#not sure what it is but ok

[samuelroukin]

also i was out earlier to pick up my regular cigarette order from the drugstore and the government recently jacked up the prices again so the guy was like 'hah think you should be worried?' since we talked abt it last time and i was like yeag. and then he was like 'surprise :^) same cost since i ordered from a supplier that still had them. for you'

same guy who was said he was getting on his knees for me btw

#he wants me /joking #weird vibes bc he does stuff like that but also seems to not like me so ? #then again i have that effect on straight men sometimes lkfjkhkgjhst #meaning they'll do things for me for no reason #not sure what it is but ok #ben.txt

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

#book 22 #im verh drunk #hi #greatest hits #not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok #is everyone just at the shiva #yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags #i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this #but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk #this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting #more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish #but again this isnt about sitting shiva #this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad #idk what to tell u man

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

#do YOU think jeeves and wooster would survive castle dracula? let me know in the comments! #they're in the castle separately instead of together because those are the rules ok #the isolation is key #though if anyone wants to speculate about what would happen if they went together i will NOT complain #i don't even know what's going on with the tenses in this post i'm sorry #// #jeeves and wooster #reginald jeeves #bertie wooster #dracula #do i need to tag dracula spoilers? #sure there are some people new to receiving letters from our good friend jonathan harker #here it is just in case: #dracula spoilers #i have done my due diligence

[princerevelucide]

the BEST new pokémon in gen 9 btw are these two sanrio reject ass mice that count as one pokemon together

but they they silently evolve from level 25+ into the exact same two mice but now they have 1 or 2 kids with them. literally you open your party to discover that these two mice FUCKED in their pokeball and have now sprung their kid(s) on you

#pokemon #pokemon sv spoilers // #sv spoilers // #tandemaus #maushold #THE SECOND EVO IS. A PUN ON HOUSEHOLD!!!! #but yes they’re my favourites from this gen so far #poyo.txt #ok to rb #like yeah sure the dex says the children only ‘’might’’ be related #but they still don’t know where eggs come from. we know what happened #also i named mine Nuclear because they’re a nuclear family

[gatoiberico]

the depths

print

#totk #botw #loz #link #zelda #elgatoiberico #finally done this shenanigan of a scene #I wanted to try doing something a bit more ambitious #also punchy #or rather action...y #I've also been feeling kinda lost with my art and what I wanna do with it so this was basically a “try it out and see” piece #what I ended up seeing is that link is so small #I mean sure he's small but he's small x 2 here #sorry link all the glory goes to the bokoblin getting slapped #on a completely #ok nearly completely #different side note did anyone else take a while to figure out how to fight armoured bokoblins?? #bc I needed a moment to understand and it really did take me a Moment and then some

[yashley]

It’s about this time, another voice pushes into your head, like a bat out of hell. 

#critical role #cr lb #ygifs #cr3 #WHAT IF I CRY #jester #imogen #sensory overload imogen Finally getting her own jester sending as jester is firing all her slots to talk to her ok girls........... #jesters like ok ok ok so I can’t send anymore messages but I was talking to this really cowboy girl fjord do you know her and he's like #she was talking about lake umami and jester makes eyebrows and jester immediately tries sending again and gets psychic coldcocked again #but do you think about how hard imogen woulda fallen for this bubbly tiefling had they known eachother cos I sure will ok fine #LAURA GETTIN EMOTIONAL GIRL ME TOO

[macbethz]

that tweet where they transvestigate rob mcelhenny makes me laugh so hard

happy pride trans icon <3

#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY. LIKE OK. SURE. THIS IS WHAT WERE DOING NOW #like i feel like transvestigation is not commonly done for trans men. equality #warlock wartalks #iasip #always sunny

[mermer404]

Israeli leftists have done more for Palestine than any of you "boycott McDonald's" & "look what this person said on Twitter" buffoons.

These were your strongest allies, your foot soldiers on the field. And you spit in their faces. Piss on their loved ones' literal actual open graves.

You done fucked up.

#ישראל #ישראבלר #? #not sure what to tag this so as not to draw any assholes to it #i/p #thats an ok tag right? #fuck this shit

[shriika]

yet how wonderful the lie!

#finished claras route feminism wins #its the least polished for sure but MAN i like clara #pathologic #clara pathologic #clara changeling #clara saburova #This is what happens when u dont have a last name smh #ok guys i finally tried making ��serious” patho art #shriikadraws #my art #quote from the verrrry final talk you have w your sister that whole convo was so much #tempted to tag daniil for exposure but.... i wont.....

[funkily]

these 10 seconds have changed my brain chemisty like nothing else

transcript:

Pix: Scott!

Scott: (distant) So I think I have - Oh! Um... hello?

Pix: Hey.

Scott: Hellooo? Hi!

