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jiminzfilter · 3 years

Text

slow dancing in the night

→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader

→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing

→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?

→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)

→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)

→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook

Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.

Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.

Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.

Yeah, it was exhausting.

This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.

It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.

He is not working today.

That lucky bastard.

He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.

You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.

You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.

Okay no. Let’s be real.

You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.

It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.

Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.

Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.

But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.

I mean.

Who could blame you ??

That was Kim frEaking Taehyung

!!!

He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.

It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie

Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.

First day of work and you’re already failing falling.

That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily

If only

The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.

GreaT

He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.

From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)

After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.

So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.

He was still your best friend...somehow

Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life

And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.

8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.

Especially while wearing heels

Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said

“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”

You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”

“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”

You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”

The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.

Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.

After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.

Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.

It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.

It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.

A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.

Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss

It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)

You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…

It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.

Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…

You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”

There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.

Weird…

“Taehyung ?" You call one last time

Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back

“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”

You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.

“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.

Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.

“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.

“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles

“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”

“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him

“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.

You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.

After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.

Once again, you smell lavender all around you.

When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt

“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.

“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”

“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”

Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.

As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.

oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.

Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.

Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.

The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀

“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”

He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.

You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.

“Hi there beautiful” He whispers

“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising

“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”

You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.

You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.

“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along

“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.

“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.

Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”

If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.

As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”

You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.

“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks

“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.

“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”

He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck

“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.

- You do?

- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?

- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat

“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge

“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”

“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open

what did he sayyyyyyyy?????

whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd

You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.

There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.

“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”

This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?

Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.

He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple

OkaY

now he’s being a tease

Great

1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung

gReAT

Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.

Really.good.freaking.turn.on

Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.

“Tae…”

He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.

“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”

You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-

“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.

It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.

You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.

You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.

“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks

“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply

He laughs, deep raspy laugh.

You’re too tired for this

And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D

Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.

He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.

Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.

#taehyung fics #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung au #taehyung fluff #bts fanfic #taehyung #taehyung ff #fluff #implied smut #model taehyung #bts fics #taehyung oneshot #taehyung one shots #taehyung one-shots #taehyung smut #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung au #it's 2am what am I doing #slow dancing in the night

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nanasarea · 4 years

Text

Park Jisung as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jisung x idol!reader

Requested

Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...)

a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?

Haechan / Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun

you were in the same dance class when you were younger

so you were friends way before either of your debuts

like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie

and of course, both of you being talented dancers

you were both training under companies at a rather young age

and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age

but because you were both still in school

and so young

you knew you should stick together

let’s say you had chemistry homework

but you also had vocal lessons

i’m not saying he would help you

because he wouldn’t

but he would be there to motivate you

and study his own school work

so you weren’t alone

it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school

he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t

same would go reversed

not that either of your moms minded

they found it adorable

and they shipped you both anyway so

that means him and his family coming over for dinner

and you and yours going to theirs for dinner

and your moms would document all of your childhood memories

they would bond over it

since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school,

you both valued your friendship a lot

he ended up debuting before you

and you teased him a lot

until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard

and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds

then he would tease you

and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were

you met most of his members when they were smrookies

but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well

so whenever you could,

you would hang out with each other

and become very close

which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting

you end up having a little celebration

when you actually did debut,

they were so hyped

especially jisung

he streamed your mv so many times

he knew every detail of every scene in the mv

which was adorable

the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions

which meant your company/companies being like

WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT

so they make sure you have a collab stage

like really early in your debut

and it was kinda awkward

but because you knew each other beforehand

you felt completely fine

at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating

to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop

you end up going on so many variety shows together

mainly dance specials

and everyone finds you too adorable

like everyone ships it

but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable

not the case of his members tho

or yours

you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding

you can’t

taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet

he just blushes

it wasn’t until you were both a bit older

and you were at an award ceremony

where everyone was complimenting you

like your dress, makeup, hair, etc

that he realized he liked you

seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend

and start looking at you as an adult

or somewhat of an adult

he can never look at you as an adult

because he would always have the image of you

with 6 empty chocolate milks around you

and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth

as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly

but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him

hanging from monkey bars

after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream

and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke

ANYWAY

he starts seeing you as an adult

kinda

and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you

so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun

and asks for dating advice

jaehyun just yells

“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”

These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings

and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won

but he’s way too happy about winning to care

it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice,

the other halves teasing

and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time

it takes him like 5 months till he confesses

he’s a nervous baby let him be

and when he does get the courage,

he takes you to an amusement park

you don’t go on any of the rides

because he’s scared

but you do play the games and eat food

you even watch the fireworks

which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time

you did a lot of skinship before

like when you were friends

but it wasn’t like this

it was cute

he was so nervous

your palms were both sweaty from nervousness

but neither of you cared

you were just happy to enjoy the moment

that got cheesy

he even walked you to your dorm

like to right in front of your door

which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek

but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss

and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator

where he smiled to himself

and tried to calm himself down

so the members wouldn’t see him like this

but they did

they teased him

and just yelled with him

“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin

“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno

“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun

the others find out

and tease him

mostly they just congratulate him tho

“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong

“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny

“when’s the wedding?” -taeil

“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo

“no weddings! yet!” -kun

“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun

they might have gone a bit overboard

but can you blame them

it’s their baby we’re talking abt

they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club

also you end up not telling your parents right away

and they keep match making

so you end up being like

“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”

cue both of your moms get excited

like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas

and having the cutest grandchildren

even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months

something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything

phone cases

(probably anna and kristoff ones)

then profile pictures

jewelry

clothing

anything and everything

he’d find it so cute

speaking of matching profile pics

the fans would realize what was going on

when you would match your pfps

so your company/companies were like

yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback

your dating announcement is like super chill

mainly because everyone was waiting for it

also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair

and fixing it

like all the time

a single hair out of place?

we can’t have that!

his hands are in your hair already

would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that

and would always make something for you too

“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.”

also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him

doesn’t matter

would want to hear you call him oppa

but immediately get shy after

also he’s an aquarius

so if you end up getting really random texts during the day

like during your schedules

don’t be surprised

like he’s already maknae on top

so he will rebel to like some of the things you say

“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”

“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time

cries when you joke about leaving him there

speaking of crying,

we all know he’s emotional

and cries easily

so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry

and just placed his head on your shoulder

to hide his facial expression

but it’s okay

you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day

he might not know how to comfort you at first

but he will learn

and he’s pretty mature for his age

so he would take comforting you very seriously

he’s a really good listener

so he would love to just hear you vent to him

it would kinda boost his ego a bit too

like he’s the one who you’re venting to

yknow what i mean?

but also he protects you very well

you get scared of a spider

he goes all manly mode

and gets rid of it for you

doesn’t like to admit it,

but he thinks about you a lot

and your future

like once you two grow out of your idol lives

and into a more adult life

where you get married

and have kids

kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)

because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all

speaking of weddings

his older brother got married

and obviously you were his date

and everyone kept looking at you two

asking when it was your turn

your mom said “hopefully soon”

“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”

“but one day...”

time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement

and everyone is crying

they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??

what???

the announcement was everywhere

also you don’t announce anything about a child

one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter

with a caption like

“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”

or something like that

and everyone goes wild

nation’s babies having a baby?

legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day

to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for

.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.

tag list: @soleilchannie

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d-rklaw · 3 years

Text

Recap

1. It’s been a while since I last posted, and a lot has happened: finished up my fellowship, had lots of farewell parties, took a business class flight back to Sydney, spent two weeks in hotel quarantine, reunited with DZ, moved in with him into a new rental, furnished the place, reunited with some of my old friends, spent Xmas with DZ’s family, celebrated the new year... and now tomorrow marks the first day of my new job. How did time fly by so quickly? I’ve managed to have 6 weeks off work but it feels like just yesterday I finished up in Toronto. I was especially touched by all the gifts, well wishes and celebrations everyone threw for me before I left. I’d always felt deep down that I didn’t really belong in Canada, but there was no doubt in my mind that I knew the friendships forged there would be lifelong. People tell me that I’m a social being who makes friends really easily (which I still find super weird but am starting to accept), but I’m truly very grateful for all the people I’ve met along my journey who’ve supported me.

2. 2020 saw some of the darkest times of my life. I know, I say that probably too often.. maybe I’m being dramatic? But regardless, the beginning of the year saw me start to see a counsellor which helped me through some of my mental issues, but it all went to shit when the pandemic hit and I was basically trapped in Toronto. I cried at work for the first time (not over a patient). Things were beginning to look more and more bleak... but apparently I had a breakthrough and started on antidepressants, which surprisingly worked to mitigate my anxiety. There were some side effects which I don’t enjoy, but overall I’ve been pretty satisfied with being able to feel somewhat stable for the first time in years.

3. A combination of factors this year was really bad for my health overall... quarantine/lockdown periods, decreased exercise, more frequent dinners, antidepressants etc. meant that I’m now the heaviest I’ve been in my life. While this isn’t necessarily a terrible thing, especially as I’ve already got a partner, I can’t let it get out of control. DZ and I have resolved to workout 3 times a week using our new gym equipment and do yoga + cardio on the other days. We’ll see how long it lasts...

4. I’m quite anxious about starting work (although without the pills, who knows how much it could be). I’ve visited my workplace already to try and hit the ground running when I start tomorrow, but I’m still pretty nervous about treating tumour sites that I haven’t looked after for quite some time. Not to mention dealing with the work computer systems that I’m not used to once more. I just really want to do well to get the permanent job so I can be set for life! Thinking back upon this year I think I’ve achieved a fair bit at work, which is kinda mind blowing given how much impostor syndrome I experience when I’m in the workplace. Motivation to keep going with some of my projects has dropped over the last few weeks but I’m hoping it’ll pick up again once work starts.

5. I think overall I’m in a pretty good place. As horrible and unforgettable as some aspects of 2020 were, I’m grateful for the way things have turned out for me ultimately. This year is definitely going to see its own set of challenges for me to face, but after gaining life experience overseas, being a doctor during a pandemic, and making the decision to cut my time in Canada short to come home... I think things will turn out alright. Here’s to 2020 - even though it was a shit year, it can only go upwards from here.

#recap #2020

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fanficnewbie · 4 years

Text

Sienna Weighs In P6

OPEN HEART: SECOND YEAR - CHAPTER SIX

(ETHAN x FEMALE MC)

MC is Dr. Francesca Houseman *This entry takes place between the visit to Leland Bloom’s house and the tests on his yacht. (This is a chapter by chapter series…)

Sienna cheers on Francesca for standing up to Ethan.

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS Chapter 1: MC tells Sienna about her Ethan convo at Donahue’s. Chapter 2: MC and Sienna discuss Ethan’s gym routine. Chapter 3: MC questions how well she really knows Ethan. Chapter 4: MC takes Elijah and Sienna to see Evelyn’s exhibit. Chapter 5: Sienna talks MC through a panic attack over Ethan. Word Count: 1889 Rated: Teen

***

“To standing up for yourself!” Francesca and Sienna clinked their beer bottles and each took a healthy gulp before setting them back on the bar.

Francesca turned and surveyed the Sunday night crowd at Donahue’s, it was only slightly busy. Old school hip hop played while a few patrons danced. Most were at tables littered with various drinks and engrossed in animated conversations with their friends and/or colleagues.

She swiveled back on her barstool to Sienna who gave her a knowing smile. “It felt good didn’t it?”

Francesca grinned widely, “It felt soooo good! Almost as good as Baz & June coming to my defense on the way over to the Bloom Estate. Ethan’s been treating me like crap for weeks and it was nice to know that others noticed it too.”

Sienna nodded, “I’m not gonna say I told you so but…”

Francesca playfully pushed her, “Shut up.” She took another sip, “What did Ethan even say to you when he showed up yesterday morning?”

Sienna shrugged, “Nothing really. He looked pissed and it was obvious he was there to see you so beyond ‘hello’, there wasn’t much to say.”

Francesca toyed with her beer bottle, “It probably kills him that you know about us.”

Sienna took a sip, “Well that’s his deal not mine. You guys are both adults, I’m just tired of waiting for the man to come to his senses. It’s like watching Elijah and Phoebe all over again.”

Francesca groaned and chewed on her bottom lip before looking back up, “Hey, speaking of Elijah…”

Sienna held up her hand, “Jackie already told me and you guys should just drop it. You gave him your advice and now it’s up to him. We’re all going to deal with our interns the way we see fit and that just is not going to look the same for everybody.”

Francesca scowled, “Sothy can’t even do a basic blood draw, that’s not acceptable.”

Sienna grew sullen, “We all have our individual challenges to overcome.”

Taken aback at the sudden shift, Francesca studied her friend closely. The week before she had commended Sienna when she triumphantly shimmied into a pair of jeans from college, but now she realized that she was starting to look too thin, almost gaunt with darkening bags around her eyes. She touched her arm, “Hey, so many of these conversations are about me and my dumbass issues. But are you okay? You’ve been so tired lately and you’re still losing weight…”

Almost on cue, Sienna turned to her, her face instantly brightening, “No silly, I’m fine, I’m great. You brought me out for a celebratory drink so let’s celebrate!”

Francesca sighed and gently squeezed Sienna’s arm, “Listen, you know you can talk to me about anything without judgment right? I’m your friend and I’m here to help you through whatever. This doesn’t always have to be about me and I’m so sorry if it has been totally one-sided as of late.”

Sienna smiled, “Francesca I love our convos, and I love helping you, and I know I can come to you, and I promise, I’m fine. A-okay.” She patted Francesca’s hand reassuringly.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Sienna reached for her phone. “Hey, I haven’t checked Pictogram in like forever. Did it work? Did Dr. Ramsey like that photo you posted a few days ago? Oh my God, I can’t believe I forgot all about it.”

Francesca smiled smugly as Sienna unlocked her phone. Yes, Ethan had liked her photo. It was a stunner, one she had taken the Summer before she started at Edenbrook. Surprisingly, the whole thing had actually been Jackie’s idea…

***

“So hell hath frozen over and Ethan Ramsey has a Pictogram account!”

Francesca was sitting on the floor in their living room, her back against the couch with her laptop in her lap. Sienna was above her, sitting horizontally across the couch in the same position. She peered over Francesca’s shoulder, “Oh my god, you got him to post a half-naked photo of himself?!”

