#my munchies are hitting me like a fucking truck

[rosicheeks]

Someone please tell me why it’s almost 5am and I’m CRAVING goldfishies?????

#(flavor blasted of course ☺️) #my munchies are hitting me like a fucking truck #I want a donut #and tacos #and homemade Rice Krispies #goldfishiesss #shut up rosie

[tashabilities]

I need olive oil at Costco

And a bottle of rum for My Folks

And I wanna try this turkey gravy they got on the Costco Deals page, I hope my location has it.

I'm buzzed.

My throat dry but the munchies is on me

I still got that $10 GC to Sam's and need to find something to spend it on.

I wonder if either club would have a ring light.

I got a tiny bag of Doritos in there and I'm bout to go fuck it up, ain't I?

My skin itches like hell rn,

My lower back hurts.

I just want this rhomboid and tennis elbow fixed, bruh, my whole rotator cuff situation been fucked up since that truck hit me,

And my left lower back and hip been fucked up since that car rear ended me.

I be minding my own business, man.

[mrsmarlasinger]

Soooo starting about six hours ago, I took a 10mg indica edible, 4 RoboTabs, and 16 gelcaps (sum total is equivalent to 400mg HBr) over the course of three hours, and uh. That was horrifying, thanks! Definitely experienced ego death, there were multiple times where I was convinced I was dying, and I could not for the life of me comprehend who or where I was or what was real. In fact, there was a point where I felt that my WIP was real, even as my actual life began to feel impossibly contrived and shallow. Eventually I reached a point where I was listening to a Lana Del Rey song and could not determine who—out of me, Lana Del Rey, and the main character in my WIP—was real. Not sure why my WIP featured so heavily, but I suppose it's on my brain 24/7 when I'm sober, so it makes sense it would appear in my high.

Anyway, I spent most of my time on my bed proceeding through a variety of bodily sensations (flying/dreaming [yes, that's a physical sensation]/spinning/burning/being dragged down/being pushed down/being skewered/numbness/munchies/nausea/ITCHING/etc.), as is typical for one of my trips, but through much of that I was fighting to come to terms with my death-in-progress. I genuinely believed my brain was shutting down and my mind/consciousness was scattering because obviously I'd overdosed on 400mg and was dying. At best, I thought I'd be have to be rushed to the emergency room and would be left with permanent brain damage. At worst...well, I was begging my QPP to tell me whether there is an afterlife.

The very structure of the world, the universe, my life, my self—it was all spiraling apart. I could not come to terms with myself or my life, couldn't believe the facts, couldn't feel that any of it was real. Felt myself slipping into my characters but couldn't figure out who was really fiction. Chanted my name internally as if I could fathom that it represented me, that people know me and refer to me by this collection of phonemes even when I am not present, that I am not merely set dressing. When I opened my front camera, I laughed because I could not believe that this ugly, frightening collection of skin stretched over bone was me. At times I laughed a lot—when it was good, everything was absurdly hilarious. When it was bad, everything was an impossible, hazy, incomprehensible mess of black mist dissipating in my brain. I wavered in and out of the two states.

My mouth was numb. Couldn't talk. There were times where everything felt bright and burning and sharp: my bed, the air, my own body. Or I'd feel an incredible pressure on my head, drilling me down through the mattress. Or my face, just the lower right side of it, would become immensely heavy, like an actual, physical weight dragging me down. Or perhaps my sense of self would spin out into the void and I'd be left with nothing, barely even a sense of sensation, just the empty pit shaped loosely by music.

The first place my room transformed to when I closed my eyes, earlier in the trip, was my Hawai'i bedroom. I could feel that I was back in my room in JoAnn's house, and I was very tiny and spinning very quickly, and then eventually I could not sense where I was at all. I was nowhere. I was just a bug or a very small doll being folded up into a bed somewhere that didn't really exist.

I'm on the comedown now, when every part of your body feels like a light, hollowed-out husk.

Okay, I fell asleep and I've now been high for twelve hours and I just know the hangover is gonna hit like a fucking truck. Cannot express in words how glad I am that I had just enough presence of mind to talk only to my girlfriend and QPP, because reading my texts back? Utterly incoherent! I can remember what I was going through and the thought processes I had when I sent them, and the terror I was in, but they are hilariously incomprehensible.

Because weed dilates time so badly for me, every moment felt like it lasted an eternity. I fully understood the sci-fi trope about a drug that makes a normal prison sentence feel like centuries long. All the fear and ego death and dissociation and physical pain, it just never ended. Even when I was finally starting to come down, I'd be so hopeful it was getting better and then the high would seize me again like a sheet of lightning washing over my skin. I felt like I'd been through millennia of torture. Now, in retrospect, time seems slightly more normalized and I can comprehend that it was only a few hours, but I remember how it felt, the slowing of time, and I am so incredibly grateful that that's not how I perceive the trip in memory. I cannot imagine what it would do to my psyche to possess years' worth of memories which all occurred in one fucked-up night. Truly, I thought that I was dying or losing my mind or both (I asked my QPP and girlfriend multiple times if I was dying or receiving brain damage), and that reality did not exist, and I did not exist, and my life was just a pretended front for a vast empty void. Also? The cotton mouth.

Some issues with combining weed and DXM have now occurred to me. The weed-induced time dilation, for instance, which turns minutes of dissociative dysphoria into lifetimes of torture. The fact that DXM has an unbearable body load (nausea, itching, increased body heat, numbness/tingling, etc.) and weed heightens all of my bodily sensations; though I do believe the edible killed all but a trace of my nausea, and reducing sorbitol through RoboTabs prevented the infamous and much-dreaded roboshits. Can you imagine how awful it would have been if I had been shitting myself on TOP of everything else????? GOD. DXM is such a garbage drug.

It wasn't, though. Not the entire time. When I was lying with my eyes closed and feeling my body move through space, I loved it. I felt myself rolling and flipping and flying and floating through the air, upside down and backwards and sideways and every other way, and it felt exactly the way it does when you fly in your dreams. I was in space a little, but mostly I was just soaring through pastel cotton candy skies. Flying over fields and a carnival in a soft expanse of rosy pink as the sun rose. Grazing the stars, just barely, in the pale blue of the early morning sky. It made me so sad to think that not everyone could experience this, this incredible soul-soaring euphoria, and that it would end. I could've cried thinking about all the people who would never feel this. Thinking about comedown. I never wanted to be sober, unhigh, again. In that moment, oh, I knew I was going to develop an addiction. All I could do was text my QPP "DXM best drug" (or some approximation thereof) over and over again. I was flying. I was dreaming.

And then reality crumbled in my hands and I couldn't tell if I really was dreaming, if I was asleep or just a figment of someone's imagination (my own?) or what.

Another memory: scratching the living hell out of my flesh (particularly my head) and seeing the long scratch marks on my arm, which in the dim of my fairy lights instantly made it appear withered and wrong, like an image from a horror movie.

There was still a part of my brain that was worried my parents would find me high. I couldn't bear the humiliation of being discovered and inevitably hospitalized—or so I assumed—which would of course trigger an incomparable shitstorm from my very anti-drug Mormon parents. There were grains, just grains, of rationality left in my mind. Every so often I managed to grasp a real, solid, logical thought, such as "I'm way too high. This is going to be so funny to me tomorrow." I even managed to send a couple mildly coherent texts. After telling my QPP, "Ahhhhhh what is happening!!!!!!! I am coming back into myself and my life and my body but the music is separate from me and I'm shaking apart like a robot and I'm dying!!!!!!!!" while I was coming down (for some reason I felt like a robot, I guess?), my next text was, "Dude, I am so sorry, there is an intellectual part of me still here, I just can't reliably access it."

What I meant about the music, by the way, was that I felt a very distinct break between my body and the music in my headspace, and I suppose that this dichotomy is what led me to feel like I was "shaking apart" and dying. I am not sure what the robot thing was about. Since I robowalk on comedown, it's possible I was feeling mechanical stiffness in my muscles.

So. Yes. I started out with a scientific interest in the way the two drugs were beginning to intertwine: time dilation and enhanced bodily sensations from weed; dissociation and accompanying spaciness/forgetfulness from DXM; visual dissociation (like playing first person perspective in the Sims, or looking at the world through the wrong end of a telescope) primarily from DXM; enhanced music from both; some nausea from DXM; extreme hunger from what I presume was the weed, because even though I don't really get the munchies, DXM suppresses my appetite a little. Anyway, the world then started to become disorienting and slightly dysphoric, but eventually I slipped into startling beauty and overwhelming love for DXM, which of course soured into a living nightmare.

I can't even describe what I felt. I'm trying so hard, but I can't. That's the thing about mind-altering substances; by their very nature, they unlock new kinds of perception and cognition that are simply impossible for a sober brain to fathom, because that's just not how it works. Even in the moment, I knew I would never be able to fully remember or convey what I was feeling, which was incredibly frustrating because I knew I'd never be able to adequately incorporate this terrible nightmare into my WIP and thus get something out of it.

I told myself to simply accept that I was high, to stop trying to get control of it, to sink into the moment and ride the waves no matter how intense, but it was nigh impossible because I was so certain that I was experiencing the end of life as I knew it (or, alternatively, that life as I knew it had never actually existed).

Instead I struggled to deal with the fact that I was dying and this was the stupid, stupid way it would all end: overdosing on cough medicine. I told myself that I was suicidal anyway, so I shouldn't really be so upset about dying, but I didn't know if there was an afterlife, and that terrified me. It couldn't have been the end of everything. I wasn't ready. I wasn't.

What's funny is that I just barely retained my ability to do math throughout the trip, so I was able to continually calculate my dosage so long as my QPP helped me remember what I'd taken, because I couldn't remember jackshit—though I was, impressively, able to independently maintain a timestamped list of everything I took. What ISN'T funny is that I kept compulsively redosing even though I'd TOLD myself I wouldn't because I KNOW I do this, which is how my plan of 345mg HBr and half an edible turned into a full edible and the HBr equivalent of 400mg split between HBr and freebase (which is allegedly supposed to be less "warm" and "friendly" than HBr). Goddammit. I ALMOST took another RoboTab, but fortunately I decided against it. God knows how I got ahold of myself. 10mg indica or 225mg HBr ALONE will fuck me up, and I knew this, but I kept convincing myself to take just a tiny bit more, boost the peak a little (even though redosing has never worked like that for me in the past. I believe it somewhat did in this instance because I was intentionally using RoboTabs knowing they'd hit faster).

The giggliness that came and went is still lingering. Every time I read that text about myself "shaking apart like a robot," or any of my other high texts, I laugh. Also, I for some reason took and sent my girlfriend a very unflattering ass picture toward the beginning of my trip, and every time I saw it last night, I cracked up laughing. Sometime after the ass pic I also took a trio of selfies in which I am laughing and smiling like a maniac, which were incredibly ugly and unsettling to me when I took them, but I sent them to my QPP and girlfriend anyway because I perceived the girl in the pictures as a different person.

It's been thirteen and a half hours, but I can tell I'm still high because music still sounds good and the hangover hasn't hit yet. I'm seriously starving, though. Haven't eaten in at least twenty-five hours, which isn't so long, but again, I think it's possible the weed cancelled out the DXM appetite suppression. Maybe I go try to eat something. Maybe I finally stop writing and give up on trying to pin down the fundamentally incomprehensible.

My final thoughts, now that another hour has passed and I've been high for fourteen and a half hours? I suppose my big High Revelation™ is that I don't really want to die, but I already knew that. So my actual conclusion is this meme I just made:

Still gonna do it again tho 😌💅

Anyway, I'm gonna go read that one r/nosleep story about a guy who's given a time dilation drug and his life becomes a living nightmare for which death is the only possible relief. Bye bitches ✌️

#personal #trip diary #trip report #dxm #dextromethorphan #weed #marijuana #robitussin #robotripping #bad trip #drugs #drugs tw #drugs cw #tw drugs #cw drugs #drug tw #drug cw #suicide mention #disordered eating #disordered eating mention #disordered eating tw #long post #long post cw #drug

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch23: Full Circle

Chapter Summary: Mary takes a trip to Boston, but it doesn’t go exactly according to plan and both Frank and Fliss find themselves making a return to the place they both ran from.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Nothing major in this, except please bear with me…I’m a Brit so don’t have a wonderful knowledge of the US Health service… thanks to those of you who helped me with this one, you know who you are… ;-)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 22

In the eye of the storm, you remain in control, and in the middle of the war, you guard my soul, you alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn, your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm.

 "You got everything?" Frank looked at Mary as she shrugged her pink backpack over her shoulder and nodded at him, grinning. "All set..." "Have a good time sweetie!" Fliss grinned as she bent to give her a hug. "I'll make sure Monty is ok, and Fred gets his ping pong ball." Mary wrapped her arms around Fliss, squeezing her before she turned to Frank and did the same. "Call or message me when you land." Frank straightened up as Mary turned to climb in the car as Evelyn held the door open. It was in instruction, not a request and that didn’t pass Evelyn by. She looked at him, smiled and nodded. "Of course. Our flight is due into Boston at 10pm so I'll let you know straight away." Frank nodded and Fliss slipped an arm around his waist as Evelyn settled into the car, the door closing behind them. "She'll be fine..." Fliss gave his hip a gentle squeeze as they both waved the car off, Thor playfully bounding after it for 2 or 3 strides, barking. "It’s only 2 nights sailor...she'll be back Sunday evening" "I know..." he sighed, turning to face her. "And I know it’s different to the last time she went..."

“But that won’t stop you worrying, I get it.” Fliss said, as she gently slid her arms round his neck.

“Stupid, huh?” Frank sighed, his hands falling to her hips.

“No, not at all. You’re behaving like any dad would…” “I’m not her dad.” Frank shook his head.

“And Bill isn’t mine, biologically.” Fliss looked at him, her head tilting to one side. “I’ve told you before, don’t sell yourself short.”

Frank took a deep breath and looked down at Fliss, her large brown eyes studying his.

“What you wanna do tonight?” He asked, changing the subject. It always made him feel slightly uncomfortable being referred to as Mary’s Father, it was almost like he was betraying Diane’s memory in a way. It was stupid, illogical, he knew, as he was her father, in every way but biologically…but still.

"How about you take me for a ride in the new truck?" Fliss smiled. “I’ve not sat in it yet!” Frank looked over her shoulder for a moment at the sleek, shiny new silver Mitsubishi Triton he’d taken delivery of that morning. He smiled a little, before he looked at Fliss, his hands flexing on her waist as he had an idea. "Why don't we see what's on at the Drive In up at Tampa? Good trip to give it a test and we can take the blankets and cool box up, sit on the back?" "Ooooh, sounds great!" Fliss grinned "grab some munchies too!" Frank nodded, giving her a peck on the lips before they headed back up to the apartment. The evening film turned out to be Bohemian Rhapsody which Fliss was eager to see and after checking the time they packed up the truck with what they needed before hitting the road. Fliss was taken with the modern interior of the new vehicle, fiddling about with the dials and the screen on the centre console, tuning the radio in and programming the rest of the stuff which Frank couldn't give a crap out. The only thing useful on there in his opinion was the built in GPS. "Did Greg call you today?" Frank asked Fliss as she sat in the seat beside him. She turned to face him, frowning. "I thought I told you?" Frank school his head, glancing at her. "Oh God, Frank, I’m sorry!" She slapped her palm to her forehead and groaned, shaking her head. Frank chuckled and reached out to squeeze her knee. "Honey, its okay" he assured her, giving her a smile which she returned. He knew why she had been quick to apologise. As part of their moving forward since their little 'blip' as Frank referred to it a few weeks back, Fliss had agreed one hundred percent disclosure on anything and everything to do with her ass hat ex and she didn't want him thinking she was holding out. Another part of the deal was they went to the police. After seeing the evidence and taking statements they had questioned John, who of course had denied it. Given that the evidence was circumstantial the prosecution had told Fliss that they wouldn't be pursuing it further however, upon learning this Greg, had taken matters into his own hands and was pushing for further action. Given that the weight of probability with John's history, swayed towards him being responsible Greg was actively yet unofficially harassing the Assistant District Attorney in Suffolk County (who he knew from Law School) to at least consider holding a Grand Jury Hearing. "He hasn't heard back from his pal at the DAs office yet." Fliss shrugged, her eyes moving back to the road "Mind you, John's been quiet though for the last month now since the photo. Part of me wonders if pushing for this is just gonna kick the Hornets nest so to speak." "Maybe." Frank mused. "But Greg seems confident if we can get him up in front of a Grand Jury, they'd without a doubt decide there was a case to answer." "He just wants to second chair the Prosecution" Fliss grinned and Frank snorted. "Yeah he has taken it kinda personally." Frank nodded, before he sighed and reached out for her left hand which was now nervously twisting the fingers of her right. He pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles before he linked his fingers with his and dropped his hand to the arm rest between them. He didn't mention it again. Instead they concentrated on enjoying themselves and once at the Drive In, Frank reversed the truck so the flat bed was facing the lager screen. They sat in the back, cool box of beer and snacks at their disposal, huddled together and enjoyed their film, sharing the odd lingering, deep kiss that left the pair of them smiling and grinning like a couple of teenagers on the back row. Once the film was finished they headed home via one of the All Night Diners on the for a shake and some pie, at which point Frank received a photo message from Evelyn that showed Mary asleep in the back of her car, accompanied by the words "Safe and Sound" and a promise that Mary would call in the morning. He passed the phone to Fliss who grinned at the image. "See, nothing to worry about." She said gently, passing him the phone back. "I'm not worried..." he began to protest but Fliss simply arched an eyebrow and he let out a soft sigh. "Okay, maybe a little..." "It’s gonna be fine. She's going to come back full of tales about what a great time she had and that's the most important thing here Frank. You said you wanted her to be happy. Clearly, having Evelyn in her life is what she wants." "I know, I know...you're right." He nodded, before his attention flicked to the waitress who was bringing them their food. Once finished they made their way back home and decided to take Thor for a quick walk down to the Marina. It was dark, and getting a little bit chilly (well, as chilly as it ever got in South Pas) but it was nice none the less, just taking the time to themselves in the moonlight. As they walked and talked, Frank felt the veil of anxiety he had been feeling about Mary’s trip lift slightly and he started to relax properly. It was hard not to, he loved spending time with Fliss like this, just doing simple things alone and it didn’t escape him how if you had asked him eighteen months ago if he would be spending his Friday Nights walking down the Marina with his girlfriend of a year he would have laughed.

At that he stopped.

A year.

Fuck.

“Lissy…” he pulled her back to him. “It’s our anniversary tomorrow.”

“I know.” she smiled “I take it you just remembered?”

“No…” he started to protest, and then gave a laugh as she arched an eyebrow at him, calling him out.

“You’re so full of shit.”

“Maybe I did just remember but that’s only because every day with you feels as special as our first date.” “Oh fuck you Adler!” she snorted and he laughed, tilting his head back, his right hand flying to his chest. “That’s is such a shit line.” “Okay, okay, sorry!” he chuckled, tilting his head to look at her. “I’ve never been in this position before so cut me some slack huh!”

“Well, I’m not expecting a card or flowers or any crap like that.” she smiled “It’s not like it’s a wedding anniversary, which, for the record, when we get married, you forget one of those I would smother you to death in your sleep…” “When…” Frank looked at her, a soft smile on his face.

“I mean if.” She flushed, biting her lip.

“Nope, you said when…”

“Piss off.”

“So you don’t wanna marry me?”

“I didn’t say that?”

“So you do then…” “Frank, seriously, shut up!” She laughed, hitting him on his chest. With a chuckle, he dropped his arm round her shoulder. They continued their walk, looping around the marina to start the head home, when after a few moment she spoke again.

