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#like I was going to do a video review on it and everything
misscammiedawn · 2 days
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Watching the latest Philosophy Tube video (hey, we graduated the same vocal school! Awesome!) after having spent my morning reviewing the "how to announce your transition" guidelines for at work on behalf of the HR department.
And I'm thinking about what I'd say to 2018 Camden.
To the monogamously married man with a mortgage and a successful career he just received a major award for, who spends every major holiday with his found family, can stand to talks to members of his biofam across the pond and has no idea we have a dissociative disorder.
How could I convince them we'd lose all of that. That every fear we had will come true. That we'd abandon it all by choice and somehow end up happier (except for the pandemic that has had us locked indoors for 4 years, no I'm not kidding, I'm sorry. This coming decade is going to suck, but we'll be happier in our existing in the crappier world) in the end?
I don't think I could. We were plugged into The Matrix at the time and those still plugged in are subject to The System. We'd die to protect it all the way until we are unplugged.
That haunting ending to I Saw The TV Glow? That was us 5/6 years ago.
I think I'd not tell try to convince them. They got there in the end. It was hard for us too.
I'd be honest with them about one thing that still gets us, the pain that never goes away. To this day.
"Some days, you'll think it's too much for you. It's too big. It's too difficult. Some days it will drain you dry to think we have to keep this up forever. That we can't keep up the "act" and trying to perform our voice, to endure the hair removal, to feel like we're Doing It Wrong. Some days we'll want to quit "
and I'd look into those blue eyes that sparkle like mine and hear a deeper voice reply:
"Same here, though. Being a bloke 24/7 is hard as fuck. I always feel like I'm doing it wrong and that I don't think I can keep this shit up forever, either. I hate my voice. Hate my jawline. Hate my skin. I hate just about everything but my hair."
...and I don't know.
Recognizing that my weakest moments are just me feeling how I used to feel all day every day forever and ever?
It helps remind me... that pain is a passing moment. Just a reminder of how it used to be.
Still exhausting, though. But I'll keep up with the voice work and learn how to do make-up and work out my fashion style and be the best woman I can be.
Oh and continue taking care of the hair. But that was never an issue. We love our hair. Always have.
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fairuzfan · 4 months
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The thing with news sources and deciding what's trustworthy and what's not is that when you see criticism of Aljazeera (which to be clear is not a great news source about anything other than Palestine) is that they completely neglect to mention that each regional section of Al-Jazeera has different people in charge of it, different contributors, different sources.
By all means, analyze your sources and understand what information you're getting but to say outright that ALL of what AlJazeera reports EVER is wrong is inherently meant to discredit Palestinian journalists in a way that no other journalist who is not Palestinian and NOT directly experiencing the war in Gaza has been discredited. Surprisingly (not really but), a lot of Palestinians in Gaza are employed by AlJazeera because it's difficult for them to find employment elsewhere.
And again, I do not love AlJazeera. I think they do plenty of faulty journalism and reporting and I actively avoid them for most news sources. But RIGHT NOW with everything going on in Gaza, they're probably one of the most trustworthy ones because of their first hand accounts and willingness to publish Palestinian voices, which many, MANY news stations refuse to do. I especially encourage the Arabic version of AlJazeera!
Like Haartz has like... 4 Palestinians on their editorial team max, and they have EVEN LESS people on the ground in Gaza whereas we have dozens of reporters from Gaza on Al-Jazeera, many of which have died. The way to fact check your news is you find how many times they link factual evidence (like videos of experiences, primary accounts, primary quotes) and compare it with circumstance of publishing.
Here are some ways to fact check and questions to ask, even when looking at Al Jazeera:
Is this a first hand account? If not, does it name a person who experienced this first hand?
If they cite/name a person who experienced it first hand, are they a trustworthy person? What are their ties to the situation? Why would they report this, have they reported situations like this in the past?
What would the person reporting gain from reporting this? A Palestinian with an Instagram post about their life in Gaza has much less to gain than an Israeli soldier publishing their experience in Gaza, for example.
In the first hand account, are there actions or evidence that is corroborated? IE: There was a video of an Israeli soldier abducting a blonde Palestinian, and there was a Human Rights Org that reported child abductions from evidence gather by an on the ground reporter. There is less of a chance that this is false, therefore.
If you don't see other news sources reporting this (ie, you don't see CNN/NYT/BBC/Fox/any other western-led media outlet) then ask: Why would they not report it? Does that mean it's false? Maybe not. Many Euro-american sources spend MONTHS before they talk about an issue (think: Washington post article "questioning" the evidence of Hamas in Al-Shifaa hospital more than a month after the raid happened)
Defining "Trustworthy":
What is their history on reporting events? Are they someone who is well known in whatever community they represent?
Think: Ghassan Abu-Sitta, a world renowned doctor. When he reports something with his name attached, he is putting his entire reputation on the line. Therefore, it is more likely he is telling the truth.
Are they someone who has any real, structural power over the situation? Maha Hussaini, for example, cannot change her circumstances because a ceasefire relies on other people separate from her, a journalist. Therefore, she has less of a reason to lie about things happening to her.
For the news source: what are their ties to the situation? CNN, for example, has stated they have their content reviewed by the IDF. Wael Al-Dahdouh, before he was evacuated, was providing first hand accounts of situation, meaning its difficult for him to fake anything or misrepresent.
What else has this person/news source reported? What are their political leanings — not just left/right, but what are their general stances on a variety of issues?
How many people who are part of the community impacted are part of reporting on this (IE: How many Palestinian POVs are shared, how many Israeli POVs are shared, what are the POVs of the people shared in general?).
Can someone I personally trust vouch for this person? If not, can I ask someone I trust to look over this person/agency and tell me their opinion?
There's for sure more I'm forgetting but these are some ways I personally check my facts and information as a quick rundown. And I see this issue of not knowing how to fact check happen ALL OVER the place, on both sides. So I really, highly encourage everyone to engage with sources more honestly!
You'll make mistakes, everyone does! I do as well! But try to be vigilant about these things so we can ensure that we're spreading accurate information and try to correct information when possible! There's no 100% unbiased source so I encourage you to compare/contrast information and your understandings of the world to fully comprehend the situation!
Please use these questions when checking ANY news source, even Al-Jazeera!
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star-sim · 5 months
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"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha maknaes
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☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen maknae line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, very dumb, jelly boys ☆ warning(s)? no! ☆ ygs seemed to like the hyung version so here's the maknae version!! reblogs and comments are appreciated <3
hyung ver.
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sunoo ☆
OKAY HEAR ME OUT
this one is gonna be a lil different
paranormal investigator sunoo
he's like buzzfeed unsolved
and for one of his seasons, he goes and investigates haunted places and reviews their histories yk?
for the season finale
sunoo visits the bellaire house, which is notorious for being super haunted and ghost-infested
i like to think that sunoo is honestly skeptical abt ghosts
like he definitely has tried to talk to them, but hasn't discovered anything conclusive to definitively prove the existence of ghosts
anyways because it's the season finale
sunoo has a special guest...
you! his gf!
i think he'd be low key about your relationship, but his viewers know who you are
the video starts off normal
sunoo gives a rundown of the history of the bellaire house, like when it was built, the people that lived in it, the strange occurences in there, etc
the bickering between you and sunoo as you go over the bellaire house is very cute and sweet
it definitely makes it into those "sunoo and [name] being a comedic duo" compilations aw
anyways now its time to investigate the bellaire house head on 😈
sunoo pulls out all his cool ghost-catching gadgets
he tries everything
like the thermal camera, EMF meter, even the goddamn magnetic field detector
sunoos getting annoyed bc why are none of the ghosts talking to him :(
on the other hand
you're clinging onto him, hiding behind ur bf scared shitless
i mean like.... why would you not the bellaire house is known for having DEMONS 😭😭
sunoo huffs and turns to the camera, "welp it looks like there's no ghosts here"
one of the people in his camera crew suggest having you ask instead of him
even though youre scared you do it for ur bf
you're like "hi ghosts..... if you're here with us... please flicker the lights"
.
.
.
THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO FLICKER AAAAAAAA
AND SUNOOS HYPED OUT OF HIS MIND
"BABE BABE BABE ASK THEM THEIR NAME"
so youre like "ghosts... whats your name"
and NO JOKE
A WIND BLOWS PAST THE ROOM
AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SWEARS THEY HEAR SOMEONE WHISPER FAINTLY
"robert"
so that's how you and sunoo meet robert the ghost
BUT THAT'S NOT THE END
BECAUSE SUNOO HAS THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF PULLING OUT HIS OUIJA BOARD
tbh you both look dumb as hell
sitting on the crusty bellaire house floor
hunched over a ouija board
sunoo is now asking questions
but the ouija board doesn't even move
but when you ask
"robert, how are you today? yes for good, and no for bad"
THE GODDAMN PLANCHETTE MOVES TO YES AKA GOOD 😭
you and sunoo then introduce yourselves
again, when sunoo introduces himself nothing happens
but when you introduce yourself
the candle that's lit beside you goes out
someone in sunoo's camera crew jokes that they think that robert the ghost likes you
so sunoo jokingly asks "robert are you flirting with my girlfriend?"
AND THE OUIJA BOARD SAYS YES 😭😭😭
and when you kiss sunoo the doors in the house start slamming and shit like SOMEONES MAD
sunoo is lowk offended
and then he starts to beef with robert the ghost
except robert the ghost never respond to anything that sunoo says
bro leaves sunoo on heard
sunoos like "HEY ROBERT I DON'T CARE IF YOURE A DEMON YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP!!"
later when ygs review the emf recorder it picks up robert the ghost whispering "i don't care 🙄"
sassy ass ghost
on the other hand
robert responds to EVERYTHING you say
atp you're not scared anymore
"hai robert i'm [name], knock over that doll over there if you want to be my friend"
and the doll knocks over 😭
"robert knock on the window if you think i'm cute :3"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
the camera crew is just laughing their asses off
at some point
the ouija board starts moving on its own
everyones like WOAHHH IT'S ACTUALLY MOVING!!! QUICK GET A PIECE OF PAPER SO WE CAN RECORD WHAT ITS SAYING!!!
sunoo is taking such dilligent notes
it starts with i, then s, then it spells out your name, and then s, i, n, g, l, e
" ' IS [NAME] SINGLE' ???"
is what the ouija board says
yes a goddamn ghost just asked that
SUNOO IS NOT HAVING IT
while you and the camera crew are cracking up
sunoo starts telling off robert
"listen bro just because you died in the bellaire house doesn't mean that you can try to take my gf 😐"
robert the ghost is being sassy too
so sunoo literally just snaps the ouija board in half
"haha you can't talk anymore robert .😐."
yk how in buzzfeed unsolved they take turns staying in the haunted place alone with all the lights off
sunoo kicks everyone out so that he can have a "man to man" talk with robert
robert isn't a physical person but everyone swears they hear crying
.... and it sure isn't coming from sunoo 😇
i think this would go really viral
"[name] is so beautiful that even dead people want her"
"robert the ghost is so me"
"even ghosts aren't immune to beautiful women"
"robert saw a hot woman and took his chance"
this would become an inside joke within sunoo's fandom fs
sunoo isn't having it though
he definitely still tweets about it
"i remember when some loser ghost tried to take my girlfriend"
"robert fuck you i'm glad you died"
"see you hell robert"
i def think robert is scared of sunoo now
LMAO
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jungwon ☆
jungwon is documentary youtuber
he likes to make short documentaries about topics that he likes
kinda like wendigoon or fern or real horror
i feel like he'd have a super high quality mic that's super crisp
i think he'd like to make iceberg videos, or videos about obscure missing people stories
anyways
jungwon has a whiteboard that he uses to explain things
esp like timelines
but in one of his videos he doesn't use the whiteboard so it's in the background
so you write a little message on it
its just a very simple
"[name] was here :3 !!"
i feel like only a few people notice it
but as more and more videos pass
and jungwon doesn't use the whiteboard
your little messages get bigger and bigger
until one day the entire board is filled up with just "[NAME] WAS HERE!!!"
sorry i think a lot of jungwon's viewerbase would be redditors, just given what his content is like
r/jungwon LMAAOAOAO
on there someone brings it up
theyre like "who is [name]"
some ppl suggest that it's probably a friend or his gf
it's pretty chill tbh, his viewerbase isn't really too concerned
until one day
jungwon does one of those investigating 411 missing persons cases
except ygs live near one of the places where someone went missing
so he's physically walking along the path where someone went missing as he tells the story
poor baby is lowk kinda scared tho so he takes you along with him
youre mostly behind the camera but you do talk
at the beginning of the video he's like
"hi guys i'm joined by my girlfriend today"
you pop into frame to say hi
anyways like i said you do talk during this video
like as jungwon tells the story you're reacting behind the camera
"it's crazy that a 4 year old traversed 30 miles up a mountain in a matter of 30 hours..."
and behind the camera you're like "omg no way that's wild 😱😱😱"
youre like genuinely invested
you're also cracking a lot of jokes w him too
its really sweet bc most of his videos jungwon is alone, but since youre in this w him, he's smiling so much ;(
and like everytime he makes a joke you can see him looking off-camera to look at your reaction
and when you laugh everyone can literally see how proud he is
this video so SUPER well received
his comment section is so sweet
"i've never seen jungwon smile so much, he's so in love with [name] :("
"the way you can tell jungwon is proud when [name] laughs at his jokes"
but i think the most common type of comment are those type stamp ones
"at 1:23 [name]'s laugh is so cute!"
"0:58 when the camera panned over to [name] my jaw dropped... she's gorgeous!"
"5:29 [NAME] IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HER"
"at 4:40 i love the way [name] completes jungwon's sentence, i've never seen two people that are just so perfect for each other"
yk how on youtube there's that feature where you can see the most replayed part?
when you pop into frame that's the most replayed part of his video 😭
his viewerbase on reddit probably posts you
like its a screenshot from the video and theyre like "it's [name]! the one on the whiteboard!"
i think his fanbase would be really nice on reddit too :(
"she's so pretty!"
"jungwon has immaculate taste"
indeed he does <3
he's so proud of you, like i think he definitely looks at the comments and screenshots them to keep reading them
like YES THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND
HOWEVER
jungwon makes those "going through my subreddit" videos
and he comes across a post hyping you up
at first hes liek "YES YES YES MY GF IS SO BEAUTIFUL"
but then the comments on the post are like
"she's so beautiful, do ygs think she's single?"
"hi [name] 😏 (i am the ceo of amazon and read feminist literature books btw)"
obv all jokes
and jungwon's face visibly drops
he gives the camera a MAD side eye
a STINK EYE
jungwons like "all right, who said that 🤨"
AND THEN HE REPORTS AND BANS THEM 😭
he makes posts on his subreddit like "all of u are going missing next time i see shit like this"
HELP
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riki ☆
sorry he's a shitposter
i think riki posts those genshin impact and fortnite playthroughs
but he also posts other gamer things
but he actually has a good fanbase
he's at like 900k subscribers even though he doesn't have a fixed upload schedule or specific genre of post
he's never showed his face like ever on his channel, but he definitely shows his personality through editing, video descriptions, and community posts
one day though
riki randomly posts a video titled "me and my girlfriend at the arcade"
and its a video of you and him on an arcade date :(
the majority of it is him behind the camera recording you as you play games
the way you can hear him chuckling behind the camera as you have cute reactions :((((
but there's also times where he's on camera
like when he's playing with the claw machine
and bc riki is a pro
he wins a you giant teddy bear!!
your cute lil cheers when he wins are like the most replayed part of the video
he takes such cute pictures of you hugging the bear aw
honestly his viewers are surprised when he posts the video
bc he used to be posting genshin impact videos why is there a vlog
but theyre not complaining
this video becomes one of his most viewed
since youre most of the video there's a lot of comments abt you
and i think his audience is close enough with riki to shit on him LMAAOAO
"[name] is so sweet i wanna hug her"
"i wish i was a teddy bear..."
"SHE'S SO CUTE"
"move aside riki"
"is [name] single by any chance"
"omg who is that weird random guy (riki) that keeps coming near you [name] is he bothering you queen"
"[name] who is this random guy are you cheating on me"
riki responds to these comments too
"you can't have her" "too bad she's lying in my arms right now" "she just kissed me" "do want want my girlfriend or a black eye"
he definitely starts fights
i think his video is so viral that he gets ppl outside his audience
and some ppl get mad when riki fights back 😭😭😭
“why is he fighting people they’re clearing joking” and riki responds like “yeah why is he fighting 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡”
and then riki gets petty
and makes a video called
"addressing everything."
its like a logan paul apology video
it's also like 30 seconds 😭
"hi all... i just wanted to come here and apologize... for having a HOT GIRLFRIEND" and then he flips off the camera and it cuts off with you saying "babe?--"
lowk goes viral for it LMAO
behold the keyboard warrior trilogy- heehoonki ☠️
in the future riki does post more of your cute vlogs
and in the descriptions he's just ranting abt how much he loves you
lowk all the vlogs are basically just him admiring you
cuties
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cheesiedomino · 3 months
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RentABoyfriend.com ꙳ ੭ * ‧
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synopsis: you’re tired of being single so you to take an unusual route in helping with that— but what happens when you start catching real romantic feelings for your rental boyfriend?
genre: seo changbin x fem!reader | fake relationship/dating au wc: 5.1k tags/warnings: fluff, v minor angst, mild cursing, (kinda) nerdy changbin, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol usage, just overall very cute story dw <33
[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]
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“I have a date tomorrow guys.”
