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needsmorewlw · 2 years

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The Quarry/zombie apocalypse

My love for The Quarry was inevitably gonna combine with my endless obsession with the zombie apocalypse genre. Nothing hits harder for me than the raw horror of the world falling apart from the inside out and getting ravaged by monsters with the faces of your friends and family, so this is just an AU prompt I've been plaguing myself with now I'm forcing on everyone else.

Some mysterious virus is turning people into zombies. The government knows about it and were concealing reports of the zombies from the public so they could do their bullshit. The government of several states with major cities is doing classic evil government things and snatched up "significant/indispensible persons" days before everything fell apart.

They went to universities and essentially kidnapped smart people. Though they refer to it as "salvaging" like they're resources. Mostly medical and science students and if there's any room on the transport vehicles, they grab the athletes too, the most physically fit young people. Keeping them safe with a goal of salvation and restoring humanity one day.

So Dylan winds up swept into this crazy military base. None of them have a sense of humour and absolutely none of them care for his nervous charm and jokes.

They grab Laura too. Vet students count as medical. She's like a bull in a pen, she's not putting up with being literally kidnapped but there's not a whole lot she can do to resist.

Dylan and Laura being smart bros. It's all I want. They connect on an intellectual level as well as a deeply sarcastic one.

They play detectives and sus out this fucked up place where the people running it have all these plans to rebuild humanity, plans to go and scoop up more important people.

They go to settlements, bust down the gates, take anyone useful and leave the rest. They have job allocations and full-on like, breeding match-ups as well. There's no elderly or physically disabled people in the whole place.

Our duo is like; "This place is absolutely fucked, we gotta go." Luckily for them, the super safe secure military base inevitably falls to a hoard because it's run by myopic idiots. However not before their snooping got Dylan bitten by a zombie the military people were experimenting on.

He gets his hand cut off and when the place gets overrun, Dylan's still recovering from the realistic side effects from having your hand removed and losing a lot of blood. He's halfway to comatose in the medical ward when everything goes to shit and Laura can't do anything to get him out.

She tosses supplies and anything she can gather up and spare, into his ward and barricades the door, leaving a scrawled note that says "I'll come back - Laura" she figured all she had to do was wait for the hoard to move on so she could get back in and get him but there wasn't anywhere safe nearby to use as shelter.

So she fled a bit, then a little bit more, until she realised she needed help to get back in to get Dylan and any of the others who were taken that survived. And as the already massive hoard combined with the hundreds of people in the base, Laura knew she had to get the fuck away. Especially when the hoard started moving in her direction.

She tried to do a big ol' circle back so she could turn around back towards the base but miss the hoard and not just attract their attention and she runs into Ryan! Dylan's very angsty, angry boyfriend, traveling with a family of rednecks Chris, Travis, Bobby, Kaylee and Caleb (Constance and Jed absolutely beefed it and/or refused to leave their house).

Ryan doesn't start off angry but he gets angry when she tells him what happened. Ryan and Laura just have to argue all the time, it's important to me that they kind of hate each other. But it progresses from regular hate to hate in a sibling way.

So she tells him about Dylan but the time they makes it back to the base, he's gone. But so are the supplies so they have a slight hope that he's ok.

So Ryan's absolutely pissed because from his point of view, she put Dylan in danger, got him bitten, then left him behind and now he's either dead or out there alone. She's like "fuck you loser you don't know anything, also if we're talking about boyfriends have you seen mine?"

ENTER MAX. Who was on a quest for his beautiful gf and ran into Emma and Abi two girls who totally-arent-in-love. Just a couple of gal pals. Max accidentally male-wifes his way into helping them realise their feelings for each other.

They eventually link up with Jacob, Nick and Kaitlyn who were on a camping trip when everything got fucky and straight up didn't even know anything was wrong until they tried to come home, their phones reconnected to signal and they got a million texts and notifications all at once. But they had a big ol' van and a bunch of useful supplies.

None of them had any idea about the government scooping people up but Max was loveable enough for all of them to be roused into action by his cause.

They came from the opposite side the hoard was on, so they didn't even run into it. But it takes them a long while to find the base (like the entire time Dylan and Laura were there) and find it after it's been overrun.

They totally cannot get in. There's still way too many zombie people in there and no visible living ones. Max is distraught but is convinced he saw some "intelligent movement" inside the base.

Cut to Dylan who had a Rick Grimes moment, waking up weeks later, alone in an empty ward. He makes use of the supplies and the note but knows he absolutely cannot stay here, at least not in the med ward. He gathers useful medical stuff and skedaddles.

There's no one else alive, all of the terrible army people are dead but so are the people they took. He does some big-brain moves, a distraction here, some mildly successful stealth there. He attaches a fkn knife to his stump. All with his panicked narration/monologue to keep himself somewhat sane while he's by himself, surrounded by zombies.

Dylan's breaking out right as the crew is breaking in. Dylan gives Max the note to prove he knows his girl and the crew does a whole heist situation to get as many supplies out of the base as they can, into their van before they leave.

I haven't really thought about how they find eachother but one idea was that the crew finds a settlement that lets them in and they become a part of that community. I like the idea of a community inside a mall. All the shops are like little flats for familes or roomates and it's basically a mini city inside a mall.

Meanwhile Laura, Ryan and the Hacketts are typically unfriendly to anyone and everyone and are just this crew of badasses with just so many fucking weapons. They're a well-oiled strategic machine that nasty people think they can fuck with but are quickly proven wrong.

While they generally refuse to interact with any other survivors, (it's mostly Travis making these orders to keep them all safe because he doesn't trust anyone, for good reason.) Ryan and Laura do try to talk to (interrogate) anyone who might know where their bfs are. Eventually, probably Kaylee, gets severely wounded. Laura can help her a little but they're forced to find a settlement to save her. They find the mall, there's this whole moment at the gate where the guards are like "You guys look nasty idk about letting you in." But are eventually swayed by the dying girl.

Cue the double reunion at the gate. And then probably more post apocalyptic politics happen. Just imagine the stares air disbelief as the gates open and eyes meet. So romantic so heart felt bark bark I'm done now it's 2:42am

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thessalian · 6 months

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Thess vs MCM Comic Con, Day 3

So before I start with the rundown of today, I will say this:

It was worth it.

I may not entirely believe that now, when everything fucking hurts and the stress and frustration of that level of people and noise and exertion and pain is still pretty much flattening me? But I know it was. The memory of how worth it this was will stay fresh long, long after the pain of the actual doing of it is gone.

So. Anyway. Day 3. Starting from after I made sandwiches and prepped to get an exchange on my d20-less gold sparkly dice.

We managed to get there in good time for the Critical Role panel. Now, obviously not in good time to get a seat in the main stage area where they were actually doing the panel, but giving it some thought, we didn't really want to be there anyway. We'd already been up close and personal with the Critical Role crew; we didn't need more than that. Plus the noise would have been way, way too much. So instead, we went over to one of the stages that was streaming the panel on their big screen. Which was better because the camera crew zoomed in when a question was directed at a particular person so we actually got to see them. And the panel was really good. It was so endearing when an audience member asked how they managed the whole thing with being business partners and friends and they talked about how Matt insists that they all hang out just as friends outside of the game space and the business space, and how Travis is this really supportive protective Big Poppa Bear of a CEO, and how it's easier with a group of friends than it is with a two-person partnership or trio because you've got people who can step in and mediate when tempers run a bit high ... and most of all when Ashley said she literally didn't know what she'd do without them (and then had to hand off the mic because she was about to start crying) and Sam said how he really just wanted them to be doing this - being the friends and family they'd become - for the rest of their lives ... and to wear a T-shirt with Matt's face on it at Matt's funeral. I honestly have zero worries about Critical Role LLC and its potential effects on their friendship. Seems like they're doing just fine.

There were no problems with taking my dice back. Thankfully, I got the same guy who sold them to me in the first place, though given the ambient noise and low light levels in the area, it was a bit of a struggle to get him to understand the problem. When he finally understood, he did go the extra mile finding me a replacement set. I repaid that kindness by stopping him when he went to put the dice set I was returning back into the box of merchandise for display / sale. Didn't want him to go through that again, y'know?

(Side note: turns out that the little golden shinies in my Alisaie-themed dice set are, in fact, small golden capital As. That's serendipity on a ridiculous level, right there.)

After that ... I admit it all caught up to me and on top of the body aches, spasms, and migraine, I remembered just how difficult it is to wander a convention hall with someone whose interests in terms of art and entertainment kind of vary from yours. So I suggested to Marion that we split up for an hour and a half, and meet up somewhere to devour lunch and see where we were going from there. I browsed a bit, but mostly I just found a place to sit down and watch the cosplay go by. I mean, I did make an attempt to go outside, partly for a smoke but mostly for someplace where I could be more than two feet away from any human being ... but it had started to rain and so I still ended up crammed under the awnings with my fellows who also wanted fresh air and/or nicotine.

By the time I met up with Marion again, I was getting to that "I am struggling to form coherent sentences" level of migraine, holding it at bay with some co-codamol that I took with the first can of A&W root beer I've had in years, and it was just what I needed, thank you. So we scarfed down lunch. I was honestly ready to leave right then, but Marion wanted one last turn-around to look for a couple of things she hadn't spotted in her first trip. I couldn't really deny her that no matter how much I wanted to go home, so we agreed to meet up in about an hour at the "Reset Room" (they had a room especially designed for people who just needed to decompress; probably the most useful thing they actually did in terms of accommodations, I have to say).

