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citrusotakutea · 4 months

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Hey op just curious what makes you hate the new Hellsing fanbase. As a fellow Hellsing fan I was wondering if I’ve completely missed something strange going on lately.

The new Hellsing fandom honestly irks me because of the surface level probing of the source material*. Yes, to most it's a hard core, dark, violent, mad and bad-ass anime but, like I've said so often, for so long on this dumb blog, it has the BEST female characters I've ever seen, recently rivaled by Arcane. Incredible depiction of platonic relationships and morally grey characters. To me, it's primarily a found family story, among other things.

The side characters are incredible, Yumi and Heinkel are the most underrated of the show. I mean come on priest and nun lesbians (lesbian used liberally). Heinkel is confirmed by the author to be an INTERSEX HUMAN. Alucard shapeshifts into a female (which, looking at the Devilman fandom, everyone took for an obvious trans metaphor, why not here?). The source material is as homoerotic as it can get between a lot of the characters (the tension between Sir Integra and Seras during the blood scene). Let's not forget Rip van Winkle, Pip, Walter, and Alexander. Alucard's teasing, Seras' naivety and subsequent maturity, Pip's endurance and playful wittiness. These characters and relationships are stuck in my head forever, they're all incredibly unique, fleshed out and worth remembering, no matter how short a time they spent on screen. And the character designs? As a long-time vampyr and catholic guilt fan, can I just say. Rawr. This show shaped how I dress like irl and my own shitty characters, as well.

Sir Integra is my favorite character of the show and one of all time. Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Like, an actually good depiction of a no-nonsense, androgynous as hell, unabashedly commanding (dare I say) woman? And it's played completely straight? No "Whaaa that's a woman?" every 2 seconds or "heh, you will listen to me despite my womanhood" from her. Powerful in her own right despite being the few "magic"-less humans of the series. 0 sexualized Ultimate scenes (sorry Seras and the "hot down there" comment doesn't count, that was banter). She was fucking knighted by the Queen of England before she was even 25, hence Sir Integra. Canonically bi-racial and South-Asian. I'm not even going to go into her character's willpower and values but. Hellloooo???

Not to mention, something noteworthy about the series, but Hellsing works because Hirano made time for silly moments. I mean, hell, one of the scenes I remember most vivdly was the gag of Heinkel lighting Sir Integra's cigar and being mega-pissed about it during the final battle, it's funny yet in character, despite many fans saying the humor throws you out of the "reality" of the show.

Oh no, but what do the new fandom gremlins talk about? "Alufart rails Y/A" "OMG VLADCARD'S BARA HAIRY TIDDIES I WANNA RUB MY FACE AGAINST THEM" (you know who you are) “I drew the most fucked up version of Alucard I could think of in my twisted mind”

and my personal "favorite":

"omg 🥺 what if intewa and alucard kisswdd", it's almost as bad as Seras x Alucard.

Unfortunately, I am a part of the ship police, so I'm gonna say right now that these two are my most hated ships:

1) Sir Integra and Alucard's relationship goes beyond romance to me. Since none of the new fans know the lore, Sir Integra is and will die a virgin (canon), it's literally plot relevant because by having sex, if she gets bit she will become a zombie slave (obvious but apparently needed to be said) and, taking a note from the 2001 anime, gone is any chance to continue the Hellsing mission. If she was bitten, plot armor aside, she'd have to off herself instead of becoming a vampire. (and for you freaks out there/pos, dare I say… ace representation? you can argue about desire and subtext later)

2) Seras and Alucard's relationship was specifically noted by the author to be a father/daughter dynamic, which is kind of obvious in the show. Like I said, fundamentally a found family series. Yeah, you don't need to treat found family like family family but I gen can't stand this ship.

I know that people will ship characters who've never been in a room together before. I can't stop people from shipping them and these two ships have ALWAYS been popular in the fandom. I typically ignore this and, yes, "don't like, don't interact" is my main rule. However, new fans ONLY talk about this stuff. None of the rest of the show seems to matter, just Alucard's hairy mustached tig bitties and him fucking one of the two women in the main cast. Or someone's self insert.

((tangent but personally my favorite ships are Alexander x Alucard (obviously in an enemies to enemies way), Heinkel x Yumi, and a romance only Seras x s.Integra. Like, you want old women yuri??? There ya go! They were in a mansion for like 30 years (I forgot) together, probably going missions alone and sharing their grief over Alucard and their unique experience/history. Like I said, I can't help who people ship, I'm not trying to say the source material is in favor of my ships or "how dare people interpret these obviously gay characters as straight". like no, that's not why I'm upset and ik alucard and alexander weren't yaoi-ing it up but like. alucard and s.integra shippers dni /j))

Not to mention, I couldn't help but notice, despite this information being readily available to my middle school self, no one knows the fckn lore or background of this show?? I honest to god saw someone comment that Hellsing Ultimate™ was a bad “remake” because it diverged from the original anime.

Here's SOME fun facts:

-the 2001 version of the show has a different ending than the manga because it wasn't finished yet (duh). Hellsing Ultimate is "soooo short" because production took almost a decade and it was trying to be a faithful, well-animated (that takes time bruv) adaptation. Oh, and a bunch of directional changes that I won't get into.

-there are multiple OVAs following Walter's youth in WW2 (Hellsing: The Dawn). Young Walter's design honestly was one of my favorites from the series so. Walter enjoyers. Check it out.

-there is a bonus book explaining a lot about the characters and process of creating Hellsing written by Hirano himself. whenever I got a hold of it, though (8+ years ago) there was no English translation.

-Alucard didn't just transform into a girl that one time, he was in his girl form the entire time during WW2 (hence why when people mention his possible affair with the Queen it might've been a sapphic thing but I think that mostly stems from the abridged series. the queen thing not the girl thing)

-Hirano used to be a Hentai mangaka and actually designed many of Hellsing's characters in said hentai or in short stories (such as Crossfire, it's basically extra, non-canonical Hellsing content) beforehand. Which, this used to be the most popular "fun fact" but has been lost to the sands of time now, so prepare for a lot of people rediscovering this.

-personal lore is I almost named myself Rip van Winkle bc of this show (quirked up Portal, Grell Sutcliff, queer-coded, rifle-wielding shawty)

Anyway, to sum it up, I hate when people don't interpret characters in the same way I do. Yes, I am a bad “fandom elder”, idgaf I am fundamentally a hater.

*I keep seeing this happen with old shows that resurface. Unlike newer or more popular shows where every scene gets scoured, characters who showed up for one scene get analyzed, and endless cafe AUs are made- older shows mostly get fan art of the main charas and the ships of the two hottest characters and that's it. Discussion of lore and themes are completely off the table. So I'm not surprised, just disappointed.

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jadeinretrogrde · 6 months

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A Curse For True Love Spoilers!!!

SPOILERS! Beware!!

