#not well in the first half but got better because peer pressure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wlfpet · 1 year

Text

(Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader)

— PAPI BONES

A/N: Hi, this is the formerly scrapped, 3x longer, 2 months writing project that I had because I wanted to fuck abby in a closet! this was actually supposed to be my first post on tumblr, but i got mad at it and sent it to the dungeon for two months :/ but yall wanted it, so I'm super happy i got to finish it, even though it took multiple days and cups of coffee to power through. sorry for the wait, hope you fuck wit her.

content tags (can you tell i don't want to write anymore ;w;): college au, childish antics at a big age, drinking, cool, ellie and dina are in this! kind of abstract sexual descriptions, assplay, cunnilingus (r!receiving), boob... touching? small mention of drugs because dealer!ellie, drunk sex, enthusiastic consent! :D, reader is kind of annoying sorry, men being assholes, reader catching feelings for a girl she fucked once, real.

wc: 7.6k ;w; (send help)

proofread?; barely.

tl : @clearheartgreyflowers, @oatmilkchaii, @ghostfacebunny, @ellsbclls (thank you to the sweetest deb @ellsbclls for helping beta read this, i appreciate your suggestions and encouragement and this would probably have been scrapped TWICE without your help ;w; )

synopsis: your best friend dina drags you to a college frat party. you hate shit like this, and you're painfully shy but when she does those puppy dog eyes you can't say no, so in a cruel twist of fate you end up in the closet with abby Anderson, and lose your virginity. yay college! (apart of the 'jackson university' thematic!)

Your idea of a Saturday night well spent wasn’t squeezing through a sea of sweaty backs; but like many things in your life, it wasn’t up to you, because you were easily swayed. Everything was overstimulating, the waves of bodies on bodies that pulsated and threw you between different poses and balances to keep on your feet, the ringing of laughter, of music, of every sound echoing in your head, around your body, vibrating through your very core. The smell of liquor and drunken antics and that one guy puking in the corner made you sick. But somehow, you were here, spurred on by peer pressure friendship and goodwill, trudging through the blackened room to your target; the snack table.

Dina, your roommate, and determinant best friend held a firm hand on the small of your back, pushing you through the crowd and causing a small jolt to run down your body as she steered you around every obstacle and corner in the room. She was a woman on a mission, and the one who dragged you out of bed, convincing you - against your better judgment- that it was fatal that you accompanied her to a frat party. You knew she was good-natured, and your first friend when you moved 500 miles away from home to college. It was an instant click, but you were opposite best friends.

Dina, ever the social butterfly, had connections in all different spaces; she could party with the sorority girls –hold the coke, please,– out-cram everyone, even the National Honor Society kids, all the way to the top of the class, hell, she was on the damn debate team, which was probably why it wasn’t a struggle to get a ‘yes’ out of you. You, on the other hand, were uncomfortable at bars, school sporting events, and parties, and one time you even thre– fuck, never mind. It was all effortless to her, in almost an enviable way. Dina loved to go clubbing, loved to hang, out, and she had been near-begging you to come out with her and her cool friends for months, not that you’re not cool, I mean.

And somehow, despite everything, it worked.

You could almost remember how you got there if you put away the sticky crunch of coke sticking to your shoes with each step, and reached back into the recesses of your mind. Or at least, back three-and-a-half hours ago.

“They’re all great people, no weirdos, promise!”

It was the emphatic plea made to you as you lay on your bed, queuing up the next episode of the apocalypse show you watched each week, watching her make Dina list off every reason why you just had to follow her out tonight. It was clearly very life-or-death shit to her, but you were unconvinced. It was just a party but there was going to be a smaller, more intimate kickback in a friend-of-a-friend’s basement. She was in the middle of getting ready, sitting at her school-issue desk and looking at herself in the mirror, dark hair coned over her head in a bun as she sat in deep concentration, words slurred and simple as she applied mascara, her mouth slacked into an O position.

“So you’re gonna like, fucking go, yeah?”

She said it as though it was obvious, like it wasn’t a question, but one look at you, –curled up in covers, laptop on chest, martini glass pajama pants and teddy bear teeshirt ON, unbothered– showed her that it would be a tall order, and that big guns would be needed.

“Not interested, sorry.”

“Not even a tinyyyyy bit?” Dina squeezed her fingers together for emphasis, throwing her head back in mock exhaust, a theatric groan rumbling out of her throat. “Not even a little bit.” You echoed, your roommate cutting her eye at you through her handheld mirror, but it was what it was. You weren’t into all of that stuff; the bump and grind of sweaty bodies wasn’t alluring, listening to someone else’s shitty music at ear-bleeding levels felt like hell, and if you wanted to get pitifully drunk and throw up all over yourself, there was a garbage can right under your bed. But your friend really, really, wanted your company and it made you feel, really, really bad to always blow her off.

“Why are you going so hard on this?” You bemused as you propped up on your elbows, watching as she stalked around the room in her newly painted face, quickly rummaging through her drawer for a spare outfit.

“Maybe because it bums me out to see my super cool roommate wasting away in her dorm every weekend?” In Dina’s mind, she was making a lot of sense. She was waiting for you to chime in, to say you know what, Dee? You’re right, I get it. But instead, you stared blankly, and she threw down her arms in exasperation. “You’re in fucking college, man! You don’t even wanna have one night of fun?” She punctuated the ‘fucking’ with a wild gesture around her head, which made you chuckle to yourself.

“I mean, I was planning on wa–”

Your body was jostled by an insane amount of weight, almost turned completely over by two roughhousing dudes– a mess of limbs and arms, who looked at you and then at each other, as though they had spontaneously sobered up. You didn’t even have the time to start to be angry when they prattled off a blended, slurred apology and thrashed somewhere away through the mass of hands and faces in the dark room.

Fucking assholes, ruining the flashback sequence.

The room was lit only by haphazard mood lights; soft LEDs and gaudy, flickering Christmas baubles, a solitary television, camped by stoners who laughed madly, and the dim auburn glow of the odd ceiling lamp nestled in the far back of the house. You were out of your element; you couldn’t dance, weren’t the most social, and even though you were with a friend, all of this made you feel very alone.

Dina cut through the crowd with her elbow, bellowing out “Ex–cuse me!” while she pushed you through gaps as they formed. Her voice fell to mutter again, barely audible, chunked and cut by the music bouncing from wall to wall, grumbling that she had places to be, and if E*&^$ didn’t get her off at least once, there would be hell to pay. She was determined to get to the other side of the room, where it was arranged that by the chips, as smokers usually are, she would find her current fuckbuddy and her friends, waiting to hotbox and pregame a bit more before the room peaked. She was driven by horniness and selfishness, as one typically is after four shots of Tito’s vodka, and getting smoked out and ‘taken care of’ upstairs was half the reason she even came.

You’d never met her most recent suitor, and the question of her girlfriend was always met with a ‘no, she’s just my sneaky link.’ but you didn’t question it enough to know more. She was just the girl who Dina would go off campus to meet, and as long as she wasn’t a slasher, and her pre-rolls knocked you on your ass, it would be what it was. You were carried away by your friend’s excitement, by her heavy hand nearly lifting you off of your feet as she beelined to the kitchen, wrangling your twin bodies every which way.

“Ellie! Ellie!” She yelled, jumping up and down a bit to compensate for her voice being swallowed by the bass. She burrowed through the wave, pushing you towards a girl leaning against the sink, nursing a red cup and low, hazy eyes. Her auburn hair was swallowed by a black docker, and a dark-coloured backpack jutted out from behind her as she smiled and waved the two of you –mostly Dina, into her orbit. She looped her head under your shoulder to be pulled into the strong hug of firm biceps, and Arms looked you over, offering a friendly nod.

–

“It’s on streaming. You can watch ‘Many of Them’ literally whenever!”

“Live tweeting is a part of the experience.” You chided matter-of-factly, sitting up cross-legged. It wasn’t like the brunette was wrong, exactly, but you couldn’t give up too much at once. Going soft was not a part of the plan.

“Fuck, whatever– You know the girl I’ve been hooking up with, right?” Her eyebrow raised at your dispassionate ‘not really.’ “Well you know her fucking joints, she sells– weed, shrooms… pills?” Dina listed off with her finger, mulling over the last detail for a second, then confirming in her head with a nod. It’s fine, you’re cool, and the two of you had always bonded over your love of recreational joy anyways. “So, if you wanna smoke orsomething– I got you, all you have to do is show up.” Her hands were up almost sheepishly as she tested the waters, but you weren’t super convinced, and your idea of fun wasn’t exactly playing wingman while she got tongue-fucked by a drug dealer, and the pregnant pause was enough to cue her into having to bring out the big guns.

“-And, and! I'll wash all our dishes, and cleanyoursideoftheroomforaweek.”

Damn, she practically ran through that last part, so under her breath you knew she was hoping that you didn’t hear. But you did, and for a second you could almost see a smirk play on her face as your eyes lit up. She was always up for a good bribe, and even though she would act annoyed, it was great for breaking you out of your shell. She would offer to watch the zombie show if you came out to the bars in your college town with her, pizza if you confessed to your crush instead of instastalking them three times a day, even though it didn’t work, –oh well, shooters shoot– and tonight? A week free from chores if you just spent a couple of hours in your own personal hell. Yeah, you would give her this one.

“Now we’re talking. If you want someone to be the lookout while you and Jesse Pinkman go at it, who am I to deny?” You teased, kicking your legs over the edge of the bed.

Your roommate craned her head up, momentarily stopping her mission of rifling through her clothes. “Who said that?”

“You’re in your ‘good panty’ drawer.” You whispered cheekily.

“Well, you got me. Someone has to get fucked around here.”

“Oh fuck you, bitch!” You laughed, throwing your pillow, hitting smack in the center of her chest.

Dina bounced around the room, practically billowing with glee. There was a descending, barely audible ‘fuck yeah’ as she traipsed down the hall towards the bathroom, rounding the corner and disappearing from your periphery.

“By the way, you know Jesse’s last name is Huang, right, not Pinkman? And we’re uh– not together anymore.” Dina shouted through the silence.

“That’s a character from Breaking Bad. It was a joke– because he’s a drug de–” You stopped yourself midway. “Never mind. It’s not funny if I explain it.”

“Oh– I never watched Breaking Bad. Too Long.” She deadpanned. You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as you slid your way off the bed.

That’s how you found yourself in a dimly lit bathroom, missing the comfort of your memories as ‘Ellie’ rolled a blunt. You stood leaning against the door and Dina sat on the closed toilet seat. The dealer sealed the last of the leaf with a flick of the tongue and a lick of spit, maintaining direct eye contact with Dina so she could not-so-subtly show off. She passed it to the brunette first, who mimed a cheeky, ‘why thank you’ and drew poutily. You three sat there for a while, smoking and talking, steam from the hot shower wafting above your heads as music pumped through the foundation of the house.

There was laughter outside of the door and it soon became awkward for you, Ellie and Dina finishing the blunt, –you were a lightweight– and chatting idly as Dina traced a fingertip against the outline of the tattoo Ellie was showing off.

The temperature of the tiny room ran hotter between their reddened eyes, and it was as though you were being banished by a galactic force. You couldn’t mistake how the red-haired girl’s glance caught an extra second or so at the way Dina’s body was hugged just right in her party dress, cleavage strained against the fuchsia PVC of her neckline, and how she bit the corner of her lip when her eyes hooked on a dark mole on Dina’s breast that was framed by the feathers of her black hair.

It was time to go, unless you were interested in seeing your best friend get dug out on the countertop.

You were already a little bit wobbly, hearing a giggle that slipped from Dina’s lips morph into a squeak as you slipped out of the crack you pulled in the door and into the fray, getting carried down the stairs and back over to the drinks. You crossed over a kissing couple, cutting into their makeout and heavy petting session, and through a huddled together group of girls whispering something about seeing an ex across the room.

You gripped onto the countertop for stability when you finally broke free from the pulsating wave of bodies. There was a bit of everything surfing in deep bowls of ice and water, open bags of chips and snacks bunched up together on the island. You could not be sober for this shit. You wedged up the pop cap on a hard seltzer and brought it to your lips, the spirit coating your tongue and boiling its way into your stomach. There it was again, the familiar warm feeling in your hands and feet, the soft pressure already creeping across the flat of your face. Yeah, now that was it. The anxiety began to melt away, and you leaned against the countertop, flexing your legs.

Wow, they’re inviting giants to the shindig too. You laughed to yourself as the scarlet-lit ocean parted, and a tall, wide figure walked through and into the darkness of a descending flight of stairs. If only it was that easy when you needed to piss, notwithstanding that you had already been in the bathroom.

It’s fun being sardonic sometimes.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your roommate coming down the stairs, the dealer’s deft fingers pulling down part of her dress that rode up her ass. She arched her head up, straining left and right like the eye of a submarine as she looked for you; her eyes lit up, waving to you as she fisted her companion’s belt loop, bouldering through the sea of people. She was high as fuck, if her bright pink eyes were enough to speak to it, and your gaze lingered over the new expanse of a deep purplish hickey on her neck, small indents from teeth glimmering with saliva in the light.

