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valorxdrive · 8 months

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Ophelia smiles at Sora, pleased at his strength and commitment. He was neither arrogant nor dismissive. Tapping her finger upon the table, the cards rapidly shuffled themselves at high speed before laying themselves out in formation upon the tables surface. "Magic dates back eons, dear boy. Long ago, it was called Thaumaturgy. That means Creation of Mysteries. It has been a pursuit among the mundane and mystics of every age. I was no exception." She flipped a card. Tower, upright position. She hummed. "Long ago, I was a Witch. I pursued magic for no other reason than to be the best. I wanted to surpass all mages of yore. I put my all into that grand undertaking. I was strong, smart, and talented. A prodigy they called me." She flipped another card. Death, reversed. She said nothing for a moment. "I achieved the very peak, the absolute pinnacle of mortal ability. Not just the peak of humanity, but the peak of mortals everywhere. I wasn't satisfied. I had hit a wall, and my prowess could go no further. I was convinced there was a level beyond. I pursued those lofty heights with zealous fervor." She locked eyes with Sora now.

"Until I finally succeeded. I shattered that wall, and my magic ascended beyond mortal limits. At first, I was elated. It was only later I truly understood." She placed a hand over her own heart. "Sora. I lost something. A part of myself I can't name, a part of myself that I never knew I had. I had become something different, and lost a part of myself I can never get back. I have become a warden of the world itself. Eternal, until the very day I am either struck down or this world's end. Heed my words. Magic is fickle. If you try to take too much, it will take from you in turn."

There's a considerate pause as the tale is unwoven before him. For the intro into this lesson, in all honesty, Sora couldn't find himself surprised. Science within his old days of schooling had centered the land's creation by those means, yet, becoming a wielder of the Keyblade and actively living alongside these great forces offered a new truth. It makes him curiously reflect across the scale of his own journey for a fleeting moment.

Reality. Dreams. Data. The Heart Realm itself, to new and more hidden frontiers. That power of creation felt the most fitting with the endless vitality of the heart that situated itself in all places.

Given Ophelia's expertise and way she seamlessly played with boundaries. (Making a small, humble home have the spatial significance of a mansion within), it was so easy for him to imagine. As his vision kept a surprisingly solid focus on the cards she held and the amount, it was through the arcana did these particular symbols hold a new vestige of mystery to him. It could genuinely wait as her tale breaking through the mortal limit was.. sad. Leaning in, he keeps to his politeness, not daring to interrupt as through the birth of their developing connection, an aura of melancholy flocked through the training room.

"Ophelia..."

The heaviness that permeates the current atmosphere is a cloak he refuses to shed. Right now it was a lesson to drink in, and for the time, it gives him the most abrupt smidgen that he also found himself crossing upon a similar border by entirely different means. By facing the great Natural Laws, determined to march past their boundary in order to win a desolate war, it left a price to be paid. ..That said, he could confidently believe that his intentions hadn't been a measure of pride.

Power to Sora has always been a well to where takes only as much as he needs. For the power that remains alive and thriving in the vessel of his heart, it brought to limits carried in it's capacity. That said, there's the unnerving reality that he could also be introduced to a risky brink.

"When it comes to magic and it's might.." There's a pause as he draws himself from his seat, standing steady as a means of showcasing his respect on the matter. "I only want what I need, and with a lot of the dangers out there.. It does make me recognize I need to refine my strength. As it stands, with the exercise you showed me, heheh. It shows me that I still have an incredibly long way to go, mainly in new ways to see it and make it shine."

"And share that with the countless people who helped me get this far. That goes for you now too. I'm.." There's a momentary pause as he tries to find the words. Feelings are one thing to professionalize in, translating them to speech is another, something the warden has in spades.

"I want you to know from what you've shown me so far, you still do hold a lot of what makes you, you. Heheh, can't really say that without knowing you as long, but warmth like this? That's just something I want to put my bets into believing."

