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#lol stands for this will be my doom
medichamcham · 3 months
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(wistful sigh) sometimes i do wish more ppl shipped orbitshipping... wah wah .
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andoutofharm · 1 year
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i won’t be home with you tonight
(shorter version) pete & patrick (the youngblood chronicles, miss missing you) // chelsea (phoebe bridgers, alt. version)
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danhowellz · 1 year
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ok heres my two cents on tour and the cancelled dates. imo its been a real mixture of everything as to why dates haven't sold out/been cancelled. I think they (dan and his promoter team) booked venues that were just too big. majority of the venues have been 1-2k capacity and dan just doesn't have that kind of audience anymore, not on his own anyway. this goes hand in hand with dan perhaps not promoting the tour as much as he could have. now i love him so much but u can't expect people to go and see u if you ain't doing anything online ??? i know he's said countless times that he's a perfectionist when it comes to what he uploads. whether that be a tweet or an instagram post and he's said he struggles knowing what he wants to upload, especially with his videos. unfortunately this doesn't go hand in hand with wanting to go on a world tour and have actual real life people come and watch you. like if he's not giving us anything online what incentive is there to see him irl?
i also think back to what he said about the pre show q&a only being in the uk/america/canada bc the other venues didn't know how well it would work and didn't wanna risk adding it (which makes no sense tbh bc people have already bought tickets so they'll wanna see a q&a??) i think some of these setbacks have been due to the fact he's still seen as "just a youtuber" and like dnp have mentioned before when talking about tatinof/ii, venues were so reluctant to host their show bc they aren't mainstream celebrities/comedians. it makes me wonder if dan has ever thought about dipping his toes into traditional stand up comedy and building up an audience via actual gigs and shows as well as creating content online.
i really like what @yonpote said here that he should have done the tour in stages rather than announce a full world tour at the start. he could have seen how well it did in the uk and then planned better for venues in the usa/aus/nz/europe. but hey i guess thats the beauty of hindsight and maybe if he did another tour he'd do it differently (or just not work with these promoters tbh they've been a mess from the start. remember the oxford/cambridge chaos?)
all of this to say we'll never know any of the answers bc dan certainly isn't gonna tell us (most likely bc contractually he can't lol) i do hope he talks about the iceland show though and communicates with us as an audience (something i dont think either of them are great at but thats another post lol) and i just hope all of these cancellations havent like stressed him out too much
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bibiana112 · 6 months
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Hhhhhhhh I wanna be hired so bad
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mesaryth · 6 months
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sorry if i seem like I'm being dramatic over that I didn't let it go at allll irl though I brought it up about every 5 minutes until he left
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zukkaoru · 1 year
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it's all "must a book have a plot? is it not enough to just write about vibes?" until nathaniel hawthorne writes a 300+ page novel based entirely on haunted house vibes. then it's suddenly "too long winded" and "nothing happens" and he "took 300 pages to say something that could have been said in 40"
#/hj#is this the best novel i've ever read? absolutely not oh my god he goes on and on about philosophy and his paragraphs are SO LONG#but listen. it's about the vibes. it's about the haunted house. it's about the generational curse and is it actually a curse? who knows!#it's about the mystery of whether or not something supernatural is happening or if everything has an explanation#it's about the cyclical tragedy and characters both doomed by the narrative and haunting the narrative#it's about how dwelling forever on what could have been will prevent you from moving forward#it's about how you shouldn't judge someone based on appearance#it's about how the end of your life is only the beginning of your legacy and YOU get to decide if you will be simply repeating the actions#of your ancestors. or if you are going to be the one who finally breaks the chain and says NO. this is wrong and i won't stand for it#it's about choosing which family you hold onto and which family you distance yourself from#it's about the fact that alice deserved better and hepzibah's loyalty deserves recognition and phoebe might give everyone sunshine#but she should learn to keep some of it for herself too#it's about the fact that hawthorne takes 300 pages to say:#our property and every physical thing we have in this life will not follow us and we should not live our lives according to the whims dead#men left in their wake. but it does no one any good if we erase the past entirely#you just have to be willing to see it#SORRY APPARENTLY I HAVE. A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK LOL#hello grace here
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mothmanchronicler · 2 years
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everyone is arguing abt bughead vs jabitha today but i'm pretty sure he loves both of them (in a most unfortunate way)
incoherent thoughts abt this in the tags but the conclusion is that tabitha deserves a happy ending
#sometimes you literally cannot help the emotions someone drags out of you !!!#i have an ex that can still make me feel the grief of our break up years later#i'm not in love with them anymore and i'm happily dating my fiancé but like ??? sometimes pain and love are seared into your essence dude#also i think it's a better narrative choice because it creates a very emotional/intense choice for tabitha to make#and maybe this is wishful thinking with the rvd writers but jabitha choosing to stay together in the end would be ...#bittersweet? realistic?#a true picture of loving someone so much that you choose them even when it hurts both of you?#and on the flip side- if bughead got back together? WOOF#i won't stand here before you and lie that i didn't enjoy bughead (it's fun to watch tender loving toxic relationships sue me!)#and yeah i'd enjoy the whiplash insanity that a bughead reunion would bring to the show for the drama#but i think bughead is not good for either of them!!! at least where they stand as individuals now#specifically thinking abt jughead lying to his loved ones still#and betty's refusal to like face her traumas with open vulnerability ?#and also both of their for some fucking reason life long aversions to therapy#but there's def more reasons that bughead not matter how much they love each other are doomed to an unhealthy relationship unless#there's a major shift in both characters (not even pretending to hope that rvd will ever explore mental health in a good way lol)#and you know what? i would love to watch that but for jughead tabitha is the chance of a healthy relationship imo#long story short betty and jughead both lack a sense of indentity in ways that hurt themselves and each other#i can't elaborate on that yet but i know it's true lol#all of this ignoring that i'm almost entirely convinced that jughead's love will be tabitha's literal demise#tabitha loves this broken little man with all of her heart and i'm wondering if that's a healthy relationship for her#i want to know more abt what jughead envokes within tabitha that she feels makes him worthy of such love#actually i just want to know more abt tabitha's life before riverdale#i'd like a list of her exes as well thank you#just!!! her devotion to jughead#i really want to know more abt it and her own relationship to that devotion#i'm very high and i'm thinking VERY hard abt the canon ships#don't even get me STARTED on barchie and varchie#ps jughead is gay i'm just thinking and saying words for fun
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bugflies00 · 2 years
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i genuinely need to get off twitter bc its exactly the kind of app thats bad for me. its wayyy to easy to get confrontational & reply to every take u disagree with, but then you have to be able to argue back for ur argument to have any weight, and like im just way too anxious for that 😭 my tweet got like what. 2 replies and 2 qrts? maximum? and i had to delete bc i just got so anxious. which was kind of my own doing. hence twitter being bad for me
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waywardsalt · 6 days
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for the zelda ask game: 🎭😔👊⛩️
🎭 When you play Zelda games, do you imagine being Link yourself, or is Link a separate character to you? Basically, are you Link, or is Link a separate character?
I always consider Link to be his own separate character. There's juuust enough to him most games that he has his own character, and I'm not usually one to go full self-insert with video game characters unless that's what the game is really going for. So I generally consider him to be his own separate character.
😔 Least Favorite Zelda character?
Hhhmmmmmmm normally I would say Jolene (and i think she was my answer for a similar ask game a few years ago) but I'm trying to get myself to at least somewhat appreciate her so it would be kind of counterproductive to say it's her. But it's Jolene.
👊 Favorite Zelda Villain/Boss?
Yeah no Bellum is my favorite Zelda villain... also my favorite boss! I think he's a silly little thing and a lot of fun to think wayyyy to hard about and I really like the variety between the three segments of his extended fight, plus just on a story level his whole fight is really cool. I would normally say I wish more was done with him but I can make do with crumbs so it's fine actually. I kind of want a little plushie of him.
⛩️ Favorite Zelda Dungeon/Location?
