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stylesberries · 4 years

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Right Choice

Summary: Harry has a moustache now and you want to get it sticky.

Genre(s): pure smut

Word Count: 3.0k

Warning(s): swearings, sexual intercourse, sticky moustache.

A three-month quarantine resulted in a long ass list of awful consequences, starting from an economic fall to a rise in unemployment. Living this reality was depressing. It was hard to stay positive when people around were losing their jobs and being separated from their loved ones. You and Harry luckily got to quarantine together, as you were both peacefully cuddling in Los Angeles when it was announced that the borders are closing.

Being together in a closed space for so long took a toll on the relationships of many couples. Every day you heard people here and there getting divorces and breaking up because of the fact that they couldn’t stand each other for so long. Thankfully, as Harry was doing PR before the quarantine and overall gets to spend little to no time with you when he’s working, you were more than happy to be stuck together.

Your relationship had already felt like marriage before, but now you were thrown into a complete married life simulator.

You loved it.

You were waking up to your boyfriend showering you with kisses every day, and deep inside you knew that you have to make sure your skin remembers every touch and every kiss of his for the times when he’s away.

Your days were full of baking cookies, playing Scrabble, having sex in every room of the house, and, of course, trying out new things when it comes to your appearance.

You would keep debating on cutting your bangs at least six times a day, to a point where you had to change your lock screen to a picture of you with awful photoshopped bangs, just to fight off the constant desire to cut your hair.

Harry, on the other hand, left his hair alone for a while and would let you cut his hair from time to time when it would get too out of control, making it hard for him to tame it.

While you were busy watching a tutorial on how to cut hair, only half an hour into the process, Harry was staring into a mirror holding the hair you already cut off up to his upper lip.

“Baby,” Harry called.

Despite the fact that you were standing right next to his chair, all of your attention was on the tutorial, so you didn’t hear him calling out for you.

“Babeee.” He whined this time, desperately trying to get you to pay attention to him.

“Huh? What? Sorry, love, what were you saying?” You pulled yourself from the screen of your phone and looked up to Harry’s reflection in your bathroom mirror.

He was sitting in a chair, which you carried to your bathroom from the kitchen, with your raincoat wrapped around his upper body, to make sure none of the little hairs end up in his shirt, tickling him for the rest of his life. You noticed how he was holding up the short hair pieces you had just cut off up to his face.

“Whatcha think? Should I shave off the sides?”

You knew he was referring to his beard, which you grew to love. Although in the beginning you weren’t used to the feeling of prickly skin on yours when you kissed, with the time you got used to razor burns and started enjoying the feeling of his bearded chin in the crook of your neck whenever you were cuddling. However, you weren’t sure if you enjoyed that or seeing his beard wet of your juices every time he went down on you more.

Letting yourself get a bit too carries away with your fantasies, you looked back into his eyes, processing his question properly this time.

“The sides only? Into a moustache you mean?,” you questioned.

“Yeah. I was thinking that if I’ll be home for a while, why not try anything new with the facial hair, now that I can grow a bit more than a couple of hairs here and there?” Harry smiled at you, trying to analyze your facial expression to figure out what you think about his idea.

You weren’t particularly against it; you’ve just never been too into moustaches. Although you knew your English curly was right - this was just the best time to do this, if he wants to try it and see.

Your hand went to reach his and to grab a couple of hair pieces to bring them up to his upper lip. Placing the hair in a moustache shape you looked down at him, awaiting his judgement.

“Like this, baby?” you asked.

He considered the shape you suggested and let his hand rise to yours over his face. He pulled on the hairs on the two ends of the ‘moustache’ and looked back to his reflection. Harry’s gaze fell upon your face right after, asking for your opinion on his alteration.

“I think it would look cute.” Never before had you though that your boyfriend would have a moustache, as you were never really a fan of how they looked. However, you never really imagine that you would be able to call Mr. Harry Styles himself your boyfriend, and we all know that this man, sitting in front of you, can make anything look good.

“Really? Are y’sure it won’t look weird and all?” he asked feeling a bit conscious over the change.

“Honey, first of all - everything looks amazing on you, okay? And I am completely serious. Secondly, if you hate it, you can always shave it off, right?” You placed your hands on his shoulders, still talking to him while looking into his reflection’s eyes.

Harry blushed at your compliment and reclined back into the chair, pushing his head back to you and puckering his lips, awaiting your kiss. You noticed the green eyes piercing yours from below and his bright pink lips inviting yours. You bent slightly to reach his lips with yours. As you pulled away, Harry got up and covered the sides of his beard with his hands and stared intently in the mirror once again.

“I think you’ll look hot. Not that you don’t already look hot.” You pressed a kiss on his back and sneaked your hands under the raincoat and his shirt, pressing them against his bare chest.

“I’m doing it then?” He hesitated and reached for his shaving cream and razor, looking for a sign of approval from you before applying it.

“I’m all for it, so it’s up to you.” Harry nodded and started applying the shaving cream onto his cheeks.

“Just know that you have to eat me out whenever you’re done here because I’m dripping,” you casually announced, as you pulled your hands from under his shirt to walk out of the bathroom, leaving him standing with shaving cream in his beard. Walking out of the bathroom, you could see his jaw drop through your peripheral vision.

“Fuck, Y/N...” he groaned.

That’s what he gets for being so fucking hot.

Here you were standing in the kitchen, making yourself some tea to pass the time while Harry was busy shaving. You tried to distract yourself from the constant pulsating in your lower stomach by scrolling through Instagram, not really paying attention to the content of the feed.

You were so focused on the mindless scrolling that you didn’t hear the heavy footsteps coming your way from outside the kitchen.

“Y/N,” Harry breathed heavily, as he walked closer to you from the back.

You turned around, finally noticing his presence. Let’s just say - he was a sight to see. The moment you saw his beard newly shaven, except for the area above his lips, making him look like he just came from the 70s, you felt your juices starting to coat your thighs right there and then.

“Fuck,” you thought.

Harry, knowing you inside out, in every meaning of that phrase, could see the lust filling your eyes and your pupils dilating.

“Like it, huh, baby?” He walked right up to your heated self.

Even though your mind was clouded with lust, you could still see his erection, as he was making his way towards you.

“Harry fucking Styles, if you keep teasing me I will ki—.” The end of the sentence ended up in Harry’s mouth, as he pushed his lips against yours full of need.

You could feel the moustache prickle the top of your lip.

You loved every second of it.

Harry pulled himself from you and pushed you up to sit on the counter.

“I’ll be getting t’work now if you don’t mind.” He didn’t even look up at you for approval, getting down on his knees in front of the counter.

Next thing you knew - he was pulling your pants off of your legs.

“Hold onto somethin’, baby.”

You reached for the corner of the cupboard, waiting for Harry to take some action.

With one harsh pull, your pants went flying away from both of you, landing next to the kitchen table.

“Fuck, Y/N, I can smell y’from here. Who made y’so wet, baby? Was it me? Or the moustache, huh?” A loud moan left your mouth to answer his question.

“What do you want me to m’do, love? Where d’you want me?” He started dragging the tip of his nose along your legs, starting from your ankles and going up from there. The thick hairs below his nose pricked the soft skin of your inner thighs and you couldn’t keep yourself from pushing your hands through his half-cut curls and pulling him further into your thighs.

“H, fuck, it feels so good.” You closed your eyes, as you felt him move his head to the other leg, neglecting the place where you craved him the most.

“Answer m’questions.” He calmly spoke into your knee; the movement of his lips made you squirm.

“I-I want you on me.” You felt your blood rush to your cheeks, even though you weren’t at all specific.

“I am on you.” He teased you, as his lips started kissing your ankles.

“Not there...” You whined as he kept himself away from your core.

“Where then, sweetheart? Don’t think I understand.” He looked up at you with his chin pressed against your inner thigh once again, flashing you the most innocent look you’ve seen. You would’ve fallen for it if you didn’t know him so well.

Normally, you would’ve been stubborn and wouldn’t have given in to his teasing, but you were so wet that you couldn’t wait any longer.

“I want you...on my pussy.” You blushed even harder, feeling your ears getting hot.

Harry looked up from your thighs and gave you a smile.

“Anything you say, my dear. See - that wasn’t s’hard.” He smirked up at you, starting to pull on your underwear.

At this point you were long gone, finally getting what you’ve been asking for this whole time. You paid his teasings no mind, as you felt your underwear being slowly pulled down your legs, eventually joining the pants on the floor.

“Ugh, fuck. Look at m’girl. You’re glistening with cum, sweetheart.” He was ready to dive right into his favorite meal of the day, spreading your legs before him.

Unfortunately, instead of going straight to where you wanted him, he left kisses along your lower stomach.

You couldn’t hold yourself any longer and took the matter into your own hands. Quite literally.

You placed your hands back into your tease-of-a-boyfriend’s hair and pushed his head down into your pussy, feeling the tip of his nose brush against your folds.

“Fuck, that’s right, Y/N. Show me how much y’need me. Come on. Use me, honey.”

You didn’t expect him to be so turned on by your action, but the words following were the ones that left you hyperventilating.

“I’ll stay here,” He moved slightly away from your entrance. “And you,” he continued. “You will fuck m’face. Get m’face all wet with your juices.”

Your eyes rolled back as you felt his words echo in your head.

“I need you,” was all you could blurt out.

“Take me then.”

You couldn’t keep yourself from pushing your pussy against his face, nor did you want to.

As you started rapidly and desperately moving your hips against his mouth, nose, and his new moustache, you felt the pleasure you’ve never before experienced.

You could feel Harry was enjoying it as well, if not more than you did if that was possible. He shut his eyes close in pleasure and let you use his face to get off.

You could feel him press his face harder against your opening, each time your hips moved to meet him.

“God, H. You feel so good against my pussy. Fuck it feels so good.” You needed him to know how good he was making you feel, without even having to do much.

You felt him smile into your entrance, and his moustache lightly grazes your clit.

“Oh my God, Harry. Do that again, please.” You tried pushing your hips lower to experience the feeling again.

You were lucky to see Harry contribute to the teamwork without teasing you for once. He lifted his head up to let the thick hairs meet the surface of your sensitive spot.

It hurt. It was too sensitive, and you loved every second of it. You felt a familiar rush and fluttering in your lower stomach.

“Already?” You thought. You had never felt an orgasm coming this fast before.

Harry kept bowing his head onto your pussy, this time adding his tongue. Instead of playing with you a bit as he usually did in the beginning, he went straight to your vagina, pushing the tip of his tongue inside of you, which caught you by surprise. You forgot all the letters and words and couldn’t make a single sound except helpless whimpering, moaning, and calling out for your boyfriend to fuck you harder.

Harry was so focused on getting you to cum that he didn’t make a sound either, except groaning into you from now and then, not being able to hide the fact that he was having the time of his life.

“H-Harry.” You weakly whimpered.

He couldn’t hear you. The sounds of your wetness, his lips smacking as he sucked on your clit between going back and forth fucking you with his tongue and your sweet moans were ringing in his ears.

“Har,” you moaned his name louder, this time catching his attention. He kept fucking you with his tongue while rising his eyes up at you to let you know he was listening.

“I’m gonna cum, don’t stop baby, please don’t stop.” You were begging at this point, letting him know he had to take full control, as you were too out of it to control your body’s movements.

Harry picked up the pace at which his tongue was entering your pussy through your folds. You tried to find anything to hold onto, but the cupboard that you were holding onto before was too smooth, so your hand kept slipping.

You felt the fluttering intensify and your head feeling light. You were so close.

You just needed one last push to get you over the edge.

Harry knew it as well.

He pulled his mouth away from your vagina, quickly replacing it with his fingers before you could start complaining. As he started working his fingers in and out of you, curling them to make sure his finger pads press directly at your sweet spot inside, he got an idea.

Looking up at you with your eyes closed and your mouth agape, so close to your peak, he pressed his mouth a little lower from your clit. This also meant that his moustache found home directly on your clit. Harry didn’t let himself stay still for too long, turning his head from side to side to give you all of the sensations you needed.

“Fuck, Harry, I’m cumming,” was all you could get yourself to say between your screams of his name.

He fucked in and out of you even faster than before, feeling you start to tighten around him, as you did right before you came. Noticing it, he moved his head faster, giving your clit a lick from time to time.

“Harry!” You felt an orgasm hit you. Hard. You felt your body shake in convulsions, as it moved through you. Your senses became even more aware of every touch of his. You felt Harry moan against you. As your mind slowly became more aware of your surroundings, you felt Harry’s fingers slide out of you. Even though your mind was still hazy, you saw him move them up to his mouth to lick them clean.

“Har?” You softly called out for him.

“Here, my beautiful.” He cooed, getting up from his knees, helping you sit up comfortably on the counter, as you were sliding off of it.

“Are you okay, love? Came hard, didn’t you? Feeling alright?” He carefully enveloped you in a hug.

“Mhmmm,” was all you could say, as your mind was still too foggy from the orgasm.

“Oh shit.” Harry cursed under his breath, pulling one of his hands from you.

“What?” You were alert and worried if something bad happened. You followed his eyes down to his pants, confused as ever. Before you saw a wet spot in the front of his pants.

“Came in m’pants.” He blushed a little, feeling embarrassed. He didn’t even have to touch himself.

“But you didn’t even-“

“You’re just s’hot, couldn’t help it.” He explained.

Only now you noticed his moustache. It was completely covered in your juices.

“UGH HARRY COME ON!” You hungrily jumped on him.

The moustache was the right choice.

#harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles moustache #harry styles masterlist #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry styles mustache #calm #harry styles fic #harry styles x you

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gaytobymeres · 3 years

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Rating Bertie Wooster’s outfits based on how much gender envy they make me feel

Because I’m bored <3

Stroppy

I like this outfit, nice and smart. Would love to wear it. Big fan of the watch chain. The pose definitely adds a certain whatsit. Makes me feel an average level of gender envy relative to other period tv shows. 7/8.

Broon suit

Um. Very brown. Like idk what else to say about this outfit. I like it though, he suits brown. I like the jumper vest/tie combo I think it’s very flattering. Though I like it doesn’t make me feel that much gender envy. 6/10.

Grey suit

Pretty bland but still pretty. I like the subtle check it has, though I don’t like the tie that much. Doesn’t make me feel that much gender envy. 5/10.

Grue (grey blue) suit

Really love the contrast of the red tie, and I am a huge fan of waistcoats (if you know me you know this already. The other day I embarrassed myself around my friend’s very serious lawyer husband bc I love his waistcoats+fashion sense. Anyway.) I like the subtle stripe on his shirt as well, and I’m a big fan of the cut of the jacket. Overall a very lovely look which makes me feel a fair amount of gender envy. 9/10.

Blue pin stripe suit my beloved

I love this outfit so much oh my god. Had to pause for a wee bit in order to fully appreciate it <3 I think the colour is lovely, the cut is exquisite and I love the stripe on the shirt too. I think the rose really makes it. 10/10.

Green blazer and vest

I really love this outfit, no joke I’m sure I’ve envied the exact same suit in the fancy suit shop in my city. I want his knitted vest thing so badly!! The cap is also just !! Love it!! Like it is a fairly basic outfit but it looks cosy and comfy and gives me a good amount of gender envy. 10/10.

Rich bitch at the beach about to get robbed

Overall I like this outfit but I have to say I amn’t a huge fan of the tie mainly because it clashes just a touch too much for me (and lowkey it reminds me of the tie I had to wear in high school). I love the gold buttons on the navy jacket, they really pop. Make a statement (they say: I’m gay and rich and my valet has a good fashion sense). The hat and the cane really complete the look. 8/10.

Dressing gown

Aww I love his wee purply-reddish-bluey fruity dressing gown so much <3 I personally don’t like wearing dressing gowns that much but I would wear this one. The fit of it is really nice, looking surprisingly smart for loungewear. It looks comfy, cosy, and a wee bit gay. 15/10.

