#now coloring is fun!!!!!! its not something im afraid of anymore

[bingobongobonko]

methinks i will make a new kind of commission section cuz colored sketches are actually really fucking fun, not finished with it rn but wow. my depth and shading has gotten better, if not adapted to my style.

#i have THAT goin for me!!!!!!!! i admit ive been in a sour mood and im not in the best mindset but. this is nice #i feel accomplished... my art rlly has taken a turn for the better #well objectively #i loved my style back then even when i wasnt good #i say good but i dont think me or anyone for that matters ever been BAD at art its just a learning thing yk #whatever that means but idk theres merit in the growth #i like how it is rn .. proud of myself #ofc i still wanna emphasize and improve my linework but do think me pathing off into color-heavy artwork has been REALLY good for me for #not getting like #bored #now coloring is fun!!!!!! its not something im afraid of anymore

[blackvail22]

9/24/23 — 1:10am

theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him

also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different

the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore

if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.

i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.

on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....

im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too

oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room

oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol

anyways i like this song

6:06am —

dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.

bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry

i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long

11:17pm

been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it

i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep

#Spotify

[onedaymyflowergardenwillbloom]

These are fun and I’m trying to avoid work so I’m filling out a questionnaire thing from when I was like 14/15 lmao...

TEN "ARE YOU'S": 1. Are you single? – Yes. 2. Are you happy? - Delusionally happy, but if I’m in reality no. 3. Are you bored? – I WISH BUT I’M AN ADULT WITH A JOB SO I REALLY WISH I WAS (honestly miss those days of boredom as a teen...I took those days for GRANTED).  5. Are you Italian? – Nope  6. Are you German? – Halfish...I’m biracial so on my white side there’s a lot of German. 7. Are you Asian? – No. 8. Are you French? – Maybe somewhere on the white side of my family? Though I doubt it.  9. Are you Irish? – 1% haha (this I do know) 10. Are your parents still married? – Yes. _____________________________________ FACTS 1. Hair color – Brown. 2. Hair Style – Long braids :) 3. Eye Color – Brown. 4. Gender – Fem-presenting cis woman  5. Lefty or Righty- Right. ____________________________________ TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE: 1. Have you ever been in love? – I’ve been in lust ;) but not in love. 2. Do you believe in love at first sight? – I don’t personally, but I know some people do and I’m totally on board with that.  3. Who is the last girl you talked to? – One of my best friends 4. Have you ever been hurt? Most definitely (unfortunately its just a part of life) 5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? – Not that I now of 6. Are you in love? – Nope 7. Are you friends with your ex? – Yes, as it was one of those situations where we both realized that we are better off as friends then romantic partners. The breakup wasn’t dramatic at all and was a mutual decision from both of us. Now we are happy and friends. In fact my ex is married now and I’m super happy for them :).  8. Are you afraid of commitment? – YES 9. Have you hugged someone within the last week? – Oof no (yikes lol) 10. Have you ever had a secret admirer? – Yeah...and unfortunately it was mostly from creepy ass old men my dads age... _____________________________________ TEN THIS OR THAT: 1. Love or Lust? – I’mma be 100% honest and say lust...being a slut is too much fun.  2. Lemonade or Iced Tea? – Lemonade 3. Cats or Dogs?- BOTH 4. A few best friends or many regular friends? – A few best friends 5. Television or Internet? – Internet 7. Wild night out or romantic night in? – As a now 30 year old grandma I’d definitely rather have a romantic night in because going out is too much effort...if I were in college and in my early 20s I’d definitely say wild night out.  8. Pink or Purple? – PINK 9. Day or Night? – Night definitely. I’m a big night owl.  10. IM or Phone? – WOW THIS LIST IS OLD ASF...I don’t remember the last time I used IM XD. So definitely phone because who uses IM anymore xD.  _____________________________________ TEN HAVE YOU EVER'S: 1. Been caught sneaking out? – Nope...fun fact, when I was 16 I snuck out once to go to a Slipknot concert with a goth boy I liked in hopes he’d notice me...he didn’t in fact..notice. In fact he ended up flirting with the other girl who went with us...OOF. 2. Fell down the stairs? – LOL, yes. 3. White water rafted? – Nope 4. Finished an entire jaw breaker? – Yes 5. Wanted something/someone so bad it hurt? - In a slutty way yes... 7. Skipped School? – Nope...I was too much of a goody two shoes in school to do that lmao. I also had African parents so there was NO WAY I’d be able to get away with that. 8. Wanted to disappear? – HAHAHAHAHAAHA as someone with diagnosed high-functioning depression hell yes... 9. Been to a concert? – Yes 10. Mailed a letter? – Yes _____________________________________ NINE PREFERENCES FOR THE OPPOSITE GENDER (WHAT IN THE HETERONORM IS THIS LIST LMAO! I’m still going to answer it anyway because its amusing): 1. Smile or Eyes? – Smile  2. Light or Dark Hair? – Hair color? The fuck xD. I will say though that if he’s a blonde adult its a big no for me... (LMAO WHAT ARE THESE QUESTIONS HAHAHA) 3. Hugs or Kisses? – Hugs (a lot of guys just don’t know how to kiss...sorry not sorry) 4. Shorter or Taller? – Lmao these questions..I don’t have a preference but I would not want him to tower over me because that’s just...super intimidating and uncomfortable for me.  5. Intelligence or Attractiveness? – Intelligence DEFINITELY, but both are important. Attraction to a certain extent is important (also important to note that attraction is subjective, as each person has their own idea of who they find attractive).  6. Dancer or Scholar? – I don’t know what it is about this question that is giving me “slut-shamey” vibes but I’d say dancer...cause if he’s a man and a scholar he’s probably one of those assholes who were philosophy/sociology majors in college who’d raise their hand in class and say some bullshit like “Not to be devil’s advocate but...” At least with a male dancer he’d have an appreciation for the arts and embraces creativity (which is a big green flag for me). 7. Hook-up or relationship? – Like I mentioned before, being a slut is more fun so hook-up.  8. Funny and poor OR rich and serious? Funny and poor. Rich and serious sounds like a finance bro who’d probably just gaslight me my whole life. He probably is deep within the manosphere too...so no thanks. 9. Play the guitar or into sports? – Play the guitar. I hate sports...especially sports culture... ____________________________________ NINE LASTS: 1. Last phone call? A couple days ago 2. Last phone call you received? A couple days ago 3. Last person you hung out with? Two of my best friends 4. Last person you hugged? My mom 5. Last person you IM'ed? AGAIN WHO STILL USES IM XD. Probably a high school friends waaay back in the day.  6. Last thing you ate? a salad 7. Last thing you drank? Water (remember to drink it folks!)

8. Last site you went on? Spotify 9. Last place you were? Work (still at work...) _____________________________________ RELATIONSHIPS: 1. Are you in a committed relationship? hahahaaha, nope! 2. Do you want to be? When I’m on my period, drunk, or seeing loving couples on social media yes...but most times absolutely not.  _____________________________________ FRIENDS: 1. Do you secretly hate one of your friends? (these questions are toxic asf...being a teenager was a TIME) I could NEVER EVER EVER hate any of my friends. Pro tip...if you have a friend you secretly hate, they aren’t your friend. End the friendship because someone whose your friend should be your friend because you like them and you like being around them.  2. Do you consider all of your friends good friends? Absolutely!  3. Who knows everything about you? All my friends :) (all of them are special and lovely and they all care so much about me which I’m so grateful for). 4. Did you lie during this survey? Nope (if I did lie I wouldn’t have admitted that I like being a slut).  _____________________________________ RANDOM: 1. Who were your last 4 texts from? My friends, World Market (gotta keep up with the sales), and my healthcare provider because like I said...I’m an old ass bitch, so I got a text from my healthcare provider to remind me of my doctor’s appointment coming up lmao. 2. Where was your default picture taken? AGAIN THESE OLD ASS QUESTIONS XD. No comment because who has a default picture nowadays... 3. How old are you? 30 and thriving...ish.... 4. What is your current mood? Anxious...cause I’m at work... 5. What's your mom's middle name? Phiri 6. What color shirt are you wearing? Yellow 7. If you could go back in time and change something, would you? HAHAHA HELL YES (so many scenarios are coming up in my head...).  11. Name someone with the same birthday as you? Shit...I have no idea...lol 12. When was the last time you cried? Over the weekend while playing Genshin Impact (some of those world quests have some of the most tearjerky plots...).  13. If you could have one super power what would it be? Telekinesis. 14. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? As a pansexual person I find these questions SO OFFENSIVE now...but I’ll answer this one and then also talk about what I notice about the same sex...for the opposite sex the first thing I notice is their face...same with the same sex. 15. Favorite color? Pink or purple 16. Do you still like kiddy movies? Oh hell yeah! In fact I find some kids movies to be better than adult ones.  17. What's your favorite smell? Anything lavender or vanilla 18. Describe your life in one word? Delusional stability or organized chaos 19. What are you looking forward to the most? SEEING GHOST IN CONCERT IN AUGUST!  20. Who are you thinking about right now? Kaveh from Genshin Impact. I just finishing playing his little mini story side quest and so he’s been on my mind. Fictional men take up way to much space in my mind... 21. What should you be doing? HAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHA...work.... 22. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? Lol my dad, we were having a debate and he kept talking over me... _________________________________ Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? My mom :3 Have you ever had a pet fish? Yep. Betta fish and some gold fish Does the future make you more nervous or excited? A mix of both Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Nope Do you believe that everything happens for reason? Sometimes. Do you have a best friend to lean on? Oh yeah, honestly I consider all my friends best friends :).  Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009? JESUS FUCK THIS QUESIONAIRE IS THIS OLD! I mean...back then I was like what....16? So I’m definitely a different person now for sure...seeing as I’m 30.  Who's thinking about you right now? Probably my family, my boss and coworkers...probably others.  Do you wanna see somebody right now? No as I’ve been working in an office for about 7sh hours now so my social battery is fried (my coworkers are very chatty...) In the past week have you felt sad? Thankfully no.  Do you like cookies n' cream bars? The Hershey's bars? Yes to both! What eye color is the prettiest? Hazel or green eyes.  What are you going to do next? Continue working until my work hours are finished, then drive home and play the new Star Wars: Jedi Survivor on my PS5

#lmao this was fun #this was made in 2009 so to fill this out as a now 30 year old in 2023 is WILD #personal #questions

[moonbinscirera]

I feel like you would be the perfect passenger for me then because I always get lost even with a GPS when it doesn't work...

