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#like i literally don't get what the mental process is
sherlock-is-ace · 1 month
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What is it with emails? Why can't people just read?! You have the message right there, if you scroll back up when replying, you can read it again. I don't think I've ever, in my entire life, have gotten an answer to all the questions I asked in an email...
I've tried bullet points, I tried bold font, I tried separating each question into a different paragraph. I don't know what else to do.
Is it an unspoken rule I know nothing about that you have to choose only one of the questions (or sometimes none of them) to reply to? They're not options for a fun little activity, they're actual concerns I have as someone who's going to work for you!
What the actual fuck is wrong with people?! Just fucking READ!
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I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol
#''hey. whats up? you look kind of sad.. is something wrong?''   normal answer (apparently how people are supposed to talk): *looks away#remosefully and stares into the distance* ''n-no.. I'm fine. don't worry about it.''   abnormal answer (how I would respond): ''Yeah I#'m mostly fine. I was just thinking about what the future is going to be like 30 years from now and if I'll ever actually accomplish anythin#g that I want to. which makes me feel X way for XYZ reason. you see because I had a dream last night that made me think of *continues to exp#lain my exact emotional state and inner thought process completely matter of factly in exact detail for 5 more minutes*#tfw you would be a badly written character if you existed in a story lol#This is also why I struggle making conflict because most conflicts can be resolved through conversation and I personally love to have long#detailed conversations about everything. Like literally I don't have hardly any conflicts interpersonally because if something happens it's#immediately followed up with like ''hey sorry if my tone of voice sounded a bit pointed or harsh. when you were talking to me I was trying#to balance all the stuff I was taking up the stairs and also my leg hurts so I think all my mental energy was being used there and I just#didn't feel like talking. I should have just said 'wait a minute and we can discuss it inside' instead of trying to end the conversation qui#ckly in a short rude way.' ''oh yeah thats fine. I thought it was something like that. sorry for hounding you about the topic as well. i#havent eaten in a while so I think I'm just a bit prickly at the moment. we should both rest for a while and destress from the store#trip and then talk about it later. maybe after lunch?' 'sure. sounds good.' like LITERALLY. lol#it is so hard for me to write characters who are bad communicators or don't understand their own internal states or arent constantly#analyzing their own actions to understand what they do/don't feel and why and what the cause of it is and etc. etc. etc.#I just naturally want everyone to perfectly undertsand everything and communicate amazingly and have complete self awareness and#logical presence of mind gjhbj.. which like.. of course comes across as unnatyural and also those type of people rarely ever get involved in#conflict and conflict is APPARENTLY what drives stories (even though I don't like most conflicts and just want to resolve them lol) so ...aa#I mean you can get around this to some degree by the fact that (at least in my opinion) no rule for dialogue is 100%. dialogue is good if it#sounds naturally like it comes from the character who said it. It can be meandering and pointless and rambly IF that matches the character.#it can be dry and overly self aware IF your character is that way and it suits them. So like throwing in a few detached scholar types or lik#e '5000 year old cave dwelling hermit' type people is good for me and works BUT the thing is an ENTIRE cast of characters can't be that way.#at some point - even in a setting where everyone is reserved and academic (like a research camp in the wilderness full of scholars and stuff#) still SOMEBODY has to be the one who's conflict prone and doesn't pristinely understand all of their emotions and etc. etc. Because statis#tically that is still literally the majority. Kind of like my tendency to make everyone 100% aromantic and asexul when it's like.. YES.. may#be 2 or 3 or even 4 out of 10 of them could be that way. but like.. an entire group? a diverse group of 10 people from all walks of life and#EVERY single one is like that??? hgjh . you have to add realistic variety#As much as I'm pro 'have more stories where sex or romance are literally NOT involved at all in any capacity since it's already oversaturate#d in media' I'm also dedicated to realism. alas. (at least as realistic as you can get in a fantasy setting lol)
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advestager · 4 months
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A/I STAN IN THE DASH. I REPEAT A/I STAN GOT THROUGH MY FILTERS INTO THE FUCKIN DASH THIS IS NOT A DRILL
#unfollowed immediately but good FUCKIN grief will i ever be free#i don't care if you find it pretty i don't care if it saves you time it is literally built upon#abusing the work of others and fucking over their mental health or livelihoods#for the sake of commodifying what was meant as GENUINE COMMUNICATION with our fellow human beings#i'm not even talking abt like. what it might do to artists or writers#i'm talking abt the people (usually in the global south) who get fucked over by (usually usamerican or western) companies#who don't care about what it does to their mental health to process a fuckton of data that contains graphic fucking atrocities#and pay them pennies by the hour when they DO remember to pay them#it's scummy practices at EVERY level and i'm sorry if you think you're an ~anarchist~#but unless YOU are the one sifting through the bulk of the internet to make a functional prediction machine#(which isn't even SAPIENT the name is just fucking false advertisement)#you can fuck off with your 'nyah nyah you're a crybaby who can't accept progress ppl hated photography too' bullshit#(also like. i Do care abt artists and writers and translators. obviously. but that stupid argument abt how all intellectual property is#the work of satan and that's why ai is Okay Actually drives me up the fucking WALL#tell that to the brother of that artist who has soulless fucking ARSEHOLES making money#off his dead sister's art through ai)#ok. ok ok i'm shutting up now i have no chill when it comes to this subject#ai wank#theftware tag#joji.txt
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satanfemme · 2 years
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with every passing day I just grow more anti-psych tbh. like. burn the whole industry to the ground and start over lol
#don't unfollow me I've literally got brain problems myself and support mental disorder rights and etc etc etc#but I’m serious. especially lately with the recent influx of casual ableism... has anyone else noticed that too or?#would apologize for not listing examples of what I mean but honestly.... there's so many examples just Look Around You#and it gets to the point where you ask ''is it fair to label all 'dangerous' people mentally ill?'' and the answer is:#any label that is being applied to both social classes ''serial killers'' and ''trauma/abuse victims'' is a fucking meaningless label 100%#and needs to be scrapped.#idc about who is or isn't ''technically'' mentally ill. it's a label that's being applied. look at who it's applied to.#if you think ''mentally ill'' is a neutral - let alone positive - label in our society idk where u live#and if u think about the full subjectivity of the mentally ill label - as well as individual diagnoses labels - for even one second#where stigmatizing labels can be applied or taken away by authority figures to anyone for any fucking reason they want!#...I mean! u see why maybe it's all kinda just one big pseudoscience huh!#even if ur using diagnoses for the ''correct'' reasons it's still borderline meaningless too tbh#you wanna diagnose people to 1. help understand a set of disabling traits that commonly co-exist in individuals#and 2. help predict the best course of ''treatment'' for that subjective group of traits#but???? I mean. actually look at this exact diagnosis process in action#where it's all about just Guessing based on ?personal anecdote and the therapist's personal biases???????#''you're sad a lot of the time. obviously this is because your brain is fucking broken with Too-Sad-Disorder --#-- no we aren't gonna do any objective medical tests lol I'm the doctor here I can tell your brain is broken just by looking at u obv 🙄''#and that's how u get diagnosed like 100 dif drugs to fix an environmental problem. it's insane#the way therapists are always underdiagnosing or overdiagnosing or#''well XYZ disorder is very rare and usually happens in rich boys so I think you have Hysterical Bitch Disorder instead <3''#and u can't even ''well not all therapists'' this cause like. why is it that every single person I know has had experiences like this#if it were really an isolated problem it would not be so universal. nor would it be fundamental to the field's knowledge#how is it anything more than a guessing game at best?#I'm serious. anyway. I wish every psych institution a very die
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unhinged-nymph · 11 months
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#i don't know what I'm supposed to do about being too self-aware for therapy#like im sorry that i can't convince myself into a level of delusion in order to function in this society#cuz that's basically what CBT is#just talking yourself into certain mindsets until they stick#but like#i can't get past the fact that that is literally self-inflicted brain trauma?#like ok the output might be positive#aka being able to do the dishes without having a panic attack#but i cannot get to that point because im aware that im just attempting to trick myself into a state of delusion#i know it works for so many people#but i cannot just convince myself that i'm mentally healthy#i do not get dopamine or seratonin from completing tasks or taking care of myself like “normal” brains do#and forcing myself to reframe my thought process isn't going to change that#I can only distract myself so much ya know?#i'm just frustrated that the answer to my brain being the way it is is to just force it to be a different way#but that's literally TRAUMA like is anyone gonna wake the fuck up to that????#did you know that our brains are almost exactly the same brains as the early homosapiens??? aka literal cavemen?#I'm working with A CAVEMAN brain that just wants to do specific little tasks and be creative#and also fulfill a specific role in a community#now in this current society we have to fulfill ALLLL the roles#the cleaning the cooking the planning the scheduling etc etc etc#i simply do not have the brain for all of that#plus im TIRED#because i have adhd and probably have autism so im using every last drop of my energy to just survive#so I don't have energy for all the “extra” stuff#which unfortunately for me includes things like laundry and vacuuming and hobbies and seeing friends and being active and touching grass#and this expensive ass therapist is just going to try to convince me that i in fact *do* have the energy and i just need to feel my feeling#and stop telling myself i cant#im not telling myself anything#like does *anyone* fucking get it???
