#me and my relationship with gender always having a tiny battle in the corner of my brain

[ru-inn]

crowley holds so much gender in those hands while azira just doesn’t care for gender and i am so envious of both of them 

#anthony j crowley #crowley #aziraphale #good omens #me and my relationship with gender always having a tiny battle in the corner of my brain #it's very interesting #but also my headcanon of zira just not giving a shit about how their gender is seen is one of my favourite things #he just enjoys the form she's taken but he literally could give no shits about how others see it

[arknights-imagines]

*Cries tears of joy* Thank you so much! You handled it with bravo and gender neutral kid!doc makes more sense too. By the by do you think you could expand the prompt with one more person? Flamebringer with kid!doc? If not that is alright too. My heartstrings were tugged by every three of them but Hellagur specifically was very endearing, ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ bless you so much ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

Aaaa Anon!! 🥺 I'm getting back to you pretty late, but tysm for this request and your last one!! 😭 I love the child Doctor idea (I get a little carried away with writing them shsjbsjs) I'm very glad you liked the first one 🥺👉👈

Since I'm now back from my hiatus, I wanted to finally post this as I've been writing it for a while. 🌸 I also plan to expand on this again with Broca and Courier for some of my friends at a later date! 🥳 Anywho, forgive my rambling, please enjoy 🌸

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Flamebringer with a Doctor who got turned into a child for the day

The Executor, SilverAsh and Hellagur version is here 🥰

Headcanon format; written in second person, from the perspective of the Operator for the most part

Contains: Flamebringer, gender-neutral Doctor; reader as the Doctor, implied established relationship, mention of side characters, general fluff 🥺

Word count: 2.8k

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FLAMEBRINGER

･ Flamebringer quite enjoyed gardening and flowers, and he enjoyed your company just as much - so whenever you were able to spend time tending to the flowers and plants in the green house along with him, he was always open to it.

･ However, you weren't exactly the most educated person when it came to flowers; they were plants, so almost all of them were harmless. How any harmful flowers could there really be?

･ Well, those were your initial thoughts.

･ You had been helping Flamebringer in the greenhouse one afternoon - it was normal as always; he checked each of the flowers, giving them water or moving them to a place where they would be able to get more sun, while you assisted him by passing him gardening supplies and helping him transport flowers around.

･ You had finished handing him a jar of what looked like soil when he gave you new instruction, "There's some lone flower pots down the far corner of the greenhouse, they must be longing for the sun. Fetch them for me, won't you?" Nodding with a smile, you set off to find the flowers in question.

･ Flamebringer tended to the plants that needed his attention whilst waiting for you. He had just finished watering the last one when he heard you call out to him from a distance, "Flamebringer?" Raising his voice a little so you could hear, he replied, "Yes, blossom?" Your next words came out a little hesitant, "Should this flower look like thi….-"

･ Your voice trailed off suddenly, and the Sarkaz paused and quirked a brow up. He waited a few seconds, but the sound of something breaking followed by a thud came rather than your voice.

･ Flamebringer stopped giving attention to the plants immediately, his eyes narrowing his eyes slightly. The Sarkaz called out your name but the greenhouse remained silent. A little worried, he dropped what he was doing and quickly made his way toward where your voice came from.

･ "....oh?" When he looked to the floor, right beside a broken flower pot was your Rhodes Island jacket all bundled up in an oddly shaped pile. The Sarkaz quirked a brow up - were you playing some kind of joke on him?

･ Before he could roll his eyes and gently scold you for fooling around, something crawling out from under your coat made him freeze and do a double take.

･ "...blossom?" From under your jacket, a small child was looking up at him with wide eyes. Taken off guard, the Sarkaz simply stared back for a few moments, not moving an inch.

･ What was a child doing there and why did they remind him so much of you?

･ A soft voice approaching caught his attention, "Hello Flamebringer," It was Perfumer, when did she get there? The Vulpo was beside him in a few steps, smiling softly, "Have you seen the-....oh my."

･ It didn't take that long for her to notice the child crawling toward them both. After a few seconds, Perfumer greeted the child quietly, scooping them up and looking them over. Flamebringer was a little preoccupied with looking around for any sign of you, speaking in a calm tone despite the fact he was still a little surprised; "Were you looking for the Doctor?" He began, "That can wait. This is no place for a child, who brought them here?"

･ Perfumer was silent for a moment, "Flamebringer, I know this sounds a little bizarre…but I think this little one is the Doctor."

･ The Sarkaz almost laughed at that suggestion, but then the child reached out to him, cooing "Flamey! Flamey!", and when Flamebringer recognized the grin they had on their face, he too understood what Perfumer was saying.

･ He stared for a moment, "...Hello blossom." When you smiled wide at the nickname, he knew the child was you - there was no doubt.

･ Perfumer quickly took charge, telling Flamebringer to follow her while instructing one of the staff in the greenhouse to get a sample of the flower you had been trying to bring back to the Sarkaz.

･ After getting back inside the Rhodes Island facility, the Medic operator let Flamebringer stay in the medical room while she ran tests on you. He was still cautious; less of you, and more of himself. Any wrong move and he could accidentally hurt you, so he kept his distance for now.

･ Perfumer was quick with her tests, and when she finally turned to Flamebringer she exhaled, holding you in her lap as she spoke. "I think I understand what happened. The flower they picked up was heavily mutated, so when they sniffed it, the spores released from the plant caused…quite the interesting outcome." She smiled, motioning to you, "It's only temporary, however, so please don't worry. We'll just need you to take care of them until they return to normal."

･ Flamebringer lifted a brow, "Oh? You're giving me the responsibility of looking after them?" Perfumer blinked, "Of course. They'd be most comfortable with you."

･ The Sarkaz looked to the floor, "I have no experience caring for children." Had it been anyone else, Flamebringer would've declined immediately; he didn't exactly have time to look after a child, nor was he the most capable for the job either. But this was you they were talking about, and you were always worth his time - even so, he wasn't confident that putting him in charge of babysitting you would be the best choice.

･ Perfumer shook her head simply, carefully offering you to him, "There's nothing else wrong with them; they don't seem to be fussing up and they're not uncomfortable." She smiled when Flamebringer took you in his arms, his eyes softening, "I think they'll feel the best with you, but if you're busy I can find someone else."

･ The Sarkaz stared at you for a moment, his face calm. He always saw you like a flower, he did call you 'blossom' after all; you were captivating yet not invincible. Flamebringer was always ready to protect you, but this was different - you were so tiny in his arms and you didn't seem to have a care in the world. He wasn't sure about what he would do to take care of you, but he was open to figuring it out.

･ "Don't misunderstand me. I will watch over them." Holding you carefully in his arms - albeit a little stiffly -, the Sarkaz stood, "Do what you must to investigate the mutated plant that caused them to turn into a child."

･ Perfumer nodded, and that was that; Flamebringer was off with you in his arms.

･ Once he was out of the medical room, you cooed and peered up at him. Smiling slightly, he stroked your cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Don't worry, I’m no threat to you." Though, judging by how you then nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, you already seemed to understand that.

･ Flamebringer wasn't one to live by a strict schedule, but it was obvious that there wasn't much he could do with you in his arms. Training was out of the question, until the staff could clean it the greenhouse was much too dangerous with you as a curious child, and one couldn't really discuss battle formations with him considering you were a little toddler.

･ He wasn't annoyed, however. Whether you were comfortable or not mattered more to him than his own comfort. Making his way down the hall, the Sarkaz exhaled, turning to you when you started blabbering again,

･ “Flamey?”

"Yes blossom, wasting time isn't something I’m interested in."

･ It didn't take long before he started attracting eyes and stirring up murmurs - many at Rhodes Island saw Flamebringer as a machine made for war who lived off the high of being on the battlefield, so to see him cradling a small child was enough to cause a commotion.

･ ��A kid?” “What is he doing with a child?” - it really came as no surprise that the majority thought that the last place a child would be safe in was Flamebringers’ arms.

･ Even so, no one could really muster up the courage to ask about why the Sarkaz was going about his day holding a child; even with the cute toddler on his arm, Flamebringer still looked rather intimidating.

･ Eventually - and unfortunately for them -, another Rhodes Island employee was forced to swallow their fear and approach Flamebringer to ask him something about weaponry.

･ “Uhm, Mr. Flamebringer?” As soon as the Sarkaz’s sharp gaze fell to them, the younger Operator stood up straight and gulped, “Sorry for bothering you, could you take me to the lower arsenal? I’m supposed to pick up a weapon there for delivery but I can't find anyone who knows the way there.” It had barely been a minute and Flamebringer already seemed impatient with them.

･ The Guard Operator exhaled, rolling his eyes a little. If he was honest, the answer was ‘no’; the last thing Flamebringer liked was wasting time on trivial matters. The thing was, however, that you were in his arms this time. He knew that if you were able to, you’d urge him to help his fellow Operator - and he would end up doing so just so you were pleased.

･ So, the Sarkaz was willing to help - emphasis on was - until the Operator brought up the child in his arms.

･ In an instant, Flamebringers’ eyes sharpened and his tone dropped an octave, “Ahh...I'm not particularly fond of people who have a habit of asking too many questions. You're already wasting my time as is; don't put me in an even worse mood.”

･ Needless to say, your cute appearance did nothing to calm the poor Operator who was now trembling like a leaf in the wind the entire walk to the lower arsenal.

･ The Sarkaz had always been very protective of you - now that you were in such a vulnerable, fragile form, he was twice as more vigilant than usual.

･ No one bothered Flamebringer much afterward, and when anyone passed, he subconsciously held you a little closer to his chest.

･ If anyone approached him gushing about how cute you were, they were easily scared away with a curt "Think carefully before you decide to touch them.” from the Guard Operator; people were starting to wonder how he hadn't caused the kid in his arms to cry yet.

･ Such was notable to himself as well - even when he was emanating the most suffocating, cold aura, you sat happily in his arms; quiet and not making a fuss.

･ In fact, the only times you did get upset were when you had to be away from him; around lunchtime, the Sarkaz brought you to Perfumer so she could help feed you properly. Flamebringer obviously chose to sit with you as you were fed, but as soon as you were out of his arms, you started whining a little.

･ All throughout being fed, your eyes stayed to him and called out babbles of his name with your mouth full, “Flamey….” - It was as if you were worried he would be gone if you didn't keep your gaze on him.

･ Perfumer smiled a little, wiping your mouth after she fed you the last bite, “Hm, they keep staring at you.” The Guard Operator sighed a little, lips pulling into a small smirk as he leaned over to tilt your chin up,

“Oh?....You don't have to be vigilant around me, blossom.”

･ When Flamebringer was done in the Rhodes Island facilities, he went straight to the greenhouse. The mess from that morning had been cleaned up already, and the plans surely needed some water before the sun began to set; it would be the last thing to do before he called it a day for the both of you.

･ The greenhouse, vacant with sun spilling through its walls of glass, was quieter than usual.

･ Letting a sigh leave his lips, the Sarkaz shut the door to the greenhouse behind him, before turning his attention to you; surprisingly, you had stayed wide awake throughout the entire morning, resting calmly in his arms. Even as a small, naive child, you obviously trusted him.

