#kind of the right idea. completely wrong execution

[smallsies]

the horror

#this is probably what tv writers do in the midst of trying to ''appease'' fandom tbh #kind of the right idea. completely wrong execution #we want cannibalism we want time loops we want gay sex

[scandinavianfairytale]

Old feelings die hard

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Reader

Warnings: None 💙

It was his first match back at home. Manchester. He knew it'll be bad. He knew no one besides his mom and Jerry would be happy to see him.

Though his mind kept thinking of you.

Would you spare a kind word? A flash of a smile for him? Or maybe even a hug. But he didn't dare to hope. All he knew was that he wanted to find you. See you again.

Apologize.

So before the team got up for the morning practice, he put on his hoodie and jogged all the way to the café he knew you owned.

And there you were.

He stopped at the big window and stared at your smiling face as you prepared the shop to open. It was amazing to see you so content, and he was so proud. You really made it - you had your own coffee shop and a good one, according to Google reviews. It was a cozy place, walls lined with books and plants, all your favorite things. His will was wavering and his anxiety was rising, his chest heaving. But he needed to do this. It was now or never.

He entered the café carefully, and he heard you humming to yourself as the steamer made its normal high-pitched noise. You busied yourself around the coffee machine, completely oblivious to the fact that you had company observing your every move.

Jamie was trying to think of a way to pull you out of your world, but he couldn't think of a justifiable reason. You looked so happy, reaching for cups and different coffee beans. That is until you finally turned around to fill the cookie jar on the counter and let out a shriek of surprise as you found a person standing inside the still closed coffee shop.

"Jamie fucking Tartt. As I live and breathe." You finally smiled as you realized who was standing in front of you. Making your way around the counter you wrapped your arms around him. Jamie was taken aback by the sudden hug but once the initial shock wore off his hands grabbed your torso and brought you even closer to him.

"Matcha latte?" You asked as you sat him down at one of the tables at the back. With just one look at him, you knew feeding him coffee would be a bad idea.

"Sure."

"How have you been?" He asked as he waited and stared at you.

"Busy. You know how it is." You flashed him a smile, but didn't linger. "How have you been? I saw that Richmond is making stride, congrats!"

"Yeah..." Jamie didn't sound as confident or cocky as you were used to, so your head immediately snapped back from the matcha and you finally took him in. Properly this time. Before, you just assumed it might be before-game-jitters.

"Jamie, what's wrong?" You asked concerned.

"I've been meaning to contact you for a while now." He paused and met your eyes. "I've been a shit person. You didn't deserve it and I never got to say it when I got the chance, but...I love you. I always have. Since that day that you pushed me down in the forest and sat on me because I was being a cocky little prick." You smiled at that.

"I wish I could take all the bad stuff back. I wouldn't have hurt you. And I wouldn't have left. I am so sorry." Jamie hung his head.

"That must've been weighing on you for a long time." You replied with a pause. What he was talking about was something you didn't think about that often. Of course being the girlfriend of a young football star and then being left very abruptly phased you and impacted your future relationships, but therapy helped a lot. It's not just that Jamie was a prick, no sugarcoating needed there, but you weren't a sunshine either. "Jamie, we both weren't great people - we were still basically teenagers. You were going pro in football and I was going abroad for university. We would have broken up eventually or someone would have cheated and I think while the execution was not great, you did the only right thing. So, I hold absolutely no hard feelings for you." You smiled and he finally lifted his head to look at you.

"As for the confession about love...why don't you first get into the good graces of Manchester and then we can talk, I don't plan on jeopardizing my entire life because the man I want to date is hated by the whole fucking city."

"Wait...would you want to go on a date with me?" Jamie asked, looking shocked.

"Well, I'm single and the only guy I ever really loved in my life just said that he still loves me, so I guess so?" You grinned.

"Can I kiss you?" Jamie stood up from his seat, with a little more pep and you nodded, stepping closer to him with a ridiculous smile on your face. It was like muscle memory when your lips met and suddenly all the other guys made sense - you never liked kissing them as much as Jamie. Your therapist offered that idea to you but it dawned on you just now.

Thank you for reading! 😊💙

The GIF belongs to the amazing creator 😊

#phil dunster #ted lasso #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #fluffy #old feelings die hard #short story #fanfic

[genericpuff]

I was kind of curious: What do you think of Persephone's therapy scenes in episodes 160-161?

I personally liked them, but you and many other LO critics always seem to see things that totally flew over my head (I mean that in a positive way).

I think the idea behind them was fine, just the execution that felt really half-baked. Rachel doesn't like scenes to sit too long so the therapy scene, of course, wound up being rushed in the course of 2-3 episodes (meaning she had to have Persephone dump everything all at once) and while Persephone's dialogue is handled relatively well, the direction of the scene itself feels entirely mismanaged (which is both a side effect of Rachel's directionless writing and the fact that she clearly doesn't want to do more than one of these kinds of episodes so she needs to speedrun it).

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion concerning sexual assault ahead!

Like, let's start with Persephone's intent in going to therapy. Wanting to pursue therapy doesn't just happen suddenly, there's usually a "trigger event" to make someone realize "I need help", whether it be hitting rock bottom or even just going "I feel like I don't have the skills or tools necessary to deal with what I'm dealing with, I need a professional opinion".

Despite Eros advising her to go to therapy all the way back in S1 to address her assault-

-she actually finally goes to therapy in S2 not to address the assault, but to address... how she feels insecure in comparison to Hera who she just found out Hades had a long-term affair with??? At least that's definitely the implication.

And then of course the therapy session itself segues immediately into "Persephone is a high achiever and it's because of her mom being overbearing" which Rachel doesn't connect at all to either the SA or her feeling insecure compared to Hera (which, by the way, barely even has anything to do with her, but she didn't - and still doesn't - have the emotional maturity or self-respect to realize that Hades is a serial cheater-)

That's where the first therapy episode cuts off, and then the next episode immediately opens with Persephone writing her entire backstory on a whiteboard, so we can assume time has passed and she's talked about everything from her childhood up until this point.

Then we get Chiron asking Persephone... what could go wrong if she leaves TGOEM??

Even though we never saw any of the actual sequence so it just feels like a question that's coming out of nowhere? Like did Persephone say during that schpeel that she wanted to leave TGOEM? Isn't that something we should have seen to connect these two trains of thought?

Ah, right, because we have to get into Hades. Because this comic fails the Bechdel test so hard it can't even have a character talk about their trauma or childhood without it seguing into "well there's this one specific main character guy I just really wanna sleep with-"

Don't get me wrong, if Rachel is trying to "deconstruct purity culture" here, I can get her angle with this, if Persephone has been "groomed her entire life" to be an eternal maiden then there's clearly some thought processes about sexual attraction there that are being challenged by her attraction to Hades. But it just feels so rushed purely for the sake of getting her through her trauma and childhood problems and everything that Rachel tacked onto her backstory (in an attempt to make her seem more than just a self-insert) so that Rachel can get her back on track to sleeping with Hades, the one and only man she's clearly ever felt sexual attraction to enough to want to leave TGOEM and question her entire childhood.

And then we get this and I just-

Like first of all, again, Persephone being a complete airhead and not realizing that it has less to do with her possibly being an inadequate partner and more to do with Hades being a serial cheater who also used her as an emotional affair partner;

but ALSO the fact that the conclusion is some "eureka" moment of "you're a bad decision maker" ??? I was a fan of the comic still when this scene happened and even I went "huh?"

Like she doesn't bother to try and connect it to everything she just learned and said about her childhood and how she wants to be the "perfect daughter" who will make everyone happy, Chiron just reduces it to "oh you just suck at making decisions". As if "sucking at making decisions" isn't like, a reactionary extension of deeper problems. She's treating it as if Persephone is some "puzzle" to be solved and her being a "bad decision maker" was the answer when it's undoubtedly just one of many side effects of her upbringing. It feels like she's addressing the cough and not the virus.

Also a little off topic but-

Gotta love how we've never seen Persephone actually employ this homework from her therapist because she's constantly stapled to Hades and the only thing she cares about is his happiness. Literally, I don't think Persephone could possibly answer that question because she's never been independent enough to even learn what makes her happy - she's jumped from wanting to make her mother happy to wanting to make Hades happy but we're supposed to condemn the former and celebrate the latter.

Buuut of course we don't get her answering that question because again, Rachel can't spend more than 30 seconds on a single scene because that would demand too much writing and thought from her. So we cut to Hera having a discussion with Asclepius regarding her scars re-opening, yadda yadda.

By the time we cut back to the therapy session at the start of the next episode (that's three episodes that have been spent basically accomplishing nothing because none of the thought threads tie together in a meaningful way beyond what the audience has to assume) Chiron is conveniently wrapping things up and it's then and only then does Rachel try to actually incorporate the SA plotline that was Persephone's ORIGINAL MOTIVATION in going to therapy.

Now, the scene for the most part is fine, I don't really like how the therapy session was written leading up to it, but her describing her freeze response and how she feels guilty she couldn't "fight back" is a very real feeling that I can definitely say was well written.

My one gripe with it though - and sure, this might be nitpicky, but here me out - is this:

I don't particularly like that Chiron the therapist just found out about her patient being a rape victim - someone who's also said she doesn't like people grabbing her / touching her without her consent - and then decides the best course of action is to comfort her... while touching her.

Now I want to make it perfectly clear, it's not against the law or even the code of ethics to make physical contact between a therapist and their patient. Loads of patients have made breakthroughs with their therapists that have called for hugs and while some therapists may not be okay with it, there are definitely therapists who are who fully understand that hugs in those moments are the best thing for a person. But it's still a general boundary that is there and even with patients who aren't victims of SA, consent needs to be asked for / given.

So Chiron just... coming over and touching Persephone on the knee, while undoubtedly seen as a "warm and comforting act" by those who have had similar sessions with their own therapists or even just those who have no clue and see it on the surface level as being "sweet", really irks me, because it just seems so tone deaf to do with a character like Persephone who is supposed to be a victim of having her bodily autonomy taken away from her.

Again, it's a small criticism, and undoubtedly a nitpick in the eyes of some, but a simple "can I give you a hug?" from either Chiron or Persephone would have gone a long way in accomplishing Persephone's need for consent and bodily autonomy a lot more than just having Chiron come up and touch her leg without her consent. Please, for the love of god, let Persephone have some autonomy, asking for consent doesn't ruin the moment.

And that's pretty much it, Persephone talks about how she feels like she's tethered to Apollo, and Chiron assures her that's not the case, session over, Persephone goes outside to Hades aaaand notice how we never actually tackled that "I feel insecure because of my partner having former partners?" thing? Notice how the best we got was her talking about her fears of being an "inadequate partner" which focused entirely on her not being "enough" for Hades and being a "bad decision maker" rather than pointing out 1.) Hades' own faults in being a serial cheater that would undoubtedly contribute to her insecurities and 2.) what Persephone could do for Hades rather than what Hades could do for Persephone? It's always "I don't know if I'm good enough for him" and never "I don't know if he's good enough for me."

Yet another F-- on Lore Olympus' Bechdel test. Every single thing tacked onto Persephone's backstory is meant purely to get her with Hades - TGOEM is just an obstacle preventing her from having sex with Hades, the assault is just a framing device to show how much "better" Hades is for Persephone than Apollo, her overbearing childhood is just to show how much more "free" she is now that she's not living with her mother and is living with Hades instead, etc.

