#not trying to be a hater btw they do great work but damn if those ladies dont make me nervous as hell for where this whole thing could go
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thoughts while watching the first harry potter:
listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid
do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake
forgot boats existed
these idiots do scream a lot dont they
i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies
yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better
we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child
hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list
i like that his umbrella is pink
are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges
though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit
speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner
what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???
fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord
maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe
they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat
how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set
ahh yes, antisemitism the bank
how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??
look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him
this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??
why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??
do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie
is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??
thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading
hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development
hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones
i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit
youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns
ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there
oh wait she said good luck
amazing work ginny
ooh a warm filter
can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland
wicked!
you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron
i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that
god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age
god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione
how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?
look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks
MINNIEEEE i love you minnie
looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow
you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house
shut up draco, youre not bond
you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways
if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf
THE FUCKING CLAP
fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater
what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list
oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living
the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself
get their attention minnie
me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out
NICK, love to see you buddy
i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here
the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases
who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??
Minnie, you are the love of my life
shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel
i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole
your robes Neville, you forgot your robes
its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work
why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch
does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football
what the fuck is Quirells classroom
they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron
MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS
why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf
bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide
FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY
they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron
Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf
thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver
BLOW IT UP SEAMUS
SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT
carrot cake? on halloween?
dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron
thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell
no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron
lying: the best start to any friendship
we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment
the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird
not comforting Oliver
Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay
are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games
set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks
fancy flying from harry fucking potter
okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets
why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early
i always remember this scene at night for some reason??
not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron
btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?
there are jumpscares in harry potter
he very much can hide, filch
stop being a narc mrs norris
does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he
oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole
they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup
how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old
big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see
Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked
the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me
well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?
was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw
yes four, you blonde idiot
that shot is really nice, it sets them apart
what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?
ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london
yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath
i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog
god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool
wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?
maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry
why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before
snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry
god hagrid you sweet stupid man
snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them
Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again
i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross
they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn
harry potter walked so queens gambit could run
hermione, posted up
rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old
god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis
"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell
let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away
the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it
just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?
let me choke out this twelve year old real quick
oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out
do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?
ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell
do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?
Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!
how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed
I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points
What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny
some of these extras are really attractive
but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans
hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man
#harry potter#sorcerer's stone#harry potter and the sorcerer's stone#harry potter and the philosopher's stone#hermione granger#ron weasley#k mumbles#fred weasley#george weasley#ginny weasley#hagrid#rubeus hagrid#albus dumbledore#long post#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin
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August 21: 3x04 And the Children Shall Lead
Okay, I’m finally going to write up my thoughts on And the Children Shall Lead. I think I’m (mostly) over all of my excessively-strong emotions about this ep lol. Maybe going through my notes will bring them back. Or maybe not. I’ve felt very tired and uninterested in everything today so it’s hard to tell. So far the process is not going well: tumblr ate my first attempt at a post, like literally I wrote a few lines, clicked to a new tab, and when I clicked back the post was empty so thanks for that, and I keep on just generally not being interested in the task. So, we’ll see.
The tl;dr is that I don’t see why this ep is considered one of the worst. I actually really liked it!
Single-color jumpsuits: the fashion of the future.
Another old Kirk friend! (This isn’t even important lol; it never comes up again or matters that Kirk knew this guy, but we must always be reminded that he is the best networker in Starfleet.)
“He’s dead, Captain.” Not “he’s dead, Jim”?? Sounds wrong.
“The enemy within.” I thought that was a S1 ep?
Ah, another bunch of creepy kids. In pajamas this time, apparently.
Kirk is not having fun being the center of their creepy little rhyme.
RIP to McCoy but my diagnosis is “alien shenanigans.”
“I’m sorry, Captain Kirk.” Such a polite little alien.
McCoy corralling the kids
This sounds a lot like Miri, except purposeful—something targeted all the adults but left the kids, just like the virus in Miri affected all the adults, but not the kids.
…A disturbance in the cave!
Lol at Kirk’s anxiety face. I feel you, man.
Spock’s never experienced anxiety? My first thought is ‘sounds fake’ but actually… maybe he really hasn’t.
“There has to be an explanation.” This is the MOST Jim line.
I like these kids. They’re actually pretty cute. Also love Kirk trying to relate to the kids.
Where are they? Is this Sulu’s greenhouse lol? I love it. They should have used this set more.
“That place is for adults.” Gotta say, I wrote this down but now have no recollection what it actually refers to. The bridge? I think it’s the bridge.
Are they performing witchcraft? Intriguing.
“Friendly angel”—nothing creepy about that at all.
Got a little alien cult going on here. Every time I feel anxiety from now on I’m going to assume it’s an alien cultist nearby.
“We’ll pursue this in my quarters.” Wink wink.
Can’t fool Uhura.
Never mind. Yes you can.
For someone who wanted the kids guarded all the time, Kirk sure was ok with them just traipsing around the bridge. I mean the guards are at the door but like…they’re only at the door.
Never really thought about how there’s apparently an…engineering component... to flying the ship? I don’t know, I don’t really get it but it’s cool.
"Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth." Damn. Great line.
BAND OF MARAUDES. That’s a cool backstory for the dead alien society. Basically, they’re ghosts. Greedy ghosts. Alien ghost pirates.
Great triumvirate scene. McCoy want to protect the kids and Kirk’s like “…but the ship, though?” Which is fair!!
What does the ghost want? Um, a ship to maraud in, were you not listening to Spock’s exposition of the back story?
No don’t beam anyone down!!
Love any time Spock pushes someone else out of the way so he can man the transporter. He’s somehow the second-best expert on it on the entire ship.
Eeek, low-key gruesome death there. Look, I know that this is one of the scenes that haters love to point out as a reason to despise the episode but I personally don’t think deeply enough into the transporter situation to wonder how much information they have or assume before they beam people anywhere. Also…weird alien stuff is happening, guys. Just attribute it to that. Also also, if you’re gonna nitpick like that, be prepared to hate all of TOS.
THE KIDS STOLE THE CAR.
“Sulu, what did you to do my ship?”
Uhura’s watching this little witchcraft scene from the background like ‘aw, so cute.’
“Call upon their beasts.” Metal.
“Go to your stations.” This little kid is a future Captain in the making.
SPACE KNIVES
Kirk's like "Oh no, my crew is deserting me, I'm gonna have to fly the whole ship by myself AGAIN.”
“Captain, why are we bothering Starfleet?” Et tu, Spock?s
How did they get to Spock? He doesn’t seem scared of anything…more like he’s under the influence of a general hallucination, like the others seeing the planet on the screen even after they left orbit.
I remember this part, with Kirk freaking out. Spock doesn’t like it one bit.
He’s just being a littttle Dramatique.
Cannot believe that all Spock has to do is say “Jim” in a quiet, intimate voice and Kirk is immediately okay. Just let it out of his system, grabbed onto his friend, heard his own name, and the beast is defeated.
“My Vulcan friend”? Lol.
Kirk’s face when he realizes they’ve got Scotty too…
“Go away or we’ll kill you.” That was legitimately creepy. Scotty gone rogue.
Aw, Spock was worried about him again.
“Without followers, evil cannot spread.”
“Where did you hear this order, Chekov?” / “The voices in my head.”
It’s interesting that Kirk and Spock can’t be manipulated—perhaps because they have each other?
Enough of this—fight time!
That guard sounded like he really liked that nerve pinch; he was kinda moaning as he went down.
“Spock, corral them to their rooms.”
Outta the chair, brat.
Is Kirk going to defeat the alien evil using logic?
Summoning the “angel” by using the old recording is very clever.
When did they decide to start calling him the Gorgon?
“It lost its power in the light of reality” = “I looked into Spock’s eyes and knew myself again.”
HE IS GENTLE. It’s true and you should say it.
And he doesn’t even dispute it. “AND we are ALSO very strong.”
"You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."
So the girl is Jankowski.
This is very Candyman. The alien needs their belief to live. When they cease to follow him, he literally disappears.
Honestly, this whole alien scheme starts to look equal parts silly and sad, trying to call the crying children "generals.” They’re babies!
McCoy loves to see children in tears lol.
Kirk just hands them all off to McCoy, like ‘well, my work here is done.’
Okay, now we reverse course to pick up those stranded security guards still on the planet, right? Right? No? Okay, guess not.
Uhura, immediately ready with the paperwork lol. Now IS the time.
The end!
Now to try to interpret all of my other, more general notes.
The way I interpreted Spock being able to defy the mind control was that he was affected by Kirk. Because he clearly was affected, but then when he saw Kirk starting to freak out, he looked concerned, and then got them both off the bridge—he had a breakthrough of clarity long enough to understand he needed to get off the bridge. Then he’d be away from the kids, and they wouldn’t have as much control, and he could snap Jim out of it, too.
Like I’m sure his Vulcan resilience could easily have been part of it, too, but that resilience wasn’t enough to keep him from being affected at all—and of course they could have easily written it that way—and it seems obvious that his moment of clarity was caused specifically by watching Kirk starting to lose it. There are so many shots of him specifically watching Kirk and the guard.
The K/S vibes were so strong. Spock was so protective, then they get in the lift and Kirk basically clings to him. All he has to do is say Kirk’s name and Kirk is fine, which is basically the power of true love. And then even outside of that scene… for the whole rest of the ep, they’re a duo. It’s not just Kirk against the Evil of the Week, it’s Kirk and Spock, working together at every turn. Neither of them could have done it alone.
it's a pretty classic trope, in fact, especially in s1, to have Kirk all alone, abandoned by all...where he's the last man standing, the one who has to run the whole ship and save the whole day. Naked Time, This Side of Paradise, and Trouble with Tribbles (kinda) all come to mind. But this time he has Spock! You see the progression of their relationship in that.
I really enjoyed this episode in general. Lots of classic tropes: creepy children; surprise alien; old alien society not as dead as we thought; Kirk has to run the whole ship by himself (with Spock); heroic!Kirk saving the day… It has it all. It’s clearly revisiting some older themes and ideas, but in a sufficiently unique way that it doesn’t just seem like a rehash of an older plot. In some ways, it felt like a Classic S1 episode to me. It has some Miri elements, some Charlie X elements, some Naked Time elements…
I literally don’t understand why it’s so disliked.
Skimmed the wiki and the only specific criticism in there is that Kirk shows an “unmistakable hostility to the children.” Well first of all, he doesn’t. He might not have the best manner with them, but why should he? He’s certainly not mean or cruel to them. He recognizes they’re a danger to his ship, and to the whole planet of Marcos-12, which by the way is objectively true, but that’s not being hostile. McCoy is the one who represents ‘exclusive care for the children’s welfare’ in this ep, but he CAN do that, because he’s not the Captain. He represents that perspective, he gives his opinion, which is both his job on the ship and his role on the show, and then Kirk takes that into account while doing HIS job, which is running the ship. McCoy would have literally let the kids take over their ship and conquer the galaxy as part of their grieving process lol. Kirk was right and I should say it. (Also btw he understands that killing the kids might be an option—but he obviously doesn’t actually do it.)
I actually think this ep is a great example of the triumvirate functioning--McCoy reminds Kirk that the children are just traumatized children, and Spock reminds him that he's responsible for 400+ people on the ship, and Kirk makes the decisions that vanquish the evil, save the ship, and free the kids.
And look, even if you don’t like this episode, you’d have to argue very hard to convince me it’s the WORST, as in worse than Spock’s Brain, worse than The Alternative Factor, worse than Assignment Earth (not even a real TOS ep!), worse than The Omega Glory.
Some stuff I actively liked: the concept of the alien taking over the children specifically (both creepy and…kinda makes sense? That they’d be vulnerable); the message that the followers of demagogues can be both truly dangerous and objects of sympathy; the backstory of the evil empire of pirate aliens—and how greed doesn’t die; the witchcraft aesthetic, ESPECIALLY when paired with the kid antagonists, since kids are so into that like chanting, incantations, rituals thing; that the ep used every single main character (when was the last time a TOS ep did that?). Also I thought the kid actors did a good job!