･ His usual smirk playing his lips, the Sarkaz tilted your chin up, causing your attention to go from the colour planted pots to his eyes; “Flamey?”

･ At your babyish voice, the smirk on his lips melted into a soft smile, he tapped your small nose with his finger in a playful manner, chuckling a little at how you went cross eyed staring at his finger; “Something worth heeding, blossom - don’t sniff anything suspicious.”

･ You giggled a little, eyes sparkling with amusement, “No sniff!”

･ How was it possible that you were even cuter than you originally were?

･ Finding a bench where you would both be able to admire the sunset-painted sky, Flamebringer sat down with you on his lap and began watering his plants as usual. On occasion, you reached out toward the flower pots and grabbed at the air, prompting the Sarkaz to gently redirect your hands away; as cute as you were babbling about wanting to touch the flowers, who knows what you would turn into if you came into contact with another weird plant?

･ You were clearly feeling a little restless, however. You kept kicking your legs back and forth and tugging on his jacket to occupy yourself; now it seemed like your boredom had reached its peak and you had resorted to trying to investigate the horns in his hair by scaling him like a mountain.

･ To satisfy you, Flamebringer took a moment, “Blossom?” Held between his fingers was a flower - a white daisy with a yellow center. When he spoke his nickname for you, you stopped trying to climb him to reach the horns atop his head and instead sat back down in his lap. Gently, the Sarkaz watched you with a gentle face expression as he tucked the flower behind your ear, speaking to you afterward, “Ahh, that suits you well, don't you think?”

･ You seemed beyond elated, your eyes filled with stars and your lips pulled into a wide smile as you cooed happily, "Flamey! Flower!". Grinning back at you a little, Flamebringer returned back to his flowers.

･ When the sun had fully set, you were fast sleep, your head resting on his chest as small snores left you. The Sarkaz made no move to stand; the sky was filled with stars that night, and the moon was glowing overhead. Life was short - he figured he might as well enjoy any moments of calmness he was gifted.

･ His attention turned back to you - Flamebringer never had a childhood, nor did he encounter many children who were living happy and safe lives. He wasn't a gentle person, he didn't see himself as so and neither did many other people; but there you were, in the body of a child, resting on his chest with a daisy tucked behind your ear.

･ The daisy; a symbol of innocence.

･ Flamebringer cared for you immensely, and even though you had flaws like anyone else, he saw you as a warm-hearted, strong person who changed his life a little everyday.

･ And so, he promised;

･ “My days are numbered, but until something claims my life, I’ll stand with you through you anything and all things, blossom.” You were asleep, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from murmuring, “Like these flowers, we will both meet our last day eventually...but you can't wither yet.”

･ Whether you were a child babbling about flowers or a strong leader sending their forces into battle, Flamebringer swore to be close by, for anything you needed or anything you wanted. The innocent light your eyes carried; he would protect it even if it meant he wouldn't get to see that light anymore.

･ Then, out of nowhere, his thoughts were broken by a call of his name; “...Flamebringer?”

･ "Ahh-" Much to his own embarrassment, the Guard Operator jolted just a little, then he recognized your oh-so-familiar voice, “Hello to you, my blossom.”

･ There you were; fully grown and sat in his lap. It seemed like whatever effect the flower had on you was now wearing off. Yawning a little, you rubbed your eyes before snuggling closer to him and resting your head on his shoulder, “Flame….I’m tired.”

･ He chuckled a little, wrapping an arm around your waist, “Hah, rest; you’ve been through more than enough today.”

･ Once you bean snoring again, his eyes came back to the daisy, still behind your ear. The little flower of innocence.

･ You and him both knew that either of you could die at anytime, anyday. But quite frankly, Flamebringer didn't care. For now, he held you close, vowing to stay with you no matter what crazy things you two went through.

#🥺 child doctor shsjbsh #arknights #arknights imagines #arknights flamebringer #arknights doctor #flamebringer arknights #doctor arknights #arknights fanfic #arknights fanfics #arknights imagine #arknights writing #imagine #imagines #writing

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 45: Beware the Paladin Part 5: The Royal Family Grows

This episode serves as an ending to the multipart story Beware the Paladin. I hope that you all have been enjoying the story so far and the ending is not disappointing to your expectations. The next story I’ll be working on will be a story out of the main narrative, a Halloween one-off special that I hope you all enjoy. So I’ll see you next time in a little less than two weeks, on Halloween. Until next time!

SYNOPSIS: Roman is scared of the fact that he’s going to have a baby, both for what he’s about to go through and because he’s going through it without Virgil by his side. Chris tries to convince Virgil to forget his differences with Roman and be with Roman when the moment comes, but Virgil shows himself reluctant and it’s improbable that Chris will manage to convince him on time before the new baby is born.

WARNINGS: Depicts a pregnancy and delivery. Implied sexual innuendo, very slight.

EPISODE INDEX

[Chris is looking right at the camera in shock]

CHRIS: I… I’m sorry I’m staring at you, guys, gals and non binary pals. I’m just… how do I say it… in shock, I guess? I mean, I shouldn’t be. After all I’m here which means that this could happen again at any time, but still… I’m rambling. I guess it will be better if I tell you what happened so that you understand why I’m… why we’re all like this. You see, Patton returned safely from the Core and thanks to a new ability that the Core gave him, now he can heal injures from the other Sides. With that new power, he cured Janus’ head injury and woke him up. With everybody ready, we all entered in autopilot and Talyn hypnotized Thomas and Joan to resynchronize Thomas’ brainwaves and restore his contact with us. That went fine… but in the meantime, my parents, Roman and Virgil, tried to fix their relationship, very damaged after the Paladin’s words. They seemed to have talked it all out and decided to give a chance to their relationship again. But then, after some time they spent in their bedroom in autopilot, suddenly they started arguing and Virgil claimed that the Paladin had taken control of Roman again, for a short time, to tell Virgil that Roman blamed him for my leg injury, and that Roman thought that Virgil was bad for my development. That was the last straw for Virgil and he decided to leave Roman’s room and return to his own room, to put his ideas in order and decide if he wanted to break up with my father definitely or not. He’s now there at this very moment… but the time they spent in the bedroom seems to have had consequences for my father… He just said… I still don’t believe what he said… excuse me, I’m gonna ask him again. Roll title screen, please.

[intro sequence]

CHRIS: I’m sorry, father… I think… I think I didn’t hear you right. Did you just say…?

ROMAN: Have you ever imagined having a brother. Yes, I just said that Chris. I think… I think I’m having a baby.

THOMAS: Gosh, Sides’ biology is so confusing… So one time Virgil gets pregnant and the next time the one who gets pregnant is you? How’s that possible?

ROMAN: Don’t ask me, Thomas. Just like you, I’m not in control of my inner organs. Yes, this time it’s me who’s got pregnant and we did nothing different from the last time, but that’s how it goes, I guess. It seems in a relationship between Sides, who’s gonna deliver the baby is just chosen randomly. This was so unexpected. We both had decided not to have any more children, and now…

LOGAN: Roman…

ROMAN: I know what you’re gonna say, that if we didn’t want more children, we should have taken protection, and that we’ve been a bunch of senseless fools. And you’re right, we should have taken protection, but we didn’t. After two weeks apart, we had just reconciled… so, we both got overwhelmed by our feelings, so repressed for so many days. They blurred our reason and… it just happened naturally. We didn’t even think about anything else other than being together sharing our mutual true love after so long. And this is the result. Born from our love, a new Side is about to join the fam.

CHRIS: Wow… I can’t believe this… I’m… I’m gonna be a big brother? [starts crying] Why am I getting so emotional all of a sudden? I know I’m Thomas’ sensitivity but how can I get so sensitive over someone I don’t even know?

PATTON: Well, kiddo, a new kid joining the family should always be a motive of rejoice, and becoming a big brother is no less emotional.

ROMAN: But this was so unexpected.

REMUS: Well, if you do it without protection, what did you expect? Did you think that a stork would deliver the baby at your door or something, like Patton believed before Logan taught him otherwise with practical lessons?

[Remus wiggles his eyebrows at Logan, who blushes and gives Remus a silent dirty look]

ROMAN: Ugh… My royal suit is starting to get too tight. Like it happened to Virgil, this is going fast, so fast I barely even have time to react about it, and my body is changing by the minute… I feel like a bag of popcorn in the microwave. And I didn’t want to deliver any kids… I’m so scared…

THOMAS: Are you saying that you don’t want to…?

ROMAN: No, I didn’t say that. I’m scared to death of what I’m about to go through… but at the same time… I don’t know… it’s a strange feeling of joy and happiness. Just like when you were born, Chris. And, same as you, I don’t even know him – because we already know it’s gonna be a him as all of us, Thomas’ Sides, share with him the same gender, age and sexuality – I don’t even know him yet, but I can’t wait to have him in my arms. I’m frightened of what comes immediately before but I can’t wait for what comes next. I do want to have him. I desperately want to have him now. I haven’t seen his face… and I already love him with all my heart. I know it’s sappy… but I can’t express it with other words.

PATTON: You’re not sappy, Roman. This is something that only those who have experienced parenthood can really understand. If there’s a form of true love at first sight, I think this is the purest form of this kind of love, a parent meeting their kid for the first time. Even before, like you said, that love is already present and strong. It happened the same to me when I had Virgil. I just looked at his tiny little face once, and I immediately knew giving him love and protecting him from all harm would be the center and purpose of my life forever. Not even the Dark Master deleting my memories could erase the love I’ve always felt for Virgil. From the moment I saw him years later, all grown up, even when I didn’t remember he was my son, I loved him with the same strength I had loved him as a baby, if not stronger.

CHRIS: Speaking about Virgil… Father, you do realize that we need to tell him about this, right?

ROMAN: I know, but I don’t want to disturb him. He wants to be alone, he made it very clear.

CHRIS: But this changes everything, father. This is important for him. He has the right to know he’s about to be a father again. Besides, his complaints come from you hiding things from him. I don’t think hiding this important event from him and denying him the chance of being present on his second son’s birth is the best way to solve your issues. It would make them even worse if possible.

PATTON: Chris is right, Roman. Wow, Chris, you have matured so fast. Now you speak like a proper adult man and I’m proud of you, kiddo.

CHRIS: [smirks] I love the contradiction of you considering me an adult man and ending the phrase with “kiddo”. It’s such a lovely trait on your part, grandpa. Thank you. [to Roman, serious again] Well, father. What do you say?

ROMAN: [beat, then he sighs] I think you’re right, Chris. Virgil needs to know and we must tell him… But I wouldn’t dare to enter his room now… I’m scared of making everything worse if I do.

CHRIS: You don’t have to tell him yourself, father. If you want me to, I can go see him in your place.

ROMAN: Ow! This suit is too tight, I can barely breathe… [summons an XL-sized version of the suit, wide enough to conceal his growing belly] There… that’s much better. It’s so weird… As I said I can already feel something moving inside of me… well, not something, someone. [puts his hands on his belly] It’s so weird, but so wholesome at the same time…

CHRIS: The pregnancy is going fast, so I can’t waste more time. I shall go to dad’s room. He should be here with you when the delivery comes.