No agency, no autonomy, no character, even when it tries.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[al-the-remix]

Random fandom thoughts/feelings

The reblog button is turned off on this post but I think it's another incredibly important one to be thinking about. I enjoy their framing of how the profit economy of other social media sites has been bleeding into fandom spaces on both tumblr, and like this post focuses on, Ao3. It's something that I've been noticing more and more and it really rubs me the wrong way and I feel like OP's post words it perfectly in a way I've been struggling to express.

This sort of connects the previous post I reblogged on the topic talking about how fandom is not a good in road for becoming internet famous.

A facet of this that's really bamboozled me recently is that I feel like i've been seeing more and more of is the idea that a singular person has a right to call "dibs" on a specific piece of media. Which is honestly totally fucking wild to me and if I'm being totally frank kind of dumb.

Every single one of us who interacts with fandom and by extent and IP is flirting with copy right law, the consequences of which everyone should be extremely familiar with by now with the fall of LJ and various lawsuits by authors, dmca notices, etc.

We have all heard the adage "there's no such thing as an original idea"; the idea that everything we create is the amalgamation of all the things that influence us, good and bad.

This is totally normal and good, actually.

For example, if I and another person both watch a TV show, see a production photograph that we really like and decide to draw it and post them one after the other it would be considered extremely bad behaviour to then turn around and make a big stink about how someone else had the gall to turn around and draw the same thing that I did. We can all look at a picture, video, lyrics to a song, become inspired and create something wildly different based on our tastes and influences--but we also are equally, if not more so, likely to create something nearly identical to our peers, especially in a fandom space where ideas are concentrated and we are all consuming each other's thoughts, opinions, and creations. More than once I've come up with an idea for a fic or a drawing that someone else had had a nearly identical execution of without us communicating or viewing each other's work. That's just the way the human brain works, we're hard wired to make connections in a fairly similar way.

You do not have a right to call dibs on any one photograph, clip of video, song lyrics or any other bit of media you might consume.

This stands for artists, writers, gif makers, AMV creators, and any other way you choose to express your love of fandom creatively.

If you are really hard pressed to focus on the numbers and work at being ~influential~ the burden is on you to distinguish yourself creatively.

There's a reason why not being able to see follower counts is so important to the way fandom and tumblr functions. The concept of ~small creators~ and ~big creators~ or BNF or whatever are all burdens you place on yourselves. No one is taking anything away from you by engaging with the same bit of media you are in a similar way. We all have a right to express ourselves creatively and emotionally through any snippet of media that sparks our interest. You do not get to "own it" just because you happened to pump something out first. There are no creative "dibs". This isn't even some sort of "fandom" etiquette thing that has gone thus unspoken. It's a strange possessive thing that I've seen crop up more and more as the idea of being a capital "C" Creator brain rots people's minds and atrophies their ability to be creative.

Sort of on a tangent, but I have a bunch of other personal random thoughts about how this push to be prolific stagnates fandom, but these are more complicated for me and I'm not as clear on how I want to express them. On one had I am completely on board with the "there is no such thing as cringe" mindset and that everyone has a right to create whatever super indulgent thing they want to without having to suffer people being snobby about it. But, on the other hand I feel very strongly that the cycle of people seeing one trope or characterization being repeated repeated over and over and gaining popularity, reading only that--writing only that--leading others to also only consume that, really stymies creativity and makes it harder to grow the fandom if people that are trying to enter aren't into That One Thing, while also ostracizing people who are already in the fandom that aren't into That One Thing. I strongly believe that people's tastes are at least 70% just what they're exposed to, and obviously not everyone is going to be into whatever weird niche concept they're exposed to through fandom, but the more they are the more opportunity they have to expand that horizon. I don't know how many times I've gotten a version of the "I wasn't sure I would like this but I gave it a shot and it turns out I really love it!" and how good that feels and how much I wish other people were emboldened to do the same instead of being so wrapped up in how their work may or may not be received.

This is mostly a subjective thing though, so it's less cut and dry. Like for example, I really struggle with engaging with transgender fic despite being transgender myself because of the way most AFAB fic is written to the point where I avoid it now almost entirely. Which, frankly, really fucking sucks but also I will be the first person to fight for other's ability to write transgender characters wether they appeal my personal feelings and taste or not.

Anyway, this is one of the reasons I'm so protective of fandom community events, especially ones that employ aspects of the fandom gift economy such as exchanges. There are one of the few wholly un self-centred places left where the focus is on gifting someone something they will love and giving back to the fandom at large by flooding it with art and opportunities appreciation and engagement with each other. It is not supposed to be an opportunity for you to think about yourself and "getting something good" in return or using it a convenient deadline. It also offers you an opportunity to engage with fic tropes and genres that you've never considered writing or reading before.

TL;DR if you've found yourself recently squabbling over how many notes your gifs, art, writing, etc. has been getting compared to other people instead of focusing on forging community ties and your own creative expression, I'm sorry to say you're doing it wrong.

#mostly word vomit but it's a topic i think a lot about since both my job and most of my hobbies are creative focused #and after coming off a nearly two year burnout (that was not caused by any of these things) but effected my ability to participate in fando #and some of my hobbies in favour of others like working out in order to focus on work and stuff that would help my brain heal #I just do not think brining a profit economy mindset is really what's going to make fandom engagement /better/ #again why are you acting like capitalists on the socialism website #anyways i'm really trying hard not to go full “parade of shame down the main street” but this behaviour is so appalling to me and while #i understand it i don't understand the appeal of participating in fandom in that fashion

[theactualsunshinechild]

I have this incredibly specific WrioChi scenario rotating around in my head that I have to throw out there before it drives me insane. Imagine the following:

Childe seeing Wriothesley walking out of his office, calling out to him, and leaping right off the second floor of the administrative zone at him, and Wriothesley panicking and dropping everything in his arms to catch him and then reprimanding him to "Stop DOING that, you brat!!!" And Childe is just like "but it's fun and you always catch me!"

"I should let you drop," Wriothesley grumbles, though his hold doesn't loosen. If anything, Childe feels his grip tighten slightly as the redhead pretends to contemplate the possibility.

"Mmmm..." he hums thoughtfully, "well, I guess I'll have to hope I land on my feet!" The shrug that follows gets the Duke's brows to twitch lightly on his otherwise stone cold expression.

"You'll break your legs from that height." His grip tightens again. Childe grins. He knows this of course. Vision users have tougher bodies, so he'd have to land wrong, but breaking a bone was a very real possibility. However, he'd heal it off relatively quickly, especially compared to the havoc his Foul Legacy wreaks upon his body, and it was a risk he was willing to take. Not only did Childe have plenty of trust in his own body's capabilities and expertise in executing dangerous drops and cushioning rolls safely, but:

"You will never let that happen." Childe's confident reply echoes in the nonexistent space between them, reverberating through Wriothesley's bones.

"I just told you, I will let you fall," Wriothesley scowls down at him. His grip is a little painful, but his voiced threat is rendered ineffective against Childe, who smiles, softer this time, the sharp teasing corners tempered by the concern that was pacing a visible hole through the frost of the other's gaze.

"You told me you should, Your Grace, but your eyes say you won't." For a second those same eyes widen at his words, and Childe knows he hit the nail on the head. He grins in delight as Wriothesley averts his gaze silently, confirming it further.

For a man who was once meant to keep him captive and kept so many secrets, the Warden was a terribly easy man to trust in.

Childe was never a fan of... relying on others. It wasn't really in his playbook, couldn't be, with the kind of profession he was in, the coworkers he worked with. Physically, letting any part of his plans fall on anyone else's shoulders always came with a threat of failure and fatality. Emotionally, the idea of letting people close to him, like his family, in on his worries was even more devastating. Frankly, letting anyone else into his heart and head was always going to be out of the question. Or so he thought.

The Traveler, was one such newcomer into Childe's limited circle. And when they both found themselves in Fontaine once again for one reason or another, the Traveler, ever the networking expert, introduced him to Wriothesley over a cup of the Duke's fine tea. Introduced was, admittedly, a strong word for a situation in which Wriothesley already had his name, family's names, occupation, and detailed criminal record on file. It was a jarring experience to say the least, to have a complete stranger ask after the well-being of his siblings, but at the end of the day, he could finally put a face to the grand title he had heard so many times during his stint in the prison. Even with the amount of reverence people spoke of their Duke with, Childe had been unprepared for the kind of person he really was in the flesh.

Shrewd and cautious, stomping out problems quickly and efficiently. Polite and charismatic, yet tangibly dangerous and unafraid to resort to brutality when his hand was forced. Wriothesley was nothing if not reliable; he protected his values and people with a steadfast viciousness that Childe recognized intimately -- an indomitable, resolute determination that matched his own.

It seemed like there was nothing thrown his way that Wriothesley couldn't handle, and Childe couldn't help but want to test the limits. Posing himself as the world's most difficult problem to solve was an endeavor that came quite naturally to the Harbinger, but perhaps it was Childe's limits that had truly been tested.

Wriothesley had stepped up to the challenge before him and, while neither had expected to tumble into bed together in the process, it had not been unwelcome. Under the Duke's attentive gaze and steady hands Childe found himself being taken apart piece by piece and reconstructed into a version of himself that felt lighter somehow. It was months later that Childe lay awake with the realization that the lightness came with the missing pieces, the shards of his long-fragmented heart that Wriothesley gently pried out from his scars and bones and swallowed down diligently to keep them safe inside himself. And yet, Childe had never felt more whole.

He had come to trust Wriothesley to a degree he could have never even imagined. It was... less frightening than it should have been to have someone hold his heart this way. To have someone he felt so completely safe with. Childe knew that on a physical level he was the overall stronger fighter from their spars, but this did not take away from the serene sense of security Wriothesley's presence gave him. To put it simply, Wriothesley was someone he found himself comfortable with. He was someone who did not judge him at face value, but rather worked to understand his behaviors on a level Childe could never recall anyone bothering to do. Even now, it felt as though the other had already figured out Childe's motivations on a deeper level than Childe himself.

The Duke looks at him again, this time his eyes alight with a streak of mischief that makes Childe's pulse skip a beat in anticipation.

"...Tell you what, if you stop throwing yourself off the mezzanines, I'll reward you."

"A reward from the Duke himself? Must be quite generous!~" Childe fishes coyly for any further information with a lash lidded look and his fingers playing with Wriothesley's tie. The wolfish grin the Duke gives him in response sends a spark flickering down his spine. Wriothesley sets him down, one hand settling familiarly on his hip as the other comes up to tilt his chin up to hold his gaze.

"You'll have to find out, won't you? Although you can rest assured I am a firm believer in paying people what they are owed." Wriothesley's eyes glitter with promise, keeping Childe's breath hostage in the back of his throat. No precise details, huh? Well, Childe is a curious man by nature, so this suits him just fine; the intrigue adds to the fun of it all.

"I'll take you up on that then, Your Grace. I'll make sure to be a good boy for the duration of this visit, and we'll see if your reward is satisfactory enough for me to behave next time, " he teases lightly, and Wriothesley huffs a sharp chuckle of amusement through his nose, giving Childe's hip an affectionate squeeze of agreement before letting go to go pick up what he had dropped earlier to catch him.