The theme about the authoritarian and the cult followers was actually quite resonant, I thought; inevitably made me think of Tr/ump and his Tr/umpies. Just like in this episode, you must have some kind of… if not sympathy, at least willingness to do the hard work of deprograming and then bringing them back to the fold, or else the country is never going to heal and it’s never going to be able to go forward in a positive way. It might not go forward at all! But fuck it’s hard to have that sympathy; they’re so abhorrent. Here, you see the terrible things the kids do, and yet sympathy isn’t so hard, because they’re kids. You see how much they are victims/pawns also. And so in that sense, Kirk’s ability to deprogram them is comfortingly optimistic—a little bittersweet, as TOS often is, because the kids have done horrible things and seen horrible things and now they’ll have to live with it, but comforting nonetheless.
I can’t even think of that many things I didn’t like in the ep. Mostly just nitpicky things. Like, was McCoy a little inconsistent in what he thought should be done with the kids? Yeah, but we get the general idea. Did Kirk drop the ball when he let them hang out on the bridge? Yes, especially as he knew how dangerous they were at that point, but I actually don’t mind it so much because they’re kids—it’s understandable that their true dangerousness didn’t fully compute to him. I don’t see that as a mistake or sloppy writing tbh. And was it an amateur hour mistake to beam two people into space? Yes, but it made up for it in being creepy and upping the stakes of the ep.
I guess I could see how the fist gesture could be seen as a little silly. But the other option, having them speak rhymes each time, would have been distracting—and probably also looked silly! Also, as my mom pointed out, it looks like a kid’s game (sorta like the start of rock paper scissors) so it fits appropriately with the theme.
I really liked how they wove in the aesthetic of kids’ games, kids’ manners of playing, into the narrative. Kids can be really creepy! They like creepy things! So the ring around the rosy rhyme at the beginning—a quite disturbing chant, of course, about the Plague, that is also very commonly sung by actual kids—foreshadows the summoning chant that brings the alien to them. It’s all of a piece. And just like the rhyme is just a rhyme, and they don’t know the real meaning behind it, they probably also don’t fully understand the meaning of the summoning chant or the alien that comes with it. It’s all one big game to them.
It’s interesting that the alien seemed to play off their desire both to punish their parents for working too much ("they like the planet, they're always busy") and to have freedom from parental rules (how they react to any instructions from adults, the alien's promise that the whole universe will be their playground, etc.). He really picks their sore spots as kids specifically and turns them into his “generals” accordingly. Like all kids, they don’t think too much about the larger consequences of their game because in some ways, it really is all just a game to them.
I liked how the episode characterized Kirk’s ability to interact with kids. He’s not bad with them at all, but he’s not like McCoy or Chapel either. He “wants to communicate with the future adult in the kid,” as my mom put it, which is perfect. He doesn’t exactly treat them as mini-adults—he doesn’t say inappropriate things to them, and he does simplify his language and his ideas for them—but he does treat them very seriously. And he’s probably best at one-on-one interactions like with Tommy. I think this makes total sense for his character: he doesn’t have kids (David aside lol), he doesn’t have younger siblings, he doesn’t work in a place where he’d see other people’s kids, he doesn’t get to see his nephew much, etc.
…Okay those were all my notes. I know I had other thoughts that were a little less scattered later, but… I’m tired. And most of it is probably in here in some form or another. I also found a list of, like, actual critiques of the episode, and I was considering going through them and addressing them all, and I might still do that. But I think that’s for another day.
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@incandescentlysilver said:
I'm so glad you wrote that defense of evgenia because the hate she gets has been insane and makes me very uncomfortable. I'll admit I didn't like her very much at first, but her skating's really grown on me, so now whenever I see unnecessary evgenia hate, I'm indignant on her behalf, and I make gifs of her to spite the haters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't get them: don't like the skater, blacklist/don't enter the tag. It's not that hard, esp since a constructive discussion clearly isn't gonna happen.
oh and I wanted to add that I like your evgenia edits and I know she doesn't really have a consistent Tumblr "fanbase" and I appreciate you taking up the mantle (unofficially)??? your blog's been so great: I came for yuzu and I stayed for your sincere appreciation of skaters. Keep fighting the good fight my pal! 🤙🤙
Thank you! And I am so glad I’m not the only weird one who likes to make gifs as a way to annoy anti fans and haters. I do love to be contradictory, me. So, sure, bring it on, I will gif at least one performance from every competition Janny does this season. Her programs are, blessedly, quite easy to gif, as they’re full of transitions and jumps done properly out of steps, unlike some other sad crossover-filled stuffs we see on the circuit these days. As you so rightly pointed out, anyone who doesn’t want to see her can easily blacklist the tag, no big deal.
P.S. I love your Janny edits too!
Anonymous said:
Whoa. I came on your blog (which has recently very quickly become one of my favs btw) and was like, what's with the sudden onslaught of Evgenia hate!? O.o Then I finished reading the post and I gotta congratulate you on that mic drop. Whether one likes her skating or not, she deserves the highest respect because she works incredibly hard (as Eteri pointed out in a new interview - nobody works harder than her apparently) and as a result she's pushing boundaries. People just gotta deal with it.
Thank you, I am very glad you like my blog and I apologize for the sudden drama - it was partially my fault to begin with, I was practically begging for it, as you can see :)) Yes, I totally agree with you, whether or not to like a skater is up to each’s personal taste, and freedom of speech means anyone can criticize any skater they dislike, but it doesn’t, and shouldn’t, mean that we have to put up with blatant disrespect and unreasonable hatred.
Anonymous said:
I just read your post on Evgenia and to anon who asks why everyone hates her and not Yuzuru ... lbr, there's also some sexism and jealousy involved. Evgenia is a pretty girl and a super consistent skater who seems to get along with pretty much everyone - that also includes Yuzuru. And *many* of her haters are also hardcore Yuzuru stans so .. you do the math :) and to you: keep up the good work, your posts are always a joy to read, especially for those of us who aren't so technique-savvy! ♥
Anonymous said:
Conspiracy theory: People are hating on Evgenia cause she’s so consistent (but seriously though, what’s her secret???), she’s breaking all those records set by Yuna and Mao (okay I’m a bit bitter about this), and she’s Yuzuru’s friend?!? (as in she tends to be around him a lot when they meet) 😱😱😱
I’ve vented my thought on the pointless practice of comparing Janny against Yuna/Mao here so I won’t do it again. As for the other points, on sexism and jealousy, yes, I have to admit, those are things (1) I am aware of but (2) I hate and (3) I try to deny because I don’t want to even begin to think that people can be so small-minded and ignorant.
On the first point, let’s just say I truly believe if Janny had been a guy, or if the demographic of the skating fandom had been more gender-neutral, she wouldn’t have received nearly a quarter of the criticism and animosity she’s getting now.
On the second point, about people hating Janny because she gets along well with Yuzu, let us for one moment try to be rational about it. It’s no secret that Yuzu is a skater Janny admires. I don’t see how, in any universe, there can be anything remotely wrong with her trying to be friendly with him or talking to him or giving him presents, especially when Yuzu himself doesn’t seem to be the tiniest bit bothered by it. Also, it’s Yuzuru Hanyu, people, aside from Extra, Sunny Disposition is his other middle name. Have you seen him at galas or some such? He gets along well with literally everybody and he enjoys it. If you by default develop a sense of hostility for anyone who manages to be the target of Yuzu’s affection, that’d mean almost any human or animal who has ever been within a 1-meter radius around him. If by chance Yuzu has ever shown to be a tiny little bit nicer to Janny, isn’t it also quite understandable? She’s a good skater and I bet Yuzu does know good skating when he sees it, bless his taste. She seems such a sweet girl off ice and of freaking course she’s so damn pretty. Why on this good face of Earth would a 22-year-old healthy non-psychotic dude be anything less than perfectly happy about getting the attention of such a lady?
But, oh well, as said, that’s what you’d see if you’re being rational. What you’d see if you are not, I don’t know and I really don’t want to know.
Here’s Janny and Yuzu hugging because why ever the hell not?
(and I’d like to point out the very important technical detail of the Yuzuru Hanyu initiating the hug in the first place)
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Hey, I love your writing! I think I've consumed everything at this point. Do you have any favorite stories you can recommend? I may have blasted through all the fic updates of my own faves and just looking to see if people are reading stuff I might have missed. Looking forward to your next updates! No pressure!
Anon!
First, I am so very sorry it’s taken me so damn long to answer this.
I actually did answer it - I wrote a very long, very beautifully gif’d post and then accidentally scrolled left on this stupid macbook and I lost the entire fucking thing and I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window.
::calming breaths::
Let us pray that doesn’t happen again this time (I am a klutz, so it’s a definite possibility). Secondly, I decided that now is the perfect time to recreate this answer because a) there are some goddamned talented ass writers out there killing the game rn, b) there are also haters out there trying to steal our joy rn and not only is it not going to work, I think now is a good time to spread the love as far and wide through Richonne as possible, so reblog the shit out of this and get reading if you haven’t already and c) I don’t have time to write the way I want at the moment so I hope this makes up for it.
I also really really need a list I can return to b/c I signed up to read a lot and am still verrry slowly getting through it.
So! Here goes…
Current Favorite Richonne fics…!
1. Round After Round by @nattah-gudgrrl
ZA Canon - Rick and Michonne after 6x10, being domestic and sexy af, round after round.
Holy crap, Anon. I was hooked from the first few words. I’m not finished yet, but this is incredibly sexy and beautifully well-written. Nattah’s writing is hypnotic and poetic. She drops precious gems throughout each chapter with her words, the way she phrases things is so original and addictive. Rick and Michonne are pitch perfect, but so is everyone else (and she’s hilarious, btw). She includes music to score her amazing writing, and trust me, listening to her suggested tracks while reading will only suck you deeper into the tantalizing atmosphere she’s created with these two. AND THE SMUT. HOLY SHIT. Prepare yourself. I love opening up to a chapter and letting myself fall. I almost feel like I need to smoke a joint, turn out the lights, and close my door reading this, no joke. (no seriously, i’m not joking, be alone b/c you will feel thangs down there)
2. Musings of Rick Grimes by @nyese3529
NonZA AU - Rick as a NYC photographer slowly falling head over heels for a charismatic college student Michonne as she becomes his muse.
OKAY. I’m not sure anything I say here will do this amazing piece of fanfiction justice. I’m not even caught up, but the chapters I have read so far are PURE FIRE. Nyese is a master at unfolding a real, atmospheric, moody, sexy, intense, and totally riveting Rick and Michonne for us to fall in love with from the start. Rick’s attraction to Michonne leaps off the page, as does she. She is so damn cute and sexy and seeing her through Rick’s eyes the way Nyese has written them is just to die for. Nyese also NAILS New York City life, especially as a southern transplant and artist (I feel you Rick) AND as a young, gifted black woman looking to make a difference while everyone else covets her light (I feel you Michonne). It’s a beautiful read, and I encourage you to ASAP. The smut is off the chain, as in every fucking moment of it had me squirming around wishing I had me a Rick Grimes here in NYC damn you Nyese you’ve ruined me!
3. The Art of Control by @avintagekiss24
NonZA AU - Rick as a sexy, wealthy contractor Dom and Michonne the comic book shop/cafe owner as his sub in Atlanta (bonus: featuring probably the best version of Maggie I have ever read)
GOTDAMN. Let me tell you something. THIS IS THE SEXIEST RICK GRIMES OF ALL TIME FOR ME. Every fucking word Miss Kiss wrote for him to utter had my panties wet and my brow sweating, do you hear me? This fic is hot as fuck. Even before Rick Grimes shows up in the story, I was feeling hot and bothered about his mere existence, just like Michonne. The way Miss Kiss writes the buildup throughout their relationship is simply riveting. She’s a very visual writer, just like Nyese, so I can see, taste, feel, and ground myself in this stunning world of money, undeniable attraction and absolutely delicious sex. AND DID I MENTION HER MAGGIE IS SEXY AF, FUNNY AF, NAUGHTY AF, AND GODDAMN IT I WOULD SO BE HER PLAYTHING?? The plot is really good, too, like really good. Screw 50 Shades of Garbage. Miss Kiss’s sub!Michonne and Dom!Rick Grimes are what you want, what you need, what you deserve. Go forth, and savor every moment of this. In fact, I need to catch up, myself. Hell yeah.
4. Sirens of the ZA, by @isisnicole
ZA AU - Michonne and her two sisters, fierce, trained fighters, find and protect Carl. Richonne begins to develop once Carl is finally reunited with Rick three years later.
