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missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway · 21 hours

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You'll Find Me Resting Among The Restless... (Sinners Prayer)

Mafia!Stucky x POC Escort!Reader “Sin”

Wordcount: 5325

Summary:

Not all girls are made of sugar spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of art, lust and misplaced trust. The most loving thing you can do for a man, is to teach him to swallow his own poison.

Warnings:

Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Betrayal, Infidelity, Past Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate universe - Mafia, Texting, Punishment, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Sex, Tease, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Female Character of Color

Notes:

This story just attacked me and would not let up until I got it out of my system. It's angsty but with a happy/hopeful ending because I'm a sucker for a resolution. Italics are thoughts Photos used do not represent any particular reader features, they are used for reference only. Happy Reading!

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

They messed up badly this time. Not only had they fallen for you. They didn't realize it until you were gone. Throwing every “gift” back in their faces and moving out of the penthouse they liked to keep you in. You also went back to some of your old clients. One of which was a particular couple that they were very close to, in business and personally.

All because Steve let his bitch of an ex Sharon get under his skin and in a lapse of judgement and a whole lot of whiskey he not only fucked her but let you find them together on the couch naked and passed out the morning after. He had the nerve to get pissy with you for just showing up at their place. When he was the one that set up the breakfast date the week prior.

Asshole.

Poor Bucky, he didn't even do anything and yet because he and his boyfriend are a package deal he got left as well.

You told him you’d never get between them. That you wouldn't hurt either of them by picking one over the other. If things came to that, you’d just leave them both. They weren’t the only ones who went and fell in love. With tears filling your eyes, begging to be set free, you turned towards the Steel Gray eyes full anguish beside you.

“I can handle a broken heart Buck. It’s not the first time someone thought that because of my profession and being non monogamous that you can't ACTUALLY cheat on me. I’m going to miss you something fierce though.” You step closer for just a moment and caress his cheek.

“I wish it wasn't this way, but it is what it is. I can forgive a lot of things. Even this if done properly, but for now I just need to not be here anymore. Please know that I don't blame you for any of this. You're just as much a victim of his choices as I am.” You kiss his cheek.

“I love you. Please don't hurt him too much and take care of yourself okay. If you need me you know where I’ll be.” You pivot on your heels and head out the door, gently closing it behind you. You make it all the way to the penthouse they provided you before you break down in tears as you pack up all of your belongings. You’ve just gotta get out here.

That’s how you ended up here, attending a party hosted by Pepper and Tony Stark, as their plus one. In all honesty you knew Tony only threw this event because he wanted to cheer you up and this is the only way he knew how outside of the bedroom. That was his first approach, which was shutdown quickly by Pepper the moment she saw you on their doorstep, clearly heartbroken.

You weren't here only in a work capacity, although they were paying for your time, they just wanted to protect you and let you heal without the added pressure to ‘perform’. So once again, on paper and according to your bank account at least, you were their Sugar Baby.

You did terminate the contract with Steve and Bucky the same day the incident occurred, so it was good to know you wouldn't have to dip into your savings just yet. Thank goodness Pepper still kept your old apartment in Stark Tower ready for you just in case.

The relationship you shared with them was not at all conventional, with or without a contract. Frankly they were the only people you knew who you could always count on and that meant the world to you. You truly did love the Starks. Before Steve and Bucky came along they were your favorite clients. They were the ones to introduce you to the powerful couple, at a party just like this one actually. So technically they were to blame for your current heartbreak.

I wonder if they’ll both show their faces here and if Sharon will be on Steve’s arm? I wonder how Bucky is holding up, if the nightmares have come back? Fuck. I told myself I wasn't going to think about them tonight and here I am almost in tears at the thought of Bucky in pain. I need a drink or five.

It isn’t until you're nursing your third cocktail at the bar, catching up with Wanda that you spot them, the usual entourage of Nat and Sam at their sides, Clint taking up the rear. Ever the intimidating image as always. Other than Tony, who runs Manhattan, they’re the biggest bosses in the room, controlling Brooklyn. Thankfully they brokered a truce years ago and everyone works together peacefully.

Before you have a chance to escape to a far corner where you can hide away, you make the mistake of glancing over your shoulder and catch the intense blues of Bucky staring straight into your soul. Even tired he looks like a damn Greek god. Tragedy included.

He breaks the stare off, leaning over to Nat and whispering something in her ear. You watch as she skillfully distracts Steve and moves him towards the center or the party where the Starks are currently holding court. Lost in watching Nat do what she does best, you don't realize Bucky has made his way over to you until it’s too late and you feel the ghost of fingertips trace down your exposed spine in your backless black dress.

He leans over your shoulder. That sweet baritone you love whispering into your ear. “You look magnificent tonight, Doll. Would you grant a poor mortal the chance to remain in your presence with a dance?”

You lift your glass to your lips, keeping your eyes straight ahead, finishing the remnants of alcohol while you ponder your response. With a steadying breath you respond. “One dance couldn't hurt. But it can't be here, among such prying eyes. I’d rather remain in the shadows tonight.”

“As you wish.” He proceeds to rest his hand on the small of your back and guide you toward a darkened sitting room off the main hall. You could faintly hear the music over the murmur of voices wafting into the space.

He pulls you close, wrapping his large arms around your waist as you rest yours around his thick neck. Being in his arms again, after weeks of loneliness, feels like coming home. You place your forehead against the space between his collarbone when he begins to sway to the dull beat.

“How have you been, Doll? Truthfully. Don’t try to sugarcoat it for my feelings.”

Keeping your face right where it is, to shield you from those steel grays you love so much, you give him your truth. “Surviving. That’s the best way I can describe it. I’ve been licking my wounds and trying to mend this hole I feel in my heart. I keep thinking, I just have to get to tomorrow and the pain will lessen even more. And one day it won’t hurt anymore when I think of them.”

You lift your head to run your eyes over his handsome face. “How about you? How have the Kings of Brooklyn been holding up in their Ivory Tower?”

Looking off into the darkened space, his eyes latching on to a sliver of moonlight coming in through a crack in the curtains. You feel his chest vibrate as he scoffs. “We’re not even sleeping in the same bed right now. I was so upset with him that day that I couldn’t even be bothered to help him with his hangover. Funny enough, Sharon was kicked out immediately by Steve as soon as you left. Like legit woke her up, threw her clothes at her and screamed at her to get the fuck out. She didn’t leave without spewing a few truths first.”

He just shakes his head, rambling out his thoughts as they come into his mind. “Apparently it was her plan all along to get him drunk and earn her spot back by his side. She’d been talking shit about the both of us and just wanted Steve to herself. She knew just how to get into Steve’s head due to his loyalty to her family. Thought that you’d just latch on to me and I would let him go to keep you. She had no idea that you would drop us both because you couldn't handle breaking us apart.”

You stare at him slack jawed, as he turns to look down at your moonlit face.

“Not gonna lie. I’m drowning without you, Doll. I can’t even look at him after what he did. It was reckless, regardless of his inebriated state. He knows how I feel about her and the things she’s done to him and me in the past.” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“The fucking Golden idiot, due to his loyalty to her Aunt and Uncle, and what he feels he owes them, just keeps letting her back in. I’m done with it. What about the respect I deserve as his partner in business and life? Fuck that, what about the respect and loyalty YOU deserve.” He’s staring straight into your soul again.

“Your loyalty. Your love. It saved me babygirl. Your light always cuts through the darkness for me. You were the piece we were fucking missing and I cant believe he would even risk that. I’ve tried to let you go. I understand your reasons for leaving us. But I just can't do it. Even seeing the pain he’s trying to hide away, the tough front he’s putting on, isn’t enough to keep me around right now. I miss you baby. I’d give it all up to have you back in my arms for good. All this lavish bullshit isn't worth anything to me without you by my side. I hate that I’m being punished for his fuck up. Again I'm not blaming you for your decision baby. It just hurts and I miss you so fucking much. I can't even sleep at night anymore.”

You can’t resist running your fingers through the hairs on the nape of his neck. “Bucky. I miss you too. So much. I wish it wasn't like this. I never wanted to leave you. You’re right. You never did do anything wrong. You were more than loyal to me. I hate thinking I’m causing you pain because of a stupid decision he made.” Tears begin to well in your eyes.

He gives your waist a squeeze. “Don’t cry baby. We can figure this out. Where are you staying? I know Tony and Pep took over your contract.”

You sniffle a bit. “They did. But it’s not what you think. Sex is not on the table. Though Tony fought me and Pep on that. He thinks a good dicking is all I need. They just want me to heal in peace. I’m staying here at the Tower in my old apartment.”