Pix: Come out here. We need to talk.

Scott: Talk about what?

Pix: I think -

Scott: How are you? You look dashing today.

Pix: Uh, that's... neither here nor there.

#i hope the transcripts ok ive never done one before #anyways . fight flight or flirt amen #sorry for posting old empires clips it will happen again #empires smp #scott smajor #smajor1995 #pixlriffs #id tag this ship but im not entirely sure what their portmanteau is . and my other options are weather husbands (s1) or graverobbers (???) #so . #babbleeng #fav #transcribed

[fanaticalthings]

Broke: "Dick Grayson was upset at a new kid taking over his mantle because he doesn't think Jason will be good enough as Robin"

Woke: "Dick is upset at Jason, not because he's suddenly taking over the mantle he created, but because Jason isn't nearly feral enough of a child to drive Bruce insane in Dick's place"

Dick: You wanna be my successor? Go swing from that chandelier right now.

Jason:

Dick: As a matter of fact, I need to see you crawling all over the walls. Make a ruckus, break some furniture

Jason: But Bruce-

Dick: SCREW Bruce. Your job as my new brother is to make his life HELL. Why are you so polite? Why are you so calm? Where's your DRIVE, your PASSION, huh? You may be worthy of the title of Robin, but are you WORTHY of being my disaster brother?

Jason, a little scared: I dont-

Dick, scoffing: The youth these days just don't rebel like they used to.

#Bruce watching Dick take Jason out on a lil hangout day: Im sure everything will be fine :) #Alfred: You have no idea what youve done. #Dick: do you at least have any hobbies #Jason: i read #Dick: (in tears) i got such a BORING brother #[jason coming back as gotham's new uprising crime lord] #dick: see THATS what im talking about FINALLY a worthy successor #dick: remember littlewing when u turn 16 u gotta up the angsty teen performance tenfold just to REALLY make B's life difficult #jason a few years later: *dies in the most horrifying way possible leaving Bruce an anguished depressed mess* #dick: Wow ok I did NOT think he'd outdo me like this #this is how they bonded as brothers :) #this is kinda a continuation on a prev post abt Robin Jason being the polite kid lol #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #robin!jason #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batdad #batkids #batbros #dc #crack #incorrect quotes #fanatical posting

[nuka-rockit]

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #durge #the dark urge #meme #my stuff #ok to rb #good aligned dark urge #i guess #thats been what ive been doing basically #sure i want to kill but also? autism

[ionlytalktodogs]

Hot take but canes are not a limited resource. Most mobility aids aren’t but canes especially. Canes are $20 at a lot of stores like CVS, Walmart, etc. You aren’t taking that resource away from “real” disabled people (hint: you ARE a real disabled person) in fact buying more canes creates more demand and works to make more stores carry them for better prices. You aren’t faking being disabled or hurting disabled people, you’re working to make canes more accessible which is helping disabled people.

Get the cane.

#I'm endlessly advocating for ppl to get canes #they can be so helpful #and what's the worst thing that could happen? you try it and it doesn't help? #ok sure you wasted $20 but you could donate it to someone who needs it and can't afford it! #what's the downside. #just get a cane. #it improved my life tenfold #just do it #disabled #disability #physical disability #cane user #mobility aid #mobility aids #disabled pride #disabled joy #10k #15k #my ramblings

[midoristeashop]

Long car trips mean hunch over my ipad and film dumb stupid videos in restaurants at 11pm 😍 (future me screw u idk if it’s shaky also do not perceive me)

(That one vine)

Also have the things

#I didn’t even plan to use this audio LMAO #it worked ig I just added words #hijack #jackycup #it’s so wild yall car trips fuck me up cuz what do u mean I slept 4 hours straight and now there’s snow #IN CALI?? #ate some bomb ass food tho while filming and my sis just stared at me the whole time 😔 #ig that’s how ​toofthelss greets people LMAO #expressions are fun #I may not animatic but I can sure hope and dream #if u see this no u didn’t #a little loopy it’s fine yall #edit: omgf ITS SO SHAKY I AM ASHAMED #TY FOR LIKING THIS BUT ALSO WOW DO I KINDA HAYE IT #😔 it’s ok I’ll just dig a hole and lay down for a while it’s fine

[stuckinapril]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all #Being dry and cryptic to me #And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship #I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since #And my palette is so cleansed #When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist #There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but #I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out #I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually #Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like #Yeah I’m dropping this for now #I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk #Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill #The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all #I fr cracked it #I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway #But they’re so not worth it #Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun #Not for me #I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me #And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious #Which is why it never works #Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different #So lame #Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags

[sleepsucks]

#04.11.22 #3162 #ok what will tumblr dot com thinkg of this one in terms of censorship i wonder #bottom panels thought is silly to look back on im not sure what i was thinking.lame joke