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fandom-blackhole · 1 year

Note

hi, i really liked your work in ao3, so i’d like to request about joel where reader is pregnant and she’s freaking out a bit about telling joel, afraid he’s not going to take the new well, mostly cause of his traumas, but also cause it’s not a safe environment to raise a kid. thank you!

So sorry this took me absolutely forever to get to my lovely, school has been super busy for me! But I'm so happy that you liked my other Joel works and came over here send a request <3 I hope you like this!!

WC: 3.6K (this one got away from me woops)

Warnings: afab!reader, pregnancy, set in Jackson, no real spoilers (that i noticed), one cuss word, mentions of doubts and intrusive thoughts over the pregnancy, very unedited (i am tired and i am sure there are a ton of mistakes sorry)

When the sickness first started you chalked it up to food poisoning from the twenty some year old can of Cambell’s baked potato soup you had found and eaten while out on a three day supply run. Joel had warned you about eating it, but you had been too excited over the soup and the nostalgic memories of before the outbreak that it brought with it. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when two days later as you were hunched over the toilet, Joel rubbed your back gently and waited until after you were finished and he passed you a glass of water, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the door frame and sighed, “Told you not to eat that soup.”

You had only huffed at him and lifted your hand, motioning for help, to which Joel helped you up off the floor and helped you to bed. He left you there with your glass of water and a small trash can, but not before he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and whispered, “Rest up. I’ll come check up on ya in a few hours.”

Of course when a week passed and you were still running from bed each morning, Joel insisted you visit the doctor in town. You pushed back at first, saying that it was probably just the flu, it was that time of year right before winter fully sets in and the weather bounced from warm and cold and almost everyone had at least the sniffles. Joel, however, kept pushing and eventually he won out after a particularly rough day where you could barely hold down water and you couldn’t handle Joel’s worried glances anymore.

So the next morning, before he left for his patrol, Joel walked you to the building downtown that had long been converted into a doctor’s office. The whole walk there Joel kept fretting over you.

“You sure you’ll make it back home alright? I can ask Maria to come and walk you back when she’s finished, or have her grab Ellie to do it.”

”I’ll be fine. I swear you act like I am gonna walk out of there knocking on death’s door.”

Joel of course gives you an exasperated look as the two of you turn the corner to the main hub of Jackson that was downtown and he gives a huff before saying, “You just have me worried. I’ve never seen you this sick and you haven’t been getting any better. It’s been two weeks, you should be getting better by now.”

“Joel, I really think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here,” you reply to his worry, trying to reassure him just a little, but as he opens the door for you to enter the doctor’s office he just shakes his head while looking at the ground. When he meets your eyes again, he says with full seriousness, “I don’t think you ‘re taking this serious enough. Maybe I should stay an’ make sure you don’t downplay everything.”

At that you take a step forward towards Joel and stick a finger on his chest with your eyebrows raised.

“Oh no, you are going to go do your patrol with Tommy. I can do this like an adult,” you pause and meet Joel’s hazel gaze, reading into his worry with a sigh, “and I promise I will tell the doc the whole truth, leaving nothing out. You aren’t going to lose me to something as small as the flu Joel Miller, you’re stuck with me.”

That earned you a small quirk of Joel’s lips, before he sighed again before nodding. You gave him a small smile back and pressed a kiss to Joel’s nose before whispering a goodbye and walking into the doctor’s office.

---

Well, Joel was right it would seem. It wasn’t the flu like you had assumed. You weren’t even sure how to wrap your head around what the doctor had come in and told you. He had told you that he ran the test twice just to be sure, but both had come back positive. You were pregnant and there was no doubt in your mind whose child it was.

You didn’t mean to start crying, but once it started you couldn’t stop, the tears cascading down your cheeks as your shoulders shook with silent gasping sobs. Your doctor held you, letting your tears soak his shoulder as he ran a comforting hand up and down your back. From his reaction, you doubt this is the first time he’s comforted someone with news like this, afterall who wants to bring new life into a world like the one surrounding you now, it wasn’t a safe environment for children.

Once you had calmed, the doctor pulled away and with a gentle voice started giving you the pregnancy spiel- avoid this, don’t drink that, try to eat more of this. All of it was a blur in your mind, shock clouding your thoughts. The doctor told you he estimated that you were about six or seven weeks in, which is when morning sickness tended to make an appearance. So he gave you a bottle of multivitamins to start taking as well as a chamomile and ginger tea that is supposed to help the nausea. He also gave you a small bag of honey and mint candies, saying he was a little worried about your lack of calorie and fluid intake over the last week, telling you to drink the tea and try and suck on a few candies until you thought you could hold down actual food.

As you got ready to leave, your tote of goodies, as the nurse had called it, slung over your shoulder, the doctor gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a small smile telling you, “Try not to worry too much, you’re in the best spot in the whole country to be going through something like this, and you aren’t alone, you have a whole town at your back. Not to mention the hardest fighter in town beside you.”

You returned his smile, though your’s was hollow and full of worry, and nodded. You wished the doctor and the nurse a good week and walked home, not stopping until you were alone in your bathroom sobbing as you slid down the wall in your shower.

---

Weeks passed and your nausea and morning sickness eased with the help of the tea which you drank in the mornings, smiling over the rim of your mug as Joel drank his coffee, always offering you some and you always declining. He never seemed any suspicious of your condition. He believed you that evening when you had told him a lie, told him that you had been right, that the doctor said it had been the flu making you sick. He didn’t question you when in the mornings after saying you were better you still drank the tea telling him you had really liked it and just didn’t want it to go to waste, when in reality you were still waking up with a queasy stomach each morning.

You aren’t completely sure why you continued to hide the pregnancy for Joel. He didn’t say it much, but he had told you that he loved you, he showed it to you almost daily through small things like bringing you fresh eggs when you mentioned a craving for cookies but you were missing that one ingredient, how he brought home you favorite food from the dining hall once you were finally able to hold down food again, how he surprised you with a gift yesterday- a small wooden bird carving he’d started for you when he noticed you’d been feeling down. He loved you, you knew this, and you loved him, but you were terrified of telling him. What if it changed how he felt? What if he didn’t take the news well?