“But, hypothetically speaking, if I was to ask…” Fliss took a deep breath as they continued to walk, before she stopped and looked up at him. “Hypothetically?” “Of course…” She smiled, and looked down slightly, before she grinned up at him “Then it would totally depend on what ring you got me.”

“Materialistic…” Frank nodded, “Noted.” She shoved him again and he looked at her, “What?” he asked through his chuckle.

“I wonder why I love you at times.” “No you don’t.” He said gently and it was her turn to laugh as she shook her head.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t”

“You’ve still not answered my question…” He said, looking at her.

“Ask it properly and maybe I will.” she sassed back.

Frank felt his face split into a grin because that was all the damned answer he needed. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before he pulled her close and they headed home, Thor running in front of them barking at the lights that were reflecting on the dark water.

******

Frank blinked. It took him a while to realise what had woken him, but his phone was ringing. Reaching for it with a yawn he looked at it, and as soon as the caller ID registered he sat bolt upright and answered. "Mother?" He frowned, his voice thick from sleep "What's happened?" "Don't panic..." she spoke immediately, and he felt his chest contract straight away in worry as she continued "but we're on the way to hospital..." "Why, what's going on?" He asked, as Fliss stirred next to him as he began to push the covers down, before swinging his legs so he was sat on the edge if his bed. "Mary started complaining of pains in her stomach just before bed. She seemed to settle after some pain relief but woke about half an hour ago screaming. So I decided call an ambulance." Evelyn's voice was calm but Frank could sense the underlying current of anxiety "they're here now and they want to take her in, they think its appendicitis..." There was a pause as someone said something to her on the other side and then Frank could hear Mary's soft crying and he felt a lump in his throat. "Ok, where are they taking her?" He asked "Cambridge?" "Yes." Evelyn spoke "Frank, I need to go but I'll call you as soon as I have news." "Ok." Frank nodded, standing up "I'll be there as soon as I can" Evelyn didn't argue, she simply promised once more to call as soon as there was an update and he hit cancel. "Frank?" Fliss asked softly, clicking on the lamp as he turned to face her. "What...."

"It's Mary." Frank looked at Fliss as he moved the wardrobe and pulled out a bag "She's been taken ill, they're err...taking her to hospital. I need to go..."

"Hospital?" Fliss threw the covers off the bed "What for?" "Suspected appendicitis..." Frank said, as he tossed the kit bag onto the bed "I don't know much more but..."

He took a deep breath as Fliss reached out for him, and he fell into her arms as she gently gave him a hug. He pulled away and ran a hand over his face.

"Ok, first thing's first." Fliss spoke. "We need flights..."

"Flights?" "Yeah, you can't drive there Frank." Fliss looked at him, "It will take you a day." "Yeah, yeah." he nodded, realising that his plan to simply jump in his truck and floor it was a ridiculous one, before he frowned. “Hang on, we?"

"Yes, we. You're not going on your own." "I don't want you back in Boston." Frank shook his head. "Not whilst..."

"Frank, I'm not having this argument with you." Fliss said sternly "Fuck John. This is Mary. I'm coming, end of discussion." Frank looked at her for a moment, her face was stern leaving him absolutely no doubt she was being serious. If he was 100% honest with himself, he didn't want to go without her either, so with a deep breath he nodded.

"I’ll sort the flights and then I'll call my mum and dad, they can come get Thor and Fred. Where's your ID?" "Kitchen drawer." he said, as he began pulling a few items of clothing and stuffing them in the bag. She nodded and headed out of the room, the lights in the hallway flicking on as she went. He shoved what he had pulled from his drawers into his bag. He hated this, he'd always been there when Mary was sick, and the fact he was a damned 3 hour flight away was killing him.

"Dad's on his way over, and the first flight I could get us on is at six-fifteen which gets us in at nine-twenty.” Fliss said, coming back, her phone in her hand "So that gives us just under three hours." she said.

Frank nodded and that was the confirmation she needed, and she tapped a button nodding. "That's done. So you're gonna need your paperwork, insurance etc..." "Yeah, that's..." he frowned, "erm..." "Filed with everything else." she looked at him, "It's in the drawer in the bureau."

"Right." "And we should probably take some more stuff for Mary." Fliss looked at him, "She's gonna be there a little longer than anticipated so she'll need more clothes, pyjamas...maybe a few books...want me to sort it?" "Please." he smiled softly at her, thankful that she seemed to have taken control.

She nodded and headed into Mary's room and began to pull a selection of things for her together, returning with them moments later. They spent the next 15 minutes gathering what they needed before they both dressed, and then there was a soft knock on the door. Frank made his way to answer when his phone rang again.

"I'll get the door honey." Fliss spoke softly as he answered the call.

"Mr Adler?" "Speaking." "This is Ava Fields calling from Cambridge Hospital...I just need to collect some details from you regarding Mary...I believe you're the Minor's official guardian?"

Frank took a deep breath and confirmed the status with the woman, and then headed into the living room, nodding slightly to Bill as he went to the file which Fliss had placed on the dining room table. Flicking through he found his policy details, number and proceeded to recite the information over the phone.

"Listen..." he spoke to the woman once he had finished "I'm in Florida at the moment, but I'll be flying up as soon as I can...in the meantime, could it be possible to delegate responsibility when I'm not reachable to Evelyn Adler, she's Mary's grandmother, my mother...she came in with her. I don't want anything to be held up whilst I'm in the air..." "No, of course Mr Adler." The woman spoke kindly, "I'll make a note that you're happy for Mrs Adler to be the point of contact until you arrive...now have a safe trip and try not to worry." Yeah, right.

With a thanks he cut the call and immediately dialled his mother.

"Any news?" he demanded.

"The doctor has just arrived." Evelyn spoke quietly "He's doing a quick physical then I suspect she'll be taken up for some tests or..." "Ok, well our flight leaves at 6:15." he said, walking back into the bedroom "Arrives in Mass at 9:20."

"I'll send a car for you." Evelyn said.

"Thanks." Frank said "Oh, and I've told the hospital that if they can't reach me to defer to you. I hope that's ok." "Of course it's ok Frank." Evelyn replied softly "She is my granddaughter." "Just call me the minute there's any news." he said, ignoring her sudden softness. "Sure." Evelyn said "And keep me posted as to where you are." With a goodbye Frank slid the phone into his pocket and unplugged the charger before he threw that into the bag along with his documents before he zipped it up and lifted it, along with the smaller one which contained Mary's stuff and headed into the hall.

"Hey Bill..." he said with a sigh, dropping the bags to the floor "Sorry, I wasn't being rude..." "Stop." Bill shook his head, cutting Frank’s apology off "How is she?" "Still being examined. I should know more shortly." he took a deep breath, looking at Fliss "Mother's sending a car for us once we land."

"Ok." Fliss said "I couldn't get two seats together but we're a row behind one another..." Frank nodded, it wasn't important. What was important was that they simply got there.

"Deep breath..." Fliss said softly, her hands resting on his arms "Have we packed everything?"

He nodded, running over the list in his head and Bill reached for one of the bags. "Ok, let's get going..."

"Dad's gonna drop us at the airport." Fliss said, "Save us having to sort out Car parking..." "Thanks." Frank looked at Bill, who waved his gratitude away.

"No problems...all set?" "Jacket." Fliss looked at Frank and he cursed, heading back into the bedroom. Grabbing the warmest one he owned, which was a dark grey Super-Dry zip up he carried it back into the hall and the three of them headed down to Bill's Range Rover.

15 minutes into the trip he had another call from Evelyn to say Mary was being taken up for scans as soon as possible.

"The initial examination seems to confirm it's appendicitis..." she said "They've given her a sedative for the pain and once the scans are done, if its confirmed they're going to need to operate. The good news is it doesn't appear to have ruptured so it can be done via a laparoscopy..." "Yeah, that's wonderful..." Frank said sarcastically before he sighed "Sorry, I'm just worried..." "I know." Evelyn said "But she's in the best place Frank." "Yeah..." he sighed, looking out of the window. "Thanks...keep in touch." He explained to Fliss and Bill who were both looking at him questioningly before they fell silent again, no one speaking for the rest of the journey, which took them just over 35 minutes in total. After giving Bill quick instructions for Thor and Fred, and the man promising to call Alan and Joanne for them, as it was unlikely they would be back on Monday, they both gave him a hug and Bill gently slapped Frank's back slightly, in as Fatherly a manner as he could have done.

Check in and security took them about 40 minutes to clear, meaning by the time the hit the lounge they had roughly an hour before they could start boarding. Fliss suggested they grabbed a coffee and Frank agreed, even though he didn't particularly want one, he knew it was a way of passing the time. He was also getting antsy as there hadn't been any more news from his mother or the hospital. Fliss directed him to sit on the tan, leather sofas in the Coffee Bar area of the lounge and headed to the counter to place their order. Whilst she waited she turned to glance at Frank, to see he had crossed one long leg over the other and was rubbing at his forehead with his hand. She knew he was worried, hell, they both were, but Frank was normally the level-headed one out of the pair of them, more often than not being the one bringing Fliss down from a rage when Mary came home and told about something a kid at school had said to her, even when Mary didn’t actually give a shit herself. But now the tables had turned and Fliss knew she had to be the calm one despite the fact she herself felt anything but.

Taking the coffees with a smile she turned and headed over to where he was sat, placing the mugs on the small table in front of them and then dropping gently into the seat besides him.

“Thanks.” he murmured, before he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked it again.

"She’ll be ok Frank." Fliss said gently, her hand dropping to his knee.

"She's gonna be so scared Fliss" Frank sighed, his hand sliding into hers "A strange place, in pain, and ...I'm not there..." "No, but you will be as soon as we can." Fliss soothed.

"What if they operate, and then she wakes up and..."Frank's voice croaked "I promised I'd look after her and..."

"Hey..." Fliss said softly, her fingers tightening around his "You do look after her. No one could have predicted she would fall ill, that isn't something you can control, ok? I know it’s easier said than done but try and concentrate, keep a clear head. So when you do get news you can digest it rationally ok?"

"I know going back can't be easy for you." he looked at her, "But I'm glad you're here...I don't know what I'd have done without you before..."

"Probably jumped in your truck in nothing but your boxers." She said and he gave a soft chuckle.

"Probably" he agreed.

They made small talk for the rest of the time before their flight called and they headed to the gate. He called Evelyn to inform her they were boarding and she told him that they were still waiting for a doctor to come by with the scans results. That frustrated him, as it had been almost 2 hours since they had said they were referring her for one but there was nothing he could do about it.

They found their seats, Frank shoving their bags into any space in the overhead locker he could find and thankfully, the man next to Frank was happy to swap seats when Fliss explained the situation to him, meaning they could sit together. Whilst Frank had earlier stated it wasn't important he was glad he was by his side. He could take her hand, feel her presence which itself was calming.

The flight itself felt like the longest 3 hours of Frank's life. He tried to concentrate on a film, but that didn't work. Nor did the paper from the flight attendant, or trying to talk to Fliss. After 40 minutes he just settled into a contemplative silence, his mind working overtime, simply taking Fliss' hand in his as he willed away the minutes. Eventually, their descent into Logan was announced and after Fliss spoke to the flight attendant again, they were allowed to exit the aircraft first. Frank was back on his phone as soon as they walked off, and Evelyn answered immediately saying Mary had been taken down to surgery approximately 50 minutes ago. She assured Frank that Mary had been ok, knew he was on his way, and Evelyn had been with her whilst she fell asleep, which was something at least.

As they were travelling with their bags in the cabin, once they cleared security they didn’t have to wait for luggage reclaiming, and they strode quickly into the arrivals lounge where they were met by their driver who Frank greeted with a nod. They followed him outside to the sleek grey Mercedes and both climbed into the rear once Frank had tossed their bags into the trunk.  Fliss gently placed her hand on Frank's knee as his leg was shaking and he shot her a small smile as he looked out of the window at the sights of the city he had left behind almost 8 years ago.

Nothing had changed, nothing of notice anyway. A few new housing developments here and there but as they made their way through to Cambridge it appeared to be the same leafy suburb he had once called home. Although he knew Fliss had lived in Concorde, this had to be jolting memories for her and it seemed he was right as he glanced sideways at her and noticed a look of contemplation on her face.

"You ok?" he asked, and she smiled, nodding.

“Was just thinking about how beautiful it all looks this time of year." He smiled softly and they fell into silence again, and less than 20 minutes after leaving the airport they pulled up outside the hospital. The driver hopped out and opened the trunk so they could grab their bags before they thanked the man and headed inside straight to reception. The woman greeted him, gave him the relevant floor and Ward name along with a room number, informing him Mary had her own private area which he was glad about.

"Come on..." Frank urged the elevator as it ascended to the floor they needed, tapping his foot on the floor. After what felt like hours, the doors opened and he strode out, his hand round Fliss' as they checked the signs on the wall.

"This way." Fliss tugged on his arm. She gently led him to the right and they checked the numbers on the doors before they reached Mary's. Without knocking Frank opened the door and Evelyn's head snapped up.

"Where's Mary?" Frank demanded as he spotted the bed was missing from the room. "Not back from theatre." Evelyn said, standing up and Fliss smiled at her, taking in her appearance. She was as casually dressed as Fliss had ever seen her, in a pair of jeans and a sweater, her hair pulled back into a pony tail and she noted how soft and almost maternal it actually made her look in contrast to her usual School Mistress appearance. "It shouldn't be long now...as soon as she's out they'll be taking her to the post anaesthetic care unit and come down to get us."

Frank dropped the bag he was carrying to the floor and walked to the window, taking a glance out, chewing the inside of his lip. Fliss watched him for a moment before she turned to Evelyn as she spoke.

"Good flight?" the woman asked, clearly trying to make conversation.

"Yeah." Fliss nodded "Felt like it took an age but..."

At that moment there was a knock on the door before it opened and they all turned to see a doctor step into the room.

"How is she?" Frank asked immediately.

"Mr Adler I presume?" The light haired man smiled at him. "I'm Dr Jeffords. Mary is fine, the operation went without hitch. If you come with me I'll take you up to PACU...but I'm afraid only 2 of you can come..." Frank took a deep breath and immediately looked to Fliss, who turned to Evelyn. "Evelyn, you can..." "No." she shook her head, "You go..."

"You can take turns if you wish." The doctor said gently "She shouldn't be in there for too long, once she's come round and her vitals are stable she'll be brought back down so..." Evelyn nodded and Fliss turned to Frank as he took her hand. With a final nod to his mother they followed the Doctor to the elevator.

"Just to prepare you, she does have an IV line in and could be a little groggy at first..." The doctor spoke as they followed him down a corridor. "That's all perfectly normal..."

Frank nodded as the Doctor opened a door to their right and Frank saw Mary for the first time in the middle of the bed at the far side.  She looked so small and there was a nurse stood by her, checking something on a screen.

"Oh, Jesus.” Frank's voice caught in his throat and Fliss gently rubbed at his back.

"It looks worse than it is." Doctor Jeffords assured him "Like I said, there were no complications we just need to monitor her for a while until she comes round fully. Now if you need anything or have any worries, please just grab one of the nurses, and I'll be back in about half an hour to check on her. By the she should be with it enough to take back to her room."

Fliss thanked the Doctor as Frank walked over to Mary's bed, bending down gently to kiss the top of her head, his hand brushing her hair back off her face. She gently placed her hand between Frank's shoulder blades as the two of them stood looking down at Mary, Fliss' hand rubbing soft circles over Frank's grey t-shirt as he took a deep breath. "She looks so small." Frank said softly "I never considered how little she was really" "She's not." Fliss chuckled. "She is to you because you're big." "Big?" Frank looked at her and she shrugged, smiling. "Yeah you're tall...broad shouldered..." she mused, her eyes flicking back to Mary, her hand falling from his shoulders to the base of his back. "I'm just over six-foot, it's not that tall." Frank's lips curled into a smile "Your Steve is taller than me, your dad is the same size..." "Steve is an animal." Fliss said, shaking her head "he was your height at the age of 16. Ridiculous." At that Mary made a little noise, and her face creased up, eyes closed. "Hey." Frank smiled softly, his hand reaching out again, gently brushing her cheek. "Hey Stack."

Mary made a noise, and then her face screwed up and she began to try and sit up.

“Shhhh.”  Frank moved further up the bed, gently bending over so his hands fell either side of her. “Just…stay calm, its okay…”

But even as he spoke she became even more visibly distressed, and no matter what he said she didn’t respond. He looked up at Fliss, helplessly, his eyes filling with tears and Fliss took a deep breath, swallowing as she called over for a nurse.

“I know this looks horrible,” the Nurse said softly as she strode over, “but she’s experiencing something we call Emergence Delirium, very common in children.” “What, what do I do?” Frank asked, shaking his head, his eyes still fixed on Mary as she yelled out, her arms flailing “I can’t…”

“There’s nothing you can do really other than gently talk to her, stay calm, be reassuring…” the Nurse said gently. “I promise you, she won't remember any of this when she comes round fully Mr Adler, it’s worse for you than her…”

Frank gently placed his hand on Mary’s forehead and at his touch she seemed to relax a little, so encouraged slightly he began to hum the melody to God Only Knows by the Beach Boys, something he had always sung to her as a small child, a song she’d grown up with and they now sang along to in the car on occasions. Fliss moved to his side, her arm curling round his waist as she simply stood with him, lending him comfort and eventually, Mary blinked, her eyes opening and when they focussed on Frank she gave him a small smile.

Frank let out the breath he had been holding and wiped his eyes hastily before she realised he’d been crying.

"Hey Stack." he said gently, looking at her, his hand softly stroking her cheek. "Welcome back."

She blinked again, and then looked to Fliss, her face cracking into an even bigger smile and Fliss reached down and gently placed a kiss on her head.

“Hey baby.” Fliss smiled.

“Evelyn…” Mary coughed slightly, her voice croaky and she looked at Frank “She said you were on your way…” “I got on a plane as soon as I could.” he said, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier.” “Where is she?”

“She’s in your room.” Frank said “Only 2 of us were allowed in here at once.” “Do you want me to go get her?” Fliss said.

“But then you would have to go.” Mary frowned.

“Yeah, but if you want Evelyn that’s fine…” “No.” Mary shook her head and Frank gently curled his hand around Fliss’. Mary closed her eyes again before she opened them and looked at Frank “Where’s Fred.” Frank let out a snort “I couldn’t bring a cat in here with me, Stack. Bill and Verity have him.” “And his ping pong balls?” “And his ping pong balls.” Fliss assured her.

“Oh, ok.” Mary looked at them both “That’s fine. Hey, did you bring me any snacks?”

Frank looked at Fliss, the pair of them sharing a grin before Frank shook his head “No, but when the doctor says it’s ok I’ll go get you whatever you want.” “Good, Evelyn wouldn’t let me have any chips last night.” she said, wrinkling her face “I know I’ve said this before but she really is bossy…” *******

When the Doctor returned he began his examination to make sure Mary was ok to move back to her room, and Fliss had to snort at the way Mary started demanding an in depth report on what exactly the Operation had done. Doctor Jeffords looked at Frank, who merely rolled his eyes with a smirk and gestured for him to answer so, with an amused expression he did just that. Mary quizzed him for a good 15 minutes until Frank stepped in and told her that the poor man had other people to go and see, not just her.

Little over 20 minutes after the Doctor was left they were back in Mary’s room, and she seemed fairly bright. Frank had been momentarily dumbfounded when he had seen his mother reach over to hug Mary, tears in her eyes when she had returned to her room. But Mary didn’t act like it was a big issue, so he could only assume that his mother must have hugged her before, and it struck him as being a little sad how surprised he was by this realisation.

