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#klance shitpost
kiwifruit67 · 1 month
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AHHHHHHH WILL IT NEVER END!!!?!?!?!?! AM I DEFINED BY MY OBSESSIONS FROM WHEN I WAS 13?!?!
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zesstie · 1 year
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ok, i just need to put out there that this is the first time i've ever written something relatively close to fanfiction, so it's shitty and a little ooc for some of the characters (especially keith ngl). anyways here a small klance oneshot but it's dialogue only!! btw no tw that ik of, but lmk if there's something i should add a tw for! it was written as a school project, so there shouldn't be anything!! enjoy my shit writing, everyone :)
L: “How- how did you find me?”
K: “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re joking, right?”
L: “Uhhhhh….. yes?”
K: “Oh my God you’re being serious, haha! Wow, I did not take you as the dense type.”
L: “Hey! For your information I am very perceptive when I need to be!”
K: “Yeah our lives are kind of in danger right now? I’d take that as a time where perceptiveness is needed! And you obviously didn’t take that perceptiveness into consideration when you practically announced to the world where you were going due to how loud you ran.”
L: “..Touche.”
K: “Anyways, do you have any information on our enemy?”
L: “All I know is that we’re outnumbered. By, like, a lot. We’re the only ones left.”
K: “...Oh.”
L: “Yeah, how’s that for perceptiveness!?”
K: “Point taken, but this isn’t the time to argue! The enemy could be close and be ready to snipe us, and we can’t afford to lose this war.”
L: “Alright. Do you have a plan?”
K: “Well, you know how I said they could be ready to snipe us at any moment?”
L: “I think I see where you’re going with this, K.”
K: “Thankfully, we have a sharpshooter of our own. The only way we can win at this point is to ambush them. They’ve got 5 people, right? I think I’ll be able to pull off leading them together with some distractions, and once they’re all together, you can pick them off from above.”
L: “This is going to be so fun!”
K: “Remember to stay serious, L… But let’s destroy them.”
H: “Dude, we’ve been walking around for forever and there’s still no sign of anyone. Did we take them all out? I feel like we would have known if we took them all out.”
P: “Yeah, we would have. They’re either really good at this or have no clue what to do, and I’m going with the latter.”
*TING, TING, CLATTER*
H: “What was that? P please, what was that?!”
P: “Calm down!! Finding out where they are is literally our job, H. It sounded like it came from roughly 10 o'clock, but from above due to how long it took to hit the ground. Let’s go back east and tell the others”
A: “H, P! Why are you two over here? I thought your orders from S were to stay separate from the group.”
H: “Yeah, well we know where the enemy is and it's literally on the complete other side, soooooo yeah.”
P: “One of them dropped something, and I thought I heard someone quietly curse under their breath, so they’re def disorganized. ”
C: “Awesome, S isn’t terribly far away so we should regroup and come up with a game plan.”
A: “Let’s go then! We must win!”
K: “Beep. They’re heading over to their leader now, L. You in position? Beep.”
L: “Beep. Never been more ready, K. Beep.”
K: “Beep. Alright then, good luck. I’m counting on you. Beep.”
S: “C just filled me in, great job on finding their location H and P.”
A: “P said that what they dropped sounded like it came from above, so we should ambush from behind and on the same level, instead of from underneath.”
C: “Sounds reasonable enough to me, does anyone have anything else to add?”
H: “Nope!”
P: “Nothing here, let go get th-”
*PEW PEW PEW*
S: “What?! They’re behind us? Everyone, ready you-”
*PEW PEW*
S: “....”
A: “....”
C: “....”
P: “....”
H: “....”
Comms: “TEAM RED HAS WON THIS ROUND OF LASER TAG. PLEASE EXIT THROUGH THE WEST DOOR AND DROP OFF YOUR GUNS AND GEAR AT THE PREP ROOM. WE HOPE YOU HAD FUN PLAYING THIS LAST ROUND OF LASER TAG.”
L: “Woooo Hoooooo!!! K, Did you see that?! I totally had them!”
K: “Yes! Great job, L! I knew you could do it.”