There was that hotness again that burned in the pit of your stomach, not from drunkenness or anxiety, but the can of fruity liquor in your hand covered up for the embarrassing flush of your wild cherry-coloured cheeks. You peeled your eyes back up to her face and smiled dumbly. You’d never had *that* before. You’ve watched things before at least, and obviously, touched yourself to the thought, but you’ve never had someone to fool around with in bathrooms or hold your skirt when it rode up.

There was your first kiss, but it was in middle school, so it didn't count. It was all clammy lips, two noses that couldn’t get the space between them *quite* right, and an overzealous set of chompers that left you with a bloody lip. Actual horseshit, but somehow, a core memory. It was annoying in a way, how it just didn’t come to you, but you wanted to be wanted. To be lusted over, desired even in that casual touchy way that simmered between your best friend and the girl you didn’t know very well. Dina was making grabby hands at you, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. Your drink bobbed as she whisked you to her will, you and Ellie sharing a knowing look as she pushed your bodies through the hall and down the darkness of the stairwell.

–

“RULES ARE SIMPLE,” some asshole in a hat bellowed as he stood over all of you who sat in the circle, mildly drunk off your asses and looking for easy fun. He held up a black beer bottle, carrying it like a trophy and swishing it around your noses for a closer look. “You kids might know seven minutes in heaven.” You didn’t know him, but according to Dina, this was his house, his party, and his very annoying rules. A light patch of raised skin played against his nose as he scrunched his nose over and over again, hands on hips, clearly trying to steal back whatever thought the liquor took from him. Jason, right?

Whatever.

“But we’re all grown-ups here, so I present to you–” He rolled the bottle in hand, clearly soft-launching his bright idea. “Fifteen minutes in purgatory!” There was a deep groan radiating from some, but there was a small minority that exploded in cheers, and whoops. “Pretty self-explanatory, two adventurers venture deep into purgatory, and come out forever changed.

“Two adventurers go deep into purgatory,” He gestured his head at the foreboding broom closet in the back of the room. “And return forever changed.”

“We’ll use the bottle to choose our unlucky voyagers, and you’ll spend fifteen minutes in the closet.” He explained, dropping the mystique in the second half. “Alright kids, let’s start; and just for the record– If you’re a pussy, get the fuck out of the circle!”

The drunken cast of partiers whooped and cheered, hyping each other up, spilling beer out of red cups as they gestured wildly, entirely too grown for this. The room played ‘not it’ to pick who got the first spin, and the unfortunate soul was a blonde who sat cross-legged, blank-eyed at the black glass handed to her, nodding her head tersely.

“We got our very own Abigail Anderson– !” Her eyes narrowed. “Andddd….” Hat praised, cueing her to spin. She took the bottle, pointing the tip towards herself and then spinning it, the glass doubling, tripling the circle, making you dizzy chasing it with your eyes, and everyone sat with bated breath. It slowed and slowed and slowed, until, like ugly fate, it stopped at your feet.

“Our newbie!” He got up to cheese, leaning over you, placing his hands over your shoulders, and rocking you from side to side. You laughed awkwardly, putting your palms up defensively at nothing.

“Um– uh…” You were at a loss for words, only cut off as his head shot into your field of view, hot, hopsy breath tanging your nostrils. “What, you scared?” He taunted, all eyes on you, watching as you nursed a deep discomfort about the whole thing behind an uneasy smile.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Jordan.” The girl, Abby, groaned. She looked up at you from her downward pointing head, swishing her bottle of hard cider in the hand propped over her knee. Jordan, that was the name of this dickhead. Yeah, fuck him. “If she doesn’t want to get in the closet, she doesn’t want to get in the closet. I’ll just spin again.”

Dina cut in, the redhead still leaning lazily against her. “Yeah, don’t–dont be a dick, Jordan.” Her face was tight, and Ellie was annoyed because Dina was annoyed, and the room held a pregnant silence, and even though it wasn’t your fault, you felt all too responsible and all too uncomfortable with all of the eyes watching you.

“It’s fine, guys. Let’s all– eh, chill out, okay? I’m going to take the dare.” You leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper, trying to steal back the vibe, trying to replace the tension with playful drama as you circled your head around, wiggling the fingers slightly of your held-up palms. “Because I’m not a little bitch.”

The crowd exploded in raucous laughter, each voice clashing together and mimicking the sound of a pipe bursting. You looked over at your partner, who seemed pleasantly surprised, a smirk playing on her peach lips. She placed down her bottle and stood, and as she towered over you, you realised that maybe you were playing with fire. She was scary and nonchalant, but the outer workings of her face were soft and gentle. She didn’t look like the girls in the videos you watched at night; she was something different, uncharted, and before you knew it, a nervousness, and something lower, darker, ran through your body.

Then it was time to go, you piling in first, looking around at some of the half-darkness in the room, barely enough to fit two people in.

The asshole patted the girl’s back, corralling her into the closet behind you. Blood rushed to your head, the pressure was too great, like getting skullfucked through your ears. show her a good time, you could hear him say, and then something that you couldn’t quite understand over the bass. The mountain’s eyes narrowed, but before she could shoot back, her large body crashed into yours and the space became tighter and tighter, just enough for the two of you to put your arms out to either side or turn around. For a split second, you could see Dina’s face from over Jordan’s shoulder, tightened in concern, a timid thumbs up at the side of her head. Then, he closed the door, and the last of the light slipped out through the crack in the wall.

There was a deep silence, and somehow, like the hazy feeling you get right before you wake from a dream, you were chest to chest in the darkness with her blue eyes staring back at you, damn-near bioluminescent. You’d seen her around, because everyone sees her around, but it hadn’t registered that the giant who had parted all of those people in the crowd like they were just water, was standing right in front of you. Outside you could hear the rumble of the music, vibrations of the bass wrapping around you and shaking you from the inside out. The closet was too tight, too warm, too filled with smells from towels and coats and folded blankets and dusty boxes of light bulbs and two cramped, awkward bodies.

Suddenly, you felt all too intimidated.

“You’re Abigail, right?” You questioned. “Off the rugby team?”

“Abby.” You couldn’t read her face in the dark, and though she spoke pointedly she didn’t seem angry, but the accidental overstep was enough to make you want to dig a hole through the floor with your bare hands and die in it. “And yeah– captain, of the rugby team.”

“Oh, sorry, sorry.” You yielded. “So… what are we supposed to do? In here, I mean.” You gestured at nothing, knocking some washcloths from a top shelf down in the dark. “Ah, damn it.” You cursed under your breath, bending down to pick up the small stack. You could hear Abby behind you, sucking her teeth with a judgy hum. Her brows were almost touching her eyelids, captured in secondhand embarrassment, and she almost felt bad for how awkward you were, scrambling to pick them up from the floor.

If you could see her face, you’d be able to tell how her eyes flicked up and down her body, taking everything in. Your black skirt slid slightly to bunch at the front, uncovering portions of your doughy thigh and the ever-so-tiniest range of fabric hiding your prettiest secret. She had to tear her eyes away, almost. She jumped, even, glad you couldn’t see as you popped back up.

You were cute, holding the disheveled stack in your hands, a look of sheer pride on your face. You looked over to the side, tossing them unceremoniously on a free shelf, gravity taking a couple back to the ground. Your sated chuckle, the way your tits pushed up slightly, illuminated, almost framed like art by the neckline of your cream cardigan made her hungry. She pushed the ideas of what she wanted to do with them out of her mind, but damn, she could think about some things that would make the devil embarrassed. She stomped down her desire, stoicism crossing her for a second, only for her to open it back up on second thought.

“They want us to fool around, fuck, ideally.” She started, analysing your expressions for any hint of discomfort at the conversation. “But– we don’t have to do anything.” She tried to cut some of the thick discomforts with a placating smile, almost lost in detail in the low light. She was huge, more so than you, or most anyone else you knew, the jutting-out edge of a shelf knocking the back of her head every time she leaned her head back in the tight space. The hard washboard of her torso was framed by an opening of a grey hoodie and barely much else, just the thick band of her boxers peeking from her sweatpants, and the black of a cropped tank top that stopped right below her bra line.

“Jordan… is typically a good guy, but when he gets drunk he’s a total POS.” Abby was sallow-faced, pursing her lips, tension running through her jawline. “I shouldn’t have let him put you on the spot like that. So… I’m sorry that you got pressured to get in here.”

“It’s fine, I just.” You started, ready to say that big phrase, the one that slightly burned your back to admit. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“What, played seven minutes in heaven? Yeah, kind of a jackass thing to suggest in your twenties.”

Shit. She was going to make you say it.

“No. I mean I’ve never–” and you thought your tiny voice couldn’t get any tinier. “had sex before.”

Abby breathed in the deepest sigh, pure anxiety crossing her face for a split second, before she was feeding you apologies. “It’s fine, we don’t have to do anything we can just sit here and talk. Or be in silence if you want it’s alr–”

“I want to do it.” You said doggedly, pressing yourself into a tiny corner. Her brow perched, and there was something in those narrowing blue eyes that said she didn’t believe you. You were pigeontoed, legs shifting against one another, declaring in your firmest voice that you wanted her to take your virginity.

“Are you sure?” She breathed out, stepping a bit closer. “You don’t have to feel pressured to do anything because you think they want a show.”

“Oh, my god.” You were pouting, annoyed. “I can choose if I want to have sex you know, and I want to have sex right here right n–”

She kissed you, softly as possible, testing your waters to see how far you were willing to go. Her hands were patient, one lightly knotted in the woolen knit of your cardigan to lightly pet your lower back, the other making gentle grips on your sweatered arm. Her fingers were barely bruising, gripping around your wrist almost tight enough, and a tiny shockwave coursed between your thighs and convinced you that you wanted more. In this low light, in this dark room, in this place between space and time, you wanted to be her conquest. To be taken, touched, manhandled, to be made to weather the storm of her overwhelming strength against you, lost in the middle of the ocean.

It was perverted, almost, how the idea of her showing restraint raised hairs on your skin, how you deepened the kiss like you were being overcome with an insatiable, bloody hunger. You had to take back the moment, to steal her attention in a way she couldn’t deny before she thought you were all talk; you stepped closer, positioning yourself so that her thigh hovered right below the heated space under your skirt. Her hand was warm, soft as you grabbed it, moving it lower, deeper down the divot of your back and where the fat of your ass connected. She caught on, groaning into your lips as she kneaded around your body, her tongue sweeter and heavier against yours, working that one damned hand up your skirt to cup bare skin.

You jumped.

As fast as it had come, her hand slipped back from under your skirt and the touch was lost completely, awkwardly hovering for a second until Abby pulled it back into her pocket and stepped back. You were miserable, eyes welling up in frustration like a lost dog at the lack of feeling. She was pulling you into insanity but was too chivalrous to drown you in it, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly as she looked down at you.

“Fuck– didn’t mean to be aggressive like that. I–” The redness bled across her cheeks, freckles on full display as her fingers met the wet spot that you were hiding, your hands guiding hers to the space between your thighs. There was a pause, a knowing, a challenge between the two of you as an unknown heat spread throughout your bodies, and you collided once more. The blonde’s mouth sucked a nasty pressure into your throat, agitating it with bites and licks as her head traveled deeper, hands playing at the front of your sweatered torso to undo the buttons that held your breasts hostage.

Her entrance was assured as she popped the loops open, fingers gripping the fabric of your camisole and lifting up, taking your bra with it. She nipped at the exposed flesh, heat from her mouth traveling directly to your vagina, clit throbbing hard with need. Abby engulfed a nipple with the wetness of her tongue, closing her lips around the rapidly hardening bud to pull it to full attention, chuckling as she scraped the flesh with her teeth. The wet head was replaced with her palms, each thumb and forefinger rolling one or the other. The sensitivity of the tiny flesh was insane, enough to make you whine out loud as she continued, better than anything you had ever done to yourself.

You were biting your lip, eyes big and doe-like as you waded through your pleasure, soft pants heaving your chest. She fished it out from between your teeth and hooked it within her own, popping the plump flesh into her mouth as she pared yours with her tongue. You swore the room was spinning, a wetness slicking between your thighs, a drip positioned between two pairs of hungry lips. You could’ve spent all fifteen minutes– or an eternity, in this beautiful hell, giving and taking and relishing in a different, sort of strange type of want.

“Don’t stop.” You moaned in between stolen breaths, the blonde chasing your mouth each time you pulled away.

“For you, pretty?” Gripping you tighter for emphasis, pressing you closer into the wall, angling further between your spread legs. “Never.”

It was like you were some weird intoxication to her, a drug that she couldn’t get enough of. How your ass molded right into the divots of her palms, those tiny moans that rang through the cage you two were in, the rapid beating of your heart rippling through your body. She wanted to peel your cardigan from your shoulders, wanted to shred your clothes from your body and take you however she liked, and make you feel better than you knew what to do with. Needed to make you scream and fuck you until you cried. But it was your first time, so she resigned to being gentle and soft, like you were a little deer in the forest, and she was trying to get close without scaring you off. so she would give you only what you needed.

