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mistydeyes · 7 months

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a collection of random late night thoughts from a high reader: pt ii

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summary: You're back at it again but this time following a joint Air Force mission in Colorado. Price and Gaz learned their lesson so Ghost and Soap are here to entertain your texts.

read part i here!

pairing: 141, laswell, konig x platonic!reader

warnings: swearing, implied drug use

a/n: okay just a lil something something as I make my way through my inbox! you guys have such cool ideas I SWEAR

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r/n: guys i’m upset you didn’t show me these pictures of you :(

ghost: what the fuck are you talking about

r/n: these :((

r/n:

r/n: @ghost @soap i'm making some snack do you want some?

ghost: if it’s that crap you bought from walmart i’m good

soap: I SMELL POPTARTS

soap: TOAST THE STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE ONES

soap: IM COMING DOWNSTAIRS NOW

ghost: please go the fuck to sleep

r/n: do you guys think that if we had a show about us it would get a movie?

ghost: you know half of our missions are top secret

r/n: I KNOW but imagine if it was like marvel and i got to be played by a celebrity

gaz: they're all hotter than you, no one can channel that ugly mug of yours

r/n: FUCKING FIGHT ME YOU ACTOR WANNABE

r/n: if we were a family:

price would be the dad falling asleep to the history channel

laswell is definitely the fun aunt (she sneaks me wine during holidays)

ghost is your angsty older brother who listens to screamo

soap is the middle child who sets fire to things

gaz is the baby brother and is always sticky🤢

r/n: alejandro and rudy are those uncles who you only see on facebook and they’re either at disney or on vacation abroad

soap: correction i set fire to dolls and make them into one supreme action figure

r/n: alejandro you never told me you met lady gaga (*questioned by alejandro*)

r/n: spotify link to alejandro by lady gaga

ghost: i cant see the links

r/n: ofc you’d be the asshole who uses apple music over spotify

r/n: i miss farah

farah: i miss you too <3

r/n: too bad you’re far-ahway

farah: 😐

r/n: i’ve figured it out

r/n: price is lana coded, gaz is hozier, ghost is a mix of artic monkeys and the 1975, and soap is ajr coded (derogatory)

soap: why do you always shit on me

r/n: just listen to bang! that’s so you

r/n: can we get matching tattoos?!?

ghost, gaz, price, soap: no.

r/n: too late, i already sent an artist these

r/n:

ghost: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT STOP SINGING THE STATES AND CAPITALS SONG I WILL MURDER YOU

r/n: but i was just getting to delaware :(

r/n: you should use this link, price

price: okay, yeet

gaz: he’s becoming too powerful

#task force 141 x reader #task force 141 #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare #cod mwii #modern warfare 2 #simon ghost riley #call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #mw2 imagine #madebyizzie #141 headcanons #mw2 headcanons #fragrance #mw2 #johnny soap mactavish #kate laswell #konig modern warfare #izzie is writing

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elijah-loyal · 4 months

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@autumnalmess outfit reveal tonight 🙏🙏🙏

honestly it just looks like a strange-ish enjolras cosplay

first three are just in the undershirt (linen, handsewn) with suspenders (walmart from when i visited the us; y'all it's SOMETHIN) because I don't have period-accurate braces yet, and my dress pants bc the nice ones i made were dirty (ignore the docs i didn't want my bare feet on the internet).

second three are with the addition of the waistcoat (handsewn, from my own pattern) and a sort of half-cravat?? (it's crane-patterned, like the bird, not the construction kind)

bonus enjolras playing hozier's 'NFWMB'

#no shit these are some of the comfiest clothes i own #aside from the dress pants #like these are so nice to move around in #i have full range of motion #hooray for tailoring skills #les mis #les miserables #enjolras #les amis #les amis de l'abc #hozier #??#trans #trans enjolras #because i said so #ftm #transgender

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year

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Fashion Advice Needed

I'm calling in fellow weirdos, I am FINALLY at a point in my life where I can go to a concert(FINALLY)! Hozier is performing just about 24hrs away from me this October. So I splurged, said fuck it, and bought a ticket.

Yes, I do need to plan out the trip, and how I'll save up for travel, etc.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO PLAN MY OUTFIT.

Cause I'm going to see HOZIER (the 'Take Me to Church' guy). The issue is I dress like Hank Schrader in my rural-town day-to-day life.

I have always worn flannel/blue jeans/leather jacket person. I shop in the men's section of Walmart and only splurge on steel-toed boots. I want to have some fun and try some new shit for this concert. I don't want to be in a huge Blue city looking like I just stepped off a farm.

I want to go to this concert and get labeled as Queer by fellow Queers.

Yes, I know it's a Hozier concert, and most of his fans are in the community, but STILL.

I never spend money on clothes and I never branch out. So I need yawl's suggestions.

I'm talking cottage core dresses, concert-appropriate alt fashion, indie, 70's, lace, leather, ETC.

For some more reference, I'm a 5'10 twig. Dark wavy shoulder-length hair by October if it matters? I am willing to go Fem or Masc. on this, so don't worry too hard about something being 'out of fashion'.

Any help is appreciated.