In that time, I caved and bought a copy of Flavours of the Multiverse - a D&D themed cookbook. It wasn't my only purchase of the day, mind you. I also got three pin-badges - one "That's How I Roll" one, one "Shiny Math Rocks" one ... and one that just reads "They/She". That and a "They/Them" nonbinary flag-coloured lanyard. At least there, I could wear those things without being too afraid. Anyway, after my few purchases and another trip outside (where, thankfully, it had stopped raining), I read my new cookbook until Marion rejoined me and we headed home. Unfortunately, on top of all the stairs at London Bridge and Elephant and Castle stations, there were a surprising number of people cramming themselves on the 363 at 5pm on a Sunday. So my Time of Squishening unfortunately got a little bit extended. Still, I am now home and have had coffee and more painkillers and I feel a bit better.

That was probably my last MCM Comic Con. It's definitely the last one I go to for all three days. The accommodations were insufficient (though in all fairness, that's entirely down to the organisers - the stewards were so nice and tried so hard to make things work when it was clear that the original organisational scheme was a shit-show), and the attendees ... well, most of them were really nice but I cannot count how many people I had to nearly throw myself at a wall to avoid because they were walking through a crowded convention hall while looking at their phones. Or just anywhere but straight in front of themselves. And public transport ... well, some of that "step-free access" is only on a technicality, put it that way, and it's actually easier to just struggle with the stairs if you can. I think the worst part of this has been that it's basically opened a window on another part of how hard my life is going to be now.

But never mind. I'm going to decompress a bit. I am going to make breakfast-for-dinner in the form of French toast and bacon, I am going to sit Marion down through the rest of Arcane, and I am going to enjoy my last evening with my houseguest. And at some point I am going to look into the work of the Hire A Bard guy I saw at the convention, who will set your character and/or campaign to music for a fee. This might be worth considering as a Christmas gift (however delayed) for the Cupcake Coterie.

Anyway. Yeah. I hurt. I am very much not at my best. But it was worth it.

#mcm expo

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studentparxie · 1 year

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Waterparks Members (and Friends)

Here is a little rundown on the members of Waterparks and the friends that they hang out with a lot!

Awsten Constantine Knight

Birthday: January 17, 1992

Role: Lead singer and rhythm guitarist

Took his driver's license picture to look naked

Legally changed his name from "Austin" to "Awsten."

Awsten is one of the most interesting people I had to learn about. He created Waterparks as one of his passion projects. He has synesthesia, which means he sees sounds and hears colors. He also has heterochromia, which means his eyes are different colors. He made his own fashion line called High Definition Industries. Awsten is really chaotic most of the time, but he does have a sweetness to him.

Geoff Wigington

Birthday: July 2, 1989

Role: Lead guitarist

Legend of Zelda enthusiast

Has a child

Geoff is an absolute sweetheart. He is not the best with words, but he always brightens up everyone's day. He brings a comfortable presence with him. There was an ongoing joke that Geoff loves minions, but he absolutely despises them. I love Geoff and you should too.

Otto Danielle Wood

Birthday: December 20, 1990

Role: Drummer

Possibly a serial killer

Never used the Internet, he literally had to ask Awsten if it costs anything to make a Gmail.

Otto may look like Weird Al's ripped nephew, but he's not. He's allegedly the most unhinged member of Waterparks. He actually got inspired to play the drums because of the drummer in the animatronic band at Chuck E. Cheese. Other than that, not much is known about him since he does not use any form of social media. His biggest music inspiration is My Chemical Romance though!

______________________________________________________________

The following people are not actually a part of Waterparks but are closely related to them. They do interact with the band a lot, so if you are joining the FANDOM (like the album hahah), you should definitely become familiar with these people.

Jawn Rocha

Birthday: September 18, 1992

Role: Photographer, mainly just for Waterparks but he takes photos for other bands too!

Jawn has been a friend of Awsten's for a long time, he even was a part of the same band as him before Waterparks. Jawn eventually found his place in photography and he streams on Twitch occasionally.

Travis M. Riddle

Birthday: December 24, 1992(?)

Occupation: Author

Travis has known Awsten before the band was a thing. He has helped Waterparks with various things: correcting their lyrics on Genius.com, giving his opinion on their music before released, starring in some of their music videos, and overall just being a good friend. Travis has also written a couple of books, such as Mother Pig and Balam, Spring.

Zephani Jong (Zeph)

Birthday: April 18, 1999

Occupation: Singer

Zeph is one of the band's most recent friends, she made a vocal appearance on the song "Crying Over It All." She makes and produces some of her own music, most of which just being little songs she uploads on YouTube. Awsten actually recorded guitar for her song "scared of everything." Zeph has built a pretty large digital footprint, mostly just tweeting her thoughts out on Twitter. She is focused on growing and becoming the artist she wants to be.

De'Wayne Jackson

Birthday: June 27, 1995

Occupation: Rapper

De'Wayne has been buddies with Waterparks for quite some time now. He's toured with them a couple of times and even provided some vocals for the song "LIKE IT." Though, Awsten did a feature on his song "Perfume." De'Wayne has mixed the genres of rock and rap to create his own unique sound. His mission was to show no one should live in boxes and neither should their music.

#waterparks #otto wood #geoff wigington #awsten knight #zephani jong

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atlasonfire · 2 years

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Okay, here's some more The Quarry head canons while i wait for my computer to update (i love writing these):

After Ryan's third year coming back to be a counsellor after the re-opening of Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp, Caleb decides to make him co-owner alongside Max instead of just a counsellor. Caleb quits, and decides to become a cop like his Uncle Travis. Travis deserves a load off his shoulders once in a while.

Its complicated, and Ryan remembers a Bizarre Yet Bonafide episode on people who take ownership of generational family land without being apart of the bloodline being cursed and has some superstitions about becoming co-owner — but Caleb tells him Chris would've wanted it, and that gets Ryan to ease up.

Ryan still tells ghost stories to the kids.

He moves to Night Kill, much like Laura and Max.

He manages to convince Kaitlyn to visit, but she never stays longer than three days and never on a week with a full moon.

Max is the least organised camp owner ever. Never wears the uniform (most because he doesn't want to look stupid.), doesn't know the schedules, etc. Laura is pretty sure he wasn't ready for the responsibility but took it anyway. She helps him on most nights to get things in order.

Ryan wears the uniform that Chris used to wear (not the...exact one. Chris had a lot of spares being a werewolf and all) for the first week of summer before deciding it was uncomfortable and goes back to his regular clothes. Being a camp mentor wasn't about the looks, after all.

He manages to convince Dylan to come down, after an entire spring of begging for some company besides Laura and Max. "Listen, I love em'. I bled with Laura, man, i let her bite me, but come on. I'm going crazy."

Laura is the camp nurse, but otherwise spends time hunting with Bobby. This time, regular hunting.

Speaking of Bobby, Ryan is iffy around him — considering he was literally stabbed by him, but they get over their differences and Ryan realises that Bobby was only doing as he saw/was told.

When Dylan finally does come down to Hackett's Quarry, things are awkward. He and Ryan never really talked face-to-face after their trial in court, especially not about what they were.

Despite this, when they first see each other, they hug for a solid three minutes. Ryan is almost afraid if he lets go, Dylan wont really be there, and Dylan is afraid that if he lets go that Ryan will see how much has changed and will regret asking him to come.

"I was listening to that stupid podcast during the ride here."

"And?"

"How are you still sane? I wanted to climb through my phone and strangle everyone involved in making something so stupid. Several times."

"They cleared our names, Dylan."

"Yeah, yeah. We all know who sent them that stupid package."

Flirting ensues.

Emma sees an ad for Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp in the paper and tells all of her subscribers about Ryan being the new face of the camp, and shares some stories about him. She also sees Max, is confused for a moment, then remembers him as Laura's boyfriend.

"You guys see this stupid face? This is that bitch i tased. I mean... it was a very different looking face, but it was this face behind all of the whole ugly...furless werewolf thing."

She doesnt know if her subscribers actually believe the whole werewolf thing, but regardless, she tells everything as she remembers.

Jacob starts a tiktok about his experience as a summer camp counsellor, but also for his love of peanut butter butter pops. In his bio it says,

He/him yes I'm that guy that brought back the best snack under the sun.

He almost goes back to Hacketts quarry, just for a tiktok video, but changes his mind mostly because he doesn't want to run around the forest naked again by accident somehow.

Abigail sees the same ad in the paper and texts Emma about considering going back.

Emma gives her a psychological evaluation - which is literally just a BuzzFeed quiz of "would YOU get murdered in a horror movie?"

Abigail got traumatised but lived, and takes that as a sign to go back. She really enjoyed her time at the camp as a counsellor, besides the whole...almost dying to her almost summer boyfriend.

Ryan is pleased to see her, and Dylan is happy to see her too. One more person to hear his jokes.

Dylan gives the announcements every morning like usual, but every night he makes an announcement now too, "stay in your cabins during the night, kids, or a bear will get you and eat off your hand like they did to mine!"

He gets more and more creative every night. Every one of the nightly announcements are about bears, maybe sometimes he makes a remark about a boar to tease Abigail.

One of the kids, during bonfire night, asks Ryan about the supposed werewolves.

Ryan brings a flashlight up to his face, illuminating him in the dark and starts telling some stereotypical horror story about werewolves he saw on the internet a while back, but changes the location to Hacketts Quarry.

"And thats why you never wanna talk about them. Cause they'll hear you. And they'll.. eat. You. Right. Up."

Dylan walks into the circle coincidentally just as he says that and is met with screams.

He screams back.

Max scolds Ryan for telling scary stories to the kids, and Ryan remembers that Chris had said something similar and withdraws a little with the scary stories.