Everyone’s head instantly lifts up from their phones at this sudden announcement, collectively drawing their attention at you. You weren’t expecting all of them to gasp and swap such looks of genuine confusion. It’s starting to make you think maybe this situation was a lot more serious than you’ve bargained it out to be.
You couldn’t fathom it either honestly, the realization of you going out with someone probably won’t settle in until you’re physically on the date. Based on their initial responses though, you might regret everything you’re about to say, but it’s far too late to retract any of your statements now.
“No way.. with who??” Danielle is the first out of everyone to ask.
Taehyung chimes in as well, “Yeah, who’s the lucky person? They’ve gotta be something seriously special to be talking to you.”
Well, you suppose you could put it that way.
You already have a preconceived notion of what they’re going to think of this “idea”. Mentally preparing yourself to receive a flood of questions and critique from your close friends.
“Actually… I rented him. For the week.”
Now they’re all looking at you like you’ve officially lost it. The room got scarily quiet, no one wanted to be the first to speak. You should’ve anticipated on their reactions being like this, it isn’t everyday someone just openly admits to buying a partner online. Nowadays there’s a lucrative market for just about anything, when you stumbled upon an ad for this service called ‘RentABoyfriend.com’ you didn’t think much of it. You laughed the concept off at first, thinking how lonely people must be to buy someone else’s time.
But the ads kept popping up, they wouldn’t stop showing in almost every YouTube video you were watching— even one of your favorite YouTubers promoted them before! So one day you finally decided to check this website out, you wanted to see what the hype’s all about so you signed up just for shits and giggles. You weren’t expecting to actually be somewhat interested in trying this thing out, but after going through a couple different profiles and reading hundreds of positive reviews you were practically sold.
“You rented out a boyfriend..? Seriously ___? I mean, I’m not judging but you’re a gorgeous girl you can easily get a boyfriend without paying for someone’s companionship, I don’t see why you need to rent one.” Mark bluntly expressed his opinion, he was probably the most outspoken out of all of you guys.
Taehyung and Danielle both agreed in unison, it’s practically 3 against 1 at this point. You knew you should’ve waited to tell them but you weren’t anticipating on them being this judgmental about it. You were hoping for a little more support, as they’re all way more experienced than you in the dating scene and could lend some helpful advice about your first date, ever.
See, the thing is you’ve never tried dating before so you wouldn’t know the first thing about it or what to expect from your future partner. You’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone held hands or kissed someone of the opposite sex. Being in your twenties it’s kind of embarrassing to say you’ve never done those things, but you thought what better way to try it out than renting a full-on experience that can give you just that? Well minus the kissing part, but you can make it work.
You were skeptical of doing this whole ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ thing at first because you didn’t think there’d be anyone you’d find suitable enough. A big part of the reason that you’re still single is because you’re extremely picky, you want to date a guy who’s so perfect that he must’ve came straight out of an indie romance film. Your friends would tease you for having such unrealistic standards when it came to dating but you were the all-or-nothing type, you’ll be single with fifty cats before you settle for less. Renting a boyfriend is definitely an unconventional idea of easing into dating but you thought it might be worth a try anyway.
What’s the worse that could happen?
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( 1 day earlier )
Hovering your cursor over the bold red text of the website, you read over the main rules before going on to select the person you want for your date.
‘The rules are simple:
You are allowed to see only ONE person at a time, if you want to switch boyfriends you’ll have to pay a $50 fee.
MUST be over 18 to rent a boyfriend, we have implemented an age verification system before the date as we do not tolerate anyone under this age to use our services.
NO kissing, or sexual intimacy allowed. If this is found out later on by our agency we will terminate your contract and ban you from using our services in the future.
Remember to have fun !! ^_^ Our services are great for people who are new to dating or have never been in a relationship. We provide the ~ultimate~ boyfriend experience to all our clients. Customer satisfaction is 100% guaranteed ! (NO REFUNDS)’
Well jeez… they seemed a bit strict but you can deal with those rules and restrictions for the most part.
After hours of skimming through hundreds of profiles, you have a hard time choosing which you like most. Did you want an artsy, shy kind of guy? The tattooed, bad boy aesthetic type? You really couldn’t pick one until you stumble upon a particular profile that catches your eye almost immediately.
SEO CHANGBIN | 168 CM | PART-TIME LIFEGUARD | 24 | *POPULAR ↝
5 Facts About Me: I’ve traveled to over 50+ different countries and counting (ask me which my favorites are), I can speak 4 languages (working on my fifth), love to sing and used to have a rap trio with my buddies from college, I can & will easily lift you up ;) also have a secret talent for cooking, there’s nothing I can’t do!
Why Choose Me? First of all, why not choose me? I’m the best candidate for whatever kind of date you need, something casual, social gatherings, weddings, you name it! I’m very social and can make most people laugh (unless they’re the literal Grinch reincarnated), I’m able to get along well with anyone and just love to have a good time. I hope we can get to know each other and make great memories in the future :)
Going through his pictures you couldn’t believe someone was capable of being this humanely attractive. Don’t even get started on those impeccable muscles either… He really had to sport them in every other one of his photos, wearing the tightest shirts to show the outline of his insanely sculpted frame. You might have just been mesmerized from his godlike visuals alone. They even had a Valentine’s Day deluxe package that comes with seven dates in total for half the price, which they specified was for a limited time only.
$600 later you’ve got a full week of dates lined up with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in all your years of living. You should’ve definitely went shopping before considering all this because now you actually have a reason to get dolled up for someone.
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You were so nervous about going on this date you almost cancelled last minute out of fear. Typing out several different elaborate paragraphs to Changbin on why you couldn’t make it. You didn’t have his real phone number, it was all through an app facilitated by the rental company that was included in the package. Even though you were feeling overwhelmed and practically shaking with anxiety about meeting up with a guy, you still forced yourself to go anyway. You didn’t just dish out all that money just to not show up and waste his time on top of all that.
Your rental boyfriend texted you the location to meet at, it was near a train station so you both could see each other out in a public open space. The outfit you wore was fairly simple, a black mini skirt with warm tights underneath and a cropped turtleneck sweater. You accessorized the look with some dainty jewelry, a thin scarf, and knee high boots to pull everything together. It wasn’t something you usually wore but you had certain clothes you saved for a special occasion like this.
Upon your arrival, you notice him standing near a vending machine and waves over at you with the biggest smile plastered on his face. You awkwardly wave back, giving a soft smile as you slowly walk up to him. He looks even better in person, you don’t even feel adequate enough to be in such a gorgeous man’s presence. No wonder he’s so popular on the site, he’s practically unreal.
“Hi, you must be ___. It’s so nice to finally meet you, might I add you look really beautiful today, I think you’re making my heart race just by looking at you. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Changbin introduces himself, buttering you up with some sweet compliments before handing you the most insane bouquet of roses you’ve ever seen.
You take the flowers and almost stumble backwards from how heavy they were, “Wow, thank you!” Changbin prevents you from falling, quickly coming up behind you to get your balance back.
“Careful honey, can’t have you injured on our first date!” He voices with concern, “I hope you love the idea I came up with, I’ve only been to this place once before but I’m sure it’s still as fun as I remember it, let’s go!” Eagerly grabbing your hand to begin the journey, he turns around again to examine your body language.
“You seem a little tense babe? Do you need a massage?” He asks in a concerned tone again, this is all really beginning to freak you out. You know this is what you signed up for but this was all starting to feel a bit too personal, all the nicknames and sweet talk he’s giving is just something you aren’t used to.
“Uh, no! It’s o-okay.” You shook your head, denying anything suspicious going on. Truth be told you were barely able to contain your composure right now.
Changbin keeps on insisting, “The massage is included in the package so you don’t have to worry about getting charged extra.”
“N-no it’s okay, really. I’m just nervous that’s all, sorry I just don’t meet up with guys…” you shyly admit, finding it hard to look him in the eye.
He nods in understanding, “No need to be nervous with me sweetheart. I’m here to make you feel as comfortable as possible.” The smile he flashes at you instantly makes you warm on the inside, he seems like a genuine, caring person. You think things might go well for you after all.
The rest of the night was full of only good vibes and laughter by the end of it all. Changbin took you to an adult arcade that had old video games like Pac-Man, Super Mario, and Space Invaders, the other side was a bar where people could sit, drink, and socialize. He bought all your drinks that night, let you use up most of his tokens and overall had the most fun you could’ve ever had with someone. He was so easygoing but also knew when to act super caring and would be all lovey dovey with you. He was gentle, nurturing, and could have conversations about anything. You loved that he’d randomly drop some interesting fact you never knew about, or talked about a certain niche topic that he’d go on multiple rants over. It didn’t feel like you were renting someone out to date you, it felt natural— like you’ve known him for longer than a couple hours. Changbin walked you home and held your hand the entire time, along with the flowers he provided a teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that didn’t scream boyfriend goals then you don’t know what does.
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The next day you wake up to Changbin blowing your phone up this morning. You had over 26 messages from him, which was pretty excessive in your humble opinion. The first thing he said was good morning then he goes on to express how fun yesterday was and he can’t wait to do it again. He even sent a couple mirror selfies of him at the gym, ‘conceited much?’ You thought. But then again, if you were Seo Changbin you’d probably be full of yourself too.
For today’s date you wore a pretty red sundress that made your skin glow in the sunlight. It’ll definitely get him to compliment you even more— which you secretly love when he does. Changbin calls you before he heads out to the date, letting you know how excited he is to see you again. You couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot on the train as you made your way to the destination, thinking about what he’s planned for you two next. This time you’ll be meeting up at a park but you still have no clue what you’re doing.
Changbin texts you where exactly he is in the park, it was pretty huge so it took you a while to get to him. As you get closer you see him sitting on a large blanket by the lake, on top of it were a bunch of different foods and snacks scattered all around that came out of a huge picnic basket. You were speed walking at this point trying to get to him. His arms opened out for a hug and you lean right into him, what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up and lift you in his arms to swing around you like a doll.
“Put me down I’m scared of heights!” You squeal out in fear of being too high up in the air. Maybe you really should’ve taken the bio on his profile more seriously when he mentioned certain things.
Finally putting you down after minutes go by of you protesting, Changbin sits you back onto the blanket. He brought an assortment of breads, cheese, fruits, lemonade that he made himself and a couple seltzers. You’ve never seen anyone put such time and effort into a date before, even being here with him is like living in a daydream. He was definitely succeeding in making you feel comfortable, which is something you never thought was possible with men. He actually took his time getting to know you and didn’t sound arrogant whenever he talked about himself, Changbin was so different than other guys who’ve tried hitting on you in the past. He was actually respectful, intelligent, and could easily carry a conversation without long, awkward pauses.
He was literally everything you’re looking for in a guy. But you’ll be seeing him for this week only then it’s bye bye forever. That revelation makes you a little upset, but you try pushing those thoughts in the back of your mind. It’s irrelevant and unnecessary to think about. Yet you can’t help but wonder about certain things though, wanting to know more about his job and what it’s like on a daily basis for him.
“Can I ask you something? I need you to answer it honestly.” You say out of nowhere, hoping that didn’t come out as weird as you thought.
Changbin nods, “of course, shoot.”
“How many clients do you usually get?”
This question definitely catches him off guard, he’s never really been asked this before and he’s debating on if he should as it might be a breach of privacy.
“I don’t think I can answer that, sorry.” He responds in the nicest way possible, but deep down he wants to know why you’d want to know how many other people he sees a day.
You were going to push him a bit more to try and get an answer but you decide to let it go and just enjoy the rest of the picnic. You didn’t want to bring the mood down with your odd questions and/or end up making him feel so uncomfortable that he won’t want to see you anymore. It was definitely something you shouldn’t have asked but you were curious to know anyway. Overall besides that small incident, you had another wonderful time with Changbin and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come any faster.
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Changbin had a foolproof way of getting you to blush like a giddy high school teen whenever he texted you. He’d always refer to you as ‘pretty girl’ or ‘princess’ which gave you insane amount of butterflies. You loved how clingy he could get and would double text when you don’t reply fast enough, always needing constant attention from you which you never minded giving.
He texted you at around three in the afternoon, proposing his next plan for today’s date.
‘Let’s go out for drinks tonight, it’s all on me ;)’
You liked his message, replying that you’ll be there and put a series of hearts at the end. Speaking of hearts, yours is fluttering at high altitudes from the way you can’t stop thinking about your “boyfriend” Changbin. This has been better than anything you could’ve expected, you never want this week to come to an end. It’s only been three days but you’ve begun to grow feelings for him, they weren’t too strong just yet but they were most definitely there. You couldn’t let that halt you from having a good time tonight, you’ll have to accept it soon enough he’s not your actual boyfriend. He’s doing this because you paid him to, if it wasn’t for your money he wouldn’t be here right now.
‘This relationship is purely transactional’ you unfortunately keep reminding yourself of the reality you’re in. Psyching yourself out of this sudden somber mood that’s consuming you, distracting your pessimism by raiding your closet for some cute clothes to wear tonight’s date. After what seemed like hours of tearing your entire room apart, you decide to settle on this sparkly black mini tube dress, pairing it with a leather jacket and more platform shoes because you’re obsessed with feeling tall. Once it’s 7 PM you head out to the bar you’re seeing Changbin at, he was already waiting for you inside the place. Eyes instantly lighting up when he sees you coming towards him, just like he always does he motions for a hug, pulling you in tightly like he hasn’t seen you in years.
His hugs felt so cozy, like sitting in front of the fireplace on a crisp, snowy winter’s evening. You never wanted to escape the warmth of his arms, it was one of those forms of physical touch that felt so overly personal to you. The thought of him hugging someone the same way he hugs you slightly enrages something in your spirit but again, it isn’t your place to get genuinely upset over him doing his job. You’re not entitled to him exclusively, but you feel like if you keep this up feelings will only continue to develop. This wasn’t something you considered when going into this and now you feel like you’ve just made a huge mistake.
“You okay babe?” Changbin notices you acting a bit strange, choosing not to pursue it after telling him you’re fine. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t want to mess up the flow of the date, instead he orders a drink for the both of you and switches on to a lighter subject. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow at that new centre that just opened last week. I need to buy some new AirPods, I accidentally lost one of them in a taxi..”
“Sure,” you nod at his suggestion, in desperate need of some new clothes anyway. “Sorry about your AirPods, that sucks!”
He takes a sip of his bubbly drink that’s now on the table, “Eh, it’s okay this is probably the fourth time this has happened so far.” This has pretty much become a regular occurrence for him by now.
As the date progresses, things continue getting better. You’re both laughing, engaging in much deeper conversation than ever before. You definitely had more than enough alcohol in your system by now, feeling congested and claustrophobic as more people came into the bar. Changbin takes note of your discomfort and asks if you want to get some fresh air outside, you wasted absolutely no time to agree.
While you two were outside continuing your chat about some wild conspiracy he read about online, Changbin’s attention was soon drawn to a different building nearby. Gazing up in confusion at his sudden outburst of excitement, you wonder where he could be leading you next.
“Noraebang!” He shouts loud enough anyone miles away could’ve heard that, he’s now grabbing your hand to frantically drag you along with him.
You were never one to carry a tune but Changbin was actually very good at karaoke and singing in general, he had such a lovely voice. You could seriously listen to him sing all night— which you basically did since you kept begging for an encore until it hit 4 am. That’s when you both decided to finally call it a night, you wanted to pay for the Uber since he’s paid for all the drinks and every other expenses for today. You felt bad because you were the one renting him to be your boyfriend yet he’s constantly shelling out money left and right. He still insisted on paying and ultimately won the whole debacle, making you swallow your pride and get into the Uber with him. Changbin’s definitely not just someone you’re going to forget about after this week is over. You dread the day this all comes to an end, wishing there was a way to relive these moments again and again.
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“I’m a little under the weather today, sorry I can’t make it Binnie.” Your voice is hoarse from coughing and unbearable throat pain. You’ve already consumed half a bag of cough drops, throat lozenges, and random cold medicine you’ve found in your cabinets.
He sounds mildly disappointed, but springs back up with a new proposal, “I can come over and bring some soup if you’d like!”
You appreciate his gesture but still refuse, you know he’s only saying all this because he has to, not because he wants to. “N-no you don’t have to, I’m sure you can go see other clients today. One less person to worry about right?”
The call went silent for a minute, he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to such a deprecating comment.
“I don’t want to see other clients, I want to see you ___.” He sighs, unwilling to give up so easily, “I’ll be at your place soon, m’kay?” He hangs up before you could even respond or say no again.
You had no choice but to wait for Changbin to show up now. Before you got sick, the last two dates you went on were debatably the best so far. You had gone out shopping together, accidentally wearing almost the same kind of outfit. Changbin was wearing a white graphic tee with blue baggy jeans and you wore something practically identical. The two of you looked like a real, official couple and people would stare as you walked hand in hand, it really did seem like the perfect relationship on the outside.