Sigh, I love this fic. Miss Isis hooked me with her stellar opening, and the plot just got more and more compelling the more I read. Carl is still very Carl, but he’s got that “loved, protected, and taught to survive by three amazing black women” vibe to him that makes my heart melt. Ila, Luna, and especially Michonne are just everything in this. EVERYTHING. Their relationship is tight af, they keep it real, they are badass warriors (trained, medal-winning warriors, mind) and even though your heart yearns for Rick and Carl to reunite and for Richonne to soar, you cannot help but fall in love with the family dynamic that Miss Isis has written for them with Carl. The tension between Rick and Michonne is even more intense in this than in canon when they first meet, I’d say, but deliciously so. And once they both start to realize the business, it’s time to pull out the popcorn because the buildup is sooooo good. And did I mention an alive Shane and Merle, also written so well you kinda sorta forget they didn’t make it in canon? Yeah. Read this.
5. Red Dirt Road by @siancore
NonZA AU - Young!Richonne in southern af King County, Georgia, teenagers that fall in love one summer along a red, dirt road.
Honestly, this fic is just perfect. The world is real. I can smell the dirt. I can feel the heat. Rick in this is juuuuuuuust….! He’s everything we think of when we think of a teenaged Rick (but not underage of course). Kind, responsible, stoic, patient, respectful, and sexy. Michonne is a vessel for us all, transporting us back in time to when we went to our grandmama’s house and she bossed us while loving us like nobody else could. The whole gang is there and they’re all written to perfection, especially Shane. He’s as shady and selfish and yet completely charismatic as you’d expect a young Shane to be. The story is so sweet and the pacing is comfortable, fun, and easy, just like those summers we spent messing around with our friends, falling in love, learning to drive, staying out after curfew. I adore Sian’s writing and this is by far my all-time favorite of hers right now. It’s a must, must read!
To Continue Reading, So Help Me…!
1. HALO, by leeeel
Holy smokes. I have only read chapter one so far and it is absolutely amazing. AMAZING. I reeeeaalllyy need to get back into this one. Rick and Michonne meet under dire circumstances, and the mystery begins. The writing transports you, and I actually got chills reading this. CHILLS.
2. Deception by @severelybabykryptonite
YO. I HIGH KEY LOVE “THE BODYGUARD” AND THIS IS THE RICHONNE VERSION AND IT IS EVERYTHING. Rick as a no-nonsense bodyguard to Michonne’s sexy, vulnerable star is a dream come true. I really need to catch up on this one, it’s just so good and it’s visual and it makes my geeky movie+Richonne loving heart soar.
3. The Day I Met You, by @chezza3009
I almost don’t know how to describe this one. It’s dark. It’s riveting. It’s nothing like I’ve ever read in Richonne before. Rick and Michonne in the aftermath of an affair that leaves Michonne devastated and Rick a mess. I don’t recognize this version of Michonne or Rick, but then I need to continue reading. What I’ve read so far makes me very, very intrigued by this story. And it shall have my undivided attention ASAP.
4. The Beginning, by @vegasloversteel
Once again, Vegaslover has an uncanny ability to hook you with great story telling, dialogue that flows like “how is she doing this??” and chemistry between Rick and Michonne that vibrates off the page. Richonne is hot hot hot in this. Set in their college years with a great plot and fun with all your faves. Gotta catch up!
5. Palm Trees, by @cake-by-thepound
I AM SO UPSET I CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THE JUICY FIC TALK GOING ON ABOUT THIS STORY RN. Arrrrgggh the spoilers I’ve seen alone are killing me not so softly. I just loooove the way Cake writes Richonne’s worlds. Rich, grounded, dramatic but in a real, honest-to-goodness “that could totally happen to me” way that makes me want to stand up and cheer. I know this is going to be a beautiful ride, so far everything I’ve read is perfection, as usual, so I’m really looking forward to the day I am finally caught up and I can (too late, of course) dip into the forums and be like “GURL. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PART WHEN…”
You Thought I Was Done? LOL.
These are the stories I haven’t gotten to yet, but that are also on my list. I’ve heard nothing but good things and I am hoping to get to them soon!
Right Where We’re Supposed to Be by @tigerwalk3 - I’ve read her mini-fic Sparklers and I cannot wait to dive into this one. Her characterization alone is amazing, and the way she puts phrases and details together makes me low key jealous.
Honey Bees by @cranesinthe-sky - I don’t get enough Michonne and Judith in my fandom diet and I’ve heard some really awesome things about this one. I’ve heard nothing but praise for Lady Cranes’ writing, so I’m excited!
The TWD Chronicles by @yellehughes - I read Yelle’s Richonne Secret Fantasy fic and loved it, and I actually feel rather ashamed that I haven’t gone back to dive into this epic Olympian take on Richonne!! Allow me to correct this, with the quickness.
The Hunter of Screams, by @codename-me - I started this, and holy crap is it amazing so far. Like me, Lady Codename has a thing for sci-fi and fantasy, and her writing is rich and detailed and visual, which totally turns me on.
The End of Wanting, by @glowysweetfab - I have started this, and love this period AU, it’s immersive and the plot is so interesting I’m not even all that fussed to get to the romance bits (well that’s a lie, of course I’m trolling for smut but I’m really enjoying the ride).
Honestly, there are so many more stories I have favorited/followed that it would take me all night to list them all here. But I will do more posts like these as I finish fics and move on to others, it’s important to me to show the same support for all of these amazingly talented writers that they have shown to me, and to spread as much positivity as possible because they deserve it.
This fandom is chock a block full of major talent, huge hearts, astonishing intellect, and abundant passion. No one can deny that, and anyone who does is lying.
READ AND WRITE ON, RICHONNERS!!!!
Thanks for the ask, Anon!
-Kendra
P.S. I promise I will get back to updating as soon as I can. I’m in the middle of preparing myself to move across the country and transition to a new career. But my beloved fics are always on my mind, and boy do I have such glorious Richonne in store for you! Thanks for sticking with me! I promise you won’t regret adding a few of these ladies to your reading list, either, if you haven’t already.
#richonne#fic rec#fanfiction#kendrawriter reads very slowly she is sorry that she's such a weirdo#updates#rick grimes#michonne#smut#plot#damn good writing#asked#answered
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I don’t watch every con panel, not even J2 even though I’m a Jensen!girl.
After the huge shitstorm on twitter and even in some media about J2 after SPNNOLA, I had to watch the panels myself though. I recommend that to everyone btw, who only builds their opinion on just a small video snippet of a panel or even just a single tweet.
And I genuinely recommend everyone to watch the panels anyway, because they were FUN!
Gold panel:
The boys joking about Jared’s “n’awlins” accent is so cute. Them doing accents is always great entertainment!
J2 thanking the fans for the EW covers. They are so thankful and appreciative of our support. No matter what they accomplish, they always credit us fans and take time to thank us for our devotion. That they’re still so humble about their success is amazing.
Jared: “I don’t know how subscribing a magazine works anymore.” – Jensen: “You sign up and they send you one.” I just love Jensen’s deadpan humor! Jared talking about how his mom is so happy for him being on the cover - awww <3
Ahhhhh noooooo don’t kill the kitty, Jensen!! Bad Jensen. LOL.
“Jensen is a master of his voice.” – of course he is. What the hell isn’t he good at?!
Really interesting hearing them talk about voice acting. And I must say, I do enjoy the image of Jensen doing it with just his coffee in his hand and in underwear ^^
J2 being like “come here” to Alex, when he asked about cons. YES!! Bring him to one!
Jensen saying he already likes the holy water joke, because there’s a pun in there. And Jared doing the interrupting sloth. Gotta love those dorks!
The way Jensen immediately perks up and is really attentive when the fan mentions Danneel!
Dean “Boom Boom” Winchester. YES!!!
Jensen talking about home is the cutest!!! Danneel handing him the keys to “EVERYTHING” once Jensen gets home and then driving off… the way Jensen fondly jokes about it and then says that sometimes it does feel like it (wahhh they must miss home and their families so much and the little time they get together must feel too short all the time) and then he gets serious and says it’s actually him asking Danneel “what do you need me to do?”… such a good husband and dad <3
JENSEN MENTIONING FIREFLY – I LIVE FOR THIS!
“Potty words.” Oh Jared. LOL.
The pirate joke is always cute.
And now to that moment: now that I’ve seen it, my thoughts on it: First of all, Jensen genuinely tried to shut Jared down, his “no” was definitely serious. Jared then warned everyone that his joke is “really offensive”. People still kept cheering him on and asking him to tell it. He did. And yes, it was offensive. But yes, it was also a joke. Nothing more. Just to get some perspective on this: How many of you who are now dragging them over the coils for that joke, have played Cards against Humanity for example? How many of you have laughed at all those horrible, inappropriate things that came from that game? Knowing exactly how offensive it is? Just think about that for a second. Also Jensen’s “Mr. Cosby” … how many of you are still making jokes about Trump and retweet memes and stuff about Trump? In all seriousness, there’s nothing to joke about what Trump is doing. But sometimes people have to laugh. That’s it. SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE? The double standards of some people are astonishing and it always gets me.
Jared talking about how Odette likes to play with his beard. CUTENESS ALERT!
“Alex has plenty of stories to tell already.” – Then let’s get him to a con ASAP!!!
J2 are always so thoughtful answering the acting advice question. No matter how many times it gets asked, they don’t look bored by it and they always take it serious. They want other people to succeed and give them the best advice they can. Every single time. It amazes me sometimes that they don’t get fed up with questions like this that get asked so often, but they’re always gracious and genuine in their response and I think it’s really sweet and a testament to their characters.
We as a fandom could learn from that, in my humble opinion.
Main panel:
Jensen’s chant. DAMN!! Great mood from the beginning. Love him!
Jared’s story about getting lost in New Orleans and meeting that person who thought he’s only dressed up as Sam Winchester had me laughing.
I know prank questions are getting old, but this time there was actually a good prompt to ask it with Alex being new on set. I giggled at Jensen describing it as “welcome package”. Also let’s hope we get that extra long gag reel!!!!
J2 teasing Misha. I know some people don’t like it. But the thing is, I see most people who say they’re done with it blaming J2 for giving fuel to the Misha haters and that being the reason they don’t like it. Two things that go through my mind at that every time: You shouldn’t blame friends joking about each other for the actions of other people! And the haters will ALWAYS find something to use for their agenda. Everyone with two eyes can see that J2M are true friends. Just watch the jibcon panels and their live streams and stuff – these guys love each other. No matter WHAT J2 might say about Misha, it won’t change a hater’s mind. Nothing will. So let the boys joke about each other. Like Jensen once said: “We prank you as maliciously as we do, because we like you the best.”
Also here we go with the double standards again: Everyone getting so offended over the offensive joke in the gold panel, but laughing about Jared calling Jensen Misha’s toy? Sexualizing and dehumanizing him? So to those who get angry about the first one and start laughing and squeeing about the second one: Please explain to me why that’s okay? I guess when it fits shipping purposes everything’s fine? Idk… but that’s what I get from it. Jensen’s initial reaction was a double take and a “you did not just say that”-look. But of course Jensen went with the joke and that’s what I love about all of them: They can take a joke, they laugh about each other and even more about themselves, they make us laugh in the process, they aren’t afraid to makes themselves look silly. It’s all in good fun. I’m so done with fans trying their hardest to turn everything into a bad thing. Isn’t this supposed to be our source of fun and sometimes an escape from reality?
“I shift myself.” Oh Jared. LOL. Jensen stopping Stephen from making the badum tsss at that joke and then apologizing for their lame jokes. PLEASE DON’T EVER CHANGE GUYS!!!
Loved the question about Dean and Jack, Dean’s emotional state and how Jensen thinks about it. I seriously live for hearing Jensen talk about his acting choices and about Dean’s headspace. How he describes anger as a stage of grief – everyone who calls Dean a meanie for his behavior with Jack: Please listen to Jensen here, he’s really an emotionally intelligent man and has a great understanding and instinct for human emotions. I’m also curious about him teasing that the relationship between Dean and Jack will change.
Jensen’s instant reaction of “NONONONONO” to destroying the Impala in episode 2x02 makes me so emotional. This scene is one of those that will always stick with me, it’s so raw and brutal and Jensen was incredible!
