#march. i'm just not doing great with it all i suppose. especially because i had something happen last week that made me really upset and i

[arklay]

Your anger and sadness are so fucking justified. Stealing someone's oc is ridiculous. There's NO need to do that! You don't even need that much creativity to make your own, and if you're really stuck (like I get sometimes) just look towards canon characters or blogs dedicated to help building ocs. What's worse is tumblr's blocking system because, unless you block them on anon, it simply blocks their blog. They can log out and still view your blog! God I'm so sorry that this happened.

thank you 😭😭 i'm like so just horrifically angry right now that idk if i'm overreacting or if i was seeing things that weren't there, but no, the more i look and the more i match up the timeline of posts, it becomes extremely apparent to me that their oc is a copy of diana, and that really really hurts. and yes, i've cried a lot about it, because i talk about her so often and how much she means to me and how much just creative energy she gave me this year and the fact that i even write consistently now, so it hurts. i put a lot into her, so it's just really unfair, and like you said, blocking people on here is like hardly even effective

#asks. #anonymous #thank you for like validating my anger because i often feel a lot of guilt with my reactions and um idk like i feel like i am not allowed #to get angry in the first place because of like imposter syndrome and all that nonsense. but i just kept seeing things from that oc's story #and not just backstory but little facts or what were throw away comments and it just... everything. i could connect to diana. and the #colour scheme is similar too and the heights and the timeline and the little things about like ex-husband. working at nest. close to the #birkins. saw al as an annoyance at the start lmao like there's so much i could connect. and now seeing that their oc also injected themself #with a virus on a whim which i've talked about many times with diana doing and that he got very overprotective and worried afterwards with #it. like. all these things in isolation. fine. whatever. but when they all add up... it's ridiculous. like i'm just so hurt because i #constantly talk about how special diana is to me and how special they both are to me and i don't know what to do because i don't feel the #need to reach out and like accuse directly but it's like. they get away with that. and my ideas. and my character who has been around since #feb. i made her on valentine's day. i'm not even joking. so. i didn't post about her until early march. well i did but that's the earliest #in her tags because i delete posts a lot. went and looked at my oc blog and no there are still things from feb. but on here the earliest is #march. i'm just not doing great with it all i suppose. especially because i had something happen last week that made me really upset and i #was just getting back into like okay i'll post on here more often. and then i notice this and idk i'm rambling but i just feel really sick #like the realisation sunk in and i felt sick to my stomach so it hurts #but um thank you for saying all of this like it does mean a lot to me to know that my reaction is justified so thank you

[yuri-is-online]

hi, i'm not the same anon but i would like to hear more about the fyuuture kid au 👉👈 especially about riddle!!

hello new friend, you picked someone who is having a real bad time in this au (ﾟωﾟ；)

I am going to give some general information about Yutu and then move on to some Riddle specific stuff.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, general au explanation can be found here, and the posts can be found on my masterlist under the series section.

General Yutu Facts

"Yutu" is supposed to be a fake name fyuuture kid is using to help hide his identity, but I am open to suggestions on that. Originally he didn't remember his name and Crowley picked it out for him, but I like the idea of "Yuu two" being a nickname he had in both your world and Twisted Wonderland and picked as his alias to honor his parent. Yutu really admires Yuu, he has nothing but empathy for your situation and respect for your strength, and while he certainly fought with you from time to time (some Yutus more than others) he wants to be like you.

That desire was very much cemented when he heard about how you won against the overblot phantoms. Yutu's unique magic changes depending on who his dad is, but all Yutus have extensive experience in combat magic and have fought a lot of monsters. Including overblot phantoms, same as you. His fights didn't go as well though... he's extremely afraid of the Great Seven's phantoms and has regular nightmares about them.

Back to the names... I didn't have names picked out for every version of Yutu, but Riddle does happen to have been one of them. His real name was supposed to be March, yes like the march hare but if I'm honest I was more thinking about the saying "in like a lion out a lamb" because I thought that described Riddle's temper pretty well.

The other ones I picked out I still like are Merrin (I swear I found it on a list of mountain themed names??? But it means sea born or pearl of the sea), Laurie (yes like little women, his unique magic was supposed to something to do with painting), and Roland (I have an unironic love for French peerage ok please do not judge me).

Some of the Yutus were meant to have older siblings who stayed behind in Twisted Wonderland (Riddle! Yutu wasn't one of them), but that was very much an idea I didn't develop extensively since it was more left over from Fire Emblem Awakening. I wanted there to be a Lucina type older sibling character who was very protective of Yutu and wanting a future where he gets to stay in Twisted Wonderland and they get to be a happy family. But again I didn't cook this idea extensively so idk how to feel about keeping it as a part of the ayuu.

Anyway on to the Riddle specific stuff ¬‿¬

So that bit about Yutu's real name coming from a description from Riddle's temper: I like to leave what Yutu looks like up to the reader, but Riddle! Yutu if nothing else took two things from his father, his (lack of) height and his temper. His facial expressions when pouting and angry are eerily similar, and they both have a strong affinity for fire. Riddle! Yutu is a lot like Riddle Tsum now that I think about it? Very high energy and likes to jump around all over the place, but determined to be at least somewhat dignified.

Since traveling back in time Yutu has been "studying" with Grim to try and get his flames hot enough to burn blue to flex on his dad and to bond with the monster. He usually just ends up watching him though, the mental image he had of Grim vs what the little guy is actually like is really wild.

Back to the temper, unlike Riddle Yutu wasn't home schooled so he got into a lot of trouble for losing it on other students. He had a chip on his shoulder about not having a dad, having a parent with amnesia, and especially about being short oh god he is so spiteful about that. He got sent to detention a lot, and shamefully it made him fight with Yuu a lot too. Not that he hates Yuu, he was just very emotional and not always the easiest to deal with. His last few interactions with Yuu before they died were very strained, and he is filled with remorse for a bunch of stupid things he said.

When he gets to the point where he has to admit to Yuu who he is there is going to be a lot of crying and begging for forgiveness. He was a stupid, angry kid who just wanted to know who he was and didn't feel like he belonged lashing out at the one person who he knew wanting nothing but the best for him. He doesn't really feel the need to ask for forgiveness from his dad (yet)... by the time Yutu was isekaid into Twisted Wonderland Riddle had been corrupted by his overblot phantom and was wrecking the Queendom of Roses so he never really met the real Riddle until he traveled back in time.

He also got compared to Riddle a lot, Yutu isn't stupid by any means but because of all that time spent in detention he is a bit behind on the fundamentals. Not to mention all Riddle has done up to this point is practice magic and Yutu only just found out it was real so of course there was going to be a skill gap! But still, he's Riddle's son and Riddle was a very memorable student for Crewel, so Yutu was guaranteed to hear some comparisons. It didn't help the daddy issues though...

Speaking of Yutu's time at NRC, he did get placed into Heartslabyul by the Dark Mirror and he does know all 810 rules of the Queen's rules. He's not as obsessed with them as Riddle is but he still knows what he's supposed to do and tries to be on his best behavior. He was not interested in being dorm leader and wanted to instead focus on the things Yuu always encouraged him to do, like controlling his temper and getting good grades.

I sort of like the idea of his unique magic being the ability to grow/shrink because in the book Rule 42 of the Queen of Hearts says “All persons more than a mile high to leave the court" and I like the idea of him trying to use his spell to get out of arguments with his dad.

Riddle has no idea that Yutu hates him... at first. This is partially because Yutu is usually very polite to him and partially because he is utterly unaware of how much people are afraid of him in general, but he starts to pick up on it when he tries to interact with Yuu. He wants to have a private tea party with just Yuu? Well Yutu immediately starts acting like this is somehow scandalous and calls him out on his feelings in front of the prefect and he wants to lose it so badly- Yuu agrees anyway and Riddle immediately gets unreasonably smug while Yutu pouts. Take that sucker! He's going to study with the prefect all alone and since it's Riddle you know you really are just going to study.

I don't think Riddle really considers Yutu a rival for Yuu's romantic attention, partially because he isn't fully aware of what it is he feels for Yuu, but even if he was. Riddle knows that Yuu sees Yutu as someone under their care similar to Grim, they actually talk to him about it quite a bit and he has no issue with that. He is actually sort of grateful for Yutu's existence since it has given him an excuse to talk to Yuu more and let them know how he respects them.

Yutu's academic struggles are something that actually bring him closer to Riddle ironically enough. Riddle has created study guides for Yuu and Grim before, he has no problem doing that for Yutu and inviting himself over to give instructions.

"Did you not get a lot of help from your parents?" Riddle sounds nervous, and he should it's an invasive question to ask. Yutu wants to be angry, but when he looks at Riddle, he just feels sad. "Not that it is any of my business really but well. I just noticed you never really talk about them, even to Yuu."

"My dad wasn't really around." He forces himself to look at Riddle when he says it, but it doesn't make him feel any better. If anything it makes Yutu feel worse, he knows about as much about Riddle as Riddle knows about him now that he's forced to look at him. "And my other parent... they tried really hard. But I wasn't always willing to accept it."

"I can't say I understand what that would be like." Riddle looks like he is trying to and that should be what he wants, right? "My mother home schooled me so it's hard for me to understand that someone's parents wouldn't be a constant figure in their schooling."

"You were home schooled?"

Yutu didn't know anything about his grandmother, it didn't even really occur to him that he had one and once he learns about her... well it certainly makes things make a lot more sense. He doesn't want to meet her, but he is curious about what she thought about his parent. What would she think about him? Does he even want to know?

My last concrete thought is that Yutu doesn't really get the whole horse girl thing. He is sort of afraid of horses actually, but I can see him maybe wanting to ride with Riddle once their relationship gets a bit better just to do something with him.

I like the idea of Riddle! Yutu being very into baseball for some reason and there's no way he's going to convince his dad to do that with him ha. Well not in this timeline anyway, I can see good timeline Riddle doing a bunch of research on baseball so he can talk to his kid about it. And showing up to all his matches to scream in support of his kid instead of at the coaches. He is breaking the cycle we love to see it.

#<3 asks #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #future kid au #riddle rosehearts x yuu #riddle rosehearts x reader

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: 4 Minutes (The Power of Madonna)

Sung by: Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones Original Artist(s): Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

Baby penguin my ass.

I sometimes go back and read 'of the day' reviews, and one of them stated that this episode featured too much music. And I got to thinking, while I clearly don't agree, this is the one that would probably end up on the chopping block. I'm very glad it didn't though, because I think it has more to say than you may think.

And it's only one of two duets we get between Kurt and Mercedes.

Story Anaylsis

It's really nice to be talking about Kurt again... when is the last time???

So, here's the fascinating thing about this one. Kurt and Mercedes both often feel like they're playing second fiddle - especially to Rachel Berry. And here they get to showcase their amazing talents together. But the thing is - they got this huge performance as a thank you from Sue for making her over in Vogue. (Also - Sue is doing this as an FU to Will, but Sue is savvy enough to know talent when she sees it - and Kurt will remain one of her favorites for the rest of the series.)

The song itself is a little random story wise -- and most likely chosen because it was a highly energetic, more modern hit. It's a song about going out and saving the world in 4 minutes? Honestly - the lyrics are supposed to be about saving the planet, and having the urgency to do so. But I can finagle a few things...

I think one of the things both Kurt and Mercedes are doing here are latching onto the urgency in their own lives. Sue's giving them a chance to shine and they're both going to take it. Neither of them is willing to wait around for Will to give them a chance. So, they'll make their own chances. Which speaks to both their characters, really.

But if I die tonight At least I can say I did what I wanted to do Tell me, how bout you?

I think the lyrics are mostly not the point in this one. But I like this little stanza. It speaks to the two of them briming with their own confidence and jumping at the chance to show, at least the school, what they can do.

I'm going to quote myself from my Kurt meta:

One of the things I really love is how confident both Kurt and Mercedes are in this dance number–with the whole school watching.  Before, both of them were looked down upon, and thrown in dumpsters, and slushied, but now that they’re with the Cheerios and singing Madonna, they really latch on to a growing self-confidence.  Sure, they aren’t there yet, and they have many more obstacles to go over, but just the fact that they’re up there performing, uncaring really what anyone else thinks, is a step in the right direction.

I will say - one of the things that I've often had a hard time buying on this show is that people continually think that these kids are losers. I'd have been so amazed if I saw a performance like this in high school. There's no reason any of these kids get the hate they get except for the fact that the plot needs them to be.

Technical Thoughts

First of all - I love that they arranged this as a marching band song. Not only is it a great interpretation to the heavy sound of the original song, but it's nice to see a marching band used well on screen.

Secondly, they sound pretty good! I love Kurt in his lower register. And Mercedes just owns this song. It's not surprising that they had them switch parts because Amber is much more comfortable with kind of song than Chris and it does show a little bit in the vocal track.

The on screen charisma, though, they both have it. The fact that both Mercedes and Kurt feel so comfortable in their bodies is fantastic. Neither of them are what mainstream society would label as sexy or hot but I love, love, love that this speaks to that -- that these two are both sexy and hot in this number as they play off each other. The choreography on this is the best, and I love that they allow these characters to be in control and confident in their bodies.

Also - sometimes I don't think Chris gets enough credit. Yes, he can be clumsy and fall of a piano (oh we will get there) but sometimes he just owns his physicality in a way that is never commented on is just remarkable.