You got even closer when he came over the following day, resulting in you two cuddling while watching movies and baking cookies. He’s expressed that he’s never been to another client’s home before but it wasn’t “technically” against any rules. The more you kept hanging out together, the harder it was coming to terms with the fact you’re actually falling for Changbin. He made every experience with you more exciting than the last, which he did exactly that night. When the cookies were done you fed a piece to him, making little airplane sounds as you do it, he eagerly takes a bite of the chewy treat and compliments both your efforts.
“These taste way better than I thought, oh my god they literally melt in your mouth. Try it!” He takes another cookie from the tray and feeds it to you this time.
There was something so overly domestic about that moment you couldn’t shake the feelings of wanting to kiss him right then and there. But you can’t. If you did such a thing you’d never be allowed to see him again, plus you don’t want to be known as that one creepy client who just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. As you were cuddling on the couch though, things may have taken a turn for the better… or worse?
Changbin would “yawn” at the movie and subtly wrap his arm around you, he’d subconsciously pull you in closer and it didn’t make it any better that you were under the same blanket. You weren’t complaining at any of this though, you were pretty much in heaven. It took everything in you not to look up and stare, gluing your eyes to the movie that was displayed on the TV. But as the night progressed you were practically snuggling up with him like he was your real boyfriend. The way he’d run his fingers gently down your back, soothing you in a way that could lull you asleep. His touch was the most relaxing thing ever, you were so calm with him and loved how he brought a side of you that’s never been shown. After this encounter you can no longer deny the way you feel— you are officially falling deeply in love your rental boyfriend, Seo Changbin.
The sound of your doorbell ringing alarms you of a new visitor, who was none other than your “boyfriend” waiting patiently outside the door for you. You feel and look like death itself, coming downstairs to answer the door still in your PJ’s and hair a disheveled mess. Every five seconds was interrupted with you coughing your lungs out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Changbin looks thrilled as ever to see you, even when you clearly don’t look your best he’s still coming up to hug you tightly. His hugs are always blocking off your airways from the way his muscles squeeze you, it’s even worse when you’re sick— practically gasping for air.
“Sorry babyy, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day and soon as you said you’re sick I dropped everything to go make you this soup. It’s a specialty I make whenever my friends are sick, the perfect remedy to cure my princess.” He goes into your kitchen to heat up the soup in your microwave, making you wait patiently on the couch as you’re wrapped up in multiple blankets.
Your body feels like it’s -2 degrees, you were freezing. The crazy thing is your thermostat was set to 80 degrees, it was definitely you that was the problem. He propped your feet up on the table, rested a tray in your lap and set the bowl of soup on top. Brushing a couple strands of hair out your face he looks at you intently, examining your symptoms as if he’s a doctor.
“It’ll be okay soon love, I’m here to nurse you back to health again. Can’t see my pretty baby sick like this, makes me all sad.” He pouts, giving you a soft head pat like you’re a delicate kitten.
He takes a spoonful of the hot soup, slightly blowing on it before telling you to open up so you can eat. You don’t know what’s gotten into you but you feel like he’s gone too far with all this. It’s not fair for you to continue on if it’s just become torture now. He’s practically dangling in your face that you’ll never have a partner as perfect as him in your life.
“I- I can’t do this anymore Changbin..” you say lowly, refusing to eat the soup he made.
“What do you mean? I’m just feeding you soup, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to-”
“This isn’t real… none of it is. I’m stupid for even doing this but I was lonely.. I’m sorry but I’d prefer something that isn’t temporary.” You cut him off to express your pent up frustrations, ready to be let down and rejected by him as gently as possible.
“Then let’s make it real,” he proposes without any hesitation, “honestly I stopped faking it around our third date, it was all me after that. I never said anything because well… this is my job and I’ve never fallen for a client before so this is still all very new to me..”
You’d be screaming right now if you weren’t sick, instead you’re internally freaking out at this confession, it feels like your hearts doing cartwheels and somersaults.
“Seriously?” Eyes widening as you look at him, suddenly your body heat rises and you know it’s not because of the soup or the layers of blankets that’s covering you.
He nods, “I thought it was kinda obvious when we kissed yesterday..”
Oh yeah… you forgot that did happen. You thought it was another fever dream you might’ve just made up in your head. You shared your first kiss with someone you deemed so special and important to you, someone you never would’ve guessed could come into your life and shift the entirety of your world like magic. There was no one else in existence you wanted more than Changbin.
“Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to quit your job? I don’t want to be the reason you stop making such good income.. I’ll feel so bad.” You knew deep down you didn’t feel that badly about him quitting to date you instead. It was just the thought of him leaving something he’s been doing for years behind all for some girl he’s known for simply a week.
He shrugs at your comment, “I’ll be just fine, I was planning on finding a new job soon anyway. It gets kinda old after a while, I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time. You were able to get me to open up and show my true self, I could never thank you enough for that ___.” Changbin couldn’t resist the urge to plant a kiss to your forehead.
After everything that’s been said and done. What you’ve come to understand is that love is learned, a development that takes time to grow and blossom into something extraordinary. Just like learning a new language or a musical instrument, we learn love from society and cultures we’re raised in, it’s a beautiful thing once we know how to cherish it. Your newfound romance with Changbin is something you’ll learn to cherish forever and ever.
[End <3].
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slayfics · 2 months
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Idk if you’re still taking requests but i’m down bad for your writings so pls hear me out: imagine giving katsuki a lap dance but even then somehow he’s still the one who holds control over you 🤧
I’m such a lost cause i’m sorry
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You give Katsuki a lap dance.
Warnings: aged up | NSFW themes
1000 words~
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You puttered around the living room, putting things away and cleaning down the table as Katsuki sat on the couch reviewing some work reports on his laptop. Music played off the speaker in the corner of the living room, your playlist on shuffle.
You listened to a variety of music, so the mood changed in the living room drastically from song to song. Currently, an ambient lo-fi song played, as you walked to the kitchen to throw away the cleaning wipes you just used.
You made your way back to the living room and scanned it for any other tasks that needed to be done. Everything looked in order, but you scanned again for something to do. You wanted more excuses to be close to Katsuki's presence as he worked.
You usually weren't this clingy but lately, he had been extra busy with hero work, giving you both little alone time. Deciding the TV could use dusting you walked to the hall closet to grab the duster.
As you made your way to the TV that was across from the couch Katsuki worked on, the lo-fi song changed and another randomly shuffled song played from your playlist. This song had a much different vibe from the lo-fi song. It was a slow sultry song you often put on to hype yourself up before having sex with Katsuki.
Katsuki knew the song well, as he watched you many times come to life for him when it played. He loved how it would instantly boost your confidence, making you feel like the attractive bombshell you deserved to feel like.
Katsuki's eyes flashed to you, "Change that damn song," he demanded.
You shot him a pouty look, "You don't like it?" you asked.
Katsuki clicked his tongue, "That's not the problem. This song- and you dusting the TV like that... can't fucking focus on my work."
"So don't," you said back at him teasingly.
Katsuki raised an eyebrow at you as if to challenge you. You stalked over to him and gently grabbed at his laptop. To your surprise Katsuki let you take it from him and place it on the table.
"Can I show you what I've been practicing?" You asked, climbing onto his lap. Being that you two had little alone time the past few weeks, you had been working up something special for him. After watching a sensual music video, you decided you wanted to give Katsuki a show, specifically a lap dance.
"Go ahead- you have my undivided attention now," he said, crimson eyes staring up at you as you positioned yourself.
Even though the song was perfect, and you practiced many times alone- you felt yourself freeze up under his intense crimson glare. His eyes eagerly watched you, curious to see what you had in mind. But all confidence ran out of your body as his hands grabbed your waist, his expression as intimidating as ever.
"Well? What were ya gonna do brat?" he asked, eyebrow raised.
Your hands rested on his shoulders as you internally yelled at your body to move, but nothing happened, "I was gonna dance for you," you said shyly.
Katsuki's eyes widened, "No shit?" He exclaimed. "Go on I wanna see," he encouraged.
You took a deep breath trying to regain some of your confidence. Noticing this Katsuki encouraged you further, "Come on don't get shy on me now, I want to see what you've been practicing for me," he said playfully slapping your ass. "You look hot as fuck just mounting me so- gonna lose it when you move your hips," he said, hyping you up.
You gave a sheepish smile as you forced yourself to try. You flipped your hair back putting on the confident expression you had practiced many times in the mirror, as your grip on his shoulders tightened and you began to gyrate your hips grinding on him.
Katsuki's eyes hungrily swept over your body as it moved for him. Then you pressed off his lap sinking between his legs, hands now on his thighs as you eyed him seductively making your way all the way down to the floor.
"Oh shit," Katsuki exclaimed taken off guard by your sudden departure. Following the video you'd studied so much, you stood up and turned around, now facing the TV you caught Katsuki's reflection in the dark screen still hungrily eyeing your body. Hands on his knees for support, you swayed your hips from side to side slowly as you sunk again to the floor in between his legs.
Knees on the floor, you removed your hands from his knees and placed them in front of you. On all fours, you slowly leaned forward till your head laid seductively on the floor. Your ass now being on display, you shook it for him.
Katsuki let out a lustful groan at your movements. Feeling all your confidence rush back, you sat up, laying your head back in his lap resting in between his legs, you arched your back and ran your hands seductively down your body eliciting another groan from him.
You moved back up to his lap, still facing away from him you pressed your ass into his lap and started grinding into him, hips swirling. "Fuck," he exclaimed, the feel of you beginning to weaken his resolve.
You stood back up but squeaked out in surprise when Katsuki grabbed your waist and pulled your ass back down. "Nah- do that shit again," He demanded.
You grinded your ass into him once more, a confident smile on your face at his enjoyment.
You flipped your hair again as you turned around, mounting him with a leg on either side of him, you worked your way up his lap. Swiveling your hips into him pressing into the bulge now protruding from his pants. You brought your hands to your chest as you gave your tits a jiggle, your last move before the song ended.
Before you could ask for his opinion Katsuki picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, "Bedroom now," was all he said. Causing your laughter to fill the room.
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Thank you for the request! This was a fun one to write 🤭! I hope I was able to explain the dance well enough!
Shout out to @pastelbakugou and @unofficialmuilover for letting me bug them and give me ideas while I typed this one out 😂!
Tags: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a
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amjustagirl · 2 months
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title: to rebuild a home pairing: kuroo x f! reader genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip! wc: 6.8k m.list
a/n: companion piece to the original love knows not its depth, from kuroo's perspective.
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Kuroo Tetsuro is doing alright. 
He’s deftly juggling the roles life has handed him. His tenth wedding anniversary is coming up. He’s gotten a nice pair of earrings and a reservation at Tokyo’s hottest omakase for you to celebrate. The girls are doing nicely at school - Aiko’s grades are excellent, and Fumiko’s not gotten into any schoolyard fights unlike Bokuto’s trio of sons. His bosses seem happy with him too, paving the way for him to climb the corporate ladder rung by rung. He’s earned each promotion by burning days in the office, nights in the izakayas schmoozing with his bosses, but it’s worth it, even if it admittedly comes at the expense of being with you and the girls. 
It’s a sacrifice he has to make so he can provide you with the fairytale life he’s always promised you. Not that you’ve ever complained about the trade-off.  
“She’s the best wife and mom I could’ve asked for”, he tells Kenma, when the former setter asks about you. “I don’t know how she does it.” 
Kenma frowns. “You make her sound like a video game character.” 
“That’s cos she’s amazing -”
“Kinda sucks that she pretty much has to juggle a full time job and the kids on her own most of the time.”
“She manages perfectly well”, Kuroo enthuses, oblivious to the barb in his friend’s words. “By the time I get home, the girls are in bed, the house is clean, and there’s even a lunch box packed for me each day. She’s a rockstar at work too - should be up for a promotion next financial year.” 
“Huh”, Kenma sniffs. “I wonder when she gets a break.” 
Kuroo’s too distracted by the round of beers that’s delivered to his table to think deeply about his best friend’s apprehension. When he stumbles through the front door that night, he finds you crouched over the coffee table, frantically typing at your laptop. As expected, the girls are in bed, there’s nothing out of place. 
“All good?” he asks you in passing, his mind already filing the tasks on his plate for tomorrow - organising a publicity event jointly held by the JVA and Bouncing Ball Corporation to introduce new national team members, reviewing the proposed budget for this year’s international competitions, popping by the under-19 team to see if there are indeed any promising candidates - he’s already one foot in the bedroom, ready to call it a night. 
He doesn’t notice the violets blooming under your eyes. 
“Mm.” You don’t look up. “Have a good night.”  
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Kruoo Tetsuro thinks he’s doing alright. 
Bokuto Kotaro, for some reason, doesn’t think so. “Mitsuki said you’re lucky you’re not married to her cos she’ll skin you alive”, he informs him, as if Kuroo shares his love for women capable of chomping his head off in one bite.
Maybe the Bokutos operate on a different metric - because yes, they’re the model of egalitarianism with Mitsuki the high powered general counsel for Kenma’s Bouncing Ball Corporation (based on his referral, he likes to add, cos’ it’s funny to watch Mitsuki growl) and Kotaro the part time coach, full time stay at home dad to his wolfpack of sons, but that doesn’t mean his marriage is on the rocks. 
As a child, he was the unwitting witness to his parents’ fights, which culminated in his mother walking out of the door, his father crying over a thick stack of divorce papers. His grandparents took him in, gave him stability and love and comfort but he swore to himself he’s never going to put his daughters through that. 
Sure, it’s been a while since you’ve had a night to yourself. The last time he remembers you taking time away from the girls was to go out for dinner with him to celebrate his latest promotion - his conscience stings a little that he can’t remember the last time you’ve taken a break from everything you’ve been doing for him and the girls, but he’ll make it up to you once he has time. You always understand. 
Still, just to be sure, he checks in on you again. 
“You alright?”, he reaches for your hand, when he climbs into bed that night. 
You’re lying in bed. He should find it odd that you’re still awake at this time of the night, staring up at the ceiling as if there’s something to be found there, but he falls asleep in the slow seconds, doesn't hear your response. When he wakes, you’ve already taken the girls to school. He gets himself ready for work, loops his tie around his neck, grabs his briefcase and the bento you’ve so lovingly packed for him, and hops on the train. He runs through his routine like clockwork, but there’s a niggling feeling that he’s missed something important, possibly something to do with you. 
Did you say something to him last night? 
It doesn’t matter. He makes a mental note to purchase a spa day for you - but that’s promptly forgotten when he’s greeted by a flood of emails and an invitation from his boss to go out for drinks that night. 
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Kuroo still thinks he’s doing alright. 
“You’re lucky”, his boss toasts him. “Your wife doesn’t complain like mine when I go out drinking, even though I tell her I need to do it for work.” 
“She’s an angel”, Kuroo replies, quietly bursting with pride. “Never complains.” 
“Lucky man”, his boss says. “My wife is such a nag.” 
He misses the last train home that night, drops you a text not to wait up and stumbles around Shibuya trying to find a cab. It must be a busy night because by the time he manages to flag down one, it’s three a.m. and his head is pounding from the excess of alcohol and lack of solid food and water. He fumbles with his keys, almost falls through his front door when the lock gives way. “Tadaima”, he says out of habit, too-loudly, before his stomach lurches and he has to make a mad dash for the kitchen sink. 
“Tetsuro?” 
He wants to respond, but he’s too busy emptying out the contents of his stomach. He shouldn’t have woken you up. He shouldn’t greet you with a mess for you to clean up. He shouldn’t lean so heavily on you that you stagger beneath his weight. 
He shouldn’t do all of that yet he does so anyway. You tuck him, a grown man, into bed.
Tomorrow, he’ll apologise. Tomorrow, he’ll make it up to you. 
Tomorrow comes. He wakes up. 
You’re gone. 
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Kuroo Tetsuro is not alright.
He’s ashamed to admit that he doesn’t even notice you’ve taken off until it’s way past lunch when your mother drops him a text to ask if he’s picking up the girls or if he intends to leave them with her overnight. 
“What d’you mean?” he texts her, confused.  
His heart stops when your mother responds to say you dropped off the girls at her place without much of an explanation, an overnight bag slung over your shoulder. You don’t pick up your phones, his calls going straight to voicemail. For the first time in forever, he sheepishly asks his boss for urgent leave from work so he can rush home to figure out what’s going on. 
You always take your laptop with you, but it’s sitting at home. He knows it’s an invasion of privacy, but he types in your password (his birthday), and your web browser reveals a booking for a ryokan in Hakone, where the both of you honeymooned almost a decade ago. It’s an hour away by train, far too much time for him to sit and stew in his thoughts. He wonders if you’ve become sick of your life with him, whether you’ve found someone new, and by the time he’s reached the ryokan and charmed the receptionist to let him into your room, he’s teetering on the edge of giving into his frustration, entertaining thoughts about yelling at you for being so goddamned irresponsible, cos how could you just walk out on him and the girls -
Until you walk in, thankfully alone. 
