russellthornton

[russellthornton]

Friend Crush: Should You Worry About It or Is It Totally Harmless?

You’ve suddenly developed a friend crush. What does this mean? Are you attracted to them? Don’t panic! It’s simply a case of admiration gone awry.

We’ve all had someone come into our lives who takes our breath away. This isn’t necessarily romantic, more like a friend crush, but it can be someone you see, admire, and wish you could be more like.

At the time, the feeling can be overwhelming. You might want to spend all your time with this person and subconsciously try to be more like them. If you’re friends already, you’ll probably want to be their bestie.

Don’t panic, you’re not going crazy. It doesn’t mean you’ve suddenly developed a romantic or sexual attraction. You simply have a friend crush. [Read: What it means when you have a platonic crush]

What is a friend crush?

A friend crush isn’t something with any romantic or sexual connotation, it’s purely platonic. It’s actually very sweet. You meet someone out of the blue, or it’s someone you’ve known for a while, but you’ve suddenly started spending more time with them.

You see something in them which you really admire. Or you could see something in them which you wish you had. This can be a physical trait, such as really great hair or effortless style, or it can be personality trait, like a fantastic sense of humor or an ability to be able to talk to anyone no matter the situation.

A friend crush means nothing adverse, but what it does mean is that you should do a little soul searching into why you find this person so alluring on a platonic basis, and try and figure out what you think you’re lacking. The fact is you’re lacking nothing, but perhaps you simply think you are.

Confused? Let me give you a personal example. [Read: Questions to ask your BFF to help you bond]

An example of how a friend crush can look

I consider myself to be a normal kind of girl. A friendly, happy go lucky, nice girl. I don’t have any particular hang ups, although I was shy as a child, but nothing other than that. This particular day, a friend of mine asked if she could bring her new work colleague to our pre-arranged drinks that evening. I said okay, I had no problems with it. When I met this work colleague of my friend, I was blown away.

For no other reason than I simply wanted to be her, I quickly developed a new friend crush.

Seriously, at my age.

There was something about this girl that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. She seemed able to disarm everyone she came into contact, be it with a quick witted remark or a smile. She was a people person. Someone so unbelievably at ease in any social situation. That struck deep with me, probably because of my childhood shyness. I wished for such natural social ease.

I could have hated her. She was the most people person in the room the moment she walked into it. I could have been jealous, but I wasn’t. Instead, I befriended her because I liked her. She became a regular at our catch up drinks from that point on, until she moved back to Australia a few months later.

My friend crush was blown the moment she left, but I am glad that I met her. She taught me that it doesn’t matter if you’re feeling a little shy or not so confident, you can easily fake it and simply not care what anyone else thinks of you.

As you can see, friend crushes come into our lives to teach us something even the smallest thing in the world. [Read: Why it’s important for every girl to have a straight girl crush]

Learning from your friend crush

Now, I should point out that I don’t advocate attempting to become someone else. Be happy with who you are and love yourself for the wonderful being that you are. However, when you develop a friend crush because of a trait that the other person shows, it usually means that you feel you’re lacking something.

You might find that your friend crush fizzles out just as quickly as it began, or it might be an ongoing thing. However long it lasts, see it as an opportunity to learn. [Read: How to learn all of yourself–even the parts you hate]

What is causing your friend crush?

Are you crushing because of a visual reason or a personality-based reason? Do you think you’re lacking in that department? Or, you’re seeing something that you wish you had too? If you wish you had it, why?

This might sound a little deep and meaningful, but it’s a really good learning exercise to be had here. We all admire things about other people, such as Beyonce’s hair, or J-Lo’s butt, but we stop short of developing a full blown crush on these people because we realize that they’re just physical attributes of someone that we admire. Incidentally, I have a full blown girl crush on Beyonce, simply because she is amazing, but that’s by the by!

What I’m trying to explain is that developing a friend crush because of one single physical attribute, e.g. hair, body shape, eye color, isn’t likely to last for long. The novelty will wear off. On the other hand, a friend crush based on a personality trait is likely to last longer. You see something in that person that you wish you had, something you really admire.

Remember, we’re all different, and you’re no less valuable or admirable than they are. How do you know they’re not friend crushing on you? You don’t! You could have a number of people who developed friend crushes on you, and you have no clue! That’s a thought to keep with you. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]

Stay true to yourself

You don’t have to copy someone else’s sense of humor, because you have your own. Don’t copy the way someone speaks, because you speak in your own way. You don’t have to try and copy the knowledge of someone else, because you have topics that you’re very knowledgeable on.

It’s fine to have a friend crush, it’s part and parcel of normal life, but it’s not normal to try and change elements of yourself to morph into that person. Firstly, your friend crush will notice and find it a little creepy, and secondly, it’s very detrimental to your own self confidence if you feel that you’re not enough as you are. Of course you are enough!

You’re a lion or a lioness and you should feel that every single day of your life! Sure, admire someone else, but admiration should stop at the line before emulation.

Before my friend crush moved back to Australia, we had a deep conversation. I really thought she had it all figured out, she seemed effortless in any situation. She confided in me that she suffered with anxiety, and she used bluster and fake confidence to overcome it. That struck deep with me, and taught me a lot.

As you can see, everyone has their own life with their own stuff going on, and while you can admire someone for a trait, be it visual or personality, focus on being yourself and dealing with your own stuff.

[Read: 32 crazy fun things to do with your friends]

Superficially, a friend crush is the ultimate compliment in so many ways. Tell them what you love about them, but hold back on the emotion, otherwise you run the risk of crossing the line from admiration to downright weird!

The post Friend Crush: Should You Worry About It or Is It Totally Harmless? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

When You Ask Her Out (But Don’t Actually Ask)

Dear Seeker of Success,

It’s an oft-told story…

Boy meets Girl in an “everyday” setting.

Girl smiles and giggles oh-so-cute and Boy sees the door open and beckoning.

Boy strikes up a little convo.

Girl’s answer to his innocent-yet-obviously-leading question (the one where he asks her out without actually f@@king ASKING) leaves him stumped even though it’s plain-as-daylight stuff.

Let’s hear from a student who felt like he just got “traded down to the minors” off such a seemingly innocent response:

The other day, I went to a local clothing store because I needed to pick up a couple things.  I was greeted by a cute, bubbly sales associate.  I said hi and bought a belt and a few other things (I was there for that in the first place).  I commented on her style, then I left.  But – as if opportunity was raining down from heaven, I had forgotten my cell phone, so I went back and said I lost it!

She asked for my number so we could call it and hear it ring.  Lo and behold, it fell off while I was trying on the belt and landed under a rack with fall jackets on it.  Heard it ring and picked it up.  Then I asked where she lived, and her name, and if she had plans for the evening.  She said she was going to relax at her place.

I didn’t know what to say, so I left (with her phone number, and her name). She seemed interested in me, and I was wondering what I could do to get in contact with her, and get her to meet me. Can you help me?

Let me start with the Captain Obvious answer: call her and and f@@king ask her out.

(NOTE: You should have f@@king asked her out then and there, but that ship has sailed, so work with what you’ve got now.)

Anyway…

Don’t try to figure out if she really seemed interested… or just being all cute and flirty to loosen up your wallet by tightening up your Johnson (something that, uh, RARELY happens in the real world and is, uh, NEVER done on purpose).

Besides, your memory of actual events is probably distorted by now over hot you think she is…

….and how hot you wish, hope, and pray she was hot FOR YOU.

But think about what you’re asking her (or the next woman, when you go back for cuff links):

You asked where she lived (which DOESN’T MATTER until you go back to her place for some EEE-RRR-EEE-RRR), her name (was she wearing a nametag, as a sales associate in a retail store?), and what she was doing tonight (other than breathing and eventually sleeping?)

Were THESE the questions she was being called upon to answer while sidelined from making money so she can pay her rent?

What did her responses tell you about her “vibe” and what inspires her, so you could use it to anchor her emotions and get her excited and irresistibly aroused at-will?

Think about it.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. Sick and tired of letting opportunities with sexy, beautiful women pass right by while you sit there virtually paralyzed not knowing exactly what to do or say to close the deal with them?

The solutions to such quandries can be found right here:

Language & Communication Course

Technical Manual

And since, so far, 93% of you have stepped up and claimed BOTH courses, here’s a shortcut to the payment options for the combined bundle:

Get BOTH TOGETHER and gain a discount

[russellthornton]

How to Feel Better after a Breakup: 15 Steps to Find Your Happiness

You just broke up with your partner and it still hurts. But learning how to feel better after a breakup is possible and there are ways to get there.

I know it doesn’t seem possible right now, but you can learn how to feel better after a breakup with a bit of effort. Breakups suck. Even when you’re the one who does the breaking up, it always stings. Okay, unless you had a nightmare of a partner, then it’s more of a relief.

But since you’re here, that’s probably not the case. If your partner was someone you loved, then ending the relationship is difficult. You shared a part of your life with them and were probably thinking about the future. So, when a breakup happens, a permanent breakup, it’s hard to handle.

When I broke up with my partner of four years, I was thinking, what’s my life going to be like without him? I had a hard time imagining not speaking to him or being with him in a romantic sense.

[Read: How to get over a bad breakup and strt feeling good again]

How to feel better after a breakup

Time has a way of healing you. I know it’s a little cliché to say, but time really does help. Right now, you’re probably not thinking that, and I completely understand. But you should know that it’s going to get better. Not right away—sorry, but I want to be honest with you.

The next couple of weeks, even months, are going to be really hard. There’s no doubt about that. Though you can help yourself through this experience by doing a few things to make the situation better. If you want to move past this breakup and get the most out of it, follow these tips.

Yes, it’s over, but you have a life ahead of you. And it is possible to learn how to feel better after a breakup.