You should know to ignore these doubts, you really should, but they cloud your thoughts anyway. Joel had already been through so much with his daughter, Sarah, and his adoptive daughter, Ellie. He’d long since confided both of their stories to you, he had told you how the death of his daughter had shattered him and how his cross country trip with Ellie had broken him back down once more. What if the pregnancy brought up all the bad memories and traumas for him? What if it was too much for him to go through the process of raising, caring, and protecting another kid?

That’s not even mentioning your own personal worries of the pregnancy. You knew Jackson was one of the safest places left, but that doesn’t mean that it is completely safe from the outside world. The town often had enough raids from hunters to remind you of that fact, and the hordes of infected wandering up north and getting closer to town were of no comfort to these worries either. And what about all the possible complications? Things could always go south and put you at risk. You could die giving birth, the baby could die, both of you could die. You both could end up as just another name on Joel’s list of loss. You didn’t want to be another source of pain for him, you didn’t want to hurt the man you loved like that.

So you don’t tell him. You continue to smile at him over the rim of your mug each morning. You continue to live your life around Jackson like nothing is different and you live in fear of the day you can no longer hide yourself from the man you love.

---

Months pass and you continue working. You continued patrols with Joel and you kept putting on the facade that everything was fine and like there wasn’t a constant fight going on in your head. Joel of course ever observant gave you worried looks like he could see through your mask, but never brought it up nor asked you what was troubling you. It was tearing you apart being the only one that knew and unable to bring yourself to say anything.

The nausea and morning sickness started to fade around the three month mark and you were truly overjoyed to not be waking up feeling ill each morning. But of course there had to be a downside. You only got another two weeks without the morning sickness before you noticed the thing that was going to be your undoing.

You had been pulling on your jeans, getting ready for the day’s patrol- one of the longer routes and you’d be accompanied by both Joel and Tommy- only when it got to buttoning them, you couldn’t. You’d noticed them getting a little tight, but had hoped that you’d have more time. Luck had never been on your side however, so as you struggled with the button you could feel your heart in your throat as your panic started to take ahold of you.

After several minutes you gave up, knowing your struggle was going to stay fruitless. Looking around your room for a solution, you paused on your spare pair of boots. As quickly as possible you dethreaded both sets of shoelaces and slipped them through your jean’s belt loops as many times as possible before tying the sides together and zipping the jeans closed as much as you could.

After shoving your boots that still had their laces on, you raced downstairs and rushed out an apology as you slipped your coat on, the weather still holding its chill.

“Sorry I couldn’t find my warm sweater. Let’s go before Tommy starts complaining about us holding him up.”

Joel just shook his head with a fond smile, holding your bag out for you to take as you passed to leave the house.

The walk to the front gate was quiet, the morning sun just gracing the horizon as you rubbed your hands together and slipped them into your pockets for your gloves which you hurriedly pulled on. Like you had predicted, once you reached the gate, Tommy stood next to his horse with his arms crossed and he spoke up as you and Joel approached, “What took you both so long? Coulda slept in in my nice warm bed if I’d known you’d be late.”

You rolled your eyes as Joel helped you up onto your horse and he replied, “Someone couldn’t find their warm sweater even though it was hanging right there in the closet.”

Gasping, you nudged Joel’s shoulder with the toe of your boot as he walked away, grumbling, “Just throw me under the bus why don’t you. See if I agree to go on anymore patrols with you two.”

Tommy laughs as he swings onto his own horse before leading the three of you out of Jackson and out towards your path for the day.

The three of you travel in silence for a little bit, you yourself enjoying listening to the early morning bird songs. Once you all get to the first sign-in point, you all take the chance for a pause and a stretch. You walk around the converted home, stopping to look through the bay window in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The room was clearly a kid’s room, the walls painted with fields and a barn and farmhouse surrounded by houses, cattle, chickens, and bison. The bed one of those that grew with a kid, going from cradle to toddler bed. Toys and stuffies long forgotten and scattered around the room. You leaned down and picked one up, a weathered build-a-bear wearing a pair of faux denim overalls and a red handkerchief. Gently you wiped the dirt and dust off the eyes, letting the black plastic shine once again.

Without realizing it, one of your hands drifted down to lay on your lower abdomen as you swallowed heavily and your eyes start to water. But you don’t get too far, as a soft knock on the door behind you brings you back. Turning, you find Joel looking over you, eyes slightly worried as he holds out a small pack of dried fruit. You give him a small smile and set the bear down on the bed before grabbing the food, noticing the hand on your stomach, quickly laughing and patting the hand there saying, “You must have heard my stomach growl downstairs.”

Taking your lead Joel gave you a grin replying, “Thought there was a runner up here from all the noise it was making.”

You huffed a laugh, kissing Joel’s cheek as you walked back downstairs and let out a sigh of thanks to whoever let you get away that easily with such a terrible lie. But you didn’t dwell on it, the three of you hopping onto your horses and setting out on the trail once more.

As you went this time, Joel and Tommy passed the time with conversation. You though just listened to them, eating the fruit Joel had given you and occasionally adding little input when prompted.

Tommy made mention that the meat stores were running a little low and he’d been asked to try and catch a deer if he could. That led the two down a conversation over how the food stores as a whole were doing and if there needed to be any supply runs anytime soon. You however zoned out at this knowing they would probably get wrapped up in the conversation. Instead you looked around as you rode, both to keep an eye out for anything and to keep your mind busy. Not that it worked as your mind drifted.

You were starting to show and while it wasn’t too noticeable right now, it would only be a matter of time before nothing fit and you’d be forced to tell Joel, or he’d figure it all out himself. At this point you're worried over his anger at being left in the dark over this for so long as well, adding to the number of worries you already held. The doctor had told you on your last check up that all your stress and worrying was causing your blood pressure to raise and that worried him. He had urged you to take a break, to try and relax but you couldn’t, not when relaxing meant your thoughts would be given more time to circle and bring you more stress and worry. You just wished all of this would disappear, that everything was fine and you only had to worry about the usual things like hunters and infected. You hated yourself for it, because you had truly not wanted it, but in the beginning you had hoped and prayed that something would happen, that this would go away and you wouldn’t have to tell Joel. But here you are and you should have known that this child being part Joel meant it wasn’t going to give up, that it was going to be there no matter how hard they had to fight, and fuck did you already love the little devil, but the worry it brought left you breaking apart.