Jackie walked into the living room with her tablet, “Who’s half-naked?”

Sienna and Francesca both froze for a second before Francesca answered. “Uh, Dr. Ramsey. I helped him create a Pictogram account so he could search Gwyneth’s product history. His profile photo is from when he ran a triathlon so he’s in swim shorts. He only allowed me to use it because he figured nobody would ever see it.”

Jackie sat down and leaned over Francesca to view the image, she raised her eyebrows, “Wow! Who knew he was hiding that six pack under his lab coat? Damn Francesca, I’m finally starting to see why you’re so into the guy.”

Jackie’s eyes met Francesca’s astonished gaze, she chuckled, “You really don’t think I’m that stupid do you?”

Francesca’s face reddened, “Please don’t tell me it’s that obvious?”

Jackie thought for a second, “Nah, I honestly think I may be the only one who’s caught on, besides Sienna of course. I mean, we live with you. I’m sure you’re fine at Edenbrook, I’ve never heard any rumors.”

Sienna nodded, “Francesca, you know I’d tell you if I ever heard anything. I mean some people are still jealous of your rapport with Dr. Ramsey but they all attribute it to your top intern spot and Banjeri save.”

Jackie shrugged and she typed on her tablet, “Accurate.”

Francesca visibly relaxed, “Okay well, I can live with that. Anyway, I was just telling Sienna that he has an account now and I think it’s kind of hilarious. I mean, he kept it private and I’m his only friend.”

Francesca suddenly turned to her friends, her voice earnest,”You guys cannot tell anyone about this account or picture. He’ll know immediately that it came from me. Promise you won’t tell.”

Sienna put her hand on Francesca’s shoulder, “I promise. You already know we can keep secrets hon.”

Jackie gave Francesca a mischievous smile, “Same, but only on one condition.”

Francesca paled, “Oh god, what?”

Jackie turned her screen around where she had pulled up Francesca’s Pictogram account, “You set a thirst trap.”

Sienna frowned, “What’s that?”

“No, no, no, no.” Francesca vehemently shook her head.

Jackie turned to Sienna, still smiling broadly, “It’s a sexy photo that you post to make your followers thirsty. In this case, to make one specific follower thirsty.”

“No, it’s obvious and desperate and…” the panic in Francesca’s voice started to mount.

Sienna cut her off, “I like it. Where do we find a photo?”

“Wait Sienna, what? No!” Francesca looked at them both incredulously, “How pathetic does that make me look? Less than two weeks after Ethan becomes my PG friend, I post some random, sexy photo? Come on, even he could see through that one.”

Jackie shrugged, “I’d say you’ve waited too damn long as it is!”

Francesca was at a loss for words as she stared down her two friends. She slowly realized that she had no choice if she wanted to keep Ethan’s account under dibs and sagged against the couch in defeat, “Fine. But only because I know you won’t find a photo worth posting anyway.”

Undeterred, Jackie opened a new browser window, “What photo storage account do you use and what’s the password?”

Francesca gave her the details as she stood up, “I can’t believe this is happening, I need a drink. I’ll be right back.”

Her friends didn’t even acknowledge her exit as they started scrolling through the hundreds of photos on her Google account.

Several minutes she returned to their flabbergasted faces. “What? What’s wrong?”

Jackie turned her tablet around and Francesca’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit! I forgot all about that photo.”

Jackie shook her head in awe, “I didn’t even think you had it in you.”

Sienna giggled, “That my dears, is a bona-fide thirst trap.”

Francesca sat down and marveled at the photo, “I took that in Cancun after graduating from med school. I went with a group of friends and it was the perfect day on the beach, so we decided to be silly and take photos in our favorite “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition” poses.”

Her mind started to change as she contemplated Ethan’s reaction to the photograph. “Hmmmm, I do look kinda hot huh?”

Jackie raised an eyebrow, “Kinda? No red-blooded, hetero man will be able to resist the allure, the pure sex of this picture. Dr. Ramsey among them.”

Francesca took a deep breath, “Post it.”

***

Sienna scrolled through the likes and comments, “Wow, is this the most popular post on your account?”

Francesca laughed, “I believe so. Even the friend who took it wanted me to tag her for credit.”

Sienna grinned as she came across Ethan’s red heart, “There it is.”

Francesca smirked, “Yup.” she leaned in, “And let me tell you the most infuriating part. I kept checking my phone to see if he had liked the photo. Nothing for two days. So, the next night I was up really late studying. I didn’t go to sleep until just after 1am, and I checked my phone before I dozed off, nothing. I woke up like three hours later to pee and guess who had liked my photo?”

Sienna’s eyes went wide, “Wait, in the middle of the night? He was on your account in the middle of the night!”

Francesca nodded, “And, and this was after the whole Gwyneth/Board thing. So at the same time he’s giving me the cold shoulder at work, he’s lurking on my account at home.”

Sienna shook her head in disbelief, “That man is so confused.”

Francesca rolled her eyes, “Whatever. That’s why I stripped down in front of him yesterday.”

“What?!” Sienna’s mouth hung open.

Finishing the last of her beer, Francesca smiled, “I needed to kick him off his hypocritical high horse. So, after he barged into my room telling me I had three minutes to get ready on my day off, I called his bluff. I literally took off my underwear right in front of him. I mean, I turned my back to him but still, the look on his face was fucking priceless.”

Sienna turned to Francesca, put hands on her shoulders, and met her eyes, “You are officially my hero.”

Francesca smiled, “Well, that deserves another round.” She motioned to the bartender.

“Plus, I’m sure we’ll only be celebrating this victory tonight. Who knows how he’ll act towards me at work tomorrow, especially now that we’re in this absurd competition with Mass Kenmore.”

Sienna exhaled, “Yeah, you and Aurora going to be okay? I cannot take a repeat of the Landry experience.”

Francesca nodded, “I swear to you that we’ll be fine, We talked it out, made a pinky promise and everything. I’m more worried about Ethan and Tobias.”

Sienna frowned, “Aurora’s new boss?”

“Yeah, apparently he and Ethan have some bad blood,” Francesca shrugged, “I have no idea what it is about though.”

Sienna thanked the bartender as he placed fresh drinks in front of them and reached for hers, “Well that’s a good thing right? Now, he has somewhere else to direct his anger.”

Francesca thought for a moment, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Cheers to that!”

Sienna clinked her glass, “Hun, how many times do I have to tell you…I’m always right!”

Read the Ethan Pictogram Companion Piece here: Pictogram Pitfalls & Chapter 7: Francesca confides in Sienna how she met Ethan’s mother.

***

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. YOUR LIKES AND COMMENTS MEAN THE WORLD!

TAG LIST

@i-bloody-love-drake-walker @senseofduties @octobereighth @jooous @fenekko @msjpuddleduck @perriewinklenerdie @polishchoicesfan @alwaysmychoices @binny1985 @cordoniansqueen @heauxplesslydevoted @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @sherlockedmcu @xxdangerouscapri15xx @paisleylovergirl @dr-nancy-house @humaumount @stanathanxoox @trappedinfandoms @padfoot0415 @thefluffyphotographer @oofchoices @crazy-loca-blog @yorit1 @hopelessly-shipper @lovebubblechoices @lifeof-liv @the-soot-sprite @mfackenthal @loveellamae @sharrybh20 @soft-for-drake @choices-lurker @cerisesayeed-ramsey @the-other-ramsey @princess-geek @flyawayboo @riverrune@ethandaddyramsey @queencarb @vika-rafa @ramseyandrys @togetherwearerapture @bellcat2010 @imescullen @teenytinytanya08 @ethanramseyyy @amy-choices

#open heart #ethan ramsey #dr ramsey #open heart fanfic #open heart fanfiction #open heart fandom #ethan x mc #choices open heart

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wrestlingisfake · 4 years

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G1 Climax B Block final preview

This is the final round of B Block matches in this year’s G1 Climax tournament. Whoever finishes with the most points at the end of this show will win the block. (If there’s a tie for first place, the man with the best record against the other leaders wins.) The B Block winner goes on to face the A Block winner on October 18.

In each block match, a win is worth 2 points, and a loss is worth 0. In a 30-minute time-limit draw, the participants get 1 point apiece. No championships are at stake, but as always in New Japan, a non-title victory over a champion gives you the right to demand a title shot.

EVIL (6-2, 12 points) vs. SANADA (5-3, 10 points) - Evil can win B Block by winning this match. Sanada can only win the block if he wins this match and Tetsuya Naito loses to KENTA.

From 2016 to 2020, Evil and Sanada were a top heavyweight tag team representing Los Ingobernables de Japon. But then they met in the New Japan Cup this year and Evil was particularly heartless. Little did we know then that Evil would go on to defect from LIJ to Bullet Club. Obviously LIJ was heartbroken and betrayed, but we never really heard from the member who was closest to Evil. I’ve been waiting for this one-on-one encounter.

Curiously, though, Evil’s story has shifted away from his betrayal of Naito to trouble brewing within Bullet Club. Jay White and Evil aren’t even in the same block, and we now know they can’t possibly meet in the finals, but they’ve been snipping at each other in post-match interviews for a couple of weeks. It’s a point of pride for Evil to reach the finals where Jay could not. But win or lose, something’s up with Evil and Jay, and I don’t know when it’s going to explode.

Could Jay screw Evil in this match? That’d be the play in WWE, but it’s not a very New Japan sort of thing to do. Then again, the Ospreay vs. Okada finish last night has me second-guessing what New Japan would or would not do.

Bullet Club intrigue aside, the bottom line for me is that Evil’s run as top heel has run its course and everybody would be better off with a Sanada push. I don’t know if Sanada can or should win the G1. But I’m a lot more interested in him reaching the finals than seeing Evil do it. All Evil can do is win and chase Naito again, and we’ve seen that. We’ll probably see it again no matter what. So as long as that’s happening either way, we might as well get a Sanada push too while we’re at it.

Tetsuya Naito (6-2, 12 points) vs. KENTA (4-4, 8 points) - Naito is the IWGP heavyweight champion and IWGP intercontinental champion. Kenta holds a contract to be the next challenger for the erstwhile IWGP United States championship. Kenta is mathematically eliminated, but Naito can still win B Block if he scores more points than Evil or Sanada.

Kenta famously did a run-in on Naito’s victory celebration in the Tokyo Dome back in January, and got a title shot out of it in February. But he didn’t really feel like he belonged at that level, and I never bought him as a serious threat to Naito. I still don’t, frankly. It would make sense for Kenta to win to set up a rematch for the title down the line, but I’m not terribly excited about that prospect. I’m more interested in seeing Kenta pursue the US title, which I think he could actually win.

I feel like Naito has to lose to ensure that Evil vs. Sanada is for all the marbles. But I also think it’s telling that most of Naito’s block matches have been very long, getting up near the 30-minute time limit to tease a draw. A draw for Naito would have the same impact on Evil vs. Sanada as a Naito win, though, so I don’t know if there’s any point to that except to fill time. This match is kinda hard to read, so I’ll just go with my gut and pick Kenta to win.

Zack Sabre. Jr (5-3, 10 points) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (3-5, 6 points) - Sabre is one of the IWGP heavyweight tag team champions. Like I said yesterday, Tanahashi and Kota Ibushi have feuded with Sabre and Taichi for the tag title all summer. Ibushi’s win over Taichi last night could mean a renewal of that program, and if Tana can win beat the other tag champion that would all but clinch it.

If Sabre wins, his 12 points might be enough to match the top score, but none of the potential tiebreaker scenarios work in his favor, so he’s as mathematically elimianted as Tanahashi. So this is really just about Tana trying to get back into title contention, and Sabre trying to put Tana out to pasture once and for all. Honestly, as much as I like Tanahashi, I’d prefer to see Zack just win here to get it over with, so he can move on to new business.

Hirooki Goto (4-4, 8 points) vs. Juice Robinson (3-5, 6 points) - Goto is one of the NEVER trios champions, but I think Juice may be less interested in that prize than chasing Kenta’s US title contract. Neither of these guys can win the block, so it’s all about trying to finish with as many points as possible. Goto will want to get to a winning record, while Juice would at least like to tie his personal best score of 8 points. Either of these guys could get the win, but I think it’ll end up going to whomever has the bigger role to play over the next few months. I have a feeling that’s Juice.

Toru Yano (3-5, 6 points) vs. YOSHI-HASHI (1-7, 2 points) - Yano is the provisional KOPW 2020 champion or whatever that is. I’m real curious when and how he’s going to defend that thing. Yoshi is one of the NEVER trios champions, and I bet he’s real glad the KOPW trophy exists to prove the trios belts are no longer the most pointless title in the company.

Yoshi has had a rough run in this year’s G1, which really shouldn’t surprise any of us. But he is a champion now, so his fans would at least hope for him to get up to 4 points. It should be feasible for him to pull it off against Yano. But Yano is the x-factor of B Block and you can never assume he’ll be an easy win.

I’m less concerned with who wins this thing than with Yano coming up with something genuinely creative. I’ve been loving his shtick this year, but he’s already gone through most of his bag of tricks, and I don’t want to see him tape a guy to the barricade again just because it’d work. He should do Yoshi the honor of pulling out something new.

Yuya Uemura vs. Gabriel Kidd - This isn’t a G1 Climax block match--it’s just a prelim match featuring the young boys. As of last night’s show, Yota Tsuji is leading this informal series, with a 6-4-2 record against the Uemura (5-5-1) and Kidd (4-6-1). So to you or me it doesn’t seem like it matters who wins this last match. But among the Young Lions, everything is a competition, so you can beat Kidd and Uemura want to go tooth and nail for second place. I’m thinking Kidd wins this one.

#njpw #g1 climax

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sarah-writes-stories · 4 years

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Chapter 14: Living Legend

A Post-Canon Inuyasha Romance/Adventure Epic

Find it on: Fanfiction.net / AO3 / Wattpad

Words: 2,254

Prologue • Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5 • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 • Chapter 10 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 12 • Chapter 13 • Chapter 14

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Kagome and Inuyasha stayed with Miroku and Sango's till after lunch. But eventually, Kagome remembered that Kaede had wanted to speak with her and had asked her to return.