It’s also interesting to hear about how they filmed that motel room scene in episode 10x23. That they trashed the room first and then Jensen had to match the destruction they already created for the first takes. I’m laughing at him describing how he threw something against that picture frame and instead of crashing it was hanging perfectly after it. - “He is the one.” – DAMN RIGHT! :)
And Jared chiming in how funny it would’ve been if it had been on purpose and them miming how they put everything into place. LOL.
Look how sweet and happy they look for that girl spending her birthday at the con and having the time of her life. They love seeing other people happy. Adding something to their happiness. They’re good beans.
Jensen admitting that he’s an awful liar and to ask his wife. LOL. Someone ask Danneel about it at the next con she’s at!! (She needs to come to more, pleeeease!!)
Jared fangirling over Sam’s hair, Jensen joking that it’s gray and then making all those faces behind Jared (what an adorable clown!) and then going on to say “I pinch my… side”, that pause and his face after it!! Jensen has such amazing comedic timing, it’s gold!!!
Jensen explaining his reaction to when he sees his own performance on screen, especially emotional ones is so great. How he feels and taps into that emotion again when watching the scene and how much he loves his character (HE’S DEAN’S NUMBER 1 FAN!!!). Also their approach in preparing for a scene and how it fits their characters so well was truly interesting. Jared endlessly preparing and researching, just like Sam. While Jensen does it more on instinct, just like Dean. Gotta say here, that this is why I’m a Jensen/Dean fan. You notice that in his performance all the time and the authenticity he brings to each of Dean’s emotions is always tugging at my heartstrings.
Remembering Kim is always so sweet. They have so many nice things to say about Kim and I found it touching that they’re honoring him so much and credit him for their success.
JENSEN LOVES STRANGER THINGS!!! :D
The boys teasing Heather… from… Colorado. I’m laughing so hard. I love that they do this kind of thing (though I’d probably die if they started teasing me like that at the mic). The tease and joke with us fans, like we’re really friends/family.
Jared sharing so much about his struggles and his family is always special. I admire him for being so open and I’m thankful for everything he shares with us.
Jensen acknowledging that it’s good that people don’t feel ashamed of getting help, that it’s not about that person being crazy or that there’s something wrong with them. Acceptance is the biggest thing he wants to teach his children and I admire that. Also how his children should feel love and give love is a beautiful thing to say and to live by.
That they use gifs of themselves so often, especially Jared with the Loreal one, is so funny to me.
Jensen geeking out that they’re so popular because there’s so many gifs of SPN – WHAT A CUTIE OMG!
Jensen joking with that girl when she says her favorite gif is the one of Crowley saying “I torture all my friends, it’s how I show love.” His reaction: “What does that say about you? I like it. Text me. Colorado Heather has my number.” I’M DYING HAHAHAHAHA
Jensen & classic rock – YES! “I named my kid Zeppelin!” LOL.
“I like big butts.” – “I’ve put everything I have into Sam.” … Lots of dirty jokes and innuendo. Gotta love them.
“What would Dean do?” … Jensen totally is Dean’s number 1 fan.
I like how respectful Jensen speaks about Bob Singer’s directing. No matter what you think about Singer personally, I love how much Jensen admires other people’s skills and praises their good work.
Good points from Jared about Sam and Jack’s relationship as well. Especially liked how Jared said we don’t actually really know where Sam stands right now. It’s truly unclear how much Sam is about using Jack or caring about him and what he expects from taking Jack under his wing.
LET’S KEEP PUSHING FOR THE SPN MOVIE!!
The last question: Love that the scene with Baby’s backseat wasn’t scripted!
Bottom line: I really enjoyed both panels. J2 were in a great mood and there were some really interesting questions. Watching the panels made me wish that it’s February already so I can be at a con again and enjoy their panels in person <3
#j2#SPNNOLA 2017#NOLACON 2017#jensen ackles#jared padalecki#my thoughts#double standards#annoy the hell out of me#loved their panels
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SJM HATERS: try to prove to me that acomaf isn't feministic, that tog series is the most terrible thing that has ever happened, that both manorian/rowaelin are abusive and derogratory to manon/aelin, that aeodion bisexuality wasn't hinted in the books AND ON TOP OF THAT that i somehow can't enjoy both sjm books and six of crows series
ME:..........did we even read the same books oh my god just stop please I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT, WOMEN BEING SUBMISSIVE IN BED DOESN'T MAKE THEM ABUSE VICTIMS!!!!
IT'S NICE TO AUTHORS TO WRITE STORIES ABOUT LGBT+ COUPLES IT'S REALLY GREAT BUT THERE IS NO LAW THAT FORCES THEM TO DO THAT- THE BOOK ISN'T INHERENTLY AUTOMATICALLY TERRIBLE IF THERE ARE NO LGBT+ COUPLES IN IT !!!! KILLING TWO POC DOESN'T MAKE A SERIES IN WHICH PEOPLE DIE ALL THE TIME BAD
AND WHAT IS WITH AELIN HAS NO FEMALE FRIENDS? EXCUSE ME? NAHEMIA???? AFTER WHOM SHE WAS GRIEVING LIKE AFTER A DEATH OF LOVER??? LYSANDRA??? BTW LYSANDRA/AELIN RELATIONSHIP IS ONE OF THE BEST F/F FREINDSHIPS DEVELOPMENTS I'VE EVER SEEN BTW WHEN YOU'E BITCHING ABOUT AELIN - AELIN IS AN ABUSE VICTIM WHO HIDES HER WOUNDS UNDER ARROGANCE AND CONFIDENCE AND WHO IS HURTING AND HEALING AND STILL LEARNING TO BE BETTER ; WHO IS RUTHLESS BECAUSE SHE WAS BROUGHT TO BE THAT WAY BUT WHO STILL CARES FOR HER FRIENDS AND HER PEOPLE AND THE PROMISES SHE MAKES. REMEMBER THE SLAVES SHE SAVED???? APPARENTLY NOT????
ALSO, HOW THE HELL SENDING CHAOL AND NERSYN OFF FOR ONE BOOK IS SUCH A BAD THING??? HE HAD HIS OWN ARC NOW?? HIS STAND ALONE BOOK??? IS IT REALLY THE WORST THING THAT COULD’VE HAPPENED TO HIM?? HOW IS NERSYN REDUCED TO LOVE INTEREST?? SHE’S YET ANOTHER AELIN’S FRIEND AND AN AMZING CHARACTER OF HER OWN??? WHERE DO YOU GET THOSE THINGS???
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ACOMAF; HOW SJM SHOWN HOW TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND PTSD WORK - HOW SHE SHOWN M A L E R A P E V I C T I M AND F E M A L E E M P O V E R M E N T ( FEYRE’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? MOR’S STORY??? ) AND MEANING OF FAMILY
I’m really sorry for caps and for screaming. But I just can’t bear the fact that you call the author of the most feministic book I read in 2016 ( ACOMAF) a literal homophopic racist transophobic ( how??? bc there are no trans ppl in her books, that makes her transophobic) and fake feminist. You may not like her books, you are free to enjoy whatever you want. But don’t throw around fake information just because you don’t like a certain ship or a character.
SJM books aren’t perfect, because no books are truly perfect. But they’re damn good for me and don’t you try to paint me as a villan for this.
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Prompt: we’re both prefects and we broke up a food fight in the great hall, but it got messy and dungbombs were involved, and now we’re both disgusting and in immediate need of a bath, and it’s okay, we can both use the prefects’ bathroom at the same time, i promise i won’t look
(btw, heads-up for a Brooklyn Nine Nine reference!)
"What the hell...?"
"Rizzoli!"
"Isles!"
"Get your house in order!"
"Don't tell me what to do! Get YOUR damn house in order!"
Maura dodged a large spoonful of mashed potatoes from one of the Weasley twins, which wound up smacking Vincent Crabbe square in the face. Jane saw a mischievous glint flash through the anger in Maura's eyes, and Jane flared up.
"You wanna go? Throw something at me, Queen of the Dead, bring it on!" When Maura did nothing but continue to glare, Jane said, "I'll even strike first!" and she grabbed a turkey leg and threw it at Maura.
Maura whipped out her wand and silently halted the turkey leg mid-air before letting it fall to the ground. "You'll have to wake up earlier in the morning than that, Rizzoli, if you want to-"
This time, Jane grabbed a handful of mashed yams, and Maura learned the hard way that a freezing spell was not very effective against less solid food. It splattered not only her face but her pristine clothing, and for several moments she was frozen in shock.
"I think you broke her," Angelina observed. "Well done!"
Jane wanted to laugh, but couldn't tell if Maura was still angry and thus if laughter would be cruel. Her face was covered by too many yams to be able to read her expression. In the blink of an eye, she magicked an enormous bowl of Brussel sprouts at Jane, where they pummeled her as painfully as paintball bullets. While Jane was distracted trying to fend them off, Maura picked up a spinach quiche, walked over, and smashed it in her face.
"How's that?" Maura asked, yelling over the food fight intensifying around them.
Though she was laughing, Jane sputtered, "Well I hate spinach and I don't love quiche, so..." She wiped the gooey green substance out of her eyes and tried to blink.
Maura moved close enough to whisper in her ear: "Oh, that's too bad." She ran her finger down Jane's cheek and sucked the quiche off. "I really love it." She winked before she walked back to her table, leaving Jane rooted to the spot.
The food fight had gotten so loud and out of control, nobody - not even Jane's friends - had noticed one of Slytherin's prefects coming on so strong to one of Gryffindor's.
Maura jumped when something wet was sloshed against her backside; she turned to see Jane holding the now-empty bowl of yams, which she promptly dropped as she walked to the Slytherin table.
"D-do you like yams?" she asked, her hand wavering near Maura's waist. "I could clean that up for you if you want."
Maura pursed her lips, trying to fight off a smile. "Big, bad, brave Gryffindor," she murmured.
They had been dancing around a mutual attraction for weeks, and this was the most direct Maura had ever been with her. Jane was so warm, she felt like she was on fire - which she soon realized she was. She jumped and looked around for something to douse her robes with, and then remembered her wand. She was about to put it out with a charm, but Maura had acted first, dumping a vat of mulled apple juice on her robes.
Jane meant to thank her, but then she saw a chafing dish at the floor near her feet. "Did one of your heathen students throw that at me?"
"Is one of those awful ginger twins about to throw a dungbomb?!"
Most of the teachers had filed out of the Great Hall before this all began. Dumbledore contended that a food fight was a healthy way for the students to exhaust themselves of nervous energy, and he was too absorbed in his magazine to pay much attention to the goings-on. The only remaining faculty were the heads of houses, on hand in case any of their students got dangerously rowdy.
"Oh, I think I've seen quite enough!" snapped McGonagall, leaning over Dumbledore to look at Snape. "Gregory Goyle just threw a chafing dish and the fire under it at Jane Rizzoli!"
"Don't work yourself into a dither, Minerva," he said, not returning her gaze but rather staring out into the melee with boredom. "Rizzoli may be muggle-born, but I believe after more than four years of magical education, she ought to be up to the task of completing a simple dousing charm - or are you worried your prefect isn't capable of such a simple-"
There was a small explosion, and almost the entire student body fled the Great Hall. George's dungbomb had gone off, a new prototype he and Fred had developed over the summer which was more powerful and painful than any other on the market. When the rotten-egg-smelling smoke had cleared, Jane and Maura were revealed to be the only students left in the hall. Both were trying to locate the dungbomb with the intent of vanishing it.
McGonagall and Snape approached, looking none too pleased; both appeared to have conjured a full-body of a Bubblehead charm, which Jane and Maura assumed was intended to keep the dungbomb’s stench from sticking to them.
"I would have hoped for better behavior from prefects!" McGonagall said, eyeing the food splattering both girls' clothes. "Would either of you care to offer an explanation for this disaster?"
Out of devotion to their students and a desire not to be a tattle-tale, neither spoke at first.
"Miss Isles?" Snape prompted her.
"Well, Harry Potter started it by throwing a turnip at Draco Malfoy," she said. "But-"
"Potter, hm?" said Snape, shooting McGonagall an unsurprised look.
"That's only because Malfoy called his friend a mudblood!" Jane protested. Glaring at Snape, she missed the sympathetic expression on Maura's face. "If you ask me, Malfoy's lucky it was a turnip and not a hex!"
"Such tolerance in Gryffindor house," Snape said with a sneer. "If you truly believe hexes are the answer to name-calling, perhaps you would be better-suited for Durmstrang, rather than the office of a Hogwarts prefect."
