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samanthaswishes · 2 years

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Agents of SHIELD Rewatch Season 2B (ep. 11-22)

It's been months, but the rewatches are back!

Here's my commentary on my rewatch of Agents of SHIELD Season 2 Episodes 11-22. This may not be the best commentary since these are just the thoughts and opinions that come to my mind as I watch the episodes rather than a full-blown analysis, but I'm just having fun with it!

2x11 Aftershocks

This is also the first set of rewatches on Disney+, and you can't skip the recaps, so I get to watch Trip crumble to pieces TWICE in one episode. Making me cry this weekend, why don't you.

Baby Gordon! Also, this flashback scene takes place in 1983, which means it's probably not that long before Kora dies. It's crazy to look back on this scene after s7, knowing that Kora currently exists in that flashback.

Also, JIAYING!! She's still one of my favorite characters.

I want Jiaying to hug me and comfort me and tell me everything is going to be alright.

"They would be lost" as it cuts to Skye😭

AND THERE'S the second Trip crumbling of the day.

Skye... why are you wearing shoes in bed?

Just gonna say this now, Chloe's performance in this episode is *chef's kiss*

I remember watching this episode for the first time and just being absolutely devastated we didn't have Trip anymore. I'm still devastated.

Dr. List and Von Strucker mention.

So, why was Raina going on a killing spree in the temple?

I JUST WANNA HUG SKYE🥺

Also, I miss big sister Bobbi with the quarantine survival kit.

"I think you're a rockstar"🥺

"Come home, Jemma" I love this family.

Skye's heart monitor is literally going off the rails, signifying that her heart rate is dangerously high, yet no one heard or noticed?

"Smile!"😃

The plan for Bakshi to "escape" is both ridiculous and hilarious.

"ThEy'Ll NeVeR tAkE uS aLiVe!"

Okay, but what would have May's version of the plan been like?

Also Bobbi just casually wheeling her motorcycle out.

Okay, I understand where Jemma is coming from and her fears surrounding it, but I feel like she shouldn't have blown up in front of Skye, who was affected by all of this. Again, I totally understand Jemma's reaction, I just feel like talking about this as an epidemic and something dangerous isn't something to be said in front of someone who is affected.

Ooh, Raina, don't call his daughter a bitch.

Cal's little happy dance😂

It's sad hearing Cal talk about his plan, knowing what we know about Jiaying later.

"I can't live like this" "Then don't" Damn, this got dark quick, and it's just gonna get darker.

Props to Ruth Negga for putting on amazing performances while having to deal with all those thorns.

Hunter is a better spy than the show gave him credit for. Sure, he's made pretty shitty choices, but he's pretty good at the job. He was suspicious of Bobbi and Mack the whole time.

Also, the only part that makes this season hard to watch is the whole 'Real Shield' thing and the way Bobbi and Mack are around the team, which sucks cause I love Mack and Bobbi. They're literally my favorite characters after Daisy and May.

Oh Mack, you do so much more than just 'working on Lola one day'.

Again, talking about putting Raina down in front of Skye? I understand Jemma, but there are just some things you shouldn't talk about in front of someone who was just traumatized due to the same experience as said person you want to put down.

Did anyone else notice that the music Skye is listening to on headphones is the same score used during the Ghost Rider pod in season 4?

300bpm, that's 5 beats per second. For reference, my resting heart rate at this current moment is 90bpm, which is 1.5 beats per second. Skye's heart rate at the time of the collapse was roughly 3.33 times faster than my current heart rate.

"That's inhuman" we love to see it.

Again, can we not tell Skye that something's wrong with her?

I made a post about this a while ago, but besides the fact that her powers may have just been exposed, Skye might have been nervous about the broken glass because of what happened with the crystal decanter she broke at a foster home, which she mentions in like 6 episodes.

Also, I love these soft May moments. The way she goes from comforting Skye to freaking out in a protective manner over the fact that she's bleeding.

The way Trip's mom just knew😭

If you follow me, you know my opinions on Fitz and my disdain for him, and I don't agree with the fact that Fitz kept telling Skye to hide her powers as she could have gotten help sooner, but "You're just different now, and there's nothing wrong with that" will forever be one of my favorite lines from the show.

Raina, baby, no :(

"COME ON, GIRL"😭

Why couldn't we have more family moments like the end of this episode?

2x12 Who You Really Are

Welcome back, Lady Sif! I loved seeing her in Loki, and I really hope we get her back in Thor: Love and Thunder (was it ever confirmed that she was going to be in it? I can't remember).

The May and Skye sparring scene... *chef's kiss*

"I didn't want to hurt you" and then May's gesture that's just like "You think you can?"😂

Also, THAT transition

"Son of Coul"

In canon, how did they get that picture during 1x15?😅

Why did they have to make the Kree's weapon look like a mallet you would beat meat with? lol.

So, now the ICERs are dangerous? I don't remember them saying dangerous for some reason, and now I feel for Skye with the after-effects after she shoots herself later in the episode.

"I can" Love that May is crushing on Thor. And just Coulson's face after she says that haha.

"i BaReLy ToUcHeD iT"

"I learned this as a child, did you not?"

Agents of SPOOF has forever ruined the scene where they find the Kree cause I can no longer watch this scene without the song "Blue" going through my head.

I love the parallel they make in s7 of Kora's gun quaking apart to Skye's in this episode, even if Kora wasn't the one causing the quakes.

I love how Sif was about to explain the concept of a key to Coulson.

Yes, Mack is a pretty boy.

The zoom in on the water glass. The way water glasses have become something of a symbol for Daisy's powers!

The way May just knew the shaking was from Skye and that something was up all along.

Love how May and Coulson don't even think twice about grabbing Skye and standing in front of her.

Why Bambino for the name of the "I know what it does" weapon?😂

Mack just goes from "we'll decide what she is😠" to "Tremors🤩" and I love that.

May grabbed her and ran, and then she took a knee and got on Skye's level, just as a special someone had once told her to do🥺

No one talks about the May and Daisy scene in this episode enough. Just the way May says "Skye" tells you everything about their relationship and how much they care.

It's there for a split second, but the way May just softly touches Skye and moves her hair😩 (I'm obviously touched starved, can't you tell? lol)

Ugh, I always hate that line from Mack given his and Daisy's amazing relationship later. You can see the regret on his face when he sees her though. Ugh, can we just move on from the painful parts, please?

2x13 One of Us

"I'm stopping them before they start" Oh, Skye, baby. If only you knew what you were doing to yourself.

May's thoughts: "Is he really asking me to contact my ex right now?"

And there he is, Dr. Andrew Garner, the husband blueprint.

Also, Andrew is a great therapist, laying down the rules for treating Skye.

Love that Lian May still likes Andrew and invites him over for dinner despite her daughter having been divorced from him for years. I mean, I would too.

This is an Andrew Garner appreciation blog.

Here's one of the one-liners we get of Daisy's past in the foster system. Never will forgive the writers for just forgetting this major part of Daisy and having the characters treat her like she didn't have this trauma as well.

Also love how even Andrew grew a soft spot for Skye/Daisy as time went on.

"I'm not suicidal" UGHHHHH SEASON 2 WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THIS. SEASON 4 IS COMING UGHHHHHH. Glad they care for her this season. You will hear from me more on this when we get to s4a cause I have A LOT to say about how they treated Daisy.

Did we ever establish EXACTLY was the photo on Andrew's desk?

Love how we found out that May can't cook and just ran with it in fanfics😅

Fitzsimmons gossiping about May and Andrew is such a mood.

"You need backup" "I need backup"

That kid filming with his iPhone is the only realistic thing in this show.

NOT THE BIRDS

Mack, imma have to disagree with you on that. I actually like pineapple on pizza.

As much as I absolutely love the 'May and Coulson are Daisy's adoptive parents' fics, where are all the 'May and Andrew are Daisy's adoptive parents' fics? Cause the way Skye talked to them, convincing them to let her go, just gave me 'daughter talking to her parents' vibes.

Skye's shaking can be because she's scared and it works, but given that you can see everyone's breath, it was probably, no doubt, freezing cold when they filmed the football field fight.

I totally forgot Bobbi was hiding under the bleachers. That made me laugh😂

THAT👏🏼 MAY👏🏼 POWER👏🏼 WALK👏🏼

Again, I JUST WANT TO HOLD BABY SKYE. She's over here watching the people she cares about the most destroy people who are gifted just like her.

Can we talk about the May and Coulson Worried Parent™ running?

"We're as close to a family as Skye has"🥺

2x14 Love in the Time of Hydra

You know, I really liked this stretch of episodes without Ward. Now, he's back. Gross.

I also just feel really bad for Kara

Look at that, the only time the MCU actually might have looked at Bruce's mental health and how he might actually not want the Hulk. Did we all just forget about how he said he tried to kill himself in The Avengers?

Not Fitz talking about being glad that certain people don't have choices the better themselves.

Watching May and Coulson talk about taking Skye out of the picture so she can better control her powers, knowing that something is up with Bobbi and Mack, is really neat. They were always thinking ahead.

"Off to see the wizard"

There are so many parts of this episode, I honestly have no idea what's going on lol.

The team canonically had karaoke nights.

The whole 'Real Shield' thing is so frustrating. Like, I understand some aspects of what they are saying, even Coulson later agreed, but their execution is just terrible.

Wait, so Jemma knew that there were going to be repercussions of the casts she made for Skye?

Thinking about all the flashbacks Skye was having when Coulson told her to "pack a bag"🥺 You can just see it in the way her face totally drops and the shaky breath she takes.

LOLA BACKSTORY

I will never get over May's voice coming out of Skye's mouth. This whole scene is just weird and creepy😣

I'm just tired of Ward justifying everything he's done wrong on his past when Daisy had gone through a rough upbringing as well, and she came out the most selfless person ever. She didn't become a little murderer.

"You seem so well adjusted" EXCUSE ME. DID YOU JUST SAY THAT ABOUT WARD???

Not gonna lie, Ward and Kara breaking into Talbot's base does make me laugh. It's just so chaotic.

Talbot's soldiers have to go through so much haha😅

"If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is a spy in my house" and the cut to Mack OMG.

Does Mack really think he can outsmart THE Melinda May?

Kara punching Bakshi was very satisfying.

At the time of rewatching this episode, I had rewatched (again) all of season 1 and prior episodes of season 2 (just so it says I watched them on Disney+), but I never noticed in 2x02 how Coulson told Hunter that there were people he trusted that vouched for him and that 'people' was Bobbi.

"I'm just trying to fix her!" UGHHH THIS LINE HURTS EVERY TIME. SIMMONS WHY? I LOVE YOU BUT THE XENOPHOBIA HURTSSS.

Not the edible arrangements😂

Again, feel so sorry for Kara.

2x15 One Door Opens

THE WAY BOBBI BUSTS THROUGH THE DOORS. YES QUEENNN!

I wish we got more Hartley before she died.

"The path we've chosen, makes you forget your lines sometimes" is one of my favorite bloopers.

Gotta hand it to Coulson's quick thinking.

Love how Bobbi knew it was safer to just break through glass than to voluntarily fight May.