Hm... it's hard to decide on just one favorite dungeon, I've always been fond of albw's dungeons and both oot and mm have really good dungeons, but I think I'd have to pick the fire sanctuary from Skyward Sword. I really like sksw's dungeons a lot, and the fire sanctuary especially just... looks really nice and is fun to spend time figuring out. I think it's the one I enjoy the most, while the others are just fine or have some snag to them. With locations, I’m a fan of albw’s Hyrule and Lorule, and Clock Town is probably my favorite town in the entire series.
#asks#doomed-era#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#very phantom hourglass brained but sksw also owns me in a sense. big fan of control schemes that everyone else hates#not gonna tag games or anything this took me long enoguh so maybe ill be quick in tags? likely not#genuinely struggled to think of any other loz characters i actively dislike beyond a little eh i dont like em#cuz either i just dont really care? or i generally like em jolene might be the only loz character i genuinely cannot stand#its that combo of annoying game mechanic and character traits/personality/whatever thats just like. man i dont enjoy this at all#anyways. i think the general control scheme of sksw and the fact that i tend to play standing up helps me enjoy the dungeons a lot more#also they just are really cool. i love albw's dungeons sm and oot + mm dungeons are incredible but ough sksw#ph is fine lol. as much as i love it the dungeons are eh theyre serviceable theyre fine#i think some loz characters i kinda dont like are like. botw/totk link (oversaturation and totk taints everything it touches for me) that#one creep by gerudo town in botw/totk mayyyybe tingle but thats nothing new uuhhhh. god i dont really have any i dont like#cuz like with botw/totk none of the characters get enough screentime for me to give much of a shit#and for the other games i generally like all of the characters? its the fuckin. ph tunnel vision i have the strongest feelings abt ph#i do like the temple of the ocean king. and a minor location i like is that one island with the fairy upgrade spring thing#its a neat little island. and link just has too much going on w/ his place in the story and whatever that hes his own thing for me#also like. as. a fic writer. i kind of have to view link as his own separate character anyways#skyward sword scratches an itch in my brain i love the gameplay sm. i also really love its visual style its a nice game to look at#oot and mm are just like. good??? i replayed oot recently and ofc its fucks but i need to replay mm so bad i dont think ive ever replayed i#im just extremely fond of albw since its the first loz game i actually finished and i just spent a lot of time with it while younger
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Doom Days IS the best album, wow you have taste!
thank you so much!!! i am fighting against the wild world girlies day and night for her (doom days). The best album, not only by the band bastille, but ever in the history of music <3
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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I am slowly drip feeding unit swap vbs more songs they have a whole 5 (ish) now wow good for them
#rat rambles#sekai posting#random card au#now tbf 3 are for an and the other 2 are for kohane so the character balance isn't. great.#but to tbf part 2 ena is literally the main protag of unit swap 25ji and she only recently got 1 song to herself#but hey she had a presence in serveral other songs so she wasnt completely absent#unlike akito and toya who very much are currently lol#the problem is that toya is underdeveloped and akito has the ena problem where most of his stuff is watching his fucked up friends like wtf#ok ok ena is way more proactive in her perceiving of the fucked up friends than akito is but still point stands#but yeah I wouldnt be surprised if the girls collectively got like 10 songs before any of the boys got one#hashtag feminism <3#it's also just easier to find songs for them since they had their whole doomed toxic yuri thing going on#+ a whole load of other issues that I actually have fleshed out lol#girlie who fantasizes about murdering someone and girlie that fantasizes abt being murdered#<- not in a romantic way they just have issues 😔#also fun fact the biggest red flag song on the unit swap au playlist and devatably any of my au playlists period belongs to kohane good job#tbf to kohane its not abt anything she ever acted upon just the fantasies of a fucked up 14 year old who has been on the internet since she#was like 9 and as such has a bit of a. skewed perception of how relationships are supposed to work.#anyways the song is gallery piece by of montreal I was not even slightly exaggerating when I said they were doomed toxic yuri#again obligatory reminder that these two never got left alone long enough to truly dive off the deep end so dw too much#basically a lot of the follow up to their unit story is the two going oh hot damn we were absolutely so fucked up thank god we drifted apart#less so oh we were in an abusive relationship and more so we were almost in an abusive relationship and we dodged a bullet#kohane eventually gets sleep meds and realizes that she wasn't in fact a husk of a person she just had been dealing with chronic insomnia#and an eventually gets the emotional support shes been desperately needing for the past like what 5 years#both still have issues ofc but they manage to stop actively spiraling and enabling eachother as they do it#get my girlies some anxiety meds they're both trembling chihuahuas and they dont even have someone to carry them in their handbag smh
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fuckmycrane · 7 months
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Moon — Thomas Shelby.
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— CW: 18+!, smut. breeding kink, (slight) housewife kink, mentions of kidnaping. Age gap. | word count: 1.7k. (not proofread!)
— a/n: I have no clue from where this came from. I'm not in the best mindset and this happened. This is also my first time writing for Tommy so don't hate me lol. This isn't canon compliant ig because I don't want it to be. I just want him so bad it's not even funny.
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Vulnerability. 
It was a word he never thought he’d truly understand the meaning of. 
It was always meant to be a secret. Why? Because good things don’t last long— not for him. Never for him. 
And every time he is away from you, it is a constant heartache that not even the strongest alcohol or an insane amount of tobacco could ease. He wishes he could steal the moon from the dark skies of Birmingham and hand it to you, he knows how much you love the moon. Night after night, he raises his head to stare at it for hours, wondering where are you, if you are thinking about him as much as he is thinking of you.
Wondering if you love him as much as he loves you.
Love. Such a funny word. A meaning both so full and so empty.
He wishes he could steal you. 
He knows how much he loves you.
It is always better to be safe than sorry— that’s why he secluded you, and you understood. Perhaps it was the naivety granted by your young age, or maybe it was your blind love for a man who was doomed since the day he was born. Whatever it was, it kept both of your hearts attached, beating as one; watching the same moon.
He counts the days, the hours, and sometimes even the minutes; he is a smart man, he knows where you are and with whom, he knows what dress you wore and who you talked to. And he does it for love. Or even obsession. A strange urge that creeps into him every night when he thinks of you after a long day of work— an urge to be loved. He counts the days, the hours, and sometimes even the minutes until he is able to see you again. To hide under that perfect, warm blanket that is your arms, your kisses, your body. 
In front of your front door, he knocks even though he knows the door is open. He has guards on every corner, eyes on every window. He already lost too many precious things in his life. He can’t afford to lose you. He built you a house, a paradise for you to enjoy, cherish and take care of. He gave you everything you could ask for, even more. Growing up, you never experienced the same deficiencies and struggles he did, you never had to lift a single finger and that’s alright for him. Because on those days when he feels powerless and exhausted, he knows he can always ride back home, and regain that power by standing next to you. 
Home. Home. Home.
“Tommy!” The squeak of excitement makes the long trip worth it. Everything is worth it if it comes to you.
He hugs you, keeping you tight against his chest wishing he could stay that way forever, basking in your delicate soul, your selfless heart. Thomas calls your name in an affectionate way that no one could evoke in such a genuine way. He kisses you with such passion that makes your blood boil and your heart flutter.
“How are you feeling?” He asks, ignoring how his mind scolds him for the hint of vulnerability that laces his voice. 
Placing your hands over your stomach, his body tenses at the small bump underneath your expensive, tailored dress. “We feel good, we missed you— I missed you” You reply with adoration. He is finally here.
“I’m here,” He says as if you needed confirmation that he is in fact in front of you. 
“How is everyone?” 
“Good” He places a large hand over your stomach, rubbing it with his palm. “Ada keeps asking me when I will bring you back to Small Heath”
“And when will that be?” Your question gives him a pang of guilt. He wishes he could have an answer, his face says it all. “It’s alright, love. I understand things are… difficult”
“Enough about that” He breathes, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. He wants the distraction, he wants the warmth, he wants you. “I’m here to see my wife, not to talk about work”
With a giggle, you kiss him. “Fine. Whatever you want”
And he loves that. He loves how willing to please you are. He loves how you let him guide you upstairs, undress you, and adore you. Thomas’ hands caress the small bump in your stomach as he carefully lifts his hips to thrust deeper, enjoying every small moan and gasp. Normally he isn’t this gentle, but he will never harm you or your baby. With his occasional grunts and pants, he grabs your thighs, increasing his pace. Watching you bounce on top of him is a heavenly sight and is in these moments when he is sure you are an angel sent from heaven from him. He might not believe in God but whatever exists in this cruel world granted him with a Goddess.