I'm tagging those I trust for a variety of opinions and styles, but don't feel pressured to respond. If you're just scrolling past this on Tumblr and have no idea who I am, Hello!

@mossiestpiglet @estrogengerard @estrogengerard @gydima @vicsuragi @sugashook @dianetastesmetal @mad-dyspunktional

@treesofgreen @downinthehull

I love you all, and if you decide to, I hope you enjoy playing dress-up! Have fun with it!

#hozier #Hozier 2023 #fashion advice needed #This is probably the most Butch thing I've done. Asking a group of people on the internet to pick out an outfit for me #besides wear hiking boots for five years straight 'casue they're comfy' before coming out #that was a lot #butch lesbian #Not really what I am #but close enough #Why can't we all just wear a graphic tee and jeans #it makes life so much easier

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figsandphiltatos · 4 days

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tagged by @deadchannelradio! thanks!! i'll always take the opportunity to talk ad nauseam about music i'm listening to lol

shuffle your on repeat playlist (on spotify) and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people

1. Pigs is Pigs by Mannequin Pussy — what an incredible first pull. uhm. sorry for the screamo ass punk music but also consider that i literally JUST saw them in concert and this song goes so hard. it's not sung by their front woman (who totally deserves her flowers), but i LOVE colins' vocals. not a lyric in the song, but what he said at the concert was 'we don't need police, we need community' and fuck yes. this is such a good band if you have an opportunity to see them in concert do it holy fuck they're so good haha 😬👍

2. American Teenager by Ethel Cain — i know exactly two (2) ethel cain songs but this one goes hard what can i say. peak speeding down the highway singing at the top of your lungs music (don't speed, dive safe kids)

3. Control by Mannequin Pussy — it's gonna be a lot of mannequin pussy on here,,,,,,, lmao. this song is great tho!

4. Too Sweet by Hozier — there's probably gonna be a lot of hozier on here too lol. he released new music which always makes me ill, but also unreal unearth unheard has been sooo good for the oc's i've recently been throwing around like ragdolls in my head lol

5. I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy — 'and what if jesus himself ate my fucking snatch?' need i say more? this is maybe one of their best songs lol

6. Smog by Indigo De Souza — everyone go listen to all of indigo de souza's music RIGHT. NOW. thanks :)

7. Clean Slate by The Mountain Goats — this is another band that released a new album recently(ish) and i've just been a bit ill about some of the songs. the trumpets are especially fun in this one lol

8. Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain — okay so stick with me on this one. it's a great song first of all (insane that it's on the same album as american teenager lmao but go off ethel) but i've mostly been listening to it for oc purposes. this oc is kinda a vessel for working through feelings about gods and faith, and the way that both gods and the faithful need each other and shape each other. essentially,,, in a universe where gods are sustained by the faith of their followers, what happens when all but one of their followers is wiped out. in what ways do those two entities change and warp and love and destroy each other. ya know. just coping with senior year of college things tbh. anyway it's a great song :3

9. Apollo by Momma — this song has fun instrumentation, makes brain go brr. also!!! very on theme for the previously mentioned oc and thinking about gods and the weird relationships you can have with them.

10. Same as Cash by The Mountain Goats —IN YOUR CAR WITH YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS AT THE FAR END OF THE WALMART PARKING LOT, TRYING NOT TO BUCKLE UNDER THE STRAIN, STRIKING A BARGAIN WITH THE IMP IN YOUR BRAIN, PREPAIRED TO TAKE ANOTHER KNOCK FOR THE SHORT GANG, BUT YOU CAN ASK ANY VETERAN RUNNING BACK, EVENTUALLY YOUR JOINTS COMPLAIN. this song is so special to me no one will ever understand it like i do (only bitches who have worked long hours at an understaffed walmart during the pandemic while couch surfing bc you just left your shitty home situation will ever understand what john is trying to say here like i do tbh. entirely possible john doesn't even understand it like i do [this is a joke. art is personal and always ripe for meaningful and individual interpretation. pls don't shoot me]). but everyone should listen to it anyway, the violins and piano are so so fun and good

hahaaaa i told you i could talk soo much about the music i like, unfortunately for y'all

@darkravenstag @thrustin-timberlake @mitebitmurderous @johaerys-writes @sabrirene @sarcasticbeanie @seethestarsalittlecloser @sleeperagentclone @notacluedo @alive-ontheinside

(no pressure ofc!!! and if you don't have spotify i say just go hog wild and talk about songs you've been enjoying no one can stop you)

#also shout out to moth tower who doesn't have their music on spotify but has absolutely been getting me thru this trying time #it's dungeon synth music which is an insane rabbit hole i could go down on its own but if you're looking for music without lyrics #i would highly recommend giving them a try #figs sillies

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liverpool-enjoyer · 23 days

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reading the müllendowski parts in uefa high & that moment where robert assures marco he chooses him while music is playing but is actually thinking abt dancing with thomas made me think of hozier’s almost (sweet music) - “same kind of music haunts her bedroom; i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - and then i fell to my knees in walmart

anon are you,,, hacking into my computer??? cause i was literally rereading a mullendowski chapter of uefa high AS YOU SENT ME THIS (yeah i reread my own fic sometimes i get bored ok)

but yeah i listened to this song n,,, oh man. im also falling to my knees in walmart. that uefa high mullendowski playlist is becoming more n more inevitable.

