#my ships are almost always gay or nonexistent

[saaraofthesand]

Reading FMA and Demon Slayer is just like *slaps roof of manga* this bad boy can fit so many good heterosexual ships in it.

#it’s just ??? #so rare in a shounen?? #my ships are almost always gay or nonexistent #fma #fullmetal alchemist #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #royai #edwin #almei #tankana #obamitsu #inoaoi #zennezu

[laylawatermelon]

70.6 - 7.07 Speculation/ Buddie Meta

I am a writer y'know hehe

So, Buddie is happening.

Now let me explain.

Bi buck always existed, but the problem is that most of his consistent emotional relationship one could argue realistically romantically has been with a man he's known for years.

But has always been bi yes, but he's also been in love with his best friend for a really long time.

Friends to lovers where Y'all at? I see y'all madney truthers

Anyways I understand but what has kind of been bothering me is the fact that Buddie the ship has been abandoned/negated as not an important past of the puzzle for bi buck realization despite the fact that Eddie is physically present throughout his entire relationship/storyline.

I could argue that because they're mirrors to each other (corny soulmate type shit is perfect for network tv) this is the best way to ease people into it.

Buck and Eddie are the two beloved firefighters (and respective sex symbols). They have an appeal for the straight audience for that reason.

Lou already spoiled it but he's only here for a while.

There's been almost blatant explanations and dialogue that leads to the fact that this relationship is going to directly lead into buddie one way or another.

Tommy has from the beginning suspected that Buck (I'm calling him Evan in my head in regards to him and it's so weird 😖) and Eddie have an unusual relationship or that Buck is in love with Eddie at least.

(MY attention? is the biggest example.)

My prediction is that their mirrors of each other, the parallels, and red flags pop up too often now.

I know they're still writing the show and are likely watching audience engagement and ao3 (I'm watching you Tim ik you're here I'm new but ik you got shooters out here) for where to go with the story.

In Eddie's (frankly oddly portrayed) plotline is related to his Catholic guilt and his nonexistent relationship with Marisol (no last name?). As the episode maybe suggests they don't know their partners well enough.

Shame to Eddie because it's been months in universe like come on man. In Buck's it's literally been a few weeks, and most of the time Tommy spent with Eddie and not with him.

I like them as a couple and find them affordable. I can't quite bring myself to ship them or be as enthusiastic as others and that's okay.

I still admire the relationship they have and won't bash others for enjoying it.

Hell they still have Taylor and Buck enjoyers and maybe even Abby (i assume I haven't met any honestly).

The reason why I'm a bit confused on why Buddie isn't being all that embraced as a vital part of the storyline is because in a way it is.

I think it spurred the writers on to lean into it heavily due to the actors chemistry and portrayal of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying he wouldn't be bi regardless, because he's always been written that way.

His interactions with worm guy, a gay married couple, Carlos (who I've been waiting to say this but I can't hold myself any longer is Latino, shorter than him, brown eyes, dark hair - Eddie lite/he had a bit of a type aka cute guys.)

I clocked him flirting with him with his cute fact spilling as a way of affection because I do it to to people I love. (🤗i love my ADHD rep!) When he saw him look at the girl he became more platonic in his interactions. Then there was Eddie.

And Eddie honestly is the biggest part of the puzzle.

Yes he likes Tommy, and I don't deny he likes strong confident (suspiciously Eddie shaped 😂) guys.

He has always been attracted to strong personalities regardless of gender.

I do think he did pursue him and I think because Tommy is gay he recognized the flirting Buck does with both men and women as that, flirting.

Eddie doesn't count cause he has a whole can of worms he gotta figure out himself.

If Buck had consistent scenes with an out queer man on the show he'd have been at least clocked. (Eddie was kind of in the way with Josh and the Dispatch crew/his gaydar pinged a lil around him)

I've been saying that now that he's canonically bisexual and it's a known fact, you can't deny he's quite literally been flirting with his best friend the entire show (as a coparent??? Idk man they both said they skip steps/impatient 🤷🏾‍♀️).

When new fans watch it it's obvious, when older fans recall it it's either enlightening or redefining that relationship regardless.

The red flags that are coming up is Eddie's statement of moving too fast and Buck literally moving to fast with his second date (i assume idk how in world time works it's a tv show 🤷🏾‍♀️) being his sister's wedding.

Realistically I know you only invite people to events like that if you're fully committed to each other for a long term thing.

I'm not saying that he's on his wheel but in a way I'm tilting my head at some similarities of Tommy and his past relationships and Buck's tendencies.

Buck will be Buck.

Tommy knows him as Evan, and calls him such.

Which didn't get me wrong cute or whatever but rubs me there wrong away, because we know he prefers Buck as it's his chosen name for a reason. It's defined him and been contextualized and even accepted by his parents.

I believe in calling people the name they choose to be called and I just don't like when that's ignored.

It also doesn't help that he continues to call him that in an episode called You don't know me (you can Even tie it in to Marisol No last name) that deals with identities and lack of knowledge.

Buck has spent most of his remaining twenties with that identity and has defended it so the casualness of him calling him that unnerves me.

It's meant to close the distance and be portrayed as romantic but it can also be interpreted as him seeing Evan, not Buck when with him.

But I did see a post that changed my perspective on calling a name with love instead can recontextualize the meaning of it and I found that sweet and fitting. In that case I can swing either way about it.

If it does make him more accepting of that side of his identity that's great that he's beginning to heal from a path when his name/personhood was used as a weapon or item.

But, I also still feel a bit iffy that it's not interchangeably used with Buck because his family and everyone he knows calls him that. Even his previous romantic partners did and I didn't mind him being called it but I would like it if both names would be used as that is the new part of him where Evan exists as well.

Also narratively they spent too much time on defining his name and what it means to him and everyone around him to not show the importance of his identity being acknowledged in a new unfamiliar relationship.

(whew i think I'm just mad at the writers or this may just be on purpose who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

I'm getting to the meta I promise I'm just finally processing what's been plaguing me about this relationship and i gotta let the monster out

That would also explain why he doesn't know the ADHD rants that Buck blabs on about.

But then again the episode is called you don't know me and they weren't even friends he just jumped into a relationship.

(ps you can just start dating someone and learn as you go I'm just saying 🤷🏾‍♀️)

The biggest problem with their relationship is that he's in love with his best friend.

He literally only began to open up and flirt when he realized that he wasn't a romantic threat to his family.

(Which trifling Buck! Your man can't get wined and dined?? He deserves love too!/j)

He literally relaxed/his shoulders open up when Tommy assures him that his son still loves and idolizes him and that Eddie still likes him and he's irreplaceable in his life.

After that's secured he begins to make his move and become more flirtatious (cough sexually open cough) to this confident man in his kitchen in the dim lights and glowy atmosphere.

Damn I'd kiss him too 🤷🏾‍♀️ (if I was a guy ofc)

I also didn't like the parallels of Buck being left (which has happened with his female love interests) and then Buck still having to reach out.

I don't think Tommy is bad for Buck, but I'm still not convinced that he's 100% good. But then again he's been here literally a two episodes and barely any screentime.

And the one he does makes it seem like he's interested but not too invested.

(which makes sense and I will elaborate a bit later in the meta speculation)

The Tommy that everyone is talking about exists solely in fan spaces and head canon and that's why I think I can't get into it. The facts of him are plain in the show but in the fan spaces he has a different image.

Which valid, once again he's almost a blank sheet of what we wish a Buck gets and deserves in a love interest but that's what he is as of now. A blank-ish sheet. Kind of like a projection sheet for movies.

Tommy seems like a caring partner and sure of himself. He's shown himself to be funny, considerate, and as unhinged as the rest of the 118 (ah the fruity fire badasses).

Also i wanna point your Buck likes em a lil older sometimes haha

But back on topic, I can see Tommy being like Natalia (which makes sense as that storyline could've been used) In the fact that he sees that the space in his life is occupied and respectfully backs out.

My meta for 7.06 is this.

Tommy helps out somehow. Buck is ecstatic rightfully so.

They kiss dance and are cute.

The family is very welcoming, the 118 is still loving, but then he sees something that affirms his suspicions.

It's a normal scene for us.

Either Buck is taking care of Chris and then talks to Eddie.

He sees the look in Buck's eyes and the fondness there. He looks at Eddie and sees the same on his face.

He notices how they work together and laugh, them at the family and life he's built all around him, and decides he can't be apart of this. There's no space for him.

It feels too real too fast and he'll only end to heartbroken because he's just interested, not invested yet.

So he gracefully bows out and let's him know that he has enough love in his life if he'd just look for it.

(i also found out he used the word interested in the cafe scene where i recognized it as the ana date. Also Buck was wearing a white patterned shirt and i had a heart attack because it wasn't great the last time he wore it 😬)

Then it leads into ghost of a second chance.

(now imma say this i will be posting more specs about the these episodes I'm just on my buddie storyline juice rn)

This is now Buck trying to salvage/figure out what went wrong and maybe try to contact him again.

In the case of Marisol it's safe to assume they break up, the reason why isn't clear.

It could be related to his sisters disapproval of their relationship (as they're supposed to be coming out did the show forget??) or apprehension towards her as they've been raised/watched him grow up.

They know what makes him happy.

For ghost a second chance I didn't have much buddie assumptions but I'm pretty sure that one is more in relation to other members of the cast most likely and maybe Buck trying to salvage his relationship.

7.08-10 isn't complete so who knows🤷🏾‍♀️ how they must switch it up for more drama?

But I will say, we gotta dive into the Eddie of it all.

Y'all thought I forgot about him?

The bi Buck storyline isn't complete without Eddie either romantically or platonically.

In real life their queer storylines were always interchangeable and they're both feeling out the GA and fans reaction.

Buddie not going canon doesn't make sense because realistically it's one of the biggest ships and the most talked about things for the online fans.

It's a good reason many fans started (me included🙋🏾‍♀️) and stay (if the beautiful found family didn't hit it for them).

The way that they were both discussed and Ryan is fine with Buddie still kind of matches his character honestly. Demi Eddie is a head canon and honestly Eddie would only be comfortable with dating a man at this stage of his life if it's someone he loves already aka Buck.

There could be other reasons but as a Buddie warrior truther (as they named it which is still so insane) as his old interviews alluded to the fact that he loves Buck so much he can't really see himself with another guy he just met like that.

He also maybe wanted a easier storyline as he had always been a bit of a heavy character.

For women it's easier as he's raised to do it and it's "natural" or right for him to do so.

His parents said it, the church says it, God says it so it must be right.

He loves commitment, has said he's a nester and constantly yearns for a family unit.

The only family unit he knows of it feels is acceptable due to his upbringing is man, woman, child.

Not that he's homophobic cause duh, HenRen is literally there, but his standards and pressure doesn't even let him fathom it for himself.

It's also likely if the demi part is true, he's highly unlikely to be like Buck and view others sexually and even realize he's able to have a family/relationship with a man.

I suspect no Buddie this season. I actually hope and pray for it.

Because from both a business and story point it's best to keep the will-they won't-they into season 8 to keep viewers engaged/tuning in and not to rush the story and get some really good emotional moments.

I won't lie I miss the angst we got in the other seasons and as a result the show's identity with Eddie has faltered a bit.

I didn't love episode 5 but I didn't hate it. I still enjoy the show and if they feel a bit unusual it's okay.

There were still some great moments in it.

Eddie's character is now happy but as a result he's also somewhat unfamiliar (that speaks to the whump heavy storylines he has) as he seems less mature. You can argue now that he has a stable support system he's able to let loose because he knows his needs will be covered.

That's also a great point and easy way of showing his development.

His Catholic guilt now that it's been introduced will have to be deconstructed as he will have to redefine his life, what he's looking for/allow himself to be and dare to dream of a life not given to him by someone else or pressure.

This season he's only just started to accept things that make him feel good (which for now is Marisol) and be open and honest about it.

I can argue it is a great sign of improvement of his character.

A bit ooc portrayal yes, but the message of looking deeper still applies.

This can apply to Buddie probably leading through the next half of season 7 by being ramped up and then going full speed ahead season 8.

At the time though since they're still writing they may take a hard right turn and keep it platonic (😭).

But what would be inevitable is Eddie's coming out/self discovery arc that isn't tied to the church or sense of duty.

Which yay! More self discovery I love the message of finding yourself lasts throughout your life and due to life's unexpected events you can change to be a better version of yourself all the time.

We got bi buck (which evidently was influenced by Eddie in some way) now let's free Eddie to even if they didn't do it for Buddie (once again😭😭😭).

Now that I've got it mostly off my chest I'm definitely gonna do an analysis of the parallels and the way it's played pt.2 (and more as seasons passed cause Ryan and Oliver 😘 muah 10/10 no notes).

Okay bye.

#911 abc #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #tv shows #911 spoilers #oliver stark #bi disaster buck #madney wedding #911 meta #911 season 7 #911 speculation #911 fic #lgbtqia #tommy kinard #911ThursdayTakeover #it is Saturday but my offering still stands #i will elaborate later #long post #the parallels #they haunt me #character analysis #bi buck

[aetheternity]

I can’t stand xingyun either. I really like Xingqiu and Chongyun as individual characters, and when I heard about the ship I was like “eh at least the fandom doesn’t ignore them” but I quickly found out that the fandom has stripped them of all personality except for the single trait “they like each other” which pisses me off, they’re great characters on their own. But every time someone draws or even talks about one of them they always include the other, even when they’re not doing it for shipping intentions. And the shippers are always yelling about how “it’s canon!” Kinda like eimiko shippers- I’ve noticed this behavior anytime a character has a best friend.

