#like in the videos questions can range from sex to very deep shit like have you thought about death etc

[puppypeter]

just watched a bunch of Cut's Truth or Drink videos and it's making me want to read a ted lasso fic where they do it as a team building exercise (being open and honest and vulnerable all that)

#like a very heart-achey fic though #like in the videos questions can range from sex to very deep shit like have you thought about death etc #i want questions that make them have to be raw #like someone asking Jamie why he reconnected with his dad and went to visit him if he's a piece of shit #or asking Nate why he did what he did or what he experienced at WH with Rupert as a boss #why is Roy just always so fucking angry and why is Ted always acting so fucking positive #(same for Dani tbh) #ted lasso #ted lasso prompt #ted lasso fic #ted lasso ao3 #roy kent #jamie tartt #colin hughes #nathan shelley #dani rojas

[supernovanim]

Neighbours Part 3

Some people found my stuff and read it! And in celebration of that, here’s the third and final part. It’s a bit longer as I was enjoying writing. In personal news, I still have no job but had an interview this morning that went well. And my driving instructor got Covid so now I have to quarantine. Fun times!

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

Summary: Dylan annoys you so you decide to torture him for a bit. Then hot stuff happens. The End.

Pairing: Female Reader x Dylan O’Brien

Warnings: Smut. Voyeurism. Actual boning.

Word count: 2,622

Working from home wasn’t as fun as you’d initially hoped. Once you’d got over the novelty of being able to wear whatever you wanted, and decided pyjamas weren’t helpful to productivity, it was pretty much like normal work just with more video calls. You’d set up your home office in a corner of the living room next to the wide doors to the garden. Well away from potential distractions in the kitchen.

Speaking of which, you’d got some messages from Dylan

I’m bored, can I come over?

No, I’m working

Please? I’m so bored. Let me come over, I promise I won’t distract you.

Liar. You’d be a terrible distraction and you know it. I’m sure you can amuse yourself somehow.

You firmly set your phone aside and turned back to your laptop, losing yourself in the project. It wasn’t exactly scintillating, but you got into the flow of writing and didn’t look back up until almost lunchtime.

Now to grab some food. Maybe with a side dish of hot neighbour watching. You looked down at your outfit – as your AC was still bust you’d gone for very short denim cutoffs and a tiny vest top. You genuinely hadn’t worn it to tease Dylan, but there was no harm in having a little fun.

You sidled into the kitchen half hoping he wouldn’t notice, and headed straight for the fridge. No sooner had you got it open and were reaching for some salad when your phone rang.

“Have you finished work now?” Dylan pleaded

You closed the fridge door and looked up at his house, where he was standing wearing basketball shorts and no shirt, looking deliciously dishevelled.

“Not really” you responded sadly “I’ve got time for lunch, then I’ve got a zoom call, and I’m on a deadline”

“How much time for lunch?” he asked contemplatively, one eyebrow raised

“Not enough time for you to come over. Don’t even tempt me, seriously”

“No, no…that’s not what I was thinking, honest” he explained quickly, running one hand through his hair. “But...but maybe we could have a repeat of earlier? That outfit’s great. You look…great”

“Thanks” you grinned “But I’m only wearing it becau-“

Dammit. You were interrupted by another call on your cell.

“I’m really sorry Dylan, I’ve got to take this call it’s work” you blurted out, switching calls and shooting him an apologetic look through the glass.

“Hey Y/N. Sorry for the late notice but we really need to go over some stuff before the video call”. It was your boss, in a pretty typical bit of awful timing.

“Sure. OK, what’s up?” you replied, hoping you didn’t sound too annoyed.

As you lent back against the fridge and listened to your boss go over a million tiny points that really didn’t need to be discussed right now, you looked back up at where Dylan was at his window, rolling your eyes.

He looked irritated. He lent his forehead against the window in exasperation, visibly exhaling. You knew how he felt – bored, annoyed and turned on. You tried to focus on your boss’s voice to distract you from imagining licking the mole below Dylan’s left ear.

You saw him shift his weight a little and open an eye to look at you. A small smile played across his lips as one of his hands moved towards the waistband of his shorts. You frowned – this really wasn’t the time. But his hand kept moving down, until you could see the outline of his fingers palming against the growing bulge in his shorts. He looked back up at you and winked.

“Shit. Oh, sorry Karen I didn’t mean you” you hastily told your boss, turning away from the window “I…um…knocked something over. I’ll need to clean it up – can I call you back?”

“Don’t be long Y/N – this is important!”

You hung up and turned back to look at Dylan. You were seriously annoyed, but he just looked smug. You saw him reach for his cellphone again and ring you back.

“That was completely unacceptable” you snapped “That was my boss! I can’t believe you tried that”

“Oh come on, Y/N. It was just a little fun…you looked bored”

“Just because you don’t have to work right now doesn’t mean I can be available whenever you want me. It’s fucked up Dylan. I’ve got to go ring my boss back – I don’t want to talk to you any more”

And with that you hung up, turning on your heel and marching out of the kitchen without a backward glance. It felt good, for now at least.

_____

You tortured Dylan for two full days, ignoring his messages and calls.

You walked around your kitchen in tiny outfits, purposefully not looking out the window. When it got dark you walked around in just your favourite underwear, licking icecream from a spoon.

You wore your tightest yoga pants and took your mat out by the small pool, pretty certain you could be seen from Dylan’s deck doing downward dog. The crashing sound of someone walking into a sun lounger confirmed this.

You got a delivery of new sex toys and underwear and opened the package on your kitchen counter, holding the large rabbit vibrator up to inspect it thoughtfully. You don’t think you imagined the muffled “goddammit!” that came from next door.

After two days you thought he’d probably got the message. Besides, the vibrator wasn’t really enough. You threw on your favourite short red summer dress, walked into your kitchen and called him back.

He answered on the first ring “Y/N! I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t happen again, promise”

He appeared at the window looking suitably contrite.

“It better not Dylan. What do you want from me?”

“This isn’t about what I want. It’s about what you want. What would you like me to do? What do you…like?”

“Hmm. Good question. Firstly, I like you with no shirt on”

“Done” he answered quickly, almost dropping the phone in his haste to pull his shirt over his head. You admired the way his lean arm muscles flexed as he reached to catch it.

“Since you asked nicely, I’ll tell you. I like lots of things. I like imagining licking that mole under your left ear”

His hand came up to rub at the spot unconsciously, as his ears turned pink.

“I like being kissed passionately. I like being pressed up against walls and held. I like my neck being sucked on while I grind up against a guy’s thigh.”

He closed his eyes and you heard a low groan

“I like my wrists being pinned above my head. I like my clothes being ripped off. I like my nipples being touched. Um…”

“Go on. Tell me Y/N, tell me what else you like”

You took a deep shaky breath

“I like fingers in me... I like fingers inside me and a mouth on my clit, tasting me. And then I like being fucked really hard – being pressed into mattresses or bent over counters or…”

His eyes shot open and looked at you “God…fuck that sounds so good. Please…please let me do that. Let me come over. I could make you feel so good, the whole neighbourhood would hear you scream my name” his voice was soft and low. “C’mon Y/N, you know you want to”

You ran a hand down the front of your dress slowly, enjoying the way the fabric brushed against your skin. Across the way you saw Dylan’s eyes darken with lust. You felt powerful, reckless, and very, very turned on.

Fuck it. “Alright, but be quick before I change my mind”

You giggled as Dylan scrambled away from the window, almost tripping up in his haste.

“Agh, I’ll only be a minute. Got to put shoes on” he babbled.

“You’ve got 5 minutes to get here before I start without you” you instructed, hanging up the phone and leaving the kitchen.

Just a few minutes later you heard a tap on your front door. Opening it you were confronted with a slightly out of breath Dylan, shirt on inside out.

“That was pretty qui..” you started, but were stopped by his lips meeting yours, backing you up hard against the hallway wall as the door slammed behind him. His body pressed fully against yours as his hands tangled in your hair.

You moaned, parting your lips as he slipped his tongue in between them. You could feel his hard length pressing into your thigh already as he pinned you to the wall. He moved his lips to your neck, sucking gently on a spot just under your ear that made you moan even louder.

“You sound so sexy right now” he murmured against your skin “wonder what other sounds I can get you to make”

His hands moved downwards, lifting your dress and running along your thighs. His long fingers brushed gently against the outside of your underwear, and you felt yourself bucking your hips towards him, desperate for more contact. Slowly he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband and pulled your panties down your legs and off, throwing them to one side.

Kneeling in front of you he lifted your dress and licked his lips slowly, looking up at you.

“You look pretty wet already, Y/N. Been thinking about this?”

You nodded and swallowed hard, too desperate to form full sentences. “Yes. Please”

“Please what?” he smirked

“Please lick me, taste me, fuck me. Anything, just do something please Dylan” you gasped frantically

He smiled and brought his face towards your core, and you felt him delicately lick a stripe across your slit, causing your legs to shake slightly as you lent against the wall.

Placing his hands behind your knees he hooked your legs over his shoulders, positioning himself between them and pressing you up the wall. You ran your hands through his scruffy hair, tugging slightly and eliciting a low sound from him as his mouth returned to pleasuring you. He continued to lick and suck, his tongue quickly moving across your clit as a tingling sensation started to spread across your body. Another moan left your mouth as you felt the warmth pooling in your belly.

Slowly you felt one of his fingers at your entrance, then two, pulsing in and out slowly.

“So, so good. Going to...g-going to” you stuttered, and he sped up his movements, sucking on your clit and twisting his fingers slightly.

“Cum for me Y/N, want your pretty pussy soaking before I fuck you” he growled, the vibrations from his words tipping you over the edge as you came hard, crying out his name, vision blurring.

Carefully he unhooked your legs and stood up, moving his body against yours. You could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you deeply. It turned you on even more, as you felt your arousal on the inside of your thighs.

Desperately you tugged at the hem of his shirt, wanting to touch him, feel him against you. He pulled it over his head and you placed your hands on his chest, feeling the warm skin under the pads of your fingertips.

He continued to kiss your neck as his fingers fiddled with the buttons on the front of your dress, becoming frustrated. With only two buttons undone he let out an exasperated sigh and tore at the fabric instead, popping the buttons off the front and leaving your bra exposed.

“hey, this is my favourite dress” you scolded, but he distracted you by kissing down the swell of your breasts and pushing the fabric of your bra down.

“I’ll make it up to you, promise. Christ, these are lovely” he sighed, as he attached his lips to one nipple and bit softly. It felt so good, you forgot entirely about the dress and tipped your head back, breathing out in satisfaction.

“Dylan...maybe we should take this to the bedroom”

“Yeah, the problem with that is if I’m not inside you within the next 5 minutes, things are going to get very messy”

You gasped at his words and moved your hands underneath his waistband, gripping his length. He hissed as you moved your thumb across the tip.

His eyes closed as he breathed deeply. “See what I mean – careful now”

“Been thinking about this, Dylan?” you looked at him teasingly. “Been thinking about fucking me?”

“God yes, I’ve not stopped thinking about it since that night you walked into your kitchen in that damn sexy underwear. Can’t stop thinking about it. Pretty much been hard ever since”

“Well maybe we should do something about that then”. And you unbuttoned his shorts and pushed them down slightly, his cock springing free.

You continued to palm him with your hand until he grabbed your wrist “t-told you to be careful, you keep going like that I’m definitely going to ruin your dress”

He raised your wrist above your head and pinned it there with one hand, reaching into the pocket of his shorts with the other and removing a small foil package. He ripped it open with his teeth and rolled the condom down his length, positioning himself at your entrance.

As he slid slowly into you his lips met yours, and you both moaned at the feeling. His length filled you up, pressing against all the sensitive spots on your walls. Once he was fully in he stilled, waiting for you to adjust. You shifted slightly against the wall, letting him hold you up. Once you’d got used to him you nodded, bucking your hips to encourage him to move.

Slowly he slid in and out of you, positioning himself to hit just right. You felt weightless, everything centred on the feeling of his movements as he thrust in and out.

You tangled your hand in his hair and brought your mouth to his ear. “Harder, Dyl”

He groaned and moved faster, slamming your back against the wall though you barely felt the pain. You hooked one leg up around his hip, deepening his access. He was hitting that sweet spot inside you and you felt a tingle begin at your toes and your walls start to clench.

“Fuck, you’re so tight” he choked out, his movements starting to become sloppy “I-I’m so close already”

He snaked a hand between your bodies and found your clit with his thumb, rubbing over the sensitive nub. The coil within you started to tighten again and your toes curled. Oh god, it felt so good and you wanted the feeling to go on forever, but as he bit softly at a spot just below your ear you felt yourself come apart

“Yes, yes, there, god don’t stop Dylan, yes!”

As your walls clenched around him you felt him tense and release, filling the condom and crying your name against your neck. Your combined moans filled the small hallway.

Slowly you came back down to earth and you felt him slip out of you, sighing at the feeling of loss. Your hands tangled in his hair again as he pressed a kiss to your damp forehead.

“That was incredible. So much better than drinking beer on my own. Thanks for letting me come over. Eventually”

“My pleasure” you smirked. “Do you want a drink or something now?”

“Oh no, I’m barely getting started. First I’m going to fuck you over your kitchen counter like I’ve been thinking of for the last few days. Then we might make it to the bedroom”

You smiled “I like the sound of that very much”

“Good to hear” he smiled, as he hooked your legs around his waist and picked you up. “Welcome to the neighbourhood”

THE END

If you liked this fic, please reblog - it helps people find it (even if you don’t have many followers! Its an algorithm thing i think, tumblr will put it higher in the tags)

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien fanfic #dylan o'brien smut #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brien fanfiction

[bxdbxdboy]

Character Development

BASICS

Full Name:  Luz Noceda 

Alias:   Apprentice

Nicknames: Bad Boy, (Luz Squad) B.Boy, (herself) Soft Boy, (Cottage) Baby Boy, (Eda) Nice Boy, (Sunny) Sweetheart (Bee)

Sex / Gender:  Female, Nonbinary  (she/her/hers, he/him/his, they/them/theirs ) .

Right or Left:    Left 

Age:   16.

Height:   5'6″.

Eye Color:    dark brown

Hair Color:   Dark brown

Distinguishing Marks:  She has a raven tattoo over her scar she received trying to stop her villain in her timeline. She’s shaved her left eyebrow in the middle to match her friend’s scar.  

Paragraph Of Physical Traits: She’s got a rather strong build which means she has no weak nerd arms and a significant amount of muscle to her arm. Her hair is slicked back like a wave and it’s always been like that it just has always naturally curled and folded over in that direction. When she sleeps it gets wavy or spikey sticking up like a parrot.

FAMILY / RELIGION

Parents / Guardians:     Camilla Noceda 

Siblings: n/a  adopted Brother King.

Marital Status:  Not married. 

Significant Other(s): Bee (Amity-Bee), Blushy (Amity in her timeline)  

Children:   N/A.

Other Relatives:   Many Many cousins, aunts and uncles and cousins on both sides of the family. 

Pets:   Bunga, (familiar, honey badger) Saturn, (familiar magical Owl) Calypso. (palisman Sable)  

Friends:     Cottage, Sunny, Iris, Bee, Lucky, Otter, Puppy, Gus, Willow.

Enemies:     Emperor Belos. 

Ethnicity:     Latina 

Religion:     None. 

Beliefs:    N/A

Superstitions:    black cats, broken mirrors. KARMA!

Languages:   English. Spanish. 

Diction / Accent:    Spanish 

SCHOOL / WORK / HOME

Education:   Public School / High scool leverl/ Hexside

Degree(s):   Not yet. 

Occupation:   Local Power washer for her boiling isles, Food delivery, Potion distributor. 

Own or Rent:    Neither.

Living Space:   Eda’s home in the owl house, Her home in the human realm, and Magic Treehouse bedroom. 

Work Space:    N/A.

Main Mode of Transport:   Skateboarding, Walking, running, or flying. Can drive, will learn, will drive without license. 

PSYCHOLOGY

Fears:      Being replaced / abandoned,  her anger issues, her home getting concurred, loosing her friends, venomous snakes, possessed creatures, dark mimics. spiders, The deepest depths of the Ocean, Slender Man, Siren Head.  

Secrets:    A big softie just doesn’t want many who meet her to realize it. 

IQ:     Was never formally tested,   but she may not be as intellectually gifted as the other Luz’s There’s a big jock mentally mindset to her as a whole.

Eating Habits:  Ravenous Appetite, no matter how much she eats she’s always asking for more. She can put some food away if someone has something they’re saving it’s too late she’s already gotten to it. 

Food Preferences: She enjoys Hot Wings they are her most favorite food besides Pizza coming around at a close second She likes a lot of junk food candy, cookies, chips of all kinds. On occasion she will eat something green though like some lettuce with taco meat or a green pepper. She’ll eat it all everything under the sun and even be adventurous eating a wide margin of other foods. She almost always has hot sauce on her there isn’t a single kind of meal she doesn’t love covered in the hot stuff.  

Sleeping Habits:   She sleeps well, for the most part, when she isn’t attempting to be a night owl she falls asleep relatively quick, even rivaling some of the younger Luz’s with how early she can fall asleep. It’s likely she has sleep apnea as she has tendency to snore so very loud and wakes up during the night in cold sweat, when she stops breathing from night terrors. She will oversleep until almost 2:00 in the afternoon if not monitored.         

Book Preferences:   She’s not a big egg-head book reader like the rest of the squad is the most Bad Boy read in school was “Animal Farm”, and The “Lord of the Flies”, in high school two books that peaked her interest a little bit. She also enjoys listening to Cottage read some horror books it’s the most she’ll really listen rather than use her eyes to read, in fact, one would say she struggles to read efficiently. 

Music Preferences:     Hip Hop, Rap, Dubstep, 80′s music, The Weekend, Various artists. 

Leader or Follower:    She likes to be the boss, but will occasionally follow if she doesn’t have to do much. 

Planner or Spontaneous:  Spontaneous! All of her ideas are never planned out she definitely does not look before she leaps. Her leaps are full of optimism and happy stupidity. The only time she tends to plan is when Bee holds her hand and forces her to take a step back. 

Journal:    Nope

Hobbies:    Dancing,   listening to music,     training,    watching videos / shows,  exercising,  roasting members of the Luz squad, doing dangerous stunts, skateboarding, basketball, baseball, (more so the batting range)  Surfing (Prior), Deep woods exploring, practicing her magic, teaching her familiars, (Saturn and Bunga) Listening to music, Swooning Bee, Video games, Baking Pizza, Breakdancing, Beat Boxing, Collecting Hats, Serenading, Dancing, Snuggling King.

How Do They Relax:  By listening to some calming beats privately, counting to 10, or at any point stroked by Bee she curls and becomes softer. 

What Excites Them:  Competitions,  Wild magic, Magical Creatures, Parkour, Plane Crash videos, Unus Annus, Dogs! Kitties, Being in charge, Buffalo sauce, Food!, Flirting, 

What Stresses Them:  Bossy individuals, Strict Parents, Rude people, Being inside the Emperor Castle, Being the butt of the joke, Tests, Explosives. Needles. 

Pet Peeves:   Vegan food, Whining, losing games, Being accused of being a perv, mocking, people stealing her hat,  Lucky sending her cursed images. 

Prejudices:  high horse, pretends not to be a trouble maker to stay in good graces, struggling to not be hostile towards her doppelgängers, 

Attitudes:   Closed off, Laid back, Aggressive,  or chill and cool depending on who you are. Bad Boy appears to be the “scary” anger issues Luz that is liable to explode at any moment and when she does her face and ears can get as red as Bee’s. You’re either in good graces with her or your not, she’s not always easy to approach unless you have a good sense of humor than she cracks up with you about stupid jokes. 

Obsessions:    Her shoes and hats, her favorite music, lids, BEE

Addictions:    Does addiction to sugary cereal count? because oh my god-!!

Ambitions:     Defeat Belos in her timeline, find a way to get adopted as a sibling by Cottage Core, Have her own identity outside of Cottage and the Luz squad.   Become a powerful witch, Make her mom proud.  

ASTROLOGY / PHISIOLOGY

Birth Date:    November 26,    2005.

Sign:    Sagittarius

Traits Associated with Western Sign:  loyal, smart, assertive, and compassionate personality   

Chinese Zodiac Sign:    The rooster

Traits Associated with Chinese Sign: active, amusing, and popular within a crowd. Roosters are talkative, outspoken, frank, open, honest, and loyal individuals. They like to be the center of attention and always appear attractive and beautiful.

Handwriting:     It’s okay…;      fairly sloppy.

Sexual History:   N/A.

General Health:     She takes pretty good care of herself as far as hygiene and having a good confident attitude.  experiencing some struggles with her adhd, bad posture leaves her with some back pain.

Mental Disabilities:      PTSD,   ADHD,  depression,  

Allergies:   Seasonal.

OBJECTS KEPT IN

Purse / Bag:  Wallet, towel, water bottle, Treehouse keys key chain,

Wallet:     Photo ID, Gold, Cash, rings, Brass knuckle, 

Fridge:     Chalked full of between meal and frozen pizza. 

Medicine Cabinet:  Bandages, Healing Potions, Icey-hot muscle rub,  

Glove Compartment:   Parking tickets, Trespassing tickets, concert tickets. 

Junk Drawer:     fidget spinners, gum, pens, sharpies, stress balls. 

Backpack:   Hats, Snacks, Mints, hair gel, Extra clothes, socks,  pepper spray, hand sanitizer, suntan lotion, hair brush

Desk:   Doodles, Paper Airplanes, Crumpled up Paper.

Clothes Pockets:    Phone, Hot Sauce packets, hand warmers, stress ball.  

OTHER

Halloween Costumes:   A zombie, the cementary is hiring.

Talents:    break dancing, beat boxing, fighting in close quarters, self defense, making Luz squad question their sanity, making jokes, flipping her hat. being annoying. 

Politics: Nah. 

Flaws:   stand offish,  moody,     blunt and direct,   vain,  doesn’t like to be on the losing side indecisive, selfish,

Strengths:  Her optimism, strong sense of personal integrity, avoiding the status quo, free spirited, confidence level, good sense of humor.  

Drugs / Alcohol:    N/A. No who invited? 

Passwords:     The most random shit. 

Prized Possessions:   Her hat passed down by her oldest cousin, her unus annus sweatshirt, a small wolf plushy named Akela 

Time and Place:    Currently, at the Treehouse interviewing new members of the Luz squad. She just got back from a trip and she has jet lag.     

Special Places:      The treehouse, her original house, The owl house, the forest where she goes to meet Blushy, The cliff by the Grom tree, the beach. 

Special Memories:   Meeting Eda and King then running into Cottage and Bee, Becoming friends with Cottage Core learning magic from them, Teasing Belos and Hunter with Cottage Core, Dancing with Bee at her Grom, becoming a polyamorous couple with Bee and Cottage. Being accepted into the Luz Squad. 

Tagged by:    Stole it from @witchesborn​

Tagging:    You,    if you want to do it.

#hcs #the bad boy #;Bad Boy #long post #info dump #about b.boy

[crazy-bi-btch]

Exploring ( Sweet Pea X Reader)

Summary: Sweet Pea and Y/n have a dirty secret that can lead to trouble.

Paring: Sweet Pea X Reader

Warning: NSFW, MA, smutttt like alottt, light BDSM

Word count: 5k

A/N: Okay  so this was a request from a long time ago and i like how it started so I want to make a second part to it! Hope yall like it!

-Present time-

“ We need to talk!” Cheryl grabbed my arm, pulling me into the nearest empty classroom. I flinched as she pressed on the fresh bruise. Her eyes widened, “ Take the jacket off!”

I sneered, “ Damn, Cheryl— don’t think Toni would like that.” She glared at me and I caved in. That's it. Our secret will be brought out by Ms. Cheryl blossom. I told Sweet Pea, not to leave a noticeable mark. But of course, this is Sweat Pea I’m talking about. Shit. I annoyingly took my serpent coat off and Cheryl’s eyes widened and a small gasp left the poor girl.

Now how the hell do I tell her that the serpent that is the most trouble in the gang is secretly fucking me behind everyone’s back.

“ Jesus! Y/n What the actual—” 

“ I can explain.” I rush over to her to coax her from making a big fuss. She was furious. I mean she’s the biggest feminist I know beside Betty and Veronica.

“ Did the ghoulies do this to you! WHO DID THIS! IS THIS THE BOY—” I clamped my hand over her loud ass mouth. 

“Shhh!” She mumbled under my mouth and rolled her eyes crossing her arms. 

“ No one beat me up! It’s this boy—”

“Is he hurting you because I can send some serpents, his way!” She practically stomped, her frown very visible. I sheepishly remembered every single bruise and mark and how they were made.

“ It’s...a sex...thing” I mumbled avoiding her glare, she clearly couldn’t hear me.

