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negrowhat · 4 months

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what are your top ten fav bl's of all time?

Hey Anon! I had to take some time to think about this. It's hard for me to choose things like this! You're really putting me on the spot lol. Here we go tho...I might cheat a little.

To My Star. Both 1 and 2. I love Seo Joon's and Ji Woo's story. I love their relationship dynamic. I loved how protective they were of each other. Both Ji Woo and Seo Joon are complex characters with layers that you can really bite into and analyze many ways. I know a lot of people were not fans of s2 but that was one series where I truly ate up the angst. Ji Woo is a hard character to understand unless you really take the time to watch the series and focus on his behaviors. You'll never, ever catch me talking bad about TMS.

Gameboys the Series. Both the seasons and the movie. CaiReel have such a modern and relatable love story. I think it being a series about finding relationships in the middle of a global pandemic while we were ALL sharing the same plight really stood out. I felt like I made new friends while watching that series. Also for s1 to be shot completely on an iPhone and for most of the actors to not actually be filming their scenes at the same time, I was BLOWN away by the quality AND chemistry. That series made me SOB and that is also something I consider impressive. If it can make me cry then it's certified gold.

Utsukushii Kare. Both seasons and the movie. This is another series with complex main characters. Hira deals with his general uninterest in damn near everything EXCEPT Kiyoi and photography. And Kiyoi deals with his need for attention even if he generally doesn't like people because they always disappoint him. It's interesting to see how they handle their seemingly unbalanced relationship. Hira is willing to give Kiyoi all the love he requires and not get close (which is normally what Kiyoi wants) and Kiyoi learns that with Hira he wants a real true love and relationship and that's quite a task when the man you love doesn't value himself. It's just interesting seeing the growth between them.

Color Rush S1. I love the way they tackle the soulmates trope, and explore the darker side to the obsession that could happen once you find your perfect match ESPECIALLY when that match can help you see a full picture. Yeon Woo struggles with a myriad of thoughts and fears as he does his best not to get close to Yoo Han even though Yoo Han is serving up himself on a silver platter with tantalizing promises of helping him learn the colors he craves to see. Yeon Woo becomes obsessed, but little does he know that Yoo Han is also obsessed because Yeon Woo also helps Yoo Han see a clearer picture. But maybe that obsession is really just them falling in love and not knowing what to call it.

Moonlight Chicken. Messy and relatable to a person like me who is smack dab in the middle of the age groups involved. This series really showcases how messy romances can be. It shows how hard it can be to close the door to a chapter you thought would end happily. This series shows how hard it can be to move on when a normally open door shuts in your face suddenly and forever. It shows how a chapter that starts off terrible can lead you into the most thrilling moment of your life. It shows that the last chapter you finished might have you TERRIFIED to move on to the next one. Stuck. This was a series I found difficult to dislike any of the characters even if they were being terrible. Emotions were high and reactions were warranted. This was a series where I felt like people were allowed to feel the way they were feeling.

We Best Love. Yes, both seasons. Shu Yi and Shi De had such an up and down ship. Shi De went through such a roundabout way to get close to Shu Yi and I really enjoyed watching them become friends. I enjoyed watching Shu Yi come to realize he was in love. I wanted to beat Shi De up in s2 for ghosting Shu Yi and I was enjoying watching Shu Yi get his lick back, but really he was just looking for answers so he can decide if he was stupid for wanting to forgive Shi De the moment he saw him again. It's another fun and messy series.

Lovely Writer. I LOVE Gene ok. He really made me love the series because he was such a bomb ass character. I also found Nubsib's psycho/stalkerish tendencies quite entertaining because he was so polite about it. I love that the series took stabs at all the things wrong with the BL community while simultaneously having the main character be an actor in one of the most toxic fake BLs I've ever seen. Just meta on top of meta. Satire in the form of a trendy BL within a BL.

History 3: MODC. Salt run aside, I just really loved this series. Can't believe a series about the shy kid falling in love with his bully is a fave. That sentence alone would make it problematic af...not to mention the questionable age gap between the 2nd couple. But it was beautifully constructed. Hao Ting found the best version of himself in Xi Gu and Xi Gu found a brighter side to life with Hao Ting. And they were WAYYYYY into each other and Hao Ting did put in his work to be forgiven. I do my best not to overthink Zhi Gang's age difference from Sun Bo because it's such a norm in Taiwanese BL. It's kind of interesting to see their relationship play out. Zhi Gang definitely has his hangups with the age gap and Sun Bo just doesn't care.

Blueming. Such a laid back series. Si Won is just a sweetheart dealing with self-esteem issues trying to make his presence known in life so he can get the best out of his university experience. And Da Un is just that effortlessly cool guy Si Won strives to be like. He can't even fathom the idea of such a cool guy having a crush on him that he takes the flirting as arrogance lmao. I think it's sweet that Da Un helps uplift Si Won and I think it's sweet that Si On showed Da Un the attention he never got at home.

Ingredients the Series. Just a sweet lil slice of life miniseries. It fills me with joy to watch Tops and Win pine after each other as Win works on his music and Tops works on his cooking and they live together symbiotically. There's not too much to this series. It relies heavily on food and chemistry and that's perfectly perfect for me.

#to my star #to my star 2 #blueming #gameboys #gameboys the series #gameboys the movie #we best love #we best love: no 1 for you #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare: eternal #ingredients the series #lovely writer #lovely writer the series #history 3: modc #history 3: make our days count #moonlight chicken #color rush

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putnamcapital · 2 months

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s1 ep 6 rewatch notes

[yeah i am still doing these essays, everyone copes differently OKAY]

I wish i had the words to convey my love for the Simon-Rosh-Ayub dynamic when they’re sitting on his bed trying to talk about his video, not the Kim K. video. it’s an instance of one of the things i ADORE about YR, namely, the importance of the love and support of friends - “the gang is back together”. contra a lot of the teenage and adult movies that put romantic love on a pedestal and everything else goes to the dogs.

That shot of Wille set against the sky when the Queen leaves = is it the apocalypse or is it heartbreak and i'm not the only one seeing the religious imagery right?

“we haven’t done anything wrong.” Simon’s moral clarity, his unbreakable backbone - it’s a moment where it’s obvious the Court has no idea who they are dealing with. I’m not sure Wille even knows then.

Frida doesn’t get enough praise for her acting. that side eye of August as they cross in front of him loafing on the picnic table: sublime.

Another parallel I hadn’t seen before: Sara dresses up before dinner; she likes the image she sees of herself in the mirror. She is “someone she is not”, according to Simon (later that night), but she wants that false countenance. In S2, that same move will devastate Wille. But we have another Sara-mirror scene, in S2. Leaning on the Wille-Sara parallel, there’s something being done here about becoming who you are through artifice (dressing up ‘in costume’) or through love (revealing your true self). August (as opposed to Simon, i think …) ends up being a false or traitorous ‘coming into self through love’ for Sara.

Related … when Sara went to see August to confront him about the video, i have retrospectively imagined her as having planned what happened. But if you look at the scene as it happens, both Sara and August seem to just be playing the situation as it arises. Sara starts off by not even intending to tell August, I think that was honest. When she then confronted him about the video, she first asks why did you do this to Wille and then, how do you have the right, you destroyed Simon? none of it is about her. it’s when August asks her ‘what do you want’ - that i think the idea comes to her. And i think that explains her face after she kisses August - her revulsion at herself. it seems like a situation that spiralled out of control very fast.

i can’t really talk about the Sara-Simon fight scene because it’s my Point of No Return in terms of “This is a nice program to watch of an evening” and “These characters have become my entire waking and sleeping existence, is there treatment for this.”

in the scene that starts with them sitting on the floor in Wille’s room, there is that tender moment by the door, and one of the top two kisses and hugs in the whole of season 1 and 2 combined, punctuated with the forehead tap. and i’ve always thought it so lovely until this time i saw the “red flag” - the towel hanging on the hook - and it reminded me of the red ‘flag’ we see in the locker room every other time things go south.

the scene with kristina and wille in the car starts simply with him saying, “WHAT?” which a) comes straight out of fanfic; b) is hyper-realistic adolescent approach to dialogue but also c) actually shows that they are really close. as in, Wille might loathe his mother by the end of this episode, but also he knows exactly what she’s thinking and they can just skip all the usual staging aspects of conversation. it links, i now see, to the book scene, where wille admits that he can’t just throw out everything he’s been taught, b/c he’s internalized it so well

when K is lecturing W about all the public attention he’s going to get now, and how it will be even worse, it’s the same shot of him looking out the car window wishing he could be literally anyone else as in the first few minutes of s1ep1, after the club fight. and we see his reflection in the window, so we get him 'in double' - who he is IRL, and who he is seen to be by the viewer. very clever. very clever.