Anon you said everything and I love you for this.

When I first joined this fandom my favorite character was Chongyun because one of my favorite colors is blue and I enjoy aesthetically pleasing colors put together. (That's why my second favorite character was Venti). At the time I had just come from the Attack on Titan fandom and the random burst of Eruri shippers after that ship had been announced as canon had put a very sour taste in my mouth. Because I was a huge Levi simp and because of that ships random burst in popularity I would randomly stumble upon nsfw ship art between the two characters because that fandom hated tagging correctly / putting warnings so I left.

Anyway I adopted to Chongyun quickly but the sour taste had returned because the only content 99.9% of the time I could find of him had something to do with Xingqiu as well and every time someone talked about Chongyun the conversation quickly opened to be about Xingqiu as well.

Like ok I'll be honest the original reason I couldn't stand that ship was just because I loved Chongyun and I liked Xingqiu's character and wanted to see more of the two separately but now the ship has actually kind of grown on me. And by grown on me I mean I think the two of them would be cute together. Don't get me wrong I don't want them together at all because Xingyun shippers are really fucking annoying. But the whole childhood best friends to lovers pining for each other is actually really cute.

Too bad Xingyun shippers neglect to realize that if any pining is going on it's ONLY on Xingqiu's side. I haven't had one nice interaction with a xingyun shipper since I entered this fandom. Almost all of them only like to think of them as two little gay twinks. It's so uncomfortable and gross. These are the same guys who would set you on fire for sexualizing Venti or Traveler but get so quiet when someone draws fanart of Chongyun and Xingqiu making out half naked. They're right up there with Eimiko, Rasnett, Cynonari shippers on the ship is cute but the fanbase for it ruins it completely.

Like yeah ofc I don't care what people ship but the gay ship fanatics for the biggest most popular ships are so atrocious and unhinged it's pathetic. These are still nonexistent characters after all and nothing is canon.

Sorry to vent but I've been carrying these feelings for a year and some change.

#I'm so mad rn tho #some new developments occured #I gotta make a new post

[blurrymango]

Consumed by thoughts of Evil Morty and Rick Prime in love.

Which is. Well that is literally the most delusional pairing I have.

I mean like.

Well uh. Let's see how about Outlast and what I ship in that. Weddie. At least one half of that ship has an obsessive violent "love" for the other. It's one-sided yeah. But it's full of potential for "what if's" and GUILT. Waylon, the idea of not being able to save Eddie from the insanity that was inflicted haunting him every night. Eddie, the idea of him surviving and all the shit that comes from the guilt of knowing what he did to so many people that night and constantly wondering about the one that got away. A groom who's mind is muddled and twisted and a reluctant bride who sealed his fate. They could have been beautiful together, you know.

And my most recent of 2doc. Stockholm syndrome in a nutshell, basically just an idiot who keeps getting back together with a terrible abusive ex. Murdoc put 2D into that damn coma, but also got him out of it. Damn satanist putting his "blue haired black eyed god" through constant physical and mental agony and yet. 2D still loves him. Even after the events of Plastic Beach and Murdoc being locked up for long enough for 2D to taste freedom from that agony. They still save eachother. They still love eachother. Murdoc has said his favorite colors are blue and green. Blue and goddamn green.

And 15 seasons of Supernatural for- Wincest. Well c'mon man. Literal canonical soulmates who died for eachother countless times. That damn quote about them being irrationally emotionally erotically co-dependent on each other or what the ffuck ever. The vessels of good and evil who go against fate time and time again because they choose each other. Even when they'd be objectively living better lives apart, they wouldn't be happy like that. Because ever since John put baby Sammy in Dean's arms that fateful night and told him to protect him or whatever it has always been the two of them. Sam and Dean. Even in the face of certain doom, it's the two of them. Heaven is an open road for them to drive down.

Homestuck is gay and cringe but y'know what isn't. GamKar. Knight of Blood and Bard of Rage. Tropic of Cancer and Tropic of Capricorn. Moirails made in shite circumstances. Fear and uncertainty and anger and longing. Miraculous blood and insanity. Sopor pies the color of lime the color of what Karkat was mutated from. Tragedy and comedy and red and green swirling together into madness. Mirthful Messiahs and Signless Sufferers and clowns and crabs. Royalty of Prospit. Doomed and retconned timelines leaving us with only crumbs of what could have been. Karkat's purple recuperacoon to go Gamzee's red.

And well. Of course. Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty, forever and forever, a hundred years Rick and Morty! It's Rick and Morty against the everything. Complementary brainwaves be damned y'know, cosmic destiny be damned. That's not even his "real" Rick. But it is. Dimensions left behind and lies upon lies because admitting the truth is emotionally vulnerable but love is shown through actions and they have proven to each other that the love they have is legit. Yes, it's far from perfect, downright toxic at times. But it's strong. It's persistent and true and unbreakable despite their doubts.

But for. *checks nonexistent notes* The ffuck do you mean it's almost 5 AM that's not real. Anyway. Evil Morty wants nothing to do with Ricks of any kind. His main goal has always been escaping that bullshit. And Rick Prime well. He's a ffucking careless psycho. Why does he do the shit he does? Ffuck if I remember. He doesn't give a shit about a Morty and that's obvious. Plus with the events of season 7 y'know. It does not make sense at all. That pairing.

But you know how it is with spaghetti.

#mango man speaks #i think this post is a bit cringe #guys imma be honest. i think i posted cringe with this one. #and on the off chance someone thinks about reblogging this. #why? lol. #i have other ships but the ones listed here were the first ones to come to mind. #im blaming the cringe of this post on the late hour. #i almost dont even want to post this. #ok well here goes nothing.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

*slaps roof of fanfiction* this baby can fit so much self-projection in there ~ @rauko-is-a-free-elf s wise words. enjoy <3

Dean's the one who can't get out of bed without coffee. The one who thinks sunday brunches are a thing just because real people aren't supposed to be up by breakfast time on the weekend. The one who'll crash face first into the couch, first thing he's back from college, because screw consciousness, that's why.

And yet, it's Cas who stumbles out of the shower on seven-am-biochem-Thursday, and proceeds to trip over the carpet and land in Dean's arms.

"I'm so fucking tired."

"Of the — carpet?" Dean frowns, looking over Cas's bedhead to examine the Queen lyrics-filled specimen. He's rather fond of it.

"Of being," Cas mutters, heaving himself upright and swatting at Dean's hand when he reaches to smooth his tie. "Whoever the fuck I'm supposed to be."

Dean tries to get to his tie again, and receives a particularly pissed-off glare for his efforts.

"And who is that?" Dean throws back, playful because why not; he's expecting a sarcastic comeback, a suffering eyeroll, or even to be annoyedly swore at — which he definitely wouldn't mind, coming from his best friend slash boyfriend slash dude with the literal sexiest voice Dean's ever heard — but he's definitely not expecting Cas to launch himself at him, purposefully this time, also gentler, and bury his face in Dean's shirt.

Dean waits, worried, but hands coming up involuntarily to hug back.

Cas doesn't budge.

"Babe?"

All the reaction that induces is for Cas to cling harder. And for words to get muttered — and reasonably muffled, into Dean's shirt.

"I hate that guy."

Dean raises his eyebrows, belatedly realizing Cas can't see them. "Huh?"

"The guy I'm supposed to be." Cas goes on, gritting his teeth. "Dean, I hate him. He makes my life miserable. And I — I'm just so tired."

And at that, Cas decides the point's been made, and stops talking entirely, leaving Dean with little more to do than hold on.

And think.

He knows Cas never got a chance to make the choices most people take for granted. The guy never got to choose his major, choose his hobbies. Hell, hardly even his friends. Private schooled and isolated until his parents up and shipped him off to Princeton pre-med, Dean's always believed Cas had the right to be mad.

Even though he's now in actual med-school, a year from becoming Doctor Novak — Dean gets a secret thrill every time he imagines that, and Cas knows, so it's not a very well-kept secret — and no longer in touch with his parents (who turned out, unsurprisingly, to be assholes who cut him off when they found out Cas is gay. Well, pansexual, but they didn't really care about labels once they'd met Cas's boyfriend. Dean. Who likes to take some of the credit for his boyfriend's relatively new disowned status, even though it had mostly been Cas being a badass, and finally, finally standing up for himself.)

So one might say things turned out fine, and there's no reason to hold grudges, but if Cas wanted to, Dean would have a hundred percent declared it valid.

But that's where Cas came in. That's where who he was, came in. A thinker, a dreamer, but grounded enough to not hold onto the anger. Independent, but rarely reckless. Plus, aware enough to work hard and reap well, while at the same time, searching for reasons to find the good in things.

Dean loves him, and admires him. Admires his intelligence, and tenacity, and courage. But this had never happened before.

Dean may have been the initiator of most hugs, but that could usually be traced down to Cas's nonexistent social skills, and Dean's embarrassing dependency on touch, in lieu of words. This, was one of the most passionately Dean had seen Cas feel something, outside of love.

And it was rattling.

If being this way — this ideal everything; top of his class, tireless, always in control — was burning Cas out, it couldn't go on. Dean would take a less 'functional' Cas over the wrecked-sounding prodigy in his arms anyday.

And god knew Dean Winchester was far from perfect himself.

There was only one way ahead.

Dean holds on quietly, and a couple minutes pass. Clearly Cas needs it, seeing as how he dissolves more into Dean as the seconds pass, the frustration leaving him vacant and devoid of energy.

"Cas?"

Cas shifts in his arm, tenses a bit. "I'm sorry, I —" He starts, sounding too obviously disappointed for some reason, and Dean hates it.

"Dude." Dean cuts him off, somehow not cheerful, but still bright. It's always easier talking someone down like this, and Cas has always, strangely, drawn from Dean's moods. "You're going to apologize for needing a hug?"

Cas remains quiet.

They both know it was more than that. Cas has calmed considerably, but he wasn't himself before. Or he was. Now, he's almost normal — but it feels like he's being who he's normally supposed to be again, and that's not good.

"Also," Dean continues, undeterred by the lack of response. "That guy? Sounds like a real piece of work. Ever thought of cutting him off?"

"It doesn't work that way."

"Don't see why not."

"Dean —"

"So it won't happen in a day." Dean realizes Cas is shifting again, and a little uncertainly, lets him pull away. Thankfully, he stays in Dean's space, albeit carrying his weight on his own two feet. Dean doesn't know what to do with his hands anymore, so he takes Cas's in them. Cas lets him. "It'll take time, be a process and whatnot, and you'll have me with you, you'll have all our friends really. Plus, isn't college about experimenting?"

Cas makes a sound which sounds like a chuckle he couldn't exactly help, and Dean preens, encouraged by it.

"And it's not like I'm about to let you go try and play for the other side," He adds, lightly. "You're stuck with me. But this could be your adventure."

There's a more comfortable silence.

Cas breaks it this time, clearing his throat. "You don't think I'm too young for a midlife crisis?"

"Take it from someone who raised Sam fucking Winchester, babe. This is way more of a teenage crisis." Cas cringes visibly at that, but that just means it's working. "Breaking out of your barriers, discovering who you really are? Netflix's coming-of-age producers are coming for your twenty seven year old ass."

Cas shakes his head, grumbling at him, but he's already sounding more like himself, and Dean can work with this. "You're mean to me sometimes."

"You tackle me like a mascot scoring a touchdown-hug sometimes."

Cas snorts. "That hardly makes sense."

"Your face hardly makes sense." Dean wastes no time in hurtling the first response in his head, and it earns him a less reluctant laugh. The weariness in Cas's voice remains, but the upset is wearing off.

"Great comeback, wasn't that?"

"Your face is a great comeback." Dean informs him with a huff, as he leans in to kiss the smug look off his boyfriend's face. Cas meets him halfways, tilting his head, and sliding a hand up Dean's arm and shoulder until it's around his neck. His fingers stroke the short hairs at the back of Dean's head, and he tugs just the way Dean likes it, earning a full shudder from the latter as he pulls back breathlessly.

"Are you trying to distract me?" Dean accuses dramatically, hand on his heart.

Cas shrugs, pulling on a nonchalant look, and almost succeeding. "You were making my dilemma sound too solvable. A man is excused some defense mechanisms, isn't he?"

"Not when I'm making progress, sunshine." Dean throws back. "Just, hear me out, okay? You want to do this, you're going to be making changes. Doing things, and more importantly, giving up things that don't feel like you. It doesn't even have to be a big deal. Unless you want it to be. I mean, you're a sucker for planning, making lists, that sorta thing, right?"

The easy smile has started returning to Cas's features again, and he nods. A little. (As if he appreciates Dean's rambling, and because he's Cas, he probably does.)

"So that's where we start. Hell, I could buy you a binder. There's this stationary place Charlie does not shut up about, and they might have those huge, black, spiralbound binders. Which I figure you're secretly obsessed with, you know, since you're secretly a nerd." Dean reasons, satisfiedly.

"It's hardly a secret."

"Oh, it is." He beams. "And I, your awesome, hot boyfriend, am your cover."

Cas rolls his eyes with feeling, leaving Dean basking in a momentary sense of accomplishment. But it's not the time. And it may have been him rambling, but it's not about him.

"So," He raises his eyebrows. "What do you say?"

