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sunkissed-zegras · 5 months

Note

❄️ Jack Hughes ”no matter where I go, all these roads lead me to what I once called a home”

Congrats btw! 😁

✮ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 / 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 | jack hughes

♡ ─ word count | 4.4k

♡ ─ summary | jack, driven by his ambitions, realizes too late that he has taken his relationship with you for granted. as he achieves success, the bitterness of his lonely successes intensifies, highlighting the irreplaceable hole left by the genuine connection he lost.

♡ ─ warnings | unedited, angst!!! fighting, nothing else i think??

♡ ─ taglist | @dancerbailey3 @valluvsu @daisysnhl @dasiysthings @iminlovewithtz11 @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvleyzoe

♡ ─ ev's notes | this ask was a part of my 600 celly BUT i was feeling angsty so i wrote it. hope y'all enjoyed!! also, requests are open for now! always open to respectful criticisms :)

As the clock struck midnight on your fourth anniversary, you sensed a subtle shift in the air, a quiet shake that seemed to resonate within the core of your relationship with Jack. The two of you had been inseparable since your teenage years, navigating the trials of adolescence and embracing the joys of young love. Yet, as the months passed, a distance began to emerge, casting shadows over the once close connection you shared.

You noticed it first in the subtle changes – the diminishing frequency of his texts, the laughter less genuine, and the gradual shift in focus from your shared world to individual pursuits. The I-love-yous that used to flow effortlessly now hung in the air, unanswered or replaced by a strained silence.

You found yourself grappling with a growing sense of unease, a gnawing suspicion that whispered of changes you were not prepared to face. The shared dreams and aspirations that once bound you together now seemed to drift into the background, overshadowed by Jack's newfound focus on career ambitions and personal goals.

You weren't angry that Jack put his career first, no, if anything you'd pushed him to make sure his dreams were achieved. It was the fact that somehow, everything else became more important than your relationship. Making money and going out seemed like the only thing that mattered; everything that you two had talked about when you were younger had became less and less important to him. Was it a lie? They couldn't have been, he promised.

In quiet moments of reflection, you found yourself remembering the vows exchanged during late-night conversations when the world felt like it belonged solely to the two of you. Jack's assurances that success wouldn't change him, that love would remain the foundation of your connection, echoed through your mind like a haunting song. Yet, as the days passed, those promises started to feel like distant echoes, fading away in his ambitions.

You had always envisioned a future where success and love walked hand in hand, where the pursuit of dreams strengthened the bond between you. But, it seemed that Jack's definition of success had turned into a solitary journey, one that left little room for the shared dreams you both had once held dear.

The weekends that were once reserved for lazy strolls in the park or movie nights now transformed into a whirlwind of social events, networking dinners, and late-night games. As Jack's career flourished, the time he dedicated to building a life together dwindled, leaving you grappling with a sense of isolation within the relationship.

You couldn't help but question whether the promises he made were now casualties of his success. Did the allure of wealth and a thriving social life overshadow the simplicity and authenticity of your love? The echoes of those once-heartfelt promises grew fainter, drowned out by the noise of his career and the allure of a lifestyle that seemed to prioritize everything but the intimacy and connection you once shared.

The nights you spent cuddled up on the couch, lost in conversations that stretched until dawn, became replaced by solitary moments of insecurity. You wondered if you had done something wrong, if there was a fault in your stars that you failed to recognize. Were you not enough? Were the dreams you shared no longer worth pursuing together?

The once deep connection that felt like an unbreakable bond now seemed like a fragile thread, ready to snap under the weight of unanswered questions. In those quiet moments, you found yourself replaying old conversations, searching for the missed cues or overlooked signs that may have forewarned you of this impending shift. Was there something you missed?

You longed for the days when love was enough, when the simplicity of being together was worth more than any fleeting moment of fame and success. The questions that lingered in your mind echoed in the silent spaces between you and Jack, becoming an unspoken barrier that seemed hopeless.

In those moments of doubt, you couldn't help but wonder if there was a way to bridge the growing gap, to reclaim the dreams that once felt so attainable. The beginning of the end hung in the air, and you found yourself at a crossroads, torn between holding onto the fading echoes of promises or facing the reality that the love you once knew was slipping away.

The clock on the wall ticked away the seconds, the sound echoing through the quiet living room as she sat on the couch, glancing anxiously at her watch. Hockey practice was supposed to end hours ago, but Jack was still out there on the rink, lost in his own world. The apartment felt empty, the only source of light was the soft glow of a lamp casting long shadows across the room.

You absentmindedly twirled a strand of your hair, glancing at the clock again. The frustration and exhaustion etched on your face were undeniable. The late-night practices had transformed from an occasional occurrence to a regular part of your lives, leaving your with a sense of loneliness that permeated the air.

The door creaked open, and Jack stumbled in, clad in his hockey gear, a tired look on his face. His gaze met yours, and for a moment, there was a flicker of guilt before it quickly masked itself with a tired smile.

"Hey," he said, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "Sorry, practice ran late again."

She forced a smile, but the weariness in her eyes spoke volumes. "It's fine," she replied, her tone carrying a weight of unspoken words. "I made some food, it's in the microwave if you want some."

"Already ate with the boys," he replied before he disappeared into the bathroom, you sank deeper into the cushions, grappling with the frustration of being left alone, night after night.

As the sound of the running shower echoed through the apartment, you sat there, feeling the weight of the unshared meal and the emptiness that seemed to seep into the spaces between you and Jack. The promise of a home-cooked dinner, prepared with love, now felt like a futile attempt to bridge the growing gap in your relationship.

When Jack emerged from the bathroom, the scent of soap and exhaustion lingered in the air. He joined you on the couch, the distance between you both more pronounced than ever.

He settled in, scrolling absentmindedly through his phone. The flickering light illuminated his tired face, the blue glow reflecting in his eyes that were once filled with the spark of shared dreams. You glanced at the clock; it was late, too late for meaningful conversation.

"Long day," he mumbled, his attention still on the screen.

You two sat in silence for a few moments before you decided to speak up again, another attempt to bridge the gap between you two.

"Jack," you began, the uncertainty in your voice cutting through the quiet of the room. He looked up from his phone, meeting your eyes with a distant acknowledgment.

"I was thinking about our future, you know?" The words hung in the air, a tentative attempt to navigate a conversation that felt more fragile than ever.

He sighed, the weariness evident in the lines that etched his face. "Yeah, me too. It's just... work's demanding right now. I'm on the brink of something big, and I need to give it my all."

The acknowledgment of his ambitions stung, a reminder that the dreams you once shared were now taking divergent paths. "I get that, Jack. I've always supported your goals, but it feels like we're moving in different directions lately. What about that family we'd always wanted, the two boys and the girl-"

"What about family, Y/N? We have time, We're 22 for God's sake, just be patient with me." Frustration dripped from his voice as he snapped, sighing as he watched all the patience drain from your face. He looked back at you, guilt overtaking his emotions. "I know it's been tough, especially with the late nights and practices. But this is temporary. Once I make it, we can have everything we ever talked about."

Everything you ever talked about. The phrase echoed in your mind, a stark contrast to the reality of unshared dinners, missed moments, and fading dreams. Did he even remember your dreams together anymore? "Jack, it's not just about the late nights. It's about us, about the life we planned together. I miss the simplicity of what we had."

He nodded, a reluctant admission of the truth. "I miss it too, but we need to make sacrifices for the life we want. This is just part of the journey."

You were tired as you looked forward, to the TV. "Okay, Jack." The conversation lingered in the air, unresolved and heavy.

The room fell into a heavy silence, the weight of unspoken words settling between you and Jack. The glow of the television cast shadows on the walls, a stark reminder of the distance that had grown within the space you once shared.

──

The restaurant hummed with the clinking of cutlery and the murmur of conversations. The atmosphere should have been celebratory after Jack's successful game, but as you sat across from him at a dimly lit table, there was an undeniable tension in the air.

Throughout the meal, Jack's attention seemed divided. He was engaged in animated discussions with teammates who joined the celebration, and you found yourself fading into the background. Attempting to bring a sense of intimacy, you reached for his hand, a silent plea for a connection in the midst of the crowd.

However, when one of his teammates approached the table to congratulate him, Jack subtly withdrew his hand to shake theirs. The gesture was small, but the impact reverberated through you like a shockwave.

As the teammate left, you couldn't ignore the awkwardness that settled between you and Jack. The distance had become palpable, and the celebratory atmosphere of the restaurant only accentuated the loneliness you felt.

The walk back to the car was quiet and dormant, you felt almost nauseous after. The silence between you and Jack was broken only by the distant sounds of the city. You stole glances at him, hoping to find a trace of the connection you once shared. However, his gaze seemed distant, lost in thoughts that remained unspoken.

As you approached the car, the silence became unbearable. The unlocking of the car door punctuated the stillness, and you both settled into the seats, the physical proximity doing little to bridge the emotional chasm that had formed.

The car hummed softly as you drove back from Jack's hockey game. You stole glances at Jack, his profile bathed in the soft glow of passing streetlights. His eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, distant and unyielding. The connection you once shared, the easy banter and shared laughter, felt like a distant memory. The gap had widened, and you couldn't shake the sinking feeling that something big had shifted.

"I just don't understand, Jack," you finally broke the silence, the words hesitant but charged with emotion.

He sighed, his gaze still fixed on the road. "Understand what, Y/N?"

Your name sounded bitter coming from his mouth, hearing it felt like a curse. Your name used to sound sweet, like something special - now, it sounded like something else.

"I don't understand why it feels like we're falling apart," you admitted, the weight of the unspoken tension finding a voice. "I don't understand why every moment between us seems strained, like we're living in two different worlds. It doesn't feel like us anymore."

Jack's shoulders tensed, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. The city lights cast shadows on his face, emphasizing the lines that etched the weariness of unresolved issues.

"We're just going through a rough patch," he replied, his voice carrying an edge and it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself that, too.

"But how long is this 'rough patch' going to last, Jack?" The bitterness crept into your voice, fueled by the frustration of being kept in the dark. "I feel like I'm losing you, and I don't even know why."

He remained silent, the distance between you growing with each passing second. Your hands fidgeted in your lap, the tension in the car becoming unbearable. "We used to talk about everything, Jack. Now it feels like you're shutting me out."

He finally turned to look at you, his eyes carrying a mixture of guilt and defensiveness. "I'm dealing with a lot right now, Y/N. It's not about shutting you out."

"But it feels that way," you countered, the rawness of your emotions laid bare. "I want to be there for you, but I can't if you don't let me in."

His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, and frustration etched lines on his forehead. "You just don't get it, do you? This is my career, my life. I'm trying to make something of myself, and you're making it harder."

