#maybe i can see those two as just a little neurodivergent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enderblogs-24 · 3 months

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"Everyone's autistic now," "Why's there so much autism," "So many kids faking autism these days."

You know. I had been suspecting I was autistic since I started to understand what that meant, around middle school. I was working with two different autistic kids in a Girl Scout troop I led with my mom, and they did/said things that felt familiar. But I didn't dare bring up those thoughts, because my little cousin was autistic, that was his thing, and I didn't want to seem like I was looking for attention.

I started looking into autism for real when I hit my 20's, because those suspicions never went away... just buried. I had been focusing on other areas of my life anyway - my transition. But that was over, and I could see that things were still "off" about me. I love diving deep into different disabilities, disorders, and mental illnesses, but avoided autism because I was scared of what I'd find. I took maybe one test, masked up and guarded as hell, and because of that it said I wasn't autistic. I didn't answer truthfully, so I went looking elsewhere. ADHD, maybe. I ended up trying to get an ADHD diagnosis, and got misdiagnosed with a personality disorder that can be misdiagnosed in autistic adults. I felt I didn't have an option but to accept the diagnosis, because I was on my way to Chicago; out of time and out of money.

Nearly six months after the misdiagnosis, while I had been looking into the personality disorder and knew for certain I didn't meet the criteria for a diagnosis, (but masked through the appointments, which is how I got it) I had worked extensively on unmasking. I learned many neurodivergencies masked, and thought I'd give unmasking a shot, soon realizing I'd been doing it forever. Once I got better at unmasking, I eventually looked into autism again. What would it hurt to be told no twice? I took a couple quizzes again. Slowed down, answered honestly, and gave every answer my full attention. And I scored high on every one. It was terrifying. But it was also... a relief? While a few of those quizzes weren't too be taken seriously, I did take tests on official sites made by and for autistic people. When I came home from Chicago in summer 2022, I told my mom and showed her all my past scores on official tests like the RAADS, one of which I take annually. Part of me still has doubts that I'm not faking it, I guess.

All of this, at least past 2021, has occurred while people have been posting their own stores about discovering and getting diagnosed as adults. While I initially started looking into things on my own, hearing these people's stories on occasion really, really helped. Random strangers on the internet in a reel telling me they'd been overlooked because they were afab, did well in school, and didn't have many other adults around to see a difference... really helped. I could sneak into the autistic tags on Tumblr and look around at posts, relate to them silently, write down my findings in my little notebook, and go about my day. This "autism boom" as it were really helped, just because everyone suddenly showing off who they are, telling the world "I'm different and that's okay," really, really... helped. I know why I've always felt different and wrong, I know why I struggle with certain things, and I know why certain things will likely never be possible on my own. That's so much better than going thrift my life wondering and beating myself up because I can't function like everyone else.

Everyone isn't suddenly being diagnosed as autistic, now. People are just... starting to listen. Starting to get more comfortable. Obtaining more resources. And it's really nice. ❤️

#actually autistic #autistic #autism #actuallyautistic #late diagnosed autistic #ender's life #he/they

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princessfbi · 11 months

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okey so i need some tv recs for this hiatus 911 fan overall procedure fans i guess that's all the vibe i can think of to ask lol so hit me with your recs

EXCELLENT! So glad you’ve come to me Nonnie. I am honored. This is in no particular order but in terms of general procedurals with similar 911 vibes I’ve got a couple:

1. Sirens

It’s about a paramedic team in Chicago and it’s fucking hilarious. We're talking laugh out loud can still quote it from memory hilarious. There’s two seasons and each episode is about 25 minutes so it’s easy to get through. There is a British counterpart that is also funny but it’s definitely a different tone for sure.

**If you were a fan of Arrow then you'll recognize Josh Segarra

***Also you can scream with me and @lucydonato about the show

2. ER

I always describe 911 to people as ER for first responders. Part of that is because it’s so episodic. It gets really melodramatic at times and there are a LOT of story lines but for the most part the general stakes keep to one episode at a time and the show gives you permission to let things go which is nice. I’m a fan of the earlier seasons as opposed to the later seasons but Angela Bassett is in the last season. Lots of great guest spots and very character driven.

**Characters do die in this show so be aware of MCD warnings. No one is safe in that show. Except maybe Noah Wylie but that's cus it's Noah Wylie.

3. Numb3rs

It’s an awesome crime procedural with a twist on it. The oldest brother, Don, is an FBI agent who has his baby brother, Charlie, help him solve crime using math. This show has all the tropes too. Brother relationship, found family, etc etc.

4. Psych

It’s a procedural with a much lighter tone. Shawn pretends to be psychic and solves crime. It’s chaotic and messy and wonderful and perfect.

**Gives me coming home from the pool and vegging on the couch summer vibes.

5. Castle

On the same side of the coin, it’s another procedural with a twist. Castle is a successful mystery novelist who helps solve crime. Nathan Fillion for those fans of The Rookie and there's a lot powerful female characters in it.

6. Murder, She Wrote

MSW walked so that Castle could run. This is an oldie but a good. Angela Lansbury is a mystery writer who solves crime. It’s super cool knowing that she insisted on hiring a lot of older guest stars so that they could continue to be in the union and get their benefits. Also omg the 80s/90s wardrobe. There's also a couple of episodes with other detectives and crime solvers when Angela started to get tired carrying the weight of quality television on her shoulders.

7. Drop Dead Diva

THIS is such a good law procedural. It has the added bonus as having the same casting director as 911 so you’ll see a lot of familiar faces. But Deb is a model who died and got reincarnated in the body of a plus size lawyer named Jane and it’s the most wonderful little nugget that just existed in its own space. It was SO ahead of it's time on certain issues and it deals with a variety of topics such as body shaming, slut shaming, mental health, etc in such a kind and compassionate and positive way.

**Gives me late summer 'I haven't moved from the couch and omg it's season three' vibes

8. Scorpion

A team of geniuses (with neurodivergent representation in action genre scenarios) who help solve crime and crisis situations for homeland security. Lots of found family feelings! SO MANY! Big time character driven show.

9. White Collar

A white collar criminal agrees to help solve crime with the FBI agent who arrested him. Neal is so whumpable and it's one of the few times I've seen a fandom really embrace the idea of a poly relationship in fanon? Idk I wasn't really in it but the fics I saw all seemed to agree that no one would complain if Peter, Neal, and Elizabeth all lived happily ever after with their golden retriever. NOW, I will say this is a Jeff Eastin show and he has a tendency to take the amazing female characters in the show, throw them in a blender, and then bring them back as Frankenstein's monster bride and act like he didn't just ruin their character and it drives me fucking insane. BUT those first couple of seasons are fantastic.

Ask Me for TV Recs To Get You Through Hiatus

#anon #911 on abc #911 on fox #white collar #scorpion #murder she wrote #drop dead dive #castle #psych #numb3rs #er #sirens #tv show rec #wga solidarity #wga strong

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unlikelyjapan · 9 months

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s2e6 rewatch notes - part 2

OK, jumping back in from the point where Stevie says "Carm, this is a good thing."

Richie passing Tiff the Sprite (inside the bedroom that is totally just the walls of Donna's brain - the Carmela Soprano-esque mom tchotchke's mixed with predatory animal statues and black accents - maybe a bit too on the nose....) and saying "Carmy made this for you - he's a god damn pop machine, this guy. He's a weird little dude!"

Both Richie and Tiff mistake Carmy's kindness for weakness, just like everyone else from his past. It explains why Tiff would gravitate towards someone like Richie - she hates his brashness (see when she wanders into the kitchen scene after throwing up and he's just revving everyone up) but accepts it so long as it's countered with tenderness because that fits with her idea of masculinity and normalcy.