Cas draws in a breath. "I say," he swallows. "Yes. Okay, I mean. Yeah. You — you make it sound doable. Plausible, somehow." Cas bites his lip. "Come to think of it, I haven't thought of a particular something I want to change, and I know I'll probably rethink everything six more times, and I know you'll still be patient with me, even when I don't change what doesn't feel right, just because I'm too used to it, and truthfully, maybe it's too soon to be thinking of changes, and we should slow down, especially you, because you're wonderful, but I don't think I can change myself as efficiently — and I don't think we can, either. But I'm grateful, and I agree, and I want to change things as well, and I'd like a binder, really, and you —" Cas scrubs his face with a hand. "I just know, that I - I feel different."

Dean grins. "Yeah?"

Cas breathes in again, slower. On the exhale, he sighs. "I love you."

"That ain't exactly a 'different' anymore, babe." Dean reminds, and it's all the motivation Cas needed to wrap his arms around Dean again, and plant a firm, telling kiss on his lips.

"I know. But it's easier to say, and I know you understand."

"Yeah, I do."

Dean smiles, and Cas mirrors it, crinkled eyes and showing gums, and an uncharacteristic dampness in his eyes in spite of the breathtaking smile, and it's too damn beautiful a sight to not kiss again.

So Dean does, and Cas only smiles wider, more beautiful.

*

In around twelve minutes, Cas's alarm for six forty-five goes off, and he pulls back in a frenzy — as dazed as Dean from the makeout, but senses just enough present to realize he's going to be late for his lecture.

They figure it out though, like they figure out most things — Dean puts together a sandwich while Cas gets dressed, and later drives him to class in his Baby, since he's obviously missed the bus. Cas ends up only three minutes late, and it's a good thing Dr. Harvelle is in a good mood, because she at least pretends to believe their unbelievably trite excuse, delivered in Dean's most earnest voice. ("Traffic.")

Later that evening, when Dean's back from his shift at the autoshop — it helps pay bills, and he gets to add 'experience' under engineering on his resume — and Cas is back from the hospital, and they're piled on the couch in front of the TV watching reruns of Doctor Sexy, tangled in each other, Dean remembers something he's been meaning to ask since the moment he gave what happened that morning, some thought.

"Hey, babe." he begins, as a by-the-way. "What exactly happened this morning?"

"I believe I tackled you like a mascot scoring a touchdown-hug." Cas answers, in the straightest of voices because he's hilarious like that.

"Yeah, I mean — you did." Dean snorts at the callback. "But like, what triggered it?"

"Oh." Cas pauses. "I believe we ran out of shaving foam."

"Shaving foam." Dean repeats, incredulously.

"Yes." Cas doesn't even have the courtesy to grin, when Dean snickers. "And usually, we have a spare bottle. I — I tend to make sure of it. But I checked, and we didn't, and I was supposed to make sure we don't completely run out of these things, and I didn't, and I —" He shrugs. "I just hated that I forgot, so much, in that one minute of staring at the mirror, and I was agitated, until —" Dean blinks, and Cas affords a tiny smile. "I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I had a revelation, it would seem, at how pointless all of that self-loathing was, and how I've tired entirely of being that person."

"So you got mad that you got mad?"

"I — kind of. But it was mostly the shaving foam." Cas points out, now deadpanning on purpose because Dean can't hold back the laugh. Nobody in the universe could have an identity crisis over shaving foam except for Castiel fucking Novak, and Dean gets to live with this ridiculous sonuvabitch, the adorable fucker, and watch him get more unbelievably perfect by the day.

"Cas?" He lets out, still laughing. "Proud as I am of your moment of truth, and you deciding to go easy on your expectations of you and all that, can I just say something?"

"Of course." Cas responds, immediately.

"I think I like you better with the peach fuzz."

And so it's Cas's turn to burst into a laugh, and it's not like Dean's stopped anyways, so eventually it's just the both of them laughing through the evening, and laughing through dinner, still tangled in each other, still piled on the couch, and Doctor Sexy still playing in the background, because some things change, and other things don't, and some things won't, and that's that.

#just so you know #deancas won't change :) #destiel #destiel college au #destiel fic #destiel common tropes #oh my god they were roommates #spn college au #dean winchester #castiel #established destiel #destiel kisses #living together #destiel fluff #identity angst #shitty parents #chuck novak #deancas fluff #deancas fic #casdean #spncreatorsdaily #spnpetra #supernatural #i need to start tagging more tracking blogs :))) #not spoilers

[filthyjanuary]

Hi! Just saw ur dbh post and it was super eye-opening as a white fan, and def compounds things I’ve noticed myself.

I will say as a longtime dbh (sort of) fan, I think one of the reasons ur seeing so little content of characters of color is that honestly a lot of fans of Markus and fans of color have moved on. It was def an issue from the get go, but dbh does suck a lot when it comes to writing its nonwhite characters. There used to be a sizeable Simarkus and Markus/Connor fandom. Obviously I can only theorize, but I wouldn’t be surprised if ppl who came to dbh for the revolution type story got more tired of it quickly than the “I like reed900 Bc angry gay men”

Also this isn’t me trying to take away from ur point (like I’m only still in dbh Bc of Gavin/reed900 but I think you are very correct); u just mentioned u were new to the fandom and I do want to assure you that it wasn’t always this bad

hello! thanks for stopping by and i’m glad it got you thinking. like i said in my tags, as personally frustrating as it can be for me, i’m not here to ship shame people and i hope people are having fun shipping whatever they ship, i just want people to be more aware of what they’re doing and also how fandom environments often make fans of colour feel, so it’s very validating to get a message like this that acknowledges the point and isn’t hostile. like i’m a woc and i still often find myself falling into the habit of prioritizing white characters over characters of colour because growing up in a society that prioritizes white people over poc will do that to you! i hold no ill will for reed900 shippers, it’s just a great example of something that i’ve seen in a lot of fandoms.

i definitely can’t comment on like the entire fandom’s history, because i’m so new here, so you’re right it’s possible people just got bored or tired and left, but just speaking as someone who’s left fandoms out of sheer frustration several times before, i think it’s also possible that there was an initial problem that pushed fans of colour and/or fans of characters of colour away and out of the fandom, which only left a certain group which then extrapolated the problem in like a neverending feedback loop, but you’re right. this game is almost three years old, i can’t truly comment on what the fandom atmosphere has been like for all that time. and i don’t think it’s fair to blame the writing. a lot of the writing is bad overall. and a lot of the writing is straight up nonexistent. like i think there’s plenty of room to fix perhaps questionable writing choices than create a whole new personality for a minor character. or like, again, as someone who is totally down for crackships and just shipping culture in general, why not do both? if we’re gonna give bg characters with no personalities, personalities, why not officer miller or officer person or one of the other bg characters of colour?

or even with what you said, markus/connor for example, i think with how many paths the game can take, there’s just as much like antagonistic/enemies ‘angry gay men’ dynamic to explore as there is with reed900, like it’s the perfect enemies-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic, and if you like having fun in the antagonistic realm you can keep them in the enemies/frenemies sphere, like the game even LETS you do that. like again, i don’t have any answers here and i’m not like out here arguing that people are going out of their way to consciously prioritize white people and erase poc but it’s just something to think about, you know?

anyway thanks again for the message! i’m always down to have discussions like this when everyone’s keeping it respectful.

#asks #long post #dbh #Anonymous

[mcustorm]

I Have Beef With HSMTMTS

When I think back to the pre-Disney+ premiere hype, yes, we were all gushing about the nostalgia fest; additionally, however, Disney was gassing up a couple of original new series. And while shows such as The Mandalorian have delivered, the “other” heavily promoted series, HSMTMTS, it...fell short, in my opinion.

In your typical romantic story plot progression, usually these steps are taken: We meet each other/rediscover each other after a long time -----> Drama ------>We fall in love. Any sequels/later seasons will likely add these steps: We’re in our honeymoon phase -----> Drama -----> We fall back in love.

That’s 6 total steps. Narratively, HSMTMTS was limited from the JUMP because it literally started on Step 5. For comparison, look no further than the original HSM series, which employed all 6 steps. Troy and Gabriella’s story, while admittedly one of the more flavorless aspects, is still at the very least the backbone of the movies.

And that’s another problem with the show in my opinion: it goes out of its way to avoid fully leaning into the campiness of the movies. I think the writers’ room wanted to be “modern” and “ironic” and it just doesn’t fully work for me. At the end of the day, this is a show about kids in theater. We WANT the campy nonsense...Backstage, anyone? Glee, anyone? JATP, anyone? HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, anyone?.

I think the show limited itself by not setting the show in HSM’s canon universe, you know, like we all expected it to be. Because then not only could we have an excuse to see our favorite characters again (which we DESPERATELY need, because the characters least likely to show up again are Troy/Gabriella), we’d already be used to the characters randomly breaking out into song...and we’d be okay with it. Whatever happened to that West high school rumor? 

But instead, the show satirizes the HSM concept for a season and theoretically the show no longer has any reason to allude to HSM, meaning that the strength of the show should now be in the characters, except...these characters are borderline paper thin.

Seblos’ arc is nonexistent. EJ’s character is literally a joke. Big Red and Ashlyn are cute but...ok, they’re together. Now what. At least the teachers’ dynamic is interesting. 

The two most egregious examples to me are definitely Kourtney and Gina. I’ve already posted about how Kourtney is your typical supportive best black friend with 0 character depth (Hello, Flynn), a “character” who is only defined by what she can do for other people. “Coincidentally”, on a show that's drama mostly boils down to “How does character X end up with character Y?”, Seblos has no love story and Kourtney has no ship.

But at least the writers admitted that they fucked up on that one. I get the distinct feeling that the writers’ room had no idea what to do with Gina either and just gave the fuck up halfway through the season. Like the conversation went something like this:

Writer A: So yea, Gina’s gonna be the villainess this season. She wants to steal Nini’s spot.

Writer B: Okay, so what’s she gonna do?

Writer A: She’s going to capitalize off of EJ’s drama with Ricky to hatch a maniacal scheme.

Writer B: Cool! So what’s the scheme?

Writer A: Uhhhhh...well let me get back to you on that.

Then Gina’s character shifts from being a foil to Nini, to being...a foil for Nini, but this time she’s coming for ol’ girl’s man, which ends just about as predictably as it could’ve. That’s kind of a pattern, most of these characters just feel half baked.

Wait, are you saying that these problems are a reflection of this series’ and High School Musical’s greatest sin: it’s reliance and almost strict adherence to white heteronormativity? And that for a series preaching that you shouldn’t “stick to the status quo” it immediately once again puts this random white guy’s problems on center stage (literally and figuratively) while all the other (black, latino, gay) characters are sidelined? In a show about THEATER?

Oh no, not saying that at all. They’re not ready for that conversation...unless 👀

The show could really benefit from letting these characters develop, but instead next season we’ll probably just get about 5 new ones while Rini goes through more drama. But it’s okay, at least Kourtney will be there to reliably listen to all of Nini’s problems.

That’s not even addressing: whatever drama (and there has been a lot of discussion) of whatever nonsense is happening behind the camera, and my opinion on the music (which I will chalk up to me being a bitter oldhead). I always hope the next season is better, but I really hope this show goes above and beyond. I hope it soars and flies, because there’s not a star.....lemme shut up.

#hsmtmts #lettuce pray about this season 2 #hsm #my opinion nobody asked for #it's okay it's free

[angelsunflowers-fanfics]

Timothy Lawrence x reader (First date?)

Request: Hi, are how are you doing? I'm replaying Borderlands The Pre Sequel as Timothy and remembered how much my gay ass loved him (and still do). Is it okay for you to write something about finally going on a first date with him if you don't have too much work? Thanks!