The words hung in the air, a declaration that cut through the silence like a sharp blade. The breaking point was reached, and a surge of anger replaced the hurt in your chest.

"Making it harder? Jack, I'm not your enemy. I'm your partner," you retorted, your voice rising. "I've supported you every step of the way, I've put you first for the last three years, Jack, I pushed everything aside to come move to Jersey with you."

"I never asked you to do that, Y/N." Jack replied, his frustration palpable.

"That's not the point!" you shot back, your emotions breaking through the dam of restraint. You couldn't believe that was the only thing he got from everything you'd just said. "I did it because I believed in us. I believed in you. But now it feels like you're pushing me away, shutting me out, and I can't take it anymore."

"You're not understanding, Y/N," Jack's tone grew sharper, defensive walls rising. "I'm under so much pressure, and I need space. I can't have you constantly questioning me, doubting everything I do."

His words cut deep, and you felt a sense of betrayal mingled with the anger. "I'm not doubting you, Jack. I'm doubting us. I'm doubting whether we can survive if you keep shutting me out like this."

He turned away, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "I want a future, Y/N. I want success. Is that so wrong?"

"It's not wrong, Jack, but success shouldn't come at the cost of our relationship," you argued, desperation seeping into your voice. "I want a future too, but not at the expense of us falling apart."

He scoffed, the bitterness in his tone cutting through. "You knew what you signed up for when we started this relationship. I can't just drop everything now."

"Jack, relationships require effort from both sides," you insisted, your frustration reaching its peak. "You're so focused on your career that you're neglecting what's right in front of you."

"I'm neglecting what's right in front of me? Y/N, I'm working hard for us," he argued, the bitterness in his voice unabated. "I'm trying to build a future, a life where you don't have to worry about anything."

"But what about the life we're living now?" you pleaded, your voice breaking through the tension. "What about the love and connection we used to have? Is that not worth fighting for anymore?"

Silence lingered, the car speeding through the night, the city lights outside casting a surreal glow. The breaking point had led to a stark realization — you were both standing at a crossroads, and the choices made in this moment would shape the fate of your relationship.

"Jack, it's not just about the future. It's about us, about what we have now," you spoke softly, the vulnerability in your voice revealing the depth of your emotions. "I miss the way we used to be, the laughter, the shared dreams. It feels like we're losing all of that."

He remained silent, his grip on the steering wheel tight. As you neared home, the heaviness in the air grew more pronounced. The choices you both faced were stark — to continue down divergent paths, the breaking point had set the stage for a decision, and as the car rolled to a stop, the echoes of unmet needs and fading dreams reverberated in the silence that enveloped you both.

The engine cut off, and Jack finally turned to look at you. His eyes, once filled with love, now reflected the weight of the unspoken resentment. The air inside the car felt dense with the unmet expectations.

"Y/N," he began, his voice heavy. "I think we need to be honest with ourselves. We're not the same people we were when we started this journey. Our dreams, they've pulled us in different directions."

The breaking point had reached its culmination, and the truth hung in the air like a heavy fog. You looked at Jack, the person you had shared so much love with, and saw a stranger in the dim glow of the car's interior staring back at you.

"I never wanted it to come to this," he continued, a hint of regret in his eyes. "But we can't keep holding onto what used to be. It's not fair to either of us."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, the pain of parting etched on both your faces. The car door opened, and as you stepped out into the cool night air, the echoes of what once was lingered in the spaces between you. The breaking point had led to an ending, a decision made in the quiet aftermath of a car ride that had shifted the course of your relationship.

──

Months had passed since the break up, and Jack found himself navigating the post-Y/N world with attempts to move on. Tonight, he found himself at a bar with his friends, the dimmed lights and lively atmosphere attempting to drown the lingering echoes of Y/N and everything she was.

His friends, aware of his struggle, were determined to lift his spirits. "Come on, Jack, look around. There are plenty of beautiful girls here! Who wouldn't wanna sleep with the Jack Hughes?" One of them encouraged, gesturing towards the crowd.

Jack halfheartedly smiled, appreciating their efforts to pull him out of his slump. He scanned the room, the laughter and chatter of the bar patrons surrounding him. Amidst the sea of faces, one caught his eye — a girl who, from a distance, bore a resemblance to Y/N.

His friends nudged him, teasingly urging him to approach her. "There you go, Jack! She's cute, right?"

He hesitated, his gaze fixed on the girl who seemed to share a fleeting resemblance to someone he once held close, someone who had been his world. The internal struggle between moving on and clinging to the past played out in his conflicted expression.

But as he approached, the girl looked up, and for a moment, Jack's heart skipped a beat. The resemblance was uncanny — the same captivating eyes, a similar smile. In that instant, he felt a pang of nostalgia, a cruel reminder of what he had lost.

The girl, oblivious to the emotional turmoil within Jack, smiled politely. Jack stammered, the weight of the past and the allure of familiarity colliding. His friends exchanged knowing glances, realizing that even in a sea of faces, some connections were indelible. As Jack struggled to respond, his gaze lingered on the girl who momentarily embodied a resemblance to the one he couldn't forget.

"Hey, can I get you something to drink?" Jack said, feigning confidence.

"Sure, I'll have a vodka soda."

As he headed to the bar, Jack's friends continued their subtle exchange of knowing glances. They could see the conflict in their friend's eyes, torn between the past and the present.

As he returned with the drinks, Jack decided to engage in conversation, attempting to momentarily escape the weight of his thoughts. They found a more secluded spot, away from the lively crowd, and Jack tried to muster a genuine smile.

"Cheers," he said, lifting his glass. The clink of glasses filled the air, but in the echo.

As they teased back and forth, Jack decided to flirt, something he'd done a million times in the last couple of months, trying to move on. The girl reciprocated, and for a brief moment, the bar seemed like a place where past and present could coexist.

"You know," she said, casually swirling the drink in her hand, "I've never met someone as driven as you, someone so focused on their own success. It's impressive, but I wonder if you've ever stopped to enjoy the simpler things in life. I bet it's hard, with your work and stuff..."

Jack's smile faltered, and his eyes widened in surprise. Her words hung in the air, and for a moment, Jack was transported back to the countless times Y/N had gently urged him to appreciate the present and to find joy in the little things.

In that instant, the weight of realization hit him. It wasn't about a specific detail, but rather the essence of what he had lost. Y/N had brought balance to his life, grounding him in the beauty of everyday moments. The girl's words echoed Y/N's sentiments, and it dawned on Jack how much he had taken her for granted.

Excusing himself, Jack left the girl confused. He quickly said his goodbyes to his friends, walking back to his friends. The attempt to recreate the banter, the flirtation – it all felt like a hollow pursuit compared to the real connection he had with Y/N.

Outside the bar, the cool night air wrapped around him, and Jack took a moment to collect his thoughts. The city lights flickered in the distance, a stark contrast to the clarity that was slowly settling within him. Determined to address the growing void within him, Jack made his way back to the apartment he once shared with Y/N. The familiar surroundings seemed different now, carrying the echoes of both joy and the regret of what he had lost.

Upon entering, the silence enveloped him, a stark contrast to the happy memories that used to fill these walls. The photographs on the wall, the shared belongings, all gone now. The home now felt sterile and cold, it didn't feel like home anymore.

Jack sank onto the couch, his mind replaying the moments he had shared with Y/N. The laughter, the late-night talks, the dreams they had woven together – they all flooded back, bringing with them a profound longing.

Unable to shake the weight of regret, Jack decided to confront the reality he had been avoiding. He picked up his phone and dialed Y/N's number, the familiar digits carrying the hope of rebuilding what he had carelessly let crumble.

"Hey, it's me," Jack began, the words carrying a vulnerability he had long suppressed. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I need to talk to you. Can we meet?"

Y/N's response was a mixture of surprise and caution, "Jack, it's been months. What's there to talk about now?"

Jack took a deep breath, ready to lay bare his feelings. "I realized how much I took you for granted, Y/N. The success, the pursuit of my dreams – they meant nothing without you. I miss us, I miss the simplicity and authenticity we had. Can we meet, please?"

Y/N's hesitant silence on the other end spoke volumes, and Jack felt his heart sink. After what seemed like an eternity, she finally responded with a gentle but firm, "Jack, I appreciate your honesty, but I've moved on. Meeting now wouldn't change anything."

His chest tightened with the weight of her words, and the reality of the consequences hit him. Jack had taken a chance on something genuine and beautiful and let it slip away. The simplicity and authenticity he once shared with Y/N were now fragments of a past he couldn't reclaim.

"I understand," he said, his voice betraying a sense of defeat. "I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, and that I've learned from my mistakes."

Y/N's response was soft, "Jack, take this as a lesson for your future. I hope you find the happiness you're searching for."

The call ended, leaving Jack with a hollow ache. The apartment, once filled with shared dreams, now felt emptier than ever. The essence of what he had lost lingered in the air, a constant reminder of the genuine connection he had taken for granted.

Anger took over his body and he couldn't help but slam his hands on the coffee table, it felt like the whole apartment shook. Breathing heavily, Jack paced around the room, the weight of his realization settling in. The photographs on the wall seemed to mock him, frozen moments that he couldn't ever relive. The essence of what he could've had with Y/N now haunted him, a ghost of the love he had taken for granted.

He glanced around the apartment, each corner holding memories of shared laughter, whispered promises, and the warmth of their love. It was a stark contrast to the emptiness that surrounded him now.

Sinking onto the couch, Jack let out a heavy sigh. The world he could've had with Y/N played out in his mind like a bittersweet movie, each scene a reminder of what he had lost. Regret clawed at him, and Jack couldn't shake the image of Y/N moving forward without him. The authenticity he craved, the simplicity he missed – it was all embodied in the love he had taken for granted.

As Jack sat alone in the quiet apartment, the taste of success, once sweet on his tongue, now felt bitter. The achievements that he had relentlessly pursued seemed hollow without Y/N by his side to share in the joy.

The awards and accomplishments, once the pinnacle of his aspirations, now felt like mere tokens in a life that lacked the authenticity he had once shared with Y/N. The world he had built for himself seemed colorless without her to share in the colorful moments of success.

In the solitude of the apartment, Jack realized that the pursuit of success had come at a cost – the cost of a genuine, irreplaceable connection. The bitterness of this realization was palpable, a reminder that the sweetest victories were the ones shared with someone you loved. And no matter where he went, all those roads led him to what I once called his home, his everything.