ROMAN: Please, don’t mention the word “delivery”… I’m so scared of it, and it’s just around the corner… The Dragon Witch is just a roasted chicken compared to this battle I’ve got ahead… I seriously admire human women who can go through this, even worse than me, and stay strong… Now, Chris, are you sure you want to do this? Maybe I should swallow my fear and go tell him myself. I’m a prince and I should be brave enough to talk to my husband about this.

CHRIS: No, father. I do think that facing your fear and telling him yourself would be the right thing to do under normal circumstances. I would support you and it would make me proud that you would do that. However, in your state, it will be better that you stay here, not traveling between rooms and putting yourself in a situation of stress, cause you’ve settled down on having him and you don’t want a miscarriage, do you? If that thing is possible for us, Sides, I don’t know… Just in case, wait here, okay? I’ll go speak to him.

ROMAN: Okay… I’m so proud of you, my boy. Please, tell Virgil that I love him… [suddenly sad] No, it will be better if you don’t tell him that, I don’t want him to feel pushed.

CHRIS: [putting his hand on Roman’s cheek] He knows you love him, father, and you know that he loves you back. I’m sure everything will be fixed eventually, don’t worry. [to the others] Please, guys, take care of him while I’m gone, okay?

PATTON: Don’t worry about anything, kiddo, we’ll take care of Roman.

[Chris nods, smiling, then smiles one last time at Roman and sinks down. Then he rises up in Virgil’s room. The room is all dusty, more than what was usual for Virgil’s room, the signal of not having been inhabited for a long time]

CHRIS: Well, it seems dad didn’t have time to tidy this room yet… Dad! Dad, are you here? I know you asked me not to come, but something’s happened! Something that needs your immediate attention! Dad!

[Virgil goes down the stairs]

VIRGIL: Chris, what are you doing here? I thought I told you that I wanted to be alone.

CHRIS: I know, dad, but this is an emergency. I need you to come with me to the living room.

VIRGIL: To the living room? What for? Did something happen to Thomas?

CHRIS: No, not to Thomas. This is something about father.

VIRGIL: About Roman? What, did he turn into the Paladin again? Maybe something went wrong with the hypnosis or something? I hope it’s an emergency of that kind, because I’m not interested in anything else related to your father, not for the time being.

CHRIS: It’s not that… but listen…

VIRGIL: Chris, I understand that you love us both and I appreciate that you try to mediate between us. But you can’t just meddle into this issue like this. You could cause more harm than good.

CHRIS: Dad, listen…

VIRGIL: I don’t want to see Roman right now. So you can tell him that I’m not interested in anything that he…

CHRIS: [interrupting him, yelling] You’re gonna be a father again!

[Virgil looks at Chris, stunned and speechless]

CHRIS: Yes, that’s what I came here to tell you. Father has gotten pregnant of you and you both are about to give me a little brother.

VIRGIL: A… a new son? But… but how? I thought that I was the one that…

CHRIS: So did we, but it seems we were all wrong. Father’s pregnancy has already started and you know how fast this goes. He will be delivering soon, and he would love you to be there when the time comes to support him.

VIRGIL: But… I’m not ready to face him yet.

CHRIS: Dad, please. Can’t you push aside your differences just for a couple of hours? He needs you now, he’s so scared. You should know better since you’ve also delivered a child, me. I don’t remember, of course, but I bet you’ll never forget how you felt before that. That’s how Roman is feeling right now. Please, dad, I beg you. Come with me.

VIRGIL: [anxious] I… I can’t… I can’t! This is like some sort of emotional blackmail, is it not? He sent you as his tool to make me feel like trash and push me into coming back! Well, if he thinks he’s gonna manipulate me into coming back to him just because…

CHRIS: [angry yelling, interrupting Virgil] Are you listening to yourself!? It’s Roman we’re talking about, not the Dark Master, for f… [bleep] sake! Father didn’t want to tell you at first, because he didn’t want to disturb you in your retirement! It was me who thought that you had the right to know the news! He was so afraid to tell you in person he wouldn’t dare to bother you! Heck, he was afraid of even asking me to tell you that he loves you, so don’t you f… [bleep] dare to say he would…!

[Chris stops mid sentence, trying to calm himself down, while Virgil doesn’t say a word. Then Chris sighs and speaks with a calmer voice that can’t conceal the disappointment]

CHRIS: I’m sorry… You’re still my dad and I should speak to you with respect… Well, now you know the news, and you are free to do with this information whatever you consider. But if you want my humble opinion… Father was there supporting you when you delivered me. Now, he’s going through those exact same feelings of terror, insecurity and pain you went through back then, and I think it would be fair that you were there supporting him, at least while it happens, just like he was there supporting you when you went through that. Then, you both are free to stay separated, to divorce, or to do whatever the heck you want to do with your lives as free adult Sides, but now Roman needs you. If you don’t want to be there as a husband, at least be there as a friend to comfort him, and be there also as the father of the creature that’s coming to this world, who also has the right to enjoy your presence. That’s all I have to say, dad, and I won’t force you to do anything. I’m going back to father, because if you don’t wanna be there, I’ll try to fill your place and support him. But you and I know very well it won’t be the same for him. Bye, dad.

[Chris looks at Virgil one last time with eyes of huge disappointment, then sinks down. Virgil looks at the empty spot, still speechless after his son’s speech. Then, Chris rises up in the living room. Roman’s belly is already huge]

ROMAN: Well… How did it go?

CHRIS: I gave him the news. He said he’s not ready to face you yet… among other things I’ll better keep for myself.

ROMAN: [sad] I see… Well, thanks for trying, son.

CHRIS: Don’t worry, father. If he doesn’t want to be with you, I will be with you. You’re not alone, okay?

[Roman smiles sadly at Chris]

ROMAN: Thank you, son. I love you so much.

THOMAS: And we’re all here for you too, Roman. You are not alone by any means.

ROMAN: I know, guys, and I thank you all… It’s just… that this isn’t gonna be the same without Virgil. And I don’t mean only this happening right now. My life as a whole is not gonna be the same without Virgil by my side. I thought we were gonna grow old together, and now…

[Roman can’t help a little sob. Chris hugs Roman]

CHRIS: It’s okay, father. It’s okay. Things will get better and you’ll feel better in time, you’ll see.

ROMAN: [in pain] Aw, it hurts! Aw!

CHRIS: [startled, suddenly releasing Roman from his hug] What!? Did I hurt you on the belly with my hug!? I’m sorry!

ROMAN: No, Chris, it’s not the hug, it’s…! Aw! [puts his hand on his belly as if he was in a terrible pain]

LOGAN: The baby is coming!

CHRIS: Already!? Oh, my gosh!

TALYN: Wow, I came here to perform a session of hypnosis, I didn’t expect to witness a birth.

JOAN: Me neither, but that’s what you get when you hung up with the Sanders Sides, I guess. Every day is an adventure.

[Roman summons a hospital gown around him]

ROMAN: I hope you don’t mind if I summon my own gown, Logan. Nobody needs to see my posterior, you know? I mean, they would be wowed by it’s beauty, but that’s a view I reserve only for… [suddenly sad again] …well, you know who… [in pain, yelling] Ugh! Get me to the couch or I’ll drop the baby right on the floor!

[Logan and Janus help Roman lie down on the couch. Chris holds Roman’s hand]

CHRIS: I’m here with you, all the way through.

ROMAN: Thanks, Chris, I…

[suddenly Virgil rises up. Everybody looks at him]

ROMAN: [surprised and a little afraid] Vi… Virgil…

VIRGIL: [shy voice, looking away] Are… are you okay, Roman?

CHRIS: [slightly reproachful] You took your time, dad. You almost didn’t make it.

VIRGIL: I… I’m sorry, guys… I was afraid that you all would be mad at me after what I said… If you want me to leave, I’ll understand.

THOMAS: No, don’t leave! You don’t need to be afraid of us, Virgil. We’re your friends and family. We don’t hate you and we’re not mad at you.

VIRGIL: There’s more, though… [to Roman] Roman, I… I was afraid to show up here and be rejected by you… just like I rejected you earlier. I guess this all comes down to my fear of rejection. After the Paladin said these words through your lips… I feared that you would eventually reject me and… I rejected you before you had the chance of doing it first. I guess you were right from the start. I… I’m a paranoid after all. [ironic titter] Even now, I’m imagining that everyone in this room is against me, somehow…

PATTON: We’re not, Virgil. Like Thomas said, we love you.

ROMAN: Virgil… You’re my reason to live. How could I reject you? And you’re not a paranoid… not any more than anyone of us and certainly not any more than me. We all fear rejection. Just a moment ago, I was afraid of being rejected by you, that’s why Chris stepped in to tell you what’s going on with me. But I love you… I always loved you and I think I forever will. If you only gave me the chance, I’d show you that I wouldn’t let you down, and that I would never, ever reject you. I promise.

VIRGIL: Roman, I…

ROMAN: And please, whatever you decide, I beg you, don’t listen to the words I said as the Paladin. He’s only a part of me that I can’t control, who always puts in my mouth things out of context in twisted ways, trying to put you away from me. That’s not me. I swear that’s not me and I don’t think the things he says.

JANUS: Virgil, you asked me the other day if the Paladin was saying the truth, and I detected he was. But now I’m telling you that Roman is saying the truth too, which means either that the Paladin is such a good liar that he can fool even me, or the most probable, that he’s so insane that he believes his own lies, which makes him undetectable by me, because for him, it’s the truth. You can trust Roman in this.

ROMAN: With Thomas’ treatment, I hope the Paladin will stay locked up inside of me and never come back out again. But if he ever tries, know that I will fight him with all my strength, to defend you from him and his poisonous words so that he never harms you again. I’ll protect you with my life from him if need be. By my royal crown, I swear I won’t let him break my family again if you give me the chance to put my family back together again! Please, Virgil!

VIRGIL: [tearing up] I’m sorry, Roman. I should have trusted you better and not let my fears overwhelm me. I still love you and I never wanted to leave you, because you too are my reason to live, Roman, and I think I’d be miserable… no, I already was miserable without you.

[Roman gives an emotional smile to Virgil]

ROMAN: You’re making me the happiest creature on existence with these words, Virgil. I love you, so… so… much… [suddenly in pain] Ugh! But I guess I’ll have to show you my love later, because there’s a little baby that can’t wait to be ejected out of mi body! Aw!

VIRGIL: [rushing towards Roman] Keep calm, Roman. [to Chris, who is still holding Roman’s hand] Can I…?

[Chris steps aside, smiling fondly at Virgil]

CHRIS: Of course, dad. His hand has always been yours to hold. It’s a shame that the couch is next to the wall, or else I would have placed myself on the other side to hold his other hand. Of course, I could always stretch my arm, but…

ROMAN: [in pain, but smiling nevertheless] Nnghh! You’re holding it in spirit, my son, don’t worry. Besides, I don’t want Thomas to get sick again because of the stretchy arms…

THOMAS: Thanks for noticing me…

LOGAN: Okay, you already know how this goes, Roman. The baby has taken the form of gas that is circulating inside your body, looking for the way out. When it reaches the exit, the pain will disappear, but until then, you need to push when I tell you, okay?