#1 Feel horrible. Yes! Feel sad, feel torn, feel grief. You’re a human being, you’re emotional whether you want to accept it or not. When you’re going through a breakup, you’re basically grieving over the loss of your partner. And that’s perfectly normal, even healthy.

Don’t rush this part. If you’re feeling sad then let yourself go through the emotion. If you suppress it, it’ll pop up in some other area of your life. [Read: How to emotionally detach when you don’t have any other choice]

#2 Cut them from social media. Ah yes, I know you’re not going to do this, at least not right away. But trust me, you have to. You need to cut the cord, if not, you’ll end up doing what I did and stalk them for weeks on end. It’s not healthy, and it prolongs you from moving on. Whatever social media platform you’re following them on, delete or block them.

#3 Don’t talk to them. So, let’s say you deleted them from social media *please say you did*, but they can still contact you. And though it may be tempting, refrain from speaking to them. If they start calling or writing to you, unless you want them back, tell them to stop contacting you. I know you think maybe you can be friends, but you can’t, not right now. [Read: Should I talk to my ex? 30 revealing questions to give you your answer]

#4 Make your life ex-free. You know the saying, out of sight, out of mind. Well, it’s a cliché, but it’s true. Whatever you have floating around your bedroom from your ex, put it away. No, you don’t need to burn everything in a tribal fire. Just put it away. Then, later on, you’ll be able to look at those things with a different perspective.

#5 Don’t stay friends. You may suggest staying friends but don’t. If you’ve made it this far by deleting and refraining from speaking to them, then don’t play the friend card. You can’t be friends right now. You need at least a couple of months away from them to fully grieve and move on. If you try to be friends with them, it’ll only prolong the process.

#6 Watch what you say about your ex. I’m not going to say you can’t talk shit about your ex, because you can, and you probably will. It’s going to feel good to let everything out, but at some point, you’ll need to stop. Why? Because not only does it prevent you from moving on, it’s also annoying for other people to listen to.

#7 Go out with friends. I cannot stress this enough if you want to know how to feel better after a breakup. After a breakup, surround yourself with your people. Spend time going out with your closest friends. No, you don’t need to hit the club every night, but spend time with your support group. Go to the movies, shopping, out for a run, whatever.  [Read: 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]

#8 Cry when you want to. If you’re feeling a sudden surge of sadness, it’s okay to cry. There will be days where everything feels amazing, and you’re doing great. Then there will be days where you’re feeling lonely and upset about the decision you made. The emotions you’ll feel after a breakup will be like riding a rollercoaster. It’ll go up and down until you start to feel normal again. Don’t suppress these feelings, instead, ride with them.

#9 No drunk texts. If you’re planning on drinking this weekend, make sure you keep your phone far away from you. Give your friends your phone or use a special anti-drunk texting app.

Because what happens when you drink, and you’re going through a breakup? You text your ex. If you want your post-breakup period to be a smooth transition, don’t send drunk texts. [Read: How to avoid the awkward drama of drunk texts]

#10 Stay away from where they hang out. You may get a call from their friend inviting you to a party. Don’t go. I made this mistake once, I ended up completely drunk, puking out of a window while crying. It’s not a good look, trust me. You’re going to really suffer if you go to any event where you know they’ll be.

#11 Eat right and exercise. I know this sounds like a drag, but if you want to know how to feel better after a breakup, nourish your body and soul. Yes, you can cheat here and there, but you need to feed your body with the right things. It’ll make you feel good and keep you healthy.

It’s easy to gain and lose weight when going through a breakup because your body is under tremendous stress. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared about]

#12 Write everything down. When your friends can’t stand listening to another word you have to say about your ex, write it down. Get everything out on paper. How they made you feel, what you did, etc. Then a couple of days later, take a look at what you wrote. It’ll make it easier to look at the breakup from a different perspective.

#13 Try new things. If you wanted to take salsa classes, but your partner never wanted to go with you, well, now is your chance to do something you always wanted to do. Start new things and meet new people. The only way to make yourself feel better is if you start doing things for you, and not for your ex. [Read: How to be happy being single and explore the freedom of singledom]

#14 Don’t blame yourself. Listen, you probably made mistakes in the relationship, but so did your partner. You’re not the only one in a relationship; it takes two. So, be easy on yourself during this period. Blaming yourself will only keep you thinking about the breakup. It’s time to accept what happened and move on. [Read: How to make it easier to let go of your ex]

#15 Take new relationships nice and easy. If you’re starting to date again, take things nice and slow. You want the next relationship you enter to be one full of respect, happiness, and love. This isn’t going to be something you get overnight. Many of us jump from relationship to relationship because we’re scared to be alone. You won’t be alone. Take some time to heal.

[Read: 13 essentials you need to move on from heartbreak]

Breaking up with someone is hard but getting over a breakup can be even harder. If you follow these steps for how to feel better after a breakup, you’ll be on the road to being a wiser and better person.

The post How to Feel Better after a Breakup: 15 Steps to Find Your Happiness is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

Dating And The Conscious Mind: Why Do Women Have “Weird” Reactions?

Dear Seeker of Success,

For many guys, the conscious mind is the primary focus of “dating”.

See, many of those “weird” reactions women have to men have to do with her mind being somewhere else.

Listen to this clip torn right out of the Speed Seduction® Technical Manual:

var playerhost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/vidoftheweek/ezs3js/secure/" : "http://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/vidoftheweek/ezs3js/player/"); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + playerhost + "flv/D5A33557-D4AE-52BC-EDCDD44C1A94880B.js?t="+(Math.random() * 99999999)+"' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));

Peace,

RJ

P.S. In fact, this clip was plucked right out from the middle of a follow-the-steps, paint-by-numbers exercise, just one of many you’ll find in these two advanced language and communication learning tools.

P.P.S. This is only available for a strictly limited time, so here are the links:

Language & Communication Course

Technical Manual

And since, so far, 93% of you have stepped up and claimed BOTH courses, here’s a shortcut to the payment options for the combined bundle:

Get BOTH TOGETHER and gain a discount

[russellthornton]

Casual Dating vs Serious Dating: What’s Your Dating Speed for Now?

We live in a world with various dating options. Two of the most common are casual dating vs serious dating. But both have their ups and downs.

Casual dating vs serious dating, where do you land? It’s important to enter the dating world with an idea of what you’re looking for.

Not everyone feels ready for a serious relationship. Provided you’re open and honest about it with the person you’re seeing, there is no harm in enjoying casual dating. If you’re seeing someone who clearly wants a relationship, keeping things light and casual isn’t going to work.

The only way to navigate these choppy dating waters is by having an adult conversation. Yes, you need to have the ‘where is this going?’ talk. Terrifying indeed. [Read: 10 definite signs you need to have the relationship talk]

Honest communication matters

The problem is, most people try to avoid this conversation completely. It adds pressure, makes things awkward, and figuring out the right time to have it can be difficult. You don’t want to bring it up too soon, but the fact is that most of us say what we think the other person wants to hear when we start seeing someone, out of fear of coming on too strong.

Relationships of all types are complicated. But if you’re open and honest from the start, everything becomes much easier because both parties know where you stand.

Casual dating vs serious dating – What it really is

To know which type of dating scenario you want, ask yourself these questions:

– Do I want to be with just one person?

– Do I want to work towards a settled future with someone right now?

That’s it, literally two questions. If you can’t say that you want to be with only one person, then you’re not ready for a serious relationship. In that case, go casual. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as you’re honest!

[Read: Am I ready for a relationship? The questions to ask yourself]

If you like the idea of being with just one person and crave the love and attention of building a future, serious is the route for you.

When you first start seeing someone, the lines are blurred. It can be hard to figure out where you are on the relationship scale. Is it even a relationship? Some people don’t want to add the ‘R’ label!

The thing is, we all have relationships of different types, including friendships. You can be a friend with benefits and still have a relationship. A relationship isn’t necessarily all hearts and flowers with endless declared love.

The lines between casual and serious can become blurred, so let’s explore what each really looks like.

What is casual dating?

Casual dating is when you see someone, but there is no commitment per se. You may be seeing more than one person, and provided you’re on the same page about it, there’s no issue. The issues arise when one person thinks they’re dating casually and fine to see other people, and the other person thinks they’re exclusive. This results in very difficult times and an upset partner.

Casual dating doesn’t have a commitment, and it’s not serious. This doesn’t mean that it can’t progress to serious in the future. But for now, there is no talk of the future. Casual dating is firmly in the here and now only. [Read: 15 reasons why casual dating can be the best thing you need right now]

How often two people who are in the casual dating scene see each other is totally personal. Some can see each other once per week, while others are talking on the phone all the time and seeing each other three or even four times. There is no hard and fast rule. The theme is that there is no expectation or commitment. Put simply, casual dating is meant to be totally chilled out.

The problem with casual dating is the non-monogamy side when it comes to sex. If you are seeing more than one person and you are sexually active with both, then you must make sure that you are careful and protected. [Read: How to casually date without getting attached]

What is serious dating?

On the other hand, serious dating can be described as being in a monogamous relationship with someone whom you see on a very regular basis. There is an expectation that your union will either remain close for a long time to come, or if you both want it, you may move towards marriage or children.

People can be in serious relationships for years and years and never get married. It really comes down to what both parties want. It’s certainly far more on the cards than with a casual dating situation! [Read: 19 signs you’re totally ready for a serious relationship]

Many people love the comfort and security of being in a serious relationship, while others erupt into a cold sweat at the thought of it. Feeling trapped isn’t something you should experience when you’re in a serious relationship. If you do have that feeling, this isn’t the right situation for you.