Fandom: Borderlands

Genre: Fluff

Linktree

~~~~

Timothy shielded the sun with one of his hands as he looked off into the distance, it was getting late but he and (y/n), his vault hunter partner, still hadn’t found Jack’s equipment. He said that he needed it for a personal experiment and Timothy wasn’t going to be the one to ask what for. He didn’t exactly have any leverage against his boss anyway.

Timothy’s eyes began to sparkle in wonder as (y/n) walked into his line of sight. The sun shined against their figure perfectly, almost looking like a spotlight on a stage. Timothy had been wanting to ask them out on a date for months now, but he hadn’t exactly had the courage to do so. He needed to. Soon.

“--Hey, are you even listening? You’re gazing off into space again,” (y/n) called him out. 

Timothy’s gaze snapped to (y/n)’s eyes, more alert now more than ever. (y/n)’s arms were crossed over their chest as they waited for an answer from the flustered boy. If they didn’t get a move on soon then jack would be pissed. They’d both seen first hand what he’ll do.

“S-sorry, I… Where do we need to go next?” Timothy stammered.

(y/n) gave him a confused look before gesturing to a small building in the near distance.

“We need to go there, Jack said that that parts for his experiment should be there, but the problem is… We have to go through all those scavs to get them,” (y/n) gently explained, almost worried for Timothy. 

Timothy grumbled lightly at the amount of work he needed to fulfill to get something for his egotistical boss. He didn’t even know what they’re looking for.

“Great. Alright, I’ll take the lead?” Timothy offered.

(y/n) gave him a firm nod before retrieving their sniper rifle from their bag. Timothy slowly threw a grenade toward a pile of Scavs and watched as bullets began to fly from almost every direction. (y/n) ducked and rolled for cover behind a building. Timothy admired them so much.

(y/n) started killing off the scavs in the distance while Timothy covered for them. He couldn’t let them get hurt. They meant too much to the doppelganger.

Timothy stood behind a building only a few feet away from (y/n), gunning down any scavs that got anywhere close to (y/n)’s position.

Now, Timothy needed to ask (y/n) now, “A date.” 

(y/n) halted their shooting for a split second out of shock before hastily continuing as to not get shot by the scavs in front of them. Their grip on the gun shook slightly, wanting to believe what he said was what they heard.

“What?” They asked, wanting clarification.

Timothy gulped lightly before tossing another grenade towards the herd to try to give him and (y/n) a few seconds to breathe. A few more seconds to think.

“Go on a date with me?” Timothy asked.

(y/n) glanced at Timothy for a minute, the noise from behind feeling almost nonexistent as the two lock eyes with each other.

“Like right now?” (Y/n) asked in reply.

(y/n) ducked as a scav flies over their head, still waiting for Timothy’s answer. He wrung his hands together nervously, only stopping to grab a scav that get in a close radius of (y/n).

“No, like later. When we finish the mission? We can--” Timothy was cut off by (y/n) stepping a foot closer to Timothy to quickly press their lips to his for a few seconds to get their point across of relaxing. They separated from him before he could get comfortable and returned to shooting.

“Sure, Timtam,” (y/n) replied in a sweet tone.

The doppelganger was ecstatic, he did it! He finally asked (y/n) out on a date. Timothy slammed his watch down, letting two Digi-jacks pop out to help in the fight. (y/n) paused to reload their gun but stopped short when their eyes caught sight of the two Digi-jacks.

(y/n)’s distracted.

Timothy and (y/n) stood back and watched as the Digi-jacks took out the rest of the bandits in the surrounding area with little problem. The Digi-jacks quickly disappeared as the problem was now solved; Timothy and (y/n) could finally get the equipment that Jack so desperately needed.  

“Alright, let’s go. Shall we?” Timothy asked while (y/n) clipped their sniper to their back before slowly grabbing his outstretched hand toward them and following him into the building, their free hand in front of them; clenching and unclenching nervously. “Everything okay?” Timothy reached outward to (y/n) to place one of his hands on their forehead, feeling their temperature. No fever.

“Y-yeah. I--um, I just forgot how…” (y/n) began to trail off their sentence, not knowing how to piece their words together and the moment. Timothy tightened his grip on one of their hands, his other hand sliding from their forehead to rest on the back of their neck. “I just got a bit distracted by your Digi-jacks… Having 3 of you is, wow… I’m a bit flustered is all. Come on.” 

(y/n) slowly pulled themself out of Timothy’s light grip and headed into the building where the equipment should be.

Timothy stared at (y/n)’s back as the two walked in the long hallways to gather the things that their egotistical boss needed. He could have at least told them what he needed or why. Timothy glanced into the rooms, not knowing what he needed to look for when he noticed (y/n) fidgeting with their hands in front of their body; they were anxious. He didn’t waste any time in reaching out to grab one of their hands, but--

“There! There’s the equipment I need,” Handsome Jack screamed out over their coms. Both parties jumped in surprise at their boss’ voice resonating through their earpieces, was Jack watching them; monitoring their moves?

Timothy halted his movements and turned into one of the rooms, abandoning his mission of trying to calm (y/n) down and grabbed the surprisingly small parts.

“Sir? Are you watching us?” Timothy asked as he stiffened as his boss laughed lightly, even if the question was serious.

“I’m always watching Tim. I saw those moves earlier. You two can come back now. We need to talk,” Hansome Jack ordered.  

Timothy thickly swallowed his nerves as Jack finished his brief commands. He glanced toward (y/n) before glancing up to the big H in the sky. Was he in trouble?

Timothy didn’t want that, neither did (y/n). It was far too soon.

“You heard everything, right?” Timothy asked (y/n).

(y/n) glanced around the room before turning to Timothy and softly shaking their head.

“Just the last bit. I guess we better hurry.” 

(y/n) quickly walked to the ship they landed in, Timothy, hot on their heels. Neither of them wanted to know what Jack would do if they were late. 

(y/n) strapped themself into one of the seats and let Timothy control the ship, last time they did… it didn’t go well. (y/n) almost crashed the ship. So from now on, only Timothy drove.

“Did he ever say what the parts are for?” (y/n) asked.

Timothy shook out his nerves before answering, just because he was nervous or even anxious didn’t mean that (y/n) needed to be. He hated seeing them like that. It hurt.

“No, but hopefully he’ll tell us when we meet back up with him,” Timothy replied. 

(y/n) turned to the window to look out at the stars, a wistful look present upon their features.

“Someday…” Timothy glanced over to (y/n) every few seconds, checking on them and waiting for them to finish the sentence. “I want to move to a nice planet where we won’t have to worry about bringing enough bullets on a night out. We can relax and just… be. You know?” 

Timothy let the statement sit in the air for a few moments, running it over and over in his head, again and again.

“Uh, we?” Timothy asked, hopeful that they meant what he thought they meant.

(y/n) gave Timothy a shy smile before slowly placing a hand on one of his arms.

“Yeah. We.” 

The Doppelganger felt himself become a bit flustered, he still didn’t know how he found someone like them. Before he could relish in the butterflies in stomach feeling, Helios quickly entered his line of sight. A sense of dread hung in the air as Timothy finally landed the small ship and got out. He felt shaky, anxious; almost like he was going to throw up. (y/n) seemed oblivious.

He walked down a few hallways, not stopping by anything like he normally would. He wanted nothing more than to get this meeting over with. Maybe then he could finally take (y/n) out on a date.

Wait. He paused in his steps when he stopped hearing 1 pair of footsteps following behind him. Timothy let out a deep sigh and braced himself to hunt down (y/n) again.

They were staring at the walls, they were covered in… flowers?

“Why is the hallway to his office covered in flowers?” (y/n) voiced exactly what Timothy was asking himself.

Timothy glanced ahead to the large doors to Jack’s office. He was trying to impress (y/n). Great.

“Come on, we’re almost there,” Timothy said. The two vault hunters walked through the large doors of Jack’s office to check in after their mission, but Timothy… what if he killed Timothy? “You wanted to see us, Sir?” Jack turned away from the giant window in his office to greet the two.

“Hey, Kiddos! Where are my parts that I asked for?” He asked cheerfully in his normal charasmatic tone.

Timothy huffed out a sigh and handed his gun to (y/n) while he handed over the small parts to Jack, placing them all neatly on his desk.

“We got them. Is that all or--” Jack simply pressed a button on his desk, Timothy and (y/n) watched in anticipation as a mask, identical to Jack’s, slowly rose from the ground.

“I need you to wear this is public. I don’t care what you do or who you do in your home, but You need to wear this to cover up your face. You are supposed to be my doppelganger after all. I’m not cruel enough to brand you though… Nobody should have to go through that,” Jack solemly said. 

(y/n) took a step toward Jack, a careful hand placed on one of his arms and asked, “Sir, are you okay?” 

Jack took a deep breath before standing up straight and brushing a hand through his hair.

“I’m great, Cupcake. How are you?” 

Timothy rose an eyebrow at what his boss was doing to his partner but it wasn’t like he could exactly tell his boss to fuck off. That would be suicide.

“Okay, is that all you needed?” Timothy said as he clenched his jaw tightly as Jack wrapped an arm around their shoulders, tugging them close to him.

“Well, me and Nish have been looking to excite things in the bedroom, you know? So what would you say about a three-way?” Jack offered (y/n), a flirty smile plastered on his face.

A blush was quick to find its way to (y/n), they stood still, shocked at the provocative question.

“I--uh… I don’t…” 

Timothy stood between the two, keeping (y/n) behind him as he dealt with Jack’s advances.

“Are we getting paid anytime soon… Sir?” His teeth were clenched so tightly. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was this mad. Jack’s eyebrows rose, he was actually impressed.

“Well look who grew a pair. Damn, Tim. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Jack pressed a few buttons on his phone and the two vault hunters got notifications on their echo. Paid for their mission. “Sweetheart, you still don’t really have a place to stay, do you?” (y/n) peeked their head around Timothy’s broad shoulders, shaking their head. They hadn’t really had a place to stay since Zarpodon. Timothy and (y/n) had been trying to get everything settled, and dealing with Jack on a daily basis was a full-time job on its own.

“No, I’ve just been kind of staying with Timothy.” 

Jack glanced between the two before giving a final answer, “We’re running out of single units, so I’ll just pair you two together in one of the two-bedroom units. You’re welcome. Now you’re free to leave.” 

Timothy grabbed (y/n)’s hand in a firm hold and dragged them out of his office, he continued to keep a steady pace to the center of Helios. Timothy let out a deep sigh before dropping (y/n)’s hand.

“Are you okay, Timothy? I’ve never seen you so angry before,” (y/n) mentioned. 

He let out a sarcastic laugh and crossed his arms over his chest before he replied, “I’ve never been so angry… Would you actually have a three-way with him and Nisha?” 

(y/n) stared at Timothy for a moment, knowing how serious the question actually was. He would be crushed if they said yes.

“No, but if it were Moxxie and you then… yes. Because that’s a perfect combination.” 

Timothy laughd lightly before agreeing.

*ding!*

Timothy dug through his pocket to pick up his echo, it worked more as a phone than anything but… it was an echo.

“Looks like we’re going to have to wait a bit until our stuff is moved into the new unit. You wanna go get something to eat?” Timothy asked, already knowing the answer.

(y/n)’s eyes lit up, anybody would think they were a child with how excited they got at the mention of food. They grabbed his hand tightly and dragged him to their favorite place.

Timothy was just hoping for a simple date, but now he got to live with (y/n), he was more than happy. Too bad he had to go face to face with Jack to do so. He almost decked him.

One date at a time. One day at a time, Timothy would stick by their side for as long as he could. Not even Jack could come between him and (y/n). Not even a giant vault monster.

#Timothy Lawrence #Timothy Lawrence x reader #Borderlands #Borderlands x reader

[nezclaw]

i’m not particularly eloquent except on rare occasions, and it’s been said before by others much clearly, but Good Omens? Amazing.

I am an asexual possibly aromantic person. I roll my eyes at romantic depictions in media. They’re (almost) always so cliched and forced. There’s no good reason for these people to be together, usually. There’s no chemistry. The relationship is extremely shallow (and white, and straight, and ‘conventionally attractive’). Or it’s like, okay, here are the two leads and over the course of the seasons they end up falling in love and having sex. Which isn’t bad, per say, but it’s treated as the pinnacle of the relationship and i just wonder “why”.

And the same goes for shipping. The vast majority of the time I see ships and go “huh. Okay.” because I don’t really see anything different about the way the characters involved interact with each other. I’m not saying shipping is bad, mind you. You can ship whoever you want and I won’t stop you (although I may give you a hard side-eye if you’re shipping a literal child (ie 16 and under) and adult or someone with their abuser). It’s not my job to stop you.

Good Omens, though... Good Omens is the standard we should hold romantic depictions to. There is no question that they are in love, despite the fact that they never outright say it. (Really, the musical score makes sure of that.) It’s the little gestures, the way Aziraphale’s face lights up, the Arrangement, the way Crowley keeps trying to get Aziraphale to go away with him, and then gets upset when he thinks Aziraphale died, how they threaten to not talk to or think about each other when something goes wrong, and the threat actually works (At least for Aziraphale). The fact that they even make that threat speaks volumes to what they mean to each other.

And yet. There’s no sex between them. No gratuitous making out. None of the usual shorthands used to indicate to the audience that “yes these two are in love, really.” It’s very much a reverse of the typical approach, and it’s so nice to see. It’s extremely affirming. It’s no wonder so many people on my dashboard are posting Good Omens. It’s exactly the queer romance we needed to see. Because it is queer. Neil has said that they don’t have human gender, since they are divine beings. They present as male, but they’re as male as the Gems from Steven Universe are female. Maybe less, even, since Crowley has presented as female before and I don’t remember any gems presenting male although I could be wrong. And I’m not talking just about the scenes with the nanny, which some have tried to argue is transphobic because man in a dress (even though I didn’t really see that as the joke, it read more as “Evil Mary Poppins”.) (If he had tried to seduce someone while dressed like that that would be a different story) but it’s been confirmed that he was wearing women’s clothing while watching the crucifixion.

I uh.... kinda forgot where i was going with this, but Good Omens is important. It has touched so many queer folk, and particularly those for whom representation is nonexistent. Asexuals, aromantics, and anyone who falls under that umbrella; people who are genderfluid, nonbinary, agender, transgender, intersex; they don’t get even the scant representation that lesbian and gay people get. (at least i don’t think so. and i’m not sure where bisexuals and pansexuals fall on that range) And, as an aroace myself, we  need that representation too. People need to see what a loving, non-sexual relationship looks like.