It strikes him that it’s the most refreshed he’s seen you look in a very, very long time. Your cheeks are glowing, your eyes sparkle, and there’s a spring in your step that he hasn’t seen since you’ve had the girls. 
Still, he can’t help but remain a little peeved. “I’ve been calling you all afternoon”, he informs you. “I was worried.” 
He immediately regrets his words as he watches the light die in your eyes. 
“Were you?”, you ask, as if you were addressing a stranger. “Really?” 
“Of course”, he frowns, slowly getting up to approach you, concerned when you start to sway. “You’re my wife and the mother of our girls, of course I care.” 
Laughter spills from your lips, an undercurrent of bitterness and contempt that’s threatening to drag you under before his very eyes. “If you really cared, you’d have noticed that your wife is broken”, you tell him between gasps, your shoulders caving in. “I tried fixing myself with a break, but you can’t even give me that.”  
He’s starting to realise that things aren’t alright at all. You flinch when he takes a step towards you, an action which stabs him clean through his heart because he’s your husband, your Tetsuro, your person. Tea, then, a neutral offering that manages to calm you down enough to take a seat, even if you’re still shaking, falling to pieces while laughing, laughing -
“Tell me what’s wrong”, he begs. “Tell me what I can do to fix you.” 
You take a sip of tea. It’s hot enough to burn you, but you don’t seem to notice. 
“I can’t do this anymore, Tetsuro.” 
“Don’t say that”, he snaps, his inner child recoiling because he can’t bear to have his girls go through what he went through, wondering if it was his fault, his very existence that caused his parents to split up. “The girls and I need you -” 
You don’t seem to hear him. 
“Princess”, he falls back on his pet name for you, rusty from lack of use. “Come back to me.” 
You’re unmoved, your eyes unseeing, deaf to his pleas. Sip after sip, you gulp down scalding tea, each action jerky, mechanical. Frozen, in an impenetrable placidness that he can’t read. You’re sitting right in front of him but you’re not really there at all.    
“Let’s talk when you’re back home”, he finally says. “Have a good break.” 
The immature little boy that still lives in his psyche is still unconvinced that it’s a bad idea to drag you back home with him posthaste, but you asked for a break, and it’s the least he can give to you.
You allow him to roll out your futon for you, to swaddle you in layers of blankets as if that would keep you from falling apart any further. As he kisses your forehead to bid you goodnight and goodbye, he feels the brittleness of your bones, the thinness of your skin beneath his palms and he spends the hour-long train ride home wondering how he managed to look away long enough for you to turn into a shadow of your past self.   
He goes straight to your mother’s house to retrieve the girls. As penance, he stands at the front door, head bowed, letting your mother yell at him in front of the neighbours for being a useless husband and an irresponsible father. After all, he deserves every word she flings in his face. He’s just thankful that she doesn’t ream him out in front of the girls. 
“Where’s mama?” Fumiko mumbles half asleep into his neck. “Want mama.”
He cradles her closer. “She’ll be home tomorrow”, he tells her, hoping with every fibre of his being that that does not turn out to be a lie. Aiko, older and wiser, just stays quiet, so he forces a smile on his face for her sake.  
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Kuroo Tetsuro is far from okay.
The strain of the day wears on him and he’s sure there are burning emails in his inbox for him to firefight, but there’s a long list of chores to be done in your absence. The girls’ school bags need to be packed (in the case of five year old Fumiko) or checked (for ten year old Aiko), their uniforms to be laid out, the laundry sorted and folded. He barely gets any sleep before he has to hop out of bed to throw together a cold breakfast of milk and cereal that makes Fumiko burst into tears and Aiko’s face droops. By the time he shuffles his two cranky children out of the house and into their respective schools, he’s late for work. 
He meets Bokuto and Kenma for lunch since there’s no lunch bento waiting for him in the fridge, though he regrets the decision to leave the refuge of his work desk for the boardroom of Bouncing Ball Corporation when Mitsuki joins them and, sharp-eyed as ever, sinks her talons into him. 
“You look like shit”, she says to him as a greeting. 
“Thanks”, he grounds out. The girls demanded he work their hair into the neat braids they insisted you always do, so bedhead would have to do for him today. 
“I’ve never seen you without hair gel before”, Bokuto marvels. “You look weird.” 
“I had a crap morning, okay”, he snaps, biting the head off the karaage fish in his store bought bento, which he resents for tasting worse than those you usually make for him. “So I’m sorry if I look slightly less than presentable -” 
“You look like a man whose wife just left him - “ 
Mitsuki’s just stepped right on the wound he’s tried to keep hidden, festering and bleeding beneath his skin, so like an animal lashing out when it’s hurt, Kuroo slaps the table with both palms and snarls. 
“Don’t - don’t fucking say that, okay? She’s just taking a break. She’ll come home.”
He can’t stand to see the shock and pity on his closest friends’ faces. “She’s coming home today”, he repeats softly, almost to himself, as if he’s little Fumiko in need of reassurance that the person she needs most in the world hasn’t just abandoned her. “It’s gonna be okay.” 
Perhaps it’s the maturity that comes with fatherhood, because Bokuto is the first to react. “That’s right, you’re gonna be okay”, he soothes, pulling Kuroo into his seat. “Kenma’s gonna call your boss and tell him that you’re gonna spend the rest of the afternoon here to plan some event - “
“Sponsorship for the Under-19 team, done”, Kenma snaps his phone shut.
“Guys, I’m fine - ” 
“Pretending everything’s okay isn’t going to help.” 
Kuroo deflates. “Thanks, Kenma.” 
Shelving his worthless pride to lay bare the situation he’s found himself in, that by neglecting his duties as a husband and father, he’s forced you to the brink of a mental breakdown, bad enough that you’ve left him - temporarily, he hopes. In the span of a few hours, he’s already found himself at his wit’s end, struggling to handle both the demands of the kids and his job, something that he realises he’s left you to bear, alone. 
“But I can’t figure out why she didn’t just tell me she was feeling overwhelmed”, he says, pulling at a fraying thread in his shirt. “I would’ve listened. I would’ve done better.” 
“She shouldn’t have to tell you to do your part”, Mitsuki waves away Bokuto’s desperate gesture for her not to kick a man when he’s already down. 
“But I didn’t know -” 
“Y’know, I really can’t stand men like you. You guys are amazing at work, able to anticipate your bosses’ and clients’ needs. At this point, you don’t even need to be told by your bosses  to jump, you don’t even ask your clients ‘how high’ - yet, for some reason, you manage to turn off your brain the minute you walk in through the front door at home.”
 “Maybe I should ask her for a list of things I can help her with -” 
Bokuto claps his hand over Mitsuki’s mouth. “Ehhh..you might not wanna finish your sentence or Mitsuki might really bite your head off.” 
Kuroo winces, snapping his mouth shut. 
“Maybe you can think of it in a different way”, Bokuto says. “Instead of ‘helping’ her - cos that’s just placing the mental burden on her - at least, I think that’s the term Mitsuki-chan used when she explained it to me -” the affronted lawyer nods begrudgingly, and beaming, he continues - “you gotta do your half of the work!”
“Level up”, Kenma provides, rather unhelpfully.
“Open your eyes and use your brain”, Mitsuki says bluntly, rolling her eyes, though her tone is less sharp.
“Where do I start?” Kuroo asks. 
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Step one. 
He picks the girls up from his mother in law’s place, bears with the lecture that’s awaiting him, and sheepishly asks them what their mama usually feeds them for dinner and breakfast, making a mental note of it. Tonight, he’ll cheat by feeding them gyudon at Sukiya, but he drops by the supermarket to procure the ingredients he needs for tomorrow’s breakfast and a bouquet of pink roses, even though he knows it’s probably too little, too late. He counts himself lucky that Fumiko loves bathtime, only needing supervision to wash and dry her hair, and Aiko’s responsible enough to work through her homework without prompting, but he’s still exhausted by the time they both head to bed. 
His job doesn’t end there. Running through the checklist Mitsuki begrudgingly allowed Bokuto to give him, he surveys the apartment, comparing it against the mental image of how everything was before you left it. Toys scattered, to be put back in place. Dust on floor, to be vacuumed up. A heap of laundry in the basket, to be hung, dried, ironed. 
Just as he finishes all these tasks, the front door swing opens. 
“Tadaima”, you call out, voice hushed. 
He nearly trips over his feet in his haste to relieve you of your luggage, usher you into a seat by the kitchen counter. “Okaerie”, he breathes, 
“The girls?” you ask. 
He’ll buy Bokuto lunch next time. “I picked them up from your mom”, he responds. “Don’t wake them up, I just put them to bed.” 
You peek into their rooms nonetheless. “Thanks”, you say, heading next to the fridge. “By the way, I’ll pay you back for the hotel room from my own money, don’t worry.” 
That’s the last thing on his mind. Besides, his sin is being a neglectful husband, not a miser. “It’s fine, I’ll cover it”, he scratches his head, embarrassed that you’re even bringing it up. “I should’ve realised you needed a break.” 
That makes you frown, but you accept anyway. He watches you stack bread, eggs, ham, cheese, and it strikes him that you’re already worrying about the girls’ breakfast when you look as if you haven’t even had your own dinner. 
“You haven’t had dinner?” he asks. 
You reply carelessly that you’ve had a bento on the train back. You don’t even bother to look at him. 
“I’ll take the girls in the mornings from now”, he tells you. “Sleep in and take a break.” 
That gets your attention. 
“Really?”
He plasters a confident smirk on his face to reassure you that he’s got it all in hand. 
“Oh”, you’re adorable when you’re confused, but he hates that he’s given you reason to doubt him. “Wake me up if you need my help?” 
“I won’t”, he promises. 
It’s time for him to level up.  
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Step two. 
He’s not going to lie to himself that he finds it difficult to do even half of what you used to do. Taking over the responsibility of wrangling the girls out of bed and into school, coming home early enough for dinner with you, that requires him to have hard conversations with his boss about not being able to go out for drinks or come in early anymore which probably hurts his chances for his next promotion, forces him to give up an hour or two of sleep, but it’s worth it if it allows you to heal. 
“Don’t expect a gold star for your efforts”, Mitsuki warned him. “It’s just what you should’ve been doing before, so it’s time for you to go above and beyond.” 
He takes her words to heart. You deserve to go to work well-rested, to wind down at night with a hot bath. He’ll buy a robot vacuum and pour over its manual that’s thicker than a textbook, do laundry loads while hopping on and off conference calls, wrestle the iron to press down his own shirts. 
You seem baffled by the sudden shift in the winds, but he just pretends everything is normal. Business as usual. Things are just as they should’ve been. 
In his next push to right his wrongs, he organises a Saturday dinner date with you. The girls are packed off with your mother, he makes the reservation, books the cab, compliments your dress. He asks you about your work (tiring), your boss (a micro-manager), the books you’ve read recently (nada, zilch). In the uphill battle to keep the conversation from being stilted, he makes a fatal mistake. 
“We can make it work if you want to quit your job and stay home full time with the children.” 
In his mind, that was a reasonable suggestion to make since you seem to hate your job and boss with a fiery passion. But you stare at him wide-eyed, your initial confusion hardening into anger. 
“Did the guys at work tell you it’s easier to have a housewife instead of a working wife? Are you saying this because you don’t think I’m a good enough mother to our girls?” 
You don’t give him a chance to backpedal, shooting a sarcastic apology for being selfish enough to refuse to be reliant on him, so he just slumps back in his chair in defeat. 
“I just want you to be happy”, he murmurs. “Forget I ever said that.” 
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Step three. 
To figure out step three, he schedules an emergency lunch meeting on Monday. The troops convene in Kenma’s boardroom to listen to his sorry tale with Mitsuki in charge of the post–battle analysis. 
“And remind me again, where did you two meet?” 
His face lights up at the memory of his first meeting with you. “Finance 102”, he replies. “We used to be academic rivals turned teammates after I convinced her I was smart enough for her to work with on projects.”
“What made you fall in love with her?” 
“As much as I hate it, I have to admit she’s probably smarter than me”, he says, though the fond smile that creeps onto his face betrays the fact that he loves that about you. “She’s just - her, she’s headstrong and funny. Did I tell you how she tried to stab me with her fork when I stole food off her plate -” 
“Only a million times”, Kenma interjects. 
“She’s always been independent and ambitious, with big dreams and an even bigger heart.” 
“Well”, Mitsuki says, adopting the mildest tone she’s used on him this month. “Does that sound like a woman who’d choose to stay home and depend on her husband? Not that there’s anything wrong with being a stay-at-home parent - Koutaro makes my career possible, and I’m the luckiest woman in the world to have him as my husband.”
“Babyyyyy.” Bokuto bawls, looking at MItsuki as if she hangs the moon in the sky. 
Gross. Kenma seems to agree. “Let’s get back to Kuroo’s failing marriage”,
“So I shouldn’t bring up the suggestion that she quit her job again?” 
His three person council shake their heads in unison. “Just keep what you’re doing”, Bokuto pipes up. “Sounds like you’re already doing the right things! Just gotta keep making sure she’s not holding up the sky herself.” 
He can do that. 
“And maybe talk to her?”, Kenma offers.
That’s the suggestion that he wants to dismiss right off the bat because he’s too much of a coward to even face the possibility that you might leave him. He doesn’t want to become his dad so he resolves to keep his head down and continue pushing ahead with his efforts to prove to you that he can be the husband you deserve, so you won’t wake up one day and decide to walk out on him again. 
But his subconscious fears force his nightmares into overdrive. Dreams of packed bags and stacks of divorce papers makes him yelp loud enough for you to roll over and shake him awake. He’s a terrible husband for disturbing your sleep, but in his sleep-dazed state of confusion he just sinks back into the pillow, exhaling a sigh of relief. 
“Thank the gods you haven’t left.” 
“Why would I leave?”, you mumble, turning away again. “It’s my home, isn’t it.” 
He sits up, rubs the nightmares away from his eyes. “I was afraid you left me.” 
The silence nearly suffocates him. The sudden need to know exactly where you stand eats away at him and he crawls towards you. “Are you going to leave me”, he asks, praying to all the gods in the universe that you’ll reassure him otherwise. 
His heart breaks anew when he hears a small sob, buried in the bedclothes. “I don’t know, Tetsuro”, you finally say. “I’m tired of being alone in a marriage when it’s supposed to be us working together.” 
“I’m sorry.” There’s nothing much he can say. 
A broken whisper. “I’m tired”, you exhale. “I think I deserve better.”
“I’ll make it better”, he promises. 
He will. He will. 
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Kuroo Tetsuro is trying his best. 
He takes a cooking class on the weekends to learn how to prepare bento boxes that are nutritious and easy on the wallet. He takes over the ferrying of Fumiko to her swimming lessons, work on Aiko’s art projects with her. He hires a part time cleaner to pick up the deep cleaning, so you and he have time to take the girls out on weekend outings instead of spending all day on a week’s worth of cumulated chores. A dishwasher appears in the house. He makes it a game for he and the girls to load and unload dishware each night. 
“There’s a networking wine night for finance next Wednesday”, he tells you casually. “I’ll make sure to be home so you can go, if you want.” 
You goggle at him. 
“Go schmooze so the world knows you’re as amazing as I know you are.” 
You trust him enough to leave the girls behind in his care and go. He counts that as a win. 
Some nights he still can’t get home in time for dinner, but he always makes sure he’s home in time for a bedtime story and a goodnight kiss. Aiko avers that at the grand old age of ten, she doesn’t need her papa to tuck her to bed anymore, but she sidles into Fumiko’s room everynight and sits in the corner of her little sister’s bed as the littler girl listens to his tall tales. 
“I met a princess when I was eighteen”, he says with a grin when he notices you listening in. “Instead of a crown, she armed herself with a fork, ready to cut down anyone who’d cross her.” 
His heart skips a beat when he hears your voice from the doorway. “Don’t be dramatic”, you interrupt, a small smile growing on your face. “You were trying to steal my food and didn’t stop ‘til I stabbed you.” 
Fumiko huffs, unhappy that her story’s being interrupted, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from you. “You left it on the table, princess. I consider that fair game.” 
“Let ‘to-san tell the story, ka’san.” Aiko grumbles. 
He savours your laughter. It tastes better than the finest wine. 
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“I can’t believe I have to fly all the way to Italy just to meet Kageyama-kun”, he huffs. “At least Hinata is meeting us there, I’ll revolt if I had to go up to Brazil as well.” 
“You know it can’t be helped”, you reply. “The promotional activities planned need your presence, and it’s only for a week.” 
“Will you be okay when I’m gone?” 
His fears melt away when you hand him his suitcase, a flask of his favourite tea. “I’ve always managed fine. Nothing’s changed.” 
His little monsters, realising that he’s about to leave, decide to launch a synchronised attack on him. Aiko throws herself at him in a bear hug. Fumiko yanks at his sleeve demanding a thousand kisses. 
“Yes, well. I’ll be home soon. Please wait for me” he says to you when the girls finally release him. The expression on your face is unreadable, but you don’t pull away when he takes the liberty of taking your hand in his. 
He feels your heartbeat accelerates. You glance up at him, almost shy. “I’ll see you soon.” 