Jeeves Vexer No. 1

Love it. An absolute look. Would buy this in a heartbeat and anyone who raises their eyebrow in a contemptuous manner will be getting slapped godbless <3 Huge fan of the gold buttons and I really love the angular shapes of the jacket. I especially like how the white/cream of the jacket contrasts with the black of the rest of his outfit. The cigarette holder is what elevates this outfit, however, and is imo an integral part of it. So is how he’s lounging, the lounging is essential. Makes me feel a lot of gender envy. 20/10.

Yee fuckin haw babey

Are you kidding me omg I wish I looked like this so badly, right down to the mildly abhorrent moustache. The hat. The moustache. The furry jacket. The suit. The tie. Absolutely fantastic. 100/10.

#not pictured: me struggling to spell exquisite for ages cos autocorrect didnt understand me #bertie wooster #jeeves and wooster #long post #this is so long I’m so sorry #anyway I love him this was fun to do #can’t believe I used to think I was cis lmao #tbh idk how I’d describe my gender. I’m just vibing. dw abt it.#but doing shit like this helps it’s fun <3 #emma spraffs

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a-friendly-fangirl · 3 years

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My thoughts on Sex Education, season 3.

⚠️⚠️⚠️SPOILERS⚠️⚠️⚠️

First of all, please try to remember that this is just my opinion. I'm nobody to judge whether the season was good or bad and I don't mean to hurt anyone.

With that being said, I'd like to begin by admitting that I liked these 8 episodes overall... but there were so many things that felt wrong to me.

I loved Jean's journey during her pregnancy and the way she tried to take care of everyone at the same time (although I kind of disliked Jakob for some things he said).

I loved Aimee and her desire to heal after the assault. The way she really wants to make her voice be heard was heartwarming and inspiring to me. Plus, her friendship with Maeve is one of the most beautiful I've ever watched (about this, I'll say something later on).

I loved Viv and her ambition that slowly became less important than her peers and their rights. She really wanted them to be happy in the end. I think that she didn't really understand how bad things with Hope were until the trip to France. And she redeemed herself in a great way.

I loved Lily and her journey towards acceptance of herself, even when others thought she was weird and silly. It was empowering seeing her so confident in the end.

I loved Adam's growth. It taught that even the most simple of passions can turn into something meaningful and that, no matter how bad you are, you can change.

Above all, I loved Maeve finally getting the chance to do something amazing for herself for once.

All of these things were wonderful, truly. But so many others I didn't like and I couldn't really understand as narrative choices.

Let me begin with the one I found the most annoying: Isaac's fake redemption arc. I know what you might say: "Of course you hate it! You ship Maeve and Otis!". Well, yes, I do. But it's not all about that. I might be exaggerating... but Isaac deleting Otis' message was beyond disrespectful to me. If you remember, at the beginning of the second season, Isaac was really mean to Maeve... but he had the opportunity to redeem himself. He had the chance to say he was sorry and to be a better person to her, even though he had been around for so little time. However, when it came to Otis to have the same opportunity, he decided that he wasn't worth it. Isaac, who didn't really know Otis, took away from him the chance to at least say that he was truly sorry for being such an ass to Maeve. But, what feels even worse to me is that he took away even Maeve's possibility to decide. We don't know how it would have gone, if Maeve had listen to what Otis had to say. Maybe she would have forgiven him. Maybe she would have still chosen Isaac, because Otis hurt her too much. Who knows what might have been? No one. And why? Because Isaac decided for everyone. And I don't care if he thought he was protecting Maeve or if he was angry. It. Was. Not. His. Choice. To. Make.

Also, I didn't really understand why Maeve wasn't as mad as I was with him. Sure, she stopped talking to him for a couple of days. But the moment she started to speak with him again, they hooked up. Too fast, too soon, in my opinion. He apologised? Sure. But so did Otis. And he didn't get to be so easily forgiven.

But let's move to the another point I have a lot to say about: Otis and Ruby. I really liked them together. I found them cute and funny. But still... Ruby struggled for real to accept Otis for who he is. And Otis acted the way she wanted to keep her close. For example, he shaved off his moustache for her. Now, most of the fandom hated that moustache... but again, Otis seemed to care a great deal for it. He kept repeating that he spent months growing it. But Ruby didn't like it. And he sacrificed something he was proud of for her. But okay, a lot of people would do something like that for their loved ones. But then he had to dress like her friends to fit in. To be fair, Ruby gave up that idea pretty soon... but she just reacted to Otis refusing to do it. If I had to make a comparison between her and another love interest (not Maeve, 'cause I'd be biased), I'd choose Ola, of course. She was putting pressure on him in other ways, but she never wanted him to be any different than who he was. Love, after all, means acceptance. And perhaps Ruby loved Otis for he saw the hardest part of her life, without judging her. I wish it could have been the same for him.

About this, I've noticed many people being disappointed in Otis not saying he loved her too, because it means that he was just using her. Well... no? I mean, he was the first one to admit that, if she was willing to give him more time, he might have learned to love her. Should he have made it clear to her earlier in the relationship? Sure! Can we condemn him for not feeling the same? Absolutely not! Feelings can't be forced. And I'm also sure that he thought he was done for good with Maeve. He suffocated the love he had for her so much that the clinic made him sick and that he admitted his feelings only when pressured by Maeve herself.

In conclusion, I think that Otis and Ruby might have had a wonderful friendship, if they were only given the chance. They have that kind of chemistry.

Talking about people who are better off as friends: in my opinion, that's all Maeve and Aimee will ever be. I honestly can't see anything romantic in them. The purity of their friendship means so much to me and it's, at least for me, so different from the "Friends who are more than friends" energy. We're so lucky to have such wonderful actresses to play these characters... and what I see in their gestures and glances tells me of a great friendship. They're so different from Emily and Sue in Dickinson (they're supposed to be just friends, but they're clearly not) or even Judy and Jen in Dead To Me (another pair of friends that can be ambiguous with each other).

Moving to another couple, whose development I didn't understand: Adam and Eric. I'm not a great fan of their relationship. I like them both as individuals. But the bully-victim dynamic they used to have wasn't the best one to start a relationship with. I could see the appeal though. So much that, I was truly happy for them, when they said their first I love you's. And every step Adam made in the right direction made me smile, since that it took him a long time to grow up. Eric seemed happy with him too. Until he went to Nigeria. I sincerely loved the whole trip... but something felt wrong in him founding what he truly wanted there, where he couldn't even tell his family he had a boyfriend. The scene in the taxi gave me chills. I felt the risk he was taking by going with a stranger to a gay club. A stranger that he kissed almost out of nowhere (whether it was the heat of the moment or Adam not replying to him, I'm not sure). It's the second time he cheats on his boyfriend. And I think Eric deserves far better as a character.

My question about this whole drama is: "How come Eric found out that he wanted to be free in Nigeria and not in England?". If it's true that going to the club made him realise he wanted to be among people like him, it makes the whole situation even more absurd. Because there are plenty of gay bars and clubs in England. Why not go to one of them? My theory is that they wanted to build a good romance with Adam, then build tension between them and in us and end the whole thing with their breakup (probably to make Adam fall in love with Rahim).

I swear I'm almost done. I want to discuss one last topic with you all.

Maeve going to America like that felt so rushed. It's probably another strategy to make us want to see more of the show. And it surely worked. But still, it has, at least for how they developed it, nothing to do with Maeve maturing. The idea itself was amazing. I loved her getting the opportunity of a lifetime. But she literally decides to go the evening before (which is not even realistic. In real life, you have a deadline until which you can pay to go wherever you want. If you don't, your place is given to someone else), after getting the money from her mother. Now, where does that money come from? She might as well have stolen it, since she didn't have it before. In my opinion, this part of the story could have gone differently with little effort and the same outcome. How? Well, since that basically everyone thought she deserved to go to America, why couldn't have her classmates and teachers organised a fundraiser? Even in secret, so that she couldn't get angry for their "charity". It would have been so much better and so wholesome to see everyone in that school give a little sum for her, even to thank her for the help they got from the clinic.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for talking so much, but this season didn't go as expected and I truly needed to vent :P.

Thank you for listening❤

#sex education #sex ed netflix #sex ed #sex ed s3 #maeve x otis #otis milburn #otis x maeve #maeve wiley #jean milburn #ola nyman #isaac goodwin #ruby matthews #eric effiong #adam groff #asa butterfield #emma mackey #ncuti gatwa

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kitkatopinions · 2 years

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Out of curiositu. What's wrong with Port, robyn and hazel? I do know that you hate coco because of her relation to nazism and you don't like her character overall but what is with remainning three?

I have some silly/not very valid reasons to dislike the characters, but some reasons that I think are pretty valid.

Lots of anti-Port, anti-Robyn, and anti-Hazel under the keep reading.

Peter Port His design looks dumb to me. His moustache is even worse than Jacques' and Watts' moustaches, his outfit is lame, and his weapon is even worse. His Chibi appearances? Never funny once. His voice acting? Cringe. Out of all three of the men written by toxic-masculine men to laugh their heads off at having ‘tricked a man who didn’t know any better into wearing something traditionally feminine - and therefore seen by them as embarrassing - so everyone could laugh at him for doing something that wasn’t gender conforming,’ Port is the only one who never got much depth to his character, and therefore this is harder for me to just headcanon out of here. The dude literally like, leered at Yang when she was underage? Like he was like "Huntsman" and then he makes a face and like, lowers his voice and looks at Yang and is like "HUnTrEssEssss" and then clicked his tongue in that flirty way, and Yang looked visibly uncomfortable and annoyed and gave a forced and very awkward chuckle (I’ve been there.) And I've heard people be like "no, he wasn't flirting, he was just teasing, see Yang laughed." But that's purposefully pretending to not get it. If any man talked to any woman he didn't know like that, I'd consider him mega creepy and gross, let alone a man older than Yang's father, when she was either sixteen or seventeen, doing it in class!

Robyn Hill I also hate her design. I don't know what's up with her hair. Kudos to the writers for designing a woman that doesn't look like a teenager, but there is too much going on with her outfit, I hate it, and also it's so dull. She ate up tons of screen time with Qrow, whatever friendship they had felt forced, and for someone who really had been looking forward to seeing Qrow interact with other characters he already had some level of connection with like Ironwood and Winter, this was personally annoying. Like Clover, she annoyed me because I was waiting for things I cared about and instead got them. XD Robyn was a somewhat late addition, originally her role was as a cheesy mayor (literally they called her "Mayor McCheese") and later on they made her role bigger and different. I think it's easy to tell that she was a late addition, her character doesn't seem super fleshed out, and she doesn't have a very good role imo probably because it was thrown together. The role that she does have in volume seven wound up being centered around opposing people. Since I was a fan of Ironwood and he was one of the people she opposed, this made me biased from the start the same way that when Ironwood first came in during volume two, I was biased against him for going against Ozpin. However, Ironwood wound up not really working against Ozpin, never did anything worse than informed the Council of events and being assigned as the head of security for an event, and wound up openly trusted by the Inner Circle by the end of his second season. Robyn never wound up able to co-exist with James. Her role in volume 8 was literally just playing support to Qrow, who got benched the whole season as it was. She started the whole plane fight despite Clover and Qrow both being willing to talk about solutions and figure things out. Robyn seems very hotheaded and rash, which alone doesn't make for a bad character, but in a story where I'm already wishing that less people relied on anger and impulse and would actually talk things out and compromise, she's just all that more frustrating. Yang and Blake trust her for no real reason, just because the writers wanted people in Team RWBY to ‘display trust,’ but they were also writing for all of them to continually lie to and show mistrust to James already. On top of that, we as an audience never see Robyn do anything with the supplies that she steals. I could talk more about this point in another post, but not seeing anything done with these supplies makes her efforts look ineffective and unnecessary, and it makes it all the more frustrating that the same people who act accusatory to Ironwood at the end of volume seven because Amity isn’t finished yet have absolutely zero problem with the person who was causing the delay. Robyn has the problem of only being a character during the height of my frustrations with the series. She acts as a mouthpiece for whatever the writers want the audience to think, she carries the hivemind group think of most of the 'good' mains, she tells us how terrible Clover actually was and how much better Qrow is after Clover's death despite the fact that she doesn't know the guy and was arguably partially responsible for his death by starting the whole plane fight... A lot of characters are the same way. But they have the benefit of having existed outside of the Atlas arc. Ruby was arguably three times as frustrating in the last two seasons than Robyn was, but I remember when I liked her. With Robyn, all I have is some of the most frustrating and worst written moments in the history of the show. This is the big one for me - She called Marrow Wags. She doesn't know him. She threw his status as a Faunus and her doing the bare minimum of not being Jacques Schnee in his face and then called him Wags. If the writers hadn't ever dipped their toes in their dreadfully done fake-Racism story, this wouldn't be a problem. But it is, and it seems wildly inappropriate and insensitive for her to nickname a Faunus by their Faunus trait, especially one she doesn't know. It was horrible and clearly offensive when Roman Torchwick called Blake 'Kitty,' but we're supposed to be one hundred percent on board with and never blink our eyes at a politician running a "I'm not that bad guy" campaign that calls Faunus offensive nicknames? Yeah, no thanks.

Hazel Reinhart Again, his design is lame, but especially his volume eight look. I don't know who thought it looked good, but it haunts me. It's so badly done. His dialogue also often feels forced, which is a complaint I have for other mostly villains like Cinder and Adam. The man literally beats children, and then his wiki page says he has a soft spot for kids lol. Not only does he beat children, but both times he started trying to beat up on Oscar, he was also ranting about how it was Ozpin's fault, blaming Ozpin for his actions like Ozpin was puppeteering his actions and he just couldn't help himself. It's ridiculously that no one ever was like "Hey maybe stop with the 'why are you hitting yourself' routine and stop victim blaming Ozpin for your issues?" He likely was hunting down and murdering hunters in Mistral. Many of them were Qrow's friends and he looked so sad! This guy literally said "My sister made a choice and the person who 'let her' do it is going to get all my anger forever, instead of the person who makes Grimm for fun." He literally said "I'm going to say he deserves torture because my sister wanted to help people and then died doing an incredibly dangerous job and I need someone to blame." I can understand that he was grieving, but again, there was so much misguided blame. And this wouldn't be as big of a deal if not for... The narrative of the show painted Hazel as at least partially right. His badly done death-equals-redemption, rushed and stupid turn to the light side was accompanied by the "no more Gretchens" line and the fact that Hazel's view of Ozpin never really was challenged. The way the story went basically implied that Hazel was right and that Ozpin really was responsible for the death of his sister, and had to be careful in the future not to let anyone else die... As if the entire series isn't centered around young fifteen-to-nineteen year olds fighting a war and insisting they’re ready and the narrative all but saying everyone has to not only let them do whatever they want, but that they aren't good people if they don't help them do it.

Sooo... Yeah. XD That’s why I hate them. There are other people I absolutely hate too, including Cinder, Jacques, the gods, Salem, and Junior, but they’re all people I feel like I was already supposed to hate. Granted, I hate some of them for reasons I don’t think I was supposed to, but I was still meant to hate them. For characters like Robyn, Hazel, Port, and Coco, I was actually supposed to like them at least by the end of their time so far, and instead I wish they’d never existed.

#rwde #rwby hate #anti rwby #rwby bashing #anti robyn hill #anti hazel reinhart #anti peter port #mention of some #anti coco adel #rwby criticism

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saintmarymead · 2 years

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💃🏻🚢Death on the Nile thoughts and review !!!🥂🕌

Spoilers under cut !!

After literal years of waiting, hearing that teeny teaser at the end of Murder on the Orient Express- I have finally got to watch Kenneth Branagh’s Death on the Nile!!!!!!!

Death on the Nile is my joint favourite Agatha Christie book (along with Five Little Pigs), and I adore Suchet’s version soooo much, I’ve rewatched it so many times. Not a fan of Ustinov but that’s just my personal taste. I love murder lovers Jackie and Simon (the fact Simon was last played by JJ Felid and now Armie….. the downgrade) and the ending scene is one of my favourites in not even just any Poirot, but of all movies (and why I started listening to Al Bowly) So this new adaptation had a lot to hold up to !!!

Overall, I did really enjoy it! The cinematography was beautiful and the acting was really good too!! I loved the scene with Poirot and his little biscuits!!!! “Leave my little friend alone.” Baby boy baby.