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🏹🦊🍎💘

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my thoughts while reading acftl

- apollo you son of a bitch

- oh no eva's hope is gone bc jacks is gone 🥺

- can honestly say I didn't see kristof knightlinger potentially coming in as the hero we needed ~~nevermind he was useless~~

- omg not eva immediately wanting to make another deal with jacks to get her memories back girls got a pattern 💀

- when apollo doesn't even have to lie about some of the terrible things jacks has done 😑😑😑 listen ✋

- the valor's pretending to be the vale’s instead like no we are not giving up that V for victory ain't nobody gonna notice

- the story curse knows the truth! when it changed that book title to eva and “the prince of hearts” instead of “prince apollo” 😈😈

- *me chanting* “get this bitch a dragon roasted apple get this bitch a dragon roasted apple get this bitch a dragon roasted apple”

- not jacks rescuing eva from drowning again 🤤

- jacks: “it's best she doesn't remember me” also jacks “you can call me archer” 💀

- yessss eva with jacks’ dagger again name a more iconic duo

- apollo being all pissed that eva has jacks' dagger 🙄 grow up bro

- ApOlLo HaTeD aPpLeS shut up apollo nobody cares

- oh jacks, what are you trying to do and why won't eva forgive you for it 🫣

- the thing I love about eva is how at first she's all like “ooh I want the fairytale prince with heart eyes” but girl no you don't you want the morally grey baddie with the smoldering glare and death threats, just like the rest of us

- jacks really is bestie goals. he became immortal just so his wicked murdering bff wouldn't be alone, a true friend

- lmao jacks being like, “this is actually really inconvenient timing for you to kill me perhaps we could reschedule until I'm done saving your life?”

- *Ye Olde Brick Inn. Vacancy: One Bed* 😏

- this motherfucking letter goddamn it past evangeline ~~nevermind this letter is the greatest thing that's ever happened well-done past evangeline~~

- eva smacking the shit out of apollo and then pretending it was an accident is a cultural moment™️

- jacks pls stop calling her pet I'm begging you it's illegal 😭😭😭

- he fucking traded his WHAT!?

- apollo wanting to become immortal to fight jacks, embarrassing 🙄

- jacks sending threats to keep eva away like uhhh sorry jacks but your threatening messages are HOT???

- KISS KISS KISS

- wait why are there so many chapters left…

- apollo doesn't love anything more than himself so this motherfucking tree better unalive him 😡

- killed by a tree 😈 excellent

- the epilogue is just for eva asking about the apples girrrrl same

- omg a HEA 😭💖😍

- eva really delulu-ed her way into a hea. she girlbossed, gatekept, gaslighted her way around that curse, like fuck your magic rules and I really respect that of her

- are we getting a castor and lala spinoff??? or maybe a shocking, surprising, life changing book 4???? Idk things don't feel finished here…

#a curse for true love #acftl #acftl spoilers #jacks #jacks x evangeline #evajacks #jacks of the hollow #jacks prince of hearts #evangeline fox #ouabh #once upon a broken heart

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cornettotrilogies · 7 months

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i must've said this about a thousand times but my opinions on chassis wheatley are that yes, while the chassis probably had some influence on his actions and so did the withdrawal, neither things had TOTAL control over what he did. i think saying that he wasn't in control of his actions while he was in the chassis therefore he's innocent takes away a lot of nuance and complexity and just leaves that whole segment of the game bland.

ramble below the cut

we can infer from a lot of his dialogue that he feels resentment and a certain amount of distrust towards chell, for various things like not catching him when he fell off of his rail, or never saying a word, leaving him to feel like she was silently judging him since she never communicated whether or not she actually liked him.

chassis wheatley is angry and bitter from YEARS of being the underdog, of being just a tiny moron on a rail, always given the short end of the stick, and now that he's in total control he's just taking it out on everything that moves, because who's going to stop him? nobody has any power over him anymore, and he's desperate to hold onto it for as long as possible.

and yes, the chassis itself probably had something to do with that. whether it was removing his inhibitions, or making that pent-up anger feel just so much louder, or quite what, i'm not certain. but it didn't have EVERYTHING to do with what wheatley did while he was in control.

he's sort of like a kid who's used to always having his toys broken or his sandcastles pushed over, and the second he comes across smaller kids, he realizes he can break THEIR toys and push over THEIR sandcastles and just completely gets carried away with it. the bullied becomes the bully. the downtrodden underdog becomes the shit-hot antagonist.

and i like how that's shown ingame- glados gets bored of chell and plans to kill her. wheatley breaks her out early to save her life. wheatley dethrones glados. wheatley gets bored of chell and plans to kill her. he's repeating the cycle they were both stuck in, as some people who were stuck in a cycle tend to do, except now he's at the top of the food chain.

but i really do think that wheatley didn't intend to hurt chell when he hit the elevator. glados provoked him by calling him a moron, hitting him in a particularly nasty weak-spot, and instead of being forced to take it he realized he could fight back and it completely went to his head. he acted in the heat of the moment, and didn't realize what he'd done until that quiet little "uh oh." glados was his target. chell was just caught in the crossfire.

wheatley has always been sort of rash and impulsive, as shown by bashing the relaxation chamber into a wall instead of stopping and trying to read the text that says "500FT BELOW," deciding to plug himself into a panel so close to glados' chamber, et cetera. when you put someone naturally impulsive into a high-stress situation, they're obviously going to act first and think later, and i think that's probably what was going on with chassis wheatley. he's doing the first thing that pops into his head, which, as an intelligence dampening sphere is definitely not the best thing he could do then and there, and then only getting a chance to think about it later, hence how regretful he sounds in space.

anyway this was a really long-winded way of saying: i think people who say wheatley was completely innocent and not to blame because he was mind-controlled are weak and cannot accept the fact that their favorite characters can be morally grey. they can have flaws, and complexities, and parts of them that aren't wholly 100% good, and they can do the wrong thing. if you can't love wheatley at his worst then you can't claim to love him at his best

#[🪶]:#tx #portal 2 #wheatley #LONG fucking rant i'm so sorry but this has been bouncing around in my head forever #it probably barely even makes sense #we ball

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thistlecatfics · 1 year

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12 Fic Recs for 2022

In order of how recently I bookmarked them and very much non-exhaustive. (I’m in awe of everyone who has a coherent and systematic fic tracking system. I... do not.)

Lengths are all over the place, as are ships though Blackcest and wolfstar are highly represented.

Absinthe (and a candy apple) by Anonymous (Bellatrix/Andromeda, 6k, E)

December 1970.

One of them is getting ready for war.

One of them is preparing to leave her family behind.

Neither of them knows that this is their last Christmas holiday together.

Fucked up and delightful

Buy the Stars by wilteddaisy (taotu) (Sirius/Remus, 23k, E)

Sirius Black, respectable pureblood patriarch and heir to the Black family fortune, has a wife and three children at Hogwarts. Defence Against the Dark Arts professor Remus Lupin wrestles with the aging wolf inside of him. When Black offers him a hand, Remus reluctantly takes it.

Dubious morality and Slytherin Sirius Black in the best way!!! What a wonderfully toxic relationship.

under the blood moon by @iamsiriuslyriddikulus (WIP) (Sirius/Remus, 29k+, E)

A Wizarding War has been raging for several years with no end in sight. When Lily learns how to infuse Dark Magic into her music, Remus and Lily work together to take justice into their own hands.

Murder family bluegrass band AU!! Sirius is especially hot in this. Go subscribe!

White Sheets, in the Closet (or: the earth from a great distance is perfect and whole) by @tahtahfornow (Sirius/Remus, 12k, M)

The preacher’s boy is pale and strange. Silver scar running horizontal across the crooked bridge of his nose like a tributary catching winter sunlight. Dusty freckles collecting in the corners of his cheeks. And thick fair hair that on Sundays shines with pomade, slicked behind two apricot-slice ears: sweet flesh and flesh, always at attention.

(South Georgia, 1961-1962. Hurried kisses in hostile climates.)

So powerfully atmospheric.

Shades of Dawn by @corvuscrowned (Lavender/Ginny, 3k, E)

It happens once a month — the full moon fades in the black night sky, replaced with the pink light of dawn. Ginny’s Floo sparks — vibrant green, devoured by gold and amber light. And out spills Lavender Brown.

