#lots of stuff is happening for me irl so not much energy or motivation... and having issues with time doesn't help | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

witchyspiritsims · 1 year

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Hellooooo, anyone out there remember me? It’s been almost a year since I’ve used this tumblr last - and over a year since I decided to start it.

As a bit of an explanation, I lost the Blackwood and AHC save files. Actually, I lost ALL my save files except some I’d backed up like three months prior or something. I’m not sure what happened but I put new CC into my game and when I started it up next just. Everything was wiped. I lost motivation after that and pretty much quit Sims 4. I switched to Sims 2 and really had a lot of fun!

Then my laptop broke. It stopped charging unless the charger was in a very specific position. We thought it was the charger itself so we bought a new one. Turns out it was the charging port. Online it said it had most likely come away from the motherboard. It’s been months since and I’ve been without a computer of my own.

That said, I’ve been using my husband’s desktop and it’s been a whole new experience for me. I’ve only ever had laptops. When he let me put sims on his computer it was like a totally different game. The graphics looked better, it ran so smoothly, and I could finally use reshade!!! I was so excited and it’s really given me my spark back for sims. So much so that I started an actual legacy challenge - The Sims in Bloom challenge. I had started the AHC before, but I never got very far into it since I lost my saves soon after. The Sims in Bloom legacy helped me really see the appeal of legacy challenges and I got pretty far in it before I found the Whimsy Challenge. Then my attentions shifted to that because I fell so deeply in love with it that it was all I could think about sometimes lmao.

But now I’ve found a new challenge and can feel myself wanting to get my grubby little hands on it. I read through the Crybaby Whims legacy last night and just. Wanted to start it so bad. But I know it’ll be like my other ones - I’ll play it till I find something better and then abandon it. I don’t want that to happen to my Whimsy legacy and I most definitely dont want it to happen to this one if I start it. So I’ve been thinking of bringing this simblr back to life. Maybe having the Crybaby Whims save as my simblr save, and the Whimsy save as my personal? Since I’m already almost finished with generation 1?

I also have to think about how I’ll be able to manage it. My depression has made my energy cap at like 5%. I’ve lost irl friendships bc I just can’t manage surviving and communicating at the same time anymore. Would adding an active simblr to my plate again be a good idea? I’m not sure, but I know I want to try it. I have this whole idea of making a cast list for the Crybaby legacy and how the drama of the first gen will start and I’m excited to FINALLY play with a teen because I haven’t played a teen at ALL since HSY came out. So I think what I’m going to do is…. Just post when I feel like! I was never a big simblr to begin with so it isn’t like I have dozens of people anxiously awaiting my posts. Especially since I’ve taken such a large break. I think I’ll kind of have to build back up again. Either way I’m not going to put so much pressure on myself to post here, and I think I’ll only use my twitter to announce posts and maybe chat with people here or there. Definitely don’t plan on getting into debates with people about the state of the sims or ea.

That’s just what I’m thinking about, anyway! Im getting a desktop of my own soon, so I might not start anything until then. Then again I’ll have to transfer stuff anyway. What’s the harm of another save file??

#thinking #thoughts with witchy #I will also have to remove the Blackwood and AHC and family tree pages #lol it’ll be funny if I post this and then this blog sits here unused for another year

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afreakingdork · 3 months

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I got so excited when I saw you updated Weak Spot that I actually almost puked while in the middle of reading 👍👍. Sorry I cant express how much I adore your work but you make really really really good stuff. Thats 3 reallys cuz I mean it a lot. Legitimately life changing I think I might even use the reader character and donnie as a reference point on how to approach communication better in the future, like, in general, not just in romantic relationships.

I think you're one of the very few long fic writers who my frustratingly impatient and short-attentioned brain was actually willing go wait for on every chapter, I've never read a fic that gripped me by the neck this strongly since I've left the Undertale fandom. Weak spot is just that good and I think I'll crave everything you have to provide as long as you're willing to share them with us readers.

Oh yeah and also as young adult I really look up to you btw, in general because I like the bright yet tempered energy you show through your posts and also I think your work ethic is admirable and the fact that you're very literate in the way you respond to ask as well (kind of expected since you're a seasoned writer after all, of course youre very literate), and also, as someone who's attempting to actually down my fic ideas and day dreams, I've recently been trying to look just a bit closer on your work and how you approach descriptions and dialogue and learn better that way, kind of like how artists do master studies and observe and attempt to replicate experienced artist's techniques, quirks and art style to apply to their own work as well. Currently I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that use of metaphors you do often to sort of indirectly and almost abstractly describe what someone is going through, like in this week's chapter 56 where Donnie's self exploration is described as a journey with Reader simply accompanying them to a certain point. This is my favorite part in each chapters you write and I know there's a term for this technique but that might distract me from my train of thought so uhm. Make of that as you will I suppose.

I especially love how maturity really shines through your work and I love how slow and almost inconsequential/very normal (yet tremendously intimate) their daily life as a couple and honestly, in a lot of romance books I see I dont think they highlight that part enough and I'm so glad you let the readers breathe between chapters while still being able to build up tension when something bigs about to happen. I'm assuming (though I am pretty sure) that this is probably born from years and years of writing considering this is a type of writing paired with that mature energy I was picking up is something I could rarely find in the fics (or books in general) made by teens and people my age, and thats pretty incredible. I've never seen characters treated so very clearly lovingly before and whenever I compare my current work as of now it feels like playing in a kiddie pool then being met with the experience of looking on into the deep blue waters from the white beach then deciding to run to the sea to see the near-immortal multi-colored corals and all the beautiful thriving life underneath the waves. Its exhilarating really. Theres a depth in your work that makes it feel alive and almost timeless which I'm extremely motivated to achieve basically. Considering you've never let on or at least hinted that you're a professional writer irl or anything like that at all, and the fact that you somewhat implied you write because of passion is incredible because that means (this is all assumption of course) that you've likely been doing this stuff for years for free out of love and (likely) for yourself which is. Actually crazy honestly, as someone whos very prone to giving up even if I'm passionate about my work.

Okay, wait, this is getting too long, whoopsie.

I kinda want to say more but unfortunately I dont have the energy to type everything down since my mushy emotions about the fic are hard to pin down enough to make a coherent description right now. Ah and sorry if this ask gets a bit incoherent at times, english is my 2nd language and I'm also not very good at spelling either 😅.