#UGHHHH I LOVE TALKING ABT UEFA HIGH MULLENDOWSKI #THANK YOU MAN #ty for the ask <3 #thomas muller #robert lewandowski #mullendowski #bayern munich #uefa high

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jayflrt · 2 months

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random tmi of the day ?

fav food / drink ?

fav subject / topic ?

fav aesthetic ?

any celeb or irl crushes ?

fav book / quote / literature ?

fav song u listened to today ?

fav time of day ?

intro/extro/ambivert ?

ever dreamt of idols ?

10 QUESTIONS FOR U <3

here to spread some joy in the mundane !!!!

send to ur fave blogs to show luv + some fun Qs

omg this looks fun!!! thanks for sending this in love 🥰💗 and i hope you're doing well 🫶

1. i had a dream that i rounded up all the girl scouts in my neighborhood and told them they were only allowed to go home if each of them gave me a box of thin mints and samoas

2. probably biriyani or tacos for food. for drinks i like water

3. cognitive psychology was my fav

4. i don't have an aesthetic in general 😦

5. JAY

6. i've actually just gotten back into reading because i haven't been able to read casually in college 🤧 i remember the book thief had me in shambles, i've been meaning to reread it

7. eat your young by hozier

8. im a night owl 🙏

9. extrovert

10. sort of?? not full on dreams around them but if i'm in walmart in a dream sequence then heeseung could be the cashier or smthn

#💌 : love notes #anon

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lokilickedme · 3 years

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Not me and my husband hijacking the shared Spotify account back and forth all day, no Your Honor, that wouldn’t be our love language at all

#I always know when he's in his car because my Bang Your Head Till The Migraine Comes playlist switches to Scandinavian Death Metal #the Google Home will be sweetly playing Volbeat or NIN or whatever the boys and I are using to concentrate on schoolwork #and suddenly James Hetfield is screaming or god help us he's in a Halestorm kinda mood #when the Nightwish starts I know he's gonna call me in just about ten minutes from WalMart to ask me what aisle the refried beans are on #so I steal the music back until he's done shopping and we know the second he gets back in his car because it switches to Buddy Guy or SRV #so we listen to that for a few minutes before Little yells HEY GOOGLE PLAY THE THEME FROM SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #and then husband calls me from Harbor Freight and asks me to text him this week's 20 percent off coupon #so we've got another half hour while he's dicking around in the hardware store and we play the shit out of Hozier #halfway through Nobody the music switches to Bullet For My Valentine and we spend the next ten minutes yanking it back and forth #until he gets home and goes in his studio and starts playing guitar so loud the neighbors think we're hosting AneurysmFest over here #and Little's got the Minecraft Zombie Pigman Love Theme playing on the Google Home #and Big's got Mantovani Moods or whatever on the record player in his room because he's an eclectic kinda guy #and I've got one of my fic-themed playlists going through the TV in my bedroom #and Elle King or the Stones going in the kitchen while I cook supper #I would say WELL DUH LLM MAYBE THIS IS WHY YOUR NERVES MAKE THAT WEIRD NOISE ALL THE TIME but naw #this is what keeps that weird noise under control :)#and you can pry it from my shaky nervous fingers when I'm laying in my casket switching the Spotify back to Buckcherry and Arctic Monkeys

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asdthoughts · 3 years

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tips for shutdowns/meltdowns/overloads

*note- i apologize for the lack of color/organization, colors strain my eyes too much. i am also using small words n statements bc i’m currently v overstimulated so i’m sorry if sum words aren’t clear. /gen

follow autistic/neurodivergent accs on insta (or any other social media but the ones that i’ve found most helpful have been on insta), they post lots of tips and helpful info as well as validation and encouragement. sum of these can be found under #happeycore :)

apps like jelly dream (watch jellyfish, customize the lighting, and change the types of jellyfish), heat pad (changes color as you tap on the screen with your body heat), fidget toy pack (has lots and lots of different fidget toys that r virtual), etc. help me a lot bc they either help me get energy out or give me smthn calming to do while i calm down

listening to 8d/slowed/pitched down music, rain, nature sounds, etc. helps me as it gives my brain a calm thing to focus on. i usually listen to the neighborhood, arctic monkeys, hozier, the 1975, etc. slowed down.

noise canceling headphones r a lifesaver. the ones i have for a gun range, they’re hollow n create a vacuum around ur ears, and i highly recommend them. if not, earplugs, earbuds, or even just a pillow over ur head, can help a lot.

fidget toys. this seems obvious but they can rly help. if u can’t get some, trying getting the like $2 kids toys at like the checkout lines or smthn. just smthn small and cheap so you can say ur gonna give it to a kid if u need to. like i got a rubber dino to squeeze, and a shark with those squishy beads in it from a dollar store.

try engaging with ur special interest. sometimes it’s hard to even have the energy to keep ur eyes open but, if u have the energy, smthn as simple as holding an item that’s related to a special interest/hyperfixation can help a lot. like for me, i hold some of my favorite rocks, watch the jellyfish or ocean things, or count my stickers.

try changing ur clothes or surroundings. sometimes those can be part of the problem without u realizing. i always try to change into my comfy pajamas if i can. i recommend getting the workout clothes from like target or walmart (or the pajamas that don’t look a lot like pajamas), or getting a seam ripper to thoroughly get the tags off, for really soft clothes.

try to use an alternative form of communication. writing, signing, typing, texting, using a text to speech voice, etc. even if u have the energy to talk, sometimes it’s best to save the energy u have. it can b hard to feel comfortable doing that so i’d suggest not trying to do smthn that’ll just work u up more but if u feel comfy, it can help a lot.