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indig0trolls · 1 year
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Many of the younger ccs speaking up about Wilbur's manipulation is INCREDIBLY concerning, and I don't think they'll be the last. I think it's also a big indication that it happened to Tommy too, and that he'll take a while to respond. People demanding an immediate response need to remember that he was likely a victim of it too, he just may not have been aware of it.
I mean, Wilbur's ADMITTED he relied on Tommy for his mental health when he was still a minor. That is NOT something adults should ever do and it has always been odd to me. It also makes it very hard for the minor involved to leave the friendship, since they see themselves as responsible for the older person. I don't think I need to really go into how unhealthy that sort of thing is, it isn't an uncommon occurrence and lot of people will have a better explanation than me. But it is something to keep in mind, that Tommy may feel responsible or have been groomed to excuse the behavior.
The library stream is another example of the manipulation, and I'm surprised no one is talking about it. Tommy literally talked about how uncomfortable he was at Wilbur's house. It was cold, he had no blanket, he didn't want to keep staying there, he would rather be out in public at night in a strange place. Then Wilbur just shows up out of nowhere and tells Tommy he's misremembering/being dramatic and pretty much shuts him up, gets him to stop talking shit about him. Everyone's exasperation with Tommy in the situation (being a minor alone and uncomfortable and uncertain of what to do, far from home with nowhere to go), helped Wilbur pull Tommy back in and convince him to go back to his house, especially since it was passed off as Wilbur being caring.
It was obvious to me during the stream that Tommy was telling the truth and Wilbur was the one lying, but I figured he was just being defensive because he didn't want all that online. Now we know that he had a LOT more to hide about his living situation that he didn't want being spilled, and manipulators/abusers don't tend to like it when someone goes and starts talking about the truth. They want to downplay it as much as possible, and Wilbur showing up in person to shut Tommy up and make fun of him for not wanting to stay with him, make it more lighthearted, is incredibly telling and I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone point that out.
There are so many other things I found odd throughout the years that finally have a proper explanation to them, but that's just a few examples. I'm not going to get too much further into it. Wilbur isn't who we should be focusing on, I just needed to get that out to move on from it.
I do think pointing out that Tommy has openly been manipulated is important because it may cause him to take a while to respond openly to all this while he processes. If Wilbur treated so many of his ex-friends badly it's safe to assume he did it to all of them, and we need to give everyone involved time to stop and think about the situation. A lot of people want Tommy to respond immediately, but he will need time to do that and it's only fair we give him the space to do that properly.
I also think it is so, so incredible that Shelby has given so many people the space and bravery to come forward. I believe there will be more people speaking up soon, they just need time. Support her and other victims!
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stillfruit · 1 year
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no one would love me if i was a worm
#this is a joke but also i 10000% mean this and i will die alone never having known love unlike everyone around me#it really gets more difficult to accept being alone when you get older because your aloneness is constantly contrasted w everyone else#having parterns or otherwise active social lives with very close friends while you just? barely exist as a person to others#i flat out cannot understand how people grow to be close friends let alone romantic parters like what do you need to do? how is everyone#just doing it? talking to people? opening up? being an important part of someone else's life? i don't get it#i have friends at uni i can freely talk to people there and everyone is very nice and i have closer friends i hang out with but like#if i just disappeared one day there wouldn't be that big of a change outside of maybe a small adjustment period after which everyone would#carry on as before because i'm not integral to anything#that sounds super childish but i don't mean that i'm sad that i'm not the main character in other ppls lives. just that i don't matter#and while that's of course understandable and i'm not looking to changing that it's also undeniably sad#and because i am the only person who can do something about that i'm just stuck like this i guess#i want to ask my closer friends how good am i at masking everything but 1 it would be weird and 2 i don't think they would be honest#not because they don't like me but because they are nice people#anyway lately as i'm getting older and meeting new people things are just getting exponentially more overwhelming and it physically hurts#i know i'm just suffering because i put myself up in a position to suffer but also literally what else would i do#if i have any time to stop and think about things i will actually have time to get even more mentally ill#i'm not looking to die right now i have things going on i'm doing my silly little degrees and spending time with my friends but like#it's not forever and i'm not holding out any great hopes for what comes after#i know i probably should go and talk to the student health services again but honestly i dont have the time or energy#for that kind of process and i know i'm a terrible patient in therapy so what is there even to gain from that#shit talking
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i have literally been avoiding making this post for weeks because it's humiliating and a lot to process
in case people needed a visual for my situation this is what my mother's house looks like and this is what I'm forced to live in. it's a fire hazard and affects my asthma. Also, it's anxiety inducing and sends my depression into a dark and deep place that gets harder and harder to crawl out of and I'm trying to find an escape as often as possible. Plus, we've suffered from a roach infestation for literally almost 2 decades. I've been ideating for weeks and my psychological state has been deteriorating
every attempt I've made to get back to Philly has failed because I haven't raised a lot at all. even with my temp job most of it immediately went to bills and the cost of food on the go and transportation has gutted me
I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE FOR MY SAFETY. THERE IS SO MUCH TRAUMA WITHIN THESE WALLS. I can't be the one to help my mom with her problems, she refuses it. I need so desperately to find help and be around healthier people! this is killing me!
I know the help is there! I'm showing something so raw, so damning because I am at the fucking end of my rope! I don't have a bed to sleep on! my mental state is fragile and unstable and I'm an emotional wreck. no amount of talk therapy and mindfulness can help this, I NEED TO LEAVE
cash.me/$tomi1
venmo: tominova
paypal.me/tominova
https://gofund.me/c03616ff
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urdepressedslut · 9 months
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Hello lovely,
I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)
Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky
Please. That would be nice.
Take care honey
oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰
Love Hurts
♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.
♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this
main masterlist
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+
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Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.
It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.
It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.
That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.
“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.
You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.
“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.
He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.
“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.
“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.
He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.
“Not really.” He admitted.
You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.
“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.
“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.
You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.
“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”
His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.
“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.
“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.
But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.
“Like what?”
You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?
“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.
“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.
You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.
“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”
“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.
“No, no Buck listen—”
That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.
