#like the whole reason he said that was to convey that maybe they wouldn't have gotten together under different circumstances

[hotdrinks]

I keep seeing posts about Jon saying he and Martin wouldn't love each other in another universe but I'm pretty sure it was Martin who said all that?? Kind of?

Irrc Jon said he often imagines what things would have been like if they met and been together without all the institute stuff and Martin says "me too but we wouldn't have, would we?" And goes on his whole spiel about how Jon hated him at first and the horrors changed them both so much it made them compatible, to which Jon doesn't seem to entirely agree. And that convo wasn't really about other universes it was about Jon's daydreams. I'm not trying to be a pedant rn I just keep seeing references to this conversation and I remember it happening a very different way.

#drinks talk tag #tma #im worried this post is coming across as bitchy #im not trying to dunk on anyone im genuinely just wondering #i just remember a lot of ppl being really mad at martin when that episode aired lol #actually im back in my tags to elaborate that conversation wasnt even about jons daydreams #it was about martin trying to convince jon to save himself #like the whole reason he said that was to convey that maybe they wouldn't have gotten together under different circumstances #but they are together and he wants a chance for them to enjoy that

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-Boyfriend John Price MiniFic

Thinking of your ex-boyfriend John Price seeing you again for the first time after a nasty break-up that essentially didn't go as planned by him.

You knew what you were getting into when entering a relationship with a man who was a workaholic. You knew it was always a priority but you never thought that it had to be an ultimatum between you and that, clearly you were an idiot to think you were more important.

If only you hadn't asked his friend, why was he prolonging his time with you if his decision was set to end it with you when he got the promotion? What exactly would change in that short amount of time?

That night ended in screams, no matter how much John tried to tell you he loves you, it fell on deaf ears. "Actions speak louder than words" was always the saying and you know what? That applies to this, it applies to everything he's ever made you felt and the lack of exchange.

You tried so hardly to not discredit the past, but maybe he just used you. He only tolerated your love like it's a minor convenience for him, you were already there, it's not like he could be picky on who chooses to take care of him.

But who cares right? That was three years ago and you two live separate lives now. John was out there doing god knows what with his colleagues drinking his nights away as he took another woman in bed every night in hopes to drown you out his mind.

If it wasn't for his friend's influence that one drunken night, John wouldn't have said yes to attending a black-tie event. Wasn't ever his thing really, fancy settings with stuffy clothes.

He tried to fit in as far as he could, pretending to stare at whatever painting or sculpture he can spot when in reality no thoughts or feelings except one thing.

He was never one to appreciate or understand what most art try to convey but he once knew someone who did. This was a place you would've thrived in and maybe some part of him wanted you to be there, some sick joke life was playing really.

His whole body froze right as he knew it. There you were, that silk baby pink dress that just made you glow paired with that white fur shawl that he remembers you showed off to him. How adorable you were telling him that it caught your eye and might be useful at a formal event.

Something he thought he'd only ever see in his dreams again.

Barely blinking as you stared at the painting mounted on the wall with this golden frame, you expression deep in thought yet your eyes were glassed with admiration.

What does he do? Without thinking, he stepped forward in hopes that his body would be strong enough to be able to approach you.

He was about to when.. a man approaches you, embracing you from behind. You were caught of guard but you quickly realize who it was and it was clear to John what your familiarity was with this man.

The image of the man burying his face on the nape of your neck was more than enough to cruelly twist the knife in his heart that's been lodged there for the past 3 years.

Those three words uttered by the man, loud enough for John to hear, the same one you'd always tell him but he rarely returned for a reason he himself is unaware of.

The sound of the camera clicks snapped Price out of his trance, paparazzi, who wouldn't want to capture an intimate, romantic moment between a couple who both happened to be rich?

He couldn't do anything to fix this even if he tried, for all he knew you were now in the arms of a influential, dangerous man who would destroy John's life if he wanted to. He gulps, not knowing what to do..

My CoD Masterlist

A/n: Was this inspired by that one scene from Twisted LIes?? Idk what you're talking about 👀 ALSO DON'T SPOIL ME, I'M ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH THE BOOK

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thelightdjinnofpalestine @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo

#cod x reader #aethelwyne lia writes #john price #captain price #captain price x female reader #captain price x you #price x reader #captain price x reader #john price x you #john price x y/n #john price x reader #x reader #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #price x you #price x y/n #john price x female reader #john price x plus size reader #twisted series #christian harper #stella alonso #twisted lies

[cat-mentality]

I wonder how fucking scared Cellbit must be all the time.

How every time anyone on the Island, but mostly his family, go anywhere near any building of the Federation or any close to Cucurucho the only thing going through his mind is the crippling fear that they will not come back.

Or not whole at least.

I wonder if he thinks about Felps. About a body trapped in ice, so cold to the touch that it hurt to hold him but he still pushed through it to hold him to his chest, Felps looking so still, pale and lifeless, breathing so slow he feared for the worst.

I wonder if he thinks about a long corridor and the pain as the chainsaw made contact with his flesh, of the warmth of the blood, if he is haunted by the echo of the mechanical laughter.

I wonder if he thinks about the missing days.

If he keeps awake at night trying to remember anything that happened. Anything he may have done. Wonders in the dark of the nights what was so terrible, so secretive the Federation didn't allow him to remember doing.

I wonder if every time someone is gone for too long Cellbit fears for the worst.

If when Etoiles is gone for some faraway dungeon he worries he will go missing and they wouldn't even know. If when Felps goes mining, deep underground when no one can reach him not even his own memories, Cellbit will sometimes go to his square just to hear the noise, to calm himself.

If he keeps track of when Roier or any of the FavelaFive leave any building, if he pays attention to where they are going and whether or not they are alone because no one really paid attention to Quackity leaving and look at how he is now. I wonder if he checks in the map from time to time just to make sure he knows where they are in case they need help, or even to know where to look if they don't come back when they are supposed to.

I wonder if he feels dread polling in his insides when he can't find their location. I wonder if he tries to keep optimistic, understand that sometimes people just need a bit of privacy and quiet, but another part is dreading the connotations, is wondering if the lack of location was not something forced.

I wonder if he worries about all those people accepting tasks from Cucurucho. I don't think Cellbit is truly angry about it, or at least not angry for the obvious reasons (He tortured me, a voice he tries to bury still screeches somewhere inside, do none of you care about all the pain he caused me? Traitors, traitors) but because he knows what the Federation is capable off, if when he hears Jaiden insist that Cucurucho is not so bad he is terrified they will use her ability to see the good on anyone to hurt her.

I wonder if when he sees what Pac and Mike are building he always keeps an eye on his surroundings, expecting to see a white figure with a gun in hand, if he bites his tongue and only lets the praises out because what right does he have to tell them what to do? How do you explain to them how terrified it makes him when they push the rules? How does he convey his worries when maybe all they will hear are the echoes of a man with a bloodied knife who tried to control them?

I wonder if Cellbit makes an effort to speak lower when Pac is around, if he grips his emotions and pushes them down, down, down, if he screams so loudly inside his own head that the voices are forced to silence themselves. I wonder how he feels when Pac flinches away from his anger even when said anger is on his behalf.

Does Cellbit see too much of himself in Tubbo?

Does he look at this scrappy looking kid, (is he a kid? Cellbit wasn't one, he doesn't know, but Tubbo does not have the soulless eyes he is so familiar with), and is haunted by how familiar it all is? His brashness, his unwillingness to accept things as they are, his determination to mess with the Federation, his bravado when Cucurucho comes to insure a warning, his plans to obtain answers, his curiosity.

Cellbit was like that once.

Before a chainsaw, before a betrayal, before missing days, before he started to fear.

I wonder if Cellbit looks at Tubbo and asks himself how long until he breaks.

Because he will break.

Because that is what the Island does to people- It breaks them, it twists their emotions and their bodies and their minds until they don't know what is right, what is and what isn't.

And this is why Cellbit need to find a way for them to leave this cursed land.

The Island has given him everything he has, Cellbit is nothing without his son, without his husband, without his found family, without his friends.

But he would rather be nothing, than to watch as they get hurt over and over again.

#qsmp #also knows as emotional torture #im in a suffering mood so i though i should share this with the internet void #qsmp analysis #sort of i guess #qsmp cellbit #i started writing this literally the day the eggs went missing but just couldn't find a way to end it #still not happy but eh #it is what is #holy shit did it get longer than i expected

[fanfic-lover-girl]

I Finally Watched Encanto

And it was very underwhelming. I don't get what the hype was about. It was mid at best. The best thing about it was probably the visuals. Oh, I loved the variety of skin tones! Usually, I don't care about skin colour in movies but for some reason, it stood out to me in this one. The intro and outro scenes were good too.

I am not a film expert so I can't convey what made the film fall flat for me. But here are some things that I found lacking:

The music is not memorable and I found it hard to immerse myself in it. I absolutely hated Surface Pressure. Some parts of We Don't Talk About Bruno were nice to listen to but it still wouldn't make the top 10 of my Disney songs list. It's not a song I would sing to myself. I can't even remember any of the lyrics besides the title namesake. I think my favourite piece was the Caterpillar song that played for Abuela Alma and Pedro. Maybe partly because it's in Spanish so I have lower expectations for it lol. Since I barely speak Spanish and all.