But yeah.

Thank you for taking the time to make each chapter a wonderful, awe inspiring experience Miss Dork, you're a fantastic writer and I'm hoping I'll be able to see more of your fics/works in the future, even if its not in the Rottmnt fandom.

-K.M

First off KM, you are SO FREAKING SWEET!!! WHAT A TREAT IT WAS TO READ ALL THIS!!! YOU ARE TRULY DARLING AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!!

Ah no puke!! Was this chapter nerve wracking?? When I write I get a little removed so I don't really know sometimes what emotions it might illicit...

Life changing? Ahhh! 💞 They always say communication is key to a relationship and sometimes when people harp on something it's absolutely because it's true! A big part of Weak Spot is I wanted to challenge myself that the relationship itself was never a point of contention. These two loved each other right off the bat and them being together was never going to be something contested. Now everything around them happens to be an on and off dumpster fire, but c'est fiction~

Wah!!! I'm truly so honored by everyone who seems to wait on pin and poodles for my writing! I am constantly in awe that you all want to read my silly indulgent story!

You look up to me? I'm going to cry for real. No like, no joke, reading this actually is making me a bit choked up! 😭💞 I'd love to dive into my experience if it might help. I would not shun being called an experienced writer as it's something I've done on and off for almost two decades, but I only began writing seriously (read hyperfixiating) since 2019. Since I have zero chill, I sort of speed ran the writing process, but that's not what I attribute to my media literacy. I don't know if I'd call myself a hypercritical person (some would call me that for sure), but I have always loved to examine the media I consume. I can absolutely turn my brain off and have a good time (I have a long love affair with 'bad movies'), but I also love thinking and love expanding. When it came to reading, I often trend toward fiction books that talk about peoples lives, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe and Eva Luna by Isabel Allende come to mind, in addition to autobiographies such as Just Kids by Patti Smith. For visual media, my friends often like to joke that no one can pin down my style because I happen to like such a broad range of films. I think all movies are good in different ways, whether they are indie, autobiographical, fictional, magical, poignant, bro comedies, ect and so forth. You mentioned the recent chapter (56) with the field metaphor. I watched Lamb (2021) this past October and was picturing the large estate pictured Iceland when writing it.

I think studying others writing styles is good and I often do it to my peers. I've surely geeked out to both TheKingPen and desceros about their own writing styles and metaphors, the like, as you described of mine! I asked them probing questions on how they work because I was/am endlessly fascinated by their prose! We're all sponges, humans I mean, and I believe that our lives are pinball machines where we bounced wildly off one another. Only we are malleable creatures and with each ping, we take a little bit of that other person with us. Whether that be actual people or media consume, I consider that the same. We're tapestries to be woven as the Greeks said about fate and this fact isn't just romanticized, it's science as indicated by epigenetics!

The technique you're searching for sounds like one under the house of metaphor, maybe extended? 🤔

It's funny you call me mature because as soon as you said "slow and almost inconsequential/very normal (yet tremendously intimate) their daily life" I literally screamed and bounced as if my tail was wagging! Hello, you've tapped something Dork is feral about so prepare for another tangent:

I am OBSESSED with what I call banal dialog!!!

Now this is a point of contention with many of my movie friends, but I will die on this hill any day of the week. For this example, I'm going to take one of my favorites: Reservoir Dogs (1992)! Now do I like Reservoir Dogs? Honestly? Meh. I'll never forget their use of Steeler's Wheel, but that's not what's important here. What's important is the opening scene! We open on a seemingly innocuous and, to many, boring scene with eight gangster at a diner who aren't even talking about the heist. They're talking about other things and interacting with their food and the wait staff at the diner. Some think this scene is useless and doesn't do anything for the film and I will punch every one of those people in the face with my ferocity alone. That scene does EVERYTHING for the film. In fact is does the most heavy lifting out of most scenes in Hollywood. Sure, a monologue can do wonders or a silent following of a character through say their morning routine reveals a lot, but you know what really fucking reveals the most about a person? How they act in public!! The fact that Mr Pink doesn't tip isn't some fucking pseudo speak on tipping in America (though it could be) it's a jumping off point for you to know EVERYTHING about his character in one tiny itty bitty seemingly nothing display! We know he's staunch. We know he's steadfast. We know EVERYTHING we need to know about his personality and BONUS? Because he pushed back against the norm, every other character at the table (if they wanted) got a chance to voice their opionions so we got reads on all their personalities too. We see one many get easily swayed, we see another show his intelligence, we see yet another show the level of sympathy he has. All these things end up dictating how the heist in the movie actually goes and why and it all came from a few paltry minutes at the beginning of the film where they ate breakfast!

UNF JUST TALKING ABOUT IT HAS MY HEART AFLUTTER!

Now the most lethal Reservoir Dogs for this purpose (btw fuck Quentin Tarantino) because it is WITH PURPOSE! You can't just be banal for nothing. You have to be banal for a reason. I've been pretty outspoken about it before, but I also don't believe films/movies/shows/ect should ever have scenes without purpose. Everything that's done should serve the plot! Banal moments SERVE PLOT and I think it's a very underutilized concept.

Honorable mention to Hayao Miyazaki and his art of silence. I mentioned it above in following a character, but Miyazaki (and typically other Japense directors) know when to let scenes 'breathe' so to speak which does what banal dialog does in a literary sense. The breathing gives perspective for both the characters and the audience and I think is very much worth throwing into this conversation.

Also hey, look! You did a metaphor right there with your deep waters comparison. I could see it though I would totally disagree with your kiddie pool reference to yourself. You will never be me and i will never be you. Your work has just a right to exist as any other and who knows, I might have read it if you've put it out! I might recommend it to other people! I'm a big fan of many works, whether they're 'good or not' (whatever that means) that doesn't mean they don't have place! There are fics I've read that story wise or say writing wise are a TOTAL MESS and I love them regardless because maybe their character portrayal was flawless or their idea was just so good I loved that they were creative enough to share it!

