#she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transrightsjimin · 3 years

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was on the phone w my parents for 1 hour and almost 40 minutes today and on the one hand i think it was good to keep each other up to date on stuff and give them that social interaction they rly crave, but on the other hand i feel so fucking weird abt not saying anything when my mom talked abt having done smth very racist + pro-cop nd i was just so shocked and saddened but also didnt know what to say??

like she is in one of those neighbourhood whatsapp group chats ('buurtpreventie apps') (which are unfortunately rly popular in recent years), in which people from a certain street or flat contact each other to keep an eye on each other aka use it to report random black or arab people to the cops. which she did when two men were in her flat to collect money for charity nd apparently it was a scam bc the permit wasnt for that specific charity that week but just. my mom talking abt how she snitched on them nd the rest of the flat of even older people encouraging that, nd worst of all my mom going 'kijk dit klinkt vast een beetje racistisch maar het waren twee donkere mannen dus we dachten dat dat dezelfde waren als de oplichters waar we over hoorden' HELLO??? 🤢 like i had to say smth but then i fucking didnt bc i was just so weirded out and know how threatening my mom gets when shes criticized. like i just dont know how to get some sense or compassion into her head bc she's blocking it all. she used to be a socialist who even supported anarchists and protest state violence and now she's just.... vaguely in agreement w criticism of class structures but as soon as it's about strictness if tax authorities to the poor, or about racism, her support stops and ppl are criminal to her. it's so tiresome. so im frustrated i didnt say anything but then DID talk the ears if my dad's face by trying to explain where mask skepticism came from nd how the govt and conspiracy theorists were to blame for this and why they do this (money), but i was rambling too much prob nd my dad just doesnt follow anything bc old nd adhd nd former alcoholic (he also didnt understand what memes r which i realized too late after trying to tell him mama sent me a 13 page pdf w bad memes) nd so eventually he noted 'but please don't eh get into the opposite side of these conspiracy theories, believing in other ones' nd im just 🤦‍♂️ i prob sounded fuckingrly incomprehensible nd extreme to him??

he also asked me what i thought of the sylvana simons interview in the interview he gifted me nd i said i liked it but was side eyeing some repeated, rethorical questions she was asked abt 'extremist muslims!!'. he seemed more positive abt BIJ1 / sylvana than my mom who completely discredits them just solely based on the racist general public's treatment of her, whereas my dad seemed kind of curious but also tone policed how sylvana should have not sounded this angry and how he found it strange she kept bringing up 'minorities' and *very confused* ' l.. g... b...t ... q .. uhh'. which is still somehow better than my mom who immediately discredited her political party based on nonsense racists spout for years so i guess the bar is on the ground

nd ALSO me telling my dad contact w my mom is difficult was met w him relativating it by saying my mom is in severe pain bc chronic pains nd illnesses nd even worse lately, shes on her way to become deaf (p much is on one ear nd the other almost) nd was too stubborn to get a hearing aid (but then was more willing to in the end). but anyway his argument is not to be so harsh at mama for being so snappy bc shes in pain nd has bleeding intestines again nd hears these noises bc of her messed up ears so cant sleep etc and then theres just regular back and hip nd knee pains she has bc of deteriorating bones bc medication. like i get thats horrible nd i do get that thats why her moods change so much nd shes so scary to talk to but i dont think thats a reason to never ask her to maybe not say or do smth abusive or bigoted??

like at the time i was happy that they were finally a bit more satisisfied bc i talked to them for a long time but im just really so puzzled on what to say to them when they say smth horrible, like. i feel like i have to try to educate them nd not make them (especially my mom) move further to the right nd to racist rethoric. nd i dont even think her racist views changed that much (though she did luckily, though only somewhat, changed her mind on zwarte piet) but the netherlands is just so behind on shit that even acknowledging racism exists here is incomprehensible to ppl like her and enrages them so much bc its seen as a personal insult. like idk what to say to an old white woman who had threatened to slap me if i ever called her actions racist again, and who clearly believes in cops and antiblackness so much just like the average member of a buurtpreventie app, that calling cops on black men is justified to her. like idk how to change someones mind bc she never listened to me nd only gets aggressive nd i have to stay nice and never confront her actions bc shes in insufferable pain???? what about other disabled people who r in chronical pains and SUFFER bc of racism?? like white disabled people rly get a free pass on being shitty bc of feeling bad but the same mentality isnt applied to poc. like she's rly become a stubborn old adult who doesnt listen to / read what others state unless it doesnt challenge her views or if its on tv or whatsapp groups, nd anything confronting is met w insults or passive agressiveness. like idk how to educate ppl like that bc my parents (esp mom) clearly refuse to be open to that, and they dont use social media nd cant read the same level of english as me so all info has to be in dutch but also everything is seen as a personal insult or 'too elitist' language so i rly dont know what to do. like i want to be more than a fucking ally on only the internet nd maybe 1 or 2 protests per year, but idk how to get through the thick skulls of people 30-40 years older than me who r so hard to communicate w bc they dont get technology, social media, newer language, poc, lgbt stuff, cant read a lot of english nd stop reading at difficult words etc ???

