#man i wish i could sleep

[hungrymentor]

Had a coffee a full 12 hours ago and now doomed to be awake till dawn

Vs

Had four energy drinks and took two long naps yet still went to sleep at a reasonable hour

#i am both of these #these are me #coffee was today #energy drinks were three days ago #tell me how and why please #is it because im #neurodivergent #yes #probably #coffee #energy drink #i need sleep #no sleep #sleep #man i wish i could sleep #it was caribou coffee to be exact #the best fucking coffee #but im biased #i used to work there

[pink-car]

not the Horrors but the Sorrows

#man i wish i could sleep #kinda realizing the not being able to sleep recently thing might be like. A Thing. #daniel updates

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

-

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

#i talk #QSMP talk #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I FOUND IT #I wrote this post TWO MONTHS AGO #MAYBE LONGER!!! #I had clips and links prepared but I have no idea where those went #I'm not gonna bother saving this as a draft and risk losing it again #I have nearly 70000 drafts on my main blog but by some miracle this got saved in my art blogs' drafts instead #than the stars #Anyways. Leo was killed by a whale a few days later because Foolish was in the bathroom lmao #''powerful god-adjacent man who bends the laws of the universe'' vs. ''man whose entire life is a series of sitcom episodes'' #I still really want to write out that ''QSMP genre'' thought I had ages ago. It's still relevant and always will be relevant #but anyways #I wrote this months ago on very little sleep but DANG. It's a banger. #I miss writing analysis stuff I wish I was in a headspace where I could do this more like I used to #QSMP analysis

[silverskye13]

I had a dream last night that me and Docm77 were trapped in a warzone and he tackled me to the ground to save me from gunfire and then together we took out like ten guys.

I'm sure this says something about my psyche and that something is that if I ever met Docm77 in real life I think we would commit war crimes.

#spazzcat barks #docm77 #i.... dont know where the dream came from #maybe ive been?? reading too much Iliad lately??? i dont know???? #anyway thank you docm77 from saving me from being dream murdered by a bunch of guys with machine guns and rifles #we were definitely on the wrong side of the warfront we shouldnt have gotten seperated from the main body of reinforcements like that #he did jumpscare me though he was standing quiet and still as a statue #im guessing because he was hoping we wouldnt be spotted #and when we were he tackled me in a very Foxy from FNAF style jumpscare #also i blame his freaky redstone eye for us not successfully hiding that thing glows in the dark man youve gotta do something about that #anyway welcome back to: every time i sleep for more than 5 hours a night i have #violent dreams and nightmares that both god and man wish they could study under a microscope

[polteergeistt]

Sleep Token did the thing again

(being an unexpected banger hitting hard like it's the first time I listen to them even if i've been listening to them on repeat for the past 8 months)

#WON'T YOU SHOW ME WHAT IT'S LIIIIKEEEEE #CUZ THESE DAYS #I DOULD BE LYING IF I TOLD U THAT #I DIDN'T WISH THAT I COULD BE UR MAN #ORRRR MAYBE MAKE A GOOD GYRL BAD #sleep token

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep - The Land of Departure

#kingdom hearts birth by sleep #khbbs #land of departure #scenery #my gif #man... i really do wish we could have spent more time in this world and learned more about the characters' lives here #it's very beautiful with a big castle but it's also very desolate #almost as if no one else lives in this world #no sight of any towns in the distance even when viewing the world from space #vanitas describes it as a tiny world so i think it's safe to assume there really isn't much of anything past those mountains #it could have to do with eraqus's vehement hatred of darkness so he raises his pupils in such a sheltered environment #as a means to 'protect them' #he does suck as a master honestly #so what's up with this place anyway? #the architecture is reminiscent of scala ad caelum but is it because eraqus modeled it after his home town or is there more to it? #in the fourth gif with the flags there's a bridge that you can't fully see but it's destroyed and doesn't lead anywhere #not that there's any land across from it that it could even lead towards #it raises a lot of questions... #i could be looking too far into things but it's fun to speculate #haha jonathan you read my essay

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso

#half asleep making these istg #yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better #old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴 #he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed #i certainly am rn #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 las vegas gp #(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.) #(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it) #(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl) #(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable) #(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute) #(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting) #(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.') #(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun) #(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.) #we do a little bit of f1

[sevensoulmates]

7x05 Eddie Spec (Claw arm call)

A lot of people have been talking about the promo and Buck's date (rightly, because !!!) but I haven't seen anyone talking about the rest of the promo with the dude with the claw hand being a speaker at a convention talking about "the secret to self-control" with the sign "I'm the boss of me" behind him, while his hand seemingly takes on a life on its own and tries to hurt him.