This performance also has some great reaction shots. I love that Will looks annoyed and almost disappointed. Rachel's 'no comment' was perfect. And I love that Quinn genuinely seems to be enjoying herself. (I love when Quinn gets to be a human.)

Also - super technical thing - but notice all the quick cuts and camera whips? I'm sure that was done purposely to enhance the urgency the song is trying to create.

Fun fact: Apparently, this is the last time Kurt does a duet with anyone else besides Blaine and Rachel until Adam Lambert shows up. Crazy right? Shame that the show doesn't try out varying combinations more often.

vs. The Studio Version: It's the full song! Or more so it feels like they just repeat the chorus a few more times. I do like the second half, though, because they both get into the song just a bit more and it feels even more powerful than the show version.

vs. The Original Song: I love that this song is actually 4 minutes long. It is slightly slower than Glee's version - which makes sense, because that's Glee's trend - to make everything just a little bit faster (I assume to fit into time limit of being on a tv show). As I said earlier, I think Glee's marching band interpretation is really cool - because it's a great in world adaptation of the instrumentation the original song uses. That all said, what is going on in this video? I don't get how this reflects saving the world. *shrugs*

#the great glee rewatch #so's musical retrospective #glee #glee music #kurt hummel #Youtube

[linguenuvolose]

2024 goals - March progress

I can't claim I focussed on my goals at all this month... Idk I don't really see them as goals either they're just kinda.. things I keep some track of. I know I said this last month but I think April will be more productive because this month for sure spring will feel like it's here (we're still waiting for the trees to turn green, it snowed A Lot last week, just to give you an idea of the situation).

Anyway love and light below are some reflections on my specific goals :)

Get back into a reading routine

I've kept on reading Orlando by Virginia Woolf and I only have 35 pages left. I'm still not consistent at all with it, I read a bit about once a week. I find it so hard to reach for the book instead of my phone, it's annoying because I really do enjoy the book.

Meet friends at least once a month

I've had some good hangouts this month, mostly others that have been reaching out. I'm happy because one of my friends came to my boyfriend's show and was so excited about it and I'm happy they are bonding! In April I have plans to go visit a friend who lives in another city (one of my closest friends who will also meet my boyfriend for the first time) and I'm also planning to reach out to another friend!

Do the damn exercises for my back :(

I did them like.... 2,5 times :( not good at all. And my salsa classes stopped in the middle of the month and I've decided to not continue so it's not looking perfect. Hopefully with the extra light we get now I can have more energy to do them in the evening.

Get better at Portuguese

I signed up for the Portuguese course at uni <3333 Hopefully I'll get in and I'll be able to do that in the fall. I studied in some way 11 days of the month which isn't nothing!! Started doing Clozemaster and I really like it, especially on the writing mode (let's be honest, all my knowledge in Romance languages makes the "choose from these four options" a walk in the park for me). It's super annoying that the free plan only allows you 30 words a day. What I really should do is produce more, write little texts and stuff.

Get my license

We're still waiting for the permit to be able to practice driving with my boyfriend but it's taking a while... I've had 2 lessons though (was supposed to have 3 but one got cancelled). I don't know that I feel that I'm getting any better but I do really have to start studying the theory. It would be nice to talk to my instructor also and ask him what he thinks a reasonable time frame would be for me. In my head I'm seeing myself getting the license during the summer but who knows.

Get back into the habit of going on walks

I have been on some walks this month but more in the sense of I am somewhere and walk a bit instead of taking the closest subway. But I mean now with the change of the hour and the warmer weather I for sure am seeing myself going on more walks!

Go to the theatre more (youth discount my beloved) and also to some museums!

I went to the Maurizio Cattelan exposition at the Modern art museum because my friend had a free entrance with her job. I actually really liked it! Unfortunately I was in a bit of a hurry so I didn't have time to meander or look at the other expositions but I would love to go back! They do the free entry on Friday evenings so I think I might go!

Improve my sleeping schedule

I actually compiled my statistics for this this month (yay!). Slept an average of 7h15 but if we just look at work nights it's 6h20. Not great... It's not something I've paid particular attention to this month but I think I should. I think a goal could be maybe sleep before 1 more often (this month it was 3 times hihihi ma come siamo messi raga).

#snicksnack #2024 goals

[theopteryx]

12,18,22

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

answering this first because it'll come up in all of these (and is not a surprise to anyone who knows me because I haven't shut up about it since I got back!) but I got to go to japan for two weeks earlier this year and I still think about it all the time. a few specific memories: the fushimi inari shrines in kyoto - we visited very early in the morning, before it was too crowded, and we hiked what felt like a thousand steps up that mountain but it was beautiful. my friend lost his mother earlier in the year and specifically wanted to go as part of mourning her, and it was really moving to get to be there with him. i also think about the weird airbnb we stayed in in osaka with a decibel meter in it that would sound an alarm if we talked too loud, the little park by our place in shinjuku, the little dive bar where the bartender heard me tell someone i was from new orleans and put new orleans jazz on for the whole bar, the night we went clubbing and my friend got so out of his mind drunk we couldn't put him in a cab and the trains weren't running so my other friend and i looped our arms through his and army marched him like two miles back through tokyo to our place as the sun rose, singing songs to keep him moving, and feeling so happy. a million places. i can't wait to go back one day.

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

so the reason the japan trip was able to happen at all was because one of my best friends won a bunch of money and wanted to help pay for part of the trip and invited me along; I knew a lot of the people going on the trip but not everybody, and I knew there was the possibility (as there always is in situations like this) of personalities rubbing the wrong way. traveling with people is weird! especially people you don't know. there was someone on the trip i hadn't known before, but i know that anyone who my friend likes enough to invite on a trip like this is a good egg. but even knowing that, we did NOT start out on the best foot - i got a bad first impression of her, and there were a few situations where i ended up VERY frustrated, we did NOT mesh, and at some point i snapped at her in front of everyone harsher than i meant to. long story short, a few days in we ended up split off from the group at one point in a big museum and we had this moment where realized that a lot of her behavior was because her anxiety was just absolutely out of control, and that she really just needed a buddy, and i had to step back and reengage with her in a different way, and after that we were a team. we became each other's travel buddy and there were several little adventures that she and i ended up having together that were some of my favorites of the whole trip, and wouldn't have happened if we hadn't figured out how to mesh, and i'm so grateful!

18. A memorable meal this year?

so PART of my friend paying for part of this trip was that he made all the decisions about where we were gonna stay, which we were happy to let him do especially because he'd been to japan before. he really wanted us to go to a ryokan in a hot springs town (something he'd done before), but none of us had ever been before or really knew anything about it, so when he kept telling us that there was this DINNER that was happening we all just were like, sounds great! well we fucked up because we're idiots and read the train schedule wrong, and we realized that we were actually going to get into the mountain town about four hours later than we were supposed to, which meant we were going to get into the ryokan not just after our arrival window, but way after dinner time. and my friend kept being like. THE DINNER....BUT THE DINNER. and all of us were like, it's ok!! we'll just get something when we get there! trying to be cool but he was so sad. like the ONE thing he had his heart set on. the amount of times he'd say 'and they have this DINNER...' and trail off. so we're going to be late, and as soon as we realized he called them to apologize profusely and the staff was VERY disappointed on the phone and were like, well, you might just have to eat noodles in the cafe because it will be so late, and we of course have no expectations AND felt terrible about being late so we're like, that's fine!!!!!! we're happy to!!!!!!! we're so sorry!!!!!!!! anyway - cut to us finally getting into this town. it's late. it's beautiful. it's cold. the place is lit up. we have to take cabs up the hill winding up this road through the trees and you can see the lights near the river below us. it's this sprawling property woven into the trees. stunning. and we're all exhausted and we're expecting to get a keycard and eat train snacks from our bag for dinner and pass out. but we get to the ryokan and a bunch of the staff had waited up for us which - mortifying!! so kind!! but they were so, so, so lovely, and helped us pick out our yukata to take to our rooms and we thought that was it, but the attendant was like - no, we have your dinner! we kept it warm for you. get dressed! and we were like ?? okay ?? and hurriedly got dressed in our yukatas and followed her back down the hallway (it was late, so it was so quiet, we felt like we were sneaking around after hours) and she took us through this winding historical building with all these VIEWS and then suddenly into a beautiful room with a table just absolutely laid out in a feast, carefully covered with paper until we got there. and my friend was like. I. TOLD. Y'ALL. THERE. WAS. A. DINNER. which does not even begin to cover what a kaiseki meal is, with multiple courses and beautiful dishware and fresh sashimi and your own little grill, and and and. it's not just dinner!! we thought it was just - dinner!! but it was one of the best meals of my entire life - we were so tired we were loopy, the plum wine was amazing, the staff were so kind, every dish was beautiful. i kept the printed japanese menu they gave us and brought it home and pressed it into a scrapbook like a nerd. you have to be!! more!! clear!!!!!!!!!! about what 'dinner' means!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but also, WHAT a memory, what a surprise, what a meal.

#ask meme

[leonsliga]

God, I'm so happy for Leon! He hasn't been able to score a goal lately. He was constantly trying, he couldn't do it, it was noticeable how upset and angry he was. Now it happened, he was so happy, it was great to see him smile. I think it's such a relief for him.

Now on March 14, Nagelsman has to announce the line-up for NT, and I'm so nervous about it. Yes, there are a lot of players in the midfield right now, but Leon is in such great shape that it's a crime not to call him up. Even if Nagelsmann sees the midfield differently, it's stupid to give up a player like Leon because he can help the team. I am glad that Leon played such a good match right now before the announcement of the squad, he left no choice to the coach, and it would just be unfair if he stayed at home.

Same here 🥹 I know that it’s difficult for him to get on the scoresheet these days, especially since Tuchel tends to use him more defensively. Selfishly though, I’m so glad we got to see Leon Scoretzka make his triumphant return, not once, but twice!

It’s so good for his confidence too; after all, his performance was more than just his beautiful brace (although I’m sure he was proud of it—rightfully so); he was excellent all around. It was his perfectly-weighted assists and his constant involvement in the buildup, coupled with those two goals, that made him a veritable man of the match. He was Bayern’s motor, powering them to victory at every turn, both defensively and offensively.

It’s funny…Leon’s role on the pitch is intended to be subtle; he’s supposed to extinguish fires before they start, and to feed attackers with all the through-balls they could ever need. Nevertheless, it was impossible to overlook him against Mainz. I couldn’t help but think back to some of his best performances during Bayern’s treble-winning season; I mean, how could I not? What we saw vs. Mainz was the Leon we know and love—the Leon we’ve always known was in there, even if his powers have been somewhat subdued recently. After all, we’ve seen him perform like this before, and when he does, it’s hard not to fear the prospect of facing him.

Hell, if even Tuchel, who’s not exactly his biggest fan, was impressed with him, it says a great deal about just how good he was:

Leon even had time after the match to regale us with a wholesome story about his friends who came to watch him play:

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he catches up with them after the match. I don’t think even they could’ve expected him to carry Mainz around in his pocket for all 90 minutes 😂 regardless, I think I speak for everyone when I say it’d be awesome if those friends came around more often! Clearly they bring out the best in Leon, and their support means a lot to him :)

Ah yes, the dreaded March 14, looming as large over Leon’s head as it is for all of us who support him. Good thing Leon came out guns blazing against Mainz. Of the all the times to rediscover your form, right? 🤣 With nt call-ups right around the corner, getting Nagelsmann’s attention is definitely a good thing. Especially if you believe the current reports (which I’m taking with a grain of salt because I like to live in delusion 😅):

Even if it is a bit last minute, Leon put up a damn strong argument of why he belongs on the national team. Right now though, it’s all in Nagelsmann’s hands. Leon’s done everything he can. Now we just need to hold our breath and hope it was enough 🙏❤️

#anon 💖 #leon goretzka #beating the subject matter to a pulp as per #fc bayern #fc bayern munich #fc bayern münchen #die mannschaft #dfb team #german nt #germany nt #my asks #football asks

[houseofbrat]

Hey HoB - I have a question on the Cambs revamp and whether this represents a victory of style over substance.

Royal Watchers are over the moon with their new social media because it gives them content to consume but I’m not so sold on it appealing to gen z and shoring up support for the monarchy, which is how they’re trying to justify the Hollywood celeb style rebrand. Personally I found their comms over the Coronation weekend in very poor taste, seeming to erase The King and Queen and promote it as it was their event (after they disappeared for a month and only resurfaced the Thurs before when crowds had gathered to act like it was for them).

But does anyone see through it and will the media eventually see through it. Take the big lunch on the Sunday. The Yorks were already posted to Windsor so why didn’t they go to Cornwall or Chester (remember those titles?) to celebrate with local people. Instead they went to the long walk where Royalists were gathering for the concert so the headlines were they were “mobbed” and it looks great on their socials. But to me it misses the point of what their role is supposed to be?

Same for the pic on World Bee Day, something Catherine has never done an engagement for. But she’s suddenly cast as the “Queen Bee” (such a fortuitous headline - almost like it was planned) when The King has advocated for bees & beekeepers for years and the Queen sells honey from her private beehives to raise funds for charity.

