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dual-domination · 6 months

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Twenty questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @forerussake Thank you very much! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43 works public works, 4 anon works (because of harassment), total 47 works

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

388,480 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, only Guardian and DMBJ (Detective L and GYADL count as Weilan Derivatives, so… still Guardian somehow skjsjsk)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Closer to my heart, back to our home - MDZS/Nieyao (139) Stars aligned in a perfect sky - Guardian X DMBJ/Zhaoxie/Pingsang and later Weilanxie (77) Completely Yours - MDZS/Nieyao (69) Shoot my heart - Guardian/Weilan (52) - Terrible, my first Guardian fic, written for a tumblr request, one day I’ll edit that fic bc I love the concept, but it’s not a good work at all >< Maybe you just don't understand the brain of an ancient alien - Guardian X DMBJ/Weilanxie (52)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I can take a while to do so, but I’ll always reply to comments, even if some get lost and I have to dig on my inbox to find out after months Ç_Ç (I’m sorry, I’m just messed when it comes to long comments and/or the ones that make me cry). I also love when authors reply to my comments on their fics.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Let me think for a moment, because I’m all ‘happy endings’ here. Probably Wrong side of Hell, a Zhaoxie Cop/Mob AU, because even when it’s tagged as happy/hopeful ending, it’s a momentary happiness, but the future prospects are against them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

With the ending already posted? No idea But in general, I think it’s Maybe he's just an ancient alien who likes cute socks because everything here is just silly, domestic, sweet and warm. Like the panda print socks. Probably this fic will remain as the ending of this series because I’m not very enthusiastic when it comes to writing in Guardian Drama-verse

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah. A LOT. Nowadays it happens once in a while, but when I started posting my first Zhaoxie fic, Stars aligned in a perfect sky , I got so much hate on my askbox and even dms from people that I used to see as friends. Mostly were anon on my askbox, really WTF things, people were truly upset that I was shipping Zhao Yunlan with someone else that was not Shen Wei. When things started changing and this fic showed a hint of what could be (or not) an OT3 fic (so, Shen Wei!), I got even more hate and a lot of bigotry about polyamory! It was an insane moment. If someone wants to know the outcome, this fic has almost 300k (yet only around 100k posted) and IT IS OT3 - also set my career as crossover + OT3 writer kjskjskjsj. My askbox is still open to anon and will always be. You can send hate or love, you choose. Hate will NEVER be responded, though. I delete all hate I receive.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In English, usually no. In my 1st language, I used to, eventually, within long works, with plot. But once I fully stopped writing in my 1st language, I found it hard to write very descriptive sex scenes - also doesn’t help how confused I get having to explain where their legs and hands are and what the hell they’re doing with their tongues. But I managed it twice, one is in a posted work (2Luo) Love is a heart’s choice, and the other is in an upcoming chapter of a WIP (not the current series, yet I wish kjskjsjs)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh man, I’m a crossover writer. I LIVE for my crossovers and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back writing a non-crossover fic. (Also love reading crossovers, hello Fixa!) But craziest one? Guess it was a drabble for Fixa (and I loved that), DMBJ x LOTR, it’s not on ao3, but it’s here on tumblr… somewhere. It’s Wu Xie + a Palantír.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A whole fic? No idea. But concepts, ideas, dialogues, yes. Multiple times.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

It counts the fics I translated myself/wrote bilingual? If not, then no, unless that yes and I don’t know about sjkkjsjs

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Of course! Since the beginning of my life as a ficwriter (I started writing originals long before writing fics). I’m used to working with Vince @victorian-pirate more often, with Arjun @sagittariusdarkarrow when he wants to play specific characters in my fics, but in other fandoms I used to co-write even more than nowadays. With Tazzy, I have a 2Luo series, but we still don’t have a fic we fully wrote together, each part of the series is written by one or the other. I’m always open to talk about co-writing.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Only one ship? Look, I live in fandoms for 3 decades, but not always for shipping (Tolkien, for example), but there are a few ships that will always be appealing to me. I’m going for Weilanxie here, because I didn’t expect this OT3 to be so powerful to me and hold so deep meanings in my life (both fandom and real life).

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

It’s mine and Vince’s beloved fic, Seawater is tears shed in the shores (not posted). I don’t doubt we can finish, I doubt we will, because we’d have to rewrite a lot to have the results we want, and that WIP is HUGE, which makes us lazy… Now, about my MDZS wips, it’s not a doubt, I’m sure I’ll never finish because I have no interest in doing so. I wrote for fun and practice, but that fandom never got my heart the way DMBJ and Guardian did.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, long plots, worldbuilding. And The Shower - any idea I struggle with, I just need to take a shower to have it clear and perfect on my mind, so guess that counts.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sex scenes and fighting scenes - too many movements, too confused touching and hitting and doing this and that, but I still can manage a pretty decent fighting scene when needed.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it’s a language I speak, yep. If I don’t, but can make sure that it’s not only grammatically correct, but also culturally correct, also yep. Otherwise, I’d be committing a crime against what I love the most

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HAHA GOOD QUESTION, I HAVE NO IDEA. I started writing fics when I was around 13 (25 years ago), about any and every media I loved, like movies, books, bands - no computer, me and my friends used to write on paper and everyone in the classroom would greedily read and wait for another chapter/story (I’m introvert, but never shy about my writing). But that I clearly remember because it was the 1st fandom I POSTED for, because we already could access the internet once in a while from other people’s computers at that time, was Saint Seiya.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I don’t even know how many fics I’ve written in my life. But maybe Forgotten Songs of Arda, (this fic starts at and with the beginning of The Silmarillion and goes until long post-LOTR. It’s a rewritten story, from the pov of an OC and Mairon/Sauron). It was written around 15 years ago, so I don’t quite remember enough, and despite being in my 1st language, Vince (who doesn’t speak my 1st language) translated that to read (that was one of the things that built our friendship). The few parts still alive are with him, I lost most of my old fics last year, when my previous laptop completely scattered on the floor. In EN, for sure Stars aligned in a perfect sky (main and side-stories)

tagging @tazzy-ace @jaimebluesq @lacommunarde @omaenanimonoda and I don't remember who else I didn't see already tagged in this Ç_Ç

#writing #tag game

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fukiana · 8 months

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to clarify (sorry for the double ask), i don’t mean to sound invasive or pushy and if you only block for specific reasons and something about me broke that i accept that and totally understand, i’m just confused bc i keep seeing your bg3 gifsets on other blogs and i can’t rb them anymore which is a shame bc they’re great

hi anon, i’m sorry i can’t give you a solid reason why i blocked you but i do block very liberally, maybe your reblog of a post i’m not interested in landed on my for you tab and i didn’t want it in there. it’s almost never personal, and just about me curating the “heavily governed by a mysterious algorithm” parts of this site because if i don’t i’ll be inundated with things i don’t want to see and if THAT happens i will become even more of a passive aggressive hater. this could be tv shows i don’t care about, ships i’m neutral about or admittedly good responses to bad takes but i don’t want to be exposed to the bad takes in the first place. if i’m overexposed to that stuff i notice i start making passive aggressive vent vagueblogs and i don’t want to be that kind of person

also fwiw i recently had a few bad experiences with the bee gee 3 fandom which led to me backflipping out of the fandom (which here means ‘deleting 90% of the posts in my queue and either unfollowing or blocking everyone i followed earlier in the month’) because it kind of poisoned my enjoyment of the game. i have the relevant tags blacklisted but if there’s untagged posts on my for you page i just block the person who put it there.

tldr genuinely ty for the compliments and i’m sorry for blocking you but until tumblr steals twitter’s mute feature i kinda have to block like this. it probably wasn’t personal i’m just trying to not let social media turn me into an asshole.

#blogging about it #not elaborating on the Incidents but. that fandom really speedran any% da fandom levels of toxicity in like 2 weeks…

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bisamwilson · 2 years

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fanfic writer asks

Tagged by: @oftincturedwords, thank u!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

221,815! which is wild

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

you’ll only find things for the mcu/tfatws bc i orphaned a bunch of really old fics from when i was a (pre) teen, but back in the day i also wrote for divergent, pjo, les mis, and i think a few others

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh so saccharine (304)

i wanna hear it loud (292)

religion (u can lay your hands on me) (290)

renaissance man (263)

i just met you (and this is crazy) (256)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

the star wars au! it’s still a hopeful sort of angsty i think, but that whole fic is mostly just pining and feelings that don’t really get resolved so,,,, definitely not SUPER angsty, but more angsty than i usually go for

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i feel like most of my fics have happy endings bc i just can’t write angst for too long adkjfhs, but stuck in the middle with you filled my “happy ending” sam wilson bingo square, so i’m gonna go with that one

7. Do you write crossovers? If so , what is the craziest one you’ve written?

nope! i’ve never been a fan of reading crossovers, so i’m not really keen to write one either. i’ll write an au all day, but i’m prob not going to have jim and spock time travel back to meet sam and bucky, yk?

8. Do you write smut? If so , what kind?

oh boy do i! 50% of my published works are rated E asdjkf. i’m not really sure what the “what kind” question is asking? like is this asking if i write m/m, f/f, m/f? if so, i’ve only ever written m/m(/m) but could be open to writing f/f if i come across a ship i want to write for it! i can’t see myself writing m/f smut ever, but maybe one day. if it’s asking what i usually write about, i’ve written many a sex scene with many a kink between sam and bucky, but i guess i usually write top bucky more than top sam (though i’m a firm believer they do switch, bucky just tops 75-90% of the time)

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes! i usually end up responding to comments around the time i post my next fic asdfjk but i read them all as soon as i get that email from ao3! i respond to comments bc sometimes people have things to add on to or ask about a fic and i want to engage, but even when it’s just a “this is great!” i want to say thank you so they know i saw and appreciated their comments!