He’s so tempted to call his boss and pretend that he’s too ill to get on that damned flight, but he’s pretty sure that would get him fired. Instead, he calls you and the girls every day, and brings home a luggage full of presents for all of you. 
When he’s home, he celebrates by putting on the frilliest pink apron he’s ever seen (courtesy of Yaku, who sent it to him all the way from Moscow as a joke) and throwing an elaborate takoyaki party, replete with customised toppings - octopus, cheese and shrimp, which the girls enjoyed even if he burnt the first batch and had to call Fukunaga frantically for tips to rescue the rest. It turns out to be such a success that he makes it a weekly event. Okonomiyaki is next, which he flips with expert confidence on a hot plate to the applause of you and the girls. 
“Itadakimasu”, you clap your hands together. “It tastes good.” 
He nearly melts into his pan. “Thank you”, he replies. “It means a lot, coming from you.” 
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His nights are still plagued by nightmares.
Things are better with you, he likes to think. The violets beneath your eyes are replaced by roses in your cheeks. He hears you humming about the house again. You pick up reading again,  the shelves in the house start to groan under the weight of books belonging to the girls and you. You’re as eager as the girls to go on the next adventure, whether it be a summer night out in the park with sparklers, or a nerf gun battle at home on rainy days. 
Still, he doesn’t know for sure what he’s doing is enough for you and he’s too much of a coward to check. So he’ll wake up almost every night, fumble in the dark just to make sure you’re there. 
You’re there, until you aren’t. 
It’s three in the morning. The space beside him is cold and empty. 
He throws off the blankets, trips on his bed slippers. He crashes through into the living room and oh, there you are - sitting at the dining table, typing furiously at your laptop while mouthing off to yourself about the ridiculous demands your client makes. 
“What’s wrong?” you frown. 
He walks towards you, trying to discern that you’re real, you’re there, not some trick of the light.. 
“You’re - you’re still here.” 
You nod slowly, eyeing him strangely. “My boss called and asked me to send out an urgent email. I was just about to go back to bed.” 
He exhales, tries to force his trembling heart back into his chest. He thinks he’s doing a good job trying to act nonchalant, smoothing back his frazzled mane of hair, but you see right through him as you always do. 
“Tetsuro”, you say slowly. “Is everything alright? 
The truth tumbles out of his mouth. “I thought you were gone.” 
Then he hangs his head, looks at his feet, afraid that he’ll only see rejection in your eyes. He’s a pathetic failure of a husband who has a decade’s worth of sins to make up for, and there’s no justification for him to selfishly to seek your absolution. 
It comes anyway, in the form of soft hands pulling him forward. 
“I’m here”, you say, pulling him into your embrace, letting him rest his heavy head in your lap.
He doesn’t allow himself to sink into your warmth. “Are you happier now? Are things better for you?” 
“Yes”, he hears you say. The tension he’s been carrying around these few months lifts. “Thank you, Tetsuro. I appreciate it. I really do. You don’t have to work yourself to death - that’s never what I was asking for. If you’re tired -”
He shakes his head at your suggestion. He’s got a long way yet before he earns any reprieve. 
“Tetsuro -” 
He sits up abruptly, takes your hands in his. 
“Promise you won’t leave me”, he pleads. “I know you’ve had to carry what must’ve felt like the weight of the entire world on your own, and I don’t have any excuse for that.”
“You don’t”, you agree. 
He accepts the blow but he takes comfort that you don’t pull away. “I know that now. I know now how fucking hard it was to do it all alone.”
“It was hard. It was so, so hard, Tetsuro. I became numb to the pain. I don’t think I was functioning, I haven’t been for a while. For a long, long while.” 
“I’m sorry”, his voice cracks. 
“I know.”  You cup his face in your hands, offers him comfort he doesn’t deserve. “That’s a chapter of our marriage that’s past, that can’t be unwritten. But the past few months have been different. You’ve shown me that you’ve changed.” 
The first glimmer of sunlight after a long, dark winter. Hope blooms with your smile. 
“I think”, you say. “I think we can make this work again.” 
He stares at you, dumbstruck. Then the fact that you’re giving him another chance dawns upon him, and he crashes forward to rest his head on your shoulder, unashamed to cry tears of relief. 
“Thank you”, he exhales brokenly. “I won’t fuck this up again, I promise.”
You press a kiss to his forehead, curl up trustingly in his arms. “Don’t thank me”, you laugh. “Thank yourself for making me believe in you.” 
 He drinks up each drop of your affection, falls asleep in the cradle of your arms. 
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“Is this what flirting is like?” 
He wakes up to Aiko’s impertinent question, her hands on hips looking distinctly unimpressed at finding her parents asleep on the sofa, entwined together. 
“Who taught you that word?” Kuroo asks, aghast that his ten year old daughter even recognises the existence of the opposite gender. 
Aiko sticks her tongue at him, and he’s too distracted by Fumiko taking a flying leap onto the sofa with them, chattering a thousand miles an hour about what’s for breakfast and whether they can go to the zoo this afternoon - though he pins his suspicions on Bokuto’s trio of sons. 
“Monsters”, he says. “Can’t even give your to-san a break to snuggle up to your pretty ka’san.” 
The girls shriek in dismay - Aiko, at being a witness to further gross displays of affection between her parents, Fumiko, at being called a monster despite being a self-proclaimed princess. You prod at the soft flesh between his ribs. 
“Don’t be mean”, you admonish him. 
He sniffs, taking the chance to draw you closer. “I’m cranky in the mornings unless I get a morning kiss.” 
You snort, swatting at him. “You make it sound as if kisses contain caffeine.” 
The girls giggle, but he protests. 
“Full of nonsense”, you tease, but you kiss him, again and again and again. 
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Things settle into a steady, sustainable pace. 
You refuse to allow him to bear the weight of the household on his back alone. There are frank conversations to be had about what each of you can realistically handle without burning out. He leads the charge in the mornings, whipping up breakfast with the aid of his two sous chefs, building an expertise in braiding and french twists that could possibly allow him to moonlight as a hairstylist. You, on the other hand, take charge of evening pick-ups, cooking dinners, supervising homework and art projects until he comes home and tags you out. 
Chores are evenly split. He doesn’t allow you to assume the mental load of organising the household by yourself. “We both have a degree in business management”, he likes to remind you, because he now knows that remembering to run errands, scheduling appointments - all of this is work too. 
You force him to take breaks. If you get to relax with your friends, so should he. “If you get too stressed, you’ll lose your hair and we can’t have that.” He yelps when he imagines himself bald and obediently complies when you call Kenma up, talk him into getting him and Bokuto and Akaashi (when he’s feeling less morose about his singlehood) to go for a round of pick up volleyball. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself”, you note wryly when he returns home crowing about how he stuffed an Olympic player with a kill block. 
“I did”, he replies, catching your hips to pull you in, cheekily ignoring your complaints that he’s sweaty. “But I enjoy coming home to you even more.”
“Gross”, you grumble, but you seem content to remain in his arms. 
It’s another small moment he treasures. Life, he learns, is made of moments, both big and small. He’d made the mistake of only focusing on the big ones - graduation, playing at nationals, the day he was lucky enough to marry you, each of his daughter’s birthdays. Now, though, he cherishes each moment, each second he has with you and the girls, no matter how little, no matter how small. 
He likes to come into the bathroom each night, leaning his elbow on the edge of the bathtub as you chat to him about your day, luxuriating in the bath he drew for you. You and he take turns to complain about life’s inconveniences as you clear emails once the girls have gone off to bed- colleagues who shirk their work, bosses who nitpick overmuch, washing everything down with steaming cups of herbal tea. 
“Are you happy?”, he asks you, night after night. 
“Mm”, you say with an impish grin. “I’d be happier if you let me put my toes on your calves.” 
“They’re freezing”, he groans but scoots over anyway. “Better?” 
“Much better”, you hum, content. “Life is good.”
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He’s not remiss in planning the big moments too. 
A year passes quickly to your wedding anniversary. He packs your suitcase, books the train tickets and whisks you back to the ryokan in Hakone, though this time he upgrades you both to their largest suite. “I feel like a princess!” you exclaim, twirling about the room. 
Your happiness is worth every yen he spent. 
You spend the day strolling down avenues lined with cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji looming in the backdrop, the evening exchanging heated kisses in the private onsen he booked. You’re older now, with laughter lines creased into your forehead, grey streaks in your hair, but you’re still the same girl he fell in love with all those years ago. 
“And you couldn’t wait ‘til we got back to our room?” you smack him. 
He also loves how there’s fire burning bright in your eyes, the way it always used to. “You kissed me first!” 
“You kissed me second!” 
“I don’t hear you complaining”, he cackles. 
You try to shush him, to no avail, as he draws the attention of everyone around him.
“What a happy couple”, an obaa-san remarks out loud. “They must be newlyweds.”  
Well, she’s not wrong. You’re as radiant as you were fifteen years ago, his spring bride, but he’s an old man doddering on, hopefully with his edges sanded off with time. “Just your regular old, married couple”, he chortles when you’re safely back in the room. 
“A happily married couple”, you reply, serenely sipping your tea. “That obaa-san definitely got that part right.” 
There’s a lump in his throat that he can’t swallow. “Are you happy?” he manages to ask anyway. 
“With you?” Your smile is warm, bright. Always.”
Both of you are doing alright.
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a/n: it's been a while, hasn't it. i've been alright - how are you guys doing?
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4theitgirls · 10 months
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Hi thank you so much for making a Blair Waldorf guide for me , please do on how to study like Blair Waldorf as well 🥺
study like blair waldorf
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time management
prioritize effectiveness. work smarter. make a list of your daily tasks and simplify from there. which tasks absolutely need to be completed today? do them first. how much effort does each task require? do the high effort, longer tasks first.
persevere
don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t understand something, but don’t give up either. always be willing to learn and have an open mind to new ideas or ways of thinking. even if it requires extra time or effort, do everything you can to be the absolute best you can be.
stay prepared
research and study the topic at hand precisely. study what is given to you, but don’t be afraid to look deeper. expect the unexpected.
keep going no matter what
we all know what it’s like to know you need to study but you’re feeling tired, sad, stressed. while it’s important to give your brain and body time to rest and recover, sometimes it is best to stick it out. get what you need done, done.
use all resources given to you
i know it’s easy to only do what is asked of you (like assignments and modules), but if you are given extra resources, use them! whether it be text books, extra videos, etc., chances are you will need them at some point or wish you had reviewed them during an exam!
confidence
sometimes confidence is half the battle. you’ve done all your readings, assignments, homework, etc., but you’re still feeling like you haven’t done enough or don’t know enough. trust yourself. if you’ve done the work, no one can take your knowledge away from you.
take breaks when needed, but know when it’s time to come back
don’t be afraid to pause your studying for what you need. food, a power nap, more coffee, a walk, a stretch; all these things may be needed during a long study session. pause, but don’t stop. don’t get too comfortable and stop way before you planned. take what you need and keep going.
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harrysfolklore · 7 months
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Can we get y/n as a total book worm and Harry just finding it so adorable, like no matter what she’s doing she always has a book in her hands. Cooking, has a book. Backstage, reading a book. At a cafe for breakfast, reading a book.
Ofc you don’t have tot do this idea, it’s just an idea
here it is !! one of my favorite tropes i’ve done coming to tumblr <3
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
coffeeandbookss - yn’s bookstagram
yourinstagram- yn’s personal insta
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liked by emmachamberlain, gemmastyles and 15,937 others
coffeeandbookss Now reading: My policeman by Bethan Roberts ! In 1957, we meet Marion, a young woman hopelessly in love with Tom, her best friend’s brother. Tom — training to become a policeman — returns her affections, but holds a secret of his own. Will let you know my full review once done ! 💙
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bookfan1 just added it to my list !
bookfan2 i love everything you recommend
bookfan3 started it this week !
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,938 others
harryupdates Harry just followed this account on instagram !
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harryfan1 harry on his bookstagram era
harryfan2 AHH ONE OF MY FAVE BOOK CREATORS
harryfan3 she’s so pretty also
harryfan4 IM SUBSCRIBED TO HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL shes soooo good
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liked by yoursister, gemmastyles and 1,937 others
yourinstagram um harry styles follows mt bookstagram?? am i dreaming?
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yoursister YOU LUCKY BITCH
gemmastyles I’d love to think I’m responsible for that, I kept talking about your account 🫣
↳ yourinstagram love you gem thanks for your constant support 💓
username1 you’re the best out there
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,986 others
harryupdates Harry in London today ! He carried this book with himself
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harryfan1 he’s really in his books era
harryfan2 i started that book the other week omg
harryfan3 omw to buy it
harryfan4 my favorite booktuber just recommended this omg
DMS BETWEEN HARRY AND YN
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 4,937 others
harryupdates Harry having dinner tonight !
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harryfan1 OHHH
harryfan2 is that a DATE
harryfan3 boyfriendrry?
harryfan4 respect his privacy
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liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 10,872 others
yourinstagram happy days :)
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harryfan1 um why did harry like?
gemmastyles my babies 🥹
↳ harryfan2 hello are we missing something
harrystyles ❤️
↳ harryfan2 HELLO?
harryfan4 i’m so confused right now
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 201,928 others
tmz_tv Seems like Harry Styles got a new girl. More of his beach outing at the link in our bio 👀
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harryfan1 wtffff
harryfan2 WHO IS THAT
harryfan3 man i hate tmz
harryfan4 FIND OUT WHO THE GIRL IS RIGHT NOW
↳ harryfan1 i think their privacy was disturbed enough already
↳ harryfan2 yeah we’re shouldn’t snoop around trying to dig personal information of whoever the girl with him is
harryfan6 sucks as hell that they took these without their consent but i can’t help but be all 🥲🥲 over the fact that they’re reading together
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 4,029 others
theharrytea okay yall so i was watching yn’s latest video because of all the rumors going around her and harry (yk he followed her and commented on her posts and harry has been seen with someone we don’t know yet) AND i swear to god i heard his voice around min 7 😭 you could clearly hear that someone opens the door and a faint “sorry” I KNOW MY MAN’S VOICE AND THAT WAS HIS
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harryfan1 OH
harryfan2 omfg i can hear it now
harryfan3 y’all are tripping at this point
harryfan4 delulu
harryfan5 idk if any of this is true but they would make a cute couple like they would ready to each other and stuff :(
YN VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES
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liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 107,837 others
coffeeandbookss This week’s recommendation is presented by my brand new reading partner ! Love is a Mixtape is a soulful book, written as a way of understanding not only love and loss, but also the way music is can get us through those happy or sad times ! Full review this weekend 🤍
view all 43,973 comments
bookfan1 IS THAT HARRY STYLES ??
annetwist ❤️❤️
harryfan1 HARRYYYYY
harryfan2 THEY ARE SOOO DATING
harrystyles It is my pleasure to be featured x
↳ harryfan3 OMFG THEY FR ARE DATING
gemmastyles 🥹
harryfan4 I MEAN we kinda already knew it was her who has seen kissing harry BUT I LOVE THIS HARD LAUNCH
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liked by yourinstagram, gemmastyles and 6,837,927 others
harrystyles She’s got a book for every situation x
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harryfan1 AHHH IS THIS YN
jefezoff 🙌🏻🙌🏻
harryfan2 LOVE ME A HARD LAUNCH
gemmastyles ❤️
harryfan3 harry is not single anymore omfg
yourinstagram 🥹💓
harryfan4 COUPLE OF THE YEAR
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 27,947 others
harryismysun Worth the shot
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harryfan1 PLEASEEEEE
harryfan2 you're so funny
harryfan3 i love this fandom
yourinstagram 😂😂 I can confirm this is how it all went down
↳ harryfan1 I LOVE HER
↳ harryfan2 she's the best
taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin n @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry
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thedensworld · 8 months
Text
Sweet Macaroons | C.Sc
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Pairing: Gangster!Seungcheol x Baker!Reader
Genre: fluff, established relationship
Words Count: ±600
Summary: Seungcheol was far from pleased when a food critic posted a negative review that started to impact your sales. He couldn't stand to see you upset.
In the midst of a picturesque five months, Seungcheol, with an air of exclusivity, tenderly asked you to be his girlfriend. Everything seemed to move in slow motion around you, as if the universe itself was savoring the moment. His crew, astounded, couldn't fathom that a humble bakery owner just down the block from their bar had captured their boss's heart. He had transformed into something they never imagined: a unabashedly cheesy boy. Even Jeonghan, Seungcheol's right-hand man, remained baffled by the depth of his friend's infatuation with you. He couldn't quite grasp what had caused Seungcheol to fall so hard until he witnessed how Seungcheol would gladly stop the world at your command.
As an example of Seungcheol's devotion, he had gone as far as hiring a bodyguard to watch over you and ensure your safety. Seungcheol, ever mysterious about his business, would simply say, "I do business in Seoul and Busan," which, in its own way, was true. He owned nearly a hundred bars and nightclubs, not to mention his own association—a realm of details you didn't need to delve into.