Jane looked at McGonagall incredulously, and her head of house did not disappoint: "You would do well to ensure your students know the difference between name-calling and blood epithets, Severus," she said. "And that goes for you as well, Miss Isles. It would behoove you and Miss Rizzoli to learn how to better de-escalate inter-house tension."
"Yes ma'am," Maura said, staring resolutely ahead.
"Which class are you off to?"
"Defense against the Dark Arts."
McGonagall's nostrils flared at the thought of her students, especially the beloved Jane Rizzoli, being subjected to the awful woman posing as a professor for that course. "Yes - well, as punishment for failing to meet our expectations as prefects, you will both be one class behind your classmates."
"What's that now?" Jane asked in confusion.
"In case you have failed to realize it, Miss Rizzoli, the pair of you smell worse than a squid ruminating on spoiled beets," McGonagall went on. "Subjecting your classmates to this stench would no doubt be a dark art of its own, and I insist you both take this next period to bathe and cleanse yourselves. I will speak with Professor Umbridge about your absence; rest assured, this is a house matter."
Snape merely nodded his consent, and Jane and Maura turned to leave the Great Hall together.
"I feel like McGonagall kind of gave us a break back there," Jane said once they were far out of earshot.
Maura looked tense. "Normally the thought of skiving off class would give me hives, but I have to admit I doubt we're missing anything by skipping Umbridge. What a joke."
"What a jerk, more like," Jane scoffed. "We're probably on the brink of war any day now, and she doesn't want us getting any practical experience!"
"An utter embarrassment. I've taken to practicing spells myself between classes, since she's so useless. I even give myself homework sometimes," she admitted with a small laugh.
Jane chuckled too. It was easy to picture Maura holed up in a classroom, teaching herself hexes and spells on her own. She seemed like a solitary person, which Jane could only imagine was by design. After all she was a beautiful, intelligent pureblood in Slytherin; Jane was sure there must've been dozens of kids in that house dying to be her friend. Jane was tempted to tell Maura about Dumbledore's Army, because surely defense against the dark arts was best practiced with other people. But she wasn't sure how thrilled the others would be with a Slytherin joining the group.
"How come you're nice to me?" Maura asked out of nowhere.
"What?"
"Most Gryffindors wouldn't buddy up to a Slytherin if their lives depended on it."
"Most Gryffindors are stupid that way. Don't tell them I said that, though." She smiled when that got Maura to chuckle. "What about you, Isles? You're in Slytherin, but you don't seem to be a muggle-hater or otherwise a dick."
Maura laughed again, but this time it was sour. "You know what I am?"
"Hot?"
Maura stopped in her tracks, as did Jane, who looked horrified that the word had slipped out. After a few moments of painful awkward silence, Jane cleared her throat and kept walking.
"Do you think so?" Maura asked, sounding pleased.
"What were you going to say?"
Maura smiled, deciding to leave it for now and show that Slytherins could be nice. "I am ambitious, I’m resourceful, I’m determined, I'm intelligent, I'm loyal but prefer to work alone, I'm very hardworking and I take pride in my accomplishments. I'm also a pureblood," she added as an afterthought.
"So it's kind of like a rectangle-square thing," Jane said.
"A what?"
"It's like Slytherins and bad people. How all rectangles are squares, but not all squares are rectangles." When Maura did nothing but frown, Jane sighed, "this is why wizards need to teach their kids math. It's basic geometry."
"I get your intended point, I just think it's a flawed syllogism," Maura snapped. "You're saying that because you know me, you know not all Slytherins are bad. And believe me, I know, my house has a reputation. But with your analogy, all bad people are Slytherins?"
"Well...that's just a thing people say, isn't it?" Jane asked awkwardly. "There's not a witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin?"
"What half-baked, prejudiced first year did you overhear saying that?" Maura balked. "You really think that every person who was ever sorted into Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Gryffindor has gone on to be a total angel?"
It was hard to imagine any Hufflepuff going rogue, but Jane had to concede Maura had a point. After all, hadn't Harry Potter himself said in their first DA meeting that the wizard who helped Voldemort come back had been a Gryffindor? She shivered at the thought.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That was stupid of me, you're right."
Maura was silent for a few moments, then muttered, "You sound just like my parents."
"What?"
"My parents went to school here, but moved to France after they graduated. That’s where I was born and where I grew up - and where I learned geometry, by the way,” she added snidely. “I was invited to attend Hogwarts and Beauxbatons, but my father had just accepted a position at the Ministry, so we moved to England. All of that is to say, I grew up outside of the anti-Slytherin culture produced here, and I think my parents just took it as a given that I would be a Ravenclaw like they were, so they never discussed the houses much with me. I was so excited to be sorted, and wrote them at once to tell them about it."
"What'd they say?"
Maura chuckled mirthlessly. "I can tell you word-for-word, because the reply was so short: 'We are surprised to hear you are in Slytherin. Good luck with classes.'" She sighed and shook her head. "I went home for Christmas and overheard them arguing one night. One of my aunts refused to visit while I was there. She didn't want her young kids consorting with a Slytherin. That's how I found out I was adopted, actually," she added. "It came up in their fight. My dad implied my birth parents might've Slytherins."
Jane was stunned. "Were they?"
"I don't know, I've never tried to find out anything about them. I just heard my mother mention their pureblood status and then I left. I didn't want to hear anymore. Given my dad's comment and his feelings about Slytherins, though, I'm not sure they're people I want to know." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, that was the last time I went home for Christmas. I don't want to cause any unnecessary family drama just by showing up."
Jane followed Maura to the prefects' bathroom as if in a daze. Coming from such a warm family herself, it was mind-numbing to imagine Maura's could be so distant. Her mind was buzzing, trying to come up with something comforting to say as Maura gave the password for the bathroom ("fizzy lifting drinks") and turned on the nearest faucet for the pool-sized tub.
"Do you wish you'd been sorted into Ravenclaw?" Jane blurted out, desperate for the silence to end.
Maura frowned, undoing her robe. "The Sorting Hat considered putting me in there," she said. "And who knows; maybe if I'd been aware of the deep-seeded mistrust of Slytherins in our society, I'd have asked for Ravenclaw. The Hat could tell I was indecisive and said it thought I could..." She blushed, fumbling with her tie, not wanting to sound conceited. "It said I could really distinguish myself in Slytherin, like I could really be someone special and go far." That had been a very attractive promise to a lonely child desperate to make her neglectful parents proud. "Is it weird that I feel bad for letting down a Hat?"
"Are you kidding? You didn't let anyone down! Except maybe your dipshit parents, but they're dipshits," Jane said, getting Maura to laugh a little. "Come on, seriously. I think you ARE distinguishing yourself. In Ravenclaw, you'd just have been another brain. In Slytherin, you get to be this amazing, intelligent, unique prefect who actually cares about helping out. That food fight may not have been a great example, but most of the time I feel like you have my back. I think you change the way a lot of people see Slytherins."
"Aw, Jane."
"Hm?"
"That's really...that's really sweet!"
Jane tried to act nonchalant. "Yeah, well..."
"Take your clothes off."
"What?!"
Jane's eyes widened when Maura calmly unbuttoned her own shirt and took it off. "Get undressed. Did you forget we're here to rid ourselves of the combined stench of rotten doxy eggs and Stinksap?"
In all honesty, Jane had forgotten. She'd been so swept up in Maura's history that she hadn't been paying attention to where they were going or why they were going there. It wasn't like her to get so preoccupied and oh God is she taking off her bra?!
Maura couldn't contain a giggle when Jane twisted away from her. "Are you getting shy on me, Rizzoli?" she asked, letting her bra slide down her arms. "Or is the thought of having to look at me disgusting to you?"
Jane whipped around to confront this notion- "you know that's not true!" - but quickly finished the full 360 because now Maura was topless and taking off her skirt.
"You weren't planning to bathe clothed, were you?" Maura asked. "I mean, you knew we were coming here."
"Yes, I just wasn't ... thinking this far ahead," Jane said, taking off her tie. "Because I’m stupid. Incidentally, the Hat didn't offer to put me in Ravenclaw."
Maura laughed and walked over to the faucets (Jane pivoted as she moved to avoid seeing her), then turned on one that would leave a thick layer of bubbles over the water. "You were raised in America, weren't you?"
"Yes..."
"Hm, that explains your attitude."
"Oh, ha, ha, the American is a Puritan, very funny."
"What's a Puritan?"
"Never mind."
"Well don't worry, I'm not interested in making you uncomfortable," Maura said (though Jane strongly suspected otherwise). "These bubbles are very dense; you can't see through them. I promise not to look when you get undressed."
Jane took the extra precaution of doffing her clothes behind a large sculpture of a merman. Once completely undressed, she peeked around the side of the statue to make sure Maura wasn't looking. Maura's back was to her, and Jane nimbly stepped into the enormous tub. At the sound of the water shifting, Maura turned around at once.
"There, now was that so bad?"
"This just feels weird."
"Why?"
"Because I like you and I haven't even had the chance to ask you out yet and now we're like wet and naked and only eight feet apart. And no, I can't convert that to meters but you get the idea."
Maura was smiling, but didn't say anything for a few long moments. "So you like me."
"I...I wouldn't have said that if I wasn't pretty sure you liked me too," Jane said, already feeling her resolve might crumble. "Please, don't make fun of me, just be honest with me."
Another long pause, this time with a smile that was harder to read. "How well do you think you know me, Rizzoli?"
Was she about to extend a sultry invitation to get to know her even more? Oh God please yes - God please no - this is exhilarating and terrifying and why am I feeling so dehydrated all of a sudden??
When Jane failed to answer (from nerves but also because she thought it was a rhetorical question) Maura went on, "If you knew me well you'd know I would never make fun of anybody. And as far as the question of whether I like you, I'd say it took you damn well long enough to notice. I've been flirting with you for the entire year."
Although it was what she'd been praying for for the last several months, Jane couldn't believe what she was at last hearing. Her heart felt like it was going to leap out of her chest when Maura swam closer. The water was lukewarm but she was starting to feel red hot - and, unfortunately, it showed.
"You're blushing," Maura observed. "I'm sorry, am I making you nervous?"
"I'm - no, you're not; the situation is," Jane stammered. "I mean, you're really cute and I don't imagine this is embarrassing for you - not that I looked," she added quickly, sure to keep her gaze fixed on Maura's eyes. "But you do look good. I mean, duh. I mean - oh, God..."
"You are so cute," Maura chuckled. “I mean don’t get me wrong; on a physical level, you are sexy as hell.” The fact that she could say this so simply, as if it was an objective certainty instead of a subjective compliment, was a little odd for Jane to process. Maura went on: “But your demeanor, that’s very cute. And I hope that doesn’t sound condescending; I mean I find it... kind of endearing. Given your conduct on the Quidditch pitch and the occasional bravado I’ve seen you put on, I used to assume you’d be cocky. A lot of Gryffindors can be cocky, though, in my defense.”
“Yeah, well. Feeling like you have a moral high ground can do that to a person,” Jane agreed. “So you watch the Quidditch games, huh?”
“I used to prefer taking the time to study, because it basically guaranteed that the common room - or any room - would be empty. But then I learned the Gryffindor team had a very cute Chaser, and I decided I had to check out at least one game.”
“Hm, Johnson? Bell?”
“Are you really going to tease me after I promised not to tease you?”
“I...sorry,” Jane said, averting her gaze. “Humor’s my defense mechanism.”
“What do you need to be defensive about?”
“My own nerves, I guessssshhhhiiit....”
Jane had turned to look at Maura, who was leaning sideways agains the wall of the pool to face her. Maura had innocently let her elbow rest on the edge of the tub, letting her head rest against her fist, and this had resulted in one of her breasts rising above the layer of dense bubbles. After letting herself look a second too long, Jane almost snapped her neck turning it to look away.
“I’m sorry!” Maura squealed, bringing her arm back into the water.
“God, I’m sorry! I feel like a skeeze!”
“You’re not a skeeze, Jane. If I was worried about the possibility of you seeing me, I’d be on the other side of the pool and not letting anything but my head and neck above the bubbles. And you’d be a skeeze if you saw my discomfort and actively tried to make me show myself. Would you be this skittish if you were in here with someone else?”
“Someone I didn’t like, you mean? Probably not.” When Maura started backing away, Jane reached blindly for her hand underwater. She skimmed Maura’s waist before catching her wrist. “Don’t go, though!”