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not hate per se, but i have had a couple people comment “this is great, but i think i would’ve written x” which i promptly delete without responding. also to that one person who commented on my consensual somnophilia fic saying they kind of hoped sam would moan out someone else’s name while asleep, we have very different opinions on the type of person sam is.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! and hopefully i never will, that would be heartbreaking

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope! if anyone would ever want to translate my fic they’re welcome to tho and i’d love to get linked to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nothing published, but @yammz and i started a 5+1 sbj fic where bucky is a menace about sexting when sam and joaquín are on missions! it’s admittedly been a while since we’ve worked on it though, it’s been a busy summer (and i have so many other writing deadlines rip)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i mean the fact that it inspired me to write fic and gave me such a wonderful and vibrant online community i’ve never had before means i feel like i gotta write sambucky here, but spirk comes in a very close second!

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

as much as it pains me, probably the sbj fic where they’re in an angle relationship with sam in the middle but buckyquin are still pining for each other/thinks the other dislikes them but joaquín gets caught up in a post mission celebration and smacks bucky’s ass playfully and it becomes a Whole Thing. i started it with multiple povs and that is,,, too daunting for me

also jury’s out on whether i’ll ever finish the sam with an eating disorder fic. it’s a bit too personal and i have to make sure i’m not triggering myself while writing it/i’m in a good headspace to do so

16. What are your writing strengths?

i feel like i’m pretty good with dialogue? i write a lot of it and i generally like how it ends up. i also feel like i’m good with characterization, at least with sam and bucky in particular, and i’m really proud of the way i’ve developed them as i write each fic, and the headcanons i come up with and incorporate

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i hate writing ending lines!!!! i feel like 80% of my ending lines suck and i’m consistently insecure about them and i agonize over them so often or just write a placeholder that ends up in the actual fic bc i couldn’t think of something better

also i love that i feel like i have a writing style, but sometimes i wonder if it’s too much? like if my particular style gets too repetitive the more fics i put out yk?

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i don’t usually do it, mostly bc i only speak one language fluently and my latin/korean (which i took in school) are rusty at best and entirely gone at worst. i enjoy seeing other people do that though, though i will admit i get kind of annoyed when it doesn’t get translated after or in author’s notes, mostly bc google translate never translates anything just right

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

divergent asdfjkahs. i was like 11 and i wrote a small fic (probably 1000 words max) that was some type of character study of tobias i think

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i mean the obvious answer here is the princess diaries au bc it’s my baby BUT i’m actually really proud of my star wars au. it’s been a while since i’ve written something and been like “yeah this is really good work and i’m very proud of this” and that’s how i felt when i published that

this one is SUPER long, so very much no pressure tagging @livingincolorsagain, @logicheartsoul, @firstelevens, @yammz, and @obsessivelymoody

#i have so many more writing mutuals but gotta leave some tags for everyone else to use adsjkf #thanks for the tag!!!#tag game #marvel #long post #otp: i’m coming with you #fanfic writer asks

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yourfriendlele · 3 years

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So... someone sent me this:

“I really hate ship wars involving a same sex ship vs a straight pairing because of the tendency for the claims of homophobia if you dont ship the same sex pairing or say there wasnt evidence ( the term shipping goggles exist because there are people who found evidence where there was none for their ship and this applies to same sex ships which are just ships in the end they can be badly written / forced just like straight pairing can be badly written and deserve criticism they deserve equal treatment if criticizing or hate on a het pairing is allowed and doesnt make you a bigot ( hating someone based on sexuality makes you a bigot regardless power is not required its only required in oppression) neither does doing it to same sex pairings it doesnt matter that there arent as many canon . like with blacksun do you know how many times someone claimed forced het I have seen like in v3″

First of all… are you the person who randomily accused me of “making a joke out of real homophobia and turning it into ship wars” and said that i somehow affirmed “gay ships are above criticism” under my comic? And tagged some friends so they could reblog all that bs? And then when i called you out, you deleted the reblog (tho it still exists, people rebloged it)? Is that you?

Second of all, okay…. who said I don’t criticise same sex ships the same way i criticise het ships? No seriously, where did you get that from? Did you just say that out of nowhere hoping people would buy it?

Third of all, ok some people told you bs is forced and…? Listen, i don’t think bs is the devil, it’s cute enough, not my thing, but yeah, i get why people ship it. I also think it’s not that good or the “meant to be/ correct ship” in coparisson to bb… bb has problems with pacing, and de dialogue is definetely not the best, but blacksun does have some moments that are in fact kinda forced, like treating sun following blake in v4 as something cute, when in reality thats creepy as fuck, even when the guy has good intentions. Does everybody need to pretend that was well written? I thought it was bad writing in twilight, and i thought it was bad writing in fifty shades of grey, so yeah, it’s just as bad in rwby dude, sorry. Again, not terrible and unforgivable and im not gonna pretend im better than everyone that like Blacksun bc of that, but yes, i’ll call it forced.

And listen, if you’re telling me Yang asking blake to dance is “shipping goggles” bc “clearly that wasn’t meant to be read as romantic” (even though, yeah, asking someone to dance with you can be considered a romantic gesture irl), but Sun stalking blake in v4 is “absolutely a romantic moment bc he’s a good guy” (which he is, i understand the writers didn’t mean to make him abusive, but still, following someone like that isn’t, and has never been, a romantic gesture), then yeah…. i’ll assume you’re homophobic. Can’t you see the obvious double standard???? Do you want me to pretend i don’t see it?

You don’t have to like the ship, i don’t particurlaly like bs, or arkos or rosegarden, but i see the moments that can be considered romantic. Bb has moments that can be considered romantic. You don’t have to like it to see it.

Also, the absolute bullshit arguments you anti bb guys come at me with makes it even harder to believe you have any decent intentions… ‘oh you watch a show just for lesbians???? sorry some of us care about actual writing!” Oh sorry, i didn’t know me watching the wilds bc of the wlw ship cancelled me reading 1984 bc it’s a literature classic. Lemme ask you something, does me wanting to watch the gucci movie bc i wanna see lady gaga in it also cancel me wanting to watching “us” bc i find Jorndan Peele a wonderful storyteller?

#bumbleby #honestly fuck off #how am i supposed to take you seriously?#submission

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whatstheproblembaby · 3 years

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AO3 Tag Meme

@klaineharmony tagged me like last week and I’m just now getting to this, oops. >.<

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

273, although I have collection of <1000 word stories that I originally posted individually on here and FFn, so technically I’ve written closer to 300 fics, probably?

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

497,239. Not half bad for a one-shotter!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

5, if we count my Newsies/Supergirl crossover for both fandoms. The others are Glee, Riverdale, and Call the Midwife. (God, that’s eclectic to list.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They’re all Klaine fics, to the surprise of absolutely no one:

1. But Now I See, my blind!Kurt/sighted!Blaine fic. (Tbh, I don’t love that I took this prompt and made the big moment in this one curing Kurt’s blindness, but I wasn’t aware of how ableist that trope is when I wrote it. I’m not going to delete it because that feels like sweeping it under the rug, but please know that I know better now.)

2. Unforgettable, a Cheerio!Kurt/nerd!Blaine AU based off this prompt: “You probably don’t remember but you saved me from some bullies once in middle school and god damn it every year you just get hotter"

3. Finally Found the Boy, a florist!Kurt/barista!Blaine AU in which I utilized every trope known to man: “#okay but combine all four: person a works at a coffeeshop #person b works at a flowershop #they start fake dating to cover for person a who's lied to their parents about meeting their soulmate #but then they do whatever thing reveals soulmates while fake dating and start REAL DATING #THE END”

4. Covert Cupid, aka your classic nerd!Kurt/jock!Blaine gift-giving AU. (You know, like Secret Santa, but for Valentine’s Day.)

5. Make A Move, a Cheerio!Blaine based off this anonymous prompt: “a klaine alternate meeting fic where one of them is working at a kissing booth and the other one keeps coming back with money and asking for kisses “for charity” and they basically end up making out in front of everybody bc the kisses are so great okay love u bye” (Yes, I DID use a One Direction lyric for the title; no, I am NOT sorry.)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Every time! At the very least, I drop a “thank you” and a heart, because I’m just that grateful that anyone has enjoyed my fic enough TO leave a comment. If there’s a more specific comment, I try to address it, too.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uh, probably none of them? Happily ever after or BUST, pals.

...

Okay, I literally looked through all of my fics and this drabble is the only thing that even REMOTELY ends angstily. Plenty of my work has some kind of drama in the middle, but I firmly don’t believe in tragic endings.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I’ve only done one proper crossover (e.g., featuring characters from both universes), but I’ve done plenty of AUs based on other pieces of IP! My one true crossover is Just Be Real (Is All I’m Askin’), which mixes Newsies and Supergirl with a dash of past lives/reincarnation. Listen, when you put Jeremy Jordan in two things I love, I’m gonna find a way to combine those things, friends.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I once got called out for using the term “maiden name” in a fic, but I’ve never truly been flamed or anything. Hope that stays true!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not often, and not outside of the Klaine fandom, at least as of right now. In those fics, I leaned a little more M than E in my ratings, and there were some D/s leanings, but that’s really based on how I saw that pairing. If I ever do smut for another fandom, I may totally mix up my kinks depending on how I see the couple/throuple/etc!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I had some stories posted to at least one of those random pirate sites back in the day? But I’ve never been deliberately plagiarized that I know of.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve definitely tried! Truffles and I worked on at least one co-authored fic once, but I don’t remember if we ever posted it.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m only supposed to have one???

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Like many Millennials, I’m sure, it was Harry Potter. If you go digging in MuggleNet FanFiction, you should be able to find my terrible acrostic poems from when I was 14.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oof, again with the favorites? I have a couple that I’m more proud of than others.