The family members kind of felt like plot devices? That just appeared when the plot called for it? I am not sure how to explain it but the main culprit for me was Isabela. She was basically a nothing character who was just there in the background being a prima donna and rolling her eyes. Then once Mirabel supposedly has to confront her, she has all this major development in like 2 mins and finally cracks? Luisa was way better because I saw her insecurities and how weakness made her feel worthless throughout the movie. I don't understand why Cousin Camilo was needed in the movie. His dad was good enough comic relief. I loved Antonio at the start and his relationship with Mirabel. I wanted to see that relationship more in the movie so much. But then even he began to feel like a cheap plot device.

How Bruno was handled was unsatisfying. The whole plot about Bruno just felt contrived. Bruno is supposed to be the family undesirable who no one talks about...but Dolores knew about him the entire time? The ending with Abuela and Bruno felt so rushed too. I thought the climax would have involved Bruno more but he just showed up at the end and now everything is ok? Bruno was just a way to show Mirabel how special she was and once that happened, everything about Bruno was wrapped up in a neat tidy bow.

The plot development was poor and felt like a plot in an adventure game. Gave me similar vibes to the plot in The Rise of Skywalker. How Luisa just happens to know Mirabel's starting point. How Mirabel just happens to find Bruno when the dude has been living unnoticed for how long. Even the ending with the butterfly almost made me roll my eyes.

The powers felt underdeveloped. I don't understand the limits of them and why only the Madrigals have them. Well, I guess it makes sense for the family to have the miracle to themselves as a kind of comfort for Pedro dying...like men don't sacrifice themselves for their families nobly all the time. How much weight can Luisa lift? What is the range of Pepa's powers? Mirabel said in her song that her mood affects the weather but the movie mainly shows the weather just affects her individual space. How do they control them? What if someone abuses their powers?

Anyway, its not a bad movie but I wouldn't watch it again. I preferred Coco over Encanto. The family relationship felt more developed and the focus was just on the family members relevant to the plot. The Abuela in Coco was more sympathetic and the generational trauma was way more justified there. Plus the music was better and the plot development felt more organic. I would watch Coco again. Encanto is just meh and seems a tad overrated.

#encanto #encanto critical #coco disney #coco vs encanto #madrigal family #bruno madrigal #mirabel madrigal #luisa madrigal #isabela madrigal #antonio madrigal #alma madrigal #bruno deserved better writing #i wonder what would have happened if bruno was more of a deuteragonist?

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ep.23 thoughts

[Mamaaa! Didn't Mean to Make You Cryyy!]

I guess if any episodes had to be the best episodes, it's appropriate that they be the end of the season, but god dammit, why wasn't every episode this good???

The animation, the music, the emotional weight, this episode was a real all-rounder. Even with how comparatively little action there was, it was great!

I actually feel like there's nothing for me to say, it was so good. There weren't any big reinterpretations of the source material for me to latch onto, mostly just little details like the pages crumpling under Sean's feet to convey his presence or a subtle Easter egg when Rip cut off Anno Un's arm. The coolest detail was definitely that Akira couldn't narrate the preview anymore now that we know who he is, but I get the feeling I wouldn't have noticed that if other people hadn't pointed it out first

If we're lucky, maybe that'll mean there's no recap next week...

Something this episode did help me realize, though, was that Yuki Yase's style really lends itself well to dramatic weight rather than pulse-pounding action. As we saw, the latter is still possible, but I think the thing that killed the pacing for the season as a whole was the insistence on pregnant pauses and atmospheric shots over a consistent flow of events and ideas. The dark lighting and zoomed-out shots are both pretty indicative of this, and were definitely my least favorite elements of the season. Those moments that reduced visual clarity to presumably focus on what was being said were, ironically, very distracting for me, as I always found myself trying to figure out where the cast was (though I think they were usually hiding behind Hulu's garishly huge subtitles) instead of focusing on what was being said

As near as I remember, though, this episode didn't really have moments like that, and if it did, they went by quick enough that I didn't really notice them. I remember this episode being very bright with the exception of the brief moment of sepia with Akira sitting next to his grieving mother, which was extremely poignant without the directorial style I was complaining about. If I had to guess, aside from the amazing moments of sakuga, this was the biggest reason this episode left such a good impression

I'm not really good at understanding this sort of thing, but I hope to learn at some point who was in charge of what in each episode; Yuki Yase is the director of the series as a whole, not individual episodes, so it's possible that he's not responsible for most of my gripes this past half year, but it's also possible that his overall style overshadowed everyone else's decisions, so he may well be responsible either way. I hope that someone like Totally Not Mark will cover UU down the road so I can get insight on this from someone who's good at hunting down that kind of information and comparing one bit of an artist's works to the rest. I may not like researching that kind of thing, but I do love hearing about it!

With that, we have one final episode to go. Will it be up to snuff with the last two episodes, will it miss the landing, or will it go above and beyond and convince a million people to sit through 20 episodes of recaps just to see how it gets to this point? We'll find out next week, and I can't wait!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

#undead unluck #fouryearsandananime #uu anime #4y1a reviews

[eldritch-thrumming]

okay so admittedly I haven't seen wwdits either (at least not yet) but it occurred to me earlier this morning after seeing the wwdits au again that it could really funny if Steve's whole "No, Eddie's really going to turn me, he said so 🥹🥹" deal was actually him doing some sort of emotional blackmail thing to Eddie (poss w Robin's help (I am a platonic soulmates Stobin truther)), and eventually he's going to start slipping in stray remarks about how he REALLY likes/is into Eddie and he thinks Eddie's into him too but they keep dancing around each other and what if Eddie loses interest in him as Steve ages? Or what if something happens and Steve dies? If Eddie turned him into a vampire Steve wouldn't be so worried about them running out of time. And, you know, Steve wouldn't even mind staying human if he knew he wouldn't end up losing Eddie bc of it (remember the joke about the age gap between the >100 yr old vampire & his 70~80 yr old girlfriend? Picture that but Steddie in this scenario). Just lots of little comments like that, often with Robin twisting the knife as soon as Steve's out of earshot. Maybe at some point the Party figure out what Steve's doing and start deliberately leading conversations that way/editing for max emotional impact. Steve figures one of three things will happen: 1st and preferred is Eddie feels bad enough to turn Steve, and at some point either before or after they figure their shit out enough to begin a relationship. Close 2nd is that they begin a relationship but Steve stays human (bc it really is convenient to have someone around who can walk around in daylight and do all the practical shit like shopping for household needs, Steve acknowledges). Very distant third is Eddie actually isn't into Steve at all and admits he was just using Steve, at which point Steve would leave. In the last scenario Robin proceeds to make Eddie's life hell, in the most amusing for a documentary way possible. I think Steve is Exactly canny enough to come up with this and enough of a bitch to actually do it. (Sorry for the length)

yesssssss. i think that steve is pretty obviously using eddie too tbh… he wants to be a vampire! who wouldn’t! and a really important aspect of the show is that they really are all assholes, guillermo included. guillermo participates in bringing them victims and in their absolutely batshit insane schemes. he steals from the nightclub for his own gain. he manipulates nandor and laszlo and nadja! they’re ALL bad people lol and that’s what makes everything so funny.

so yes, I do kind of love this idea of steve using eddies feelings and insecurities against him (once a mean girl, always a mean girl!) and im kinda obsessed w the idea that robin would absolutely egg steve on and even threaten to turn steve herself—bonds are formed between maker and made and eddie would absolutely seethe at the idea, i think. just the thought of steve calling anyone but him master would have his ice cold blood absolutely boiling lol and robin would just be sat in the corner eating the chaos up with a spoon.

in my mind, steve is very much aware that eddie has no intentions of turning him any time soon (he’s been his familiar for ten years, for god’s sake!!!) and that if he really wants to be turned, he has to take matters into his own hands.

the reason that i haven’t written too much of this au rn is because im trying to figure out how to convey this idea of editing/cinematography showing the audience things that not everyone in the house is privy to all at once, because i absolutely love the idea of dustin, lucas, and will taking matters into their own hands and trying to manipulate eddie into treating steve better lol but i think a kind of mix of povs without getting too entrenched in interiority of the individuals can be the only way to go lol

but in this au, eddie and steve are very much very into each other and have been since they met at a nightclub and pretty much everyone knows it but them!!! they’re just very fuckin dumb lol

#steddie #wwdits steddie au #this is my most controversial au to date lol

[martinsorbit]

Finders Keepers: Draft #2 (first bit) / About Earlier

My grammar mistake checker isnt working so. We die like men until I get to my computer later. This is just a bit from draft 2, I'll prob finish it later, i just HAD to show this part i wrote hehe

Also, this is mostly a test for writing character dialogs and conversations!! sorey if it looks a bit scuffed :]

Scene Context: You and Sun come back to your house after a rather stressful morning out in town. Some things happened, and you are pretty pissed about it, so you go into your backyard to try and get it all out. Sun comes up to you to ask if you're ok and two talk about what happened some hours ago.

