#my new year's resolution is to figure out how to take it fucking easy lmao
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2021 writing goals
i wasn’t sure if i was gonna make this in a public post but i really like reading other peoples 👁️ and also i have the biggest habit of writing yearly goals and immediately forgetting where they are so maybe it’ll help to have it on the blog
i’m not a huge goal person but i’m also not really “anti-goals”? it’s more i don’t work well with goals in the sense of like i need to do this One Thing so i can check it off a list, i prefer to frame them as intentions and be patient with myself which is! always so important but especially after this year. a lot of these are very vague because they are literally just intentions and things i’d like to grow on, what we are NOT gonna do in 2021 is put pressure on ourselves with no reason 🤩
draft church mud (??)
i don’t have any specific goals or deadlines for this, i just want to keep the drafting momentum and see where it takes me! i’m having a lot of fun with it and i high key do Not want the drafting process to end lmao so i’d be happy to be drafting all year but i could see myself finishing it in the right circumstances. at the moment though i’m just very content with watching it grow and getting to share that journey
i would also like to come up with a new title for it because i cannot express how much CM (the way i always use the abbreviation 😭) was meant to be a working title and now it’s been 6 months and it’s the bane of my writing existence!!!
write and submit short stories!!!
this is my main ~professional~ goal because i feel very ready to submit!! i do have a rejection goal i’m just not set on a number until i know how much i’m going to actually be submitting which is up in the air when you are mentally ill and also don’t have the money for submission fees <3 but it took a long time to get my relationship with my writing to the point where i felt secure in putting myself out there like that so i’m very excited to start that chapter of my writing journey i am DREAMING of that first personalised rejection 🤩
as for short stories i just want to keep continuously writing them and see how my collection grows with each one. i have the very floaty goal of 12 so i can say i wrote one every month but 2020 taught me that life comes at you first and sometimes entire months get written off so, i’d like to do that but i’m not going to count on it (at least i will brainstorm 12 short stories, likely more than that, which is enough for me!)
brainstorm the other novels
this is less of a goal and more like. i have 3?? 4??? baby novel ideas in my head and i’m very excited to see how they grow over the course of the year so! i hope i figure them out! they are all in that pre planning stage where i need the idea to like marinate in my head for months but i do love that part. i don’t have any drafting plans really because i can’t predict when the ideas with click for me, i’d just like to know what i’m doing by the end of the year lol. the ideas currently are:
patchwork but it’s on its 3rd reboot of the year, iconic of her
from the writer who literally overthinks and stresses over what weather san francisco had IRL on a specific day in 1986 when drafting CM, i give you: What If I Wrote A Historical Novel
ghosts??? and snow???
noir but i take out all the parts of noir i hate even if they are fundamentals of the genre
write a chapbook and show it to nobody
i’ve talked about this a bit before but i realised this year that as much as i love my degree and lit analyse only ever looking at poems analytically really fucked up my relationship with enjoying poetry. i’m still working on reading poetry for the sake of enjoying it without necessarily picking it apart to “understand” it, but i found that writing poetry has really helped my relationship with the form because i give myself literally no pressure. like my poetry probably sucks but i don’t care because it’s only for me! as much as i love seeing my prose improve and working hard towards that, it has been really refreshing to write in a form with no consideration for skill/technique/improvement. poetry is very personal and cathartic to me so i’m very protective of it. i’ve only really dabbled in it though so i’d like to progress with it regardless and i think a shitty chapbook for nobody but myself would be a very fun project
read intentionally
every year i’ve tried the read x books resolution which i’m sure is a mood! and i never reach the goal!! i struggle a lot with reading due to mental illness and neurodivergence but i have been getting better at this year and i’m also more aware of the things i actually want to read which does make it easy. i have no specific goal, i would just generally like to read more this year and read books i like!!! however i also want to be considerate with how i go about that, i used to waste a lot of money on books so i’d like to a) limit that and only shop second hand/independent and b) use the library more/donate the books i’m not gonna read/don’t plan to reread
this year taught me to have literally no high hopes for 2021, but the one hope i have is that i can grow on the things i’ve succeeded at this year!
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you. [tom holland] - three.
PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader
SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.
WARNINGS: mostly swearing! mentions of alcohol! a bit of fluff, a bit of angst. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish!
WORD COUNT: 1632
SONG INSPO: our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued - fall out boy
A/N: aaah, hello babes! i have been writing a lot since the new year ngl, it is so refreshing to just write and not stress about stuff. although that’ll change as i head back to university tomorrow [technically today lmao] and face a shit ton of papers and readings!!! anyways, happy reading and enjoy part three!
gif credits @peteparkrrs
vanessa’s masterlist | preview | one | two | four | five | six | seven | eight | eight.5 [interview excerpt]
“Why, I found a solution to your problems, my dears.” Zoë smiled, almost too sickly.
You were starting to get anxious. Is it your manager or is it because of the coffee? Probably both.
You waited for her to continue and what she said afterwards almost made you spat your drink.
“You and Tom will fake-date for damage control,” Zoë said as if it was the most obvious solution.
“I’m sorry, what?” You asked, practically choking on your drink. Has she gone mad?!
“You,” Your manager pointed at you “and Tom” She then gestured to the devil sitting beside you “will be acting as a fake couple.”
“God, please tell me this is just a horrible dream.” You practically begged as you closed your eyes, trying to convince yourself that you’re just asleep and this, whatever this is, will be over as soon as you open your eyes.