He nods his head. “Good. Makes me feel better knowing you're safe.” He grabs your cheeks tenderly. “I wish I could kiss you right now. It’s all I’ve wanted to do these last couple weeks. Just having you in my arms again isn’t enough.”

“Please.” You whisper out.

“Do you mean it, Doll? You're not just telling me what you think I want because you feel guilty for your decision to leave?” He implores.

“I don't regret my decision to leave, Bucky. But I do hate that I had to leave you behind. Like I said that morning. I could forgive almost anything. There’s just not anything you need to apologize for. So why did I let my emotions drag you in with my need for him to be punished? It was stupid of me. If you can forgive me for how I left, I would like to keep you in my life. In whatever way you see fit for that.” You confess.

“Really?” He furrows his brows. Not wanting to get his hopes up.

“Yes. I’ve been miserable without you too.” You smile up at him.

“You good to get out here or do the Starks still need you tonight? Cus there is nothing I want more than to get you out of this dress and underneath me so I can show just how much I truly missed you.” That devilish smile of his, that means nothing but the good kind of trouble adorns his face as he awaits your answer.

“I’m not needed here. This whole party was just to get me out of my apartment anyway and for Tony to be Tony and throw his money around. Plus seeing him walk in like nothing happened, act or not, yeah that shit hit deep.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Then let’s head up to your place and make the most of the rest of our night. I’ve got some time to make up for, and I’m all of a sudden ravenous.” The feral look in his eyes has you clenching your thighs together.

Not to be intimidated, you run a hand down his neck until it rests along the waistband of his dress slacks. “Yes, Sir.”

He lets out a deep growl, pulls you close by the back of your neck and lays the most devastating, soul consuming kiss on your lips. Pouring every emotion into. Conveying without words just how much you mean to him.

How could I have ever left this man behind?

You’ve barely made it through your apartment door before Bucky has you pinned against it.

“I don’t know wether to rip this dress off you and fuck you right here against this door or take my time sweet time and worship every inch of your skin like you deserve.”

“Who says you have to only pick one option? We have the whole night ahead of us, don't we Sir?”

“Fucking minx.” He steals another heated kiss and pulls away from your chasing lips, panting. “Where’s your room babygirl. I’ve decided taking you apart piece by piece on your bed is the best place to start.”

You close your eyes for a moment and suppress a moan. “Promises. Promises. Sir.”

Throwing him a wink, you lick your lips before turning and heading off down the hall. Sashaying your hips and divesting yourself of your dress right outside your bedroom door.

Now completely nude, you climb onto your bed. Just as you lie back, resting on your elbows with your knees bent and legs spread wide, drooling pussy on full display, Bucky’s large figure graces your doorway. Shirtless, he stalks over to the bed, unbuckling his pants and losing them along with his boxer briefs along the way.

He reaches the end of your bed. Eyes zeroed in on your glistening little slit. A feral grin slowly spreads across his face and he pounces. Before you know it your back hits the mattress of your king sized bed and Bucky is pushing your legs apart, resting your knees on his broad shoulders and laying kisses on your thighs.

“This is the only place I wanted to be for weeks. Couldn't stop thinking about all the little noises you make for me when I feast upon this sweet cunt. How you squirm when I hit the right spot with my tongue. Fuck . Just look at you babygirl, so wet for me you're dripping onto the sheets already.” He swipes his tongue up along your folds from entrance to clit, eliciting a moan from you. You’ve always been sensitive but you haven't even touched yourself in the weeks since you left. Too overcome in your grief. So just that little movement is almost too much already.

Clearly a man on a mission, he begins to devour you, wasting no time thrusting his tongue inside as deep as he can. The thick muscle massaging your silken walls, giving them something to clamp on to. “ Fuck, Bucky. That feels so good.”

Your hands are anchored in his hair, pulling on his silken strands, just enjoying the ride on his tongue he is giving you. When he swirls his tongue, pulls it out and then moves it to lightly draw infinity symbols on your clit you lose it.

A kaleidoscope of stars detonates behind your eyes as the orgasm slams into you. Gripping onto his locks tighter as you writhe beneath him, back arching off the mattress before you go boneless.

Coming back to your senses, you blink open your eyes and peer down at Bucky. His chin is glistening wet. A proud smile gracing his handsome face. Adoration shining in his icy blues. “There she is.” He laughs. “Had me worried for a minute there babygirl. Thought I might have made ya pass out. Looks like it was just one hell of an orgasm.”

A sweet smile adorns your blissed out face as you caress his damp cheeks. “One hell of an orgasm indeed.”

He begins to crawl up the bed towards you, leaving a path of kisses in his wake. His massive thighs push your legs further apart as he gives his turgid length a couple of slow strokes. He teases the thick head of his member along your folds, coating himself in your essence.

You lock eyes with him as you whimper. “Please.”

He leans forward, interlocking his hands in yours, placing a toe curling kiss to your lips as he enters the warmth of your cunt. Splitting you open on his generous girth. Pulling his hips back and leaving you no time to adjust as he begins to grind his hips down on yours with every thrust.

Foreheads pressed together, completely lost in this carnal dance of love and devotion. The room fills with the sounds of your passion. A symphony of moans and groans, accompanied with the sound of slick flesh meeting slick flesh.

“Nothing has ever felt as good as your pussy squeezing me so tightly when you lose yourself to your pleasure. I need you to come for me baby. Come around my cock. I’m not going to last much longer and I need to feel you let go for me.” He groans out between brutal thrusts.

It’s like his words have a direct link to your clit and with another well placed swivel of his hips you feel yourself lose control as your orgasm takes over. A rainbow of colors flash behind your eyes and the world sounds as if you're underwater.

Everything comes back into focus just as Bucky is reaching his own climax. Burying himself deep inside you as he bites down on your shoulder and paints your womb white with rope after rope of his seed. Panting, he leaves a gentle kiss on the mark his teeth left behind. You run your fingers through his dark tresses and kiss his nose.

“Fuck I missed that.” He blurts out as he comes down from his own high.

“Agreed. Although, I must admit. It’s never felt quite as intense before. Feral yes. But that was something else altogether. I want more.” The confession slips from your lips.

“I’d give you the world babygirl. All you have to do is ask.” He places a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s make some good use of that large walk in shower I can see from here and get dirty while we get clean. A round two is much needed. I haven't had my fill of you yet tonight.”

You giggle as he rolls over, slides off the bed and proceeds to scoop you up in his arms and into the ensuite. “You weren’t kidding about making up for lost time.”

“Darlin’, I’ll never get enough of you.”

You awaken slowly, sunlight slipping in through the blinds and a sweet soreness throughout your body. You open your eyes to the beautiful sight of a sleeping Adonis laid beside you, as peaceful as you’ve ever seen him. You take a moment to just watch his chest rise and fall with each breath until a vibration against the nightstand to his right catches your attention.

You reach across Bucky’s prone frame to grab his phone. It seems that Steve has been sending texts and leaving messages for Bucky throughout the night. Having felt you move, he rouses from his slumber and nuzzles into your neck. “Not that I’m complaining about having you draped over me like a blanket, but what has you moving around so much already? I thought I wore you out last night.”

Turning the device in your hand towards his slowly waking eyes you respond. “Your phone. Apparently Steve needs your attention.”

He takes his phone from your hand and goes through all the texts and two voicemails left for him. He responds with a picture of the two of you together in bed.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be Pal. Don’t know when or if I’ll be home though.

This is how you spend the next week. Lazy days full of fucking, comfort food, dancing, smoking and watching movies. Just enjoying your time together in a little bubble. Bucky taunting Steve with pictures and videos of how you're spending days together. At one point even you get in on the torment, texting him back pics of Bucky cooking shirtless, in the shower, having a smoke or cuddled up on your lap.

Looks like breakfast is served.

Cleanse the skin of its many sins.

He just can’t seem to quit

He won’t let me move

Bucky is much more of an ass about it though. Sending provocative pics of you and rubbing in how badly he fucked up.

I’ll never get enough of kissing the breath out of her

Best morning view

Gonna have to thank Tony for this secret little room in her apartment.

Having enough of his moping and random fits of anger targeted at whoever was closest, Natasha decides it’s time to take things into her own hands. With some help from her friends of course. Wanting to help move things along, the Starks call a meeting with Steve to be held at the tower in their personal conference room located in their penthouse. They need to figure out if it's even worth letting you back into his life.

Surprisingly Tony is more than okay with Bucky cohabitating in sin with you here in the tower. The smile is back on your face and your laughter is filling the halls once more. But Steve has a bigger battle to fight, having betrayed your trust and he wants to make sure that he understands that.