"Well, It's just that—" Sun interrupts himself as if he's rethinking on what he should say to you. There is a small pause before he continues

"I don't think this is a healthy way to cope with what happened, friend! ...Let alone safe." He says the last part a bit more quietly than the whole sentence.

The worst part is not that you are being lectured about how you should properly channel your anger; The worst part, really, was that he was right– and you knew it.

"I mean, I never really said it was— I- I know It's not really a good way to get it all out, but hey what can I do." you let out a forced chuckle in a failed attempt to make the conversation more light, but it doesn't work, In fact, Sun seems a bit more worried about your well-being now.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” They come closer to try and get your attention, tilting their head only slightly. There are a few seconds of silence as you look away, thinking of a way to maybe change the conversation's subject.

You don't feel like talking about happened earlier, but given how Sun is just as stubborn as you in some regards, there probably isn't an escape from this interaction.

"I'm fine, it's just that..." you start, trying to find the right words to properly convey your thoughts.

"Remember the lady we saw this morning? The one met when leaving hardware store?"

Of course he remembers. Hell, even if he wanted to, they probably wouldn't be able to forget it. Neither of you would.

"Well, she's certainly a hard figure to forget– for a bit at least– She did says some rather... mean things." Sun's ray's shrink a bit while they start fidgeting with what's left of their wrist ribbons.

" Sun, she treated you like shit! for no reason at all!". You raise your voice, but as soon as you notice, you try talking a bit more lower to try and calm yourself down: "It makes me so pissed off, she just didn't care."

"Maybe she was having a bad day! People have those sometimes"

"It certainly didn't look like it, and even if she was, it doesn't just give her the right to lash out at you!" You turn to Sun with a bit of concern in your eyes. "Aren't you upset about it too?"

There is a short silence while you wait for their response. You dont know if the delay for his answer is because he's trying to figure out what to answer, or if hes considering to even answer the question at all.

The only thing breaking the silence is the almost unnoticeable clicks coming from their machinery

"To say that we aren't would be a lie, we are pretty upset! It's just that... we got a bit used to this by now!"

Sun saying that, with the unchanging smile of his faceplate makes you feel sad on the inside. He pokes the top of your head, slowly changing back to his cheerful tone. "You don't need to get your silly head all worried for us! We are fine"

"But I WANT to worry! This isn't okay, Sun! You shouldn't just be getting thrown around and treated badly just because people can! None of you." You protest, denying their request. "You have feelings and a life just like any other, they should know that."

"Why do you care so much? This doesn't affect you, it doesn't hurt you! Why do you care so much about us?!" They say, back with a less jokey tone and more of a serious one.

While Sun's question comes off a bit more harsh than they intend, you feel like there is also some kind of confussion behind it. His question is serious, because he genuinely doesn't get why you would care about their well-being at all.

"Because you are my friend!" You say, in the same tone—if not louder.

He doesn't answer, though the clicking sound seems to appear again.

"I care about you guys, and I WANT to care! You are deserving of love and kindness, even if you don't feel like you do sometimes."

#text #finders keepers y/n #finders Keepers au #martinsayssfuff #sun #dca #y/n #sun x y/n #kinda???

[aintgonnatakethis]

❤️🧡💔 ?

Thanks for the ask! 😄 I'll give both SGU and SGA a go too!

❤️️: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

My kneejerk reaction is Telford. People make (or made rather, when there were more people writing for the fandom) the actions he takes have malicious intent behind them more often than not. I reckon while the things he does might appear cruel to other characters who don't have all the facts, actually making him do things for cruelty's sake is massively OOC. He's completely goal-orientated, which means he will do awful things in order to achieve his desired outcome (e.g. I don't believe he slept with Emily because it would have been counterproductive for the message he was trying to convey, but if sleeping with her had given him the outcome he wanted he would have done it without thinking twice) but he's not going to just hurt people for the fun of it.

For SGA I have to go with Keller, with the stereotypical 'this woman is getting in the way of the popular m/m ship so it's character assassination time!' I was surprised even the Legacy books got in on it with her banning Rodney from seeing female friends after a certain time of day??? Madness. I agree with the popular opinion that she and Ronon had more chemistry and her reasoning for choosing Rodney was a bit dodgy, but it's always the same when the main m/m ship is threatened and I'm tired of it, ya know?

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

Been trying to think of a non-Telford answer, but I'm afraid I'm as just as focused on the prize as he is. 😂 I was hugely surprised to find the majority of the fandom believed that Telford slept with Emily. As I said above, I don't think it's a moral problem - he would have 100% done it if it served his purposes imo - but it seems so obvious to me watching the show that he didn't? He's trying to convince her that Young is still cheating on her, so if he waltzes in there and tries to seduce her she'll just put him in the same category as Young and he won't be trustworthy. His whole approach is to prove to her he's 'not like other men' and then she'll feel safe enough with him to believe whatever he says.

Off topic, but I wanna gush about something. Imo sleeping with Emily wouldn't have been the line the brainwashing was unable to break through, but very clearly the baby was the line, as Kiva had no clue that was Young's kid TJ was carrying while she was holding them hostage, as she was about to kill them rather than threaten Young with their deaths (which would have immediately brought the situation to a close lbr). She said she'd read extensive reports on everyone aboard Destiny (which is why she knew Greer wasn't a medic and it was a trap), but Telford clearly hadn't told her about the baby's parentage! Not even the brainwashing could make him do that!

For SGA, I can't actually think of one? I'm not as involved in the SGA community so maybe I'm missing something obvious?

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

Have to admit I'm not terribly keen on Eli. Big 'ah yes this character will be a favourite amongst our Target Audience' energy, because even when there's every recorded statistic to the contrary, many writer's rooms will absolutely flat out refuse to stop feeding themselves the lie that their show is being watched by a majority audience of men. *cough cough* Supernatural

This isn't going to be popular at all, but I guess this is the unpopular opinions game… Michael. I never clicked with him, sorry. 😭

Unpopular opinion ask game

#ask game #bagheerita #mine #sgu #sga

[purpleshadow-star]

A lot of lmm us just white saviors trying to justify disliking him just cause THEY were weird and annoying about Hamilton 😭 even the criticism about the casting is pretty stupid...it's...a musical. not a documentary? and wouldn't it be even worse if it was a bunch of white ppl rapping? idk ppl don't have media literacy like at all. plus it's literally about Hamiltons life specifically...certain things aren't gonna be at the forefront but to act like they were never mentioned at all??? like even barring the slavery stuff, if u saw it and went "what a nice guy!" after seeing him cheat on his wife and b over all duplicitous then ur also very stupid. idk ppl pmo 💀

Yeah, I've never understood people who say that the musical Hamilton is glorifying any of the founding fathers. Like they all did bad things in the show, except maybe Washington, but I feel like he was portrayed in a more neutral way? Idk, maybe that's just me. LMM actually did say in an interview that there was so much of Hamilton's life that he didn't include simply because he couldn't fit it in. He said you could pretty much pick any moment of Hamilton's life and make a whole musical about it, so he had to pick and choose what moments he wanted to convey. Tbh, I'm impressed that Lin managed to essentially fit Hamilton's whole life into the musical, even if a lot of moments had to be glossed over due to time.

Also, people disliking the casting is weird to me cause the whole point is to give more people of color more opportunities to shine on Broadway since they didn't have too many opportunities at the time.

None of these things are bad? Things can always be better in hindsight, but still, I don't see a real reason that anyone should morally dislike him. Like, everyone can have their own opinions, but to say that he's objectively a bad person is actually just wrong, lol.

Also also, people who dislike things/people just because they're good and/or popular are just weird to me.

Anyway, nobody's perfect, but Lin Manuel Miranda is definitely not as bad as some people try to make him out to be.

#yeah i still don't get why people dislike him so much #i think it's really the justifications people try to give. they just don't make sense #to me at least #idk #¯\ (ツ) /¯ #my asks #lin manuel miranda #hamilton

[learntolive-again]

While it is an understandable mistake to make, Jesus' association with individuals did not necessarily convey an approval of their behavior. While there are some positive aspects to the lgbtq community and they have been rather mistreated in the past, I question prudence of associating with a group so focused on sexuality when the early church fathers debated whether any sexually was appropriate at all. I would also question whether witchcraft and polytheism would be appropriate in a monotheistic religions setting or whether devotion to pagan gods that regularly engaged in sexual violence is really compatible with being a follower of someone like Jesus. 

I would proposed that those who have less than accurate and less than charitable views of queer folks maybe not be lumped in with christofascism because that is more the domain of movements and groups like The Iron Guard in Romania, you know that insane death cult.  perhaps you've completed a negative attitude towards promiscuous sexual activity with that of you know murdering Jewish people for no reason. Which was of course what you know the Iron Guard did.

I am unfamiliar with Catholic theology being taught in the way that you describe, perhaps you may be mistaken as to the Catholic character of the theology education you received? Where did you receive this education from, if I may ask?

