#my man not looking his best bc hes been in jail for half a year fully expecting to be executed or stay there for life

[immunologies]

look at my land developer dawg i’m going to jail 😫

lmao hiiii everyone! i’m anwar (not hadid) + always writing for underused model fcs but anywhooo — thank god for reopening bc i was supposed to app during the first launch but i was on vacation so my activity would’ve flopped real bad BUT… I’M HERE NOW… a lil jet lagged still but fuck it we ball :’) i present to you: iida!

navigate: general info / about / pinterest

sparknotes!

tw / suicide

okawara yosuke, 33 (proud twink death survivor btw he left that long haired era behind in his mid 20s), born and raised in fukuoka prefecture so you know he’s a bearer of the masculinized stereotype that kyushu men have but surprisingly his ego isn’t as fragile as i would expect it to be — i wonder why?

lower middle class to middle class financial status for the entirety of his childhood / it’s one of those things where as a kid you’re like “well, this is it” because you’re not fully aware that your family doesn’t have money on top of being surrounded by other kids who, in return, also come from families without bands so it is what it is / it can’t be that bad when your necessities have always been met

tbh there’s not much to write home about in terms of his childhood as in it was fortunately(?) uneventful for the most part despite starting off rocky: his mom was barely twenty when she birthed him, two freshly married young adults rushed into the hard-bitten chaos of childrearing, do they resent bro in absence of trying to enjoy the beginnings of their married life? probably, but it doesn’t matter by the time his younger brother is born, soo la voo or whatever the french be saying (tiktok reference btw if ur uncool)

yosuke is your average kyushu boy growing up: he spends his time outside rather than inside with his head in the books (it’s the same shit his teachers would always say about his lack of potential, ie: he’s lazy), has boyish fights with his younger and complete opposite of a younger brother, tries his best not to piss off his stay-at-home mom and stay away from his chronically emotionally constipated aviation mechanic drunk for a dad, you get the idea

…UNTIL the voices started to become apparent more than ever and he tells his mother who dismisses it but is reminded of her grandfather who unalived himself from alleged schizophrenia but nobody in her family knows if he ever got tested for it (y’know, if it was a genetic hereditary thing) or if it was just the aftermath of unresolved trauma/ptsd because grandpa fought in the war (you know which war) NOBODY KNOWS A GODDAMN THING. except yosuke as a child hated going to see his relatives in the far village/countryside on his mom’s hick side

lmao but when yosuke told his mom “yeah girly pop dad’s gonna have a shitty liver if he doesn’t stop drinking so much in the next couple years or so” is when she drops his ass off at a mental health facility so she definitely prioritizes her man over a kid that she wasted her 20s raising! (she’s definitely an unevolved libra no shade to yall sorry) but anywho! he’s diagnosed at 17, life is looking brighter(?), but his “schizophrenia” isn’t something talked about much at home because let’s be serious. it’s fucking abe shinzo’s japan at the time, we do not talk about shit like this

yosuke goes on to carry two jobs after high school because his parents didn’t save a college tuition fund for his lazy, non-academically inclined ass so it’s up to him to be the architect of his future / he’s psyched about entering the aviation department of kyoto university after working his ass off by trying to build a humble living but somebody’s bored and filthy rich daughter from a zainichi korean family comes into his life and what does he do? say goodbye to the ol’ pilot dream and traps this woman so he won’t ever have to worry about money like his family did

mind you he actually had love for the old girl! but he’s a gemini and gemini men get bored when you’re not their outstanding type or half as witty or clever as he may be. he knows that he’s settling for what poor lee jiyoung can do for him so after dating in college, yosuke goes on to marry the woman but never goes on to tell her about his “schizophrenia” because he’s scared that it’ll ruin his marriage (spoiler alert: it did)

so uh *scratches head and turns the page* they end up divorcing because his condition worsened as a result of his body becoming “immune” to the medications because he never had schizophrenia in the first place (ie: iida canon) — and he tried saving the relationship for the sake of his position at tk group, he really did, but at the end of the day he’s just some penniless, opportunistic man who failed to completely use up his wife’s beneficiaries. but again, he’s a gemini man who’s good at playing the part of using his “mental health” as a crutch of their failed marriage instead of being exposed for taking advantage of his ex-wife financially

(trust me he’d rather be that Type of Shitty instead of portrayed as the Exploitative Type of Shitty because it gets some pity points on his end. believe the scheme!)

so now? okawara yosuke takes up the tk group’s little passion project proposal with goero because it’s a chance at redemption. he needs to prove one way or another that he’s worthy of his job, that he’s the right man for it, his undying loyalty to the corp (questionable :3), and he’s taken the more political and diplomatic approach of gravitating/winning the trust or appeal to goero’s inhabitants instead of the founding families ‘cause his coworker’s already doing that anyways — he understands his shortcomings as a foreigner (more so as a japanese guy telling yall what to do with the land so goero can prosper financially and commodity-speaking for trade.. and commerce..) so if he can strengthen his morale to the people even if it doesn’t mean the quota won’t be met — yosuke would prefer that for the sake of ethics. he will promise the residents of goero that much: business or not.

that is all. i think. :-) i’ll be yapping for specifics on discord if needed be

personality!

likes to think of himself as an ambivert over being written off as an extrovert which is kinda true? despite being a professional yapper with those he’s suuuuper comfortable with, he finds that people who don’t match or vibe with him tire him out very quickly / genuinely a very friendly person and is emotionally inhibited probably as a result of his career where logic/numbers/analytics are concerned so yosuke prefers to focus on reason over the “possibilities” … even tho he would like to be that optimistic / isn’t one to have an extreme temper, but can be prone to outbursts if incompetence is in question / really. really. hates the notion of being black-or-white on many matters as life usually puts him in the grey area so. u know. atm doesn’t have any ulterior motives because he doesn’t have it in him anymore to be evil or whatever. he ran out of plans. just trying do the right thing from here on out, so, let him help you! bro’s probably a lawful neutral man i know i’m sorry for being boring :/ c’est la vie

connections!

i prefer brainstorming over anything and i’m down for just about everything so hit me

#trrors:int

[dourpeep]

you asked for albedo stuff yesterday and i forgot to give you some 🥲 here

-Albedo bites the ends of his pencil/pen while in deep thought

-He covers his mouth while laughing

-His hair is a huge problem to becoming messy so he usually keeps it in one style bc he sucks at styling hair

-I believe he would hyperfocus on a meal until he starts to hate it and goes onto another

-Probably sleeps on his back or stomach

-Quietly sings to himself when he's alone doing experiments

-his hands are probably soft as hell

-he probably bounces his leg when stressed

-I cant decide whether or not he's always cold or always hot (wearing his jacket everywhere but seems fine at dragonspine??)

-would break klee out of jail

-he always tries to have at least one meal with klee

WAIT SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS--

definitely a pleasant surprise nodnod always a treat to have more Albedo, thank you for the food, Chi OTL

I'll write a little about each one b/c I have no self control and I'm feeling inspired by ur headcanons so lets goooooo ehehehe

They'll be a mix between imagines and drabbles!

Enjoy the food :3c

Contains: Albedo x gn!Reader, some standalone Albedo, Klee, fluff

-

- Breaking Habits -

"Albedo? You're doing it again-"

He blinks, shifting to remove the tip of his pencil from his lips, frowning when little indents come into view.

"Hm...it appears to be so."

Really, the Chief Alchemist has tried to wean himself off the habit, taking to coating the butt ends of his writing utensils with a horrid concoction of qingxin and jueyun chili, but the moment he slips into his usual daily tasks, it arises once more. The bitter spiciness is a taste that he still has not forgotten.

When his brows crease and his gaze seems to burn into the pencil, you offer a smile. With a kiss pressed to his temple, you take it from his loose grasp, setting it down on the table's surface.

A few weeks later, it dawns on him that the touch of wood to his lips evokes the memory of your gentle reminder. Without fail, he sets his pencil down in search of a sweet to busy himself with instead.

- His Laugh -

I can just imagine him with his hand lifted to cover his mouth, a smile tugging at his lips and his eyes slightly squinted. It's something that'd happen almost instantaneously--he doesn't intend to hide his smile but for some reason he can't help but do it.

An endearing habit that you've come to look for.

Regardless-

If you lower his hand and pepper him with a few little kisses, you'll get another giggle out of him before a kiss.

- Hairstyles -

Albedo only knows two ways to do hair: Klee's twin pigtails and his own half-up braid.

Over the past three years of his residency in Mond, it's become a sort of trademark. The assumption that it's just how he likes to style his hair has long since been accepted as truth--and really, he does prefer the style.

Though...

"Mr Albedo? Perhaps you should try to tie it all up instead...?"

The stray wisps of bangs that escape from the securely tied braid fall into his face and distract him from the task at hand. There's also the ever-present tickle right where the blond locks fall around his jaw. Surely, this shouldn't prove to be a problem considering he always has this style...right?

Needless to say, the smell of singed hair makes him choke and the Alchemist finds himself pulling away to tie his hair properly.

It's simple.

Or at least that's what he has been stuck repeating like a mantra as he stares at his reflection, unhappy with the way there's a strange bit of hair that refuses to stay tied. Sighing, he undoes his pony tail and tries again.

Hm.

No, now it's lopsided...certainly can't have that.

- Mealtime -

First, two little ears peek up above the surface of the counter besides him. Then, two little eyes belonging to a stuff rabbit toy followed by a red hat--

"Klee?"

The little girl stares at the fish steaks sizzling away on the pan, displeasure on her features despite the incredibly enticing smell. With unmatched resolve, she huffs.

"Big brother, Klee doesn't want fish again-"

Ah, right.

He's been in another of those moods, the particular taste and texture of the fish mingling with the salted butter, simple sauce, and lightly seasoned veggies sounding so much more appealing compared to nearly any other dish he's tried to enjoy in the past two weeks. It's without a doubt Albedo's all-time favorite dish. Perfect for someone with a small appetite and a need for something quick, filling, and nutritious.

"What would you like then?"

Ultimately (and truly, Albedo wasn't surprise), the little knight requested a serving of 'Fishy Toast'. Cutting up one of the fillets he'd fried, he laughs and shakes his head.

- Sleep Time -

When you come home, it's already dark, the streetlamps lining the cobbled road illuminating the front door as you fish out your key.

"Albedo? I'm back-"

Soft snoring punctuates the silence.

With a fond smile, you remove your shoes and make your way to the make-shift 'sleep station' set up on the couch. Sure enough, with his face shoved at an awkward angle against a pillow, Albedo lays on his stomach holding a second pillow to his chest.

As much as you'd rather not wake him (after all, he's barely gotten sleep over the past few days with how busy it's been), you kneel besides the couch to gently shake him awake.

"Bedo? Bedo, lets go to bed-"

He shoves his face further into his pillow, muttering something about waiting for results. But the silence that follows only lasts so long until he sighs and opens his bleary eyes.

"Welcome home," he mumbles, carefully shuffling best he can closer to meet your lips.

With a stretch and sigh, he sits up. Blond hair sticks up from the top of his head and to his cheek, some parts tangled despite his attempts to prevent it--your hair shouldn't tangle if you sleep on your stomach, right?

Holding back your laugh, you help him up so that the two of you can get ready to sleep.

- Singing -

Most often if not nearly each day, if you pass by the Favonius HQ's workshop, you might catch the soft sound of singing. A light sound that drifts from the partly-cracked door echoes into the empty hallway. Regardless of the traffic outside, it shows no sign of stopping, so you easily can sit right outside and listen.

It's not shy, though, even as the man's dulcet tone comes out gently, and there are days that the lyrics that slip from his tongue are of other regions.

Perhaps if you ever approach the Chief Alchemist, you might be able to convince him to sing just a short little tune. He'll oblige, though a soft dusting of pink will cover his cheeks as he does.

- Hands -

"My hands?"

Albedo watches as you tug off his gloves, head cocked to the side curiously. The moment his hands are free from their confines, you press a kiss to his palm and intertwine your fingers.

"Do you use lotion or something?"

He laughs.

"...Not that I am aware of...?"

When you squeeze his hand once, he squeezes yours back three times before bringing your joined hand to his cheek. Resting against them, his eyes close.

"Why do you ask?"

He feels you take his other hand as well, turning it over palm-side up, your fingertips tracing over the lines that adorn it's surface.

The tenderness of your touch is enough to make his heart stutter in his chest.

"Mmm...no reason."

- Leg Bouncing -

Whenever Albedo bounces his leg sitting at the Dragonspine workshop, a curse or two will slip out the moment his knee bangs against the wood.

Even being considered short, the table has decided to lay just low enough for him to cause minor injury to himself.

Shaking his head, he rubs at his knee to rid himself of the dull ache before continuing his observations at hand.

- His Jacket -

Wait okay but like...what if he actually has different versions of the same jacket? They look virtually the same but there's some of lighter material for warmer days, 'standard' ones for day-to-day use, and heavier ones lined with warm, soft fabric to insulate heat when he's on Dragonspine.

Same with his tights. I do know for a fact that there are tights lined with fleece that are incredibly warm and comfortable!!

- Escapees -

"You need to be very quiet, alright?"

Once more in the dark of the night, Albedo finds himself awake within the walls of the Favonius Headquarters.

Now...Klee technically wasn't grounded, so technically escorting her out of the so called 'solitary confinement' wasn't against any rule. To be fair, the room itself also wasn't really that either, judging by the child-themed decor, soft bed, books littering the floor, and the little table that sits just off to the opposite side of the room.

So! Albedo was certain that there wasn't any harm in what he was doing.

Not that he wasn't still sneaking around on his little improvised rescue mission.

He looks back to Klee, the little girl now wide awake and hanging on to his hand tightly.

When the morning comes, he sighs, crouched sitting on one of the child-sized chairs in the solitary confinement room, Klee peacefully snoozing in bed.

If only Jean wasn't pulling an all-nighter last night as well.

- Very Early Breakfasts -

Klee wakes up to the smell of sweet berry jam and chocolate in the air.

Clumsily, she slips out from under the covers with Dodoco cradled in her arms, padding along the wooden floors on her way to the kitchen.

"Big brother...?" She rubs the sleep from her eyes waiting for him to turn around.

"Oh, good morning Klee-"

"What time is it?"

That, Albedo decided, was a very good question. Especially considering that he hadn't yet gone to sleep and instead shuffled through the kitchen in the early hours of the day to make pancakes. If he had to guess--and he took a quick peek out the window despite the darkness of the early morning lending no clue--he'd say it was nearing 4am.

"Early. Go ahead and sit down, breakfast is almost ready."

The plate is presented to her with a brilliant smile, the Chief Alchemist satisfied to be able to keep his promise with her to always share a meal. But...the fluffy pancakes and freshly made whipped cream were also a source of his brightened mood.

Even though he knew he'd have no time to sleep and pack for his next Dragonspine expedition, the lack of sleep was worth seeing the sudden widening of eyes and delighted giggle from his younger sibling.

He could always take a quick nap at the base camp, anyway.

#anon asks #chifema #albedo #genshin impact albedo #genshin impact headcanons #albedo headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact drabbles #albedo my beloved #klee #albedo x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fluff

[imagining-in-the-margins]

What Goes Up (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer breaks the Magician’s Code for a very adorable exception. Request: I think it would be so cute if Spencer showed Reader his rocket trick from S2 & how to do it and everyone’s confused bc he refuses to show anyone. Couple: Spencer/Reader Category: Fluff Content Warning: None. It’s cute. Word Count: 1.8k

MASTERLIST

Life at the BAU was somehow weirder than I’d expected. It wasn’t a bad thing, just a little different than what I’d prepared for. The woman I was replacing probably should’ve been the first sign.

I remembered the first time I walked into her office, noting the extensive number of stuffed animals and bright colors. It felt like I was walking into my old bedroom, not an office for a technical analyst who works for the FBI.

It was… quirky and comforting.

Those were two words that suited most of the goings-on at the office. None more so than the (other) resident genius, who I’d only recently discovered had  been in jail a few years prior — not really sure how that happened. Wasn’t going to ask him about it just yet, though. Seemed like one of those close-friend conversations.

But since I needed to talk to him, and I had a tendency to blurt out completely inappropriate things whenever he was around (we call that mirroring), I needed something to talk about.

When I had asked Garcia for interesting tidbits about him, the first thing she’d come up with wasn’t his IQ, nor how many words per minute he can read. No, it was a very excited and childlike exclamation of ‘Oh! He can do magic!’

It was surprising only because the man somehow seemed exactly like the kind of person to learn magic. Like that sweet, innocent persona was really just meant to master sleight of hand.

So, with a twinkle in my eye and a file in my hand, I walked up to Spencer’s desk fully prepared to do small talk. That time, I would not look like an absolute idiot staring at him with a confused smile as he told me about the origins of each definition of the word ‘spam.’

At least, I thought that until I was standing in front of him, and he was looking up at me with that adorable blank stare.

“Oh, hey!” he said before glancing down at the file in my hands. “That for me?”

“Yes!” I half-shouted, and when he reached for the file, I - for some reason - jerked it away. “But I have a question first.”

He gave a nervous laugh and furrowed his eyebrows with a smile.

“Okay?” he asked, “What’s up?”