#Anon #| Bottle Mail #also to answer your questions btw #long post go through just fine #idk when tumblr changed ask length but i can roll with it just fine #no need to worry

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picspammer · 6 months

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Rings of Power Week 2023 Day 1 _ Favourite Scenery: Lindon✨

#I wanted to post earlier but I just didn't like the edits... and it takes me so long to screencap damn #i'm also sick lol. anyway this one is fine but eh... can't feel That beauty u know #anyway i'm looking forward to the rest of the week 🤗#last year when trop came out it was spring and i was going through the city thinking about lindon bc there's some trees that are SO much #like these. i was dreaming about lindon awake lol #ROPWeek2023 #ringsofpowerrealm #lotr trop #tropedit #trop #elrond #elrond peredhel #robert aramayo #galadriel #morfydd clark #gil-galad #benjamin walker

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basslinegrave · 1 month

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i was being a completely sane person today (/s) and was creating a timeline tree for snm would anyone even be interested in that. and collecting my shipping thoughts (or specifics about them being a couple etc). know that i still consider my knowledge of the franchise as poor. its just tidying it up in my head so when i talk about something i can pinpoint a specific thing (i was too deep in fnaf theorizing so now i have to suffer thru a franchise that doesnt even have a canon)

in short/tldr the comics are the base that happened in every possible timeline and everything else is derived from that, happening after, except the cartoon, which shows some events the same way so that would be more intertwined; not everything is connected/within one timeline. and the cartoon is my most fav and where i see them as a true couple.

long rant ahead

on one hand i really like the time travel theory where its like comics -> ttg -> cartoon etc by them travelling back in time for that, however there are many holes especially thinking about their families and stuff so

i like the idea of things branching off. one branch is comics - htr - cartoon, as something more intertwined

second is comics -> ttg -> poker night 2 (since it references ttg events) (idk bout 1 i havent played/seen that)

third would be comics -> ttiv (or comics -> htr -> ttiv, i have no idea atm if bosco's is mentioned in the comics but it is in htr and mentioned in ttiv. ttiv is also set in the year it came out, so theres a huge gap inbetween ttiv and htr but i wouldnt say its where the ttg games happened!)

and i dont mean this in like a multiverse way, since the creator seems to dislike that, its simply just a very loose canon that differs with each installment (simply due to different people working on these imo. nothing too deep imo)

but the juicy part!! i even made brackets that im too lazy to remake digitally so i will just write it out for each bigger installment. im excluding poker night 1 as i havent played it nor watched much gameplay

M = married, BF = best friends (in all technically)

comics: M - unlikely; BF - yes absolutely

htr: M - possible; BF - yes

cartoons: M - i take it as canon here. BF - yes million percent

ttg all seasons: M - no; BF - yes.

poker night 2: M - not sure, implied dating, i take that as good enough; BF - yes

ttiv: M - absolutely not. not a couple at all. BF - they seem too tense, yes, but from my experience playing, their interactions were imo the worst in all of their media, so i wasnt buying it at some points

note - ttiv has to be like the straightest they ever were and i also see it in S.P.'s more recent work. im looking too deep into that, perhaps, but im just thinking were never gonna get anything similar to what we got from back in the 90s again, if theres any future projects

people are also saying they got married like 4 times and its making me a bit confused here. do people mean cartoon, htr dress up card, cake topper and tdph ring scene or am i missing something big?? because to me that is married once, other ones being just for jokes (first one as well but its less vague), and in the ttg games its so extremely vague i cant count that (being realistic here) that said its still fun to joke about them getting married several times, but in this case wouldnt it be more of a marriage per timeline?

and to end this, a personal tierlist

my most fave obviously is the cartoon. not only is it the easiest to work with for me, with the fast pacing and short watch time (but ofc i wish it was longer) i absolutely love how their relationship is depicted there, even if a lot of stuff there is just jokes, but if everything is a joke then its also fine to take everything as canon within this media, to me! like when haters say that people only take the wedding scene out of the intro and ignore the rest - as if the other stuff couldnt happen (isnt one of the shots them fighting a giant octopus, which they end up having an episode about too. like cmon. anything goes here) even if it was contained within this specific part of the franchise, im ok with calling them a couple here. and its S tier overall

another S tier is the comics. nothing else to say

HTR is like A tier to me, only taking off points because its soooo sloooowwww and playing it after watching the series took 3 years off my life immediately. otherwise gud game.

ttg is like A to B tier for me, because of some specifics and preferences but thats just me being nitpicky so, the games overall are good. A- it is. thats all

poker night 2 is fun, i watch the gameplay a lot lately when im too tired at midnight to do anything else, A tier

