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hurricane-heatt · 3 months

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for the trope mash up, may i request summer camp au + accidentally married + martian? :P

hello!!!! you’ll have to forgive me for both the time this took and the brief accidentally married bit but it made it in there and it’s sweet i think!!!! i hope u like it :)

seb and mark as camp leaders! they both have their own group of about ten kids and their groups go together on adventure walks in the mornings (an hour for the kids to get all their energy out and then do nice quiet things in the afternoon). the groups joining together is not by choice.

it’s a problem because the two group leaders bicker. a lot. the camp is very underfunded so a lot of the equipment is missing and/or on its last legs. they mostly argue about silly things like Well you had the stove last night so can my kids have it tonight? But we’re toasting marshmallows! You toasted marshmallows last night!!!! no one seems to think why don’t we just collaborate and share a stove. (one of the other camp leaders will sigh and push their own stove towards whoever’s moaning abt it)

they are also deeply competitive on behalf of their camps. children are children and love games and winning and beating each other and seb and mark sort of might maybe use this as an excuse to wind each other up. the whole ethos of the campus is Be Kind Everyone’s a Winner Teamwork all that rubbish. seb and mark, upon hearing there’s a egg and spoon race across the wider camp, are strategically planning who is best suited to compete for their team.

it always comes down to Webber vs Vettel and the kids love it because children are desperate to shout and cheer at anything that moves, especially when the thing moving is their friends and in the background their camp leaders are elbowing each other when one wins and the other loses

anyway. one day they’ve gone on an adventure walk. afterwards one of the kids comes and taps mark and has a very sad little look on her face. she’s lost her camp backpack and it had all of her stuff in it (the way kids bring every item they own everywhere). she’s all teary eyed and nervous and so mark says don’t worry, i’ll go and look for it. can’t have sprouted legs and walked off!

but then mark realises the girl is from seb’s group. so he goes and tells seb and he’s like Oh we’d better go look for it. mark is like Um. We? seb shrugs. says Well she told you so. You have to come with me. It’s only fair actually. Anyway, two sets of eyes are better than one!

(lots of flimsy excuses to spend time with mark, who he’s had a little bit of a crush on since seb started working here last summer, that’s irrelevant, though.)

cue plenty of huffing. but off they go! into the woods! they follow the same trail they did in the morning, up the hill, through the twisty trees, as they’re colloquially named for the way they wrap around both the sky and themselves, the huge and constantly muddy puddle on a concrete path that the kids delighted in getting their boots in.

and it’s a nice day so maybe they take a little longer on the way, while also peering around bushes in case any passersby have been kind enough to drop the backpack in for safekeeping.

maybe seb takes a little longer in the dirt, checking behind trees because when he turns around mark’s got one hand on his hips, squinting into the sun with the other hand covering his eyes and he’s actually really toned and his arms are very nice. he’s noticed before obviously. how could he not. he’s just a guy. but this is different, especially when mark turns to look at him and seb feels particularly caught out when he grins knowingly. Shut up. Keep walking.

and maybe mark lingers a bit behind seb as he runs ahead thinking he sees a glimpse of red on a fence post. maybe he watches because seb’s hair turns golden in the light like a halo and it’s very beautiful. like art, mark thinks, and he wishes he had a camera. or maybe he can keep it all to himself in his memory

seb turns back around when he sees it isn’t the backpack, just a bit of a torn fabric from a tent, and mark sighs but they’re nearly at the end of the trail (a big loop around the campsite) so Surely it must be ahead!

the last part of the walk is always the children’s favourite, a big hill leading into a sunken in field, a valley of sorts. there’s a footpath worn out by adventurers over the years but they all, everytime, get on their stomachs and roll down on the grassy part, tufts sticking to their shirts as they land at the bottom, giggling. seb looks as if he’s itching to recreate it but they carry on down the grown up route.

something catches their eye in the middle of the field, and there sits a bright red backpack, looking very lost. they run towards it as if it’s some precious artefact and they cheer and hug each other and then laugh it off nervously. because they’re stupid.

the running wore them out, though, so they sit on the grass. the kids are fine with the other camp leaders, probably being better behaved than they do for mark and seb themselves, so they’ll take a break. seb notices (after he stops looking at mark who’s leant back on his forearms and looking sweaty and handsome) that there’s little braided stems littered in the grass.

Oh, she must’ve got distracted when making the daisy chains! Easy to do, replies mark with a smile, eyes shut as he soaks up the sun

seb picks one chain up, inspects the way they’re intricately laced into one another, finds some half finished ones too. he gets to work piercing a hole through the stem with his nail, threading it through, over and over until it fits neatly on his wrist. flimsy and delicate but he grins and shows it to mark

mark will smile and say, Can I have one? and seb would say Make one yourself you lazy arse, and then mark would pull himself upright and scramble to launch at seb, who laughs loud and bold like it’s so easy to do. he fights because because he’s no quitter and the smell of grass and the sun beating down on them mixes in their lungs and Oh, look, you’ve snapped it!

seb frowns but stops when he realises he’s now on top of mark, was pinning his wrists to the dirt when he notices his bracelet has broken and fallen off. mark doesn’t say a word, just breathes and looks straight up at seb. they both breathe like that for a while, seb in two minds, a dozen fleeting thoughts while mark looks so calm. how can this be so easy? how can it be so hard?

Pull me up, then. Sure, sorry. S’alright. I’ll make you another bracelet.

so then they sit quietly against each other, knees touching, and occasionally mark let’s out an exasperated sigh as he splits the stem (big hands, clumsy) but eventually there’s a semblance of a bracelet for the both of them. they gather up some of the smaller rings too, to bring them back for the kids. finally, seb hoists the little red backpack over one shoulder, and they make their way back to the camp

it’s late afternoon so they’re getting ready for dinner around the fire, and some of the kids are comforting the little girl who lost her backpack. It’ll be okay! They’ll find it! Mark found my hat, remember! Yeah, and Seb found my pencil case!

when seb and mark return it’s as if they’ve brought home a golden trophy. the girl hugs seb’s knees and they both scruff her hair and say Be careful next time!

the kids crowd around them, hailed as heroes, and one points to their arms and gasps, turning to their friend and giggling. then they’re all in fits of laughter.

What’s so funny? says seb, putting a chain that’s far too long on his hair. everyone keeps laughing and mark looks at him like he’s an angel, with his crown of daisies atop his head. You’re married now! says one of the little boys, and he smacks his hand over his mouth as if he spoke without thinking.

How does that work, then! mark laughs but doesn’t look at sebastian, who’s looking at him with pink cheeks and a wide smile. Because you both have the bracelets on! It’s fairy magic, it means you’re married forever! one girl chimes in, her tone of voice as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

I can’t be stuck with him forever! and all the children cackle with laughter and run back to their seats around the campfire as dinner is called, plastic plates on their laps.

and they both should go and help serve the food but instead they just stand there for a little while, watching the flames dance in the pit.

and then maybe mark slips his hand into sebastian’s, just gently, the daisy chains sliding against one another. and seb squeezes, once, and doesn’t let go. like it’s easy.

#guess who got carried away again #sebmark #martian #sorry i’m a sucker for an au

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marigold-doms · 3 years

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Hii! Love your stories, really good job🥺💕

I'd really like to request an Ateez oneshot based on the music video of the "Treat You Better" song of Shawn Mendes (if you have ever seen it). I actually am new to tumblr, so idk how this request thing works, I'm really sorry....Soo you can choose just one of the members, otherwise I would like to ask each of them🥺. If I have to be detailed: the plot is like, Y/N is in a really toxic relationship with a bad guy, n the boy/s are Y/N's best friend (or just friend), possibly in love with her, helps her out, with a good ending. Hope this is not too much 😖

Thank u in advance 💕💕🙏🏾

Mika🌻: ahhh hi hi!! thank sm for requesting queen!!! 😘So sorry that I’m getting this out soo late but I hope you like what I did with your request💕It would take me ages to do a one shot for each member so I decided to do a headcannon/reaction to how each member would get you out of this toxic relationship. I hope that’s okay🥺

(the gifs that I used here are so irrelevant to the reaction... oh well😂)

|| Ateez Reacts || to your toxic boyfriend

—hongjoong🌻—

He’s the first to say that he hates him.

Hongjoong right off the bat knows that he doesn’t vibe with him because this man has a really good sense of people and especially knowing that you’re getting involved with that man makes him uneasy.

You could say that his love for you was nothing short of intense and sometimes overbearing.

Of course, you had already decided to date the man so he couldn’t stop you from your inevitable heartbreak.

“You hurt her I swear you won’t be hearing from her anymore because you’ll have to answer to me.”

When he figures out that your boyfriend verbally abuses you, from hearing it across the hall, he’s so quick to find you and snatch you away.

“You have no right in talking to her like that. She deserves more than you.”

You’re crying in his arms with the studio door locked. You wanted out of the relationship and you finally felt confident with hongjoong’s support that you could escape.

He has always been there for you and in a way you’ve always known that he’s been in love with you.

“I need a new start, joongie.” You sniffle into his chest before looking up at him. “You think you could be here for me?”

Hongjoong brushes the hair from your sticky face. “Of course, angel.”

—seonghwa🌻—

Your best friend does not tell you what he really feels about your bf.

His answer to your problems have always been. “if you’re happy with him, it’s your choice to stay or not.”

Seonghwa hated being the one to figure out that your man has been play you this entire time. He regrets telling you to stay if you’re happy—your bf seemed happier in the arms of another.

And his heart completely shatters for you. He wants no part in causing your heart break.

So being the calm and composed man that he is, he confronts your boyfriend.

The man is caught red handed and he has no explanation for himself.

“you better tell y/n,” Seonghwa says, shoving his hands in his pockets to pull out his phone. “Or I might have to give my best friend a little proof photo before she has reason to break up with you.”

“She’s my cousin.”

“I’m sure you don’t grasp your cousin’s ass while making out with her in front of your car.” Seonghwa reveals the picture before shoving it back in his pocket. “You have 5 hours.”

A true king. He finds justice for you.

—yunho🌻—

Yunho’s actually stunned when you tell him who you’re dating. It breaks his heart because he knows the kind of man that your boyfriend is. And it pains him to warn you.

“You don’t know him, Yunho. He’s not like that.”

This makes things rocky between the two of you and a couple months later you’re hit with the realization that he was entirely right. Your man didn’t change and you were completely cornered. You’ve had enough of his hot and cold. Breaking up 5 times in the past few months. Who knows how many girl’s he’s been with during those breaks. You were through being thrown down after being lifted up.

Yunho catches you on accident when you’re crying in the stairwell of the library at night.

‘Y/n!” He rushes to you and automatically hugs you. “What happened?”

Tears are spilling out of your eyes while your mouth is struggling to put out the words. “I was wrong Yunho! I’m so sorry! Im sorry I pushed you away! I’m so sorry!!”

Yunho shhh’s you and he calms you by petting slow strokes over your back like he used to do when you were in high school. “It’ll be okay. You have a choice and I can help you with what ever you decide. Okay love? It’s okay to leave him.”

You nod, already knowing that he’s gonna be there through it all and you couldn’t be more grateful for having Yunho in your life.

—yeosang🌻—

Yeosang is too private to tell you his true feelings and most of the things he says to your are mild roasts, like the savage person he is.

But when it comes to seeing how you’re completely in love with another man, it breaks his heart to even call that guy your boyfriend.

“Is your thing coming today?”

“You talk about him like he’s a disease.” You narrow your eyes at him as you share your ice cream bowl.

“Because he is. Coming when he wants and leaving like he didn’t do any damage.”

You start to feel sad and Yeosang knows he’s said too much.

“Y/n... I’m sorry I—“

“No it’s okay. You aren’t wrong.” You look at your hands but the night begins when your boyfriend walks through the door.

That night you’d had enough. Yeosang wakes up to banging on his door and when he opens it, he’s shocked to see you in front of him with a sad smile on your face.

There are tears in your eyes when you say it to him. “I did it. I broke up with him.”

Yeosang mirrors your smile before letting you into his apartment. “About time, dummy.”

—san🌻—

He’s the most emotional one about this. Super pouty when you are around and you;re so used to him joking about being your boyfriend instead that somehow it’s like water off a ducks back and you kind of disregard his sincerity.

When you get a boyfriend and he realizes that he’s not the man that he’s portraying himself to be to you, he looses his mind seeing him with you.

“Are you sure he makes you happy?” San asks you for the hundredth time.

“Yes San, I’m fine.” You aren’t fine. You thought that the man of your dreams was supposed to put you first not to only call you when he’s horny.

San notices everything and he hates that he sees right through your lies.

One night he’ll just come to your apartment in hopes to talk to you about it but he’s shocked to find you crying on the floor because your toxic boyfriend has yet again left you alone to deal with the aftermath of an unsettled argument.

“That’s it, I’m tired of seeing you do this to yourself!”

San collects you from the ground and helps you into your bed. “I’m calling him.”

You don’t stop him this time because you know that he’s truly there to help you out.

In your time of need, San is there to help you mend yourself and he does his best to make sure that you are happy.

—mingi🌻—

There’s no aggression in this man when he talks to you but with your boyfriend. All offense should be taken.

Mingi wants your toxic boyfriend to know that he doesn’t like him. HE wont reflect that onto you though because mingi thinks that its only fair to treat you like a queen.

Throws him hella attitude when he is alone with him and even flat out asks you why you haven’t just broken up with him yet.

when he catches your bf bring his hand up to hit you, he sees your reaction of flinching and he instantly grabs his wrist.

”You’re out of your goddamn mind to think that I wont do anything about you even thinking that you could lay a finger on her. I never want you around her, ever.”

Mingi is just a loud teddy bear but he will not hesitate to knock out your abusive boyfriend.

“Come on y/n. Let’s find someone who’ll treat you better.”

“You think that you’ll be better?” Your ex questions.

“Better than you could ever try. At least he cares.” You defend mingi.

Mingi’s heart almost melts as he takes you into his car to drive back to his apartment.

—wooyoung🌻—

Is the first to challenge your bf

He always tries to show how superior he is to him.

one because he has the fattest crush on you and he would hate to feel like the guy you fell in love with is better than him.

You might‘ve just over looked a flaw and wooyoung was going to make sure that he figured out what it was

Terribly for you, it was that your bf was sleeping with your roommate when you were out of town.

He didn’t want to just tell you what was going on, he wanted to get revenge for you. Make the guy have a taste of his own medicine.

“You know I told her that you were sleeping around.” Wooyoung leans against the door of your apartment, right in front of your roommate as soon as your bf is about to leave. “That both of you are sleeping together.”

Ofc he hasn’t told you yet... but he wants to see the fear and regret in their eyes.

“Looks like you have a lot of explaining to do later.” He’ll then leave and quickly drive to where you are. Wanting to be there for you when he tells you the truth about your toxic partner.

—jongho🌻—

Jongho is definitely the type to keep his crush on you a huge secret.

its less of a secret when your toxic boyfriend confronts jongho about how he knows about his crush.

To intimidate him—but unfortunately for Your bf—jongho is not easily wavered.

“And what Are you gonna do about it if I am?”

“I’ll just tell her not to talk to you—afterall, she’s in love with me.”

This was when jongho realized that your bf was a manipulative/possessive person. And he wasn’t about to allow this person further into your life.

His plan? Easy. Make your bf so jealous that he ends up getting his poor little heart broken because you couldn’t take that he was being too suffocating.

And who’s there to do damage control and show you how much better of a boyfriend he is when your ex finally leaves your life???

EXACTLY. Plan well thought out and jongho is finna show you what it’s like for a real man to treat you right.

#ateez reactions #ateez fluff #mika’s works #Hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #San #yeosang #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #kpop reactions

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 2 years

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I just have a lot of pressure on my chest and I just need to rent a little bit but you don’t have to share this if u don’t want too…

I was always a chubby kid but I never really cared about it. And by chubby I dont mean like extra overweight I was just wearing clothes a size or two bigger than I was supposed to when I was 7-8 years old. When I turned 10-11, a lot of people where telling me that I lost a lot of weight. Which was true but I still wasn’t skinny I was just average weight for my height and age back then. Some people (the irrelevant ones) would still tell me that I needed to loose a little more weight. I then got my period when I was 11 and usually when girls get their periods, we gain a little bit of weight And I just kept gaining it. But I was gaining fat in my abdomen/tummy area the most. Like not gonna lie sometimes I look pregnant. Now here’s the thing, i was born in Canada and my parents are from Bangladesh, and if there’s one thing you need to know is that South Asians are VERY VERY VERY judgemental. Specially towards girls. So my mom has been body shaming me since I was 13 basically. (I’m 19 now) These are some of the things she says to me: “look how pretty she looks in that dress, you can never look that pretty the way that you’ve been gaining weight” “no guy is going to marry a fat girl like you” “look at your cousin, she’s beautiful she’s smart, gorgeous… don’t you wanna be pretty like her” “baby you HAVE TO loose weight or else there’s no way a guy is gonna fall in love with you” “people like to see slim fit girls not the one like you” “you’re intelligent, respectful but yore just not skinny enough that’s the only problem really everything else is fine” these are just a few of what I have to hear every single day. I don’t/never have eaten that much…I just don’t get hungry. It’s not that I’ve been skipping meals or anything like that but I just don’t get hungry. I’ve also been exercising a lot for about 2-3 years now and I’m still not getting the results that I want. So ik this whole post is a bit personal but y’all don’t know who I am so it’s cool 😆 but my periods are irregular so I have to take pills to have my periods every month and control my acne. Now I’ve been on the pill for about 4 years now and it was just a few days ago that I found out that I had PCOS. (Polycystic ovary syndrome) and one of the symptoms/side effects is that it’s harder to loose weight and also that you gain the more weight in the abdomen area. There isn’t really a cure you just have live with it. So all of this to just say that you shouldn’t judge someone’s body just because you think they’re fat. You never know what’s going on in their lives so you should just focus on your health instead of others. Idk if it’s long and not coney I just tried to put a lot of details some that might be unnecessary but this is my story.