“I m–missed you” You moan digging your nails into the pale skin of his shoulders. “I missed you s–so much”
That damn wave of vulnerability washes over him, the bed creaks with your combined weight, creating a delicious, sinful melody that he evokes on those nights when he is too desperate for your body and has to find relief in his own hands. 
His large hands cup your breasts, paying attention to your swollen, sensitive nipples. Thomas pinches them gently watching you tremble. He can already imagine them full and heavy, ready to take care of the baby that you are expecting— his baby. A louder groan falls down his lips at the thought. Such a wonderful mother you will be. Such a perfect, precious housewife. 
Such an angel sent from heaven.
“I love how you look” He confesses in a husky fashion, bouncing your tits in his calloused palms. “I can’t wait to see you— to see you all round and heavy with my baby”
His words send a shiver down your spine, clenching around him and making Thomas hiss from the raw pleasure of your tight pussy. “Please— don’t stop”
“I wasn’t plannin’ on, doll”
Thomas dares to increase the pace, using one hand to grope your ass to keep balance. Your moans also increase in volume, igniting the primal desire to claim you inside of him. “You are so fucking tight— I will fucking pump another baby into you as soon as you have this one”
You nod fervently, closing your eyes and scratching his chest. “Yes! I’ll have as many as you want Tommy— anything you want! Anything”
The loyalty he so loves. 
His lust wins over his composure for a moment, landing a sharp slap over your asscheek that makes you whine and clench again causing him to grit his teeth. He is aware of how much you adore it when he is rough with you, he thrives on the submission you gave him since day one. Unable to help himself, your husband slaps your ass repeatedly, relishing the cries of pleasure that call him like a siren to a poor, lost sailor. 
“Say you are mine” He grunts after another hard slap. He isn’t going to last any longer. Not with such a breathtaking view. 
“I belong to you!” You comply instantly. “I am y–yours! I’ve always been” He knows you are telling the truth. That’s why he had to take you away from your home, to manipulate you in order to give up your last name, to cast you under his spell— that’s why he had to have you since he first landed eyes on you. 
But at the end of the day, he was the one wrapped around your finger.
He is the one wrapped around the velvety, soft walls of your cunt, squeezing him for dear life and silently begging him to breed you, use you, claim you…
Love you.
With a strained cry, you come around him. He could watch you unravel on top of him for hours— in fact, he has.  Your movements were slow, deliberate, and intense. He could feel his breath hitch as you moved, and his heart raced as you arrived at your climax. His gaze was unwavering as he watched you ride out the waves of your pleasure. Thomas followed you seconds after, moaning your name under his breath; he fills you up just the way you both adore, it’s evident that when the hours pass, time is the only thing left to waste. Panting above him, he carefully settles you next to him, spooning you and keeping his softening cock inside of you. This is how he wants to end every day, to wake up every morning. 
Kissing your sweaty neck, he breathes you in, memorizing your scent once again. He knows his time with you is limited before someone notices his absence and begins to track him. Thomas needs to be two steps ahead of anyone. Your soft giggles make him smile, a genuine smile that feels so foreign to him. Under the darkness of your bedroom, his hands caress your hot skin, providing you with the heat and care he knows you crave. 
“I love you” You whisper, closing your eyes and falling asleep rather quickly. He listens to your heavy breathing, peaceful and unbothered; and that’s how he wishes it could stay forever. Away from worries, stress, fear. 
“I love you, more than you can imagine” He musters, hiding his face on the crook of your neck.
It’s true. Because love is such a funny word that gives him such a funny feeling. 
A warm, fuzzy feeling.
He opens his eyes, raising his head to look at the windows. The curtains are wide open, the weak glow of the full moon casting a divine glow over your naked body. His lips land on your shoulder, allowing the sensation to wash over him. It's a moment of peace and serenity, a moment in time that will never be forgotten. A moment he doesn’t want to end. 
Tomorrow. Tomorrow he will bring you back where you belong. It doesn’t matter the consequences, it doesn’t matter if the whole world finds out Thomas Shelby was the one who kidnaped Jack Nelson’s younger sister. As long as he has you, he is alive.
And he swears it to the moon.
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purinfelix · 5 months
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Hello! I love your writing 💕 can i request something fluff with gavi?
post-match routine ˙✧˖°
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pairing: gavi x reader (established relationship) summary: your plans for post-match cuddles with your boyfriend are interrupted when he debuts a new haircut at a game warnings: none - just fluff !! w/c: 988
a/n: thank you sm for the rq and kind words anon!! <33 i had an idea to write smth like this a while ago (when gavi first cut his hair lol) but i'm missing him a lot now so :"") here it is - consider it a love letter to his long and fluffy hair
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The jingle of keys echoing through your empty apartment alerted you of your boyfriend’s arrival home after a match. You craned your neck from your spot on the couch, where you had made yourself comfortable to doom scroll on your phone. Due to an overload of work you had had to miss this game, but had just been catching up on its events after finally muscling your way through your workload. The boys had won, of course, but there was something else that had caught your eye when looking through match highlights  - your boyfriend’s hair. 
You almost didn’t believe it when you saw the clips of him walking out from the locker room, seeing how short he had cut his hair almost sent you spiralling. Obviously, you would still love him nonetheless, but his fluffy hair had always been one of your favourite things about him. And now, it was just so short. And you may or may not have taken to your various social media platforms to express your disdain for it, which you may or may not have overexaggerated for the sake of humouring his fans. 
As you heard the door swing open though, you tossed your phone aside to focus your attention solely on the heaving mass that was your boyfriend as he staggered in. He really looked like hell, and you weren’t just talking about his new haircut, you would choose to bite your tongue on that for now. After an intense match, without having been subbed off once, he stood there sweaty, visibly aching with a pained expression. 
“Hello baby,” you coo smoothly, watching as the bags he was only just holding onto fell to the ground around him. Usually after long matches, espeically one’s you couldn’t attend, Gavi would come home and collapse into your arms. It was his way of ‘recharging’ before getting cleaned up. 
But today was different. He simply stood there, swaying side to side - although you were sure this was more a result of the unstoppable force of fatigue than any actual deliberate choice of his. There was one feature though that told you all you needed to know - a familiar pout spread across his face as he looked down at his own feet. 
“You really hate my hair that much?” His tone was quiet, his voice nothing more than a small, meagre ask. He must’ve seen your tweets, and your story, and maybe the few messages you had sent to him in the blind flurry that had followed first seeing his hair. You almost felt bad, hearing how guilty he sounded and it took everything within you not to give into your cuteness aggression and smother him right there and then. 
“No,” you let out a soft laugh, “I was only kidding,” 
“But, your tweets … and your stories …” he began, sounding so upset you couldn’t help but interrupt him. 
“It’s not my favourite of your looks, but I still love you, hm?” 
“Oh, thank god …” Gavi let out weakly, followed by a sigh of relief as if he had been waiting an eternity just to hear those words. Finally he managed to stagger over to where you were, albeit unsteadily, before collapsing onto you. 
You let out a soft exclamation at the feeling of your boyfriend’s entire body weight pressing down on you, a feeling you had come to not only find familiar but also a great deal of comfort in. He was sticky with sweat and his body radiated a heat you could only barely stand. But despite this he was still your boyfriend, your Gavi, and so you did the only thing you knew to do - wrap your arms around him and pull him closer. 
He let out a croak of thanks at this, shifting into a more comfortable position with his head turned to the side as he offered you a weak smile. 
“You played well today,” you mumble endearingly. 
“You say that every game,” he was quick to respond, even through the fatigue his attitude was strong. 
“Not my fault you play well every game,” you shot back even quicker, fingers coming up to delicately brush away the stray strands of hair stuck to his forehead. You let your fingers dance across his face, his cheeks, his eyebrows, each touch softer than the last. He only let out a hum in response, closing his eyes at the feeling he’d come to love far more than he’d ever admit. 