ROMAN: Okay…

LOGAN: And I hope you don’t fart on my face, like Virgil did…

VIRGIL: [titters] Yeah, me too… Sorry about that, Logan…

LOGAN: It’s all right, Virgil. Okay, Roman. Ready? Push!

[Roman starts pushing. His struggling face is full of sweat]

VIRGIL: Come on, Roman. You’re the strongest man I know, much stronger than me. If I could do it, so you can.

LOGAN: Okay, one more try. Push with all your might… now!

ROMAN: [struggling] Ngggghhhhhh! I’m never doing it again without protection! Nnnngggghhhhh!

LOGAN: Come on, Roman, I thought you were a warrior! I’m sure you can do better. Push again! Push as if you were figuratively fighting the Dragon Witch and sticking your sword inside her tummy! Push, now!

ROMAN: [now with tears in his eyes, his face is all red out of the struggle, yelling] GGGAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

[crimson smoke starts coming out of Roman’s body. While it forms a cloud, Roman’s belly shrinks back to its normal flat form, until all the smoke is out of him]

ROMAN: [concerned, and relieved from the pain at the same time] Cri… crimson?

LOGAN: That’s another possible combination of red and purple, this time with red dominating.

VIRGIL: Yes, but what do you think it means that his color is crimson? I mean, the only one we’ve seen crimson is… you know…

LOGAN: …the Paladin, I know, yes, but don’t worry. I don’t think this baby will be related in any way with the Paladin. This has to be a coincidence, that’s all.

VIRGIL: Okay, if you say so…

[the crimson cloud descends upon Roman’s arms and a baby materializes. Oddly enough, he doesn’t cry, he just stares at Roman with a cute face of curiosity and determination]

ROMAN: Oh, my gosh… I…

VIRGIL: He’s just as brave and determined as his father. Look, he’s so strong-willed he doesn’t even cry.

[the baby lets go a cute little giggle and puts his little hand on Roman’s cheek, trying to grab it. Roman is the one who immediately starts crying. After him, both Virgil and Chris giggle and cry at the same time]

TALYN: Oh, my gosh, he’s just so cuuute… Look at his little hands, Joan…

JOAN: I’m getting a little emotional, and I didn’t expect to end the day this way, at all.

THOMAS: Well, welcome to my world once again, Joan. [to Virgil and Roman] I’m so happy for you two, guys.

REMUS: I’m Uncle Remus for the second time. How proud can an uncle be?

PATTON: My, I have two grandsons now. I’ve got a huge family of kiddos to spoil now, I’m so happy!

IAN: Congratulations, guys. After all you’ve been through, I’m happy that at least you have a moment of happiness to compensate, even if just a little bit, the distress you’ve been suffering lately.

JANUS: I’m not glad at all that I could wake up on time to witness this. I’m an uncle-in-law again, who would have thought?

ROMAN: Thank you guys, all of you.

LOGAN: Well, congratulations, family. How are you going to name him?

ROMAN: I’m too tired right now to think of a name, Virgil. Have you got any ideas?

VIRGIL: Well, if it was a girl, I would have chosen Hope.

ROMAN: Hope? Why?

VIRGIL: Because that’s what his little giggle inspired me. It calmed my anxiousness, and gave me hope for the future. Could it be that he’s the Side of Thomas in charge of his hope?

THOMAS: It would be beautiful if it was so. How can we know for certain, Logan?

LOGAN: Unfortunately, without my checking ability, I can’t examine the baby to see what Side of Thomas he exactly is. Patton already tried to restore my power with his new healing ability but it didn’t work, unfortunately. We’ll have to wait until the baby grows to find out.

PATTON: I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, Logan, but your ability is out of reach for me to heal it, it seems. Or maybe it’s not a matter of lack of health on your part and it’s something else, I don’t know. In any case, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more.

LOGAN: You don’t have to apologize for anything, Patton, it’s not your fault, and I’ll be fine. But returning to the subject about the baby’s name, if I may be of help, I have an idea for a male name that means “hope.”

VIRGIL: Really? What is it.

LOGAN: And it’s only appropriate, due to Thomas’ Irish heritage, that the boy’s name would be of Irish origin. Do you like the name Dillon? It means “ray of hope” in Irish.

VIRGIL: Dillon? Ray of hope? [heartwarming smile] That’s exactly what I felt, a ray of hope straight to my heart. I love it… What do you think, Roman?

ROMAN: I love it too. Thank you so much, Logan.

VIRGIL: Then Dillon it will be. Dillon Benjamin Sanders.

ROMAN: Why Benjamin?

VIRGIL: It is after Ben Platt. You named our first son Christian Gerard after Gerard Way knowing how much I love My Chemical Romance. It was only fair that I in turn named our second son Dillon Benjamin after one of your favorite musical actors.

ROMAN: Thank you. I love you, Virgil. And I love you too, my dear Dillon Benjamin Sanders.

[everybody in the room starts looking at the baby with smiles of happiness. Time goes by and it’s nighttime. Everybody has left the living room except the family, Thomas and Joan. Roman his holding the baby, giving him his first bottle of milk, while Thomas and Joan are in the kitchen making dinner]

ROMAN: [holding the bottle while the baby drinks] I want to treasure these moments for as long as they last, as I know that, in any moment, Dillon will start growing up at light speed, like you did, Chris. I want to enjoy Dillon’s infancy, as I know it’s gonna be short, really short. This is his first bottle of milk, but it will also probably be his last.

CHRIS: I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more time. Before you had the time to get used to the idea of having me, I was already an adult. It’s not fair, is it?

VIRGIL: It is not, certainly. I would have loved to live the experience of seeing you growing up day by day, year by year, teaching you all I know, doing my best to make you a good Side, making sure that I could set you ready to the world of adulthood. Like any parent, I guess. But one moment you were in the cradle, and the next moment you were practicing archery and sword fencing. And I don't remember anything in-between, if there even was anything in-between.

CHRIS: I would have loved to live that experience too, dad. But don’t you worry. If I may speak, you have already done your best to make me a good Side, even if sometimes I made it difficult.

VIRGIL: Thank you, son. I really appreciate your words. But you haven’t been much difficult. If anything, I was the one making things difficult for both of us sometimes.

CHRIS: Dad… father… I really hate saying this right after all that has happened, but I have to be honest to you and to myself.

ROMAN: What is it, son? Is something wrong?

CHRIS: Wrong? No… not really… I think… Dad… Father… Would you be very disappointed if… if I left your room to live independently in my own room?

[Virgil and Roman look at Chris, not saying a word]

CHRIS: [nervous, slight stutter, moving his hands nervously] It… It doesn’t have to be just now. I wouldn’t leave until I made sure that father was totally fine and you didn’t need me… but I need to experience life and build a room of my own in the Mind Palace. Like I said, it’s not fair that I grew up so fast that you couldn’t spend more time raising me up… but that doesn’t change the fact that I grew up and I’m an adult and…

VIRGIL: [putting his hand on Chris’ hands to stop him from moving them compulsively] Chris…

CHRIS: Yes, dad?

VIRGIL: You don’t need to try so hard to convince us. We are your parents, and we love you. Besides, we knew this day had to come one day or another. It’s a law of life that the son leaves the nest to build a new nest of his own. It would be criminal if we opposed to that and you are not a property of us that we should keep in a jar unable to experience life on their own. We understand and we don’t have any objections. Just remember that we’ll always be here for you, for whatever you may need us, okay?

[Chris gives an emotional smile to Virgil]

CHRIS: Of course, dad… Of course.

ROMAN: Virgil speaks for both of us, Chris. I will only add that we’re very, very proud of you, and we know that you’re ready to make us proud no matter where you go. Chase your dreams, Chris. Life is too short to do anything else.

CHRIS: Thank you, father… [tears fall down his cheeks] Gosh… Why am I crying? It’s not like I’m leaving to the end of the world, my room will be in the same Mind Palace as yours, dag nabbit! I know I said I’m an adult, and I know I’m gonna be super sappy, but… dad… could you hug me like you briefly did when I was a baby… one last time, so that at least I have a memory of how it feels like?

VIRGIL: [also in tears] Come here, my boy.

[Virgil hugs Chris tightly, and they both sob]

[end card]

THOMAS: Okay, dinner’s rea… what’s going on, guys?

ROMAN: It’s nothing, just some family bonding before our boy spreads his wings and becomes an independent man. He’s moving away to build his own room.

THOMAS: Oh?

CHRIS: Not today, father. As I said, I’m not leaving until I make sure you are okay. Besides, I want to spend some time with my brother before I go.

ROMAN: [suddenly struggling, but not losing the smile] Well, now that you say so, I could use some help with your brother right now, because his weight is starting to crush me. Help me, please!

[Chris quickly grabs Dillon. He has already grown to five year old size, he sits him down on the couch]

DILLON: Sorry.

JOAN: Heh… It’s funny. A human’s first word is usually mama or papa, and his first word has been “sorry”.

CHRIS: Well, my first word was “pizza”, so…

VIRGIL: You do remember?

CHRIS: It’s my oldest memory. Me in the cradle begging for pizza.

DILLON: Ew! Pizza! Gross!

CHRIS: What? What do you mean you don’t like pizza? It’s the best food in the world!

DILLON: Then you can keep it all for yourself! I don’t like that kind of food. I prefer veggies, like eggplant, zucchini, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and above all else…

CHRIS: Don’t…

DILLON: …carrots.

EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM EXCEPT JOAN: Eeeeewwwww!

DILLON: What? They’re delicious, and a good source of vitamins A and D, which is good for the eyes and the skin! You’ll envy me when I have golden skin in the summer and you stay all pail!

JOAN: Well, Thomas, it seems there’s a part of you that, deep inside, loves carrots. Or maybe it’s the part of you that is conscious that it’s good for you to eat healthy, even if you don’t like it.

THOMAS: I guess so… Carrots, ew…

VIRGIL: [smirks] Maybe this was my fault… Patton’s cream of broccoli actually contains carrots and that’s the last meal we had before Roman and I… And you know they say you are what you eat, so…

ROMAN: [over the top dramatic voice] Carrots? You made me eat carrots!? Virgil, how could you do this to me!? I trusted you! [giggling] Seriously now, that cream of broccoli is so delicious I don’t care what it’s made with. And may I say, Virgil, you really improved on the recipe.

VIRGIL: Compared with my first try when I almost destroyed the kitchen, anything would be an improvement… but thanks for the compliment, my love.

CHRIS: Gosh, I’m so happy to see you two like this again. I don’t know if I would have had it in my heart to move out leaving anyone of you in that situation. Now I can leave in peace, knowing that you’ll be all right together.

ROMAN: Yes, sorry, Chris. This must have been awful for you and you were caught in the middle.

VIRGIL: I’m sorry too if we caused you any distress.

CHRIS: Well, all’s well that ends well. Right, Dillon?

DILLON: [adult voice] Indeed.

[Chris and the others get startled when Dillon speaks with an adult voice. They all look at him. Now, indeed, Chris is an adult Side like the others, and he’s already wearing his outfit. He’s dressed with a crimson tunic, looking like a wizard. He also carries what looks like a magic wand, like the one Merlin uses in the Disney movie “The Sword and the Stone”. He’s also wearing on the neck a golden medallion with three jewels on it, a red ruby, a purple amethyst and a crimson garnet. On his chest, he sports his logo, a crimson almond-shaped figure divided in two, one half is red and the other is purple, and inside of it a flower in the middle that looks like an almond blossom]

DILLON: What? It looks as if you had just seen a ghost.