Childe missed his touch already.

#genshin impact #wriothesley #childe #tartaglia #wriochi #Wriothesley x Childe #oops that was like half of a fanfic #oh well #i just need it out of my brain #i would have preferred to draw a comic but i don't have the time #so take this for now #a bit more Childe centric than intended #but that's fine

[racefortheironthrone]

The Walrus Was (Is) Pa(u)l

Introduction

Like a lot of you, I was pretty consumed by Nona the Ninth - I ended up reading the entire thing in one night/morning, because there would be an enormous twist every twenty pages and I had to know how the story ended - and, like a lot of you, one of the most affecting plot developments in the book was the culmination of Palamedes and Camilla’s arcs and the creation of Paul. 

In reading people’s reactions, I noted a lot of people who were heartbroken that one or both of their favorite characters were now dead. I also noted a lot of people who were very confused about why the fusion of Palamedes and Camilla was called Paul, and what kind of Biblical allusion Tamsyn Muir is pointing to with that choice of name. I also noted a lot of people who thought that the reveal of Paul was a very fascinating gender moment. 

In this post, I’m not going to talk about all of that: I’m not really qualified to talk about the Biblical stuff, as I’m neither Catholic nor Christian, and while I’ve read enough stuff to think that Muir is thinking about Paul’s epistle to the Corinthians, I don’t really know that text well enough to talk about it. Likewise, I’m not really qualified to do a gender theory or trans reading of Paul, and I’m going to leave that to people who know what they’re talking about. 

What I am going to talk about is the question of death and love and lyctorhood. Because while I’ve seen a lot of people say that Camilla and Pal are dead, I am not so sure. I think things are way more complicated than a simple binary of alive or dead.  

The Dialectics of (True) Lyctorhood

One of the key mysteries in the whole Locked Tomb series is the nature of lyctorhood and especially True Lyctorhood, and this is especially true for Palamedes’ arc across all three books. 

In Gideon the Ninth, Palamedes is the first (or second, depending on when Ianthe worked it out off-page) to theorize that Lyctorhood is the gestalt of eight theorems into one Megatheorem (what the OG Lyctors called the Eightfold Word). Unlike Ianthe, Palamedes comes to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with the theory, both in a scientific sense and a moral sense. We’ll learn that Palamedes is not the first person to come to this conclusion - Anastasia thought that the Eightfold Word was wrong and tried to perfect the process to something that wouldn’t kill Samael Novenary, but either got the execution wrong or (more likely) was prevented by John from completing her revised megatheorem. However, Palamedes doesn’t get an opportunity to act on his conclusions, because right after he gets an explanation of the full scope of the Eightfold Word from Ianthe, he unexpectedly solves the murder mystery and then blows himself up. 

In Harrow the Ninth and As Yet Unsent, both Palamedes and Camilla are off-page for much of the book, but are still very much actively carrying out their Plan B (which they probably got the idea for from their solving the Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex). In the material world, Camilla moves heaven and earth to get Pal’s bones, keep them safe, get the bones to Harrow, and get Harrow to both make contact with Pal’s revenant and remake the bone shards into a suitable vessel. In the River, Pal undergoes an impossible endurance trial to keep his mind together...and when he isn’t keeping himself occupied with his new career in romance novels/erotica, he spends a lot of time thinking about the EIghtfold Word. Notably, when Harrow finds him in the bubble, he thinks that Harrow has cracked it, and then gets wrong-footed by how Harrow’s “work” has scrambled her memories...until he sees Gideon. Back in the material world, Harrow reshapes Pal’s bones into a suitable vessel for his spirit and confirms to Camilla that Pal is in the bones. Then at some point between then and the Epilogue, Pal is able to jump from the bones into Camilla’s body, and we see that they’ve undergone the eye color shift that betokens Lyctorhood. 

In Nona the Ninth, we learn a lot more about how what I’ll call Plan C actually functions. In a mirror image to Gideon and Phyrra, Pal’s spirit is in Cam’s body but (at least at first) only one can be conscious at a time. Moreover, there’s a pretty strict time-limit to Pal’s control of the body, both to avoid hurting Camilla or falling prey to the blue madness. While they try to hide it and compensate as best they can with written notes and audio recordings, this is awful for the both of them - Cam is pretty depressed about not being able to touch Pal (hence the bit where she has to sit in the dark in the bathtub when Nona first does the hand kiss trick), and Pal is very anxious about whether he’s harming Camilla’s body or infringing on her selfhood. 

 As a model for Lyctorhood, then, the Sixth’s revised megatheorem seems less than ideal. Then all of the sudden, we learn that Camilla and Palamedes can be present in the body at the same time. This radical shift in the paradigm scares the shit out of Pyrrha, who describes it as “Synthesis” and is totally convinced that it is a “one way ticket” that will kill both Camilla and Palamedes. This is obviously concerning, because Pyrrha is the only one of the OG Lyctors left who remembers how the Eightfold Word was constructed, so presumably she knows what she’s talking about. 

But both Camilla and Pal disagree. Leaving aside the massive power boost, Camilla clearly feels that the brief window of Synthesis is the moment at which they are truly alive - “it was good. We were happy.” (Keep an eye on that “we.”) As is his wont, Palamedes intellectualizes his disagreement with Pyrrha, and we see that this is what he’s been building to since GTN:

“I think a true Lyctorhood is a mutual death...a gravitational singularity creating something new. A true Grand Lysis, rather than the Petty Lysis of the megatheorem.”

In other words, Pal thinks Pyrrha is wrong about dialectics. In Hegelian philosophy, when Thesis meets Anti-Thesis and produces Synthesis, it’s not supposed to be destructive. Rather, it’s described as the resolution of tension, a peaceful overcoming, a unity of opposites. Notably, Pal uses the term “lysis” to describe his fully-worked-out version of True Lyctorhood - lysis is a biological term describing the breakdown of cell walls, so the metaphor is about the dissolving of barriers between cav and necro. More precisely, Pal argues his version of True Lyctorhood is better than the Eightfold Word because it is “mutual” - rather than a one-way sacrifice that eternalizes the hierarchical inequality of the necro/cav relationship, here necro and cav are equals engaged in a generative process. 

Now to a lot of fans, that doesn’t sound much better than the Eightfold Word. After all, as a friend of mine put it, with traditional lyctorhood you’re only killing one person, and with this you’re killing two. However, I’m not convinced that Grand Lysis is the death of two to make three. 

To be fair, there is evidence that runs counter to my argument: after Camilla and Palamedes do “the best and truest and kindest thing we can do in this moment,” Nona observes the result and concludes that this is “not Camilla’s, not Palamedes - that it struck Nona all at once: they were gone - they had left her - they were no longer there.” I would argue that the text of the novel is priming us to accept this verdict, because we’ve seen it established before that Nona looks at the world with eyes that see the truth of the body. (Nona observes similarly when they’re on the Ninth that Paul interacts with the world differently than either Camilla or Palamedes would have done.)

And yet, I’m still not convinced. 

The Thematics: Love, Death, and Memory

My reason for this position has to do with how Tamsyn Muir writes about love, death, and memory. 

Shortly before they carry out Grand Lysis, Palamedes gives a short speech where he characterizes his relationship to Camilla in a way that he hasn’t ever before, even after the duel with Ianthe: “Camilla, we did it right, didn’t we...we had something very nearly perfect...the perfect friendship, the perfect love.” I would argue that there is a thematic parallel being made between perfect (true) love and perfect (true) lyctorhood. 

This produces a profound catharsis for Camilla, but before she commits to going through with this, she asks a critical question:

“Warden - will she know who we are, in the River?”

“Oh, she’s not stupid....In the River - beyond the River - I truly believe we will see ourselves and each other as we really are. And I want them to see us.”

This is a really significant exchange, because it points back to Abigail Pent’s belief in the River Beyond (something that I’m convinced is going to be the focus of Harrow’s descent into Hell and/or the Tower in the River in Alecto), and because it’s also referencing Dulcinea Septimus and whether her soul will recognize the souls of Pal and Cam. (What that exchange says about the Cam/Pal/Dulcie love triangle and/or throuple I will leave for others to debate.) Pal is taking a double leap of faith, both that Abigail is right about the existence of the River Beyond and that Grand Lysis won’t destroy Pal and Cam’s soul. (Speaking of faith, here is where I think Muir is really starting to dig into Corinthians, but again, I’m not going to discuss theology.)

(Also, keep an eye on that “we” and that “us.”)

That’s before; what about after? Well, once they die and are reborn, the as-yet-unnamed “new person” does something really unexpected - after briefly comforting Nona, they have a conversation with Ianthe. Ianthe - whose necromantic specialty and obsession is where the soul goes after death - concludes that “there was another way, Sextus, after all.” And the new person responds by reaching out:

“I know how hard it is for you to kick against the goad...but there are more worlds than this. Come with us. We are the love that is perfected by death - but even death will be no more; death can also die. There’s still time, Ianthe. Time for you, and for Naberius Tern.”

This is a wild exchange for a couple reasons. The first is that, even as a non-Christian with limited understanding of Corinthians, I can see what Muir is doing with the idea of love transcending death. Second, while it is characteristic for their first action to be one of radical compassion, it’s absolutely wild that their offer to Ianthe is one of transcendental love...with Babs. I don’t think Ianthe would consider it for a second, but the implication that it’s even possible after the Eightfold Word process has been completed is startling. Third, it is yet another instance in which the new person uses “we” and “us” to describe themselves. (This pronoun use isn’t entirely consistent - in some places, the new person uses “I” or “my” - but there’s certainly a trend.)

This brings us to the role of memory - and its relation to love and death. It’s most prominent in Harrow the Ninth and Harrow and Gideon’s arcs about remembering, forgetting, and the attempt to preserve love past death, but it’s also there in Pal and Cam’s arcs (”Palamedes remembers everything: That was his problem.I always remember him. That’s mine.”) - in the arcs of the OG Lyctors, and on and on.

Here’s the critical point: Paul remembers, and remembers Camilla and Palamedes separately and collectively. It’s a bit ambiguous at first; when Paul’s very first action as a new person is to remember Nona’s birthday, and it’s absolutely vital that it is a memory grounded in love, it’s not clear whose memory is being accessed. But later on, when Nona is confronting the existential annihilation of love and selfhood, Paul’s response is that “Camilla and Palamedes were loved by Nona...Pyrrha was loved by Nona. It’s finished, it’s done. You can’t take loved away. We loved you too. Palamedes and Camilla loved you.” Again, the intertwining of love, death, and memory, but critically Paul describes these memories separately - “Camilla and Palamedes...Palamedes and Camilla” - and collectively, with a return to the “we.”

On a more mundane level, when they get to the Ninth and encounter the corpse of a devil, Paul says “I’ve seen this before. My memory’s split.” Paul’s memory is split because only Camilla remembers seeing Colum Asht become possessed - Palamedes had left the room during the fight, so he never saw it happen. It’s a small detail that reveals much.

So here’s the TLDR:

Love transcends death through acts of memory.

Paul is not a tabula rasa, Paul remembers.

Paul is not purely a gestalt. Cam and Pal exist within Paul.

