#normally I'd complain about this to my friends but ... I feel like there needs to be like at least a 12h gap or something bc I do want to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluecollarmcandtf · 6 months

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Trying Them on for Size

My stepdad's eyes rolled back as my friend leapt into his body. Thanks to my distraction, he had a clear jump, and the possession was instant. The beer in his hand didn't even slip as a new guy took over the thick hunk of meet.

"Goddamn, this guy is big!" my stepdad's voice rumbled in uncharacteristic glee, "My arms feel like a ton heavier with all this muscle!"

"I...I cant believe it worked," I stammer, still processing the fact that Sam, my best friend, is inside Paul, my jerk of a stepfather.

Sam lifts a heavy arm and takes a whiff. "Wow, your dad smells rank! Does the pig shower much?" he groans and laughs, "What'd you say this idiot does again?"

"Mechanic, and he's not my dad," I answer, still trying to get over my nerves, "How's it feel...to be in him?"

"Man, he's so muscular and dense. I mean, I can feel how heavy he is, ya know? He's like really sweaty and kinda gross too, but I feel like I could beat the shit out of anyone right now!"

Sam takes a swig of Paul's beer, making the body look just like the alcoholic stepfather I knew and hated. Normally, I'd avoid the guy at all costs. He'd usually only speak to me in grunts, and that was only when he wasn't ignoring my existence. Now, Sam was using his mouth to yap off like an excited puppy.

I think Sam notices that I'm still a little tense, because he stops staring at his massive arms and puts the beer down. Paul's body steps right against me and grabs my hands as he looks down into my eyes. My stepdad would certainly never have done this before.

"How you doin, man?" Sam asks, but I can't help but feel like Paul is talking.

"Good," I lie, "This is just so surreal."

"Well, what do you want to see your old step daddy do for ya?" he asks playfully, "The jerk is at your whim, dude."

"I don't know..."

"Come on, sonny boy! Wanna watch as daddy Paul gets on his hands and knees and crawls to you?"

Sam pilots the muscular body to the floor, while staring longingly up at me with Paul's normally hateful gaze.

"Wanna see your big bad old man, stick out his tongue and lick your shoes?"

Before I can react, Paul...I mean Sam...has stuck out his tongue and started dragging it up the length of my sneaker. God, the sight of my harsh stepfather licking my shoe is incredible! He'd be so humiliated right now.

Sam pulls away from my feet and up to Paul's knees, "Maybe he needs to find another way to express just how sorry he is to his favorite boy."

Sam's lips hang open as he inches towards my tenting pants. My heart is racing with the anticipation of getting Paul's lips on my aching cock.

"I'm home!" a singsong voice echoes through the house.

"Shit, your mom!" Sam growls with Paul's hoarse voice, "I mean, my wife."

"Shut up," I snap, "Let's go to your house. We can get an early start to phase two."

My grizzled stepdad smirks, and we sneak out. Phase two involves Sam's biggest bully: his older brother, and he just got off work.

Michael was even easier to distract and jump into than my stepdad was. I may have been a little nervous, but after watching Sam do it at my house, I was practically a pro.

"Woah," I gasp in a much deeper tone than I'm used to, "Your brother is tall."

"Yeah, he was the basketball star before he graduated. Now he just bums around in the basement and beats me up after work," Sam explains.

I have to admit that it's a little weird to hear my friend complaining about getting picked on when he's wearing a super mature and muscular body. Though, Paul does look less intimidating when I see him from the towering height of the stud I'm in.

"Where were we?" I suggestively purr, getting a hang of using this guy's voice.

"Paul was about to apologize," Sam flashes a smile which looks foreign on Paul's face, "But I think you should make Michael apologize to me first."

I chuckle and take a step towards him, but almost stumble over the massive feet I have on.

"Damn, he's clumsy," I laugh, "Your brother deserves some sort of punishment, but what do you want him to do? Drop down and kiss your ass profusely or maybe bend over and take a good beating?"

"Both," Paul's mouth gulps as his calloused hands struggle to hide a growing hard-on.

"Or maybe you want to hear your brother grovel and beg for forgiveness?" I go on, dropping Michael's body to its knees, "Or maybe you can find a better use for this pathetic mouth."

"Shit, man!" I hear Paul's voice whine, "We're definitely going to make these straight assholes screw each other! But then we have to take them out tonight. They need to be put through something more public!"

"Oh I like that!" I moan from inside Michael, "Offer these jerks' bodies up for use at every gay bar!"

"At every gas station!" Sam excitedly claps Paul's hands together.

"They can pound Michaels ass while Paul tongue-polishes their boots!"

"Come here!" Sam growls.

"Yes, sir."

I jump into Sam's arms! Well, Michael jumps into Paul's arms. As electric as it feels, I can constantly sense that we don't own the bodies we are in. We're just puppeteering them.

That thought makes me wonder if Michael or Paul can feel all this somewhere deep down. It's a fleeting thought, because I'm already lost in the experience of making out with the jerk of a stepfather while Sam enjoys playing with his bully of a brother.

God, these bodies are hot. By the time, Sam and I are done wearing them, Paul and Michael will be the hottest pair of messes in town...

#mind control #gay mind control #male transformation #gay ai art #gay possession #body swap #male body swap #body suit #body theft

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happy74827 · 6 months

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Promises and Ballads

[Todd Ingram x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Todd notices the gloomy outlook on you, and although he’s not much help, he still attempts at making you smile.

WC: 1458

Category: Comfort

So, I decided to watch Scott Pilgrim Vs The World last night, and now I’m obsessed. It’s so chaotically good. Todd was my favorite evil ex out the seven, so ofc I had to write about him. And now, here we are.

『••✎••』

The dim glow of Todd's apartment was pierced by the vibrant colors of posters plastered on the walls. The distant sound of guitars being tuned hinted at the imminent performance of "The Clash at Demonhead." You, however, were sitting on the couch with a storm of emotions clouding your expression.

"So," Todd started, pulling you from your thoughts, "How's college life treating you?" His question was followed by the tapping of the tuning pegs as he finished tuning his bass.

"It's fine," you said, giving him a fake smile. "Nothing too special."

He turned away from the bass to face you, his eyebrows raised. "…Really? Nothing too special? I find that hard to believe, considering… well, you know. I'd expect at least a few crazy stories from you by now."

You sighed and stared into your hands as you pulled them from the sofa, a pained look on your face. You didn’t respond.

Todd let out a soft hum, then walked over and sat next to you on the sofa. He draped his arm over your shoulders, pulling you close. You flinched, your breath hitching, but you didn't pull away from him.

Todd was your best friend since high school. You weren’t very popular and had a hard time making friends, but then you met Todd. Brash, stubborn, and confident Todd. He was your opposite in every way. That was probably why you both hit it off so well.

During the first few weeks in high school, Todd would get in fights. It was always something stupid. Someone would call him a chicken, and he’d hit them, or someone would insult his hair, and he would deck them in the jaw.

Eventually, after a particularly bad fight, he brought enough concern that your algebra teacher decided to dump him on you to “guide” him.

It didn’t work, obviously, as Todd just gave you hell for being a teacher's pet, but that eventually led you into being friends when he realized how little you stuck up for yourself.

It was a weird friendship, you had to admit. But it worked out.

You grew up together. Todd would skip class, and you'd help tutor him. You'd sneak out at night and see bands and shows with him, and sometimes, you'd hang out here in his apartment and watch old movies or play video games. You two were as close as you could possibly get. Well, not as close as you'd hoped you could be, but that's life, right?

"Alright, whose ass do I need to kick?" Todd asked, breaking you from your thoughts.

"What?" You asked, confused.

"Well, you were super excited last week, and now you're just a slump. I’ll go vegan-punch their asses for you, no problem." He looked into your eyes, searching them, trying to find an answer to his question.

You laughed and pushed his arm off you. "I still find it weird how you got powers just for being vegan."

"Hey,” Like on cue, his hair suddenly rose as his eyes became glowing beams of white light. "I’m not complaining. Shit’s awesome, especially since I get to kick the shit out of some people,"

As you sighed, turning away from him momentarily, his hair died down as his eyes faded back to their normal color. Despite the humor, they were filled with concern. He didn't like it when you got quiet like this. It reminded him of the old days.

He gently turned your face toward his. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Todd, I," You bit your lip, trying to think of how to word what you were feeling. "I'm going to miss this."

"Miss what? My handsome face?"

"Stupid, you mean? Yeah, but that's not what I meant." You paused and looked around his apartment, your eyes landing on the many posters of bands that hung on the wall. "This."

“The… posters?” He asked.

You shook your head and turned away from them. "No. This. Us. All of it."

He stared at you, blinking slowly. "What?"

His voice was soft, dazed. Confused

He wasn’t getting it. God, it was so frustrating. How was he this stupid? Why were you friends again?

"Friendship. I mean, our friendship. When I leave again, we won't see each other as often, and when we do, we won't be as close. You’d be… well, busy.”

His expression was blank, his eyes wide and unblinking. "That's what you're worried about?"

"I—" You opened your mouth to answer him, but you couldn't think of the words you wanted to say. You just let out a deep breath and closed your eyes.

Todd leaned in, gently placing his hand on your cheek, turning your face toward his again. Your eyes opened to look at him, confused and filled with worry.

"Don't sweat it about that stuff. We'll still be friends, alright?" His words were firm, leaving no room for argument. "I won’t let you go."

His eyes were filled with that same determination; his hand was warm on your cheek, and his hair was bristling and sticking out every which way. This was Todd. This was the boy who took on everyone, whether they were ten times his size or a hundred times more skilled than him. This was the boy who took on bullies and came out on top.

And despite all that, despite everything, you had a nagging feeling in the back of your mind. You felt like something was going to go wrong.

You didn't realize it then, but in those moments, you realized that Todd didn't see you as a friend. Not just a friend.

He didn't see you as anything less, either.

It was at that moment that he finally saw you, and you were able to see him.

He smiled, that dumb, idiotic grin he always did when he was about to do something stupid. Most situations where he smiled like this were either terrifying or amusing, depending on if you were his enemy or his friend.

"You think you can escape me that easy?" He said, his words carrying the same tone he'd use in the school hallways when someone would try to make a fool out of him. He shifted himself on the couch, leaning into your space. He was getting closer and closer. You could feel his breath on your lips.