Maura smiled at the gesture. “I was going to distance myself so I don’t make you uncomfortable.”
“No, that’s okay, this is a good kind of uncomfortable.”
“Hm. I didn’t know there was a good kind,” Maura mused. “Discomfort always makes me feel I’ve done something humiliating, or that I ought to hide myself away. What’s the good kind like?”
“Well, it pushes you to do something. Something you’d want to do, but would usually be too shy or too scared to do.”
“And you’re scared to take a bath.”
“Scared to take a bath with you!” Jane said, joining Maura in her laughter. “See, bravery means different things to different people. Sure, for Harry Potter it means fighting off Death Eaters. I’ll get there someday. Right now I’m working on the bravery required to be naked in front of a girl I like before I’ve even asked her out.”
Maura’s immediate response was, “Would you like to go on a date with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not worried about being seen cozying up to a Slytherin?”
Jane paused to make sure she gave an honest answer. “We’ll kind of be like a Hogwarts Romeo & Juliet. Or, hm. I don’t know what the wizarding equivalent of that would be. I mean-”
“I get the reference,” Maura said, not unkindly. “Shakespeare was the focus of our literature unit in Muggle Studies this fall.”
“You take Muggle studies?”
“Yes, I think it’s fascinating. I’m not surprised by your surprise, though; I’m the only Slytherin in the class and Professor Burbage told me she doesn’t generally get a lot of us,” Maura admitted.
“Oh. Huh. I hope we don’t end up like Romeo and Juliet, though.”
“You don’t?”
“Well, no. The play ends with their double suicide.”
“What?! It does?! Why do people like it so much?! Gah...never mind. What I should’ve said was, yeah, I’m sure some people might give me some guff about going out with a Slytherin, but I don’t give a flying bowtruckle fart about that. I’d be proud to be out with you, no matter what house you were in.”
Maura smiled so wide, Jane couldn’t help reflecting it. “Would it be a good or bad uncomfortable if I kissed you?” Maura asked.
“Here? Right now?”
“I can wait.”
“No, no, now’s...that’d be fine. That’d be great. That’d be--”
Jane shut up when Maura took gentle hold of her face. Her gaze dipped from Jane’s eyes to her lips and back again, then she leaned in and kissed her. Jane felt almost suffocated by immediate excitement, overwhelmed by the softness of Maura’s lips and the intensity with which her heart was pounding. The pounding was matched elsewhere when Jane instinctively brought Maura closer, pulling their bodies together. Jane was shot at warp-speed into new realms of pleasure, feeling as dizzy as if transported there by portkey. But within moments, the reality of what she was doing registered with her and she all but vaulted away from Maura, a stream of obscenities tumbling out of her mouth as she turned bright red.
“I concur,” Maura said breathlessly.
Heart still beating rapidly, Jane glanced over at Maura and saw her smiling. “That was... wow. That was wow,” Jane said. “Judging by your expression, I guess I don’t need to apologize. That was just a ... a heck of a lot more than I intended to do.”
“I know,” Maura said, treading a small distance away. “I just can’t wait to come back here with you sometime after you’ve been dating me for a while.” She laughed when something occurred to her. “Maybe I can get some extra credit for my-”
“Don’t say it.”
“-Muggle studies!”
“You dork!” Jane laughed, splashing her.
“Well, as the Bard said: but soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is a dork.”
That one got a genuine laugh out of Jane. She couldn’t wait to see what else Maura had up her sleeves.
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just found out that there are people who hate taylor swift so much that they make videos on youtube explaining why they hate her.
so far I've only watched 3 and wow these girls know nothing about taylor but they hate her so much. I did rant in their video comment sections:
video 1:'why I hate taylor swift' channel: daniella
my rant:
you literally say what you know about taylor is what the media portrays yet that set you off enough to make a video about her being a horrible, fake person. really? fucking really/ there are a lot of parody videos of taylor /fan made videos etc, and they have not been taken down. 1 famous youtubers video gets taken down and yall lose your shit. btw taylor's mgmt team is more than just her. taylor didnt have a guitar teacher. when she was about 11 a computer guy came over to fix her families computer before he left he taught her a few begginers chords then years laters trys to profit off of her name. taylor has a right to me pissed by that. taylor isnt the first or last celebrity to get thing copyrighted. kanye and beyonce for exaple have hunders of things copyrighted. also taylor isnt getting things copyrighted just bc, she's doing it so big companys cant used her image without her knowing. and ps she doesnt have any lyrics that say "party like its 1989" im guess youre getting that confused with prince's 1999, where he says 'lets party like its 1999' its called being HUMBLE do you not know the meaning of the word humble, i guess you dont, futhermore even tho taylor is surprised when she wins, she does not cry every time. and even if she did why does someone crying bother you? she literally wrote a message about why she took her music off spotify saying that "she doesnt need anymore money", she said she "has enough money to pay her dancers from her tour alone' she pointed out how smaller artist, like indepent artist dont get paid properly by spotify bc spotify takes most of the money for themselves, she also said music is art and art should be free.....adele too her music off spotify too, i'll be waiting for your video attacking adele... btw what your obsession with sticks being in asses? this video was pretty much just full of lies instead of going by the medias portrayal of a person how about try and look for the truth. who am i kinding you as well as everyone in the comments dont care about the truth do you? just sad and pathetic really.
video 2: 'why I hate taylor swift' channel: july2ish
my rant:
kim exposed taylor: taylor was not told "i made that bitch famous" she should clarified that was the lyric but she didnt lie --- omg you hate her bc she dated harry are you in 4th grade, he asked her out. "im about feminism" but you hate her for dating hs taylor doesnt like papa following her -- you hate her bc of her wealth --- dont people pay for spotify too???? -- she didnt sue fans they were sent ciest & disist letter until their copyright issues were straighted out --- the guy wasnt a guitar teacher he was a computer guy who came to the familys home and taught her a few chords before he left, and he wasnt sued -- she copyrighted a stylized version of the year 1989 that was made for her tour not the year or number 1989 here is who taylor swift sued: THAT GUY WHO SEXUAL ASSUALTED HER BY PUTTING HIS HAND UP HER SIRT AND ON HER ASS.
video 3: '6 reasons i hate taylor swift' channel: queen maryah watkins productions (comments were disabled so I left this on her channel)
1. her pr team didnt clarify which lyric she was offended by, she thought kanye was going to use "i made her famous" that is what taylor said in the video kim posted. kanye didnt tell her "i made that bitch famous" "perfessional victim" thats some bullshit. she writes aboutr her feeling, a majority of her songs are NOT about breakups but love songs. ps she isnt the only artist to write about break ups 2. taylor's dad invest in big machine records after she signed to the label. shes very talnted, she does work hard and she walked away from a record label who wanted to sign her because they would alway taylor to write her own music so she walk away then was discovered and signed by scott borschetta then her dad invested in big machine records
3. she doesnt have to dance, really why the hell does that matter? no her voice isnt like whitney or beyonce, its softer, she cant do big notes like they do that doesnt mean she can sing. shes a great guitar player why doent you actually watch her play and she plays multiple intruments well as fpr her lyrics she writers masterpieces, listen to something other than shake it off or wanegbt.
and are you really saying you hate her because of her look and her fashion choices do you not hear how petty that is 4. calling out nicki is the ONLY time shes ever did anything like that. and are you seriously mad bc she gets excited for friends accomplishments? ed sheeran is her best friend. she didnt say she was looking forward to controversy, she said she was looking forward to telling people she knew about the song, not about wanting controversy from it. 5. "has not integrity for music.." she wants people to understand that music is art and should be treated as such, as for writing TIWYCF under a fake name, she and calvin agreed to do that together 'catfished, disillusioned, perplexed', are you fucking with me? swifties were excited when we found out taylor wrote it. you think she lies on her album credits bc of one fucking song? my god could you get anymore stupid? 6. im tired of this "greedy" bullshit. its a lie she didnt say she wants more money for youtube y\this is some bull you pulled out of you ass. she literally said in her apple music letter that she did not need anymore money. go fucking read the damn thing its on her tumblr page. i cannot tell you how pathetic and stupid you sound in this video, this video is filled with lies get a fucking life
video 4: 'rant why i hate taylor swift explicit' channel: lacye leuko
her pr team didnt clarify which lyric she was offended by, she thought kanye was going to use "i made her famous" that is what taylor said in the video kim posted. kanye didnt tell her "i made that bitch famous" therefore she did not have full compltee knowledge. kanye deserves shade but her point was to uplift young girls, something she been doing for years, she used kanye lie to her benefit
kanye is an ass who does & says bad things to many people dont act like he doesnt deserve to be shaded.
her rep leak the info, he should have informed first but why does that bother you?
taylor never confirmed bad blood is about katy, katy did that herself. taylor doesnt have a prolem with tina and amy she was just pissed about the joke.
she's not a snake the video proves kanye didnt say 'i made that bitch famous' the lyric she was told ' i made her famous'
nothing was wrong with selena defending her friend.
i cant believe how you and other taylor haters really dont want to see the truth about taylor.
a few etsy fans were sent Cease and desist orders because of copyright issues, there are still thousands a taylor swift fan artwork on etsy. if those copyright issues were fixed those fans art were probly put back on etsy.
the only female she is fueding with is katy and by that i mean, katy keeps findong ways to talk about her but she keeps her mouth shut about katy.
taylor swift: does charity work. ispires many young girls, is a great role model. you know nothing about how she influences her fans for the better. how she gives speeches and messages of positivity to her fans. you know nothing about the reall taylor swift, just tabloids and bullshit
// 'So, About Taylor Swift Getting Put On Blast... Watch white Feminism Work'
channel Sensei Aishitemasu // its a 33 minute video. this person wasted 33 mintues of their time to talk aout why they hate taylor (im definitely NOT going to watch that)
i still said something anyway: im not watching this video bc im sure its bullshit just like the others, but why did you waste 33 minutes of your time to bitch about a pop singer and her "white feminism" you hate taylor swift GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND GROW THE FUCK UP. and black people idk how this little white girl hurt you so damn much, I can say that be im black too and get bullied on twitter by other black ppl who are offended I like this white singer. she doesn't do the things you like, shhes not an activist, she writes breakup song songs, she cant sing like whitney, who tf cares? IGNORE HER!. change the channel, turn off the radio when shes on, don't pick up magazines with her face on them, stay off her twitter and instagram. just fucking leave her alone, its not that hard to do.
i just cant wrap my head around these people having so much hate for taylor. shes a good fuking person. no shes not perfect, yes she makes mistakes but for the ove of god there are worst people than her in the entertainment industry but shes treated like the devil
how does taylor have these people so easily pressed and bothered?
#taylor swift#swifties#why are people so butthurt over taylor swift?#leave taylor swift alone#youtube#swiftie#taylor swift defense squad
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I don't even know anymore....