Omg taste... I would love to pick up more books with a woman of color centric character and YES bonus points for good gay rep pls 🤌🏼 I really do love fantasies as well 😩 omg an angst lover 💪🏼 honestly haven't read a lot of angst lately but >:) when authors aren't afraid to kill off a character I have got to say that's super refreshing 🍿

Ahahaha fake dating got that good spice to it...will never tire of that trope but I'm giggling at the kid fics... I can definitely see why you would not want to touch those with a 10ft pole 😂 👍🏼

I'm loving your ao3 search so much!! That's so detailed slay I'm just lucky if anything I like pops up for real - at this point I think I will just read anything out of desperation when I'm bored 😅

Slayyyy I think I'll continue looking into them maybe as a potential Christmas gift!! I'll also have to loon up ToonrificTariq then 👁 I'm loving the name already 😂

Screaming at how cool you are... Honestly watched GoT off and on only for the dragons 😩 - I'm cackling at how you can do it without looking although I'm sure you didn't miss *too* much 😂

I... am a fic writer 😩🫣 I don't think my stories are all that cool unfortunately... Most of the attention/notes have gone towards nsfw content rather than the sfw I used to labor over 💔 such is the woes of writeblr 😔

Thank you for thinking I'm studious 😂 I'm studying IT 🤓 I'm pretty sure I'll be graduating right before the gift giving starts off for this event hehe.. I cannot wait to be done for now 😭 homework and lectures are sooo boring at this point but the 24/7 working life... Ew! What about you (if you don't mind me asking hehe) 😳

xhxydhddhd at least if the gps breaks well be lost together shsbsshd

sometimes it feels like its a lil hard to find books with woc protags that arent realistic fiction and i hate that 😭 cuz alot of time the "realistic" setting they pick is one i cant relate to cuz i didnt grow up in the city or i wasnt the only black family in a whyte suburbs u know? so it takes like triple the digging to find something to connect to and it feel fun and not like racism porn 😭

anyway! angst is so good like its so satisfying and isnt there just something so so so like brain itching good about a homie being like please play pretend with me and then going oh shit wait its not pretend anymore actually?

im generally a rarepair shipper??? like in most fandoms i get into so its like i gotta be methodical and double back alot or else ill run outta content 😭 like even my favorite dynamic in svt is wonhao which barely anyone is checkin for 😭 (but quite honestly any less talked about hao dynamic imma jump thru hoops for like any of 95 line with him?????)

can u tell hao is my ult like is it obvious? i prommi i like him a normal amount like an absolutely normal amount like i swear on go- [gunshot]

do it do it do it doit³

im telling u i was in s2-3 and kept being like who tf is that??? by s4 i was like if this unknown person is here its no worries theyll prolly die soon anyway dont stress dont stress

ah creative ppl are always hard on their own work tho! (i am too) i bet its cooler than u think! that sucks tho when attn doesnt go to the works u really want them too 😔 like nsfw is fun but sfw should still get some love 😔

ooo and luckily! u caught me in this month because i just applied to an online school to study health IT so i can actually say imma be studying something! starting in January im nervous 👉🏾👈🏾 BUT CONGRATULATIONS ON UR GRADUATION

#query: complete #i dont actually #have a congrats reaction pic #and i find that so funny #have a jumpscare jyp instead #xhxnxxhdndhx #DONT HATE ME #everytime i see gps #my mind wants to autocorrect to general population sastifaction #please dont ask why #idk either #lemme get outta these tags-

[tsukishumai]

Fluff 40, 46, 50 for Ushijima please. Gomen ^^ I hope Im not asking for too much 😅 Have a nice day!

a/n: that awkward moment when u sent this a month and a half ago 😃 heyyyy sorry I finally got around to it 😅 I hope ya don’t mind I just did three little mini drabbles

40. Why are you scared of loving?

Ushijima should be used to your antics by now.

To this day, the two of you get the occasional unsolicited comment about how you made such an odd couple. Ushijima was quiet, stoic, serious. You were loud, playful, and fun.

Maybe it is true what they say about opposites attracting. He begrudgingly accepts that he may or may not be just the teensiest bit boring, so he appreciates all the vivacious color that you bring into his life. He didn’t realize he could find such joy in the most mundane things until he was doing them with you cracking the most ridiculous puns next to him.

So, really, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when you burst into the living room, holding your phone to your face as if you were recording a video.

“Guys, you won’t believe this,” he hears you say, and now he knows you’re recording for some social media app (he’s not sure which one, there’s so many.)

“Toshi just told me he didn’t love me anymore,” you say dramatically, pointing the camera to his face. His own bewildered expression stared back at him on the little screen, looking at you lIke you just grew two heads.

“What? When did I say that?” He said.

“Just a few minutes ago,” you pouted.

Ushijima thought hard about your recent interactions, furrowing his brow before finally realizing. “You mean, when I said we couldn’t get a puppy?”

“Exactly!” You yelled dramatically, bringing the phone back to your own face, “Why are you scared of loving?”

You didn’t wait for an answer, immediately faking a sob as you ran away from him.

Ushijima just shook his head. He should be used to your antics, by now, and still he sat there, staring after you with a big dopey smile on his face.

46. You’re hurt. Please just let it heal.

You shouldn’t be there, you know it better than anyone. But your mind was going crazy just sitting in your dorm, and you could quite literally feel the muscles in your body deteriorating.

The air felt crisp in your lungs, your breaths coming out in puffs as you stretched along the track. The swelling around your ankle has subsided substantially, and you figured a little jog would be alright.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

You froze at the deep baritone voice that seemed to pierce straight to your heart. You figured getting up at the crack of dawn might have allowed you more time before he caught you, but you should have known better.

You turn around slowly to face the disappointment clearly on Ushijima’s face, the boy in question dressed only in a hoodie and a pair of gray sweats.

“Heeeyyy, Toshi,” you say sheepishly, “I was just gonna... do a little walk around the track?”

Ushijima said nothing, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

Your shoulders slumped. “Toshi, I need to get better before the Spring Tour—“

“And you think this is the way to do it?”

You pout. “It’s just a sprained ankle.”

Ushijima took a step towards you, a wave of seriousness washing over him.

“You’re hurt. Please just let it heal.”

You could feel your irritation slowly dissipate the longer he stared you down. Beneath the apparent scowl on his face, you could see the way he’s scrunched his brow, eyes filled with concern.

You sigh, slipping your hand in his before dragging him away from your bad intentions.

“Easy for a nationally ranked superstar ace to say,” you grumbled.

Ushijima smiled, removing his hand from yours only to wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closely into his side.

“You should listen to me because I’m a nationally ranked super star ace.”

50. Stay.

The pattern of Ushijima’s breathing began to slowly shift into something deep and heavy, and you know he’s fallen asleep.

You weren’t exactly sure what to do in this situation. You’ve never thought to stay passed your sordid tryst, and he had never thought to extend his welcome.

You turn to look at him; his mouth hung slightly open, his features looking so relaxed, you wanted to reach out and caress him. You weren’t sure what it was about seeing Ushijima this way that made your heart bloom in its chest, and you were afraid to find out.

You slowly try to maneuver yourself out of bed, one foot nearly on the hardwood floor when you felt the arm around your waist tighten.

You snap your head back to find the previously serene Ushijima was now staring at you with one open and eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Where are you going?” He muttered, his voice thick with the sleep that had just washed over him.

“Oh.. I was gonna go home—“

“Stay,” he had said, looking up at you with eyes so hopeful, you felt your breath stolen from your lungs.

Slowly, you turn back around, wrapping the covers around you, and letting yourself fall asleep in the arms of Ushijima Wakatoshi

#sry the last one was kinda lazy #ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima drabble #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima imagine #ushijima fluff #ushijima x you #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #hq

[cringefestuwu]

(This is pretty much a part 2 to the crew vacation- likEeh...half way through my writing was deleted so i had to rewrite it...welp-)

~The crew on a vacation(2)~

----------------------------

(Art doesn't belong to me)

----------------------------------------------

After all the bickering and teasing thrown your and al's way you all finally made it out of the hotel room, luckily taking less time than last night to change in to the swinsuits and cover-ups, angel ofcourse holding the sand tools, nifty holding the towels and sunscreen. (theres no sun tho wh-) the only task at hand now was going down the 6 set of stairs to get to the bottom. Luckily getting down was easier than up, making it exhausting to go on after. But it didn't take much to get back going after. Honestly dreading the fact you'd have to walk back up the stair sets by this afternoon.

Eventually you all made it to a small gate that was left open, the right one slightly off its hinges. Two huge bushed on either side, blocking the view until you walked through. First angel and charlie walked through the gate, followed by husk, nifty, than vaggie. Alastor let you go in ahead of him, not bothering to close the gate for obvious reasons. The beach was fairly decent despite how hell's conditions are. There wasn't polution or trash, and a few demons swiming or walking along the beach here and there, overall surprisingly peaceful. Instead of a light blue sky was a blood red one, the rest looked almost exactly the same other than the water, it was a darker, almost light red color. Nifty started setting the towels down to sit on, almost having a coniption when even a little sand got onto it. Vaggie and charlie putting sunscreen on as angel took no time in sprawling the sand tools along the ground, beginning to play in the sand to his hearts content, making you think he's just a child in an adult body. Beginning to strip out of your cover-up, seeing the others soon do the same, eager to get into the water. Husker on the other hand took a seat on the towel, drinking his cheap booze like normal. As you took off the cover-up you looked out at the ocean, seeing the high waves crash against the shore. The sign saying it signalled high tide, but that just made it more fun, ofcourse you just hoped it wouldn't drown you. Eventually setting the clothing on the towel as to not get sand in it. Showing your (f/c) bathing suit underneath, you weren't so sure about it being a two-piece, afraid of judgement, but if you were going to be in the water than it wouldn't be so bad. Looking over to see al already had taken his over shirt off, showing the red striped short-sleeve shirt, along with the matching shorts. One thing you couldn't help but notice was the short fluffy tail and hooves for feet. You haven't really taken the time to process that feature of his, to be fair it just made him look more adorable in your eyes, especially if the tail began waging, unsure why he hid it all the time. He was talking to nifty for amoment before they went their seperate ways, his crimson eyes eventually landing on you, his smile widening as he went over to you, taking notice of your swimsuit almost immediately. You worried he'd reply negatively to it, though all he did was twirl you, hand in hand with him "My, you look lovely as ever, darling!" He said, his voice just as loud and prominent as ever. It made your heart fluster from how happy he looked being here.

"Last one in the water's a rotten egg!" You heard charlie shout, running towards the water, angel, being angel...hopped up, trying to outrun her, a smile forming on your face as you looked over at al, hopping up to leave a kiss on his nose before running out to the water, leaving al to sand there for a moment, soon following closely behind. The only thing slowing you down from completely getting in were the crashing waves pushing you every which way. Angel ending up jumping in, completely disapearing in the water before emerging after a few seconds, pushing his hair out of his face, only haveing a moment before a wave crashed into him, making him have to pay attention more behind him, the waves rising up to a foot or so taller than him, and you were a few feet under him. You pushed past all the waves you could get past to go into the more calmer part of the water, eventually going to an area you barely could touch. Looking back towards the others in the water, seeing them splashing or riding the waves. Alastor was just floating in the water, the waves seeming to not affect him much. Angel eventually turned to you, being a 8 feet away from you, vagually seeing a shoked look on his face, making you confused (and fairly concerned), at that moment you felt the water pulling back, pulling you back as well. "(Y/N) BEHIND YOU!" He yelled, pointing over your head, causing everyone to look your way. You quickly turned around only to see a wave a good few feet taller than you, towering over you as it came crashing down, causing your fear to hit you like a brick.

Pulling you under water, not giving you the chance to hold your breath, already tasting the salt water pooling in your mouth and nose, causing you to gag as it felt like it was burning your brain. Dragging you along with the current before your head hit the bottom. All while only seeing black, the salt burning your eyes if you dared opening them. You felt like completely passing out before you felt a hand firmly grasp your wrist, yanking you up frim the water as they wrapped ther arm around your stomach as they seemingly teleported to shore, immediatly you started coughing and hack up the water that you ingested. You vaguely heard voices around you, all the water in your ears disabling you from hearing clearly. Eventually feeling it drain from them, helping to hear much clearer, you looked up to see alastor had been holding you, possibly pulling you from the water, the water drenched his hair, making his ears droop, his hair in his face a good bit as he stared down at you with wide-eyes, his smile more forced and smaller than previously.

"(Y/n)!" You finally heard him calling you, staring back at him as you looked around the area, seeing the concern on charlie's face. Making you quickly look at the sandy ground. "I- uh- im alright.." You said, slowly getting out of al's arms, though his hand remainded wrapped on your wrist in a firm grip, causing you to look back at al, he had the same look on his face, eventually feeling him begin to shake. "Al?" You fully turned to him, a worried look on your face as you brought your hand toward his cheek, he didn't react. You would have said something, though the others looked as if they were gone, just not around anymore? You looked back at al, but his expression was different, his hair fully covered his eyes as he looked towards the ground, eventually feeling some liquid stream down his cheek, it was bitch black. Was he crying?