This is a long way of asking if you see the current focus on style rather than substance being a winning strategy? Has it changed William’s prospects for when he’s eventually King? I think they’re underestimating the intelligence of gen z that flashy 60 second reels are what will win them over if they’re already ambivalent, especially as both W&C are now middle aged.

Maybe I’m old fashioned but I think engaging people where they are is still the best way to win them over. I think about the King and Queen’s visit to Project Zero early in their reign. QC had met one of the volunteers of the charity at a big lunch, he’d asked her to visit, she said write to me, he did and she followed through and took The King.

They interviewed some of the youth that go to the center and common consensus was they didn’t care about the Monarchy but they could see the genuine efforts to engage and that’s shifted them from ambivalence. I just don’t see Hollywood videos having the same affect or am I just naive?

Sorry for the long post but just wanted to give context for my thoughts and interested to hear your opinion and predictions.

[ask from 21 May 2023]

I always tend to think of social media--in whatever specific app or modality--as a tool. It's a delivery system for information. At this point, I think they are just putting up content even if they can't tie it directly to a patronage or visit. I'm not really sure if that's bad in the long run. Also, neither Will nor Kate make enough visits on the regular to constantly give their chief of social media enough content without doing photos like the beekeeping one, so they have to pull from somewhere.

The only thing that would really change William's prospects as king is if he did more non-Royal Foundation visits on a regular basis. Except he doesn't. And won't. He would have to do things like the Project Zero visit you mentioned above. Except he won't because he prioritizes the causes he wants to champion: mental health, homelessness, and the environment.

William is not as well-practiced in visiting people and places he doesn't have a direct interest in as he should be, at the age of 41. Why--when he and Kate visited Wales earlier this year in March--did they have to include a tie-in to mental health? Shouldn't visiting the people of Wales and seeing all the interesting things they are up to be enough? Apparently not. If a visit cannot be tied to the issues and causes of their Royal Foundation, they aren't interested in doing it.

Which means they are excluding vast swaths of the British public from ever meeting them.

Kate is guilty of it too. Even next week when Kate visits the National Portrait Gallery for their re-opening, there's going to be a portion of the visit devoted to seeing what kids under the age of 5 are up to at the NPG. Yet another visit devoted to the kiddies. When is she ever going to visit a factory? I'm pretty sure the UK still has plenty of those.

You're never going to see Will or Kate do a visit like Charles did at a Kellogg's factory a few months ago. They consider it beneath them because they act like celebrity activists. Because when it comes down to it, they are.

#ask #King Charles III #William The Prince of Wales #Catherine The Princess of Wales #social media #comparison #The Celebrity Activists also known as The Prince & Princess of Wales

[frozenbound]

requesting one where sojiro is tired of hanzo and genji stealing each others boytoys and decides to do the adult thing and "confiscate" their toys until they make up

Oooo, what a great prompt! I haven't had the chance to write Sojiro for a while, so I'm glad he's back!

And when you say that Hanzo and Genji should make up... ;)

Thanks for the request, Anon!

Sojiro confiscating the boytoys, coming right up under the Read More!

“Ryū ga waga teki wo kurau!”

“Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!”

Sojiro sighed, finished typing his sentence, then waved the holoscreen away and stood up. He walked to the window and looked down into the gardens, and sure enough, there were Hanzo and Genji, both striking at each other with enough fury that shadows danced and waved under the flames of their fury all around them despite the afternoon sun above.

On the fringes of their fight, looking aghast and fretful, were what’s-his-name and what’s-his-name…C…C…Cowboy and L…L…Lucy. Lucy? That didn’t sound right, but it was close. Cowboy and Lucy were running back and forth, waving their arms and shouting, giving no heed whatsoever to either their nudity or Hanzo and Genji’s.

Sojiro grimaced with some real frustration.

It was obvious what had happened: Genji and Hanzo had snuck away with the other’s boytoy of the day and had, in true brotherly fashion, picked a spot for their illicit liaison that just happened to be within earshot of each other.

Sojiro could almost hear the argument that must have happened just before it had devolved into a dragon battle.

“I’m the elder brother! He’s mine by right of birth!”

“You have so many boyfriends, Hanzo! You can’t let me have two or three?!”

It was always the same theme, with depressingly little variation.

Sojiro had had enough, especially when the underlying problem was plain to see and extraordinarily easy to solve.

So he marched from his office to the “guest” quarters, with its increasingly crowded and permanent population, threw open the door to the main recreation room, and barked, “Clothes off and follow me! Now!”

Some, like the giant R…R…like the giant scrambled to their feet, dropped their trousers (because what was the use of ever wearing a shirt or underwear in Shimada Castle, honestly?), and lined up. Others, like the two supersoldiers who Sojiro really should remember because they had done something notable fairly recently, glanced at each other and came more slowly, like cats trying to convince their owner that they came because they chose, not because they were called.

But they came, because even they could see that Sojiro had something akin to fury in his face, and frankly he would be furious if anyone other than his beloved sons was engaging in such reckless and juvenile behavior.

They were 28 and 25, for heaven’s sake, yet there they were, fighting in the garden like a couple of toddlers.

When they were all nude and in a line, Sojiro whipped around and stalked down the hallway towards the garden door, the padding and thudding of many bare feet supporting hundreds of pounds of muscle following behind.

If there was any confusion amongst the collection of men his sons had amassed, it disappeared the instant Sojiro swung the door open and blue and green flashes of light greeted them all, along with the shouts and yells of his two overly dramatic sons.

There was a murmur behind him, and Sojiro clenched his jaw at the thought of how much his sons were embarrassing themselves, but that’s why they were the children and he was the father, he supposed.

He led the troupe almost into the fight itself. Lucy and the cowboy were still flitting about its edges, cupping their hands around their mouths and shouting, “C’mon, darling, I’m sorry! It’s my fault! Please, baby, come back, calm down, I’m sorry, alright, I’m sorry!” 

But neither of his sons paid heed.

They would pay heed to nothing, lost as they were in a hurricane of rushing wind and clanging swords and blue and green light.

Nothing except…

“Ryūjin ga waga teki o hofuru!”

Red.

Red, red, red.

Blue and green faded away and everything, everything was red.

Sojiro didn’t need his dragons to stay long; his sons were on their knees, heads bowed, in an instant.

His dragons rolled their eyes, snuffled at Sojiro’s hair and beard for a moment, checking up on him while they had a chance, and then faded away, and the world was muted and silent as the red seeped out and left everything pale and washed out in comparison to its brilliance.

Sojiro folded his arms and looked sternly down at his sons.

They were nude, of course, having been interrupted mid-coitus, but despite the ferocity of their battle and the fear gripping their hearts, both of which made them breathe heavily, their muscled shoulders rising and falling, their penises stood proud and tall and weeping and leaking.

Sojiro shook his head, just a little.

It was high time to stop this maddening, endless dance.

“Hanzo,” he said severely.

“Father, I…”

“Genji.”

Both of his sons flinched.

If Sojiro was angry with Genji, then his patience was truly at an end.

“You two have used your balls as your brains for far too long,” Sojiro thundered. “I have had enough. Since you can’t stop squabbling over your entourages, I have no choice but to make them my entourage until I am convinced you have returned to your senses.”

“What?!” Genji screeched, daring to look up, his face contorted with anger and dismay. “Dad! You can’t do…”

Then he looked stricken and dropped his wide eyes back to the ground.

Sojiro was indulgent towards his younger son, but there were lines even he couldn’t cross.

“Look at me,” Sojiro said quietly.

Hanzo immediately raised his eyes, resolute if still somewhat fearful and even ashamed, but Genji struggled to do the same.

“Genji!” Sojiro snapped.

Genji slowly looked up, face pale.

“Do not,” Sojiro growled, making his wrath plain, “look away.”

And he turned on his heel, marched to his sons’ largest concubine, looked him up and down, and pointed at the ground. “Will you be comfortable lying here?” he asked, switching to a friendly and earnest tone, “Or should I go get a blanket?”

The giant man, who had been standing almost at attention with his hands behind his back, immediately produced a large and thick picnic blanket that he’d been hiding.

Sojiro smiled. 

Handsome, gigantic, and intelligent.

He gestured at the ground and the giant man laid the blanket out and laid down on his back.

Sojiro stepped over his hips, bent over and felt between his asscheeks and sighed as he pulled out his buttplug.

He had been saving himself for Kimura tonight, but what had to be done had to be done.

So he slowly crouched and breathed out as the giant man’s cockhead, which felt as big as his fist and probably actually was, pressed insistently at the rim of muscle guarding his entrance. He could feel himself straining even after being stretched by the plug, but he let out a hiss of success as it passed into him, stretching him wide, oh-so-wide, and penetrated deep into his guts as he slid down until he was seated on the giant man’s neatly-trimmed pubes.

He leaned back and laid flat on the giant man’s impressive chest, feeling himself rise and fall with each of his breaths.

“Now…” he mused, scanning his sons’ boyfriends, “Ah, yes, you, Akande. Come here and ride me.”

Akande snorted, but he walked forward. He eyed the base of the gigantic cock below Sojiro, and pausing just long enough to pretend that he wished he was topping rather than bottoming, despite how hard and leaking he was, he mirrored Sojiro’s actions and sank down onto Sojiro, breathing out a breath of sheer pleasure as Sojiro’s large cock disappeared inside him.

Sojiro took a moment to revel in the heat, the smell of sweat, and the tight confines that his body both enjoyed and provided.

Then his eyes snapped to the two men who had instigated this most recent crisis. 

They stood quietly by, hands clasped in front of them as though it was somehow their fault that his sons were acting so childishly, but he held no ill will toward them.

That wouldn't stop him from making an example of them.

"Come here," he commanded, and the tall cowboy and the short…was he a DJ? Soijiro was fairly sure he was a DJ…looked at each other but came forward.

Sojiro looked from one to the other, thinking, then said to Lucy, "Sit on his face," gesturing at the giant man, whose giant tongue would do well to fuck that beautiful ass. Then, addressing the cowboy, he gestured at Akande and said, "Try to deep throat him. If you can."

Lucy had flushed, relieved and excited, at Sojiro’s command. The cowboy’s eyes flashed at the challenge and strutted forward confidently.

It was no surprise that they were currently Genji and Hanzo's respective favorites…nor was it a surprise, when Lucy impishly ground down hard onto the giant man's face and the wide, red tongue waiting for him, and when the cowboy made a little choked sound when he got only two-thirds down Akande’s incredible length before determinedly getting the rest in his mouth, that Hanzo and Genji would covet the other’s toy.

Even though they each had plenty more to choose from.

"You, the supersoldiers," Sojiro called out over the slurping noises coming from the cowboy and from under Lucy, "Worship me, starting with these pecs that rival yours. You, the medic: I need something in my mouth. And you, the plant guy: fill every hole that isn't currently occupied. Including yours. But not theirs," he spat, glancing at his sons just before he clamped his lips around the tasty, dripping treat that the medic…Bap? Was his name just Bap?...offered him.

The men all around him took that as their cue to speak freely.

"Well, well, Cassidy," Alande groaned, sounding inordinately pleased as he took hold of the cowboy’s…Cassidy’s head. "At long last, here you are, where you belong."

Cassidy had just enough time for an annoyed huff before Akande began pistoning into his mouth, making his throat bulge with each stroke even as he ground down on Sojiro’s cock spearing him open…but the cowboy remained where he was, eyes watering, jaw slack.

"Mm, Rein," Lucy moaned, gyrating his hips slowly, "that's it, loosen me up, get me ready. Your tongue's as big as most cocks, so it'll feel just fine going up inside me."

The two supersoldiers gave each other a sardonic look, but then they got down to business, lapping at Sojiro’s nipples with gusto before, with genuine appreciation, following the red lines of his tattoos over the acres and acres of muscle he had cultivated over the years.

The plant guy…Near…Near? That might be from a classic show of some sort, actually…Near was talented enough that both supersoldiers, Cassidy, and Reinhardt all gasped as one as his holographic creations, somehow wet and slick and slippery, dove into their assholes simultaneously, thin at first but rapidly thickening until they were all panting and gasping with pleasure at the thick girths stretching them as open as Reinhardt stretched Sojiro.

It amused Sojiro that Near knew Reinhardt’s dimensions exactly.

Sojiro could see that because the clever man had used his plant-like creations to sling himself in the air directly over Sojiro so that he had a clear view of the vine pumping in and out of his pretty ass.

He could give his sons this: they knew how to pick them.

But now they had nothing at all…or so they thought.

As he slurped and tongued at Bap’s cock, paying special attention to a spot on the underside that made him gasp deliciously, Sojiro looked over at Hanzo and Genji.

Their shoulders were still rising and falling, no doubt breathing heavily out of frustration and arousal as they obeyed their father and watched their toys pleasure him with rapt attention…

…except…

…when one brother glanced at the other’s raging, weeping erection.

Sojiro rolled his eyes.

The problem was so plain, so obvious.

Still. Out of fear of his wrath, Hanzo and Genji would remain there forever if they had to, so it was up to him to give them one last push.

But they could stand to wait a little bit longer.

Reinhardt’s cock was punching so deep into him, and Akande’s guts were so hot and tight around him, and the supersoldiers were moaning and groaning so sweetly, their hot breaths flowing across his skin, and Cassidy’s mouth and throat and Lucy’s ass sounded so slopping wet, and Near was such a beautiful sight above him.