“Okay, well, I’m trying to get to know you all better, right?” I explained, like holding his work hostage was a totally normal thing to do. “So, I asked Penelope for some fun facts about each of you, and I was interested in yours.”

His body language quickly shifted to pure anxiety as he licked his lips, clearly trying to think through all the horribly embarrassing details someone like a technical analyst would know about her coworkers.

“I heard… You can do magic.”

It was shocking how quickly his demeanor changed, him sitting up and leaning forward towards me with a large grin.

“Oh! Yes. I can.”

He was positively beaming with pride, and I had to take a minute to catch my breath at the adorable vision before me.

“Can you… Show me?” I asked with the best puppy dog eyes I could form. He had a faux look of contemplation despite clearly having already made up his mind.

“Hmm… I guess so,” he playfully teased. “But you have to turn around first.”

Deciding it was best to be a good sport, I spun around on my heels, rocking my body back and forth with excitement as I heard him going through the drawers on his desk. I tried to listen closely and imagined all of the different things that could make the noises I was currently hearing.

“Okay, turn around!” he called, his hands in the air as he stared at the single, small film canister sitting in the center of his desk. Leaning forward over his shoulder, I rested my chin on him for a second.

“What’s happening?” I whispered, but he quickly shushed me.

“Just watch!”

I glanced between him and the object, my eyes lingering a fraction of a second longer on him each time. Which, was unfortunate only because as soon as the loud pop resounded through the room and the canister took off, I was not paying attention.

“Ah!” I shouted, jumping back after yelling in his ear.

He hadn’t even flinched. And now he was devolving into a small fit of laughter at just how spooked I had been.

“You scared the shit out of me!”

“Me? You just yelled in my ear!” he shouted back, getting up from his seat to retrieve the plastic that had shot across the room.

When he returned I was sitting on his desk with my legs dangling as I set the file down next to me. He didn’t let my presence dissuade him from sitting down in his chair, pulling into the space next to me and opening the file I had dropped off. 

“Can you show me how to do it?”  

“Not a chance.”

“Oh, come on! It’s me!”

“Who are you, again?” he joked, leaning forward on his desk as he pretended to squint to make out my face.

“Rude. And hurtful.”

With a simple shrug, he half-apologized by saying, “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

Twisting my mouth to the side, I tilted my head towards him as he continued to pretend to read the file that was significantly less interesting than our current conversation.

“Okay. But what about your assistant?”

Without looking up, he muttered a quick, “Don’t have one.”

“I could be yo-!“ I started, but was quickly cut off by a harsh, “No way.”

I pouted, but it got me nowhere. So, instead, I crossed my arms and feet while looking down at him in the chair and proudly stated, “But Spencer, every good magician needs a cute assistant.”

“Yeah,” he admitted before delivering the cruelest line, “but I would need a cute girl first.”

My jaw dropped open further than I thought it could go, and I reared back one of my legs to kick him relatively gently in the thigh. I should have hit him harder.

“I’m kidding! I was kidding! I’m sorry!” he said with more laughter than sincere apology, “Don’t hit me!”

When I threw my hand at his shoulder, he didn’t even try to avoid it, instead grabbing my fist after it had already hit him. He dramatically winced like the barely-there touch had actually hurt him. I laughed, ashamed to admit just how much I enjoyed the way his hand felt on mine. They were so warm and softer than they should’ve been. Although, I don’t know what else I expected.

“Well, now you have to tell me, because that was so mean!” It was a daring negotiation tactic, but one that was apparently going to work based on that playful twinkle in his eye.

“Okay, okay. That’s fair. Fine. You win.”

I was sad when he dropped my hand, but understood that he needed both of his to begin pulling items out from the drawers. When I realized one of them was below me, I kicked my legs up, and he shot me a way too flirtatious grin as his hand brushed against the underside of my thighs.

I don’t think he really needed to do all of that, but I wasn’t complaining. It was a little embarrassing how quickly my body responded with all the tell-tale signs of nervousness that a profiler would recognize, though.

“It’s really not anything special,” he started, opening a new canister and a packet of alka-seltzer. “It’s just a build up of carbon dioxide. A fun party trick, though.”

Pivoting my hips as much as I could, I tried to ignore the way his arm kept brushing against my knee as he insisted I do the trick myself per his instructions. He wasn’t joking; it was super easy. Within a few seconds I had dropped the water into the canister, snapping it shut and flipping it onto the table.

I guess that was the moment he realized that I had a high likelihood of getting hit in the face with my own rocket, because he reached forward and yanked me off the table, causing me to collapse into his arms at the same time the canister shot through the air with a loud ‘pop!’

We couldn’t even notice, though, because I was currently draped over him, our faces inches apart as he struggled to anchor the seat in position so that it neither tipped backwards nor rolled far enough away that I would fall face first onto the floor.

Realistically, I knew it was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. How did I know it was only a few seconds?

Wellll… It turns out that the rocket had hit Prentiss, who had just been returning from lunch.

“Ow, what the— Reid! Again?!”

She seemed to be way more delighted by the realization of what happened than I would be if I had just been hit in the face by a film canister, but I still didn’t want to be the one to get in trouble for it.

I also didn’t want to get in trouble for my current position of essentially straddling Spencer, looking like I was about to make out with him in the middle of the bullpen. Scrambling to stand up as fast as I could, I nearly shoved Spencer into another desk.

“It wasn’t me!” he yelled as the chair spun him around instead of taking him back to his desk. “It was (y/n)!”

“Traitor!” I whispered with narrowed eyes, “I thought we were supposed to be partners!”

He just laughed, “Hey! You’re my assistant, not my partner! I’m still the master here!”

Between the bickering, JJ and Prentiss had approached us sharing a knowing look.

“He showed you how to do it?” the blonde asked, and I turned to look at them for the first time.

“Yeah, sorry. It was my rocket.”

Luckily, they didn’t seem upset. If anything, they seemed sort of impressed. Prentiss smiled as she nodded, giving a tiny, whispered, “Interesting…” before departing.

Once the moment had come and passed, I realized I didn’t have any excuse to stay at his desk. And realistically, I should be heading back to my office.

So why did it seem like he also wanted me to stay?

Fidgeting with my sleeves, I avoided looking directly at him when I finally spoke, “I guess I should… head back to my cave.”

“Yeah, and I should probably actually read the file you gave me.”

Right. That was why I came. Literally forgot.

“Well, you know where I’ll be. Come visit if you think of any other tricks you want to get off your chest.”

Don’t ask why I thought finger guns were an appropriate way to end this interaction; I didn’t have a (good) reason.

The little grin he gave told me he thought it was endearing, and that was good enough for me.

“Will do.”

(Tell me what you thought of this fic here!)

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #Criminal Minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid self insert #fluff #request #spencer reid request

[unbridgeabledistances]

Prompt: About the 87% scene. Could you write about Mickey lying about having a "boyfriend" when he was in Mexico. And telling Ian that afterall he didn't have his whole Heart because of that "boyfriend". Ian realizing that the way he said those things weren'te the best. Then the confrontation, they talk about it and are cute with one another

anon i am CRYING mickey would 1000% do this!!! why did the writers not make this happen

(actually i’m glad they didn’t, bc these boys don’t need any more drama)

here’s my take (since we all need a little gallavich before the next episode!), hope u enjoy<3

--

“I guess everyone I’ve been with gets a little piece of my heart”

Mickey froze where he was standing, by the toilet bowl and the dust-covered bathroom shelves, and felt his heart sink. The fuck is he talking about?

“Wait, everyone?”

“Yeah. Yup.” Ian froze for a moment, his toothbrush hanging out of the corner of his mouth. “Okay, maybe not everybody. You don’t feel the same way?”

Mickey could almost wince. Fucking Gallagher—didn’t Ian know he was the only guy Mickey had really been with, because Ian was the only one that mattered? Instantly, Mickey thought back to all of the sloppy and excruciatingly boring hookups he’d had with women—back before he came out and was constantly putting on a show, was burying who he really was deep beneath the ground.

Ian looked at him earnestly, toothbrush still half in his mouth, with those steady green eyes Mickey could always get lost in—the only thing keeping Mickey afloat during those darker days, when he felt like everything else was pulling him under. Ian was the only person who had ever made Mickey’s heart race or his palms sweaty, the only fucking person who made Mickey feel like he was here for a reason, no matter what bullshit life threw at him. Ian was the center of Mickey’s existence, and he always had been—how could that asshole not realize that no one else Mickey’d been with could ever compare to him?

“No, I don’t. Y’know what, fuck you” is what Micket wanted to say—he felt the words about to launch off the tip of his tongue. Instead, before he knew what he was doing, Mickey lied.

“Uhhhhh. I guess, man. Y’know, I had that thing down in Mexico with, uh, Julio.” Mickey looked down at his bare feet on the tiled bathroom floor, knowing that Ian would see right through him if he looked directly in his eyes.

Ian’s eyebrows raised in genuine confusion as he leaned over the sink. “Julio? Who the fuck is Julio?” Ian sputtered as he spit out a mouthful of foamy toothpaste.

“Were you not listening, smartass? He was my… my lover. I was in Mexico a long time before I snitched on the cartel and threw my life away for your ass.”

Ian stood up and placed his toothbrush in a cup on the shelf above the sink, turning to look at Mickey, who finally raised his gaze from the linoleum. Ian didn’t look hurt, which was what Mickey was aiming for— more than anything, Ian just looked thoroughly confused, and maybe a little bit amused.

“You’ve never mentioned anything about some dude named Julio, Mick. Where’d you meet him?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Gallagher.”

Mickey stormed out of the bathroom, and turned the corner into their bedroom. It was this fucking quarantine, that was the problem—the same way that they were down each other’s throats when they were cramped together in a tiny jail cell. They were so used to the lack of each other that being together always seemed to make a mess of things. Ian didn’t actually mean that he had been in love with other people— right?

People annoyed Mickey, mostly— sex was sex, just another bland part of his bland life of doing runs for his dad, living in his fucked-up household, getting drunk with his brothers. And then one day, Ian came bursting through his door. Mickey would never forget that first time that he and Ian were together— in his opinion, that day probably permanently altered his brain chemistry or some shit. The day that he was laying in bed, woken up by a pale-faced angel whose chest was just as smooth and beautifully pale and freckled as the skin on his face and hands. And Mickey was also covered with skin, that was apparently covered with super-powered nerve endings that hadn’t done a goddamn thing his whole life, but came alive like ice and fire and bee stings as soon as Ian touched him. Wherever Ian touched him.

Sex was just sex to Mickey, for so long—but sex with Ian was on an entirely different plane of existence.

And the thought of Ian being like that with someone else, especially during that time when Mickey was locked up and there was a wall of plexiglass between them, a wall Mickey had put there himself when all he was doing was trying to protect Ian from Sammi’s bullshit; well, it made Mickey’s stomach churn.

Ian followed Mickey out of the bathroom and leaned on the doorframe of their bedroom, like he knew Mickey needed some space. “You and this Julio guy, you were like, together?”

Mickey kept his gaze downward as he put on a wrinkled shirt. “Hell yeah, man. We lived in a shack by the beach, fucked all day long. You don’t know everything about me, Gallagher.”

“I guess not.” Ian mused, still looking like he half didn’t believe Mickey. “So, uh. This Julio guy. You’re saying he has a piece of your heart?”

“Oh yeah, a big ol’ chunk of it. You aren’t special, Gallagher. In fact, he might have a bigger piece than you do, with all the fucking bickering we’ve been doing lately,” Mickey spat out as he pulled on his shoes.

Ian rolled his eyes, but sensing Mickey’s tension, he kept talking. “Mick, you know I didn’t mean it. You have the majority of my heart. The vast majority.”

Mickey scoffed, feeling more pissed off than ever. “Oh, yeah? How much is that, exactly?”

“I don’t know… 87%?”

Mickey looked at Ian, charging up for a fight. “Fuck you. That’s not enough.”

“It is enough, Mick. I’ve been with so many people I can barely remember their names. You know what it was like at the club. That’s 87% for you, and 13% for every other meaningful connection I’ve ever had in the years we were apart—that seems pretty stacked to me.”

“Yeah, well, joke’s on you, motherfucker, because you don’t even have that much of my heart, anyways. In fact, maybe I’ll go back down to fucking Mexico and see if Julio’s still around.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “Mick, calm down. You don’t mean that.”

“I do, asshole. Excuse me for thinking I had your whole heart, instead of pissing away 13% of it while I was locked behind bars and tattooing your fucking name onto my chest.” Mickey turned to where Ian was blocking the doorway. “You gonna let me through?”

Ian sighed, gently putting a hand up to Mickey’s chest to stop him from barreling past into the hallway. “Okay, listen, all that shit came out wrong. You know you’re the only one that matters.”

Mickey looked at Ian’s hand on his chest, then looked up and to meet Ian’s gaze. “Do I?” he said, in a softer voice than he realized.

Ian smirked, and let his arms glide up Mickey’s chest and around his shoulders, locking him in close. “Hey. Of course you are. You’re the only one I ever wanted to be with forever.”

“Fuck you,” Mickey said earnestly, but he didn’t try to shake himself from Ian’s grasp.

Ian let his hands roam up to cradle the back of Mickey’s head in his hands, making sure he had Mickey’s undivided attention. “Listen. All those people, like Ned or Kash or whoever, they were all an important part of me becoming who I am, and nothing can change that. But they’re all a part of our love story, Mick. They’re all… minor characters, on the path of me getting to marry you.”

Now Mickey was the one rolling his eyes, his tough exterior finally starting to melt. “Yeah, okay softie.” His eyes flickered downward, in one last moment of vulnerability. “It’s just… it’s hard to forget all the stuff I missed out on, all the time we both coulda had. Time where you were with other people and not me.”

Ian pecked Mickey’s forehead, holding him in close. “Yeah, well, we have plenty of time now. Almost too much time. So much time that we’re ripping each other’s heads off.”

Mickey leaned back, and smirked. “Well, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what we can do with all that time on our hands, Mr. Milkovich.”

Ian leaned in closer, Mickey’s face millimeters from his. “Oh yeah?”

As Mickey leaned in to close the gap between their lips, he felt the nerve endings all over his body going fucking crazy again—maybe it had been a bumpy path for them both, and maybe he’d lost some of Ian along the way, but he couldn’t deny that this was worth the wait.

#ty for the prompt!<3 #gallavich #gallavich fic #shameless #ian x mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich

[halfrest]

* olivia holt, cis woman + she/her  | you know freya nilsen, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, most of her life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to suicide blonde by mallrat like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole falling asleep on crowded buses, nights spent anywhere but home, automated ‘to accept this call, press 3 now’ messages seemingly on loop thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is august 2nd, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. 

pinterest.

death tw, drug use tw, postpartum depression tw / freya comes from a family that has plagued irving for years with their stunning reputation on both her father and mother’s side. death or jail was the common theme there. father, conrad ‘willie’ nilsen, was a menace and there was more than enough stories about him from his heyday. mother, holly koch, came from a family where everyone was constantly at each other’s throats. holly dealt with the drama of it all through defiance. she fell for willie hard and fast and was soon caught up in his world, drugs and petty crimes. as was common in both willie and holly’s familues, an accidental teenage pregnancy was the next step. at first, willie was ecstatic and supportive in the way that he usually got. holly moved out of her family’s place at delphinus creek and into a trailer with him at lilac ridge. of course, willie was flaky and asshole-ish and it only took him three months to disappear from town. a pregnant holly still caught up in love did her best during those months of pregnancy. she remained clean, worked to pay rent, and believed willie would be back any day. her younger sister, fiona, who adored and looked up to holly was there to help every step of the way. freya was eventually born and willie never showed up. holly fell into a deep postpartum depression and had to be moved back in home with her mother and her siblings. she couldn’t care for freya at all. a month and a half later, willie returned to irving and holly was ecstatic despite the initial abandonment. and soon after that, both of them were gone, leaving freya behind. / end tw

it’s not as if her parents suddenly disappeared from existence, although freya prefers to pretend that they did. it’s easier to deal with them as nondescript figures in her life. and, at the end of the day, they ditched her. in reality, collect calls from correctional facilities let her figure out that her dad’s been locked up. memories of a woman in youth that looked so much like her and so much like fiona proved that holly was still in and out in irving. freya also remembers that holly never acknowledged her as her own before disappearing once more. she never figured out if it was done purposefully or if it was because that’s just the way her mother functioned. that being said, all potential contact with either parent was short and brief and freya learned to not let it mean anything. there hasn’t been any substantial contact for years now either way. her dad’s in prison. her mother’s missing. 

freya grew up under the care of her grandmother at first, a bitter woman with a husband long dead, who resented having to look after this baby. that only lasted a handful of years ‘cause soon enough, she wasn’t fit and sent off to a nursing home. fiona, who was of age at that time, took guardianship of freya at lilac ridge or at whichever boyfriend’s home.

fiona raising freya was more of a weird friendship/sibling sort of relationship rather than a proxy mother-daughter one. that meant freya had too much freedom, but it also meant there were a lot of screaming matches between the pair and a lot of times freya was left directionless. her aunt also loved serial dating so there were a lot of strange men in and out. not the most reputable guys either, but truth be told those men were providing them with financial support, so fiona was never quick to let them go despite the way things would go sour.

very independent. freya has a lot of practical smarts, although most of the time it’s used for nothing good (knows how to shoplift without getting caught, can talk her way out of most things, knows how to get what from who). she’s someone who does what she wants. discipline is foreign to her and god forbid if anyone tries it. in typical teenage fashion, heightened by the fact that life was set up for her to fail, she’s always had this aura of apathy. her general approach to life is to accept it as it is but make sure she’s having as much fun as possible. of course, as most people do, there was an inkling of yearning there. the shiny gold possibility that she didn’t have to become another nilsen-koch irving deadbeat staple hung at the back of her mind. that she could possibly get out and have some dreams was encouraged by a few teachers. so she ended up trying as much as she could possibly try in her last few years of high school and proved to herself that she wasn’t completely useless. although, it was soon clear that getting into a good out-of-state college required more than just making an attempt — extracurriculars and money and other obvious yet non-obvious things that freya lacked. at the end of the day, her best option was a local college, which wasn’t a defeat by any means cause she had made it and it was college. still, she was stuck too close to irving. she decided to major in business. good at numbers and can talk the talk baby.

kind of always has her foot out the door though. it didn’t take long for freya to fall back into old habits because her life is her life. there’s always a lack of money, another toxic man fiona’s caught up with, another wrench thrown in the works. her education became spacey and full of cracks. she never made it to graduation, dropping out a few semesters in. unfortunate bc she’s the kind of person who could accomplish things if she cared or tried, but the problem is that she does not and no, she will not ask for help <3 she refuses to take anything seriously.

instead of school, she spent time on the road. she had it in her mind to visit her dad in prison in louisiana, not knowing really why she had that urge. maybe it was to properly meet him, ask about her mother, curse him out. but, she never ended up making it out there. instead she got caught up in a few things and with a few people and at the end of the day she once again just didn’t follow through.

now back at irving, freya’s at her usual job at cutie pie’s as a waitress (wanda has a soft spot for her thankfully so there’s always a place for her). she’s moved out of fiona’s place at delphinus heights, mostly bc freya was sick of dealing with her aunt’s disgusting boyfriends, and into the same trailer that was supposed to be willie and holly’s family home in lilac ridge. she found out that fiona had been making payments on the place, expecting holly to return at any time. from childhood, fiona had held her older sister in revere although frankly freya doesn’t get it. told her aunt off for wasting money like that, but still took the trailer off of fiona’s hands, so. shrugs my shoulders.

let’s plot so good everybody.........