She didn’t have a lot of strong feelings about that nickname she had earned in sophomore year, War Machine, from all of the pretty girls she ran through and left unable to walk, unable to talk for a couple of days or more. but when Jordan said it, in front of you, in front of sweet and innocent, pretty and tiny *you* she could’ve reeled back and torn him apart. But she still didn’t want to scare you. So she had forced an alright, the one a child forces when they get scolded, and hid the burning in her palms that made her want to fight in the pocket of her pants.

Your eyes bored x-rays through her formidable thighs as she bent her knees to squad before you, strong hands rubbing up and down your thighs with contrasting gentleness to the hard angles of her face, the brow that was crooked down slightly in concentration, the slightly parted lips playing with mischief as they took you in. You were frightened for just a second, until Abby looked up at you with sympathetic eyes, a hand leaving your thigh and linking with your fingers, guiding you to the base of her skull to envelop her honeyed strands.

She was back at you, the darkness in your stomach leaking out as you palmed her head, and she ran her hands upward, more upward, until the ruffles of your cotton skirt were overturned in her palms. From the waist down, you were completely exposed, a wet spot working itself into your panties from your innermost recesses and a musky scent betraying your shyness.

Abby pressed herself gently into the fabric, her fat lips creating a cool pressure against the hot flesh, her nose itching lightly into your pubis. You bucked your hips unconsciously, nearly fucking her face in your abandon. A vibration from her laugh traveled through you, nestled inside of you, and more wetness began to slick your channel. That friendly ache formed in your rapidly hardening clit, and a similar pain throbbed in your pinkie and middle finger. Her other hand moved up, gripping fistfuls of your ass, less forgiving now, and forcing a squeak from your lips.

You were dumbstruck; a stranger’s hands all over you, mouth nearly on top of your sacred place, nearly leaking from sheer lust. She had barely done anything. Your jaw slacked, and in your mind you felt like a fool, lamenting how you thought your first time would be special. Soft circles rubbed into your inner thigh as she pulled your legs apart, peppering angel kisses throughout the little divots.

“S’okay, baby.” Her voice was barely a whisper, a tiny encouragement that calmed the buzzing in your mind. “Tell me how you want me. I’m yours.”

and you thought that declaration would destroy you,’ I’m yours.’ and it felt very, very real.

“I want you to touch me.” You said, barely a whisper, nodding as she pressed her face to your thigh, sliding down your panties to about knee-level. It was as though she had seen heaven’s gate open, awestruck at the blood rushing to engorge your lips, how your clit stood on end without even being touched. The thatch of hair curling between your thighs and around your depths. She had to have a taste, and there wasn’t much room for second-guessing as she pressed her mouth to the hot spot and flattened her tongue directly against the wettest space.

Juicy noises slid from her mouth as she rolled your clit between her tongue and sucked sharply with her lips, and it was as though you could’ve sunk to the floor, the way your legs became distinctly not yours. It was enough, enough, not enough, then too much. It was like you were an endlessly gushing fountain as Abby’s wet, firm tongue parted your lips, dipping ever so lightly into your hole as she licked out a string of nectar from your drooling cunt. It was as though you were animated, possessed even, as your hands flew into her hair, pushing her head down further and further, to that release you chased violently and madly.

Abby was humble, letting you guide her where you needed her; she was soft at first, but you didn’t want soft, you wanted more.

She obliged.

The blonde slipped her fingers between your thighs and parted your slit, opening up an endless, waiting tightness. She was intrepid, pressing through your clenching muscle and opening you up more than you had ever done; thick digits tearing through you, fucking your pussy at an unforgiving pace, concentration forming in the muscles of her neck. You hid an inhuman growl in the pit of your throat, in the crook of your sweatered elbow, and she moaned out, satisfied with that which she had created inside of you. You were fucking her face in a tight, dirty closet, calf propped over a muscled shoulder for support, the heel of your booties pressing into the wall, locking her in.

It was as though the two of you were fighting, every roll of your hips she chased with her head, every time you shied away from the pleasure she held you harder, taking you even hungrier, diving deeper to a spot you didn’t know was there; every taut pull at her scalp met with an even tighter grip into the flesh of your plush ass. The pads of her fingers violated the sopping warmth of your cunt, and you clenched your stomach unwittingly, walls flexing, holding her hand there. Drool dripped from between her lips, pooling and soaking down into the fibres of an old shag rug, caked with dust and whatever else.

Your own slipped between your lips before you could suck it back in, and the silver trail bounced, the way it does when it breaks, and the thick drop cascaded down her temple, getting lost in your brow. The piece that was yours snaked down your collarbone and between your breasts and somehow, you felt a connection.

Abby snorted, sucked in a breath as her fingers left you empty. Fuck. She didn’t go for her face, wiping them on the skin of your pussy, they traveled upwards, firm grips on your ass. She rubbed the flesh as though she was throwing clay, stretching the skin between her rough fingers, calluses on her palms coasting over every bump and groove. She had found what she had wanted, craning her neck lower, lower, until you could just barely see her eyes. Her fingertips prodded, greedy, opening your lips, tongue leching against your soft fruit as though she was funneling the juices directly into her mouth. You thought your thighs would give out but she held you, stronger, and you fed her willingly.

Her middle finger dipped down into the slit, collecting juices, stealing a breath from your lungs, you wanted to scream her name but it was caught inside of you, so you stood slack-jawed, fuck drunk as she abused your walls, fucking every ridge painfully slow. The tight hole stretched around the meatiness of her finger, and she hooked it as though she was searching, retreating from the warmth, slick with your nastiest of liquids. Again, she split your ass with one hand, and you clenched your tightest hole without thinking about it.

“Don’t worry,” She said, muffled against your mound as she latched against it once more, “gonna help you so fucking good.” You were confused, but you trusted her, a complete stranger. For a second you began to ask what there was to worry about, but your mind was pried away from you as you felt the pressure of her coated fingertip tracing around your asshole. A gentle kiss played at the head of your pussy, comforting you as you nodded your head wildly, something of a ‘yes’ flying from your throat as her middle finger parted that threshold.

Your mind exploded, head shooting straight up into the air, a small yelp burning into a silent open-mouthed cry. You were spinning, the room was spinning, your body heated up instantly. Then, the wet warmth traveled back to your clit, her opposite hand nestling two fingers into your aching, needy twat, her tongue lapping as her fingers resumed digging and that one damned finger fucked in and out of your tightest hole painfully slow.

She fucked you like an animal; you cried out like a bitch in heat. The music trembled through your ears, and you were afraid it wouldn’t be enough, that everyone would hear, everyone would know. You were both drunk and this didn’t matter, didn’t mean anything, but she was bottoming her tongue out in you and you wanted it to mean a lot. Girls talked and you fucking hated them all. She was loose, she got around, and you wanted to be hers.

You wanted to capture her and be interesting to her and walk with her hand on your lower back around campus. Wanted her callused fist in your hair, around your neck as she took you every night. Wanted badly to fucking cum, to open the portal, to wash her face with this unholy water, wanted to kiss wet lips and taste everything. Wanted to know if she could ever like you, after you gave it up, quickly, bellowing like a foghorn against a rack of coats. You wanted to be kept, to keep her spit inside of you like a keepsake but she sucked it back in a quick second, before you could even feel her cheeks hollow between your thighs, and felt dirty for even thinking of it.

A sweet pain formed between your thighs and you couldn’t stop the groan that rose from your throat, every muscle in your face clenching and unclenching, your eyes crossing as your orgasm came quickly into view. Abby fucked you through it, fingers slow and forgiving. It was as though a stream of slowly descending tidal waves were crashing against you, and you needed more, it hurt but you needed more. Something deep burned inside of you, endlessly hot, and you wondered how she could stand the heat as she hit it over and over again. You sobbed, and swore that you could feel a tear roll down your cheek, feeling the need to rub your eyes for good measure.

She looked up, entranced, face softening for a second, watching as you gave up your mind to your body. There was a hard knock at the door, the music lowered a decibel, silence filling the two of you, her fingers still deep inside of your two holes. A sing-song voice bellowed out ‘five minutes!’ and the darkness ridged her eyes.

For the first time, her voice was hard, removing her hand from your cunt, making sure to curl the one in your ass tighter in compensation. She slammed the door twice with her fist, the frame bulging in a way that made you fear the whole thing would just fall down. “Fuck off.” Her voice was loud enough to tear through the uncomfortable tension. There was an apprehensive, ‘woah man,’ that you could barely hear, and the music regained, the party rejoiced, and hopefully, the fear of God being struck enough in your host to leave well enough alone.

Her lips were still slick, soft, kissable with your juices. She flashed you a genuine, pretty smile. Her hands gripped a little too tight but you wanted it all. She looked down at the mess between your trembling thighs, then at your heavy, panting face. She leaned back on her heels as a wide smile played on her face, satisfied with herself. A windy chuckle passed through her glistening lips, wiping her mouth and chin on the inside of her hoodie. “Fuckin’ insane.” She breathed out in between pants.

“Abby.” She said, as though the strength of your orgasm traveled through your brain and made you forget the events of the last 15 minutes. “Constance Hall. Dorm 425 on the second floor.” It was as though your heart skipped a beat, but you punched it down, a weak smile playing against your lips.

She was fucking disheveled, almost inhaling the last sweet smells of your pussy, creating a memory of the flavour and filing it away in her mind for safekeeping. She was delicate, pulling your white panties up to your thighs again, soothing a finger where those soft, curly pussy hairs were hidden again. She let down her hands, skirt furling down, covering the marks of dark possession that she left behind. “Come see me again sometime, ‘kay?” She chuckled, giggled even, and that glint in her eyes was enough to make you faint.

She stood up, waiting for you to compose yourself and straighten everything out before she pushed open the now-unlocked door and peeked her head out.

Jordan was already on her as the door flew open, and you could hear his hushed nosiness as you hugged the wall and tried to act casual, eyes locked on her retreating back as she reentered the room, light haloing her. ‘So what happened?’ you swore his lips read, and your stomach dropped. But she cut through his questions, loud enough for you to hear, convincing enough that he wouldn’t have anything to run his mouth about later on.

“Nothing man, we were just talking.”

Maybe she was actually just that charming.

Yeah.

#tiki writes #abby x reader #abby anderson x fem reader #abby anderson ff #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson smut #abby tlou #abby tlou smut #abby smut #abby anderson x female reader

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ieatadoptmepets · 6 months

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I 100% headcanon because it's 100% true but ever since Greg's play in the first doawk, Rodrick somehow caught wind of his audition and how he was the best by far and teases him with it.

any time he pisses Rodrick off, he'll respond with like "yeah okay bright eyes"

he'll randomly say lyrics in the middle of conversations with his friends just to get him upset in front of them knowing it's something only they know and there's no way Greg would explain it

years and years later, it's still an iconic thing between them and it ends up bonding them.

every party they have, that song plays. any road trip they have, that song is always first no matter where to or what the vibe is.

one of their bachelor parties you ask? they go ham on karaoke to this song. they've done it so many times that they're better than bonnie tyler herself

when Greg reached freshman year and Rodrick was a senior (im not sure if that's their canon age difference but it is now) there was yet another talent show, it went so well with the help of löded diaper and became an annual thing. Greg and Rodrick sang Total Eclipse of the Heart as a duet and got a standing ovation and were half bullied as nerd, half peer pressured to join every theater production and Rodrick pretends it totally ruined his reputation but he loves being known as Greg Heffley's Brother and the same with Greg

#loded diper #diary of a wimpy kid #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #doawk rodrick #frank heffley #greg heffley #holly hills #jeff kinney #susan heffley #manny heffley #rodrick heffley

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dyke-a-saur · 1 year

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Finished watching Heartbreak High and I gotta say, I feel like they pulled off Gen Z High School really well. Like I could go to school with these absolute agents if chaos.

Okay but important business:

Amerie

I loved her the second she popped up on screen. Her energy, her personality, and her friendship with Harper. It was just the best. At times tho, I could see why the other characters antagonized her. After all, it was just as much her map as Harper’s and she put people in awful situations. Not to mention the reveal that she failed to let Harper in, then had the nerve to say she’d always be there. She even did the same to Malakai (tho it’s clear she acted out of trauma from her and Harper’s friendship gone sour)

Dusty

Fuck you. Youse a bitch, a snake, and truly a shit stain on the trousers of humanity. Work on yourself. Big soulful eyes tho.

Ca$h

Arguably the second most emotionally intelligent character in the show? Definitely better at it than Darren and his relationship was so refreshing? It was neat to see it not be a “I like dudes, oh no,” storyline and instead “I’m ace and just need to better express that to my partner who I love and adore”. Also that “I love you scene” was peak ghetto and I loved it. Darren’s Baby Daddy really behind bars, huh?

Malakai

This man. Is so fine. So sweet. And so funny. I love the way he gets to know Amerie and then befriends her and then becomes her first. And even if he handled the peer pressure to talk about the details poorly, he wanted to do right by her. I also loved how they explored the kinship he had with OTHER BLA(c)K CHARACTERS. It was nice to see how much he healed by being in his community and being surrounded by love for his culture. Missy being a big part of that was beautiful.