#long post #good omens

[sweetmemories2606]

Ice-Castle (Birthday fic)

Here's another birthday present, this time for the lovely @ship-ambrosia (Bree).  

Thank you so much for being such an amazing friend and for constantly supporting me when it comes to my fics.

You're just the best and I love you.

Hope you'll enjoy this not really short piece.

Title: Ice-Castle

Pairings: Gruvia/Lyon x Sherry

Summary: Gray and Juvia spend some time with Lyon and Sherry's daughter, Ur, and wonder about the future.

Timeline: Alternative. Post-GMG.

Word Count: around 1900

Happy reading! 

                                     _________

                                   July of X791

"Look, uncle Gray, I just built an ice castle." Gray attempted to look interested once the excited little girl came running towards him.

Her bright pink hair; styled in pigtails; flowed with the wind; as did her light blue dress. She was truly a beautiful child, but that wasn't surprising considering who her parents were.

"That's great, Ur." The ice mage gave a tight smile.

When Lyon had asked him for a big favor a few hours before, Gray hadn't imagined it might involve babysitting his 5 years old niece.

When he had been informed of this after having said yes, the ice mage had been tempted to refuse.

However, after the little girl had looked at him with those big blue eyes just like her mother's and Lyon and Sherry pleaded multiple times, he had found himself accepting their request.

"Come on, let me show you!" Ur tugged on his jacket and he ignored her.

"Why don't you show me, little Ur? I would love to see it!" A soft voice was heard and Gray mentally thanked the bluenette who was sitting on the bench by his side.

She had asked to accompany him, which Gray was grateful for since that way he didn't need to constantly keep his eye on the overly energetic child.

"But I want uncle Gray to see it too!" Ur pouted and Gray sighed.

"I guess I have no choice, then." He stood from the bench and reluctantly held out his hand so that she could grab it.

Ur pretty much dragged him towards the spot where she had been playing for the past few minutes while Juvia followed closely; watching their interactions with a smile.

"What a beautiful castle, Ur." The water mage praised once they stopped in front of the small ice castle.

The little girl smiled brightly. "Thank you, auntie Juvia."

Once Juvia kneeled down, Ur thankfully let go Gray's hand and ran towards the water mage; eager to hug her favorite aunt.

Gray rolled his eyes at them, but was unable to stop a smile from forming. Though he would never admit it, he loved watching her interact with his niece.

Their relationship was so sweet and unexpected. Lyon always told Gray that Ur had loved Juvia from the first time they met.

It had been a few weeks since Fairy Tail had returned from Tenrou Island and he had brought his daughter to the guild with the intent of introducing her to Gray.

However, the ice mage had completely forgotten about the visit and decided to take a mission in that very same day.

Thus Lyon had sought Juvia, who he knew to be close to Gray, and asked her about the ice mage. Before their conversation could go any further, Ur had interrupted with a comment about Juvia's hair.

The little girl had been fascinated with it and had started asking the water mage questions. They had ended up spending the entire day together and when Gray had returned from his mission at night, Ur had proudly introduced her as auntie Juvia.

The adults had decided not to correct her and thus it had stuck.

Every time she would call Juvia while they were in the Fairy Tail guild, Gray would see the smirks of some members and Mira's knowing smile; causing him to blush because he knew exactly what they were thinking.

After all; the only way Juvia could have truly become Ur's aunt was if their relationship took a step further.

                                           _________

Which it had. After months of her chasing him and claiming to love him while he ignored her advances, they were finally together.

It had been a few weeks since Gray had confessed to her and he once again cursed himself for taking so long to realize it.

Although; truth be told; realizing it hadn't helped much. In fact; that had only made him terrified because he knew that loving her might end up in her death.

After all; he had experienced it with his parents and Ur; even Erza had almost died at some point.

Every time he allowed someone to get too close, something terrible happened. And even if Gray knew it was foolish to believe that would always follow, he hadn't wanted to take any risks.

Until Juvia came.

She had somehow managed to make him wonder if it was truly worth it to always keep people at a certain distance and he had been unable to stop himself from caring about her.

After he had realized that her claims of love were actually genuine and not simply attraction like his mind had suggested, Gray had began thinking about what he might do.

Back then his feelings for her had been unclear; thus he had still kept the walls around his heart; but the Grand Magic Games changed everything.

His conversation with Ezra led him to truly truly think about his feelings for Juvia. After they had performed their unison raid; thus defeating Lyon and Chelia; he had known it.

He loved her. Not just as a friend, but he wanted to be with her.

Even if that terrified him, he had found comfort in having an answer to the question constantly plaguing his mind for the past few days.

That moment when everything had been so clear for once, his mind had started thinking of the possibilities and imagining a scenario in which he could be happy with her.

Unfortunately, no sooner had he thought about a happy future, the world had been thrown into chaos.

Gray would later see the dragon's attack as a sign, a warning that he should not allow himself to have such thoughts. He shouldn't think of Juvia as anything more than a friend and shouldn't keep her too close.

When she had almost died; that was the last straw. Even after he had managed to save her and reverse fate, he still decided to stay away from her.

It wasn't until a rather awkward conversation with Erza and Jellal that he had realized how stupid he was being.

After all, upon making such decision he had failed to think about how much Juvia might be hurt once he started avoiding her. That's why he had changed his mind and decided to confess his love for her.

It was time to move on from the past and let go of those irrational fears.

Looking back now, Gray was glad that he had decided to allow himself to hope, because he wouldn't trade this happiness he had felt with Juvia over the past few weeks for anything in the world.

                                          _________

"Gray? Is everything okay, my love?" Her voice broke his train of thought, making him realize that he had been standing there like an idiot for the past few minutes.

A small blush colored his cheeks as he looked at his girlfriend. "Yeah, I was just distracted. Sorry."

The ice mage scratched the back of his head awkwardly and Juvia gave him an understanding look. "It's alright. I was just concerned."

Before he could say anything else, Ur had tugged on his legs to get his attention. "Uncle Gray, I want you to help too!" He gave her a puzzled look.

"Help with what?" The water mage smiled as she replied.

"We're going to help Ur make her castle even more beautiful than it already is." Gay glanced towards the small castle and was surprised to notice that there was now a bow circling it.

He recognized Juvia's water magic immediately and couldn't help but to smile. "I see." He knelt down in front of the excited little girl. "So, what do you want me to do?"

Ur smiled brightly. "The walls! Daddy always says the castle need to have walls to make it safe."

"And he's right. At least about one thing." Gray said before using his magic to create ice walls around the castle.

In the back of his mind he thought about the similar walls that he had created around his heart and how great it felt to know that they had been brought down.

"Do you like it, Ur?" He asked her once his work was done.

Ur nodded. "Now my castle is the best in the land!" She yelled before starting to run around.

Gray and Juvia watched her with mirrored smiles. "She's really…"

He finished her sentence. "Overwhelming."

She nodded. "Yes. But also adorable."

Gray snorted. "It's hard to believe she is Lyon's daughter."

Both laughed and Juvia shook her head. "You boys and your silly rivalry. I can't even imagine what it will be like when we have our own children."

Her eyes widened upon realizing what she had said and silence fell upon them once they tried to recover from her words.

They had been together for only 3 weeks. Not months, not years.

They were nowhere near the thought of children, but that didn't stop Gray from actually imagining it. "Well, I'm sure ours will be way cuter."

Juvia looked at him in pure shock, her mouth hanging open, leading him to raise his brows. "What?"

"I'm just surprised, that's all." She said and he smiled before wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"What? You don't think I've ever thought about it?" The water mage immediately shook her head.

"I didn't think so." Gray shrugged.

"After finding out that Lyon had somehow gotten married and had a child, I started thinking about it." He paused to look back at Ur. She had started dancing to nonexistent music and it was just too adorable.

"I'm no where near ready for that, of course, but doesn't mean I can't imagine what it might be like." A large blush colored his cheeks and he avoided her eyes.

"What do you think it might be like, then?" Gray looked back at her, unsurprised by the serene smile on her face.

Anyone would've expected Juvia to go crazy over such news, but ever since they had become a couple her reactions had become less overwhelming.

He thanked her for that because it made him uncomfortable when she reacted so intensely.

"I don't wait to say it." Juvia raised a brow. "Come on, Juvia, it's embarrassing."

He was now blushing even more, and she laughed. "Alright, then. I'll go first."

Gray watched her, unsure what to expect. "I have always pictured a little girl with blue hair and dark eyes like yours. She would be an ice make wizard and you would teach her everything. We'd live in Magnolia with our friends and she would be loved by everyone in the guild."

"That sounds wonderful." Gray brought her closer and wrapped his arms around her from behind. They briefly glanced at the little girl who was still dancing while chasing a butterfly.

"What about you?" Juvia turned around so she could look into his eyes.

Gray immediately smiled. "Honestly? I thought the same thing."

#fanfic #gruvia #fluff #babysitting #lyon x sherry #fairy tail #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #lyon vastia #sherry blendy #birthday present #hope you enjoy

[monkee98]

A RobbiHachi review….

It's been a long while since I've posted but I felt inspired after my experience with this show. I wrote out a short review and a long review of this show, so take your pick, one, both or neither. 

Short review, I loved it. I was talking to my best friend about it and came to the realization that the story had an uncanny resemblance to the movie Tangled. Shitty guy finds an innocent kid who hasn’t seen much of the world under not so flattering circumstances, ends up showing the kid the world despite not having any personal interest in much of it. Its quickly became one of my favorites, the characters are fun and the journey and scenarios they find themselves in are amusing. I adored Hachi’s outlook on life, always looking for new experiences and finding enjoyment in all of it. Robby, despite coming off as sort of a gullible deadbeat, he has a good heart and persistently sunny view of the future. There are the occasional gay euphamisms, and big boobs, but not super in your face. It’s fun, its quirky, it’s a little niche but if you can or want to turn your brain off for a while then this would be a great little show to watch!

Long review below!

First of all, after looking into the reception of the show and the next to nonexistent fandom, this is definitely the hit or miss type. Also this fantastic, ship name of a title makes me smile everytime i see it. To give a brief description of the genre elements, its categorized as a sci-fi space comedy. I have also noticed quite a few complaints about the fusion between sci-fi and mech in this show so I suppose I should mention that, yes, there is also mechs. Personally, I enjoy media that involves sci-fi or comedy, with no particular preference for space. As for mechs, I think as long as you’re not one of those people who despise mechs on principle, that aspect should be no problem as it plays a relatively small role. The sci-fi aspect was surprisingly insignificant for me. It takes place in a sort of alternate future where space travel is like traveling to another country today, along with the advanced tech that comes with it, so it’s definitely sci-fi, but it’s not the driving genre. What stood out to me the most was the futuristic space aspect, seeing as that was what drove the setting and story. 

WIth that segway, we move on to the characters (that was ironic). Long story short, I love them. Though, I could see why other people wouldn’t as well, but I’ll get back to that. As I mentioned before the title is basically a ship name, but if you’re not into that don’t fret, there is no successful romance involved. Robby Yarge is one of the deuteragonists and the first character we meet, he’s a 30 something, gullible, wannabe womanizer with never ending optimism for his increasingly bleak future, until Hachi that is. Backstory is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of this show, unorthodox, I know. Robby was born into a wealthy family, but left out of boredom and went in search of his own adventure. He gets tricked into what are obviously money laundering scams and is in a perpetual downward spiral of debt. This is how he meets a part time employee of his loan shark, Hachi. As it turns out this guy’s backstory holds a little significance and is part of a big reveal at the end, so to keep this spoiler free I won’t go too into it. But we do know before the reveal is that he is a well educated 18 year old out looking for new experiences and “excitement”. I put that in quotes because it seems most of the time this kid equates “new” with “exciting”, even when no one else really seems to see what he sees. I found Hachi to be immediately endearing with his persistent positivity and adorably rose colored view of the world. Robby acts as the start of this worlds traveling adventure for Hachi, he has plenty of bad points but I found myself warming up to him as he showed he has a good heart. 

They travel from planet to planet indulging in tourist traps and occasionally helping out the residents. They work a fun dynamic along with Robby’s robo-rabbit companion, Hachi finding enjoyment in just about everything, and Robby half enjoying along with him, half questioning his sanity. Ikku, the robo-rabbit, acts as a reality check, constantly reminding the two of their goal and lack of funds.

Speaking of, this adventure starts as when our dynamic duo decide to head to the almost legendary tourist planet called Isekandar, finding some reason or another to stop at other planets along the way. Robby looking to outrun his loan shark, Mr Yang who is looking to mow down Robby’s ass for repayment, literally. I would be remiss if I neglected to talk about this character, he acts as the “villian” without really feeling like one. It becomes a game of cat and mouse. Yang and his gang follow Robby to the ends of the galaxy and often get caught up in the same tourist traps, significantly slowing them down so they always end up one step behind. For the most part, that’s the story. Its very character driven and the enjoyment is drawn out of the interactions between the characters and the exploration into the overarching theme that it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. I almost wish they didn’t make it to Isekandar, that we got more episodes of the three companions making their way across the galaxy, falling headfirst into tourist traps. The ending was satisfying in the sense that it felt like an ending with a hopeful outlook. 