His sons should learn to appreciate what they had before he pointed out what had been right in front of them the entire time.

Reinhardt groaned beneath him, the sound reverberating through Sojiro like a vibrating mattress, and warmth bloomed and flooded into Sojiro, setting his nerves on fire, especially when the giant man lanced one last time directly at his prostate.

He had little choice to do anything but grab into Akande’s hips and slam him down, straining to plunge as far inside as possible as he released his own completion into him, which, of course, pushed Akande over the edge with a yell as he did exactly the same with Cassidy’s skull, burying himself to the hilt and bending over, eyes wide and mouth agape, as the cowboy desperately swallowed around the thick girth spurting into his throat.

Then, suddenly, it was raining men…’s semen, as Cassidy, Lucy, the supersoldiers, and Near all cried out (except for the cowboy, whose mouth was full), and hot drops were falling all around, covering Sojiro’s red ink and graying beard with translucent pearly white.

By the time it stopped, he could have hardly gotten a different result if he had poured bucketfuls over himself; he was absolutely drenched.

Wonderful.

He might have to invent some excuse to confiscate his sons’ toys more often…if they hadn’t learned to share, at any rate.

But they might.

Akande let out a pleased grumble as he let the cowboy slide off his cock and carefully stood, extending a big hand to Sojiro to help him dismount Reinhardt. 

Once Sojiro was on his feet, he nodded to all the men in turn in both thanks and approval as they watched semen stream down the lines and curves of his muscular body with awe.

Then he turned toward his sons.

They were still kneeling, still watching, and still rockhard.

Sojiro shook his head.

Then he said, gently, “You know....”

Both of them stiffened, expecting more harsh words.

“I have only confiscated your toys. I haven’t confiscated your brother.”

Their jaws dropped.

Sojiro smiled encouragingly.

They turned towards each other, eyes wide and searching…and still glancing down at the other’s straining, twitching erections.

Then, in a split second, they were rolling around on the ground, arms wrapped tight around each other, tasting the other’s mouth with the feverish pace of starving men.

Sojiro shook his head.

Problem solved.

He turned away and started walking toward the house, walking through the crowd of men staring at the brothers, some looking shocked and others, particularly the supersoldiers, looking like they had expected this.

Just as he passed Lucy, however, he heard the young man say to himself, sounding dejected, “I guess…they won’t be needing us anymore.”

Sojiro clapped a hand on his defined, thick shoulder. “Of course they will,” he said warmly, smiling down at him. “Perhaps not for a few days, or a week or two; they’ve been dancing around each other their entire lives, after all. But once they’ve settled, they’ll need someone to highfive over. They’ve always wanted to do the Eiffel Tower.”

Lucy brightened, looking immensely comforted.

“In the meantime,” Sojiro continued, “I have still technically confiscated you. All of you,” he added, raising his voice. “Come. I need you all to lick me clean, then scrub me clean in the baths.”

Tearing their eyes away from the spectacle, all his sons’ boytoys obediently followed, perhaps feeling grateful towards Sojiro for relieving a great pressure in their lives.

They should be grateful, Sojiro thought with a little self-aggrandizement. 

And he knew exactly how they could show it.

#anon #asks #requests #my stories #sojiro shimada #shimadacest #hanzo shimada #genji shimada #reinhardt wilhelm #gabriel reyes #soldier 76 #jack morrison #lúcio correia dos santos #niran pruksamanee #akande ogundimu #doomfist #cole cassidy #baptiste

[ajarofsugarfreestrawberryjam]

songs that are so anderperry-coded. . . ♡

this version especially...

i could quote the whole song but here are my fave lines:

And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you

mostly cute, also gut-wrenching at times. still obsessed

All I know for now is our bodies clutching tight Leaving wrinkles across your eyelids From the sheet that is our garden And I sincerely beg your pardon If I'll break your heart or if you will break mine

okay this one's gonna be long but i've been obsessed with this song since like march and i've just joined the DPS fandom and it's so anderperry. . . !

All my friends tell me I should move on I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song Ahh That's how you sang it

todd reading a midsummer night's dream out loud every night, always accompanied by hysterical sobbing and wailing that gets harder when neil's parts come up. . .

Loving you forever can't be wrong Even though you're not here, won't move on Ahh That's how we played it

todd wasn't going to be the same after neil, everybody knew. he became closer with the poets (and jeff, they had a heart-to-heart talk after jeff found out), yes, but with other people, he became even more closed off, not wanting to let people in, too scared of pain.

And there's no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody It won't leave my head Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine But I wish I was dead (dead, like you)

the poets never left todd alone that much post-neil (unpredictable, he was. better safe if ever). the times they did it was to give him space, or because it was physically impossible to be there with him. they take turns rooming with him at night, stolen bed sheets laid on the floor. they don't use neil's bed; it's sacred, it's to be left the same as it is before. todd's sobs synchronize with their soothing voices. and sometimes they start crying too, and that's when todd feels that he's not alone the most, ever since neil.

Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise No one compares to you I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise No one compares to you I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

todd's surrounding was suffocating. everything reminds him of neil neil neil neil neil. the door to their room, and every other room because their doors were identical. their room: on the first week, he slept on neil's bed, and then he slept on the floor for weeks until he felt okay enough to sleep on his own bed. if he closes his eyes hard enough, concentrates hard enough, he can hear himself and neil.

sorry it became a lyric analysis or whatever This is basically hyperfixation #1 + hyperfixation #2 it's great!!

#anderperry #dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson #im making a neil version of this soon when i get some sleep #Spotify

[sixstepsaway]

okay but mary and izzy parallels? i have a hunch about how they're supposed to -- well, be parallels. but no one's talking about it. thoughts? - ripple

hi ripple!! hope you're doing well!

There has been discussion of Mary/Izzy parallels but I haven't found a lot of meta about it. If you'd like to really be agonized, check out this gifset. Izzy and Ed with Mary's quotes over them. Mm. Pain.

But, as for my own thoughts on this:

Izzy and Mary are deeply paralleled throughout the show, both narratively (similar journeys) and contextually (the way the show is edited).

The first time this is really shown, as far as I can tell, is in 1x04. Stede is dreaming of Mary, remembering his highly failed marriage. He's dreaming of when he showed her the model ship of the Revenge, how passionate he was about it, how much he loved the idea of going away to sea. Mary's response is... not great, as she doesn't like the ocean and doesn't hate their lives, at least not as much as Stede does.

She doesn't get it.

The show immediately swaps to Ed rummaging through the Revenge while Izzy trails around after him trying to get him to focus on their lives. Ed produces the model ship and gushes about how cute it is.

Izzy doesn't get it.

The model ship is purposefully used to draw the two scenes together, to show Stede and Ed in their respective relationships (Stede with his rapidly failing and then abandoned marriage, Ed with his rapidly degenerating and soon to be abandoned work marriage (see: Izzy leaving in 1x06 and Ed leaving in 1x09)).

It's a fascinating parallel that I especially enjoy because Ed and Izzy aren't, in canon right now at least, in a sexual or romantic relationship, nor do we think right now they've ever been (I doubt they've ever been, truly. I don't think that's in their past at all), so the framing of Stede's marriage (lacking love and affection) against Izzy and Ed's platonic* relationship (full of love and affection but it's diminishing faster and faster every day) is gorgeous, because it shows that relationships aren't always the standard Person A + Person B in love and married and then they fell out of it and it was Bad because of that.

(*Yes, David Jenkins says Izzy is in love with Ed, and we all agree with him, but for the sake of the framing, the fact they're not doing anything with those feelings makes the relationship itself platonic)

I find in a lot of media, relationships are shown only as participating in the relationship escalator and no other relationships "count", and queer relationships are pushed into that same relationship escalator because enforcing heteronormativity even on queer relationships is essential (blah blah purity culture blah blah making being queer palatable to corporations blah blah sanitizing the queer movement blah blah)

(I remember when Chicago Fire did a storyline where Severide lost his best friend (who I'm pretty sure he was in love with, but she was a lesbian, and i digress) to an accident that took her life and he was absolutely destroyed by it. He ran off for a weekend in Vegas, where he met a woman who had recently lost her husband suddenly. They got drunk, got married, and he brought her home as his new wife and everyone flipped out because it seemed so stupid and she was surely not good and was playing him for a fool or something.

But in the end, they were married for a few months, never in love, but their brief relationship helped them both heal and they ended up going their separate ways. And I loved that, because not all break-ups or divorces have to be "failures", and not all relationships have to march up the endless escalator.)

It's nice to see a relationship posed in a way that isn't just the escalator and isn't just "oh yeah we dated once" or whatever. This is beside the point though lmao.

The contextual framing continues when Ed returns to the Revenge as well. Stede goes back to Mary, Ed goes back to Izzy. They go back to the familiar, the safe, and they're not greeted the way they'd like.

Mary makes sure Stede knows he's unwelcome now, though it's not because he's changed (although he has: drinking, attacking Doug etc) so much as that he left a gap and she filled it with someone else (someone better, in fact, for her, someone who can give her what she wants and needs and love her) in his absence (as she should).

Izzy meanwhile welcomes Ed back with open arms, but can't cope with his changes. Ed is softer, more vulnerable and open, and maybe if that had been how he was when they first met, that might have been okay. Izzy might have wormed his way into that vulnerability and made a nest there, a safe place for himself and a bit of armor for Ed, but as it stands right now he can't do that, because he doesn't know how and nor does Ed, and so instead he wants Ed to go back to how things were in the past.

But you can never go home again, can you?

That's sort of the base message of 1x10 imo: you can never go home again. Stede can't pursue his life of piracy and expect his family to welcome him home with open arms, and Ed can't soften up and abandon his life of piracy and expect Izzy to just adapt overnight and accept that new version of him.

(And it's unreasonable of either of them to expect those things from the other person. Izzy didn't sign up for a life with soft-n-squishy Ed, and Mary didn't sign up to be the woman waiting at port for her wayward husband to come home whenever he chooses.)

Narratively, Mary and Izzy are mirrored throughout the first season, primarily with Izzy and Mary being fully committed to the lives they've signed up for. Mary may be unhappy, but she tells Stede as much: she doesn't hate their lives, not enough to yeet them into the abyss, but they're the only lives they're going to get and this is their lot, so shouldn't they make the best of it?

Izzy might be struggling too, but he clings to Ed like a lifeline at all times, refusing to budge even when Ed's mental state gets so rickety he puts everyone around him in danger.

The difference is that when Stede leaves Mary, she flourishes. She finds someone better for her, she takes up painting, she loves her children without hesitation, she makes friends and extends her social circle. When Izzy is forced to leave Ed, he stagnates and his entire focus is on getting Ed back and keeping that promise he made, even if Ed doesn't want it kept anymore.

Mary and Izzy are on the same path, but Mary is miles ahead of him. Since I don't think we'll get Steddyhands or Blackhands in canon, I hope Izzy gets to reach the end of the path like Mary did, with someone who loves and deserves him, and a social circle that supports him.

Then, you have the main issue with Ed and Stede: lack of real communication, and massive failure whenever they try.

Stede tried when he told Mary he wanted to run away to sea, but she shot him down (fairly so, in my eyes), and so he never tried again.

Ed tries when he tells Izzy how bored he is, but Izzy is focused on the fact Ed's boredom is going to get them killed (fairly so, again), so Ed doesn't talk to him about how he's feeling about Stede in relation to that boredom.

Both of them talk around what they're actually feeling and considering doing, neither of them really talk about the problem and try to find a solution they just wildly yank the other person around like a dog with a toy, because they've always been there, so won't they continue to always be there?

I read Stede as having had a certain level of reliance on Mary. I believe they could be really good friends now their marriage is over, though I don't think they were before lmao. But the way wives were expected to act and be treated in 1717 implies she was likely doing most of the household work, raising the children etc. We don't ever see any servants I don't think, even in the background of the current day scenes in 1x10, and that makes me think Mary does most of it.

Which explains a lot about why Stede is a fucking mess when he first breaks free of that life and it reframes how he is as honestly how well he adapts and changes to fit in his new life! Assuming we go by Ed's, "these last few weeks" and assume the show to be about 10 weeks because of the season length (which I hate, thanks), he managed to stop being a complete mess in about five weeks and that's damn impressive. Kudos and cookies to Stede Bonnet.

I read Stede as autistic with some social deficits, which is why he's so... blunt, I suppose? It's also why he takes everyone around him at face value (if they say something is a way, he believes them, no matter whether they might be lying). I can imagine that during his marriage, Mary - who I do not read as autistic - was the one gingerly keeping him from being scammed or robbed or overtly lied to by people around him, and now he doesn't have her so he just has to learn for himself! And he does really well actually at that.

See also: him believing Pete about his prior time serving under Blackbeard. I too believe Pete, but let's not act like his stories don't sound like utter fabrications. Stede just... believing him, that Blackbeard has a head made of smoke and his eyes glow and that Pete served under him and was dubbed Black Pete for serving so well.

(Also, I know there's a running fandom joke about Pete calling himself Black Pete considering he's pasty white, but you've all realized it's a direct reference to Blackbeard right? He's saying Ed gave him the moniker of Black to echo his own!)

