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romana-after-dark · 11 months

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The Wrong Way: Chapter 9

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

Pacing is a bit off for reason's I'll explain at the end so uh have mercy. I shifted thing a bit but I think it'll make the last chapter better.

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If we had a daughter I'd watch and could not save her The emotional torture From the head of your high table She'd do what you taught her She'd meet the same cruel fate So now I've gotta run So I can undo this mistake At least I've gotta try... -Labour, Paris Paloma

It was cool out, and the fall leaves crunched under Joel heavy footsteps, shuttering and flittering as he pulls you across the lawn, screaming his brother's name in vain, horse shouts.

You were supposed to rake tomorrow.

“TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!” was all you could say, all sense having left you as soon as you were thrown around in the kitchen. It was another slap that brought you back to reality, opening your eyes to come face to face with the man who had beaten and loved you in such harsh contrast this last year, pulling you both to stand on top of a chair. Your shirt felt wet from how much you cried and were still sobbing, but you have enough thought, just barely, to stop screaming for Tommy… he let go, and you wanted to run, wanted to protect your baby… but you’d get nowhere. You look down at the crowd that gathered, all men you recognized, some you liked, some you knew were just waiting for Joel to relinquish you to them… and Lorenzo, his normally droopy bedroom eyes opened wide with fear.

This is how you’d die, isn’t it?

Joel yanked your face back to him. “They ain’t gonna save yuh, little one. Not even Tommy would save you, you know that, right, for all you cry for him, he still chose me over you. He chose Maria over you, because you are NOTHING! You were nothing but a pastime to him but me?” A rush of calm as he held your chin tightly, nails digging into the skin and clawing your face open. “I love you, princess, and all you do is hurt me.” His voice was soft, small, and for a foolish moment you think maybe he already peaked in his rage… until a strong, painful punch in your sternum knocked all breath out of you... and again. and again.

You hear Lorenzo call out your name, and through your sore throat and abused body, you manage to get out and small ‘don’t’. You hope Renzo knows that’s meant for him. Don’t do it. Don’t risk your life for me, I’m not worth it.

Joel throws the rope over the tree branch, and as you look at your surroundings, you are struck with horror at the realization that this is the tree in which Nick’s skeleton lay at the foot; an area you always intentionally avoided since Joel brought you out here so, so long ago. The rope that his hands hung from as Joel skinned him alive was across from you… was that your intended fate? Would he really do that to you, 8 months pregnant? Or would he kill you and preform some sick, botched c-section?

He fashioned a noose around your neck.

“Joel, Joel please, I’m sorry”

“I don’t fucking care!”

“THE BABY, JOEL!” You sob, pleading for your child's life. “Please, please just wait until I give birth, then you can do whatever you want but they shouldn’t be punished because of me!”

“You’re right, she shouldn’t” Joel always referred to the baby as ‘she’, despite no evidence. He pulled the rope tight, causing you to choke and stand on your toes to keep breathing. “This is your fault.” He slapped you, making your head swing wildly to the right. “It’s your fault I’m hurting you.” He slapped you again, and you felt blood leave your mouth. “You hurt me!” He screamed, and another slap. The ringing in your ear doesn’t prevent you from hearing him as he tells you that you are hurting the baby yourself before delivering his final blow. You can’t focus your eyes at all… but you can hear him, although you wish you couldn’t. From the loud voice and the feel of his breath, he’s right in front of you. “I should tie us both up, little one, and kick this chair out from under us, end it all, is that what you want?”

No, absolutely not. Even after everything, you didn’t want Joel dead, and it hurt you to hear the pain in his voice, just as it hurt to see the betrayal in his eyes as he learned of Tommy… You loved him, you loved him, you loved…

“N-o!” you choke out, the harsh rope burning on your throat.

“As much as I know you want me to,” Despite the fact you said no, he was so convinced you hated him. “You don’t get to win, cheating bitch.”

He hops down, rope in hand, tying it to the bar of the chair and leaving you gagging and rasping on your tippy toes for air on the chair. He mutters his usual threats to the men, that anyone who helps you or touches you is dead, and you watch him walk away towards the house.

So you stand there for what feels like forever, attempting to pull the noose off but you can barely breath, can barely see, can barely hear… you can, however, feel your precious baby kicking.

One by one, the men get bored and wander off inside, until two bodies are left.

You register Lorenzo’s smell, alcohol and those strange gross cigarettes he smokes, hoping up on the chair and quickly taking you down. You can’t stand, and Lorenzo barely stops you from completely collapsing on the ground. He yells at Jack to help him carry you inside, but Jack hesitates, no doubt not wanting to die… but after back and forth, another arm is lifting you up, and your heavily pregnant form is stumbling back to your home.

“Hey, stay with me sweetheart, we’re gonna get you back, okay? But I need you to stay awake, I think you’re concussed”

You don’t answer; you can’t answer, really… even as you slowly start to gain a little focus. Lorenzo is talking you through it. ‘Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.’ Although you’re certain Lorenzo could carry you on a normal day, 8 months pregnant was another story.

You weren’t sure what his plan was, but it didn't really matter as Joel was waiting inside for you.

“Jack, take the girl.”

Lorenzo spoke up. “Joel, calm down, I know damn well you didn’t want her dead-”

“Jack, take the girl, and cover her eyes.”

You try to say no, to tell Joel to stop, but words don’t form like they should… Joel wouldn’t listen anyway.

So, there you are, stuck in Jack’s arms which were oddly tight, protective and comforting as Lorenzo’s blood splattered on you both, Joel pistol whipping him hard before shooting.

Lorenzo’s body falls to the floor as a clump of deadweight, and as Joel grabs you, dragging you into the room, all you can glimpse is Jack frantically trying to stop Lorenzo’s bleeding as your only friend screamed in pain on the floor.

When the door closes, Joel is a new person, pulling you to him and onto the bed. He was sat up against the wall, holding your back to his chest as your body wracked in sobs. Lorenzo was dead, you were in pain, and you were so, so scared for your baby. Could they survive what Joel had just done to you? You were certain it was over for now, Joel was back to his lovey, post-violence state had already set in… but what about next time? Joel had been safe for months… months where you didn’t run, you cooked and cleaned and serviced him and fucking hell, you fell in love! You loved him! You were the best possible wife you could’ve been, all while carrying his child, and even the mere suggestion of waiting on having another instead of pumping them out like he wanted, and he nearly killed you.

Was he trying to kill you?

Lorenzo said he wasn’t.

But you weren’t sure…

Lorenzo…

Despite the protruding stomach, he began to massage your core, and you were too violently ill and dizzied to protest. You’d be too scared to even try, anyway. You weren’t sure how long he tried until he gave up, but it felt like forever, minute after minute of your shaking, aching body crying in his arms as he tried to bring you to orgasm with his hands before realizing you weren’t the slightest bit wet. Your body didn’t even have it in you to attempt to betray you this time.

So Joel just held you, and held you tight, so tight you couldn’t hardly breathe again and you had no choice but to try and relax yourself until the sobs bubbled down to gentle hiccups and a steady stream of tears.

“Why do you make me do this to you?” Joel spoke, his voice croaking and you suddenly notice tears on your neck. “Why do you make me hurt you?”

“I d- I don’t know.” You gasped and tried to answer through the shaking tears.

“I don’t want to do this, you know that right?”

“Uh-uh”

“You make me act like this. I’ve been good to you, haven't I?”

“Y-y-yeah-ah.”

You almost killed me and our baby.

“I feed you, I care for you.”

“Y-yeah”

Tommy fed me. I cook for you.

“I make love to you, I make you come, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

You rape me.

“You’re my wife”

You kidnapped me.

“I gave you a child.”

You forced this on me.

“I gave you a life here, free from your father.”

You ripped me away from Zach and June, you sent Tommy away, you killed Lorenzo.

“But still, you treat me like dirt.”

I cared for you. I’ve been a nurse, a servant, a cook, a whore

“You cheated on me with my own brother”

I was terrified of losing my virginity, and Tommy was safer than you.

“You disrespect me”

I asked a question.

“You know why I do this, right? It’s for your own good. Our baby needs a good mother, she needs a mother who will love her unconditionally, who will always be there for her, to be a good example. I can’t have you running around making her feel unwanted, can I?”

“No.”

Joel buried his wet, crying face in your hair. “So it’s not really my fault, is it?” It was like he was begging for forgiveness, for absolution, justifying it to you, to himself, maybe even to Sarah…

You answer him, sleepy, head throbbing and you feel like you could throw up. “No, it’s my fault.” and it was. It was your fault for not leaving with Zach, for not taking him up on countless offers he made in letters Lorenzo passed between you, offering to run away with you and June and Lorenzo… even continuing to beg into the pregnancy, but you ignored him, causing many fights between you and Lorenzo. It was your fault, and now Lorenzo was dead or dying and you were trapped with no way to contact Zach, no way to get to him…

He caresses your head and body. “Yeah, it’s yours, but it’s okay, I forgive you. You’ll do better, I just know it.” Joel sounded like he was about to fall asleep too. “You’ll be good for her. You’ll be a good mom for Sarah.”

If you weren’t so fucking tired, the revelatin of the extent of Joel’s dellousions would be shocking to you, but you couldn’t find anything shocking anymore.

“I spoke to Tommy the other day.” He sat up, laying you down into bed and tucking you in. “He’s doing good.” A kiss on the cheek and he continued his talking. “I was think’n, maybe after she’s born, we could see Tommy a little bit? Not much” Joel was quick to warn. ��Maybe just… once every month or two… so Dolly can know her uncle?” He was back to using Dolly… “Would you like that? See’n him a little bit here and there?” He was offering you an olive branch.

“Y-yes, I’d like that.” Tommy… seeing Tommy again… You wanted him so badly, you missed him so much it hurt… Lorenzo was a blessing, he was like a brother, but Tommy was someone special. A kind, soft heart in a world of monsters…

“Go to sleep, little one. Tomorrow’s a new day.”

You thought you shouldn’t sleep, given that you were clearly concussed, but Joel was so warm beside you, big and broad and protectively wrapping his arms around you… You allow yourself to drift off; there was no use fighting it anymore.