"We're trying to....um....you know, hook him up with Claire Bear -loosen him up a little bit."

Tiff - "With Claire? Why would you do that? She's so nice."

Nice people (shorthand for normal people) deserve archetypical masculine guys who can be romantic - not people who are neurodivergent and kind. Trauma doesn't factor into any of their considerations in setting people up, because they don't reckon with their own.

The subject changes to Richie and Tiff's relationship and future plans/housing - after just discussing how to "turn Carmy into a MAN man" we watch Richie quietly flounder because we know damn well The Beef won't afford the kind of life Tiff envisions for their new family. Tiff shares her dream about the all-green clothes for them/red for the baby (the baby breaking their mold/image) and they wonder aloud if they're going to be good parents and if Eva is going to like them.

It's true that they'll be better - they're present, they don't want to start from a bad place. But when we look at how they were razzing Carmy, it's indicative of the fact that they're not about to shed the baggage of their histories - they are playing roles that were established for them through their pasts, so they're doomed to failure after the glow of new family wares off and life gets in the way. It'll just look a little different, a little better.

Richie utters "I don't want to be at The Beef every day" to Cicero as Mikey is ranting about the Bill Murray story in the background. Richie was exhausted by the patterns in his life 5 whole years ago, and it wasn't just about providing for his family. It's so obvious that he fully regressed during the pandemic/things not working out in his new life the way he hoped. He also knew at that time that "I'm good with people, but I've never really had an outlet for that" and he never gets to prove what he intuits until "Forks" - by the grace of Carmy, no less.

*lights a candle for Natalie Berzatto* All of Natalie's abuse is so straight-forward and targeted. I'm glad they explored her character this season, but she's still too neatly-tied for the type of abuse she endured. Some of that is a celebration of her core female essence/strength, but I feel like some of the veneer still has to crack in future seasons - if they have her reeling from postpartum depression in S3 on top of her initial worries about Donna/motherhood, it's truly going to break my heart.

Taking a moment just to appreciate John Mulaney belittling the Faks, as it's the only scene where I found their presence enjoyable.

Carm grabbing the saltines and asking Mikey about them working together - Mikey saying The Beef is a nightmare is self-explanatory, but the fact that Carmy follows it up with "I don't want you talking to Claire if you don't give a fuck" and Mikey assuring him that he does, convinces Carmy that Mikey loves him through his meddling with Claire. Out of the two things Carmy has yearned for (at this stage in his life) since high school, Mikey only wants him to have one of those things - the one Mikey and co. decide will be good for him.

Mikey saying "I give, like, the biggest fuck" and Carmen looking pacified/accepting of that statement, means that his father brother is telling him that Claire is the most important thing for him to pursue in his life, and he's just asserting his love for his brother by trying to set him up with her. So much damn pressure....

Discussing The Bear drawing outside the pantry

"It's beautiful....",

"Yeah....we could do this"

"Yeah.....let it rip."

I'm pretty sure this is the last one-on-one conversation Mikey and Carmy ever had, matching the suicide note - this scene is a living goodbye, and John Berenthal plays it like he knows it. Expert-level shit, expert-level acting all around.

All hail Sarah Paulson's hot mess of a character (you can take the dysfunctional girl out of the midwest, but you can't take the midwest out of the dysfunctional girl), even if she was just around to narratively offer Carmy a flashing exit sign (knowing that he's talented and cognitively different from the rest of the lot) and dole out the story about how bears grieve.

I think one thing that Richie, the Fak's and other "related by friendship" hangers-on have in common is that they recognize that Mikey and Carmy's familial suffering has made them dynamic in ways that their own suffering has not. Both have their own unique gravitas that separates them from all the other men in their crummy suburban life - these other men are trying to absorb power by proxy.

"Can you just go and get Dad's gun out of my drawer and I think I'm just going to blow my fucking brains out and then you guys can make dinner because I don't think anyone would fucking miss me" - many thanks to @loudlightobservation for pointing out in the part one comments that Donna probably has untreated Borderline and Narcissistic PD. I initially thought this scene was over-the-top, but I burned an hour reading about how severe the reactions to perceived abandonment can be in these cases.

As per my comments about Natalie and her veneer, at least she can do things like ask Stevie "can you hug me?" and select men like Pete who will always be ready to do so. Unlike the boys, she learned how to identify needs and self-soothe early, probably because she was the most neglected of the three.

Didn't know where to put this: Cicero's relationship/flirtation with Donna when she's in the kitchen "do you know how fucking hot you are when you're slurring your words?", Lee's hatred of Cicero, and Lee trying to make inroads with Donna (again) through a work collaboration - the building in Wilmette likely being the property that Cicero mentioned having to offload. Carol (revealed to be Cicero's wife by name in s1e4) yelling at Lee as he enters for his first scene of the show. Again, I didn't know where to put these interconnected notes, but WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED. HERE.

Also, is Lee a former partner in The Beef (after he presumably replaced the Berzatto patriarch for a stay) and that's part of the resentment towards Mikey - along with sharing Donna for a time? Or is it something else? I've had a hard time piecing together these narratives beyond the obvious psychosexual connection to Donna.

Ugh, the all-hands crucifixion of St. Pete - I morphed from "who is this cuck?" in season 1 to wanting to storm onto the set and carry him out myself like a baby - not unlike how I felt the first time I saw Carmy slapping the donut out of Marcus' hands. Cringe but ultimately minor transgressions in a charged environment wind up being the greater sin than full-on emotional abuse with the Berzattos.

I'm finding there's less to dissect in the second half of the episode - everything is more overt. Cicero is generous. (re: shielding Richie). Natalie and Carmy are emotionally spent from their Donna-duty.

The whole final Donna/Carmy kitchen scene brings up a lot of existential questions I ask myself as a cook about food being a mechanism of control. I love to gather and cook for people - but I also know I'm an anxious person who needs to control the narrative, and sometimes I want people to be somewhat beholden to me through the care I extend to them through food and entertaining. In doing this, I sometimes feel pushy, and know there is always a level of avoidance in hosting/caring for people.

But with Donna, and through that conduit, Carmy - food IS control. Food IS enmeshment. Food IS the forcing function for unruly togetherness (through the restaurant and grand celebrations in the Italian tradition).

I hope that Carmy, through his collaboration with Syd, carves out a healthier narrative of what caring for people through cooking and service means. I don't think he hates cooking, as others have postulated - I think he hates the enmeshment, I think he hates himself for feeling he needs to control people through food. I think he hates feeling forced to do it, because he can't function that highly outside of it. The sooner he can extricate himself from his past, the sooner I think he'll love creating food and sharing it again.

The Lee and Mikey jousting bit is essential to the dinner unravelling, but while it's immaculately acted, it's not really interesting to me since it's such an overt conflict. Poking the bear, fighting to be the patriarchal figure of the house, blah blah blah. It makes for great visuals, but it doesn't reveal any new depth beyond "men=fucked."

And the "cousin, you're scaring the normals" comment - I see no evidence that anyone who would willingly wander into this abattoir fits that description. The best part of the scene is when Lee says "throw another fork at me and you're going to get fucking rocked" and then there's just the pregnant pause, immaculately shot, with the old clock ticking in the background.

Lee's "You're nothing. You're nothing. You're nothing" harkens back to "You're bad at this. You are bullshit. You should be dead" - all of the Berzatto men are capable of being ground to a pulp by other men they perceive to be authorities in some form or another, and I think we're only just beginning to see in this season how women factor into the equation (those in charge and those who are seemingly powerless) after a lifetime ruled by Donna.

Donna, who enters the scene, and everything defers to the power she holds over everyone with her tempestuous illness.

Ha, I missed the line in Stevie's grace where he says "We're healthy, I think? No ones si....no ones physically very sick."