*i probs have more but i’m tired. also check the tags pls. feel free to rb/comment any tips u have :)

#these r obvi just what work for me so idk if they’ll work for anyone else but #hope this helps u guys #normally in a lot more energetic n smiley but i’m lowkey shutdown n this took me like an hour to type lol #nv rambles #e screams #actually autistic #spd #asd #autistic meltdown #neurodivergent #actually neurodiverse #autistic

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coderedblood · 2 years

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List of reasons I’m still alive:

1. My loved ones (especially my mom, and including the ones that I have yet to meet)

2. My friends, including the ones I haven’t met yet

3. Music I have and haven’t listened to

4. The music I’ve yet to make and sing

5. That really positive Shaggy meme where he proclaims we will all flourish

6. Jack Perry

7. Capitalism is still a thing and I want to be part of/witness its destruction

8. I have not been the first non-binary person to portray the following roles in musicals: Evan Hansen in Dear Evan Hansen, The Phantom in Phantom of the Opera, Charlie in Kinky Boots and Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ Superstar

9. I have also not been the first non-binary person to hold the world heavyweight championship in ANY wrestling promotion and be the top dog of the company (Think Kenny Omega for AEW or Roman Reigns for WWE, that’s what I mean), the one EVERYONE has to go through

10. I have not yet mastered singing Waving Through a Window, And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going, Defying Gravity or A Million Dreams

11. My own place, I haven’t gotten my own place to live yet

12. The patriarchy also still a thing, and I want that gone too

13. Securing of human rights

14. I have way more laughs in me

15. Steam Powered Giraffe

16. They Might Be Giants

17. Laura Jane Grace/Against Me!

18. Interpol

19. Tobias Forge/Ghost/Repugnant

20. Will Wood and Will Wood and The Tapeworms

21. Hozier

22. AFI (Crash Love rocks!)

23. Death Cab for Cutie

24. Hollywood Undead

25. A collaborative tour between SPG, TMBG, Will Wood, Ghost Death Cab for Cutie

26. Professional wrestling

27. Deathmatches

28. Independent wrestling

29. So many colors to dye my hair

30. Experimental eye surgery that will give me red eyes

31. I haven’t yet learned how to play the guitar or the violin

32. I haven’t yet become fluent in another language (I want to be fluent in Spanish, Japanese and French by the time I die)

33. I haven’t yet had every single flavor of Mountain Dew

34. So many people to fight for and love

35. I ’ve yet to visit the following places: NYC, Iceland, New Zealand, Mexico, Peru, Canada, the Bat Sanctuary in Texas (fuck their new abortion law), that dude who makes special shaped coffins in England, Ireland, Against the Grain’s (a gluten free company that specializes in carbohydrated products like pizza and bread) factory/HQ, Thailand, Japan, Malaysia, Nairobi, Kenya in general, and basically everywhere! I’ll eat anything once and go anywhere once! Oh except for Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. My extremely unpleasant grandparents live there with their equally unpleasant son and daughter. Oh and Greenfield. That’s where my douche cousin and his douche family live.

36. I want to establish children’s homes, hospitals, animal shelters and homeless shelters with top-quality equipment, housing, healthcare, anything that is needed and is too expensive

37. This sounds materialistic but I love clothes and there is always amazing stuff coming out that I wanna wear. And also three words: jammie sets. I love jammie sets, I’m a sucker for matching jammies! And I just got three adorable pairs from Walmart (capitalist monsters I know, and I know it was selfish to take the jammies but it’s something small that helps make me happy) and they are awesome! The specific part of this is I got a set for colder weather and I’m so excited to wear it on colder days and on Halloween! (I’m from the west US and where I come from, you can trick or treat no matter what age you are. I’ve handed out candy to babies, seniors, anyone of any age you name it, they’ve gotten treats! But where I live now, in the Midwest, if you trick or treat and you’re not under 12, you can and often will get the cops called on you. It sucks.) I haven’t given candy out in that jammie set!