The Metaphysics: Grand Lysis and John Gaius

Here is where I might be getting a bit ahead of myself, but I couldn’t stop myself from drawing a comparison between the ritual Cam and Pal carry out in the main narrative and the secret ritual John did with/to Alecto that we learn about in the interstitial narrative. And to compare the two, I’m going to use a more metaphysical approach. 

There are two metaphysical analogies that I see at work in John’s secret, original lyctorhood process. The first is Biblical, unsurprisingly. Tamsyn Muir quite clearly alludes both to the Book of Genesis - “I ripped half of my ribs from my body and made you from the dirt, my blood, my vomit, my bone” - and the Book of John - “For she so loved the world that she had given them John.” 

The other analogy, and this might be more controversial, is from the occult - specifically, Aleister Crowley’s concept of the Scarlet Woman. In Crowley’s occult theory, the Scarlet Woman is a living woman who becomes the avatar of an earth goddess (very much in the sense of a fertility goddess), so that a male magician (i.e, Crowley) can tap into the female side of the cosmos and attain enlightenment. Significantly, the Scarlet Woman is thought to be an entirely passive entity - Crowley writes “she cannot say no. Her decisions are devoid of authority.” - and is meant to be used and then discarded. 

To tie it back to John Gaius, who is a very Aleister Crowley-like figure, we have a male magician who tries to unify with an earth goddess, but can’t manage it - “I took you into myself and we became one...I mean, I tried. There was so much of you...you didn’t fit....I realized you were too much for me.” So instead he builds a vessel to contain the goddess - “a house to put you in” - in the shape of a beautiful human woman. His connection to that vessel gives him godlike power...but it’s all for his benefit. Not only does John not save the world for Alecto, but he sticks her in a body that she hates and then shoves her in the Locked Tomb. 

Cam and Pal could not be more different, in no small part because they’re borrowing from very different metaphysical analogies. Yes, there’s still the Biblical stuff going on that I’ve been diligently trying not to talk about, but I would also argue that there is a heaping helping of alchemical imagery at work. Let’s start from the way that Grand Lysis is described - Cam and Pal ingest a mysterious powder (some sort of holdout drug or poison - EDIT: as others have corrected me, this is probably Pal’s powdered bones), then they suddenly erupt into all-encompassing flames, then they emerge from the flames...like a phoenix. And to alchemists, the Phoenix represented transformation, the attainment of the Philosopher’s Stone, the accomplishment of the Magnum Opus.

Another key alchemical concept/symbol is that of the Rebis. Like the Phoenix, the Rebis is meant to symbolize the end result of the Magnum Opus - a union and reconciliation of opposites, both spirit and matter, moon and sun, and male and female. And, in a book that is also borrowing pretty heavily from the Tarot - hence the Tower in the River - the Rebis is also associated with the World card, the last of the Major Arcana. Both are depicted as hermaphroditic figures, both represent the union of the material and the spiritual, and both are the end result of a process of enlightenment. 

Doesn’t that sound just like Paul? 

Conclusion

Paul is love. 

#nona the ninth spoilers #ntn spoilers #palamedes sextus #camilla hect #the locked tomb #nona the ninth #Youtube #the sixth house #paul tlt #campal #campaldulcie

[radiobelle23]

All the KinnPorsche fics that had me in a chokehold - completed recs because I know we all have PTSD from incomplete fics

So here I am after thousands of years of being off tumblr for one reason. KINNPORSCHE. Now if you’re like me and you like to hyper fixate on things, then you know what’s it’s like to spend hours trying the find the best fics to satisfy that boost of serotonin. So here I’ve listed all of my favorite KP fics I’ve read on AO3. Now, I mainly read smut but I do enjoy a little fluff every once in a while so WARNING: I’m gonna list some of the most toe curling, smut filled fics of them all here, some summaries are VERY EXPLICIT. I do read Vegas/Pete and Kim/Chay fics as well but this is primarily dedicated to my two favorite kingpins. Originally this was going to be a complete/incomplete rec list but I then realized it was going to be a monster of a rec page. Anyways ENJOY !

Update 10/1/22: Happy spooky season! Can I just say that I honestly did not expect my little list to blow up like this? You guys all fed into my praise kink, not gonna lie. And some of the authors saw it!?! I am not worthy!!! You all deserve the love!!! I realized I left out a couple fics and I am back to right my wrongs! So any * you see has been added since the orig post date... I might need to make a second list.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kings Tree - LuckyDragon

Summary: Kinn was seven when he woke up one morning to discover a small silver circle on the back of his left wrist.

Chapters: 14/14 Words: 78,474

In the Eye of the Beholder - asleepby2

Summary: Rich, the latest recruit to the main family's famed security detail, has no idea what exactly the two dons have going on and he's determined to find out.

- or -

Kinn and Porsche as observed by an oblivious fool.

Chapters: 3/3 Words: 7,883

tiny spark, mighty flame - BeStillMySlashyHeart

Summary: In a world where the touch of your skin with another could reveal your soulmate, Kinn keeps his collars high and his gloves on. What happens when he's not allowed to do that anymore?

Chapters: 11/11 Words: 29,452

A Little Wicked - midnightsurge

Summary: “There is a way to get her off your back,” Kinn seems reluctant to say. “I don’t know how willing you’d be to go through with it.”

Porsche raises an eyebrow.

Kinn sighs and finally spills. “If she thinks you’re with me, she won’t dare approach you anymore.”

Porsche freezes. He stares Kinn down.

-

Porsche never pawns the watch. Kinn never kidnaps him. Somehow they still fall for each other.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,146

Paperwork Promises - surrealsunday

Summary: Filing paperwork and tending to the needs of rich, stuffy executives was never Porsche’s dream career, but a job is a job. That job is made a lot less easy – but maybe a bit more interesting – when the boss he’s been avoiding since that very first day in the elevator, gets a lapful of coffee and an eyeful of Porsche. Just when Porsche was getting used to the monotony of the every day…

Executive Bossman Kinn | Assistant Smartass Porsche

Chapters: 8/8 Words: 80,533

fool me once (fool me twice) - perfumes

Summary: Porsche wondered if any of it was real. It sure seemed real at the time, when Porsche chose scissors to Kinn’s rock, when Kinn looked back at him with such devastation. Such love. It felt real when he’d looked up from the fish they’d caught and said: So kind. Why do you keep your smiles to yourself?

Now, Porsche wore handcuffs again. He left them lying alone in his cell. He could barely look at them.

Perhaps, Porsche had only seen what he wanted to see. Perhaps, he had only ever been a replacement to Kinn. Until the real thing came along.

“I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago,” he said. “But I need your help. Will you give it?”

Vegas smirked.

-

(Or: When Kinn believes Tawan over Porsche, Porsche asks Vegas to help him fake his and his brother's deaths to escape the mafia world. Years later, Kinn visits a small, private beach and orders a drink.)

[Episode 9 Canon Divergence]

Chapters: 8/8 Words:  30,528

Parallel Love - PrinceHeart

Summary: “Do you take Porsche Pachara Kittisawat as your lawful spouse?”

Kinn’s jaw clenched at that, then he reminded himself why he was doing this.

“I fucking do.”

Or where the only solution to bloodshed, violence and disaster between the two mafia clans, is simple. An arranged marriage.

Chapters  20/20 Words:  64,154

between the sheets - DasWarSchonKaputt

Summary: “And who’s that?”

“Oh. That’s Porsche. He’s Khun Kinn’s live-in boytoy. He’s harmless, mostly. Just a pretty face.”

--

A boyfriend can go so many places a bodyguard can’t. As the threat of a potential leak in their security forces looms large, Khun Korn hatches a plot to place an added layer of protection around his heir presumptive. Enter Porsche, former bartender, current bodyguard, and reluctant fake boyfriend of Kinn Theerapanyakul.

Chapters: 8/8 Words:  70,456

cravin’ - yeetlegay

Summary: It’s only when Kinn is two knuckles deep in Porsche’s ass, his teeth buried in the meat of his thigh, that it occurs to Porsche he probably isn’t that straight.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,847

Trials & Tribulations - rainbowcolored7

Summary: In which Kinn is a renowned lawyer for TK & Associates, as well as a certified bastard, and Porsche is his new assistant who isn't sure whether he'll scald him with hot coffee or fuck him before he decides to quit.

Chapters: 3/3 Words:  26,348

Your teeth round my organs - androktasia

Summary: “Aren’t you meant to finger me?” Porsche asks, breathless, as Kinn smears lube around the rim of his hole. Kinn looks up, pausing his movements, and Porsche shifts slightly, almost unconsciously, as though trying to get him inside.

“Where did you hear that?” Kinn asks.  

“I watched some porn,” Porsche says, and Kinn raises an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. He remembers the kind of porn Porsche likes – shrieking women lying back and taking it from coarse, grunting men. “Gay porn,” Porsche clarifies after a moment.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,148

Weak Spot - tessalane

Summary: Kinn nods and clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m – I’m taken.”

“And who is the lucky one?” His uncle snorts, clearly not buying it. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and scans Kinn as if his nephew would say, “ha, sorry, I was just joking.”

Kinn seems hesitant for a moment, but then he turns around and points at Porsche. “It’s Porsche.” He holds out his hand and fakes a smile aimed at Porsche. “Baby, come here.”

What the actual fuck?

Chapters: 11/11 Words:  35,920

give it to ya like you never had it - mirrorofprinces

Summary: “Porsche is extremely close to signing. In fact, he has a final meeting with the execs on Monday morning. The only condition is that he wants to request his first partner, and it’s you.”

Kinn takes a long drink of his whiskey, sets the glass down, and runs his tongue over his teeth. “So you had to meet with me, urgently, to tell me that a beautiful boy wants me to fuck him, thinking I’d say no.” He drums his fingers on the bartop. “Which means there’s a catch.”

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 7,448

right here beside you, i’m still - P1n3appl3_p3n

Summary: When Kinn gets sick, Porsche steps in to lead the major and minor families. They are grossly in love.

In his five months as head of the minor family, this is his first meeting with other clan heads without the weight and presence of Kinn, and to some it probably appears like blood in the water. Porsche much prefers to sit at Kinn's right hand, but he knows he can manage on his own.

His grin is careless, a careful veneer. Time to show these assholes the minor family isn’t one to be underestimated.

“Let’s begin.”

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,869

You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out - aby01

Summary: Feral alphas are devastatingly violent, brutally vicious and absolutely loyal. To have one under your control means great power. Kinn has been looking for his own for years now.

He just didn't think he'd find it in a mouthy beta that tricks him out of his favorite watch.

Chapters: 4/4 Words:  34,025

Note: this is a A/O/B fic, if that’s not your preference genre then skip ahead... But you should really try anything once 😉.

Make Me Come Undone -  ahdriking *

Summary: Porsche fucked up. He fucked up badly.These are his consequences. Kinn teaches Porsche a lesson in trust, and being careful what he asks for. Unfortunately for Porsche, some lessons have to be learnt the hard way.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  15,108

give him something to believe in. - Skamtrash *

Summary:  vegas and kinn make a bet to see who can fuck their bottoms better. the couples fuck next to each other to see who will win, pure filth ensues.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  4,134

The Things We Do For Love - Hissnoiice - A/O/B fic *

Summary: He loves in the way a Theerapanyakun does. Kinn is his father's son afterall, looking after what is his has been ingrained in him since birth.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 8,021 

If You Like Series

like real people do -motherfleckers

Summary: A series of fics set in a fluffy AU where Kinn is a celebrity singer and Porsche is a bartender in a small beach town. That's it, that's all there is.