"Natalie Rose Berzatto...." God. If I had turned off subtitles, JLC's delivery in this scene would make anyone hear "Do you know how much I fucking hate you" - because that's what she meant. And God bless Michelle.

It seems like, the moment Carmy looks at the car and the cannoli, it's finally cemented in his mind that Mikey and Donna are intrinsically the same person (but the selective trauma memories he maintains after Mikey's death wipe out the bad, hence his surprise about him using etc). Ending with Natalie's A+ horror film face and the lyrics "Could you ever know how much I care?" was absolutely the right editorial tone to end the episode.

I'm going to be honest....I thought I'd find a lot more in this hour than I actually did.

I'm really looking forward to Bolognese onwards, mostly because I really miss Syd now - the show without her energy (mostly because Natalie still has inadequate development, through no fault of her own) is just male trauma from a male perspective....

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto #syd x carmy #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich #claire the bear #mikey berzatto #donna berzatto #the bear s2 #carmy berzatto

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ghosts-cyphera · 3 months

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I don’t want to scare you, I really don’t. But listen to me: in terms of going to a psychiatric ward, Lo, are you absolutely sure this is what you want?

I speak as a survivor of the psych ward myself. I was twelve when they put me unsupervised in a room with violent individuals twice my age. They fed us rotting food. The orderlies didn’t even try to help us, or keep the violent patients from hurting themselves or others. I was lucky- I spent two weeks in outpatient, not a lot of time all things considered, but it was such a horrifying, traumatic experience that I still have nightmares about it to this day. There are whole days I can’t recall from that time because I repressed so much of it.

I know not all mental hospitals are like this, but I’m far from the only one with a horror story. These places are not meant to help people. I have spoken to many people both online and in person whose experiences were just as bad if not worse than my own. I don’t want you or anyone else to suffer like I did.

I don’t mean to be out of line, I don’t. But I care for you Lo, not just as an author I enjoy but as a fellow neurodivergent and a writer, I want you to be safe and happy. You deserve safety and happiness. And those things are seldom found in the psych ward. I just want you to be aware of the risks you may be taking. The last thing I want is for a place of healing to turn into a place of suffering for you.

Please, Lo, consider this even if you delete this message (which you absolutely can, no hard feelings whatsoever). Seeing you on my dash makes me smile and the fandom would be a little bit colder without you. But as a survivor of a psych ward, I need to impart my experiences so that others can protect themselves where I was unable to. I don’t usually speak about my trauma regarding the ward on Tumblr, this is a first. But I wouldn’t be able to live in good conscience knowing I had the opportunity to warn you and didn’t take it. Take care of yourself, please. You deserve all the light and softness in the world and more.

Oh my goodness, my darling!

I’m so, so incredibly sorry about what happened to you. This breaks my heart, and I’d give anything it takes to heal your trauma if only it worked that way. You did not deserve any of this, and the fact that you were only 12 too is sickening. I’m so, so sorry.

But to ease your anxiety, I’m not going to a psych ward, sweetheart! 💗 I have a referral to a psychiatric hospital but once I finally get in, I’ll be in outpatient care. I’ll still be living at home, but I’ll be monitored, likely given medication, and I’ll be seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist to help me with my depression.

I hit a point a couple of weeks ago where I momentarily had to consider if admitting myself to a hospital/psych ward was what I needed to do to keep myself alive, but after watching every tiktok video about psych wards I could find, I promised myself to not admit myself whatever it took. Maybe some places are better than others, but the stories I’ve heard are heartbreaking. Yours, for example.

Again, I’m so, so sorry for what you had to go through. You did not deserve any of it. I’m also sorry for giving you a scare tonight. Thank you for caring so incredibly much about me and for looking out for me. I’ll never forget this. 💗 )-:

#lo answers #my heart is hurting so bad for you #I hope you’re doing better nowadays #you deserve so much more than what they put you through #cw depression #cw psych wards #cw suicide #suicide #depression #psych ward

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hot-take-tournament · 3 months

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Omg the reblog person is so real for that. I understand that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm so liking doesn't functionally do anything but I get extremely anxious about reblogging so the guilt trips are really awful for me (and I assume it's the same for others with similar issues.)

Uh- bit of a tangent/rant below. For context I'm an "Audhd-er" (I think that's the term people use, it means I'm autistic and I have ADHD)

I understand most of the time they are over-exaggerating their feelings on the matter. In posts about reblogging stuff from writers and artists it's always kind of a "LIKES DO NOTHING SHOW YOUR LOVE WITH REBLOGS LIKES MEAN NOTHING"

I've always found that a bit odd. As someone with two mutuals (one of whom is rarely online) and 1 normal follower my reblogs really aren't gonna do much so I mostly reblog stuff my mutuals might like and occasionally make my own posts. (Keeping everything else private for the most part) When I get a like it always brings a warm fuzzy feeling because it means someone enjoyed my reblog or post enough to share with me that they liked it.

I've only had one post that breached containment and it was a fun weekend of checking out the blogs of people who liked it! All in all I think maybe people are just unaware of the anxieties that come with being online and the people who experience those anxieties are too anxious to really speak up about it. I mean look at me I'm chilling behind an anon mask rn (I rarely send an off anon ask lol.)

For a website dubbed by its users as the neurodivergent website, some people forget to consider that learning and working within the culture of a social media platform can be extremely stressful for many types of people, let alone an autistic person such as myself (the ADHD doesn't help either). Some of us would prefer to lurk in our private blogs, only coming out of our comfort zone when we feel ok to do so.

All in all, a reminder to reblog is perfectly fine, but please refrain from the guilt-tripping and social obligation type of thing— or at least be aware of it and try not to be offended if one of your mutuals struggles to reblog.

Now this is all my personal perspective, other people will likely have completely different experiences but I wanted to share in case people were confused on why it's an issue for some people. Thanks for reading this whole thing and I hope you have a lovely day <3

I think I get what you're saying -

For a lot of people it genuinely takes a surprising amount of guts to put themselves out there on the internet in any way, even if it's anonymously, and that includes things as simple as reblogging a post.

It's not just Tumblr either. You also see it on Reddit and Twitter, and in online games where people just want to keep to themselves and not interact with strangers. Some people just want to lurk, maybe liking or upvoting, but not commenting or reblogging, because that feels like making yourself more "visible" somehow, in a way simply liking posts doesn't.

It's difficult to put into words, but I feel it's kind of like being in a university lecture with 50+ strangers. Liking is sitting in the back quietly taking notes. Reblogging is like putting your hand up and giving an opinion when the professor asks for one.

It's true that only reblogging actually contributes anything functionally, but there are plenty of people, especially neurodivergent people, who might struggle with that kind of thing, but still want to show some appreciation, or just save it as a bookmark.

So, I think that's partly why that kind of guilt-tripping or threatening reblog bait can be so stressful. Tumblr is a comfort app for a lot of people, who just want to curate their own little private space. Reblog baits are like someone banging on your door, telling you that you're actively doing something wrong by keeping to yourself, and (in the case of "I'll block/unfollow you if you like/read but don't reblog" baits) people will hate you for doing it.

It also implicitly takes away the sense of control you have over your own personal online space. Ideally, you should be able to do whatever you want with your own blog - no one should dictate your own online experience. So, if you just want to reblog things you like or want to share, at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

But reblog baits seem to suggest that you shouldn't have that control, and there are certain things that you have no choice but to put on your blog, and it has to be right now. And I feel that sense of having control suddenly snatched away from you without warning could also be a major source of anxiety for a lot of people who see Tumblr as a source of comfort.