Harper

I did get the "spoiler" that she went through "something traumatizing" right before the start of the show, then later got more clues from Tumblr. So i had more patience with her character at the start, being honest. But goddamn it was so hard to watch her shut Amerie out and lash out at her. It also sucked seeing her antagonized in the second half because if she could've reached out or accepted people reaching in, then I feel like shit could've been handled better. But after seeing the events of "that night" I could totally get how and why she would want Amerie out of her life. Fake as hell for not owning up to the Incest Map tho. I was constantly whisper-yelling at my phone "girl, get it together!'

Quinni

No notes. Love her. She's the best. Also the most emotionally intelligent character (not a surprise and fuck you Sasha). She helps so many characters process their emotions, make up, figure out wwhat they want, and still stands on her own as a great character with her own life going on. I'm NT, but from what I've seen on Tumblr, most ND people see her as good rep.

Spider

Fuck this guy. Racist, sexist, (not as homophobic as previously assumed), and awful. But I love it. I love when he gets told to shut up. I love it when he's being awful and the other characters are like "yeah, fuck this dude". But also, he was weirdly complex? like the scene where he would've gotten it on with Amerie makes a lot of sense in context of the rest of his behavior. He's overcompensating because someone he genuinely liked, and cared for to an extent, hurt him in a vulnerable place and treated him like a dissapointment. Doesn't give him the right to react with daily verbal abuse, but his character makes more sense that way. I'd like to see him grow from that, but I'm not sure how.

Star of the Show

They're here, they're queer, they're unapologetically BLACK, they. Are. DARREN.

Okay jokes aside, I love this bitch. They're not only a great friend, but they (mostly) know what they want in life. It's sad to see Darren be dismissed as “too much” in their home, and you can really see how its affected the way they view their ability to be loved and cherished. So seeing them find that in Ca$h and watch the relationshp between the two grow was beautiful. It hurt to see Darren hurt Ca$h, like they gay ass ain't know what the "A" in "LGBTQIA" stood for, but that growth and intracommunity hurt was important to see.

Others

Ant annoyed me but he seemed like he could do/be better if he wasn’t around the rest of the guys. Sasha pissed me off, but I hope losing Quinni was enough to actually get her to look at her self-righteous tendencies and work on herself, I wanna see her go far. Missy was a fucking icon and I love her. Ms. Jojo is the love of my life and fuck Spider/Ant/Dusty (nigga) for screwing her over like that. Mrs. Spigot is my literal soulmate.

I think that’s all for now? But yeah go watch it if you haven’t already. It is another show focusing on the sex lives of teens but it feels more authentic than anything we’ve been given before.

#heartbreak high #darren heartbreak high #ca$h piggott #amerie x malakai #dusty hate train 4 lyfe #quinni heartbreak high #sasha so #australia

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the-mighty-mittens · 4 months

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I did a bunch of Castoff incorrect quotes, you wanna see?

Of course you do

Marina: Pick a card, any card.

Rori: Fine.

Marina: Wait, that's my credit card!

Rori: You said any card.

Marina: *running towards Arianna with open arms*

Arianna: *moves out of the way*

Marina: Hey, why'd you move?!

Arianna: I thought you were going to attack me.

Marina: I was going to hug you!

Arianna: Why would you hug me?

Marina: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

*when a child starts crying in public*

Sage: *tries to make the child laugh*

Frankie: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Marina: *gives detailed instructions to the parents*

Rori: *cries with the child*

Arianna: *ignores the child*

Vector: *is the reason why the child is crying*

Vector: Man, it smells like wrongdog out here.

Arianna:

Arianna: Vector, are you alright?

Vector: *sobs*

Vector: A sprite is anything not static.

Sage: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d.

Rori: A sprite is a fucking soda.

Rori: You god damn geekass bastards.

Vector: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

Vector: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!

Rori: Hey- what are you doing-?

Vector, shoving an oreo into their mouth: I am saving space :D

Rori: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Rori: You’re kind of a pushover, aren’t you, Vector?

Vector: …I’m sorry.

Rori: See!? That’s exactly what I’m talking about!

Arianna: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project?

Sage: Do it or you're straight.

Arianna: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

Arianna: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Arianna: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

Vector, texting Arianna: Arianna there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Vector: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry

Vector: Arianna

Arianna: Arianna is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

Rori: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Arianna: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!

Frankie: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!

Arianna:

Arianna: What?

Frankie: I need to feed my Neopets!

Arianna: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Marina: Those are wanted posters!

Marina: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Rori: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

Vector: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Arianna: Cannibalism.

Vector: *confused chewing noises*

Sage: Where is Vector?

Marina: I'll do you one better, who is Vector??

Rori: Here's a better question, why is Vector?

Arianna: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Vector: Arianna.. I'm gonna cry!

Arianna: Please don't.

Vector, crying: Request denied.

Arianna: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

Vector: What’s it like being tall?

Rori: Is it nice?

Vector: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Frankie: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

*in a group chat*

Marina: First one to reply is gat.

Marina: *gay

Marina: Wait...

Marina: What did you get on your shirt?

Rori: Rust.

Marina: From what?

Rori: Weapons.

Arianna: Time for more adult supervision.

Bonus Zebra herd quotes!

Zera: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.

Zera: Hi, who's this? Terran changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Liam: What's mine?

Zera: Dwarf.

Liam: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Zera: Oh, hey Liam.

Liam: FUCK!

Liam: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours!

Sonja: Six? I only got three!

Terran: You guys got sleep?

Zera, comes stumbling out of their room and grabs a jug of coffee before saying: What year is it??

Terran: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?

Liam: Ooh, yes please!

Zera, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!

Terran: It's not a bug though...

Zera: ...

Liam: ...

Zera: Well I still don't want to see.

Liam, realizing: Please don't throw-

Terran: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*

Zera: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

#Castoff #Incorrect Quotes #I'm turning a bunch of these into memes #I have more but they're screenshots I took at like 3 am and may or may not actually be funny

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girlcatullus · 5 months

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using tumblr as a makeshift diary in 2024

i have been using tumblr as a diary less and less... which saddens me, firstly because well, i am fond of this site (although i am not sure whether it consists of actual affection or it's just a case of stockholm syndrome), and secondly because if i have to be terminally online, i'd rather do some unhinged girlblogging and creating than mindlessly consume empty, meaningless content... this post has no specific direction by the way. i just wanted to say that i hope to leave smoking behind for good in 2024! remember how i quit smoking in june 2023? i went 4 full months without smoking and then i basically peer pressured myself into starting again, which was miserable for the whopping not-even-a-month-and-a-half of me being a smoker again. and even then i didn't smoke as much as i used to. which prompts me to think: how the fuck did i do that? 10+ cigarettes a day is absolutely untenable and it used to be my normal, especially spending all day in uni... during late november/december i basically went through a pack of tobacco, which in the days of my former glory i literally could blaze through in a week/10 days... got sick of it, bought another pack just so i could have social smokes, had social smokes with a friend of mine when she had me over, and then i smoked like. 4 more cigarettes between the 29th and the 31st of december. had my last during nye and threw away all my tobacco gear... and now it's been almost 5 days without a smoke.

i mean i already did the addict "baby's first week without smoking", that grueling, soul-breaking experience of going from 100 to 0 cold turkey... this time is much easier, because i've rarely gone over 5 a day during my nostalgic comeback to cigarettes. and you know what? i do get cravings and i'm a little irritable, but i am also enjoying it because... not feeling some sort of weight on your chest at all times is better than feeling some sort of weight on your chest at all times? and it really helps with the somatic side of anxiety? maybe i've outgrown that taste for mindless, small-but-regular-effort self-destructive behaviour that has accompanied me for all adolescence and early adulthood? if that's the case, then i'm happy. because i've figured out, or at least i want me to figure that out, that i'm still going to be myself, my own brand of weird, even if i don't engage in self-destructive behaviour. which yeah sounds crazy but it's true. i don't need to be depressed and physically struggling to be an artist or an intellectual (in fact, shocker, 2023 has been my most productive, most flourishing year yet when it comes to well, mostly poetry, and i completely owe it to being more stable and not hurting myself all the time). maybe my overarching 2024 resolution is to stop hurting myself all the time? maybe it is. maybe mitski is right and self-acceptance and self-care are way more radical because they are, contrarily to YOUR belief, the hardest path to take.

to a quitter's year, to weird shit, and to a manageable 2024 to you all. :)

#rant #diary entry #yeah this snowballed into a long ass post #if you're a mutual and have read this then i love you :)#also if we're not mutuals. i love you too

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lemonluvgirl · 2 years

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Not a Single Thing

She lays next to me as I stroke her hair gently. Her eyes are heavy lidded, half closed. She's sleepy and beautiful. And I let my fingers trace the curve of her cheek softly. I'd always wanted to do that on the train as she fell asleep. I'd wanted to touch her so many different times, so many different ways. Sometimes it was like this, something simple and sweet. Sometimes I'd want to feel the lines of her body, and memorize her with my hands. Always I wanted to touch her.

I both loved and desired her. And now that she was with me, it was incredibly satisfying, and liberating to be able to finally touch her, just because.

I make another sweep back up and this time I brush the back of my knuckle down from her temple to her jaw. She smiles a little, and it makes me grin like an idiot I'm sure.

"I always wanted to do that on the train." I tell her softly, not wanting to break the peaceful atmosphere that we've created in our bedroom.

"It's nice. Friendly even. It would have been ok with me. Why didn't you?" She asks me quietly and I think about it for a minute.

"I guess because I wanted you to feel comfortable with me. I didn't want to pressure you. We both got enough of that during the tour. Besides, I probably knew on some level that once I'd started it would be impossible for me to want to stop."

"Hmmmm." She replies, noncommittally.

I huff out a laugh. She opens her eyes fully and peers up at me.

"I wanted to trace your freckles sometimes." She admits and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. She usually just accepts compliments from me. Occasionally she'll respond by bringing my lips to her for kisses, or more...

"Oh really?" I ask and then I'm rewarded with one of her beautiful blushes. It warms her olive skin, and spreads across her cheeks and a little down her neck. My eyes trace the movement with fascination. I never knew she blushed so hard. Then again, I'd never seen this much of her bare skin to be able to track her blushes until a few weeks ago.

"Why didn't you? I certainly wouldn't have objected." I tell her with the utmost certainty.

She rolls her eyes at me. And I love it. She's so comfortable and herself here with me in our bed. It's heavenly.

"I guess I was afraid of the same thing….not knowing where it would lead. Not knowing if it would stop at that."

"This is the first I'm hearing of this. I find myself very intrigued to know more." I tell her as I lower my lips to her bare shoulder and place a soft kiss there on her delicious skin.

"I already told you about it. The first night. I mentioned your shoulders and the freckles then." She says, slightly annoyed.

"I do remember. And I recall exactly what you said. You said the freckles interested you. Not that you wanted to touch them." I tell her with confidence. Those words, all those precious beautiful words she'd finally given me were burned in my memory. Every single one. I'd never forget them.

"Well, I don't know. I guess I thought you'd read between the lines."

"Darling, I've made the mistake of misinterpreting things before…" I tell her quietly, and she looks up at me, more serious because of the tone in my voice, "and I never want to take your feelings for granted again. They're too precious to me. So if you want me to know something, you'll just have to make it plain and simple, like you did that first night." I tell her gently and she just stares at me for a minute.

Her stare is full, heavy with understanding and recognition of what I've said. She knows what I mean. Back during our Games, I had thought she really fell in love with me in the arena, even though it was all an act. She sighs deeply. She moves closer to me and buries her head against my shoulder.

I have to admit this makes me feel monumentally better. Even though she's here naked in my bed after we just made love so passionately it would make a fever dream seem tame, it still hurts to make any reference to that time when we were barely on speaking terms. If I was honest with myself and her, I was heartbroken when I found out back then that her feelings hadn't been real. But it seems so long ago now, especially after all that's happened. I smile down at her gently, without accusation.

But I can see the guilt in her features, the old wash of shame and regret that used to color her face during those days. And I hate it, making her feel that way again. I don't ever want her to have those kinds of feelings. Not here in this bed, in this house where all I ever want her to feel from now on is happy and content.

"Katniss, I didn't say it to hurt you, or make you feel bad. It was a long time ago. But the lesson holds true, maybe now more than ever. I love this, what we're doing. I love having you in my bed, in my arms. These things, whether they're for now or for...longer, they are precious to me. When we're together like this, whether I'm asking you what you want for breakfast or I'm asking you where you want to be touched, it should be because it's what we both want. If that means we have to spell things out sometimes, while we get the hang of this, well then that's just all the better. I'll never make you eggs when you really want pancakes. And I'll never touch you if you don't want me to….." I tell her with as much lightness, as much grace and honesty as I can. Because I need her to understand what it means. I need her to know that it's important, for me, to know that these things between us are real.

When her eyes meet mine again, there is agreement in them. She nods, slowly, and reaches up to touch my face. She caresses my cheek for a long while as she stares into my eyes with a look somewhere between deep appreciation and well...longing. It still startles me to catch her wearing this look when we're together. I can never quite find it in me not to be surprised.

"Peeta….Peeta, I want you to touch me now." Her quiet request surprises me, but only for a moment. And then I feel like I'm fully awake and alive.