Btw, my mom is still blaming me for being fat and having PCOS. She’s saying that I should try even more to loose weight now. How do I tell her that no matter how hard I try it might take the rest of my life to be able to loose weight?

Again I’m sorry that this is super long and not harry related.

Tw: body imagine, ED

I completely know how you feel with the weight struggle :( it’s been like that just about my whole life and I developed an ED at around 10 years old and have been struggling with it every since then

Im so sorry baby :( I know stuff like this is hard but you said your exercise and stuff, as long as you are healthy and feel good then none of that matters

I don’t know what to do about your mom, I wish I could help. I know this might not do much but have you tried talking to her about how it hurts your feelings? My dads side of the family is super crazy about stuff like that and I’ve been getting comment about my body since I could remember

I wish I could help, you don’t deserve any of this.

Have you tried therapy? I think that could help you a lot. I’m sorry if you already mentioned that, I have the memory of a goldfish. I really hope you get help and/or start to feel better.

If you ever need anyone to talk to my dm’s are open, don’t feel embarrassed or shy

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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haikyuuscreaming · 4 years

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hello!! can you write something fluff with kenma, please? some friends to lovers if possible. loving your blog 💕💕

OH SHIT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG SDFSDFJKD this is. 3.5k words roughly and im so sorry idk why my fics always come out longer than 1k words :(((

The first time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s hiding behind the wall that is Kuroo Tetsurou and you’re both in your first year.

“Oh?” The Nekoma volleyball captain stares you down in the Chem class you share with him. “You’re [Surname]-san, right?”

“Yeah,” You say, never breaking eye contact with him but secretly eyeing the quiet boy behind him. He’s your classmate in a few other of your periods, but not this one. This class is an advanced Chemistry class, placing you conveniently with the second-years and a handful of equally smart first-years. “I need help with the homework and you’re my best bet. Could you help out?”

Kuroo narrows his eyes at you, which you don’t exactly appreciate but you don’t say anything. “You sure you don’t want me to just give answers?”

“I kinda need to understand this to pass the class, so no thanks.”

He hums in approval, like you’ve passed some test, and nods. “Sure thing. I wanted to teach Kenma this anyway.”

Oh, that’s his name… you think to yourself, and you noticed the mentioned Kenma doesn’t look up from his Nintendo Switch, even at the mention of his name. You watch Kuroo turn around to his companion, coercing him, “Kenma, get up, we’re learning Chem.”

“Can’t we do it later?” Kenma’s voice doesn’t hold anything akin to bitterness or complaint- it’s kind of devoid, actually, in a soft and cute way- and you try to tune out the sound of Kuroo scolding him but he’s so loud when he’s right next to you.

“C’mon, we’re about to go home now, we can stay after school a little longer. Plus, we get to teach this lovely lady about nuclei.”

“I’m right here, you know,” you roll your eyes lightly but before you know it, you’re defending Kozume-san. “We can always work it out, um… I dunno, maybe over lunch on Sunday? I mean, it is Friday and this thing’s due Monday and… we can have more fun studying this if we have food.”

Stupid fucking Kuroo only grins. “Oh, so you’re asking me on a date? Kinda bold, if I don’t say so myself, kouhai-chan.”

“Kuro, stop.” Kenma speaks up and his quiet voice somehow speaks volumes. “We can meet with her on Sunday to do it.” And just like that, he retreats to his Switch without another word.

Kuroo turns to you and shrugs indifferently, contrasting his previously provocative and shitfaced attitude. “The man’s laid down the law. How’s boba on Sunday sound?”

The second time you meet Kenma is on that promised study session.

He has inconspicuous earbuds in, his face illuminated by the glowing light of his DS. He has a DS, too? He still looks cute.

And there’s Kuroo of course, but he’s irrelevant to your case unless it has to do with your god forsaken chem homework.

“You want me to go order some drinks next door?” Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “My treat.”

“Just a brown sugar milk tea, thanks,” You tell him gratefully. Thank god for men and their dead sense of chivalry.

“No boba? You’re crazy.” Kuroo scrunches his nose at you and you wish Kenma would start talking so you could avoid this big, annoying cat. “What about you, Kenma? Your usual?”

“Yeah,” is all Kenma says.

“Alright, see you nerds later,” Kuroo practically sings out, patting both of your heads like an old man, and takes something from Kenma that you don’t quite catch, but it makes Kenma glare at him.

As soon as Kuroo’s out of sight, you find it a little awkward to keep conversation with Kenma especially with his whole gamer complex, but-

Oh.

Kuroo took Kenna's DS.

“Kuroo-san’s pretty bothersome, huh,” you sigh out in an attempt to stir conversation. Lucky for you, Kenma goes along with the conversation without fight, his eyes peering over you like reflective pools of honey.

(They’re really pretty, you think.)

“Yeah,” Kenma slouches down a little bit more in his chair at the mention of his taller friend. “He’s kind of like my second mom… but not really. Always nagging me to do things.”

You laugh at his solemn, depressed answer. “It’s fun to have him around, though, right? He’s kind of funny sometimes-- the rest he’s annoying-- and he’s decently smart even though I’m pretty sure he’s got, what, three braincells.”

To your unprompted delight, Kenma laughs softly at you poking fun of Kuroo, and the conversation between you and him starts piling up into more, and more, and it all feels so short. You don’t even notice Kuroo coming back and hovering over the table.

“Eh? You and Kenma getting along without me? What a shame, you know. I really do get third-wheeled.” Kuroo lets out a wistful sigh akin to an old man and sits down, drinks in hand. “So, who’s ready to study?”

The third time you meet Kozume Kenma, it’s at your mall’s arcade.

You and your friends are playing one of those claw machines, trying to get that really cute Miku figurine and those adorable plushies, wasting all your coins on these sucker games like the dumb teenagers you are. But a glimpse of familiar, two-toned hair catches your eye.

“Hold on,” you tell your friends who’re still busy trying to get that stupidly gorgeous Sakura Miku figure. “I’m gonna be right back.”

You wander your way to the familiar head of hair, and gratefully, your instinct was right. “Kozume-san? What’re you doing here?”

Kenma practically jumps at the sound of your voice, turning around, eyes wide. “Oh. I just got lost from the team. You’re here too?”

“Mhm,” You smile, pointing at your screaming group of friends. “My friends and I are here just to chill out and have fun. You can hang with us if you want!”

He shakes his head, his hair gracefully framing his face. “Nah, I’m fine, thanks.. I’ll just hold out until Kuro sniffs me out or something.”

You furrow your brow- geez, this kid’s gonna get lost so fast-- and you gently clasp the phone he’s holding in his hand. “Can I give you my number? I’ll pick up immediately if you ever call, just give a ring.”

You fail to notice the surprise that flits over Kenma’s face, but he reluctantly hands you his phone and you tap in your number quickly. “See you around, Kozume-san. Don’t get into trouble.”

And Kenma smiles on his own accord, his face lighting up softly like a lamp under moonlight. “You too.”

The fourth time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s at your house working on an Japanese Lit assignment.

“Oh? Kozume-kun!” You’re pleasantly surprised when your teacher pairs the two of you up. “Nice to talk with you again.”

“Yeah, “ Kenma blinks a little awkwardly and he shyly grins, which you find even more stunning than it already is because he’s usually held up such a calm, unaffected facade. “Uh. So do you want to meet up at… your house for this? So we can do the project.”

“Oh, yeah,” You wave dismissively, beaming at him because this is your chance to get closer with him. “My little brother’s a nuisance, though, so he might bother us. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No problem.. you can text me the address, because… yeah.” You find it cute how Kenma doesn’t want to mention that the two of you have been texting a lot more lately, and the slightest blush tints his cheeks.

“Of course!”

Flash to your house, the two of you are on the floor, slaving over a giant posterboard with paint and art supplies scattered about.

“I hate making movie posters, it’s so tiring…” You groan out, trying to paint Yukio Mishima’s face with the utmost care. “And this book’s so creepy… why would we wanna make a poster of it? He commits seppuku!”

Kenma grins a little bit and he looks really cute, with his hair tied up in the back and his gaze focused on the painting at hand. “You’re so easily grossed out.”

“But he made it so detailed! You're immune ‘cause you play all those gross horror games.”

He laughs quietly, and you think you're going to heaven. “You couldn't even handle Ao Oni, stop.”

You scowl at the mention of Kenma’s dumb horror games. “He’s this weird deformed grape, okay?? It was kinda scary!”

The two of you end up nowhere near finishing your poster, and you collectively decide to put it off for maybe another day. The rest of your day is spent-- c-cuddling? (no hetero, you reassured Kenma, although you were thinking otherwise)-- and playing more horror games, much to your chagrin.

(But it gave you a reason to hug Kenma tighter.)

You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve met up with Kenma now. You’re in your second-year of high school now and your bond with him as only strengthened.

He invited you eventually to walk to school with him, along with Kuroo, and you find out that it was Kuroo’s coaxing to do so. But you’re still delighted that Kenma agreed on, what, the second time Kuroo nagged him about it?

You and Kenma have gotten fairly close. You’ve vented to him, cried to him, he’s shown his emotional side, too. You’ve even gotten a little closer to Nekoma’s god, Kuroo Tetsurou (to which your friends always complain about- “you can’t take all the cute guys for yourself”). But, in your opinion, the most important part is that you’ve been getting closer to Kozume Kenma, who you once thought would always just be the quiet classmate to you. Who would always be your unattainable, close-guarded crush.

"Kenma!” You yell out, rushing over to him with your backpack practically bouncing off of you with each step. “Wait up, would you?! How do you get out of class so quick??”

"I was waiting for you either way,” Kenma mumbles and hunches his shoulders together. “Do you wanna go to my house? I have new games and Kuroo won't be bothering us.”

“Can’t we get snacks first?” You know you sound a little bit whiny, but you’re hungry as fuck, and Kenma’s smiling either way.

“I guess.. you’re paying, though.”

“That isn’t fair at all!”

Eventually the two of you walk to your nearest 7/11 and get chips and snacks before leaving promptly, with you holding your chocolate milk and Kenma sipping apple juice. The walk to his house is full of conversation, Kenma equally engaged as you are. But as soon as you arrive at his front doorstep, the hollow noise of an empty apple juice box makes its appearance.

“You drink your juice too fast!” You tease Kenma lightly as he frowns, unlocking the door.

“You just drink too slow,” he replies and shoulders the door open. The two of you make your way inside and flop onto the couch, Kenma crouching near the TV to boot up his newest game. “Damn. I’m still thirsty, too.”

“Language, Kenma,” You chide him, throwing a pillow at him as soon as he sits down next to you on the couch. “And-” it takes every ounce of your willpower not to turn bright red. “-do you want some of my chocolate milk?”

The silence that follows is very short (probably only, what, a second or two?), but it feels like hours of painful quiet. Kenma blinks at you and the pink that dusts his ears becomes more and more prominent each second.

“Yeah… sure,” Kenma finally says and you beam so wide that you’re sure not even the sun could battle the brightness of your happiness right now. You hand him your nearly untouched chocolate milk and his fingers brush against yours as he takes it, sipping at it cautiously like he was afraid something would happen.

(Oh my god he’s so cute.. he looks so cute… he’s drinking my chocolate milk!! He’s so-)

“Oi, Kenma! My mom told me to pick up some tomatoes from y-” The door bursts open to reveal Kuroo Tetsurou.

You freeze, since Kuroo just witnessed you passing a chocolate milk box to Kenma and the latter sipping at the straw. Kenma kind of flushes, his mouth still wrapped around the plastic straw with chocolate milk halfway up.

“Eh? Sharing drinks now?” Kuroo tsks and shakes his head, a smirk gracing his stupidly arrogant face. “You know, you two could get mono. Or any other communicable diseases. Kinda risky, you know?”

“Kuroo, stop!” You’re wildly embarrassed to be caught in this not-so-platonic situation (in your opinion, at least), before Kuroo lets out a hearty laugh.

“You know, that’s an indirect kiss!”

“Didn’t I say stop?!”

“Ah, youth. Indirect kisses! You put your mouth on the straw, then he did. Romance at its finest!”

You know, deep inside, Kuroo just likes to rile you up, but you still bite the bait. “Kuroo, shut up, please??”

And Kenma speaks up for the first time during the whole banter. “Kuro, the tomatoes are on the kitchen table. Go.”

The Nekoma captain quirks an eyebrow before shrugging and heading towards the kitchen. “Thanks. Don’t do anything risky.”

“Kuroo!”

You and Kenma awkwardly glance at each other-- you note he’s still sipping your chocolate milk-- and eventually he stands off to ward Kuroo off (who keeps chuckling for no goddamn reason).

You two are alone again, and his burnt-gold eyes stare into yours.

“Did Kuro bother you?” His ears are still pinkish, but you notice that he’s still comfortable, although you can see a sheen of sweat starting to form on his face.

“Nah... “ You force your voice to stay level. “Why does he keep doing this?? God, he’s so annyoing sometimes… it isn’t like- it isn’t like we’re dating or anything.” God fucking damn stuttering.

Kenma’s eyes widen for a fraction of a millisecond, and you almost miss it, before he clears his throat. “Yeah. Not like that at all.. let’s just go back to playing.”

The atmosphere morphs into the usual, playful one that is held between the two of you, and you’re becoming proud of how much better Kenma is at redefining conversations and shifting the mood whereas in the beginning he would struggle in topic changes.

You’re so proud of him.

(And you’re kind of in love with him.)

You have a group chat with Kuroo and Kenma, unsurprisingly.

It’s, what, midnight on a school day, and the three of you are texting. Kuroo offers a game of ‘truth or dare’, and you accept out of sheer boredom. Plus, dares are so much easier to do online because you can fake nearly anything.

kuroo >:/: kenma truth or dare

kenma :): i’m not playing

YOU: yea you are !! ur not getting out of this

kenma :): fine

don’t say anything stupid though

kuroo >:/: so whats it gonna b???

Kenma takes a good ten seconds to respond.

kenma :): truth.

kuroo >:/: you got a crush on anyone?

YOU: oooh spicy

kenma :): kuro why

Your heart races a little bit at the comment.

YOU: oh? kenma i thought we were besties :(( why wouldnt u tell me

kenma :): it isn’t that….

kuro you already know why are you asking me that here

kuroo >:/: for my favorite kouhai [name]-chan

YOU: fuck off kuroo we all know im ur fav bc i pay for ur boba

kuroo >:/: fair

You get impatient with Kuroo’s mindless banter, so you end up texting Kenma privately.

YOU: so who is ur crush????

kenma :): why do you assume i have one

YOU: i mean….u wouldve denied it if u didnt have one?

He leaves you on seen for two minutes and you’re about to text him and complain but his reply shoots back.

kenma :): it’s you

And your heart doesn’t skip a beat. No, it just beats even faster.

The blood is rushing to your face, you can feel it, and a smile tugs at your face subconsciously. Your brain’s running a mile a minute, and you’re so outrageously shocked and unprepared that the aftermath of it all hits you just about a minute later.

(What if he’s lying? What if someone made him say that? What if-)

YOU: fr?

YOU: kenma dont mess w me

kenma :): i’m not

kenma :): you wanted to know so yeah. it’s you

kenma :): i like you and idk kuro says it’s “more than just like” and maybe he’s right

kenma :): see u at school tmr

YOU: WAIT KENMA COME BACK ???

You cute little rat, you seeth internally, happiness still radiating off of you. Is this a dream? Oh my god. Kozume Kenma likes me.

… Kozume Kenma feels the same way I feel about him.

The next day, you anxiously wait for Kenma at your doorstep. You even woke up early and had gotten ready as soon as you could, just so you could catch Kenma ASAP.

You slept surprisingly well, despite your anxiety from Kenma, and your body was filled with energy. You check your phone every two minutes, glancing at his ‘good morning text’ and praying for another one.

kenma :))): gm i’m still walking to school with u if you want… i’ll pass by your house just in case

YOU: oh!!!! yea id love to walk to school w u :))

Silence fills your ears as you anxiously pace back and forth from your doorstep to the curb of your neighborhood. You can’t help but worry as your gaze flits across every house, begging for a sign of Kenma.

(What if you’re too late, you realize in panic. What if your efforts weren’t enough?)

But then the sound of quiet-paced footsteps snaps you out, and you look up to see Kenma, standing in front of your house, an adorably shy expression painted across his face.

“Kenma!” You hate how your voice comes out kind of squeaky and high-pitched but you don’t care right now. You practically launch off of your doorstep and bound toward him, settling by his side.

He gives you a shy, adoring look but you can see the anxiety in his eyes as he points forward in the direction of Nekoma. “We can talk while walking, right?”

You smile breathlessly and your fingers brush against his. He smiles at you, and you notice the same pink dusting his ears like when he was sharing chocolate milk with you.

Two hands intertwine and the conversation begins.

You’re in your third year of college now, out on a “boys (and girl) night out”, as Kuroo deemed it.

Kenma’s got it well-made for him, striking good on his company to which you supported him through the entire time, and Kuroo’s on his way to be the scientist he’s always dreamed of being even as a nerdy-jock kid. He claims he’s practically a professional volleyball player, too, just on the side, but both you and Kenma know better.

You and Kenma have been dating ever since your second-year in high school. Which makes it just about… four-ish years now that you’ve been dating.

(Kuroo claims that in your first-year, you and Kenma were basically dating each other spiritually, but you pay him no mind.)

The three of you are out on the beach on an autumn day. It’s pretty empty, despite the warm evening sun that casts a golden shine on the sand and ocean, so you’re all making epic sandcastles in peace.

“We should make a moat,” Kuroo says, already digging out a ring around the lopsided sandcastle.