#rambles #like im just lost #family stuff

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Wow, silence of the lambs fuckin sucks

Like all i'd ever heard of it was it was "a classic" ans i guess like most "classics" its just revolutionary for being the first example of a genre or something and now it just looks like a bigoted pile of shit unless you brace yourself with eighteen hours of "oh but its a classic tho" before pressing play

Like how did NOBODY EVER MENTION that the villain of the movie is literally a trans woman? A scary trans woman who kills "real" women to make a literal skin suit out of them. Also everyone constantly calls her a man throughout the film and like the only way they try to weasel out of it is by saying "some other transsexuals said he's bad, he's more badder and more not real and we're not saying all transsexuals are bad even though the entirety of this plot is him being scary because he's transsexual and being a threat to women because he's transsexual" Like straight up the plot is that she started murdering people because she was refused for transition surgery through legitimate means. And they try and play it like "oh the doctors Just Knew that this wasnt a real transsexual it was one of those Fetish Transsexuals hey we totally acknowledged there are some good ones so we're allowed to continue now right?" Like fuckin... "Oh this character isnt evil because theyre trans BUT theyre scary because they dress as a woman ans they kill woman because of being trans and we're constant gonna call them by their birth sex and not the name they chose because i guess we only respect trans people's truth if theyre The Good Ones". Like seriously whenever you call a bad trans person by their birth sex youre just showing that you dont really believe we're real and you just consider using our correct pronouns as some sort of white lie you do because you think we deserve it, and anyone who doesnt deserve it gets your goddamn honesty...

Like srsly i know that the whole "transsexual" thing was an actual sign of the times but i dont think the rest is, i think its just straight up "ha ha gross trans for scary shock value" lowest common denominator bullshit.

Also i honestly dont see the appeal in the main plot and i dont see why it became a classic except that its one of those cynical 'all humans are assholes and optimism is naive and can be totally broken ha see youre totally just as bad as us" things.

Cos the whole point is just... Bad guy threatens a lady for several hours. Manages to dismantle her entire worldview just by saying I AM BAD AND I ENJOY IT and TELL ME UR SAD BACKSTORY in like.. Overly eloquent ways i guess? Like what is even meant to be shocking about him yo, he's just the same as any other douchebag internet troll or for example my abusive father. And his entire fuckin argument is just the stupid idea that "being a psychologist makes you crazy and evil because ur talkin to lots of crazy people and theyre automatically evil and somehow its contagious". Like srsly why does that always get treated as "what an interesting point"?? So the movie is just this horrid irredeemable creepy asshole saying "oh i was a good guy once and talking to someone with a mental illness gave me an entirely different unrelated mental illness oooo im gonna give it to ya" Also "the fundemental truth of the world is being bad and selfish and killin dudes just for the jollies." And creepy ass critics say "wow he had a point wow what grey morality" and like ok thanks glad for the warning that youre someone i should be terrified of

And then the film just ends with him successfully leaving the protagonist all traumatized and more willing to make morally grey choices so OOOO he really did MAGICALLY PASS ON THE BRAIN DISABILITY I GUESS Ans also he got free and he's gonna go off on his jolly little way i guess. The only consolation that makes that less awful is the hope that it was just meant to be a scary ending and not really "he is right, stop hoping about anything good in the world and just go fuckin apeshit. Also trans women are somehow scarier than me somehow."

Blehh. I dont get it!

Is it literally only a classic cos the dialogue is all flowery when he talks his evil bullshit?

Also LOL after having that "fava beans and a nice cianti" scene hyped up i wasnt prepared for how unscary it is. Dear god he made such a silly noise and licked the window! That actor is trying way too hard holy shit what a good laugh omg

#am i just too dumb for this i guess?#im sorry all cynical bullshit just sounds immature af to me and it gets funnier the more edgy it tries to be

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