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perfectriders · 1 year

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Top popular bikes and scooters from Yamaha

YAMAHA MT-15 V2

Carrying the legacy of MT series, the new MT-15 Ver 2.0 brings more aggression and agility with its Upside Down front forks, Aluminium Swingarm, 155cc LC 4V FI engine and other exciting features. Stay connected with your Dark Warrior through Y-Connect even on the move.

The impeccably styled MT-15 with its Bifunctional LED headlight gives the motorcycle an aggressive and intimidating look. This hyper-naked bike will not only give you the thrill you seek but will also inspire immense confidence in the rider.

Yamaha FZ-X

The All New Yamaha FZ-X comes to India as a crossover motorcycle that is inspired by Neo-Retro design thinking. With future proof features that enhance every ride and trademark classic charisma, the Yamaha FZ-X will inspire a whole new generation of motorcyclists. Together, the toughness, the design, comfort, connectivity and safety of this new motorcycle will make every ride feel like a burst of freedom.

Yamaha FZS- FI

A mix of both worlds, Style Technology, the Vintage edition of FZS-FI is ready to boost the iconic style quotient. The Vintage edition of FZS-FI in India gets the same Style DNA of the FZ brand. Apart from the timeless vintage graphics that augment its iconic legacy, a new leather finishes single-piece two-level seat will further add to its styled-up antiquity. The new Vintage edition of FZS-FI will also have the latest introduced features like Bluetooth Connectivity “Yamaha Motorcycle Connect X” Application for various utilities.

YAMAHA R15S

Yamaha’s racing DNA now comes with the comfort of the Unibody Seat. The manifestation of legends like M1 and R1, the R15S is installed with the Unibody Seat that offers comfort and ease not just to the rider but the pillion too.

popular scooters from Yamaha:

YAMAHA RAY ZR 125 FI HYBRID

The all new RayZR 125 Fi Hybrid is powered by an air cooled, fuel injected (Fi), 125 cc blue core engine. The SMG charges the onboard battery. The SMG along with the engine produces 8.2 PS and up to 10.3 Nm (0.6 Nm higher than the previous RayZR 125FI) torque for quicker acceleration when starting from a stop.

YAMAHA AEROX

The AEROX 155 has been designed with three focus points – Proud Body Size, Athletic Proportions and the X Centre Motif, under the design concept of a “Heart-Shaking Speedster”. Powered by 155cc Blue Core, LC4V SOHC FI ENGINE WITH VVA.

YAMAHA RAYZR STREET RALLY 125 FI

Yamaha RayZR Street Rally on-road price Bangalore. Push your limits on the street but don’t let the adventurous urges be shunned away, the new Yamaha RayZR Street Rally is a machine to satisfy all those desires. The new Street Rally is equipped with Brush Guard and Block pattern tyres with sporty colored wheel stripes that bring out the edgy, adventurous styling look. Be enamored by the sleek mirrors inspired from Yamaha’s sporty models that enhance the street-sharp look of the Yamaha Ray ZR.

YAMAHA FASCINO 125 FI

The Yamaha Fascino Price has already won hearts with its unique appearance and slick design. The new Yamaha Fascino 125 FI Price comes with the visual impression of a “Classic European styling” along with the new features and technologies as it gets an all-new exterior design, higher quality bodywork, newly designed headlight, new gauges and other features.

you can all full featers and price at Yamaha Showroom in Bangalore, Yamaha dealership or authorized retailer for more information about available products and services.

Here is a list of 10 popular bikes and scooters from Yamaha:

YAMAHA FASCINO 125 FI HYBRID on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA RAY ZR 125 FI HYBRID on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA AEROX on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA RAYZR STREET RALLY 125 FI on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA FASCINO 125 FI on road price in Bangalore

yamaha fzs 25 on road price in Bangalore

yamaha fz-fi on road price in Bangalore

Yamaha r15 MotoGP edition

YAMAHA R15S on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA FZS- FI on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA FZ-25 on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA FZ-X on road price in Bangalore

YAMAHA MT-15 on road price in Bangalore

yamaha r15 v4 on road price in Bangalore

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charvimotors · 1 year

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Top popular bikes and scooters from Yamaha

YAMAHA MT-15 V2

Yamaha FZ-X

Yamaha FZS- FI

YAMAHA R15S

popular scooters from Yamaha:

YAMAHA RAY ZR 125 FI HYBRID

YAMAHA AEROX

YAMAHA RAYZR STREET RALLY 125 FI

YAMAHA FASCINO 125 FI

you can all full featers and price at Yamaha Showroom in mysore, Yamaha dealership or authorized retailer for more information about available products and services.