38. I have yet to sing onstage with Lady Gaga, Steam Powered Giraffe, They Might Be Giants, Against Me!/Laura Jane Grace, Ghost, Interpol, Avenged Sevenfold, and Oingo Boingo/Danny Elfman

39. I wanna get into a better place so I won’t be judged for how I am or how I prefer to dress (goth/emo/punk if you’re curious! My family does not care for how I dress, and are always saying I dress “too extravagantly”)

40. I will be the first person to break the toxic cycle that has lasted in my family for generations

41. I haven’t yet gotten top surgery (having boobs especially with one nearly double the size of the other is such a massive goddamn pain in the ass)

42. I have not cussed the following out in their stupid jerk faces: Donald Trump, Chris Jericho, Darby Allin, Jim Cornette, Vince Russo, Candace Owens, Tomi Lahren, Tucker Carlson, Perez Hilton, my father, Anthony Kiedis, Ben Shapiro, Michale Graves, you know what pretty much ANY member past or present of the Misfits (Glenn Danzig supported Trump’s travel ban on predominantly Muslim countries and Jerry Only donated to the Trump campaign in the past, plus Von Doyle is in a relationship with a woman over 20 years his junior which is hella creepy), every member of the Proud Boys, Richard Spencer, every member (past and present and future) of the Nazi, Neo-Nazi and Ku Klux Klan parties, Chris Brown, DaBaby, Alberto Del Rio, Austin Aries, Tila Tequila, Ricky Schroder, Brock Turner, Kyle Rittenhouse, Lauren Boebert, Brett Kavanaugh, Clarence Thomas, Amy Coney Barrett, Hunter Moore (legit fuck that guy I wish bad things on him) and more will follow

43. I have not spit, urinated, defecated and/or vomited on the resting places of the following: Andrew Jackson, Thomas Jefferson, Grover Cleveland, John Wayne, Queen Elizabeth and her gross husband (I forget his gross name), Johnny Ramone, Harry and Bess Truman, can’t believe I forgot John Lennon and Ayn Rand (I fucking hate John Lennon and Ayn Rand), Luke Scarpa (or unfortunately bka Chief Jay Strongbow, who was an Italian-American wrestler who played an American Indian character), Espero de Corti (unfortunately also known for playing American Indians, most famously known as the “American Indian shedding a single tear” from the Keep American Beautiful campaign in the 70s, also Italian-American), John Money, HP Lovecraft, I’d desecrate GG Allin’s grave but if there’s an afterlife I wish to give him no satisfaction so he’s an honorable mention, and more will follow

44. I wish to live in a world where POC aren’t killed by cops or colonizers (what’s the difference really?), where American Indians and indigenous peoples aren’t denied basic human rights and the women aren’t raped as often as they are, where Black people can live without fear (especially in America), where there are no borders in our countries, where Palestine, Afghanistan, Yemen, Iran, and any other countries/groups of people live free of violence, fear and rape, where women and girls have the same rights as the men and boys and childhood sounds are laughter and not bombs

45. I want to be around for the defunding of American police because fuck them

46. I haven’t yet wrestled Minoru Suzuki, Necro Butcher, Kudo Megumi or Nick Gage and lived to tell the tale

47. I have yet to face Veny (Asuka 1998) and Max The Impaler in wrestling

48. I am a huge fan of the Misfits but their singers/band members have all been varying shades of problematic (you know, Michale Graves is a Proud Boy, Danzig and Only are Trump supporters, Wolfgang’s dating a woman over 20 years younger than he is), so I want to cover all my favorite songs of theirs and give the proceeds to BLM, Antifa, and every other thing their musicians are against so I can do my part to make those songs as unproblematic as possible

49. I I have yet to voice a character and sing a song for either Vivienne Medrano, Jorge Gutierrez, Dana Terrace, Tim Burton, Guillermo Del Toro or Matt Braly’s series/movies

50. Miro talking about his hot, flexible wife CJ

51. Jorge Gutierrez talking about his wife Sandra, I love how he calls her “the muse”

52. I have to fix the reputation of the song Airplanes because it is too beautiful to be used as a slash backdrop for Twilight Sparkle/Mordecai (Goddamn it)

53. I have to help people (and myself!) secure BASIC FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT’S GENERATIONS OF DEBATE

I’ll add more. I just feel really good right now. I know life is a mixture and I’m so full of trauma and pain that I am afraid of happiness, but today, I’m going to embrace it. Embrace happiness when I have it, instead of being afraid and hiding waiting for something bad to happen. They do happen, but so does happiness and good things. I’m slowly learning this. Being abused for most of your life makes you really scared. I’ll step out of my fear a bit. One of my favorite authors/people, Jenny Lawson, has a lot of the same issues mentally and physically as I do, and she once described her depression as “like wearing an old jacket. It’s comfortable but ugly”. I think about it a lot, that quote, because I am SO used to being miserable from things out of my control. Those who abuse me and my mental illnesses and my physical disability. I feel like I’m in prison a lot, and the scary thing is I’m COMFORTABLE with it. In my life, there is no certainty outside of the abuse, the mental and the physical issues. And my thought process is, if I’m miserable, then nothing else will bring me down or nothing else bad will happen. I’m not being physically abused, but I’m emotionally neglected by those who are supposed to love and support me unconditionally. I hear voices in my head saying I’m nothing and I am not special and I will never be loved for who I am. These issues surround me every single day and a lot of the time, my only respite comes from sleeping because there, at least I have IMAGINARY people who act like they should towards someone they supposedly love, and I finally have a supportive, healthy relationship with them.