Hearing your name shouted pulled you from your thoughts. Jerking your head you met Joel’s worried and confused look as he said, “Come on, Tommy is gonna go start a fire for us all to warm up an’ I spotted some deer tracks so you an’ me are gonna go see if we can find anything…..you good?”

Looking around, you noticed the three of you had reached the next sign in spot on the patrol route while you had been lost in your thoughts. Turning back to Joel you nodded before sliding from your horse and tying her up.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just got a little lost in thought. Sorry.”

Joel just nodded slowly, his worried look not leaving, before he nodded his head to the right, saying, “The tracks lead this way.”

You nod, and grab your rifle from your shoulder, and start to follow after him, watching the tracks as the two of you go. It didn’t take long to catch up to the deer, the pretty female gazing on an open patch of grass only a fifteen minute or so walk from where you both had left Tommy and the horses. Quietly, both you and Joel looked through your scopes that the deer as she slowly stepped and ate at the patch of grass. You had had a clear shot, and were about to take it, knowing Joel’s own was blocked by a thin tree in front of him, but you paused when you saw movement next to her and that’s when you saw the small fauntling clinging close to its mother’s legs.

For some reason all of your worries came to a head as you saw the two together, and your hands shook as you put your rifle down. Joel turned to you confused as he had yet to notice the baby, so you just turned to him and shook your head and pressed your fingers to your lips before pointing to the deer and cradling your arms, signing to him that she had a baby with her. Joel took another quick look and sighed, putting his rifle down as well when he finally saw the fawn.

The two of you started back to Tommy to tell him that the prints had been a dead end, but halfway back you couldn’t help but pause, and say, “Do you ever feel jealous of them?”

Confused, Joel turned to look at you where you stood and shook his head as he said, “What?”

You sigh and refuse to meet his eyes as you motion back to where the deer were, clearing your throat.

“The animals. Do you ever get jealous over how they aren’t chased after like we are, how they can’t turn into monsters that become murderous and hunt down the rest of their species? They just have to worry about running fast enough away from those of us that are living so they don’t become some terribly seasoned stew.”

Joel takes a step towards you, reaching a hand out to cup your shoulder, and says your name, “Where is this coming from? Does this have to do with what’s had you so stressed lately?”

You opened your mouth to reply, to brush it all away and just say nevermind, that it didn’t matter it was only a thought, but you met Joel’s eyes, the hazel swirling with concern and his voice laced with the need to help. In that moment every reply is lost to your tongue and your eyes swell with tears as you utter the words you’d been so terrified to share.

“Joel, I’m pregnant.”

The seconds ticked like hours as you realized you finally let the truth slip. As you watched the emotions filter over Joel’s face. Surprise, confusion, worry….wonder. His eyes danced around your figure as a single tear finally slipped.

“You’re sure?”

You nodded choppily and you gave him a timid smile.

“Yeah…turns out you were right months ago, it was never the flu,” you paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing, “I…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I-I just didn’t know how and my head kept fueling all these ‘what ifs’ around my thoughts and I just didn’t know how to handle it but god I should have told you and I am sorry.”

Gently, Joel cupped your face and wiped away the tears that had fallen as you apologized. He looked at you like you had just whispered to him the secret cure to the infection, one that didn’t involve Ellie.

Joel’s eyes bounced between your own as he asked, “How far….how far along are you?”

“Almost three and a half months,” you reply, your stress slowly fading to the background and slipping away.

Joel, as if he could see all of your doubts over the last three months, looks you right in the eye as he says, “You don’t have to worry anymore. Nothing will happen to either of you, not under my watch.”

Have an idea or headcannon you want written for Joel? My askbox is open! Feel free to send it to me! Thanks for reading and check out my other Joel fics! <3

Masterlist

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 year

Note

HEY HEY HEY so I’ve never requested anything before bc I’m new to tumblr and idk if this is even where I’m supposed to request thing so if i’m wrong then I sincerely apologise.

BUT, if I am then slay I have a funky idea for a tangerine fic that I think you would write so well :)

So I saw you said you’re British but idk if you ever went to a youth club? Like where they have 5-12 year olds come for group games in a sports hall and they do arts and crafts and play with the big rainbow parachute thing on the ground?? Well anyhoo I’ve been stuck on this non hitmen au where I can see reader being one of the leaders who takes the club and usually lemon is the other one, but for whatever reason, maybe like a recreational injury, he needs tangerine to fill in for a few weeks. So this is reader and tan meeting for the first time other than Lemon mentioning him and obviously Tan isn’t used to being around kids and is a grumpy dude and doesn’t know how to talk to them while playing the games but reader finds it funny because she knows them all well. Some funny Tangerine and kiddio interactions results in him catching her attention and the two become better friends while the group are away with the arts and crafts leader. Maybe they get up to some interesting stuff after a few weeks in the sports supply store room?? I just think it’s a fun little thing and the idea gives me nostalgia because if my old youth club lol

HI HI HII!! don’t worry you did it right! okay so, for this I had too many ideas (as it felt so nostalgic to write) I kinda added too much but not enough and feel as though it may not make any sense (like I waffled) I really loved this idea and don’t know if I did as well as I could’ve. but thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

uncle lemon’s brother

tangerine x f reader

wc || 1.2k

warnings || none

masterlist + rules

taglist

Most days, you worked at the local youth club, where you'd lead all sorts of fun activities for the kids. Whether that be arts and crafts, sports in the indoor hall or nature walks, whatever it was that kept the kids entertained, you did it.

Luckily you have a work partner that helps lighten the weight of the kids' intense energy. He's much like a child himself, so he fits in perfectly. When he first joined several months back, the kids gave him a nickname before he could even introduce himself, naming him Lemon, well, Uncle Lemon. There was no reason behind the nickname other than it was 'funny'.

You and Lemon were quite a pair when handling the kids. You had worked out a system that allowed the children to do as much as possible in the short time you had available. You'd lead the artsy sessions, and Lemon managed the sporty activities.