“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”
You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.
“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.
Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.
He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.
Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.
“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”
You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.
Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.
“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.
You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.
“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.
Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.
Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.
“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.
“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.
Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.
“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.
“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”
Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.
“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.
Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.
“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.
Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.
“Bucky I—”
“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.
Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.
Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.
“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.
You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.
“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.
Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.
“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.
He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.
“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.
You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.
“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.
Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.
“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.
Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.
Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.
God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.
You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.
Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.
You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.
"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.
He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.
Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.
“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.
Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.
“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.
Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.
“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.
You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.
“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.
Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.
“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.
You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.
Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.
“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”
You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.
“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.
Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.
“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”
“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.
His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.
Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.
You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.
Yeah… just one more day.
You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.
Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.
You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.
The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.
You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.
You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.
Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.
You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.
You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.
You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.
You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.
Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.
“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.
You furrowed your brows, looking him over.
“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.
You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.
“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.
You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.
“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.
You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.
“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.
He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.
You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.
Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.
Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.
“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.
“He hates me.” You mumbled.
Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.
“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”
“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”
You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.
“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.
Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.
You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.
He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.
“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.
He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.
Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.
“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.
“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”
He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.
Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.
Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.
“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.
“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.
You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?
“Then why?”
“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.
The anger was approaching.
“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”
You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.
He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.
“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”
You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.
“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.
You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.
“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.
You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.
“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.
“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”
You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.
“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.
It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.
“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.
“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.
“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.
“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.
“I wouldn’t lie to you.”
He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.
“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.
“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.
Like he could finally breath.
“Why?” He wondered.
You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.
“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.
His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.
“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.
You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.
“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.
“Never again— I promise.”
This time, he wouldn’t break it.
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verysium · 5 months
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bllk characters and what you think would be their type or what they find attractive in a girl?🙈💗💌
i mean... 🤔 do u want the truthful answer or do u want the ideal answer? cus i don't think any of the bllk boys (maybe with the exception of otoya and aiku) would have a type, much less let it be limited to a girl. but assuming they actually have a life outside of football, here are some traits they would find attractive in a person:
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isagi would like someone he can see as a role model. throughout his life, he often finds figures that inspire him (eg. noel noa, ego, even rin if you squint hard enough). he doesn't idolize them, but he does find a way to incorporate their strengths into his playing style and actions. if you have a character trait he highly values, he will like you, and it's generally pretty easy to get him to like you. (unless of course, you're a massive dick like kaiser.)
i find that he gets along best with kurona and hiori. this is because (1) they can read his intentions well, and (2) they are quiet and level-headed. obviously, this would also apply to the romantic side of his life. isagi admires people who are similar to him but still have their own quirks and idiosyncrasies. for example, you subtly support him from behind the scenes and bring him snacks after practice and pack his bento every morning. he appreciates small gestures of kindness.
isagi is also someone very hot-headed as evidenced by his potty mouth. he likes someone who can match his energy and passion but is still calm enough to prevent him from doing anything rash. i picture him running up to you after a game, and the adrenaline causes him to pick you up from out of the stands and twirl you around in his arms.
canonically, isagi is unpopular with girls. he literally returned from valentine's day empty-handed. he tries to be nice most times, but truthfully, nothing except football really interests him. so if you can skip the small talk and start drafting football plays with him, i think he would be attracted to you. like very attracted.
unrelated but he likes someone with a pretty laugh.
bachira needs someone motherly. i feel like he never really got to be a child because everyone around him was constantly putting him down for being the "weird" kid. that's why his current personality is undeniably childish at times. it's the only way he can express the inner child he had before he grew up too fast. i think he'd like people who take care of him in a parental manner, whether that's scolding him for doing something stupid, wiping his chin cus he's a messy eater, or teaching him english every day.
i feel bachira is one of the most extroverted characters in blue lock. he genuinely thrives off his interactions with others. and for that reason, i think he'd be attracted to introverts because they differ so greatly from him. (he'd probably adopt them too.)
bachira has the most creative insults, and that's partially why he gets along so well with isagi. he's not afraid to get out of his comfort zone, nor is he afraid of pushing others to do the same. if this boy can hallucinate whole monsters, he can sure as hell rip his opponents into pieces. i feel like he'd have such a stark duality around you. he'd be beating the crap out of the other team, but the moment he sees you, he's all sunshine and rainbows and bounding over to ask you about your day and overshare about his.
ADHD. that's it. that's the quote. if you're hyperactive, then he's hyperactive, and you'll both be rocking the same boat. most people would assume he needs a grounding presence in his life, but i think post u-20 arc bachira is actually mature enough to process his own issues. now he just needs someone to let loose and have a little fun with.
rin needs a therapist. end of story. this boy is a whole case study. i don't think he's even mentally stable enough to have a romantic relationship. but if he were to date someone, i'd imagine that person is somewhat similar to isagi (and no, this is not a ship.)
isagi has something rin definitively lacks, and that is his strong, dynamic sense of self. when rin fails, he takes it heart. all solutions are linear and logical to him. if he missed a goal, it was because he didn't train hard enough. if he couldn't beat sae, it was because he just wasn't good enough.
but isagi completely changes his mindset every time he loses. (there's a reason why he's surrounded by puzzle pieces all the time.) analyzing is second nature to him. every failure is a catalyst for self-improvement, and he constantly breaks himself down in order to adapt and rebuild. rin needs someone like that in his life, someone who can teach him to be unafraid of change and embrace it instead.
rin also isn't immune to external influences. obviously, he is still learning to play football for himself. looking at the pxg version of him, he has had a significant change in mindset, but he still hasn't completely separated himself from this idea of "beating" someone in order to get to the top. according to his logic, if he surpasses both sae and isagi, he will finally be content. but the truth is, he won't be anywhere near content because his ego still isn't entirely his own. i think he would admire someone who refuses to let themselves be defined by others.
rin would also like someone who is patient because he clearly isn't. (boy was about to have a whole brain aneurysm when bachira threw that paper airplane at him.) honestly, you need to be both gentle and persistent with him. he hates it when people come on too strong, but he also finds his walls slowly crumbling when someone repeatedly goes out of their way to show that they care.
rin has a high level of emotional intelligence, as evidenced by sae's comments about his intuition. however, he can only work out a person's thought process about halfway before he starts to feel lost himself. for example, he can understand that sae dislikes losing, but he doesn't understand that it's innately tied to sae's self-worth and expectations as the eldest child/genius prodigy/role model. if he's going to romantically date anyone, then they need to be extremely skilled in the art of communication. otherwise, rin is going to easily misinterpret things.
finally, i think he'd like someone who knows how to comfort him. rin overthinks. like a lot. the cogs in his brain are constantly whirring. you need to lay him down on your lap and run your fingers through his hair and tell him that everything's going to be alright. (and it is going to be alright, because you're about to move both heaven and earth for him to make it stay that way.)
kaiser has no set type, but if he did, it would also be isagi (i'm sorry but yoichi is our harem princess for a reason.) kaiser oscillates between this superiority and inferiority complex. he even admits he was weak-hearted once.
any and all attraction is heightened for him because he gets obsessed easily. (like did you see his massive desktop displays of isagi? tell me that does not scream high-key yandere shit to you.)
however, more so than people, kaiser is fixated on ideals. he literally got a cheesy blue rose tattoo to remind himself that nothing is impossible, and he stands naked in front of his mirror every morning repeating the motto: "this is me." the self-esteem issues are glaringly obvious.
now, rather than completely shatter his entire worldview like isagi did, you need to be the one to gently (and i stress, gently) remind him that sometimes ideals aren't everything. kaiser is unpredictable, but the one thing that stays constant about him is the many masks he hides behind. everything is a role to him, and he takes center stage. but you need to convince him that none of this really matters. he doesn't need to bedazzle himself in tattoos and dye his hair and sport a mullet-rattail hybrid to be worthy of attention. sometimes his ugly bed head and dark circles are precisely the reason you love him.