Angsty as hell and utterly divine.

Lit Match by Phantomato (Alecto/Lily, 2k, E)

Redheads should stick together.

Canon-compliant Lily/Alecto! Go read it!

Clip, Ravel, Cleave by @vdoshu (Bellatrix/Andromeda, 15k, E)

Before Andromeda met Ted, she was a Black, through and through. While years later the story was told that she’d turned her back on her family’s dark ways, in truth, nothing was so simple.

In the beginning, it was just Andromeda and Bella. And it was just the two of them until it was too much.

One of my all time favorites. Pinnacle of wonderfully fucked up Bellatrix/Andromeda.

57th Street On Fire by Suchsmallhands (Sirius/Remus, 31k, M)

It's the 90's and springtime in New York. Remus is dealing cocaine, Sirius is looking to get high.

He felt a twinge of paranoia. He thought, This is a junkie. One way or another. You don’t take walks with people you sell cocaine to. And he might be rich. Do not say yes.

He’d never seen grey eyes quite like that before.

Maybe my favorite Muggle AU of all time? It’s so New York in the 90s and also so wolfstar and so perfect and I just fell in love with Sirius right alongside Remus.

the grace unasked for by @leftsidedown (Remus/Tonks, 18k, T)

What if… instead of going to Bill's after the Malfoy Manor, Harry and co. flee to Tonks' parents' house, where Remus and Tonks are hiding with Andromeda?

How would Remus and the others react and handle this? Remember, Tonks is in her last trimester, her dad just died, she's still being hunted down by Bellatrix and everyone is in hiding, and suddenly Undesirable No 1 shows up with a tortured Hermione, former hostages and a dead house elf and his presence is now potentially threatening everyone's safety..

Read and be converted to Remadora.

wet gray gold-lit street by basketofnovas @slashmarks (Fleur/Tonks, 10k, E)

Fleur Delacour returns to Britain after the Triwizard Tournament to work for Gringotts and spy for the Order of the Phoenix. Then she falls in love with her Order contact.

It was hard to pick one slashmarks piece but I just loved how both trope-y and canon compliant (and canon defiant) this Flonks is.

Hurt Heals by @vdoshu (series) (Andromeda/Bellatrix, Narcissa/Hermione, Narcissa/Andromeda, 17k, E)

Pain. Grief. Sorrow.

Sometimes, to suffer is to heal.

I know I’m in awe of how blindingly hot this is because it was specifically written as a gift for me and mindful of my specific kinky tastes BUT also y’all should read it too.

Nor All That Glisters by sweet_s0rr0w (Draco/Harry, 110k, E)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot.

But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks.

Stop taking the Felix? You must be joking…

Felix Felicis addiction fic handled so perfectly. I adore the extremely imperfect Draco in this so much

#hp fic rec #thistlecat fic rec #wolfstar #wolfstar fic rec #blackcest #drarry fic rec

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wineworshipped · 4 days

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The Laughing God

His name is Dionysus. Liber, Bromius, Bacchus too, yes, but always Dionysus first and foremost. God of wine, fertility, excess, ecstasy, theatre, release, rebirth, madness, and the wild joys of total liberation. The original uninhibited god, born of mortal Semele and immortal Zeus, aegis-bearer, twice-born and full of mirth. The dithyramb is beat in his honor; maneads and bacchants dance in the wild wood for his pleasures. Such is the glory of great Dionysus, madcap lord of the midnight revels.

—Well. Such was the glory of Dionysus, lord of the torches. It’s Dio nowdays. Dio Theoinos among the mortal crowds, hot-shot producer/director and King of the Great White Way. (Dɪᴏɴysᴜs is awfully stiff and old-timey, don’t you think? Something a little catchier was in order for the new age.) Unseated from Olympus like the rest of his family when the new deities came into power, he’s done pretty well for himself since; he has a big media following, a handful of accidental cults, a few modern maneads—nothing spectacular, but certainly enough to get by on. A bit of prayer here and there, a few starving artists looking for a bit of luck, and bam!, he’s back in business. Maybe not running at full capacity, but not exactly putzing around on empty.

Dio is about what you’d expect of him; formerly a blinding force of joy and freedom, he still upholds the right to artistic expression and creativity…it just comes a little more tempered at his advanced age and decreased popularity. He is often surly and unamused, feeling usurped, and while quick to offense, he is equally quick to forgive. Dionysus is a fickle god at best. Sassy, snarky, witty, and sharp-tongued, Dio spends much of his time among the mortal rabble, and has picked up a few of their habits; but being immortal, he tries not to get too attached.

name: Dio(nysus), Bacchus, Bromius, Liber, Cisseus

alias: Dio Theoinos (usually)

pronouns: he/him (usually)

pantheon: Greek, Roman

familial status: Youngest of the Olympians (two uncles, one father, the Bitch, two aunts, two sisters, a sister-aunt-why are you trying to dissect ancient myth here?, two brothers—it’s actually quite a lot.)

age: Immortal

residence: New York City, New York; Los Angeles, California; Naxos, Greece; Olympus; wherever story demands

martial status: Widowed* Single

orientation: a bisexual disaster

face: Alan Cumming (Dio & most variants)

build: Svelt

height: 5’10” (sometimes up to 6′8″ For Dramatic Effect™️)

hair: Changes with the day. He prefers keeping dark hair or going “distinguished” grey.

eyes: Merlot. (It’s a wine thing.)

postive: philanthropic (…well, to a greater degree than the rest of his family), creative, artistic, loyal, individualistic, (relatively) open-minded, readily accepting, etc.

negative: arrogant, conceited, self-important, self-righteous, pompous, egotistical, narcissistic, fickle, non-committal…the list goes on.

*According to myth, Dionysus married the mortal woman Ariadne of Crete…but, unable to bear the grief of separation from her love, Theseus of Athens, she died. Or ascended to heaven. The story’s a little split on that one. Dio…doesn’t like thinking of himself as “widowed”.

myers-briggs

ENFP: The Campaigner.

extraverted, intuitive, feeling, prospecting, turbulent

Strengths: curious, observant, energetic & enthusiastic, excellent communicator, knows how to relax, very popular & friendly

Weaknesses: poor practical skills, difficulty focusing, overthinks things, gets stressed easily, highly emotional, independent to a fault

moral alignment

Chaotic Good: “The Rebel”

combines a good heart with a free spirit

#; sing o muse (character study)#; late in love and a little drunk (headcanon)#; a new religion (blog mythos)

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autisticcassandracain · 2 years

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A large part of why I don't care about the fact that DC seems to cautiosly be tipping their toes into making Talia a nuanced character again is bc her 'redemption' is focused almost entirely on her role as a mother when like. Being a bad mom was the least of the issues here.

Like the fundamental issue with Morrison's Talia characterization retcon was that they turned a character heavily based in the concept of love, who was willing to use violence when necessary but never enjoyed it and frequently felt incredibly conflicted about it, into a ruthless, morally depraved, near-emotionless monster. This was in service of making her a bad mother, yes, but that was a consequence of an entire character shift.

So to have a Talia 'redemption' focus on her role in relation to Damian and how bad of a mother she was and how she wants to atone for it while still keeping her a ruthless wanton murderer doesn't actually fix anything. They're addressing the symptoms rather than the core issue.

And it's easy to blame DC, and we should, but I also blame fans who latched onto #girlboss assassin Talia and think she's at her best when they can say how hot she looks covered in blood. Bc that's in no small part how we got fans telling DC we want good mom!Talia, but not good person!Talia.