With all that in mind, while I do believe that it's not quite this simple, considering artists and writers, and especially those who rely on commissions, do need exposure from reblogs, I also feel it's difficult to blame people for finding very aggressive reblog baits stressful, especially when you're suddenly blindsided with them.

At least, those are just my initial thoughts based on what you said, but absolutely let me know if you disagree with any of this or feel I misrepresented what you meant <3

#asks #not a poll #hot take reblog bait

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lilysaus · 10 months

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okay. this fucking picture made me so mad i went on a 15 minute rant to my sister while she was trying to read her book.

so ive been looking at a lot of pictures of posts on pinterest because thats just where i spend most of my time. most of these posts are on the topic of adhd. ive never been properly diagnosed, but reading through these posts has made me feel so welcomed and understood (more than my parents have made me feel, pretending that this is "all just a phase that ill get over soon because pretending to have adhd is just the thing right now") that i realized ON MY OWN that "hey maybe i do have adhd." well.

i found this post while scrolling through pinterest, and it really sparked my anger.

i have a friend who was diagnosed with add before it was considered an "outdated" term and scrapped because apparently ALL FUCKING FORMS OF NEURODIVERGENCY THAT ARENT AUTISM ARE JUST "ADHD".

i read this post and it was what sparked my anger and my 15 minute rant to my sister. people who get degrees in this stuff, or counselors at schools, never really know what youre going through. all they know is that youre having some problems and they need to be solved.

which brings me back to this picture. if you look up "is add still a thing" on google, this is the first picture to pop up. and just seeing the visual aids they put with it makes me furious enough to throw something or someone out a fifth story window. the little girl is fucking SMILING while thinking about the most common shit people think us neurodivergent folks think when distracted. first off, no. false. we dont just think of video games and candy. we think of the randomest shit possible, like how long can i sit here without blinking or what kind of funny shit can i draw on this one sheet of paper.

and ALSO.

you cant just categorize adhd as TWO SEPARATE THINGS and call it good. we dont fit under two umbrellas. theres too many of us. we each have our own figurative umbrellas that only we ourselves can fit under, no one else. thats the problem with neurotypicals. they fit the typical stereotype for humans: we try to understand everything by putting it in a box. those lists of "symptoms"? i match every single one. on both sides. so ha. take that SCIENTISTS. what am i? some kind of freak of nature because i dont fit under just ONE of your precious categories?

i also looked up what "inattentive" means and it made me angrier. according to oxford languages, "inattentive" means "not paying attention to something", which doesnt seem too bad, right? it fits some people perfectly with their symptoms, right? but its not the definition that bugs me. its the example sentence thats used. "a particularly dull and inattentive student". basically saying that if you dont pay attention well to something, youre dull and boring.

im sorry, what? sometimes i have trouble paying attention, sure, but you ask any of my friends and they can agree i am NOT boring in any way, shape, or form. non of them would describe me as "dull". inattentive? sure, but not dull. so to call it "inattentive" adhd, instead of just add, is stupid! my friend with ADD (not fucking adhd, stupid scientists) is one of the funniest, most entertaining people ive ever met. shes an incredible artist, super smart, and knows how to make anyone laugh. does that sound dull to you? does she have problems focusing sometimes? yes. does she struggle with doing something sometimes? yes. but dont the rest of us?

my point is, when i see things like this, it pisses me off. like, unless all of the scientists who agreed "add" is an outdated term have it themselves, i refuse to believe its outdated and i will continue to say that my friend has it. she was literally diagnosed by the doctor telling her "you have attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder without the hyperactivity." THATS JUST FUCKING ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER YOU DUMBASS!!!

anyway, i hope im not the only one who feels this way. i just felt it necessary to get this out there. maybe someday, people wont be so dumb and single minded. in my opinion, neurodivergent people are superior in intellect and creativity, but i guess until someone like that takes over the world and dropkicks neurotypicals into the stratosphere, we'll never know.

#adhd stuff #undiagnosed adhd #living with adhd #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #add #its called add not adhd #you dumbasses #scientists are stupid sometimes #make that all the time

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kaonarvna · 5 months

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I finally did it: I found the spoons to make an actionable (and semi-gameified) visual representation of spoon theory that I can actually use.

I've been thinking about doing this for months, and I've posted about it once or twice.

But, I finally did it, I made these bad boys for myself:

I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Which is to say, my body is very poorly held together, in a lot of pain, easily exhausted, and easily injured. I'm at the point now where I've had every intervention under the sun, nearly a decade of physio, we've found the best pharmacological interventions for me, and...we just have to get by. It's hard, it is, but it's the only mode of existing I know.

Maybe it's because I'm an aphantasiac, maybe it's because I'm (more than) a bit neurodivergent, but spoon theory has always been a little too abstract for me. I grew up on JRPGs (cough final fantasy has me in a choke hold), so putting things into just...stat bars and a table of effects, items, etc is more accessible to my fatigued, pained little brain. This is familiar. This makes sense to me.

Who needs an arbitrary amount of spoons, when you can have 200 HP & MP?

There's twenty notches in between the bars, so I can more accurately knock off health/mp as it ticks down. I teach in a primary school (children who only come up to my hip, mostly!), so you bet I've printed and laminated these, and have them slapped up somewhere I can easily see and access with velcro. If I can't see it? It doesn't exist. I can easily use a dry erase marker to take off my health/mp as I self-evaluate through the day, and start fresh the next.

「 As of this post going live, I've been using this for about a week! The MP drain seems accurate to life give or take, and the HP bar has been a good representation of just...the state of mess I'm in. There are injuries and "real life debuffs" that aren't on the list, but -20HP/-20MP has been a safe bet for those. The A4 is for at home, and one of the A5s follows me to work/out and about in my BUJO! 」

And it's not perfect, of course it's not! I'll probably tweak my board in a month or two. But, maybe just having a list of the things I can do to help myself right in front of me will help. Maybe, being able to show it to my spouse will help them help me better. It's worth a try. Bullet journalling and visual timetables are lifesavers, but they can only communicate so much at once.

I've made a blank version, in the event anyone wants to download it and fill it in for themselves.

This link should let you access a view-only version in canva. I'd imagine you should be able to make a copy and do it yourself! If not, don't hesitate to let me know and I'll try to find a workaround.

Hopefully this might help one or two busy-brained people like me manage their energy and pace their bodies a little bit better. Or, at the very least, give them a starting point for making their own resources.

#disability #actually disabled #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #hypermobile ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos syndrome #ehlers danlos zebra #Eds #Heds #spoonie #spoon theory #not enough spoons #neurodivergent #disability resources

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imaginarylungfish · 2 months

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AUDHD 👏 GOJO 👏

I’m right there with you so, in true AuDHD style, I’m zooming into your inbox to infodump because I’m ALWAYS desperate to scream about this (shout out to @ellionwrites for patiently and compassionately listening to my unpolished rambles about a lot of this stuff in private)!

I actually have a LOT of thoughts about 236 and how it’s Gojo’s “unmasking”. That chapter is really emotional for me because of how well it articulates my personal experience of navigating the world as an autistic person. This post (and especially its tags) from right after it came out says it in a much more concise way, but Gojo’s upset pout breaks my heart because, to me, that's evidence of “no matter how much you try, people will misunderstand you” and damn… that hits a little close to home 🥲

It’s why his death had such a strong impact on me, especially when it felt like half the internet was ignoring the actual words Gojo said to claim “he never cared about that stuff, he was arrogant from the start and you just misread him". In combination with “it was the best ending for a character like Gojo" — right after we find out how deeply lonely he’s been, never able to truly connect with anyone after Geto left? Well, it was mindblowingly meta and, therefore, pretty painful to read.