"Please dear...dont worry me like that again..." He finally spoke, his voice cracking, the static noise sparking every time he spoke. You stared at him for a while, eventually pulling him into a tight hug. "Im...sorry- im so sorry...i-i didnt mean- i" he quickly shushed you, pulling from the hug a bit to look at you, his hair having been moved from his face, his smile not so forced anymore. "Don't apologize...i know it wasn't your intention, just be more careful" he said jokingly, cupping your cheek with his hand. You quietly chuckled in return, leaning in as you kissed him on the lips, setting your hand on his shoulder, he leaned into it not a moment later, wrapping his arm around your back to bring you closer, feeling the tears on his face come in contact with yours. Eventually pulling away as you stared at him. "Don't worry, im sure I'll be alright" you said, quietly laughing as you felt the atmosphere go back to normal as if time resumed. Seeing everyone still standing there with their concerned looks, you just gave them a soft smile. "Don't worry, im just fine, cmon, we came here to have fun!"

~~

After the day began ending you all started packing, pretty ready to get a shower and cuddle up in bed. Everyone gathering the things before walking back past the gates, looking back up towards the stairs...oh right. The stairs...

damnit.

#hazbinhotel #alastor #alastor x reader

[ethanharli]

Requested: Nah.

Pairing(s): Asra x Top Male Reader

Warning(s): Some Angst, Flashbacks, Mentions of heartbreak, Sudden confession, Cliffhanger, Long, Sister Nadia.

A/n- I brought this over from my Wattpad, and I edited it a bit but this is the longest One-Shot I've ever made, just fifty words away from three thousand :")).

_______________

A frustrated groan slipped past my lips as I fumbled with the sleeves of my costume, it may sound silly but its true. I refuse to wear anything that could reveal my torso, besides my face of course but that's only because its not covered in ink. Now don't get me wrong, the art adoring my body is nothing but beautiful, yet some of its a bit much for the public eye, and I hate attention. Guess Muriel and I are the same in that regard. After adjusting the sleeves I slipped on my rings and emerald necklace that clung tightly around my throat, which didn't bother me in the slightest bit as I drag my pierced tongue over my bottom lip. Finishing up with a few things I quickly locked up my house and headed on my way to the palace, Nadia had invited me over for the Masquerade this year since the last one ended with Lucio and the Devil trying to take over.

I really have to admire that apprentice, their magic is quiet fascinating. With a small smirk I slipped on my wolfs mask, nothing original but the black and vibrant neon of purple and green helping it stand out, even if only by the slightest. The journey to the palace was quite fun, watching people light up fireworks and drink to their hearts content without a worry in the world. Yet it was a whole new world once I entered the palace gates, making my way towards the ball room in hopes to run into my sister, but Nadia is nowhere to be found. "Should've expected as much, she is the Countess after all" I muttered with a proud smile, if only my familiar where here to keep me company but sadly having a grey wolf in this crowd isn't such a good idea, poor thing would be trampled despite her large size.

Taking a glass of wine I sipped it slowly, enjoying the bubbly feeling of it going down my throat. Yet a slither around my ankle caught my attention, and I froze at the sight of a familiar snake, looking up at me with their cute tilted head. "Friend!" Faust cheered, happily slithering up my body to rest on my shoulders, "Yes Faust, it's good to see you again" A pained smile forced at my lips, scratching softly under Faust's chin. If Faust's here then Asra and his apprentice must be close by, I should've expected as much. "Miss you" My heart tightened at the words, forcing the breath out my lungs painfully, and here I thought I could enjoy the Masquerade without running into anyone else, but I guess even an over packed Masquerade can't hide me from them. "I missed you too Faust-" My words were cut off by a familiar voice, merely a couple feet behind me, yelling for the beautiful creature wrapped around my shoulders.

"Im sorry Faust but I really should be leaving, please don't tell Asra I was here alright?" I asked as worry started to pool in the pit of my stomach, however Faust simply tilted her head, watching me curiously. Nevertheless I made a slow pace to the exit, not wanting to rise any sort of suspicion as Asra yells a bit louder. And there he is, my savior. Putting on a small smile I took a drink from a waiters tray, walking up to Julian without seeming any bit out of place, then once the right moment hit I brushed my shoulder against his and shrugged Faust onto him, not once turning back to look at them. However I knew I wasn't out in the clear just yet since a pair of eyes followed me as I left the room.

Being out in the hall felt a lot better then being so close to him. Especially when I'm not ready to face him just yet, hell I don't even think I have the power to look at him without freezing up, how stupid of me to think I could come back here. "[Y/n]?" The sound of Nadia's voice finally got me to relax a bit, letting the tension in my shoulders drop, "Hey Sis, it's been a while" I smiled down at her, watching as her eyes soften before pulling me into a tight embrace that I gladly returned. "Where'd you go? You told me that you were going to talk to Asra after what happened with Lucio and the Devil but it was only him that came back, he said he didn't know where you ran off to and when I tried to ask what happened he'd never answer!" Her crimson eyes glare up at me as they slowly fill with tears that I quickly brushed away.

"Its okay Nadi, Im back now and I plan to stay, I missed my little sister way to much to be gone for so long" I chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood even only for a second, before she looks at my costume with not very well hidden disgust. "You've really never had an eye for fashion have you?" She sighs, taking my hand and dragging me down the hall where Portia was standing. Once her eyes met mine her face lit up in realization, "[Y/n]! You're back!" She jumped up to hug me, which I returned with a ruffle of her long hair.

"Portia could you please get my dear brother to one of the guest rooms so he can change?" Nadi smiled and Portia couldn't have answered any happier, "Yes milady! Now c'mon [Y/n] lets get you a new costume!" She cheered, dragging me away by the sleeve of my shirt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this wasn't going to end well, and by the time I was pushed in the room with a new set of clothing I knew I was right. The clothing was way to revealing for my liking, even though the color and fabric made me look elegant and right at home. The top exposed my arms and most of my chest, the 'V' stopping right above my waist which the pants hugged tightly, yet the rest of it was baggy except the bottom of it, which also hugged my ankles nicely.

But my tattoos and scars were out in the open. The skulls, flowers, and chains that decorate my body glowed a faint blue color, as if cheering that they were finally free from my always concealed clothing.

I didn't want to wear it, every part of my mind was screaming to tear it off but I couldn't. My sister picked this out for me and this is her party, I'll do it for her if not for myself. Sliding my mask back on I headed out the room, looking down at Portia with a nervous smile as she stared at the art in wonder, "I never knew you had these!" She pouted, looking as If I had betrayed her somehow. I could only reached out and pat her head, trying to ignore the eyes that locked onto me, "Im not very fond of them, so I always hid them, Im sorry for not telling you sooner." She merely rolled her eyes and smiled at me before realization yet again broke on her face, "I need to go tell the rest you're here! Stay put!" My eyes widened as I tried to stop her, but she was already out of reach before I could, and the slithery presence was back at my feet.

"Friend!"

Fucking hell.

At that moment I felt the fight to run away slowly drain from me, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, no matter how hard I tried. Even so, with what resistance was left in me I headed towards the garden with Faust resting peacefully on my shoulders, and stayed put by the fountain, letting my eyes flutter shut for a mere moment.

_____

My palms started to sweat as I looked down into those mesmerizing lavender eyes that watched me with an amused glint, "Asra I-" The words got caught in my throat for the millionth time now, and even I was getting impatient with myself. But can you blame me? Asra looked so majestic under the moonlight, with the stars that practically glowed in his eye's, I don't think I've ever thought it was possible to feel so relaxed and intimidated at the same time.

"[Y/n], are you okay?" He asked, his voice barley above a whisper as he slowly reached up, softly brushing his fingers against my cheek. A flutter in my chest caused the chains on my body to recoil slightly, and thankfully he didn't notice the change, "No, I just can't hold it in anymore Asra" My hand clenched tightly on my sleeves, nearly causing them to rip while Asra brushed a lock of hair of of my face. "Hold in what?" He smiled, but my eyes drifted to his chest, looking where the mark on his heart is hiding, causing me to reluctantly pull away from his touch.

It was a simple friendly gesture he's always done to calm me down, to bring me back from whatever clouded my thoughts. So when I pulled away he reached out again, slower this time, as if any rushed movement would send me away. "Asra stop" He looked a bit shocked when I grabbed his wrist, but my grip was gentle, cause I'm more afraid of hurting him than anyone else. However the negative thoughts practically swallowed my mind whole as I rejected his magic from flowing into me. The mark on his chest was the only thing I could look at, cause it reminds me everyday that he gave up some of his heart for his apprentice, to bring them back. Jealousy truly is a cruel thing.

"Nevermind, it was foolish of me to think I even had a chance" I whispered with a bitter chuckle, taking a step back I crossed my arms, turning my broken gaze towards the sky. "Forget it, just go back to your apprentice, they need you more than I do" I don't know why my words came out laced in such malice and sorrow, but they did, and that seemed to earn a glare back from him. "What's wrong with you? Ever since you found out about my deal its like all you want to do is run away from me and push me away, if you have something to say to me then go ahead and say it, but do not drag them into this."

The chain around my neck tightened, slowly crushing at my windpipe as I clenched my fists and smiled softly to myself. I knew I'd regret what I did next, I knew it would weigh on me forever, I knew it would cause me much more pain then it did right then, but I did it anyway. Ill have to thank Ilya if this works, putting on my best face I turned towards Asra and scoffed, tilting my head a bit, like I usually do when pissed off, even though this is just a lovely facade. "Don't even bother, its not like you'd care anyways, would you? All you care about is that apprentice of yours, you even gave up part of your heart for them" I let the words flow, nearly letting the tears pool in my eyes when I spat them out.

"Is that really what you think?" He hissed, knuckles turning white from how tightly he was grasping his sleeves, but I didn't let myself falter under his gaze. "Asra I don't have to think it when I know its true, we've known each other since we were kids, you can't fool me" I scoffed, glaring back into his lavender eyes, keeping that gaze was a lot harder then I thought it would be. Before he could speak up I made sure to cut him off, "You love 'em, that's the only reason you'd do it right? Because you love them? Let me guess, you couldn't live without them could you?" I rolled my eyes, looking off to my left, practically feeling his breath hitch for a moment, confirming what I needed to know.

Im sorry Asra.

You don't have to forgive me.

Because I highly doubt these chains will go anywhere, I can never be free. Even with you by my side, the one person that keeps me together, the one person that I'd risk everything for.

Im so sorry.

"Just leave already, its not like you want to be here anyways right? So just leave me alone, I don't want you here."

_____

I don't remember much after that, but I do know he left, and I was left alone to wallow in my own despair. The chains got tighter over the year, so tight that the only thing keeping me breathing is all the techniques I've learned, and the fact I learned how to hold my breath for a long while. A few tears slip past my [E/c] eyes, that Faust happily wipes away with her tail, rubbing her face against my cheek, "Friend!" She smiles, curling against me, it felt so good to have her around again. Even if this'll be the last time.

The chains tighten a slight fraction, forcing me to hold my breath. "[Y/n]?" My body tensed at how my name rolled off his lips, it felt like a distant dream, like this isn't actually happening, but one look at him and I know its real. My god has he always looked so gorgeous? Or am I going crazy? Probably both. Once [E/c] met Lavender I knew I was done, his hairs pushed back like last year though the mask kinda looks the same, with only a few added touches, and his costume definitely gets him to stand out above the rest, just a beautiful array of bright colors clashing against his mixed skin, it hugs his figure perfectly. He looks like a god amongst the light of the fountain.

"Its me" I sighed out, reluctantly turning my gaze back to my feet. I couldn't help the surprise when he moved in front of me, placing both hands on my cheeks, looking into my eyes with such relief that I could hardly believe it. His touch sent shivers down my spine, slowly I started to breathe again as the chains retract a bit, I had clearly forgotten how revealing my clothes are, cause once the chains pulled back Asra's eyes shifted to them.  "How long have you had these?" He asked, trailing his hands down to trace the marking with a soft touch, "Asra wait-" Yet the mark appears, the same one he has, just mine glowed a faint blue in the center of my chest.