Works: 2 Words 20,279

speeding through all of these red lights - foreigncars (lunarsoo)

Summary: “I’d like to work for you.”

Porsche didn’t expect his words to draw such an easy laugh out of Kinn. He can’t say he doesn’t like the sound of it, but it’s a little disappointing that he gets to hear it at his expense.

“Why would you want to work for me, Porsche? You know what I do, right?”

- Alternatively, the one where Porsche asks to work for Kinn instead.

Works: 4 Word: 90,539

What I Would Do - TheObsoleteOne

Summary: Kinn was always in control - he had who he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted.

Of course Porsche would end up being the exception.

Works: 3 Word: 36,042

note: author does not have a series summary so i placed the summary for part 1 instead. Part 2 is a Kim/Chay one shot that I found cute. Part 3 as of now is incomplete, hoping the author finishes because I really did like this series. I still placed it on the list because part 1 ended well and is worth a read.

Readers Choice - here's where I gush over some authors

Note: Can I just give a round of applause to the following authors for having multiple works ready for me (and you) to spend countless of hours - and I literally mean hours reading through. 

iffervescent  

Note: this author also happens to have all of the sexy scenes from the KP novels translated... just saying 👀....

The power in the taking

Summary: They warned him, when he started working for the Theerapanyakun clan. Forget leadership, forget duty to his people, forget all that – they warned him. Kinn Theerapanyakun, clan heir: obsessed with power.

Porsche should have fucking listened.

Chapters: 2/2 Words:  17,005

Public Consumption

Summary: Porsche agrees to be in a gay porno. Kinn doesn't work here.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  13,598

and its VEGASPETE counterpart

Brand Recognition

Summary: Vegas wants his top billing back. Pete likes being on the bottom.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6,910

Sample Tasting * 

Summary: Porsche wants Kinn to ask. Kinn just wants the answers.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  10,037

Note: also part 3 of Public Consumption 😉

Intent to Cherish -  A/O/B fic

Summary: A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back

Chapters: 4/4 Words:  47,670

Knowing him, knowing you

Summary: They do the threesome thing, every now and then.

Kinn and Tay meet Porsche

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  12,619

Note: Okay so i couldn't resist throwing this Kinn/Prosche/Tay fic in here, so good and so smutttttyyyy

SourwolfZiam

The Crown

Summary: “Your Highness” Porsche greets after opening the door and finding Prince Anakinn standing there. He keeps his voice flat and emotionless as if he was addressing the King or his General. He bows his head for a few seconds, not looking him directly in the eyes as he’s taken to doing the last few months.

Porsche doesn’t miss the way the way the corners of the prince's mouth tightens at his tone.

“Lieutenant General” Prince Anakinn – Kinn – returns, his voice carefully neutral.

-

Lieutenant General Porsche and Prince Kinn are together and in love, until they aren't anymore.

This is a love story.

Korn is the villain.

Chapters: 6/6 Words:  25,752

Mr. and Mr. Theerapanyakun-Kittisawasd

Summary: The life of the It couple in Thailand, billionaire Kinn Theerapanyakun and supermodel Porsche Kittisawasd.

Works: 2 Words:  8,634

fortunehasgivenup

the undone and the divine

Summary: In the aftermath of battle, all that's left is need.

Need to touch, to feel, to be certain that one is alive and whole.

Kinn and Porsche give in to their need.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,587   

but you’re everywhere (yes you are)

Summary: What if Porsche, upon remembering the kiss on the pier, went to Kinn and said that he remembered? What if there was no diamond auction? What if they'd had a different start?

Would it make them any softer?

(No.)

Chapters: 3/3 Words:  92,424

even though you’re not mine, you’ve got that look in your eyes

Summary: "He doesn’t do that kind of thing."

What Yok means when she tells Kinn this: Porsche doesn’t engage in sex work.

What Kinn hears when Yok tells him this: Porsche doesn’t take men as clients.

One day, Porsche is struggling to make ends meet, enjoying the occasional hook-up in the back of Yok’s bar. The next, Anakinn Theerapanyakul is offering him an obscene amount of money to get added to his roster of “friends”.

The money’s good, the sex is better, there’s no way that this can backfire, right?

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 26,805

The One Where Porsche and Kim Are Gym Buddies

Summary: When the Phoenix comes up to Kim at the gym and introduces himself as Porsche, it's only polite to reply. They're both in the fighting circuit after all.

One conversation leads to another and soon they're gossiping about their romantic lives.

Romantic lives being the rich dude who's been railing Porsche into next week and the cute guy that Kim can't help but want to spend more time with.

It's nice having a friend who doesn't know your brother.

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 19,598

Happy reading! I will be making a separate list for the current ongoing fics, hopefully by the time i get started they'll be close to completion. Let me know if your interested in the VegasPete or KimChay list, I dont have as much but still good to spread.

kurtstiel

i'm the one for your fire 

Summary: This series is canon compliant with the exception of Kinn and Porsche being in an established Dom/sub relationship.

It will explore various aspects of a Dom/sub dynamic with lots of bratty Porsche and doting but firm Dom Kinn.

Works: 5 Word: 39,660

gone was any trace of you *

Summary: Kinn is looking at Porsche like he’s seen a ghost.

Porsche blinks and the haunted expression is gone, Kinn smoothing it over with something neutral, but there’s still something fragile at the edges of it, like a crystal figurine balanced on a ledge. Kinn’s body relaxes in a way that’s purposefully casual, tucking his outstretched foot back onto the bed.

“You were in the bathroom,” Kinn says. He phrases it like an answer rather than a question

Or: Porsche left Kinn in their bed with nothing but a note. In the aftermath of the shootout, Kinn can't stop thinking about it.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,097

all of me (is all for you) *

Summary: The water has saturated Porsche's white shirt completely, soaking through the vest beneath. The translucent material clings obscenely to the swell of his pecs. His nipples are clearly visible through the sheer material, hard and pebbled, with the unmistakable shape of the metal barbells pierced either side of them.Porsche’s head jerks up to check if he can still hide them from Kinn, but it’s already too late. Kinn is standing across the room, staring in Porsche’s direction, entire body coiled tight like a spring.Or: While Kinn is away on a business trip, Porsche gets his nipples pierced as a surprise for their anniversary. Kinn comes home earlier than Porsche expected.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 9,940 

And

Please leave comments and kudos to the authors, they deserve all of the love and more 💞

***yeah im gonna need to make another list...

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche fanfic #fanficrec #reading is my therapy #thai bl #dont be shy #read at your own risk

[thelordofgifs]

the fairest stars, continued

The "Beren and Lúthien steal two Silmarils" AU that has spiralled completely out of my control: time for a new post again! Parts 1-9 are here and Parts 10-15 here. Also now slowly being uploaded to AO3 here, though you still want tumblr for the latest version.

To recap:

Maedhros and Maglor are in Himring.

Maedhros has (somewhat, a bit, with caveats) recovered from his very bad unreality attack, and is now attempting to defend Himring from an army of orcs. Unfortunately 90% of his people aren't there.

Maglor has very much not recovered from being stabbed by Maedhros, and is not really in a great situation.

Fingon is busy trying to stop Curufin's war with Doriath. He's kind of managing to talk Thingol down from attacking Himring's assembled army.

Although his bright idea for accomplishing this was offering to execute Curufin.

Maedhros holds one Silmaril in Himring, Thingol has kept one in Menegroth, and the last one is still in Angband.

Dead characters who are nonetheless still in the story: Lúthien, Beren, Finrod, Celegorm.

When Maedhros' mother named him well-made, she was not picturing his prowess on a battlefield: but Maedhros was forged anew in the crucible of Angband, or perhaps more gently in his long months of healing by Mithrim's shores, and this is what he is good for, now.

And he is very good at war.

Under his command the defence of Himring rallies. Maedhros sets the few archers he has to rain down arrows on the arrows on the attacking orcs, and takes a small party out on horseback to drive them further back, and the fortress gains a little breathing space.

But there is only so much he can do with so few people – and people, at that, who are so strangely slow to respond to his command.

Not that they will disobey him openly, but he is far too aware of their suspicious eyes on his back, the wave of mutters that breaks every time he issues an order.

"And the way they look at me – as if I'm, as if I'm one of the Enemy's thralls – do you think—?"

"Nelyo," Maglor says instantly, "you are not a thrall."

Maedhros attempts to stop his frenetic pacing up and down Maglor's room. "Then why," he says. There is so much noise in his head. He cannot seem to finish the sentence.

"They're Curvo's people," says Maglor, and there is something hard and unfamiliar in his voice as he speaks their brother's name. "Who can say what poison he's fed them?"

That was the wrong thing to say. Maedhros blanches for a moment, draws in a sharp breath, and then says, "Curvo told me – he told me—"

"I know," Maglor says, reaching out a hand. "I know, and he lied. Come here."

Maedhros clutches at his hand. Maglor can feel his frantic, fluttering pulse beneath his fingers.

Maedhros can feel Maglor's, faint and irregular.

He tries to steady his breathing. Tries not to sort through the jumble of memories pressing against his skull (they're dead, they're both dead) and focuses on the present.

Maglor is here, alive, alive – although his pallor has worsened every time Maedhros can snatch a moment from the siege to visit him, and his grip on Maedhros' Silmaril is white-knuckled, and some nameless fear touches Maedhros as he looks at him.

"Should I send you away, dearest?" he asks.

Maglor's eyes widen. "What?"

"It isn't safe here," Maedhros explains, although he has little heart for his suggestion in the face of Maglor's obvious dismay. "If Himring does fall – I don't wish to put you through a hard retreat."

"Don't make me leave you," Maglor begs, his voice teetering on the edge of real distress. "I want – I want to stay here, and—"

"All right," Maedhros soothes. "All right. You can stay as long as I hold."

"You'll hold, Nelyo," Maglor says. "You always do."

In the face of this unwavering confidence Maedhros manages to summon a shaky smile.

When he is gone – and the sustaining warmth of the Silmaril with him – Maglor reviews his objectives, which are threefold.

One: stay alive. Not going very well tbh. He has not recovered from the blood loss. And more than that the world feels grey and cold to his eyes – he who has always loved sunrises – and he cannot stop remembering: the splintered haunted look in Maedhros' eyes, the way, before Maglor sang him to sleep, he was reaching for the knife to try again.

Two: make sure Himring doesn't fall. He cannot quite believe it will, while Maedhros is in command, but the news about the recalcitrance of the few soldiers they have is concerning. He should have realised that rumour would spread through the castle after Maedhros was found in a pool of Maglor's blood, should have blackmailed Curufin's lieutenant into keeping her mouth shut about it – but too late now. Hopefully Maedhros can rally them.

Three: keep Maedhros generally sane, and specifically unaware that he stabbed Maglor. Also not going too well. Maedhros is growing stressed and paranoid. He's noticed that Maglor is healing very slowly (or not at all, to be more accurate). And – as today's incident shows – he will remember, sooner or later.

A dire situation all round, Maglor concludes, and he is not sure how much longer he will have the energy to attempt to handle it.

Where's Fingon when you need him?