But tomorrow wouldn’t be a new day. Tomorrow would be the same thing. Cooking, cleaning, baby, sex… every day for the rest of your fucking life.

The next morning Joel brought you eggs and toast... Breakfast in bed like a good husband… You waited until it was safe to ask about Lorenzo.

Hesitantly, Joel let you go see him… he was alive, but barely. The gunshot went straight through, thank god, but the wound on his torso was already looking infected, and his face was deeply swollen and bruised; Jack was no nurse.

But Lorenzo was still Lorenzo. “Hey sweetheart, you look like shit”

You smile at him. “Yeah, you’re not exactly Han Solo yourself.”

“Now, how come you know who Han Solo is but you don’t know Fleetwood Mac?”

You go on to explain the comics and Joel telling you all about it while you care for his wounds, making little jabs at each other until you are done, and he grabs your hand; sincerity in his voice.

“What happened? After he shot me… what happened?”

Lip quivering, you answer. “Nothing, really. He took me into our room and he-he held me and cried-”

He furrowed his brow at that. “He cried or you cried?”

“B-Both” You whimpered.

“Jesus”

“And he-he-he he told me I made him do it, that it’s my fault and I was a bad mom-”

Lorenzo groaned, and went to scrub his face, but yelped and winced in pain from his pistol whip. “Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. I know I call you stupid and dumb and… I don’t understand why you stay, I really don’t… but…” He reached out and took your hand. “But this is not your fault. Even when you stay, even when you make him mad, it’s not your fault, and you are not a bad mom.”

You allow yourself to cry as he tells you, being perhaps the first person to say…

This isn’t your fault.

Two days later was when Joel left you next. You had sworn up and down you would forgive him so long as he got Lorenzo the medicine he needed, and tried your best to give him the best makeup ‘I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, Joel, I’ll do better next time, please don’t kill me’ sex you could give to smooth it all over.

The closet was locked; he kept your shoes in there, as he did any warm coats or gloves or anything that made aid in running away, but you didn’t care. You were going to the barn, you were taking a horse, and you were getting far, far away from here. You had a tinge of remorse for leaving Lorenzo; Joel will surely take it out on him, but you had gotten him his medicine and with it, a fighting chance.

Right now, you have to run. Nothing mattered more than your baby’s life.

It was cold, crisp, but not unbearable in your sweats, socks, shirt and jacket. You had to find your way to your family farm, find Zach and go. Joel didn’t know June existed, so she was safe from his rampage… if you were lucky, your dad might be who Joel takes it out on. Joel had told you if you tried to run, Zach was the first person he’d go to… but you wondered if now that Tommy was gone, Joel might go to wherever the hell Tommy was first.

You loved Tommy, there were few people who you loved like Tommy… but you loved your child more, and you prayed that Joel would go to Tommy first, buying you and Zach some time.

As you ran through the woods, your thoughts were scurried, desperately trying to find the barn in the darkness; there were few stars and no moon, and you had never been taught a sense of direction… You weren’t sure how to get to your family farm, but Christ, you were running for your life right now.

SMACK! You ran into a tree, no doubt adding to the horrific bruises on your face as is, but that's nothing compared to the horror of Nick’s skeleton under your body. You barely manage to cover your mouth from the scream as you fall backwards and scramble, trying desperately to get away.

As you run into a pair of legs, a hand covers your mouth this time and you scream, loud.

You are turned around and are suddenly face to face with Jack.

“Jesus fucking christ!” He whisper-shouts. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

You immediately begin begging. “Please! Please don’t tell Joel, I’ll go back! Please Jack he’ll fucking kill me, he’ll kill my baby please don’t tell-”

“Shut up!” He hisses, standing up from his crouched position to run his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK!” Jack begins pacing, considering his course of action. “We’re going back to the house.”

You nod obediently. You could figure out how to escape later, right now you needed Jack to keep a secret. You’d do whatever you needed to.

“Please don’t tell him, please” You sit up on your knees, wobbling with the belly but giving your best attempt to look pretty. “I’ll do whatever you want.” You’d suck him off, he could fuck your ass

“Jesus Christ, he’s got you fucked up.” Jack turns out, groaning, before helping you stand. “Get up, we gotta talk to Lorenzo, he’ll… fuck he’ll figure something out.”

Jack started walking, and you hesitated… you aren’t sure of you can trust him… but damn if you don’t have any other options. You look back and into the woods, debating your choices.. When you see a glint of silver in the grass near the skeleton.

A jackknife, the one Joel used to skin and castrate nick. You had no weapons… so you took it. It had a smooth wood handle with an ivory inlay, with a blunted out edge… the button struck a little as you practiced switching it in and out.

Not hearing your footsteps on the leaves, Jack turns around and urges you on.

He instructed you to stay put on the side of the house. He said Joel isn’t due back for a few hours, but just in case. Not long after, a stumbling and swearing Lorenzo is walking outside under Jack’s support.

“Of all the fucking times you wanna leave, you had to chose when I’m barely alive, huh?”

“I’m so-”

He holds up a hand. “Stahp.” His boston accent was thick with irritation and pain. “I’m just fucking with yuh, kid. Let’s get you to Tommy.” He began to walk, with Jack’s help, to the barn.

“But Zach-”

“Tommy is closer. I know where Zach was gonna take you, I’ll give Tommy the instructions.” He turned to Jack. “You need to go. Joel is gonna kill you if she and I left on your patrol.”

Jack shakes his head. “No, I don’t think he’d”

You spoke up. “He would. He told me he… he knows you and Tommy still talk. He doesn’ trust you.”

Jack groans again, rubbing his face.

Lorenzo continues. “Swing by and get Maura, anyone in proximity to this is in danger.”

“Fine, fine. Meeting in Boston?”

“Rapid City, we’re not there in 4 days, keep going. You know the plan once you get to Boston.”

You turned to Lorenzo. “Zach, Joel said-”

“Relax, sweetheart. Jack and I’ve had an escape plan ready to go just in case, and that involves your brother.”

The plan was for Jack to go to the farm and get Zach… if all went well, you’d meet up in Boston. There they’d find a friend of one of Lorenzo’s sisters, Tess, and she’d help you… You weren’t entirely sure about all of this, but Renzo would bring you to Tommy… Tommy would keep you safe.

Lorenzo wasted no time. He saddled up quickly and he and Jack helped you on the horse. You thanked Jack as he and Lorenzo hugged goodbye, and Lorenzo took off galloping for as long as his wounded body could take. He slowed down after half an hour, his weakening body slumping up against yours, telling you how to get to Jackson and what to tell Tommy should he fall over… If Lorenzo passed out and off the horse, there was no way to get him up in your condition…

Somewhere along the lines, you found yourself apologizing, apologizing for causing so much trouble, uprooting his life, uprooting all their lives, Tommy’s happy life in Jackson…

“Sweetheart, knock it off, I mean it.” He said in that harsh but loving tone. “Joel… he said you were nothing, that you were nothing to Tommy but that’s not true. I love you, Zach loves you, and Tommy absolutely loves you. We are doing this to give you and that baby a chance at survival.”

You continued into the night, until a group of men on horses approached with dogs.

“Lorenzo Alverano!” He shouted, and the men looked at each other. Quickly, you and Lorenzo were sniffed out for infection and hurried off into the city limits and brought to where you sound found out was Maria and Tommy’s home, the men banging on the doors.

It was Tommy who answered.

You didn’t look like yourself at all.

Even under the dim porchlight, Tommy could see the expanse of bruises and scratches on your face, your black eye, the hanging and strangulation marks and rope burn, the busted lip, the considerable amount of fat you’d lost… and of course, your 8 month round belly.

“Oh honey…” Tommy murmured before rushing to take you in his arms. “What did he do to you?”

You cried heavily in his arms as he guided you inside where another woman watched, questioning Lorenzo on the situation at hand. You were introduced to her, Maria, and although she was straight to business, you didn’t feel unwelcomed. Tommy would care for your emotional needs, Maria was planning your escape.

It was decided when she spoke. “Lorenzo, you’ll never make it to Casper the way you are, you’re staying here.” She turns to Tommy. “Take one of the travel bags and go.”

“Maria. ” You didn’t know if he was going to protest or what, but Maria stopped him short.

“Go. She needs you.” She looked… Sad, almost, as she turned to the men. “Get Lorenzo to a safehouse with a medic.” Back to Tommy. “You, get the horse and the bag and go. There isn't much time, Joel is gonna come barreling and we need to prove you’re gone.”

Back and forth, Tommy looked at you, then Maria, then you, then Maria… before standing up. “Okay.” and he headed out the door in a hurry.

Maria looked at you sympathetically. “Do you remember me?”

You tried to think… she looked familiar but- oh. “The first day.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Joel… I wanted to stop him, but I was trying to broker a deal to keep Jackson out of his grasp and…” Maria shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m honestly amazed you lived, knowing Joel.”

“Yeah.” You huff out. “Me too.”

“Tommy’ll get you to Boston, get you safe, take care of you…” She looked sadder, the more she talked…

“I’m sorry.” You couldn’t help but over apologize, it was ingrained in you now. “But once my babies safe, I’ll leave you and Tommy alone. He’ll be back and you’ll never hear from me again.”

She didn’t look like she believed you. “Sure. He’ll be back…” did she believe herself?

Despite Maria and Tommy’s insistence to hurry, they took their time saying goodbye, Maria grasping tightly to his body.

“I’ll be back, Maria. I swear. Get through the winter and I’ll be back first thaw, okay?”

Maria didn’t sound like she believed Tommy either.

One hand was around you, holding you tightly to him while the other guided the horse, urging it on to run as much as it could… you needed distance, as Joel likely already returned to the house and discovered you were missing by now.

It was a long while before he spoke.

“What did he do to you, honey?” It was that soft, low, ever-calming tone he used on you that never failed to make you felt into him… “How did this happen…”

You couldn’t help but tell him the story of the last 8 months since he’s been gone. The pregnancy, Lorenzo, the freedom, and exhausting housekeeping with a giant belly… How Joel began to see you as his wife, his maid, a person to make babies and clean the house… not as a person like you had thought.