#young royals #yr s1 rewatch #sometimes frankly i wish i had never watched this show can i be released #yr office meltdown

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brownbitchshit · 1 year

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I think people actually don't understand Simon's character properly. Which is why his actions are so often interpreted as something else other than what it is. As a fellow 'Simon' myself, let me explain about his character and actions :

1. Simon has grown up in a abusive/toxic household. While Sara holds a lot of grudge against Linda for not leaving soon enough, Simon must resent her too even if it's. 5% for being in a relationship where they all suffered. He doesn’t show it but I know he does because his character shows it (and as someone who has been in that situation, I know it's impossible not to). He probably has that belief in him that 'I will never let myself be disrespected like that. I will never be in a relationship with someone who is problematic and doesn’t treat me right. I would never be with someone with red flags'. Being a part of the equation of an abusive relationship always end up making people defensive and guarded like this. And this is exactly why Simon broke up with Wilhelm when he denied the video. He couldn’t be with someone who treated him like this. He couldn’t be with someone who didn’t respect him. It was never about love because when you witness an toxic relationship up close, you know that love isn't enough.

2. The best part about Simon is that he is authentic. He never pretends to be anything other than what he is. If he likes someone, he is bold and confident in his pursuit. He wears his heart on his sleeves, give them opportunities to rectify their mistakes, basically he supports the people he loves. That's what he did in s1. But it also means that he has limits, and when someone does something that completely makes him lose his faith on them, he stops trying. He cuts them off and picks up his heartbreak in silence. That's what he tried to do in s2. He was hurting but he didn’t let anyone see that except Rosh and Ayub maybe. Even they didn’t see his depth of hurt. He was ashamed of still being hung up on Wille because how can he love someone who wants him to be a secret? How can he be so weak that he can't get over a guy who treated him like that? That's why he tried to date Marcus. Because for Simon, he will find coping mechanisms to get over his hurt rather than telling people that he is in pain or going back to Wilhelm despite loving him.

3. Another thing people get wrong about Simon is that him showing off Marcus as a way to make Wilhelm jealous. He wasn't trying to make Wilhelm jealous, he was trying to show him that he is okay, he is fine, he is happy and he is moving on. And that Wille should leave him alone because he doing fine without him. It might feel like something similar to making someone jealous but it's more like 'I wanna show off the world that despite being hurt, I am strong enough to move on and be happy'. Again it's another coping mechanism for him (I have done the same thing to my ex and ex friends. So I feel like I understand him).

4. People also think that Simon doesn’t love him as much as Wilhelm which is also not true. Because as I have mentioned before, Simon tends to close off himself the moment someone hurts him. He doesn’t let anybody see his tears, his hurt except his close friends. He closes himself off, gulps down the hurt and run away. The best example of this is when Sara confessed about August. There was no outbursts, there was no crying. He ran aways so that no one can see his tears, he didn’t even let Wilhelm comfort him. Because Simon's idea about himself is that he is strong and he can handle anything. He doesn’t need anyone else. He hates to be vulnerable around people. And that's why he didn't show the depth of his love for Wilhelm. He held back because for him it was a matter of pride, he can't be so much in love with a guy who betrayed his trust.

5. But again, like I said, Simon is someone who is authentic. He is someone who is ride or die for his people but he is also someone who would cut you off if you do something that breaks his trust. Which is why in the end he decided to be Wilhelm 's secret. Because he realized that in his defensiveness he couldn’t see one fundamental thing :Wille didn’t break his trust on purpose, he is not a red flag like Micke and neither does he disrespect him. Wille is under unthinkable amount of pressure and he is powerless. Wilhelm 's love for him is authentic and Simon's heart is in safe hands and he can let his guard down, be vulnerable.

I think this is not the first instance Simon will suppress his feelings, have his guards up and will get defensive and I think at some point in future seasons we will probably see a huge breakdown from his part because it is always inevitable with these sort of behaviour (again speaking from personal experience). This is one of the reasons why I love YR writers and the story is how beautifully and realistically the characters are written. While Wilhelm is my most favourite character, Simon feels like someone I know personally. His actions, his defense mechanisms speak to me. It's a nuanced writing rather than being a regular black and white. He is a child of a divorced parents who had a toxic/abusive marriage. His father is an addict and a deadbeat. He has a lot of trust issues and he feels the need to show everyone how strong he is and how he can do everything on his own. It's a trauma response and his defensive character is what prevents even the audience from seeing who he is. I hope it's addressed in later seasons, I hope he too sees Boris at some point.

#young royals #wilmon #yr season 2 #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #wilhelm simon #i know s3 is coming and I am not believing in anything else

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raptorsgust · 7 months

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hello! so i was lucky enough to snag a ticket to the tgcf donghua s2 fan screening right here in singapore, so here's a short report on the happenings! under the read more as there will be spoilers including those from the novel

arrived at around 1:20pm and it already looked like a full house! lots of people queueing at the photobooths and stuff, LOTS of cosplayers, mainly hualian and beefleaf. after a while i asked an usher about the merch booth but it was already closed due to the long queue, so i just went to find my seat which was near the back (in front of a bunch of cosplayers haha)

the hall had at least eight screens but none were positioned in a way where i didn't have to turn/crane my neck lol i can still feel the strain

the screening itself started at about 10 minutes past 2pm! we first had some voice actor greetings first, both of shi qingxuan's voice actors seemed to have received the loudest cheers from my pov! all of them ended their greeting with 天官赐福，百无禁忌

there was also a quick announcement of another tgcf collab cafe in 2024! sg just keeps winning and winning

after that we finally started the screening with a recap of s1 starting from the cart scene all through the banyue arc. xie lian's lines were all newly voiced by his new voice actor deng youxi, and he sounded alright to me! (note: not 100% sure that he did replace jgt's voicing but that's what i remember, correct me if im wrong!)

more than an hour of s1 later, we smoothly transitioned into the first episode of s2, and the following are some highlights and points:

s2 is still based on the unrevised novel as far as i can tell

everyone loves shi qingxuan!!

ghost city is very extravagant and fun! lots of quirky ghosts, there's joss paper flying around everywhere

xl's 不举 was omitted even though it's already rated m18 lol

the part where hc teaches xl to shake the dice has a lot of hand touching and cute reactions from the ghosts and sqx and lqq

a LOT of teasing leading up to the reveal of hc's true form, they'd show part of his face, his hand, his boots, and when he stepped out from behind the curtain and xl laid eyes on him for the first time there were shoujo bubbles

also A LOT OF SCREAMING FROM THE AUDIENCE tbh it was already loud enough throughout the gambling scene it was just hilarious

frankly i couldn't see hc clearly cuz, bad seat, but we all know how he looks like anyway

idk if it's just mE but the audio of the entire screening had its pitch raised, all the songs were a key higher, everyone sounded higher-pitched...... to ward people from secretly recording it?

feels bad for fulgur cuz it feels like most of the audience didn't care about him? half of them left their seats for the photobooths during his q&a segment

quiz time was interesting......

for "what is hc's weapon?" the host accepted the answer E-Ming, as in the person who answered said cAPITAL LETTER OF THE ALPHABET E which i would personally not accept as correct but o wells

the last question was "what did hc give to xl at the end of s1?" and the lucky person who answered very precisely said "his ashes in the form of a ring" and the host went aRe YoU sUrE and tried to make us recall an oBjEcT and i think we were all second-guessing ourselves there lmao please get a host who did their homework next time

pretty sure that was a huge spoiler for donghua-only fans tho HAHA

after the event was over i hung around texting friends and then tried to see if the merch booth was available but all the nice merch was sold out, and frankly just thinking of trying the queues at the photobooths was mentally draining so i just left haha

overall it was a great experience! watching and reacting together with so many other fans is truly a rare experience and despite going solo i had fun!

excellent door gifts too, the acrylic stand is of great quality and is now set up and sitting on my mxtx shelf~

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #天官赐福 #tgcf donghua #tgcf donghua s2 #hua cheng #xie lian #shi qingxuan #lang qianqiu #idk how tumblr works anymore hopefully the formatting is alright

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daybringersol · 7 months

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i think the reason that i love william wisp so much is that hes literally me when i was younger, like back when i was depressed, self-hating and refused to try cuz i was scared. i felt hollow, like there wasnt any personality left under that pain. at some point, the idea of getting better felt terrifying to me, cuz i didnt know what id find under all the pain and trauma, if there was even anything left under there.