I recognize that my state of mind and my living situation is far from healthy, but I’m talking about it so I don’t talk myself out of it. It’s like learning to swim, you’re so afraid of drowning that you scurry back into the house and just look at everyone else having fun in the pool. I’m talking so I don’t get back into the house. I’m talking so I keep my swimsuit on. I’m talking so I can jump in. I’m talking so I can splash like a fool. Of course right now, I’m terrified. Every voice in my head is asking me what I’m going to do when things go wrong. I know now that so much of my life has been ruled by fear and I’ve been controlled/abused with it. I don’t know what I’m going to do when that happens again but I do know, I’m sick of all this. It’s just like Elphaba sang in Defying Gravity: “If that’s love, then that’s much too high a cost!” She made the decision to be true to herself and learn to love herself. I’m not there yet. I can’t undo a near-lifetime of damage. The damage where I am continually told that I’m not good enough, that I have to settle, and that I will always live with my parents and be their good little piece of furniture. The damage of having people say that they love me, want the best for me, and care about me, then witnessing them do the opposite of what they said, showing that their love is only skin deep and they ultimately only love what I can do for them. I’m babbling so I don’t go back into that house. All I know is I’m tired of all this, and I feel deep fear, and I’m not going to stop. Right now, I’m happy. I will be happy again. But it does get really tiring when you realize that not many people love you especially the ones who are “supposed” to. And I know that the only person you can expect to act like you want is yourself, but, it does get very tiring and very hurtful when you realize that the ones you give at the very least 100% for won’t do the same for you. They’ll give you, at the VERY best, 50%, and then they’ll tell you off for “making them give so much of themselves”. It hurts a lot when you realize that you aren’t as nearly as important to them are they are to you. I know I deserve better. I know. It’s just one of the hardest things in the world to break free, especially when they’ve ruled through fear, dangerous ‘what-ifs’ and making it seem like you are the only one who can help them. It sucks a lot. but I’m going to keep talking. I’m outside, and my toes are in the pool. The pool is empty because no one wants to share it with me, but for now that’s okay. One day I’ll find people who will. The ones that I love, and simultaneously my abusers are not reliable, and they’re not a reflection of me. They are not me. I have been taken advantage of my whole life, and my disability is their greatest gift, because they can use it to their advantage. A built in doll to bear all your bruises, your infirmities, all your pain. I just know I don’t want to be that for them anymore. I want them to treat me like a person. I want their genuine love and affection. And it is a very unfortunate fact that they don’t love me as much as I love them, and they will not show me the same amount as I show them. Today, I’m going to try and begin showing myself the love, affection and care I show those who abuse and take advantage of me. It’s going to be terrific. Both in the terrifying sense and the awesome sense. I feel like I’m going to cry because deep down I’ve always known this. My sense of self preservation is almost completely shot, and since I’ve been conditioned to always put others’ needs and wants above my own (which, I don’t think is bad at all, but I don’t show it to ME), I have this nasty habit of pushing away MY own feelings, needs and wants so I can focus on others and function so I can get through the day, the week, the month, the year. I’m so fucked up, and today, I realize I want to love myself. I want to live. I’m scared because I’m doing this virtually alone (save for my therapist whom I see for 45-50 minutes a week).

Let’s go.

#reasons to live #love #friendship #music #wrestling #shaggy meme #Jack Perry #fuck the cops #fuck capitalism #musical #singing #human rights #down with the patriarchy #feminism #deathmatches #independent wrestling

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floral-saturn · 3 years

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More modern GOT headcanons

Satin wears crop tops and so does Theon sometimes they go shopping together and sometimes they choose each other’s style.

Robb majors in law, he wants to be a lawyer just like his father was so he’s following in Ned’s footsteps

Satin studies photography and he takes very pretty and gorgeous photos of Jon and his friends

Theon majors in creative writing and sometimes he writes poetry and makes Robb proof read it, sometimes the poems are about him

Gendry would probably work in wood shop or something that has to deal with automobiles or something weird.

Arya is probably working in vet school so like something that has to deal with animals like cats, dogs.

Sansa works with fashion, and so does Margaery that’s how the two meet together

Yara is definitely like an artist, she paints stuff like nude bodies or like female figures and she hangs it up in her dorm room, it makes Theon uncomfortable for like....a tiny bit but he gets used to it.

Daenerys is a little complicated, but maybe she would be interested in studying history?, like think war of the roses, OH! And she listens to crime podcasts on Spotify

Pod takes soccer, Bran is a big techy who’s really smart so bran probably majors in something like computer science and probably looks up to Elon Musk to only be heavily disappointed when he figures out that Elon Musk is actually not that good—

Speaking of Lawyers!, Oberyn teaches law at Westeros university and his wife Ellaria works as an English teacher

DOMERIC IS INTO CRIMEOLOGY WE’VE DISCUSSED THIS ALREADY HE REALLY LIKES MURDER FOR SOME REASON

Ramsay is a college drop out but he works for his dad who makes guns

Roose literally tried asmr at one point in life

ROBB MAKES PLAYLISTS FOR EVERY SITUATION he also daydreams and just chills with music on while Greywind sleeps on the couch with him

Theon makes the most bomb ass pancakes in the morning, he took home-ec in middle school and cooking in high school so he would consider himself an excellent baker, in reality he just sends Robb recipes on Pinterest and Robb’s a little skeptical about the ingredients he’s always all like “are you sure you have enough ingredients to make this? And this looks like too much sugar for me” and Theon’s just like “it’s fine!, don’t worry about it!”