[after a short moment of silence, Virgil is the first to talk]

VIRGIL: Aww! We didn’t have time to introduce Dillon to your brother and to Ira before he grew up! They’ll surely be bummed when they find out!

ROMAN: It’s okay. After what happened last time with Chris, I didn’t have the intention of taking that risk again. We’ll go to Sandersia tomorrow, when we’re all well rested and ready to face… whatever, who knows who will come after us next. But we’ll be ready for them.

THOMAS: Well, all I’m gonna say is… welcome to the family, Dillon. Oh, and one more thing. Dinner’s getting cold, so what the heck are you still doing there? Come on, guys!

[every body rushes to the counter to grab a serving of food]

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #character thomas sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #aspects and fanfics

[happypsyduck]

Would it be possible to request a Leon x NonBinary s/o?? Maybe a little scenario could be 'his s/o is having a hard time explaining to people what NB is and they're having extreme dysphoria and Leon helps them cope with it' ??? 🖤💜💛 thanks love.

Info: Reader is Nonbinary (originally female), warnings for dysphoria. Note this is my first time writing for such a character so if I offend please enlighten me on how so I can fix! Also, might not be exactly what is asked, but this is the idea that came to me, hope you like!

It was what Leon had been afraid of since he had begun dating you and as he stared at his phone he just had to reread the headline on the damn gossip sight that also had a picture of the two of you hand in hand as you walked the shore of one of the wild area lakes. Champion Leon has a new girlfriend??! It was simple and direct and no doubt all over social media by now and taking a swipe over to Raihans page would confirm it. Luckily his dragon rival was doing his part to tell people to calm down and chill out, but it would probably be useless.

Overall was it really that harmful? Not really, he had you and you both were completely in love, so it was mostly true. The problem was the word ‘girlfriend’. At first Leon himself had mistaken you for female, so did most strangers on the street, but the first time you had met he was corrected gently by you. He had said something simple, trying to be flattering as you’d stumbled upon each other training out in the wild area, asking what a lovely young woman was doing in a dangerous spot he was in when you simply told him you were Nonbinary.

He knew for a fact he had given you a blank stare in that moment, having heard the term before, but you were the first he had met. Recovering as best he could he apologized and though he still screwed up in your subsequent meetings he got better each time and was falling more for you each time. When you agreed to a date he was overjoyed, but he assured you he would try to keep it low key as the media would be all over him if they found out he was dating. He knew even worse that they would assume so he wanted to be sure things were clear and his next interview he had been planning, with you there by his side, to finally tell the public about you both and make it clear just who you were.

Now that was completely shattered and he was shaking his head to try to figure out what to do first and thought that you should know as soon as possible about this. He was just about to dial your number when a text would come through from Raihan and Leon felt his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach as he read it “They just saw it and went rushing towards Hammerlocke gates to the wild area, you better hurry up, they were pale as a sheet”

A dysphoric episode was what he was fearing the most from the stupid headline and he knew if you were running from everyone it was going to be a bad one. Sending a text back in thanks he would luckily have an idea of where you were going from all of the times you two had spent out there. It was the safest place to spend time together without worrying of prying eyes, at least he had thought, and he would be rushing fast as he could from where he had been in Motostoke. His sense of direction being terrible as it always was it would unfortunately take him two hours to finally get there, but he did get to your favorite spot in Dappled Grove.

Eyes casting about he would spot you on the shore of the lake, heart clenching as he could see your shoulders shaking, but he was uncertain if you were crying or angry at first. Approaching slowly he would make his footsteps heard, giving a wave when you look to him, still uncertain your expression. He knew enough as he came to sit not to touch you yet no matter how he wanted to just pull you into his arms. Noticing you were wearing the oversized hoodie he had given you a few weeks ago he would just try talking, “Well Meowths out of the bag” being the first thing that came to him before scratching the back of his neck, “I am sorry it was through that gossip column though, they don’t talk to people at all, just post what they want”

He was angry at them, completely, and he had it in a mental note to talk to Chairman Rose about what they could do about them, but he needed to focus right now and was relaxing a little as you did finally say something, “It just had to be a picture of that day, just my luck” He could hear the frustration in your tone and honestly he could handle a lot better when you were mad over things then sad, though he was working on the latter! That day at the lake he did know why you were frustrated, you had gotten a new binder in the mail and it had been too small, hopping into the trees when your back started to hurt to take it off and it must have been a few minutes later the picture was taken so he could understand why they made the mistake.

Letting his hand slip from his neck he would bring it to your shoulder slowly before sliding it down your back, happy when you didn’t stiffen to the touch, “We’ll set them straight, Y/n” he tell you first and foremost, pressing a kiss to the top of your head when you would come to rest to his shoulder, “I will be right by your side the whole time and you know you have more then just me in your corner” he remind you gently. All his and your friends supported your relationship and most of them got your pronouns right, a few slip up here and there, but they were always quick to apologize.

Another idea would then come to him and he was humming thoughtfully, “Why don’t we set up camp out here huh? Bit of a break from everything?” he suggest, though really not taking no for an answer as he press another kiss to your temple before rising. He had been about to head out to find you before anyways so all his camping stuff was with him and making sure it was In a bit more secluded spot he would go about getting the tent and a fire pit set up, “Come on sweetheart” he encourage as he got out his pokeballs to let out who he currently had with him, Charizard and a new one he had caught, a Shellos.

Charizard would immediately greet you with a friendly nuzzle before lighting the fire for Leon and a tiny smile would come to your face. Pokemon didn’t care what you looked like really, your gender or anything like that, they just cared who you were and how you treated them. Soon letting out the one you currently had with you, your little Wimpod, you would make your way over to where your boyfriend was looking through ingredients for dinner while the pokemon would have a chance to interact. You would pull up the sleeves of the hoodie to help, the oversized fabric helping you to not see what had been shown in the stupid picture and Leon had no intention of telling you to take it off unless it became a fire risk.

You would slowly forget about the issue for this time out here alone, Leon right in it being just what you needed and soon had curry made. Eating something you made together always helped a content feeling come over you and soon you would be settled in front of the fire on a blanket, just leaning into him once more as you watched the pokemon play. Shellos and Wimpod seeming to be having a small practice battle when a bright light would shine around your pokemon. Watching the little creature evolve you could feel Leon giving you a squeeze before Golisopod was rushing over to you happily. The day was definitely far from perfect and there was a long road ahead to making sure everyone understood the truth, but right now Leon was just happy you were his.

#pokemon #pokemon sword #pokemon shield #pokemon x reader #pokemon leon

[shadowsong26x]

EPIX/Rise of Skywalker Reaction Post

So, I got back from seeing EPIX this morning, and I figured I should get all my thoughts down!

Everything spoilery is behind a cut, and this post is also tagged with the spoiler tags I’ve listed here. If you want me to add any additional tags, let me know and I will to this and any future EPIX posts.

Okay, so, before I really get into this, I should mention two relevant contextual things that probably strongly impacted my feelings on this movie.

I’m not super-invested in the sequel trilogy. I love (most of) the characters, I’m not really into the story that’s being told with them.

Given where TLJ left us, I went into the theatre expecting something between A Trainwreck with Some Delightful Moments and A Delightful Trainwreck. Basically, it was going to be a Hot Mess and I knew it, but I was pretty sure there was going to be something to love, even if the film as a whole didn’t delight me (which, honestly, is even where I stand with TLJ, which remains my least favorite film of the series). And, you know what? I got exactly that. A Sometimes-Delightful Trainwreck. I’d say it’s even towards the upper end of that Delightfulness scale.

All right, moving on to actual thoughts. I’m trying to focus on the positive here, mostly because I did overall enjoy this movie, but I also had some Problems with it.

I’m gonna talk about Kylo Ren first, mostly because I want to get this out of the way. I will say that--when I first saw TFA, I thought I could be interested in this character. I thought they were gonna maybe go the burnt-out gifted kid route with him, which would be hella interesting to explore for the child of Heroes like Han and Leia, and the Legacy he had to live up to. Obviously, they didn’t, and while the direction they went is certainly topical, it’s not super engaging, at least to me. I know it is to some people, and far be it from me to harsh anyone’s squee, but he basically doesn’t do anything for me. I personally don’t find him particularly interesting or intimidating.

Basically, I don’t particularly care about Kylo Ren. (I don’t know if I’m quite at the point where, as my roommate puts it, I aggressively Do Not Care, but the Not Caring is definitely a thing.)

Anyway, that disclaimer aside--his arc was okay, I guess? I mean...I think my general feelings on the subject are not that it felt phoned-in, exactly, but that it was mostly there because the writers thought it should be there, rather than it flowing organically from the character(s) involved. It also felt rushed, but that goes back to a problem with the movie as a whole that I will get into later in this post. But, given that, the actual beats that were involved in said arc I thought were effectively done. The bit with Han in the wreckage, in particular, was nice.

As for that Kiss though.

...I mean. I’m actually kind of pleased that the end of the film left the romantic threads dangling? It gave me plenty of OT3 feels (though I felt like, especially in the first third or so, the film was leaning more towards Rey/Poe and Finn/Rose, but there was some later stuff that seemed to hint at the full OT3 with a question mark on where Rose stands.)

But I do have a problem with the fact that the only on-screen kiss between Major Characters was between Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. That being said, I can backfill/justify it in that...you know how some people headcanon that Luke’s initial crush on Leia was some sort of “There is a Connection Here that I Cannot Name and it’s probably supposed to be Romantic given our ages and genders and presumed lack of other relationship so let’s go with that?” Between something like that and the fact that he just gave up his life for her in a very literal way (side note: the Force has always been New Powers as the Plot Demands; but the healing thing was a) if not actually in a canon novel at least strongly implied and b) ALL OVER fanon so even if I had a problem with Random Force Powers suddenly occurring I wouldn’t have an issue with this one; the Force Diad thing was ~handwave plot device~ sure fine whatever). ...anyway, given all of that, I can backfill it to a way where I don’t hate it (i.e., if he’d lived, I don’t think it would’ve been followed up on very much/they would’ve settled into a non-romantic relationship of some kind, whatever that might’ve been). Except that it’s the only one, which kind of leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Then again, he did immediately die, so...yeah, I can live with this. I don’t like it, and I don’t think I ever will like it, but I don’t hate it either and it’s not a dealbreaker for me.

Most of the other problems I have with this film come down to structure and pacing. In that, thanks to where TLJ left us, this move had to do so much to bring the story to any kind of cohesive end, and not enough time to do it in. Trying to squeeze too much plot into too small a space.