“We haven’t even finished the castle itself!” You protest, pushing him lightly as you use your other hand to pat down the base of the castle.

Kenma packs sand into a small bucket and delicately places it on top of the half-finished sand “castle” to make a tower. You find it cute how he’s the only one putting in decent effort, so you help him out by packing in another bucket of sand. “Kuro would be a terrible architect,” Kenma comments.

“You right, you right,” You sigh out while Kuroo squawks in protest. Kenma leans on you, out of instinct you think, and you kiss the top of his head gently. Kuroo covers his eyes and complains about his youth and young love before Kenma haphazardly bumps into you. Which leads to the sand castle collapsing.

“Ah- Kenma!” you cry out in panic, sweeping the sand together in a half-hearted attempt to piece it back into a cohesive castle. “Be careful!”

“No, look,” he says quietly, a small smile gracing his face.

“You worked so hard on the base too, to make it big and flat- oh?” You sit up a little bit when you see a small velvet box in the middle of the sand pile.

Kuroo gasps very loudly and you stare at Kenma in shock.

Oh my god. What’s happening, what’s happening, oh my god-

You slowly reach out for the box in the middle of the mess and take it delicately, brushing off the sand clinging to it. Your fingers pry it open with shaking fingers and you feel Kenma place his hand on your arm gently, his gorgeous honey eyes staring at you. The same honey eyes you fell in love with.

You're also in love with the gorgeous, sparkling amber ring that sits in the middle of the cushioned box.

“[Name]. I want to be married. To you. Will you marry me?” Kenma’s voice is soft and sweet but you know with the convincing sureness in his voice that he’s been practicing this line for at least a month and he’s become confident in it.

You start crying immediately (god damn it, you think to yourself) your heart blooming with joy and your entire body feels like it’s about to explode of pure happiness.

You kiss him, full on the lips with tears streaming down your face and he kisses back, his arms wrapping around you and you realize he’s crying too. With the possibly happiest voice you’ve ever used in your life, you cry out, “Of course I will!” on the beach with Kuroo clapping in the background.

Two years later on that beach, you two become the happiest couple on Earth.

#kenma kozume x reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq x reader

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starrysamu · 4 years

Text

omg okay i feel like exposing myself so there was this guy i liked like…last fall? right after my breakup. we’d been friends since january of 2019 and he was always nice as fuck to me like genuinely kind and helpful and he was like three years older than me but technically only two years ahead of me in university (i was in 3rd year and he was doing his 5th).

since he was ahead he’d give me all his notes and recordings and since i was a keener early in university, i was taking some higher level courses that he was in too so we’d share a lot of course material. i rmr being there like right next to him when he got his acceptance to the phd program he’s in right now and it was really cool bc i was like the first to know and congratulate him :3 but i was still dating my ex at that point so it was kinda irrelevant.

N E WAYS after my breakup i kinda reached out to him for advice bc he’d gone through a similar kind of breakup half a year ago and i felt lame as fuck about it. he was super sweet and we became better friends and then this is where i fucked up. i didn’t like him at this point or at least i didn’t…realize i did? so i was like i trust this guy a lot and i think he’s cute and i’m pretty sure he thinks i’m attractive, why not ask if he wants to fuck around?

so i did just that at a university pub night event where i got drunk and full out just asked if he wanted to fuck. well, he said no because he’s a lil conservative (raised in a conservative country) and he felt like he would be taking advantage of me bc i was definitely an emotional mess. but we were still like…friends. and actually we got even closer after the whole issue like we started going out for dinners and drinks alone and i guess this is where i caught feelings?

so fast forward to early november i think i’m starting to realize that i like this guy and one night we’re walking from the university to the train station (he lives close to the train station) and i’m like “haha this is the first time in like years that we’ll both be single for christmas” (dumb, i know) and then he’s like “oh, actually….” HE STARTED SEEING THIS GIRL WHO WAS HIS AGE WITH A REAL FULL TIME JOB AND I WAS LIKE AHA THAT’S SICK MAN BUT GUESS WHAT !! IT WAS NOT SO SICK FOR ME

so i started feeling rlly bad because like i felt that we couldn’t be friends anymore because a) hard on myself to be around him while he was dating someone and i liked him b) unfair to his gf because he probably wouldn’t tell her “hey i’m friends/hanging out with this girl who wanted to FUCK me at one point and has feelings for me” so i told him this to his face like sorry dude i don’t think we can still be friends and it was the most awkward and slightly heartbreaking conversation i’ve ever had with someone face to face

the big problem with this is that we work on the same floor. my lab placement and the lab he’s working in are like a thirty second walk away from each other. so i saw him A LOT and we just WOULDN’T look or talk to each other it was so painfully awkward and it’s still awkward and i get a little sad because i really did like him and i never asked him if he liked me too because i didn’t want to try and start sthn when i wasn’t over my ex. so yeah i guess bad timing and bad decisions.

omg okay yue i’ll say it i have so much respect for u rn ur MAD BOLD SIS !!!! yue )): this breaks my heart please timing is the mf worst .... imma cry for u tn this sucks so hard sis wtf

he seems like a really nice guy! (nawt us shitting on men like two seconds ago) but i’m really sorry this ain’t work out for u sis but U NEVER KNOW. things might work out later on?? and it’s p awkward now but maybe if yall keep seein each other he’ll wanna start a conversation with u again ? and maybe ..... maybe ..... idk (nawt me thinkin like a fanfic writer BUT FR U NEVER KNOW AND I STAND BY THAT STATEMENT)

idk i feel u on this timing thing like my whole life has just been a series of timing issues :// THIS SUCKS. i’m so sorry u gotta keep seeing him but i’m really proud of u for telling him upfront and being honest with both yourself and him ... i think it would be way harder for u to keep talking to him too like i know it’d be really difficult for me personally ,,

thanks for sharing yue ))): i sound like a teacher in a classroom i promise i don’t mean it like that but fr thanks for sharing this like .... wow this was so vulnerable of u ma’am i just have so much respect for u rn PLEASE u deserve so much please ):

#my heart just broke a lil #there is something way more emo about timing issues than breakups to me #MAN DON'T THINK I DON'T RMR UR BREAKUP EITHER ://#yue u deserve so much more sis shut up i hate this so much for u #remy cooks #remy's restaurant #submission

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akechicrimes · 4 years

Note

I'm a brand new goroboy and have questions if you don't mind answering any of them 1. Was everything that Akechi said about the PTs being unjust a part of his detective act or did he really believe that changing hearts was bad prior to the engine room? 2. When did he first suspect the PTs? Did he figure them out immediately at the TV station or did he just become interested in Joker cuz he's gay and figured it out afterwards lol. Basically who sussed who out first? (1/2)

hello welcome!!!!!! we are happy to have u!!!!!!!!

unfortunately we dont have concrete answers to a lot of these, but i will do my best!!!! these are some really excellent questions so i want to do them justice. and by do them justice, i mean theyre under a cut because it got really long lmfao.

thanks for the ask–this was really fun to write, instead of doing literally any of the work that i was supposed to.

1. Was everything that Akechi said about the PTs being unjust a part of his detective act or did he really believe that changing hearts was bad prior to the engine room?

SHORT ANSWER: we don’t know.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: we can’t say for sure but there’s strong evidence that he was probably telling the truth, actually.

VERY LONG ANSWER: there’s strong evidence he both is and isn’t telling the truth in the TV studio scene, but with the qualifiers that (1) he never necessarily says theyre unjust, he says they’re dangerous. (2) he probably thinks the phantom thieves change hearts in the same way that he makes people go psychotic. (3) his sense of justice is basically entirely based on righting wrongs that have been committed against individuals, not what the law says. (also, when i say “individuals,” i mean himself.)

to the extent that he’s lying–he does say that they’re operating outside the law, and that they have unknown and apparently very effective power that cannot be stopped by traditional law enforcement. traditional justice says that if you operate outside the law, that makes you automatically bad. akechi is playing the part of someone who’s lawful good, so when he says, “they’re dangerous and operating outside the law,” he has to say, “that makes them unjust.”

to the extent that he’s telling the truth, that’s basically everything else he says. i do think those viewpoints are his own for a lot of reasons.

when he talks about the changes of heart, he makes it sound like it’s a thing that could just happen to anyone–even people who’ve done no wrong. when akira voices support for the PT, akechi argues back against akira to say “If [Ryuji’s] heart suddenly changed, wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?” like it could just happen to any random joe schmoe. he’s acting like someone could just one day change their entire attitude–possibly for the worse–resulting in terror amongst the population.

we have to keep in mind that at this point in time, akechi has no idea that you can steal treasure to change a person’s heart. he doesn’t even know treasure is a thing, let alone that you have to send a calling card to make it manifest. morgana is the person who knew all that stuff, and akechi definitely didnt have access to morgana when he started his hitman career.

so with the way that he’s talking about the changes of heart, i dont think he assumes that changes of heart always change the person for the better. he has no idea that it’s literally removing a person’s distorted desires. i’m like NINETY-FIVE PERCENT SURE that he thinks changes of heart operate in the same way that his psychotic abilities work: you cast a persona spell, and a person goes apeshit.

from his point of view, that’s kind of what’s happening. when akechi casts call of chaos, a person starts behaving in a way they never would under ordinary circumstances in the real world. the changes of heart really look exactly the same way to an outsider’s POV. and to akechi’s understanding, call of chaos can be cast on even good people. from the phantom thieves’ POV, only people who’re mega-dicks can have their hearts changed in the first place, because the requisite to have a palace is a certain level of distortion. (futaba, of course, proving that you don’t have to be a mega-dick to have a distortion, but the TV studio scene happens before futaba.)

akechi’s argument is that leaving that sort of power in just anyone’s hands is dangerous. because that’s a LOT of power for one person to have. akechi would know, considering that he’s in the same position. he’s wary of the fact that there’s no guarantee that that person will use it for good.

that, of course, brings us to the question of “well, what does akechi think ‘using power for good’ is in the first place?” does he think that the phantom thieves are using their powers for good? does he think he’s using his powers for good?

when asked why he seeks justice, akechi says: “Because of sickening human beings… Yes, my contempt for such people drives my sense of justice. It isn’t some grand reason like society’s sake or some lofty ideal. It’s simply an absurd grudge… and extremely personal.”

the traditional, lawful-good way of thinking about justice is that if you operate outside the law, you’re automatically bad. but akechi’s sense of justice seems to be driven primarily from the hurts he’s suffered, the grudges he still bears, and his conviction that wrongs personally done against individuals should be righted. it’s an end-goal oriented sense of justice.

if wrong-doers are punished and the grudges are appeased, then justice is delivered. how that happens does not necessarily constitute justice. my best guess at this time is that he’d qualify a lot as “the ends justify the means,” since his concept of justice is end-goal oriented.

of course, i think akechi definitely shows throughout the game that he knows that how you achieve those ends is… not irrelevant. i think his black mask outfit (and a bunch of other things he says) implies that he feels like he is a “villain” of sorts. he demonstrates feeling a type of way about killing okumura. he definitely knows that his actions are morally wrong under particular lenses. take a look at this section:

Akechi: Who cares? My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. [referencing that all his victims were dicks who kind of deserved to get glocked]

Akechi: How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?

Ann: We’re not murderers!

Akechi: (now looking kind of pissed) So what?! [launches into speil about how it’ll all be worth it when he exacts revenge on Shido]

obviously he knows that murder is morally indefensible. but i think he’s justified it to himself as either not so bad because he killed primarily corrupt people, and/or that it’d be worth it if he achieves revenge on shido. he’s doing some kind of weird karma cosmic-scale balancing of “how much can i get away with and still be able to call it justifiable and justice,” and it looks like his answer is “quite a fucking lot.”

ironically, this makes his views on justice fairly practical. rather than idealistically committed to some platonic edition of justice, he’s more of a “what do i need to do to get the goals i want achieved? what needs to happen to make sure that asshole abusers get what’s coming to them? what needs to happen to make sure that i get emotional closure?” the biggest issue with that is the danger of a Pyrrhic victory–the moment where the means so go far that the ends no longer justify them.

all of this is to say: when akechi is talking about the phantom thieves as potentially unjust, i dont think he has a problem with their methods. “methods” are like a knife–it’s about how you use it, and for what.

i think he knows that changing hearts, and turning people psychotic, is morally skeevy if your sense of justice is very puritanical, but his sense of justice isn’t puritanical. i think he’s wary of what they might be using their methods for. again: his big argument in the studio scene isnt necessarily that theyre unjust, only that they’re dangerous.

seriously, though–changing hearts is potentially a recipe for societal collapse if used the wrong way. imagine if the PT were more self-centered and they went the light yagami route with their new supernatural powers, maintaining peace and order through authoritarian fear. that is, actually, the entire premise of the P5 Vanilla Bad End, in which the PT enforce peace through relentlessly changing hearts and making people too terrified to keep committing crime.

since his views on justice seem to be defined by what the end goal is, he’d have to know what those goals are before understanding if they’re “just” or “unjust”–which is probably why he keeps hounding akira for akira’s viewpoints on justice, tbh. the phantom thieves are only unjust if their end goal is unjust, not necessarily because of their methods. (see answer to question 2 for related/continued discussion.)

2. When did he first suspect the PTs? Did he figure them out immediately at the TV station or did he just become interested in Joker cuz he’s gay and figured it out afterwards lol. Basically who sussed who out first?

SHORT ANSWER: i pretty sure atlus expects us to believe that he figured it from even before the TV showing–he figured it out when he overheard ryuji saying “It’s not easy being phantom thieves” when they were in the hallway. it’s the same time and place where akechi did his famous pancake fuck-up.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: the idea that akechi was just super horny for the guy who gave him shit on live TV and then realized that akira was a phantom thief later as a neat bonus is fuckign SENDING me.

VERY LONG ANSWER: because of the scene with ryuji, i’m pretty sure he knew that akira was a phantom thief, and also i’m half-convinced that he somehow got the TV host to specifically choose akira during the “ask the audience” portion of the show. it’s really too much of a coincidence.

because of that, i think the other implication of the scene is that he wanted to see what akira was made of when he invited akira for a debate on live television, and was pleasantly surprised when akira had something very interesting to say on the topic of grey morality and achieving justice outside the law.

what’s interesting about that scene is that akechi becomes interested in akira regardless of what akira says about the phantom thieves. akira’s options are “They’re justice itself,” “They’re necessary,” and “They do more than the cops”–so it’s not like akira ever says that he dislikes the phantom thieves, but the level of support ranges and two of these imply a justification/reasoning for it. and then akechi fucking argues back on live television like this is some kind of debate, instead of a daytime talk show meant to distract bored housewives.

like. akechi gets INTO it. justice is his THING. and here’s akira, who seems to be not only a metaverse user operating outside the law like akechi himself, but also has some pretty grey morality thoughts on what justice is and could be, also like akechi himself.

taking it as a given that he knows for a fact that akira is a phantom thief from the get-go, from even before the TV scene ever even happened, then akechi probably keeps hounding him because akechi’s interested in hearing akira’s reasons. he’s not fishing for evidence, since he already knows. this is very speculative, now, but my best guess is that he keeps hounding akira ever after this scene because he wants to compare notes, one vigilante to another, to hear how akira rationalizes his vigilante work as a type of justice. very possibly, he’s seeking reassurance to himself that his own actions are justifiable. (he certainly seems that way in P5R, especially when he wonders about if a “justice nobody wants” is really a true justice at all, or just someone being self-centered.)

so re: “did akechi figure him out or was he just gay,” the answer is. yes. akechi did figure him out, and also akira made him so intellectually horny on live television that he hounded the man down in public for follow-up dates.

what a king.

3. Does Akechi have a Velvet Room? Does he experience rank ups with Joker and the game over stuff too?

SHORT ANSWER: we don’t know. no, seriously, we have no idea.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: i’ve seen compelling takes on him having his own velvet room, and i think it’s thematically very fascinating if akechi is quite literally akira’s counterpart in terms of cosmic chess pieces, but i would be surprised if he did. but again, seriously, since there’s no confirmation on the matter, i say akechi’s potential velvet room is fair game.

VERY LONG ANSWER: lore-wise, i’m betting no. akechi was yaldabaoth’s piece, while akira was philemon’s (if i’m remembering my lore correctly). philemon provides the velvet room to aid the people he chooses–yaldabaoth has no such deal. the only reason why yaldo was in the velvet room in the first place was because he wanted to fuck over philemon’s chosen trickster.

it’s the same logic for why someone like adachi wouldn’t have a velvet room: while souji/yu, namatame, and adachi were all given the power to go into the tv world by izanami, only souji/yu was selected by philemon to save the world from ruin, and was accordingly given the resources and aid to do so.

secondary bonus: the psychotic ability/call of chaos just removes a person’s bonds in their heart, which makes them behave as if they were crazy. it’s the exact opposite of joker’s ability to create bonds. yaldabaoth’s one gift to his chosen chess piece was to essentially undo the very social links that make akira strong. so again, i’d be shocked if akechi experiences things like ranking up, or any sort of velvet room/persona fusing mechanic.

personally i think the loki/robin hood divide just happened because he awoke to a persona twice. awakening to your persona just happens at moments of rebellion and strong resolve, and canonically even other persona-users “awaken” (sorta) twice when you max their social link. i’m betting that he just had two moments of resolve: one in which he wanted to be a hero of justice, and one in which he decided he was going to tear shido to the ground no matter how far into villainy he had to go.

but as always, it’s not like there’s a hard consensus on the matter.

4. How did he kill the shadows of people who don’t have a palace? Does *everyone* have a shadow in mementos?

SHORT ANSWER: he probably kills them in mementos, and also i think we’re expected to believe that literally everyone has a shadow in mementos.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: i’m almost certain that the mementos depths section of the game confirms that basically everyone’s shadows are in there somewhere, even if they’re just your average joe with no significant distortions. the palace ruler for that section is “the public,” and also we do see the shadows of palace rulers who’ve had their hearts changed in the mementos depths. so even if you’ve had your heart changed and are supposedly a perfectly good human being now, this evidently doesnt disqualify you for having a shadow in mementos.