The major difference between casual dating and serious dating is that serious dating is between two people only. There is no third party involved, and any episode of being with another person is classed as cheating. [Read: 15 signs that tell you that you are at the exclusive stage]

Casual dating vs serious dating in today’s world

The rise of social media and dating apps has meant that the debate between casual dating vs serious dating has become more intense. Apps such as Tinder make it very easy for those who are seeking a casual hook up to achieve their aim, but many do not make their intentions clear.

There are equally as many people searching for a serious relationship who use these apps, and by interacting with someone who is basically only after a good time and isn’t honest about their future intentions, heartache is on the horizon.

On the plus side, these platforms make it far easier to meet like-minded people with similar interests. We no longer have to go out on a Saturday night and pluck up the courage to speak to someone at the bar. A situation which strikes fear into the hearts of many!

Now we can sit at home in our pajamas and meet all manner of different people. If you take away the possible downsides of that situation, then you have to admit that technology has turned the dating world on its head! [Read: The pros and cons of using dating apps to snag a date]

Which do you prefer? Are you a serious dating fan, or do you prefer the free and easy feel of casual dating? It’s important not to put a label on either in terms of which is best. We all need different things at different times in our lives. Perhaps you’ve come out of a long-term relationship and you’re really not feeling the love for another, but you want the comfort and fun of a casual fling. In that case, as long as the other person feels the same, go for it!

Equally, maybe you’ve had a few casual dating endeavors and you’re tired of the lack of true connection. In that case, maybe you’re ready for something more meaningful and special. A serious relationship could give you the security and companionship that you’re craving.

Of course, there is a third option, staying single. There is nothing wrong with simply doing you. If you want time to enjoy your life, to avoid having to please someone else, or arrange dates around everything else you have planned, why should you even have to? It’s perfectly fine and totally acceptable to enjoy time alone and focus on yourself. It’s to be recommended from time to time!

[Read: 10 unfair but relevant dating rules we all have to live by]

Casual dating vs serious dating doesn’t produce a clear winner. It really depends upon the situation you’re in and the way you feel. Both will teach you important life lessons. Embrace them both in the right times!

The post Casual Dating vs Serious Dating: What’s Your Dating Speed for Now? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

How to Get Really Wet Fast by Yourself: A Dry Girl’s Wet Guide

Knowing how to get really wet fast by yourself isn’t easy as it sounds. Whether it’s vaginal dryness or you’re not in the mood, there are ways to get wet.

Everyone thinks the vagina can get wet with just the snap of a finger—which is entirely wrong. I mean, yes, some women can get wet quickly, but there are many women who suffer from vaginal dryness or a low sex drive. Understanding how to get really wet fast by yourself is essential knowledge for most women.

The vagina is not a continuous waterfall. It has its limits. When I’m hanging out in bed with my partner, even though he’s making all the right moves, sometimes I’m not getting as wet as I could be. Sometimes, I’m not in the mood. Other times I have no idea what’s going on down there.

How to get really wet fast by yourself

And when it comes to the vagina, if you want to have comfortable and enjoyable sex, then you’re going to need to make sure it’s wet.

Vaginal lubrication occurs naturally when blood flows towards the genitals when aroused. Now, there are times when you’re not aroused and becoming wet will be a challenge. [Read: You can avoid these sexual problems in a relationship]

There are also times when you are aroused, and nothing is happening down there. This can be caused by low estrogen levels, medication, irritants, lack of foreplay, and stress. The vagina isn’t simple as we thought.

So, if you’re wanting to get wet fast, there are a couple of ways to help you learn how to get really wet fast by yourself. You don’t always need a partner to get wet.

#1 Get your head straight. If you want to get wet fast, understand your vagina is connected to your head. If you’re stressed at work or going through exam season, you’re under stress which can affect your vagina’s wetness. Forget about the things going on in your life and focus on the moment at hand. [Read: How to get in the mood for sex]

#2 Watch something naughty. Do you have a favorite porn clip or sex scene from a movie? If you want to get wet fast, watch something sexually arousing. This puts your head in the right space. So, think about the material you’ve used in the past that turned you on. Whatever gets the juices flowing down there is what you need to use. 

#3 Start from your head and work your way down. Find a private space for you to relax in. If it’s your bedroom, make sure you lock your door! While laying down, focus on your head, feeling the tingles going down your body. Think about your erogenous zones, imagining what it would feel like if your partner was touching them. [Read: 14 sexy self-pleasure tips to help you masturbate]

#4 Get handsy. Oh yes, it’s time. You’re in the right head space, you watched something naughty, and now it’s time to get your hands involved. If you want to get wet fast, masturbate! Use your hands to stimulate your clitoris and with the other hand, grab, slap, and rub your erogenous zones. [Read: 14 ways to touch yourself and get really wet]

#5 Use toys. If masturbation isn’t working for you, why not use some sex toys? I mean, why not use the right tools for the job. If you want to get turned on quickly, whether you’re with your partner or solo, sex toys can be a great way to get things started. Spend a couple of minutes using a vibrator or dildo, and you’ll be ready to go.

#6 Pull out the lube. If you’re not interested in spending the time making yourself wet naturally, well, then there’s always lube. It’s certainly the fastest way to get things wet. With a couple of pumps of lube on your fingers, you’ll get things ready to go in a matter of seconds. If you’ve suffered from vaginal dryness, lube will be your best friend. [Read: 15 best lubricants for sex you can find in your kitchen cupboard]

#7 Get your partner involved. Sometimes, all you need is a helping hand. Foreplay is a crucial part of sex and often overlooked. But if you want to get wet quickly, it’s time your partner started to touch you in the right places. Whether it’s kissing, rubbing, spanking, caressing, or biting, foreplay will help you naturally get wet.

#8 Have regular sex. Who would have thought this is a way to get wet? If you want to get wet, you should focus on regular sex. During sex, deep penetration massages around the cervix which stimulates the lubrication glands. With regular sex, you keep the lubrication glands in tip-top shape.

#9 Use Kegels. Though it will take some time in the beginning, it’s well worth the long-term benefits. Kegels are an amazing way to stimulate your lubrication glands. By practicing Kegel exercises at least ten minutes a day, you’ll strengthen your pelvic floor which provides you with stronger orgasms as well. It’s a real win-win. [Read: Why both men and women should do Kegels]

#10 Stay hydrated. If you want to get wet fast, stay hydrated. We all know the other benefits of drinking water, but, you probably didn’t know how much it affects the vagina. Hydration reduces vaginal dryness and keeps the natural juices flowing. Drink plenty of water two to three hours prior to sex if you can.   

#11 Relax. It’s easy to get consumed with achieving this goal. In turn, it can backfire and prevent you from becoming wet. When in doubt, take a deep breath and relax. It’s important you don’t push yourself too hard or else it won’t work as planned. [Read: Mantras to help you focus and relax]

#12 Do you suffer from chronic dryness? If you’re trying to get wet fast, but you’re struggling with getting wet in general, focus on your vaginal dryness. Finding the root cause will help you fix the issue and naturally lubricate your vagina. From there, work on becoming wet quickly.

[Read: The 15 sexy benefits of solo masturbation]

If you need to know how to get really wet fast by yourself, time to get your head in the game. Use these tips to help you out.

The post How to Get Really Wet Fast by Yourself: A Dry Girl’s Wet Guide is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

Sex-Positive Movement: What It Is & What We Wrongly Assume About It

You may have heard about the sex-positive movement, but do you really know what it’s about? If you don’t, you’re about to find out what it actually is.

When it comes to defining terms, it can always be a bit tricky. Everyone has their own definition of what sex positivity or what the sex-positive movement is.

Some people think it’s about the right to safe sex, while others think it’s about accepting one’s sexual behavior. Though these aren’t wrong, it’s time to get the actual definition of what it means. Sex positivity is the belief of consensual sexual expression in a safe and healthy environment. In addition, it also advocates exploring gender norms, self-care, body positivity, and sex education.

In other words, it’s about creating healthy relationships with ourselves and the people we have sex with. Like a ripple effect, it changes the way we all look at sex. [Read: How to fall in love with the sexy side of you]

10 things the sex-positive movement is not

You may be thinking to yourself, the way we look at sex? What? Is there a wrong way? Now, I don’t want to point fingers at people and tell them what they’re doing is wrong. This isn’t what the sex-positive movement is about. Rather, it’s about removing sexual stigma and shame around sex and sexual behavior.

Basically, you’re not a slut for having sex with a guy you met at a party. You’re not a whore for kissing someone you met on a first date. It’s about supporting each other’s sexual decisions if they’re done consensually and in a safe space. That doesn’t sound too bad right? Exactly.

But it’s easy to get things mixed up, so I’m going to be telling you some of the sex-positive misconceptions. It’s time to know the facts about the sex-positive movement.

#1 Having no boundaries. Many people assume that to be sex-positive, they cannot have any personal boundaries. Rather, they need to be open and enjoy every aspect of sex. Well, that’s just wrong. There are some things you’re not going to sexually enjoy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be sex-positive. Knowing your boundaries and communicating them is basically the most sex-positive thing you can do. [Read: How to set boundaries in dating]

#2 Enjoying sex. I wish it was that easy. If sex-positivity was only about enjoying sex, well, then this would be a slice of cake. But it’s more complicated.

Being sex positive doesn’t mean you enjoy sex. You can support the belief of consensual and safe sex without actually engaging in it yourself. We’re all different, some of us enjoy sex, some of us don’t, and that’s okay. [Read: How to be sexy as ever and own your own unique type of sexual attractiveness]

#3 Treating others like sex objects. Many people use the excuse, “I’m just being sexually expressive,” when using crass and graphic comments to other women and men. But they’re not sex-positive, they’re disrespectful and rude. Being truly sex-positive isn’t about treating other people like pieces of meat, it’s about accepting their sexual choices.