The three of them sat with her, the TV on the wall playing something in the background. Frank made sure her laptop was charged so she had something to do as well in case she decided she was getting bored. They Face-timed Bill and Verity who were both over the moon to see Mary ok, and they talked to them for a good forty minutes, Mary demanding to see Fred and Thor as well, Bill making good natured grumblings about how he was offended she didn’t really want to see him. All in all, the day passed fairly quickly all in all, and at about 4pm the Nurse popped in to ask if Mary wanted something to eat. She nodded eagerly and when they returned with a list of what she could have, Frank sat next to her and they began to decide. Fliss smiled softly at the sight of him, sat up on the bed, arm looped round the headboard as they both pulled a face at something on the menu, shaking their heads.

“String beans by any chance?” Evelyn asked, clocking the exchange and Frank looked up at her.

“How did you guess?”

“You always hated them as a child and do does she….” Evelyn said, a little distractedly as her phone began to ring. She glanced at the number and then looked at Frank “Sorry, do you…” “No, go for it.” He said, nodding. She answered the call as she left the room, Fliss watching her go before she turned to Frank as Mary looked at him.

“Are you staying here with me tonight?” “Course I am.” he assured her “I’m not leaving until you can come home.” “And that’s tomorrow?” “If they’re happy you’re ok, yeah, tomorrow. Although you won’t’ be able to fly back to Florida for a while.” “Does that mean we’re gonna be at Evelyn’s for Thanksgiving?” Frank paused for a moment, he hadn’t even thought about that, or in fact where they were going to stay whilst Mary recovered. His mother’s was the logical option, despite how he had no desire to step foot in her house ever again, but that wasn’t important. What was important was Mary, and being at his mother’s was going to be a damned sight better for her than a hotel.

“Looks like it.” he nodded.

“Will we still get our dinner?” Mary frowned “Like, we said we would do a beef roast this year.” “I’ll still make you a roast.” Fliss smiled,  “As long as Evelyn is ok with it.” “Ok with what?” Evelyn asked, walking back into the room.

“With us staying until Mary is well enough to fly home.”  Frank looked at her.

“And Thanksgiving dinner.” Mary added.

“And dinner.” Frank nodded.

Evelyn looked at him “Well I assumed you would be staying with me until she was well enough to fly home, Francis…” Frank arched his eyebrow at the fact she’d dropped his full name and besides him Mary sniggered.

“Francis…that’s so lame…” “Hush.” he looked at her before he turned to his mother. “Are you sure?” “Of course, there’s plenty of room.” she said.

“Thanks. Who was on the phone?” Frank asked.

“Oh, just someone from the University asking how Mary was.” Evelyn shook her head, “No one important.”

“That all they wanted?” Frank asked, and Evelyn sighed

“I should have been on a call this afternoon.” “On a Saturday?” Frank looked at her.

“Research doesn’t stop at a weekend…” Evelyn glared at him. “But like I said, no important. I’ll catch up on what they wanted another time.” with that she rubbed at her eyes . Frank studied her for a moment and gave a sigh, she looked exhausted. They all did to be fair, but his mother was almost 65, she was bound to be feeling it a little more than he or Fliss.

“Why don’t you head off?” he asked. “Go catch up on whatever they wanted, get some sleep and come back in the morning…you too.” he turned to Fliss. Immediately she began to protest but Frank looked at her, shaking his head “Look, all that’s gonna happen is I’m gonna eat half of Mary’s dinner-“ “-hey!”

“-and fall asleep.” he finished, grinning as Mary glared at him over the threat regarding her food. “It’s 5 pm now…I guarantee by 8 I’ll be flat out.”

“Well then I’ll go at 8.” Fliss pouted.

Frank looked at her, about to argue but Evelyn stood up.

“I’ll call for my driver.” Evelyn said, “I’m not going to lie, I am dying for a hot bath and a bottle of Malbec.”

“I don’t want to go yet.” Fliss pouted.

Frank took a deep breath, “Really, we’re going to have this argument about you being a stubborn brat?” “No argument. I’m not going yet.” “I’ll go ahead.” Evelyn said, stepping in as she saw Frank glaring at Fliss “I could do with making sure the guest room is ready anyway and making a few calls. I’ll send the driver back for you in an hour or so?” Fiss took a deep breath and then sighed “Ok, fine.” Domestic argument averted, Evelyn bid Mary a good night, gently pecking her head before she turned to Frank who was sat next to Mary and surprisingly did the same to him. He swallowed and looked at her, frowning a bit. She looked like she was about to say something but didn’t, instead she stood up and told Fliss she would send her a set of keys back with the driver.

Frank watched her go before he turned to Fliss who looked at him, shrugging her shoulders.

“She clearly found her inner mom.” Mary said, and Frank looked down at her, “Something underneath the Mother.” “She’s always been mother.” Frank said “I’ve never once called her mom, not without her protesting anyway.”

“Her loss.” Mary shrugged and Frank frowned again, looking at Fliss.

“Why do you say that?”

“Coz Verity told me that being a mom and a nanna was the best thing ever.” she shrugged “If Evelyn’s only ever been a mother, well that sucks…” Frank stared down at her, utterly dumbfounded at her comment as she handed him the menu card “I’ll have the chicken, but no string beans…”

***** Little over an hour or so Fliss received a call telling her that the driver was waiting outside. Once they finished removing what Frank needed from the bag, Fliss turned to Mary and gave her a hug and kiss goodnight before Frank followed her out of the door.

“Call me when you’re home.” he said, and she nodded, stepping into his arms before she gave him a soft kiss.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can in the morning.” she said gently. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” he smiled, kissing her again “So much baby girl.” Smiling at the nickname she picked up the bag, and with a last peck to his lips she headed out.

The drive to Evelyn’s was reasonably quick, and Fliss soon found the car pulling off the main road onto a sweeping driveway and into a large, open courtyard. The house was big, bigger than her parents so it looked but it was hard to see much it was dark. She thanked the driver as he walked her up to the door with her bag, before handing her the keys. Once inside she found herself in an immaculate terracotta tiled hallway, illuminated by a very expensive looking floor lamp in the corner under the huge stair case. Fliss turned and gave the door a soft pull before she began to walk deeper into the house, bag deposited by the foot of the stairs. She headed into a large sitting area, which contained a pristine leather couch and matching arm chairs, large TV and followed that through to another area which contained a grand piano, a large table and numerous bookshelves. That led into a large kitchen with hanging, brushed copper lampshades, and the room looked as though it spanned the entire width of the house. She stepped inside and then through another door which led back into a hall, passing another two doors to her right, which were both closed.

Frowning, Fliss saw the front door was open slightly, she must not have shut it correctly, it was quite a heavy wooden one after all in comparison to their PVC one at the apartment and probably needed a little more than a quick tug. Making sure it was snapped shut and the lock had clicked she grabbed her back and made her way upstairs. She reached the top and then stood, looking round. The hallway circled back round the stairs, rooms on all four sides. With a shrug she headed down towards the first door an opened it. It was a spare room, but clearly where Mary had been staying. It was decorated in soft shades of dusky pinks and golds, and there was a small bookcase with a few children’s books, some puzzles and TV with a DVD player sat on top of it. Fliss smiled before she headed to the next one. This was a larger room with a huge double bed, and on top of it sat two sets of clean towels. Deciding this was likely to be the one Evelyn was prepping for them, Fliss dropped her back down, and shrugged off her jacket, glancing at the door that led to the en-suite. Taking a quick look inside she knew she really should find Evelyn before she did anything else so she continued down past the next room which was empty, then the huge bathroom with a roll top bath, until she reached the final one which was on the opposite side of the landing. She gave a soft knock, before she entered, glancing around at the opulent master bedroom as soft music hit her ears, along with the sounds of water sloshing in a tub.

“Evelyn?”

“Fliss?” the woman called back and Fliss headed over to the door of the en-suite.

“Yeah…sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you…”

“It’s quite alright, I won’t be too long. Have you found your room?”

“Yes, thank you.” “Ok, well, go and help yourself to a bottle of wine and run your own bath in the main bathroom. Fuck knows you can probably do with unwinding a little too.”

Although she knew Evelyn swore, the sound of the words from her mouth still made Fliss chuckle so after thanking her she headed back down the stairs to grab herself a bottle, as directed. She headed into the kitchen, and as she was passing the open door to her left which she assumed led into some kind of utility room, a movement caught her eye. She stopped, but before she could investigate further she saw a figure emerging from the shadows moving towards her. Automatically Fliss began to back away and she felt her eyes widen and her chest constrict in utter fear as the man’s features became clear as he strode into the soft light of the kitchen.  It was a face she hadn’t seen, other than in her worst memories and nightmares for years, not since she’d seen the court bailiffs lead him down from the dock after the jury had delivered their verdict. His cold grey eyes locked on to hers and he gave her a sinister smile.

“Long time no see Felicity.” John said, arching an eyebrow.  “You changed your hair.”

**** Chapter 24

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

[grillmastergideon]

[ GIDEON GRAY. 37. CISMALE. HE/HIS] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 8 YEARS ] and are originally from [ KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI ]. They are a [ FOOD TRUCK OWNER ] and in their downtime love [ BASKETBALL ] and [ WOODWORKING ]. They look a lot like [ ADLIS HODGE ] and live [ IN A TOWNHOUSE NEAR OASIS APARTMENTS ]. 

(please be aware that this bio has trigger warnings of the following: abuse, stalking, violence, prison, alzheimers)

the basics

- gideon aristotle gray, also known as deon or giddy if you’re feeling dangerous 

- 37 years old

- birthday, october 15

- born and raised in kansas city, missouri

the background

-came from a great and loving family; mother simone, father william, and little sister della

- his father was a legendary kansas city grillmaster, constantly winning competitions all over the country and they had a family restaurant for 35 years called ‘sweet simone’s”, named after his mother. (it was once featured on diners, drive-ins, and dives. thanks mr. fieri.)

- gideon’s love of cooking with his dad came a close second to his love of basketball. he was the all star of his high school basketball team, and was recruited and signed to an athletic scholarship to the university of kansas and played for the jayhawks -- bringing them to one NCAA championship in his time there. growing up watching players like kobe and shaq, his ultimate dream was to be drafted to play for the lakers. unfortunately, that dream didn’t get a chance to play out.

- his younger sister, della, had fallen in with, for lack of better words, an abusive asshole. when she had finally managed to free herself of him, he stalked her. the family went through the proper channel, calling the police and filing for a restraining order, but their voices were not heard and it went denied. gideon sent a set of texts to the man, warning him to never come near his sister or contact her again and laying out specific threats. one night, della called him in a panic because the man was trying to break into her apartment. gideon arrived moments later with a baseball bat, and it wasn’t just for show.

- that night, gideon was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon; his sister's abuser in the ICU with a spinal cord injury that left him without the ability to ever walk again.  the story made brief national headlines, but of course no one focused on the context of the situation. his parents sold ‘sweet simone’s’ in order to cover the legal costs.

-the threats gideon had made via text came back to bite him at trail. he was sentenced to ten years, but was eligible for parole. he served five years in jail before he was released for good behavior, being commended as a ‘model inmate’.  

- during his time in jail, gideon’s father had been diagnosed with alzheimers. it was hard to watch his father decline, but he was grateful to spend the time with him. it was difficult to find a job with a felony attached to his name, but he started as a dishwasher and worked his way up to a line cook by the time his father passed.

- in his will, gideon’s father had left his son a firebox full of recipe cards -- the family recipes and secret ingredients that had made his dad a legend. 

- his mother moved down to florida to live with her sister, and della had moved to chicago. He had no reason to stay tied to kansas city anymore, but where to go? well, why not move to the land of the lakers?

- he worked at the golden griddle for many years, saving up money and holding down odd jobs until he was able to purchase an old food truck off of craigslist. after fixing it up, ‘smokeshow barbeque’ was born!

-he’s had the truck for almost three years now, and it’s success continues to grow. he parks at festivals, caters parties, and hangs outside of bars at closing times with the people with munchies -- serving them good old fashioned barbeque and sides, but sometimes with fusion twists that leave the menu ever changing.

personality

-while my boy was definitely a cocky little fuck in his basketball days, he’s been truly humbled now. genuinely a good guy, tries not to let his temper get the best of him.

- cares about people, gives back to the community and causes that he cares about. once a month, all the proceeds from the truck are donated to ‘the innocence project’

- does yoga daily, please don't give him shit for it

- has two recuse cats named queenie and diamond

wanted connections

- as always, i'm up for almost anything! he’s been in silver lake for seven years, so established connections would be awesome! Friends, foes, exes, fwb, flirtationships, anything is on the table so feel free to hit me up in DM’s or message me at wanda maximoff apologist#2137 on discord!

#slintro #(intro) #abuse tw #stalking tw #violence tw #prison tw #alzheimers tw

[bakatenshii]

congrats on the followers!! you deserve it! i don’t know if I can’t see it/ I’m big dumb and missed it/ someone already asked- but I need a denki weed hc i just know that mf clears a bong like it’s his mf j o b

THANK U SO MUCH MY LOVE ( ˘ ³˘)♡︎♡︎ u didn’t miss it! hehe I just haven’t done it yet

I am fuckin READY for this denks stoner hc, I was born for it, I foam for him, he can literally smoke me up and leave me there greened out & I’d thank him. I’m a grade A: S-I-M-P for stoner Denki, lets fookin go lads

𝐷𝐸𝑁𝐾𝐼

Mister Kaminari the Plug Denki himself, finally. We’ve all established that hes not a regular stoner, he’s the blueprint

Top tier fuckboy stoner to the Tee, will offer girls to smoke them out at his and obnoxiously flirt with them the whole time. His pick-up line’s basically: I’ve got weed at mine, wanna’ come over? (I’d be there yesterday, pussy out)

That being said he doesn’t get pussy all that often, he gets too high & weed dick hits him and cockblocks him like a fuckin truck. He’s learning, though

Ridiculous collection of bongs, pipes, grinders, scales, his whole room looks like a dodgy weed shop where the owner checks out your tits before your fake ID

King of reading girls with the flavoured paper he uses. He may be bad at chatting them up normally, but he’ll know exactly what flavour of Juicy Jay to whip out for you. His personal fav’s mello mango, bcos he likes it sweet and tangy and it matches his eyes. Dumb stupid cheesy romantic.

Has an embarrassing section of pokemon-themed smoking accessorries. His fav & go-to is his massive pikachu bong, and if he uses that bong, he has to use the pokeball grinder. It’s some dumb superstition but he claims it’s his ‘brand’

Once upon a time he tried to light a bowl with his quirk, bcos he thought electricity can somehow generate fire. Idk don’t ask me I failed physics and clearly so did he. Now he just asks Bakugou to light it if he’s not got a lighter with him

Go-to munchies craving is watery mac n cheese or pizza with random chips he can find on it that he’ll dip in peanut butter or nutella. Standard really, no one’s surprised

Flirty high, funny high, giggly high, honestly would sell an organ to get fucking frassed outta my mind with him

Cuddly high too, super touchy esp if he’s with a girl. Will use it as an excuse to cuddle into her tits or her lap, cracks the shittiest jokes where they’ll both laugh at him rather than the joke

Dumb conspiracy theories, can and will chat about literally anything. He’ll smoke up by himself all the time and just put some dumb animal planet shit on TV (or pokemon)

Gets me h* just thinkin bout it but my man clears the bong like it is no body’s business; like it’s his mf day job, night job, and side hustle, all at once. One hit and inhales it all like a fuckin champ. Doesn’t cough, doesn’t flinch, he’s a purebred certified legend. Deffo going down in stoner history.

Rolls the fucking prettiest straightest joints known to mankind, Guinness World Record of the most perfect gd joint award. His pretty dainty fingers are pure magic, he can backstrap with his eyes closed and hands behind his back. Can roll in 5 secs flat. Truly, in every essence of the word, iconique

Indica, sativa, hybrid, shatter, dabs, edibles he’ll do them all, depending on the occasion. Weed pen with THC oil if he’s tryna be lowkey, shatter pen if he’s tryna impress, hits the dab bcos hes a walking talking meme first and a pikachu-hybrid man second.

Prefers weed candy over baked pastry, thinks theyre cuter and more ‘portable’

Summer 2016 rap music, Lil Uzi Vert vs The World, Drake, Rae Sremmurd, shitty fuckboy music. Also has a high sex playlist bcos he’s a beg and he thinks he’s gonna get laid

Hotboxes his dorm all the time, they’ve stopped tryna stop him bcos they realized he’s high all the time anyways, and fears how feral he’ll be if he’s sober

#THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG #IM SORRY #man #i made this post with 3 people in mind #3 specific characters #guess #im sure u can guess #anyways #IN SHORT: denki is the stoner bf of my dreams come raw me into next year <333 #god i love him #I LOVE U TOO THANK U FOR SENDING IN MY BOY DENKA #WE KNEW HIS PIKA PIKA ASS IS THE KING OF WEED #sorry these r taking longer than expected bcos my brain juice isnt pumpin like i want it to #:(((( #sowwy my loves #thank u for ur patience #<333 #denki #420 with baka #more like 420 with baka AND denki

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch23: Full Circle

Chapter Summary: Mary takes a trip to Boston, but it doesn’t go exactly according to plan and both Frank and Fliss find themselves making a return to the very place they both ran from.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Nothing major in this, except please bear with me…I’m a Brit so don’t have a wonderful knowledge of the US Health service… thanks to those of you who helped me with this one, you know who you are… ;-)

Chapter Song:  Eye Of The Storm by Ryan Stevenson

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist 

In the eye of the storm, you remain in control, and in the middle of the war, you guard my soul, you alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn, your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm.

"You got everything?" Frank looked at Mary as she shrugged her pink backpack over her shoulder and nodded at him, grinning. "All set..." "Have a good time sweetie!" Fliss grinned as she bent to give her a hug. "I'll make sure Monty is ok, and Fred gets his ping pong ball." Mary wrapped her arms around Fliss, squeezing her before she turned to Frank and did the same. "Call or message me when you land." Frank straightened up as Mary turned to climb in the car as Evelyn held the door open. It was in instruction, not a request and that didn’t pass Evelyn by. She looked at him, smiled and nodded. "Of course. Our flight is due into Boston at 10pm so I'll let you know straight away." Frank nodded and Fliss slipped an arm around his waist as Evelyn settled into the car, the door closing behind them. "She'll be fine..." Fliss gave his hip a gentle squeeze as they both waved the car off, Thor playfully bounding after it for 2 or 3 strides, barking. "It’s only 2 nights sailor...she'll be back Sunday evening" "I know..." he sighed, turning to face her. "And I know it’s different to the last time she went..."

“But that won’t stop you worrying, I know.” Fliss said, as she gently slid her arms round his neck.

“Stupid, huh?” Frank sighed, his hands falling to her hips.

“No, not at all. You’re behaving like any dad would…” “I’m not her dad.” Frank shook his head.

“And Bill isn’t mine, biologically.” Fliss looked at him, her head tilting to one side. “I’ve told you before, don’t sell yourself short.”

Frank took a deep breath and looked down at Fliss, her large brown eyes studying his.

“What you wanna do tonight?” he asked, changing the subject. It always made him feel slightly uncomfortable being referred to as Mary’s Father, it was almost like he was betraying Diane’s memory in a way. It was stupid, illogical, he knew, as he was her father, in every way but biologically…but still.

"How about you take me for a ride in the new truck?" Fliss smiled. “I’ve not sat in it yet!”