Your bodyguard, Jun, who currently disguised as a barista in your bakery, would dutifully relay every detail to Seungcheol. This included mundane activities like your trips to the grocery store, visits from friends at the bakery, or even encounters with rude customers. Despite being in the know about your daily affairs through Jun, Seungcheol cherished hearing you recount your day, especially when it involved a customer that cussed on you. He'd teasingly inquire, "Should I track him down and make him pay?" A promise he would have swiftly fulfilled if you had not said, "No, you don't have to. I'll give him a piece mind when I'm a billionaire."
At times, Seungcheol really wants to say, "Marry me, and you can cuss him back in an instant." He was acutely aware of the influence he held.
However, he received an extremely irritating message from Jun, stating that a popular food critic had left a scathing review on their social media, claiming to have found a fly and cockroach legs in your sweets. This review had a detrimental impact on your sales and the overall image of the bakery, as people began leaving unpleasant comments on your social media platforms.
"Jeonghan, do you know this person?" Seungcheol inquired, displaying a video of the food critic.
Jeonghan confirmed, "Yeah, they're a very influential food critic."
Seungcheol nodded thoughtfully and hummed, "Do you know how to contact them?" he pressed further.
"I think we just need to get in touch with their management. They'll provide you with the pricing for their content," Jeonghan explained, prompting another question from Seungcheol.
"Then we can have them review our food however we want?" Jeonghan nodded, "Why? Are you thinking about having them promote our new foodbar?" he inquired.
Seungcheol shook his head, simultaneously signaling to Jeonghan that he wanted to be dropped off at your bakery.
Jun had informed Seungcheol that you had closed the bakery early today due to the lack of customers following the internet sensation. When Seungcheol arrived, only Jun was present in the bakery. He mentioned that you had gone to the convenience store for a few minutes. As Seungcheol patiently waited at one of the tables, you returned with a plastic bag in hand. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't immediately notice him. Instead, you went straight to Jun, telling him he could go home. Jun subtly gestured towards Seungcheol, indicating that he was waiting for you.
"Hi..." Your voice, though soft as always, carries a subtle shade of sadness. Seungcheol swears he can hear it, a touch of blue in your tone.
He smiles, approaching you and subtly signaling for Jun to leave the shop.
"Are you okay? I saw it online," Seungcheol asks gently once Jun has vanished from view.
You smile back at him, but tears well up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. You turn away, hiding your face from him as you wipe away the tears. Seungcheol's heart aches at the sight, a feeling he's never experienced before, like someone's squeezing his heart, causing a deep ache.
"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs softly, turning you to face him and pulling you into an embrace. He can feel the tightness in his chest intensify when he hears you sob.
This is the first time he's seen you cry in the five months you've been dating. He swears he'd never want to be the cause of your tears, let alone someone else.
"It's okay, baby. Bad things happen sometimes. It's not your fault," he reassures you as you try to explain how diligently you maintain your bakery's hygiene and ensure the freshness of ingredients. There's no way the accusations the food critic made could be true.
Seungcheol noticed the contents of the plastic bag you had been holding earlier: cleaning soap and equipment. His heart breaks once again, this time tinged with anger.
"Let's go home and rest, okay? I'll hire someone to clean the shop. I don't want to see you laboring with a heavy heart like this," he insists.
Seungcheol calls Jeonghan and swiftly arranges for his people to clean your shop. He drives you home, ensuring you have a proper dinner before settling down for some much-needed rest. Once you're peacefully asleep, he quietly slips away, reaching out to Jun and Jeonghan.
"Get them for me before midnight. Alive," he instructs.
Seungcheol doesn't concern himself with the specifics of how they carried out his request. But when his people successfully bring them to his office, he finally confronts the face that caused his girl to cry.
"What's your name?" Seungcheol asks, rising from his seat and approaching them.
"Who put you up to this?" Seungcheol presents their damning post about your bakery to their face. Poor soul, Seungcheol thinks. This food critic probably never imagined they'd be dragged in by a gangster and subjected to an interrogation like this.
Once Seungcheol acquires the name, he signals his people to reveal the extent of their capabilities. Images of their family and significant other are displayed, and they immediately plead for an apology, expressing regret for their actions.
"You should've thought about that before you posted that garbage," Seungcheol states, fixing them with a steely gaze.
"Upload a clarification video about your previous review. Go to that bakery tomorrow and apologize to the owner. Post both of those things before lunch if you want to spare them," Seungcheol directs, referring to the individuals in the photos as he delivers his unwavering ultimatum.
*
"It was a very wrong act of me to accept the offer to give a bad review to another bakery. I deeply apologize to the owner and my followers for doing such a wrong thing."
Seungcheol smiled at you as you showed him the video from the same account that had claimed they found a cockroach leg on your macaroon.
"See! I knew that my bakery and kitchen have passed the hygiene standards," you said, placing your phone down. There was a visible pout on your face, prompting Seungcheol to let out a chuckle.
"You're too cute," Seungcheol teased, pinching your cheek. He was relieved to see no trace of tears like the previous night.
You gently pulled his hand from your cheek as you stood up to restock the macaroon stall, which was nearly empty. Seungcheol couldn't help but smile as he watched you, his girl, his love, engrossed in the work you adored.
"Before you go, want a macaroon and your favorite latte?" you offered. He swore he would nod to anything you said.
"Here! I've packed some for your staff as well," you added, handing him boxes filled with sweets and a bundle of coffees for Seungcheol and Jeonghan.
He wouldn't let anyone steal your smile, even if he had to stop the world.
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thankskenpenders · 5 months
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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.
First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.
Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.
The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...
I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.
The why
I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.
Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.
But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)
The what, how, and when
So here's the plan.
Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.
After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.
I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.
I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.
So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?
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hamzahsonlygirl · 1 month
Text
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Tease.. (Hamzah NSFW)
- Bsf!Hamzah x f!reader
-Unprotected p! in v!, Dominate!hamzah x sub!reader, oral m! receiving, teasing, backshots, creampie.
-Summary: You and the gang are filming a video when there’s not enough seats and you have to sit in hamzahs lap, things get heated and eventually you and him go back to your place.
-YALL PLEASE GIVE ME REQUESTS IKK YALL WILL LIKE MY WRITING 🙏💕
-Proof read but lmk if i missed anything 🎀
———————-
Pink - Hamzah
Purple -You
Blue -Mandy
Orange -Martin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~🎀~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were sitting next to mandy as Hamzah and Martin returned to the room. You 4 were playing the sims for a video after the viewers wanted to see more of you. You and hamzah has always been close friends and sometimes even flirty but nothing ever too serious. Hamzah has brought you your favorite snacks and threw some snacks at mandy as well. Martin follows him with waters before sitting down next to mandy. Hamzah is left with no where to sit with there only being three desk chairs.
“Why doesn’t hamzah just sit on your lap?”
Mandy suggests while smiling teasingly
“I would crush her what??”
Hamzah says turning to mandy while waving his hands from the top of you head to the bottom to emphasize how small you are.
“Why not just switch?”
Martin said in a tone which means “How did you guys not think of that sooner?”
You look up at hamzah staring down at you. Today you wore a short white dress with a laced up back and a good amount of cleavage showing. Hey it’s was summer, it was cute, yk you would be on camera so you wore it. However you didn’t know you’d be sitting on hamzahs lap.
“You okay with that?”
Hamzah asks with concern obviously not wanting to make you uncomfortable.
“Yeah of course, it’s cool!”
you say with a smile while your subconscious starts going to a place it shouldn’t. You stand up and hamzah passes you to sit down. As he sits his shorts ride up slightly, you see hips push up as he readjusts himself in the seat. You watch as his hips jerked up only making your thoughts turn more inappropriate. Mandy and Martin were entertaining the camera by doing a first bite review of their snacks. Hamzah now looking up at you through his dark lashes gave you a half smile before patting his lap gently, ushering you to sit down. You felt something pulse in you when he pat his lap. You brushed the bottom of your dress forward so another layer of fabric would be between your growing lower heat and his lap.
Martin and Mandy finish their first bite review and Mandy starts up the game. The fans loved you because you knew everything about the sims they loved your segment of shopping for cc (custom content) for whatever character the group wanted to make. Mandy pushed the keyboard to your side of the desk, forgetting you were on Hamzah you rocked your hips forward trying to push the chair closer to the desk. You heard Hamzahs breath hitch and his hand flew to your hips holding you still. You remembered who’s lap you were on you turned slightly around, trying not to move too much, and apologized with a half smile all the while feeling very embarrassed. He smirked at you after finally taking a breath in.
“It’s okay, y/n don’t worry”
He reached his left arm around your waist and held you down on him while he scooted the chair closer. Only after you were completely flustered did you relaized he only touched you to help you move closer to the keyboard.
Little did you know Hamzah was enjoying every second of seeing you like this. Even if you were just flirty friends, there were moments when you two were alone and the flirting felt all too real. As you were downloading the custom content and all of you were making jokes back and forth when you felt hamzahs left hand (the one facing the wall) start to fiddle with the hem of your dress which was now at thigh length. He made sure mandy and martin didn’t see by doing it this on the opposite side of them. He traced circles and small shapes on your thighs sometimes exploring slightly higher, always making sure the camera couldn’t see where his hand was going. He picked up his phone with his other hand and typed something as he kept tracing your thigh. Suddenly he laughed then said
“y/n, look at this”
He said with a smile on his face. When he raised his phone to you it showed a note saying “don’t make it obvious on camera 💗.” You pretended to laugh as hamzah put his phone down and yall joined the others convo. You couldn’t help but feel soaked over the fact hamzah didn’t want it to be obvious so he did all of that just to keep teasing you on camera.
Awhile passed before martin spoke up and told everyone how late it had gotten.
“Oh shit guys it’s 11” he scoffed not believing so much time had passed.
Suddenly there was a loud bang downstairs.
“Guys where’s carl?” (Mandy and Martins cat if you didn’t know ^_^)
Mandy asks as she looks around and sees no sight of him.
“fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck”
Martin starts chanting as him and mandy jump up to run down stairs and stop whatever mischief their cat is making. When they’re gone the door slams behind them and you quickly realize it’s just you and Hamzah alone. You don’t say anything as you can feel his eyes on your back. As you think about how it’d feel to have his hands push down your back into an arch position his fingers gently connect with the top of your spine; before slowly making their way down.
“Hamzah…”
You breathe out quietly. He makes no reply expect the change in touch, he took his fingers off your spine and started tracing the criss cross pattern on your open back dress.
“hmm?”
He finally hums. You realize what’s going on and quickly try to stand up but hamzahs hands grip onto your waist and hold you firmly on his lap.
“Please don’t run from me, y/n”
He says softly as he leaves small soft kisses on your spine and shoulders. You could feel something hard underneath you. You moved your hips slightly into his; this made him stop breathing for a second and you knew exactly what the hard thing was that pressed against your clothed heat.
You both could hear Mandy and Martin make their way back up the stairs. You looked over your shoulder at hamzah as he put a finger to his lips giving you the universal sign of “shhh” with a smirk on his lips. As you turned you head back around you couldn’t help but notice how attractive he is. As the couple sat down and are distracted hamzah carefully lifts the bottom of your dress from under you so it pools on his lap. He slowly reachers he hand higher up your body; looking into the camera making sure you can’t see. When he reaches high enough hes met with the surprise of you having no panties on. He leaned forward to whisper in your ear. His soft lips brushed up against your skin.
“you’re such a good girl, y/n.”
In that moment you could feel something leak out of you. You had to get out of there. As if the gods heard your need to not be in a room with Mandy and Martin anymore, Martin spoke up.
“Hamzah can you give y/n a ride home, carl made a huge mess down stairs, we can finish filming tomorrow.”
Hamzah almost jumped at the chance to drive you home but he kept his cool and replied with an almostttttttt too eager sounding
“Yeah, of course..”
The drive back from Martin and Mandy’s wasn’t too far but far enough to the point you didn’t know what to say after what just happened. You turned on the radio and the party and the after party came on. Hamzah side eyed you and raised his eyebrow slightly. You blushed not knowing THAT type of song would come on. He reached over the cup holders between you guys while keeping his eyes on the road.
It was dark blue outside and the road was dead. Hamzahs car was warm and smelled nice. His big hand was cold as he places it just a bit too high on your thigh. Without realizing it a small moan/sigh slipped through your lips which filled hamzahs confidence in a way you couldn’t even imagine.
You stare down at hamzahs huge hand on your thigh. “he’s never touched me like this before” you thought to yourself, imagining all the other ways you’d want him to touch you, to kiss you, be in you. He noticed your eyes lingering on his hand, he pushed your legs open slightly keeping his eyes on the road the whole time.
“What y/n? tell me what you want?”
He said while rubbing his middle and ring finger tips on your inner thigh. You knew he was doing that with those fingers on purpose…but it worked. You imagined how his long fingers would feel on your pulsing clit. This was just embarrassing at this point, you could feel yourself starting to drip onto his car. You stuttered at first trying to get out your needs to Hamzah.
“Please t-touch me hamzah…”
Your voice was barely above a whisper but it drove him insane just hearing you need him so desperately. his lifted your dress slightly higher before running a finger alone your wet folds.
“fuck y/n.” Hamzah breathed out softly after feeling how soaked you were for him.
You arrived at your place as hamzah turned off the car and tried to take his hand away you grabbed his wrist. He could see your half lided eyes and your front teeth sink into the soft flesh of your bottom lip. Your hair slightly messy infront. If he wasent rock hard from feeling how wet you were, he definitely was now. He could feel his cock starting to twitch as he continued to play with your clit and folds. You held his wrist inbetween your legs tightly, he bit his lip before speaking softly into your ear.
“if you think this feels good let me show you inside just how much of a good girl you are”
He said barley above a whisper while he placed soft kisses on your neck. Without a second thought you got out of the car and went inside your place as hamzah followed. When the door shut behind you both he pushed you against it. He studied your face for a moment
“can i kiss you, y/n”
This wasn’t you and hamzahs first kiss but it was your first sober kiss. You thought it was sweet how he asked and made sure. You nodded biting your bottom lip craving to know what his lips against yours felt like. He pulled you closer by your waist before leaning in softly to kiss you. The first few kisses were soft and slow, he wanted to remember this moment, remember how soft your lips felt; He thought about how good they’d feel wrapped around his cock. His mind drove him wild as he picked up and held you against the wall, now kissing you rougher.
You felt the bulge in his pants grow continuously as you grinded against him. You moaned as the head of his cock grinded against your sore clit.
“tell me what you want, baby, let me hear your pretty voice.”
He spoke to you so sweetly you could’ve came right there. You reached down to cup his bulge which made his cock throb under his boxers and shorts.
“i want you in my mouth, hamzah.”
You said to him shamelessly as you started up at him through your dark long lashes. He carried you to your bed and took his shirt off. You left your dress on knowing a white, lacy sundress turns him on crazy. (A fact he shared with you while you were both high out of your mind) You got on your hands and knees and slowly made your way up to his waist. You softly kissed down his stomach and v line. As you kissed his v line you started pulling his shorts down as he stared down at you with half lidded eyes. You bit your lip. His cock was throbbing under his now suffocatingly tight boxers.
“You’re so big, Hamzah”
You said breathlessly as you licked his tip through his boxers. His head fell back and his hands found a place in your hair.
“please y/n, i need you so badly.” He sighed while slightly moving his hips closer to your face.
In this moment you slowly pulled down his boxers letting his cock spring out and hit his stomach. Your eyes widened and he smirked and laughed at your reaction.
“aw cmon. you got this baby, who’s my good girl?”
He asked while reassuring you. He pumped his dick up and down slowly before carefully placing his tip ontop of your soft wet lips. His cock was throbbing and wanted nothing more but to fuck you senselessly but he knew good things come with patience.
“I’m your good girl.”
You said softly with a half smile before opening your mouth slightly and sticking your tongue out balancing his erection on it.
“you look so pretty like this…”
He started saying as he slapped his soft pink tip on your plush tongue. Before placing his cock on your face, enjoying the view of how you were HIS slut.
“…so pretty with my cock on your face. Does that make you horny baby, being treated like this?”
“it’s only cause it’s you treating me like this hamzah.”
You replied before grabbing him at the base and slowly licking your way up making sure to keep eye contact with each painfully slow lick. Your lips wrapped around his tip before slowly taking him all in your mouth. Your throat needed a second to adjust but when it did his moans only got louder. You loved how vocal he is.
“Fuck, fuck, that’s so good y/n. just like that!”
He moaned out as you bobbed your head up and down, quickening your pace. You made sure to focus on his tip and the underside of his cock, sucking his tip softly but hard, and making sure your tongue licks up and down the underside of his cock as he goes in and out of your mouth. He pulled your hair into a ponytail and started rolling his hips in and out of your wet mouth. You couldn’t help but giggle softly while seeing how good he was feeling from using you.
“hm? you think that’s funny?”
He asked in a cocky tone before pulling out from your mouth and throwing you on the bed. He slowly pulled down your dress straps while leaving pecks down your neck till he got to your breast. He looked up at you for consent that he could take your dress off. You smiled at him and he immediately untied the bow at the bottom of the criss cross pattern dress. When the top of the dress fell he stared at your bare tits for a moment before taking one of your nipples between his two fingers and rolling it softly while his mouth cupped around the other nipple and slowly began sucking. His tongue playing with your nipple moving it in every different direction. Your moans started to fill the room as your back arched wanting more and more of him. More of his touch.