Your heart started pounding, and your head filled with fear, excitement, and confusion. His face was so close to yours, and he was so close to your lips. You wanted to look away, but you couldn't. You were frozen in place.

"T-Todd, what—" You swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn't want to let your fear out, but you could feel it. You didn't understand.

He grinned, "How can I resist a challenge?"

He moved his lips to yours, gently placing them in your mouth. He pressed them lightly, sending electricity through your veins. You felt your body start to heat up as your mind went blank.

He slowly pulled away and stared at you.

"There," he said. "That's one thing I'm going to miss about you."

"Wh-What?" You breathed out.

Todd leaned in, "Your smile."

You stared at him, dumbfounded, as your brain tried to catch up. Your mind was going a million miles a minute, but nothing made sense. You looked down, avoiding his gaze.

He grabbed your chin with his fingers, pulling your face toward him. He stared deep into your eyes.

"You don't think I see you? That I don't notice you? I'm not stupid." He placed his hand on your cheek, "Well, not that much, anyway."

"Todd, I—"

"Hey, look, you don't have to say anything, alright? Just—" He smiled softly at you, "Just go back to smiling."

Your heart felt like it was about to burst from your chest, but for once, you were feeling something good. Not just something, you were feeling a lot of different emotions. It was overwhelming, but you were glad for it. It was the first time in years that you felt that way.

You placed your hand on his and looked into his eyes. You nodded, "Okay."

His eyes lit up, and he smiled even brighter, which you didn't think was possible. He pulled your hand to his mouth and kissed your palm, then held it tightly. "Wanna hear me absolutely demolish this killer riff I’ve been working on? It'll blow your mind."

He went off on a tangent, talking about the music he was writing and how amazing he was, and how you had no clue what he was talking about, but that didn't matter because he was happy, and so were you.

College might be hard, but as long as you had him, everything would be fine.

#todd ingram #todd ingram x reader #todd ingram x female!reader #todd ingram/reader #scott pilgrim #scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgram takes off #x reader #reader #fanfic #fanfiction #todd ingram x yn #scott pilgrim x reader #todd ingram fanfic #scott pilgram x female!reader #scott pilgrim fanfiction #brandon routh #brandon routh x reader

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morganski-19 · 10 months

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Things I Won't Say When I'm Sober

inspired by this post by @imfinereallyy. I saw this post ages ago but literally just found this idea in my drafts and decided to finally write it,

part 2

Steve lies across the floor of Eddie’s new trailer, mind hazy, with Robin’s limbs haphazardly laying on him. He’s mindlessly running his hands along the carpet, feeling the soft fiber under his hand. Eddie’s hand reaches into his vision as he passes Steve the joint. He really doesn’t need to take anymore, his muscles already relaxed more than they have been in a while, and his mind is slipping into that territory that might give him a panic attack if he goes too far. But he’s with people he trusts and Robin will cut him off before any of that happens, if he won’t cut himself off before then.

He blows the smoke up into the air as Eddie takes back the joint. Running his hand across the carpet again, he brushes against something different. Curious, he starts playing with it, rolling it between his fingers, tugging on it a bit to see if he can tell what it is.

“Stevie,” Eddie slurs. Steve hums. “Why are you playing with my hair?”

Steve’s eyebrows furrow. “This is your hair?” He tugs on the strand between his fingers a bit.

“Yes, and I'd appreciate it if you’d stop pulling on it.”

“It’s so soft,” Steve finds himself saying, not dropping the hair between his fingers, instead picking up more.

Robin bursts out laughing. “How high are you, dingus?”

Steve shrugs. “Pretty high I guess.”

“Could you stop playing with my hair?” Eddie complains, rolling away a bit and almost kicking Steve in the face.

He moves his hand away from Eddie’s hair and brings it up behind his head. Robin shifts, rolling off of Steve and starting to stand up.

“Where are you going?” Steve complains, needy.

“The bathroom,” Robin deadpans. “Why?”

The giggles kick in and Steve struggles to get the words out. “Cause I have a secret and I need to tell you it.”

The secret in question was Steve’s crush on Eddie. Something he’s buried deeper than he’s willing to admit and something that he’s barely come to accept. But something about the safe feeling of his friends and the weed loosening his thoughts to stop the denial and face the facts made him want to tell her. It’s not the first time that he’s thought that his attraction to Eddie was a fact and not just the desire to be friends. That it wasn’t normal for people to fantasize about kissing their best friends and sharing the same bed all the time.

It took time for Steve to realize that these thoughts were ok for him to have. That he could have feelings for girls in the past while also having feelings for a boy now. That it’s ok for him to be having feelings for a boy at all. He is who he is, and who he likes won’t change that. The Steve he was when he dated girls isn’t different from the Steve who has a crush on a boy. It’s all him, even if he didn’t know he was capable of doing it.

The main problem was that he hadn’t told Robin about it yet, and it seems that his hazy mind decided that now was the best time. Now, when Eddie, the person he has a crush on, is still in the room.

“And this secret is hilarious?” Robin joins in on the giggles but tries to hide it. ��Can you tell me the secret so I can go to the bathroom?”

Steve shakes his head while giggling more, now realizing his mistake and thinking it’s hilarious rather than embarrassing. “No.”

Robin rolls her eyes. “No?”

“Mhm. Can’t tell you.”

“So you have a secret that you need to tell me but can’t tell me. Why is that, Steven?” Robin very annoyingly asks, only pulling out the full name when she wants him to get to the point.

“Eddie’s in the room,” Steve says like it’s the simplest fact there is.

Eddie sits up. “Why can’t I know your secret?”

“Cause it’s a Robin secret. You don’t get to know those.”

Robin rolls her eyes again while Eddie makes an overexaggerated offended look. “I’m going to the bathroom, you two can figure this out while I’m gone.”

Steve stops his giggles to roll over and grab at Robin’s legs as she gets up, attempting to stop her from leaving. She steps out of his grasp and makes her way out of the room. He lays there pouting for a second before bursting out in laughter again.

“So keeping secrets from me is so funny now isn’t it,” Eddie pouts.

“I am so high,” he manages to get out between giggles as he rolls back onto his back.

Eddie rolls his eyes before laying down next to him, their heads next to each other this time. “Yeah, I can tell. You don’t normally laugh this much when you’re not.”

The weed is doing nothing to stop the blush that covers Steve’s face, though his face was plenty red before so maybe it would hide it. “You notice that about me?”

“I notice a lot of things about you, Steve,” Eddie responds sincerely, turning his head to look Steve in the eyes.

Maybe it’s the high, maybe it isn’t, but Steve can’t help but think that the look Eddie has in his eyes is the same one that he finds himself getting every time he looks at Eddie. The simple want of something more that can never be. To be more than all that they are, friends.

A look that tells Steve that if he leaned in for a moment, maybe Eddie wouldn’t back away. Maybe he would let it happen. Maybe he would lean in too. Maybe all of the things Steve has accepted that he wants could come true.

Not that he would even try right now. He’s high, Eddie’s high. No person’s first kiss with someone they really care about should be like this. It should be in a state where they could remember it. Where they could look back on it in the future and remember every detail. Or maybe it should be done when he’s a little bit high. Maybe then he won’t second guess himself at the last minute and actually go through with it. Then if it ends badly, he has the chance of forgetting the little details but is left with the knowledge that this is hopeless. Then he can get over it.

He has the feeling that getting over Eddie would be hard though. The feelings that bubble over in his chest every time he’s around Eddie are all but proof of that. This is different, more than he’s felt about someone in a long time. The most he’s felt about a person since Nancy.

That scares him, still scares him. That he can look at another person the way he looked at her. Or more, he can feel something for someone on that level again, but this time completely differently. He likes Eddie for different reasons then he liked Nancy, but it doesn’t change the way he feels about him. This affection, this crush, this almost love is deep. Steve doesn’t want to mess it up this time.

“I’m not that offended that you won’t tell me you’re secret,” Eddie whispers, like this moment isn’t meant to be heard even though they’re the only ones in the room. “I know that you and Robin share pretty much everything. So if it’s meant for her ears only I understand. I just hope you might be able to tell me one day.”

“Eddie, I-” Steve stammers, cut off by the sound of Robin entering the room again.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #stranger things #ficlet #cw: smoking #angst #getting together #but not yet #pining #things i wont say when i’m sober #cw smoking

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arty-cakes · 6 months

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being both a bretta and zote fan is so so painful actually ppl will always find some way to make sure they never interact again or use the latter to (seriously) demonize zote for stuff he never did while also mischaracterising bretta and i 💥👊💥🥊👊🤜🤛💥🤜👊🤜💥🤜💥🥊 🤜👊👊👊🤜💥 im not good at putting into words why this is frustrating

either make them divorced mortal enemies or reluctant friends who actually enjoy eachother's company either of those are funnier but why make up stuff that didnt happen and then pretend its canon and the reason why they should never talk again..... thats so boring

i was gonna leave this in the tags but no i wanna talk

i know im complaining here but its honestly not an issue i see a-lot like i do see them being enemies or friends in fancontent and to the ppl who do that ily very much. its always cool. and people like my dynamic too and when they let me know it makes me rlly happy lol

but i feel like people need to understand that not every situation is good or bad sometimes they are just. situations. like bretta and zote

and i still feel like there's this general misunderstanding about zote that needs to be cleared up which is that he's not actually.... a liar lol. or i mean the only person he lies to is himself and he's not pretending to be a knight he really BELIEVES he's a knight. don quixote coded like he rlly believes he killed the vengefly king and won the colosseum tournament and whatever. all confirmed by his dreamnail dialogue like it makes it REALLY CLEAR that he believes what hes saying. he's actually having delusions thats why most people in hollow knight choose to help him out its why he cant process life threatening situations. he's still annoying just because of his general personality but NOT because of his delusions. (i'd say something profound about how usefulness ties to worth in most people's subconscious and its rooted in ableism and its why zote hate is so loud and normalized but i dont know how to) basically he is not out here 'manipulating' anyone wtf

bretta's delusional too btw the game literally calls her out (gpz godhome description i think). personally i like that canon decided these two should meet and the result was this awfully tough dreamgod that u can fight 10x that's hilarious to me. if a fan made this up and it never happened in canon i would be like 'holy shit this should be a dlc this WOULD happen' because these two are just like that

also people seriously forget that bretta didnt just leave because of zote she left because of ghost too. girl just had enough of short knights ok she was done with both of them if you bring her back to town she's not suddenly gonna realize ghost is heroic and cool and be apologetic and want them back and zote's mad and jealous. <- this out here is mischaracterising ALL 3 of them its so juvenile what.... and i just dont think she'd care that much about either of them, a lot like how zote barely gives a shit about the infection or never realizes she left, they both have tunnel vision these two are the same do you see it

also tell me he was lying when he called ghost a beast because they are thats all they've been striving for this is a compliment to them i know it

this isnt reallyyy a rant. its a personal grievance because i like them both so i care about their portrayal and interactions and i like it when they aren't lonely. but also they're really light-hearted characters so why not just treat them like that....they go through shit and then they move on easily and go through it all over again. its been 7 years can we cut them a break. i dont wanna see anymore mischaracterising unless its really funny