#4 You’re allowed to have sex. There are many people who feel they’re entitled to have sex, someone owes them sex. This is a huge problem in society right now and we can see it in the #metoo movement. It’s easy to use sex-positivity as a manipulative way to get someone to have sex with you.

But no one owes you sex, and you don’t owe anyone sex. It’s as simple as that. If you want to have sex with someone and they want to have sex with you, great. But sex-positivity isn’t assuming sex is like a buffet.

#5 Wanting to have sex all the time. Many people assume being sex-positive is about being able to have sex all the time and with everyone. But that’s not what it’s about. There’s this assumption that being sex-positive is about being as sexually open and available as possible. If someone comes to you, pushing for sex and uses the old, “but I thought you were sex-positive,” run far away from them.

#6 Talking about your sex stories to others. People assume sex-positivity is about open and free-love type sex, even when it comes to talking about sex. But, as you now know, it isn’t. Yes, you can talk about your sexual experiences, but today, we’re talking about it as if it’s nothing special.

Though you don’t realize it, you share an intimate experience with someone. You don’t know if they want the story to be told, nor do you know if your friends actually want to hear about these stories. Sex-positivity is about respect on all sides. [Read: 15 true, not-so-sexy stories about losing virginity]

#7 Some people are better at sex than others. When people are dipping their toes into sex-positivity, they need to battle against cultural norms of what’s sexually acceptable. Some people enjoy BDSM, some people have a foot fetish, while others are polyamorous. None of these sexual preferences are bad or taboo.

It’s simply some people enjoy other types of sexual acts. Sex-positivity isn’t about creating a hierarchy of which people are better than others at sex. It’s about accepting everyone’s sexual preferences.

#8 Assuming everyone loves to have sex. When you hear a person say, “sex isn’t a big deal for me,” you usually gasp in horror and disbelief. We love to assume that everyone enjoys having sex. But sex positivity isn’t about liking sex. There are many people who don’t enjoy having sex due to their own personal reasons.

#9 Pushing power dynamics to the side. It’s easy to speak in an oppressive and degrading manner when talking about sex. However, critiquing sexual acts isn’t sex-positive, in fact, it’s the complete opposite.

Sex positivity is about understanding and examining power dynamics during sex, even consensual ones. For example, when a college professor sleeps with their student, there’s a clear misuse of power dynamic going on. Sex-positivity aims to analyze these issues critically. [Read: Are you feeling trapped in your relationship?]

#10 Treating sex casually. Sex positivity gets a bad wrap as being thought of as some “hippie” notion of free love and sex. But that would be too simple. Sex is complex. There’s no way around it.

Sex isn’t always fun, and it’s not always a good time. It can also be traumatizing and painful. Sex positivity isn’t about ignoring those sexual experiences, it’s about working towards creating a safer environment for sexual expression.

[Read: How to embrace sex-positive feminism]

If you’re still not comfortable with the idea of the sex-positivity movement, that’s okay. Hopefully, with time, you come to understand what it is and how you can live a sex-positive life.

The post Sex-Positive Movement: What It Is & What We Wrongly Assume About It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

14 Casual Dating Rules that Make or Break Every Casual Relationship

Just because you have needs doesn’t necessarily mean you want anything serious. So, it’s time to brush up on the casual dating rules.

Casual dating is great. Casual dating rules make it better. Because sometimes you just don’t want to be in a serious relationship. But you want to spend time with someone and have sex—casually. There’s nothing wrong with that.

In recent years, casual dating has become wildly popular. Not everyone is ready for something serious. If you work a lot or focused on school and exams, having a serious relationship isn’t on the top of your mind. So, this is where a casual relationship comes into play. [Read: 15 reasons why casual dating is the best ever]

Casual dating rules you need to know

I’ve been in a couple of casual relationships, and I can tell you one thing: you must have rules. I know, I know. You don’t want to have rules, but you must. Do you want this casual relationship to work? Or do you want to end up heartbroken in a relationship you decided would be casual?

No one needs to get hurt in a casual relationship. It’s the whole reason why it’s casual: it’s light, it’s fun, and it’s all about sex.

Learn the casual dating rules, and it will be a great experience for you. If not, you’ll learn the hard way and leave with a broken heart. Do it right, and a casual relationship is much easier than a serious one. If you want to keep it casual, there are rules to follow.

#1 Do you want a casual relationship? Is this something you really want? Or are you just doing this in hopes of the relationship becoming more serious? Aha, see what I did there? This is something you definitely need to think about because you need to walk into the relationship with no expectations. [Read: Dating vs. Relationship: 14 signs to know your real status]

#2 Be completely honest with yourself. It’s all about honesty. No one wants to get real with themselves because we all want to do things we shouldn’t do. You don’t want to leave a casual relationship heartbroken. So, be honest with yourself. Are you doing this for the right reasons?

#3 Be honest with your partner. You can’t casually date if you’re playing games. No one wants to be with someone who does this. Just be honest and straight with your partner. If you’re not honest with them, you can really hurt them.

#4 Define your boundaries. What are your boundaries or crosses the line for you? Everyone has a line, you just need to know what it takes to cross it. Casual dating can be a lot of fun, but only if you know your boundaries. What are you uncomfortable with doing? [Read: Learn how to set boundaries in dating]

#5 Make rules together. You are in this relationship together, right? So, it’s only fair if you make the rules together. Of course, you have your defined set of boundaries which is good. You both need to come to the table with your boundaries and talk it out. Then make a set list of rules. For example, sleepovers or no sleepovers?

#6 Don’t kiss and tell. If you’re sleeping with this person, be respectful and keep it on the down low. You shouldn’t be telling other people about your casual relationship with your partner and vice versa. If it’s nothing serious, then it doesn’t need to be made public.

#7 No future talks. Do not, under any circumstances talk about the future. Okay, you can talk about something happening three days from now, but other than that, nothing. Don’t mention spending time together in the summer or what you should do for Christmas. I thought this was only casual, remember? [Read: 10 things you must always remember when you’re in a casual relationship]

#8 If you’re getting feelings, leave. It’s normal for people to develop feelings for each other in casual relationships. We’re only human. If you’re catching feelings for this person, you need to think about things. Do you want something serious with them? Regardless, you should talk to your partner about it and see where they stand. If they don’t feel the same way though, you need to leave the relationship.

#9 No family or friend introductions. You should not introduce them to any friends or family. Remember you’re not dating them seriously, it’s only casual. The minute you bring your family into the picture, everyone’s expectations change. Your family thinks it’s serious and the other person is getting mixed signals. Not good. [Read: Follow these tips to keep your relationship casual]

#10 See other people. This is called casual dating for a reason. It’s not something serious, it’s not something that is supposed to tie you down. If it was, then it would be called a serious relationship. You’re in it for the fun. So, to keep it light, you should still continue to see other people. If you are having sex with other people, make sure they know what’s going on.

#11 Expect nothing. The only thing you should expect from a casual relationship is nothing. Okay, wait, you should be having good sex, but other than that, don’t expect much. Don’t let it evolve into something serious because that will only ruin what you have. If you like them, then this is something to talk about with your partner.

#12 Know when you’ve had enough. Sometimes, when we develop feelings for someone or they develop feelings for us, we struggle with cutting things off. You know deep down when you’ve had enough. Listen to that intuition because it’s probably right. If you’re feeling like the relationship has run its course, then it’s time to move on. [Read: 15 hurt-free rules you should never overlook in a casual relationship]

#13 Try different people and personalities. No, don’t eat them. What I mean is if you’re casually dating, date a variety of people. This will only help you narrow down what you like and dislike in a person. It’s really important to remember that you’re working on finding your ideal partner. [Read: The reasons why you might stay with the wrong partner]

#14 If you end it, end it respectfully. No longer want to date someone? Rather than ghosting them, tell them. I know, ghosting someone is the easy way out, but you dated them. You need to treat this person with respect. If you want to truly be mature and responsible, act like an adult.

[Read: If you ghost, prepare yourself for these 10 consequences]

Casual dating can be a lot of fun, but if you don’t know the rules, it can get messy quickly. Follow these casual dating rules, and you’ll be golden.

The post 14 Casual Dating Rules that Make or Break Every Casual Relationship is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

Why Starting With Language Patterns Is Bass-Ackwards

Dear Seeker of Success,

In this two-minute audio clip from the Speed Seduction® Language and Conversation Course on how to have conversations with women, see why memorizing and reciting word-for-word language patterns, in and of itself, is unlikely to work:

var playerhost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/vidoftheweek/ezs3js/secure/" : "http://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/vidoftheweek/ezs3js/player/"); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + playerhost + "flv/CF38BD56-D4AE-52BC-EDCD6EE4C1D00BA1.js?t="+(Math.random() * 99999999)+"' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));

Peace,

RJ

P.S. This is only available for a strictly limited time, so here are the links:

Language & Communication Course

Technical Manual

And since, so far, 93% of you have stepped up and claimed BOTH courses, here’s a shortcut to the payment options for the combined bundle:

Get BOTH TOGETHER and gain a discount

[russellthornton]

How to Tell if a First Date Went Well: 15 Signs You Want to See

First dates are nerve-wracking—before, during, and after! If you wonder how to tell if a first date went well, let’s explore the 15 signs you WANT to see.

Whether you’re a seasoned dater or not, first dates are terrifying. You’re not sure what to say, you’re worried about the impression you’ll make. What if the entire thing is terrible and awkward? The other side of the coin is wondering how to tell if a first date went well.

Dating can be a minefield of awkward silences and second guesses. Learning the signs to look for, you can give yourself a heads up, and avoid panicking about nothing! [Read: 14 signs you’re unintentionally ruining your first date]

How to tell if a first date went well

If you’re about to go on a first date, be clued in on how to tell if a first date went well. This stops you analyzing everything into oblivion when you return home. Bonus, it puts you at ease during the date. Here are 15 ways to be sure either way.