Plus and I don't mean this is a braggadocios kinda way, but no one and I mean NO ONE should compare themselves to me. This is written in a derogatory sense: I am not a normal human being. One of my best friends asks me all the time "how are you still alive?" and my answer is "I DON'T KNOW MAN!" I am not someone to look up to or someone to emulate. I am just feral and hungry and no one in the this world, not even me, can get a handle on this leash.

That being said, I am so blown away by how you describe my work! Consider me shifted from choked up to misty eyed! I am not a professional writer by any means, but I'd love to turn my work into books. I just have no idea how to break into the market! I definitely do this all out of love (READ HYPERFIXATION!) and yeah for free (not discounting my pateron folks, I love you endlessly forever, but it ain't a living though it is IMMENSELY appreciated! Ya'll pay for the patreons I sub to and like a fast food meal once a month XD)

No apologies for the length! It was such a blast to get this! Also you did AMAZING! I was never confused once and your thoughts had a clear through line without being confusing in the slightest! Your English is impeccable!

Thank you for taking the time to read and write to me!!! Def got more fics coming (Valentine's fic, a aroace Mikey fic that also happens to be a Donnie x reader, and more weak spot and her sequel!)!

Feel free to hit up my DMs if you want to talk more! Thank you again!!!!

#ask

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satans-arse-crack · 4 months

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Hey my lovely tumblr blog thing, how ya doing 😏

It has been ages since I’ve like said anything on here like a solid couple of months I think. I just wanted to come here and vent for a little cause there’s a lot of shit going on and I don’t know how to feel about it. I know that nobody is ever going gonna read this but it’s kinda just my way of getting shit out yk. If anyone happens to come across this and actually read it then good for your ig 😭 (none of this is gonna make sense which is my it is a random ramble) anyways onto the rambling 😗✌🏻

-Here’s some music to listen to ❤️-

These past couple of months have been overwhelming to say the least. My PlayStation account keeps getting banned for no reason. I had I strange clash with a girl I used to be friends with and all her little pals, it wasn’t a fun interaction to say the least

School is stressing me out to the max and I have no clue what I’m going to do

My friends are really starting to annoy me but I can’t do anything about it. I wish I could drop them but 1) I have no other friends cause they are my only ones 2) I feel extremely guilty even thinking about that

My online friend has really been causing me the most idk stress, anxiety, upset? Idk how to put it. He’s just been such an asshole for the past like 2 months and it’s getting on my nerves. I got really close to him and for ages I used to get like upset or anxious if he didn’t reply to me (I think I’ve got some kind of anxious attachment or something, it’s some kind of anxiety) but honestly for the past couple of weeks and especially at the start of the month he was just such an ass that it honestly gave me so much of an ick I started not to care anymore.

Speaking of that friend OHHHHHHHHH HAS HE BEEN SUCH AN ARSE ABOUT EVERYTHING. Basically I had tried to explain to this boy about how and why I seem to get anxious or upset when he doesn’t message me back or seems dry, and the mf started to use that shit againt me as a joke. Now I introduced my online friend to my irl friend at the start of November right. And they kinda clash but there seems to be no hard feelings, well sometimes when he decides he want to clash with her he sometimes brings me into it. Sometimes he’ll bring up stuff to make fun of me (shit I told him in serious conversations in full confidence) like he’s brought up the fact that I cry a lot, the fact that I get upset when he doesn’t message me, the fact I have no other friends. The list goes on for ever

This friend also constantly mentions how he doesn’t wanna be friends with me anymore, how he hates talking to me, how he can’t wait to get rid of me. It’s confusing, if he hates me so much then why does he always invite me to ps parties, why does he sometimes message me when shit happens with his family like??

Also I know this friend has constantly lied to me in the past and it’s now pissing me off

I just can’t with people anymore they stress me out so much

Half of me wishes I could go the rest of my life is solitude but the other half hates being alone

Another thing, I feel so genuinely alone, I have no one to talk to, no one checks up on me, no one seems to make an effort to talk to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t remember the last time I had a friend check up on me and be like “hey are you doing ok”

And if I’m being honest I don’t know what my answer would be cause I’m not doing ok at all, I have no motivation or energy to do anything anymore, Im scared im slowly loosing interest in my hobby. I’m scared I’m pushing people away. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just sad .

I’m just sitting here and waiting for some good luck and fortune to come my way

I’m honestly considering starting a journal, just to write in when I feel this way or just any time I wish. Someplace to get my feelings out when it’s needed. I might go into town in the next couple of days and see if I can find a nice journal somewhere

It feels nice to do this, feels like I’m talking to someone almost. Although no one will see this and I’ll never get a response it’s nice yk

I’m typing this on my phone and my thumb hurts really bad for no reason 😭

Anyways I’m gonna leave it here, might go off and cry or I might go try and sleep who knows. Also happy late Christmas 🎄😁

Buh bye 🤭🥰

#Spotify

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strudeldoodlearts · 2 years

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Some good and bad news.

Bad news: I’m swamped with writing career stuff to a point where I have only one day a week to really commit to all of my art plans. I also have finite energy to work on things. So art updates won’t happen as quickly as I would like.

The good news: I’ve been finding better ways to motivate myself beyond productivity hacks and “have-to’s.” Work-flow is more energizing. Time moves more quickly. My inner kid is no longer throwing fits because I’m feeling a bit more self-aware as of late.

Seeing results in my writing life and learning to cope with larger workloads has also impacted my drawing. I’ve been allowing myself to loosen my wrist and get back into the mindset I had when my main medium was pen/pencil and paper.

Main change: I finessed my pencil brush settings to make it resemble IRL hand-drawing as much as possible. I also switched my eraser to something softer. This makes it so much easier for me to chisel out sketch lines and shapes in a way that feels more natural.

My inner child approves. I may be tired and wary of my limited time to draw and yet I almost feel invincible again, ha!

Yes, PC tablet-drawn art requires other skills to get used to. There are a lot of tutorials and shortcuts to learn, and it’s tempting to try out all of the hacks and think of the artform as totally separate from hand-drawn art. This can make it easy to neglect the more “tedious” stuff--Why erase when you could just hit undo? Why freehand lines when you could use shapes and guides in the program to make the lines more precise? Why color by hand when you could use the fill bucket? Why think about color shifts and changes when you could play with opacity, multiply, overlay, etc.?