Exactly where he should be, actually!

Fingon is mostly succeeding in his objectives.

The Sindar have stood down.

(Thingol agreed to his terms. That’s what matters, right? Not the vague flash of disgust in his eyes.)

“Are we going back to Himring?” Curufin wants to know. “They’re in danger.”

I have to kill you, Fingon thinks, and says aloud, “Yes, we are. But if you’re lying to me again, Curufin…”

He lets the threat trail off.

Anyway. More pressing concerns for now.

He sets a hard pace back through Himlad, reasoning that even if Curufin is lying there won’t be any harm done in getting back to Himring quicker.

Curufin has been trying to make contact with Maglor again, but his brother’s mind is closed – worrying.

All he gathered from Maglor’s brief use of ósanwë was the scent of blood and panic, the sound of orc-horns in the distance and a terrible pain in his side.

Has Maglor been injured in battle? Surely not; his leg can’t be mended enough for him to fight yet. But then what’s wrong with him?

Curufin definitely isn’t going to try touching Maedhros’ mind, considering the state Maedhros was in when he left Himring.

This is such a mess. And it’s all his fault. And Celegorm is still dead.

Be better, Fingon told Curufin – but now he won’t even look at Curufin, and Curufin’s hand is still burned and he doesn’t think it will ever heal.

Does he even want it to?

Back at Himring, Maedhros watches as the orcs press closer. If they manage to surround the great hill completely—

[look I know nothing about military stuff. in lieu of any actual manoeuvres or strategies we are going to assume that the Bad Thing that needs to be prevented is the fortress being encircled. got it? cool.]

“Harass them from both flanks,” he orders. “Keep them contained, don’t let them spread out.”

His paltry force obeys, but with plenty of murmuring.

The patrols, Maedhros catches, and His own brother.

He doesn’t know what they mean. He doesn’t know how much longer he can possibly hold. He doesn’t know where Fingon is, or whether he’s succeeded at preventing a war with Doriath, or why Maglor isn’t getting better.

When there is nothing left but the clamour in his head and his racing pulse, there is still war, at least: still the swift brutal swing of his sword though orc-neck after orc-neck, the splatter of black blood against his breastplate and the deadly dance of the battle-field.

(Still the gentle light of the Silmaril in his pocket. Still Maglor, breathing. But those are harder to hold on to.)

Himring will not fall. Himring must not fall.

As the weary battle for the fortress continues, its chronicle is woven by steady, skilful hands in the House of Vairë.

Míriel Therindë’s grandson has little difficulty finding her tapestries in the Halls of Mandos.

He is staring at them in transfixed horror when he feels a presence behind him.

“Oh. It’s you. What are you doing here?”

“Same as you, I imagine,” says Finrod, coming to sit beside him (metaphorically. since spirits can’t really sit. you know the drill). “Looking at the tapestries.”

Celegorm snorts impatiently. In life he had a tendency, when frustrated, to slip into the language and mannerisms of whatever bird or beast he felt most appropriate to the situation – elves are simply too stupid to talk to being the clear implication.

Finrod is absurdly pleased to find out this is still the case.

Or maybe it isn’t absurd, he tells himself, maybe it’s natural to want to believe that this is still the cousin he grew up with, that a person can betray you and turn your kingdom against you and still have some parts worth saving.

“I meant,” Celegorm is saying derisively, “what are you doing in these Halls? I thought your dear cousin won you a special boon.”

“Impressive you can still speak of her, after what you did,” observes Finrod. “But yes, Mandos did tell me I was to be re-embodied. First of all the Exiles, you know.”

“And?” Celegorm presses, after he is silent for a time.

Finrod smiles at him. “I told him thanks, but no thanks,” he says.

Celegorm splutters for a bit. “What?” he manages at last. “Ingoldo, have you lost your mind? How – why – is this all out of some misguided form of pity? Or are you just flinging it in my face that you can choose to leave and I can’t?”

“Lúthien reminded me,” Finrod says seriously, “that we always have a choice.”

Back in Himring, Maedhros is being pressed hard.

They are so badly outnumbered, and the orcs keep coming and coming, a never-ending river.

If Himring falls, Maglor dies – for there is no chance of his surviving a hurried retreat, Maedhros can see that even without fully understanding what ails his brother, and he has refused to be sent away in advance.

Himring can’t fall, Maedhros tells himself.

(To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well – how those words echoed in his ears four hundred years ago, as he watched his high stone fortress built. He realises, now, that he always expected Himring to fall.)

The orcs have pushed them back to the south of the hill, almost closing off the circle, cutting off their last path of retreat.

Will he burn with the house, then – like Amrod, like his father? The prospect would not be so awful were it not for Maglor.

Nothing lasts forever; Maedhros understands that as few other elves do, and has done since Angband.

But Maglor – Maglor has to live forever – Maglor is dying—

To the south-west sounds a clear silver horn, the horn of Fingolfin.

(to be continued)

#silmarillion #my fic #bullet point fic #the fairest stars #maedhros #maglor #fingon #curufin #finrod #celegorm #look a vaguely nice section for a change! no stabbings or mental breakdowns #some maedhros pov that didn’t shrivel my soul to write #curufin continuing to regret every life choice he’s ever made

[outofthemouthsof]

15-Day BL Challenge in 1 Night!

I'm more of a lurker than a poster but Tumblr's my fave place to wallow in BLness. My 2nd favorite place is the spreadsheet where I track the shows I've watched (172 completed in just over a year), so @negrowhat 's challenge was irresistible. I'm gonna cram my answers in one post. Here goes!

Fave OG Actor Pairing: Some of the ones I think of as OG are only like 4 years old, so this was tough. And the 18 shows that have gotten my top score aren't very old. But I went through those 18 and picked the oldest, and it was the 2018 Korean microfilm Some More. Because it's so short it's super rewatchable, but even if I wasn't able to watch the whole thing a half dozen times (which I have), I'd still have gone back & watched the sweet moments and sex scene about 25 times (which I have). So I guess my fave OG actor pairing is Park Chan Ung and Kim Joon Bum! How they got me so deeply invested in their love in mere minutes is beyond me, but they did!

Fave Rookie Actor Pairing: Does Japan do the CP thing that Thailand does? I don't think so, but one couple I wish had about a dozen more BL series together lined up are Kouhei Higuchi and Atsuki Mashiko of My Personal Weatherman! Their chemistry was visceral and they're too pretty to be believed.

Side Dish That Should've Been the Main Course: While I enjoyed the main pairing a lot, they were nothing compared to the crazy rollercoaster side plot (how'd it go from so funny to SO dark to so sexy to so sweet and wholesome like that??) of Vegas/Pete from KinnPorsche!

Fave Ship Dynamic: Obvs from answers 2 & 3 I am not against D/s ships at ALL. Also a sucker for tough-but-submissive-bodyguard with mafia-brat-prince. Honestly I like tons of different dynamics from innocent to toxic, but one that gives me major butterflies is a guy who thinks he's straight but when confronted with the idea of liking another guy, doesn't have a macho freakout or run away, just kind of straightforwardly & sincerely searches his feelings until he figures it out. And then takes care of his baby. Why's that so HOT and sweet? Some of my fave examples: Pete/Ae in Love By Chance, Le Jian/Amber from DNA Says Love You, and Ida/Aoki from My Love Mix-Up!

Biggest Flop: This is expectations vs. execution, right? There's loads of shows I've abandoned, some I've stuck with for no good reason, etc., that are way worse than what I consider my personal biggest let-down. I was so enamored of Perth from LBC that I assumed he could do no wrong, and the bully-to-lover, rich/poor pairings often do it for me. So I guess I just assumed Dangerous Romance would be amazing, and it was REALLY good for a couple episodes. It wasn't the worst thing I ever saw, but so much of it just ... felt ... flat. Very surprising.

Fave Line From Your Fave Series: Well I know my fave series--Cherry Magic Thailand was the most perfect, entrancing, heartwarming series EVER, OMG, it was staggeringly good and stuck the landing in a way few shows have managed. I can't really think of one standout line--the script was so on point & there were HUNDREDS of sweet tingly moments. There were some epic ones in ep11 tho: When Achi says "The voice inside your head is so loud" and Karan (the boldest he's ever been) replies "Don't worry; soon you won't be able to read my mind anymore." (But then clearly uses that power one more time to gain the sweetest nonverbal consent EVER.) Then, Karan: "Do you regret losing your power?" Achi: "I'd regret not loving you." (OMG how I squealed.)

Fave Villain: This was so tough. An over-the-top villain I loved to hate (and an actor I loved from his sweetie-pie green-flag role in SCOY) was obvs Heng Asavarid as Chalothon in The Sign. But an actor who was so excellent at being loathsome and malicious toward the main couple, with just enough of a redemption arc that I didn't totally despise the character by the end (but did hate most of the way through): Park Hae In as Eun Ji (Jae Won's ex) in The Eighth Sense. It was a typical "faen fatale" role but so well done. So a tie between 2 totally different takes on the destructive ex.

The Trope You Hate Except When It's "This Series": OK, "hate" is a strong word for how I feel about the drop-of-rain-makes-you-ill so love-interest-takes-care-of-you trope. It's OK. But holy SHIT is it overused. Holy shit. I sigh resignedly when I realize we're going there. EXCEPT. When P'Phayu goes to visit Rain in Love in the Air when he's sick, and his version of caregiving? Forcibly applying medicine in the form of a rectal suppository. It is so funny, weirdly sexy, very in line with their dynamic (doesn't get in the way of their romance moments later at all), & it shoves a big middle finger up the overoveroverused sick-bed trope.

Most Visually Pleasing Love Scene: Okay, THE scene in The Sign is the clear winner in my & many people's books. But there are so many runners-up: the post-race one in Love in the Air. Just about every one in Pit Babe (both couples) & My Personal Weatherman. (A lot of other faves don't quite qualify as visually or emotionally pleasing--lustfully pleasing should be a 3rd category in this challenge!)

Most Emotionally Pleasing Love Scene: Again, I have a clear winner: Cherry Magic Thailand. So full of emotion, so well deserved, so everything. Sigh. But lots of runners-up: same scene in The Sign, both kissing scenes in DNA Says Love You (tame but soo emotionally satisfying), Ray & Sand's camper reunion in Only Friends, the post-prison love scenes for both couples in Kiseki: Dear to Me, the 1st time in I Feel You Linger in the Air ...

Breakup That Should've Stayed Broken Up: Maybe it's because I try to be choosy in what I watch all the way thru or maybe I'm a big softy who tends to root for every couple no matter how lame. In all my completed shows, I could only think of 2 breakups where I wasn't at all invested in them getting back together (and maybe against it): Tian/Poon, What Zabb Man and Top/Mew, Only Friends.

Wedding You Wish You Had an Invite To: If we're talking weddings that actually appeared in the show, Achi and Karan's in Cherry Magic Thailand, obvs! If it's hypothetical weddings, I'd be desperate to go to one of ANY of the characters in Playboyy! I'd wear a bulletproof vest & bring my own flask of booze, but it would be the trashy chaos-filled social event of a lifetime.

Give 5 Good Boys a Gold Star: Just 5? OK, some I haven't mentioned yet. 1. Shin Woo, Light on Me, 2. Palm, Never Let Me Go, 3. Mohk, Last Twilight, 4. Thun, He's Coming to Me, 5. Neua, Secret Crush on You. Best boys!