#1 You immediately felt comfortable. Your subconscious is not stupid. Make sure you listen to it! If you felt immediate comfort and your guard dropped quickly, the chances are the date went well. Your instincts will easily pick up on something that isn’t quite right. You’ll feel something is off.

By listening to yourself, you get a good read on how the date is going. The chances are, if the date went badly, you’ll know about it from the way it feels in your gut. But if you felt comfortable and not at all awkward, you’re likely to have been in successful first date territory! [Read: How to listen to your gut and strengthen your inner voice]

#2 You were laughing and smiling a lot. Nobody laughs and smiles a lot without there being a reason! If you look back on your date and remember a face ache from smiling, then the date was a true success! You’re certainly in the realm of a great time if your date is laughing and smiling a lot too. The likelihood of date number two is high.

#3 You look back on the date and immediately smile. When you think back on the date, you start smiling uncontrollably and butterflies erupt in your stomach. You had a great date and will probably be heading off on another one soon! [Read: Do you have strong feelings after a first date? How to read the signs]

#4 Your date was respectful and kind at all times. A sign of a good first date isn’t always about how it felt and whether there’ll be a second one. How did your date treat you? If they were respectful and kind, then you had a fantastic first outing. Even if it doesn’t move on towards a repeat performance, you had a great experience.

#5 Conversation was flowing. One of the biggest signs of how to tell if a first date went well is if the conversation flowed. If you can’t remember many awkward silences and “oh god” feelings, then you had a good time! Conversation flows when you feel comfortable with someone. If you felt comfortable then you had a successful first date. [Read: What to say on a first date to keep it light, easy and flirtatious]

#6 You didn’t feel the need to check your phone. Most of us grab our phone and start checking for messages and scrolling through social media when we feel awkward or bored. If you didn’t reach for your phone once, that’s a great sign. Of course, this works both ways, so your date shouldn’t have been looking at theirs either. The fact that neither of you felt the need to check what was happening on Facebook is positive!

#7 Your anxiety disappeared pretty quickly. This goes back to point number one in some ways. If you felt no worry or anxiety, then you had a great date. Equally, you shouldn’t have felt anxious after the date either, overanalyzing whether or not a date went well is a sign that it didn’t. You should feel pretty calm and floating on air afterwards!

#8 Your date lasted longer than you had planned. One of the best tips on how to tell if a first date went well is that it went on longer than you thought! Nobody spends extra time in a dating situation that feels awkward or uncomfortable, or with a person they don’t really vibe with. If the date went on longer, it shows that your date liked spending time with you. [Read: How long should a first date last]

#9 Your date talked about their personal life. As a general rule, we don’t talk about our personal lives, families, and friends with people we don’t really like or trust. If your date was chatting away about their life and mentioning names of those close to them, then you can pretty much guarantee that your date went well indeed!

#10 You have an “us” joke. If by the end of the date you have a joke name, e.g. after sharing something funny about your life, or you have an ‘in’ or ‘us’ joke, then you’re on great territory! This is a clear nod towards a second date on the horizon.

#11 There was a mention of the future. There was a mention or two of doing things together in the future. This is a good sign about how it went. Of course, we randomly mention things like ‘oh we should do that’ in general conversation and sometimes don’t mean it. If it happens in conjunction with a few others points on this list, your date was a success. [Read: 18 signs your date really likes you on the very first date]

#12 You both asked questions with genuine interest in the answers. During the conversation, there should be an equal number of questions asked and not just one person firing questions at the other! If you were both asking questions and were genuinely interested in the replies, then the date was a good one.

#13 You’re both following each other on social media. If you weren’t following each other before, you should be now. It is a clear indicator on how to tell if a first date went well. This means you’re both interested in what the other one is up to, so look for Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat follows.

#14 There was a kiss goodnight. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t a full-on passionate kiss, any kiss is a good sign! Of course, there might be a certain amount of shyness at play which prevented a kiss from happening. In this case, assess the way you parted ways, was there a look of longing? [Read: Secrets to making your first kiss together memorable]

#15 You received a message quite soon after the date ended. The final way to tell if a date was a success or not is whether there was a message soon afterwards. If you returned home and then got a ‘I had a great time’ message or similar, there is a very high likelihood of date number two.

[Read: How to impress on your first date]

Knowing how to tell if your date went well is enough to tie you up in knots! Don’t overthink it, as this will simply cause you to panic. Stick to these tips on how to tell if a first date went well, and you’ll know for sure!

The post How to Tell if a First Date Went Well: 15 Signs You Want to See is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

13 Signs of a Relationship of Convenience Masquerading as Love

Just because two people are in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s for the right reasons. Are there signs of a relationship of convenience or true love?

People go into relationships for so many reasons. Of course, we all wish to experience genuine feelings of love for each other. Sometimes it’s not the case. People feel lonely and just want to have someone. Other people want the status of having a partner. Do you see signs of a relationship of convenience in your life?

Now, I’m not judging because I think we’ve all had these moments where we just wanted to be with someone without really caring about who the other person was. In high school, I wanted a boyfriend so badly, I didn’t really care who the guy was. I just wanted to know what it would feel like to be with someone. That being said, I didn’t date anyone until I was eighteen.

13 signs of a relationship of convenience

There comes a moment where you have to be real with yourself and dig deep to figure out what you want from your life. Okay, of course, you can date a guy or a girl, it’s not hard finding someone to be with. [Read: How to start living life on your terms]

But you don’t just want anyone. You want someone you connect with, someone you genuinely love and who loves you back. So, I think it’s time to start figuring out if you’re in a relationship for the right reasons or not. In the long run, if you’re just with someone to pass time and vice versa, it’s not worth it.

So, let’s take a look at the signs of a relationship of convenience. That way, you can decide whether or not the relationship you’re in is right for you.

#1 You feel something is off. You know when you love someone. Can I explain the feeling? Good question, it’s a hard one to answer. Okay, yes, there are some scientific things you feel when you’re in love, but on the other hand, you just know that it’s love. One of the clearest signs of a relationship of convenience is that you don’t feel that. You feel an emptiness and that isn’t love. [Read: How to split the casual from real love]

#2 You don’t make each other a priority. Sure, you spend time together, but you’re not going out of your way to see them, and they’re not going out of their way to see you. If you have plans, they may ask you along, they may not. And when it comes to your plans, you don’t change anything to make time to see them.

#3 You have broken up before. You have been on a couple of breaks before and maybe you realized that dating sucks. So, what happens? You get back together again. However, it’s not because you actually miss each other. It’s just because you’re not into dating. You don’t want to be single and have to deal with the small talk. Plus, the sex is regular, so why would you waste that? [Read: Why you shouldn’t invest time in an on-off relationship]

#4 All your friends are taken. Sometimes we feel pressured when all of our friends are in relationships. You and your partner all have friends that are already coupled off, and, well, you being together makes things easier. There’s no scrounging around on a Friday night to find someone to go out with. You don’t have to be a third wheel, everything works out.

#5 There’s no talks about the future. When you’re in love, you are planning your future out together for the next twenty years. That’s what love makes you do, it makes you do crazy things. You don’t even plan what you’re going to eat for dinner though, do you? Marriage? Moving in together? Yeah, those subjects have never even crossed your mind.

#6 You don’t see their family or friends. Well, they don’t see yours either. Basically, you keep your personal lives separate. You don’t see their family, they don’t see your family. If you can avoid a family dinner at their parent’s house, you do so. But why? If it’s love, wouldn’t you want to be next to your partner? Don’t you want to be supportive? [Read: 16 signs you’re clearly not ready for a serious relationship]

#7 Your partner doesn’t go out of their way for you. Mind you, neither do you. You don’t seem to make any sacrifices for each other. And I’m sorry, but when did you ever hear of love not being about sacrifice? If it’s real love, of course, you’re going to make sacrifices!

#8 The relationship isn’t moving. It’s not even moving backward, it’s just not moving anywhere. It has become stagnant. You have a routine, it’s comfortable, but there’s no progress. A relationship that’s healthy should be progressing. There are always moments where the relationship hits a plateau, but for the most part, couples make future plans to keep things going. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through]

#9 Everything is easy. Too easy. There’s no flirting, no chase, nothing. You give them the bare minimum, they give you the bare minimum. Everyone is just investing the basics into the relationship. This isn’t what you do if you’re serious about someone. If you want someone, you give them everything, not 1%.

#10 You don’t say the three magic words. You don’t tell each other ‘I love you.’ Even though you have been together for a while, those words have never escaped your mouth. Probably because you’ve never thought about your partner like that. You don’t love your partner, if you did, you wouldn’t be able to hold those words in. [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time]

#11 There’s no compromise. When you’re in a relationship, there’s a lot of compromising. You and your partner are the exception and manage to not compromise on anything. It sounds great at first, but it’s not. You might as well be single if you’re not willing to compromise. If anything, this just shows that you aren’t in a relationship for the right reasons.

#12 You make your own decisions. And so does your partner. You don’t sit down and talk about things, making decisions together. This is what healthy couples do. They sit down, talk about serious things, and make decisions together. Sure, they may argue along the way, but the point is they’re making decisions together and respecting each other’s feelings. [Read: The signs it’s time to say goodbye – even if it’s hard]

#13 Cheating doesn’t seem so bad. When you hear about people cheating on one another, you don’t feel bad. In the beginning, you would be shocked and saddened. Now, you don’t see it as something bad. And that isn’t a sign of love, that’s a sign you need to move on.

[Read: How to recognize true love when you feel it]

No one wants to see these signs of a relationship of convenience in their life. You want to be with someone because you truly love them, and they love you. So, what’s your relationship status? True love or just something to pass the time?