ttiv. oh how mixed i am about you. gameplay by itself and my first experience with the game - S tier. it made me so giddy more than one time and i kept wanting to come back until i finished the game fully. i dont mind the bugs, its just what i expect in VR games and even tho it made me a bit frustrated at times it wasnt all that bad. its also the only vr game i played for over an hour once and didnt get motion sick - the exception was the level at the store which seemed too bright and actually made me nauseous. which is a feeling that somehow comes back whenever i think about this game. what i dislike was the dialogue, while most of it was fun and fine, i had moments where i just burst out laughing, they (or max especially) were way too mean towards the player. i know its a joke and you could chalk it up to max being unhappy with us/jealous, but it got like, generally unpleasant very quickly. with stuff like good throw - "nice!" bad throw - *neverending insults* and the second was how painfully straight it was and like. the vibes i got from them two was like, oh theyre fed up with each other and my shipping self was just left quite disappointed. i did not get all lines during my gameplay which made it great but upon going thru every line manually after, i was just more and more uncomfortable with what they said in their banter. this drops the game to like C for me? maybe B if i squint. being generous. i also got sick of their talking animations over time... the models are fine just got to be too much. bonus points for max ragdoll physics tho. coming up with a conclusion that this is a completely separate timeline and has nothing to do with anything other than the comics and perhaps HTR. i talked so long about this one cause its the one thing that prompted all of this lol.

but its not that serious! i just knew this franchise for ages as "oh its the two animal guys that are married and its funny" and now that i got into it fully, i see a lot of the shippers are obviously daydreaming and taking things out of context - which is fun, i agree!! i also do that. but it just painted a completely different picture for me. so no. theyre not married, theyre not a couple, except for the cartoon, where its implied, which stays on top for me. but in ttg at least, they love each other, its not as romantic, but i can ship them there (so i ship them in the context of the cartoon and ttg basically)

anyway. nothing is canon for them, everything is canon for them, and everything they say or do is a joke so. its not that deep at all. they gay tho

#insane ramblings #i will tag this #sam and max #for the 2 people that will read this 🫶#thoughts are being thunk #long post #i just went on an unplanned rant here #i was home alone today and spent most of my day thinking about ttiv and how much i hate it and love it and hate it #one could even say its textbook queerbait but since its a separate game i cannot say it #but going from showing them getting married to 20 years later sam dating random women its like. uhh idont like that #obviously #i hc him as bi or pan so its fine its just so lame. like who are they? you know. random off screen characters that mean nothing to me #and max being jealous of the player being there but allowing sam to date is so lol. i havent found the line about the other woman yet #but ive had the lines open for way too many times and i dread going through them further. but i might bite the bullet i just want context #wonder if one of them is that one afghan hound (?) from that one valentines art #when the characters get ooc in official media /j

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thetarttfuldickhead · 11 months

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From the AFC Richmond Twitter account.

#i assume it's already been posted here #but i was busy yesterday and going through the main tag to find it now just took too long #and i want it on my blog so here we are #who wrote this by the way?#was it sam?#would he really fine himself for being to[o] talented?#bumber getting fined 'just because' checks though #isaac having to pay 100 'for leading us'#missing a zero in both of jamie and jan's numbers #so i'd like to think that sam DIDN'T write this #but just decided to charge them both more #live karaoke don't come cheap #will?#IS IT WILL WHO WRITES THIS?#could very well be #social media #afc richmond twitter account #3x12

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uncanny-tranny · 6 months

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Brainstorming in your inbox a bit, I hope that's okay.

It's like. When you were abused as a kid and have mental health issues from that. At a certain point people stop seeing the abuse as the issue and instead you become the issue.

So instead of viewing it as "this person has been hurt incredibly badly and needs support" it's "this person has mental health issues and is therefore a problem". Like there's no room in society for the messiness of trying to heal from childhood abuse, because the mental health issues are seen as something for the person to hide so that the people around them aren't negatively impacted. There's so much focus on stopping people with mental health issues from hurting others (usually in ways that create stigma and further traumatize people), and not enough on actually helping traumatized people.

And the "not inconveniencing others" thing goes beyond the mental health issues. There's a lot of things that are considered "basic life skills" or "societal norms" I've had to learn as an adult and people can be really rude about it, especially when it negatively affects them. Like me learning to set boundaries is actually really good for my mental health, but the people inconvenienced by it just view me as being a "crazy bitch".

Idk I'm just trying to do my best to exist in the world and not harm others and take care of myself. It's exhausting trying to live up to the standards of people who haven't experienced childhood abuse while they refuse to acknowledge how deeply I am impacted by the abuse. And as much as I just want to say "screw that" to their standards and expectations, that can lead to me getting hurt so it's not as much of an option as I wish it was.

Anyways campfire marshmallows for all of us. We deserve it.

That makes sense, it seems like a lot of people have these hypotheticals about how we "should" act, what makes a perfect victim, and how we ought to exist that leaves us in just as bad a place, sometimes, as the abuse itself.