// JRWI prime defenders S2 EP39 spoilers, tw for psychosis, derealisation and dissociation mentions

with this new era of william wisp, i wouldnt be surprised if I ended up relating to him even more. I think theres a lot of directions he could go towards, personality-wise, and even if he ends up not going the same route as me, i know that the idea itself of having to find yourself after so long spent hiding is gonna resonate with me no matter what.

another thing i find interesting is that i also got that moment when i realised that everything i wanted was at my fingertips, which was the catalyst for me eventually getting better. it was during my psychosis, this friend of mine (who i held in very high regards) ended up telling me off, i dont remember for what exactly (psychosis does funny things to your brain) but it was something related to me not trying to get better. they said something that triggered my derealisation, which of course, sent me into a derealisation/dissociation spiral for some months, and basically straight to rock bottom. of course, i wouldnt recommend that you do that for your friends who are going through similar stuff, im pretty sure i could have died multiple times back then, but in the end, its what pulled me through to where im at now.

i dont remember everything, but basically, the thought process was : nothing is real, its all made up in my head, so theres nothing stopping me from imagining a world where im happy and living in it. i wrote a poem about it, not my best work for obvious reasons, but theres still something to it i think. here :

I want to see tomorrow

I’ve been wishing my whole life for the strength to say "I'm doing great!" when someone ask me how I am

I've always had that strength

I can just say it

It's just 4 words

Doing

Great

Easy, see?

It doesn't matter if it's false

Or if the tone of my voice was off

Or if the way my eyes naturally met the ground as soon as you entered the room

It doesn't matter

So what, if I'm lying?

In a fraction of second, I might not be lying anymore

In a fraction of second, I won't be lying

I've been making planets and universes in my head since I could think

I never thought of making one where I was happy

Why should it matter if it's only in my head

My head is real, it's right there

And in the end, all the other stuff too was in my head

I can trust you

I can have friends

I can be myself

I can have my body back

I can be beautiful

Inside and out

I choose what is true and what is not

It doesn't matter if I'm lying to you

It doesn't matter if I'm lying to myself

In the end, we could be both only in my head

It wouldn't matter

So yeah

I want to see tomorrow

Even if it's raining and even if I don't even notice it's raining

I'll just close my eyes, and I'll have everything I've always wanted

so yea ! even if of course the superpower thing and coming back to life thing isnt very realistic, as a metaphor, williams story makes complete sense. i felt dead, back then. and i truly feel like a different person now.

and im looking forward to see where the story takes him in the future !

#jrwi show #jrwi podcast #jrwi prime defenders #solsthoughts #jrwi william #william wisp #jrwi spoilers #tw psychosis #tw derealization #tw dissociation

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the-traveling-poet · 7 months

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hellooo! Could I request a Levi x member of the special operation squad reader, where after they go back to the HQ the reader, who has always been a strong soldier broke down in a panic attack? Like, she usually doesn’t even cry for her comrades’ deaths but after losing half of the original squad, and especially Petra, and seeing their bodies being sacrificed for nothing she can’t take it anymore and break down in Levi’s office after maybe having to report? Thank youuu <3

Comfort

══════════════════════

The 57th expedition outside the walls was a bust, despite the information about new threat of the Female Titan the Corps had gathered.

And with information, came many lives lost.

Upon returning to the abandoned HQ with Eren and Captain Levi, Y/N did her best to keep her composure after losing all of her closest friends. But at the end of the day, what she really needs is the comforting reassurance of the man who holds her heart.

══════════════════════

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Warnings: Character death, angst, language.

SFW, angst-to-comfort, S2

══════════════════════

A/N: ofc anon! I love this idea so much, rip the og s.o.s. T-T

Maybe a little ooc Levi, but I tried my best to keep him both true to his canon character and a little more on the softer side for reader.

As always if something isn’t to your expectations just let me know and I’ll re-write whatever!

Enjoy~ 🤎

══════════════════════

Deep breaths. Deep breaths, and don’t think about it.

You’d repeated this to yourself in your head for the past several hours, to no avail.

You were thankful you’d made it back alive from yet another expedition, of course, and was relieved to have successfully brung Eren back mostly unharmed with your squad. Well, what was left of it, at least.

As a soldier, you knew the risks you and your comrades took every time you swung up onto the backs of your horses and charged out of Maria’s gates. You’d seen death countless times. Bloody, mangled corpses littering the ground or sticking half out of steaming titan corpses before they could be fully devoured.

Over time, the overwhelming fear you’d feel every time ebbed away. It still grieved you to see familiar faces lying unmoving at your feet, but you no longer would lock up or break down on the spot.

You always saved that for later, when your assistance wasn’t needed and you had privacy to mourn on your own time.

But now? Now, that had all changed.

The deaths of your squad, the Special Operations Squad, was something you couldn’t just tune out until you reached your room for the night.

You’d been there, the moment steel met flesh and severed Gunther’s nape. You’d been there, when Eld’s body was crushed between the titan’s teeth. You’d heard Petra’s horrified screams and the sickening crunch of her spine shattering when the female titan slammed her petite frame against a tree. You’d tried to hold Oulo back, but his rage blinded him to the giant’s hand swinging towards him.

You’d frozen in fear, unable to make your fingers pull the triggers of your gear to race forward and avenge your comrades. Your friends. You’d hung in the air motionlessly, breath ragged and heart pounding. You urged yourself to move, to fight, to get out of the way and grab Eren as he zipped past you, screaming in rage.

But you hadn’t. You could only watch with tear blurred vision as the boy transformed, taking the female titan head on in combat.

It had been years since you had lost yourself on the field of battle, but here you found yourself; dangling there uselessly with your eyes stuck on the scene of the mangled redhead at the base of the tree below you.

You had dropped to the ground, barely feeling the impact that stung your feet and crouched beside your best friend. You knew it was pointless, you knew what you had seen. Yet still you reached out a shaking hand and checked for a pulse.

Gone. Just like all the others.

Unable to kneel any longer, you had collapsed to your knees, silent sobs racking your body and making your ribs ache with every jagged breath you drew.

The only thing that eventually snapped you out of it, was the sound of Eren’s titan screaming in the distance. Numbly, you’d gotten to your feet and took one last look around the forest. Though you couldn’t see Gunther’s body from where you stood, you made a silent promise to yourself to come back for their bodies.

Once the battle was won and Eren was retrieved, you had done just that. You led a small patrol to the spot in the large forest where their bodies remained, just as mangled as you’d left them.

You tried to keep your composure for your living comrades, but the dead squad’s glassy eyes staring blankly ahead, paired with their twisted expressions of agony frozen in time, you couldn’t contain the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

You’d personally carried them all in your arms, one by one, and wrapped them carefully in white sheets before setting them down comfortably in a wagon brought along for this very purpose.

You’d made it back your Captain, Levi. Taking note of his barely noticeable limp, you’d walked near him, just in case.

At the moment, your feelings towards the man were overridden by your grief, so you thought nothing much of the way he had shuffled closer to you, a worried look in his eyes aimed your way.

You never saw him eyeing you out if the corner of his eye, emotions being shown freely for once on his stoic face.

But all too soon that look was wiped away, when two scouts had gone back to retrieve the remains of their fallen friend, only to being danger hurdling towards what was left of the Scouting Legion.

You’d fought for several long minuets at titans spilled out for the forrest after the two soldiers who alerted their gaze, guarding the rear of the formation. But distinctly you heard the command being given to toss the bodies. You blood had run cold as your head snapped back towards the direction of the carts, watching on in despair as soldiers lowered the back gates and started heaving up soldier’s dead bodies to throw off the cart.

You understood this was to lessen the load, and ensure faster travels back to Wall Maria while trying to escape the titans nipping at your heels.

But the moment you caught Levi’s eye from on up ahead, and caught sight of stark red hair peeking through the white sheets of a body being trampled under foot, you again lost your composure.

It was a miracle you hadn’t been severely injured; at least physically, during the whole ordeal.

Eyes wide and a scream stuck in your throat, you watched as your closest friend, Petra Ral, was thrown over the wagon and trampled over by the hoard.

You’d wiped at your face and zipped back to your horse, landing with a barely concealed sob and raced forward after the rest of the formation.

Shaking your head once more, you straightened out your uniform and repeated that same phrase in your head.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths, and don’t think about it.

Steeling yourself, you raised a hand slowly and knocked on the door before you.

You’d returned to the old HQ some hours ago, alone with your thoughts as you helped settle an unconscious Eren into a spare bedroom to rest. His comrades had come in to check on him, but you hardly paid them any mind. At any moment, you knew you would break. Try as you might to store away your emotions for later, every minute that passed you by only made the task harder and harder.

But you had duties, as a scout. A scout of the Special Operations Squad, nonetheless.

So here you stood, before the old and worn office door, raising your fist to lightly knock on the surface.

“What is it?” a muffled voice responded to your knock.

After a short pause, you drew a shaky breath and spoke. “Cadet Y/N L/N, sir. I’ve finished the report I was assigned to.”

Though it was an oral report, as both you and your Captain knew, you’d spent some time alone to gather the right words to say in order to prevent yourself breaking down in front of someone else. Much less your Captain.

A tired and low voice granted you entry, and you slowly twisted the brass knob and entered the old office space.