I wrote an analysis of Gojo’s character in 236 and, even though I wasn’t viewing him through an autistic lens for that particular post, I think my words under the cut still read that way — that’s how baked into his character I think this stuff is! I genuinely think the two pairs of sorcerers sitting with their backs to each other is a visual representation of the double empathy problem. I'm not sure autistic and allistic people can ever arrive at a place where we fully understand each other, but that doesn’t mean autistic people have to carry all the burden and remain isolated. That’s why it’s meaningful that Gege makes it clear that all the characters care about each other, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye.

Glad to see you shouting about this reading of his character, because I haven’t seen many people talking about it. Some people are very hostile to ND headcanons, especially for characters as popular as Gojo, which is why I haven’t really talked about it much myself. However, I feel like any fellow AuDHDers who read my fic must be side-eying me constantly because I don’t think I’m subtle about how I write Gojo’s character at ALL 🤪

Maybe it’s time to be brave and publicly share my 236 AuDHD!Gojo manifesto for the five of us who are standing in a circle screaming about this! Cheering you on and sending lots of love ♥️

Ahhhhh thank you so much for this infodump!!!! I was on a AuDHD!Gojo rampage last night as my brain worm hit right as I should have been going to sleep. But such are things....

Like idk why it didn't truly hit me until now, but I can't unseen Gojo as AuDHD. (It was probably because I re-watched "Everything's Gonna be Okay" with some AuDHD representation and then I started thinking of other AuDHD characters and immediately thought of Gojo.) I did play with the idea a few months back, but it hit me with full force yesterday.

Idk like I get a little annoyed with people who think I or others like Gojo just because "he's hot" because like okay fine yes (but also I think I just have gender envy but that's a whole other can of worms). But also, no no no that's not it! My love for Gojo is more than that! He speaks to me as a character. He's misunderstood. He's seen as something he isn't. In my eyes, he's neurodivergent (and queer). And Geto was the only other person who ever saw him for who he really was.

Gojo's death was really hard on me. I remember exactly where I was when I read that chapter. And then the airport. Fuck. EmOtIOns. At first, I tried understanding Nanami's words. I really did. But really, I just didn't if I'm honest. Those words were a shock to me. Like yeah okay he's selfish (but like aren't all humans?). He also helps though! Isn't that obvious? And at the end? He wanted to have an equal to go all out with in a fight. Again, why was that bad? He was also helping! What's the issue? He's a fallible human. Like you said in your analysis, he contains multitudes. What's wrong with that?

So, like many others, I thought maybe I misread Gojo. But no. Now I think the missing piece was that Gojo is AuDHD and Nanami didn't quite get that. He didn't understand Gojo's actions. (And ahh god that lil pout. Gojo was just living his life and people saw him but they never ~saw~ him.)

I think the visual of the sorcerers back-to-back is a great metaphor for the double empathy problem. I never saw it that way, but I see it now and like it! And I think you're so right with the fact that the characters still respect and support each other even if they don't understand each other fully. I think that's a theme woven throughout the story.

Blahhh I feel like there is so much textual support for AuDHD Gojo. Like him being blindsided by Geto's defection because he didn't see Geto's decline (and don't get me started about Autistic!Geto with his strict black-and-white thinking), him just blabbing about sweets when he meets up with Megumi before fighting one-finger Sukuna at the beginning, the fact he thought revealing Yuuji to his classmates at the exchange event would be funny (cause hey, I thought it would too until it happened and I saw oh hey, it wasn't), etc. Plus, his blindfold. His overall personality. Like, it's such a heavy mask. Now I see that.

I feel like people either love Gojo or they hate him. (I immediately gobbled up your analysis and 100% agree. And I think people's reactions to his death are pretty telling.)

So, thank you for the yummy AuDHD!Gojo content. Please feel free to send me more/link me to things. I feel like I have a million more things to say but my brain is jumping all over the place and I've already spent 40 minutes this morning on this when I should have been getting ready for work. Hehe, whoops.

Gojo is AuDHD. I will die on this hill. Let's keep staring and screaming at each other about this. Sending you good vibes and love as well 🤍

#gojo headcanons #audhd gojo #neurodivergent gojo #autistic gojo #adhd gojo

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melodramaschild · 1 year

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Hi! I’m not sure if you’re taking requests but if you aren’t that’s totally okay. I wanted to request a Remus Lupin x reader proposal blurb or oneshot? Based on this video I saw:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoVf3z8pE8Q/?igshid=NTdlMDg3MTY=

It’s just so cute and I imagined Remus. Love your works and account ❤️

Hi there darling! I’m not exactly taking requests now, those two little one shots just alternde the chemistry in my brain and they weren’t supposed to be even that long too. Thank you for your love <3

Remus Lupin x clumsy (probably neurodivergent) girl reader

But I don’t think that Remus would exactly be like that. He’s a shy man for a reason.

He would propose to you when it’s just the two of you. Away from people so you don’t feel pressured to say yes. To give you time to answer.

Maybe it would be on a walk in the woods. Which is nothing new. He loves taking you to woods when you get your zoomies. Running away from him to pick a random stick for Padfoot later. Pick a random flower and putting it behind his ear.

“Lean over, you’re like an Aphel tower,” you say as you grasp on his jumper, pulling him closer and down to yourself. He chuckles, “Eiffel tower, darling.” he melts under your clumsy touch when you want to put a little flower behind his ear. Your tongue unknowingly peaks out as you concentrate to place it just right.

You know that Remus looks a bit nervous, you can feel it in your bones even when his faces looks the same. But almost, the corners of his lips are twitching into a smile and something you think it’s a nervous smirk way too often.

You don’t question it, if he wants to talk to you, he will. You know it. Remus is like its own ecosystem exists on its own. If he would be and style he would be dadaism and maybe something bit of eco brutalism. Growing where people ruined it.

But his odd mood isn’t stopping you from trying to make him feel better. You run away from the forest path, trying to find one his favourite wild flowers. You find them, you always do. With a little trip over sticks and little “Ows.” and little “Are you alright, darling?” You find the perfect flowers for him.

Remus is nervous. Way more nervous than on his first school day, on his graduation day, on his first job interview.

Suddenly Remus is behind you. You feel his presence and you also hear him. You’re crouching down to pick up more wild flowers while you ramble some another fact you learned about his favourite flowers and then you get into random facts, as you always do.

“And in the Czechia they use nettle’s poison to makes oil for their hair. It’s not exactly a poison to human, it stings your skin,” you are turning around to face him, still crouching down. “…a lot and it leaves you with a very nasty rash but it’s not going to kill you…” you stop talking.

You’re met with a Remus kneeling on his knee, a homemade ring holder on his open large palm. He is nervously smiling, his rosy cheeks are flushed and his eyes are glassy, he’s carefully eyeing you.

Your mouth is ajar, for the first time in your life your brain stops. There are no other thoughts, no background noises that aren’t making sense. You feel the cold wind on your ears, you can feel it and not getting distracted by it. You hear the countless of birds singing their symphony just for the two of you.

You see Remus as he truly is. It’s like you can experience Remus with all of your senses and not getting distracted by anything.

You feel a bit odd with this no feeling thing and you start crying, little sweet tears are falling down on your cheeks that are harshly kissed by the cold wind.

“Remus,” you breathe out. You feel like everything what’s happening is clicking in your brain, only in one part and it doesn’t want to be understood in the other part of your brain.

“Y/n,” he nods. “I… I’ve been thinking,” he is lost in his words. “And I realised that I want to do this.” You look like a deer caught in the lights and he’s actually glad that you’re crouching down too. He feels more closer to you.

Your palms are sweaty and you hold tightly on the flowers for him. “Y/n, you’re the girl I want to marry… I want to spend the rest of all of my sunsets with you… marry me please, Y/n.” He can’t help it but he doesn’t ask. It’s a passion of his, you’re his passion. And of course he knows how to live without you, it’s a human nature to adapt to changes. But he doesn’t want to.