Last week, during one of the after-school sessions, Lemon ironically injured his wrist on one of the climbing apparatuses while on lookout duty. So for his temporary replacement, he asked his brother to fill in. You've never met his brother before, only hearing bits of him when Lemon would share stories or memories. You were a little uncertain if he would be a good substitute considering how much of a grump he was described as.

Today is his brother's first day, so you were patiently waiting by the front desk to give him a quick tour before the kids arrived. Hearing a car pull up out front, you hastily organise the schedule for this afternoon, flicking through the papers as you make your way to the entrance.

"Hey, 'lright?" the man greets, extending a hand.

"Hi," you reply, shaking his hand as you hold his intense eye contact. "You're Lemon's brother, right?"

"Yeah-- Lemon?" he questions, his head slightly cocking.

Snickering. "Yeah, the uh- kids gave him that nickname when he joined. Clearly, it's stuck. How is he doing, by the way?"

"So dramatic," he scoffs. "Acting like he broke his whole body. Can't believe the knob-- sorry, the idiot broke his wrist on a climbing frame," he snickers, following after you.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," chuckling.

It took a little time for Lemon's brother to settle into his new role. It was quite clear that he was not used to being around kids, but as the afternoon went on, he grew more comfortable, and his demeanour began to change. Soften, even.

He was 'coaching' a game of dodgeball while you entertained the eliminated kids, telling them stories until the next round.

"Bob..." a little boy asks, lightly tugging on your hand.

"We're still calling me 'Bob'?" you question, your features playful as you act displeased. "But, yes, munchkin. What's up?" you ask, ruffling his hair.

"What should we call him?" he asks, blatantly pointing across the hall.

"I think something funny," someone else adds, giggling.

"I think we should call him turd man,"

"Turd man?" you entertain, pretending to be disgusted. "That's so disgusting."

"I like turd man,"

"Me too," another adds.

"Mr Grump,"

"Don't forget he's Lemon's brother, so we should call him something similar?" you prompt, trying to ease them into a less disgusting name.

"BANANA," a young boy calls out, practically jumping in excitement.

"Apple,"

"Orange,"

"Lemon number two,"

"Oh, how about something citrus-like. Something sour, maybe?" you chuckle, occasionally catching eyes with the new replacement across the way.

"Satsuma," a little girl calls out, pulling the small orange from her shoe.

"Sweetie, that's a tangerine," you smile.

"That's a good name,"

"We should call him that,"

"Please can we call him that, Bob?"

"Please..."

"Hm, I don't see why not," you laugh, ushering the kids along to join in the new game.

"Tangerine," a young girl calls out, rushing over.

"Tangerine!" another screams.

"Why the calling me that?" he whispers, his head hung low as he leans towards you.

"Ask them," you snicker, talking close to his ear. "Could be worse. They call me Bob,"

"Okay, yeah, you're right. That's much worse," he chuckles. "'lright," he claps, gathering the kids together. "We got time for one more game, ain't we, Bob?"

Grinning. "Yeah, I think so, Tangerine."

After one quick game of dodgeball later, you, Tangerine and the kids walked back to the main rec room to wind down before hometime. All sat in a circle as you all took turns to share your favourite part of the day.

"Where are you from, Tangerine?" a little boy asks, picking his nose as he poked him with his free hand.

He turns to look at you, his features begging for help as he leans away from the bogey picker. "Um... from my house,"

"Me too,"

"And me,"

"I'm from Poland,"

"Me too,"

"My daddy is from Ireland,"

"Where is that?"

"Near Spain,"

"No, that's an island,"

"You're wrong,"

Listening to all the kids blabber on, you face Tangerine, masking a snicker when you see his exasperated expression. "Hang in there," you mouth, a smile pulling on the corners of your lips.

Playing along, he checks the time on his watch. "Almost there," he whispers.

As the days went on, Tangerine grew a lot more comfortable with the kids, and he looked as though he was starting to enjoy his time with them. There was something so endearing about seeing a burly, attractive man acting so juvenile while entertaining kids, how soft and gentle he could be while speaking to them.

The two of you had spent lots of time together over the last couple of weeks, hanging out and chatting whenever there was a moment free. Tangerine was very slow to warm up, very reserved, but once you got past the first layer, you realised just how decent a person he is.

The kids had just left for the day, so you and Tangerine had to pack away the equipment in the sports cupboard that was left out.

"Hey, pass us that, would ya?" he asks, nodding to the bag of balls behind you.

"The ballbag?" you grin, reaching over the messily organised area. "You gotta say it. That's the rule round here," you joke.

"Ballbag," he says flatly, extending a hand. "Now give it,"

"Yeah, one min, my legs stuck,"

"Stuck?"

"Yeah," you sigh.

"Don't move. I'll come help," grinning.

"You're a funny man,"

He parts the boxes to the side as he makes his way over to you, moving the equipment out of the way so he can crouch to the floor beside you. His hand is warm and firm as he grips your ankle, slowly guiding it from the crack, looking up at you.

He coughs in his fist, clearing his throat. "There we go," he says, glancing away from your admiration-filled gaze.

Clearing your own throat, awkwardly looking away. "Thanks,"

"Yeah," he nods, meeting your eyes once more.

He slowly stands up, keeping his eyes glued to yours. His head hangs low as he brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes darting over you. "No problem," he whispers.

"We should get going," you whisper back, practically pulling away.

"Don't worry. I weren't gonna kiss ya," Tan chuckles, lacing his hands into yours. Smirking. "Not yet, anyway."

@tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @v1ntage-daydr3am @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things @astermath @dynamitehacke @ugh09876554444 @boldlyimportantface @charmedkim @fruitlovertangerine @psiiconic @bubblezuku @sporadiccherryblossomfan @landryslove

#tangerine #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine bullet train #tangerine fanfiction #tangerine imagine #tangerine au #tangerine fluff #tangerine blurb #tangerine x fem!reader #tangerine and lemon

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art · 2 years

Photo

Creator Spotlight: @textless

Hi! My name is Amadee, and I am a librarian who lives in Arizona. I also love taking photos in my spare time.

Check out our interview with Amadee below!

What got you started in photography?