For the record: Yes, pre-Morrison Talia killed people, and her moral system was far more grey than most superheroes'. But fundamentally, her character was about the conflict between violence and peace. Which is shown in her role, stuck between dual loyalties to her father (ruthless murder) and bruce (heroic non-lethality). This conflict was kept in place by a simple thing: love.

Talia's use of (lethal) violence was never uncomplicated, and certainly nothing like the cool killer we see today, even in her most sympathetic light. And frankly, I don't give a shit what kind of mother that killer is.

#My posts #Talia al ghul #Like yeah bad mom talia bad but also. That's ur biggest issue here????

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frostbite-yinny · 9 months

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To the mod; Is Yinny a good person or not? I'm getting mixed messeges

OOC; Oh, mixed messages are exactly what I want you to get XD short answer is;

Yes, but only on paper.

You see; Yinny takes her job very seriously. She is willing to lose sleep and work unbelievable hours if it means she is helping someone. She likes being useful. She believes in second changes to the point she has no problem becoming friends with evil team leaders. She adopts this many people so they have someone they can depend on. She is willing to open her house for them, cook for them, help them with whatever they need etc. Etc. She is generous. She is forgiving. She only feeds a raw diet to her pokemon and donates or gives away the monthly poke-chow her job gives to their employees. These are good traits, right?

BUT

She is addicted. She knows how it affects her health, how much her pokemon hate seeing her drink, how it affects the people around her yet refuses to stop. She is unwilling to get better. She smokes even though she hates the way it smells and drenches herself in perfume and mints to avoid it. She is a gambler and (even though I didn't really press on it until now) uses drugs.

She has intense jealous and obsessive tendencies, im not even talking about her stalking tendencies. Not just lovers but generally people around her, even her pokemon.

And her alcoholic tendencies effect people around her too. When something big happens to someone around her, her first course of action is to take them out drinking. That's the only way she knows how to help people. Which is obviously just harmful. She can be aggressive and hot headed.

And, her morals are questionable at best.

She is a very 'do what I say don't do what I do' kind of gal. It can be a little hypocrite of her, though.

She drinks alcohol almost religiously, it's the only way she knows how to deal with, well, everything. Yet doesn't let any of the kids even take a sip.

She smokes but hates when other people who smells like it.

She always tell people to love their looks, says she love how scars look on other people, yet spends hours covering her scars up. For example; the time when Bane expressed he was unconscious of his scars, her first course of action was to cover them up. Not being happy and in peace with his own body, she did reassure him but still went straight to treatments and make up.

Because that's how she feels about her own scars and assumes how he must feel too.

I'm rambling right now, so what I'm trying to say is;

Yinny tries to be a good person, but in the end, she is just an another self-destructive alcoholic doomed to end up alone.

I tried to have her a balance of good and bad traits. She is not simply black or white. I went for a grey.

I think it might even be a dark grey at this point XD

#Long post #pkmn irl #long post #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #irl pokemon #irl pkmn #pokémon irl #pokemon #real pokemon #pokemon in real life #unreality

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milos-journal · 2 years

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The Asher Family (TW: TribeTwelve)

Ok, long post, I'm gonna talk a lot. scroll on by or just skim for art if you do not care. Second, TribeTwelve post. TW for that. Lastly, I want to say that this post is a character analysis/my opinions on the Ssher family (Milo, Mary and Robert) so this kind of thing is gonna get gross in subject matter. TW for talks of abuse (specifically marital abuse and child abuse), cults (fictional), drugging, suicide, self harm, and a potential plethora of other topics. tread lightly.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, hello! This is just me babbling about underrated characters and giving hot takes that may cause debate or not, we'll see. It's also me showing off the designs I did for each of these bastards. VERY self indulgent, just something I wanted to make. If this post does well, I may do a post on Noah (or rather, the Noahs, plural) because I have a lot to say on him as well. I don't know how to cleverly segue this.

Milo Asher / Mr. Scars

I feel like it's important to start with Milo, half so that people can decide if I'm insane a quarter way through these paragraphs and either keep reading or scroll, and half because a lot of Mary and Robert's notes are going to elaborate on Milo since everything in TribeTwelve is tightly linked together.

From a writing perspective, Milo is one of, if not the character in TribeTwelve with the most depth. We get an almost whole life read on him and we see the trauma that made him the person he is and what lead to his suicide. However, what is interesting about the journal is the Noah notes, and moreso, how dismissive Noah is.

Something Adam does in his writing that I'm not a huge fan of is explain away all potential mental illness Milo and Noah certainly have and goes "It's from slenderman!! Collective influence!!" when a lot of it is much more nuanced. Milo at the least has PTSD and anxiety, and that's the least. Given the childhood trauma of being thrown into cults as a worshipped being, or given the drugging, or being beat as a kid and watching his mother get beat, he definitely has something wrong, whether or not it wants to be admitted.

Milo being "completely fine" despite overdosing on anti depressants and consistently shown with fresh SH scars feels like this weird glorification of mental illness.

But with that amount of trauma and horrific occurrences, something that is not exemplified enough, is Milo never fully heals from this trauma. He instead internalizes it (which, within his scenario, is his only choice) with no outlet, which makes his moral compass towards the end of Milo's Journal very interesting to say the least.

Milo Asher is absolutely a morally grey character. However, being from Noah's perspective the whole story (to the point where all the Milo centric content is literally annotated by Noah with his own thoughts on the matter) he is a consistently praised character. A lot of the story parades that Milo has done no wrong, simply because he's troubled and traumatized and Noah holds him dear. However, I feel like the entries "Mockingbird" and "Institute" are perfect examples of how unhealed trauma manifests unhealthily.

While many may argue Mary deserved every bit of what happened to her, which, in some ways she did, I think the best way to see everything is to pretend Noah Maxwell isn't there. Which sounds weird, but try to read everything wholly unbiased. In Institute especially it feels almost dirty the way its written, all of Milo's words are covered in this grime he has no guilt for. Did Mary deserve it? Yes, kinda, we get more into Mary later. Is it alarming how Milo had no regard for his or her safety, ruined a marriage, grinned as his mother got hit and swore at by his step father, and then beat the shit out of her and went "Well, she deserved it, so.."? Absolutely, it's very alarming. And, because of the fact everything is from Noah's perspective, not only canon but Tribetwelve's active fanbase puts Milo on this weird pedestal of martyr, how he can do virtually no wrong. I don't know, I'd love to see more of Milo Asher in this grim light, but not exactly demonized. But, this talk of moral greyness and unpacked trauma brings me to my next topic.

Milo's Journal almost entirely focusses on the topic of generational trauma in the Slenderverse, which I find very interesting. Within Slenderverse, there are a couple occurrences of protagonists wanting or even having kids, but often something happens that blocks them from having kids or something happens to said kid. However, Milo's Journal explores this concept of what would happen to a kid being haunted by Slenderman with a parent of the same affliction. It makes me wonder what a fully fledged Milo who ended up with a partner and kids would've been like. With none of that trauma unpacked and all choked down, would he end up just like Mary? Somehow better or worse? With the amount of trauma brought onto Mary (more on that later) that trickles onto Milo, it makes some very interesting writing.

Really quick I want to talk about Mr. Scars, just as a character, and how much wasted potential he is. I genuinely wish he had one of two routes, he either was a full and complete villain, creating this psychological horror by being haunted of a lost loved one who literally wants you dead, or for him to be a villain for Mary when she was younger. The villain for Mary route is interesting because it explains why she so desperately wanted to know who Mr. Scars is while also keeping up this theme of generational trauma. I feel like so much potential for both Mr. Scars and Milo is completely unused, and honestly, same goes for the rest of the Ashers.