Meanwhile, as we've said before, Izzy has been shackled with being Ed's SSRIs, adderall and bullet journal for god knows how long, frankly, and without him Ed... does struggle. We don't see a lot of it because he has the Revenge crew filling the blanks and his fixation on Stede is also keeping him from sinking back into depression, but it's definitely there. He's supposedly acting as a co-captain in 1x07, but they run out of oranges. Calico Jack shows up and he just attaches to him like a barnacle and doesn't track that maybe he's being insensitive. It takes Lucius giving him a stern talking to twice for him to figure his shit out, and that's without any real dire consequences going on around him.

He also jumps right to running away to China which is objectively not a great plan for him or Stede, and Izzy absolutely would have said, "The fuck? You don't even speak Mandarin, Edward." to it.

He does okay without Izzy, likely because he's had more practice, but he definitely misses something that he's been reliant on Izzy for: a steadying hand and someone who spots the details he misses (like not knowing Mandarin and it being a leap year).

But whereas Mary gets loose of those shackles, Izzy desperately tries to get back into them because he doesn't know how to function without Edward and, frankly, Edward doesn't know how to function without Izzy either, not now his dopamine fix has run away.

When Mary tries to kill Stede when he comes back and ruins her life, Stede and Mary instead come up with a plan together to fix things, to set both of them free. They communicate, which allows them to work together, in a rather perfect harmony actually, and understand each other's needs and learn to care for one another outside of the shackles.

When Izzy tries to 'kill' this new version of Edward that's ruining his life (literally trying to un-pirate them all), Ed strikes out in return. Instead of working together, they break apart and fracture, two forces with differing needs that can't find a middle ground because the communication has broken down.

Like I say: Izzy and Mary are on the same road, but Mary is far further down than Izzy is.

The parallels truly kill me but they also give me some hope for the future when it comes to Izzy.

Currently Mary is 'best case scenario' and Izzy is 'oh my god what the fuck WORST CASE WORST CASE??? PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN EDWARD' but hey, maybe we can get there!

#ripple anon #ask #honestly i feel like i'm missing a lot of parallels #i need to rewatch again #izzy hands #mary allamby bonnet #stede bonnet #izzy hands meta #stede bonnet meta #mary allamby bonnet meta #edward teach #edward teach meta #ofmd #ofmd meta #our flag means death

[strawberrisoulmate]

Confrontation

repost of an old fic i wrote back in march of last year. i'm still super proud of it and wanted it on my new blog ♡ word count: ~5k ship: n/a (implied sigma x hannah) warnings: major spoilers for the ending of zero escape: virtue’s last reward. like. BIG SPOILERS. 

It had been a few hours since the conclusion of the Nonary Game. Everyone had made it to 9 points and escaped. But the joy and relief they’d felt upon opening the number 9 door was short-lived. Their delusional victory had been cut short, only to be met with a horrible truth about the world as they knew it. The deadly virus — Radical-6 — had spread across the entire world, causing what could only be described as the apocalypse. Complete and utter chaos filled the streets, piles of corpses around every turn, plant and animal life began to die out. 

Madness.

That’s what she thought when she heard it all. She didn’t believe it was possible for the world to just end like that. Last thing she remembered, she was on her way to school in a perfectly normal world. But to be told that the year was 2074, a full forty-five years after her last waking memory before she was brought to this place, it seemed impossible. 

But no matter how hard she tried to deny it, no matter how impossible it seemed, this was reality.

Now here she stood, in front of the closed door to the Director’s Office, fists gripping at her sleeves as she nervously bit her lip. Sigma, alongside Phi, had already left them all to travel back to the past in order to fulfill the mission set in stone by Zero Sr. and Akane Kurashiki. They’d said their bittersweet goodbyes, and as much as she knew why he had to go, it didn’t stop the tightening of her heart in her chest. Despite the plan being explained in great detail, and knowing full well that it had good intentions at its core, she couldn’t help but feel acrimonious to those who’d put them in this horrible situation. She blinked away the tears that had begun to form in her eyes and slowly raised her hand to the door.

The knock that followed was almost timid — more so than she’d intended. Her initial aim was to march straight into the office, stare Zero in the face, and demand to know why he had forced them all to suffer through this hell. Although she’d already received the basic explanation for why everyone had been brought to this facility, the answers had left her feeling unsatisfied, especially her own. Because of that, her resolve had solidified. She needed to hear it directly from Zero’s — from Sigma’s — mouth. 

The door opened silently, without waiting for a verbal cue from the other side allowing her to enter. But as she stepped inside, her eyes focused immediately onto the figure sitting alone at the desk. His back was turned to her, but she knew who he was. 

“Doctor Klim?”

The name felt foreign on her lips and addressing him as such made the hairs on her neck stand up. Even if this was Sigma, she knew that this wasn’t the same Sigma she’d gotten to know so well. Even if he shared the name, the Sigma sitting in front of her was virtually an entirely different person. 

The man’s position didn’t change when she entered the room, but he seemed to be listening, waiting for her to give her reason for wanting to speak with him. “Yes? What is it, Hannah?”

She frowned slightly when he didn’t stop his work to turn and look at her. His mannerisms felt cold and unfamiliar. “I… wanted to talk with you.” The hesitation was apparent in her voice, but even still, she continued nonetheless. “Is that alright?”

“Yes,” the man replied. “You came to discuss the results of the Nonary Game, is that correct? What do you plan to do now that it has ended?”

Hannah paused. Her eyes fell to the ground and wandered off to the side. “I don’t know,” she confessed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.” She sighed, bringing her hands together in front of her as she thought briefly about all of the events preceding the present moment. “I can’t go home, because there isn’t a home for me to go back to. The only thing I can do is stay here, but what’s the point in doing that? Am I just supposed to live here and be miserable for the rest of my life?” She felt the tears that she’d previously brushed away returning, stinging her eyes as she did her best to keep them from falling. 

“Why did you even bring me here in the first place?” the girl asked with a bite in her tone. “Almost everyone else has some important reason for being here, but why me? I’m not an esper with weird telepathic abilities. I’m not a part of some secret government organization. And I’m not a clone or a robot or whatever the fuck else!” Her attempt to hold back the tears had failed despite her best effort to hide them, and she felt her face grow hot. “I’m just… me. I’m just an art student trying to get by living on her own in a shitty apartment. I don’t have anything to do with the AB Project, or the Nonary Game, or Akane Kurashiki. So…” Her voice trailed off. “So… why…?”

There was a long silence. Hannah sniffled a bit, and quickly wiped her eyes, but even so, the tears kept coming no matter how much she tried to dry them. The doctor’s hand had stopped writing, but he remained quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Then, he slowly placed his pen onto the desk and turned his chair towards her. She didn’t look up to meet his eyes, but his expression was grim and he appeared tired. His hands folded gingerly in his lap and he took a long, slow inhale before speaking. 

“I’m uncertain that the answer I can provide you will be satisfactory,” Zero began. “But in simplest terms, I can only say that I wished to protect you.”

The girl’s shoulders stiffened a bit. “Protect me?”

“You are correct that every person was brought here to serve a purpose. Of course, Phi and the younger version of myself were the main contenders of this project. Their involvement was inevitable. Clover and Tenmyouji were included because of their unique abilities as espers to access the fourth dimension. Alice, because of her connections to the SOIS and knowledge of how to deactivate the bombs placed by Dio. Dio, even if he was unaware, because of his involvement with Free the Soul and the facility attempting to shut down the AB Project. K — or Kyle, in this case — because I needed to make sure that someone would be able to take over my work in the event that something happened to me. And Luna, a GAULEM of my own creation, to observe the actions of the players and to steer them in the right direction. She was included to make sure the game ran smoothly. Every participant had a role to play.

“Now, you may have noticed that a couple participants were left out of my explanation. Quark, for instance, had no connection to the AB Project either, as you mentioned. Why was someone so young and innocent brought into such a cruel environment? Simple. He was brought along for Tenmyouji’s sake. And not only that, he volunteered to come willingly. If Quark had been abandoned on Earth, Tenmyouji certainly wouldn’t have been able to focus on the game. His judgment would have been clouded, and he wouldn’t have been in the proper mindset to play his role in the game. And that would have drastically skewed the results, don’t you think? Not only that, Quark would most likely have died, had he been left alone on a dying planet. He may have been taken into a shelter to protect him from the virus, but the odds would have been stacked against him. The likelihood he would’ve survived is close to zero. As such, he was brought alongside Tenmyouji, in order to increase the chance of success of the game, and in turn, the AB Project as a whole. Does that all make sense?”

Hannah had stood there silently, listening to him speak, but even after such a long-winded explanation, her question had yet to be answered. She understood all of what he’d said, but she still didn’t understand why she had also been included. “It makes sense, but you didn’t answer my question. That explains why Quark is here, and the others too, but you still haven’t told me why I’m here.”

“For the same reason.”

“What do you mean?”

Zero sighed and turned back to his desk, but he didn’t pick up the pen to continue his work. Instead, he gazed up at the wall in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. He opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it again. Hannah could see the wheels turning in his head, as if he were trying to come up with a better way of answering her in a manner she’d understand. After a few moments, he spoke.

“Do you remember what you were doing on December 25, 2028?”

The girl paused. “You mean the day I was kidnapped?”

“Yes.”

She frowned, thinking back to the day that started it all. “I was running late to class. I had stayed up late the night before, studying for a test, and I overslept. I finally made it to school, and was about to run to class, but I didn’t get the chance.” She remembered how terrified she’d been, and how she had tried to fight and scream for help, but to no avail. She had been knocked out with the white gas, just like the other participants, and when she woke up, she was in the AB Room. The memory still haunted her. 

“Correct. You were marked absent for that class, and nobody had heard from you for the rest of the day. Your parents called the school after you didn’t come home. It was Christmas, after all.”

Her lip curled and her eyebrows knitted together. “Did you— er… the other version of you, notice that I was gone from class that day?”

“Not in the moment, no,” he said frankly. “I must admit I wasn’t the most observant in my younger days.” He leaned back in his chair, keeping his gaze locked in front of him. “My past self realized it after the fact, but in retrospect, it was ultimately my fault that you were taken to begin with.”

“So then, what does that have to do with why I was forced to play the Nonary Game?”

“You were brought here for the same reason that Quark was. Quark needed to be here for Tenmyuoji’s sake, while you needed to be here for Sigma’s.” The man stopped for only a second before continuing. “Or, I suppose you could say it was for my younger self’s sake.”

“For your sake…?” Hannah could only stare at the old man, trying desperately to decipher what he was thinking or feeling. She was kidnapped and brought to this hellhole and forced to play a cruel death game… for Sigma? She couldn’t figure out what that was supposed to mean.

Zero turned to look back at her. “You still don’t understand? Sigma — my younger self — wouldn’t have been able to complete his mission without you here. You needed to be a part of the game in order for him to fully awaken his abilities and reach his full potential. It’s because of your presence in the game that he is able to jump through time as frequently, and as freely, as he can.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! Why would my being here affect his ability to travel through time? I don’t have anything to do with that, so why would I have changed anything?” the girl snapped at him. “Clearly, you knew he had the ability in the first place, right? So he would’ve figured it out just fine without me!”

“That isn’t true.”

“What?”

“You are correct that he has always had the potential to awaken this ability; I realized this over the course of my studies. With the help of Akane Kurashiki, I was able to fully research the power to jump through worlds and how I could use that ability to prevent the spread of Radical-6 and the antimatter explosions that would throw the Earth into chaos. I spent decades pouring myself into that research, so that I would be able to one day save the world. 

“But I realized something else during that time. Over the course of those forty-five years, as I got further and further into my research, I began to have visions of the past and of the future. Flashes of memories from timelines that I had not visited began to appear in my brain, and then disappear as quickly as they’d come. As I studied more, these short bursts of memories became more frequent and some were slightly more long-lasting than others. I had determined that these were glimpses of the different worlds that my younger self had traveled to. I made note of them whenever they appeared, writing down whatever information I could remember before the memory faded away. It wasn’t long before I began to notice a pattern.

“In many of the sporadic memories that surfaced, you were almost always present.”

Those words hit her like a truck. She wasn’t exactly sure why they made her chest feel so heavy, but Hannah couldn’t ignore the feeling of her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t even tell what emotion the feeling represented. Without waiting for her reaction, Zero continued. 

“I wondered, at first, what made you so important, and extended my research to finding out whatever I could about you. I speculated that you might’ve had a connection to the espers who’d participated in the past Nonary Games, or that you had been involved with the SOIS alongside Alice and were seeking to take down the Myrmidons. I sorted through every possibility of why you had shown up in all of my past self’s memories despite not having known much about you beforehand. It was odd. No matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find any important connections that would link you to the project in any way. From what I could tell, you were just an average college student, or you were when the two of us first met. As such, I brushed it aside and resumed the development of the AB Project. 

“The glimpses of other timelines continued as well, and I continued to make note of them. What intrigued me most was that, even though most of the memories I had received revolved around the Nonary Game and the future of the AB Project, there were few that didn’t seem to fit in anywhere with my plans. Visions of my life having taken a completely different path entirely, as if Radical-6 never existed. Memories from worlds where I had continued my college life, gotten married, and had children of my own. Memories that seem so foreign to me now after all these years, but even still, they were memories of a life that I never got to live.”