#i get that this is specifically a hk fandom problem #so my only real solution was to leave the fandom 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️i dont engage with it that much anymore i usually talk to my mutuals+friends #it actually has made me happier!#and yeah there are a lot of fandom problems here i usually ignore them but this is one i actually want to call out a little

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c-h-i-m-es · 3 months

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fushiguro toji

context; reader with daddy issues having a not so romantic relationship with toji

"i knew i'd find you here." you say as you creep behind the older man, taking out a cigarette from the pack. he doesn't need to turn behind to know it's you.

of course he has your voice and scent memorized in his head. "why are you out so late?" he takes a sip of his beer.

you sit down close next to him, "i forgot my lighter." he sighs, taking one out of his pocket. finally turning to look at you, "is he drunk again?" he asks, lighting your cigarette.

you chuckle, "you're asking me that when you're almost drunk yourself?" he chuckles lowly, putting the lighter away and leaning back on the wall, "you know i have high tolerance."

you smile, taking a puff and stare ahead into nothing in particular, "it was getting annoying. staying in the house while they were arguing since.. like forever. geez when can i get some quiet in that house?"

he looks at you, then down at your outfit, noticing the short dress you are wearing, "were you going somewhere or justed wanted to dress up?"

you lean away, trying to show him your whole dress, "why? do i look pretty?" he sighs, shacking his head and looking away from you, "you'll catch a cold."

you scoff, taking another puff of smoke, "look at you trying act as if you're my father." you bring your legs to your chest, wrapping one hand around then and resting your head in your knees, "i was gonna go to this party my friend invited me to. but by the time i got there i didn't feel like it."

"hmm.. will you be going home tonight?"

"i don't know.. depends on my mood i guess." you giggle, putting out the cigarette in the ground and throwing it somewhere ahead, "you remember my friend brianna?" he takes a second to himself, "which one is that one again?"

"the one who likes the captain of volleyball team? please you tell me you remember." he takes another sip from his bottle, finishing it, "ah.. that one. yeah i do, i'm just not good with names. what about her?" he puts the bottle besides him, turning his head to you.

"they started dating." he didn't miss the way your voice dropped the energy from before, "and you don't like it?"

you hug your legs, resting your chin on your knee, trying not to look at toji, "no.. yeah? i mean i am happy for her. i did play a little matchmaking for them. but.. i kinda don't want them to be together?"

you cover your face with your hands, letting out a sigh, "not because i like him or her but it's just.. they look so happy together and i don't like seeing that."

"so you're jealous?" you turn your head to him, opening your mouth to deny it, but the words don't come out when you realize that you are jealous. "does that make me a bad person?"

he keeps his eyes on yours as the cold wind blows, blowing your hair. he also notices the goosebumps raise on your arms. he sighs, he takes off his jacket and leans in towards you. you take a deep breath of his scent, almost leaning into him warmth.

he places his jacket on your shoulders before looking at you for a brief moment and pulling back away from you, "put that on. or you're gonna catch a cold and have to stay home, which i think you don't really like."

you chuckle, getting your arms through the sleeves, "thanks." he ruffles your hair, "no problem. and that doesn't make you a bad person. it's normal to feel jealous, especially when you're used to seeing your parents fight and don't have a serious partner until now. no offence."

you don't know if you should laugh or cry at that, so you end up doing them both. you laugh at his comment and see him crack a smile which then makes you cry. why? well emotions are a bitch. you can never understand them.

"i hate everything. i hate how they are the ones who brought me to life and they act like they did me a favor when i didn't ask to be born." you hide your face in your palm and cry, continuing to complain, "why do i have to take the balm for everything that goes wrong in the family? why am i the one who has to help my mom in the kitchen and do as my dad says while my brother is rotting in his room on his phone?"

"why do they not see their son failing his exams, while me getting a b plus is bad? why do i have to listen to them say how they expect me to do better but cannot see i'm the one doing the most in the family?"

toji just listens to you ramble on about your family and life as he pulls you in onto his arms. he effortlessly lifts you up from the dusty rocky ground and in his lap to make sure you're comfortable.

you hide your face in his chest as he hold your body with his muscular arms, making you feel safe and honestly, just not alone. you continue sobbing while he pats your back and holds you close, making sure you know he's there with you.

after what felt like ages for you, but in reality was just a little over ten minutes, you calm down and you pull away from toji, looking down to avoid his eyes, "i'm sorry you had to see me cry again."

he chuckles, tucking the hair covering your face behind your ears and holding your face in his palm to make you look at him, "i've told you this before, you don't ever have to be sorry for anything with me, yeah? i'll hear you complain, see you cry and calm you down all you need. so just don't keep everything inside you and burden yourself. you need to let them out once in a while."

you sniffle, smiling as you let him wipe the tears from your cheeks, "would it be weird to say that i wish you were the one taking care of me?"

he pauses, then continues patting your head, "i think so."

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader

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manipulatedstars · 11 months

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We'll Be Alright

Genre: fluff, slight angst if you squint, non-idol AU, office romance, coworkers-slash-friends-slash-idiots-to-lovers

Pairing: Mingi x gn!reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Pink Mingi (a valid warning), symptoms of anxiety and panic but nothing serious, mentions of gambling ig, Wooyoung being Wooyoung

Summary: When Mingi overhears some colleagues talking, he realizes he has to finally make his feelings known - easier said than done.

A/N: Can you believe this bitch (me)? Apparently I write now?? This is my first ever finished fic, and I'm eternally grateful to @hobarine for being the greatest beta reader without agreeing to being one in the first place. I love your sexy brain. [clears throat and wipes tears] I'd also like to thank my dear friends who made this possible in the first place - check the end of the fic for what violently inspired me to write this. Feedback and reblogs appreciated! Also - this is not a song fic (well... I suppose it very much is, but not in that way), but I'll Keep You Safe by Sleeping At Last very much set the tone for this, so I highly recommend you check it out.

The first couple times your new coworker had poked his head around the side of your cubicle, it was all business - or at least as much business as it could be considering that new colleague was Song Mingi.

It had all started out with work-related questions when he joined the company and, being one of the company’s top salespeople, you were quickly tasked with showing him around and answering any questions he might have. Your boss had personally offered Mingi the position, so he wanted to make sure the newcomer was going to stay, considering he was a “natural at his job” and would “undoubtedly prove to be a huge asset to the team.” You'd learned not to question your boss's decisions after he'd proven time and time again that he had a gift for picking out new team members, despite his sometimes questionable and unusual methods.

You also didn't question why Mingi, even after he'd grown accustomed to his new work environment, kept sticking around you. He never addressed this but he was shy around other people and you were still the only one he sort-of knew. And you, having grown to enjoy his company despite him being borderline clueless and painfully clumsy at times, weren't gonna complain.

So what started out as, "I'm so so so sorry, could you please explain the printer to me again? I'm so sor-" quickly turned into deeper, more personal questions and conversations. Not in a weird way, of course, he just really enjoyed being around you and wanted to get to know you better. Or so he kept telling himself and others when someone pointed it out. Over time, he had become fairly confident that you two could be considered friends, and he couldn't be happier. So you got used to him just poking his head, adorned with his signature pink hair, around the corner and asking you about movies and books you’d recently enjoyed, your most hated color (because according to him, asking for a favorite everything was overused), and your go-to spots in the area. At times you'd even catch yourself thinking how cute his childlike nature was. The only thing that put a damper on his mood was when one day he was put in a cubicle on the side of the office furthest away from you, for “productivity reasons" - not that it actually kept him from coming over to you just as often. In fact, he claimed to need a rest at your desk from the “extensive workout” they made him do in order to come this way. You never commented on how he was the only one to blame for full-on sprinting through the office space instead of walking like a normal person.

His favorite days are measured by how often, and how loudly, he managed to make you laugh that day. He could get lost in the sound, and knowing he was the reason for it? He wouldn't be able to wipe the smile from his face if he tried.

If only he knew that his visits had started to become the best part of your day, too...

You were thoroughly enjoying each other's presence. Always having lunch together, and taking a little bit too long to walk to your respective cars after work.

It was a regular Tuesday when Mingi made his way to the break room to get his regular drinks - a green tea for you, and a coffee with an obscene amount of sugar for himself - something you’d chided him for, telling him time and time again it would kill him one day.

He didn’t mind waiting for some coworkers to free up the coffee machine. He’d gotten used to it pretty quickly after the second one had broken some time ago. This just meant that the room was less crowded, since the majority of his colleagues had since chosen to head to the cafeteria downstairs instead of having to stand in line like he was now. But in his opinion, they were the ones missing out. He enjoyed getting to know the usual suspects of the breakroom a little better each time they happened to get something to drink when he did - which was the same time every day.

So it would’ve been just a regular coffee run on a regular Tuesday, if it hadn’t been for the conversation happening in front of him. He wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but nothing caught his attention quite like you did. Or, in this case, your name falling from one of the men’s lips. Mingi decided that he didn’t like the way it sounded coming from someone else, someone who probably didn’t even appreciate you in the way you deserved.

The men didn’t seem to notice him standing close by, or simply didn’t care whether they could be overheard or not, because their conversation didn’t seize.

‘’...I mean have you seen them lately?’’

He sure had.

‘’I’d be stupid not to make a move. They’re a catch.’’

NO! Well, yes..but-

’’Isn’t Song head over heels for them though? Kind of a dick move if you ask me…’’

They knew?

’’Come on, we both know he’s too much of a coward to actually go for it.’’