second of all, you need to set firm boundaries (otherwise you'll end up like ness.) kaiser wants someone with a backbone, and he does not turn a blind eye to raw potential. victory is his end goal, and if you can bring him one step closer to that, he will stick to you. the only issue here is that you need to make sure he does not use you. and believe me, he will try. but if you draw a strong line between you two and stand your ground, he will start to see you in a new light. it can go both ways (love or hate), but either way you are someone important in his eyes.
lastly, i think he wants someone with a sense of humor. he's naturally cocky, and he needs someone to match his wit. ness already does that, but he doesn't give kaiser enough challenge. in my mind, i imagine kaiser trying to impress you with his german, but you give him a good run for his money when you already know how to speak it. things like that. he thinks it's hot when you can stand up to his level. but at the end of the day, your loyalty still lies with him, and you're not above/below him but rather the one standing beside him.
barou doesn't have a type. he is the type. you're lucky to have him.
otoya likes cute girls, even better when they have the standard fringe/bob cut look. he also lives for the height difference. teasing short girls by patting their heads is his signature move. he also likes it when girls wear lipgloss, like a sparkly candy pink shade, maybe even a spritz of perfume. he's also type to make fun of the little chubby pooch you get when you eat too much. he thinks it's adorable. personality-wise, it doesn't matter. he's going to cheat anyways. jk but on a more serious note, the person he's likely going to stay with forever is someone who can forgive his weaknesses and actually make the effort to understand him. instead of writing him off as an immature two-timer, he'd appreciate people who can actually hear him out. obviously, it doesn't excuse any of his actions, but it lets him know that you do indeed care.
aiku says he likes anyone who looks easy to break up with, but it's actually the opposite. he tends to go for older women who end up slapping him in the face. he's a womanizer, but he actually has a significant amount of character depth. generally, he's someone who goes with the flow, and nothing really upsets him. but to actually get to know him and his insecurities, you'd have to be someone really important to him. i think aiku is the type to be a serial dater before he finds someone he'll actually stick to. he's afraid of commitment, and it's for good reason. the authority figures in his life have failed him enough times to be considered unreliable. please be kind to him because the childhood trauma was not. i smell lots of emotional baggage here.
nagi likes the flame type because it has few weaknesses and helped him clear three levels in digimon. oh wait, you mean his ideal type? yeah, he does not know what that is, and he's too lazy to think of one. currently he's in the middle of fighting a custody battle for choki, and he's losing to a certain purple-haired freak. please come back later.
reo likes wine aunties lol. it's canon that he prefers older women, but i think it's just because they tend to know what they want. he likes people who have a set goal and are constantly working towards it. he himself diverts all his time and resources into football once he discovers that it is his calling.
i think he's the type to be extremely popular but not actually have any deep, long-lasting connections with any of his friends. he knows a lot of people, but he doesn't know them well. that's also why he gets so attached to nagi because nagi is the first person to really know him. in a way, i think that'd translate over to the people he loves as well. he likes people who don't beat around the bush. if they like him for who he is, they'll say it outright. he doesn't need to do any digging or engage in any form of the pretentious formalities he despises.
reo is rich, which is both a blessing and a curse. on one hand, he's all set for life, but on the other hand, it unfortunately makes many of his relationships conditional. he said it himself that people are often drawn to him because of his money. so i think he'd also like someone who isn't materialistic. he values honesty and genuine connection above all, so if you're ready to give him love regardless of his status, he'd sincerely love you too.
chigiri likes tomboys or any person with masculine characteristics. he's constantly getting mistaken for a girl at blue lock, so i think it'd just be funny to pair him up with someone who also shares the same androgynous plight. you two would bond over breaking gender norms.
he's a capricorn, and even if astrology is a pseudoscience, i still feel like the archetype fits him well. he refuses to let other people see him cry. he values his family a lot. he tends to be moody and intense at times. not to mention he is very goal-driven (excuse the pun.) based on that, i think he'd want someone calm and understanding. it's not that he needs someone else to work out his own problems for him. it's more so that he needs someone to remind him that he's still human sometimes. i feel like after his injury, he was sort of in this survival mode, constantly trying to prove himself and get back to the level he used to be at. but you need to remind him that he can relax once in a while. it's perfectly alright if he isn't as good as he used to be right now. progress comes at a different pace for everyone.
furthermore, chigiri tends to project a serious image most of the time, so i think it'd be nice if someone reminds him that he does have indeed an odd sense humor and his fair share of stupid moments, and that's totally okay too.
shidou likes anyone who doesn't like him, but this has to be done the right way. within blue lock, he's already sort of this outcast because no one understands his playing style (except maybe sae.) you need to show him that you value his eccentricities while also keeping him at an arm's length. he loves a challenge.
since he's someone unafraid to express himself, he likes to see that in another person. whether it's in your fashion sense, way of talking, body language, etc., he loves it when you act unapologetically yourself.
shidou is quite literally a dog kept on a leash, so you need to tug on that leash from time to time. he loves it when people attempt to tell him off and call him out for his bullshit. inhibition is a foreign concept to him, so he feels entertained when others try to teach it to him. he also thinks it's immensely sexy when you're angry at him. lord knows he is definitely going to slip that in mid-argument just so you can yell at him some more.
sae wouldn't even believe in the concept of a "type" in general because he thinks it's stupid to categorize people based on an ideal and fixed set of characteristics. (that's pretty rich coming from a guy who calls people who don't meet his standards lukewarm but we're just gonna ignore his hypocrisy.) either way, he has a non-traditional view of love and attraction.
i do think he likes people who are solid and reliable, and they can continuously yield quality results. he would also want someone who is as ambitious as him because i don't think he can realistically get along with someone who has no dreams or aspirations. it just doesn't fit well with his driven personality.
people who are empathetic and emotionally intuitive intrigue him since that's something he lacks. personally, i think he'd like someone who is mature (doesn't matter if they're older or younger.) if you can teach him something useful, he find you worthy of his time. and if you can read his feelings without him even telling you, he would consider you someone special.
sae needs someone who holds similar ideals to him but doesn't follow him blindly. (notice how he hated it when rin blindly relied on his assists when they were children.) he want someone who is independent because he is also highly independent. however, the difference is that they also actively make room in their life for other people, and that is something sae doesn't know how to do.
there's a point of growth somewhere in your relationship where you call out his mistakes and set him on the right path. sae struggles a lot with his definition of victory, and he finds it difficult to curb his greed. his ego is what sets him apart from everyone else, so failure is not an option in his books. unfortunately, this is also why he loses some of his original spark/motivation. you need to be someone who can tell him that failure is not a weakness, and sometimes the journey matters more than the ending.
also this poor boy needs someone to teach him social cues because i don’t really think he knows how to read the room. he’d probably unintentionally insult a chairman or investor, and you’ll be trailing after him with a sheepish smile as you bow and apologize for him. (i feel bad for his manager.)
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frostyreturns · 2 months
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A while back I argued tik tok was a hypnosis and brainwashing app because its function hits all the major components of hypnotizing someone: distracting audio/visual, music, repetition, eroticism etc. A lot of people think of being hypnotized only as falling into a deep sleeplike trance but there's also low level hypnotism where you may not even notice a shift in consciousness. The idea is that all of these things in conjunction relax your mind, puts your criticial thinking on pause and increases your susceptibility to accepting a desired message.