The old man stopped to exhale, an expression of what Hannah could only interpret as regret read in his eyes, even if the rest of his mannerisms seemed stoic. She debated if she should say something to prompt him to keep going, or if she should wait for him to continue on his own. She decided on the latter, although it didn’t take him long to recover.

“Regardless, it was at that point that I knew there had to be something important about you. And when I pieced together other fragments of memories I had received, I determined that it would be in my, or rather, his best interest to have you participate in the game. That was my reason.”

Hannah blinked. The sudden ending of his explanation gave her a sense of whiplash. After so much buildup, she’d expected more to the answer than just “you seemed important”. In a quiet voice, she asked, “That’s it?”

He raised an eyebrow at her question. “I feel that was a quite thorough explanation, wasn’t it?” The man sighed, “I expected you might not be happy with the answer, but I’m not sure what else there is for me to tell you. I hoped that much would suffice.”

She shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. Why did I show up in your past self’s memories in the first place? And what about that suddenly turned me from some invisible nobody in your college class to a special guest contestant in your fucked up game?”

“You tell me why,” he snapped back. The sudden change in his tone made her jump back a bit, as if she were being scolded, but she recovered quickly enough. “You spent a great deal of time with my younger self in this Nonary Game, didn’t you? So why is it, do you think, that you were such an important piece of this puzzle? You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you can figure that out.”

Hannah thought through the events of the game. Of course, she knew that she and Sigma had spent a lot of time together, and that her feelings for him had only grown over that time. She remembered what he had told her right before he jumped back to the past and her heart ached.

Sigma, when you go back… promise you won’t forget about me?

Come on, don’t talk like that. There’s no way I would forget. I’m going back to fix all of this so that we can all live a better, happier life. And then, I’m gonna take you out on a real date, okay?

She brought a limp hand to her chest and held it over her heart. Her fingers loosely gripped at the fabric of her shirt and her eyes stung once more. It pained her to think about the fact that he was gone, and that she wouldn’t get to see the happier future that he’d hoped for. Maybe in another timeline, he had fixed everything and saved the world. Maybe in that world, they were together right now, living a happy life just like he’d promised her. But even if that were the case, she wouldn’t know it. She was stuck here, in this reality, trapped in a high-tech space station on the moon with no means of escape. She’d never know how things might’ve turned out had everything been different.

“Do you get it now?” Zero’s voice broke the silence, and the slew of thoughts swimming in her head. She nodded slowly, but didn’t give any indication that she was satisfied with that outcome. “He cared about you, more than either of you realized.. Your presence in this Nonary Game was crucial because that was his strongest motivator. Because he had seen countless timelines, with thousands of different outcomes, he understood that this was the only path that he could take in order to protect you. And so, you were brought here, so he could awaken his power to its highest potential. All so he could keep you safe.”

Regardless of if she understood the reason or not, it didn’t fix the hole in her chest. “What am I supposed to do now…?” the girl muttered, her eyes stuck on the floor. Her voice was barely over a whisper, and her expression had grown dark. 

“That is up to you. Whether you want to live your life here or return back to Earth is not my decision to make.”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair…?”

“Hm?”

Her hands tightened into fists. “If your past self really cared so much about me, then why did he abandon me here? Even if he does stop the spread of Radical-6 and save the world or whatever, where does that leave us? All of us here, in this timeline, don’t get that luxury. We’re stuck here forever. We don’t get to go back and try again. We don’t get a do-over. If he knew that was the case, then why did he leave me here to suffer this hell by myself?”

Hannah felt like they were just talking in circles at this point, and it wouldn’t change anything to cry and complain about their situation, but she couldn’t help feeling lonely and helpless. She knew it was selfish, but after everything they’d been through, she just wanted Sigma back. Even if they were trapped in this facility forever, with no hope of returning to their homes on Earth, she thought that maybe it would be bearable if he were here with her. If Sigma had stayed behind, then she wouldn’t have to live with this gaping hole in her chest. Even if the situation were dire and desperate, at least then, she could lean on him and he would tell her that they’d get through it together. She pulled her shaking arms around herself in a last-ditch attempt to console herself. Just as she was about to see herself out of the office, to run and hide in a corner somewhere where no one would see her cry, Zero spoke up again. 

“Do you know why I created Kyle?” he asked. The question seemed to be out of nowhere, and Hannah shook her head, still unable to look at him through her tears. “Kyle Klim, as you were made aware, is a clone of my younger self. His purpose was to serve as my spare, had anything happened to me in the process of developing the AB Project. Of course, he is a clone, but I did raise the boy from childhood, so I suppose his personality may differ quite significantly from my own. But physically, and genetically, we are identical. 

“Kyle was brought into the Nonary Game as a back-up, had Akane ended up murdered by Dio. If that happened, he was to take her place as a participant in the game. There were many timelines where that did indeed happen, and the one you all referred to as “K” was actually Kyle; however, because of my past self’s jumps through time, he was able to prevent that outcome in this timeline, and Akane’s life was spared. Because of that, Akane continued to be a participant in the game, under the guise of “K”, and Kyle was set aside, almost like he was put into storage, in case we needed him.” Zero turned his chair to face the crying girl once again. “Now, in this timeline, where Akane remains alive, we didn’t need Kyle to act as her stand-in. In that case, we could have just brought him back behind-the-scenes, along with Lagomorph — that’s Zero Jr. to you all — in order to observe the game. But there was another reason that we kept him sleeping in the treatment pod. Do you know what that other reason is?”

Hannah wiped her eyes and brought her gaze up to meet his. “N-No… I don’t.”

“You see, I anticipated the results of this timeline. After all, it was exactly what I needed to happen in order for our plan to be successful. I knew that, even if Phi and myself were able to awaken their abilities and jump back to the designated date, that the rest of you would be stuck here. It was, unfortunately, a necessary sacrifice if the project was to succeed. I’m aware that it leaves the rest of you in an undesirable position, and that there’s no way you all would be content with that, but even so, we needed to proceed this way. I knew you, in particular, would be unhappy with this outcome, and so, I kept Kyle on the sidelines as a means of… atoning, in a way.”

“Atoning…?”

“I was always aware that once my younger self’s powers fully awakened that he would have to abandon this timeline, and when that happened, he and my current self would switch places. That’s why, after he made the jump, I appeared here. Akane briefly explained the process to you all in the garden, didn’t she? Once Sigma or Phi makes a jump to the past or future, their consciousness is swapped with the version of themselves that they are jumping to. I made the first jump, once the details of the AB Project were finalized, bringing my younger self here. He and I switched places, essentially. And once the time had come for him to jump back, he and I switched once again.”

“That part, I understand… mostly. But, how is it ‘atonement’ to include Kyle in all of this?”

“As I mentioned before, Kyle and I are genetically identical. While I understand that it isn’t quite the same, I had postulated that if Kyle were here, it would make losing Sigma easier on you.”

“What?” The girl froze, confusion plastered clearly on her face. “You… brought him here… for me?” 

“That was only a partial reason overall, but essentially, yes.”

Hannah took a moment to process the information he’d just hit her with. It felt like she’d been punched in the gut with a sack of bricks. “You…” The concept itself was so simple, but for some reason, his easy explanation didn’t make it any easier to swallow. “Did you think I would just be fine with anyone as long as he had your face?” The words were out before she could stop them.

He sighed. “No, I didn’t think you would be. But it was all I could do to cushion the blow, so to speak. I know that you’re far more faithful than that, and that you wouldn’t come to accept my gesture so easily. Still, it was the only solution I could come up with. You can take it or leave it, of course, I wouldn’t force you to go along with such an idea. I only wanted to provide the option.”

She didn’t even know what to say. While, yes, Kyle had Sigma’s face, she didn’t know anything about him. When she looked at Kyle, she was only reminded of the time she’d spent with Sigma. Even if they looked the same, she could never bring it in herself to leave behind her memories of Sigma. And even if she were willing to do so, would that even be something that Kyle would want? Or would he just be ordered by Zero to fall in love with her, even if he objected? She dismissed the thought with a brush of her hand. That wasn’t an option. To think that he had even considered that she would do such a thing felt wrong; it made her stomach turn. 

But even still, she couldn’t bring herself to be mad about the suggestion. The man sitting in front of her was Zero Sr, that was an undeniable fact, but he was still Sigma. He had been the mastermind of this entire Nonary Game, had kidnapped them all, and forced them to compete in a game that would put all of their lives at risk. She should hate him. She should be enraged that this bastard was just living among them now as if nothing had happened. But despite all of that, she couldn’t feel angry; she simply felt defeated. Despite everything he had put them through, put her through, this old man was Sigma. And he had taken the time to not only figure out the best way to keep her safe through the literal end of the world, but also implemented a solution that would, in theory, soothe her loneliness and make living in this wasteland for the rest of her life somewhat bearable. He didn’t have to do so, but he did, out of consideration for her feelings, because he was Sigma. 

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma she’d met in passing so many years ago on her college campus and since felt her heart race at the sight of him.

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma that sat in front of her in class and got in trouble for cracking stupid jokes to his friend next to him while she doodled silly little love notes and daydreamed about what it’d be like if he asked her on a date.

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma who she recognized immediately upon waking up in this horrible Nonary Game and that she’d been paired up with to solve and escape multiple locked room puzzles with. 

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma who had made her heart shoot out of her chest when he kissed her in the AB Room and swore to her that he would never let anything happen to her, no matter what.

Even if this man wasn’t the same Sigma that she’d gotten to know over all this time, he still cared enough about her to do whatever he could to make sure she would be comfortable with this life. How could she be angry about that? 

She couldn’t find it in herself to say anything more to him. The girl quietly stumbled towards the door and placed a weak hand against the cold, metal frame. Her body felt drained, and it hit her that she hadn’t slept for over 36 hours. The adrenaline of the game had kept her going until now, but now that the game was over, all of her emotions, as well as her lack of sleep, caught up to her and weighed on her limbs like sandbags. She didn’t have the energy to argue or process any new information anymore. 

Right now, all she wanted to do was rest. 

And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t wake up.

#🌸 my writing #the future we create ⏳ #🌸 self insert | zero escape #this is still one of my favorite fics i've ever written #i know it's long but it'd make me happy if y'all read it <3

[procrastinova]

art summary 2022 vs art summary 2023

individual 2023 artworks below (plus some thoughts on them because why not. Said thoughts will include me critiquing some of the pieces, especially the ones from earlier in the year.)

also here's a link to all the artworks from my 2022 one if anyone wants to see them

JANUARY - Art piece i did right before For the Future aired of Luz and the rest of the hexsquad having a much-needed group hug. I didn't really look at any references for this one (apart from for the character's designs) so the poses look really awkward and stiff tbh 😭. That being said, I'm still glad I gave it a shot, and it looks a lot better than the one I did before Thanks to Them's release, since I was more used to drawing the characters.

I'm not going to go too much into some of the... questionable... anatomy choices I made, since they aren't exclusive to this artwork in particular, nor is this the worst example of them (*cough cough* my old King's Tide screenshot redraw).

Overall I think this is an okay art piece. Definitely could have been improved by actually using references for the pose though.

FEBRUARY - This one is actually another redraw of a REALLY old piece I drew in 2021. With my finger. Not a good combination to say the least. This one is miles better especially in terms of anatomy, facial expressions and composition.

That's not to say that it's without it's flaws. I do think that lining up Betty and Amber's poses better would have improved the overall look of the piece. Another thing that I did end up changing a little while after I drew this was removing the shine from the black parts of the mirror to make it look like it was actually cracked, which I didn't do in the original version (that one's on my scratch account if you want to see it). It's a subtle difference, but I think it makes the piece look a lot better.

Again, I think this is an okay piece overall. Looks like the mona lisa compared to the 2021 version, but honestly I think anything would.

MARCH - Yet another Owl House artwork (bet u guys cant guess what my favourite tv show is). This one I created for a zine which I was working on for my multimedia class (this artwork in particular was supposed to be an advertisement for the finale). You can kinda tell I still wasn't that confident in drawing King, since his pose is pretty stiff (I don't think I ever really got used to drawing him tbh).

I do think this piece would have benefited from some more shading and lighting that wasn't the singular multiply layer I placed over the characters then erased some parts of. (There is some other shading but there's no other lighting).

Most of the other issues I have with this pieces are just issues I have with my old art in general so I'll leave it there.

APRIL - This is the last Owl House artwork I promise. I made this one for Zeez Vov Gee 2's watching and dreaming art contest. I actually do still quite like this one, which might partly be to do with the fact that I really like all of the character's timeskip designs, but whatever.

Some of the proportions on the hands are a bit weird, and I REALLY wish I put the shading on the lineart as well, considering how light of a colour it is.

One thing I do really like which I didn't notice while I was drawing it, is the pose Luz and Amity are in forms a sort of heart shape, which is really adorable akdjfhskhdf ;w;

Anyway, overall a pretty good piece, might remake it later. Who knows 👀

MAY - as you may immediately be able to tell, I did not make that much art in May (I might've had a few tests on at the time. Or I was just lazy). This one is actually OC art for once (wow shocking never seen before).