Its stuff like this that drives me to end my life. For those of you who care ultimaalmighty’s YouTube channel has been taken down so its a sad day for Ultima was youtuber that i looked up to anytime i was down he would bring me back up with his “EPIC REACTION VIDEOS” all was good until he got in a relationship with steph from starbot dubs to cut a long story short so i can get to what i have to say about this whole shit show of a fucking argument steph broke up with ultima and this drove ultima to “sexually harass” 8 other women what happened during their relationship is complete cluster fuck of info from that i am not going to get into there is info on this shit everywhere. Anyways why do i feel this way? why do i feel so conflicted? Why did i get a tumblr blog to post this? Because i am not on ANYONE’S SIDE!! in my opinion both of them have explaining to do beyond blog post and video that ultima made because both of which are biased and just divide the fan base of two of them and just makes everybody look bad on both sides im going to look at both and tell you my opinions on each
About ultima
Ok to be honest I actually side with ultima a bit more but even he did a fair share of things to piss me off. But lets start from the beginning ultima was in a relationship that he did not disclose until this shit started which is the first problem look i understand having a bit of privacy but not telling your fans about this until now was just plain stupid (this also applys to steph) and it made the uncoulded truth video come out of nowhere. Speaking of which that video was actually pretty well done and rather then make me lose respect for him i gained more than i lost because it takes a big man to step up and face and admit what you did wrong and actually try to fix it (even though it was not enough for ANYBODY!) and try to fix yourself by going to see a therapist its rare to see thats nowadays and i admire anybody no matter how big or small the mistake they’ve made i will always at least respect them for trying to make amends. Hell from what i hear he actually sent out private apologies to everbody he hurt so from the look of it things we’re turning around for him. However there was one thing that i can’t for the life of me agree with and thats the way he handled the attack from everybody make no mistake i do like it when someone takes the negative and turns it into a positive impact on themselves but the way he said it on twitch made him sound like a complete and total coward saying that he owes them for helping him realize what he did was wrong is kinda bullshit (for reasons i will talk about later) and the fact that he completely downed the chances of him getting another channel is just a slap in the face to fans like me who want to support him but don’t want to go on twitch to do it. In conclusion i feel like ultima does deserve a second chance and i hope all the best for him i just think he could have done better for his fans if he was a more open about the relationship from the start and did not completely rule out the possibility of another channel. Now for the part that made me want to post this
About starbot dubs and the victims
Now for the real side of the story i wanted to talk about because right now aside from steph i can barely stand any of these people but once again i will go from the top and then I’ll get to the reasons why. As i stated when i was talking about ultima steph should have also informed her fans about the relationship as well (the same points stated previously apply) one thing she should not have done is post the whole story on social media. Now before you say anything NO i don’t think she should have been quite about it but she should not have made public. She should have sent private message if she wanted to warn people without having ultima attacked and so the victims knew what he was capable of instead she posted the whole long story on Tumblr (yeah look whos talking) and hoped people understood that she didn’t want utima crucified. Now we all make mistakes (Ultima) and this definitely counts as one you cant just post somthing like that and hope that people don’t the guy. The people on internet DON’T CARE once they have a chance to shoot they will (i do realize that some people do care but you know what im talking about) which leads me to my next point how they handled it. Ok now we are getting to the good part the copyright strikes look these people have the right to there art ok i realize that (i consider myself to be artist) but in this case they abused the copyright system outright just to get ultima taken off YouTube which is the worst thing you can do in this sener because now people are going to rope them in with those hack developer’s on steam greenlight and don’t give me the excuse that “oh they did because he sexually harassed them” the reasoning does not matter they let him have those videos up until this happened. The moment this happened rather asking him to take the videos down (i don’t know if they did but if so link me the post) they chose to jump strate to the copyright system and take his channel down which put both them and starbot dubs underfire from ultimas fans. I love how they think people are horrible for thinking that “sexual harassment is on the same level as breaking a glass” when the real reason is probably because before all this happened ultima was a well respected youtuber with a loving fan base and if you think that everybody would just turn on him you might just have to rethink how the human mind works they are NOT stupid they just care about and are willing to look past that because to you he may be a manipulator to others he’s still the same stand up guy they know and love to the point where i saw someone who made a music cover dedicated to him (the music video is called Farwell Ultima not my cup of tea but still…damn) that alone says how much people care about him and to be honest i think they’re going too far with the hate and its actually coming off as bullying which is wrong concidering how much ultima has done he always encourages people to support the creater telling people to watch the original video first and wants them to subscribe to creater (also most of the videos he reacts to are fan suggested). Now lets get the part that REALLY pissed me off the ultima farwell stream i was there in the chat just before the stream started and it was going great there was a few haters but they quickly chased out (thanks to yours truly) but then THEY showed up vade maxoutoften hawker and dusty underline once they showed up everything went down hill they were attacking ultima and his fans calling anybody who said anything about them liars in the most immature way possible and the worst thing was once ultima started streaming they went silent and ran like cowards but it got worse when i checked they’re tumblr and the first thing i saw was a fucking fantasy version of the original blog post written by maxoutoften (its called a star story btw) which not only is twisted to make ultima seem like a piece of shit but also completely insalts the original post (even though I didn’t agree with it being poted in the first place)
Speaking of maxoutoften when he was called out for causing shit in the chat he said that he didn’t do anything even though i saw him encouraging dusty to keep going the same applies to the other members of starbot dubs (except steph) they will bully ultima one moment but someone says anything they will ether
A. Say “well he harassed 8 women so its fair”
Or
B. Say they didn’t have to do with it
To both i say BULLSHIT! it is NOT fair to go and harasse ultima and his fans and you did have somthing to do with it you posted the blog and foolishly hoped that no one attacked him so you share some of the blame for it. And this makes you worse then ultima your doing the same thing that he did to his him and his fans and are trying to cover it up atleast ultima had the guts to admit to his mistakes but you will hide under any excuse you get. And now for the final thoughts
Final thoughts
Both sides in my opinion have made a lot of mistakes Ultima does deserved to be punished but not like this vade and the others need to stop being so immature and ultima should make another channel i know it seems like i was on ultima’s side but he didn’t do much to piss me off but what do i know im just some random kid on the internet right….maybe but i know this the only way i see this endding is for Ultima Starbot and the victims to get together and make a blog post about the whole story through and through and for them to reach some kind of understanding and move on it probably won’t happen but thats the only i see this endding peacefully (that or get everybody together and watch the video go home homura your drunk that will cheer them up) and if anybody at starbot dubs has a problem with this post and desides to attack me just remember your only proving my point
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The Thots Of Your Instagram Feed Explained By Bratz Dolls
If there’s one thing we all know about so-called viral makeup trends, it’s that 90% of them are bullshit. Squiggly eyebrows? Show me one person who is actually doing that in public. Just ONE! The people demand receipts! That being said, the latest viral makeup trend that may have slightly more credibility involves doing your makeup to mirror a Bratz Doll, aka what Kylie Jenner does every damn day of her life. We all remember Bratz, the heavily made-up dolls with lip fillers no feet and the most extra looks imaginable. These dolls took the Betches “dress like a slut” philosophy and monetized it for children. The early 2000s really were something, eh? Basically, the Bratz were thots before Instagram launched thotism as we know it today. In hindsight, we can now see clearly that each Bratz doll corresponds to a very real and very special variety of thot who fills our feeds with her selfies daily. Here’s how each of them break down:
Chloe – The Wannabe Thot
Truly a special breed, Chloe—nicknamed “Angel” because she doesn’t get how nicknames work (see: Sami Sweetheart)—wants desperately to be a background vocalist on a local rapper’s mixtape, but is quite simply too white to function. She makes vague references in her Insta photos about being “hard” and her “struggles,” but you remember her from second grade and are pretty sure she grew up in the rich person suburb next to yours. Chloe’s biggest accomplishment are her contributions to thirst-trappery, where she is truly unmatched. Your feed is constantly filled with photos of herself that you are legally required to screenshot and send to your group chat with the text, “You can see her vagina in this, right?!?!” Occasionally, Chloe’s Instagram will go dark because too many people reported her account as porn, but she always comes back with a long screenshotted note directed at “haters” full of strange grammatical choices and vague references to how you “just gotta do you.”
Occupation: Aspiring Pop Star
Insta Bio: “All U Bitches Mad” – My new SiNgLe oUt NoW On SoUndCloud! Link In Bio<3 xoxoANGEL
Example: Iggy Azalea, Niykee Heaton
Jade – The International Thot
Jade, whose nickname is Kool Kat (again, not how nicknames work), wants you to know that she is the ho the phrase “hos in different area codes” is referring to. You keep following Jade mainly because you’re trying to figure out how a person who does not appear to have a job is constantly traveling to different countries. Your entire group chat has basically concluded she’s a high-end escort of some kind, but the rules of feminism state that you must continue to support her by liking her photos in hopes that one day she’ll invite you along on one of her journeys. You know she has at least one boyfriend who is a sultan because of the time she stayed in that spinning hotel in Dubai, and she appears to be on a mission to Instagram herself standing next to every luxury hotel pool on the planet. 20 years from now you’ll check back in on her and find out she’s in jail for smuggling cocaine in her butt and everything will make sense.
Occupation: “Entrepreneur”
Insta Bio: They say a smile is the same in every language, well so is Resting Bitch Face<3 Jetsetter <3 Student of Fashion <3 HMU On WhatsApp
Example: Tila Tequila (Before she became an alt-right Nazi)
Yasmin – The Actually Successful Thot
Yasmin, nicknamed Pretty Princess (can someone put me in touch with a Bratz representative? we need to talk about nicknames…), doesn’t need the thot life for money or food or weight loss tea endorsements. Yasmin is a thot purely for the love of the game, and honestly, you kind of respect it. You started following Yasmin because you were fascinated by her ability to seemingly have erect nipples at all times, but you stayed after she requested you on LinkedIn and you realized she was a low-key successful businesswoman. Sheryl Sandberg by day, Ariel Winter by night, Yasmin’s account is private for a . Does she have her own line of lipsticks that makeup vloggers are raving about? Yes. Is that going to stop her from posting pics of herself in bed with captions like “Come find me ;)?” Hell the fuck no. Is Yasmin a feminist icon, or does her very existence set women back thousands of years? Unclear, but you’re not going to unfollow until you find out.
Occupation: CEO Of Yas Cosmetics
Insta Bio: Follow @yascosmetics for latest swatches! Get money, get paid. Real friends only. Not accepting new follow requests.
Example: Kylie Jenner
Sasha – The Batshit Crazy Thot
You don’t know Sasha IRL, but you are legitimately concerned for her safety. Every other week, Sasha appears to be embroiled in some kind of major crisis, and she has no qualms about sharing every detail of those crises on social media. Bless her heart. There was the time she was moonlighting at a Florida strip club and a loose dog bit her on the leg (“Please donate to my GoFundMe surgery page y’all! My foot is fucked!”). There was the time her ex boyfriend Snoop Dogg (different Snoop Dogg) crushed her apartment with a helicopter (“Venmo me @Sasha2Fierce2Furious y’all! My roof is fucked!). And, of course, there was the time she didn’t post for a few weeks and you were sure she was dead but then her Insta story revealed she just trapped on a boat (Tweet my whereabouts using #FindSasha! Where tf am I?!?! Our navigation tools are fucked!”). Sasha’s life is a beautiful human train wreck, and you have no choice but to follow obsessively and hope you can make it to her funeral. It’ll probably be lit.
BTW, her nickname is apparently “Bunny Boo” and I’m calling the police.
Occupation: “Dancer”
Insta Bio: Bitches Ain’t Shitttttt – http://ift.tt/2wWdJwk to help me find my son!!! where tf is he!?!?
Example: Blac Chyna
Raya – The Religious Thot
Raya, aka Sun Rayz (kill me), was the fifth Bratz doll added to the pack, mainly because she was a full-fledged Christian before that point. Raya was raised in the light of the Lord, but after a fashion-internship-turned-stint-on- took her to New York, Raya has converted to the Church Of Thotism and she is never looking back. But don’t worry, Raya has not fully turned her back on Jesus. Each of her selfies, cleavage pics, and thirst traps are accompanied by a caption like, “God is great!” or “Living in HIS light<3” and she is not above just straight-up posting a Bible verse from time to time. How she reconciles her thot lifestyle with her love of Christ, you’re not sure, but photos of herself at Sunday service in a bodysuit tell you she’s doing just fine. One day she’ll scrub her entire Insta presence and return with an entirely new persona after marrying a secretly gay pastor and popping out a baby named Zion or Abraham or some shit. She’ll act like everyone has forgotten her former thot life, but you have the screenshots to prove it.
Occupation: Homemaker
Insta Bio: The Lord Has Plans For This One Right Here <3, Christian, Future Mommy, 32D
Example: Raven Gates
Read more: http://ift.tt/2wVB7Kw
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2xEUb3i
via Viral News HQ
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Women with Curves: 20 Ways You Changed All Women for the Better
Skinny used to be in, but thanks to women with curves, women can again be beautiful in all shapes and sizes without anxiety or starving themselves.
I love that Meghan Trainor song when she says “I’m just teasing, I know you think you’re fat,” when talking about skinny bitches. I love the newer girl generation. I want to let y’all know that I admire the way that you don’t give a shit about your curves. You know why? Because women with curves rock!
I wasn’t born thin or fat, but what I certainly know was that I not endowed with any curves at all. I believe that growing up, the boys used to refer to me as “flat and easy to screw” *yes, they said it and I didn’t sue for bullying*. But, at the time, teasing was socially acceptable.
I grew up in the Kate Moss era. Kate Moss was the hottest model during my formative years. I was brought up with supermodels who made bulimia and anorexia not only acceptable, it was something to aspire to. The whole “you can never be too rich or too thin” – that was from my generation too. Yep, it was pretty miserable if you were one of the women with curves in my day.