Finally, you told him how Joel beat the ever-living fuck out of you, how he hung you from the tree and left you for dead… and how you called for him in your hysteria.

Tommy rested his head on yours, taking in the smell of your hair as he apologized for not being there for you.

When it was clear you weren’t getting much further, Tommy guided the horse to an old abandoned house he knew off in the woods. Tommy knew this area well, having made this trip many times throughout the years. The sleeping bag you were sent off with was intended to be shared between two people for body heat, but not necessarily a heavily pregnant person… the fit was tight, but nonetheless

you were comfortable in his arms. You were always comfortable in his arms.

“I’m glad you’re here, Tommy.” You spoke softly, drifting off to sleep.

“I am too, honey.” Tommy kissed the side of your face, and as the tiniest peak of light shown through the horizon, Tommy and you drifted off to the small amount of sleep you could before continuing on your journey to Boston, to start a new life.

*************

CW For a bomb threat on kids between the *******'s

*********************I work at a day care, it's week 2, and between waking up from nap and snack time we received a bomb threat. Our building evacuated around 100 kids to a nearby church. People where there to set up a anniversary party and were incredibly kind. They set up a tv for the kids to watch a movie, brought out water and crackers for our poor kids who didn't get their snack, and tissues for the teachers who were crying. its me i was teachers. I did great getting the kids to safety butt as soon as the action ended i was a mess. not long after a bunch of people arrived. My day care does child care for workers at the nearby hospital we are a part of so pretty soon lots of people where there including the hospital president, HR, and on sight counseling which I took part in. Turns out it was a middle school pulling a "prank". Law enforcement said they have never seen a building full of children evacuated that quickly and safely. Several of us are new. **************

this being said... I am exhausted. I cried a lot and my anxiety drained me... but I wrote this chapter bc writing helps me cope. So.... it's not my best writing but that's okay.

chapter 10 will probably take a while to see, because I need it to be perfect, absolutely perfect for you guys because you all deserve it. You maaaaaayyy just a small drabble bc there was a scene i wanted to include but it just didn't fit!

I go on a trip next week where I'll finally get to see Matchbx 20 who ive had tickets for since 2020 but covid ruined it lol...

I'm also working on a joel one shot for ya'll

anyway thak you all so so so much for your continued support!!!!! I love you all very very much

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

Anyone got any guesses for the grand finale? I would looooove to hear some theories!!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog@lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

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mkeztrm · 1 month

Text

- cigarettes after sex

“ and I’m kissing you, lying in my room. holding you until you fall asleep, and it’s just as good as I knew it would be. Stay with me, I don’t want you to leave. ”

Warnings(?): Toxic parents, 🍃 (barely)

nick sturniolo x m!reader(?)

I’ve never really written something like this before, so please keep that in mind 😭

Idk if this would be considered an m!reader thingy, but the character in first person is a male! I hope that makes sense 😞

——————————————————————————

All it took was the contact we made between our eyes, which ironically enough are also polar opposites.

Outside of my apartment complex stands a statue probably about a billion years old, it’s completely abandoned but it works as a perfect escape for when the world comes crashing down. I go there nearly every day, it’s really the only physical place I can go when shit gets rough at home. I can’t help but feel trapped in my own house whenever my parents have their little arguments, it’s like they forget they even have a kid. Today they started arguing because the dishes weren’t done, and somehow that just set off all of the missles in my mother’s heart, she snapped. So that’s why I’ve decided to go to the statue today, it’s my safe space when I don’t have one.

The area around me is swollen with plants, dark green vines wrapped around the chipped stone i sit on. As I’m walking down and pass the grassy corner I come to a sudden stop when I hear familiar footsteps around my spot. I slowly step forward and peek around to see a beautiful boy, around my age. His pretty brown hair is emphasized by the sunlight, and his heartstopping eyes are as well. I recognize him as the boy who lives down the hall, I’ve seen him a few times when I’ve had to leave the house. We’ve never spoke other than a simple “hey” or “hi”

“Hello? Hi sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

I quickly apologized before turning around. As I take my first step forward I hear his soothing voice.

“No, no you’re okay. I’m just taking pictures of the area. Do you want to join me?”

“If that wouldn’t be an issue, then yeah. I just need to get out of the house for a minute, you know?”

He watches me as I sit down, then he sits down next to me while he lowers his camera to his side. I can tell he’s as awkward as me, he’s just better at hiding it than I am.

“My name’s Nick, Nick sturniolo. What’s yours?”

“Oh, uh. My name is Jakson. Spelt J-A-K. You can just call me Jak though if you’d prefer.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jak.”

“Nice to meet you too, Nick”

with a smile across my face i look over to my right jacket pocket and pull out a lighter. I looked at him and gestured towards it, offering him a hit. He nods his head and says “Sure, why not. I’m not doing anything later anyway.” I hand him my lighter, then I hand him a joint that I pulled out of my pocket along with the lighter.

“But I could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then.”

Minutes turn into hours, hours turn into four more. Throughout our sesh we shared our reasoning for hanging out here so often. His surprised me, I didn’t expect him to be a triplet, let alone the oldest. He explained to me in full depth that he comes out here whenever his brothers get to be too obnoxious, or whenever he doesn’t want to participate in one of their stupid joke arguments. He told me that he loves them very much, he just needs some time for him self as well. I didn’t know somebody could understand me that well.

“And I’m taking pictures of you with flowers on the wall.”

As time goes by, my head ends up on his thighs. My head resting on him while we watch the stars together. He let out a soft giggle whenever I’d point out a constellation or a shooting star, and for some reason that made both myself and my heart happy. Being with him made my heart skip a beat everytime he spoke. I never knew it was possible to become so close to someone in only a day. I looked back up at him, and he looked down at me. He let out a smile, so I did too.

God, my heart was racing so fast. You guys just met, and you’re already each other’s only friend. Is it shameful to have these thoughts about some boy you’ve only seen in a hallway before this? Before I could continue thinking, he placed his hand on my head and gently stroked my head with that grin on his face. He kept eye contact with me, and put his other hand on my head as well.

I think I’ve finally fallen for somebody.

“Think I like you best when you’re just with me, and no one else.”

After a long while the sun starts to come up, but I’m still rested on his lap. He looked down at me, I looked back up at him.

nick holds my face tight and gently presses his soft lips against mine, leaving me no time to react. Not that I needed to react, he’s so heavenly. He grabs my hand and stands up so I stood up with him. I can tell he wants to say something, but his face shows his thoughts are jumbled.

“Could I get your number? I think we should come out here again and hangout. Next time I’ll bring a blanket and snacks if we’re out here for that long again.”

“Oh definitely. My number is (xxx)xxx-xxxx. Feel free to text me anytime you want, boy. I’ll always be available for you.”

we walked up to the apartment building together, he made sure I got home safe. Before i walked inside of my house I made sure to smile and wave. I waited until he had walked away to shut the door.

I made my way back to my bedroom and passed out asleep the moment I hit my mattresses. I love this boy.

——————————————————————————

HIII thanks for reading 🫶

I’m so sorry if this is bad, I really only write poems and I’m dyslexic as hell. I just wanted to write something for the first time and see how it went.

Please do not criticize this in the replies, I’m overly sensitive and will take it to heart 😭. /gen

————

@inlovewithmattstur lord how do you write so fast.

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journalsouppe · 28 days

Text

Many... many months late but here's my Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations spread!! What a fun ending to the original trilogy, I truly fall in love more and more with Ace Attorney with each installment I play.

Phoenix stickers are by Peachcott! Be Gay Solve Crimes is by Ozlisky!

Writing typed below!

Rating: 9.5 Played: Sp 2023 Port: Nintendo Switch Favorite? Y Replayable? Y Recommend? Y Series: Ace Attorney

Comments:

P for Penis

MIA POV LETS GO

Payne's hair is almost as bad as gossip's lip

Feenie is so cute and pathetic

FEENIE'S POUTY FACE

i absolutely love 3-1 it is such a good opening case

is the disbarment message foreshadowing...

omg Ron's sprites are really cute

YOU ATE IT???

i genuinely can't tell if Ron is guilty or not...

front facing Phoenix jumpscare

Adrian!!! She's doing well!!!

he said!! he said the name of the game!!!

omg i see the Godot/Barok resemblance

not the badgers in handcuffs (skull emoji)

is the red diamond desiree and ron is protecting her??

obsessed that Phoenix's first thought after finding out about Gumshoe's crush is to gossip with maya

who was that goth lady??

obsessed with godot

love the sax in godot's theme

phoenix is so shocked and speechless from the coffee LMAO

godot caught each seed with his mouth??

don tigre is SO red

Gumshoe x maggey is so cute

PUT THE JUDGE ON THE STAND!

she bit the badge (skull emoji)

mia is in a courtroom full of bozos

not the mormon beard judge

"YOU CAN'T JUST 'OOPS' YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS!'

diego zoo wee mama

BRATWORTH!!

"poor baby... the court record seems to have wet itself" insane thing to say

i think mia is officially my favorite

crazy 3-4 ending

omg i'm edgy

i don't like how maya is treating Nick in 3-5 :/

i'm going to punch bratworth

LOVE EDGEYS MUSIC PEARL IS STILL MISSING??

LOVE edgey vs fran

the building convo is giving me terrible flash backs

GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL NICK

love my silly girl gumshoe idk if kitten or princess is worse

3 DAUGHTERS?

morgan is so fucked up

dahlia is in maya's body... right?

go off pearls!!

when did pearl/mia get here T_T

a man??

EXECUTED?

THE SETUP IS SO CRAZY

everytime edgeworth opens his mouth the more im confident he's a gay man lmao

girl boss mia fey

Summary

THIS GAME WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. The setup throughout the whole trilogy was great, especially all within Trials and Tribulations. I love how bits and pieces of each case(or even large portions) had a ton of relevance to the final case. The characters were amazing and had great development, I loved playing as Mia and Edgeworth, that was such a delight, and im so glad we got to battle it out against Franziska as edgeworth. I love the other 2 games but the cohesiveness of the entire story within this game was spectacular. It truly reminded me of DGS 1&2 and why i love it so much. I really love how we also got to see young feenie, bratworth, and mia, the dialogue was especially entertaining. I cannot get over the twists and turns of the last case. I could never have predicted what was going to happen. I love complex mysteries like this, they're so entertaining but also im constantly thinking 'how do you even plan this all out?' The narumitsu in this game is so perfect too... omg. Incredible game , I absolutely loved it!