But at the same time, why neglect the things and drawing conventions that already make intuitive sense to me? Especially when they yield more predictable results so that there’s less frustration and reworking and feeling technologically illiterate?

Behold this WIP that only took a little over an hour. Mostly shaded without the fill tool. No undo except for a time where my hand slipped and I drew a stray mark without meaning to. You can already see some texture and light direction, and I haven’t even gotten to the shading/shinies yet. Airbrush tool for the bubble area aside, I stuck with techniques that took me back to the days when I only had a pencil, a few colored pens, and a limited amount of cheap watercolor pencils. Oh wait: The airbrush tool translates into times where I’d smudge with my fingers. Haha!

In short, if you ever get stuck with the “have-to’s” and stress out over pixel perfection, experiment with your digital art program’s capabilities to replicate the most organic form of drawing that comes naturally to you.

#art process #life stuff #good news #bad news #learning #inner child #does this bring joy #digital artists #doodling

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absolutebl · 3 years

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This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.)

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow.

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day.

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story.

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan.

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have...

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here.

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL.

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger.

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution. * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad?

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count).

Gossip - Thai BL

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail.

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking),

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked),

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories).

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay...

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good.

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch.

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun.

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?)

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow.

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA...

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU!

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three.

Breaking News

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates)

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer.

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations.

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual.

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

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hey :/ i started to realize that i was a trans man around the same time my ex realized he was, too. we came out to each other and he thinks i’m copying him. advice??

Lee says:

We’ve gotten versions of this question from folks on both sides in the past. People have said things like “I came out and then my little sister came out, I think she’s copying my gender/identity and I don’t like it!” and folks who say stuff like “My friend came out and then I came out, and now she thinks I’m copying her gender/identity and I don’t like it!”

Indeed, it’s common for one person to come out and then another person follows suit! But this doesn't mean that the second person is “faking” their identity and copying the first person because they were jealous of the attention the first person got for coming out.

It’s common for LGBTQ folks to be friends with each other before any of them realize that they’re LGBTQ. Somehow, we just seem to attract each other! And a lot of trans people only start identifying as trans once they learn more about the trans community and spend time interacting with trans people, whether it’s online or IRl, so someone spending time with a trans person and then identifying as trans doesn’t mean that being trans is contagious, or that the person is faking it- it means they just learned more about being trans and realized it fits them too.

Using myself as an example- I had a friend who came out as non-binary, and the next year I came out as non-binary too. I wasn’t “copying” my friend per se. But I wasn’t really aware of being non-binary before that, so them coming out made it something on my radar. It made me realize that being non-binary is something that exists and something that a person can be and choose to identify as.

Seeing them take that path planted that little seed in my mind and eventually (after having folks as me if I was trans) I realized that yeah I’m non-binary too. I came out after they did because they helped me question my own gender which made me realize that I’m also non-binary, so they did influence me in a way, and seeing them come out gave me the courage/inspiration/motivation to come out myself.

Now of course it’s been several years... and I’m still non-binary! And so is my friend! Just because they came out first and I didn’t know I was trans for a while, it didn’t make their gender “realer” than mine is now, or any more valid.

That’s why friends, family members, and partners tend to come out around the same time. The first person comes out, and that makes the second person question their gender because they didn’t know as much about being trans before, and then they come out too. Or maybe both people knew they were trans already, but one person came out which helped lay down the groundwork for the other person to feel comfortable coming out too because they had a better idea of how someone would react. Or both people realized they were trans and came out at the same time independently- that happens too!

Regardless of how things happened, you both identify as trans and that’s something that needs to be respected. Even if someone was “faking” for some reason and copying someone’s gender, using a different name and pronouns for them until they get tired of it isn’t really going to hurt anyone- and you don’t know if they’re faking, so you should give them the benefit of doubt. Nobody can peer into someone’s head and figure out their gender for them- if someone says that they’re trans, you have to take them at their word because there’s no “Trans Test” that you can take to determine if they’re truly trans.

You can talk more about why you identify as trans if you want, but you shouldn’t ever feel like you have to “defend” and justify your identity; you don’t need to share more than you feel comfortable sharing. And even if him realizing he was trans had any influence or impact on your realization, it doesn’t mean that you’re copying or any less trans- there’s no shame in that, and it shouldn’t be something you have to hide or pretend isn’t true.

If you feel like he’s a good friend to you otherwise and you want to invest your emotional energy into trying to maintain a friendship with him, you can tell him you need to have a serious conversation with him and then explain that you genuinely feel that you are a man and you were hurt that he’s accused you of pretending to be trans/faking your gender/copying his gender, and remind him that it’s never okay to misgender you or say something that invalidates your gender identity.

If he keep saying shitty things after you’ve had a talk with him, then you need to just move on! Stop wasting your time and emotional energy engaging with this guy. Tell him that you can’t be friends with someone who won’t respect your identity and you won’t be spending any more time with him until and unless he changes his behavior.

Then actually do it! Block and unfollow him on social media and block his phone number and delete his contact if you have to. Hang out with different friends instead!

If you have a shared group of friends, make it clear to them that you’re uncomfortable when people misgender and disrespect you. Make sure you tell them what this guy has said to you and how it’s hurt you, then explain that you don’t want them to hold any group get-togethers with this guy because he’s creating a hostile environment for you (or at least tell them not to invite him to events you’ll be at too unless they’re going to take the responsibility of actively calling him out and correcting him).

Personally, I’d advise just blocking/ignoring him and moving on. While some people can be friends with ex-partners, I have the feeling things aren’t going great between the two of you from the connotation of you calling him your “ex” and not your friend. It can be hard to move on (trust me! I know! I never get over things or move on from anything, ever!) but sometimes you have to remind yourself that this person isn’t actually making your life better and you need to take care of yourself and disengage from them.

Breakups and ending relationships/friendships:

How should I end a relationship?