Do what you will with my thoughts, have the design I did for Milo. I think I didn't do half bad. Tumblr MURDERED my quality, hopefully clicking on it will do it better.

I did not plan on writing this much, so I'm gonna put a cut here. If you're curious about Mary and Robert, that'll be under it.

Mary Asher/Cursor

Alright, this is deep shit now, and mostly speculation. Most of my writing from here on out will be VERY reliant on some of the old Milo's Journal and Sebastian's Journal leaks. You can find those here. (Yes, it's a download. It's a PDF file.) You don't need to read them to enjoy this post, but it's good for if you want a source on a lot of my opinions on Mary and Robert.

Actually into the bullshit now, I want to start by saying I do not think ANYTHING Mary did was okay, and almost everything she did was volatile and inexcusable. Holy fucking shit she's an underrated villain. And so many people brush her off and go "She was mean to Milo, she's the worst!" in the same breath as sucking HABITs toes, so I feel like it's only fair to give her a chance.

She, unlike a lot of the villains in TribeTwelve, has motive. From what we know about the journal Mary kept herself, she went through some TOUGH shit. A lot of her actions can be seen as preventative measures in her mind, a lot of it probably felt like simple protection to her. This does not make her actions valid, of course, but she probably was going through logical steps in her mind, especially since at the same time she was manipulated by a cult.

Need to sacrifice someone and the cult demands it? Have a kid! Kid's experiencing inexplicable paranormal activity that aligns with a cult messiah? He must be special, take him to meetings. Kid exhibiting disturbing behavior she had when she was a kid and at the same time the cult conveniently has pills to help it? It's natural, Milo needed to be protected.

My point is, a lot of her logic is there, even it doesn't track to most. And of course just because there's logic doesn't make it right, I just wish people thought on Mary more. Saw her as more of an interesting villain, y'know? Thought of her with more dimension past cruel and abusive.

I also forget to note, just putting it as a one off note, she was abused by pretty much all of her partners in some way with exception of Robert and John, or what we know of them. It doesn't connect to anything, just wanted to say it before I call it quits on the rant yada yada here's Mary. Quality got eaten.

Robert Asher / Scriniarii

I love Robert Asher as a character despite the fact we know NOTHING about him, and the fact we don't is a literal crime because what we know is so intriguing.

First, we know that Scriniarii is in his archival position without want, when he joins the TribeTwelve discord and nobody is helping him he exclaims "LOOK I DONT WANT TO DO THIS FUCKING JOB. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS SHIT!" So, Firebrand or someone else forced him into this position. This doesn't help that he mentions he'll be "punished" by Firebrand for talking out of term. Here's the screenshot in question.

Second, we have no idea if Scriniarii is just a pen name or Robert ascended. Whether or not he is a collective member is very ambiguous. It's heavily implied he's ascended and outside the loop but still he could be some guy also.

Third, we know Robert is in the Order. In a screenshot I sadly do not have, he talks about how the order took his family and ruined his life. It is further confirmed in Wizards, when it says "I asked mommy why we have to go to two churches now and she says it’s to get closer to Daddy and closer to God."

All of this information together is so interesting. Did him and Mary meet through the order? (Update, apologies on misinfo for that question in specific, we have canon confirmation they did not and met beforehand) If so, was he on board with the child sacrifice? What about his command under Firebrand, how is he "punished" and how much control does Firebrand have over him? For those who were not part of the TTD while it was running and really wanna know more, The SCRINIARII Code is super useful for a good summary. I swear I had a good archive of the discord screenshots but apparently I don't, so thats the best you get.

Congrats! You got so far into the bullshit you get the final piece of art. Quality looks like he got chewed up and spat out.

That should be it for now. Again, if this post does really well and/or if people are interested, I will TOTALLY make more. Do what you will with my takes, write weird fanfic, call me dogshit, I don't care. Thanks for even reading this far. It means a lot.

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hannigramislife · 1 year

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First of, I would like to tell my dear friend @mattmurrock that I personally blame them for my descend into madness, because I was fine without watching Vincenzo, and my deteriorating mental health is their fault ❤️

Now, I need to get some things off my chest about this show, because I am getting tired of seeing these weird as fuck takes on tumblr and tiktok and twt, like, are y'all asleep???

Idc if the entire fandom comes after me, I will fight each and every single one of you.

Hot take number 1: Han Seo's writing was atrocious in general, but him becoming this lighthearted little brother figure to Vincenzo in the second part, practically glowing, becoming a "better person" and all that, is a disservice at its finest. Han Seo's "real self" isn't him projecting his inner child trauma onto Vincenzo; this man had a person throw up blood on him and he wanted to call an ambulance for himself, like come on. He deserved to be morally grey, and I'm done with this fandom infantilizing him.

Hot take number 2: Cha Young and Vincenzo's love subplot was hilarious, there was not a drop of chemistry between them, Cha Young looked like she wouldn't spare Vincenzo a second glance during the entire show 😭 This is a personal subjective opinion, so I'm fine with people disagreeing with me on this one.

Hot take number 3: Jang Han Seok was smarter, stronger, and a better strategist than Vincenzo Cassano, on every level. He was more connected, more brutal, made moves more similar to the Mafia than Vincenzo himself did, and the only reason he lost, consistently, is because the plot was centered on Vincenzo, and gave him the wins. If this show was evenly written, Han Seok would have won within the first five episodes. Him begging Vincenzo to let him live was also our of character for the guy who stared Vincenzo dead in the eye and told him to shoot. Running away while he had a hockey stick at hand, Cha Young injured, bodyguards at the door and Vincenzo unarmed is also out of character.

Hot take number 4: Vincenzo Cassano, who might I add, doesn't have a drop of Italian upbringing in him, is a romantic lead, and he should get the credit for that only. Vincenzo, as a show, is a dark romcom, and I use the term dark loosely. I have seen many act like he is the end all be all kdrama lead, as though his character is a perfectly written depiction of the anti-hero, scumbag who takes care of worse scumbags, morally ambiguous, flawed-but-not-really main character. And that's laughable. He has walked straight out of Wattpad.

Conclusion to my thoughts and ranting: Han Seo deserved his own storyline, and to not be treated as a prop for Vincenzo. Cha Young was a better lead than Vincenzo by miles, and she shouldn't have been taken out of commission in the showdown. Han Seok was able to win in the finale. If they wanted me to believe he lost, they should have written it better. Vincenzo as a show has a 7/10 rating at its highest, while Vincenzo as a character is 5/10 at best, 6/10 if you take my bias against him away. Enjoying such shows is fine, I had a blast watching this thing, but I am tired of people pretending this show has quality. It has good points, like cinematography and cast, but its writing, characters, and plot is weak.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, yes I will take comments and criticism, and if people want to debate me, I will show them they are ✨️wrong✨️

#vincenzo #vincenzo kdrama #kdramadaily #song joong ki #jang han seok #ok taecyeon #hong cha young #jeon yeo been #jang han seo #kwak dong yeon #kdrama thriller #kdrama recommendations

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vanhelsingapologist · 9 months

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LMAO I am currently in ACOTAR hell. As in, I read all the books and so on (halfway done with the last). I am weirdly invested, drawing fanart and ranting about it. I dragged like 2 more people down with me because I won't suffer this alone, like it's book covid or something.

I can't say it is good. I can't recommend it. And yes, the first (and 5th) are the only ones where I had some positive enjoyment.