The Top 5 Most Sad Boys: I'll limit it to ones where the suffering was kinda pretty, not just painful. 1. Way, Pit Babe, 2. Akk, The Eclipse, 3. Kaipa/Gaipa, Moonlight Chicken, 4. Hae Bom, Cherry Blossoms After Winter, 5. Kiyoi, My Beautiful Man

Bestest Besties: Just one? Gah! Fine, Pearl & Gavreel in Gameboys. She got those boys together in quarantine!

#BLChallenge2k24 #cherry magic thailand #gameboys #until we meet again #secret crush on you #light on me #he's coming to me #pit babe #the eclipse #my beautiful man #cherry blossoms after winter #playboyy the series #love by chance #strongberry #the sign the series #only friends the series #the eighth sense #dna says love you #my personal weatherman #my love mix up #love in the air #kiseki dear to me

[dragonomatopoeia]

earlier i was expressing my confusion to stella about how common it is in werewolf or shifter romances for characters to describe their nonhuman forms as separate from them like "my wolf" or "my dragon" etc and stella went well it's obvious isn't it.

and i flatly went "...uh... is it...?" and cocked my head. and knowing i was definitely barking up the wrong tree said "The fantasy of potentially positive representation for systems? Metaphorical DID?" and then admitted i was lost

and stella shook her head and went air. air. it's about the romantic fantasy of monstrous aspects being separate from you and having their own allure.

and again i stared blankly at her and went Wouldn't You Want to Be The Wolf Though. Like I would want to be the dragon. personally. i would not want the dragon to be a separate guy. unless i could both be a dragon and also have a dragon in my brain. OR be a dragon and have a wolf in my brain. or vice versa

"Well." stella replied. "That is another kind of fantasy, yes. But the idea of the monstrous being separate has its own allure. Like... you say 'there's a darkness growing within me' all the time"

and the thing is Oh Yeah I Absolutely Say That. but i don't think the darkness is necessarily separate from me. like if you think of the ocean and then think of a shark you CAN differentiate the shark from the ocean but that's a latter stage of distinction right. like they're tied together in your mind and you would think of the shark as Part of the ocean. My brain is in my body but is also part of my body. my less charitable urges and feelings are as much a part of me as any other aspect. darkness is a transitory state and the distinction between dark and light is fluid. it's all about how you externalize, categorize, or react in the end

anyway all this to say is that if i could turn into a wolf i would want to Be the wolf and not feel like i was taking a backseat. i want to be able to shapeshift not be in a body that is ontologically distinct from myself that can shapeshift. that sounds like a recipe for a completely new kind of dysphoria. which now that i say that could be an interesting metaphorical exploration of Gender through genre fiction. but i somehow don't think i'm gonna see an interesting exploration/ execution of that in your typical werewolf romance

#long post #now that twitter is died you guys have to experience this #i should probably come up with a tag for when i'm puttering around in my bathrobe and addressing the paintings on my walls

[maestriovermind]

Pinned Post

Color Key: (Read first, very important)

most important information

important information

please read

positive information

negative information

#tag

et cetera descriptive or ancillary text

Anons and DMs are always open! If you do want to directly message me, I highly recommend adding me on

my discord: mindgirl

I may occasionally edit this pinned post with new / remembered information to better express myself.

Beginning of bio for short attention span havers:

Names: Amaranth / Amy (please ask before using Amy)

My age, as of my birthday in 2023: 23 years old

My preferred pronouns: she/they/it

My preferred honorifics: Ma'am, Miss - Ask before using any others

Sexuality/Romance/Etc: Demisexual/Asexual, Panromantic, Poly

Likes, in no particular order:

TTRPGs, TCGs, Video Games, Writing, Art, Music, Theatre, Movies, TV Shows, Animation, Cooking / Baking, Computer Science, Psychology, Hypnosis, Learning, All forms of life, Defiance in the face of injustice, Kindness, Empathy, Therapy, Anything that pisses off my mother, Webcomics (yes including that one), Generally pretty much every form of telling stories available to me

TTRPGs that I play / have played or at least read some:

DnD 5e, Pathfinder 2e, Masks, Dungeon World, Thirsty Sword Lesbians

Favorite Foods/Drinks, in no particular order:

Takis, Raspberries, Blackberries, Crispy ginger beef, Broccoli with cheese, shrimp fried rice, Monkey bread, Catfish, Homemade kombucha, Dr. Pepper, Water, Sourdough bread

I will probably immediately like you in some capacity if you meet one of the following criterion:

Goth, Punk, current or former "Scene" girl, Woman (bonus points if your hair is short), Witch/etc, GNC, Using "She/Her, They/Them, She/They, or Fae/Faer" pronouns, Nice to me

Disclaimer:

I hold the stance that to believe every single cishet man to be a chaser or bigoted is bigoted in itself, so don't discount yourself if you are both a cisgender man and only into women, you still have a chance, even if I may be biased against you.

Dislikes, in no particular order:

Purposeful lack of empathy, Executive tasks, Purposeful ghosting, The USA, Law enforcement, Any form of purposeful bigotry, Gatekeeping, Calling anything/anyone "cringy," Myself, "cancelling" someone/something without significant evidence and reason to do so, deciding that something/someone is unequivocally good or bad, rejecting the idea that people change, Logical fallacies, the word "Lazy," Conflict, Rejection, Purposeful lack of honesty (especially in a relationship), excessive vegetables/greens, cucumbers, tomatoes, excessive onions, non-crunchy asparagus.

I'm just here looking for friends that enjoy similar things to what I also like to partake in, be they horny or not.

- - - - - - - -

Frequently used tags and what they mean:

#hypnosis, #cw hypnosis, #hypnok1nk

typically used as a trio when tagging hypnosis themed art, or any mention of hypnosis in an ask response or any post in general

#thoughts on the brain

always used for posts that are just rambles, or off topic

#my voice

will always be attached to posts that feature my voice in an audible format, whether directly attached or on the audio hosting website that I typically use

#my art, #digital art

Art that I have created. Will usually include #digital art, as pretty much all art that I make is in Clip Studio Paint

#ask response

A response to an ask. Exactly what you think it means.

#brainwashing

Explicit mention of some form of conditioning, classical or operant, usually paired with #hypnosis, #cw hypnosis, and #hypnok1nk.

#maestri sub tag

Woag me? A bottom? Surprising right? Wrong. This tag is for all of my posts (after a certain point where I started using the tag, I'm not going to find all my older subby posts and tag them) in which I am being a complete and utter subby little bottom. Please don't make fun of me too much.

- - - - - - - -

If you read all of my pinned post, congratulations! I will probably like you a lot more because you are emotionally invested in me and learning as much as you can about me.

:>

#pinned #cw hypnosis #thoughts on the brain

[saberamane]

I would just like to share this lovely comment from someone on chapter 65 of 'We Were Born For This', it is just so great to see some just get it when you write something that isn't blatant or right in your face.

I've been binge reading this wonderful story over the past couple days, and when i got to this chapter i just had to comment. It feels almost like the culmination of... a lot of things desmond is overcoming, i don't quite know how to put it into words though i'll try (if it comes across awkwardly just keep in mind i absolutely adore this story with my whole heart, so it absolutely isn't intentional).

The way i'm thinking about it, is that we've been slowly watching desmond reclaim how to be a person, and this is one of the last Big Things that have been taken from him without any progress on overcoming it, so it feels like a big victory for desmond to find a way that feels 'safe' for him to explore this side of himself. While as an ace myself i'm fully aware sex isn't necessary for a fulfilling life, it is a completely different thing to have something forcibly stolen than it is to willingly give it up, so there's almost a feeling of pride in seeing desmond begin to grow past it. I also really liked the subtle dom/sub aspects you introduced, even if it was apparently an accident, because i've always felt like it was almost, natural, for things to go in that direction with characters like that. Let's see if i can put it into words, sorry if i ramble on too much...

Okay, so when you have that human weapon vibe from a character, it almost feels like having some sort of sub vibes (sexual or non-sexual) comes naturally, you know? Like, when someone has been built from birth to be nothing more than a weapon, with no wants or desires of their own, the idea of taking charge of themselves for no purpose other than to serve themselves would probably feel unnatural. Like, even when those characters heal and grow beyond just being nothing more than a weapon, that doesn't erase the past, doesn't change the fact that they feel more like they were /built/ than /born/, and that part of their being is always going to be there in the background. And it's its own kind of healing, to choose for yourself who you /want/ to guide and direct you, to willingly offer what was previously taken forcibly. To still be a weapon, but one wielded by gentle hands that you know would never hurt you, that doesn't even view you as the weapon you know yourself to be but instead considers you as the person with wants and needs you can only allow under their encouragement... still a weapon, but more than just a /thing/ to be used and thrown aside... the inherent eroticism of the weapon/wielder dynamic, is what i'm saying. I like my smut with a side of psychoanalysis, lol.

It was wonderfully executed as well, i must say. The smut was written in a wonderfully visceral way, and you could just feel desmond giving himself over so beautifully. Being a good soft dom apparently comes naturally to ezio, with his easy confidence and understanding of what desmond wants and needs, and sheer delight at providing it. Desmond being able to completely relax into it thanks to the mix of the pleasure (unfamiliar and taboo) with the feeling of being commanded (easy and safe). The shame and fear being countered by the comfort of a person he loves and wholly trusted being the one to guide him through it, turning it from something he's doing wrong and must be punished for, to something he's unquestionably doing right as ezio tells him how good he is for it, all while being considerate to hold himself back and not push desmond too far for his own wants and desires.

Basically, thank you very much for such a wonderful story, i am very happy to read this :)

#personal #assassin's creed #assassins creed #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #we were born for this fanfic #desmond miles #ezio auditore

[ines2925]

Angel Dust – representation that was needed

It's a little different kind of post for me. Not only because it's about a different angel than usual, but because it's very private as well. But I'm obsessed with Hazbin Hotel, and watching it meant so much to me, so I thought I would share.

(Sorry if it's weirdly structured, it is a bit of a stream of consciousness, really.)

CW: sexual abuse

Spoilers: Hazbin Hotel "Masquerade" (s01 e04) 

Trauma response 

I'm absolutely grateful to the creators for giving us Angel Dust and impressed by how they handled his story. 

Seeing a character that is hypersexual because of their trauma was extremely cathartic for me. And watching how Angel kept getting himself in dangerous situations and sexualised himself to regain control over his body, made me feel seen.

I think when it comes to sexual abuse, what we see most often in media is how someone completely draws back from all forms of intimacy after the assault. This is a valid experience of course (we process trauma in so many various ways!), but it can be really alienating as well.

Rejection

Another aspect the creators executed really well was Angel's initial dynamic with Husk. The way they showed how there is something addictive in constantly getting rejected was excellent.

Angel knew how Husk would respond to his flirting, and it was exactly what he was looking for every time. Something that could be transparent when he escalated their fights in the "Masquerade" episode.

Rejection means that someone sees how broken you are, how disgusting and undesirable. At the same time, it can power your need to use your body even more because you need confirmation you are still someone who could be wanted by others.