The post 13 Signs of a Relationship of Convenience Masquerading as Love is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

What’s In The Course Package? (Part 3 of 3)

Dear Seeker of Success,

Today I’m going to explain to you briefly, HOW you will access the Language and Conversation Course and the Technical Manual.

The first, and possibly most exciting thing, for you to know, is:

You Will Claim INSTANT Online Access (As Soon As You Complete Your Order)

We have digital files – downloadable audios and workbooks – of BOTH courses loaded inside your Speed Seduction® Course Members’ Area.

(Old news at this point, since ALL our courses are digital now – but just so you can begin to picture yourself diving right in.)

They will be there for you immediately after the 1 minute it will take you to complete your registration when you visit the promotion page.

For Those Of You Who Like Structured, Linear Learning, This Will Really Tickle Your Tallywhacker, But GOOD!

In 2013, I released Rapid and Total Success With Women because many students demanded a course more structured and linear than the now-retired Speed Seduction® 3.0.

Since you love RTSW, you’ll go golly-gee-whillikers, ehrmygerrd, WOW, over the courses Dave Riker has created.

You’ve got high-quality MP3 audio files that you can stream online, download to your favorite mobile device, or play through iTunes.

You’ve got transcripts, that are also workbooks, with interactive exercises to complete.

Plus….

I’m Throwing In Some Of MY “Private Stock” Course Materials (Including Some Language Patterns)

Mastering these two courses means you won’t have to worry about rote memorization the way you used to.

It also means that even though you HAVE memorized the Discovery Channel pattern, the Twin Brothers pattern, and you know the Paris Hilton Joke so well, you’d have HER saying “that’s hot” if you told her in person…

….you’ll have deeper, more profound skillsets that ensure you literally never run out of things to say once you’ve used up all the patterns.

(OK, about that last one. Today, I call it the Scarlett Johansson Joke, because, 2019. But the point is, you can… insert… *cue Beavis and Butthead laugh* … any actress you… want… and the joke still works!)

All the same, I’m adding some “not for sale” documents containing language patterns you guys (especially you newer guys who have never seen them) are constantly asking Sheila about, which will be available to you ONLY if you take me up on this weekend’s offer.

Now finally….

A Few Words From “The Man” Himself (drumroll)…Dave Riker!

Dave has recorded some audios describing, in Aynal Engineer-level specific detail, exactly what you’ll gain from these courses.

Just click Play on the buttons below:

var playerhost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/salespagevids/ezs3js/secure/" : "http://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/salespagevids/ezs3js/player/"); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + playerhost + "flv/39456CE9-BA85-0FE1-2E212E12DCCDA973.js?t="+(Math.random() * 99999999)+"' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));

var playerhost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/salespagevids/ezs3js/secure/" : "http://rjpublicvideos.s3.amazonaws.com/salespagevids/ezs3js/player/"); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + playerhost + "flv/394593E8-095C-EB1E-094DD4006E2EE5B8.js?t="+(Math.random() * 99999999)+"' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));

See you on the inside!

Peace,

RJ

[russellthornton]

How to Enjoy Being Single and Live the Life You Really Want to Live

Singledom is not a punishment. It is not something to dread or mourn. You can learn how to enjoy being single and own your independence.

Learning how to enjoy being single is not as hard as it sounds. There is this huge misconception that being single is the worst thing you can be.

Our extended family, rom-coms, and novels constantly remind us that the sign of happiness and fulfillment in life is having a partner. Sure, a relationship can add to your life, but that is not the only way to be happy, fulfilled, or successful.

Although we are forced to dream about the perks of a relationship, there are so many perks of the single life that are often underrated and overlooked. [Read: What people fear the most about being single]

The benefits of learning how to enjoy being single

When I say you can enjoy being single, that does not mean you have to accept that you will always be single. It does not mean that is a choice you made and you can’t go back on it.

All I mean is you can be happy alone. We all know you can be happy in a relationship but it is forgotten that being single has its perks too. And, when you learn how to enjoy those perks it will be your taken friends that are jealous of you for once!

#1 You don’t have to suffer through first dates. First dates, although full of potential, are mostly nightmares. They are awkward and weird and sometimes gross. When you finally enjoy being single, you can stop forcing yourself to meet people for the sake of having a partner.

You can still meet people in all other ways, but first dates will no longer be the bane of your existence. [Read: Different ways to open up and make true friendships]

#2 You don’t need to suffer through dating apps. Dating apps are often just as bad, if not worse than first dates when it comes to dating. They are full of catfish, liars, cheaters, and just losers. When we find ourselves unhappy being single, we download one of these mind-numbing apps and swipe away.

Not only can these be bad for our psyche, but instead of perking us up about dating, they make us feel like crap. Once you learn how to enjoy being single, you can delete those accounts and enjoy your freedom on Saturday night.

#3 You don’t need to explain yourself. It may just be me, but I always hear my friends that are in relationships complaining about checking in with their partner. Whether they have to tell them where they are, where they are going, or who they are with, it sounds like a big responsibility.

Sure, there are benefits to it, but there are also benefits to having no one to answer to. You can flirt freely. You can dance with anyone. You can have friends that you had a history with. [Read: How to stay single until you’re seriously ready to mingle]

#4 You can build your confidence. When you are single, you have time to focus on yourself. You can decide what you actually want in the long run. You can decide who you want to be. And you can build up your self-esteem all on your own.

You won’t need reassurance from someone else. You can learn to rely on yourself. That way, if you do meet someone you want to date, you will be your own person. Dating can add to your life, but won’t define it.

#5 You get the bed to yourself.  This may be a little surface level compared to the others and the many more single life benefits, but it is nice. Not having a sheet hog or a snorer in bed next to you will get you the best sleep of your life.

How to enjoy being single

Now that you know just some of the benefits you get once you learn how to enjoy being single, don’t you want to know how to get there? I bet you do.

#1 Make friend dates. When in a relationship, people tend to create distance with their friends. It isn’t something we do on purpose, but when you can stay in watching Netflix with your partner over going out, you usually choose to stay in. And for some reason, we all tend to choose our partner over our friends.

Now that you are single, enjoy the variety. Make dates with friends. Do things you wouldn’t have time to do while in a relationship.

#2 Own your stuff. In relationships, even the healthiest of relationships, there are things we hide or protect our partners from. Whether you hide your midnight snack behind the quinoa in the cupboard or don’t share your whimsical music taste, own that stuff.

You don’t need to impress anyone but yourself. Do what you love unapologetically. [Read: Steps to unfaking your life and love being you]

#3 Save money. Or spend it. You are independent and can make your own choices without getting permission or needing to check in with anyone, except maybe your financial advisor. So enjoy saving your money or enjoy spending it on yourself.

Relationships, although great, can absorb a lot of income. When it is just you, you have control of it all without guilt.

#4 Let go of the fairytale. This sounds harsher than I mean. Just because you are happy being single doesn’t mean you have let go of the idea of being with someone. All it means is that you don’t need that fairytale to happen in order to be happy.

It is always a possibility and you can always have hope, but instead of dreading the fact that you haven’t found your other half. Enjoy finding yourself.

#5 Plan your future for you. I notice that a lot of people only plan their future, buy a house, or invest when they have a partner to share it with. But it is your life and whether you have a partner or not, it is worth you putting your best effort in.

All the things you would do or plan for if you did have a partner, you can still do for yourself.

#6 Travel. Traveling does not need to be a relationship thing. You can go with friends, family, or even a social group. You can travel alone, when safe. There are so many amazing experiences to enjoy around the world. Too many people wait to have them until they have a partner to share it with.

Those things can change your life and impact you forever. You don’t need someone to hold your hand to climb a mountain or bungee jump. Doing those things alone can feel even more powerful and liberating. [Read: Inspiring travel destinations for soul searching]

#7 Delete the past. When you are down on being single, you tend to dwell on the past. You think about what you did wrong or how things didn’t work out. But, when you are happy where you are, you can be grateful for the past instead of bitter.

You can delete your exes on social media, delete your online dating accounts, and just move forward. Focus on now instead of then.

#8 Challenge yourself. People always say they want a partner that challenges them or makes them a better person. Why not be that person for yourself? You can challenge yourself and hold yourself accountable.

You don’t need someone else pushing you to be better or care more. You can do that for yourself.

#9 Do what you love. No matter how great a relationship is, no two partners will love all the same things. But, when you are single you can do whatever you love. You can watch synchronized swimming or eat ice cream with ketchup. You can play roller derby. You can fully enjoy whatever you love without any objection. [Read: 13 reasons you should be loving your single life]

#10 Focus on friends and family. Being single does not mean you are alone nor a sentence to loneliness. You don’t need a partner to be loved or to share things with. If you have friends, family, and pets, focus your energy on them.

These people are what make your life so full. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you are romantically alone, focus on all the ways you are not alone.

[Read: How to explore the freedom of singledom *and enjoy it*]

You can easily learn how to enjoy being single. But, it all starts with the desire to live the life you have.

The post How to Enjoy Being Single and Live the Life You Really Want to Live is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

What’s In The Technical Manual? (Part 2 of 3)

Dear Seeker of Success,

Less than a day and a half before we throw open the doors to the amazeballs “Never Be Tongue-Tied With Tight Trim EVER AGAIN” courses.

Yesterday, I gave you a “behind the curtain” look at what awaits you tomorrow (Saturday) inside the Language and Conversation Course.

Today, we’re taking a good look inside the Speed Seduction® Technical Manual.

This Technical Manual Works On SO Many Levels, It’s Amazing

Are you looking for a full, deep understanding of the processes of Meeting Women, and Seduction?

What if you could FINALLY understand How and Why women think the way they do, and how YOU can become better at meeting the women or women of your dreams!?!

Have you ever wished that Speed Seduction® was taught in a more structured way, piece by piece, subject by subject, in a way that allows you to really understand it, really KNOW it, and really USE and APPLY it even better than before?