Well now I learned that tik tok "sludge" videos are a thing where they play multiple videos all at once, which also demonstrates the hypnosis rule of 7. 7 points of stimulus overloads the brain and reduces focus, because nobody can keep focus on 7 things at once your brain just kind of unfocuses making it more likely that a subliminal suggestion can take root. So if you have 2 or 4 videos playing all at once you have 3 different audio outputs, 5 different visuals it forces your brain to tune some things out and not process it with your higher cognitive functions. Hypnosis is all about making you think that something you think was your own thought when really it was given to you without your knowing. This doesn't mean these videos have to contain some hidden message...the videos themselves are just a way to soften you up mentally for videos and messages that follow...which also get curated to you.
What are the messages people are getting. I've heard for example people who were noticing they were getting fed trans topics on tiktok and were at first like...wtf this isn't for me...who then became trans. I don't use the app so I don't know what kind of propaganda people get served a lot but I'm sure its not good. Makes me wonder how much of a factor it was in peoples behaviour during covid. People were absolutely not in their right minds.
And once again even the name tik tok evokes the concept of a metronome which is a common visual and auditory tool used in hypnosis. Your phones are literally brainwashing you. Do not let your kids use tik tok.
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hannieehaee · 14 days
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18+ / mdi
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content: coworker!jk, sub!jk, afab reader, confession, reader is mean to jk, plot moves super fast to get to the smut lol, smut, handjob, oral (f receiving) penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 2570
a/n: this is loosely based off an audio i heard once but i cant remember where</3 also not 100% proofread
masterlist
"yeah, you should probably ask jungkook for help with that, he's actually really good with those forms. he has the whole process memorized," jungkook heard namjoon say from his desk, though he was unable to spot who he was talking to.
he decided to not question it, continuing his work while mentally preparing himself to help any coworker who might stop by to see him.
however, his work was promptly interrupted when he heard a chair pull back and steps head in the direction of his cubicle, looking up to find you and namjoon standing over him, a smile on joon's face and an annoyed frown on yours.
jungkook knew that frown was reserved specifically for him, as he knew you were quite nice to literally everyone else in the office. he seemed to be the one exception, somehow undeserving of your politeness no matter what he did.
"hey, kook. would you mind helping y/n here with these forms? it should only take you about twenty minutes. i know it's staying a bit later than you usually do, but i have a date and i really have to go if i wanna beat tra-"
"it's fine, joon, don't worry," jungkook interrupted. as much as he didn't want to stay late with you, noticing that everyone else had already left, he also could not find it in himself to say no to joon – or to you, for that matter.
as embarrassing as it was to admit, jungkook had a huge crush on you. sure, you were always mean and short in words with him, but he couldnt help himself. he had come to realize that your personality was sweet and bubbly, despite never showing that side of yourself to him. even if you hated him for some reason, he liked to spend time with you whenever possible, hoping that maybe you'd change your mind about your negative feelings for him.
"okay, great. thank you so much, jungkook," he then turned to you, "i'm leaving you in great hands, i promise," he declared before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you, taking his leave and leaving the two of you alone in the empty office.
turning his chair to look at you, jungkook offered you an awkward smile as he got up, grabbing a few papers from a drawer nearby in order to help you figure out the form you needed assistance with.
you seemed annoyed despite his helpful disposition, but jungkook chose to ignore it, simply walking over to an empty table nearby and gesturing for you to follow him there. he chose not to take a seat, knowing this would probably be quick and also feeling slightly awkward at sharing a table with you for some reason. he'd rather keep his eyes down and on the paperwork.
"okay, uh, what is it that you're confused about?", he finally asked.
"nothing, jungkook. i didn't realize namjoon would drag you into this if i asked him for help. you don't have to act like you want to help me, you can just go home," you said in a deadpan tone.
"'act like i want to help you'? what do you mean?" he cocked his head to the side, "i really don't mind helping you."
"please, jungkook, you look like you'd rather be anywhere but here," you shot at him, completely disregarding the paperwork he'd pulled out.
"that's not true! i'd love to help you. you could've asked me and i would've helped you out with no issue," he argued back, suddenly feeling quite passionate about the subject.
"i don't believe you."
it was hard for jungkook to not grow frustrated at how short and unreasonable you were in your words. how was he even supposed to help you when you clearly despised his presence? all he wanted to do was build some sort of bridge with you. why were you so pleasant with namjoon but willing to pick a fight with him just after mere minutes together?
"what do you want me to say? i want to help you. id help you with anything you ask, but you're always either ignoring me or avoiding me while you're nice to everyone else. i don't understand what i did wrong. did- did i do something to you? do you just not like me?", jungkook finally let out, growing more emotional by the word.
"i don't like it! i don't like how you act with others. you're- you're too nice!", you almost shouted back, inexplicably frustrated.
"i- what? i'm too nice? what does that even mean? i-"
"i don't like that you're nice to everyone else! i hate it! i've seen the way you flirt with the receptionists and hang around the coffee cart with lia. you're so nice to everyone else but can't even speak a word to me. it's so annoying – you're so annoying. you know what, i'm just gonna go. i'll ask joon for help tomorrow morning," you ranted, red in the face and out of breath as you turned around and marched away.
jungkook almost couldn't function after your sudden outburst, but luckily got a hold of his senses before you could walk away, surprising both you and himself when his arm went out to grab onto yours and stop you.
"wait," he breathed out, "it-it's not at all how you think. flirt? i- i don't mean to make it seem that way. i- i've never flirted with anyone at the office. i'm just trying to be nice, and- and i've never meant to make you feel like i'm only not nice to you. you just ... you intimidate me so much," he winced at his own admission, "i'm sorry, i ... you've always been so cold with me, i just assumed you hated me and tried to stay out of your way. i don't hate you. at all. it's not like that at all," he rambled, "i like you. so much. you have no idea, i- wait, wait no, i- fuck."
his eyes widened at his accidental confession, making him stop in his tracks and let go of your arm, far too embarrassed to even make eye contact with you anymore. he couldn't even gauge your reaction to his words before shutting his eyes close and scrunching up his nose in embarrassment, looking down at your feet rather than yourself.
"i- i didn't mean that. no, i did, but, i just- fuck, it wasn't-"
"jungkook, stop," you instructed, stepping towards him decidedly. but jungkook wouldnt budge. he stayed still and avoided your eyes as much as he could, making even a further embarrassment of himself.
suddenly his head was lifted up by a pair of arms that belonged to you, forcing his head to turn in your direction and being pulled towards you, his surprised yelp interrupted halfway as your lips locked with his own.
he moaned in surprise, unable to process what was going on as his lips attempted to follow your own. you led the kiss, licking into his mouth and molding his lips however you so wished. there were no complaints from jungkook, just delighted confusion. he couldn't bring himself to question you when kissing you just felt so damn good.
but his brain caught up to him soon enough, making him pull away with a gasp, "wait, i- does this mean-" but he was interrupted with another wet kiss, "d-do you like me ba-" and another, and another, and another one on top of that.
the two of you made out for a few moments before you finally pulled away from him, this time having him pathetically follow your lips as if in a trance.
"i do, jungkook. i like you. i ... i guess i was just jealous of all the attention you gave everyone else that i didnt realize it might've been my fault," you revealed sheepishly, though your hands were still tightly holding onto his hair.
"fuck, really? you like me back? i- shit," he couldnt help the embarrassingly big grin that took over his face, "can i ... can i kiss you again?", he murmured after calming himself down.
you nodded and leaned in again, immediately sticking your tongue in his mouth and pulling him towards you. after making out for a few short moments, you walked yourself back onto a table nearby, sitting yourself on it as jungkook stayed standing between your legs. wrapping your legs around him, you brought him even closer to you, the kiss getting steamier.
