#no but listen i am actually so angry

[candescentkpop]

Jongho

Ateez: Limitless

Ateez Part 82 / ∞

#ateez #ateez limitless #atzsource #jongho #no but listen i am actually so angry #these are the ONLY good solo shots i could get of jongho this mv (that isn't in another set) #it's the same in EVERY single mv of theirs by now #in the training montage right we get like 5 seconds of jongho doing jump rope #how am i supposed to get any good shots there?? #meanwhile every other member gets a good like 15-30 seconds just posing for the camera??? #i really hope and pray that it's something jongho is okay with #cause it's so obvious to me after doing all these mvs #he does of course get more solo shots than this but he's always singing and that doesn't make for a good still either #i'm just... please just give me some jongo content

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.

Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.

If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain #and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have #and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because... #...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!' #i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes #i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen... #putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such... #...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate... #...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain #this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still) #i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment #so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever

[lilaccatholic]

how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?

#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk #i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting #it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer. #i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love. #im not the type you launch a thousand ships for. #so what's left? #who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture. #i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for. #im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now. #except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving. #i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around. #how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too. #its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like #ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out. #ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing #the trail? how do i become myself happy and free? #because i WANT to be more #i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy #but i dont know how to get there #and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me #all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself #i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do #anyway. #anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol #im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good. #please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM #lilac rambles

[shorlinesorrows]

just got the time to start the sunshine court and I'm Vibrating out of my skin

#i did not think it was possible for me to like a character this much three chapters into a book #i might actually end up liking Jean better than Neil which is saying a Lot #something about a character whose route to survival had to be giving in and staying small instead of fighting back or running away #something about a character who has been taught to lock up their emotions for years or suffer the consequences #something about a character who is resigned to what happens to them because that's the only way they can survive in their environment #I am desperately hoping that Jean learns how to be ANGRY outwardly without permission. #I need that boy to be able to Rage out loud and do it MESSY #because I'm not convinced he's going to be able to really smile until he does #Also I'm really appreciating both the Renee and Thea content we've desperately needed more of both of them and they showed up so quick #privately hoping both stay present for a while but tbh i'm just excited for where this is headed #Anyways I also just fixated on Jean Moreau then discovered that (SPOILERS) he's 19???? Almost the same age as me??? hate riko hate riko HAT #anyway sorry riko enjoyers i know he's Complicated but I never liked him in the first place #and this book is making me look forward to his death even more than I did when I first read aftg. So. #listen i know he has Issues. I know Ichirou killing him without a second thought is probably the cruelest way that he personally can die #I also want him dead and gone. Those statements can and should coexist imho. #the sunshine court #jean moreau #really looking forward to finding out more about Jeremy too #this is gonna be a wild ride #jeremy knox #all for the game #love how nora's writing and characters can grab me in a chokehold and refuse to let me go thank you nora for the food

[hauntedwoman]

as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult

#i feel really bad that im so angry at her and she doesnt even know it #but my entire living situation is making me miserable right now and its her fault #she charges me $50 in rent every week and shes increasing it to $125 a week at the end of the month #the only reason this is happening is because she FORCED ME to drop out and the only other alternative was that i had to work full time + pa #rent.............. but like at my job even if im working 40 hrs a week ill only be making abt $900 a month #so i will barely have anything leftover for myself after rent #and i cannot get a second job bc i frankly can not handle it at all + what hours would i even work #and my mom refuses to understand that the reason i had to drop out is bc i am so depressed and so suicidal and i just dont want to live #she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill #every time i try to talk about my mental health she treats me like im such a burden to her even though i literally never tell her anything #personal anymore bc she just doesnt listen or care #ALSO she FORCED ME to move across the country and transfer schools when i really did not want (hence why i flunked all of my classes bc i d #not care) but like. everything thats wrong in my life rn is bc i do not want ot live where im living and theres no way for me to go back to #texas and also i dont rly wanna live w my dad either #but anyways. this whole situation would be better if my mom was using me paying rent as an actual lesson in adult respinsibility #but it's really just a punishment because i cant function the way she wants me to #and im over it #so fucking over it why am i such a pussy why cant i just die

[fembutchboygirl]

I just learned something so incredibly fucked up

#i am trembling #i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god #im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you #i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it #i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked) #but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff? #stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head #but still. absolutely fucking deranged. #ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually #just has bpd?????? #sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up #much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7) #you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been #repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick #get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚ #and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. #p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up #like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife #my posts

[horny-ex-catholic]

I fully acknowledge that men are capable of basic human decency and I choose to believe the majority of them are good people,

But then a man decides to follow and message me with no prior interaction and describe a fantasy in which he calls himself daddy and, when I tear his ass up and remind him I am a whole ass adult who never uses that title for anyone and feel nothing but boredom and irritation towards him now, just says "sorry. misread you."