Here is a list of 10 popular bikes and scooters from Yamaha:

YAMAHA FASCINO 125 FI HYBRID on road price in mysuru

YAMAHA RAY ZR 125 FI HYBRID on road price in mysuru

YAMAHA AEROX on road price in mysuru

YAMAHA RAYZR STREET RALLY 125 FI on road price in mysuru

YAMAHA FASCINO 125 FI on road price in mysuru

yamaha fzs 25 on road price in mysore

yamaha fz-fi on road price in mysore

R15M WGP 60TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

YAMAHA R15S on road price in mysore

YAMAHA FZS- FI on road price in mysore

YAMAHA FZ-25 on road price in mysore

YAMAHA FZ-X on road price in mysore

YAMAHA MT-15 on road price in mysore

yamaha r15 v4 on road price in mysore

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mellometal · 3 years

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Hey, everyone.

I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.

It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.

I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.

If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.

Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s

My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.

With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.

To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.

Here are a few screenshots for context:

When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.

Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.

The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.

This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.

Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".

Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.

Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.

Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.

(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)

Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.

ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one).

I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.

CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):

I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time?

You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me.

I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do.

There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it.

No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.

CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):

Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.

Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.

How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.

I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.

Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them.

If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.

CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):

There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.

(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)

In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:

Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!

Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.

By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!

If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.

Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!

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aces-to-apples · 4 years

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Written for Day 1: Hurt/Comfort of Codywan Week 2020 @codywanweek

Here on AO3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: M/M Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Alpha-17 & Obi-Wan Kenobi Notable Tags: Blood and Injury, Concussions, Mandalorian Culture, Blunting Teeth

“daze of our lives”

“You’re an idiot,” Cody said bluntly, manhandling Obi-Wan onto the ‘fresher sink like he weighed nothing more than a bunch of Alderaani emerald grapes. A feat made even more impressive by the fact that Obi-Wan was fully kitted out in a standard set of trooper armor and the commander wasn’t even wearing his own blacks.

“Yes, Cody, thank you for reminding me.”

The look he shot Obi-Wan was normally reserved for misbehaving children—or shinies, as the case may be.

Obi-Wan attempted a reassuring smile only for it to turn into a grimace as the movement pulled at his split lip, renewing its sluggish flow of blood once more. For reasons known only to himself, Alpha-17 had focused rather heavily on causing his face as much damage as possible, rather than seeking to neutralize him efficiently. Of course, Alpha-17 was a bit of a bastard with a vicious streak a parsec wide, so perhaps he’d simply nursed a grudge against Obi-Wan all this time.

Two years and change was a long time to hang onto said grudge, and seemed more than a little extreme, but he supposed anything could happen. Whatever the reason, it made pacifying his commander nearly impossible.

Scoffing, Cody wetted a rag and began furiously cleaning Obi-Wan’s face of… well, gore was perhaps an accurate description. His movements weren’t rough, by any means, but they were perfunctory and Obi-Wan didn’t need to be an empath to feel the low-grade burn of his anger in the tight quarters of the refresher. “Complete fripping moron,” he growled, as more and more damage was revealed beneath the blood.

“Cody,” Obi-Wan began, bracing himself as best he could. He knew that tone of voice well. “There’s no need—”

“How does a Jedi,” Cody cut him off, voice dangerously mild, “cock up so badly that he ends up in a punishment spar with the only Alpha who can nominally stand him?”

“Now that’s hardly fair to Alpha’s age-mates,” he protested weakly as Cody shoved his head and began examining his possibly-broken nose. “I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting any others from the Alpha class.”