Frank looked over her shoulder for a moment at the sleek, shiny new silver Mitsubishi Triton he’d taken delivery of that morning. He smiled a little, before he looked at Fliss, his hands flexing on her waist as he had an idea. "Why don't we see what's on at the Drive In up at Tampa? Good trip to give it a test and we can take the blankets and cool box up, sit on the back?" "Ooooh, sounds great!" Fliss grinned "grab some munchies too!" Frank nodded, giving her a peck on the lips before they headed back up to the apartment. The evening film turned out to be Bohemian Rhapsody which Fliss was eager to see and after checking the time they packed up the truck with what they needed before hitting the road. Fliss was taken with the modern interior of the new vehicle, fiddling about with the dials and the screen on the centre console, tuning the radio in and programming the rest of the stuff which Frank couldn't give a crap out. The only thing useful on there in his opinion was the built in GPS. "Did Greg call you today?" Frank asked Fliss as she sat in the seat beside him. She turned to face him, frowning. "I thought I told you?" Frank shook his head, glancing at her. "Oh God, Frank, I’m sorry!" She slapped her palm to her forehead and groaned, shaking her head. Frank chuckled and reached out to squeeze her knee. "Honey, its ok" he assured her, giving her a smile which she returned. He knew why she had been quick to apologise. As part of their moving forward since their little 'blip' as Frank referred to it a few weeks back, Fliss had agreed one hundred percent disclosure on anything and everything to do with her ass hat ex and she didn't want him thinking she was holding out. Another part of the deal was they went to the police. After seeing the evidence and taking statements they had questioned John, who of course had denied it. Given that the evidence was circumstantial the prosecution had told Fliss that they wouldn't be pursuing it further however, upon learning this Greg, had taken matters into his own hands and was pushing for further action. Given that the weight of probability with John's history, swayed towards him being responsible Greg was actively yet unofficially harassing the Assistant District Attorney in Suffolk County (who he knew from Law School) to at least consider holding a Grand Jury Hearing. "He hasn't heard back from his pal at the DAs office yet." Fliss shrugged, her eyes moving back to the road "Mind you, John's been quiet though for the last month now since the photo. Part of me wonders if pushing for this is just gonna kick the Hornets nest so to speak." "Maybe." Frank mused. "But Greg seems confident if we can get him up in front of a Grand Jury, they'd without a doubt decide there was a case to answer." "Greg just wants to second chair the Prosecution" Fliss grinned and Frank snorted. "Yeah he has taken it kinda personally..." he nodded, before he sighed and reached out for her left hand which was now nervously twisting the fingers of her right. He pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles before he linked his fingers with his and dropped his hand to the arm rest between them. He didn't mention it again. Instead they concentrated on enjoying themselves and once at the Drive In, Frank reversed the truck so the flat bed was facing the lager screen. They sat in the back, cool box of beer and snacks at their disposal, huddled together and enjoyed their film, sharing the odd lingering, deep kiss that left the pair of them smiling and grinning like a couple of teenagers on the back row. Once the film was finished they headed home via one of the All Night Diners on the for a shake and some pie, at which point Frank received a photo message from Evelyn that showed Mary asleep in the back of her car, accompanied by the words "Safe and Sound" and a promise that Mary would call in the morning. He passed the phone to Fliss who grinned at the image. "See, nothing to worry about." She said gently, passing him the phone back. "I'm not worried..." he began to protest but Fliss simply arched an eyebrow and he let out a soft sigh "ok, maybe a little..." "It;s gonna be fine. She's going to come back full of tales about what a great time she had and that's the most important thing here Frank. You said you wanted her to be happy. Clearly, having Evelyn in her life is what she wants." "I know, I know...you're right." He nodded, before his attention flicked to the waitress who was bringing them their food. Once finished they made their way back home and decided to take Thor for a quick walk down to the Marina. It was dark, and getting a little bit chilly (well, as chilly as it ever got in South Pas) but it was nice none the less, just taking the time to themselves in the moonlight. As they walked and talked, Frank felt the veil of anxiety he had been feeling about Mary’s trip lift slightly and he started to relax properly. It was hard not to, he loved spending time with Fliss like this, just doing simple things alone and it didn’t escape him how if you had asked him 18 months ago if he would be spending his Friday Nights walking down the Marina with his girlfriend of a year he would have laughed.

At that he stopped.

A year.

Fuck.

“Lissy…” he pulled her back to him. “It’s our anniversary tomorrow.”

“I know.” she smiled “I take it you just remembered?”

“No…” he started to protest, and then gave a laugh as she arched an eyebrow at him, calling him out.

“You’re so full of shit.”

“Ok, so…maybe I did just remember but that’s only because every day with you feels as special as our first date.” “Oh fuck you Adler!” she snorted and he laughed, tilting his head back, his right hand flying to his chest. “That’s is such a shit line.” “Ok, ok, sorry!” he chuckled, tilting his head to look at her. “I’ve never been in this position before so cut me some slack huh!”

“Well, I’m not expecting a card or flowers or any crap like that.” she smiled “It’s not like it’s a wedding anniversary, which, for the record, when we get married, you forget one of those I would smother you to death in your sleep…” “When…” Frank looked at her, a soft smile on his face.

“I mean if…” she flushed, biting her lip.

“Nope, you said when…”

“Piss off.”

“So you don’t wanna marry me?”

“I didn’t say that?”

“So you do then…” “Frank, seriously, shut up!” she said, laughing hitting him on his chest.

“Ok, ok…” he laughed, his hand dropping round her shoulder. They continued their walk, looping around the marina to start the head home, when after a few moment she spoke again “But, hypothetically speaking, if I was to ask…” Fliss took a deep breath as they continued to walk, before she stopped and looked up at him. “Hypothetically?” “Of course…”

She smiled, and looked down slightly, before she grinned up at him “Then it would totally depend on what ring you got me.”

“Materialistic…” Frank nodded, “Noted.”

She shoved him again and he looked at her, “What?” he asked through his chuckle.

“I wonder why I love you at times.” “No you don’t” he said gently and it was her turn to laugh as she shook her head.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t”

“You’ve still not answered my question…” he said, looking at her.

“Ask it properly and maybe I will.” she sassed back.

Frank felt his face split into a grin because that was all the damned answer he needed. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before he pulled her close and they headed home, Thor running in front of them barking at the lights that were reflecting on the dark water.

******

Frank blinked. It took him a while to realise what had woken him, but his phone was ringing. Reaching for it with a yawn he looked at it, and as soon as the called ID registered he sat bolt upright and answered. "Mother?" He frowned, his voice thick from sleep "What's happened?" "Don't panic..." she spoke immediately, and he felt his chest contract straight away in worry as she continued "but we're on the way to hospital..." "Why, what's going on?" He asked, as Fliss stirred next to him as he began to push the covers down, before swinging his legs so he was sat on the edge if his bed. "Mary started complaining of pains in her stomach just before bed. She seemed to settle after some pain relief but woke about half an hour ago screaming. So I decided call an ambulance." Evelyn's voice was calm but Frank could sense the underlying current of anxiety "they're here now and they want to take her in, they think its appendicitis..." There was a pause as someone said something to her on the other side and then Frank could hear Mary's soft crying and he felt a lump in his throat. "Ok, where are they taking her?" He asked "Cambridge?" "Yes." Evelyn spoke "Frank, I need to go but I'll call you as soon as I have news." "Ok." Frank nodded, standing up "I'll be there as soon as I can" Evelyn didn't argue, she simply promised once more to call as soon as there was an update and he hit cancel. "Frank?" Fliss asked softly, clicking on the lamp as he turned to face her. "What...."

"It's Mary." Frank looked at Fliss as he moved the wardrobe and pulled out a bag "She's been taken ill, they're err...taking her to hospital. I need to go..."

"Hospital?" Fliss threw the covers off the bed "What for?" "Suspected appendicitis..." Frank said, as he tossed the kit bag onto the bed "I don't know much more but..."

He took a deep breath as Fliss reached out for him, and he fell into her arms as she gently gave him a hug. He pulled away and ran a hand over his face.

"Ok, first thing's first..." Fliss said, looking at him "We need flights..."

"Flights?" "Yeah, you can't drive there Frank." Fliss looked at him, "It will take you a day..." "Yeah, yeah..." he nodded, realising that his plan to simply jump in his truck and floor it was a ridiculous one, before he frowned "hang on, we?"

"Yes, we. You're not going on your own." "I don't want you back in Boston." Frank shook his head. "Not whilst..."

"Frank, I'm not having this argument with you." Fliss said sternly "Fuck John. This is Mary. I'm coming, end of discussion." Frank looked at her for a moment, her face was stern leaving him absolutely no doubt she was being serious. If he was 100% honest with himself, he didn't want to go without her either, so with a deep breath he nodded.

"I’ll sort the flights..." she said, nodding ."And then I'll call my mum and dad...they can come get Thor and Fred. Where's your ID?" "Kitchen drawer." he said, as he began pulling a few items of clothing and stuffing them in the bag. She nodded and headed out of the room, the lights in the hallway flicking on as she went. He shoved what he had pulled from his drawers into his bag. He hated this, he'd always been there when Mary was sick, and the fact he was a damned 3 hour flight away was killing him.

"Ok, so Dad's on his way over, and the first flight out is 6.15 which gets us in at 9.20." Fliss said, coming back, her phone in her hand "So that gives us...just under 3 hours." she said.

Frank nodded and that was the confirmation she needed, and she tapped a button nodding. "Ok, that's done. So you're gonna need your paperwork, insurance etc..." "Yeah, that's..." he frowned, "erm..." "Filed with everything else." she looked at him, "It's in the drawer in the bureau."

"Ok..." "And we should probably take some more stuff for Mary." Fliss looked at him, "She's gonna be there a little longer than anticipated so she'll need more clothes, pyjamas...maybe a few books...want me to sort it?" "Please..." he smiled softly at her, thankful that she seemed to have taken control.

She nodded and headed into Mary's room and began to pull a selection of things for her together, returning with them moments later. They spent the next 15 minutes gathering what they needed before they both dressed, and then there was a soft knock on the door. Frank made his way to answer when his phone rang again.

"I'll get the door honey." Fliss spoke softly as he answered the call.

"Mr Adler?" "Speaking." "This is Ava Fields calling from Cambridge Hospital...I just need to collect some details from you regarding Mary...I believe you're the Minor's official guardian?"

Frank took a deep breath and confirmed the status with the woman, and then headed into the living room, nodding slightly to Bill as he went to the file which Fliss had placed on the dining room table. Flicking through he found his policy details, number and proceeded to recite the information over the phone.

"Listen..." he spoke to the woman once he had finished "I'm in Florida at the moment, but I'll be flying up as soon as I can...in the meantime, could it be possible to delegate responsibility when I'm not reachable to Evelyn Adler, she's Mary's grandmother, my mother...she came in with her. I don't want anything to be held up whilst I'm in the air..." "No, of course Mr Adler." The woman spoke kindly, "I'll make a note that you're happy for Mrs Adler to be the point of contact until you arrive...now have a safe trip and try not to worry." Yeah, right.

With a thanks he cut the call and immediately dialled his mother.

"Any news?" he demanded.

"The doctor has just arrived." Evelyn spoke quietly "He's doing a quick physical then I suspect she'll be taken up for some tests or..." "Ok, well our flight leaves at 6:15." he said, walking back into the bedroom "Arrives in Mass at 9:20."

"I'll send a car for you." Evelyn said.

"Thanks." Frank said "Oh, and I've told the hospital that if they can't reach me to defer to you. I hope that's ok." "Of course it's ok Frank." Evelyn replied softly "She is my granddaughter." "Just call me the minute there's any news." he said, ignoring her sudden softness. "Sure." Evelyn said "And keep me posted as to where you are." With a goodbye Frank slid the phone into his pocket and unplugged the charger before he threw that into the bag along with his documents before he zipped it up and lifted it, along with the smaller one which contained Mary's stuff and headed into the hall.

"Hey Bill..." he said with a sigh, dropping the bags to the floor "Sorry, I wasn't being rude..." "Stop." Bill shook his head, cutting Frank’s apology off "How is she?" "Still being examined. I should know more shortly." he took a deep breath, looking at Fliss "Mother's sending a car for us once we land."

"Ok." Fliss said "I couldn't get two seats together but we're a row behind one another..." Frank nodded, it wasn't important. What was important was that they simply got there.

"Deep breath..." Fliss said softly, her hands resting on his arms "Have we packed everything?"

He nodded, running over the list in his head and Bill reached for one of the bags. "Ok, let's get going..."

"Dad's gonna drop us at the airport." Fliss said, "Save us having to sort out Car parking..." "Thanks." Frank looked at Bill, who waved his gratitude away.

"No problems...all set?" "Jacket." Fliss looked at Frank and he cursed, heading back into the bedroom. Grabbing the warmest one he owned, which was a dark grey Super-Dry zip up he carried it back into the hall and the three of them headed down to Bill's Range Rover.

15 minutes into the trip he had another call from Evelyn to say Mary was being taken up for scans as soon as possible.

"The initial examination seems to confirm it's appendicitis..." she said "They've given her a sedative for the pain and once the scans are done, if its confirmed they're going to need to operate. The good news is it doesn't appear to have ruptured so it can be done via a laparoscopy..." "Yeah, that's wonderful..." Frank said sarcastically before he sighed "Sorry, I'm just worried..." "I know." Evelyn said "But she's in the best place Frank." "Yeah..." he sighed, looking out of the window. "Thanks...keep in touch." He explained to Fliss and Bill who were both looking at him questioningly before they fell silent again, no one speaking for the rest of the journey, which took them just over 35 minutes in total. After giving Bill quick instructions for Thor and Fred, and the man promising to call Alan and Joanne for them, as it was unlikely they would be back on Monday, they both gave him a hug and Bill gently slapped Frank's back slightly, in as Fatherly a manner as he could have done.

Check in and security took them about 40 minutes to clear, meaning by the time the hit the lounge they had roughly an hour before they could start boarding. Fliss suggested they grabbed a coffee and Frank agreed, even though he didn't particularly want one, he knew it was a way of passing the time. He was also getting antsy as there hadn't been any more news from his mother or the hospital. Fliss directed him to sit on the tan, leather sofas in the Coffee Bar area of the lounge and headed to the counter to place their order. Whilst she waited she turned to glance at Frank, to see he had crossed one long leg over the other and was rubbing at his forehead with his hand. She knew he was worried, hell, they both were, but Frank was normally the level-headed one out of the pair of them, more often than not being the one bringing Fliss down from a rage when Mary came home and told about something a kid at school had said to her, even when Mary didn’t actually give a shit herself. But now the tables had turned and Fliss knew she had to be the calm one despite the fact she herself felt anything but.

Taking the coffees with a smile she turned and headed over to where he was sat, placing the mugs on the small table in front of them and then dropping gently into the seat besides him.

“Thanks.” he murmured, before he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked it again.

"She’ll be ok Frank." Fliss said gently, her hand dropping to his knee.

"She's gonna be so scared Fliss" Frank sighed, his hand sliding into hers "A strange place, in pain, and ...I'm not there..." "No, but you will be as soon as we can." Fliss soothed.

"What if they operate, and then she wakes up and..."Frank's voice croaked "I promised I'd look after her and..."

"Hey..." Fliss said softly, her fingers tightening around his "You do look after her. No one could have predicted she would fall ill, that isn't something you can control, ok? I know it’s easier said than done but try and concentrate, keep a clear head. So when you do get news you can digest it rationally ok?"

"I know going back can't be easy for you." he looked at her, "But I'm glad you're here...I don't know what I'd have done without you before..."

"Probably jumped in your truck in nothing but your boxers." She said and he gave a soft chuckle.

"Probably" he agreed, reaching out for his up of coffee. Fliss watched him for a second before she cocked her head to one side.

“Your hairs getting kinda long, well, long for you anyway...” she mused. ”Beard too...”

“I know...it all needs a cut.” he said, running his hands through it. He’d noticed the other day that it was far longer than he normally wore it and had taken to parting it slightly at the side. She was right, his beard was also a little thicker too, instead of being a slightly thick layer of stubble it was now a fairly substantial covering of hair, although that wasn’t intentional, his trimmers had broken about 3 weeks back and he’d yet to get himself a new pair.

“I like it.” Fliss mused 

“Yeah?”

She nodded.  “Makes you look...I dunno, like older maybe...but good older. I can’t explain...”

“Hmm, well maybe I’ll keep it for a while...just get the sides trimmed...”

Fliss smiled, having diverted his attention for a little while and they made small talk for the rest of the time before their flight called and they headed to the gate. He called Evelyn to inform her they were boarding and she told him that they were still waiting for a doctor to come by with the scans results. That frustrated him, as it had been almost 2 hours since they had said they were referring her for one but there was nothing he could do about it.

They found their seats, Frank shoving their bags into any space in the overhead locker he could find and thankfully, the man next to Frank was happy to swap seats when Fliss explained the situation to him, meaning they could sit together. Whilst Frank had earlier stated it wasn't important he was glad he was by his side. He could take her hand, feel her presence which itself was calming.

The flight itself felt like the longest 3 hours of Frank's life. He tried to concentrate on a film, but that didn't work. Nor did the paper from the flight attendant, or trying to talk to Fliss. After 40 minutes he just settled into a contemplative silence, his mind working overtime, simply taking Fliss' hand in his as he willed away the minutes. Eventually, their descent into Logan was announced and after Fliss spoke to the flight attendant again, they were allowed to exit the aircraft first. Frank was back on his phone as soon as they walked off, and Evelyn answered immediately saying Mary had been taken down to surgery approximately 50 minutes ago. She assured Frank that Mary had been ok, knew he was on his way, and Evelyn had been with her whilst she fell asleep, which was something at least.

As they were travelling with their bags in the cabin, once they cleared security they didn’t have to wait for luggage reclaiming, and they strode quickly into the arrivals lounge where they were met by their driver who Frank greeted with a nod. They followed him outside to the sleek grey Mercedes and both climbed into the rear once Frank had tossed their bags into the trunk.  Fliss gently placed her hand on Frank's knee as his leg was shaking and he shot her a small smile as he looked out of the window at the sights of the city he had left behind almost 8 years ago.

Nothing had changed, nothing of notice anyway. A few new housing developments here and there but as they made their way through to Cambridge it appeared to be the same leafy suburb he had once called home. Although he knew Fliss had lived in Concorde, this had to be jolting memories for her and it seemed he was right as he glanced sideways at her and noticed a look of contemplation on her face.

"You ok?" he asked, and she smiled, nodding.

“Was just thinking about how beautiful it all looks this time of year." He smiled softly and they fell into silence again, and less than 20 minutes after leaving the airport they pulled up outside the hospital. The driver hopped out and opened the trunk so they could grab their bags before they thanked the man and headed inside straight to reception. The woman greeted him, gave him the relevant floor and Ward name along with a room number, informing him Mary had her own private area which he was glad about.

"Come on..." Frank urged the elevator as it ascended to the floor they needed, tapping his foot on the floor. After what felt like hours, the doors opened and he strode out, his hand round Fliss' as they checked the signs on the wall.

"This way..." Fliss said, tugging on his arm. She gently led him to the right and they checked the numbers on the doors before they reached Mary's. Without knocking Frank opened the door and Evelyn's head snapped up.

"Where's Mary?" Frank demanded as he spotted the bed was missing from the room. "Not back from theatre." Evelyn said, standing up and Fliss smiled at her, taking in her appearance. She was as casually dressed as Fliss had ever seen her, in a pair of jeans and a sweater, her hair pulled back into a pony tail and she noted how soft and almost maternal it actually made her look in contrast to her usual School Mistress appearance. "It shouldn't be long now...as soon as she's out they'll be taking her to the post anaesthetic care unit and come down to get us."