Quickly I suppose I should say that despite how much I enjoyed this show, it wasn’t anything amazing. I could see why someone would drop the show, or just not find a connection with the characters. As a said, Robby isn’t the most sympathizable character out there and Hachi’s overenthusiasm for the dumbest things could be seen as annoying. All I know is I loved the characters, I loved the story, I loved the world they set. If any of what I described appealed to you at all, please give it a try. It may not be an anime of the year, but it’s chill, it’s fun and sends a pretty good message. So far I’ve only watched the dub, but I plan on watching the sub for fun at some point. This is one of those shows I would, and already did, totally rewatch when I’m feeling down.  

#mypost #text post #robihachi #robby yarge #hachi kita #anime review

[battlestar-royco]

Now that you have answered that question, can you expand a bit your opinion on Harry Potter and JK Rowling in particular? I am curious to see your thoughts about that, both about the book series and the way JKR treated the female characters that are not Hermione and Ginny and Dumbledore's sexuality.

Ooooh another HP ask! Well, disclaimer, I have a really biased positive view of the books that I’ve only begun to deconstruct in the past couple years because I read them at an age when I had a much simpler/almost nonexistent representation-related lens. Here’s my positive opinion: I love that JKR gave us complex characters, situations, and lore that the HP fandom is still discussing over a decade after the publication of the last book. I love that she trusted her young target audience to understand the themes of the books and to handle gray characters. In terms of women, I like how Rowling represents women at different ages, of different strengths/abilities, different social/magical identities, and different appearances and body types.

Here’s my critical opinion: JKR could’ve done a LOT better with representation of ethnicity, sexuality, and moral ambiguity for women. I can easily list a bunch of HP men who are regarded as incredibly gray: Snape, Dumbledore, the four Marauders, Draco, even Harry at times. The only gray women who come to mind are Narcissa and maybe Merope Gaunt if I’m being generous. Every other woman is either completely evil like Bellatrix or Umbridge, complete badass heroines, idealized matrons like Molly or McGonagall, or background characters. I’m satisfied with the presence/influence/active roles of women in HP, but it would’ve been great to have a woman as debated as Snape or Dumbledore (for the record, I don’t like Snape at all, but he’s stirred up SO MUCH fandom conversation that I don’t think will ever end). Also, the representation of women of color is just abysmal. We have Parvati and Padma Patil, who are at their most relevant when they are Harry’s last choice for the Yule Ball, and Cho Chang, who was literally confirmed by JKR to be a “weak” (AKA openly emotional) foil for white headstrong Ginny. Speaking of Ginny, I think JKR did her a disservice by kind of sidelining her until Harry needed advice and emotional support in OOTP, and then springing Hinny on us in HBP. I love Ginny and I think she and Harry are good for each other, but I’ve always wanted a lot more page time for her, Luna, and Neville.

To be fair, the first book came out in 1997, when we had a completely different understanding of representation and more limited ways to write non-white/straight/etc characters. However, it irks me when JKR comes out years after the fact with things like the Dumbledore reveal, retconning certain characters as POC or religious minorities, and confirming that LGBTQ people would be widely accepted in the HP universe. But like?? Receipts??! Call me a radical but I don’t think something is good rep or writing if the reader literally can’t tell that a character is a minority until the author tells them in meta commentary. I’ve read the books more times than I can count and most of the “clues” JKR gives concerning Dumbledore’s sexuality are rather arbitrary straight-person-gaydar details, like his mannerisms and clothing. The weird thing is that the dynamics between Muggle-borns/non-human species and wizards reflects at least some level of understanding of oppression on JKR’s part, but she doesn’t seem interested in representing the people whose struggles she based those dynamics upon. Additionally, she seems happy to support fan interpretations of HP characters as LGBTQ, POC, and mentally/physically disabled, but when it comes time for her to include such characters in canon, she… interestingly doesn’t do it. For example, the werewolves are supposed to represent how the HIV/AIDS crisis specifically affects LGBTQ communities, and blood purity is supposed to be reminiscent of antisemitism and racism, but she doesn’t make any of her characters explicitly gay or feature any central Jewish characters or characters of color. Also, the FB movies would have been a great opportunity to showcase more characters of color, seeing as it takes place in Harlem, NY, but almost everyone in that movie is white, even the extras and one-liners! Plus we have this VERY uncomfortable, predatory, manipulative relationship between Graves and Credence. It’s a really intriguing part of the movie, but it’s also quite shitty that her only intentionally coded m/m relationship is abusive while we have two perfectly healthy straight ships in the movie. I really hope the next movie gives us more about Dumbledore’s darkness and lightness as a wizard and a person, and especially what he was working on with Grindelwald way back in the day. They certainly don’t need to kiss or anything (and I don’t think they should), but I would really like an explicit acknowledgement of the nature of their relationship and the love/infatuation (?????? we still don’t know what it was!!) he once felt for Grindelwald.

#asks #anti jkr #this got really long because i'm very fucking extra and i've been known to talk about harry potter for several hours on end SORRY

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

The beautiful and sweet @kabukii showed me a Hero Academia themed list of asks and I decided to just go ahead and answer all of them! Why? Because it looks like fun! So here we go!

1: What Quirk would you want(your own or existing in BNHA), and why? So, I ended up giving myself a pretty basic quirk and its really nothing special but I still like it enough not to change it. Essentially, its a dragon quirk. With a mostly human appearance, the only outward clues to my ability manifest in the form of a pair of horns on my head, a set of bat-like wings protruding from my shoulder blades, and a scaly tail jutting out of my backside. Of course I can fly, which is my greatest advantage, but I can also breathe fire on occasion. However, this is highly dependent on not only the strength of my lungs but also how much air they can hold because you need oxygen to set off the chemical reaction that actually produces the fire. So all in all, thats more of a last ditch effort if I find myself backed into a corner. I’m a little more sturdy than the average human but by no means do I have super strength. I can just handle a punch better than some. The truth is that, physically, I’m actually pretty weak. As a dragon hybrid, I’m at least somewhat resistant to flames which means I can safely run my hands through Endeavor’s beard but on the flip side, too much exposure to high temperatures trigger my heat cycle so all in all, its very much a double edged sword. I tried my best to balance this quirk so it didn’t seem overpowered but I also didn’t want to have something useless and this is what I came up with! 

2: Best quirk? Hm, this is a hard one because there are so many choices to pick from! Honestly I think I might have to go with Momo’s creation quirk. It would definitely be a pain having to learn how to make the more complicated stuff (like the transmitter she came up with on the fly?) but if you successfully create something once, it should be easy as pie to do it again! Even putting aside the more illegal options you could go with, such as laundering fake money, I just think it would be really convenient to make like, accessories and stuff. You see a super cute hairbow online but you have no cash to buy it with? Just make it yourself! That stuffed animal you’ve always wanted but could never afford? Make that bitch yourself! Plus, converting energy into matter sounds like a really great excuse to eat like a pig and never gain any weight! 

3: Worst quirk? Another toughie! Eeh, I’ll probably have to go with Aoyama’s navel laser. Even putting aside the fact its an unwieldy quirk that seems to cause more damage to the user than any of his enemies, it doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me. Is the energy for the laser stored inside the bellybutton itself or is it like an umbilical cord and the energy is actually produced within the stomach and merely expelled through the navel? What exactly is the laser comprised of? Is it sparkling stomach acid? Is that why it makes him ill when he uses it too much? I just have a lot of questions about the mechanics of this one but I think what it boils down to is simply being silly and, from my point of view, pretty much useless as an actual offensive ability. 

4:  BNHA harem? 5-10 people. *distant cackling* I was born to answer this question.

Bakugou Katsuki

Todoroki Enji aka Endeavor 

Dabi

Toga Himiko

Toyomitsu Taishiro aka Fat Gum

Mirio Togata aka Lemillion 

5:  Fave gay ship(s)? To be perfectly honest, I don’t really have any gay ships for this show. I just haven’t seen any canon interactions that made me go ‘oh yeah, they want to gently hold hands in the park at night’. : /

6: Fave lesbian ship(s)? Same as above. Sorry to disappoint. 

7:  Fave straight ship(s)? I support both Bakugou x Toga and Bakugou x Cammie. But Bakugou x me is OTP.  Also Dabi x Toga seems pretty solid but I haven’t seen much of that.

8:  Fave OT3? Okay, I’m really not well equipped to answer these shipping questions because I’m not much of a shipper outside of selfships sooooo yolo.

9:  Most underrated ship? I’m gonna’ go ahead and say that the Dabi x Toga pairing is criminally underrated since it almost seems to be nonexistent despite the fact they’d make a great maniacs-in-love type couple. Very Joker and Harley Quinn-esque. 

10:  Most overrated ship? I definitely think Bakugou x Deku and Shoto x Deku are overrated af. I can’t say which is worse since I don’t spend a lot of time looking at shipping content but I see enough of these two to know the fandom is over saturated with both. 

11: Most cancerous ship/ shipping fandom? Again, I don’t hang out in this side of the fandom much so I don’t really have an opinion thats actually relevant to the question, but I know for a fact that the anti-shippers are by far the most cancerous of all.

With all the shipping questions out of the way (hopefully) I’m gonna’ break this up into two posts so it doesn’t get too long! Stay tuned for the next installment of “Otomeshi’s Shitty Opinion Corner!”.

#ask

[untoldtalesofasinner]

Oddly True

Flower-Gathering

 I left you in the morning,

And in the morning glow,

You walked a way beside me

To make me sad to go.

Do you know me in the gloaming,

Gaunt and dusty grey with roaming?

Are you dumb because you know me not,

Or dumb because you know?

 All for me? And not a question

For the faced Glowers gay

That could take me from beside you

For the ages of a day?

They are yours, and be the measure

Of their worth for you to treasure,

The measure of the little while

That I’ve been long away.

 R. Frost

  Its been four days since I have left my bed. Its been four days since a light has been on in the house. The metaphorical light has been dim to nonexistent for some time. I lay on my side watching the sun rise through the cracks of the blinds. My body aches, probably from being in bed for so long or from the tension of my stressed muscles refusal to sleep. The hours go by as the missed notifications and text messages continue to roll in. I make the first movement in hours which is turning my phone on do not disturb and delete all the apps I have notifications for then stare at the dark tv screen. Somehow the lull soothe me to sleep but it isn’t peaceful and dream free as hoped. I wake up to what feels like days later but its only been a couple hours. My body is hot and sticky, its also been four days since I’ve showered. The ache in my bones knocks and reminds me that the hot water might help. I drag myself from the bed and turn on one light. Progress.

The water is too hot but I let it burn my skin. Being naked and vulnerable in the shower makes the nakedness and vulnerability I feel on the inside much more prominent. Suddenly I want to get out of the shower but I am being held down by the thick steam. I manage to wash my hair and body but the pressure in my chest builds and I can’t breath. Shutting the water off before all the suds have been removed from my body, I yank the towel off the hook not even managing to wrap the whole thing around before pulling the bathroom door open. My breath comes in short huffs and I begin to shake. Firmly pressing my back to the wall I slide down to the floor hoping it gives me steadiness or maybe a sense of security. Minutes pass and I wrap my shaking arms around my knees, if I get small enough it will go away or hopefully I will disappear as a whole. Its not going to go away this time is it?

Water from my hair drips down my back its cold but it doesn’t feel cold. The vibration of my body has dulled but my hands still shake. An overwhelming urge to get out of this house, this state, this country fuck this skin takes over, not in waves but concrete, filling from my toes slowly to my head. I have to get out of this country. I keep running from state to state but that hasn’t provided any relief so far, well relief for long. I know I am running from my problems or whatever makes my body glued to the bed every morning and makes my eyes water every night but I can’t help it.

To Maddie: I need a no questions favor.

I’m happy I haven’t completely shut the world yet as my plan this morning was going to drown my phone instead of switching on a simple DND. How convenient technology has become.

From Maddie: Okay…..

To Maddie: I need you to go to my parents house get my passport and overnight it to me.

To Wanda: Where is my passport?

God, I knew when I was visiting recently I should’ve taken it. I have also brought it upon myself to enlist a middleman. I simply can’t ask my parents to send my passport so urgently. They believe that I am on day four of my new job and about to begin my long journey of going back to college. I mean part of it is still true just a very small part. To avoid any suspicion the middleman is required no longer preferred.

To Maddie: I’ll pay you

From Maddie: What is the overnight cut off?

To Maddie: I don’t know I just need it as soon as possible.

I begin to look forward to a long flight hoping I can sleep restless free or it just won’t seem that way with a plane full of restless passengers to drown me out.

From Maddie: The cut off is at 5PM and I have an appointment at 4:15PM. Does it have to be today?

I don’t reply.

My chest tightens and I rub my face in frustration. A dream is slipping away, no not a dream a salvation. Peeling myself from the floor to dress I stare into the closet at the multiple suitcases. I refuse to give up. I don’t want to spend the money and I don’t want to give into the never ending impression of my running from the world. But its too late I’ve made up my mind, perpetual disappointment seems to follow me anyways. If I can’t get my passport a whole wrench will be thrown to my plans. I don’t want to be limited to domestic, yuck. I play with the though of New York and scout another minion.

To Anthony: I need you to call me when you get out of school its important.

My phone rings and I almost miss it because of that damn dnd but I answer quickly trying to mental math the time zone difference.

“Are you out of school? I ask.

“No I just stepped out of class.” He says waiting for me to get to the point clear worry in his tone. Fuck.

“I need you to find my passport at home and overnight it to me.” I quickly blurt out. He’s quite.

“I asked your mom where she left it but I haven’t heard back and really need it as soon as possible. So if you could when you get home look for it and ship it to me I’ll pay for everything.” I add and wait patiently.

“Okay.” Is all he says after a long beat.

“Uh also don’t really mention anything, you know.” I say.

“Well I am going to have to ask mom where she put it and plus you already talked to her.” His voice is full of curiosity.

“Yeah, yeah its fine you are right. Thank you.” I say quickly and hang up.