It was a bitter truth that Jack couldn't escape, and as he reflected on the choices that had led him to this lonely moment, he understood that success, without the taste of shared happiness, was empty. In the silence, he grappled with the emptiness that accompanied the absence of the one person who had made every success worthwhile.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

#nhl imagine #nhl #nhl fic #hockey #nhl oneshot #nhl fanfiction #hockey fic #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes smut #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes fic #jack hughes #jack hughes x y/n #nj devils #new jersey devils #hughes brothers

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wumiings · 9 months

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Trying to tease out any ideas about SY’s life pre-canon is so tricky because you have to sort of choose a point on the sliding scale between the two basic reasons for SQQ completely blocking out the ‘Shen Yuan’ identity:

His previous life was bad/painful and he wants to forget it in favor of the new one

His previous life was good and it’s painful to remember what he can never have back

It’s unlikely that the truth lies at either extreme, but the little information we have makes it hard to determine which way the scale tips.

On the one hand, it’s clear that SQQ disdains SY on some level. He lacks ambition; he’s a “useless pretty boy waiting around to die.” His isolated, chronically-online lifestyle is profoundly unfulfilling, and he blames himself for it (although the audience has reason to believe this is not an entirely accurate self-assessment, hence the neurodivergence/invisible illness theories).

It makes sense that he would attach himself more strongly to the identity that he sees as having more substance; pre-canon, he mostly ‘lives’ online and therefore retains ties to the ‘Peerless Cucumber’ identity after transmigrating. So far, this all seems pretty cut and dry.

But on the other hand, there’s Shen Yuan’s family. Now, I see no reason to disbelieve the three straightforward facts we’re presented with on this subject: that one of his older brothers was warm and attentive, like YQY; that he doted on his younger sister (and read her kinky danmei); and that he didn’t have the same obligation to excel as his brothers because he didn’t have to inherit the family business.

However, if they were all as close as he claims, why doesn’t he seem to mourn them? After pushing LBH into the Abyss, SQQ “doesn’t mourn” but it’s obvious from everyone’s reactions that he really fucking does. In contrast, there aren’t many signs in the first book that he’s secretly struggling with the grief of never seeing his loved ones again.

Are these relationships so ultimately insignificant/unfulfilling that he can easily cast them off right along with the concept of ‘Shen Yuan’? Are they more fraught/bittersweet than he is willing to acknowledge (and is this related to why we get no particular details about his parents or second brother)? Or is feeling of loss so powerful that he can’t even allow himself to contemplate or allude to it, can only cling to this new identity that never had a family to lose?

SY!SQQ’s “true self” is Shen Qingqiu. And in that sense, an identity reveal really isn’t that important, because it wouldn’t change anything about how the other characters should understand him. But if you view the narrative as shaped behind the scenes by a hidden yet pervasive grief inextricably tied to Shen Yuan’s history, then that history and that self become relevant to his present and future.

As notable as it is that he opted to go by his internet handle in the mushroom body, I think it’s also somewhat symbolic that the physical form he grew for himself was a combination of Shen Yuan and Shen Qingqiu’s features. And that while these three identities (SY, SQQ, Cucumber) were integrated into a single self, he was stronger than any of them individually.

Just some food for thought.

#shen yuan #shen qingqiu #svsss #scum villain #meta #scum villian self saving system

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catmarlowastrology · 9 months

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❤️ Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet Synastry: Exploring the Leo-Capricorn Quincunx

⚔️ The quincunx

A quincunx happens when two planets are positioned 150 degrees apart in the sky. This alignment signifies that individuals need to work together to expand their outlook and adjust in ways that might not come naturally. This might include stepping out of their comfort zones and actively embracing ideas or traits that may seem unfamiliar and difficult at first.

🦁🐐 The Leo-Capricorn Quincunx

Leo and Capricorn represent the conflict between expressing oneself and fulfilling responsibilities. Leo is all about personal creativity, performance, and self-expression, driven by the Sun's influence, which symbolizes the individual self. On the other hand, Capricorn is focused on social status and career, guided by Saturn, which places a greater emphasis on duty and structure.

❤️ Attraction Factors between Leo and Capricorn

Leo and Capricorn are drawn to each other because they both have strong ambitions, although they focus on different areas. Leo aims for the spotlight and craves attention, often pursuing paths that allow for creativity and personal recognition. In contrast, Capricorn is attracted to accomplishments that bring long-term value and social status, such as career progression and contributions to the community. They can greatly admire each other's achievements, finding this quality quite captivating.

Leo's lively character can bring excitement to Capricorn's usually practical and reserved lifestyle. Leo can teach Capricorn how to appreciate the rewards of hard work, how to savor life, and, importantly, how to relax and have fun. Conversely, Capricorn's down-to-earth demeanor can offer Leo the stability and framework they might not recognize they require. Capricorn can help Leo channel their energy in a disciplined manner, potentially making their aspirations more attainable.

Both Leo and Capricorn place high importance on loyalty and lasting commitments, albeit for different motivations. For Leo, loyalty represents a manifestation of love and dedication, a proof of their significance. In contrast, Capricorn regards loyalty as a fundamental element of a dependable, enduring partnership. This common core value can establish a sturdy basis for their relationship.

⛔ Repulsion Factors between Leo and Capricorn

Despite their mutual attractions, Leo and Capricorn may encounter certain challenges or aspects that don't resonate with each other. For example, Leo's constant desire for admiration and attention might clash with Capricorn's tendency to only give praise when it's earned based on their high standards. Capricorn might perceive Leo's extravagant behavior as frivolous or shallow, seeing it as an obstacle to long-term objectives. Leo might interpret Capricorn's reserved demeanor as cold or unaffectionate, potentially mistaking it for a lack of interest or enthusiasm.

Their approach to social interactions can also lead to disagreements. Leo enjoys socializing and often thrives in lively settings, whereas Capricorn prefers more selective and purpose-focused gatherings. Leo might feel stifled by Capricorn's reserved nature, while Capricorn could view Leo's social enthusiasm as lacking depth or seriousness.

Leo's love for drama and excitement might be tiring for the more practical and composed Capricorn, who, in turn, could seem too dull or inflexible for the spirited Leo.

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livgr3 · 6 months

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Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022) dir. Sophie Hyde

Good Luck to You Leo Grande (2022) is an unconventional romantic comedy, sometimes even described specifically as a “sex comedy,” directed by Sophie Hyde. The film consists primarily of intimate conversations and sex between Nancy Stokes, a neurotic older woman with little sexual experience, and Leo Grande, a charismatic young sex worker whom Nancy hires to explore her sexuality. It stars the incomparable Emma Thompson and Daryl McCormack, sure to be a star-on-the-rise, who bring to life a witty, provocative screenplay written by Katy Brand. In my video essay, I employed a narrative analysis to discuss the film’s unique four-act structure against the female sexual response cycle. I also observed Hyde’s subversive use of The Gaze in specific scenes of the film. In this analysis, I will use genre studies to compare Good Luck to You Leo Grande to the typical conventions of the Romantic-comedy, then discuss the racial representation of the film against the oppositional gaze.

Subverting or Evolving the RomCom?

The label of RomCom does not perfectly describe Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, but it also doesn’t not describe it. On one hand, it is romantic, flirtatious, and sexy; it is also comedic, approaching the complex moral qualms of its subject matter with honesty and levity. On the other hand, these same moral themes and Hyde’s more artistic ambitions, such as setting most of the film in one location and the seeming lack of plot, have made it all too easy for viewers to label the film as a work of cinema more “elevated” than a typical RomCom. This assumption not only demeans the hundreds of films in the RomCom genre as somehow “low-brow,” but is also simply a misunderstanding of the romantic comedy as a genre.

In “Genre: The Conventions of Connection,” Leo Braudy boldly defends the cultural importance of genre films, a category which the romantic comedy falls into. He writes “Genre films, in fact, arouse and complicate feelings about the self and society that more serious films, because of their bias toward the unique, may rarely touch” (664). Romantic comedies, at their core, are a digestible way to attempt to make sense of the nebulous concept of love, and the complicated, vulnerable, and often unspoken topic of sex. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, honors this true nature of the romantic comedy, complicating it one step further by discoursing sex work and daring to represent the desire of an older woman.

Thus the unique “couple” at the heart of Hyde’s film is what sets it apart the most from other RomComs. Popular, mainstream heterosexual romantic comedies nearly always star a man and woman who each absolutely epitomize the beauty standard of the time, and are either young and unstoppable or adults in their thirties with fun yet respectable dream jobs. On romantic comedies, Betty Kaklamanidou writes “One could even argue that the utopian rom com world is the ideal incarnation of a fantasy society where difference is celebrated rather than exorcized, and where every person can truly be equal to the next” (150). It can be said, then, that in this fantasy world, only the most conventionally beautiful people are deserving the most incredible experiences. Good Luck to You Leo Grand abandons this idea of a perfect, utopian world, and exists in a version of the real world. Though unmistakably beautiful, the simple fact of Nancy’s age makes her a subversive RomCom heroine; she is simply an ordinary woman who happens to be older. Leo, too, greatly complicates the squeaky-clean RomCom formula merely in his occupation of a sex-worker. Unlike a certain film known as Pretty Woman and others of its kind, Leo does not need to be “saved” from his lifestyle. In fact, it is Nancy who is framed as needing “saving” and revitalization (something which I will address more in a bit).

Finally, Good Luck to You Leo Grande subverts the romantic comedy in that it does not end as a romance at all! Hyde does not rely on some forbidden romance between Nancy and Leo to keep her film interesting. They begin their relationship as something strictly sexual then form a strong platonic, friendly bond, these two kinds of connection consistently distinguished from romance throughout the film. Still, their once-in-a-lifetime friendship follows the prototypical trappings of a RomCom romance: the strange meet-cute, the rough patch, the betrayal, and the reunion.

With all this in mind, I ultimately find that Good Luck to You Leo Grande is not a “subversive” or “elevated” RomCom, but simply a sign that female filmmakers are expanding the previously limited notions of what a RomCom can be.

Laughing Through Color Once Again

There is one unfortunate but crucial aspect of many RomComs that must be discussed within the text of Good Luck to You Leo Grande: the Other. Due to the fact that older women and sex workers are two identity categories which are almost never explored in depth, both stars of the film are relative “Others” within the RomCom canon. Still, the factors of race and class are largely at play within the dynamic between Nancy and Leo.

Leo is a biracial sex worker. Nancy is a white woman hiring Leo for her satisfaction, to feel “young” again. Racial difference is hinted at but not explicitly addressed in the film, though other forms of oppression such as class and misogyny are discussed at length. With these facts in mind, how is the film any different than so many others in which a character of color is used for the development of a leading white character?

