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bratzforchris · 1 month

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Goldfish

Summary: Matt has a chronic illness that the nurses at his local clinic are all too familiar with. The new nurse in town hasn't had a chance to meet him yet, but what happens when she does?

Pairing: Matt x nursefem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of needles and blood, chronic illness, use of medical steroids, flirty nurse!reader (this is all fiction!), Matt is 20/reader is 23, Matt has a service dog!!

Word Count: Just over 2k

A/N: This is lowkey inspired by the experience I had a few days ago with a flirty nurse while I was in the ER (I'm still thinking about him--had me giggling n kicking my feet n shit like I was in a rom com [this is definitely a story time]). ANYWAY, Matt has PFAPA (my chronic illness!) here. It's usually a childhood thing, but some rare cases like myself don't grow out of it. You can read more about it here, if you'd like. Enjoy!!

Matt Sturniolo is all too familiar with his local pediatric emergency room. In fact, he’s been there so many times that the nurses have started to treat him as less of a patient, and more of a friend. “Hey Matt!”, “How’s YouTube going, Matt?”, “I remember you!”, “I saw you last time!”, and the list went on. Some might ask why he still went there at almost 21, but when you had a chronic illness, it was best to see the people who had been caring for you for years if you could. These nurses had been caring for him at least once a month, ever since he was 12, and were usually quite skilled in how to manage the brunette’s comfort.

Matt had PFAPA, which left him with high fevers and extremely sore, almost strep like sore throats every month. It was a miserable thing to live, and it really impacted his happiness, especially on days like today when he was having one of the worst flare ups he’d had in a long time and both Nick and Chris were unable to come along with him to the doctor. Luckily for Matt, he had his service dog, Emily, with him, but he still longed for a human companion as well. While some people wondered why he ‘needed’ a service dog, Matt’s disability was invisible. Emily would let him know when his flare ups were starting as well as laying on him to soothe his body aches and chills and helping with his anxiety at doctor visits.

The nurse tech took him into the back rather quickly, running their usual tests of strep, the flu, and COVID. About 98% of the time, they would all come back negative, but the hospital staff liked to do all they could to make Matt more comfortable. Sure enough, the nurse practitioner stepped in about 30 minutes later, a sad look on her face.

“How are you feeling, Matt?”

Matt shrugged, grimacing as his throat ached when he swallowed. “‘M not great.” he murmured, petting his pup’s head softly as the anxiety welled in his chest.

“Well, everything came back negative,” she told, a sad look on her face. “We can test you for mono, though. You have a lot of the symptoms for that. That one is a blood test. We’re also going to give you an IV since you’re dehydrated.”

That sentence alone made him want to cry. Despite the tattoos and piercings he had, Matt hated medical needles. They hurt and they freaked him out. Sensing his anxiety, Emily scooted closer to Matt, whining softly and butting his leg with her head. Matt pet the dog’s head softly, steadying himself to get his breath. “Okay…” he breathed, steadying himself.

The nurse practitioner patted his leg gently, hurrying out of the room to attend to her other patients. Matt began to panic, his breathing rapidly increasing as tears welled in his eyes. He didn’t want any of this. He just wanted them to tell him what was wrong so he could get some meds, go home, and sleep. Patting the bed he was laying on gently, Emily hopped up, curling into Matt’s side. The pooch rested her head on her owner’s chest, subconsciously working to slow the brunette’s heart rate.

A few minutes later, another nurse and a lab tech stepped into the small room he was in, holding a tray full of supplies. Matt squeezed his eyes shut tightly at the sight, already dreading the feeling of getting blood drawn. Both healthcare workers were very kind, of course, whispering soft nothings to him as they patted his leg and prepared to draw his blood. They promised him that the procedure would be quick and easy, but those words never mixed well with a chronic illness.

“Your vein rolled because you’re dehydrated. We’re going to have to draw from your other arm.” the lab tech informed him.

“O…kay.” Matt whispered shakily, trying to get his breath and the feeling in his hand back.

The brunette knew that it was okay to cry, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing. He was a grown man, laying here in a kid’s hospital room, trying not to cry while they tried to draw his blood again in his right arm. Unfortunately for Matt, the dehydration he was experiencing from his extremely sore throat caused his vein to roll again.

“Oh sweetheart,” the nurse said sympathetically, patting his leg. “We’re going to give you a minute, okay? Let’s get some water and Gatorade in you before we try again.”

Matt just nodded as he was passed a mini water bottle and a cherry Gatorade. He was hearing their words, but honestly, he didn’t care. All he knew was that he was going to be poked and prodded again, and he didn’t like it. Emily snuggled into his side, whining softly and brushing her sandpaper tongue against her owner’s arm, trying desperately to get Matt to feel better.

“Alright, honey,” the sweet, older nurse stepped into Matt’s room again, holding a fresh tub of supplies to draw his blood. “Let’s try it in your left hand, okay?”

Because chronic illness never made things easy, the third time was still a failure, leaving Matt with an already bruising hand and tears pricking his eyes. Before he knew it, he was being shoved a packet of goldfish crackers, a popsicle, and more water, being informed that he had to eat before they could try again. The snacks felt like swallowing shrapnel, making the boy cringe every time he had to swallow.

“Hello, oldest patient of the day!” You cheered, practically walking into Matt’s room on a cloud of glitter.

Matt jumped in shock, petting his dog’s head to calm his racing heart. “...hi…” he mumbled.

“They called me in for backup,” You explained, a smile on your face. You absolutely loved nursing, and every day at your job truly felt like a gift. You’d graduated from nursing school last year at the top of your class and had been working in the pediatric emergency room ever since. It wasn’t every day that you had a patient who was 20, but you didn’t mind. “We’re getting this blood draw this time so you can get the fuck out of here,” You slapped a hand over your mouth. “Shit, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind if I curse.”

For the first time all day, a small giggled made its way out of Matt’s mouth. “No, I’m okay.”

“I see you have a buddy,” You commented. “That’s nice.”

“She helps my…anxiety.” Matt seemingly chose his words carefully, but they still made you smile. It was clear that the boy had a bond with his pup.

“I’m gonna look at your tonsils first so we can get you some medicine to help you swallow and then we’ll draw your blood, okay?” You asked, wanting to make sure your patient was comfortable with everything.

At the mention of a blood draw, Matt’s blue eyes widened with anxiety, his body becoming visibly tense. You had become in tune with this, sliding on a pair of pink latex gloves and patting the soft material of the pajama pants on his knee.

“Hey, look at me,” You murmured softly, waiting for his response. Once Matt had looked at you, you chugged on. “We’re just chilling, okay? I’m not going to do anything yet.”

Matt nodded, letting out an anxious breath he’d been holding. “Okay.” he whispered.

You grabbed the flashlight to look in his throat off the wall. “Alright, I’m pretty sure you know the drill,” You chuckled. “Open and say ‘ahhh!’...oh yeah, you’ve got an icky throat. That looks like it hurts. Although…did you have a blue popsicle? You’ve got blue tonsils. It’s rather endearing.”

Matt flushed, his ears going red as he nodded. You smiled softly, throwing away the cap and hanging the flashlight back on the wall. You gave the boy the steroidal liquid the nurse practitioner had drawn up for him to ease the swelling in his throat, a blush creeping onto your face as Matt scrunched his eyes up at the disgusting taste, quite literally making grabby hands for his Gatorade.

“Fuck, that’s gross.” he whined.

“At least you got it over with!” You hummed cheerfully, in a small aim to make him feel better. “Unfortunately, it’s time for the bad part, but we can make it a little less shitty if you want? Maybe you could play me some music? Something you like, okay?”

Matt fiddled with his phone for a moment before landing on Dominic Fike’s latest release. You smiled at the lyrics, releasing this was one of your favorite songs at the moment. You prepped the materials needed to finally get Matt’s blood drawn for the mono test, patting his knee gently in an effort to calm his trembling frame as he rubbed his pup’s head.