Mingi began to panic. He’d been so enamored with you since the two of you had been introduced that he’d never even entertained the idea of someone else possibly hitting on you. Of course he knew you were pretty. Gorgeous, even - he had eyes after all. He also knew you were the epitome of grace and kindness. Anyone would be lucky to be with you. But he’d been trying slowly and carefully to inch his way into your heart, and now realized that he was so focused that he hadn’t even considered the possibility of anyone else sharing the same end goal.

God he was so stupid-

He knew he had to act. Fast. Despite his insecurities trying to convince him that you’d surely be better off with someone who didn’t stumble over their words, someone who was confident and could sweep you off your feet, he knew he would forever regret it if he didn’t at least try.

Even if the chances may be slim, he couldn’t live with himself if he lost the opportunity to make you his, especially if he lost it to his own mind.

You were just typing up a response to Park Seonghwa from HR, who had once again asked you to consider joining their team, when suddenly, a loud BANG startled you out of your thoughts. You joined some of your other coworkers in getting up from their seats to see what the commotion was about, and you couldn’t help a bright smile from lighting up your face the moment you saw Mingi standing in the doorway. Though your smile dropped just as quickly when you noticed the look of pure distress on his face, his eyes scanning across the room rapidly. The second your eyes met, he started hurriedly making his way over to you, ignoring any of the worried and questioning glances and occasional comments that people were throwing his way.

What was going on?

‘’Mingi, what-’’ your question was cut short when he gripped your shoulders the moment he reached your cubicle. He was panting, eyes blown wide and never leaving yours, as if he was afraid you’d disappear the moment he so much as blinked.

As if he was only now noticing the stares and whispers directed his way, he glanced around the room timidly. His nerves seemed to catch up with him, because he turned and went to leave as quickly as he’d arrived - if it hadn't been for your quick reflexes and your hand curling around his wrist, stopping him in his motion.

It took you gently calling his name a couple of times for him to finally turn around to face you again - and now you could see the sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

He was also avoiding eye contact.

Now you were really worried. Was he sick? Did something happen?

"Hey, what's wrong?'' No answer. ''You look really pale... are you not feeling well?"

When he stayed silent again, you brought one hand up to his forehead - an instinctive action for you, but definitely not what he’d expected, because his face quickly went from looking sickly pale to flushing a deep scarlet.

Your eyes widened when you noticed how warm his skin was, placing your other hand on one of his cheeks. "Mingi, you're burning up. Do you need to see a doctor?" When again he didn't answer, you turned to grab your things, preparing to carry this man to the nearest hospital if need be, but now it was his hand around your wrist that kept you from moving further.

You glanced from where he was touching you with a gentle yet desperate, clammy hand and back to his face, noting the panic in his eyes that were still refusing to meet your own.

Any stranger passing by would've assumed you were approaching a stray kitten, desperately trying not to scare it off, but you knew how much of a flight risk Mingi could be when things got too much to handle. "Hey, you know you can talk to me, right? I'm only trying to help you," you said with the gentlest voice you could muster despite your racing thoughts.

Yeah, that was the main problem, he thought, you're the only person who makes this job bearable, and I can't lose you by messing this up. You bring both your hands up to cup his cheeks when you notice the tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Hey, look at me.’’ you dipped your head trying to lure his eyes into meeting yours. ‘’You won't lose me. Why would you?’’ a gentle brush of your thumbs over his pretty cheekbones ‘’How could I make it through one day at this crappy office, with its crappy coffee and the crappy AC that’s broken more often than not, without you?"

Oh shit, his eyes widened even further. Did I say that out loud? Oh god-

He was about to bolt again, mentally calculating how long it would take him to make a detour to a wig store or a hairdresser on his way to the airport, determined to start over in a faraway country, when he involuntarily locked eyes with you. He never understood how you did it, and he was sure there was no possible scientific explanation for the effect you had on him, because the way your eyes, filled with nothing but kindness and understanding, always managed to calm him down instantly was nothing short of magical.

You had to be a heavenly being sent to look out for him - him, this mere human - and him alone. It was in this moment that he remembered what you'd told him time and time again. Realized that he really could say what had been running rampant in his mind for months now. Reminded himself that he could be open and vulnerable with you. You, who had never shown him anything but support and guidance, even when you were having a bad day yourself. Alright. You, who always managed to find a peaceful solution to any argument or tension that arose in the office… He'd be alright. You, who somehow didn't hold grudges even when people had wronged you. You'd both be alright.

You must've noticed the change in his demeanor, because your lips curled up into a small version of one of your beautiful smiles that he loved so much. Shit, he wouldn't be surprised if you could hear his pulse slowing down, his heart rate finally dropping to a point that wouldn't have sent an entire hospital wing into a panic had he been hooked up to a monitor, with news reporters flocking to his bed trying score an interview to find out how the hell he had managed to survive that.

So he closed his eyes, which were now stinging in protest to having been kept open wide for way too long, and took a deep, if shaky, breath.

That was all you, too. Your encouragement to face difficult situations despite every fiber of his being telling him to run. Your influence. You were the one who told him time and time again that things were going to be okay. You showed him that he was in control of his fate and his feelings, and that even when it felt like the whole world was against him, you'd be by his side. No wonder the HR department was desperate to get you to join them…

Mingi couldn't run away now if he tried. He owed you this much. If nothing else, he owed you an explanation, and honesty. He wanted to make you proud.

So with another deep breath, this one a little less shaky (the first one had you worried he might burst into full sobs at any second), he covered your hands in his much larger ones, pulled them from his face and intertwined your fingers with his between your bodies. When he finally opened his eyes again, they were full of determination.

This shift in tone, with him being calmer and more confident than you'd ever seen him, had you thankful for the grasp he had on you, needing his hands around yours in support as your breath hitched when you noticed the raw adoration in his gaze.

His voice, beautifully airy and deeper than you swore you'd ever heard it before, sent shivers down your spine. There was everything yet nothing as you got lost in his gorgeous, warm eyes, and now his voice too. You weren't in your office anymore. You were standing barefoot in a forest, surrounded by majestic trees and vibrant wildlife, a gentle breeze almost calling out your name. You were on a beach, the warm sand comforting between your toes, the waves softly crashing behind you, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your shoulders. You decided then and there that his eyes' gorgeous shade of brown was your new favorite color.

It took his voice calling your name softly to bring you back to the present moment, a bashful smile on his stupidly handsome face. Had he always been this pretty?

"Please tell me you heard what I just said?'' he asked shyly, knowing full well you'd completely spaced out.

"Uh..." You grimaced. At that, he couldn't help but turn his face downward as he murmured to himself, but you were so focused on him now that you had no trouble making out the words. "Oh my god, I can't believe you're making me do this again". He would've buried his face in his hands had they not been occupied with the much more important job of holding the world's greatest treasure.

He hadn't missed the way you'd gotten lost in his eyes, and it only fueled his confidence. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, it was the same way he’d been looking at you more often than not since he'd met you.

He took a deep breath. "I said..." he paused as he brought one of his hands up to your cheek, his other hand easily holding both of yours in their previous position.

You felt yourself blushing. Hard.

Stroking his thumb over your cheek gently, he continued "...that I like you. I like like you. No, scratch that -’’ a gentle shake of his head ‘’-I'm crazy about you.’’ His gaze dropped again as he started rambling. ‘’I hope this doesn't make things weird between us, and I'm so sorry if I read things wrong, and if y-" he started mumbling, nerves catching up to him again, insecurities trying to invade his mind and win back precious land. But you noticed. And you smiled at him in adoration, and squeezed his hand in reassurance. This made him look up at you again. You're going to be alright, you tried to convey with your eyes, we're going to be alright.

Another deep breath, followed by a lighthearted chuckle at his own antics.

"The point is, I really like you, a-and I would love to take you out on a date? O-only if you want to of co-" he couldn't finish the sentence, because you promptly freed your hands and grabbed his face again, pulling him down to you (what they fed him as a kid to get him so tall, you'd really have to ask his parents one day) and pressed your lips to his in a firm and reassuring kiss.

His eyes widened again, cheeks heating back up, but he melted into you as soon as the first shock wore off, arms wrapping around you almost on instinct. As if holding you was their only job, and what they were meant to be doing all his life. He pulled you up to his level seemingly without effort before getting lost in the next kiss. Feeling your fingers running through his hair, he groaned inwardly. Mingi could do this forever, and he would if you let him. He'd figure out a way to survive without oxygen. If not, he decided the team would be fine without him.

You only pulled apart when you noticed the cheers and clapping that had erupted around you, even the occasional wolf-whistle coming from your coworkers, most of who'd gotten up from their seats again, if they’d even settled down after the shock of Mingi’s arrival. You hadn't seen them this lively since the day your boss had ordered a coffee and snack truck to the parking lot in celebration of sealing a deal everybody had worked hard to finally make happen. The majority of them had their headsets still attached, and had you not been so ecstatic you would've felt bad for whoever was getting their ears damaged on the other end of their lines.

"About damn time, Song..."

"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!

"He finally grew a pair!"

These were only some of the lines being thrown at the two of you that had you blushing furiously, and Mingi hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You could've sworn you saw a few fist bumps and some money being passed around, but you decided not to dwell on it for your own sanity’s sake...

After the noise had mostly died down, Mingi put you back on your feet just so he could press his forehead to yours, both of your breaths mingling. Maybe oxygen wasn't so bad after all if he got to share it with you.

You almost missed the signature fake gagging sound of your most obnoxious co-worker, but before you could chase him off like you usually would when he started to tease you about the way you, in his words, "spent more time staring at Mingi than actually working", the telltale sound of a palm making not-so-gentle contact with the back of someone's head (and the dramatic pained yelp that followed) made you realize that your boss had already taken care of Wooyoung himself. You swore he kept an extra set of eyes on the mischievous man-child just so he wouldn't miss an opportunity to reprimand him.

The same boss who sent you a curt nod and a small smile, before telling “the two lovebirds" to get back to work. Though you knew that he’d want to have a word with Mingi later, seeing as how the force with which he’d slammed open the door must’ve left at least an indent on the wall behind it.

It was safe to say you didn't get much work done the rest of that day, but you also never had to eat lunch alone again, or walk to your car without a strong, loving hand holding your own...or drive to work yourself, really.

Even years later, with your left ring finger now permanently occupied, you loved to remind him how proud of him you were.