Like???? MOTHERFUCKER YOU DO NOT MEASAGE ANYONE LIKE THAT. YOU FUCKING GET CONSENT FROM THEM. NOT TO MENTION THAT I. EXPLICIT AS HELL IN THE FACT I DONT WANT TO INTERACT WITH MEN. YOU DIDN'T "MISREAD" ME, YOU DIDNT READ ME AT ALL, YOU ILLITERATE SHRIVELLED DICK PIECE OF SHIT

#listen #i am a very patient and considerate person #i understand sometimes fucking up #but you dont get to claim misunderstanding when i am REAL FUCKING CLEAR ALL OVER MY BLOG THAT I DONT WANT TO INTERACT WITH MEN #IF YOU OPEN WITH THAT KINDA MESSAGE (Dont actually do that I'll block you) THEN AT LEAST DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH ON WHAT IM INTO #man obviously saw i have a mommy and breeding kink and thought that's good enough #im half tempted to post the message im so fuckin angry right now #my post

[topflights]

ok but for real. just real quick. i’ll go back to joking after this but just once: are we really gonna act like he’s wrong to be upset abt that? assuming all of this is legit, that means he wasn’t cleared to wrestle, he was still injured, and they insisted he should do the moxley match anyways. because it was just a squash, as if that isn’t still dangerous. a company pressuring a talent to work when injured is so incredibly unprofessional and just gives the vibe of a company that doesn’t give a shit abt the safety of their workers. in a profession where worker safety should be your number one priority

#discourse tw #whether you like punk or not. you gotta admit thats fucked. #i am. of course. believing punk. i believe workers every day #so. #if this is legit and if that’s the truth then that’s a terrible look for aew #or it SHOULD be. but no one is gonna listen bc no one likes punk. so even if it is true #no one is actually gonna take it seriously bc everyone is just gonna want to disagree w him bc it’s him #feeling angry in this chilis today

[lanshappycorner]

im gonna meet my new roommate this weekend........i hope that they r normal

(ramble in the tags)

#for context last yr (or this yr . but last school yr) i had the most insane roommate #she was like an insane clean freak and she was also really loud and kept moving my stuff and I SUSPECT she even stole smth but idk #she also lied to me a lot and attempted to gaslight me to turn me on our other housemates . she made me cry multiple times </3 #i lived in an apt of 5 ppl and everyone all hated her but i shared a room with her. and the thing is that they all liked Me but not Her #so whenever there were arguments id end up having to be the middle ground like even when i went home for summer vacation #i was called over on the phone to solve household disputes bc yknow she only listened to me and i was the only person capable of not- #-like blowing up on her bc she'd say some pretty unreasonable things sometimes and my other housemates r all pretty hotheaded #(my roomie included) but i . i do not get angry like ever so im able to calmly deal with things #when i tell you i do not get angry ever im so srs i know i say shit on here but my housemates have never seen me angry even once in 2 yrs #but anyways sometimes my housemates take me out for drinks and theyre like are u sure ur okay lan how do u live with her 💀💀 #anyways yeah last yr was a shitshow i hope my roommate this yr is normal like just the bare minimum is fine #ive only ever had insane roommates like my first roommate was a party animal and shed come home drunk at like 4 am #there was even a pregnancy scare once but anyways at least i got along with her rly well #i miss her actually :((( #my second roommate tho. she scares me

[corset]

Really feeling that experience of being an autistic person in an environment that's terrible for me where I'm basically trying to figure out really hard how to not be an emotionally unstable wreck all the time who throws "childish tantrums" over "dumb shit" because I hate feeling like my family always expects me to just snap whenever anything happens and whether or not I do just depends on how much Repression Juice I've got left in the tank or how Unshitty the circumstances have been for the last week or even few days

#I am literally doing the best that I can for myself but there's a lot of stuff that I communicate actively to other people in this household #that never gets better or that just gets scoffed at and my environment is horrific because we're very poor and everyone in this house is #disabled and my workplace environment fucking sucks and I spent 15 years of my life basically being completely unaware of just how high my #supports needs actually are and so I'm also trying to mentally juggle and figure that shit out so I can at least make an attempt to take #care of myself the way I need to but when so many things are basically looking at you trying to cope and laughing in your face and then #punting you down from the mountain you're climbing with a bat and basically saying 'how cute and stupid of you to think you could possibly #make progress or take care of yourself? don't you understand your circumstances dipshit?' #IT'S KIND OF PAINFULLY DIFFICULT HAHA. #I basically deal with this by holing myself up all the time just trying to keep my bullshit away from people #I'm very sick of it #Like even when I try to have a conversation when I'm getting really upset or angry about something #one person in this house is impossible to talk to at all because she's argumentative as hell about literally everything and anything #including stuff you didn't even say. Like I have no idea what she's even saying to me half the time and she almost never listens #the other one is my aunt who is so emotionally repressed she can't even have a conversation with a whiff of vulnerability in it #and then my mother just shuts down and ignores me ! Which Makes It Worse!