“How did you two end up to this conclusion, may I ask?” Tom asked, equally appalled at the resolution that was dropped in front of you two.
“It’s the only thing that made sense after the theatrics that you two pulled,” Matthew spoke up. “Setting the illusion that you two are secretly dating and got into a small fight last night, which ended up with Y/N pouring her drink on Tom.”
“That was a small fight? What if we had a big one?” Tom scoffed “Will she kill me then?”
You smirked at him. “Why, that’s the first thing that I liked from all of the nonsense you just said.”
Tom rolled his eyes at you. “I still don’t see how dating for publicity solves what happened last night,” Tom spoke up, in which you had to agree. None of it made sense after all.
“Then how exactly are you two going to explain the scene from last night?” Zoë asked with her arms crossed.
“I’ll be glad to confirm to the world that Tom Holland is an asshole since he called me a leech,” You said almost nonchalantly. People were starting to paint Tom as the bad guy in the narrative, and all four you were aware of it.
“No one will be telling anything,” Tom jeered. “No one will be telling anything because it’s none of their business. They shouldn’t care about these things in the first place.”
“Hate to break it to ‘ya, bud, but see this?” You showed him your phone, the screen showing Twitter’s trending tab and there it showed over a hundred thousand tweets about you two. “People made it already their business.”
Tom massaged his temples. “What, are you on board with this idea now?”
“Fuck no,” You hissed. “As much as I hate to say this but Holland’s right, we don’t have to anything about this.”
“You two don’t have a choice,” Matthew commented. “If you two chose to disregard this, the people wouldn’t let this go. It will always be asked in interviews, they would only speculate more.”
“God, why did you even go to that specific club.” You grumbled at Tom. “Of all clubs in Los Angeles.”
“Why are you putting this on me? None of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you!” Tom argued.
“I wouldn’t have done what I did if it wasn’t for your stupid mouth!” You were fuming.
“Look, it’s a win-win for both of you. Tom will clear up his image by giving an impression of how your little couple’s argument escalated. As for Y/N, she’ll be receiving a lot of publicity for this. It’s good for a rising-star to have this much publicity.” Zoë proclaimed.
“Jesus, you really are a leech,” Tom mumbled under his breath. However, you still caught it.
“Call me that one more time and I swear you’ll be going home with not only ruined clothes but also with a bruise on your precious face.” You threatened, narrowing your eyes at him.
“So it’s settled then?” Matthew asked, “You two are going to do it?”
Tom just shrugged, probably defeated knowing he won’t stand a chance in this argument. He does have this reputation to uphold and he’s not going to let someone ruin it.
You, however, felt too brave. You shook your head no and said, “You can’t make me.”
Zoë raised her eyebrow at you, taking it as a challenge. “Try me.”
“Remember to hold hands, kids!” Zoë said giddily as she waved goodbye.
“I am going to kill her,” You gritted in between your teeth as you left the building with the devil quickly fixing his hair.
“I might actually take you up on that and add my manager into the mix,” Tom grumbled and adjusted his shirt. Tom decided to leave his jacket at the office and figured that a white shirt paired with denim pants was enough. He claims that he looks toned down and his outfit is so casual that people might not notice him.
You begged to differ. Even if he is just wearing a plain shirt and the most basic denim pants, Tom will still attract people’s attention. The fabric of his shirt clung to his body like second skin. It shows how fit he is and you weren’t one to deny that.
No matter how little effort Tom puts in regards to dressing himself, he still looked good. That annoyed you.
“Okay, so the first thing to get this ship sailing-” Zoë stopped and turned to Matthew, “Hah, get it, Matt? I learned it from the internet. Apparently, a ‘ship’ is slang for relationship.” She raved.
“Oh, that’s sick.” Matthew agreed.
You let out a huge groan. “God, it’s like watching my parents learn internet lingo all over again.” Not to mention having flashbacks of your early internet days, stumbling over Tumblr with ‘Destiel’ mentioned everywhere. What a time.
Tom, on the other hand, had his face buried in his hand. He seemed like he was equally embarrassed and frustrated with this entire situation.
“You two are going to have lunch together at this newly opened restaurant. It’s not far from here, don’t worry.” Zoë stated. She mentioned the name of the place, also adding the fact that you and Tom had to walk there.
“You want us to walk?! This whole area is crawling with paparazzi.” Tom noted.
“You two will be fine, they can’t hurt you.” Zoë dismissed you two.
“The restaurant is a couple of blocks away,” You pointed out after searching the place on Google maps.
“See it as a quick exercise,” Matthew implored. “You two are young, you’ll manage.”
So here are you both now. You were walking with a complete asshole, who’s apparently now your boyfriend, on the way to this restaurant and waiting to be devoured by paparazzi.
It was a quiet walk if you two were being honest. You expected more irritating remarks from Tom and you were ready to give out your snarkiest replies, however, you two were now walking in silence.
It was actually a nice day in Los Angeles. It wasn’t too hot and humid, unlike most days. It wasn’t also that busy in the streets, which is odd, you thought. The day was perfect-too perfect.
Well, it was until you saw a man with a camera hiding behind one of the parked cars along the street.
Tom seemed to take notice of the figure you just saw and put on a neutral face. “It’s showtime,” Tom said under his breath, loud enough for you two to hear.
You two were walking alongside each other with close proximity, yes, but you weren’t going to hold hands. As much as to Zoë’s dismay, you thought and restraining yourself from rolling your eyes.