#journalsouppe #bullet journal #journal #video game journal #ace attorney #trials and tribulations #ace attorney trials and tribulations #aa3

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debbeh · 5 months

Note

can u give me a guide to the six idiots :33 like maybe with a picture of them n their names n who they play in the Big Three shows :33 pwetty peesse :33

UM YES!?

ok, you saw me earlier trying to format all the images so it's gonna be mostly my (ehhhh) descriptions of the characters and you gotta guess what they look like 😈

Ben Willbond

Yonderland:

Elder Vex (above): the one who says Deb-beh and has the coziest looking outfit I NEED IT RN PLZ and the Tom Cardy- esque hair and earring

Nick: the stick. Grumpy all the time cuz he's a stick >:(. Is also a portal between dimensions but whatevs

Horrible Histories

Mike Peabody :historical news reporter that wishes he were anywhere but here rn

King Henry, Alexander the Great: SkINy MaNdRiA, excellent hair, sniffed a guy

Ghosts

The captain: AKA James, makes a lotta noises, if you ever hear me going weeeahhhhhuuuueeeaaaaaahhhh, I'm referencing him, the gay one<3

Martha Howe-Douglas!

Yonderland!!

Debbie.

Debbie's evil twin sister (bossy boobs)

I just googled it: Rita, the Negatus simp AKA us, the demon that looks like how female animals are protrayed in Barbie movies

Horrible Histories!!!

Boudica (look up the song, it's rlly good), Cleopatra, every female historical figure

Pirate lady....<33333

Ghosts!

Lady Button (present day): Old disgruntled lady that pouts all the time and falls out of windows

Lady Button (flashback)

Mathew Baynton!!!

Yonderland!!!

Oracle: weird blue blob guy, Nigel, Darling

Nanny la roo: NUM NUMS!!!! - nanny that is also a kangaroo

Admiral Anous: Voldemort mf I hate him bc he hates Negatus>:(

Elder Choop: Croissant hair mf, says, "IDK WHY DON'T WE ASK UR MUM??"

Le Fox: French

THE BIRRDDDDD: AKA Thomas Payne, Batman but cooler

Oh yeah, and Elf: the elf shaped one, full name: Grintallin Gobscrew Crotell Fashanu F’naw Goplatz Holla-Holla, has multiple wives apparently and is in debt to the mob

Horible Histories (look all of them up, they are all hot)

Dick Turpin: play the song >:333, shot not one but two men dead!

D.I. Bones: the whakkus bonkkused

King Charles II: absolute party-er

Ghosts

Thomas Thorne, shot, dead! Absolute poetic simp for Allison, drowned himself in the lake ;( -cannot drown-

Jim Howik!!!

Yonderland

Elder Pressley: looks like Elvis, eats christmas tree ornaments

Crone: A sLaPper *wink wink*, has apparently gotten with everyone, goes eeeerrrrrrrrrrr all the time- sounds like a doorhinge, she is amazing

Neil: lhe most normal of the demons probably

Horrible Histories

A SHOUTY MAN!!! :does all the infomercials, will try to sell you piss

King George VI (above) : "oh yesss, dad's dead, I'm king..."

King Richard III: a sweet little guy<3 -according to the song, get's attacked by whasp

Ghosts

Pat Butcher: Greatest DJ in the AAARRREEEEEUHHHHH, killed by a child, AKA Pete in the American version

Larry Rickard

Yonderland

Detective Mounteback: very dumb detective with very large hat

Elder Ho Tan: trans Icon, doesn't like loud noises, absolute baby<3

Sue: above, the lady with the gun from the episode I showed you

Horrible Histories

Bob Hale: weather report, needs a hellicopter and a nice cup of tea, basically Bill Wurtz

Lol knight with shit on head, Aztec guy, George III friend who slays so hard; "ConGRatu-VerY-LaTiOns your... *MAgEsTy*"

Ghosts

Humphrey: keeps getting left on roofs and shelves, does NOT know French smh

Robin: 5,000 yo ghosts, once saw a cool butterfly, KNOWS FRENCH! Got stuck by lightning and now he can turn on lights

and finally... the moment you've been waiting for...

Simon Farnaby!!!

Yonderland!!!

Negatus<333: Silly guy try to take over Yonderland but is just a lil guy, has an evil lair, uses The Font of Orris (cauldron thing that lets you see everything) as a hot tub, get's bullied by all the other overlords, wears pjs with houses on them.

Elder Flowers!!!: Long hair and lack of shirt, vegetarian hippie of the group, wants his clothes to be veGONE, "all you need is love, brothers... oh, and food"

Horrible Histories

Emperor Caligula: the wakkus bonkkus guy

Marcus Licinius Crassus: Knockoff Bassline Junkie song

Ghosts:

Jullian!!!: Died conducting an affair with his secretary!!!, is eternally sorta drunk, does the hand thing, only ghost that can interact with stuff, makes silly EEERREREEEEE noise when he's trying to move something, his name is Trevor in the American version, sad when there's no porn on da TV ;(, has no pants BTW

Thanks for coming to my TEDTALK!!!

Lemme know if I missed anything!

#yonderland #bbcghosts #negatus #sixidiots #themthere #ghosts

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thedecadenceofwar · 9 months

Text

Everything’s gonna be perfect.

heartstopper season 2 meta & predictions

idk the more i think about it, the more the “everything’s gonna be perfect” line doesn’t strike me as a good thing.

so the full quote is:

“I can make sure that Nick doesn’t have to deal with what I did. I can protect him. Everything’s gonna be perfect.”

it’s a very absolute stance - and one that charlie isn’t necessarily wrong to take, considering that he was outed and he wants to make sure that the same thing doesn’t happen to nick. but-

this is his face when he says it.

we know for a fact that in the comic, charlie’s anorexia stems from his control issues. there were hints in season 1 foreshadowing his issues with food - namely scenes in the art room where he looks at his lunch box but doesn’t eat - but that doesn’t mean that season 2 will focus on those issues in particular. this statement, to me, however, does imply some level of attention to the source of those issues: the control.

charlie’s statement here is a controlling one. it’s not controlling in an abusive or toxic sense but charlie is stating his absolute need to control the situation around nick so that the circumstances are perfect for him to come out. “I can make sure...” “I can protect him.” “Everything [is...] perfect.”

but we got other hints in the trailer that nick is not telling charlie the full situation:

Ben: “Does Charlie know you don’t want to come out?”

Nick: “I do want to come out.”

(sorry for the lack of subtitles and bad screenshots... this is a bit on the fly)

nick is having trouble coming out but it’s a complicated situation, and he clearly talks to ben about this - the question is will he tell charlie that he talked to ben about this? i think he won’t - not right away, because charlie wants everything to be perfect, and i think nick knows that and he doesn’t want to hurt charlie’s feelings. but he’s clearly more distraught about coming out than he lets on:

(i mean, me taking any stem exam ever, but this moment occurs immediately after the above quote, and the trailer clearly wants us to make the connection, so i’m taking it and running with it.)

anyway, i think this moment is going to be a source of trouble for charlie over the course of the season. the thing is that it’s a hell of a statement for a 15-year-old to make, and he is dead-set on making sure it happens - his face is genuine and serious there, not happy. his face isn’t excited for the future; he’s not ready to face challenges alongside nick. he’s trying to play two steps ahead and clear the path for him. how is charlie going to “make sure” that nick doesn’t go through what he went through? how is he going to make everything perfect? he can’t. joe locke is giving something extremely complicated here: this is the face of a boy who needs everything to be perfect. this is the face of a boy who needs control. and he’s not going to be able to do it. and how is that going to manifest?

the title of the final episode of this season is “perfect.” i trust dr. oseman, phD and the creators to not give in to charlie and to turn the tides on that title: that everything doesn’t have to be perfect, that charlie is able to come to terms with the imperfections and messiness and complications of coming out and coming of age and being queer. perfection is a tall order, and charlie is demanding it. he’s not going to get it. he shouldn’t.

#heartstopper #heartstopper season 2 #heartstopper meta #heartstopper analysis #charlie spring #i love him can you tell?? this is my second charlie spring analysis post #god bless him i adore him #i hope this is coherent #my stuff

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kumezyzo · 3 months

Note

UGHH IM OBSESSED WITH FAMOUS!singer READER!!! can we do something where the readers at a show and they are backstage or something and sapnap suprises them? OR WHEN SAPNAP COMES OUT ON STAGE WHEN THEY ARE SINGING LIKE HE DID WITH DREAM

thank you! i hope this isn't too late to post 😭 (lets not pretend like we dont know this was requested MONTHS AGO)

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

after you and bf!sapnap announced your relationship, you went on a small tour. it was super cute to all of your fans because you two would be seen around the city you were performing in. or when you posted something about being in that city, he was in the background or in your photo creds.

a lot of your fans wanted him to come out on stage for one of your songs. specifically, one of the ones you openly said was written for him. or one that he helped write!

bf!sapnap did post pictures from each of your concerts, dont get it twisted. whether it was backstage as you were getting ready and/or doing warm-ups or from the audience in an area people didn't know he was in. until they heard him screaming about you being amazing.

so, at your last concert, everyone was looking around for him like a venue full of hawks. it even got to the point where people started chanting his name. the memebers of your team thought it was so funny. the security in front of the stage looked around at each other, very confused by why they weren't chanting the name of the actual person performing. you had to come out and break the news to the audience.

"okay, guys, before we start, i know you want nick here," you started, looking around sadly. "but he couldn't make it today. something came up."

everyone in the crowd made noises of discontent at your words. you nodded solemnly with them, then you heard someone distantly call out: "bullshit! bring your man out here!!"

you laughed at that as the rest of the venue did as well, "guys, i really wish he was here too! but he's been at every show, so it's fine." you shrugged, proceeding to start the show.

bf!sapnap back stage thought it was really funny how the mood changed quickly through the venue. it made him feel happy as well, knowing that your fans wanted to see him as much at they wanted to see you. maybe even a little more than you.

when you came backstage for the intermission, bf!sapnap was there watching you drink water and cool down for a bit. he had to steal a few kisses. before and after you applied a new lip colour.

you got to the point right before your last two songs, and you had to make your exit speech.