The man of the hour walks in with a calm step and an air of malice in his cerulean eyes. The bags beneath them tell the story of a man suffering for his choices. Tony has been there before. That time when Pepper came to her senses and left him high and dry when he refused to commit to her, unwilling to give up his playboy ways. That’s when he first used your services. He needed someone on his arm for events and he just couldn’t handle bringing a new person each time. It would only aid in making what Pepper said about him true.

It was you who listened to him make drunken confessions of his true feelings for his former lover. That he did want to commit but he was afraid that he wasn't cut out for monogamy. That’s when you told him all about your non monogamous status. “Monogamy is great for those who chose to live that way. But for me, I’m just not content with only one lover in my life. I am polyamorous as well though. But don’t be confused. Not every non-mono person is that way. Some only want to play with others and keep emotions out of it and that’s ok. I for one am happy with multiple play partners as well as multiple full fledged relationships. To each their own ya know.” You gave a little shrug.

“It seems to me that the only amorous relationship you want is with her. You just want the option to play when an opportunity presents itself. And I’m willing to bet that you want her included in those sessions as well.” You can’t help wiggling your brows.

“That’s the dream isn’t it. Ya know, I think you two would like each other. Too bad I chased her away. The trouble we could all get in together. Mmmm.” He bites his lip and continues drinking his whiskey.

“Who says you can't win her back? Give me your phone.” He hands it over, unaware that you were going to change his life for the better.

Snapping out of his memories and giving attention back to the room full of his friends and fellow gangsters, he locks eyes with Steve. “Hello Steven.” He smirks. “You’re looking well.”

“Cut the crap Tony. What did you drag me here for?” He bites out.

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa Cap. I brought you here for the benefit of your relationships but now I’m thinking I should have left it alone.” He runs his fingers over his goatee.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about that icy little boyfriend of yours and everyone's favorite escort. I’m sure you're more than aware of the love den they have been spending their time in. Licking their wounds and mending their heartbreak together.”

He quirks a brow. “Tony I don't have time for your bullshit. If you didn't bring me here for business then I’m gonna head out that door. I have better things that I could be doing with my time.”

“Like what? Taking out your anger at your colossal fuck up on your subordinates? Spending some more time between that Carter’s legs?” He declares with disdain.

With the quickness of a man half his size, Steve’s hand is wrapped around Tony’s throat. “You need to learn not to speak of things that don’t concern you.”

Pepper and Natasha rush forward. One afraid for her husband's safety, the other worried about the truce being broken due to her boss's emotional outburst. Men.

“Alright boys. Enough is enough. Steven, please let go of my husband. We really did bring you here to help you out. He’s just a little overprotective of her. We all are.” Pepper implores in her softest tone.

With Natasha’s help and a nudge from Sam he finally gives in and lets Tony’s neck go. “Thank you.”

He slumps back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know I fucked up. I let my allegiance to the Carter family blind me and allow my toxic ass ex to manipulate her way back into my life. In the process, regardless of my overly intoxicated state, I betrayed the love of my life, my best friend. As well as the only women who has ever truly understood our dynamic and accepted and loved us unconditionally. And I'm the idiot you didn't realize how madly in love with her I was until I watched her leave us that morning. Us. Not me, who deserved her wrath, but us. She couldn't bring herself to choose between us, even in her pain. I don’t fault Buck for leaving me to my misery to go after her.”

He scoffs. “They’ve been torturing me daily with pictures of their time spent together. I want that. I want back in their good graces but I have no idea how to fix what I broke or even if I can.”

Pepper places her hand on his shoulder. “Of course you can. I can’t speak for James, but I’ve never known her to not at least have an honest conversation. Start there, she’ll appreciate your honesty. Don’t complicate things. Lay all your cards on the table and let them lay down theirs. It’s that simple.”

“I’m willing to go that route. If I even knew where they were.” He sighs.

“Well, lucky for you Cap that Pep here never got rid of the little vixens apartment. And I have it on good authority that they ordered take out that will need to go through security before making it’s way up to them.” Rubbing his neck Tony says with a smirk.

“I’m gonna need you to intercept that order for me.”

You're cuddled up all cozy in Bucky’s lap, watching Bride Of Chucky, when the doorbell goes off.

“Must be the food. I’ll grab it, no need to pause. You know I have this memorized.” You lay a quick kiss on his cheek and make your way to the door.

Grabbing your wallet from the hall table you open the door and let out a gasp. Standing there with your take out in his hand and puppy dog eyes is none other than Steven Grant Rogers.

You have no idea how long you stand there, just staring at him.

“Hey babe, what’s taking so long? Can’t find your wallet again?” Bucky comes up behind and stops in his tracks when his eyes land on Steve. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Bucky.” You admonish.

“No, no, it’s okay. I get it.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I just wanted to talk to both of you. Tony and Pep helped me get up here. Please. I just want to talk. If you don't like what I have to say you can kick me out and I’ll never bother you again. That goes for you too Buck.”

You and Bucky share a look, before you open the door further and step aside. “Come on in, Steve.”

You head back to the living room, and have Steve place the food on the coffee table as you pause the movie and take a seat on the sofa next to Bucky.

Instead of sitting on the loveseat to the left of you, Steve lowers himself to his knees before you. “First and foremost, I’m sorry. I’m not even going to try and make excuses for it. Drunk or not, it shouldn't have happened. And I definitely shouldn’t have yelled at you when I was only angry at myself.”

He reaches for your hands, which you let him take. “You had every right to leave me. I’m an idiot. I love you and I let you slip away.” He turns to Bucky. “I’m sorry I even entertained her baby. I know how she makes you feel. Again, I’m an idiot.”

“Not gonna argue with you on that one.” Bucky says as he leans back against the couch.

“I can’t promise that I won’t fuck up again in some way. I am stubborn after all. But what I can promise is that I’ll try. I’ll give you both my all and do what is necessary to win your trust back. Just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

You look at Bucky. “Do you believe him? Do you believe he’s remorseful and truly ready to make amends?”

“Seeing as how I’ve only ever seen him on his knees when he’s servicing me and I placed him there. I’m gonna have to go with yes I think he means it. The decision is up to you though, Doll. From here on out. I go where you go.” He places a kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you for laying this all on my shoulders Buck.” You turn back to Steve and place a hand upon his face. He nuzzles into it. “I’m willing to give you a chance. But just the one. You’re going to have to really work to earn our trust back and we won't take it easy on you. You’re going to need to woo us all over again.”

“Challenge accepted.” He quickly agrees.

“How about a kiss to seal the deal?” You suggest.

He leans in. “With pleasure, Doll.” He wraps his hand in your hair and proceeds to get you drunk off his love.

#poc reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #mafia au #avengers au #stucky x reader #stucky smut

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andromedaexists · 3 months

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Infinity Alchemist || Kacen Callender

★★★★★

TW: ABUSE (FAMILIAL, ON PAGE), DEATH (MURDER), GUILT, GRIEF, MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS (FADE TO BLACK), VIOLENCE

I always feel like I don't know where to start with these. 9 times outta 10 I'm writing reviews right off the end of the book and this one... I have tears in my eyes. This is a 6 star book for me. Firmly. My heart hurts

I received this book as an ARC in return for an honest review. Thank you to Tor Teen and NetGalley for the ARC.

Infinity Alchemist releases in just a few weeks on Feb. 6th I believe, and I highly recommend it to anyone who will listen.

Once again calling back to any book that makes me physically feel something get an automatic five star, but this book did more than that. This book wrapped my heart in tendrils of alchemical magic and refuses to let go.

Let's start with the characters: Ash, Ramsay, Callum, and Marlowe. Ash is our POV character and in a trans POC man. He is an asshole who has a rough life, growing up in the slums with a mother who passed away not too long ago. He wants to prove himself worthy of his absent father, and will stop at nothing to do so.

Ramsay is a prodigy, the genderfluid child of known and executed terrorists hell-bent on atoning for their sins. She uses he/she pronouns, though leans more towards she/her throughout the book. She is also such an uptight prick... until she's not. I genuinely love how prickly and rude she is and how much that shows to me as an autistic mask. I just love her so much.

Callum is a black man and the youngest son of the Kendrick house, more or less the police state in book. He is kind and caring despite the heavy hand of his father and all he wants to do is heal. He wants to heal and help others, like the good man he is.

These three, oh these three. They hold my heart.

Marlowe is my obligatory redhead (listen I have to point them out when they are given to me!). She is an orphan of House Lune and becomes so integral to the story in ways I never thought possible.

Without given away too many spoilers, I want to tell yous: there is so much diversity in this cast. So much! It's beautiful!! And, AND, we get not one, but two (2) separate Rivals-to-Lovers ARCs that don't end in a love triangle, but a polycule! We also get best friends to lovers to bitter exes to lovers once again!!