#irvingintro #death tw #drug use tw #postpartum depression tw #one intro of three done. wipes sweat.

[alexhandersenx]

There’s no one to save me

Ivar/Reader (Modern AU)

A/N: Hi everyone! First and most important thing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!💕🎉🎂 @flowers-in-your-hayr I want to wish you all the best on this day, I hope you enjoy this day as much as possible and hope this can make it a bit better! This year may not have been our best birthdays but next year we’ll celebrate them twice! You know I really admire your work but much more as a person! Thank you for always being so so nice, you’re great!💖

Second, here it is, me and my shitty writing. This is the first time I ever write anything (you’ll see) but a lovely little bird came and told me about this amazing surprise (@maggiescarborough​ 💖) and I couldn’t refuse. This is the moodboard I chose bc when I asked Gabi about it, I wrote more of a mini fic than a request (sorry about that, honey😅) so I thought it’ll be easier since I already have an idea.

And finally, to say that this can be considered as the first chapter of a small fic???, Idk,  if you want to read something else, I will continue it and if not, it can stay as a imagine. (Any feedback you want to give is always welcomed and will help me in the future!)

Okay that’s all, I think. Now I'll shut my mouth and let you guys read in peace😊

All credits to this amazing moodboard for the birthday girl @flowers-in-your-hayr​

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: First time writing (biggest warning), mention of death and suicide, cursing, drug dealing, a bit of angst, English not being my mother tongue. (I’m not sure if something else😅).

There you were, (Y/N) (Y/LN), facing the most important case you had encountered in your professional career, which, to tell the truth, was not very long. You were 24 years old and you were a policewoman at the local police station on a small island called Samsø, which together with some others as Læsø, Anholt and Sjælland were known as the 'Kattegat Islands'.

You started there when you were 22, with a lot of effort and after years of dedication, yes, it may sound like a joke, since you were very young, but since your father passed away, you decided to follow in his footsteps. He had become chief of police and worked in what was now your office. His death occurred unexpectedly, one day he went to work and didn't come back, your mother and you didn't know anything, but he had been working on a drug-related case for a long time, and they didn't clarify anything for you after his death either, justifying that it was a case of high danger and a secret file.

When your father died, you were given the belongings he was carrying on the day of his death. You didn't find anything out of the ordinary, just his watch, which had his initials on it, the car keys and his wallet, in which he carried the usual: some money, credit cards and a picture of  your mother and you as a child. From one of the compartments of the wallet, a small fragment of a photo was sticking out. It was very enlarged, only a small part of the face could be seen, it looked like a man, but his face didn't sound familiar to you and besides the fragment was very damaged, so you didn't give it much importance. Although you were intrigued to know the reason for that fragment in your father's wallet and you wanted to know the identity of that person, unfortunately you couldn't do anything about it. You put the items back in the bag and kept it in a drawer that you knew you wouldn't open often since it was with the rest of his belongings.

After this incident, you and your mother faced a difficult time when living at home without him was almost impossible. After a not very long period, you were able to return to your daily life and continued, but however, your mother did not get back on her feet, she went into a great depression. You tried psychologists at first and slowly it looked like she was getting better, but it seems she only did it to fall into an even bigger black hole.

From then on, you contacted a psychiatrist, after a year watching your mother was consumed with sadness you couldn't stand it any longer, even though she was resistant to taking medication you couldn't do anything else. She had been going to the psychiatrist for some time and the truth was that it wasn't going as you expected, your mother had a very negative attitude. She tried to avoid medication when you didn't force her, and for that reason none of the treatments worked.

You were desperate, time was passing, and you didn't know what to do anymore, until one day when you came home and you found your mother breathing very lightly and not responding to any kind of stimulus. She had decided to take her own life with a bottle of pills, yes, how ironic. When she was taken to the hospital, the doctors told you that her vital signs were very bad, the intake of medication had to be over six hours ago, and this had already affected a large part of the system. It was very difficult for her to survive, so much so that she couldn't.

21 years, just 21 years when you were left alone in the world, when everyone was getting drunk and having a hangover and throwing up the next morning, you were there struggling to get where you were today.

Although you couldn't have reached that point without the unconditional support of your father's great friend, Officer Heahmund. He had been like a second father to you, the only one you could lean on when these events occurred. Both he and his wife Anne and their little twins always had a place for you.

You could say you'd been investigating the case for a year and it was huge, really huge. Both you and your colleagues had reached an impasse, you couldn't get anything new, so you decided to take the reins and make a proposal... raid the shelter where the organization was hiding. You had managed, after a long time of tracking them down, to find out that every Thursday at 11.30 p.m. they went out to do business. If you calculated it perfectly, you could set up an ambush, surround the perimeter with your agents strategically, and force your way in, so you could examine the interior for clear, incriminating evidence and wait for them to come back and finally catch them and finish the damn case. From that point on, the game would begin.

Ivar Lothbrook, or also known as Ivar the Boneless, was the person you were chasing. Known to be the leader of the organization. Information about him was quite scarce, the son of a bitch knew how to remain anonymous, you didn't even know what he looked like. Although he also took part in the weekly excursions, he never got out of the vehicle they were in and you didn't dare get close enough to the shelter to see them leave, just as a precaution, so as not to spoil the case. All you knew was that the nickname he had earned was due to a disease he suffered from that made him unable to walk, Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

But you did know something else about his brothers, who were in charge of leading the band when they were doing field work and his brother Ivar was not there. There were three more brothers, the elder Ubbe, the second Hvitserk and the last Sigurd. You had pictures of them, which you had studied to a tee, and they didn't have any kind of background, something that caught your attention because in all these bands it's something common, but it seems that they were playing clean.

Tomorrow would be the big day and you had no margin for error. You decided to leave it at that, not think about it anymore. You opened a bottle of wine and ordered dinner at your favourite restaurant. You were going to enjoy that night quietly before going into action.

That night you practically didn't rest, your head didn't stop thinking and you were fighting against it for a long time, until finally you were victorious, being able to sleep. You promised yourself that it wouldn't be the only thing you would be victorious in.

The sound of the alarm woke you up, it was very early, although there were still hours to go, you had to be ready and needed to do certain things before preparing. You had arranged to meet at 8pm at the police station, you would go over the plan and wait until 10.30pm to put the plan into action. The day went away, you had gone out to buy some things that you needed, you had done some sport to clear your mind and you had taken a bath for an hour and a half which helped to relax each of your muscles that had been in constant tension for several days.

You got out of the shower, you started to fix yourself and for a moment you looked in the mirror, from bottom to top, and you looked into your eyes, you saw your father, you saw him in you.

- “Ivar, Ivar, what little freedom you have left” - You said in a defiant voice as you kept looking at yourself and feeling sure that everything would go as you planned.

What you didn't consider at the time is that in a game you don't always win, and even less when you don't know your opponent.

A phone call took you out of your thoughts, you hesitated for a few seconds before reacting, you went into the kitchen and picked up the phone:

- “Hi, (Y/N) here”.

- “Hello, sweetheart, how are you?” Your boss asked with some concern in his voice.

-  “I'm doing good, getting ready to leave soon. Anything happened?”

-  “No, nothing, I just wanted to remind you, that you still have time to stop this, I can send another partner, I don't want you to do this out of obligation” - said Heahmund, with some hesitation.

- “Heahmund, we've talked about this a million times, I'm gonna take care of it. We've gone over the plan every day; we've looked at alternatives in case the first option doesn't work out and you have an expert in infiltrating other people's homes in charge of the plan... What can go wrong? Trust me, before you can tell, we're in your backyard drinking beers with Anne and the girls, celebrating together as a family, while Ivar the Boneless is rotting in jail” - You said with certainty

- “Ever since you were a little girl I've always admired that about you: Determined, brave and a fighter, which has always made you achieve everything you set out to do - he answered with a broken voice” - I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in the world now that no one is around. See you in a bit, Agent 007.

As he spoke you noticed some concern in his voice, was Heahmund afraid of the mission?... Impossible, he was known for his courage and dedication but in this situation,  you could not avoid that this insecurity that you did not feel for a long time will hit you again.

Since the death of your father you had changed, you had become steel, as you said, you had no heart for anyone, you had focused so much on getting ahead and getting what you had in mind that you had forgotten one very important thing, being a teenager. And now that time was gone.

Still, you burst out laughing when he called you Agent 007

- “Thank you, Jack Bauer” - you said, playing along, referring to those movies and action shows you loved to watch together when you were younger.

You hung up and then felt a sense of emptiness and… fear? No, you weren't going to let that happen. You certainly knew that you had to occupy your mind at that moment, or you would go crazy. So, you connected your phone to the speaker and put on your favourite playlist and time passed with you getting ready until it was time to leave. You took the bike keys, a beautiful Harley-Davidson and got going.

When you arrived at the police station your colleagues and Heahmund were already there, you went over the plan and waited for the exact time to start.

It was 11:15, the game had begun. You were about to head for the first stop on your mission. The aim in this phase was to park in the surroundings of the main highway, where Ivar and his people had to go through, so you could check that everything was in order, and that the usual Thursday trip would take place. You arrived before time, it was night and the highway was slightly illuminated by distant lanterns. The place had been carefully chosen as there were certain points where you could wait in stealth.

As time passed, you became more and more nervous and couldn't help it. There was something in your head that wouldn't let you concentrate. Heahmund noticed it and said:

-  “What's going on in that little head, (Y/N)?” - He said in a sweet tone.

-  “Hmm...nothing, I'm fine” - you whispered as you looked for his glance and smiled.

-  “Come on, (Y/N), I know you too well to know that something is bothering you”

- “Ugh, I hate you Heahmund… what if they don't come, if for whatever reason today doesn't happen” - you said losing your nerve a little

-  “Hey, hey, hey and this? Where's my little fighter? They're going to do it, you'll see, and before dawn they'll all be behind bars”

- “How can you be so sure?”

- “I just know” - he said with confidence and came up to you kissing you on the head

You needed it, you needed someone telling you that everything would be fine, with your 24 years you were tired of playing grown-up, strong and lonely. You had always needed that love, but that side of you was known only by Heahmund and he had always been there to give it to you.

You did not have much more time to get melancholy, it was happening, Ivar and his people could be seen from afar. They were organized in three black armoured cars and four motorcycles guarding the sides. You saw how they passed before you, in a heartbeat everything you had feared had happened, the only part of the plan that did not fall on you had worked. Now everything depended on you. You waited a few minutes and both of you, along with several patrol cars, set off. Some of your colleagues stayed in the place so that they could control when they returned and thus warn those of you who were going to the shelter.

Second stop on the mission, the shelter. Ivar and his people owned an apartment building where they used to stay permanently, it was on the outskirts of town, in the middle of nowhere. You had left your vehicles a few meters behind, also hidden, so as not to cause any noise. You found yourselves walking quietly in the dark with your guns in hand, towards an old building. When you reached the right distance, you appreciated the immensity of the building with enough housing to accommodate several families. The facade was neglected, yellowish-coloured, and you could see the doors of each house, white and many of them peeling and battered. Plus, right next door was what looked like a big warehouse. Everything was surrounded by metal fences.

Your companions began to take their positions as you had planned and you and Heahmund continued to approach, until you reached the side of the fence so that you could climb without attracting attention.

You looked at Heahmund and nodded just as you turned to move forward alone you noticed how he grabbed your arm, your heart racing as he said:

- “I'll keep an eye on everything that happens, the moment I hear something out of the ordinary, even if you don't say the code word, we'll get in and get you out”

- “Damn, Heahmund, you scared me... yes, I know, don't worry” - you said losing your patience a little

And now it was time, holding your SIG Sauer firmly in your hands and checking for the last time that the microphone you were holding in the middle of your bra was properly placed, you were ready to move forward. You approached the front door of the warehouse. If there was anything interesting to look for, it would be there. You pulled the lock pick out of your pocket and picked the lock easily. You opened the door a couple of inches, at that moment your heart felt like it was going to come out of its socket. You checked that the light inside was off, you continued to open it completely and you went inside quietly. It was all dark, you stood still for a few seconds to pay attention to all the sound around you. You could only hear the “tick tock” of a clock. You looked at the wall for a light switch, found it and turned it on. Several fluorescent lights illuminated the big warehouse, some of them failing and blinking making the place even more scary. For a few seconds the light blinded you because of the contrast of the dark night to which your eyes had been used so far. You took a quick look, ducked your head and whispered into the microphone:

- “Clear”

You raised your head and for the first time you stopped to look around. It was immense, the walls were covered with high shelves where there were pots of all kinds, some were full and some were empty, there were boxes, masks, safety goggles, gloves and all kinds of chemical devices. There was a long table on the side with many chairs, some lying on the floor, others on top of the table... that place reminded you of a typical high school lab from which the most you could do was decant a mixture. You were surprised... they were cooking drugs there... "Well, what a dump" you said to yourself; you thought everything would be much more careful and not such a messy place as that.

And in the middle of all that mess, at the end of the room you found a big wooden desk and a big black leather armchair behind it, it seemed that that little space didn't belong in the room, it was all tidy and on the table the only thing that was there was some papers, small pictures and office material. You approached and saw some maps with certain points marked... What were these points? You thought that it could be some meeting place or points of sale, you took out the PDA and uploaded the photo to the police station network.

- “I think I found something, I just uploaded it to the network” -You said in a whisper

You didn't have any answers, nor did you notice much of it, since you got caught up in a huge painting right behind the desk. In it appeared a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair. It was just a painting, but you could feel the elegance of that woman in it. Next to her was a taller man who looked slightly older, shaven and with a long beard with white locks. He was in a suit and showed a great presence just like the woman. But there was something that caught your attention, the look of him, his intense blue eyes seemed to pierce you as if you were seeing them in person. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes betrayed his maturity. You stared for a while, curious, until you came back to reality, took a quick look again to see if anything could be useful, but nothing. So, you retraced your steps and headed for the door. You tried to communicate with your colleagues again:

- “Guys, nothing else around here, I'm going back to my starting position” - You whispered again.

And at that moment you froze, you were listening to yourself double and your "double" was coming right out the door. Time stopped for you, you didn't understand anything, and the only thing you could think of was to hide behind the door. This one opened little by little and you started to listen how people came in... one, two, three... you were counting the steps to be able to calculate the number of people, you lost the count to the fifth since such a quantity would be impossible to face and come out victorious.

- “SHHHH, shut up... do you hear it?” - said a male voice you didn't recognize.

What you could hear was your breathing shaking through a walkie... at that moment the world fell apart. A police walkie in the hands of those assholes, something hadn't gone right, and you didn't know what.

- “Yeah, it smells weird too, doesn't it?” - said another male voice, but this one sounded much more ironic.

- “I don't know Ivar I don't smell anything... what do you smell?” - Said a third voice, the closest so far to your position.