Ending unhealthy relationships

6 steps to ending a toxic relationship with a friend or partner

How to break up gracefully

wikiHow to Break Up

How To Break Up Like a Grown Up

How To Break Up With Somebody In 7 Steps

How To Dump Someone (Like An Actual Adult)

Fire Your Friends: Drop The Negative People In Your Life

6 Ways To Cut A Toxic Friend Out Of Your Life For Good

3 ways to end a toxic friendship

What to do when one of the friends in your friend group is bad to you

After a breakup:

10 Tips on How to Work Through Feelings of Social Isolation

5 ways to beat loneliness

Coping with a relationship breakup

7 phrases to help you get over a breakup

Dealing with a breakup

Help for when a relationship ends

Beyond codependency

It’s okay to be alone

5 things to remember when you still love the emotionally abusive partner you left

5 helpful things when you end a relationship

How the 7 stages of grief apply to breakups

7 ways to cope with post-split stress

How to deal with losing a friend

Letting go of someone who’s not good for you

What if my ex starts outing me as trans?

Followers, any advice for an anon whose ex-partner accuses them of “copying” their gender identity?

Followers say:

lesbean-on-ice said: I don’t really have any advice, but i can really relate to this post. my best friend, who I’ve known since kindergarten, and I started to question our genders around the same time, and we both went through multiple labels to find the right fit for us. she ended up landing on agender, and I thought I was girlflux at the time, but after reading up on the agender label, I realized that was my gender (or lack thereof, lol) as well!

am-anyone said: It can also be gained confidence that causes people to come out at the same time. I knew I was trans and when my friend came out to our friend group it gave me enough confidence to also come out in short succession afterwards. It wasn’t cause of copying but simply I felt less nervous knowing someone had successfully come out already.

#Lee says #faking #copying #trans #friends #Anonymous #transgender #nonbinary #lgbtq #lgbt #transgender teen survival guide #transgenderteensurvivalguide #TTSG

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syubub · 3 years

Text

Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!

It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!

I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!

I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!

---

I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol

So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)

Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.

I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"

Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!

Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.

So so so.

The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)

The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.

So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.

Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.

With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.

Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!

The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.

Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.

So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.

I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!

Witht he ace of wands

It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."

I can dream....

What a nice dream.

Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.

Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!

A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.

Now that that's cleared up

I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)

I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"

YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.

At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?

2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)

I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.

YOONGI WHY

This cheeky son of a bitch.

Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.

"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???

I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.

"Are they hiding their energy?" No.

I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.

I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.

"lol ur dumb"

Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"

Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.

What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.

yoobi, sir, why must you do this?

I decided to continue.

"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.

Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.

I'm petty about it, sue me.

The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.

Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.

I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??

With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?

I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.

My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.

For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.

First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.

A lot of opening lol.

It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.

Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.

Yep I checked. They are the page #s.

So that's intresting.

Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.

Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.

TLDR

Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.

Happy day of birth Syub!!

#bts #bts tarot #yoongi #bts reactions #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #bts rm #seokjin #bts suga #min suga #park jimin #hoseok #taehyung #jungkook

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furiosity-wills-the-cat · 3 years

Text

Interview with a Fanfic Author Tag!

This game was originally posted by @/goldenavenger02. I was tagged by @a-conveniently-shaped-lamp. All of Tali’s answers were so iconic and a mood ajfklsajkfl, also thank u for tagging me! I’m gonna follow what Tali did and answer these for the Undertale fandom.

1. Your favorite fic that you’ve written (or just one you want to give a shout out to).

I’m honestly super proud of myself every time i finish I fic in this fandom, they all have a special place in my heart. I’m really fond of all of my ghost!chara fics, I’m trying to write more soon because they have a special place in my heart. I think the one I’m most proud of so far is “whatever you do (just don't let the fire die)” https://archiveofourown.org/works/31927453 because it was fun to put the entire ghost family in one room. I really want to do that again soon.

2. Your favorite fic title that you’ve come up with.

Most of my Undertale fic titles are Owl City song lyrics so I don’t know if you could say I “came up” with them per se??? I do feel happy with the specific lines I chose though. I will say that no one but me knows my favorite fic title yet because it’s in one of my WIPs, and I’m not gonna spoil it before I finish or jinx it, but it comes from Fireflies lol

3. How do you get inspiration to write?

I usually have to force myself to sit down and write a few sentences before I can get into the flow, but, even though I do get obsessed with specific ideas, I’m much more motivated by the act of writing and playing with metaphors and grammar and stuff than I am by the characters themselves? I love the characters and have plenty of ideas about them so I don’t need extra motivation there, but rereading phone calls or neutral ending flowcharts can help too. Honestly, I know this probably isn’t helpful, but hanging out with irl friends and doing activities I enjoy with other people is probably the most consistent way of giving myself both ideas for stories and energy to write.

4. Your favorite genre/subgenre of fic to write.

Hurt/comfort is absolutely my favorite to write, and I think it definitely shows in my Undertale fics. I have a few very specific subsets of hurt/comfort that I love even more

I love hurt/comfort when one of both of the parties just flat-out Refuses to talk about their emotions or to admit that they’re not okay, and the other provides support even though they don’t know what’s wrong? It’s very fun to have ““miscommunication““ be a plot point but not even an issue bc the friendship is too strong. Bonus points for h/c fics where one of the parties literally doesn’t even know that the other is hurting bc they’re so good at pretending to be okay,, but somehow the comfort happens anyway bc just having another person there is enough for now?? It may not be healthy in real life but it is. SO fun to write.

Also I don’t think??? I’ve posted any of this for Undertale yet (i’ve definitely written some for me lol, I get to read so much more of my writing than anyone else haha) But I have a consistent pattern across fandoms of writing hurt/comfort fics wherein two characters "sleep together” but not in a nsfw way,, just,,, specifically two angsty idiots platonically having a depression nap together as they avoid their problems. It is my fatal weakness. If I keep writing UT fic I guarentee I will write one with this format because it is my weakness

5. Do you have other hobbies?

So many!!! I’m very into math puzzles and rubik’s cubes. I also love to read lots of different things. Right now my biggest hobby is learning sign language which is very excellent bc it lets me wiggle my hands So Much all the time when I practice, AND it lets me meet new people!!

6. A fun fact about you that a lot of people may not know.

I have heterochromia!! I’m just cute and quirky like that (falls down a flight of stairs because I’m blind in one eye and have no depth perception)

7. Pick one character to self project onto, go!

I want!! to say alphys!!! so bad!!! because she’s so darn relatable!!! but somehow!!! every time!!! i end up projecting onto Metatton.