As far as the worldbuilding goes, I have to say that Kacen is a master at weaving these mystical and fantastical realms together in a way that not only make sense, but feel real. I felt like I was in the higher realms with the characters, like I knew exactly what each house was and why they were there.

I have aphantasia, which means that I cannot imagine what anything ever looks like. And yet, the beautiful world descriptions put me there. They called back to things that I do know and do have experience with and built off of it. I very genuinely could see myself in the world, and that is saying a lot.

I don't think I can talk too much more about this book without bringing myself to tears again, so let's pivot to some of my favorite quotes to make y'all understand the gravity of this book:

The world became a white blur. The snow turned red. It fell to the ground, drops spreading like blots of ink. The blood dripped from Amelia's cheeks. Her smile faded as the screams began.

That's what privileged assholes like you always say.

[redacted] paused, but only for a moment. He opened the [redacted]. There was an explosion of light.

It was too late. [redacted] was already there.

It wasn't death he'd feared, he realized, but the change—the transformation that forced him to release.

This light held the vibration of energy that the physical body would translate as love.

They all created the same infinite light. They were eternal.

It was an interesting place to be caught, stuck between grief and gladness that they were gone.

Okay, I think that's all I can put without spoilers.

One thing I forgot to mention: this book is genuinely funny. Maybe it's because of the autistic mask I mentioned earlier, but the interactions between Ramsay and Ash at any given point past like 20% of the book are genuinely funny. I love Ramsay's sense of humor.

Anyways, that's all for this book! I am going to curl up in a ball and cry while I purchase a physical copy to annotate and put on my recommendations shelf. This is a story that I will be thinking about years down the line, I just know it. Ash is a part of my soul now, and I can't wait to see what he does next.

#andi reads #book reviews #booklr #bookblr #lgbt books #queer books #queer book directory #infinity alchemist #kacen callender

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k-renee · 11 months

Text

this thing i wrote

topic : sad shit about jeff (and monty, i guess) dying

pairing : jeff atkins x poc!fem reader

a/n:: this is like 80% accurate and there's like ONE made up character. the brother of reader, essentially. sorry it's shit <3

jeff atkins had always been my best friend. since the day i met him. the day he died. the day i watched them lower him into the ground. always.

my twin brother andre and i had moved in next door to him and his parents. my mom had forced me and and dre to go outside until they were done unpacking, which wouldn't be for hours. so we sat on the porch, bored out of our tiny little kid minds.

then jeff came out.

he had skin a little lighter than his brown hair, but it was the summer, so he was darker. we all were. he had diamonds in his ears—and he was lying to us about it cuz they were actually rhinestones, now that i remember—and i thought he was so cool for that. i mean, dre and i both had our ears pierced, but it was different because dre only had one ear done, and my earrings were all kawaii and had faces and shit.

but for real, i think the coolest, craziest, most...exotic—if you will—thing about jeff was his eyes. one minute they were blue, the next they were green. it just beat me and dre's plain dark brown eyes that were so dark you couldn't see the irises.

anyway.

he asked us to play baseball with him in his backyard, since he only had one player. himself. i honestly believe he's the reason why i sometimes feel bad for only children.

so we did. and jeff was damn good at it. i don't even know why he asked us to play like he was up for a challenge, because he beat us easily, even though he was outnumbered.

but after that, it was history. we all went to school together. we grew up together. we spent all of our summers together. and over time, one more kid came around.

montgomery de la cruz.

and monty, he was an asshole. a stupid, insane asshole who was like two years younger than us only because he was held back. he was almost a spawn of satan. but he was our friend. we all changed together, no matter how bad of a person one of us (monty) was.

then high school came around. that…that changed everything.

those were the summers that i literally turned pretty. i started to sprout and grow into a woman, and monty and dre and jeff were all there to see it (kinda weird if i think about it now). and everyone noticed. everyone. but i didn't care, because the most important one, that was jeff.

and i was always in love with jeff, i knew that. andre knew that. hell, maybe jeff knew. but the summer before freshman year was when it really mattered. when i really felt it. he’d always have given me some stupid weird fluttering in my stomach everytime he smiled or laughed, but that summer—it was butterflies.

eventually, we started dating. “going out”, essentially. and it was great. i didn't need to argue with him because we agreed on everything and we always had since the beginning of time. i didn't need to be too scared to tell him stuff because he already knew everything. that is—or was—my favorite part about our relationship.

and then just like that, he was gone.

one hour jeff and andre were dragging me to a party. we were having fun. jeff had one drink. dre and i shared three cans of diet coke. jeff went on a beer run i told him not to go on.

the next hour, clay was calling my brother in hysterics.

i was screaming for monty and zach to drive us to the hospital. my nose was bleeding because of my blood pressure, and i had an ice pack on it on our way, but it didn't do anything because i was crying so hard. we got to the hospital. his parents were there. the doctors looked at me. looked at us. looked at our colored faces with no sympathy and told us jeff was already dead. lifeless, in a hospital bed. they didn't even bother cleaning him up. just brought him in and didn't do a damn thing to help save him.

and they all made up this fucking story that he had been drinking and driving. he was drunk, and that's why he died. he crashed on his own, and it was his own fault his life was over.

but that wasn't it. and i learned that two years after he died. i believed this false narrative everyone had made up, and i hate myself for it. i knew him better than anyone, and when i should've been there for him when all people were doing was talking shit, i wasn't. i let them talk because i believed their bullshit.

every day i think of how they put up posters that discouraged underage drinking right after jeff died. how drinking and driving would get you killed. were they not aware or sensitive about my feelings? our feelings?

jeff and i had plans. me, dre, and him were graduating that year. jeff got his full baseball scholarship at some college and i got into an hbcu on a 95% scholarship. dre was gonna get into something, we knew it. we had faith even though his grades weren't too great. we were all gonna visit each other and call everyday. and then jeff was gone. he fucking crashed into another car and it was all over. everything he'd worked for had all gone to shit because he fucking died.

and i hate myself for putting him in that position. letting him leave in the first place. going to that party with him in the first place.

then years later, monty was killed after he was sent to prison.

i'm not gonna say that monty didn't deserve everything that came at him. i can't deny that monty was a terrible person. i can't deny that he was a monster. because he was.

but it's hard to admit that when you grew up with the monster. when you were a close friend of the monster. when you loved the monster.

nothing romantic, but i loved monty. we all did. not because of how sick he was—he absolutely needed help—but because we knew him. those who need help get thrown in prison and are locked away from the help they deserve. the other, worse monsters, like bryce walker, don't get put in prison. walker did ten times worse than monty and only got a measly community service sentence. monty couldn't get half of what he needed because he was—let's face it—darker and poorer than bryce was.

and that monster died too.

maybe bryce's family feels the same way that i do about monty. they hurt so many people, including me. but i can't say–no one can say–if they truly deserved it.

the funny thing is that monty and bryce were friends. so i really don't know if they both deserved it or if they both didn't. and maybe you think they have more in common than i let on. maybe you think that they were both monsters that used people for their own satisfaction, for their own pleasure, and they ultimately paid the price with their lives. and maybe that's true.

but who fucking knows. we're not god out here, but nobody here is an angel.

jeff wasn't perfect, i know. but he was trying. he tried. we all were. we all do. he just wanted to cheer up anybody who he thought was unhappy. he wanted to help people. he wanted to have fun.

and that's all he wanted. he wasn't selfish. he wasn't a drunk bastard alcoholic. he wasn't a jock who was a jerk like scott. he wasn't a somewhat-okay guy who had a good heart somewhere like zach. he wasn't a monster that used people for his own benefit like monty and bryce.

jeff was an angel. to me. to his family, to everybody. and he deserved better. he deserved more than that.

#13rw #13 reasons why #jeff atkins #jeff atkins x reader #13 reasons season 2

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maya-matlin · 3 months

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7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 on my pinned list of Degrassi asks - only if you want to, of course!

Oh, thank you! I'll have to send you more asks in a bit. <3

Characters I'm most similar to:

1.) Ellie Nash

2.) Grace Cardinal

3.) Terri MacGregor

Three things I would change:

1.) The mishandling of practically every black and POC character. It's no secret that almost all of them were either sidelined or barely given a fraction of the focus the white characters were given. Ex: Liberty's pregnancy was almost all about JT, Jimmy's reaction to the shooting and his paralysis is minor compared to the focus on Spinner and his redemption arc, Chantay doing precious little for eight seasons straight, Tiny exists only as a love interest and Zig's sidekick in spite of his rich background involving addict parents, Vince, and previous gang ties, Shay's mostly only prominent during a story line specifically about racism compared to Frankie and Lola.