✨Lore time✨

Here's how everything started:

Bonus:

(I was, in fact, not almost done)

A loving shoutout to my dear friends for planting this idea in my head. And thank you to everyone who read through it and left valuable feedback - you know who you are 💜

©manipulatedstars 2023 - do not steal, copy, repost, translate or otherwise plagiarize my work. If you do, I'll eat all your cereal and pour milk in your shoes.

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mika-no-sekai-blog · 8 months

Text

With the last breath IV

Word count: 1500+

Warnings: mentions of eating disorder

Part III || Part V

This week was a real rollercoaster full of bad luck. But since this chapter is ready I can post it. I'm working on the next one and I'd love to cut it somewhere to make it into two chapters, but can't find good place so it may come out as one really long one.

I'm sorry for any mistakes. English isn't my first language 😅

Several days passed since you woke up in Azriel's bed. You hid the dress soaked in his scent to the bottom of the wardrobe, often sitting down and burying face into the fabric. His scent helped you calm down and scare away bad dreams.

Since that day quite a lot had changed.

At first you thought you were crazy. Things were moving around or suddenly appearing in front of you. Repeatedly you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, but when you turned around, nobody was there. It took you some time to figure it out. But once you found out there were Azriel's shadows following you around, it didn't scare you anymore. They were quite handy especially when you needed to find something.

As it made you incredibly happy that he cared enough to keep an eye on you, it was also a reminder of the biggest mistake you'd ever done, making you feel down and your stomach twist at times.

The shadows followed you literally everywhere which was sometimes really uncomfortable. You were sure they informed him about everything you did on that particular day, but how much exactly did they tell him? It was nerve wrenching. You could only hope they would keep sensitive information to themselves.

Another big change was the shadowsinger himself. As soon as you entered the library he was there. No matter where you worked or how many times you had to move to another floor during the day, you always spotted him somewhere nearby reading book or doing some paperwork.

The first few days it made you nervous and you couldn't really concentrate on work. Even if you tried you wouldn't be able to count how many times you caught yourself staring at him, admiring his beautiful face, strong body, big hands.. and daydreaming. Then somehow you got used to his silent presence. It always made your day seeing him there, making you grin even while aligning and dusting the books.

And that wasn't everything. He often came to you to talk with you. At those moments your heart always started to beat much faster, mouth went dry and your palms started to sweat. It didn't give much sense because after the decades you could hardly call each other acquaintance, strangers more likely, but it was happening. You weren't in position to ask why suddenly he changed his mind so radically, nor you didn't even want to complain. You were happy for this change, giving you a faint hope that maybe.. someday.. you could be at least friends.

When it happened for the first time, you were so shocked you turned red like tomato to the roots of the hair and ran away. Next time you were mentally ready and managed to stutter few words. But you weren't the only one struggling. Azriel seemed to be just as nervous as you. Nevertheless he kept coming even several times a day for word or two. After few days both of you got used to it and were able to talk normally.

First, he would talk to you just about such ordinary things like weather or ask about your wellbeing, but soon enough he started to ask about your current life, past or likes and dislikes.

Lately you spent a lot of time discussing about the books you were reading. You were surprised to find out he read novels and often the ones you liked. He even gave you some recommendations for interesting ones.

You got up early as every morning and prepared for the day. Before leaving the room you checked out the weather and time. 'Should be okay now,' you thought to yourself and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast with few shadows at your heels.

Of course you could eat with other priestesses at dining hall the meal House served you, but there was something relaxing about making your own meal. That's why you always used inner circle's kitchen. But it wasn't the only reason. You didn't like people watching or commenting on how much you put on your plate. You even minded being watched while eating.

During the years living with Mor and Illyrian males here, you figured out their morning routines and knew when no one would be in the kitchen.

What a shock it was when you found out that the kitchen always empty at this time, was occupied. By Azriel!

He was standing behind the kitchen island putting scrambled eggs on the plate. There were already several other plates with toasts, bacon, cut fruits and vegetables set on the table.

He hadn't notice you yet, so there was still chance to get away and let him have his breakfast. You turned around, planing to try your luck later, but the shadows had an idea of their own. They slowly floated around you towards their master.

"Good morning," Azriel said while washing the pan in the sink, back turned to you. His voice was still raspy and that sound made your heart stutter and the heat spread in your lower belly.

"Good morning," you answered, taking a step into the kitchen from you hideaway. You frowned at traitorous shadows, but they just danced around calling you closer. "I'm sorry. I don't want to disturb you. I'll go." You wanted to leave quickly, but he stopped you.

"Would you join me for breakfast?" back still turned to you, he asked. Eyes widening you shifted nervously on your feet. It was too tempting, but it would be just the two of you. You really didn't want to have his full attention while eating. You bit your lower lip, fighting with yourself.

You looked at his strong form still washing already clean pan. You could read the tension in his posture, but you weren't sure what caused it. In the end the heart won the fight and you accepted the invitation. His tense shoulders visibly relaxed.

Azriel put the pan away and took two plates and glasses. As he turned to the table his lightly flushed cheeks came into view. With shiny eyes of hazel colour with golden flecks he smiled shyly at you which you returned. This side of him was new to you and you were more than eager to learn more. You'd never seen him behave like this with other females. A small flame of hope lit up in your chest.

Your heart was beating faster with each step you took towards the table. You halted before sitting down, examining food on plates. Suddenly you became nauseous. The food looked yummy and smelled amazing, but there was too much. Much more than two people could possibly eat.

"Is something wrong?" Azriel asked noticing your pale face. His eyes slightly narrowed.

"It looks amazing," you tried to smile. "Is Cassian coming too?"

"He's training with priestesses right now," Azriel tilted his head to the side with unreadable expression, few strands of dark hair falling into his eyes. "Do you want him to come?"

"No," you said quickly. "It's just.. there's so much food.." You felt the heat burning your cheeks.

"It should be enough for two of us," he said, a smirk tugged corners of his mouth upward. You had nothing to say to that, so you just swallowed hard and sat down. Azriel handed you plate and started filling his own. Following his example you took a piece of bacon and a bit of scrambled eggs.

"Would you like some freshly baked bread? It's from that new bakery on the bank of Sidra that opened last week," Azriel offered you. With nervous smirk you took small piece.

You started to eat. Taking the first bite of eggs you blinked in surprise, nervousness forgotten for awhile.

"It's so delicious. I didn't know you can cook so good,"you looked at him grinning. He blushed, but grinned too.

"I'm glad if you like it."

"I love it." You took another bite and then another. While you were eating Azriel kept offering you different goodies he'd prepared until you tried at least a piece of everything on the table. By the time you finished you were so full you thought you were going to burst. It was the most delicious food you'd ever eaten, but you were sure you won't be able to eat anything till next morning.

Azriel finished last bits and together you cleaned the table and washed dishes.

"Thank you for amazing meal," you said as you put last plate to its place.

"Thank you for keeping me company," he leaned against the counter putting his hands into the pockets of trousers. "Are you going to the library?"

"No, it's still too early. I thought I would return to my room and read for awhile."

"I see." His smile faded for a second, but it was back in a blink of eye. "So.. I guess I'll see you later."

With that you returned to your room thinking about his unusual behaviour and about the huge change that happened since he saved you. Even though it was still new to you and hard to believe, you liked it and hoped it's real. With every second you spent with him your heart swelled with love and you fell harder for him.

#azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel x you #azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar

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inkskinned · 1 year

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i've been in pretty much constant pain for the past 4 months. i have a slipped disc. the mri this weekend finally confirmed what i'd already suspected. mostly, i just put up with it.

i've been in a pretty bad mental space since winter began. my brain is leaking out from between my ears. i just don't care enough to listen to the rabid wet whispering of hope. i'm mostly just bored of being here, the swaddled joyless apathy.

the back pain ebbs and flows, but it's there, so i take care of it. i do my physical therapy. i get in with a specialist. i'm lucky - there's no immediate need for surgery. it's bad, but it could be worse. when i talk about how i did it (it was a very bad sneeze), i usually start laughing. it's funny! i am never comfortable, but hey. i'm young. i'll bounce back, or so they keep saying.

i just found out it's not normal to wake up every night with a category-five panic attack. i'm lucky if i am still able to remember how to spell my name right. i spend my days in a weird blank haze, exhausted, desperate for respite - only to be unable to rest during the night. i say with a laugh - i really hate it when my mental illnesses start working together. i mean, sure. unionize. it's fine. i have lost all sense of myself. there's nowhere that's actually warm in my mind.

i feel bad how often i complain about my back. my friends immediately shush my apology. dude, you slipped a disc. continue complaining.

as a kid, i think i only really admitted to the bad things... twice. for some reason, when he didn't just dismiss it - it made my dad angry. he slammed a door at me. you're fucking ungrateful. what do you have to be sad for?

what an odd delight: the slipped disc gave me the oddest wave of relief. i'm allowed to actually hurt about this thing.

i have chronic conditions which aren't "real" things. i could write a novel on the weird ways people respond to my POTS & the rest of my fun physical acronyms. i am kind of ashamed to admit - i like the way it feels to be able to say well, because of a slipped disc. a slipped disc is a real thing. a slipped disc is serious and painful. there's diagrams and infographics about slipped discs. upon my diagnosis, they immediately offered me narcotics.

i haven't been able to get up out of bed for more than a few hours. i do less and less and less and less. i have started to sit down in the shower. sighing my way from deadline to deadline. this again. in one day and out the other. people tell me i don't really need my meds. i have run out of times saying i have depression, it's become almost transparent. it's so bad my therapist suggested meeting more than once a week, but i don't want to worry her, so i never finish setting up a second meeting. every creative spark in my soul has been entirely ravaged - but that's just capitalism, baby. i don't even take the day off of work. i just show up and do a bad job and get yelled at for it.

it's not real, after all. the pain is just imagined.

#spilled ink #warm up #is this clear?#i have chronic pain & illnesses which i will not be discussing on this blog #and i will say that the way i'm treated about those is often just as bad #but since i don't have the room to give it justice on this post #it's ... about that weird sensation of...#''oh this is a real thing that actually hurts people''#when u have spent ur life in pain and being told that pain isn't real #feeling like you are '''allowed''' to finally ACTUALLY feel pain #that sense -- oh thank god it's actually bad #idk maybe im a bad person #but sometimes i do like to write about. the actual symptoms of mental illness #and sometimes the Illnesses Do Make Me Think Bad Thoughts #so if this is weird just tell me i'll bring it up w/my therapist ig

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lostbetweenvampiresandmusic · 3 months

Note

14 & 23 for David x Reader. 🥺 pretty please, no particular genre in mind so you can use your imagination 🖤

Thank you so much for requesting, love! I hope you'll like this💜 it got way longer than I expected, and a whole bit sadder and angstier than I initially intended. Still, I hope you like this!