Van Schuyler and Bowers being together made me really happy!!! Lesbians, lesbians, lesbians!!!!!!! Little old lady lesbians!!!! It was a very nice and fitting addition. But I did Not like how Poirot outed them in front of Bouc? And how … aggressive he was being.

Emma Mckay was really good as Jackie. I didn’t think I would like anyone who wasn’t Emma Griffiths Malin as Jackie but I loved Emma Mckay just as much!!!!! She played her so well.

The merging of Pennington with Allerton and Mr Ferguson with Dr Bessner was interesting. As was how they were all in Egypt for the Doyle’s wedding party and all knowing each other rather than just coincidentally going on the same cruise. And of course the addition of Bouc and his mother being apart of that. I’m not sure why Branagh kept Bouc in when Colonel Race was right there…. or the reason to kill him off that wasn’t just to make Poirot more edgy and sad.

The mustache lore…. I hated. Hated. Poirot has a funky mustache. That is it. We don’t need a traumatic reason Mr. Branagh…. not to mention him SHAVING IT AT THE END. I loved Rosie’s little Poirot roast, but I resent that he admitted it was true? Like yes, Poirot is all those things. He is egotistical and a little freak but I don’t think he would ever admit to that. And I really don’t like that Poirot is the little freak that he is, because of the moustache trauma, because of the weird love interest back story. “I was normal before :)) I was gonna be a farmer :))” No, Poirot is just a little weirdo. An egotistical little freak penguin man. That is why I love him. He doesn’t need a reason to be so!!! The weird edgy trauma porn for him was weird as heck and I wish Branagh had left that out, but, artistic liberty, his vision and all I suppose.

So yes, overall I did enjoy the movie! Beautiful cinematography, great actors and lovely music! It was a good adaptation of the original story, and though I did not enjoy it nearly as much as it or the 2004 version, they will always be there for me to reread and rewatch !! I’m very excited to see what else Branagh does in creating the AGATHA CHRISTIE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE!!!!! I’ve seen him mentioning making a Miss Marple film, and that I would love. But he better not make her young or anything!

#dotn #dotn spoilers #wanna 🥺🥺 acc give my thoughts on agatha christie it is always on me brain but i always keep to myself #not anymore !!! gonna use this blog 🥰🥰🥰🥰

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gottawriteanegoortwo · 3 years

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Darkstache - Green!

A short special for the ‘Dark is colourblind’ series, since I’m Irish and I’m making the most of it being St. Patrick’s Day.

Word Count: 621

“What.”

Dark had to do a double-take when Wilford entered the common room the Egos would take breaks in. He even went as far as taking off his glasses and cleaning them to make sure that - yes - he was seeing it correctly.

“What is that.”

Spoken as a sentence rather than a question, Dark pointed to Wilford. The reporter, in confusion, looked at the inflatable hammer in the colours of the Irish flag.

“I dunno. Irish folk like havin’ ‘em at their parades. I think their Paddy fella used some sorta hammer ta squash th’ snakes -”

“No - no, I meant your hair. What did you do to your moustache?” Dark’s question hung in the air for several long seconds as Wilford’s brain clunked to life and processed the question. Eventually, the lights turned on in his mind as realisation struck.

“Oh! Yeah! I made ‘em green fer St Patrick’s Day! I’ve done it every year fer years now. I forget ya never saw it.” He pointed to the moustache excitedly now he knew this was his lover’s first time seeing it. “Myself, Bing, Erik an’ Illinois get together an’ celebrate bein’ Irish!”

“None of us have Irish connections -”

“But it doesn’t matter! Th’ Irish are great an’ let anyone be Irish fer th’ day since it’s their way ta be all like ‘This is who we are!’. An’ Illinois has been ta Ireland a few times so it totally counts. So that’s why I dyed all my pink green today. Look look! Matching suspenders!” Wilford tugged one of them, just in case Dark didn’t notice the extra green. “Bet I could be an honorary Septic like this! Bring back th’ fans love of that green hair an’ get all th’ love!” Which reminded him! The hammer was dropped to the floor, giving a harmless squeak upon landing. Wilford pulled something that looked slightly fluffy out of his pocket. Upon seeing the green, white, and gold; Dark’s eyes widened as he stepped back.

“No. No no no. I am NOT wearing that.” Dark took a second step back as Wilford shook the colours to reveal it was an afro wig. The refusal was ignored as Wilford hastily hurried over and put it on.

“C’mon! Just fer a sec. I wanna see it!” The attempt by Dark to wriggle away failed as Wilford got to work tucking Dark’s hair under the wig. It gave him a chance to examine the green better. He lowered his head just enough to see the moustache without the help of the glasses, and it was clear how he would have missed it. The shade of grey didn’t even change. Moments like these really reminded him how much better life was with colour.

“Hey Darkie?”

“Yes?”

The sound of a camera clicking caught his attention, and Wilford’s phone was quickly spun around to show Dark the image. It was of the entity, looking up at the camera with a hint of a smile on his lips. The colourful wig was in stark contrast to his overall appearance, yet he didn’t feel humiliated at the sight.

“I look ridiculous,” he said, the bizarreness of the moment making him laugh.

“But ya look so cute,” Wilford simply argued, leaning over to peck Dark on the nose. In response, Dark wrapped an arm around Wilford’s neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“I’m quite surprised you would turn your beloved pink green for a day. You must be looking forward to the eighteenth.”

Wilford simply grinned with mischief. He whispered “I dyed it” as he kissed Dark again, not giving the other a chance to realise he would be stuck looking at the green for at least a fortnight.

#darkstache #writersofmark #darkiplier #wilford warfstache #dark is colourblind #(happy St Patrick's Day! :D )#(I was actually starting to write something else but Wilford stormed into my brain and insisted I do this instead)#(and yes; inflatable hammers are a thing at parades. I have no idea why)

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grigori77 · 3 years

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Movies of 2021 - My Pre-Summer Favourites (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10. ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE – one of the undisputable highlights of the Winter-Spring period has to be the long-awaited, much vaunted redressing of a balance that’s been a particular thorn in the side of DC cinematic fans for over three years now – the completion and restoration of the true, unadulterated original director’s cut of the painfully abortive DCEU team-up movie that was absolutely butchered when Joss Whedon took over from original director Zack Snyder and then heavily rewrote and largely reshot the whole thing. It was a somewhat painful experience to view in cinemas back in 2017 – sure, there were bits that worked, but most of it didn’t and it wasn’t like the underrated Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, which improves immensely on subsequent viewings (especially in the three hour-long director’s cut). No, Whedon’s film was a MESS. Needless to say fans were up in arms, and once word got out that the finished film was not at all what Snyder originally intended, a vocal, forceful online campaign began to restore what quickly became known as the Snyder Cut. Thank the gods that Warner Bros listened to them, ultimately taking advantage of the intriguing alternative possibilities provided by their streaming service HBO Max to allow Snyder to present his fully reinstated creation in its entirety. The only remaining question, of course, is simply … is it actually any good? Well it’s certainly much more like BVS:DOG than Whedon’s film ever was, and there’s no denying that, much like the rest of Snyder’s oeuvre, this is a proper marmite movie – there are gonna people who hate it no matter what, but the faithful, the fans, or simply those who are willing to open their minds are going to find much to enjoy here. The damage has been thoroughly patched, most of the elements that didn’t work in the theatrical release having been swapped out or reworked so that now they pay off BEAUTIFULLY. This time the quest of Bruce Wayne/Batman (Ben Affleck) and Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) to bring the first iteration of the Justice League together – half-Atlantean superhuman Arthur Curry/the Aquaman (Jason Momoa), lightning-powered speedster Barry Allan/the Flash (Fantastic Beasts’ Ezra Miller) and cybernetically-rebuilt genius Victor Stone/Cyborg (relative newcomer Ray Fisher) – not only feels organic, but NECESSARY, as does their desperate scheme to use one of the three alien Mother Boxes (no longer just shiny McGuffins but now genuinely well-realised technological forces that threaten cataclysm as much as they provide opportunity for miracles) to bring Clark Kent/Superman (Henry Cavill) back from the dead, especially given the far more compelling threat of this version’s collection of villains. Ciaran Hinds’ mocapped monstrosity Steppenwolf is a far more palpable and interesting big bad this time round, given a more intricate backstory that also ties in a far greater ultimate mega-villain that would have become the DCEU’s Thanos had Snyder had his way to begin with – Darkseid (Ray Porter), tyrannical ruler of Apokolips and one of the most powerful and hated beings in the Universe, who could have ushered the DCEU’s now aborted New Gods storyline to the big screen. The newer members of the League receive far more screen-time and vastly improved backstory too, Miller’s Flash getting a far more pro-active role in the storyline AND the action which also thankfully cuts away a lot of the clumsiness the character had in the Whedon version without sacrificing any of the nerdy sass that nonetheless made him such a joy, while the connective tissue that ties Momoa’s Aquaman into his own subsequent standalone movie feels much stronger here, and his connection with his fellow League members feels less perfunctory too, but it’s Fisher’s Cyborg who TRULY reaps the benefits here, regaining a whole new key subplot and storyline that ties into a genuinely powerful tragic origin story, as well as a far more complicated and ultimately rewarding relationship with his scientist father, Silas Stone (the great Joe Morton). It’s also really nice to see Superman handled with the kind of skill we’d expect from the same director who did such a great job (fight me if you disagree) of bringing the character to life in two previous big screen instalments, as well as erasing the memory of that godawful digital moustache removal … similarly, it’s nice to see the new and returning supporting cast get more to do this time, from Morton and the ever-excellent J.K. Simmonds as fan favourite Gotham PD Commissioner Jim Gordon to Connie Nielsen as Diana’s mother, Queen Hippolyta of Themyscira and another unapologetic scene-stealing turn from Jeremy Irons as Batman’s faithful butler Alfred Pennyworth. Sure, it’s not a perfect movie – the unusual visual ratio takes some getting used to, while there’s A LOT of story to unpack here, and at a gargantuan FOUR HOURS there are times when the pacing somewhat lags, not to mention an overabundance of drawn-out endings (including a flash-forward to a potential apocalyptic future that, while evocative, smacks somewhat of overeager fan-service) that would put Lord of the Rings’ The Return of the King to shame, but original writer Chris Terrio’s reconstituted script is rich enough that there’s plenty to reward the more committed viewer, and the storytelling and character development is a powerful thing, while the action sequences are robust and thrilling (even if Snyder does keep falling back on his over-reliance on slow motion that seems to alienate some viewers), and the new score from Tom Holkenborg (who co-composed on BVS:DOJ) feels a far more natural successor than Danny Elfman’s theatrical compositions. The end result is no more likely to win fresh converts than Man of Steel or Batman Vs Superman, but it certainly stands up far better to a critical eye this time round, and feels like a far more natural progression for the saga too. Ultimately it’s more of an interesting tangential adventure given that Warner Bros seem to be stubbornly sticking to their original plans for the ongoing DCEU, but I can’t help hoping that they might have a change of heart in the future given just how much better the final product is than any of us had any right to expect …

9. SYNCHRONIC – writer-director duo Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are something of a creative phenomenon in the science-fiction and fantasy indie cinema scene, crafting films that ensnare the senses and engage the brain like few others. Subtly insidious conspiracy horror debut Resolution is a sneaky little chiller, while deeply original body horror Spring (the film that first got me into them) is weird, unsettling and surprisingly touching, but it was breakthrough sleeper hit The Endless, a nightmarish time-looping cosmic horror that thoroughly screws with your head, that really put them on the map. Needless to say it’s led them to greater opportunities heading into the future, and this is their first film to really reap the benefits, particularly by snaring a couple of genuine stars for its lead roles. Steve (Anthony Mackie) and Dennis (Jamie Dornan) are paramedics working the night shift in New Orleans, which puts them on the frontlines when a new drug hits the streets, a dangerous concoction known as Synchronic that causes its users to experience weird localised fractures in time that frequently lead to some pretty outlandish deaths in adults, while teenage users often disappear entirely. As the situation worsens, the pair’s professional and personal relationships become increasingly strained, compounded by the fact that Steve is concealing his recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, before things come to a head when Dennis’ teenage daughter Brianna (Into the Badlands’ Ally Ioannides) vanishes under suspicious circumstances, and it becomes clear to Steve that she’s become unstuck in time … this is as mind-bendingly off-the-wall and spectacularly inventive as we’ve come to expect from Benson and Moorhead, another fantastically original slice of weirdness that benefits enormously from their exquisitely obsessive attention to detail and characteristically unsettling atmosphere of building dread, while their character development is second to none, benefitting their top-notch cast no end. Mackie is typically excellent, bringing compelling vulnerability to the role that makes it easy to root for him as he gets further out of his depth in this twisted temporal labyrinth, while Dornan invests Dennis with a painfully human fallibility, and Ioannides does a lot with very little real screen time in her key role as ill-fated Brianna. The time-bending sequences are suitably disorienting and disturbing, utilising pleasingly subtle use of visual effects to further mess with your head, and the overall mechanics of the drug and its effects are fiendishly crafted, while the directors tighten the screw of slowburn tension throughout, building to a suitably offbeat ending that’s as devastating as anything we’ve seen from them so far. Altogether this is another winning slice of genre-busting weirdness from a filmmaking duo who deserve continued success in the future, and I for one will be watching eagerly.

8. WITHOUT REMORSE – I’m a big fan of Tom Clancy, to me he was one of the ultimate escapist thriller writers, and whenever a new adaptation of one of his novels comes along I’m always front of the line to check it out. The Hunt For Red October is one of my favourite screen thrillers OF ALL TIME, while my very favourite Clancy adaptation EVER, the Jack Ryan TV series, is, in my opinion, one of the very best Original shows that Amazon have ever done. But up until now my VERY FAVOURITE Clancy creation, John Clark, has always remained in the background or simply absent entirely, putting in an appearance as a supporting character in only two of the movies, tantalising me with his presence but never more than a teaser. Well that’s all over now – after languishing in development hell since the mid-90s, the long-awaited adaptation of my favourite Clancy novel, the origin story of the top CIA black ops operative, has finally arrived, as well as a direct spin-off from distributor Amazon’s own Jack Ryan series. Michael B. Jordan plays John Kelly (basically Clark before he gained his more famous cover identity), a lethally efficient, highly decorated Navy SEAL whose life is turned upside down when a highly classified operation experiences deadly blowback as half of his team is assassinated in retaliation, while Kelly barely survives an attack in which his heavily pregnant wife is killed. With the higher-ups unwilling the muddy the waters while scrambling to control the damage, Kelly, driven by rage and grief, takes matters into his own hands, embarking on a violent personal crusade against the Russian operatives responsible, but as he digs deeper with the help of his former commanding officer, Lt. Commander Karen Greer (Queen & Slim’s Jodie Turner-Smith), and mid-level CIA hotshot Robert Ritter (Jamie Bell), it becomes clear that there’s a far more insidious conspiracy at work here … in the past the Clancy adaptations we’ve seen tend to be pretty tightly reined-in affairs, going for a PG-13 polish that maintains the intellectual fireworks but still tries to keep the violence clean and relatively family-friendly, but this was never going to be the case here – Clark has always been Jack Ryan’s dark shadow, Clancy’s righteous man without the moral restraint, and a PG-13 take never would have worked, so going for an unfettered R-rating is the right choice. Jordan’s Kelly/Clark is a blood-soaked force of nature, a feral dog let off the leash, bringing a brutal ferocity to the action that does the literary source proud, tempered by a wounded vulnerability that helps us to sympathise with the broken but still very human man behind the killer; Turner-Smith, meanwhile, regularly matches him in the physical stakes, jumping into the action with enthusiasm and looking damn fine doing it, but she also brings tight control and an air of pragmatic military professionalism that makes it easy to believe in her not only as an accomplished leader of fighting men but also as the daughter of Admiral Jim Greer, while Bell is arrogant and abrasive but ultimately still a good man as Ritter; Guy Pearce, meanwhile, brings his usual gravitas and quietly measured charisma to proceedings as US Secretary of Defence Thomas Clay, and Lauren London makes a suitably strong impression during her brief screen time to make her absence keenly felt as Kelly’s wife Pam. The action is intense, explosive and spectacularly executed, culminating in a particularly impressive drawn-out battle through a Russian apartment complex, while the labyrinthine plot is intricately crafted and unfolds with taut precision, but then the screenplay was co-written by Taylor Sheridan, who here reteams with Sicario 2 director Stefano Sollida, who’s also already proven to be a seasoned hand at this kind of thing, and the result is a tense, knuckle-whitening suspense thriller that pays magnificent tribute to the most compelling creation of one of the best authors in the genre. Amazon have signed up for more with already greenlit sequel Rainbow Six, and with this directly tied in with the Jack Ryan TV series too I can’t help holding out hope we just might get to see Jordan’s Clark backing John Krasinski’s Ryan up in the future …