You two sit in silence for a while, and you had thought your boyfriend had drifted off to sleep on your chest as it would’ve been far from the first time he had. Rather though, he had just been listening in silence to your heartbeat, ear pressed to your chest, rising with each breath. Suddenly, the silence was broken by his soft voice coming once more. 
“Do you really think Pedri’s hair is nicer than mine?” You weren’t even looking but you could tell these words were coming from pouted lips. He must’ve been making reference to one of the throwaway tweets you had made about his haircut, because you could barely remember now. 
“Maybe,” you start, but as you watch his eyebrows furrow you’re quick to change your answer, accompanied by a laugh, “No, of course not.” 
At this, Gavi smiled, letting out a soft laugh of his own - music to your ears. He used what was left of his diminishing energy to take your hand, which up until now had been softly stroking his nape, and press it languidly to his lips. It was about as much affection as he could show in his tired state and you knew that all too well as you gazed down at him fondly. 
“You’ll be the death of me someday,” was the last thing he confessed, barely above a whisper but loud enough that you caught it, before drifting off to sleep.
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expvrgction · 2 years
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Don’t chase the rabbit ((For Doom Guy))
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Source!
---
Finally, a contact terminal somewhere in this fiend-infested research base! Billy had been without ways to contact anyone. His own crew and scientists who didn't get out in time were killed-- And he could even witness as some turned into shambling remains of who they once were. In short, those could be called zombies.
That bastard Betruger was nowhere to be found. Did he escape using one of those portals? Or worse, one that came from Hell itself?
Trying to record a voice log would alert demons nearby, so instead, He started typing, having entered credentials for Charles. This could take days at best, but he hoped that his message would be sent.
'Colonel Barnes,
Shit just hit the fan on Mars. Real fast. Don't have too much time to elaborate.
Betruger's plans worked-- Mars and Phobos are both being ransacked from portal anomalies, and I can't see Deimos. I... I can't describe fully what I encountered, but almost more than half of staffing on both posts were KIA. Lots of unidentified and hostile creatures coming out of portals, last I heard from my former crew over radio. Can only assume that they're those "demons" both research facility staff had been talking about.
I'm dead serious-- I recommend getting both the Headquarters and the UAC Austin branch alerted and have troops mobilized as soon as you read this.
Agent Three, out.
P.S: Please make sure that my family and rabbit is safe too-- It's going to be hard to imagine if they all die.'
...It didn't take too long for poor William to soon realize that he was in a dream. More specifically, a memory of his past.
Made him real uncomfortable, but at this point, he no longer freaked out as much. But who was that in front of him? It was rude of them to enter his dreamscape.
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Jade & Lilia reacting to their fem s/o that vapes/smokes 👀
Part 4 of S/O Who Vapes/Smokes
(Azul, Jade, Jamil, Lilia)
A/N: ironically I started this before I tried vaping and now I'm trying to quit 😅 (20 days sober lol)
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The sheer surprise Azul experiences by seeing a cigarette set casually in your fingers is unexplainable by his standards
Smoke billowed from your parted lips and he let out a small squeak of shock
You turned towards your boyfriend and felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment
“A-Azul! When did you get here?”
“Just in time to see you engaging in a disgusting habit.”
Shame flooded your system and you scowled
In anger you took another long draw and you felt his gaze burn into you
He scowls and marches over to you
You pull back and look at him with defiance but startle when his gaze softens a bit
“Y/N” he started cautiously, “You know I love you and support you no matter what you do, right?”
You nod hesitantly and he continues “But I also want what is best for you and I might come from the sea but I do know a thing or two about stuff that hurts humans.” 
It was hard to look him in the eye as he said that and you busied yourself snuffing out the cigarette
“I love you, Angel but this isn’t good for you and you know it.”
“I know but I can’t help it. Azul it helps, it really does.”
He sighs and sits down next to you, his nose wrinkling at the smell of your after smoke. 
“There are people who can help… I can look into some resources for you?” he asks careful not to upset you
For a moment you sit in tense silence before finally turning towards him with sad eyes
“Can I try to quit on my own first?” 
He smiles and nods at you before kissing you briefly even though you know the smell and taste bothers him
“Of course Angel. I’m with you every step of the way.” 
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You’ve only been vaping for about a month but you could tell you were already addicted to it
The flavor, the feeling, the smell, the buzz, all of it was more addicting than anything you’ve ever experienced
The problem you had now was that your boyfriend just caught you taking a hit and you were suddenly regretting all of it
Jade was quiet for a moment, standing in your dorm room doorway stiffly
As if he snapped out of a trance he stepped into your room and closed the door behind him as he set his bag down
“So, how was your day?” 
You cringed inwardly and looked down at your vape which you still held like it was a lifeline that could save you from this conversation
“Jade…” 
“My day was good, Floyd tried to beat up a student and Azul wants me back early tonight to test out a new recipe before he opens the lounge”
His eyes met yours and you saw cold indifference in them
It hurt your heart to see him like this after you spent so long trying to get to the softer side of him which he rarely let anyone see, not even Floyd had been given that privilege since they were kids
“Jade!”
He raised an eyebrow and sighed dramatically as he sat on your bed
“Listen little Coral, I don’t care what you do or don’t do with your life but I do know that there are other ways to handle your problems.”
You bit your lip, feeling like a scolded child 
“You will get through this and next time you feel the urge to bring that nasty device to your precious lips, come to me and I will distract them with a much more therapeutic activity.” 
You blushed wildly and gawked up at him 
“Now about that test you have tomorrow” he said with a smirk
You scowled at the thought of the impending doom that loomed over you then grinned as an idea struck you
“You know Jade, I’m kinda feeling like vaping right now. Maybe I could take you up on that offer?”
Needless to say, you didn’t get much studying done
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It’s late when Jamil finds you smoking off the balcony at Scarabia
Kalim had invited you to stay the night after another one of his parties and you agreed knowing it would make the childish dorm leader happy
You didn’t expect that anyone else would be up this late so when you heard a shocked gasp you startled
Jamil had been on his way to the kitchen to make some tea for Kalim who was having trouble sleeping but strayed from his original task to take the cigarette from your hand
“What are you doing?!”
You rolled your eyes as if you were annoyed even though you just didn’t want to see the disappointment in his gaze
He waits patiently for a response but when it’s clear he isn’t going to get one he sighs
He takes your hand gently and pulls you towards him into a hug
“I know that you can’t help it if you are addicted but if you aren’t yet please stop. I love your voice and I love you, I can’t imagine not having either one day because of this.”
You look up at him with shameful tears in your eyes and he frowns as he wipes them gently
“I’m sorry Jamil.” 
“I know, and I’m sorry you feel like you have to do this.” 
The two of you talk for hours into the night about how he can help you and eventually you fall asleep in his arms
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Lilia has seen and tried just about everything there is to try so when he sees you with a mysterious device in your mouth he is confused
You pull the vape device from your lips and he watches as white vapor follows it
As he gets closer he notes that it smells like the fruity scent you usually have
He had assumed it was some kind of perfume but he supposes it probably comes from your peculiar vapor device
That's when it hits him- the smell of nicotine hidden under sickly flavoring
Any normal human wouldn’t be able to scent something so subtle but to him it’s as if you had bathed in the stuff
“Love?” he appears next to you suddenly
Months ago that would have scared you but now you found it endearing
“Lilia!” you exclaim, slipping your vape into your pocket in what you hoped was a natural and unnoticeable way
He raised an eyebrow and summoned the vape to his hand and held it in front of you
“What is this odd device?” he asks in his rare serious tone
Sighing you explain to him that it is a modern way of smoking and that it is healthier than cigarettes so it is ok to do
He frowns through your explanation
“First, nothing that contains addictive non-prescription substances could ever be healthy in any way, second I can smell the chemicals that are no doubt doing damage to your lungs as we speak.”
Maybe he was being a little dramatic but he knew how sensitive humans were to these things and he would do anything to keep his human healthy and safe
You look at the ground while he speaks and he sighs in frustration
He doesn’t want you to feel scolded or ashamed, he just gets nervous about your health
“We will figure it out ok love? For now can you try not to do it as often?”