Hi! TW rape, abuse, and conversion therapy

So, pointing out that Jesus spent time with specific people isn't inherently a sign that he approved of them, but it IS a sign that he disapproved of the abuse and and mistreatment of those people. I don't know about you, but if I thought someone deserved to be tortured and mistreated for who they are I wouldn't spend time with them. My apologies if the point was unclear, but I assure you it wasn't born out of an misunderstanding.

My current beliefs and spiritual practices are born of a very, very long journey and most of it is born of my own religious trauma as a queer person, as well as someone who was physically and sexually abused under the excuse of Christianity. The full story is one that I would need much more then this response to answer, and tbh I've been incredibly sick all day and probably don't have the energy to go down that road (Lupus sucks, do not recommend). Suffice it to say I don't expect other people to understand or approve of how I express my beliefs and how I practice Catholicism, and that's ok. I understand where your questions and concerns come from, but I've found a practice that brings me peace and brings me closer to God without granting me permission to mistreat others. There are a lot of examples of how people and societies have blended Christianity with their native faiths, some examples being Hoodoo (which I won't go into further because it has a lot to do with generational trauma that I, as a white person, don't feel qualified to explain) and Appalachian Mountain Folk Magic. Also, just to be completely clear, I didn't learn how to blend those two paths at university, and I don't think I ever said I did.

I think that the example you gave of Christofascism (which isn't a point I brought up, just pointing that out. But since you brought it up Im going to address it) is a great one, but it doesn't negate how the Catholic church has gone out of its way to silence and condemn other practices and cultures. My friend @baelpenrose would be able to break that particular argument down for you further.

My biggest issue with the post that started this whole thing was that it made an unfounded correlation between being queer and abusing kids; the implications were that even exposing kids to or educating them about the LGBTQA+ community is inherently abusive and that's not true. We've suffered so much at the hands of the church and hearing someone claim that I'm a child molester for being around kids is crazy. To say that we've been "rather" mistreated in the past is a gross understatement; I'll remind you that up until terrifyingly recently we were hardly considered people. I think your statement about conflating "promiscuous sexual activity" with the murder of Jewish people is really misguided and gross, though I don't think it was intentional, and it exhibits a certain amount of ignorance about queer people in general. It seems to convey that being queer makes you a slut or whore by default, and if we take the context of the original post into play here it implies that makes those people inherently dangerous to children. I'd once again like to remind you I never made the correlation between that and Christofascism.

The Catholic church has caused more trauma and damage to children then queer people ever have, and when people deny or apologize for that it makes my blood boil.

Hope I managed to address most of what you brought up, like I said my body's fighting me a bit today. Thanks for bringing at least a somewhat civil and intelligent argument on board.

#trauma trigger #potentially triggering #abuse tw #tw molestation #tw csa #tw childhood trauma #catholic witch #catholicism #christian witch #christopagan

[meimi-haneoka]

(Same asker) Thanks again. I think ENG scans with summaries were on Facebook too. Maybe they didn't cover Kaito differences as much. i know SP has things like Portuguese vs BR-PT? but maybe thats a different thing (not sure how many on that side are sharing translation) That makes a lot more sense if all that is whats happening. but what doesn't make sense is why ENG side would have this bias? Why hurt the franchise making them money? So maybe it's just inexperience after all but still weird?

Hm, if it's that, reposting the ENG scans in their entirety is something I'm sure CLAMP wouldn't approve of. And I can well imagine they didn't cover the differences with Kaito that much (ironically, he's the one where they mess up the most), you have to love that character to notice the difference in "treatment" between the original and the ENG version...and get mad enough to want to tell the world that things aren't exactly as they are telling them in the official translation.

I have honestly no idea why they're doing that. Some things are objectively difficult to translate, just like CLAMP said themselves in the latest Space. So even when trying to find an alternative close enough, you have to be careful to not convey the wrong impression. And I think simply the translator till now misunderstood CLAMP's intention when it came to Kaito. Like, in chapter 51 they made him say (in ENG) "Now that I know what sorceries I might manifest, yes" in response to Momo pointing out that he was risking his life in order to complete the magic he wished for. That line sounded like "now that I know what I'm capable of, I'm gonna do that to prove just how powerful I am". Arrogant and selfish, in line with the idea they gave of him this whole time. It's no wonder, no wonder really, that people in the international fandom till now believed that Kaito just wanted to achieve power for himself. In Japanese, Kaito simply said that he learned the spell to activate the forbidden magic, so that's why he was trying to bring it to completion. Not even the slightest hint of "bragging" about his capabilities. And his statement wasn't indicating general "sorceries", but a very specific spell to complete and activate the forbidden magic.

And like this, so, so many other instances.

As I already said, maybe a reason could also be that "pushing" on the "villain" pedal would've made CCS more "interesting", in their minds. So maybe they thought it was a good idea. But it's not. It distorts its core and misrepresents the series. Kaito was never meant to be a villain from the beginning, he was only supposed to give the idea to go "against" Sakura&co, but by his speech it was always clear that there was never any animosity towards them.

#reply #clear card arc #anonymous #ccsakura

[bulldyke-rider]

“I want ring side seats when he beats you tho” does come off as you being giddy at the idea of a woman being beaten, whether that was your intention or not. “I want ring side seats” is the part that indicates glee in watching it. I don’t think I was misinterpreting that at all. I’ve been following you a while and agree with you on many things, I think you’re good at verbalizing concepts in a detailed way. The whole malicious and spiteful “don’t come crying to me when your boyfriend beats you” attitude is certainly new. I’m not sure if that’s because you might be a different circle now where people say those things more openly, or something happened irl, or maybe your mental health has gotten worse and you’re lashing out in my overt ways. I sent you an ask a while ago that said I hope your situation improves. That was back when your cat was having issues and I still mean that. I know you were suicidal at one point, no idea if you still are currently, but I understand the painful burden of it, of having trouble finding a point in living when nothing seems to get better. It destroys the part of you that wishes well on others and feeds the the part that lives on rage. I know a lot of this is assumptions and very condescending and annoying but I wouldn’t say it with bad intention. I’m only going on what you’ve put out into the world. Feel free to call me stupid and wrong and describe in detail all the ways I’m wrong, of course

Lol, do not pull that "I'm just worried about you" shit.

And you didn't think I was giddy at the idea of a woman being beaten or you wouldn't have said that you don't believe I am. Y'all willfully misinterpret literally everything I say for no reason.

"I don't believe you want this" "well, I wasn't trying to even convey that I want that" "um, honey, this is why it looks like you want that" you can't have it both ways.

[problemswithbooks]

What’s up with endeavour’s backstory because even after seeing the translated scans I’m like ???

I think it's a bit little to be called a backstory--it's more just an explanation/exposition.

That said I do think for now it will be a bit confusing because we'll more chapters to see what Hori is actually trying to convey with these new developments.

From what I've seen I feel people are putting a bit to much emphasis on the whole father/daughter death thing, feeling like it's his origin story in someway. This has lead to people who are critical of his character to question how this big event in his life wasn't brought up before, or how he had to be told by All Might that children and the future is what his powers should be used for as the new #1, when he should already know that given what he saw.

Personally, I don't think Enji ever viewed that moment as a defining trait of why he wanted to be a Hero. Not to say it didn't effect him greatly, but the reason he didn't really think about it before is because he never really understood how much it impacted his life. This wasn't like Nana dying for All Might, or Oboro's death for Aizawa, where they never could forget it and clearly understand that it was an event that shaped their current view of the world.

These were random strangers and so most of the time, once he got over his shock from the experience, he didn't think about them. He wasn't constantly reminded by their lack of presence in his life. His life moved on and he's gone through a lot in that time. So to me it makes sense he only recalls it when thinking back to his younger years and is actually seeming to wonder how he even became the person he did.

Now, with reflection he remembered that moment and can see how it effected his outlook on life, and probably influenced his jealously of All Might and his name as a Hero.

I don't think that some of takes where people say he took the wrong thing from incident are necessarily fair. It's true that I believe Enji didn't see the fatherly instinct in that moment and probably took away, instead the helplessness of the situation, figuring that if the father was stronger (the super-human individual he perceived All Might to be) he could saved both himself and his daughter. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad take away either, or even a surprising one given Enji was a young teen at the time--aka a child himself.

Most kids wouldn't look at that situation from a parental perspective--a "I will be the type of parent that dies to try and save my child, and probably more from the perspective of "If that was my father I'd want him to be able to save us". So it's not shocking to me that Enji didn't take away a lesson in parenting from the situation. Also, even as bad as a father as Enji has been, if he didn't freeze up, I'm sure he'd die to save his kids--heck he probably would have died to save Shoto even before his character arc. Just because a parent is willing to risk their life for their child doesn't mean they're a good, non-abusive parent.

As for what all of Enji's self refection means, again, I don't think it's possible to say yet. From what we've seen, I'd say maybe he's turned his weaknesses into his strength--aka his stubbornness to keep going in order to prove himself. At least I hope it is, because this late in the story, that is rushing toward an ending we don't have time for Enji to not move forward with his character development. But we won't know for sure until we see more of what these new revelations mean for/to Enji and how they might effect how he acts moving forward.