“Hey, can I tell you something?” You whispered shyly, setting him up for the procedure. “You’ve got goldfish in your teeth–it’s really cute.” You giggled, your own cheeks becoming red.

The brunette whined, breathing deeply as you began to draw his blood. “That’s embarrassing.” he grunted.

A few deep breaths and small, sad noises later, you had finally gotten the sample needed. “We got it!” You told Matt excitedly, placing a Barney band aid across the site. “All done!”

You bustled around the room, making sure Matt was comfortable, throwing away your supplies, and making notes on your clipboard. You helped the boy drink water and got him (and Emily) a blanket, before taking his samples down to the lab to get checked out. By the time everything was said and done, an hour had passed and Matt was asleep against the small bed when you knocked on his door.

“Hey sleepyhead,” You giggled, stepping into the room. “Nice nap?” Matt fisted his eyes, nodding as you went over his discharge instructions. You always hated releasing patients with no explanations or answers as to why they felt so bad, but in cases like Matt’s, that wasn’t always possible. Your best bet was to make him as comfortable as possible here. “Do you have any questions?”

The brunette shook his head, finally able to speak now that the steroids were beginning to work their magic on his throat. “No, but thank you. You’ve been the best nurse I’ve had all day…maybe even ever.”

You blushed at the compliment, helping the boy stand since you knew he was already exhausted, dehydrated, and lightheaded from having his blood drawn. “Do you need help getting to your car? I actually just got off.” You murmured shyly, glancing at the clock on the wall.

Despite Matt’s steadiness on his feet and his grip on Emily’s leash, the blue-eyed boy nodded all the same, a quietly flustered look crossing his face. You smiled yourself, maneuvering Matt out to his car with a firm, yet gentle hand on his lower back. Thankfully, the waiting room had quieted down quite a bit now that it was nearing the evening, so no one questioned or pulled you away from walking Matt out. It was a slow trek with your patient being a bit unsteady on his feet, but you didn’t mind. Matt’s presence made you happy in an odd sort of way; you hated that he wasn’t well and that this would continue to happen for him, but you couldn’t stop your mind from thinking about seeing him again.

“I um…I hope this isn’t weird, but I would really like to see you again. Maybe another time? When you’re not in pain?” You coughed and chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

He smiled as he slid into the driver’s seat, rubbing his aching head that was seemingly getting better just by being around you. “I’d like that,” he offered. “I’d like that a lot, actually.”

Matt didn’t end up leaving his trip to the hospital with many answers beside the usual ‘It’s your chronic illness’, but what he did end up leaving with was your phone number scribbled onto a pink sticky note that he had been given in the parking lot.

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy

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hellyeahsickaf · 5 months

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Abled people don't fucking get it.

You don't get to imply I'm living some kind of "forever vacation". It's perpetual pain. If you see me doing something I enjoy, it's not because it's what I'd rather be doing than being "productive". I fucking miss the gym but things like video games are just a much more accessible activity these days. I'm not "lounging", I don't get a break from the pain just that sometimes I'm able to take my mind off of it

Unemployment isn't some kind of break or excuse to not participate in society (capitalism is garbage but being disabled=/=unemployed for the hell of it). For reasons, I fell behind in school, bad. But I got myself a diploma equivalent and finally felt I'd chosen the line of work I wanted. I had connections, opportunities. I had fibro and some fatigue (unknowingly CFS as that was manageable) but I was getting PT and managing it as best I could. All I needed was to take courses and I was ready for that even with the difficulty of my then undiagnosed ADHD.

And then I got sick, really sick. Worst mono infection my doctor had ever seen due to medical neglect, Shoutout to those shitty CVS minute clinics. It made my ME/CFS so much worse, I was stuck in bed all the time before getting put on Adderall for my then newly diagnosed ADHD. Then I thought the fatigue was finally healing and a side effect of Adderall was a huge crash and wave of fatigue. No it turns out when it wore off I just felt the fatigue again lmfao

I was told I'd be better within 6 months. Okay so I can opt for the Spring semester, no big deal. 8 months go by, a year, a year and a half. I waited and waited. Hoping that "when I get better" I could be caught up with everyone else I knew my age. That was over 7 years ago. Do people think I wanted that all taken from me? To get progressively worse and worse?

Do they think loss of agency is something I enjoy? Needing help, being unable to drive, to enjoy my old hobbies, cook for myself regularly? I've been accused of enjoying this and not wanting to get better as if this hasn't put my head in very dark places. Sometimes I feel like I see a way out of this and it isn't recovery. They don't get it. I don't enjoy being heavily medicated but I know I need to be. I don't enjoy having things purchased for me because I want more financial independence. I don't enjoy feeling like a leech, actually.

It's not a vacation, it's hell. You can go on about how much more exhausted you are because you work or whatever but the thing is I don't need a job to feel what you feel after working. I feel like I worked a 12 hour shift after taking a shower on some days, no exaggeration. You can't compare your able bodied exhaustion to the effects of a chronic illness that fucks you up without you needing to work a full time job. This is my full time job and it wasn't the one I was hoping for exactly

#chronic pain #disability #chronic illness #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе #actually disabled #spoonie #me/cfs #cfs/me #long covid

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astaroth1357 · 1 year

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My Incredibly Spoiler Heavy Thoughts on Nightbringer

TURN BACK IF YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST IN PLAYING THE GAME AT ALL. I MEAN IT.

Hello. I have completed all 10 lessons on the Normal difficulty. These are my thoughts:

First, a disclaimer. All of this is my opinion. If you feel differently about a character or plot point, that's fine. This is all just as I see it.

Holy hell, I love the setup here so damn much. The Nightbringer story so far is truly more than just a rehash of the OG plot, largely because of all the small stuff that keeps happening in background. Yes, we're befriending the brothers again, but we don't know WHY. Why are we in the past? Who sent us there? What do they want from us, or... what do they want out of somebody else?? 👀 I have to hand it to the writers for coming up with this premise, it's soild. Will they stick the landing...? We'll see.

The New! (Old) Cast

Lucifer:

Whelp, Luci is being colder to us than ever... But far more openly involved with his brothers than we saw previously. You can really tell that this is fresh off of the War and he's just trying his best to keep everybody corralled and (somewhat) comfortable.

He still holds onto his Celestial Realm prejudice against demons, so he doesn't trust MC at all which is an interesting turn on the dynamic from before. As a human, Lucifer saw us as weak and insignificant so he didn't give us much time of day. But as a "demon," and someone more knowledgeable about the Devildom than himself, he has to suck it up and rely on MC even if he wants them to stay away.

By the end of Lesson 10, it's safe to say whatever trust he had in MC is going to be shattered. MC has talked their way out of a lot, but even Dia looks shaken by their abilities this time... I'm curious to see if they can reestablish a relationship with him when he was already keeping them at arms length to start with.

Mammon:

Ah, Mammon... Once simp, forever a simp across time and space. Bless him. I guess he's just doomed to always fall first when it comes to MC. It DOES NOT take long for him to be down bad even if you don't romance him specifically (I would know because I'm trying to stay mono-Levi this go around).

Aside from his tsundere-ness, though, we do get a look into more of his insecurities. I find an interesting pattern developing in him where he just tends to latch onto a person and follow them unfailing. He did that with Lucifer before the Fall, he didn't even think about the consequences before going through with it. You could see him doing much the same with MC. I think it stems from a lack of confidence in himself and his own abilities, constantly relying on others to guide him through big decisions and provide him with validation. Add another poor thing to the list...

Leviathan:

I swear to God, the devs realized that Levi's charm lies in his pathos, so they went out of the way to make him EVEN MORE pathetic than normal. I still love him for it, of course. But seriously, Levi starts out practically afraid of his own shadow when the story starts. It makes sense, Levi would have probably one of the more negative impressions of demons of the seven, having fought them head on. He was a shut in before the War and now he's even more terrified to leave the house, let alone his room... (I can't be the only one who's wondering how the hell Dia's going to look at him and go, "Ah yes! I see Admiral material right there!" right?)