Nick makes a short film about turning into a werewolf (totally not based on reality.)

Emma finds it funny, and reacts/reviews it on her youtube channel.

Abigail, always supportive and sweet, helps with some of the concept art for the (animated) werewolves. Nick wonders if any of the designs are reminiscent of what he looked like as one, but picks blindly.

Laura finds what she was looking for in coming back to Hacketts Quarry and Night Kill, eventually. Peace with what happened.

The nightmares might stay, the memories wont go away, but she manages to sleep a little easier after one long night talking to Travis about that fateful day.

Laura makes a headstone for Silas near the quarry. That weight on her shoulders is a little lighter.

Dylan and Ryan sit together on the last day of the summer, after all the new counsellors plus Abigail have left once more, and talk.

Dylan removes his prosthetic, allows himself to be vulnerable near Ryan, and asks about Kaitlyn. The jokes are gone and the awkwardness and flirting are too. They'd been avoiding this all summer.

Ryan tells him that he hadnt been ready for a relationship with neither of them when he was 18 and going to college. Now almost 25, and having spent another whole summer with Dylan, its different.

(Before this conversation Ryan talked to Abigail, got some advice, also talked to Kaitlyn and got some firmer advice and some scolding for being stupid and avoiding talking like adults do)

Dylan and Ryan figure out whats different, and its how they feel about each other. They establish they like each other, romantically, and Dylan talks about how disappointed he was when they reconnected after that last night long ago and Ryan acted like they hadnt gotten closer - like they hadnt kissed, protect and bled for each other, etc.

Ryan feels like an asshole.

Ryan isnt an asshole, so he apologises and offers an explanation.

Its not the best explanation, and not what Dylan wanted to hear, but its the truth and Dylan is happy with it.

Everyone, after that summer in Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp, had been traumatised and came out different than when they went in. Changed. Ryan had needed time, and Dylan was patient enough.

Max steps out just as they kiss, holding four mugs of hot cocoa he'd made in celebration, swiftly does a three sixty and heads back to Laura in the kitchen grabbing some snacks (they'd planned to watch that stupid short film before Dylan had to go, and share some stories or whatever)

"You owe me fifty bucks." He tells Laura.

Re-upload as a separate post instead of a reblog. Might add more later :)

#hacketts quarry #supermassive games #the quarry #did this instead of work #headcannons

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arwainian · 4 months

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Reading This Week 2024 #1

And so a new year begins and i come to you with a weekly reading log a few days late! This is for a few reasons, the first of which is I did not actually do a lot of reading. I did some! but not much. In my daydreams about this stretch of time between visiting home for the holidays and starting up the grad school semester again I thought I would be reading nearly every minute I had. Instead, I spent the first week getting my life in order for the coming year (as millennials and my mother would say: Adulting). What spare time I had was not spent reading, it was spent working on a crochet project. The final reason this reading log comes to you late is that I haven't quite decided how I want to format my reading log this year. It will mostly be the same as last year, but maybe with a few changes to how i color code things. If you have suggestions for formatting feel free to let me know

Finished:

false rings by evilmageclub on ao3

the final chapter of this atmospheric melancholy Samot/Samothes getting-back-together fic was published while I was finishing up the marathon. Everything I hoped for for the conclusion. Also reading this fic made me realize that I imagine this it, Seasons of Hieron in general, and Aubade specifically in the style of Studio Ghibli

Started and Finished:

little cruelties by misspickman on ao3

while somehow i mis-titled this in my journal entry as "literal cruelties" (???), i have been meaning to read this fic for a bit because it's subject matter is of deep interest to me. you love to read a fic about repressed trauma and embarrassing panic attacks while waiting for two hours at the dmv (i was waiting at the dmv, the fictional panic attacks were happening in different situations)

Ongoing:

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree

read another chapter of this while spending time with my girlfriend after holidays apart. like i might have said before, don't expect me to finish this anytime soon. it's not a read that inspires urgency, but it is good for reading aloud while cuddling

~~~

While there wasn't a lot of reading for the first week of the year, that won't be the case for the future. I have put in the order for my books for this upcoming semester and already begun to chip away at reading assignments so there is lots and lots of reading to look forward to (and hopefully even some that I choose for myself!)

#cal reading log #arwainian princessoid decrees

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thattimdrakeguy · 2 years

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I Think They’re Wasting Timber.

Ech. I don’t want to be more negative, ‘cause like, I don’t normally have that kind of energy in me anymore most of the time, despite making several negative posts the past couple days. But I am genuinely disappointed in the latest Tim special. I haven’t read it, but I seen enough already to know that it was just a pandering mess. Like you don’t really have to read the whole thing sometimes when you’re main worry can be seen within like two or three pages so much so that it’s actually depressing.

Fictional or not I thought Timber was going to be more than what it’s shown to be. I really only think Travis Moore put any meaning into the Timber relationship to give it any depth. That and of course the fans.

Like I want them to just stop pretending that Tim and Steph’s relationship was more than it was. Like they didn’t get along. They been doing it again and again for ages now. It’s not like it’s good for Steph either to be reduced to Tim’s love interest that’s ‘quirky’. They are two separate characters. It comes off as ridiculous after a while. They didn’t have a healthy relationship, just writers that would pretend like it. Let them fucking move on already. Not everything needs a cutesy, softie, happy ending, at least not when it feels so ignorant to their own past. Like regardless if people think it was Tim or Steph that was worse, it seems like most people that read more than just what the fandom usually knows (’Cause, comics be hard to find, and some people don’t wanna pirate) can agree that they weren’t a good couple.

4 stories and only one of them actually focuses on them as a couple, and it wasn’t written by the usual writer. That gives me a bad feeling.

And something about the way they wrote Bernard just made him feel so trivial. Like they don’t try to draw him to look like himself at all, like you’d never guess that’s him unless you saw how the same artist drew him before, he has no importance, they definitely aren’t writing him to have a personality, he’s just a generic civilian. And the way it’s written...it seriously doesn’t feel like Tim gives his relationship with Steph any actual weight compared to how the writer wrote Tim and Steph. Something about that was genuinely heartbreaking to me. A few lines and it made it feel like Bernard was just a test he was using to see what his sexuality was. In a fucking pride special no less. It sort of made the whole fucking thing feel pretty little.

And Steph’s mostly just portrayed as “quirky”. Like I’ve talked a lot about why I don’t like Tim and Steph’s relationship, and how I don’t like Dixon’s weird shoving her in treatment. But I do like her character. She has angles, and edges that make her stand out. They’re just never used, that’s why I sound so upset whenever I talk about her, she’s been wasted for over 20 years. Even when she got a solo they didn’t bother using much of her character to do anything interesting. They make her so typical it gets on my nerves. Her issue in Y.J. was the best content of her in years because it actually showed more sides to her, and made her feel like what made her compelling to begin with. And she doesn’t need to be mad at the time. But this constant portrayal of her, feels condescending. It is not her. Literally just let them move on, and let her do stuff that doesn’t feel like they never paid attention to her before.

Like who wants a story that feels like it was written by someone who only heard about the characters?

I know people will like it ‘cause it’s fluffy and queer content. Which I get, completely. The fans, they care. Care so much they’ll take anything, which isn’t a bad thing. People will simply like what they like, and don’t like what they don’t like.

But I don’t think this upcoming story is very well-crafted or well-done content. It’s so simplified and dumbed down, that it’s condescending too. It felt like a lot of it was spent trying to validate the writer’s ship over making anything resembling a compelling story. It was honestly like a lazy fan fic. Which really sucked, ‘cause I thought Sum of Our Parts, despite a part of it being so unnecessarily edgy out of no where, was actually a well-done story despite how short it had to run due to the formatting of Urban Legends. And fan fics have proven you don’t need a lot to have a lot of space to have a lot of character and depth.

Travis Moore’s story was super well-done too, so maybe I got my hopes up too much. I have no interest in one dimensional fluff, that doesn’t give a damn about it’s characters, past cutesy stuff that didn’t land the mark characterization wise. When his story when it was cutesy, worked, because it felt right. It had character in it that felt right.

I’m still into Timber, but I was really hoping it’d actually BE something. There’s fan fictions that only last a single chapter with more character work that represents Tim and Bernard WAY better, and it’s literally amateur writers doing it for fun, they’re not even allowed to get paid for it.

Like I’m so annoyed with how little Bernard matters. It honestly might as well have not been Bernard at this point. It’s not even really him. It’s a puppet with his name. And that’s making me so upset. I’m genuinely not mad really. I’m a bit frustrated, but honestly I’m just sad. Not like, crying sad, but I feel so lowly after seeing the spoilers. Tim mostly managed to avoid the lifeless fan service sort of stuff, but now that he’s stuck in it now, it has me bummed beyond belief.

There’s been FOUR stories with Bernard as Tim’s boyfriend now. Only one got his character right, and he had like 3 lines in that story. That’s so stupid. I’m beside myself right now FOUR STORIES, and he’s mostly a NOTHING CHARACTER. The most depth their relationship had WAS IN THE TRAVIS MOORE STORY. It’s like he’s the only one of the two writers that actually gave a shit beside both feeling like Tim was queer, which is cool, he’s definitely had that energy. But I’m not even convinced it was for the reason’s everyone else saw. I think it was just done ‘cause of shipping and not actually seeing many of the signs.

Like you feel like it’s Bernard in his lines. It captures the tone, his expressions capture his personality. And he’s drawn to look like himself and not a stereotype. You can feel a genuine love between two characters, that make it work. Not the coldest of it feeling like it’s a background thing that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Of only dating him to figure yourself out--which I don’t think is the total thing they wanted to come across as in the latest story. But when Tim’s ex is presented with more importance despite their history, and Bernard for two stories in a row by the same writer is tucked into the background doing nothing but--well, not even being drawn to resemble himself. It’s hard not to feel like it.

And I’m still happy Tim is queer. But it’s honestly the fans giving it any meaning beside Travis Moore so far. It feels pretty meaningless in the comics themselves, and it’s making me sad now. Like the person who’s going to be Tim’s main writer going forward so far as gave no actual shits about the queer relationship beyond it starting. It’s just a thing Tim’s involved with. It feels weightless under her writing.

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munstysmind · 2 years

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We all know EVERYONE hates Travis but was always like that from the start or was there a specific time or incident that made people in Maddie’s life hate him?

Mostly it’s that people just got a weird feeling about him. Like something was off. Nobody really liked him from the very start. He just isn’t a very likeable guy, even before he did what he did.

Jared was the first to notice when he was out at dinner with Jensen and Maddie meeting Travis for the first time. He caught Travis basically undressing a woman with his eyes when Maddie went to the toilet. He of course told Jensen. He did wait until after dinner because he knew Jensen would lose his shit with Travis there and then.

After that they both started noticing little things. Maddie would try to be affectionate to Travis and he would brush her off. She would try to tell her something she was excited about and he would shut her right down.

Sebastian noticed things from the very start. Travis would be secretive about things people normally aren’t. Guarded his phone like it was life and death. He would constantly cancel dates with Maddie at last minute, always telling her he had to work late.

Sebastian remembers one night in particular when Maddie called him in tears because she had spent all day cooking an amazing roast for Travis for his birthday and he decided he’d rather go out and get drunk with his friends instead of spend the night with his girlfriend.

She has to literally beg him to do meeting the parents. It took everything in her dad not to walk out of dinner but her mother loved him 😒 She actually met his parents on her own because of course he had to “work” late at last minute again.

And then there’s this…

Letting out a small pained whimper, Maddie presses her head deeper into pillow behind her as she shifts her body on the uncomfortable hospital bed. She’s never been in so much pain. It feels like her whole left side and upper back is ice cold and on fire at the same time. It’s unbearable. She lets out another whine, her hands fisting the blanket over her as she shifts her body again trying to get some relief.

“Jens” she says in a panic as her stomach goes ice cold. She quickly sits up, the sudden movement causing a sharp stabbing pain to shoot through her side, making her cry out.

“Mads, what’s wrong?” he asks, getting up from the chair next to her bed and gently brushing her hair out of her face.

“Sick” she mumbles, putting her hand over her mouth as she starts to gag. He quickly gets one of the sick bags from the tray table at the end of her bed, the admitting nurses years of experience proving correct as she starts throwing up from the intense pain.

All he can do is rub her back and keep her hair out of the way while she empties her stomach, gasping for breath between heaves. He’s never seen her like this and he hates every moment of it.

“Make it stop” she begs as she flops back against the bed before groaning and rolling onto her side, curling up in a ball.

“I wish I could kiddo, I’m sorry” he tells her, running hand over her forehead into her hair and giving her scalp a gentle massage with his fingertips. A whine leaves the back of her throat as she leans into his touch and his heart just about breaks. She has an extremely high pain tolerance, higher than him, so for her to be in this much visible pain means she’s in agony.

As carefully as he can, so he doesn’t cause her any more pain, he climbs onto the bed. Almost immediately she curls up on his lap, making herself as small as she can when he wraps his arms around her in a protective hug wishing he could take her pain away.

“You smell good” she mumbles as she presses her face into the side of his neck, trying to hide from everything. He lets out a quiet chuckle before starting to run his hand up and down her back, pressing a kiss on the top of her head when she lets out another whimper.

“Travis” she whispers, asking about the one person she wants right now more than Jensen.

“He’s coming Mads” he says, secretly hoping her boyfriend doesn’t show his face. He tries to hide it from her, but Maddie knows Jensen isn’t the biggest fan of Travis. It hurts a little but she tries not to think about it too much.

“You keep saying that” she whines as she tries to snuggle into him even more than she is already. It’s like the closer she gets to him, the better her pain is.

“I know Mads… I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s taking him so long” he tells her, making a mental note to lay down the law wth her pathetic excuse for a boyfriend when he finally decides to show his face. The man is on his last chance with Jensen.

The other day on set he had to diffuse a fight between Maddie and Travis. Well, to say it was a fight isn’t accurate, it was more Travis yelling in her face while she stood there frozen in fear until Jensen got to her. She’d hidden behind him after that, using his body as a shield to block her from her enraged boyfriend.