She takes my hand that had been resting against her hip and brings it up to her left breast. And I feel a sudden wave of desire. My hand curls in, to cup her breast. She's so beautiful. I touch her with my hands and kiss along her neck gently, just enjoying the feeling and the taste. I wish I could capture the warm golden color of her shoulders, even in the dark. I wish I could find just the right shade of peachy brown perfection that could be found at the tips of her breasts, and order gallons of paint in that tone. I wanted to paint an entire room in that color and live in it for a month, a year. I leaned my head down to lower my mouth to her other breast. She arched her back and squirmed closer to me impatiently and I smiled as I used my tongue to stimulate her.

Her hands wandered down my chest, my stomach, and eventually to my stiffening cock, and my evident desire for her. I felt the sensation like a current of electricity that jolted up and down my body when she took me in her hands and began to stroke up and down my entire length. I stifled a groan and she let out a breathy laugh. She tightened her grip around me and increased her pace. I felt my heart beat faster and then an unstoppable louder groan of pleasure escaped my lips. This time she chuckled and oh, it drove me almost mad.

"Oh, you don't get to have all the fun." I tell her darkly as I slip from her grasp and lower myself to start kissing down her body. Her laughing stops and she looks down at me as I situate myself between her legs.

Her grey eyes glint darkly with lust as she stares at me, a silver spark in a grey fathomless sky... I trace my fingers along the inside of her thighs, slowly, lazily. She huffs a little.

I smirk.

"Want me to touch you….here?" I ask as I let my fingers wander up, and up.

"Uh huh," Her voice is high, and out of breath.

"How about here?" I ask as I trace my finger along her entrance which is already evident with arousal. The beautiful slickness of her... it makes my mouth water...just seeing the way she responds to me. But I'm resolved to tease her a little tonight. She's in a phenomenally good mood. So I don't automatically progress to touching her where I know she wants me to. I linger just out of reach massaging and kneading her thighs and hips. She strains her body towards me, almost unconsciously. Then catches herself doing it and stops. I grin up at her. She looks down at me embarrassed but her cheeks are also flushed with lust and just a bit of desperation. I stifle a laugh. She looks at me incredulously, a little bit angrily. She knows I'm waiting for her to give a spoken response, and it's annoying her.

"Peeta, shut up and just...oh….." Her annoyed protests are cut off by the interruption of my mouth and hands finding her. And all her annoyance is forgotten. It's cathartic on some level to finally be able to strip away her resistance and natural impulse towards defensiveness.

I like that she needs me, specifically in this moment, specifically in this way. It's a heady rush of a feeling that comes with realizing just how much her desire for me has grown in this short amount of time that we've been doing these things.

She moans as I swirl my tongue around her favorite spot. And not for the first time I'm glad for all my brothers' late night conversations about the female body. I'm sure Katniss and I would have figured things out on our own, eventually, but knowledge beforehand, even if it was second hand information, has certainly helped ease our transition into this territory. The first time I had been able to make her orgasm, it had been a personal triumph. The look on her face after, a mixture of awe and unfiltered gratification, had had me daydreaming for weeks. Sometimes I still get hard just thinking about it.

She lifts her hips in time with my movements, and I know she's getting close. She's panting now, and her thighs press against the sides of my face at moments when she's lost to the pleasurable feelings I'm giving her. I pick up the pace, and alternate using my hand more frequently while putting more pressure on her with my mouth. She squirms around me, anxious and needy, so I slide my hands under her body, cupping her exquisite ass and dragging her down, harder onto my mouth. This sends her over the edge and she cries out sharply, unrestrained, and I'm glad, not for the first time since all this started, that we have the house to ourselves. Sometimes, she gets loud. And I fucking love that about her.

As soon as she's done, I'm clamoring to get on top of her. My urge to be inside of her is getting on the more desperate side. And when she reaches out to grip my hips as I slide inside of her, I can't help the sound that escapes from my throat. Part ecstasy, part plea. I don't start out slow. It's been a while since the first time, and we're both more familiar with each other by now. And I'm so turned on that slowing down would just be torture. Besides she’s so wet from my mouth and her own release that I almost slip right in, meeting barely any resistance.

She wraps her arms and legs around me as I dive into her sweet warmth, over and over, while pressing my face into her neck. She murmurs nonsense into my ear, not words really, just noises of encouragement and pleasure. I want to make her come again, but I'm so close, I don't know if I can hold out unless I pull out completely.

"Peeta, don't stop. Come on, I want you to-"

They're the last words I hear before I can't hold back anymore. Her telling me she wants me to come sent me over, way over, and I come so hard my vision goes blurry for a second and I can barely feel any sensation in my one good leg. I have to concentrate to get my arms to obey me and hold me up long enough so that I don't crush her underneath me. But I manage to roll off her, and fall heavily beside her on the bed. I labor to calm my heartbeat and catch my breath. She snuggles into me, warm and pliable as she fits herself against me. It wasn't the most adventurous or the longest encounter we've had. But it sure was satisfying as hell. And she tells me it was good, before kissing my shoulder and closing her eyes.

And I can't immediately think of a single thing wrong with the world at the moment.

#everlark #thg #fanfiction #smut #everlark smut #everlark lemons #lemonluvwrites #repost

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pinkdinkydoon · 2 years

Text

Due to peer pressure I am going to be rambling about my GotG insert under the cut. Lots of writing, just a warning.

Part 2 will sadly be made.

So a few things before we start. I rewrote all of the mcu in a over 240+ page doc. This is just what I thought was important.

Very obviously self insert. Its my horribly written hyperfixatipn and I get to put myself in it to kiss my husband and make it better

Tony didn't freaking die. Idk I think he's kinda important for what a mid character he is.

after the gauntlet was destroyed as was the stone Gamora died for, she came back. Woo!! I hate this series so much. Widow isn't back because that stone was in a different time.

Peter is half celestial, quarter spartanax, quarter human. I love the TV series for doing that. keeping it.

superior gamora design from the comics. Love those white circles.

I hate that like they made ONE MONTH PASS BETWEEN THE FIRST AND THE SECOND MOVIE. Fixing that. Second movie takes five years after the first, the time between the second and Infinity War takes 6 years.

Now I'll drop how I perceive the main gang

Peter - Personality: Movies | design: movies | Backstory: movies

Gamora - personality: TV show | design: comics/novels | backstory: movies

Rocket - personality: novels | design: movies/comics | backstory: movies

Drax - personality: movies | design: TV show | backstory: TV show/movies

Groot???? - personality: novels | design: all ig?? | BACKSTORY: TV show!!!!!!!!!

》》》

OKAY NOW WE START

My insert, Lici, is a Terran Assassin that works for the Italian, American, and Japanese government. Only hand to hand combat and only used weapons for instant kills.

Killing a kree leader that was in disguse on Terra, she had no idea what Kree were and that she killed one, she was abducted and sent to prison. Not the Klyn.

She escapes, and decides that she likes the space life better!! It's time to become a space assassin!!!

Got there when she was 19, spent 5 years messing around. 24 when she meets the gang.

Very odd day. Just so happened to get arrested and put into the klyn around the same time all of them did.

"Wow... you're really pale for kree! Weird. Most kree girls are bright pink"

"I'm Terran. Sorry"

"what."

Peter gets super excited and immediately starts going off about his tragic backstory while she stands there extremely confused and concerned. "0-0 I just met you"

Quill drags her along for the ride escaping prison, going to Tivan, the ravagers, and fighting Ronan.

They all succeed, and the Nova Corps wipe away all their previous crimes. Allowing them to now do mostly good... from now on.

Now in one giant ship, a team.

The first week is super awkward. Quiet. Rooms haven't been assigned. No music at all because Quill has headphones in as they wander space.

Lici decides its time to break the mold!!! She immediately gets into some comfy clothes, and decided to make dinner and listen to music loudly.

Big mistake.

Drax takes lyrics too literal and it takes him awhile to finally understand them as a whole. But after the incident the finally are comfortable relaxing a bit more and realize they all have a love of music.

The finally get rooms situated as well!

Rocket, Groot, and Lici all share a previous storage room. She gets a mattress on the floor, Baby gets his plant on the window sill. Rocket gets a hammock above them both.

Drax and Gamora share a bedroom while Peter gets his own room.

Since majority of their time is spent on the ship it becomes more and more homey. It takes awhile to get places and it also may take time for orders/people in genuine danger to come in.

Only reasonable thing is to make cassette tapes for everyone and their specific taste. They share personal favorite foods, experiences. Lici becomes the designated cooker/ship cleaner.

They're mostly friends. Not exactly a family yet.

One day Peter requests they go to earth and go grocery shopping. As he's tired of the alien food and REALLY REALLY WANTS poptarts and all the other name brands.

Gang agrees. And while the trip to Terra's sector, Lici walks over to Rocket who is piloting.

"Hey uhhhh... you're good with Tech right??"

"Nearly 5 months living together and you're asking me that?"

"Can you take out tracking devices?"

"Depends. Where?"

She motions to her left thigh and right arm. "Government put them in in case I ever decided to ditch and expose them. I don't wanna get Mac n cheese and suddenly be ambushed by officals."

"Yeah I gotcha. I'll take em out"

A very odd way of bonding, but it's an execption that he allows someone to actually touch him. So while he rips her tigh open to get the tracker out, she's sitting there aggressively holding the couch and part of his arm. Same applies to her arm.

They wrap her up, hook her up to a small blood transfusion and get groceries.

The two of them get more comfortable together. As over the next 5 years they are raising a super small tree in a storage room.

Th holidays come around and Peter has honestly forgotten about those sort of things. Abducted at such a young age, she brings it up and they excitedly decorate the place.

Lights are set up, a poster by the living room talks about the gift giving and she starts making holiday sweets just about every night.

One night she wakes up, waking up her roommate, unaware. She starts he morning sweet making to which he follows.

She's humming, like usual and he clears his throat.

"AH- Oh. Did I wake you?"

"No I'm here on my own intent. I set an alarm and everything...." small pause. "Its like 2 am. Why are you up."

"Mhmm... I wanted to make muffins for breakfast. And also holiday cookies and brownies."

"Yes well. Quill doesn't wake up until 10 am Earth time and it doesn't take 8 hours to make muffins. Kiddos gonna wake up and go "oh where's mommy and daddy!!! Time to cry!!!""

".... mommy?"

"That's the part you pay attention too???"

"I'm up cause I couldn't sleep...." She pauses. Waving a baggie. "Wanna help me frost?"

So he does, and they mess around getting frosting everywhere and laughing. He then decided... fine. I'll participate in gift giving. Because she... kinda deserves it.

Gift day comes around and everyone is given something. (Excluding drax who everyone all agreed they couldn't think of anything, and he replied "the greatest gift is company" ((nerd)))

She gives Peters elemental blaster an upgrade. Gamora a engraved sword, and Rock a new gun holster.

He pulls her to the side and gives her his gift. Cant let people know he ACTUALLY PUT EFFORT. She gets the trademarked hair pins that she never takes out after she gets them.

Both get pest parent mugs.

After that they start hanging out more. More close friends. Close enough to share her mattress. Wow.

As Drax and Quill have their friendship, they have theirs. like everyone has their own built friendships??

Quill and Gamora have the unspoken thing. Quill and Rocket are bickering engineers. Quill and Lici are the Humans. Lici and Gamora or Sucks being the only Girls Club. You GET THE GIST OF IT. At the end of it all they're a family.

5 years post the first movie, Groot's 5 now and they are far more comfortable than they were before.

After the fight against the giant beast for the sovereign, Lici stares straight into Rockets eyes as he steals the batteries and two keep the straightest eye contact.

"Really?"

"Whaaatt?? Anulax batteries are a once in a life time grab."

They meet the high priestess, the fly away happens. And they crash. They meet ego, and immediately everyone is suspicious. Quill agrees to go with him along with Drax and Gamora

Lici stays with Rocket, and helps rebuild the ship and watch nebula. He goes to set up traps, she watches the kid and thinks.

Is it normal to share a bed with the person you take care of a child with and also be the only person he actually allows touch from???

A rational person would say no.

He comes back, gets to working back on the ships and hums along to her personal cassette tape. And she stares while he works.

Like stares. Hard.

"Ya mind?"

"huh. hUH.- UHHHHHH-"

"You're staring.

"Yeah i realize that. I'm trying to think of an excuse gimme a second..... you uhh.. sing nice."

"Sure," he squints a bit.

His notification that people are in the premises and he jumps off to deal with it. Southern Nights comes on and Lici stays with Groot while she continues to think.

And then she hears and explosion and panics immediately. Tells her kid to stay still and runs into the forest. Knocks out one of the aliens close to the ship... realizes its a ravager. Panics.

Sees his figure in the trees and jumps up onto the one he's in. Immediately has a gun pointed to which she shoves out of her face.

"Rock these are-"

"Why the hell are you here????? You're supposed to be watching groot."

"Well these are Ravagers and I thought you needed help."

"I'm fine. Go watch the kid"

"No! I'm helping."

"go watch the literal FIVE YEAR OLD. THAT IS WITH THE LITERAL SERIAL KILLER."