I don't think a lot of people would be comfortable acknowledging this, but the push to be a good victim and to be palatable was honestly just as bad as the abuse that I came from. People don't like the idea that they could do "just as bad" as the Bad People, I suppose, and so it becomes easy to dissociate the abuse from the person who experiences/experienced it.

#ask #anon #abuse #abuse tw #childhood abuse #childhood abuse tw #long post #i think that's why i've started calling myself insane and embracing the aspects of my experiences i was never allowed to even whisper about #because it reminds people that This Happened To Me and people... hate that #it's weird when you're expected to go through abuse and be... fine but then not even talk about it to others because it's uncomfortable #i think that's why i just stopped caring and started to talk about it. because it's dumb and pointlessly cruel and feeds the cycle of abuse

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maraschinotopped · 7 months

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when i first saw all of sbmr2 i thought it was kind of a shame that there wasnt a new 'evil bomberman team' or any new bombermen in general... but then i realized that meant i could make new bombermen. because im an artist and can do that. so heres calamity seed as a bomberman <3

poor girl got overgrown :(

alt design below cut

thought it would be fun to also design a more 'dastardly bomber' inspired bomberman design too lol

some annoying bastard vs the reanimated horrors. who will win.

#[cherry on top]#[boom! crash! bang!]#bomberman #super bomberman r #super bomberman r 2 #main tagging because fucking hell trying to do that sbmr artstyle replica took me way too long!!!!!!!!#and its still not quite right. augh.#i got the lineart through using a fountain pen brush but realized too late that its slightly transparent #plus i feel like it ended up too cluttered....#but it looks fine enough if you dont look too hard. and also i didnt want to go back and redo everything V-V #anyways. woe undead bomberman puppeted by plantlife and maybe also ellonite be apon ye #(plus the dastardly inspired design who i feel like would just be a bit of an annoying prick)#also if you're wondering i do also have a bomberman design for spike quintet #but the sbmr replica took so much out of me that im separating that design into a diff post lol #i need time to recharge before attempting it again !!!!#ask to tag #bc the design might be a liiiiittle too much into body horror territory but i cannot tell...

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loppiopio · 5 months

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i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?

just going from top to down as of today.

[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>

[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️

i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.

[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:

[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.

there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.

[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!

[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D

[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.

[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.

[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.

[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!

[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.

shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.

[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.

outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)

ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭

[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)

but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀

i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....

well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.

and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.

#durarara #i said a thing #if you've kudo'd aci within the past year and you think i'd recognise your name there's a good chance you're in this #this post is adhd as fuck holy shit #well #if anyone has read a single entire paragraph of it thanks :)#too much time spent writing something no one will read?? but idk someone might??? ughhhh #i will maybe go back through to hyperlink more of the artists and writers i mention here #idk #we'll see haha i'm huuuuungry i need to eat something #if you enjoyed reading any of this i'd appreciate letting me know because i did spend way too long writing it for real 😭#but it's fine what's done is done #getting it out noooooooow #nevermind i spent another half hour formatting the images #i needsta to get diahnosed #i had the briefest mention of actual twitter user miiyankhr in between stupidusernamepolicy and notelectrict #just acknowledging that i saw their actual name in the list #but i cut it because it was literally a sentence or something and this post is already ridiculously bloated #gonna eat now bye please post don't fucking breaaaaak i will die

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thefirstknife · 10 months

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While I 100% agree that if people aren't having fun they should take a step back/quit, I don't like the "if you're not having fun just go find another game" argument because it's so often used to shut down actual legitimate criticism from people who are otherwise enjoying the game but want genuine problems to be addressed. (I've seen it, for example, when people try to bring up bigotry in games and suggest maybe making some changes to remove it. I always get wary when I see people say it now.)

Oh yeah absolutely. There's real criticism that we have to be able to point out and discuss. A lot of the times people use this for any minor criticism someone has and I agree, that's often a way to shut down the conversation. Criticism in general is supposed to come from a place of love: you love something and you want to see it be better.

Unfortunately, in this case, when the community turns into ONLY negativity and criticism, it's kinda hard to believe they care about the game anymore. If people still had some positive stuff to engage with and were enjoying the game but had issues, then sure. But most of the negativity online right now is just purely rage bait. Bungie apparently has no redeeming qualities, and Destiny is dead. Misinformation is spreading about everything: all devs abandoned Destiny to work on Marathon (claim with no source that's accepted as fact and makes no sense: Destiny is the only game making them money, they can't abandon it before Marathon is out. Like, logically), monetisation is the worst in the industry (I genuinely don't believe that they play other games if they think that Destiny's monetisation is the worst in the industry), Bungie is maliciously banning people for fun (????) but also Bungie isn't banning people enough, Bungie is maliciously making server issues and didn't develop a "fix server" button in their office, game development is easy and Bungie is just lazy and the devs don't want to tell us anything because they're evil, Destiny is falling apart and nobody is playing anymore (just trust me bro), and most recent one which is possibly the most baffling of all - Bungie Foundation is a scam to write off taxes. Yes, that is currently discourse (which apparently gets recycled every year). Bungie Foundation, a charity organisation that's been going on for 13 years and is an independent registered organisation, is a scam. This is where we're at with the community mentality. And there's even more.