"thank you guys so much for coming out! I really hope you enjoyed the show. we're gonna finish this with two more songs that you guys-"

you let out a scream at the feeling of two arms wrap around you and swooping you up and spinning around with you. the crowd started screaming when you were set down and saw bf!sapnap kissing you deeply. you whined into the kiss, glaring at him when he pulled away.

you let out a huff, putting the microphone to your mouth, "you weren’t supposed to come out yet! you had a cue!"

he chuckled breathily, smiling at you widely before he took the microphone from you. "you just looked so pretty, baby," the crowd erupted in screams. he turned to the rest of the crowd, "and i had to say hi to everyone else! how about we get this shit started?"

bf!sapnap who sang all the high notes in your songs, basically stealing the show. he had such a stage presence, singing to you and hopping around the stage. he kissed you so much the whole time, and the videos people posted after were captioned with 'i feel like we were interrupting something'.

the edits were so fucking crazy too-

idk how i feel about this one. -Nony

#sapnap #anon #asks #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #dteam #sapnap x y/n #sapnap fluff #sapnap x singer reader #bf!sapnap #singer!reader #sapnap x reader fluff #dream team fluff #fluff

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dre6ming · 1 year

Text

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter VIII ~ I wished on a dandelion

Masterlist < all chapters are here>

Instagram photo dump masterlist

To be added to the tag list click HERE <but I’ve reached my limit of 50 tags per post so idk>

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: anxiety, cursing, age gap (10years), kissing, crying, fluff, angst …. hope that’s all

Plot: you try to get Austin out of your system by dating Joshua, but it feels so wrong to string him along. Eventually you and Austin give in and sparks fly

Word count: ~6900

Disclaimer: everything is fake :))

March 12th

My heart is racing and my hands are trembling. If 10 years ago you've told me, that I'd be here, walking the Oscar's red carpet as a nominee, I probably would've laughed right in your face. Regardless here I am now, and it feels like the air is too thick to breath in. "Hey, calm down, sweet dumpling." Timmy places his hand at the small of my back rubbing reassuring circles. I try to relax, shaking my shoulders slightly to release some of the tension in them. "You've got this." He whispers in my ear. I nod, but really I don't believe him, seems unreal, what's happening right now.

"And the Oscar, for best actress in a lead role, goes to" Scarlet Johansson makes a pause in her speech and the room goes quiet, I can almost hear my heart thudding against my rib cage. "(Y/n) (L/n), Reconstructing Amelia." There's this annoying buzzing in my ears, everything is blurry, but I can feel Timmy shake me awake, as I turn my head to him, smiling brightly. "You won!" He screams at me, wearing his most sincere smile, with tears at the bream of his eyes. "I did, oh fuck, I did!" I say hugging him and quickly, getting up to walk over on the stage and get my award.

My legs are shaking and I'm sweating, so I wipe my hands on my pants before taking the award from Chris Evans, after hugging both him and Scarlet. Standing in front of the microphone, with lights shining in my eyes and the crowd watching me, I get cold chills down my spine. "This is an extraordinary honor, that the academy, has granted me. No award has the power to truly define something so subjective as art, but it is fulfilling when you receive it nonetheless. I want to congratulate all the other nominees and everyone who was brave enough to make and put out a movie this year, regardless of it being on any list tonight or not. Acting is truly an escape for me, I find comfort in being able to tell the story of so many people with just one person. I want to thank my teachers, my fans, my team, my costars, for constant support and a great long partnership, it takes a village and this award is for every person in my life who supports me, loves me, teaches me, who guides me and who trusts me to have the privilege of doing what I love. Thank you!" I lift my award up in the air, letting out a few nervous laughs, before carefully stepping off the stage and right into Timmy's arms, where I start to cry profusely. "I'm so proud of you sweet dumpling" he says kissing my hair, squeezing me as tight as he can in his arms.

"Come on let's get your name on the thing!" He says, dragging me over to the station where they engrave your name on the award. "I can't believe this is real." I watch wide eyed as my name gets put on the gold statue. The happiness I feel right now is unmatched to anything I've felt before. It's a high so maddening I wish for it to never end. "Of course it did, you're so talented, bug" I laugh at his nick name for me, one he hasn't used in years. "Thank you." I whisper leaning into his shoulder, as Timmy puts one arm over my shoulder, caressing my arm. "For what, bug?" Giving him the side eye, we break into laughter, knowing full well his big ego shines bright. "For everything, big brother" his eyes glimmer with tears and he sniffs quickly, trying to hold them back.

After getting the award engraved, I had the stay for the rest of the ceremony. My movie ended up winning a few more categories, taking home 4 awards total. Then it's fast forward to the hotel room, to get changed for the after party and fixing up my makeup since I cried most of it off. "Ready to go?" Jeremiah asks, popping up the collar of his silk shirt. "Yeah" I giggle, smoothing the fabric of my dress. I chose a pink and orange number, decided it reminded me a lot of the outfit Taylor wore when she won, album of the year, at the Grammys, for the second time.

The party was nice, I guess I could say I had fun, but I'm not the party person. Crowded events make me nervous, I hate meeting new people and the whole time I had this bubble in my chest, ready to burst. It isn't until me and Timmy are out of the elevator and into my very quiet, very big, very empty apartment, that the bubble bursts.

My vision gets blurry and tears start flowing. "W-what's wrong?" Timothee asks worried, holding my shoulders. "Why am I not enough?" I say fully breaking down and falling in his arms. He understands what I mean. Why am I not enough for my parents? As my knees give up on me, Timmy catches me and carries me bridal style to my room, placing me on the bed and cuddling close to me. "Shh you are enough, bug, you are everything!" He says over and over again. I hear the words, but they mean nothing, he's not the one I want to hear saying those things. So I keep crying into his shoulder, clinging onto his shirt, shaking with every sob, while he keeps comforting me. I fall asleep in his arms and just like that the happiest day of my life, was also one of the saddest.

March 14th

Breathing in deeply, I look at myself in the mirror. The white wedding dress, fits me perfectly and my hair is neatly done. I look gorgeous. I really do. I'll be honest here, I was never that kind of girl who dreamed of her wedding, or pictured the perfect dress, but I do have to say, standing here all glammed and ready to walk down the aisle, I understand why some people love fantasizing about their wedding day.

This music video is going to look beautiful, for the past week or so, me and Joshua have been going back and forth with ideas, adding as many little Easter eggs as possible. The wedding scene is inspired by Bella's and Edward's wedding in Twilight. My prom dress is green, like the one in the movie "tick tick boom" and these are just a few small details.

After talking to Taylor and waking up that morning, texting Joshua was a bit of an impulse decision. He and I had a nice dinner and we laughed a lot, but it felt like hanging out with a best friend, nothing more. Still that didn't stop me from kissing him when he left. I close my eyes sighing, I know I'm a horrible person, because I keep telling myself I'll feel it, but no matter how many time I kiss him, all I think about is Austin and how good it would feel if it were him.

Austin...I groan at the thought of him, turning away from the mirror and scratching the inside of my palm, to stop myself from running my hands through my hair. I haven't talked to him since that night. He texted me a couple of times and I replied with short, empty texts. He called one time also, but I was with Joshua at the time and I rejected the call, so he never called again. Distancing myself from Austin, didn't help much with getting him out of my head, if anything it made it worse, cause I'm always wondering what he's doing, how he's doing. I must've stalked every fan page ever created for him, but all that did was remind me of why I should keep my distance. The comments about me and him, didn't die down since he always likes and comments on my instagram posts, giving fans every reason to believe something is going on between us.

"Ready?" Someone from production comes and asks me. "Yeah" I say, lifting the front of my dress up and walking after the girl.

March 17th

It's 5:20 am, too early for anything, but here I am in the back of my car as Matt drives to the airport for our flight to LA, which leaves in 2 and a half hours. "Ugh I hate mornings!" I groan taking a big sip of my coffee, making Matt laugh at me. "I know miss, I'm sorry!" Shaking my head, I take my phone out, opening instagram and posting a few stills from the music video, which comes out this Friday, same release date as my single. Of course my team tried to push for Joshua to wait and release it next week, but his team kept insisting a double release would create enough clout for the both of us. Before I get to finish the post my phone buzzes with a text from Austin?!

Austin B🕺:

Hey, are you in LA?

Me:

No, not yet, had something come up and had to push leaving for LA by two days.

Austin B🕺:

Oh, I see. Do you still want to come over?

Me:

Um yeah, sure, maybe Thursday?

Austin B🕺:

Perfect. Here's my address: location

Me:

Ok, what time should I be over?

Austin B🕺:

2pm? Making pizza from scratch takes time.

Me:

Ok, c u

Austin B🕺:

Got it!

After closing my texts with him, I try to get my heart back to it's normal rhythm, because just like every other time I spoke to him, my heart jumped out of my chest. I can't stop the stupid smile from spreading on my face. "Good news?" Matt asks me, causing me to blink rapidly trying to focus my eyes. "Um yeah, no, sure, I mean-" I stumble over my words. "Got it miss, I was just messing with you" he says grinning.

Looking out the window, it's nice to see New York come alive as 6 am rolls around. The city never really sleeps, but there's definitely a drop in the activity level at night. I look at the people running around, bumping into each other, living their normal lives, some are going to work, some are on their way to run an errand, some are on their way to some school they go to.

I sight turning my head, the thought of school brings this tremendous guilt in me. I loved school, I loved learning, at one point I almost considered my parents idea, of going to college, but my career was just picking up and I couldn't miss those opportunities. Now I could probably do it, but I feel like if I do, I'd loose momentum, I have an album on the way, I'm in the process of auditioning for more things, I couldn't handle college on top of all this. I've been in this weird spiral of thought for almost a week now, I haven't talked to my parents in so long, my mom stopped calling as well and now I have a little golden statue staring at me, telling about all the things I did to deserve being ignored by them. My therapist and Timmy keep telling me nothing in this world should make my parents act like this, but my head begs to differ.