Of my Call the Midwife fics, I love What’s in a Name? the most, simply because I included so many characters and feel like I managed to capture all their unique voices/personalities. And I created a moment I want to see on the show!

For Newsies, my 9k beast We Just Might Win proved to me that I can write more than 2,000 words without having to base the story on another piece of IP, and I’ll always love it for that. (And for Jack, Davey, and Kath, of course!)

I’m proud of all my Klaine fics on some level, because they unlocked a creative output level in me that I genuinely will not ever be able to match again. I think a crowd favorite of mine was my Sound of Music AU, My Heart Will Be Blessed, but if I had to pick a personal fave? I’d have to go with Destiny. Caroline @thehouseofthebrave gave me this incredible prompt for it, and I just love how I filled it.

I think a lot of people have been tagged already, so anyone who wants to do this should tag me as their tagger, but I also want to see @knightsofthegaytable‘s answers!

#also if you have a favorite of mine i want to know what it is!!

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jui-imouto-chan · 3 years

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Part 9

Previous | Next

@multishipper-trash

I switched to calling him Shoyo since everyone except Kageyama calls him that but I’ll probably go back to Hinata in a different part (also bc Natsu is technically a Hinata so)

•

“A letter!!” Natsu announced from the door, her feet slapping against the wood of the stairs as she made her way to Shoyo’s room. “Nii-chan!!

“Coming!”

Natsu bounced on her heels impateintly, listening to the rustle of Shoyo’s sheets. Shoyo yelped and then began hissing something she couldn’t quite make out, and then after a few minutes of relative quiet, Tobio and Shoyo shouted at each other before Tobio stormed out, barging past her without patting her head like usual. Natsu wondered if he had a fever, since his face was the color of steamed crab.

Huh, so did Shoyo. Maybe they were both sick?

“Nii-chan.” She proffered the letter, shifting her weight.

Shoyo shook his head, his flush lightening enough that it only stained his cheeks. “Thanks, Natsu,” he said, smiling as he ruffled her hair. She grinned up at him and turned on her heel, padding over to the kitchen to rattle off what she learned in school the day prior to their mom.

The letter Shoyo held was from the “Kenma” that had made a contract with him the month before, with a simple wax seal of a cat with headphones on. The envelope was crisp and pristine, although the penmanship of the address lines was constantly fluctuating between beautiful and scribbly.

Shoyo glanced around, making sure Kageyama wasn’t nearby, then retreated into his bedroom, ignoring the tangle of sheets that had collapsed to the floor during the earlier...incident... and instead settling into his desk.

‘Hello, Shoyo.

There’s more funding in the envelope inside the one you pulled this out from. Have fun with it, I guess.

I was wondering if you want to meet up with me at some point. I’ll leave my contact stuff at the bottom of this letter... Leave the scary guy you who follows you around at home please. I don’t want to get murdered.

Anyway. We can discuss the details for the date meet and greet when we meet up over text, if you want to actually do that.

Kenma.

XXX-XXX-XXXX’

Shoyo found the wad of bills and decided that he’d make sure ‘Kenma’ would let him pay for food and stuff for when they met up, guilt gnawing at him for taking charity. It wasn’t like he wasn’t giving anything for it, but he didn’t actually feel any difference in his mana supply—not that he could even actually tell that there was mana in him. Maybe the contracts just weren’t taking as much as he thought they would be? —Like everyone taking five yen when he has a billion yen: pretty much negligible. (—Thank you Tsukishima for using that word. Hinata just hoped he wouldn’t use it to describe his test score increases relative to his grade again.)

Shoyo snagged his phone off the nightstand (pointedly ignoring Kageyama’s beside it), tossing himself onto his mattress and kicking his feet as he sent a greeting.

•

Kuroo had himself draped over Kenma’s bed, scrolling idly through messages Lev sent to their groupchat and rolling his eyes. He glanced over at the partial-blonde, who was so close to the TV, Kuroo wondered if he’d eventually pass through the screen and actually enter the game.

Beside his head, Kenma’s phone flashed and pinged, and he’d never seen Kenma move so fast. The game was paused and Kenma was lain beside Kuroo in an instant, his eyes flicking across the screen with overwhelming intensity.

“Did a preorder drop or something?”

Kenma completely ignored him. Kuroo tried to quell his urge to annoy his best friend with dramatics.

The shorter spent five minutes reading whatever message he had received, probably rereading it multiple times if Kuroo were to go off the fact that Kenma hadn’t scrolled.

Finally, after an agonizing period of tense silence, Kenma’s thumbs got to work, typing and retyping words. Kenma mouthed the sentences and scrunched his nose periodically, probably noticing syntax errors.

It was a little bizarre, since Kenma didn’t usually care about what he wrote or how he wrote it. Kuroo once had to read the words “skin $100 said no moth,” with his own eyes, and the message still sometimes haunts him. (Kenma meant to type, “My mother said no to buying the $100 skin,” but didn’t correct himself afterward.)

“Do I add a ‘please’ when saying where to meet me or is that desperate?”

“Do you actually want my opinion or are you talking to yourself?”

Kuroo sighed as Kenma continued his pondering, muttering about lines from a few otome games. Kuroo leaned over and scanned the message, as neither of them had ever been particular about privacy, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

“Hey,” Kenma snapped, falling out of his deliberations. He rolled over and away, which led to him slipping to the floor.

Kuroo burst into cackles, only catching his breath after Kenma tossed a remote at his head. “W... Who’s got ya all riled u-up?” he tried to inquire, panting.

“None of your business.”

“Is ‘Shoyo’ a special friend I should know about?” Kuroo waggled his eyes, dodging an amiibo that sailed through the air and left a noticeable dent in Kenma’s wall.

“N-No.”

It was quite clear that Kuroo did not believe him one bit, his Hyena-like laughter rippling through the air. “You’re lying—your ears are red! Your blushing so hard!”

“Shut up!” Kenma hid under the covers at the foot of the bed, trying to look back at his phone. Kuroo, deciding that he was fine with dying there, poked at Kenma’s head, seeking amusement from teasing the half-blonde.

“Huh?” Kenma was stock-still, not even moving when Kuroo prodded at him. “Kenma, you okay? Are you dead?” The blankets were raised, Kuroo peering upside-down at his friend.

Dead seemed like an understatement—after all, at least then you would see the life draining out of the body. No, Kenma appeared as though his soul was sucked out with a vacuum and his body sat empty while his spirit struggled against the vacuum bag.

Kuroo snatched Kenma’s phone out of his hands, his friend not twitching or reacting at all. The only indication that Kenma was still existent was the slow paling of his skin.

“What’s got you so.... Oh. Well... Yep, that’ll do it.”

The last line of his message, which he probably was intending to delete—or at least rewrite—simply read, ‘I look forward to our date.’

•

“He won’t think that you wanted it to be a date if I come,” Kuroo explained as he shoved Kenma toward the cafe, still quite sympathetic of his poor friend’s pain. Kenma had his hood pulled up and kinda seemed tempted to drift into traffic, so Kuroo just kept a better hold of his shoulders as he drove him forward.

“Maybe he’ll take pity on me and stab me with a teaspoon.”

“Maybe you’ll be less morbid, how about that?”

“We both know that’s very unlikely.” Kenma managed to open the door before Kuroo flattened him against it.

“True,” he sighed. “So, you see him?”

Kenma glanced around, fingertips rubbing against his nails within his pockets as he sought out Shoyo.

After a moment of peering around, he spotted sunrise eyes and a mane of flame, as well as the scent of full, unfettered magic wafting through the air.

“There,” Kenma breathed as Kuroo straightened, eyes fixating on the summoner. Kuroo whistled to himself.

“I’m counting myself lucky that you’re not territorial.”

Kenma squinted at his best friend, though he let his withering glare fall exasperatedly. “I’m getting there.”

Kuroo’s smile grew with mischief. “Too late.” His tongue slipped across his upper lip.

Across the cafe, Shoyo shivered, glancing around and catching their predatory gazes. Unlike prey, his eyes didn’t waver, and their excitement only grew.

•••

••Part 9 of (?)••

This got a little longer than usual—I got carried away bc I love writing disaster Kenma 😂 and also Natsu is super adorable so I’m including her more 💖💖

•• Send Asks for more! Feel free to ask about characters and send Headcanons! Or if u wanna just talk Haikyuu/ships, I’m good with that too! :) and for other parts, search the “summoner au” tag on my blog and you’ll find em!••

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#kenma/hinata #kenhina #kozume kenma #haikyuu!#haikyu #hq #hinata shoyo/everyone #hinata harem #hinaharem #kagehina #kageyama tobio #kuroo tetsuroo #kuro tetsuro #kuroohina #kurohina

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pandemique · 3 years

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Hi hello I just wanna say I love your art, it’s really cute aaaa

I’ve been really wanting to try to doodle dnf because I care them so much and they make me so so happy but my brain rot is not strong enough and I’m nervous to post it if I do so basically do you have any advice for just doing it anyway? I don’t know if making a whole new blog is something I want to/should do

Also I wanna join the loving Demi anon gang so I’ll try to send more asks when I stop being Shy(TM)

-🍎🦜

nonnie thank u thats so sweet of u :’> i appreciate it a lot :’> yknow, u sent this when i was actually in massive doubt abt my art and my... personality?!? HAHA so yeah i definitely been there sis and i’m still there sometimes

firstly, this is actually a more common occurrence than people think! i’ve told this story a few times now to artists who felt exactly the same: when i first posted, i deleted my doodles within a minute (LOL) and it was actually sky georgeliker who reached out asking if he could reblog !! (sorry i dont shut up abt this sky HAHAHA u meant a lot to me even unknowingly <3) i think from that moment, i thought, if just one other person enjoyed what i post, i want to!! there’s literally no harm if no one does anyway bc this is a brainrot blog not a portfolio LMAO. and i am so so glad i did because i then definitely met more than one person lol i even met u ;)) people are so so kind here, and it really changed my perception on both my own art and art as a whole

nonnie i’ve never seen your art but i know for sure i would love to see it, and everyone would too :) there’s no such thing as bad art, and even then sharing will help u improve so much faster!! u can talk to me any time about it too, we’ll learn to improve and be kinder to our art together :>