#ask #thanks for the ask! #bnha #bnha spoilers #mha #endeavor #enji todoroki #i'm a little confused to given we dont have much context yet #by the framing id say it's a break through #and improvement #but it's kind of vague wording wise at times #so it's more then fine to be unsure what's going on #I'm not sure 100% either

[ennaku-sirri-da]

Hii i just wanted to say!! Thank you soso much for your wonderful tags on my piece for the smile for me zine! im still all mushy about it :'-) s4m is important to me as a whole, but Trencil has a particular special place in my heart!! the main idea I wanted to try and convey was Trencil tending to his overgrown garden, much like his heart, in an attempt to change and grow and move on (i see him as a widdow!), taking the last flower he and his partner planted together and getting ready the pot he now always carries it in. so he's got his reminder of love with him, and he'll always be taking good care of it

Of course!! You get what you deserve!!!

That's a lovely interpretation :") ( smiling emote with tears) thank you for sharing.

Hmm...I feel I should share something in return....well there's this MLP fic very very special to me called The Mare At The End Of Forever by Obselescence...

--

(Withered and weak, she sat with the tree, guarded only by the dwindling magic of a million-year-old spell. Somehow, it seemed fitting. She was ancient by then—beyond ancient—but the tree was ancient too. She had seen to that much. It had grown older and grayer with her as the years had gone by, and was practically fossilized now, despite her preservative magic... Soon it would die with her too. Neither of them would be forced to face the end alone.

"There isn’t much time left, Sister," said Luna, suddenly sitting beside her as well. "Are you sure there is nothing left that you wish to say? No final words?"

Of course. Celestia sighed. She couldn't be left to die in peace. "Leave me alone, Luna," she croaked. "I've said all there is to say for you. I've done all I could do—" a hacking cough interrupted her and her eyes drooped downward as her energy began to flag. Even the mere effort of speech was starting to take its toll on her. It almost hurt to talk. "If there's anything more... I don't care to hear about it."

Luna moved in close and draped her wing over her. It seemed bigger now, to Celestia. Or perhaps, in her age, she had simply shrunk. "I never asked that you do more," said Luna softly. "You have done so much, Sister. Far more than anyone could ever have asked of you."

"Then... why do you keep coming back?"

"To remind you," said Luna, "so that you would not forget."

"I don't want to remember," Celestia rasped. "I shouldn't have to remember."

Luna said nothing to that, but drew her wing in, nestling a bit closer to her big sister. She felt warm, Celestia realized. Warmer than anything she'd been able to feel in a long time.

"It was often said that the moon needs the sun," said Luna, after a time, "for the moon could not shine if it did not reflect the sun's light."

"When there were still those who could say that..." said Celestia, her eyes turning back to the ancient tree behind her. "When there was still a moon..."

"But I think it true also," Luna continued, "that the sun needs the moon, to keep its light shining when the night is at its blackest, and all is dark."

"It hasn't been dark for a long time."

Luna hugged her tightly, tears starting to flow from her eyes. "You think it meant nothing because it came to nothing," she said. "But it did mean something. We all meant something. To you. If ever, even once, a subject, a student, or a sister, mattered to you—if you still cherish what time you did have with them—that is reason enough for them to have lived in the first place."

Celestia coughed again and shuddered. The sand glowed with heat from the flickering sun. She wouldn't last much longer, she knew. Not like this. She didn't have to deal with Luna’s shadow forever. The chill of death, slowly welling up inside her, would save her from that fate. "I keep telling you: it doesn't mean anything to me now," she said. "Maybe it did... Not anymore. I’ve grown past that."

Luna smiled at her, her eyes bright through the tears. It wasn’t the disappointed, piteous smile from so many millions of years ago, but that adoring, unconditional grin she'd always worn when she’d looked up to Celestia in life. Celestia could barely remember the last time she had seen that smile, and she wondered how, after everything she had said, Luna could still wear it while looking down on her in death.

"As you wish, Sister," she said. "But you are wrong: if it truly meant nothing to you, the tree above us now would not still be standing."

With that last parting shot, Luna vanished, and the feathery warmth of her wing faded into the air around Celestia, leaving her alone to spend what little time she had left.

And with only a few hours left on the clock, Celestia turned her head upward one final time. Through the withered and leafless branches of her tree, she looked to the looming red sun that she was destined to die with. She leaned just a bit to the side, to rest her head against the tree that was her baby sister’s gravestone, and mustered just enough of her remaining strength to smile.

"Fair enough, Luna." She closed her eyes. I'll see you soon.)

--

It may not be a 1:1 with your headcanon, but I do not mean it to be. I simply see that, they both carry the same beauty and thought in them. It's wonderful what we can do for the people we love. It's wonderful how the feeling I got from a fic I read more than ten years ago, author's left the fandom, can be brought back in just the 5 or 6 sentences where you have passed on your story. Celestia moves on from all-encompassing grief, and so does Trencil. Both shall rise like new stars in the wake of the dark left behind.

#ask #death tw #i hope this is coherent DHDBG Im just an emotional person

[lanaintheskydreams]

Dream Journal for Sat July 9

Night before: Had a frustrating day trying to make a website but felt rushed, then spent the evening vegan cafe hopping to 3 places then felt so gross and went home and passed out. Even vegan food can be unhealthy.

I hate these dreams. I dreamt that 2 teeth fell out. And it was over a long period of time in the dream too. My top right canine, then the molar adjacent to it. In the dream I was in all of these places like school and many other places, and during the course of this time, my teeth were slowly falling out. It was uncomfortable and I wanted to goto a dentist asap, but by the end of the dream, my canine had fallen out, rather uncleanly too, I had tooth vestiges on my gums for some reason? I guess dream Lana doesn't know how teeth falling works...but maybe it was conveying that it wouldn't be a clean break. And then my second tooth was also coming out. Raya was there. Also earlier in my dream I was interacting with my college friend Kim alot too. I think I was back in film school actually. In my dream, my logic was that I kept attributing my teeth falling to my wisdom teeth being taken out. I thought that the crowding of my wisdom teeth pushed on all of my other teeth and was pushing these two out - which makes no sense. I know I felt horrified, loss of power, felt helpless, but relieved when the canine came out, but was just deeply wondering what was going on. I've had my fair share of teeth loss dreams, and I hate them all but this one was the longest most detailed one I've ever had. All I can do is write down my current state of being in my waking life and think its from that somehow. I am currently juggling tons of projects that I am very excited about. I finally feel like I am embodying my true self and purpose. I am so excited, but at the same time, my grounding has fallen away. Each day, I am not meeting my tiny goals and balance like just brushing my teeth, having good hygiene for my body and my surroundings. I feel like I am living in two worlds, one I really care about, and the rest I am just keeping my toes in for whatever reason - survival, care, ego. I remember the rest of the dream being very good and I had alot of fun. I was definitely in a school again learning. My dreams are becoming more and more like real life, just learning and teaching. Ralph Smart said in yesterdays video that lucid dreaming was a clear sign we were in the 5d.

I also had this weird moment where he messaged me back on a YT comment and I lived in surreality for a good 20 minutes. It was surreal getting a reply back from him because his video message aligned with the work I was doing. I felt validated in it even more when I realized it may have been a scammer because it wasn't actually from his account, just a fake account. I am so gullible at night. I need to remember how open, fragile, and sensitive my mind is. This has been something I always struggled with. I really need to transform my life and make good decisions. Though I am doing good work on a whole, I just am neglecting the world around me. Maybe I need to slow down. Make sure I am living consciously about the little things and not just spearhead the big things. The messages I feel from this dream are transition, letting go, loss, powerlessness, regret. I am still analyzing about my exes a lot and trying to understand things from a distant perspective. I am also still analyzing myself in the midst of the rest of this world. But I can't keep doing that. I can only worry about strengthening my own willpower and making good decisions for myself, how I treat people, and my environment. The canine is a powerful tooth, it is how we cut into the world. It is also a point of attraction. A very visible tooth, and is a part of the smile. I may have the feeling that if I don't take care of myself, I will lose essential things to my health, identity, and function. I mean, the fact that I am writing down all of this validates it even more. I also have been feeling a sense of powerlessness against the clock. I am doing so much in the day but the day goes by so quickly and I feel like I am not doing anything. Alot of it is feeling like I can't move much because of my pets and family situation. I feel bound up and limited and frustrated because I can't move freely in time and physically in space because my world is caving in.

My physical world around me and my physical health are are annoyances because I see them as cyclical patterns that distract me from my important work. Eating, sleeping, hygiene, organization -- it is annoying to me because I have to do it all of the time and since I see that I will always have to redo it, it makes me neglect it. I think -- I'd rather do something new and profound today. But then my world closes in on me and falls apart and I get slowed down.

My diet and lack of hydration are obviously affecting my energy levels. I need to exercise more as well. I think getting the momentum of a good routine will be easier than the transition itself.