His eyes widened seeing the mark, keeping his eyes on it as if it were to attack at any moment, "You've never had chains, its always been your skulls and flowers, is it because of this? Why didn't you tell me about this?" He looked hurt, the same hurt in his eyes that he had a year ago when we last talked.

"What was your deal?"

Oh how I wanted to tell him, but the chains tightened at the thought, yet I pushed through it, Im tired of lying, I'm tired of keeping everything in, Im tired of it all, "That I couldn't be open anymore, that I wouldn't be able to speak my mind freely like I once did." A small cough ripped out my throat as a blue glow tried to burn past the chains, failing miserably. "What? Why?" He looked stunned, I don't blame him, I've always been one to speak my mind and tell everyone how I'm feeling, to be honest to myself and them without a care about what others thought.

But..

"I was scared, there's something I've always wanted to say, but I never could because I've always been so afraid about what would happen after, what if it went wrong? What if I messed up? What if I said something wrong? What if you-" My mouth snapped shut as quickly as it could, now I certainly can't avoid this, cause those lavender eyes stare at me with such intensity I might just burn away. His hands slowly moved up to my neck, letting his magic aid in pulling the chain away from my neck, allowing me to breath freely. "What about me?" He asked softly, keeping his gaze fixed on mine as my hands unconsciously travel to his hips.

I guess it's now or never..

Building what up whatever courage I had left, I pulled Asra against my chest, using one hand to push his mask out the way, before claiming his lips with mine.

#asra x reader #asra x male reader #asra the magician #asra the arcana #x male reader #x seme male reader #nadia the arcana #julian the arcana #portia the arcana #x dom male reader #x top male reader #asra x top male reader #asra x you #asra x dom male reader

[surveysonfleek]

1622.

Have you ever gotten a flu vaccination? tbh i dont think i ever have! im not anti vax or anything (i had the covid vaccine) but yeah, just never thought to get the flu shot

Do you know anyone who drives a BMW? yes

Honestly, do you give a shit? not about much haha

When’s the last time you hugged your mother? lmao i dont remember. i think when she went on an interstate trip. we also kiss and hug each other only when we drop each other at the airport

What’s the last restaurant you ate at? pho

Double dates: a do or don’t? theyre fine

Do you know any guitarists? yes

Quick, name 3 of your favorite radio stations: i dont listen to the radio

How do you feel about full length beards? i dont like them on my fiance at all lol

Have you ever been to a circus? years ago. i havent seen any around in a loooong time

Do you know anyone who’s gone to a Fat Camp? no

Are you straight-edge? yes

Do you use Facebook IM everyday? yes

How many surveys have you done already today? three now

What’s the WORST show on Adult Swim? i dont have that channel

Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? nope

Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? haha yes all the time. my heart always drops when i get tagged in a photo on ig or fb

Which grade in school was the most fun for you? hmm maybe 11? idk aha

Which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? puppy

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? nope, im drama free baby

Do you ever just want to go away to a new place where no one knows you? nah, my city is big enough that not everyone knows me

You’re ordering a pizza, you can have any kind of toppings, what are they? i actually wouldnt care about the topping, id request the cheese filled crusts

Do you hit ‘quiet’ or ‘ignore’ on your cell? Which one usually? ignore lol

Do you ever regret giving your number to people? nope. only companies if im honest haha

Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? no

Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? yes. i dont really remember the taste of it

Does/did your high school have pop machines? nope

Do you use a public computer, or do you have your own? i have my own

Do you ever find it odd how you type LOL when you’re not really laughing? yup lol. its just a way to break awkwardness or to sound ‘friendly’

Have you ever gambled? yassss, its a pastime for my bf and i. havent gone in ages

Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? nope

If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? bath and body works

What’s the shortest you would ever cut your hair? just below my shoulders. i wouldnt suit short hair

Do you listen to any deathcore? no

Do you subscribe to any teen magazines? Which ones? nope

Do you know someone who never smiles? haha yes

Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable at work? no

Do you still watch South Park? no

Tell me one movie you’ve seen recently that sucked: brazen, its on netflix

Have you ever carved something into a dinner booth somewhere? no

When’s the last time you were carded at a bar? its bit a minute lol. i think im officially past the age of getting carded, i mustnt look that young anymore :(

Do you smoke little cigars? Have you ever tried them? ive tried them. i dont like it

You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? ive never babysat ever lol

What’s the last thing you returned at a store? an icecream machine

What’s the name of the last cat you pet? haha i dont remember, i dont touch cats

Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? nope

If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? light brown

Who’s got your heart? my fiance

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[titsuya]

HI BAE gender preference for this one is male and hq

my name is kay, i'm sexy (they/them pronouns) #18yo barely legal blonde with big ass! not clickbait!! i am an ARIES YAY ♈️♈️ birthday is april 18th

i'm an infp-t (who was surprised by that) but i have trouble getting along with people because like im annoying and they get tired of me

anyway my love language is gifts and quality time- my ideal date would honestly just be like a late night trip to 7/11, getting snacks then eating them in the parking lot LMAO (or just like any time with that person) my favorite color is yellow! it reminds me of like spring and SUN DRESS SEASON YEAH BABY

hobbies yay!!! i play softball (jfc it takes up 70% of my free time) volleyball and i just sleep a lot ngl

this probably isn't needed but honestly my type just big men LMAO

UH YEAH DM ME IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER INFO BABY I LOVE YOUUU

KAYYYY MY SEXY BABY hello thank u for participating mwahhhh i hope u like ur matchup

I MATCH YOU WITH

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

duh you guys are like #1 himbo/bimbo couple— im joking. but no, you guys are the spontaneous couple everyone wants. so sweet, barley any fights and if you guys do fight, its over something stupid like what to get for dinner. you both are a joy to be around and everyone loves you dearly. also bokuto never gets tired of you <33 (neither do i im in love with you)

YOUR TROPE: best friends to lovers

you met awhile ago and have always liked each other but never really told each other because you were both afraid of rejection/ ruining your amazing relationship. there was never a dull moment in your friendship. you guys are the most fun people to exist and you both know it, too. the way you got together was fucking adorable, too. it was a late night at his place and you were watching a scary movie and he’s like, “h-hey…” and you’re like, “…hi?” and he’s like “you know this movie is really scary,,, we should kiss during the scary parts…” and you smile and just start making out with him. then he kinda just admits he’s basically been in love with you since god knows when and now ur like 👯💑💞

YOUR SONG: talk too much — coin

THIS IS YOUR SONG I LITERALLY DONT HAVE AN EXPLANATION BUT ITS JUST…. SO KOUKAY (ur ship name im giving u) or KAYKOU or BOKAY haha (b)okay sorry

i literally just cant explain it but yeah this is your song

moodboard !!!

DRABBLE hopefully u like thissss

“baby baby baby!” bokuto exclaims, shaking your body vigorously. “ice cream or twinkies?” he asks, holding both items in his hands next to his face.

you hum, “usually, i’d say both, but i don’t think you need anymore sugar this late at night… but i still say both, cause who cares, right?”

he laughs, “you’re right, thanks babe,” 

you two skip around the store and end up with more food than you expected, but bokuto says, “don’t worry, if you can’t finish it, you know i will,” all with a triumphant smile etched onto his face. 

you just laugh and nod, “i have no doubt that you can finish all this by yourself,”

once you pay for all the snacks, you go back to the car and let the soft music play as you two talk about the most random things with your mouths full. 

“i wonder how often we do this,” bokuto ponders aloud, but it’s all muffled with the twinkie stuffed in his mouth. 

you shrug, in your reclined seat, staring at the roof of the car with a small smile, “i don’t know, but i’m glad i’m here with you,”

he beams at your words, leaning over to pepper kisses all over your face and you giggle trying to push him away, “kou, you’re getting twinkie cream all over me, stooop!”

“never,”

#— sar’s 1k event >.< ! #I HOPe U LIKE THIS #PLS #IF IT SUCKS #BLAME THE MINORS #I LOVE UUUU #— LUVKAY #— mooooties 🐄

[syrupyyyart]

Any advice for improving art?

Uhhh Well Im definitely far from an art expert buT I can try to give some tips!!

general art tips

• rrrreferences. use references. i know thats always said and everyone probably knows by now but references are so good man. i never use to use them, but now that i do i feel like i really cucked myself out of a lot of early art growth lol. Its also fun to take your own ref photos if you want:)

• its okay to draw the same thing over and over again. I used to draw hatsune miku in a different outfit every single time I picked up a pencil lol. Obviously tho it's recommended that you diversify what you draw at some point haha

• its okay to take things from different peoples art styles that you like. you're not a fake artist because you draw in the Steven Unuverse art style, or because you draw hair the same way as that Instagram artist you like. Also, art styles come and go, and it can be difficult to find one for yourself, so I'd HIGHLY recommend experimenting!!!! (Also its fun to draw funky sometimes haha)

digital art tips

• flip the canvas regularly!!! it makes it easier to spot little odd issues with your drawing (im not sure why tho? maybe its because its sort of like getting a fresh look at your art??)

• label your layers and/or use folders. the organization really really helps and makes drawing go by a little quicker bc you dont spend as much time looking for the layer you want haha

• they definitely arent required (i never used then until like a year ago bc i didnt understand them), but dont be afraid to use fancy layer settings. They help speed up my art process bc I dont spend as much time looking for colors (i am ADDICTED to the Glow Dodge setting lol)

traditional art tips

• you don't need the words most expensive art supplies to make pretty art. i used to make all of my marker drawings with 5 year old BIC markers that I found in my grandmas basement(and I still occasionally use them lol). all you need is something to draw on and something to draw with and you're pretty much set honestly

• (I don't draw traditional art enough so I don't have anymore tips I'm sorry)

I don't know if any of those are useful at all (and I'm sorry if they sound pretentious too :^)) but I really tried my best :,))

#good luck on ur art journey! #not art #art tips #answer #talkies #i didnt proof read it so there may be errors sorry

[cobradoesmcyt]

Infinite

POWER

Cub could feel the moment that the Power stone entered someone's hands, felt its power buzzing passively in the air.

He shakily sat down, hand twitching as it felt the power twirl around it. It longged to feel the power coursing through it once more, but he buried that deep down. As someone who’d once held the Stones, he knew the pull of their power, a power they’d just use against you if given the chance. 

He hoped that whoever had the stone didn’t get anymore, or that anymore came to be. Because he feared Hermitcraft would never be the same if all six came to be.  

Purple

When Grian had noticed that the Button had six colors he couldn’t help himself. He got a gauntlet specially made, made to be a mix between the one Iron Man used and the one Thanos used (shape of IM’s and style of Thanos’). He then used some Watcher magic to turn the concrete block into a purple stone, and he added a mild strength effect to it too. 

You know, to make it more realistic! 

 TIME

When he felt the second stone, Time, if the subtle feeling of time stopping for a second or so was anything to go by. He really hoped it was someone else. 

He hasn't yet figured out who has the Power stone, but he’ll figure it out eventually. And if he doesn't figure it out himself then he’ll just ask someone else. Easy as that! 

 Green

As soon as he got the green concrete block he did the same thing he did with the purple one. He blinked in surprise when he noticed that the air around him seemed to still, the heat still there but not trickling all over his skin like a hot breath like usual.

He looked down at where he’d just placed the green stone in, a feeling deep inside him telling him it was the stone that was doing this. So he focused in on it, silently asking it to turn time back to normal, and to his disbelief it did as it was told.

Surely it couldn’t actually be the Infinity stones, right?

 ...Right?

 SPACE

By the time he felt the presence of the Space stone he knew it was Grian that had the Stones. He’d been trying to set up a meeting with the dirty blonde, but they’d both been so busy that it hadn’t been able to happen.

So he went to Scar, hoping that he could tell him  the moment Grian became free.