"kookie ..." you breathed out, kissing your way to his ear, "will you be good for me and get on your knees?", you murmured with a sensual lick to his lobe.
shuddering, he nodded, kneeling and allowing you to trap him between your lace-clad legs. his hands were not shy in feeling up your legs, adoring the lace tights adorning your gorgeous legs.
"can i rip them off? need to feel your legs ... fuck, ive thought about kissing up your thighs so many times ... so pretty n soft. please?", he pleaded as his pretty eyes stared up at you.
nodding, you gave him the green light, gasping when he easily ripped them apart and brought you closet to him, pushing up your skirt so he could play with you as he pleased. his lips trailed up and down the plush skin of your thighs, suckling a few love bites onto the skin before dragging his tongue over them as an apology. he dragged his nose along the length of your thighs, seemingly catching scent of your essence as he moaned. soon enough, the pretty spot between your legs drew him in far too much, causing him to dig his face between your thighs snd breathe you in, groaning in ecstasy when your thighs wrapped around his head, trapping him.
"oh, god, please keep doing that," he groaned into you, "wrap your thighs around me ... wanna make you feel so good while you grind on my face ...", those were his last words before pushing your panties to the side and licking into your cunt.
he moaned and cried like a depraved man against you, begging you to grind against him and suffocate him between your legs. his hands pulled you closer by your hips, encouraging the canting of your hips against his face. his nose dug into your clit, nuzzling it while his tongue worked itself into your pussy.
jungkook had you on cloud nine with his pathetic desperation, letting out never-ending pleas into your cunt and somehow still begging for more.
"taste so fucking good, oh fuck- it's so good. prettiest fucking pussy," he cried when your hands dug particularly hard into his hair, pushing him in and allowing him no escape.
"kookie, oh, kookie! i'm almost there, please don't stop, i- i'm right there, baby," you cried out as he sped up his movements, absolutely desperate for your orgasm.
he proudly claimed your orgasm on his tongue, hesitant in pulling away from your cunt as he would've stayed there forever if given the option. but this thought was overthrown the moment you pulled him up by the hair and stuck your tongue in his mouth to taste yourself, once again initiating a series of sensual kisses that had him feeling dizzy.
at some point your hand came out to play with his cock, pulling it out from underneath the dress pants you had seemingly unbuttoned while he was too distracted kissing you. he groaned into your lips as you slowly jerked him, pulling away to kiss his neck and whisper all the dirty things you wanted to do with him.
the mere suggestion of getting to fuck you caught his attention, making him plea at you to stop jerking him so he could bend you over the table and have his way with you.
"are you sure, kookie? don't you want my hand? my tongue?", you tormented him as your hand sped up.
"n-no ... cunt- need your cunt so fucking bad. please, just- just turn around, baby," he begged pathetically, helping you flip over when you finally budged.
he ripped off his shirt snd threw off his shoes and pants while you bent over, wiggling your ass at him to provoke him – which you very much did. you were still wearing a shirt and your skirt, but jungkook would worry about seeing your tits some other day. for now all he cared about was slipping off your pretty skirt snd uncovering your even prettier pussy.
lowering your skirt and panties low enough to reveal your ass, jungkook groaned at the view – so pretty and bent over just for him. the thought of your gorgeous body ready for him to use almost made him short-circuit, he knew he'd burst almost immediately after entering you, but luckily an experimental drag of his fingers against your folds revealed to him that you were also at the brink.
"can't believe i get to fuck you, baby. wanted this since the moment i saw you," he breathed out before beginning to ease into you, "oh ... fuck, shit, it's so warm ... so wet and warm, oh, baby ..." all ability to form a coherent sentence left him after that. his hips quickly took over, slamming into you while you whined his name in the prettiest cries he had ever heard. his eyes rolled back in absolute pleasure, hand uncontrollably digging in place to play with your clit, only causing you to tighten up even more.
"kookie ... you're so fucking big ... fuck, fill me up so good," you swore, pushing your hips back into his own.
"i know, pretty, i know," he managed to breath out just when his orgasm began to approach, "i'm gonna cum, baby, fuck. please tell me you're there too ... need you to cum with me, please?", he pleaded as his hips lost all finesse, now humping wildly into you.
"y-yes! i'm there, fuck- just- just cum with me, kookie, i- fuck!"
your own orgasm was all he needed to finally let go, continuing to fuck into you throughout his orgasm, emptying himself inside you with high put he'd whines of your name. the empty office was filled with nasty noises of skin slapping and senseless cries coming from one another.
once finished, he let himself fall into you a bit, though still not putting his full weight on you. with a wince, he eventually pulled off and groaned at the liquids leaking from his dick. he went to grab a few paper towels from nearby to clean you up a bit before helping you sit up and even sneaking in a peck to your cheek in the process.
"does this mean you like me ...?", he asked regardless of how redundant the question seemed.
"jungkook, you idiot," you chuckled, "yes, i like you."
"thank god," he mumbled under his breath, "i, uh, do you think maybe you'd wanna go home with me tonight? or is that too much too soon? sorry, i'm getting ahead of myself, hah-"
"kook, stop. i'd love to go home with you," you smiled at him, pulling him in for yet another kiss, falling in a makeout session again.
the two of you kissed softly for a while, maybe too softly for what you'd just done together in your workplace. but jungkook didn't think of that at the moment. all that he cared about was taking you home and repeating it all over again.
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violetrainbow412-blog · 4 months
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Hi, I was wondering if you still accept requests because I read your Wonka fics and find them very cute and wanted to ask if I could also make a request. And that is that the reader has sleep problems and asks Willy finally what she can do about it as soon as she no longer knows what to do and he makes a certain chocolate for her so that she can sleep better again? (Something fluffy please) Thank you!
A sweet remedy [W. W]
Willy Wonka x fem!reader
word count: 1.2k
note: I'm sorry it took me so long, these weeks I was covering a full shift and with the holidays I barely had time to do anything, but I'm back now! And I hope you like it
taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos [Timothée masterlist]
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While you were scrubbing one of the most difficult sheets you had had to wash during the day you felt your eyelids begin to close, at first little by little, and at times completely. It wasn't until you fell against the tub full of soapy water and stood up with a scream at the temperature that you realized you really had a problem.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Piper asked, immediately approaching while you struggled to keep the detergent from getting into your eyes and mouth.
“Yes, everything is fine,” you lied. Everyone had already gathered around you and shame was taking over your body. “I just… I slipped"
“Here's a towel,” said a familiar and loving voice, which belonged to your recent but quite dear friend.
Willy approached you and wrapped the towel around you, carefully, while he helped you clean your face. Once you could see more clearly you noticed that everyone seemed worried and you honestly didn't blame them. Your face reflected the lack of sleep you had had during the last few weeks, coming from a previously unknown cause. The only thing you knew was that the insomnia was literally killing you.
"Are you sure you are alright?" now Abacus murmured. You nodded again and smiled at everyone, imploring them to let the moment pass.
When you were dry enough you continued with your tasks, but you could feel your friend's dissatisfied gaze from across the room, as if he were the only one unwilling to ignore your recent strange behaviors: you were distracted, you seemed to leave mentally out of nowhere and this wasn't the first incident where you practically passed out on a dangerous surface.
At some point you had to carry a cart of sheets to the drying area and that's when he hurried to follow you.
“Let me help you,” he exclaimed, smiling in your direction as he held the cart you were pushing.
“I'm fine,” you said, to reassure him, because you knew that he had approached you to monitor your mood.
One by one you took out the sheets and began to put them in the dryer. The process would take a while, so you guys had a few minutes to chat, after all you knew the others wouldn't mind.