- “Mmm I don't know it's a disgusting smell, something like... police”

At that very moment they closed the door, leaving you exposed. You saw five men, but you didn't have time for much else as the one closest to you, that you came to recognize was Ubbe, grabbed your arm and made a quick movement blocking it, causing your gun to fall to the ground. He drew you to his body by placing your back to him and holding your neck with his arm, doing a lock around it to immobilize you. You looked ahead, saw a young man slowly approaching you and examining you from bottom to top until your eyes connected, deep blue and intimidating gaze. To tell the truth, he was a very attractive guy, but that idea was automatically erased when you remembered who he was. Something stirred in your stomach, you didn't know if it was fear, hate or a mixture. Slowly a cynical smile appeared in his mouth. Definitely, it was disgust what you had noticed in your stomach seconds ago. You could have tried to get out of that grip, but you didn't see the point, they were five men over six feet. It was impossible, to get out of there. Ubbe kept pressing his arm against your neck, causing your senses to slowly fade away.

- “Well, well, and I thought this wasn't going to be fun" said the boy in front of you in a hesitant voice. - Nice to meet you, I am Ivar Lothbrook - he said extending his hand

That was the last thing you could see and hear before you lost total control over your body and thus your senses.

The game had started... like a shitty one.  

#vikings fic #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar #ivar the boneless #modern ivar #ivar imagine #ivar lothbrok #ivar lothbrook x reader #moder ivar imagine #ivar the boneless fic #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar lothbrook fic #ivar lothbrook imagine

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #352

my head’s a mess and a half, i can’t think of lyrics to put here so yeah here’s the survey

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? Uh I think it was a pepper in this Healthy Choice dinner bowl I had yesterday. What was your last Facebook notification for? A friend liking this photo I shared of some beautiful, small rock and pebble sculptures of people. What bands have you seen live? Just Alice Cooper. Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: She only has one kidney due to the other being taken out because of kidney cancer when I was a kid. Coincidentally, her father was actually born with only one as well. What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? Nothing really comes to mind. What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? SUPER against? I dunno, man. What are your plans later today? I don't know. Yesterday my mother informed me that Jason's mother died, and since then I've been in shock. I was in awful condition yesterday because I absolutely adore(d) her like she was MY family, and once upon a time I thought she would be officially, and I still feel very, very dead. I doubt I'll get anything done today. Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Definitely not exciting... Mom and possibly I are probably bringing Jason's family food for the family get-together they're having (we're not staying for... obvious reasons), but she's unsure because it might be a bit too awkward. I'll stay in the car because I don't want to disrespect Jason's space, but I REALLY want to go through with this. His mom was so important to me, and I don't want to just... do nothing as if she meant just that. I want the family to know I never stopped caring just because there was a breakup. Plus I wanna give Jason his favorite chocolate bar to try to bring him a bit of happiness. I can't imagine what he's feeling, and my instinct of "I need to protect him" absolutely never went away. Who do you talk to the most? My mom. What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Go to bed before 9PM, sometimes even before 8. And my knees pop like a motherfucker. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt and Sam. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither; instead, I just wish it was clearer. I have extremely dry skin, especially on my arms, so I have little bumps and marks there, as well as little freckles over my body. Having like, porcelain skin would be amaaaazing. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? Keep it. Look more badass, haha. Have you had an x-ray in the past year? I think so, on my legs. It may have been over a year ago, idr. Do you think your first love still loves you? I don't want to know. I really don't. What is something that is “going right” in your life? *blinks* When did you feel ready to start dating? Seriously, probably late middle school. When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? My snake Venus has never bitten me. Meanwhile, my cat Roman lightly (and sometimes not so lightly...) bites me pretty much every day when I play with him, lol. Where were you the last time you made out? My bed. When was the last time you cried tears of joy? I probably haven't done that since I met Sara irl. How do you type your sad smileys? One of these three: :( or :c or :< Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? No. What was the last soda you drank? Mountain Lightning, a Mtn. Dew ripoff bc we're cheap, lol. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Have you ever had any type of surgery? Yeah, a cyst removal as well as tubes in my ears. Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? Uh no????? Who was the last person to hit on you? That I'm actually aware of, Sara. I'm quite sure nobody has since. What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? I was too weak to even clean the litterbox last night. I just wanted to go to bed. I need to do it today. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? Hm. Maybe that I didn't love Joel? It was just really awkward and I felt awful about the whole situation. What do you put on hot dogs? Ketchup and mustard. Ever fallen in the shower? I've fallen OUT of the shower. I was extremely dizzy and was trying to get out, and I just passed out onto my chin. Broke some molars and got a concussion. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about? Probably a bitch or something. Do you think that things will get better? I sure hope so. Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? I guess I kinda have. My WoW friend Lisa and I were talking, and she wasn't feeling well at all when she suddenly disappeared. Coincidentally, her husband got home RIGHT when I messaged her again, wanting to check up on her, and he heard the alert so checked it out. Lisa was knocked out on the couch having some medical emergency with a name I can't remember, and he just thought she was sleeping. Because of seeing the chat, he took her to the hospital when she probably would've died otherwise. She insists I saved her. What’s your favourite book genre? Fantasy. Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? No. Do dogs like you? They definitely seem to. Animals in general honestly do. Would you say that you project an air of authority? Definitely not. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. I've always wanted to, but I was too scared at any opportunity. Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) I just use one. I dry my hair first, then my body. Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No, but I did see one of them from a plane when I was flying to Sara's. Who do you know that had a baby recently? My high school friend had her daughter Persephone literally a couple days ago. Cute little thing. Do you like Usher’s songs? Oh wow, what a blast from the past. I don't even recall the names of any, but I remember I enjoyed some as a kid. When was the last time you went to a waterpark? Wow, it has been YEARS. Like, not since I was a teen. Have you ever ridden a train? No. What do you eat your French fries with? Ketchup, sometimes. Do you have family problems? Not really. What’s the last food you ate that was stale? Bread, I think. How do you like your grilled cheese? Just a normal 'ole grilled cheese. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video games. Have you ever been close to drowning? Yikes, no. Have you ever had a panic attack? Countless. Do you like doing housework? No, who does? Would you ever get implants? Nah. Do you own a robe? No. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? I don't trust people who don't eat pizza crust. What was the last song you listened to? "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. It's making me cry, but I really need to. Have any of your family members been to jail? No. None that I know of, anyway. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? An old friend, yes. Can you remember when you first learned how to read? No. What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? My mental illnesses as a whole. Have you ever had any teeth pulled? No. Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? No, but only because it's not realistic. I don't want to travel. What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? I don't care about TV 'til MM resumes, and then absolutely whenever The Edge of Sleep is released. Mark is a key actor in it. How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? I couldn’t be. What is your favorite Queen song? Ha, I'm aware this is probably everyone's answer, but "Bohemian Rhapsody" is the bop of all bops. Do you know how to use any foreign currency? No. Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? BEEN kissed, yeah. By Juan. Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? No. When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Now. What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? It was a group date where we went to this big arcade one night. What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? None. What is the reason you’re still alive? That's a big answer that I'm not in the mood to ramble about. Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? Yeah, oops. Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? No. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) HAHA this was the only lucid dream I've ever had lmfao. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? I don't remember. How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Like shit. "Virginia's still dead" just bitchslapped me. Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Well yeah. Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Yes, because I really did. Have you ever been threatened before? Yes. Would you date someone with a physical disability? Yeah. Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? Probably. The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Red. Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? My mom. Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? What income? Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? No. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. Are your parents in good health? Not especially. They're both probably unhealthier than the average person. Dad smokes way too much to be healthy, and Mom has a plethora of issues. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No; it sounds awful, but I'm very doubtful I could be because I canNOT clean another human being. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? No. Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? They're black Pokemon pants with Pikachu jumping by the logo. Do you have any interesting pillow cases? No. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My knees. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Both, but situationally. Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? Only once for prom. They were maroon, like my dress. Wait... or maybe I didn't wear them? Fuck, idr. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American history is way more fascinating to me.

#survey #surveys #questions

[scone-lover]

@findingniamho​

HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 

Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!

So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 

So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.

Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.

Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--

“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”

I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 

As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--

t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.

(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)

Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 

Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.

I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 

“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”

This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 

Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 

There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.

I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.

I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.

I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.

A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.

I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.

I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”

PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 

And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.

I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 

I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.

Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 

I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 

Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.

Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.

I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.

I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either

“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”

I know. This one’s bad.

He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.

I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.

I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 

Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.

Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.

“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”

I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.

Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.

“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 

Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain—there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.

Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet

I think Penny is just me in this.

“Over-easy,” I whisper.

“That was over-easy,” he says.

Not my best. But it had to be in there.

I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:

I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  

My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.

Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:

You're washed out, egghead

*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk

I had to go "beat" some eggs

*uppercut* Sunny side UP!

I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’

Some people are just bad eggs

Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 

#ask #fanfic asks #ask game #dvd commentary #holding out for a hero #heroverse #hero fic #superhero snowbaz #the golden blade #hfh #behind the scenes #bts #writing things #hfh behind the scenes

[okaybutlikeimagine]

Max getting jealous of Billy's and El's relationship cause she got the big brothers always wanted right off the bat while max suffered with douchebag billy for years. Angst ensues, naturally.

Yes. yes. And YES. (I hope you don’t mind that I mixed these two!!)

Okay i have so many thoughts about this and w/ every little thing i write that includes Billy and El i think about what it must do to Max. bc i love Max and I wanna give her hugs and ohmygod guys MAX.

(And i should probably preface this by saying I haven’t read Runaway Max so i don’t necessarily know what’s canon but also i’ve been melting canon down to what i want it to be so i guess this won’t be very different from what I normally do, huh??)

Anyway i talked about it in the ask prior to this but I Highly Believe that Billy and Max’s relationship pre-move-out-mayhem was bitchy at most. Like I think they were snarky and a little rude to each other but they were still supportive. Bc they lived in a house w/ a man who got mad so frequently. and i don’t think Neil ever touched or ever will touch Max (i have extended thoughts on this but we don’t have to get into it here, i’ll just leave it at the gist) but Max knows something is wrong. Sees the bruises on Billy’s face and hears the yelling and the harsh sounds and harsher words. Never ever talks about it bc Billy always barks at her if she tries. But she’ll let him have the last popsicle he loves so much or she’ll let him take as much time as he wants fixing his hair in the bathroom in the morning or just any little thing that makes something even a little better. Bc she’s still a kid at this point, there’s not a lot she can do, but she can do little things like that.

And i headcanon Billy as having been a brat but still doing things for her. Like when he has to babysit her and he’ll take her down to the boardwalk and buy her an ice cream but he’s like: “Don’t get used to it.” as if he didn’t just do something super nice. He does her hair for her bc as a kid she was Helpless at putting her hair up and so he started helping her and just never stopped. Did her hair for her bc it was easier than sitting down to teach her. Cooks dinners for her or even w/ her when Neil and Susan are out to dinner or out of town or whatever. Drives her to school every day when he gets a car and they argue over music but really she kind of likes his music, even though she’d never tell him. She gets into some of the bands he likes and steals a couple of the band shirts he lifted from stores when they get too small for him. He teaches her how to skate and even gives her his board when he gets his car. She’s ecstatic about it and he brushes it off by pulling at her hair and saying: “Whatever, dipshit, now I won’t have to drive you to the candy store or wherever it is you go.”

She punches his arm.

He chuckles and kicks at her heel lightly as they walk.

They just… they’re brats but they’re SIBLINGS. And yeah they’re half siblings but Billy is adamant in S2 about the fact that they’re family. That boy loves Max and Max loves Billy bc they grew up w/ each other and faced so much shit together.

But right before the move… and during the move… and after the move…

Billy gets so rough. He’s angry all the time. Stops doing her hair and yells at her when she asks. Laughs when she tries and fails to the point where she just leaves her hair down and unbrushed bc it’s just easier. He’s on edge all the time and takes it out on her and he vaguely sees himself doing it but he’s red and angry and uncaring bc fuck this fuck all of this.

He blames everything he sees bc it’s easy and facing the reality of his whole situation is hard and he’s just tired. Wants to be given a break but he hasn’t been given a break for years now so he’s absolutely exhausted. He kicks and punches walls and he slams his door in Max’s face when she asks him a question and he shuts himself away bc it’s easier to do that than face anything and it’s bad. But Billy isn’t sure what qualifies as bad and good anymore, he just knows what hurts and what doesn’t and everything hurts but hiding almost makes it feel like it doesn’t. He used to not mind being his sister’s keeper but now he fucking has to babysit her goddamn 24/7 and he’s in a new town where he knows NOBODY and he can’t be open here bc it’s in the fucking midwest and he’s just angry and hurt and so damn fearful so he gets mad. Stressed. Takes it out on everything and everyone and Max.

So Max loses her brother.

She loses him mentally and emotionally and then she loses him physically.

Bc Hop finds out, and he adopts Billy, and then Billy’s gone. But Billy makes it very clear to her once he’s gone that “If anything and I mean absolutely anything happens with Neil, you tell me straight away. Got it? I’m living with the goddamn Chief of Police now, we’ll get that guy in jail so fast I swear.”

Max just nods.

But nothing ever happens. Neil is kind of a dick but he doesn’t get as angry. He’s strict but not physical. It makes Max angry though bc she hates the thought that it was just Billy that made him so horrible. She doesn’t wanna believe it. Sure this man gave her her brother but she hates him for pushing him away.

And Max loves El. She really does. She loves El to the moon and back, hanging out with her is an absolute blast, having a friend who’s a girl feels like a godsend sometimes bc boys are stupid and girls are soft and pretty and lovely.

And she tries real hard not to be jealous of El. She really really does. And she tries real hard not to get mad at Billy either, really. It’s just that…

It sucks. And it hurts. Bc Billy is so calm with El. He’s so brotherly and caring and good with her. He takes her to ice cream and does her hair and jokes around with her. He lets her brush his hair and he buys cookies and stuff for her and they have little inside jokes now. He’s soft and gentle with her. He shows her new music and he hugs her all the fucking time and wow it sucks.

Because Max had to deal with all of it before it became this. Saw all of Billy’s pain and felt pain in her heart over it and then saw through Billy giving her pain and felt physical pain over that and then saw him leave and now feels emotional pain over the fact that she doesn’t get him anymore.

And he still drives her to school everyday. He still drives her around when she asks, even if he bitches about it. He shows her new music and he willingly hands over his too small band shirts. He’s still a protective little shit over her. He hangs out with her and messes around w/ her when she goes over to visit El.

But the thing is… El gets to keep him… and Max has to go home to no one.

And Max likes her mom. Would never wanna leave her mom. Her mom is the one thing that keeps her grounded to her previous life- her life even before Billy. Dealing with dickish Neil is sometimes worth it bc she still has her mom.

But her mom isn’t really home all that much. And even when she is, hanging out with her isn’t as cool or fun; sometimes it’s kind of draining. She just wants her brother back.

And Max is a goddamn firecracker too. Just like her brother. She’s hotheaded and straightforward and she just gets so frustrated bc whatthefuck. But she doesn’t wanna lash out at El bc it’s not El’s fault and she doesn’t really wanna lash out at Billy bc she’s happy he’s happy now but goddamnit she had to deal with all of the trauma and now El gets him at his best without the worst and she’s just pissed.

So sometimes she’ll get fed up. She’ll come over to hang out and she hears Billy and El making their own little inside jokes and watches Billy pick El up and swing her around while El giggles and sees Billy helping El read things like titles to movies or cereal boxes or ice cream cartons and Max’s face will get red and she’ll storm out of the cabin grumbling about skating home.

And Billy doesn’t like that, doesn’t really want her skating home from here, so he follows her out, leaving El inside, shouting: “Wait up, Max, I’ll drive you.”

“Don’t bother.”

“Quit being a brat, you shouldn’t be skating that far this late.”

“Me skating home never worried you before.”

“Cut it out, I just don’t want anything happening to you-”

And Max turns, face red, hair in flames around her head as it whips around her and she yells: “You’re not my brother anymore!”

And Billy is seriously taken aback. Bc to him he never stopped being her brother but here Max is, angry and spitting in his direction with her anger, gripping her board tight and her nose crunching up in that way he almost forgot about.

Max huffs.

“Just go have fun with your new sister.”

Billy’s chest flares up.

“Fine, shitbird!”

Max gets on her board and shoots a middle finger up behind her as she skates away. Billy slams the door when he heads back inside.

And they make up real fast. A few days later El wants to see Max to go shopping and there’s no one to drive them but Billy. So they’re a little pissy with each other but Billy gets them a couple of sodas and Max hip checks him a few times so he knows they’re cool again.

But there’s still that tense feeling in her chest. That sick feeling in her throat. That pounding in her head as El tries on a bunch of shirts and Billy jokes around with El and ruffles her hair and pokes her forehead.

She watches them interact and it presses at her chest too hard so she forces herself to speak. She needs it off her chest she needs it gone.

“Billy?”

“Mm?” He grunts out.

“Do you… like El more than me?”

And god something about it cracks Billy’s heart. Bc he loves Max, he really does. He’s done so much in his life to protect her and help her and teach her. They grew up for years together. They’ve been through too much shit for him to not love her. and he’s never seen her so self conscious before.

There’s a long pause of them sitting there, Billy’s head spinning a bit, before he looks to her and takes a dramatic sigh.

“You know… to be honest… I hate all of you runts just about the same.”

He chuckles when she punches him. “I’m being serious!”