7. RAYA & THE LAST DRAGON – with UK cinemas still closed I’ve had to live with seeing ALL the big stuff on my frustratingly small screen at home, but at least there’s been plenty of choice with so many of the big studios electing to either sell some of their languishing big projects to online vendors or simply release on their own streaming services. Thank the gods, then, for the House of Mouse following Warner Bros’ example and releasing their big stuff on Disney+ at the same time in those theatres that have reopened – this was one movie I was PARTICULARLY looking forward to, and if I’d had to wait and hope for the scheduled UK reopening to occur in mid-May I might have gone a little crazy watching everyone else lose it over something I still hadn’t seen. That said, it WOULD HAVE been worth the wait – coming across sort-of a bit like Disney’s long overdue response to Dreamworks’ AWESOME Kung Fu Panda franchise, this is a spellbinding adventure in a beautifully thought-out fantasy world heavily inspired by Southeast Asia and its rich, diverse cultures, bursting with red hot martial arts action and exotic Eastern mysticism and brought to life by a uniformly strong voice cast dominated by actors of Asian descent. It’s got a cracking premise, too – 500 years ago, the land of Kumandra was torn apart when a terrible supernatural force known as the Druun very nearly wiped out all life, only stopped by the sacrifice of the last dragons, who poured all their power and lifeforce into a mystical gem. But when the gem is broken and the pieces divided between the warring nations of Fang, Heart, Spine, Tail and Talon, the Druun return, prompting Raya (Star Wars’ Kelly Marie Tran), the fugitive princess of Heart, to embark on a quest to reunite the gem pieces and revive the legendary dragon Sisu in a desperate bid to vanquish the Druun once and for all. Moana director Don Hall teams up with Blindspotting helmer Carlos Lopez Estrada (making his debut in the big chair for Disney after helping develop Frozen), bringing to life a thoroughly inspired screenplay co-written by Crazy Rich Asians’ Adele Kim which is full to bursting with magnificent world-building, beautifully crafted characters and thrilling action, as well as the Disney prerequisites of playful humour and tons of heart and soul. Tran makes Raya an feisty and engaging heroine, tough, stubborn and a seriously kickass fighter, but with true warmth and compassion too, while Gemma Chan is icy cool but deep down ultimately kind of sweet as her bitter rival, Fang princess Namaari, and there’s strong support from Benedict Wong and Good Boys’ Izaac Wang as hard-but-soft Spine warrior Tong and youthful but charismatic Tail shrimp-boat captain Boun, two of the warm-hearted found family that Raya gathers on her travels. The true scene-stealer, however, is the always entertaining Awkwafina, bringing Sisu to life in wholly unexpected but thoroughly charming and utterly adorable fashion, a goofy, sassy and sweet-natured bundle of fun who grabs all the best laughs but also unswervingly champions the film’s core messages of peace, unity and acceptance in all things, something which Raya needs a lot of convincing to take to heart. Visually stunning, endlessly inventive, consistently thrilling and frequently laugh-out-loud funny, this is another solid gold winner once again proving that Disney can do this kind of stuff in their sleep, but it’s always most interesting when they really make the effort to create something truly special, and that’s just what they’ve done here. As far as I’m concerned, this is one of the studio’s finest animated features in a good long while, and thoroughly deserving of your praise and attention …

6. THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES – so what piece of animation, you might be asking, could POSSIBLY have won over Raya as my animated feature of the year so far? After all, it would have to be something TRULY special … but then, remember Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse? Back in 2018, that blew me away SO MUCH that it very nearly became my top animated feature of THE PAST DECADE (only JUST losing out, ultimately, to Dreamworks’ unstoppable How to Train Your Dragon trilogy). When I heard its creators, the irrepressible double act of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs), were going to be following that up with this anarchic screwball comedy adventure, I was VERY EXCITED INDEED, a fervour which was barely blunted when its release was, inevitably, indefinitely delayed thanks to the global pandemic, so when it finally released at the tail end of the Winter-Spring season I POUNCED. Thankfully my faith was thoroughly rewarded – this is an absolute riot from start to finish, a genuine cinematic gem I look forward to going back to for repeated viewings in the near future, just to soak up the awesomeness – it’s hilarious to a precision-crafted degree, brilliantly thought-out and SPECTACULARLY well-written by acclaimed Gravity Falls writer-director Mike Rianda (who also helms here), injecting the whole film with a gleefully unpredictable, irrepressibly irreverent streak of pure chaotic genius that makes it a affectionately endearing and utterly irresistible joyride from bonkers start to adorable finish. The central premise is pretty much as simple as the title suggests, the utterly dysfunctional family in question – father Rick (Danny McBride), born outdoorsman and utter technophobe, mother Linda (Maya Rudolph), much put-upon but unflappable even in the face of Armageddon, daughter Katie (Broad City co-creator Abbi Jacobson), tech-obsessed and growing increasingly estranged from her dad, and son Aaron (Rianda himself), a thoroughly ODD dinosaur nerd – become the world’s only hope after naïve tech mogul Mark Bowman (Eric Andre), founder of PAL Labs, inadvertently sets off a robot uprising. Cue a wild ride comedy of errors of EPIC proportions … this is just about the most fun I’ve had with a movie so far this year, an absolute riot throughout, but there’s far more to it than just a pile of big belly laughs, with the Mitchells all proving to be a lovable bunch of misfits who inspire just as much deep, heartfelt affection as they learn from their mistakes and finally overcome their differences, becoming a better, more loving family in the process, McBride and Jacobson particularly shining as they make our hearts swell and put a big lump in our throat even while they make us titter and guffaw, while the film has a fantastic larger than (virtual) life villain in PAL (Olivia Colman), the virtual assistant turned megalomaniacal machine intelligence spearheading this technological revolution. Much like its Spider-Man-shaped predecessor, this is also an absolutely STUNNING film, visually arresting and spectacularly inventive and bursting with neat ideas and some truly beautiful stylistic flair, frequently becoming a genuine work of cinematic art that’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is the intellect and, of course, the soul. Altogether then, this is definitely the year’s most downright GORGEOUS film so far, as well as UNDENIABLY its most FUN. Lord and Miller really have done it again.

5. P.G. PSYCHO GOREMAN – the year’s current undeniable top guilty pleasure has to be this fantastic weird, thoroughly over-the-top and completely OUT THERE black comedy cosmic horror that doesn’t so much riff on the works of HP Lovecraft as throw them in a blender, douse them with maple syrup and cayenne pepper and then hurl the sloppy results to the four winds. On paper it sounds like a family-friendly cutesy comedy take on Call of Cthulu et al, but trust me, this sure ain’t one for the kids – the latest indie horror offering from Steven Kostanski, co-creator of the likes of Manborg, Father’s Day and The Void, this is one of the weirdest movies I’ve seen in years, but it’s also one of the most gleefully funny, playing itself entirely for yucks (frequently LITERALLY). Mimi (Nita Josee-Hanna) and Luke (Owen Myre) are a two small-town Canadian kids who dig a big hole of their backyard, accidentally releasing the Arch-Duke of Nightmares (Matthew Ninaber and the voice of Steven Vlahos), an ancient, god-tier alien killing machine who’s been imprisoned for aeons in order to protect the universe from his brutal crusade of death and destruction. To their parents’ dismay, Mimi decides to keep him, renaming him Psycho Goreman (or “P.G.” for short) and attempting to curb his superpowered murderous impulses so she can have a new playmate. But the monster’s original captors, the Templars of the Planetary Alliance, have learned of his escape, sending their most powerful warrior, Pandora (Kristen McCulloch), to destroy him once and for all. Yup, this movie is just as loony tunes as it sounds – Kostanski injects the film with copious amounts of his own outlandish, OTT splatterpunk extremity, bringing us a riotous cavalcade of bizarrely twisted creatures and mutations (brought to life through some deliciously disgusting prosthetic effects work) and a series of wonderfully off-kilter (not to mention frequently off-COLOUR) darkly comic skits and escapades, while the sense of humour is pretty bonkers but also generously littered with nuggets of genuine sharply observed genius. The cast, although made up almost entirely of unknowns, is thoroughly game, and the kids particularly impress, especially Josee-Hanna, who plays Mimi like a flamboyant, mercurial miniature psychopath whose zinger-delivery is clipped, precise and downright hilarious throughout. There are messages of love conquering all and the power of family, both born and made, buried somewhere in there too, but ultimately this is just 90 minutes of wonderful weirdness that’s sure to melt your brain but still leave you with a big dumb green when it’s all over. Which is all we really want from a movie like this, right?

4. SPACE SWEEPERS – all throughout the pandemic and the interminable lockdowns, Netflix have been a consistent blessing to those of us who’ve been craving the kind of big budget blockbusters we have (largely) been unable to get at the cinema. Some of my top movies of 2020 were Netflix Originals, and they’ve continued the trend into 2021, having dropped some choice cuts on us over the past four months, with some REALLY impressive offerings still to come as we head into the summer season (roll on, Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead!). In the meantime, my current Netflix favourite of the year so far is this phenomenal milestone of Korean cinema, lauded as the country’s first space blockbuster, which certainly went big instead of going home. Writer-director Jo Sung-hee (A Werewolf Boy, Phantom Detective) delivers big budget thrills and spills with a bombastic science-fiction adventure cast in the classic Star Wars mould, where action, emotion and fun characters count for more than an admittedly simplistic but still admirably archetypical and evocative plot – it’s 2092, and the Earth has become a toxic wasteland ruined by overpopulation and pollution, leading the wealthy to move into palatial orbital habitats in preparation for the impending colonisation of Mars, while the poor and downtrodden are packed into rotting ghetto satellites facing an uncertain future left behind to fend for themselves, and the UTS Corporation jealously guard the borders between rich and poor, presided over by seemingly benevolent but ultimately cruel sociopathic genius CEO James Sullivan (Richard Armitage). Eking out a living in-between are the space sweepers, freelance spaceship crews who risk life and limb by cleaning up dangerous space debris to prevent it from damaging satellites and orbital structures. The film focuses on the crew of sweeper vessel Victory, a ragtag quartet clearly inspired by the “heroes” of Cowboy Bebop – Captain Jang (The Handmaiden’s Kim Tae-ri), a hard-drinking ex-pirate with a mean streak and a dark past, ace pilot Kim Tae-ho (The Battleship Island’s Song Joong-ki), a former child-soldier with a particularly tragic backstory, mechanic Tiger Park (The Outlaws’ Jin Seon-Kyu), a gangster from Earth living in exile in orbit, and Bubs (a genuinely flawless mocapped performance from A Taxi Driver’s Yoo Hae-jin), a surplus military robot slumming it as a harpooner so she can earn enough for gender confirmation. They’re a fascinating bunch, a mercenary band who never think past their next paycheque, but there’s enough good in them that when redemption comes knocking – in the form of Kang Kot-nim (newcomer Park Ye-rin), a revolutionary prototype android in the form of a little girl who may hold the key to bio-technological ecological salvation – they find themselves answering the call in spite of their misgivings. The four leads are exceptional (as is their young charge), while Armitage makes for a cracking villain, delivering subtle, restrained menace by the bucketload every time he’s onscreen, and there’s excellent support from a fascinating multinational cast who perform in a refreshingly broad variety of languages. Jo delivers spectacularly on the action front, wrangling a blistering series of adrenaline-fuelled and explosive set-pieces that rival anything George Lucas or JJ Abrams have sprung on us this century, while the visual effects are nothing short of astounding, bringing this colourful, eclectic and dangerous universe to vibrant, terrifying life; indeed, the world-building here is exceptional, creating an environment you’ll feel sorely tempted to live in despite the pitfalls. Best of all, though, there’s tons of heart and soul, the fantastic found family dynamic at the story’s heart winning us over at every turn. Ultimately, while you might come for the thrills and spectacle, you’ll stay for these wonderful, adorable characters and their compelling tale. An undeniable triumph.

3. JUDAS & THE BLACK MESSIAH – I’m a little fascinated by the Black Panther Party, I find them to be one of the most intriguing elements of Black History in America, but outside of documentaries I’ve never really seen a feature film that’s truly done the movement justice, at least until now. It’s become a major talking point of the Awards Season, and it’s easy to see why – director Shaka King is a protégé of Spike Lee, and together with up-and-coming co-screenwriter Wil Berson he’s captured the fire and fervour of the Party and their firebrand struggle for racial liberation through force of arms, as well as a compelling portrait of one of their most important figures, Fred Hampton, the Chairman of the Illinois Chapter of the BPP and a powerful political activist who could have become the next Martin Luther King or Malcolm X. Get Out’s Daniel Kaluuya is magnificent in the role, effortlessly holding your attention in every scene with his laconic ease and deceptively friendly manner, barely hinting at the zealous fire blazing beneath the surface, but the film’s true focus is the man who brought him down, William O’Neal, a fellow Panther and FBI informant placed in the Chapter to infiltrate the movement and find a way for the US Government to bring down what they believed to be one of the country’s greatest internal threats. Lakeith Stanfield (Sorry to Bother You, Knives Out) delivers a suitably complex performance as O’Neal, perfectly embodying a very clever but also very desperate man walking a constant tightrope to maintain his cover in some decidedly wary company, but there’s never any real sense that he’s playing the villain, Stanfield largely garnering sympathy from the viewer as we’re shamelessly made to root for him, especially once he starts falling for the very ideals he’s trying to subvert – it’s a true star-making performance, and he even holds his own playing opposite Kaluuya himself. The rest of the cast are equally impressive, Dominique Fishback (Project Power, The Deuce) particularly holding our attention as Hampton’s fiancée and fellow Panther Akua Njeri, as does Jesse Plemmons as O’Neal’s idealistic but sympathetic FBI handler Roy Mitchell, while Martin Sheen is the film’s nominal villain in a chillingly potent turn as J. Edgar Hoover. This is an intense and thrilling film, powered by a tense atmosphere of pregnant urgency and righteous fury, but while there are a few grittily realistic set pieces, the majority of the fireworks on display are performance based, the cast giving their all and King wrestling a potent and emotionally resonant, inescapably timely history lesson that informs without ever slipping into preachy exposition, leaving an unshakable impression long after the credits have rolled. This doesn’t just earn all the award-winning kudos it gained, it deserved A LOT MORE recognition that it got, and if this were a purely critical rundown list I’d have to put it in the top spot. As it is I’m monumentally enamoured of this film, and I can’t sing its praises enough …

2. RUN, HIDE, FIGHT – the biggest surprise hit for me so far this year was this wicked little indie suspense thriller from writer-director Kyle Rankin (Night of the Living Deb), which snuck in under the radar but is garnering an impressive reputation as a future cult sleeper hit. Critics have been less kind, but the subject matter is a pretty thorny issue, and if handled the wrong way it could have been in very poor taste indeed. Thankfully Rankin has crafted a corker here, initially taking time to set the scene and welcome the players before throwing us headfirst into an unbelievably tense but also unsettlingly believable situation – a small town American high school becomes the setting for a fraught siege when a quartet of disturbed students take several of their classmates hostage at gunpoint, creating a social media storm in the process as they encourage the capture of the crisis on phone cameras. While the local police gather outside, the shooters discover another threat from within the school throwing spanners in the works – Zoe Hull (Alexa & Katie’s Isabel May), a seemingly nondescript girl who happens to be the daughter of former marine scout sniper Todd (Thomas Jane). She’s wound pretty tight after the harrowing death of her mother to cancer, fuelled by grief and conditioned by her father’s training, so she’s determined to get her friends and classmates out of this nightmare, no matter what. Okay, so the premise reads like Die Hard in a school, but this is a very different beast, played for gritty realism and shot with unshowy cinema-verité simplicity, Rankin cranking up the tension beautifully but refusing to play to his audience any more than strictly necessary, drip-feeding the thrills to maximum effect but delivering some harrowing action nonetheless. The cast are top-notch too, Jane delivering a typically subtle, nuanced turn while Treat Williams is likeably stoic as world-weary but dependable local Sherriff Tarsey, Rhada Mitchell intrigues as the matter-of-fact phantom of Zoe’s mum, Jennifer, that she’s concocted to help her through her mourning, Olly Sholotan is sweetly geeky as her best friend Lewis, and Eli Brown raises genuine goosebumps as an all-too-real teen psychopath in the role of terrorist ringleader Tristan Voy. The real beating heart and driving force of the film, though, is May, intense, barely restrained and all but vibrating with wounded fury, perfectly believable as the diminutive high school John McClane who defies expectations to become a genuine force to be reckoned with, as far as I’m concerned one of this year’s TOP female protagonists. Altogether this is a cracking little thriller, a precision-crafted little action gem that nonetheless raises some troubling questions and treats its subject matter with utmost care and respect, a film that’s destined for major cult classic status, and I can’t recommend it enough.