"I think it's time we should be heading back to Kaede's," she said aloud to the room.

"So soon?" Sango didn't try to hide the disappointment from her voice.

"Yeah, Kaede wanted to talk to me about something and asked me to come back."

"Ah, okay, well, will we see you tomorrow?" Sango asked hopefully.

Miroku smiled at his wife. It had been hard for her to be without her closest friend all these years. If for no other reason than the happiness that Sango felt at having Kagome returned to her, Miroku wanted to celebrate the young Miko's return.

"Of course, Sango!" Kagome moved to give Sango a swift hug and a reassuring smile before she and Inuyasha waved at the rest of the family, calling out some quick goodbyes before heading out the door and back into the street.

But the walk back to Kaede's was nothing like their earlier walk had been. Now it was the middle of the day and life in the village was in full swing. Men and women came and went along the dirt road, as children ran and played in front of the homes that they passed.

And here and there, Kagome could also see small groups of men and women huddled together, speaking in hushed tones. She sighed, clearly the gossip and whispers of her return had spread like wildfire.

Sure everyone was very polite, calling out greetings to the great Lord Inuyasha and Lady Kagome, but it was the slack-jawed staring that really did Kagome in, until the now-legendary Priestess began feeling very much like a freak on a side-show stage.

'I've walked through this village hundreds of times before,' she thought. 'But it was never like this.'

Before, she'd been something of an oddity, with her strange future clothing and the fact that they all knew she was Kikyo's reincarnation. But this? The unadulterated awe at her very presence was just too much for Kagome. It felt wrong.

"Who's that, mama?" Kagome heard a little girl ask as she pointed toward the pair.

"Hush, child, and do not point!" It was an older woman, likely the child's grandmother spoke. "Ōji-sama and Miko-hime will hear you!"

Inuyasha could smell Kagome's discomfort as he watched her shrink in on herself. He stopped walking.

"Hey."

"Come on, Inuyasha, let's just hurry and get back." She tried to grab his hands and hurry him along, but it was like trying to hurry a mountain. He didn't budge.

"Hey." He said again, trying to get her attention enough for her to look at him.

"What?" She finally looked him in the eye.

"Remember what I said yesterday? You just gotta ignore it. You can't let it get to you. You're still you, just like I'm still me. It doesn't matter what they think."

His gaze bore into her, willing her to accept the truth of his words.

"I know it's just… When I came back, I wasn't expecting everything to be so different, but now I have all of this new power and the people here think of me as some kind of living legend… But I didn't ask for this." She signed before continuing. "Last night, in your– our hut, when I said that I didn't care what the villagers said or thought about us, I guess I was expecting anger or bigotry. I wasn't expecting this."

She waved her hand as though to encompass everything, then gave Inuyasha a small smile before continuing, "Sometimes I forget that you're a prince."

He growled at that. "I ain't no prince."

"But you are, Inuyasha. It doesn't matter that your mother's family cast you out or that your brother rejected you. You've always carried yourself with the nobility and honour of the royal houses that bore you. That sense of honour and the strength behind it is just one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you. Not because it makes you a prince, but because it makes you you."

She was thoughtful a moment before continuing. "Part of me always wondered if that was why, after a while, Sesshōmaru stopped trying to actually kill you. Maybe, hanyou or not, he realized that you were an honour to your father's blood."

Inuyasha really wasn't sure what to think of Kagome's words. He felt pride swell within him at the faith she had in him, as though seeing himself through her eyes for the first time. And he wasn't so dense that he hadn't noticed the change in Sesshōmaru , but he hadn't really given much thought as to what might have been behind it.

He shook his head though, "I doubt it. I think any change in that bastard has more to do with Rin than it does with me."

Kagome considered this. "Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe it's a bit of both–"

"Lord Inuyasha! Lord Inuyasha!" Kagome was stopped from saying anything else by a man's voice approaching. She looked up.

"That man, he looks familiar…"

"He should," said Inuyasha. "That's Rikichi, the village headman. I'm sure you met him at some point during the hunt."

Kagome thought back. Yes, she had met this man several times, though she hadn't known he was headman at the time. In fact… "I think– I think he was there when I came out of the well the first time."

"That would make sense," Inuyasha agreed. "That's kinda his job, after all, overseeing stuff."

Inuyasha couldn't say he liked Rikichi much, though he was an honourable man who held his position in the village with great respect. He knew that Rikichi valued Kaede's wisdom and experience and had often followed her lead when it came to dealing with their Pack during the shard hunt – heck, it was probably why he had invited them all to settle here – but a headman was still a headman. It was their job to uphold the traditions and laws and to oversee the smooth proceedings of life within a village. Inuyasha knew from his decades of experience that it usually meant that most headmen were, if not closed-minded, then at the very least very conservative in their opinions… And Rikichi was no exception.

Finally reaching them, he stopped and gave them a bow and a good-natured smile. "Good day to you, Lord Inuyasha. I see that the rumours are true and that the great Lady Kagome has returned to us!"

Rikichi had been there in the field beside the well when the great Miko had been pulled into the Meido. He'd seen the Bone-Eater's Well disappear only to reappear several days later. When he'd asked, Lord Inuyasha had said that the Miko was safe, but the headman still had many unanswered questions, and it was his job to be informed in all things that affected his village.

Rikichi began, "May I ask, Lady Kagome, how did you escape the Meido? We thought you lost to the underworld!"

Kagome glanced at Inuyasha. She wasn't impressed by these pointed questions. The villagers knew that she travelled through the well. However, they didn't know that she travelled through time, and she wasn't about to explain one of the most painful experiences of her life to an all-but-total stranger.

"Well… Inu– Inuyasha saved me."

"I see, I see. And where you have been all these years."

Kagome seemed taken aback by his bluntness. "Uh, me? I've been… home… with my family."

Rikichi pressed on. "Your home? Is that where the well takes you when you jump into its depths and disappear?"

Inuyasha started to growl. He knew exactly why Kagome was hesitant to answer Rikichi's questions. "Look Rikichi–" He began, but Kagome cut him off with a gentle hand on his arm.

"I thank you for being concerned about what happened to me and where I've been, Rikichi-san, but all that matters now is that I am fine and I am here… and here is where I intend to stay." She hoped that the finality of her statement was enough to stop the curious headman from asking any more unwanted questions.

Her statement seemed to catch the headman's attention, "Is this true, Lady, that you will be settling permanently in our village? What a blessed event this is! I would ask for your blessing that we might prepare a great feast in celebration of your return if you would allow us."

Kagome gathered her frayed nerves. After this morning's announcement fiasco, she was the one who'd demanded she be allowed to announce their engagement to everyone else. She glanced at Inuyasha before clearing her throat and continuing.

"Thank you, Rikichi-san, for the kind offer and for your warm welcome. But might I suggest that you delay your offered feast for six days?"

"Eh?" Rikichi seemed confused. "Why delay?"

"Well, in six days time, it will be my 19th birthday. It will also be the anniversary of the first time I ever set foot in this village, the day I released Inuyasha from the Goshinboku… and… well… Inuyasha and I have chosen that to also be the day of our wedding."

Rikichi was dumbstruck at her words. He'd known that the hanyou lord and the young Miko were close comrades and travelling companions, and he'd sensed that Inuyasha had sorely missed the girl when she hadn't returned even after the well had reappeared, but he had not been expecting this.

"But… But…" He stammered. "You are the Shikon Miko!"

"Yes?" Kagome didn't see his point.

"Mikos do not marry." Rikichi shook his head.

After the stress of his earlier questioning, Kagome found his presumptuous statement highly annoying. "Oh yeah? Well, this Miko has every intention of marrying."

Rikichi didn't seem to take the hint, "But is not your power tied to your…ahem… purity?"

Kagome felt her face turning red, though not in embarrassment this time. She could have the patience of a saint, but when she came to the end of it? Well, the number of Inuyasha shaped craters that lay scattered around Edo could attest to what usually happened next. None of this was any of his business, but somehow he was weighing in with an opinion about her love life?

'Oh, HELL no.' she thought.

The power of Kagome's aura swirled around her slightly, just enough to lift her hair and give her body a shimmering pink glow.

She began, her voice rising in pitch the longer she spoke. "I don't see how that is any of your business, Rikichi-san, headman or not. And even if it was, even if being with Inuyasha meant that I'd lose every drop of power that I have, I'd still make that choice a thousand times over! He is the only reason I returned to this place and I intend to marry him six days from now, whether you like it or not!"

Her aura swirled even more, the pink glow would likely now be visible to anyone, whether they had spiritual powers or not.

"Kagome…" Inuyasha tried to warn her what was happening, but his throat closed when he looked at her face and realized that her eyes had been engulfed and were also glowing a bright pink.

Kagome glared hard at the man who had insulted her. She felt a bit weightless, as though she might, at any moment, start floating up off the ground. It was almost as though she could look inside Rikichi… look right through him.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha finally grabbed her arm, singeing his hand slightly. But it was enough to release her from whatever strange trance she'd begun falling into.

She panted, taking a few deep breaths, before biting out the word, "What?"

Inuyasha gave her a strange look before Rikichi finally recovered from his shock enough to speak. He broke the silence with a faltering voice. "It is as you say, Lady Kagome. I apologize for any offence I may have caused. Good day to you both."

Rikichi turned and quickly walked away from the couple. The young Miko was clearly even more powerful than the stories of the final battle with Naraku had ever let on. He had never in his life experienced a reiki aura of that much intensity and power. No, Rikichi would not make the mistake of questioning her or her authority again. Better to have her as a powerful ally and member of the community than as an enemy, curiosity be damned.

A number of people had stopped with curiosity to watch the exchange between the great Miko and the headman, but they hadn't expected this. They all silently stared at Kagome, as though none of them were willing to even breathe.

Finally, as her rage subsided, she felt their combined gazes on her and began to squirm uncomfortably, looking around at the gathering crowd.

After a moment more, she looked at Inuyasha, and in a quiet voice only he could hear, she asked, "Why are they staring at like that? I wasn't that rude was I? Do you think it was something I said?"

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hugsfromdad · 5 years

Text

Hey kids,

How is everyone?

It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.

TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗

My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.

Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.

I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.

This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.

On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.

So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.

So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.

When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.

I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.

I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.

My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.

I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.

Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.

Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.

What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌

Sending hugs and love,

💕-dad

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crashdevlin · 5 years

Text

Holidays, not Holy-Days

Red Queen Chronicles Masterlist

Author’s Note: Originally posted to ao3 (This is an edited and improved version) Part Two of the Red Queen Chronicles!

Summary: Cassie Campbell brings her teammates and friends together for her first ever Christmas dinner. 2 aliens, an atheist, her boyfriend's ex-wife, her ex-boyfriend and an all-American lab rat worried about her mental health. What could go wrong?

Word Count: 8148

Pairing(s): Phil Coulson x OFC (Past), Clint Barton x OFC,

Story Warnings: 18+, HERE BE SEX!!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!, kitchen sex, protected vaginal sex, oral sex (fem rec), identity issues, panic attack,

"Because, Clint, I know that at least two of us, probably three, have never had a Christmas dinner and Wanda hasn't had one since she was orphaned. You guys are my family and I really want everyone here. I've got this big old house to myself and I don't want that on Christmas. I know Nat's not busy. You're retired. You can't say 'no'."

"What about Laur-"

"I asked Laura. She wanted nothing to do with it. Apparently, she and the kids don't leave the house much around Christmas just in case Barney comes home. I think that's probably a real depressing place to be if he doesn't show, so come to Washington. Spend Christmas with your girlfriend and your friends."

Static came through the phone as Clint sighed. "Who is gonna be there?"

"Well, Pepper confirmed for her and Tony, but I'm gonna double check with him. I think I've caught Thor's attention, or at least Heimdall's, so I'll hear from him soon. I sent Steve a paper invite via snail mail a week ago, so I'm gonna call to see if he got it. Wanda and Vision both confirmed and Sam said he has to see what's going on with his family, but he would probably stop by. I'm gonna call Phil after I get off with you, invite him and his people."

"You gonna have enough food for all those people?"

"I'm making a goose, a turkey, and a ham, three kinds of potatoes, four casseroles, homemade rolls, store-bought rolls, cranberry sauce from scratch and 6 different kinds of pie. I have a chart to make sure everything is ready at the same time. I got this. Now, I just need you."

"Oh, tug at my heartstrings. Fine. I confirm for me and Nat. See you on the 22nd, babe."

"Love you, Hawkeye." She hung up and wiped her hand down her face. "Visit or call? Visit or call?"

Cassie sighed and hit the buttons on her landline to call Coulson. "Cassie. How's Seattle?"

"Rainy, but beautiful. Exactly what I expected. So... how's the... lack of hand?" She grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee.

"It's... bad. I'm having issues. My robotics guy is behind on making a prosthetic because our biologist disappeared and they were joined at the hip, but... is that why you called, Cass?"

"No, actually. Well, kinda. I know that the last several months have sucked for pretty much everybody and I'm thinking that we all need a bit of happy. I am hosting a Yule feast on the 22nd, and I'd like you and your A-Team to come."

"Yule Feast?"

"Yeah. I'm inviting a Viking God and a couple atheists, so I didn't want to go too religious on it. That's why I'm doing it early and calling it 'Yule'. It's gonna be great and I'd really like you and yours to be there."

"Even Bobbi?"

"Uh, yeah. Actually, I have a gift specially for her."

"Really? Aren't you dating Barton?"

"I am. Since before Sokovia, actually, since I know you wanna know. No, I developed a thing in my Stark Tech lab that I think screams 'Mockingbird'. I got Tony to agree let me give the prototype to her. If she has any complaints, it'll help me tweak it before any sort of production."

"So... you're calling to invite me and mine to Yule dinner?" There was silence for a few seconds, then Coulson asked, "Are you making sweet potatoes?"

"And sweet potato pie. Mac and Cheese casserole, mashed potatoes and those rolls I made on your birthday."

"What can I bring?"

"Just you and some presents."

"We'll be there."

"Great. See you in a few days." She turned off the house phone and took a drink of her coffee. "Call Tony," she demanded of her cell phone.

"You know who you called. Leave a message."