VERY LONG ANSWER: morgana says that mementos is the collective distortion of everyone in the area, but not a lot more concretely than that. morgana also says that reality is fairly plastic and that reality is somewhat determined by how we perceive the world, so i think that we’re expected to believe that everyone has, to some degree, some level of distortion.

i could say that jungian theory, which is the theory that the persona series is based off of, says that everyone without exception has a shadow. but this seems a little bit of a doylist explanation. instead i’ll point to persona 3, in which people without shadows literally become comatose and apathetic husks of themselves. this is because having a shadow is actually a fairly important part of a person’s psyche, and not having one doesnt make you a good and perfect person, it makes you a nonfunctional vegetable incapable of cognitive thought.

so yeah, i’m pretty sure EVERYONE is in mementos. with the exception of the phantom thieves, because… i think we’re expected to believe that their personas are in some ways their shadows? but also their personas are like, real-life kinning mythological/fictional characters so hard that you bind them to your soul? frankly i’ve been confused about how shadows work ever since persona 5 had people’s eyes turn yellow when they go through their awakenings, since perosna 4 used to use that as a sign that the person was a shadow, so… maybe i have no idea what the fuck im talking about. LMFAO.

#mine #meta #Anonymous

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saturnjae · 5 years

Text

a-z analysis ~ l.j.n

includes: a whole lotta smut and my irrelevant opinion on jeno in bed.

writing his was death, because... JENO!!!!

if u have a problem with 00’ liner smut, even though they’re adults, please just ignore, scroll past and have a good day!

:::

a/n: i was writing renjun’s and i realised i should state this beforehand: i see jeno as a soft dom so, yeah....

:::

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

mostly cuddling, after he’s gained enough energy to clean you up, if you guys got messy. he’d hold you tight against himself, go back into clingy baby boy mode.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think he’d like thighs the most, the feeling of such soft flesh under his grasp would turn him on. on himself i think his favourite part would be his hands and he’d love to have them all over you. also, his tongue, he’s always sticking it out and would know how to make you feel good with it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

jeno can be quite a messy cummer. if he isn’t cumming in one of your holes or a condom, he’ll usually go for your stomach. there’s something about the way you take his cum that he loves.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

jeno can’t help but think about how beautiful you’d look with one of his hands wrapped round your neck; using the last breath you have left in your lungs to beg him to let you cum.

yes, jeno wants to try being really rough with you but the poor boy doesn’t want to hurt you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

my boy ain’t getting any action cooped up in them dorms, sorry :’( he doesn’t even like texting people or going out, which means he probably jerks off to porn when he’s alone. however, he’d probably get the hang of it pretty quickly once he’s started.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

he loves to see your reactions. the faces you make when he hits the right spot or the way your eyes roll back when you’re cumming for him. he wants to see your back arch as you tell him how good he’s making you feel. also, he absolutely loves eye contact during sex, he has such a powerful stare, it’s seriously deadly. so, jeno would prefer missionary or even cowgirl, anything as long as he can see you properly.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

though people say he’s not funny, he’s hilarious they’re all liars lol he knows how to make you laugh. in the act, i believe he would be more serious most of the time. sometimes, however, he would occasionally flash you one of his cute smiles, if the mood wasn’t serious in the first place. or, if something awkward happened, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from laughing causing you to burst out laughing too.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

i don’t think i’ve ever seen a hair on jeno’s armpits so, that gives me the indication that jeno likes to take care of his body hair. i think he’d more likely be trimmed; sometimes, he might just shave it all for the heck of it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

though he tries to act like he doesn’t like intimacy all the much, he’s very affectionate. he can be fairly romantic during the act, he wants to give you the ‘experience’. sex with jeno is pretty loving and he’d only be rough with you if you were being a brat or if he was in really stressed and angry.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

jeno gets off by himself probably a few times a week when he’s not too busy.... (i’ll give you an image of what it would be like)

it was as if the stars had aligned all of a sudden; his schedule almost never allowed him time and the dorm always seemed to be buzzing but for once he had some alone time. he sat in his chair in front of his computer. a hand slipped below his waistband and pulled out his throbbing cock. as he watched the playing on the screen, he couldn’t help but imagine both of you in place of the actors. he couldn’t help but imagine fucking you senseless like the man was. a few moans fell from his mouth along with your name. it felt so good but he would feel so much better if you were here...

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

i don’t see jeno as a very kinky person but he has a few things that seriously get him off like: praise {giving and receiving}, cockwarming, oral {giving more}, overstimulation {giving more}, light bondage...

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

pretty much on any surface he can take you, in the comfort of your own homes. but, it usually happens on the sofa or against a wall. he wouldn’t do much to you in public he might give you a few light, teasing touches. he’ll usually wait until you’re in private to do anything though.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

i think jeno would get turned on pretty easily, by you specifically. he finds himself wanting you most when he’s close to you for extended periods of time because that’s when his mind starts to wander and you’d end up feeling his bulge against you. i also think making out would get him going too. in my opinion, making jeno horny probably wouldn’t be a difficult task.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

like i said jeno isn’t extremely kinky, but i think he would be open to experiment. he wouldn’t like something he deemed dirty or dangerous much at all.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

jeno would love giving oral and he’s pretty good at it. he’s always sticking out his tongue and can no doubt use it well. he’d be a bit messy and rough with you but it would be very pleasurable. you would find it hard not to squirm and he’d have to hold your hips in place to stop you from bucking into him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

he would be pretty speedy. his thrusts would be hard and sharp, which are sometimes rough when he doesn’t mean to be. however, when he wants to prolong your activities, for any reason, his thrusts be more deep and slow. regardless, he’s going hard.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

no doubt, he’d prefer proper sex but if he really needed you badly and you both had barely any time he wouldn’t be opposed to it. the frequency of them would happen depending on his schedule. when he’s very busy they would happen quite often because he’d feel bad if he left you needy for him for such a long time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

he wouldn’t be opposed to experimenting with you and would take suggestions from you and suggest things himself, even. some more serious, potentially dangerous things he would be a little hesitant about but would try it if he thought it would be worthwhile. so, he isn’t a major risk taker but would definitely take risks to keep things ‘spicy’ ;)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

jeno, no doubt, has good stamina. he’d usually go for two rounds, if time allowed it; more than two wouldn’t be too surprising from him. only if he was tired in the first place would he burn out after one round. i think he’d be able to last a pretty good amount of time, he might have you very sore and sensitive by the time he’s cum.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

doesn’t really like using toys; he’d rather make you feel good with his own body. he may use a vibrator on you to tease you once in awhile. he’d be open to use toys of your suggestion, however.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

jeno loves to tease. he likes hearing you whine and plea for him to touch you where you want it. he loves your cute little frown when your frustrated from not getting your way. he’ll do the opposite to what you want until you’re literally begging him to just get on with it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

not very loud. he’ll let out groans and grunts quite a bit. i also see him as someone that might pant a little, especially when he’s close. when he cums he’s at his loudest which isn’t very loud. he’d probably just let out a few deep grunts and moans. you’d be making much more noise than him; he’d make sure of that.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

i just assumed i could write anything i wanted in this space lol

you didn’t know what had gotten into jeno, he was being much rougher than usual. maybe, it was the pent up frustration from not being able to see you that often; right now, jeno was fucking into you like there was no tomorrow, relishing in the guttural moans you released for him and the fact you were currently scraping your nails down his back unable to control yourself with all the pleasure he was giving you. there was no way you would be walk properly for the next couple of days….

rough jeno would be a treat but let’s just move on before i get too into it-

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

a little above average so, about 6+ inches and pretty thick. jeno has a big dick. i know he does! there is no way he doesn’t. the stretch would be just amazing... his dick, like the rest of him, would be very veiny. he’s also cut (no cocksleeves round here :’( sorry)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

jeno’s young and energetic so he’d have a pretty high sex drive. it would happen a few times a week, if his schedule allowed it. there’s something about you that makes him go crazy.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

depends on the amount of energy he had in the first place and how long you’ve been going for. sometimes he’ll knock out but other times he’ll watch you fall asleep beside him with a beaming smile on his face.

:::

i hope you liked it! again, i do write 00′ liner smut NO CHENSUNG as they are no longer minors so, any hate for it is literally invalid. if you have a problem just block my acc or the tag jeno smut. i’ve tried to keep it off most main tags, for the sake of people that may still be uncomfortable with it. reporting it is not correct or necessary.

#nct #nct smut #jeno #jeno smut #jeno a-z #a-z challenge #a-z analysis #jeno analysis

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tibbinswrites · 5 years

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oh my god I would love a prompt for destiel + 78 (unless u aren't into writing destiel then anything spn is fine 😊) no pressure tho!

Whelp, here it is! Sorry for the wait. I hope you like it. It’s my first attempt at smut and is pretty much all angst (which is why I’ve placed it under the cut).

Destiel is my favourite pairing, I promise! I didn’t write this just to torture them!

You picked SUCH a good prompt, my friend, excellent random number choosing.

(send me a number between 1 and 635 and I’ll write a thing for you)

78. Somewhere back along the line you lost your love and I lost your trust. (Fade Away – Bruce Springsteen)

When Dean pushed through the bead curtain of Cas’ cabin, he didn’t even look surprised to see him lying underneath one of the camp’s other residents, grunting and gasping out encouragement as he was fucked deep and tender. One hand clutched at the guy’s ass, the other slid through his receding hairline. For Cas’ part, it didn’t bother him that Dean had just walked in either, he just glanced in his fearless leader’s direction without his hips even slowing their pace. Dean stood there with his arms folded and looking all kinds of imposing. Cas just rolled his eyes; sex was enjoyable, one of the most enjoyable things he had found, in fact, and Dean was not going to spoil it by being… well… Dean.

“Get out.” Dean said harshly.

Cas cursed as Jeremy practically toppled off (and out of) him in shock, accidentally planting an elbow in his (soft, weak, malleable) stomach.

“Sir!” Jeremy stammered, trying to salute while grabbing for his pants with the other hand. Cas smirked, shifting himself more comfortably against the pillow so he was at least more reclining than lying. He didn’t bother to reach for the sheet, there wasn’t any part of him that Dean hadn’t seen before. He tucked an arm behind his head and tried to affect a coquettish tone.

“Is it your turn now, Commander?” He teased as Jeremy scrambled from the cabin with his fly still open and his shirt unbuttoned.

“Are you the camp whore now, Cas?”

“Of course not, I don’t get paid.” He rolled over to reach his bedside drawer and pulled out a joint and a lighter, not bothering to offer one to Dean, he wouldn’t take it, not anymore. “You couldn’t have waited until we finished?”

He took a deep drag, letting the drug work its magic and sighing as it did. Suddenly his stomach didn’t hurt quite so much, and that brief flash of irritation was soothed away.

“Would you have finished?” Dean said. And it wasn’t a question, merely what passed for his version of a joke now.

Cas snorted obligingly. “One way or another, yes,” he answered anyway.

“Put your pants on.”

“Why? Aren’t you going to just take them off again.”

Dean looked revolted, as though he hadn’t fucked Cas in this very room multiple times.

“I’m not interested in sloppy seconds. And we’ve actually got more important things to think about than your dick.”

Cas took another lazy drag, more just to irritate Dean than because he actually wanted to. The smoke curled in front of his eyes and through the haze he saw Dean’s shape and could almost, almost pretend.

“Are you sure?”

“Cas!” Dean barked.

“Fine.”

Cas dressed one-handed —far more gracefully than Jeremy had, it had to be said (heh, graceful he wasn’t, not anymore, no, he was gracegone, gracedepleted, gracedead) —and after a few minutes he stood in front of his commander, puffing on his joint.

“You sure you’re not paid?” Dean observed, nodding to the weed.

Cas shrugged, “Tokens of appreciation aren’t payment,” he said, “I still let you fuck me and when was the last time you brought me flowers?”

Dean’s entire face seemed to tighten then, he hated it when Cas referred to their naked activities when they were both clothed, or really at all. Honestly, Dean seemed to hate pretty much everything these days. It was getting depressing.

“There’s a run leaving in fifteen.”

“And you made me put on pants for that?” Cas complained. He didn’t go on supply runs anymore, not since Risa had caught him taking whatever those pills had been in the back of the pharmacy they were raiding. She called it reckless and dangerous behaviour that put their whole team at risk; Cas called it efficiency seeing as he only would have taken the drugs back at camp anyway and at least this way he had more space in his pocket for the antibiotics they were supposed to be scavenging for.

Dean hadn’t seen his side of things.

“Lewis and Gregson got got.” Dean said, his voice as blank as his eyes, “There are croats wandering around near camp and I wanna find them before they find any more stragglers on patrol. Provided you’re sober enough to handle a weapon?”

“Never been a problem before,” Cas said with a salacious wink. He’d found it was easier to lean into the blitzed out sex-fiend persona than it was to admit how goddamned horrible everything in his life was (and goddamned indeed, literally. Abandoned, alone and stripped of everything great and righteous and holy that he had ever been).

Dean ignored him. Once he would have seen through Cas’ walls, tried to talk, tried to actually show him some comfort. Even though he had admittedly never been great at feelings, at least he’d had some back then. Now, Cas was pretty sure that Dean’s capacity to care had died when the resulting shockwave of Lucifer taking hold of his true vessel had been transmitted directly (and painfully) into Cas’ brain.

Cas trailed after Dean through camp, not bothering to match his stride, they weren’t equals anymore, not even friends really. Dean hated him, for delivering the news about Sam, for not being able to save him, for being a living, now-breathing, reminder that there was a God and that He didn’t care about the world He professed to love. To Dean, Cas was just another broken promise in his lifetime of trying to pick up the pieces.

He wasn’t making things better for Dean like this, he knew he wasn’t, but Dean wasn’t the only thing who’d lost everything. Cas’ home was gone, his siblings left him without a second thought, his Father renounced him and pulled his power from him and now he was useless and human and the only other person who might have cared suddenly didn’t.

Also, he’d lost two literal limbs and Dean acted as though he should just be able to walk it off. The brief high of orgasm and the longer-lasting bliss of pills was the closest he ever got to flying these days. He resented it as much as he mourned it, hated it as much as he indulged. But hey, the commander had a mission, and Castiel was still a soldier.

It was cold and Cas pulled the jacket a little closer around himself in the grey morning, glad he’d grabbed the thing on the way out and at the same time irritated that that had even been a thought to cross his mind, as though temperature was something he thought of now (it was, apparently).

Risa glared at him when he pushed through the flap of the command tent. Why their base of operations was a tent when their resident bum got the second-biggest cabin, Cas couldn’t even guess. Pity probably; he had changed species after all, he might as well get a double bed.

“Awake then?”

“Up and active, thanks very much.” Cas snarked back, ignoring the bare curl of contempt in her mouth at the implication. He actually liked Risa, despite all her hard edges she did still have something of a heart. She cared about her team at least, enough to know that it was better for everyone if Cas wasn’t involved, and enough to fight Dean on things that she thought were too dumb and suicidal, things that Cas had stopped caring about years ago.

“Who was it this time?”

Cas grinned, “I can’t seem to recall.”

Risa sniffed and turned to Dean, “Is he going to get us killed out there?”

“He’ll be with me.”

Risa pursed her lips and nodded, clearly unhappy but not willing to pursue the argument.

“Okay, so, you’ve got your team ready?” Dean continued, placing his hands on the table. He seemed impatient, itching to get out there and kill some monsters. “You take your team left as you leave camp; Burrows,” he indicated the large man half-hidden in shadow that Cas hadn’t even noticed. Lax of him really, poor observing, especially on a mission where they were going looking for things that wanted to kill them. “will go about fifty feet out. Cas and I will go a hundred and widen the circle. We’ll keep going like that until we flush these things out, got it?”

Burrows gave a jerky nod, Risa muttered a confirmation. Cas said nothing, he’d follow Dean, everything else was irrelevant.

“Then let’s go kill some evil sons of bitches.”

It wasn’t difficult to see why Dean was the leader in the way that the others jumped to do his bidding. He had a presence to him, steel forged with blood, a legacy hard-won and a respect earned. The whole camp bowed to him, followed his word, trusted him to look after them, to take out the infected no matter who they were (or had been). They trusted that he knew what he was doing. He was revered if not liked. He could be harsh and stubborn and didn’t often take the time to explain why people were to do something except ‘because I say so’.

Perhaps it was only because Cas had known him before, but he had actually stopped liking Dean some years ago. He still loved him of course (he didn’t think there was anything in existence that could change that), still respected him, still believed in him, but he couldn’t help but miss the softness that had once been so close to the surface, he missed the easy smiles and laughter that wasn’t spoiled by derision. He missed the jokes and the references he didn’t understand and the music and the car.

Baby had been left to rust under a tree at the edge of camp and every time Cas saw her it felt like there was a hole boring into his abdomen. When they’d first parked her (she was impractical after all, not suited to off-roading and not big enough for a decent supply run), before Sam, Dean had been meticulous in his care of the vehicle. He’d covered her with a tarp when it rained, kept her polished and pristine, turned over her engine to keep her purring, sat inside her, sometimes with Cas next to him, drinking beer and playing through his cassette tape collection.

He missed his Dean, warm and funny and shy and wickedly intelligent, he missed the man who loved to cook, the man who had convinced him that he was worth staying behind for, the man who had kissed him like it meant something.

He had never had sex with that Dean, but he had been more intimate with him in one conversation than in all the things he had done with this cold imitation in front of him now, the one who roughly grabbed his arm to pull him to standing, who thought nothing of leaving bruises on his (now bruiseable) skin, who practically shoved him out the door and towards the armoury.