Matt opens my door, taking me by surprise and I wipe a single tear form my cheek, before he notices. "Thank you!" I say smiling at him.

We walk to the gate and I keep my head down, trying to avoid attention. After going through security, I sit around waiting for Matt to come back with something to eat, I feel very faint and like everything is spinning, I haven't eaten in a day or two, I can't remember. It's exhausting to try and stop thinking about all the things that keep me up at night, also working hard and running around on very little sleep, is just not sustainable. "Here you are miss, eat this." I make a disgusted face at the tomato sandwich he brought over. Usually that would be my favorite thing to eat, but right now I'm at this point of starvation where everything looks nauseating. "I know but you have to" I take the sandwich in my hands and take little bites out of it, slowly getting myself to enjoy it. "Good, eat it all, I got you a chocolate bar as well, your favorite, caramel filling" Matt shows me the chocolate bar and I take a couple more bite out of the sandwich. It does actually feel good to have something in my stomach.

March 18th

"My goodness you look amazing" Brianna and Jeremiah say at the same time. "Orange is your color kid" Levis says, giving me a good look over. Today is the day I have the shoot for Variety magazine with Austin. I chose a custom made orange dress by Teuta Matoshi, the butterflies on the shoulders match the ones on my hair clips and my orange makeup definitely makes my eyes pop out. "Thank you guys"

"Ok so first you'll be taking the pictures and then the interview, both you and Austin already have the questions, so be calm" Levis says as one of the Verity assistants comes over to show me the way on set. Walking over to where they sat a piano and a guitar, my eyes wondere around and then I see him. Tall, blonde, in a black leather jacket and as he turns around I see he's wearing an orange top, to match my dress. My heart skips a beat when his eyes land on me and a big smile gets plastered on his face. "Hi there gorgeous!" Austin says coming over.

My heart starts running laps in my chest. "A-Austin, hello" I try to move over the fact that he called me gorgeous and the fact that I just stammered, because of it. He lets out a chuckle, looking over at someone calling his name. This is not going to be good if I keep acting like this around him, going over to his house tomorrow will be just awkward. "Ok so we want you over at the piano and Austin you can sit on the floor, hold the guitar." We take our positions, sitting down at the piano, looking at the keys, I run my fingers over them. Playing its like second nature, so I just do it, without even thinking that's not what I'm supposed to. I'm playing "dandelions", not singing any of the lyrics, but still, knowing this song is about the boy sitting on the ground next to me, makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, like I wish for him to figure out this song is about him. Finding some sense in my head, I quickly stop playing mouthing a small apology. I don't dare to look at Austin, I just pose as they tell me too.

"Ok, now, we'd like Austin at the piano and you (Y/n) sitting on top of it." Getting up, I kindly take the help of one of the production assistants, stepping on the small stool and sitting on the piano. I cross my legs and for a second I break my promise not to look at Austin, when the slit on my long dress falls open, revealing my thigh and he lets out a growl. My eyes meet his blue ones, his pupils are blown wide and there's a slight pink tint to his cheeks. Austin looks like a deer caught in the headlights, wide eyed, frozen on the spot. "Breathe" he whispers, making me feel the burn in my lungs. Looking away, I try to breathe, hoping it's not that obvious to everyone in the room that he just took my breath away.

The photographers snap a few shots of us and then someone says it's time for a break after which we'll get to filming the interview. I'm stuck on the piano waiting for someone to help me get down. Austin comes into my vision field smirking. "Need some help?" I don't trust my voice to sound normal, so I simply nod. "Ok" he places both hands on either side of me, holding them up, not touching me. "Can I?" Austin asks and I offer another small nod, but he shakes his head smirking "I need you to say it, darling" there it is, that pet name again, I didn't even realize how much I've missed it in the time I tried to avoid Austin.

"Yes, please" I let out batting my lashes at him, gasping when I feel his flaming palms on my waist. I brace myself on his shoulders, as he lifts me up, placing me on the ground. Nothing too bad, except there's a moment there when he holds me up, just for a second longer and our faces are inches apart, Austin's breath brushing my cheek. "Thanks" I cringe at how breathless that sounded and I move past him.

"Is everything ok? You've been avoiding me." Austin asks, walking by my side. Fuck he has me figured out. "Yeah, no, I've been busy" fiddling with the skirt of my dress, I still avoid meeting his face. "Lies" Austin states and then using one long finger he lifts my chin up, forcing our eyes to meet again. "I missed talking to you" I gasp, looking around, nobody seems to be paying any mind to us. "Why do you keep avoiding me? Did I do something?" He looks genuinely concerned that he might have done something to make me ignore him. Something in the back of my brain screams at me that I should tell him the truth, that I have a huge crush on him and I'm stringing along another boy in the hopes of forgetting him.

"No, Austin, you didn't, I've just been having a hard time, 'm not in the best place right now." Not a lie, only not the truth I wanted to say. "What's wrong?" I sigh, taking a step back and shaking my head. I'm not willing to discuss this with him, now or maybe ever. "Ok people let's go, everyone back to your spots, it's late already." Thanking god for this very welcomed interruption, I turn and move over to my chair.

The interview goes by fast, even though we talked for almost two hours. At one point I was looking into Austin's eyes and it felt like it was just the two of us, two close friends catching up. We got a tad carried away, asking questions that weren't scripted, but the director loved it, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Now I'm in hair and makeup getting everything taken off, fidgeting in my chair, ready to go sleep. A knock on the door, makes both me and the girl taking care of taking off my glam, look in it's direction. There, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, is Austin smiling. Walking to sit into the empty chair next to me. "So do you like pineapple on pizza or not?" He squints hie eyes at me, waiting for my answer, making me snort. "I like pineapple on pizza"

"Blasphemy" he says scrunching up his nose, making a disgusted face. "Oh come on!" I laugh at his clear disapproval. "It tastes good." I try to reason with him but he doesn't seem to have it, as he starts waving his hands around to make me stop talking. "What song were you playing earlier? I don't think I recognized it." His question takes me by surprise and I feel the heat rising into my cheeks, painting them a scarlet shade. Austin lifts his brows up at me, as I have not answered his question. What should I do?

I slide my fingers over my lips, mimicking the action of zipping them shut, which makes Austin, throw his head back laughing. "Fine don't tell me, but just so you know it sounds beautiful, does it have lyrics yet?" I simply shrug my shoulders smirking at him. "I'm done here!" The girl attending to my make up says and I thank her.

As I jump out of my chair, I almost fall down, stumbling over my own feet, but Austin is quick to catch me. "Careful there!" He warns, before taking his hands off of me and putting them into the pockets of his jeans. "Thanks." I mumble, taking my bag and walking out of the room, with him hot on my heels. "Ready to go miss?" Matt asks, getting up from his chair. "Yes, Matt, I'm ready" I glance at Austin and smile at him, offering a little wave, but he surprises me by bringing me in for a hug. I melt into his arms, feeling the warmth of his body against mine, inhaling his scent. I'm getting drunk on the feeling of being cocooned by him. "I'll see you tomorrow, don't be late." Austin whispers, causing shivers to run down my spine.

When we pull apart I try to sit up straight, fixing my bag on my shoulder and pushing some hair behind my ears. "I won't" is all I say, before turning on my hills and walking fast in the direction of the parking lot, jumping into the car as soon as I can. In the small enclosed space, away from him, my thoughts clear up and I decide I should text Joshua, tell him how today went, but I'll avoid any of my interaction with Austin. We haven't put a label on what me and Joshua are, but feels like for him we're already dating, maybe we are and I'm just slow.

Me:

Wyd? 2day was grate 4 me, the interview, came out amazing.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Glad 2 hear. I'm good, had a late morning and then went in the studio 4 a few hours.

Me:

Anything I can hear?

🎶Joshua🎶:

Not yet, it's mostly scraps.

Me:

I'm sure it's amazing.

🎶Joshua🎶:

Doing anything exciting while in LA?

Me:

Not really, no. I'll be back in a week, I have to go for an audition in person.

🎶Joshua🎶:

I miss you💟

Me:

Me 2 💟

I put my phone in my bag and lean forward. "Matt can I get my own car? I want to go around on my own a bit." I say, hoping he won't question me on it. "Sure miss, if you want you can have this one, no need to rent another one." I nod, sitting back in my seat, counting my fingers, something I do to calm myself down. When Matt parks the car, I don't wait for him to come around and open the door for me, walking out and straight into the elevator. "Here miss, for later." He hands me the car keys and I thank him.

The hotel room looks nice, but I miss home, I miss my cats. Throwing myself on the bed, I snuggle under the thick covers, falling asleep quickly. When I wake up a few hours later I'm confused by the dark room, but when I look at my phone it makes sense, it's 10pm. Groaning annoyed I throw my hands and feet around, trashing the bed. I know I won't be able to fall asleep anymore, so the next best thing that comes to mind is to go out. Grabbing my jacket and putting it on, I pull out the keys that were still in the pocket of it, spinning them on my finger.

All my excitement dies down when I get in the drivers seat and see the car is an automatic, I've never driven one before. "Ugh" I slam my head against the steering wheel, fighting back tears. "Ok I can do this." I try to keep my cool, quickly googling instructions on driving an automatic. Thank god for google, in an hour I manage to get an idea of what I'm supposed to do, so I turn the car on and slowly drive away.

LA definitely looks beautiful at night, but it's still too crowded for me and I know there's no place where I could go and not get photographed. I listen to my GPS and make a right turn at the next intersection, spotting the store I need. Grinning I park in a spot far away for the entrance. I promised Austin, I'd teach him how to crochet, so I'll keep my word.

Walking around I pick a few colors of yarn and a few crochet hooks, you really don't need much for this hobby. After paying for my things, I smile at the nice cashier and make my way back to my car. Deciding next I could drive to McDonald's and maybe get something to eat, it's almost midnight, but I could use a bite to eat. The drive through is empty, so I get my order pretty quick and as I'm eating in the car, it occurs to me that this is a great time to film one of my video journals for my therapist. Putting my phone on the dash I start recording myself.