“So am I! You big group of nerds leech all my money,” Billy begins counting the list on his fingers, “make me your personal driver, keep me from fucking my boyfrie-”

“Shut up! God you’re so grody!” Max shoves at his shoulder.

“Grody? Excuse me Max, grody? Who are you?”

She shoves him again and sighs. Billy watches her.

“What’s got you so worked up, brat?”

Max grumbles, nose scrunching up before she gives an angry huff.

“I hate this. I don’t want to hate it but… you’re supposed to be my brother.” She’s angry, face turning red but there’s almost tears in her eyes and Billy hates seeing them there. “And El gets you when you’re nice.” she tilts her head back against the wall and looks up to the ceiling. “I bet she doesn’t even know how much of a dick you can be.”

Billy chuckles.

“I’d beg to differ. I’m still being a dick.”

“Doubt it.”

“Seriously, Max. You know me, I was born a jerk.”

“Were not.” she mumbles. He flicks her ear in response.

She yelps. “Hey! Jerk!”

“See?” Billy laughs and lightly shoves her shoulder. “Quit worrying about it. I’m serious. Yeah El gets me now that I’m in a good spot but you understand me, y’know? We get each other. Or whatever.”

Max rolls her eyes but seems pretty pleased with the answer. Billy gives a satisfied grin before folding his hands behind his head and leaning back.

“Besides…” he drawls. “It’s no secret that Will is my actual favorite.”

Max punches his side and Billy makes a pained noise over his chuckle.

“See? Will wouldn’t hit me!”

Max rolls her eyes again but she’s smiling. She’s glad Billy still thinks of himself as her brother bc she doesn’t want him to go away. She lost him once and doesn’t wanna lose him again. 

And yeah it still kinda sucks… but she likes the relationship she has with Billy. Plus, after their little talk Billy starts being overly nice to the point where it’s clearly a joke. He grabs the sides of her head and gives a big, dramatic kiss to the top of it. He scoops her up into bone crushing hugs. He holds doors open for her and acts real dumb about it and starts calling her things like “Sister dear” to the point where Max just says: “Cut it out you’re being annoying. Just go back to being a jerk.”

He laughs and punches her shoulder lightly.

“You got it, shitbird.”

#billy hargrove #max mayfield #eleven #el hopper #firecracker siblings #stranger things #billy hopper #billy gets adopted #harringrove #but only very briefly mentioned #ask #anonymous #i love my lil firecracker siblings #they are hotheaded and adorable and doing their damn best #angst #fluff #i loved writing this ohdear #notice how every time it got angsty i backed right out #i don't know why i did that woops #also i ran too far away w/ this i'm SORRy #it got real carried away right at the beginning #i just have so many thoughts!!!! #i had to preface everything w/ how i feel Max feels!!!!! #so we can understand the pain!!!!!! #♥ #thanks so much for the ask my dears #this was too good and i'm crying

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura S2-S3

“If you had called me, I would have fixed it for you” Get u a man who wants to fix ur bike’s flat tires

“I wonder which teacher will be in charge of us this year” I’m going to hazard a guess that it’s the one that you keep having prophetic dreams about battling in the moonlight

“Ms. Mizuki is kind, is pretty and she makes me all dreamy” lmao @ this criteria for justifying whether ur sensei is up to no good

U know, Sakura melting like 10 feet of snow bc she lost a present from her crush is exactly the type of emotions I expect from these preteens

Syaoran liking Sakura is also very funny because she’s very observant of other people so it’s like [Syaoran blushing and glancing at Sakura] [Sakura glancing back in befuddlement]

“But when you do, it means you’ll see him as well” WILL U STOP THIS OMINOUS MOONSHADOWING 

Does EVERYTHING Mizuki says have to be some kind of prophecy

Syaoran is really just becoming progressively more infatuated and embarrassed with every scene

“You’re always watching over Sakura, aren’t you?” Tomoyo doesn’t need a voice to call people out LOL

You see this is exactly my point what is the reason for having a voice card if you have a song card or vice versa what’s your logic Clow

LMAO I SHOULD’VE KNOWN:

Sakura: Why r u both here

Toya: It’s Take Your Boyfriend to Work Day

“Sakura is cheerful as usual today” “That’s all she has going for her” Very older brother kind of statement

That shot of Syaoran showing his strawberries to Yukito (and Sakura, by extension) cutting to Toya, cutting to Ms. Mizuki.... the interpersonal dynamics at play here

“You know her from before, right?” THAT’S ONE WAY TO PUT IT

**Go to jail Mizuki

“I’ll tell you in a little while” Toya is not prepared to have discussion about his Relationship History at this time

I mean I’m not an expert but isn’t Sakura’s main magical item a key wouldn’t that help with this Lock situation

YFDHSKHFKJSHFK Mizuki could you be more threatening

I assume the wind will cover up the noise of this loud magical chant

“Don’t tell dad I have a fever” 😭😭😭😭😭 Sakura you’re so little someone needs to take care of you

“If I do [stay home], I’ll trouble everyone else” SAKURAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“It was about Sakura” TOYA’S BIG BROTHER MODE ACTIVATED

LOL TOYA’S SUSPICIOUS GLANCES ARE EVERYTHING JHDJKHFKJ HE CAN SENSE THE “GHOST” IN KERO

Well if the living plush toy didn’t give it away, the fact that Toya has already met and identified Mirror as a ghost will

Ddfhjkdhfkj Toya didn’t even pause he was just like [Sigh] ‘Guess I’m gonna feed a ghost now’

“I have a vague idea of what she’s up to” OH MY GOD TOYAAAAAA

Awww Meilin holding Sakura up to capture the Clow Card you know what that is? Growth

This kind of domestic shopping nonsense is the shenanigans I NEED

Syaoran is physically winded from running away from his feelings

OMG STOP THESE PRE-TEEN DREAMS ARE SO CORNY AND GREAT LMAO @ SYAORAN FANTASIZING ABOUT HIM AND SAKURA BEING THE LEADS IN A MOVIE TOGETHER WITH HIM GIVING THE CLOW CARDS AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR A WEDDING RING

Gljlgkdjlkgjlkf I still cannot believe they let 11-year-olds roam this freely they don’t need an adult to BOARD A TRAIN??

“They’re foretelling dreams” So if we believe this, here are the future facts:

1. Sakura’s gonna do a fashion show for Tomoyo 

2. Syaoran is going to give Sakura all the Clow Cards and maybe propose 

3. Yukito and Toya will definitely know Kero is a living creature and they’re gonna be chill with it

4. Normal battle prophecy stuff

“Seeing Ms. Mizuki... it makes me all dreamy”

*Sakura really only crushes on people that her older brother had feelings for first this is like when I was into Yugioh and Beyblade bc my brother was into them first 

**Go to jail Mizuki

“I don’t want to be the prince” Will u want to if it’s u and Sakura tho

This was pointed foreshadowing I could not have predicted

[Chanting] ALL DRAG FAIRSTYLES ALWAYS

“I just woke up” u LIAR Toya you wanted to make your baby sister breakfast

SYAORAN WHERE WERE YOU EVEN KEEPING THAT BIG OLE MAGICAL SWORD TASSLE

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS TEAMWORK COMBO ATTACK WE LOVE A PARTNERSHIP OF POWERS

“Isn’t that a guy playing the Queen” are you in any place to make a judgment Toya

“Please, seal us together” Light and Dark confirmed as Lesbian Icons

“The final decision rests with Yue, but please do your best” LMAO IS THE REASON THAT YUKITO IS ALWAYS CHILL HANGING OUT WITH HIS FIFTH GRADE BEST FRIENDS IS THAT HE IS SCOUTING THEM OUT FOR YUKITO’S NEXT DRAG SUPERHERO

U know if I did not have very hazy memories of who Yue is I could be tricked into thinking it was Mizuki lol (but then again TSUKIshiro soooooo maybe it’s obvious always lol)

“That bath sponge” “Kero is at Tomoyo’s house” ‘BATHSPONGE’ MEILIN PLS

AW rescuing lost birds turns out Syaoran has always been a sweetheart

Meilin finally gets to use her martial arts skills and help again!! Good for her

“I’m your fiancee until you find the girl you like the most” Not to put a damper on ur cousin marriage dream (stop) but that ship has sailed twice over Meilin 

“There’s another person” WELL WELL WELL HOW THE TURN TABLES MOON MAN

“Being with you is rather useful when capturing Clow Cards” is Syaoran’s way of saying “<3 <3 <3″

Syaoran is really conflicted bc he likes Yukito and he likes Sakura but when Sakura likes Yukito he wants her to like him instead this is truly a broad range of emotions for Fifth Grade Romance

Ddfjhdskfhk Kero looks so serious scouting out the intentions of the Toya’s Magical Exes Club but his face is like “>:[”

“You’re the one that uses the powers of the moon” What does this MEAN that’s supposed to be Yukito???? I am confused

“There’s no such thing as a coincidence...” “...There’s only inevitability” So now Toya’s joining the prophecy game? This is A Lot

Omg I do love the big lion version of Kero I forgot what he looked like

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BIIIIIIIIIIIITCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Too lenient as always” “And your personality is as bad as always” I don’t think I care for Magical Yukito he’s being a little harsh

“He completely cuts all ties between his disguise and his consciousness, so that the candidate doesn’t sense him until the Last Judgment” so his subconscious just happened to feel like being a 17-year-old boy who wanted to date Sakura’s brother LOL

DON’T BE A BITCH YUE YOU’RE FIGHTING AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO PERCEIVES YOU AS SOMEONE SHE CARES ABOUT

Oh my god NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO FORGET WHO THEY LOVE

This is so fucked up kjhgkfhdg Sakura’s family forgetting her mother, Sakura and Toya forgetting Yukito, Tomoyo forgetting about caring about Sakura, Syaoran forgetting about caring about Sakura ahhhhhhhhhhh

WELL WELL WELL MS. MIZUKI CAME THRU THANKS WEIRDO

**Still jail tho

OH SHIT NEW MAGICAL STAFF I LOVE THIS AHHHHHHHHH

“I want you to be friends with me, nothing like Masters or stuff like that” SAKURAAAAAA

“You knew that Mr. Tsukishiro wasn’t a human” “Yeah” TOYA WHAT!!!

The fact that Yukito doesn’t know his other half is kind of a bitch has very Yami Bakura energy I can’t believe what I needed in my life was Yugioh but less Heterosexual

iii

“If you leave that early, Yuki won’t be there yet” So... is Toya just chill with the fact his boyfriend is the moon

I don’t want Syaoran to leave!!! He is a sweetheart and I love him

“He seems like a nice boy” is thiiis the rude boy I remember from watching this when I was a kid bc ngl I was confused when Syaoran was nice bc I remember someone being a little shit

“I didn’t mean to surprise you” said Eriol, after popping out suddenly from behind a tree

Syaoran said ‘I will only share Sakura’s affection with one (1) boy and that is Yukito’ 

“I’m not going back. I’ll be here for a while.” I can’t tell if this is a New Magical Person thing or a ‘I love my friends and don’t want them to forget me’ thing

DHJKGHKJHG this random girl just clinging to Toya’s back and eyeing Yukito like “WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT MISTER”

I guess since Meilin’s gone Nakuru’s going to fulfill the role of Unrequited Crush Gal Who Cannot Read The Emotional Room

Clow Reed really appearing to just throw Sakura’s entire life in disarray

“This is the first chance to film you in a while!” Tomoyo you have filmed Sakura going strawberry-picking and playing whack-a-mole since when do u need an excuse lmao

“I don’t think we made plans like that” again Toya since when do u and Yukito need plans aren’t you together like 22/7

Syaoran refuses to show Sakura that he’s feeling anything beyond blushing and yet he gets mad when other people are more forthright with their emotions and honestly what a teen mood

“I.. you” rude I can’t tell if Nakuru interrupted a love confession or a I Know You’re the Moon confession but either way rude 

“You don’t know? Then I’ll take him” WHAT DO U MEAANNN THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS

“Eriol is a kind person” [Thor meme voice] Is he though?

As much as the jury is still out on Yue I really do love these magical girl transformations

These group meet ups have gotten even less subtle you might be able to hide some cosplay and a plush toy but a full grown man and a lion with wings??? Gjkghkjdhgk how did they get to Penguin Park with no one noticing

There is some satisfaction in there finally being an adult (or at least a kind-of-18-year-old) on their team

Oh my god??? OH MY GOD? WHAT A POWER-UP I LOVE IT SAKURA GETTING HER OWN CHANTS AND CARDS GOOD FOR HERRRR

Poor Toya it’s worrisome when ur baby sis is a magical superhero

It’s interesting and hilarious that Yukito’s appetite is proportional to his alter ego’s use of magic

“Because she’s like you” Toya IS trying to tell Yuki that he’s a moon person awwwwwwww

If we’ve learned anything from Tomoyo’s choir recitals it’s just that perhaps singing is more dangerous than any of these kids would prefer it to be

Nakuru aside from the fact I’m pretty sure you’re a new Big Bad leave Toya alone he doesn’t want to be touched and he’s with someone already

I like that no matter how many times Yamazaki lies, Sakura always takes it in good faith

I have given up on this show having anyone have a normal relationship with their teacher (except Wei who has done nothing wrong ever in his life)

“I’m sure that the person you like is happy” shout-out to Tomoyo for being semi-well-adjusted I guess 

“The kid is being controlled by something” GUESS WHO JUST BOUGHT STRINGS FOR PUPPETS IT’S SUSPICIOUS NEW KID 

If I know my shojo manga tropes it seems like this Friend vs. Friend battle is going to lead to a Hug of Passionate Restraint

Psych it was a Hug of We Are Tired From Magical Force

Who are you British Bitch Boy with your Bitch Cat haven’t they been through enough

“I’m surprised you’ve held out this long without a single bite” do NOT eat TOYA

“And I’m not a human in the first place, so gender doesn’t really matter” I am so tired of anime creating non-binary characters only to make them evil and/or inhuman blah

I DON’T CARE FOR ANY OF THIS WE DON’T NEEEED AN EVIL ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD AND AN EVIL KERO AND AN EVIL YUE NOBODY ASKED

“Why did I buy this thing anyway” u know why Syaoran 

LMAO YUKITO DRINKING OUT OF A FULL SIZE MILK CARTON KILLS ME

“The only times I turn red or feel like my heart will explode is when I see him” Incredible it has taken Syaoran like... 18 episodes to realize his feelings for Sakura. Bisexuality be like that sometimes

SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DID YUE COME OUT JUST TO GIVE SYAORAN BACK HIS TEDDY BEAR

“The reason why you are confused when you see Yukito is because of the magic powers from the Moon that you feel from Yukito” did Yue just say ‘ur not bi ur just confused’ kjhkjdhdgkj Yue confirmed for biphobic

Really how many things does Eriol have to ruin before Sakura realizes he’s evil? The piano.... thread... a teddy bear

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SAKURA HAS WINGS IT’S A REAL MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION AFTER ALL

You know if Elementary School Clow is NOT evil this is a really fucked up way to be teaching a lesson

Toya come help ur boy Yukito is exhausted and he doesn’t know why :(

Ahhhhhhhh this tree leaning scene is the exact and only thing I remembered about the interactions between these two before watching this now

“I don’t want you to disappear” THE ROMANCE RETURNS

“Are you doing this on purpose” Toya has had it up to here with his confessions being interrupted

BOOO Toya was right I don’t want Yue-kito to disappear either

“There is someone suited to this, but Yukito...” KJHGKJDHGJHDKJ IS TOYA GONNA BECOME THE SOURCE OF YUE’S MAGICAL POWER I’D DIE

“You knew this would happen if you called Tomoyo” I mean... Kero’s right

I don’t know that Erase in particular was necessary for the sheep but it does make me giggle to see Sakura lift playground structures

I was gonna say I’d wager ten dollars something happens to that bike after Eriol touches it but then I remembered this episode is called “Sakura and the Panicky Bike” so it’s not really even worth betting

Of course your family members are going to worry if you suddenly develop magical narcolepsy Sakura 

I LOVE that Toya’s magical powers seem to be developing more as well

I feel like not enough people are giving Sakura credit for the fact she is like 11? She hasn’t had a lot of time to work on this stuff

“I can’t let [the cards becoming ordinary] happen! I finally got to be friends with all of them” 😭😭😭😭😭 Sakura’s good heart always gets me

“What are you going to do?” SHE’S GONNA PUT HERSELF IN A MAGICAL COMA 

Cell phones are a hilarious addition to the plot and I love that they are like top of the line bc it’s the 90s lmao and that Li is include in the phone tree 

“If you collapse, I’ll catch you” KERO NO. 1 SAKURA STAN (tied with Tomoyo and Syaoran)

Lmao these siblings would be born on a Leap Day and April Fool’s respectively

SCREAM at least it’s on brand for Eriol to be a pathological liar (also RIP Sakura and Syaoran for their gullibility still)

TOYA PLAYING HIS MOTHER’S SONG REST IN PIECES MY HEART

Sdkhkhkjdhkd Toya failed confession count: 4 this time feat emotional piano ballad

Also also I will say it’s not like Yuki doesn’t come to your house VERY frequently Toya couldn’t you just tell him what you need to say the numerous times he is visiting or going with you to school

Oh hey! I share a birthday with Sakura’s great-grandfather that’s funny

“Nadeshiko was only 16 years old” YEAH SO WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING GRANDPA UR NOT THE ONE TRYING TO DATE TEENS U R TEACHING

I know Kero being seen on the TV is for giggles but the implication that magic makes you playable on VCR... incredible

I want to know what Toya’s gift was!!! 