2.) Inadvertently making multiple main characters rapists because the writers were uneducated about what healthy consent looks like (Sav/Anya in season 9, Holly J/Declan in season 10, Drew/Katie in season 12)

3.) Queerbaiting the Zoe/Grace romance in Next Class to prove a point about stereotypes by punishing the one character not stereotyping or making assumptions about Grace. Straight up, they didn't need to have sex. That was hurtful and way too far. All this specifically told from Zoe's perspective, meaning the show deliberately kept Grace's feelings and motivations a mystery.

Characters I once loved but then disliked:

1.) Declan Coyne (Season 10 originally turned me off, but rewatching season 9 only reinforced that he was always an entitled, self involved person with a flimsy grasp on respecting the word "no")

2.) Owen Milligan (Love is a stretch, but I easily accepted him as a boyfriend to Anya and protective brother to Tristan presumably because I thought Daniel Kelly was hot with longer hair. I know myself, and 18 year old me had no shame. Owen Milligan had zero redeeming qualities.)

3.) Johnny DiMarco (Not full on dislike, but I've lost a lot of respect for the character and feel he spent a lot of time being a malicious asshole and involving himself with a much younger girl well past the age of knowing better. Just because he acknowledged JT four seasons after his death doesn't make him a good person)

Characters I once disliked but now like:

1.) Mia Jones (She wasn't that bad. She just came onto the show during an awkward era, and I was then a big fan of JT/Liberty and Peter/Darcy. While the modeling arc wasn't great and Degrassi could have done a better job showing her struggles as a teen mom, she was well intentioned and people liked her because she was nice. It's that simple, but I had a visceral hatred of her LOL)

2.) Campbell Saunders (It wasn't him. It was the overwhelming fan response. Now that it's been a decade since his character was killed off, I can admit he was a good character. Just not a personal favorite)

3.) Drew Torres (I'm aware there's a lot wrong with him and that he deserves an award for the consecutive amount of bad decisions he made, but there's something endearing about the character. I'm a big fan of his growth, particularly in season 13 and during the first half of season 14. He got screwed so that the baby could be Eli's, and I hated it)

#first-date-in-space #Long post

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sextonsharpwinhalstead · 1 year

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Yeah, I was trying to say without saying and being more long-winded than I already was. That there are a lot of men in the Med writer's room. And that was the quickest thing they could do without completely damaging her character. But it was just enough that it would tack on to everything else they already had planned and I refuse to believe the writers and showrunners don't understand how negative storylines will also get a character trashed especially black and other nonblack poc characters. Because there's no way they thought their writing in 5 made sense. From her and Choi openly flirting in the ED for the first time in what 3 seasons. Then her random crush on Marcel, the kiss. Then her not exactly apologizing for it and being sort of callous when she's still working with CM and Ethans offended. And lord Ethan crying to Ms. Goodwin yeah that will really get to the fans, especially the anti-Chexton fans who want to make it clear they're not anti-the actress they're just so ToXiC. While forgetting that Halstead was a total asshat to Natalie in the beginning and they fought and broke up for dumb sxxt too. And all the people still crying over Ava and Rhodes all these years later as if it isn't weird that all Ava did was basically neg Connor and Robin in the beginning. How is that not toxic? And if April is a B like everyone claims then Choi needs to were an asshole hat too.

I search the tags when I can't sleep and the number of fans losing their shit here and on Twitter when April probably has been on the screen for longer than 30 minutes in the 2 episodes we've actually seen her face is insane. Many of them are mad because their fave isn't back, so that's one aspect. The others are laughing because her show was canceled and basically doing everything but calling her u---ty for daring to leave. And swearing that she's only back because of that when there is evidence to the contrary. We can't hold our breath but if the spoilers I've seen aren't OC trolling us with pictures from scrapped storylines, then these haters better prepare to be sick of me. Because I won't rest if Chexton gets the happy ending Brian wanted in 2020.

There are always too many men. That's it that's the thought lol. The way they play in our face like we don't notice is wild.

The more I thougut about it the more I think that they added Marcel because they remembered that April started the show with a fling with Kelly. Which meant that she was capable of that kind of fun hookup. The problem is they didn't do ANYTHING to further that in six seasons. Neither before or after Ethan. And they are capable of it because we've watched Will and Connor bone their way through Chicago. Like a common problem with One Chicago is they forget to write anyone who isn't white a love interest/personal lives. They forget that many fans find them desirable.

Back when they introduced the Marcel/April story and everyone was crying and whining in my f*cking inbox about poor Ethan I wanted to make a meme of Vicki sipping tea because ETHAN CHEATED ON HER WITH APRIL and NEVER came clean. It was just kiss for both of them but you'd think that April murdered his sister the way people act. Or that Ethan wasn't capable of the same. I guess because it was in service to Chexton no one cared. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I truly believe Chexton is going to get a hopeful ending. Yaya is on her way to joining the cast of The Lincoln Lawyer, it's Netflix which is about as bad as Fox so I hope it works out but I think Yaya was interested in giving her character the closure she deserved and Ethan too. I just like knowing April finished her program and works independently. Now she gets love too and folks can die mad about it.

You don't have to like Chexton but folks might wanna check why they are so bitter seeing these two characters happy in a farewell, KNOWING Ethan has grown is... telling.

And yes it's wild that ppl still bitch about Ava and Rhodes and Manst*ad. Those ships were toxic AF. You have to be an Ava apologist to pretend you didn't see how batshit she was the ENTIRE time, people are like "you ruined her" and I'm like, "Are yall okay?!" Natalie was snotty AF to Will and Will was misogynistic AF to Natalie. Everyone hated her and only cared about her in that ship. Mess.

#chicago med #april sexton #ethan choi #ask sextonsharpwinhalstead

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toomanyopinionss · 2 years

Text

My thoughts while watching

Fate: The Winx Saga Season 2

Ok, so I had NO intention of watching this. I mean the show was a mess, the characters sucked, the story was barely passable, and it was just bad. The only reason I decided to watch this was because of Flora. She was my favorite character as a child, and I was genuinely curious. I didn’t NOT like it, is all i’m saying. I will say though, that the story felt just as loose and strange as the first season. So structure-wise, not much changed. However, the characters are OODLES more likeable. and the friendship between the girls this season felt genuine. but to be fair, the bar was in he!! so… let’s get into it:

Bloom. She was great. My biggest complaint about the last season was that it felt like the show was basically “Bloom and her sidekicks” but this season felt so much more balanced. Her arch was a little wobbly, but still strong. And fvck it, i’m GLAD she killed Rosalind. someone needed to put that b!tch down fast cause the way that woman so got on my NERVES?! Her relationship with sky was actually quite heartwarming. it wasn’t my favorite coupling in the show, and had its bumps, but i found it really nice to seem then on screen together. they really fit. So yeah. Bloom gets a 7.5/10

AISHA GOT A STORY LINE. Of course it was about a boy, cause this is a dark teenage netflix drama but at least it was something. The serious lack of POCs in this show in season one was staggering, so I was hoping for something, ANYTHING. She really proved to be the backbone of this group. Her and the boy were cute. i don’t really have any strong opinions about grey. His lil “blood witch reveal” was unsurprising and basic, cause he was just too nice. But whateva. i liked her water wings, i think (spoiler alert). a little wonky, but better than stella’s [hottake].

I loved Stella. One of my favorite characters this season. She felt so real and genuine compared to last season. Her character arch is really good, and i loved the moments between her and Beatrix. Speaking of Beatrix…

BEST CHARACTER THIS SEASON. I don’t give a shit if she’s playing for both teams. She does what she can to stay alive. Girly lost EVERYTHING. Truly no one had it quite as bad as she did, she was literally in the trenches. I really could not help but applaud everything she did, i did not care. Cause that self preservation mode was on HIGH. and i would have done the same damn thing if I was in her shoes. and then her ending?! Netflix clearly not seeing heaven for that.

Musa’s storyline was so powerful. In the second half more so than the first. No hate on sam, he aight. but i have no strong feelings towards him, and i think he needed to go in order for musa to go on the path she did. the way the explored her relationship with her powers was *chefs kiss*. i wanna see more of it next season. her and riven’s chemistry was really good. I can’t wait to see what they do with that as well.

Terra is LEAPS AND BOUNDS better than she was before, and not just because of her lil rainbow reveal ;). She felt like more a part of the group, but her character arch felt natural. In season one, she was very pushy, very annoying, and could be condescending at times. And the thing is, she’s STILL LIKE THAT. But it’s so clear that she’s grown and matured since the last season, and i so love that. also her and that specialist have my entire heart, they were so precious.

Flora didn’t really do much for me. At first, I thought they just added her for that extra poc on screen (netflix is def not above that). But near the end of the show, her character kind of sat right with me. Especially when she sacrificed herself?! The sympathy pains were strong on that one. So, high hopes for her future.