8. Favorite genre of music.

Usually pop music lol. I get songs stuck in my head very easily if I hear them playing in public and then I listen to them on repeat

9. Your favorite singer/band.

It changes constantly, but since I’m answering these for UT fandom I’m just gonna say Owl City bc he provides me my all lowecase song lyric titles

10. And finally, how has your experience in fandom been?

Better than I expected!! People have been very nice and so supportive!!! I love u all!!

i feel like most of the people I know in the UT fandom have already been tagged but if u see this and havent been tagged, feel free to pretend i tagged u

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inorganicone2230 · 3 years

Note

Pleaaaaase update purity on ao3 im begging 🥺🤍

So here’s the thing, I just want to say that I really do appreciate how much you clearly love my story, but I am unfortunately going to have to leave you disappointed by telling you that it’s probably going to be a while yet before Purity or any of my other fics get updated.

I am having a lot of trouble finding the motivation to write these day’s and most of that is because I have a lot going on in my life IRL. I have a full time job as well as a lot of other stressful obligations that eat into my time and here lately I just don’t have the energy to write for long periods of time, sometimes I don’t even have the energy to push out a couple of sentences. So I honestly can’t say when my next update will happen…

I do however want to make you all aware that this DOES NOT mean I am discontinuing or abandoning any of my fics. They will all be completed eventually, I just need to take a bit of time to get stuff situated IRL and recharge my writer batteries. So please just continue to be patient with me.

#ask response #anonymous #blog news #kinda personal #update schedule #fic info #support fellow writers #yandere blog

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dazais-guardian-angel · 3 years

Text

Fic Questionnaire

@ford-ye-fiji tagged me to do this; thank you. ^_^

How many works do you have on AO3? 106

What's your total AO3 word count? 395,897

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 27 fandoms, though for most of them it’s only like one or two. They are Akatsuki no Yona, Bungou Stray Dogs, My Hero Academia, Hunter x Hunter, Tales of Zestiria, Tales of Berseria, Tales of Graces, Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Xillia, Tales of Hearts, Tales of the Rays, Professor Layton, Noragami, Pandora Hearts, Dai Gyakuten Saiban, A Series of Unfortunate Events, RWBY, Tangled the series, Doki Doki Literature Club, Ori and the Blind Forest, Vanitas no Carte, Genshin Impact, Kiznaiver, Boku dake ga Inai Machi, Kuroshitsuji, Ai the Somnium Files, and Charlotte.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “Pictures, Posters, and Tender Beauty”, “Plus Est En Vous”, “My Reason”, “I Am Here, Too”, and “A Bandage for my Scars, and your Heart” ...Not surprised that four out of five of those are MHA fics, but I will never understand how that Tangled the series one I did got so insanely popular..... maybe because the show director himself acknowledged it. 0_0

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to, though I have to shamefully admit I pick and choose which ones I respond to. I appreciate every comment I get, of course, every writer does, but idk, I just feel like a broken record responding to all similar shorter comments with “Thank you so much!!! I’m so happy you liked it <3″ or something like that... Is that cruel of me? >_> I also feel weird responding to comments on my super old stuff, because aside from a few exceptions, I don’t really like most of my old fics anymore alkgklflkkl and I barely remember them enough to be able to give a reasonable response to comments on those. Instead I just put all my energy into responding to longer, more detailed comments, because with those I actually have more to work with to say back... But again, I love all my comments!! I’m really sorry if I don’t respond to your comment, it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful, I just don’t know what to say back OTL

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Haaaah, there are a few, but proooobably the most angsty ending would be in “Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun.” Since the thing is basically 12k words of agonizingly drawn-out All Might death... :’) Though I meant for the actual ending to be somewhat hopeful/bittersweet? and I surely have other ones that have more painful endings... But that’s the obvious one that comes to mind, since I’ve had multiple people yell at me for it. :)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I can’t remember any instances of outright hate, but I’ve gotten some... odd comments every once in a while... Or just some annoying criticism that the person didn’t intend to be mean about, I don’t think, but that realllly wasn’t warranted. These comments are very rare though.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Noooo way in hell lol

Have you ever had a fic stolen? ....I mean, not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yeah, I think I had at least one someone asked to translate into Russian, although they put it on FF.net lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No... I really want to though. Multiple friends and I have planned different ones, but we haven’t gotten around to doing any of them yet because I’m into different fandoms atm and also dealing with health problems that distract me.... My ex-friend and I had a major one that was in the planning stages, but then she stopped being my friend so it never got off the ground. :’) I’m still upset about that...

What's your all time favorite ship? Mmmmm that’s hard; I don’t ship that much at all, so although I have a few favorite ships, one in particular doesn’t really stand out to me as my hardcore OTP.... Buuut I guess I would say Snow/Serah from FFXIII; I love ff13 so much, it’s so special to me, and those two are just the absolute sweetest and the heart and soul of the game 🥺❤️ I haven’t written anything for them or ff13 in general, but maybe someday.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I only ever have one WIP at a time, so..... Hopefully not my current long one, I am constantly trying to slap myself for thinking, intimidated as I am by it with all my ideas for it and all the research I need to do. :’)

What are your writing strengths? I think I’m really good at writing characters’ emotions... the emotions they show, and everything they’re feeling internally. I really like the stream-of-consciousness style of internal monologue I’ve started using within the last few years; I think it’s very... cathartic? In general I just think I’m good at writing softness, cause I definitely feel the soft feels rereading my stuff lol

What are your writing weaknesses? Motivation.... starting a writing session and not getting distracted.... ADHD.... what do I do. :’) Although I just said I like that stream-of-consciousness style I use, I often feel like I use it too much, or things get redundant, and too wordy and overwhelming, bah..... I’m also shit at just.... knowing things, like worldbuilding, but like, real-world stuff that everyone knows, but I’ve been living under a rock my whole life and not done a lot of things that are normal for most other people, so I struggle with that in my writing, which is why all my fics not-so-subtly eek around mentioning things like food and irl places and so much else, haaah.... now I’m got myself writing 1800s Victorian London; someone save me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Ehhhh only do it veryyyy sparingly, like when a character is startled and might briefly revert to their native language, or something similar. I just did that in one of my recent fics, actually, and looked up a few Russian words, being super anal about getting it right.... and I still got a comment correcting my Russian, even though it was only like 3 words in the entire thing, with nothing else to say about the rest of the fic... it was a little frustrating :’)

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for? Akatsuki no Yona/Yona of the Dawn. That was the first series that really got me into fandom and making online friends, and gave me the courage to try writing fics; I’m so grateful to it for that, and it still remains one of my favorite mangas <3 Ah, to be able to pump out fics as easily and quickly as I did back then...