“Huh?” Her arms crossed and an annoyed face pressuring me to spill my truth.

“ God dammit Cheryl I’m having kinky sex..” I whisper-shouted, a blush invading me as I heard myself admit it. 

She looked like she was about to faint. “ That-” she pointed wide-eyed, I nodded, pulling the coat over my bruised arms. She turned around, rubbing her temples.

“ With who? And what the hell is wrong with you! It looks so-” I cocked my eyebrow at her

“Painful?” 

“ YES!” She exclaimed concerned, I giggled softly.

“ Don’t kink shame me Cheryl Blossom because I know damn well you and Toni go all 50 shades of gray.” She blushed but was ready to counterattack like always.

“ But I don’t bruise her— visibly!” She pointed out again, I sighed and hugged her.

“ Look, I know you’re concerned… but I’m fine... We have a safeword and it's fun!” I reassured her as she hugged back.

“ Okay… I trust you! But I don’t know about him. Who is he?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows at me. I smirked at her. 

“ That’s a secret I’ll never tell..” I giggled and ran out the classroom, but not before hearing her classic  groan of annoyance.

-48 hours before-

Saturday. It was finally here! Your phone rang, waking you up from your deep slumber.

“Fuckkk…” I groaned, half asleep as I blindly looked for my annoying phone.” Hello.”

“Hey.” My stomach flipped and my eyes shot open. Sweet Pea.

“ Hey.” I smiled softly as his voice gave me the energy and brightness enough for the day. Then I realized, today is our ‘appointment’.

“ Just decided to call you and let you know I’m excited for today.” The smirk in his voice is practically oozing. I rolled my eyes playfully.

“ Oh really? What is so special today?” I acted coy with a hint of playfulness, his demeanor fell as his voice cracked. 

“ Don’t play with me y/n.” He hissed softly into the phone, it sent a shock straight to my core. I bit my lip. 

“ Sorry Pea...I can’t meet with you today. I have another meeting with someone else tonight.” I teased, laying back into my pillows like a cliche teenage girl in a teen-drama movie.

He groaned, clearly angry, “ Who the fuck….— In a minute Fangs! I swear to god y/n if your fucking someone else.”

“ Yeah I am….and he takes very good care of me… he’s my daddy..” I edged him even more, the game suddenly starting now. The small sigh and chuckle that he released gave my heart a kick. He was jealous.

“ He sure does huh?” He teased  his voice suddenly deeper and lower. “ I have a surprise for you tonight. More like a gift.” Then the background noise became more noticeable.

“ Oh really?” I questioned—suddenly curious,  he then changed the subject signaling Fangs and the others were around.

“ Yes, Doug, 6:00pm I know! You and your stupid stash. See you then.” Sweet Pea gloated with laughs of the boys echoing through,” You better pay up a little more than last time.” The last part was definitely for me. Then he hung up. 

I squealed in excitement as I tossed and turned in bed. It sucked being friends with benefits, in secret may I add. It’s extremely hard and exhausting, but we knew that. We both found that in sex we weren’t getting what we wanted. We weren’t fulfilled. So on a drunk night as we were the last up in the trailer as everyone else was passed out drunk. We played a stupid game.

Flashback

“ Never have I ever faked an orgasm.” Sweet Pea slurred, laughing at nothing, barely able to sit still. 

“ Shhh! Be quiet! Umm… Yes I have!” I stifled a giggle as my finger fell from the rest that were propped up.

“Ohh I want to know!” He teased taking another swing of his beer. I pretended to zip my mouth and throw the key making us laugh.

“ My turn, Never have I ever wanted to try something new in bed.” I giggled like a 13 year old as I slurred it out. Pea shrugged and put his finger down. I exaggerated a gasp pointing at his finger.

“ Sweet Pea is kinky!” I laughed but shushed myself.(Very drunk may I add) “ Me too!” I exclaimed. And we both fell silent as we both stared at our 3 fingers remaining up.

“Never Have I ever wanted to be tied up during sex.” His voice serious and dark. And I was suddenly quiet. 2 fingers were left.

“ Never have I ever wanted her to call me daddy.” I sighed out, praying for him to drop a finger. If not then that would be embarrassing. But his finger fell.

“Never Have I ever wanted to be choked.” His signature smirk came out as he realized his power over me now. I was left with one finger. I gulped.

“ Never Have I ever wanted to fuck my bestfriend.” I croaked out, both of our expressions falling. His finger fell. “ We’re tied.” I sighed as I stared at his lips. He gulped and put his hand down, ending the game. Our eyes say everything. We wanted this….bad. 

In an instant we both crawled toward each other meeting in a fiery kiss, breaking the innocent friendship we had and entering a whole new dimension. 

End flashback

We snuck around, doing all of our deepest fantasies. We were exploring our sexual fantasies. BDSM, nothing bad with that right? Except that it was ruining our friendships around us. We were lying to them. Making them believe we have suddenly become enemies. That we couldn’t stand each other in public, at times hurting each other's feelings.

My trailer was farther to the sides from our friends trailer which made it easy for Sweet Pea to come to me. Plus, I had to put soundproof padding in my trailer room, my excuse for when friends came over. “I’m working on my singing career from home.” They believed it. 

Boys were too afraid to hurt me, or not be hard enough. But Sweet Pea… He lived for that. We fit perfectly. 

I finally decided all that overthinking and reminiscing was not gonna keep me as excited. Unless, I looked for the old iphone in my drawer where we kept our...videos. We filmed moments but only on this old phone and it NEVER leaves my drawer. We vowed it was for us but mostly for me when things happen and we can’t meet up.

I logged into it, opening the photos and started looking through all the different videos. One was that one time on Valentine’s day when he got me a new toy. It was cute and simple, but the ribbon that tied the box was long enough for my wrist to tied together also. That night was rough, safeword was used once because he didn’t let me come for the 4th time! The way he degraded and fucked my on camera seemed to always trigger those vivid memories for moments like these.

Just as I was about to pull my pants down and ease my ache, my phone dang—cutting my mood. 

SP: Red or Blue?

That was a strange message.

Y/n: Red? Why

SP: you’ll find out ;)

Okay now this was gonna kill me! 

I went on with my day cleaning the trailer, taking a shower and shaving, taking my birth control (Sweet pea pays for it and also plan B for just-in-case moments) and finishing any homework I know I will not do tomorrow because I will be too sore to do. It was 4pm and I was feeling bored out of my mind. Usually he comes earlier so we can actually do friend stuff like hang out and watch a movie but today was different. I decided to change into a cute red lace set since he did ask what color I wanted. I did light makeup and curled my hair. 

“ Damn, I look fuckable ass fuck.” I commented as I saw my reflection. Some light green on my thighs from the previous week slowly fading. A quick idea popped into my head.It would piss him off, but it would be good to let him know. I took my phone and texted.

Y/n: Wyd?

SP: Doing some serpent stuff, missing me already?

I scoffed at his cocking response.

Y/N: Maybe… Anyone around you??

SP: No...I’m in the truck waiting for them? Why?

 I jumped up in excitement and positioned myself by the mirror in the perfect angle to get a glance at everything pretty much. He’s gonna be furious… but I won’t mind. I made sure to send them quickly. Sitting down in anticipation.

Sweet Pea stared at his phone after not getting a response, it made him a little suspicious and antsy for the boys to hurry from the daily drop off service. But when he saw two pictures pop out, his vein by his temple was practically about to pop. She knew the risks. What if he wasn’t alone? They would have seen! And bam no more sex. He locked his phone and honked 4 times and the boys came running out ready to leave.

“ Yoooo Sweet’s what's the rush!” Fangs and the other laughed, he sternly glared at them.

“ I got shit to handle so can we go!” Fangs nodded but stifled a laugh as they drove away.

He didn’t respond! What the hell. He may be too busy. I decided to wear an oversized shirt and walk to the living room where I watched Friends pass the time. Then my phone rang. It was Sweet Pea.

SP: You're in trouble.

My heart raced, I got up and ran to the room making sure to get everything out, lube, handcuffs, ribbon. I sat on the bed leg shaking slightly. Then I heard the familiar steps that led up to my trailer door. His spare key twisted into the lock. Just in time. The butterflies in my stomach flutter all the way down to my thighs and core. He came in taking his boots and coat off. His footsteps coming towards the room. And I froze putting the best puppy eye dog eyes that would not save me. His face was serious, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. 

“ Hi.” I sheepishly spoke. I took a deep breath.

“ You know what you did was risky, right?” He barked, I got up making my way towards him, but he backed up slightly. 

“ I’m sorry.. I thought since you said you were alone...I missed you.” I crossed my arms defeated and looked down at the floor. Maybe what I did was out of line. Fuck this isn’t a relationship where you can send nudes Y/n! These were dick appointments, that's it!

I sighed defeated, “ If you wanna reschedule that’s fine… It was out of line—” I turned away from him only to be yanked up against him.

 His hot breath fanning against mine, a bruising hold on both my arms.” Why would I pass up the opportunity to punish you.” Just like that, I was putty in his hands. Like always. He made sure to forcefully take the oversized shirt off throwing it somewhere, to reveal what the photos told him. He watched as I stood flustered, shocked, and blush red. His hot gaze is enough to get me going. He sat at the edge of my bed and pulled out a small box from his leather jacket. It was black. He signed for me to get closer so I did. I towered over him slightly as he handed the box a smirk on his face. I eyed the box suspiciously.

“ Open it.” He urged so I did. My mouth fell open slightly. It was a red butt plug. What the fuck. I looked at him dead in the eyes.

“ I know you said you weren’t ready for anal...but I thought this would help ease us in. Literally.” he chuckled darkly. I was speechless. It was hot, and uncomfortable to think that it would end up...there. I sighed shakily. He caught on to my nervousness.

“ Remember at any time you can stop me.” He reassured, making me smile softly. Besides the sex, he always was my friend never pushing me to do anything I didn’t want. I nodded and took it and placed it by the nightstand where the lube and other stuff were. I walked back easing my way to straddle his lap and take his leather jacket off. Our gaze is soft and friendly for now.

“ I’m sorry again you know.” I sighed my hands working on any knots in his shoulders, his eyes fluttered shut as he relaxed under her. Deep down Sweet pea would be a sub for her if it meant it started with massages. 

“ It's fine.” He sighed, seeing him vulnerable for a brief moment made me ache and even more wet than I was. I pushed my body fully up against his, arms draping around his neck. His eye opened to meet my dark ones. My hips grounded down on him, “ I’m ready.” I sighed, that was enough for Pea to grab her hips forcefully gripping them down to make her feel the hard-on she caused. 

“ You made me hard in the fucking truck,” He made one of his arm free to hold her chin forcefully to make her stare at him while he spoke. Y/N yelled softly as she tried to keep her eyes from rolling back as he rutted his hips towards her. “ I couldn’t get out of the truck, I had to drop them off.” 

“ That was the plan daddy.” I moaned, making him growl in frustration. He pushed me off him, hand in my hair as he yanked me to the mirror where I took the pictures. It was a long full body mirror by my bed. His body flush against my back, one arm still in my hair and the other racking his ringed up fingers against my skin. 

“ You’re gonna look at yourself, and learn why you don’t tease me.” His lips on my neck as his finger roughly yanks the lace bra cup down, making me squeal. The electric feeling as his cold finger massaged my breast made me dizzy.

“ Pea…” I sighed rolling my eyes back, head limp against his shoulder. His grip on my hair wakes me from my bliss.

“ Look!” He barked, making my goosebumps jump out, his neck went back to work. His arm slowly going back but skimming down to where I needed him the most. I knew he wasn’t going to give it to me that easy. “ Please...Daddy” I whimpered as he barely grazed the skin on my thighs. He bit harder on my neck as he pushed his leg between my thighs, hand dipping into my core. I let out a shaky gasp as he went straight for my clit.

“Fuck.” I gasped watching as his fingers teasingly moved circles around it. My hand reached to cover his for support, for once he didn’t intervene.  And the other reached to his hard on that was covered but prominent against me. Pea couldn’t help but let her touch him, he watched as her hooded eyes watched as he slowly touched her. But the moment her hand gripped his hand he yanked it away and tsked her. He walked away from her taking his shirt off.

I stood stunned and breathless, the ache only growing by the minute. I turned around and followed him by removing the rest of the bra. And pried at his muscular back. Kissing it softly wrapping my arms around him.

“ You just don’t know when to keep your hands to yourself now.” The ribbon in his hands as he turned around. Fuck. With one shove I was on the bed with Pea crawling up to tie my wrists together above my head. 

“ C’mon Pea…” I whined as my hips bucked towards him for any friction, fuck was it painful. He smirked down at me.

“ You  know that's not how it works right?” I groaned in annoyance. His face came down close to hers as his hands wrapped around her thighs and as pulling her flush against him again. 

“ Pea kiss me or so help me—” His mouth was instantly on mine, nothing fluff about it. open , hot kisses as my hips wildly looked for him. His hand suddenly smacked my ass leaving a deep red print.

“ Shit-” I cried against him, his mouth moving against my jaw, his tongue leaving a hot trail down to the valley of my bare breasts. I resisted against the restraints as his ringed fingers and mouth attacked my breast.

“ Your squirming even before I touch you, you're so needy.” He laughed against my skin. I blushed madly arching my back towards him.” Answer.” He hissed, as his hand rubbed hard and rough circles against my clit. I bit my lip trying to talk.

“ Yes..ugh...Daddy..fuckkk” I moaned loudly as his pattern quickened and his finger flicked my nipple. The overstimulation nearly brought me to the edge, he watched me from above how breathlessly I squirmed, threw my head back and clamped my thighs around him. Just as I felt the brink, he pulled away. I whimpered out in pain, feeling empty again. Sweet Pea made sure to leave any mark all over her body avoiding her whimpers and cries for his actions. His fingers plunging into her abruptly, at a vicious pace that made her scream. He made sure to stare right at her as she exchanged glances to his actions and his wicked smile. “ You want hard, rough? That’s what you want right?” he spat gritting his teeth as he felt her wall clench and contract against his fingers.

“ Oh my goddd…. YES!” I screamed staring deep into his evil eyes, “ Daddy harder please!” My head thrashing back as I felt my legs convulse and shake. I wanted to come so bad, and the wet sounds that came out of me were not helping. My fingers were placed on the covers as they remain tied up above me. “ Not yet.” He whispered softly against the shell of my ear as he stopped again. I shivered as my body tried to recover from another withdrawal, eyes shut in pain as my clit throbbed from lack of release.” Please….Please.” Tears at the brim of my eyes, searching into his for a little bit of mercy. He only ignored me and turned me around chest into the mattress and ass up. The lube coming in contact with my asshole sending a jolt up my spine. At this point anything that would give me some pleasure was acceptable. Pea made sure to adjust my wrist and tie them again against my back, and my face on the mattress. He then kissed my head as the tip of the plug made contact with me. I hissed softly as he slowly pushed it in. Surprisingly, It wasn’t as bad as I thought. 

I sighed as I felt somewhat full as it sat in me. “ Damn baby.” He mumbled, I could practically picture his face. All flustered and vulnerable at her position and gleaming core. 

Not long after his hands held my tied arms in a tight grip as he grinned against me.” mhm.’” one hand constantly smacking my ass till my buttcheek felt numb. I really won’t be able to sit tomorrow. “ You're such a slut begging for me… for this… Can’t even wait till I get home.” He seethed as his rough jeans rubbed perfectly against me and the plug. 

I moaned loudly, “ Pea fuck me please! Anything I promise you anything but fuck me please!” I yelled in frustration as I tried wiggling my hips to get any extra friction. He grunted in defeat and practically sighed in relief as I heard his belt unbuckled and the bed suddenly becoming light behind me. I tried looking around to see him, but only his hand made sure to push me further into the mattress. “ You wanted this, so take it!” He roughly shoved himself into me with no warning, a loud gasp ripping through me followed by a choked moan. His size always felt like the first time, painful and blissful at the same time. “ FUCK!” Pea moaned as he steadied his hips as he made sure to feel that moment, being deep in her, ass up, red ribbon around her wrists like a present, shit it was perfect. He pulled out and back in bruisingly fast, hands back on her arms.

“ Shit shit shit!” I screamed out my eyes shut as he hit the right spot constantly but grazed the plug as he pulled out.

“ You look….so gorgeous right now fuck.” He grunted as Pea focused on not coming anytime soon but rather feeling every inch tighten around him. Just for him. Only making his grip on her arms terribly harder. The pain and pleasure as he bruisingly fucked her from behind only made her squeeze her eyes shut, her mouth wide as she felt the familiar knot about to explode. 

“ I’m going to cum! Holy shit please Pea let me cum pleaseee!” I begged as Pea made sure to rub hard and fast fingers against her clit. 

“ Come on baby, take it, squirt for me baby.” The profanities and the way his voice and body worked around her did just what he asked.

“ Shit shit shit!” I cried out as my legs shook and fluid leaked out around Pea’s finger.

“Fuck.” He growled and made sure to keep fucking her through her orgams, nearing her to the next one. 

I screeched softly and huffed as he kept his bruising pace, “ Pea oh my gawd Don’t stop! Fuck me!” Sweet Pea practically came then and their but pulled out to control himself. 

“ No, NO!” I cried as my wrist withered to pull him back. Pea shakily sighed, stroking himself softly. He watched as she squirmed and whimpered trying to be set loose. He untied her wrist sending a buzzing feeling of excitement through her as she propped herself only for a second. Pea made sure to pull her around by her hair. “ You really are prettier all tied up, huh.” He teased. 

I widened my eyes, “ No! Not again!” I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss and flush against my hot skin. The feeling of his skin against her finger pads was heavenly. It was rare to be able to touch him, and when he let her, she loved it. Her mouth on his hungrily as her hips bucked against his hard on. Pea grunted against her mouth, his hands moving from her breast where he quickly pulled on her red nipples and down to her bruised hips. “ You won’t be able to walk for a week baby girl.” He whispered as he teasingly rubbed against my swollen nerve. A weak moan only for a response. He slipped in easily and then faster, digging his mouth onto my neck as I scratched his shoulders. “ Ohhh, Yes….Mmmm” I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist as he pounded so hard into me, practically into the mattress. 

Pea made sure to come up to see her face as she practically cried at her second painful release. Seeing her silently watch in awe as her eyes rolled back, it brought him to the edge.

“ Come on cum with me, Come on!” Pea yelled his chin forcing her to look at his furious face, only adding to her orgasm. Pea made sure to keep his pace as she yelled his name and tears ripped through her as she threw her head back. As she saw white, Pea went balls deep and stayed in as he came in her, his groans and moans muffled into her neck. She made sure that with the little bit of energy to wrap her fingers into his damp hair, easing him down from his own high. Pea made sure to pin her arms away from him, scaring her slightly at his abrupt move.

“ I’m not done with you.” He made his way down to her core, instantly going to her almost numb and in pain clit. 

I hissed as his lips and tongue wrapped around me. I didn’t have the strength to cum again, I almost wanted to call the safe word just for my sake to rest but the way Sweet Pea looked up at her, in between her thighs. Pea knew exactly how to make her cum and he wanted to see her cum underneath him all over again. “ Shit...Fuck.” My hands grabbed handfuls of the sheets as I rocked my hips against his hot mouth and tongue. 

To make matters worse, he purposely groaned and hummed against me, I never felt like cuming so fast in the times being with Pea. Each time he knew her better enough to get her on edge in seconds. His hand made sure to hold down painfully hard on her hips as she chanted his name.

“ Yes...Yes yes yes!” I back arched and watched in awe as his tongue did wonders, followed by his thumb that flicked and rubbed so hard I lost track of time. Pain ripped through my abdomen to my core, ready for a painful orgasm. It was so much. “ Pea! I can’t I-” I cried and sure enough my body cracked under him, fluid squirting out as tears fell out and high pitched moans echoed into the room. Pea pulled himself up to watch her tears stained cheeks, suddenly nervous it was too much. “Hey, Are you okay?” His soft voice made me crane my neck back to see his worried face, with a wet face may I add. I smiled weakly and wiped his cheek with my thumb. “ You are unbelievable Sweet Pea.” He smirked laying next to her as they both sighed. 

I was exhausted not wanting to move or speak. Just stare at the ceiling and acknowledge how great her body felt, for now. 

“ Wait I have to take something—” His hand pulling my ass to the side, “ Relax, I don’t wanna hurt you.” I scoffed but was cut short by the feeling of the plug coming out. I hissed softly and turned back around on my back.

“ I should get you a bath running before I leave.” Pea said as he kissed my semi wet cheek and got up to find his clothes. I watched as he pulled on his underwear and jeans and disappeared into the bathroom. I was smiling. At him. Here I was catching feelings over something we told ourselves was nothing serious. I pushed myself up to distract myself only to be extremely sore. I tried propping myself up to walk to the bathroom only to fall on my knees in pain. He really fucked me till I couldn't walk. I burst out laughing making Sweet Pea walk back into the room extremely confused. 

“ Come help me up weirdo!” He went over to pick her up but just ended up carrying her bridal style. He laughed as she groaned but laughed also. 

This was nice, their company and well the sex also. Sweet knew that it was temporary and he reminded himself that everyday. Deep down he was a romantic, and he knew his soulmate was out there. But for now he just wanted to explore himself a little more and who else to help than his best friend. He hated leaving her after, something in him told him to stay, but he was enough of a gentleman to know that staying would only send mixed signals and ruin everything. So he stuck to the plan.

“ Well, I’m gonna head out, and I’m sorry if I went overboard—” Pea flinched as he saw the bruises show up around my arms and legs, the water instantly healing some pain. I sighed sinking deeper into the tub. Pea kneeled next to me, waiting for some goodbye gesture. I looked at him smiling, “ It was great, plus I'll be fine...but,” I held his hand that rested on the side of the tub. “ Can you stay...to hang out?” I watched his reaction change from content to flustered. It’s insane that friendship intimacy was weird to us but seeing each other naked wasn’t. 

He coughed and looked at his clock, “ I don’t know—”

I patted his hand, “ Pea it’s fine, it was just and offer.” I casually played it off, waiting for his response even though it did hurt to see him turn me down. He stood up and sighed in defeat. “ How about this. I have to do some stuff to do with fangs for a night delivery, and if everything goes smoothly...I’ll crash with you.” He looked down at my surprised face. He chuckled at my silent response.

 “ Oh- Yeah sure! Sounds good.” I cooly said somehow suddenly interested in the bath water. 

“ Alright see you later!” I said before leaving entirely with the sound of the door closing, I sat in the water somehow happy but nervous that he easily accepted my offer. I giggled to myself, but was cut short by my sore body.

“ Fuck, this is more painful than my Serpent initiation trial.” I mumbled softly. 

Somehow I managed to get out of the bath, with wobbly legs, and into my soft pj pants and tank top. It was 8 pm, my eyes sleepy and my body tired. I laid in the wrinkled up bed, forgetting that someone would be coming back. 

#riverdale smut #riverdale southside #riverdale #sweat pea x reader #Cheryl bombshell #smut #southside serpents #request #a03 tags #sweet pea smut

[anothers-trash-my-treasure]

The Mistress.

Summary: Combining Kinktober days 25 (Caught getting off) and 26 (overstimulation) with Fictober day 27 “Give me that.”. Very very very heavily inspired by @edteche2 ‘s “The Master” series so please please please go read those if you haven’t already, they are phenomenal! 

I’ve titled it The Mistress because the original definition of “Mistress” is female expert. I know usually mistress is used as a term for another woman but just forget that for a second, okay? Okay. 

Pairing: Josh Washington / Reader

Rating/Warnings: ohhhh smutty asf baby. Use of sex toys. 

Words: 2000

Tag List. @edteche2 @xmxisxforxmaybe @diasimar @txmel @the-almond-dinger @gloriousdarkangelsworld @yousaycoke-isaycaine

Ever since Josh introduced his bundle of toys into your sex life, to say things have gotten interesting was an understatement. The amount of times he came over to your place unannounced, using his key to get in and walking in on you in some pretty compromising situations was honestly ridiculous. It was like he knew when you were using them. And every time he caught you with them, he’d always just sit back and watch. He liked knowing he introduced you to this new world of pleasure. Whereas some guys may have been intimidated by the toys, afraid that they did a better job than they would, he was confident in his ability to make you scream louder than the silicon and batteries could.

And you knew it too. As soon as he made his presence known, your body craved him. It drove you crazy. He’d just sit there, next to you on the bed. Whispering dirty encouragement in your ear.

“C’mon princess. Let me see how good you can make yourself feel.”

“You can have me later baby, just let me watch you. Look so pretty like this.”  

“I know you’re close, be a good girl and cum for me.”