Kay, this is getting a lil lengthy. so let’s do a lightning round:

Riven: I like him so much more, he’s definitely less of an asshole then before

Sky: Skmilar to Beatrix, he kind of went through a lot and lost basically everything by the end; would have liked to see a bit more of an ending for him, but they only had so much time.

Dane: Dane can get a review when Dane comes back with a storyline.

Andres: the only thing i felt when he died was pity for beatrix, like he was so useless.

Rosalind: Piece of actual shit with a black conscious, no morals, and literally no endgame?! like all that mysterious build up just to end up six feet under. rip, rest in pain

Terra’s dad: don’t even care enough to remember his name, but are we all just gonna accept the fact that he left his freakin 16/17 year old daughter by herself at a school with an evil headmaster and freaking evil blood witches on the loose?! make it make sense plz

ok i’m done. that was draining. read my First Season Review if you want

tldr - better than the first season imo. still no sign of tecna tho

#toomanyopinions #fate the winx saga #the winx saga #winx club #winx musa #winx flora #winx terra #winx bloom #winx stella #winx beatrix #winx sky #winx riven #netflix #winx aisha #winx grey

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agropuff · 1 year

Note

tell me everything abt hicktown RIGHT NOW!!!!!

WOah calm down there friend no need to pull out the capital letters and the five (5) exclamation marks! (tysm for asking abt them they're in my head 24/7 and I'm kissing u right on ur beautiful noggin)

okay, this is really hard to explain itd be easier to show but I have ZERO (0) pages done so ur gonna have to stick with me okay pleas and thank u.

Hicktown takes place in a small town in the 80s and focuses (I'm gonna switch POVs a couple thousand times so sorry in advance) on Jacob, who has just moved into said small town to live with his stepbrother Joe and him being the amazing family man he continues his fathers legacy by leaving a child by their lonesome to go party with his friends and now Jacob's on his own so he just explores this big ass house, did I mention Joe's family is rich? Remember that.

Switch POVs we're with Joe at this random party hanging out with his girlfriend (Angie) and his BFF (Eddie) on a patio (very important detail/s). Angie fucks off to who knows where and so The Boys are alone and Eddie breaks the silence with:

"Hey, I love you man but your girlfriend is kind of a freak."

Very tactful but not tactful enough so Joe displaying a very Rare W is like "Hey man that's totally not cool what you said about someone I really care about please take that back and apologise to Angie or we won't be friends anymore." (HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY SAY THIS IT INVOLVES A LOT LESS CRITICAL THINKING) so they have a big fight Joe probably calls Eddie faggot (did I mention that Eddie's gay and has internalised homophobia running through his veins and Joe knows this and also uses this against him. Wow [I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER]) so Eddie leaves and Angie comes back.

Angie can see that he's upset so she Invites Joe to go out into the woods with her to take a breather and he Accepts.

So they go out into the woods together and they talk about anything that they can think of until Angie stops Joe. They're deep into the woods now and the only thing allowing them to see is the moonlight. It's a quiet night sans the music but even then it's been drowned out from the distance. Even the quiet chittering of wildlife is gone.

A twig snapping is what breaks Joe out of his trance.

It all happens so quickly. There's a bat cracking his skull open and white hot pain is eating him alive.

Okay, I'm gonna stop here or I'm gonna spill the entire story LOL. Sorry abt how messy and jumbled this is I'm sillay. but I gotta explain their character archetypes bc it's very important!!!

Joe's character is a spin-off of the pretty boy character he's that but awful. He's built off of being pretty, rich, privileged and WHITE (sounds silly but it fr adds to his character + I get to laugh at him)

He stops being an asshole i prommy <3333

EDDIE, my sweet boy, is the #gaybestfriend (+poc) trope

eddie loves and supports joe but also has a hard time standing up for himself and articulating how he feels to ppl and kinda just goes along with what joe does. the only reason he allows this is bc they're childhood friends (and he has a big phat crush on joe) he would not take shit from anyone else but keeping up with it is definitely wearing him down :(

things get better for all o them tho I love them too much to hurt them permanently

if you read all of this holy fuck u have my heart

#hicktown #ask #writing #jackory speaks #long post #theres more characters but this post is long enough so ill shut up #long-lost-mcguffin #asks #keegy weegy ocs

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didihorrorblog · 2 years

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I need to give myself a pat on the back

I hoped someone asked about it because I never want to seem self centered or egotistical. But I am getting over that fear. I think I made a top tier Friday The 13th romance fanfiction. I think that I managed to go against cliches and create a realistic romance.

Here is what I usually saw that for me personally made it hard to get into the story/fic. Not that it makes the fic bad- it can certainly be done well, but its been so repetitive its hard to enjoy anymore.

Bullied for being perfect

Extremely young to be...having sex with a grown man

Too customizable to the point it breaks the story (think, madlibs)

Doesn't follow customization [i.e. (your hair color) *paragraph later* hey blonde!]

Having no reason other than plot device that the family is extremely and unrealistically abusive.

Being very beautiful, when the reason Jason died was because he wasn't seen as beautiful and was bullied for it

I'll admit one of the main reasons I created my fanfiction was because there was literally no black representation or poc rep in general (or fat rep). I wanted a story that had a slow burn and had an actual romance, had some form of bonding that was platonic yet romantic. And that didn't seem out of character for Jason and Pamela. Many tend to forget Pamela is an important character in the series and when they do they make her extremely out of character.

I'll admit I used some clichés like them going to the camp but I added my own twist to it. They are all poor college students who can't afford a resort and they are out of state students who aren't very familiar with local legends. And Mireya's friends weren't assholes to her like I've seen in many fanfics. They weren't killed because they didn't have sex- they were actual friends rather than sexually charged acquaintances.

I made Mireya a hate crime victim, someone disfigured for being born differently because not only thats what poc deal with irl but it would make sense for Pamela to like her. Pamela knows Mireya understands how its like to be bullied for being born different and definitely understand how its like to be bullied for how you look.

Pamela would realistically find comfort in her son being with this woman over someone who's bullied for being too beautiful or too talented. Mireya has gone through shit and that makes her more empathetic. Mireya has insecurities that are relatable to Jason.

And the love...the love I wrote for them makes me so happy. It was slow, it was friendly, it was patient. That's the ticket it was patient. They waited to have sex, yes there was tension but they knew they weren't ready yet. And it wasn't until their love was deep enough that they did finally get intimate it was a consummation. They were practically married.

And her friends reactions to finding out she's inlove with a serial killer are realistic, Savannah is scared for her friend and Amy is angry that her friend sides with her cousins killer. And this leaves Jaquann and Alex in a tough spot.

Rereading it back.... its beautiful what I managed to do. And that has inspired me more to continue the second book.

#horror #jason voorhees #friday the 13th #jason fanfiction #jason voorhees fanfiction

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burneraccbcyallpissedmeoff · 8 months

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First of all, this is a burner account so, rage all you want I'm not gonna respond, but i had to get this off my chest, either that or I'll just leave this fandom

Alexis

Let's break it down

1.Alexis is not that important to have eachother by the throat over

This discourse is pointless, and petty as fuck, we don't care if you love her or you want to fuck her keep it to yourself

2.you don't know SHIT about Alexis to do all of this

Unless erik gave you and only you private audios where Alexis has a listener and you know her like you know the characters with playlists and audios, you ain't got no fucking right to decide for us if she's redeemed or deserves to die by garlic poisoning

Assume for yourself, leave everyone else

If you're gonna bring up that we would understand her if we know her side of the story, well guess what? We don't know that yet, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it

3.don't compare Alexis to other villains in the story

Before you come and say "oh but yall simp/don't trash talk vega/blake/quinn/ivan like you do her" count with me

Vega has: a playlist, 2 listeners, a mention and a voice in the imperium and is an important plot point + a main character in the plot

Blake has: a playlist, a listener (two if you will), and is an important plot point + a main character in the plot

Ivan has: a playlist, 2 listeners, a mention and a voice in the imperium + a main character in his story

Quinn has: a mention in the imperium and is a plot point of which a whole playlist was built by (without counting fred's taken down playlist)

What does Alexis have to be worthy enough of comparing to any of those villains?, all she has is 5 minutes in the imperium (while torturing milo,i should add), and she gets killed right after

Next time you wanna compare her to someone else make sure they are

-a side character

-only mentioned in prime

-only voiced in the imperium

-portrait as a villain

Anything else it's invalid

4.why Alexis

Out of ALL the side characters we've seen that has been mentioned/voiced/talked about yall chose to care for her? What makes her so goddamn special????