You could hear the clicks of the camera and with every step, it seemed like the number of clicks multiplied. It only made you feel uneasy, you felt your chest tightening.
You suddenly wished that you never agreed to this, no matter how much they pressured you. You didn’t mind your state of fame before. A handful of people recognize you from the Sci-Fi Thriller, Alchemist. You were also known for your Twitter and how you absolutely gave no fucks with whatever you tweet. Zoë had a problem with that before, but she just let it go since your account says a lot about your personality.
However, none of that bothered you. You liked that people recognized you but still managed to get on with your life without getting disrupted.
Tom glanced at you, noticing how you seemed like you were out of it. He could sense that you were taking deeper breaths than you did before. He frowned, Is she not used to this? Tom wondered. He carefully thought of what to do and just mumbled “Oh, fuck it,” and reached for your hand.
It caught you off-guard. Oh boy, did you react so rashly.
“What the hell are you doing, Holland?” You asked as you yanked your hand back.
“I’m trying to help you,” He grumbled as he took your hand again, holding it firmly this time. “You looked like you were about to have a panic attack. I figured you’d rather have your attention somewhere else.”
“What if people see and-”
“And what?” Tom cut you off, “They assume that we’re dating? Aren’t we supposed to be, princess?”
You weren’t expecting Tom to wrap his hand around yours nor did you expect him to help you ease your nerves down, so you ended up staring at him. You were trying to figure out what kind of stunt is he trying to pull now.
He turned his attention to you, his brows knitted slightly. “Why are you staring, princess?” He chuckled softly, amused at the confusion painted on your face.
What are you trying to do, Holland? You thought.
TAG LIST: @thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @sectusempried @gothicwidowsworld @heartofholland
#tom holland imagine#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland fluff#tom holland fic#tom holland fanfic#tom holland blurb#tom holland and reader#tom holland angst#tom holland imagines#tom holland x y/n#tom holland au#tom holland and you#tom holland and y/n#tom holland x you#the girl writes i guess#txmhoellandwrites
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What Now? (p1)
where andrew and neil are single dads and their kids hate each other.
Neil hated the administrators. They sat at the front desk and looked up at him with enormous eyes, eyelashes fluttering as they asked: “What’cha lookin’ for, hon?” She smiled, almost beseechingly, as she stood. “Tour? I can show you around.”
“Actually,” He cleared his throat, pulling his sleeves down. “I’m here for Robin.”
The woman’s face turned sour, though she did her best to remain neutral “Right. You said you would be here a half hour ago, Mr Josten. The others have been waiting. Take a seat, I’ll let Headmaster Boyd know.”
I’m sorry, Neil wanted to snap. That some stupid kid has managed to aggravate Robin and that I’m a full-time working single father. Jesus Christ, people were shallow.
He dropped into a plastic chair, straightening his shirt again. His hair was still a little damp after his 30-second shower: Convincing his coach to leave practise early was never easy, but he was one of the few teammates with a kid. And the only one of that small group who parented alone. He probably had a few more concessions than the rest, but he couldn’t afford to spend them on shit like this.
Opposite him was a broad-shouldered man, staring at him. Unimpressed. Did he recognise Neil? He hoped not. He wasn’t in the mood for a facade. The staring continued. Neil elected to ignore him in favour of looking at the ceiling.
When Robin was shuffled out by her classroom teacher, Danielle Wilds, she gave Neil a sheepish look. He stood up and offered his hand, which she let rest on her head. Touch was still incredibly unfamiliar to both of them. “What’s this all about, Robin?”
She pointed to the bruise on her jaw. “I pushed him after he called me bad things. Then he punched me back!”
Neil glowered. It didn’t explain why his adoptive daughter was getting in trouble. She could sense that he knew she was omitting details of the story, and hid behind his hip as they followed Danielle Wilds down the hall.
Behind them, the blond man stood. He was shorter than Neil - a feat in itself, really - but it was as though Neil could feel needles stabbing into the back of his skull. He took Robin by the hand as he lead her into the headmaster’s office, and immediately observed his surroundings: The enormous glass window looking out over the school’s courtyard, where kids were dressed for phys-ed and playing with skipping ropes, the mahogany desk, the shelves of books, the trophies and certificates of achievement on the walls. Boyd had a picture of a young girl with wild, curly hair by his computer. The man in question was sitting relaxedly in his chair, tattoos visible through the white button-down, his cuffs loose and rolled to mid-forearm. His hair was spiked with gel, and
There was a young boy, sitting opposite him. He had black hair and green eyes, looking nothing like the blond man who sat next to him. The son was probably getting close to his father’s height. Both of them wore distasteful sneers. Like father like son, Neil supposed.
“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Neil asked, when there had been too many moments of frigid silence. “Robin? Anyone? I’d like to know exactly why I’m here.”
“I’m sorry, Mr Josten --”
“Neil.”
“Neil.” Boyd cleared his throat. “Robin and Kevin have been having some serious disagreements over the past few weeks. Neither seem willing to compromise, or come to an impasse. We usually like to guide students to conflict resolution, but this is getting out of hand. Isn’t it, Kevin?” He looked at the boy. “Robin?” Neil’s daughter withered under his look of disappointment.
They both pointed at each other. “They started it!”
“Kevin always tells me that I’m dumb and get all the answers wrong.” Robin wailed. “And he hides my pencils!”
“Robin scribbled in my maths scrapbook.” Kevin huffed. “Then she hid my completed spelling homework --”
“Wasn’t me!”