I do like that the writers took the time to show that he's one of the more empathetic brothers, right alongside Asmo and Beel, even if he's bad with people. Levi is quick to sympathize with beings and creatures who don't fit in and it's always very sweet to see. I also guess that Simeon wrote TSL in secret or after the War? You think he would know of it at least having lived so long with the author... Anyway. I digress.

There's a lot of... small things around Levi that I think hint at the inner feelings of the brothers, though (of all seven of them, he has the WORST poker face I swear). I may touch on those in another post because I need time to gather my thoughts on how it all connects there... Anyway, he's still my favorite and I'm going to try to see if there's any truth to this "you get a deeper connection if you stick to one brother" thing. Wish me luck.

Satan:

Okay, load your guns now because I think Satan is the real star of the show here. They're actually pulling way more than the "He's mad because he's seen like Lucifer" card. We're at a point where Satan doesn't even consider himself associated with the brothers AT ALL. That means something and has consequences on the story. He didn't even go with them to check on Beel, despite having enough fire power that he could have probably helped a lot.

Now before someone goes screaming at me that they've devolved him into comic relief, I'd first like to ask what did you think he was going to be? OG Satan told us himself that he used to feel nothing but anger. He's going to be pissed, irrational, and violent. He's Wrath.

What truly they're giving us under all of that is a look into a vulnerable guy who doesn't know anything about the world around him and is trying to pick it up on his own because his brothers can't (and maybe won't) teach him. They keep chaining him up (which I hate btw) and talk about him like he's a beast. But it's partially because they're such terrible communicators that he flies off the handle so often to begin with.

Satan is more alone than really anybody else is the Devildom. His brothers already have all this history together and memories shared during their time as angels, stuff he has no context for and could never experience himself. He's still an outcast among demons for his association with them, despite being a fully fledged demon in his own right, and he doesn't know why he has to be linked to them because he barely knows them anyway. He's taking baby steps to understand the world, but when he goes to his brothers to ask questions they lampshade him for even having clear thoughts. All they see him as is a roaring beast. This version of Satan is fascinating to me. How does he start here and end up the eloquent, emotionally-controlled bookworm with a planet's worth of connections? I gotta know!!

Asmodeus:

They FINALLY started giving Asmo his proper flowers! I still think it could have been more, but he's gotten way more depth than he had before. I know that Asmo part technically involved MC's input the least out of all of the brothers, but I think that was by design.

Asmo is a surprisingly introspective individual under his urge to perform. MC didn't have to give much input because he just didn't need as much. He knows himself very well (unlike some of the others). He's an emotionally intelligent guy who can sort out his own inner problems and remain empathetic enough to want to help his brothers in his own way. I wanted to hear more from this side of Asmo, honestly, but the game seems to make it clear that he's content with his spot of being the family's brightest smile. I hope it makes more appearances as we go on.

Beelzebub:

This one is tricky, because lesson 10 leaves off on a cliffhanger related to Beel... So I think Beel's feelings will have more consequences than the other brothers' on the story. Most of all that we see of Beel is, unfortunately, him being hungry or off being wholesome with Belphie but lesson 10 did give us some eye-openers regardless.

First, apparently if he flies off the handle, Beel is quite the challenge to handle. It takes Dia himself to restrain him, which is pretty insane for the sixthborn in the line-up. It's possible some outside magic is cranking up his power somehow, but we won't know until the next lessons are out.

Secondly, I find it very interesting that Beel's "heart-to-heart" moment with us is being saved for last... It was definitely the most surprising one of the secrets in the teasers (in my opinion). Beel and Belphie are glued to the hip and share everything together so for him to have a secret "not even Belphie" knows is pretty shocking. I hope it's not just that he saved Belphie instead of Lilith since we all already know that. It'd be a pretty cheap pay off to all this buildup... Not that I haven't been disappointed before or anything.

Belphegor:

Similar to Beel, Belphie doesn't get much attention until the end and it isn't much that we haven't heard before, unfortunately. You kind can't blame them, since plumbing out Belphie's inner trauma about the War was the entire climax of the first game. It's nothing we don't already know. That being said, I think there's some more interesting things that are being said about Belphie or left unsaid by the others that I find more fascinating to keep track of.

TLDR, I think there's some weird distancing going on between Belphie and the others. It doesn't seem super apparent, but Levi dropped some weird bombshells early on and I can't help but notice how he just never seems to be without Beel. Those two are close, yeah, but in this game they're practically a unit. I'm pretty sure Belphie is using Beel as a security blanket of sorts. He's also the ONLY one to mention Lilith in any great detail. Unsurprising, but it's worth noting that the others haven't really brought her up despite it (supposedly) starting the War.

Diavolo:

Somebody give this guy a vacation and a raise... So apparently, the brothers were cast down, the old King took one look at them and counted to seven, then conked out. Now our boy has to rule the kingdom. He's... the same really. As far as I can tell. You can really see how much he's taken to the brothers' antics though, which checks out in the other game too.

WAAAY more fascinating to me is apparently there's some kind of body called the House of Lords who think that Dia is too young for the job. What's the House of Lords?? Who are they? Are they like a council or advisory board...? Or is this a UK setup? Is there a Parliamentary board?? I dunno, could just be my Poli Sci talking but I'm now so lost on how the Devildom operates now...

Barbatos:

Oh my God, if there is any character I could live vicariously through, it was Barbs here. For whatever unnamed reason he is NOT having any of Solomon's shit right now and I'm living for it. Setting my delight aside, we don't get to see very much of him and what we do see doesn't really differ from the norm, which only makes his detest all the more shocking.

Through Barbs, we also see just how potent the power of the pacts can be when Solomon summons him and more or less forces him to do as he says. Nothing seems to stop him from retaliating after the fact, as he sent Solomon off who knows where, but seeing that kind of power wielded over a being who's almost unattainable to us is... Well. I feel bad for Asmo.

Simeon:

There's a lot to unpack with Simeon... and a lot of it is in the stuff that goes unsaid. First, I already found it strange that he didn't seem surprised to see Satan in the House. Or if he was, he didn't say it or bother introducing himself which is... telling for a guy like Simeon. He's back to being Luke's minder in front of demons, but I can't help but notice that he doesn't do much to counter Luke's tirades. He only indicates that it's impolite to say them, so he may still harbor the very same feelings.

Simeon and Lucifer have something of a heart to heart together that they never would in the OG title where Simeon admits his biggest regret. It isn't that he didn't follow Lucifer, as we might think, but that he doesn't feel like did enough to reach out to him before he made his decision. Lucifer dispells this, but I think it goes to show that Simeon stands behind his decision to stay and that it was the better option. Lucifer also confront Simeon on why he didn't take a high position (seraph) and instead settled for archangel. It's left open ended what his real motives for that would be, but I suspect that it has something to do with Simeon's troubling streak of going against the grain, even in subtle ways. Or he has too much anger about what happened to accept taking Lucifer's old position.

I found it interesting how easily these two seemed to talk about intimate topics together here where Lucifer barely even acknowledges Simeon's attempts to reach out in the OG story. I wonder what may have happened to sour their relationship so severely...?

Luke:

Luke the Racist Chihuahua returns!! Okay, I'm being a little mean but he's pretty much just self-righteous little kid the whole way through. I will admit, it is a little funny that the person who came up with the nickname was actually Lucifer. I think it's now retconned and confirmed that Luke and the brothers never knew each other before the Fall... though Luke seems to know OF their former selves in some capacity. I could be misinterpreting things though.

The Rat Bastard Solomon:

I swear to God this was me playing through the whole game tied to this guy.

He's lying. A lot. Constantly. And it pisses me off to no end. I was wondering why things he was saying and the stuff he was doing weren't lining up and OF COURSE it's because he's either working his own agenda or being outright deceitful. I hate him so much, y'all, you don't even know...