My requests are still open and if you want you can use this promptlist!

14. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

23. "Why wouldn't I save you?"

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It had been three months since I met him, two since we started to hang out regularly. Two months since I met his friends, saw his place, and went out for dinner with him. And yet, if you asked me if we were a thing - whether that was a couple or a "friends with benefits" kind of thing - I wouldn't be able to answer you. We did things normal couples did. We went on dates, we kissed sometimes, we even had sex. And yet, he was cold and distant, and I could never quite read him. I didn't know what he thought of me, if he actually cared for me, or just saw me as a fling. I didn't even know if I cared about that - but even so, I think I would like to know. Just to know where I'd stand with him.

Even though I had many doubts and thoughts plaguing my mind, I still couldn't help but feel excited whenever I saw him walking towards me on the boardwalk. He was alone this time, his friends probably going off to torment some tourists.

"I didn't expect to see you so early," I smiled at him.

"You're not complaining, are you?" David asked, and I couldn't help but quickly shake my head.

"Absolutely not! Just surprised, is all. What are we going to do tonight?"

"We're going to the cave. Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I just got here. Can we get some noodles? I've heard about this new place, and I've been dying to try it."

"Sure," I didn't catch his smile. If I had, I might have known what he thought - if even for a moment. If I had seen, none of the shitshow that would go down later that evening would have happened.

We got some food ready to go, and before I knew it, we were racing down the boardwalk heading towards the cave. He was speeding a lot, more so than usual. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I refrained myself from doing so. I didn't know what, but something about him seemed as if he was nervous. I was certain that if I asked him now, he would not only not hear me, but he also would not answer me. I held on tighter, closing my eyes as he drove even faster. I didn't dare to look, too afraid to see that he might lose control of the bike, hit a tree, or worse.

I screamed as he suddenly, with great force, pulled the breaks.

"What's going on with you?!" I asked as I tried to catch my breath.

David ignored me, instead walking down the stairs leading to the cave.

"David! Answer me, dammit!"

"Come get your food."

I sighed. That man could be so frustrating! How much effort did it take to actually give a straight answer. "Oh sorry, didn't sleep well, didn't mean to scare you" or a "The boys and I had a fight, don't worry about it" could have been enough. It would explain everything. But no, he just ignored my question, left me at the top of the hill. Bloody asshole.

As I followed him inside after gathering not only my thoughts but also my courage, I froze. The cave was covered in candles, every where.

"David?" I called out, not seeing him anywhere. I jumped when he suddenly appeared beside me. "What's this?"

"You drive me insane."

I looked at him puzzled, my look enough to tell him I needed him to explain what he meant. He ignored my silent question, instead walking away from me. Not knowing what else to do, I followed him.

"How do I drive you insane? Do you really think that I feel any differently?"

David chuckled. "Is that you saying you want more out of this?"

"Maybe? I don't know? All I know is that I can't do this much longer. I don't want to circle around each other and not be anything to each other."

"I don't do love."

I froze. After two months, is this how he wanted to break it off? We're those two months, with dates, dinners, and sex really just that? Had I been an easy fix for him? I huffed, turned around, and stomped out of the cave. If he didn't want me, fine. He wouldn't get me.

As I ran up the stairs, I noticed how slippery they had gotten. It had started to rain. Ice cold streams of water poured down on me, but I didn't care. I had to get away. I had to make up my mind and choose for me, not for a man who was unwilling to admit he might have liked me - and not even brave enough to straight up say that our companionship - for lack of a better word - was over.

I ran up the final steps, yelping as I slipped in the mud. I slid far away from the stairs, and before I knew it, I couldn't feel the ground under me anymore. Desperately my hands tried to cling on to something, but it was of no use.

I fell.

And I fell fast.

I screamed.

I cried out.

I didn't dare to look down. I knew the cliffs underneath were sharp. I knew the water was shallow. I knew that this was it. I would die.

I closed my eyes, preparing for impact.

It never came.

Strong arms wrapped around me. Someone held me close. Held me tight. "You're fine, you're safe. You can open your eyes now."

"D-David?"

Why would he save me after telling me to go? As if he read my mind, he answered my question as he looked me over.

"Why wouldn't I save you?"

"You practically broke up with me."

He chuckled. "I had a poor choice of words."

I frowned. What in the hell had he been trying to say then, if this wasn't it?"

"What?"

"You drive me insane. Every single thing you do makes me want to worship the ground you walk on. You don't even know you're doing it. I don't do love, but for you -" he paused as he looked me over once again to make sure I really was alright, "For you, I am willing to try."

"You're in love with me? I thought - I thought you hated me! That -"

"Like I said, poor choice of words. If you want some eloquent poetic shit, you probably have to ask Dwayne or Paul, they're better at that kind of stuff."

I couldn't help but giggle, even though a part of me was still rather angry. Damn that fucking infuriating man. How difficult was it to say, "I like you?"! Was he afraid his carefully constructed image would crumble if he said so, or was he afraid someone would hear that he could was actually quite gentle and sweet and not a big baddie?

"Why the fuck were you so cold and distant towards me, then? If you love me-"

"I didn't know how to tell you."

"You are an idiot."

He actually looked a little ashamed before nodding. "Yeah."

"You do realise you really hurt me, right?"

"Yeah. I didn't mean to."

I sighed, nodding. I looked at my hands, noticing they were covered in tiny cuts because of the fall. I bit my lip, wondering how the evening had ended up in such a mess.

"Let me see," David took my hands, wiping some dirt off of them. He was quiet for a moment, before looking at me with a small grin. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

A soft smile appeared on my face. As much as an idiot he had been, he was also sorry - and I know realised that the candles, and him being so distant had been because of how much he had tried to make a romantic evening happen, even though it was very much unlike him. As much as I still felt a little conflicted, I couldn't stay truly mad at him. He was sorry. So I looked at him.

"How about you just kiss me instead?"

#the lost boys #marko #david #paul #tlb #dwayne #the lost boys 1987 #tlb 1987 #the lost boys x reader #lost boys

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shadesofdeviant · 27 days

Text

Random 9-1-1 Thoughts

Listen, I love Buddie. I've been a Buddie clown since Eddie's very first episode. Buck made a face at Eddie getting dressed, Whatta man played and I went "...well shit" as my fingers took a life of their own and started writing fic.

I also adore BuckTommy, Or TEvan or whatever wierd name we're going with. The chemistry was beautiful, it felt natural and passionate in a way none of Buck's previous relationships have and I am HERE for it.

But if we are going to get Eddie having a sexuality crisis of his own...

Do you know what I'd like to happen? For Eddie to be somewhere on the Ace spectrum. whether sexual or romantic or both.

The man who has only really felt comfortable both romantically and physically with his late wife who was his high school sweetheart.

Who forms strong platonic friendships that to most outsiders might look romantic or flirtatious in nature, but the concept of which never crosses his mind.

Who moves too fast and fails to let that bond develop, or pushes himself into doing what society/family expects of him and then wonders why he ends up having literal panic attacks.

This man says he hates being forced to date, who stresses about performing normally on them. He judges his eligibility with women based on how much time he wants to spend with them, based on the idea of them, how much his kid likes them, not because they're attractive or he feels a connection with them. Who complains that sex complicates things, who gets teased mercilessly by the others for not being good at dating or knowing what to do. Who freaks out at the idea of being set up on dates and then promptly drops said blind date like a hot potato and yet somehow ends up with a new friend.

I'd adore for Buddie to go canon.

I'd adore for BuckTommy to remain canon.

I would go feral for Queer Platonic Buddie (maybe with extra Tommy) where Eddie comes to terms with the fact he's not broken or weird, that he's perfectly fine just the way he is, that he doesn't need to follow societal norms and can get everything he needs from those around him without having to throw himself into something alloromantic/sexual.

I also really feel like I need to write this so...I guess it's on the list haha.

#rintrash #9-1-1 #Eddie Diaz #Evan 'Buck' Buckley #Buddie #Tommy Kinard #BuckTommy #I am an acespectrum!Eddie truther #Whether thats ace or aro or demi or gray etc.#I see so much of myself in him at times #This is just me rambling haha #Feel free to ignore me

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firegirl888101 · 7 months

Note

in honor of spooky month, I think the harbingers going trick-or-treating(or watching a horror movie) would be entertaining

(I'm the same anon who asked about the "reader who's good at drawing thing" :D)

You have specifically asked, and I have answered dear friend!

The Harbingers and Y/N are still in modern world and NOT Teyvat. Just thought I'd put that out there.

Also, I added something my family and I used to do when I was really young! (Obviously this was way before lockdown so there was no shortage of toilet paper lol) Not sure if its the regular thing but I hardly see the tradition on the media anywhere...

This was posted before the Insatiable Madness (9) was published! (meaning there could be some things mentioned to keep in mind for the future of the series... 👀)

Decided to post this 2 hours early because I was bored and didn't want to wait for the 12 o'clock mark lol.

Insatiable Madness

Diverted-Dimension (Halloween 2023)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Where am I..? This doesn't feel like the main storyline.

Reader is Gender Neutral!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You mean to tell me it's normal to wrap yourself in waste as a tradition?" Signora threw the toilet paper at you, her face telling you all you need to see.

"Pleeeeease? I promise it's clean!" You begged her, picking up the toilet paper she threw at you and offering it to back her.

"Absolutely not. Why would someone, besides Childe, have fun by wrapping themselves up in that nonesense?"

"I agree with Signora." Pantalone gently coughed into his hand. "Why would one choose to have filth around them for amusement?"

"You lot are sour little bitches."

"How DARE you--"

"Either way, it can't be too bad. Especially since this tradition has been around for atleast a century." You smiled at Childe rolling around in the toilet paper.

"I think it looks fun!" Columbina pitched in, her head wrapped in toilet paper delicately.

"Of course you would, you brown-noser. Anything you see Y/N do is an instant hobby to your personality." Scaramouche glared at her, sitting on the sofa behind her.

"Well, not like you had a personality to begin with."

All the Damselette did in response was giggle, and continued to look your way. "It's my turn now!"