Near the back wall of the office facing a window, stood your Captain. He was rigid, unmoving as he stared hard out the window. Giving a crisp salute, despite his turned back, you began the speech you’d preformed in your head hours prior.

“Captain, I’ve come to give my report on the happenings of the Special Operations Squad during the Fifty Seventh Exposition while your squad was under my care.” You started off boldly. Perhaps too boldly, you thought, as Levi spun on his heel and shot you his trademark glare.

Except this time, you didn’t detect annoyance or malice in his cold look. This time, all you saw was pain; mental, emotional, and physical, as well as a poorly hidden grief.

“Spit out then, L/N,” he scoffed, not quite looking you in the eye.

Taking a moment to compose yourself, you tried to continue.

“Yes sir. After your departure from the squad to rejoin with Commander Erwin, I took charge as ordered. We tethered the horses, as asked, and took a rest within the tree tops far away from the titan. After a rest, we were alerted by a smoke signal, one that told us you were on your way to regroup with us.”

A sudden pang of guilt coursed through you as you continued to recount the mission. Guilt for not figuring out the flare was a trap ahead of time…

“By the time we neared the cloaked individual who shot the flair, we realized…I realized…I was mistaken. When we thought it had been you; it had really been the trailer. She…She slit Cadet Gunther’s nape, before transforming and running us deeper into the wood.”

Here you voice started to waver, but you tried your best to push through your emotions and do your duty as second in command.

“Gunther Shultz fell, leaving the rest of us to guard Eren while coming up with a new course of action. Originally, we sent him away; for his safety, of course, while we dealt with the threat. By the time Eren was out of my sight, Eld Gin was slain by the Female. And soon after…After…”

Your breath was coming in rapid inhales and exhales, making you dizzy and light headed. Recounting this verbally was much more difficult than it had been earlier in the day when you recited your practiced lines in your head.

Verbalizing the events made them more and more real to you, reminding you this wasn’t some horrendous nightmare your subconscious had conjoined up.

Shifting your eyes down to your feet, you blinked back tears and tried your best to continue. During this time, you hadn’t noticed the change in expression on Levi’s face as he silently listened to your report.

“I attempted to restrain Oulo, as he lost control of his emotions during the battle when…When Petra…”

You swallowed thickly, your saliva doing little to coat you suddenly dry throat.

“Cadet Petra Ral…She fought valiantly. She attempted to cut out the bitch’s eyes, and avenge both Gunther and Eld. But before she could…She….She…”

You swallowed down your nausea as your mind went back to the memory of her twisted spine and splintered ribs. The way her uniform glistened with her own blood, tore apart by her shattered bones poking through her skin and the fabrics she wore.

“I was unable to aid them. Though I tried, I was too late. Eren Jaeger had taken matters into his own hands in my stead, taking on the female in combat…”

By now your voice wavered on every word you spoke, and your knees shook as they attempted to hold up your full weight. Your head spun, and your heart was frantically pounding in your chest; skipping beats and causing your diaphragm to ache and spasm with how you held your emotions back by a thread of restraint.

“I…I tried…I checked…I couldn’t…I…”

At this point, every word that left your chapped lips was accompanied by a deep gasp of breath. You felt as though you would collapse at any moment, and your hands shook uncontrollably.

You knew this sensation well, yet you’d never had had to suppress your emotions in front of someone like this before. The idea that you were losing control scared you shitless, but you still tried to push on.

“I’m sorry,” you finally managed to whisper, your head hung low and your vision obscured by unshed tears.

The office was silent for a long time, save for your strangled gasps as you forced oxygen into your lungs. Finally, the sound of Levi’s footsteps drawing closer toward you caused your gaze to snap up and meet his.

His expression was unreadable, as per usual. But for once, you could have sworn you caught the faintest flicker of sorrow mar his features. He slowly walked closer until he was standing before you, his eyes trained in your downturned face.

Once he came to a stop, you felt a hand gently grip your shoulder, causing you to flinch ever so slightly. Even still, he caught the motion.

“Y/N,” he whispered softly. “Look at me.”

Slowly, you dragged your gaze upwards to meet his, guilt and despair shining brightly in your teary eyes.

“You did your duty. You followed through with your orders, and helped ensure Eren’s safety. Most importantly, you made it back alive.”

His soft tone caught you off guard, causing your eyes to widen as you stared intently into his grey eyes.

“Captain-“

“No. None of that,” he cut you off. “You cannot…You will not, blame their deaths on yourself. All of you knew the risks. You all knew. Their deaths are not your fault.”

His whispered words finally broke the ever building dam in your heart, and you fell to your knees. His hand remained in your shoulder as you silently wept. Faintly, you registered his thin fingers tracing faint circles against your shoulder, but the grief you felt canceled out the feeling of butterflies in your stomach from his touch.

“I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t-“

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Y/N.”

Kneeling down in front of you, he placed a calluses hand under your chin and forced your head up to meet his gaze.

“I shouldn’t have left my quad; orders or not. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I failed my squad, not you.”

His words sent a shudder through your heart as you attempted to compose yourself.

“N-no. Not your fault, Captain.” you mumbled.

“Levi. Just Levi.” He whispered softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

Stiffing a hiccup, you looked up at him in surprise. “I’m sorry I couldn’t lead them better. I froze. I shut down and I shouldn’t have-“

“It happens. To all of us. You did what you could, and for that I am grateful.” He spoke in a stern voice, but no anger was to be found in his tone.

“What has happened, has happened. All that we can do now is honor their memories and their sacrifices by continue on in their stead.” He continued on, looking directly into your eyes. Wiping at your nose, you sniffled and tried your best to slow your tears.

“We cannot live to regret the choices we have made.”

His words sent a shock through system, but despite the grief you felt you knew he was right. Unable to resist any longer, you threw your arms around his shoulders and buried your face against his chest.

He stiffened slightly at the contact, but then slowly brought his arms up to rest upon your shoulders as he knelt with you in the office floor. Faintly, you registered a trail of warm liquid rolling down your cheek, alerting you to your tears. Without a word, Levi wiped them away.

“I’m glad you made it back to us. To me.” He whispered softly against your hair. “You are strong, and through you their strength shines. You did what you could, and you did your duty as a scout. No one could ask any more than that.”

You embraced him tightly, your anxiety ever so slowly subsiding. Never fully, but enough to choke out a few words of your own.

“I’m sorry, Levi. I’m sorry for your squad…Our, squad.”

“As you said, they fought valiantly. Up until the very end. Their loss grieves me as much as it does you, but we have to remain strong. We have to keep fighting. For them.”

You nodded your head against his chest, only subconsciously noting your tears had dampened his shirt. He ran his fingers delicately through your hair, as though trying to sooth you. Though his movement were awkward, you appreciated his attempting comfort and leaned your head snugger against his chest.

“Thank you, Levi.” You whispered.

You felt his hand trailing soothingly down your back as he sighed, holding you ever so slightly closer.

“I’m here, Y/N. I’m not going to leave you, and I’ll be damned if you try and leave me, too. We’re in this together….I’ve got you.”

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doriandrifting · 2 years

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Maybe it’s bc I’m a bit older than the average byler truther but I’ve lived through the peak of queerbaiting in media and this ain’t it.

Even just rationally speaking, if Byler was going to be unrequited, most, if not all, of it would’ve been wrapped up this season. We wouldn’t be going into the last season with so much up in the air—Mike and El still not talking after a “love confession”, the lie about the painting, Will having only had a coded coming out with Jonathan, etc. Mike and Will spent the entire season having heart to hearts that predominantly focused on Mike’s relationship issues to show that their friendship is rooted in being vulnerable with one another. There’s no way, at the very least, Will wouldn’t come out, even in a vague sort of way, to Mike. Especially considering that they’ve show us that Mike isn’t homophobic—that he defended Will’s honor against the homophobic bullies when Will was missing.

So if they waited for Season 5, and all of this led to him being rejected at the very end, in a season with no new characters, they’d literally be giving Will a slowburn sad ending. It would mean that they set up Will to have literally maybe one happy character arc over the course of the show (Getting a Dad who loves him, Hopper). S1: Kidnapped and trapped in the Upside Down S2: Possessed S3: Ignored, heartbroken and then forced to move away from his friends S4: In “unrequited” love with his best friend who’s dating his sister and his entire arc is pushing them together at great personal cost S5: Rejected by the only character he’s shown to have feelings for after finally opening up about being queer???

Like can you think of any other character on the show that has no happy arcs?

Even El, who has the most tragic backstory, is ending the story with a full family, (most likely) her best friend back at her side, the people who harmed her her entire life gone, and freedom from being used for her powers. And if Byler isn’t canon, she’s ending it with a love interest.