1. NOBODY – do you love the John Wick movies but you just wish they took themselves a bit less seriously? Well fear not, because Derek Kolstad has delivered fantastically on that score, the JW screenwriter mashing his original idea up with the basic premise of the Taken movies (former government spook/assassin turned unassuming family man is forced out of retirement and shit gets seriously trashed as a result) and injecting a big dollop of gallows humour. This time he’s teamed up with Ilya Naishuller, the stone-cold lunatic who directed the deliriously insane but also thoroughly brilliant Hardcore Henry, and the results are absolutely unbeatable, a pitch perfect jet black action comedy bursting with neat ideas, wonderfully offbeat characters and ingenious plot twists. Better Call Saul’s Bob Odenkirk is perfect casting as Hutch Mansell, the aforementioned ex-“Auditor”, a CIA hitman who grew weary of the lifestyle and quit to find some semblance of normality with his wife Becca (Connie Nielsen), with whom he’s had two kids. Ultimately, he seems to have “overcompensated”, and his life has stagnated, Hutch following a autopiloted day-to-day routine that’s left him increasingly unfulfilled … then fate intervenes and a series of impulsive choices see him falling back on his old ways while defending a young woman from drunken thugs on a late night bus ride. Problem is, said lowlifes work for the Russian Mob, specifically Yulian Kuznetsov (Leviathan’s Aleksei Serebryakov), a Bratva boss charged with guarding the Obshak, who must exact brutal vengeance in order to save face. Cue much bloody violence and entertaining chaos … Kolstad can do this sort of thing in his sleep, but his writing married with Naishuller’s singularly BONKERS vision means that the anarchy is dialled right up to eleven, while the gleefully dark sense of humour shot through makes the occasional surreality and bitingly satirical observation on offer all the more exquisite. Odenkirk is a low-key joy throughout, initially emasculated and pathetic but becoming more comfortable in his skin as he reconnects with his old self, while Serebryakov hams things up spectacularly, chewing the scenery with aplomb; Nielsen, meanwhile, brings her characteristic restrained classiness to proceedings, Christopher Lloyd and the RZA are clearly having the time of their lives as, respectively, Hutch’s retired FBI agent father David and fellow ex-spook half-brother Harry, and there’s a wonderfully game cameo from the incomparable Colin Salmon as Hutch’s former handler, the Barber. Altogether then, this is the perfect marriage of two fantastic worlds – an action-packed thrill ride as explosively impressive as John Wick, but also a wickedly subversive laugh riot every bit as blissfully inventive as Hardcore Henry, and undeniably THE BEST MOVIE I’ve seen so far this year. Sure, there’s some pretty heavyweight stuff set to (FINALLY) come out later this year, but this really will take some beating …

#movies 2021 #zack snyder's justice league #synchronic #synchronic movie #without remorse #raya and the last dragon #the mitchells vs the machines #pg psycho goreman #psycho goreman #space sweepers #judas and the black messiah #run hide fight #nobody #nobody movie

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pop-goes-the-sneasel · 4 years

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could u review stoutland!

Hmmmm, Stoutland!

Stoutland’s an intensely floofy dog, and that’s kind of about it. Like many Normal-types, it follows a design ethos of taking a real-life animal and turning it into a pokemon without any elemental twist or notable gimmick. Broadly, this tends to produce pokemon that are more conceptually boring than their non-Normal contemporaries, and Stoutland is unfortunately no exception. It’s kinda just a dog! That’s okay though. We like dogs!

And again, it��s a VERY floofy dog. That floof is its whole appeal, sporting a long fur coat that covers its entire body and complemented with an absurdly large moustache-like growth hanging from its face, with said moustache apparently determining social status amongst its species. Kinda like show dogs, I guess? Many of its dex entries discuss the protection its fur can provide in wintry conditions, with a talent for saving travelers lost in blizzards – a characteristic seemingly derived from popular portrayals of St. Bernards. Its ability, Sand Rush, interestingly increases speed in sandstorms, so I guess the fur helps with sand too. Beyond that, it’s said to be intelligent, valiant, and generally just an upstanding doggo overall. And you can ride it in Sun and Moon!!!!

As a design, it does a good job melding its floof aspect with actual behaviours and characteristics, even being said to be uncomfortable in Alola. As such, I’d say it’s a good design, for communicating what it intends to communicate – but it also isn’t super appealing, at least to me. The brown colour scheme feels rather plain, and whilst the moustache fits it well enough in this case, I’m generally not a fan of facial hair on pokemon. It’s definitely not bad, though; I just don’t really vibe with it myself.

Stoutland also got a pretty memorable anime appearance in the Sun and Moon series, as an elderly friend of not-yet-Ash’s Litten. Litten provided Stoutland with food and company, resulting in Ash’s decision not to catch Litten initially. They would meet a few more times, with Stoutland later collapsing and Litten seeking Ash for help. It turned out Stoutland was dying, and after a session of Stoutland trying to teach Litten Fire Fang, it fell asleep. Litten curled up with it after and fell asleep as well. Upon Litten waking, Stoutland was gone, nowhere to be found. ;w;

Shiny Stoutland’s unfortunately got a rather ugly goldenrod aesthetic going on, much warmer and more intense than the cool browns. It kinda looks like it got drenched in orange juice or something, which isn’t an appealing look.

Overall, Stoutland’s pretty good, even if I’m not personally into it. The concept is definitely solid despite not being terribly imaginative. And however “boring” Stoutland may seem, that doesn’t detract from its core appeal. It’s a big, floofy dog, even known officially as the “Big-Hearted Pokemon”, and that’s all it needs to be! It’s just SUCH an upstanding doggo!!!

And you can ride it!!!! Hell yeah!!!!!!!/10

#pokemon #pokemon reviews #pkmn #swsh #stoutland #lillipup #herdier #normal type #unova #gen 5 #Anonymous

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agentnico · 2 years

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Marry Me (2022) Review

How did I end up watching this?...

Plot: Pop superstar Kat Valdez is about to get married before an audience of her loyal fans. However, seconds before the ceremony, she learns about her fiance's cheating ways and has a meltdown on stage. In a moment of inspired insanity, Kat locks eyes with a total stranger in the crowd and marries him on the spot. As forces conspire to separate the unlikely newlyweds, they must soon decide if two people from such different worlds can find true love together.

Okay, so I would never purposefully myself go and watch this kind of film. This is very much me gaining fiancée points and watching something my second half demanded to see on Valentine’s Day. Would it be up to me we’d be going to go see Poirot scratch his overly grand moustache over the mystery of how to hide celebrity-cannibal Armie Hammer from us whilst he tries to solve a death on the Nile, but Valentine’s Day is a day of sacrifice and I have now done my one good deed of the year - we watched Marry Me. Did my fiancée like it? Of course she did! She’s a sucker for cheesy romantic comedies and this movie feels like it came straight from the 2000s when that genre was especially prevalent. In some ways this thing reminded me of the movies of Richard Curtis like Notting Hill and Love Actually. Naturally it’s nowhere as good as those movies, even though those aren’t my cup of tea either (what can I say, my heart is made of cold granite stone), but nevertheless if you’re into those cringe fest romances then Marry Me shall do that trick for you. It’s got a ridiculous set up (based on a graphic novel of all things!!) that is followed by Lopez and Wilson being forced to get together only to discover that there is a love between them that they simply cannot hide and then momentarily Lopez considers if she wants to go back to her ex because she is evidently stupid but don’t worry, not a moment will pass and she will be back with my man Owen Wilson and there love will be stronger than ever and they are gonna hold hands and kiss and.....ugh, I think I just vomited in my mouth a little. I mean, yes, me and my fiancée are very gushy and romantic ourselves but when I see others like that I am hypocritically disgusted by it!

Is this a good movie, you may ask? Hard no. Hell no! Undoubtedly no!! This is a very predictable movie with zero surprises and mediocre performances, a very weak script and most lacklustre filmmaking. But wait, am I being too harsh on this film? Does it really deserve the hate from me? It’s only trying to be a cute little romantic fix for couples to enjoy all around the world! Should I simply allow Marry Me to embrace me with all its countless cringeworthy moments and cookie cutter dialogue?... Hell no, screw Marry Me! I’d rather watch Divorce Me instead!! Is Owen Wilson as adorable in this as ever? You damn right he is!! Did I at least enjoy the movie a little bit? Maybe!! Will I ever admit to it? You damn right I won’t!! Do I still love my fiancée to bits?? Undoubtedly and forever!! Ugh...too much cringe!! Make it stop!! Get me outta here!! Also - the film’s soundtrack sucks, the end!

Overall score: 5/10

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jocia92 · 3 years

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I went to see Blithe Spirit on New Year’s Day, for Dan Stevens reasons of course. This was the second time since I first saw it a couple of weeks ago with my mum. The theatre we like to go to had preview screenings and she's happy to go with me to see Dan (this kind of movie is not something my friends are interested in haha, not that I asked them to be fair). We went to see the Call of the Wild earlier this year as well. She and I watched the first two seasons of Downton Abbey on DVD together back in the day and she’s kind of a fan of his too. I thought I’d take the opportunity to see Dan on the big screen again while I can, because some of his films don’t even get released in theatres in my country. We’re very privileged to be covid free in the community here, so it’s safe to go to the movies.

Mum enjoyed Blithe Spirit and her verdict on Dan was that he was 'amazing'. She said she liked him better in this than in Eurovision. I love Lemtov too much to necessarily agree with that but Dan was fantastic as usual playing a ‘fool’, as he described Charles. He’s not the most sympathetic character on the face of it, but fun and compelling to watch as Dan plays him. He’s just good at comedy and he did a great job with the physical stuff especially. This is definitely my favourite performance of the 3 ‘moustache movies’ (please no more moustaches for a while, or ever!) he’s done recently. It helps that Dan has so much more to do in this one than the other two so yay for that. Also on a shallow note his blue eyes really pop in this one. “Wow his eyes really are very blue” said mum haha.

The movie itself is entertaining but not brilliant. It's a light silly distraction and more amusing than laugh out loud funny. The costumes are really beautiful though! It was quite different from the 1945 adaptation, which I enjoyed but didn’t laugh out loud at either. I haven't seen or read the play but it seems like there’s not much of the original dialogue left in this version? I think fans of Noel Coward might not like it because of that. There’s definitely a broader comedic approach, with a lot more physical comedy as opposed to witty back and forths, compared with the 1945 film at least. And they’ve changed some character/plot stuff too.

Dame Judi Dench as Madame Arcati was actually the weakest part of the movie for me. It’s not that she was bad exactly. but this version of the character was kind of boring and lacked a spark. That’s a contrast to the earlier film where I thought that Madame Arcati was definitely the highlight. This time I enjoyed the various interactions between Charles, Ruth and Elvira the best. I thought Isla Fisher as Ruth particularly did a great job and she was the most sympathetic character for me. But all 3 did well and seemed to be having fun.

On a random note I enjoyed hearing the characters talk about the astral plane and psychic delusions and thinking of Legion. This is just another reality that David Haller has created, and there were definitely moments that reminded me of him. Could have done without one mental illness related scene though. Also, Dan on a bike is like a Matthew Crawley throwback which is fun! Overall, I think the movie is worth watching and I enjoyed it.

#blithe spirit #charles condomine #dan stevens #my thoughts

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

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WWE Wrestlemania 37 Day 1 - Review

Big Card, Not so big build

But it is that time of the year, we Stood, we Delivered, and now we shall Showcase for the Grandest Stage of them All

I got hyped for it by watching Bret vs Owen so I do have expectations, I haven't been spoiled too much save for the Main Event and the fact that there was storms that delayed the event, I dunno if they cut that content but we shall see Note: I am gonna bold who I predicted to win per match as well just to show how right/wrong I was

Spoilers for Wrestlemania Night 1, You Have Been Warned

Pre-Show The opening panel was not so great; Booker (with a captain Hook moustache), JBL, Lawler and Rosenberg, bunch of contrarian drivel really and trying to make Braun/Shane out like it deserves on the card just doesn't sit with me, that match robbed a potential Father/Son Tag Title Victory for the Mysterios (I know the Dirty Dawgs won on SD but I feel like they wouldn't have retained if it were Mania). Most of the promo packages were good at the least since they can cut out all the shoddy booking decisions and act like some stars were underbooked over the past year. I will say though, selling BelAir and Banks as 'the first time a women's singles match has main evented Wrestlemania' is a bit of a slight on the triple threat - which would've been 1v1 if Vinny didn't want to be adamant in adding more feathers to Charlotte's peahen plumage - it was still a singles match, sometimes WWE's desire for 'first time evers' are a bit insufferable. Also this is not 'the most important match of Cesaro's career', that is a terrible thing to say about a non-title match revolving around Rollins feeling embarrassed. The Hall of Fame recap was a mixed bag as well, mainly because I disagreed with some of the inductions and the way they tried to sell them bigger than what they are, but I was glad for some - Liger, Bulldog, Molly Holly, Kane...still waiting on Lillian and Andy Kaufman to get inducted though. Sonya also popped up to promote the tag turmoil and retreading the main event, she was super natural and should've been on the whole panel, or in the ring. Sonya's talents are wasted right now.

No Match though! An Hour of Recap lacked any entertainment seeing as we'd see all these promo packages again on the main card. So overall this was entirely skippable.

Main Card...Delayed Vince opened the event to address the crowd, which was kinda nice actually. It was a much more inclusive introduction than just having someone singing America the Beautifu-oh they're still doing tha-boooooooobs! It's also kinda weird looking at the roster not even on the card on the stage, like this is their only contribution for the entire year...

The intro package was a big obnoxious too, dude does an okay Jack Sparrow accent but it kinda went on a bit long, 10 minutes into the main show and there's no wrestling y'know?

Byron out with a super white suit as well, looking like Liberace as weather warnings echoed the arena, with news that it'll be worse tomorrow I hope that arena has a roof. With the delay WWE pulled with interviews, Big E even showed up to join his New Day buddies. Cole's 'Wrestlerainia' did not land and Braun saying 'I'm fighting for everyone whose been bullied' doesn't land either, we had this story with Nia and Alexa years ago. I also hate 'Herstory', like the literal word I hate it, History has adapted well beyond gender. Sure, it evolved from the Greek Histor which means 'wise' or 'a learned man' but the His is not the agent noun, the Tor is, and it's a gender neutral noun, if it were a Latin root then it'd be masculine but its root is Ancient Greek - there's your Etymology lesson for tonight.

The irony though, the moment fans get back in the arena they have to come back out because of rain.

Main Card - This Time Around Titus and Hulk came out as hosts to ramp up the crowd, it was kinda uncomfortable in context really, plus we don't need a third rundown of the card. Reminder that those in bold was who I earlier predicted to win.