"The Boss is unavailable. Would you like to leave a message?" The Irish accent of FRIDAY came through the speaker.

"Oh, come on! FRIDAY, tell the man to answer his phone. Tell him I burned down StarkTech Olympia and the insurance guys are gonna be calling next."

"That's not funny." Tony's voice came through the speaker next.

"But effective, wasn't it, Boss?" Cassie asked, with a smile.

"What do you need, Campbell?"

"A vacation and a raise, but beyond that... Pepper RSVP'd for the two of you and I just wanted to make sure she even mentioned it to you before she did that."

"RSVP'd... to your little Christmas thing?"

"Right."

"Yeah. I told her to. We're good."

"Awesome. Everyone's gonna be here. Well, not everyone. Still can't seem to get a bead on Banner and he doesn't really seem like the Christmas type, but... Clint, Nat, Vision, Wanda, Sam, Phil and his crew and you and Pepper are definitely coming. I have a raven to Asgard-don't ask- and an invitation traveling USPS to New York for Steve. It's an actual paper Christmas card. Hallmark just says some things better than me."

"No. You just wanted to make Rogers feel at home. All those words you throw around, no one could say it better than you."

Cassie chuckled. "I got a blank snowman card and wrote inside it. You know me so well, Tony."

"Do you need me to bring anything? I mean, do you need me to tell Pepper we need to bring something?"

"If you want liquor, you have to bring it. I've been keeping a dry house. And... I know how you are about the holidays, so... that's what you should bring."

"All right. Next week. And StarkTech Olympia better be standing and ready for a walk-through when I get there."

"You're gonna make me give you a tour of the lab on Christmas?"

"The 22nd isn't Christmas. I don't even think it's Yule this year."

"Actually, it is. I looked it up."

"Uh-oh. You aren't getting into all that occultist weird stuff that Hitler got your daddy into, are you?"

"I'm insulted, Tony. Even as a joke, that's insulting. I was trying to be more accommodating for the aliens and agnostics on our team, all right? I'm still a Christian and I will be celebrating my savior's birth, likely alone, a few days later. This isn't about the Holy-day, this is about family."

"Yule isn't about family. It's about the God of the Sun dying and being reborn. It's kinda like Easter, without the fertility symbols."

"Oi, don't shit on my religion, Stark. Easter is not about the bunny or eggs, it's about Jesus becoming the Walking Dead. Just be here on Yule and bring booze. I have the feeling we're gonna need it." She hung up before he could and stretched her neck to relieve some of the stress.

****************************

Clint showed up the night of the 21st, calling forth a squeal from the superheroine. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "House smells like pie," Clint said.

"That's 'cause there's three pies in the oven."

"Three? Thought you were doing six?"

"Apple, pumpkin and sweet potato are in now. I've got a no-bake chocolate and a lemon meringue in the fridge setting and I did a pumpkin cheesecake yesterday. Bonus, I wanted to know if I was any good at pecan, so I made an extra pie."

"Wow. You got really into this, didn't you?" Clint asked, flicking a sprig of mistletoe hanging in the doorjamb between the foyer and the living room.

"I didn't have Christmas for twenty years and then, Phil was usually working on Christmas. This is the first time I've ever had a chance to do Christmas. I bought a whole bunch of ornaments and stuff. I've got a real freakin' pine tree in my living room. Real mistletoe that I had to buy through a florist. The dinner. I'm excited."

"How excited?" Clint asked, wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Are you asking for Christmas sex, because I am severely behind on my mise en place?"

"Your what?"

"Food prep. You know, giant meal tomorrow."

"And if I help you with your preparazione del cibo, you can come take a break and show me what you've done with your bedroom since I helped you move in."

"It's been months, Clint. You think we'll even make it up those stairs?" she asked.

"Love it when you turn the modesty off for me," he said, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into a deep kiss.

She moaned into his mouth and tried not get pulled into the feeling of having Clint's hands on her hips again. She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed back from him firmly. "No. I... Clint. There's a lot to do still."

"And sixteen hours 'til the other guests come through that door. You said it, babe, it's been months." Clint brought his fingers up and began to unbutton her green cardigan. "This is adorable on you, by the way. Can we take it off for a sex... I mean, sec."

"Clint. What if the pies burn?"

He pulled the sweater down her arms and tossed it toward the counter. It landed perfectly, hanging from the corner of a slightly open drawer. "We don't even have to leave the kitchen."

"That's not very... sanitary," Cassie breathed out as Clint pulled her camisole top over her head and threw it over to hang with her sweater.

"You have seen my apartment in Bed-Stuy, haven't you?" Clint asked, turning her around and pushing her so that she was leaning over the counter. "How much do you think I care about sanitary? Thank you for wearing a skirt." He kissed the back of her neck as his hands glided down her legs to pull her skirt up around her hips and hooked his fingers in the band of her panties.

"There's really only one thing in this kitchen I've been dying to eat, Cass, and it's not in the oven."

"Oh. Don't be vulgar."

He pulled her panties to her feet and kissed his way up the back of her thigh. "You love it when I'm vulgar." He picked her left foot up and pushed it to rest on the counter. His tongue delved quickly into her as his left hand came around to rub her clit. His right hand dug into his back pocket and tossed a condom onto the counter. It landed perfectly on the back of Cassie's hand, as Clint continued his assault.

She ripped the foil open and handed it backward to Clint, who stood, pulling his jeans down and rolling the condom over his mostly-hard length. "Wasting no time, huh?"

"Hey, you're the one that's worried about pies. And I've been thinking about this since before I got on that plane. I'm more than ready enough. You need more foreplay?"

"God, no. Just fuck me, we can do this the right way after the guests leave."

"My thoughts, exactly." He lined himself up with her, putting his left hand on her shoulder and his right on her hip. He pushed the head of him into her, both of them closing their eyes at the sensation. He swiveled his hips forward until he was completely sheathed in her. "Did I mention how much I've missed you?"

"Missed me or missed this?"

"It can't be both?" He asked.

"Such a charmer," she whispered as he pulled back until he was just barely inside her. She bit her lip in anticipation and let her head fall forward as he began a fast-paced piston motion. "Fuck, Clint."

"Gotta visit more." Clint groaned as he attached his mouth to the junction where her shoulder and neck met.

"Oh, yes. Please. I need more of this in my life." She whimpered as Clint brought his left hand around to rub furiously at her clit.

"I'm gonna cum. You gonna cum with me?"

"Harder, Clint."

"Bossy," he breathed in her ear, but his next several pumps were harder and he pressed his fingers into her clit with much more pressure. As the muscles inside of her began to clench, Clint grunted his approval and emptied into the condom.

Cassie reached forward and grabbed several paper towels, as Clint pulled the condom off and tossed it into the trash. She handed the paper towels to him and reached down to pull up her panties. "I love you and that was great, but... I have to wash my hands and check on pies. Why don't you go put your bag in the bedroom?"

"I love you and that was great." He kissed her cheek and walked out of the kitchen, fattening his jeans.

*******************

Thor's arrival brought rain down on the house, harder than the normal Seattle drizzle, and made slush of the December snow. "Thor! A-and Sif!" Cassie said, pulling the door open. "I wasn't expecting you to bring Lady Sif."

Thor gave a huge smile as he passed through the doorway to greet Pepper, Clint and Tony. Lady Sif stopped in front of her and smiled. "I've heard much about you, Lady Cassie. Thor has regaled us of your warrior personality and your great intelligence. You'd do well on Asgard."

"Regaled you? Wha-"

"Yes, the Allfather and I both greatly appreciate the tale where Loki came to you disguised as one of your advisors and you caved in his chest with one great kick."

Cassie blinked at the giant woman. *The Allfather. Thor still doesn't know. Shit.* "The Allfather... that doesn't seem like something he'd care about."

"On the contrary," Thor said, placing a long, poorly-wrapped pole against the wall next to the tree. "Father enjoys hearing about you. He especially loves to hear about Ulysses Klaue's ship."

"Ah, yes! How you were able to redirect the witch's influence and break out of her hold while Thor and his companions were all stuck inside their minds. That you, a small Midgardian woman, had to carry the mighty Odinson to safety never ceases to amuse."

"It doesn't strike any of you as odd that Odin would care, at all, about what some Midgardian woman's doing?"

Thor clapped a hand on her back and smiled. "You are more than just a Midgardian woman. You are my friend and teammate and, though your marriage to my brother was short and involuntary, I consider you my sister."

"I believe it is your connection with Loki, his obsession with you, that spurred Odin's interest. He's ordered Heimdall report your actions weekly."

"And the ravens are watching me. That's how I got the message to you."

"Just Huginn," Thor answered.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna say it: you ever think Odin might be Loki in disguise?"

Sif and Thor looked at each other, seriously, for a moment before filling the foyer with loud laughter. "You did not tell me she was so adept at the art of jest, Thor!"

Cassie smiled, awkwardly, as Thor put his hands on her shoulders and walked her into the living room. "What's funny?" Clint asked.

"The absurdity that my brother might've gone back to Asgard, where he is a wanted man set to be imprisoned for the rest of his existence for crimes against the Nine Realms, and somehow took over Odin's life and position as King."

"That is funny. Even Loki isn't crazy enough to go back to Asgard," Tony said, a glass of suspiciously thin eggnog in his hand.

"What if he did it when you thought he was dead; before he even came back for me?" Cassie whispered.

Everyone in the room looked around as they realized she was serious. "Kid, where's this coming from?" Tony asked.

"Odin has taken an interest in her. My tales of her mightiness have made her an interest for him. She thinks this odd." Thor responded.

"You guys are right. It's absurd. Loki would never have made it to the throne room. Heimdall would've seen. He doesn't ever miss anything, right?"

"Exactly," Thor said, with a smile.

Cassie nodded and walked toward the door as the chime rang through the house. *Planted the seed. Nothing else I can do. Except admit that I've known since I was Joanna and I should've told them when I got back from Austria and Thor needs to go depose Loki from the Allfather's throne. Which will stall their trust in me, and rightfully so. Erg. Just not on Christmas, Cassie.* "Phil!" she said, with a smile as she opened the door. She wrapped her arms around him, then turned to the tall blond. "Bobbi, nice to see you up and about. How's the knee?"

"Better than the lung. Leg only hurts when I move."

"Lung hurts when you breathe. Gotcha. Well, I don't have any medical personnel here, but I've got several scientists and Nat and Clint might have some of those SHIELD un-approved pain killers that Phil's supposed to act like he's never taken because he's Director now."

"Uh-oh, Coulson. You sure you wanna introduce us to your (super young, by the way) ex? Might learn some stuff about you." A woman with wavy brunette hair and a black leather jacket said.

"'Skye', right? Wait, 'Daisy' now. Nice to meet you. Cassie. And yeah, young, but strong and awesome and mature for my age."

"You mean, 'our age', right? I mean, if we aren't the same age, then you can't be much older," Daisy started.

"That's not- our relationsh- She's young, but-"

Bobbi laughed. "Let's get inside before Coulson pulls out the whole 'Age ain't nothin' but a number' spiel."

"Ooh, or the 'she seduced me' argument," Daisy replied, as the women walked past the hostess into the foyer where they took off their jackets.

"More likely, the 'You know how hard it is to find someone who understands the job'," Bobbi said, disappearing into the living room.

"We didn't bring any presents. Except Coulson," a sad Scottish accent said as the skinny man who owned it stepped forward.

"That's okay. Got food for you, anyway, Fitz."

"How do you know us all?" Fitz asked, stopping at the doorway.

"I have cultivated an unusual and unexpected friendship with Nick Fury. He put your team together so he told me about you."

"You're friends with Fury?" Coulson asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I showed a little due respect and he showed it back." She pushed the men toward the living room and shut the door. "You know, Fury doesn't have a problem with me dating Clint."

"Probably because Barton isn't old enough to be your father," Natasha called out as they walked into the living room.

"Nat! When did you get here?"

"She walked down the stairs a few minutes ago," Pepper answered.

"Clint left the window unlocked, didn't he?"

Natasha gave her signature smirk. "You shouldn't keep pizza in your bedroom. You'll get bugs."

Cassie turned her gaze to Clint. "There's pizza in my bedroom?"

"I got hungry after you went to sleep. Amazing Nick's is open until 3 am."

"But why is the pizza in the bedroom?"

"The real question is, how'd you miss that when you woke up?" Daisy asked.

"I fell asleep on the couch 'cause I was still cooking. So, he got a pizza at 2 am and took it up to my room to eat."

"I like to be comfy when I'm overloading on carbohydrates and cheese."

"There better not be grease on my comforter."

"Hey, calm down! It's Christmas!" Clint said, with a smile.

"Oh, you got jokes, Barton, but we all know I can kick your well-toned ass, so go get the pizza out of my damn bedroom."

Clint chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

Daisy and Bobbi watched as he bounced up the stairs, two at a time. "Wow. It's weird that you're the grown-up in your relationship. Was it like that with Coulson, too?" Daisy asked.

"Um... Phil and I were both, kinda, the grown-up when we were together. I was grown-up about the domestic stuff and he was grown about everything else."

"Which wasn't much. He wasn't around often," Natasha said, casting her eyes on the Director.

"Fury had me running all over the world, chasing dangerous tech, people and aliens. New York for Stark, New Mexico for Thor and Dr. Selvig. Hong Kong. Portland." Cassie gave a tight smile to the room at the mention of Portland, sitting down next to Pepper. Stark patted her hand as Phil continued. "I was busy, and Cassie knew that I was going to be away a lot. She knew what she was getting into."

"At, what, twenty? She knew what she was getting into?" Pepper chided.

"All right, back off of Phil a little. This isn't the season of shaming. It's the season of giving. And I have presents for most of you, food for everyone. Speaking of, I have to go check the turkey," Cassie said, standing up and heading for the kitchen.

"Need any help in there?" Bobbi shouted.

"No, no. I'm good for now. Might need help in a while but... ooh, actually, if you wanted, I have a crudité platter in here. You could come grab it." Cassie pulled the platter from the fridge and handed it to the gigantic blond woman. "Hummus, ranch, veggies. Nothing that should be offensive to anyone... except maybe the carnivore Asgardians. I don't know if they even eat vegetables."