One hour and forty three minutes later I am trapped again on the dreaded bed. I have picked my flight and Airbnb as well as scheduled my exam for tomorrow you know to soften the blow. I drag my hands over my face and my chest tightens. Everything hurts and its getting harder to breath again. I fall back at the end of the bed using an arm to cover my eyes from the tiniest of sun light that seeps in through the blinds.

To Anthony: Any luck?

Fourteen minutes later I drag my fingers through my hair. FUCK. I begin to pace around the room.

  I went outside today. The moment the sun hit me I immediately wanted to turn back around and go back inside. Yet several hours later back in my house my shoes are still on. Though I replied to a few messages and calls, saw the sun, and some lights are finally on I still can’t breath. My muscles still ache from trying to hold myself together all day. My passport arrives Saturday at 10AM which unfortunately leaves me over 24hrs to sit in darkness. Darkness that I know that will follow me thousands of miles but maybe it won’t suffocate me as much. There are moments that I catch myself concerned about my own behavior. Am I okay? Do I want to die? I go through the whole suicide questionnaire. Its not that I want to die I just sometime wish I never existed at all. This place is a comfortable one to be in and instead of fighting it I have fully succumbed. This is how its always going to be why continue to fight it and put a fake smile on. I fear I have put to many expectations on my get away and the guilt from lying is a faint background noise.

  didn’t even remember I stopped eating a couple days ago until the alcohol came back up. My chest doesn’t feel as tight but the ache is still there. This feeling doesn’t go away no matter how much I soak it in booze and drugs. I hoped that I would feel differently or feel something. You have no idea how much I hoped I would feel something different than this. God this must be what back sliding feels like. I guess you wouldn’t know since I am sure you haven’t read all the things I’ve written every time I have felt this way over the years. But for me defiantly back sliding. Oddly I am laughing at the thought, could be the booze or drugs.

Everyone loves the surface of me and maybe that’s my fault for keeping everyone at arms length. Its not that I don’t think that people wouldn’t love me this way, I’m just too scared to show people this side. You know that feeling when you’ve been in the sun too long and all the sunscreen you’ve put on hours ago is long gone? Your lips are dry and your eyes burn from the sun? For some damn reason that is the feeling I get when I wake up everyday. Then again I don’t do much of the regular human functions like eat or drink water at the right times. For some damn reason it has been less appealing as the days go by and I gag every time I force water or food down. I want it to stop. I don’t want this feeling to creep up upon me anymore. I mean for fuck sakes most of my life trauma is far behind be. I want it to stay far in the past and never again be tempted to fall into the comfortable black tar pit again. I may have describe it as a sweet thing before and it seems that way but it’s a sticky trap just like growing up is. Seems so great from a distance until you are days, months, years stuck into something you didn’t know how you got yourself into. But for some damn reason I can’t even scream for help anymore though you know I would never do such a thing.

This is not a new thing, it’s a new thing I’ve been more willingly to share. I keep pressing the send button on my true fucking feelings and its terrifying. The worst part is that I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about what everyone I send this to will think of me. I am worried that people are worried. God, when did I become such an empath. I am now realizing that when my mom was on her death bed and said to me that you are the most thoughtful person, she was right. She didn’t even know how right she would be. I wasn’t that thoughtful or what I thought was thoughtful at the time, I was loyal. As the years went by without her I have become the person she called at that moment though it wasn’t completely true yet, she knew I would turn out this way. I don’t care what people think of me, truly. I only care how they feel. I don’t want people to hurt for me. I’m not concerned with pity but more I whole heartedly don’t want them to feel pain. I’ve felt pain, true pain and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

My friends love me, the real me, no matter how much I keep distance or put up walls. I know they see through the cracks and still love me anyways. Maybe that could be why I am still around and can’t ever really give up. I know that though I am not perfect I am still loved. Why do I feel so alone still? They are there for me and I KNOW. I just can’t help but when I am surround by the people I love, I am happy but yet still feel so alone. Audrey Hepburn said I don’t want to be alone I just want to be left alone, or along the lines of some shit like that. Everyone left be to be alone when I needed it but then I pushed everyone further to the point where I became really alone.

Ignore my bouncing around because I am on a roll, okay? Maybe by the time I come back from wherever I go I’ll have it all figured out. HA I hope and I know you hope that for me too. My therapist awhile back said something to me that was oddly the biggest thing that stuck with me. Once I went through the whole background (if you’ve been to therapy you know what I mean) she said:

“You keep saying that people have it worse but you can’t forget to feel bad for yourself for the things you went through”

Fuck, right?

That’s why I am a little behind on everything, I am well aware. But now it’s a trait that is so fucking hard to break. I was never worried about comparing my life to someone else’s that had it better somehow comparing my life to people who had it worse has left me to not be sad, angry, confused or really any emotion for long. Even typing that reminds me that I used to only let myself cry on the bus ride home occasionally because for some reason being surrounded by people I didn’t know and know that wouldn’t bother me felt safe to feel. Majority of the time alcohol would be involved, duh, again not perfect. A few times I wouldn’t be able to gather myself together and everything I have literally ever felt, jeez my ancestors felt. Not to be dramatic but no joke that’s how it felt, a fucking tidal wave hitting me. I would call everyone I felt remotely comfortable to be slightly this person in front of, no one really experienced the full version except for Ashley. Its like how I feel now in a sense but with more emotion, I remember I couldn’t breath that’s what I would say over and over again to her. The difference is that I would cry then and right now I can’t, I feel nothing.

I’ve never done this before and reading the words back scare me but now that I have started I can’t stop. If this is the only insight a few have into my mind I am coming around to it, well getting there. I used to want to be a writer because I wanted one person to in the world to feel better that I wrote something that they related to. Long ago I stopped writing how I really felt because it became too hard. Not only is it hard to even admit but putting into words like this makes it more real. To be frank I wish I haven’t quit every job I’ve had in the last three months, I wish I didn’t need this beer I am drinking to be a little more honest, I wish I was in a different place then I am right now. You feel it too? Its not an unusual feeling. It’s my story though and don’t forget I was told to let me feel sorry for myself.

I don’t know if I am more afraid to go to sleep or wake up, lately its been a toss up. The dreams I have are so real I am unsure what real life is but then I remember and I can’t decided which I would rather live.

This is the most vulnerable I’ve ever been and I want to regret the things I say before they even come out, unfortunate for me I cannot stop the thoughts pouring from my head.

Right now I am scared to go to sleep. I am not desperately trying to catch my breath, which after six days is refreshing. I know I am going to wake up tomorrow feeling the way I have been regardless the bullshit I have put in my body.

Funny to think that I used to hide my writing from everyone, I still do in a sense. Who knows maybe I’ll be like Picasso and be appreciated long after I go.

 My chest hitches again but its not as hot and sticky as the other kind. Its fucking guilt. Taking another long sip of my espresso martini I try to shake the nerves. Probably not the best drink choice. I sit at a bar conveniently close to my gate at JFK the world literally continues to move around me. People pass by in a rush to another destination or maybe in a rush to be home. My phone rings and rings but I am not ready to confront my wrongs yet.

 Oddly refreshing that the first words out of my fathers mouth on that second dreaded call were “So what are you running from this time?” How did that guy get to know me so well. I’m silent for awhile reeling from the fact that he may actually know me after all and not ready to confront the truth he says so effortlessly out loud.

“I don’t know.” I let out in a long sigh.

“Yourself?” He questions quietly. I don’t reply. Forced to process words that I don’t let escape my mind let alone out of someone else’s lips. Would make sense why this running thing never seems to work for long.

“You know its going to follow you wherever you go, right?” He says matter of fact and it bothers me.

“Yeah, yeah I know.” I reply quickly hoping to bring this conversation to an end. After another dose of uncomfortable silence.

“It’s what I am good at dad, the only thing I’m good at. Running.” My voice is barley above a whisper not in fear of the words I’ve said but the fear of lingering ears.

 Fuck.

I sit on the floor outside of the gate as the people pass by in a slow march to board. Another wave of guilt washes over me. How could I think he would be upset with me? A part of me wishes that he was because it would have been easier to deal with than whatever the fuck I am left with now. Maybe I shouldn’t do this. The line gets smaller. Well, I’ve made it this far I’m getting on this flight.

 Of course I made a horrible decision. Justifiably in one of the most beautiful places but horrible nonetheless. I wake up fighting tears at thinking of all that has gone wrong and continues to go wrong. Was I stupid enough to think because I’m forcing a vacation I would get the refreshing feeling? Absolutely. Its 8:45AM in London as I sit in the Italian Gardens drinking an iced americano in 40 degree weather through a cardboard straw. No one to text, no one to call, no one to share a moment with. It feels like it should be peaceful as the freezing wind hits my face. Nothing but sounds of fountains gurgling and dogs at play in the park. Something still rumbles within, the peace feels far away though I am starring right at it. How do you begin to stop running from yourself when you can never escape it for a moment? I feel in some fucked up chemical biology that I will never stop running from myself until I feel the satisfaction of having a moment of peace from me. The sun hits my face and I’m hopeful for a brief moment, too soon the sun is back behind clouds and darkness rolls back in. Don’t you wish you that you could always feel the way you do when the sun hits your face? You tilt your chin up to get a better angle, take a deep breath and absorb the light. A calm comes over you that I couldn’t even attempt to explain, certainly worth harnessing or bottling for that matter.

I’d almost rather be alone completely than in a room full of people and feel alone. Drinking at 1PM seems more depressing with a hundred eyes on you. I mean it is Tuesday….and I am American. This is not a story I want to write anymore, it exhaust me.

You know how badly I just want to lock myself in my hotel room until its time to leave? Sadly enough to physically hurt when I walk the bends of the maze to leave my haven. The thing that gets me out isn’t “you aren’t home” or “take this opportunity to explore since you never know when you will be back”. People will say things like culture and finding yourself like they honestly know what they are talking about. I could be in some shitty run down motel on Pac highway and still feel the overwhelming need to barricade the door. The fact that I’m not seems to be the key in getting me out the door, even if it isn’t for very long.

I got a bit of pep in my step this morning. Could be that I’ve slid into a comfortable status now being here for a couple days. Could be that I’m leaving for Paris tomorrow. For now I’m going to just chalk it up to wearing my favorite nirvana shirt. My feet shake from the trains under me. I’m at some shitty café called Garfunkel’s and honestly I only came because of the name and now can’t stop playing America on a loop in my head while eating my undercooked eggs benedict. They do it better in the states I promise. London has given me an infatuation with guys that have one hoop earring, fuck I need to get to Paris quick.

Things will never be the same when I get back. Something about that makes me feel content though it’s a weighted mystery. London really is quite different when you aren’t underground.

In France they serve about a half pound of cheese just on the French onion soup. You won’t hear any complains from me. A part of me missies the UK but its not that I miss it whole heartedly but just miss familiarity. The moment the Eiffel Tower was within reach was the moment everything felt more real. I was a child again, arms rested on the window frame, eyes wide as the moon. Tears brimmed in happiness that didn’t last long enough. I wish my mom was here. I wish we got to experience this for the first time together. I wish she could of seen the things I’ve been able to see. Usually this isn’t much of a daily struggle but once you leave your bubble of hustle and bustle life continues to spin and continues to cycle the things that have been missing in front of your face. There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than to have the world continue to spin, funny how things change.

Though I’ve walked for miles and my feet ache Paris just makes me want to run like break out into full sprint and run. And not to run from anything for that matter, just to run. When I go out for dinner I get so distracted that I forget where I’m going and I keep walking. I want to breath this culture, I want to soak it in my bones and cleanse me. This is the culture I needed to set me free. As we drive further from the city I can’t help but feel a part of me is staying behind. Not exactly a piece of my soul but my heart. The most I smiled in months was in Paris and I wish I could forever be the person I was here.

[asleeg]

yet each man does not die, chapter one

My dearest, Lem,

I don't know if this will ever reach you. The post is not something I've ever had to rely on with any regularity; The closest I've ever come is the messages to and from Brandish's ships. But that was with birds, not people, and I'm afraid I would trust a Panther over a messenger any day. The people of Rosemarrow sigh over their letters in ways that do little to instill much trust, and most of the other immigrants will complain about how the snow and the darkness have cut them off from their old homes. The messengers do little to improve perceptions of themselves, giben that they are skinny things, half starved and feeble.

You've been gone for six moons now, three days by the old reckoning, and with the rise and fall of every one of them, I worry a little more. It is ridiculous of me, I agree, and you are probably laughing at me right now, with that flustered smile that I cannot help but adore on your face. You're well within your rights to laugh. We existed apart for decades before we met on that ship, and in the months that passed after our parting, we managed to survive just fine without each other.

But as odd as it might seem, saying goodbye to you was so much harder the second time. Meeting you was amazing and awful in equal parts, and seeing you again was even more so-- You rip the heart from my chest and yet I cannot keep you, a fact which is so fundamentally unfair that I cannot reconcile your absence in my mind.

My chest aches when I think of you, whispering excitedly about lost civilizations and running off on your foolish adventures with no one to temper your enthusiasm. Part of me believes that you should be here, or I should be there, even though I know it is better for us apart, and that no good would come of me following you to the ends of Hieron.