Miguel is around, brooks is too, christian, ansel exist in that universe, no one seems to care? Why? Why did we never have a discourse over if christian got better or not? We heard about/from him way more then we ever did Alexis

If you like her voice that much, go to "love boldly voice acting asmr", healer is over there, go simp for her

But if your argument includes

-because she's a woman

-because she's a POC

I have news for you, you're sexist and racist, putting a woman above all the other male characters and putting someone with a darker skin shade above all (assumed) white people

if you can't see christian becoming better and still see him as an asshole, but also see Alexis for the better side of her, it's not fucking fair

5.All around Alexis

This is the actual reason i didnt post this on my actual account but fuck it

Yall are insane about Alexis because yall are afraid and brain-washed to think that POC and woman do no wrong, let alone a mix of two

Yall think that

POC/woman = saints

Which as i said racist against any other race yall are putting down for it( in this case white,because somehow having a whole cast of black people≠having a whole cast of white people,and the former is better while the latter is cancel worthy) and sexist because yall cherish her over all other male characters

And that is not your fault, not really, it's what the media made you think, but i wish you realize it before it's too late

I say this as a black person, racism can be against any and all race

6.a reminder

If you think we'll understand Alexis if we hear her side of turning sam

I hope to remind you that:

Sam still hasn't bitten darling not only because he was turned against his will by Alexis

But he has a bad past with biting because of her even before he was turned

That is all i have to offer of now, shall we meet at another discourse,if i didntget banned till then:)

#redacted alexis

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delicatebluebirdruins · 2 years

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Ghost Wars

image id: grayscale image of a man looking over his shoulder at figures in the mist with the title “ghost wars“

sister and I both gave it 2.5 stars out of 5

breakdown Avan/ main character; music and costumes

this is a ramble (but if you’ve seen my blog this is not a surprise)

Avan was great though Roman as a character was under used (he just seemed so tired and couldn’t give a fuck and his powers were seeing ghosts and sending them away with glowing blue eyes which happened three times which is damn shame because Avan looked hot) and the ending of the season is complete and utter bollocks and shite as he and his girl friend essentially murders a woman so his ghost girl friend (Maggie) can take over her body, because the woman they killed is terminally ill so at some point they’re going to have to kidnap and murder another person.

side note I want to make a few posts of his interactions with other characters and Maggie makes note that they’re all using him for his ability to see ghosts she does the same thing him, she asks him to speak to her Dad the man who called him a freak when we first met him and who gathered a half hearted lynch mob to kill him (don’t know if they were going through with it but there was a noose and a shovel) and threatened him with a gun but Roman being the best character helps him and reveals how Maggie died and he gets a moment with his daughter and then when they find out he left what does Maggies dad say? I told you all we couldn’t trust him (Did I mention Maggie knew part of what happened to Romans mum and she didn’t tell him until after he helped her dad)

the scares were good and so was the story (until the ending and Romans decision to run off with his bitch of a girlfriend) but it was predictable (one of the characters gets pregnant with a demon ghost baby thing and I made a joke how she was going to go into labour soon I was not wrong)

(in my search for interviews I kinda want to make another thing about this show i found a review on imdb “ The townspeople are more interesting than the main character which makes it incredibly hard to watch.” and they make no mention that the MC is a POC and i do agree kinda)

so the characters: we aready know I love Roman; Maggie annoyed me pretty early on (one of those characters where you just take a instant dislike too) and I did feel for her when she dies and her dad finding her body and moved on when she was supposed too; Val and Marilyn I liked them, Father Dan was insidious he was part of the group who evicted Nadine (Roman’s mum) out of town he was there when she died and then he spent a good amount of time sending letters to Roman pretending to be his mum; Sheriff Sam we liked him and then he promptly dies in the first epsiode and he was another of my favourite characters I wonder how he would have acted if he had lived or became a helpful ghost (I think he would have been the best character and the only one not using Roman) Karla the barkeep I liked her and was sad with what happened to her. Landis and Billy were great at times and then rest of the characters were on various of levels of hypcrotical assholes. I did like them but then they did something and I just went back to wanting them dead

funny at times like lynch mob comes for Roman and he’s just like “oh it must be Tuesday“

you know beautiful creatures book and film? there’s this quote which i was thinking about when scrolling through the tag and saw a thing commenting on Roman trying to leave in the first episode start quote “There were only two kinds of people in our town. “The stupid and the stuck,” my father had affectionately classified our neighbors. “The ones who are bound to stay or too dumb to go. Everyone else finds a way out.” end quote I only remembered the film version of this quote (shorter) and both apply I think to some of the characters in this show

the music was good (some good songs used I wish I wrote down before we moved onto the next episode) and the whistling was eerie

and the costumes for Daphne (the pirate look was great) and Roman (so comfy) were amazing

in relation to the strange reactions of the characters to what was happening I had to two thoughts about it

one is more of a question over how long the series actually takes place

and two is what if this world is part of a Lucifer style hell loop/ happy death day

eta it was a mess of ideas traditional ghosts but with tangible weakenesses but also something that can only be described as aliens

So if there was a season 2 we would watch it probably after learning what happens first (Maggie actually being the cause of all the bad stuff? what’s up with Father Dan’s ghost?) or Mike Flanagan does a reboot with Avan back

#ghost wars 2017 #ghost wars syfy

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northern-passage · 3 years

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Honestly it's been extremely disappointing seeing authors that I followed and supported go and trash mishka. And its extremely hard to listen to you guys preach kindness and support towards IF authors and then see you guys do the exact opposite. And for what? Because of racial stereotypes? Which ones? When she called one of her characters "animalistic" (which she apologized for)? That had more to do with her being a vampire rather than her race so I really hope that isn't what you guys are talking about. Or is it because you feel she hasn't properly researched? If that's the case, I can name 5+ IF books that definitely need to do more research so I hope you're out here "criticizing" them too and not just targeting mishka because of her bigger platform. If you truly feel this why not reach out to mishka and let her know "hey there's a couple questionable things in your story that I think you should fix" you know like a fellow supportive if author should do? Instead of basing on her on your account?And I know this will have some people pissed, but oh well, race and sexuality has very little to do with it and this is coming from a bisexual poc. When finding a new story most people know nothing about the author, let alone their race and sexuality, so the authors that I've seen discrediting mishka and insinuating that her success is due to the fact that she's white and cis are not only straight up assholes but are also completely false. Its become abundantly clear this week that the readers aren't the only reason for this community's toxicity. What makes it more sad is that I started following a lot of you a while ago and totally planned to support you guys once your stories were finished, all this drama sort of just left a sour taste in my mouth. I completely understand some of twc fans are being horrible to you guys and I'm sorry for that but that's doesn't call for you all to shit on mishka and her writing. We all just need to do better

no one is shitting on mishka, literally the whole problem is people like you coming into my and other authors inboxes for no reason other than to throw around accusations and play victim. i have no problem with twc and i don't give a shit if you read it and enjoy it. i don't mind people defending authors either, when it's necessary - i've done it myself. but here is the problem - you people don't know the difference between harassment and criticism. you send harassment, claim it's criticism so you can be absolved of any wrong doing, and then when your faves are actually rightfully criticized, you claim it's harassment so you can ignore it.

yes people are going to be harsher to mishka because she has a huge fucking platform and is making insane amounts of money. of course we should criticize other authors as well and everyone knows that i have! but again there is a huge fucking imbalance here comparing some authors to someone like mishka, who very rarely actually has to take accountability, because again - she has a massive platform, swaths of fans that act as an echo chamber, and people like you running to send annoying ass messages to anyone who so much as breathes in her direction. this is the fucking problem.

at this point you are just being willfully ignorant and choosing to ignore the fact that twc is written by someone with privilege and that people have every right to criticize her for the things she's gotten wrong, especially when it comes to depictions of marginalized communities. people have constantly brought up these criticisms all throughout the fandom, people who are directly affected by the things she has done - telling me to "just message her" is literally so fucking dense. you really think no one else has ever tried that?

no one is out here trying to "cancel" mishka, literally none of us care about that. i'm not going to downplay the harm mishka has caused with the stereotypes portrayed in her depiction of M or the way she poorly handled A's asexuality as well as the countless other things that people far more qualified than me have brought up before - i don't think mishka is willfully malicious, and i don't think she's responsible for any of the annoying shit you all make other IF authors deal with. it's great that she has apologized for some of her mistakes, i do appreciate that.

as for today, she never should have had to apologize for this shit.

what was being talked about was never actually mishka herself. you all just purposefully misconstrued people's posts to make it seem like she was a victim so you could come harass us - because you all just love doing that so much.

mishka really had to take time out of her day to come on tumblr dot com to apologize to authors because of YOU. none of us asked for an apology from her, none of us expected anything from her in regards to this because it's not her fault. we simply wanted people like you to fucking leave us alone! and you can't even do that, not even after mishka asks you to. at this point i don't think it has anything to do with her or twc i think it's just a bunch of you itching to be rude and nasty as fuck to people online and you use mishka as an excuse to do that.

fucking log off and go read any other book besides twc. i'm so fucking tired of talking about those books - which i did enjoy at one point! but not anymore after all the shit you people constantly send me and the way you all act and treat others in this community, all in the name of an author who disavows your vile fucking behavior and wants nothing to do with you.

you think it's extremely disappointing for you? how about all the authors who have to grapple with the fact that there are readers who have no respect for us as people, don't give a shit about our feelings, constantly harass us and feel entitled to our work and our characters? how about mishka who has to come on here and apologize for her readers and their awful fucking behavior, and see all the messages sent on "her behalf"? literally get the fuck out of here.