Hahaha I guess that the Alice and Wonderland size-shifting would have more of an impact on Sakura’s empathy than most people 

“Two-thirds of all cats on earth right now are aliens” I mean... if we go by the cats we have met in this show.... Yamazaki’s right

“Actually, I have a rather mischievous personality” NO KIDDING ERIOL

“Where are you going” “To where the queen is” I will DIE if the Queen is Toya but I assume the Queen of Hearts will be Sakura’s mother actually since that’s the kind of anime trope that u should expect

Yue dropping Sakura like a hot potato is a little funny he can stay 

What is more ridiculous Syaoran hiding the sword behind his back or the fact it worked

“Then... it’s not Yukito?” that was one whole crush ago keep up Sakura

“I am the Queen” WELL THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING AT ALL KJFHGKJHGJHGJKFHG

Current list of things that Eriol has ruined: Pianos, threads, teddy bears, sheep plushies, bikes, leaves, 

The transition to Eriol’s deep adult voice always trips me up

“Don’t hug me” “I’m going to hug you” Respect! Toya’s! Boundaries! Nakuru!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL @ Spinel’s drunken tirades I won’t lie I love this erratic behaviour

Guess Syaoran is over his Yukito crush for real but boy cannot stop running away from his feelings for Sakura poor guy

AWWWW THIS TEDDY BEAR MONTAGE OF SYAORAN BEING AT PEACE WITH HOW HE FEELS NOW

LMAO DID ERIOL JUST TRAP THESE TWO IN AN ELEVATOR TO WORK OUT THEIR INTERPERSONAL PROBLEMS THIS SHOW IS IN SUCH A WEIRD EMOTIONAL PLACE

“I’m glad for you,” said Eriol/Clow, who has repeatedly mildly traumatized these kids but seems to be like ‘it all evens out if I do some preteen matchmaking’

“Hey, can I call you Syaoran too?” Awwwwwwwwwwww that’s cute also it’s wild that in the pacing of this show despite like probably at least thirty episodes of them being friends THIS is the first ep (Ep 57!!!) that they address each other by first name

HJGJHGDHGFHJG AMAZING HOW IS SAKURA GOING TO HIDE A FULL GROWN MAN (WHO SHARES A BODY WITH THE PERSONALITY HER BROTHER LIKES!) AND A WINGED LION IN HER BEDROOM

OHJFKJSDHFKJSHDKJFHKJHFKJHKJHDKJHF I CANNOT CONVEY THE COMEDY OF THIS MOMENT IN WORDS SO:

“So that even if [my dad] was reincarnated, he would still fall in love with [my mom]” Interesting reveal that Yue was actually in love with Clow (makes sense; he’s the ‘I’m gay I’m homophobic we exist’ meme) but the only romance I will accept for Yue is if he ends up in a Greedlingfan-esque triad with Yukito and Toya and that’s that on that

Poor Yukito he must think he’s going nuts he just appears places with no memories 

Well this is hardly a fair match up Syaoran can’t be expected compete with a reincarnated ancient wizard

GOOOOOD WHY DOES ERIOL DELIVER HIS CRYPTIC MESSAGES OF ADVICE THROUGH SPORTS GAMES

“It feels more like [Eriol] is watching over someone very dear to him” Tomoyo correctly discerns that Eriol is the bearer of fucked up magic lessons

Wow Tomoyo is really here to talk Syaoran through a whole journey of emotions 

“I.. you...” OH MY GOD SYAORAN AND TOYA START THEIR CONFESSIONS IN THE SAME WAY JHHJSGFDSGJH WOW 

It’s okay Syaoran you did your best no one in your immediate social group can finish a confession it seems

“You were trying so hard so hard to confess your love for Sakura last night” Tomoyo really doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to her romantic pep talks huh

Awww Syaoran wants to tell Meilin how he feels about Sakura first 

Uh oh post-battle Meilin has taken note of Syaoran and Sakura’s use of each other’s first names

“If something happens, please think of me” AWWW Tomoyo looking out for Meilin’s feelings that’s my girl

“What makes me even madder is that I still can’t grow to hate Ms. Kinomoto” awww Meilin  

“You’re a tardy little monster” suspicious Toya is one of the best parts of this show   

The fact that Sakura doesn’t think Toya knows because he’s not making fun of her... tru sibling energy

Failed confession count: 

Toya: 5...6

Syaoran: 2

TOYA IS SUCH A SWEETHEART BUYING PRESENTS FOR THE CARD THAT PROTECTS SAKURA AHHHHHHHHH AND OMG HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT MIRROR LOOKS LIKE

Sakura loves the cards and the cards love her I love one (1) Cardcaptor

“But now, he helps me out a lot” “That’s why I don’t like him” AWWW TOYA 

“I will see you again in your dreams tonight” could you be a bit less creepy Eriol

OH NO CURSE OF THE DISAPPEARING BOYFRIEND TOYA YOU GOTTA HUG THE MAGIC BACK INTO YUKI

Tomoyo is an impeccable wingman for Syaoran she has had his back at every step

WE LOVE A POOL PARTY EP YEEHAW 

"I don’t ever want you to disappear” Toya’s declarations are getting more passionate with each failed confession (also I see that when he grabs Yuki’s wrist he stops fading)

“If you use magic in here, you don’t know who might see you” so they’ll notice her hiding behind a half rock wall but somehow a glowing waterslide will escape their notice???

“If Sakura had used her card any later than when she did, you were going to stop your magic” I feel like that is the LEAST Eriol could do

“Do you dislike swimming now” OH HOW NICE TO CHECK IN WITH RIKA AFTER YOU ALMOST DROWN HER

“You’re just lacking experience now. I’m sure that you will be able to do it. Skiing... and other things.” “You said that before! What does that MEAN” Syaoran is tired of Eriol’s Cryptic Sports Advice too

Dghgfjdgfjhg Sakura crossing herself in preparation for hearing a scary story lmao

Current failed confession counts:

Toya: 7

Syaoran: 3

Eriol confirms he will not kill preteens in an avalanche just to teach them magic I guess they had to draw the line somewhere

“I know the truth... that in reality you are...” Does it count as a failed confession if it’s for a scene?? Also are they the leads of this student film bc if so wow

“I know what’s really going on. That you are...” Well we’re definitely up to 8 now

:(((((((((((( It really hurts Toya to see Yukito like this SAVE HIIIIIIIIM

“At this rate, Toya’s important thing will be taken away” like what his love virginity LMAO

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S HAPPENING THE FACE TOUCHING THE REVEAL HFDUHFKJHFJDHFKJHDJGHJKHGJHG

“If I don’t see you, I can’t give you what I want to give you” a kiss?? LOL

“I want you to protect Sakura, and also protect yourself” OH OH OH 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOYA YOU’RE SO SELF-SACRIFICING THIS IS SO SWEET U WANT TO PROTECT UR SISTER AND THE LOVE OF UR LIFE SO UR GIVING UP SOMETHING THAT’S A PART OF YOU THE MELANCHOLY THE INTIMACY I’M WEEPING

“It’s obvious that you, a child, can’t support all of it” Ahhhhhhhhhh so many reveals at once poor Sakura, Toya was only helping

In truth I did not think the power exchange would happen all at once I thought it would be like recurring boyfriend whack-a-mole:

Yukito, sleepy: I’m off to battle

Toya: K bye Yuki [intimate embrace]

Yue: [Catches sleepy Toya]

“I want Yukito to know my true feelings” I mean I’m gonna tell you right now Sakura I think he’s in love with your brother and also you’re like 11 but u do u I guess

“It doesn’t matter what you are. As long as you don’t disappear and are at my side, I don’t care about anything else” Toya ur so romantic

“I’m all right. Just a little sleepy.” Oh how the narcolepsy turntables.....

I know all I want to talk about is Toya right now but he is so PATIENT and GENTLE with his sister’s feelings god

“But the person that you like the most isn’t me, Sakura” why do both halves of Yukito feel the need to moonsplain people’s feelings to them jkhfgkjjhfjhfjkh

HAHAHAH I was wondering how Yuki was going to handle this preteen love confession and he just went ‘No. Family-zoned.’

“You realized this because you have someone you like the most as well, Yukito?” 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

“Is it my big brother?” “Yeah, it is” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Though I think that Toya is my number one, I’m not sure of his feelings” HE GAVE UP HIS MAGICAL POWERS FOR YOU TO BE AROUND HIM FOREVER YUKITO HOW MUCH MORE REASSURANCE DO YOU NEED

Omg the vowing to yell at each other’s future boyfriends khkdhfkdhfs I love this friendship good for them 

Eriol really DOES trap people in enclosed spaces to work out their interpersonal problems this reincarnated 11-year-old relationship therapist my god

“But if I cry or make a sad face, I’m sure Yukito would be troubled” poor sad Sakura but also I’m kind of glad she didn’t abide by Yukito like... telling her how she felt? It would’ve felt a little insincere to walk ALL of it back but I think she was mostly doing it so Yukito and Toya could be together in peace

“It’s all right. I’m sure you will find him” SYAORAAAAAAAAAAANNN

Awww Syaoran is so happy about this Grand Gesture scarf <33333333

“I knew that Sakura’s feelings for me weren’t completely the same as her feelings for her father... But I can’t delay her finding her true number one because of her feelings towards me” no shit Yuki but also maybe it was an okay call it gave Sakura a simple out

Toya’s gentle head touch as he gives Yukito reassurance aaaaaah

“He’s going to steal away something that I’ve been cherishing all this time” this is Toya’s weird way of saying he gives Syaoran and Sakura his blessing lol (lot of these blessing going around lately)

Toya’s love language is touching Yuki somewhere from the shoulders up

“I feel like he’s still alive and he’ll come to make fun of us at any moment” ur not wrong Kero

“But I’m still not you, Mr. Clow” U JUST BE URSELF SAKURA!!

What we have learned from this trip to the past so far is that Mr. Clow has always loved to give people cryptic messages and then disappear

I DID NOT EXPECT A MONTAGE OF BLOOMING FLOWERS TO BE WHAT MADE ME SHED A TEAR IN THIS ANIME BUT THE SYMBOLISM - CLOW’S WORDS - SAKURA UR SO GOOD THIS IS A NICE SHOW

“It’s Clow Reed’s fault,” said Clow Reed, eleven years old, about himself

“Why did he have to trouble Sakura so much?!” Kero said FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH CLOW REED SAKURA IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND

I appreciate that Yue was like, ‘Gotta bring Toya with me to the battle I can’t just leave him in the street’ 

Sidenote: What made them start running in the first place was it the loss of light or was it just Yukito/Yue going ‘MY SAKURA SENSES ARE TINGLING’

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINAL BATTLE KERO VS. SPINNEL, YUE VS. RUBY MOON, SAKURA VS. CLOW???

OH SHIT TRANSFORMING EIGHT CARDS AT ONCE WHAT A POWER UP 

Make that six cards but STILL

“Light and Dark are the first cards under our jurisdiction” I AM RIVETED 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

SCREAM THE TEAM SUN MOON STARS GROUP HUG MY CHEST WILL BURST

OH FINAL WAND!!!!!!!!! MAGICAL FRIENDS EDITION

SYAORAN HELPING HER TRANSFORM THE CARDS TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAMWORK

“We are friends with you, right Sakura?” KEROOOOOOOO YUEEEEEEEEE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

“I like you” [Cut to classroom] Oh awkward seems like Sakura kind of verbally left Syaoran on read for that one

“Wouldn’t conversation be more pleasant when there are tasty sweets around” Sdfhkjshfkjshfkj unbelievable Eriol-Clow wants to have his final words of wisdom delivered via tea party

“There were a couple of things that happened that weren’t expected by myself or Clow Reed” LOL he means Syaoran and Sakura and also probably Yukito and Toya jhjhdfjkh fair it’s just the never-ending charisma of these siblings 

Oh hey Ms. Mizuki what are you doing at this weird tea party (go to jail)

If Mizuki was in college when she met him he was what???? A baby??? How old ARE you Eriol

“You’re not going inside, Yue?” I was WONDERING why Yue wasn’t part of this ridiculous gathering lmao

“But I can talk of old memories... If it suits your fancy, I will talk whenever you want me to” Ahh Eriol trying to provide Yue some closure 😬

WOW ERIOL EXPLICITLY EXPLAINING THAT HE DID NOT EXPECT THE ROMANTIC DYNAMICS AT PLAY JDHJHFDGHKDHGKHDKFJ 

Omggg Sakura created a new card for Syaoran ahhhh they’re really very cute

“That bear... Can I have it?” The way these confessions were written is really VERY GOOD

What a WEIRD SHOW but u know it did something to my heart 

#ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblog ccs #might as well post this one too #i did not watch this in a day but i did watch it in a week so what does that say #liveblogging #long post

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

now that the episode has aired i’m putting this oneshot on tumblr bc if i post it in multiple places it makes me feel like i’ve been writing more than i have been:

title: layers

rating: m

word count: 1k ish?

spoilers for s10ep6 bonds

Daryl is in her room when she opens the door, and she doesn't startle at the sight of him even though she wasn't expecting him, because they don't surprise each other anymore. Instead, she gives him a mild expression as she lets the door close behind her.

"What's up?" she asks, leaning down to undo her laces.

"The Whisperer?" Daryl asks, sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs spread wide like a man taking up two full seats on the subway. His elbows rest on his thighs, his hands dangling in between them, and he's rubbing the tips of his thumbs together mindlessly.

"Still won't talk. Michonne has a guard on him in the jail for the night. She wants to see if Lydia might know him," Carol says, toeing off her boots and lining them up alongside the wall.

"Don't want her gettin' involved if she don't gotta," Daryl mumbles, and Carol does a sad little upturn of her lip. It's bittersweet, seeing how protective and loving a dad Daryl is. She wonders—well, no, not wonders, because she knows it's fact—that if he had been her children's father they'd all still be alive.

"I told her you wouldn't," she says. "She said we'd discuss it at the council meeting."

"Alright," he says, an acknowledgement and begrudging acceptance.

"That's not why you're here," Carol says then. It's not a question, and Daryl doesn't answer it even if it were. A fleeting furrow goes across his brow as he ducks his head and watches his hands twiddle and fiddle idly. "What's up?" she asks again.

He doesn't answer right away, like he's still gathering all the words and putting them in order. While she waits, she pulls bobby pins from her hair and lets it cascade down her back. Daryl looks up in time to see her thread her fingers through the loose curls.

He keeps his eyes fixed where her hair rests at her waist when he asks, "What if I don't want good?"

"What?" she asks. There's a vulnerability wafting off of Daryl that makes her want to cross her arms to protect herself from it, but she keeps them down by her sides.

"You said there aren't many good ones left," he says, lifting a hand to his mouth to chew on a cuticle. He has the nervous habits of a little boy that serve to remind you that his roughness is just an act. Not that she needs a reminder. If anyone knows how soft he really is it's her. 

She says,

"I did."

And he says,

"What if I don't want good?" Like it'll make more sense a second time.

"Daryl, I don't—" but he cuts her off.

"Good is nice and all—real safe—but that's all it is. And what the hell's the point of that, you know? Putting in your all for nice and safe? Why bother in the first place?"

"What would you want?" she asks, looping her hair around a finger like a teenage girl, because although her softness is buried deeper, it's still there. He thinks about it.

"Layers," he says after a beat.

"The hell does that mean?"

He drums an arrhythmic beat against his knee, before pushing himself up. Carol takes an involuntary step backwards so she's flush against the door. He steps just on the outskirts of her bubble.

"It means layers," he says. "A mix of all of it. It means being sweet and on fire at the same time. It's joking around when it hurts. Layers means someone who'll make you wonder if you wanna kiss the hell outta 'em or rip your own hair out, or maybe both at once."

Carol tastes acid in the back of her throat as her body dumps a surplus of adrenaline into her veins, like she were at the top of a damn roller coaster in the split second before the drop.

"That's a tall order," she says, managing to sound steady. "Wouldn't it just be better to go with good?"

"The King is good," Daryl says. "So you tell me. Is it better?"

"No." She doesn't even have to think about it. "Not at all. But it's easier."

"Easy don't mean better." She can hear his shaky inhale as he crosses the border into her space. They aren't touching, but they may as well be.

"Daryl," she whispers sadly. She ducks her head, but his hand takes a gentle hold of her chin and makes her look up again.

"You said I don't hafta be alone." He swallows, trying so hard to keep eye contact. "Am I alone?"

Carol's heart hurts so bad she could cry. 

"No," she says, feeling hollow. "But I'm not the one who should be keeping you company."

"You ain't good, Carol, but you've got good inside you—it's all part of the layers. And that's good enough for me."

If she cared about him at all she wouldn't let him kiss her, but all her internal strength combined isn't enough to make her pull away. She lets him breach that final distance, lips touching lips. She hasn't kissed someone and meant it in years, and who knows how long it's been for him, but the learning curve is overshadowed by the feeling of home. His lips are home, and she's been away for so long. Or has she ever even been here before?