Frank dropped the bag he was carrying to the floor and walked to the window, taking a glance out, chewing the inside of his lip. Fliss watched him for a moment before she turned to Evelyn as she spoke.

"Good flight?" the woman asked, clearly trying to make conversation.

"Yeah." Fliss nodded "Felt like it took an age but..."

At that moment there was a knock on the door before it opened and they all turned to see a doctor step into the room.

"How is she?" Frank asked immediately.

"Mr Adler I presume?" The light haired man smiled at him. "I'm Dr Jeffords. Mary is fine, the operation went without hitch. If you come with me I'll take you up to PACU...but I'm afraid only 2 of you can come..." Frank took a deep breath and immediately looked to Fliss, who turned to Evelyn. "Evelyn, you can..." "No." she shook her head, "You go..."

"You can take turns if you wish." The doctor said gently "She shouldn't be in there for too long, once she's come round and her vitals are stable she'll be brought back down so..." Evelyn nodded and Fliss turned to Frank as he took her hand. With a final nod to his mother they followed the Doctor to the elevator.

"Just to prepare you, she does have an IV line in and could be a little groggy at first..." The doctor spoke as they followed him down a corridor. "That's all perfectly normal..."

Frank nodded as the Doctor opened a door to their right and Frank saw Mary for the first time in the middle of the bed at the far side.  She looked so small and there was a nurse stood by her, checking something on a screen.

"Oh, Jesus… Fliss, look..." Frank's voice caught in his throat and Fliss gently rubbed at his back.

"It looks worse than it is." Doctor Jeffords assured him "Like I said, there were no complications we just need to monitor her for a while until she comes round fully. Now if you need anything or have any worries, please just grab one of the nurses, and I'll be back in about half an hour to check on her. By the she should be with it enough to take back to her room."

Fliss thanked the Doctor as Frank walked over to Mary's bed, bending down gently to kiss the top of her head, his hand brushing her hair back off her face. She gently placed her hand between Frank's shoulder blades as the two of them stood looking down at Mary, Fliss' hand rubbing soft circles over Frank's grey t-shirt as he took a deep breath. "She looks so small." Frank said softly "I never considered how little she was really" "She's not." Fliss chuckled. "She is to you because you're big." "Big?" Frank looked at her and she shrugged, smiling. "Yeah you're tall...broad shouldered..." she mused, her eyes flicking back to Mary, her hand falling from his shoulders to the base of his back. "I'm 6ft, it's not that tall..." Frank's lips curled into a smile "Your brother is taller than me, Bill is the same size..." "Steve is an animal." Fliss said, shaking her head "he was 6ft at the age of 14. Ridiculous." At that Mary made a little noise, and her face creased up, eyes closed. "Hey..." Frank said softly, his hand reaching out again, gently brushing her cheek. "Hey Stack..."

Mary made a noise, and then her face screwed up and she began to try and push herself into a sitting position.

“Hey, hey…”  Frank moved so he was stood further up the bed, gently bending over so his hands fell either side of her. “Just…stay calm, its ok…”

But even as he spoke she became even more visibly distressed, and no matter what he said she didn’t respond. He looked up at Fliss, helplessly, his eyes filling with tears and Fliss took a deep breath, swallowing as she called over for a nurse.

“I know this looks horrible…” the Nurse said softly as she strode over, “But she’s experiencing something we call Emergence Delirium, very common in children…” “What...what do I do?” Frank asked, shaking his head, his eyes still fixed on Mary as she yelled out, her arms flailing “I can’t…”

“There’s nothing you can do really other than gently talk to her, stay calm, be reassuring…” the Nurse said gently. “I promise you, she won't remember any of this when she comes round fully Mr Adler, it’s worse for you than her…”

Frank gently placed his hand on Mary’s forehead and at his touch she seemed to relax a little, so encouraged slightly he began to hum the melody to God Only Knows by the Beach Boys, something he had always sung to her as a small child, a song she’d grown up with and they now sang along to in the car on occasions. Fliss moved to his side, her arm curling round his waist as she simply stood with him, lending him comfort and eventually, Mary blinked, her eyes opening and when they focussed on Frank she gave him a small smile.

Frank let out the breath he had been holding and wiped his eyes hastily before she realised he’d been crying.

"Hey Stack." he said gently, looking at her, his hand softly stroking her cheek. "Welcome back."

She blinked again, and then looked to Fliss, her face cracking into an even bigger smile and Fliss reached down and gently placed a kiss on her head.

“Hey baby.” Fliss smiled.

“Evelyn…” Mary coughed slightly, her voice croaky and she looked at Frank “She said you were on your way…” “I got on a plane as soon as I could.” he said, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier.” “Where is she?”

“She’s in your room.” Frank said “Only 2 of us were allowed in here at once.” “Do you want me to go get her?” Fliss said.

“But then you would have to go.” Mary frowned.

“Yeah, but if you want Evelyn that’s fine…” “No.” Mary shook her head and Frank gently curled his hand around Fliss’. Mary closed her eyes again before she opened them and looked at Frank “Where’s Fred.” Frank let out a snort “I couldn’t bring a cat in here with me, Stack. Bill and Verity have him.” “And his ping pong balls?” “And his ping pong balls.” Fliss assured her.

“Oh, ok.” Mary looked at them both “That’s fine. Hey, did you bring me any snacks?”

Frank looked at Fliss, the pair of them sharing a grin before Frank shook his head “No, but when the doctor says it’s ok I’ll go get you whatever you want.” “Good, Evelyn wouldn’t let me have any chips last night.” she said, wrinkling her face “I know I’ve said this before but she really is bossy…” *******

When the Doctor returned he began his examination to make sure Mary was ok to move back to her room, and Fliss had to snort at the way Mary started demanding an in depth report on what exactly the Operation had done. Doctor Jeffords looked at Frank, who merely rolled his eyes and gestured for him to answer so, with an amused expression he did just that. Mary quizzed him for a good 15 minutes until Frank stepped in and told her that the poor man had other people to go and see, not just her.

Little over 20 minutes after the Doctor left they were back in Mary’s room, and she seemed fairly bright. Frank had been momentarily dumbfounded when he had seen his mother reach over to hug Mary, tears in her eyes when she had returned to her room. But Mary didn’t act like it was a big issue, so he could only assume that his mother must have hugged her before, and it struck him as being a little sad how surprised he was by this realisation.

The three of them sat with her, the TV on the wall playing something in the background. Frank made sure her laptop was charged so she had something to do as well in case she decided she was getting bored. They Face-timed Bill and Verity who were both over the moon to see Mary ok, and they talked to them for a good forty minutes, Mary demanding to see Fred and Thor as well, Bill making good natured grumblings about how he was offended she didn’t really want to see him. All in all, the day passed fairly quickly and at about 4pm another Nurse popped in to ask if Mary wanted something to eat. She nodded eagerly and when they returned with a list of what she could have, Frank sat next to her and they began to decide. Fliss smiled softly at the sight of him, sat up on the bed, arm looped round the headboard as they both pulled a face at something on the menu, shaking their heads.

“String beans by any chance?” Evelyn asked, clocking the exchange and Frank looked up at her.

“How did you guess?”

“You always hated them as a child and do does she….” Evelyn said, a little distractedly as her phone began to ring. She glanced at the number and then looked at Frank “Sorry, do you…” “No, go ahead.” He said, nodding. She answered the call as she left the room, Fliss watching her go before she turned to Frank as Mary looked at him.

“Are you staying here with me tonight?” “Course I am.” he assured her “I’m not leaving until you can come home.” “And that’s tomorrow?” “If they’re happy you’re ok, yeah, tomorrow. Although you won’t’ be able to fly back to Florida for a while.” “Does that mean we’re gonna be at Evelyn’s for Thanksgiving?” Frank paused for a moment, he hadn’t even thought about that, or in fact where they were going to stay whilst Mary recovered. His mother’s was the logical option, despite how he had no desire to step foot in her house ever again, but that wasn’t important. What was important was Mary, and being at his mother’s was going to be a damned sight better for her than a hotel.

“Looks like it.” he nodded.

“Will we still get our dinner?” Mary frowned “Like, we said we would do a beef roast this year.” “I’ll still make you a roast.” Fliss smiled,  “As long as Evelyn is ok with it.” “Ok with what?” Evelyn asked, walking back into the room.

“With us staying until Mary is well enough to fly home.”  Frank looked at her.

“And Thanksgiving dinner.” Mary added.

“And dinner.” Frank nodded.

Evelyn looked at him “Well I assumed you would be staying with me until she was well enough to fly home, Francis…” Frank arched his eyebrow at the fact she’d dropped his full name and besides him Mary sniggered.

“Francis…that’s so lame…” “Shuddup.” he looked at her before he turned to his mother. “Are you sure?” “Of course, there’s plenty of room.” she said.

“Thanks. Who was on the phone?” Frank asked.

“Oh, just someone from the University asking how Mary was.” Evelyn shook her head, “No one important.”

“That all they wanted?” Frank asked, and Evelyn sighed

“I should have been on a call this afternoon.” “On a Saturday?” Frank looked at her.

“Research doesn’t stop at a weekend as well you know.” Evelyn glared at him. “But like I said, not important. I’ll catch up on what they wanted another time.” with that she rubbed at her eyes . Frank studied her for a moment and gave a sigh, she looked exhausted. They all did to be fair, but his mother was almost 65, she was bound to be feeling it a little more than he or Fliss.

“Why don’t you head off?” he asked. “Go catch up on whatever they wanted, get some sleep and come back in the morning…you too.” he turned to Fliss. Immediately she began to protest but Frank looked at her, shaking his head “Look, all that’s gonna happen is I’m gonna eat half of Mary’s dinner-“ “-hey!”

“-and fall asleep.” he finished, grinning as Mary glared at him over the threat regarding her food. “It’s 5 pm now…I guarantee by 8 I’ll be flat out.”

“Well then I’ll go at 8.” Fliss pouted.

Frank looked at her, about to argue but Evelyn stood up.

“I’ll call for my driver.” Evelyn said, “I’m not going to lie, I am dying for a hot bath and a bottle of Malbec.”

“I don’t want to go yet.” Fliss pouted.

Frank took a deep breath, “Really? We’re actually going to have this argument?” “No argument. I’m not going yet.” “I’ll go ahead.” Evelyn said, stepping in as she saw Frank glaring at Fliss “I could do with making sure the guest room is ready anyway and making a few calls. I’ll send the driver back for you in an hour or so, give you a little more time.” Fiss took a deep breath and then sighed “Ok, fine.” Domestic argument averted, Evelyn bid Mary a good night, gently pecking her head before she turned to Frank who was sat next to Mary and surprisingly did the same to him. He swallowed and looked at her, frowning a bit. She looked la little startled, like she hadn’t meant to do it, and to be fair she probably hadn’t, and then she made as if to speak but instead she stood up and told Fliss she would send her a set of keys back with the driver.

Frank watched her go before he turned to Fliss.

“Ok now that was weird.” he mumbled, she aint so much as hugged me in god knows how long, let alone given me a kiss...” Fliss looked at him, shrugging her shoulders.

“She clearly found her inner mom.” Mary said, and Frank looked down at her, “Something underneath Mother.”

“She’s always been mother.” Frank said “I’ve never once called her mom.”

“Her loss.” Mary shrugged and Frank frowned again, looking at Fliss.

“Why do you say that?”

“Coz Verity told me that being a mom and a nanna was the best thing ever.” she shrugged “If Evelyn’s only ever been a mother, well that sucks…” Frank stared down at her, utterly dumbfounded at her comment  as once again her little mind had managed to see something so clearly, in such an innocent way, and it made perfect and utter sense that she was most likely right.

Mary smiled at him as she handed him the menu card and simply told him “I’ll have the chicken, but no string beans…”

***** Little over an hour or so Fliss received a call telling her that the driver was waiting outside. Once they finished removing what Frank needed from the bag for an overnight stay, she turned to Mary and gave her a hug and kiss goodnight before Frank followed her out of the door.

“Let me know when you get to Mother’s” he said, and she nodded, stepping into his arms before she gave him a soft kiss.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can in the morning.” she said gently. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” he smiled, kissing her again “So much baby girl.”

Smiling at the nickname she picked up the bag, and with a last peck to his lips she headed out.

The drive to Evelyn’s was reasonably quick, and Fliss soon found the car pulling off the main road onto a sweeping driveway and into a large, open courtyard. The house was big, bigger than her parents so it looked but it was hard to see much it was dark. She thanked the driver as he walked her up to the door with her bag, before handing her the keys. Once inside she found herself in an immaculate terracotta tiled hallway, illuminated by a very expensive looking floor lamp in the corner under the huge stair case. Fliss turned and gave the door a soft pull before she began to walk deeper into the house, bag deposited by the foot of the stairs. Pulling out her message to text Frank to say she’d arrived and would call him shortly, she headed into a large sitting area, which contained a pristine leather couch and matching arm chairs, large TV and followed that through to another area which contained a grand piano, a large table and numerous bookshelves. That led into a large kitchen with hanging, brushed copper lampshades, and the room looked as though it spanned the entire width of the house. She stepped inside and then through another door which led back into a hall, passing another two doors to her right, which were both closed.

Frowning, Fliss saw the front door was open slightly, she must not have shut it correctly, it was quite a heavy wooden one after all in comparison to their PVC one at the apartment and probably needed a little more than a quick shove. This tim she made sure the lock had clicked before she grabbed her bag and made her way upstairs. She reached the top and then stood, looking round. The hallway circled back round the stairs, rooms on all 4 sides. With a shrug she headed down towards the first door an opened it. It was a spare room, but clearly where Mary had been staying. It was decorated in soft shades of dusky pinks and golds, and there was a small bookcase with a few children’s books, some puzzles and TV with a DVD player sat on top of it. Fliss smiled before she headed to the next one. This was a larger room with a huge double bed, and on top of it sat two sets of clean towels. Deciding this was likely to be the one Evelyn was prepping for them Fliss dropped her back down, and shrugged off her jacket, glancing a the door that led to the en-suite. Taking a quick look inside she knew she really should find Evelyn before she did anything else so she continued down past the next room which was empty, then the huge bathroom with a roll top bath, until she reached the final one which was on the opposite side of the landing. She gave a soft knock, before she entered, glancing around at the opulent master bedroom as soft music hit her ears, along with the sounds of water sloshing in a tub.

“Evelyn?”

“Fliss?” the woman called back and Fliss headed over to the door of the en-suite.

“Yeah…sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you…” she spoke thorugh the door.

“It’s quite alright, I won’t be too long. Have you found your room?”

“Yes, thank you.” “Ok, well, go and help yourself to a bottle of wine and run your own bath in the main bathroom…fuck knows you can probably do with one too. Glasses are in the cabinet to the left of the sink.”

Although she knew Evelyn swore, the sound of the words from her mouth still made Fliss chuckle so after thanking her she headed back down the stairs to grab herself a bottle, as directed. She headed into the kitchen, and as she was passing the open door to her left which she had earlier assumed led into some kind of utility room, a movement caught her eye. She stopped, but before she could investigate further she saw a figure emerging from the shadows moving towards her. Automatically Fliss began to back away and she felt her eyes widen and her chest constrict in utter fear as the man’s features became clear when he emerged into the soft light of the kitchen. It was a face she hadn’t seen, other than in her worst memories or nightmares, since the court bailiffs had led him down from the dock after the jury had delivered their verdict. His cold grey eyes locked on to hers and he gave her a sinister smile.

“Long time no see Felicity.” John said, arching an eyebrow.  “You changed your hair.”

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #gifted #gifted fan fic

[popwasabi]

How some stoners named “Harold & Kumar” made Asian Americans proud

Being Asian American can make you feel invisible at times or worst, the butt of every bad joke.

Sure, lots of Americans love Asian things like sushi, kung fu, anime, and tacky calligraphy tattoos that don’t mean what they say they mean but they don’t particularly care about having the people themselves present or even represented.

And typically when we are represented it tends to look like this.

Or this.

Or this.

(I said what I SAID!)

Now Asian Americans are not by any stretch the most marginalized or even the least represented people in the larger American cultural diaspora, but they’re fairly consistently forgotten or grossly stereotyped in our media regardless and this has larger consequences. Representation is important because it makes a people’s presence known to the larger majority.

Our pop culture has unfortunately played a role in erasing, appropriating, and misrepresenting Asian folk. An action movie may feature a white actor with extreme martial arts skills fighting in Hong Kong but might not have a single prominent Asian voice throughout the plot and those that do are typically gross caricatures. The Cyberpunk genre loves Asian aesthetics from its Tokyo inspired neon lighting, futurist cityscape, and ramen carts abound but boy, is the populace typically dominantly white.

(I love this movie but considering how many Asian things and aesthetic choices there are in it would it have killed Denis Villeneuve to have at least ONE background Asian person??)

It’s not shocking then that 2004’s stoner comedy classic “Harold & Kumar” starts with a pair of white dudes beginning their own adventure by leaving one of the titular heroes in the dust to do their dirty work because “Asians love math” or something. Despite not being a stoner, at the time at least, I related hard to this movie and its characters as the film touched on a number of triggers I had growing up.

2004 was a formative year for me as an Asian American. For the first time ever, my history classes were touching on Asian culture with discussions on Japanese feudalism which awakened a deep sense of pride I didn’t know I had at the time. I was watching NHK samurai dramas about Miyamoto Musashi and later the Shinsengumi which led to me begin training in kendo. Anime had suddenly become more mainstream with the premiere of Shonen Jump and pirated subtitled anime littering all of YouTube. But more importantly, and distressingly, I became more aware of my identity because it was increasingly getting called out as I was getting older.

I’ve been labeled a number of different pejoratives growing up through my teens.

“Nerd.”

“Weirdo.”

“Loser”

But none cut deeper than “Chinese boy.”

I’m not Chinese, of course, in fact I’m half white and half Japanese but try telling the various ignorant lunkheads I knew growing up to respect and differentiate between them all. Hell, better yet tell them I’m just as American as they are too.

Being labeled “Chinese” hit a very personal chord with me. To lots of Americans, unfortunately, we’re all “Chinese” and the various qualities that make each of our cultures unique are inconsequential to them. We AAPI’s all individually take a measure of pride in those unique qualities and to have it all sequestered under a blanket “Chinese” label was beyond insulting.

(And I don’t care what you tell me or how much you hate China’s government, this is a THOUSAND percent a dog whistle.)

For Asian Americans, there have been various ways one reacts to these insults. Some of course, who learned confidence at a younger age, would shrug it off or ignore it, some would outright resent it but for me at least it only made me dig my heels in deeper. Yeah, I’m Asian, so fuck you!

That energy is deep “Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle” as these two Asian American characters not only navigate a crazy night of searching for an open White Castle to satisfy their stoner cravings but also confront various microaggressions from outside and within the Asian community.

Harold, of course, struggles with his confidence. He can’t stand up for himself when the aforementioned two white bros from the start of the film saddle him with extra work. He laments doing the typical Asian thing of being too passive when confronted by authority. He can’t find the will to ask the girl next door out because again he sees himself as an impotent Asian guy unwilling to make the first move. The whole movie he struggles with his inner feelings because he’s been taught and programmed to a certain extent to be timid because that’s the Asian identity.