Also, May and Bobbi fight... *chef's kiss*

When did Bobbi and/or Mack have the time to put a monitor in a fire extinguisher that's out in the open?

I don't understand the logistics of the casts. Like, I know it suppresses the powers, but like, what makes it so Skye feels woozy? Like, that should have been something to note.

As someone who hates horror movies, the very not-that-scary horror-esc scene/buildup did kinda scare me the first time I watched haha.

If I opened my front door, and some guy like Gordan was standing there, I would have screamed and shut the door right then and there.

Gordan is aware of exactly who Skye is, right? I wonder if he knew her during the few months before Whitehall. I mean, he had known Jiaying since at least 1983, and she wasn't born until 1988.

Also, I wonder if Gordan ever thought about Kora during those moments with Skye, a girl who was scared of herself and didn't have an idea of how to control her abilities.

SMART GIRL JEMMAAAA

They don't want secrets, but they're willing to break into a base, potentially hurting a lot of people? Again, Real Shield frustrates me.

Skye discovering new aspects of her powers will always be my favorite part of the episode.

Fitz and Simmons holding hands and being there for each other after Real Shield invades is sweet.

And people don't understand why Skye wanted to stay at Afterlife more than Shield. May wasn't able to finish, so Skye believed all of Shield was after her. Then, of course, she was chased through the woods and shot at.

May is the dictionary picture of loyalty.

Why is Coulson being sent down that elevator so funny?😅

Damn, I really hate Calderon.

Again, Skye only attacked to protect herself. SHIELD ATTACKED FIRST.

Love how much Bobbi still cares about Skye. The scream of her name was pure terror for her.

And there's the quake shield! Shame we only see her use her powers like that again in the series finale.

So, does Skye just not remember arriving at Afterlife? Did she like pass out as soon as she and Gordon got there?

2x16 Afterlife

Thank you Coulson for icing that guy cause that actor (the car salesman) is a pedophile (I know this cause he was the dad/grandfather on Andi Mack and they had to cut him out of the show)

What was the point of having Skye in two pieces of cloth?

And there's Mr. Battery Pack Lincoln Campbell.

Thank you Bobbi for defending Skye.

How would you have been invited IF COULSON DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT YOU?

So Jemma and Fitz made their plan pretty early on given that Jemma didn't have much of a reaction about Fitz "packing his things"

"I lost her"😭

The little foreshadowing to the following episode with Bahrain!

Hunter waking up like that is a mood.

Hunter is a whole mood this whole episode actually.

So, those shield agents were there with the battering ram for an hour? I'd give up after like five minutes.

After season 3, I know that Daisy and Lincoln weren't ready for the relationship they could have had at the time, but I will admit that they're cute. He's the one who convinced her that her powers could be a good thing. It's nice to see someone caring about her.

You mention Trip, and I will start crying.

MIKE PETERSON!!!!!!!

AND THERE'S JIAYING

Skye knows there's a connection between her and Jiaying.

Is Lincoln aware of the relationship?

That scene hurt knowing that Jiaying lost Daisy, but watching this after s7 and knowing she's also hurting because of Kora, it hurts even more. UGHHHH WHY DOES THIS SHOW MAKE ME FEEL FEELINGS.

Hunter just wants to go to Mexico.

2x17 Melinda

May and Andrew were such a good-looking couple.

THEY WANTED TO HAVE A FAMILY AND HAVE KIDSSS😭😭

"Best Security System in the World" yes she is.

Thinking about how Coulson wanted to bring May onto the Avengers Initiative with him.

Okay, but how cool/emotional/sad would it have been if we got a young Eva Belyakov in season 7 when they went to Afterlife?

The fact that Skye is still trying to justify SHIELD and blame herself when Jiaying is trying to make her see that she had every right to fire back IN DEFENSE. And people wonder why Skye """turned""" on SHIELD.

The Quake theme when she causes the avalanche. Ugh, I will never not get emotional when I hear that theme.

May's smile when she first sees Katya😭 WHY DOES THIS EPISODE HAVE TO HURT!!

I really feel bad for Raina.

The water glasses is making me season 7 emotional. (7x10, why did you have to be so sad???)

Another reason I love this episode aside from the Bahrain backstory is that it actually touches upon Daisy's trauma with foster care and abandonment and actually acknowledges what it has done to her character instead of ignoring it and treating her like shit.

"I tried some of the scotch too."

*26 Skye. You're 26. (Though Chloe I'm pretty sure was only 22 or 23 when filming this episode)

JIAYING KNOWS YOUR BIRTHDAY SKYE!!!

"You were born on July 2nd." And I'm going to go cry now.

Dichen and Chloe's acting and emotion in this scene is just phenomenal!!

"I was too afraid to hope"

Why did the universe allow people to hurt Jiaying and Daisy?

"Shield is not authorized for any action" *one second later* "Go"

"Bio always works" foreshadowing for 4x14!

The whole "Get down on her level or grab her and run like hell" scene is so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, and seeing this happen in 2x12, ugh I really love this show.

"Do good Melinda, but come home"

I know I haven't said too much on the Bahrain flashback, but I'm just so invested in it. Seeing the famous backstory of May come to fruition... it's all so amazing and painful all at the same time.

I always have and always will love May, and I understand May being upset that Coulson was keeping secrets from her, like seeing Andrew for counseling about the alien writing, but I feel like she was a little too harsh with him given the secrets she kept from him last season. I know that was for his own protection, but still. Again, I still feel like May has every right to be upset. Just the way she went about it just felt like an uncalled for reverse of last season. Just my opinion.

Were they trying to have some sort of romance thing between Gordan and Raina? I don't know... the whole "I can take you to amazing places" just gave me that vibe.

The connection between Jiaying and Bahrain is so chilling every single time.

AND THE KATYA REVEAL. There are so many moments from the show I want to watch for the first time again, and that is one of them. The realization for the audience and both May on what has to be done. Again, CHILLING.

I'm a more casual Philinda shipper, but I still love their friendship so much. The way Coulson ignored the Bahrainian forces and pushed past them when he heard the gunshot and went in for May. You can just see that friendship so clearly.

THE IMAGE OF MAY JUST CRADLING KATYA😭

"The Calvary went in after all"

"Let the girl go" CRYING

If I'm remembering correctly, Daisy must have been AT LEAST over six months old when she was dropped off at the orphanage. I'm pretty sure she was more. A six month old is very different from a newborn baby. How did they mess up her age by A WHOLE YEAR??

"He is a monster" "He was good once" THE FACT THAT THIS ALSO APPLIES TO JIAYING!! I feel so bad for her. Jiaying deserved better.

AND RAINA IS THE TRUE CLAIRVOYANT *cue the That's So Raina clip from Agents of SPOOF*

Way to go, Hunter. You've made it to Mexico!

I don't think I said this last episode, but I loved the Coulson-Hunter teamup.

2x18 Frenemy of My Enemy

The way Hunter is just avoiding eye contact with Fitz when Ward is mentioned lol.

Sad watching Cal like this, knowing Jiaying wants to send him away.

Again, was Lincoln aware of the relationship between Skye and Jiaying prior to this?

The Bobbi and Mack sparring scene is pretty cool too.

The "Simmons, what did you do" had May giving a hard Mom Face™

"Hey, baby😏" "Hey, sweetie😃"

That little interaction between Kara and Mike is so funny to me for some reason.

The whole Coulson wanting to use TAHITI on Ward still confuses me. Like yeah, Ward won't remember he was bad, but what about him being wanted?? Did Coulson have a plan for that?

I understand Jiaying has reservations against Raina, and rightfully so, cause of what she knows from Cal and Skye, but it still rubs me weird that she is questioning the existence of her gift knowing that anyone can be the first of their kind like Gordon.

From this point forward, the rest of the points are written like a month later cause school sucks, but it’s summer vacation now, so I have time finally!

So have Kara and Ward just been planning revenge on Bobbi for like a while or something?

Yes, Ward. That house is your last.

We love Mike cock-blocking them cause... gross.

“Gordo"

I love Cal. Just want to say that again.

I want more of Cal and Jiaying's love story. But then again, it'll probably make the whole thing even more sad than it already is and make me cry even harder.

Also funny how Skye was going to be brought up in the same state Coulson was born in.

“And I empathize" IF THIS DOESN'T EXPLAIN DAISY'S WHOLE CHARACTER I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOES.

SHUT THE FUCK UP WARD

I sort of kinda like Fitz and Simmons relationship in these later episodes of season 2 and the trust they are willing to put into each other.

JIAYING WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR😭

Cal wanted Skye to go to a charter school. Fun fact: I attended a charter school. Honestly, don't know what makes a chater school a charter school, but to me, my school was if you mixed a private school and public school and it was K-12. We wore uniforms, but there wasn't a tuition and it was opened to the public. You just had to be put onto a waiting list and you got in by lottery. I got in in 5th grade and graduated high school from there in 2019.

This scene reminds me of the Pirates of the Caribbean scene for some reason.

So, no one saw Mike's gun come out and go back in?

Cal complaining about capitalism is a mood.

“I'm kidding... sort of" about the liquor.

Skye's pickpocketing skills!!!!

Skye got the neopolatin ice cream sandwich. Love that for her.

See Lincoln, you could be a spy.

Hunter referring quantum entaglement as torture has the same energy as Scott Lang thinking of quantum entaglement as something sexual.

DAISY JOHNSON DAISY JOHNSON DAISY JOHNSON

And the soft Quake theme when she says her name for the very first time😭

The hula dancer🥺

I find it weird that Cal wanted to show the tools used to put Jiaying together. It might just be me, but I would be creeped out.

EVERYONE COMING TOGETHER!!!

Does Lincoln have any previous fighting experience? Cause he acts fast and knows what to do with his powers.

Also, despite everything, Skye still has faith in SHIELD and knows its Hydra.

It's cliche, but Skye falling on top of Lincoln is kinda cute.

Lincoln's face of recognition when trying to eletrocute Mike😂

“Sure, and I'm the Hulk"

Ward is still obsessed with Skye if he willingly followed Coulson like that.

I'd be a little pissed if I saw someone I trusted with Ward too, not gonna lie.

The way Skye was going to reunite with Coulson before Gordon got her🥺

SHIELD was that slow to get there?

Take me to your leader"

2x19 The Dirty Half Dozen

Excited for this one. One of my favorite episodes from this season.

Jiaying has such a maternal feel to her, which I love, but I always find it funny when she comforts Raina knowing that Ruth Negga is actually older than Dichen Lachman (only by like a month though).

I understand Jiaying's anger towards Cal after he revealed Skye's identity and relation to her when she had wanted that hidden.

Were there always those bright lights in the Cage? Cause it was always dark in there.

“I like seeing my Bus" I just remembered this is the last episode with the Bus, which continues to be my favorite SHIELD base/aircraft.

User-Friendly Cal™

I totally understand Jiaying's fears, but there are also the "never leave a man behind" values that Skye has.

So Mike and Lincoln are in the same cells that Wanda and Pietro were in, right? At least the same facility.

Love Mike's sarcasm.

Having to say "Hail Hydra" after every phone call must be annoying.