Margaery is very popular on TikTok, so is Joffrey think of him as like a straight TikTok creator like little huddy and Sansa has a whole phase where she becomes obsessive about him but it’s not like stalker obsessed she just follows him on all his socials and stuff

Oh yeah and speaking of the Baratheon Family Myrcella is also a TikTok creator think of her as like the Charlie D’amelio of Westeros in a sense, she also took dancing lessons from kindergarten and everyone’s just like: “How the fuck is she even famous like all she does is just flailing her fucking arms around and moving her body that shits not dancing it looks like a demon possession!”

Trystane Martell is a YouTube creator, think like David Dobrik or Jake Paul he’s really annoying and controversial like he gets in trouble every two to three weeks and he has to post an apology video of him fake crying for whatever weird shit he’s done

Samwell Tarly is a folk artist, think Angus and Julia stone or something that’s soft like Hozier

All the parents hate eachother because they tend to really like comparing their parenting skills so every time one has a fucking cook out or something it always ends up being a big fight over who has better parenting skills.

Oberyn: so how was your guy’s kids doing?

Roose: Well...you see, mine managed to take my credit card and buy a hello kitty switchblade knife on the dark web not really sure why, he just impulsively bought it

Oberyn: oh...uh, well, my son went to jail this weak for staying in a Walmart for 24 hours.

Ned and Catelyn always look at each other in these situations and they always make shit up like:

Ned: well, Arya brought home a fat raccoon that she allegedly stole from the Lannister’s garbage can.

Robert: well you know what Ned, my daughter makes weird videos of her dancing, don’t really know why, she just does

Balon: sometimes Yara draws boobs on the walls, I don’t know why she does it, and Theon wears skirts my children are two different breeds.

Jamie: hey, brienne remind me to not have a single kid with you

Brienne: Jamie, don’t have a single kid with me, even though you always have the same talk about kids as soon as we get home.

#game of thrones #modern au #idk what im doing #prompts #a song of ice and fire #satin flowers #jon snow #samwell tarly #daenarys targaryen #college au #yara greyjoy #theon greyjoy #roose bolton #ramsay bolton #sansaery #sansa stark #margaery tyrell

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faepunkprince · 3 years

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Got tagged by both @ddeadbot and @rindemption lol

Five songs I've been listening to on repeat lately:

1. Everything about You- Ugly Kid Joe

2. Shrike- Hozier

3. Wrecking Ball- Mother Mother

4. Fences- Paramore

5. In a Week- Hozier

Last movie I watched:

Godzilla v Kong

Currently Watching:

My patience wear thin because no one in this Walmart wants to wear their goddamn mask

Currently Reading:

Discord messages as soon as I have a second

Gonna tag: @kurakaji @moonjorasmask @rattled-bones @rozwell @annoyedandlockedout @anaisonfire @the-delicate-disaster if yall wanna 💕

#tagged

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adxmparriish · 3 years

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Thank you @figonas for tagging meeeee <3

Rules: Answer 20 questions and then tag 20 people you want to get to know better.

Nickname: I don't really have one?

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 5'7"

Last movie i saw: Emma, I believe

Last thing i googled: How to remove slashes from a variable in VBA (I'm sorry I'm a NERD but I'm working rn and needed answers LOL)

Favorite musician: It's a 3 way tie between Taylor Swift, One Direction, and Hozier

Song stuck in my head: Don't really have one rn

Other blogs: @godgavemelou (main blog), @wornpagelibrary (book club COME JOIN US), and a NSFW writing inspo blog

Blogs following: Honestly idek around 400 maybe?

Amount of sleep: Last night I miraculously got around 9

What am i wearing: Pajama shorts, a shirt from Walmart lol

Dream job: Writer

Dream trip: GREECEEEEEEEEEEE. Also Italy.

Favorite food: Pasta, probs. Also fajitas hmmmm

Play an instrument: Yes, I play clarinet, saxophone, and a little bit of piano

Languages: English

Favorite song: If I HAVE to freaking pick - it's No Control by One Direction

Random fact: My hair is currently blue

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: old books, dark rooms, colored hair and leather jackets, glasses of wine, scribbled notes in margins, night skies

#this was fun thank you!#tag games

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mothman-stolemyeyebrows · 3 years

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Describing my gender

If girls are cats and boys are dogs, I’m some sort of marsupial

Mousey little fella

That feeling when your ears won’t stop ringing

When kind old men call me “buddy”

The fact that I can sing along comfortably with any of the mechanisms, but I’m told that I sound the best with Ashes

Being sentient but not really

I’m just a little guy

Brackish water

I love the aesthetic of frogs but I’m terrified of real frogs

I’m a girl in the same way you can open your eyes underwater, but it hurts

I’m a boy, but like a sickly Victorian boy

Walmart brand Hozier

#gender

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bardofnyeh · 4 years

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OC PLAYLIST MEME

Finally got around to doing this for fun lol tagging everyone who wants to do this! Art by the amazingly talented @socksual-innuendos

JUDITH ♤ COURIER SIX

♤ Their intro theme: American Girl - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers/A Horse With No Name - America