Both of my parents were very interested in photography. I’d always loved looking at their work, and in high school, I got a 35mm camera as a gift, so I could start taking photos myself. Back then (in the actual 80s), HS students in the Minneapolis area could take classes at area colleges for dual credit. I started taking photo classes at the University of Minnesota and had access to a darkroom and nearly unlimited film and processing supplies without realizing just how amazing that was. I took many photos of friends, acquaintances, and strangers, and I loved looking at work by Nan Goldin and Bill Owens. After college, without access to a darkroom, I stopped taking pictures almost entirely.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Bluntly, technology allowed me to start taking photos again. The first digital cameras I tried in the early 2000s were terrible: slow, clunky, and with next to no storage capacity. Even so, they seemed like the first step in an interesting direction. By 2008 or so, I had a point-and-shoot digital camera and rediscovered what I loved about photography… except that I no longer wanted to take pictures of people. Soon I started taking photos of tiny things, especially insects, and my little camera wasn’t up to the task. I got a DSLR with a macro lens in 2010 and haven’t stopped taking photos since.

I know many photographers who are nostalgic for film, whether or not they were around in the analog era. More power to anyone who wants to spend the time and money, but I don’t miss film even a little. For the kind of photography I enjoy, which is almost entirely documentary, the ability to take an unlimited number of photos, and see what did or didn’t work right away, makes all the difference.

You've also written books in the past—what was the most challenging, yet rewarding part of the process?

I was a children’s librarian for many years and just love books. So, when I started writing, I hoped to create books that would connect with kids and spark their imagination. Cortez the Gnome was a book I would have liked to see as a kid, and the art project elements were fun and frustrating. Gentle Hands filled what felt like a gap in my storytimes and gave me a chance to work with a publisher I like very much. Alas, my biggest challenge is that I haven’t had an idea in years! I write occasional blog posts for Free Spirit on topics related to serving youth, but working with kids was the spark for new ideas, and these days my work is mostly admin. I enjoy it more than I would have guessed years ago, but as a wellspring of inspiration, it is not.

How do you create healthy boundaries in balancing your day job and personal aspirations?

Work comes first every time. That might sound like a drag, but I truly like my job and think library service is critically important. In some of the tiny communities we serve, the library is the only gathering place open to everyone, and the only place to access fast internet, enrichment activities for kids, books, movies, and all kinds of other good stuff. I love taking photos, but I would hate to make a job of it.

What is the hardest part of your process?

The process itself is just fun, and I’d stop if it weren’t. I used to stress about editing and posting photos soon after taking them because I wanted to create a sort of nature journal in real-ish time. That wasn’t sustainable, partly because the subjects that interest me are so seasonal. I might take 2,000 photos in August (peak macro season here), but only 100 in February. Now I just try to indicate when photos were taken and know that I’m the only person who particularly cares about that. For years I posted six new photos each day. Now I generally post two and skip days or longer whenever it suits me.

Right now, the biggest challenges are external. First, my vision is less and less sharp. It’s nothing severe, just a function of age, but it makes me think I’d better develop an interest in non-tiny subjects at some point. Second, some small but annoying health problems have kept me from getting out much over the last year. I used to take a hike or long walk at least once or twice a week, and more in peak bug season. Since last September, I’ve taken two longish walks and mostly stuck to the yard. On the plus side, it’s an excellent yard with an ever-growing assortment of interesting plants and insects.

While this is frustrating in some ways, it’s also a distillation of something I have always liked. Even when I was hiking all the time, I enjoyed going back to the same places, again and again, getting to know them in detail and watching the seasons roll through. Staying so close to home this year has been an extreme version of that, and some aspects of that have been very satisfying.

I should also say, for the record, that I am not technical at all. I’m not interested in new gear as long for its own sake, and I don’t like messing with camera settings or anything fiddly. My favorite piece of photo advice ever was “f/8 and be there,” which I took to mean finding a basic setup you like and focusing on the subject at hand. I like finding strange or beautiful things that other people might not notice and trying to make them interesting to a wider audience. (Wider than just me, that is.)

What is something you would love to photograph but haven't had the chance to yet? Why?

This is oddly specific, but I desperately want to find an Arizona Unicorn Mantis (Pseudovates arizonae; check out the photos here). Several have been spotted within two miles of my house, but I have never found one yet. They are otherworldly and just fascinating. Insect goals!

Are there similarities or differences in your workflow when it comes to photography and writing?

Mostly difference in that photography is relaxing, and writing is nearly impossible, at least right now.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

There are several excellent photographers who live in my corner of Arizona, and I love their work because it shows different aspects of a place I care about. Also, their photos are just gorgeous.

@fatchance is practically a neighbor and an all-around lovely person. He takes beautiful pictures of birds and desert flora, and unlike me, he takes the time to learn about and share good information about his subjects.

@thelostcanyon is another south-eastern AZ photographer I admire, and he is also a very good painter.

@inlandwest is actually my partner. We’ve lived all over the west together, and I like that his wide-open-spaces aesthetic is so different from my focus on the little things.

A little farther afield, I love @macroramblings, and Celeste, of @celestialmacros, @celestialphotography, and @occasionallybirds, for their beautiful macro work. @mostlythemarsh is another long-time favorite. He’s not a macro photographer, for the most part, but I like seeing familiar places through the seasons, and I like the stark difference between his environment (east coast/Canada) and my own.

Thanks for such wonderful answers, Amadee. Check out her beautiful photography work over at her Tumblr, @textless!

#creator spotlight #photographers on tumblr #writers on tumblr #macro photography #textless #insects #bugblr

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sleepingdeath-light · 8 months

Text

for old times’ sake ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (kinktober entry)

word count ; 1522

content ; sexually explicit content, alcohol consumption, reminiscing, over the clothes touching, handjobs, clothed grinding, anal sex, semi public sex acts, intoxicated sex, intoxicated sex acts

fandom ; harry potter

pairing ; sirius black x cis male reader

read also on ; ao3

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

It was rare for you and Sirius to find anything resembling a private moment in the repurposed Black estate given just how many people were there. Then again with the whole of the Order being cooped up in the town house it was only natural that privacy was sparse to come across — but on this quiet school night evening, the two of you had somehow managed it (with the help of a few white lies about needing more groceries, some leaks here and there, and a handful of illusion and privacy spells, of course).