"I'm sure it's fine. Hey, you know we're just taking the piss out of Coulson for the hell of it, right? It's nothing against you or your relationship. I'm sure it wasn't anything sordid."

"It was true love... for a few years. And then it wasn't." Cassie sighed, pulling open the oven.

"But you've got Clint now. He's a good man. And if you can deal with the infantile way he deals with life, you'll be fine."

"I know. And I can." She stood, baster in hand, and shut the oven door. She looked at Bobbi. "You ever get that feeling, where something is great... it's amazing and awesome and you love it, but something isn't quite right? It's just askew."

"Yeah. Sometimes."

"My whole life is like that. Everything is just a little off center. And I don't know why, so I question everything now... even good men."

Bobbi opened her mouth to say something, but the bell rang again, prompting Cassie to nod at her and walk toward the foyer. "Steve! Wanda and Vision! Hey! Welcome, welcome, and happy holidays!" She stepped out of the way to let the Avengers into the house.

"Happy Christmas!" Wanda said, hugging her.

"Fröhliche Weihnachten, meine Freundin." She gave the brunette a squeeze and turned to Vision with a smile. "Great to see you. I was afraid you'd think this Christmas, or Yule, stuff would be silly."

"Wanda explained the importance. I'd never detract from your rituals. I was, admittedly, a bit lost about what to bring."

"We didn't have much money, but we think you'll be happy with zem," Wanda said.

"I'm just happy you're here. Living room is straight through there. Everybody's already here."

"Sam said he'll be here for dessert," Steve said, closing the door. He looked around the hallway, decked out in reds and greens. "The lights out there are nothing compared to this. You went big on the decorations."

Cassie shrugged. "First Christmas."

"Really?"

"Does it surprise you that Hydra didn't feel the need to tell me about Christmas?" she asked as Steve took his blue coat off and hung it neatly by the door. "I learned about it while I was in the Fridge, through books and stuff."

"You've been out for almost five years, now, right?"

"No one to celebrate with. Fury always made sure Phil was out during the holidays... and after I moved to New York... no one to celebrate with," she repeated.

"I'm sure Nick didn't do it on purpose."

Cassie smiled. "Yeah... he did. He wanted Phil out and away from me as much as possible. Nick and I have discussed this. Anyway, Merry Christmas, Steve."

"Merry Christmas, Cassie," Steve responded, eyeing the mistletoe above her head. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her cheek. "Come on."

"All right, that's everybody except Sam, who won't be here before pie." Cassie walked into the living room and stood next to the tree, Steve leaning against the doorjamb. "So, we can do presents before or after the feast. I'd recommend before, though, 'cause who wants to open presents when they're fighting a tryptophan nap?"

"Break out the presents. That big one, there, that's for me, right?" Tony asked, pointing to a large flat present.

"Actually, yes. Were you shaking gifts while I was out of the room?" she asked, handing the gift to him. He ripped the paper off to reveal a mosaic picture of Iron Man made of thousands of pictures of Tony. "I had a little time while waiting for things to finish at work, so I came up with this. Do you like it?"

"This is... amazing. Look, it's me.... made out of me," Tony said, turning the frame so everyone could see it.

"You had to play to his ego, didn't you?" Pepper joked.

"I knew what he'd like. Okay, so.... Pepper, here you go. Clint, babe. Natasha," Cassie said, handing wrapped boxes to everyone as she said their names. "Now, open them one at a time. I wanna see your faces as you open them. Pepper, you first."

Pepper smiled and tore into the box. "Oh, my. Did you make this?" she asked, pulling up a teal knit scarf.

"Yeah. I tried to make as many of the gifts as I could."

"Where did you find time to learn to knit?" Phil asked.

"Um... I learned to knit a few years ago. I was working on socks... and a blanket." She looked down, then back up with a big smile. "I was gonna do a sweater for Vision, but I decided against it. Natasha, yours next."

Natasha looked down at the long box in her lap, then ran her finger along the end of the paper and slid the box out. Inside was a knife, almost a foot long from end to end. The Russian smiled slightly as she pulled it from it's sheath. "Fallkniven A1 survival blade. 6.375 inch blade, 11 inches because it's full tang. Beautiful, perfectly balanced... this is amazing. Thank you."

"You don't already have one, do you?"

Natasha shook her head. "No. I don't. Thank you."

"Clint." Clint's box was long and when he opened it, a shiny, purple leather quiver greeted him. "I mean, it's obviously not for Tactical work, but... I like it."

"She knows your favorite color? We were married for two years before I knew your dirty secret." Bobbi seemed offended.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a man liking purple. I just don't tell anyone because some people disagree with me about that."

"That might be my fault. His first suit was all purple and blue, with a big mask. I told him he looked like a big, gay circus freak," Natasha responded.

"Mostly right," Bobbi responded.

"Seriously?!" Clint glared at the gymnast and the ballerina, before leaning forward to kiss Cassie. "I love it. I'm gonna use it at the farm everyday."

Cassie smiled, a blush creeping across her cheeks. She cleared her throat and walked to the tree, grabbing another object that definitely looked like a picture frame, albeit much smaller than Tony's, and handing it to Wanda. Wanda smiled and pulled open the wrapping paper. Her face dropped into a sad look as tears began to form in her eyes. Vision put a hand on her shoulder as she hugged the small canvass to her.

"Okay, knitting, I get, but when did you learn to paint?" Phil asked, deeply impressed by the detail in her painting of Pietro.

"I got the basic lessons from this little old lady in Hohenheims. She was painting a mural of the Nativity on the wall of Father Nathan's office and I just watched and learned for a while. I work on it when I have time."

"How do you have so much time? You work sixty hours a week at the lab and you go to school. When are you painting and knitting and making mosaics of Tony?" Steve asked, crossing the living room and picking up the painting to examine it as Wanda set it on the couch and hugged the artist.

Cassie smiled. "I make time for my family." She grabbed a small box and handed it across to Coulson, who shook it.

Phil pulled the wrapping off, revealing a small plastic box. He flipped the top off and gasped, "Are these-"

"Mint and vintage. The guy tried to sell me reproductions, but I could tell the difference. I've seen the real thing. I heard what Fury did to yours and I knew it must've broken your heart once you got back from TAHITI."

"These must've cost a fortune!" Phil whispered, flipping carefully through the cards.

"Well, after I caught the guy trying to cheat me, I pulled up some footage of Sokovia on my phone and showed him that I, you know, could put the hurting on him, he gave me a good deal." She smirked as she handed a box to Bobbi.

"Are you sure you wanna give me a present?"

"I'm sure. Go on."

Bobbi tore the package open and pulled out two batons and two bracelets. "Do these... go together?"

"Yeah. The, uh, the bracelets snap on and activate and that way, you can throw your batons and the magnetic pull between the bracelets and batons will bring them right back to your hands."

"That's amazing!" Bobbi exclaimed, testing out the balance of the batons. "These... if they can do what you say... when I get back in the field..."

"If," Coulson responded, still looking at his cards, mesmerized.

"It does! And you will get out in the field again. Okay, who's left? Steve! That box," she said pointing to a big box next to the tree.

He leaned down and ripped open the box, pulling out a stack of albums. "'Music Through the Decades'."

"Starts on the ‘50s and goes on through now. I also added a few albums that I really like. Green Day is real good and Nirvana."

"If there's not any Sabbath in there, then what's the point?"

Cassie smirked at Tony. "No 'Iron Man' but I'm pretty sure 'Crazy Train' is on one of those vinyls."

"This is great, Cassie. Thank you. And thank you for... picking vinyls."

"Of course. They're coming back into vogue, so it's easier to find them."

"Everything old is new again," Clint mumbled.

Cassie giggled before turning to Thor. "I'm still working on yours. It was a tall order and I thought I could get it done before now but I... just haven't had time. I'm working on a communication device that will work between Midgard and Asgard, so you can call Jane or we could call you. Not everyone on the team has Heimdall and Huginn watching them."

"A tall order? I assume this means a difficult thing and yes, that would be a 'tall order'. Even Asgard doesn't have such a device."

"If anyone can do it-" Clint started.

"I can. But if I don't care to try, Cassie's got you," Tony said, taking a drink of his nog.

"I'll figure it out. Promise."

"Wow. She's an amazing gift-giver," Daisy mused, taking one of Bobby's batons and tossing it in the air.

"Yeah. Now it's her turn. Grab a gift." Natasha pointed at the tree.

"Allow me." Thor volunteered, grabbing the poorly-wrapped pole as Sif handed her a pair of gloves.

Cassie looked between the Asgardians in confusion. "I need gloves to open my present?" she asked. They just nodded, smiling, as the SHIELD agents looked up, nervously. She pulled the gloves on and looked down.

"That's not..." Phil set down the cards and stood, looking to Thor as he handed the pole to Cassie.

Cassie ripped the paper down and gasped as she was met with a bright silver staff, etched with Asgardian runes. "Oh, my. This is beautiful."

"That's a Berserker Staff. Nobody touch it," Daisy warned.

"Are you sure that's a good gift for-" Phil started, looking worried.

"She is mighty. She can handle the Berserk." Sif answered.

"Okay, somebody explain this one to me. Berserker Staff?"

"Cass, it's, uh, an Asgardian weapon. It gives you a massive dose of adrenaline and then, it pulls on all of your worst memories to give you a rage like you've never felt before. It's supposed to be really good in battle, but you can ask May... it's pretty horrible."

"She is mighty, son of Coul. She pulled herself from the dream this witch created when even Thor could not. If there were ever a mortal strong enough to handle the Berserker staff, it is she," Sif responded.

Cassie looked down at the staff on her lap in wonder. "Horrible but really good in battle. It's the Hulk of alien weaponry. Thank you, Thor, so much. I know this must be a huge deal, to give a Midgardian one of these."

Thor smiled his bright white smile again. "You are not just a Midgardian. You are my sister. It is no huge deal, Lady Cassie."

"I don't know if she can handle-" Bobbi started.

"On the May-to-Ward scale of handling shit, where would you place her, Coulson?" Daisy asked.

"Well, I... think that's a question for Barton. 'Cause she didn't really have any rage when I was with her, so I don't know how she deals with it."

Cassie stood as Clint opened his mouth to answer. "How about that's a question for me. I deal with my considerable rage just fine. I became a superhero with it. I don't dwell on it, but I use it, every time I fight. If that's what this thing does, then good. And don't ask my ex-boyfriend if I can handle something, Daisy." She set the staff against the wall and smiled at Clint. "Your turn, babe."

Clint grabbed a box from under the tree and a Christmas card from the mantel over the fireplace. "Box is from me; card is from Katie."

"Ooh, the other Hawkeye sent me a gift? She's never even met me."

"She insisted."

"When do I get to meet Miss Bishop?" Cassie asked, opening the card.

"Uh... sometime when Bobbi and Nat aren't around. Too many of my important women in one place... three of you makes me nervous, four would kill me."

"'I know how stressful working with Barton can be, I can only imagine how dating him must kill. De-stress on me. Merry Christmas.' Holy shit. This is a wristband for Aphrodite Day Spa. This is the most amazing spa in central Washington. It's several thousand dollars for an all-inclusive wristband. I feel bad, now. I didn't get anything for her."

"Don't worry. I've told you her daddy is rich, right? What do you get the hero who has everything?"

"Wow." She set the card down and opened the box. "Oh, my. Is this a real Henkel?"

"Euroline. That's the one you wanted, right?" Clint asked.

"I... barely mentioned that I liked it. This is... awesome."

"He got you a kitchen knife? Lame," Tony muttered.

"A ZWILLING J.A. Henkel chef knife. This is, like, the filet minon of chef's knives." She defended. "Thank you, Clint. You are amazing."

"I think we should probably go next. 'Worst for last' is not the way, you know?" Wanda said, grabbing Vision's hand and each grabbing their gifts. Cassie smiled and opened the box Wanda handed over. "I know you spent a bit of time in Austria. Thought you might want to have a bit of Europe to eat."

"Hey! Mozartkugel!"

"What the hell is Mozartkugel?" Tony asked.

"It's pistachio marzipan and nougat covered in dark chocolate. It's amazing. Helga got me addicted before I could even pronounce 'Mozartkugel'. Thank you! How'd you know?" Wanda looked down, sheepishly. "You took it from my head. That's okay. Thank you."

Vision handed her a small box, which she quickly opened, pulling out a small ceramic Santa figurine. "Aww. It's cute! Thank you, Vision." He nodded at her.

"In the vein of 'let us not leave worst for last', me next," Pepper said, pushing a card into her hands. "It's just a gift card."

"To... Sephora? High-end make up. You rock, Pepper. I was just telling Clint that I need to learn how to do my makeup."

"And I was telling her she doesn't need it."

"Well, that's a thing Barton does well," Bobbi said to Natasha, who just nodded.

Cassie smiled at Barton and thanked Pepper. Steve looked sheepishly at the group. "I, uh, feel pretty horrible about my gift. All these great gifts and... I went practical with mine."

"An umbrella is very practical," Vision said, causing everyone to cast their eyes down.

"An umbrella. For Seattle. I get it. Cute, practical. Just like you, Steve," Cassie said, with a big smile.

"All right. My turn," Tony said, handing her a large jewelry box. "It was my mother's."

Cassie was breathless as she looked down at an Art Deco necklace with an opal and two large diamonds set into a platinum pendant. "Tony... you can't... I can't."

"Pepper doesn't do opal," Tony said, pulling the necklace from the box and holding it up to her neck. "It's gonna look great on you."

"But this was your mom's."

"My mom would have loved you. She was a strong woman, too, you know. Had to be, to put up with my father's bull. Look, I'm not wearing it and I've got two important women in my life and one of them doesn't do opal."

"He really wants you to have it," Pepper whispered, encouragingly.

"But, this is..."

"You always argue when I try to give you stuff. You should know it's futile, by now," Tony said, clasping the necklace together behind her neck and stepping back to marvel at how it looked on her. "Yup. I was right. Hangs just right."

"Here," Natasha said, pulling a bow out from behind the couch and handing it to Cassie. "It's a compound, not a longbow, but compounds are easier to learn on. Or so the guy at the shop told me."

"Wow, thanks so much." Cassie looked around and smiled. "Well, if that's everything, turkey should be-"

"That's not everything. Coulson brought something," Fitz said, walking out of the room.