“Seventeen warned them all away. Calls you a menace.”

Cody’s voice was serious—dark, even—but Obi-Wan snorted. “Of course he did,” he said, fond without worry and accepting the notion without doubt. “I do regret the number of grey hairs myself and Anakin have no doubt given him over the course of our acquaintance.”

“The stress doesn’t even have the decency to slow the bastard down,” Cody muttered darkly in reply. “Let alone kill him.”

There was a worrying shift in his ribs as Obi-Wan wheezed but he ignored it because, damn it, the idea of something so mundane as stress being the thing to kill Alpha-17 was unbearably funny at that precise moment. Cody shifted back on his feet and watched him impassively. It took a moment for him to realize that perhaps what he was feeling was what the troopers referred to as punch-drunk.

The corner of Cody’s mouth tugged up. “Yep,” he drawled, “that’s what happens when you let one of the Alpha class get their hands on you like that.”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan said, frowning. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Dear me. I believe I may have a concussion, Cody.”

The commander did not look impressed by his powers of deduction. “I told you that ten minutes ago, General.” He scowled and rinsed off the cloth in his hands before turning to Obi-Wan’s split and battered knuckles. “I peeled you off the mats and you said you were ‘happy to see my pretty, grumpy face’ and I said ‘you definitely have a concussion if you’re admitting I’m pretty in mixed company.’ And then you tripped over your own boots and tried to blame Anakin for it.”

“Mmm.”

“Still with me, sir?”

Obi-Wan hummed again, feeling more and more like he was floating as the adrenaline filtered out of his system and pain filtered in. “Always, my dearest commander. Always.”

He sighed but said nothing again for a while, tisking over the damage Obi-Wan had managed to do to himself without the aid of Alpha-17. “What even happened to your gloves and gauntlets?” he wondered aloud, and scoffed when Obi-Wan cheerfully admitted that he hadn’t a clue. “Still haven’t told me what you did to deserve a punishment spar from an Alpha. Don’t think I’m going to just let that one go.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Obi-Wan enunciated with care. “I simply don’t wish to tell you because then you’ll be disappointed with me.”

“And that’s a valid reason to piss off your marshal commander instead?”

“Oh, not at all! I’m just far better equipped to deal with you being angry with me than disappointed.” A punch-sober Obi-Wan would likely not have admitted that, but the Obi-Wan of the moment was perhaps not as wise as he. All he wanted was Cody’s continuing single-minded care and to all the Corellian hells with his dignity. “You have a remarkable talent for making me feel utterly worthless when I’ve disappointed you.”

The silence that followed that statement went on long enough that Obi-Wan had nearly forgotten it by the time Cody responded. “I don’t mean to make you feel like that,” he said with a gusty sigh. “That’s not what that look is supposed to mean.”

Of that Obi-Wan had always been certain, but disappointment had always been inextricably linked with feelings of personal failure and worthlessness, ever since he was a child. Coruscanti Jedi initiates were a cutthroat bunch to start with and his age-mates in particular had been even moreso than the average.

“It’s all right,” he said absently, when he realized Cody was waiting for a reply. “It pushes me to do more, do better, always has.”

“That’s not very reassuring, jetii,” Cody grumbled, swatting away the hand that attempted to clap him on the shoulder. “Quite the opposite.”

“Oh, I’m a jetii again?” Obi-Wan attempted to rouse himself from his post-beating lethargy. The return to the uncomplimentary epithet that Alpha-17 had passed on to his commander before their meeting boded ill. It’d taken months for Cody to finally wheedle out of him why he always chuckled at its use and several more for him to cautiously switch to the less aggressive Traat’ad. “You only use that when I’ve done something to deserve, well…”

“A punishment spar from Seventeen?” Cody supplied, deceptively innocent. “I can only assume you have, if you’re letting him turn your face into paste like this.”

“I—”

“When I’m disappointed in you, it’s because I know that you’ve made your decisions based on faulty logic and you’re not dumb enough to buy into faulty logic about anyone but yourself,” he continued, unconcerned with Obi-Wan’s attempt to defend himself. “When Alpha-Seventeen is disappointed in you, it’s because he knows you’re not stupid and thinks you’re acting like it anyway. So, what’d you do this time?”