WWE Championship - Bobby Lashley [w/MVP] (c) def. Drew McIntyre (Ref Stoppage Submission via Hurt Lock) Starting hot with the World title match again, bit odd to see Lashley do his point pose on the ramp and no pyro, but both men fixed their eyes on each other and barely looked away. Their history goes beyond WWE after all, not that the commentary would tell you. The did come out with a ton of falsities though, I know the WWE Championship was at several times the most prestigious belt in wrestling but not all the time in that 60 years, Big Gold Belt, IWGP and 10 Pounds of Gold had times too, AEW also can tout that, but Cole's most baffling claim was that you'd need to win it to be a Hall of Famer - on the same year Bulldog who never won a world title was inducted. No quick draw like last year, the match started with some meat slapping, Drew even gesturing a fuck you with the Bras d'honneur to Lashley after knocking him down. Both men would trade blows and advantage, Drew almost locking an armbreaker but Lashley clubbing free - very weird camera cutting there. Lashley hit 2 throws and a neckbreaker to regain the advantage, he didn't get the Futureshock but he hit a nice Northern Lights Suplex. Lashley hit his newer version of the Dominator and an Uranage but both only kept Drew down for 2, he almost got the Hurt Lock as Drew fought back with some blows and a front-facing Alabama Slam, he tried a superplex but Lashley fought out, tried a kimura but got knocked down, so he went for the Tree of Woe throw he does. Lashley gets him with another Uranage but Drew kips up, belly to belly, Futureshock, Futureshock, Futureshock! 1, 2, No! Drew calls for the Claymore but Lashley rolls out, MVP coming late, Drew then does a Tope onto both. He goes up top but almost gets caught with the Hurt Lock, an Exploder and a Flatliner puts Lashley in the driver's seat, he tries for the Hurt Lock again but is driven into the Turnbuckle, Drew then locks in the Kimura but Lashley gets to the ropes. After trading shots Lashley lands into a boot and a headbutt, Drew looks for the Claymore but MVP shouts to distract him, allowing Lashley to dodge and get the Hurt Lock in, Drew tried to fight back, tried to roll out of it by kicking the turnbuckle but Lashley cinched it in tight, fading, fading, and the ref calls the bell.

A very good opener this one, big men slapping meat can hardly go wrong. Not too many false finishes either and MVP only psyches Drew out rather than got fully involved. It was right for Drew to fade rather than tap too. First prediction wins, I did think it was a risk but I expected it because WWE had sold the idea that they wanted Drew to win in front of a crowd, but he had held the title for most of the year, so I anticipated the swerve. Still, we didn't have to break up the Hurt Business for this, hopefully Lashley gets more time to shine.

As Lashley celebrated with some strange camera switching we moved to Titus, the NWO and a Bayley segment. Bayley trying to sell her Ding Dong Hello and being denied some Two Sweets, a huge waste of Bayley's talents especially with the year she has had.

Tag Team Turmoil for a shot at the WWE Women's Tag Championship on Night 2 - Natalya & Tamina def. Naomi & Lana, the Riott Squad [Liv Morgan & Ruby Riott], Billie Kay & Carmella and Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose (pinfall by Tamina on Ruby Riott via Superfly Splash) Props to Billie Kay selling the lack of cohesion in her and Carmella's entrance as they started the match against Lana & Naomi. Naomi started with the advantage but it was traded to Carmella when Lana was tagged in, then to Billie, then back to Naomi. A double facebuster flattens Billie but Carmella breaks the pin, after Carmella throws Lana out Billie rolls up Naomi - who is also strengthened by Carmella lying on the floor but using her feet to keep Billie up right - for 3, eliminating that team. Naomi is not happy, as she should be that was a huge waste, as the Riott Squad come in. Sporting Suicide Squad Joker (Ruby) & Harley (Liv) outfits, the Riott Squad start hot but are foiled by Carmella's tag. Liv is the feeder to Carmella and Billie's combos, they try the same rollup trick but they are caught by the ref, Carmella's dumped allowing Liv to hit a codebreaker and hold Billie down for Ruby's senton for the 3, the two embrace but Carmella superkicks Liv as Dana & Manda arrive in pink, Mandy humorously slipping on the ramp did not go unmissed. With Liv taken out Ruby tried to fight alone, Dana hits a top rope blockbuster but Liv comes back to break the pin. Dana hits a spinning neckbreaker and tags Mandy in, a pin for 2 by Ruby opens the door for Liv to be tagged in, a Codebreaker/Riott Kick combo lands but the pin is broken by Dana. Cole accidentally calls Mandy 'Dana' as she rallies, Dana comes back to dump Ruby out as they land the Superplex/Swanton combo on Liv, Mandy pulls Ruby from making the save but Liv reverses the pin for 3. The announcer then wrongly says that the Riott Squad were eliminated and has to be corrected, making you think this wasn't the plan. Natalya and Tamina pick up the scraps, Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but gets rolled up for 2, she drops Liv onto the ropes and tags Tamina in. Natalya hits a powerbomb but Ruby breaks the pin before being dumped out by Tamina again. Liv fights both women enough for Ruby to tag in, an assisted spear on Tamina leads to the Codebreaker/Senton combo but it hits for 2. They set up the Codebreaker/Riott Kick but Tamina yanks Riott away and superkicks Liv. Natalya returns to hit the Hart Attack on Ruby, looks to set up the Sharpshooter but instead tells Tamina to take point, Superfly Splash gets the win. The champions look on on a monitor at their opponents.

A bit of a mixed bag this one, the wrestling was clean but I think external botching brought it down, as well as questionable booking decisions. Naomi is a multi-time champion she should not be pinned so quickly. I did again correctly predict Nattie and Tamina, but I personally wanted the Riott Squad to win, it was the Heyman dressing down that motivated me to pick the Daughter Combo - also weird that they acknowledge Tamina's heritage given what Superfly did. The Riotts at least got a great showing, the finish took a bit of a long time considering that all Liv took from them was a superkick and was out for 2 minutes, hopefully this'll inspire booking to push them which is well overdue. As for Tamina and Natalya, heel vs heel is a tough one, they didn't look like babyfaces here and while I do have them to win the titles this was not a good look for their chances.

Cesaro def. Seth Rollins (pinfall via Neutralizer) Seth entered the ring with a homage to the Andre OBEY print on his tights, followed by his Cesaro smear ad, then Cesaro in a weird choice of just a black jacket as well as black and yellow tights similar to his Wrestlemania XXX attire.

Cesaro starts with a huge uppercut and setting up the Swing, but Seth wriggles out, tries a big boot but Cesaro hits the Dragon Screw and tries for the swing again, but fails again. Cesaro gets a corkscrew springboard uppercut but Seth hurts his arm on the ropes, he gets an uppercut as Seth climbs on the turnbuckle but he kinda didn't get all of it. Going for an Avalanche Gutwrench Suplex, Seth rolls out into a Buckle Bomb for 2, Seth then preys on the arm, Cesaro's arm prevents a rally as Seth hits the Superplex/Falcon Arrow combo for 2. Cesaro flurries with uppercuts, he tries the swing but Rollins keeps countering, first a rollup then going to ropes followed by an Enzugiri, when he tries the Stomp though Cesaro gets the swing, 9 spins causes the arm to give way but he locks in the Sharpshooter (probably why Natalya couldn't/wouldn't do it last match), Rollins gets to the ropes and powers out of the Neutralizer, knee strike and a sling blade sets up for a Corkscrew Frog Splash for 2. Seth sets up the Ripcord Knee but gets lifted into a Neutralizer! 1, 2, No! (Commentary saying again 'and now Cesaro begins to doubt himself), Cesaro tries it again but lands into a Pedigree! 1, 2, No!

Seth gloats surviving both of Cesaro's big moves, clubbing the back of Cesaro's head with his hand and then his leg as he prepares a stomp, Cesaro then hits the uppercut, UFO! Gestures for the Swing and gets it! 23 Rotations, Neutralizer, 3!

That's what I'm talking about! Indy Darling match with some great spots, good crowd involvement and a proper babyface win. Cesaro thanks the crowd as they cheer him on, Seth did show some great creativity which I kinda hoped Cesaro would but it was a small thing in otherwise a great match. I guessed with my heart on this one unlike the Tag Team Turmoil, because of my Universal Title plans really, Cesaro has been given the chance to earn the push we all know he deserves and he's took it, now we can push him further.

Post-match they recapped the AMBR and 4-Way, bit off to say 'Veteran Experience pays off' when Rey was the most experienced of them all, also the 4-Way should've been on the mania card and the tag turmoil on SD. They interviewed the Dirty Dawgs to talk the Raw Tag titles, which was a bit rough to see, it's clear what the pecking order is in Vince's mind.

Raw Tag Championships - AJ Styles & Omos def. New Day [Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston] (c) (pinfall by Omos on Kofi via Double-Handed Chokeslam TITLE CHANGE) Annoyingly the Champions came out first, but they were introduced by Big E, a Fusion Dance hologram graphic paired with their entrance as they came out in Red to rep the Tampa Bay Bucs in what would've been their 2020 attire, cheekily the 2020's last 0 was scribbled out and a 1 added. Blue trumpet though, couldn't recolour that. AJ and Omos came together too but no matching attire, Omos looked like he was going for dinner. AJ also looked like he stumbled a bit at the start.

Kofi goaded AJ into starting the match rather than Omos, leading to some liquid sequences from both former WWE Champions, each respectively rolling out of an SOS and Calf Crusher. After a back body drop Kofi stared down an unimpressed Omos, then twerked which hurt my soul. Kinda heelishly, Xavier tripped up AJ when a throat chop gave him a reprieve, leading to them keeping AJ in the corner, including the Unicorn Stomp as Omos continued to look unimpressed. Against Xavier AJ tried to drag him to his corner, but cannot get to Omos' halfhearted reaching. A team bulldog only gets 1 though. Kofi then continues to block the corner so AJ goes out of the ring to run around, only to be intercepted by Xavier. AJ continues to try and get to Omos, even being flattened by a splash by Kofi, when setting up their finisher though AJ elbows Kofi away, a visual exchange between the now free AJ and the top-turnbuckle Xavier preludes AJ finally tagging in Omos, Xavier frightened as Omos finally has a smile on his face. The 7'3 giant no sells Xavier's and Kofi's offense, charging into both on either turnbuckle, then a backbreaker to both. AJ then jumped over Omos to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to deal with Woods, Omos hit a two-handed chokeslam then pinned Kofi with one foot for the titles.

I didn't like this match's narrative, the wrestling was fine but the story wasn't done so well. For one, New Day acted more like the heels by bullying AJ and keeping him cornered, for second, Omos didn't really 'wrestle' he just no sold and did 3 safe moves and third, New Day are 11 time tag champions, Kofi a former world champion and they pinned him like that. Disrespect. The fact that the SD Tag Titles are second fiddle to a match where it's just AJ Styles plus the Great Khali, and that's Raw's Division right now, Two Thirds of New Day and this mismatch. This only highlights the severe lack of depth and WWE's booking hypocrisy. Next time you read about a 5 foot something wrestler not getting a title or a push because they're 'too green' or 'can't talk' remember that Omos won the tag titles on his debut match after doing a backbreaker, a turnbuckle tackle and a double handed chokeslam.

Humorous though is that WWE cut to a cringy Corbin ad break just as AJ was falling off of Omos' shoulders, I saw that WWE. We also cut to Sasha preparing for the match as the cage began to lower.

Steel Cage Match - Braun Strowman def. Shane McMahon (pinfall via Running Powerslam) The apathy for this match remains high considering that Shane showed up a couple months ago to steal a card slot from someone who could've been wrestling all year. Shane enters in his usual way, Braun with blinding fog and a train sound effect, cringy commentary as well as Shane keeps the door shut. Elias and Ryker soften Braun with chairs, attacking the legs and gifting Shane a chair who unloads on his grounded opponent. Once he feels he's done enough he tries to leave by the door, but Braun pulls him away, he tries to climb over the cage but gets pulled away, Braun declaring that he won't escape. Shane does his tacky jabs dodging Braun's wide swings, he tries to climb out again but Braun grabs him, but there's a planted piece of sheet metal that he uses as a weapon. After a 1 count Shane tried to escape through the door but fails, Braun decides to throw Shane into the cage walls, opening Shane to be struck by his blows and sandwiched between the cage walls, the leg gives out before the powerslam allowing Shane to ram Braun into the cage wall and DDT him, Coast to Coast gets 2 and Elias and Ryker climb the cage, hoping to pull Shane over, but Braun tackles the cage wall to knock everyone off. Shane makes the climb again but Braun is gripping onto him, bags are planted on the corners of the cage as Shane cracks Braun with a toolbox, as Shane celebrates he gets his leg over, he waves his hand through the cage at Braun but he grabs it, peeling off the cage wall to pull Shane back inside. Braun considers leaving but pulls Shane to the top of the cage, throwing Shane to the ring floor. Braun shouts at Shane, hits the running powerslam for 3.

It's good to be wrong here, though when I predicted Shane to win it was more a Pyrrhic win like being sent through a cage wall - because the build had Braun foolishly act like cage matches never have interference. This was a match, Shane planting weapons and using Elias and Ryker to prove himself 'smart' and Braun just powers out of it, the ripping the cage wall to drag Shane back in was a good spot - if not overly convenient since Shane could've dropped and gloated after - but it didn't need to be Wrestlemania.

Bayley comes back this time to the announcers table, bullying Cole out of his seat, but she's made to look stupid since Byron of all people tell her that they're waiting for the Hall of Famers, the HOF package happens again and the inductees able to attend appear on the stage, graphics of those who couldn't on the screen, NWO get their own entrance though with the NWO-painted Big Gold belt, bit unnecessary really they have enough spotlight.

Stone Cold announces the next mania in Texas in the AT&T Stadium, Booker then joins the announcer's table.

Bad Bunny & Damian Priest def. Miz and John Morrison (Pinfall by Bad Bunny on Miz via Crossbody/Electric Chair combo) A bunch of men dressed as bunnies hop into the ring before Miz and Morrison lipsync their diss track entrance. After the promo package Damian Priest makes his entrance, wearing the HBK Bondage shirt and sporting the purple, Bad Bunny appears atop of a Monster Truck in a pre-recorded segment with a lot of camera cuts, leading into the live version, looking like Rufus from Bill and Ted.

Miz and Morrison goad Bad Bunny to start the match so Priest tags him in, Miz mocks Bunny for a free shot and gets floored with a blow, waistlock and another punch, after a brief flurry Miz slows Bunny down but then gets caught with an arm drag, a toehold and a roll up for 2. Morrison attempts to snap Miz out of his frustration, but every offense he gets Bad Bunny comes back, this time with a spinning headscissors. Morrison's tagged in but gets headbutted, a 'bunny hop' jumping elbow, Miz's cheap shot leads to some heat feeding as Miz does some mocking bunny hops. He rolls over Miz for 2 but gets flattened with a boot, Morrison punishes Bunny on the announcer's table who then does a Spinaroonie while they continue to punish Bunny and incite Priest. Bunny gets a tornado DDT to open up the Hot Tag who cleans up house with strikes - more annoying camera cuts though. Chokeslam only gets 2 because Morrison breaks the count, Bunny comes in and both men hit stereo Falcon Arrows, both for 2, Priest does a tope, Bunny crossbodies from the top corner. Priest sets up his finish but gets caught with a Skull Crushing Finale, 1, 2, Bunny breaks the pin. Back into his corner Morrison tries to keep Bunny from being tagged, but Bunny hits a Canadian Destroyer onto Morrison on the outside of the ring, Miz and Priest awestruck. Priest sets up the Electric Chair, Bunny crossbodies and that's 3.

I may not know who Bad Bunny is, or particularly like his music, but he definitely meets the standards of the work celebrity guests should put in if they wanna be booked for a match. Bad Bunny did far much more spots than Omos, granted his punches flooring Miz was a bit unbelievable but overall he shone in an entertaining match, I feel bad for Miz and Morrison really, Miz was WWE champion about a month ago for a week and Morrison left at the top of Impact and AAA to come back for this? Maybe if he pairs up with his wife he'll get the booking he deserves. Also don't really know why Booker needed to be there on the announcer's table, aside from one mock spot and a GI Bro mention he didn't influence the match at all

SD Women's Championship - Bianca BelAir def. Sasha Banks (c) (Pinfall via KOD TITLE CHANGE!) And so comes the Main Event, the Royal Rumble winner comes out a sparkly EST outfit with tassels, Sasha with a black and neon green attire that definitely stood out. More shoddy camera cutting though kinda upset the flow of the entrance.