I am not the person to provide a sufficient answer to this question. However, I do feel like this generalizing comparison can err on the side of implying that sex work is demeaning, unwanted work. This is a perception of sex work that the film spends so much time and dialogue trying to refute. Leo is proud of his work; he chose this line of work. There are also so many subtle, intersecting power dynamics at play between Leo and Nancy that make it difficult to decipher who is necessarily “in control” in the many sexual scenarios of the film. While Nancy hired Leo and has the ability to refuse his pay or give a negative rating, Leo has much more sexual experience than her, acting as her kind and willing guide as she is in an incredibly vulnerable state.

Still, I think the way that Leo is portrayed and the “colorblind” approach to his race seems to be reinventing the wheel of the “palatable” Other. As Kaklamanidou writes, “This deceptive colour blindness applies to an extent to the Hollywood industry which attempts to metamorphose its ethnic stars into profitable commodities by enhancing and taking advantage of their appealing ethnic characteristics and diminishing and/or defusing those traits that may emphasize

their ‘other’ side” (141). This seems to be a very fitting description of Leo, characterized as a “palatable” Black sex worker. Leo seems to be economically stable and presents himself as classy, presumably appealing to wealthier clients. He also had the ability to choose sex work. Would Leo be portrayed with the same amount of charm and sex appeal if this were not the case?

Finally, the portrayal of postmenopausal feminine sexual desire through the character of Nancy is, undoubtedly, revolutionary and subversive. The film has received several positive reviews from (notably white) older women who never thought they’d be able to see themselves in a RomCom. But the progressive representation in this film only extends to white women. As hooks writes, “Most of the black women I talked with were adamant that they never went to movies expecting to see compelling representations of black femaleness. They were all acutely aware of cinematic racism-its violent erasure of black womanhood” (310). Nearly thirty years after the publication of hooks’ piece, this sentiment has sadly changed very little, and Good Luck to You Leo Grande, though a positive step for some, is no exception. Ultimately, there is no other film I can think of that is quite likeSophie Hyde’s Good Luck to You Leo Grande. Though it is definitely imperfect, it makes me excited for the future of RomComs.

Works Cited

Braudy, Leo. "Genre: The conventions of connection." Film theory and criticism 6 (1999): 663-679.

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande Directed by Sophie Hyde, performances by Emma Thompson and Daryll McCormack, 2022. Hulu.

Hooks, Bell. "The oppositional gaze: Black female spectators." Black American Cinema. Routledge, 2012. 288-302.

Kaklamanidou, B. (2013). Genre, Gender and the Effects of Neoliberalism: The New Millennium Hollywood Rom Com (1st ed.). Routledge.

#oxyfilmidentity #@theuncannyprofessoro #identityfilmanalysis

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sisionscreen · 2 years

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"The Empress" on Netflix: We show you the first pictures of the actors and actresses in costume

Written by Maria Hunstig for Vogue Germany | Translated by SisionScreen

The release of the first Sissi movie was 67 years ago and despite the female lifestyle of "marrying a prince/emperor and for the rest of time mostly strolling about a palce in frilled dresses, giving birth and looking pretty" gratefully becoming antiquitated, the interest in royal movie stories has become no less. The success of "The Crown", the many recent movie adaptations of the life of Princess Diana and the fact that the Sissi movies continue to be a staple of Christmas TV programming just like "Home Alone" and "Three Wishes for Cinderella" (also a princess narrative), are only a few examples of it.

Now Netflix has dedicated themselves to the life of Sisi as well (the spelling "Sissi" is only used in the period dramas of the 50s) and releases the series "Die Kaiserin" (working title: The Empress) this fall. In for now six episodes it tells the complicated love story of Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria-Hungary and Elisabeth of Wittelsbach, Princess of Bavaria [sic! Elisabeth has never been a princess of Bavaria since she is *just* the daughter of The Duke in Bavaria. Her mother Ludovika and aunt Sophie are princesses of Bavaria by birth because they were the daughters of its first king] - and the sister of the woman Franz was supposed to marry. The makers put a special focus on showing the complexity of this relationship and its protagonists who feel partly crushed by the strict rules at the 19th century court.

To show the desired modernity, costume designer Gabriela Reumer took a central role. The Swisswoman is known for her work on TV productions like Soko Wismar and movies like "Rabbit without Ears","Guardians" and "Traumfabrik" and had to familiarize herself with the 19th century royal fashion first - and wasn't too fond of some of the things she found. "I immediately had the ambition to choose a different approach to the costumes than the classic-historical one." Reumer said. She told us how that looks like and what kind of work went into the impressive dresses of the series.

Vogue: Usually you work on modern movies. How did you approach costumes for a historical productions?

Gabriela Reumer: First I went to Vienna. There I visited all the places of action for a week - from Schönbrunn over Sisi's hunting cabin to the Hofburg - and walked through these castles for hours. "How can one live here?" I wondered - because it is crushing, these massive hallways and the gardens that never seem to stop. This was my first try to get closer to the soul of this time period. Of course I also read a lot of books and looked at many haute coutoure shows, Christian Dior, Alexander McQueen...there were many sources of inspiration.

Vogue: What is this approach?

Reumer: Today it is desired in period dramas that everything is modern and different in terms of film making or production. That is a great undertaking and not easy to do. But you have to adapt a bit to the present and adapt the story for the eyes of today because a lot just doesn't work anymore. About 1850, women were like furniture. They were adorned, one could say decorated, so you look at them. The most important thing was that it was a lot. Actually this is unbearable, the women were like dolls. At this time, the crinolines, a kind of hoop skirt, were like a sphere and gave the women this doll likeness. But this didn't fit the story of Sisi for me, this woman, that emancipated herself and freed herself from the oppression and power plays. So I asked myself how could one dress women more dynamically. So I changed the shape of the crinolines towards something that came into fashion in the 1870s: flat in the front and a bit elliptical in the back. I used this shapes for Sisi and Sophie.

Vogue: So you in hindsight you improved fashion history for women.

Reumer: Yes! (laughs) The shapes of this time are great, the small wastes and the big volume are incredible. It is like building a house. I did respect these shapes because else you end up somewhere entirely different. The "rea" Sisi's waiste measure 46c, that is unbelieveable!

Vogue: So did you also see the originals clothes of Empress Elisabeth?

Reumer: Yes, at Schönbrunn, but I found them awful. Everything was so tacky. I'm usually very minimalistic when it comes to my costumes.

Vogue: Then why did you agree to be the costume designer after all?

Reumer: At the beginning, I wondered what I was actually doing here. But the I viewed it as a challenge. There are also very nice great from this time. The men's clothing is awesome with its frock-coats from great materials and high tophats. It is crazy what one can do with shapes.

Vogue: How about the costumes, were many newely or are many vintage dresses among them?

Reumer: For the main roles, most things were made new. There aren't many costumes from this time in archives. Sometimes you can find great individual parts: Lace blouses with very delicate lace fo example, capes or pieces with great decorations. I found many things in London. But it isn't too much since a lot is broken, the most beautiful things are so fragile that you can't use them anymore. The manufacturing studio Costumes Couture in Vienna made nearly all of the dress of Elisabeth and Sophie. It was great collaboration, they also made the wedding dress. The lace was stitched in original Austrian fashion in Vorarlberg and many of the fabrics for Sophie came from a manufactory in Vienna.

Michaela Meyer from Costumes Couture also makes a lot of evening dresses for the Vienna Opera Ball. She has special way to fold and knows the skirts and the volume. A skirt of Sisi uses 10 metres of fabric and she works very differently with it than my wardrobe director in Berlin, who sews in historical accurate way. We then brought all materials to Berlin and fitted them to the actors and actresses here which was very work intensive.

Vogue: How long does work take on one dress?

Reumer: It differs. The Team of Costums Couture is incredibly fast because they have a modern approach. They took about two weeks per costume and about four weeks for the wedding dress. In the studio in Berlin, it sometimes took a month.

Vogue: How many costumes were needed overall?

Reumer: For the complete series we had about 2000 costumes but among them were many extras which were fitted with costumes from costume houses in London and Rome. At Tirelli in Rome, they have many great things from movies I used to dress the "poor people", for example we borrowed a lot of costumes from "Gangs of New York" which was set in a similar time and the dresses a nice patina.

Vogue: What were the actors and actresses reactions when they were allowed to wear the dresses for the first time?

Reumer: They were very happy since it is of course very hard to imagine yourself in such a time period. Suddenly being laced up, wearing this huge volume, crinoline and corsage - it helped them immediately to get into their characters. The role of Sophie for example, who is portrayed as a power player, always wanted tight, high-necked dresses, and we did that. And then she became greater and stronger in the costumes. It was really interesting to see what one can do with historical costumes. The job of a costume is also to help the acting person to play their part. So it is important that they have say.

Vogue: Was there a character you found difficult to dress?

Reumer: In the beginning, this was the case with Emperor Franz. He always showed himself in uniform and we had to figure out how to show him without a uniform. How do you show what kind of person he really is? That wasn't simple. Also to make the uniform fit in a way he can move like an emperor was a challenge. For example, he wears a corsage underneath it to support him.

Vogue: What was your process in designing the wedding dress of Sisi?

Reumer: Actually there isn't a single photograph of Elisabeth's wedding dress, there are only drawings/sketches from the wedding at the church.

We wanted to created and show something depressing: Her wedding days is a horror, the entire realm attends and wants something from her. The extras were supposed to look like grimaces. The costumes was supposed to be high-necked and tight, we made a kind of turtle neck from lace and a huge crinoline. The circumference of the skirt is 167cm, it is incredibly heavy. On top of that there is the very long train which was secured at the waiste. For Devrim, it was very tedious to wear this wedding dress during filming, so you can see it in her that Elisabeth's wedding wasn't a happy day..

Vogue: How did your picture of Elisabeth change because of the work on the series?

Reumer: I mostly knew her from the moies with Romy Schneider. Only when I was working closely with the fabric, I understood Sisi's history of suffering, what a fight she fought for her entire life to be free. The poems she wrote are so touching. I became aware then that she tried to not assimilate all the time. Back then it was incredibly difficult to be "different."

The Empress will release on September 29tb, 2022, on Netflix.

Further comments that were used as captions on pictures:

"I was lucky that I was working on this production for nearly a year. Due to the delays, we faced, there was more time to think and to look for fabrics which was a challenge during lockdowns. We were busy with preparations for about six months."

"Most of the fabrics we purchased in Vienna, many also in Rome. There we found a great store which collects fabrics since the 60s, including Haute Couture fabrics. And of course in Antwerpen, there are many great stores, which for example stock Dries-van-Noten fabrics whose colors are ones again totally different."

"I think such a production comes twice or thrice in one life. I couldn't get enough, it was really fun from beginning to end."

"Sissi [sic!] is the kicker, this is the cherry on top of the cake. It was a gift. I surpassed myself and didn't think myself that the costumes would become so strong/great."