Obi-Wan sighed and let his head fall back against the mirror. “Have you ever been through a ‘punishment spar,’ as you call them?” he asked, feeling very tired.

“Fortunately, I’ve managed to avoid pissing any of the Alpha class off quite that badly.”

He smiled, winced, and soldiered on, as it were. “It’s based on an old Mandalorian ritual: pelir edee. Went through it when I was on Mandalore as a padawan.” Cody hummed, well-aware of its history as well as his own. “Usually it’s because a clan member has lashed out at another, disproportionately so, or deliberately brought harm to the clan.”

“You take a swing at Seventeen?” the commander said, joking, but also curious. “Because if you did then I take back calling you an idiot and will be much nicer at your funeral.”

“It’s also—” Obi-Wan swallowed “—unofficially, you understand, used when a leader ignores the advice of their clan members and so brings harm to them through incompetence.”

Cody doesn’t respond for another long while.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was.”

“Our intel was faulty—”

“—and if I had listened to your concerns then we wouldn’t be on this planet you all despise so much, collecting shinies to fill the empty spaces where loved ones once stood.” He had nothing to say to that, knowing full well that Obi-Wan had the right of it. “Alpha got his hands on the mission report that brought us here and asked me to explain what happened. I obliged. And he suggested a spar.”

“With Blitz, Colt, and Havoc.”

Obi-Wan inclined his head. “Naturally. He suggested, as well, that we all armor up for it. Apparently he doesn’t approve of my choice to return to wearing Jedi tunics.”

“None of us approve of that,” Cody muttered. He’d finished cleaning and bandaging Obi-Wan’s hands long ago, now just holding them in a gentle grip. “You don’t listen to us about that, either.”

Well and that was fair.

"Ni ceta, Kote," Obi-Wan said, not meeting his eyes. "I should have listened to your council and now your brothers are marching far away because of my…"

Pride, arrogance, conceit.

"… mistake," Cody finished, quiet, gentle. "It was a mistake. One that cost us, but you're not omniscient, and you did the best you could. That's all any of us can do."

"You knew better."

"Then learn from this time and listen to me the next."

Obi-Wan nodded and allowed himself to be tugged out of the 'fresher and stripped of the death-white armor. Each piece of plastoid was tugged out of magnetic alignment by sure hands and piled out of the way, until nothing remained but his blacks. Those hands then pushed and maneuvered until Obi-Wan was lying on his side in the commander's bed, Cody's chest pressed right up against his back.

The two of them rested like that for a long time, settling together until their hearts beat nearly in sync. Then Cody, his arms wrapped firmly around Obi-Wan's body, clasped their hands together.

"What did Seventeen want you to see, Obi-Wan?"

He linked their fingers together more securely before answering.

"As a Jedi, I have a responsibility to all life in the galaxy. As a general, I have a responsibility to the lives under my command." He took a deep breath. "As a partner, I have a responsibility to treat you with honor and respect. When I ignored your council, I failed in all of those responsibilities, and your brothers paid the price. Alpha-Seventeen wanted me to see those failures and understand that I need to trust you, and the rest of our comrades, in order to keep such a tragedy from occurring again."

"… Sounds quite kind for one of Seventeen's punishment spars."

Obi-Wan smiled as best he could. "Well, I'm sure he'd phrase it differently were someone to ask him. Regardless, I should have done better and will endeavor to do so next time."

"Good," Cody murmured into the back of his neck. "I love you, Obi-Wan."

"And I you, Cody."

#*10 mins later* 'permission to speak freely sir' 'granted' 'you look really fripping hot in armor'#star wars #the clone wars #sw fic #by apples #codywanweek 2020 #codywanweek #obi-wan kenobi #commander cody #codywan

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baskervilleshound · 4 years

Text

Her Cookies Were to Die For (PART 8)

((Hello everyone. I am finally back from the dead with a new chapter! I’m so sorry for the delay- with this quarantine going on, I’ve been a little depressed and haven’t had a lot of artistic motivation. However, hopefully I’m gonna get back on my bullshit and start providing some decent content again hbwrgjkbkj Imma do my best. ))

---

Snatcher’s yellow eyes stared contentedly at a member of the mafia, who had just happened to wander right into his forest. A fresh soul was his for the taking. Thank goodness; he was so very hungry.