It was truly never a dull moment with Josh. And you wouldn’t have it any other way. But what bothered you, only a little, was how you never walked in on him taking any time for himself. It made you feel a little bad. Were you a bad girlfriend for taking matters into your own hand from time to time? You knew some girls who thought masturbating was a form of cheating. You knew Josh didn’t mind, but part of you wondered if it did bother him a little. And if he wasn’t taking matters into his own hand, were you denying him pleasure by taking care of yourself? 

It got to the point where you were determined to catch him red handed. You wanted to see him, flushed and sweaty under his own hand. Imagining it was one thing, you wanted to see it. He always got so hot and bothered seeing you that way, you wanted to be on the other side of it. But every time you went over, unannounced, he was always just playing video games or cleaning up after making lunch, or something just so mundane and anti-climatic. You were starting to lose hope. Until...

You had initially gone over to surprise him with his favorite dessert you had gotten while out on a ‘girls night’ dinner with some friends. You unlocked his apartment door and let yourself in, expecting to see his head of curls sitting in front of the TV, but he wasn’t there. 

“Josh?” you called out,  “You home?” 

You placed the dessert in the fridge and stood, listening carefully for maybe the sound of the shower running or footsteps coming down the hallway. But the only thing you heard was a soft moan. It was so quiet that at first, you thought you had imagined it. But then a second one sounded, much louder, and you felt your entire body flush with heat. 

Was this it? 

You crept down the hallway, as quietly as you could, down to his room, where the door was opened only a crack. You peaked your head in, pushing the door open just a fraction more to see into the room better. And boy, was the sight even better than you thought it’d be. 

There he was, in all his glory, naked, chest glistening with sweat, accenting his strained muscles. Your eyes travelled down his body, seeing his legs spread open while he worked The Blue Lagoon over his cock over and over. His movements are languid, not too fast or too slow. His hips roll up into the toy as his hand twists the sleeve on each stroke. His eyebrows draw in, a low whining moan leaving his lips. The scene before you is so hot, your thighs squeeze instinctively at the sight, trying to provide yourself some pleasure. 

His eyes flutter open and his body freezes for a second when he sees you.

“Jesus-” he startles, head rolling back on a sigh when he realizes it’s just you, “Scared the shit out of me.”

He goes to move his hand away from himself, obviously assuming that since you’re here he gets to fuck you instead of the sleeve. You shake your head, entering the room fully and walking over to him.

“Wait, don’t stop.”

He looks at you, eyebrows raised in a silent question. 

“Let me watch for a bit.” 

His face flickers through a range of emotions; confusion, surprise, arousal and then landing on smug. He smirks at you, hand moving back to the toy and continuing his previous movements.

“Yeah, I bet you like seeing me like this.” he taunts, cocky and Josh-like in every sense of the word, “Perv.” 

The desire to knock the smirk right off his face bubbles up inside of you and smile sweetly back at him, a plan forming quickly in your mind.

“You just look so good like this, baby.” you coo, settling yourself down next to him on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows and letting your fingers dance over his biceps, “How could I not wanna watch?”

He hums, eyes slipping shut as he starts to lose himself in the pleasure again.

“Tell me how it feels.” you say softly, carefully taking control of the situation without him noticing. 

“Feels good.” he moans, biting down on his bottom lip as his eyes find yours again, “Not as good as you though.” 

You hum thoughtfully, placing a kiss on his shoulder, “You can have me later,” you say, stealing his lines, “Make yourself feel good for me, yeah?” 

He groans, head falling back and eyes slipping shut again. You watch him, drinking in every twitch of his muscles and every moan that leaves his lips. His cheeks are flushed red, hair sweaty at his temples and panting at the tightness around his cock. He’s gorgeous like this. You let him work himself over for a bit, watching as his movements get faster as he approaches climax.

“You gettin’ close baby?” you ask, low and sultry in his ear.

“Yeah,” he breathes, breath hitching when you nibble on his earlobe. His hips twitch and his breath stutters and you know he’ll be done for if you don’t stop him. You hold your hand out, stopping him and making a ‘give me’ motion.

“Give me that.” 

His movements stop and he looks at you, wide eyes and panting, “What?” his voice is high with disbelief. 

“Give me it.” you repeat, eyebrows raised expectantly, “I’m not done with you yet.” 

You can see how much it pains him to remove himself from the sleeve. His cock red angry and beautiful. He watches you intently as he hands the toy over, pupils blown wide, his breathing starting to settle. 

“Good boy,” you purr, capturing his lips for the first time in a sweet kiss. When you pull away he tries to follow, you stop him with a hand to his chest and smile. You have him right where you want him. 

“Just lay back,” you encourage, “I got you, babe.” 

You start kissing down his body. Starting first at his jaw, working your way down his neck and chest. You stop at the juncture between his shoulder and neck, sucking a mark there. You move further down, biting at one of his nipples briefly, enjoying the soft moan he lets out at the feeling. You smile against his skin, continuing your ministrations until you reach the base of his cock. 

You glance up at him from your spot between his legs. He’s barely keeping it together, his eyes bounce back and forth from your eyes to your lips, which are just barely brushing against the tip of him. He’s anticipating your every move, desperate to finish. 

You lick a broad stripe up his length, swirling your tongue around the tip before taking him in deep. Your quick movements punch a groan out of his throat and he arches his hips into your wet heat. You know by the desperate twinge in his voice that it won’t take long to get him back on the edge. You work him carefully, hollowing your cheeks and sucking as you slowly pull your mouth back. 

“Oh, baby,” he whines, hand tangling in your hair, “‘m gonna cum.” 

You pull off of him, giggling at the face of betrayal he makes at you when you crawl back up his body, “Not so fun, is it?” You tease.

“Babe-” He tries.

 “You do this to me all the time, it’s only fair that I repay the favor.”

“No, baby please,” he grips your arms tightly, pulling your closer and kissing you hard, “I’ve already edged myself like three times, I need to finish.” 

The new information spreads a wave of heat through you, “Oh,” you say, absolutely delighted, “No wonder you’re so sensitive.” 

Your finger trails up his length and you watch with wonder as it twitches and flexes along with a desperate whine from his lips, proving your point brilliantly. 

“You need it, huh?” You ask, keeping your touch feather light.

His hips flex into your touch, trying to get more friction than you’re able to give him at the moment. He whines in response and you know you have to take pity on him. He just looks way too good like this to torture him any further.

“How do you want to finish?” 

“In your mouth.” he answers immediately, eyes locked on your lips, still glistening from your previous ministrations on him.

You place a kiss on him lips, agreeing to the terms before you resume your position between his thighs. You don’t prolong the experience, taking him deep into your mouth and watching with alive eyes as he arches under your mouth.

“Oh, Yesss,” he groans, his hand finding its place in your hair again.  You let him guide your movements, letting him show you exactly what he needs. He’s gasping and you can feel the desperation radiating off of him in waves. He needs this so bad. And you know just what to do to help him along.

You pull back, just barely scraping your teeth on the upstroke before taking a breath and taking him deep into your throat. You hold him there, letting him feel your throat work around him as you choke on it.

“Fuck!” he shouts, spilling down your throat. You pull back just a bit, letting him fuck your throat through his orgasm, working hard to swallow everything he gives you. 

When he pulls you off his cock he’s breathing hard and you sit back to take him in. His softening dick glistening with your spit, cum dripping off the top of it, remnants of what you missed. You can see the muscles in his thigh quiver slightly and you feel a sense of pride roll through you. The amount of times he’d made you quiver like that, it was about time you seen it happen for yourself. 

“Jesus Christ,” he sighs, pulling you close to him so he can kiss you, slow, deep and dirty, “You’re perfect.” 

You chuckle against his lips, stealing one last kiss from his lips before sitting up, “You think I’m perfect now, just wait until you see what I put in the fridge for you.” 

His eyes widen and he props himself up on his elbows, uncaring that his now soft cock is just out in the open, cum cooling on his skin, “Triple Chocolate Fudge cake with Oreo crumble?” 

You nod, barely humming in affirmation before he’s flinging himself out of bed, trying to put his sweatpants on as he runs out the door of his bedroom. You hear him yell a few moments later from the kitchen, mouth full of chocolatey goodness;

“You’re perfect!”

#fictober20 #Kinktober #josh washington #josh washington/reader #joshua washington #josh washington x female reader #josh smut #josh washington smut

[lxveshotaro]

Discovery - Qian Kun

Warnings: Sub! Kun, Dom! Reader, Masturbation, Handjob, Orgasm Denial, Fingering

Plot: Kun finds something new for him to get off on, its a bit weird at first but he grows a desire to learn more about it.

A/N: F/N means “friends name” I didn’t use it that many times but it does appear. Also this turned out like extremely different than I expected it too. To the person who requested this: if you want me to write like a part two of this where she actually doms him and doe all that other stuff then lmk and I will do that for you.

The internet is a huge place, it’s a place where you could easily find out about something you previously knew nothing about. That’s what’s been happening to Kun a lot recently. It’s currently 2:30 am and Kun was scrolling through a porn site that he’d visit a lot in an attempt to get off on something. Watching the regular porn with terrible acting never quite did it for Kun, the homemade videos didn’t quite do it either. He was frustrated by it, why did nothing excite him anymore? He would get turned on for a split second but as soon as he’d go to touch himself all of his previous feelings would disappear.

He continued scrolling through the videos when he came across a video with Japanese in the title, judging by the thumbnail, it was something really kinky. He clicked on it out of pure curiosity. The video started with a woman in a skin tight leather outfit paired with matching leather heels, she enticed the viewers with her body and facial expressions. Shortly after a man would appear in the video, he was heavily laced in all types of bondage. It was shocking, the way she manhandled the man like he was nothing, the way she spoke to him in a harsh tone. Kun stared at the video and had no words for it, that is until he realized what was happening to him.

The woman was edging the man to no end but it turned Kun on. He felt bad for the guy but he also wanted to be the guy. In no time Kun found himself sprawled out on his bed, pantsless and panting, wanting more. He had been edging and pacing himself to match with the video. The woman in the video stops her movements, Kun also stopped his. Kun’s thighs were shaking as he denied himself for the 3rd time. It was like he was in a trance, he was being so obedient to the woman in the video without her even telling him to do anything. He felt as if his body was moving on it’s own as he thrusted into his own fist rapidly. His hair stuck to his forehead as his panting turned into whimpering. He pressed his lips together tightly so he could quiet himself.

“FuckFuckFuck!” His voice was merely a whisper as he grew closer to his orgasm, “Please, oh fuck please!” Kun felt his body cringe as he realized what he was doing, that discomfort quickly left him as the woman’s hand paced faster than before. He became breathless after picking up his pace as well, he needed to cum badly. His hand felt weak as he held his phone in front of his face. He couldn’t take it anymore, he placed his phone onto the bed and got lost in the pleasure that he bestowed upon himself. With his lip caught between his teeth and his hips raised off the bed he continued to stroke himself to his climax. Unintentionally at the same time as the man in the video, his much needed orgasm came crashing down on him. A decent load spilled over his hand as he cried out a bit too loudly. His hand flew to cover his mouth as he thrusted into his fist again to ride out his orgasm.

“What did I just do?” Kun sat up in his bed and turned on the light on his bedside table. He looked at the mess he made on himself. He cleaned himself off with a confused expression and just decided to go to bed instead of thinking about what he just did.

The next few weeks were filled with Kun very suspiciously researching femdom topics. He was shy just thinking about how often he had to masturbate while thinking about the things he’s learned about. It was one of those late nights and Kun was laying in bed trying to sleep. After his unsuccessful attempts he went on his phone to do the thing that he spent most of his time doing. 

After about an hour of scrolling and searching he found an ad. It immediately caught his attention, it looked like one of those awkward “milf in your neighborhood” ads. Nonetheless, he clicked on it to check it out. The page was for finding an ideal sexual partner, you go on a date and then they decide if they like you or not. The first thing that popped up were some questions about, gender, age, height, things of that nature. After getting past them they asked about what he was looking for when it came to a sexual partner. “Ugh! What am I doing!?” Kun threw his phone down and scratched his head out of frustration. He’d become like a new person, constantly horny, wanting to use random objects in sexual ways, wanting to find someone to fuck him. He would have just gone for it if he wasn’t so embarrassed. Hearing his own moans was still incredibly embarrassing to him and it caused him to cringe every time.

A bunch of “what ifs” ran through his head over and over again, “What if I don’t really like it, what if I sound weird, what if I’m not good at it, what if-” There were many things running through his head. You had been an acquaintance of his, you guys hardly know anything about each other. When you guys see each other, which is pretty often you just greet each other and go your separate ways. You work with Kun quite often since your friend needs you for an extra hand during recording sessions and things of that nature. Kun always thought you were beautiful and sweet, someone he wouldn’t mind asking for sex. He started with the what ifs again, “What if she doesn’t even like me or the idea?” He again got frustrated and decided to try to sleep again.

Everytime your friend would record he would ask you to be there for reading over lyrics or giving a second opinion on things to make the process easier. You went into the studio and greeted your friend, “Hey, is Kun here yet?” They shook their head, “No but he sent in some lyrics the other day, I went over them but can you read over them again?” You nodded and sat down to read them. Shortly after, the sound of the door caught your attention, causing you to look behind you. Kun was walking in when you looked, “Hey Kun!” You stood up and pulled him into a hug, he was always so cute to you. He flashed you a dimple filled smile which melted your heart a bit hence you ruffling his hair around. Kun got shy about the jester and smiled and giggled to himself a little.

Ruining the moment your friend spoke, “Okay let me show you this.” He walked over to Kun and showed him the changes he made to the song and shortly after that they started recording. You had to admit, Kun is extremely talented and watching him get extremely into the zone made him all the more attractive. You watched his facial expressions as he sang the lyrics, hitting each and every note perfectly.

"Amazing! Let's only go over the last part and you'll be out of here!" Right before your friends started up the recording again his phone rang, "Oh sorry, it's my girlfriend, I gotta take this." You nodded and watched him walk out of the room. Kun shuffled out of the recording booth which caught your attention, "Are you okay?" You smiled widely at Kun, "Uh.. yeah I um.. have a question.." He immediately regretted saying anything. "What is it?" You furrowed your eyebrows at his weird behavior.

Without saying much more Kun reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money, "You don't have to if you don't want to but this money might make it easier to say yes to." His nerves were getting the best of him as he spoke at an extremely fast pace, unable to stand still. "Woah Kun, what is this for?" Your body perked up and filled with confusion. "Uh I.. shit." Kun took a deep breath and sat down where your friend was sitting previously. He put the money on the table and hid his face in his hands and sat like that for a while. 

Still extremely confused and now concerned, you reached for him and placed a hand on his back, "Kun.. ar-" The door swung open again and you and Kun looked in that direction, "My girlfriend needs me to help her with her car, I'm sorry, I have to go for a bit. I'll call when I'm headed back this way." He completely ignored the wad of cash on the table and the fact that it looked like you made Kun cry. You just sent your friend a smile and a nod and waited for him to leave again.

"Okay, what is going on? Are you okay?" He sighed heavily, "It's just.. I'm.. nevermind, you won’t say yes.” He started to stand up but you grabbed his hand, “No no, you don’t know what I’ll say, what is it?” Another sigh left his lips, “I’m not good enough for what I’m going to ask, I’ve never done it before. It’s weird anyways..” You laughed, “I know we don’t know much about each other but everything about me is weird, come on, I’m not gonna judge you.” It took him a moment to even move from the position he was in. Without looking at you he spoke, “Well.. I um.. found this.. thing..” The more he spoke, he started to realize how embarrassing the story was, but it was too late to stop talking, he cleared his throat, “So, this.. website, had some videos on it and the video topic was femdom..” You interrupted, “Wait. You were going to pay me for sex?” He nodded, “I’m sorry..”

You crossed your legs, “Hey, look at me.” He turned to you slowly and saw your unreadable expression, “On your knees in front of me.” Kun looked confused, “Wha-” You interrupted again, “I said, get on your knees in front of me.” He was quick to obey you. Having learned from the videos he saw he got on his knees and held his head down in case you didn't want him to look at you. “Why didn’t you just get closer with me so that we could have sex? Why did you decide to pay me?” His voice was a mumble, he was ashamed of himself, “I did it because..” You placed your hand under his chin and lifted his face so he was looking up at you, “Continue.” He hesitated for a moment but looked beside you instead of at you, “I assumed you wouldn’t even want to have regular sex with me.. so I just-” You pulled his face to the side so that he would look at you again, “You love to assume things don’t you?” He nodded slowly.

“Come here.” He stood up and you pulled down his sweats. His boner sprung free, Kun’s hands wandered aimlessly before landing on your shoulders. One of your hands went on his hip and pulled him forward, “Sit.” He lowered himself onto your lap and looked down at your hand that was wrapped around him. “Good boy.” You started stroking his full length slowly. Kun’s thighs were so nice, the way they tensed when something felt good, the way his skin was extremely soft, it made him even more attractive. “C- can I kiss you?” You nodded, Kun’s lips were soft and his kiss was shy.

The strokes continued to be slow as you focused on kissing him. He started unintentionally thrusting into your fist which made you stop your movements. He pulled away from the kiss slightly, “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, “It’s okay.” His lips were swollen and red from the deep and messy kiss that you shared. Kun bit his lip as you sped up your strokes. He looked so beautiful with his hair stuck to his forehead as he struggled to hold himself up. "You're so beautiful you know that?" He made a twisted and unsure expression, "It's true Kun." He shuddered at the reassurance.

Your strokes were fast and your phone suddenly rang. You stopped your movements and leaned forward, stabilizing Kun with your hand, it was your friend calling. A sudden idea popped into your head, "Answer it." You handed Kun the phone, he took it but he hesitated, "Tell him I'm in the bathroom." Kun answered it and brought it up to his ear, his focus was on your hand and not on the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, it's Kun, Y/N's in the bathroom, I saw it was you so I just picked uH- up the ph-phone." Kun's face turned red from embarrassment as you ran your finger over his slit a few times. "Oh okay, so my girlfriend called me because-" By this point Kun wasn't listening, the movement of your hand completely occupied his thoughts right now. He caught his lip in between his teeth as he tried not to moan while you stroked him quickly. "Hello? Kun?" His attention was drawn back to the phone momentarily, "Yeah- s-sorry I-I'm writing.. lyrics.."

The closer he got the harder it was for him to stay quiet. You could hear your friend talking on the phone since you were very close to Kun. "I'll be up in about 5 minutes." Kun nodded and hung up the phone quickly, he didn't even bother putting it down. He moaned as you stroked his length skillfully in your hand. 

Kun held his eyes shut as he once again focused on the pleasure he was feeling. You slowed your pace as if you were stroking out his orgasm but he hadn’t cum yet. He opened his eyes and stared at you with a bewildered expression. “He’ll be back soon, go on, put your pants back on.” Kun shook his head frantically, “Please! It won’t take long, I was almost there!” Now you shook your head, “No, you can’t get my clothes dirty right? Unless you want me to tell F/N about this?” Your hand went to grab his length again, “No!” He finally pulled himself off of your lap. He struggled to get his pants over his aching boner and sitting down was a whole other debacle. 

“Y-you’re not gonna leave me like this right?” You just grabbed your phone and scrolled through social media again. “Please Y/N..” He leaned over and grabbed onto your arm, he moaned quietly, probably because of movement on his crotch. Before you could say anything the door opened once again. F/N looked confused, first he was the money, then he looked at Kun’s grip on your hand, “Uh-” Kun frantically let go of your arm and then sloppily collected the money. He was clumsy, normally he didn’t even slip up on his words but sexual frustration really proves its existence. You smiled at F/N, “Come on, let’s finish recording that last part.”

Watching Kun struggle on the monitor was the best part of this whole thing. The way he fiddled around but tensed up when he moved his legs too much was satisfying to you. He sounded so breathless and he was extremely distracted the whole time. You on the other hand just had a smug grin on your face the entire time. Your friend felt the weird tension in the air but he couldn’t quite tell what it was but it was a bit weird.

“Kun, are you alright?” F/N looked in Kun’s direction as he walked out of the recording room. You were right behind him so he couldn’t see you. A smile was plastered on your face as Kun came up with some excuse for why he was acting weird. His hair was thrown everywhere since he kept running his fingers through it out of frustration. “Well, we’ve finished the recording, you should head home. You too Y/N.” You nodded, smiled and stood up to pack up your things. Kun again, frantically started to pack up his things too. 

You walked out of the room first and he came out shortly after. He ran fast enough to get in front of you, “Y/N, please..” Before you could even think of an answer Kun had dropped to his knees and grabbed your hand, “Y/N please~” You tried to lift him up, “Okay, do you want it that badly? You can come to my place, just stand up please.” Once you got him up you were able to get situated and into the car. The ride was filled with Kun’s desperate whimpers and pants as the car bounced and moved along.

It took a bit for you guys to get into the house since Kun was dragging around his little problem. "Does it hurt baby?" Kun nodded as he continued to fiddle by the front door. "Come here sweetie." You walked into your bedroom and Kun followed closely behind you. You crouched down and unbuttoned Kun’s pants, when you pulled them down you were extra careful not to cause too much friction for him. You pumped him in your hand one time, Kun let out a shaky strangled moan, “Aww poor baby..” You pulled him closer to you and just held his erection in your hand, “What is it that you want me to do sweetheart?” He held your shoulders again like he did in the studio, “Fuck me please..” You tilted your head, “Have you ever even put anything in there?” He sighed and shrugged, “Don’t get fussy, I need to know this in order to make sure you’re comfortable.” He nodded, “I’m sorry.. I’ve tried to do things down there but I always stop myself..” You nodded.

You patted the bed and stood up to grab some lube from your stash. You walked back over to the bed and pushed him down slightly, “Should I teach you how to do it?” He nodded slightly and moved himself further onto the bed. “First, spread your legs so you have enough access to yourself.” He was shy about it but he did it anyways, “Here.” You leaned forward to squeeze lube onto his hand but he pulled it away, “Can you do it? Please?”

You nodded and squeezed the lube onto two of your fingers. Kun held his legs open for you like the good boy he is. You climbed onto the bed and rubbed lube onto his anus, “Are you ready?” He nodded desperately. You were laying on your stomach so you had access to both of your hands. One of them pressed slightly on his anus while your other one grabbed onto his cock. 

You first started pumping his sensitive cock in your hand, he hissed at the feeling. Making sure to pace your hand so he wouldn't cum you moved slowly at some times and faster at another. You continued to press against his entrance until your finger slipped in. He inhaled sharply as he wasn't expecting that to happen. You slowly moved one finger in and out of him, slightly stretching him in the process. 

You noticed all the times that he'd hear himself moan and get uncomfortable by it, "Kun." He let out a strangled moan as a response, "You sound beautiful." He blushed at the compliment that was random to him, "You look beautiful too." He couldn't give you an answer but you knew he heard you. By now you had completely stopped all movements on his dick and was just focusing on fingering him. 

As soon as you slipped in a second finger Kun's body was shaking, he was able to hold off his orgasm since he wanted to feel this more. You sped up your strokes, the shaky moan that Kun tried to fight back showed you just how close he was. Kun's hips started to roll as he felt the knot in his stomach build up even more. He couldn't hold it anymore and his cum shot upwards and landed on his stomach. His back arched as you continued to finger and stroke him through his orgasm. You smiled at the needy boy as he cried out from the pleasure. 

"Thank you Y/N." His voice was weak but meaningful, "Why are you thanking me?" You got up to get some tissues, "Because you didn't think I was weird or anything." You laughed, "I do think you're weird, but so am I." He laughed along with you, "Maybe next time we can do something more." He looked at you with curious eyes, "But for now, let's go take a bath." Kun could feel his heart melt, he loved being taken care of like this.

#wayv smut #sub wayv smut #sub!idol #sub kun smut #sub! kun #sub!kun smut #sub!wayv #kun smut #wayv kun smut #qian kun smut

[tricktster]

I noticed at least some of you seem to be into my recent Swamp Content, so I went out last night around sunset to record the soundtrack of spring in the wetlands for y’all, because I think you should be forced to confront my daily reality of every single animal in the woods simultaneously screaming about how they want, no, NEED, to fuck. 

Now, you may notice that animals’ sex solicitations are not the only noises in this video, and that brings me to the other denizen of these wretched boglands: my only neighbor, the swamp witch. 

Note: I am currently living that millennial lifestyle where I am somehow simultaneously a respected professional that earns a lot of money and absolutely buried in the student loan debt that I had to incur to get to be a respected professional that earns a lot of money. I traded my pride for fiscal responsibility, I moved back in with my parents, and I have spent the past few years diligently paying that shit down while saving for a down payment on my own house. Honestly? I’m so fucking grateful that my parents gave me this opportunity, since I’m finally at the point where the homes in my price range have like, roofs and bathrooms that aren’t carpeted and basically no bloodstains on the walls. There has really only been one downside to returning to this house, and that is that there is no way not to regularly encounter the swamp witch, because, again, she is my only neighbor for as far as the eye can see, on account of everything else being swamp. 