"Your turn to do... what?"

"To wrap you of course! Didn't you say the whole point was who could wrap each other the fastest?" She made a 'grabby hands' motion.

Oh dear, this doesn't look good.

"Yeah, Y/n..." Scaramouche teased, tossing the toilet paper in his hand up and down. "Let's wrap you up."

"You changed your mind very quickly. Are you sure you weren't feeling sad that you were missing out?"

"Of course not." He scoffed. "Hey, Damsel. I'm going for their mouth first, you do their legs."

"Perfect, that way they can't run away!~" She giggled once more.

Haha... I'm in danger-

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

You don't know how long you've been tied up with toilet paper. You reckon it's been a good hour of Columbina singing as she worked on your 'Wedding Gown'.

Scaramouche also had fun wrapping your entire head very tightly. Thankfully, Pierro cut your eyes and nose loose when you complained you couldn't breathe.

"Y/N!! You look so pretty!" Columbina clapped in delight, a wide smile on her face.

Scaramouche just stayed silent, clutching a hand to his mouth trying not to laugh.

"Thanks everyone, I definitely see you trying to help me." Is what you would have said if it weren't for the tight toilet paper wrapped around your mouth, practically gagging you.

"Now, now," Pulcinella interjected the laughing, holding your back when realising you were about to fall over.

"Let's not tease them too much, they planned our night out did they not?"

"Oh, right, they did!" Childe piped up, looking behind him and cringing at the strips of toilet paper he shredded.

I am not cleaning that up for him.

"You rarely ever let us out of the house, I'm excited to see the neighbourhood you live in!"

"One, there's a very good reason for why I don't let anyone out the house. Two, how on Earth could you be excited about my neighbourhood?" You finally managed to rip through the tissue around your mouth.

"Who said you could unsilence yourself? I enjoyed the brief moment of peace we had without your squealing." Sandrone scoffed.

"I did, plus, I was starting to choke on it and my throat feels very dry now... No, Dottore, I don't need any of your pois-- I mean medicine."

"What an insult." He shook his head in disappointment.

"Should we all get ready to begin going out? Before we know it, it'll be 9 o'clock and people will begin to walk around." You suggested, watching Dottore roll his eyes.

"I agree, however, you never mentioned why we'll be going out tonight." Arlecchino said.

"Well, on Halloween there's this tradition we have---"

"Another one?" Signora sighed, her boredom being evident from her tone.

"...You do realise festivals don't just have one tradition right?" You sighed back at her.

"As I was saying, on Halloween we dress up as things we find 'spooky', and 'scary'. Some even cosplay as their favourite fictional characters! Then, at night, you walk around with neighbourhood with bowls knocking on doors for sweets! It's pretty delicious I'm not gonna lie."

"Can't we just dress up as ourselves? I often hear my soldiers gossiping about us Harbingers when they think I'm not listening. Are we scary?" Capitano suggested with a heavy voice.

"I mean... sure, you do come off that way when you walk around killing people just because you can't find one person."

"Haha, very funny." Sandrone looked at you, tapping her finger on the arm of the sofa opposite to you.

"I hate sugar." Scaramouche rolled his eyes at your explanation.

"Oh yeah! I forgot you don't like anything sweet!"

"Anyway, I would prefer it if you didn't dress as yourselves, you'll look very out of place." You sighed.

"Yeah, no. I'm not dressing up at all."

"Well, I'll be going as an angel! I saw on your... phone? (I think that's what you called it) A lot of people were dressing up as one and I wanted to see if it suited me!" Columbina showed a white dress in front of your eyes.

"Where did you get that? I didn't give you permission to go into my room - especially my wardrobe. I haven't even worn it yet!"

"I thought it looked really pretty!"

"That is not a solid argument!" You argued back.

"Now, now, you two..." Pulcinella put his hands on your shoulder and hers.

"Let us not show animosity towards eachother."

"Oh, so she can steal my shit but can't atleast apologise for keeping it in her possessions without telling me?"

"You didn't even notice it was gone. I don't understand the source of your anger~" She giggled at you.

"You're lucky you're a harbinger keeping me here against my will."

"Are you two finished now?" Pierro grumbled. "We have a long evening ahead of us."

"'We'? I thought you insisted you didn't want to come?"

"That is true, however, I cannot help but worry about the Damselette and the likes of you going off together causing trouble only the Tsaritsa will remember."

"Dude, she's not even here--"

"Let's change topic." Arlecchino sighed to herself, watching Columbina run off with your dress somewhere.

"She asked me to also dress as an angel with her, the one with black wings instead."

"Oh, you mean a fallen angel?" You sighed, a headache beginning to form inside your mind.

"Let me guess, you want to borrow one of my dresses too?"

"No, that wouldn't be courteous. Besides, it would be very tight on me if I were to wear one."

"Thanks for insinuating I'm small."

"That is not what I meant."

"Heyy, Decider? What should I wear?" Childe enthusiastically threw himself on the sofa next to you.

You shrugged as a reply.

"If you don't assign me a character, I'll steal the Captain's clothes and dress up as him."

"Please don't." Capitano walked off.

"Just be a corpse. You'll be one in less than a hundred years anyway." Scaramouche suggested, smirking at his own joke.

"I actually like that idea a lot." You smiled with him. "Rather than a corpse, just be a zombie."

"Ehhhh? You mean like that girl at Bubu Pharmacy!? Y/N you're so mean!"

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"You... You lot are so boring."

"Fuck off, I am not in the mood." Scaramouche folded his arms with a scornful face.

One by one the harbingers all met outside your front door. The idea was they were supposed to come out when they'd dressed up and finished getting ready.

Unfortunately, they all didn't dress up and went in their Harbinger coats.

"Alright, I understand some of you not wanting to dress up. But what happened to those of you saying you would?" You asked, feeling slightly betrayed.

"Believe me, I was going to!" Childe looked at you guiltily.

"No you didn't you big liar, you took one look at the costumes available and left the room." Arlecchino scolded him.

"I'm sorry okay!? Won't you forgive me?" He blinked very fast, mocking a begging expression.

"I'll be honest," You struggled to contain your laughter. "I really wasn't expecting anyone to dress up."

"Ehhh? But what about you putting options for us to dress as?"

You simply shrugged with a wonky smirk.

"Well, I'm glad we have all what happened earlier behind us, as well as getting out of the house in one piece." Pierro coughed into his hand, eyeing Columbina.

"So... You're not mad at me for stea-- borrowing your dress?" She asked you hopefully.

"No, I'm still pissed off."

"Aww..."

"Can we just leave, please?" Dottore groaned into his hand. "I'd like to finish the episode of the show I was watching."

"And I would like to distract myself from all of you impudent bastards - but oh look, I'm forced against my will." Sandrone gave a frown to you.

"Haha, very funny." You mocked her words from earlier, the mechanic's frown turning into an angry look.

"Oh... my... gosh. LOOK AT THOSE COSPLAYERS!!" Loud voices exclaimed from over your garden fence.

"Destiny, you're right! They look so... real!"

Oh no...

"Are they referring to us?" Arlecchino whispered to Pierro, the two harbingers sighing when seeing Childe walk up to the two girls.

"Of course they are," Signora answered the man for him. "They're pointing and talking whilst staring at us."

"How unmannered."

"Alright, alright, alright!" You called out to everyone around you after hearing the conversation behind you.

"We need to head up the street north, as that's where I usually trick or treat. Plus, the neighbours are nice there which is a nice bonus."

"If you could move away from the gate?" Your attention turned to the girls, a stern expression on your face.

"Oh, yeah, sorry... We just got a bit excited." One of the girls holding their phones apologised.

They walked away and you soon turned to face the clueless harbingers stood behind you.

"This is why I wanted you to dress up! You'll be noticed so much easier when you're dressed like how you were in the trailer!"

"Trailer?" Pantalone questioned you.

"Nevermind. I forgot everyone around me in this house is clueless."

"Clueless? Clueless about what?"

"As I said before, it doesn't matter. Let's go get some sweets!" You cheered, ignoring Pantalone nudging you for an answer.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Oh... Life is sweet, life is good!" You praised the harbingers after asking them to empty the bowls you gave them.

Somehow, although you knew there were a lot of you, you'd rounded up with a mountain of chocolate bars and colourful sweet packets. And calling it a mountain wasn't an exaggeration, it practically covered your coffee table.

"And this, my friends, is the triumph of our labour."

"I'll be honest though, it'll last me less than a week knowing me." You began picking out your favourite chocolates.

"That is not healthy, how are your teeth not rotting?" Dottore muttered, turning to your face and inspecting you.

"I'm blessed."

"You are definitely not." He mused, opening your mouth and looking inside at your teeth.

"Hwwey!" You tried to voice a complain.

"Ugh, just let them destroy their mouth. They'll learn that their pleasure will be their downfall." Scaramouche scoffed, pushing the doctor off of you.

Pantalone then laughed at the two in front of him. "I can always pay for them to get new teeth."

"Why would you need to pay when you have a qualified doctor in the house?"

"Qualified doctor?" Sandrone chuckled to herself. "More like insane experimental scientist."

"You little--"

"That's where you're wrong, they're simply heartless businessmen as I have always stated in the past." Arlecchino shook her head.

You glared at the Harbingers bickering as if you weren't next to them, and continued to pick and sort out the sweets covering your table.

I can never get a days peace. You shook your head, collecting and sharing the packets with Childe and Columbina on your left and right.

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sleeplesssmoll · 4 months

Text

HC: Looking at all the promotional art, I believe Sonetto and Schneider would have been friends.

Regulus and Vertin's relationship have a similar same vibe as Sonetto and Schneider's. That friend who drives you nuts but you're a pretty awesome duo.

Vertin's involvement might complicate things but I can see them teaming up on her when she does something stupid or fighting side by side to protect the crew.

If I had to use the lore and context around Reverse 1999 to explain how Vertin, Sonetto, and Schneider's dynamic would work, it'd be a compromise. While others may say Vertin would be the reason they fight, I'd say she's one of the things that draws them together and makes them appreciate each other. Here is how I see it:

Schneider understands what it means to sacrifice and provide for a family. She knows the struggle of fighting against a world constantly taking from you. She and Vertin have a natural chemistry because of these experiences. Sonetto understands this and instead of being jealous (not that she isn't at times but she learns to let go), comes to realize its good for Vertin's mental health. They "get" each other. At the end of the day, Sonetto wants what's best for Vertin.