“Dazzled"

Coulson translation: "I'm taking my og team cause I love them and they're mine. Except for Ward, he's more of an inconvenience, but I need to use him"

There are windows other than the cockpit of the quinjet?

Don't worry Hunter, I'd be nauseous looking at Ward and Kara together.

Can May beat the shit out of Ward again? Please.

My Team™

I realized I haven't said much about Gonzalez. Is there even much to say?

I don't know if Coulson really had to tell May about seeing Andrew. Yeah, it hits a more personal nerve, I get that, and May can be upset, but I understand Coulson not wanting to discuss his own medical records.

Don't like Gonzalez saying the agents going on the mission are worth the risk, saying that they are more expendable than Bobbi. Bobbi's not expendable either, but I think you get what I'm saying.

THE OGs!

Jemma's first question being "Are you making friends?"🥺

I love the entire team death staring Ward.

“I'm still happy I shot you" ME TOO.

Jemma, Fitz, AND MAY agreeing with Skye is a whole mood.

“Ward, just no more talking to people" Yes, please shut him up.

That little comment about needles was all Kara needed from Bobbi.

Thinking about how they all had to pack their belongings from the Bus aka Skye's first real home.

And goodbye Bus. You were a great part of the show, and I will forever miss you.

“Really starting to wish I hadn't eaten that Hot Pocket earlier" is such a random line and I love it.

Also thinking about all the chaos the cast had while filming this scene. Between Chloe and Clark with the fart machine and Brett doing a little too much when they were "falling", I just love these cast moments.

Also an appreciation for Ponytail May.

Ward's confusion with Skye's powers will always be funny to me though.

“So that's what happened in Puerto Rico."

I also always think about how StaticQuake was a little interesting and weird for Chloe as she has a younger brother who is actually named Lincoln.

Ward's confusion and sass are enjoyable in this episode. A little. Only a little. Like a smidge.

ALSO THE ONE-SHOT FIGHT!!!

Chloe deserves all the recognition for that fight scene, especially since she broke her arm during it.

“Either come with me now or you're next" "Okay, after you" Always listen to Melinda May.

Bobbi and Mack's happiness when the mission is a success is nice though.

MARIA I LOVE YOU

Episodes like this make me wish I had watched the show when it was live.

2x20 Scars

KEONIGS!!!!!!

Call your sister" sticky note, LT FORESHADOWING

Glad to know SHIELD was the "friends" mentioned in Age of Ultron. I guess that's the only time the movies ever mentioned the show.

Thank you Bobbi for defending Coulson

Also, like how Coulson was able to see some of the errors that 'Real SHIELD' was right about.

Skye staying with Lincoln is giving major Sousa staying with Daisy vibes.

I wonder if the man's son Raina talked about eventually did go through the mist. I mean, he must have if Raina saw it. I'm just wondering when.

Oh yeah, this is the episode that introduced the monolith, that damn thing.

Okay, but why did SHIELD decide to keep the monolith from Hydra instead of, you know, destroying it.

People always are harsh towards Skye for siding with the inhumans for a bit there and uses it as an excuse to hate on her, but the way May and Coulson are already taking about the inhumans, asking "are they people" could give Skye the impression of what they may view her as. They kinda throw away her connection to the people and not listen to her when she tries to explain why she trusts them. Honestly, Skye has no reason to trust SHIELD right now as they chased her through the woods not too long ago.

I don't agree with Skye throwing Bahrain at May like that as she knows the trauma May has with it, but people also use it as another excuse to hate on Skye. May was egging her on, telling her the inhumans were dangerous. Yes, they were scared of the monolith. Another example of no one listening to Skye. Again, I don't think Skye should have thrown that at May, but I don't exactly use it against her overall character when May and Coulson were putting all that onto Skye.

Here they go with the Indexing. This is the part I don't agree with Coulson one bit. Indexing those with powers is a violation, and the show itself shows why it's a bad thing during season 4 with the Sokovia Accords.

“I miss my plane" ME TOO

THE HULA GIRL😭

“One of the greatest threats SHIELD has ever faced" You mean the innocent people who want nothing to do with you? and not, you know, THE NAZI ORGANIZATION THAT WAS IN YOUR ORGANIZATION FOR THE LAST 70 YEARS!?!?

I'm always indecisive if Gonzalez going in instead of Coulson was a good idea. Coulson is too close to the situation with Skye, but Gonzalez's views of these people are all wrong.

That "May" and Bobbi leaving scene was way too quick that the signs weren't there and may for an interesting reveal.

And here's Mack's first attempt at quitting. Wait til he finds out he's Director in 2019.

Mack joined SHIELD in 2002 (13 years prior to 2015).

“My people would never blindly follow me into a war" Until you start one...

“It's me who's changed" THIS LINE HURTS SO BAD

“I think we've been spending too much time together"

And the confusion of two Mays begins.

FUCK YOU WARD

How did they even get the coordinates with Afterlife? It was because they were watching Gordon, right?

Fun fact for those who may not know, the actress who played Alisha (the multiplier), Alicia Vela-Bailey, is also the stunt double for Bobbi and her husband (I don't know his name) was the stunt double for Ward, so the fight between them in the finale is essentially a husband and wife fight.

“I was always excited to meet you" AWWWWW

I love May, she's my favorite after Daisy, but her totally disregarding the fact that Gonzalez did in fact send agents to contain and possibly kill Skye rubs me the wrong way. Does that count as gaslighting? Another reason Skye was more inclined to side with the inhuman than SHIELD.

“I hope your mother was everything you wanted her to be" always hits me, especially when Daisy brings it back in 7x10.

The turn with Jiaying almost feels sudden, but the episodes leading up have small clues. Also, she's right. Her scars from Hydra are much deeper and painful than Gonzalez's.

There's a certain type of feeling hearing Jiaying, a victim, quote Whitehall, her absuer. It's creepy, but you know shit is about to go down.

I see so many reactors and podcasters call Skye stupid for siding with the inhumans, but from her side, it looks like SHIELD shot at Jiaying. She had no way of knowing. Given SHIELD's record at this point, I'd probably have the same reaction.

2x21 S.O.S. Part 1

Lincoln's little slide to Jiaying is funny to me. I don't know why.

I'll never understand Jiaying's order for the inhumans to fire on themselves. That is literally getting your people hurt.

And now the blame for "SHIELD" hurting the inhumans is all put on Skye. Someone please just tell this girl that none of this is her fault.

And a SHIELD agent literally shot an inhuman right in front of Skye. People really need to stop saying Skye chose wrong. She has no reason to believe SHIELD.

OOOHH SHE DREW BLOOD FROM MELINDA MAY

Small Ruben Mackenzie mention

May waking up from being unconscious with Cal singing is so funny for no reason. She is just immediately like "WTF??"

Coulson is the only one considering that Skye doesn't have the full story and understands why she's acting the way she is.

And the true purpose of Jiaying's power is revealed, and it is quite terrifying.

To be fair, Skye chose based on how people have been treating her.

“Generosity of others" Not sure that guy was willing to give up his life.

Surprised Jiaying didn't have much of a reaction to hearing her daughter had been shot before. She was literally on the verge of death.

“When I find him, I'm going to kill him" Yes, please do, May.

As someone who hates needles, Ward putting those needles in Bobbi's fingers always makes me feel sick.

“It's her usefulness" Don't really like Skye's value being her use.

“There's always someone else to blame" And there's Ward's entire character arc cause he can never take responsibility for his own morals and actions.

Bye Bye Raina. You were a fun and interesting character.

Also, Jiaying, say bye to your daughter cause you just lost her trust.

This was the one time (I think) that Jiaying called her Daisy by her birth name in front of her.

Why Spain, Ward?

To be fair, Ward, May chose you, not Coulson.

The knee break always gets me😬

I've said it before, but Skye's family story is so sad I feel so sorry for all of them.

And here, we start the great Daisy and Mack friendship/sibling-ship that becomes one of my favorite platonic relationships in the whole show.

How many multiples can Alisha make at once? Cause she makes three right now.

Mack is such a badass I love him.

Monster Cal is hilarious.

This SHIELD team just loves to run their cars into people, don't they?

2x22 S.O.S. Part 2

That damn battering ram.

Poor Cal. He just wanted his family back together.

I'm about to theorize about Jiaying's power. We know she can drain life, but then season 7 comes around, and it is implied that she can give life to heal others. So basically, is Jiaying like a holder for life? Like a container? She can drain life, but she hangs onto it, causing her to not age, until she is needed to heal someone else? Just a thought.

“Just you and me, Tremors" MY HEART!!!!!

“Not the skills I'm looking for" Glad someone remembers Skye's root abilities.

Thank you, Lincoln, for finally questioning Jiaying's intentions.

Ginger Ninjas™

I know how this episode ends, but Hunter slowly opening doors still makes me nervous.

Kara, do you really think you can outsmart Melinda May?

BOBBI NOOOOOOOO

HAHAHAHA THAT'S YOUR FAULT WARD

It's always small moments of May's expression going really soft that really show you how much she cares about her team. I love that she shows her love for them through her actions, but these small moments are really nice too.

I wanna know more about specialists like May's medical ability as May seemed to tend to Bobbi on the way back to base. Obviously, I feel like CPR is must from all agents, but like, to what extent at Operations were they taught medical treatments?

“I just wanted to hear your voice" MAY AND ANDREW WERE SO SWEET😭

“Do good Melinda, then get home safe." UGGHHHH MY HEART

Bobbi and Hunter's relationship making everyone question their love lives.

Also, I feel for Jemma. I always felt like her wanting to talk to Fitz felt like she was forced to by herself. Like she felt like it was something she had to do since their friendship would never be the same, so might as well try the love thing out. That's just how I felt about it.

Jiaying is such a great character. I constantly feel sorry for what has happened to her and who she eventually became.

“I'm the guy who kills Gordon" YES

Never mind, Jiayings says "Daisy" to Daisy at least one more time.

No-Eyes™

“Hiya Honey"😀

I don't like Jiaying throwing that back at Cal. He is trying to protect Daisy. At this point, he's protecting her from you.

“Trust me, you will miss"

Skye really did hold her own really well against the Ginger Ninjas.

Jiaying actually is right in the situation, but, like she said in 7x10, she went about it all wrong. The inhumans did simply need protection cause the world wasn't ready for them.

First time watching, I knew the moment Jiaying put her hand on Skye's face what was going to happen.

Jiaying calling her children her true gifts, but then turning around and betraying her own daughter.😭

QUAKE THEME (yes, I will say it time everytime it's there)

“We're not bad, we're misled" Another reason they shouldn't need the Index.

That stabbing sound is a heart attack waiting to happen. Was actually scared for Fitz when I watched it the first time.

Also goodbye Coulson's Left Hand™

Again, Johnson Family story is just so sad and heartbreaking. Feel sorry for Daisy, Cal, and Jiaying for everything that has happened to them.

AOS Don't Kill Jiaying By Snapping Her Spine Challenge is clearly a fail.

Prints for Zephyr 1!

I wanna see Bobbi on morphine.

I want someone to watch over me the way SHIELD men watch over their loved ones when they're hurt.

What does Bobbi actually mean when she says "I can't do this anymore"

“Cutting off my hand without asking"

Was Mack being in charge of alien artifacts ever said again after the finale?