On Pre-Show - 'These two are in the Main Event regardless of Race, Regardless of Gender' On Main Event - 'For the first time two black women are having a title match on the main event at Wrestlemania' ...poor form WWE. Especially since you followed this with a Snickers plug.

The Bell rings as there are close ups on an emotional Bianca, duelling chants from the crowd as Sasha overpowers BelAir, leading her to kip up and get her own advantage, almost landing the KOD early. BelAir's power catches most of Banks' assault so she opts for counter-wrestling, she looks to count BelAir out but then decides for a Suicide Dive, but BelAir catches her and presses her back up the stairs and into the ring. Dropkick by Sasha gets 2, Bianca hits a powerslam but her handspring moonsault is blocked by Sasha yanking at the hair, using it as leverage to drive her knee into BelAir's head, Shining Wizard only gets 2. When Banks tries the knees in the corner she's planted with an Uranage, she tries to yank Bianca's hair into the corner post but Bianca powers her into it instead, a barricade crossbody also misses but the count is up to 6, both women roll in, BelAir uses an inside cradle to momentum herself up to a Vertical Suplex position, she slingshots 2 of the sides but Banks struggles, Bianca powers her back up but Sasha struggles again, BelAir powers again and lands the suplex but it takes a lot out of her. After clotheslining Sasha who was pulling on her hair, BelAir flurries with strikes and a running shooting star, Glam Slam hits but Sasha gets the knees up for the 450. The two trade pins and BelAir hits the Powerbomb for 2, she tries again but Sasha goes for a facebuster, Double Rotation Tornado DDT gets 2 for Sasha, a clunky Frog Splash which might've been a Meteora that Bianca was out of position for hits BelAir but only has 2, Sasha starts getting frustrated and goes for the arm, snaps it against the ropes then throws BelAir into the steps, she goes for the Bank Statement, wrapping Bianca's hair around her arm for added leverage, she tries to rebound off the ropes but Bianca rolls back to rope break, Sasha yanks the hair between the rope and stomps on her hair in frustration but this gets Bianca angry, she sets up a Superplex but is thrown off, she tries what looks like a Stratusfaction but gets locked into a Tree of Woe double stomp, Bianca avoids it and the running knee strike, landing the 450! 1, 2, No! Bianca freaks out, she was so sure that was it, but now the anger sets in, KOD set up but Sasha pulls the hair to right herself, Bianca cracks Sasha with her hair and tries again, but Sasha wriggles to try a Backstabber, Bianca escapes that, spins her around and lands the KOD, 1, 2, E.S.T.

A really good match from both women, met with a great ovation for Bianca. The match liked to prey on Bianca's hair a lot which may've been a little overdone, I would've liked to have seen it get a bit more than 18 minutes too. I predicted Sasha because I think Rhea's winning hers (I still do) and Sasha has once again yet to have a major Wrestlemania win, but I'm certainly not unhappy with BelAir - she put on a great performance here, especially with the fact that she fumbled her NXT Women's Title match against Baszler earlier, showing a lot more maturity and a strong face character to get behind. WWE should not have overdid the booking on this in the build but for the night, it is Bianca's night to close day one of WrESTlemania.

Conclusion NXT Stand and Deliver set a high bar for Wrestlemania to pull off, and for Night 1 at least I believe they definitely met it. There were a few downs, shoddy camerawork, non-wrestling botching and heavy mistreatment for Naomi, Bayley and the New Day but on the other hand we had great matches out of Cesaro, Bad Bunny and the other title matches including the main event, aside from the tag turmoil I'm not upset with the winners. Becky teased us with appearing before the show but it seems like it was a fakeout, was kinda hoping she'd be back but maybe it'll be Night 2

We will only find out on the night though, and there's a lot more to look forward to.

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that-banana-headed-bovine · 4 years

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Season 2 Shenanigans

AHEYYY sO I went on a giant Knight Rider binge the last few days, and I've FINALLY seen all of Season 2!! Big thank you to @trust-doesnt-oxidize who watched with me and stayed up absurdly late because I wanted to see Garthe before I went to bed AIDBWJFNEM

I just wanted to post a quick reaction to all of the episodes, spoiler warning activated!

Goliath Parts 1 & 2

I LOVE MY DOOFY VILLAIN SON. K.I.T.T. is HILARIOUS, I love his dynamic with Goliath, as is evident by my handle oops- I hate how Season 2 starts with my son almost dying tho, almost had a heart attack tyvm! This is back before I knew anything about the direction of the rest of the series so I was legitimately in shock lmbo- Moustache Michael is a gem tho I love him. I SURE HOPE HE STAYS A DUMB VILLAIN WHO'S JUST REALLY SILLY TO WATCH. SURE HOPE THEY DON'T TAKE HIM TOO SERIOUSLY.

Brother's Keeper - Blind Spot

I- forgot that these episodes existed until I looked at the episode list for this, soooo...

I should really not be lazy and look up an episode summary and try to remember what I thought of these but the problem is that I am in fact going to be lazy because this post is already taking so long

Return to Cadiz

This episode is so,,, frustrating. Not the plot or the format or anything like that, nono... I mean how they essentially introduced April. Like, okay, I know that she has been here since the beginning of Season 2, but she hadn’t really said much up until now. This was where we really got to know who she would be, and, uh... After this episode, I absolutely hated her. Despised even. She forces my son to go drive on the same ocean on the same beach where Karr DIED without any testing beforehand AND is chastising Michael in a flirtatious way. The heCK is this woman?! WHERE’S MY BONNIE???!!! I was so mad at her you guys I. But the thing is, I don’t hate April, not by a long shot. In some ways, the rest of Season 2 does a better job giving her a character than all of Season 1 did for Bonnie! I really enjoyed April and wish that both could have stayed. BUT THIS EPISODE makes her SO HATEABLE and I just ugh.

also I tried to watch this a long time before I got to and after seeing the intro and not knowing the title of K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. at that point in time, I thought Karr was gonna come back based on all the panoramic shots of the underwater and I am so sad that he didn’t so oops this episode gets my wrath a bit

K.I.T.T. the Cat

0/10 there are no cats. False advertising.

Seriously tho this episode was a pretty run of the mill episode. The best part of the episode was Kitt, because it always is, but seriously that guy with the hedges was amazing- I GOT THE GAG BY THE THIRD TIME IT HAPPENED BUT THE FIRST TIME HE GOT STUCK IN THE TREE OH MY GOSH I WAS DY I N G- Also the fact that Kitt messed him up again trying to apologize is so sad yet funny ahosihdfiohasdf

Custom K.I.T.T.

APRIL GET THAT STUPID DECAL OFF HIM OH MY G O S H-

Somehow her 2-d design ideas looked almost worse than the actual thing and I thought the actual thing looked like a that default sticker decal that you get on a Hotwheels car. I’msorryI’mnottryingtoroastanyartistsIjust I why there’s so much potential with giving Kitt decals :(

Seriously I want to use my drawing software to draw fire on Kitt at some point because it could be done so cool and that ain’t it chief. I’m probably not going to be too great at it either since I don’t do backgrounds nearly enough and fire would be a background element for the most part but I could at least alter the colors ; m ; OR LIGHTNING OH MY GOSH AAA LIGHTNING WOULD BE SO COO L ON HIM- anyway it needed so much more red- and it was so asymmetrical too aHHHH-

I. I’m fine it’s fine I’m fine it’s fi-

I don’t even know why Kitt needed a decal anyway, the other cars didn’t have to have decals to be considered custom, surely his dash alone could have done it-

ANYWAY

This ep was so WEIRD at times oh my gosh. What was that series of insults the two ladies spat at each other? Like the one just complimented her eyeshadow aggressively and the other one accused her of wearing “training bras” or something like whAT EXCU S E ME What is this episode?! Kitt was so upset about the decal too :[

Soul Survivor

OH MY GOSH IT’S CUTE IT’S SO CUTE YOU GUYS-

I was recalling @knight-rider-fan-2000‘s theory about this episode (plz go check them out btw aaaa), and after watching it I totally agree. Michael was especially kind in this episode, and he seems to be overall a more supportive mentor for Kitt this season, starting with Soul Survivor and being pretty consistent throughout. I love their new dynamic so much- There’s definitely still episodes and moments where he’s closer to Season 1 Michael, but Season 2 Michael is a far superior human being in my opinion.

KITT’S SO ADORABLE LIL TINY CPU OH MY G O S H YOU’RE TELLING ME OUR SON IS ACTUALLY T H A T SMALL AAAAA

Michael really is so sweet in this oh my gosh, that whole arc where Kitt is his partner no matter what and that the car isn’t what made Kitt-- AW!!!! ADORABLE! Kitt being so unsure that he repeatedly asks Michael how it feels to see the Knight 2000 without him in it or fusses about his limited functionality as Michael patiently reassures him again and again that he’s wanted just the way he is, I just- Feelings.

One thing that hit me as funny though is when Michael finds Kitt’s CPU in the garage and the trash can is just like PULSATING and then he like yells at it like “tAlK tO mE kItT” and Kitt’s jus sitting there as a box of colored lights like “...”

I can just imagine a cut scene where Kitt’s like, “Oh and by the way Michael, if I could have said something I would have done so LONG before you started asking me to. Believe it or not, I don’t like being in a trash can.”

“You Dingaling.”

Also Michael and his whole “I’m an honest man you can trust me listen I’ll give you a small TV just like this one” and then he proceeded to not do that. Hmm.

Anyway, yeah, it doesn’t get any cuter than this. The only thing that would have been better is if Adrianne didn’t exist. Good thing she’s gone now~!

Ring of Fire

THIS IS SO TRIPPY THIS EPISODE IS SO TRIPPY

I would say that I hate Michael trying to get Kitt to subject himself to testing if he can withstand insane levels of heat. I would say that if April did not then walk in and karma the crap out of him. Gosh I loved it. How he immediately was like whAT NOOO YOU WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE DO THAT and Kitt’s just like :/

dang hypocrite, Michael my feelings towards you are so complicated sometimes

anyway

So. Many. Dogs. I usually love seeing Kitt interact with dogs but this started to get unsettling, I can’t blame him for not loving 6 different dogs all swarming him at once whAT- Have they nothing better to do than to jump on my son. What the heck language were those banjo players singing in? Was it a language or was it just gibberish keyboard spam that accidentally made it to the final script AOSHDIAOHSD

This whole swamp setting is really unique to this episode, and part of me really does commend the chance they took by switching up settings. It’s almost always a small town on desert roads. The way this all happened though was??? What?

I think the scriptwriters forgot that Return to Cadiz exists because Kitt got so much water damage AHSIDHAOISDH- I know April said the system was damaged but surely it would have minimized this a little bit. Also did literally anything change by the end of this episode? We didn’t see the guy get arrested, did we? And the girl decided to stay living out in the swamp forest thing. The only thing is that she, like, conquered her fear or something? Even though she still isn’t acting in that direction?

This episode didn’t actually d o anything did it LOL

alsowhatevenwasthatexplosion

It’s not a bad episode though, just really bizarre.

Knightmares

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID ABOUT IT NOT GETTING ANY CUTER?

I WAS WRONG.

THIS EPISODE this episode THIS EPISODE. TOP TWO MATERIAL? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK. TDR will always be my fav until the end of time I’m pretty sure because I don’t think another episode will get me to ugly sob like that (aLTHOUGH I AM MEGA HYPE HERE BECAUSE I WATCHED KvK AND IT WAS GOOD ALSO BUT WE’LL GET TO TH A T LATER) but in terms of sheer adorable buddies happiness this is the winner by all accounts. I really like how they portray Michael Long, and I genuinely think the arc here has an impact on the rest of the season in terms of how Michael treats Kitt.

I love how Michael had told Kitt a long time ago how they were partners, like how he used to have a partner when he was a police officer, and how now when Long is so confused about everything everyone is trying to tell him, Kitt chooses this specific word to help introduce himself, and everything feels a bit more grounded for Long. I love how Long immediately revolts against the way Devon and April try to tell him he’s wrong about who he is currently, which is, despite good intentions, the opposite of what he needs. I love how Kitt then swoops in behind him and decides to treat Michael Long like a WHOLE NEW PERSON, one who Kitt tries to get to know. I love how Long recognizes just how hard Kitt is trying and genuinely opens up to him. I love how he never reverts to being mean or rude to Kitt after he gets in the car the second time, NOT EVEN ONE sarcastic comment. How he never calls him a computer again after Kitt asks him not to, how he compliments his new partner left and right, how despite having no clue who Knight is he really wants to be that person for Kitt, because Kitt seems sincere and pretty great. I adore that bit where Kitt gently, lovingly lists traits good and bad about Knight and how Long can finally connect to this other version of himself.

“One more thing about Michael Knight.”

“What’s that?”

“I was extremely fond of him”

I love how Long starts saying “Good work, Kitt” after they complete parts of their mission and how Knight does not stop this for the rest of the season, even after he regains his memory. I love so much about this and could frankly talk about it even more than this but this is a brief summary so. So yeah, we’re moving on ;W;

Silent Knight

It’s funny so. I didn’t realize that Knight Rider had done any Christmas specials. I knew about the Halloween specials, but I didn’t realize the Christmas special existed. And so I was laughing at how funnee I was while I was like “SILENT KNIGHT HOLY KNIGHT ALL IS COME-” and then that’s exactly what the pun was meant to be. they done bamboozled me.

ANYWAY THIS MIGHT BE THE STRANGEST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TO EVER EXIST EVER.

They kept mentioning the Christmas banquet thing to make it mildly related to the season but then it wasn’t, it really wasn’t, it all revolved around clowns. There was. There was a Santa I guess. Albeit a bank robber Santa--

And the kid is juuust obnoxious at first, I love how Kitt absolutely hates him immediately for some reason even though Kitt usually doesn’t hate people unless they do something really bad, but it feels so deserved because the kid is a jeeerk. Maybe it’s because the kid accused him of endangering human life and that Hurt?

Kid: Just let me drive and I’ll throw away this dumb clock thing

Michael: No

Kitt: YES

Michael: W H A T ?!

Kitt: YES

Michael: ugh whatever

I was kind of expecting Kitt to pull some sort of shenanigans while the kid was driving as payback for whatever he absolutely despised him for, but Kitt was actually just really sweet and gave him a bit of freedom until he started endangering himself and then helped him get back into control. Very wholesome.

AND the end was CUTE though, like the boy who had previously been a jerk going over and patting Kitt and being just sincerely nice to him ;w; wholesome

A Knight in Shining Armor

Gosh I always forget what this episode is about because the title is so loosely related LOL

The dynamic with Michael and the girl of the week was actually really cute and chemistry was not entirely nonexistant, so that’s a nice change from some of these that come out of nowhere. Her arc was actually pretty sweet, how she resented technology because she wanted to be loved and cared about, how she thought computers were incapable of doing that until she talked to Kitt...

And the cave was prebby.

But why couldn’t she understand that her DAD was in PRISON.

“Why didn’t he ever come to see me?” “Because he was in Jail.” “oh. But why didn’t he call???”

Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend

SOMEONE

AHAHA

SOMEONE CALLED MICHAEL

AHAHA

BERNIE CALLED HIM A DINGALING. Speaking of Bernie, all I could think this whole episode was

White-Line Warriors

LONG-LEGGED PUNK-

Seriously idk what this season’s love affair with the baddies picking on Michael but I love it.

Honestly the twist of this episode was really interesting, I still don’t fully get how the baddies’ plan comes together though. So the song plays on the radio and the police go to investigate the drag racers and the crims are IMMEDIATELY ready? okay then.

Radio announcer Kitt tho. That is blessed.

I want Radio Announcer Kitt. Then again, I just want more Kitt in general so.