Phil nodded and walked away, grabbing Cassie's hand and pulling her out of her house and into her front yard. "So, I remember how much you liked LOLA and how much you enjoyed that motorcycle run we did from Malibu to San Fran, so I had Mack and Fitz put together this..." He opened up the back of the black van they'd arrived in, revealing a Harley Sportster. "It's an '03 XL 1200. Still got the endorsement on your license?"

"You... motorcycle?" She was dumbfounded.

"Not just a motorcycle. You think he'd have us work on a regular motorcycle?" Fitz asked as Coulson rolled the bike out of the van. "Well, Mack, maybe, but not me."

"Fitz is the guy who made our stealth tech work," Coulson said, proudly. "And he made quick work of the science that makes LOLA hover. Meet HARLEE. Hover Aircraft Requiring a Little Extra Effort."

"That's a horrible name," Clint commented.

"It's better than his first idea. Wanted me to figure out a way to make the acronym PHIL," Fitz responded.

"Oh, like LOLA was named after his first love," Daisy said with smile.

"This is amazing, Fitz. Did you do the whole thing?"

"Well, Mack did a lot of the work on the... the normal motorcycle parts, but the... additional bits were all me," Fitz replied, leaning down to examine his work on the HARLEE.

"This is amazing," Cassie repeated, hugging the Scotsman, who stiffened. "Thank you, Fitz."

"Thank him? Where's my thanks?" Coulson asked.

"How much help did you give the poor overworked Leopold Fitz?" Cassie asked, releasing the man and turning to the SHIELD director.

Coulson lifted his prosthetic hand. "I couldn't help much with this."

"Oh, has he been using that as an excuse since Mack cut it off?" Natasha asked.

Bobbi, Daisy and Fitz all nodded. Cassie laughed. "Thank you for thinking of it, Phil. I love it! Now, let's get inside, it's freezing out here. Let's go eat some turkey!"

Steve smirked. "I'm fine in the cold. Mind if I stay back, appreciate your present?"

"All right, but don't go becoming a Cap-cicle again." Cassie smirked as she ushered everyone else into the house.

Steve grabbed Clint's arm and pulled him away from the door, close to the Harley and forced him to bend to look at the bike. "She's not sleeping."

"Yeah? How'd I sneak a large 3-cheese past her at 2 am, then?"

"There's no way she had time to do everything and still get sleep, Clint. She was either exhausted from her insomnia, or she took something to make herself sleep."

"Drugs?"

"Lorazepam. That's what Banner gave her when she came back from Austria."

Clint pulled back, standing. "How do you know that?"

"Because I was worried." Steve stood, too. "When she came back from Austria, she should've been rested. Happy. But she wasn't. She was exhausted, I could see it when you walked in, so I went to Banner after you and Natasha debriefed me and she was passed out in his lab. Bruce told me that he'd given her anxiety meds that let her sleep. He told me that she'd been having nightmares, terrors that persisted until she saw Dr. Garner."

"So, what, you think she's dreaming of Loki again?"

"I don't think she was dreaming of Loki before, Clint. What did she learn from that first session with Doc Garner?"

"That she wasn't evil like she thought."

"And the nightmares stopped. It wasn't Loki that caused her insomnia in Austria. Heck, she dealt with a Loki dream in enough time to pick me up and carry me off that ship in Africa. So, what could possibly be causing her insomnia now?"

Clint looked down, thinking of the plane ride to Sokovia. Wanda had gotten her to admit that she was afraid of whatever pieces of her were leaking. If anything was keeping her awake at night, that would be it. "She's fine, Cap. Don't worry about her," he lied as he turned away.

Steve watched as Clint walked into the house. "Fine. I'll talk to her about it."

As he walked into the dining room, Cassie held up a postcard. "So, I got this a few days ago, wanted to share it with you. Postcard, no return address, it looks like it's just blank, but... run a black light over it... Bam! QR code." She pulled her phone out and scanned the invisible code. "When scanned, it brings us to a far corner of the Dark Web housing just one video."

"Merry Christmas, guys," a familiar voice called out from her cell. "From scenic all-points nowhere. As you can see, but not enough to determine my location, I'm back doing what I should always be doing. I'm helping people, I'm not hurting anyone. I haven't had an incident since Sokovia and I'm gonna keep it that way."

Cassie paused the video as Steve sat down in the empty seat next to Natasha. "Despite the next part... I've analyzed it, of course, but I'm sure some of you will want to try it yourself."

"Please, stop looking for me. I can't be an Avenger, anymore. I can't come back because then I'd have to be Him and... I can't lose control again. Please, let me be. Merry Christmas, Avengers, and have a great New Year."

Natasha reached across Clint and snatched the card away from Cassie. "Did you analyze the paper stock?"

"I wanted to leave something for you to do, Natasha. Merry Christmas," Cassie said, walking away from the table to the kitchen. She returned with the turkey platter on one arm and the ham platter on the other. Steve stood and followed her into the kitchen as she grabbed the dishes carrying the sides. He stacked what was left onto his arms and carried them to the table behind her. "Thank you, Steve. Such a gentleman."

She walked to the head of the table and smiled at everyone. "I really wanna thank you guys for coming. You know, this is first Christmas... for a couple of us, and I..." She cleared her throat as tears started to sting her eyes. "I am so blessed to have you all. I've never had a family. Phil was the closest thing... And now, I have a... feast full of people who wanted to spend the holiday with me. I finally have people to share my life with and I could not be happier."

Clint reached out and took her hand in his, stroking his thumb across the back of it, reassuringly. "Anyway, thanks. Um, let's eat," she said, picking up a carving knife and a fork and leaning forward to cut into the ham.

"What, no Grace?" Tony smirked.

"Religious dinner shall be had at a later date." As she sliced into the meat, a flash of memory hit her. A man tied to a chair as a knife sliced through his thigh. His eyes clenched tightly in pain as he ground out 'Patrick Mackenzie, SHIELD level 5'. Cassie dropped the fork to the platter, her fingers tightening around the knife handle.

"You okay?" several guests chorused.

She blinked and cleared her throat. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just emotional. Somebody wanna- Wanda, stay out of my head," she instructed as she set the knife down and slipped away from the table.

Phil took over cutting the ham and Clint pulled the turkey into arm's reach, as Steve excused himself and followed the hostess. He knocked, lightly, at the bathroom door. "Hey. You all right?"

"I'm fine," she croaked.

"You're crying." It was a guess, but not a particularly hard one.

"Well, it's an emotional day."

"Are you sure it's that? Are you sure this isn't more of whatever's keeping you up at night?"

"You know, I told Wanda to stay out of my head, I figured it went without saying for the rest of you."

"Come on, Cassie. Talk to me." The lock clicked and Steve pushed in, locking it back behind him. She was sitting on the sink, eyes already red and puffy. "What's wrong?"

"Me. I'm wrong." Steve stood silently and waited for her confession. "I... I'm remembering."

"And that's not a good thing?"

She shook her head. "I'm remembering Hydra. I'm remembering being Vierhundert Zweiundfünfzig. I'm remembering who I was with them. I think I hurt people, Steve, maybe even killed."

Steve placed his hand firmly on her shoulder. "Cassie, it's-"

"Don't patronize me, Steve. Don't tell me it's okay because it's not okay," she snapped.

"It's not okay. But mostly, it's not okay because of how it's affecting you." Steve reached his free hand into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, sweeping it across her cheeks. "Whatever you did when Hydra had you, that wasn't you."

"You don't understand. If... if I remember that, if I remember who I was... doesn't that make me her?"

Steve sighed, pulling her down from the sink. "I think that's a question for Doctor Garner. Have you talked to him about this?"

She shook her head. "He was on vacation and... he hasn't answered my calls since he got back. He's busy helping Phil with the whole... Inhumans thing."

"And Fury? He must know who you were when he grabbed you from Hydra. Did you try him?"

"He told me not to ask. Said I wouldn't like the answers."

"Nick's never been big on questions. Look." Steve pressed the handkerchief into her palm. "You have people, you know. What you were saying about having family... you should talk to them. If there is a group of people who knows how to deal with... bad pasts and fuzzy memories, it's us. You aren't wrong. You're perfect the way you are."

Cassie nodded and smiled, slightly. "Thanks. Let's go eat."

***********************************

As they watched everyone get into their cars, Cassie leaned her head on Clint's shoulder. She could tell by his protective and comforting stance that he knew something was wrong, but he wouldn't ask. He was great that way. "Merry Christmas, Cassie."

"Merry Christmas, Clint. You gonna stay for a couple days?"

"Of course. Long as you want me here."

"I love you. Wanna go in and call Laura, see if Barney ever showed?"

"Yeah. Come on." Clint turned and pushed her through the door.

KITCHEN SINK TAGS @heyitscam99 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mrs-meghan-winchester @henrymorganme @lonely-skys @allykat2108

#cassie writes stuff #avengers fanfiction #red queen chronicles #clint/ofc #ofc #christmas fic

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totaldilfiam · 6 years

Text

If John Lennon survived (pt.2/?)

Okay, just like to say thanks to those of you who read the last chapter yesterday. The updating schedule should be every weekday (no weekends) unless I’ve notified you guys otherwise. So, please enjoy this new chapter. Btw, all chapters are in Paul’s perspective unless I say otherwise. If you ever want to find this story on its own rather than digging endlessly through posts, just search “IF JOHN LENNON HAD LIVED” on my page

“I’m telling you George these recording sessions are going great. Why don’t you come join us. We’ll record some of your songs too, if you like.” I had been talking, well more like begging George to join us in the recording studio.

“Well, Paul, how do I put this? You’re my friend. A very close one at that, but business wise, you’re rather pushy,” I don’t know why, but these words made my stomach crash into my heart.

“Oh, I guess I was pretty bad. But that was then, y’know?” I waited, longing for the long, awkward silence to end.

“Ringo’ll be there too, right?”

“Yep!” Yes, I think I have him now.

“I’ll see you there next week. I’ll get more details from Ringo, but so much as two corrections towards my guitar playing, then I’ll...” What was he going to do?

“I’ll storm out faster than you can say hey Jude,” and just like that I heard a click and the dead buzz of the phone. My head perked up when I heard John come in. He had gone to visit Yoko’s lawyer over some copyright bull crap.

�� “Paulie, darling, I’ve got some great news! Because of there being no evidence that Yoko helped write my songs, we get seventy percent of the proceeds from them, and we have total control over what could be done with them!” God, he sounded happy. I loved it when he was happy.

“That’s great darling. George will be joining us next week for our recording.”

“Mmm, that’ll be good. I was thinking we could both cover ‘Watching the Wheels’ because, well, uh, we’re like that. We are living in that song,” I almost teared up from this. Since John had divorced Yoko in 1981, exactly a year after the- well, you know, his “injury”, they’d been fighting over the rights to songs, and John finally won.

“We should celebrate,” the words whisped out of my mouth as if I were scared. I knew what John’s idea of fun was. I had the same sense of fun too.

“Yeah Macca, what do you think we should do?”

“Well John, you kn-”

“I was thinking we could go out to eat, how bout you Paul?” was this a joke. Well, it was his battle, so it’d be nice to just go with it.

“Oh, uh, yeah, that sounds perfect, lu-,” John suddenly got closer to me and lightly placed his soft lips on mine. The kiss got more and more passionate until it got aggressive. He pushed me up against the edge of the table before suddenly stopping.

“You know that whole going out to eat thing was a joke, right?” I just nodded before John leaned in and whispered lightly in my ear, “Now, that table doesn’t look to comfortable against your leg. How about we take this to the bedroom...” He attached his lips to mine once more and without letting we stumbled into our bedroom like a pair of gay drunken sailors.

Soon the kiss turned into a competition for dominance, which John stubbornly won as always. As he kissed me deeply he dug his hands through my hair, and I dug mine into his back. He soon reached his hands down to my hips, grabbing and pulling as we went along. With much ease I soon ended up on my back with him straddling over me- that was until our doorbell rang, about four times with only five seconds in between to be precise.

“Crap, it’s Sean,” John whispered in my ear as he froze over me in his bent frame. We had totally forgotten that Sean - John’s son with Yoko - would be staying with us during his trip here in London.

We both ran down the steps as fast we could before Sean would press that damned bell again. W both fumbled with the doorknob trying to decide who would open it. I decided to be the bigger man and just let John do it. It was his son, after all. He opened the door and caught Sean in the middle of his seventh time pressing the doorbell. I never thought a twenty-four year old man would manage to press a button that much.

“Hi there, Sean,” I yelped rather oddly. He awkwardly walked in to our house, suitcase still in hand. After I took his bag he gave his father a big hug and whispered some thing in his ear. John just looked at him gently and smiled. God, I wish I knew what he said.

“Sorry,” Sean’s voice was a little high pitched with that same raspiness his father spoke with, “the doorbell was just kinda cool y’know... With the lights and everything.” He was kind of cute, in the sense of a curious child. I though of laughing at the remark, but I didn’t. Our doorbell was cool. It lit up green all the time, but when you pressed it it pulsed blue for about four seconds. Oh, that’s why he pressed it every five seconds.

“Here, let me take your coat Sean. Sit,” John and Sean must be very close. Didn’t seem that way. He hardly talked about him unless it was after one of their famous thirty minute calls.

“Uhh,” I felt compelled to mention something, anything, “Would you like a cupa?”

“A cup of what?” he just stared at me blankly.

“Oh,” I suddenly realized that they probably don’t say things like cuppa in America, “I meant a cup of tea.” He just laughed and we joined in.

The rest of the night was warm and filled with old stories and laughter. The dinner was good. John cooked bread and I just made a big salad. I loved this. I wished I could raise a family with John. Maybe we’d adopt... Oh, but we were old, and I already had six kids, including John’s to, to, well, I guess they’re adults now. All we have to do is comfort and give them good advice.

“Hey, Macca, you alright? You’ve been in this trance all night,” It was only then I’d realized that I was lying in bed next to John.

“Is it Sean? I know, he’s an odd kid, but that’s just him. He’s creative, not odd. Paul, is it me?”

“No John, not in a thousand years. Sean’s fine, I think he’s perfect. I was thinking...”