@ making a new blog: i heard it’s more strategic that way! but only if u want to !! for me personally i separate my dnf blog and my mcyt & general blogs just bc i just like being organized, and bc for dnf in particular, i know a fair amount of people are uncomfy seeing the ship so i try my damnedest not to let non-dnfers find this blog lol. but u really don’t have to do this :o just think about what personally makes u happiest!

anyway here are the more practical tips below the cut ‼️ (finally BAHAHA sorry non)

u can take smaller steps and send art to friends first or to discord servers :> (404cord vouch if u wanna find the most supportive mf’s in the planet)

or u can send me ;D

recognize when u start thinking the bad thoughts! point it out and say “i’m thinking bad thoughts, i have to stop. why should i make myself feel bad? why should i think at all?? this is a brainrot blog??” (is this good advice i am questioning myself shgswjsh this is what i do lmaooo)

point out the things u LIKE from ur art, even really little things. pretend it’s a friend’s work, u’ll be surprised how much kinder u are to others’ creations! if u enjoy parts of it, someone else would enjoy it too and more

don’t be discouraged if u don’t get a lot of recognition or notes immediately, most of that is irrelevant to how actually good ur art is. a LOT of my fave artists have like <200 notes every post (and thats a lot!! its just that i wanna give 10000 lol). it doesn’t mean that the people who DO see it don’t love it

tbh i avoid looking at numbers at all like the plague bc it gives unnecessary pressure !! i have no idea how many followers i have lol (but i do check the tags bc (1) ppl r so supportive i wanna cry and (2) ppl r v thoughtful and sometimes gives interesting input to ur art :> but if it pressures u then u should avoid this too imo)

talk to other artists!! :>

DISCLAIMER, it’s completely okay to take ur time!! there’s no real need to post at all if ur uncomfy. that said, last tip off the top of my head is to consider just slamming that post button, it’s free and u can always delete or edit LMAOO enjoy doodling and blogging!!

#i almost feel kinda guilty answering this bc i feel unqualified since im still like that but ig then i could give more realistic advice :’)#i can yap away on this blog and irl but i am so terrified of like going out of tumblr and even talking on discord and stuff IDEK WHY #we’ll get through this together for sure #thanku for asking <3 #art advice #love u 🍎🦜 anon #im in 🍎🦜 nonnie loving gang ;)#unimportant but i find u saying ur brainrot isnt strong enough SO FUNNY HAHAHA truly my superpower: Chad Brainrot #yes brainrot def helps but i do actively block out all doubts and just go like ‘but....dnf 🥺’

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theweepingmonk · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @rhyslahey ty bestie <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

97!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

451, 571

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 14 I'm not listing all that agshshs

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Catching Up, Little Talks , Mistletoe Menace, Struck By Cupid's Arrow and Ghost of Mine

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Probably what became of us bc one them is murdered and the other kills themselves but ties them together so they can walk around as zombies together

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Catching Up ig most of my fics have happy endings

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written? No

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, despite me knowing I hate the process I pop one out every now and then and never look at it again

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, unless I forget bc my dumbass marked it as read intending to reply and then I like, remembered I had to take the trash out or I get called to do something while I was trying to think or I just can't think of anything to say

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah, I was intentionally writing their fave character to be kinda shitty bc the whole point of the fic was he changed, he matured and now he was gonna fall in love and continue to change even more but someone got really mad agshsh I ended up deleting the fic bc i just lost interest in it tbh

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I know someone wanted to, but I wasn't sure if I wanted that and then I forgot and never responded and it feels too awkward to say anything now ahshs

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'm open to it tho

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Phutian 💞💞

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Perihelion, Little Talks, An Unconventional Family

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Editing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot, maybe developing the characters naturally in the story? Too much humor. Writing angst.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It's fine if you leave translations somewhere or at least leave enough context so ppl can figure it out themselves

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto (NaruHina miss me with that Naruto/S*suke bs 🙄🙄 ) Fruits Basket (I'll never escape kyo/tohru I was crying over the newest adaptation earlier this year) anyways that was like middle school/high school agshsh

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

idk idk my top three without a definitive 1 are Little Talks, Catching Up and Rhythm of Love

I tag no one bc all my writer friends besides rhys have disappeared into the wind but feel free to tag me if you want to do this!

#tag games

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atlaese · 3 years

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✨AO3 Tag Game✨

tagged by: @pastafossa! I- what!! when i saw this notif i think my heart stopped. like. i did not realize you knew i existed i am such a big fan of your work!! i read the whole of TRT in like... a week when i should have been studying (i am hardcore fangirling rn!!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? right now i have 9 works on there! i only made an account last month and decided to publish some of my beloved fics on there too!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 35.777 sksks, it's not much but it's something! i'm still working on a few things (bucky stuff and matt stuff) so we might see an increase soon!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? okay so i'll do the ao3 version, but like on tumblr there's a different top 5?? so interesting!! these are all bucky fics, except for the last one - thats a spencer reid fic!

loving dawn as certainty of sunrise

kill with kindness

wasteland, baby!

black holes

liability

more under the cut bc i don't wanna clog the dash

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? yes!!! omg i love responding to comments! i honestly don't get many, but the ones i do get warm my heart so much!! its just so nice to see someone who read your stuff give a short comment why they liked it and idk its so nice to hear and everyone who has ever commented has my heart!!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i think homesick at space camp? that is just angst from beginning to end lmao! but i wrote a fluffy part two to it, so i don't know if it counts, but yeah, that one!

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

ooh, i actually haven't and i haven't even thought about that! maybe one day, but i feel like my writing skills aren't good enough yet to write more than one complex character in a fic with like... a good plot lmao.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not yet! my stuff also isn't good enough to receive hate so thats like a plus too lmao we love the duality

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i tried to write smut once. it was a part two to the pool tables have turned. i had horny thots that night. i published it. then i went to bed. i woke up 8 hours later and it had decent exposure? i reread it. i cringed. and then i deleted it. yes, that was the saga of me writing smut, deleting it and thinking i should never do it again, haha! so atm i don't write explicit smut, but i do like some allusions to it, hehe.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

maybe in my wattpad days? also yes, i recently came across a site that all of the published wattpad stories copied onto it, my old stories to (from like 2014!!) so yes, my unfinished, downright horrible 5sos fics are also on that site :)

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes, i think in my wattpad days! i honestly cannot remember what it was about or what happened, but i did! recently i haven't! i might be open to it though!

12. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

me x fictional character because i am lonely lmao. no um. super niche but there was this book series called the chemical garden and i liked the main characters relationship with gabriel. i think it was rhine x gabriel. yeah, i liked those two together! i like most canon ships ngl so this one was the first that came to mind.

13. What are your thoughts about writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

depends on the execution honestly! i like little words here and there, sometimes a full sentence if i can deduce whatever is said through context, but when there's full on another language with translations at the end of a fic, i'm less inclined to read it! (most of the time i can understand what is said though! bless me and my obsession with languages!)

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

okay. this is hard. i am a little embarassed. so i wrote for 1D first BUT i was never a fan? i was a little capitalist back in my wattpad days and i saw those stories got way more likes and reads than original work? so i was like, lemme use these men to my advantage. i also was too lazy to make a complex character of my own. so yes, 1D, then 5SOS.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

hmmm, difficult! black holes is one i adore, just because i put so much of myself in it. but then i also love my short matt fics, and i also really like this one from fatws... so i think those! they're also so different so egjzrgr

no pressure tags💞: @therootsinmydreamlands @belowva @imaginearyparties

#tag game !#bestie when i tell you i screamed #this actually kinda made my day???#our lord and saviour pasta from the matt murdock church tagged lil old me????#i freaked!!

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pomegranates-and-blood · 3 years

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Κατακηλέω (νοσταλγία deleted scene)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Κατακηλέω: to charm, cast a spell over (Ancient Greek)

Pairing: Ivar/Reader, Narses/Reader but you know how that is

Summary: This is a deleted scene that happens between chapter 16 and 17, it centers mainly around Narses.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: The usual, plus a graphic depiction of burning alive (or my best attempt at writing it anyways)

A/N: Yeah idk what to say here lol, I put this together mainly bc @xbellaxcarolinax made a point of there being little Narses on the story, and bc she was interested in a chapter more centered around him. I write a lot of rambles that I don’t post cause I don’t think people wanna read ‘em, but here it is one of em, in deleted-scene form lol. Hope you like it, and thank you! <3

Also yes I have Michiel Huisman as Daario in my head as a faceclaim for Narses, idk what to tell ya, I suck at describing characters so of course you had no way of knowing that, and I’m sorry.

Taglist: (I’m sorry if you don’t wanna be tagged in these kind of chapters btw, just lemme know and I’ll keep you on the main story ones only, or just the main story and Ivar PoV ones, whatever works for you) @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax @pieces-by-me @angelofthorr @samsationalwilson

“It scares you, doesn’t it?” Freydis starts suddenly one night, and you lift your eyes to her but don’t say anything. So, she continues, “The reminder of what you could do.”

“If you mean-…”

“You know what I mean. You could lie, and I keep wondering why you don’t.”

“Lying is what you would do, is it not?” You snap, head tilted to the side.

The blonde’s smile turns smug, as if she just made you give away a card. Instead of saying anything regarding that, she shrugs,

“You have traveled a lot, lived a lot,” She states, moving carefully and taking a seat next to you, seemingly choosing to ignore your eyes following her. “Will you tell me you are unaware of what men are able and willing to do for a woman’s love?