“I love you, and that’s all I really know, and I want you to be mine. We don’t even have to marry for real and bring government into our love, but I…” his hand is shaking a bit. “But I want this with you. I want us to wear our rings and I want you to be mine and I want to be yours and if this is something you don’t want…”

“Fuck yes!” Your brain is suddenly all alive again and in the next second you’re all over Remus. Remus falls with a soft thud into the moss behind him and with you all over him. Your hands are around his neck and you hold him tightly in your embrace.

You can’t let him go and you don’t want to let him go. You’re bawling your eyes out and your tears are drenching his neck. Your kisses are all over his cheeks, forehead, chin, eye lids and nose. You want to kiss him all over.

He wants to wake up everyday by your side. With you in his arms, in your arms, on your chest, with your head on his chest. He wants to feel your soft skin beneath his fingers and he wants your hair in his face. He wants to receive kisses from your chapped and dry lips. He wants to taste your kisses that taste terrible because of the chemistry in your new lipstick. He wants to taste your lipstick that taste like vanilla or strawberry or some medicine from your lip balm.

You want to be his, you want to wear his ring. You want him to be yours and you want him to wear your ring.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #robies dialogues #headcanon of the day #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x you fluff #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x y/n fluff

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inquebrar · 3 months

Text

i wanted to talk about a lot of things that happened today because of the return of qsmp and the changes for QSMP 2024 but as having so many thoughts and things to talk about when a lot of things happen gives me an overwhelming feeling, i would like to say some things to people specifically who's main pov are Roier and Cellbit, and being part of the spiderbit/guapoduo community because now the situation is not the best, right? and i know that often people who struggles with anxiety, people who deal with hyperfixations, people who are neurodivergent or for those who simply get very immersed in fictional stories easly and have a lot of emotional charge deposited on it, you are not alone and don't blame yourself or feel bad about it, ok?

initially i was so genuinely happy, that for a few minutes my brain didn't even remind me that there was angst going on, no jokes i think i just actually deleted everything and forgot that, that wasn't q!Roier, but then there was a moment that i can't explain very well when or how it was but something about the way he interacted with q!Cellbit reminded me. and i automatically felt the pain of it all again. i felt an immense sadness that lingered until the end of the day (and i'm still feeling it)... realizing that no matter what happens, EVERY interaction they have is not > them < it's not the couple that gave me so much comfort, it's not the husbands who have such beautiful affection for each other, that have a tenderness so endearing to see. and that leaves me sad every time i think about it and now i can't forget it, on the contrary, i can't stop thinking about it because the uncertainty of "what will happen tomorrow? for how long this gonna last? how will this be resolved?" is draining me. and it was more than two months going through a lot of angst based on a lot of sentimental weight which focused a lot on the personal issues that both characters have, mainly revolving around how bad both of their mental health are and a lot of times this can be very heavy and intense to watch.

so after months of waiting to finally have good times and peace of mind, it's not over yet. and personally it hurts me so much the fact that it's not q!Roier that is living this new beginning together with q!Cellbit, it hurts me because every time i remember that q!Roier is still suffering in the federation and q!Cellbit is still not well mentally and the things he's hearing from the love of his life are contributing to his low self-esteem, it hurts me a lot that with every word exchanged, with every look, it's not the same thing because it's not them. q!Cellbit having to hear it coming from "q!Roier" that he didn't felt so sad and didn't missed him that much and believing that maybe staying away was really a good thing to do... that broke me. but on a positive note, what i have to say is that i congratulate the roleplay of both CC's because i was able to feel the impact that q!Cellbit felt when hearing those things being said and i can no longer look at q!Roier without feeling immense anger, hatred and disgust because that's q!Doied trying to manipulate. still, sometimes it's very tiring to deal with all this for so long, so i would just like to remind everyone to step back a little, stop for a moment to breathe, drink water, try to listen to music or do something that makes you feel better and take care of yourself in any way possible!

this is not a critical post nor is it neg, it's just something i felt like talking about because i saw that dealing with this angst lore has being very difficult for many people and even more after today since so much happpened so many things changed and if this affects you is not something to feel ashamed of or anything like that! we are together and please take care of yourselves ❤️

#qsmp #i wanted to talk more about this but i need to rest maybe i'll make more posts like this idk #but take care everyone!#spiderbit #guapoduo #qsmp roier #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #q!roier

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glacierruler · 1 month

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Sides and Neurodivergency results!

This, this is gonna be a long post!

Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nebulous-astronaut @pandagobrr @awitchbravestheverge

First I'm gonna look at all the general responses, and then screenshot some of the replies/extra info that was given in these!

Everyone who responded was really nice, so I'm definitely down to do these again, just maybe not for a little bit! Gonna do a read more, and put everything below that!

First, the overarching responses to the questions!

Every person who responded to it said Yes, they think it's okay to write the sides as neurodivergent. One person went on to say:

Which is a fair assumption of what I'm trying to ask, considering the phrasing of the question. However, I do want to clear up, that I asked this question to know your opinions on it, not to ascribe morality to it. I get that the wording is kind of confusing, but I'm unsure of how else to word it.

Next question is this one. I'm asking if they make the sides neurodivergent, which neurodivergencies does the individual give them? There was an other option for any that I didn't list.

As you can see there is a long list, a good chunk of the answers were put in by the people who responded by filling out the other answer box. Here's the ones that were cut off:

To the first one, yeah, that's completely fair. I'm also hesitant to delve into neurodivergencies if I don't feel like I've done enough research or have personal experience with it(and even with personal experience I get scared to do it still).

To the second one, thank you so much for this long list! I didn't know a good chunk of these existed, and this will be so helpful in any future polls about this subject that I do! /gen

The next two questions were optional, and I'll be sharing my favorite answers. The first one:

Why do you/don't you make the sides neurodivergent? And why that/those specific neurodivergency(ies) if you do?

I'll be putting the Image ID here, because some of these screenshots are too small for me to put it in the alt text.

Image ID: 5 screenshots of 5 different replies to the answer above. Screenshot 1 says: I make the Sides neurodivergent because it's mostly me projecting as a neurodivergent person. This includes me leaving things implied as I slowly figure myself out.

Screenshot 2 says: I don't usually focus on that part of the story, it might be implied, but not explicitly said. despite being a neurodivergent myself. Idk I guess I'm just more interested in fun fantasy world than real world problems that kinda stress me out. But I would totally read a fic that focuses on any sort of neurodivergencies!

Screenshot 3 says: I like to because i tend to project my own neurodivergencies onto them, and i use my fic writing as a way to cope with my own internal issues sometimes. Expressing them with problems similar or reminiscent of my own, even if not explicitly so, allows me to figure out and work through my own issues. I have diagnosed ADHD and self diagnosed ASD and C-PTSD, so i find myself able to write about my own experiences through them.

Screenshot 4 says: When I write them this way, it's for the same reason I write them with a handful of physical disabilities. I want to explore the sides struggling with things I struggle with in my life. Because it's cathartic for me and also it falls under the "write what you know" adage. I also find it comforting or cathartic to read about the sides struggling with these or similar things. I think it's important for people without any neurodivergencies to do a lot of research before writing fanfic (or original fiction) with neurodivergent characters. I would do the same for a neurodivergency that I didn't personally have. But people everywhere *are* neurodivergent, there's no good reason *not* to explore these topics in fanfic.

Screenshot 5 says: If it's all the sides with the same diagnosis, that's another thing entirely. Part of it being that it's applying a diagnosis onto a, albeit fictional, version of a real person. I understand that the *Character* Thomas is different from *Real* Thomas, but it still feels weird and icky to do so to me. I won't judge anyone who does so, because that's a me thing rather than a problem thing, but it's just not for me to diagnose someone via fanfiction.