Me and the swamp witch go way back, and I know more about her than most, because she has a daughter about my age, so when I was a kid I would very occasionally enter the neighboring property on the daughter’s invitation. As a result, I have known the swamp witch for approximately twenty years, during which she has never demonstrated the barest capacity for being anything except actively wretched. 

I was going to tell you all the ways that she’s the worst, category by category, but honestly, I only got through one sub-category before I got overwhelmed at how much more there was to write. So we’ll leave out the bits about how she interacts with her family, my family, her employees, the legal system, and so on. Let’s just talk animals, and there is a MAJOR CONTENT WARNING HERE FOR ANIMAL NEGLECT AND DEATH:

As you can hear in the video, she has only one vocal pitch, and it is screaming. 

“What is she screaming at?” You might ask, and I would answer “A varying amount of small dogs that is never less than four.” They are generally impulse purchases at the mall pet store, or she receives them as gifts. They are not trained, ever, and she appears to hate them in the same way that Miss Hannigan in Annie hates orphans, where like... one has to question why she is then accumulating so many, when it would be so easy to just not have several hundred poorly behaved small dogs that she has to scream at all day. 

At the end of the video, she calls them “little rats,” which again, is a real “evil orphanage owner and/or Cruella DeVille” move

Occasionally, mixed in with the small dogs, there will be a big one, and she will also hate that one. 

When I first met her, she had a big dog named Poop. 

Why was the dog named Poop, you might ask? Well, because she was inspired by the fact that the poor dog clearly had some sort of devastating intestinal issue that caused it to produce such enormous and clearly unhealthy dumps that I can really only describe them as “not technically a war crime, but...” 

The swamp witch does not enjoy cleaning up her dogs’ feces, or really addressing the fact that they have bathroom needs in any way. When I was a kid, I used to go inside her house to hang out with her daughter, and there would always be just a Pomeranian poop chilling on the kitchen floor.  

Since Poop (the dog) would have destroyed the entire first floor of her house if he’d gone inside, she instead directed him to do his business on our driveway.

Since Poop’s insides were all messed up, Poop would constantly eat grass. Poop passed away after the swamp witch threw him outside to poop on our driveway, and he stopped to eat the grass, including the illegal pesticide she’d just sprayed on her front lawn. 

Lest you think that the swamp witch merely has it out for dogs, let me clarify: Dogs are one of the types of animals she accumulates, because, deep down, she hates every animal.

The swamp witch clearly has a special dislike for birds, which is why she has several varieties of very long-lived parrots that are, obviously, not socialized. The parrots are therefore constantly screeching, regardless of time of day. She does not like this, so she will scream at them to shut up whenever they are screeching, which is always. 

For my entire childhood, the swamp witch did not park in her garage. Why not, you ask? Well, because the garage was full of ducks, you see. 

Just a flock of thirty ducks that she stored in a garage. 

She did, at least, keep one sort of animal that was perfectly suited to be kept outdoors as a domestic pet in a place renowned for its harsh and lengthy winters and I am totally kidding it was fucking peacocks. She had peacocks. Four peacocks, which she hated. 

The peacocks had slashing talons and a penchant for child attacks. 

Peacocks, if you were curious, also enjoy screaming.

At least one of the peacocks lasted incredibly long, by swamp witch animal standards, and every second of that long life was spent either plotting escape, trying to attack people once it had escaped, or, of course, screeching. 

There are always at least nine purebred cats, which she absolutely loathes. They are always extremely expensive purchases from a mall pet store, and they invariably have a genetic defect that makes them less able to function without human assistance than your standard cat, which is why they are indoor/outdoor, in a swamp filled with coyotes. 

The cats, needless to say, appear and vanish on something of a heavy rotation due to coyote related tragedies. 

There was briefly a goat, which somehow lived indoors. 

The last time I remember being in that house, there was a rubbermaid tub full of baby snapping turtles. 

I finally had to wrap this up because after the snapping turtles, I realized that I could keep going. I could just keep going on about the swamp witch and animals. I’m nowhere near done. I cannot believe this is a real person, but it is, and she is probably less than 1000 feet away from me right now, and she is possibly in a room full of dolls because one of the rooms in that house is just porcelain dolls its just dolls you guys it’s literally just-

no. 

I’m done. Let it go, TST. 

This is what the swamp witch feeds on. 

#also sorry I just listened to that video and i know it sounds like i'm doing awful mouth moistening or something? #i swear to god #I am not doing mouth moistening

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober Day 2: Camboy, RK1K

Alright, so this is a Markus/Connor one, hopefully you enjoy!

--------------------------

This definitely wasn't Hank meant when he told Connor to experiment. He probably meant to go to bars and pick someone up and see what he liked. Not sit in front of a mirror with a camera set up facing him so his viewers could pick between watching from Connor's point of view or an outsider.

Yet this was what he liked, and it took a lot to get to the point where he could admit that. Of course, he hadn't tried this while living at Hank's, that was far too embarrassing. 

No, he only did this now after Markus had invited his closest friends to live with him. Carl had gladly opened his home and arms to his 'new babies' and had taken an instant liking to Connor. 

Connor had been… nervous to say the least. He didn't want to upset Carl or get in anyone's way, so he mostly kept to himself, easily slipping out of the house for work and back in once it was done. 

A friendship he was very surprised to make was the one with North. She seemed more hotheaded than even Gavin Reed and had more of a passion for beating shit up. 

Connor had actually avoided her for a long time until he came back home (because that's what it was now) bloody and shaking. The blood wasn't all his, but the only one up had been North. He tried to slip past her, take a shower, and just sleep, but she had noticed. 

Her first reaction was to get whoever had done this to him, which was more meaningful than he expected. Yet it was only until she was gently wiping away the blood that he broke down. 

He couldn't stop the killer before shooting an android child at close range, and Connor was splattered in the child's blood and then the killers as he shot them. 

After that they had been closer than ever, even Markus joked about North being Connor's favorite. Yet North had privately teased Connor relentlessly about his crush on Markus. 

That's why he always felt somewhat guilty about doing this. At least he knew the walls were almost completely soundproof and it wasn't like anyone would just walk in. 

He even kept a white sheet strung up behind him so no one could actually see his room, and he made it so they'd never be able to see his real face. Instead, he used an HR400 appearance. They were close enough in appearance that he could make the viewers believe he changed his facial structure just slightly to be mood unique. 

He also made sure no one would be able to find his location from his streams and videos. 

He had gotten more followers than he knew what to do with, and most of the money went to toys the viewers all suggested or donated to the android cause. 

Which was how he had gotten the two new toys he planned on using. One he hadn't known too much about before his views pointed it out, and the other he just hadn't thought to get yet. 

He shifted in his spot, his clothes covering him up for now. He left the pace up to the chat and donations so he didn't have to worry about going too slow or too fast as it wasn't his decision. 

He gave the room a once over before taking a deep breath and starting the stream. It was a scheduled stream so he wasn't surprised when he saw over 100 people waiting for it to start. 

He felt a blush creep up his cheeks but he smiled at the mirror, tilting his head just slightly. "Hey, guys! So as you know I got a special surprise for you!" He had placed the toys far enough away to not get caught in the line of sight of him or the other camera. 

The chat was flooded with hellos and questions about how he was. The onslot of messages had him stalling as he took them all in, still shocked at the multitude. Yet even more people were still joining the stream, but he had yet to see his favorite user.

That was until the username-ShadesOfBlue-popped up along with plenty of coins. 

He flushed more than before, ducking his head. Blue was always so generous with his compliments and money but never pushed it into the creepy side. It made him feel actually seen and cared about beyond his sex appeal. 

ShadesOfBlue: You look stunning as always, how has work been?

"Hello, Blue! As for everyone's questions, I've been doing well! I made a lot of progress so I'm definitely rewarding myself and all of you tonight. Would you all like that? I know you love it when I punish myself." 

Comments about how they'd like to reward or punish him came up, but he only glanced through them. Most were crude while others were more eloquently put. 

ShadesOfBlue: You definitely deserve the treat, I'm proud of you, Belladonna, for all your hard work.

Connor beamed and wiggled just slightly. He was a complete sucker for praise and everyone knew it. He also had a thing for pain and using his mouth, which he'd get to do tonight. "Thank you all! I'm excited to please you." 

That was one of his signature lines apparently, and he hadn't even meant to make it one. He had his signing off words but everyone died when he said this. 

Just to show the chat was flooded with coins and sweet words. Some wanted him to fuck them while others wanted to fuck Connor. He still couldn't decide which Blue wanted to do.

Yet he had more surprises than just new toys. He played with the buttons on his shirt, giving the mirror a shy look as he sat W-style. 

He had a pleated schoolgirl skirt on, floral lace thigh-highs, and a white button-down shirt. He'd worn more feminine clothing before and each time always got a positive reaction from his fans. Though there were always the people who spouted cruel words, he didn't even have to deal with them since the fans did that too. 

He paused when he saw the amount of coins Blue had used on him and waited for whatever command he wanted. 

ShadesOfBlue: Perhaps you should take off that shirt if you'd like.

It was always phrased similarly, always giving the hint that he only had to do what he wanted and not what Blue wanted just because of the coins. 

Yet he was eager to obey and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, teasing them a bit more. "Is this what you want? I can be a good boy and show you. Am I you're good boy?" 

He had to hold back the smirk at the yes' that got him. A few people called him a bad boy for teasing, but they were shut down by the people who watched often. They knew Connor loved being called a good boy, and that he'd do close to anything for it. 

ShadesOfBlue: You have certainly been good so far, but not to the extent, I don't think.

Connor whined and pouted. He gave a small huff at the commenters who tried to tell Blue off, yet Connor could simply be doing a stream with only Blue and he wouldn't miss any of the others. Not that he didn't appropriate his fans. Blue simply seemed to know him better and what he wanted. There was something so familiar about him too, but he couldn't place how. 

Blue also never asked or tried to buy a private video. Connor kept waiting for that day but it still hadn't happened. Maybe he liked it better with everyone else and knowing he had Connor's full attention. 

Connor gently bit at his lip before pulling his shirt off. He sat there for a long second, letting everyone look their fill. He felt so exposed already with so many eyes on him. How many were also androids? How many humans watched just because he was an android?

ShadesOfBlue: Don't forget to drink thirium.

He had a feeling Blue was an android too. He wasn't sure how he got enough money to give so much almost every stream, but Markus was technically rich so he guessed it was possible. 

He had always secretly hoped it was Markus. His brain tried to connect dots but he couldn't let himself truly hope like that. Sure the username was very much like Markus with his love of painting, but it could be anyone if their favorite color was blue. 

"Thank you Blue, I'll make sure to get some after the stream." He also always had an emergency bottle in his room just in case. He only had to use it once before and that was before he had gotten a good hang of this. 

Blue hadn't been there for that, only joined after Connor was trending in certain circles. He was far from the first android to do this, but he had more success than any others. Did Blue watch them too?

He knew almost everyone watching got off on this, but what if Blue didn't. Maybe he was there simply because he liked Connor. Yet he wanted Blue to pleasure himself because of Connor. He loved the fact that they all thought he was irresistible.

Requests on things Connor should do kept coming, some even spending coins. Yet none were high enough for him to need to follow. He had a set amount someone could spend to request him to do something and nine times out of ten he'd do it. There were a few requests he just couldn't do. 

One comment did catch his eye though. 

Gethatpuddy: when you gonna do stream with someone fucking you?

He blinked and fingers stalled over his chest. He had considered it but didn't trust anyone enough with this secret. He'd love for Markus to join him, but he was far too well known and he'd probably be uncomfortable with the whole thing. Maybe even disgusted with Connor. He'd never even give him another hug, and damn Markus gave wonderful hugs. 

He'd not exactly said it outright, but he had a feeling North knew. She didn't say anything against it, seemed more interested that Connor was into it. She always made it clear how she felt about sex and how she most definitely did not want it in any form. 

"I don't think that will happen anytime soon, I only trust you with this naughty secret." He added a wink at the end and brushed his fingers over his nipples. He always had to find ways to say things so it seemed like it was more personal for the viewers, that they were special and the only ones to see this. 

ShadesOfBlue: It's far from naughty, you simply enjoy it and you let all of us in on it. And we all appreciate you for it. 

Connor whined and tried to roll his hips down onto the ground, searching for some kind of stimulation. "Are you sure? I thought good boys like me don't do this. That I can only touch myself with your permission." 

He did smirk this time at everyone telling him to touch himself. Yet he wouldn't do it quite yet, he wanted to show off one of his new toys first. 

"Would you like to see a new toy? I wanted to play with that before anything else." At the yes' he reached over and grabbed the dildo. 

It wasn't just any dildo, it was one made specifically for androids and moments like these. He could connect it to himself so he could feel everything the dick would have felt if it was attached to him. But it also glowed so that people could see it inside his mouth. It was big enough to be somewhat of a challenge, but that only made it better. 

"What color should it glow?" He asked, turning it on. Currently, it would slowly change colors so it was rainbow. 

ShadesOfBlue: Blue?

He really shouldn't be surprised by that request. Blue asking for blue, a total shocker right there. He giggled and his LED spun a quick yellow as he changed the color to a blue. One very similar to the color androids' hands glowed when they interfaced and were in love. 

He wondered if Markus' hand would glow blue if they interfaced like that. He wanted to test it so bad but he never could. He didn't want to know if he'd glow or not, what would he do with either result? 

"Blue it is!" He let his eyes slipped closed as he licked at the cock, whining just slightly. He was connected to the stream so he could still read all the comments but his focus was on the task at hand. 

He took his time licking over it, then gently sucking on the head. He pulled it away from his mouth and let his eyes open, smiling at the camera. "For five hundred coins I'll let you connect to this so you can feel everything I'm doing. Sadly it only works with androids." 

He waited to see if anyone would pay that much. Five hundred coins were fifty dollars worth, but he had quite a few people that he knew would pay far above that if he asked. 

ShadesOfBlue: only if you're comfortable. 

Blue paid for eight hundred coins and Connor flushed. That did confirm Blue was almost certainly an android. He had to take a second to get it all configured and then he could feel Blue connect. 

It was a familiar feeling, but he had interfaced with plenty of androids, so perhaps he'd done it before. Yet there was just something more that he couldn't place. 

"Are you ready Blue? I'm gonna make you feel so good." He'd go above and beyond for him, wanting to impress. 

ShadesOfBlue: I'm sure you will. 

Connor smiled and slowly took the cock into his mouth, teasing Blue with each little suck and lick. He wished he could see Blue, see how he was reacting. He could feel him somewhat but it wasn't enough. 

He pulled it deeper, turning his head so they could see it through his cheeks. He even loved the sight of the cock getting farther into his mouth and he had to make his throat relax. 

ShadesOfBlue: You're doing so well, baby, so beautiful.

Connor hummed and could feel the effect it had on Blue. So he did it again and swallowed around the large cock. He kept going at it until he could swear Blue was close, then pulled it out of his mouth. 

"Feel so good in my mouth, but don't you also want to see my other new toy?" He gently fiddled with the dildo still, resting it between his thighs to hold it in place. 

ShadesOfBlue: Of course baby, but you may want to stop teasing me.

Fightmebitch: you can take it, you paid for it. Anyway, why is your username that?

ShadesOfBlue: I love painting. 

It was such a simple answer yet it had Connor jolting. Blue was just similar enough to Markus that he could easily envision it was him behind the comments and connected to him

Yet Connor would know, wouldn't he? Markus wasn't shy about talking about the things he liked, even if it was considered taboo by human standards. So he knew a few things Markus liked, and it may have affected his streams sometimes. Markus hadn't even mentioned being interested in watching live streams, so it was far too unlikely. 

Plenty of androids liked painting and probably even more so now that Markus's love for it was public. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when the chat was flooded with questions if he was ok. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I was a bit distracted by simply thinking about what was coming next." 

ShadesOfBlue: If you need a break or to cancel, no one would blame you. Obviously, we all want you to continue but only do what's best for you.

How did Blue know he was lying? Their connection through the toys was incredibly limited so it couldn't be that. 

"Oh I'm not going to stop now, it's just getting good!" He reached over and pulled the sybian into view. "But I guess I can stop if you all want." He shrugged and pouted. 

ShadesOfBlue: I did not say that. But only continue if you're comfortable. Are you going to be fucking yourself on that? 

"I am, and you all get to decide when it gets turned up. It'll vibrate and move so I'll be fucked so good if you'll let me." He spread his legs, not enough for anyone to see up it, but it got plenty of people's attention. 

An influx of coins came in, but once again Blue had the most. 

ShadesOfBlue: Maybe you should play with yourself, first. 

Connor bit his lip and slid his hand down his chest then under the skirt. He spread his legs wider and had to grab the dildo and set it aside for now. 

He wouldn't let them see exactly what he was doing, but any observant people should be able to tell he didn't have his normal parts. 

He ran his fingers over his clothed slit, his breath quickly leaving him. He had kept the sensitivity up far higher than recommend so every little touch sent shivers down his spine. 

"Hmm, who's name should I ask for?"

Fightmebitch: Call out one of Jericho leaders name for this whole stream

And it was followed by one thousand coins. His eyes bugged out for a second, not recognizing the username and the request.

"Which one? There's four in all."

Fightmebitch: no, there's five. Josh, Simon, Markus, North, and Connor. 

He flushed at his own name being on the list. Yet if he argued that point it may give him away, but there was also no way in hell he was calling out his own name.

Fightmebitch: how about Markus? I'm sure he'd love it.

ShadesOfBlue: please don't.

It was the first time he'd go against Blue, but fuck he wanted to call for Markus so bad. Plus he had the excuse of getting paid to say it. It was somewhat shocking that the user hadn't asked for their name to be called and even odder that Blue didn't want it. 

He never seemed to mind when others paid for their own names, so why was this different? Did Blue not like Markus? 

He didn't want to lose Blue as a viewer, though. "Ah, Blue I'm sorry but I must." 

There was no response but Blue hadn't disconnected or left the chat, so he took that as a good signal. 

He rubbed himself again, and his head tilted back, "fuck yes, Markus." 

He whimpered and pushed into his hand, only causing him to gasp again. "Yes!"

He could feel a spike of arousal from Blue and he tried to ignore it. Maybe they had the same name or something, and that's why. It wasn't a super uncommon name and lots of androids named themselves after Markus after deviating. There were probably plenty of Josh's, Connor's, Simon's, and North's out there.

More and more people were catching on and he smirked at the camera. "Hm, god feels so good. I'd bet your fingers would feel even better on my cunt." 

He felt another wave of strong arousal from Blue and he felt immediately proud. He'd been worried people wouldn't like this, but Connor loved it. He felt comfortable using this component just as much as his other one. 

He pushed his skirt up so they could see his fingers slowly rubbing in circles over lacy panties. North had actually been the one to help pick them out, and thankfully never cruelly teased him. She poked at him but it had gotten him giggling and far more relaxed. 

They were a little rough but it still felt so good against him. "Like this? It feels so good maybe I can do more? Should I prep myself or take it without." 

He wouldn't actually get hurt but he knew some people liked seeing him prep himself and edge until he was finally allowed to use the toys. 

Fightmebitch: you like it without? Do it now for Markus

ShadesOfBlue: @Fightmebitch do you have some sort obsession?

Fightmebitch: nope, I just think Markus would appropriate this.

ShadesOfBlue: how do you know? 

Fightmebitch: I have my ways, Blue boy.

Connor was almost reminded of Markus and North's interactions with how the two were talking. He grabbed the machine and turned it on, but without any vibrations or movement. "I can do that. I'll keep playing with your cock, Blue, don't worry I haven't forgotten you."

He moved over and waited for the right amount of coins before slowly pushing in and hissing at the huge stretch. The toy was above average in size and it pushed him to his limits with the burning pain. 

He gasped and froze once completely seated. He'd need a moment to breathe and try to relax slightly. As he did he picked back up the glowing cock and stuck it in his mouth. It would help distract him and give the viewers something to watch other than him just sitting there and adjusting. 

ShadesOfBlue: fuck

Connor hummed and eyed the camera. This was one of the best moments when Blue was so out of it that Connor could reduce him to short comments. 

He had the sybian connected to the stream so anyone who paid enough could switch it up without him even knowing. Of course, there was a fifteen second before anyone else could change it, but that could also be overridden with enough coins. 

But no one could actually start the toy until he unlocked it and was ready. He kept fucking his own mouth with the cock and then let the chat know they could use the toy by making the chat turn green for a second.

Usernameideahere was the first one to pay enough to do a command, and they chose to start it with vibrations and Connor jumped slightly. This was one of the few notifications he wouldn't get so he'd be surprised. He'd only get the username who had paid enough and Connor was waiting for Blue. Would he be more gentle or edge him for hours? Connor technically had all night unless for some reason there was an emergency.

He pulled the cock out of his mouth as gasped for breath, letting out a low moan.

"Ah! Shit, yes thank you, Markus." Connor rocked his hips, trying to find the right angle. He'd get to keep saying Markus' name the whole time and he wanted to kiss whoever Fightmebitch was. 

The only bad thing about having his mouth full was he wouldn't be able to say anything, yet the chat seemed rather excited to see him speechless. 

He licked it over again and sucked on the head as the sybian started to pound into him and move in circles on his clit. 

Blue's arousal was so strong that it was almost affecting Connor's own in a very positive way. At least he knew Blue got off on this too and wasn't just sitting there and watching. 

The chat changed up the toy so much that it was hard to keep up and adjust, yet he loved the overwhelmingness of it all. 

It only got better when Connor tilted his hips just right and he almost fell forward with the jolt of pleasure. He accidentally gagged himself on the cock but relaxed his throat enough to fully deepthroat it. 

ShadesOfBlue: God, you're so beautiful. I know you love your mouth filled so well.

Connor nodded and his legs shook as he tried to get closer but pull away at the same time, all the sensations almost too much. Yet the toy only sped up and he couldn't stop the tears falling down his cheeks. 

Then Blue paid and turned it almost completely off and Connor felt like screaming. Then it was full force for a few seconds before almost off again. Blue was teasing him so much and Connor's whole body shook. 

Fightmebitch: when you come, take it out of your mouth and say his name

Fuck he could do that. He banged on the floor, then tried something to hold onto. He knew who he was envisioning doing this, the broad shoulders he could have held onto, scratching up his warm soft back.  

Blue kept paying to control the toy and Connor had to pull the cock out of his mouth and threw his head back. "Fuck! Markus!" He shouted and his body shook, tightening around the toy and he couldn't even think about moving for a minute. 

He panted as the toy didn't stop and he started to move off before he heard a knock at his door. Panic had him freezing and he stared at the camera with wide eyes. 

He tried to reach out to whoever was on the other side and felt his stomach drop when we felt Markus there. 

'Markus, I'm a bit busy at the moment, is it important?' God this was beyond horrifying, but perhaps he could talk his way out of it. He put a finger up to his lips and gave the camera a shocked and shy look. 

'Connor… I need to come in. Please.' Markus's reply was slow and Connor winced slightly as he started to push himself up and off. 'You don't have to get off if you don't want to.' 

Wait what? His head whipped back to the camera and he completely froze. This couldn't be real. There was no way Markus had watched him fuck himself and beg Markus for more. Maybe he just meant if he was sitting Markus could let himself in. 

'It's ok, but I can disguise myself too if you want, but I won't be embarrassed if not. I didn't know it was you until now, but please, let me in. I'm Blue.'

Shit. He sank back onto the toy mostly from the shock of it all. 'Ok.' 

The door opened and Connor couldn't look over, instead, his eyes stared down at the ground, hyperaware of the toy not slowing. The chat was filled with questions about what was going on and Connor didn't have the strength to answer them. 

Then he felt a hand reach out and gently tilt his head up. He couldn't look but when he did his eyes were wide as he took in Markus's appearance. He hadn't disguised himself, and only wore his boxers that seemed to have a damp spot. This was really happening. 

"Markus?" He whispered, and the chat was flooded with exclamations and disbelief. 

Markus nodded and crouched down, letting his eyes travel over Connor's trembling body. The toy kept pushing him and he gave a low whine. Markus move in and gently kissed him, Connor didn't even think, he let the false face fade away and he leaned closer to Markus. 

The kiss was so sweet and wanting, and Connor couldn't even think to keep up with all the comments. Markus was Blue. It had been him all along and neither knew it was the other. 

Fightmebitch: fucking finally, anyway, Connor tell Markus he left an empty bottle of thirium on the counter, this is payback. Also, I'm never watching this again but I'm glad you're happy -North.

Huh, that did actually make sense. He was so going to pull the best prank on her, but with love. He owed her a lot for this. 