She stops whatever it is she was going to say next when an elderly woman enters the apothecary, her blue eyes following the woman’s moves. You are reminded of that night when she shared her thoughts by a window and was interrupted -eyes and ears follow the witch-, and realize why she holds her tongue.

Instead of waiting for the other woman to leave, she stands up and asks you to follow with but a gesture of her head.

Certain steps take you both to the same elevated patch of cold and foreign grass that saw you lay on your knees and pray to whatever Gods heard you to give you an answer.

And so, Freydis continues on,

“Look at all Ivar did to get you to be at his side. Imagine what he would do with the promise you could love him,” Manic blue eyes meet yours as Freydis stops you with a hand on your arm. You pointedly look down at it and back up at her face, feeling a tightness in your chest, dread mixed with disdain. “Imagine what he would do if you pretended to love him and threatened to take it away.”

There’s only one answer you can give her.

“Get your hand off me.”

If you were your mother, you’d have a sword in your hands and a snarl on your lips. But you never wanted to fight like a man, and so you only let the cold of this land seep into your voice and harden your expression, your voice.

She remains frozen for a few moments too long, and you once again pointedly look at her hand and back into her eyes.

“I don’t like repeating myself,” You state, and only then does she comply, her eyes searching yours. You return your arm to be comfortable covered by the warm cloak, and turn to keep walking. “I do not want to hear another word of this, you hear me? Not another damned word.”

“Does that mean you’ve given up? You’ll let him keep you here?”

“I said not another word.”

Freydis swallows whatever her words are to be next, and nods her head, accepting your order as if she thinks you gave her a choice.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Freydis speaks again.

“You choose to protect him now, is that it?”

Her dainty and delicate voice loses none of the edge and the certainty, even as her eyes betray something more human.

“You are a smart woman,” You concede instead of answering her questions, and tilt your head to the side, “But a smarter one would know when to hold her tongue.”

“You don’t hold yours.”

“I never claimed to be smart,” You reply easily, before bowing your head in goodbye. “Goodnight, Freydis.”

She knows it is a dismissal, and a rude one at that, but she only returns the gesture. You could swear a strange sort of pride shines in the girl’s dark blue eyes as she takes her leave.

____

And now you sit alone overlooking that same cliff and you cannot get her words out of your head. You wish you could hate her, berate her for her games and call her names, say she is nothing but a liar, a whore.

But it is not so simple, is it? You seduced a man into giving you his army, did it so well Freydis trusted you to seek Freyja’s favor and do the same with the King, knew you had what it took with only but a look at you.

You promised your love to Narses only for the faint possibility that he could drive the Byzantine Christians off your lands, that he could bend his army and his strength to your will and give you the kingdom you deserved.

And you did to Narses everything that Freydis would have done to Ivar. You kissed, lied, and promised yourself; for the sake of a game.

Because when all you are told you can be is a warm pair of legs to wrap around a man, a pretty little jewel for him to keep and parade around, a quiet and beautiful maiden to stand beneath who the Gods deem you belong to; you learn to play games, all women do.

You wrap your legs tight enough he begs for mercy trying to escape your spell, you show them how even jewels draw blood if squeezed too tight in a fool’s hand, you let beauty carry you near him and your voice be a whisper as it reaches his ear. You play games.

But, as you sit on the cold grass overlooking Kattegat’s horizon, the sea and the sky meeting far away and reminding you strikingly of dusks and dawns spent on that temple overlooking the ocean and awaiting for those ships; you think about how no women speak of what happens when the game ends.

Because it always ends. It is a world of change, after all, a world of wheels turning and of days and nights and of seasons unending. It goes on and on, and the world changes, the games end.

Maybe you don’t hear women speak of what happens when it ends because few survive it. Those that do, maybe, just like you, refuse to speak of it, refuse to give voice to the pain and the shame that comes after playing with a heart not your own.

Refuse to admit the regret.

“You’ll do it?” He asks, eyes shining, “You’ll be my wife?”

“I would love to marry you,” You lie, you lie, you lie; and it burns your heart, “But I don’t want to bring our children into a world that will push them into the dirt for the Gods they follow, Narses.”

And just like that, promises, vows, oaths, fall from his perfect lips like he cannot help it. And you believe him, because if you hold your breath and dive past the smoke into the memories of your past, you can recognize that the way Narses looks at you now is the same way your father used to look at your mother.

You remember Sieghild’s teachings about Freyja, about her ways of persuasion and seduction, and wonder if, even if you are foreign to her, the Goddess looks over you. You wonder if she would smile or frown at your games.

You fall down on the grass, keeping your hold on Narses’ hands to tug him down with you. Narses falls with a laugh, legs and arms holding him up above you, dark green eyes shining as they look down upon yours.

It is remarkably easy, to surrender to his kiss. You close your eyes, letting your fingers go up into his hair, and allowing your lips and tongue to dance with his.

When his impatient lips move down to your jaw, your neck; you let him, craning your head back so he can have more access to your skin. If you clear your mind, you can almost feel nothing but pleasure.

When you tug particularly hard on his hair as Narses bites at your collarbone, you feel a breathed laugh leave his nose.

Lifting himself up in strong arms on each side of your head, Narses looks down upon you. His words should not hurt like they do by now, as you are so familiar with them you know what they will be before he even opens his mouth.

He steals another quick kiss, and whispers, “I love you.”

As a lover, as his future wife.

You smile through the pain, and answer, “I love you.”

As a friend, as the protector of your people.

As an instrument of war.

You are reminded of the safety of Narses’ embrace, however suffocating; and you can almost taste your name on his lips, bloodied as they were the last time you saw him alive.

“You are in the Elysian Fields, I know,” You start telling the wind, hoping it can carry your words to him, “Or maybe these Varangians’ Gods are fighting with ours to take you with them to Valhalla. Either way, I hope you can hear my voice one last time, my friend.”

You laugh brokenly to yourself, lowering your gaze to the grass under your body, caressing the dark tresses of nature.

“I know I don’t make much sense, I-I never did to you. Ramblings about Fate and empires fallen and tales of Gods and heroes; things that you had no interest in hearing. And yet you still looked upon me like something…something out of a dream, Narses,” You tell him, pain clawing at your heart, reopening wounds you thought you closed long ago. You smile sadly still, and reminisce, “You used to tell me I was your dream, and…I wish I could tell you that you were mine, I truly do. But I can’t.”

And regret fills you, the useless and heartbreaking gift of hindsight showing you that the path you took led only to pain and war. Narses was sent by your choices, by your games, by your mistakes, to die; and you…you were sent here. To what?

You dare think not even the Gods have an answer to your present, or future. But you do have answers to your past, and if someone deserves to hear them, it is Narses, wherever he may be.

“Returning to Eleusis choked me with the smoke of all the fires lit before I left and during my time away. I…blinded myself with ambition and I thought the only way I could fight was through you,” You explain, honestly, brokenly, the only way you know how to, “I knew that if I had the heart of Thebes’ Strategus, I could get what I wanted. I just had to have enough guile, enough lies, enough poison; to trick you into giving me your heart.

You offer the wind a hollow chuckle, bitter and angry and oh so filled with regret you can feel your heart poisoned with it.

“And I did exactly that. Maybe Aphrodite and Peitho blessed my lies, maybe Sieghild was right and Freyja watched over me,” You look over Kattegat’s horizon, facing the truths of your past when you don’t know what you want out of your future, “Either way, I used you, I hated myself but I still did it and…I got what I wanted.

As the agony of the flames crawls over your legs, scorching your skin with the inferno, blinding your eyes with the smoke, flogging your throat with your screams; you turn your gaze to the sky, blackened and barren as it is, and plead the Gods you have fought and bled for to grant you a moment of mercy, a painless death.

And flesh being charred smells awful, making your poisoned lungs heave for unattainable retrieve. You hold a moment of clarity in your mind to beg for Sieghild’s forgiveness, that you left her in this world alone after she sacrificed so much for you. You hope her Gods let you visit her in Folkvangr.

With one last ragged and angry scream, you let your strength leave you, your agony leave you, your regrets leave you.

When you awaken you find yourself in too much pain to accept this is the Underworld. Before you open your eyes, a moment of panic and dread fills your heart at the thought that the Christians left you alive to torture you, but you hear familiar voices, smell familiar fragrances.

Sieghild’s hand over your forehead, gentle and loving in ways she rarely is, makes a small smile tug at your dried and bleeding lips.

“I know you are awake, open your eyes,” She chastises, gruff even when relief clogs her voice. You do, and her smiling inked face settles your quickly beating heart, makes you forget the pain for a moment. “I love you, you stubborn child.”

You allow yourself a smile, closing your eyes again and focusing on breathing for a few moments, before whispering, “I love you too, minn móðir.”

The shieldmaiden chuckles brokenly, pressing rough lips on the crown of your head. After a few moments of silence, she sighs.

“By the way, you mad woman, you did it.”

“Did what?” You ask raggedly, wincing as you lift your head to accept the cup of water she offers.

“Listen, little one,” She instructs, and when you do, you hear the rustling of armor plates, the heavy steps of soldiers outside your door. The Viking woman shakes her head in almost disbelief, “The Strategos, that boy, he saved you from the flames.”

“Narses?”

“His soldiers came with us, we have nearly a thousand men here.”

“I did so many things wrong, Narses. I lied and manipulated and pretended, and maybe because the Gods are cruel, or maybe because reaping what you sow is an empty promise; I succeeded, and I got what I wanted. I knew I wouldn’t win, not against the Empire, not against the Christians, but…I wanted them to remember me, to remember our names and our Gods and our ways. To remember we don’t die silently.

And even if it hurts, you admit to yourself that you would do it again. You wish you could have loved Narses the way he deserved, you wish you could have been honest, you wish you could have found other ways to fight for your kingdom; but…you understand why you did it, and feeble and useless as it is, you want to forgive yourself for it.