You leaned against the old machine, feeling the vibration on your lower back, and he did the same. The distance was so close that your hip was touching his, turning any conversation into a private one.
“Are you sick or something? We can get a doctor, if so”
“I'm sick, but I don't think it's that kind of illness,” you sighed.
"What do you mean?"
It was useless to keep hiding things from him, and who knows... that ingenious mind might even find a solution.
“I can't sleep, Willy. I don't understand why I can't, but I've had problems with that. I think it's called insomnia, or something like that” you began to explain, crossing your arms as if you wanted to protect yourself from the vulnerability “And it's horrible and it makes me feel stupid. I mean, who can't do something as easy as sleep?”
“Sometimes I don't get it either. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Yes, I know, but…” you started moving your hands in the air, trying to find the right words to express yourself, “it's different. And I don't know what to do anymore, I can't sleep during the day because we work and I honestly feel like I'm going to collapse at any moment.”
Even though he was listening to you attentively, he didn't know how to respond for a moment.
“Do you think I look very bad?” you continued “You know, like… physically?”
“No, I think you look beautiful,” he replied, without thinking too much about it. “Maybe there's a little more pigmentation here…” his thumb slid under your eyes, in the place of your dark circles, and you smiled involuntarily “but nothing to worry about.”
You were reassured that you were still pretty in your friend's eyes, but you knew that the worried look on his face wasn’t in vain. You had to do something about it.
“Perhaps among your curiosities you have some chocolate that helps me sleep?” you joked, speaking only to the air.
But on his face you saw that expression of machination that suddenly emerged, almost as if a light bulb appeared over his head at the idea that was going through his head.
"Not yet. But it's an excellent idea."
“Oh, I wasn't serious…”
“But it’s brilliant,” he interrupted you. The dryer stopped and you knew the drying cycle was over, as should your conversation “Give me some time and you can sleep like a baby, I promise.”
That was perhaps his favorite thing: making promises. And of course, comply with them.
You wanted to answer him something, but a yawn preceded you and the man simply laughed at the irony of the moment.
“I guess I can't refuse now, can I?”
“As soon as I manage to do it, you will have it in your hands,” he said, excited.
With that the talk ended and you began to hang the clothes on a rope, returning to the day's work, but now with a better spirit in the hope that Willy could help you get what you wanted so much.
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"Special delivery?" someone knocked on your door. You were like every night, just curled up in bed to hope for the best.
Willy was holding a small purple box with a red bow, which judging by the excited smile your friend had, you assumed was the remedy for your illness.
"It will work?"
“I hope so,” he said, entering your room to sit next to you on the mattress. “I'll stay here for a few minutes to make sure you can sleep and then I'll leave, is that okay with you?”
“It's excellent,” you answered nervously, while you took the candy that your friend had made especially for you. It was shaped like a small moon and glowed inside. “What is it made of?”
“I'll tell you in the morning, when you wake up.”
His feet moved slightly, showing his excitement, and that seemed to rub off on you. Glory seemed so close and you could reach it with a couple of bites, but before that you leaned down to wrap the boy in a hug.
“Thank you for trying this for me. I know it will work, but… even if it doesn't work, you know I appreciate it.”
“Don't say that, it will work” he replied, with complete confidence.
Without further ado, you put the candy in your mouth and tasted it. You couldn't identify any ingredients, but it tasted delicious and cozy, somehow. Although you wanted to compliment your friend's work just a second after the candy had melted on your tongue, you were already feeling how everything around you was becoming heavy, as if the accumulated fatigue had hit you suddenly.
You were already unconscious when Willy trapped you in his arms and laid you carefully on the bed, completely happy to see that his creation had had such an immediate effect. As a farewell, he covered you with a sheet and kissed your forehead, going to his room to recreate an entire jar of chocolates that would ensure your rest for long enough.
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heetos · 4 months
Text
𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲?
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▌│█║▌║▌║▌│█║
pairing - best friend!sunghoon x afab!reader
wc - 1.4k
synopsis - going out to parties with your mate sunghoon meant you're gonna have the time of your life, but you didn't expect him to show up in the shirt you'd bought for him to be enough to flip your switch.
tw - themes of jealousy, making out, oral (m. receiving), curses, nicknames, lmk if i missed something !
a/n - hiiie ! first work im kinda nervous eekkk. i feel like there's a lot more story than smut idk ? it's literally 4 am i haven't proofread cause im getting dizzy lmaoo. but hopefully you guys like it ! do lmk plss <3
𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭
denying you're in love with your best friend has almost become habitual to you. you don't want to ruin your friendship with him, really, but you just can't help it when he wears those sleeveless tops with his arms out. his fashion sense always stood out to you, the way every piece of clothing would wrap around his perfect body made your attraction towards him get deeper. he wasn't just a hot piece of ass, he was genuinely the sweetest guy someone could ask for. you thought you could control your obsession, but when those girls would eye your guy, you'd lose it.
going to parties was always fun for you guys, you guys would talk until some girls huddle around him and make you blurred. you'd get wasted out of your mind, and he'd drive you home. that's your idea of fun. what you never noticed was sunghoon always pushing all the girls aside to find you in the crowd.
tonight would be no different, you'd have to mask your flustered face around him once again, or so you thought.
you arrived at the party a few minutes before him. you sat at near the kitchen talking to your other friends when you felt his presence next to you. you turn your head around, only to see him wearing the shirt you had bought for him. your mouth went agape seeing him effortlessly look stunning under the flashing lights.
"something wrong?" he asks, running his hand through his hair.
"no... uh- uhm- nothing's wrong you look nice i guess.." you look away to the side mentally slapping yourself for losing it.
"you guess? i literally wore this shirt for you im gonna kill you" his eyes trail your face as he lightly slaps your shoulder.
"yeah park i get it, i said you look nice, be happy" you barely let out, processing him wearing it for you.
a group of girls walk upto him, as always, you knew the drill, your time with him was over now.
"hey sunghoon! i love your shirt, it's so sexy! where did you get it?" they blush and laugh right in his face.
sunghoon unexpectedly wraps his arm around your waist. "y/n got it for me. it looks so good right?"
the smile on those girls disappear as they compliment him and drift into the crowd.
you on the other hand, prayed to god he couldn't hear your heartbeat. such a sudden action made you lose your mind. you turn towards him staring at him laugh at the crowd. "what was that for?" you poke him slightly.
"ouch man, excuse me for showing me what my girl got me" he smirks as he looks into your lovesick eyes.
"stop that shut up!" you nudge his shoulder getting up to take a drink.
he instantly puts his arm around your wrist, pulling you back down. "no getting drunk tonight, im not carrying your ass to your 3rd floor room again bro"
you tsked and landed on his lap, eyes widening as your dress rides up higher.
you got upto move but his hands secured around your waist. "isn't this fun?" he whispers in your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine.
you slap his hand away and get up, now matter now badly you wanted to grind on his lap.
he watches you get up with a pout on his lips. "damn you kinda made me hard there" he smirks and runs his fingers through his hair.
heat rushes to your face at that, mind processing all this is real. "huh? made you hard?"
"yeah, well, you make me go crazy all the time. remember that the guy who disappeared right after he asked for your number?"
"holy shit no way" you gasp processing he actually did that.