YES MAY! YOU TAKE THAT BIKINI WITH YOU! YOU ALSO DESERVE THIS BREAK!

Who had Andrew recruited for the Secret Warriors at this point? File seems big.

“I imagined you perfect, and you're way more interesting than that" Wish my parents thought the same thing about me. I'm just projecting now.

SHIELD should have adopted an agency dog from Cal's practice.

SHE'S DAISY SHE'S DAISY SHE'S DAISY SHE'S DAISY

I love her.

If it's just Daisy, how come the file is big and Andrew said he already had names.

Daisy is worthy of touching and DRIVING Lola!

AND WE'RE ABOUT TO MEET SOME GREAT INHUMANS LIKE JOEY AND ELENA!

BYE SIMMONS! HAVE FUN ON ANOTHER PLANET FOR 4,722 HOURS!

Would just like to mention, Seasons 4 and 7 might be the most enjoyable seasons for me to watch, but season 2 will always have a special place in my heart. Not just cause Daisy is my favorite character, but being Half-Asian myself, seeing a Half-Asian character like Daisy discover herself and really dive deep into her heritage is something that’s just so special to me. I could go on and on how Daisy has made me feel seen and made me want to connect more with my Filipino heritage, but there just aren’t enough words to describe it. Just wanted to leave this here about why I love season 2 so much.

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alucior · 12 days

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having a job is great in the way i have money now wich is a win. like i was never super broke or anything like it, just going from that to more or less full time? world of difference. however nearly two and a half months into this I'm fucking tired.

for context i work for the postal service wich means getting up at 3 am to het to work at like 4:25 or so. i know i don't have to get up this early but i don't want to get up and leave immediately. so that also means getting to bed and sleeping at like eight, its currently closer to ten and I'm still awake so I'm doing well.

idk, on one side when I'm done even if its before my official end hour i can just walk out and still get my full hours paid. it's just annoying that this just means I'm getting home at noon tired from working but unable to sleep cause its day now.

i just wanna sleep for fibe days, and like work online for something. i don't even care how or what, i just don't want to be outside delivering newspapers before the sun comes up and delivering letters dor like four hours each day. its not even letters most of the time, just advertising. be it addressed or not, comercial or not, every single day there are more.

one of these says im not gonna sign the week contracts i get, fly out to Scotland and spend a week there reading in the middle of nowhere.

I'm just so fucking tired.

#fj yaps

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theorist-influencer-untitled · 2 months

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3.8.24 Friday

2:08 am

I still have windblow.... Tomorrow will surrender my id-badge in Conduent.... I feel fucking bitter in life... What am I gonna do? Where to get luck? Shit! This fucking people who are smashing me since 2007...

2:36 am

Still, have windblow....Done, watching "Thanskgiving", sometimes the crime was made by a police.... Weird and scary.....

9:47 am

Text of Uncle DD but on his name...

Passing the responsibilities, so fake...

1:40 pm

I have windblow... I feel bitter... First I lost the xfactor!! 2nd please reds or 20's even yellow get out of my hair coz you just damaged me just be responsible....I didn't get them..

I lost xfactor for 17 years and I can't get a career growth on my own... But I want yellow intellectual but there is nobody...

Done, surrendering my id-badge in Conduent... The fake Concentrix is still fake on me and remembering the face of that old lady...There are people who are organized to damage me since 2007! No opening in Concentrix Moa even in Cavite, it is just a HUB...

On EXL they are bullshit,the opening for less than 6 months of call center experience will be next month... So,they will just update me...

Hoping and praying for Amazon!

3:07 pm

I have windblow...

I'm in the house now...People of the Philippines ( What is the spelling of Philippines or Flipna-fins? Or in drugs Philippines? ) are so balimbing....Now they are for yellow here in Cavite,I don't like ordinary minds of Filipino's... Now they are on yellow... I just want yellow as symbolism of intellectual marriage.

I'm a college graduate but my country is super drunk these days...I'm thinking of money angels...I wonder who switch the red into yellow,they are all the same...Fake faces!!! Still, having money...

I need money and job angels... Later, will try to check Padis Point at bacoor what opening I can have there just for part time. Singer or waitressing but definetly will go back to call center.... I feel bitter I can speak English and I can't get dates! I need money....

3:33 pm

I have windblow...

It is so strange that I still have menstrual headache or the people in call center are copying me then removing me.....I observed that ever since...

I also hate Church Of Christ, they are all the same.... The UP stole my thunder....Hating them all...

Even Bisayaz are here in Cavite they all took my thunder!!

3:36 pm

This Uncle DD is somehow fake and he couldn't understand without upgrading even there will be TV, in a lil while it needs the TV box of dasca cable to activate the channels....

This Uncle Jun is just a media man here....

I feel fat and ugly... I feel super ugly... I need a job and money!!!

I need to see chiropractor but I don't have bigger fundings... I wanna have nose perfection and my bleaching or lasers... I miss having yaya... Nobody wants me on the black... I can't meet white these days aside from that fucking cute face of Revo....Can they beat that cuteness and with stability???

I need someone who can accept me as me and willing to return my Barbie Image, I need a foot spa...

At the end of sour graping, I need a career growth! I need money in call center...

3:52 pm

I feel intimidated here in Cavite... I don't like Bisayaz then much more silkier than me angels... I feel intimidated...

3:54 pm

I have windblow... I'm so broke.. Can I call a fallen angels to lift me? A call boy or macho dancer but not that bulky... I'm so desparate! I'm supposed to be paying them to be my escort.... That's the problem!!!

I feel bitter!!! No job and No bf!

4:20 pm

I don't like DJ's angels they are so thicked and heartless and insensitive!

4:29 pm

I have windblow!!! GRRR....

I'm so fucking stress and intimidated by the Bisayaz and Cavitenyas.

I wanna cute bf who can lift me up,where can I get that just like the face of Revo....A white skinned this time..... I need a lift and I need a fix on me....

4:45 pm

I didn't know that Padis in Bacoor is loud people...I will try to be a part time singer or waitress...

Shit, loud group....Hmm....I haven't tried singing on a loud crowd.....

4:55 pm

I need money.... I need a part time job just for 2 days....Singer or waitrissing...

I haven't tried singing on a loud people.... I need 2 days per week and I will go back to call center....Will do the job just for 2 days in a week...Who can help me to earn money these days?

I'm a mellow singer not loud....Not that jumpy,not that happy... Will they help me? I love singing in a way... But I didn't have the chance to be on TV.

Someone asked me in the bus awhile ago if I have a manager, I said none... Hope to get Mr Boy or Tita Fermin if ever but in reality I have no manager. I said I need money but I have other job. I really wanna be an artist on TV plus I need a lawyer...

I dream to be super famous, what will be the changes in me if I get famous and if I have lots of money coz of being famous... But I'm always flatten most specially since 2007!

5:13 pm

I always wanted to be acknowledge as you have a pretty face and nice voice and you have really charming pretty face, it healed me and it will heal me that way coz smashing me since 2007 it really hurt me a lot!!! But I always feel fat and ugly coz I'm not fixing at all these days....

Smart is being accepting the possible positive changes going to fame or uphill or any positive changes in life...

8:41 pm

I'm with my friend Ely here in Padi's Bacoor me applying and thanking my friend for always backing-up and possible back-up in a lil while...

Just leave my resume coz I'm gonna be out of fundings in a lil while...

The price here is really for matured people angels...

10:12 pm

With Aries the lead vocal the Friday Band...

11:22 pm

Bar hopping....Different image than Padis,a friend of Ely is here in Epi-Center...

The band is good and if you wanna chill... More on Tagalog songs near 767 Disco club Imus...

Smaller space but cool....

It is somehow the same the price ...I thought there are no alcoholic drinks...

They also sing English-Reggae** ( correction ).

1:49 am

I'm in the house now.....Hmm.... Hope I can get a part time in Padis... Thanks to Ely for accompanying me...

I still feel self-pity coz thinking of money and job... I need money....I will be out of fundings in a lil while... I wanna cry...

2:05 am

Where can I get a handsome and nice and supportive bf, I hate commuting and I miss driving.... But it is hard to get a bf when I'm poor...

I still have windblow and I feel jealous on other women... I feel fat and ugly...

2:34 am

So,weird there was no area 1 jeep route, so strange....I feel bitter here in Cavite...

I feel hopeless....I'm thinking of Mark now coz of Revo's face....I wanna leave Cavite but I hate being 2nd choice... I'm always in the middle of embarassment here in Cavite....I feel ugly....I can't have vanity that is rightful for me.... I feel so intimidated.

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bepatientandpersistent · 11 months

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My constant thought these days is "life is weird". I don't even know how to elaborate on that. This is probably going to be a long rambling nonsensical post. You can read if you want, obviously that's why I put it on here, but I just learned how to put things under the "keep reading" cut. I know, I'm super late 😂 but I don't post on here like I'd like to.

I feel like I've just had so many feelings recently. Today one kind of surprised me because I thought "it's gonna be okay". Like, I tell myself that all the time, because life is a struggle and I need to remind myself to keep going and that things WILL in fact be okay. But today the thought occurred to me subconsciously without me having to force it. So, maybe things will actually be okay.

I've been really struggling financially for a couple months. Well, actually about 7 months, since my mom's income got suspended (she's on SSI). We finally got that resolved last month and it helps a ton, she can pay her own bills now. But my bills are behind because I was helping her AND I chose to go down to one day a week at the hotel. I have been doing door dash and spark deliveries for a few months and those options were pretty stable, but now they aren't as busy as they were. I spend many hours each week waiting for deliveries, and sometimes they just dont come. I've resorted to just leaving bills unpaid or overdrafting my bank account to pay them. When I do that, my bank charges me $36 per day that I'm overdrafted. It's a killer. I had to borrow a large sum of money from one of my good friends yesterday, and it just barely covered the overdraft I had.. I will be able to pay him back, and he's allowing me to pay in payments. Im so thankful for him.

I start my new big-girl hospital job on Monday! I'm excited but nervous. I can't believe it's finally here and happening. I take my NCLEX on the 10th. I haven't been studying like I should because all of every day has been spent doing and waiting for deliveries. My goal for today is to answer 100 review questions, maybe more of I can but AT LEAST 100. I have the resources to do it and today I have the time, I just need to make myself. I'm doing that after I post this.

I'll get my first paycheck and a $6500 sign-on bonus check on the 22nd. I just hope I can hold out on money until then. My commute to work will be ~40 minutes each way, and that takes gas. 5 days a week throughout June. After that I may go down to 3 days a week but that's to be determined.

My mom and I have been bickering about money and bills for weeks. We don't live together and our bills are technically separate but we help each other. If I have money and she needs something paid or needs something, I help her, and vice versa. Sometimes one of us will spend money on something unnecessary and it causes a rift. Because money is so tight right now. I don't feel like I should have to explain where every cent of my money goes, but I understand why she gets frustrated. We are broke. I am so ready for us to not have to share money and bills and to be able to do as I wish with the money I make. That's where my frustration comes in also: most of the money we have to spend is mine. I work 3 jobs right now, soon to be 4. If I want to spend the money I work my ass off for, I can do that. I just have to face the consequences of it sometimes..