The first....I mean you're right - the start is so slow and unless you super vibe with the Tamlin-Lucien-Feyre dynamic there is not much there at all. The last third was fun tho for sure. Iono, it was like a 3/5 for me. Nothing special, nothing terrible. It was....fine.

BUT OH BOI THE REST. Everyone claims the second book is the best of the series and since I didn't outright hate the first, I picked it up with cautious excitement. THE BETRAYAL. I was so mad. I never hate-read anything so HARD. I was pissed at the shit this book pulled lol. I felt like the author was gaslighting me. Or tried to - and it only made me angrier. But I couldn't stop either. And it went on with the third. I just felt so weird, like I was reading different books than anyone else? Yet I had to go on because it kind of felt like some weird office drama that was clearly not meant for me but I am invested now.

So yeah, uhm, I'm stuck in the corner with all the hated characters having a weird party idk. Help!!

I don't mind a slow start! I even love a slow start, but I feel that 200 pages of that book should not exist. The world-building didn't justify a book that long. I really feel like the love interest could've been compelling but he was so overshadowed by literally every other character, which was bad because most of those characters were just not my cup of tea.

I liked Lucien! I think he and Feyre had weird, red-hot tension and my friend made the joke that it was like "someone had told Maas that Lucien and Feyre got on too well, so she went 'fuck, fuck' and started writing him out."

I also thought Rhysand was incredibly creepy, and it was so obvious what they were setting him up for. I had a deep, fundamental problem with his seemingly 'morally grey' characterization when I think 'morally deficient' would've been more believable to commit to. Personally, I think the justifications he offered for certain actions were shoddy, which is disappointing because I don't think he's supposed to be a villain. But he'd make such an interesting one! I love villains and I think if the book had just committed and made him villainous then I could've really been down for some apologism. I'm almost angrier that they won't admit that he'd fucked up and instead went "well, it's justifiable and it was even KIND of him."

All that being said, I really appreciate your perspective. I think the end of the book was so much fun too, and I feel so sad that I just spent half the book wondering how the hell it was going down. I'll hit you back up once I've read the second.

#asked and answered #also we're taking recommendations for our YA/new adult bookclub!#we read red queen: an embarrassing 4/5. we had such fun.#we're reading fourth wing rn.#acotar: 2/5 #love hypothesis: 2/5 but really it should be lower

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dylan-rodrigues · 2 months

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A lot of people have said it much better, but yes, all of these people have gone from "morally dubious" at best to absolutely horrible.

Ah-jung? She turned down being a beard for a gay man in an extremely homophobic and rightwing society. Which is fair and valid, because any passing chaebol pyscho could crush her broke ass like a bug. and yet, she chooses to be Do-han's fake wife, not because it's life and death for him, but to spite his evil goblin little brother.

Ji-han? A parasitic capitalist scum who uses and tosses away poor people just to appease his corporation and his even more soulless grandpa. That's bad, sure, but he also seeks to impose his vision of success and security onto his brother, when Do-han has made it clear how unhappy being the CEO would make him - he cares as little about Do-han's happiness as the rest of his psycho family. And that's a charitable interpretation... it's also likely Ji-han is unconsciously doing this so he can vicariously be the CEO through Do-han. And this isn't even touching all the ways he keeps screwing over Ah-jung but it's OK cause he's a hot kdrama chaebol ML.

Do-han? he's not as bad as the other two in this drama but using your broke ass, lower-middle class friend to save yourself when you can't really protect her when all the chaebol intrigue goes sideways... like come on, man. i also did not like how he treated his former boyfriend when the latter got assaulted, but it's not my place to say anything about that aspects of his characterization.

and these are just the main characters, y'all. the only somewhat wholesome ppl in this drama are Ah-jung's parents and those random farmers. that being said, I am enjoying this drama and will be watching it to the very end. if you want a positive spin on it, i guess u can say that there are very morally grey characters, which makes it more realistic?

#wedding impossible #kdrama #moon sang min #jeon jong seo

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gladiator-gladiolus · 1 year

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My prejudgement of the engage cast: Solm edition

Like I said before, this is as of before I venture into chapter 4 this time, so obviously I don’t actually know ANYTHING about anyone except what I’ve accidentally absorbed through fanart. This is all purely based on their appearance and the vibe. I’ll reblog with what I actually think of them after I’ve finished the game, or have sufficient enough exposure to them

(^_−)−☆

(These are probably really harsh, I have unleashed my full prejudice)

Fogado

Sylvain and Yuri’s personality love child

manwhore (but respectfully)

Looks like he has committed numerous war crimes and does so with an irresistible smile, 10/10 would do again, 5 star review on yelp

Knows how to emotionally manipulate you

Can dance really well but won’t tell anyone

a very good leader

Charismatic as FUCK

knows his people well and they love him

has a fanclub

Is known to prank people

sexy and he knows it

I’ll either be in love with him and won’t admit it or I’ll be completely immune

Pandreo

What is going on with his hair???????

ngl im kinda into it though

Has “goes to the same hairdresser as Lorenz” syndrome

Really mean but everyone is into it

Gay but is almost homophobic about it

would kick a child and call it character building

Has another male character he is shipped with religiously

the red flag everyone ignores

obnoxious pretentious little meow meow

I’m going to absolutely adore him

pretends he knows everything but actually dropped out of school at the age of 9 months

Bunet

Chivalry isn’t dead personified

excuse me hi, yes, my name is micromanagement supreme

Probably a Nationalist

Comes across as a jock at first but is actually extremely skrunkly dunkly

His work is his life

would rather the world be shaped into a cone and everyone slide off the face then see his friends hurt

Would rather be dead than not feel useful

In a modern Au would be obsessed with guns and holding dead animals

his parents are silly :(

is trying to further his reputation for 60% of the game

accidentally adopts one of the younger characters

is actually a bit of a nobody

Timerra

If you sucked every inch of optimism out of the world and concentrated it in one place, this is what would grow legs and emerge

Social butterfly

Comes across very confident but is actually really insecure

Is an only child

Tends to avoid reality

Shockingly the most religious out of all Solm characters

either extremely childish or overly mature with responsibility issues and there’s no in between

Kins Pinkie pie

Merrin

Wears winter clothes in the height of summer and visa versa

Tell him to bring a coat and he won’t then will blame you when he gets cold

is probably a girl that I mistook for a boy

Wants you to think he shops at hot topic but can actually be seen buying neon vests in the rave shop

Goth but the heart’s not in it

“I dOnT nEEd fRieNds, tHeY diSaPoiNT mE”

Quiet and reserved

Takes a long time to think about things but when he gets back to you on that, it’s going to be the best idea you’ve had the pleasure of hearing

Has a strong sense of self worth

was abused by his dad

Seadall

no, Navarre isn’t my twin brother why would you say that?

while you were busy buying body pillows, he studied the blade

Is a martial arts genius

If you’re not talking about combat, get lost

One of the most morally grey people you’ll meet

Is a sword for higher but would probably do it for free if you said please

noble gone bankrupt

Has a cruel master he has weird sexual tension with

the one Merrin looks up to

Man of no words

a woman I’m mistaking for a man

Panette

I saved the worst for last

not the clown but the whole circus

the quiet kid (trademark)

edgelord

who am I kidding, I’m just jealous because she’s way cooler than me, I’m going to end up loving her to bits

Super slay makeup so is super slay in all aspects of life

doesn't take life too seriously

just go with the flow

Likes causing people pain

favourite film is probably final destination

likes the smell of dead bodies

in reality cares about the well-being of others too much

doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her

the most mentally stable in the entire game

has a weird obsession with marionettes

Solm will most likely be my favourite but right now I’m in denial

#Solm #fire emblem engage #fe engage #panette #bunet #pandreo #fogado #merrin #seadall #timerra #Long post #unsolicited slating

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bookaddict24-7 · 5 months

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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229. Nectar of the Wicked by Ella Fields--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was me when I finished NECTAR OF THE WICKED and realized how in love I was.