When we're at this point, it's truly something else. Like, if they believe conspiracy theories about Bungie and think Bungie is scamming them, maybe they just shouldn't play the game anymore. Why are they still here if they think this is all a scam? I would drop the game if I believed any of this so strongly.

Normal people having criticism and all is perfectly fine however! I did my fair share especially recently about the season pass pricing changes which I called a predatory practice and still believe it is. There's a lot more stuff to complain about while still enjoying the game and not basing your entire online existence and personality on hating Bungie. If they've got nothing else to do besides sitting on twitter shitting on Bungie, maybe it's time to move on.

I've also had my suspicions about the motives for hardcore Bungie hate after the incidents involving transphobic attacks on Bungie devs following the LF showcase, as well as all the crap about Nimbus and their VA. Given the recent developments about the general anti-LGBT+ mentality, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a contingent of people who are focusing on Bungie more than anyone else for how outspoken they are in their support for LGBT+ causes. Like, not to do some big reach or something but it's fairly curious that gamers online are adopting the anti-LGBT+ sentiments while Bungie is aggressively supportive. It just rubs me the wrong way that the one company that's committed to this and has been for years before most other companies jumped on the bandwagon is the one that they're choosing to paint as the worst villain. And the LGBT+ support isn't even all, as Bungie has other initiatives where they actively support women's right, reproductive rights, poc rights, disability rights and so on). I don't know, I've been a part of the gaming community for a long time and while there's been massive changes since the early days (and since gamergate days), the issues of bigotry in gaming remain. It feels particularly suspicious to, out of ALL companies, single out Bungie which invests in charities and progressive causes. Like, in the grand scheme of things, every corpo is robbing me blind, I know that, I have to give money to corpos to live on this Earth, so I at least want to give it to a corpo that considers me to be a human being and funds causes that promote my rights, instead of wanting me dead.

Ironically, all of this weird hate makes it harder to have actual normal criticism. It just gets drowned and lost in the sea of exaggerated bullshit and lies and conspiracies perpetuated by people who just don't seem to like the game anymore. At the end of the day, it's a video game. Whatever criticism we have, if it gets to the point where we just can't handle the state of the game, the best way to show it is to simply stop playing. A deluge of harassment on twitter will not bring about meaningful change nor will it adequately convey our criticism to anyone. If they truly want some changes, they would do this criticism in a way that matters, instead of creating a horde of angry gamers who will latch onto every lie and create a hate bandwagon.

#destiny 2 #bungie #long post #ask #i def agree with the premise of the ask btw. if that isn't clear #not all criticism is just meaningless rage #unfortunately it's harder than ever to parse through the bullshit to find it #and like. if this leads to less monetisation or something. sure. I'd like that too #but the methods being employed here are literally only hurting community managers devs and the community itself #the marketing board of execs at bungie who decided on monetisation aren't reading twitter comments #going at bungie won't solve the problems of capitalism #you gotta join a different cause to do that my working class siblings #check a discussion on the industry from thiccest_yosh on twitter (he's a bungie dev)#he specifically called out monetisation ruining art as well as misinformation and rage being spread by CCs #refreshing to see this being said directly and publicly by someone who works in the industry #and one more note on the bigotry stuff that made me bitter about aztecross and his stupid video the most #aztecross played supported and promoted hogshit legacy. this big 'anti-corpo warrior'#funding one of the biggest bigots in the world who actively works on trying to kill as many people as possible. totally fine i guess #'it's just a video game.' but with bungie it's life and death apparently #it makes me super bitter and suspicious. especially given how many CCs were in on misgendering characters #i dont trust any of these people. they're a business and when the business is bigotry they gladly participate

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bookwormcosplays · 6 months

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I haven't gotten a chance to see the reaction here on Tumblr, but I know a lot of people are heated on Instagram about the finale, but I just have to say... Guys, we had to have seen it coming. HBO Max is an unstable network, there were budget cuts, and let's be real the pacing was off for these episodes. They were ready to wrap things up. I know there was a huge rally to renew as a crew, but I definitely saw how this was going to go down on week two of the episode releases.