That aside, as an impartial observer Solomon is pulling a lot of work to support MC and you can TELL how down bad he is for them, which actually has significance for the plot I think. He's keeping them in the dark about something, but considering his feelings I say we can at least be charitable and assume it isn't to hurt them or cause them any suffering... intentionally. He's also as unscrupulous as ever, considering how he ordered a very angry Barbs around and more or less took advantage of a life or death situation to make a pact with Asmo.

So. At the end of the lessons, we're reintroduced to the mysterious Nightbringer. The character who actually sent us back in time at the start of the game. Yeah, it wasn't Barbatos... probably. At least not our reliable neighborhood butler anyway. They seem to be different entities but I THINK they might share some connection....

I have to wonder who disguised MC when they first arrived. The marketing made it seem like it would be Solomon but the marketing has been hit or miss on actual accuracy about the game we're seeing. If it was Solomon, then he had to have known where the MC was before he called. If it was Nightbringer then... well actually. We need to touch on that first.

Nightbringer:

Now, much of this is just me speculating so take things with a grain of salt. Nightbringer's name is blocked out, but it seems like it identified itself to us in the beginning before sending us to the past. It appears like it wants something from Solomon.... to fully corrupt him maybe? And it's using MC as leverage against him.

I suspect that all of the weird stuff that has been happening is tied to its meddling in some way, but to what end is unclear... Sending Levi and MC into TSL, tricking Asmo then trying to feed everyone to a spider, and, likely, whatever is going on with Beel. I can't tell if it's trying to push MC and the brother's closer together, or just making vaguely comical attempts at homicide by fictional characters, spider, and Gluttony incarnate.

The situation with Adam does give us a hint into its nature. It appears to be some kind of dark, trickster being that gives a person what they desire, but never the way they intended. A walking monkey's paw, if you will. Solomon says that Nightbringer made him what he is today, so perhaps he worked under it or is simply under the influence of one its "deals." Their relationship is adversarial, though. When they're speaking, they talk about the two supernatural sides, Angel and Demon, and Nightbringer seems to want to force Solomon to make a choice between them. Lose his humanity, maybe?

I'm not quite willing to say that Nightbringer is a demon just yet, at least not one of the ones we normally encounter. Something about it seems... older. More powerful than that. But we'll have to wait for more info.

My crackpot theory?

Solomon has made a deal with Nightbringer in order to go back in time and do... something. He's after something. Nightbringer agreed, but dragged MC along as collateral for Solomon to get it done within a certain amount of time or makes sure he honors his part of the bargin. Barbatos knows this, either because he is linked to in some way to Nightbringer or saw it happen in the doorway, and is disgusted by his actions but unable to speak about it due to the pact. Or, you know. That's our present Barbie also dragged along for the ride and he's pissed that he's been essentially hijacked and taken away from present Diavolo, but forbidden to speak about it.

#i may do ONE LAST analysis post #over my speculation #and just weird stuff I saw #but after that #it’s back to the normal content #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me nightbringer #obey me analysis #obey me nightbringer analysis #om spoilers #omn spoilers #obey me spoliers #obey me nb spoilers #obey me nighbringer spoilers

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panimoonchild · 20 days

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Life goes on for the world, but for Ukrainians, it never will be the same

Farewell to Taras Onyskiv. Azov. The son of a Hero is presented with the flag of Ukraine, the country for which his father died. Glory to Heroes🇺🇦

There is nothing fair about war. We have to remind ourselves of this too often, especially when young people die.

As today, when a medic who started his career in the ranks of the Hospitallers, 21-year-old Oleksandr Kucheriavenko, call sign "Kuzma", died while performing a mission.

Died saving others. According to the battalion's press service, Kucheryavenko had recently mobilized to the Defense Forces.

"A man with an incredibly keen sense of justice. A professional who has worked at all levels of pre-hospital care. An idealist who was always where he had to be. A hospitalist to whom more than one Ukrainian soldier owes his life. A man his mother and bride were proud of and loved. A comrade-in-arms whom we miss.

He lived, loved, and fought. He died saving the lives of others. We will never be able to comprehend this incredible loss for Ukraine, the Battalion, his fellow L20 crewmates, and family," - this is how Oleksandr's brothers and sisters-in-arms, who together evacuated wounded soldiers in 2023 and 2024 as part of the L20 Hospitaller crew, remember him. "Young, hot-tempered, he was one of those who found his calling early on. And he followed it to the end, despite fatigue, pain, and loss," emphasized Yana Zinkevych.

Oleksandr Kucheryavenko died on May 14, 2024, while providing aid to the wounded.

"The Hospitallers urge to support his family, who will have a hard time without their son and loved one.

Cards to help the family:

Mono - 4441 1144 2069 5403 Kucheryavenko Lesya (mother)

Mono - 4441 1111 3547 1013 "Privatbank - 4149 4390 4847 6521 Valeria (bride)

Second brother died in the war @ maryzalipa. You can support the family of the fallen defender here

I'll show you handsome Mykola, now I can. He's in Sweden on a psychological rehabilitation program for combat medics.

I opened a bank account (in my mother's monobank) for those who want to help our family.

The worst thing is that my mother is crying now and saying, "We asked you to stay, but we couldn't save one of them, even if you had." And, of course, she is right. Mykola had the right to demobilize after Pasha's death, but he didn't want to.

These losses cannot be accepted. It is indeed a black spring for Ukraine. Don't be indifferent. Make Russia pay. Please hear our cry out to the world, keep spreading our voices, and donate to our army and combat medics (savelife.in.ua, prytulafoundation.org, Serhii Sternenko, hospitallers.life, ptahy.vidchui.org, and u24.gov.ua).

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aurumacadicus · 7 months

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Oh boy (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)

Moving back to New York was one of the worst decisions Tony had ever made. He'd do it again in a heartbeat, of course. Supervillainous crimes always seemed to happen there and he wanted to help, so here he was in his tower that he shared with the Avengers, ready for the next call to action.

He just wished supervillains would take the winter off, so he could go someplace warm, like his Malibu house or South America or something. Hell, at this point he'd accept a trip to fucking Arizona. He'd fit right in there, he groused to himself, shaking hands curled around his coffee maker to try and soak up some of the warmth. All those old people.

Early onset arthritis. Tony eased one hand closed into a fist, wincing. He'd been diagnosed a decade ago after a particularly cold winter when he'd thought he'd had mono or something. "It'll get worse," his doctor had warned. Tony had staved off a lot of aches and pains by simply moving somewhere where the weather wouldn't affect his joints, and the pain was manageable with over the counter painkillers.

Here, in New York, with a blizzard blowing outside, Tony felt as if every degree the thermometer dropped was a twist of a knife in each and every joint, but especially his knees and hands. It was unfair. He had a state of the art air system, with his penthouse and workshop set to a perfect seventy-four degrees, but his body somehow knew it was sleeting outside and so was revolting.

He couldn't even pick up his coffee cup this morning. He'd needed to use his fucking cane to get out of bed.

The worst part was he could feel Steve's eyes on him like a physical touch. He'd never thought of the downside of sleeping with a super soldier until this morning, when he'd groaned as he'd forced himself to stand and found, to his horror, that Steve had forgone his early morning run to have a lie in with him. So Steve had seen the cane he'd needed to push himself to his feet, the extra padding on the handle to ease his grip, how Tony had come into the kitchen and grabbed a mug with extra wide handles on each side like a child's cup and then hadn't been able to fill it himself.

He wondered how long it would take Steve to decide his own body was a threat to the team and firmly but politely tell him to stop putting on the suit.

"Are you always in pain?" Steve asked quietly, finally coming over to pick up the coffee pot and pour him a cup.

"Worse in the cold weather," Tony said, trying not to sound too tetchy. There was no point in lying. Steve had watched him wrap both hands around the pot's handle and still not have the willpower to pick it up despite the pain. "Part of the reason I lived in Malibu for so long," he added, a thread of defeat weaving into his voice as Steve opened the fridge to get his creamer for him. He hadn't wanted to be in the cold even for a moment. Steve had obviously been able to tell.

Steve turned to face him, expression impassive. "So it's not just the arc reactor then."