Where there is war there can never be love, right? And you wanted war, you will not lie to yourself and say you truly wanted peace all along.

No, you wanted to see those Christians that came to take your home bleed at your feet, you wanted Attica to be free again, and Laconia, and Macedonia, and Arcadia, and many others. And you would wage war for your freedom for a thousand years if needed.

You would promise Narses your hand again if it came to it. You know you would, because the person you were when Attica was yours…she would have done that and much more for a chance at freedom. Now, you know better. Now, you let yourself be softer. Now, the world is a lot bigger than it seemed back then.

Now, things are different. Maybe you are, maybe the world is, maybe your heart is. Maybe Ivar is.

You smile at the barren horizon that doesn’t seem so foreign and intimidating now, and whisper, “I could do it now, I know. I would end up dead when he knew the truth, that’s for certain, but the victory would be mine, our people’s, by the time Ivar could catch up with my lies. I could, Narses.

“We need Stithulf’s support. We will ally with him, and even if you scream and fight it is what will happen.”

But you are shaking your head before he even finishes speaking.

“As Anassa of Attica I ca-…”

“As the commander of your forces, as the man you’ll marry, I’m telling y-…”

The hostility, the command, in his tone startle you to attention, and you narrow your eyes as you step closer. You don’t reach his shoulder, but the years have taught you there’s few things a man fears more than a woman that refuses to fight like a man but still fights.

“If you try using that to silence me, I fear you will not live long as my husband.” The threat drips from your lips like wine, but Narses doesn’t cave for once, and he drags a hand over his face.

“You always fight me, why do you…why can’t you be…?” His words die in a sigh, and you lift your eyebrows.

“Why can’t I be someone I’m not? Would you love me if I were anything other than me?”

“Sometimes, I wish you were,” He sentences, a hand over his eyes as he grunts out the words. Your heart drops, and so does your guard. He sighs again, and a hand reaches up and cups your cheek, unaware your whole body tightens to a coil the moment he touches you. “Sometimes, I fool myself into thinking I still see the woman you once were in you. The woman that wanted a life surrounded by Eleusis’ warmth, the woman that cared not for war, for vengeance.”

You grit your teeth, and step back, closing your eyes tightly as you croak,

“That woman was never all I was. I wanted Eleusis, I still do, but that doesn’t mean I never wanted revenge, Narses. Those Christia-…”

When you feel he finally drops his hand from your cheek, you open your eyes and watch his hand clench into a fist.

“Why do I have to love a woman like you?” He hisses, turning his back to you and slamming both hands on the weak table in front of him. “I’ve asked the Gods why, you know. Why I have to love a woman arrogant and ambitious and…Hera help me, a woman that is not mine. Never was, never will be.”

“I-…What are you saying?”

“Do you think I’m enough of a fool to think I can make you my wife? If the Fates don’t stop me you will,” A humorless chuckle leaves his lips, “Lord Hades might split open the earth and drag you to the Underworld before I get to call you my wife.”

“Don’t say those things.”

“It is true! I was not Fated to have you, even if the Gods know I was Fated to love you,” He shakes his head, teeth gritted and eyes failing to meet yours, “We both know what made you say yes to me, and it is what is keeping you from saying yes to Stithulf. It was never love.”

Shame chokes you, keeps the next words form leaving your lips. Your lips tremble and your eyes cloud with tears as you look at his tense back, nothing but regrets shining in your eyes.

“Are you-…will you l-leave?”

Will you leave me? Is the question you dare not ask, because you do not have the right to believe he should want to stay at your side, not after everything.

You still don’t want him to leave you alone here.

But the Thebesian takes a deep breath, straightening his back again and turning to you. The same anguished softness you saw so many times in his eyes still shines in them now, and he shakes his head.

His voice when he replies feels like warmth, like safety and nostalgia,

“I will always be at your side. Until Hades summons you home, I’ll be at your side.”

You look into his warm eyes, and with shame still burning your chest, you ask,

“Why? The Gods know I do not deserve it. Why do you stay?”

The answer leaves his lips with the same certainty it always did, with the same hope and the same truth,

“I love you.”

You like to believe you would have loved Narses, you like to believe you would have been content remaining as Eleusis’ Priestess. You like to believe you could have birthed him children for you to teach the way of the Gods and he to give the fame of his family.

Problem is, you fear now, with the taste of this strange freedom still fresh and sweet on your tongue, you don’t think you could have ever lived with the binds of what Narses wanted to make out of you. A priestess, whose ambition is forgotten when he wills it so; a woman, whose eyes will need to lower from his; a wife, to be quietened when he speaks.

And you don’t want that, to be what Narses wanted you to, what Galla wanted you to, what Freydis wants you to, what Ivar wants you to. You want to be you, and you want to fight, and be compassionate and revengeful, and be soft and relentless, without needing to choose one or the other.

You want nights of stupid arguments and infuriating talks, you realize around a broken chuckle, you want foreign languages and even more foreign customs, you want…you want Ivar. In all his vitriol, in all his bloodthirst, in all his awkward gentleness and in all his armored heart, you want him.

Tears of regret and the path not taken fill your eyes, and you find yourself sobbing out a small laugh, “But the person that lied and tricked you, that could do the same to Ivar…she died amongst the flames, left me in her place, I think.

The Priestess is dead.

Taking the small knife Ivar gifted you what seems like a lifetime ago, you hold a lock of your hair in front of you, and cut off the wind-blown and tangled strands, holding a short tress in your hand that weights like a decade of apologies and promises made.

“I’m sorry. For everything I did and everything I didn’t do,” You promise him, closing your eyes and almost seeing his smiling face before you, his eyes shining and his sun-kissed skin weathered around a smile. “In another life, I may have loved you like you deserved.”

You open your palm, and let the strands of grief be carried off by Kattegat’s winds way across the sea.

And in another world, on another land, a dead man takes a breath.

____

So, hope you liked it, hope that last sentence got you wonderin’, and hope you have a nice day/night!

Thank you so much for reading, see you Tuesday with the scheduled update: chapter 18 :)

#ivar the boneless x reader #does this count tho #i guess so #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #νοσταλγία masterlist

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one-leaf-grimoire · 3 years

Text

Welcome!

Hello! My name is Beth, and this is my interest blog for Black Clover. I’m predominantly a writing blog, although I am mainly working on fics and art right now! Please check out my blog’s about me to see if requests are open. Also, please read all the rules and guidelines below! My inbox is ALWAYS open for chatting and ideas so feel free to hit me up whenever you want!

Commissions Open!

Headcanon rules

Writing Masterlist

NUMBER ONE BLOG RULE:

If you are under 18, block the tag “spicy.” If I find any minors interacting with my not s/f/w content, I will ban you.

More rules below.

REQUEST RULES

1. Once again, BLOCK #SPICY if you are under 18.

2. I will write headcannons and short drabbles upon request

3. I will write both sfw and not sfw requests

4. I will NOT write anything that makes ME personally uncomfortable

5. I am very busy irl, so please be patient!!!

6. I will delete any request sent in while requests are stated to be closed.

7. I will write for any BC character! ANY. Although, don’t expect serious answers for uh Gueldre or Augustus lol

8. My favorite characters to write for are Julius, Yami, and William.

9. I read the manga so all characters are fair game!

10. I will NOT write not sfw content for characters under 18

11. I will NOT write ships between minors and adults, even if the minor is 17 (that’s not “old enough” you freak)

12. Feel free to be creative with your requests and be specific! It really helps me get inspired <3

Who am I?

20 years old

Female (she/her)

Bisexual (not single though, sorry to my simps :/ )

Mainly interested in the anime/manga Black Clover, but I’ve also seen plenty of others!

My top anime: Black Clover, JJBA, HxH, JJK, Dorohedoro

What do I do?

I write head-cannons, oneshots, and fics for Black Clover! Requests are open periodically, but I’m trying to do more “Event style” writing with concrete themes.

I’m working on two big fics right now, “Illusion” and “Triad.”

My Magnum Opus is “Dyad”, a 100 chapter Julius x reader fic. Read it, it will change your life. It’s in my masterlist!

I’ve also made a goal to practice my art skills so I’ll be posting a lot of that here, probably a lot of my OC oops.

I also dabble in manga coloring uwu

Other info

I tag everything pretty thoroughly, but if there’s something specific you want to be tagged, lmk privately and I will add it to my list of things to tag (these can be triggers, ships, or just anything that makes you uncomfy)!

Also, if I EVER post something that comes from a problematic source, or if you think I am doing something problematic, please shoot me a DM! I want my blog to be a safe place, but even I am not immune to being a dumb bitch.

Anyway, here is my current taglist, feel free to block any of em lol:

General

#spicy- Not SFW content, please block if you are under 18

#hc - headcannons

#(character) x reader, #(character) x (character)- tagging the relationships of my works

#black clover, #hxh, #jjba- general anime tags

#bc oc- anything to do with ocs, mine or others

#oc: lisa- my OC Lisa!

#julisa- my indulgent Lisa x Julius ship

#fic, #dyad, #triad, #illusion- anything to do with my longer fics!

#my art- my art lol

Content Warnings

#cw assault - anything mentioning sexual assault (I will never depict it or show anything depicting it)

#cw pedophilia- anything mentioning pedophilia (I don’t write that shit but I call people out sometimes lol)

#cw blood

(feel free to message me and I will add more. Also, some posts aren’t properly tagged yet so lmk where they are if you find them)

#intro post #black clover #writing

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cescalr · 3 years

Note

9 and 23 for the ask game please 😊

9: Are there any fics you'd love to see but don't want to write yourself? What are they?