I know people have been burned with similar media like IT and whatnot, but at the end of the day, while IT can deviate a bit, they’re trying to stay true to source material. Stranger Things has no source material and has already shown that it’s not above “straight-baiting” (maybe the assumption shouldn’t be everyone is straight until proven otherwise oop). The Duffer Brothers have also already been clear about not wanting a sad ending (talking about how you can’t kill Mike bc that’s too sad—that becomes a different show). So IMO, there’s nothing to worry about.

#this is for the younger bylers that have been crying and throwing up over actor comments #I promise y’all they don’t know a lot of things about the story #and they’re literally coached to lie in some cases #Noah literallt admitted he was told to dance around questions to protect the S4 plot of will being gay #byler #mike wheeler #i know what you are #will byers #is an angel #he’s never done anything wrong #I would protect him with my life

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bluedalahorse · 6 months

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As my identified reference about Sara and August, I have a question for you about the end of s1.

When Sara goes to August's room to confront him, they end up kissing. Before I saw S2, I thought Sara was not really consenting, giving the way she looks away. I thought August was taking avantage of her.

Do you think she was "enjoying it" at that time, but maybe was wondering what was happening ?

Thanks for your ask! I’m happy to be your sargust expert.

And now to address your question. It’s an uncomfortable question to answer, but I’ll do my best to answer it all the same. Content note that we’re about to get into discussing consent and other difficult topics related to sexuality.

Generally my read on the situation is: yes, Sara consented. At the same time, she’s conflicted about her feelings for August in that scene, so I think what we’re seeing when she looks away is her struggling with her feelings about her desires.

While we talk a lot about the more positive depictions of sexual behavior in Young Royals, one thing that’s true about the show is that it actually depicts a range of sexual behaviors. Earlier in season 1, we have Simon nervously but happily kissing Wilhelm on movie night, but we also have Felice showing up at August’s room and initiating a hookup not out of desire but out of feelings of anger and insecurity. Felice and August both consent to the latter encounter, but both of them do so while in a negative headspace. Sara’s encounter with August in 1.6 occupies a sort of middle space between these two extremes. This is even evident by how the scene is blocked and directed. Sara showing up at August’s door reminds us of the way Felice shows up, but her first tentative kisses remind us of Simon on movie night. Sara does feel genuine desire—she’s the one who initiates the kissing, at first—but she’s also struggling with that desire and what it means for her understanding of herself, her relationship with her family, etc.

Another piece of important context for the confrontation scene is that both Sara and August are in not the best headspace. August has been grappling with the fact that he betrayed his core value of discretion released the video, and a lot of the buried resentment he feels toward Wilhelm has come to the surface. This is coming on the heels of August barely avoiding being kicked out of Hillerska after not being able to pay his boarding feels. Sara encountered her father in person on Lucia night—something caused by Simon going behind her back—and her house is now being hounded by journalists and her mom is threatening to pull her out of a school where she’s finally made friends. While neither of them is in as awful or traumatic a place as Wilhelm or Simon, for obvious reasons, I don’t imagine either of them has been sleeping well or taking care of themselves. This is likely something that’s cutting down on their usual inhibitions, and their decisions are driven partially by bad mental health/a stress response.

Regardless of the fact that Sara consents, I also think we’re meant to feel uncomfortable in that scene because we know how quickly things could go in a negative direction where Sara’s consent is disregarded. We know August’s views of women are crap. He has a lot more privilege, between the two of them, and he’s physically taller and stronger than Sara. If I recall (I’m trying not to rewatch the scene right now so I don’t accidentally rewatch Young Royals when I need to get work done) we even see him lift Sara up and put her on his desk. In a more idealized/less realistic teen drama, the directors might have tried to turn this into a ~sexy move~ via camera work, lighting, and sound mixing. But here it’s merely a demonstration of physical strength, and one that Sara’s not initially expecting. I don’t think Sara’s feeling threatened or coerced, in that moment, even if she’s surprised and even if all of this physical contact is new to her—I imagine season 2 would have played out very differently if she had felt that way—but I do think that we, as audience members, are supposed to feel the possibility of that threat, and worry for her.

(Something I also have considered in season 2 is the way that Sara is initiating a lot of the physical contact at the beginning of season 2, while also knowing August’s secret. Theoretically she could have blackmailed him into hooking up with her by threatening to go to the police with information. She doesn’t attempt to blackmail him, and August consents to physical contact with her even when he’s surprised by it. But the context in which Sara kisses August in 2.2 is supposed to bring this idea into our head, I think. Maybe. I go back and forth on what the writers want us to think there.)

Another way to think about these scenes, also, is that some sex educators recognize multiple categories of consent. For instance, Angela Chen recognizes four in her book on asexuality. Chen would probably label Sara’s consent in 1.6 as willing, but not enthusiastic. Likewise with August’s consent in 2.2.

Tl;dr consent is a complex topic and different sex educators have different paradigms about consent. Young Royals wholly acknowledges the importance of consent in sexual situations, while also acknowledging that not everyone who consents does so at perfect times, or with pure, uninterrupted feelings of love and desire in their heart. And I think being aware of that makes it easier to interpret scenes like the one above.

Hope this answers your question! There really are a lot of emotional layers to this show.

#young royals #sara eriksson #august young royals #sargust #consent talk #asks #cw consent violations #(there’s probably a better label for this but I’m struggling for words)

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alatabouleau · 8 months

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Why the Beach divorce is unfixable (and why it doesn't work in Good Omens 2)

I think we can all agree that XMFC is a ...~flawed~ movie. I mean, I could write long, long posts about the inherent sexism and racist implications. But today, I want to talk about one thing that actually worked. That made so much sense and hit so hard, it single-handedly saved the whole film for me. Something that I've seen come up recently, again, under the cherik-tag because of another fandom and show. Where something very similar happens, only that in this case, it doesn't work at all.

(if you haven't watched GO S2 yet, spoilers. Also, if you enjoyed the second season, good for you, but this post is going to be highly critical of it. Gotta be my last post about that, since I believe in getting it out of your system but not continually spreading negativity and holding a grudge.)

So, with this post, I would like to dissect *why*: What makes the Beach Divorce (TM) in First Class work so well is its preparation in the previous events of that film and even before that. The thing about First Class is, while not being the perfect prequel timeline-wise with the previous motives of the first X-Men-trilogy, it still works *because* it is a prequel. At least the very specific part about Professor X and Magneto. Because from the start, when Charles pulls Erik out of the ocean, we, the informed audience, know how it's going to end. But for some moments you tend to forget, when they go on a trip to recruit mutants, training them, working so well together. And even when the small cracks are already visible in the way they discuss the issue of mutant integration into society, one could still hope that maybe this time, they'll find a way, settle their differences and keep building the future. Together. But it's still the same story. It's still the same characters. And both Erik and Charles could never change their core values. Their lives have already shaped them into who they are inherently, and they can't change what they do because they can't change what they *want*. Which is why the line "We want the same thing." - "Oh, I'm sorry my friend. But we do not." hits so hard. Because both is true. On a broader level, they *do* both want the same thing. A better future for mutantkind. Yet just as equally true is the fact that they will never want to choose the same path to get there.

To point it out directly, what makes the Beach Divorce (TM) so brilliantly devastating is that it makes 100% perfect sense for the two characters to behave that way. It makes sense that Erik, who sees someone he clearly cares for (loves) being shot, again!, can't initially accept that it's his fault. It makes sense for him, after taking an unimaginable amount of courage to make himself vulnerable in front of Charles, for the very first time on screen in front of ANYNONE mind you, laying down awkwardly but raw in its honesty how much this man in his arms means to him, to immediately close off and become cold again after being utterly rejected, in his PoV. It makes just as much sense for Charles who spent this movie trying to show Erik that there could be other ways to deal with issues than violence, would perceive how Erik takes on a helmet that cuts him off, kills a man while Charles is IN HIS HEAD, tries to kill "innocent" people and ultimately, shoots him, to conclude that his friend (love interest) has long since chosen a path where he could never follow him and therefore see choosing different sides (breaking up) as the only available option. And you can try to "fix" this. You can make up any scenario you can think of, and it still would play out like that because you can't change how each Erik and Charles perceive the world without changing inherently who they are as characters. That's what makes it so gut-wrenchingly tragic.