I'm still living with my aunt and uncle and since my income will be much higher here soon, the thought of getting my own place has crossed my mind. My mom would like for us to live together. I'm not convinced that's a good idea. I'd love to have my own space and there are things I dislike about living with family. My dad may also potentially be moving here before the year is up. He probably wouldn't have a job immediately so he would either have to stay with my mom (in her living room) or with me in my own place. My mom complains about him constantly when he stays at her apartment. If like to avoid that if possible. I also don't enjoy the thought of having to move houses in the summer, that just sounds terrible. Plus, it would give me a few months to save up for deposits and moving costs.. no plans are set in stone yet, but moving this year is a definite possibility.

I've been trying to get back in the mindset of getting healthy and losing weight. I've stopped drinking sodas again (4 days ago) and am consequently drinking more water. However, I started smoking cigarettes again about 1.5 months ago and haven't kicked the habit yet. I am determined to make this pack the last and wait before I start work on Monday... I think I can do it. I haven't been any more active. My scale still says 266, which is 1 pound less than my high weight. At least it's not more right? I just know I'm going to be miserable working as a nurse being this overweight and out of shape. Part of me wants to try keto again because I know it will make me lose weight fast. But I can never keep up with it, I always quit right after it starts working. I'm still trying to decide what I want to do.. trying to decide what I think I can stick with.

I need to call my storage place and pay for my unit. I need to call and pay a loan. I need to go tomorrow to buy scrubs for work. I need to go study. I think I'll end this post there. I'm sorry if you've read this far 😅 I didn't know where I was going with it lol. I feel like I have lots more to say but I'll continue later.

#personal #life #work #update

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tinyorangepotato · 1 year

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I'm constantly so needy and jealous and I'm glad I don't (at leats I think I dont) show it because god that would be annoying. this is the first time in actually a little while since I have been unable to sleep when I wnat to (usually around 12 or 1. it's now 2:30 and ive tried to sleep) and im awake and energetic while being sleepy and if someone walked up to me and said hey let's go take a walk and chat, I would be so down to join. I just wanna talk but the one person who I would enjoy talking to will probably be back awake in 2 hours and hopefully I'm not still awake by then because I got work in the morning and I alreayd suck at waking up and now I'm going to sleep even later than usual.

anyqyas back to the main topic, God I just want to cuddle or hang out and watch a show or just lay down and chat and hang out with someone and I should've been selfish earlier when he got us in a vc but wanted to go to sleep at 9 but I can't. there's no reason for me to insist on staying talking other than I wanted to and I know he would be sleepy so not talking as much and has ti wake up earlier than I do and do more intense work which he gets almsot no break from and so he needs his sleep but what about me (that's sarcasm(proabbyl the wrong word). I'm not that needy... maybe)

but like one of my friends will go to a Halloween party and have a fun time and run around and drink and shit meanwhile I fucking wish. God im just so envious of anything and everything always. I wish I wasn't always the driver but I'm the only one of my friend group that can drive and make plans. i wish I had other people I liked to hang out with because , again, I'm the planner of my group and I dotn host parties or whatever and I just wanna feel like the movies show. where you go to a party (it doesn't even have to be like a huge one like how 21 jumpstreet has it or whayever) and hang out with peope and do crazy ish things and drink and run and jump on a tire swing (that's what I'm friend did) and man. I just want ti have fun. other people do either with getting new things so starting a new hobby or getting into a new show and talking about it constantly or going out somewhere and not having to worry about everything.

I don't know where I'm going with this. but fuck I want things. I'm now putting aside all of ym paychecks except a full tank of gas (fill up when I get paid) and 50 dollars for getitng food when at work or any emergencies. I have been giving myself like 150 but I realized how much I owe while also still trying to save up for a place which I think jm the only of the two of us saving but that's okay because he makes more and will be paying for more things and he's already actually paying for his car insurance and all that while I'm not so I can afford to be broke when I get paid.

I owe like 5k still for my teeth (it's all just paying back care credit and I think I ahve 10 more motnhs to do it but im paying like 300 everyone month and I get only around 1k every month. so hopefully I'll be saving around 600 every month).looked at places and even the cheapest trailer was still a down payment of around 7k menawhike ive got not even 3 saved up and my dad still owes me that 1600 but he's been having a rough time even in his new better job so that's still gonna be a while.

and once we do get the place, I'll have to buy a mattress and dresser and all that shit becaus ei don't ahve fucking anything. hell I don't even have my own 4 walls to kepe anything at the moment. I got a second technically 3rd) job but that pays like shit. it was legit paying minimum wage so not even 9 dollars a d I've made 70 bucks the first pay period I've worked there (2 weeks) which is dogshit. for 8 fucking hours. at my first, better job, I would've made close to 120 with taxes removed. but I cant fucking get mor ehours there because of my fucjing aunt

I love her and I like to help out and she's the onyl reason I have a car and insurance (car insurance thay is) and have food every day but god damn. Sunday Tuesday and Friday I pick up carry out and then go to her place from like 11-3 (it's fairly random hut usually fits w8thin that time). so it's not like i can work more at job 1 seeing as they close at 6 and thay extra 2 and a half hours is not worth driving there and back. so I got another job but I've barely been scheduled and when I have it's been times I alreayd said I can not do. so I gotta pick up others shifts but my brain says "or you cna ignore the message and watch youtube" so that's usually what I do.

I wish I had a more simple schedule. even if I went to my aunts like 7-11 or at night it would work better but she's nto awake rhay early and she goes to lay down at around 6 so the time we have rn is the best time. but it fucks everything.

hell I would be more happy if I even just had a room to myself. that's all I want. please. even my friend who doesn't have a mattress to sleep on has a room and privacy and now 3 kittens constantly interacting with them and fuck. I qant soemthing for myself. I'm legit signing up for Doordash just so I can make a few extra bucks when I got ahit else to do.

I just want and need and fuck man im not gonan ever say it to anyone because I'm constantly like this and it's irrational and selfish so I'll keep it to myself to not harm anything. I'm a possessive and needy can't but no one will know because I push it down because it won't do any good to let it out.

(also really doesn't help rhat I am spending a few hundred on Christmas present for my friends but shhhh that's how I show love I guess so it's okay)

#tiny talking #tiny vent #... its now 2:50 #please. i want to sleep

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dykes-n-thoughts · 2 years

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OH SHIT I'M BACK MEGA POST

shit. I forgot to keep updating this. its so nice to keep a journal and I especially like this format. tumblr is permanent through its medium as a social media site. it means I never put it down, I never lose it, I never get bored of it, and its not really possible to get impulse wants to "buy a new one."

so yea, gonna update this more often now hopefully. and maybe it means I don't just unload shit on her that I could be doing there lmao

anyways, I'm 21 now haha. it feels good to finally be equal again amongst my peers. I hate that feeling with everything. but I'm feeling a lot better now. I have a lot of issues still lmao, and I'm working on fixing them, but lately I've been feeling a lot more clear headed. like I purged the depression from my system. I'm gonna do my best not to relapse again.

THAT. SHIT. SUCKS. just as a reminder to yourself, myself, its not easier, its just shutting down. it makes it harder to get started again. it's already so hard to get started. hating yourself is NOT a "productive use" of your energy. >:(

back at arbys. I think I was still at Petco when I last wrote. but I got fired lmao and it really fucked me up. WAILING type shit it was awful. but I knew Arbys would take me back, I had a turnaround of two days. I was so thankful I had it as a backup. I got to being a team trainer. there's whispers of them wanting me to be a manager. the only problem is that I've come in late nearly every day for a little over a year. the only reason I'm not fired is because there's no repercussions for anything anymore. Arbys is a shadow of what it used to be. Mr. Ripp actually had his own sense of direction, and gave a fuck about the company. shit broke and got fixed under him. since he passed his two sons took over.

Under them, it took over a year to get the lobby drink station's ice dispenser fixed. it took 4 months for someone to LOOK at our slicer and all it had was a frayed belt and a foot fell off. Our women's room has a faulty lightbulb socket and the toilet is super complicated to flush in the handicap stall and our district manager refuses to believe its broken. it took 3 months to fix our ice machine leaking because they said "its just condensation." it created a puddle in the floor that had to be wet-vacced up every. two. hours. even if if WERE condensation, THATS A PROBLEM! They. Didn't. Fix. Our. Fry. Reach-ins. For. 3. Weeks. idek how long we went with only 3 microwaves. since corporate updated our register system, our drivethru speaker box order screen doesn't do anything since they aren't compatible. and to top it all off our drive thru window doesn't work. pair all of that with usual day to day stress like working with people who literally have never had a job before and feel no commitment to it because, well, its just a shitty fast food job. there's hundreds like it. and this ones kinda hard, all things considered. kinda sucks. the only reason anyone stays is for the team itself.

D is joining Arbys! I'm so excited to have him on board, even if it is only for part-time. he also had another seasonal gig going on, so its all cool obviously. even if he didn't as long as he somehow made rent it'd be cool, but I digress

I actually fell asleep writing this post so I'm just gonna send it, and lol I've got to rework my pinned post

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crazycartoonnerd123 · 2 years

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AMPHIBIA SEASON 3A REWATCH NOTES: THE NEW NORMAL:

1. The part where Anne is talking about Marcy, saying that she's alive, that she has to be, continues to crush my soul and break my heart. I'm pretty sure that this us the first time that I've rewatched this episode since "Olivia and Yunan" came out, so now my heart is breaking even more. Also this is the first time that we see that Anne is kinda in denial over what happened to Marcy.

2. Anne's reunion with her parents will always be a scene that makes me tear up in a good way. It's just so wholesome.

3. Also the fact that Anne's dad says "your safe" kinda broke me a little bit this time around because the Boonchuy's daughter was missing for like 5 months and they didn't even know I'd she was alive or safe.

4. Also, I know Anne's parents probably know about Andrias and Anne's powers, but I don't think they know about everything that happened with Marcy and Sasha.

5. Also this episode takes place right after "True Colors", meaning that she JUST saw her best friend for years get stabbed in the chest. The pain from the betrayals she had are also very fresh as well. This might explain why she was starting at the picture of her friend the entire way there.

6. I can't wait until Frobo is 100% fixed. I miss Frobo

7. I love that the Boonchuy's were hesitant to let the Planter's stay with them but they grew to love the Planter's and they essentially became part of the family

8. The scene in Amphibia makes me so much more angry now because of what happened in "Olivia and Yunan"

9. I also really love the way Andrias is written. He can be super funny at time, but he's such a well written villan that he makes my blood boil when he's up to no good

10. This episode does a very good job of demonstrating Anne's growth in Amphibia

11. I am still worried that Anne described her powers as feeling bad, and I'm worried about the affects they will have on her, especially physically.

12. This episode also sets the narrative on how much Anne has on her plate, and how she's coping with it in a very unhealthy way

Overall, I liked this episode just as much as I did the first time I watched, maybe even more.The writing in this episode was really strong. I'm gonna give this episode a solid 9/10.