The sound of curtains opening pulls Jensen out of his thoughts and he looks up to see a nurse looking over Maddie’s chart with a concerned look on her face, this isn’t good.

“How are you feeling?” the nurse asks Maddie after returning her chart to the holder hanging on the end of the bed.

“No” Maddie groans, staying firmly attached to Jensen who runs his hand over the back of her head and spreads his fingers through her hair an his hand reaches the ends.

“Are there any updates?” he asks the nurse, very aware of how exhausted the woman looks.

“Right now our priority is making her comfortable, we’ll know more about what’s going on once we get her in for scans” the nurse tells Jensen, giving him a sympathetic smile as he gives Maddie a gentle squeeze, more to reassure himself than her.

“Look, I know you’re really busy and I’m not trying to be difficult but she’s in so much pain, is there anything else you can do?” he asks. They’ve been there for hours and so far all they’ve done is drawn blood, given her fluids and pain relief that’s very clearly not doing anything.

“Let me check with the doctor, see if all bases have been covered” the nurse tells him before leaving, closing the privacy curtain behind her.

Jensen lets out a huff, extremely frustrated at how long everything is taking, when he hears Maddie sob. Looking down he sees the tell-tale signs that she’s about to cry. He doesn’t blame her.

“Oh Kiddo” he sighs sadly as tears start running down her cheeks. She buries her face in the side of his neck again as she hugs him as tightly as she can.

“I know Mads… I know” he says quietly, running one hand over the back of her head and rubbing her back with the other as he gently rocks her.

He presses a few kisses on her temple as the privacy curtain is pulled back by the same nurse as before. Jensen notices that she’s holding a syringe filled with clear liquid.

“Oh sweetheart” she says, seeing Maddie sobbing on Jensen’s arms. She gives Maddie a soft smile when she peaks at her before nuzzling back into Jensen.

“So I talked to the doctor and she’s okayed a dose of Morphine” she tells Jensen, holding up the syringe. He’s relieved to see its one of the ones that attaches to a IV and not an injection because even with how horrible Maddie is feeling. It would still be a struggle trying to give her an injection, even if it is going to take away her pain.

“Mads, is that OK?” Jensen asks her, giving her a gentle squeeze. She just hums at him, shifting slightly in his lap. He gives the nurse a nod and watches as she screws the syringe into the IV in Maddie’s hand.

“So this is going to start working right away but it’ll take about five minutes to fully kick in” the nurse says as she slowly pushes the plunger, injecting the opioid pain relief.

“Drowsiness and an upset stomach are quite common with Morphine but if she experiences any difficulty breathing, dizziness or heart palpitations let us know straight away. I also checked, she’s next in line for scans so unless an emergency comes in, it will be within the hour” she tells Jensen, who lets out a quiet sigh of relief that something’s finally happening.

“Thank you” he says to the nurse, who gives him a soft smile and nod before quickly leaving when her pager goes off.

“How you feeling?” he asks Maddie, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Mmmm… gave me the good stuff” she says, sounding like the Morphine is already starting to make her drowsy.

It’s another half hour before Travis finally arrives. He doesn’t even acknowledge them as he sits on the chair next to the bed. Jensen doesn’t bother trying to move, Maddie is comfortable. He’ll only move if she wants him to and it doesn’t seem like shes going to want that to happen any time soon.

“What happened?” Travis asks after a few minutes, causing Maddie to open her eyes and look at him as a smile spreads across her face, shifting in Jensen’s lap so she can see her boyfriend better.

“She’s been in pain all day. The medic checked her, sent her here” Jensen tell him, noticing the huff he lets out at the information.

“I told you to stop doing those stunts, it’s too dangerous. God, you never fucking listen” Travis says to Maddie, scolding her for doing something she’s more than capable of.

“Don’t speak to her like that” Jensen warns, glaring at him. If Maddie wasn’t in his lap right now, he’d me in his face.

“They’re dangerous Jensen, you know they are” Travis tells him. The man has zero stunt experience but he apparently knows that the stunts Maddie does are dangerous.

“Not stunts” she mumbles, her body leaning into Jensen more, seeking out more his comfort now that Travis has told her off.

“What?” Travis snaps, angry that she’s talked back to him

“She wasn’t doing any stunts. She hasn’t done any in a few weeks” Jensen tells him, his arms tightening around Maddie, his protectiveness of her starting to go into overdrive.

“Then why is she injured?” Travis demands, clearly still thinking it’s somehow Maddie’s fault shes in this position in the first place.

“We don’t know if she’s injured, we don’t know what’s going on yet. We’re waiting on scans” Jensen tells him. He’s seriously considering having security remove him. The way he’s acting isn’t going to do her any good. Jensen’s attention shifts back to Maddie when she lets out an annoyed groan and turns in his lap so her back is facing Travis.

“You OK Kiddo?” Jensen asks her, rubbing her back as she gets comfortable in his lap again. She just nods as she makes sure she hasn’t tangled her IV.

“Why do you keep calling her that, she’s clearly not a kid” Travis asks. He’s always hated the cutesy names everyone seems to have for Maddie.

“I like it” she mumbles before Jensen has a chance to respond. She’s starting to get just as annoyed with her boyfriend’s attitude as Jensen is.

“Whatever” Travis scoffs before pulling out his phone and focusing his attention on it instead of Maddie. Jensen can’t help but roll his eyes before resting his head gently against Maddie’s. They sit in silence until the curtain gets pulled back to reveal the nurse from before and a med tech.

“Time for scans” the nurse says, walking to the side of the bed and unhooking her fluid bag from the pole it’s on.

Jensen carefully stands up with Maddie in his arms before putting her back on the bed and covering her with the blanket.

“I’ll see you in a bit” her tells her, running his hand over her hair before kissing her temple, not missing the small scoff from Travis at his display of affection towards Maddie. The med tech unlocks the wheels on the bed and wheels her towards the elevator doors.

“It’ll take about an hour, then she’ll be brought back while they review the scans” the nurse tells Jensen

“Thank you” he says, giving the nurse as quick smile before she leaves.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jensen snaps as soon as the nurse is out of earshot, the urge to punch Travis growing by the second

“Excuse me?!” Travis snaps back, already annoyed at having to be here when Maddie already had someone with her.

“I called you almost three hours ago. While you’ve been off doing god knows what, she’s been asking for you. She’s scared and in pain and you couldn’t be bothered to show up” Jensen tells him, his patience well and truly gone. He’s already stressed enough worrying about Maddie, he doesn’t need to deal with a Travis’ shit too.

“I had plans” Travis says with a shrug, an annoyed look spreading across his face at being told off. If only Jensen knew his plans were hooking up with another woman in a hotel room, on Maddie’s dime.

“That you should have canceled. Between this and the other day on set, you’re on very thin ice. The only reason I’m not putting you on your ass right now is because Maddie loves you but I swear to god if you don’t get your priorities right, I’m gonna be the least of your worries” Jensen growls, wondering if he can knock Travis in his ass and get away with it.

“You know what… I don’t have to put up with this. Let me know when she’s back from scans” Travis says, throwing his arms up.

“You will never be good enough for her” Jensen says. He needed to say it, he’s done with standing by and watching him treat Maddie like shit, she doesn’t deserve it.

“Go to hell” Travis growls before storming away and leaving Jensen standing in the empty emergency room bay. He lets out a groan of frustration as he flops into the chair, angry at himself for not being able to hold his tongue with Travis for Maddie’s sake. He leans forward, his head in his hands, and prays that Maddie will be OK.

@aussieez, @littleone65, @jholdencook, @rookiemartin, @babeyyemor, @secretaryunpaid, @pixie88

#munstysmind #maddison original series #munstys birthday 2022

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smokeybrandreviews · 3 months

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Culture Vulture

I had no intention of weighing in on this Travis Kelce/Taylor Swift sh*t because it’s outside my wheelhouse. I don’t care all that much about NFL football anymore and I wouldn’t call myself a Taylor Swift fan. Plus, the zealotry on both sides is kind of a turn-off. I’m old enough to remember the crowds Michael Jackson brought in during his Eighties/Nineties prime. Swift, as large and dedicated as her fan base is, could never. I wouldn’t consider myself a fan of her music, I find it kind of juvenile and mostly harmless, but witnessing so many MAGA Cultists lose their sh*t over it is uncomfortably hilarious. Like, bro, really? Taylor Swift is a psy-op? Because she’s a massive celebrity who uses her voice in ways that she’s passionate about? Word? Sure, whatever. It’s all just white noise to me, which is why I was giving it no attention. That is until I hear someone in my real, actual, life, refer to a fade as the “Travis Kelce.” Excuse me? I had to double check what this dude looked like. Did he have some crazy, Dennis Rodman, type sh*t on his head? Was he going full country with a mullet-hawk? Nope. Mans still just had a high-and-tight. That’s basically just the white people version of a hi-top fade. I literally turned to this man who said that ridiculous sh*t, looked him in the eye, and asked, point blank, “The f*ck is you saying to me right now?”

For those of you who are new around here, I am Black as f*ck. Specially, the giant, scary, black man type of Black as f*ck. In my lifetime, I have had three main hairstyles; Buzzcut, Afro, and Fade. These three cuts are integral to my culture, specifically the fade. Now, I take mine a little lower than most. I prefer to start the fade just above my ears, with a low two or three up top. That allows my waves, when I have them, to pop. And that brings me to another point; The fade is basically the foundation for just SO many of our culture’s hairstyles, it’s absurd. Waves, the Caesar, making Twisties look respectable, and cleaning up Dreads. It even makes that weird, nappy headed trend I’ve seen, that thing kids do with the sponge or whatever, look professional. Hell, I occasionally use the Fade to clean up my Fro from time to time. Yes, there is a thing called an Afro Fade and it is glorious. It’s more a Taper, but even that is a type of Fade. Obviously, the fade isn’t an Black invention, the military has been using the High-and-Tight for decades, but we, as a culture, have adopted it as our own. That sh*t is as intrinsically Black as Hip Hop or Soul food. And like all things Black, it’s appropriated by the Whites and I hate it. The “Travis Kelce”? Really? Right in front of my Black History Month?

The most ridiculous thing about this whole scenario is the fact he adopted the fade while dating a Black woman. That’s right, Travis Kelce, started rocking the “Travis Kelce”, after his Black woman told him he’d look good in a fade. Kayla Nicole gave that man all of his swag and he took everything she offered until he didn’t anymore. She has come out recently to say some not-so-nice things about mans but the fact remains, this wave of popularity, everything that gave Kelce the aesthetic which captured Taylor’s attention (and the nation, apparently), was given to him by a Black woman. Story as old as time. Black women are commodities used to build your brand. White woman are the trophy you claim once you reach a level of success. “He gon leave your ass for a White girl.” Usually, that’s a Black man stereotype but I guess it’s any men at this point. I can get into that all day on its own, and I might (it is Black History Month), but this rant is more about how White culture steals so much from MY culture, and never gives anything back. I mentioned Hip Hop, but it’s everything. Our slang, our swag, our music, our whole vibe; Snatched, sanitized, and gentrified, for bland ass White tastes. A few years back, someone tried to claim Bo Derek rocking box braids was this fashion forward, shattering of industry norms, and that sh*t was, straight up, a way for slaves to smuggle food into the fields. Box raids are called corn rows because they look like rows of corn AND because they could hide crop seeds to later plant for their own purposes. That’s how sh*t like rice and certain grains made it to the Caribbean. Enslaved Black people did that, but let’s credit the White super model from Long Beach with making them popular. Even though Cornrows have been a staple of Black culture since actual slavery times and, arguably, before. That sh*t is gross and we’re seeing it again with this “Travis Kelce” bullsh*t.