Once they were geared up, Dean nodded a tense farewell to Risa and Burrows and he and Cas headed out first. The plan was to enter the woods at the same time and to keep an even pace so they could easily find each other should help be needed.

It was stupid of Dean to just take Cas, particularly when the other teams were made up of half a dozen soldiers each, but Cas didn’t question it. Perhaps Dean just wanted a break from being the leader, or perhaps Dean was finally ready to kill him, leading him into the woods and telling him to think of the rabbits before putting a bullet in the back of his head. Cas snorted, a fitting end to his life as any, he supposed.

“What’s funny?” Dean demanded.

“Oh, nothing,” Cas said airily. “Just wondering if this is the part where you kill me.” He grinned at Dean and was surprised to see a flash of something in those cold eyes before he shook his head and turned back to the trees, gun held at the ready.

“I’m not gonna kill you, Cas,” he said quietly.

“Yes you are.” Cas said, as sure of this as he was of anything. “Maybe not today but you are going to be the death of me.”

Dean said nothing to that and Cas frowned at his expression, it was angry, because of course it was, but there was something else there too, guilt? Sadness? Grief?

“Hey,” he said gently, reaching out a hand to run his thumb once over Dean’s cheekbone, and Dean let him, which was more than he expected. “Don’t look like that, it was always my choice. I will die for you, Dean Winchester, and for nothing else.”

Dean pulled away after a moment, his face unreadable once more.

“Eyes open,” he said, beginning to walk again.

Cas followed, his gun at the ready. It was even colder under the trees, the watery sun diluted further by the lush canopy. The earth smelled of damp rot, clean in a way that so little was these days. His boots felt the ground give slightly with each step but thankfully it wasn’t muddy enough to hold him. A slight wind rustled the flora and made him shiver. Dean seemed unperturbed, used to things like cold while Cas was still adjusting, even years later.

He kept his eyes sharp on their surroundings as together they moved deeper into the foliage, falling into step this time, each taking turns to check behind them. There were more places to hide now but croats were unsubtle, they didn’t hide when there was the chance to spread their disease to fresh meat so he wasn’t worried about an ambush so much as he was about missing the signs of approach.

They’d probably passed around a third of the camp before Dean spoke.

“So… Jeremy, huh?”

Cas shrugged, “Among others.”

Dean scoffed, “Are you trying to sleep with everyone in camp?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Dean. Not everyone wants my ‘sloppy seconds’.” He still used fingerquotes sometimes. Partially because it had become a habit, partially because Dean used to find it funny.

Dean grunted at that, flushing slightly, which was honestly more of a reaction than he’d had to pretty much anything in a while.

“Why are we out here anyway?” Cas asked, and it was only a slight complaint, more curiosity than anything. “Everyone smart knows to stay in the camp and everyone who leaves goes with a gun.”

“We’ve got kids back there, Cas. Teenagers. They might be smart but they’re also idiots. They sneak out sometimes, dare each other to scale the walls, have parties a little way out.”

“So why not stop them?”

Dean huffed, “Because they’re kids growin’ up in this shithole of a world. I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to and God knows they deserve to kick back every once in a while, might as well keep them as safe as we can.”

And there it was, the reason that Cas hadn’t swallowed a full bottle of pills and let it end on a literal high. A glimpse of the old Dean, the one that still cared about people, the barest hint of compassion. It was stupid how a bare few seconds of something other than anger could renew Cas’ will to live but whatever. It was enough because it had to be.

“Yes,” he said. “I agree.”

“Besides,” Dean continued as though Cas hadn’t spoken, his voice taking on a sharper tone. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneaking out sometimes too. At least the kids go in a group.”

“I miss the stars.” He confessed, his usual guards lowered by the appearance of what Sam used to call ‘Mother Hen Dean’.

“You can see the starts in camp,” Dean said, though less harshly than he could have. Then he lifted the walkie talkie to his mouth and pushed the button, they must have hit the halfway mark while Cas wasn’t paying attention. “Risa, Burrows, any sign of ’em?”

There was a small crackle of static and then:

“Negative.”

“Not yet, Commander.”

Cas waited until Dean clipped the walkie back to his belt before continuing, suddenly desperate to make Dean understand.

“It’s not seeing the stars that I miss. I miss hearing them, being able to fly among them, being a part of them.”

Dean glanced his way, looking a little disconcerted by his honesty.

“Stars make sound? Isn’t space a vacuum?”

“Not to an angel.”

Dean considered that for a moment, then his eyes flicked to something behind Cas.

“Cas, look-” He started to yell, but the croat was already on him and Cas was on the ground, his head spinning with the too-quick movement and the lingering sluggishness of whatever was still in his system. Then, there was rotten breath on his face and teeth gnashing inches from his nose and he regained his wits long enough to get his hands on the thing’s throat and push it away with all the meagre strength his human (only) form was capable of. One of its filthy, ragged nails raked across his cheek and he yelled, before his hearing whited out in a blast from Dean’s shotgun that took the croat’s head off. Thick blood splattered Cas’ face and shirt and he pushed the thing off and scrambled to his feet, scooping up his own gun and firing at another croat that had just emerged from the trees. He hit it between the eyes and it dropped. Cas had been a warrior for millennia after all, he had excellent aim, even when using human weaponry and possibly a little concussed.

The commotion had apparently attracted more croats though, and it might take a few minutes for Burrows’ team to find them in the brush. Dean whirled around, firing shot after shot with deadly accuracy and Cas followed suit.

Dropping bodies next to Dean everything else fell away: the drudgery of their day-to-day, their struggle for survival, the constant ache between his shoulder blades, none of it mattered because this was where he belonged.

And then Burrows arrived and a few seconds later Risa did too. Together they dispatched the croats from a safe(ish) distance, picking them off as they came into view. Soon there were none left.

Cas spun around to face Dean, grin splitting his face. This was a high in and of itself. It had been so long since he’d been in a battle, fought at Dean’s side, had any kind of purpose that he’d completely forgotten about reality until his eyes landed on Dean’s bloodless face.

“What?” Cas asked, glancing around, counting the soldiers, the bodies. They hadn’t lost anyone as near as he could tell, this was a victory. There was an amount of awkward shuffling and glances away before Cas remembered and then he laughed, gesturing to his cut cheek, which had almost certainly come into contact with some of that first croat’s infected blood. “Oh, I get it. Now is the part where you kill me.”

Dean’s expression twisted into something ugly and painful, then he glanced towards the others, who were watching the two of them with wide eyes.

“Go back to camp.”

“We can’t just leave you out here alone.” Risa said at once, always practical, though she didn’t suggest Dean go back to camp and let them take care of the issue.

“I said go!” Dean repeated, his voice half a growl, half a shout.

Burrows took Risa’s arm and whispered something, then he addressed Dean, “Radio if you need us,” he said. Gesturing for the others to follow as he started walking back in the direction of the camp. One by one the soldiers followed, some hesitating, as though they wanted to say something, goodbyes perhaps? Cas had slept with half of them after all, maybe they felt they owed him something. He waved.

“Bye.”

When it was just the two of them and a dozen or so dead croats, Cas raised his gun. “You know, I can do this myself if you don’t want-”

“Don’t you dare,” Dean growled, striding over to snatch his gun. “We don’t know you’re infected yet.”

“Blood to blood contact is how it’s spread, Dean.” Cas said calmly, wiping his face on his (just as stained) sleeve, though the damage was already done. “I think we can be pretty sure.”

“Well I’m not risking it.”

“It’s more of a risk if I go back to camp.”

“Which is why we’re not going back,” Dean insisted. “We’re waiting this out. Five, six hours and then we’ll know.”

“You don’t have to stay and watch me turn feral,” Cas argued. “In fact, I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Well tough shit.” And with that, Dean turned his back and began to march further into the woods. Cas hurried to follow (because of course he did, why break the habit now?) but Dean didn’t go far, just until they were out of sight (and smell) of the corpses they left behind. Then he leaned against a tree and eyed Cas over. “What do stars sound like anyway?”

Cas smiled. “Like the striking of a match, like a windchime in a hurricane, like ice beginning to crack on a frozen lake.”

“Sounds distracting.”

“I learned to tune it out. But it was nice to have the option, you know?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, staring at Cas like he wasn’t talking about stars. “You goddamn idiot.”

Cas shrugged, rolling with the shift in topic easily. “It was inevitable really, I’m not what I used to be.”

“You don’t care, do you? You might be dead in six hours and you don’t even care.”

“Why should I?”

“Jesus, Cas!”

“I’m no use to anyone. I’m no role model, I’m no leader, I can’t heal and I’m not even a good soldier anymore. I provide nothing and I’m a detriment to the group, a waste of resources. You should look at this as a problem solved.”

“Wow. Fuck you.”

“One last time?” Cas grinned wryly. “I’d love to, Dean, but we probably shouldn’t risk it. Blood might be the main contaminant but we haven’t tested it with semen so-”

“Shut up!” Dean yelled, his hand raising to rake through his hair. “Stop fucking talking like that!”

Cas blinked.

“I’m just trying to be practical.”

“Yeah, well, don’t. This is your life, Cas, stop talking about it like it doesn’t matter!”

It doesn’t. He bit the words back. Instead he raised his hands in surrender and sat down on a fallen log, soft with rot.

“So what, you’re just going to stay with me until I start displaying symptoms?” He tried to keep the hope out of his voice. Selfish it may be but he wanted the last thing he saw to be Dean’s eyes.

“You’re damn straight.” Dean said. “If the virus takes hold you wouldn’t be able to do it. And-” he hesitated, “and if I left you alone then you could go wandering back to camp and convince the guard to let you in after so long, infected or not.” He finished, though Cas had a suspicion that that hadn’t been what Dean was going to say.

“True.” He replied mildly.

Dean gave a gruff nod and leaned more heavily against the tree. They were silent for a while, listening to the sound of birds, the faint wind, the scurrying of small rodents. It was pleasant, more pleasant than it probably should be but Cas felt more at peace with himself now than he had on any number of pills. It was ending. It was over. He was finally done. It was more freeing than he’d expected.

“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, an apology he’d held in for far too long, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t save Sam.”

He remembered the anguished silence when he’d delivered the news, the resulting anger, the punch he hadn’t had the capacity to feel. He remembered feeling hopeless as he watched Dean shatter in slow motion, knowing that if he had the ability to change such a major event he would have given every speck of his grace to make it happen and also knowing that it wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference.

“I’m not doing this now,” Dean said, his voice wavering on the edge of dangerous, a glint of something dark in his eye.

“Now’s sort of the only time I’ve got.”

“Then I’m not doing this, period. I won’t do deathbed confessions here. You might not even be infected, you don’t get last rites yet. We’ve got at least three hours before any of that shit becomes relevant so until then, I’m not doing this. Clear?”

“Fine. What about this weather then? A little cold for August, don’t you think?”

“Cas...” Dean warned.

“What? You don’t want to talk about anything real and I don’t want to spend the last few hours of my life listening to that little huffy thing you do when you’re pissed at me.”

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face and Cas rolled his eyes at the sound of the aforementioned ‘huffy thing’.

“Stop rolling your eyes, I can hear it.”

“Oh really? What do rolling eyes sound like?” Cas teased. He probably shouldn’t find amusement in Dean’s irritation but he was dying so he figured he got a pass.

“Like an annoying asshole sitting three feet away from you.”

“That’s not a sound either, Dean.”

“Shut up.”

***

Three and a half hours later and things were much the same, except Dean now sat on the log and Cas was cross-legged on the ground, doodling nonsense patterns in the mud with a stick. He still hadn’t begun to show any symptoms of the croatoan virus taking hold and he was beginning to get bored; jittery too, he wished he’d brought even a joint with him but the whole mission was supposed to take less than two hours so he hadn’t bothered.

He sighed and used the stick to wipe away his current drawing.

“Having fun there?”

“I’m ecstatic,” Cas deadpanned back. “Are you going to shoot me yet?”

“No.”

***

Four hours and ten minutes in and now Dean was starting to get antsy; he kept checking his watch and looking at Cas and opening his mouth like he really wanted to say something but kept changing his mind last second.

“Just spit it out, Dean.” Cas said after the sixth time this happened.

Dean glared at him for the call-out but took a deep breath anyway, and he wouldn’t quite meet Cas’ eyes as he spoke.

“So it looks like we’re getting into the end of it now but just in case… are there any messages you want me to pass on?”

Cas blinked at him stupidly for a moment, “You’d do that?”

Dean shrugged, feigning casual, “I mean, not if you’re gonna start waxing poetic and shit but, you know, if you’ve got an idea for a will or whatever.”

Cas snorted, “Sure. I bequeath all my toilet paper to Chuck and I’ve got a stash of oxy taped behind the headboard which I’m sure Frank would like back.”

“Okay, if you’re not going to take this seriously-”

“Dean, come on, I know the drill here. I’ll be burned, my cabin will be given to someone else, my stuff will be divided up as most benefits the camp and as my closest friend you get dibs on anything of sentimental value, what else is there?”

“Fine,” Dean spat venomously. “All your crap can burn with you, I don’t want any of it.”

Cas shrugged and looked away, unprepared for the sting that lanced through him at the words; not that he had much Dean would want, a ragged old coat and a few creased polaroids. “I guess that’s up to you.”

***

Another three and a half hours passed in tense silence before Dean finally stood from the log. It was well past noon now and Cas’ stomach had been cramping for the past fifteen minutes. He tried to remember the last time he ate, he still forgot that that was something he needed to do now.

Sunlight speckled the ground with golden spotlights and everything looked just that little bit greener in the sun. It was warm enough now that both Dean and Cas had taken off their jackets.

“Right, I’m calling it. It’s been over seven hours and you’ve not tried to eat me. Looks like you got lucky.”

Cas levered himself to his feet using the moss-covered trunk behind him, thoroughly confused. There was no reason he wouldn’t be infected, he had an open wound on his face and had been covered in contaminated blood, he should have succumbed to the disease hours ago.

“Maybe it’s because I used to be an angel,” he guessed, touching the cut on his face. “Vessels often have a faint sense of grace about them even after the angel’s departure.”

“Sure, let’s go with that.” Dean said, completely uninterested now that there was no danger. He was still as tense as a coiled spring though, an air of energy tightly controlled but primed to explode at any second.

“Either way, it saves building a pyre. I daresay the firewood will be of more use in a month or so.”

He said it partially for the reaction, because he knew that Dean needed to be pushed or he’d take his anger out on someone who didn’t deserve it. He also said it because for the past few hours, Dean had been fidgety and quiet, distant and present at the same time. He hadn’t been barking orders or throwing out insults or disgusted looks, he’d been… almost worried and that was far too disconcerting for Cas’ (not as high as he wanted to be) brain to handle right now.

Whatever his reasons for saying it, it worked, Dean was on him in the time he took to blink, one hand pawing beneath his shirt, the other holding his head in place while Dean attacked his mouth, biting and sucking, teeth clacking against teeth.

Cas allowed himself to be ravaged, craved it even. It still looked like Dean after all, even smelled like him beneath harsh soap of the camp. There was nothing gentle in it, there was nothing gentle in Dean anymore, but it made him feel more than all of the careful lovers and all the drugs combined. He welcomed the pain as he kissed back, just as feral, his hands going at once for Dean’s pants, expertly popping the button and pulling down the zip without looking. Dean pressed him back until his spine hit the tree trunk and then he pressed further still, grinding the hardening outline of his cock against Castiel’s.

Cas gasped, his head falling back against the tree with a thunk and Dean took advantage of the opening, latching his teeth onto Cas’ neck and clamping down, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to leave a mark. Cas’s fingers danced upwards, under Dean’s shirt, mapping the firm muscles, the slight jut of his ribs, memorising the shape as he had so long ago, assembling Dean atom by atom until he was whole again. He wished he could do that now.

His questing fingers found a nipple and he pinched, rolling the nub tightly between his fingers. Dean let out a growl and pulled back to spin Cas around, slamming him back into the tree and yanking down his pants.

“Dean,” Cas panted, reaching behind him to pull Dean closer.

Instead of obliging, Dean took Cas’ hands and placed them on the tree before jerking him back by his hips, pressing bruises into the skin. Cas scrambled for a moment to regain his balance but didn’t protest, ultimately it would probably be more comfortable this way.

He heard a hacking sound as Dean spit on his hand, and then he flinched when that hand wrapped firmly around his cock, beginning to jerk him slow and hard, twisting on every upstroke. He moaned, loud and unashamed, before biting at his own bottom lip, feeling sweat beginning to gather at the base of his neck until a rough tongue licked it away.

Dean nipped at him playfully and then reached his other hand around to tap two fingers against Cas’ lips, his chest warm and solid against the line of Cas’ back.

“Open up.”

Cas obeyed, licking around the digits, trying to cover them with as much saliva as he could, he knew this game well.

Once Dean was satisfied he pulled his fingers free with a wet pop and then, still squeezing Cas’ dick with one hand, wiped them over his own cock, slicking himself up as well as he could in the middle of the woods a hundred feet from camp.

Cas whimpered as he felt the blunt head prod at his hole and winced when Dean began to apply pressure, refocusing on the pleasure from Dean’s hand until he relaxed enough to allow Dean entry. Dean breached him with a grunt, sliding halfway in all at once, pausing there for only a few seconds before beginning to move deeper.

Cas whined, feeling the wind on his skin at the same time as Dean’s cock splitting him open was an overload of sensation and he loved it. Dean’s rhythm on Cas’ cock faltered as he focused his attention on fucking him instead but Cas didn’t mind, he didn’t need it in order to come anyway.

“Fuck.” Dean breathed as he bottomed out, rocking his hips without withdrawing as through trying to push himself deeper still.

“Yes,” Cas agreed. “That does seem to be what we’re doing.”

He could feel the glare on the back of his head.