20 reasons why women with curves rule
God bless your generation. You are who you are. You don’t apologize for anything. You don’t play the same games we did, or pretend that you don’t ever sleep around while sleeping around. You also, and this is the most critical component to you, don’t starve yourself to try to obtain something that isn’t only unobtainable, it isn’t healthy or real.
So, to all of you girls out there who eat dessert again, don’t stress about calorie counts, walk around like a zombie because your brain isn’t getting enough oxygen, kudos babe. You have freed us all, and my hat is off to you.
Here’s why women with curves rule.
#1 You aren’t bitchy all the time because you are starving. Have you ever starved yourself? If you watch the walking dead, you totally get it. Like wanting to ravage someone, your anger is quick and fast; you’re constantly ready to pounce and not much fun to be around! [Read: Why men love women and their oh so hot bodies]
#2 You care more about what is on the inside than the size of your jeans. It’s so great, because women with curves aren’t concerned with the size of their jeans… they are worried about better, less shallow things in life.
#3 You don’t look like you could pass out at any minute. Skinny girls have that look about them, like everything is a hassle and merely breathing can make them pass out at any second. But women with curves are full of energy and spirit and aren’t afraid to hop to it!
#4 You aren’t stupid because your brain isn’t getting enough energy to operate. Yes, it is true, depriving yourself of food to be skinny actually makes you stupid. Your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen or energy to run. That is why some skinny girls can seem so spaced out at times. [Read: Should a girl ever dumb it down to impress a guy?]
#5 You aren’t buying into what the media is selling. Another great thing is that women with curves aren’t slaves to anyone else’s ideal of beauty. You are happy with what nature gave you and aren’t about to let any media campaign change that. Wear it loud and wear it proud.
#6 Your selfies aren’t about being in a skinny bathing suit. I HATE girls in bikinis sporting their skinny asses. I’m sorry, if I had wanted to see you in a bikini, I would have invited you to the beach. Which BTW, if you are one of those girls doing it and you look really hot in a bikini, no one is going to be inviting your ass anyway… too much work!
#7 You aren’t a hater, skinny, fat, who cares where anyone else is at. What’s also awesome is that women with curves are accepting of everyone. Not envious that someone can fit into a smaller size than you, you find beauty in all women, big, tall, short, small… it’s all good. [Read: 14 insights into what men want and need in a woman]
#8 You have freed us all to wear skinny jeans, skinny or not. I wouldn’t have been caught dead in leggings in the 90s, so thanks to you for wearing your skinny jeans to show off your assets. You have freed us all.
#9 You are comfortable in your own skin. There is nothing better than being around someone who is happy, confident and feels good in their own skin. They don’t need to talk badly about other girls out of jealousy or put anyone else down to make themselves feel good. You are just okay with letting you be you and letting skinny be skinny.
#10 You aren’t ashamed of the way that God made you, or trying to continually fit a scale. If you haven’t stepped on a scale in years, you are my idol. No woman should define her beauty by what the scale measures. You are just beautiful you. [Read: Well endowed women – The ups and downs of jiggly jugs]
#11 You aren’t chained to a gym. You aren’t that girl who gets out of bed at 9 a.m. on girl’s weekend to take a run by the ocean, or wastes countless hours at the gym sporting your spandex.
It isn’t that women with curves don’t work out and take care of themselves, it is just that they don’t look like they’re training for the Olympics or missing out on so much of life because they are stuck on a treadmill.
#12 You can hit the beach and not worry about sucking it in. You can hit the beach and not suck it in like you haven’t eaten in weeks… it must be so freeing!
#13 You saved my girls from yo-yo dieting. Yo-yo dieting not only makes you dumb mentally, but it also makes it much harder to maintain and lose weight later on in life. Like setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery, thank you for changing things, so my girls aren’t beholden. [Read: How to look better naked – 15 real life tips for instant effect]
#14 You don’t pretend that you have an excellent metabolism in front of the guys and starve yourself around the rest of us. If you want dessert, you have it, and you damn straight aren’t going to just order a salad. God bless you!
#15 If a guy doesn’t like what you look like they can go “f” off. Women with curves have a f*ck-you attitude that just rocks. I wish I had that confidence all the way around.
#16 You brought child-bearing hips back into fashion. Women were supposed to have hips and curves, that is what nature invented us for. Men are attracted to hips and thank goodness you brought them back into fashion. [Read: What men like in women more than anything else]
#17 You don’t define yourself by looking around a room and gauging who’s skinniest *yes, we used to do that*. You don’t think you are superior because you have the major self-control to starve yourself, nor do you admire someone else who does.
#18 Designers can go f*ck themselves because you aren’t going to buy into the “catwalk,” – those girls look ridiculous. I think we can all agree, those models look ridiculous, don’t they?
#19 You are what the female species is supposed to look like – healthy. Having a full figure and curves is what the female body is made for. They signal the male species that you are just ripe for procreation. Your curves are your biggest assets; it is about time that women learned the truth. [Read: 13 physical attraction tips to look way hotter]
#20 An hourglass figure means you have no time to wait for someone. You aren’t into games or letting someone play games with your head. That’s because women with curves just own it, what more can I say?
I have four little girls at home, and I have to admit that I am so happy that they don’t have to grow up in a skinny-obsessed world. Girls today have so much more moxie, aren’t going to spend a lifetime trying to be someone they aren’t, and when they die, aren’t going to think… shit, I should have had that scoop of ice cream.
Most of all, women with curves don’t waste all their time and energy restricting themselves, missing out on meals, and vacations and all the other indulgent things that life has to offer. Most of all, they don’t judge people by their pants size or care about their own. If you own them, you own them; it is as simple as that.
[Read: How to flaunt your plus size curves and rock it with confidence!]
One more time, thanks for saving my girls from eating disorders, buying the media hype, and letting some fashion designer tell them their worth. Let’s face it – women with curves are not only in, they are awesome, and I am forever grateful for you taking your stand and being your own damn self with pride!
The post Women with Curves: 20 Ways You Changed All Women for the Better is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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The Thots Of Your Instagram Feed Explained By Bratz Dolls
If there’s one thing we all know about so-called viral makeup trends, it’s that 90% of them are bullshit. Squiggly eyebrows? Show me one person who is actually doing that in public. Just ONE! The people demand receipts! That being said, the latest viral makeup trend that may have slightly more credibility involves doing your makeup to mirror a Bratz Doll, aka what Kylie Jenner does every damn day of her life. We all remember Bratz, the heavily made-up dolls with lip fillers no feet and the most extra looks imaginable. These dolls took the Betches “dress like a slut” philosophy and monetized it for children. The early 2000s really were something, eh? Basically, the Bratz were thots before Instagram launched thotism as we know it today. In hindsight, we can now see clearly that each Bratz doll corresponds to a very real and very special variety of thot who fills our feeds with her selfies daily. Here’s how each of them break down:
Chloe – The Wannabe Thot
Truly a special breed, Chloe—nicknamed “Angel” because she doesn’t get how nicknames work (see: Sami Sweetheart)—wants desperately to be a background vocalist on a local rapper’s mixtape, but is quite simply too white to function. She makes vague references in her Insta photos about being “hard” and her “struggles,” but you remember her from second grade and are pretty sure she grew up in the rich person suburb next to yours. Chloe’s biggest accomplishment are her contributions to thirst-trappery, where she is truly unmatched. Your feed is constantly filled with photos of herself that you are legally required to screenshot and send to your group chat with the text, “You can see her vagina in this, right?!?!” Occasionally, Chloe’s Instagram will go dark because too many people reported her account as porn, but she always comes back with a long screenshotted note directed at “haters” full of strange grammatical choices and vague references to how you “just gotta do you.”
Occupation: Aspiring Pop Star
Insta Bio: “All U Bitches Mad” – My new SiNgLe oUt NoW On SoUndCloud! Link In Bio<3 xoxoANGEL
Example: Iggy Azalea, Niykee Heaton
Jade – The International Thot
Jade, whose nickname is Kool Kat (again, not how nicknames work), wants you to know that she is the ho the phrase “hos in different area codes” is referring to. You keep following Jade mainly because you’re trying to figure out how a person who does not appear to have a job is constantly traveling to different countries. Your entire group chat has basically concluded she’s a high-end escort of some kind, but the rules of feminism state that you must continue to support her by liking her photos in hopes that one day she’ll invite you along on one of her journeys. You know she has at least one boyfriend who is a sultan because of the time she stayed in that spinning hotel in Dubai, and she appears to be on a mission to Instagram herself standing next to every luxury hotel pool on the planet. 20 years from now you’ll check back in on her and find out she’s in jail for smuggling cocaine in her butt and everything will make sense.
Occupation: “Entrepreneur”
Insta Bio: They say a smile is the same in every language, well so is Resting Bitch Face<3 Jetsetter <3 Student of Fashion <3 HMU On WhatsApp
Example: Tila Tequila (Before she became an alt-right Nazi)
Yasmin – The Actually Successful Thot
Yasmin, nicknamed Pretty Princess (can someone put me in touch with a Bratz representative? we need to talk about nicknames…), doesn’t need the thot life for money or food or weight loss tea endorsements. Yasmin is a thot purely for the love of the game, and honestly, you kind of respect it. You started following Yasmin because you were fascinated by her ability to seemingly have erect nipples at all times, but you stayed after she requested you on LinkedIn and you realized she was a low-key successful businesswoman. Sheryl Sandberg by day, Ariel Winter by night, Yasmin’s account is private for a . Does she have her own line of lipsticks that makeup vloggers are raving about? Yes. Is that going to stop her from posting pics of herself in bed with captions like “Come find me ;)?” Hell the fuck no. Is Yasmin a feminist icon, or does her very existence set women back thousands of years? Unclear, but you’re not going to unfollow until you find out.
Occupation: CEO Of Yas Cosmetics
Insta Bio: Follow @yascosmetics for latest swatches! Get money, get paid. Real friends only. Not accepting new follow requests.
Example: Kylie Jenner
Sasha – The Batshit Crazy Thot
You don’t know Sasha IRL, but you are legitimately concerned for her safety. Every other week, Sasha appears to be embroiled in some kind of major crisis, and she has no qualms about sharing every detail of those crises on social media. Bless her heart. There was the time she was moonlighting at a Florida strip club and a loose dog bit her on the leg (“Please donate to my GoFundMe surgery page y’all! My foot is fucked!”). There was the time her ex boyfriend Snoop Dogg (different Snoop Dogg) crushed her apartment with a helicopter (“Venmo me @Sasha2Fierce2Furious y’all! My roof is fucked!). And, of course, there was the time she didn’t post for a few weeks and you were sure she was dead but then her Insta story revealed she just trapped on a boat (Tweet my whereabouts using #FindSasha! Where tf am I?!?! Our navigation tools are fucked!”). Sasha’s life is a beautiful human train wreck, and you have no choice but to follow obsessively and hope you can make it to her funeral. It’ll probably be lit.
BTW, her nickname is apparently “Bunny Boo” and I’m calling the police.
Occupation: “Dancer”
Insta Bio: Bitches Ain’t Shitttttt – http://ift.tt/2wWdJwk to help me find my son!!! where tf is he!?!?
Example: Blac Chyna
Raya – The Religious Thot
Raya, aka Sun Rayz (kill me), was the fifth Bratz doll added to the pack, mainly because she was a full-fledged Christian before that point. Raya was raised in the light of the Lord, but after a fashion-internship-turned-stint-on- took her to New York, Raya has converted to the Church Of Thotism and she is never looking back. But don’t worry, Raya has not fully turned her back on Jesus. Each of her selfies, cleavage pics, and thirst traps are accompanied by a caption like, “God is great!” or “Living in HIS light<3” and she is not above just straight-up posting a Bible verse from time to time. How she reconciles her thot lifestyle with her love of Christ, you’re not sure, but photos of herself at Sunday service in a bodysuit tell you she’s doing just fine. One day she’ll scrub her entire Insta presence and return with an entirely new persona after marrying a secretly gay pastor and popping out a baby named Zion or Abraham or some shit. She’ll act like everyone has forgotten her former thot life, but you have the screenshots to prove it.
Occupation: Homemaker
Insta Bio: The Lord Has Plans For This One Right Here <3, Christian, Future Mommy, 32D
Example: Raven Gates
Read more: http://ift.tt/2wVB7Kw
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