#ask #anonymous

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thevindicativevordan · 3 years

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On Kong Kenan/Super-Man

It should've been him. He should've been the Superman of 5G/Future State/right now not Jon, and he should be the one getting an HBO Max series not Val. Hell he should be getting a movie!

God this dude is literally the best legacy character Superman has ever gotten, wholly his own person with his own lore and status quo while still building on the idea of "Superman". I am so pissed at DC for essentially just dropping him after his ongoing ended, what the hell Lee? You keep trying to make the Wildstorm characters happen, I need you to get my man Yang another Kenan book.

Have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about whether or not Kenan would be a worthwhile character. Yang's New 52 Superman run had been a disappointment to me overall, with only the the arc where Superman has underground wrestling matches against forgotten gods really sticking with me. Now he was introducing a brand new Superman? Didn't feel like he had "earned" that yet. But from the first issue I was hooked on this new character.

Kenan was unlike any other member of the Superfamily. He wasn't kind or sweet, he was an asshole! He was a bully! He was fantastic! Right from the start Kenan was set up to undergo a very different kind of character journey than the other members of the Superfamily. Empathy, humility, respect for people weaker than himself, these are all traits most heroes wearing the S-shield already posses by the time they first don the crest, but not Kenan.

Like all bullies he was even a bit of a coward himself at first, trying to bail on the experiment meant to give him Superman's powers right as it begins. After "saving" Lixin (the kid he bullies and steals lunch from every day) from Blue Condor he demands all the money Lixin has on him as payment. He's not courageous or selfless either at the start, Kenan is as much of an opposite of Superman as you can get short of being Bizarro. Learning the appeal of these traits formed the basis for his growth over the course of his series.

Seeing Yang bring in a lot of recognizable "Superman" elements in the series, but with a twist, was also great. Kenan is the one who bullies "Luo Lixin" rather than the traditional Clark/Lex friendship of Pre-Crisis and Birthright. Initially Kenan develops a crush on intrepid reporter for Primetime Shanghai, Laney Lan, but she dismisses him as too young and Kenan eventually ends up pursuing Avery Ho (Flash) instead. Baxi the Bat-Man of China has a similar relationship with Kenan as the traditional Superman/Batman in terms of being vitriolic best buds, however Baxi is the one who has the most respect for authority while Kenan is the rebel. Kenan is a part of the "Justice League of China" which does not meet with the approval of the already established Chinese superheroes, the Great Ten. That contrasts nicely with the good relationship the Justice Society and Justice League have, as well as seeing Yang lampshade the "Chinese copy" trope and incorporate that into his storytelling.

One of the funniest differences is how Kenan chooses to immediately reveal his identity as Super-Man to the world by taking off the compliance visor he was forced to wear, contrasting with Clark's choice to hide his identity. He was so eager to impress people that he never gave any thought to the danger he could put himself or his family in by revealing his identity until it was too late, something Clark is well aware of and has taken great pains to keep his identity secret. Was a missed opportunity for DC to have Kenan comment on Clark copying him for once when he outed himself under Bendis.

But one of the most poignant differences between Clark and Kenan is the gulf in separation between their relationship with their parents. Clark has a loving relationship with Ma and Pa Kent, trying to live up to their lessons as best he can. In contrast Kenan's mom was believed to have died in an airplane crash when he was just a child, and he never really knew her. His father was distant from him after that and the two weren't really close despite Kenan's attempts to impress him. So Kenan lacks that strong connection while still clearly loving both of them.

Pa Kent's death is one of the most tragic examples of Clark's love for his parents, and I've always been a fan of takes where Clark promises his father to fight for the powerless on Pa's deathbed. Kenan gets a similar scene at the start of his career, his dad "dies" (after being exposed as Flying General Dragon, a pro-democracy "supervillain" from the Chinese authorities perspective) and wants Kenan to promise he'll fight for Truth, Justice, and Democracy. But because Kenan's dad never really bonded with him, Kenan doesn't know what those mean, and can only promise that he never wants to see people die, something his father takes comfort in at least. In classic comic book fashion it's revealed that Dr. Omen, Kenan's "boss" and the one who gave him his powers, saved Kenan's father, because she is Kenan's mother! Kenan's relationship with his parents forms a lot of the crux of his character arc, and seeing how Yang utilizes the classic Superman concept of family kept the storytelling exciting.

Yang's brilliant exploration of the concept of "Superman" through the prism of Chinese culture was a great way to differentiate Kenan as well.

I absolutely freaking love how he tied to the concept of Qi to the S-shield in particular. Connecting the shape of the shield with the way Kenan has acquired his powers along the path of the Bagua (eight trigrams used in Taoism that represent the fundamental principles of reality), with his octagon S-shield outline representing all eight principles together, was mindblowing! So was the idea of restricting Kenan's access to his powers unless he was actually acting in a Superman manner, that tied his character growth to his power growth in an entertaining manner. There were so many characters and concepts that meshed Chinese and DC lore together, like how Emperor Super-Man was Kenan's "Doomsday", they even recreated that iconic dual kill shot! The Chinese Wonder Woman Peng Deilan, being based on the Chinese Legend of the White Snake! There was even some Korean mythology referenced with the Aqua-Man member of the JLC "Dragonson".

Yang also managed to do a Superman Blue/Superman Red story with Super-Man Yin/Super-Man Yang!

Shameful that it took me a while to realize what Gene Yang was doing but once I caught on I was touched. You can tell how much Yang loved Superman and his mythology, and how he was excited to incorporate as much from Clark as he could, while still using it in a way that was solidly Kenan's. And not just Superman's mythology, but the history and lore of the entire DC Universe. I-Ching got to be brought in, fleshed out, and used as Kenan's mentor! The "Yellow Peril" villain from Detective Comics #1, the comic DC gets its name from was brought in and revamped as I-Ching's twin brother All-Yang! Hats off to Yang for taking a racist caricature and attempting to make him into something more.

This series was a beautiful attempt by Gene Yang to build a space for Asian heroes and villains where they could be more than stereotypes, Kenan himself being a defiant mold-breaker in every regard as the complete opposite of most Asian characters in Western media (a jock, a bully, loves his dad but not on great terms with him, a powerhouse as a hero, etc). So much thought and hard work was poured into this by Yang and his team of artist collaborators.

Especially the costumes, man Kenan had so many great looks. From his starting outfit (which is my favorite Superman variant not worn by Clark himself), to the one with the Yin/Yang shield he acquired later on, to his Super-Man Yin & Super-Man Yang outfits, Kenan looked damn cool. Part of me is bummed they didn't go with the Chinese character shield they toyed around with, but I loved how Yang used the "s-shield" as a plot point, so I'm not too broken up over it.

All that great work Yang did to build that space up has been more or less forgotten sadly. It was nice to see Kenan in the DC Asian Month Celebration issue. Avery is going to be in Justice Incarnate at least (unsurprising considering she was created by Williamson). So fucking bummed that Superman Family Adventures cartoon didn't happen, they were going to have Kenan and John Henry Irons in it! Would've been a dream come true for me to see Irons in animation again, and Kenan making the jump to outside media! Maybe that would've encouraged DC to let Yang keep writing New Super-Man, or at least encouraged them to use him elsewhere instead of allowing him fall into Limbo.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what the future holds for Kenan. Jon is being pushed as Clark's replacement in the comics, with DC keeping all the other contenders such as Kon benched. Calvin is leading the Justice Incarnate team likely due to the upcoming Coates reboot that will make Clark black. Val will probably get something once Taylor leaves Jon's book or once they officially announce the HBO Max show is happening. So where does that leave Kenan, my new favorite PoC legacy hero? Currently my only hope is that Yang is working on something for DC involving him. Yang left Batman/Superman, where I was hoping to see a Baxi/Kenan team up, to go work on "exciting other opportunities" per his Twitter. So fingers crossed that there's something in the works for Kenan!

One day I hope he gets his day in the sun again.

#kenan kong #new super man #gene yang #justice league of china #superman #dc comics

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