The whole tragedy of the tale of cherik is laid out in this one scene: That if the two of them looked into the mirror of erised, they'd see the same vision. Them being together and leading the mutant race in a bright future for them. But in reality, the means they choose to get to that end will never be compatible. Its tragedy defines itself through a subversion of the trope "Love on opposite sides". Because they *choose* to be that. It's not external circumstances that keep them from being together, it's their own values and convictions. Which is what keeps me so obsessed with these two, since that is so uniquely ~them~. So why do I think that this very similar scene, which I described as so brilliantly heartbreaking in one context, doesn't work for Good Omens 2? well... BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR *THESE* CHARACTERS! Because Crowley and Aziraphale are the exact opposite of Cherik. They too, may be a couple that finds itself on different sides, but in their case, that's entirely an external circumstance, while their internal values and convictions align almost perfectly (depending whether we talk book omens or S1GO). Because the core of Ineffable spouses ship is that they are on the same side when they shouldn't be. They have their orders to obey, they have their instructions to despise each other, but they simply don't care enough since They are more interested in earth (and each other) than their respective head offices. That's what makes them work as friends, as a couple, as a ship. So when season 2 pulled a beach divorce à la Cherik, I was mad and disappointed because for me, it tears apart what their relationship is all about. And I'm ok with that kind of sacrifice when it gives you something valuable narrative-wise, which it didn't. And I have no hope of season 3 paying off for that. There was just not a big enough reason for me to break off the backbone of the entire story. That it is possible for you to make your own choices and be with the people you want to be with even if an oppressive system tells you no. It just doesn't make sense.

(So yeah, does this post only exist because I tried to get my head off from the destruction of a very dear ship of mine but also not wanting to spoil anyone's fun, by scrolling through the cherik-tag on Tumblr instead of the good omens tags and seeing so many posts comparing these two scenes, thinking "can you escape this *anywhere* on this page?" while also getting annoyed since how I pointed out in this post, it doesn't work at all in the second context? Maybe. But that's just me. ;))

#cherik #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #good omens critical #beach divorce #annnnd another morning successfully wasted by writing awfully long tumblr posts! :D #like i said (hopefully) last post about GO2 since I want to move on

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sevensoulmates · 2 months

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if the bi buck spec is true then tommy is literally the definition of a plot device meant for bucks development this season, which means he's probably done in the end of the season which makes sense why they've brought back a person who cameo'd in s2 to be a part of a characters arc in s7. i think by the end of the season buck will be confident in who he is thanks to his time with tommy and be open and comfortable with the idea of being with men meanwhile I think Eddie and Marisol will absolutely break up and why is going to be obvious to everyone but Eddie, setting us up for a season 8 that's going to tell the story they wanted to tell in S5 but the FOX network stopped them and that is the journey to Buddie getting together. This is going to be an angst filled season for sure, but by the end of it I fully expect we are fully on the road to Buddie. Hell the second Buck is kissed by a man, that's the moment Buddie is confirmed as the endgame because the only reason you even do this is because you fully intend to tell the story you've wanted to tell for multiple seasons and that is Buddie.

Good morning friend!

I'm really hoping the Buck/Tommy spec is true because you're absolutely right, he would absolutely be a temporary plot device for Buck's queer realization arc, and I'm 100% down for that. The GA (but honestly all viewers, even hardcore shippers) NEED something to happen on-screen that confirms queerness in one or both of Buck and Eddie. This is the very first step to signal to the audience that Buck's endgame person...just might be a man. And who do we know on this show who's a man who's perfect for Buck in literally every way? It will get people thinking, especially if Eddie is somehow peripherally involved in Buck's arc, even just as someone watching them.

I don't know what's gonna happen with that honestly, but if Buck is confirmed queer, I truly don't see how that won't have an effect on Eddie in some way. I don't know how, but if the writers play their cards right it could be a tandem queer realization (though maybe delayed in Eddie like you said cuz he's still gotta get over things with Marisol and on a more unconscious level, Shannon), but they really have set us up to come back full circle to season 5 if that's the case. Both Buck and Eddie need to make active choices about their relationships again.

Maybe this time, Eddie will be able to break up with Marisol knowing full well why his relationship with her won't work out. Maybe this time, Buck will be able to have a short-lived fling with Tommy, and be able to open his eyes to the fact that the love he actually wants is right in front of him (the calling back to Buck, Actually is getting my hopes SO HIGH and I'm trying my damndest not to get too caught up in it.)

I think season 7 could be the perfect transition season, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean in terms of setting us up for the story that wants and needs to be told in future seasons.

(again, I know this is all some serious spec built off some leaps of faith the fandom has taken with behind-the-scenes info) BUT if we get any of these things this season, I seriously believe we have a higher chance than ever of seeing canon buddie in season 8:

Queer Buck (whether it involves Tommy or someone else, etc.)

Eddie breaking up with Marisol by the end of the season (bonus points if it has anything to do with Buck/Buck's queerness, or happens prior to the wedding, or even at the wedding)

Queer Buck affecting Eddie in any way (even subtextually)

Any sort of big moment that signals a romantic shift in perspective toward the other one (could happen at literally any time)

It would also be amazing if they have any sort of moment at Chim's bachelor party or wedding (this is another popular spec, right? I've seen it going around) because those are both surrounded by themes of love and future commitment and could also be foreshadowing.

Season 7 honestly has the chance do something great and I'm okay with conflict getting in the way of that (Tommy, Natalia, Marisol, the ghost of Shannon, etc.) if it means they're setting up for buddie to actually happen in s8 or beyond.

#911 abc #buddie #again I realize this is all based on major speculation and we don't have anything concrete to go off of right now #but I'm telling you SOMETHING has shifted with this switch to abc #and if there was ever a perfect time to make big changes to any of the characters it's now #I believe in you abc and Tim #ask

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italianpersonwithashippersheart · 10 months

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BL Wishes

My List of things and Plots that I Would Like to See In BL

FIRST: Rapid Fire Specific Drama Edition:

Big Dragon S2: I need it, I need it now and I need at least one kinky scene with MossBank because I have not forgotten about the lack of kinky sex in s1. I know it's going to focus on a new couple but I need at least one sexy kinky time with them please and thank you.

I need Minato Coin Laundry s2 not to break them up, or have stupid cheating plots. (The bar is in hell)

I need both Domundi (The Next Prince, Naughty Babe, Love Upon a Time, Middleman) and Taiwan (I forgot the names of announced shows but it's in my blog somewhere) Line Ups to come to me and I need it now. Especially Taiwan.

I need Make A Wish to be more available, I could only find it with Italian Subs, I didn't watch it yet, but the ending seems to be hinting at a season 2 and at the possiblity of a poly ending (or at least a love triangle) so I need other people to be able to watch it as well.

The HIstory franchise needs to get its shit together and start producing more and better shows. Like for all of it's fault I did like History 4 and History 5 was fine. But I need more, I need them to do 2 shows again, I don't want them to "fine" I want them to go all out. Go Crazy. Just don't kill gays again.

Now More Generic BL Wishes:

VAMPIRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just give me vampires, maybe even some werewolves. I need it, I know that we have Mafia BLs but I want Vampire BL god damn it!!!! The main four actors of Cutie Pie would be great a Vampire-Werewolf BL. And I know Fluke Natouch would be great as a Vampire as well (he was in 2015 movie playing a human to vampire co-lead). I also think Earth Cooheart would be great as a Vampire. And MossBank, they would be great in a werewolves pair.

Speaking of Fluke Natouch and Earth Cooheart I need both of them to get more adult and darker roles. I need Cooheart to be allowed to be a little sexy, and I know Fluke would do a darker powerful role justice, I want him to be in a role where he bringes "bigger" man to their knees. I want to see him covered in blood (I say this with love)

POLYCULE with the main four actors of Cutie Pie. This is entairly @respectthepetty's fault. I saw the MaxZee posts on her blog and and It send me down a rabbit hole. By the way did you know there are no true polycule fanfic of the four of them, there is something, but not true polycule and never with Lian and Yi as a pair. Truly no one knows these characters they way @respectthepetty knows them.

Also @respectthepetty's fault for putting this in my head: Domundi Line Up Mash Up. Bad Friend and Middleman Ship meet Cutie Pie and Naughty Babe's ships. In one big BL. The idea is now in my head and it's glorious. Let's Do It!!

Choco Milk Shake Thair Remake but Poly this time. Not sure what trio could do this, but I need it.

LET GUN KISS SOMEONE WHO IS NOT OFF. Listen I realize that OffGun are probably GMMTV best pair branding, and I know that both Off and Gun are going to bank on this pair and be settled for life. I don't even need Gun to be in an endgame ship with another actor, I just need him to kiss another male actor. Not Me would have been the best scenario because of the twins situation. But they didn't go there, and I will never forgive them for that.

Related to Number 5, I had this idea for a plot with an OffGun endgame ship, that started with Gun's character being in a relationship with Sing (because I am still mad about ToddBlack - Listen they have baited us twice with GunSing kiss I need this now) who cheats on him and Gun has to move out and finds an appartmant with Off's character and maybe another roomate played by Tay because I love the Tay/Off dynamic. We would get scenes with Gun and Sing together, showings us flashbacks and stuff but also an OffGun endgame. WIN WIN!!

I need more shows with parents that are in the murky gray area between full acceptance and abusive, I need them not to change their mind at the end and I need a realistic exploration of what it means for a queer person to have parents in that gray area, I want them to question if it's worth it to have to be one that is keeping that realtionship alive. I am also loving the trend of dramas dealing with homophobia and I need to see more of it. I don't want it in all my BLs far from it, but I do like when BL goes there.