(I actually had the same problem with ROTS initially--although that was more due to the PT having pacing issues as its Primary Narrative Flaw; TPM was way too slow; AOTC actually had good internal pacing but couldn’t quite make up for it; and then ROTS was as a consequence of that really rushed. Meanwhile, with the ST, I feel like the writers are relying on “it’s all there in the manual” a little too much, so not really...trying as hard, if that makes sense? To make it all connect within the film, I mean, as opposed to depending on people going into other/outside/supplemental material to connect the dots (still not as bad as the Prisoner of Azkaban movie on that front, but it’s still Bad; and, like, all film versions of novels leave some stuff out, just look at the LOTR films; but POA left out a key plot point and that--is a rant for another post. Back to EPIX). It’ll be interesting to see what kind of deleted scenes come out, or if it’ll grow on me in future watchings. Not that it’ll ever become a favorite, I don’t think, but it might improve in my eyes.)

Anyway, basically, a lot of this felt rushed or like...introduced but not really addressed/wrapped up in any kind of satisfactory fashion? Kylo Ren’s arc in particular, as I’ve mentioned before, plus the Threepio stuff felt rushed and non-consequential, and also with Rey’s arc to an extent (it...again, all the beats worked for me/I thought it was fairly effective, but it really needed two movies to pay off as well as it could have). ...I mean, there are more plot threads I could probably mention here, but those are the three that stuck out the most.

Also, this movie needed More Rose :( I LOVE HER and she was barely here!!!!!

Another thing I would’ve liked to see is...okay, I really liked the Overlapping Voices bit, but it would’ve been nice to have more Presence from the ghosts? Like...there’s a bit at the end of season 1 of Sailor Moon where she’s in the Final Battle, the other four have died (or just been left behind, if you’re watching the English dub), and their ghosts show up and place their hands on hers and lend her their strength? A visual cue like that would’ve been great and helped the arc feel more complete. Especially since Palpatine had all of his predecessors/Sith ghosts backing him in a more visible fashion. But, then again, that’s a Personal Taste thing and while it would’ve, IMO, made that moment better, not having it doesn’t make it worse, if that makes sense?

(Also, the credits moved too fast for me to track, but I definitely saw Qui-Gon Jinn listed, though I don’t recall hearing him, and I definitely recognized Anakin/Hayden Christensen and Mace/Samuel L. Jackson and Obi-Wan/Ewan McGreggor (and Alec Guinness I’m pretty sure?) and obvs. Yoda/Frank Oz when actually listening, but I couldn’t identify the other voices--anyone have the full list? Was Ahsoka and/or Kanan and/or Ezra involved, or was it restricted to movie-only Jedi?)

But...yeah. Apart from the Kiss being very ....:/ for me, most of my identifiable problems with the film is stuff like this.

I think the other thing I want to talk about in detail is the Rey Palpatine reveal.

So, up until this movie, I was actually in my corner flying my tiny but determined Rey Kenobi flag, and the more I think about it, the more I like Rey Palpatine for some of the same reasons? Like...I don’t remember everything I’d thought through about Rey Kenobi, but it had to do with the cyclical nature of Star Wars, and bringing it back where it started--and we get that with Rey Palpatine, in a nice arc, healing some of the damage her grandfather did, both to this family and to the galaxy as a whole.

That being said--those of you who know me and my fic projects know I’ve been writing a child (daughter) for Palpatine for quite some time now, and I have no intention of stopping, lol. Am I going to take this/Lavinia’s (presumably) half-brother into account in future projects? ...probably not. But I am looking forward to/hoping we get a novel or something about him and Rey’s mother. Because that is actually a story I’m interested in--why canon!Palpatine chose to have a kid, and how said kid managed to break away and got to this point. [...y’know, I actually think Rey Kenobi’s background/thread of descent would be less interesting to me? Since I subscribe to the idea that a) Korkie Kryze is Obi-Wan’s biological son; and b) Obi-Wan had many Friends With Benefits throughout the galaxy and figuring out exactly which one Rey descends from carries less weight for me.]

...okay, I think that’s all the Detaily Bits I want to get into, so here are some bullet points of things that really stuck out to me, in no particular order:

Bawled like a baby re: everything involving Carrie Fisher. Just...yeah. Miss you Space Mommy.

LANDO! I loved his entrance, I loved him adopting Jannah at the end, I loved all of it.

Chewie’s fake-out death was also actually pretty good/well-handled. I mean. First Boom happens and I’m like DDDDDDD: but then I remember how people reacted to his death in Legends and I’m like would they really do it and then DELIGHT.

HUX. Okay. I never really cared about this dude before, and honestly I still don’t really care about this dude but at the same time, those of you who know me know I have a Thing for double-agents and defectors and I LOVE THIS WHOLE ENTIRE PLOT THREAD. I LOVE THIS SHITHEAD TURNING TRAITOR FOR THE MOST VENAL REASONS AND STILL BEING A BAD GUY/EVIL/AN UNREPENTANT JACKASS. THIS WAS PERFECT.

(Also Finn shooting him in the leg instead of the arm as requested was DELIGHTFUL)

SPEAKING OF DELIGHTFUL gotta love Zombie Skeev Palpatine Unliving His Best Afterlife. Was he as Delightful as he is in ROTS or ROTJ? No. Did I still enjoy every minute of his scenery-chewing nonsense? You bet your ass. So happy, Ian McDiarmid looked like he was having tons of fun and honestly what more could I have asked for?

The whole scene on Ahch-To was just *chef’s kiss.* Use of Yoda’s theme with the rising X-Wing, Luke being snarky and kind and beautiful, him emerging from the fire with the saber...just loved it.

LEIA HAD JEDI TRAINING AND HER OWN LIGHTSABER. BB!MARK HAMILL AND BB!CARRIE FISHER’S FACES.

LEIA TRAINING REY. REY CALLING HER ‘MASTER.’

USING THE BOND TO ARM KYLO REN okay like I said I have Mixed Feelings about the arc as a whole but that moment was SO COOL.

Poe’s ex-girlfriend was pretty great, ngl.

JANNAH AND EX-STORMTROOPERS YESSSSSSSS

HINTS OF/SHREDS OF EVIDENCE FOR FORCE-SENSITIVE FINN GIVE THEM TO ME NOW.

D-0 was pretty cute!

All of the Badass Finn.

Also that MOMENT where Finn runs up to Poe like “I NEED TO TELL YOU A THING” and Poe is all “I NEED YOU TO FIGHT WITH ME” and Finn just interrupts himself to thank Poe and they have that “General” “General” moment and it’s SO CUTE I’m love it.

The entire thing at the Lars farm at the end. Just. Burying the lightsabers, seeing the twins’ ghosts, claiming the Skywalker name, Rey having her own saber now. This movie was a Hot Mess but it definitely ended on a high note.

...that’s pretty much what I have for right now. I will probably have more thoughts after discussing it with other people/seeing it again (because I will be seeing it again). But overall...do I like it? Well, it’s Star Wars, which I love and which frankly always has some Super Dumb and/or Frustrating Stuff, and the things I disliked weren’t bad enough to Ruin It for me, so yes, I liked it. Is it my favorite Star Wars/good for a Star Wars movie? ...not really, no. It did have some gorgeous moments, but it doesn’t really hang together. Like the rest of the ST, it relies way too much on It’s All There In The Manual and, between that and the fact that TLJ didn’t do the work necessary to set it up, the movie felt rushed and a little bit...I don’t want to say hollow, maybe shallow is a better word? I mean, I know this is Star Wars and It’s Not That Deep (but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig or however the quote goes), but this felt particularly shallow even for Star Wars. Like...cotton candy, fairly good/tasty but a little bit prone to melting away and with very little substance holding it together. On that level, I’d actually probably rank it around Solo (which, let me say, I really like)--so, better than TLJ, but still A Hot Mess of a movie. But I enjoyed myself, and I think overall my feelings are middling-to-positive on it. Even if...honestly, even like less than four hours after the movie ending, I’m already forgetting like half the plot points...? Like I said. Cotton Candy.

What did/do you guys think?

#star wars spoilers #sw spoilers #epix spoilers #episode ix spoilers #spoilers #star wars epix #star wars episode ix #epix

[argorpg-blog]

CONGRATULATIONS and welcome to the crew of the Argo II, SOPHIE! The Gods have spoken: welcome aboard AMBITIO, known as LAUREL ZHOU, with a faceclaim of JESSICA HENWICK. Please take a look at our checklist, and send in your account in the next 24 hours. 

ADMIN NOTE: Below the cut, you will find the first of our two sample apps. Hopefully this will be helpful in answering any questions you have about our application, as well as show you how acceptances will be formatted when we accept on October 26th. This is where an admin note regarding the application will be on acceptance day. 

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME/ALIAS: Sophie

AGE, TIMEZONE, PRONOUNS: 21, aest, she/her.

ACTIVITY & EXTRAS: I do have class and work, but I consider myself good at time-managing and can generally make it on for a few hours a day, particularly as I'm also an admin. That being said, I do have a break soon so hopefully my activity should be pretty good all around! Solid 8/10.

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED SKELETON: Ambitio

CHARACTER NAME: Laurel Mei Zhou

( LAUREL ) - Wreath worn on the head as a symbol of victory, dating back to Ancient Greece and Rome. Close family and friends may refer to Laurel as El or Ellie.

( MEI ) - Beautiful in Chinese, named after her mother Chia-mei Zhou.

( ZHOU ) - Family surname of Chinese origin, originating from the Zhou Dynasty, passed down on the maternal side.

AGE & GENDER: 26, cisfemale (she/her pronouns)

FACECLAIM: Jessica Henwick, Chloe Bennet, Katie Findlay

BIOGRAPHY:

FIVE YEARS OLD.

She cries a lot. She's small for her age and the slightest upset sends her running home in tears, pushing others in the playground. Her mother always looks vaguely confused, and her favourite phrases to tell Laurel are being a warrior is in your blood, and you'll grow out of it. Laurel is always doubtful of this, but her uncle isn’t. He's always concerned, in the way that makes her feel loved, taking her out for overpriced ice cream at the bodega down the street, always buying the bandaids with the cartoons on it. Laurel grows up always begging to go to her uncle's house, and when he dies, all she wants to do is crawl into bed and eat their favourite ice cream (mint chocolate chip).

Mama has other ideas - she wants to channel grief into productivity. She signs Laurel up for Brownies, judo class, swimming sports at the local events center. Before long Laurel becomes so busy that she can't even remember her uncle's face anymore. Just that feeling of love, and peppermint ice cream bursting on her tongue.

TWELVE YEARS OLD.

She's crying less now. She's too busy to cry, too grown up to cry. Her mother looks at her with pride and keeps photos in her wallet to show her friends. Laurel pretends to be embarrassed but privately she loves the attention her mother divides to her. Sometimes she still cries - once a year at Uncle's grave, under the covers after a nightmare, sometimes when she catches sight of something frightening out of the corner of her eye. Other adults always say Monsters aren't real, Laurel, but Mama never does, only, Don't be afraid, Ellie.

There are trophies lining her tiny little room in their even tinier New York flat, medals from kickboxing, certificates from Girl Scouts.There is never a dull day in the Zhou household, and one day her mother brings home a man and they turn from two into a compact little family of three. Laurel is a flower girl at their wedding, and she alternates between feeling pleased at all the attention and wondering why her real parents never got married, why Mama never mentions her father.

FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.