You nod and he kisses you soundly, Lilia will do anything for his human and he vows to find an alternative to your vaping device that allows you to feel secure in yourself and him to feel secure in your health
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kiss-me-muchoo · 4 months
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𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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part one: we’ll be safe and sound || part two: isn’t it delicate?
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ Lucy Gray Baird was once your best friend. But Coriolanus Snow arrived and it was you who had them both charmed up. Where Coriolanus returns to the Capitol thinking he killed two women. Only to be surprised to realise that he doomed the bright prospect of his future.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ ANGST, kinda Lucy Gray x Coryo x reader, chasing, blood, slight gore if you imagine some scenes, poisonous berries, mentions of aphrodisiacs, drowning, violence, this gets slightly dark.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ this is one of my favourite fics ab Coriolanus so far. Main songs are Safe and Sound (Taylor’s version), can’t catch me now again and triste verano lol. Part two is going to be the aftermath of this btw
♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)
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The water was warm. The soft rocks at the bottom made it slippery to stand still. But you did your best to stay there, looking at your friends laughing and playing where the water was deep.
“I can’t do it.” You say, shaking your head.
“You’re such a baby. Of course, you can!” The girl beside laughs at you and gently pushes you.
“Lucy Gray! I swear if you push me again I’m killing you” she laughs harder.
“Lucky me I know how to swim and you don’t”
“Relax. Just take my hand, I’m not letting you drown” Slowly, you take her hand, letting Lucy Gray guide you deeper into the water.
“I’m closing my eyes” you warn her. She rolls her eyes and laughs. The voices of your friends and the splashing sounds closer. At the same time, you feel the water has reached your chest. And it sends you on spirals.
“It’s okay. Just let go…” You’re holding Lucy Gray’s hand too tight. But as you reach further, you start making a big attempt to float. That’s when Lucy Gray grabs both of your hands to help you.
She finds your furrowed brows and insecure face funny and cute at the same time.
After some existential nights, the young girl questioned if she had ever felt such a strong connection with anyone as she did with you.
No. Never.
“Lucy Gray!” When she comes back to reality, she smiles shocked. She had dropped your hands but you had managed to keep floating. You were swimming.
“See? You did it!” Some of the members of The Covey cheer and you smile and laugh at their jokes.
“Told ya’. You’re just a baby” You poke your tongue out and she just makes fun of you.
“So funny. Shouldn’t you be at the market helping Maude Ivory to sell the necklaces we made?” Lucy Gray rolls her eyes again.
“Shouldn’t you be home?” It’s noon, almost dark. And yes, you should be home.
“I should.” To Lucy Gray, it was a disappointment to see that you never shared anything about your family or home. She just knew your mother’s family was from District 4, nothing else.
“Go home. I don’t want you to get scolded.” She was too sweet. Too sweet that you questioned if Lucy Gray Baird was your best friend.
“Petal, I’m almost eighteen…” one of the girls threw you a towel as soon as you made it out of the lake. After thanking her, you slip into your black sundress, which captures your alleged best friend’s attention.
“Why the black dress?” As a colour lover, you supposed Lucy Gray was hating your dress.
“It was the first thing I grabbed,” you admit, drying your hair with the towel.
“It looks like you’re going to a field funeral.”
“Maybe I was. In case I happened to have died in the lake” you joke, making her splash you. Lucy Gray noticed at that moment that you used many words that sounded too educated.
“Do you trust me so little?” She asked as she watched you leave.
“You know I trust whoever is loyal to me.” And with that, you disappeared through the trees.
There was something on you that intrigued Lucy Gray. And soon there will be two.
One night, at the hob, Lucy Gray is performing with The Covey and you are seated, smiling at her and your friends. Then all of a sudden, a certain blonde and tanned boy reaches for you.
“Y/N!” You hear your name and once you turn, you spot your two new friends.
“Sejanus, hey!” He offers you a little hug but it’s nothing compared to when Coriolanus Snow got closer.
“Coriolanus…” he literally falls into your open arms, his arms snaking around your hips with so much disguise that it makes you blush at the intimacy.
“I’ve told you… you can call me Coryo” You smile at him, inspecting his charming blue eyes that still made you get lost like the first day.
“Right… Well, it’s nice to see you, Coryo” he wants to chuckle. As Sejanus gets lost to get a drink, the blonde man takes a seat beside you.
“How has your training been? Hopefully not too hard.” You ask and wonder. Coriolanus was a peacekeeper in training. You met him almost three weeks ago, and somehow he made you very happy.
“I’m used to it now. The first days were the worst” you nod, turning back to see Lucy Gray and cheer for her.
Meanwhile, Coriolanus looked at you. Even your profile was a mystery to him. There was something about you that made him feel at home. Maybe it was your mannerisms that were very… Capitol. And that’s the thing, he didn’t know you. Yet, there was something that urged Coriolanus to unveil you. And that has started to make him question his feelings for Lucy Gray.
The moment you knew Coriolanus was Capitol, you started putting everything in a balance. And as you spent days talking outside of The Covey House and the lake, you realised you had started to put an eye on him.
When you turned to see the young man, you were surprised to see him already looking at you.
“What?” You ask, smiling. He replies by looking down, cheeks slightly flushed with pink.
“Nothing.” Your hand sneaks around your neck, and you feel it naked. You have lost your necklace.
Coriolanus sees how you start looking at the table, then the floor, looking out for something.
“What happened?”
“My necklace. I think I lost it… damn it” he starts helping you.
“Maybe it fell at the entrance” he suggests. So together we leave the hob. All under the fixated look of Lucy Gray. Who kept singing but the feeling on her chest made her uneasy.
The necklace doesn’t appear.
“It was just a necklace. But…” you sigh, leaning against the wall of the alley. Just a golden chain, no pendant, nothing.
Coriolanus can only see your features under the moonlight, ignoring the necklace issue. You have a beautiful dress under an oversized cardigan. With or without the necklace, you look gorgeous.
“It was a present. From my sixteenth birthday”
“Have mine.” You look at him before giggling. He takes his tag, a silver chain with his name on it. The young man thinks you would like him even more by offering his tag to you. He wants you to become closer to him. But the offer could be seen as wrong.
“I can’t take it, Coryo” he gets closer and the proximity makes you avoid his eyes. Only to land your vision on his hand taking yours.
He slips the tag in your palm, it’s still warm.
This is the most intimate moment you’ve shared with him. And you don’t know how to feel about it.
“At least until you get a new necklace” he suggests, offering a little smile. You can see he has no moles around his face, barely visible freckles maybe. His skin is very clear and his lips…
As you’re too focused on analysing his face, you accept the chain. And for some reason, you let him play with your cold fingers.
“Until then…” he leans closer, and the air suddenly feels fogged. It could be just another humid summer night.
But no, it was because Coriolanus Snow was less than two inches away from kissing you.
His free hand was ready to land behind your neck, just to slightly push you towards him and finally discover what your lips felt like.
“Where were you two?…” the side door of the hob opened. And like two volts, you and Coriolanus separate from each other. You grasp his tag tightly around your hand in a fist.
Lucy Gray had seen the interaction.
“Just looking for y/n’s necklace,” Coriolanus said first, walking away from you.
“Oh. Well, we were just waiting for you two. They want to start a round with beers” the girl said, rolling her eyes and giggling, pretending very well.
“Let’s go then…” Coriolanus walked past her, smiling at her like nothing happened. You tried to do the same. But Lucy Gray grabbed your forearm, stopping you from entering the hob behind the young man.
“Say the truth. Are you falling in love with him?” You frown, slightly irritated at the question.
“Of course not. I barely know him.” You replied a little too harshly. She nodded, silently believing you.
“You know I’ll never be the woman who wrecks a relationship.” She takes your word a little wounded. Seeing how you enter the hob quietly.
She just stares at the sky. You had been a good friend and she trusted you. Lucy Gray was having a little crisis. She questioned at that very moment if she actually loved Coriolanus.
Certainly not. She didn’t trust him at the beginning. Seeing him almost kissing you, was making her not trust him at the end. And Lucy Gray knew. You were so loyal to ever intentionally get involved in some affair. You preached to Not do what you don’t want to happen to you.
But the truth is that you would wreck a relationship. Unintentionally, but twice.