“And then she put grapes in the bottom of my bag, and they’re all squishy!”
“Are you sure that your own grapes didn’t spill, Kevin?” His father implored.
“You’re very good at losing pencils, Robin.” Neil shook his head. “Maybe you’ve lost them?”
“No!” Both of them cried.
Momentarily, Neil looked to the other father, and recognised the look of pure frustration furrowing the man’s brows.
Boyd rested his elbows on his desk, clasping his fingers beneath his chin. “But is that why we’re here today?”
Both of the children quietened.
“What the supervising teacher told me was that she saw Robin push Kevin, who hit her on the face.” He gestured to the bruise on Robin’s chin. “The other children said that Kevin was calling her names. I would like to reiterate that there is a strict, no-violence policy at this school, and would like you both to go home and think about the way you have behaved. Neil, Andrew: You should help them reflect and compose apology letters to one another. I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.”
Andrew glared daggers, standing abruptly and ushering his son out the door. Neil grabbed Robin by the shoulder and dragged her out.
When they caught up to the other pair, Neil sniped: “Really appreciated being dragged in here, thanks.”
“Maybe butchering is a hereditary thing, hm?” Andrew examined his car-keys. They were sleek, an expensive model that Neil couldn’t possibly name. “Such a shame.”
Neil fumed. Sensing Neil’s irritation, Andrew turned a blank look on him; Neil wondered how someone with such a void-like gaze could be a parent.
“Let’s go home.” He murmured. Robin tucked herself into Neil’s side and they hurried out of the administration building together.
Here’s how it goes:
Neil was almost 24, and coached Exy teams in Couth Carolina’s little league. He’d got out of his family’s criminal history through his Exy scholarship, but never taken it further. He hadn’t even really liked kids, but it was something to do.
Then, because Neil’s tragic existence seemed to be catastrophic for those around him, a car t-boned into a van outside his apartment. Neil, always running in the early hours of the morning, immediately rushed over. The sedan’s driver was a crumpled heap, blood splattered across the windscreen -- he most likely dead, so Neil ignored him. But there were screams coming from the back of the van, so he yanked the damaged door open.
Bruised and bleeding, curled into the corner of the van, was Robin. She was thrown into the foster system as an infant, and was then kidnapped at the age of three. No one cared about a foster kid going missing. Her missing person’s file was practically non-existent, especially after 2 years. Robin had clambered into his arms as he pulled her out of the back of that van, and he hasn’t had a full night’s sleep since.
Four years later, he’d set up a scholarship program in the little league, his daughter was making enemies at her new school, and Neil still didn’t regret a thing.
Andrew sat in the car and thought about the best way to approach this. For Kevin’s sake, he would be a role-model. But every inch of that Josten had him wanting to clench his fists. Of course he knew of him: Exy had gotten him through college. The Josten scandal was everywhere: Leaving the Ravens for the Trojans, Jean Moreau quickly following suit, the Butcher of Baltimore, the Moriyamas, the FBI; Then, settling down to coach kids. That drama had to be almost a decade ago, though. Didn’t matter. Exy had never mattered to Andrew. His degree had also been second thought: His occupation was satisfying, but never thrilling.
Having a kid, though. Jesus.
Kevin was a handful and a half. He was brimming with energy and emotion, repressed anger and competitiveness creating a volatile reaction to most situations. Andrew had taken Kevin in after his mother’s death, his old exy coach, Wymack, being the father but being unable to, you know. Father.
Andrew didn’t understand how the fuck he was meant to be any better.
“I’m sorry, Andrew.” Kevin didn’t look that apologetic. “She’s just super annoying! And she wouldn’t shut up about how her dad’s team is the best, and she loves her dad, and he’s the best, and how she’s going to play Exy too. Exy, exy, exy. All the time! It drives me insane! She talks so loudly, too. And so much. She never shuts up.”
Andrew could read his son. “Usually people aren’t this successful at getting under your skin, Kevin.”
“I hate her!” He frowned, his lips puckering. It was stupidly adorable. Andrew hated the word adorable. “I really do, you know. She’s always teasing me about liking history and reading my books. She can’t even do maths!”
“Remember what I tell you, Kevin.” Andrew switched on the ignition and swerved out of his car-parking space. He searched for the flash of an expensive sportscar, of which would be presumedly Neil’s, but he couldn’t find one.
“Be the better person so you can shove their own failures up their asses, I know.” Kevin drew his feet onto the dashboard but Andrew swatted them down.
“No feet on the dashboard.” He pointed at Kevin but the brat pushed his hand away, promptly sticking out his tongue.
God, why did he decide to have kids?
Oh yeah. He didn’t. Right.
(Still didn’t believe in regret, though.)
i hope this made sense!