A monster launches at Laurel right after swim practice. She escapes by the skin of her teeth, thanks to all those years of self defense lessons, and when she runs into the house covered in cuts and monster dust, all her mother says is Get in the car, Ellie. She doesn't say a thing for the whole ride and it drives Laurel up the walls, but suddenly all she can think of is all the practices she's missing, all this time wasted that she could be practicing.

Her mother drives her to the Wolf House and doesn't say I love you, or Goodbye, or Be safe. She says, Make us proud, and by the time Laurel's figured out whether it's a choice or not, she's standing in the dust left behind from the car. She is fourteen when she trains with Lupa, and she gives up everything she has to prove herself - and then gives a little more after that. It isn't easy (nothing is ever easy) but when Lupa finally gives her a nod of approval, Laurel feels like she is flying miles high, grasping for the light of success among all the loneliness, and she doesn't ever want to let go. Make us proud, her mother said, so Laurel fights all the way to Camp Jupiter, and some more after that, because she learns to love it.

Laurel meets her father at the gates of Camp Jupiter. He is not smiling, but there is something amiss in the glint of his eye, and when he says Well done, she knows he means it. He claims her right after, and kneeling at his feet as his symbol glows above her, she pledges her life away forever. (Only she didn't know it then.)

SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.

The Cohorts leave to defend Mount Othrys, and despite everything, despite the way she trains and goes to bed sweaty, wakes up at the crack of dawn to get ready, Laurel is put in a defensive line. Mars hasn't visited since she was fourteen, and mother always said if you want something, earn it, so the choice is easy. Break out of rank, new battle formations, she plays every trick in the book - and she isn't revolutionary, but it's enough. When she lies bleeding out in the infirmary days later, Mars appears to her in a dream, and she knows that she's done good, that the knife she'd taken is a small price for that piece of recognition, that she’d do it over and over again just to hear him say I’m proud of you.

EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD.

She is shaping up to be one of the Legion's biggest and brightest. People fear her, nickname her hardass, talk about how she can't take a joke (or a break), but none of it ever seems to matter. She hasn't talked to her mother in a year, she has not so much friends but competition. She leads her first successful mission under Mars’ guidance, and comes home with six new scars and a fair bit of trauma. When asked about her success, she says it is the best year of her life.

TWENTY YEARS OLD.

Laurel votes for peace over war, and it is the first time she has seen Mars truly angry. When she goes home, it takes hours of tossing and turning before she can finally get to sleep. When she wakes up in the morning, her pillow is wet from tears, and the sensation is so foreign, like the last time she talked to her mom. (Don't cry, Ellie Mei.) She can't quite decide whether her mother would be disappointed or proud of her. She'd always encouraged Laurel to speak her own mind - but she also always thinks war is the right path, and suddenly Laurel can't bear to pick get on a bus back home and find out. When she steps outside the door, the third Cohort are all angry, and she knows it is a side effect from her father. One of the praetors comes calling later that afternoon, saying things in a condescending tone like we can't afford to have the god of war against us and you need to fix this, Laurel. She's not sure when it became her problem to solve, her burden to bear, and she tells herself she doesn't care, that her father's life and thoughts don't define her.

But the next morning, Laurel gets up early and goes to change her vote. War, it seems, always wins.

TWENTY THREE.

When Laurel is twenty three she tries her hand at dating. It's good for a while (it's better than good, but she would never say it), but it always seems to end the same way. You never make time for me. You're always busy training. I'll never live up to your expectations. Once, she is told that you're always going to put your other commitments first. It hurts - but it's not exactly untrue. Laurel stops looking for serious relationships after that.

TWENTY SIX.

When Laurel is picked for the quest, nobody is surprised, least of all her. There isn't a choice, not really, not for someone who's been raised to be the best at everything. Her life has been a series of accomplishments and sacrificing every piece of herself for victory - yet, looking in the eyes of her father, she knows if she fails this, no other accomplishment could ever matter. Now, boarding the Argo, she’s not sure whats more important: saving the world, or saving her pride.

FATAL FLAW/DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC:

AMBITION. Ambition has always been Laurel's downfall - she suspects as much, too, yet that doesn't make it any less dangerous. She would give up the world in a heartbeat if it meant she could keep her place as War's Daughter, if it meant it would make her father proud. In the past, her ambition has driven her to the brink of self-exhaustion, lack of communication, it has isolated her from the beautiful things in life. She is always thinking about the bigger picture, never about the small details that make it possible. She has jumped in front of a knife many times to satisfy her ambition... and she wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Even at the fate of the world. Even at the fate of herself.

EXTRAS

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[spideyxchelle]

i would really like to see the domestic side to college spideychelle,, like where they have to sniff the suspicious looking thai takeout cuz they have nooo idea how long it's been sitting out for, board game nights and inviting ned over but ned sorta just settles back because the two get highly competitive with one another when it comes to jenga and sorry. just stuff like that yannooooo???

fluff is NOT my forte, fam. but i love you all so I will try for you precious people. don’t hate me if its not any good. 

DOMESTIC SPIDEYCHELLE IN COLLEGE COMING UP 

for the first two years of college in Cambridge (Peter at MIT and MJ at Harvard) they live on campus. 

they do the stereotypical college thing with dorms and dorm-mates and Co-ed bathrooms and shitty dorm food in their halls and parties in tiny dorm rooms with home-made wine that is questionable at best

and in the midst of all of the crazy college firsts MJ and Peter start dating

they were on the cusp of something all throughout high school but in Cambridge they are a train ride away from each other and that little bit of space makes the heart grow fonder or some shit

toward the end of freshman year while everyone else is figuring out what they like and what they want, MJ and Peter throw themselves head first in a pretty serious relationship, like it feels like the one that matters, y’know? 

THE relationship. 

and its not scary, actually its nice to have something so certain in the middle of midterms and hangovers and existential crisis at 3 am

so its a no brainer their junior year when everyone is moving off campus that Peter and MJ would move in together 

they pick a place that is between MIT and Harvard and near the train so they can live their lives/get to class without much fuss 

and their apartment is shitty but it is theirs

Mr. Stark offers to throw some money at Peter so he can live in a place that isn’t a dump but MJ is so excited about renovating their place, painting it up, picking out furniture that he can’t take that away from her… “nah, I’m good” 

and when they move into their one bedroom because “don’t act like we aren’t gonna sleep in the same bed, parker” it needs a LOT of work

and they spend the better part of two weeks in the summer painting (which turns their bedroom in a Jackson Pollock inspired piece because they have a full-on paint fight which turns into making out on the floor) and MJ drags peter along to every antique store in Cambridge and auctions to fill their apartment with an eclectic group of things that have character

the only piece of furniture that isn’t vintage or an “art piece” is their bed….because Peter is like “I refuse to sleep on something that someone else has slept on…we’re GOING TO IKEA”

and MJ gives in because he’s cute and that works in his favor, okay???

but once its done the Jones-Parker household is all color and life and books jammed into every corner and tea cups sitting on those books and the ORANGE chair which MJ loves and Peter hates and its gigantic and such an eye sore (but Peter ends up loving the chair when he comes home and MJ is curled up like a cat in it with a book resting on her chest as she naps) 

and the first three weeks there is take-out everywhere but Peter’s got a REALLY sensitive noise because of Spider-man stuff so that stops being a thing real fast

and besides, their favorite thing becomes cooking together in their small kitchen which means that PETER cooks and MJ hovers because he knows how to cook and MJ enjoys telling him what he’s doing wrong even though she doesn’t have a clue

and they have GAME NIGHT every Sunday night after Game of Thrones because MJ is in love with dragons and Jon Snow because he knows nothing and apparently she’s “got a thing for boys that don’t know anything”… Peter kisses her quiet

but GAME NIGHT is not all kisses. oh no. MJ is competitive as hell. and all of their friends from MIT and Harvard are a little afraid of her. and what’s worse is that Peter matches her intensity. not because he cares, oh no he could give a shit, but because it riles MJ up…..and its like a really awesome round of foreplay. everyone pretends they don’t know what happens after they all go home. but they know. they know. 

the Jones-Parker residence closet that they share between the pair of them is fun. like MJ is taller but Peter is broader and so they wear the same size. and so their closet is a mix of clothes and they mix and match and it stops being his and hers and becomes theirs

Peter always wakes up first and Peter loves waking up in their apartment because waking up to MJ is the best thing ever. the sun lights her up in the most beautiful way: her hair is always a rats nest and she snores a little and GOSH she’s cute. 

while MJ always goes to sleep after Peter. and she likes the way the moon colors his skin. he looks so soft and young when he sleeps. and sometimes while she’s reading in bed she’ll look down and Peter will be sleeping with his head in her lap and OMG CAN HE NOT?!?! its too much for her heart

and their apartment always looks a little bit like chaos incarnate but when midterms and finals roll around it becomes a STRAIGHT UP MESS because books are on every surface and Peter naps upside-down on the ceiling and MJ drinks more coffee than any human should consume and its a mad house

but after finals every semester they celebrate by napping on their couch

CRAZY KIDS, I KNOW

except sometimes they can be crazy kids

like MJ doesn’t like to party much but Peter finds he likes college parties

he’s really good at beer games and doesn’t really get drunk because superhero and so parties suit him fine

and MJ loves him so she indulges Peter’s little party boy weekend life

the one part of partying Peter DOESN’T like is that people hit on his girlfriend because MJ is smart and witty and pretty and FRANKLY it pisses him off

he can barely enjoy crushing it at beer pong when he can see some dude approach his girlfriend on the chair she’s claimed to read on and these dudes FLIRT with her

he handles his jealously by challenging guys/girl/whoever hits on MJ to a duel….ahem, beer pong

MJ thinks its dumb. she’s got agency, makes her own decisions. but if it makes Peter less of a grumpy monkey she supposes she can pick her battles. 

BUT YEA college is pretty fun. they go to parties, hang out with their friends at their apartment, sleep in on Sundays and study together and their lives become intertwined in a way Peter loves (MJ too but she’d never give him the satisfaction of saying so)

so at the end of their senior year two weeks before graduation MJ asks Peter to marry her. not with a ring or anything but just BECAUSE. she’s got a job as a Junior Staff writer at The New Yorker post-graduation and Peter is ON PAPER joining Stark Industries as an engineer (which is code for Avenging) and while he could stay in Cambridge she’s moving back to New York and she wants him to go with her. SO WHY NOT GET MARRIED?

she asks him at like 2 am on a Wednesday while he’s half asleep and Peter is pretty sure he dreamed it so he says yes. but the following morning he finds MJ sipping tea on the couch and looking at engagement rings for men and Peter is confused. which she clears up by saying they got engaged last night. and that she took the liberty of changing his relationship status on facebook. AND ITS A LOT BECAUSE WHATTTT?!

he checks his phone which has approximately 56 missed calls from May, Ned, Tony and his other friends. 

MJ blinks up at him and asks if he doesn’t actually wanna marry her. and when he can think straight again he tells her to wait, goes to their bedroom and grabs the ring he’s been carrying around for seven months and hands it to her. she raises her eyebrow, “what’s this?” “you beat me to the punch, MJ” “good. can’t have you enforcing gender roles, now can we?”

and just like that they’re engaged

when they graduate two weeks later MJ is wearing his engagement ring and Peter is wearing the one she got made for him. and things are good. things are really good. 