[katyspersonal]

Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.

#/vent #personal #no but when will things stop getting worse? #in moments like this I feel especially bitter thinking about that asshole that went to me like: #'wahh wahh katy i won enough money in the court to buy everything I want but it doesn't matter because I can't buy YOU uwu' #*ten days later* 'actually I don't want a friend/sister anymore can you please stay in your bum spot and simply be my- #-online friend and listen to me ramble about my interests without any regards to yours and show off how cool my life is to you like always? #like no I am not materialistic but when people make dramatic promises of this kind they better stick to them #'nooo but you MUST get out of russia!!!' bitch how? I can hardly afford enough food let alone travelling and living abroad #anyways yeah I am done using the guy that pretended to want a better life for us both and then turned tail as a core for venting #sorry it just makes me angry #not so much living in powerty and not being able to crawl out of debt and my life state no matter what #but more about a very consistent trend of having friends that one day get RICH and dump me as 'lower class' right after that happens #he is not the only one like that in my life he is just the most recent one #really speaks about how unlikeable I am if people lose interest in me as soon as they can buy happy things instead #shows that my worth as a human being is super low and I only work as entertainment when people can't buy something to do that instead #like videogames food travels objects books etc etc... #I am just below those things and less interesting than those things and I'll die early hahaha lol #hopes are that supernatural luck power that doesn't want me to escape easily will send me something to help. because yeah my situation- #-is B A D.

[mainfaggot]

it's crazyyyy 🤣🤣🤣 how music can become so crucial to your daily life and then in the grand scheme of things, the way it can end up influencing/becoming attached to certain years and even decades of your experiences....

#i listen to can't you see me and I remember being irrationally angry about my best friend at the time distancing herself from me #i listen to ikily and i want to cry because i remember 17-18 year old me that was severely depressed and wishing to die every day and night #i listen to run away and i remember 16 year old me trying to prove to myself that i was worth something despite feeling like a failure #i listen to farewell neverland and blue spring i think about how close i was to dying in 2023 #none of these events are actually connected to these songs but because i listened to them while everything went down #the connection created itself #txt didnt change my life for the better or worse. they were just there in the background through it all #theyve been a constant and thats strangely (or not so strangely because i think humans enjoy constants in some capacity) beautiful lol #im so corny rn forgive me for my moaisms at nearly 1 am bye #z.post

[an-absolute-nightmare]

dude i have issues

#why does my mother condescending on me or not listening to me trigger me so much #why do i go from zero to crying with actual tears in seconds when she refuses to see my perspective #this is not something knew #she always does this #she has always done this #i have lived with her my entire life #so why the fuck #do i get so so so fucking angry nowadays #why do i see red #and what am i even supposed to do about it #getting angry does nothing except burn my blood #i have a boxing bag and i can't even fucking punch it #because of my fragile fucking nervous system giving me fucking migraines over the slightest fucking exertion #fuck #her voice grates me when i'm feeling like this #i whine and whine to my friends every day and i get tired of that too #i am sick and tired. i need a break from her #i need her to let me grow up #fuck. if things would've worked out differently she was gonna allow me to live in a hostel right now #and here she won't even let me travel alone for an hour

[eosofspades]

next gen (2018) is the best movie ever for a lot of reasons but the biggest, most integral one that i've never seen anybody actually address before, is that it is fundamentally a story about being a very young child who is suffering so much emotional pain and the experience of that pain not being taken seriously by anyone around you. mai's anger issues and crushing loneliness are absolutely integral to any reading of the story's themes, and not only is her pain a driving force, but it is validated by the narrative. the story doesn't mock her for having "daddy issues," she's not just a whiny or dramatic little girl; she is ABSOLUTELY justified in feeling lonely and hopelessly angry, and the movie goes out of its way to show you things from HER perspective. and at the end, the "lesson" she had to learn wasn't that she was WRONG about how she viewed her mother and her situation - in fact, her MOM is the one who has to learn that she was mistreating her daughter and hurting her.

the movie also takes so much care to honestly and realistically show how that loneliness can manifest in the most destructive of ways - mai is ALLOWED to be angry, she is allowed to be rude and abrasive and destructive, and while it is portrayed as a problem and something that needs to be addressed, the narrative never BLAMES her for it - because she is a child reacting in a real, emotional, raw, human way to her trauma and pain.

what i'm trying to say is i have never seen a film before that takes a child's feelings of misery as something so valid. the narrative NEVER condescends to her character, it never comes across as patronizing. and the movie isn't about having to forgive the people who hurt you, but instead it's about the importance of not letting that pain stop you from making NEW memories and better relationships. it's so real and RAW and full of love and ultimately, it is about how even one person looking at you and saying "i see your pain, and i'm not going anywhere" and meaning it can be enough to save you.