“Shut up.” Dean said, shifting his hips back only to slam them forward again, nudging against his prostate and making Cas shudder.

“Make me,” he whispered.

So Dean did. He quickly set up a brutal pace and although he didn’t succeed in silencing Cas completely, the force of his thrusts kept knocking the breath from his lungs so that he could no longer form full sentences.

“Yeah, Dean, aah, just like-, yes!”

It was like his blood had been replaced with liquid fire. The lack of any real lube adding a hint of discomfort-on-the-edge-of-pain that made Cas want to scream. He bashed his fist against the trunk and desperately tried to push himself back to meet Dean’s every thrust. It was so good, it was just what he needed, one of Dean’s hands gripping his hip, the other on his shoulder, using him as leverage, using him to chase his own pleasure. Their breathing was ragged and too-loud and Cas was glad of the dense greenery that seemed to soak up all sound, keeping this moment theirs and theirs alone.

Shifting the angle slightly, Dean hit his prostate again and Cas keened, raising his eyes to the sky even as his shaking legs threatened to send him to the ground. His chest heaved, his ass ached, his dick throbbed, but Dean was there, Dean was looking at him, Dean was inside him, Dean was touching him as though he wasn’t something filthy to be avoided.

“Yes,” he urged, feeling that curl of pleasure low in his belly, chasing it with every thrust of Dean’s cock, “So close, Dean. Come on, fuck me.”

Dean grunted and his grip tightened, slamming impossibly harder into him while Cas moaned and whined and pushed back with what little (human) strength he could muster. He was so full, it was so good, his nerves were firing off lightning-

And then he was flying, bliss covered him like a soft blanket and he was among the stars once more, his wings were heavy and comforting on his back, his eyes opened to colours that humans didn’t even have a name for. He was strong and eternal and sure of his purpose and he had Dean, the most brilliant soul ever created, and he would guard him and guide him and love him and be loved in return...

Dean groaned loudly in Cas’ ear as he gave one last thrust and as spilled deep inside of him, plastering himself to Cas’ back for a few seconds while they both rode the aftershocks of their respective orgasms.

And then it was over. Cas hissed when Dean pulled out and then he slumped to the ground, boneless and sore and more frustrated than ever. Tears stung his eyes and he slammed his fist into the tree again, screamed, hit the tree again and again until his knuckles were bloody and he couldn’t breathe through his sobs. It was always the intense orgasms that drew this out of him; for one, glorious moment he had believed again, everything had been beautiful and right and clear. But now the moment was gone and he was back in the mud, just trying to coax air into his uncooperative lungs while Dean watched him impassively, buttoning up his pants.

“Somewhere back along the line you lost your love and I lost your trust,” he said quietly when he’d regained at least a measure of control over his body. He felt empty now, drained. How could sex so good leave him so damn hopeless?

Dean frowned at him. “Are you quoting Springsteen at me?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before taking Cas under the elbow and hauling him to his unsteady feet. He even bent to pull up his pants for him, which had tangled themselves around his ankles.

And it was moments like these that usually brought a spark back to Cas’ life, evidence that the Dean he loved hadn’t been completely eradicated when Sam let the devil in.

But they were only moments, as fleeting as they were uncertain. Neither of them were what they had once been. The most beautiful soul in existence was tarnished and ugly, incapable of love, the emotion that had once come to him so easily, and Castiel, Angel of the Lord, bore that title no longer, unfit to do anything but seek relief in moments, unable to earn back the trust of the Righteous Man that he had squandered when he’d failed Sam.

“Let’s head back, I’m starving.” Dean said, scooping up their jackets and guns and handing Cas’ back to him before turning on his heel and heading back towards camp without a backwards glance.

Cas took a moment to steel himself before following.

Hope, he decided suddenly, was not something worth having. Not in this universe.

If you liked this, please consider buying me a coffee, or send me your own prompt.

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verobatto · 5 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XIX)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Tell me the Truth

(6x04/6x05/6x06/6x07/6x08/6x13)

Hello my dear! How have you been? I'm here with another volume from this Chronicles.

This time I want to talk about the truth as a recurrent topic in the first half of this season.

I'm gonna mix some bi Dean concept too, this will be mostly a Dean centric meta.

O want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder , she couldn't make me the gifs for this meta but we discussed a lot about this topic. Thank you girl!

Let's start...

Saying goodbye to Lisa and Ben

Ok, I will collect here an amount of observations I made in several chapters in which we can see Dean breaking up with Lisa and Ben as his family.

In episode 6x06 Live Free or Twihard , calling back to 6x02, we had Dean feeling himself a monster and becoming one.

At the beginning of the episode, the Winchester brothers went to investigate to a house, a girl's room, vampires fan. Dean found a book and this is what he reads...

DEAN. Look at this. He's WATCHING her sleep. How is that not rape-y?

This is very significant because when Dean is turning into a vampire, he decided to go visit Lisa and Ben to say goodbye... So when he arrives, he just stays there by Lisa's bed watching her sleep. As a real monster. After this we all recall he pushed Ben violently and ran away. This was the beginning of the end.

In episode 6x06 "You can't handle the truth" written by Sera Gamble, even when it was a very Wincest episode, it had a very interesting topic about ASKING THE TRUTH YOU CAN'T EFFORT.

And related with Lisa here, he called her, and because he had asked for the truth, he receives the truth from her. A very hard one. She snapped at him this...

LISA: You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down, and you push it down. Do you honestly think that you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just, what, drink half a fifth a night and you're good?

DEAN: You knew what you signed up for.

Dean is excusing himself with her, she knew, he's like this. He won't change. Hunting is his life.

LISA: Yeah. But I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay. I am. But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.That came out so much harsher than I meant.

Here, we have the pathologic codependency between them, but as it was written, and here's my opinion, is screaming Wincest all over, we know Sera was a fervent fan of the boys, and this doesn't surprises me. Lisa is being very hard and honest with Dean. Things are not Al right between them.

DEAN: It's not your fault.

LISA: I'm not saying don't be close to Sam. I'm close to my sister. But if she got killed, I wouldn't bring her back from the dead!

DEAN: Okay, Lis... I'm not gonna lie. Okay, me and Sam, we... we've got issues. No doubt. But you and Ben --

Here is Dean saying "Everything you had just said is truth", so more Wincest for the bag.

LISA: Me and Ben can't be in this with you. I'm sorry.

And this was the end for sure.

In this same episode, we had this scene...

Gif set credit @paladeckis

The woman is dressed in lavanda color, si, basically, is a Lisa's mirror here,asking for a lot of attention and Dean is giving her that not very hopeful answer... So yeah, Dean had decided which life he wants for him. Maybe, and as I said before, he doesn't feel he deserves a good life, or maybe because he feels like a dangerous monster that can destroy good things.

Now... Let's jump to 6x07 "Family Matters"...

There's a singular quote by the Alpha Vampire:

DEAN: I didn't realize we were on a first-name basis.

ALPHA VAMPIRE: Of course we are. After all, you were my child... for a time. Dean, tell me... did you enjoy it?

Ok, I know this is a creepy way to see it, but... Immediately after episode 6x06 we had this. And beacuse Dean is in the break up process with Lisa and Ben, this could be taken as a Dean/Ben mirror... Ben was the "monster's son" for a while, or at least that way is how Dean see it inside of him. So, symbolically, we are talking about that here.

Now... Episode 6x08 "All dogs go to Heaven" a very blantant Dean mirror with the dog-man here... First of all... Remember the monster watching in silence while the woman sleeps?? We have the same again here... The dog-man (skinwalker) his name was Lucky.

There was interesting words exchanging between Dean and Lucky, and please pay attention to Dean's speech...

DEAN: Hang on, Sam. [to LUCKY (MAN)] Listen, you don't have to tell me why you're with the family. I get it.

LUCKY (MAN): Oh, you do, do you?

DEAN: You killed every threat that came near them. You care about them, in your own whack-a-doodle kind of way. It's obvious. What I want to know is, who was that guy you were kibitzing with? He a skinwalker, too?

So... Isn't it Dean talking to himself? Do he feel like a abandoned and hurted dog that needed a refuge? A family? Now... Check this other quote...

DEAN: What are you gonna do to that family, really? You gonna put your jaws around that little boy's throat? Clamp down, listen to him cry for his mom? 'Cause I'm gonna guess that these are the only people who in your pathetic life have ever showed you any kindness. So it's either that... or you can help us stop it.

Again, the scene of Dean pushing Ben against the wall when he was about to transform into a vampire (a monster) and then... Again talking to himself. Is so blantant that my heart broke instantly...

After this, Dean decided not to shoot him bc he knew that dog was him... But things didn't end well for Lucky...

When he tries to come back to Mandy and her son, this is what happened...

MANDY: Get away from this house, you psycho. And if you ever, ever come near me or my son again, so help me...

LUCKY (MAN): I know I probably deserve...

MANDY closes and locks the door.

This is the end for the monster that wanted to have a family, the difference here is... Dean really wanted to have this kind of life?

And the answer we already know...

Gif set credit @frozen-delight

Dean is puting salt on the windows while he's saying he's out... Tell the truth Dean.

And in 6x13 "Unforgettable" Dean said another thing to his brother (to himself) to put a final period here...

DEAN: Sam, y-y-you got to understand that all that crap last year -- all of it -- none of it was you.

Ok Dean, we get it. This last year trying to be a man with a normal life and family, it wasn't you. It was a lie.

Sam's lies and foreshadowing Castiel's secrets

Before to continuó with this meta... I promised you some bi-Dean scene... Here you have.

Look how Dean checks out the police man and he even greeted him that way. As we know... Dean likes uniforms... 😉 (This gif was made by my gorgeous friend Agus!)

Ok... Let's start with the brothers here...

We all recall that scene when Sam just watched as Dean was turned into a vampire. Ok... So Dean saw it too. And that was one of his biggest alarms about his brother. This happened in episode 6x05.

In episode 6x06, another interesting parallel with the Winchesters brother and Sam's lies.

SAM: You know what a "tell" is?

OLIVIA: Excuse me?

SAM: It's a poker term... for when you're bluffing. Like what you just did with your hair.

OLIVIA: What are you trying to say?

SAM: You're lying.

DEAN is surprised at the force of SAM's inquiry.

OLIVIA: What?!

SAM: Tell us what you did to your sister.

Ok big parallel each time Dean wanted to obtain the truth about what happened with the vampire and why he didn't take care of him.

So after this we had the big scene with VERITAS, and very very WINCEST thing right here...

Gif credit @whiskeyandwhine

Look at their hands touching... Yep very disgusting and very Sera Gamble era. 😒 I'm just pointing things here for you to see what this woman wanted to do with the show.

Let's see continue now with CAS.

In this same episode we had another confession that could be analyze as a parallel and foreshadow of Castiel and his secrets.

SAM: So, you had some idea Corey might have taken her own life?

ROOMMATE: Well... she had been going through a bit of a hard time lately... at school. And then, um, her cat, Mittens, had just ran away. But, really, it was her boyfriend. She was sure that he was cheating on her. But he was just very good at covering his tracks. Which, of course, made her completely obsessed with --

Ok we are here talking about Castiel... The "boyfriend" term will be use by Balthazar twice, one with Dean and the other with Sam, referencing to Castiel. Castiel is the boyfriend, and he is cheating on Dean and Sam.

Gif credit @never-forget-viva-la-pluto

Gif set credit @sam-spirit-winchester

Also, making Balthazar calling Castiel as the Winchesters's boyfriend, equally... Another SERA GAMBLE tool, "look Cas isn't Dean's boyfriend, is Sammy's boyfriend too, so... Is irrelevant."

Episode 6x07 we had the boys discovering SAMUEL was working for Crowley, so the entire episode is a big foreshadow of what was about to happen when Dean, Sam and Bobby discover Castiel's deal with the King of Hell. And is also the episode in which the idea about Purgatory and the power of souls is presented.

And ironically, we'll have Dean and Sam literally working for Crowley too, so ... A little hole in the narrative here... But hey... We don't talk about this Season, don't we?

To conclude

Dean asked for the truth and he had it with his brother and he will have it with Castiel, the problem is... Is he ready to handle it?

The first half of the season was a foreshadow for Castiel's secret and we could see in many episodes how the writers showed us what Dean felt by leaving Ben and Lisa and how he will have to handle with a big betrayal.

In Sera Gamble era we had a lot of references to Wincest and holes in the narrative, that we will see more often in the incoming episodes.

I hope you like this! C-u in the next Chronicles!

Tagging

@magnificent-winged-beast

@emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous season 6 Chronicles, the links are here: XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII.

Buenos Aires July 11st 2019 1:47 AM

#destiel chronicles #supernatural meta #destiel meta #season 6 meta #vol. XIX

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armsdealing · 4 years

Note

6, 9, 16, 19, 26, 29, 36

be honest / accepting / @inkokeli

9 and 29 i’ll answer in a different ask as to not make this reply too lengthy!

6. do you prefer writing male muses or female more? why?

i’ve always written more male muses than female ones. i’ve always written more male characters, period. it has always been like that. i started writing at around the same ages i was figuring out my sexuality, when i was more certain i was gay than anything else (i consider myself bisexual right now) and one way for me to explore this in a safe manner was to read and write about men, who happened to like other guys. so my focus has not only always been in men, but in gay or bisexual men.

this translated into my roleplaying, which is something i’ve always been quite self-aware of. i overthink myself a lot, and when i am coming up with a new character, i worry if it’s really necessary for me to worry about yet another male muse, and likewise i try to put special focus on my female characters’ development. i especially appreciate when people show interest in any of my girls tbh, and i try to give other people’s female characters my focus and appreciation. the same applies to nb characters, too.

16. if you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? why?

any of the gross attitudes and opinions the rpc loves to flaunt when it thinks you’re not looking.

19. do you delete anon hate or post and address it? why?

in all my years of being in the rpc (and that’s since 2012, iirc), i’ve never gotten anon hate. i’m not sure why. maybe i’m just too quiet! maybe i’m just too secluded or irrelevant. maybe i’m just lovely. closest thing i’ve gotten are anons (allegedly from people i know) hurt about me not giving them enough attention, and that’s about it. i have a bad track record of people getting crazily possessive over me.

if i were to ever get anon hate, i’m not sure what i would do about it. depends on why i’m being hated on, i guess! however, i’d like to believe that people would sooner approach me privately with their concerns than hit the anon button. i believe in giving people this courtesy, before going onto making problems public. i am a private person, and believe that if the goal is to solve misunderstandings, a one-on-one approach is best. a public argument is tense by very nature. it’s less about solutions, and more about having an audience – which might be necessary in certain situations, but detrimental in others.

26. how do you feel about vague posting?

what i have been victim of is extreme amounts of vagueposting in the past, all done by people i’ve considered good friends of mine. again, born out of jealousy and them feeling entitled to my attention/time/communication. if people think vagueposting is harmless they need to reevaluate themselves. that shit pushed me to the point of having anxiety attacks. i couldn’t even post without feeling like i had a weight tied to my esophagus. i despise vagueposting, and i refuse to partake in it. i get it if sometimes you need to vent about things and problems, but i don’t believe in passive-aggressiveness. either u passive or u aggressive, pick one. if someone makes you uncomfortable, approach them! if you don’t want to/are too shy, block them! keep your experience enjoyable.

36. what’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

a lot of people seem off put by model and singer fcs and like… these are people i cannot roleplay with. maybe it doesn’t look much like it with my current active roster, but i use a lot of models. my flagship character has a singer fc. i believe there’s a lot of prejudice regarding the use of these fcs, and many reasons that don’t really hold up to scrutiny. it has seemingly died down over the years, for which i’m glad.

#thank you for sending me this!#answered ooc.#inkokeli

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

Text

Sonic Movie Does A U-Turn - Quill’s Scribbles

Okay, so I’m actually writing a whole other Scribble about the Sonic the Hedgehog movie and about live action/CGI hybrid movies in general, which I’m hoping to have finished by tomorrow, but some news has come out and I know for a fact people are going to use it as a stick to try and beat me with even though it’s completely irrelevant to what I have to say, so I’m going to talk about it now.

So live action Sonic the Hedgehog is hideous. That’s pretty much an objective fact. He looks like something that came out of Andy Serkis’ arse after he ate the mo-cap dots and gave himself a stomach bug. Well apparently the fan and critical backlash has been so extreme that the director Jeff Fowler has gone on Twitter and vowed to change the design.

Now this isn’t the first time a movie was changed in post production in response to audience feedback. After the critical failure of Batman V Superman, Warner Bros and DC hired an editing team that usually does movie trailers to recut the film Suicide Squad to make it more like Marvel, which of course resulted in the misogynistic technicolor shitshow we ended up with. (In other words, it’s exactly like a Marvel movie. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!! I’M SO EDGY!). But Sonic feels significant because of the amount of backlash and the sheer size of the change the filmmakers are now having to implement. We’re not talking editing scenes or doing CGI touch ups. We’re talking a full remodelling of a very prominent CGI character. That’s going to take quite a bit of money and overtime to complete before the November release date.

So this is good news I guess. We’re getting a live action Sonic that’s closer to the iconic design from the games. That’s all well and good... but only if it’s worth the extra effort and let’s be brutally honest, it really doesn’t seem like it.

Sonic The Hedgehog Of The Opera is really just one problem in a sea of problems. You’ve all seen the trailer, right? Yes Sonic The Hedgehog Of Notre Dame is hideous, but what about all the other shit in the trailer? The unfunny jokes? The generic premise? The cringeworthy music choice? Jim Carrey being an obnoxious tool? A Sonic redesign isn’t going to change that. Those bits are still bad. Honestly I think this film is dead on arrival and it’s not really worth the effort fixing Sonic at this point. You only get to make one first impression and this was it. This is without a doubt one of the worst trailers I think I’ve ever seen and everyone involved in this movie, who worked on this movie or are even associated with this movie should be incredibly embarrassed by this. And that’s including Tim Miller.