I feel stressed out and behind in all of my duties. I have too much work to do. But it's the first time it is all the work I want to do that I may be neglecting the fact that I am very much stressed out. I really need to follow the schedule that I gave myself. I feel very off balanced. I don't even breathe deep and fully. I'm still waiting for things to happen amidst my doing everything, because of how I reacted when I got that YT reply. I felt some envy yesterday as well. I saw the company of an old college cohort really thrive. I remember him being so grounded and stable in his work years ago and he is even more grounded and successful today. But I wouldn't want to do the work he is doing and I have to remember that. I really feel like I am in transition. I feel like right now I have to really grow in my current job and ground into the purpose of that. I can't let it go just yet. My journey was my own and only I could have found my grounding through my own path and no his. I wouldn't have felt the purpose with his path, but I really need to ground more deeply NOW.

I think I am also frustrated at the lack of ability to keep promises to myself and am frustrated with my whims of emotions and trying to manage them. Well I can't do it when my surroundings are a mess that's for sure. I need to slow down NOW. And be ok with the timing in my mind.

Maybe all of the unseen unconscious parts of me are pushing forth and crowding out essential parts of my life like my work, health, and hygiene, and I need to focus on that instead. BAM. That's it. Yes, I feel strongly that's the meaning of my dream.

I am feeling very successful in my dream journal efforts, the fact that I am dreaming so much each night, and recalling dreams more easily and having more dream experiences and ability to share and communicate these ideas. I am feeling very grounded in the ability to ground myself haha. OK, gotta focus on my NORMAL life now and all of the little moments I thought were unimportant. They are all equally important.

My essential teeth are being crowded out by my wisdom teeth!!!! Teeth I don't need and aren't even there. Wow, writing things out really helps. I need more focus and nourishment of my front life. Wow my subconscious is smart. The WISDOM teeth is symbolic. It's hidden in the back can hurt you if it's there for too long. But now that I am focused on bringing out that part of myself, I have neglected the front.

The dream websites all say teeth dreams are about insecurity. I agree with that.

Hmm...this dream is telling me to look at everything that needs to be taken care of. This morning is about CLEANING AND ORGANIZING AND NOURISHING. My desktop, my room, my belongings, my body, my gut.

OK today I am going to commit to 2 uncomfortable things. I am going to start my showers cold. I am not going to have sweet dessert drinks even if they are healthy. I am not going to have coffee drinks even if it is uncommon.

I am going to start off my mornings, going straight to the gym while drinking a glass of water. I also am going to sit up straight and take full slow breaths. I will not watch any news not even good news. I need to feed off of my own energy.

I am understanding my aura photo chakra reading more now. My orange chakra was in my root chakra. Perhaps I was mistaking my creativity for grounding. I will have to post it and talk about it.

I definitely don't feel like I'm in the old world anymore. I feel like I am in a different plane where I feel my spirit more pronounced. But I need to honor the physical aspect now.

I see that I have written this need for so long. Treating my body badly, and needing to ground desperately. I also have constant urges to meditate and let messages flow through so I need to create space for that to happen.

Life is so magical. I am so happy right now. Just really need to ground.

I will be gone in the forest again all week working on a big project. It will be a good time to recharge.

[husbandohunter]

Moments of Despair #2 [Genshin Impact/Albedo x Reader]

Synopsis: "The alchemist who relished in his gifts only to fall from grace."

(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).

Diluc’s despair

Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death and psychological horror (correct me if otherwise)

(A/n): I decided to take a slightly different approach this time. Regardless, it’s still killing my heart TwT.

---------------------------------------------------

Out of the many wonders of Teyvat, one thing Albedo loved most was how you were so different from him. 

Difference ties to the unknown, one that must be discovered. He was drawn to you the first time he had laid his eyes upon your form standing at the heights of Mondstadt's cathedral. The Sisters scolded you from below, but all you did was reply with a wink amidst their chaos before soaring into the skies and letting the wind carry your glider. Reckless they said. For him, your recklessness was intriguing. 

As the sun's light blinded his vision, everything he saw seemed like a glass barrier. For the ground was where he thrived and chalk was his core, it became the basis of Albedo's very existence. Even the geo Archon granted him a Vision of the same element to affirm his identity. The earth will forever be attached to his feet as he will keep on his stride until every last truth of Teyvat have all been realized. You, on the other hand, hailed from a place where he couldn't quite reach. What lies beyond this glass ceiling? Albedo found himself gradually holding onto a string of curiosities, a string he could touch but was not able to feel. 

'Interesting,' he thought quietly, while the breeze slip between the fingers of his outstretched hand. 

He was a character of logic, possessing sharp eyes that could pierce through the depths of the most complex formulas and a mind to predict their outcomes-  as long as alchemy was still related. All impossibilities thrown in his way only paved a path for him to become the well known genius he was now. Whether it was alchemy or  investigations with the Knights of Favonius, Albedo never failed to deliver the answers. But despite it all, he always found himself endlessly contemplating over things that were considered intangible. He wonders why you smile when there was nothing to laugh about. How could you tell between the complexities of the human heart? Albedo can't seem to put a finger on it. 

'Why? What drives you? What are you thinking?' 

The Chief Alchemist couldn't resist being fascinated by your unpredictability. It reels him in similar to a fish being baited out of the waters. However, unlike those creatures, Albedo only tightened his grip on the strings as if they were a lifeline, determined to find out what they truly felt like to the touch. 

"I can't really say it's much of an answer," you hummed, clasping both hands behind your back before declaring with a grin, "To put it simply, you just gotta follow your heart."

'Follow your heart...' What does it mean to follow your heart? 

"I'm afraid I still don't understand," he replied in a thoughtful manner. The statement never really resonated with him and it certainly weren't the words his Master taught when he was in the early stages of being created, "But it does suit you very much." 

"Really? But still bring your head with you," a playful laugh escapes and you add while pointing a finger, "At least, it's what everyone tells me these days." 

"Hm," Albedo then affirms with a nod, "I can definitely see why they would tell you that." 

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" 

The days go by and his repetitious march towards the truth remains the same. However, there was never a dull moment when you were at his side. Perhaps that was the reason why Albedo became so attracted to your aura. The way you'd follow around his experiments, eyes so full of enthusiasm at every step of the activity. Sometimes the events can get a little too out of hand in which he needs to step in and save you from getting stuck in slime condensates...constantly. Albedo grew fond of your childlike excitement even when you weren't entirely sure what was going on. He normally distanced himself from socializing as it never sparked his interest. Frankly, he was too much of a genius for mundane conversations. Your presence was rather refreshing in this case. You were an oddball, just like him, and for once the alchemist felt like he didn't need to place that glass barrier between the two worlds. 

"You seem to be in a very good mood today Mister Albedo." 

He was a man of subtle expressions yet anyone could notice the small gleam in his eyes whenever he saw you walking in the hallway. Sucrose often remarked with a giggle after she noticed her teacher holding his documents upside down. But who could blame him? Joy, fun, laughter. He was able to experience those emotions all because of you; his beloved. You were the colour to his canvas and the meaning to his flower. You were a force of nature. Like a warm breeze gracing upon the terrestrial lands, you move him. 

Thump- thump- thump- 

Strings around his world began to weave one whole picture while they also tugged inside his chest. God had finally blown the breath of life into mankind's body, it was only a matter of time before Albedo came to follow his heart too. 

-------- 

"Alright, just one more detail aaaaand done!" 

You gave a small tap using the tip of your pencil and leaned back to examine your artwork. 

Masterpiece! 

On days when Katheryne had no commissions assigned to the guild, Albedo would accompany you to the Whispering Woods and conduct his sketches there instead. He was aware of the discomfort Dragonspine brought as the temperature wasn't ideal for anyone except for him. You eventually learned that your lover was not only intelligently different from the rest but physically too. Albedo, aside from the Cavalry Captain, was mysterious in his own way. He was hard to read yet never came off as intimidating, no one knew of his origins nor they knew how he came to Mondstadt. You wondered why someone like him would have wanted to get involved with your shenanigans. Rosaria often gave warnings regarding the alchemist's 'hidden intentions' in which you'd roll your eyes in response. The Albedo you knew was far from that. He was a big brother to Klee, a man passionate about his work, he was the one golden star among the many silvers in your sky. He was your lover. 

My Albedo. 

Brushing a hand upon the drawing you made of him, you glided down the lines of his cheek before resting your finger on the mark by his neck. You gazed at it with fondness. Truly a masterpiece indeed. 

"You do realize I'm still here?" 

The paper nearly flies out of your grasp and you snatched it back to your chest, "HUH A-ALBEDO, WHEN DID YOU APPEAR???" 

"I was with you the whole time," he states. The corner of his lip tug upward ever so slightly, "You said you wanted to sketch me." 