Regaining control over your body 

I didn't know I needed to see someone who had the same reaction as me – who tried to use their own body just to feel like the choice was theirs, to prove that not every act of intimacy had to be something that was done to them. But it helped me see my own experience in a completely different light.

I thought that as long as it was my choice I would feel fine. And I thought that as long as I made someone desire me, I was the one in control of the situation. It made me blame myself for what happened to me even more because I now had proof, that it could be my decision, something I could change if I wanted to. 

It made sense in my head, even after spending a lot of time on healing. But it fell apart after seeing Angel's story.

Re-learning empathy

I think this episode is truly important and eye-opening. Even though I thought I understood my self-destructive tendencies, what I needed was to see someone else in that situation to be able to show them empathy I didn’t have for myself. 

Because there is always the matter of a 'choice' that makes it hard not to blame yourself. Especially after the assault when you feel the weight of your own decisions even more because now you should understand what is right and what is wrong. The wrong happened to you, after all. It should be easy to recognise situations when something feels off, shouldn't it?

But throughout the whole episode, I was screaming in my head: “It’s not your fault” at Angel, and I just wanted to embrace him and assure him of that.

And I guess it finally clicked that it was the same for me. That I deserved this kindness as well. And today I feel like I'm a step closer to actually giving it to myself.

So hey, if you somehow read it and haven't watched Hazbin Hotel yet, give it a go. I think you won't regret it! It has great depth, amazing songs and a unique style. And I think we still need more stories that explore the idea of Heaven and Hell! Especially as excellent as this one.

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #sexualassault #trauma #trauma response #trauma recovery #empathy #healing #Youtube

[plus-i-miss-you]

hey can i request anything (rom) shidou related . please t2 prisioner reader and in jail setting . besides that go wild i love that man so much no matter the scenario it'll be great + the 1 post u have up at time of requesting is REALLY good so .. idk i trust itll be good no matter what

▷ listening to:

"maybe it's okay to give love a second chance" (gn!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılıㅤ

♪ note: SO SORRY ANON FOR TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME WORKING ON THIS... uni be damned i'll try my best to finish writing all the requests i have in my inbox! (also i really should make a masterlist..)

♪ summary: after the first trial, shidou has been voted innocent.. not the verdict he was hoping for. and now he has mahiru and fuuta's injuries to take care of. the second trial is already a lot for him, so you can only hope you can help him somehow.

♪ warnings: none 

♪ shidou just couldn't understand why he was forgiven. he literally asked for a death penalty. yes, he knew about the three trials system, but he could still be voted guilty after the first trial, right? he thought this would make es's work easier, they don't even have to think about his verdict, they just have to vote him guilty and that's it. but for some reason unknown to him, the 15 year old guard still decided to forgive him. why? maybe there was something wrong with his video? or.. it actually was their idea of punishing him?

♪ you didn't know anything about shidou's crime. you had some thoughts, but theorizing about a fellow prisoner's crime felt wrong and weird. however, you still couldn't agree with his own opinion on his crime. you've talked to him before, you've seen him help others, you just couldn't believe that someone like him could've committed such a horrible crime that he deserved to die for it. maybe you did like him. maybe you were biased. but hey, you doubt that the guard's judgement was 100% unbiased either.

♪ you've seen him help mahiru and fuuta. mahiru could've literally died if it wasn't for him. how can someone like him deserve to be executed for his crime? maybe you just don't want to accept the truth. maybe you just don't want to accept that even someone like shidou is responsible for murdering someone. maybe even more than one person. yes, you're a prisoner as well, but it was hard for you to accept that other prisoners are murderers too, especially someone as young as amane.

♪ shidou doesn't understand why you're so nice to him. don't get him wrong, he appreciates it, but he still feels like he doesn't deserve to be treated this way by you. you're just so gentle, so kind, so sweet, he doesn't understand why you're here just as much as you don't understand why he's here. he will never ask you about your crime though. he understands that it obviously can be something that is hard for you to talk about. if you want to talk about it though, he will listen.

♪ your conversations with shidou are calm and quiet. nobody knows what you two are talking about. nobody can even hear you. sometimes you two sit in complete silence and it's not boring or awkward or anything. you appreciate each other's company and you both just feel a little lighter. if shidou looks tired, you ask if there's anything you can help him with. whether or not you have experience with medical help, you don't mind taking care of other prisoners even if it's just staying by their side while they sleep. you just want to help shidou somehow.

♪ when shidou goes back to check up on mahiru's condition and sees you talking to her and making her laugh and smile even if she's still in pain and making her day brighter, he can't help but smile too. even if he doesn't ask you, you still offer him your help. you still continue to treat shidou with kindness and you don't expect anything from him. when he asks you about everything that you do, you simply shrug and say that "it feels like the right thing to do". haha, you're even more pure than he thought.

♪ when shidou spends time with you, he forgets about his own pain for a minute and at first he felt extremely guilty for that. how can he forget about it? how can he even think about possibly forgetting about it? this is why he deserves a death penalty, this is why he deserves a guilty vote, this is why he deserves to be here. he doesn't know what it is about you that makes him feel like maybe it's okay for him to keep living. ah, no, no, it doesn't mean that you, uh.. remind him of someone from his past. you are you, after all. and it's you who adds at least some kind of meaning to his life at the moment, not counting the prisoners who need his help, of course.

♪ shidou makes sure you get enough rest as well and he's quick to notice if something is wrong. maybe you look more tired than usual, maybe you're refusing to eat, maybe you move a bit slower. he will gently remind you to take a break and will even make sure you get one. you can take a nap while he's in the same room as you, it's fine, there's no need to rush or push yourself. of course, he's worried about all the prisoners here, but for some reason, the thought of losing you.. hurts him the most. 

#💌 requested! #milgram #milgram x reader #shidou kirisaki #shidou kirisaki x reader

[mdeathinside]

I genuinely can't believe that people read the whole Beastars manga and still think that Riz & Pina's friendship was unnecessary and came out of nowhere when the whole Murder Resolution Arc points in that direction:

Because Riz & Tem's relationship is meant to be a representation of everything wrong in Beastars. Their society fears conflict, so they try to avoid it, BUT they do it wrong.

When the other boys of the drama club leave the school, Legoshi notices that carnivores and herbivores coexist and live together in peace. Later on, when they end up in the BAM, Bill tells him that they are happy BECAUSE of the BAM, because they can have a place where they eat meat.

Basically, what Bill is saying is that carnivores and herbivores can live together and be in peace, as long as carnivores still have a space for themselves to show their real instincts. It is the same idea their whole society has: carnivores want to eat meat, so even if it is wrong, as long as they do it in a hidden place away from herbivores, the peace outside the BAM will remain.

Later, Juno comes up to a similar conclusion. Yes, the infamous "What's wrong with segregation?" For some reason, she's been criticized a lot for that lol, even though she's just saying what everyone else thinks is the right thing.

And, even if she's wrong, her reasoning does make sense (from a logical point of view). She understands that predation cases reinforce herbivores' bad views about carnivores, and in consequence, it makes carnivores' lives harder. So, she sees the same solution Bill and society see: as long as each has their space, and as both sides hide the worst parts of themselves while being kind on the outside, they can maintain peace.

However, that doesn't work, and Tem's death is the perfect example of this.

Riz believes that other animals like him just because they think of him as a "cute, nice bear". But the thing is, Riz doesn't want to be liked just because of his virtues, he wants to be liked completely as he is, to be accepted despite not being perfect. That's why, when he tells Tem about the pills, he feels happy: he has just admitted that he can be a lot more intimidating, and Tem offers to spend more time with him regardless. Riz believes that, since Tem already seemed to be fine with that information, then he would accept him and love him even if he saw him as he is naturally— bigger and stronger.

Now, of course, the execution goes terribly wrong, BUT, Riz's reasoning is actually right. The thing that can solve all their problems and make them all happy is to accept the other completely, with their flaws and all, and not just ignore that which they might not like.

In fact, that's exactly what Els does with Bill: she calls him out on ALL his mistakes, but she admits that, despite his flaws, he's a good guy at heart. She's not ignoring his wrongs, instead, she acknowledges them, and accepts him as a friend regardless.

THAT is what Riz wanted. For someone to see him as flawed as he could possibly be, as dangerous as he could possibly get, and still love him anyway. Beastars is not the typical "oh, you're not so bad after all!", nor the "I guess we are not so different, huh?" NO. That's not how true acceptance works. Beastars is the exact opposite: it is "Yes, we are different, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to understand each other". It's a "Yes, you are flawed, terribly so, but that doesn't mean you're undeserving of love".

Riz was happy when Tem pointed out he was scary and when he called him a monster, because it was the first time that someone, FINALLY, saw him as something more than a cute bear. Someone, finally, saw him as something else than perfect, and that is good! Because no one is perfect, because we are all flawed. The point of the story is to accept that imperfection is good, and is part of the beauty of life.

Riz, in his fantasy, believed that Tem had seen him as monstrous as he possibly could be and had still seen him as a friend worthy of love. Unfortunately, what truly happened was that Tem, who up till then had never actually seen carnivores as a real threat, suddenly had to face what everyone else told him: that carnivores hide their true, dangerous self.

The big tragedy about their story is that none of them are wrong. Tem did exactly what society taught him to: be nice and friendly to carnivores, and they'll be nice to you. He just saw Riz as another classmate, another boy just like he was, not even aware of their differences.

But that's the problem with the whole Beastars' world: you don't truly accept someone until you know everything about them, and that includes the negative things. Ignoring stuff you don't like solves nothing. As Riz realized, the way to shorten the distance between carnivores and herbivores is to show yourself as you are, with all your virtues and flaws, and hope for others to accept you as such. You can't hide what you're afraid to show others because you don't wanna be rejected, because it will eat you from inside, and that's what ends up causing carnivores to lose it: the stress from trying to be what others want you to.

And that's exactly why Riz's headaches and side effects went away when talking to Tem: the pills are just a narrative device that works to show how, the more "likable" carnivores try to be around others, the more it hurts them. It's not a placebo effect, but it is only an example of how things get better when we just talk and listen to one another.

Seriously, if you paid attention to the whole story, you'd see that Pina was literally the only one who could give him the relationship with a herbivore that Riz longed so much for:

Pina, who knew that he ate Tem. Pina, whom he threatened more than once, Pina, whom he literally hurt just to get Legoshi mad. That sheep, who saw the worst of him, accepts him anyways, deems him deserving of forgiveness, and befriends him. Pina is what Riz always wanted: someone who could see him as a complete monster and love him regardless.

Herbivores' and carnivores' relationships are about taking that risk, accepting that things may go wrong, but trying to be better together anyway. Yes, Riz does deserve to be in juvenile because he made a mistake, BUT he also deserves kindness, and someone willing to help him, and Pina is the one animal that can do that for him. Just like Riz & Tem's relationship represent the mistakes most make, Riz & Pina's represents the way to do things better.

#yes I just wrote a whole mini essay on why my ship is the best so what #no but seriously #the beauty about this story is that unlike others #Beastars is about accepting that we will never be perfect and that's fine #Beastars has never been about justifying mistakes or wrongs #it is about understanding where they come from and trying to do better #and yet the only thing people understood about it was furry homoeroticism #riz beastars #beastars #pina beastars #rizna #riz x pina

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

#dc #text #jaytim again? no problem #jaytim #meta #jaytim text