The wizard agreed, but asked that he (Cub) come to his base and explain everything in person. Which Cub agreed to.

Blue

Grian had realized that the stones on his hands were more than just simple mineral crystals. Because no normal stone should open a portal to the nether at will, and most definitely not a frameless one.

When he discovered this new ability two clashing emotions filled him. On one hand he wanted nothing more than to rip the stones off and crush them under his foot before throwing them into the void. But on the other something pulled him to keep them, and to also use and master them. But most importantly it also whispered non verbal encouragements to get the last three, to finish the sextet of stones.

And he listened to the call of the Stones.   

MIND

Cub didn’t know Grian had the Mind stone until he saw the other. It had just been a quick look, the two seeing each other when Grian had been flying by when Cub stood in a portal, but the new, glistening, yellow, stone was very prominently radiating power for the short moments Cub saw it. The stone had subtly used its power passively to make Cub look at it's current wielder, as if to say “do you see what you're missing now? Look at all you could have had, look at all of what you denied”. 

It made him furious. Not at Grian, no, but with himself and the stones. If he’d been trying harder then there would be no way everything would turn to this, to the stones getting powerful enough to hide their presence from him. And if the stones had never even come into existence then things would be perfectly fine, and Grian wouldn’t be in danger of corruption. 

Oh god, Grian was in danger of corruption.    

  Yellow

Grian sat giggling at the top of his base, the voice in his head telling him of all the pranks he once abandoned and then expelling how to make them work with their powers. He didn’t ask who “they” were, mind being too wrapped up and enthralled by the prospect of finally being able to do many of the pranks he once left behind.

He was doing exactly what the Stones wanted, he was letting them in.

  SOUL /̸̧̧̳̮̑̂̀̃̈́̔̌̎̈́́̎͒̇ö̷͔͉̱̯̱̟̯͍̬͈̣͑͗̈́͋͋̎̊͘r̶̨̡̨̤̯̪̞̙̙̭̭̼̦͊̎͐̈́́ȁ̶͓͙̹̥̬̙̜̣́̎̀̆ͅn̴̢͇͔̜̦̟̱͇̼̬̻̫̪̜̊̒̊̊̏̍̇́͌̕̕͠g̴̡̡͉̗̪̘͓͖͓̞̝͊͌̓͆͠͝ͅë̶̢̨̠̝̲̤̹͔͇̗͔́͜

When Grian got the Soul stone everyone in the Nether, and Cub of course, felt it. It was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over their soul, it was suffocating and chilling. But to Grian it felt like a warm breeze had gently blown around him, it was comforting and sweet, like coming home to a loved one's embrace.

But all it was all nothing more than the Stones reconnecting, their powers melding together and holding each other once again. ‘Just one more now, one more and we can have all the fun in the world’ The Stones whispered to Grian, caressing their powers around him, to enthrall him into them even more.

“Just one more.” He echoed, and as he watched his reflection in the glass of the green team lounge he could see dark vein like symbols crawling up to his face. And looking up he could see his eyes quickly flash the color of all the stones he already held, and looking even further up the barely visible sight of a crown like thing over his head made out of the five stones he already had, with an obvious missing spot for the last one. 

Just one left until the gauntlet would be filled up.  

 REALITY

The button was red. The button was finally on red!

Grian gleefully bounced up the redstone build and pressed its stone button, smiling widely as the bar filled up once more before dispensing the red concrete block. As soon as the block hit his hands it turned into the red stone he’d been told of, the last one to the six piece puzzle on his hand. He held out his right hand before bringing the Reality stone to its resting place in the middle of the gauntlet.

As soon as the stone was in place he felt a power shock-wave make its way through his arm and up his body, almost like his veins were acting like cables to pump the Stones powers through his body.

‘Summon a mirror, wouldn’t you like to see yourself?’ Grian did want to see himself, so with quick instructions from the stones he summoned a mirror out of thin air. The face that met him was not the one from the start of the season. No, this face was lined with black veins that traveled down his body, his eyes changed color depending on from which angel he looked, and above his head now a full crown of only floating gems sat, all fully visible and pulsing with stored power. ‘Look at you Wielder, so powerful, so much more powerful than that Vex coward’

“Vex? Do you mean Cub or Scar?” Grian asked, eyes looking down at the stones as he let the mirror fade back into hot air. ‘Both, though Cub was the main man of the operation’ The stone hummed, though there was an underlying feeling of amusement to the words. ‘Tell me Wielder, how do you feel about showing him, and all the others, the power of us?’

“Let’s do it!” Grian grinned. And with just three little words the Grian of Hermitcraft was gone, instead replaced by Grian of the Stones. Same person, ones just free and the other trapped by the power of the Stones mind manipulation.      

INFINITY

Xisuma was just about to ask someone to go get Grian, seeing as how the dirty blond was late for a server meeting, when said Hermit walked through. The admin was about to greet him joyfully, but he then noticed how Grian looked and he was instantly on edge, sword drawn and held at the ready. Many others could see that something was wrong too, and they were one step ahead of their admin. 

Grian paid them little mind, crazed eyes instead focusing on Cub. “Cub! Just the man I was looking for!” Jevin stepped in front of Cub, sword held out protectively in front of them both. This made the builder chuckle darkly. “I’m afraid that won’t work, but A for a good attempt.”

His eyes then flashes blue before the pharaoh robed man was in front of him, in an instead Cub can easily see both the changes to his friends, and the final stone on the gauntlet. “No.”

Following his line of sight Grin grinned. “I’m afraid so.” He then held up the hand, making a show of flashing the stones in the others face. “Wonderful, right? I can’t see why ever denied something like this, Cub, it’s amazing! It feels like I hold the power of a hundred universes in my hand.”

“Grian, you have to get them off!” Scar cried, eyes wide as he finally noticed the stones over the builders head. “You can’t hold them!”

“Clearly I can!” Grian called, rolling his eyes at the wizard. “Plus, it’s not my fault you two were too cowardly to use them!”

Cub shook his head. “That’s not it! The stones are too powerful to be held by just one person alone, it’ll corrupt someone's mind!”

“Corrupt someone? Sure I got some new marks along with a crown, but how the hell is that me being corrupted?” Grian sneered, eyes flashing purple as he looked down at Cub. 

Before anyone could answer him he shook his head. “No matter, whatever you’ll say nothing will change.” ‘Well said Wielder. Now, show them what we have!’

Cub, seeing Grian’s eyes flash to red and stay red, barely managed to avoid the solid stone that now was where he’d just been. Grian growled before swiping at the bearded man with a fist and purple eyes, it was blocked and the sword which blocked his attack cracked slightly under the power of the impact. In a ditch effort to halt any major movements from Grian, Cub swung his axe at the dirty blonds legs, which the shorter didn’t manage to dodge. So with a cry he stumbled back, but not before firing a stone spear at his attacker.

He was about to swing again, but an arrow, which was then followed by two more, hit him and made him back up. Looking up with a snarl he saw the Hermits, all fully geared up and ready for battle, approche. 

“So this is how you want to play, huh? Fine let’s play.” Grian charged towards the group, and everytime he took a step one more of him apparead, until he reached them and over twenty of them surrounded the group.

Cub looked at the copies, trying to find the real one, when something touched his head. It took him a few seconds to realize it was Grian’s gauntlet that was touching him. He tried to whirl around and attack, but he was stopped by an unseen force.

“Now, now Cub-dear, no need for violence.” Grian cooed. Only, it wasn’t Grian, but instead the stones. “I’m just showing you what you missed out on so long ago.”

“Let him go.” Cub hissed, struggling in the stones mental grip. “Your beef is with me, not him! He’s innocent!”

“Not really. His past is as tainted as us, if not more!” The stones laughed, their grip on his hand tightening. “But that’s besides the point, he came to us, so we’re using that to our advantage. Pretty neat, huh?”

Cub caught Scar’s eyes, and subtly sent a silent message of “help” to him. After a nod answered him he focused back on his captor. “Neat is the last word I’d use, especially for this.” He glanced back over towards the fighting Hermits and noticed that Scar was not amongst them. And if the shifting of the earth under him he had a good feeling about it. “Now, please let me go.”

“Let you go? I’m afraid we can’t do thAAAAA!” The Stones screamed as a large plant slapped them away from Cub. Said Hermit brushed himself off before saying, “Should have let me go when I asked nicely.”

“You know, if I hadn’t stepped in you’d probably be a goner by now.” Scar commented as he walked up to his friends, keeping an eye on Stone-possessed-Grian. 

Cub had no chance to retort before their opponent was standing once again. The stones growled loudly before charging at the two, just as he swiped at them, he disappeared. Neither knew what had happened until they checked their communicators.

Grian has been banned

Everyone looked to where Xisuma was standing, unshed tears in his eyes as he held his admin screens up with shaking hands. “I’m so sorry.” He cracked out, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“But you did!” Scar argued. “We could have gotten the stones off! We could have saved him! But now he’s left to rot with the Stones slowly taking him over more and more!”

Their argument was broken up by the sky turning a deep purple, and soon a familiar, yet also so not, laugh echoed around them. “How cute! You thought you could banish us! Well guess what, you can’t!”

“NO!” Cub growled, his eyes glowing blue for the first time in such a long time, the air crawling with yell. “I will not allow you six to take him away from us! From me!”

The stones cooed at him, forming back at where they stood mid charge. “Aww, has the little bear finally figured out his feelings? How cute.”

“I have. You know what else I’ve figured out?” He asked, eyes narrowed as he looked at the controlled form of Grian.

“What?” The dirty blond asked, eyebrow raised at the taller man.

A sharp smirk spread along Cub’s face as an evil glint entered his eyes. “You can’t sense invisible people.”

It took the stones one second to many to realize what he meant, and the gauntlet on their hand was soon destroyed by Scar’s magic. The wizard winced, seeing as destroying the gauntlet meant crushing the arm, which meant crushing Grian’s arm. Thankfully he knew that it would just be severely broken and with minimal scarring after it had fully healed.

As soon as the gauntlet no longer had a thing to keep a connection through to Grian they lost their control over him, and due to the big amount of magical energie used the dirty blond fell unconscious. Cub rushed to the smaller Hermits side as Scar got one shulker for each of the stones.

“You're safe now.” Cub whispered, hand caresing Grian’s soft hair gently. “The stones are gone.” Xisuma came up to him and asked to look at Grian to make sure he was okay and rid of the stones, which he was on both accounts, if you ignore the broken arm and all of that. 

“But what about the markings? Shouldn’t they be gone?” Zedaph asked, seeing as he, along with all the other Hermits, were now gathered around their unconscious friend.

“It’s ancient magic.” Scar sighed, having put away the six stones safely. “They’ll fade like scars, but just like scar’s they’ll still be there.”

“Well who cares about a few markings?” Tango butted in, hands on his hips. “Marking or no markings, previously tried to attack us or nor, he’s still our friend! And we’ll help him as such!”

“I’m almost offended you think we wouldn’t help him.” Cleo said drilly. “Though I’m sure Cub over there will help him as more than that.” She added with a grin. 

The pharaoh dressed man flushed, but didn’t deny her words. Which got him some teasing from the others, but they were mostly just happy and relieved that the stones no longer held a hold on their friend.

INFINITESIMAL  

It was a long road of recovery for Grian, possession of any kind is never any fun, especially not when it involved hurting your friends. But with the help of everyone around him, Cub more so than others, he was doing okay. He was by no means good, god knows this was something that he’d never forget, but he was better. And as time went on, he was sure to get better and better until he was good again. And he’d do this with the support and help of those around him. Their Hermits after all, help and support is something they're all good at. 

So yeah, Grian wasn’t good. But he was getting better, and that’s the important thing.