"A-Ahahaha, so I did," you reply while scratching your head bashfully. 'I thought I was looking at a sculpture!!'  You rushed to cover your face with the sheet. It wasn't that you forgot he was there, rather, you forgot he was still a living and breathing specimen who just witnessed your little serenade. As Lisa had once said, Albedo was easy on the eyes. His graceful features made him seem almost like an oil painting that could only be found in  halls of the most prestigious households. You made sure to capture everything, every detail, every curve just like he had done with your portraits. Only now you noticed the sun already began its descent below the lakeside, dusting the landscape with hints of bright orange as it marked the day's end. If only time could slow down. But duty calls upon your next journey and there was no telling when you'd return. At the very least, a simple portrait would suffice to fill in the temporary gap of his absence. 

"Can I see it?" 

You glanced his direction while keeping the drawing close to your nose, "Are you sure about that? It might not be up to your expectations." 

"I'm sure," Albedo affirms with a straight countenance, "I can already tell you've put a great amount of effort, otherwise you wouldn't have taken this long." 

"Yeeaahh I kinda lost track of time. I guess it's only fair that you get to see the finished product," you say and shoved the drawing in front of him, "Tada! I present to you, my masterpiece!" 

Albedo takes it out of your grasp and you watched the way his eyes expanded upon sight. 

"Well? Whaddya think?" 

Words could not describe the mixture of emotions that erupted within him. Was it distinguishable or abstract? Albedo spent his time pondering between the two answers as he examined the drawing closely. Despite the lines being slightly jagged and the unevenness in the placement of his eyes, he managed to make the shape of the entire image you were trying to convey. Perhaps it was all thanks to his well trained artistic vision which gave him the ability to do so. Or maybe he was simply biased. But there wasn't a shred of doubt that this was indeed your craftsmanship. 

"You even added flowers in the background," he pointed out with amusement. 

"It's the thing you make when using your elemental burst, I couldn't fit your hand in the picture so I decided to put it somewhere empty," you informed, "Out of everything, that one took me the longest." 

"And the rabbits?" 

"They resemble Klee's bombs!" 

He lets out a chuckle, "I see." 

Albedo kept his attention downward until he was mindlessly staring at the paper in hand. This was a memory made to be carried as you moved on to your next journey and it saddens him that he could not accompany you. If only time slowed down. Albedo wanted to hold onto the memory forever, because he knew once he gave it back, he wouldn't be able to see you for an uncertain amount of time. 

"Do you really have to go?" 

His voice was barely above a whisper. Guilt crept into your heart and you gingerly layed your fingers on his gloved ones, bringing down the paper that blocked his face. A pair of teal orbs held a reflection of your image as the sun's rays casted from the side. You returned it with a reassuring grin, hoping to soothe his worries somehow, "I just need to pay a visit to my father since he's been very sick lately. I'll be fine, so don't worry too much okay?" 

Albedo turns over his palm and gave your hand a squeeze, "How long will it take?" 

"I'm not sure but it will be a while. Snezhnaya is pretty far so..." you trailed off, "But my time in Mondstadt, with Klee and with you, I will never forget! I won't even if I tried." 

When you were met with no answer, a breeze came in to fill the melancholic silence. He too will not forget and he would ensure that it was the same for you. Slowly, Albedo brought your hand up, past the center of his heart all the way to cupping his cheek. He allowed himself to indulge in your warmth, tangling the strands of his hair with your fingers while closing his eyes. Sweet flowers. You always carried the smell of sweet flowers. 

"Albedo?" You gawked, "What's the matter?" 

"...There are certain aspects where drawings can't imitate,"  he says, grip tightening ever so slightly, "How I feel against your skin, the shape of my jaw, your warmth radiating with my own. These are the things I want you to remember." 

Breath leaves your slightly parted mouth. It was unfair how straightforward Albedo could be when showing his affection. Doing as he pleases without anyone's approval to the point it would even catch you off guard since he often absorbed himself in the arts of alchemy. But during times when Albedo did choose to express his feelings, you knew they came from a place of pure genuinity. The thought made it hard for you to tear away from him, "Did you ever find out what the strings felt like then?" 

Albedo returns his gaze, long golden lashes hovering them as he smiles softly, "...I have." 

As he began to reveal his stories, the dusk sky continued to flare across the landscape with colours of passion. Red, it was the thread that had led him to you, the same string that weaved him together as a whole. Albedo lays a kiss atop of your pinky, there was a reason why Mondstadtians called him the Chalk Prince. You didn't know the intention behind his sudden affection but he knew. It was a promise, one to ensure that the thread would also have you return safely back into his arms. 

Oh how he hated the colour red. 

"Al...bedo..." 

With speed he never knew he had, Albedo scoops you into his embrace and held you close. How did everything happen so fast? He curses his mind as it proceeds to scan your injuries, drawing a conclusion where he wished to be wrong for once: 

You were beyond help. 

"Ah..haha..." you managed to laugh through bitter tears, "You don't have to say it. I know." 

His breath hitches, trying to make sense of the feeling that was slowly tearing him apart from the inside. It's not real. Of course it wasn't, it couldn't be. What other possible answer was there to explain the numbness stinging his fingers? The reason for his shaking? Everything felt so cold. Your body hardly registered to his to touch, you were losing so much blood. You were losing. He was going to lose you. 

"No," Albedo shakes his head, "We still have time. I'll go find help." 

Please, hold on. 

He forced himself to think. The ruin hunter ran off shortly after it had ambushed you, by now the Knights would eventually noticed and apprehended it on sight. They couldn't be too far. All he needed was to carry you back to safety and everyone can go home. Albedo darted his eyes all over the place, breaths becoming shallower with each passing second. Where? Where to go? Which route was best to not overexert your wounds? Think. Think. Think. Why couldn't he think? 

"A..." You watched him in your helpless state. Every part of you throbbed with pain but it pains you even more to see the renowned genius who stood atop the pedestal of elegance and grace so utterly, undoubtedly lost. This was not the goodbye you wanted, though death already had you tight in their grasps. Not yet. Using the last particle of your strength, you tried to stay alive as long as possible. Just a little bit more time. 

Albedo freezes when a trembling hand extends itself to cup around his cheek. Every single thought he had in mind vanished and was replaced by a loud ring resonating in his ears. Dreadfully, mechanically, he turns his attention to where you lay. 

"Don't cry," you whisper, "I love you, don't cry- okay?" 

Albedo grimaces, shutting his eyes closed as he allows the pent up sadness to flow out of him completely, "I can't," he said in a shaky voice, "Please. Stay." 

"I'm sorry," Your vision blurs and he hugs you even more. Drawing your final breath, you relay your most cherished words through a broken smile, "But no matter w-where I go...I won't for..ge.." 

The moment your hand fell, Albedo finally understood the difference between death and loss. 

It was...suffocating. Having the air trapped in his throat, begging to release yet it hurts to speak. The never ending stabs that pulsed within his veins rushed forth like the scraping  blizzard of Dragonspine until his whole body lost all its senses. The world was shattering. He could no longer feel your weight. He could no longer feel. 

(Y/n). 

Albedo glances at his blood stained fingers where the thread had been severed, wide eyes drowning in sorrow. What a horrible feeling. Was this a warning sent by the gods? For stepping into the boundaries of knowing too much? Ah the curse of knowledge man must bear when eating the temptatious fruit. It was the result of choosing to love you. With life, death is inevitable and with love, it will eventually bring pain. Everything had a price to pay and as an alchemist, Albedo knew that better than anyone. 

"...Meaningless..." 

But he refused to accept it. 

Cradling your corpse, he leans in and places a kiss on your forehead, lips quivering as they lingered for a second too long before gathering the strength to stand back on his feet. Nothing will stop the alchemist from reuniting with you. If the laws wished to take you away from him then he will use everything in his power to fight against those laws. 

"This is not goodbye..." Albedo said to the sleeping girl, "And it will never be." 

When the sun sinks below the plains and the stars lose their light, the sky had been replaced with a palette of darkness. It was time to go home. 

------ 

"Have you all heard about the rumours?" 

A group of knights gather in the corner as they whisper about. Sucrose stops on her tracks and hides behind a wall, clutching the book close to her chest in an attempt to stay hidden. 

"Another criminal disappeared from the dungeons? Crazy..." 

"More like creepy. I was told that place might be haunted by some dead prisoner's ghost. Even the Church is hopping onto this case." 

"Well I hope it doesn't get any worse. So many of us started going on night patrols..." 

Their voices faded out of range as the anemo user backtracks her steps carefully. Several months passed since the news of mysterious kidnappings have been announced to the public. Rumours of their whereabouts swirled around the city and much to her discomfort, Sucrose happened to catch every single one of them. There couldn't possibly be evil spirits lurking in the Favonious Headquarters right? She silently shrieks at the thought, shaking her head furiously to stop her mind from going too deep. No, I have to find him. Without wasting another minute, the anemo user sprinted towards the stairs all the way up to the second floor before stopping directly in front of her teacher's office. Despite the adrenaline that occured at the same time, she made sure to knock. 

No answer. 

"Strange, he told me he would be here today..." Sucrose muttered to herself. But suddenly she heard the sound of objects shifting from the otherside, signaling that there was indeed someone occupying the room. Without realizing, she held her breath out of anticipation. 

"Come in." 