“What? What, is it? Tell me Paul,” God, he was like a puppy when curiosity got the best of him.

“John, what do you think about adopting a kid? I’d love to raise one with you.”

#if john lennon had lived #paul mccartney #John Lennon #John Paul George and Ringo #mclennon

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dualfox · 6 years

Note

What's been happening? How's life?

A lot! Or at least it feels like a lot. I finally got more hours at work. Still need to get a full time job though. I have been attending driving school for 6 weeks and passed. And now I have one more drive and still need lots of practice before I can even take the tests for getting my liscense. I STILL make wide turns Driving with a parent is stressful...and she just got a new car. So this should be interesting... 😅 Also dealing with responsibilities at home and bleh...Oh and today me and my brother are going to celebrate a late Mother's Day. Since my mom and I were busy with work that day.I was really amused (cracking up) at how many people reacted to the comment I left on the last post. So I'll go into some detail about that. 1. Because it's highly amusing imo 2. He's not like anyone I've ever met (I'll give an example why) 😆 3. It's part of the happenings currentlySo he has made this pic of himself (reminds me of a fuckboy pic) as his profile pic. And this was last year. He took a selfie in the bathroom mirror kinda showing off. But being more shy and looking down with a small smile. Also he was dating his gf at that time. All the pics from that point on felt off (didn't know about his relationship till a year later. It's just those pictures of him and her (I don't assume) or just him or anything felt really off and so I unfollowed him. So that I wouldn't see anything anymore in my newsfeed about him. Since I don't actively go looking through profiles. Since that's just creepy. Plus he gets tagged a lot by his mother and then that gf). Despite running into him a lot since ya know...fate or something or what have you. I really had NO idea about the relationship. I just KNEW something wasn't right. Felt wrong. And I could tell by his odd behavior. Yeah...we don't really talk to each other btw. Too awkward for him and I kinda gave up. Yeah...about that found out he was forced into that relationship by possibly his mother. Which explains EVERYTHING. He has the relationship hidden. You'd have to search for it to find it. No pics of her are as featured. Only him and his family. Kinda tells you WHO is important in his life. Doesn't it?? And his mother left a comment on a picture of them. Where he's posing with her for a selfie. And guys! He looked like such a stranger even felt like one from that one pic (which she made her profile pic). And no his profile pic is still JUST him. Her comment was pretty disturbing. It basically sounds like she's surprised that his gf can "handle" him. Almost as if she's afraid of her own son...wtf What even... Before I even knew about them dating. He suddenly became sooo desperate to get my attention. Would honk at me. Slow down when he saw me. Would get his buddies to spy on me at my work. And he would show up and just stare into my eyes as he walked past. Anytime he's in the store he wears a cap! And only at my work. Like he thinks it's a disguise! And I'll see him outside the store without it. He'd honk, wave anytime he saw me even act like he'll run me over when he see me....and then quickly turn and speed off. Who even does that?? I mind my own business. And without talking to anyone. I find out things about him lately. I overheard a conversation on the bus just a day ago even! Some dude was talking with some other guy. About a relationship saying that the guy or the girl told the other that they need to "take a break" and he think it eludes to them breaking up. Well I thought it rude of me to just listen in. So I was about to listen to my music again. When I hear them mention about a girl that works in a certain department (it's a department exclusive to our store and I'm the only girl *cough*) And that the guy keeps staring at her and he doesn't understand why. Something about a "face expression" and "not being fooled." Well just the day before. Guess who did that? Yuppers. Then he mentions the gf by name. Look. I didn't know who she was. And then one day some girl came by my work a few times shooting me dirty looks each time with some random guy (not her bf)...ok...I stood my ground and kept an eye on her. Bad vibes...And guess who she was...his gf. I was floored! Don't know why she was so mad. He's the one showing up at my work. Not the other way around. And here she was acting like a couple with someone who's not her boyfriend....and each time a different dude....helloooo??? What the heck. My life isn't normal. Ok so the dude on the bus has basically made it known that he's a friend of his. And goes on a rant about this girl. He says "I can't believe this is the same girl that told me that she's soooo baaaddd because she pops pills." Oh my god...how is that "baaaddd." (What I've seen and heard about her...she seems very stuck up. And her bf seems to avoid her like the plague. Because I never see them together. Even in those pics. There's distance between them and just...nooo. She looks like she's showing off a prize. I don't know how to explain it. And where's the smile on his face??? Odd. Besides, he's always with his friends or by himself when I see him. Which is pretty frequent since...well life I guess). So the dude on the bus cusses about her calling her a "bitch" multiple times (they got scolded by the busdriver for their "bad language." It's a public bus). They were roasting her about her being short and something about height difference between two people. I don't know what she did...but people seem to really despise her for some reason...I looked at the dude talking before I got off at my stop. And...I recognized him. I've seen this guy walking with him in my store. The day he walked by and proceeded to stare intensely into my eyes as he walked past. Then went over to an aisle and talked with him. Before walking out doing the same thing with the staring. And I even had an associate ask me about the weird guy who walked by twice ans was staring smh Which by the way. Doesn't creep me out at all. We just understand each other somehow. As illogical as that is. It's just this knowing. Anyways, I'vee talked smack about his friends. Because they are very rebellious people. But...honestly. From what I've seen they really care about him. Also he now looks miserable when I see him with his family (specifically his mom). But absolutely free and just having a blast when he's with his friends... I mean here was this friend of his sharing his frustration with some random stranger on the bus. Because he was worried about his friend. Ok I know this is a long post. So I'll wrap this up. I saw him later that day yesterday. After I'd seen him sitting outside the store. And he looked like he was trying to hide. And then he was back hours later further away and when he turned and looked at me. I started cracking up and said "AGAAAIIINNN?"Well later in the evening. I end up going to the store near us with my family. I see a group of guys that work there talking to each other. Sorta watching me. But eh. And I notice there's someone that I can't really see. So I take a peek. And guess who? He looks absolutely overjoyed! The biggest smile on his face. And he's looking at me...??? While my brother and me are talking and my brother is being a goofball and I keep trying to get him to shush or stop. Weird day. I didn't know he still worked there.Yeah...that got pretty long. I don't know why I felt like I should share that.But there it is. I guess he's supposed to be in my life. I just want him to be happy. That's all I can ever wish for him. Ok. I'll add one more thing. He needs to stand up for himself and make his own choices. It's his life. And if someone disagrees. Then that doesn't matter. And same goes for all of you. Make your own decisions. Don't feel pressured or obligated to do or be someone that goes against who you are or what's in your heart. Thank you anon for your question! I hope my answer wasn't too boring or anything. Have a lovely day! 💜

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nanowrimo · 6 years

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Dear NaNo Diary... (Week Four and Beyond)

NaNo can be thrilling, challenging, frustrating, and revitalizing––sometimes all at once. This November, we’ve asked NaNo participants to share their daily thoughts in a new series, Dear NaNo Diary. Here are some entries from the last two weeks of NaNoWriMo:

November 21

Dear Nano Diary,

Just wanted to let you know that holiday vacations are PERFECT for catching up on lost words. I'm only five hours of good writing away from being back up to where I should be, and my story is finally cooperating again. I think at this rate I may actually finish today or tomorrow, and then I can skip off into the sunset and switch to that new project I was so excited to get started on. I know the past week has been rough for both of us, but thanks for making me stick to it. I don't think there's been a year yet where I've written this much, this well, and come so close to the actual end.

Optimistically yours,

Burlew

Dear NaNo Diary,

I've just realised that I'd rather write a fantasy novel than a "realistic" one. I was wondering why I couldn't be passionate about what I was writing, and I think it's maybe because I want to build a fantastic and better world that includes magic through my words. Well of course, as great as they can be, it would be too late now to just throw a dragon in my novel. I'll know what to try next, though. On another note, I'm starting to see all these pink "WINNER!" bars and it gives me a slight sense of panic. I'm catching up on my word-count, but I am slow, and I don't have much time. And most importantly, I don't really know where my story is going. I just killed off my main character's father just because I felt like it, and I thought it would add something interesting to the plot. Maybe it will. But poor him. Barely outlined and already dead.

Signed,

Hyléore

November 24

Dear NaNo Diary,

Dare I say it? I'm tired, but also way to stubborn to give up now that the end is only a week away. So I'll keep going, but my health is definitely being a pain in the behind (and wrists, ouch) the last week. And if I can muster the energy I'd like to go on a field trip tomorrow to a botanical garden - that's kind of a must when you're writing a story that heavily features plants, right? I can write in the train, and watch one of the amazing plants that only flowers once in its life and is now in bloom according to the garden's Facebook. I'll be walking in my MC's footsteps, so that should definitely give me that final burst of inspiration to finish this story.

Love,

Mossenmeisje

Dear NaNo Diary,

Look, we both know that writing every day is easier said than done. And I certainly have not done a great job of it. Things got pretty rough there in Week 2. I mean, this is NaNo--we all know that Week 2 is where novels go to die, and man, did it ever kick my butt! But I powered through with only minimal skipping of days (and, well, maximal hating-everything-I-wrote) and things got back on track. There will probably be lots of editing to be done in that little chunk, but let's be real, that's just how this novel-in-a-month thing goes… this isn't my first rodeo. I'm gonna write through this just like I wrote through the suck in Week 2, and I'm gonna win again, and then I'm gonna take a break before I dig in to editing this monstrosity, where I will hopefully find (as I usually do) that it really isn't as bad as I think. I'm a good writer. I can do this. I've done it before, and I'll do it again. Right. I've got 20 minutes before I have to take the dog to the vet. Better get back to writing.

Determinedly yours,

Jaina

Dear NaNo Diary,

Day 24 and I kinda wish I was done with you. But, alas, you aren't even halfway finished yet. Yeah, I'm almost done with the 50,000. Whatever. I haven't even made it to the midpoint of the story yet. I have the feeling I'm going to have to keep this same pace throughout December, and that's scaring me. I have so much to do. My physics grade is suffering, my music theory and math grades are beginning to drop. Next to go is psychology and English. And heaven forbid, drivers ed. I'm literally behind with drivers ed. NaNoWriMo, you are sucking the life out of me and I hate you.

But...without you, I probably would've already given up. Like, hardcore given up on myself. On life. You've kept me going, kept me living. So part of me is glad I'm not anywhere close to being done with you.

Until next time.

AllisonReneS

November 25

Dear NaNo Diary,

I was always the kind of writer that doubted myself. I never even imagined that I could ever declare myself a winner of this event, or that I would ever get close to writing 50K, ever. My novel just proved me wrong, because yesterday I hit 50,000 despite having struggled with illness, schoolwork, and about a thousand other things that got in the way of writing. I actually did it, and it's only thanks to this lovely community. My writing group has pushed me towards the finish line, and the people in the forums were always there to offer encouragement or to play with on the procrastination forums. The virtual write-ins gave me wind under my wings when I needed it, and the NaNo WordSprints motivated me to keep going.

NaNo has given me something I haven't had in a long time: a sense of accomplishment. Because I did something hard, but I actually did it. Now, this novel is still not done, but nothing says I have to stop now. For today, I'm going to let myself smile and catch up on everything I have neglected to get to this point. But that's okay. Because I just did something I thought was impossible, and nothing is going to bring me down.

Signed,

TheRavenclawWriter

Dear NaNoDiary,

Look, I can write about cannibalism today, or I can write about sex.

Not. Both.

Jessikanesis

Dear NaNo diary,

I am sad that this month is almost over. Today I have crossed the 40K mark, a thing I still thought impossible a week ago when I was struggling to get to 20K. My story has taken me unexpected places and characters have slipped from within me that I didn't know I was holding captive. Thank you for that. My writing experience has been a little lonely, today is probably the first time ever I wandered onto the forums, it'd be nice to have met some fellow writers along the way. I've read many ideas and plots around the forums and I have to say I am so impressed and humbled to be a part of such an endlessly creative and talented community. I guess I'd also like to thank myself, for not giving up despite travelling in between three continents at the beginning of this month and having real life deal me some busy distracting stuff as well. A part of me wishes this crazy journey and enthusiasm and frustration swapping with joy will follow me, and everyone else, further after November.

Congratulations to the finishers, strength to those who are still going, and love to all!!!

Elishadowy

Dear Nano Diary,

I've topped 1,600 new words today and I'm on schedule to reach 50,000 on the last day. Not the day before, the last day. There is no room for error or wasted time. I believe my writing limit in a month might be 50,000 words, no more. It would appear it is going to require 100 percent effort in order to accomplish this goal.

One of my professors in college once said "People say they gave it 100 percent effort, and yet they have not expended all of their energy when they are done. I contend," he says, "if one accomplishes a goal at 100 percent effort, then death would occur at the precise moment the goal was accomplished."

Here's hoping I can write 50,001 words in a month.

stellaloop

November 26

Dear NaNo Diary,

This is bad. My goal this year was between 50,000 and 65,000 words. Right now I need to write between 28,001 words and 43,001 words in the next 4 days to win. That is basically 5,601-10,750 words a day to finish on time. BUT despite it all I am weirdly feeling motivated and excited to finish?!?!?!? I think the extreme amounts of espresso I've consumed are getting to my head.

Signed,

Teen dreaming with her eyes open

November 27

Dear NaNo Diary,

Day 27 on this plane of existential reality. Having passed the last barrier of 40,000 words towards the final stretch, three days doesn't seem like long to achieve it. The experience has been perfect not only because I could monitor myself with an objective during those days, but I've proven I could do it, raising the bar of my own personal margin of daily writing. A plus to this experience has been the great quality of the new writers I've encountered on the forums and in groups. There's a lot of talent about to be discovered, as is the inner fire needed to write a story from beginning to end. It's a beautiful proposal you've created and I celebrate this worldwide festival of words, creativity, and language in all its dimensions.

Laura Pigatt [translated from Spanish]

November 28

Dear NaNo Diary,

I am so behind! If I'm being realistic with myself, there's no way I'm going to write 20,000 more words by the 30th. Despite that fact, I'm reeling really good. I've won a few times before, but this is the best I've felt about a manuscript...ever. I am excited to finish my first draft (which will be well over 50,000 words when it's done) after November is over. Even more, I've established a writing habit that's realistic. I feel like a winner!