"he's fine--" she hesitates.

They finish up the gang, only for yondu to come down. The betrayal happens they're put on the Ravager ship. Tied up and upset. Groot in a cage while she yells for them to stop and Rocket sits there extremely upset.

"You know maybe if you stayed with the kid-"

"Oh so now you're gonna blame me for this??"

"Oh no of course not all of it!! Just about HALF OF IT!"

"OH SO HERE WE G-"

The main one revolting shushes them and does his taseface speil while Lici sits there mildly amused with the remarks her friend is doing despite it all.

And it hits her like a bus.

Oh she is totally in love. Like a train she sits there and stares into the distance of her horrible situation and then turns back to Rock. Wow.

Yeah she'll ignore it. The rest of the movie happens as it does, Ego is killed and they head back to the ship with new scars and very tired expressions.

Everything is relatively normal. Things stay the same. Gamora and Peter now share a room so woo to Drax and mantis sharing a place now.

And it continues....

Lord all mighty I have to make a part 2. Massive kudos those who actually read this. I'm sorry for your braincells 😭😵‍💫

#self ship #pinkspacewanderer #my art #rambles #long ramble #●R.M.L

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autistump · 2 years

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tw for forced outing, underaged alcohol use, lesbiphobia

i’ve been forced to out myself a few times. i haven’t talked about it in depth but after the whole kit connor thing, i realized that people don’t realize how forcing people to out themselves fucks people up. not just celebrities, but random people too. so while i can’t say i know exactly how he feels (i admittedly am not in the public eye as he is, or at all really), i do know what it feels like to be powerless in that way.

i wish i could say i didn’t have to come out, i wish i could just be who i was and love who i wanted to, but people saw me and got to know me and for some reason decided i wasn’t worth coming out on my own terms. i’m not outspoken, i can barely stand up for myself and i prefer to keep to myself. my mom saw the way i acted and decided that she wasn’t gonna let me keep things from her, if she wanted something from me, she would get it. and that’s pretty much how it’s been my whole life.

i never got to just be myself and love without having to explain myself. i would try and she would find out about it and force me to tell her. the first time it happened i was about 12-13? i don’t remember exactly. she took me to lunch and started talking to me about boys. at that time i was still convinced that i did like them so i told her about this boy— one of my closest friends. we held hands and cuddled and hung out constantly, it sounded like i should like him, like we should like each other. she seemed satisfied until she got quiet and asked how i felt about girls. i had just stopped trying to convince myself i couldn’t like girls almost a year of trying. i definitely wasn’t ready to talk about it but she wouldn’t drop it. i said i wasn’t interested in girls and she kept pushing me until i said something along the lines of “i don’t know, i guess girls are pretty? i don’t know if i would date one, though”. she gave me a certain look and then went back to her food, moving into a different topic. i was scared and i was upset and i was confused because i still didn’t know who i was. i didn’t talk to her for a couple days after that, she didn’t understand why i was hurt.

i was only just discovering myself. i didn’t feel good about being forced to tell anyone about it, especially not my mom, who i wasn’t particularly close with. especially not after i found out she immediately told my sister that i was “going through a phase”. my sister was not happy with the way she approached that and how she reacted after forcing me to out myself.

i was a kid.

my sister talked some sense into my mom and i though she had since gotten better at handling situations like that. boy was i wrong.

the second time was at a party in the 11th grade. i was probably 16. i was dating my current gf and i was happy. i’m naturally a very physically affectionate person and even more so when i have alcohol in me, so i was pretty much cuddled up to everyone i knew that night. i guess i got too comfortable with one of my friends and i guess one of my friends had a crush on him because as i had my head on his shoulder and he was hugging me, my friend (well, i thought she was my friend) yelled out, loud enough for everyone to hear “aren’t you a lesbian? you told me the other day, were you just lying?” and i froze up. i wasn’t doing anything wrong, just hugging a friend. i had told her l in confidence that i didn’t think i liked boys and i believed i could trust her. and once she spoke up, a couple other of my friends backed her up and suddenly i was being pressured to put a name to my sexuality in front of a bunch of my peers and people i didn’t know. i was terrified of what could happen.

people talked about that for a long time and i lost a lot of friends because of how they reacted, whether it was sexualization, blatant lesbiphobia or saying they “knew something was off” about me. i didn’t talk to more than a handful of people for the last year and a half of high school.

the most recent time was this summer, june 12th to be precise. i had a shitty day at work and i was working through a few hour long panic attack due to the thunderstorm i had to be outside in. i got home and went straight to my room to cry. i got a good 20 minutes in until she came knocking on my door. i knew something was off right then because not only does she never knock on my door, she avoids the basement like the plague. i opened the door and she was yelling at me about leaving my laundry in the dryer or some shit, and so she had brought it down to my room. i tried to take it from her and go back to bed but she wouldn’t let me. she looked into my room, possibly for the first time since i moved into it, and noticed my flags. i felt comfortable and sage hanging them up since i knew that my parents never entered my room without my knowledge because they hate how messy it can get. but that night, she tried to force herself in. i had still been crying, the storm was still going on and i just wanted to cry myself to sleep. she asked what the flags meant. i begged her not to probe that night. i was in a bad place and i was far too tired to deal with it. i kept asking her if we could talk about it the next day. i was exhausted and i wasn’t ready. i kept saying that. “i’m not ready yet. especially not right now” and she kept forcing me. “just tell me what the flags are and then we can talk tomorrow” but there was no point in talking the next day if she forced it out of me that night. she pushed and pushed and pushed until i broke down and told her. the lesbian flag and the agender flag hanging on my wall, mocking me at this point. she had this sort of look on her face. then she looked around my room and yelled at me for it being a mess and then left.

i was closer to knowing who i was but i still wasn’t ready. i was upset with her the next few days (i honestly still am) and i only responded to her in short sentences, if i responded verbally at all. she didn’t understand why i was angry and i didn’t want to tell her. if she didn’t know why then there was no use telling her. she didn’t care about my boundaries.

we’ve never talked about it, not really. whenever my sexuality comes up in conversation, i feel like i have to force myself to pretend to be out and proud but, if i’m honest, i don’t feel like i have anything to be proud of. not getting to dictate how i came out as anything stripped away my power and confidence. i felt so powerless. coming out is supposed to be a thing that empowers people and makes them feel accepted or whatever. i never got that. i got humiliated in so many different ways for something i can’t control and something i wasn’t ready to talk about.

i’m only 18. and i’ve been forced out multiple times. i’m still a kid and i’ve been stripped powerless of my own self so many times, and i don’t see a way to recover my power. i want to be able to be myself and be happy.

i wanted to be able to just exist in my sexuality and not have to feel like i have to talk about it or explain it. lesbianism is a beautiful thing but for all i boast about it and talk about it’s beauty and how incredible it is, i couldn’t tell you how much of it is pretending i know how it feels. i know what it feels like to be accepted and to be shunned for my lesbianism, but i don’t know what it’s like to be comfortable with it. i try everyday and some days are easier than others but a lot of the time, i wonder what it would be like if i had the choice to tell people when i wanted to and not when they wanted to know. i hope one day i’ll find out

#forced outing #outing #lesbian #lesbianism #lesbiphobia #sexuality #lgbtq community #lgbt youth #this whole kit connor thing really hit me hard lol #stop forcing people to out themselves #idk if any of this made sense but i wanted to get it out there

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the-cat-chat · 6 months

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October 31, 2023

The Lost Boys (1987)

After moving to a new town, two brothers discover that the area is a haven for vampires.

JayBell: This movie is literally so dramatic. The style, the clothes, the hair, the moody teenagers--it's all drama. The humor is there, and honestly, it verged on a satirical portrayal of a vampire movie at times. Some of the stuff that happens is so ridiculous, but thankfully it's ridiculous in a mostly good way.

The little brother I think steals the show. He definitely wins first place for fashion sense. He also seems to be one of the few people with sense in the movie. I like that he's actually scared of his brother even as he wants to help him. I feel like most "normal" people would feel the same.

Now let's talk about our main dude. Ever heard of peer pressure? Well this dude is the most susceptible to peer pressure than anyone I've ever seen. In fact, it would be wrong to call it "peer" pressure because it's more like "stranger" pressure. It's crazy to me that he would disregard the warnings of the hot girl he likes in favor of listening to this weird biker creep that he just got into a fight with. Drink this abnormal mysterious liquid with a gang of bikers in an abandoned dirty cave? Sure, why not?

Also the insta-love in this movie is insane. I could've done without some of that. Like he meets the girl, they have half a conversation totaling five minutes, and then all of a sudden she cares too much about him and they're passionately in lust/love or whatever the next time they see each other. Riiiiiiiigghhhhht. I think the girl and the little boy could have a better part in the whole plot.

Overall, this is just a fun time. It's not a perfect movie, but it's entertaining. It's a good break from our Halloween slashers too.

Rating: 6/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I do have to say as 80s cringe as this was, I enjoyed myself, whether that be my own delirium or just that it was our final night of spooky season. (Not to mention I had an 80s phase as a teenager and I am cringe, but that’s neither here nor there). Now, first before I talk about anything vampire related, the clothes, my gawdddd, especially Sam. Actually pretty much only Sam. Bc his outfits were so distracting. And the things they say!! Pretty much all of which comes out of Sam’s mouth. Fave shoutout to him asking his brother if he’s been freebasing again, when he’s very clearly a VaMPiRe(that might just be my new fave insult).

Annnyways I just wanna discuss the level of peer pressure and helplessness Michael eludes from his pores. In the words of John Mulaney - his backbone is in fact an eclair. Ummm some freaks race you to a cliff, so you follow them into a cave, and after you “see” maggots and worms in the Chinese food, you just drink something from a bottle that looks like Indian Jones discovered from the Crusades??? Or the Ark of the Lost Covenant. Like come onnn man. And then how he gets his ear pierced and little leather jacket. To beeee cooolll. It actually is the worst and most enjoyable parts of the movie.

Speaking of worst parts of the movie. The vampire effects. Wowzerz. Like not to be rude but the forehead they gave them makes them look like those big brained goldfish. But whatever. I love the vampire blood is glitter. Pure glitter.

I think the way they had the kids find out who the head vampire was and ultimately kill them was fun and kept my attention real good, buttttt there would be no movie if Michael just wasn’t Michael with all his shenanigans.

^ No spoilers but even tho gramps a little freak- gramps for the win!

Rating: 6/10 Vampires 🧛‍♂️

#movie #movie review #film #film review

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pepperf · 1 year

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7, 9, 10, 14, 15, 37 pweeeaaase!

7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

The opening to fight like a titleholder, stand like a champion:

Diego learned how to punch before he could walk. The cool gaze of the man he will learn to call ‘Dad’ peering down at him. The firm fingers that reach into the curled bud of his hand and tug the thumb free, and then press on his pudgy knuckles, encouraging them to tighten. “Better.” (Praise is always relative; never ‘good’, just ‘better’. A mild improvement on whatever shoddy state had come before.) “Now try again.” Number Two’s improved fist lashes out, aimless and uncoordinated, and, by pure luck, manages to land on the nose of one of the other babies on the mat. She starts to cry from surprise, rather than pain. Dad smiles thinly down at them, and then frowns when Number Seven’s wails set off Number Two, and then Numbers Four…One…Three… “Hmm.” Diego doesn’t remember any of this, of course, but maybe it’s a factor.

I'm really pleased with how it covers quite a lot in a pretty short time: Reggie's parenting philosophy, and how that backfires on him; the kind of effect it has on innocent little Diego and his siblings; and the effects that they have on one another as a result; a nifty bit with the backhandedness of 'better'; and just the sheer, dark humour of teaching literal babies how to fistfight.

tbh, I'm proud of the writing in that whole fic, I wish I could channel that succinct, grimy vibe a lot more, and also the technique of having the dialogue and the actions in conflict, so you get a sense of what they're trying to show vs what's really coming across.

9: Which fic has been the hardest to write?

The long ones! Meet Me In The Morning was probably the one I struggled with the most, which is ironic given that I started with the premise for that one, and then decided it needed another fic FIRST, and then when I finally got to writing that one, I hit a massive wall—but I wanted to do it justice. I rewrote it several times, and went back and forth on so many, many parts of it…well, you remember, you were there, cheering me on/bullying me into completing it! XD It was a total nightmare at times, and I was only half-convinced I would ever finish it.

10: Which fic has been the easiest to write?

I think all the ones that are mainly dialogue are the ones that flow the fastest for me, because there's more of a natural lead-on for each line—someone says something, and the next person replies to that, and it's just quick and fun, so long as my head is in the right space for it. So like – Sheesh, Diego (idk if anyone got the 'Shish Kebab' pun there?), or Nothing Good Starts In A Getaway Car.

Or the ones where it's Diego POV and he's being a massive idiot, bc then I don't have to do any research (aside from, apparently, the climate in Iceland in the late 20th century). Box of Rocks

14: What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Lol! I mean, I think all that stuff needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, if all writing was the same it would be deathly dull. But I think the one that's worst because it stuck with me was something about…someone (I forget who) said that you should consider every line you write, and decide whether you would be happy for it to be carved on your tombstone. And like…jesus fuck, talk about pressure, it took me a long time to break free of that kind of thinking. I mean, yes, absolutely, it's good to craft your writing and make it good—but 'carved on a tombstone' good, for every single line?! Nonsense.