It's kinda just a doodle/a more doodley art piece, but it's pretty alright. I actually really like the pose that Robyn (the OC in the drawing) is in. This is also kinda the first time I drew their design, so yeah. The background isn't great, but I can't really expect that much from a doodle -v-

overall, pretty decent doodle. (for anyone wondering if I'll ever post more about Robyn... maybe? I'm mainly using their story for writing practice, but I think I posted something from it on here)

JUNE - June was literally the polar opposite of May. I'm not kidding, there were like 3 artworks that I was debating putting for June (this one, some deltarune fanart and a TOH screenshot redraw). I eventually went with this one because HOLY CRAP am I proud of that background.

This one was really heavily influenced by cartoon backgrounds (in particular ones from Gravity Falls and Hilda), and while I do think there are a few things that could be improved (like some of the trees), this was the first time in a while that i'd tried drawing a background that wasn't grass and a couple of trees (and i think the first time ever that i'd done something this complex).

I think another reason that this one turned out so good is that it was a birthday card for a friend. And if there is anything that I am constantly trying to do better at every time I redraw it, it's birthday cards (probably bc they're for my friends, love you guys sm /p).

anyways, overall a really good piece, 11/10 background.

JULY - behold... the first artwork I posted on Tumblr! I drew this shortly after seeing Across the Spiderverse in cinemas (which I have to say was one of the greatest experiences of my life).

I wanted to mess around with lineless art a bit on this one, as well as sort of try to give it a watercolour feel like earth-65. And I gotta say, I think it turned out pretty good. Though I did spend a good 15 minutes looking for references because ATSV wasn't out digitally yet ;w;

overall, I like this piece, I tried something new and I made fanart for the greatest movie of all time (in my opinion)

AUGUST - I don't think I drew nearly enough Omori fanart when I was super into the game, so I'm making up for it now. I wanted to redraw one of my favourite photos from the photo album for this one.

I probably could have put a bit more detail into the background for this one, but I really like the warm lighting, and the dappled light effect that I used for the characters. The lineart is also a bit sketchy, but I was (and sort of still am) in the process of figuring out how I actually want my lineart to look.

overall, I really like this one, nice colours, nice lighting, has the omori characters being happy in it :]

SEPTEMBER - like in May, I didn't get as much Art Stuff TM done, so it's just a doodle of some of my OCS (except this time it's Copper, Lapis and Peg, who I have posted about before).

I kinda just wanted to draw something cozy, so I didn't put too much effort into the background and stuff. One thing I will say, is that I wish I drew them looking a bit older, since they are all 16-17 lol.

overall, this one's ok. Could be better, but it's just a doodle.

OCTOBER - ohohohohoho we are SO back. Yet another birthday card. I love the perspective and poses on this one (because, you guessed it, I used references for them). Everything about this artwork was really fun to draw (especially the characters).

Overall, really good artwork, 11/10

NOVEMBER - redraw of an artwork from 2021 part 2: electric boogaloo. I remember being so proud of the original artwork, so I wanted to make this one an artwork I was proud of too (which was a success).

One of the main things I wanted to do for this one was to actually draw a background, instead of getting one off google. The one I drew was simple, but I think it really works, because I wanted the focus to be on the character, not the background. I also added some slight perspective to the drawing to make it look a bit more interesting.

Overall, amazing, especially compared to the original

DECEMBER - and finally... December's artwork! Aka my banner. I wanted to do something kinda simple for this, because I'm probably going to redraw it or make a new one later. I really like the contrast between the colours in the foreground (which is supposed to be inside a train, but it's kinda hard to tell), and the background.

Also something I've started doing for a few artworks is making a duplicate of the artwork, blurring it slightly and lowering the opacity, which makes it look a lot more visually interesting :0

overall, love this one, good artwork to end the year off with :] (i'll prolly still draw more stuff tho)

(fun fact - I was going to put the redraw I did of the 'get in loser we're going shopping' scene with the characters from TMC for December because it's the highest quality meme i've ever made but it looked weird next to the other ones bc it was in black and white 😭)

#art evolution #art improvement #my art #nova.txt #long post #like seriously long post i should not be allowed to ramble about this much stuff sorry guys

[astralartefact]

My Entry for the DOD3 10th Anniversary Countdown! featuring Five P. Sullivan and uncensored Four Wazowski

I had a lot of fun with the process so I put together some of my sketches and thoughts below the cut!

I still wonder if we would have gotten a promotional Intoner Idol Unit if DoD3 came out a few years later... Because the Intoners are definitely at least Idol-adjacent (i know i know they're directly based on Madoka so it's actually a magical girl thing - trust me, i know) but those purely promotional short lived Idol Units (like in Girlish Number if anybody remembers that anime) weren't really a thing until years later... Were we robbed...? I mean SaitoP probably would have just had Gems Company do it so who knows.

But also I think in that case they might actually have went with the original DoD4 Pitch so they could make the intoners an actual Idol Unit in-game and tie it more directly into the story... (I still would love to see what the DoD4 pitch would have looked like in practice. really keeps me up at night.)

Anyways. All that to say that's why they're an Idol Unit.

Since I love when Idol Albums go hard on a theme I decided on a parade/marching band theme relatively quickly in the spirit of commemorating and celebrating this milestone. The outfit designs are heavily inspired by X's outfit from Caligula 2. Which I haven't played but the music is good. (Also, Zero's thing is supposed to be a whistle nestled in a flower not the Pokémon Glimmet)

Also I made Idol signatures for them bc that's my secret passion

Btw I'm not really into the -zaka46s of the Idol World but I was really tempted to just redraw some of the Sakurazaka Covers for this because some of those (specifically some of the alternate Nobody's Fault and Ban covers) are very Drakengard 3 coded.

Because those also always seem to have at least 5 alternates for the same release I was also thinking about doing 2 additional alternate covers (the one above was originally going to be an alternate just with 5+4+1=10) and i even sketched an idea i had for the original main one out:

but i don't know, i don't hate it, but i didn't feel it either. Maybe it was the horrible realization that i would have to draw multiple instruments, maybe it was how badly I fucked up one's arm in the sketch but I just... didn't want to continue it so I changed plans and ended up with what you saw above.

Btw I wanted to Mike Wazowski Four from the very beginning that was going to happen regardless because that's a) what she deserves and 2) it was Five's day and that's exactly what Five would dol!!! Like I love Four, she's one of my favorite Intoners, but you always have to portray Four at least a little bit pathetic. That's her entire thing! (I think it ended up looking more like I'm holding her face hostage until 19/12 like it's an patreon exclusive instead of looking like one of those stickers japanese cd packaging often have, but eh I still think it's funny)

I also think Utahime 5 is a better sounding name than Utahime 6 but I crumbled to the pressure of knowing that somebody would complain about it.

Anyways. The inspiration for the version I arrived at was actually Bish's Zutto Music Video (specifically the shot at 2:46) and wouldn't you know it Bish is also pretty Drakengard 3 coded and since I love that shot and it's kind of Five's vibe especially with the Yellow Shopping Cart I just based the entire thing on it - it just fit an album with her as the center really well and if there is one thing that I like more than out there themes for an Idol Album/Single it's when they also have out there centers - so I guess I got lucky getting Day 5 so I had even more reason to center this piece around Five!

Anyways, Happy 10th Birthday Drakengard 3! I love you <3 Thanks to the other artist for their great works (it's been great waking up and seeing 2 new pieces of DoD3 Art every day!!!) and of course also to the organizers of the Countdown for doing the hard work of putting this together!!! Also, I love these girls. I do think about them more often that I should, even after all of these years.

#drakengard #drag on dragoon #drakengard 3 #dod3 #yoko taro

[your-greatest-queen]

On the verge of a full mental breakdown this morning because of how high my eco-anxiety is and absolutely nobody is taking me seriously

These are from March a few years ago:

These are from November a few years ago:

And of course December:

I live in Canada. Y'know, the Great White North.

These images are showing winter, yeah, but it's not strong. I'm only 18, I was born long after changes started happening to this environment. The winters my grandparents remember are not the same as my parents, and so far off from mine. But the changes were slower then. Less noticed.

The winters of my childhood were freezing. -23°C on a warm day. You'd spend the whole day outside in -25° if the wind wasn't too bad. I noticed the first change, the first major one anyway, when I was roughly 14. I walked outside with no jacket. Just my hoodie and my slippers. It was late December. I think it was Christmas Eve actually. I wasn't cold in the slightest. That should have sent me running back inside, red and chilled to the bone. But I was fine. I could have stayed out there for hours with no issues. I was shocked, but brushed it off as a nice day.

It's been four years and I have noticed every small change since then.

Today, it is December 7th, 2023.

It is currently +2°C outside. The high today is supposed to be +6, with the low only hitting -7 at night.

And this was this morning:

Rain.

I've seen freezing rain in my life. The water comes down hard and sharp as it freezes mid air. It can cut you if you walk through it and it's coming down especially hard. It leaves the roads slick with black ice and everyone gets their salt ready.

This rain was normal, everyday rain. But even then, it was wrong. Rain in July can chill you to the bone. This rain? Not quite warm, but not cold either. It fell all night and all morning. It was coming down hard enough that I would have brought an umbrella, had we not packed them into summer storage two months ago.

And it hasn't frozen. There are puddles everywhere without a hint of ice.

I wore a light coat, not done up; breathable sneakers; no hat; no gloves; no scarf; and I got soaked with rain. And I wasn't even cold.

I never once got to have a cool Halloween costume as a kid because you always had to cover them with a full winter coat. In October.

It's December and we have no snow, it's raining, it's nice outside- the skies are dull and days are short. Those are the only two things that are normal. Even the trees haven't fully lost their leaves.

I wanted to scream about it, but I hoped to settle for talking it through with... Anybody. To point it out to my friends and have them understand my anger and sadness and admit that they feel it too-

But no. Everybody is happy about it.

"oh well, guess we'll have a brown Christmas"

"this is great! Nice weather for a change!"

"we deserve this after always having to deal with -50!!" *(our record low is -54, this is an exaggeration. We usually don't go much lower than -40)

":D"

"Sweet!"

-

I just. I feel like my heart is going to explode and my lungs are gonna collapse and I'm. I don't know. I've been yelling about the climate crisis for years and nobody has ever once listened to me. I get brushed off every single time and it's driving me crazy that nobody can see the gravity of the situation.

New Viking artifacts are being discovered in rapidly melting glaciers and everybody is thrilled and I'm just here sobbing about it. I would happily never learn the small details of the past if it meant our planet was okay. "Yeah, this is a tragedy, but at least it's given us something super cool now!" NO. I know historians and all them are thrilled, and I'm happy for them, but I'm distraught. I don't care how cool that is, it doesn't lessen the pain or anxiety I feel. What good is any of that info gonna do for the world if everything on our planet is dead.

I'm gonna probably go have that mental breakdown now actually- thanks for reading my rambles, and sorry if I just worsened your eco-anxiety too :( this post wasn't ever going anywhere, I just needed to like. Put this into words, Idk.

Until next time, I guess 👋

#climate crisis #climate change #eco anxiety

[adultswim2022]

Clerks #1: "Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has an Important Decision to Make" | ‎February 20, 2001 (DVD) | Unaired Premiered on Adult Swim November 14, 2008 @ 11:00PM

Clerks began airing on Adult Swim in late 2008. I don't recall it lasting a very long time, but it lasted longer than I remember; they showed it pretty frequently in 2009, taking it on and off the schedule here and there, and then they also aired it in 2010 for one last hurrah.

Clerks was retroactively retitled Clerks: The Animated Series, which makes sense. I still like calling it Clerks for some reason. The show was supposed to air on ABC. Some of it did air on ABC, but most of the episodes made their debut on DVD. They also aired on Comedy Central in 2002. I always remembered this as a Comedy Central acquisition more than an Adult Swim one, personally.

In 2000, I was solidly a Kevin Smith fan. I'm still sheepishly a Kevin Smith fan; It's not that I think he's making good movies, it's just that I feel compelled enough to watch them, which I think is a bare-minimum definition of what a fan is. I was very excited for this show, and I even taped the Super Bowl just to record the one Super Bowl commercial it had. I also made the show appointment viewing for it's two episodes. I was kept abreast of the show's production via various View Askew fan sites and forums I checked regularly. Goddamn, I was a fucking loser.

My Kevin Smith journey was this: was intrigued by Clerks after seeing trailers for it on various non-R-rated movies I rented as a boy. I also recall seeing Siskel and Ebert review it. Was way too young to see it, and I was tad too young for Mallrats, too. But those movies left an impression as I looked up to the Gen-X definition of cool, and aspired to be that thing one day. At the height of my MTV watching, I saw the hour-long Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Video Stash special, where Kevin Smith and company watched goofy 80s videos and made fun of them with his friends, and they played the newly commissioned Jay & Silent Bob MTV promo spots throughout the show. This was the first View Askew production I ever saw. The idea that these guys made movies together and they were all somehow interconnected with one another finally sunk in.

I got my hands on the Jersey trilogy. Beholden to what the handful of video stores had on hand, I remember renting Mallrats first, then Clerks, then Chasing Amy. I spoiled Dogma by reading the screenplay online. Then there was this: A fucking prime time cartoon! Kevin's march towards mainstream legitimacy was progressing nicely. Maybe my mom will become a fan?