It was you who discovered a pomegranate tree near The Covey House. The branches were long and the season of pomegranates was until late summer, but somehow, in August, the tree was blossoming a couple of red beats.
Near the house, the nomad group had built some locations to make their lives easier. Like some stations to wash clothes and eat. Maude Ivory was sick, she started with a sore throat and she developed a stomach infection later. So you suggested picking their laundry. And since you spent more time with The Covey rather than your family, it wasn’t rare for Coriolanus to find you folding some dresses that were once hanging on a tightrope between two trees.
He stepped on a branch and it made you jump startled.
“Gosh! You scared me!” you squeaked after seeing Coriolanus standing there with his peacekeeper uniform. He grinned, leaving his little backpack on the table. He spotted a little basket filled with pomegranates.
“You picked all this?” He asked, pointing at the basket.
“Yes. It was a big surprise to see pomegranates in August. They start their season at the end of the month or September.”
“I never thought you would be that kind of girl?” You frowned laughing, turning back to fold the dresses into another basket.
“What kind, Coriolanus?” Shortly after, you know he is behind you. You can feel his breath in the nape of your neck, and it sends shivers to your spine.
“The kind who climbs trees and folds laundry while singing” your cheeks immediately go red. He had heard you sing previously.
“You heard me?”
“Indeed. Very pretty voice,” he said after sensing how embarrassed you were.
“I don’t sing. And you really shouldn’t be here. Lucy Gray was looking for you” You state firmly. Realising how much anyone could misinterpret the situation if they find you almost tangled up with Coriolanus Snow behind you.
“She was gone when I arrived here.”
“Oh…” you say, taking the basket with the laundry. When Coriolanus sees that you are also going to grab the one with the pomegranates, he stops you.
“Let me help you…” he takes the one with the fruit.
“Thank you.” He grabs your hand again, and it makes you weak. But you remember your dear friend. And the loyalty you preach.
“You can’t do this, Coryo. Not to her, not you. And not to me…” he sighs. Honestly, he didn’t want to hurt either one. But it was you who he was always trying to describe. It was you making him laugh so much. And it was you who made him feel like… home. Like…Capitol.
“You make me feel different.” You roll your eyes.
“And how did she make you feel in the first place?” They met at the Capitol. While you prayed for Lucy Gray’s survival at the Hunger Games. Boys could be liars.
“Lucy Gray made me feel like I had an option away from home.”
“But… you make me feel like I can have both. I can have this…” he says looking down at the pomegranates and folded laundry.
“And also… what I had there.” You have to look away. You see the trees and how some leaves fall because of the breeze.
“You’ll have to choose one day…” he nods, but he’s so close to you. He can see every detail of your delicate face. So as much as he tries to resist the urges, he ends up leaning closer. Your lips brush his and it’s magical. You really want to kiss him too.
“Doesn’t have to be today. Right?” His comment makes you almost retreat. And before you can walk away he pulls you to his chest again, finally kissing you.
He’s soft, yet passionate and intense. His right-hand finds comfort in the back of your neck while the other lands on your chin, deepening the kiss. For you, it’s an automatic response to put your arms around his neck.
As the kiss turns more desperate, the hand on your chin ends up pushing your lower back and you have to suppress a moan when you feel the clear outline of his manhood poke at your lower belly and part of your pelvis. It’s not enough to the fire you both initiated, but you have to stop.
Both of you pant for air and somehow he ends up smiling.
“Until the day you choose. This never happened.” You say firmly, but slowly, and you also smile at him.
Your smile was enough to keep him calm on the way back. Unconsciously, both of you feel like silly kids. Shyly walking side by side with baskets in your hands.
“So you couldn’t swim?” Coriolanus asks after some minutes walking to The Covey House.
“I couldn’t. Most of my family is from District 4. It’s embarrassing, to be honest.” He assumed you were also from there. And he couldn’t help but think that District 4 was closer than the 12 from the Capitol. Immediately he brushed away the thought.
“But Lucy Gray taught me. Kind of a violent teacher, but it was still great” you admit laughing. And Coriolanus was blushed. Surprisingly, he found himself on the verge of being jealous. Yes, of Lucy Gray teaching you how to swim.
Through the trail, one of the boys from The Covey appears, he looks too sweaty and tired, gasping and desperate.
“Y/N! Is Maude. She has a lot of fever and we don’t know what to do” You immediately worry, starting at a faster pace, followed by Coriolanus.
“Where is Lucy Gray?” You ask. The boy shrugs guiding you to their home.
“We don’t know. She’s nowhere near.” You sigh.
As soon as you make it inside, you find the girl lying on a couch, sweating and panting. Your heart broke as you kneeled beside her.
“Maude? You are going to be fine.” She seems to have identified you and slowly nodded.
Coriolanus follows you as you run to their improvised kitchen. You mix some herbs and boil them with water.
“Coryo, please hand me the honey.” He looks around to see a glass with honey and hands it to you.
And then, Coriolanus swears he fell in love with you as you treated Maude Ivory, immediately making her rest.
One night, Lucy Gray is oddly quiet. You know something’s up. So when you gently caress her shoulder, she lets out a long breath before spilling everything.
“Coriolanus shot Billy Taupe and the mayor’s daughter.” Your eyes widened, before letting a shocked gasp.
“What?” Lucy Gray nodded, confirming the facts to you.
“He did it to protect me and Sejanus. But…”
“This is bad. You know how this district is. Rumours will spark, the people will talk…” you spiral about it too panicked.
“I don’t want you nor Coriolanus to get in more trouble. What if-“
“It’ll be fine. We’ll be safe…” she hugs you, hearing how you tried to hide your sobs from her. She continues to share what happened and where the murder weapon was. She encourages you to keep the secret and play pretend until the waters soothed.
The waters only get worse. Like the tides form hours before a tsunami. After a peaceful morning, you find Lucy Gray at the market. You eat half a sandwich with her and you share that your mother was worried about the rumours. Including the fact that the authorities were starting to turn their heads towards Lucy Gray. She acts calm and used to have people talking about her. But being accused of murder was something different.
And it only gets worse when you two get closer to the chaos. Where Sejanus Plinth and the man who hid the murder weapon were hanged for treason. Lucy Gray takes your hand as you cover your mouth in shock.
You are able to see Coriolanus. The panic on his face is evident enough to make you feel uneasy. And that’s when Lucy Gray plans something.
You listen to her tell Coriolanus about leaving the districts. There are feelings of nausea, sadness, and stress washing all over you. That is abruptly cut by the couple turning to see you.
“Did you listen, y/n?” Lucy Gray asks. You stay quiet.
“Come with us. Please” she adds. You look at Coriolanus. His face doesn’t express anything, but he really wants you to agree. He knows it is a bad idea, he knows that is dangerous. But he wants to have you too.
You have plenty of reasons to stay. A little family, a home, a future. Which was certainly unsure for your dear people. They had nothing to lose.
Half of you were unsure, afraid of growing up and not being able to make it. So you had two options. And you weren’t ready to make a decision.
“Please, y/n. You’re my best friend. I can’t make it without you” Time never passed apparently. Lucy Gray and Coriolanus were still looking at you, waiting for some answer.
Your tongue gets loose before you can’t think clearly.
“I’ll come.” Coriolanus sees how the girl hugs you tightly. And he knows there’s no way back. He doesn’t know what to expect about this.
After agreeing to meet in the hanging tree, the three of you part separate ways.
You don’t think much about it. Because if you did, you would start analysing, and probably you would stay.
Coriolanus is too busy in the barracks to even remember. But he can’t help to think about you and Lucy Gray in a balance, knowing he was lingering too much on your side.
And Lucy Gray understands that in the long term, you’ll either grow old seeing her and Coriolanus being together. Only if it didn’t turn out the other way, where Coriolanus ended up taking you and it was Lucy Gray who would have to bear it.
Either way. She would leave with the only two humans he could trust. Or so she believed.
Your boots are dusted. You stare at them, a bitten prune in your right hand a little knife in the other. The way he grabs her chin makes you feel uncomfortable… and jealous.
Coriolanus didn’t kill his old self. That was for sure. You have your own theories, but you refuse to add gasoline to the fire. Not when you have made it outside of District 12.