End Image ID

All of these are fair, personal reasons as to why they make the sides neurodivergent or they don't make the sides neurodivergent. (I did not ask if they did or didn't, which was an error on my part imho).

I will say, that in fandom and fanfiction, giving characters neurodivergencies is not the same thing as armchair diagnosing a real person with a neurodivergency, but I totally get how it can feel similar to that. I think for most people, the reason they give the sides neurodivergencies is to feel more connected to these characters that they know and love, or even to explore the characters more.

As for not exploring neurodivergencies in fanfic, there might not be a good reason for it, but there are definitely valid reasons for it. Honestly, even though I hc Remus and Patton as being bipolar(like me), I'm always hesitant to write about it. Mainly because of my own internal anxiety of what if I get this wrong, what if this isn't true for everyone, what if etc... So I completely understand people being hesitant to write the sides as neurodivergent even when they have said neurodivergencies. It's not necessarily a fear that will go away with time, it just becomes easier to overcome some days(at least for me). And to anyone who is unsure about something when attempting to start writing neurodivergencies in fanfic, research and ask questions. There will be those who are willing to answer.

I asked if there were any comments or questions for me, and I'll share these two answers!

Image ID: 2 screenshots, the first one reads: I would love another form like this but specifically for what neurodivergencies people give each side, I’d love to see the data on that

The second one reads: you can do anything you want with characters, they aren’t real, and it isn’t unethical to portray them how you want! in the same way people draw the sides to look physically different from irl thomas, people are going to headcanon their internal lives differently too

End Image ID.

To the first person! That's such a great idea, and I'd love to do it when I have the time/energy for it, maybe sometime this summer?

To everyone who took the time to respond, thank you so much! Your answers have been very insightful, and it was really enjoyable doing this! I hope you all have a wonderful day!

#glacier rambles #sanders sides #thomas sanders sides

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bethanydelleman · 1 year

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Jane Austen Characters and Neurodiversity

Jane Austen wrote characters who feel so real and interesting that scholars have been arguing about them almost since they were written. People identify with many aspects of characters that probably weren’t intended by the author, including reading Emma Woodhouse and Charlotte Lucas (among others) as queer. Headcanons are great and if you see yourself, as a neurodiverse person, in an Austen character, that is awesome. This post is only my opinion and I’m not an expert. It is also impossible to make a diagnosis based on a 200 year old book.

The main reason I don't attribute the behaviour of Jane Austen's characters to anything clinical is because I think Jane Austen was trying to show how wealth and the single-minded pursuit of wealth can twist people. Darcy is in the top 1% (or even the top 1% of the 1%) and even today, those sort of people don't come off as normal even if they are neurotypical. I think most of the characters' behaviour can be accounted for by 1. being extremely wealthy/powerful meaning they are unchallenged in a way that magnifies their faults, 2. the fact that most of these people don’t have jobs and are therefore idle and under-stimulated (even a lot of the ones who have “jobs”), 3. attention seeking behaviour and 4. being surrounded by fawning Yes Men.

There is also the complicated discussion of maybe neurodiversity would explain some behaviour but it does not excuse.

There are only two Austen characters that strike me as having some sort of possible psychiatric illness or neurodivergence: Mr. Woodhouse (Emma) and Anne Steele (Sense and Sensibility).

Anne Steele is the only character who is actually incapable of following social rules. She is about thirty years old, and yet twice in the novel she is kept from making a huge breach of decorum by her younger sister. She is obsessed with Marianne’s clothes/appearance, to the point of asking what the fabric and washing costs. Importantly, Anne is not wealthy or powerful enough to ignore social rules. She is trying to court favour most of the time and yet cannot manage it without Lucy’s help. Also, she is distressed that Lucy will no longer trim her bonnets, which suggests she is incapable of doing it herself. I’m not sure how difficult it is to change ribbons in a bonnet, but it stood out to me as a little odd.

The other is Mr. Woodhouse. He is tricky for me. We are told he’s basically been like this all his life, so it’s not a case of dementia (though that could be making him worse).

The evil of the actual disparity in their ages (and Mr. Woodhouse had not married early) was much increased by his constitution and habits; for having been a valetudinarian all his life, without activity of mind or body, he was a much older man in ways than in years; and though everywhere beloved for the friendliness of his heart and his amiable temper, his talents could not have recommended him at any time. (Ch 1)

Also, his health anxiety can’t only be a manifestation of grief from losing his wife, because again, we are told he’s always been this way and he married late in life. One of the interesting things is that he’s not just worried about his health, he is incapable of imagining that other people are unlike him in their health or even thoughts. That is a failure of theory of mind, a major developmental milestone.

He could have some form of anxiety, probably comorbid with something that accounts for his inability to understand others, but then again, he’s a very rich man that no one ever disagrees with... which makes me think there is a chance he’s just a health conspiracy theorist who’s gone off the deep end. This would fit better into Jane Austen’s overall thesis that wealth screws people up too. (Note: Isabella is very similar to her father. Anxiety disorders can run in families but she does seem to tolerate being challenged better than her father.)

Lastly, despite being so concerned about his health, Mr. Woodhouse is never actually ill during the novel, while other characters do have recorded illnesses. Isabella, who shares her father’s fears, has born five healthy children. So whatever is wrong doesn’t seem to effect them physically very much.

Another Note: I have heard an argument for Fanny Price having ASD based on her inability to stand the noise or eat the food at her home in Portsmouth. I found this compelling, but I think we are meant to understand that the noise is overwhelming and everyone else is just used to it.

Last Note: To reiterate, I am not arguing that anyone’s headcanon is wrong. A headcanon is meant to be something that can’t be proved or disproved by the book. I just personally don’t see enough evidence in the text for most other characters to fit a psychological diagnosis or neurodivergence, especially Darcy. Being the coddled child of overindulgent parents who told him the planet revolved around him because he was so rich and important seems like a pretty good explanation for his behaviour to me! (and is what he says in the book).

#neurodiversity in austen #jane austen #this is how I read Austen #I think she was describing the human condition under wealth #I think we sometimes forget that these are all pampered trust-fund kids #and people wishing they were trust-fund kids #many of the men are absurdly wealthy

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whysojiminimnida · 2 years

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Maknae Line Sipping Things, Pt. 1

Maybe it's tea but more likely it's gonna hit and make us dizzy, knowing these guys. Because it's always something with them, isn't it?

WAIT BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER PLEASE TO READ THE DISCLAIMER

ARMY is many things to "our boys" - who, by the way, have not been "boys" for nearly a decade, now. Can we just normalize letting grown ass men be, IDK, GROWN ASS MEN?

They DO LOVE US. More than we realize. We are their validation. We are their audience, their personal search engine, their friends in a weird kind of two-sided parasocial relationship (which I guess makes it nearly a social relationship). But we are also their paychecks.

BTS is at a point where none of them need to work. Ever. They could fuck off to Bora Borahae (don't get me started) and spend lavishly for the rest of their days and still leave an enormous inheritance to their pets. They're fine, financially, in a way that most of us will never be. It's a heady experience, I'm told, having fuck-you money, and they have that. And yet they continue to work.

They continue to move their lives within a very tight, very enclosed but entirely too visible bubble. They always will, because their level of fame is that, now. Their lives don't really belong to them - they belong to us. Which is a heavy and often uncomfortable reality for them. So that's my angle going into the whole What The Fuck Is Up With The Maknae Line thing. They are in an unhealthy relationship - with ARMY - and it's changed who they are to each other, over time.

To be fair it's not ARMY's fault, either. If we must lay blame somewhere throw it on the idol system, maybe. They were assigned their roles in the beginning and SO WAS ARMY. It goes both ways.