"Quite honestly, I didn't even think about the reactor once this morning," Tony sighed dropping his eyes to his feet. He'd been too focused on the pain in his hands, how insurmountable the task of standing had seemed for a moment. Sure, his chest hurt, but it always hurt. The arthritis was sometimes worse than others. And today had been the first sleety-frozen-cold-to-your-bones day of the season.

Steve took a moment to stir his creamer in (the spoon was too small for him to grip, Tony lamented) before he turned, sliding the mug over to him. He watched Tony cradle the mug's handles in both hands before he carefully lifted it for a sip. "Are you in pain in the suit?" he finally asked.

Tony didn't do him the disservice of lying, instead carefully turning his eyes away as he answered, "My hands always hurt. The suit is one of the only times I don't feel bad, though. It's automated, so most of the movements I make are helped with the machinery. 's why you've seen me doing so much work with the gauntlets on lately." He hunched his shoulders, embarrassed. "It wasn't to protect me from soldering. It was so I could hold the solderer without dropping it."

"I see," Steve said solemnly. He stared at Tony's coffee cup for several long, silent seconds, then turned abruptly and left the room.

Probably to go tell Fury he needed to be removed from the team, Tony figured morosely.

He had just finished washing his cup when he heard the elevator open again. He turned, limping into the living room.

"Your boyfriend broke into the Xavier Institute to try and bribe Storm into changing the weather and Xavier is pissed," Natasha said flatly, Steve's ear held tightly in her hand.

"...Did. Did you run all the way there?" Tony sputtered, confused.

"I was on a mission," Steve grumbled, as if he had not just risked life and limb to ask one of the most powerful mutants in the world to ignore the natural weather patterns just because Tony's arthritis was flaring up. "She said no though. Told me to get you more omega-threes, whatever that means."

"Okay," Tony squeaked.

"I am more concerned with being on the mutants' bad side," Natasha began, scowling.

"Storm just thought I was cute," Steve said morosely, at the same time Tony answered, "Xavier won't come near me because my brain's loud and I bother him. I do that on purpose though."

"Oh my God," Natasha whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose, as Steve started googling foods he could make for Tony.

#ideas #stony #welcome to the suffer club i guess

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nil-nothing-nada · 1 month

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Mr. Qi Headcanons

(A lot of these are based around the idea that he's secretly super powerful and is restraining himself most of the time because that's one of my favorite traits in a character, hehehe. Also, I am a sucker for freaky, supernatural biological traits if you can't tell by my ocs...)

"Immortal"

Agender (Any Pronouns)

Bisexual

Full name is Adam Qi. (First name is by his mother, last name is inherited from his father)

Uses any pronouns, but if often referred to as a male since that's what he's used to. He's all around pretty relaxed about his gender.

Doesn't like his first name because it reminds him of his past humanity, so he never tells it to anyone. He prefers that people refer to him as Mr. Qi or just Qi.

Frighteningly good at masking and pushing down his emotions so that all he displays is cool confidence. Even in the worst situations he seems incredibly diplomatic and slow to anger, though if you somehow happen to see past this facade, you can tell that he is extremely volatile and barely able to restrain himself. Only a few specific things will ever cause the mask to slip, but when it does, he'll explode with uncharacteristically violent anger. Cheating at any of his games especially pisses him off, and he has "disposed" of the worst offenders.

Tries to keep a smile on his face all the time to better hide his intentions. (No, this isn't a reference to Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, sadly.)

Was human at one point, but is completely unwilling to talk about it. He becomes aggressive if he's pushed too much on this topic.

Around the time he turned 19, Mr. Qi was unwillingly possessed by a sort of "will of the universe" that has been jumping from person to person for eons. At first he was terrified, but since then he has grown to enjoy the power he received from it, despite the loss of his humanity.

Mr. Qi himself is only 32 years old, but he has memories and knowledge from countless centuries of lifetimes so he's often referred to as immortal.

The universe's will is always searching for its next heir, and Mr. Qi believes the farmer could be a perfect fit if they are given the right encouragement.

His clothes are made of an enchanted fabric that slightly shimmers like the night sky. It's also quite light and comfortable, as he is picky about the textures of the clothes he wears.

Very sensitive to touch, and hates when people touch him without permission.

Geiger counters and other sensors for hazardous materials go off around him, detecting him as the element polonium or the chemical hydrogen cyanide. Despite this, he is not actually harmful to be around in any way.

If he's angry he creates a static-y aura that can cause unprotected machinery around him to glitch and short circuit. He can also use this power on command, but he has to focus on it. (For visual reference, think about how Mono from Little Nightmares II tunes into the TV transmissions.)

Is fully immune to radiation. Additionally, all toxins have minimal effect on him and cannot kill him, although they might make him sick for a bit.

Regenerates from any damage immediately. He still feels pain like a normal person, but he usually just pushes past it.

He can't really control his strength, but he's usually only about as strong as a decently-exercised human. However, he becomes much stronger when he's truly angry, to the point where he'll clench his fists hard enough to break his bones. This power usually only lasts for very short bursts, though.

Is inhumanly agile and very quiet when moving. He frequently sneaks up on people unintentionally and startles them.

Has pointed, shark-like teeth and small, sharp claws. His claws are always partially out, but he can extend them further if he needs to.

Has a split tongue that is a bit longer than a normal human's.

His skin glitters and looks slightly iridescent in certain lights.

His eyes are impossibly dark, yet seem to sparkle like they contain small universes. Looking in them without preparation causes immense cosmic dread in the viewer, so he wears his reflective sunglasses to cover them.

His blood is dark like space and has a slimy texture.

Growls when he's angry and purrs when he's content. However, he hates purring around other people because it ruins his mysterious, threatening persona. (If I headcanon that someone growls threateningly I gotta make it so they purr too. Sorry, I don't make the rules...)

#mr qi #mr qi sdv #stardew valley headcanons #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley mr qi #stardew valley #mr. qi #sdv #sdv headcanons #sdv fanfic

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demodraws0606 · 11 months

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Why I am a die-hard believer that Whit is the mastermind

You know I was going to make an entire structured theory thread about it but Tumblr decided to be a little bitch and remove all my writing so I'll just kinda throw a messy list of evidence here.

Notice how Veronika's summary of Forever Dead is suspiciously similar to the secret dialogue

Notice how the main character's gender is pointed out

It's also interesting how the mysterious dialogue in the beginning who seems to be related to the hidden text (the idea of not being able to remember anymore link those two) seem to often mention the fact that they're grieving the loss of someone.

That someone most likely being Mai who seems to have suffered a tragic fate due to Teruko, which can explain the mastermind's hatred of her.

Guess who's character is linked with grief ?

(I know this is most likely about his mother but there is nothing contradicting the fact that he could be idolizing multiple dead people)

Wow it's interesting how these secret texts about Mai seem to be really idolizing her.

We can also add how the person who wrote the note to Xavier is very clearly the mastermind and how Whit's tool is a Stationery (it's spelled Stationary but i believe its a typo) which is commonly known as writing and other office materials.

Which includes paper, pens, ink, highlighters and other tools for writing

It's even made worse by the fact that the note seems to be written by a specific type of blue pen that we haven't seen anywhere in the series.

And even worse is that Charles, who knows Whit's handwriting, couldn't point out the writing is his as he couldn't access the scene of the crime due to his trauma therefore he couldn't see the note's handwriting.

It's really really interesting how the hidden text points out how they can predict everyone's behavior in a killing game and Whit's intuition is highlighted three times in this game.

Another suspicious thing is how the mastermind of the game talks about how they basically can predict anything that can happen. It's almost like how Whit jokingly predicted Arei's death.

Along with how Whit is the only one who has directly talked to the audience (him showing the papers) or how he's nudged the killing game into more interesting directions/avoided it from going off the rails.

Other exemples would be him defending Teruko/Charles in the first trial, him not revealing David's secret until the last minute (as well as the note that suspiciously pointed to Eden), him not trying to help with the fight in episode 4, him insisting that Charles and Teruko talk about their family life (aka nudging them to talk about their backstory which would entertain the audience) and other stuff i don't feel like adding.