More disable characters in BL, preferably by disable actor's but this is a streach so, I just need more disability in BL.

And more actually fat characters, not like Jao in SCOY (which I Love, but calling him fat, felt like a bit of a strech)

And Obviously more GLs and more masc women in GL

I think that's it. Those are the major ones. Feel free to share your thoughts on your own wishes or if you agree or disagree with any of my ideas.

#bl wishes #bl series #bl actors

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ladyluscinia · 1 year

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Idk if it's just a coincidence, but all of the sudden I keep seeing those "Izzy stans are so obsessed with this random white guy that they ignore or flatten every other character (especially poc)" takes all over and it's annoying me so much. So:

First, I'm going to link bromelads most recent attempt to get some actually constructive dialogue going about fandom racism because it has a whole section on this point. Technically two sections if you count the linked drive file as separate.

And then I'm going to ask all my fellow Izzy Hands lovers to add on to this post their favorite deep thoughts / burning questions / fun headcanons / etc. about your favorite non-Izzy characters. I know you all have a bunch of them. Bonus points for other side characters instead of Edward or Stede.

I'll start.

---

So I'm fascinated by the glimpses we get of pirate culture / the Queen Anne / the general environment that Edward is coming from and still half enmeshed in because I personally find the narrative push and pull there a lot more interesting than the whole running from one world to another that Stede (and to a lesser extent his crew) has going on. Which naturally leads to me finding Fang and Ivan so fucking interesting.

(Mandatory moment of sadness that Ivan won't be in season 2, because I was really hoping to see where his story was going 😭)

Not sure if I can really hypothesize many "hidden" depths to Fang because the show openly hit a pretty wide range. He cries over his dog and nude models for Lucius, but also skins a man with a snail fork and seems shockingly chill about Edward making an abrupt 180 to "maroon all your new friends to die". He's an obedient henchman in 1x02 and 1x04, but he also takes basically no prompting to go for the jugular on humiliating gossip the moment Edward seems disinclined to enforce Izzy's authority. The man contains multitudes already, minimal sleuthing required.

I am really looking forward to how S2 addresses his loyalty to Edward over the crew. Like at the end of 1x10 Fang and Ivan don't even really look that conflicted??? They were buddy buddy with these guys yesterday - moreso Fang than Ivan - but also seemed fully aware that Blackbeard could decide he was done playing around at any moment and then he did. Whoo boy. I mean, one genre of fic I'm usually not interested in is "Lucius in the walls" fic (I know he's alive, I just don't really care for that approach), but I will make an exception if it really explores Fang specifically hiding him because that's a big thing given he is openly afraid of defying Edward.

Like... Fang is a pretty friendly dude, and I can't imagine someone to fool around with was that impossible to find on Blackbeard's leatherman express. So it's really cool that despite very much not being, like, his true love or whatever, Lucius is apparently offering Fang something novel on the acceptance and connection front but maybe not something that wildly diverges from what he's had before. And I do think it's interesting to rotate how that tension could be playing out in his mind. He's got to be used to the whole flow of making and losing connections - that's just pirate life, nbd - except this time it's supposed to just be whatever, only... it's not? He actually misses Lucius and those other fun guys??? Maybe even enough to stand up to Edward over it?!

And Ivan! Man, Ivan has all kinds of potential stuff going on that I feel like people could talk about. I would probably talk about it more, only with the news he won't be in S2 it always makes me wonder how they are going to get rid of him and what that's going to imply about him (which might be contradictory to what they were intending). Which makes me sad.

Probably the biggest thing is like... I don't think Ivan actually likes Stede or the Revenge crew much? I mean on a personal level. Like, his only real friendship bond appears to be Fang, he's not noticeably trying to make new ones, and he's kinda fed up with Stede's people a few times? I'm thinking of rooting to kill them after 1x02, and scoffing at them during the raid in 1x05. And to me this is a really cool trait. I love it when "good" side characters have independent personalities enough to find the protagonist mildly annoying or something, instead of every single one of them perfectly correlating "good person" and "protagonist's friend". It prevents protagonist POV from becoming tunnel vision and accidentally making them seem like the center of the universe. (This is part of why the spn fandom loves Kevin.)

Not liking Stede isn't a character flaw, you know? And if you analyze Ivan's POV with just kinda not being impressed with these guys as an option, that leads to some really interesting places. Because in 1x06 he's actively encouraging Edward to just kill Stede like he said he would, not just following Izzy's lead, and then in 1x07 and 1x08 Ivan and Fang disappear. They don't show up again until Izzy does, but they also aren't seen leaving with Izzy or showing up in scenes like Jackie's bar like you would expect if they were just his loyal henchmen or whatever. So what are they doing in that gap???

I've said before that the adventures of Fang and Ivan is a completely wild story squeezed into the background and gaps of this show with two fascinatingly insane guys at the center of it, and I still think that's true. Fang goes right into becoming besties with the crew while still definitely thinking Edward is going to have him murder all of them in a few weeks. Ivan watches Izzy get banished, sleeps on it, and then fucking bounces with his buddy to go meet up with him... And then they praise Edward's punch and mutiny Izzy later! It's fun to think about!

...but I suppose my interest in Fang and Ivan does connect back up with my Izzyposting fairly often (since I like analyzing how characters interact and relate, and these two interact with Izzy), so how about another character?

Oluwande.

Now obviously the well trodden path here is TealOranges thoughts and feels. Plenty of drama, development, struggles, etc. But actually what I most want to know about Oluwande is how he and Spanish Jackie know each other???

Like what was up with that??? 👀👀👀

Their interaction gives off sorta inner circle vibes to me. Jackie clearly suspects / knows he betrayed her, but she calls him over to chat like old friends and Oluwande is expected to play along to act normal. So like... Was that normal? Did he regularly sit at Jackie's table and chat about life with her? Jackie does not have the time of day for her own husbands' problems most of the time - she seems to reprimand Geraldo for expecting more attention than the others - but immediately asking after Oluwande's life doesn't ping "oh she's definitely onto us" for him???

I don't think he's a husband (feels like it would have been addressed) and them being related seems unlikely. He's got a good head on his shoulders but he's clearly not some notorious pirate or outlaw of great skill. Like Oluwande is just some guy! But also some guy that Jackie was personally invested in!

And then bringing Jim into this... So Oluwande is just some guy in Jackie's inner circle, finds out the new barmaid is out to kill Jackie's favorite husband, and just helps them out??? My dude??? He doesn't even get whirlwind romance privileges. He did all that for a mysterious yet compelling stranger and no shit is this man crazy enough for the Revenge.

My headcanon re: the murder is that Alfeo was universally loathed and literally only Jackie and his gang liked him. So when people (and let's be honest Jim is not the most subtle of assassins so probably more than just Oluwande) realized someone was legit after him, they pretty much shrugged and sent them good thoughts. Also I think Oluwande and Jim had a solid plan to get away with killing Alfeo that went completely sideways, which is how they ended up hiding on a pirate ship pretending they knew how to sail. Oluwande didn't actually intend to completely ruin his status with Jackie and he does lowkey regret it in some ways, so he's gonna be thrilled when Jim tells him all about how they are cool with Jackie now and he can go back to the bar to hang next time they are in Nassau.

Anyway that's another big thing I want from S2 Jackie is Oluwande backstory, because that would be such a treat.

#our flag means death #people add your stuff!#(also i find it bitterly amusing that people use the passion with which izzy takes are defended as proof of bias)#(like i will argue izzy can read way harder than anyone argues the frenchie is just faking being illiterate headcanon)#(but that's because frenchie takes get 'lol awesome' and izzy takes get 'how dare you imply he's better than everyone else like this?!?')#(and i fight for my life every day to give edward the same or greater depth i give izzy 😔)#anyway my compelling side characters are #fang ofmd #ivan ofmd #spanish jackie ofmd #ladyluscinia #oluwande boodhari ofmd

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inkstainedhandswithrings · 1 year

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TBB S2 EP 8 SPOILERS BELOW CUT

frick man

OKAY HAPPY THOUGHTS FIRST HAPPY THOUGHTS FIRST

I love how when Rex called Echo was just like "jup on our way" even though Hunter was like ":/". He took charge and the rest of em just went with it. Love that for him

I KNOW THIS IS A DETAIL BUT THE FACT THAT REX IS WEARING ACTUAL BOOTS WITH HIS CIVVIE OUTFIT???? idk man just,,, cute

Also I was literally so worried for him during that shootout on the venator bc like,,, he don't have any armour anymore?? what if he gets shot?? (ik he has plot armour but I would love some real armour as well, thanks)

Chuchi was amazing!!!! I hope we get to see more of her!