Ooh, um... I'm not sure! Something substantial for Cursed 2005, maybe, like a crossover with buffy or teen wolf or something, with jimbo as the pairing from cursed and idk just something interesting (please no b*angel or st*rek or st*dia), or a time travel fic for Supernatural that involves Dean as the POV but absolutely zero, nada, nothing of (even hints) De*tiel or winc*st, that's 100% a fix-it fic (bc my mans deserved a lot better than that ending smh. And so did Jo, and Anna, and Lisa and Ben and Charlie and Benny and- ).

23: What's one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

Hmm... Just go for it? Like, write whatever comes to mind and post it. And keep doing that. Over and over again, because it's all the same thing - practise. If you can't think of an idea, there's no reason not to go trawling for prompts. I've got this list of 200 prompts, can't remember where I found it, but it's really useful if I'm stuck. But yeah. Find some time, any amount of time, whether its 5 minutes or five hours, and write what you can, as much as you can, whether it's ten words or 10,000, or more or less, it doesn't matter. Just get words on screen (or on paper, if you prefer.) And then... post it. If the main issue is getting the courage to post it, don't read back over it. That's when the nervousness rears it's ugly head. Just post it. Straight up. Type right into the Ao3 doc and hit post if you have to, just... find a way to minimise the amount of time you give yourself to get all worked up about whether it's 'good enough' or not. It won't be perfect the first time you write something - nothing ever is. Everything requires practise. And each time you post something, you get better at it. It gets easier. If proofreading is the bane of your existence, just post it and come back later to fix any issues. If titling it is a problem pick a random word or a song lyric or hell, a sentence from the fic, anything at all. 'Working Title | Stiles POV All Human AU Stira Fic', even. Just. Anything. You can always change it later. Summaries an issue? Grab the first paragraph. Grab the first sentence. Put 'Stiles POV all human au, stira focus.' as the summary. Who cares? You. Can. Always. Change. It. Later.

That's the great thing about fic. Changing everything later is possible. Nothing here is permanent. If you aren't happy with something, that doesn't matter. So long as it's out there, you can get feedback (because often, we don't know why we aren't happy with something - outside help is always invaluable). Being scared of criticism is half the problem, for a lot of people... but - not to sugar coat - it's necessary. And, just to note, in my 10 years of fanfic writing, I have never, ever, gotten a single malicious comment. Not. Once. It's much rarer than people think it is. And even if you do, you can always delete it. Put comments on moderation, turn them off, if it's the main issue. Gather your confidence at your own pace - but don't forget feedback is necessary for improvement. Eventually you will need to accept it's going to happen - it's not an attack on you. It's an attempt at help. We're taught in school to consume media critically, and those who internalise that will comment constructively. English class can leave an impression - the worst thing is to take any of it personally. Having a negative mindset (they hate it) versus a positive mindset (they want me to improve at this thing I enjoy doing, they're trying to help, they're being supportive) can make all the difference.

Eventually, you'll need to turn those comments back on. But you don't need to take anyone's shit, hence why moderation is a thing. There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate - but it's rare you'll get the latter. Tone is hard to convey in text form; benefit of the doubt is the best way forward.

Make sure you've got friends/mutuals you can ramble with about your fics. it's genuinely the most helpful thing. Give them snippets, do the whole cheerleader routine for each other. It's great. Brainstorm with each other. Not necessarily doing collaborative fic (though you might find that's what works best for you!) but just, geeking out with each other. It makes a huge boost for your ego, and that's useful for your confidence when it comes to posting things. But also, if you trust them, it makes taking their advice easier.

Sometimes, it might feel like two steps forward and one step back. That's great! It's still a step forward. Go at your own pace. The worst thing you can do is rush yourself and burn out. If it takes you a year to update, it takes you a year. I assure you, the readers will still be there, and they'll be happy to see the update. Nobody's going to hate you for taking your time. Prioritise your health. I promise it makes your work better if you're in a good place, and you don't have too much on your plate.

Though, having said that, if you find you work best with about twenty wips all at once updated every week, then go for it! Like I said; your own pace. If a schedule helps you, have one. If it doesn't, don't. I don't have a schedule. I have about 40 wips posted, and a few that aren't yet. It can take me a year to update, or I'll do four in a week. People are pleased either way - what matters is that you wrote something, and it exists, and other people can read it. Isn't that awesome? You've made something. You've made a mark. Someone's happy because of you, because you wrote something they like. Who cares if there's twenty typos and you use the wrong you're* (*or equivalent in your language, ofc) - you can fix that later. And it didn't stop that person's enjoyment of the first fic you ever posted, which might not be as good as your future fics, but it's still special. It's still yours.

Prioritise the thing you want to prioritise. Plot, relationships (of any nature), whatever. Prioritise that. The rest will fall into place. Personally, I prioritise characterisation. interpersonal dynamics follow, part and parcel of character exploration, then plot, as an extension. Do what suits you. And people don't tend to mind very much about any of these. If characterisation matters to you not one whit, just put OOC in the tags and be done with it. Plot doesn't matter? Perfectly fine! You don't want to write ships? Nobody's forcing you. Do what you want. It's just fanfiction. That's kind of the point. There's no need to feel pressure to write a certain thing. I'm in a lot of fandoms with a lot of very large ships. I'd get a lot more readers if I wrote st*rek, or d*stiel, or whatever, but I don't, because I wouldn't enjoy it. Write what you want to see. What you want to read. That's the best advice I can give. If you cry at your own fic, perfect. If you laugh at your own fic, brilliant. If your own fic leaves you all giddy like, grinning wide, amazing. It's gonna give someone else that reaction, too.

Hits, kudos, comments - they're not everything. Ao3, for harry potter, has 5000 pages of fic, with some of the tags I don't like excluded. It's not a case of people not liking your fic - it's a case of people not finding it. Don't worry. Recognition will come with time. Also, the ratio for fics is kind of awful, anyway. Comments and kudos vs hits is always poor; 2%, 5%, 7%. Don't worry too much about it. If people read it, it's likely they liked it. A lot of people are just lazy, and don't press the kudos button. A lot of people are incredibly nervous, or don't know what to say, so they don't comment. Another thing; some of your fics are going to be more popular than others. This is normal. Fandom size, fandom activity, content of fic, tags - prevalence of fic type, etc etc. One of my fics has around 15k notes. the rest are all below 6k. the runner up is a whole 10k below that fic. This is to be expected, and it's nothing to tear your hair out about. Write, first and foremost, for yourself. The rest, as always, comes later.

Really, tldr; you can always fix it later. the rest comes later. recognition comes later. the best thing to do - the first thing to do, the only thing to do - is just start. Post something. Anything. And go from there however you wish.

In 2016 i had zero subscribers on Ao3. I've got 72 now. These things just take time. In 2016 i'd written 30k words. I've written 1.2 million now. These things just take time. Through fandom, mostly fanfiction, I've gained people I'd consider friends. I think it's a really cool endeavour, and I think - for your confidence, peace of mind, and social sphere - it's also a really positive one.

#me; motivational speaker? no. but I try.#thanks!!!#these were really interesting ones :D #ask game

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bayside-smoking-blues · 4 years

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I wanna say some things bc I’ve been mad about this subject for a while now. It’s not only about HypMic’s fandom, but about fandoms in general. Tho the amount of shit I’ve seen in the HypMic fandom has only been growing with time so I guess it’s time I position myself more clearly (as if it wasn’t clear enough where I stand lol). I’m sure I’ll get a lot of unfollows but guess what: I don’t care.

Some time ago on twitter a person who was very well known in the fandom was harassed out of it because they had LEFT KUDOS IN A “PROBLEMATIC” SHIP FANFIC. They were harassed to no end and accused of shit they never did and of liking things they didn’t even like BECAUSE SOMEONE FOUND THEIR USERNAME LISTED IN THE KUDOS LIST OF A FANFIC. They had so much shit thrown at them that they ended up deleting their account and leaving the fandom. Like, what the FUCK is wrong with you all? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO JUDGE SOMEONE’S ENTIRE CHARACTER BASED ON WHAT THEY SHIP IN FICTION? YOU’RE A NOBODY, THAT’S WHO YOU ARE.

In another fandom I’m in, a person almost commited SUICIDE because they were harrassed bc of the art they drew and the ships they liked.

So let’s start by saying: this blog is a safe space for SHIPPERS, or, if you wanna call them (us!!) that, anti-antis.

So, you ship JyuJiro? Come here, pal, let’s be bffs rn, I love JyuJiro, as you all already should know.

You ship BBcest? That’s not my cup of tea so I don’t reblog/post about it, but I really do not care if you like it! We can be friends too!

You ship HitoJyushi? Also not my thing, but nice!!

You ship RioSabu in a non-unrequited way? That’s fine! I’m not into it bc it makes me personally uncomfortable since I can’t disconnect Saburo from his canon age, but that’s my problem. I won’t crucify you for being able to!

You ship Rei with Ichiro? I find that disgusting and if we’re mutuals I’d rather if you tagged it so I could blacklist it, but you’re not commiting a crime by shipping two bunches of pixels together so I’ll also not hate on you for that.

You ship literally anything in this godforsaken fandom? Go for it, my friend, it’s none of my business to begin with. lmao

I just DON’T CARE about what people like IN FICTION. I DON’T CARE.

Of course, I’m bothered by shotacon/lolicon bc those are actual depiction of children and I’m very uncomfortable with CHILDISH BODIES being sexualized even if they’re just anime. But if you’re into shota/loli due to coping with past abuse (that I will not, in any circunstance, force you to disclose to me bc that’s a very personal matter that no one has the right to make you expose against your will) I won’t hold that against you, even if I’d rather avoid you bc the content you share makes me really uncomfortable. But yeah, this is the only “exception” in my “like what you like in fiction and that’s okay” list,

I’M TIRED of seeing people being harassed because of ships. FUCKING TIRED. NO ONE is committing a crime by shipping fictional characters, even if you dislike it, even if it makes you uncomfortable, hell, even if it triggers you. Here’s a thing: even if you project your abuse onto a specific ship or character, that’s only you. That’s your view. Your experience isn’t universal and everyone will not see your abuse in a ship because they don’t even know you. They will just see a ship that they will choose (or not) to see whatever they want in said ship. As long as the content is properly tagged, the person sharing it is already doing their “job”.