Yeah! The director of Deadpool is the executive producer of this film! Not only that, he approved the design! In an interview with IGN, he said:

"It would be weird and it would feel like he was running around nude if he was some sort of otter-like thing. It was always, for us, fur, and we never considered anything different. It's part of what integrates him into the real world and makes him a real creature."

Tim... he’s wearing running shoes. I think the boat has sailed on the realism front, don’t you?

Apparently Sega and Sonic Team weren’t too happy with the design, particularly the eyes, and that’s really the main thing about all this that’s confusing me. How the fuck did this design get approved? Did no one on the production team or at the executive level say ‘hang on a minute, this looks a bit iffy’? Did no one at least question why they were making such a drastic change to such an iconic design? What about Sega? Why didn’t they put their foot down when they saw the initial design? It’s not like they’re powerless. They’re co-producing this thing. Guys... what the hell happened?

Now there’s a bit of a conspiracy theory going around suggesting that this is all a marketing ploy. That the trailer and Sonic design was deliberately shit in order to drum up publicity. I can see why people think that, but I very much doubt that’s the case. For one thing, it’s one hell of a gamble releasing a trailer that’s deliberately shit just to get people talking. Like I said, you only get to make one first impression. Even if and when they reveal the revamped look, they’re going to have a heck of a job winning people over again, especially those who weren’t really sold on this film to begin with. But also it doesn’t change the fact that the studios are going to have to spend time and money redesigning Sonic and implement the new design into already completed footage. There’s no way any studio would waste that much time and money on a concept they didn’t think was saleable. And that’s really the source of this whole conspiracy, isn’t it? People understandably can’t wrap their heads around the idea that the filmmakers legitimately thought that this design was good. It’s simply mind-boggling that anyone would approve such an obviously bad design, and yet wonders never cease.

So there’s a chance Sonic might actually look like Sonic in a few months time. That’s nice. But it doesn’t matter if the film isn’t good and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my doubts. Based on that trailer, this looks set to be this generation’s Super Mario Bros movie, which is a shame because out of all the movie adaptations of video games we’ve had, Sonic is the one with the most potential to succeed. I think the premise would translate so well to the big screen. If only the film was being made by competent filmmakers.

Sigh. I don’t know. Fingers crossed, eh?

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog movie #quill's scribbles

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xoruffitup · 6 years

Video

youtube

Just want to flail over Adam’s parts? People, I AM HERE FOR YOU. Here’s a time-stamped cheat sheet of Adam’s comments and generally precious moments. (Basically Round 2 of my overall flaily recap of this panel right after it happened.)

I start the video and my heart freaks out remembering when he first walked on stage. Get me a paper bag before I pass out... His little ‘Hello!’ and one-handed wave when he walked out I was already deceased.

1:35 - Everyone please just watch this adorable tall man awkwardly sit and fidget and bite his lip and make his oh god public attention face

11:25 - Adam makes no judgments about his character’s morality. He empathizes more with Ben Stiller’s character in the While We’re Young film than with his own, but recognizes that his own feelings about the character are irrelevant; as are his feelings about his own performance.

“It’s not about me feeling it, it’s about an audience feeling it.”

I’m constantly struck by his humility and maturity in always thinking of himself as only a small part in every film project, regardless of how large his role might be. He’s hyper-aware that none of it is about him, and becomes uncomfortable when people try to make it so. Although he explains here that he relates to the “debilitating” pressure to play a role correctly or authentically, and we know that he constantly over-thinks and scrutinizes his own work to the point of not being able to watch himself on film; He also recognizes his personal gratification with his performance comes second to the overall story being told. Internally, he might hold himself to high personal standards, but he never presumes those standards should be projected on anyone else. He finishes this answer with “Who am I to say if they’re right or wrong?” (If audiences respond to a less authentic version of a work.)

I would love to hear him answer this same question about Kylo’s character.

27:50 (One of the moments when I had to physically restrain myself from flailing in my seat because he’s so damn presh) - The moderator tried to “bring back Adam” because he’d hardly spoken so far, and Adam goes “I’m good, I’m good.” Ben Stiller interjected, “Can I just say something about acting with Adam?” and Adam immediately shakes his head and waves his hand in a silent “Please no”, but then very magnanimously tells Ben to go ahead, even while squirming in his seat a tiny bit while Ben talked about him.

29:00 - Adam says Noah’s writing is very “theatrical.” I did find it interesting how he talked here about a whole range of different potential meanings within the same words of a script, depending on how they’re delivered. I also love when he talks about working in theatre, just because I have a soft spot for stage actors.

(Watching this whole video back makes me realize Adam really did quite effortlessly and unconsciously charm the audience (not just me), even speaking so little compared to the other panelists. I remembered clearly when he had his ~showdown with the moderator towards the end the audience was 100% on his side, clapping for him, but generally there are so many audience laughs for the little self-deprecating jokes Adam mixes into all his answers.)

31:10 (Alert alert, fangirl moment) - Perfect capture of how he fiddles with his fingers and listens so attentively.

33:28 - THAT L A U G H

35:08 - My other favorite funny/presh moment! “There’s humor in doing the same things in life and still trying to make them more efficient... Like I still don’t think I’ve ever gotten into a car the right way.” (Confused audience laughter?) Then Adam gets serious with chagrin right away like “...that was a bad example...” (Audience continues laughing with him even though most people probably don’t get it.) He made a last-ditch effort to explain himself by saying “the Tesla” - but didn’t quite get to fully explain that he was referring to the uber-modern Tesla car that was driving him around the island over the weekend. Regardless, everyone found it amusing and I was there like I stan a man who can’t get into a car right WHAT A GEM

36:27 (Alert alert, another fangirl moment) - Everyone please just watch him take a drink of water. Why every single damn thing he did was totally mesmerizing to me I don’t know, but you’ll thank me later.

46:13 - The moderator mentions Paterson screened at the Nantucket Film Festival several years ago. Adorable moment where he goes to start listing all the famous people from Paterson and has to give up with “...and a bunch of other people I can’t remember right now.”

47:10 - Hilarious moment but first strike against the narrator. Ben Stiller had to ask Chris Matthews if Paterson was the first movie he’d seen Adam in because yeah, he’d kind of been neglecting Adam a bit (not that Adam minded, clearly), but Ben went “...he’s also in Star Wars,” and the whole place cracked up.

49:10 - Non-Adam moment, but I was really intrigued with Noah Baumbach’s comment here, talking about developing his dialogue and how “there’s communication, and then there’s talking.”

50:10 - THIS IS IT, FOLKS, THE GOLD MINE OF ADAM CHARM AND SASS. THE LEGENDARY MOMENT IS NEARING. Watch Adam’s life flashing before his eyes in a panic when the question “Who is the most influential person in your life” is suddenly thrown at him. He wasn’t ready for this!! (Although great question, Rea, so glad it was asked!) Then after he says he’ll pass on the question, you can see him basically flying to Mars in his head pondering. Then the cuteness and laughter when he announces he does have an answer!! He was 1000% the whole audience’s darling by this point. Then his answer is basically, “Listen to how insightful my wife is because she’s the best.” Then after boasting about his wife it’s right back to his modest self: “On to the next question and then I’ll finish this monologue...”

LOOK, okay he wasn’t even talking for that long! He’d given what, 3 answers before this during the whole hour-long panel?! The moderator himself blabbed at least twice as much. I was loving this monologue because it was the first time Adam was actually talking for an extended time. But apparently we can’t have nice things becomes here comes Mr. Rude-ass, Clueless Moderator...

(Also, Ben and Noah were 100% engaged with what Adam was saying so literally this was only the moderator’s problem...)

52:32 - The moderator audibly sighs into his microphone in the middle of Adam’s “monologue” and I’m SO glad Adam unpretentiously called him out: “.....Are you bored by my answer?” The whole audience laughed in sympathy with him because it was so weird and rude? Then Adam went on to be even more of a clever QT like: “You were thinking about another question? That’s what I was doing during your answers...” And the man is so straight-faced about it you genuinely can’t even tell if he purposefully meant that well-done, five-course ROAST.

I cringe so hard at this memory I can barely watch it back, but ughhhh queue the moderator interrupting Adam’s attempt to resume his answer, with some bullshit about Jeff Goldblum... What even? Jeff Goldblum was mentioned once in the panel previously, but wtf how does your mind go there when Adam Driver is giving a painfully earnest, precious, and over-thought monologue for you???

52:50 - “...SO STAR WARS.” BOOM. In three words Chris Matthews has been KO’d. omg look at the almost proud look on Noah’s face like yeah you tell him bb and Ben’s cracking up, and the whole audience flips out like DAMN, SAVAGE!!!

(Also for ~context reference, walking out from the auditorium afterwards, I remember overhearing two guys saying to each other “Chris Matthews was like one of those old guys who just blurts whatever’s going through his head.” “Yeah but you’d think when you’re talking to Adam Driver you’d be more respectful and reign it in.” and in my head I was like DAMN RIGHT. Watching this whole thing back, Matthews gets on my nerves basically the whole time. He seems to enjoy hearing himself talk so much that he forgot what a moderator’s actual job is.)

58:40 - Adam’s advice to aspiring filmmakers about the usefulness of going to school, getting a firm foundation in your craft, and having the insulated space to fail and build yourself.

Just so I can ~complete my revisiting of this whole experience~, I’ll add this photo taken by @wherethepastaat aka Rea aka https://twitter.com/cosmicreas in the parking lot outside after the event. I love her for asking the incredible question that gave us a world-class #SassybutClassy Adam moment, and also for snapping this A+ covert photo documenting the referenced Tesla car that caused Adam so much stress about how to get in it correctly. (Joanne’s getting in before him.)

I also owe her my firstborn because she inadvertently GOT ME IN THE PHOTO WITH ADAM!! That shoulder in the pink tank top directly behind him? THAT’S ME. THAT’S ME AND ADAM. IN THE SAME PHOTO. DEEP BREATHING, OKAY. Now I can always prove that I really was that close to him! (He came by even closer when he walked down the sidewalk. No, a month later I still have not gotten over it even .00001% percent.)

Admittedly, there have been brief moments where I berate myself like ‘ugh why didn’t you ask for a photo?!’ but A) I was frozen in awe for the 10 seconds he was in front of me (pretended to be on my phone so I wasn’t overtly staring, lol) and B) You can see in this photo that there were a bunch of people milling around. If I’d asked him to stop, he probably would have gotten stuck taking pics with lots of people. I did the right thing AND got to witness more wholesome Adam moments as he was leaving!

Once again, Rea I owe you a gift basket because I am SO glad I got to witness when you/your brother called ‘Bye!’ to Adam from your car and your dad called “Hi Kylo!” and ADAM RESPONDED, smiled and waved and said ‘Hi Thanks!’ back. IT WAS SO PURE I CRY AT THE MEMORY.

All in all, despite the fact that Adam didn’t actually talk that much on the panel, it was still a 100% Quality Event and I still think about it daily. :’) My Adam crush has morphed into an all-consuming real-life thing that I do my best to control but look, a girl can only do so much in the face of THIS. I AM ONLY HUMAN, ADAM.

#Adam Driver #Nantucket Film Festival #gettin hella fangirly once again #driverdaily

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discoursedumpster · 7 years

Text

tw: child sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, suicide-baiting, transmisogyny

I never do call-outs ‘cause they take forever, but this has to stop.

@sleepdontvisit claims they’re on a campaign to root out “inclusionist pedophiles and pedophile apologists.”

Instead, they almost exclusively target bi trans sexual abuse survivors, frequently flat-out lying about what those survivors have said.

(In their whole call-out list, there’s only two people who aren’t trans. And the cis people only get called out for supporting “pedophile apologists,” they aren’t calling the cis people pedophiles.)

They consistently link to receipts that don’t support their statements, knowing that people won’t click through and read all that.

Many of their call-outs have hundreds of notes, and have goaded exclusionists and even some inclusionists into sending anon hate, suicide-baiting, and death threats to inclusionists who are bi trans sexual abuse survivors.

It’s not a coincidence that bi and trans people (especially trans women) are the ones that are most frequently stereotyped as sexual predators, in both the gay and straight communities.

(DID U KNOW: Part of the reason that the acronym wasn’t “LGB” till the early 90s was that radical lesbians said bi men shouldn’t be allowed at Pride because they were rapists.)

It might be relevant that sleepdontvisit seems to be very biphobic, saying things like, “Why are literally all of the big bisexual bloggers literally the most cringeworthy people I have ever encountered?”

there are two lesbians on their list, out of all the bi people.

they’re both trans women.

And now they’ve begun going around harassing trans inclusionist survivors who haven’t heard of their campaign, by implying that they’re “pedophile apologists” too if they haven’t called out these people yet. Or if they say that it’s not okay to call CSA survivors “pedophile apologists.”

They guilt-trip and threaten anyone who won’t help them in their smear campaign, even discoursers who are calling out individual people already. They are goading exclusionists to harass these people. One of their victims has already deleted, that I know of.

When one survivor called them out for things like posting content about pedophilia in the ace positivity tag, their response was to go through that person’s blog and list everyone they’d reblogged from who themselves had ever reblogged from one of the people on the list. Which may have been well-intended but comes off as intensely harassing.

And then they falsely claimed that "ace/aro minors… are being told by adults that it’s ‘normal’ for children to be sexual, so it’s important for them to identify as asexual.”

(That person even said “If you’d like, I can give you a list of exclusionists that none of you are no-platforming (and one of which went hand-in-hand with discourseprincesa and doing just as much harm but is still being defended)” and instead of taking the information, they ignored it, and instead tagged another post to boast that inclusionists ignore callouts but exclusionists call out all their TERFs. I know for sure that one isn’t true, @allosexisterfs is mine and it contains a list of about 250 exclusionist TERFs, that sleepdontvisit hasn’t said a word about that I know of. BUT ANYWAY)

If you care about survivors, please spread the word to no-platform sleepdontvisit, and to stop spreading their lies.

This is loooooooooong because they have been targeting so many people.

I will try to make it easy to read.

I’m going to list each person separately, link to the receipt(s), and show why the person isn’t a “pedophile apologist”. In no particular order:

memestealingasexual:

They are targeting biromantic, bi/demisexual, agender memestealingasexual/@thegenderlessbisexual/@justqueerthoughts/ @thekidsalreadyknow for supposedly associating with pedophile apologists.

(This is one of only a couple people on the list where I don’t know if they’re a survivor. It’s none of anyone’s business obviously, it’s just that everyone else involved blogs very openly about being a survivor. And that’s important because they’re trying to sell the entire thing as being pro-survivor, when it actually involves attacking survivors.)

Their only receipt for this is that memestealingasexual talked to someone on Twitter who had also, in a separate conversation, told sleepdontvisit that some survivors look at loli stuff because they identify with it, instead of looking at it in a sexual way.

Then they call this “a nice web of every big inclusive blog supporting and promoting pedophiles who consume child porn lmao!”

robotbisexual (formerly theangrybi):

They are targeting bi trans and intersex CSA survivor @robotbisexual as a pedophile apologist. Their only receipt for it: an old call-out post where robotbisexual/theangrybi said “@leavesurvivorsalone is so fucking violent that without a single fucking example other than the fact that I think they’re violent, they come to me (a CSA survivor) and scream that I’m a pedophilia advocate… Also as a warning: they are apparently mobbing and viciously abusing and wishing harm on anyone who reblogs this post. Especially if you’re a CSA survivor. Please be careful.“

If you’re re-reading that, trying to figure out how robotbisexual became a “pedophile apologist” for saying that this person had "started a campaign to call everyone who disagrees with you (including multiple CSA survivors) ‘pedophilia supporters’”?/???????????????… don’t worry, so am I.

wetwareproblem:

They are targeting bi trans woman CSA survivor @wetwareproblem because she responded to the claim of “pedophile apologist” by musing, “Hey, remember that time you faced off against half a dozen guys larger than you, while they were surrounding you and threatening to beat the shit out of you, because you were protesting in an attempt to have child rapists and pornographers charged and convicted? Good times.”

They called this a “frankly irrelevant sob story” and said, “We get it, you’re the greatest martyr to ever martyr because you posted an unverifiable story on the internet where you’re completely anonymous.”

Then they called her a pedophile apologist just for (allegedly) saying that pedophilia, which is in the DSM, was a mental illness. And followed it up with a list of demands, implying that if she doesn’t meet their demands to help them in their campaign, they will continue to target her for harassment too.

rainfelt:

She’s cis, but she’s still a bi non-CSA abuse survivor. They explicitly target @rainfelt solely because she defended one other person on this list. Their only receipt on her is her saying, “[People who believe sleepdontvisit] are losing a fantastic resource, and they’re losing it because they made the mistake of trusting [sleepdontvisit]. Which, one can’t help feeling, was exactly the plan.”

socialjusticeichigo:

A multiromantic, ace, genderfluid blogger. The only receipt on them: they reblogged a post rebutting one of sleepdontvisit’s callouts.

The rebuttal said things like “As a sexual abuse survivor who has worked in the mental health field, I have a really big problem with people pointing at sexual abuse survivors who explicitly state (as in the luchagcaileag link above!) that they have zero attraction to children and feel physically nauseous at the idea of exposing children to anything sexual, and that they have kinks that are obvious responses to their sexual abuse that they are using to try to heal from their sexual abuse, and saying ‘THIS PERSON WANTS TO RAPE KIDS AND ANYONE DEFENDING THEM IS JUST AS BAD.’”

They even pointed out that “everyone you are calling a pedophile apologist, or a pedophile, is a fucking sexual abuse survivor who is fighting pedophilia and child sexual abuse.”

This is not an example of @socialjusticeichigo being a “pedophile apologist.”