#Amphibia #amphibia s3 #amphibia spoilers #Amphibia season 3A #Anne Boonchuy #Marcy Wu #Sasha Waybright

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Black Magic" *Part 4*

Whoooooo! Okay alright here's 4, I don't know if I can get 5 up tonight but at least you'll have the whole "day". [you'll see]

YA'LL enjoy this because....it's gonna come crashing down. I'm so sorry. Maybe I should leave it here tonight. Yeah I might.

Also-- WINK! When you see it you'll know. 😉

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

Part 3

Part 5

-----------------------------

“Well!” he wiped tears away from his face and then yours before he gathered up your trash and threw it away. “ I think that's quite enough of the melodramatic stories today. Now it's time to show you my favorite place,”

He took your hands and let you further deeper into the park. You had never been this deep into Central Park before you don't think you'd ever actually been in Central Park, you've just passed it. You were kind of a shit New Yorker.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he pulled you faster down some steps until you reached what you could only describe as a “Cave”.

“You'll see,” he smiled as you approached the cave. You both walked inside and before you was something you never thought you'd see.

“Oh my god…” You said breathlessly. Are those…?”

“Penguins” You heard a smile in his voice as you stared. In front of you with a long glass tank encased in the stone. It was full of happy, smiling, swimming, penguins.

“How... why….why is this here?”

“Well the zoo is right next door.” He explained. “And they accidentally made the penguin exhibit about a foot outside of the zoo's zoning area. So, while it is technically part of the Central Park Zoo, this one area is completely free to the public. It beats paying $50.” He laughed.

“Penguins are my favorite,” you said softly as you just continued to stare at them. It was true. You loved penguins since you were a little girl and you had no idea why. They were just so cute.

“Mine too,” he smiled, taking his arms and pulling you into his chest from behind. They look so happy. And they're in little tuxedos. Which I highly approve of,” He joked. You giggled in response.

“I like to come here when I've had a really long day or a really bad day in court.” He continued to explain. “And just sit here and watch them; and imagine how much more enjoyable life would be as a penguin. Look at them they're so happy and carefree, not a worry in the world.”

“God wouldn’t that be nice,” You sighed. “No rent, no bills, no annoying job.” you have laughed, giving him a nudge

“And.. They are also monogamous,” He stopped laughing and turned you to face him.

“What?” You stopped laughing as well, giving him a stunned expression.

“Did you know that when a male penguin fancies a girl penguin he will look everywhere until he finds the perfect rock or pebble as an offering to said female. And if she accepts it, then they're together until they die.”

“So.. basically like an engagement ring,” You whispered. Oh god.. what was happening?

“Yeah I guess so they get engaged and married. Without the wedding of course.” He nodded.

“Can you imagine that? I mean they’d be pretty prepared already in their little tuxedos” you laughed, hopefully trying to change the subject getting away from marriage although you didn't really know how. “Rafael…”

Okay surely even if he was under this spell, was there kind of some kind of backstory? Did he think you had been together for a very long time? There's no way he was going to propose after one day was he?

“Don't worry carino, I'm not proposing. He laughed, noticing the panic in your eyes. "I'm not that crazy.”

“Right you laughed and nodded your head. “Of course. Because we've only known each other so shortly….?” You tried to ask in a leading way.

“Right. But if we're being totally honest,” he took your hands. “I think I fell in love with you the moment you walked in the door on your first day.”

You silently gasped.. Could that be true? Was that him making that up in his head? Did he have memories before today? Did he have real memories before today? How far did this thing go? Could he actually really be saying that? Your mind started swimming.

“I..” You looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity. Obviously it was there but you didn't know if it was fabricated or real. But any real form of sincerity was moot at this point. Right?

“Really?” Was all you could say back.

“Yeah,” he smiled while he stroked your hair. “Really,”

That was it you couldn't take this anymore. You Broke down crying once again, and threw your arms around him. You were holding him so tightly, as if he was going to disappear in front of your eyes any second.

“Please Don't leave me, you sobbed. “Please don't leave me,”

“Hey hey hey,” He took your arms and pulled you over to a bench in the cave. Then he sat you down and put both hands on your shoulders.” I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Never,”

“You can't say that,” You sobbed. You completely threw any thoughts of keeping this under wraps out the window.

"Why not?” He looked at you quizzically.

“Because….because this isn't real!!” You kept sobbing.

“What…? Baby you have to calm down,” He started getting really concerned.

“I….” You tried to find the words to explain it without sounding crazy. Then you realized it didn't matter.

“I...my roommate Chloe she's a...well she, she made this...stuff, that I put in your coffee yesterday and it made you think you're in love with me.” You realized you had said explanation a little too loudly, as the very few other people that were in the cave with you gave you strange looks and started to walk away. You looked at Rafael who was just staring at you in disbelief and confusion.

“What are you talking about?” He half laughed. Baby look I don't know what you think you did. But if you're talking about what I think you're talking about--- magic isn't real.”

“Yes it is!” You continued to sob. “I didn't believe it either. That's why I did it. I thought on the off chance maybe it would work but I didn't really think it worked like this” you gestured between the two of you.

“What, make an actual connection between us? Has anything you said to me today been a lie?”

“No” You started to calm yourself down.

“And I can promise you nothing I have done today has been a lie, or fabricated in any way,” He wiped the tears from your face.

“So again, I don't know what you think you did, but my feelings for you are real. The only magic here is the magic of true love,”

“See who says that?!” you cried angrily. “Nobody says that for real, Rafael. Not unless they're--”

“Under some kind of magic spell?” Rafael asked sarcastically

“This isn't funny!”

“Okay so what you're just saying is that tomorrow I'm going to wake up, and just think you're a normal girl and what? Think today was a fluke?”

“No.. you're not going to remember anything.”

“I really doubt that,”

“It's true! Why do you think I said back at Maria’s that I need you to hold on to this day? I need you to remember this day? I wasn’t just saying that to be cute.”

“Okay well I'm taking you seriously now. I'm committing this day to my memory this entire day even with your nutty little break down here.” He took both of your shoulders and looked at you seriously.

“Because I'm going to prove to you that this is not some kind of magic spell. It's me and you and our real feelings. I told you I fell in love with you the day I met you, that was before today. That was three months ago!”

Could that be true? Could this have just fast forwarded the time that it would have taken you to get here? Is he really going to remember this?

“Okay” was all you could say.

“Okay.” He smiled, pulling you into him again and kissing your forehead while stroking your hair. “I'm never going to forget you Y/N. I could never forget you,”

“Okay,” you repeated, believing him a little more this time.

Rafael glanced at his phone. Oh God it's four fifteen already,”

“So…? Do you turn into a pumpkin at 5?” You joked.

“No but I did promise Olivia that I would drop off some paperwork. Do you mind?”

Oh God you really don't want to face Liv again, at the risk of exposing your secret. But what else could you do?

“Yeah I guess that's fine.” You shrugged.

It definitely was NOT fine.

-----

You walked into the NYPD police station nervously, as if you were a hooker doing a perp walk. You hoped that maybe since Raphael had calmed down maybe Olivia would just think this morning was a joke after all. You hoped he wouldn't say anything.

“Olivia!” He walked over to her desk and still had your hand in his.

“Hey Rafa.. what is this? I thought you weren't dating your intern?” She frowned.

“Oh I'm not ... Apparently I'm under her spell,” He laughed.

Oh my God oh my God oh my God what…. Why was he being so flippant about this? Oh God.

“...Excuse me?” She asked him seriously.

“Did you get her in on this Y/N? Pretend that she has no idea about us?” He asked you while still laughing. You wanted to crawl into a hole.

“I don't have any idea about-- didn't you say this morning that you were kidding?” Olivia looked at you angrily.

“What? I don't remember this morning.” Rafael looked confused.

Oh God maybe it was starting to wear off and then forget-me-nots were working oh God oh God oh god….

“What is wrong with you?” Olivia put both of her hands on her shoulders, then she looked at you. “Did you actually do something to him?

What? No, I didn't do anything!” You cried defensively, hoping she would back off.

“Liv back off she didn't do anything. Magic isn't real. What is wrong with you?” Rafael stood in front of you.

“Then explain how you feel right now???” Olivia crossed her arms.

“What are you talking about? We've been in love for months now!”

Oh shit. Oh GOD.WHAT?

“WHAT?” Olivia almost screamed.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to overeat like this." He gave her a look.

“Oh that is bullshit.” She spat, and then looked at you over his shoulder. “You did something to him and I will damn sure figure out what it is,”

“Liv you need to seriously back off,” Rafael increased the space between the two of you.

Liv nodded, but mouthed to you over his head with a whisper. “I am going to figure out what you did and you're going to pay.”

You gulped and looked at Rafael who was still glaring at Liv. “Look Olivia, you need to get over whatever thing you have for me and just let me be happy.”

That was it! That was why she was so upset about this. She was in love with him too. Oh God. You suddenly wondered how accessible that spell that Chloe did was.

“I.. you.. we…” She stammered. “Here's your warrant,” Rafael tossed some papers at her and walked out the door with your hand in his. You looked back at Liv who was still fuming. That can't be good.

----

“Can you believe the nerve of her?” He scoffed as you walked out.

“Yeah totally,” You laughed nervously.

“I'm sorry about her. She doesn't know when to stop beating a dead horse,” He sighed.

“So you know she's had a thing for you? And you've never had a thing for her?”

“I mean there was a time when we first met that I thought maybe something could happen. But too much time has passed and I don't feel that way about her anymore, but apparently she still does.” He shook his head.

“And besides whatever feelings I thought I had for her went out the window the moment I saw

you,” he smiled, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Oh I mean since this morning,” he teased. But you knew he was right on the money.

“Haha. Can we please not joke about it?” You asked dejectedly.

“I'm sorry carino. Let's go get some dinner huh? Forget about this?”

“Yes please” You smiled.

---

He took you to his favorite restaurant Forlini’s and you two had an amazing dinner laughing, talking and discussing Broadway shows.

"Wait so you saw RENT with the ORIGINAL cast?!"

"Yeah…." He lightly chuckled. "I know, I'm super old."

"Oh I wasn't going to say that at all. I was going to say you are so lucky!!!!” You squealed.

“So you've never seen a show on Broadway?” He asked.

“Well...when I first met Chloe she was working as a PA for one of the directors of a show that had just gone to Broadway. It didn't last very long; it wasn't that great of a show. Except for the leading actor in my opinion,”

“Oh really?” he looked at you curiously. “What show?”

“It was called “Leap Of Faith”, I think? It was based on some movie about some televangelist creep con man, who fell in love with the sheriff and his heart turned to gold or some lame-ass thing like that. You rolled your eyes

“Oh really was it that bad?” he laughed.

“I mean, the songs were good and like I said the leading man Raul Esparza was amazing,” You smiled as you sipped your wine.

“Raul Esparza? You know when I was younger, people used to say that I looked like him.” He chuckled as he sipped his scotch.

“Really?? Nah I don't see it. You're way more handsome,” you smiled.

You continued to have a fabulous dinner so fun and easy, you almost forgot it was all fantasy. Before you knew it, Rafael was walking you to your door.

"Well I had a fabulous 'last’ 24 hours with you mi amor,” Rafael smiled.