"like you're driving me crazy right now" his hand trails up your thigh, your breath hitching at his delicate hands touching your sensitive thighs.
you look up and stare into his eyes, the most beautiful eyes you've seen. you gulp, cupping his face pressing a deep kiss to his soft lips.
sunghoon's eyes widen in suprise as he feels your lip gloss coating his lips. his heart races as he kisses you back eagerly.
actions speak more than words seems to have come to life as you both pour your feelings into the kiss.
as the kiss heats up, his hand grips your waist while his tongue prods at your lower lip. you quickly open your lips allowing him to suck your tongue.
your cherry lipstick and lipgloss coat his skin as he puts his hand on yours and trails it to his crotch. you gasp into his mouth feeling him grow under your palm.
he smiles into the kiss, feeling you gasp as you make contact with his clothed dick. he groans softly into your mouth as he pulls away watching you fix your lipstick. "you're so fucking beautiful"
you smile at him admiring his face full of smudges and kisses from your lips. you get up as he watches your tiny hand pull him into a room.
as you guys enter the room, sunghoon locks the door as you quickly tip toe and latch your lips onto his, not wanting to break the kiss for a moment. he smiles into the kiss as you both topple onto the bed.
after making out once again, you pull off breathless, as you watch him caresses your thighs.
"can i blow you?" you let out watching him turn into a mess.
sunghoon's breath hitches as he looks into your eyes watching you get onto your knees under him. "fuck yes" groans, his hand finding your hair. gently guiding your head between his legs.
you pull down his pants, teasingly palming him over his boxers. watching his annoyed look, you pull his boxers down and lick a bold stripe on his tip.
"ah..fuck" sunghoon bites his lip, his hips jerking up off the bed feeling your warm mouth come in contact with his dick.
you spit on his cock as precum dribbles out of his silt, you've wanted to do this for so long, and now you know he wanted it too. you take your hands and wrap it around his cock as you spread his precum all over his dick. feeling him shudder, you take his tip inside your mouth as you keep licking his silt. you fully take him in your mouth as you begin to bob your head up and down.
"fuck baby, that feels so good" sunghoon pants, gripping your hair tightly. "keep doing that.. f-fuck you're so good" he gasps as he feels you take him deeper, his hips bucking up against your mouth.
looking at his reactions, you moan around his length sending a deep vibration to his throbbing cock.
"fuck !" sunghoon moans loudly, his hips thrusting forward as he feels you vibrate his dick and take it him in your throat. his heart pounds in his chest as he feels the pleasure build up inside him. 'k-keep.. fucking. doing that.." he moans at you looking up at him with doe eyes.
you hollow your cheeks, bobbing your head faster as you feel his grip on your hair tighten. wanting to see him cum, you trail your hands down to play with his sensitive balls.
"oh fuck fuck fuck fuck !" he groans, his moments becoming jerky as he loses control.
you pull off feeling him become a mess under you and put his balls in your mouth. you begin to suck them as you stroke him faster.
"fuck !" sunghoon cries out, his fingers digging into the sheets. he gasps, his hips jerking forward as he feels you suck on his balls. "ffuck.. 'm so close.." he says as he feels his orgasm building up inside him.
you speed up your actions, sucking him messily, feeling his balls tighten in your mouth, his tip turns deep red aching to climax.
"ah...! oh god ! " he moans feeling his body tense up in the pleasure. 'fuck...just like that... don't stop!. he grips your hair tightly urging you to not stop. " 'm g-gonna cum..fuckkk !"
with a final cry of your name, sunghoon moans loudly as his cock throbs and releases ropes of hot cum on your tits. he groans, body shuddering with the intense pleasure.
"fuck.." he breathes out, "that was amazing..." his chest heaving as he watches you trying to catch your breath. "you okay love?, you're really fucking good at this"
"you're so damn hot like that" you say as you smile at him, happy to have him this way for you. you get up and press a small kiss to his lips.
"so beautiful babe" he admires your chest spoiled with his cum. "thank you for finally breaking your shell"
"hey! shut up or no head now" you pout at him before decorating his face with kisses again.
he smirks at your actions. "you must be soaking rn"
"you think park?"
end.
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bambisnc · 2 months
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lie with you [or, how riize comforts you when you're crying bc of a nightmare]
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pairing : ot7 x reader! genre : implied hurt n subsequent comfort cw/tw : hugging + kisses + food mention + possibly swearing? wc : idk ,,
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shotaro ,. ! - im a firm believer of taro heavy sleeper agenda - bro will be out like a log, no fire alarm is waking him up anytime soon D: - but! when you wake up because of the nightmare and end up moving a bit away from him as you process it - he knows. - he just somehow subconsciously knows that there's distance between you and just reaches out for your warmth and traps you in a big hug – all while he's snoring softly (in the CUTEST way ever) - ends up comforting you without even being conscious he's just skilled tm like that yk??
eunseok ,. ! - light sleeper!!!!! his happy burritos and cream pasta dreams stop the literal second he hears the slightest whimper out of you - mentally goes "who tf hurt my darling s/o." - when he finds out it's you crying bc of a nightmare i'm sorry but he might tease you (later ofc, when you've had enough time to heal from it bbg dw) - but rn he offers distractions in the form of bingeing cutesy animes (imagine you watch horimiya's toffee scene w him or any other anime romance cliche and he goes would u like me to do that to you. i'd pass awa y)
sungchan ,. ! - you may have to wake him up depending on how tired he is :/ - but as soon as he finds out, wraps you up in the comfiest + warmest clothes he can find and throws you over his shoulder like a potato sack/holds you in a princess carry -> depends entirely on which you prefer he can do both 💪 - takes you straight to his car (we're js gonna pretend he can drive for the sake of the hc my extensive research i.e. 15 mins on reddit led me nowhere ;-;) it's time for a midnight drive! - puts on you guys' shared playlist and takes you to a grocery store snack run followed by going to an open-ish place so you can watch the stars tgt :(
wonbin ,. ! - i think his waking up abilities are honed purely due to being w you (yk like what if you need him to hug you at like 3 am. and he's too busy passed out (dreaming of you) then what.) - feels you trembling and is lowkey upset that you didn't wake him up when you needed him :( - he gets that you might not want to face him tho, so simply presses his chest against your back and places soft kisses on your neck. probably drops in a couple "'m here for you love" "it'll be okay" "i love you so so much yk that right?" he's versatile w his sweet nothings like that :( <3
seunghan ,. ! - this guy scares me ngl /j - he probably knows you're having a nightmare before you know you're having a nightmare - wakes you up by shaking you gently, comforts you with many many many hugs as you're waking up - kisses your tears away .. (i'm so weak for him) - lays your head down on his lap and lets you vent to him just listening to you, dude's gentle presence alone is enough to calm you down - BUT ALSO. imagining him drawing you a warm bath and you ending up coercing him into wearing cutesy animal face masks w you :(((
sohee ,. ! - guy who must be facing his s/o while sleeping !! gets to know and wakes up immediately when you start crying - clings to you like a koala that's it that's the hc. has his head buried in your neck, hands tied so so tightly around your waist which greatly help to ground you - also probably cracks a couple of really cringey jokes something along the lines of "i'll be your silver knight, my princess" but says it w the softest, sweetest expression and in the sincerest, honey-like tone that you can't help but melting completely :( - when he feels you've calmed down enough prob also initiates a tickle fight sorry i don't make the rules acc to him you need to laugh after a bout of crying okay??
anton ,. ! - guy who must be facing his s/o while sleeping (2) except his ass is not waking up unless you physically shake him awake - you'd probably do that though bc what better way to comfort you from a nightmare than your half-asleep bf's soothing voice? - bro is probably so out of it that he just very eloquently goes "wh huh wha" or something of that sort - when he's coherent enough (not really) he would sort of kind of roll up on top of you forgetting his 6'1 stature - but on the positive side his weight over you is a lot like a really comfy blanket (that can kiss your forehead w the utmost gentleness) - if you ask nicely he'll even sing you a lil lullaby to help you get back to sleep <3
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notes : THIS WAS FUN !! ppl who dont know my current bias try guessing based on this 🤭 + [m.list]
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