What's your favorite fic you've ever written? I think it’s still “Manufactured Hearts, Real Happiness”, the sole Tales of the Abyss fic I’ve written. TotA is my favorite game of all time, and I wrote this for a Tales big bang that happened a while back; it turned out much longer than I ever anticipated, one of my longest fics to date, and pretty much exactly how I wanted it to be, which is always the best feeling... I was so happy to feel like I did my favorite game justice. :’) Now.... my dream is for my current WIP to become my new favorite, if I can pull it off right; we’ll see :’)

Uhhhh I’ll tag @sixtyfourk , @cenally , @arcane-palm , @kyoukalay , @magicmetslogic , and @evevoli03 , if any of you want to do this~

#tag meme #i thought i had a lot of fics but that's nothing compared to you Fiji jfc #i need to get going already.......#so much dgs to write #not enough executive function.......#the amount of DGS ideas i have and the lack of skill to write or draw them is literally killing me inside </3

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kuroopaisen · 3 years

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Can we maybe not bug writers about updates? Like I'm waiting for a series update, too, for my favorite character (not tiny love though I'm planning on reading that soon cause dating brother's best friend and Iwa? YES PLEASE) but I haven't sent any asks about getting updates. There's irl things going on that take precedence. Rowan, you took as long as you need and update when you can but there's absolutely no rush for updates at all. 💛💛💛

oh bless you anon :( part of me does feel bad because previously both my series’ ran on weekly update schedules and then i just suddenly stopped (and if i remember correctly, i don’t think i’ve updated my masterlists to reflect that?), but a lot happened in my personal life that left me without the will or energy to write for a little while.

i understand that people asking for updates are primarily coming from a place of excitement, and thankfully i don’t get too affected by it nor do i feel too much pressure (but i know other writers do).

BUT a key tip for anyone who’d like to see an update on a series: leave nice feedback! that’s always motivating, and the serotonin boost can (sometimes) carry me through. seeing people care about what’s going on really helps make me feel like the time i’m funnelling into it is paying off (as opposed to dedicating my time to other projects). and hey, you get to improve someone’s day in the process.

(that’s not to say leave insincere feedback or only leave feedback for the purpose of getting an update, because that’s... that’s bad in it’s own way)

HHHH anon i am so sorry because you are so lovely but i have some more thoughts so i’ll just stick them under the cut

i don’t like the “writers are doing this for free” diatribe because... yeah, of course? we’re going it for free? this is... this is a hobby? and the point of hobbies is to enjoy them, not treat them like unpaid labour? and also because it’s a hobby that means quality isn’t always going to be up to par with published fiction and that’s okay? i’m not going to sit here and act like i deserve attention or feedback simply because i put some time into my hobby, which isn’t vetted for quality in the same way a published book is.

but i will invoke it here for the sake of saying that i am, in fact, doing it for free, and that means it is therefore lower on my priority list than other things in my life (i’ve got commissions to finish, and i start my final year of uni next week, and mental wellness is always an uphill battle but it’s worth fighting).

and i know other people on here have even more to deal with, and the time they do give to finishing fics and putting them up should be respected. this goes two ways -- readers should respect the time writers take out of their day, AND writers should respect the time readers take out of their day to engage with their stuff, regardless of whether or not they leave feedback. but that’s a whole other can of worms and i’m already rambling too much.

(for one thing, writers in this portion of the internet are positively spoiled for feedback; i’ve been in fandom spaces where readers are dead silent. and that’s fine! but to act like this fandom is ungrateful or greedy or too quiet is just... is just flat out wrong.)

essentially, i don’t want to end up hating this thing i do for fun because it puts excess pressure on me. and i do think that, for the most part, i’m doing a good job of maintaining a healthy outlook and relationship with my writing (although i’m prone to bouts of laughably intense insecurity), but i know that’s easier said than done.

i’ve gone entirely off topic but this is something i’ve been thinking about for a while.

also p.s. i’m not saying that all published work is Good and that all fanfiction is Inherently Worse or that there aren’t fanfics which are, in fact, better than published work, but it’s important to respect how much work and effort getting published is, as well as the hoops that have to be jumped through by people who don’t get picked up off wattpad. also, the world of publishing is much harsher than the world of tumblr; i’m so thankful that people have been so affirming of me here, and it’s helped me learn what some of my strengths are. but i’m trying not to let it cloud my view for when i finally finish a damn manuscript, because it’s not even half as kind of warm as this place DLKJFDSLKJFD

anyway, that’s to say thanks to everyone who’s ever said something lovely to me. i really appreciate it and you’re helping me shamble together my self-esteem.

#rowan rambles #discourse tw #i guess?????#anon #rowan replies

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introvertsareimportant · 4 years

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the types as I know them irl, by an esfj

estj (PB/S(C)):

-my mom!

-obssessed with things “that work”. I own so many pretty shiny things that have no actual use and are only taking up space, and she has a lot of opinions about that.

-super smart. Not knowledge smart, but you could give her a riddle and she’d ask all the right quesitons and get the correct answer. It’s a superpower.

-loves to guess what happens next in TV shows, is usually always right

-not pushy at all, lets her kids breathe, lets us manage our stuff on our own (where do all these bossy estj stereotypes come from?)

-good at talking

-loves children

isfj (SB/C(P))

-my dad!

-has a Phd in molecular biology

-knows so much about the randomest of topics (sea creatures, history, chinese literature, tech news, recently developed technology)

-”go ask ur mom”

-i like making fun of him lol

-likes building models of anime characters from scratch, like he would cut the pieces himself and spray paint it and polish it it’s fascinating

intp (SC/P(B))

-little brother

-smart but doesn’t do that well academically

- has trouble controlling his emotions, it’s a legitimate problem in his life

-takes jokes too literally

-kind bean but is ruthless when it comes to mario kart

-really similar to my dad in terms of personality

-sometimes we would just sit in the living room together. He’s playing his video games, I’m reading my book, when it gets to the boring part i look up and watch him play and after a while he hands me a controller and beats my ass in the game and i go back to reading and he keeps playing, repeat until mom says its dinnertime.