#hermitship #hermitshipping #grian #cubfan135 #grub #grian x cub #magical stones that talk are dangerous people #don't be like grian #don't trust them

[wildflowerscript]

finding myself

i tried to find myself today

or the person i had been

i havent seen that person

since i dont remember when

i tried to sit and write today 

to ease whats on my mind

i dont have feelings of my own

so words are hard to find

i wanted to go out today

for the feeling of the sun

i was afraid if i started out the door

id have the urge to run

i tried to find my voice today

but when i tried i couldnt speak

i thought about the strength it takes

and remembered i am weak

i tried to change my life today

something minor can be grand

but whats the point in changing me 

when no one understands

i wanted to become someone

who could do amazing things

i dont have the courage it takes

to do those sorts of things

so instead i sat and thought today

about who i used to be

and realized i never was

a truly authentic me 

i was always a version of myself

made by his design

he made me out to be a girl

who would never shine

he made me out to be the girl

who was fragile and small

i was always on the ledge 

but hes what made me fall

i think about it now and again

how he changed who i am

it all started when he changed my name 

the first time he called me sam

it was such a simple change

not much difference at all

but that one tiny little change

can still make my skin crawl

he took the name i was given

and conformed it to his own

i writhe in the pain that lingers

from the seed that he had sown

he took the very thing from me 

that was my birth given right

he stole the thing that made me me

and its why i dont seem right

i dont who i am anymore

i only know his touch

the hand that haunts me day and night

the crippling aching clutch

i hate the way my skin feels

i hate the color of it and all

all the things he attracted to 

all the pleasure that he saw

i hate the way people look

like they see whats underneath

hes the reason i cant stand crowds

the reason its hard to breathe

i cant sleep most nights anymore

i cant relax or unwind

the only thing i can manage to do

is lie and say im fine

does no one know the pain i feel

do i hid it all that well

the tears that drowned me everyday

how can no on tell

i cant fault them for their blindness

i wear a smile and laugh

if only they really knew

i was about to crack

crack into a million pieces 

and lie there on the ground

life can go on around me

ill be content in the sound

the sound of laughs and joy and peace

the sound freedom and love

maybe ill just drift away

lost in the sound from up above

maybe things wont be so bad

looking from a different view

maybe i can hurt less

maybe thats the thing to do

maybe life isnt meant to last

maybe it isnt fun

or maybe i should open that door

and run and run and run

maybe i should sit and write

and make myself say words

maybe its time i scream with my voice

to make sure i am heard

im gonna try and find myself again

because one thing still remains

he may have taken something from me

but i still know my name

#poetry #new writers society #writers on tumblr #finding my peace #finding my voice

[unravelling-the-world]

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

[astranne]

ROYAL - Bruce Wayne

I've never seen a diamond in the flesh 

I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies 

And I'm not proud of my address, in the torn up town

No post code envy

I looked up. My gaze caught every little detail. The beautiful but fake-looking women, the handsome men, smoking expensive cigars and talking about money and their big houses. Houses like the Wayne Manor. I felt the glances of the rich men trying to undress me with their mere eyes. But it didn't really bother me, I always liked the attention of men. I always loved the way how I affected men. But this was different. They had women by their side and fucked me with their eyes.

Slowly, I made my way upstairs. My long, black coat hid my dress. Everyone wore pastel colors, it was the dress code after all. The butler of the family Wayne smiled pleasantly and nodded in my direction.

„Miss Jackson, it's a pleasure to see you at the gala. May I have your coat?"

„Alfred, please, call me Lara. You've known me for many years."

„Indeed, Lara." I smiled and took off my coat. Alfred raised an eyebrow at my dress but didn't say a thing.

„You look like your mother, Lara. She would be very proud of you."

„Thank you, Alfred. But I couldn't have done it without you." He reached his arm to me, I smiled and took it.

„I'm afraid, but Master Bruce wouldn't approve that," he made reference to the dress. It was scandalous. Scandalous red.

„Well Alfred, you should know, I don't care about the opinion of a rich man. I never did."

„I know, dear. I know." Our way led us to the big saloon, full of laughter and rich people. It wasn't my world, it will never be and still, I'm here.

But every song's like gold teeth, 

Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom 

Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room 

We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams 

But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash 

We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

I inspected every woman and every man. There were models, actors, politicians, businessmen... rich people. Before I could do my way to a waiter serving the champagne, a young man stopped next to me. Another followed him and flashed a flirtatious smile towards me. Both had black hair, blue eyes and were muscular. They were handsome men. But too young for me.

„Good evening, my lady. You look beautiful." The one with the longer hair took my hand and kissed it.

„I must say, red fits you well, beautiful lady. May I know your name?"

„Lara Jackson. With whom do I have the pleasure?" Before any of them could answer, a little boy stepped between us, he looked like ten, but his hard look didn't belong to a child.

„Grayson, Todd. If I find this woman in anyone's room tonight, I will kill you. We don’t have time for this."

„What do you want, demon spawn?" The child huffed and crossed his arms.

„Father wants to speak with you. Both of you." Both rolled their eyes.

„I'm sorry, beautiful lady. The old man can’t have a fun night. We will see us again." The one with the white streak in his black hair kissed my cheek, the other my hand.

„Idiots. Please forgive my brothers, they don't have any respect for a good looking lady."

„It's okay. And thank you."

„You're familiar", he noticed. I just raised an eyebrow. This child was odd. Just like his father.

„Well, I know your father, Damian." His head shoots up and he frowned.

„How do you know me? Or him?"

„It was many years ago, but your father and I had a great friendship. One day he went missing and the day he came back, he wasn't the same anymore. Still, I stayed in contact with Alfred, he was a great friend and like a father to me."

„Why did my father abandon you?"

„I'm not rich." He looked confused but didn’t say anything.

„He never said something about you. Why not?"

„Again Damian. I'm not rich. I will never be like these models or actresses. I'm just a simple girl, that lived alone with her mother. It was a coincidence, that your father and I met."

And we'll never be royals 

It don't run in our blood 

That kind of lux just ain't for us 

We crave a different kind of buzz

„Then why are you here, Jackson?"

„I wanted to see Alfred. I wanted to see the house since it was my second home. And for the last time, I wanted to feel the atmosphere at a gala."

„It sounds like a goodbye. Why? What did my father do that you are such full of hate?" I looked surprised at him.

„How?", I just asked.

„I know that look. You don't hate my father, you hate that rich life, you hate his behavior. I'm also like this. I hate my mother, well, if you can call her a mother. And I hate my stupid brothers, who get more attention from my father then I do. I know they spend more time with him and know him better, but it’s..."

„Frustrating", I finished his sentence.

„I like you." I smiled and sipped at my champagne.

„Well Damian, I like you too."

„More than your brothers." He smiled smugly and I snorted silently.

Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B 

And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule) 

Let me live that fantasy

„If you see them, could you clarify for me, that I'm definitely not interested? They are too young. Goodlooking, but too young."

„With pleasure, Lara."

I stayed the whole evening with Damian. He was a cute child, but he would never allow anyone to say that out loud. And he looked like his father. Well, almost. His eyes were green, they must be from his mother. But I didn't ask since he made clear, that his mother was a forbidden topic.

After that evening, I spent the night with Oliver Queen. We were both drunk and afterward, I found out that he had a girlfriend. So I did the one most logical thing, I ran away and swore, I will never be just a woman for a night. These times are now past, I want to be someone special, someone, that my mother can be proud of. So I began to search for my father. I never knew or saw him. But I wanted to find him.

My friends and I we've cracked the code 

We count our dollars on the train to the party 

And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this 

We didn't come from money

After months of searching and traveling around the world, I found him. Well, he found me. He didn't know he had a daughter. My mother never told him about me. But he didn't abandon me like other people. He gave me a new home, a new task. He gave me a new family. I began to train, train to defend myself, train to defend others, train to kill. Especially rich people who were assholes. I just followed my father's footsteps. You may ask now, who my father is. Im a Wilson now. My father is called Slade Wilson but feared as Deathstroke.

I was educated by the League of the Shadows also called the League of Assassins. Ra's al Guhl himself trained me and let me fight against his daughter, who is the mother of Damian. Talia al Guhl, or whatever they call her. I hate her. I hate her for manipulating Bruce and abandon her son. I hate her for her behavior, I just hate her presence. And everybody knows that. Because I almost killed her. Well, I killed her, but she was brought back with the Lazarus Pit. My father was really proud of me since nobody can stand her. I mean, she is a fucking bitch, she betrayed the League just for a son of Batman. And did so many other awful things. But that's not my problem anymore. Ra's send me to protect his grandson, the heritage of the League. The fact, Damian liked me, made my job so much easier. But I had no idea, how to become one of the Wayne family members. So we built a plan. My father as Deathstroke, would try to kill Robin and Batman, and I would save them both. After all the planning, it worked perfectly.

„Who are you?"

„Your pseud, deep voice doesnt scare me, Batman. You've just could thank me."

„Lara?"

„Hello, Damian. Its nice to see you again"

„I thought you would never come back to Gotham." I fake sighed and crossed my arms.

„Well... I was all around the world. I met your mother and I must say, she is a bitch. Sadly she survived our meeting." Batman huffed.

„And how did you know about the whole hero thing?"

„Talia is a really shitty secret keeper. She told me all about it, in the hope, I would show some mercy. Its nice to see you, Bruce."

„Who are you?"

„Its a shame, you dont recognize me, Brucie." I took my black hood off, also my mask, that hid the lower half of my face. I could feel the confusion of my childhood crush.

„Lara Jackson?"

„What a welcome." I was surprised after he hugged me. Awkwardly, I tapped his back.

„Im so sorry." That was easier than I thought.

„It’s okay, Brucie. It’s okay." Damian coughed and crossed his arms.

„Umm... can I have a bed for tonight?", I asked silently.

„You can have a bed as long as you want, Lara."

„Thank you, Bruce."

„Lets go home." He jumped off the roof, Damian followed him. I turned around and saw my father in the shadows. With a smirk, I followed the Waynes.

But every song's like gold teeth, 

Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom 

Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room 

We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams 

But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash 

We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

I was now a month at Wayne Manor. Bruce acted a little bit strange but I didn't mind. But what I minded was his big family. He has five sons and two daughters and other family members. They didn't trust me. Richard and Jason always flirted with me, the other women in the house hated me for that. Until one day.

„Hey, beautiful. What are you doin’?" I just rose an eyebrow, a move I would do every day.

„Do you have eyes, Jason?"

„Yes, why?"

„Well, then you can see, I’m reading." He sat aside me and wiggled his eyebrows.

„Mind, if I take this book and we do something?" I tried to ignore him.

„Darlin', I know you would take me. Don't act so heartless even though its hot as fuck." And then I had enough.

„Okay, listen, Jason. I'm not interested to fuck you or Richard. I'm so much older than you, I could be your fucking mother! And if you don't stop, I’m gonna kick your fucking ass so hard, that the pit wont help you come back to life! So shut the fuck up and just let me live my fucking life! Without you or Richard or any playboy." He just blinked.

„How old are you?", he asked bluntly. I slapped him with the book. Jason yelled and ran away from the couch.

„Jason Peter Todd! Come back, you fucking asshole! I'm going to fucking killing you, you dipshit! You don't ask a woman about her age! COME BACK!" I ran after him, passing next to Richard and Tim.

„Jason!", I yelled. „Come back, you motherfucking bastard!" He sprinted downwards, trying to escape. With the speed I had gained, I jumped down and rolled off.

„What the fuck! That woman! Help! Anyone!"

„Shut up!" I tackled him down and began to punch him. Blood spattered out of his nose, ruining the expensive carpet.

„What the fuck?! Lara? Jason?" Dick tried to separate us but he also collected a punch in his nose.

„Don't touch me, you pervert!" Jason managed to escape out of my hold and we began to fight, Richard joined, after I kicked him in his stomach.

„Bruce? Alfred? Anyone? Lara is going crazy!", Tim shouted. He was smart enough to stay out of our fight. I swiped the blood out of my face, not knowing to whom it belonged.