I'm trying to keep it as vague as possible for those who haven't seen it and come across the post, but I know some people are unhappy with a certain event. I actually think if that didn't happen there would be a disconnect of where they actually belonged. As much as I was sobbing, I don't think it was out of place or a bad choice. As I said, they were just trying to wrap things up in an attempted neat bow. I think it's better to cut it now semi rushed than to attempt a continuation with a network that lacks stability.

If we're still unsettled just remember that any other deviation from the canon ending, we can find in fan fiction which I'll be going straight to after writing this and I will be ignoring the ending.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #my commentary #my thoughts and opinions #my ramblings #long post #and i say this as someone who is usually highly critical of most television and movies #but like i have to think about what theyre going through right now #i understand why they made the choices they did #edit: i know theres a hope for s3 but i think they wrapped it like this because hbo max is so unstable and they dont know what will happen #i know the creator has more ideas if there were to be one but i think its fine where it ended and i just cant trust max anymore

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crimeronan · 10 months

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in a weird place with my illness currently wherein i feel fundamentally alienated from the majority of the online spoonie community because the things happening to my body are so far beyond the scope of chronic fatigue and/or general joint pain that it's like. mindboggling. like we are living fundamentally separate lives like there is very little overlap in our fears or experiences, even when we have some shared symptoms. and at the same time i am fundamentally excluded from online Very Serious Disease (TM) communities because i do not have cancer or a terminal diagnosis and my organ damage has not been quantified yet (even tho several medical professionals have agreed it for sure exists in some form) so i'm not really sick.

i'm just so tired. there's, like..... there are tiers of Feeling Sick when you're chronically ill, and from what i've seen online most spoonies are at a tier of "coping day to day, strategizing," and then people talk about the tier of "if you suddenly unequivocally know that you're going to die extremely soon, you HAVE to go to the hospital, because you are probably right"

there's a middle tier that's more along the lines of "i am not going to die tomorrow but i am going to die. i am helpless and if i don't get help from a doctor i am going to die and i am getting slowly worse because my body is eating itself and/or shutting down because i am going to die. i am in desperate need of immediate medication that i cannot get because i have to wait to see a specialist prescriber and my body will continue to slowly shut down in the meantime and i will continue to slowly die but it will be so slow that nobody will really care"

like where do i go with that what do i do with that. what am i supposed to do about the five-year survival rate for vasculitis being 78% and most of the deaths being people who couldn't see a doctor in time to get the medicine they need. while i'm waiting to see a doctor to get the medicine i need and i'm feeling things get worse and worse. i don't have any community that's going through the same thing because i'm not sick enough but i'm also way way way too sick simultaneously.

i dunno i dunno i dunno. i'm overtired which means that my emotions are fried and people are talking about disability pride month starting tomorrow and that just made me cry because some of my physical issues are so common/widespread that i Should have a community but i just. don't. i don't have a community that's specifically Mine i'm just alone out here or at least that's how it feels. like don't get me wrong i have my family and friends and support network i'm not ALONE alone and all of that is wonderful i just. feel very alone. as far as the current experience goes.

#negative #my specialist appointment is in about three weeks and they did fit me in as fast as possible #because it's an emergency because im dying but there arent enough specialists in a post-covid long covid world. which isnt even what i have #and i am hanging on til the appointment ill be fine hanging on til then but like #imagine having a bacterial infection slowly eating into and spreading through multiple organ systems in your body #and being able to feel it happening and feel how wrong things are going and feel that you are in bad bad trouble #and when you call the doctor they say 'sorry to hear about that bacteria. we'll get you on a 6 month waiting list for antibiotics'#that's what this feels like. like i said i'm tired and i also need to eat probably but i just want it to Stop #autoimmune tag #long post

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whump-it-like-its-hot · 11 months

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Fellas, it finally happened, my art block has loosened up a little and given way to THIS GUY

(Character Levi from the interactive fiction game Signalhill, both belong to @signalhill-if!)