“Not the best time to throw allusions, Coryo,” you say walking past them, separating the couple. You hoped to have soothed the tension. But you knew Lucy Gray had decreased her trust in the boy.
“You’re right. Sorry…” Coriolanus accepts looking at Lucy Gray. Then to you and your silly headscarf, your long silk dress, and fishing dark jacket.
“We really needed her. Right?” Lucy Gray throws the words, making Coriolanus frown confused. And that’s when he questioned if the girl also had some feelings for you, other than being best friends. Because the way he was on the verge of smiling at the sight of you was the same way she was looking at you.
“She will prevent us from killing each other” he attempted to joke.
“Or be the reason why we kill each other,” Lucy Gray said. Coriolanus disliked the comment.
And so on, for the rest of the walk, it’s you making the air lighter. Your smiles made Coriolanus forget the offer of moving to District 2. Even the situation where his grandmother and Tigris were in. But Lucy Gray reminded him of his errors and his new upcoming country life. Your random comments about plants that are poisonous and others that work as medicine or aphrodisiacs make Lucy Gray blush and keep focused. Knowing that having you by her side was a good sign.
You lean to pick some violet flowers, and both Lucy Gray and Coriolanus look at each other to then look at you.
“Medicine, poisonous or…?” You giggle, noticing how Lucy Gray was avoiding saying the word.
“Saffron. An aphrodisiac, actually,” you answer, looking at her blush and Coriolanus’ little smirk.
“Some threads of this with warm milk or wine and…” Coriolanus can’t help but laugh briefly. You ignore the way he looks at you. The cheeky look he offered you and how you evidently looked away, blushed.
Lucy Gray caught a glimpse of your necklace. She stopped blushing as soon as she looked carefully. It was Coriolanus’ tag. Dangling between your breasts and shining under the last rays of the sun. It was getting cloudy. Likely, a humid rain was coming.
“I’ll take the lead from here.” Lucy Gray says, her tone a little more cold.
She starts walking away and Coriolanus takes the opportunity to help you stand up.
“You should take some…” when you understand what he meant, you punch his arm.
“You’re insane, Snow” he laughs and cynically goes to trace your face with one of the flowers.
“I think I’ve made my decision.” You turn to look at Lucy Gray, who’s even further then. Then back to the blonde guy with gorgeous blue ocean eyes.
You don’t want to hurt her. Lucy Gray deserved better. But you couldn’t deny that if the days kept passing, you would completely and blindly fall in love with Coriolanus Snow.
“We won’t do anything about it. Yet…” you say, sliding a little bunch of the violet saffron flowers inside your bag. Coriolanus shakes his head. There’s a big smile on his face, returning to walk before he jumps there to kiss you.
When the rain starts you decide to find the lake. Under the rain, the dark underwater conditions made it desirable to fish. Fish were more active and hopefully, you would be able to bring something to have for dinner that night. The cabin was very near. Coriolanus stayed there and Lucy Gray came to the lake with you. She was quiet, watching how your feet were underwater, and you sank a sharp branch constantly.
“I have one!” You happily yelled, watching how the poor animal squirmed.
When you leave it in a little bag with Lucy Gray, she stops you.
“Lucy Gray?”
“I swear I won’t ask again. But please be honest, y/n.” She starts and it makes you frown confused. You drop the branch, waiting for her question.
“Do you love him?” She finally asks.
You remain quiet. But you keep your word.
“I don’t know…”
She nods, looking at the damn tag on your neck. She should’ve known.
“That doesn’t mean I’ve been acting behind your back or that I will” you add. Because it’s true. None of your encounters with Coriolanus were set by you. It was he who always looked out for you.
“Not yet.” She spits, giving you a harsh look. You sigh, tilting your head, hands on your hips.
“Are we going to ruin everything for a man?”
“I don’t know. Are you?” She asks with a sarcastic smile.
“I won’t do this, Lucy Gray. And you shouldn’t either. Not when we’ve come this far already.” You say looking away from her, grabbing the branch, and walking away.
“Alright. I’m going back to the cabin. See you there?” She asks to surrender.
“Sure.” You hear her footsteps leaving. And you can finally breathe, your eyes water and you question everything.
The long days working with The Covey, helping them to make handicrafts to sell at the market. The nights laughing nonstop with Lucy Gray and giving her to drink when she shouldn’t, how she braided your hair and caressed you. All the good performances she gave and how good the celebrations were.
Then the days you were able to have long walks with Coriolanus, getting to know little but something about his life at the Capitol. The nights you sneaked at the barracks, and both spent hours drinking and saying silly things. The soft touches he started giving you. How he cared for you and always wanted you to be okay.
You realise they are the most important people in your life outside of your family. They are the strongest connections you’ve ever made. And you didn’t have the heart to ruin it or sacrifice it.
Those thoughts are long gone after you hear some shooting. You drop the branch again and you start running towards the cabin. You forget your boots and the fish. It’s the panic of knowing something bad has happened that reigns in your head. Some dry leaves hurt your bare feet but you don’t care.
You literally jump the stairs of the cabin. And once you open the door, you spot Coriolanus with the rifle in one hand. A knife on the other. That forbidden rifle.
You see some dry blood in his arm. An evident bite was there.
“What happened?” You rush to inspect his arm.
“Snakebite” but he’s fast enough to turn and start giving you pecks across the face. And once his lips brush your chin, you can’t take it anymore.
Neither him, he finally kisses you like he never ever did.
It’s desperate. While you kiss him back, many questions keep flooding your head. And you can’t fully concentrate on his lips. So you back away.
“Where’s Lucy Gray?” He remains quiet. Slowly, you look down. Until your eyes land on the rifle. You start walking backward, shaking your head. Tears forming again.
“No…” you whisper as he tries to get closer to you again. Coriolanus wants to scream and tell you everything is going to be okay. But he knows it’s not true. He sees how you’re starting to look shocked. And he realised how smart you were, how fast you connected the dots.
He makes you sit on the creaky chair of wood. He offers you a dark brown glass, where he pours some of the water. Slowly, you take the glass, hoping to calm yourself with some water.
Once you drink a sip, you see a crushed berry. Quickly you spit the water, throwing the glass as it shatters into the floor.
It was a Lily of the Valley, a poisonous berry.
“YOU POISONED ME!” You scream. He opens his eyes and enters in panic.
“No, y/n. It was an accident!” The urge to run increased. Probably what your dear Lucy Gray tried to do. It makes you finally cry.
That crushed berry was an accident. Coriolanus told Lucy Gray to wait for you, to prevent cooking anything that was poisonous from your collection.
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” He stops you, and as soon as he touches you, your reaction is violent. You keep squirming, trying to run away from him.
He drops the rifle, but the hand with the knife keeps dangerously brushing your temple. And Coriolanus wants to stop fighting so badly, worried that he could hurt you even more. Also, he panics as he knows the poison could be spreading.
He can’t be alone. You were his remaining hope.
“PLEASE STOP, Y/N!” But you don’t.
“YOU KILLED HER! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Suddenly both of you stop. You touch your face and your whole palm is covered in blood.
Another thing Coriolanus never meant to. The knife had made a deep cut, and the scarlet kept flowing from that side of your face, covering your silk dress with spots.
“It was an accident. Y/n…please”
An accident… he wanted to kill you.
You run. You run as fast as you can. Towards the lake, wherever. As long as you could be away from Coriolanus.
He runs too, he chases you. Making you feel like his prey. You try to ignore the fear that keeps building up. You ignore the blood threatening your vision from the left eye.
“STOP, Y/N!” Coriolanus screams.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” But you don’t stop, you reach the old wooden platform at the lake. The rain splashing against the surface of the lake is loud, but not enough to silence your sobs of anger, fear, and pain.
Coriolanus also fears. He knows he’s a monster, but he didn't want to be one around you. Maybe it was his karma. He believed Lucy Gray placed his mother’s scarf on top of that snake. You believed he had purposely placed the crushed Lily of the Valley at the bottom of that glass.
He keeps running, you won’t go anywhere in that wood thing.
You turn to see him. And it destroys him. Your face and drenched dress. All covered in blood and rain. Your red and swollen eyes. He had broken you in less than twenty minutes.