But it does have an example of sleepdontvisit lying about what people are saying, in the rebuttal. (the lie: ”they’re literally saying ‘enjoy[ing] art of adults fucking children is just content people ASSOCIATE with pedophiles, they’re not actually pedophiles!! :)’”)

evilguacamole:

Same exact thing actually, for @evilguacamole, except this blogger appears to be a cis bi guy. The sole receipt: that he reblogged that same rebuttal.

This is starting to look like a personal vendetta.

periegesisvoid/golbatgender:

Bi/trans/aro survivor and one of the people being targeted the most often by exclusionists.

This one is especially messed up. The first receipt is @periegesisvoid noting that they’re being harassed by @bipeoplearentyourpawns, who then reblogs it to make fun of them. (And to implicitly acknowledge the other thing in the post, which is that bipeoplearentyourpawns suicide-baited @luchagcaileag.)

But of course that’s not what the receipt is for; I haven’t seen any exclusionists call out bipeoplearentyourpawns for consistent harassment and suicide-baiting. No, it’s somehow trying to claim that the problem here is… that this somehow implies that periegesisvoid is a pedophile apologist??

The second receipt is periegesisvoid suggesting to luchagcaileag that she should turn off anon, because of that same suicide-baiting.

(The suicide-baiting isn’t just bipeoplearentyourpawns. It also comes from sleepdontvisit’s call-out efforts.)

The third receipt is from periegesisvoid’s discourse sideblog, @golbatgender. It’s a reblog of a list of variations on radfem rhetoric, such as SWERFs vs TWERFs, and the different positions each group holds.

It points out that radfems like to say that all sex work is rape, that porn is rape, that prostitutes should be shot, that all kink is rape and abuse and pedophilia, that doms should be shot, and that all “Bad Ships” (ships that portray abuse) are rape and abuse and incest and pedophilia, and that “Bad Shippers” should kill themselves.

This is still not pedophilia apologism. Saying that people make huge negative generalizations about sex work, porn, and “Bad Ships” is not saying that pedophilia, or even sexual abuse, are okay.

vergess/intersex-ionality:

Another of their trans bi and intersex sexual abuse survivor targets, @vergess/@intersex-ionality, has already left tumblr after months of continuous targeted emotional abuse, from exclusionists trying to claim they were a “pedophile apologist.” Including suicide-baiting and death threats.

sleepdontvisit clearly hasn’t noticed they’re gone, and continues to direct harassment their way. The receipts they link to explicitly call vergess a “pedophile apologist” for saying that it’s important to include not just pedophilia (technically just attraction to children), but ephebophilia (attraction to teens) in the definition of a "minor attracted person”.

And for saying things like “if you can’t stop looking at [fictional and/or consensual sexual content], you are trapped in a cycle of self harm, and need to get outside help from parents, partners or doctors.”

They also specifically target them for statements like “Not all kink is sexual. Claiming that is a form of hypersexualization. Stop doing it.” How that is “pedophile apologism” is beyond me.

The same receipts also try to call them a “pedophile apologist” for saying that it’s possible to be a non-offending pedophile and to deserve to live, and for talking about how their abusers were not pedophiles, but were abusers who were looking for easy prey in the form of children.

I understand why a lot of people don’t think anyone with pedophilic disorder deserves to live.

What is unacceptable is that people who don’t believe non-offending pedophiles deserve to live are instead attacking survivors who say they do, and trying to get those survivors to kill themselves.

If you do this, you can’t claim you are supporting survivors. Telling people to kill themselves, and even just sending anon hate, is emotional abuse. It is not okay to abuse survivors and pretend you’re defending them.

courteousmingler:

According to their receipts, trans lesbian survivor @courteousmingler is a pedophile apologist for saying “as a victim of CSA myself, it makes me deeply uncomfortable that you see a cartoon depiction of a young girl and choose to immediately interpret it sexually. those images are of young girls singing, dancing, and having fun with one another in large poofy dresses- you projecting sexual themes onto those images is your decision, and it’s a disgusting one.”

They also try to get her for, in their words, just “interacting” with someone who they happen to know has a shota/loli porn sideblog. The interaction is that person complimenting @courteousmingler on a long post, and her saying thank you.

I guess if she didn’t want to be called a “pedophile apologist,” when someone complimented her she should have stopped and done some serious digging to see if she should even acknowledge them. Trans survivors, take note!

(Interestingly, they also attack her for allegedly “target[ing] survivors to discredit them”. Which seems like total projection because that’s exactly what their entire campaign is.)

feminismandmedia:

Almost all of their mods are out sexual abuse survivors and about half of them are trans. sleepdontvisit is targeting all of them as a group, but especially singling out Bethany, (@bigballofwibblywobbly), one of the other two cis bi survivor on this list. Because when they told her she was still reblogging from “a lot of blogs associated with pedophiles,” and gave her receipts, she didn’t stop. As you can see from this post their receipts don’t demonstrate that people are associated with pedophiles???????

justonepurpose:

Their only receipt for this aspec trans blogger is that an anon said @justonepurpose “told Mod Des to just ignore being called a pedo apologist bc ‘im called that for being an inclusionist’”. No link to that, and no evidence for them actually being a pedophile apologist.

rey-is-ace-rey-is-aro:

A, I think, quoiromantic or biromantic trans ace survivor. The only thing related to pedophilia in their receipt is that they reblogged something where @antiantis-saltmine said that “Drawing or writing anything involving minors and relatives, no matter how sexual, is completely legal as long as the characters are fictional.“

That sounds really bad, right? Unless you keep reading and see that they’re specifically talking about people attacking minors/survivors. And that that’s the entire point of @antiantis-saltmine: that CSA survivors get harassed and called pedophiles for reading about their own experiences.

And, if you look at what else @rey-is-ace-rey-is-aro has to say about it, you might see their post about "antis” sending “actual live child-porn of real people to artists/CSA Survivors.”

That’s what they’re responding to.

luchagcaileag:

This is the one person that they manage to call out as actually reblogging child porn.

Their call-outs of @luchagcaileag are still problematic: they assume that several tags that don’t have child porn in them do, without checking. They list the statistics for sexual assault in the LGBT community and blame trans abuse survivors for those sexual assault rates, and then call them “freaks”.

But the main problem is that even if you don’t understand that a trans lesbian CSA survivor can reblog child porn to vent and have “No interest to speak of in actual children, though, which is something I’m glad for”… even if you think that she’s just a pedophile in denial…

the result of sleepdontvisit’s callouts is NOT that people are reporting or blocking this person, it’s that they’re sending messages like “trans girl who likes lolicon = naw your just a greasy man pretended to be a woman so people will excuse your pedophilia,” “I hope someone rapes you to death,” and “🔪Slit ya wrists ho🔪”.

This is the kind of thing the survivors on this list are getting from people buying into sleepdontvisit’s campaign. En masse.

tirediscourse:

@tirediscourse is a cis bi grey-ace non-csa abuse survivor. The only receipt for her shows that she’s on the “pedophile apologist” list because… she believes it’s possible for non-offending pedophiles to exist, and she doesn’t want to follow someone who doesn’t believe that and who says that it’s not okay for survivors to read fic about their experiences.

antiantis-saltmine:

This entire blog is run by 5 sexual abuse survivors, three of whom are out as both trans and bi/pan I believe. The receipt on them has them supporting a sexual abuse survivor, who doesn’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, who reads stories about rape and child sexual abuse because it resonates with their experiences, and is upset that they get pressured to repeatedly come out as a survivor if they don’t want to be harassed about it.

It also seems as usual to be targeting them for saying that non-offending pedophiles can exist, and that pedophilia is a mental illness. And for saying that if a character is a pedophile in canon it’s okay to say that character is a pedophile, which is hardly a ringing endorsement.

Again, do not attack sexual abuse survivors who think pedophilia is a mental illness. Attacking survivors for thinking pedophilia is a mental illness only hurts SURVIVORS.

tenitchyfingers:

A possibly-cis aroace trauma survivor. The receipt says they “think pedo jokes are funny.” It links to a single “pedobear joke” post, where in the notes @tenitchyfingers says, “Pedobear was not a joke at the expense of CSA victims, it was at the expense of pedophiles and the concept of pedophilia itself.”

Then it says they support “shipping minors with adults,” but the only receipt it gives for that is a reblog of a survivor shipping a character who’s minor in canon solely as an adult.

vaspider:

Another bi trans abuse survivor. This one was mentioned in a separate post, and didn’t make it to the new call-out list. Maybe because their only receipt was that @vaspider liked a post where @autismserenity said “It’s okay to unfollow me”.

This is purely an attempt to create an atmosphere of fear among inclusionists, and especially among survivors: “watch out whose posts you like, or you’ll end up on my list getting suicide-baited!”

repstar3:

A self-identified pedophile who is not involved in ace discourse and has been consistently attacked by both sides.

autismserenity:

The reason that repstar3 is on the list. This bi trans abuse survivor first made the list of “pedophile apologists” for pointing out the months-long trend of exclusionists calling trans CSA survivor inclusionists “pedophile apologists,” which sleepdontvisit has now intentionally brought to a boiling point.

Next it was for explaining the difference between how an abuse survivor engages with child porn, and how a pedophile does.

Then they really screwed up: repstar3 told them that child porn had been how he’d kept himself from abusing anyone in person before he got into treatment, and they believed him. It emerged that of course, he was sending nudes to minors who asked for them, as young as 14. On the other hand, autismserenity wrote several thorough posts about why this was not okay, deleted repstar3′s posts, and apologized to a survivor who felt they were being spoken over.

Most recently, it was for reblogging a post that debunked a callout post for @roachpatrol (who as far as I know isn’t involved in the discourse). I’m not sure how this is supposed to be pedophilia apologism, since the callout was debunked.

in conclusion:

sleepdontvisit’s call-out campaign is incredibly harmful to CSA survivors, and is blatantly targeting the bi and trans communities, people who are already smeared as predators.

It’s blatantly trying to play on people’s underlying belief that these groups are predatory. It’s deliberately encouraging people to harass and abuse survivors, in the hopes of silencing bi and trans discoursers and discrediting inclusionists. And it’s full of lies.

#ace discourse

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jellojolteon · 7 years

Text

Oh boy guys do I have a treat for you

So this is the 4 year anniversary of this… gift in my notes on deviantart. It’s time that I share this joy with you all, in all its glory. This is completely unedited.

Some context before the readmore for this wall of text: I made a piece of xerneas and yveltal clashing. I’ve posted it on this blog before, and on dA I made some speculative commentary wondering if X and Y were reminiscent of the chromosomes and if we might see some sort of fixed gender legendaries. I thought the commentary was pretty mild minus the somewhat cringy high-school me vernacular, but this guy… not so much.

(This is sent to you in pm about that Xerneas Yveltal drawing.. It’s my comment to you, but too long to comment it with, and maybe people who doesn’t know there reasoning likes to start trouble for no reason and jumps in, so after you read this, you delete it. I just wanted you to hear MY opinion, about the description, if you’re wondering.. you’ll find you cannot reply back, as basically “Pms are shut off”, in a form of blocking, I just don’t want a reply back and I might receive hostile intents (I just wanted to ensure I don’t get a message back, because when I respectfully request that, they do anyways and give me more of a problem, dragging it along, you would call that a habit of speaking to you back, or the last say.), when I just had the need to write this out and have you hear it. I needed you ton know this, I couldn’t help it or otherwise, I would be on my way. So it’s just meant to be read, meant to bring some thinking, delete after you have read it, and that is all.)

Legendaries doesn’t have genders…, or you would be able to breed them. You should of thought about that first, there’s really not a reason for them being legendary if there’s a population of them. Next, in the pokemon movies, these legendary pokemon talks.. and like Kyurem, Zekrom, Mewtwo, Entei, Lugia, ect, they are all male. It’s like calling Palkia a girl for being pink. …Now this wasn’t nearly possible and shouldn’t have said it anyways, due to simply breeding them and not that valuable as a legendary if it could have. They like to throw legendary pokemon at the end, that’s also part of the story. Also think of it this way…a Myth, if they are breed able, they would be able to see them everywhere and therefor wouldn’t really have a reason to call them a legend, of course out of a act, but that’s not how pokemon works with their abilities making it so. This is the first time someone thinks of this way, when with regular pokemon knowledge, if you have been playing the games, watching the episodes, it should come to you how things works. Next..that kind of made me mad, and I appreciate it if you could take it down or not suggest this, because for the likes of me, it could easily wreck it for someone liking this pokemon. Yveltal..Is..NOT..a female… even if you know they won’t clearly have genders to be shown, to think of him like that is irrelevant. People thinks he’s a mixture of a Vulture, Wyvern, Buzzard then a Vulture. The horns, the stare, it’s like a badass honchkrow all puffed up waiting to get it’s drop on you. And something about him being this one bird, death, ect, in fact look at Darkrai and get back to me, and all those claws, ect, people thinks Xerneas is more a female to make into a human form, but the whole deer with antlers, like a lion with his mane, knocks out that idea, so I’m relieved, because I haven’t thought of that. But even Yveltal, never think too much in names, it wasn’t meant to be paid attention to whether it sounds feminine or not, which to me it doesn’t, and depends how *YOU* pronounce it, I never look deeply into that or ever thought of it until people points it out and likes to ruin it for people, because that’s what you like to think. Yveltal is my favorite pokemon since Staraptor, and it sounds ok with the name like Arceus almost like, U-Too-Vell. Nothing girly sounding in that…come on.. It’s like, should I review over your name, Jello? If you’re a man, then it sounds like a very much girly name to me, but you could be a girl, I don’t know that, so it’s disregarded. And if you are a girl, then you would want your personal opinion, what your Yveltal to be like, is a girl, because you’re a female trainer who probably like’s there pokemon to be female sometimes out of some of that fact, I had very much fondness of Rayquaza, and a girl whose under that name from a very much child like site to play on, says it looks like a girl to her more than anything…Yet…given it’s face features, how angry it looks, the eyes, dragon, ect, NO ONE, would of thought of Rayquaza like that, a Male, more then anything, but she said that most likely liking her pokemon as a female, and these are the kinds of people who also someone commented on Kyurem saying it looked like a girl (Movie proved otherwise), and one other I can’t remember about. So I grantinue you, when they make this movie about Yveltal, and hopefully talks, as mostly, they all do, it will come out as a male, because other than the color making you think so, a kind of Pinkish-red, you say it looks like that to you because of the color freely thinking so. It’s like, Blue balloon goes to the boy, the Pink balloon to the girl. So no such “Sexes” They’re both Male. The movies, if I recall, Never had there legendary a female talking voice. So, well. Were talking Yggdrasil-Egypt like involvement, as someone point out it’s that bird, bringer of death and such, you have Jackals, Those bird men, the Bird men aren’t girls, I’m kind of spinning off the movie of something while some history. Think of it this way, Honchkrow-Darkrai (or-Staraptor, even Swellow’s likeness..) with this creature’s from a game inspired be pokemon’s layout before it came out, this is his second evolution: img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/1… (first) profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-… That’s why it’s quite ridiculous to place a pokemon a gender, given the movie can only tell you to what to think of them… I also heard, that some user said off a fakemon game Yvetal looks inspired and looks in common to that (whoever’s) fakemon in those games they played. So to tell them a gender even no it’s not possible and genderless as they should be due to not being able to breed them, was insensitive to what others view the pokemon as. Maybe they like..It’s a male, and you’re saying, Nope- It’s a female, the very pokemon!. And kind of casts out what others opinions likes to think. I did a quick search, I didn’t click the link to go it’s page but I read “X is a female chromosome and Y is a male chromosome”…Uh…. Got your information completely off there, Jello? For the fact everyone knows legendary pokemon has no gender so they cannot breed, and yeahhh… And Yveltal, stare, the very look of it, says male, no girl would pose like that, especially if you saw the trailer animation of him.. It’s hard to explain.. but I think you get my point. But what you are thinking is wrong…it’s like that Kyurem looks feminine and rayquaza looks like a girl then a male, in other words, you can’t speak for what it is unless everyone else thought the same as you do, or else, it’s what you wished your personal party Yveltal would of like to have been, and because you are a female, like most ladies with companions they would like it to be a girl, the same gender as they, or said so because you like it that you want it to match up as your gender, like me, I make my party pokemon males, and only girls to those that look it, say chansey. (But also.. chromosome.. can’t say I know what that is about, but another is saying different, so like for a fact pokemon fans basic info should know legendary can’t breed, not wild in terms of having a gender, and thrown at the end of the game, so uh… I think you don’t know what you are saying personally.) I’m just being honest here. Here’s another.. that I just found, looking back in that tab for a mere second: “I think Xerneas is female (x chromosome anybody?) and Yveltal is male.” Yeahh.. you got your chromosome’s wrong, even though the deer makes sense with the antlers, Pokemon probably wasn’t thinking of the direction that way, So. They’re both males like Reshiram, I bet you thought that looked like a girl, Yveltal and Reshiram has something in common with the eyes I believe), And Zekrom are males, and the voices from the movies in both using one or the other legend’s movies. Blonde..moment..I wonder?, Anyway to conclude this, I take everyone’s opinions to heart (Even if I was called a bad word, that’s why it’s bothering me so much.) , it kind of affects me in a kind of sensitive way, so in other words, I’m the victim who you got Yveltal wrecked for, but do to you not knowing the basic fact that disappointed me and wouldn’t lead you into saying that, but, also, taking that fact and didn’t know it right, because I have about three-four people saying otherwise. Maybe you should reword your description or title, I really wish I haven’t found this because I knew what the title was about…. You majorly interrupted what I was doing and nearly took a hour writing this out, out of my time. But I needed to get you straightening out with this, with real validations and the right facts where your errors lie. I am finished. /This is one customer..that is not happy.

#jello's word vomit #pokemon #pokemon x and y #long post #tag yourself I'm the Yggdrasil-Egypt like involvement

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