15: If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Oh my goodness…I'm gonna resist the urge to say one of the smutfics, bc I would actually just die of embarrassment…I think the Walmart Batman AU, all three parts, because it has it all: fight scenes, romantic rooftop canoodling, dramatic escapes, shirtless and roughed-up Diego hanging by his wrists with a spotlight on him, unnecessarily complicated lingerie…actually, come to think of it, that one also has smut at the end, but I think it's particularly funny and characterful smut, so I'd live with it.

37: Talk about your current wips.

Talk about WHAT, though?

Okay, I have officially* 4 WIPs: the politician/bodyguard AU that was going SO well and then ground suddenly to a halt, and I need to figure out why; the Las Vegas fic that, well, ditto; my half-finished Whumptober fic from last year that I love the premise for, but don't really know what happens next; and my sequel to Skin that I'm currently working on and which is damn close to completion.

I think the three that have stalled are for different reasons: because I reached the relationship dénouement and didn't really have impetus on the rest of the story, because I got tangled in reworking where it went and the tone is all uneven; and because, just, simply don't have a concept of where it's going. Mostly, what they need is for me to sit down and focus on one of them. But hey, only four WIPs is pretty good, for me!

(*I also have a number of fics that I've marked as abandoned, and which I'm not gonna worry about unless further inspiration hits.)

Okay, I'll stop there! Thank you!

Questions here.

#mememe #writing

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dicmondskies · 1 year

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☆ & * . ♡ i n t r o d u c t i o n . . .

[ ◟ KAY. ◝ ] ⸻ have you ever heard normal girl by sza , well it is CHAILAI CHEN to a tee . the twenty five year old first chair violist in the london symphony orchestra has been spotted wandering down portobello road markets just last sunday , do you know them ? would you say she are more extreme or more ambitious ? anyway , they remind me of perfectionism working overtime, pink sugar essential oil, thai tea over milk in the mornings with a warm cinnamon bun, a sage green couch covered in half finished books, sequins dazzling on ice skating costumes, maybe you'll catch them around yeah ? ⸻ [ ◟ WAWWA NICHA. ◝ ]

chailai chen was born with the highest of expectations placed upon her by her parents. her mother and father both came from hard working upper middle class families who came to the united kingdom before she was born. her mother is an incredible violinist who went on solo tours around the world after making a huge name for herself in the symphony world. chailai was always held to a higher standard than she noticed her peers were held to and she was placed into many different hobbies and activities to ensure she was well rounded and an over achiever. they built her into the perfect moldable multi-talented prodigy. her existence was for their benefit, to reap the praise and ego boosts it gave them and their image of having a perfect daughter. she was taught to always keep herself in line to make sure her family’s reputation stayed squeaky clean and so they’d keep climbing the ranks in growing popularity among the other wealthy families in london. chailai’s father is very wealthy due to generational wealth. but they do not display it in an over the top flashy style, they are more conservative and hush hush about their wealth unless you’re in their inner circle. they have nice things but they don’t go out of their way to draw attention to themselves in that way. because of this, chailai grew up being very critical of herself. she is a perfectionist in her head and is always harping on what she can do better. she simply doesn’t know how to relax because of all the pressure she has had placed on her since a young girl. if she’s relaxing, she feels guilty, because she was taught to always be putting energy into her craft and bettering herself. chailai didn’t have much of a choice in regards to following her mother in her footsteps with orchestra life. the only say so chailai got over her musical abilities was picking out which instrument would be her signature or her specialty. she can play the flute, the violin, the viola, the cello, the harp, the acoustic guitar, and the ukulele. the viola has always been her instrument of choice though. she loves how the viola harmonizes with the violin. most people are more interested in the violin but chailai loved the deeper melancholy sound that the viola produces over the higher pitch violin. it was surprisingly approved by her mother because it meant they wouldn’t have to compete for title of the best. the viola allowed chailai to have her own spotlight, separate from her mothers where they couldn’t be compared all the way. chailai was also an award winning ice skater when she was about 7-14 and then she completely switched her focus strictly to playing the viola and singing. chailai was always tutored and made sure that her grades were nothing short of perfect, she had to work really hard to make straight a’s while also maintaining all of her out of school activities and hobbies. now, chailai is a first chair violist in the london symphony, she studied at the royal academy of music in london and is a household name if you’re immersed into the world of the arts, specifically the symphony, classical music, orchestra world. it would be totally appropriate that the average person who isn’t really into that kind of stuff not to know who she was at all, though she’s done many tours and is even favored in the united states as well.

#nothillhqintro #chailai chen

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yeehawdante · 2 years

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ash chapter whatever

Lady finally woke up after an annoying fight with an oversized beetle. Ash had gotten the easy part of the fight, happy to sit up in his perch and fire at the weak spots on its legs while Nero did all of the heavy lifting. They’d gotten plenty of help from Penny and V as well, apparently, the two of them attacking the demon’s legs from below.

The whole thing had gone relatively smooth until Ash had let his guard down, the scope of his rifle leaving him tunnel-visioned and unable to see the spinning blade of death the demon had sent his way. Nero had called out a warning just in time so the thing couldn’t slice him in half, and instead left a deep gash in his stomach.

Nero had run straight to him after he finished off the demon, watching him fall from his perch having filled him with a sense of urgency.

The sight of Ash on the ground, bleeding from his stomach made his blood run cold. It sent him right back to that day in the Qliphoth where Urizen had torn a hole in his stomach all because Nero had decided to pick a fight and distract him.

“Hey, hey, you’re fine,” he reached out to help him sit up, noticing the obvious shake in his hands when he moved to put pressure on the wound. Obviously he was fine, Ash had hardly seemed panicked and he realized the reassurance was probably more for himself.

“Yeah, I’m alright, just-” he hissed through clenched teeth when he shifted, “just need to get back to the van.”

Nero nodded, and as if on cue, the van squealed to a halt right next to them. Nico leaned out, one of her tattooed arms hanging out the window.

“Yo, Lady’s awake so you got any questions, better make it fast,” she trailed off when she laid eyes on Ash bleeding all over the ground, and breathed out a heavy sigh, “can’t leave you alone for ten minutes.”

Ash chuckled, only to grimace when pain flared up throughout his body. Nero took his arm to drape it around his shoulders, helping him to his feet almost effortlessly.

“Wait! Can you grab that for me?” Nero stared incredulously at the woman in the van, who was pointing at something among the rubble at their feet.

“You kidding me? Ash is bleeding out, get it yourself,” it was a struggle to get Ash into the van, apparently the fall had hurt his back and he’d had the audacity to laugh it off.

Nero hardly regarded the now conscious Lady sat on the couch, draped in a blanket. She stood up when she noticed the man hanging off of him.

“You’re okay!” She exclaimed and he let out another laugh.

“Okay’s a strong word,” he responded, cringing in pain when Nero helped him down onto the couch. “Can you get me the first aid kit?”

Nero nodded, turning to get it from Nico’s workbench. The sickly anxious feeling from Ash’s injury still lingered even in the face of him acting so positive, especially when Lady pointed out he definitely needed stitches. When he turned around, Ash had pulled up his tank top, holding it between his teeth to free his wound. The dark skin of his stomach was smeared with blood, more slowly dripping out and down past his belly button where Nero noticed the glint of metal. Another piercing. The discovery brought his gaze higher to his heaving chest, where his raised shirt allowed him to see his pierced nipples. Something about it felt different than the first time he’d seen them, the sight leaving his throat tight.

A gloved hand appeared in his peripheral, snapping him out of his trance and he realized he’d been staring instead of handing over the first aid kid. He swallowed thickly and handed it over.

Nero watched with far too much interest as Ash cleaned his wound, even more so when he started to stitch himself up. The rapid rise and fall of his toned stomach, his tensed muscles and the deep focus on his face left something stirring deep in Nero’s chest. He’d been following the path of a bead of sweat slowly trailing down his abs when Lady’s voice hit his ears.

“Nero!” He hadn’t even noticed Lady had sat right next to Ash. She peered up at him with a crease in her brow, and he felt a little guilty it had taken so long to talk to her.

“What happened?” His eyes flicked back to where Ash was stitching himself back together.

“Idiot was tunnel-visioned and got cut up.”

Lady’s eyebrows raised, and then she laughed slightly.

“Not him, I meant what happened after I went down?” Heat flared in his cheeks, knowing he’d made it obvious how fixated he was on the guy getting hurt.

After he’d fought off the initial embarrassment, he sat down and told Lady everything he could. He’d hoped she would know something about Dante, any sort of good news to give his mother but she didn’t know anything more than they did.

The van came to a sudden stop, nearly sending Nero to the floor and Ash suddenly cried out. All eyes turned to him where he let his head fall against the couch, his face twisted up in a painful grimace.

“Shouldn’t stitch myself when Nico’s driving,” in true Ash fashion, he huffed out a laugh despite the clear pain he was in. Nero was already stomping up to the front of the van, his hand landing on the back of her seat as he leaned forward to scowl at her.

“Ash is fucking bleeding out back here, can you drive like a person for once?” Nico ignored his shouting, leaning forward over her steering wheel to look outside at something.

“Hey Nero, tell me how this house is still in one piece?” Nero trailed off, leaning forward to follow her gaze to a house among the rubble. Everything around it was in shambles, Qliphoth roots and chunks of concrete surrounding a gothic looking house.

“That’s…one creepy house,” it was. The dark colors emphasized by the gray clouds above, making it look like a scene straight from a horror movie. Something about it was drawing him in, like a little voice in his head urging him to check it out. That was usually how people in horror movies died, to be fair, but he wasn’t going to ignore his instincts.

Nico sputtered when he turned around and reached for his sword.

“You’re going in there? That shit looks haunted!”

“Yeah, and there’s demons crawling around the city. I wouldn’t be surprised,” he came to a stop when Ash struggled to his feet and carefully pulled his top back into place over his bandaged stomach.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He eyed the pile of bloody bandages at his feet.

“With you? I’m not letting you go without backup,” he pursed his lips, hoping if he glared hard enough he’d manage to break through his stubbornness. No such luck, Ash wasn’t budging.

“Fine, but if you open your stitches I’ll give you something worse,” his lips turned up into his usual lopsided grin, albeit a little more exhausted than usual. It made it hard to stay annoyed.

“I’ll be careful, let’s go!”

In front of the house was a different feeling, the building looming over them menacingly and casting a dark shadow. Something about the air felt chillier, and he realized quickly it had started to rain. Ash made a noise in his throat from beside him.

“This place totally has a dead body in the attic,” Nero hummed in agreement. The feeling in the back of his mind was still there, drawing him in like it had some kind of magnetic pull. It reminded him of when he’d found the Yamato years ago.

After opening the creakiest door in the world, they stepped into the old house. The smell of burnt, rotting wood overwhelmed his senses and he realized the house itself wasn’t black-it was burnt. The floorboards groaned under his feet, something about the place leaving his heart stuck in his throat.

The main room wasn’t anything noteworthy; the charred remains of some old furniture and a single staircase opposite to a closed door. Pictures lined the wall to Nero’s left, crooked and burnt to a crisp. The remains of some frames crunched under his feet as he passed on his way to the door.

Beneath the musty odor of the old house, something else hit his nose. Something strangely sweet and familiar and it quickly hit him it was the smell of his mother’s perfume. She’d always worn the same one, ever since he was a kid- the smell of vanilla bringing a strange sense of ease.

“You smell that?”

“What?” Ash’s attention was completely glued to something by the staircase, keeping him from noticing the gigantic chunk of wood steadily growing closer to his feet. He let out a yelp when it finally hit his boots and sent him tumbling forward, only for Nero to grab the back of his shirt and hoist him back up like some kind of kitten. He smiled sheepishly in the face of his partner’s unamused scowl, and Nero couldn’t help but notice the color in his cheeks that hadn’t been there before.

“I smell perfume,” Ash scrunched up his face.

“Can’t smell it.”

“Why do I feel like you’re gonna tell me you can’t smell coz you broke your nose skateboarding or something,” Ash laughed.

“Nah, nothing like that,” there was a pause, and then his lips split into a shit eating grin, “it was actually a dirt bike but my sense of smile is fine, thank you.”

Nero sighed, rolling his eyes in defense against the smile creeping onto his face. “You’re fucking accident prone.”

“I’m gonna go check one of those doors, think you can manage not to break your neck if I leave you alone?” He chuckled a bit, moving to fix his shirt.

“I should be alright, just scream if you see a ghost. I wanna see too.”

The room he’d picked turned out to be a kitchen with nothing of note other than three dog bowls with the same name written on them.

Cerberus.

He smirked to himself, the family had a sense of humor it seemed like. He sighed a bit when nothing else caught his eye, wondering if his instincts had misled him until Ash spoke up from the other room.

“Hey Nero…what’d you say your last name was again?” He stepped into the threshold of the main room, eyebrows furrowed from the odd question.