The door creaks as she opens them, giving her enough space to slip between the gap, "Mister Albedo?" 

"You're early today," The Chief Alchemist noted from his desk, "Is there something the matter?" 

"Y-You mean you don't know? There was just another case about a person disappearing from the dungeons," Her tone became more frantic as she rambled to herself, "The kidnapper never leaves a trace and no one knows how they were able to get out. Even when we ask the guards what happened, they can't seem to remember as if...as if someone casted a spell on them!" 

"A spell?" He inquires, "I suppose that could be a possibility." 

"I think so too. I-It's the only explanation that makes sense! I mean...ghosts don't exist after all," Sucrose nervously looks down at her shoes while giving her book a squeeze, "But why? Who could be capable of such advanced techniques? No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to understand their intentions." 

"...Yes. It is a very strange occurrence indeed." 

Noticing her teacher's withdrawn attitude, Sucrose couldn't help but feel flustered at her own behaviour, "Ah my apologies Mister Albedo, I didn't mean to go off track. Have there been any progress on the investigations so far?" 

Albedo briefly glanced at the various documents splayed across his table. His reputation as an incredibly intelligent individual had reached far and wide through Mondstadt. This led to the authorities requesting his assistance regarding the recent matters, despite him specializing in the alchemical field, he was also the Captain of their Investigation Team. Although, Albedo detested partaking in things he deemed irrelevant to his research; 

"I'm afraid I would need more evidence to draw a conclusion." 

"Eh? You still need more?" 

He could not deny that the given authoritative position had provided much benefits to his own accord. 

"My expertise lies in the subject of alchemy," Albedo reasoned and proceeds to intertwine his fingers in front of his mouth, "Humans on the other hand, are very unpredictable in nature. Even the essence of their existence is hard to obtain." 

"Essence of their existence?" Sucrose repeated softly. She wanted to ask what he meant but the blank expression was evident  enough to signal his impatience. At least, that was what she thought, "Nevermind! I have something that might help," taking out a slip from her textbook, she handed it to him, "It's the report Captain Kaeya gave me. He said that the culprit might be a traitor coming from the Knights of Favonius." 

He narrows his eyes. 

"I-I think he might be right! Just think about it, we haven't found anything at all for the past few months but when we do, I sometimes feel like we're just running in circles...oh what if it's becau-" 

"Sucrose." 

"Y-Yes?!" 

Albedo calmly looks at the flustered girl, not realizing how sharp his tone was, "You're overthinking again. Perhaps it's best that you take this day off." 

"But I came here to help," she insisted, "I know it hurts to lose someone you love! Don't you understand that we're all worried about you? And Klee, she..." 

"..." 

"Please Mister Albedo, if there's anything I could do-" 

"No need," he cuts her off once again, "Your stress levels are too high. We can't go any further if you continue to act like this." 

"Oh," her ruby eyes casted to the side, "I understand..." 

"Good. Now, if you would excuse me," Albedo bid her farewell and watched as the door clicked behind her, observing every detail until he was sure that the absolute silence had returned. He picks up Kaeya's document. Such remarkable handwriting. But of course, appearances are only meant to be displayed on the surface for the Captain was a sly man, wearing a mask to shield what lies underneath. Just like his letter, they were full of innuendos and condensed meanings, orchestrated together until the truth spoke loudly to Albedo himself. 

"So, that's what he thinks." 

Perhaps the alchemist should have been a little more discreet. 

-------- 

There was a certain place in Dragonspine that no one dared to enter. But those who have, they never return. 

"Hm, no response. Now as for the next step..." 

And he was the reason why. 

Taking the sword out of the transmutation circle, Albedo turned to the snowy hill nearby and activated his alchemy. A small portion of it dissipates, revealing a trench that went so deep underground that even warmth couldn't outplay the sheer cold. It was the perfect hiding place for the evidence to lay out of sight and an environment where only he could handle. The alchemist tossed the leftover along with the others before exiting quietly, summoning back the ice to bury his victims once again. Another day, another experiment, another stain goes to his title. The path he walked upon was one littered with corpses and the sins he committed. But despite the bones crunching beneath his feet and the weight of the dead hanging on his shoulders, the alchemist was numb to it all. Like an entity floating in space with nothing to hold, he became unable to feel. 

"I'm back," When reaching the center of Starglow Cavern, Albedo puts his hand on the icicle and caressed it's hard cold surface, "Did you sleep well?" 

The girl did not respond. Her eyes were closed and her skin was as young as ever. She was frozen in time. 

"You must have." 

Albedo felt the sword beginning to shake in his grasp as it resonated with his energy. Dust particles emitted from the hilt and slowly made their climb to the side of his arm. Still, Albedo's attention did not waver, "To this day, I've been thinking about what you told me the first time we met." 

"..." 

"Follow your heart. I couldn't understand it at first but after being around your presence, I believe I can finally recognize what that term means." 

He closes his eyes as he envisioned your lively form running across the landscape. Albedo, Albedo! The sound of his name was mixed with your laughter while Klee came into the scene and caught the dandelions with you. A content smile formed on his countenance as he watched from afar, even if it was just a memory, "It's everything. The breakfast we ate together, to the nights spent camping outside, and the silly moments we shared, they bring all these colours that I never knew existed." 

"..." 

Albedo curls his fingers against the ice as he continues to lament, "Perhaps that's why I began noticing the strings around me. The closer I was to answer, the more I felt it was necessary to discover what they are. All this time, you were the answer I was searching for," Moist begins to build up in his eyes but they freeze up once reaching the corners. How cruel. Despite what he went through, he wasn't even granted the liberty to cry, "Because with you, I'm able to feel them." 

He wonders what you would think if you saw him right now. Albedo peers at his reflection casted on the crystalline surface, the frame of his face had been decorated with streaks of purple and red, spreading out like tree branches as they both fought for dominance. The teal coloured orbs you once adored were beginning to transform to a colour that reminded him of his darkest days. This was Albedo's true nature- a monster, a being that wasn't human, the essence in which you never had the chance to see. 

"I know I may not be the same as I was before," he added, "But if that is what it takes to follow your heart, will you let me feel the strings again?" 

Would you still love me the same? 

"..." 

"If so, then please understand my actions," Albedo takes a step back as he held out the sword in front of him. At last, the preparations have finally been completed. He plunges the blade to the ground with full force and the surrounding area begins to shake under the power accumulated through many, intentional sacrifices. To revive the dead was a forbidden art as it came with heavy consequences. If it weren't for Albedo's talent and quick wit, the process would have consumed him long before executing the last stage. He winces, the pain was excruciating. It was hard for him to ignore the sound of his skin cracking below his ears and all the way to his nose as they fall off in the shape of small rock-like chunks. Everything hurt so much that even death sounded like a sweet dream but Albedo couldn't afford to give up. He had already come this far, his hands completely washed with sin and his reputation already broken beyond repair, Albedo had nowhere else to go. This was his last destination. 

"Soon-" he pants between choked breaths. Soon your eyes will open. He could drown in your embrace, one that was warm and not cold. Soon he will be able revive those cherished memories from a frozen past. It was all he could think of right now. Your existence was the reason why a part of him felt whole and your death made him realize how painful it was to tear away those pieces. Albedo refused to let go of those pieces, they had already become a part of him. And if this path ended up tearing him even more, then so be it. 

"I should have stopped you the moment you were born." 

The intruder snapped him awake and he swung around to where they stood. But before Albedo could make out who it was, they lunged past him with incredible speed, kicking the sword off the ground while severing his two arms once and for all. They flew to the side, blood dyed purple trickling from the edges of his joint as he struggled to stay upright. 

"Dains...leif..." 

Dainsleif watched the alchemist fall onto his back as the light around him slowly faded away. He turned his gaze to where the objective was and noticed a girl encased within the ice. The man sighs out of relief when she shows no signs of life, he came just in time, "So this is how it ends." 

Albedo weakly stared at the blonde man. He attempted to say something but the blood caught in his mouth prevented him from that. 

"Save your breath, you won't be having any," Dainsleif remarks in a cold manner and glared at his bloodied form, "The renowned Chief Alchemist of Mondstadt and an important member of Ordo Favonious. Hmph, what an interesting turn of events. Out of everyone, I never thought you were the type to act so foolish." 

Foolish...what a foreign name to be called as. He never heard anyone tell him he was foolish. 

"Truly a pity," With a flick of a wrist, Dainsleif brought his sword to Albedo's neck. It was unbelievable how he had the endurance to go through all that pain while still breathing at this point but what is there to be expected from a monster? "Remember that all actions have consequences." 

The alchemist watched as his life flashed before him, the weight of his sins had finally caught up. He had always seen the world as a platform for his objectives and results were merely a natural cause after attempting many experiments. But death as a consequences was an unbearble realization upon his final moments. He abandoned his title, his pupil and his dearest sister. In the end, he was still unable to fulfill his duty. 

"I just..." Albedo mumbled, his words slurring together, "wanted..." 

As the ashes turn to ashes and dust becomes dust, chalk returns to the earth, forever yearning a place that can never be reached.

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