„Still imagining how to fuck me?" Both men grunted, trying to punch me, which I easily caught. My hands gripped Richard's shoulders and I let his nose met my head. He groaned and held his nose, trying to kick me.

„Enough!" I heard Bruce's voice and stepped a little back. Jason didn't stop and punched right in my jaw. I growled and rushed forward, my legs slung around his neck, and threw him on the ground.

„Lara! Enough!" It took Bruce, Tim, and Alfred to keep me away from the second oldest.

And we'll never be royals It don't run in our blood That kind of lux just ain't for us We crave a different kind of buzz

Bruce himself stitched me up, doesn't allow anyone to come too near towards me. He forbid everyone, even Alfred, to come to the Batcave.

„Why?", he just asked. I huffed and crossed my arms.

„Why? Both were flirting with me! Its disgusting! I could be their fucking mother!"

„They are kids, Lara", he sighed and sat across me. I rolled my eyes.

„Kids don’t fight the Joker, Bruce." It was silent, we just sat there.

„Why are you like this?"

„What do you mean?" I frowned.

„You're cold. Towards me. I have the feeling, you only like Alfred and Damian", he almost whispered. I swallowed and tried to avoid his gaze.

„Bruce, I...I had a hard childhood. I just had my mother and you. You were my best friend, my first love. And when my mother passed, I was alone. I know, you were there for me, but not like the way I wanted. I changed Bruce, I'm not the glamorous girl anymore."

„Why you didn't say anything?"

„You were Bruce Wayne, the son of millionaires, the heritage of Wayne Enterprises. I was madly in love with you, I never said something because I was so scared. Scared, that you wouldnt love me back, scared you would see me just like as a friend. So I started to date other boys, boys who gave me attention in a way, who filled the gap my mother left. It was like a drug. I loved the way I affected every man. They gave me love, physically." At the end of my speech, I'd met Bruces eyes. They were soft and full of love.

„Im so sorry, Lara. I never- If I ever would know that...Do you remember your first boyfriend?" He didn't wait for an answer.

„I was so jealous and I saw you at his side it made me clear, you weren't the little girl anymore, who I met at my parents funeral. In my eyes, you were a grown, beautiful and independent woman. That day I realized, I loved you from the first day and still do." My eyes grew big. How?

„You still love me?", I whispered.

„I do." I almost melted at these words. My fucking childhood crush, my first love, loves me. He smiled and leaned towards me. Our noses touched, my eyes fluttered. He stopped, obviously waiting for me. I sighed when our lips finally met. We kissed slowly, without any tongue. It was a romantic kiss, heck, he would top every Hollywood movie. We parted, his lips brushed against mine. Bruce cupped my face with his hands and kissed me again. Roughly. A light moan escaped my lips, my hands tugged his black hair. He groaned deeply and heat rushed downwards all around my body. His arms pulled me nearer to him. Slowly, while kissing him, I climbed on his lap. But before it could go any farther, Alfred cleared his throat. I blushed and tried to hide my face in Bruce's neck while he just chuckled.

Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B 

And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule)

Let me live that fantasy

Everything was perfect. As perfect as it could be in such a chaotic family. Since I beat up Jason and Richard, everyone tries to not piss me off. I warmed up to the girls and also Tim. Everything was perfect until Talia showed up. She and some traitors of the league managed to break into the Manor and tied the whole Wayne Family up.

„Hello, Lara. Its nice to see you again." A mad smile graced her face. I didn't respond and gripped the handle of my sword harder.

„Why are you here, Talia?"

„Oh I don’t know, maybe to kill you?" I rolled my eyes.

„Besides that." She grinned widely at me.

„I want my son back."

„No." She frowned, the Waynes behind me began to protest.

„No? Who do you think you are? I’m the mother of him!"

„Well, I don't care who you are Talia. You're a traitor and I don't listen to traitors."

„Wilson", she growled.

„Al Guhl."

„My son."

„No."

„I want my son! And I will kill you to get him!"

„Try me, bitch. I killed you once and I will do it again."

„Why are you here?", she asked out of nowhere.

„Classified."

„Really, Wilson?"

„Why is mother naming her Wilson?", whispered Damian to his father. Before Bruce could answer, Talia rushed with a war cry forward raising her sword. I easily dodged, spinning around and kicking her in her stomach.

„You have a deathwish, Al Guhl. Stop it and I will let you go."

„Never, Wilson", she spat and rammed her sword in my leg. I gritted my teeth but fought on. I felt, how my wound slowly stopped bleeding until it closed completely. But the pain was still there.

„How-?", she stuttered.

„You should've known, dear Talia. The reason, why Im a better fighter than you, the reason, why I could kill you. All because of my fathers powers."

„Your father has powers? But he is no metahuman."

„Who said he is a mutant? He's an experiment, he's an improved human. So am I."

„That's why you could learn so fast to fight", she realized.

„Yes. And now, get out of here, or I kill you and your friends."

We're bigger than we ever dreamed, and I'm in love with being queen (Ooh ooh oh) 

Life is great without a care 

We aren't caught up in your love affair

„Who is your father, Lara?" I sighed at Damian's question.

„Does it really matter right now?"

„Hell yes it does!", shouted Jason. „I want some awesome powers too!" I rolled my eyes.

„I never knew my father, Bruce knows that. And my mother never told him, that she was pregnant. After I met Damian, I began to search for my father. Without any results. Then, he found me. He's a member of the league of the assassins, so he brought me there and I was trained."

„You didn't answer Damians question”, Bruce noticed. I sighed again and shouldered my backpack.

„Because I knew, you all wouldn't like it. Damian, your grandfather send me to protect you. My job is done, I will go back to Nanda Parbat."

„What?"

„No!", they cried out.

„Why? I thought you-", I interrupted Bruce.

„Bruce, I love you. I really do. But I know, when you learn, who my father is, you will abandon me. So I better go by myself."

„Wait, what? Are you and Bruce a thing?" Jason's eyes switched between us.

„We were."

And we'll never be royals 

It don't run in our blood 

That kind of lux just ain't for us 

We crave a different kind of buzz 

Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B 

And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule) 

---

Masterlist

This was my first oneshot in english, I hope you like it. You can also find it on Wattpad, there I have the same username like on Tumblr. 

I’m aware, that not everything I wrote matches with the personalities of the batfam, I have more knowledge of the MCU and MARVEL. And if something is wrong with my english (my first language is german) please tell me. :) 

#bruce wayne #batman #slade wilson #deathstroke #batfam #gotham #talia al ghul #league of assassins #bruce wayne is not so bright #damian wayne must be protected #world's greatest detective my ass #royal #lorde #songfic #justhugefangirl creates {🌹} #justhugefangirl writes {🥀} #oneshot #tw: blood #tw: bad writing

[unordinary-analysis]

EPISODE 164

Honorable mentions:

Idea: Arlo becomes a fake joker. Idk if he does it either to take down john or just try to use the authority to fix the school, but im entertained by the idea lmao

I miss Cecile but that’s just a given. I miss her even when she’s in the actual episode lol

Technically Arlo’s not the king anymore but everyone’s still terrified of him and I live for that

Arlo and Rei’s ‘I always have a reason’ parallels are great but that just be my love for parallels talking im not sure yet

Not gonna talk about Blyke again until we see him next because apparently you guys very much disagreed with what i said about what he was going to do in my last episode thing so- I want more information to do off of, but honestly, im still kind of sticking to what I originally thought. Blyke getting enhancement drugs, it makes sense you guys are just mean isudhgfusjhgf

Back on that ‘anyways is my favorite word’ agenda

Colors are nice

The last section isn’t very professional but thats just because i was freaking out about the last scene and it very much shows im just so excited guys

This episode, episode 164, marks the 50th episode since I started writing these, so that’s fun.

Also: this is over a week late, I know, but until i post this, know that i haven’t read any episodes after this episode (ep 164). A lot of times when I am late with these I either forget (it’s constant and often and becoming an issue) or im doing something else that’s creative related that i feel the same obligation to do as the obligation to do this (? Making sense? Not sure), and school.so that’s why this is late oops

Ignore that its not important im just sorry this is late

Anyway, here’s the analysis/commentary/review (? Still confused about this) for episode 164

Also half of this is not proofread because theres a chance if i do that ill get even more writers block even though that technically shouldn’t happen but it does and i just want this out so sorry if some sentences completely cut off or i just don’t talk about something because oops is it worth it at this point

Fake Jokers:

Starting with this because, hey, chronological order. In the beginning of this episode Arlo is approaching a group of students gathered around a piece of paper stuck onto the bulletin board saying that there are fake jokers running around. One of the bystanders is seen saying, “I wouldn’t mind being Joker for a day.” This isn’t very concerning by itself because we already know that people are already doing this, but I just want to point out that the reporter who tried to publish the story about the fake Jokers argued that they should because the students needed to be warned against the fake jokers. What the bystander in this episode tells us is that this reporter was wrong and Isen was in fact right (we been knew but).

Something bigger that I want to bring up is that now because lots of students have been exposed to the idea of faking being Joker, more and more are obviously going to be doing it, which I kind of already just said, but the consequences of such a thing are what intrigue me. If the school is suddenly filled with fake jokers and students are already aware that the majority of the jokers are fake, the Joker mantle is going to lose its significance. No student would take any joker seriously, even if it happened to be the real one.

The thing about that is that the real Joker, John, won’t be able to use his authority as well anymore. If nobody recognizes Joker as the king anymore (what with so many low-tiers also wearing the mask), they’re not going to listen to him. It basically means that John wouldn’t be king anymore. And, though I’m still confused on if John even really wants to be king, if he wanted to be, if he wanted that authority, he would have to find a better way to present himself. It means that John would either have to figure out a way to separate himself from the other jokers (I don’t really know) or reveal his identity to the whole school. This would be something huge, especially because, to John’s knowledge, Sera doesn’t even know who he is yet. But who knows, by the time the decision rolls around or things escalate enough, he might have figured out what she knows.

Another interesting idea is that John would take advantage of this situation to let himself be lost among the fake jokers and disappear, leaving the school without a king anymore and also in chaos, because honestly who. Knows. What the fuck. He wants. Not me.

I do think, however, that John will stay as king. Because every once in a while he’ll make some comment suggesting that, and in one of the recent episodes, he got pissed that someone was impersonating him and if wants to blend in again and not be recognized for his power, I doubt he would act like that.

Isen/Arlo confrontation:

So, in this episode we get Isen yelling at Arlo, which you love to see, and I’m here to talk about it yay.

Isen, at the beginning of the scene, is very nervous and scared of what Arlo would do when he comes, which is very understandable. That dude is scary but anyways, once Arlo does show up and starts yelling, which was exactly what Isen was afraid of, instead of letting himself retreat into his fear, Isen argues back at Arlo, which to be fair probably wasn’t an active decision, supported by how he acts after he yells at Arlo. Isen just blurts out what’s in his head and it’s pretty eye-opening. Isen yells that he never wanted to be given any of the responsibilities given to him by Arlo. He specifically talks about his role as head of the newspaper, but he says later in a much more general way that Arlo forces people into responsibilities that they either don’t want or aren’t ready for. This makes me think back to the beginning of the comic when Arlo made Isen dig up information on John. Isen acted pretty scared and squirrelly once he found out something he knew Arlo wouldn’t want to hear, and that behavior is very much repeated in this episode. Anyway, back to what’s happening currently. Isen defends himself against Arlo saying that Arlo’s accusations weren’t even fair because Isen tried to do the best he could to stop the news of the fake jokers from getting out. Also, it really doesn’t make sense to be blaming Isen for someone else leaking the information (without him knowing) and posting it on a public board (not even affiliated with the school newspaper). What happened is not a result of Isen’s bad leadership, or at least that what Isen tries to argue. Arlo has some other ideas on that subject though. Arlo thinks that if Isen were a better leader, the other students would just listen to him and not go behind his back to publish the information, which I have some thoughts on.