P: “Are they….. Actually getting along? I thought for sure their arguing would be their downfall.”
S: “Well, we’ve just got to not underestimate them anymore. Good game guys, you proved us wrong.”
A: “.... Yet again.”
K: “Don’t forget about the bet, guys!”
L: “YES! Free lunch, I can’t wait to meet you!”
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bonestheghost16 · 6 months
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN LITTLE GAY MEN IN MY PHONE CANT BE A PERSONALITY TRAIT!?!?!??!?!?
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keith, to lance: did you know that shiro has an instagram page dedicated to his bad parking
keith: like someone actually went out every day, looking for his car just to post it on their social media
shiro: PLEASE BE QUIET
shiro: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE QUIET
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plankos · 1 year
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for some reason my brain has decided it’s time to revisit voltron
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lilcatastrophe · 25 days
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vld incorrect posts anyone ?
might just be bc i’m pretty sick rn but i found some of these stupidly funny, so here 😌
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sikuena · 12 days
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au where keith crash lands on earth and gets taken in by the garrison three
documentation of his nightly activities goes to the snap gc
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fling-graysons · 8 months
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I found this on twitter:
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So I really, really had to do this:
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klanced · 4 months
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when adam met 11yo keith he immediately knew that keith was gay and was like i have GOT to support this kid!! (runs into traffic) meanwhile shiro spent years operating under the assumption that keith had like a gender thing going on
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alohaasaloevera · 4 months
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Pidge and Lance reading Reddit stories:
Pidge: Wait, look at this one
Lance: Ok, ok— “My friend keeps trying to imitate the “I’m feeling romantical” meme when we meet up, and I feel very uncomfortable. What should I do?”
Pidge: Wait wait wait what’s the first reply?
*Lance scrolls to the first reply*
Hang up on your computer call, and come and kiss him on his hot mouth
OP: Noted.
*they burst into laughter*
Lance: What if it’s Keith?
Pidge: What?
Lance: Y’know, because you dared me to say that to him for a month?
Pidge: Good point. But that was half a year ago, and this post was just a week ago. So unless…
Lance: …
Pidge: Oh my fucking quiznak, how long have you been doing this?
Lance: I…haven’t stopped.
Pidge: LANCE?!
Lance: You still haven’t figured out if it’s Keith or not!
Pidge: It says here that…cryptids, other stuff, knife— ok, yeah, it’s definitely Keith.
Lance: Shit. I’m screwed.
Pidge: I thought you’d like that?
Lance: Go to hell.
*the sound of a key turning in a lock can be heard from where they are sitting, promptly scaring the shit out of them*
Pidge: I guess we have to find out. *pushes Lance to the door*
Lance: WAITWAIT NO—
*the door opens, revealing none other than Keith.*
Keith: Huh?
Lance: I’m feeling romantical—
Keith: Shit. *kisses him straight on the lips*
Lance: *pulls away* So it was you!
Keith: What?
Lance: The askReddit??? Red_The—
Keith: Oh. OH! You saw that!?
Lance: YEAH I DID?? WHY DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO THAT PERSON’S ADVICE??
Keith: MAYBE BECAUSE I WANTED TO KISS YOU??
Pidge: What?
Lance: What??
Keith: What???
*the two stare into each other’s eyes longingly, before they crash together and make increasingly more graphic sounds as Pidge just watches in a state of pure horror*
Pidge: Why the fuck did we even get chosen to be Voltron Paladins?
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rinterests · 2 months
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between his standoffish nature and being RIPPED
when he walks around i just KNOW keith is stiff as hell
man walks like he's a robot operated by ants
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klaissance · 2 months
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WHERE'S THAT OTHER POST ABOUT NYT CONNECTIONS
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bugman02 · 2 years
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This was originally a tiktok i made but i figured it would translate well into a lil comic, so enjoy
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tastethepainbowbitch · 6 months
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Klance reference spotted in Olive Garden
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lance: is your mouth cold?
keith: no?
lance: i could warm it up for you
keith: i said no
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introverted-tree · 2 years
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take a meme I made while crying :D
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