Race for Life

INHALE

Y’ALL ARE REAAALLY TRYING TO MAKE ME DETHRONE KNIGHTMARES AS THE CUTEST, AREN’T YOU?

Well ha, joke’s on you episode, you’re getting docked points for only giving Kitt and Becky two interactions. And for making the donor obnoxious for most of the episode (although that end scene was pretty adorable). So, okay, second cutest.

THE WAY KITT WAVED I-

HE IS SO CUTE

he is so cute.

Devon was really sweet this episode, not gonna lie. I’m not sure if I’ve said it on this blog before, but I had strong dislike for Devon after Season 1. I can explain that later if anyone wants, I’d be perfectly willing to compare the two seasons, but Season 2 Devon is pretty alright. He doesn’t have much of a presence, but when he does, he’s kind. I’m assuming he let Becky win at checkers, in which case uh, aW?! Devon that’s cute.

KITT TRYING TO TEACH THE TEN YEAR OLD CHESS AHSIODHOAISD I LOVE YOU BUDDY

Also, I feel like this is the episode April really became her own character, separate from Cadiz. She’d kind of just been a slightly perkier Bonnie, but now we get to see her family, her concerns... And April’s a pretty good character.

OH AND THE WHOLE “Kitt is family” ARC IS THE SWEETEST THING ASHDHAOSDohIAD

“Julio, meet Kitt. He’s part of the family”

“Thank you, Michael.”

MY. HEART.

Speed Demons

Okay so. This is another one of those episodes where very little seemed to change by the end of the episode. The guy who was actually in danger quit motorcycling anyway soooo... The episode plot itself isn’t what I feel like talking about.

What was WITH that one announcer guy? Were we meant to like him or not??? First he tries to Kick the Kitt and Kitt’s like :/ whatever

and then he comes back and they start to have like, a deep conversation, and he lovingly pats the hood before walking away. And we’re like AWWW OKAY THIS GUY IS NOT TO BAD

AND THEN he asks Kitt to talk for someone and Kitt’s like “...” and the guy riots. Why did Kitt not talk for him and why did the guy go so absolutely bonkers when he didn’t? Were the cameras rolling and I just didn’t realize? And then we kind of hate the guy again because he once again absolutely went ballistic at Kitt. “That’s Showbiz.”

But then the dynamic with that coworker keeps coming up, and yeah, I guess she does seem a bit annoying. But she also seems like a potential lady of the week and a potential protagonist. So when she gets splashed with mud or whatever that was and the guys all like :D

What are we meant to be feeling?

Are we meant to feel bad for her or happy for him?

Because I just felt confused.

Goliath Returns 1 & 2

GOSH DARNIT ADRIANNE IS BACK

ALSO I-I-I I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING A DOOFY AND STUPID VILLAIN JUST P L E A S E STOP ; M ;

SERIOUSLY WHEN DID GARTHE TURN FULL PSYCHOPATH-

THE FEELING I GOT REMINDED ME OF WATCHING THE SHERLOCK FINALE. S H E R L O C K F I N A L E.

Sigh, I should have known he’d gone off the deep end when he walked into a hot tub with jeans on.

I will forever be mad at some versions coughincludingtheoneIwaswatchingoncough for cutting out the fact that Kitt’s microchip was almost ENTIRELY WIPED/OVERWRITTEN AND PUT INTO GOLIATH. Because uh, the way the show cut it up for TV, it seems like Kitt’s really in no danger other than being annoyed. But no, literally everyone almost dies. Fun times!

Seriously why did this convoluted garbage get a two-parter but Kitt vs. Karr didn’t?

This episode makes me sad. Not just because Garthe tried, and almost succeeded, to take away everything we love in this show. Not just because this episode strayed far enough from the typical formula for this to seem like some dystopian nightmare version of Knight Rider. Not just because freaking Adrianne is back.

I mean because I loved Garthe’s character, and this totally changed it. I like that they went into Garthe’s trauma a bit more with this one, but unlike some villains in the Knight Rider canon (okay let’s not play games, UNLIKE KARR-), what he does is so dastardly, SO insaNE, that there is no way to argue that he might be justified. No. No. Garthe, Adrianne, and Goliath are gone now, and that’s how it had to be.

OH ALSO GO O F F APRIL YES QUEEN I LOVE YOU- I honestly felt so bad for her when she turned around and broke down right after standing up to him, like dang, that hurts. And Devon was sweet in this episode too ;w;

Okay but were they planning on making another episode of this? Because that end scene was such an obvious teaser it’s not even funny.

“I hope we don’t run into those very much drowned people out in the streets again, Michael. And I especially hope that they do not construct another semitrailer with the exact same scale and name as the previous one that was driven into the ocean.”

“Yes, I agree Kitt, this is also an anxiety that I possess despite the fact that they are very much definitely Deceased. I sure hope that plot convenience does not interfere in the future.”

THANK GOODNESS THAT ADRIANNE IS GONE

wait what? her actress is in another episode as another character who’s just as awful? wHYYYYYY

A Good Knight's Work

THAT BEAR NEEDS TO DIE. I am so glad Michael ejected the dumb thing at the end, Kitt deserved it. Especially after Michael essentially told him to temporarily kill himself. Michael's a cyberbully now ig. The arc with Kitt and the car salesman was cute. Apparently deactivation is considered programming now? Michael my mans you could have given Kitt any warning at all (I kind of take this back after one of the Season 3 episodes I’ve watched uHHHH this was a lot of warning compared to how Michael rolls in S3 what the heck is wrong with him). Cute episode overall tho I guess. ALSO I JUST NOW REALIZED "A GOOD KNIGHT'S WORK" IS A PUN BECAUSE KITT IS WILTON KNIGHT'S WORK AND I'M MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT NOTICING IT SOONER-

Mouth of the Snake and that other garbage one that's title makes no sense

David might as well be a plank of wood. A plank of wood that yeets himself ten feet into the air whenever possible, but I digress. Does this count as superpowers? I just love how he offended Kitt 0.1 seconds after meeting him and then Michael proceeded to tell Kitt off for reacting. Love that soooo much. It's also hilarious to me how most of this episode has a similar structure to most Knight Rider episodes and then they randomly start reacreating the Most Dangerous Game--

Let it Be Me

Why isn't this the season finale?! I mean, I'm glad it's not, but why? This is way worse than White Bird like why- I feel like the Stevie episodes are kind of a controversy in this fandom? I loved the first one. This one's just, blegh it's okay. She and Michael still have pretty great chemistry WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING IN REGULAR SPEECH. I do not like Stevie singing the same song with Michael 100 times. The duet at the end is kind of cute though, sue me I like corny things.

Stevie: I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have been with this one guy but ;m;

Michael: has been with approximately 100 women by now

Also Michael: How could you ;m;

Big Iron

This episode is kinda wild. Why does the guy manage to have a full out breakup with Lucy in less than one minute? Why is Michael a marriage counselor now? Why couldn't Kitt take the oxygen out of the cabin when Michael was definitely going to die if he didn't? Since when does Turbo Boost use a ton of oxygen anyway? Why does this man just immediately make up with his wife after finding out that she helped him? And most of all, WHY DIDN'T THAT BARTENDER LADY ACT THE LEAST BIT CONCERNED WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY TORE UP THE PLACE??? Lmbo she's just like "Stop it guys :/"

It’s so bizarre that this is the season finale ahsdoifhasodf but go off I guess NBC

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kyndaris · 4 years

Text

“If I Ever Were to Lose You...”

As a huge fan of Naughty Dog, it should come as no surprise that I bought The Last of Us Part II on day one. It mattered not that the plot had been leaked a month or so ago. Nor did I care how divisive the game was among the gaming community (honestly, I’m not sure what the exact reason is for the vitriol. The reasons are numerous, ranging from the fact that many believes Naughty Dog was pushing an agenda - if you played the Left Behind DLC, you would have known that Ellie was gay - or that Abby was not painted as a moustache-twirling villain). I loved the first game and I knew that I would appreciate the morally grey narrative that The Last of Us Part II promised. So, with the work day over, I journeyed once again through a post-apocalyptic United States of America.

The Last of Us Part II begins with Joel returning to the town of Jackson. After a fraught conversation with his brother, Tommy, about what had happened at the end of the first game, he brings back a peace offering for Ellie: a guitar. From there, the game jumps forward in time by five years with Ellie waking up late and gently teased by her friend Jesse as they prepared for the day ahead.

I quite liked the first few moments of the game as I took in Jackson. It reminded me of the old west, what with a saloon, blacksmith and horses. But it also painted a more positive picture of the apocalypse, with children playing in the snow and building snowmen. Jackson was a flourishing community. Yes, it had its issues with Infected roving around the countryside, but there was a sense of camaraderie that the first game lacked.

It wasn’t long, however that the game switched to an unknown character: Abby. She had made her way down to Jackson with a group of her friends. It wasn’t made entirely clear what her objective was, initially, but it was revealed in her conversations with Owen that she was looking for someone.

The first part of the game played well - jumping from Ellie to Abby and back again during the course of the day. It all culminated when Abby runs into Joel and Tommy (stationed at the ski lodge) as she tries to dodge a horde of Infected. Joel and Tommy save her, but are too far away to make it to Jackson. Abby offers them shelter in the mansion that she is staying at with her friends. But once within, it is revealed that the person that Abby and her friends were searching for was Joel and that they were seeking revenge for what happened to the head surgeon that was killed at the end of The Last of Us.

As Joel is being brutally tortured, Ellie learns that both Joel and Tommy have not checked in. With Dina and Jesse, she goes in search for them. Finally, she stumbles upon the mansion that Abby and her friends are residing in. Before she can rescue Joel, she is wrestled to the ground and witnesses Abby smashing Joel’s head in with a golf club - leaving Ellie devastated and suffering from PTSD.

Thus, begins her quest for revenge as she heads to Seattle.

The initial moments of the game made it very easy to hate Abby. After all, most of us that picked up the title had played through the original and felt a tight connection with Joel and Ellie. While their actions throughout the first game bordered on morally questionable, they were the protagonists and who the players were able to control. In the world of the post-apocalypse with fungus zombies, it made a certain amount of sense that it was a dog-eat-dog world out in the wilderness. With Abby killing Joel, however, it felt like a line was crossed - making it very easy to slip into Ellie’s mindset of seeking revenge for the loss of her father-figure.

After Ellie arrives in Seattle, finding Abby was no easy task. With the Seraphites and the WLF roaming the streets, Ellie was hard-pressed to find a non-violent solution. Particularly when many of the WLF and Seraphites were of the ‘shoot first, ask questions’ later mentality when it came to trespassers. It wasn’t long before Ellie started tracking down Tommy and the members of Abby’s party. But after an encounter at the Seattle Aquarium, Ellie decided to abandon her quest due to Dina’s declining health. As Ellie and her team prepared to go home, Abby manages to track them down at the theatre that they were staying in and ambushes them.

It was here that many players felt dismayed as the game jumped back again to the start of the three days in Seattle to explain Abby’s side of the story. Through flashbacks, the game revealed that her father was the head-surgeon that was killed by Joel. Years afterwards, Abby continued to suffer nightmares from what had happened. Seeing her story also shed light on how many of her team were suffering from guilt after what had happened in Jackson. This was particularly evident in Abby’s interactions with Mel.

Also, her relationship with Owen was both endearing and troubling. The flashbacks helped paint a picture of their relationship and the troubles that came from Abby’s devotion to training and Owen’s more hesitant approach to working with the WLF. Let’s also not forget how that at the end of Seattle Day One, Abby then slept again with her ex-lover. I mean really? His current girlfriend is pregnant and the two you broke up more than a year ago. At least Abby was able to respect Mel’s wishes and decline Owen’s offer of going to Santa Barbara together.

I liked how it built up a complicated backstory for Abby and helped emphasise that she was not a cut-out copy of the mindless AI enemies that I often faced. It also helped me understand more of the WLF, though I found their compound in one of the old stadiums Seattle less impressive than the city that was built in Jackson.

Her quest to help her friend and then, two young Seraphites also placed in perspective that the world of The Last of Us carried very much an ‘us versus them’ mentality. Considering the fact that I was watching The 100 while playing only cemented the fact that everyone was looking out for ‘their people’ and screw everyone else. And while Yara and Lev helped break some of the prejudice Abby held against the Seraphites, there was also a sense that she was only helping them to alleviate the guilt that she had for her previous actions.

But after discovering the bodies of Owen and Mel, her anger resurfaces and she decides to hunt down those responsible. The fight with Ellie was difficult. Mostly because these were two young women who had many similarities and both were filled with hatred and loathing for the other. In the end, Abby won their first encounter and would have likely killed both Ellie and Dina had not Lev stepped in.

By the time the ending rolled around, however, it was easy to see how much Abby had changed as a prisoner of the Rattlers. She had lost weight and her hair was now a lot shorter than it had been. The confidence she had during the ten or so hours I played as her was gone. Instead, she seemed exhausted. It wasn’t much of a fight as an ongoing struggle between committing to the cycle of hatred or breaking away. After nearly successfully drowning Abby, Ellie decides to let both her and Lev go.

Some might have thought that Ellie forgave Abby for what she did to Joel. I don’t. Rather, it seemed that Ellie came to the conclusion that taking an eye for an eye was not worth it. Particularly after she gave up the safe and happy lifestyle of living with Dina and JJ. This was also true for Abby. In fact, she did not want to fight and only did so when Ellie threatened to hurt Lev. Even then, the battle was half-hearted at best with Abby throwing haymakers that were far too easy to dodge.

The narrative of The Last of Us Part II is a poignant study into the human condition, hidden beneath a traditional tale of revenge. Like The Count of Monte Cristo, which was referenced in dialogue in Abby’s story, it demonstrates the devastating consequences of a person’s need to right the wrongs that were inflicted on the people involved. What many seemed to misunderstand about the game was the fact that there were no ‘good sides’ or ‘bad sides.’ Abby is not the monster that she was first portrayed as. Nor is Ellie like the heroines in the comics she liked to read and the trading cards she collected.

They are all people, looking to survive. And that, perhaps, is what I liked about The Last of Us Part II.

What I also liked about The Last of Part II was the setting. Having visited Seattle in the past, I was excited to see the aquarium - which I visited four years ago. While it didn’t seem to match up exactly with my memories of the place, I still found it exciting to recognise some of the landmarks - such as the Ferris Wheel.

Then there were the flashbacks to simpler times. I loved exploring the Natural History Museum of Wyoming and climbing atop the replica of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Ellie’s enthusiasm about astronauts also proved to be incredibly touching as she divulged everything she knew to Joel.

And though some might consider that Naughty Dog was pushing an agenda by including Lev as a transgender male, I didn’t mind. In fact, it seemed very refreshing that people referred to Lev with the correct pronouns. Even if they were terrible slavers with Infected chained up as pets.

The gameplay also helped to heighten many aspects of the story-telling. This was particularly evident when it came to Abby and her fear of heights. I was fascinated at how just by looking down from a towering structure, Abby would begin to breathe more heavily as her fear took hold.

Other than that, the combat systems were reminiscent of the first game. Stealth was key to surviving, although I much preferred controlling Ellie when it came to fighting the Infected. Mostly because of her unbreakable knife and the fact that she was able to craft Molotov cocktails. When playing as Abby, however, I was much more aggressive.

Overall, The Last of Us Part II wove an interesting narrative of revenge, justice and forgiveness. It might not have been what many fans wanted, but it was what we got. In our current times, it’s easy for people to construct a dichotomy between two opposing forces, but in life, that is hardly ever the case. While Naughty Dog did not break the mould when it came to the combat, it was still serviceable. The Last of Us Part II was fraught with moments of terror as I was being chased by Infected, but managed to soothe them with the humanising aspects of the characters. I suppose that was what made the game for me. The character development and the ability to explore a ravaged world while learning about the people that lived in it.

Now let’s just hope that COVID-19 won’t have the nasty side-effect of making all those that contracted it zombies.

On a side note: why was Abby so swole? I mean, there was nothing wrong with it, but I found myself distracted by her biceps and triceps.

#the last of us part 2 #video games

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