♤ Their own favorite song: Cow Cow Boogie - Ella Mae Morse

♤ Their boss battle theme: Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

♤ Their love song: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

♤ Their sad times song: They’re Hanging Me Tonight - Marty Robbins

♤ A song that fits their aesthetic: Saddle Tramp - Marty Robbins/Cocaine Blues - Johnny Cash

♤ A song that reminds them of a better time: Tonight You Belong To Me - Patience & Prudence

♤ A song that calms them down: The Curse of The Fold - Shawn James

♤ A song that gets them hyped up: The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

♤ Spring: Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac

♤ Summer: High By The Beach - Lana Del Rey

♤ Autumn: Bad Ritual - Timber Timbre

♤ Winter: Talk - Hoizer

♤ The song that plays while they’re lying on the ground bleeding out in a Walmart: Bank Job - Barenaked Ladies

♤ The song that would play each morning if they’re stuck in a time loop: Jockey Full of Bourbon - Tom Waits

♤ The song they’d listen to while robbing a Wendy’s: Wanted Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi

♤ The song they’d accidentally introduce to people in medieval times if they were a time traveller: Sympathy For The Devil - The Rolling Stones

♤ The song they’d play in the middle of the night when their neighbors are being too loud: Despacito - Luis Fonsi

♤ The song that plays at their funeral: My Way - Frank Sinatra

♤ The song that plays when it’s revealed that they faked their death: Let's Not Pretend (To Be New Men) - Crooked Fingers

#this is a huge genre fuck im sorry #its partially your dad's classic rock playlist and partially edgy tumblr girl from 2014 #i will not forgive #oc: judith #judith #SO ORIGINAL with the funeral song

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mercurypilgrim · 4 years

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OC Playlist Meme - Kal

I can never remember how to spell his full name... Kalja’viranuo’ardieri.

I was tagged by @chaoticspacelesbians, thank you!

I am the worst at tags so uh * scrolls through dash* @outcastcommander, @randomlytypingmonkey, @darkshadeless and uh... @nhylluan !

♦️ Their intro theme: Twisted - MISSIO

“Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted.”

♦️ Their own favorite song: You Don’t Own Me - Lesley Gore

“You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys.”

♦️ Their boss battle theme: Vicious - Halestorm

“What doesn't kill me Makes me vicious.”

♦️ Their love song: Horns - Bryce Fox

“She got blood cold as ice And a heart made of stone But she keeps me alive She's the beast down in my bones

She gets everything she wants When she gets me alone Like it's nothing She got two little horns And they're getting me a little bit.”

♦️ Their sad times song: Consequences - Camilla Cabello

“Loving you was young, and wild, and free Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound A steady place to let down my defenses But loving you had consequences.”

♦️ A song that fits their aesthetic: Middle Finger - Bohnes

“You couldn't even look me in the eye When you let me go and then left me to die But there was no question that I would survive.”

♦️ A song that reminds them of a better time: Raise Hell - Dorothy

“Young blood, run like a river Young blood, never get chained.”

♦️ A song that calms them down: From Eden - Hozier

“Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits prison, chivalry fell on it's sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.”

♦️ A song that gets them hyped up: Get Paid - Emphatic

“I like the feel of gettin' dirty I like the feel of high octane I like to feel the way you scratch me Lick the wound I love your pain

I wanna get paid, I wanna get paid Take the money, take the money and run.”

(I skipped the seasons because I couldn’t think of any that fit!)

♦️ The song that plays while they’re lying on the ground bleeding out in a Walmart: Something’s Got To Give - Camilla Cabello

“But we could only burn so long Counterfeit emotions only run skin deep.”

♦️ The song that would play each morning if they’re stuck in a time loop: Hot Damn - Ivy Levan

“Who turned the temperature up? It's hot enough to cook an egg in a frying pan Don't you turn that temperature up Oh it's hot enough to make me crazy like the son of Sam.”

♦️ The song they’d listen to while robbing a Wendy’s: Notorious - Adelitas Way

“I'm too fast, too furious You're pushin' your luck and that's dangerous I told you once so you better believe You never met a motherfucker quite like me.”

♦️ The song they’d accidentally introduce to people in medieval times if they were a time traveller: A Little Wicked - Valerie Broussard

“A little wicked That's what he calls me 'Cause that's what I am That's what I am No one calls you honey, when you're sitting on a throne.”

♦️ The song they’d play in the middle of the night when their neighbors are being too loud: Kill Everyone - Hollywood Undead

“I've come undone I think I'll kill everyone My, what have I done? Fuck it let's kill everyone.”

♦️ The song that plays at their funeral: Home - Passenger

“Oh they say love is for the loving Without love maybe nothing is real So am I loveless or do I just love less? So many winding roads So many miles to go.”

♦️ The song that plays when it’s revealed that they faked their death: Wicked Ones - Dorothy

“This night ain't for the holy man with the holy plan For the promise land This night we got the evil hand And the evil hand gonn' raise the dead.”

Some honourable mentions: No Time to Die - Billie Eilish, It Will Come Back - Hozier, ‘Cuz I Can - P!nk, Everything I Wanted - Billie Eilish, You Haven't Seen the Last of Me - Cher, I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

#holy crap this took me a long time #but it was fun #and I finally went through my music library!#Kal is so weird #XD #asks #music meme

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