Given how we know this episode is gonna have a huge Eddie plot and will likely be Eddie-centric if not feature him heavily, and calls are usually supposed to reflect whatever is going on in the character's personal lives, I can't help but feel like this "self-control" convention is pretty interesting to see in relation to an episode where Eddie's going to be struggling with his relationship with Marisol (and maybe his sexuality subtextually).

Eddie and "self-control" have already had a tumultuous relationship over the course of the whole time he's been on the show. A lot of Eddie's personality is very restrictive, not allowing himself certain things either because he doesn't think he deserves it, or because he would rather sacrifice his own wants and needs in order to prioritize someone else's (usually Christopher's). Eddie's irrational need to always be in control of himself (hence why he was so in denial about his panic attacks) has caused him many many issues over the years, and while he's definitely started unpacking a lot of it, especially in regards to his military service and his relationship with his dad, he hasn't really done so in regards to his relationships, and I think that's on purpose.

"Self-control" is also "self-denial" which is also in the same vein as "repression" and I just can't help but feel like this call will likely mirror Eddie, in that the "hand that suddenly has a life of its own" and is now coming back to hurt the man, is a reflection of something within Eddie that he's tried desperately to control before, but will now take on a life of its own. When you deny yourself something, it's usually denying a desire of some kind. And I think that it's time that Eddie's desires that he's been so desperately trying to keep under lock and key for years will finally take on a life of their own, and the more Eddie desperately tries to wrangle it back inside, to shut it up, to stifle it, to deny it, the harder it will fight back and the worse it will hurt him in the process.

My prediction for that call is the second that man finally stops trying to control his arm will be the second he's free of whatever is "possessing" it. Because in actuality, the arm isn't being possessed, it doesn't have a life of its own (it may or may not be something medical idk but my guess is still that it's likely something psychological). The man's arm is a part of him. Just like Eddie's sexuality is a part of him. And Eddie can only find harmony in himself, and stop hurting himself by making choices he knows he doesn't actually want, when he stops trying to control the Unspoken thing inside him and lets himself be free.

I'm not saying Eddie's going to be having any big revelations in this episode, or that it's going to be resolved right away but this call will likely be a strong hint at where Eddie's story is going to go, and 7x05 will be just the start of it.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #911 speculation #7x05 speculation #my hope is this episode marks the start of eddie's arc of releasing all the expectations he and others put on himself #and starting to choose himself and being HONEST with himself #but my bet is it's probably going to get worse before it gets better #7x05 will likely be the episode in which things get worse #but hopefully soon after things will start to look up for him #there's a song I really love that reminds me of buck and eddie #called Do You Wish That You Loved Me by Sleep Token #and the song is about a person singing to themselves in the mirror #wishing they could love themselves #that's eddie in 7x05 #eddie is saying to himself You Don't Know Me #but he will know himself in the future #and he'll find that he's a man who has always been worth loving

[scrivvle74]

I was laughing at Xie Lian not really knowing how to use curse words properly in the flashback arcs. but it just dawned on me that it was probably to show how young and naive he was during all of it

#the way he had all his innocence and naivety snatched away in such violent ways #the way that it’s so unfair and brutal #the way that trauma effected him so deeply but even in little ways like his vocabulary #I wonder if he sleeps differently #mxtx when I get you mxtx— #I’m upset about tgcf again guys don't look at me #I’m wish I could articulate myself better #I have SO many thoughts and feelings about Xie Lian #all I can say is he just like me fr fr #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #xie lian #tgcf xie lian #idk man my brain is so fried rn from working on an animatic #scriv lore

[nejackdaw]

Guy walked into the store, basketball awkwardly held under his arm, shopping basket in that same hand, beat up skateboard upside down covering the entire basket (skateboard transport instead of food storage???) and headed directly to the candy aisle. Blond. Short, spikey hair. Black bookbag. It's 8pm. I looked at him as he walked past me and my only thought was "haha, Sam behavior." Then I watched him go directly in the candy aisle and yeah. SDV Sam behavior.