As the story goes, the show was considered a disaster by ABC. They only aired two of the six episodes. They didn't air this episode, but they did air the second episode, which heavily references this episode. According to the DVD commentary, the plan was to air this one fifth, which is why there's a text crawl that explains that it's the lost pilot to Clerks, and that there will be a much better episode next week.

This episode isn't all that great; it's one of two that I consider especially weak. The plot is: Leonardo Leonardo (voiced by Alec Baldwin) arrives in town and opens up a new "Quicker Stop" across the street from the Quick Stop. This one does have some funny stuff in it; my favorite gag is Dante and Randal's dedication to The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer, a short-lived (in the real world) sitcom that in the world of Clerks is appointment television and a monster success.

Notable things in this episode include the defanging of Jay and Silent Bob, who now sell fire-crackers. There's also obviously no swearing, but there's some coarse language that wouldn't fly today. Not only do they say "re-re" but they also say "retarded", and "queer" (as a pejorative; one of the weirder instances of a show showing it's age because "that word is actually good now"). There's also one of my favorite gags; the end of the episode has a tacked-on, "Safety tips" segment featuring Jay & Silent Bob. Jay dashes off the line "if Silent Bob could talk, he'd tell you--" right after Silent Bob speaks normally. I loved shit like that.

In general, the sense of humor this show had was very indicative of the sense of humor I had in 2000, and still mostly have today. A lot of the jokes are deconstructive of sitcom humor. The resolution to this episode is vague and absurd, and comes because Dante and Randal copy it from Desmond Pfeiffer. The episode they watch is about a rival opening up a bigger and better "White House of the future" across the street from the white house. I still love that joke!

#adult swim #adultswim2022 #clerks

[thissugarcane]

qaf rewatch notes to self, 1x14

Tragically, not much of this rewatch is inspiring me to finish my S3 fic. I should probably be rewatching s4 to get in the groove and set up what's To Come. but! but!! :(

next up "a change of heart", aka The One Where The Seventeen Year Old Fixes Everything For The First Time, But Not For The Last.

(also, tagged it "brian&mikey" because I rambled on about their friendship for a while. idk. wish I could tag it brian/justin, but they hardly interact much! they're just, cute in the background. oh, britin *hearteyes*)

before the ep starts: I like how... complicated. this show makes Justin's willingness to use his body and use sex to get what he wants. It isn't judged, it isn't suggested that by doing so, Justin's made the wrong decision (in the situation, or for himself). But Randy Harrison really plays Justin's inner conflict so well. Every time I watch an ep where Justin's using sex for gain, instead of just because he wants it, I'm always left wondering whether he regrets it, whether it's an Issue for him, or whether it's just another thing he did.

Okay, let's talk about Cynthia. She's a great executive assistant, and she knows enough about Brian to know that he plans South Beach and she needs to book the gay mecca hotel. Not only that, but when Ryder comes in to Talk Serious, she doesn't hesitate to clap her folio closed and march out wiwth nothing more than "if you'll just excuse me for a minute".

Cynthia might be one of the few people in Brian's life who sees him. Not for the persona he projects -- not totally -- but for the ambition he has, his dedication and his drive. You know... is the next person that really "gets it". Could it be Jennifer in S4 when she shows him the bathhouse for his new agency?

Mikey saying "I told you so" is like. Brian's follies is what makes Michael feel better, ugh.

Like the relationship is totally understandable and realistic and no one's fault -- Brian was larger-than-life, gave Michael both a hero and someone to point at and say "at least I'm not him" all at once, while Michael gave Brian safe harbour and someone to point at and go "no matter what at least he thinks I'm amazing, at least he loves me". But what started out as symbiosis grew into something that choked them both -- and it began when Justin and Gus showed up.

I don't think it's fair of people to say that Michael wasn't happy with the way things were, or that Brian was shitty to him -- Michael obviously got A LOT out of his friendship with Brian, not least of which was a perfect fantasy relationship that he never actually had to deal with or find out wouldn't work. And I still think that, until Justin and Gus... they both would have been relatively content to keep to what was working.

Except between becoming a father and realizing that there was an end date to clubbing... Brian knew he had to fill that hole inside himself with something else. And as Brian started to look for other things (aka Justin), what Michael got from him (an untouchable hero and a reliably shitty friend) changed. So Michael got mean about it because Brian changed the rules. Brian wasn't supposed to care about other people, because then Michael's life was full. Brian wasn't supposed to have a heart, because then Michael couldn't be guilt-free about heaping all his petty jealousies and hurts onto Brian.

Conversely, Michael wasn't supposed to pull away from Brian (e.g. David), because then Brian wouldn't have anyone he was sure of. IDK. I find Michael&Brian fascinating and understandable -- especially in S1 (and funnily enough in S5 as their friendship breaks down). But it's sad, too.

okay, as for the ep--

Brian offering genuine encouragement to Ted about Emmett-- "we'll be your workout buddies" "we'll spill drinks on you" is similar to the way he pulls Emmett onto the dance floor in 3x14 to encourage Emmett to let go of Ted. At first glance it looks like he's making light, but really, he's trying the only way he knows how.

*skips emmett and his girlfriend*

David: "that better not be who I think it is". and then it's ted telling michael about how brian's worried about losing his job. Prediction: David says Michael's not allowed to keep Brian in his life. "Promise me that you won't involve yourself in his problems." ugh. Bet he wouldn't say that if it was Emmett. >:(

Note to self: Ted thinks that "with the way he spends? [Brian would last without a job] two months, tops." This is relevant to fic.

Mel and Brian at lunch about her representing him in the sexual harassment suit: I love how as they're following the server, Mel's all "you fuck up my life, ruin my relationship and you have the gall to ask me to represent you?" and yet, she still walks to the table and sits down as if having the meal together is like, duh, of course they're gonna eat lunch together. It's hilarious how much she doesn't like him... and yet.

Also, I like how Brian doesn't disagree he's got it better than any woman or person of colour.

"How many tricks do you have a month?" "I dunno, twenty, thirty." That's not even one per night -- so Brian does have nights without sex. Let's assume he's at Babylon Thursday-Saturday without fail (unless work is real busy). And he's at the gym probably 4-5 times a week. He probably goes to Woody's a couple of weeknights, and stays home the other 2-3. (He does trick off the internet sometimes.)

Also Mel's "look, not that I give a shit about saving your ass, but it might be amusing to have you indebted to me for the rest of your life" is also nowhere near as mean as it could be.

is this just me looking for evidence that, if things were different, Mel and Brian could be friends? or-- at least, civil acquaintances? Yeah.

damn, now I want the AU where Mel never met Lindsay, and she ends up being in-house counsel at Ryder/Vangard, then when he gets fired for the Stockwell mess, she quits and helps him. THAT would be great. She'd still be like "what a terrible life you lead", BUT. It wouldn't be personal, because his life wouldn't affect hers personally. If they just went out for work drinks, maybe work lunches, and occasionally saw each other at Woody's / for brunch with friends.

Justin's incredulous disdain for Deb and Vic's joy at the small things in life is HILARIOUS. oh justin, you're such a snob. Also, he works almost as hard at his homework / is almost as dedicated as Brian is.

How is this the first time Justin's hearing about the harassment suit? I guess he's been studying for the SATs. Also Justin's annoyance at Michael refusing to do anything is hilarious.

Mel and Ted watching art house cinema is also great. They're such good friends. And Mel's complete offense and outrage at the see the light bullshit is even more great.

"I figure I can survive hitting the clubs five times a week instead of six" -- so here Brian claims he goes clubbing six times a week. Could be sex clubs, could be Babylon. Could be an exaggeration. Could be sometimes when he goes to Babylon he doesn't pull (because he doesn't want to).

Michael calls the loft "your home!"-- in 4x01 Brian calls it "four walls and a floor. and, expensive italian fixtures..." and Justin points out "It's where we made love for the first time."

"if it does [come to selling the loft] I'll just get a rich sugar daddy like the doc". I want that AU, where Brian -- either now or earlier -- can't get ahead in his career and sells himself out to a sugar daddy. There's lots of escort Brian stories, but none where he's a kept boy. hahahah.

brian and michael being absolutely TERRIBLE playing at woody's just goes to prove: Brian isn't absolutely against doing shit to fuck up his reputation. he just has to be very very drunk first. *g*

So, let's talk about how Justin's just. In the loft the morning after this little battle of the bands at woody's. Did Brian call him up, tell him to come over? Did he drop by in the morning? It seems more likely he dropped by in the morning right?

goddamnit, the more I watch this show the more I want all these little in-between parts! I'm not writing another "all the parts canon-missed" 100k story, but!!

...if I was, it'd be the D/s AU that starts in s1 and fixes them falling apart in s2...

fml. no. no. first: finish sws. then: S4 and S5 canon-divergence. then, maybe, that.

so I paused it on Justin and the blender and let me tell you, that body is hot enough to make brian break all the rules. jesus, randy harrison, you're ethereal, beautiful, and hotter than hell. it's enough to make me want to be a gay man too

randomly, who let Lindsay dress Gus in that hideous hand-knit outfit?

Aww, hungover Brian leans against Justin's thigh.

Lindsay asking Brian for money after she JUST BLAMED BRIAN FOR MEL LEAVING-- I'm so glad Justin is offended on Brian's behalf for that. and after he gives her the money that's when she's affectionate and lets him kiss gus.

Vic and Justin are the only two in this bar scene that aren't moping or otherwise being a bitch. Also, Vic's "if Emmett doesn't have the guts to be gay, then I say, 'fuck'im'!" -- Brian deeeefinitely learned that from Vic.

Kip drinks Stoli. of course he does. amateur.

I wonder if Brian comes back to David to convince David to stop giving mikey shit is because he knows that it won't work. Like, Brian knows that no matter what David does he's not going to stick around.

UGH THE STRAIGHT SEX UGH THIS IS SO-- peter paige is such a good actor.

is... is emmett's perfect man blond?

Justin follows Kip into the very same alley. This must be somewhere on church. Note to self: you can hear Babylon so the alley must be next to it.

Justin: "I'd never fall for his shit". hahahaha just gotta drill that knife in a little deeper, huh? Because Kip did sort of fall for it, he fell for Brian's praise of his work, and asked him to dinner. And yeah, it might have been all a ploy, but he definitely thought Brian's reactions were real.

Is the first time Emmett has sex with a woman? I'm going to go with... yes.

Aaaand, back to Justin and Kip. Does Justin decide that the way to deal with coming onto Kip is to be aggressive, is that just his natural way with guys who aren't Brian... or did he read Kip well enough to know Kip wants to be on his knees?

Justin's evil side, good lord. He's like-- he's like. the opposite of Lindsay in his evil side. She's manipulative and a liar but think she's innocent, plays the one that's never wrong and can't possibly be at fault / the one controlling things. Justin feigns innocence but really, knows exactly what he's doing. I would argue it's one of the things he didn't learn from Brian, because he was like that in the pilot. *g*

Brian saying "thanks" to Mel = just another way he's willing to be genuine when people are genuine with him! Same with Mel's "I know" and her real smile at him. Like, they both acknowledge that even though they aren't the best of friends (or friends at all), they do have something in common and do respect each other (in specific ways). And that this matters.

Ryder's completely blase about the case now it's dropped-- Brian should have learned not to trust Ryder, at this point. Clearly Ryder didn't give a shit about Brian -- put him on unpaid leave without a second thought -- and then literally says "damned if I know [what happened] and who the hell cares?"

Mel's so offended lol, and Brian's just like, "what, is it my fault? I didn't do anything!"

Ted's speech: it doesn't hit quite as hard for me as it does to a lot of other people -- I know the showrunners/writers say it's their favourite moment in the whole show. And I appreciate that... and also, every time I watch it I'm so so grateful I grew up with atheist parents.

Note to self: the speech also suggests that Ted grew up pretty christian and has already struggled with (and resolved) these questions? Like I guess Emmett didn't really resolve the questions he had growing up in a (assumedly) Christian southern household? Wait, where did Ted go to university again?

Ugh, david. Just because you have a nice house...

listen. David should have picked up a younger twink to protect and control and adore; it would have made a lot more sense and he would have been a lot happier. and like, he says "no, I don't feel like going out, so you go." as if michael needs david's permission. god, david really does want a sugar baby. why doesn't he just. like. get one?

Mel and Ted at Babylon-- very obvious mel fits in better at the gay club than the baby shower. Mel! get down with your bad self! don't get caught by lindsay's baby fever!! *sigh*

BRIAN AND JUSTIN! BRIAN CELEBRATING AT BABYLON! BRIAN ONLY HAVE EYES FOR JUSTIN *screams*

Heather: yet another lesbian that Mel connects with BETTER THAN LINDSAY. jesus.

a small but annoying moment: Emmett puts down a half-ful cosmo. for one thing, you never put a drink down and then keep drinking it at a club, so that drink's dead. so why didn't emmett finish it?? it always bugs me when they put drinks down at babylon half-finished. a cosmo at a club like that probably cost upward of $15 even in 2000. gulp that fucker down! *g*

BRIAN AND JUSTIN DANCING TOGETHER LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T EXIST *DIES*

also this end-credit song is one of my favourite club tracks from this season

#queer as folk us #brian&mikey