"I feel empty?! I think" I sigh, eating some more of my chicken nuggets. "I've been feeling numb, maybe that's more correct. Like I have empathy inside, but I don't really care." And that's when it hits me, this could be a song, not just one of my video diaries I send to my therapist. "Oh my, this, wait a minute." Searching desperately in my bag, I fish out a pen, then putting the car in drive I go back to the window. "Hi, hello, can I please have some more tissues?" I ask smiling, the girl at the register clearly flustered. "Yes, oh my god, you're (Y/n), right? I'm such a big fan." It warms my heart to hear this, I love my fans and I love when they have the courage to talk to me. "Yes, would you like an autograph? I'm not really feeling that picture ready right now." The girl nods eagerly, handing me a tissue to sing. "Who should I make this to?" I ask "Amber" nodding I sign my name and add a cute message for her. "Thank you" she says, offering me a huge stack of tissues. "No, please, thank you."

Back in the parking lot I start scribbling away, words flowing through my pen. Hours later, I think I have something I'm happy with, so I put my phone back on the dash and start recording. "Hi Jack, yeah, so it's" I look at the time and widen my eyes, it's 4am, I've been here for four hours. "Anyway, 4am, god, well, I just got this idea, I named it, numb little bug" I clear my throat and start singing. "I don't feel a single thing, have the pills done too much, haven't caught up with my friends in weeks and now, we're out of touch."

Ok so the part with the pills is a lie, I don't actually have any prescribed medication, but it sounded good, so we'll just go with it.

"I've been driving in LA and the world just feels to big" I keep singing and when I'm done, pleased with my work, I fold all the tissues neatly and put them in my purse, driving to my hotel. Maybe I'll catch some sleep before I go meet up with Austin.

After a long shower, I get under the covers, but I don't feel sleepy, so I take my phone and make sure to text the recording to Jack, then I open instagram. The first thing I see are pictures of me making out with Joshua. This is getting out of hand. Sitting my phone down, I stare at the ceiling, praying for sleep to find me, which thankfully it eventually does. Next time I wake up is 10am and I call Jack on face time to talk to him about the new song I send.

"So I loved it, I think we can make it sound real pop, you know, and dancy" I nod and pick up my ukulele, playin softly. "Like this?" I ask, as I keep playing and he goes over to the keyboard, playing a mixture of high and low notes. "I love it" I say and start singing along to the music. We keep at it for the next two hours and then I have to get up and get ready for my day with Austin.

A pair of mom jeans and a tank top with a cardigan will have to do it for now, it's not like it's a date or anything. For my hair I decide to braid it and add some cute hair clips to it. Then I'm out the door, already worried I'll be late.

As I dive humming along to the radio, I look in my rearview mirror and notice a car driving very close behind me, then I notice the guy on the right seat, holding up a camera. My anxiety picks up and I ask Siri to call Austin on speaker. "Hey there!" His sweet voice comes through the phone. "Austin I'm being followed, I'm, I-" I'm panicking is what I'm doing. "Ok are you alone? Where's your security?" Austin tries to keep calm, but I can hear, the change in his voice. "Yes, im alone, I'm in the car." I hear him sigh and then there's just silence. "Austin?" I ask hoping he didn't just end the call.

"I'm here, stay calm, tell me where you are" I breathe through my nose, holding back hot tears, trying to focus my eyes on the road. "I'm on main with 34th street." I sob, tightening my hands around the wheel and looking back to see the car still close behind me. Paparazzi can sometimes be too intrusive, dangerous even. "Ok there should be a sign in a couple of yards, pointing to the highway."

"The highway? Austin I've never driven on the highway and I'm driving an automatic, which I drove for the first time just a few hours ago." My voice picks up in volume and I hear a weird ringing in my ears. I'm having a full on panic attack. "Shhh you'll be fine, come on, do you see the sign?" I try to focus, looking for the sign and spotting it, right in front. I take a sharp left and then in just a few minutes I find myself on the highway. "I'm on the highway, now what?"

"Are they still after you?" Austin asks. "Yes" I say after checking. "Ok, take the exit on 56th boulevard and then the first right." I push the gas, gaining some distance between me and the car, then follow Austin's instructions. "Ok, done." I look back and I can't see them anymore. "I think I lost them" Austin let's out a breath and so do I. "Ok I'll stay with you, you're not far from my place now." Swallowing hard I set my GPS back up and follow it, with Austin still on the phone. "I think I see you're gate." I say

"Ok I'm opening it now." I look one more time again making sure I'm still free of those guys from earlier, then drive through the gate. After I stop the car, I just sit there, still. I can't move, too high on adrenaline. When my door opens, I let out a scream and put my hands up to protect myself. "Hey, hey, it's ok, (y/n) it's me, Austin" he takes me in his arms and pulls me out of the car, holding me close to his chest. "You're safe" he says, petting my back slowly. I burry my face in his chest, taking in his musky scent. "I was so scared." I say, letting my tears fall, soaking into his black shirt that he has on.

"I know, my darling, I know, come on." Austin bends down and placing both hands behind my thighs, he lifts me up. I hang onto him like a monkey, with my arms around his neck and my legs locked behind him. Being a gentleman he supports me up, by my back. I love how good this feels I don't even dare to let my brain process that this is wrong. "Wait. Take the bag, from the car." Austin walks around, opening the passenger seat door and taking my bag as well as the bag holding the crochet supplies. He carries me around like I weight, nothing, walking through his open front door and closing it behind himself.

Austin sits down on the couch with me, tightly wrapped around him, so now I'm straddling his lap, with my head in the crook of his neck. His big palms caress up and down my back, soothing me. I don't want this to ever stop. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." Austin says, speaking low, as if he's afraid he'll scare me, if his voice got too loud. I pull away a bit, to be able to look at him and he takes my face in his hands, wiping my cheeks, with the pads of his thumbs. His blue eyes so deep, I could get lost in them forever. One of his hands, moves some loose pieces of my hair away and then as his eyes fall on my neck, anger flashes on his face. I furrow my brows confused. "He's here with you, in LA?" I search his face, for a clue about what the hell he means.

Austin blows air through his nostrils and then snaps his eyes away from my neck and back into my eyes, holding eye contact. "What?" "Is Joshua here with you?" Austin asks only adding fuel to my growing confusion. Touching my neck on the spot where Austin's eyes were fixed, I remember the purple bruise Joshua left there. Is he angry at that? And if he is, why is that? "N-no" my voice in barely a whisper and I try not to cry again.

Hearing my answer, Austin's eyes soften again, then one of his hands comes to sit on top of mine on my neck. I feel dizzy, the breath getting caught in my lungs. I look at him flushed, shallow breaths falling from my lips and onto his. When my lips brush over his, I realize we've been slowly getting closer and closer. "What are you doing?" I ask, out of breath, forcing myself to listen to that small part of my brain, that screams at me this is wrong. "Tell me to stop, please!" Austin begs me, his plush, soft lips, slowly touching mine as he speaks. I wish to make myself able to say 'stop' , but I can't. I want this too much, it feels so safe, familiar and warm. Like every worry in the world has just vanished. For a second I wonder if this is just a highly realistic dream again.

"(Y/n)" Austin says out of breath, like his making an effort to keep calm. My name sounds like burning embers, coming out of his mouth and I tremble. "Austin" I say, like I craved saying it for so long. "Can I kiss you?" Austin asks and every fiber of me saying I should stop right now and leave, loses to the stronger part of me, that has been wondering how his lips would feel against mine. "Please !" I plead and then he brings my face closer, finally smashing his lips against mine. It's hungry, hurried, raw, but also tender and sweet. Our lips move in perfect sink, nothing has ever felt so wrong but so good. Butterflies flap their wings around in my belly, my head flying on another planet. Starting to feel more and more comfortable, I lace my fingers in his hair, pulling at the roots, making Austin groan in my mouth. His tongue, brushes against my lower lip and I open my mouth for him, letting him take full control.

Austin's hands move over to my waist, holding me flush against his chest. He tastes so good, like mint and burnt sugar. I could stay like this an eternity, in his lap, with his tongue exploring my mouth. Our hearts beat in sink, our moves fluid. When we break apart, we stay with our foreheads glued together, breathing heavy. "I should know better, but I don't, please don't hate me!" Austin says, squeezing my waist. "I should know better as well, but I don't" I say, but Austin shakes his head, pulling me back so he can look me in the eyes. "You're 19, I'm 29, I should be the one knowing better" What he just said, leaves me stuck, he's so right, but I don't know if the fact that he knows, this thing between us shouldn't be happening, changes anything. "I wanted to do that for a while now." I say, making him smile brightly. "You did?" He asks with a strange glimmer in his eyes.

Biting my lip, I nod, scratching his scalp, causing him to close his eyes and throw his head back. I stare at his Adam's apple and leaning forward I kiss it, feeling the vibration of his growl against my lips. I pepper kisses up his neck, then his chin, then the corner of his mouth and finally his lips. We both sigh into the kiss. One of his hands comes up to hold the back of my head. "I wished upon a dandelion for you" I say against his lips and he pulls back to look at me. "Really? Well seems like that wish came true."

"Do you want to hear the song?" I ask smiling down at him. Austin nods and I get off of his lap. "May I?" I ask pointing to the white piano in his living room. "Yes, please!" Austin responds. Sitting down at the piano, I look back at him on the couch and pat the spot next to me. He jumps over the back of the couch and comes to sit next to me, kissing the top of my head. "Ok, this is 'Dandelions'" I start playing, looking at him connect the dots in his brain, a huge smile stretching on his lips as he figures out it's the song from yesterday. "Maybe it's the way you say my name, maybe it's the way you play your game, but it's so good, I've never known anybody like you. But it's so good I've never dreamed of nobody like you and I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine. I'm in the field of dandelions wishing on everyone that you would be mine."