And now, sitting arm in arm with your lover turned ex turned lover again, with a half dozen bottles of various alcohols strewn about the various cluttered tables and armrests of the lounge room, it was difficult not to start to reminisce about the past. About that blissful, simpler, time before the war, before the deaths, before his false conviction, back when you were just two lovestruck young men sneaking around the grounds of Hogwarts just to get in a few drinks and a couple of touches before class — and by the wistful look on your partner’s face, it seemed like all of the drinks had also left him in a bit of a nostalgic mood.

So, bringing your fifth (or sixth?) shot of whatever was in that bottle to your right up to your lips, you let your mind truly wander back to those ‘good old days’ (as Remus had called them once upon a when).

To when you were both red faced sixth years (if one could still be called that midway through the school year), fresh into your relationship and every little touch and look was as exciting as can be, and you were sat on the train into Hogwarts for the umpteenth time (though it never stopped feeling special to muggleborns like yourself and Remus). When James and Peter had hurried out of the booth you were all awkwardly packed into, and Remus was too distracted by his latest book to notice anything beyond the end of his nose. When Sirius had encouraged you to sit on his lap and he’d wrapped those strong arms of his around your waist to keep you in place and he leaned in close to whisper into your ear — starting off light enough with jokes that made you groan and chuckle in equal measure, before moving on to something more risky whilst letting one of his hands reach down to start to gently palm you through your uniform (calling you ‘handsome’ and ‘hot’ and telling you all of the wonderfully nasty things he was going to do to you once you were alone in the dorms).

That was first time the two of you had branched away from innocent brushes of the hand and pecks on the lips when nobody else was looking. Quite the leap to take (and one that had left your head spinning and your cock aching at the time), but looking back you were so very thankful he had.

Because if he hadn’t, then you wouldn’t have experienced even a quarter of all of the wonderfully forbidden things that you’d done together over your final two years at Hogwarts.

Things like nearly being caught in a supply closet in professor Slughorn’s classroom between classes: one of your hands clamped tightly over Sirius’s mouth to keep him quiet whilst the other was wrapped around the thick base of his cock, stroking him quickly from root to tip and pausing to give him a threatening look every time he started to get a bit too vocal for your liking: those beautiful brown eyes of his, wet with tears and wide with an innocence you knew he didn’t possess, staring pleadingly at you as he tried to convey as much as he could with looks alone (pleading, glaring, huffing, rolling his eyes at your scolding, and nearly crying when you edged him again for being too loud); his hands, warm and soft and large, grasping at anything within reach to ground himself, whether that was the shelf behind him, the sides of your cloak, your collar, your (by now very undone) house tie, or just your shoulders as he tried desperately to abide by your instructions. It was a whole ordeal and you’d ended up taking thirty minutes for what was supposed to be a quick (five or six minute) handjob in a cupboard, but all of the frustration was worth it when you saw how he reacted to being called your ‘good boy’ for finally staying quiet like you’d asked.

Things like sneaking out of the bleachers during a game of quidditch that was far more boring than any quidditch game should be in order to make out with each other without getting interrupted. You could remember it like it was yesterday: passing that bottle of fire whiskey between yourselves and taking alternating swigs of the burning liquid between kisses, drunkenly straddling his waist and grinding down onto his hard straining cock, him moaning and groaning against your lips, the dull thud of the bottle falling over onto the grass, the feeling of his hands massaging their way up and down your sides, how soft his hair was as you buried your fingers in it, the awkward stagger back to the stadium afterwards whilst trying to hide the obvious stains on your trousers. Looking back on it now you were sure that everyone sat near to you (especially the long suffering Lily who always sat to your left during such games) knew exactly where you’d disappeared off to and why, but back then you thought you were invincible. No wonder why muggles call it ‘liquid courage’; get enough fire whiskey in you and you’ll think you can take on the world or make yourself as quiet as a mouse (you really should have bought her an apology bouquet since she was the one sat closest to where you’d ended up during the match… poor woman, how she was able to keep looking you both in the eye afterwards you’d never know).

Things like sneaking Sirius into your bedroom when all of your roommates were busy getting wasted at a party down in the Hufflepuff dorm room. When he’d carried you up those stairs like you were newlyweds and tossed you down onto your bed so hard you’d bounced once, then twice, before coming to a stop with his coat (that you’d ‘borrowed’) flapping unceremoniously over your face with such mundaneness that the two of you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at it (too sober to be so easily amused but drunk enough on love not to care). How it felt to have the weight of his body atop your own, comforting and warm and heavy, whilst you made love over and over again — switching positions so often and going for so long that you were sure that your bed was soaked through with cum and sweat and lube by the time you were finished, and yet neither of you cared enough about the mess to not fall asleep in it. How he never even bothered to pull out at the end and how you found the feeling of being filled too comfortable to complain, so the two of you simply nodded off like that: spooning, naked, messy, and too deeply in love not to care about all of the questions you’d be bombarded with the next day when your roommates found you.

Things like having the freedom to be relaxed and adventurous and in love no matter what anyone else had to say. Things like being able to be yourselves around each other, mess and sweat and drunkenly rambled about vulnerabilities and all.

You missed those days dearly and, as you looked at your love through new and old eyes (whether it was the nostalgia and alcohol talking or not), you realised that he was just as handsome as ever. Older, yes, and certainly worn down by his time spent in Azkaban, but he was still your Sirius: same deep brown eyes that you could easily get lost in, same messy hair that you loved to run your fingers through (made better by the salt and peppering of grey that the years given earned him), same crooked smile rife with mischief that you wanted to kiss until you were both breathless… and, honestly, the beard really suited him.

And, clearly, by the way he was looking at you his mind had ended up at the same conclusion, so you broke the silence with a lightly slurred proposition.

‘Fancy a quickie? For old times’ sake?’

The corners of his eyes crinkled and he laughed, putting his bottle to one side as he turned to look at you — truly look at you — for the first time in years. Speaking a single affirmative phrase before all but pouncing on you, finding a familiar space between your thighs to settle himself into as you explored the mixture of alcohols (whiskeys and wines and beers and spirits, muggle and wizard brewed alike) on each other’s tongues.

‘For old times’ sake.’