Meanwhile, Kumar’s character is about resisting conformity to those same stereotypes but in the worst ways. He co-opts black and hip-hop culture as seen in his messy apartment room. He fights his dad who is forcing him to take his doctor's exam, something he doesn’t want. Generational pressure is common in all cultures but it’s an entirely different animal when it comes to the Asian upbringing. Kumar embodies this resist from beginning to the end of the film and though he does decide to take the test, it’s important that he chooses to do it, not his dad, and certainly not because he’s Indian. He decides that choosing to be a great doctor doesn’t mean he is becoming a stereotype because his identity is not just about being Asian.

(Every Asian kid has heard their parent make an unintentional innuendo.)

Harold and Kumar’s differing approaches create a charming pair for the film to bounce off as Kumar’s brashness often lands them in trouble and Harold’s timid demure keeps them down in its own way and the two finally come together when Kumar learns to understand the difference between conformity and choice and Harold learns conformity doesn’t define him.

Both characters confront all kinds of microaggressions against their identity throughout the film. Cops making fun of their names. The extreme sports bros making every racist joke every Asian kid has every heard growing up at them. All Asian Americans have grown up wanting to deliver the perfect comeback or “fuck you” moment against these types of people and when our heroes triumph and put them all in their place there is undeniable catharsis as it happens for everyone who has seen this movie.

(Seriously, there isn’t a more satisfying good triumphing over evil moment in film for me than the conclusion of this particular plot.)

The movie confronts stereotypes in more ways than one though. Throughout the movie Harold and Kumar are confronted by a situation that makes them think it’ll go one direction but ends up (usually comedically) the opposite. Harold and Kumar try to hook up with two beautiful transfer students who turn out to have horrible bowel issues. Harold is reluctant to go to the Asian American club party because even he believes in his own ethnic stereotypes of them but it turns out it’s a banger of a party with plenty of weed to boot. Harold and Kumar are picked up by a lonesome, disfigured tow truck driver and are shocked to find he’s married to a beautiful woman. And the aforementioned extreme sports bros turn out to love cheesy pop music and romantic songs.

Basically, the whole movie is about giving a big middle finger to all our preconceived notions we have about identity and it's brilliant.

(Nothing wrong with cheesy pop music, of course.)

“Harold & Kumar” is great for other reasons too. John Cho and Kal Penn still play greatly off each other. There’s plenty of great one-liners sprinkled between each scene. The entire journey to find White Castle burgers in the middle of the night is a fairly genius premise for a stoner comedy still. And Neil Patrick Harris playing “himself” is still iconic.

Parts of the movie haven’t aged, well of course. There’s some bad gross-out humor, some lazy gay panic jokes and not to mention some sexist quips that don’t land well in 2020. Also, let’s just not talk about the sequels.

(I still find this scene amusing though.)

That said, “Harold & Kumar’s” first film in this munchie saga is not only a grade-A stoner flick but simply one of the best films ever when it comes to bringing that much needed representation of the time to Asian Americans. Watching Harold & Kumar stick it to their annoying white antagonists while delivering a “fuck you” to every racist joke I ever heard growing up is still cathartic as hell and made me feel proud to be Asian American during a turbulent time for myself growing up.

Though it’s not Masterpiece Theater by any stretch, Harold & Kumar will always hold a special place in my heart and remains forever “high” on my list of favorite movies of all-time.

Happy 4/20, y’all!

#harold and kumar #Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle #John Cho #Kal Penn #Asian American creative voices #asian american #aapi #Pacific Islander #4/20 #420 #weed #marijuana #getting high #movie #films #stoner #stoner films #big lebowski #Indian american #Japan #Korean American #Chinese #China #Asia #munchies #White Castle #Burgers #cheeseburgers #cyberpunk #Ghost in the Shell

[koreanboyswriting]

Dreamers Pt. 1

Words: 7.6k

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Notes: (I know nothing about the health system or police work except what I get from shows, so don’t yell at me for inaccuracy 😂 love you guys)

You took a drag, letting the cannabis fill up your lungs until you could feel it seep into your bones and assuage your thoughts. You exhaled, the smoke swirling out of your mouth and disappearing into the cold night air. The atmosphere was less than comfortable though, you were sitting in the bed of Jason’s truck, who was also less than satisfactory company, but smoking alone would make you look depressed, and you were supposed to be making an effort to be better, if not actually being better. 

You pulled your coat around you tighter, crossing your arms in a vain attempt to block out the icy air. It was definitely freezing, and if a rain cloud were to pass by right now you were sure the droplets would turn into snow. Jason saw you pulling your coat tighter around yourself, and stretched out his arm around you, pulling you into his body. You shimmied out of his grasp and put your back to the adjacent wall of the truck bed taking another heavy hit from the blunt you were sharing. Jason looked at you and raised his eyebrows in confusion, you exhaled slowly through your nose, “What?” You said, your words dripping with sass.

“Is there a problem?” Jason prompted you his arms held up.

“Not unless you have one.” You turned away, looking towards the neon lights in the gas station windows across the street.

“Look, cut the crap y/n. We haven’t had sex in like four months. You won’t let me touch you at all. What’s the fucking problem?”

“Look Jason, I know you didn’t want a relationship with me and that’s fine, but at least treat me with some fucking respect.” You found yourself quickly going towards the bubbling anger that always seemed to be right below the surface now and days.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jason was talking down to you again like he always did whenever you got into an argument, as if he was already dismissing you before the points were even established.

“I’m talking about you FUCKING SARAH!” You burst out before you even knew it and Jason was looking at you with surprise in his eyes. “Yeah, I fucking know, I’ve known for months! If you want to fuck other people Jason, just fucking tell me so I’m not sitting around here being loyal to your stupid ass.”

Jason schooled his features into his usual indifference, “Look I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sarah will fuck anything that moves, she probably has an STD. She’s the last thing I’d get under.”

“Ugh, Jason please cut the bullshit. I went to Jessica’s party and I saw you walking upstairs with her.” You were just tired now, you looked up at the stars and hit the blunt again, hoping the high would numb your problems like it had been doing for the last three months.

“Ok fine, I fucked Sarah.” You rolled your eyes at Jason’s final acknowledgment of the truth, which seemed to spur him into anger you hadn’t seen him release before.

“Look! I wouldn’t have fucked her, if you had given me some!”

“Oh, so it’s my fault that you can’t keep your dick in your pants. Okay, that makes complete sense.”

“Look bitch, if you’re not planning on giving me any you can get the fuck out of my truck right now.”

“Jason, what the hell? Are you being serious right now?”

“Bitch, I said to get the fuck out!”

“Fuck you Jason.”

You climbed out of his truck bed, flinging the rest of your blunt at Jason, who squealed, and jumped up brushing the embers off the front of his shirt.

You walked out of the empty parking lot you were parked in towards the gas station pissed off and cold. Where the hell were you going to find a ride this late? There was no way you were going to call your mom, because she’d just give you a thirty-minute lecture about how you were throwing your future away.

The lights in front of the gas station started blurring and swirling around, a painting coming to life, swimming in your eyes. You tried to focus on your steps and your breathing, but a high had never gotten you this messed up before. You steadied your breath, but now you were panicking the lights were getting more and more twisted, and suddenly they were too bright and you just wanted to close your eyes, so you did, and your body fell connecting with the tar on the street.

 You blinked your eyes rapidly trying to adjust to the lights being shined in your eyes.

“Y/n? Can you hear me?

You nodded your head to the doctor’s prompting.

“Do you want to sit up?”

“Yes please,” Your voice came out cracked and you cleared your throat, trying to bring saliva to your dry mouth as the doctor gently put his hands on your back and helped you sit up. As your posture straightened you saw your mother sitting in a chair at the end of your bed covering her eyes with her hands. You chose to ignore her self-pity and focus on the doctor and who was now testing your vision, having you follow his finger while he shined the small light in your eyes. After he was satisfied, he put his stethoscope to each side of your chest and back, prompting you to breathe in and out, while listening to your heartbeat. He nodded to the nurse after he was finished and she filled a cup with water from the pitcher on the side table and handed it to you.

“Well, y/n as expected,” as he started your mother rose from her chair and stood next to the nurse on the side of your bed crossing her arms and giving you the mom stare. “Your blood sugar was too low and you are also slightly dehydrated, these two-combined caused you to pass out suddenly. You are not diabetic correct?” You nodded to confirm you were not.

“Have you not been eating lately?” Your cheeks heated and you looked down at your lap. For the past month, you felt yourself no longer having an appetite and you just didn’t want to eat, smoking had usually filled the void, or given you the munchies enough to eat, but you usually felt disgusting the morning after that and you’d find yourself purging in the bathroom. Of course, your mother being the self-absorbed person that she was, took this as a moment to enter in.

“Are you serious y/n? Like you’re some starving child! How do you think this makes me look? Huh?! Like I’m some incompetent mother who doesn’t feed you!”

You just looked down at your hands the blush in your cheeks turning to heat that spread across your face as you fought to corral in your anger.

“Look I know your upset at the issue at hand ma’am, but would you mind leaving the room with Nurse Maureen here, I just want to talk with your daughter for a minute and then you are free to take her home.”

Your mom looked at you, and gave you the look that signaled to you that the conversation wasn’t over, but she left the room with the nurse, who held lightly onto your mom’s elbow as she guided her out.

“Y/n, getting high won’t solve your problems.” You looked up at the doctor with shock in your eyes. “I didn’t tell your mom because it seems that there is a larger problem at hand. If you are insecure about your body there are plenty of healthier ways to lose weight, but I sense that’s not why you are bingeing and starving yourself. If you ever just need someone to talk to or want fellow people your age to talk to, I hold a group therapy session on Saturdays here at the hospital.” He pulled a brochure from his pocket and handed it to you. “Please consider coming, I think we could be a great deal of help to you, and it doesn’t hurt to have a couple more people in your corner.” You faked a smile as you took the brochure from his hand. “And hey, please eat for the sake of your mom and I.” He gave you pitying look and left the room.

You slid from the bed and wiggled your feet into your converse, grabbed your jacket from the back of the chair your mother was sitting in, and threw the brochure into the trash as you exited the room. You walked into the hallway to find your mom looking at her watch and tapping her foot on the floor as if you being in the hospital was just taking time out of her day. She was in her usual tailored outfit, her blazer thrown over her arm exposing her crisp white button up which was tucked into her pleated slacks, with her polished black pumps, which gleamed in the light from the fluorescents. Your mother was beautiful in all the ways that you weren’t her hair was glossy, jet black, and pin straight, her bone structure was prominent, her cheek bones high and jaw line angular. You were her opposite, she was straight lines and geometric angles, and you were soft, and petite. She looked up when the door clicked behind you, and rushed over to you, carting you towards the elevators by your elbow as she hoisted her purse higher on her shoulder.

“You have no idea the disruption you have caused today. I have three cases going on right now. Do you understand how stressed I already am? I don’t need to add you to my list of problems, I already have too many. Do you realize how lucky you are?” Your mom shoved you into the elevator as soon as it pinged open, hitting the “door close” button even as people were approaching, trying to get into the open elevator. The doors closed and your mother started up again. “You know, today in court, two kids were placed into a shelter because their mom is a crack addict and they’ve been mistreated for months, y/n. And here you are not eating for attention. I’m so disappointed in you. You had the perfect future all set out for you, and then you just throw it all away! For what?! Community college and that low-life boy from high school you hang around. I make too much money for you to be at community college. Even though your dad and I are divorced, we can easily send you to any four-year school.”

You tuned her out as she went on, blabbering the stuff she usually did. Taking anything you did and turning it into an issue about herself. Never trying to hear you, just wanting you to hear her.

You were so sick of her bullshit, but when your parents got divorced your mother got sole custody and your father who was cheating on your mother with his assistant, left; but he made sure to send you a check for your birthday and Christmas every year, as if you gave a shit about his money. You let your mom drag you from the elevator to the black SUV, waiting in front of the hospital and shove you inside. You pulled out your phone from the inside pocket of your jacket and started flipping it around in your hands for something to do as your mom got in on the other side already nagging you to put on your seatbelt. Not even a second later her phone rang and she started barking orders into the receiver of her cellphone. You smiled half-heartedly at your driver and he gave you a pitying smile in the rearview mirror and peeled off.

Your mother’s phone was always ringing, and you were surprised it hadn’t gone off earlier. She never failed to answer it though, except for when you called. When you were younger you used to call her when you got home from school, asking her when she’d get home, after the third time, she yelled at you and told you not to call her with stupid questions because her phone was only for work. After that you learned to handle any issues you had on your own. Your mother was one of the top defense attorney’s in the state, and that ruthless attitude she had for her cases reflected in every facet of her life. Five years of marriage and a kid later your dad had enough of it, divorcing your mother in favor of his assistant who was twenty years his junior. You saw him for every holiday, having two of everything until you turned sixteen when your dad decided he didn’t give a shit anymore and started sending checks instead. It wasn’t as if you missed him though, he, like your mother was a workaholic, while she spent all day at the courthouse, he spent his days at the office monitoring the stock market, while you were sent to the most prestigious schools and raised by nannies. There were worse ways to have it though, so you never found yourself complaining, and cherished any moment of solitude you had.

The car stopped outside your Chicago townhouse and you slipped from the car walking towards the front door, not surprised when the car zipped off again, leaving you alone, once again. You walked into the door and Lori greeted you immediately.

“Miss y/n, are you okay? What would you like to eat? I’ll make anything you want.”

“No thanks Lori, I’m not hungry.”

Lori rushed over, grabbing you by your wrist, “Now you listen to me young lady, you are going to go sit down at that table over there, and you are going to eat whatever I give you, okay?”

You laughed and agreed always finding yourself saying yes to Lori, it was almost always hard not to laugh when Lori got angry, her thick accent would come out more prominent whenever she got angry. So, you walked over to the island and sat down on one of the barstools, and watched Lori as she moved around the kitchen. Thirty minutes later she had a heaping plate of pasta in front of you, a roll, and another plate of salad next to the first.

“Damn Lori, I wasn’t starved just slightly underfed, you trying to feed three people?”

“What are you talking about this used to be your favorite crave meal after Friday practices. Speaking of dance practice, when are you going bac—,” 

“I don’t want to talk about Lori.” You put your hands on the countertop.

“Okay, that’s fine sweetheart, just eat please, you look skinnier every day.”

You stomach grumbled slightly looking at the food, and you picked up your fork digging into the pasta in front of you. Lori watched you fondly and filled up your water glass every time you took a sip. After you were halfway through your pasta she seemed satisfied and left the kitchen carrying the laundry basket she set down when you walked in. You moved from your pasta to your salad and ate a bit more, before deciding you didn’t want to push it. You got up and scraped the rest of the pasta into a plastic container along with the roll, before cleaning your dishes hurriedly so Lori would think you ate it all. You slipped upstairs sneaking away with the container. You walked into your room and closed the door placing the container on your dresser, you were about to flop onto your bed when you saw the familiar box on top of your vanity the lid tucked underneath it. You walked towards your vanity looking into the box, the pink satin was just as you remembered it, slightly faded and worn, the laces were carefully wrapped around the shoe, you pulled one of them out of the box, inspecting them, realizing Lori or your mother must have had them cleaned. The thought of your mother taking them to be cleaned suddenly made you angry again, and you threw the shoe back into the box, pushing down the lid on top, you flung it across the room towards your open closet. Just being in your room made you angry and you wanted to escape, everything reminded you of what you wanted to leave behind. The walls were mauve, the wall around your dresser plastered with frames of you at dance recitals, your dresser held all your awards, even a shadow box with your childhood pointe shoes in it. You grabbed a pillow and shoved your face into it trying to suppress the tears from falling, but you found yourself falling asleep.

You woke up and the sun was down, the moon lighting up your room, you groggily got up, stripping out of your clothes that still smelled like the hospital. You walked towards your closet pulling on a new pair of jeans, an oversized black sweatshirt, and your chucks. You pulled out the small box you kept in the back of your underwear drawer and pulled a twenty from the wad of cash, you slipped your pipe and lighter from the box and put it all in the pocket of your jacket. You closed the drawer making sure to cover it up with clothes before, then you grabbed the container of spaghetti, and left your room. Lori was gone by now, and your mom was probably holed up in her office. So, you ripped the hospital bracelet from your wrist and threw it into the trash, as you walked into the kitchen. You then grabbed a plastic fork from the box in the pantry, and your keys from the hook besides the door, and slipped out and into the night. 

There was something about nighttime that you loved so much more than daytime. The moon seemed like a friend, he held your secrets, the stars his only confidants with which he would whisper to. Nighttime was for everyone, it didn’t judge you. You walked the six blocks from your house to the bus station, and as expected Harold was sitting in his usual spot, rubbing a hand warmer back in forth in his hands.

“Hey Harold!” You shouted at the homeless man, startling him out of his spot on the bench, you laughed and ran over to him helping him back onto the bench.

“Don’t do that this late at night girl, I’m an old man, my heart can’t take that kind of excitement.” You chuckled and handed Harold the spaghetti and fork.

“Oh sweetheart, thank you!” Harold patted your hand warmly as he took the food from you. You tried not to flinch at the contact, so you plastered a smile on your face instead.

“I’m not sure I’m the one who needs it though. Darling, you’re looking skinnier and skinnier every day.”

“Oh, hush Harold, I’m just fine.”

“Alright darling, whatever you say.”

Harold sat with you quietly eating his spaghetti as you waited for the train to arrive. When it came to a halt in front of you, you rushed on and waved at him from the window as it pulled away. With Jason no longer available for rides, your only option was the bus, as your mom only traveled by a chauffeur. You didn’t mind the bus though, you liked imagining a life for the people who came on and off the bus. You would set destinations for them, and give them plot lines as the train shuddered along the tracks. Only, this time as you watched the people get on and off the bus you just felt lonely. You didn’t talk to anyone from high school anymore, except Jason, and he wasn’t exactly the picture of an exemplary character. Everyone at your old school seemed to fall into the trap of being stuck up and materialistic. Obviously, you weren’t completely immune, but you could at least see beyond yourself, something most of them never seemed able to accomplish. You pulled up the hood of your jacket and laid your head against the window, tucking your earbuds into your ears, and turning the volume up to drown out the sound of the wheels on the tracks. The ride from your side of town to downtown took a little while, so when you got to the center of the city, you were the only one left from the group of people that got on when you did. 

You thanked the driver and hurried out the door your hood still up as cover from the bracing wind. You ducked your head down and wound through the skyscrapers and busy streets of Chicago, you had walked about twenty blocks when the scenery started to change, the streets got a little dirtier, and the alleys seemed darker. When the familiar store came into view, you quickly crossed the street to the welcoming store front of Al’s Bodega. Your usual dealer was always around here at this time, but he wasn’t leaning against the store’s windows as he always was. So, you walked up to the door pushing it open with your shoulder, the bell jingling as it opened. You walked through the aisles picking through the merchandise and examining the labels to waste time. You finally decided on a pack of pretzel m&m’s; you grabbed the pack and set it down in front of the old cashier. The store owner looked you up and down, surprise etched into his wrinkled face. As soon as you paid you grabbed your bag and went outside pulling your hoodie up to cover you face as much as you could. You knew you weren’t his usual clientele, your clothes designer, and nails manicured, but for some reason his eyes angered you, once again the bubbling anger that seemed to always be just a step away was rising up again. You tore open the bag of m&m’s and ate them as you went through the door the bell clanging as it closed behind you. You ate your m&m’s leaning against the store windows, watching people walk by on the dim street, you turned your head around the corner and saw your usual guy, recognizing him by his signature gaudy clothes. He was exchanging an envelope to another guy for a fat wad of dollar bills. You didn’t quite know the dealer as you had always come over here with Jason, and he did most of the talking, but you were sure he’d recognize your face when you approached him, and you were still a paying customer. His back was to you as you rounded the corner, walking towards him with your hands in your pockets.