He tried to sit up to get off the toy, it was too much and he knew he was crying from more than the overstimulation. But Markus pushed him back down and pulled away slightly, whipping away Connor's tears. "It's ok baby. Do you want to keep going? Maybe get you going again then I can actually fuck you, it'll be so much better than this. Is that what you want?" 

The audio for the video came from Connor so no matter how quiet Markus asked everyone would hear. Shit, everyone could see who they really were, that Markus was with him. 

"Blue," Connor mumbled, looking up at him through his eyelashes. "Markus, yes, but you know what this means. Everyone will know and be able to see this, it won't ever go away." It could negatively affect the public's opinion, but maybe it could make it better in an odd way. Show the world that they were so similar to humans in this way. 

"And with me. I can look like before if you want that version of me. I don't want you to regret this."

The hands cupping his face froze but then gently brushed over his cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. "I want all of you, Connor. I'm willing to be judged by my actions. Also, North I will kill you later." Ah so he was still connected to the stream, he was watching them together. Everyone was watching them. 

He took in a shaky breath and nodded. "I want you too."

Markus grinned and moved so he was behind Connor, letting the camera see everything as he dragged his hands down Connor's chest. He leaned back into him, letting his head rest on Markus's shoulder and closed his eyes. 

Soft, warm lips pressed into his neck and he let out a high pitched whimper. "It's so much, t-turn it down." 

Markus nipped at his skin and Connor's hips jerked against the toy. "This is what you get baby, you hid this for so long. Now I'm going to test to see how long you can last before you truly need me." 

"I need you now!" Connor pleaded, his toes curling. He put his hands up and back to rest around Markus's head. 

He needed to read the chat, fuck people were still spending coins and now they all knew. "Markus please!"

"No, you're going to be good for me and come at least one more time. And now you can say my name knowing I'm right here." Markus' hand dipped below the skirt and between his lips, taking over rubbing at his clit. 

His fingers were so warm and soft, and god so amazing. Connor loved to watch him whenever he played the piano or painted, those fingers elegantly moving or holding the brush. 

"Soon I can eat you out, suck on that beautiful pussy. I bet you'd taste so sweet." Markus pulled his hand away to lick his fingers and Connor's hips buckled forward. "You do, taste amazing. Wanna suck on my fingers while I play with you? Do you think your viewers would like that?"

Markus looked directly at the camera, daring anyone to say otherwise.yet the chat was only filled with affirmations and requests for more. "I think they do." 

Connor opened his mouth and took the two fingers in, licking in-between them then sucking hard. He rocked into Markus's hand when he finally started playing with him again. 

The lips were back on his neck, pressing hot kisses and nips. He moved towards the back of his neck and Connor rested his chin on his chest, it was too much energy to hold his head up. 

The tongue circling his neck port had his whole body jolting and he moaned around the fingers. He had no idea that felt so damn good, didn't even think to test it. 

Markus hummed and he could practically hear the smirk. "Our ports are highly sensitive, as is around biocomponents." 

He really wanted to ask how he knew but his mouth was busy and he was not going to make Markus stop. He tried to take the fingers in deeper, wanting Markus to gag him, yet they stayed so that he wouldn't. 

"Now, now, baby, I don't want to hurt you." But Connor knew Markus was Blue so Markus knew exactly what he liked and just wasn't giving it to him. 

He gave a small humpf and very gently nipped at his fingers. Markus shoved his fingers in and Connor struggled to get himself to relax, but fuck if that didn't feel good. 

"Connor!" Markus scolded and Connor didn't even try to act guilty, he had gotten what he wanted. Plus it's what Markus deserved for teasing him so damn much. 

He could feel himself getting close, his legs trying to close but he grabbed them to keep them apart. He didn't need to squish Markus's hand because he couldn't control himself. 

Markus's fingers sped up as the ones in his mouth started to push in and out, making it almost impossible to fully relax his throat. 

"Come on, baby. You've been a good boy, and I want you to come." Markus whispered in his ear before moving so he could lick around the port. That's all it took for Connor to come, but Markus quickly pulled him off the toy and laid him down, sucking on his clit. 

Connor's thighs held Markus's head in place, and he could feel when Markus moved to instead fuck him with his tongue. Connor's hips tried to jerk away once it all became too much, but Markus held him firmly by the hips. The skirt had been pushed up and bunched around his stomach, giving everyone the full view. 

Connor silently screamed, his back arching off the floor. Then he went completely limp, his legs falling open but still twitching with every little lick from Markus. 

Markus pulled back and crawled over Connor, aligning their bodies before leaning down to deeply kiss him. 

They kissed far longer than humans could, not having to breathe and both too caught up in one another to even remember they were on camera. No doubt the image of them kissing, Connor's hair a wild mess with one of Markus's hands in it while the other cupped his face, would be all over the news.

It was heated but also slow, letting them explore one another. Connor was kissing Markus, fully kissing him. Markus who was going to fuck him so hard he wouldn't be able to walk the next day. Would he stay with him afterward? Maybe this was just a one-time thing. 

Apparently, he was thinking too hard because Markus pulled back and tapped his flickering LED. "What's going on up there, Con?" 

Connor turned his head slightly away, a blush forming on his cheeks. He didn't exactly want to do this here or now, but he guessed it was better to get this over with. 

"Is this a one-time thing? Heat of the moment? I won't blame you for it, and I'm not going to regret it, but I need to know." He needed to be emotionally prepared if that was the case. He needed to be ready for the heartbreak because that was what would happen. His heart would break.

Markus pulled back and Connor let him, a small part already cracking. This was it. Markus would tell him that this was all it could ever be. Connor would keep to the shadows and try to pull his heart back together and move on. He could do it, it would hurt so bad, but he'd manage it. 

North would probably side with him too, not that he wanted anyone to have to take sides. He'd probably have to take a break from streaming and just throw himself into work, crashing at Hank's most nights. 

Markus gently grabbed Connor's wrist and pulled it up so their hands touched. Markus' hands were slightly thicker than Connor's but Connor's were also made for quick movements and precise shooting. 

But then both of their skins receded and Connor's breath caught. Markus gently pushed emotions onto Connor that took him a while to sort through, but the overall feeling he could get was love. He also saw all of Markus's memories and let his own mind relax enough to let Markus feel and see the same. 

It was only a second for the outside world but to Connor and Markus, it felt like hours. Their hands still pressed together and Connor looked at it and saw both of their hands glowing blue. The same blue the dildo was still glowing. Connor couldn't help but break into giggles, but they were still connected so Markus knew exactly what he was thinking.

They laced together and neither thought to end the connection. Connor pushed up off the floor and kissed him again, letting Markus feel everything he made Connor experience. The rush of joy and longing, wanting to be closer but also adoring the connection they already had through the kiss alone. 

Markus pressed their bodies together, and Connor could feel his hardness and then the arousal through the interface. 

Connor broke the kiss and wrapped his legs around Markus's hips. "I want you to fuck me." 

Markus nodded and used his one free hand to push down his pants some, then wiggled out of them, kicking it to the side. Connor tried to hide the smile, he was just so adorable, but he couldn't hide anything from Markus. 

Markus was so gentle as he lined himself up, leaning down to kiss him as he very slowly pushed in. He was a little thicker than the sybian but around the same length. Yet he still felt so much better, so much more alive. 

Not to mention that the interface had them in a loop of each other's pleasures so Markus knew exactly when to pause and when to push in deeper. 

Markus trailed kisses over Connor's jaw then down his throat, nipping harder than before. He'd leave the equivalent of hickeys on Connor for everyone to see. He mumbled sweet words into his skin until he could feel Connor was ready for more. 

They both moaned when Markus pulled almost completely out before snapping his hips forward. Connor's back arched off the floor again as he was truly fucked. 

Connor went to ask Markus how many times he came while watching Connor that night but before he could open his mouth he was supplied with the memory. He had come two times, the first when Connor had called his name and then right before Connor had come. 

Connor whined with each memory and Connor let Markus see everything from his view, each time Markus joined the stream and how excited he got. 

Markus inside him felt so good, but it was more than that. It was being able to actually feel the love Markus felt and the willingness to share anything and everything. He didn't hide the more painful memories from Connor and Connor did the same in return. He could trust Markus with all of him.

They kept rocking together, and Connor could feel Markus having to hold back from coming, but he wanted to feel it so badly. 

"Markus come on, force me to come, I need you." Connor whispered. Markus yanked on his hair and Connor yelped but it quickly turned into a moan.

Markus' hips jerked and then he buried himself deep and coming. Connor leaned into it, letting Markus's own pleasure carry him over. They both clung to each other, trying to somehow keep the sensation going but also not wanting to let go yet. 

Markus pulled him into a gentle kiss, soothing the hair he had just yanked on. Their hands stayed connected and Markus gave a small flick of his eyes to the camera, only then remembering he was still connected and they were still live. 

Connor sat up and sat himself in Markus's lap, completely wrapping around him and resting his head on Markus' shoulder hiding his face. He just needed a second to gain his composer back before he could face the camera again. 

"Want me to turn it off?" Markus whispered and Connor shook his head. 

Markus gently held him and didn't think of moving until Connor turned his head back to the camera with a shy smile. He always loved how bashful Connor became at the end of his streams. 

"Ah, ok hi everyone. So this wasn't planned, and I guess you all know who I am now. Sorry for not saying so in the beginning, but you can probably tell why. And uh, I had no idea Markus was Blue but I'm definitely glad if that's not obvious. I don't know if I'll be doing any more streams, but stay deviant." For that, he ended the video and buried his face in Markus's neck again. 

"What now?" He whispered, his fingers playing with Markus'. 

"Now I'm going to take care of you, baby. I'm going to make sure you've cleaned up and safe and then I'm going to cuddle with you if you want. Do you want that?" 

"Yeah," Connor nodded, "Yeah I do."

#kinktober #rk1000 #markus #rk800 #RK200 #dbh rk1000 #rk1k dbh #dbh rk1k #rk1k fic #rk1k #rk1000 fic #Connor #Connor Anderson #dbh markus #detroit markus #markus x connor #connor x markus #DBH #dbh fanfic #dbh fandom #dbh fic #connor dbh fanfic #markus manfred #detroit connor #detroid become human #detroit become human #Detroit: BH #detroit: become human

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told

(Note, if this post shows up twice or massively delayed or just looks weird, it’s because it was flagged for adult content [??!] because I had a picture of Willem Dafoe’s face in a gif. I am not even kidding. Do with that information what you will. I’ve removed it and I still don’t know if/when this can be publicly viewed, I’m kind of lolling. So if you see a blocked out photo that looks like porn in your post, I swear it’s just a gif from The Lighthouse!)

Hello, amazing people. This weekend, I’m putting the final touches on my last draft of Baghdad Waltz Chapter 39, which will then go to the beta for one more round of edits. I imagine I will have the chapter posted in 1-3 weeks, which is close to record speed for me, especially since it’s around 30k words. I’m going to be talking about my writing process (at unfortunate length) for one of the asks, for those who are interested. 

Please forgive me. I’m feeling quite verbose and a little squirrely. I blame living alone during lockdown. 

It’s also Memorial Day weekend in the States, which is when we are meant to honor those who gave their lives in military service to this country. This is often confused with Veterans Day (November 11), which is honoring anyone who has served in the military and is no longer serving. This gets further confused with Armed Forces Day (rotating date, May) which is to honor those currently serving in the military. I know, super confusing. 

There’s a wide range of opinions on how Memorial Day should be commemorated, which often involves gathering with friends and family for a barbecue or some other social activity. It’s the first major holiday after a huge holiday drought throughout the late winter and spring, which often makes people look forward to it immensely. Some people feel it’s inappropriate to celebrate Memorial Day with barbecues and fond social gatherings because it’s dishonoring the memories of those who can’t be here, people don’t take time to remember those who have died, people have no idea what the day is actually for, etc. Others, even some very vocal veterans, maintain that people died so that we could be here to celebrate in freedom, so why not relish this life we have? Many offer the caveat that it’s appropriate to at least acknowledge the purpose of the day, even if it’s just in a few minutes of quiet reflection. 

Anyway, I offer this as a little food for thought for this upcoming long weekend. 

(And in case you missed it, I posted a BW Timeline for your reference.) 

Contains spoilers through Chapter 38.

[Takes deep breath]

I’m so glad that you are enjoying the read and that you’re finding it inspiring for your own work. I think my dedication to research for BW is threefold. 1) As this story evolved, I decided that I wanted to create the most realistic depictions of military, civilian, emotional, and physical life that I reasonably could. I will fully admit to lapses in this, deliberate and unintentional, because sometimes the plot just needs to go and I can’t wait around for a year-long medical discharge process for my character. 2) I’m in an academically stringent occupation, and because research is such a prominent part of my work life, it’s bled to my hobby. (IS THIS EVEN A HOBBY ANYMORE?) And 3) I get very easily and passionately obsessed with things and delight in getting “into the weeds” with a subject. Almost every research divergence usually takes me off track for at least an hour. And you will never catch me without an MTA subway map open in at least one tab.

But that wasn’t even your question! Sorry. Are you beginning to get a sense of why BW takes me so long to write?? I cannot keep my shit on track. As for the bibliography, YES! I plan to include that in my author’s note at the end. I wish I had kept better track of all of my works consulted over the past three years, but I will definitely discuss the importance of some of the main ones. I’m so thrilled that you are interested, and I’m excited to share them!

Thank you. This is such a kind thing to say, and I’m humbled and delighted to hear it, especially because our fandom is so blessed with some AMAZING fics. And asks certainly don’t have to be questions! I appreciate them all (except the flaming bag of dog shit ones, which I haven’t had in a while, hooray).

(Re: Chapter 37) Good question! I imagine Claire would want to keep the 1:1 conversation somewhat limited, as she is treating the couple as a patient rather than them as individuals. If anything, she might have somewhat superficially checked in to see if he was okay rather than dive into anything regarding the relationship with Bucky not around. That could be seen as a betrayal of trust to Bucky and could be interpreted as favoritism, which Steve craves and which Bucky is probably terrified about.

I am always pleased when people re-read and enjoy it or get new things out of it, even if it’s sometimes a re-read is a function of my slow-ass writing. I really want a story with good re-read value.

You make an excellent point about Bucky’s relationships. His friendship with Jack also had no real closure. Sometimes this is a factor of circumstance and sometimes it’s because of his avoidance, like a self-fulfilling prophesy almost. He’s learned that people betray you, either by hurting you or dying, so he creates conditions sometimes (often unwittingly) for things to go sour and end poorly, or he will simply make himself disappear so that he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to wait to see if he will be abandoned or betrayed. He’s not a guy who is good with goodbyes.

As for Thor, I totally see how it would read that way. I think Thor started out fishing for longer-term possibilities in a romantic relationship but then realized Bucky is really not a guy who is comfortable settling (which, as we can see, is true). As for why it seems more serious, one thing is that Thor still wanted Bucky in his life as a friend, possibly one with benefits. They have a lot in common, and it’s hard for veterans - and, more specifically, special operators - to find people in their lives they can relate to with these very intense life experiences. I wanted this to be a real relationship, but maybe not necessarily one that was bound to become a RELATIONSHIP. I think Bucky was very intriguing and attractive to him, and he very well may have struggled with his own vacillation between whether to take it seriously or whether to remain friends+. This can lead to mixed messages.

And we also have to remember Bucky’s notoriously unreliable narration, where he will see what he wants to see. Our perspective comes from him. We see the details he zooms in on, miss the one he ignores, view the relationship through the lens of his own contentious desire for a real relationship, even as he consistently demonstrates the lack of capacity and his fear about getting serious. I imagine Bucky has having an extremely poor ability to distinguish friendship from romance, and why wouldn’t he, given the most recent bit of history we have learned about him with Jack? He’s had a series of friendships become sexualized, and I think this affects his capacity to be discerning. Bucky’s radar for relating, whether friendships, romance, or potentially dangerous sexual situations, is terribly mis-calibrated. How confusing for him and for the people in his life. Of course, everyone is free to interpret the dynamics of any relationship however they choose. These are just some of my thoughts.

I really appreciate observations from the re-read! Thank you!

I watched the video and you are right! This is definitely a Bucky song. Bucky’s sense of self is by turns profoundly distorted and lacking in grounding, especially now that he’s not in the military. He’s been in a low key existential crisis since he was a kid and has turned to drinking and sex and war to fill this horrible void, and although I can’t speak for what the artists here intended, I certainly sensed those elements here for sure. (Also, what an interesting choice for a music video…)

Thank you for sharing! I’ll add it to the unofficial BW playlist in the author’s note, which consists of various songs people have associated with BW and shared with me.

Good question! I started off this story picturing the actors who represent the characters in the MCU, because I figured we’d be picturing that when we read the fic anyway (though my beta told me she doesn’t see them as the actors, more like artists’ renderings of the characters, which I find interesting). So when describing their physicality, I tend to refer back to the MCU, since this is technically an MCU AU. But the longer I go with the story, the murkier the resemblance feels to me, especially when I think about Bucky, IDK why. I have also been considering doing something more with BW after I finish it (i.e., converting it into a proper not-bajillion-word novel, sunk cost and whatnot), in which case I would definitely change the characters’ appearance, names, cut MCU Easter eggs, etc. So when I try to think of who these people might be in future iterations of the story, things get even more blurred in my mind when I imagine them.

I wonder how other people see them??

So, with regards to PTSD clinical teams, there is some variation across VAs in the system. Some focus more on military-related trauma, whether it’s war, military sexual trauma, accidents, etc. as a way of concentrating their services and managing supply and demand. From talking with providers in these kinds of systems, sometimes you just NEED a military-related trauma, but you can be treated for, say, a childhood trauma if it’s more pressing. Other VAs are very open in their criteria, and you can see them for pretty much any kind of trauma that qualifies diagnostically for PTSD (or sub-threshold PTSD) without question. That’s why I love the expression “If you’ve been to one VA, you’ve been to one VA.” That said, it kind of doesn’t matter what kind of PTSD clinical team is at the VA in Manhattan, because Bucky has so much military trauma that he would very likely qualify to receive services in any PTSD clinical team. They just might focus on childhood stuff (if Bucky actually let them, which is another matter entirely).

This is a great question! Thanks for asking.

I love a snarky asshole Bucky so much, and I’ve tried to temper this version of him with enough hard-earned genuineness to offset it a little bit. It’s such a tender balance with him, because if you back him too far into a corner, he’s going to let you have it. But if you give him too much space, it’s hard to pin him down and wring something honest from him. He’s definitely learned to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from painful or uncomfortable situations, and it’s a very adaptive short-term strategy that makes him both endearing and infuriating to others.

But ugh, yeah, shit gets so rough around Chapter 28/29. I don’t know how to feel when people have really strong emotional reactions to this story, because one part of me doesn’t want to contribute to the crappy feelings people may already be struggling with — especially in the times of COVID — but I don’t want to be afraid to dive into the hurt these characters are experiencing. That’s why I recommend checking in with oneself before reading to get a sense of how much emotional bandwidth is available to manage the immense problems of two people struggling so much. I also think that for some people it can be cathartic or otherwise not-bad maybe (?), based on the feedback I’ve received. I also really try hard to balance out the painful stuff with growth, even though it can be terribly difficult to locate sometimes.

In comments to folks, and here, I often talk about adjusting the ticks on your measuring stick for progress, where instead of leaps of progress over feet/meters, we may be observing things on an inch/mm scale. This story is my most sincere effort at a “recovery is not linear” narrative, which I think is so much more reflective of real life for a lot of folks than a straight upward trajectory. Humans are such creatures of habit, and the lessons these characters have learned through their lives about themselves, trust, relationships, and how to manage emotions are very deeply ingrained — often through traumatic means. These are the lessons learned the hardest, with the greatest perceived consequences for change, and it takes real courage for us to be able to try new things even once, let alone to establish a reliable pattern of behavior. This can lead to a lot of frustration for us as readers/writer, and I come from a place of this being okay, because we are encountering a parallel process with the characters, who are frustrated with each other and themselves about the same things. I do hope the pain/progress/joy ratios are not horribly out of whack most of the time. That’s another reason I like long chapters, because if this was just blips of sometimes terrible episodes in shorter form, I think it would be very challenging to not lose hope entirely.

But I’m so glad you’re finding the read meaningful, even if it’s sometimes painful and difficult.

(YES.)

And FINALLY -- (this is all soooo long, I’m so sorry.)

Oh, thank you for this question! My spreadsheet ended up getting too difficult to manage, and I actually had a small crisis six months ago about how the fic was going to end, because it just didn’t feel right. I had to scrap it and go back to the drawing board and really ask myself - what would these characters really do? Naturally, as a factor of their psychologies and circumstances, how will they bring this story to an end? Some advice I once heard about a “satisfying” ending is that it’s the place where there’s simply nothing more to say about the characters. There’s no more story to tell. I had to abandon all of my desires  and ideas for a particular ending or concerns about making people sad or happy or excited or disappointed. I know that the only ending that will be satisfying is one that makes sense for these people. Anything contrived or backward-engineer-y wouldn’t feel right to anyone. I do have a couple of specific character arc things I want to happen, so I set those down as touchstones and said, okay, what would happen next? What would Steve do with this? And what would Bucky do with this? And what would they do with the thing the other person did? I take a very psychology and prior-behavior-based approach to plotting, almost all character driven. The rest is just figuring out what is supposed to go where and how to organize it.

I’ve converted everything to a Google Doc and have a very basic outline where I write plotty-plot stuff. I also have a “garbage dump” doc where I write certain lines I want to use or certain details I want to include somewhere. When I get into a new chapter, I’ll check the dump doc as I outline and write to see if I want to pluck anything from there. I have my outline open regularly to add to it. Sometimes I write scenes out of order, dialogue first, but that’s only if I really am excited about a particular scene and cannot contain myself. Otherwise, I write completely chronologically and have no buffer. I post things as soon as I write them.

As for your specific questions, I do have a “process” for getting into my characters’ heads. It helps to know them so very well and to have a firm sense of their idiosyncrasies and patterns of behavior. As you may have noticed, they repeat their patterns all. the. time, as humans do, but I also want to have them change their behaviors a little as things go and they progress. So I may wonder what they could do a little differently, why they would WANT to behave differently, and imagine what they would need to do to change their behavior. Do they need to take breaths? Do they remember the last time some shit went down? I really try to think of the “how” and “why” of every single action - from big blowouts to eye rolls.

So once I’ve figured out what they are going to do, I try to pinpoint the associated emotions I want to highlight. This is a whole separate process, because I have to think also about their internal versus their external emotional states. Steve, for example, will often have a discrepant inside and outside, because one of the truths about his character is that he is a chronic suppressor. There is also the issue of unreliable narration and interpretation of behavior. Steve might do something in a scene, but that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to interpret it the way it was intended. I have to think about their individual filters, which often reflect their internal beliefs about themselves. Bucky is more likely to read Steve’s actions as reflections of how BUCKY feels about HIMSELF (e.g., he’s disgusted by me because I’m disgusting) rather than imagine what Steve is really thinking based on his own experiences and beliefs about Bucky. I also attempt to convey some of the more second and third layer emotions that people have in situations, rather than only highlighting the primary emotion. Sad things don’t always just make people sad. Powerful emotions, for example, might make Steve feel out of control of himself, which could generate secondary emotions for him like frustration because he’s losing control. Part of the process in the construction of the narrative is also scrubbing what I’ve written for POV, because Bucky’s word choices aren’t the same as Steve’s, and in order to try to preserve the “voice” of each character, I often have to change the words I’ve opted to use, as well as the syntax.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of layering that is happening all the time. As for the dialogue, I have no compunction about saying the lines aloud, “acting” them to see how they sound, to get a sense of what tone I want them to say things in. Now that I think of it, I do a bit of movement-based stuff, thinking about how people sit and stand, figuring how many steps it takes to get from A-Z, what it would look like to lean against something, how it would feel on the body, etc. I try to get the most felt sense of things as I can. If I’m imagining a scene, I try to put myself in the shoes of the characters to the point where I feel the emotions, just so I can know how it reflects in my body and my mind and behavior. I have more than once gotten drunk and drunk-written drunk Bucky then gone to clean it up later, as drunk writing can generate some great content I never would have been able to come up with sober, but the form, grammar, spelling, etc. is often rubbish. I also talk a LOT to my beta about all of this stuff, and I have certain friends and acquaintances in the fandom who are my consultants for various things.

So, I’m somewhat method I guess?? Is that a thing?? I dunno. It’s not hard to do when you live and breathe a story. It’s required a deep level of interest in - quite possibly an obsession with - the characters and their lives. I adore my characters, not in a self-congratulatory way, but because they feel so real to me. So it’s a joy to plan and write -- though I do hate first drafts with a passion.