#sleepingdeath #male reader #minors dni #minors dont touch #minors fuck off #smut #smut fic #hp smut #hp x male reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black smut

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igotanidea · 1 year

Text

Surprise : Matt Murdock imagine

asked by @v4leoftears as a part of my celebration

A/N: it;s been a while since I wrote for Matt, and damn! It's nice to get back to that :D, words in italics are the the references to the past, at first, and Matt;s thoughs, later.

****************************************

„Suprise!”

Matt could barely do as little as open the door to his place when Karen, Foggy and Y/N jumped out of different furniture and started happily screaming. They have been planning this little birthday party for him for a while now. Even though Y/N was not sure about hiding in the Daredevil’s apartment, her friends convinced her to do so.

“Come on! It’s gonna be fun!” Foggy said

“Unless he goes full vigilante mode and kills us all in a blink of an eye. You do realize he can hear people heartbeats, right? What do you think would be his first reaction upon sensing three of those in his flat?” she scoffed

“You are too modest, my friend. Everyone knows Matt can tell your heart from everyone else’s. It just beats differently, cause he is soooo in love with you” Nelson grinned at poor, blushing girl.

“Stop it , Franklin!”

“Don’t be me mad at me…..”

“I'm not mad!”

“Last time someone used my real name was probably in middle school, so yes, I can tell you are.”

“We can use some nice scent to calm him down” Karen suggested “I don’t think he would become suspicious if he smells the freshly baked cake or something like this. Or maybe we can get some of his favorite takeout?”

“Nah.” Y/N shook her head “it’s his birthday. We are not taking take-out. If anything I am going to prepare something nice from the scratch.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you agreed to this. I was truly worrying you were going to leave us alone with all the preparations.”

“When did I agree…..?” Y/N trailed, but quickly realized how tricked she was “oh, damn…..”

The three friends had their hands full for the last couple days. The hardest task was probably pretending that they had no clue Matt’s birthday were coming. Even though he was throwing hints left and right.

“I think I should replace my hoodie soon, it seems like it is tearing.” He said one day.

“Really? I know a nice shop with good men’s clothes so I can take you there.” Y/N replied not even looking up from her documents

“I’m running low on medical supplies” he whined on the other

“too many dangerous adventures lately?” Foggy laughed “maybe the devil needs retirement.”

“I might be taking some time off next Thursday., That’s a special date for me” was probably the most suggestive.

“All right. I’ll write it down so no one forgets and won’t take any clients of yours then.” Karen smiled brightly not catching the bait.

So all that left Matt in sad belief that no one of his friends remembered and made him just a bit more nostalgic than usual. He spoke less and tried to bury himself in the work. The plan was working just perfectly.

The only thing left to do was performing some magic so the three of them could leave the office early on that big day, without making Matt suspicious. Now that, that would be a challenge, no doubts. He was just too… careful and observant.

But during all those times of being friends with him, Foggy, Karen and Y/n got sneaky and creative as well. Maybe even more than Matt, since, after all, they were the ones who had to keep his identity a secret and come up with excuses for him being late or bruised or disheveled.

So when the next Thursday finally came, miraculously Y/N got sick, Karen found a lead of a new investigation and Foggy had a family emergency. As a result Matt was left alone in the office, sulking, putting on his characteristic sad wet cat expression and getting lost in thoughts. Somewhere around six he gave up completely and with a deep sigh left the office heading straight towards his apartment. Apparently the only thing he could hope for (even on his b-day) was getting into gear and getting beaten up.

Yeah, well. If only he had more faith in his friends.

“SURPRISE!”

“What…..?” his surprised gaze landed somewhere above Y/N’s head, all his posture asking for any kind of explanation. “What…..?”

“Oh, you silly one!” Y/N rushed towards him, enveloping him a tight hug in which he immediately got lost “Please tell me, you did not actually think we forgot about your special day?”

“I….. I kinda did…..”

“You are a man of a little faith, my friend” Foggy laughed, reaching for the paper hat and putting it on Matt’s head. “We’re gonna party like we did in college.” he added, handing him a bunch of party baloons in different shapes and sizes.

“We weren’t exactly party animals, Foggy.”

“Stop embarrassing us in front of the girls, Murdock!”

“If only that were the only thing that you can get ashamed of” Y/N rolled her eyes and grabbed Matt’s hand leading him inside “stop standing in the threshold birthday boy. There’s more than just some gadgets which were actually Foggy's ideas. ”

“Now you got me worried. I seriously hope you did not set fire in my apartment”

“Idiot!” Y/N smacked his head playfully “use some of your supersenses! Do you smell burnt?”

“Not really.” He smiled lightly “it’s actually pretty nice scent. What did you make?”

“Something special.” Karen grinned, getting the food out the oven “we figured you could actually use some home-cooked meal, instead of take-out again.”

“You shouldn’t have…..”

“Nonsense.” Foggy muttered.

“You, Nelson, have nothing to say in the matter! We made it all from scratch, you just came for the done!”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I brought the presents! That was some heavy lifting”

“Guys!” Karen interrupted Y/N and Foggy’s banter “stop fighting, we should focus on the man of the hour.”

“No, please.” Matt whispered “laugh and bicker all you want. I haven’t had so much laugh and fun in here for a while. It’s just …. nice. Thank you all.”

“Don’t thank us, yet. At least not before tasting and opening the gift.”

“You really shouldn’t have…..”

“Mattie….” Y/N took a step towards him “listen to me” she grabbed his face in her hands and looked him straight into the eyes “you. deserve it. All right? Nod If you understand.” He nodded obediently “don’t you ever think differently, love.”

“Ok, you two lovebirds, come sit and let us eat! I’m hungry!”

“You are always hungry, Foggy!”

“I’m a busy, important man! I’m entitled to be hungry. Can I start now?”

“ NO!” Karen and Y/N yelled in unison

“WHY?!”

“Not before a birthday cake!”

“There’s a birthday cake?” Matt raised his happy, gazeless eyes onto his friends “really?”

“Of course. What’s a b-day party without a cake? Now, here.” The girls put the dessert onto the table and lighted the candles.

“We weren’t sure how old you were, you ancient one….” Foggy joked

“We were actually surprised you lived this long…..” Karen added

“So this is just symbolic number.” Y/N ended the sentence “But the wish is yours to make.”

“I don’t…..”