He shook hands with the guy he made a deal with, the man nodded his head towards you, your dealer turned around and shouted out to you, “Hey would you look at that Rodney, it’s my classiest customer!”

You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face, you opened your mouth to respond when all of you saw the flashing lights of the two cop cars come zipping down the street. You turned on your heel and booked it as the two guys ran for cover in the alley behind the Al’s. You pumped your legs as fast as you could, your body tiring quickly as you ran for your life down the opposite street. Your hood flew off your head your hair tumbling free, your vision was tunneling and the cold air was making your chest hurt. You chanced a look behind you, only one car was following this time and it was quickly gaining on you. You needed to get off the open sidewalk as soon as you could, so you started pushing through the people walking in the opposite direction, but they were all slowing you down. 

You could just see the nearest alley coming up in the distance, when the police officer’s voice came over the megaphone, “Stop running, there’s nowhere else to go!” The cop car pulled up onto the curb in front of you causing you to crash into hood, the cops came rushing out of the car pinning you down onto the hood. You panted hard, every sharp inhale paining your lungs.

“Stand up and put your hands on the hood.”

The officer removed her hand from the middle of your back and you stood placing your hands on the hood of the SUV. She walked around you and kicked your legs apart into a wider stance as her partner shined his flashlight onto your face. The officer began patting you down stopping at the inside of your jacket, where she pulled out your pipe, money, and lighter.

“You know carrying marijuana paraphernalia is against the law in Illinois?”

You looked down meekly at your shoes and nodded your head.

The male officer walked over to you clicking off his flashlight, “What’s your name?” 

“My name is y/full name-Norfolk.”

“Your June Norfolk’s daughter?” The male officer said.

“The attorney?” The woman officer looked at her colleague a confused look on her face. 

You sighed your head dropping, “Yeah, that’s my mom.”

“Well, you can call her when you get to the precinct. Put your hands behind your back.” 

The officer cuffed your hands, the cool metal, smarting against your hot flesh. Her partner opened the door and she guided you inside, her hand on your head.  

You sat there in the back of the car feeling like an idiot. You could see the scene play out in your head, of your mom walking into the police station. She’d probably just want to leave you there at this point. You wondered if they caught the other guys, and if your old dealer was ratting you out right now, telling them how many times he’d seen you buy from him. You wanted to put your head in your hands, but the handcuffs held them tightly behind your back. You wiggled your arms around trying to be comfortable, but gave up and rested your head on the cage-like partition that separated you from the officers. You played your make-believe scene over and over again in your head drowning out the sounds of the police officer’s radio, and their mindless chatter. After what felt like hours you arrived at the police station, the woman officer took you from the car and led you inside. It was chaos, people were bustling around guiding men that looked far more formidable than you. All the desks you could see were piled high with papers and manila folders, the men behind them looking harried as they worked through them, or answered phones shoving them between the crook of their head and shoulders as they scribbled down information. The woman officer tugged you by your arm, as you had gotten distracted by the scene in front of you. She guided you over to a hallway beside the entry desk, where four phones lined the wall, hung on their receivers.

“You have three minutes.”

You nodded your head curtly and she unlocked your cuffs, moving to stand at the start of the hallway where she started conversing with her partner. You picked up the phone and started wondering if there was someone else you could call besides your mom, but the only person you could think of is Jason and he sure as hell wouldn’t come, which left you with no one else besides the woman herself. You typed in your mom’s number and it rang five times, before she picked up, the call almost going to her voicemail.

“June Norfolk.” She snapped.

“Uh. Mom it’s me.”

“Ugh, y/n. How many times have I told you not to call me. If you need something text me or call my assistant. I’m busy.”

“Look, mom I’m in trouble. I need you to come get me from the police precinct.”

“The police precinct! Y/n what the fuck did you do!”

“Nothing! I’m just in a situation that looks bad”

“I doubt it! Ugh, I’m busy right now y/n! I’m on my way.”

She hung up, before you could say anything else. You exhaled, and walked towards the officer, ready to handle the situation on your own like you always did. 

“She said she’s on her way. Do I have to be cuffed again?”

The officer looked you once over, “Not if you cooperate and talk to us.”

You nodded your head in agreement and she guided you passed the harried officers into another hallway, the lighting making the walls look a sickly green. She opened one of the doors along the wall and guided you in. A metal table and two matching chairs sat in the middle of the room in front of, what you were sure was the two-way mirror. You sat in the chair that faced it while she took the opposite, her back to the mirror.

“So, what were you doing with Rodney Michaels and Daryl Simpkins tonight, y/n?”

“Those two guys? Are they here?”

“Two of our other officers picked them up, shortly before you. Now what were you doing with them tonight?”

“I wasn’t doing anything with them, I was just walking on the street, and when they ran I thought it would look bad on me so I ran too.”

“Really? You don’t know either of them? Even though Daryl Simpkins is a convicted drug dealer, and you were found to be carrying cash, a pipe, and a lighter. And you expect me to believe, that you weren’t going to buy one of the very things he was convicted for selling?

“Yes, exactly.” 

“Look, here—.”

The officer was cut off as your mother barged into the room, with the police officer’s partner in tow. 

“Y/n, stop talking. Don’t say anything else. Who the hell do you think you are questioning my daughter without her lawyer present.”

“She waived her right to council, when she told me she wanted to cooperate with me.” The woman officer said smugly.

“You have nothing on her! Your probable cause is weak, so your search was unlawful as you didn’t ask for her permission. Which means that anything you found is inadmissible in court, therefore you have no case. I’m taking my daughter home, and don’t bother us a second time or I’ll have both of your badges.”

Your mom beckoned you over and you stood leaving the female officer at the table, her face contorted in rage. Your mom grabbed your wrist and steered you out of the precinct, shoving you directly into the car, that waited outside. You sat quiet for a second as your mom’s driver peeled off, you didn’t know what to say. You supposed you should thank your mom as she had never come so strongly to your defense before, but she was strangely quiet, and you didn’t know if saying something would be the thing to set her off. So, you buckled your seatbelt and tried to be as quiet as possible as she stared straight ahead not saying a word. The car ride was short and you were surprised that when you got out of the car, that your mother followed waving off her driver. You walked up to the front door with her, your hands fidgeting inside your pockets. She unlocked the door and you both walked inside, you closed the door behind you and all hell broke loose.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING ON THAT SIDE OF TOWN WITH A CONVICTED DRUG DEALER AND DRUG MONEY IN YOUR POCKETS!”

You felt yourself visibly shrink, you were suddenly feeling ten years old. Back to the time when you were afraid of your mother, then you used to run or hide, but now, facing her was your only option in the hollow house.

“I was just…” You trailed off, you could blame it on Jason and tell her that you were just getting stuff for him and everything you had on you was his, but you knew she would just see right through you.

“You were just what, y/n?!”

“I was gonna buy weed from him, but then the cops showed up and I ran.” You rushed it all out in one breath, then looked down at your hands, not moving from your position in front of the door.

Your mother paced back in forth in front of you, her heels clacking on the wood floor, as she ran her fingers through her dark hair. You had always thought your mother had never aged, her hair was always long and jet black, her face always perfectly made up, but watching her pace and run her hands through her hair, she suddenly looked old. You started to notice the lines on her face, and the wrinkles around her eyes and forehead, which was crinkled in thought and stress. She walked over to the living room space and sat down on the arm of the couch. The open floor plan of your townhouse suddenly felt cavernous, and you were feeling as small as mouse, still standing by the front door, afraid to move.

“Y/n, I don’t even know who you are anymore? You think I can’t see you, but I do. First, you’re in the hospital because you’re not eating, and then bingeing when you do. Yes, I can hear you heaving in the middle of the night. Now, you’re out in shady areas buying drugs? I can’t help but feel like this is all because you quit ballet, and I still don’t know why you did. And you’re not helping me by not telling me! There was so many schools who wanted you, ones that offered huge scholarships and opportunities, Havilliard still calls me every day and tells me they still have a position open for you, and are ready to offer you whatever it takes. You being here is doing nothing for you at this point. I know you’ve been skipping school, I called your professors, so at this point I don’t know how else to motivate you. I’m sending you to Havilliard, it’s still early in the semester, you can still sign up for classes and do ballet, which may give you back some semblance of your life, an—,”

You cut her off, “MOM! You can’t do that I don’t want to go back to ballet! I won’t go!”

“Oh, really now? Well, what if I kick you out then. Where will you live then. You’re eighteen you should be able to support yourself.”

“Mom, what the hell? I’ll go live with dad then!”

“Oh, you’re going to go live with him and his tramp? You wouldn’t last a week with them in New York. And how would you get there? I’m sure as hell not paying for it.”

“You felt your cheeks heat, your anger rising again, but it just got shut off by your feeling of defeat. Your mom was right, you would have nothing if she kicked you out. You had no money, you never had a job in high school since all your free time was devoted to ballet. You looked around as if you would find some answer on the walls, but none surfaced. You just looked up and met your mom’s eyes. 

“When Havilliard calls tomorrow I’ll tell them that they got themselves a filled spot. I’m done letting you fuck up your life.”

She walked away, her heels tapping against the wood, the sound punctured by her door slamming, and you were left in silence. Not even realizing that tears were falling down your face.

The next week had gone by in a blur. Your mother held true to her word, and let Havilliard know they had a new ballet student. The next couple days were spent with you being forcibly signed up for classes, followed by your mother assigning Lori with the job to make you start packing, or start packing for you. You resisted at first, but then after a couple hours Lori snapped at you and told you stop being a brat and be grateful that you were going to school at all. You shut up and started helping her pack and stopped protesting your mother as well. Lori was from Colombia and barely had her high school education, which made you realize how pretentious you had sounded the entire time, and now you felt you had to be as unproblematic as possible to make it up to her. When then end of the week came, it was time for you to leave. The SUV was packed and your mom’s driver was waiting in the foyer, as you stood in front of your mom. The drive to New York was long, and she couldn’t come with you because her case load had only picked up, and she had to present in court the next day. You had already said goodbye to Lori and apologized profusely for being the person you never wanted to be. Lori forgave you and filled your backpack up with snacks after she hugged you for five minutes, when she started crying you quickly gave her a kiss and walked away because you didn’t want to leave a tearstained mess. So, you stood in front of your mother, all your things packed in boxes, your room bare, except for your old ballet photos. You wanted to be mad at her, but you knew she was only doing what she thought was right, even though the thought of dancing again had you internally screaming. You set down your box that contained your ballet shoes and bridged the gap between you and your mother and hugged her tightly, before you knew it you were both crying, big heaving sobs, and your mother was stroking your head softly.

The moment was suddenly punctured by your mother’s driver clearing his throat and insisting you start on the road. Your mother kissed your cheek and told you to call her when you got there. You smiled at her, and picked up your ballet shoes, you then fidgeted with your backpack straps, and when you had nothing left to do, you left the house you’d known for the most of your life for The Big Apple.

The ride was long, but you slept most of the way, awakening only when, Dave, your driver, wanted to take a bathroom break. Twelve hours later you were standing in a dorm room unpacking your boxes, when a girl walked in. Her hair was crazy curly and she wore it in a short fro, she looked like she had just come from working out, her dark skin was glistened with sweat, and she was wearing what could only be described as ‘cool street wear’. She extended out her hand to you promptly, beaming at you.

“My name is Sharice, what’s yours?”

“My name is y/n.”

“Oh, that’s pretty! Well as you can see I’m your roommate, are you a dance major too? I do hip-hop and modern dance.”

“Oh, that’s really cool, and yeah I do ballet.”

“Ballet, wow. You must be pretty good to get into the program here. I heard it’s very competitive.” 

“Well, I used to be.”

“Huh?”

“Well, I’m kind of out of shape.”

“Ha! Oh honey, I’m sorry. You better get in shape really quick then. All dance majors will be meeting together tomorrow, to go over our final project for the semester.”

“Final project? Already? I know I came late but, isn’t that like months away?!”

“Oh, it is, but I heard it’s a really big collaborative project, so they’re giving us a lot of time to work on it.” 

Your eyes bugged out of your head and you suddenly felt like you were having a panic attack. You were way out of shape and if you got in there tomorrow and looked like an idiot, you were sure no one would let you live that down. Sharice was kind though and helped you move in the rest of your stuff; color-coding your closet for you as she talked about Atlanta and her family. You had a sense that you would really like her, but your mind was still preoccupied with ballet, you wanted to impress people but it had been months since you put on your pointe shoes and the thought scared you, but at this point your choices were slim to none. After all your belongings were unpacked, it was dinnertime. Sharice asked you if you wanted to go downstairs to the dining hall and eat with her and her friends, you thanked her but told her you were going to head to the dance studio and try to get a head start, she gave you a pitying gaze and informed you where to go. Since you were a dance major, they housed you and all the other ones together near the dance studios on campus, so the walk to the closest school building was no more than five blocks. When you got there, you were in awe, the first floor was a café and meeting area, the ceiling seeming to extend forever, with the walls accented by modern art. You got into the elevator and went to the second floor which opened to a comfortable lounge area that was filled with couches and tables all facing towards the floor-to-ceiling windows which made up the walls adjacent to the elevator. You made your way towards the door across the lounge area which had “Maria Laughlin Dance Studio” frosted onto the glass doors. 

You walked into the room and your jaw dropped, it was the most beautiful dance studio you had ever been in. The adjacent wall had ballet bars built into the mirrors, mirroring the opposite wall, but the what really stole the show was the polished baby grand piano which stood in front of the wall of windows across the room. The city lights sparkled beyond the glass, as the cars and people bustled along the busy New York street. You suddenly felt so apart of it all, connected all at once, as you watched the city from above. You turned away from the glass to face the rest of the room, it was time to get back into shape. You shed your large hoodie that you always wore over your dance clothes and moved to stand in front of the mirror. You stared at yourself once again in your tights and leotard, your light gossamer skirt tied around your waist in a perfect bow, your hair once again slicked up into a tight bun, your baby hairs framing your face. You put on your soft ballet shoes and began your stretches, your body out of practice from your usual flexibility. After you finished you moved over to the complicated sound system that was put into the wall next to the entrance, after struggling for twenty minutes you finally figured out how to plug in your phone and you began playing your dance playlist. You started out easy going through your positions and stringing some of them together, doing soft turns, and short leaps, you were messy, as to be expected, but it felt right, spinning through the room. After an hour of that, you walked over to your duffle bag and took out your pointe shoes. You stared at them in your hands for a minute, fingering the soft satin, before you put your toe separators on, and wrapped a band-aid around your big toe then slipping your foot into the familiar shoe. You wrapped the satin ties around your ankle, and moved onto the next. You stood, your feet feeling at home, but foreign all at once, you did some simple movements around the room to get your feet used to the shoes again. You walked up to the mirror, staring yourself in the eyes and breathed deeply, the music was in crescendo, and as the piano sped up and the violins raised in enthusiasm, you inhaled sharply, bouncing off your heels into pointe position. You held your arms up over your head, holding your breath as you pivoted on your toes. You fought to keep your posture perfect, trying to stay right on the tip of the iceberg, you couldn’t let your feet bow forwards, nor bow backward, your spine needed to be aligned, shoulders back, head high. Your old instructor’s words raced in your mind, as you fought the pain in your feet, to stay on pointe. You loosed your breath and inhaled sharply again and attempted to pirouette along the mirror, you spun around once, going for twice, when you fell, hard, your body hitting the wood panels roughly.

“Oo, that had to hurt.”

You looked up and found a man standing just inside the entrance to the studio.

“Yeah, no shit,” You responded.

“Woah... Someone’s crabby.”

“Yeah, I am. Look, can you go find somewhere else to practice?”

“No can do, I use this room every night, so you can find somewhere else to practice or practice with me.”

He moved into the room, dropping his duffle onto the floor and running his hands through his hair, and pursing his thick lips. 

“Well, I was here first. So, run along.”

You picked yourself off the floor, and stood, dusting off your skirt, and rearranging it.

“Well, I’ve been here longer. So, run along.”

You walked towards him, your temper rising, “Last time I checked, your name wasn’t on the door, so get lost.” 

“Well, maybe it should, because then you’d know to get out of MY practice room.”

“Yours?!” You were raising your voice now, your hands balled in fists at your side, “Who the hell do you think you are?!” 

“I’m Park fucking Jimin, and for the last time, get out of MY studio!”

#anyone who reads this I love you #bts #bts imagines #bts jimin #park jimin #chim chim #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin angst #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts v #kim taehyung #bts jhope #jung hoseok #bts suga #min yoongi #bts rm #bts rap monster #kim namjoon #bts jin #kim seokjin #bts scenarios #bts fake texts #bts outcast #bts fanfiction #jimin gifs

[akko-chan]

[Intro] Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or better known as ADHD, is a mental disorder that affects an individual's ability to focus Causing them to move around more frequently They may also have trouble controlling their impulsive behaviors [Chorus: Joyner Lucas] One time for them prayin' on my downfall (Yeah) Two times for the homies in the chow hall (Whoa) Three times for them hoes on the internet Shittin' on niggas when they really should get out more Four times for the days that were all bad (Woo!) Five times for the bitches who ain't called back (Yeah) Six times for the kids like me who got ADHD just to— (Brap, brap, brap) [Verse 1: Joyner Lucas] Kidnap a nigga like ISIS (Whoa) Turn a whole world to a crisis (Whoa) Walk around the city with a ice pick I been paranoid, usually, I ain't like this (Boop, boop) Ain't no tellin' how crazy I might get, uh (Woo!) Beat the police with a nightstick (Boop) In my whole life, I been lifeless Now I'm so fly, I'm a muhfuckin' flight risk (Woo! Whoa) Fuck a couple hoes 'til I pass out (Whoa) Niggas throwin' stones at my glass house (Whoa) I remember sleepin' on my dad's couch (Whoa) Now I got the Bentley, and it's blacked out (Whoa) Family lookin' at me like a cash cow (Whoa) Errybody dissin' just to have clout (Whoa) Thought you had a chance, now you assed out Nigga, I'm the muhfuckin' man, where you at now? (Whoa) Fuck it, I'ma hit 'em 'til they jumpin' I ain't trippin', this is nothin' (Brap, brap, brap) I been livin' in the dungeon I done held a couple grudges Went to hell and got abducted Meet the devil, I'm his cousin I ain't settlin' for nothin' (Brap, brap, brap) Got a metal in the truck, I keep a semi when I'm bussin' Niggas duckin' (Bop) Even Stevie Wonder could've see it comin' (Brrrap, brap, bop) I ain't judgin', I just want the money, I don't need a budget I been hungry, I ain't got no oven (Bop, bop, brrrap, brap) But I got the munchies, nigga How you gon' move on the front line? (Woo!) If I don't fuck with you, I just cut ties (Whoa) My high school teacher said I'd never be shit Tell that bitch that I turned out just fine (Joyner) And no, I don't know you for the twelfth time (Woo!) We do not share the same bloodline (No) You love to run your mouth like a tough guy Hope you keep the same energy when it's crunch time (Woo!) [Interlude] According to the American Psychiatric Association It affects roughly eight percent of children And two percent of adults Commonly believed to only affect boys Because they are perceived as rowdy and rambunctious [Chorus: Joyner Lucas] One time for them prayin' on my downfall (Yeah) Two times for them bitches in the South Shore (Whoa) Three times for them days on the block Gettin' chased by the cops like a motherfuckin' outlaw Four times for them days that were all bad (Woo!) Five times for the bitches who ain't called back (Yeah) Six times for the kids like me who got ADHD just to— (Brap, brap, brap) [Verse 2: Logic] Me and Joyner need a couple hearses (Woo!) Double homicide, kill the beat and the verses Everybody livin' on the surface But we came from the underground, yeah, we deserve it What's beef? Beef is when you murder motherfuckers on a beat Kill 'em all, kill 'em all Nah, nah, what's beef? Beef is brothers dyin' over shit That never mattered in the first place, lyin' in the street What's peace? Peace is when you leave it in the past, let it heal like a cast When enough time pass, then you blast Kinda like John Wick, bars like a convict Fuck around and you don't wanna start shit, woo! Comin' with the hot shit, all they do is talk shit You could never top it, boy, just stop, stop it High and drunk, call that HD vision All these other motherfuckers full of indecision And I murder with precision all over your television I'm numero uno, number one and you is just a subdivision Never listen, we gon' leave them missin' That's the mission like ISIS (ISIS) Ain't no time to bicker over who the nicest It's Logic, it's obvious, just ask the audience I've come to body this shit (Body this shit) Yes, it's egregious, I'm Regis You Kelly, you pussy, you pussy Don't push me, I'm Louis Vuitton You at Target with your mom On the internet still hatin' on my last post (I hate this nigga) I just sent a steak back at Mastro's, my god Me and Joyner need a couple hearses (Woo!) Double homicide, kill the beat and the verses Everybody livin' on the surface But we came from the underground, yeah, we deserve it Yeah, uh, far from the minimum, killin' 'em with no Ritalin And 5'9" was the middleman to get 'em in the same room Now we on the same tune, and we sealed the game's doom The illest of lyricists on the same shit RattPack, clap back on the gang shit Do it for the love of rap, not for the fame shit, woo! [Chorus: Logic] One time for the Grammy that I never got Two times for the Garden that I sold out Three times for the street crimes that I committed Yeah, I did it, but thank God that I made it out Four times 'cause I'm a fuckin' bastard Five times Platinum with my last shit Six times for the beats and the rhymes Fuck the heat and the crime Keep the peace like a waistline, woo! [Outro] ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS, ISIS ISIS, ISIS, ISIS

What have the artists said about the song?