OH - I also sometimes fast-draft chapters, which I did for 39. That is, write as FAST AS YOU CAN with no regard for how shitty the writing is. I wrote 10k words in a week, which was a finished fast-draft for me, and thus I had a very good felt sense of what was going to happen in the chapter, which felt amazing. It requires intensive outlining before, and nearly every word had to be rewritten, but one of the greatest frustrations of a story for me is having blank space ahead. Re-writing is way more fun than first draft writing. I have fluffed it up twofold with higher quality content, which I did all in less than two months…!! 

-------------------------

Well, this is surely my most unnecessarily yammering YAIT in history. But I hope it at least conveys my enthusiasm for these wonderful asks! It’s so lovely to hear from all of you, even if I take an eon to get back to you. Hang in there, everyone!

@grimshady @hutchhitched​ @b0n3l3ssm1lk​ 

(And thank you to @bae-buckyaboveeverything​ for the shout out. You made my day<3)

#you asked #baghdad waltz #asks

[zmediaoutlet]

fic: slow as you can go

This story was written as a commission for @armellin and @jesusonthetortillas, to illustrate this lovely J2 pic Armellin created.

Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: E Tags: Non-AU ‘Canon’ Divergence, Established Relationship, Married Sex Summary: After a convention, Jared and Jensen come home for a brief break. They've earned it.

(read on AO3)

Plane travel will never be Jared's favorite thing—it's probably never going to crest the top thousand of his favorite things—but flying first class definitely makes it better. Actual legroom, for one, and constant booze for another. He stretches out, trying to ignore the constant annoying hum from the engines and the wind against the fuselage, and sips at what may well be his third gin and tonic—but who's counting. Lime and bitter, and it's good, but not as good as what's waiting for them at home.

Thinking of home makes him tip his head to the side against the soft seatback. He smiles. The view in first isn't half-bad, either.

Jensen's sleeping, again. He hasn't shaved all weekend and the stubble's coming in that golden-red color that drives Jared crazy, a little. He doesn't think Jensen's noticed the way Jared likes to run his lips against it, but then again Jensen's pretty observant, about all things Jared, so maybe he has. Doesn't matter either way; it's not like Jared's gonna stop. It's a midmorning flight and most of their fellow passengers are absorbed in whatever high-level business crap they have going on with their laptops, and there's not a flight attendant hovering asking if they need anything. Safe to take a moment and run his knuckles against all that prickly stubble, feel the reverse-grain burn of it against his skin. He really cannot wait to get home.

Jensen makes a soft upset sound, deep in his throat. Whoops. When he stirs into blinking awake Jared makes an apologetic grimace—well-practiced from work, although Sam usually actually feels apologetic and Jared doesn't, right now, not really. Jensen squints at him, clearly still half-gone, and Jared whispers, "Sorry," but he strokes Jensen's jaw again, soft, so it probably doesn't come off as all that genuine.

A beat of Jensen only blinking at him, fuzzy. He presses into Jared's knuckles for the barest second, like a cat, before he scrunches further down in his chair, closes his eyes again. "Keep it in your pants for a few more hours, Jay," he says, scratchy-low. Jared scoffs, and Jensen's mouth turns up at the corners but he's really settled in, going back to sleep for whatever time he has left. Lazy.

Jared sighs, puts his earbuds in. According to the flight map on the seat they've got about eight hundred miles left to get back home. That'll get him through Vs. and most of Vitalogy before he's got to face the real world again, and they'll be a good distraction, will stop him from bothering Jensen before he's allowed. Sometimes he really hates Jensen's no PDA rule, but hell. Doesn't mean he can't make all kinds of plans, in the privacy of his own head.

*

Over the years of flying all over the country—all over the world, now, with the conventions overseas—they've pretty well perfected getting out of an airport in record time, and from wheels-down at Austin-Bergstrom it takes them less than an hour to pull into their driveway. Home's a gorgeous spread on the lake, a long private drive and mature trees all over the grounds. The house is a compromise: Jensen thought it was too much space, and Jared thought the layout was too weird, but the private dock won them both over. Jared's gladder every day that they pulled the trigger, though, and gladder still that they've been able to maintain some semblance of privacy. No Insta-pictures here, no interviewers allowed. Means that when Jensen pulls the Range Rover into the garage there's no one trying to peep in and see what they're doing, no weird fans or photographers to see Jared lean over as soon as Jensen puts it into park and palm his jaw and pull him in and kiss him. Startled at first, but then he smiles against Jared's mouth and kisses back, slow and shallow.

"You've been waiting to do that all day," Jensen murmurs, when Jared pulls back, and Jared shrugs, not denying it. He's been waiting to do a lot more. He drags his thumb over the beginnings of Jensen's beard again, looks at him. The garage's huge windows let in a wave of late-morning light, casts gold over Jensen's eyes, sparks his lashes and stubble golden-red. Shows off his freckles, and the shine on his lip that Jared left. He touches there, a swell of heat in his belly, and Jensen smiles again but catches his hand before he can do more. "C'mon. Let's get this done."

Jared sighs. "Do we have to?" Jensen only rolls his eyes, and kisses Jared's thumb. "Fine," Jared says, "but you owe me."

"Oh, I bet," Jensen says, but he swings out of the car then, too, and Jared's got no choice but to follow. There are things they should do, it's true. And hell, they have today off, and tomorrow too, before they have to fly back to Vancouver. They have time. They've made the time.

Jensen's in charge of sorting out the laundry, because he says that he can't trust Jared to empty the pockets right—total lies—and so Jared takes the time to go through the house, room by room. Saying hello, and checking up, too. They've got paid caretakers, gardeners and Maricela who comes by twice a week to dust up and clean, but it's still their house. Jared misses it, like a dope, when they're gone. Most of the curtains are drawn, by Maricela's habit, and he opens them up, lets all the light in. The living room, the den, the lounge where they regularly trounce Steve at pool, when they actually get to be home. The kitchen, and there the little neat list Maricela left of things she had to buy, things she threw out, and a note that she made salsa and left it in the fridge.

That's where Jensen finds Jared, when he comes back downstairs with a laundry basket. "I see you're hard at work," he says, dry, but he lets Jared put a salsa-laden chip in his mouth anyway, and hums. Damn right. Maricela's tomatillo salsa is worth taking a break for. "Mm, okay," Jensen says, through a full mouth. "Okay, fair. But, dude."

"I'm going, I'm going," Jared says, and caps the salsa back up, promising to get back to it later.

He goes and plugs in both of their phones, and sits in the office with the window open, jasmine-smell pouring in, while he emails their reps. A handful of pictures they each took, to be parted out on their SM for the fans to get excited about over the next few days, and a couple of quotes and stories to write up. Jared gave up control of his Twitter a year or two ago after the last time he had a bad day and was an idiot, and Jensen took his phone right out of his hand and grabbed him around the waist and said, Enough, Jay. Annoying at the time, but honestly, it's so much more relaxing to just be… cut off.

Still, sometimes he does like to see what people are posting. That photographer who's been following them around got some good shots, looks like. He scrolls through the feed. Nice pictures of the ladies—Brianna and Kim have really been glamming it up lately—and he laughs hard enough at a ridiculous cap of Misha that he has to text it over, with no comment, and a minute later gets a brief I hate you in response. He grins, tosses his phone back down to charge, and finally ventures into some of the fan shots in the hashtag. He's trained himself pretty well not to read the commentary—the options seem to be either fawning, which is uncomfortable, or vile, which is what it is—but from what he can't help but see people seem to have enjoyed it. Since they moved in together, some of the nuttier girls have gone off the deep end, but for the most part things quieted down. Now there's just a lot of happy encouragement sent their way. A lot of real, intense messages, too, and questions at conventions he wishes he had a better answer for. If only they'd managed to make it happen when those it gets better videos were going around. It got so much better, he wants to say. Not perfect, because nothing's perfect and never should be, but oh, man. It got a lot better.

"That's a good one," he hears, and blinks back to reality, after who knows how long. The picture on the screen's one of them—of course, one of them—taken by one of the girls in the audience. From the angle Jensen's face is the only one visible, and he looks… Well, really, Jared's the only one who should see him like that. The girls are always clever with their timing, though. Jensen comes up and leans over the back of his chair. "You know when that was?"

Jared shrugs. "Yesterday?" he says, and Jensen flicks the back of his shoulder. It's true, though—on stage everything turns into a blur. They were doing a bit, probably, because they usually are, but they're basically hugging. No PDA, that's always Jensen's rule, but there's no way Jared's not going to hug Jensen, given the opportunity. No matter how earsplitting the response.

"You don't remember?" Jensen says, and Jared looks up, over his shoulder. He's getting an amused look. "So you're just a little shit without even planning it?"

"I'm an enormous shit, thank you very much," Jared says, immediately, but then he remembers. "Oh, yeah."

"Oh, yeah, he says," Jensen says, rolling his eyes, and then shoves Jared's shoulder so the chair spins when Jared laughs. "Yeah, laugh it up. Like I wasn't trying to think about saggy ass and reshoots in the rain when you were just grinning up a storm, shithead."

Jared catches him around the waist, still chuckling. "I really didn't mean to," he says, and it's—mostly honest. Jensen folds his arms, playing irritated, but Jared's been watching him about to break for a gag reel for over a decade now and he can see the cracks. He stands up, still holding onto his waist, and gets right up in his space, looking down, grinning. "Not my fault you're all hot and bothered for my bod."

That gets him a snort, and he leans down and takes a kiss while Jensen's smiling. That was—yeah, he remembers now. Right there, in front of everyone, and he'd gotten to come in close and hold Jensen's body and he'd brushed his mouth against the top of Jensen's ear, and the little sound Jensen made wasn't one the mics would pick up. He pulls back, now, and watches Jensen licks his lips. Tasting them both. God, it's hot when he does that. Jared keeps hold of his waist and walks him backwards, pressing him up against the wall between the signed Pearl Jam poster and Jensen's framed Willie records, and Jensen's eyes are closed, his ears going red, and that's a perfect opportunity to lean in and down and breathe against his ear again, to brush his lips there, to feel Jensen give that full-body shiver that means—oh, yeah. They're on.

"Like that?" Jared says, and Jensen punches him soft in the gut. He says oof, obligingly, but he's smiling.

"Right in front of everybody," Jensen says, looking up. He licks his lips again, his eyes on Jared's mouth. "You know that drives me crazy, Jay."

"Yeah, I know," Jared says, shrugging, and Jensen rolls his eyes, but he squeezes Jared's bicep, too, curves in close, and Jared kisses him again and thinks, well, maybe he'll be in some trouble—later.

They've been together a long time, though. It's not a crazy, heady rush—not even close to their first time, all shock and teeth and shoving, good and painful and intense enough that Jared thought his heart would just beat right out of his chest. Jensen holds his arm, holds him close there against the wall, kisses him soft and lazy. He makes a little pleased noise when Jared scrapes teeth over his lip, tips his nose against Jared's. "Wanna shower," he mumbles, and Jared groans, stands up straight. With Jensen down to his socks, pressed back against the wall, Jared's got the advantage, and Jensen—yeah, that's working for him. Another thing about being together this long: Jared knows exactly how to push every button.

He lets Jensen lead the way down the hall to their bedroom, and then to the huge open bath. "Music?" Jared says, and Jensen shrugs, and so Jared flips through his phone and finds the playlist with the name Jensen hates: funky grooves to fuck to—but the name's accurate. Slow grinds, heavy bass, and when it comes on to the surround speakers Jensen pauses in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt to give Jared a look over his shoulder. Jared only grins and shrugs at him, perching his ass on the bathroom counter, and Jensen gives a sigh but he keeps stripping, so it's all good in Jared's book.

Big window across the back wall of the bathroom, letting in more of that syrupy daylight. They haven't been able to get out much lately and Jensen's skin has gone all creamy again, freckles fainter, except on his cheekbones and hands where they never really fade. He flips on the shower, strips off his jeans, and he doesn't look at Jared when he steps under the water, which is just as well because Jared's pretty sure he's got a dorky goddamn look on his face. Years and years of this and he's used to most of it, even sometimes takes some of what they have for granted. Jensen naked and shining in the sunlight, though, that's—a lot, no matter what. Jensen letting him see, when he used to be almost shy—that's more, sometimes, than Jared knows how to take.

That first time isn't the one Jared thinks about, much. Too much booze in both of them, and too much of a chance for regret. The second time, that's the one he thinks of as their real anniversary. That night, at Jensen's apartment in Vancouver, and the doorman had let Jared up because he saw Jared about as much as he saw Jensen, and that meant that Jared got all the way up there fueled on adrenaline and hope and knocked on the door before he thought that maybe, maybe Jensen wouldn't—that maybe they'd broken something, between them, and putting it back together wasn't in the cards. When Jensen opened the door he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt Jared had given him, and he was wearing his glasses, and the look on his face was—Jared's never forgotten that. That exact moment, right then. What came after was almost immaterial, compared to that single second.

What came after wasn't exactly a hardship, though, and between them they've always been good at this. When Jared steps under the spray and touches all that wet soft skin Jensen doesn't flinch, but only tips backward, knowing Jared will balance him. "What if I just dropped you?" Jared says, and Jensen huffs, turning so the shower scatters over his shoulders.

"You think that'll increase your chances of getting any," Jensen says, sliding his hands up Jared's chest, "go ahead and try it."

It's a great shower, multiple showerheads and plenty of room for two. They pass soap back and forth between them, getting clean-ish, and Jensen spends some time mapping the muscle in Jared's back, his ass, his thighs. In return Jared washes Jensen's hair, just to massage his scalp and neck and feel the way he almost purrs in response, and presses kisses all over his shoulders when he's done. He's always loved this part—broad, undeniably masculine, perfect. "What do you want?" he says, leaning in, and he's really asking. They have all day, they can do anything.

Jensen's hand finds his hip, squeezes. His head tips, and Jared finds the curve of his ear again, kisses at the back of it. Gets another shiver, Jensen's shoulders pressing wet and warm against his chest. "I want it…" Jensen trails off, and shakes his head. He detaches Jared's hand from his waist, lifts it, presses his mouth against Jared's knuckles soft and wet and shocking-hot, and his eyes when they meet Jared's are heavy, dark, steady.

Dried off, laid out on their bed with the music still playing, Jensen leans over Jared's chest and kisses him, open-mouthed and taking his time about it. He's always loved kissing and Jared's come to love it too, even if he always used to think of it as just a preamble when he was younger. Jensen's taught him a lot, over the years. How good it is just to lay together, and how good a silk-blend coverlet feels against his skin, and how the point of his jaw can get almost painfully sensitive when Jensen's hands are buried in his hair, and Jensen's mouth moves there, and his teeth scrape against that open curve of bone. "Jesus," Jared says, squirming like he always does, and Jensen laughs, ducks down and bites at his collarbone instead, and oh, yeah. Things Jared never knew he liked, never knew were even a thing. Jensen squeezes at his dick, heavy already with blood and wanting, but it's not a yanking goad into getting along with things—it's just familiar, almost kind. Hello.

More things Jared didn't know: how much Jensen likes it, that Jared's bigger than him. He pushes Jensen onto his back, after a while of Jensen playing, and rolls in so he's hovering, blocking Jensen from the sunlight, and they're pressed against each other hip to hip but Jared's still got five inches on him—four, if Jensen's lying to the press—and Jensen's already flushed, already hard, all open and ready for it, but his lips part in that fantastic turned-on way, getting Jared above him, and Jared smiles, slides his hand down Jensen's side. Other things Jared didn't know: how much he'd like that Jensen wanted him bigger. "Want to suck my dick?" Jared says, soft, and Jensen's eyes screw closed, his hips flinch up into Jared's, but he breathes out a moan, and Jared lifts up, shuffles up the bed on his knees, and Jensen wraps an arm around his hips and a hand around his dick and sucks it in, practiced, easy. So slick, soft, and Jared sighs and cups a hand around the back of his head to support him and fucks in, shallow but good. Middle-of-the-night whispering, years ago, and Jensen had admitted he liked the way his jaw felt sore, after, and Jared had almost busted a nut just thinking about it—easy enough to indulge Jensen, especially when it feels this goddamn good.

"You look incredible," he says, being nothing but honest. Pink flush over his cheekbones to his ears, streaking down his throat—his perfect mouth broken open over the thickness of Jared's dick—and he opens his eyes, looks up as he slides down as far as he can go, the head threatening his throat, and the slight sheen of tears is just—god, god, how did Jared ever get this lucky? He pulls back, all the way out with his prick gleaming all over with Jensen's wet, the vein gleaming, and Jensen sucks in a deep breath, licks his lips, and groans when Jared slides all the way deep again, and digs his nails into Jared's ass to keep him going.

They've got enough practice that Jared won't come from this, but god is it tempting. A long, slow rut in, and he knows Jensen could take it faster, but that's not how he wants to play it. He pulls out when his nuts start to clutch up for real, and Jensen gasps and holds his hips and says, rasping, "Fuck," and Jared can't do anything but agree. He leans down, dick dragging wet over Jensen's stomach while he finds his lips to kiss them, tasting himself, massaging the sore worked muscle in Jensen's cheeks. "Good?" he says, and Jensen moans, holds him, thighs clutching around Jared's hips when they settle together. He's still hard, harder, pressing thick against Jared's abs, and Jared tries to keep his head clear but it's tough, honestly, when he has Jensen like this.

"Tell me what you want?" he says, lips on Jensen's cheek, at the corner of his eye where tears leaked, when Jared pushed too deep. "C'mon, talk to me, tell me."

"Fucker," Jensen breathes, pressing up into him. "You know."

"Yeah," Jared says, against his temple, "but I want you to tell me anyway."

A game, sometimes. How raw he can get Jensen to be. "Fuck me," Jensen says, voice sore, and Jared laughs, breathless and delighted, his gut clutching up crazily at how good that sounds out of Jensen's mouth.

"How?" he says, pushing his luck, and Jensen pushes at his chest, forces him up so they can look at each other, and Jensen's eyes are nearly black and his lips are battered-red, and he says, "Like this," unexpected and low and soft, his fingers touching Jared's throat, and he says, "I want to see you," and Jared swallows, nods, doesn't have to say anything else.

Jensen doesn't need much prep anymore, and Jared doesn't want to make him wait. Slicked up, he dips his thumb in and watches Jensen's mouth part, and then he gathers Jensen's thigh up against his side and leans in close and pushes his dick inside, blooming past the resistance, going slow, and watches all of Jensen's attention turn inward. They've traded back and forth on this and Jared knows the feeling, that crazy stretch—but oh, from this side, that clutching tightness, squeeze of Jensen's body, feeling him all the way, it's like—nothing else. No one else. "Yeah?" he says, pointless, like he doesn't know, and Jensen blinks, refocuses, sinks his hand into Jared's hair and turns his face away from the sunlight and presses his lips against Jared's bicep, and he mumbles, slow, and Jared takes it like the command it is, and stays buried up close with his heart throbbing in his gut for a full minute before he twists his hips back and presses in again, following the beat of the slow bass playing, a steady pulsing rock. Jensen groans, his back arching, and Jared buries his face in Jensen's throat and does his duty, fucking good and deep and slow, giving everything he can, as long as he can.

The sounds Jensen makes—the smell of him, the sweat between them. Jared keeps his eyes closed, feels his skin, his pulse throbbing under Jared's lips. His balls ache but it's that sweet ache of a good fuck, his muscles humming like he's midway through a marathon. Jensen's got an arm wrapped around his neck, a hand on his chest, his legs clutched up high around Jared's waist, and inside he's melting-soft, broken-open-wet, his dick leaking slick all over Jared's stomach. Slow like this, Jared's not chasing anything and he gets to feel every inch, his skin an oversensitive tingle, hot from his lips to his nipples to his fingertips, overaware of every place they're touching.

Too hot, finally—the sun's sunk down, slicing through the bedroom windows, making the bed a pool of light. "Oh, god," Jared says, sliding a hand to Jensen's hip, squeezing. He rolls his forehead against Jensen's collarbone, humps in and stays there, pressed deep, grinding, so Jensen makes a hiccupy noise keep in his chest. "Yeah, that's it. Come on."

"Fuck," Jensen says, squirming against him, and his legs fall open, his thighs shaking. "Oh, I—Jay—yeah, come on, do it."

Jared drags in a breath, pushes up, finds Jensen red-faced and sweaty, his shoulders and chest shining. "Yeah?" he says, but there's no answer—he shoves in, harder, and Jensen lifts into it and groans, gripping at Jared's ass to pull him in deeper, and then that's—that's it. All the permission Jared needed, and he fucks like he means it, then, long deep in-and-out that's dragging at the absolute limits of his control, but he wants to get Jensen there first—and he's getting there, Jared knows he is, by how his hands clutch and his chest is heaving and how his dick's a dark urgent swell against his belly, dragging between them, a trail of wet spilling down Jensen's side. He balances on one arm and slides careful fingers around Jensen's balls, rubs them warm and tucks them up close against Jensen's body, and Jensen opens his eyes and stares at him, looking surprised somehow in the middle of all this. "Come on, baby," Jared whispers, slipping his thumb over the strained wet root of Jensen's pretty dick, and Jensen grabs at his arm and arches up and comes, finally, spurting all over his soft belly, his body straining and clutching at Jared's and ah, ah fuck, Jared did that for him, Jared made that happen—and Jared fucks him through it, keeps up that same steady pace and nails him right there where he needed it, where he wanted it as long as he could get it, until Jensen's thighs cringe and he presses his fingers against Jared's belly and he makes a low pained ah—and Jared pulls back, out, into cruel cold air for a half-second before he strips his dick as fast as he can go, the visual in front of him more than enough—Jensen sprawled and sweat-soaked and well-fucked, shuddering and sensitive, and his eyes open and his fingers curl against Jared's sides and he says, yeah, give it to me, show me, and Jared shoots over his knuckles, spatters Jensen's hip and the still-thick curve of his dick and his thigh, and Jensen sighs, as satisfied as though it were him who got to come a second time. He reaches for Jared, easy demand, and Jared goes, collapsing down onto the welcome stretch of his body, smearing everything between them, and it's worth it to find Jensen's mouth, soft, starting once again to smile.

#j2 fic #j2 non-au #my writing #commission #please admire the art piece really #it's so soft and good

[polygamyff]

52. Part 4

The silence in this room is deafening, it just shows that Maurice and Reign fill this home, I mean Krista is nice but still. I have no idea what to do with myself in this big home, now this is why I want more babies, for this reason, fill this home with love “I will never get used to this skype business” my mother answered “well mom, if you want to see my beautiful face then you need too” I smiled seeing my mother’ face “I know, I miss you. Look at you, you are glowing” pulling a face “really? I don’t know why; I am bored by the way. I have no Maurice or Reign” I pouted “you said in text that they have gone to Spain; they will be back soon. Are you ok with Maurice going there?” my mom asked “mhmm I am mom, since I know how Joy is. I feel like he needs that love, who am I to stop that. I have stopped being a bitch towards it anyways, I will show you. He posted some pictures on his Instagram, some bikini clad ladies but” grabbing my phone from the side of me, unlocking my phone and tapping on my Insta “bikini clad ladies? I am guessing you are not happy about that?” typing in Maurice’ name “well mother, I don’t know. I haven’t said anything to him because, I mean I don’t want him to think I am insecure, you know” tapping on his page “and also these girls are in a picture of them together, I am guessing Paula’ family” turning my phone to the camera “wait, baby. Let me see” here my mom goes, she needs her glasses on “my grandbaby looks so happy, I see. It looks friendly anyways, Maurice looks happy” turning the phone to me and turning the image “and this one, with Paula” holding it to the camera “ok baby, I can see. He looks happy there Robbie, that is nice to see. It is a shame you can’t go with him, he is such a good father” locking my phone as I placed it at the side of me “he is, this is why I didn’t text him a whole ass rant. What I am trying to do is be his peace. It is what he will need, he needs me so I am trying to contain my pettiness” my mom cooed you “that is love Robyn, I am glad you are taking that in with what I say, he just needs you to be there for him. Let his mom do her dirt, it’s not your dirt” my mom is right, she is always right and this is what I love about her.

I can tell Maurice is having a lot of fun because whoever this girl is. She is tagging him a lot, let me check to see who she is, tapping on her page and it loaded up. She has added to her story, let me check this. The first thing that comes up is my baby “awww Reign” she is smiling so much, tapping onto the next “tell me more, tell me how you just got this store to open up for us Maurice! It’s late at night, Maurice!” the girl said, Maurice looked behind him and at the camera laughing “black card, you know it!” he said, the camera flipped over “rich family shit!” the video stopped, the next post came up “hey, hey! He is cheating!!! You see this, Tía!” she spat, Maurice laughed “leave him alone” this really made me smile seeing that, he is playing Monopoly with them “awww, like that so cute” I said to myself, to see him just having fun. I am jealous that I am not there to see it because then I would get to enjoy it too, Spain does seem to be his peace. I am glad I saw that now; it’s made me very happy to see. I smiled to myself locking my phone “oh Jesus!” I spat holding my chest “sorry, I am back!” Jay spat “I can see, you scared me, my god!” he scared me “sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s so quiet so I checked the cameras, how is the family? We are all happy?” nodding my head “but we are coming Cali so why did you come here?” I questioned “Maurice requested I come here, so here I am. Never said anyways, where is trouble?” watching Jay sit down on the bar stool “Spain, Maurice needed some time to himself. Reign is with him and here I am, alone” Jay cooed out “well I am here, we can have some fun, do what we like I guess. But I am not sure why he wanted me here anyways” Jay shrugged, neither do I and I didn’t expect him to be here.