i just think itd be hilarious lmao imagine seeing a parent in the lobby and be like damn and then figure out that their kid and your kid hate each other
#andreil#super cute#this is just silly#dad!neil#dad!andrew#single parent au#child!robin#child!kevin#andrew minyard#neil josten#children#child au#adoption#this is cuuute#all for the game#the foxhole court#kevin day#fluffy#jem writes
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Hello!!! I am so sorry for not messaging you all day! This is the first time I’ve had a moment to sit down and relax all day! All I could think about the entire day was “I haven’t messaged my secret Santa yet. I NEED TO RIGHT NOW.” That was my main concern this whole day lol. Forgive me for messaging you so late. Today has been hectic and I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I know messaging you will for sure put me in a better mood! I don’t know how to make new friends either. How do people do it?! (1)
Especially when you’re not in school anymore. That just makes it so much harder. The only people I see are my coworkers, where else am I going to make friends?! Where do people go to make friends??? I also feel like I’m bothering people. It’s such a scary feeling. Especially trying to come up with conversation. I always feel like I’m boring people to death. I miss the intimacy of talking to people too. I’m the exact same way as you, I have to force myself to talk to people — (2)
but as soon as I do I feel better and I feel fine about it. It’s just like, the initial push that’s hard. That is another great New Years resolutions! It is important to allow yourself to enjoy things. Also it’s equally as important to not mistake that for selfishness. Sometimes there’s that fine line between self care and selfishness, well, there’s actually no line, people created that line and try to make others feel guilty about it. Im not even sure what I’m trying to say anymore lol. (3)
it’s okay!!!! and thats sounds stressing lol. no need to worry, end of the year is a busy time. and also time zones. i can’t do math but i sure take my time to answer you as well
i think the secret of making friends might be having confidence?????? so i’m fucked lmao. but really, i also don’t know where i’m supposed to go to meet people, specially because my favorite way to hang out is so lowkey. if i don’t even like to go out in the first place going out to make friends sounds kinda pointless, because i won’t want to go out with them after all. i really like people, but in a lets-stay-inside kind of way. won’t people be bored????? what do adults even do??? after trust and intimacy it’s really easy, but getting there seems impossible. it’s not tho, i guess we just need to figure it out. we did it as kids! it should get easier, not harder
no listen i totally get that. putting yourself first means putting everything else second and i get how that can sound selfish but also. you are the only person that spends 100% of time with yourself. you are you all the time. if that’s not worth prioritizing than whats is? and maybe it is selfish but but its also needed
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Hello, yes, hi, I recently found your art and account and I love what you do. I'm turning 14 in April and I've asked for a drawing pad, but I have no idea how to use one as of yet. Have you got any tips or anything? Because I've wanted to try digital art for a while and your art makes me want to even more lmao. Thanks! - B.A.
BOI OH BOI DO I GOT SOME TIPS FOR U
(I’m not sure what kind of comp you’re going to be using, so I’ll list for both.)
FIRST: Drawing Programs; the free and the great.
-Firealpaca: Lightweight drawing program. I draw Recovery using this! It’s easy on the RAM if you have a weak comp/are paranoid about yours like I am, it is mainly for basic comic making, and has all the basic brushes you need (pen/pencil/airbrush/symmetry/etc). You can add your own brushes as well but they’re p basic settings. Has basic Animation/Gif making as well using Onion Mode! Layout is a piece of cake. Please note that If you leave it open for a week it’ll crash on you, even if you haven’t anything on it at the moment, and sometimes the brush sensitivity just stops working so you just have to close and then open it again. (Also I have no idea how to update it aside from deleting it completely and just downloading the new version from scratch, so thats a thing.) Mac/Windows
-MedibangPaint: This is basically FireAlpaca But Better. Has tons of screen tones, brush patterns, and tools. I don’t use it much because I’m used to FA’s layout and get confused with the the placement of tools in here, so if you can I highly suggest just going with this first. Also has basic animation/gif making! Has storage for the website as well, and you can upload more preset brushes. It’s v anime. This program has waaay more in terms of basically everything, so it just takes more RAM. NBD, you don’t have to have every brush downloaded from the storage ^u^. Mac/Windows
-Clip Studio Paint: Okay this one isn’t free, it’s a pricey one, HOWEVER once a year they take the price way fuckin down by at least 75%. Sign up for the email list and it’ll let you know when that precious day comes. It’s how I got it @u@, around christmastime? This program is basically MedibangPaint On Steroids. I do all of my digital-yet-tradition-style-painting on here! The brushes all have some neat af settings to play with, you can make your own brushes, has tons of screen tones, pre-made panels, and settings. You can save projects as basically anything you need, is a hardy program that almost never crashes, and It’ll take a nice chunk of space on your comp depending on how much memory you have but hey, its worth it. It’s much more complex layout-wise than the other two here, but you get used to it after playing around and watching tutorials haha.
-Mischief: It’s a 25$ app, has like four brushes and five layers only but is vector-based with an endless canvas. Not really worth having unless you like the vector thing. UP TO YOU. I spent forever with this one doing all that homestuck stuff, so it’s not really bad so much as it is a basic bitch. Mac
-MyPaint: I used this a bunch when I still did digital art on my windows laptop before I upgraded to a Mac. It’s easy on the comp and has plenty of brushes and settings. You can also get brush packages if you don’t feel like you have enough that comes with the program! Also has endless canvas; pretty sure you can just select an area and then export as is. I barely remember the rest but It’s pretty great. Windows/MacPorts(which I hate)
-GIMP: I hate this thing. I cannot figure it out for the life of me. It’s got loads of shit though, can handle layers, has plenty of brushes, and can do basic animation/gifs if you ever figure it out. Windows/mac
I’ve heard good things from paint tool SAI and Krita as well, but have never used them myself.
***You can always pay through the nose/use a student discount for the photoshop series and pay that shit monthly, those fuckers have literally everything, but I am a cheap college kid making minimum wage with a car payment; I’d rather just pay once/not at all.