While there was turbulence in the past, Sonetto's devotion to the Timekeeper is unwavering. Vertin isn't impartial either since we know Sonetto lives rent free in her head from the trails (analysis of this here). Sonetto grew up and is willing to cast aside her faith in the Foundation if it means protecting Vertin. Schneider finds that admirable and its gives her a sense of security. Sonetto is someone she can depend on, which is a big deal considering she's used to being the "rock" in her family holding everyone up.

At first its like "I need to keep you around for Vertin's sake."

But then it turns into "I'm happy you're here."

Vertin's always making sacrifices for people. They'd rather compromise than force her into a position they know she can't handle (no matter what Vertin decides, someone will get hurt).

On that note, they do exist outside of Vertin. Schneider might enjoy telling Sonetto about her home country while Sonetto eagerly listens. Sonetto doesn't know much about the outside world, but she can share insight on the world of arcanum. Its utterly insane and Schneider is amused by this. They teach each other things and also complain to each other about Vertin's gremlin ways.

Moving on, it's possible to have complicated feelings for more than one person. The important thing is deciding on whether or not you want to pursue a future with with them.

I'm about to drop a hot take so hot it could burn you. This is an opinion that ties into my HC. Ok, here I go.

Love isn't just feelings, it's work. You need to put work into a relationship or else it'll fall apart.

There are so many people on this earth. In my eyes it's normal to going to have chemistry or complicated feelings for more than one person in your lifetime.

But you choose the people you love out of the other potential candidates because you see a future with them. It's not about what you feel today but what you're going to feel years down the line so you devote your time and energy to those people in you life. You see something worth fighting for which is why you commit to those people (could apply to all relationships honestly).

That's why I HC Sonetto and Schneider like this. They could move on. Sure it'll hurt, but its not impossible. However, they found someone they want that future with. Someone with a lot of love to give yet asks for none in return, which is really sad tbh. If Vertin's not going to love herself then damn it they will! Maybe its unconventional and sometimes difficult, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

#reverse 1999 #schneider #vertin #sonetto #reverse 1999 hc #character dynamics #this game has the best set up for complex relationships that would function within its context #TOO BAD IT WONT HAPPEN #guess i'll cry

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vonnythemuse · 3 months

Text

I am 15.000 days old today.

I woke up early this morning, or rather, this night; not because I set my alarm, but because I needed to go to the bathroom. While there I remembered I had seen a post on tumblr just as i went to bed last night, on self defense for a specific target group that I wanted to read, but had failed to save.

I decided to search for it using a tag I expected to be in there, because I was still kinda sleepy. Instead I found that tumblr had nuked the account of a user, after this user had complained for a year or so about continual harassment, on the basis of mislabelled sexual imagery (fully clothes transition pictures).

I got sucked into this narrative, even though I don't know any of the people involved. I only use the platform of this CEO who decided to have a public meltdown on this topic, citing a post by said nuked account concerning hammers and exploding cars in a very tumblr-esque way, which wasn't cited in the ban report. But this hardly makes me an expert on the situation at hand.

I see lots of posts, of many people, showing solidarity. Pictures of their own transition to see if they'll get banned too.

Should I show my solidarity this way? My own transition is so long ago, the programs used to store my current photos didn't even exist yet. I'd have to go home and take a picture of an old photo, lying forgotten in a cabinet.

Oh, yes. I've turned 15.000 days and I'm not at home reading this, I'm on holiday, reading about how a website I've not been using for that long didn't seem as supportive of who and what I am as they claim to be. No surprise there, I've seen this before, I'll see it again. I think of my younger friends, who just started their own transition process, and wish it didn't have to be like this. That I didn't have to see this again, that they'd never have to see it.

I read all this, huddled half under my blanket. I don't want to wake my wife, she'll just tell me to not read this kind of stuff. Turn away, keep my head down. I get it, she's not under threat, and in my daily life I can be pretty open about who i am and who I was, with friends and even at work. I'm privileged in that way, having experienced only minor harassment in my real life, and tell myself that this isn't because I learned very quickly which places to avoid and when and how to keep my head down. Being open about who i am feels like an act of rebellion sometimes. I hope, and genuinely think, that doing this allows my colleagues to experience that we're just normal, kind people too. That I'm doing my part in some small way.

I'm 15.000 days old today, and I wonder when walking across the street and being in public becomes dangerous to me too. Like, more dangerous than it already is. Mixed in with the posts I read this morning, are reports of the death of a non-binary kid of 16, bullied to death in the United States. What a world to live in. What a world to be 15.000 days old in.

My alarm goes off, my normal work day alarm because even if I'm on holiday i prefer to keep my sleep schedule intact. I get out of bed, letting my wife sleep a bit longer. I greet my family in law, with whom we're on holiday with. I don't tell them about what I've read either, they will understand my worries even less.

I'm 15.000 days old today, and I worry about the future, and I worry about my friends and my friends' future, what it has in store for them.

But worrying about my friends also makes me think about my friends. How kind and supportive they are. How kind and supportive I can be for them. How I can maybe be the role model I never had, even though times have changed so much I have no idea how any of this works anymore.

I think of my friends, and feel warmth and solidarity. So here's to them being amazing, and me being amazing, and it's being amazing together. What a world to be 15.000 days old in.

And I write a post about hammers and exploding cars because I don't have my old pictures at hand.

#trans #transgender #lgbtq+#lgbtq #poetry ????#vonn.txt #predestrogen #predstrogen #hopigotthetagright #trans rights #nex benedict

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claudia-kishi · 21 days

Text

life is short and time is weird. ever since i've moved here, the guy who rented the garage under my apt would be there almost every night working on his motorcycle, which annoyed the fuck out of me. i told my friends about it if they ever came over. even complained about it yesterday night when having dinner with some friends.

came back home to see heavy police presence. i had no news or any info after googling and everything, so i figured i'd find out later. woke up this morning to find out the motorcycle dude hit a bump and lost control, and his injuries were so bad that he died at the hospital. and the time shows that it was before i had dinner with friends. which made me feel well awful.

like i don't even know this guy but i saw him almost every day, and he helped me move my couch to my apartment, and he was kind enough to move his truck around so i could get to my own garage. and now my apt is quiet when normally i would have my nightly routine of shaking my fists in the air wondering when the sound would stop.

anyways i just needed to type this out somewhere so i could remember how i am feeling today because death is something i don't really know how to process and it happening was very much and it's making me think very cliche thoughts like life is short and live your life to the fullest. but also. they're cliche for a reason.

#me mourning the death of a guy i barely knew enough that i needed to take the day off work truly was not on my 2024 bingo card #anyways good night stay safe and free palestine

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miss-atena · 9 months

Note

Hellooo, hope you are having a nice day! I discovered your work not long ago, but I already liked it a lot! I'd like to order a Cody/X Virus x Reader, in which the Reader is a biology nerd who is enthralled by Cody's skills and knowledge! Just the two of them being adorable nerds together!! 👉👈🤧💕

((it's so hard to find content about Cody, and it makes me particularly sad because he's my favorite creepypasta! 🥹🥹🥹))

Anyway, thank you in advance!! 💞

HIHII! I'm so sorry for the long wait, my life has been wild this last couple of weeks, but I'm back at writing and YES CODY'S FANS RISE UP!! Love me when he is a psychopathic scientist lol. Hope you enjoy this!

X Virus x Biology Nerd Reader

Cody normally keeps to himself in his lab, and is not really used to having people besides EJ or Toby around. So when he gets assigned a lab partner, he got skeptical.

He couldn't understand if this was some wild scheme from the others to make him interact more, or if you were actually someone with enough knowledge to work with him, but he couldn't complain since it was orders from the proxies.

You were going to be Cody's lab partner due to your area of knowledge on biology being similar in level to his, and you were certainly excited to find someone with an interest similar than yours, from what you heard of him.

When you did come to the lab, and looked around the place, you were certainly excited with the amount of biology related stuff. It was all you ever wanted, and it made your love for the subject bubble out.

Cody met you right there, on the lab, and at first he was REALLY skeptical, because you looked decent.

'since when does a scientist looks decent? They will not understand at all what I'm doing'

But the moment you opened your mouth and started accurately guessing what each thing he had was, his eyes sparkled. No way...

"Oh my god, you have a guide to the human cardiovascular system! Do you use it often? I bet you do, look at the amount of stuff that needs an intravenous application..."

"Wait, you actually know what you're talking about?"

It didn't take long to Cody to open up about his current researches and projects, like his experiments with the xelymtopa virus, or how he was experimenting on the maximization of effects on cyanide based poisons.

You were excited and eager to know, even bringing your own hypothesis on what could happen depending on the person he experiments on, which he appreciates.

Soon enough you were one of Cody's closest friends (and maybe he had a bit of a crush on you too), and were together everywhere, freaking everyone out by your casual talks about deadly diseases and poisonous animals.

Cody, while doing his work on the infirmary with EJ, opened up about how he felt close to you in a deeper level than anything, but he couldn't put a finger on what exactly he felt. EJ advised him to be open with you besides the work talk.

Cody felt confused and even a bit scarred. Open up about feelings? That is not like him at all...

His mind went in circles on how this was a bad idea and how he would lose your friendship, and you were the only one that actually understood what he said for once, but... EJ never wronged him. Why would he be wrong this time, right?

The next day, on the lab, you were working on one of your projects, some vaccines for one of the many viruses samples Cody had, when he came inside the labe with something behind his back.

"Hey, uh, I hope I'm not interrupting but... Can I talk to you for a second?"

After you looked at him and nodded, he basically dumped all of his feelings for you at once, and you couldn't help but giggle at how the usually confident in himself Cody was a blushing and rambling mess.

You did feel the same towards him, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He did have something to give you, your very own test subject. It was a golden poison frog, which was being securely held in a small vivarium.

Let's just say that both of you are probably the deadliest couple in the manor, and that if anyone bothers one of you, the other is very capable of performing inhumane tests on them just out of spite.

Hope you enjoyed it! I am not particularly knowledgeable on Biology, never had very good teachers on the subject, but it was certainly fun to write this. We need more Cody love in the world fr fr.

#creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta x reader #x virus #x virus x reader #tena writing #gihzinha #thanks for the request!#i love cody so much me and my friends r such simps of him shsjsbksns

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