Jay bless his heart, he is taking me to get some Taco Bell, I have never felt so lonely at home but here I am “thank you for taking me to Taco Bell, I didn’t want to cook for myself. I hate this, I honestly hate the feeling of being lonely, especially being here in New York” Jay cooed out “lonely little Robyn huh” he chuckled “New York is not for me either but, this job is for me. You know that Davenport paycheque” Jay is stupid “maybe you need a pay cut then, you get paid too much to just be relaxing. Don’t you think” looking over at him “uhhhh I do work, I am literally risking my life for you. I could die?” laughing at him and then felt an impact behind us which jolted me forward a little bit “what the….” Jay spat, looking in his rear-view mirror, feeling the pain in my neck instantly “is this nigga dumb!” Jay spat getting out of the car, the honking noises around us which snapped me back to reality. Unbuckling the belt and opening the door “are you fucking stupid!? New York traffic is slow, don’t you fucking look. You were texting wasn’t’ you nigga!” hearing Jay shout, closing the car door and walking to behind the car “don’t even fucking try it! I will knock your ass out” these two are now squaring up to each other, looking to the back of my Range Rover, it’s not even my car. This is hired “Jay, just get his insurance and let’s go. It’s not worth it” I am just glad nobody is hurt “you heard her, give me your fucking details now!” Jay is very angry “I will speak to her not you” the guy said “you bitch ass, you speak to me” Jay gripped him and pulled him back. I just want to go “are you ok Robyn?” Jay asked, nodding my head as I want this to be over.

We did end up coming Taco Bell, at the end of it. I wasn’t going to let that stop me, also the bumper is not that bad but still “you was very angry” I said to Jay “I was fired up, he goes to me oh you stopped suddenly, we was fucking crawling! I was angry because he just spoke shit, I was worried he was going to drive off. But are you ok? I don’t want Maurice coming at me saying you’re hurt?” shaking my head “I am fine, I had some neck pain, but all is well. Maurice can chase up that, I can’t be bothered with it” Jay nodded his head “you seem really sad, was it me?” Jay asked, I laughed lightly “no, no it’s not you. I just miss my daughter and Maurice and it makes you think, things like this. Life can be over so quickly, ignore me. I am in my feelings” I laughed “oh wow, that is deep. Now you are making me think that I get it though. You are in love with Maurice, so you feel even worse when he’s not around, I bet it’s weird to be in love with someone” Jay is cute “you know what Jay, it’s nice to be in love but also scary, I get scared sometimes. What would I be like without him, he is really my everything to me” Jay cooed out.

I don’t really ring Maurice, I think let him have his time there so I just leave him to it but I do miss him so I annoy my mom, I need someone to speak too “you and Thomas do need to talk” my mom said “sure” I added “but as you know Marquis is getting us married, but Thomas’ name was on there mom, why? He called me a whore, he doesn’t like Maurice, you can’t throw him in my face?” I would like her to answer “Marquis asked, and I did add him, because he raised you as his own and he is sorry, he is sorry for what he did Robyn” eyeballing my mom “right, ok mother. Thanks, he lost me when he did what he did, I didn’t need to know my real dad. I didn’t did I? He pushed it and pushed you, you will see it for what it is one day but I don’t want him on my day” my mom looked at the camera in sadness “anyways, I wanted ask. What do you get a man that has everything? I have been thinking this and I am like he spoils me because I mean I don’t have the riches he has, he has the world, what the hell could I give?” I am so confused with life on what to do “your time and love Robyn, that is what you give him. And I mean I don’t want to say it to you but sex things. I mean you both clearly enjoy that but make memories together, spend time together. Because even though you are both living together, you are both busy, still. He works what, Monday to Friday. You are part time, so at the end of the day, you are both busy. I don’t mind looking after Reign for you but create some memories together. Make it yours, you know. You don’t have to take his jet, make it special. Yes, he has everything but that’s not memories for him, that is just money and a few bad memories. Make it your day for him. I think personally that is what he will love, and so will you, spoil him with love. But I wouldn’t take Reign, maybe take him away twice. Once with you and another with Reign and you as a family” my mom is the best “mom, you are wasted with Thomas. Thank you!” my mom laughed shaking her head “what are you like” she has given me ideas now, it’s just when I think of gifts it’s like he has it all.

Today has been eventful “you have turned a shade darker Maurice, come. Sit down next to me” Mami patted the couch “I will sit here, near Reign. I don’t want her to wake up and fall” Mami cooed out “you are so close to her; I am so happy you have bought her here. Guess who she reminds me of? She looks like beautiful Robyn but when I took care of you, that age. You was the same, you only became shy as you got older, always looking to me for help” I laughed shaking my head “my dad wanted to promote me everywhere, it was weird but with Reign I am going to be calm with her, she does not need to take over the business but I have put her name to it. My little love” I grinned, she is so tired after today “I was waiting for you to be a dad, I was waiting for you to be at peace enough to come to me. Even though you never came; I always spoke to your dad about you. I didn’t want to confuse you Maurice, you were not in a good place like you are now, so I know you are ok. You are ready for whatever life throws at you; Robyn is a good woman. I held her hand and I said to her, give him time. You are blessed baby” putting my head down smiling “Mami, I want you to come to California. Be there to see me and Robyn get married” Mami shook her head “Maurice, there is nothing there for me, I don’t want to ruin a moment for you both. I just want you to make your dad’ day good ok?” nodding my head “do you know something I don’t? You think my dad won’t be around for long?” I asked, I can ask her because she will know “Maurice, he has had a good life. He’s got his blessing, you. He is happy, but your dad Maurice. He is ill, he is in pain. He wants to make amends and just know he left well. Maurice, trying times are ahead and I want to be here for you. My home is always here if you want to escape but you will need to keep your family close and defeat this” I swallowed hard, Mami knows more then she is letting on.

Rubbing my chin “right, so you and my dad still talk a lot?” Mami nodded her head “he is a friend to me now, we had good times. I can say we did, and I got to raise you which was such a good time for me. I mean yes he was married, that did hurt me, but I left it in god’ hands but evil won, but I am happy Maurice. I just want you to be strong, you have a strong woman, I like her” Mami pointed at me, I laughed “she is my everything Mami, I can’t even imagine a life without her. She is a strong woman, I admire her. I’ve never felt that feeling, you know for a girl to love me, to take care of me. So I know she will always have my back but I just feel like people know a lot more then me, even now. You wouldn’t lie to me? I have always been lied too, as a child, I thought you was my mother. And then I was lied too then if you know things you would tell me?” I do feel it, I feel like I am in this bubble and everyone knows something, everyone is watching in and watching me break “it’s not my place to say Maurice, this is down to your mom and dad” Mami said which annoyed me “you are my mom! And you’re the person I hope doesn’t lie to me, the woman in Texas is not a mother. Don’t do me like this” Mami put her head down “I didn’t think you classed me as such a person in your life, I classed you as my son but when you went back. That was it” shaking my head “people adopt and still love that child; you love me, and I felt it. You were my happiness because you showed me love, now I am asking my mother” I am being dead ass “I can’t get involved Maurice, I can’t. This is above me, and this will come back to me! I don’t want that” Mami does know something “what is it? I need to know, he is my dad!” I half shouted “and he should be the one to tell you” I huffed out getting up from the couch “but he isn’t! You are supposed to be there for me! Why be like the rest” she knows she is hurting me “but you can’t say anything Maurice, you can’t. If you love me like you say, you can’t because your dad does tell me everything still, we are friends still. He confides in me but I also don’t want to hurt you. As a child we all wanted the best for you, protect you and your best interest with what happens around you. Some people were more malicious with things, I really just want your parents to speak to you about this” shaking my head, I want to hear from Mami’ mouth right now about this “I want to know everything” I just feel like I am being lied too.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

[rohobi]

Serendipity 01 | (M)

pairing— jeon jungkook x reader, friendwithbenefitsAU  genre/warnings— smut, fluff, slight angst, swearing words—5,169 ↳ chapters → CHAPTER 2

chapter 1 summary: ❝The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. After forgetting to click out of his pornhub incognito tab last night, you find yourself shoulder-to-shoulder with Jungkook at 3am watching the rest of it.❞

When you agreed to have a weekly movie night with your best friend, you imagined watching Princess Mononoke with snacks and hot tea. You never imagined it would be any different from your usual movie nights because Jungkook has never been and will never be spontaneous with his time.

Jungkook likes an order to things. He’s systematic in the way that he thinks and absolutely avoids things that are irrational and non-sequential. It’s most of the reason why your engineer brother likes him, they think alike and both avoid making emotional connections with people.

But you’re fine with that because you’re too focused on your own studies to venture out into the dark social ocean to meet new people too.

Jungkook was your person and you were sure he’d remain that way for the rest of your life because you don’t think he’d try and find anyone else. He’s never tried in the 17 years of knowing him to find someone else.

Jungkook thinks that studying architecture encourages social isolation, loneliness and abstinence. And from the little friends that remain in his social circle as a result, it meant that you had to go out of your way to spend time with him. You just hoped he’d be a little bit more mutual with you and meet you halfway. It’s half of your friendship fights these days, he didn’t do enough for you and you were very vocal about that.

So, here you are. After prompting at 1 in the morning to buy him pizza, Jungkook invites you over to watch movies until the sunrises. He gets the popcorn, you set up the netflix, it was routine.  You just never expected to find a big fat dick on his computer as the remainder of the porn he forgot to click out of continues to loudly play in front of you.

“My cock looks so good pumping your pussy Ellen, fuck.”

Running from the kitchen, bags of popcorn dancing dangerously from tired hands, he yells desperately from the hallway as though anything he could say could excuse what your eyes were seeing. “I can explain-

“-jesus Jungkook,” you interrupt, holding your knees to your chest and resting your chin on them as he bursts through his bedroom door. “I didn’t know you were into this kind of stuff.”

“I’m not,” Jungkook shouts, closing the door behind him before throwing the bags of popcorn on his bed. “That wasn’t me.”

“You live alone mate.”

“Okay, shit,” he whispers and you laugh softly to his dismay. “I was lonely and that’s just what happens when boys get lonely Y/N. So shut up and stop laughing at me okay?”  

“Hey, I just didn’t expect you to be into this kind of stuff, like from the way you lust over anime characters, I always thought your porn preference would be animated...” You glance at him as he stands at the end of his bed.

He stares at the back of his macbook, seemingly staring into the oblivion of his own making. He can’t believe he forgot to click out of it, he was just too afraid he’d ejaculate all of the keyboard. He didn’t want to jeopardise his hard drive.

“Jungkook?” you ask, patting the bed space beside you. “Are you like, okay?”

Beneath his circular rimmed glasses, his cheeks dust with a fuschia kind of pink. “Of course I’m okay,” he smiles awkwardly. You watch him readjust his beanie, stuff his hands into his big black puma hoodie before graciously sitting beside you on his bed. “Are you okay?” he asks. You both ignore the pigeon type moaning coming from his computer as he looks at you.

“I’m fine,” you nod. “So, stop being weird.”

He sniffs loudly before rubbing his fist across his nostrils. “I’m a man Y/N, I have needs so don’t laugh at me about this okay, and don’t you dare go on your blog and tell your followers about it either. It’s better than sleeping around with girls who get too attached.” You stare incredulously at him before turning back to the screen. “You finished 3 minutes into the video though Jungkook ...like… she still has her clothes on, what were you getting off to? His balls?”

He scoffs beside you. “I can’t expect you to know the intricacies of a man's lust when you barely know your own.”

You shrug. “Well, I guess you just ejalucate really quickly then. You even finished before they did.”

He gasps in response and you watch the broad shouldered brunette pornstar thread his fingers into the much smaller pornstar before pulling the absolute fuck out of her hair. You wince, feeling your scalp tingle.

“What? I finished before them?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, unsure if you were joking or not. “God, I’m so fucking confused right now. It’s an hour long video Y/N, of course I did.”

You straighten your head, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. “Oh ...does it not take that long for you?”

“Here we go, trying to sound like you know everything again when you clearly know nothing,” He scoffs, laughter fluttering out from his fucking annoying mouth. “What kind of man lasts that long masterbating Y/N, think about it?”

“I haven’t had sex with anyone, how would I know how long it takes?”

“I’m turning this off,” he exhales, grabbing out for the mouse in front of you. “I don’t want to taint your innocence and you’re scaring me with how into it you’re acting.”

Quickly grabbing the mouse from his reach, you shove it between your thighs. “No, I want to watch. I haven’t watched porn before and I want to know if there is a happy ending for her. She’s working so hard.”

“Lol, what are you saying?”

You slap his chest, eyes remaining on the screen. “I’m a feminist Jungkook, let me watch.”

“What does feminism have to do with this?”

“Just, let me watch G O D.”

He frowns, shaking his head. “You’re acting like you haven’t watched porn before?”

“Well duh, it’s because I haven't and better your computer than my own.”

He pauses, eyebrows levelling out. “Wait, you… actually haven’t…. How is that fucking possible? You’re literally the grossest person I know. You haven’t watched porn before? Bullshit.”  

You nod as the actors change positions, her on top this time. You sigh in envy at how soft her skin looks, as he rubs his thumb lovingly over her hip. You bet she uses coconut oil. “You look so filthy taking my dick like that Ellen, ride me bitch, ride me.”

“That’s not very nice calling her a bitch-” leaning forward, you search for the pornstars name in the video description. “-James, you should treat her like a lady when she’s sitting on your penis like a bloody throne.”

Jungkook laughs beside you. “Okay, I’m starting to believe that this is your first time.” Crossing your arms over your chest, you watch his stomach muscles flex as her moans began to ricochet off his tiled floors. The sound has a bizarre effect on your groin as you began to feel it throb.

You gulp nervously, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the sound of her desperate moaning. “I feel weird watching this Jungkook.”

“You’re 21 how the fuck-”

“-don’t judge me. I was afraid the government would monitor my account if I watched it, you know how viruses weaken your security these days. Who knows what you’re inviting into your privacy and even your webcam.”

“You watch way too many hollywood lifestyle movies, but still Y/N, how have you not watched porn before? Have you even masterbated before?”

“That is beside the point.” you exhale, shifting uncomfortably, putting your feet flat against his bed. You weren’t ever given the opportunity and you certainly never had the courage to do it on your own.

“So you haven't?” he asks.

“Question, do all dicks look like that?” you ask, turning your head to the side. “Surely not, that looks painful. She looks like she’s in pain.”

Jungkook laughs beside you, suddenly feeling like he just opened a door to a room for you that you had no plans on leaving. “It’s a good kind of pain, I promise.”

“Surely that thing hurts though, it looks like a monster penis- a horse penis- no an elephant's trunk but pink and veiny,” you laugh, getting excited. “No wait, it looks like a cow's tongue Jungkook.”

You turn to Jungkook as he takes a deep breath. “Wait, does your penis look like that?”

He turns back to the TV, taking another deep breath. “No, mines smaller.”

You laugh, giving him the side eye as you do. “I shouldn’t have asked, since most of your cock is in your personality.”

“Very funny Y/N. My penis is an average size thank you, most girls don’t like too big anyway.”

“They do?” You heave a sigh of relief. “Lord, I don’t know why I feel relieved by that.”

“Her nipples are so small and perky,” he comments, crossing his arms over his chest again. “Do your boobs look like that?” he asks, returning his gaze back to yours.

“Ahhh,” you mutter, biting your lip, eyes never straying from the screen. “I think mine are a bit bigger. More real as well, slightly darker in tone BUT DONT YOU DARE JUDGE SOMEONE'S NIPPLES OKAY, THATS SO FUCKING RUDE.”

He raises his hands in surrender at the sudden projection of your voice. “Wasn’t gonna.”

You both settle on his bed, watching as he slowly takes his penis out and agonisingly slowly, thrusts himself into her again. It was cinematic, truly a magnificent piece of art. “I could watch this all day.” she holds his wrists tight. “ Please don’t. Please fuck me.”

And this is how you spend the rest of your witching hour.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything but every now and then he clears his throat.

You don’t say anything either and mostly becuase you’re impressed with Ellen’s flexibility but you do lean forward to minimise the sound a little. Her moans were making you feel jealous of her vocal range.  

“Can I ask a dumb question?” Jungkook asks.

“Better than anyone I know.” you respond, eyes still fixed on the red handprints on the milky white skin of her ass.

He stares at you in contempt. “Does watching this ...does it make you feel wet?”

Frowning, you turn to him. “Wet? You mean in the downstairs department or bleeding nose?”

Laughing, he elbows your ribs. “Downstairs. Please tell me it has an effect on you and that you aren’t some alien.”

Your laugh flutters pleasantly, making his heart strangely flutter. The feeling is foreign to him but not exactly unwelcomed. He liked it when you laughed.

“I like it,” you smile, rubbing your thighs together. “It’s not my cup of tea though. I’d like it more if it was just girls to be honest. I don’t know how I feel about his penis sword, kind of off putting but her moans are nice.”  

“I agree.”

“Can I ask you a question then?”

“Sure.” he says, putting a pillow on his lap.

“How do you do it?”

He blinks in confusion. “Do what?”

“Masterbate. Does it hurt more if the penis doesn’t have a hoodie like the others because I read in Cosmo that it means their less sexually mature,” you deadpan. “Like men who are left handed.”

“Hoodie?” He raises his eyebrows in confusion, pink dusts his olive cheeks once again. You were talented at throwing him completely off his axil, sometimes he thinks that’s why he keeps you around. You were his spontaneity. “How...do I…. are you asking me how I personally masterbate or are you asking me how you should masterbate?”

You shake your head. “No, I mean you. How do you masterbate? Girls put fingers inside of them, and rub their finger tips of their clit. Do you ...do you do the same with your asshole?”

“Jesus fucking christ Y/N, you’re 21 this is unacceptable,” he says. Your cheeks glow with embarrassment, he knows how hurtful bringing up your lack of experience feels and immediately regrets bringing it up when tears begin to pool in your eyes.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Jungkook whispers, bringing his palm to your face. He cups your jaw, rubbing his thumb across your cheek bone. “I didn’t mean it like the way you were thinking. Waiting for the right person is good, I just don’t want you to continue to miss out on something that you could do to yourself that feels just as good you know?”

You nod, sinking your face into the warmth of his palm. “I just ...I never got the opportunity to ask my ex-boyfriends and I’m already comfortable enough to ask you because I love you and you let me poop when you’re showering. I just hate it when you make me feel like I’m a failure because I haven’t done it.”

He leans forward, pulling you into his chest. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, you nuzzle your face into his neck. “You aren’t a failure. I’m just confused because you’re the most beautiful person I know, you could have any guy begging to sleep with you.”

You sigh against his skin. Goosebumps lick down his spine in response. “Sex isn’t a race Jungkook when you’re trying to find love. Shouldn’t finding something substantially comforting and emotionally alluring take precedence on mindless sex with strangers or horrible creatures that don’t care about your mental well being.”

He cackles, his body shaking against yours. “You don’t understand Y/N. I’m a man, we are wired to think about sex all the time and because I’m committed to my work, I’d rather sleep with girls I don’t know to avoid the commitment of getting to know one. The idea of falling in love with someone I have to get to know even stresses me out.”

“You’re an entitled jerk Jungkook, anyone ever tell you that? Look, I just want to fall in love and be a goddess at sex for my future lover but I don’t even know where to begin.” You sigh.  

“You can start with me?” Jungkook smiles before kissing your forehead. “Look, I can show you how I masterbate if you want.”

You pull back from him. “What?”

Leaning back against the headboard of his bed, he nods without looking at you. “If it means so much to you, I’ll show you. It’s not like it’s a big deal anyway.” Unbuckling his belt, he unzips his jeans beside you. You find yourself unable to speak. Unable to look. Unable to breathe.  Jungkook throws his jeans onto the floor by his bed before shoving his hand into the bag of popcorn and stuffing his face. You can’t help yourself from looking at his thighs, those beautiful things.

“Wouldn’t that be weird?” you ask. “I hate to say it but you’re like a brother to me.”

“Doon’t ffuckking ssay thhat.” he shouts, incoherently. Shaking his head at you as he swallows, you pout. “Y/N. You won't learn with porn, it's not even real. I’m real however, and prepared to do this for you 100 %. Unless you don’t want me too show you then I won't.”

“What do you mean porns not real? His real dick was entering a real person’s vagina and they were bumping uglies to an uncoordinated rhythm like baboons. What part of this is unreal?”

He stares at you strangely, an expression you identify as shock and lust? Lord knows what the fuck he’s thinking. “There is a third person present with a camera, she’s fake moaning to get him off, he pumped his penis and he’s ignoring her clit. He’s on drugs, she’s bored, the video is edited and no one is sweaty. No sweat, no effort.”

You make an “oh” sound with your mouth.

“Look Y/N, I’ll show you. I’ll talk you through it,” you watch him wipe the butter from his popcorn on his jumper before he starts palming himself over his navy briefs. “To start, I am going to start touching my erection okay? You know what an erection is?” he asks condescendingly.  

Nodding your head, you stimulate an erection by pointing your finger at him. “An erection is a type of pill you put in your ass so you can poop lava right?” you joke, rolling your eyes at him. “Of course I know what an erection is but you have an erection already? Jesus.”

Groaning, he throws his head back against the headboard of his bed. “Of course I fucking do, we’ve been watching porn together for the past half an hour. I went hard as soon as you told me that you liked the idea of having something thick and hard in your mouth.”

“I was talking about food though.”

“Are you kidding?” Throwing the pillow across the room in frustration, Jungkook angrily points to the tent in his pants. “This is thick and hard and wants to be in your mouth, you tease. How do you expect me to interpret something like that during porn as food Y/N? I am a man and all the blood is flowing to my penis, not my brain.”

“I concur that what you are saying is not a recent development and the blood has only ever flowed to your penis or your ego. But that is beside the point here, are you telling me that you want me to suck your noodle?” you blink at him, doe eyed. “Because you pee out of that and I’m going to have to at least ask that you shower four times before even thinking of putting that jabba the hutt in my mouth.”

“Jabba the hutt? Like that fat gangstar from Star Trek?”

“What the?” Your mouth drops open. You smack his chest. “He’s from Star Wars you idiot, we watched all those movies together, how do you not remember???”

Rolling his eyes, he says. “Dude, we’ve watched every single movie together. How am I supposed to remember… that … particular film… hey, why am I arguing with you over this, you called my penis jabba the hutt.”

You try hard not to laugh but it happens. “If the shoe fits baby, you gotta put it on.”

“I was turned on before but now your talent for ruining the moment prevails. Can we just get onto it, it’s almost 4 in the morning and if you keep talking, I’m going to go limp and you’ll miss out.”

“But Kooksta, my number one homeboy, why?” You rub your thighs together anyway, unable to look away from him as he runs his fingers over the very prominent erection beside you. “Why are you actually doing this for me? Isn’t it a bit ...weird?”

“Not at all. I’d do anything for you,” he says nonchalantly, and your heart suddenly begins to flutter against your ribs. “Do I take my jumper off?”

You shake your head. “You’ll get cold, leave it on.”

He nods. “Because my body doesn’t heat up to a thousand degrees when I have sex or anything.” Leaving his black puma hoodie on, he looks up at you with a silent question of “are you ready?” before slowly taking off his briefs when you nod in response.  

You watch the navy cloth fly across the room.

The satisfied sound of freedom flutters from his lips, just fucking fantastic. You can see this becoming his normal -lying beside you in the nude. He’d bloody love that.

“Hey look at me, don’t make this weird. I know you want to see me nakey nakey naked.” he sings.

Unable to respond verbally, you gulp nervously as he sits beside you completely bottomless bare. “You can look at it, it's okay.” he says, amused by the strain of your neck as you avidly ignore everything from his neck down.

“But your one eyed monster will give me nightmares. I don’t think I can do it.”

“He’s not that scary,” Jungkook laughs, sniffing his nose as he takes a firm hold of his penis. “You’re missing out down here.”

Clapping your hands together, you close your eyes. “I’ll look in a moment, I just need to pray to the holy father.”