It's also important add that Mono-TV and Whit also have similar personalities. They both don't take anything seriously and make constant jokes about the killing games, Mono-TV and Whit also act constantly incompetent and like they're a lot dumber than they actually are.

Another thing is that it's interesting how Whit opens up about his secret so easily, even though almost everyone's secrets are something they're at least flustered about and at worst completely ashamed by. If he was the mastermind, it would make sense that his secret wouldn't be anything that could ruin his character and that he could just admit easily.

Also another point, the mastermind character talks about a time when they cared so much about people and how it hurt them so much when they died. Which you can see that caring nature shine through a lot with Whit as it's possible that Whit's personnality is not actually a lie but more so a reflection of how he used to be before he went through all this alledged horrible stuff.

We can also note how the mastermind has to be one of the students and how there is an extreme likelyhood that Mono-TV saying it isn't bait because it's not actually told to the students but to us. Why would Mono-TV tell it to us and not to the students if it was a lie meant to make the game more interesting, wouldn't it be more entertaining to reveal to the students of a fake mastermind among them to get them to kill one another more easily. It's why I have no doubt someone in this class has to be the mastermind behind it.

Mono-TV also seems to not have any contact with the person controlling him which would make sense if it was someone in the killing game as they would have a hard time communicating without being caught.

(It's a stretch but it would make more sense if Mono-TV didn't know if the mastermind was one of them as if the mastermind was behind the scenes there would be no reason why it wouldn't interact with Mono-TV, although take this with a grain of salt as he could be lying)

And just really there aren't a lot of other options for the mastermind that would be compelling unless they introduce a mysterious new character.

It could be the mysterious red haired girl but everything hints towards her being dead or hurt and it being the cause for the killing game rather than her being the one behind it. There is some decent evidence that it could be her but I genuinely don't think so considering it again feels a little too obvious and doesn't work with how the story/secrets present her.

(It's just not very compelling to make your ONE mystery character the mastermind and again it would be weird considering Mono-TV telling the audience the mastermind is in cast doesn't make sense logically as he would have no reason to try and trick the audience)

Not a lot of characters in this cast can be really put into the mastermind category as they are either too obvious (teruko, veronika) or too farfetched (eden, hu etc...).

I honestly am a die hard believer that Whit is the mastermind however what's interesting to me is not If Whit is the mastermind but more so the Why ?

Which honestly might be a question for another time...

But yeah this is why I 95 pourcent believe Whit is the mastermind

If anyone has anything more to add I would be really interesting in seeing what other people have in terms of evidence.

#whit young #whit #danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt theory #drdt whit #This is so messy I apologize but I was getting impatient as I had like started writing an actually well structured essay and tumblr said #“lol no”#I'm so fucking insane for this theory you people have no idea #it lives in the unhinged part of my brain

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

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Sir, really random question, but Wich one of your Yans would have the worst reaction to reader dying?

All of them would be pretty harsh, but let's Speedrun some of the worst. (Heavy Angst. Implied cannibalism for Liu. Implied suicide for a few others)

Marshmallow Milk would fall into such a deep state of denial they would go to sleep and never wake up again, living on with you forever in their dreams

If you were killed rather than dying of natural causes, Mono would hunt for your killer and conduct inhumane experiments on them to try and bring you back. It's likely the ai/android they've been working on for when your time came is incomplete and they'll never have the chance to perfect it. The memories you shared, the notes you leave behind. It's not enough. The finished product always wrong - imperfect. A failure....just like them.

Liu either loses what little grasp of humanity they have, or steals your face and lives out their life as you. If you have a bucket list they'll do everything in the order they're listed and importance. They eat the foods you liked - forcing themselves to replace certain ingredients with human meat when their stomach can't handle the human meals anymore. Those are the nights they remember who they really are. When they remember you're gone. Liu would preserve your body for as long as they could, but at the first sign of decay they have one final meal with you. Their lack of emotions lead to them devouring you whole, but for some reason - they could never eat your heart.

As with Mono, Selene would be unable to cope if your death was not by natural cause. She blames herself the entire time - ghosts of her past and present haunting her for as long as she remained on this earth - without you.

With Daina, you'd likely die at the hands of some slasher while making your escape. She's the final girl, she'll survive, but her heart won't. Daina kills your attacker in the gorest bloodbath possible and when all's said and done she'll turn their machete on herself - waking up in the hospital a week later as the sole survivor.

V's only had one tragic loss in his life that he would count. His grandfather died on his birthday. The aunt that always sent him gifts died on her way to finally visit that faithful holiday. He was bummed, sure - but neither of those deaths mattered to him. Nobody's did, til the death of his beloved childhood friend and pet... and now you. Just like when his cat died right in his arms, V shuts down. He didn't cry then, and he won't now; but his eyes sting everytime he blinks.

He can't look at his computer. He'll think back on all the days you asked him to get off and go for a walk or decide on dinner with you instead. He can't sleep in his bed. He'll remember the first night you held him and he told you he... he... Oh, God. He never told you that did he? Not as often as he should've. Idiot. V sleeps the days away on the floor, clinging onto the only thing of yours that doesn't make him want to put a gun to his head. Your pillow. Even K drops her attitude and tries to get him to eat or even sit up for a while, but he never does.

The Rubik Cube Yans would never know peace again. If you're still breathing they'll probably be able to save you, but either way they blame each other and it's complete hell. White has to front as Blue is too emotionally shattered to go near you without crying so hard they get a headache, Yellow has used up all the bandages in their home and keeps ordering more, Red has probably cause a lot of property damage, and Green aiming to lock you in their basement never to see the light of day again

Pin hates themselves even more. They hate they weren't born a healer or even with the power of creation so they can't bring you back. Pin preserves your body as well and by the mercy of their creator their abilities are able to keep you well for centuries. They stop making dolls of their own and only make them in their imagine. They throw on the body they first met you in and have tea parties and pretend weddings with your dolls. They're never seen outside this body again as behind that smiling face is nothing but a repulsive, pathetic, cowardice creature that couldn't do the simplest job and keep their love safe

Amyas straight up just dies...or becomes an heartless abomination bent on destroying the very idea of love as humans know it... Or an incubus.

Ventri would never be able to detect themselves from the puppet they made of you, and only uses your voice from then on. Overtime their impression loses it's accuracy and the day it loses every hint of you is the day they never speak again

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere #yandere oc #yandere blurb #male yandere #female yandere #yandere angst

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lover-of-mine · 2 months

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okay so I had a really terrible thought and I’ve been following you for a while and I wanted to hear your thoughts (maybe i’m just in a place of doubt rn) BUT

since they’re basically writing the episodes as they go, and are seeing fans reactions (and possibly taking them into consideration as they write), do you think if they see such a positive reaction to buck/tommy, they’ll make him more long term (and possibly endgame)…? again, I could be overthinking it but I’ve been seeing a tON of buck tommy stuff and idk if they’re going to consider that when they write the upcoming episodes for the rest of the season…like buck/tommy is cute ig don’t get me wrong bc we see bisexual buck and him enjoy his first male relationship and like i’m so proud, but…i’m an eddie-girl and buddie has always been my endgame