First of all, the fact that Arlo thinks this is the bare minimum for leadership speaks a lot about him. Arlo was the last king of Wellston, which means he was a leader, and he doesn’t think he was a bad one. I think Arlo thought he was a really great leader, because he was to be honest. He fixed the mess that Rei made and kept the students under control. Anyway, Arlo thinking that people follow good leaders with this blind loyalty and trust means that that was the case under his leadership. I just want to say that this probably means that Arlo thinks John is a shit leader, but we been knew. But who knows, John might have that kind of leadership and it would be for the same reason that I think Arlo did: power. Arlo is obviously one of the most powerful people at Wellston. Even more so than his title of king, and probably even his leadership skills, there is no doubt that the reason so many people followed him was this, especially considering the type of society UnOrdinary was. John, as Joker, has lots of authority and power among the Wellston students, which we talked about in the first section, and no one can doubt that it’s because of one thing: his power. People follow powerful people, it’s the way of the world, it’s how hierarchy works. But what I want to point out in relation to this episode is that Arlo seems to pushing this expectation of “leadership” onto Isen. Arlo is undoubtedly a fantastic leader, but as I keep. Repeating. His power plays a huge part in the respect given to him. Isen, though definitely more powerful than some, doesn’t exactly have that power. Not to the extent that Arlo or John has at least. And because of this, obviously, doing what Arlo and John are doing won’t work in the same way for Isen because it’s not enough. He doesn’t have that power backing him up, which is why Arlo’s expectations are unreasonable for him, which is why Isen keeps saying that he can’t do it and it understanding this is why Arlo keeps saying that Isen can. The line, “we’re not all as capable as you are!” From Isen really emphasizes this, though it probably was misunderstood by Arlo as, ‘we’re not as good leaders are you are,’ which might also be true, but that’s not what Isen’s trying to communicate.

Now that I’ve talked about that, there’s something else in this scene that catches attention. After Isen’s outburst at him, Arlo thinks about what he said and firstly, agrees with Isen that he really does set high expectations for people, but secondly, he says that, “it’s never without a reason…” Now, this stood out over Isen’s argument when I first read the episode because of how blunt the statement is. It surprised me in a kind of way. Arlo telling himself that he always has a reason for setting high expectations of people. I was especially intrigued by the pairing of that statement with Arlo’s mental image of John. If Arlo truly feels that he had a reason for believing in John, what was it? I know that he wanted John to accept his responsibilities as a high-tier, but that’s not what Arlo is saying in this episode. He’s saying there’s a reason that he gives people responsibility. Does Arlo have some specific reason for wanting John to have authority? Does it go past that drive inside of Arlo that tells him that people need to be put into their places just because. I wouldn’t really be thinking much about this at all (especially considering that it it very in character for Arlo to make John resume his place purely to secure them hierarchy) if it wasn’t for the fact that only John’s face showed up in between the lines, “I do set high expectations for others,” and, “But it’s never without a reason…” the placement automatically makes me assume that it was chosen for a reason. But who knows, that might just have been a way to remind the reader that Arlo is constantly being reminded of what happened between him and John and how it affected everything.

Anyway, these lines also have me thinking about Arlo’s recent turmoil with himself about John and the part Arlo played in the whole Joker situation. We know that Arlo has been blaming himself for this for a while now because without his interference, John would never have decided to dethrone him and all of the other royals, or at least not to the extent that he did. But in this episode, seeing Arlo talk about how everything he does has a reason and especially those later panels after Arlo leaves the room showing him when he was younger, it’s starting to make me think that Arlo is changing his way of thinking.

“But it’s never without a reason” He swings wildly from agreeing with his past decisions and disagreeing with them, but maybe because this is the most recent, he’s finally realized that he hasn’t been the one in the wrong this whole time. I’m not exactly sure and I don’t want to assume based completely off of one scene, but I really am hoping for some development in this way for Arlo because a. I love him and b. More hatred centered around John, which would mean more drama and I love that. Not much more to say about this

The Talk (wink wink):

I hate what i called this section because i thought of it at like 4am but i dont know what else to call it so- anyways the biggest thing that happened this episode has to be when Arlo and Seraphina met up to talk because if you read my posts, you know that I’ve been begging for this for a while and can I say, im hyped.

First, I want to start with something small, but something that is bothering me. Seraphina seems so pissed at Arlo doing this whole scene, and for what? Honestly, I hope im not biased or anything because I absolutely love Arlo, but he really hasn’t done much wrong in this whole joker situation. The only rational reason I can think of for Sera being pissed at him is because of the whole Arlo fighting john in that clearing like a long fucking time ago. Which, you know, I understand, but at the same time, recently, Arlo has obviously been trying to only help you and tell you the truth, you were the one who was being difficult. I honestly think that she’s just in this state of pissed off because of John, but i don’t know. I hope I’m not forgetting any shit because if im being honest, i don’t pay as much attention to her storyline as I should, especially recently, because i do not care that much for her character, at least not as much as the others. So yeah. R.I.P. that. I don’t know. This isn’t important i think im just very Arlo biased sorry bout that.

OKAY FIRST OF ALL THEIR CONVERSATION STARTING WITH ARLO REMINISCING WITH SERAPHINA ABOUT WHEN THEY WERE THE KING AND QUEEN OF WELLSTON IS ACTUALLY BASICALLY EXACTRLY HOW IVE WRITTEN WHAT I WANT THEIR FRIENDSHIP TO BECOME AFTER THIS AND I WISH THEY TALKED MORE ABOUT THAT ASPECT BECAYSE i would actually die for Arlo and sera to realize that the only thing that kept them apart was not realizing how much they had in fucking common and in reality they were the two people who understood each other the most and i know i sound very confusing because i just talked about how i love Arlo and how i dont love sera all that much but that is beside. The. Point.

Anyway, Arlo talks about how successful their leadership was (back to that common motif of leadership that Arlo just seems to carry around) and how now that that’s changed, the school’s whole vibe has been horribly threw off and shit is happening and he has no clue how to fix it ( I am so sorry for my god awful gen z vocabulary I realize these posts become just completely cheapened because of that but i dont know how else to communicate sorry bout that). Anyway, this struck me as a weird way to start this conversation because Arlo hadn’t reached out to sera before this to talk about john (after she found out about him at least) and it seems to me that he would want to talk to her about that, but the disarming way that Arlo starts talking took me off guard. I’m not really sure about why yet or what I want to say about that,but that confused me.

Anyway, it doesn’t really matter because sera brings up john herself and directs that conversation where we knew it would go, but at the same time she starts talking about feelings too and this is just so weird because Arlo and sera both are characters who we’re not used to really seeing talk about their feelings and stuff. I think that this has changed though recently for both of them because of the stuff they’ve been through and im here for it, but anyways, i should really talk about the actual contents of their conversation hold up.

But the thing fucking is.

I have to wait for the next episode to fucking get the actual content of their conversation ikfuhefhbejkfhieuhfgieughfnierugniejnrgkjergnkejgnieknjgvkdlnv. *upset noises*

#unordinary #uno #webtoon #unordinary webtoon #official #episode 164 #happy 50th one of these me #sorry its hella late

[shadowofmoths]

fuck it, all the evens for the quarantine ask, there are no rules anymore

NO RULES NO RULES NO RULES!! putting this under a cut to spare yall lmao

2. Grilled cheese or PB&J?

GRILLCHEESE. i have recently developed an idealogical opposition to peanut butter but also have you ever been awake at like Too Late and ur jus vibing and u make a grilled cheese and have ur midnight grillcheese? fucking MAGICAL. avery and i all the time when it is Too Late will be like “i want something. what do i want what is it GRILLCHEESE” and then we grill a cheese.

4. Your go-to bar order, if you drink?

i dont drink ! but i do love to have fancy, nonalcoholic drinks....no go-to bar order tho rip 

6. Top three cuisines?

i like...italian food, ofc, as anyone who knows my last name would probably guess, but also my top fav is like mediterranean & middle eastern food ? like fuck man what i would not do in life for a good gyro 

8. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?

i have not, uh, strictly had jobs, as such, but uh a fun fact abt me is that i did Literally Every Possible Volunteer Position at my church i think lkjhgfhfhs. 

10. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?

answered!

12. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?

OK SO. there is this place near my mom’s college that i think might just literally be called the bagel place and they have a kind of bagel named after their school mascot which is just. bagel, and then you toast it, adn put cream cheese on each half, and then you put some regular cheese on the top of it and put it in a broiler and melt the cheese and its SO GOOD and thats my ideal bagel. 

14. Favorite mug you own

THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION. sofia gave me a yellow mug and its little and v round and decorated w flowers and its SO GOOD and its my fav. i also have a black skull mug and a haunted mansion mug that i LOVe adn theyre all in MARYLAND STILL HELP. i miss them. 

16. Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)

it took a concerted effort here not to choose something from next to normal which tells you how intensely GOING THRU IT i am. there’s a song called “better in the morning” by birdtalker that my spotify discover weekly hit me w during a late night breakdown that sort of encapsulates my “this fuckin SUCKS bro but we’re gonna keep goin tho” vibe.

18. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?

SHAME OVER INTERESTS IS BORING. ITS 2020. SOMETIMES I WATCH OLD EPISODES OF SHAKE IT UP WITH MY SISTERS. no but my real answer is....i really genuinely unironically love high school musical the musical the series. is it good? not, like, really! but i love it. its probably made me tear up. but im not embarrassed abt it lmao 20. Do you match your socks?

answered!22. What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)

JKHGSDAF my phase was “Undiagnosed ADHD” so it was , All The Phases really but no it was star wars for sure. but star wars wasnt a PHASE mom thats who i AMMMM 

24. What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?

i...no opinion? they’re..fine? 

26. You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?

ok theres a local like, dairy farm that makes a FUCKING MAGICAL watermelon lemonade in the summer and i would do anything to have that shit year round 28. What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?

knitting! embroidery! uhhhh time management when ur trapped and have adhd! other assorted mental health strategies, like “how to explain to ur teachers that u need help bc ur brain is just Chaotic and also the WORLD IS ENDING, catriona, PLEASE no more essays.” 30. Where could someone find you in a museum?

depends on the museum! but ur best bet is “genuinely crying over van goghs” or otherwise having Very Big Emotions over someone like monet or agnes martin

32. Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?

ALL OF THESE. probably sunset clouds but also i cannot TELL you how much i miss stars when im out in MD being a Big City Boy.

34. Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?

art! altho im thinking of disassembling the Art Wall™ and doing smth else bc its gotten a little chaotic in here lately 

36. Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with

ok, like, define sidekick! which of the young avengers are “sidekicks” if its just a group of gay friends doing universe-saving together?? would you relegate billy kaplan to “sidekick” status? sidekick to WHOM? anyway the answer is teddy altman. 

38. Favorite mid-2000s song

answered!

40. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?

the couch corner is MINE, babey!! (8 ppl in ur house does mean a big L shaped couch is relatively necessary.) altho recently ive developed a habit of whenever i see someone sitting in a spot i decide that is now My Spot. the person already there doesnt have to move! but i will also be sitting there now thank you. no, im not craving physical affection, why do you ask? 

42. A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving

i dont think i expected to Fall In Love with carly rae jepsen, i dont think ! but her power.....wow. 

44. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?

quote that relates to the photos, usually! with maybe a little explanation. most of the photos i post are arts so it’ll be like “this is carrion hes a bitch i love him” etc 

46. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?

i dont think...anything in the freezer in my apartment is mine? i think ive got some ben and jerry’s phish food in there tho which is DEFINITELY bad by now, FUCK, but also toaster waffles, conceptually, would be my answer. 

48. Do you like Jello?

yes ! it is . Fun To Eat. 

50. How are you at climbing trees?

pretty bad, bc coordination is a no and im afraid of heights, but i sure do love to try ! and then get too scared! 

#LOVE U COLA #asks #queen-eevee