“Sh! You don’t have to say it outloud. Just think it. It’s all right.”

“All right.” Matt whispered, his eyes glimming a bit as he leaned over the candles and blew them off in the first try.

“Please, I just want them to stay with me like this. I don’t want to be alone ever again”. He though

“Yes!” his friends clapped happily “you made it, it’s gonna come true! Happy birthday, Matt!"

It already did. He closed his eyes, trying to process all those happy feelings bubbling inside him. Thank you, lord. I don’t deserve any of this.

“Finally! Can I eat now?!”

Matthew Murdock never believed he could be happy. He was used to constant pain, fear, guilt and regret. The feeling on carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders all alone. He was a martyr, who put himself on the cross and forgot how to get down from it. And now? Now all that emptiness that was his best friend, was extruded by laughing, joy and that warming presence of his favorite people – friends and the love of his life. They really were here. Despite everything he did, what he put them thought, they never stopped believing in him, never left him. God, he truly did not deserve them. Their voices, jokes and bantering was exactly what he needed. A reminder that no matter what he was not alone. He smiled lightly, digging into the food. Made just for him. To celebrate him. All the effort they put into that, all the planning and preparations. It was just too much to handle and he started to shake, almost unnoticeably by anyone.

Anyone except Y/N, who sat the closest to him.

“Matty?” she reassuringly put a hand on his shoulder throwing him off his reverie “Are you all right?”

“I’m just…. I need a second all right?” he stood up from the table and exit the room, followed by his friends’ surprised gazes. Y/N didn’t even need to think twice when she walked right after him towards the bedroom. Her man was just sitting on the bed, sobbing lightly and that made her blood freeze in her veins.

“Matty?” in a blink of an eye she was by his side, cradling his head and taking all the mixed-up emotions filling him whole “what happened, love? Sh.” She caressed his cheek lovingly “it’s all good. Tell me. I can’t let you go through a mental breakdown tonight. And well, ever. But especially tonight. Tell me, Matt.”

“You’re just all so good to me.” He whispered, hiding face in the crook of her neck “I still can’t process that…”

“Process what, silly? That we love you? That we care about you? That we only want what best for you? Even if sometimes requires tough love?”

“Yes.” He confessed and his confession made her tighten the grip on him

“Good thing we can always remind you.” she smiled and kissed the top of his head

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course. I told you. You deserve it. You are a good person, Matthew Murdock. Stubborn like hell and individualistic, for sure, but deep down, nothing but good.”

‘Can we stay here for a while?” he asked just wanting to be with her until he got back his composure.

“I think….” She trailed, but sudden yelling from the dining room cut her off.

“Are you two gonna come out so Matt can open the presents?!”

“WHO’S BIRTHDAY IS IT, FOGGY?!” Y/N yelled back “WHY DO YOU FEEL THE URGE TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO IN WHAT ORDER?!”

All Foggy did in response was a happy laugh.

“something tells me he's getting another kind of present there!”

“Shut up, Franklin!” she couldn’t help but blush a bit “what do you say, jubiliarian, shall we get back?”

“Only if you give me your present later…” he smirked and kissed her cheek.

“We’ll see about that…..”

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sadsnek · 4 months

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sonic and cooking head canons

sonic. no way he knows a lot of modern home cooking if any home cooking when he knows he can just buy it or have dinner with tails / amy, BUT he should know basic foraging and gathering by now and has plenty experience cooking on a camp fire.

tails. is better at meal prep then cooking or at least he thinks he is why spend so much time making 2 to 3 meals a day every day when he can just make 3 meals and increase the ingredients by 700% and save the rest for the other days of the week but he will cook somthing fresh when he has guest over, if you can consider boiled hot dogs fresh that is.

amy. she is a great home cook and will cook with cream vanilla and big from time to time, the problem is when she wants to get fancy and trys to make a new recipe and has full confidence when she is in reality way over her head, and it dosent matter what she is making she will say "and now the secret ingredient" its love the secret ingredient is love and its not much of a secret if its the secret ingredient in every thing she cooks.

knuckles. similar to sonic but has the benefit of being on the same island all the time, he doesnt have a oven or any electric equipment but he does have some primitive stuff like a mortar and pestle, plus knuckles should have a garden some where on the island yeah its over grown and poorly kept but its still a place where he can get some snacks.

cream and vanilla. these two are the best cooks in town even better than amy any thats ok because they are happy to invite people over for dinner and if you cook with them you will probably learn some thing new, also the serving sizes are pretty big as vanilla is most defiantly the tallest person in town.

eggman. in thought he is a master chief but in action he has not cooked in years think about it the food he eats is more than good enough to keep up his large shape despite all the mechanics work he does and he had to program or train his robots to cook at some point, so he know how to work a kitchen but he is so busy and he has robots that can do it for him so he probably never cooks more than once a month or even less.

shadow. he is a picky eater with a nostalgic taste in food so he knows how to cook food but nothing passed the 60s, and despite not making any thing trendy or popular he at least knows he will make some thing he will eat.

rouge. its fair to say she likes to eats high class how she gets the money for these lavish meals is well not all ways moral, but she is willing to eat some thing simple when at social gatherings most defiantly if she does not have to pay for it.

omega. I dont know if it is said or not if they have a animal powering them but if they do that bird is getting ripped(its probably a flicky) we are talking protein powder steroids fresh salad, it does not matter if its weird and maybe traumatic to feed them chicken and rice but thats what professional marshal artist eat so thats what omegas power source eats too!

charmy. he makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the mourning for school days/work days and is proud of them.

espio. he is well known at the asian market and knows how to cook but does not get to learn any thing expensive or fancy ether for price and schedule issues.

vector. boy he has been trough the rough of it he knows how to feed 3 people on 400$ a month, and thats by hanging out at vanillas house.

team hooligan. bark and fang probably know some recipes but bean is a chemical fanatic one minute there making muffins and the next minute there pulling out a whole tray of crystal meth.

silver. i dont think he has a steady supply of food is most apocalyptic futures so he just likes to eat a pound of dry cement for breakfast.

surge and kit. they use to get fresh meals when starline was around, but now they got use to the effort of MREs if it takes more effort than poring water in a thermal bag then its worth the effort to just mug some one for some diner cash.

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