Trust me, when I went into Fields's book, I was never expecting it to hit me in this way. I was aching for a dark fantasy that would capture me and hold me tight until it was time for me to let go. I was hoping for some cute moments and maybe some decent smut.

Yeah, I definitely got that and way more.

NECTAR OF THE WICKED is a dark fantasy romance with some intense smut scenes and a morally grey love interest. We have surprise identity reveals and a hunt for the truth. We get bickering and an intense enemies to wary lovers that leaves us on a tantalizing cliffhanger, our brains trying to decipher the truth from the lies and the idea that sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

This poor MC goes on a journey full of anger, hatred, and a twisted sense of love.

I loved every moment of it and immediately bought a physical copy (thank you, KU, for existing.)

Read this if you want a love interest you love to hate and an MC who bites off more than she can chew.

Come for the smut and anger; stay for the character development and that sequel that comes out at the end of the year!

Also, I will say this put me in a mini-slump for audiobooks because I wanted to do nothing but keep reading off my Kindle. That is all.

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230. Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read November 2023

Yes! I am finally at the last book I read back in 2012, everything from here on is something fresh and new. Also, I'm happy to have finally come across one of the characters I was thinking about when I first started my re-read.

I liked this one because we got to see a new side of Sookie, including some revelations as to why she is so appealing to so many supes. She's also badass in this with her tiger sidekick. Also, I've totally been spoiled for who she ends up with and some of the events in this book intrigued me because we're still so far from that final decision.

Also, glad that we finally see the end of one arc that started with a really annoying character--even though I could wholly sympathize with the family.

Onto the next one!

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231. Ignite by Melanie Harlow--⭐️⭐️⭐️

IGNITE had some of my all-time favourite tropes:

✓ single parent ✓ age gap ✓ adorable kids ✓ sassy best friend/siblings

I loved all of the above, especially when the MMC underestimates the FMC because of her age. They also had some great spicy moments full of chemistry and wit. I loved that we got to see the FMC through the MMC's perspective because she seems a lot more carefree and daring when we don't have her internal thoughts questioning and under-estimating herself. It was hot and I was 100% here for it.

The daughters were hilarious and such a great addition to story. It's always sad when single parent romances don't have kids who showcase their own little personalities. There's so much opportunity there and Harlow definitely did her best to showcase this in IGNITE!

This is clearly a part of a longer series, which I have not read, and I can only imagine how long and extensive the stories are. I saw how woven into this story those backstories are, including that of the FMC's dad's similar romance story with her stepmom.

What I wasn't a huge fan of is how...instant the romance felt. One of my favourite single parent romances, MEET ME HALFWAY, is one of those single parent books that will forever set a standard for me. I love when couples take time to get to know each other and build that foundation. When the third act break-up happens, which is usually the case, sadly, I want to BELIEVE that there is enough of a reason for the FMC or the MMC to fight for that love they supposedly built up over the weeks. Why should I root for you two if you've only know each other for a short time? I know love grows in different ways, but that's always been my problem with insta-romance books. Especially when the MMC is so adamant on being single forever. It's gotta take more than a pretty neighbour being cute and adorable to break that ice, right?

And going off that, the lack of communication and self-sacrificing is always the bucket of cold water I never ask for when it comes to books like this one. It ruins the mood and sours a chunk of the book, tbh. I understand they're both jaded af, but the age difference is a lot smaller that it appears when they both are acting like children.

Anyway, I loved the tropes and the story overall, but those last few reasons are why I didn't rate this higher and why I didn't race out to buy the physical copy. I enjoyed myself for the most part, but I've read better. I do still recommend this, though, for fans of the tropes I mentioned earlier! Those sweet little girls give this book so much personality and I just want the world for them!

___

232. Egotistical Puckboy by Eden Finley & Saxon James--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Sometimes I crave a really good hockey romance to take my mind off the world around me--or, to just be my gateway to spiralling into the deep, dark hole of romance that I usually fall into at least once a year. The moment October ended, I was immediately starting to crave something a lot lighter than the horror I'd been reading since late August.

EGOTISTICAL PUCKBOY scratched that itch I was getting and then some. First, I LOVE the trope of these two men absolutely hating each other, but secretly pining for one another. I am also a massive fan of the man who is relationshipphobic who is tamed by the one guy they never expected to like them or want them back. Add in hockey, hot smut, dirty talk, and a delicious tension and you've got a formula for something really, really fun and addicting.

The two MCs were different, but at the same time, they both dealt with similar hurdles to overcome. I loved that through time and proximity, they slowly started to figure each other out and not only survive as teammates, but also as something more. They helped each other out and grew together. There's something so enjoyable about two men just growing together and accepting that they're both worthy of love.

Eden Finley and Saxon James are two of the best when it comes to writing m/m hockey romances and whenever I see one of their books, I immediately fall in. This did not disappoint. And even though it wasn't my most favourite of their books, it was definitely a binge-able read.

___

233. Irresponsible Puckboy by Eden Finley & Saxon James--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

I ran straight to this book after reading the first in the series because I knew who this one would follow and I am the biggest, biggest sucker for books that feature a man so far in the closet that he doesn't know which way is out. I also love a man who is the biggest and most lovable himbo. We get this in IRRESPONSIBLE PUCKBOY. Plus, we also get a great friendship and so much angst and a quiet love that grows and grows as the story progresses.

I loved how these two characters took care of each other and how, despite the impending heartbreak, they couldn't leave each others' sides. I liked that this one touched on stereotypes and the messy side of having such a public romance--especially a non-hetero one.

Much like with the first book, I couldn't put this one down and I was smiling so much at how silly the one character was. Bless his heart.

___

234. Generation One by Pittacus Lore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in November 2023:

I went into this one with expectations because even though I remembered basically nothing about this book, I had this clear idea of what was going to happen. While it was definitely an adventure, it's wasn't as "whoa" as I remember it being. I just finished the original series, so naturally, I wanted to jump right into this one.

There was definitely some action and some very X-men type of powers. I enjoyed learning about the different abilities and how the world was being affected after the war. I just didn't feel that sense of urgency that I first felt with this series. I didn't have a "wow this is cool" moment.

It was weird not reading through the perspective of Four, but I also know that this new generation will have many adventures up ahead. While I did enjoy this for the most part, it didn't hold that same charm from the original series (for me) and I might postpone listening to the next book. We shall see!

I only took one start off to honour my initial review years ago.

___

235. Still Beating by Jennifer Hartmann--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I came across this book by chance at work and was immediately intrigued. Even though I did have that initial interest, I wasn't 100% sure how I would like STILL BEATING, considering how dark it was promising to be. Well, after binge reading the hell out of it, I can safely say that I loved it.

Years ago, I read a book called THE AIR HE BREATHES and while it dealt with vastly different themes, the level of emotional distress I felt while reading that book is the only one I think could be comparable to my experience reading STILL BEATING. Both books dealt with dark and taboo topics, and the guilt that comes from taking and accepting the only remedy for a destroyed heart.

One of the things I loved most about this book was how honest the characters were with each other when it came to finally coming to terms with what they needed to heal themselves. This isn't a cutesy read where the happy ending is straight forward--it's a book with characters who get a hard-fought-for HEA that carries a massive asterisk because even though they've survived, that PTSD and experience will always live with them.