TABLETS: treat that shit like a newborn babe 24/7
-I have literally only ever owned a Wacom Intuos4. It has lasted me six years, and at least five moves across many miles. I broke one of the cord ports the day I opened it by holding it wrong, have one left, and now treat it like it’s going to die if the cord moves badly. Please be aware that if you break both ports, you better either sodder it back together yourself or upgrade to smth else because it costs about as much as the tablet itself was bought at to be fixed. Good news, though, it comes with at least six extra pen nibs, has programable buttons on the side (that I have never bothered to use) and a scroll bar in case you’re too lazy to use the keyboard (…I don’t really use that either unless I’m just scrolling through tumblr LMFAO).
-I would die for a Cintiq.
HOT TIPS: its useful.
-most of the programs listed use the same keyboard shortcuts. MEMORIZE THEM. It’s pretty easy, since you’ll use em a lot. [cntrl/cmmd+T] lets you resize what you just drew on that layer, and [cntrl/cmmd+z] is undo. I use those the most, for obvious reasons.
-vector-based programs are pretty great because when you resize an image it looks prefect. You can’t do that with a program that isn’t, so I just resize the base roughdraft and draw the lineart again on the layer above so I don’t get weird JPEG quality lines.
-You can use a ruler with your tablet, just slap it on and go, but honestly most programs have settings for that. just use those.
-You can also trace stuff on your tablet, so long as the paper isn’t too thick. I just scan/take a photo and then open it up in the program, though. much easier.
-SAVE CONSTANTLY. Art programs like to crash on you, even when they’re hardy and you have a good comp. make it a habit to quick save your work.
-Use a desk and have good posture. You’ll be able to draw a hell of a lot longer if you do. I personally keep fucking up my knees by sitting on my legs as I work out of habit, and don’t actually have a desk chair. Keep your screen at eye level and at a fair distance to prevent eyestrain and also neck-strain haha
-Chances are you won’t be used to the tablet right away. Most places you buy from say it’ll take a couple of months to get used to how weird it is to draw while not looking at your own hand, so don’t be frustrated If your drawings look a bit off at first.
-if you draw at least one thing every day, by the end of the year you’ll have improved exponentially. I literally made this blog to make myself draw once a day.
-don’t be afraid to check out speedpaints and tutorials. It’s always good to get more familiar with the program you’re using and new techniques previously unconsidered.
-get familiar with clipping layers. They are insanely useful; you clip one layer to the one below and then when you draw it only shows up on the drawing of that layer below. Shit is a godsend if you’re bad at coloring in the lines/lazy. The bucket tool is also really useful, and you can adjust the expansion by pixel so you don’t miss anything between the lines.
-experiment with your brushes, shit be fun af
-warmup your wrists before and after drawing. prevent swollen veins and such. dont want hand pain/numbness, its reaaaaally bad.
—basically if your hands hurt stop for the day.
-PNGS are for internet, JPEGS are for printing/fucking with quality (cough hack homestuck)
-resolution doesn’t have to be much more than 350 dpi if its just going to be on a webpage. Maximize that shit if you’re going to be printing, though. Especially if you put stuff on redbubble.
-DeviantArt has this thing called Sta.sh where you can dump art, keep it in perfect quality and just share it with certain people with a link instead of all of the website. Great for storing commission pieces, its the only reason I have DA in the first place.
-you get a different audience depending on what site you use for posting art, so keep that in mind for the kind of feedback you want.
-after awhile of drawing using a tablet, you may lose patience/forget that in traditional art there isn’t an undo button lmfao It’s cool; you don’t have to choose one over the other or anything.
-Honestly you can work around almost anything. You just invent new ways and techniques for yourself and you’ll do just fine.
Aaaaand that’s all I got for today! Thanks for sticking around
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2019 Goals
Am I supposed to be writing right now and instead procrastinating by penning a blog under the guise of “lubing up” my writing chops so I can be ready to write what I need to write today?
Little Mix voice: Hell Yeah I Am!
(Dances to Joan of Arc for three times.)
Anyway, here are my goals for this year and they’re way more than I thought they would be, so I categorized them:
Health Goals
1. Lose 10 inches from my waistline by the end of the year.
5 inches by June
5 inches by December
I went buckwild with the whole “goals need to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound” thing. I’m not remotely fucking around this year. I’ve deleted my Tinder and Grindr. Literally no Fucking Around. Also, got no time for men.
This is definitely something I’m gonna struggle with. I’m already not exercising and I’m losing days, but there is still the next day and the next day. Can’t be losing all those inches within a week. That would be unhealthy and I’m not about that. I’m not gonna lose weight just for the sole purpose of being pretty or so I can fit in my fucking clothes. I’m turning 25 this year. I don’t want to grow up regretting all the shitty food I’ve been eating and then paying for it in medical bills. No sir. I will not be a miserable old fuck who can’t walk around or climb stairs. I wanna be a miserable old fuck who CAN.
I can already feel my hypertension acting up again and I’d rather not freak my mom out about it. I need to lose weight, and that’s not just society talking.
2. Learn to cool 6 vegan meals (not snacks)
Again, I’m doing this thing where I need to be healthy. Also, I need to do this thing where I learn some actual domestic skills because growing up all comfortable with maids is not helpful anymore. I need to shape up and get some adult points. Can’t be level 5 adult forever.
This means I need to learn 1 meal per two months. It’s not that fucking hard @ self.
3. Clean room while listening to a new Night Vale episode.
The one sure way to know how deep I am in my depression is the state of my room. The state of my room also sends me into this self-destructive spiral of hate and lethargy. As it get dirtier, I get dirtier on the inside. Clutter begets clutter. Therefore, I will force myself to clean and declutter bi-monthly (eyyy 20biteen!!!)