“Yeah… not so funny now, right?”
He asked with a smirk on his face. He standing at the the edge of the bed with your bottom half right on the edge. His cock pressed against your wetness by accident as he pulled you closer by your hips. He fell slightly forward from the feeling. He couldn’t believe how wet and warm you were, all for him, and his dick was only rubbing against the outside of your pussy. You needed him inside you so badly you’d do anything, you’d beg for him if he wanted.
“Hamzah, please…please i need you”
You spoke softly almost whining, so desperately and needy it drove him insane he felt like his cock was going to explode if he didn’t fuck you right now.
“Cmon baby, talk to me, tell me what you want.”
He rubbed his tip on your clit, his precum and your wetness mixing on your folds.
“Please fuck m-me hamzah, fuck me like a slut i’m yours.”
You stuttered from the feeling of his head circling your clit.
“That’s my good girl…”
He trailed off before slowly pushing his huge cock into your small pussy. He couldn’t help but moan out your name as he bullied his way into your tight cunt. The feeling of him stretching you out for the first time was unbelievable. You wanted his cock to be in you all the time now. You didn’t even want to imagine how empty you’ll feel without him inside you.
“You okay baby, i’m not hurting you right?”
He asked concerned after hearing you whimpering underneath him. You quickly shook your head wanting nothing more then for him to be fully inside you.
“n-no please go deeper Hamzah. please.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at how desperate you were, he loved how you wanted his cock so bad you were pleading without him even asking.
“It’s only half way in, princess…you sure?”
He said calling you something he never had before. ‘princess’ you felt yourself become even more soaked and your juices coating the part of his cock that weren’t yet inside you. He felt your pussy try to suck him in deeper when he called you that and wasn’t about to let it go unmentioned.
“that turn you on…princess? you like when I call you that.”
He asked innocently before sharply thrusting the rest of his length into you. The wind was knocked out of you as you cry/moaned .
“fuck, fuck please do that again, keep going please hamzah”
You begged him, you needed his cock to hit that spot deep inside you again, however for hamzah that spot wasent so deep because he was so big. Every thrust he made into you felt like it went deeper and deeper. He started off with a slow and steady pace making sure your walls get used to his size. As he thrusted into you he mumbled sweet nothings in your ear.
“so…so warm.” “you’re doing so good for me.” “you like when I fuck you like this?”
Every word and every thrust pushed you further and further till a familiar feeling inside your stomach crept up on you. You felt yourself about to unravel on his cock and he could tell by how loud you were getting.
He flipped you over and arched you back down so you were in the doggy position before slamming his cock back into you and pulling you hips back and forth on this cock.
“yeah fuck yeah, just like that hamzah, fuck, youre so good…”
You moaned out as he pulled your hair back.
“Yeah princess tell me how good my cock feels fucking you..”
He quick ended his pace wanting nothing more but to cum together. He watched your pussy as he thrusted in and out of you. in. out. in. out. in. out. It was mesmerizing, the way your pussy sucked his cock in. So needy.
“Your cock feels so good inside me, baby”
You whimpered.
“i’m gonna cum, fuck hamzah im gonna cum…please please cum in me hamzah!”
You begged for his cum which made him slam his hips into your ass, fucking you at a pace and deepness you didn’t think was humanly possible.
“Yeah princess, cum on my cock, i want to feel that pretty little pussy twitch around me.”
Hamzah had learned you loved words and loved being told sweet nothings.
“i’m gonna fill that pretty little pussy up with my cum, so so deep inside you princess, is that what you want?”
This completely sent you over the edge as you came you begged hamzah to cum deep inside you. With a final few thrust you felt his cock twitch before feeling slightly more filled up than you did before. You could feel his cum move inside you as he slowly pulled out. Your body sank down from an arched position and hamzah carefully laid down and spooned you.
“so maybe we should talk about what all this means.”
~~~~~~~~~~🎀~~~~~~~~~~
Leaving it at that for now!! please send request i need more ideas. I’ll write specific kinks, scenarios rlly anything lol :3 besides anything under the influence, i personally don’t believe you can consent under any substance besides like weed lmao
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prettieinpink · 7 months
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CREATING A STUDY SCHEDULE/ROUTINE 
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PLANNING/SCHEDULING
LIST YOUR ACADEMIC STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES. This is so you can allocate time accordingly and avoid wasting any time. 
PRIORITISE ANY SUBJECTS. These may be subjects that will help you in your future career or just a subject you especially want a good grade in. Anything for these subjects then becomes the most important on your to-do list.
DIVIDE TIME EACH DAY. Not all days you are going to be able to sit down at your desk at the same time. Instead, according to your energy levels and planned activities, divide your time.
E.g I have cheerleading after school and I'm going to be so tired, so I’ll do my studying in the morning instead. 
ESTABLISH BREAKS. Depending on how long you can study for, place a suitable break in between. This helps make studying more productive, but only if your breaks are. 
CREATING
USE YOUR TIMETABLE. On days you don’t have a specific subject, dedicate more time to that one. 
CONSIDER YOUR LEARNING STYLE. This helps to be a bit more specific when creating it, instead of winging it and just doing anything. Having a consistent way of studying helps us learn better. 
E.g I’m a visual learner, so I’ll watch animations. I'm an auditory learner so I’ll watch a video of someone explaining it. 
KNOW WHAT YOU WILL DO DURING STUDYING. Do not just wing studying, it’s unproductive and you’re more likely to waste time instead of using it.
 Before you start studying, write a to-do list of everything you need to do during that session and how you will do it. Less time time-consuming and allows you to use time productively. 
SAMPLE – this is Lanny’s daily study routine without any upcoming tests, as an early bird, kinesthetic learner and needs breaks to think with clarity.
Morning
Review my flashcards in preparation for any test. 
Write/note any flashcards I'm struggling with. 
 Afterschool
Check seqta/school website to access my courses, in which I’ll write down which subjects I had. 
Do a few quick blurts on paper of everything I learned in those subjects with prior reading. I only do this for HASS, math and science + any electives that require it. (blurting method)
Then I recheck my blurts, add in anything that I’ve missed and correct with a different coloured pen. 
After, I push those papers aside but I do not discard them. I’ll then complete my online science homework + class workbook. If I happen not to understand anything I’ll watch a video on it and then complete some questions on that. 
I’ll take a break around now because, on an estimate, it has been around 20-40 minutes since I started depending on how my science homework is. I usually eat something and then get back to it. 
Math is next. I’ll complete any math homework, then I’ll practice doing math questions on my own. What I like to do is watch a math video, pause the question without the answer then watch to see if I got it. Effective because they explain it and I can see where I went wrong without analysing my working out which is rather time-consuming. 
I take another break. Math stuff usually takes around 20-30 minutes. 
I then do HASS, which is the easiest. I usually read an article or watch a video on hass then apply that knowledge by answering questions OR doing assigned chapter work. 
I do not study English after school, but I usually read an assigned passage/book and then try to apply any techniques/knowledge by taking that paragraph apart and analysing it. Sometimes, I write my paragraphs using any taught techniques and then mark them. 
Then, I redo my blurtings again but without prior reading then recheck and correct. Then I am finished for the afternoon!!
Evening
Review flashcards then watch a video/read an article on what I was struggling with in the morning but I do not do anything to consolidate this knowledge. 
That is all, please feel free to ask me about any questions about studying as I don't really post much about it, I'll love to help out any fellow students! 
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learnyouabiology · 1 year
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Fun Fact: Hognose snakes are dramatic lil guys!
I am particularly fond of the snakes known as hognose snakes, and my reasons are both understandable and correct.
This is a hognose snake:
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(They received their name by having the sweetest lil snoot to ever require a boop – image source)
They use these adorable snoots to burrow under sandy soil using a sort of nuzzle-y motion. They then use these burrows as a place to sleep at night, hibernate in the winter, and lay their eggs. 
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(you could say they’re into... the Underground Scene! ...ok yeah i’ll show myself out – image source)
Plus, they come in a variety of delightful colours!
We've got brown! Beige! Yellow! Black! Red! Orange! Tan! Kinda greenish! Orange again!
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(pretty sneks! – Here’s all the image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
And, to be clear, the snakes pictured above are wild snakes. No selective breeding by humans in these noodly bois! At least, not in these specific individuals. probably. I guess a few of them could be escapees... 
But most importantly: These snakes know the true meaning of DRAMA
Hognose snakes are actors, first and foremost. When they feel threatened, the first thing they do is puff out their neck into a hood. 
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(like cobras, this hood is made by FLEXING THEIR NECK RIBS. which: gross – image source x)
This superficially makes them look like a cobra, but what they’re actually trying to do is make themselves seem bigger, and therefore scarier. Possibly those dark spots on their neck helps with that! 
Any resemblance to real-life Eurasian cobras, real or fictional, is purely coincidental
Also, it makes its mouth do this:
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(Snakes that SCREAAAAAAAM. – image source)
honestly, if I didn’t already know that hognose snakes were harmless, this would ABSOLUTELY make me leave it the hell alone 
But if all of that^ is unsuccessful at scaring away the predator, the hognose snake pulls its signature move: playing dead
If you think that is a lame signature move, then you are wrong, because hognose snakes put EVERYTHING into their performance and I love them for it.
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(they’re serious, they’ll do it!  – image source)
((I’m actually going to stick the rest of this under a read-more, bc the pictures of the alive-and-physically-fine hognose snakes do kind of look like a legitimately-dead hognose snake, if you don’t know what to look for. 
So, uh: cw for a snake being too good at pretending to be dead))
Behold: a series of completely healthy, unharmed snakes!!!
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(to help with their self-esteem, we ask that you at least pretend to believe that they are dead – image sources 1, 2, 3, 4)
Honestly, the photos don’t do it justice. Here’s my favourite video of the whole wonderous performance: 
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But to review:
There's writhing! There's dramatic noises! There's flipping onto their back and opening their mouth wide and letting their tongue hang out! There's excreting a combination of  intentionally smelly substances!!! Truly a master of the art of being left the hell alone (*^▽^*)
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(yep. deeeeefinitely dead. not just faking it. nothing worth eating here! – image source)
Personally, my favourite part of this is how they insist on rolling onto their back, even when they are rolled back onto their stomach. 
Seriously, if you try to roll them right-side-up, they will flip back over. It's as though they believe that a good, proper dead snek MUST be on its back, obviously.
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(truly fearsome – image source)
Sadly, the hognose snake may have made itself too scary, according to humans.
Out of fear, these snakes are commonly killed on sight 😔. I once heard someone proudly brag about how they’d killed a dozen cobras! In southern Ontario! Where cobras do not live! This is both extremely frustrating and deeply sad.
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(safe enough to hold! although maybe don’t, just because this snake IS probably experiencing mortal fear, which is not a good feeling – image source © Dean Stavrides)
So just to highlight: hognose snakes are completely harmless. They’re just pretending to be fearsome!
(not that people should be killing venomous snakes either, imo. Let the danger noodles LIVE THEIR LIVES)
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(i is baybee, pls do not hurt me – image source)
And now some bonus facts to help raise us out of that downer:
Hognose snakes are toad specialists! Their favourite food is toads, which is unusual, because toads are poisonous. Hognose snakes deal with this by force of will and also, at least two amino acid substitutions, maybe (Mohammadi et al. 2016). Possibly a few other things help with this, also (Feldman et al. 2016).
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(is snek eat toad? or does toad wearing cape of snek? impossible to tell, really – image source)
Also, I have a confession: hognose snakes... are venomous. Technically.
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(itty bitty little fangs at the veeeeery back of their mouth!  – image source)
They are known as rear-fanged snakes, which means they have fangs aaaall the way at the back of their mouth. The venom they produce seems to be toad-specific, and is considered to be harmless to humans unless you happen to have an allergy but that's the exception rather than the rule
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(the two hognose species. They are both baybee, but in different ways actually there might be more than two species but these are the two i’ve actually learned about so ALL WELL   – image source)
Also, hognose snakes are big cowards NOT aggressive and I've never even heard of anyone getting bit by a one (outside of one feeding mishap, which we can all agree was an ACCIDENT). 
The series of events that would need to occur for you to be envenomated are so unlikely and bizarre that I assume you would have to be TRYING to get bit.
This has been Fun Fact Friday, bringing you the forbidden noodly boys to try and keep them a little more safe!
.....................................................................
Sources, because I know me and SO DO YOU:
Averill-Murray, R. C. (2006). Natural history of the western hog-nosed snake (Heterodon nasicus) with notes on envenomation. Sonoran Herpetologist, 19(9), 98-101.
Buchanan, Scott W.; Timm, Brad C.; Cook, Robert P.; Couse, Richard; Hazard, Lisa C. (2017). Spatial ecology and habitat selection of eastern hognose snakes. The Journal of Wildlife Management, 81(3), 509–520. doi:10.1002/jwmg.21218 
CHS: Canadian Herpetological Society https://canadianherpetology.ca/species/species_page.html?cname=Eastern%20Hog-nosed%20Snake
COSEWIC. 2021. COSEWIC assessment and status report on the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake Heterodon platirhinos in Canada. Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada. Ottawa. xi + 45 pp.  https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry/cosewic-assessments-status-reports/eastern-hog-nosed-snake-2021.html
Cunnington, G. M., & Cebek, J. E. (2005). Mating and nesting behavior of the eastern hognose snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in the northern portion of its range. The American midland naturalist, 154(2), 474-478.
Feldman, C. R., Durso, A. M., Hanifin, C. T., Pfrender, M. E., Ducey, P. K., Stokes, A. N., ... & Brodie Jr, E. D. (2016). Is there more than one way to skin a newt? Convergent toxin resistance in snakes is not due to a common genetic mechanism. Heredity, 116(1), 84-91. 
 Jared, C., Luiz Mailho‐Fontana, P., & Maria Antoniazzi, M. (2021). Differences between poison and venom: An attempt at an integrative biological approach. Acta Zoologica, 102(4), 337-350.
Liu, C., Chen, Y., Zheng, Y., Bo, J., Yang, C., Xu, S., & Zhang, S. (2022). Wear Resistance Improvement of Keeled Structure and Overlapped Distribution of Snake Scales. Journal of Bionic Engineering, 1-11. Citing abstract.
Mohammadi, S., Gompert, Z., Gonzalez, J., Takeuchi, H., Mori, A., & Savitzky, A. H. (2016). Toxin-resistant isoforms of Na+/K+-ATPase in snakes do not closely track dietary specialization on toads. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 283(1842), 20162111. 
 Nature Conservancy of Canada: https://www.natureconservancy.ca/en/what-we-do/resource-centre/featured-species/reptiles-and-amphibians/eastern-hog-nosed-snake.html
Plummer, M. V., & Mills, N. E. (1996). Observations on trailing and mating behaviors in hognose snakes (Heterodon platirhinos). Journal of Herpetology, 30(1), 80-82.
Rouse, Jeremy D.; Willson, Robert J.; Black, Ron; Brooks, Ronald J.  (2011). Movement and Spatial Dispersion of Sistrurus catenatus and Heterodon platirhinos: Implications for Interactions with Roads. Copeia, 2011(3), 443–456. doi:10.1643/ce-09-036     
Seburn, D. 2008. Recovery Strategy for the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in Canada. Species at Risk Act Recovery Strategy Series. Parks Canada Agency, Ottawa. vi + 24pp.
Schwartz, V. & D. Golden (2002). Field Guide to Reptiles and Amphibians of New Jersey. New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife
VHS: Virginia herpetological society http://www.virginiaherpetologicalsociety.com/reptiles/snakes/eastern-hog-nosed-snake/eastern_hognose_snake.php#:~:text=Heterodon%20is%20derived%20from%20the%20Greek%20words%20heteros,meaning%20%22broad%20or%20flat%22%20and%20rhinos%20meaning%20%22snout%22
Young, R. A. (1992). Effects of Duvernoy's gland secretions from the eastern hognose snake, Heterodon platirhinos, on smooth muscle and neuromuscular junction. Toxicon, 30(7), 775-779. https://doi.org/10.1016/0041-0101(92)90013-U
Young, B. A., & Morain, M. (2003). Vertical burrowing in the Saharan sand vipers (Cerastes). Copeia, 2003(1), 131-137.