Black women are built thick. They have curves. They have breasts. They are genetically voluptuous. I imagine that has something to do with our origins in Africa but I’m not trying to get into an anthropological thesis right now. I know lack girls who were teased for having a dump truck. They were ridiculed by cats for having a fat ass. Along comes Kim Kardashian. Who, admittedly, had a relatively shapely bottom being of Persian descent, got those ass implants. Now, all of a sudden, everyone wants ass implants. All the little middle class White girls want their Daddies (be them sugar or otherwise) to buy them a BBL. Something Black women were ridiculed for, has been snatched, sanitized, and gentrified so White women can basically just cosplay as us. More than one Kardashian has done this sh*t. Iggy Azalea exists. Black women can’t even have their god given physicality, without White people figuring out a way to take that sh*t! The problem isn’t just Travis Kelce and his absurd attribution of the Fade, it’s the entirety of how “American” culture is just Black culture and no one gives us credit for it. Every profitable aspect of American culture, is just Black culture. Literally, around the world, the only aspects celebrated by America, are the Blackest parts. Street fashion is wildly popular in Europe and Japan. Never mind that the bulk of KPop sounds like early Nineties, New Jack RnB, the fact that they fry chicken is a thing. That sh*t is a staple of their cultural identity, and it came over with Black GIs during the Korean war. You think Grime would exists in London without American Hip Hop? We made Jordans hot and now they are a worldwide, billion dollar, brand. We made Champion hot. That sh*t was budget rack, K-Mart, junk until we decided otherwise. Black people are the taste makers of this country. We are why American pop culture pops so hard, but I gotta hear about the f*cking “Travis Kelce” like I didn’t rock a fade with a lightning bolt part, back in the fifth grade. Use us until they use us up. In every sense of that statement.

The wildest thing about this whole situation? Yo, we share. We want people to enjoy US. The fact that Kelce got put on to the Fade in the first place, is proof of that. We love bringing people into our culture. We are crazy supportive. When you’re out doing your thing, and you see a gaggle of the Blacks doing theirs, we will encourage you to join us, to shake your tail feathers right along with us. Don’t matter if you’re good at it or not, it’s that energy we want you to have, that vibe we got. Even though this country hates us and is literally founded on the bodies of my ancestors, we still love. We still accept. We still support. And that’s the real tragedy ion all of this. You don’t need to steal or misappropriate or scavenge. We are very willing to accept you into the fold, as long as you are sincere. Eminem was fully embraced by Black people on the merit of his battle skills. White kids took to him because he looked like them but, when all of the backlash and controversy happened over his lyrical content, Black people supported the f*ck out of him Jim Carrey has gone on record to say that it took the Wayans taking a chance of him, in order for Hollywood at large, to deem him safe enough in which to invest. Ace Ventura happened as a direct result of In Living Color. The Black culture is one of Community. We raise out kids together. We accept strays who don’t have that stable family unit. I have, an Indian, White, and mixed little sister; None of whom are related to me by blood, all of whom I’d go to jail for. My best friend, rest in peace, called my momma, “Momma”, and he treated her as such. The White kid who lived behind my childhood home, had issues with bullies and we let him hang out in my home until late then hop the fence to avoid getting jumped. Hell, a former friend of mine’s ex-wife walked to my house, in the middle of the night, barefoot and in her pajamas, because she was too afraid to be at home with her then husband. She felt safe enough to come to me with that sh*t because of the love. To this day, I would do for Renay without hesitation. That’s just how we’re raised. That’s just who we mare as a people. I know, better than anyone, that this will fall on deaf ears. This is America. But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to steal sh*t from us. We are more than willing to share. We are more than willing to put you on. We find joy in that. We find love in it. It’s just such a shame that sentiment isn’t shared. But, of course it isn’t. The next time I go to a barber shop, I gotta ask for a Travis Kelce now because he has been ordained the inventor of the f*cking Fade.

#The Travis Kelce #Fade #Some ol' bullsh*t

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smokeybrand · 3 months

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Culture Vulture

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ocean-anchored · 1 year

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Dear future self… January 30, 2023

It’s Monday and I missed posting my week of highlights & good things.

Honestly this whole week has been pretty great, exhausting but great. I definitely over booked myself & had plans every single night & up to two to three different plans each day of the weekend & when the weekend came, Saturday I just crashed.

I’m really thankful for the relationship I’m building back up with Steven & Amanda. Finally have the condo stuff organized so meliss can sort he finances to start clearing that off. I met another girl friend this week that we had a great evening & connection. I just keep growing to love Amber. We’re so similar & we literally talk for hours every time we meet up, she really is a gem & im so thankful I found her & that we have such a good connection. I can see her being a longterm friend.

I’ve been growing my relationship back with meliss. That’s really nice. The first few weeks was real iffy & I know Steven got in my head a bit but man it was so healthy last weekend when meliss & I sat down & just aired everything & spoke from our hearts & really we’re able to listen to each other. It was so good.

With that being said, I’ve finally cut off Richardt. The shit he pulled, I think he started realizing that he totally fucked up & really tried to save it but I don’t trust him or anything he says. His words were always way too good & his actions more often than not reflected the opposite. As much as he didn’t want to part ways & he asked if we would be able to speak again after time passed, I don’t see it happening. Honestly I haven’t really thought about him much at all. Like the only times have been when I’ve check my story & see that he’s looked at it. Otherwise on a day to day im not finding myself thinking or reminiscing which I’m thankful for. I thought it would be really hard to do & to get over. Not saying it might not in the future & hit me but so far it’s been good.

Works been okay. This week I felt a little overwhelmed, thought that I wasn’t sure if I should be working both jobs and maybe take a step back. I’m so hung up & I go back & forth so often. It’s so nice having the extra money, helping pay other bills & save so I can enjoy life but the stress of Danny can be a lot. I’m not burnt out though, which is nice & a little surprising. Mostly because Ed doesn’t have insane amounts of work & because he takes a while to get back to me or task me which is nice though because the days I do work home it’s nice to really balance my day & I don’t have much stress.

I always check my time hopper app & look back on my memories from a year ago each day cause I usually find it funny. Today I had reread a lengthy post from 7 years ago writing about a fight travis & I had gotten into. I was mind boggled. I literally had said all the things that I said & felt at the end of our marriage. 1.5 years into our relationship & he was completely lying and saying the exact same things he was just last year. It blows my mind how I saw those red flags but I just loved him too much, was too insecure & so lost that I couldn’t & wouldn’t do anything to change it. I shake my head. Thinking what my life would have been like these last 8 years if I hadn’t continued that relationship. Where would I be today? Who would I have ended up with? Would I have even found my faith back? Would it have been worse, with someone else? Would I have been happier? What would my life be like? I can ask myself all those questions but as tough as it was & such a shame, it’s taught me so much & it really has made me who I am today. It’s pushed me back to God and to my faith. It’s strengthened my relationship with my family. It’s gained confidence in myself & who I am. It’s helped me feel worthy again & to know who I am. It was hell going through but being on this side, I’m not sure if I would have a do over. I don’t like regrets. It really has changed and grown who I am & for the most part, I am pretty happy with who I am & how far I’ve come & where my life is today.

#personal #dear future self #week recap #weekly update

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theregoesmylurkerstatus · 3 years

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SPOILERS AND ASSUMPTIONS FOR CAMPAIGN 1!

OKAY, let me start by categorising what spoilers I know as best I can, going (mostly) in chronological order AFAIK:

Clarota betrays them (VERY sad, when I first watched those first 10-ish episodes I was fully behind Keyleth’s ‘trust him’ train)

Vax loses a foot to lava and also his snake belt rip

Kima and Allura are the cool, trustworthy PCs, as is everyone’s favourite, Gilmore, a shopkeep with a black belt in karate

The dragonborn guy’s homeland gets dunked on and then later he dies offscreen

Percy’s sister is alive and betrays them but only kind of? I think? She was held captive by the Briarwoods for years and Percy thought she was dead, but she was blackmailed/brainwashed/tortured?

Vax gets cornered by the Briarwoods alone by accident (classic)

There’s a chick called Ripley who makes guns A Thing for the wider world

Something about a sun tree? It’s a creepy tree? They hallucinate their own corpses on it? Or something?

They probably kill one of the hottie vampires at the end of Percy’s arc, I think the male one? Because the lady vampire shows up later?

Percy dies in his arc and it’s the second res ritual they do, after Pike’s one pre-stream

“Take off the mask, darling.” I still don’t care about romance but I feel obligated to mention that I know that famous line

I also know the equally famous “I thought he’d never leave” bubble bath bit, ah Laura

There’s a CHROMA CONCLAVE attack right at the end of Percy’s arc, somewhere

Rashian is a dragon or something, everyone laughs at Liam for not knowing this. I know nothing else about who the Chroma conclave is (3-5 chromatic dragons??? One of each colour????) or what they want, except Vax levels up in the middle of fighting one and Keyleth yells at one

There are communication earrings. There is also a weird black powder man. Victor?

They actually have a permanent home/keep unlike the Mighty Nein?

Vex dies because Percy didn’t check for traps, this is the start of some deal of Vax’s with the Raven Queen which means he multiclasses into paladin?

Vax can fly, he can fly, he can fly!

Uhhhh there’s a couple cursed swords or something in there lol

Percy sells his soul briefly? Genius move Smart Guy lmao

Feywild??? Somehow????? They meet Artagan and make a deal with him for a doorway, and they spend an episode as cows somewhere in here?

Keyleth has Mom Trauma, I don’t know how much this will feature in the campaign

Vax and Vex’s dad suxxx or something, mother is dead

Scanlan hits on his surprise daughter and everyone screams

They have some kind of year long adventuring group break for some reason?

Keyleth makes a storm on an airship (???) and this is cool. Also she turns into a fire elemental a lot and this is also cool.

There’s a kraken fight? It goes really badly, like LEGENDARILY badly, and ngl I’m kind of looking forward to it

Scanlan #LOSESIT and has his legendary ‘what’s my mother’s name?’ rant, after which he leaves for an undetermined number of episodes and is replaced by Tary

This leads to Grog spelling C-A-T for some reason and this???? Makes people cry???????? Truly something you had to be there for

Pike tries to commission drawings of VM for Tary (who calls Vex “little elf girl” and braces for impact when Laura’s nostrils flare) and this goes Very Wrong in a funny way

Tary’s dad sucks

He writes a book