They wrap themselves around each other as easily as tangling up a ball of yarn. Hands find stretches of bare flesh to explore, knees bump against each other, mouths explore jawlines and collar bones. He's sucking bruises into her skin like they're kids necking under the bleachers, and she's making breathy little sounds like she's the type of woman who makes noise during sex.

They find the bed in a choreographed tandem neither one prepared. They simply move fluidly in innate understanding. They roll around the double bed she makes every morning out of habit, and finally she doesn't have to feel lonely laying in a bed made for two.

Clothes are shed, tossed haphazardly on the floor. She's middle aged, her muscles hidden underneath bruised and battered skin. 

Here's where the bullet went in. Here's where he burned me with the cherry of his cigarette. Here's my old C-section scar for a baby that's been dead and gone for years. 

He touches every inch of her like she's the best thing he's ever seen.

They fuck. Make love. Screw around. She doesn't know which one it is this first time. It isn't good, they aren't good at it—it's layered.

There's anxiety with every new thing, which bleeds into the realm of excitement. There are pinpricks of pain where he nips at her, and the pain morphs into pleasure. She burns at the stretch of him, and instantly needs more. She's elated, and there are tears in her eyes, and she's so mad at refusing herself this for so long.

He gets her there, and it's such a relief and a loss at the same time, because the build up is half the fun. She pets his hair through his orgasm, and is remiss to let him go.

It's not until well into the afterglow that Daryl speaks again. It's a funny thing for him to say, because it's obvious, and Daryl's never been one to speak the obvious, but she appreciates it nonetheless.

"I don't want good," he tells her. "I only want you."

#i already put this up elsewhere #but it makes me feel better about being super behind on gas gauge lmao #caryl #caryl spoilers #caryl fanfiction #dunlap writes shit

[caligobeltrao]

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol. 

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching. 

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction. 

Let’s just jump in, shall we? 

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual. 

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts. 

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in. 

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool. 

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman. 

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil. 

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot. 

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show. 

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole. 

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them. 

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book. 

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney. 

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him. 

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around. 

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard. 

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional. 

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted. 

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice. 

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network. 

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words. 

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus. 

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel. 

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris. 

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me. 

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!! 

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal. 

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose. 

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really. 

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really. 

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots. 

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross. 

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have. 

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here. 

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know. 

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire. 

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion. 

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!! 

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know. 

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her. 

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window. 

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing. 

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel. 

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble. 

#bloodybrahms #ask #no joke i spent like 5-6 hours total writing this i had a Lot to say

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

Echoes (Aldo Raine x Reader)

Anon Request: "hellloooo :) love your stories, bb 😭 I was wondering if you could do something kinda angsty, post war and Aldo's got shell shock and feels guilty bc most of the boys never came home, and reader (fem) was a basterd and helps him through it? Sorry if it's a lot 😭 thanks love!

@inglourious-imagines @owba-chan @war-obsessed

Let me know if you wanna be tagged in these! :)

It had been five years.

Five years since the war ended.

Five years since Shoshanna's theater was incinerated.

Five years since the remaining basterds went home...

Aldo had lost men. Good men.

They weren't just basterds.

They were all his brothers.

All along the way, each and every one of them faced the living breathing nightmares they called the enemy...

And after five years, the nightmares seemed to follow into their psyche.

After five years, sometimes the war still seemed to be going on.

Especially to Aldo.

He never forgave himself for losing them...

Andy Kagan...

Then Simon Sakowitz.

Then it was Michael Zimmerman.

A year passed. Everything was going so well...

Then, according to Bridget von Hammersmarck, John Hicox blew his German act.

They lost Wicki, Hugo, Bridget, John in one night. They lost Hirschberg somewhere along the line that night, and didn’t even realize it until morning.

Then Donny, and Omar.

They almost had it all.

And Aldo never forgave himself for it.

He was alright during the day. Most nights he slept like a rock because he worked so damn hard...

It was a cycle...

He worked long hours, day in and day out to keep his mind busy.

The pension that came with the medal of honor was more than enough to live off of.

The medal requested by Hans Landa.

"That fucking medal..." Aldo practically spat as he threw it into a closet the night he came home, five years before...

Hans Landa... Not a day went by without Aldo thinking about it...

Somehow, that animal survived and made a mockery of the brass, the allies, and the basterds, while most of Aldo's boys died fighting the good fight...

Aldo seemed calm and collected the day they got the medals. It was him, Smitty, you, and Landa standing together while people gave speeches about honor and bravery. The truth was Aldo didn’t listen to a word of it. The whole time, he couldn't stop thinking of murdering Landa...

The only reason he didn’t was because of you. 

The war was over. 

If he killed Landa, Aldo would be in jail for life. He’d never see you again...

Aldo also knew he was the closest thing Smitty had to a father.

Aldo kept it together from that moment on, for your sake, and for Smitty’s...

But there were times his mind was fogged over with one thought:

"If I could trade my life for theirs, they'd all be standing here right now..."

It was all in a brief glimmer of agonizing remembrance in his eyes every so often.

You held his hand when you saw it. A few times on the porch of his cabin up the Smoky Mountains. Sometimes it was in town, in Maynardville. People tended not to notice. They were just brief glimpses of the war overtaking Aldo's eyes.

You were the only one that could see it.

You only realized it because once upon a time, you were there too.

You held his hand firmly, and spoke gently, "It was war, Aldo...You couldn't change a thing..."

Sometimes he'd force a smile, and take a breath, "I know darlin'.... I know..."

Sometimes he'd just nod silently and stare into the distance...

For the most part, Aldo kept it together.

He was Aldo the Apache, after all.

He'd smile all day if Smitty called him. His heart was full when he looked at you, the girl that somehow made him the happiest man through it all.

Still, you and Smitty were all that tied Aldo to the war...

You knew that.

And that was also why you hesitated in marrying  Aldo at first. You didn't want to be a constant reminder of the war he left behind.

Soon you understood that no matter what, he couldn't leave it behind. He needed someone that understood, and that was you.

Most days, you were all he needed.

But some nights...especially around the time of year that Operation Kino happened... some nights it just wasn't enough.

It had been five years exactly.... Aldo refused to go to any military reunions, any banquets or interviews.  He went to work that morning, like he always did. After all, a basterd’s work was never done...

Aldo didn't say much that day, even to you. He left for work earlier than usual, you were still half asleep. But you felt him kiss you  on the forehead before he left.

He came home about an hour later than usual.

He wasn't drunk, but you could smell a hint of alcohol in his breath when he hugged you... He held on for a moment or two longer than usual.

Usually, you couldn't shut him up at dinner. Usually, his belly laugh would make your heart sing. He'd usually clear his plate in the blink of an eye and sweep you away to listen about your day, or listen to the radio.

But that night, he was silent. He hardly ate a thing.

He murmured a sincere but quiet "Thank you, darlin'..." as he got up and then silently washed the dishes...

You sat at the table for some time, wondering how you could change his mind.

It wasn't his fault...

Order were orders.  You all knew what you’d gotten yourselves into when you agreed to do Operation Kino.

It was the war, not him, that got the boys killed.

That fucking war....

You went to the living room to find him...or hoping to find him.

But he wasn't there...

You peeked out the window onto the porch, expecting to see him sitting there and smoking.

Nothing. The night was dark. Mist and fog was beginning to float up the  mountain. The crickets were all you could hear...  You shut your eyes, and you could hear the crickets in the middle of the night, back in France. You could hear Donny fighting Omar over: The Red Sox were definitely better than the Giants. You could hear Wicki and Hugo’s arguments. You could hear Hirschberg and Smitty talking about home.   You opened your eyes, and shook your head as your heart sank with a teary smile...

"Aldo??"

You looked around the cabin until you finally reached your bedroom...

You sighed.

You gently pushed open the door, and walked into the dim room.

Only the light from the hall seeping in.

You saw his outline, sitting on his edge of the bed.

It was only seven o clock.

But...it was the fifth time it had happened.

You got into bed by him, and laid there silently.

Eventually, he laid by you. You slipped your arms around him,  "I love you..."

You felt the tension in his shoulder ease just an ounce as he said "I love you too." You could tell he was hurting, but you knew him. He wouldn’t talk about it because you were there. You knew too well what was in his mind. This was the best you could do...after five years, you knew that. 

About an hour passed. You were still holding on to Aldo. The entire time, you'd been praying for them. For all the basterds you lost...

Even for Smitty, who was about to become a father...

You noticed Aldo's breathing had slowed down. He had finally fallen asleep...

You slowly let go of him, and looked to the ceiling, thinking of the good times you all had...hoping your prayers were enough as you closed your eyes.

It was about three in the morning.

Aldo's nightmares that night  were reflections of the worst of war... He lost them all over again. He watched each and every one of his boys die. Somehow, he lost Smitty, and he lost you...

Over and over again.

It never ended. 

The droning of bombers flying low, the marching nazi boots...

No amount of scalps changed what happened back there.

What was done was done... Those boys were never coming home. Bridget would never trip the light fantastique up another red carpet again.

 Shoshanna and Marcel would never be recognized for anything...

Aldo was shaking in his sleep, angry at the nazis, never having so much hate for them than at that moment... Angry that he couldn't save his boys... He was sweating, shivering, tossing around, losing them for the thousandth time in the night, "NOOO! NOOOO! NO! FUCK! FUUUUCK!  BOYS I'M SORRY! BABY NO! I'M SORRY! I'M FUCKING SORRY!-"

You shot up, scared for a moment, but realizing what was happening.

Aldo could see blood. He could hear engines and marching boots. He could see his basterds’ corpses.

"Sh, sh, it's ok, Aldo! Aldo, listen listen to me, you're home! You're  home, love... Sh..." You held onto him, swaying gently trying to calm him down.

He leaned his head against your chest, you ran your hands through his hair as he shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. He listened to  your heartbeat

The only thing that reminded him you were alive...

He at least still had you...

He could still hear he marching...the screaming. He could see the fire...

"Aldo...It's over now. It's all over..."

He held onto you, his hands resting shakily on your ribs, where there was a scar. A deep gash that ran from your side to your chest.

Nazis once tried to take you from him.  You comforted Aldo all those years ago, the night he almost lost you...a hun couldn't cut out your heart because Aldo already had it...

That night broke Aldo.

That was the night he lost his first basterd, and the night he realized he loved you.

It was the night he realized the boys were more than just his soldiers.

They were his family...

And after all those years, it hurt knowing that he'd never see them again...

It was war, but it was never ok.

You were all he had. You, and the rare visits with Smitty.

Sometimes it all seemed in vain.

There were hordes of nazis that got away with it...

One of them was living on Nantucket fucking Island...

Sometimes it made Aldo scoff...

If Donny were around, he would've personally made sure Landa never stepped a goddamn foot in Massachusetts.

It was a disgrace... sometimes Aldo felt like his work was never done.

But there was nothing he could do about it. The war was over, and he couldn’t go back in time.

He knew that.

He was back up the Smoky Mountains, back in Maynardville Tennessee. He had you to hold, and no one to fight off.

No more guns firing, no more tanks. 

No more basterds...

It was just you and Aldo...

It wasn't easy... There were times he felt it never would be.

A basterds work was never done, but he wasn't alone.

He had you. 

#inglourious basterds #aldo raine #aldo the apache #inglourious basterds imagine

[discanio]

『LUKAS GAGE ❙ CISMALE』 ⟿ looks like MADDOX DISCANIO is here for JUNIOR year as a PSYCHOLOGY student. HE IS 23 years old & known to be AMBITIOUS, CARING, ANXIOUS & OVERBEARING. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ mack. 20. est. she/her.

boink! maddox is easily one of my favorite and earliest muses ( i've been playing him on & off for abt 5 yrs now ). pls love him. tw for adoption, neglect, abuse, alcohol, illness, hearing loss (???), corrupt government systems.

born as  maddox atkins in cincinnati to a mom who was a addict during day and bar tender by night, she had three sons (  twins and an older sib ! ) who she didn’t really know what to do with. in her defense, she was still a kid herself, barely 18 after his brother was born and the twins came along five or so years later.

maddox has never met his father and frankly, hes not even sure where to start. there’s no name on the certificate, and his brother was too young to remember any names or faces.

went home despite doctor suggestions ; rattle in his tiny baby lungs, underweight but not by a scary margin. she took the twins home because she didn’t have a babysitting for his brother, and didn’t want to leave him alone for too long by himself.

he was a pretty chill and easy baby —— kind of an omen for how he is now, really. didn’t cry or make much of a fuss. half the time his mom didn’t pay him any attention anyways, but she liked the quiet he provided late at night. it seemed baby  maddox preferred sleep than crying his little heart out.

his mom, angela, didn’t want kids – but these 3 kids were depending on her now and she wasn’t even sure how to start the whole foster care thing. instead, she really left them to their own devices –  maddox’s brother was the main care taker to his younger siblings. it was rough and things were hard. kindergarten for the older wasn’t even a thought – all he learned was from the tv. eventually, angela had gotten a more stable job during the day, dropping of the oldest off at school while she took the twins to the cheapest daycare she could afford since she hadn’t enrolled him in preschool yet.

illness tw / this was where he had contracted bacterial meningitis – age four. before that came a common old, from being around other kids and his mother had ignored it. luckily, his day care workers had not —  maddox was taken to the hospital after it had gotten worse under their care and he had guardian angels looking out for him that day bc had they not he probably wouldn’t be alive.

a consequence of having this disease is his mild-moderate hearing loss — moderate in the right, mild in the left.

all 3 kids were taken out of angela’s home and placed into foster care after a well fare check, finding things to be out of place and unkept. it was probably for the best.

when he was five, maddox was placed and then adopted by the discanio family – they already had three kids, and maddox fit right in with their perfect image. it wouldn’t be until he grew up later that they’d realize just how wrong they were about that.

elaine was a realtor and lionel was a police chief - before that he was a general in the military. what his kids don’t know was that he was removed with a bad condunct discharge due to previous outlandish conduct during his time serving. 

now - the only reason he was allowed a position on the police force, even more so a high level position, is because the department was already corrupt. filled with evil people who abused their power, and lived by their own inhibitions rather than helping people. it was an open secret in their shitty little town. lionel was definitely the type to take the kiddos on family shooting range days as ‘family bonding’ . just discanio tings

abuse tw / lionel is not a nice man. often times, maddox would have to stand up for his adoptive mother in arguments, which often turned physical. the man scared the shit out of him — and for good reason. 

it was only a matter of time before people in their small town began to notice the lack of care and respect when it came to their department. what was most shocking, though, was that members of said force were helping local gangs ( and some in other cities ) were exchanging information for illegal firearms. one of this people? ding ding ding. lionel discanio.

there’s a trial going on now - but due to the fact that it’s long going and that maddox still isn’t sure exactly how many people are involved in this whole operation and that there’s new evidence of things happening such as fraud and links to murders with said weapons - it’s literally going to take forever. 

eventually, his dad got bing bon boomed into jail — but maddox still is on edge about it.

at radcliffe, he’s a psychology major. so he can deflect in class<3

other stuff !!!

despite his hearing impairments, he never shuts the fuck up — he’s also fluent in asl, but for the most part he settles in just fine with verbal speech thanks to his hearing aids  – just make sure he’s looking at you just in case. deffo has a potty mouth – not sorry ‘bout it either.

very flighty.

alcohol tw // has been using alcohol to self medicate since later high school — teenage rebellion and all that. it’s definitely carried over into college.

the type to be pessimistic & optimistic at the same damn time.

has a crippling fear of abandonment<3

bi baby!!!

maddox.

#radintro

[talkingismylifewrites]

So I saw in one of your replies you came up with a mob boss au. Would you ever write it and put it on A03 cos I would LOVE to read it. Also please say John's the mobster who's like "if you mess with Roger you'll die" so a rival gang kidnap Roger to blackmail John. But then Roger turns out to be trained in combat and beats the shit out them all and escapes and when John hears he's just like "I fucking warned you not to mess with him!"

okay this is a) a long time coming and b) was born from me watching all of narcos in like...a week

in fact, it legit started with me texting lo “maybe i’ve been watching too much narcos but.....” 

okay so our story begins with the knowledge that roger’s dad ran the mob

like roger is his heir and his son and his dad is the Big Kingpin

john’s dad is a shitty little lackey who has waaaaaaay too many debts so he grew up in the mob?? but lower ranks

and john sorta started getting involved when he was like 10 or so bc no one looks twice at the nicely groomed white kid right? and his dad was Desperate

and like he and roger had this whole Star Crossed Lovers shit bc a) roger was Not Allowed to be Gay and b) they weren’t ever supposed to have even met like completely different pay grades

BUT roger overheard him arguing with his dad over a better way to do a job that would be less dangerous and way harder to track but he got brushed off with a “the boss is always right you don’t argue john it’ll get you killed”

but rog was like.... shit no that’s WAY better

and ended up dropping a few lines to find out who this kid is cause... he’s smart and smart goes far right

like u gotta look Out for the smart ones, he knows that, his dad taught him that

(with backhands and cruel fists while teaching him chess, that one night in the barrel when he fucked up a simple plan when he was 13...)