SARA: threatened https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry.html
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brattyfork · 7 months
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can’t
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summary: you’re having a hard time getting off, matt offers a solution
warnings: THIS IS SMUT, but there’s nothing crazy, this is pretty long tho
when i broke up with my boyfriend, i knew it’d be hard, knew it would take a while to get over him. what i didn’t expect was how much i missed him sexually. the whole time we were together i didn’t masturbate, i didn’t need to, if i was horny i just went to his house and he helped me. this leads me to where i am now, desperately trying to get off after almost two years of not touching myself. i tried everything, watched porn, read books, even bought like four different toys and nothing could get me over the edge.
i had just finished watching a pretty steamy movie with my roommates, three triplet brothers. i suggested the movie, not realizing how much sex was in it, the boys didn’t seem to mind too much. chris was on his phone, his head snapping up every time he heard a chick moan. nick had his headphones in watching tiktoks but matt was actually very invested in the movie. at the beginning, he was playing clash of clans on his phone but quickly got distracted by the movie and just kept watching. after the movie ended, matt was the only one paying attention. “im gonna go take a nap” i said, trying to sound as tired as possible. he just looked up at me, smiling and nodding as i walked away.
i figured now would be as good a time as any to try again so i got set up. got myself a water, grabbed my lube and various toys from my closet and pulled up pornhub on my laptop. i know porn rots your brain or whatever but at this point i didn’t care anymore. i grabbed my airpods off my bedside table and put one in my ear, so the boys couldn’t hear the porn but i could still hear them. setting up, i played one of the first videos i saw on pornhub, having no idea what to even search for, hit play and pulled my blanket over my legs, seeing as i had no pants on i was kinda cold.
while looking for toys, i stumbled across something called a wand, it had pretty good reviews so i caved and spent the hundred bucks on it. i plugged it into the power strip next to my bed and turned it on, it was loud but i figured the boys were doing their own things so whatever. i squirted the tiniest bit of lube on it, i was already pretty wet from the movie and i hated the greasy feeling of the lube. i flipped the switch and got to work, or at least i tried to. i was doing pretty good, the wand felt awesome and i felt myself getting close but it would just disappear out of nowhere. after inadvertently edging myself three times, i was basically crying. being so frustrated i threw the wand across the room, pulling it out of its socket. i pulled my knees to my chest, sobbing into them. seconds later, my door flung open, matt appearing behind it.
“y/n! is everything oka-“ he paused, his eyes widening at the sight in front of him, closing the door behind him.
“what’s happening? what is all this?” he gestured to my bed, moving closer. i didn’t speak or move, i just kept sobbing, hoping this was all some bad dream i would wake up from any second. i felt my bed shift from matt sitting down next to me. he placed a hand on my back,
“y/n?”. i just leaned into him, crying some more while he wrapped both his arms around me, still hugging my legs with a blanket still covering my lower half.
“hey, hey, you’re okay, what happened?” i figured there was no point in lying to him, he had already seen everything.
“i can’t come, i haven’t in gotten off in weeks” i said, my sobbing becoming more intense from the embarrassment of having said this out loud.
“don’t cry sweet girl, you’re okay, take a deep breath with me” he lifted my chin to look at him, taking a deep breath in through his mouth and slowly letting it out through his nose, i copied him, repeating it a few times before i could form coherent sentences.
“there you go, you’re okay. do you wanna tell me what’s happening?” he asked sweetly, making sure that i knew i didn’t have to tell him anything if i didn’t want to.
“i haven’t gotten off since i broke up w y/e/n, i can’t seem to do it myself, and as you can see,” i gestured to all the items on my bed “i’ve tried everything.” he stayed quiet for a second, obviously having no idea what to say.
“im so sorry y/n” he said finally , pulling me into a hug.
“it’s okay, thanks for listening to me cry” i chuckled out, trying to diffuse the tension.
“i uh have a suggestion, if you’d like to hear it…” i nodded against his chest, willing to try almost anything at this point.
“i could um try and help you” i pulled away from him, searching his face for any sign that he was fucking with me. his face was dead serious, concerned, with a slight ting of red on his cheeks.
“really? uh how?” i asked, knowing what he meant but wanting to make sure we were on the same page.
“well, i could finger you or eat you out? whatever you want really, whatever you think will help”
“are you sure? that’s a big ask”
“you didn’t ask, i offered. but only if you want to, if you don’t i’ll go and we can pretend this didn’t happen”
“no!” i said, louder and whinier than i meant to, “i mean um if you don’t mind”
“i don’t mind at all” he said as his eyes glanced down at my lips, letting his eyes move down my body to where the blanket was. he got up, moving around to the other side of my bed, picking up my laptop, closing it and setting it on my bedside table.
“ matt?”
“yes angel?”
“can you uh can we like maybe um-“
“words baby”
“can you kiss me?” a small smirk grew on his face.
he walked back around to the side of the bed i was on, standing in front of me he held my face in his hands, leaning over to place a small kiss on my lips, pulling away briefly before kissing me again this time pushing me back to lay on the bed. he hovered over me before settling down in between my legs, whimpering as i felt his bulge rub my clit between the blanket. he continued to kiss me gently before pulling away with my bottom lip in between his teeth. he smiled at me before grabbing my face, turning my head to give him better access to my neck. he started with light kisses, making me shiver before he started to suck a little bit, unfortunately not enough to leave marks. he then bit where he had been sucking before, licking the same spot causing me to whine. he came up, pressing another kiss to my lips before looking down at the blanket.
“can i take this off?” i nodded quickly. he pulled the blanket off exposing my bare pussy. he lifted my sweater slightly, placing kisses down the valley in between my breasts, moving down to my stomach. he let his knees fall to the ground, now sitting at the end of the bed. he wrapped his arms around my thighs, pulling me down toward him. i gasped at the sudden movement, looking down to see his piercing blue eyes staring straight back at me. he began kissing the insides of my thighs, not for too long, knowing how much i needed this. he looked at my pussy, glistening from all the attention, seemingly entranced.
“matt?” bringing him out of his trance
“sorry, you’re just so pretty” i blushed at the compliment. he leaned down, pressing a light kiss to my clit before licking a stripe up my folds making me let out a low moan. i could feel him smile against me as he continued to eat me out, my moans growing louder as he got more into it. lost in my pleasure, i felt something proding at my entrance before pushing in.
“oh fuck matt” i managed to whine out.
he began fucking into me with his finger while still sucking on my clit. it felt unreal but i still needed more.
“matt more please” i begged. lucky for me, he understood what i meant, adding another finger, making me let out a loud groan. i reached my hand down, searching for anything to grab onto. matt noticed, interlacing his fingers with mine. with another thrust of his fingers, he brushed my g spot, making me squeeze his hand.
“oh my god matt do that again please” he did as i asked repeating the motion, my moans growing louder.
“matt please don’t stop im so close please” i begged, grinding my pussy against his face trying to gain more friction. he held my thighs down, trying to keep me still so he could get me over the edge.
“fuck i’m gonna cum please don’t stop please please” i begged, babbling whatever words would come out of my mouth, not caring how i sounded. with a few more pumps of his fingers i came completely undone, my thighs shaking from the pleasure i hadn’t experienced in weeks. he continued eating me gently through my orgasm before coming back up to my face, kissing me. i could taste myself on his lips and it was intoxicating.
“better?”
“a little”
“a little??” surprised after my relatively intense orgasm
“matt” he looked at my inquisitively, searching my face for what i would say next.
“can you fuck me , please?”
“want my cock inside you princess ?” he said lifting his shirt over his head.
i nodded but i should’ve known better. he tilted his head to the side, giving me a look.
“you need to use your words baby, i can’t read minds” he reminded me
“ need you inside me please”
“so polite, sweetheart” he cooed, undoing his belt, completely mesmerizing me. he pulled his pants down, leaving him in just his boxers as he went to crawl on top of me.
“no, take those off too” i demanded, desperate to see all of him.
“so needy” he complied, letting his boxers hit the floor. i wasn’t surprised, i knew matt wasn’t small. i smiled excitedly, ready to just have him inside me. he reached both his hands out to me motioning for me to grab them. he pulled me up before grabbing the hem of my sweatshirt and pulling it over my head. he leaned down, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing me. i wrapped my legs around his hips as i deepened the kiss, trying to get as close to him as possible. with his arms around my waist and my legs around his hips, he lifted me up before sitting where i had been before. he placed me on his lap gently, both of us groaning, him feeling my wetness spread down his cock, me feeling his cock against my clit.
“can you ride me angel?” he said pulling away from my lips slightly, planting them firmly back after he asked. i just nodded into the kiss, needing him so desperately. he pulled away from the kiss, taking one of his arms off my waist, bringing his hand up to my mouth. he gently pressed his index and middle finger into my mouth.
“get my hand wet baby” i sucked on his fingers for a bit before he decided they were wet enough but when he pulled his fingers out i grabbed his wrist, keeping his hand near my face. i licked above where my hand grasped his wrist, all the way up to his fingertips. his pupils dilated in an instant, i could barely see any blue, his eyes fully black with lust. he brought his hand down and stroked himself a few times before lifting me slightly off his lap, lining himself up. he looked at me, making sure he saw no discomfort in my face. i gave him a small smile before sinking onto his cock. he held my hips as my arms flung around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. he guided me down, making sure not to rush me. i finally bottomed out and let out a big breathe. i sat there momentarily, enjoying how full i felt. i lifted my head from him, kissing him before pushing up on my knees, coming off his cock slightly before going back down. he let out a groan, and with his hands still on my ass helped me ride him, lifting me off him and helping me sink back down. after a little bit of this i could feel my legs getting sore, i didn’t say anything, feeling bad that i was too tired to ride him. despite me not telling him, matt noticed. he quickly flipped us over, him now on top of me, giving my legs a much needed break.
“did you get tired baby?”
i nodded, hoping that would be enough of a response for him.
“that’s okay, wanted me to take control?”
i whined at his words, grabbing his face pulling his lips to mine. he began to pound into me at an ungodly pace and i dragged my nails along his back, making him groan into the kiss. i disconnected our lips briefly.
“you feel so good, so deep inside me” i whispered against his lips. apparently he liked that as he reconnected our lips and started fucking me so hard i saw stars. i began to essentially scream into the kiss. he pulled away, “you sound so good for me sweetheart”
“matt i’m so close c-can i hnng” i struggled to finish my sentence.
“go ahead baby, wanna feel you cum on me”
with his permission, i let go, my legs began shaking as i let out the loudest moan that’s ever passed my lips
“fuck baby you look so good, can i cum inside you?”
“fuck, pLEASE” i croaked out, becoming overstimulated.
his thrusts became sloppier and he slowed down as he released inside me, completely filling me up. he pumped into me a few more times before pulling out.
“are you okay sweet girl?” he asked, concerned as my eyes were half lidded and fluttering open and shut.
“mhm” i responded, only able to mumble and whine.
“cmon let’s get you cleaned up” he lifted me bridal style, carrying me to my bathroom, setting me down on the toilet.
“go pee baby” he ordered as he made his way back into my room to clean up a little. after i peed i sat on the toilet, elbows propped up on my knees with my head in my hands. i heard matt’s footsteps as he made his way back into the bathroom, holding a t-shirt, underwear and your favorite pajama pants.
“can you walk?” he asked, sounding worried despite his smirk on his face, proud of how good he made me feel.
“maybe?” he reached out his hand for me to grab, helping me off the toilet. at first, my legs felt like i had no bones in them but i was able to stand after a few seconds. i slipped the shirt over my head before holding onto him to put on my underwear and pants. he walked me into my room, helping me into bed before handing me an unopened water bottle.
“drink this” he ordered, as he walked toward the door.
“are you leaving ?” the thought of him leaving after all that made me want to sob.
“course not baby, just turning off the lights” he said flicking off the light before returning to the bed, crawling under the blankets. he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close before giving me a sweet kiss on the back of my neck.
“thank you matt” i said, intertwining my fingers in his.
“anything for you my love” pulling me closer if even possible.
A/N: hi, thanks for reading my first full fic :) i want feedback! constructive criticism is appreciated (just don’t be mean) also idk if the peeing thing is weird, i think it’s kinda cute so 🤷‍♀️
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I feel moved to do this so I’m gonna
I can only speak for the US, but if you think covid isn’t a big deal anymore you are being lied to. on multiple levels.
First and most important, covid is airborne. It was always airborne. This is a well-established fact in the medical community and has been for awhile. What this means is that, in indoor spaces and crowded outdoor spaces, it is chilling in the air and you are inhaling it with every breath you take. The more virus you inhale, the sicker you will be. The gov knows it, the cdc knows it, everyone knows it. Nobody wants to say this to avoid accountability that they fucked up the initial response with a focus on droplets, and they don’t want “panic”. Plus it will obviously cost them more.
herd immunity was never, and is not going to be, a thing with this virus
You can and will get reinfected. And with every infection, you’re at higher risk of severe disease and organ damage, including your brain.
Two very large studies on Long Covid have recently come out, and in summary, it is very real and you don’t want this shit. It’s estimated that 1 in 5 infected people will get it and there is no cure yet. Even if we find one, organ and brain damage is not reversible.
covid is causing an increase in brain disorders
this is an LA emergency room today as of August 27 2022 It’s like this all over as you can see in the comments.
children are at significantly higher risk for covid complications
masking doesn’t hurt kids’ speech development
earloop masks don’t do shit to protect you at this point and this is well established in the medical community. It’s N95 or higher or you have very little protection. Any mask is better than no mask. If you have absolutely no choice but to use ear looped masks, a mask brace helps significantly
you can get a p100, a mask with even higher filtration than n95, on amazon for $30. This is the one I bought. Here are more p100 and elastomeric masks you can buy safely
here is an indepth video on how to perform a DIY fit test at home using instructions from the US Army. You should be doing this with every mask you have (if you’re curious as to why federal mask mandates were never enforced or even discussed, it’s because federal law mandates that companies have to fit test every employee if masks are required for airborne protection and they can’t/don’t want to figure out how to work around this for the general public. You need to fit test for a mask to work accurately.)
one of the key components to actually returning life to normal for everyone, including the disabled, is air filtration. The Corsi-Rosenthal Box is a cheap, open source air filter that’s on par with more expensive filtration systems. At it’s best, it reduces 80% of the covid inhalation dose, which is the equivalent of a group of people all wearing decent quality, fitting masks. This not only helps against covid, but also reduces exposure to other respiratory illnesses and even allergies! People all over the country are making these and donating them to schools, businesses, people in need, etc. Here’s a video on how to make one yourself and I highly recommend you do if you can. If you don’t like masks for whatever reason, this is how we get rid of them
here is an awesome thread about traveling during covid
If you’d like reviews on various types of masks and if they pass fit tests, this is the guy you wanna follow
if you’re looking for graphs and charts and statistics, you wanna follow this account
if you wanna know more about air filtration, literally everyone in the medical community worth their salt is constantly screaming about it on twitter, but I recommend following this guy
and if you want accurate information about covid, then you should follow one of the first whistleblowers for the disease. He’s been right about everything so far, and he’s also posting accurately about monkeypox
NOW HOW ABOUT A FEW GOOD THINGS??????
a very promising prophylactic for covid, called Evusheld, exists and has been authorized for emergency use in the US. If you are immunocompromised, over the age of 12, and 88+ pounds, please harass your GPD and pharmacy to give it to you!!!! It is actively being suppressed and the us gov isn’t buying supply, so most medical professionals don’t know it exists and will fight you about it. Even if you aren’t in the US, it’s available in over 100 countries!!!!!
Novavax is a new and very promising vaccine that would be effective for emerging variants, and it’s working better than the current vaccines to prevent infection. But, again, the US is refusing to buy supply and the FDA is dragging their feet because the current administration is pfizer’s bitch :)
also, in general, I know it sounds scary that covid is airborne, but we have a lot of airborne diseases, and we know how to fight them. They aren’t magic. We can and do manage them all the time. It’s just that for some reason (capitalism), we’ve decided not to this time.
but the information is still available. We don’t have to lie down and let this thing destroy our communities and isolate our disabled and vulnerable neighbors. We have the ability, at any time, to end this shit for real and make our local communities safer, with or without the gov’s help.
we just have to do it.
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darlingofdots · 10 days
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I saw a [short-form internet video] today asking who people would trust more to learn from about a topic, someone with a PhD in that subject or a neurodivergent person with a special interest in it, and holy shit you guys we need to address this level of anti-intellectualism. I am the first person to point out that you don't need a fancy degree to learn and know things and that we need to be more open to non-academic expertise in many areas* but when it comes to reliable and trustworthy information, a researcher formally trained in their field should absolutely be considered preferable to a layperson who has studied independently. Not because you can't become an expert on your own but because the processes of academic qualification ensure that a person has both basic and specific knowledge of and training in the methodology and advances in their field, they are practiced in assessing the quality of sources and generating their own data, and they are subject to assessment by other experts. In order to get those fancy letters to go with your name you have to prove that you have the knowledge and skills to meaningfully contribute to the scientific conversation; the title is a reward for your hard work but it's also a kind of quality control seal.
Getting a PhD in any subject is really fucking hard. It's gruelling. Most of us do it because we love our research and want to know everything about our chosen topic. As a lot of commenters on that video pointed out, the PhD and the neurodivergent person are often one and the same! But especially in an era when mis- and disinformation is so rampant, we need to remember that although it is flawed, we do have a system to help us assess whether a person sharing information about something we don't know is likely to be reliable or not, and in the vast majority of cases, people who have passed through years and years of rigorous training and assessment should absolutely be our first pick.**
*my field of choice, popular romance studies, owes a lot of knowledge to readers and fans without relevant degrees or institutional affiliation who share their thoughts and observations through book reviews etc., and we're so grateful to them!
**obviously "experts" can be wrong or malicious and laypeople can have extremely valuable insight or experience that we should not dismiss out of hand. That's not what this is about.
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