Some NPC reads said book in campaign 2, hence why I know about it

Grog has an arc to do with the other Goliaths who beat him up for defending Pike’s dad?

When Scanlan comes back he tries to sneak in, Vex chases him and he panics and casts modify memory on Vex, it fails several times, an angsty moment becomes comedic very fast

He is received with Mixed Emotions lmao

Keyleth turns into a goldfish and kills herself, this is both apparently extremely painful and extremely funny

Vax gets disintegrated and dies in a beholder fight (rip)

Gilmore is not a dragon but everyone was fully convinced he was. He also gets bodysnatched or something at some point to freak out VM, but they figure out very quickly it’s not him

Scanlan is Ioun’s chosen? Whatever that means, something to help fight Vecna I think

“It was an honour knowing you” sad! Sad! Sad line! Gilmore doesn’t understand, cheekily responds, and leaves!!!! Liam looks on the verge of tears!!!!!! SAD!!!!!

There are so many true love nat 20s. I don’t know what any of them are except that Pike has one and Ashley looks like she’s about to cry

They win the Vecna fight and Keyleth gets the HDYWDT, Scanlan wanted to save a Wish spell for Vax but couldn’t, so he stays dead

Everyone cries here but at least the rest of the party is okay

Keyleth is the last woman standing and everyone cries at this too

And then Grog uses the deck of many things, spawning two oneshots to clean up his mess

Also somewhere in here Vex steals a broom from a guest (lol)

Assumptions!!!!!

More tears than campaign 2 I think, since there are at least two resurrection rituals we see on screen that I know of

The fights might be more stressful since they’re higher level?

Scanlan is going to be the most sexual and lewd character because he is played by Sam

Vex is going to be the second most sexual and lewd character because she is played by Laura

Vax will still instigate most of the one-on-ones so Liam can have as many heavy conversations as his theatre kid’s heart desires

Keyleth will try and fail to make the group more moral

Pike will not try to be moral at all despite being four feet of blessed armour and adorable hair

I think other characters try to make Percy feel remorse for Murder Reasons, but I suspect he’s not going to feel that guilty (I will likely support him in murderous endeavours unless they are FAR more messed up than I currently believe)

From what I understand Grog is Loveable but not hugely layered or complex, and I know Travis was proud he didn’t cry this campaign. I suspect I may be surprised at the character depth Travis gives him, however.

Keyleth also thinks the gods are overrated and I AGREE

Percy is three feral and eldritch raccoons in a trench coat, held together only by sheer force of will and the fragile shell of a posh accent. No one notices because it’s a really cool accent.

There will be a lot more money/shopping/drinking elements than in campaign 2, since I know Vex is a haggler, Percy is a Lord, and Keyleth is a day-drinker? As are Grog and Scanlan

It will be funny for me to see Taliesin play a smart character and Travis a dumb one, though I know that the whiplash went the other way for most people lmao

Vox Machina will be less team-heavy than the Mighty Nein? I gather they’re more of an ‘individual hero’ makeup than an ‘everyone has support abilities’ makeup

It will be more fast-paced than campaign 2? It seems like a lot of the arcs lead directly into each other, with only the occasional shopping episode break

It feels like it might be less friendship heavy than the Mighty Nein? Like they seem more like ‘we’d die for each other’ pals who otherwise spend all their time trying to draw dicks on each other’s faces

They have a more clear “party leader” than the Mighty Nein, who might be Percy and/or Keyleth

I think most PCs and NPCs are more morally clear cut than in campaign 2, like most towns and people in positions of power are either “cool guy who can pitch in” or “get rid of this abomination immediately” territory

I think my favourite character will be Vex, Percy or Keyleth. I just feel it in my bones.

I think I may also get an extreme soft spot for Grog and Pike, however

My main sources of surprise will be, I think, how things fit together? Like I have no idea WHY they’re in the Feywild, or most other places really, or what any villains’ motivations and backstories and personality traits are, and how they end up fighting any of them in any particular place for any particular reason. I don’t even really know characters’ abilities or literally anything done in any of the fights, aside from “they win/nearly die” and “Scanlan uses Wish and Bigby’s Hand against Vecna”

I assume most plot threads all lead into each other fairly solidly and that they don’t actually seek most of their stuff out?

This assumption will either be fairly right or hilariously wrong, but -- I assume that I already know almost everything important or shocking? I tried really hard to avoid it but being active in campaign 2 meant that over time I got exposed to more and more of campaign 1, and I genuinely believe that I have almost everything down, if not details or order. I don’t think I’ve missed any big moment or impactful arc

Let’s see if I’m right

#critical role #campaign 1 #ramblings #Vox Machina #campaign 1 spoilers #c1e01 #c2e114 #c1e115 #will start rewatch (just first episode) either today or tomorrow

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friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn · 2 years

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Hi! I'm the same anon that requested the tartarus preference. I loved it! But- it made me realize that I kinda want a happy ending that the reader comes back to them. If thats okay can you pls write that with the same characters- Ty in advance!

Of course I can :) I’m glad to hear you enjoyed the first bit, but let’s make it a bit happier, shall we?

Percy Jackson

Percy has a breakdown the second he sees you.

He actually believes he’s either dreaming or dead.

It takes a while to convince him that you're really there and alive.

He becomes extremely protective of you once the shock has passed. He absolutely refuses to lose you again, and he doesn't care that everyone can see this so obviously.

At some point, you're going to have to tell him that you can take care of yourself. The sooner you remind him of this, the better: otherwise it'll just keep escalating.

Of course, it's always nice to know there's a son of the seagod willing to wreak havoc if anything were to happen to you.

Percy actually has more nightmares than you, or at least more that wake him up.

Leo Valdez

Leo is mostly just insanely relieved.

Hugs you for fifteen minutes straight.

Much like Percy, he's reluctant to leave your side, though it's easier to convince him to do so.

Leo will do literally anything for you, you don’t even have to ask.

Overall, Leo is the one who treats you almost as if nothing ever happened. He acknowledges that you went through Tartarus, but he doesn’t start treating you like you’re made of glass because of it.

Leo is quite curious about Tartarus, but he won’t ask unless he knows you’re okay with it.

Connor Stoll

Connor reacts a little more weirdly: he becomes a little distant.

It quickly becomes clear that this is because he’s terrified of losing you again.

It’s Travis who pulls him out of this and reminds him how lucky he is that you came back alive.

Connor immediately apologises to you and explains everything to you.

Once you get that over with, Connor will ask you about Tartarus. Much like Leo, he’s very curious about it.

It’s a breath of fresh air when everyone else is dancing around the subject.

And that’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for coming back, anon! I’m gonna start calling you Tartarus anon lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! Have a lovely day/night :)

#pjo preferences #pjo #percy jackson #pjo hoo toa #hoo #leo valdez #connor stoll

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teruthecreator · 3 years

Text

okay. thoughts on the grad finale

gonna slap it under a readmore bc i’m Sure i’m gonna ramble.

uh spoiler warning for the finale of taz graduation, as well as spoilers for the season in general.

also, these are my own thoughts of how the season went, what the themes were, etc! if you don’t agree with me, that’s fine! but i don’t wanna have a convo w you in the replies about it i’ll be honest. if you want to share your opinion so badly, make your own post, alright? that good? we cool?

aight. so. finale thoughts.

to make it short: i think the finale was a satisfying end of a very good arc.

to expand upon that, let me share what i think the themes of graduation were and why the finale satisfies those themes.

i made a post about this a while back (here it is if you want) but my honest belief was that the theme of graduation was self-reliance: the concept that you don’t allow yourself to be governed by forces that go against your own beliefs. this concept was coined by essayist ralph waldo emerson to talk about how the american people shouldn’t allow the government to create laws that go against the will of the people. now, understandably, this feels very anti-capitalist which is what i think a lot of fans believed was reflected through the season.

but, in reality, self-reliance has more to do with being active in your government and making sure you’re being represented the way you want to be by your representatives. that’s sort of the vibe emerson was going for in his essay, and i think. in a sense? that translates to graduation. but i took self-reliance in the more metaphorical about breaking away from those things that are controlling you. which, in graduation, was A Lot Of Things.

the way i saw it, there were two major groups that inflicted order upon the world and the thundermen--conveniently separated as order and chaos (not the deities though, just the concepts).

the order half of control existed mostly through the school and the HOG. the HOG created the economic reliance on the heroes and villains system, which removed all literal meaning from those terms and turned them into bureaucratic titles. society existed under these very strict checks and balances; heroes and villains supplied money to the kingdom in terms of entertainment, which then boosted that kingdom’s creditability and allowed them to contribute more to nua’s economy, which then led heroes and villains to have a higher demand, thus perpetuating the cycle. it’s important to note that this term does not represent the sort of morality we expect for heroes and villains--hell, even the term “evil” turned into an arbitrary term used to show those heroes and villains who failed the system. this is the more prominent representation of control that the thundermen break away from in achieving their own self-reliance. they don’t see the value in a system that holds no real moral code (fitzroy Especially, but i’ll get into that in a bit), and can’t help the public when there’s actually a serious situation. as we saw with althea in the beginning, the HOG had no way to help the thundermen when they were dealing with the whole Demon Prince situation (as he had already placed some of his own people in there, proving these kind of systems are easily corruptible). so this wasn’t a system meant to Actually create heroes and villains--it was just a way of boosting the economy.

the chaos half of control existed primarily through grey and Chaos. grey represented how chaos could be controlled, through various means. he planted that tree for the centaurs to fight over because he knew it would constantly create conflict, which he enjoyed. he kept the school under a watchful eye to prevent anyone from stepping out of line with his grand ideas, and used several manipulation tactics to try and get his way (most notably, his own admittance of grooming fitzroy into joining his side, which didn’t work). grey was the perfect example of how chaos does not automatically mean a lack of control. he was very controlling in how he did things because he had an endgoal: find hieronymous and have a war. but he didn’t even realize he was contributing to a greater idea, that being Chaos’s insistence on causing general disarray. as we realize now, Chaos’s plan was both for them and Order, but i’m leaving Order out for a second because they only really rear their head in towards the end. for the most part, audiences were led to assume that Chaos was the Big Bad(TM); they were the one pulling the strings, allowing things to happen to cause general chaos and disarray. them supplying random mortals with their endless power was a way to plant chaos into the world of nua; but it was a chaos they controlled. fitzroy resisting them was not simply a refusal to bend to Chaos, but it was resisting the control put on him through his magic.