Okay, hi, ngl, I had this exact thought too when Tim kept insisting there's no plan. But the thing is, I don't believe him. I believe he doesn't have the full plot locked and loaded, but I doubt he doesn't have any idea where the story is gonna take him. Personally, I doubt that a few weeks of excitement over Buck being bi will be louder than 5 years of people BEGGING for buddie to happen. Buck and Eddie have a compelling relationship that's been cultivated for YEARS. And, look, far from me to make Buck's bisexuality about Eddie, but making a character who's HEAVILY shipped with another man for years queer in season 7 while having no plan on following through with the love story they've been building for 6 seasons would be dumb. Buck with a new guy and Eddie doubling down on being straight and ending up with some random woman is the worst case scenario here. This fandom is weird in the way that most of it is mono shipping. It's Buck and Eddie together or nothing. So they would piss off the homophobes, who are already pissed, and a solid amount of the people who have been following buddie for years and that's bad for business. They have the power to have a ridiculously compelling queer love story that's built on a foundation that's been there for 6 seasons. Buck and Eddie getting together could be EPIC. And they made the move to make Buck queer. They didn't have to. I love that Buck is getting a queer storyline, but if we are going there with Buck, what's actually stopping them from going there with Eddie? I don't see how you can have one of them being queer and not go there just because people are excited that Buck is bi. Tim can't say it's gonna go there. That would be a spoiler. A huge spoiler. But narratively speaking, or from a business perspective, Buck being bi has to mean buddie getting together. Because that's what people have been wanting from them. And honestly, if they wanted to play Tommy as having any chance of being Buck's endgame, he wouldn't have so many parallels with Taylor. The TK of it all, the helicopter of it all, the kiss that happens because Eddie is injured, Buck is even wearing a shirt that looks like the one he's wearing when Taylor comes back, like, seriously, what the fuck? And that's not going into the symbolism they have to know is there on the way the loft itself is a symbol of romantic doom, because Buck got it in a relationship that instantly Ended and the 2 times he started something there it went up in flames, so like 🤨🤔 I'm curious to see where it's going, but, personally, don't see them actually lasting the rest of the show. At least that's what I'm telling myself to calm down when I panic and trip into the bad place lol

#i wanna trust ryan wouldn't be acting the way he was if what happened was just eddie being a Great Best Friend ™️ about Buck being by #but thats just my current line of thinking #i did lose hope yesterday for a while but im back in a better place #911 #911 speculation #911 spoilers #i really need a tag for asks #i-love-tacoss

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fiercynn · 7 months

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palestinian poets: george abraham

george abraham (they/he/هو) is a palestinian american poet, performance arist, and writer who was born and raised on unceded timucuan lands (jacksonville, FL). their debut poetry collection birthright (button poetry) won the arab american book award and the big other book award, and was a lambda literary award finalist. he is also the author of the chapbooks al youm and the specimen's apology. their collaborations include co-editing a palestinian poetry anthology with noor hindi (haymarket books, 2025), and a performance art project titled EVE with fargo nissim tbakhi.

they are a recipient of fellowships from kundiman, the arab american national museum, the boston foundation, the national performance network, and the MAP fund, and more. their writing has appeared in poetry magazine, the nation, the american poetry review, guernica, the baffler, the paris review, mizna, and many other journals and anthologies. a graduate of swarthmore college and harvard university, they have taught at emerson college, and are currently a litowitz MFA+MA candidate in poetry at northwestern university. he is also currently executive editor of the whiting award-winning journal mizna.

you can follow them on twitter @IntifadaBatata.

IF YOU READ JUST ONE POEM BY GEORGE ABRAHAM, MAKE IT THIS ONE

OTHER POEMS ONLINE THAT I LOVE BY GEORGE ABRAHAM

Field Notes on Terror & Beginnings at poetry daily

Love Letter to the Eve of the End of the World at the margins

Of Nation, at rusted radishes: beirut literary and art journal

Searching for a Palestinian After at the nation

Stage Directions for a Representation in which Eve and Adam travel through their first checkpoint at mosaic theatre company

the ghosts of the dead sea are rising at the drift

ars poetica in which every pronoun is FREE PALESTINE at the margins

“from UNIVERSAL THEORY IN WHICH EVERY FAILED ATTEMPT AT LOVE IS A SOULMATE FROM AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE” at fiyah literary magazine

Ode to My Swollen, Mono-Infected Spleen at brooklyn poets

The Olive Tree Speaks of Deforestation to my body at crabfat magazine

arab/queer vs. Imaginary at shade literary arts

self-portrait with second-degree sunburn at

[ summer / winter ] is the worst time to lose a [ country / lover ] at wildness

maqam of moonlight, for the wandering at the rumpus

against perturbation at the scores

apology, at cordite poetry review

i also adore this 2021 essay of abraham's at guernica magazine called teaching poetry in the palestinian apocalypse: towards a collective, lyric "i".

#poetry #george abraham #free palestine #palestinian poets series

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chorusofkhonshu · 8 months

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Theory of Numbers in LN

I guess I will explain myself slightly. While researching the the podcast, it got me wondering. Noone has had a part of herself in Nowhere, a part that hides secrets from herself, something that when in the waking world she says she feels a part of her is missing. So I wondered what part of her is missing. Not her body, not her mind, not her soul. The Ferryman needs her to accept Nowhere so that all of her can go thru the Halfway Point. If it was her soul crossing over then there'd be no need for her to physically cross. So I looked for a fourth option. And surprise surprise there was a fourth option. A theory posed by a rather famous psychologist who was alive during the time period that I estimated TSON to take place during. His theory was basically the same as Otto's professor, all of them in the same line of work. And like Otto's professor, his theory was dismissed because it leaned to far into mystics. If you look hard enough you can find this. The fourth option presented was called The Shadow. There are two shadows, the personal shadow and the collective shadow. I may talk about personal shadows in a later post, but lets skip to the collective shadow. The collective shadow is the dark side of humanity, all coming together to form something almost like a place. He called this place, this hypothetical world of the worst of humanity Unus Mundus which translates to One World, a place where past, present and future all meet. A shadow, a thing that when asked if it exists, the answer is no, but you can see your shadow! Its something that exists and yet doesn't. And how is Nowhere described by Noone? Below is a description of the Collective Shadow and world of LN before the podcast.

After that brief introduction I can finally move on to the numbers! The collective shadow was something that you could dream into, is what is stated briefly. Now in these dreams, time has no meaning in the collective shadow is what the old professor said, and in Nowhere time has no meaning either. The clocks in all games are all wrong, they are either going faster, slower or the numbers aren't even in the correct order. Go ahead and look. The clock in episode 1 of TSON, the numbers are all wrong. So then........whats the use of numbers? Numbers in dreams, have symbolism attached to them. Each number having an Archetype attached to it. I am not going to go thru them all but I'll go thru 2 of them for now. Number 1 Archetype- Known as the Child, the Divine or the Innocent. This is Mono, whose name can mean 1. One who has trouble willingly growing up, who is innocent not in the fact that they are good, but that they are naive, with child like tendencies. How does the Divine aspect come in?

Mono developed the ability to somehow tune the Transmission, that is his "Divine" nature of his Archetype. Moving on to Six Number 6 Archetype- The Rebel

Does this not perfectly encapsulate Six? Her description is

She's split in two, goes to the Maw, kills the Lady, takes her power, heals herself. She overturned things without powers, now that she has some, whose gonna stop her? She is a rebel. I wanna go on more but its sleepy time for me. These late night insanity sessions be doing numbers on me. If you interested look of Jester and Archetype number 9, or number 3 and 5. Pls let me know if im crazy.

#little nightmares #the sounds of nightmares #little nightmares theory #ln3 #noone #tson #tson noone #tson otto #mono #six little nightmares #little nightmares six #ln six #six #six ln #little nightmare mono #ln mono #mono ln #little nightmares mono

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evelili · 2 months

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Hi! Thought I'd ask, do you maybe have any humanoid Raritwi fanfic recommendations? I've been rotating them in my head since reading your Halloween work but I'm having a bit of a hard time navigating the site

first of all, tysm for reading love languages! im glad that you liked it :D

as for your question abt recs, i took a quick glance through my favs and can say that i very much love sleepless knights by r5h and your own worst enemy by monochromatic (though this one is more a crossover w horse verse via eqg than strictly human). as well, if you're alright with more mature content (nothing explicit), crimson lips by monochromatic was basically a formative experience for my brain.

actually, mono is basically the person who pushed raritwi into more of a popular ship with the banger enchanted library (horses), so i highly recommend checking out her works even if they're not human, there's a lot of great raritwi there :>

i havent updated my favs much since my mlp hiatus in 2018 tho, so if anyone else has recs, pls feel free to drop a comment!