Without any hesitation, Snatcher stalked up on the man before laughing as loud as he could, and then giving the mafia guy his usual threats before eating his soul in a single bite. After the mafia was nothing but a shell of what he used to be, Snatcher called for his minions to take the body away. He had suggested that they toss it on Vanessa’s front lawn. She would like that, wouldn’t she?

Feeling a bit more content and full than he had in days, Snatcher floated into his home before taking a seat in his chair. He was hoping that if he held still, maybe the soul would stay down. He needed its power- badly. It was getting more and more difficult to maintain his large, spooky form as the days ticked by.

As he sat with his favorite book in his lap, Snatcher began to feel slightly unnerved. Something…something didn’t feel right. The brat hadn’t come to check on him yet, even though she had been checking on him every day since the whole illness thing had begun. But today, something was different. The forest was still, and Hat Kid had been nowhere to be found.

Snatcher snapped his book shut and let out a groan. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know…but he did, nonetheless. The sound of Hat’s crying echoed around in his mind, along with her bright red, tear-streaked cheeks. That entire thing had bothered him greatly.

“Ugh…I should probably check on that brat,” he growled before making his way onto the girl’s ship in a flash of his supernatural powers.

Once he appeared in her room in his usual place above the pool of pillows, he realized that her lights were off. That was strange. Hat never left the lights off…

Cautiously, Snatcher sauntered around the room, and then into all of the other rooms in the ship. They were all empty. There were no signs of the kid anywhere! What was going on?

Snatcher was beginning to get upset, as much as he despised admitting it. However, his senses immediately picked up a sound coming from the one room that he hadn’t checked yet: the kitchen. In an instant, Snatcher slammed the door open and peered inside.

“Kiddo, what the heck have you--?! Oh, wait. It’s you.” Snatcher’s face fell when he realized that it was only the Cooking Cat, who was sitting on the counter, licking her paws.

“Aren’t you a cook? Licking your hands? That’s, uh…disgusting,” said the Snatcher. “Where’s the brat?”

CC sniffed at Snatcher’s intrusion and shrugged.

“Don’t know. She didn’t tell me,” the cat said, her hands gesturing how much she didn’t know rather grandly. “But she told me to give this to you in case you showed up.”

Reaching into the pocket of her chef’s jacket, the cat pulled out an envelope before tossing it on the floor in front of Snatcher. The disgruntled ghost snarled before he picked it up and tore up open in a snap with his claws.

Dear BFF,

I knew that you would get mad at me if I told you were I was going before I did it, so I didn’t tell you at all. But I’m gonna tell you now. I’m gonna go smack Queen Vanessa until she tells me what she did to you, and how to fix it. I KNOW she did it, Snatcher. I can’t let her hurt you anymore. I won’t. Don’t bother looking for me. I’m already in the mansion. I’ll see you when I have a cure to make you better.

Bye, BFF. Sorry if you are mad at me, but oh well. I want to help you.

Love, Hat Kid

“NO, YOU FOOOOOL!!”

Cooking Cat immediately puffed up from fear. Snatcher had shouted loud enough to shake the entire ship.

“What?! What’s wrong?!” the cat gasped, pressing a paw to her heart.

“She’s going to get herself killed! That idiot! That FOOL!!” Snatcher continued to yell, tearing the letter to pieces in a fit.

“ Queen Vanessa will kill her, you cat! Did you know she was going there?! I swear I will eat you right where you sit if you did! And don’t even try to lie to me,” Snatcher snarled.

“I would never willingly let her in harm’s way, Snatcher. Unlike YOU!” the cat hissed. “Besides, I thought you wanted her dead, anyway. You tried to kill her multiple times, remember?”

Snatcher was shaking from how angry he was. His face twisted up into a snarl before he left the ship in a fit of anger. Once he appeared back in his forest, he screamed at the top of his lungs until every single one of his minions had surrounded him.