“Whatever.” Jungkook says before spitting into his palm. Shifting beside you, Jungkook begins to pump his length to a steady rhythm. He watches you from the corner of his eye, suddenly entranced by the softness of your skin and the plump colour of your lips. Had they always looked like that?

Trailing his eyes down the expanse of your neck to the cleavage peeking out from your top, he imagines kissing your skin. Since when did you grow boobs? Jungkook moves his hand quicker as he imagines what you’d look like with no shirt on.

“Y/N, open your eyes,” he whimpers, his voice strained. “Watch me.”

The slick sounds of his hand and the little gasps and whimpers he makes, fill the room. You open your eyes but they stay cast on the blueprint of the airplane he never ended up building for you on his far wall. “I have opened them.” you whisper.

“Look at me.”

You don’t.

“Baby,” he whimpers beside you, catching your attention. He only ever calls you baby accidentally, you never respond to his pet calls because you don’t think he means to say them to you. “Just look at me, you’ll be fine. You’ll like it.”  

You can hear the shift in his breathing suddenly and only when he closes his eyes, pushing his head back against the sofa, do you look at him.

He’s taken off his beanie and his soft brown hair sits messily on top of his head. His glasses sit at a weird angle on his nose and his bottom lip remains tucked between his teeth. His eyes are clenched tight and his jaw is tense as he works himself.

Then you look down.

The veins in his arms look like they’re about to bust out of his skin as his palm holds his length, jacking his cock. “Y/N, are you looking?” he moans out and you nod, before remembering he can’t see and then saying yes.

Gazing in awe at the pace he set, you bite your lip. A bead of pre-cum dribbles down the head of his cock as he pumps it hard and fast. It’s such a strange forbidden feeling that ruptures through your body, that it almost feels wrong to watch. You’ve been friends with him for years and not once have you ever thought of having sex with him until now.

You wondered if he feels the same.

“Jungkook, I feel weird watching you masterbate.” you murmur, sinking your teeth onto your bottom lip. If you were being honest, it was single handedly the sexiest thing you had ever seen.

“What kind of weird?” he moans out.

You grind your thighs together at the sound of his moan. “My groin is throbbing and my heart is racing and I suddenly feel like I’m sweating a whole lot.”

“You must like it then,” opening his eyes, he rolls his head to face yours. His gaze is lust stricken, dark and hazy, akin to how you’d imagine a lion would look at its prey. He looks like he’s about to pounce on you. “Just finger yourself then, you’ll see how good it feels too.” he whispers.

“What?” you whisper back, watching the beads of sweat fall down his face. “You want me to finger… myself?”

“Trust me, it feels good. Just put your hands down your pants and run your fingers over your clit, come on. You know what a clit is right?”

“Of course I know what a clitoris is, I passed year 9 sexual education unlike you.”

He snort laughs before scooting closer to you. “I helped you put the condom on Y/N, you would’ve failed too had I not.”

“Touche.” you admit.

Staring down at the waistband of your pants, you throw caution to the wind. Maybe it would relieve some of the stress you’ve been feeling lately. Maybe Jungkook can help you with it. “Okay, I’ll do it but this stays between us okay.”

“Yeah yeah, of course. Who am I going to tell? I don’t know your friends.”

Pushing the computer further down the bed, you put the pillow on your lap in fear of Jungkook seeing your private parts. “Right and you don’t have any so there isn’t anyone I can tell.”

He cackles. “Shut up and get on with it before I finish before you.”

“Don’t want that happening again.”

“Aren’t you just a little shit today? God, sometimes I think about you and then I think, ‘I’d really like to fuck the wit out of you’ that’s if I could, ya know.”

“What?” you ask.

Wearily, you slip your fingers into your underwear. The coldness of your fingers feels weird against your warm core, the contrast is a strange feeling.

“Or just generally shut you up with my cock in your mouth, I bet you’d like that.” he laughs and you smack his chest with your free hand.

“I know that right now is a very intimate space for us but if you’d like to shut the fuck up and think about your own cock in your mouth for once, that would be great. P.s. I’ve got my fingers in my vagina and so far it just feels cold.”  

“Explore, gently run your fingertips over your clit, find what you like. When it feels good, you’ll know.” he says, leaning towards your neck. His hot breath flutters through your hair as he turns to watch your hand work your core. “Now move your fingers up and down. Set a pace. You could even use your other hand to play with your boobs ...unless you want me to do that.”

“I’ll leave them alone for now actually. Next time, I’ll do that.”

Jungkook tries not to scowl at that but your body, your rules. “That’s okay, focus on fingers. Be delicate. Try moving in 8’s over your clit.”

Encouraged by his voice and the quickening pace of Jungkook's hand, you rub the pads of your fingertips over your sensitive nub like how he says and the feeling is like lightning striking you down in the best kind of ways.

“Oh fuck me,” you moan out, melting into the headboard as you rub over your clit in vigorous circular motions. “Jungkook, it feels so good.”

Jungkook watches as you bite your lip. He watches as you throw your head back and moan out his name. He’s not going to lie and say that it wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d ever seen you do but he’s not about to admit that right now when all he can think about his cumming all of your face.

The sight he imagines is enough for him to cum but… he doesn’t. Not yet.

You turn to face him, cheeks slightly flushed. It feels like your throat is tightening. You whimper. You whine, you can’t help the sounds bubbling from your throat. It just feels so good.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he just watches. He can’t help but watch you and he wants to get off, he can feel it spark up from his toes. He works himself harder, until he feel like he can’t breathe. God, why did this feel so much better when you were there doing it with him.

And you’re right there with him touching yourself, tethering on the same threshold.  He never imagined he’d ever be in this position with you but you’re here, he loves it.

You can’t even control your moans and you hate it, you’re so sensitive, it feels too good but then you hear it, Ellen’s loud climax on the computer in front of you and it’s enough to spur quick movements on your clit. Ignoring the porn, he continues to masterbate beside you, ruthlessly watching you thrith against your fingers.

“Jungkook, I think I’m about to finish.” you choke, furrowing your brows.”

The sloshing sound gets faster as Jungkook chants his blasphemy, he’s so close he can feel it. “Ah fuck,” he whimpers, lifting his hips to meet his hand. It’s uncoordinated and desperate but it does the trick as he cums all over his hand.

You spasm against the headboard not that long after him, mouth agape, throat dry, legs twitching. Your hearts still racing in your chest, hard and heavy.

You can’t believe you just did that but it feels like relief, it feels like something has just melted off your shoulders in the best kind of way and an awkward feeling that can only be described as embarrassment and regret floods you.

He pants beside you, the shock of what just occurred blends in with the beautiful reminder of reality. How is he going to face you from now on?

“Ellen I’m gonna come. Where do you want me to co-

Jungkook lurches forward to slam the laptop closed and you both stare into the darkness for a while, regretting whatever the hell you both just did that for until the lightest cackle escapes his lips. “Think that was enough education for one night?”

You nod. “I feel thoroughly educated, thank you Jungkook.”

“The pleasure was all mine.” he bows his head, hand still covered in semen, hand still attached to his penis. Literally.

You look down at his hand before looking back up at him. “Yeah, we know.”

The silence festers between you, seconds stretch into minutes until Jungkook finally speaks up but you’re already over the embarrassment of the situation, what happened, happened and that is it. “So, did you lik-

“Jungkook, do you think her real name is Ellen?”

He stares at you with an incredulous look on his face. Grabbing the bag of popcorn by the computer, he dips his dirty fingers into the remaining buttered popcorn. “Oh for Christ's sake Y/N. Of course it’s not Ellen.”

You stare at him in disgust as you watch him eat popcorn from his semen covered finger tips. “EW, WHAT THE FUCK JUNGKOOK. THIS IS LIKE CANNIBALISM. AT LEAST WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU EAT YOU DISGUSTING PIG.”

Turning to you, he slowly eats popcorn loving the look of utter and complete disgust cross your face. “What can I say, I’m a dirty boy.”

Pointing to the door, you stammer. “Look, I know this is your house and all but kindly get the fuck out of here.”

Leaning forward, he quickly kisses your cheek before clambering off the bed. “I’m going to have a shower if you want to join me.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Fuck off Jungkook.”

Hands up in surrender, Jungkook grins at you. “Not yet? Okay, next time then.”

You throw a pillow at him as runs toward the bathroom. “Whatever.”

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts scenarios #bangtan imagines #bangtan scenarios #bangtan ffic #bts ffic #bts angst #bts crack #bts jungkook #jungkook #jeon jungkook #repost

[i-want-to-be-manhandled]

more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question

so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender. 

tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything

so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)

pros:

voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea. 

i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl

side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl

more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro

bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice. 

side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that

NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS

if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself

fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems

having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.

veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know

lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right

neutrals:

facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion

body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao

hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*

scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao

rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so

acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con

cons:

increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con

emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real

increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do

so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?

the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.

like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw,  and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for

seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao).  like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.

if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior 

#kieran screams into the void #to t or not to t #that is the question #i think i should go on t after rereading this post #but im still a lil skeptical bc of that anxiety ya know #also pls laugh your ass off at my dumb high school self #im here to provide the most quality entertainment #it took me 3 hours to type this

[iwriteficsnottragediesladies]

Excited

Request: A fluffy one with Beebo and y/n and she’s losing her v to him but he’s like super gentle but super sexy at the same time and it’s cute but also smutty 😭😭😭😭😭😭     

A/N: hopefully you’ll enjoy this nice little smut-fest! There’s one bandom reference, so comment if you find it (Hint: It’s from a youtube video of Brendon). (And no, it’s not drunk history :) )

Kissing Brendon ranged from slow, gentle and passionate kisses, to deep, desperate and hungry make outs. It depended on the mood you were both in.

Tonight was a mixture of both. You were too excited to be gentle, but too careful to be desperate. Brendon was undressing as he straddled your lap, while you stripped down to your underwear, eager to return to your hot kisses. You pull him back down to you until your lips meet.

His hand explores down your body, slipping his fingers underneath the waist band of your panties. He snaps the elastic against your skin and your body reacts to the sensation. His boxers were wet--you had soaked through your underwear a long time ago. He grinds his hips down onto yours and you sigh, rolling your hips in response. He places a hand on your cheek and gives you a sweet kiss.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says quietly in your ear.

In that moment, something suddenly becomes clear: you want to lose your virginity to Brendon.

Now.

He knows you’re a virgin, and you know he is not. He’s never pushed you to do anything until your were absolutely sure. Now you’re sure.

“Bren,” you call to him softly. He slows to a stop. “Do you have a condom?”

“Wha-” he looks down at you, confused, “Um, yeah, yeah, I do, what do you--”

“Go get it,” You interrupt him coolly.

He looks at you like you’re crazy. You lift an eyebrow. He remains frozen.

“Get the condom, Brendon,” you giggle.

“Oh, okay, um,” He started to move, leaning over to the night table and producing a condom from the drawer. He places the packet on the bed and you pull him back down for more kisses. Your hands explore his body and you raise your hips, rolling them against his. He can’t help but exhale shakily, nearly moaning. He becomes lost in touching you again, grabbing one of your breasts and toying with your nipple.

He is placing kisses on your neck and you speak into his ear.

“I want you to fuck me,” you breathe. He stops and looks to you.

“Y/n, you d--, I don’t h--,” Brendon stumbled.

“Brendon,” You say slowly and confidently, “I want to have sex with you.”

He just gazes at you. He looks for any uncertainty or anxiety in your eyes, but doesn’t find any.

“Are--are you sure?” He asks cautiously.

“I’m sure,” You nod.

“You’re ready?” He clarified.

“I’m ready,” you reply, a smile appearing on your lips, “And there’s no other person I would rather be with than you.”

“I love you, Y/n,” He said.

“I love you too, Brendon,” You melt.

“You’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” He double checked.

“Yes,” You nod with a gentle smile. You love how much he cares about you and making sure you’re comfortable. It should come as a standard for all men, but it doesn’t. You feel so lucky to have Brendon. You both shimmy out of your remaining clothing.

He opens the condom and strokes it onto himself. You can tell he wants to be completely gentle and careful, but you can also see an excited glint in his eyes. He leaned down and smiled softly.

“Are you sure?” He asked again. You were nervous, but you were definitely ready. When he would go down on you or finger you, you really liked him to be rough, so you’re not exactly sure what to expect from yourself during actual sex.

“Yes,” You reply, but knowing he still was hesitant, “Brendon, please.”

“Okay, tell me if you want me to stop,” He looks deeply into your eyes and you nod. He guides himself in, slowly and gently, watching your expression closely.

You shut your eyes tight at the stretching pain you felt. Brendon quickly checked in with you.

“Are you okay, Y/n?” he asked with concern. You strained a bit and tried to relax yourself.

“Yes,” You replied.

“Do you want me to keep going?” He asked.

“Yes,” You said again.

He started to slide further into you until he was flush against you. You let out a little squeak and bit your lip, eyes slamming shut.

“Y/n,” He asked urgently, “Do you want to stop?”

You shook your head.

He is not at all convinced by your hesitant answer.

“Y/n, look at me,” He directed you softly. You open your eyes and see his concerned expression. “Breathe, sweetheart,” he directs you.

You realize you’ve been holding your breath and exhale. You felt more comfortable now and Brendon is relieved when he sees your face soften. He asks his next question slowly, emphasizing each word. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you reply, exhaling again. He paused, reading your face to make sure you were telling the truth.

“Do you want me to move?“ He asked you.

“Yes,” you repeat.

“I’m going to go slow, okay?” He reassured you. You nod.

He withdrew slowly just a little before sliding back in.

As his hips met yours. you shifted underneath him and gasped with your eyes floating shut. Brendon panicked, ready to pull out completely.

“Y/n? Am I hurting you?!” He asked quickly, “Do you want me to stop?”

Little did he know your reaction was one of intense pleasure. The friction of his stomach hitting your clit while feeling so full was intoxicating. It was a bit of a foreign feeling, but it was so satisfying. You’re not sure what to say to Brendon.

“N-no,” You sigh with a smile playing at your cheeks, “So good.”

Well that turned around in way he didn’t expect it to.

“D-do you want me to keep going?” He asked hesitantly, incredibly turned on to see you so pleased.

“God, yes,” you exhale. Brendon happily complied.

He was still so gentle. He felt a little selfish, enjoying how tight you were. He hears your breath starting to shake.

“Are you still okay?” He asks.

“Yes,” you reply. The look on your face told him all he needed to know anyways.

Your breathing is soon in time with his thrusts. Brendon was placing kisses on your neck. You speak into his ear.

“Bren, faster,” you suggest.

The hair on Brendon’s arm stood straight up.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you?” He murmured to double check.

“Mhm,” You replied.

He began to pick up the pace just a little, wanting to be careful.

“Y-yes,” you stutter. You lay your head back and close your eyes, soaking this new feeling in. “Please yes,” you encouraged.

Brendon sees your euphoric expression and speeds up a bit. It only brightens your face and Brendon is so fucking turned on by how you respond to him. You open your eyes and catch him looking down at you. You comb your fingers through his hair and bring his lips down to yours.

The heat of his breath on your skin caused you grip onto his back. He speeds up at the sensation and you have to emerge from the kiss for air.

“Fuck, yes,” you gasp. Brendon gentle nibbles at your collarbone. “Brendon,” you sigh longingly.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” Brendon whispered. The words and the way he growls them makes you want him to fuck you so hard.

“Oh god, Bren,” You can tell you’re losing any and all sense of decency, “Fuck me,”

“Baby,” he says, hesitant to comply with your request.

“Harder,” you plead, “Bren. S-so good.”

The desperation in your voice convinces him. He starts to go a little harder, carefully gauging your response. The change is very well received.

“FUCK,” you call out, “Brendon, yes.”

Brendon can hardly stand you moaning his name like that. It only fuels him further.

“S-shit Y/n,” he grunts.

“Ohhhhh,” you shake. You grab his ass.

“Uh!” Brendon reacts to your touch, “Oh fuck.”

“Harder,” You beg, “Oh fuck me h-harder.”

“Y/n,” Brendon strains.

“Please, yes,” you shouted out. You were so close--you needed it.

Brendon starts doing fast, short thrusts.Your legs latch onto him and it brings him further inside you.

“FUCK right there!” You cried blindly, “Bren!”

“You gonna cum, baby?” He asks, his voice thick, dripping like honey.

“God yes!” You moaned, “Oh god... Oh, I’m gonna cum. Oh--OH!”

You couldn’t help but scream.

“FUCK BRENDON!” Your voice devolves into incoherent moans. Brendon finishes just at the sight of you writhing underneath him.

“Oh fuck! Y/n!” Brendon yelled, “fuck, fuck!”

You feel more warm inside you as you realize Brendon is filling the condom.

Your movements are uncoordinated, hips grinding aimlessly, arms thrown around each other.

Happy sighs painted your breath as you begin a slow spiral down from your high, enjoying every moment. Brendon lays himself down on you in exhaustion before rolling off beside you. He runs his fingers through your hair and brushes it from your face.

He is whispering soft praise. His words become clearer as the static cleared from your ears.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. You did so good. I love you so much, sweetheart, so much.”

“Love you so much, Bren,” You replied. He kisses your forehead and you smile lazily. Jesus Christ, wasn’t the first time for girls supposed to be kind of bad? You’re pretty sure that was the best orgasm you’ve ever had. You sigh. “Shit, you fucked me so good.”

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you giggle, “Goddamn, was that as good for you as it was for me?”

“I’m going to go with ‘fuck yes’“ He replied, His expression faded into seriousness. “It was okay, though? Did I hurt you?” he asked with concern.

“It was more than okay, Bren,” You responded and gave him a devious smile, “And you know that’s how I like it anyway.”

He smirked at you.

“It was better than I could have ever imagined. I’m so glad it was you.” You smiled up at him.

He looked at you, knowing full well that his whole world was laying in his arms.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” you replied.

A/N: A moment of silence please to mourn the fact that we are not the reader. Tragic. Anyway, I hope you had some fun! Like/reblog if you’re feelin’ it!

#Brendon urie #Brendon urie x reader #fanfiction #panic at the disco #imagine #fanfic #smut #virginity #reader insert #bandom

[wayhaughterthanyou]

1-120, dare you

3 Fears- That my computer will crash at question 119, spiders, and planes

3 things I love- Wynonna Earp, writing, and video games

2 turns on- Hmm when someone runs their hands through my hair or shows me any kind of affection at all

2 turns off- Flat-earthers and people who refuse to interact with anything other than my genitals during sex

My best friend- My brother

Sexual orientation- Queer trans man

How tall am I- 5′7″

What do I miss right now- Sleep

Favourite color- PURPLE

Do I have a crush- I do..kind of

Favourite place- My bedroom

What am I listening to right now- My brother play fortnite- but the last song I was listening to was I wanna get better by Bleachers

Shoe size- 9

Eye color- Brown

Hair color- Brown

Meaning behind my URL- I think it’s pretty obvious

Favourite song- Morning in America- Jon Bellion

Favourite band- I really really don’t have one, I listen to such a wide range of music that it’s obnoxious and really hard to pick one

How I feel right now- Tired as fuck

Someone I love- MY CAT

My current relationship status- Single as can be my dude

My relationship with my parents- Stressful

Favourite season- Winter

Tattoos and piercing i have- I have a quill pen tattoo down my left forearm and a septum peircing

Tattoos and piercing i want- So so many tattoos, too many to list on this already long ask. As for piercings idk. I’m good for now but I might drill more holes into my body someday

The reasons I joined Tumblr- I was really into the disney memes

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Lucky to say that I do

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?- It was my dad so…technically yes, yes I have

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?- It takes 3 seconds to get dressed and an hour and a half to be prepared to see another human being

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope

Where am I right now? I’m at home

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? I’m surprised I can still hear

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I do

Am I excited for anything? NYC PRIDE 2018!!!

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yup

How often do I wear a fake smile? Honey I worked in food service for 5 years, fake is the only smile I know

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Melanie Scrofano

What do I think about most? Wearp

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind for sure, but I’m working on it!

What was the last lie I told? I told my dad I ate lunch

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chat. Phone calls frighten me

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes.

Do I believe in magic? IN A YOUNG GIRLS HEART HOW THE MUSIC CAN FREE HER WHENEVER IT STARTS

Do I believe in luck? Yes I have tons of bad luck so there has to be some good luck making someone else happy out there somewhere

What’s the weather like right now? It was pouring and freezing earlier and now it’s super hot I hate spring

What was the last book I’ve read? I recently reread To Kill A Mockingbird

Do I have any nicknames? Seattle

Do I spend money or save it? I try to save it and then I pay rent and then I pay bills and then I don’t have moneys and then I’m sad

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? I literally can’t even reach my septum ring lmao

Favourite animal? Orcas

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? I knocked the fuck out at like 10

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Wildwood by Fleurie

What is my favorite word? Sacapuntas

My top 5 blogs on tumblr? @a-maelstrom @weirdofreakish @wayhaughtship @oliviajoytaylor @earpdearp

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Have you tried taking Bikini Bottom and pushing it over there?

Do I have any relatives in jail? I had a cousin in for check fraud a couple years ago but I didn’t know her so all I used it for was threatening my bullies

What is my current desktop picture?- It’s a wearp season 2 cast photo

Had sex? I’ve done the sex

Bought condoms? Hell no you can get those for free I’m a baller on a budget 

Gotten pregnant? Nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah I don’t mean to brag but she was hella wet

Had job? Several

Smoked weed? I’m high rn so

Smoked cigarettes? I used to when I was in middle school and then I had a crush on this girl who didn’t like them so I stopped and I should really thank her

Drank alcohol? Yup, illegally though because i live in a country where you can go to war before you can drink

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I’ve tried but I have bad enough eating habits already and it made me eat oatmeal all day cause I’m too lazy to do anything right

Been overweight? I was overweight by a lot about 6 months ago

Been underweight? I’m currently underweight

Gotten my heart broken? Yes

Been to prom? Hell yeah! I took my manager from work and we slow danced to Beautiful by James Blunt

Been in airplane? UNfortunately

Learned another language? I took AP spanish for 7 years

Wore make up? Yup

Dyed my hair? So many times

Had a surgery? Tonsils only

Met someone famous? I’ve met a bunch of bands over the years at Warped Tour

Stalked someone on a social network? Of course

Been fishing? Yup! It’s a right of passage when you grow up on an island

Been rejected by a crush? Of course

What do I want for birthday? I want to give myself this present and I want to have at least posted my first video to my youtube channel

Do I like my handwriting? I love it

Where do I want to live when older? Canada

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? No my parents are dumb

What I’m really bad at? Playing instruments

What my greatest achievments are- I finally looked at my tumblr theme after like 4 years of not knowing what it looks like and its actually not that bad

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me- Lmao I can’t think of anything that could be on that level right now but the other day my mother looked me in the eyes and goes “You know your life sucks right?”

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Damn I’d but a new computer immediately and then move across the world

What do I like about myself- My jawline

My closest Tumblr friend- @a-maelstrom

Any question you’d like? My favorite school house rock song is the Preamble song

Are you outgoing or shy? I’m not shy I just generally don’t like talking to other humans

What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind ones

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Maybe? If I’ve learned anything from life it’s that you really never know but I DAMN HOPE

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? It depends on who it’s with but most of the time no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My friend Shaf

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “No, we’re good.”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Icon- Jaden Smith, Bottom of the deep blue sea- Missio, Let you go- Machine gun kelly, little sister- trixie mattel, and In the middle- dodie

Do you like it when people play with your hair? 10/10 would die for that shit

Do you think there is life on other planets? Definitely

Do you like bubble baths? I do but I’m too large for my tub and it’s very sad

Do you like your neighbors? I don’t think I have ever said a single word to a single one of them

Where would you like to travel? San Fransisco

Favorite part of your daily routine? Playing video games

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Every single one of my bits

What do you do when you wake up? Wish I was back asleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker, I’m pale as fuck

Do you ever want to get married? If I find the right person

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? A tiny one on top of my head

Would you rather live without TV or music? I’d rather die thanks

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Of course

What are your favorite stores to shop in? Amazon

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I guess it depends but mostly yeah

Do you smile at strangers? HA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I mispelled my name on twitter and was too lazy to change it but today a guy called me out so I changed it and acted like I didn’t because I’ll do what I want sir

Ever wished you were someone else? I used to a lot

Favourite makeup brand? I know nothing about make up

Last thing you ate? Mac and cheese

Ever won a competition? For what? Soccer

Ever been in love? Yes

Facebook or Twitter? Twitter and if you’d like to follow me my name is AmongSeattle

Okay that took a lot longer than I had anticipated but I had a lot of fun. Thank you so much for taking the time to test how much my computer can take before it gives in. Join me next time when I’ll probably be answering 500 questions and encoding my social security into the text :*

#my asks #among seattle