#lili talking #mlp fanfic

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ask-team-misfit · 18 days

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@ask-the-lywelles Vahni@Lief

Vahni: "Well it would just so happen thst I do enjoy learning about history, compared to my family of course."

She sat down, still gazing into his soul, awaiting for his response.

[ @ask-the-lywelles ]

Lief: “Well, alright… but you’re gonna learn quick why I hate talking about it.”

He sat up a little more while examining Vahni’s expression, bracing himself for what he was about to say.

It would be several moments before he began speaking.

Lief: “Imagine it like this. Alright?”

[ ID: A sequence of two grayscale drawings. The first is a gradient fading to white from black towards the bottom. The second depicts Lief as his pre-evolution, observing a leaf fall. End ID ]

Lief: “Imagine being young, and impressionable… and naive. Your life is quite a bit different from other Pokemon. Maybe the worst you ever hear is that it’s strange to still live in the woods.”

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief chasing this leaf, now zoomed out to show his mother following him from behind. She is a hybrid of Flareon and Vespiquen, having six limbs and small insect wings. End ID ]

Lief: “But it’s your life, right? You’re happy and well-fed, as well-fed as a feral can get, and you have your family. You have mama.”

He paused. His wistful tone upon describing the above quickly changed.

Lief: “Now imagine that you need help with something. Very badly. Very… very badly.”

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief and his mother similar to the previous image, but his mother is standing in front with a protective stance. Lief is somewhat cowering behind her; and in front of them both is a crudely drawn blob with many eyes. End ID ]

Lief: “You’re told to go get help.”

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief alone, running away towards the right. End ID ]

Lief: “So you go to the townies. The townies, with all of their wealth and resources.”

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief that has him facing the viewer, bawling and kneeling. Faded text in the background repeats, "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE". End ID ]

Lief: “You go up to them. You beg at their feet. And what do they do?”

[ ID: Some text on a black background that says, "*SMACK*". End ID ]

Lief: “They ignore you.”

Another, shorter pause.

His voice was considerably lower now. Shaky with anger.

Lief: “It ends the same way. Every single one of them. To them, you were just some annoying runt that showed up once in a while and kept their kids busy. To them, you were in no need of their help.”

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief, zoomed out and showing him lying on his side, still crying. His wings are somewhat bent, and he appears to be bruised. The background fades to black towards the bottom. End ID ]

Lief: “They don’t believe you. Refuse to. You’re expected to help yourself.”

[ ID: A series of text on a black background, in which there's more faded text. It reads as follows: ‘what are you talking about?’ ‘no, I don’t want to play right now.’ ‘where’s your mom?’ ‘ferals these days. can’t keep one of their own in line.’ ‘go away. I’m too busy for your practical jokes.’ ‘where’s your mom?’ ‘get off me! stinking brat!’ ‘that’s nice, but I have work to do…’ ‘are you here by yourself?’ ‘your mom is strong. she can handle it.’ ‘it’s late. you should get home, to your mother.’ ‘where’s your mom?’ ‘look, I have nothing to give…’ ‘for the last time, I want no part of your gods damn games!’ ‘this is why I hate feral children.’ End ID ]

Lief: “But how could you, when it’s their fault it came to this?”

He was looking right at Vahni still. His glaring eyes met with her’s. His entire body was tense, rigid.

Lief: “What you call ‘treasure hunting’ is them paying thieves to take what little we have. What little we need to survive out here. Then when they’re done having their little fun with those precious piles of rubble? They build on top of it. Force out whoever doesn’t conform to their way of living.”

[ ID: A grayscale drawing of Lief, a hybrid of Sylveon and Ribombee, with a mono-color background. He is shown from the neck up, with his face slightly angled away from the viewer towards the left. He appears annoyed. Both eyes are narrowed. His mouth is open, as if in the midst of a tangent. End ID ]

Lief: “After all. We ferals are just in the way of what they actually want.”

#plot #answered #ask-the-lywelles #Vahni Umbreon #Lief Simbobeon #mod art #other's art #pokemon ask blog #pokeaskblog #pokeask #pokemon ask #pokemon #ask blog #pokemon askblog #pokeask blog

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misrepresentedmorallygrey · 3 months

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PROPAGANDA

Six

Once again (just like with every morally grey character I think) there's a war between "she's a monster" and "she's an angel". Six, as a character, is very cool because there's no dialogue or anything in the Little Nightmares games, and a lot of things that are just not showed. The whole point is everyone can have their own interpretations and theories. But Six is just so disrespected by the fandom ! On one side, it's "she's a monster, we hate her, she's selfish and uses people to get what she wants !" On the other side it's "she's a kid and my favorite character so by default she can't be a bad person, she's actually a sweet and pure angel !" None of them are right. For the first ones... Six isn't that much of a monster. And I'm gonna say it : yes, she is a literal kid. That doesn't mean she can't be bad, but she thinks like a kid. She probably cared for Mono before she betrayed him – we can see her trying to help him when he was in the TVs. She probably has a reason why she betrayed him. There's a lot of different theories on that and none of them is more valid than the others because again you're meant to have your own interpretation, so I won't tell any of the popular theories here. You can think she did it for selfish reasons. That doesn't mean she's a literal monster, and that doesn't mean the people who don't think it was selfish are mischaracterizing her. For the second ones... I don't even know what to tell you. If there's one CLEAR thing in these games, it's that Six is morally grey and could do something scary at any moment. As the player you're literally MEANT to be scared of her and what she could do. In the first game you are meant to slowly realize her hunger isn't human. You can also see how she doesn't try to help any of the kids trapped here, she's just helping herself. In the second one she does scary thing all along the game to keep you scared that she could kill and eat Mono at any time, only for her to betray him in the worst way possible at the end. We don't know her reasons but she still did it. Six is a morally grey character. She's just a kid trying to survive in a world full of monsters. She's also full of darkness, acts like a creep and eats literal people. You can't say she's "just a monster", the same way you can't say she's "a little angel who did nothing wrong".

The whole thing with Little Nightmares is that the world is terrifying and horrible. It is eat or be eaten in the most literal sense. Six does what she has to to survive. Has she done some bad things? Yes. Was it her fault? …Debatable. But the fandom treats this CHILD like she’s the worst person to ever exist. Like, she’s not even ten years old. She’s a survivor. Mono did plenty of questionable things too, but I’ve never seen anyone hate on him.

Daisy Tonner

A lot of people just. Write her character off, especially in the earlier seasons, as acab. She did bad things as a cop while she was being taken over by an evil eldritch entity, but everyone just kinda focuses more on the do part than yk. Evil eldritch entity. Now I ain’t gonna justify her actions, she was indeed kinda a bitch, but she was also under the influence of the Hunt, and been for I think decades at the point where we first meet her. Afterwards she ofc got her redemption arc, but everyone (both in canon, but also fandom) treated her like shit even after that, when she was trying to be better. Idk, maybe I’m a daisy simp, maybe IM the one viewing the character wrong, idk. I’m just mad at everyone writing everything off as her being a cop when it was also A PRIMORDIAL GOD OF FEAR THAT WAS PRACTICALLY POSSESSING HER

Girl is a brutal cop who murders people. She is also someone who resisted the absolute pull of the Fears in TMA and didn’t hunt anyone for multiple weeks, something the main character couldn’t even do. She’s incredible bc she is literally like. Grey grey. She’s a fascinating character and cannot be good nor bad depending on how you interpret end actions vs intent.

She did try to slit the main character's throat, and she did do a ton of police brutality- BUT she got a redemtion arc. She tried to better herself. She gave herself over to a evil fear god in order to protect her friends. Her arc is about how it's never too late to try to be better, and about how you can accidently drag others down with you and about how sometimes we become monsters when we want to be better. And I swear- everyone either thinks she's evil or she's good. No inbetween.

#misrepresented morally grey #round 1 #bracket d #little nightmares #six little nightmares #the magnus archives #alice tonner #daisy tonner

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