[picture of Elisabeth and Franz] "Here we see a moment towards the end of the season, Elisabeth and Franz at Schönbrunn Palce - in an emergence..."

"We worked closely with the set design. It was very important: For them everything is over the top too, and when then an over the top costumes enters the set you must take care for example with the colors."

[picture of Esterházy] "Here we see Countess Esterházy, the Oberhofmeisterin [lady high chamberlain/Mistress of the Robes] - she tries to tame Elisabeth for court with strictness and rules."

#The Empress #The Empress (2022)#Die Kaiserin #period drama #costume drama #historical drama #Gabriela Reumer #Vogue #costume design #Netflix #german series #german tv

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jojo-hut-jrs · 1 year

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Hi hi, do you have any general hcs for Sale and Chaka? Not necessarily romantic but like their past, quirks, habits, hobbies, what they're up to after the end of their respective series, etc. Love your work you badass person you 😤

i can try to think of a few, though i don't really know much about Chaka.

Sale

-Even though I don't typically like family headcanons based on appearance alone (anime tends to be rather same-facey), I do like the idea of Sale being related to Squalo. I think they're cousins, and Squalo initially got Sale involved in passione, though Sale is unaware his actual position and thinks he just works for a higher raking capo.

-While he does smoke pot occasionally, I think his choice of drug is actually whippits. Makes fun of Zucchero for drinking lean but has done it in the past.

-In the sense of stands having physiological significance and symbolism to their user, Sale’s Kraftwerk is representive of his ambition to rise above his current, steady but unfulfilling lifestyle. Kraftwerks ability on paper seems to be almost useless compared to “grander” stands like golden experience, or lacks a clear function like moody blues or Rolling Stones. A lot of creativity is required make proper use of it, which sale demonstrates, just as a lot of creativity is needed to rise above social and economic classes in life, since more often than not hard work or talent alone is not enough. Sale is a person that feels stuck, and knowing the feeling myself, it’s very easy to turn negative emotions into spiteful ones.

-I think he’s middle/lower class and bored, but unlike zucchero who joined for excitement and money, Sale craves the feeling of both importances and respect. I think he takes himself and his minor job in passione too seriously.

Chaka

-imma be honest I Do Not Think Of Him all that often.

-I do think he had the potential to be a stand user on his own if he had been hit by the arrow. If the whole “stand users are attracted to each other” thing is to be true, then he was always more likely to run into Anubis.

-On a similar note, I did always wonder if Anubis was made of the same material as the arrow head. Supposedly he works very simailr to cheap trick, another possessive stand, and it may be that he possesses people by turning them into stand users and taking the place of their stand. Just a thought.

-He seems like he may have been sheltered as a kid and then left with his father when he was older and thus didn’t grow up and become accustomed and hardened to his behavior.

-I honestly thought polnareff killed him during that fight but the wiki says he was merely immobilized, so going with that. He has no memory of what happened while he was possessed by anubis and the injury left him permanently disabled and unable to work. He receives disability payments, but unknown to him, it is on behalf of the speedwagon foundation.

#im sorry this is very short #jjba #jojo's bizzare adventure vento aureo #jojo's bizarre adventures #jojos bizarre adventure stardust crusaders #jjba chaka #jjba sale #shittys jojo headcanons

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animereaderinsertwriter · 2 years

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Hey Princess (Jean Kirstein x Reader)

Part IV

Part I

Part II

Part III

Description: Jean Kirstein is the drummer and songwriter for The 104th, a band he's put his heart and soul into. (Y/N) is his best friend, an aspiring cafe owner who supports him in every way she can. This is their story of rags to riches; or, how both of them realize that there might be more to life than their ambitions, and that they might have been in love all along.

Warnings/Tags: Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut, Probably alcohol use? idk, havent written that far. This fic is pretty tame, so not a lot going on here.

Excerpt: As she made all the sandwiches her friends ordered, (Y/N) couldn’t help but wonder when they had gotten this bad, her feelings for him. In the beginning, it had started as a teeny, tiny crush— a shallow, unassuming reaction to having been introduced to a handsome stranger by a suggestive Sasha— but then (Y/N) had learned more about Jean, had gotten to know him, had stayed up all night with him on Connie and Sasha’s rooftop and talked with him until their voices were gone and the sun was rising to meet the city’s skyline, and slowly but surely, she’d fallen in love with him. Now, just watching him smile was enough to constrict her throat, and brushing hands with him felt like sunburn on her brain. Really, it was almost pathetic— but (Y/N) didn’t care. Jean was more worthy of her love than anyone she had ever met (his long-standing crush on Mikasa notwithstanding) and she’d be damned if she’d be ashamed of it.

ao3 link here

“Jean— oh— are you sure about— mmh—”

There was a point to what she was trying to say. (Y/N) knew there was. Only, it just seemed a little less important with every stroke of his fingers against that wonderful spot inside her that made her squirm.

“Everyone else is setting up,” he grinned, withdrawing sticky fingers from her core before sucking them into his own mouth, tasting her with a wicked gleam in his soft amber eyes. “They’ll never miss us.”

That was patently false— Eren was probably raising hell right now about Jean being late— but (Y/N) didn’t care.

“Fuck me,” she pleaded, scrabbling at his shoulders. "I want you, Jean."

She didn't have to say it twice. Jean reached down below the hem of her pretty red striped sundress and lifted her, holding her weight with one arm as he worked his belt with the other. How he did it was beyond (Y/N)— but then he was entering her, his fat tip breaching her, and nothing else mattered.

Long distance for a while had made (Y/N) and Jean hungry for one another— but it would no longer. Tonight was The 104th's last show for a while. All the members had been burned out with the lifestyle, each of them in a different way, and it was time to take a break from the constant traveling and performing.

As Jean kissed her neck, working his way up to her ear, (Y/N) couldn’t help but think that it was worth it, waiting for Jean, longing for him while he was away. He was perfect for her, and she for him, and together, they would get their happily ever after, like all princess stories end.

Tag list: @usernamehere91

#attack on titan #aot x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein x reader #fluff #aot smut #aot fanfiction #aot imagine #shingeki no kyoujin #snk #snk x y/n #snk x reader

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

Note

Seeing how many ppl asked for matchups I got curious.... idk why I was so hesitant at first but lets go (if someone recognises me from this no you don't, my identity is a mystery shush)

Both romantic and platonic are fine, whichever you find works best honestly! I’m lesbian but I don’t mind being paired with men since this is all fictional anyways.

Alright so. I’m an ISTP-T and my one hobby is drawing (unless daydreaming for hours on end counts as a hobby). I’m an introvert and I have lots of trouble with opening to new ppl but I really cherish the friends I do manage to make. I love living in my own little world and thinking about my ocs who are basically one of the only thing that truly makes me happy and I love imagining a cosy little future for myself even though I have no real ambitions beside continuing to draw and getting better at it.

I’m very good at school stuff and all (I’m a genius but also rlly dumb and uncultured and lazy), I’m very stressed all the time, I often dislike elements about myself like my appearance or my personality and I’m kind of a cleaning freak. If there’s one thing I hate about ppl it’s ppl who don’t put in the effort to better themselves and their surroundings. If there’s one thing I love about ppl it’s ppl who take the time to understand others and still try their best when things are hard. I think having some kind of drive, even if it’s not what’s considered as a « noble goal » and may seem insignificant or silly is admirable.

Something I think is important to know is I despise the idea of the tranquil committed lifestyle as a concept in fictional stuff (I don’t really mind it irl but a matching would count as fictional so I’m adding it to this). For reference Saeran’s normal ending made me want to tear my brain out of my head bc of how torturingly boring that life would be. The idea of not having any option to get out of something is something that terrifies me which makes me hate when characters talk about getting married, having children, etc. The fact I move very slow when it comes to romantic stuff doesn’t help and is my main problem with the mysme cannon route bc dude we’ve known each others for less than two weeks.

Now this is only about fictional characters so I don’t know how relevant it is, but one thing about me is I have terrible taste. Irredeemable villains? Give them to me. Characters that are universally hated and are so one dimensional it’s laughable? Come here babe, I’ll invent you a whole backstory and make you my favourite character. Maybe I’m a contrarian, maybe I just like blank slate characters bc it gives me room to write them how I like them, maybe my gay awakening being through the bullies/rivals in otome games permanently affected me. But there is nothing more shameful to me than the characters I do actually end up liking.

Anyways that’s it I don’t want to rant too much about myself. I rlly like your writing and I’d like you to know you have inspired at least a hundred hours of daydreaming (though most of it used your aus as base and just expanded on them by going completely off script. But know that I mean this with tremendous respect and it doesn’t take just any old fanfic to get my brain engine going that hard)

I match you with...

Yoosung!

You view the world in a very particular way. You like things to happen realistically. You don't want a suspension of reality. You want to put in the effort even if that takes a lot longer than it would for other people. You just want to know that what you're getting into is going to work out for you, and there's really nothing wrong with that at the end of the day. Everybody has a comfort zone and you know what yours is. You should commend yourself from being able to understand what it is that you want. With that in mind, you need somebody cut understands your perspective and wouldn't try to push you into a corner.

You're going to have to hear me out on this one because you might not get it at first. If there's one thing that we know about Yoosung, it’s that he’s driven. He gets a little lost in life because of his grief but that doesn't mean that he gives up on everything. He struggles to find himself and it's thanks to your compassion that he's able to have a better understanding of himself and the things that he wants.

His route if given a bit more time would realistically work out for you. Because it goes in such a way where you start out as laughing together as friends before he formally ask if he can be your pre-boyfriend instead of your boyfriend. This would be his first relationship so it makes sense. You're going to work with him slowly on this to build an interesting relationship. You're testing the waters and it's not as if you're exactly dating, but it's figuring out if that's something that you want to do.

You and Yoosung could drive each other to your passions and goals. It feels like that would be a nice balance for you, regardless of if you were to date or not at the end of the day. A little optimism would never hurt so Yoosung would be the counter to your realism. It’s nice to have someone who believes in you no matter what happens, y’know? Be grounded but hopeful, that’s what Yoosung does for you.