“Yeah.. me too,” you said sadly.

“You sure you don't want me to come in?” He asked you with mischievous eyes.

“No, you better not.” You wanted so badly to let him, but you didn't want tomorrow to be jarring for him.

"Oh right I might wake up tomorrow and forget where I am," he teased, tickling you. You laughed while he was doing it, but the pain of really knowing he was right knocked you right back to sadness.

"Well good night beautiful. I'll see you tomorrow" He grinned.

"Yeah…." You smiled sadly thinking "not like this,”

He kissed you gently, but you pulled him in for a deep long passionate kiss, desperately memorizing every detail. His tongue, his mouth, his hands, his smell, his skin on yours.

"Wow, I should be under spells more often he chuckled. He gave you one last small kiss, and you held onto his hands.

"....Baby I'll stay if you want me to, you don't have to be so sad," He stroked your hair and gave you a reassuring smile.

"No…" you shook your head silently chastising yourself. "Let him go," you said mentally.

"No it's ok I'll see you tomorrow" you have him the bravest smile you could.

"Ok. Maybe tomorrow when you see you were being silly I'll sleep over," he winked, walking down the hall.

You slowly shut the door and fell down the floor sobbing.

Chloe came running out of her bedroom to check on you.

"Aw honey…."

"I love him Chloe,” you sobbed. “I didn't know how much or even if I really did before today but I really love him.”

“Oh honey. I can make more right now, even a bigger batch so it'll last longer!” She offered.

NO you shook your head sternly. "That's not fair to him"

"Well….it might be,” She gave you a hopeful look.

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on,” She picked you up and dragged you to her room.

She sat you on her bed as she went and pulled an ancient looking book from her shelf. You read the cover: “The Grimoire.”

“I borrowed it from my friend Maggie,” She explained. “Basically it's a master list of spells,”

“And she just let you borrow this?” You gave her a suspicious look.

“I told her it was an emergency.”

“Really?”

“Well! It was. Of the heart. She gets it she’s an empath and a romantic,” She assured you. “Anyway!” She turned to a dog eared page.

“Read” it she instructed.

You read the page: “ ‘Emotion Magnifier’....what is this?”

“It's the spell I used on Rafael.” She smiled.

“...What?”

“It wasn't really a love spell per say,”. She explained. “Those are frowned upon in the witch community. Y'know free will and all,”

“Wait so this didn't mess with his free will?”

“No ma'am! It just magnifies whatever somebody already feels. You just have to zone in on what emotion you want to draw out. So I used amorous feelings on Rafael,”

“So...that means...what exactly…?” You wanted to make sure you understood what she was saying.

“Well since he went so insane this morning, it magnified some already pretty strong feelings for you.” She smiled

“WHAT?!”

Your mind was spinning. Had he really been telling the truth about falling in love with you the moment he saw you? Has this actually just sped up the process of your relationship? Why hasn't he ever said anything? You've never really talked. How was this possible?

"So...what you're saying is…"

"He was clearly already smitten with you darling," She grinned even bigger at you.

"Oh my god….oh my god!!!!" You squealed. Maybe...maybe those feelings would be stronger than any potion, maybe he would remember today.

You went to bed that night with a hopeful heart.

-----

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction

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dnarez · 3 years

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Chapter 7 - Autumn Coat

It's been a few months since you started to work as a caretaker, nothing grand happened, but the times you left for your break once every 14 days, you always come back to a crying Keigo, and a missing mother.

The last time he wrecked the house, there was glass on the floor, footprints on the ceiling, walls painted with... wine? jelly? blood? You don't know, but it was hell to clean, which of course you made lil birb help too.

By questioning him after cleaning everything and then cleaning him, you discovered that his "mother" gave him coffee, and A LOT of it, and went her merry way to meet with someone.

---

To say that you were pissed was a mistake, you were furious, but the commission didn't let you reprehend her, so you had to teach him to not eat and drink something that his mother gave to him, without knowing what it was, and that if he drank coffee he would stop growing, which made him cry, but you promised a day outside with him, where they would eat out, maybe go to a mall, and he could have anything that he wanted.

It was his first time going out to have fun, instead of just going to the gym, or the doctor appointment, so with the 'okay card' from your boss you took him for a stroll, which is why there is a very excited Keigo jumping on your bed at 6am.

"COME. OOOOON!!! WE STILL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY AHEAD OF US!" he shouted while jumping up and down on your bed, his wings flapping behind him.

"Hun, what time it is?" you yawned and sat on the bed.

"It's 6AM! On a Monday!!!"

"I wish you would be this easy to wake up every day, it would make my mornings easier" you huff and got up. "Go wash your face, I will get changed and come to help you change yourself."

"I don't need help! I'm a big boy! I can change myself!" he pouted and crossed his arms.

You smiled at him, seeing how much he opened up to you in comparison to the first day, when he would tremble form how scared he was, and how he talked so little. "I know you can, but you need to put warmer clothes than normal, and it would be better if you didn't pick that awful t-shirt again"

"The one that his written 'Daddy's little boy' with the Endevour's face?" he tilted his head a little.

"Exactly, that one! Now go, we will eat breakfast outside today."

"Woo-hoo!" he raised both hands and was about to jump down to the floor when you held him back and fills his face with kisses "Let me go mommy!" he giggles a lot, and you keep doing it until you decide to release him.

"THE FLOOR IS LAVA!!" You shout and jumps up "If you aren't on your bedroom in 15 seconds the world is going to END!" You say dramatically and open's the door to the laundry room "1... 2... 3... aaaaaand... he's gone" as soon as you opened the door and started the countdown he flew off your small home to his room.

After fixing your bed and washing your face, you went to get changed and choose something comfy, some black jeans, a long sleeved red shirt, a black purse and your favorite beige coat that had white fur on it.

You went to his room to get him ready when you were surprised by the scene, him, Keigo, your baby birb, the cute little shit that was getting more confident with each training, that had the most beautiful smile you had ever seen.

On the floor, curled up in a ball, with a few drops of blood on the ground of the floor, and his mother with her hand in the air, like she was about to hit him...

The world was turning slowly, almost stopping, after three movements of your finger, the one that the nail was always painted black, the dame that had cut the wall.

As the world was moving slowly, you were moving like normal.

5... you calmly walked to Keigo

4... you took him on your arms

3... you put him on the bed

2... you took the pillow case from the pillow

1... you tied both of the hands of Keigo's mother.

The world was back to normal, and Keigo blinked looking at what was now his mother on the ground and you on top of her mobilizing her, while he was no longer on the floor, but on his new fluffy bed that you picked for him "so quick..." he mumbles and look at you with admiration.

You took your phone from your purse, and sat on top of her back "Hello? You saw from the cameras, didn't you? Yeah... I think she needs a few days of vacation... about a week? Okay I let her on the couch then? Thank you, good bye" you turn off the cellphone and look at Keigo who was mouth agape looking at you with shiny eyes. "Let's go?" You smile and pick him up.

"YOU WERE SO AWESOME!!! And didn't you told me to change my clothes?" He hugged your neck

"We can just buy it on the mall but... outside is really cold..." you put him back on the bed and took off your coat "here, I'll lend you my favorite coat, please take good care of it"

He sniffs the coat and is meet by the soft smell of lavender and sweetened coffee.

He looks at you with shiny eyes, "okay!"

You pick him up again and hold his mother's ankle while you drag her to the living room. "Tomorrow is your trainer's day off, so today you can sleep later"

"Woo-hoo!!"

You chuckle and let the woman on the couch, then you go out with him.

"Let's have breakfast and then go out and about"

You carried him to the car, and there you put him on the backseat and when you were going to buckle him up he stopped you.

"Let me do it! I'm a big boy" you nod and watch as he struggles, but after some time does it.

"Good job" you kiss his forehead and goes to the front seat.

As you drive around you put some kids pop, which he sang along to the Disney songs from the movies you showed him.

As you stop at a café that you liked, "Let's go?" He unbuckles himself, and you open the door to him, picking him up again

"I can walk!"

"Not with that bare feet of yours" you tickle his feet which makes him squirm and giggle.

Walking in you take a sit and sat Keigo beside you. "You can get anything, ask away" you took the menu and give it to him "since you learn how to read better I'm sure you can pick what you want"

"Okay!..." he spends 20 minutes choosing his food, which ended up being a chicken breast sandwich and a soda, you immediately told him no soda in the morning.

"How about some juice?" You offer

"What are you going to drink?" Keigo tilts his head to the side.

"I want to go out and by sweetened coffee from the vending machine, it's my favorite, and no you can't have some"

He giggles and nods "I want strawberry juice!"

"I'm gonna go order it to the cashier, two chicken sandwiches and a strawberry juice"

"Can I pick a dessert?"

"After you eat everything, sure, here play a game on my phone while you wait, I'll be right back" you give him your phone unlocked and go to the cashier.

Keigo is playing on your cellphone when someone approaches him, his little trained feathers don't recognize this person's vibrations, so he looks up and sees a dude with a scary look and long black hair.

They both just stare at each other "sup" Keigo say and discreetly send a feather to you and taps your feet.

You come back to the table and is surprised to see your oldest friend, you give him a big smile "Shouta-niisan!" You hug him, but he only pats your head.

Keigo looks surprised at the interaction, you don't talk about yourself, only the basic and vaguely gives information about what you did before him.

"Is this your kid?" The man looked at Keigo, the man looked like it was around 23 maybe 25.

"Yeah! I'm his-... mom, yeah! I'm his mother" you smile breaking the hug and sat down "too busy to stay?"

He nods and put a can of your favorite sweetened coffee in front of you "You're doing a good job, just be careful, you never know"

You nod back at him and give him a big smile "I will, at least I'm no longer doing patrols, don't forget to call me once a week"

"I never broke a promise, won't start now" he pets your hair and goes away.

Keigo watched the weird transactions extremely curious "Who was him? Is him your older brother? You don't look alike. Why didn't you say goodbye to him? Why does he look like a bun? Why-"

"Enough!" You put your hand on his mouth "He's an old friend, I call him nii-san because I always called him that, no we aren't blood related, he always looked like that, and... we promise to never say goodbye to each other"

"Why?"

"Because a goodbye can be forever, so we just don't say it" a waitress comes to you both and puts everything on the table.

You open the canned coffee and drink it, smiling at him as he eats, you both eat and then went shopping.

...

Keigo could fit in anything, and he would look cute you just loved the way he looked on yellow or beige, they fit well with his red wings.

"Hey mom... I wanted to know if-..." he was scared, uncomfortable maybe? About something.

"You can ask me anything Birb, there is no way that I will not answer" you kneeled on the floor besides him and looked at him through the mirror.

"What's your quirk?" He looked at you while fiddling with his hands.

You smiled at him "It's kinda hard to explain, It's better if I show it to you" you took his hand and paid for the clothing, now that he was with some clothes that were good for the Autumn cold weather.

After getting to the car you drove off to the training gym.

"Why are we here?" Keigo recognized the building quickly.

"My power can be a little destructive, its1better to do this in a place that no one can get hurt" going in you went to your private training room with the little boy following you like a baby duck.

"How destructive?" Keigo held your hand and you held his.