This will not cure me of the Sads but at least a clean room is something less to stress about. Unfuck The Year!
Writing Goals
I’m dreading this already.
1. Finish HSHL (His Smile, His Laugh) by June 30th, 11:59PM
Wanna hear something funny? I was meant to finish writing my outline on December 31st. Right now, I’m procrastinating from finishing it. LMAO ROFL. FUck Me. But hey, I made it a goal to finish it within the week and I’m on what I like to call “Act V” of the outline so I just need to focus. I’m not doing that now but I sincerely hope that by finishing this blog I’ll be all “lubed up” for it.
2. Submit draft to AT LEAST 25 agents starting July 15th.
Gotta do that break yo. One teacher at my grad school residency talked to us about SMART goals and this was one of them. Submit the draft, sure. But aim for something. 25 agents is a good number. I’ll do more if I have to. We did a project on finding agents too so I can’t say I’m wholly unprepared.
3. Submit 3 stories to 10 journals/magazines
Listen. I don’t want to have to play the game but Capitalism Makes Moral Compromisers of Us All. That said, I started a writing twitter where I will be “networking,” something I’ve been dreading since I started grad school. Nevertheless, it’s a necessary evil. We are social creatures. Until such time I have fuck you money, I’m gonna have to do this. But also, I do genuinely want to support other writers. We’re all humans and I wanna do this thing where I tell writers about how much I love their writing. It will make me feel good that they feel good. Also, that’s good karma.
But anyway, this is also a good way to stretch my writing muscles. Avoid burnout. Keep things going. Plus, it’s a good way of practicing how to be thrifty with words since most of these things require a Word Count Limit. As you know, and as you can see, I don’t know when to shut up.
4. Finish “Julian’s Body” by February 28, 11:59PM
Guess who’s still writing Dalton fanfiction in 2019. This person! I’m like a few chapters away to the end. Might as well get it out of the way so that I stop feeling bad about it.
5. Finish “Forgive My Weakness” by January 31, 11:59PM
Another fanfic to finish. The fanfic I’m procrastinating on Today. I’m almost kinda done. This shouldn’t take another week. I hope.
6. Read at least one book/full lit mag/journal per month.
Again, an easy in theory goal. I’m reading Three Dark Crowns right now and I’m loving it but I’m also not reading it so...fuck. However, this is something I should stick to because I just finished reading Autoboyography by Christina Lauren and it gave me all those nice writing feels. Reading fuels writing and it’s easy to forget.
Work Goals
I’m quitting my current job in April. It’s no longer the right fit for me. I don’t want to get into great detail about these but I just want what’s best for my account before I leave it.
1. Set up QA team by April 1st, 12:00PM
2. Set up monthly incentive program by April 1st, 12:00PM
3. Set up phone rep incentive by April 1st, 12:00PM
4. Do minimum 4 writing workshops at Spark
This city does not need a Creative Writing teacher so I need to make do with what I have. There’s this cafe that allows people to do drawing/calligraphy workshops. My friend said that I could do writing workshops as well so this is the plan for 2019. I won’t have a stable job, I fear. I hope I get something to push through but if all else fails, I’m gonna fight tooth and nail to get a teaching career going, even if it’s all super amateur.
Money Goals
1. Get new debit card from BPI by March 17th, 12:00PM
Since I’m quitting my job, I’m also going to be losing my debit card so I need to set a new one up before I do so. Then this means I have to change my Amazon, my PayPal, my Spotify, and my Patreon and that’s gonna be sooooo annoying.
2. Pay mom back for treadmill by end of year.
I still owe her a lot of money and if I want to be rid of my guilt, I will have to finish paying her.
That’s pretty much it. There are of course some resolutions I still have like talking to my friends more and helping my sister out with her current situation with our mom. (Not fun, super dumb, why she too christian for her own good.) But I didn’t put them in as goals because I haven’t figured out how to word them in such a way. Resolutions are tough to follow through because of the wording. Still, I want to improve my personal life but that’s going to be up to me. These are the most important goals I want to hit and I’m gonna get through them, sweat and tears and blood and all.
I’m afraid.
I’m unprepared.
I’m procrastinating.
But you know what? I’m capable.
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yea boi u already kno what it issssss 🍾🎆🎉🍾🎆🎉
hey so i started writing this at 8 o’ clock so i would be ahead of the game and actually have more than an hour to write but HEY its already 20 after midnight so who the eff care amiright ladies
WOOOOO 🍾🍾🎆 🎉 🎆 🍾 🎉 🎉 🍾 🍾 🍾 🎆🎆 🎆 🎉 🎆 🎉🍾 🎉 🍾🎆 🎉
so.................... its 2019.....................
i watched vox’s “2018 in 5 minutes” video and cried so thats how this year has been :^) a lot of lows......... we always think we leave the shittiest year behind then lo.............. the next year rears its ugly head and we never learn............ despite this, im gonna try to keep a positive outlook on the new year......... its literally just another day and i have to be in at work @ 9 tmrw but its what ever im already super fucking tired whats losing another hour of sleep anywahy?? its practically expected of me any way what with being a youth,,, ANYWAY i spent my time ringing in the new year watching spiderman homecoming so i think that wa sGREAt its also great that im gonna get to see spiderverse AGAIN tmrw after work so SUCK ON THAT im ringing in the new year RIGHT!! its a very spidey new year and i wouldnt have it any other way heh.....
alright
so its time.... to reflect...........