#anon #ask #mod kait #matchup #I can only wonder which AU did it

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 2 years

Note

How to identify if the objective and realistic outlook someone has it's due to high Te vs high Se? I have this friend I've been trying to type for years, who clearly has Te/Fi, being all about the facts and reality, but also has very strong ethical boundaries she won't cross. But beyond that is difficult to gauge what she is using, because there's a lot of contradiction: Unless someone has really offended or hurt her she's very logical and objective when making decisions, comes across as 1/7

unemotional most of the times unless it's anger or excitement. While she has confessed to suffering through her songs, I've never seen any sign of it, never seen her cry in years of friendship, won't ever discuss her feelings. But she also greatly lacks drive and the discipline to go after her ambitions. She wanted to be an artist when younger, but after her mom told her it was a terrible idea an she wouldn't be able to handle the difficulties of this lifestyle she gave up, and never found 2/7

another goal to replace it (possibly because it seems clear she still dreams of being an artist). Vicariously lives the life she's dreamed of through the artists she follows, once admitted she images herself in their shoes all the time. She's very demanding of herself and others when working in projects and she wants things she produces, even simple ones like baking a cake, to meet her high standards (she told me when she started cooking as a tween and things seem to be going wrong she'd cry 3/7

as if was the end of the world and had to be calmed down).Yet for a long time she struggled to force herself to do chores (seems to have gotten over it lately), and spends the brunt of her time researching and enjoying her personal interests, doesn't seem to miss working at all (she's been unemployed for a good while). But while she doesn't seem concerned with making money herself and relies on her parents, she's actually better than them at managing money, and paying bills. She's quite 4/7

categorical and uncompromising, very critical of both others and herself. Once described herself as a closeted drama queen: we don't see it, but she's very dramatic on the inside. Makes friends easily but admits it's mostly superficial, since she rarely feels an actual connection to others, breaks off relationships easily and never looks back. Is a very good leader who knows how to allocate resources and structure a project, but it's always reluctant to accept the position, says it's very 5/7

taxing because people either won't pull their weight or are incompetent. She's very social and loves to have fun, but is also reserved and highly values privacy: she gets offended if asked questions about intimate matters like her sex life. Is adaptable and free flowing but not impulsive at all, prefers to know what she's getting into and prepare before things. Is assertive and can be very authoritative, but unless it affects her has a I don't care about what others do with their lives 6/7

attitude. Says she doesn't get those who obsess over the meaning of life since to her it's blatantly obvious: life's purpose is to enjoy it, find your happiness. I've contemplated ESFP for the obvious Fi/Te, realistic, enjoy the pleasures of the world nature, but I don't know about inferior Ni: she understands and trusts the abstract a good deal (and is great at predicting things), also not impulsive. ExTJ is unlikely: doesn't prioritize being productive, though the exacting attitude fits. 7/7

-------------------

So, fundamentally, you cannot tell the source of someone’s behaviors down to the individual function. Typing needs to look at individual behaviors and then consider what fits that combination, so it’s more important to see if there are additional behaviors that support high Te or additional behaviors that support high Se (or behaviors that indicate she doesn’t have one of those functions than focusing on the original behavior.

The Te-Fi axis seems reasonable but it’s not necessarily so, and keeping an open mind about that may help. I don’t really see the contradiction here; it sounds like she’s fairly private about her emotions and admits to them only through art, which is pretty normal. Having high standards for herself also seems consistent.

The part about difficulty with chores and being unemployed really requires much more context - was this depression or ADHD? Is living with your parents fairly acceptable culturally? Is she busy with non-employment projects? Te users tend not to like doing absolutely nothing but to be perfectly honest I don’t know if I’d work per se if I were fabulously rich or had a reliable source of passive income - I’d volunteer and have many hobbies, but I’m not a 3-core enneagram, I do not need to be incredibly rich or the most powerful. I like my job, but I’m not interested in being the CEO. Ambition and high Te are not necessarily synonymous; it’s just that in many cultures (and notably the US) ambition and financial/professional success are the go-to external standards, and many ExTJs are 3-cores.

The part about good leadership but not wanting to be the leader fits with either low Te or introversion, and given that she makes friends easily I’m inclined to think low Te over introversion.

It’s difficult to say because there aren’t any clear examples on “adaptable and free-flowing but not impulsive” nor about “trusts the abstract” (I am constantly stunned by what people think is abstract) but I think she is probably an ESFP who is fairly smart and private with her personal life; the part about not caring about what others are doing and not stressing about the meaning of life coupled with everything above fits that quite well. I would add that predicting things often requires close observation: high Ni users get credit for predicting things because they do so unconsciously and intuitively and as such can occasionally get uncannily correct predictions that few others see; but in terms of regular everyday predictions, high Ni kind of sucks and high sensing tends to excel.

#mbti #esfp

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annaschampagneproblems · 5 months

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Well, I’ll be on my way now

a note on 2023, 2024, and what came before it

the first three years of my teenage life have been years of constant growth. my goals were constantly changing, as was my identity, but ultimately everything brought me to this point. I obviously wasn’t expecting or predicting being here, mostly because I was so long sighted and didn’t really see being 16 as important. I could treat 2024 as another year of personal development, but something is telling me that 2024 is the year i put what i’ve learned into practice.

this year especially, people revealed themselves to me. a lot. whether they did it consciously or not, I learned that i don’t know anybody who i need to be afraid of. I also learned that people respect and admire me (and have done for a long, long time) way more than I thought. so basically, I don’t see myself being preoccupied with other people’s opinions much next year. this year showed me a version of me that I love, and that’s all that really matters.

what I’m really saying here is that, despite how much i’ve changed and grown since 2021, it has all practically been one phase of my life. 2024 would be the first year truly distinct from the last few of my life. different friends, different goals, different lifestyle, different interests. different opinions. even my thoughts are different. what i think distinguishes me the most from me in the past few years is the respect i have for each younger version of me. I used to be ashamed and regretful of who I was. while that’s reasonable, I don’t see things like that anymore. I can admire those past versions of me as well as seeing the strong parts of myself in her. essentially, the security and familiarity i have with myself now translates into seeing the best in the versions of me i hated.

there are new parts of myself that weren’t there before as well. my discipline and work ethic are both new. my boldness. my faith and trust in myself. my commitment. I think that these traits are manifestations of my mental progress over the last few years, and that’s another reason I feel different.

i used to be scared of going “off track” and not doing the things i set my heart on doing. it was being a fashion designer for a while (lol). in hindsight, I definitely just needed a big ambition to passively teach me to overcome the things that would hold me back later. wanting something that seemed out of reach meant jumping through so many hurdles and facing so many parts of me that I would’ve never addressed otherwise. I probably wouldn’t have turned into a girl who is this strong and powerful without that experience. i think that’s what it was for, more than actually becoming a fashion designer. don’t stress, little me.

I figure there’s a reason I recognised the distinction between me now and me before at this point in the year. It’s time for a completely fresh start and a different approach because I am the person I wanted to be for so long now. I used to be motivated by becoming someone else. but now i’m motivated by using who I am to get what I want. so, I am now saying goodbye to who I was. not because I don’t like her. I love her the way she deserves to be loved (so so much). but i don’t think i’m meant to sit at this table anymore. i have somewhere else to be now.

I’m honestly excited to see who I’ll become next year because I like who I ended up being this year, and because I am going somewhere completely new. bring it on.

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alokastrology1 · 1 year

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Astrological Remedies for Success in Love and Compatible Zodiac Signs

Are you struggling to find success in your love life? Have you tried everything, but still can’t seem to find the right partner or make a relationship work? It could be time to look into effective remedies. Astrology has long been used as a tool to understand the complexities of human relationships. By analysing the positions and movements of celestial bodies at the time of your birth, astrologers can gain insight into your personality, strengths, weaknesses, and compatibility with other signs.

Know about Spiritual and Astrological Remedies. Get an online astrology consultation by the world-renowned Astrologer Mr. Alok Khandelwal.

Spiritual and Astrological Remedies:

So, take a look at some spiritual and astrological remedies that can help you find success in love life that you deserve:

Perform Puja:

Puja and mantras are powerful spiritual tools that can help you attract love and positive energy into your life. Perform puja or worship rituals to Lord Shiva or Goddess Parvati, who are considered the ultimate deities of love and relationships.

Chant Mantras:

Chanting mantras like the Gayatri mantra or the mantra of Venus (Shukra) can also bring love and harmony into your life.

Compatibility of Zodiac Signs:

Knowing about your zodiac sign and the signs of your potential partners can help you understand your compatibility and improve your chances of success in love. For instance, Aries and Leo are highly compatible signs, while Taurus and Aquarius may face more challenges in a relationship.

Get a prescribed remedy done if you have Mars dosha, 40+ panellists are available for your needs.

Wear a Gauri Shankar Rudraksha and offer Red Shawl to Durga Mata which will get you the desired person.

Read Also:- What is the Importance of Hanuman Jayanti?

Best Zodiac Signs for Compatibility

Aries – Sagittarius are excellent companions since they are both adventurous and outspoken; the two will keep each other going. For similar reasons, Gemini is an excellent match, whereas Libra might form a friendship based on mutual respect and understanding.

Taurus – The two earth signs, Capricorn and Virgo, complement Taurus well since they have the same essential nature. (This is the essence of astrological compatibility.) Cancer is also an excellent choice since they are as passionate and compassionate as Taurus and take their commitment to their loved ones just as seriously. Gemini – Libra is well matched to Gemini, the Twins’ sign, since she can see both sides of any debate. Moreover, Sagittarius and Aquarius share Gemini’s intellectual curiosity and urge for adventure.

Cancer – Scorpio and Pisces, two very perceptive and sensitive signs, will value Cancer’s affection and loyalty. Virgo, like Cancer, enjoys nurturing and appreciating a dependable mate.

Leo – Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Gemini all share Leo’s ambitions and energy, making them excellent mates. Of course, zodiac compatibility isn’t always enough to prevent a fight—but knowing the optimum days to accomplish particular activities might help you avoid certain stumbling blocks.

Virgo – Capricorn shares Virgo’s fondness of hard work and creating objectives. Taurus and Scorpio are passionate and trustworthy prospective companions. While they may not have the same North Star, Virgo admires the idea that each of these signs has its own set of rules to live by.

Libra – his zodiac sign will get along well with an Aries or an Aquarius, who will present an interesting challenge and intellectual engagement.

Scorpio – Pisces and Cancer signs are eager to form the strong ties that Scorpio secretly desires. Virgo is attempting to solve the problem, while Scorpio is seeking long-term investment that demonstrates the nurturing earth sign and the type of loyal relationship Scorpio requires.

Sagittarius – Gemini would undoubtedly connect with that sort of curious and lively lifestyle. Aries, another dynamic sign, may also be able to lend a strong, guiding hand when one is required.

Capricorn – Virgos and other Capricorns like and respect this sign’s determination, and they understand the need to be flawless.

Aquarius – They will get along best with its own sign or with a Gemini who is similarly enthusiastic and quick-witted. Libra, a believer in justice and a lover of knowledge, shares Aquarius’ humanitarian tendencies.

Pisces – Scorpio and Cancer, like Pisces, place a high value on emotional bonds. Scorpio is particularly appreciative of this sign’s capacity to ponder and live abstractly.