"Very, now stay back" you pressed a bottom on the wall "My quirk needs ink all the time to do anything, and I always have it around me, most likely on my point finger, here I can do almost anything" you made a straight line in the direction of the dummies and cut 3 at the same time, cutting through them.

"Woaaah! What else?" Keigo's wings fluffed up at your awesomeness.

You walk to the middle and make a dot next to him, a huge tree appears from nothing surprising him, he falls to the floor shocked.

"I can also make a path of flowers, and the tree will only stay there for a few seconds, but it can surprise the enemy enough to take them down" you move your finger around under Keigo's feet and there grows some flowers.

"My ability is called Celestial Brush"

"THIS IS SO COOL!" He runs to you, and you pick him up when he's close enough. "MOM YOU ARE AWESOME!"

You look at him surprised and hug him tightly "My son, you are awesome too"

You two stay like that for some time, until he bugs you to show more of your ability, which you do, you show him each trick and technique you learned until now.

https://youtu.be/BRcfqu3hQkY (your quirk)

(Yes this is your quirk, and everything you can do with it)

After showing him everything you picked him up and you both go back home to take a shower, eat and sleep.

Those moments in his life were the happiest that Keigo had ever been, always protected by you, he was given the love and affection that he always wanted, he didn't care for everything else, he just cared about you, because you were his true mother, the woman that he would run to when he got himself hurt, to ask about life, to ask about anything really, since you also were his teacher. When he had nightmares you would hold him until he calmed down, would kiss his head, would compliment the small things he had done, and would scout him when he did something wrong.

Keigo loved you more than anything in his life, and Hawks miss you dearly in his, because in the end, you still worked for the commission, and he too didn't have a choice when you went away for an important mission.

The day before your departure you both made a pillow nest in the living room, you induced him on his bird instincts, HD wouldn't have such luxury after you went away.

Neither of you talked about you leaving, instead you showed him your favorite movies, snacks and old latin folktales, the feeling of sadness was there the whole moment.

You tried to give as much advice you could, and only took him off your arms to use the bathroom.

Keigo also didn't wanted to let go of you, both sleep hugging each other, you promised that you would come back as soon as you could, that tou would ever forgive him if he died while being a hero, that you knew he was build for greatness.

Only when you had to leave that you allowed yourself to cry, at the door with only a backpack in hands, you put your coat on Keigo while he sleep, also letting your diary on his bed, to let him have you all the time.

After tucking him on his nest, you kissed his forehead and kisses his toy's head, going out of that house took a lot of strength, you didn't wanted to go, but duty called, you just hopped it would take less then a year.

. . . . .

But it didn't took a year, it took 18 years to take the ring leader down, and just now you were finally going back to Japan, and to the now number 2 pro hero Hawks.

.............. As you can see there is more to this book

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ewwhothefuckiski · 3 years

Text

You Said Forever- Joshua Bassett

Joshua Bassett × fem!reader

Requested: no, I was trying to sleep and suddenly had this idea so here we are.

TW: Swearing, angst, emotional trauma, mentions of death

Taglist: @tclklater @spicygemini17 @bonobos-candy-bar @kaylinfayezink @jxznotfound {lmk if ya want to be added!!}

A/N: I apologise in advance 🤧 you can thank @hermes-creature and @nickalicious for fueling this fire. And yes this was heavily inspired on his new ep and Olivia's Driver's License. No not for the drama

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Love is hard. It can be wonderful, breathtaking. But it can also be painful, soul crushing even. When you fall in love, you give someone your all, you hand over your heart and pray that they don't break it.

But they will- It's inevitable.

Or at least, that's what Y/N told herself as she sat alone in what used to be her and Joshua's bedroom, holding their promise rings and letting out heart wrenching sobs.

She looked around, every picture of her and Josh like a new slap in the face. She looked back down at the rings, screaming as she threw them at the mirror resting on their dresser, shattering the glass.

Her hands tangled into the roots of her hair, tugging as she hugged her knees into her chest, rocking back and forth letting the sobs rock her body.

She didn't think Josh would leave her, he had been by her side since they were 16. But he did. They screamed at each other until they were red in the face; him eventually giving up and packing his bag.

Y/N screamed at him more, this time with tears streaming down her face.

"Why are you doing this?" She cried, grabbing his arm and turning him to face her. "You are the one who's in the wrong here, and you just decide to leave?"

Joshua felt his heart break as he stared at the girl. She was broken, hurting- and it was his fault.

But then he thought back to her words from earlier, anger flaring in his chest again.

"I'm in the wrong here? Y/N, you blamed me for cheating on you because of your insecurities. You scream at me after I come home from filming, because you're jealous. I told you nothing was going on with Olivia. But you can't get it through your damn head. You made me choose between you and my job. So I did, and I choose my job. Don't try and put this on me."

"I thought you loved me." She sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself; an attempt to keep herself from falling apart.

Joshua sighed as he zipped his bag shut, turning to face her.

"God Y/N. I do love you, I love you so much- and I always will. But we can't do this anymore. We aren't good for each other."

"You promised me forever." She whispered, staring down at the ring sitting on his finger. He followed her gaze, his heart breaking as he realized what she had been looking at. He slipped the ring off of his finger, gently placing it in her hand, before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He grabbed his bag and walked to the door, turning to look at the girl who stole his heart all those years ago one last time.

"Goodbye Y/N." He whispered, turning on his heel and shutting the door behind him before she could see the tears running down his face. He stood there for a minute, hearing her sobs through the door, before flinching as he heard glass shattering as she screamed. He sighed and continued his journey to his car, before he finally pulled out of the driveway and left the love of his life behind him.

×××

Joshua shouldn't have had the time to feel the deep ache in his chest with each waking minute that passed without Y/N by his side- HSMTMTS had hit it off and soon his career was launched into full swing. His fans demanding an EP, him booking auditions, all while doing interviews back to back about the "love triangle" between him, Olivia, and Sabrina- but he did.

The fans had all assumed that Josh's sudden change in behavior was because he and Olivia called things off, but in reality, he just hadn't been himself since he left Y/N.

Everyone but him had saw it. So Olivia and Sabrina had been spending a lot of time with him, trying to cheer him up. But the fans read to much into it.

Josh knew Y/N was seeing the articles, he knew she definitely didn't believe him now. All he wanted was to take back the day he walked out on her. But he couldn't, it was too late. She was better off without him now.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Little did he know, Y/N had fallen into the darkest state of depression after he left. She didn't leave her bed unless she had to. She cried, a lot. She didn't have the motivation to get up in the morning, to do the basic things such as take a shower, brush her teeth.

What was the point?

Her friends tried calling her, coming over to help her get out and do something, but she had lost any part of her soul she had left.

When Joshua left her, he took her heart with him. She gave him everything, just to feel like nothing in the end. She loved him with every fiber in her body, and that was the hardest thing for her.

Before she met Joshua, she had been left time and time again. First by her parents, and then eventually anyone she's ever came to care about. She shut everyone out after that, afraid to get attached again.

And then there he was. The brown eyed messy haired boy in the back of the coffee shop.

He looked terrified. His hands were shaking, his face pale, breaths coming up short. She knew that look all too well.

"Hey! Hey look at me."

He snapped his head up to look at the young girl, his brown eyes wide as she talked to him.

"Breathe with me ok? In through the nose for five seconds, out for ten."

She demonstrated what she meant, smiling when the boy started to copy her actions.

"Good, just like that. Again."

She took his shaking hands into hers, interlacing their fingers as they breathed together.

She didn't try and tell him he was gonna be ok, or to breathe because he's fine. She knew when you were having a panic attack, your body looses control of itself. She knew the best thing you could do is to just focus on your breathing until you gained control again.

After a while, Josh finally gained control of himself again. He looked down at their interlocked hands, blushing, but not pulling away.

"How did you-"

"You were having a panic attack. I have them all the time."

Joshua nodded, glancing from their hands back to the beautiful girl in front of him.

"I felt like I was going to die." He whispered, looking down in embarresment.

"I know."

He looked up at her, shocked.

"W-What?"

"Your whole body tingles, you can't slow your breathing, your heart beating so loud you swear your ears are gonna explode." She listed, smiling at him sadly, her heart aching for the boy. "It's like you can't control your own body."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, Yeah that's exactly what it felt like."

Y/N smiled softly, her thumb rubbing the back of his hand.

"How about some coffee, on me?"

Josh grinned at the girl in front of him. "That'd be great!"

After that, they had been inseparable.

Until now.

Now they were in separate places, trying to forget every painful memory they made together in the last 4 years.

Eventually, Y/N's friends got her out of bed, convinced her to come to the park with them. She reluctantly agreed, but only on the condition that she could drive herself- that way if needed she could leave whenever she wanted.

So she got up, took a shower, brushed her teeth, and put on the best clothes she could manage without breaking down because it brought her a memory of Josh- which was harder than you would think.

She made a mental note to go clothes shopping later.

She sighed as she sat in her car, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before starting the engine and pulling out of her driveway.

When she pulled into the park, it was deserted, and she sighed in relief. Her best friends sent a text saying they were on their way, so Y/N exited her car and sat on the park bench, waiting for them to show up.

Josh was exhilarated. He had just finished his first concert, and the feeling of the fans cheering as he sang was still alive and electric in his bones. His adrenaline was running so high he couldn't sit still.

So he decided to take a walk.

He wanted to go to the park, it was his comfort these last couple of months. It was a place where he could breathe, where he could be alone with his thoughts.

He usually thought about Y/N.

But today was different, he finally felt alive again. He was walking around the park, humming his songs to himself as he took in the stillness of this afternoon. If it hadn't been for the adrenaline coursing through his veins, he would have found it eerie.

But he didn't. So he kept walking and singing, relishing in the feeling of the wind running through his hair.

Until he heard an all too familiar voice.

She was singing- singing in a way that sounded sad, like every word she uttered was forced- but it was beautiful. He knew that voice the second he heard it, but he just couldn't believe it.

He rushed to hide behind a tree, peaking his head out to glimpse at the singing girl. He couldn't believe his eyes, there Y/N was, right in front of him, looking just as beautiful as the day he left her.

But she was different, he could see it in the way she slouched as she sat on the bench, slowly swinging her legs back and forth while singing to herself softly. She was hurting, and he knew it was because of him.

"Y/N-"

He meant to say it in his head, but her name had slipped past his lips, and her head whipped around, her eyes catching his. She gasped in shock, tears welling in her eyes as she looked at the boy who stole her heart away standing in front of her after spending so much time apart.

She stood up quickly, wiping her eyes and running in the opposite direction towards her car, she needed to get out of there before she broke even more. She knew it was a mistake coming here, she should've listened to herself.

"Y/N wait-" he called out, reaching out to stop her. But it was too late, she was already long gone and pulling out of her parking spot, tears clouding her vision. Joshua ran out from behind the tree, running up to her car, before he stopped dead in his tracks, watching the scene unfold in front of him.

Y/N had been speeding out of the parking lot and onto the street, not bothering to look before she slammed on the gas and pulling onto the street, before she saw a speeding car coming at her from the side, ramming into her before everything went black.

She finally found peace.

And Josh had just lost it.

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