I’m sorry to break this for you but the entire fandom is not, and it doesn’t have to be, anyone’s safe space. EVERYONE has the right to be in fandom, including people who ship things you don’t like, and they have the right to share their content. Again, if it’s properly TAGGED. Create your own safe space, use the blacklist functions, mute words on twitter, mute or block accounts, the tools are all there, USE THEM.

So, if you’re an anti, a fanpol, a fancop, a fucking FANDOM POLICE, do us both a favor and get the fuck outta my blog. You’re not welcome here.

I guess that’s all. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. If you have any hate to send me I have a collection of anime and meme reaction pictures I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to use so feel free to send me too.

#fandom drama #fandom wank #fandom bullshit #suicide tw #abuse tw #harassment tw

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hyunggurph · 3 years

Text

STARDEW ADMIN

here i’m going to talk about what happened and everything in between because there are some narratives out there that i don’t like and i didn’t have a chance to speak for myself because i was in class and had hw. take it as you will. but, i will not be disclosing any personal names!

me and my friend decided to make stardew back in october, but it ended up being a lot more than what my friend, and i, could handle so i brought in some people i thought were my friends to help me run it. we had our issues, we didn’t do everything that we should’ve and we had a SHIT reputation that we 100% deserved. it made me wary of adminning, so i kind of spaced a little bit (which was easy to do being back home without decent internet to even run tumblr)

fast forward a few months and we bring on a new admin, B. (this happen about two weeks ago, i believe). everything was fine and chill and we were just vibing while my other two admins, C and B1, needed the extra help because i was slacking in the admin department. which, i don’t blame them for. B1 decided to bring in B as an admin while i was asleep, without asking me or C about it. at that point, the logins had been shared and it was too late for me to voice my concern or unwant for it because she was already acting as admin.

i was already in a pretty bad mental space with other stuff that had been going on and i was sick, so i was very on the fence with staying or leaving, but i inevitably stayed because they wanted me to be there.. and they were my friends, so i did!

now, a few days ago, my ex admin ,that helped me create the group, was talking about wanting to join again with our mutual friend (who they had a ship with in a previous rp). it was all jokes at first, but once sharing that want in the admin group chat that we had, B1 and B were quick to judge it off with nasty comments and not even taking it as a joke. i was continuing on as it was, even throwing in things back. here’s some screenshots with MY input as well so y’all can see where even I went wrong:

the above screenshots are when it was initially brought up, even i was going along saying that i agreed she shouldn’t be in the rp, but that was because i didn’t think my friend was serious. the second i found out she was i quickly changed up my story. i got into a call with her and my friend who had helped me make the rp originally and she expressed how upset she was because these people loved her character “isabella” from a past group we were in with her. it got to the point where she was talking about never playing this character again, and stepping down from rp entirely because she felt BAD that people hated her character this much to the point where she was being denied in a group that was run by her FRIENDS.

fast forward a couple hours after the phone call ends and i say my apologies to her myself, i message the discord and ask them to apologize (unfortunately i’m not in the discord anymore, but i sent it to our imessage gc too bc it was ignored for a hot minute in the discord):

now, i’ll admit how i said it was very pointed, but it’s not how i meant it originally. i was mad and upset that i was 1. being put in a weird, uncomfortable position, and 2. my friend was hurt. it was met with backlash and them basically trying to make it seem like they weren’t in the wrong for what they were saying, and saying that they were going to delete/ignore her app entirely, and because i was “agreeing with them”. when, i was joking they were serious. a simple apology really isn’t that hard, right? evidently it was! they were pretty much refusing to apologize because they didn’t feel that they had to because it was their opinion. it’s two little words: some i had already spoken to the individual myself. once i realized the harsh messages back and the way everything was handled, i decided to step down, as an admin and member. which, i said in the group chat myself. i even had a closing message on my character about how i loved the group for 5 months and that the admins would do right and keep it alive just fine.

i had no harsh feelings (except the fact that my ‘friends’, minus C, hadn’t even tried to check up on me to see how i was feeling after everything, but that’s not important, really). i had made my amends, but when you’re with something for that long, you develop and attachment to the group.

after about 5 days, i messaged C talking about how i wanted to come back (this happened last night), and she met me with a weird feeling of basically being like ‘oh.... but there’s other rps in the tags!’, so that was already red flag number 1.

which, i STILL feel that i have every right to return to a group i MADE. not as admin, but simply as a member. and i didn’t feel like me wanting them to apologize for upsetting someone and putting me in a weird position was really ALL that deep to warrant discomfort by ME. i was wrong!

i woke up this morning and saw that they accepted SIX apps, but mine wasn’t there. C said it wasn’t intentional and that they were just waiting to discuss it because they didn’t know how B would feel! turns out, they were already on the fence of me joining and it was intentional! as a quote from B1, “part of me says no, but part of me says yes i’m conflicted and waiting for B”.

i was also met with harsh assumptions towards my intentions and sincerity saying i was joining “out of spite” when i had told C last night that i was bored and wanted to rp... i checked the tl daily while i was gone because i missed it.

in no way did i say they STOLE my group because they did not, NOR did i have any knowledge about one of them being “racist”, everything that was thrown out today was my first time hearing it, too. what my friend posted is not what I’M saying. all i was saying was that i was unfairly denied a spot back into my group for reasons that are petty and unfair, nor do i think it should’ve been taken to the tags in such a manner. but i will not shame my friend for trying to stick up for me when they knew i was hurt, even if it was done the wrong way.

#rpt #rpc #twitter rp

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pendragaryen · 5 years

Text

blog summary tag game

Find your fandom kru and help them find you. Answer the following and include the tag #the100blog in your answer, then tag some of the blogs you follow.

Tagged by the amazing @clarkgriffon and the lovely @carrieeve! Thank you!

1. What are your primary topics?

The 100 (mostly Bellarke and Bellamy Blake/Bob Morley, but literally every other ship and character also appear; less or close to none B/cho tho, due to personal reasons) and a bit of GOT, LOTR, Btvs etc... And on the other hand I try to keep my blog as cozy/aesthetically pleasing as possible - also due to personal reasons. It’s my little feel-good-place. I like me some good coffee- and/or autumnal photographies and aesthetics. ;)

2. What tags should a visitor check?

#my art and #my edit, where you can find my personal fan-artworks/-drawings and -edits, but also tag-games/answers

#the100edit, #bellarkeedit & #the100castedit - this’ll take you to all my edits for the 100, bellarke or the cast, and you can pretty much follow that tagging format to find any creations I make (So, Octavia would be #octaviablakeedit).

Otherwise, just check out my navi pages for tv, movies, and music to find what you like/prefer.

3. What do you love about the 100?

Bellamy Blake/Bob Morley. ;)

The constant question: What is right, what is wrong? None of the characters is innocent, none of them completely without any fail. The constant learning process they’re all part of. Their struggle for life and their will to cross almost EVERY possible line to protect the ones they love - what almost drives me crazy sometimes... ;) The fact that you’re able to understand even the most evil person/enemy (although you might not agree with what they do). That is good writing to my eyes. Imo nothing is badder than a flat villain that’s only there bc the plot demands it... or solely to drive the story of the “heroes” forward... I’ve had enough of that in other shows I’ve watched.

And of course: The most compelling, beautiful and heartbreaking partner-/relationship i’ve ever came across in tv so far: Bellarke. I love Bobby and Eliza’s performance so so much.

4. What do you hate/what frustrates you about the 100?

There ARE some plot devices I can’t (for the life of me) understand or process. Not even after a certain amount of time. I haven’t had that sort of struggle with the show before S5 - and that speaks volumes to my eyes, bc I could live with EVERYTHING beforehand when it comes to relationships/couples. The reason for my constant frustration is b/cho, there’s no denying on my part of that fact. Every single other relationship I think was well thought through and explainable. Even Bellina/Bina, ‘though they were given far too few time to develop that relationship completely. But when it comes to b/cho... sorry... Nothing against Tasya. But I’m not able to buy that couple. It’s seems too flat for my taste. There are no sparks, no chemistry. Bellamy deserves all the love out there, that’s for sure. But that doesn’t mean that i’ll always have to understand his decisions concerning that matter completely (the threesomes in S1 for example... ;) ). I love you dearly, Bell, but this (b/cho) i can’t understand. I simply can’t. But this is of course only my own personal opinion. No offence.

5. Is this exclusively a the 100 blog?

mostly (S. No.1)

6. What else should people know?

Primarily I don’t do any character- and/or ship-hate on my blog. That means I’m trying to AVOID most of the topics I don’t like or struggle with. I sometimes reblog things concerning the matter when I agree with them, but I’d never tag them so that you’d find them in the rightful tag on my blog.

Anon hate will be deleted.

I’d really like to get more into contact with the fam, but due to my job that’s almost an impossible task most of the time. So, if I shouldn’t answer in time it’s nothing personal.

@hereforbobmorley, @katersann, @lovethyblakes, @fen-ha-fuck-you, @asroarke, @bellarke, @bellamynochillblake, @bellamys11thfreckle, @morleybobs, @morleybell, @clarkeywifey, @grumpybell, @junebugninja, @jasperjoordan, @octannibal-blake, @peterstarkss, @pilotzaven, @tracylorde, @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold, @andnowyourehome, @thegriffin-blakefamily, @bellarkekomlovekru (tagged in no particular order and only if you like to do this of course ;) )

#tagged #carrieeve #clarkgriffon #THANK YOU #the100blog #the 100 #bellarke #the 100 fandom #the 100 fam #the fam #bellarke fam #bellarke fandom #my edit #me #just me

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