In the end I did feel sorry for Rampart. Its true, he was following orders. He is just another plot device for the emperor to use so that his will is done. He wasn't innocent, but he was still made into a scapegoat

ALSO FCKING SHIT I HADE PALPATINE!!! Like, I knew the clones were gonna get decommissioned, but still, THEY ARE NOT DROIDS TO SIMPLY BE SHUT OFF!!

Am still loving the fact that Chuchi is fighting for their rights and how much "clone politics" we got these last two episodes. Makes me think that maybe Filoni was listening (makes me hope for canon Foxiyo ngl)

okay

sorta sad thoughts time now

gonna tag @saturn-sends-hugs bc I wanna see her opinion on this too :')

First of all, sorry friend ik you didn't want this to happen

I've seen this issue on tumblr a lot, of people being scared that Echo will leave and I've stayed quiet abt it till now

But I actually saw it coming and,,, I approve

I just think it's who Echo is. I think it's just so him to care about the future of all clones, to care about larger scale issues in the galaxy, to want to stay in the big fight. The batch "abandoned" the big issues in the galaxy a while ago, but I know Echo. He believed in the Republic more than most other clones. Sure, almost all of them fought for the Republic, but we all know there were certain clones more patriotic than others (like Jesse, Cody and Rex). There were certain clones who put more emphasis on loyalty than any other quality, and I think Echo was one of them. Still is. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay out of the fight for long, I knew he would eventually split off from the batch and I think that's okay. He and Hunter are different people, with different goals and different futures. And I'm a 100% they'll be reunited eventually, but as Echo said, this is something he has to do. This is who he is, at his core. It's not who Hunter is, it's not who the batch is. The Batch have always been slightly,,, detached from the other clones, while Echo was always focused on the big picture, the unity and brotherhood that the clones shared. It only makes sense for him to leave now.

Think abt the beginning of the episode, where he tells Omega he doesn't like being alone, he got enough of that on Skako. Goes to show how he was used to always being surrounded by brothers, how much he loved it and them. Why abondon them when they need him most?

That being said, I do hate that we'll likely see less of him now, especially after he got so little development in recent eps

I am hopeful, however, that maybe this means we get to see him working together with Rex and his development happing apart form the batch but still on screen. Either way, I stand by what I said. This is where Echo needs to be right now.

#this was #amazing #and painful #and incredible #and agonising #what an episode #star wars #the bad batch #captain rex #arc trooper echo #tbb echo #tbb s2 #tbb s2 spoilers #tbb spoilers

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cray-cray-anime · 1 year

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David analysis - his parents and Cameron

It's already been implied how david sees Cameron as a father figure and in the truth serum episode said

"He's like the father I never had"

So there's some implications his actual dad is estranged or abandoned him.

So clearly latched onto the first validation by an adult Cameron. Which has made him look the other way on Cameron's shady businesses.

So perhaps even he was estranged to his mum. I mean he was so happy about just getting a badge. Maybe why his parents won't show up in the show.

While not sure how truly censored those stories are, david really did seem like he hated everything at camp as a kid like max. But unlike max, he was quick to get attached which shows how starved he really was for positive reinforcement. And Cameron easily manipulated david to continue to believe Cameron as a "positive role model".

Max is definitely neglected, however he's more jaded in that he avoids getting attached as he thinks he'll get screwed over it for it thus try to remain distant and disinterested.

Given both jasper and David's account, either the bear story was a true flashback (and david wasn't too "bad" a kid) or david is aware of Cameron doing shady things (killing the bears, almost kill him, was gonna leave david stranded), but chooses to ignore it to "try to see the positive things" in Cameron. Though I'm leaning on the former given I don't think david would know Cameron was gonna kill him ir strand him (though it be funny lil david swore like that).

If it's the latter, it could be some messed up implications of david being used to people like Cameron who does shitty things but doesn't seem so bad or could be overlooked with all the "good" things they do.

And yet in the end, david still wants him to be better person and willing to do so even if through questionable methods. I think even if a part of him hates or doesn't forgive Cameron, that another can't just let go.

Like it's understandable when we put a lot of effort, time and feelings for someone it's hard to just undo it all. Some part of david still latches onto Cameron to be good, to be like how he always thought of him as. To just have a chance for someone that hurt him actually feel sorry for what they did and try to change for the better. To get some positive relationship with the person he clearly held so dearly.

Especially when that person is a replacement of the parental relationship he never had before.

But I think what really messed up is jasper. We now know canon, jasper died in a mining accident yet how much does david and Cameron know?

Since it didn't take long from david leaving jasper and jasper dying, the explosion must've been heard. So what kept david going to Cameron and did Cameron even bother to find jasper or he did and tries to cover it. He did say

"Aw, we lost another one" -s2 finale

"Ye what did you-" s3 e7 when max talked about the kid that died

David could very well been too scared to go back or try to ignore the strange happening. But given how he acted in dial M for jasper, he likely repressing what happened and while he could've been trying to cover up to the kids jasper died, he mentions both "childhood version of your friend" and was ready to go to spooky island which could mean spooky island itself isn't triggering.

And whichever Cameron did, he most likely told david jasper left early and again david latches onto it because the other possibility of what happened is just too much for his child brain and the fact its still covered up shows that noone else knew and so noone could really help him.

And the fact jasper met david at summer camp meant david wouldn't have even really had a chance to contact jasper parents who would have to know their child missing.

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cannibalismyuri · 1 year

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van scene dialogue analysis

thinking about the van scene again (what's new?) but this time, one specific part. "it's just that she's (i'm) so different from other people. and when you're different, sometimes, you feel like a mistake. but you make her feel like she's (i'm) not a mistake at all. like she's (i'm) better for being different." now buckle up, because this is gonna get long. the thing is, this veiled confession was veiled. as in disguised. this means that everything it contains is objectively true because there was no need for will to lie. let's get really into it now.

"it's just that she's (i'm) so different from other people." why is he different from other people? there are multiple reasons beside his sexuality actually, one is definitely that he's been exposed to so much and at such a young age that it would've permanently altered his thought process and perception of self and the world to be so traumatized at such a young age. and the worst part is that people won't let him go with that image they've set up for him even if its out of love. he's constantly being reminded of the fact that he's different because of the horrible things he's gone through, that in turn reminding him of the things he's gone through. it's just a vicious cycle. and will's said this before in s2. he's talked about how joyce and other people "babying" him makes him feel like even more of a freak because he can't escape from the constant alienation (again misguided alienation done our of love from joyce) from his peers and family. and maybe trying esp hard to move on or be normal isn't the most healthy response to this but it's healthier than constantly being reminded that there's a rift between him and his peers because of reasons he can't even control.

"and when you're different, sometimes, you feel like a mistake." now this part i believe adds in to his sexuality, because technically the first part of his problems are not because of him. they can be played off as some otherwordly force and destiny, but this most likely won't be will's thought process. but will feels like a mistake. something that went awry in the code. 0s and 1s but he suddenly was a 2. anyway, a mistake is something you make. and i think that's the factor at play here. will feels like a mistake because he wasn't able to shove down the gayness in him. he wasn't able to keep it down until it got squashed deep in his gut and he never thought about it. i think this is why he had such a visceral reaction to "it's not my fault you don't like girls" because he's been trying and trying to not let it show and his best friend saw and knew and alienated him again, but in the bad way, which he never did before. infact he never alienated him like that before either. so it hurts more. so i believe that will was talking about his sexuality in this part (not fully, he still does feel like a mistake bc of ptsd/supernatural elements) but since he believes that he's made himself a mistake by not pushing his sexuality down further, and allowed himself to be different for reasons he feels like he can control (NOT TRUE).

"but you make her feel like she's (i'm) not a mistake at all. like she's (i'm) better for being different." THIS is why will byers will get a happy ending. because mike has consistently been a person that's never babey'd him and alienated him and caused him to hate himself for something he couldn't control. mike has however caused him to hate himself for doing something he believes he can control, and will thinks that if he can't push it down, it might as well come out. and we've been told this by one half of the ship himself that he feels like he doesn't have to push his gayness down (make himself a mistake) around mike (HENCE THE CONFESSION) and he's the one who didn't make him feel alienated for something he couldn't control. also there's the point of him saying "i'm not gonna fall in love" in s3, which was actually that he wouldn't get the chance to fall in love normally. yet another thing that alienates him from the masses. so for his character arc to end satisfyingly, he should be able to NEVER feel like a mistake, or that he's worse for being different and he SHOULD be able to get to experience love like everybody else. his opinions about himself should be disproved! the only conceivable option for his arc to end satisfyingly is byler endgame <3

some inspiration taken from this post by @bylertruther and this post by @folkloresprjng

#will byers #will byers analysis #will byers character study #character study #byler #byler analysis #byler endgame #byler proof #give will byers happiness challenge 2k22 #the van scene #stranger things (sara's version)

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