I was recommending STILL BEATING to a coworker and I had to explain the massive trigger warnings for r@pe, because it IS something that happens. They are abducted by a monster who does horrifying things to the FMC. Though the scenes usually fade to black, or are alluded to, this can be incredibly triggering--so please, proceed with caution. There is no glorification of the attack. There is no glorification of the monster.

STILL BEATING is messy, dark, and frankly, terrifying with how surviving the nearly-impossible can still haunt you. As the characters often comment: you might have left the basement physically, but the basement will always be in your mind. While the taboo topic of this being a love story between the FMC and her sister's fiance is one of the big themes, it was their resilience, and their fight to survive that held my interest and love.

This isn't a book that will be begging a re-read any time soon, but it was definitely incredibly memorable. I look forward to reading another book by Hartmann in the future.

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236. Boys in the Valley by Philip Fracassi--⭐️⭐️⭐️

In the defence of this book, I read this after my craving for horror books had already passed. But that's the only defence I'll give BOYS IN THE VALLEY.

I went into this expecting something terrifying and don't get me wrong, there were definitely some super creepy moments, but while I can objectively see why this book is so popular, I don't fully 100% understand. First, I didn't realize it would be so religious-based. While I do believe in certain things, I'm not exactly the biggest fan of books the spout religious content at me. Although, in retrospect, that could very well be one of the themes meant to incite horror in the reader.

While I enjoyed this for what it was, it was kind of just meh? I think I zoned out a few times while listening to the audiobook and I was just not very connected. I will, again, admit that me not being in the mood for this genre most definitely affected my interest. But having that argument, I wonder if this book had been more compelling, would I have liked it more?

You might like this if you're a fan of things that go bump in the night (and proceed to kill you in said night), and if you're cool with religious horror.

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Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

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senzanomeor · 2 years

Text

Thoughts on House of the Dragon and Daemyra; spoilers ahead

Sooo I definitely think Daemon originally wanted Rhaenyra for the throne. I think he still wants her for the throne. He’s a Targaryen, the need to rule is in their blood, but... okay, here me out.

I also think he wants her, regardless of throne, and I don’t think he expected that. Neither of that. I don’t think he expected to want her and I don’t think he expected to want her without a throne. He realised he would want her even if she wasn’t an heir and it’s one thing to simply want her, but another thing completely to want her bare, crownless, whole. In his head, this is far worse I think; to want her just because of her alone. Because lust is familiar to Daemon, lust is safe, he can live with that, but I don’t think he ever wanted someone for them alone and that stumps him.

I’m not saying he loves her, far from that. Rhaenyra is still too young in ways of the world for him to love her romantically, but she is his niece. He does love her as an uncle and he does care, I think that much we can all agree on. However, I think this is where real problems for him lie. He found himself sexually wanting someone that he genuinely cares for and that’s why he’s such a hot mess. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s always a hot mess, the man’s as chaotic as they come, but I don’t think he’s as impulsive and thoughtless as everyone makes him out to be. He is, for sure, but that man spends more time scheming and planning than people do sleeping. He planned to seduce Rhaenyra, to have them marry, to sit on the throne together, to pop out little Targaryen babies. I really do think it was that simple in his head. Hard to achieve but if it’s achievable, it’s good enough for Daemon. And this is where Rhaenyra fucked it up for him.

I don’t think he expected her to want him back like that. I don’t think he expected her to want him enough to take control and go after him. He expected her to comply because he’s familiar, because he wouldn’t hurt her, because he’s on her side, because he’s her best choice, because, eventually, she loves him as an uncle. Not because she genuinely wants him. And Rhaenyra isn’t afraid to challenge him, to bite, to call him out on his bullshit. And that makes him feral, especially now that he’s accepted the fact he wants her because, yes, she’s the throne, but she’s also Rhaenyra. He miscalculated and now she’s taunting him and you know, good for her.

So like, the point I’m trying to make is; I think Daemon went after her for throne, realised he also wants her without a throne, had a minor crisis about it, and is now a mess because she was means to an end before, but now she’s the end in on itself. She’s his “buy one, get one for free” and Daemon’s not dumb, he’s greedy.

Also, I have to mention, I don’t condone incest, but these are Targaryens we’re talking about here and Matt Smith is hot with Legolas hair so my morals are taking a vacation. And another thing, I love Daemon, morally grey characters have always been my favourite, but Ser Harwin Strong... that scene at the end of episode 5... my word. While Daemon disappeared in the whole mess, as he always does (the fucker), and left Rhaenyra alone, Ser Harwin Strong went through those men. That inhale and first push he did had me on my knees.

Rhaenyra, my girl, I approve.

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iseethatimicy · 9 months

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your ocs are shit, azul will never love you they're trash

I suppose this will make Azul love my yuusona, yes? /sarc /hj

★ ── "𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐒!"

♡ Name: Iris Sirius ♡ Nickname: Iris, Roi des Diamantés (Rook), Glorified sea rock (Floyd & Shimiko), The Villainous Tyrant, The Prince of the Stars (Title) ♡ Birthday: September 11th ♡ Age: 18 ♡ Height: 167 cm ♡ Dominant Hand: Right ♡ Homeland: Land of the Stars ♡ Family: Astrava Sirius (Mother), ???? Sirius (Father, deceased)

★ Year: 3rd ★ Class: 3-B (Seat No. 29) ★ Club: Board Games Club ★ Best Subject: Astronomy ★ Hobbies: Playing chess ★ Pet Peeves: Not getting his way ★ Favorite Food: Pomegranate tarts ★ Least Favorite Food: Blackberry Teacakes ★ Talent: Astronomy

★ 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

PICREW/NEKA LINK ── SD Sprite | Headshot

Iris is a short young man with a fair complexion. He has Rosy-pink eyes with black diamond-shaped pupils, pale skin and short, curly two-toned black and pink hair, with black on the right side and pink on the left side respectively. He has a Hot pink ribbon resting at the left side of his head, which has a small light-pink heart pendant in the middle. He wears hot-pink diamond-shaped earrings, dark eyeshadow and acrylic nails with white tips.

He wears the standard Night Raven College Uniform; Dark grey pants with a golden vertical line at the side, a white silky blouse with frilly cuffs and a dark purple vest with golden buttons. His pants are held up by a black belt with a gold buckle and he doesn't wear his blazer. Instead of loafers, he wears dark red pumps. He hangs his pen behind his vest.

His diamond gemstone is located on his forehead, being a hot-pink color.

◆ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

Iris is a Haughty and Flamboyant individual, growing up pampered with luxurious food and dirty wealth. He has a short temper that would lead to destructive tantrums. He as the Prince of the Stars has little regard for genuine morals and the starving peasants in his Home Kingdom. Despite his hostile personality, She expresses fondness for nature and sea life. Underneath the rough exterior, Iris never means to be fully antagonistic or be a real antagonist, but he sometimes forgets how to really treat him peers. He is known for having a soft and kind side towards his romantic lover and wishes to shower them with wealth and riches.

♥ 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀

His female counterpart is Icy Sirius.

He is bisexual.

Sometimes he would wear a flashy white furry shawl, but would be told off by the teacher to take it off.

♡ last updated: 8/18/2023

♡ I do not consent for my work to be plagiarized, copied, or fed into any AI software. If you would like to make a similar idea, please credit @iseethatimicy.

#Iris Sirius (My Oc)#offtopicwithicy #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twst yuu #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuusona #twisted wonderland yuusona #felt rather petty today oopsie

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