#not whump #my art #signalhill #Levi signalhill #signalhill-if #holy shit it finally happened #my art block has decided to let me actually DRAW #or like. finish a drawing #it’s been going on for MONTHS now and turns out sometimes you just need a bit of spice to get things rolling #and with spice I mean a funky little character with issues and tattoos #i am NOT going to admit how long I spent on this while procrastinating school work. nu uh not happening #BUT. HE’S FINISHED #halfway through I lost connection and therefore my reference so I was just kinda winging it but I think he turned out fine #I mean. he already is fine but ANYWAY i am not going to fill those tags with my simping #this is NOT the place for that ahem ahem #but. yes. Levi my beloved #i also drew my mc recently but he’s not finished yet. i gotta give him some touch ups and then I might post him as well hehe :p #hmmmmmm. i wonder. if it’s obvious who my favorite little blorbo from this game is #hmmmmmmmmmmmm #actually i love all of them but Levi man. just. *Levi*#yes I’ll stop rambling now and actually hit post #nyoooooom

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namchyoon · 1 year

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i love u guys so much i hope u all know that <3

#i'm okay don't worry i just. this is a long overdue feeling your emotions thing <3 #i really wouldn't have made it through the last 3 years without this community i deeply appreciate all of you #i really do remember everyone who interacts w my posts regularly i do notice when you guys change ur pfps and ur urls-#-regardless of if ur a mutual or not and i know all of ur tagging systems hehe <3 #sometimes i can predict exactly who tagged what without even seeing the url and i hope u know u all make my day so much better <3 #ok now i'm going to log out for a bit (by that i mean like. a couple of hours max fjfjdkdk)#please don't worry about me or send me asks about this i promise i'm fine really <3

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meowonhao · 13 days

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my ticket finally came!! 🩷

#i rarely have to use my full english name unless it’s stuff like this that i have to verify myself #and it always reminds me just how long it is ajshsbsjsk #like especially in korea but honestly even by like american standards #think it’s like 26 characters total including the two spaces since i have to do my first middle and last name 😅#long ass line blacking it out taking up half the ticket #diamond life #anyways story time!#no one knows the stress interpark has put me through in the process of actualy receiving this ticket….#was supposed to be mailed out like within a week of buying it #took forever to do that #Then they finally did like sometime last week and said expect it to come 3-5 days #and it came thru the post office and i was like okay probably next week because they don’t deliver on weekends #or so i thought #anyways that was like thursday i think? then i get a text like friday afternoon #saying oh we tried to call you to come deliver the ticket (bc i have to sign for it) but you didn’t answer so #even though i did not have a single call that wasn’t a saved number all day #so i immediately called the number that texted me and they were like well it’s too late to come today #(it was like 4pm)#and it’s about to be the weekend so we’ll come on monday just make sure you answer the phone this time #even though they literally never called me in the first place 🙄#pretty sure they were just pretending so they could go home early on a friday ahsjsks #but the thing was. i wasn’t even expecting it until this upcoming week so they could have just waited and i never would have known #ANYWAYS so i was like okay fine i’ll make sure someone is here to get it on monday #tell me why i slept in bc it’s sunday and i don’t have rehearsal and i was woken up by a call #they’re like i’ll be coming to deliver your ticket in about an hour!#like it is literally sunday and you said you couldn’t deliver on weekends…..but whatever i was like oh 네 감사합니다 you know #then dude came like. 5 mins later i’m still basically half asleep and look like a mess #but anyways none of that really matters now bc i finally have my ticket but #it put me through so much unnecessary stress bc i’m always paranoid about stuff like this until i have it physically in my hand #even though i knew it was gonna come and be okay

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dirtbra1n · 2 years

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it’s about running away and being chased and knowing when to surrender but maybe not how to surrender. it’s about chasing and chasing and chasing until you blink and realize that you went from being the hunter to being the huntee, like a looney tunes bit. except there is no laughing happening, and no punchline, and the anvil and grand piano and cruise ship landing on your head one after the other are simply metaphors. still painful, though. more than enough to send you spinning, or knock you flat, or weigh you down.

—

that is to say, on the topic of weird love:

love that is unconventional, bizarre, lacking rhyme or reason. perhaps off putting, though it isn’t really, or beyond any one name or title.

hanzawa masato hadn’t been expecting any love whatsoever. that it is unconventional (or bizarre, or off putting, or so on) is salt in the wound.

(not that it doesn’t suit him, he knows himself to be someone who is, in more than one manner of speaking, fairly weird. acknowledging this is further salt in an exacerbated wound.)

tangentially: hanzawa masato doesn’t ordinarily have any particular desire to die, but recent circumstances have pushed him to reconsider.

who made you feel like you have to handle things alone? did we teach you shame? do you think we don’t want to look after you anymore?

well, fine, “to die” is something of an extreme. he doesn’t think he actually wishes to die, doesn’t want his heart to stop beating or his neurons to stop firing. it just has to be a violent enough reset, send him back to a youth where he’d wake up every morning and choose to be busy as a fun pastime rather than a survival tactic.

not a snapped neck, but, well. whatever.