Are you a technical professional?

Maybe an engineer?

Scientist?

Accountant?

Or just someone that wants this all provided to you in a methodical, organized, and systematic way?

Well, what you have been waiting for has arrived.  Now let’s go through it.

Section 1: The Structure of the Mind

Dave goes into a LOT of detail to REALLY explain to you the way that people’s minds work. Now, he didn’t invent the mind guys! But what he has done here is come up with a way of thinking about people and their minds that allows you to have a better and more intuitive understanding of how people work, and WHY they do what they do, and what YOU can do to effect them.

Not the “NLP Wannabee” version (as in everyone who has ever read a Bandler book thinks he is an expert now), not the “Sammy Psych-Major” version (for the guy that sits in a leather chair and theorizes all day and can’t talk to a woman for his life) but a REAL understanding of how women work. This is KEY because with this, you become much better at knowing WHY people do what they do, and what…

… YOU need to do … to take her … where you would like her … to go … now …

Section 2: The Tools and Resources That You Have In Speed Seduction®

Have you ever stopped to think about HOW MANY TOOLS we have in our SS toolset?!?!?! Patterns, commands, trance words, weasel phrases, stories, jokes, demos, rapport tools, anchors, etc. etc. etc. etc. !!!!!!! Wow. There are a LOT.

When Dave lays out the full Tools and Resources of Speed Seduction®, he provides full details as to what each of these things are. He describes to you how one fits into another, how parts of one work with another. You get a REAL understanding of the full arsenal of tools that YOU have at your disposal. This is all presented in a hierarchy, so that you know what fits where, what items are made up of other items, and what things are the MOST important to focus on.

Even the structure used to describe The Tools and Resources helps as well. Ever wonder how to know WHAT to work on next? What you need to study? When you are “done” studying at a certain level? The Tools and Resources section gets into that too!

Section 3: The Process: The Actual Process, Step-By-Step, Of How To Really Use Speed Seduction® In The Field!

Now, he don’t go into like 47 steps (one guy on the ‘net has his “easy 15 step approach to getting women”, puh-leeze, … GET REAL …) No, Dave goes into five steps. Five. All the way from “Step 0, Living the Life” to “Step 4, The Close” (and by “close” I don’t mean get a phone number ….. LOL, that’s somewhere in Step 2 or 3…).

The Process is where all of it comes together. Think about it. The Structure of the Mind gets you to really understand what makes people tick, and why the do what they do. Then in the Tools and Resources section, you learn what YOU have at your disposal to effect their mind (and … your own) to get the results that you want.

In The Process, we see how, step by step, you go about doing all of this in the real world. How it REALLY happens.

And all of this is laid out in a structured way.

Get Your Ass Back Here Later Tonight For Even More

And by “more” I mean, a quick wrap-up so you know exactly what awaits you tomorrow.

In the meantime, sound off like you got a pair in the comments below.

Till then.

Peace,

RJ

[russellthornton]

What Is the Mile High Club: Is It On Your Sexual Bucket List?

For some, travel isn’t all about getting from A to B. Prepare to have your eyes fully opened with answers to your question: what is the mile high club?

If you wonder, what is the mile high club, don’t get it confused with the airline miles and rewards. Travel is a wonderful thing, and we now have more opportunities than ever before to visit some of the most beautiful destinations on the planet.

When you board a plane, what are you thinking? Are you wondering whether you left the gas on at home? Are you panicking about how to find your hotel when you arrive at your destination? Or, are you looking forward to a snooze until you land at the other end?

Not everyone has these concerns, in fact there are far more people than you might realize who become a little, shall we say, excited at the thought of jetting off? This excitement isn’t about looking forward to two weeks on a beach, it’s about getting busy on the plane!

Yes, many people love to travel because it means they can enter the mile high club. Are you a member? Come on, be honest! [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies you can try in real life]

What is the mile high club?

Despite the name, the mile high club isn’t an exclusive club which gives you discounts or benefits, it’s simply the slang name given for two people who have had sex at high altitude, e.g. while on the plane. Most likely in the toilets. However some people have attempted it in their seats, and probably got arrested for public indecency as a result!

There is no real understanding of why people suddenly get the urge to get busy while several thousand feet in the air. One possible reason is that the vibration of the plane in some cases can lead to arousal, especially for men. Whether you believe that or not is a personal decision. What’s more likely is people have heard about the mile high club and want to be members! [Read: 15 risky places to have sex and get your adrenaline racing]

Now, I should point out that you don’t get a medal, there are no secret meetings amongst the affiliated, and nobody gives you a pat on the back. In fact if you ask me, I would imagine it all to be rather stressful versus exciting!

Now, for the regular coach passenger, getting busy in an airplane toilet is difficult. Toilets are far smaller than they ever used to be. Maybe this is why we don’t hear about this rather sacred of clubs as much as you used to. Think about it, someone gets their foot stuck down the toilet, bangs their head, the door flies open. Seriously, how is this exciting?!

Is the mile high club against the law?

There is no actual law against having, ahem, ‘fun’, in an airline toilet. But there is a law against public indecency. If you have sex in public then yes, you can be arrested and charged. This is why most people tend to head to the toilets to stamp their entry into the mile high club legend. Otherwise, the police are likely to be waiting for the plane when it lands wherever you’re going.

Basically, there’s a difference between getting down to it in your airline seat, and heading to the toilets, with a lock on the door. That’s not to say that it’s welcomed. It’s certainly not, especially when there is a queue of people outside who are all dying to relieve themselves in a more regular way! How are you supposed to both get out of the toilet without it looking super obvious?

Okay, I get how you would get in. The old routine is that one partner goes to the toilet and waits. A few seconds later, the other one goes and knocks on the door, they are let in, and there you go, the fun starts. But, just for a second, what if someone else beats the partner to the queue?

What if someone gets in-between and there is one partner waiting breathlessly in the toilet, with a stranger outside thinking they’re simply waiting for someone to finish what they’re doing and get out? [Read: How to be good at sex – 17 moves that’ll make you the hottest lay]

What could go wrong?

As you can see, joining the mile high club is packed with things which could go wrong. Maybe that’s why so many people find it an attractive option. It’s exciting because of the thrill. I mean, whatever floats your boat, or flies your plane, but doing the walk of shame down the aisle of an aircraft in front of a plane load of strangers would certainly be awkward.

You’re unlikely to end up thrown in prison for having sex in an airline toilet, but if you attempt it in your seat and you’re caught, you could be looking at a public indecency charge. Not something you want to take home with you as a souvenir!

What is more likely to happen if you are caught, is that the airline may ban you from using their services again in the future. This is up to the specific airline, but they are well within their rights to stop you from booking flights with them, provided they can prove that they aren’t discriminating against you for other reasons, e.g. a disability you might have, or because of your age or gender.

Is the mile high club as popular as it used to be?

We used to hear about the legendary club constantly during the ‘80s and ‘90s, but these days not so much. Does that mean it’s not happening? Er, no! It simply means that it’s not considered as risqué as it used to be. Perhaps we’re not as easily shocked as we once were.

What is considered shocking in the ‘80s, is part and parcel of life these days. It could also be that people are a lot more sneaky about it than they ever were before! [Read: Do you have a sexual wish list? Some ideas to help you build your list]

The mile high club will always be around. Let’s face it, the allure for some people will never go away. It’s a personal deal whether or not it’s something you feel the need to do. For me, I think I would be far too terrified about getting caught to actually attempt it. I certainly wouldn’t enjoy it for that very reason.

Aside from anything else, I really don’t find airplane toilets to be that erotic! What if there is turbulence? Can you imagine the door flying open when you’re in a compromising position?

Most airline staff aren’t on the lookout for people sneaking off to the toilets for this kind of fun, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t be reported if you are caught. To be honest, they’re far more concerned with health and safety.

[Read: 7 sexiest places you can ever have sex in]

So, now that you know what is the mile high club, have you joined? What did you think about it at the time? I’d be interested to know if you actually enjoyed it!

The post What Is the Mile High Club: Is It On Your Sexual Bucket List? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

What’s In The Language and Conversation Course? (Part 1 of 3)

Dear Seeker of Success,

You have voted, and by an overwhelming majority you said “FUCK YES, ROSS!”

So, we’re gonna DO IT!

Here’s the scoop:

Today, and for the next couple of days, I’m revealing the amazeballs details of what you’ll find in two courses we’re about to unleash.

We’re actually releasing TWO courses – the Speed Seduction® Language and Conversation Course and the Speed Seduction® Technical Manual – which means we have a lot to reveal here.  For that reason, I’m excited here to…

Start Spilling The Beans Of What You’ll Be Getting When We Open The Shopping Cart At 12:00 Noon Pacific, Saturday, April 27th

Would you like to learn the Language of Speed Seduction®?

What if you could easily and naturally use the words, phrases, commands, sentences, and all of the language tools, as easily as you speak now?

Do you know how some people are just able to have fun, fascinating, interesting conversations with just about anyone (especially women), anywhere, anytime?

And how some people can even get a conversation to go exactly where they want?

OK, Let’s Break It Down: This Speed Seduction® Language And Conversation Course Is Action-Packed!

This is NOT some academic exercise, not some way to simply sit around and “think about all of this”.

The whole goal of this product is an extreme increase in the depth and breadth and TRUE and deep understanding geared towards application, REAL-WORLD APPLICATION!

This product is PACKED with info, insight, new ways of thinking, ways to program YOU to understand and use these concepts.

Let me show you everything that is included in the Language And Conversation Course.

The Language And Conversation Course is divided into three main sections.

Section 1: Speaking and Language Techniques

This section will help you with the skills of speaking in that relaxed, interesting, engaging way that women LOVE. We work on your voice, on being able to project the correct energy, passion, and have people just LOVE to hear you talk!