-we have our own “eye contact language” lol it’s really beautiful

infp:

-best friend!!!!

-not at all antisocial, but acts super cringey and weird when she talks about people (“Everyone-is-out-to-get-me syndrome” that is shared by all IxxPs and ExxJs)

-athletic

-funny as hell

-stressed about the “social norms” (demon Te) and overthinks courtesies and stuff like that when she talks to older people

-where does the stereotype of infps being soft smol beans come from? she’s super tough and has a “don’t fuck with me” attitude going for her

-likes twilight unironically

infj:

-just kind of... there (she fits the stereotype of intuitives just being in their head all the time. she doesn’t really do anything)

-doesn’t take part in a lot of extreacurricular activities

-likes complaining. a lot.

-when she laughs it’s super funny. you could just say something to her like “i don’t like turtles” and she’d laugh even harder

-no problem insulting people and making fun of them and then turn around and praise them (enfjs are jealous)

esfj:

-we’re not that friendly despite being the same type

-really mature tho, i said something mean to him a while ago and he’s still really eager to at least get along

-i don’t really want to give in to sterotypes here but he has tons of friends

-likes cringey deep posts he found on pinterest

-super athletic

-loud laugh

-really funny, his joke making skills are better than some entps’

another esfj:

-i think she’s my exact type (esfj BS/C(P))

-super introverted (yeah they exist)

-really awkward with people (it’s a thing with esfjs!!! i think when we’re hyper aware of other people’s reactions to us it makes us act kind of unnatural? kind of like when you’re walking in front of your crush and you want to walk normal but then you end up flailing you arms around and laughing too obnoxiously)

- “i hate people” *goes on and obssess about every one of their most trivial opinions*

-super defensive about her opinions, takes them really personally even when it’s only for a school essay (i get it as a fellow esfj)

-tries really hard to be funny, ends up being an accidental asshole and insulting everyone

estp

-big science nerd

-chill

-we talk on a daily basis

-sends me posts about hatsune miku

-loves having inside jokes with his friends

-small dick energy but it’s ok

entp

-other best friend

-her laughter is funnier than the joke

-notices a lot of little things

-math god

-shares 1 braincell with my infp friend

-loves kdramas and kpop

-can be a (playful) meanie to you then switch to people pleaser nice mode within ten seconds it’s really confusing (i think all IxxJs and ExxPs have that superpower)

istj

-has borderline ocd and she knows it

-deadpan delivery of her jokes

-good at archery

-sometimes we’d video call each other and study in silence together cause her attitude really motivates me

-i love sharing silences with her, you don’t have to yak about bullshit to be comfortable

-soft uwu girl

-100 percent made of Queen Material

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carcinized · 3 years

Note

okay actually i will be replying to nothing tonight bc i drew leaf anon and it took most of my energy rip but

i am also incredibly lonely but i absolutely cannot tolerate texting right now and calling people also sounds... not good so

*waves* hello!

uhh- what's new? how are the cats!! catcatcatkittycat!!!! how are they? nnnnnn im tired. i have a bee duo wip that i wanted to do for pride month that is still unfinished bc i just dont want to color in tubbos face (thats basically the only thing i have left to do and i cannot bring myself to do it -_- motivation is strange)

im thirsty. OH GUESS WHAT i actually drank water today. its bc im working at a farm this week so i really need to hydrate. so uh. yay me????

i keep feeling poetic. i want to make more poetry. but also writing is icky so the ideas sit in my brain or i write a sentence about them in my notes app and then forget everything :/

keyboard smiley faces are fun. especially this one :D look at it :D :D :D its so happy :D this is a Good Smile right there :D

i dont know what im saying anymore. i dont know what any of this is im very sorry about... whatever happened here ahah :) goodnight maybe?? except also if sleep is for the strong then i am quite weak so maybe not. i might have tea. tea my beloved <3 the world would not function without tea <3

hmmm how is life? also. your bee duo alone animatic thing is. i keep thinking about. :D i cannot think of actual questions rn? hm :/ i love you a lot a lot a lot!! goodnight i suppose? <3

hi stardust my loveliest friend <3 no sorries for this ask its lovely to hear from you !! im glad youre hydrating, make sure you do it regardless of if youre working outside or not though!! its very important and i believe in you being able to do it :]

oh and dont worry about not replying to stuff, i do that all the time its all good. sometimes you need a break!!

everything you said about motivation is a complete mood thats exactly how i feel about everything i create (or attempt to create) rn (except music actually--i did a really fun jazz/improv type singing thing today which skyy REALLY liked which was nice DSFJDF)

:D is a really nice smile, i agree. hes just so happy :D

ooo tea sounds nice!! tea is awesome. however i still prefer apple cider BDDFJDSF and definitely sleep if youre tired!!! youre definitely strong stardust. you go through so much and youre still the loveliest person i know (which is not an exaggeration, youre no. 1 :D) and youre still going and i admire you so, so much for it. youre one of the strongest people i know. you got this.

life is good!! being home is so incredibly nice (and keeps away the derealisation!! at least for now badslf) plus i FINALLY gathered the courage to reach out to my irl best friend because both of us are literally terrible at texting first and ✨covid✨ and he missed me and catching up is so nice aaAAA thank god i texted her BJDDSFJ

oh!! and the new the maine album is really good, thanks for reminding me to listen to it!!! its so nice :]

i love you a lot too <3 and its fine that you cant think of questions!! just hearing from you and catching up is nice :] i love talking w you!!! and hahHAHA glad you liked it BFSDFJ i have wayyy too many animatics stuffed into my head like that maybe ill write up another sometime SDFDBSDSF sleep well my darling stardust!!! you deserve a wonderful night of sleep, sweet dreams <3 things will get easier, i promise <3

#stardust !#emoji tw #ask #sorry this took so long to type its hard to type w/o typos on computer for me but i like my tumblr to not have a ton of typos lmao #i hope youre doing ok my friend <33

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madeintimeland · 3 years

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im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌

#this is literally just all about drugs and dissociation

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