The hyungs handle it better, overall. They were a few very crucial years older. They were given more responsibility and less, I think, insecurity. Don't get me started on neurodivergency. Or gayness. I'LL PONTIFICATE, IT WILL TURN INTO A DAMN FILIBUSTER, LET'S JUST NOT OKAY.

"But we LOVE THEM," I hear you cry. How can our love be unhealthy? Oh let me count the ways.

I LOVE a good fansite photographer. And Black & White is the best of the best - supportive, great shots, excellent with boundaries. See that? Jungkook recognized and was not upset to see them - because he sees them. A LOT. Here's Jimin taking notice:

He ain't mad. But cameras are as normal to BTS as breathing. Kinda like stylists. They get so used to having them there they don't quite seem real without them. To us, certainly, but maybe also to themselves. And as we've been let in to (almost) every facet of their lives we've become a little entitled. We think we know them - and in many ways we do. We see them cry, laugh, snort, fart, snore, sneeze and cough. We've even managed to be privy to inconvenient wood and bathtub photos - usually dressed, but Namjoon is not here today. "They're so relatable", we sigh. "How are they even real," we swoon. And yet we know they are, because we see them like this:

Little derpcakes, all of 'em. And we go "must protect!"

We protecc, we attacc, we give a boy a snacc, we make up memes about it and feel a little superior to all those fans who don't protect their idols - as well we should, we're the bomb. THE BANGTAN BOMB BITCHES.

And in so doing we have "protected" the maknae line right into eternal teenhood.

I've done it myself. Ask me how old Park Jimin is and I am as likely as not to tell you he's 24. (He's about to turn 27 international. At the end of the year he turns 29, Korean age.)

Again, much of this is marketing and is done deliberately because teen girls spend money. They also write fanfiction, draw and paint fan art, and attend concerts. And some of the fics are amazing, most are porn-adjacent or straight (gayyyy) erotica. Ditto a chunk of the art. But keep in mind that minors produce and consume all manner of media. A Minors DNI warning might as well be a neon sign. And fiction and depiction are SAFE ways for ARMY to explore their own and other sexualities. Put a pretty boy naked in a high school locker room with a tattooed, musclebound alpha quarterback and the metaphorical or literal jizz flings itself into the stratosphere. BUT LORD HELP A GROWN ASS ADULT MAN THAT ACTUALLY GETS A GIRLFRIEND.

Or boyfriend.

Stay tuned for the rest of this mess, probably.

#parasocial relationships #maknae line #army #bts army #jimin #jungkook #taehyung #just out here on my bullshit don't mind me

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phtalogreenpoison · 11 months

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Constance my beloved

So to start this post off, I have been having brainworms over Constance's internal monologue where she feels like she is annoying as a person. And how she remembers one time when she accidentally saw in Reynie's thoughts that he was annoyed with her when she didn't mean to be, she was devastated. Because as a little sibling myself, yes you want to pester your friends/family, especially if you need/want attention, but you don't want to come across as annoying unless you're TRYING to be. But then how it helped her whole world view and self esteem once she realized over time that Reynie treated her the exact same way. Because he cared about her. Because that's one of his best friends. Because that's his baby sister. Because yes, she's annoying, and he still loves her.

And that's not even getting into how she she is so insecure in the Prisoner's Dilemma about not being officially adopted because she doesn't legally EXIST,,, so in her head, maybe the Benedicts don't want her FOREVER ya know? And how Mr. Benedict eases that fear by doing everything in his power to provide this traumatized lonely child a safe, loving home. I imagine Rhonda being a consistently soothing presence, and Number Two probably also gets through to her in a way maybe the others can't because they share a similar fiery temper. And so by the time that the Riddle of Ages takes place, Constance calls Mr. Benedict "Dad" in a way that maybe Rhonda and Number Two felt too old to do by the time they were adopted, providing both of them this strong sense of found family. Maybe Constance dyes her hair red because it reminds her of Number Two, and she misses the fact that Rhonda moved out because she got married.

Also I definitely her as neurodivergent but specifically autistic. She has a love of words and pattern recognition (so much so that she is literally psychic lol), but this can result in her getting overstimulated and burnt out. She feels like she can be a difficult person, but she is literally constantly dealing with sensory overload because she is bombarded by everyone's thoughts and feelings all the time. And they learn how to accomodate her! Constance's poems are a way she expresses both her loves and her frustrations, and in Riddle of Ages, Sticky and Reynie understand why she's in her room so much of the time (besides obvious psychic reasons). They are also just glad that she is eating, and sweet foods seem to be a safe food for her. I imagine Moocho's apple pie is especially so, and I bet Kate makes sure she has some on had when Constance has had a particularly rough day.

Anyways I probably will rant about her again, but I loved seeing this grumpy, brilliant child so loved and cared for as she was, without having to change those aspects of herself. Yes, she does grow up and learns things about herself, but she is still fundamentally so Constance.

#constance contraire #mysterious benedict society #mysterious benedict society and the riddle of ages #mbs spoilers #mbs #character analysis #yes i love her #she's my grumpy little blorbo

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zorotitties · 1 year

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I hate dudebro OP fans

I shudder saying this, but sometimes I visit the one piece subreddit *groans* I know. But sometimes really good cosplayers and theories pop up there! But I'm not here to talk about the good, unfortunately. I see it on reddit, on tiktok, on Instagram, and even Facebook. Cishet male one piece fans. Who take everything so fucking seriously, who think every character is straight, who criticize the manga to hell and back for all the wrong reasons. SPOILERS FOR MOST RECENT CHAPTER START HERE, THEY WILL BE BETWEEN TWO CAUTION EMOTES

⚠️ I saw one today that said that luffy using gear 5 on Lucci was stupid and that it made his fight with kaido look pointless and made kaido look weak because "obviously Lucci is weaker than kaido so why would Luffy have to use gear 5?" MF the boy isn't logical, he's not using gear 5 because he thinks he can't beat Lucci without it. He's using it because A) it's a new form he likes it, he wants to show off his new powers because Lucci is doing the SAME DAMN THING and B) he wants to show Lucci he's not messing around and that he recognizes how strong Lucci is. It's to show that he was a formidable foe ⚠️

So there's that bullshit lmfao. And then you have the people who insit Zoro will end up with Hiyori, those who ship Luffy and Hancock (no shade I guess but wtf), think of Sanji at surface level face value shit and see him as uber straight, completely ignoring kamabaka kingdom and his very obvious struggle with gender and sexuality. Dudebro OP fans love to point out shit and then ignore things that contradict their points entirely. They love to ignore the queer characters in OP. They love to ignore that Kiku and Yamato are trans. They love to ignore that Luffy has not once ever shown interest in a woman INCLUDING Hancock, but has blushed around zoro. They love to ignore Zosan's dynamic. Zolu's dynamic. Vivi and Nami's dynamic. They straight up refuse to acknowledge that Bon Clay is queer. They borderline suck the fun out of the anime. I can't imagine like genuinely rating all the arcs, overly criticizing them and calling some of them straight up bad. And maybe that's just because One Piece is my special interest, but holy fuck man how can you genuinely hate any arc. There are so many fans out there that just hate Wano and Skypiea and it's so CONFUSING bro. Idk I'm literally just talking out of my ass and going on my autistic little rant but damn!! Try enjoying the show !!! Try analyzing the characters beyond their fights. Try acknowledging some of your faves are queer. Oh and God help anyone that try to label any of the characters as neurodivergent. "Luffy is just an idiot" no you're a fucking idiot. He's obviously autistic.

Anyway I dont expect anybody to read this but if you do and you disagree with me uhmmmmm kys idk? /j

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