#literally this movie is so fucking good. go watch it right now #my favorite film of all time. unbeatable in catharsis in validation in ENTERTAINMENT #and that's not even getting into the animation or soundtrack bc my GOD both of these things are BANGING #and the ANGST. ohhhh my god this movie will rip your fucking heart out #like. how do i actually describe it. this movie is about being a mentally ill child from the child's perspective #any other movie would have had mai need to learn the lesson that her parents were doing what they thought was right or some bullshit #but nope! next gen says your mom IS doing a bad job! and you deserve to be angry about it!! you are right to be angry about your #dad fucking off when you were 4!!! that DOES suck for you and it DOES suck that nobody fucking LISTENS #this is a kid screaming for someone; anyone to listen to her or care about her pain and then she meets 7723 and he DOES #AND ITS A MOVIE ABOUT HOW MENTAL ILLNESS CAN MAKE YOU PUSH PEOPLE AWAY AND SELF SABOTAGE #AND THE IMPORTANCE OF *LETTING* PEOPLE HELP YOU AND TRUSTING THEM TO HOLD YOUR HEART GENTLY....... #i restate. this movie is so fucking good. go watch it if you haven't i am not asking #mine #next gen #next gen netflix #netflix next gen #long post

[mini-games]

(Since everyone else is addressing it, I guess I should as well.

I, PERSONALLY, like silly anons trying to do things that become canon, such as cat-person-ifying us. But that is my personal feelings. Repeating what some of the mods mentioned in the discord, a lot of them went along with it because they felt that saying "no" wasn't a choice.

So I will warn you now that if I decide that I don't want to do one of your asks, then I just simply won't reply. That's it. And if I (or anyone else) don't reply to one of your asks, don't spam us. Just let it be. Perhaps send a different ask, perhaps one that even gives us a choice on what you do to our characters.

I, and all the other mods, wish to contain absolute control over our characters at the end of the day. I've seen how a lot of the mods seem to get stressed out by repeated questions and what seems like a lot of you guys forcing things on us.

But please continue sending us asks! If it weren't for an ask I sent under anon, a lot of the current event of the EPPRBCU wouldn't be happening right now! All it took was a simple suggestion of how to put out the sun, that's it. But I didn't force the water-gun and shrinking spell into Nef's hands, I just suggested that they could do that.

By all means, do silly transformations to Mini and other characters, but make it more subtle, like a weird looking drink with a label written in some kind of cipher that tells us, the mods, what it does, but makes it so the characters themselves don't know! It gives us a choice and the characters a surprise.

Thank you all, and have a great day/night. Please be careful with us, though, and remember we are real human beings!!)

#not a mini-game #ooc speaking #important #sorry this got so long i tend to do that LOL #im not angry with you guys #but i am afraid that i have to pull an “im just mildly disappointed” on you #cause these things get overwhelming and we want to actually be able to control our characters #once again i am PERSONALLY okay with you trying to transform mini. ill just ignore the ask if im not up for it cause im not afraid to do th #but not all of us are comfortable with that so remember to give us a choice!!! #thank you for listening and have a great day/night <3

[lyxchen]

I'm listening to the audiobook of a book I had to read for school and that I now need for my final exam and honestly it's making me so angry. Like I don't like the book at all, I don't like the characters I don't like the descriptions and I don't like how it's written and it makes me want to throw my phone against the wall!!!

#it's like red hot anger i'm feeling truely #not a lot of things get me this angry but damn this book does it #it has some good parts but then all of a sudden the autor starts describing the most useless shit like how the wall is painted or that some #dog is peeing on the floor and i just can't #i can not #this fucking book i hate having to read it so much!!! #and the main character is so naive and not in a sweet way but in a what are you even doing do you not know how the world works?? kinda way #and it's pissing me off #like i don't care if other people like the book they can read it if they want to but why the fuck do i have to read it??? #i could also talk about how it deals with a subject that is somehow brought up in a lot of books that i have to read for school But instead #of really talking about and showing the subject all these books just talk around it from an outside perspective #hhhhhhh #i am so glad when this is over honestly my attention span is so small already how do these people genuinely think i can read a book i #don't like when i don't even have enough motivation in me to read a book i Do like #anyways #all i wanted to say is that it's very strange to feel the actual need to throw your phone against a wall #but this book has got me to that point and yeah #i'm going to stop listening to that audiobook now because i'd like to keep my phone thank you very much