#sdv #sdv sam #stardew valley sam #ive never seen this man before in my life (small town) #still not over the basketball > skateboard > immediately to the candy aisle series of realizations #i tried to sketch the moment between customers but alas. busy #i was utterly captivated by his awkward ass solution to carrying his things #brother you could have left those up here. but objectively. this was more fascinating #where did he put the candy. on the skateboard????? #the only basketball court we even have is at the college do we think theres a basketball court in sdv #would sam be any good at it. idk much about him #wish this could have been an image but its after work and sleep time not drawing time #posting it anyway

[cgerice]

1980's Keith,,,, is really cute, with his big ol' bambi eyes

love this guy

#voltron: defender of the universe #keith akira kogane #keith kogane #I've been thinking about VLD Keith like a whole lot #and somehow that affection has bled over onto this man as well #i've been sleeping on the 80's anime style fr #wish i could emulate it better lmao

[spllwys]

omg happy birthday take me back to eden. sending a cupcake to the dywtylm creature specifically

#sleep token #just saw their instagram story #'one revolution around the sun' man can't say happy birthday like a normal person sdkhjcksh #jk i love it it's very cute #wish i could make something to celebrate but my first exam is on wednesday and i'm in deep shit as it stands #so it might have to wait #they won't mind if it's late so long as i'm worshipping

[bootlegfrank]

Oh. What if I make my latest fic angsty. What if the guilt is overwhelming. What if the regret eats him up from the inside. What if he's disgusted. What if it changes how he sees himself and his friend forever.

#dont know if im gonna go through with it #but it sounds really delicious #he calls you dad and its so hot that when the post-nut clarity hits you wish you could erase the whole experience from your brain #you should've never done this it was just the lighting it was the atmosphere it was his laugh it was a horrible thing to do #you'll go home and you'll kiss your wife and pat your kids on the head and you won't be able to stop thinking about him #and isn't this just such a horrible thing you've done. a horrible man you've become #you've never strayed but it happened so easily without thought without consideration #you're in his hotel bed right now with your arms around him and every inch of contact hurts- burn wounds down to your bones #you don't think you can ever sleep again. you're shaking from the inside out. you bury your face in his nape and feel his hair tickle your #nose and try not to think about his eyes or the way he'd whispered your name or the feeling of his cock in your hand or yours in his #wow this got out of hand #this is about my fucking jizzleman piss fic btw #i dont know what overcame me

[vi-enti]

dating apps are 🎶 the worst 🎶 and i am gonna be 🎶 alone forever 🎶

#i really do want a partner or two but man i just. it’s so hard to put oneself out there #and also i just… REALLY don’t like most people #i’m probably too judgmental tbh but i can’t help myself i want a romance like out of a tv show #that is to say. UNREALISTIC #i just wish i could date a friend. friendship is the only basis for romance in my mind #gonna reread a favorite fanfic to sleep and dream about a lovely girlfriend thst doesnt exist lmao #moon babbles

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anybody else slowly disassociating more and more as you slowly lose all of your touchstones in this world?

#it can't be just me right #also i am stoned and can't sleep why is it already past 2am damn #disassociation #no close family any more #one half sister where we have a weird relationship because i basically raised her for a while #so when we're around each other we just remind each other of our horrific childhoods and various mental health issues from that #all of my friends either live too far away are too busy with their own lives and loves (understandable) or have just forgotten me #starting to feel like I imagined that whole fling with d #but geez it'd be pretty pathetic if even a romance I made up in my head didn't end up with someone choosing me #then again I have trouble enjoying fantasies too far from the realm of possibility and maybe it's just not realistic to have someone want me #as more than a passing entertainment lol #anyway every day i feel less like a real person and more like a ghost or something imaginary or like a stranger in my own body #dang man i wish i could afford therapy i probably could use some huh #although my last therapist was pretty lackluster honestly #mental health #life of faye

[bobmckenzie]

sooo dreamy so beautiful so babygirl so precious. he is my pretty princess 🙄🙄🙄🙄

#he's literally talking about how he's trying to prank doug and make him pee himself in his sleep #and im sitting here like omg thats my dream man !! #i wish i could go back in time and tell the camera operators to fcking ZOOM IN MORE OFTEN SO I COULD MAKE MORE GIFS THAT ARENT 4 PIXELS #caitiedits #peanut butter and jelly donut