I sing with all my heart and I feel Austin watch me close. Finishing the song, Austin quickly grabs my face and kisses me. It's open mouthed and warm, my emotions furling inside me, my heart running laps in my chest. "I loved it, it's beautiful. Did you really write it for me?" Austin asks surprised. "Yes, I did. Austin I like you, I do"

"I like you too." He says happily, brushing his nose against mine. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Austin asks, looking at me, brushing some strands of loose hair out of my face. "Yes, but we need to move slow. I still have my reservations about this." I say. "Of course, you set the pace, I promise." I smile at Austin and hug him. "Do you still want to make pizza?" Austin asks. I giggle excited and get up, rolling up the sleeves of my cardigan. "Hell yeah" I say. Austin laughs, getting up from the piano bench and showing me the way to his kitchen.

"Here little chef" he says, putting an apron over my head, helping me tie it at the back. Being short, I have to fold it a bit on itself at the waist but it's fine. "I bought the set specially for today, I don't usually care for my clothes getting dirty." Austin says as he turns around and I tie his apron, like he did for me. "I should've asked if they come in sizes, sorry"

"Eh it's fine, the more of my clothes it covers, the better, I'm a messy cook" I say grinning.

Austin claps his hands. "Ready to learn how to make pizza?" He asks rubbing his palms together. "Yes sir, teach away" he bites his bottom lip, shaking his head. "You're gonna be the death of me, my darling"

"Say it again" I request, before I can stop the words coming out of my mouth. Austin bends down, bringing his mouth to my ear, making the hair on my arms stand up. "My darling" he says, in a low voice. "Now let's make some pizza, my sweet darling" he grins at me standing up straight and I roll my eyes at him, pushing against his chest playfully.

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sturnstar169 · 3 months

Text

Guys this is my first fanfic and yeah also my first smut so yeah (this is pt one pt 2 will be out soon 🫣)

What it’s ab: you go over to your boyfriend Matt’s house and it leads to silly stuff

WARNINGS; smut!!! Gang if you don’t like it don’t read it, fem!reader idk what else to put

(I don’t have a real name for it yet lmao)

MATT STURNIOLO pt 1

I was walking to matt’s house to hang out with him when I got a text.

“by the way Chris and nick aren’t here so we have the house to ourselves :)” he knew what that meant and I could tell he was excited.

“Ohh okayyy” I responded quickly before speeding up my walking slightly. I knew what that meant and I wanted to get there as fast as possible.

As I arrive at the house I see Matt in the window waiting for me. I walk up to the door and it’s immediately opened by the tall brunette and a kiss from him. I lean into the kiss, taking it from something gentle to something more passionate before pulling away and smiling.

“Movie?” I asked while fidgeting with his hoodie string.

“Mhm” he responded with a smile and I feel his hand sneak around my waist.

We make our way to the couch and I immediately snuggle up to him, I feel him drawing simple patterns on my skin under my shirt and couldn’t help but blush.

I feel his hand fidgeting with the waistband of my sweatpants, dipping under it every once in a while.

“Matt..” I say quietly and heavily blushing.

“Yes, princess?” He says nonchalantly and unknowingly even though he knew exactly what he was doing.

I give him a look and he just continues teasing the waistband of my sweatpants. Our faces were so close it was killing me.

“Matt can we take this.. um.. upstairs..?” I say blushing heavily and looking away.

I feel his hand cup my cheek gently, guiding my gaze back to him.

“Of course, my pretty girl.” He says in a voice he knew would drive me crazy.

He got up and held my hand as we headed upstairs to his bedroom. He leads me to the bed and quickly lays down next to me.

“What did you plan on doing, princess?” He asked innocently even though he knew exactly what I wanted.

“Matt, cmon.. you know what I—“

I get cut off by a passionate yet gentle kiss from him. I feel his hand around my waist again as my hands tangle in his hair gently. I couldn’t help but moan into the kiss quietly and i see him adjusting the bulge in his pants. We start taking off our clothes quickly and are soon only in our underwear.

“God, you’re so beautiful..” I hear him whisper under his breath before kissing me again, this time moving his kisses down my neck and collarbone.

I can’t help but let out a small, quiet whimper. He laughs and I shoot him a look. He continues to kiss my collarbone and chest slowly.. painfully slowly.

“Matt please.. stop teasing—“

He loved teasing. He loved watching me squirm and let out little noises. He loved knowing I couldn’t take it anymore and was completely at his mercy. He knew I hated it though.

“Not yet pretty girl”

Are you kidding??? Pretty girl?? Right now??? I almost completely came undone right there just from his words. He said it in a way that made me blush to high heaven. He continued kissing down my stomach and pulled me to the edge of the bed and kneeled on the floor in front of me.

“Matt please..” I say looking down at him desperately.

“Please what baby?” He said in a tone that was almost mocking me.

“Please, stop teasing— it’s..” I find myself struggling to even get a full sentence out.

I feel him start kissing my thighs, alternating between each thigh. He slowly makes his way up my thighs and finally gets to the seam of my underwear after what feels like forever.

“Fuck.. So wet already..” I hear him whispering to himself and teasing me by dragging one finger over my clothed pussy.

I let out a small moan as he increased the pressure on my clit.

“Moaning already? I haven’t even done anything yet.” He said cockily and I rolled my eyes.

He continued teasing me and I couldn’t help but let out more quiet moans. I feel him pull my underwear down my legs so slowly it made me want to scream.

“Matt— I need.. please..”

He looked at me as he starts teasing me again. He kissed my inner thigh once before going and sucking on my clit gently. I couldn’t help but moan loudly.

“Shh, shh baby.. I got you, okay?” He said it so sweetly I almost folded right there.

He continued to lick and suck on me until I was a whimpering, moaning mess. He propped my thighs up on his shoulder as he continued. I looked down at him quickly and he was looking at me the whole time.

“Matt— please.. oh— fuck..” I could barely get a word out without moaning.

I was gripping the sheets below me as he took his finger and teased my entrance. He looked up at me and chuckled softly at how weak he could get me.

“Hold on princess, I’ll give you what you want just hold on..” he said as he pushed one finger in me slowly and started pumping it in and out, increasing his speed with each thrust of his hand.

“M- Matt— oh- s- shit-” I say moaning every word and looking down at him briefly before squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

He was looking straight at me and the way his hands and tongue moved together sent me spiraling into a world of pleasure.

“There you go baby,” he said in a calm voice as he continued pleasing me.

“Matt— im gonna— im—“ I struggled to get my sentence out as he increased the speed of his fingers and tongue.

“It’s okay baby, I got you.” He gently stroked my thigh with his free hand reassuringly.

I felt his fingers curl in me as he applied just the right amount of pressure to my

g-spot and he continued to suck gently on my clit.

“Matt— im—“ without another warning I cum, letting out loud moans and gripping the sheets tightly.

I look down at him and his movements slowed down significantly. I breathe heavily as he looks at me gently.

“Fuck.. you did so good baby, so good.” He said it so sweetly as took his fingers out and licked them clean.

He came back up to my face and kissed both my cheeks gently before looking at me lovingly. He loved making me feel good and we both knew it.

“Are you too tired or can we do.. um.. more..?” He said that significantly quieter than anything else tonight.

I loved how shy he got when he talked about things like that even though we’ve done it countless times. I cupped his cheek and put our foreheads together and I gave him a gentle kiss.

“We can do more, it’s okay.” I reassured him as i stroked his cheek gently.

He excitedly started pulling his pants and boxers down. I quickly stopped him.

“No no, not yet.” I said in a calm voice.

I move up on the bed more and lay down and then motion for him to take his pants and boxers off. He quickly does and gets on top of me. He aligns himself with my entrance quickly.

“G-go slow at first..” I say slightly nervous.

No matter how many times we’ve had sex I’ve never fully adjusted to how big he was. He nodded and slowly started pushing inside me. I let out small whimpers as he puts the first couple inches in and he looks at me for reassurance, the pleasure clear on his face.

“Oh fuck..” I hear him groan out as he slowly started to thrust in and out of me.

He looks at me for reassurance to go faster, i nod at him and grip the sheets as he goes slightly faster.

“M- Matt- cl- close—“ i weakly whimper out as i grip onto his shoulder tightly.

“Okay.. h.. hold on baby, okay? Just a

little— longer.. fuck—“ he tried his hardest not to be whimper too much while he talked.

“I can’t.. too— m-“ I can’t battle the moans threatening to escape my mouth and stop talking and my words immediately get replaced by more whimpers and moans.

“I’m—“ without another warning I came again, letting out more whimpers and hiding my flushed face in his chest.

He slowed down his thrusts as he felt me clench around him. He put his hands on either side of my head and his horse chain dangled off his neck and I couldn’t help but notice how his hair stuck to his forehead. I could visibly see the pleasure on his face.

He pulled out right before he came, getting it on the mattress, making sure he didn’t get it on me.

“S-shit.. oh god.. you’re incredible..” he said panting and his face flushed.

I look up at him, out of breath and clearly worn out.

“You took me so well baby.. so well, youre amazing princess. I love you pretty girl.” He said it so sweetly and I couldn’t help but smile and blush.

I loved how he always praised me after we did things and how loving he was towards me.

“When do they.. come home..?” I asked knowing Chris and Nick shouldn’t be out much longer.

“About 30 minutes,” he clearly composed himself a lot faster than I did.

He got up and grabbed some of his clothes for me and some underwear I guess I left at his house last time. He helped me get dressed and quickly got dressed himself.

He got back on the bed and cuddled up to me. He was a big baby when it came to aftercare. He was always making sure I was okay.

“You took me so well baby.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissing my cheek.

I look up at him, giving him a gentle but passionate kiss. He kissed me back before sneaking a hand to my side and gently tickling me.

“Matt!! No! You’re NOT tickling me-!” I say giggling and trying to push his hands away.

He continued tickling me but soon hit a dead end when I curled into a ball and he couldn’t reach my ticklish spot’s anymore.

“Aww that’s no fun.” He said faking a frown and pretending to be upset.

I give him a tight hug and close my eyes. I loved cuddling him, he always smelled great and was so warm.

“You smell good..” I say, clearly tired and still closing my eyes.

“C’mon cutie, go to sleep. I’ll be right here.” He said lovingly as he caressed my back gently.

He lifted my leg so it was over his hip and he could hold me easier. I snuggle up to him more and almost immediately fall asleep.

“Shh, shh, there you go baby,” he whispered to me as I fell asleep.

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