and actually reflect this time last year was weak sauce compared to the first year “im too unfocused right now happy new year or whatever” *scoffs* what r u too good for self reflecting now a days huhh
been doing a lot of self reflecting this year,,,,,, but today we will look back on how the previous years have gotten me to where i am today...
if 2016 was the year of change and 2017 was the year of getting used to things.............. 2018 felt like............ the year of getting TOO used to things, of not ENOUGH change............. like alright i scratched a few of the bigger things on my yearly “to do” list/resolutions, i. e. finally going back to school and getting a job at the library, but like.......... i definitly dont feel like i did enough........... my art game was SO WEAK and i feel like i wrote less than 10,000 words ALL YEAR (not counting my academic papers) i didnt really CREATE anything this i dont have ANYTHING significant to show for this year............and to get more negative i didnt even make any friends all year NONE FRIENDS im only *just* starting to get more friendly with people at the library thank GOD theyre nice and gave my shy ass a chance to open up but i still dont feel like ill make FRIEND friends theyre just work friends and u kno what thats making me so pissed bc its tricking my dumb ass into thinking i have a crush on someone at work aND that i want a *romantic* relationship with them!!! OUTRAGEOUS im so peeved.......................... i also still havent gotten behind a wheel but at this point im not sure if i will anytime soon bc im That Way..... grrrr im just mad thinking of all the things i didnt do so motherfucker i will make 2019 the year of DOING!!!! and i had so many resolutions last year i feel like the more i had the less i felt like i had to do them, like i was just saying all that to be like “oh wouldnt it be nice if any of these things happened lmao” so yeah 2019: the year of DOING... and since ive kinda sorta figured out that writing is my thang.... i think i wanna focus on doing that.. and anything that will help me do it
SO: #GOALS for 2K19
-WRITE AT LEAST 50.000 WORDS U COWARD, more than just “brainstorming” too bc thats like a cop out, write like stories or dialogue or scenes or scripts or WHATEVER just make it to 50,000 pls some people do that in like a month
-READ UR GOD DAMN BOOKS, u *cant* buy anymore if u dont read the ones u’ve already bought,,,, im willing to make an acception re: checking things out from the library................ but u rlly shouldnt IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO EASY TO WIN THE BET DUDE srsly..... maybe .... an hour b4 bed ? try to read ? at least try to read once a week dude....
-heres a curve ball WATCH MORE MOVIES !!! u say u love film well fuckin act like u do...... u only went to the movie theater 5 times all year and three of those were all in the last month to go see spiderverse, more than that HOW MANY movies are there on netflix that u see and go “oh i should watch that finally” or “people say thats rlly good bro” and u scroll right past to watch the same 3 fuckin movies i s2g
-oh yeah back to the writing thing, to reach that 50,000 goal u should write about what you read and watch, there u’ll prob meet the goal b4 summer if u do that bro but....u actually gotta do it....................
ok those r the 4 im REALLY gonna work on and try to keep track of in either of the journals sien got me :^) these next few i rlly want to happen but..... we’ll see
-make some friends pls.... pls be more friendly......... ENGAGE people when u have the opportunity askQUESTIONS about them like if they have a dog or a hobbie jesus h christ
-go out..... on ur own..... do stuff............by urself if u have to... go to the movies by urself go to a park, walk around down town for the fuck of it idk DO STUFF
-finish something............ for once in ur miserable life...................................... finish the vlog or the scrapbook..... or the reading list or this set of goals PLEAsE ANYTHING
im not even gonna put draw/art blog related stuff on here bc........ its not what i want........ like i love drawing and i dont think im terrible at it, im at a good place with it but i dont wanna put my energy this year into drawing stuff for the sake of me being able to say “i did it” like...... last yr and the yr b4 i rlly RLLY wanted to get better at art to idk prove that i could?? but like i havent picked up my drawing tablet in months ... that makes me really sad but i dont really feel like picking it up either? ? i said i wanted to take a painting/color theory/ life drawing class maybe i will this yr and it’ll reinvigorate my love of drawing........ tbh spiderverse got me *this close* to being pumped about art and animation and like yeah i still am, i love the medium and its still a dream of mine to be apart of it but it feels like a pipe dream if i try to go thru the art angle........ so many people r better than me at that and its not really what i wanna do,,, i wanna CREATE STORIES and worlds and characters and like i used my art to help *me* develop those but... i dont wanna use my art to do it for someone else i guess............. the art of animation itself still facsinates me so they door isnt close yet but,,, i wanna focus on the other aspect of myself that im more and at the same time LESS confident about lmao WRITING like alright,,, i think im a good writer .... sorta ? like yeah people tell me i am and sometimes when i look back on things ive written im like “dAMN i wrote this ???” but like,,,, there are some things to writing that still. escape me... like poetry.... and a lot of other aspects to it that i cant describe write now bc it would take too long and im getting cold and tired SO YEAH hopefully this english class will help me, even tho its just writting for college essays, i need to start somewhere and if shes rlly as good of a professor as rate my professor says then ill learn smthg new
where was i
well the year wasnt ALL bad, like i said i got the job at the library i wanted and FINALLY got to go to school, stressful as that mightve been........ and i got to see my love, my darling, the light of my life rhys again for one glorious week,, hopefully ill be able to see more of my friends this year? either in miami or milwuakee idc which MAYBE BOTH lmao im not that rich but hey i can dream,,,
alright its 1:12am i think im ready to sign off,,,,,,,,, here’s to DOING in 2019
🥂 cheers
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