“Asmodeus,” it was his mother’s last name considering his father hadn’t been around. She’d mentioned it was her father’s name, being a demon, he hadn’t exactly had a surname to give.

Ash was at the top of the stairs, a large framed photo in his hands that he brought to him with an air of tension about him.

“I think I found your grandparents,” his eyebrows raised, the statement so absurd he contemplated if Ash was making a dumb joke until he sidled up to him and showed him the photo.

It was a family; a man and woman posing like a couple, with a little girl stood in front of them. The man was tall with brown hair graying at the temples, his intimidating aura contrasted by the warm smile on his face. The set of his mouth and the dimples in his cheeks stirred up a memory, something so painfully familiar but it wasn’t coming to him in the moment.

The woman beside him had long blonde hair and sharp cheekbones, though, everything about her appearance seemed sharp. Especially her eyes, the deep purple persisting even against the blackened glass.

It was the little girl that brought him to a realization, the mixture of her two parents giving her brown hair and purple eyes.

Ash’s hand in his peripheral pulled him out of his stunned staring for a moment, a bloodstained finger pointing to a name scrawled in the bottom left corner.

Asmodeus.

“That’s…mom,” he said it more to himself than to Ash, voice laced with utter disbelief. When he looked up, Ash was a lot closer than he’d thought, the proximity cutting off his voice.

“Seriously? You’re sure?” his disbelief wasn’t misplaced, Nero having a hard time believing it himself. He pointed at the little girl’s face.

“The eyes, it’s hard to make out but there’s no mistaking,” he had many clear memories of people pointing out how unique his mother’s eyes were. He was sure purple eyes were about as common as his pure white hair.

“She lived here in Redgrave? Why didn’t she bring it up?” Nero didn’t respond, eyes glued on the photo. He was asking himself the same thing. He’d thought his mom had been acting strange because of Dante but it was clear that hadn’t been the only thing on her mind.

After a long stretch of silence, Nero finally tore his eyes away to look around the room.

“Look at this place, it’s completely burnt. This wasn’t the Qliphoth,” the thought made him uneasy, knowing the damage had probably happened years and years before the demon tree ever sprouted. It was hard to even hazard a guess as to what could’ve happened, but something told him there was a good reason his mom hadn’t brought up her history with Redgrave.

After deciding that they’d seen enough, the two of them headed back to the van. Ash had immediately started to fire off more questions at Lady. Nero sat beside him, completely silent and his head swimming from the sheer amount of questions their discovery had brought up. He just hoped he’d see his mom soon.

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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HELLO LUNE ZZZ I JUST WOKE UP oh dear god its already 3pm this is the latest that i have been awake recently oh my ... BUT i hope you are having a great day ahead nd you already ate wadawada hehehe (*´ω｀*) i will respond to your ask later after this btw i was kinda shocked when you flooded it /pos but it made me vv happy!!!

gone angels is a beautiful song, one of my favorites in the library of ruina vocals ost after string theocracy and ehem from a place of love. hehe i was gonna ramble how beautiful this song is BUT!! that would be somewhat big spoilers to the library of ruina game HELP practically speaking, the song itself is a HUGE SPOILER even to the title alone, but the song is the protaganist's theme song/boss fight ost (yes he became a boss spoiler alert!!!) and it hurts even more when you played the protagonist's side episode and found out the true context behind this song because it hits like a truck. huhu roland you deserve better

what's interesting about this song is because the protagonist's pages (you can call them skills as well) is named “a waltz in black” while his late partner is “a waltz in white” respectively and gone angels is in a 3/4 time signature, which is often used for waltz songs!! and the irony because the piano (or pianist spoiler alert again) is the reason why the protaganist's life is in shambles and the reason why his partner passed away and the only reason what drives him the most. the song's instrumental is only the piano! you can really tell mili put a lot of care and love to this to match up to the theme of the game. the song can be also viewed in two perspective, the first half belongs to the first protagonist, roland while the second half belongs to the other protagonist, angela. i want to discuss about the lyrics as well BUT!!! thats major spoilers huhu but yes the lyrics for gone angels are beautiful. oh dear im rambling sm please forgive me!! i certainly adore project moon's works and mili's songs vv much (;ŏ﹏ŏ) HELP i kinda spoiled you a bit i hope you dont mind hehe

children of the city is another favorite of mine and another good song from the library of ruina ost! please do listen to it if you haven't. i love the library of ruina ost because you could listen to them outside of context (except for gone angels because that is a literal spoiler) even if you haven't played the game yet. like from a place of love who seems like a song about toxic relationships and the peer pressure of getting married/settling down with a family on the outside but hides a darker and dreadful meaning once you know the context, children of the city seems like your song about depression and not being able to cope with failure and about complete apathy, wanting to change but can't seem to do so. this youtube comment that i found on the official video perfectly describes what the song looks like on a outsider's perspective but also relates to the actuall meaning of the song, which is kinda sad since this is a theme song of a character who wanted to break free from a never-ending cycle he had been living with his whole life only to find out that he has lost his way while doing so and he was the one being played at in the end. all his attempts to ascend in the system and change it were futile and hopeless as the system he was fighting against was omnipotent and stuff.

oh another interesting fact, children of the city is at the same beat/tempo as a human heart! hehe another small detail that i adore!

speaking of osts, i love the kh ost sm!! especially the orchestra versions of the songs hehe i love orchestra vv much!!! they gave me sm joy nd comfort. fun fact, i first learned of kh because of their osts and my first one was actually xion's theme! xion is a very special character to me and haha dyk? before having the name fei/yori, people used to call me xion! and guess where i got the name? right, from xion on kh! i sometimes relate to her on a personal degree (｡ﾉω＼｡) indeed!!! kh is very nostalgic and made the rest of my childhood a memorable one. OH SO KH1 WAS YOUR FIRST KH GAME??? HELP ME TOO!!!! omg thats so surprising to hear.

i hope you are having a good day ahead!! please do enjoy the weekends to the fullest nd yes they r very short zzz its already sunday and tomorrow its monday again huhu (╥﹏╥) BUT a new week to overcome is a very rewarding experience because it reminds you that you made progress and that you are slowly making a mark for yourself in this world. its good to learn a lot of new things. indeed, you should keep those imporant to you close and hold them dearly and you have so much more to do, i'm excited to see where your journey takes you in the future. i believe you have the potential to go even beyond your limitations. i believe in you, lune!!! you can do it ❤️◝(⁰▿⁰)◜❤️

GOOD EVENING (early morning oops) YORIIII i'm so sorry i got to this so late, i read it n wrote most of the following the day you sent this (4 days ago iirc?) but i got busy. n. yh 😭😭 that said i hope you slept well that day! n hopefully hopefully the past few days too 🥹 you deserve that rest. there's a lot more i want to write in addition to what i have from days before alrdy so i'll get started w that >< (n dw take as much time as you want on the asks, no rush whatsoever <3) (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

LIBRARY OF RUINA UWAHHH god i'm even more interested in it now, n it's thanks to you so THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! o((>ω< ))o in the past few days i've been listening to a lot of mili ehe, esp those you mentioned bcs they're now my favs too >.> ANGELS. WALTZ. PIANO. ngl i freaked out when i read that explanation from you bcs oh my god i love those themes sm !?! i cld. i cld ramble about that for ages HDFKLADJKFSDK ＞︿＜ i love details so much….& meaning…. & themes…. YORI YOU'VE GOTTEN ME SO CURIOUS N INTRIGUED damn i already love the lyrics sm on an out of context perspective n i'm nervous /pos n really excited to learn about it w context >< n. i really wna hear your own rambles i am genuinely so excited to analyze n learn more about the game myself n brainrot about it !!!! & mili's probably gna be one of my fav artists now (thank you for all this) & DW IDM THESE LITTLE SPOILERS i think they've made me oven more excited rn hehe 🥺

i love all the songs sm…. when i read you starting to talk about children of city my heart ached a bit oh my god. HDJFAJLKSDF i got hurt a bit from reading the first part of the comment already that i stopped to leave it for later since i skimmed your ask at first to write down certain points i want to take note of (i reply to asks like writing a draft for an essay) 😭😭 reading back n >< oh my god coping w failure n apathy, wanting to change but can't seem to do so HFJKDASLFJSD SOB THAT. UWAH THAT CAUGHT ME SO HOOKED . i hear it's a sequel though yeah n when i was talking to a friend earlier on the games we want to buy i brought it up n he mentioned he has the first game so. maybeee. n i saw from your twt that. the game's on sale. MAYBE MAYBE HOPEFULLY V SOON…. I'M REALLY HYPED. THAT'S SO SAD UWAHH 'losing your way n wanting to still be a part of it' 🥹 reading back on this ask after listening to the song a lot these past few days hit different. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THANK YOU YORI

from a place of love was the first that caught me bcs it was the one i first saw on your account then string theocracy bcs it's the first in the playlist n i listened to all of them in order in the playlist & then gone angels caught my eye bcs ANGELS n while there's no lyrics on spotify i heard some stuff that really interested me so i searched up the lyrics n. YES. i remember at first the numbers in children of the city intrigued me sm (if there's meaning in them then. i'm so excited to learn if there is ?!?). n then YEAH i rmber this also was one of the top ones that caught my interest. i love the beat /tempo so goddamn much i rmber that was one of my first thoughts so mwah mwah you're so right >< HUMAN HEART. THAT'S SO GOOD. it's actually been one of the songs that have comforted me recently it sounds so calming. thank you so much i hope to be able to brainrot n hyperfixate on this soon 🫶🏼

KH & ORCHESTRA. oh my god yes same. xion's theme…. OH MY GOD I RELATE W YOU ON THAT (/≧▽≦)/ 🤍 >< i played kh1 first bcs of my aunt but i never got off the island i think, i was really too young to actually play. but i still remember the beginning so well n the paopu fruit (which i kept on calling star fruit for quite a long time after until i really knew its actual name) 🥹 kh3 was basically gifted from my aunt bcs it's not really her type of game so oh my god i barely know anything about xion but i relate with her too from what i know t_t (っ´Ι`)っ(i actually ended up changing my discord pfp to her like. yesterday i think !!!! ><) THAT'S SO COOL…. xion's really such a beautiful name n that's so beautiful to hear too. uwahh thank you for reminding n adding more to my kh interest recently (bcs i've been seeing a lot more of it recently again w dearly beloved, listening to more of the ost again these past few months, n some moots on twt)! it's my childhood so i've wanted to know more abt it for a while but i've been busy n struggling a bit w my mental health but really really soon i wna yk get back more n learn more actively so c: & w gbf too actually THANK YOU

feels kinda like fate !?! bcs these things r aligning not only here on tumblr w you but also more moots i made recently on twt & an irl >< i'll have a lot more time soon w sembreak so there's a lot i wna do n then sob bday so i wna get a lot more stuff done n yeah new start, new drive, renewed passion n determination n purpose so. i want to say here thank you for being a part of that actually. i appreciate your existence a lot n it's really nice making a new friend. I WANT TO SAY MORE BUT MY SLEEP-DEPRIVATION IS RUINING MY COMMUNICATION SKILLS 😭😭 but i really just want to say how grateful i am for you? n we've only known each other for a while but i genuinely do care for you. for the individual and unique person you are. i'm not really sure what more to say but yeah. i hope the sentiment gets across.

& i think i said this before but. on me writing a lot (Genuinely hope you dm!!!!) it's nice communicating here via asks it reminds me of writing a letter !?! which is pretty comforting in itself already. N. 😭😭 THANK YOU FOR THAT YORI. n remember you too, alright? you're human like me n you deserve that as much too (^^ゞ uwahh i've been reading your vents lately n. i've been wanting to say smth in return for the kindness you've given me as well as. just out of unconditional care. 🥹 i just. sob wait as i'm writing this i forgot all the things i wanted to say ≧ ﹏ ≦ i've been struggling w finding the right words to say n the energy to reach out even though i really want to do what i can to help the people i care about so. i can only hope that even some of this might reach you. as long as there's tomorrow there will always be hope n possibilities for things to be better in so many different ways. time may be pressuring but in the end. in the inside. we can always take as much time as we can to get better n. yeah do things. as humans we'll always be deserving of something better. n there'll always be someone or something out there that means so much more than we'll ever know. (whether it be something we ourselves love, or vice versa) idk where i'm trying to get w that bcs maybe the words of comfort i try to give others r words i mean to say to myself. i'm rambling but there's a sort of beauty in how we relate to others like that? in the own words you've said to me, i hope you yourself find you in them.

please remember to take time to rest properly. you deserve that. n i hope things will get better for you, with whatever you're dealing with. it's nearly 4 am oh my god hopefully you're sleeping rn but yeah! (つ´∀｀)つ 🤍

#🌙.inbox #🌙.moots #— yori ! 🤍#THIS GOT LONG #it's like 4:48 am rn bcs i got distracted after finishing writing that ><#i'm too sleepy to proofread but yh just wanted to hopefully even just. maybe give a lil comfort #i cld've written better but hopefully that may be enough for even a lil bit aaaaa #🫶🏼 mwah mwahs n huggies w consent n i hope you're sleeping well rn!!!! c:

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