Signed,

r0gue0fd00m

November 29

Dear Nano Diary,

We are so close to the end and it could not come sooner, writing this story has been fun (especially at the times I made it suck less) but finals are coming and I have far too much to do and far too little energy for it all.

Just about three thousand to go though... it would just be stupid not to finish at this point.

Onwards!

SortaDevon

This is the last Dear NaNo Diary post of this year’s NaNoWriMo! We didn’t have a post last week due to the holiday and some schedule conflicts, but you’re welcome to check out all the great, inspiring, touching, and hilarious entries on the official forums post. Thanks for reading!

Original top photo licensed under Creative Commons from Joel Montes de Oca on Flickr.

#nanowrimo #nano 2017 #dear nano diary #diary #journal #from nano users

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blondrichclosetwitch · 4 years

Text

So, they want me to write.

As in,

I was trying to clean, and they stopped the music.

I went

Outside to ask.

“Write.”

Okay then.

Where to start?

Maybe with the fact that a tree I passed 2 days ago is missing?

That’s happened before.

In fact, I dreamed about that tree. The one in bk that it happened to. I saw it happen before it happened.

Had a few

Prophetic dreams last nights actually. One about me telling my

Mom that a friendship of mine was over, one that I had for a long long time. The length of all of New York actually.

Yesterday morning a female companion of his posted a video of her looking into the camera pretending to be the snake in the garden of Eden.

At least that’s what her hashtag implied. Pretty girl. Turned me on to Rihanna. But she’s a social worker, busy selling cookies for the Girl Scouts. Were you even a Girl Scout? I was.

I was a cadette. Went to camp even.

I was at fire island with SnakeGirl once, with all their friends. When the salon

Master gave me some drugs that left me paralyzed.

So scared out

Mind that I wanted

To leave right there and then.

He did that a lot. Got me so high that I couldn’t function. So that i would tell him all

My thoughts.

48 hours after that time

On fire island, Jakk and I were broken up.

Jakk and I never ever talked about breaking up.

Ever.

He once said even if we stopped having sex, he would want to just talk. With me.

All the time.

SnakeGirl,

I would rethink your videos. And

Maybe talk

To your twin about your own demons.

Yes, she’s a twin. Funny isn’t it.

***********

This morning when I went

Outside, the front, back and side years were covered in broken trees. The yards on either side of our

House weren’t. Just ours. So much I can’t even tell you.

And there was that familiar blood-stained black fabric that keeps being left for me. Did you know sacrificing rabbits is a big thing for satanists? Because rabbits are a sign of Jesus being risen.

Right now we are celebrating Ishtar, the Goddess of Fertility.

********

The deacons are looking for that exorcist for me.

I never saw the exorcist, because I absolutely hate horror films. But I lived by the stairs once, in the city where I was sexually assaulted the most. I was 22.

I never imagined I would NEED an exorcist.

Sigh.

But I do.

**********************

So for what it’s worth, my

Coat no longer fits. Nor any of my pants. My

Pee is cloudy. I can’t wear a bra.

My stomach, well.....let’s

Just say I put my hands on it a lot. And my body is achy.

Like it‘s changing.

I’m

No expert.

But

My body is definitely different. Which is interesting,

Because I really haven’t had the money to eat for the last 2 months.

Things are not always black and white.

I *am* wearing grey sweatpants.

**********

There was a chef-ess that I once wrote a post on insta about.

I had a vision about her and Jakk. Except it wasn’t her. I just

Put her there.

I was once told there was a dark-haired woman blocking

From Jakk, and I thought it was her. Her eyes are like mine, though she is very thin. I thought arcade fire’s “flashbulb eyes” was about her.

I was jealous, because when I saw Jakk in july 2017, he was not himself, and when I asked about anyone else, he kinda didn’t look me

In the eyes. That ate me alive for a long time.

Chefgirl, thanks for posting last chance

Top

Chef. I needed a break from my mind.

Watch out

For my boy.

Please.

I don’t know when I’ll get to see him.

The devil tried to trick me

Into going and

Finding him yesterday, but apparently the shock would have possibly landed me

In the hospital. So, I’m asking you to be the feminine energy he needs right now.

And please forgive that slightly cutting, yet well-written post.

(Oh btw, I’ve been blocked from jakk’s insta.

Isn’t that interesting. )

Hey chefs, how’s

It going? Keeping the vigil going? I was told you had a vigil. Oh wait. There’s a pandemic.

Should I make you a list of all the lies I’ve been

Told? Because I was told Jakk is dead. Is that true?

Apparently every time I have a thought, my

Brain manipulates it to, immediately following, become a voice in my head that asks me a negative question or command.

And guess who did that.

Salon Master.

Since we won’t be speaking until court, allow me to say, you

Have a beautiful exterior. And we both had moon opposition pluto.

But it’s

Like steel said, when I sent him your

Info to do an astrological reading.

You know. The one I bought for you to solidify our friendship.

He said your last name came

Across as “wayanoffsky”.

He also said my

Manifesto was being rewritten.

Due to sorcery.

And here I thought

It was the manifesto in my

Play.

Were you the reason I lost

Memory when my play was on stage? Spirits are saying yes.

********************

I was told that you had already killed yourself. With poison,

Of course.

“Must go out with style!”

I was also told that you wrote me a very long letter. Explaining that I was your greatest art

Project-slash- psychological experiment ever.

I keep hearing that you are proud

Of me.

It’s hard because I truly loved you as my male ally. So part of me feels flattered...but then I remember that you

Probably Tried

To kill me.

So S&M, This is goodbye. You were the friendship I was mourning to

Mother in my sleep. And I will mourn you,

Probably for a while.

That’s what humans with real

Emotions

Do.

But

Let it be said: You should not be a psychoanalyst. And you probably won’t be,

For very long.

But even if you aren’t caught, The Lacanians will know that one of the greatest mindfucks in history came

From one of their own.

“I'm laughing as I'm taking my prisoners

And taking down names”

#nusch knows #the salon master #who has checked on jakk?#stuff steel says #astrology #moon opposition pluto #lana del rey #s&m #lacan #chef life #chefgirl #top chef #ishtar #easter bunny #in my feelings #sorcery #manifesto #chronic city #snake girl

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andrewuttaro · 4 years

Text

New Look Sabres: GM 37 - LA Kings

3-2 Win

There is a two-fold pretext going into this game. The first one was plain and clear Thursday night in Philadelphia: this team is nothing without Jack Eichel. This team with Eichel is a fringe playoff team as we’ve seen this month. This team without Eichel is a team that would struggle to stay out of a relegation zone. It sounds harsh but yet another massacre in Philadelphia, it seems like every other time we go down there is one waiting for us, proves we need at least some kind of upgrade to make this team more than just the Buffalo Jack Eichels. The other piece of pretext to this game was the meaningfulness of the points in the standings. It’s funny to think of any game in December as providing critical points. Big games exist when they have significance with a broad set of fanbases or in the standings. The relative bigness of this particular game against the LA Kings isn’t really about the Kings. They suck ass again. In a league where many tell you not to even look at the standings until after the New Year the Sabres have been in a playoff spot for… weeks? Entering this game the Sabres had dropped three straight after a decent stretch since Thanksgiving where they most recently won three straight against better competition. Over the weekend they claimed an overtime point against the Islanders but got no points on Tuesday against division rival Toronto before getting clobbered in Philadelphia on Thursday. It was so bad I didn’t even waste breath on postgame. The Maple Leafs are one of four teams who are neck and neck with Buffalo. The Sabres were second in an exceptionally weak Atlantic Division at 39 points Thursday. Montreal, Tampa Bay, Toronto and Florida were all at 38 or 37 points. And so you see now how two points against the Flyers would have meant a lot even though the halfway point of the season is still five games away. Those points never came and now all of the aforementioned teams excluding Tampa have passed Buffalo and we’re out of a playoff spot we somehow held onto for a few weeks. No NHL game is easy but now would be a really good time to get a safe win against the Kings.

For the first half of this game there was a lot to be frustrated about. Luckily most of Buffalo was transfixed on the 4:30 Bills game so there was likely only a half-full arena and a handful of us online angry guys to feel that way about it. For the first period and a half this was a shot-for-shot duel with the LA Kings. 5 years ago we might have celebrated that, but these aren’t 2014’s LA Kings. The latent, trash Kings got the lion share of the nice shots on goal in the first period where they outshot Buffalo 10-6. Linus Ullmark stood tall making some pretty grandiose saves, most of which you probably wanted the defense to prevent. After the massacre in Philadelphia its hard to imagine Carter Hutton getting a start not on a back-to-back. Ullmark is THE GUY now and he’s acting like it. One stop I swore was superhuman where the puck was turned over in the Sabres zone in the midst of quite some traffic. I don’t know how he recognized the turnover mistake of his own team for one and secondly I don’t know how he estimated the trajectory of the backhander so quickly as to snap it up like that. Anyway the first period ended with donuts on the board. The second period began with what they had coming. The Kings continued their shot domination for the first half of the middle frame and Adrian Kempe took advantage of Marco Scandella taking a slapshot from the slot and beat Ullmark. For how much better the basement-dwelling Kings played in the first half of this game it could’ve been 3-0 had it not been for Linus Ullmark’s great game. I really do think the team plays better in front of him and this game compared to last game is going to be exhibit A.

The game continued as a Kings shooting gallery until the Sabres really began intercepting pucks and pushing back toward the midpoint of the game. Jack Eichel got a really great chance right in front of Jonathan Quick that just would not go. This game was still one of those where a stray skate could’ve been the difference of the Kings extending their lead. That Vesey line was taking their turn in front of the LA net when a rebound squirted out to Rasmus Ristolainen who buried it before Quick even knew where it was, 1-1. I’ve been informed Quick has not been good at all this season. I hate to see a good American goaltender down like that but it kinda makes sense when you think of how much the Kings dynasty was built on a defense they no longer have. I mean Drew Doughty is still there but if one all-world defenseman made a defense then Rasmus Dahlin should’ve backstopped us to a Cup run last season. For all the bitching and moaning about this game showing we’re not any better than some of the worst teams in the league Jack Eichel didn’t score a goal. None of the players who made October so fun really contributed until the dying minutes of this game. Yesterday afternoon we got the “Black Stallion” Marco Scandella to score a goal. That nickname was the imagination of Dan Dunleavy calling the game and I think I join a choir of folks absolutely detesting it. Call him what you will I guess as long as we can call him gone in July. Scandella received a pretty innocuous pass at the point from Sam Reinhart and put one on net. It went in and the home team had their first lead of the game with a little over three minutes left in the second period. The Kings tried to respond before the middle frame concluded. That sweet Linus Ullmark save I described earlier was a save on Anze Kopitar with mere moments left on the clock. Through forty minutes it was 2-1 Buffalo though.

The Sabres got some decisive powerplays in the third period; none of them increased their lead because this is the Buffalo Sabres we’re talking about, but they got them! They really did get some dingers off the posts and what have you too. It got a little frustrating. Almost as frustrating as this situation with Eichel is. You may wonder: what issue could you have with Eichel after you basically said this team relies entirely on him in the opening? Well you may have heard he missed the bloodbath of a game in Philadelphia. The thing is he took warmups before being announced as out for the game. Speculation circulated about the flu or an accident nobody saw occur on the ice during those warmups. The most detail we got was a lower body injury which was later retracted. Eichel came back like his normal self in this game so I got to believe it was just the shits arriving right after warmups ended. No matter what it was the NHL counted it as the end of his point streak… or did they? The chances tended toward Buffalo as the third period went on and the Captain almost got a couple saucy ones himself. Eventually the Kings pulled Quick for the extra attacker and Eichel got the puck to Reinhart who got it to Victor Olofsson who chipped in an empty-netter. The game broadcast and several social media posts thereafter referred to Eichel continuing his “personal point streak” which is not only something I’ve never heard before its also something that is quantifiably stupid. Then again other posts left the word personal out and said he’s now on an 18-game point streak. I don’t know if we really need to litigate this but that streak was all some of us Sabres fans had back when the going was tough in November so there is certainly a desire to see it continue.

Ithaca, NY’s own Dustin Brown tipped in a quick goal to pull the Kings within one in the last minute of play but ultimately the goal only served to make a few people down in Tompkins county that much happier and this game ended 3-2 Sabres. For a brief few hours while Buffalo was busy cheering the Bills to almost beating the Patriots in Foxboro, the Sabres were back in a playoff spot at second in the division. That Flyers game might prove to cost the Sabres more than just their Thursday night because the Leafs won last night as well and took over that divisional spot. Buffalo is only one point back and could leapfrog both Florida and Toronto Monday night, but both those clubs also play tomorrow night, and everyone wants to go into the Christmas break on a high note. I’d put my money on the Sabres not sitting in a playoff spot come Christmas morning, but I want to hear what you think so like, share and comment on this blog to let me know what you think.

The aforementioned Christmas break also coincides with a roster freeze that is already in effect meaning no moves for Jason Botterill… as if one were imminent. I think the need for a trade for a forward is a near unanimous opinion of the fanbase right now. However I will be a dissenting voice on the guy at the center of the Sabres last big top-six trade Jeff Skinner. The talk of him being upset not playing with Eichel on the top line is the kinda Coach-blaming knee jerk reaction that is so normal for us. It shouldn’t be. We’re trained to chase coaches out of town at this point and I really don’t think we have to right now. Yes, yesterday was another weird defenseman-playing-forward rotation and I too don’t like scratching Colin Miller out of any games but Ralph Krueger’s benefits to this club far outweigh his detriments right now. A lot of it is stuff we only see in streaks here and there, the not-so-sexy stuff like team cohesion and overall competitiveness when playing without the puck. Those are little things that make visible a behind-the-scenes reality of a Coach really revolutionizing this team. By all means take issue with the trash first half of this game and the poor play we still see too often from the Sabres, but don’t look for ways to blame it on the Coach. Midseason thoughts will go up in a couple weeks which will allow plenty of time and space for deeper conversations about the state of this team. For now let’s go wrap up the pre-Christmas schedule in Ottawa tomorrow. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. December so far is shaping up to be the streaky month. Three wins followed by three losses. The good news is if that trend continues they’ll beat Ottawa tomorrow and split the home and home series with the Bruins after Christmas.

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