#anon #asks #spideychelle #college au #GUYS I HOPE THIS IS FLUFF??? is this fluff?? #headcanon

[lovenotesuggestions]

I hit 5k followers in the last couple of days! Thank you for all of your support, I never could have imagined this little blog would get so much of a following, and I’m so grateful I could share this with you. Seeing you guys tag your significant others and send in your suggestions and asks about the people you love always brightens my day. 

I realised I’ve never actually told the story on here of how I got together with my boyfriend Elijah, the person who inspired this blog, so I figure now is as good a time as any! (Content warnings for mentions of emotional abuse, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, self-harm, consumption of alcohol, and transphobia) It’s sort of a long story, so I’ll put it under a cut.

Elijah and I met in school when we were about 14 - he transferred to my school from a different part of the city. We became close quite quickly; we were in some of the same classes, and lived nearby to one another so we would often walk home together, and he ended up falling in with the friendship group I was in. (I ended up finding out later on that he actually had a crush on me around the time we first met, and I was his first “same gender” crush - neither of us had come out as trans by that point. People sometimes asked if we were a couple because we were quite physically affectionate and walked home holding hands a lot, and it was pretty well-known by that point that I was queer.) 

We got even closer as time went on, especially seeing as we ended up going to the same college (the last two years of high school in Britain, which you attend age 16-18). It was a fair commute from where we lived, and we grew a lot closer while we were there, partly because we spent a lot of time travelling across the city to class and back together, especially in second year when I passed my driving test and bought a car, so it was just the two of us driving back and forth almost every weekday. I have memories of glancing over to check my wing mirror and seeing him out of the corner of my eye and feeling my throat go dry when I was first starting to crush on him. 

However, until this point nothing had really happened between us beyond friendship, as for the duration of our friendship up to that point, I was already in a long-distance relationship with someone else.

Things really started happening around spring 2016. My life took something of a downward spiral. A combination of the stress from the build-up to final exams, and a realisation I was unhappy in my relationship kick-started a very dark period of my life. The relationship I was in had never been healthy, but things were pretty much getting worse and worse over time, and evolving into emotional abuse. I won’t go into too much detail about it here because it could be very triggering, but I’ve talked about it on my personal blog if anyone is interested. The posts are here: 1 | 2 (Obviously, major trigger warnings for mention of emotional abuse, transphobia, self-harm, and depression)

At the same time, I was starting to have doubts about the relationship for other reasons, namely that my attraction to my partner was waning and I was worried it might be because I was a lesbian after all (I had identified as a lesbian for a while when I was around 13/14 before coming to realise I was probably pan instead). What I didn’t realise at the time was that my attraction was waning because he was an asshole, and not because I had been secretly gay the whole time. At first, I had felt sort of been a generalised desire to be in a relationship with a girl, but after a short while, I realised it was more like I was interested in one particular person: the aforementioned best friend Elijah, who at the time had not come out to me as a trans man. 

After some soul searching, I figured out that the issue with my sexuality crisis wasn’t the gender identity of my partner, it was my own gender identity. I thought I was unhappy because I was dating a man, but it had actually been because I didn’t want to be a girl dating a guy, and the sexuality issues I was having were actually a result of misdirected dysphoria. I eventually began to suspect I was non-binary, and things started to make a lot more sense. However, I still hadn’t quite figured out the other reasons I was unhappy, namely that my partner was abusive. And the revelation about my gender identity didn’t do anything to make the feelings I was developing for my friend go away.

Elijah and I came out to each other as trans at the same time a short while after this, and even though our gender identities and what we wanted out of transition were different, I found his support invaluable, and having someone who knew how I felt was really encouraging. As we grew ever closer, it became harder and harder to deny I was falling in love with him.

I did what I thought was the responsible thing and came clean to my partner at the time about the feelings I had for Elijah, thinking that would be the best way to work through them (he could tell there was something wrong anyway, and it wouldn’t have been realistic to hide them), but it only made things worse. My partner’s jealous tendencies and possessive/controlling behaviour got worse tenfold, and by the summer of 2016, things were getting really difficult, especially combined with prospect of moving in with him. We had been long distance, and he was planning to go to the same university as me in the autumn of that year and we would live together. I was having major doubts as our relationship grew more toxic, but he manipulated me into agreeing to it. That, combined with the stress of having taken my exams, the lack of routine over the long summer break, my ongoing battle with figuring out my identity, and the guilt I was feeling over my emotional unfaithfulness (plus the normal difficulties of what I thought was an unrequited crush) dropped me into a pretty bad depressive spiral. 

All of that culminated in me kissing Elijah at a party we were at in the mid-summer. My boyfriend was freaking out at me via messages and harassing me constantly well into the night because he hated me going out with friends in the evenings, which I did very rarely anyway. It got to the point where I felt so suffocated that I just stopped caring, and I got really drunk and basically confessed to my friend (though I did it in a jokey way so there was an element of plausible deniability) and I ended up kissing him. In a way, it was sort of a cry for help - I wanted out of the relationship so badly that I thought the only way might be to cheat so that my partner would break up with me, because I couldn’t break up with him without being manipulated and guilt-tripped. But of course, there was also an element of being so head-over-heels that I couldn’t stop myself. When we finally got home from the party in the early hours of the morning (Elijah stayed at my place because his mum is weird about him getting home late), we fell asleep cuddling, and it was the first time I’d felt truly tranquil in a long time. I remember so clearly falling asleep with my arms around him and thinking how perfectly he fit in my arms, and how beautiful he looked in the light of the sunrise.

But of course, it had repercussions. I had been hoping my partner would leave me when he found out I had kissed my friend, but it only made things worse. His controlling behaviour got a thousand times worse, and he attempted to make my friend and I cut all contact, which I put my foot down at, but our communications were limited and heavily monitored. Shortly after, I moved into my university halls with him, and the downward spiral continued. I was stressed from schoolwork, stressed from my constant anxiety from being trapped in a tiny room 24/7 with my abuser, and my depression meant my immune system tanked, so I was completely knocked out by a very nasty strain of fresher’s flu for the best part of a month. I was isolated from my friends and support systems pretty much entirely, and I was sort of at rock bottom. 

Things started turning around in the winter time of that year. I finally recovered from being ill, and my partner was slowly beginning to relax about me seeing my friends, though I was still very restricted in how long I could spend with them and it still made me very anxious to talk to him even about plans to get coffee with my friend group because his reaction was always negative, just less so than before. But after a considerable amount of time of being very isolated, being able to see my friends, but especially Elijah, improved my mood quite dramatically. I tried to find any opportunity I could to see him around our work and school schedules, because being with him was the only time I was ever really happy. 

And then the Christmas holidays came around, and my partner went home for Christmas to his family, and it was only when he was gone that I realised how much safer I felt when I wasn’t around him. I went home to spend the holidays with my parents, and it came as a shock to me how much my anxiety subsided being away from my boyfriend. I could also spend more time with Elijah without him breathing down my neck about it, and we hung out a lot - we went ice skating with our friends and spent most of the time sitting together chatting and cuddling and nose-kissing, and we went to a Christmas party together and people assumed we were a couple and said we should get together (we’ve always been very affectionate) and the whole holiday period was something of an epiphany about how much brighter I felt about spending more time with Elijah and away from my abusive partner. 

And then when my partner came back after Christmas, and I was suddenly miserable again, and I realised something needed to be done. I’d had conversations with friends over the time I’d been apart from my partner that gave me the uncomfortable realisation that my situation wasn’t sustainable. My plan had been to stay with him until the academic year ended as there was no way to get out of my housing contract with him, and I feared what would happen if I had to continue to live him after we split up, but I was starting to realise it wasn’t realistic, and I wasn’t actually sure if I would survive that long - my self-harm habit was getting worse, and I frequently found myself wishing I didn’t exist. 

But I was still struggling to actually go through with it. I tried a couple of times to broach the subject and tell my boyfriend I just didn’t want to be with him anymore, I didn’t feel the same way about him as he did about me, but each time, I felt guilted into promising I would try to fix things; he was convinced he would never love again and he would be alone forever and spoke as though I was condemning him to have nobody care about him forever, and seeing as I’d been pretty much trained to put his needs before my own, I was always talked into holding off. 

I finally managed to break through in early January, and I couldn’t have done it without Elijah. I was trying to spend as much time with him as I could because I’d missed him over the autumn months (I had to lie about who I was with to my partner to swing it) and I would come home afterwards grinning uncontrollably because I was so happy from being with him. 

I ended up kissing him again a few times while we were hanging out together, and we basically acted like a couple the whole time we were together - we had a Harry Potter movie marathon and cuddled in his bed, and it was the happiest I’d been in a long time. I felt like I’d forgotten what being happy felt like, and even though I wouldn’t normally encourage or condone infidelity, I feel like it gave me the agency and strength to finally push through the guilt and manipulation and fin escape the abusive relationship. I finally managed to break up with him, even though it took days of fighting and guilt-tripping until he finally accepted it, and even then he begged for us to basically act like we were still together even if we were officially broken up. He was still reliant on me and expected me to support him through the breakup and deal with his distress, piling on more and more guilt, but this time, I finally had someone pulling me through it, giving me the strength to put myself first rather than letting him manipulate me. I had seen what it was like to be happy and to be with a person I actually felt safe with, rather than with someone that I feared.

The day after I officially got out of the old relationship, I went to see Elijah again, and we had the “what are we” discussion and officially became a couple. It was the happiest I’d felt in years, and it was sort of surreal in a way. I felt safe and respected (my old partner had never really respected my gender identity, but one of the first conversations I had with Elijah after we got together was about what I wanted to be called in terms of gender-neutral terms for boyfriend/girlfriend) and things only got better from there. 

I moved part-time back in with my parents; thankfully I only study about 10 miles from my parents’ place, so I could commute to class unless I had super early lectures and I only had to stay at halls a couple days a week, and I reduced contact with my ex, until I finally moved out for good at Easter, after which I didn’t have any more timetabled classes, so I didn’t have to see him pretty much at all after that. I was right in thinking things would be bad after we split up, and it took me a while to realise that I didn’t need him in my life, and to eventually come to terms with the fact that his treatment of me was emotional abuse. But it was worth it in the end, because with Elijah, I’m not afraid. I don’t have to live in fear of anger or jealousy or possessiveness. I can speak honestly about how I feel, and I’m valued and my boundaries are respected. He’s patient and kind about even my most irrational of anxieties and triggers from my past relationship. I started to feel optimistic about my future, my self-harm habit pretty much disappeared overnight, and I didn’t want to die anymore. I’m still working through the anxiety that sprung from my abuse, but by far the thing that’s helped me the most is having someone with me who loves me and treats me how I know I deserve to be treated. I have a whole life to look forward to with the love of my life, and I don’t want to waste a second of it. 

We’ve been best friends for nearly five years, I’ve been in love with him for a year and a half, we’ve been officially together for 9 months now, and living together for 2, in a home where we can both be ourselves without fear. He’s proof that things really do get better, and I love him more every day. 

#about the mod #not a suggestion #about a love #long post #abuse / #depression / #self harm / #suicide / #alcohol / #anxiety / #transphobia /