Perhaps the reason the thought of you plagues me so is that I am surrounded by reminders. The refugees from Velas have started to arrive, pushed out of the city by the news of Ordenna's approach, and they all seem to know your name.... 

There was a woman in Emmanuel's dining room.

Well, alright, the dining room wasn't quite his, and women had been in and out all day--

His brain kicked itself into a rather impressive restart.

Closing had come and gone with the fall of the first moon, and the second had begun to sink over the mountains just as Emmanuel had left the kitchen, holding loaves of day-old bread under his arm and sloppily untying his apron with his other hand.

It was the moonlight that gave her away, after all. It glinted against the strict pale of her air, and cast her shadow dramatically across the floor. She looked good in moonlight, Emmanuel thought, before shaking himself and reminding his brain that, wait, strange woman, and also, gay.

She looked up at him as his stride stumbled to a halt, and her eyes were half-lidded with exhaustion. Even through the fog, there was a glint of intelligence there that unsettled Emmanuel; He'd only ever met two people that smart, and one of them had been brutally murdered. The other was his idiot boyfriend, who had technically helped with the murdering, so, you know. 50/50.

As she studied him, and the silence stretched to a breaking point. Emmanuel shifted awkwardly under her gaze.

"Um." And that, unfortunately, was a Lem 'um', which struck Emmanuel as rather rich of his subconscious, given that they had yet to spend a full two days in each other's presence.  "We're closed, ma'am."

She sighed, a tired little sound that made him wince. It spoke of more than just a missing night's rest. That was bone deep, guilt and shame and duty, and he knew it all too well. "I'm not here for your bread, baker."

"Well, good." He placed a hand protectively on cold crust. "It's been claimed."

That seemed to amuse her. At least, she smiled, and her gaze drifted down to the bread before cutting back up to Emmanuel's face-- A little less tired, now, a little more keen. The wariness began to have a sharpness on Emmanue's tongue.

"Taking it to your friends at the camps?"

Emmanuel's shoulders rose like the proverbial hackles. Yes, he brought bread to the refugees from Nacre, but he always paid, and it would have only been thrown out, anyway. His owner had no quarrel with Emmanuel's "charitable leanings", and Emmanuel had hoped that was all it would ever be seen as. But it was only a short logical jump to 'he is one of Them', fake accent be damned, and Emmanuel wasn't going to pin his well-being on this particular woman's ability to 'look the other way'.

"Is there a problem?" Emmanuel asked, making sure his vowels were Velasian-tight.

The woman laughed. "I'm sorry, it's just that you sound ridiculous."

Emmanuel huffed, letting the unfamiliar syllables fall. "Who are you to tell me--"

"Darling," the woman said, and he heard it on her tongue, now. Something said she was letting him. "I would know. Leave it there."

Velasian, then. That made sense. Emmanuel hadn't planned to sell his (rather terrible) lie to any actual Velasians, but the Ordennans kept marching, and suddenly they were everywhere. Emmanuel's bread was running even more thin, lately.

"My accent isn't that bad." Lem had liked it, anyway.

She ignored his protests, anyway, instead letting her eyes drop back down to the bread. "Do you bring them food every night?"

"I'm sorry to be rude," Emmanuel said, not sorry at all, "but who are you?"

Her placid face did not so much as twitch. "I am Rosana, of Velas. Just a refugee, trying to get to know the town. That's all."

The settling of the Velasian refugees had troubled Emmanuel as he watched them approach over the hills just outside of Rosemerrow. It was hard to come by food and shelter for his own people as it was; competition would mean a lot of suffering, and if things got bad enough, a few actual deaths. The very thought was mind-boggling. Struggle for food was common in Nacre, so much so that a tour of duty as one of Brandish's pirateers was something of a rite of passage, but no one ever starved themselves to Tristero. It was barbaric.

Reality outside of Nacre, Emmanuel was starting to understand, was more than a little barbaric.

Emmanuel's unease wasn't settled afterwards, either-- The few of his kinsmen who had gotten employ since settling in Rosemerrow had gotten the absolute dredges of the city, or else lied their way to it, like Emmanuel had. The Velasians, while still not considered citizens, at least had the advantage of not carrying Tristero's Gift.

"You broke into my shop, Rosana of Velas. This is a very different place then where I'm from, but I don't really think that counts at sightseeing."

"Really?" Rosana leaned forward, propping her head on her hand. Her smile was sleepy and warm, in a way that made Emmanuel very, very afraid. "I can't think of anything more informative than seeing what the most dangerous man in town does when the darkness really settles."

Emmanuel's laughter was brief and hysterical, but sharp enough that the shadowy figures outside began to stir. "I'm not..." He wasn't sure when he had lost his breath, but it was certainly very far away from here.

Him, dangerous? He was just a baker! And, yes, he had once been a pirateer, but he'd been a, frankly, useless one, what with the barely being able to fight and falling head over heels with a charming terrorist. There were wizards and politicians and giant hyenas in this town, and Rosana, who looked like she could murder him without getting blood on her gown, thought he was dangerous?

Honestly, he felt a little faint.

For the first time since Emmanuel had laid eyes on her, Rosana seemed unsure of herself. Well, good, he thought sullenly. It was about time they were on the same page about something. Sad it had to be utter confusion, but, oh well. Common ground, and all that.

"I was told...." Rosana's voice dipped lower, as if to keep the nonexistent patrons from hearing. "I was told the leader of the Nacre refugees was a pirate."

"There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I don't even know where to begin," Emmanuel said, his indignation finally giving him his voice back.

"Try the ending; That would be novel."

Emmanuel drew himself up to his entire, not quite impressive, height. "First of all, I was not a pirate. I was a pirateer." Rosana didn't even need to ask the question, just looked at him, a little askance. Emmanuel sighed. "A pirate, but in service of the crown. I suppose. It's the honor of the thing, really."

"Honor," Rosana said, drawing the word out like she really wanted to relish in its awfulness. "Still. They were right, when they called you a pirate, then?"

"I wasn't the only one," Emmanuel said. He could hear the whine in his own voice; Suddenly he felt very much like when his mother had scolded him for sneaking fresh tarts and burning his fingertips on them. "There were loads of us, really. It was kind of a... military scholarship program."

Confusion settled on Rosana's face again. "I'm sorry?"

"Right, they don't have scholarships, anymore. Or tuitions. Or.... Universities." Emmanuel rocked back on his heels. "They, ah--"

Rosana raised a single, imperious hand, and Emmanuel ground to a halt. "I don't actually care why you did what you did, pirate." Emmanuel opened his mouth to protest, but the hand twitched, and he thought better of it. "I just want to speak to you on behalf of my people."

"Right." That had been his second quibble. "You know I'm not actually the leader of anything, right?"

He had hoped that he could at least confuse her a little more with his correction, but Rosana seemed unphased by the truth. If anything, she just looked even more smug. "And why do you think that, de Salle?"

"I--" Proving the universally accepted was far beyond Emmanuel's paygrade. "Because I'm not."

"And yet, when asked, almost every one of your people said they followed you." At Emmanuel's resulting floundering, Rosana's smile went a bit more gentle. "I'm afraid leadership isn't what it once was."

"Why would they...." Emmanuel's mind was overtaken by a long list of his own mistakes. "Why would they choose me?"

"It's not that simple. Rosemerrow is so eager to ignore the rest of Hieron, Emmanuel, and that gives them the power to pretend they will get the chance to choose their next leader. But the rest of Hieron, including your people, knows-- In times like these, leaders aren't chosen, and they certainly aren't born. They just are."

Emmanuel sighed. "That doesn't seem like a very stable form of government."

Rosana smirked, but her eyes, still so tired, held no mirth. "It's not a very stable world."

"Oh, well, that makes okay, then." Despite his protest, though, Emmanuel was already starting to resign himself to being Nacre's de facto representative. Perhaps that was why they had named him such; It was probably no secret that Emmanuel did not have much heart to deny his county, however fractured, anything.

And now he was going to be running it.

Fuck.

Rosana's dark eyes watched him approach the table she sat at. Emmanuel shuffled along on sore feet, and, after setting his staling bounty on the table, sank into the chair next to her. "Alright, so." He steeled himself for his next sentence. "What else do they say about this leader of theirs?"

He should have known to be suspicious when she tilted her head at him just so. "Only that you eloped with Lem King the night before he held your Queen down and watched his friend slit her throat."

Emmanuel choked. "That is not--"

"I know, dear." Rosana put a gentle hand on Emmanuel's wrist. "I've no end to the things I know about the Queenkiller's adventure, and I rather think Lem would have had a hard time keeping things to himself if he'd married a pirate."

Emmanuel stared at her unblinkingly for a moment, and then closed his eyes, briefly. "Next time, perhaps lead with the mutual friend, next time you pop out of the shadows."

"So he is just a friend, then?"

"Yes. No. We're not-- We're certainly not married. It's complicated." Talking about politics had been easier than talking about his love life. "He's just not here," Emmanuel finished, weakly.

Being married doesn't make the leaving any easier, I'm afraid," Rosana said. Her eyes shifted out of focus for a moment and Emmanuel shivered as she stared at something beyond him and his shop. After a moment, Rosana shook herself, and sighed. "I'm sorry. It's been a long year."

Emmanuel had to agree. A year ago, he didn't know the true reach of Ordenna, or that somewhere out there was an orc who would turn his entire world upside down. Nacre had been whole and thriving. He had been alive, truly alive.

A year ago, Hieron had been a whole other world.

"Are you... married to an Archivist?" Emmanuel asked, carefully.

Rosana laughed. "No, I made the unfortunate mistake of marrying a man of the church. But he's worked with Lem a time or two, and I've heard all the stories. They have the same soul, I think. Pigheaded and too damn trusting."

Emmanuel thought about Fero in a church and dismissed the thought before it could even form.

"I take it he's not with you now?"

Her mouth drew into a tight, thin line. "I didn't come here to talk about my marriage, Master La Salle."

"No," Emmanuel said. "You just came to talk about my hypothetical one."

Rosana didn't even have the propensity to look ashamed.

"I am at my wit's end, trying to provide for my people. You know what these people are like. What would you have me do?"

"Don't march in here, planning to use Lem against me, for one."

Rosana sighed. "I admit, that was... badly done of me." She shifted, her eyes sinking back into the shadows. "But my people are dying, La Salle. Even worse, sometimes they wake back up again. I need your knowledge. And, like it or not, you need us."

She was right.

Ordenna's influence had made Rosemerrow's cold shoulder even crueler, and the people of Nacre were shunned when they were not being hunted. The Velasians had the fortune of connection, and the unobtainable advantage of being 'uncursed'.

With a camp of Velasians at his back, Emmanuel would finally have the leverage to start integrating his people into Rosemerrow society, one by one. The tempation was undeniable.

But still, Nacre had been in isolation for a reason, and Emmanuel had been betrayed by his fair share of Velasians.

"And what exactly would you want in return?" Emmanuel sighed, and looked wryly at the stale bread on the table. "Old bread? Dead flesh?"

"You know things about the plague that I could not even conceive," Rosana said, her voice falling quieter. She, like the other mortal beings of Hieron, was not quite ready to speak of the undead so casually. "And your people still outnumber mine. Add that to your reputation..."

"Not this again," Emmanuel groaned, until Rosana cut him off with a laugh.

"Honestly is well and good, La Salle, but I need to teach you the value of a well-placed exaggeration."

Emmanuel thought, fondly, of Lem's voice, spinning wilde tales out of nothing but a vague suggestion. Emmanuel knew the value, but he couldn't imagine he'd ever have Lem's talent for it.

Or, apparently, Rosana's.

"So that's it, then? You save my people from the leprosy of Adelaide's gift, and I become your cursed pirate king?"

Rosana shrugged, her pale hair cascading around her shoulders. "That's about it, yeah."

Politics were so confusing.

"Fine." Emmanuel sighed. "Where do we start?"

#lemmanuel #friends at the table #yemdnd #it's finished!!!! it's fucking finished!!!!!!!!! #now for chapter two........

[ruebird]

1/2 Sorry for askbox venting but I've seen ur previous salt asks and VLD art so I guess you'd understand. I used to love the idea of Oracle!Prompto but now I hate most AUs with it now cuz they're all super unoriginal and just exist to C&P Prompto into Luna's role with purely superficial changes, usually to make Promp/tis "canon". I LIKE Promp/tis. But other O!Prompto ships are nonexistent. Besides one pretty good Prompt/yx pic. I get having issues with Luna and Lu/noct. It's not well written.

2/2 But if ur gonna bash it and Luna for being (hetero)sexist while supporting O!Prompto AUs that recycle the EXACT SAME dynamics you claim to hate (or all the Nif Prince!Prompto AUs which only SLIGHTLY less transparently do the same shit) then it's clear ur fine with bad writing and sexist tropes you just don't like that Luna is an icky female in the way of ur gay OTP. Which is friggin' sexist. It's the same shit as C&Ping Allura with near-identical Altean!Lance for gay fetishization purposes.

i can agree with this, yeah!

i’m not all that into romantic l/unoct either, though i’ve grown to be much more appreciative of their romance recently. i love luna, and i love the importance of luna’s role (though it absolutely, definitely should have been handled way better in canon) -- but i also really like oracle noctis AUs. i find them super interesting, and i dig the king/oracle concept. it’s super cool!! and i enjoy seeing writers tackle it in ways that canon didn’t.

but i like oracle noctis because in those AUs luna is almost always given noct’s canon role in return, as chosen king (or queen, in this case). her importance isn't diminished. she isn’t erased or removed from the plot. the hierarchy switch here is reasonably equal.

with oracle AUs where another character is handed the oracle plot device while noct retains his chosen king role, it does kinda make luna’s importance sorta???? weakened?? with AUs like this i definitely prefer character hierarchies to remain somewhat the same as in canon, yunno?

AND LIKE this isn’t just a prompto issue. if someone came along with an oracle ignis AU where luna was just brushed off to the side or erased completely while noct retains his chosen king status, i wouldn’t be interested in reading it even though im a die-hard ignoct person. additionally, this kind of AU would also remove a big part of the ignoct dynamic that has me hooked on the ship, sooooo hey.

but each to their own! people can and will produce whatever content they want and im all for that freedom, some of it just isn’t my thing and i won’t engage in it. i do think it’s a big shame to knock female characters from what importance they have (ESPECIALLY in male character dominated media like ffxv and voltron) in order to boost the plot hierarchy of a male character that just happens to have more fans though. that’s sad! that makes me sad.

#Anonymous