these systems were constricting the thundermen on both sides. when they thought they’d find help in one side, they were disappointed to find that there was nothing anyone could do. the only people who could fix their problems were...them. so they forged a new path, set new ideas, and became self-reliant. that’s what i think is the most important aspect of graduation; not the anti-capitalist implications of turning over the economic and political systems in place, but the idea that if nothing that is supposed to help you is actually helping that you can just...do your own thing!

and i think that’s what the finale really shows, at the end of the day. that these forms of control were not doing anything helpful, and were in fact ruining the fabric of space-time! that’s where i think Order comes in because Order is really...the ultimate culmination of control. they are aware that Everything being done will benefit their cause. the HOG? well, they make sure everybody’s so incompetent that they can do their work. grey? well, he’ll contribute to the plan without even realizing it. they even manipulated Chaos and enacted their own form of control over Chaos to make sure that they had no reason to believe that this plan couldn’t go wrong. but Order knew. Order always knew there was a chance for error, and that chance was very great. but they didn’t care! so long as they had control of things, they could try a hundred times to get it right. they had no care for mortals, unlike Chaos.

the thundermen showing Chaos the truth is the final jenga piece that collapses this tower of control. which is why the finale is so great.

travis does a phenomenal job of incorporating chaos (general chaos) into the battle mechanics. it may be stupid and slightly arbitrary, but having them change forms randomly and having to adapt to those new circumstances really does exemplify the season!!! the thundermen were constantly forced into new situations (being sidekicks/henches, fitzroy becoming a villain, being let in on the heiro dog situation, the unbroken chain trial, joining forces w grey, etc.), and in all of them they simply found a way to adapt and keep working their way. which made the finale generally interesting and also thematically interesting!

i think my favorite part of the entire fight scene is right at the end, when argo chucks the shark’s tooth necklace at Order. and time stops. and they’re given a choice.

the fact that they leave it to a coin toss?? oh my god...how fucking FITTING!! like, that’s disorderly. that’s going your own way. it’s new, it’s terrifying, it has DIRE UNKNOWNS ON EITHER SIDE, but it’s what they do! and...it ends up working out! i think it would’ve worked out either way, but the fact that they left it up to chance really shows how they aren’t allowing anything to control their actions.

AND THEN WE GET TO THE EPILOGUE. MY GOD I LOVE THE EPILOGUE I’M GONNA GO OFF SO MUCH.

first off, i loved hearing how Nua adapts to losing this very significant form of government/economic contributor and turns to more people-based work. citizens uniting together, fixing things, making amends, THAT’S SELF-RELIANCE BABEY!!! THAT’S THE WHOLE EMERSON SHIT! HAVING A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT THAT ACTUALLY HAS THE INTERESTS OF THE PEOPLE AT LARGE!!! YEAHHHHHHHHH THAT’S THE WHOLE SELF-RELIANCE THING!

now, i’ll break it down by characters:

fitzroy

GOD. LOVE IT. FIRST OFF, absolutely ADORED how his character arc involved him stripping himself of these self-assigned titles because he actually has an identity that is all his own and he doesn’t NEED arbitrary titles to prove his worth because HE HAS IT IN HIMSELF. not to self-plug or anything, but that’s ssoss!fitzroy’s WHOLE SHIT. I’VE ALREADY BEEN ON THIS TRAIN, BITCH, AND TO KNOW I GOT IT SO RIGHT...GOD. FEELS GOOD.

but also, i just really enjoy how his ending went in general. the fact that he doesn’t really know what he wants to do, so he just...does stuff he likes to do? that’s so good! because, if you remember, fitzroy had a Very set schedule of life events when the campaign started. he was going to get his wiggenstaffs degree, go back knight school, get his knight school degree, and then go to goodcastle. but all of that was based on a very limited understanding of himself.

fitzroy’s character arc has primarily focused finding himself, specifically in terms of identity. for someone who was bullied for his past, the present formation of himself was Extremely important to fitzroy. he thought that shutting out his past and taking on this grandiose title of knighthood would make him something more than himself. he would no longer be fitzroy; the poor, country kid trying to make it in a big world. he’d be Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt; respected, honored, revered, with a title to prove it.

he explains to fauxronymous (pre-reveal grey) that the reason he wanted to be a knight was because he wanted to assist in doing good. morally good. fitzroy has Always had a very clear sense of his morality; this comes through when he refuses Chaos on the basis of many people having to die if he agreed. but being a knight also had the added of bonus of a very respectable title that no one would want to look beyond, which fitzroy felt he needed because...i don’t think he Saw anything beyond that. in himself. he wasn’t himself for a very long time, and i don’t know if he ever thought he would be again. he’d wear this new identity, start a new life, and be happier....he hoped.

then, things changed! and he started to realize that arbitrary titles don’t do shit because plenty of people with Big Important Titles ended up being Awful People! so he started to value himself For Himself; his wit, his humor, his strength, his magical prowess. and, i think, he started to wonder what knighthood was Really about. was it about upholding a moral good? or was it just another bureaucracy filled with people who won’t do shit when things get bad.

i think this is why him becoming a lawyer is fitting. especially because of the reasoning he gives sylvia nite. now for A LOT OF PEOPLE, i’m sure they hear lawyer and assume some corporate hotshot who doesn’t give a shit about people. but fitzroy is Not applying to be a corporate laywer. he SPECIFICALLY telsl sylvia that he wants to help people who cannot help themselves, and he wants to do good in that way. THAT kind of lawyer is more of the pro-bono, district lawyer. the ones that don’t make crazy amounts of cash, but help those who cannot afford lawyers and represent them when the government is fucking them over. those lawyers don’t rely on title, they rely on principle.

that’s the perfect representation of fitzroy’s growth. holding his identity within himself, while still trying to do good by those who need it.

firbolg (aka gary)

i think the firbolg’s ending is so unique but so...right for him. his character arc has really been focused around finding his family. he had one, in the beginning, in his clan. but that didn’t end up, y’know...working out that much. so he had to go out into the world alone--something that firbolg’s are rarely--and try and navigate these foreign spaces all by himself.

we see very early on how he latches onto the idea of groups. he likes being considered a part of the thundermen; he very much hoists himself upon the CFO title and wears it proudly. i think, where fitzroy needed to find identity within himself, the firbolg needed to find it within other people. which is completely okay! he’s still an individual, but you can tell he finds comfort in numbers because that’s what he is used to.

him going back to his clan was, i believe, his finally severance with his identity as “firbolg”. he would never be welcomed back to his clan, and one of the few people in his life who supported him was now dead. but his father was proud of him; his father was happy he seemed to find his own clan, even if it wasn’t with other firbolgs. from that moment on, i think the firbolg begins to try finding himself within the thundermen. within his friends.

so his epilogue is neat! it definitely captures the loneliness he feels on his own, and how he feels lost with himself without others. i think it might seem silly to some that he would become a gary, but i think it’s fitting. the garys were always present in his time at school, and they were always helpful. they didn’t mind how long it took him to talk because the gary’s are stone gargoyles--what the fuck do they care about time? it was a group that the firbolg saw as familiar to him--always willing to help, slow, stony, and attuned to a larger group.

and i think the way gary takes this idea of unity and family and puts it into financial assistance just...it just ties everything together! we saw how attached he got to the concept of finances, thanks to his very confusing accounting class. so he had all of this new knowledge--this knowledge that represented a separation from firbolgs--and this new clan. and he used it to help other clans and families!! i think the fact that the Garys financial advice works specifically with groups is what makes this so fitting. because gary wants families to feel stable within themselves; he understands how finances can create struggle and divides, and he wants to provide relief.

giving financial advice to communities so they rely on themselves and not the government (aka inviting them to be controlled once more) is a VERY self-reliant concept. not that i think gary’s goal is to have no social networks to exist, but he wants to give communities the ability to rely on one another and foster that feeling of togetherness. so groups aren’t fighting over things, but are trusting and loving and relying.

just like gary’s always wanted. and just like what he has with the thundermen.

argo

argo’s ending is probably the funniest, but also the sweetest. i think that argo’s character arc revolved around finding his place. we see how argo’s early personality and motivations revolved around his past. he very much had a revenge story since the start; he wanted to enact revenge on the commodore for murdering his mother, no matter what it took. which made him very limited!! in terms of the self. he saw himself less for what he was now, and what he was then. and what he couldn’t do then.

we see how much he finds comfort in being a part of the thundermen, but also how he feels...out of place. i think this is because a part of him is still attached to his past and doesn’t think he can do anything beyond his set plan. the unbroken chain certainly contributes to this, by not only separating him from the trio but also reinforcing his connection to his past through his mother’s involvement in the unbroken chain.

the commodore also being a part of the unbroken chain is, i think, what causes the shift from past to present within argo. his life’s goal is standing right in front of him--attached to the group his mother once was a part of--with his friends at his side. letting the thundermen in on his history is the start of bridging these two halves of argo. and the fact that the thundermen are so willing to helps makes argo feel more a part of the team and more a part of this reality.

when he kills the commodore, it isn’t intense. it isn’t overly dramatic (minus the fight prior, which was BADASS), it isn’t crazily staged. it is argo, staring down the commodore who lies prone on the ground.

he kills himself unceremoniously and completes his life-long mission.

what becomes of him in the epilogue is the culimination of both past and present. he takes what he knows and loves (the sea, the mariah, sailing) and blends it with what he’s come to love now (his friends, this adventure, and making people happy). there are SO many instances where argo uses performance to his advantage. this man is piloted by clint mcelroy, of COURSE he’s going to have a flair for the dramatic.

so for him to open up a themed cruiseline, based on the stories of him and his friends? SO FITTING. and it isn’t forcing himself to leave his past behind or to completely ignore his present circumstances. because he’s found a place in the now, in the merging of these two sides. and by merging them, he paints a bright future for himself. a future that is partially known, partially not. partially old, partially new.

but it’s all his.

after that, i think their final scene is just...sweet. a nice, jovial, joking send-off to a nice season. it proves these people have grown and will continue to grow, even when we no longer see their story. it does exactly what graduation does--shows you a struggle, a triumph, and a glimpse into the future.

i’ll miss it so much, but there’s nothing more i could’ve asked of this ending. it was exactly what it needed to be; nothing more, nothing less.

#taz grad spoilers #taz graduation #sir fitzroy maplecourt #argo keene #firbolg #taz fitzroy #taz argo #taz firbolg #ignorance cloud on #this took a while and now my head hurts so lol!#also if there are spelling mistakes leave me alone i cant read this text anymore

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grittyreadsfic · 3 years

Text

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

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