If you want to learn about the most compatible Zodiac signs according to Guna Milan, you can check our article about the same.

In addition to these remedies, it’s important to work on yourself and your own energy to attract positive relationships into your life. Focus on self-improvement, cultivate a positive mindset, and be open to new experiences and people.

If you’re interested in learning more about astrology, consider taking a free astrology course with Asttrolok. Our basic courses can help you start learning the basics of astrology, while our consultation services offers personalised and effective solutions to all your problems in life.

Read Also:- Solar New Year 2023 and Its Connection to Astrology

#astrological remedies #Best astrologer online consultation #online astrology prediction #Remedies #Remedies for Success in Love #Success in Love 2023 #Success in Love and Compatible #talk to astrologer #zodiac #ZODIAC SIGNS #astrology #asttrolok

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govtdebtreliefa · 2 years

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How to get rich quick: The ultimate guide to riches and Power

If you want to be one of the rich and powerful, you need to learn how to make money. That’s right, if you want to be somebody who has it all—the house, the cars, the girls, and the riches. There are a few things you need in order to make that happen. You need some knowledge, some connections, and some luck. And if you can combine all three of those together, you’re on your way to becoming one of the richest people on earth. In this guide we'll take a look at what makes millionaires so special, and how you can become one too.

How to Make Money Fast.

There are a number of ways to make money from home. One way is to start your own business. Start by creating an online presence and selling products or services that you know people will love. You can also offer content marketing services, write articles, or take on other freelance projects to help build your brand and name recognition. If you have a network of friends and family members who are interested in what you’re doing, the possibilities are endless.

How to Make Money in the Workplace

Another great way to make money is through the workplace. Many people start their own businesses by looking for jobs in their field of interest. You can search job postings online or contact company representatives directly to inquire about opportunities or inquire about salary requirements. If you have some skills that would be valuable to a company, you can offer your services as a consultant or freelance writer.

How to Make Money by Investing in the Stock Market

One final option for making money is through investing in the stock market. This involves buying shares of companies that are doing well and holding them until they reach a high value so that you can sell them at a higher price and make profits. There are many websites that allow you to invest in stocks quickly and easily, so it’s definitely an option worth exploring!

How to Get Rich Quick.

One of the most important steps in getting rich quick is making a deposit into a stock or mutual fund. By doing this, you’ll be able to buy shares of the company at a fraction of the cost and help pay for your investment over time.

Invest in the Stock Market

Another key step is investing in the stock market. By doing this, you’ll be able to make money by buying and selling stocks on the open market. The more money you can bring in each day, the more money you can afford to spend on other items in your budget.

Get Rich Slowly

Slowly gaining wealth isn’t as easy as it seems. You won’t just suddenly become wealthy overnight – rather, it will require some patience and effort over time. To make sure that you have enough money to live comfortably whileyou continue to make progress towards riches, aim to achieve financial stability first. This means having an emergency fund set up and saving regularly so that you don’t have to rely on short-term financial gains for your long-term needs.

Learn How to Invest for the Long Term

Last but not least, it’s important to learn how to invest for the long term. This means finding a way to invest money that will give you long-term growth, rather than just short-term profits. By doing this, you’ll be able to achieve financial stability and riches without having to worry about stocks or the stock market.

riches and Power: How to Get Rich Quick.

No matter what you’re looking to do in life, make sure you have your own set of rules. This way, if and when something goes wrong (and you know it will), you can always blame yourself rather than someone else.

Get The Power to Make Money

The first step to riches and power is getting the power to make money. This means takingCharge ofYourLife, setting your own goals, and living a disciplined lifestyle that supports your ambitions.

Take Charge of Your Life

Finally, it’s important to take charge of your life and live a purpose-driven existence that supports your passions and goals. By doing this, you’ll be on the path to riches and power!

Conclusion

The three main ways to make money quickly are through making a deposit in the stock market, investing in the stock market, and learning how to invest for the long term. While each method has its own benefits and drawbacks, it's important to be proactive and take control of your life so that you can make a real impact on your financial future.

#make money quickly

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sunraybby · 2 years

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Between leaping and falling - part I

There are these points in my life where the continuous changes are sweeping the ground from under my feet. It feels like I am leaping and falling, filling me with excitement and fear at the same time. Everything is transforming, all the time. And even though I want things to change, to evolve, I have a hard time with keeping my balance and staying grounded.

It's like the Universe doesn't plan on throwing just one curve ball at a time my way. Every single time some major change shows its face, it brings forth many, many more.

It makes me realize how quickly I am willing to throw things out of the window that I deemed to be important once, now treating them as insignificant. Like my health, eating and sleeping habits, schedule and structure, hobbies and passions, social life and responsibilities.

It induces stress inside of me, and self-criticism, a voice inside my head telling me that I am not as put-together as I might seem. People's first impression of me is usually one of someone who is organized, responsible, grown-up. The truth is, I can't keep that up. After some months I always fall into that inevitable pit of chaos, and every time I have to build a new ladder to get out.

Lately, circumstances have confronted me with this aspect of myself that I have repressed or avoided to come to terms with. I love to claim that I have the capacity to create structure out of chaos, even helping others cleaning up their mess. But, I have come to the realization that I have a big tendency to be irresponsible, and I know that I judge myself subconsciously because of that.

The way I have started noticing was subtle at first. I had to check myself a few months ago on being to harsh to my new partner, wanting him to "get his shit together" and "make something out of his life," telling him to "break old comfort zones and patterns," and ultimately giving him the feeling that he was not good enough for me, that he had to change his ways to be a suitable partner for me.

Relatively quickly, I put two and two together, seeing that the harsh and direct criticism I gave him, was ironically a projected insecurity about myself. I never looked myself in the mirror, telling myself that I was irresponsible, or to break out of the very obvious comfort zones that I am still in to this day.

Yet, one comfort zone I have been growing out of, my old ways of having a relationship, my interpretation of terms like love, partnership and romance, has been a gateway to seeing things in a much more clearer light.

I have learned to love differently, to accept my partner and his flaws, not wanting to control the narrative or cling onto toxic situations or having attachment issues and insecurities. The relationship I am in today is so peaceful, but eye-opening at the same time, that I have found space to truly transform together with my partner.

Now, I have always had the impression that the type of guys I attracted were Peter Pan's and I was their (more responsible) Tinkerbell, making it more easier to accept adult responsibility and kind of taking up a motherly, nurturing role, taking things out of their hands to let them enjoy that eternal child spirit.

As above so below, now I can see that I, myself, am a very sneaky Peter Pan, pretending to be okay with adulting and the lifestyle that it brings, yet, subconsciously having a huge amount of resistance to actually behaving like an adult.

It's a mechanism based on fear. The fear of behaving like a responsible woman, protecting and nourishing her body and well-being while going after her dreams and ambitions.

The reason why I have this fear obviously dates back to childhood, but more so, it really rooted in my teenage years to early twenties. In that period, I really started to embody a huge irresponsibility towards myself and my life choices, as my household system did not provide me with a healthy sense of self-worth, rather, a huge amount of doubt surrounding my importance in my parents' life, in this world even, and thus, it made me shout and act out desperately to find some sort of confirmation.

For a couple of years, I was a reckless girl, getting herself into iffy situations, not thinking about the consequences, and consiquently, completely destroying anything that was left of my self-esteem and respect. I got myself into debt, ruined my college studies, abused multiple substances, got addicted to smoking, didn't regard my bodily needs, had constant licentious sexual encounters, and neglected my family bonds. Escaping from my reality (and responsibility) was much more important to me than keeping a job, or maintaining a stable income, or just having a structured lifestyle that I could build on.

As a reaction to those "wild' years," I retaliated against myself, and I became fearful of risk, fearful of the unknown, fearful of the future, completely consumed by the past and wanting to control my life, obsessively wanting nothing to change ever again.

This made me cling onto very damaging and destructive relationships and friendships, stagnant toxic family bonds, being stuck in a studio appartment for 6 years because I was too afraid to move, and working a job that drained the life force right out of me.

And there comes life with the slaps in your face. You can't control your narrative. In trying to do so, you resist life itself. In resisting life, you will indirectly create collisions, blow-ups and breakdowns in order for yourself to see that you have no way to "keep things as they were."

The thing is, back then, I was not able to see that the circumstances that I was so desperately trying to preserve, were really not serving me. I have lived 25 years of my life in almost solely toxic environments, thinking that they were good for me. With people that, in retrospect, were more lessons than life paths, yet thinking they were "meant to be," "soulmates," or "friends for life."

It's just delusion to be honest, and that is not something anyone should blame themselves for. You are simply not able to spot the difference if you haven't yet come to a point where the illusion is smashed and shattered.

I was so consumed with finding external love because of this never ending internal lack from it, that I couldn't see al the other aspects that I was neglecting in this human experience. I have been hyper focused on relationships for all my life, craving a life-partner, whilst not being aware of the fact that, in those years, I was clearly not ready to be one myself.

The frustrations and pains that arose because of that, were sometimes just too much to handle. I found myself with my hands in my hair, bashing my head against to wall, wondering what I was doing wrong.

And now, because of my attention being redirected, and the spotlight taken away from romantic relationships and onto me, now I am able to focus on the fears that have been there for ages, but had been overshadowed by the fear of not being loved, and the deep need of external attention and confirmation.

Now that I am in a normal, healthy, loving relationship, with two people sharing the same amount of respect, self-love, need for space and open communication - now, I don't have my head turned or focused there and it's all on me and my life choices.

#growing #healing #diary

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elysiansparadise · 2 years

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Couples that I like pt. 2

Scorpio Mars + Virgo Mars

The attraction between them is lethal, according to them they show interest in a very discreet way, but the reality is that anyone could notice it because of that spark that is seen in their eyes when crossing the other's. The atmosphere becomes tense between them, but it's a surprisingly pleasant tension. Both are able to nurture and bring out their most passionate side with each other, Scorpio Mars can bring out the wild and seductive side of Virgo Mars, while Virgo Mars can drive them crazy. It's amazing the way they have to stay in each other's mind for so long. They can be very compatible since neither of them feels the need to reveal much of their intentions, problems or desires with other people, discretion and mystery are some of the many things that this couple has in common.

Libra Sun + Pisces Sun

Despite the differences in elements and modalities, both can connect quite well. Libra Sun will feel a natural affection and pay special attention to the peculiar way of expressing themselves of Pisces Sun, while Pisces Sun will intoxicate Libra Sun with compliments, support and affection. Both will seek to be there for each other and may love those moments of silence that do not feel awkward with the other. They make each other laugh very easily and awaken the protective sense of the other, in addition to the fact that they may have many tastes in common and hobbies that they will enjoy doing together. Details and touching gestures abound among them. They will always try to listen carefully before saying or deciding something important, they will seek to mediate the situation as much as possible and it will be easy for them to be demonstrative with each other.