—

he’s back at the river. he never has his pant legs rolled up. it’s getting on his nerves.

the current is mild today. he can almost make out his face in the water, not that he wants to spend any time admiring his reflection. the sun’s beating down on him, too-warm on his skin. he inhales heat and regrets it.

his eyes reflected are wide open as they stare up at him. the reflection looks like it’s getting clearer.

masato doesn’t like that.

submerging his head, he figures that it couldn’t be any harder to breathe with water in his lungs than it is without.

—

sometimes, very rarely, when he has time alone with his thoughts, masato forgets how to breathe. becomes over-conscious of it and does it wrong, inhaling without feeling like enough oxygen is getting to his brain. his entire chest will move up and down but it feels like he’s dying.

to be frank, masato feels like he’s dying a lot. running on autopilot, it seems, is better for him in the long run.

but, well. that’s boring.

inhale for elastic muscle activation, exhale for large muscle contraction. draw your arm back, hit the ball.

breathe, won’t you?

leaving tashiro after club is easy. walking to the station to wait for the train is easy. clouds are gathering overhead. he rests his eyes awhile. rookie mistake.

his rib cage is rickety and the joints in his fingers have gone stiff. his neck has hardly any mobility to speak of. images like shadow puppetry are playing on the backs of his eyelids. weird love. mapping intimacy, tashiro drums his fingers on masato’s chest, where the bones of his rib cage jut out. presses down on the joints of each of his fingers until they pop.

stands behind him with his head in his hands and guides it just so until his neck cracks—

masato feels the train’s arrival in his bones. he opens his eyes. he feels geriatric. something about the barometric pressure.

tashiro-kun, do you know any chiropractors?

he squints at his phone, bleary.

with a license, he clarifies, unnecessarily.

—

masato is a little worried that he might have strange tastes.

—

it’s like this: being with tashiro gonzaburou is terribly easy for hanzawa masato when he’s not in love with him and wonderfully difficult when he is. this is an on-off situation. this makes everything worse. riddled with impossibilities—frankly masato’s convinced it’s a sickness. or a curse.

standing against the violent current with his feet planted firmly in the silt, masato ponders the symbolism at play. rivers representing cleansing, rebirth, the beginning of things. he, symbolically, watches a coffin bob apathetically downstream to his right. he, symbolically, wades with great difficulty to catch up with and lie in it. cleansing, rebirth, the beginning of things. destruction, also.

masato’s good with literature—the basis is that you cannot build upon what’s already been built. what existed must be razed to be remade. something must die to facilitate a rebirth. religious undertones abound, though flood myths are universal.

definitely a sickness; he wonders if there was ever any basis for this, before. he doesn’t really want to believe that tashiro was the first. selfishness. sickness. the sort of thing the river’s supposed to cleanse him of. what he should do is get out of the coffin, maybe swim around a little.

he doesn’t.

masato stares up at the sky above him, listens to the wood creaking around him. imagines he’s in a boat instead. a flood so great it threatens even the heavens—the rocking of his “boat” is making him a little, well, sick.

he jolts awake. riddled with impossibilities. weird dreams shouldn’t count.

they do, though.

he has reason to believe that the creaking of the “boat” was actually the creaking of his bones. he feels brittle enough to have earned the spot in that coffin. it might’ve been his all along.

he really doesn’t like that.

—

ah.

masato wants to live.

#the hanzawa masato post….. 3!!!!!#hanzawa masato #this was supposed to be straightforward and also not prose. like very explicitly i had planned for this to be not prose #because it was supposed to be a soft sell. a guided tour through the dirt brain so to speak #to. you know. ‘soft sell’ hanzawa to tashiro. i would be wearing a tinfoil hat and everything #but. well i really never learn. that’s the moral of the story #hanzawa to tashiro #maybe i’ll readmore a rb of this with the worst of it #themes and all. all of THIS is to say that this is less a sales pitch and more fic drafting #which is unfortunate. since i’m notoriously terrible at drafting fics.#whatever whatever whatever. hanzawa masato haunts me wherever i go. and also tashiro is there #I PROMISE I ALSO CARE ABOUT TASHIRO. JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR.#it’s just that hanzawa masato is haunted by images of the river and i am haunted by images of him in the river.#the metaphor has long since spiraled out of hand. i’m fine with it #fuck i forgot #long post #tacking this on the end also.#hanzashiro #sasaki to miyano #hirano to kagiura #at this point. yeah it’s like darts. throwing tags at the end like darts #dirtbrain writing

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