In a Facebook post, Joyner Lucas wrote about his experiences with having ADHD and how he didn’t allow it to hinder him from reaching his goals:“ADHD” is more than just about me.. it’s a movement. A movement For anybody who ever had ADHD or was told they had it. Since I was 5 I was diagnosed with ADHD and I often struggled in school and at home. I had a disadvantage because I was different. I was made to believe by countless teachers and relatives that I was never going to amount to anything because of it. I was called names, scrutinized, and even mentally abused over the fact I had ADHD. The older I got the worst it got. I’m proud to say that overcame so many obstacles and reached massive success and I STILL have ADHD. I also managed to turn ADHD into a merch line and make it apart of my brand and embrace it. This ADHD movement is dedicated to anybody who ever has struggled with the difficulty of having ADHD. You too can make your dreams come true regardless of what they say. I’m here to tell you that I ❤️ you and I do this for you.

#Isis #Joyner Lucas #Logic #lyrics #music #audio

[the-madness-behind-mitch]

The Good Child

Let me tell you a story about a boy named Nick. From the day he was born, Nick was taught all of the “right things.” He was raised to be polite, work hard in the classroom, and above all else, worship God. Nick was like every other kid you see at school. He had his group of friends who all played a little league sport. He came to class almost every day, draped head to toe in Nike apparel, thinking he had already made it to the NFL or MLB because of the clothes he put on his back. On the weekends, you could spot Nick on the field, whether it be hitting home runs or tackling running backs, he was also the one grabbing everyone’s attention. On Sunday, Nick would wake up, bitching and moaning as he reluctantly put on khaki pants and a button up shirt. Nick never enjoyed going to church, seeing as he didn’t really understand what the point was in the first place. All he knew was that because he went to church, he was considered to be a better person because of it. He never questioned the reasoning for going to church; he just went so as to not disappoint his parents and “God.”

Let’s fast forward a bit now. Nick is a high schooler now. Instead of making the big tackles on Saturday mornings, he was doing it on Friday nights. Throughout the week, Nick would attend all of his classes, making sure he took extra notes and paid extra attention to lectures. Nick was a good student, a straight A student in fact, and he took pride in it. As you can see, not much of a change. Nick still did well in school, still turned heads on the Football field, and every Sunday was at church with his family. The void on Saturday’s that little league football had left was now filled with time to unwind with his friends. One night his friend Kyle did something that was unspeakable to Nick at the time. Kyle was the oldest out of Nick’s friend group and their graduating class, so he was able to get his license and a car well before any of his peers. It was business as usual on that Saturday night, the clock had just struck 7:30, which is the time Kyle always picks up Nick on Saturday’s. Nick shot Kyle a quick text

Nick: Hey bro you almost here?

Sent at 7:35

Read at 7:52

Kyle: Yeah my bad, running a little behind had to make a pit stop

A pit stop? That didn’t sound normal to Nick at all. In fact, the thought of doing anything displeasing to his family made his stomach quiver. Before he could curiously ask Kyle why he had made a pit stop, a loud horn blared in his driveway, startling him and causing his phone to drop. He went to pick up his phone and there was a noticeable crack smack dab in the middle of his phone.

“Fuckkkkk man fuck fuck fuck” said Nick under his breath. He sighed, grabbed his phone and scurried out the door, not wanting to deal with the repercussions.

Nick hopped into Kyle’s truck, just as he usually does around this time each week, only something was off. There was an eerie feeling that washed over Nick as he climbed in to the passenger’s seat. He glanced at Kyle who’d maintained a shit eating grin on his face from the second he got in his truck. The uneasy feeling that’d crept through Nick had reached a bubbling point, and he impulsively snarled at Kyle

“What’s up dude you’re acting weird tonight and I don’t like it”

Kyle, who was completely taken back by the statement, looked at Nick and said “Remember that thing that you and I said we’d never do?”

Confused, Nick stammered back “Uhh…I.. uhh.. no not really but you’re frea…”

Before Nick could finish his statement, Kyle was unveiling what he presumed to be Marijuana. Without a second thought, Nick firmly said “No”

“Why not?”

“Are you kidding me? Weed? Don’t you know how bad that shit is for you? Only losers do that stuff Kyle and I honestly can’t believe you’d even think I would want to try it.”

“Look around Nick, your parents aren’t here. Come on, don’t you want to be a little rebellious? I talked to Tyler about it yesterday, he said he tried it less than a month ago and it wasn’t bad, actually said he enjoyed it.

Nick began to fall back on his statement but snapped out of it, emphasizing that he wouldn’t do it.

Kyle sighed, then said “I’ve never done this either. It’s both our first times, if we don’t like it we get rid of it. Deal?”

“Well..” said Nick reluctantly, “I guess.”

Nick’s reply was greeted with a fist bump from Kyle, who began to take the weed and put it inside of a glass piece. Nick watched as Kyle held the lighter in his hand. Kyle took an audible sigh of relief before flicking the lighter, pressing the mouthpiece to his lips and inhaling the smoke. Nick’s eyes bulged at what he was seeing. He couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. Kyle took what seemed to be a 2 second inhale before violently coughing and letting out a huge cloud of thick smoke in his car. Nick couldn’t help but laugh at Kyle as he frantically scrounged around his truck in search of a half drank water bottle, all while simultaneously attempting to waft the smoke out of his truck. Nick, still laughing, was handed the glass piece.

“Don’t be a bitch” said Kyle whose look of agony and distress had been quickly replaced with a smirk and sardonic tone

Nick, shaking as his did so, gripped the teal blue lighter in his hand. He must have flicked it on and off about 30 times before finally using it to light the marijuana. It all came together in one fell swoop. He lit the pot, inhaled, and seconds later found himself coughing and gasping for fresh air. Much like Nick, Kyle couldn’t contain himself either, laughing so hard that he thought his cheeks were going to be permanently sore. The two sat there for the next 3 hours, taking puffs one at a time as they shared stories and jokes, laughing uncontrollably. The money Nick had been given for the night had been all used up on various munchies. Nick glanced at his phone for a time check. 11:46pm

“Fuck man I need to get back home, you mind?”

“Of course I got you” mumbled Kyle through the mouth full of chocolate ice cream he was eating

Kyle pulled into Nick’s driveway and parked his truck. The two dapped each other up and right as Nick was about to slam the door shut, Kyle said

“So do you want to do this next week?”

While Nick had had a good time tonight, he’d realized what he had done was frowned upon.

“Uhh it’s a maybe. But thanks for everything tonight man”

Kyle drove away and as Nick lie in bed, reminiscing on the sins he’d committed tonight, he had realized that he didn’t care. In fact, he wasn’t even sure why he had told Kyle it was a maybe. He really liked smoking pot. The biggest confrontation in his life was the inner battle of wits telling him to be a kid and enjoy his time, and the other side telling him that doing something like smoking pot will ruin his future and turn him into a delinquent. He fell asleep before deciding what the decision was.

A few weeks go by, and the routine remained the same. School Mon-Fri, smoke/drink on Saturday, church on Sunday. He had grown to enjoy his weekly routine, and in fact had begun to like weed so much that he started using his parents’ money to buy his own. He had just received his license and a new car, so that was where he was able to stash his paraphernalia. Nick realized that all that he was doing is considered detrimental to his future, and deep down he knew that one day he would quit smoking and prioritize the right things. School and church would eventually become work and church, so he found weed to be his vice. It wasn’t until one day after church where Nick’s world would come crashing down. Nick’s mom had noticed him texting during church and had asked him repeatedly to stop. Not listening, Nick kept pounding away at his keyboard, uninterested about the same nonsense he has heard since he was a kid. Perturbed by all of this, Nick’s mom snatched his phone from his hands, seeing as that was the only way possible to get him to listen. His mom stared at the iPhone she had just taken and noticed the large crack in his screen.

“When were you going to tell me about this?” Inquired Nick’s mom

“Uhhh I’m sorry I meant to tell you but..”

“Let’s discuss this when we get home” Said his mom in a hasty tone “You need this information”

Nick looked at his mom with a blank stare and allowed his body to sink back into the chair before begrudgingly going along with it

“Why does she want me to listen so bad? And why do I NEED this info when half of my friends don’t even go to church?”

Nick and his family arrived home and his mother asked for his phone again to see if there was any home remedies they could try before bringing it to an Apple store. Moments after he’s given his mom his phone, the familiar tone went off

“Ding!”

Nick’s heart stopped. His mother glanced at his phone to read the text. He wanted to slap the phone out of her hand but couldn’t. Nick’s mother skimmed the text through the crooked and distorted screen. You could see the expression in her face drastically change, as her whole body seemingly sunk into her chair. Before Nick could ask what she’d just read, she turned the phone and put it just inches from his face. The screen showed one notification.

1 unread text from Kyle

“Yoooo last night was something else. You were SO baked and it was hilarious lol that reminds me, you don’t have the rest of my pot do you? I can’t find it”\

What happened next was a culmination of multiple emotions from both parties. Nick’s mother was overwhelmed with sadness, disappointment and pure anger. Nick stood there dead silent. He’d been overtaken with fear and shame simultaneously. The jig was up, and he didn’t know what to do.

“Mom I’m sorry” repeated Nick, hoping that this entire issue would vanish.

As Nick eagerly awaited for his mom’s reply, he was shocked at what she had to say.

“This is why I wanted you to pay attention today.”

Completely confused by that statement, Nick’s entire expression changed

“Wha…What?”

“If you paid attention to church once in a while, you’d see why this is so harmful to you. All I cam do is sit back now and pray for God to look over you.”

At this point, Nick began to become annoyed with his mother. Not exactly sure why she wasn’t berating him. So instead of being submissive and going along with what she said like he has done almost his entire life, he challenged her

“Why can’t you just parent me? What does God have to do with me smoking some weed” said Nick in a tone that came out much more aggressive than he’d hoped

“Because Jesus died for our sins. And now we repay him each and every day by living life to his standards.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. Where in the Bible does it say I can’t smoke weed?”

Nick’s mother began to raise her voice

“Nicholas, you will not raise your voice at me.”

That set him off

“Sorry Mom but I just did. Aren’t you tired of this routine? Living life through someone that we aren’t even sure exists? Does that not sound crazy to you?”

Nick’s mother began to sob, shouting aloud to herself

“My baby boy is a sinner. My baby boy is a sinner”

Nick, now in tears, yelled back “YOU CALL THIS LIFE? WHAT KIND OF A LIFE IS THIS?!”

He was so taken back by this entire ordeal that he had no option except to bolt out of the house, hop in his car, and peel away, bawling as he did so. A part of him was disappointed with himself for being stupid enough to get caught, while deep down another part of him realized he was also upset for hurting his parents. Nick drove all day, stopping only for lunch as well as his family’s bank, to which he requested to access their vault where they stored their most private amenities. Nick knew exactly why he was going to the bank in the first place, as he grabbed the item and left. Dusk eventually turned into night, and Nick found himself atop a large mountain, roughly 4 hours from where his house was. He sat there, deep in thought, pondering everything he has ever done.

“Man why do I even go to school in the first place”

“Fuck God too. How is he so damn important when people aren’t sure he has ever existed”

Nick’s mind raced a mile a minute. He lay on his car, staring off into the night sky, wondering what life would be like in 5 years. Tears streamed down his face as he considered what life would be like in the future. He hated everything. The way he was raised, the way his peers viewed similar issues, why did any of it matter? The feeling he once felt from wearing a helmet and playing the game he once loved had come and gone. In fact, everything he was once passionate about had seemed to fizzle out at one point or another. Nick began to clench his fists, unable to contain the vast array of emotions that had now overtaken him. Nick checked his broken phone for the time. 12:03am.

“Sheesh, I might need to get home” Nick said to no one in particular.

He had also noticed a large portion of missed calls and texts, mainly from his mom pleading with him to come home. Before Nick could ignore the text, a sudden wave of calmness washed over him. Without much thought, Nick sent his mom a text

“I love you Mom. You’ll see me soon”

Nick pressed send, shaking as he did so. He walked to the edge of the mountain he was on and looked down for a minute before receiving a text from his mom

“Nick… you are in so much trouble I don’t think you even understand. Do you think this is the plan God wants for you? You’re disregarding everything we’ve instilled in you at a young age. Get home NOW!!”

Nick read the text. Then read it again. He tossed his phone off the mountain and into the river below, watching it tumble the whole way until the lights finally went out. Nick walked back to his car and grabbed the remainder of his marijuana. He packed all he had left into a rolling paper and rolled a joint. For the next 15 minutes of his life, Nick was at total peace, a peace he had not felt ever in his life. As he took his last drag off the joint, he flicked it into the river below him and let out a large cloud of smoke, noticing the world’s beauty surrounding him as he did so.

“Well, this was fun” said Nick to himself as he grinned

He went over to his car to grab the item from the bank vault he had gotten. He reached inside its case and took it out. He stared at it in awe, admiring its luscious beauty. A tear rolled down his cheek as he smiled bigger than he has before. Nick then put the muzzle to his head, took a deep breath, and squeezed the trigger. For the first time in a long time, Nick had found total peace.

[tashabilities]

My fuckass trapezius and subscapularis

The muscles in my back

Are still fucked up from that truck hitting me and pushing everything to the left on Wednesday, November 28, 2018 at 4:40 PM.

My left arm is often dead, feels like TV static, with pain down into my middle finger, yes, STILL even AFTER physical therapy and massage therapy and chiropractic.

I want Graston and cupping and jiggling my underarm by a professional but quarantine, AND I ain't got it.

My birthday is April 19 and Rona has ruined Aries Season ♈

I want to get high af on these gummies I got from California back in January but I have NOTHING in here to go through the munchies with, just essentials.

The lawyers have paid me.

It's enough to get a car and dassit.

I don't HAVE a new car yet because Corona.

AND I'm using my car money to pay April rent because this complex is eviction happy and my property manager is an insufferable bitch, sending nasty emails EVERY fuckin day.

I need to stay here because I been here TEN years and if I go to a new place, I'ma be paying AT LEAST $500 more per month, automatically, because that's "market rate" right now for THIS place and most places in Atlanta.

This is prolly also why they've upped the hostility,

To get my Black ass tf outta here so they can make more money off this huge apartment.

My job sent me a notice saying I'm on unpaid leave of absence til July 6 and to file for unemployment.

I work in the restaurant industry and after this is over it'll be months before that industry is something you can live off of again, IF EVER,

I have no idea what the fuck I'ma do.

But I'm ok.

There's peace in my home.

I have no children who need me to get up out this bed.

No nigga on my phone or my nerves cause I set boundaries, like, what you NOT gon do is cafeteria respond to me and be skipping over WTF I'm saying, nigga, you see this text.

Unfortunately, this also means no penis and I really could use some.

But I'ma get a shower and go talk to my ancestors and thank them for sustaining me.

This, too, shall pass.

Do NOT reblog.

[bakatenshii]

Angel!!!! It’s Steff!!!! Aahhhhhh!! Congrats on the blazin milestone! I wanna participate in your event! How about 🤔 Bokuto & Kiri if it hasn’t been done yet 🥰 ... love you!

STEFF!! My love, I miss u!! (PS Please go follow her @red-riot-girl642 she’s such an inspiration and badass) Thank u so much hehe, I got u <33

𝐵𝑂𝐾𝑈𝑇𝑂

Bokuto sober is already a lot, arguably too much, so Akaashi and Konoha tried to shut him up by getting him high. Indica only, sativa with Bo marks the beginning of the end of the world.

Couldn’t figure out how to inhale, poor innocent baby, so they ended up baking him brownies. Didn’t get the chance to warn him that they’re potent asf and hit like a truck an hour later before he wolfed down three. F in the chat

No one speaks of the Edible Incident, all we know is it wasn’t without vomit, tears, and Akaashi coming out with years taken off of his life.

Properly smokes up with Kuroo and Tsukki, fucking professional stoners ™️. Kuroo coaches him through clearing a bowl, and gets high as a kite.

So fucking giggly, so fucking giddy, honestly one big overgrown child and he’s the cutest cuddly fucking thing when he’s frassed. Keeps telling Kuroo and Tsukki how much he loves them, and cries about how much he loves Akaashi BokuAka canon

Chilled out happy Bo, easier to handle, sometimes Fukurodani sends him off to them when he’s too much and come pick him up when he’s more pliant.

Smokes whatever Kuroo has! Personal preference would be a bong, he thinks it’s easiest to handle, likes to watch the water bubble, and he won’t accidentally drench the joint in saliva (slobbery Bo, okay, someone tell me he isn’t, I dare you)

Munchies hit him like a mf, but he’s always eating anyways, so tbh it’s not even that drastic of a difference. Will eat anything, barbecue? pizza? barbecue on pizza? He’ll eat the cardboard box as well

Likes to chat about random shit, watch reruns of volleyball matches, or Animal Planet. Honestly a good fun high, Bokuto LITE, for when you want a good helping of Bo but can’t handle all the calories and trans fats and grease

I’d recommend still keeping either Akaashi of Kuroo around though, just in case

𝐾𝐼𝑅𝐼𝑆𝐻𝐼𝑀𝐴

done here

#LOOK I DONT MEAN TOCCLOWN BO #I ADORE HIM #BIG HAPPY HIMBO #I RLY DO LOVE HIN #but cmon now tell me im wrong #hes like a big slobbery overeager puppy and #i ADORE him #pt his head tell him hes a good boy #bo + praise kink is a match made in heaven #they go hand in hand #STEFF #ILY #I MISS U QUEEN #Bokuto #420 with baka