(like rog is smart he’s just not Great at compartmentalization. so his plans start out great but go off the railed as he gets excited/pissed off) but like johns smart he picks up when he’s suddenly being tailed and is like Ok What Did I Do to one of them

and the guy panics and takes him straight to roger who is like..... how did u fuck up a simple tail, Jesus Christ

but yeah like he and john end up having a sort of clandestine friendship of sorts? in which roger essentially brings half baked plans to him and john Fixes them

which sorta turns into mutual pining

john is like this is my angry mob boss son best friend and roger’s like this is my evil genius best friend who kills people

but yeah basically roger’s dad keeps beating him when things go wrong, even if its not his fault

John is observant okay he was noticing the direct correlation between roger “getting jumped” and plans going wrong

So when it’s one of his??? That goes tits up (and tbh it wasn’t even like a bad screw up they just had a witness who was taken care of the next day) and roger like slinks into Johns apartment/office with the break down for John and his eyes is swollen completely close and he’s got a fat lip the size of a strawberry John immediately is ready for murder

And roger never admits it’s his dad???? who’s beating him???

because Taylors Should Be Better

Because why would he? It’s embarrassing but also it’s happened his whole life it’s expected of a mob bosses son (think the Baba Yaga scene in John wick 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻)

which then turns into john pounding him into the mattress and promising no one will Ever land a hand on him again when he turns up one time with a battered to hell face because something went Wrong on one of the plans (which. extra emotional effect bc it was one of johns)

and like a month later roger’s dad is mysteriously found shot dead

cuz John mentally is like okay. Plan Ides of March is a go. Moving it up three years he’s getting taken out tomorrow

And John KILLS ROGER’S DAD IN COLD FUCKING BLOOD

the only??? person??? roger would EVER take that from is his dad

like johns heard the stories about roger taking out men twice his size yeah? but roger never has any defensive wounds on his hand

John knows that roger can and will defend himself

He’s seen him in action

But he never raises a hand against his dad when he straight up could kill him with one hand tied behind his back

so john figures it out and a month later roger’s dad is dead 

and now they need a leader?? another boss

and they look to roger, but roger is like no

he knows himself well enough, he is not strong enough in terms of planning and plotting, he’s a good action man but not strategist

that’s john

so roger steps aside and is like john is going to run the show

obvi there’s a power void and there’s basically civil war but with roger’s ruthlessness and john’s genius they fucking take all the little fractions down and they take them down HARD

john sits on his throne with roger standing over his shoulder, knuckles bloodied and grin wicked

and everyone knows if you fuck with roger??? you fuck with john

and vice versa

once, roger got shot on a mission and it was like, the one time?? john loans him out for a plan that wasn’t his

and he’s fine it’s just a graze but John and him in their bathroom and Johns like hyper focused on cleaning the wound and he furious and harsh and is like you fucking dumbass did no one teach you to duck?? You fool you dumb piece of shit

and roger just gently cradles john’s face in his hands and lifts his head to look at him and kisses him so gently and he’s like it’s okay, i’m fine, i’m here

and john’s like you are never going on any raid or plan or anything that i have not PERSONALLY vetted 

the next day, the guy who’s plan it was is sniveling and apologizing on his knees in front of John and Roger; it was an accident, he says

and johns like “it’s okay. i understand, these things happen.”

and then just blank eyed shoots him in the femur

“these things just happen, you understand?”

roger just smiles from behind him, doesn’t even flinch in the aftermath

john and roger rule with an iron fist until one day things go tits up

and roger ends up taking the fall for john, and he gets sent to jail

john, in retaliation, goes on the warpath

Because he’s totally turned around the family business they’ve gone more corporate and it’s more like s legit business now?? They still kill people and rob and shit but they’re not monsters or criminals

And they give money back into the neighborhood and shit and donate to charity and kiss babies blah blah blah

But the authorities are like we need to show our strength against these villains so Rogers looking at like 25years to life

And John just kinda is like okay cool I can fix this

And it’s the biggest campaign ever he’s got the best lawyers on retainer he’s blackmailing people left and right he’s buying witnesses and finding loopholes like he’s fucking working the system and he’s gonna get roger out even if it kills him because in his eyes it was His Fault

Roger is like your honor clearly there’s been some sort of mistake

Because the only thing that places him there is a grainy cell phone video and a witness that’s not exactly clean

So like the case isn’t solid

But it’s enough for a trial like most of it is circumstantial

And John is like I would kill the whole world for you and Rogers like sounds excessive but same

the difference between roger and john is that john would kill the whole world for roger after sitting down and planning the whole thing for several weeks. roger would kill the whole world for john and not remember doing it after (though still probably not regret it)

Roger would act first think later

And John would be like oh I planned it all out two years ago in the shower

Just in case

so roger gets sent to jail and john just...looses it

like he has to get yanked off of miami when the verdict is read of two years sentencing because its not technically miami’s fault??? its just shitty

and meanwhile, roger is getting dragged off to jail and he’s like don’t worry, babe, it’s gonna be fine

(it both is and isn’t)

roger shows up in jail and within a week he’s running the joint, he’s got lackeys and he’s paid off the guards and its basically a vacation

meanwhile john is just burning his competition to the ground, he’s making people rue the day they ever crossed him

(they TOTALLY get conjugal visits that last longer than uhhhh usual)

bc you betcha ass they’d be So fucking possessive of one another. like roger rules that prison with an iron fist 

anyways, miami appeals on the basis of circumstantial, and he basically proves that legit ANYONE else could have done it and this is clearly railroading and obviously roger is innocent

and after 8 months, he walks

when he gets out???? john is there to pick him up

they drive off to a safe house outside of the city and they had wicked crazy dangerous hot sex and its just insanity

and when they come back??? 

its like people know to just flee when they see them

john, mob boss and kingpin, and roger his dangerous and beautiful second in command 

also freddie is roger’s bff, miami is their lawyer, and crystal is roger’s bodyguard who always gets into more trouble than roger but he once took a bullet for roger so he’s chill

ps anyone tries to kidnap roger??? gets dealt with a) by roger and if roger manages to let them get away then b) john. you’d rather be dealt with by roger, and not john

#roger taylor #john deacon #mob boss au #answered ask #caro writes

[babybluebex]

Play Pretend

a little finn thing bc i love that dumbass! it started as a smut thing but i got bored of that so it morphed into this bullshit. look out for wait for me pt. 2 tomorrow and a little ahk something soon?? love that funky little pharaoh... 

Part Two

It was simple: I did not like Finn, but he liked me. Maybe not like in the sense that he wanted to date me, but definitely in the sense that he wanted to get in my pants. Finn was like that with every woman that so much as showed ankle skin; he was as bad as a baron from the Victorian era. He always found a way to put his hand on my waist, which I didn’t quite mind, and maybe I actually liked the way his warm palm felt against my hip. Maybe I was just touch-starved. Maybe I actually did like him, but I refused to accept that. We had a mutual sarcastic relationship, wherein I called him Flipper to spite him, and he teased me for being Tobey’s baby sister. No matter the circumstances, when Tobey radioed us to pull off into the nearest town and get a place to crash on our way to Dino’s race in Nevada, there was a half of me that was thrilled and a half that was less than so. 

Finn’s car was the best, no doubt. The bastard had somehow managed to get cooling seats in there, and I loved every second of it, especially when he liked a song that came on the radio and turned up his sound system so far that I felt the bass in my stomach. I chose to ride with him instead of in the back of Tobey and Julia’s car for this reason, but I had my heels kicked up on the dashboard and was half-asleep by the time we slowly rolled into a hotel parking lot. 

“Right,” Finn began. He leaned over and maneuvered around my legs to reach his glove box, and he popped it open as he talked. “Tobey told me to keep a low profile. Fake I.D.s, the whole thing, ya know. Here’s yours…” He passed me a card that revealed that I was a Washington state resident by the name of Maria Folger, and then he placed a pair of golden rings on my open palm. “And this.” 

I scoffed. “No,” I said instantly. “No, no. What’s wrong with being not married?” 

“Rose, I don’t fucking know,” Finn sighed. “It’s just for the five minutes it takes for us to check in. Can you pretend that you like me for five minutes?” 

“It’ll be a challenge,” I mumbled as I pushed the rings onto my finger. I flexed my hand out in front of me to admire the jewelry, and I watched Finn slip a matching band onto his finger. I began to get out of the car, but Finn said, “Hold on a second.” 

“What?” I asked. He left me without an answer as he escaped the car, and he rounded to my door and offered me his hand. “A gentleman,” I rolled my eyes, and I turned and closed the door. “Look, if it comes down to it, you’re sleeping on the couch. Got it?” 

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Folger,” Finn chuckled. I gave him a sweet smile and opened my hand, and he slipped me his fake I.D. for a second. Noel Folger. Washington state. I gave him the card back and he pocketed it once more as he tugged a duffle bag out of the trunk, and he shouldered it. “Lead the way, my luscious wife.” 

“You’d better hope there’s no sharp objects in this room,” I mumbled as I began to walk, but he moved forward and took my hand. 

“I’ll do most of the talking,” Finn whispered in my ear. “Keep your mouth shut.” 

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” I whispered back. 

His grip on my hand tightened to where I almost begged for mercy. “Christ, Flipper--” I began, and Finn’s warm breath hit my ear again. 

“Just keep quiet,” he whispered. “Look, I’ve done this more times than you have. Just ‘cause you’re Tobey’s sister doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole. I know you hate me and I’m okay with that, but, please, for your brother’s sake, shut up and let me handle this. Dino has people everywhere.” 

I scoffed. “Yes, sir,” I snarked, and Finn tightened his lips before setting a hard smack on my ass. 

“Don’t be a bitch,” he told me. 

“Fine, fine,” I sighed. “And, if you touch my ass again, I swear to God, I’ll sick the dogs on you.” 

“You mean Tobey, the one whose been begging me to fuck you for months?” Finn asked. “He says you’re too uptight, Rosie. Why would your own brother say you’re uptight?” 

“Gee, I have no idea,” I huffed. I would never let Finn know it, lest it inflate his already large head, but something about the smack and the condescending way he was talking to me was really doing it for me. I took a deep breath and held his hand back, and I stopped us before we entered the hotel. “Give me a kiss, darling.” 

Finn chuckled. “Now?” He asked. “We’ll be up in the room in a minute.” 

“Just one kiss, Noel,” I said and pouted. “Or are you not man enough to kiss your wife?” 

“Oh, trust me, I am,” he whispered. “And I’m man enough to do a lot more to my wife.” 

“Well,” I said cheekily and stole a kiss to his jaw. “Prove it.” 

Finn rested his hand on my cheek and softly kissed my mouth, and I smiled. “Harder,” I whispered. “Dino’s crew, inside.” 

Finn let the bag slip from his shoulder and pulled me closer to deepen the kiss. “You owe me,” he whispered when he pulled away, and he gently nudged my chin with his finger. “Which one is Dino’s?” 

“Tattoos,” I said nonchalantly. “Black shirt. I remember him from the rally a few weeks ago.” 

I watched Finn’s eyes scan the lobby as we entered, and he wrapped an arm around my waist. “Remember what I said,” he whispered as he laid a kiss to my temple. 

I nodded silently, and Finn approached the front desk. “Hey,” He said politely. “We’d like a room, please.” 

“Of course,” the lady said. “One king bed?” 

“I think so,” Finn nodded. “Yeah, babe?” 

I smiled at him and nodded. Silence, just like he said. 

“How long have you two been married?” She asked as she handed us the room keys. 

“Just over two months,” Finn smiled. 

“Congratulations,” she said. “Enjoy your stay.” 

“Thanks,” Finn said, and he quickly steered me away from the desk. “He’s following us.” 

“Really?” I asked and Finn nodded. 

“Don’t look,” he told me. 

“I’m not stupid,” I huffed. “Do they know you’re part of Tobey’s crew?” 

“I’m not sure,” Finn replied. “I don’t recognize him, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m not good with faces.” 

The elevator opened and we stepped inside, quickly followed by the man from Dino’s crew. Finn gave him a short and courteous nod, and he hit the button for our floor. He quickly wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in close, and he softly kissed my forehead. “Can’t wait to sleep,” I mumbled. 

“I was thinking of doing something else,” Finn whispered and gently nipped at my ear. 

“Noel,” I said lightly. “That’s not—“

“So, you’re saying no?” Finn asked with raised eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m not,” I replied. “Just be careful about what you say, babe. You can be kind-of a dumbass.” 

“I know,” Finn said. “But that’s your favorite thing about me: my dumb ass.” 

I scoffed. “Sure,” I laughed. 

The elevator doors opened and Finn began to lead me out, but the man reached forward and took my wrist. “Ya think we don’t know that Tobey’s going to the race?” He asked. 

“Who?” I replied as panic bubbled up in my chest. I had to stay calm for Tobey. “What’re you talking about?” 

“We’re not clueless, Rose,” he told me. “We know Tobey’s gonna race. Tell him to back off of it. Dino’s gonna win.” 

“I think you have the wrong person,” I chuckled nervously. 

“Nah, I got the right one,” he told me. “I was told Tobey’s sister with the nice ass.” 

“Hey, back up,” Finn said sharply as anger visibly gathered in his eyes, and shoved Dino’s man away. “What’re you doing to my wife?” He shoved me behind him, and I watched the exchange.

“You’re part of Tobey’s crew too, huh?” The man asked. “I’ve seen you around him. The techie guy?” 

“Look, you’ve obviously got the wrong people,” Finn said quickly. “Leave us alone, please and thank you.” He took my hand and pulled me away and down the hall, and I squirmed under his tight grip. 

“Goddamn it,” I mumbled as he shoved me into the hotel room. “I can handle myself just fine!” 

“I promised Tobey that I’d keep you safe,” Finn said. “And getting checked by Dino’s crew is the opposite of safe!” 

“I’m not a child, Finn,” I spat. “I can take care of myself! You think Tobey would let me be in the world alone without knowing how to keep myself safe?” 

“Rose, Jesus Christ, try to understand this!” Finn said quickly. “I made a promise to Tobey! I never break a promise! I promised to keep you safe and I fully intend to uphold that, but now Dino knows we’re on our way. And he knows by now that wherever you go, Tobey is a few steps in front of you. The entire thing is fucked.” 

“Are you saying it’s my fault?” I asked. 

Finn sighed and ran his hands down his face. “No, Rose, it’s not,” he said. “Just… Fuck.” 

“Just what?” I asked. 

“Just nothing,” Finn snapped. “You’re too young to understand, anyway.” 

“Hey, fuck you!” I said. “I’m twenty, I’m not ‘too young’! What’re you, like, maybe twenty-one?” 

“I’m twenty-nine but thanks,” Finn said quickly. 

“Whatever!” I cried. “What’s your problem with me? Did I do something to you to warrant you watching over me and constantly checking on me? I am not a child, Finn.” 

“You know, I do have a problem with you,” Finn told me. “The fucking problem is that Tobey is my best friend and I swore to him before he went to jail that I’d keep tabs on you. Another promise that I haven’t ever broken.”

“Oh, so you’re trying to be honorable?” I laughed. “That went out the window so long ago!”

“Rose, I swear to God,” Finn mumbled and grabbed my wrist again, but this time he tugged me closer to him and pressed my hand to his crotch. There was a definite bulge there, and my breath caught in my throat. The room was silent as hell, and I vehemently avoided Finn’s eyes. He knew. 

I sighed. Finally, I took a breath to regain my confidence, and I said, “You want me to do something about it or are ya gonna keep standing there like an asshole?” 

“You’re a brat, ya know that, princess?” Finn asked. 

“I’m a baby sister,” I said. “I’ve had years of practice.” 

Finn huffed, and he said, “If you don’t take off your pants right this goddamn second.”

**

“How was the ride?” Tobey asked, and I hugged him tightly.

“Fine,” I said. “Next time we have to cross the country, please let me ride with you and Julia.”

“Why, was Flipper not fun to hang out with?” Tobey asked. 

“Not at all,” I grimaced. “He stole all the blankets.”

“Be glad I let you in the bed,” Finn said as he passed behind me and my brother to get to Tobey’s car. He reached in through the window and popped the hood, and he examined its insides for a minute. “Hey, Rosie, c’mere.”

“What’s up, Flipper?” I asked, and Finn smiled at me. 

“I need a small hand,” Finn told me. “My hand’s too big to fit to tighten this valve.”

“You know what they say about big hands,” I mumbled and pulled my hair back, and Finn snickered. 

“You would know,” he said.

“Whatever, dick,” I scoffed. “Where’s the valve?”

Finn moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me, and he positioned his hands gently on top of mine. “Just like this,” he said softly, and I let a small giggle slip out. It was so cliche, but I loved it. I saw Tobey look at the two of us with confusion, but he turned away before I could see more. Finn moved my hands into a small crevice between the engine and fixed a loose valve that was wet with condensation, and he gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. “Thanks, princess,” he told me. 

I smiled and edged out of his grip, and I saw Tobey and Julia watching us. “So, Flipper!” Tobey called, and Finn turned to him. “When’re you guys getting married?”

“What?” Finn asked.

“Something obviously happened last night,” Tobey said. “And I know that you wouldn’t fuck my sister without marrying her. I know Rosie wouldn’t do that.”

“Well,” Finn began. “I guess I know your sister better than you do.”

#rami malek #finn #need for speed #fanfic #fic #mine