And looking at his eyes was your ending. Because you slipped. Coriolanus saw how your weak body fell into the water and he ran faster.
But he didn’t jump. It was too late.
Soon he realised your body would never make it to the surface.
He cried, he screamed in that lake. He fell on his knees and cursed at the way things happened. He lost his head when Lucy Gray was gone, and he returned even more stressed as he thought you had also run away. But you came straight to his arms, hoping to see everyone was fine. And he just kept cursing, wishing he had given you a different glass.
Some minutes later, he goes back to the cabin. He takes the rifle carefully wrapped with a blanket and takes a raft.
As he lets the rifle sink into the lake, he wonders where your body had ended up. But he accepts it was probably better to let you rest peacefully underwater than disturb you.
In his head, he truly fell in love with you. Lucy Gray had been an enigma for most of the time, only to reveal her true nature in her final moments. And you, Coriolanus realised you were the real mystery.
Just like your death.
He took all the flowers you had collected and sprinkled the lake with them. His eyes watered once again. Thinking about what could’ve been. And after a minute of silence, he leaves. The lake, the cabin, the outsides of the districts.
With two remaining memories; Lucy Gray’s earring and a single saffron flower you promised to give it a try with him.
Coriolanus swears that he actually needed you. But you’re gone.
Ending up back in the Capitol makes Coriolanus feel like Lucy Gray’s death was worth it, actually. But yours makes him feel guilty. He could’ve asked you to come with him. To forget about everything that happened on the 12 and start a new life. With the Plinth fortune and Gaul’s help on his side, Coriolanus accepts the only missing piece is you.
The saffron flower rested between the pages of his journal, now dry. But the color was vivid as the day it blossomed.
Coriolanus is a new man. Who had let go of his past, but not the memory of you. He mourns your death the first week he comes back home. And he tells his grandmother that from now on he will only wear her white roses.
A symbol of peace, hope, and innocence. Which he had lost a long time ago. But it reminded him of you. Especially the hope, which was what you took away from him when you died.
So he accepts the invitation from the annoying childish girl Livia Cardew. The golden blonde was always a shy yet smiley girl in class. But Coriolanus never paid much attention to her. Until he learned Livia’s older cousin was a famous and respected politician. So he agreed to come with her to the Inauguration Day. President Ravinstill was too depressed and down after his son died at the hands of a rebel attack. So he had to retire. And Coriolanus knew it was a great opportunity to look out for contacts and form new comrades.
“You look amazing,” Tigris said, brushing her cousin’s shoulders, inspecting his dark blue suit.
“Maybe because you did this,” Coriolanus said, happy to see the young woman smiling again. After the bittersweet comment of saying he looked like his father, there had been a shift.
“With some help,” she says, admitting all the hard work was not from her hands. Now she had a little atelier where she had help and started new fashion trends at the Capitol.
“Even so, you designed it. Thank you, Tigris” he smiled at her.
“Are you still going with that girl?”
“Livia? Yes… Why?” He asked, looking at himself in the mirror.
“I don’t think she’s the one Coryo. She’s a child” Tigris admitted, arms crossed and avoiding looking at the man.
“She’s my age, Tigris.”
“Still… allow me to say this but, she doesn’t seem to be what you need” Coriolanus sighed. Of course, Livia Cardew wasn’t what he needed, she just had some contacts and a good reputation from her family. But they had nothing in common.
Coriolanus Snow needed you. An alleged district woman, who didn’t even know her last name or background. Just the sweet girl who seemed to be the remedy for all aches.
“I know she’s not the one” and Tigris knew there had been someone else than her cousin’s tribute. Something else happened. But she wouldn’t ask him.
“Listen, I’m just going with her to the inauguration, but this doesn’t mean I’ll take her for granted,” he says, pushing away his memories from you.
“Say goodnight to Grandma’am for me, please” Tigris nods, briefly smiling once again before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck.
The celebration had been very ostentatious. With a lot of people cheering for the new president. He seemed young, with a mature beautiful wife. There was a rumour that he was District 4 governor and was Mr. Ravinstill's best friend. That said a lot about why District 4 was wealthier than District 2 or three compared to before.
Nonetheless, the Capitol’s citizens seemed to be embellished by this new president who promised a new start for everyone in Panem.
Soon after the Inauguration Ceremony, only the wealthiest and finest members of the Capitol were invited to continue the celebration in a mansion near the hills. The view was amazing and the remaining minutes of the sunset were gorgeous up there.
Coriolanus had barely tasted from his posca. After you, he started to pay more attention to poison. He saw some classmates, like Festus, Clemensia, Vypsania, Hilarius, etc. A side of him wants to get closer and say hi, but Livia appears beside him, eating a little pastry.
“Imagine living here and being able to see this view every morning, evening, and night.” She says. Coriolanus hates her purple dress and red lipstick. As he thought, Livia was ridiculously trying to look mature.
“It’s a great view.” He replies coldly. The city was finally looking brighter, modern, and illuminated.
He turned to see the profile of the girl and noticed she had some cream on her chin.
“You have some-“ Livia understands and quickly wipes it away, smiling at him. She was pretty, but not his type.
“Better?”
“Yes.” The crowd suddenly starts talking, capturing the couple’s attention. So when both Livia and Coriolanus turn towards the mansion, they see two peacekeepers opening the doors from the biggest balcony. And the new man who had the crown of president appeared, followed by his wife. And then what seemed to be his family.
The guests started a round of applause, looking up from the giant patio. Coriolanus finally took a little sip of his drink.
“Dear friends and honourable guests. It is my joy to say that the inauguration ceremony was a success. My family and I feel extremely blessed and thankful for all the support we have received” the man started his speech. Coriolanus was mentally taking notes. As that was the man he would literally have to beg to become the Capitol’s governor one day. And hopefully, then become president.
“This is going to be a period of change, evolution, and a new start for the history of Panem. I look forward to meeting all the involved staff and personnel to make this real” he sounded honest, yet, like a dangerous species that you had to be careful around.
“For now, I’d like to introduce my sweet and dedicated daughter, who shall not be judged by her young age. But to be admired for the position I’m giving her, as chief of staff.” it was able to be heard on the microphone. He said the name, but no one heard.
And the first thing Coriolanus saw between the lines of the railing were some weird heels and the layers of a tulle dress.
Then a satin top with some soft knitted sweater, with shiny buttons. A delicate golden necklace and some dark brick red lips.
Coriolanus Snow almost dropped his glass. His face went pale and Livia had to borrow the glass from him.
“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly. Coriolanus nodded, but he had an evident nausea forming.
“Y/n. Come here, darling…” the new president said with a smile. Putting an arm around his daughter, proud of showing her off.
The president’s daughter was you.
He couldn’t believe it. He saw your body drowning. You drank poison, and the cut on your temple. How could you have survived?
That didn’t matter. There you were with a shy smile. Innocence is long gone. Coriolanus only saw the mystery, the danger in your face.
Seeing you there, breathing, as much as he wanted to have you alive before, was going to curse his existence.
“A toast for everyone here. To begin this new era with the right feet!” Your father said, raising his glass.
Everyone did it then.
“For the president!” The guests cheered in unison.
Fireworks started, making everyone turn to the sky. Even Livia walked a little past Coriolanus, but he stood there looking at the balcony. Eyes set on you.
You spotted him. And it stopped your world.
He looked even more beautiful than he did in 12. Longer hair, perfect weight gained. Clean and elegant suit. Now you know everything about him. And it broke your heart. You had healed through the trauma of what happened in the lake. Nobody knew, besides you and him.
You hoped to keep it that way. But you had no compassion left for a man like Coriolanus Snow. Who killed your best friend, almost killed you, and loved you the wrong way.
You knew he would be scared to see you alive. He would end up begging on his knees at the slight error he committed. He would have many questions, that time would answer for him.
Your days of being a loyal and sweet girl were gone. Coriolanus had stripped you bare from any trace of trust, unconditional love, and innocence.
You stare at him, and he looks shocked. He looks so scared and… frail. So you greet him back with a smile, sipping at your glass one last time, before looking up at the fireworks.
He really thought that it was the end.
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part two? yey or nay?
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