Aquarius Mars + Pisces Mars

They have much more in common than it seems. In general terms, they get along very well, they like to think of doing a greater good, they usually have a similar sense of humor and they can solve any problem in a calm and peaceful way. They both love to make their environment fun and interesting instead of awkward and tumultuous, they are both original and like to try new things. In terms of ambition, they are very dreamy and will always seek to go after what they want with determination and passion, they may have many similar interests and long-term goals. On the sentimental and sexual level they are very charming and original, they love to surprise each other and the other's smile will be the reason for theirs, they like to talk and listen to the other talk about their goals, they feel a mixture of admiration and charm. They are very experimental and the room will always be an intense, interesting and very experimental place. They will make sex fun.

Gemini Rising + Capricorn Rising

They are quite similar despite making a possible quincunx, and once they put aside their differences, they can bring many wonderful things to the life of another. Capricorn Rising will be fascinated by the abilities of Gemini Rising, he will seem to him to be a very charming and skillful person in social situations and he will greatly admire his way of thinking and seeing things. While Gemini Rising will have a lot of respect for Capricorn Rising, they will like to learn from them and they will see you as having a highly admirable work ethic, personality, and manner of acting. Gemini Rising can help Capricorn Rising get out of their routine, brighten his days with ease, see things from a different perspective and show him that he has the most fun and unique partner. Capricorn Rising can give Gemini Rising emotional and mental stability, as well as a willingness to help him at all times. Gemini Rising will be very drawn to Capricorn, as Capricorn in their chart may fall in the 8th, causing the "I don't really understand it, but I want to understand it." While Capricorn may want to include Gemini in their lives since Gemini may fall in the 6th, house of routine and lifestyle.

Pisces Sun + Sagittarius Sun

These two are a great duo, it is not surprising because they are ruled by Jupiter, these two dream together, laugh together and despite the square, they may come to enjoy each other's company a lot. They feel that they can be very open and love to make each other's day. The routine with them vanishes, and they seem to be at game time or in a dream when they are with the other, they hype the other with ease, and it is that they can become the inspiration of the other. Teasing, loving, thinking, feeling, regardless of the distance or their differences, they can end up loving each other very much. Sagittarius will not be afraid to be obvious or direct with their feelings, while Pisces will give you a sense of utopia and euphoria that you have never experienced before. Both of you can love to take trips together, explore each other and explore yourself when you are with the other person. A feeling of catharsis when they are with each other, an inner charge of their battery.

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sundayswiththeilluminati · 3 years

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I LOVE your meta on how essek was the perfect asset and want to ask the follow-up question in your tags: how do you think it went down? The agreement between Essek and the Assembly? And I think the fandom was convinced Essek would be disposed of after the peace talks — how do you see his future if there was no intervention by the Mighty Nein in 97?

ruvi-muffin asked:

What are your specific thoughts abt how ludinus recruited essek??👀👀 oh Person who knows a surprising amount of spy stuff 🙏🙏🙏👀👀👀

Anonymous asked:

PLEASE share your specific thoughts about how Essek was recruited, I'm so intrigued!

Anonymous asked:

Hello yes i am very interested in these very specific thoughts about how Essek got recruited? All these things about how actual intelligence works/uses their assets/how that ties to Essek and the M9 is really interesting :D

Thank you all so much for asking me the specific question I wanted someone to ask. I had to write and rewrite this post a half-dozen times because I kept going off on tangents about other Cold War spy stories so trust me there’s plenty more where this came from.

For reference, my original post on what made Essek an ideal recruitment target and why the M9 were the ideal counter to it.

First off, this is all based on real-world intelligence ops and is only as relevant to the campaign as Matt Mercer cares to make it. Having said that *slams notebook on table* BUCKLE UP, KIDDOS.

There are two ways Essek may have been recruited: he approached the Assembly or the Assembly approached him. I think the Assembly approached him. Not to be too hard on the guy, but Essek said it himself: he’s kind of a coward. I can’t see him mustering up the nerve to take that first step. Plus his espionage seems to have focused specifically on the beacons rather than dunamancy as a whole; that sounds like the Assembly to me. The beacons specifically offer the prospect of immortality and the Cerberus mages are arrogant enough to assume they can figure out dunamancy themselves if they have a beacon in hand. There’s no way the Assembly haven’t been trying to beg, borrow, or steal those beacons for centuries. Essek may not have even been their first try - just the first that worked.

Chronologically, Essek would have popped up on either the Assembly or the Augen Trust’s radar quite early as I assume they keep tabs on all powerful Dynasty mages. As they followed his career, the Assembly would have ID’d Essek as a perfect target for recruitment as a spy, and then further for ego-based recruitment. Recruitment for espionage is a slow process - even slower in a fantasy world where some races reasonably expect to live 500+ years. Many intelligence agencies will do a sort of light meet-and-greet just to start a file on various people who might years later be of interest. The Assembly would have cultivated Essek as an intelligence asset with the same degree of time and care - and using some of the same methods - that Trent used to turn the Blumenthal trio into assassins.

If they followed a modern playbook, they would have made contact with Essek anywhere from 2 to 10 years before the theft - nothing underhanded. A Cerberus mage approaches him at a negotiation or conference and strikes up a conversation. Then it’s increasing “chance” encounters to get Essek familiar with the handler, play the “we’re both mages, really we’re on the same side” angle to earn enough sympathy & trust to start talking regularly. Once the channel’s open, the handler and asset meet and/or talk routinely while the handler assesses the target’s motives, weaknesses, and the possibility that they’re a double agent.

Espionage proper then starts with small favors, acts Essek can rationalize as victimless or even helpful to the Dynasty. In this stage the handler is getting the asset comfortable with engaging in espionage. They reward the asset for what feels like minimal moral trespass. For Essek that would have been praising his research, encouraging avenues of investigation they knew the Dynasty had shut down. Having meetings with Ludinus plays right into the ego trip - the Head of the Assembly himself is taking the time to meet with him! The Assembly gets how important this work is! That keeps Essek isolated from Dynasty members who might convince him to take a step back and builds loyalty to the Assembly over the Dynasty.

Once an asset settles in, espionage becomes easier. Routines get established. Moral hurdles have been overcome. Now the asks get bigger and the rewards get sparser. The handler will suggest larger acts just to get the asset thinking about them, since the more they consider “just hypothetically” how to pull it off, the more likely it is they’ll do it. This is where the idea of stealing the beacons would get introduced (though of course it’s been the goal all along.) I’ll bet the Assembly hinted at all the study that could be done if they could just get to the beacons in person, constantly bemoaning the lack of access. By now Essek sees the Assembly as colleagues in arcane pursuits, kindred minds, unlike the boring, stuffy old mages of the Dynasty. Of course he could outwit the Dynasty’s security and get the beacons to the Assembly - he’s a prodigy, a genius, everyone says so. And it’s not like he was stealing all of them. The consecuted would be fine. Everyone would be fine.

None of this is intended to absolve Essek of personal responsibility. But it provides a context for his actions, and for why he might regret them so much even though he apparently did them willingly. Asset handlers are very, very good at drawing someone willing to commit minor transgressions into far greater crimes. Look at how Trent shaped Caleb, Astrid, and Eadwulf. He didn’t order them to execute their own parents on day one. He spent years coaxing, tempting, and coercing them into darker and darker crimes, letting them rationalize their own actions at each step, preying on the same vulnerabilities as Essek: isolation (separating the three from other students, telling them their work was secret), ambition (the promise of great arcane power, of shaping the Empire’s destiny), and ego (”we were going to keep the empire safe,” telling them they were gifted, they were chosen).

So how do IRL spies rationalize their actions? Those who spy for reasons of conscience or ideology have done the rationalizing ahead of time, but everyone else has to get there somehow. Some who spy for revenge tell themselves it’s what their superiors deserve, while others tell themselves everyone’s doing it. Some just need a lie to get started (most commonly about who they’re spying for), while others have to keep up the charade all along. Let’s look at a few cases similar to Essek’s that demonstrate just how slippery the slope can be.

Aldrich Ames, a long-term CIA officer slash double agent for the KGB, got suckered in by thinking he could control the situation and wasn’t really hurting anyone. Ames had chronic financial trouble related to excessive drinking & his wife’s lavish lifestyle and in 1985 came up with a plan: he would essentially con the KGB by selling them a minor amount of classified info that he deemed “virtually worthless.” In April he set up the exchange and the KGB paid him $50,000, enough to satisfy his immediate debts. But after actually doing it Ames said he felt he’d now crossed a line he couldn’t step back from, and continued to sell information to the Soviets. By the time he was caught he had, by his own admission, compromised “virtually all Soviet agents of the CIA.”

While some assets just need a lie to get started, others require a delicate dance of self-delusion. Col. George Trofimoff was an Army officer who ran the center where would-be Soviet defectors were assessed & questioned. Trofimoff, a Russian émigré at a young age, was chronically in debt. In 1969 he renewed his acquaintance with his stepbrother back in Russia, now a bishop in the Russian Orthodox Church, and began to pass secrets in return for money - but he and his stepbrother never framed the transactions as such. Trofimoff described their meetings as, “very informal. ... First, it was just a conversation between the two of us. He would ask my opinion on this and that--then, he would maybe ask me, 'Well, what does your unit think about it?' Or, 'What does the American government think about it?’” His compensation was similarly informal: “I said I needed money. ... And he says, 'I tell you what, I'll loan it to you.' So he gave me, I think, 5,000 marks and then, it wasn't enough, because I needed more. ... Then he says, 'Well, you know, I'll tell you what. You don't owe me any money. And if you need some more, I can give you some more. Don't worry about it. You're going to have to have a few things, this and that.' And this is how it started.” Trofimoff could pretend to himself that he wasn’t really spying - just having a chat with his stepbrother - and wasn’t really getting paid for it - just borrowing a little money.

This got longer than I intended it to be and there’s still plenty to talk about, so I’ll save the rest for a second post. Next time: what happens long-term to espionage assets? And what happens if an asset regrets their actions and/or attempts to cut off contact with their handlers?

(This accidentally turned into a series on Essek & IRL espionage: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4)

#Critical Role #Essek Thelyss #tradecraft #mostly Cold-War-related tradecraft TBH #hot boi got ROLLED by the Assembly though #sounds like he didn't even get paid!#I do wonder at stealing TWO beacons though #why two? what was wrong with one?#maybe Essek was just showing off at that point #it's been a long pandemic

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