We also break down all of those “bits and pieces” that are used ALL the time in Speed Seduction®. The commands, trance words, phrases, etc. that you have heard again and again but tried to “memorize” (and, for many guys, with limited success). The training exercises in this Language Course help you become SO familiar with them that you don’t have to “think” about it – you just do it!

Plus, by REALLY deciphering how the best students speak, we have learned about an entire set of language techniques that have never really been spelled out before.

Things that the “naturals” (the guys that are naturally able to meet women) do. Things that the best students do! Ways to easily link feelings to you, to anchor then to you, to make women just feel GOOD when you are around, to get women interested and fascinated just to hear you talk! (Don’t worry, these techniques are VERY easy to learn and master now that they have been broken down in this manner.)

And ALL of this comes along with exercises and assignments, things that YOU do, step-by-step, so that you become TRAINED to just TALK THIS WAY!

Section 2: Conversational Management

Have you ever been stuck in a dead-end conversation that goes NOWHERE? Been stuck talking about subjects that are BORING or that couldn’t get ANYONE excited?

This part goes WAY beyond anything ever presented before. In this section, you will be taught and trained on various conversational tools that will allow you to easily and swiftly take conversations where YOU want them to go!

We break down conversations and give you tools that allow you to focus on having conversations that are fun, positive and interesting. The more you do that, the easier it gets, and the more people will see YOU as someone who is fun to spend time with!

Then we go further in showing you how to have conversations that get REALLY interesting … that have a fascinating, emotional, exciting component to them. And then … we move towards conversations that go … even further … when the time is right.

The key parts of these techniques are broken down into a model and specific steps, and specific skills, that you are taught and that you will practice, so that these become automatic for you. You can get to a level of skill that allows you to get from ANY topic to a Seduction Oriented Topic, in a very short while, and have it all sound very natural and interesting.

Section 3: Patterns and Topics

These sections build upon the language and speaking tools so that “memorizing patterns” is a thing of the past!

Imagine having literally HUNDREDS of subjects, topics, and things to talk about, that aren’t something you need to “think about”, they aren’t a “script”, they become things that YOU KNOW and that YOU CAN TALK ABOUT as easily as you can say your own name!

Sure, we refer to some of the “patterns” you may have seen before, but we quickly move you into learning how to discuss topics that YOU find interesting, in ways that are fascinating and charismatic, and in that compelling way that women LOVE!

We also will teach you about the concept of Seduction Oriented Topics.

Think about EASILY knowing how to discuss and speak about dozens upon dozens of topics that are the kinds that WORK with women!

Now imagine knowing them SO well, so fluently, that you can just talk about them at length, AT WILL! Well, YOU WILL by the time you are done with this course!

This Language Course Brings It All Together, So Easily…

These sections all build upon each other, step by step. These sections are all taught in a way that one skill builds upon the next. You learn small details, and move into larger ones. You learn the language tools well, and then learn about having conversations and using those language tools IN those conversations.

Imagine what it would be like to just discuss just about ANY topic that comes up, and move the conversation into more and more interesting areas. Then, RIGHT when you need it, being able to create the language you need, there, in the moment, on-the-fly!

Just like a jazz musician who can improvise a solo, or a world-class football player who can improvise and weave and run through any number of opponents with ease, YOU will be able to talk about almost ANY subject and create the language YOU need to get results!

Wow…I Think I’ve Said Enough For Now… Tune In Tomorrow For Part 2

Tomorrow, in part 2, I’m going to “get technical” on you when I lay out the Technical Manual for you.

Of course, I invite your comments below.

Peace,

RJ

[russellthornton]

How to Fix a One-Sided Relationship Before It Ends in Failure

If you’re the one doing all the running, it’s time for an intervention before the end is nigh. Read on if you wonder how to fix a one-sided relationship.

Are you always the one to text first or who suggests dates and nights out? Do you have the niggling feeling that you’re invested in this relationship more than your partner? If so, my friend, you’re in the midst of a one-sided relationship. You’re probably wondering how to fix a one-sided relationship.

One-sided relationships can be extremely damaging and upsetting for the person who is doing all the giving, while the other is take, take, take. Nobody wants to feel undervalued or not cared for. If that’s what a relationship is meant to feel like, why would anyone actually want to be in one in the first place?

No, relationships are supposed to be equal. Okay, on certain days you might give a little more and your partner might do the same on another day, but that’s just life. When the imbalance seems to be a permanent or ongoing thing, it’s time to sit up and take notice. What happens if you don’t? You’re basically allowing yourself to go down a route towards total unhappiness and being taken for granted. You deserve much better than that.

The good news is that there is sometimes an intervention that can make a difference. Of course, it all depends on whether or not the one not paying much attention is willing to change. [Read: The signs you’re wasting your time in a one-sided relationship]

How to tell if your relationship is one-sided

First things first, how can you actually tell whether there really is a distinct imbalance in your relationship? You can’t simply jump to the conclusion that you’re in a one-sided relationship just because last week your partner hasn’t been that attentive. Perhaps, they were stressed at work, or they’ve got something on their mind.

Look at the relationship so far as a whole. Has it always been this way? Were they far more attentive at the start, then once they ‘got you,’ everything changed?

This is such a common situation, and most of us have experienced at some point. The problem is, when you have feelings for someone, it is difficult to simply walk away. In that case, learn how to fix a one-sided relationship and put a plan into action.

Take that course of action if you are experiencing or feel any of the following points on a regular basis.

– You’re always the one doing the planning, e.g. nights out, lunches, weekends away, and they never come up with any suggestions of their own

– You’re always the one texting or calling first

– You haven’t met family or friends yet *bear in mind that this is perfectly normal if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks to a month*

– You feel like your feelings are taken for granted, i.e. they never ask how your day was or show you any concern if you’re feeling down [Read: 16 clear and discreet signs you’re being taken for granted already]

– You’re always the one asking them if they’re okay, how their day was, if they need anything, etc.

– You just don’t feel appreciated

If you can nod your head to most of those signs *it doesn’t have to be all of them*, then you may very well be in a relationship which is tipping so far to one side, it is in serious danger of falling over altogether.

So, what is the answer? Walk away or try and fix it? [Read: 20 hard signs it’s time for you to throw in the towel and walk away from the relationship]

How to fix a one-sided relationship before you call time

Firstly, by giving you this run down on how to fix a one-sided relationship, I am by no means advocating that you accept the relationship as it is. It has to be your decision on whether or not you are happy to try and fix it, and if you really do feel like it’s not worth it, walk away with your head held high.

What I am saying is that it could very well be that your partner simply doesn’t realize how you feel. In this case, perhaps it’s worth one shot? Only you can decide, but I have been in this position myself, and I decided to try and fix it.

The relationship came to a natural end a year afterwards, but it wasn’t to do with this reason. I was glad I had the conversation because it actually improved things for a while.

There are six steps to this process. [Read: How to get through a rough patch in a relationship]

#1 Think carefully. The first part is really about identifying how you feel. Think carefully before you make any moves here; are you sure that this hasn’t only been going on for a week or two? Could there be another reason? Are you looking for things that aren’t there? Sometimes, if you’ve been treated badly in a previous relationship, it can be all too easy to place the same label on a new relationship. Think about it and be clear.

#2 Communicate in a clear way. Once you know how you feel, sit down with your partner and communicate how you feel. Keep your emotions out of it if you can, but if they flow outwards don’t worry about it, you’re simply being real. Explain as clearly as you can about how it makes you feel. Avoid pointing the blame, with words like ‘you did this …’; instead say ‘I feel …’. [Read: What steps do you need to take to tell your partner you are unhappy?]

#3 Identify if they’re willing to change. From the conversation you’ve just had, you’ll be able to ascertain whether they’re willing to change or not. If they clearly rejected your points, then as upsetting as it may be, it’s best to walk away now. You don’t deserve to be blamed for things you haven’t done, and you certainly don’t deserve to beg for attention. Walk away with your head up.

If they seemed open to change, or they perhaps didn’t even realize they were acting that way and maybe apologized, make it clear what you want and then see how it goes.

#4 Concentrate on one thing only. After you’ve had the conversation, you’re likely to be on high-alert, looking for signs of change or otherwise. You’ll burn yourself out if you do this. Instead, stick to one problem at a time. Are they suggesting dates more often? Once you’ve ascertained change in that department, move onto another area. Are they texting you first on occasion? Don’t overwhelm yourself, or them, with a list of points to address.

#5 Look after number one. Throughout this whole process, after you’ve voiced your concerns, turn your attention onto yourself. Do the things you love, spend time with friends, and go out and enjoy yourself. Spend time out of the relationship as well as in it. This will allow you to regroup and recover from the way you felt before the conversation took place.

It might also make your partner see that you’re not putting all your eggs into one basket, so to speak. Ironically, by focusing on yourself, it’s likely to turn their focus onto you too. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally]

#6 The final question. What do you do if you don’t see much in the way of improvement? How long do you leave it? How long do you stay? These are questions to carefully consider. After that initial conversation and in the weeks afterwards, if you see no change, or perhaps there was a small change and then it went back to the way it was before, decide whether this relationship is really for you or not.

If they don’t place an importance on your feelings, then there is no happy future in your union. Unfortunately, it’s really that simple. You cannot keep having the same conversation over and over again. You will sound like a stuck record and there’s no fun in that.

[Read: Don’t ignore these hidden signs of a one-sided relationship]

The bottom line is that knowing how to fix a one-sided relationship cannot be one-sided either. If they can’t see what is in front of them, the only thing you can do is wave your hand goodbye. You owe that to yourself.

The post How to Fix a One-Sided Relationship Before It Ends in Failure is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.