“Have any of you seen that kid?!” he demanded, his chest heaving with upset.

“Well yeah, boss, while you were eating and making fun of that mafia guy, she wandered into Vanessa’s manor again,” said the minion closest to him.

“She WHAT?!”

“Is…is that a problem, boss? You literally sent her in there one time and didn’t let her use her hats so…what’s the deal?”

“You…all of you, get out of my sight. I need to attend to something.”

Letting out a groan, Snatcher quickly shot through the crowd and deep into the forest. He was so angry…so upset. That kid was in Vanessa’s manor, probably getting herself killed- all because Snatcher was weak. It was awful, and he couldn’t stand it. Not one bit.

After flying as quickly as he could, Snatcher had to stop to expel more souls. It seemed that getting that upset had upset the rest of his body. For awhile, he stayed still in the darkness of the forest and let it pass. By the time it was finished, he realized that he was no longer floating.

No…his feet were firmly on the ground now, and in boots at that. Wearily, the ghost wiped some of the vomit from his fangs before looking at his claws. His talons were gone entirely. In their place were a set hands.

“Nonono….this can’t be,” the ghost wheezed.

Swallowing hard, he ran as quickly as he could to the nearest puddle. The illumination of the moon showed him his reflection in the water, and he nearly screamed when he saw it. Staring back at him…was the Prince of the Subcon Kingdom.

His power, it was…gone.

He was no longer a fanged, lengthy monster. No…he simply looked like a man now. A dark ,lavender man, with a cracked crown atop his head.

#snatcher #the snatcher #ahit snatcher #a hat in time snatcher #hat kid #ahit #ahit hat kid #ahit queen vanessa #ahit cooking cat #cooking cat #a hat in time #a hat in time prince #my writing #her cookies were to die for

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Listen To Your Body Tonight (Biadore) - Tanawrites

Summary - (belatedly) written for the Summer Lovin’ challenge for the prompt ice cream. Roy is always there when Danny needs him to be.

A/N - This is a super late contribution to the challenge but I’ve had it half-written for about a month now and I finally finished it! tw for mentions of depression and one brief mention of an eating disorder at the very end of the fic.

CC: @writethehousedown

The first thing Danny noticed when Adore finally won over Bianca and they truly became friends, was that Roy was fiercely loyal. It later translated into protective - both of Roy himself and the small selection of people who were close to him. It was an endless comfort for Danny to know he had a friend who was so unwaveringly in his corner.

It had never felt stifling, never that Roy crossed the boundary into possessive rather than protective. Just that he had someone, even in the moments when Danny didn’t think he needed anybody.

When Danny left All Stars, he didn’t call Roy. There was a whole track record that logically told Danny that Roy would understand, would be on his side and that Bianca had told off enough of their fellow queens that spoke down to Adore to know that Michelle Visage would be no exception to the onslaught of hate as well. Despite that, a voice in his head told him that Roy would be disappointed. That the few weeks they’d spent preparing, the money Roy had generously poured into making custom designs for Adore without a thought of Danny paying him back, it was for nothing. He was forever grateful that his mom had known better and called Roy, who held him and without knowing any of the rest of the story, told him just how much he belonged and didn’t stop until Danny believed it too.

It was like that all the time for them. One of them needed the other and they were there, no questions asked.

This time though, they hadn’t spoken in a while. Longer than they usually went without talking but they’d both been busy, rarely in the same city when they happened to be in the same country. Their groupchat had died down, only used for big occasions like holidays or birthdays rather than the constant chatter it once was. Despite this, Danny knew he could call Roy. That even across the globe Roy had woken up in the middle of the night or answered his call during the intermission to talk him down.

It was a stubbornness that stopped him though. Knowing that he should be able to deal with this himself, to pull himself out of the rut he was in. So he secluded himself, from his roommates, his friends, his family. Instead of finding comfort in the warm body of one of his fans at a show or at the bottom of an empty glass, he locked himself away from the world.

Roy thanked his driver and got out the car, slinging the bag he’d packed in a hurry over his shoulder. It was a familiar front door he rapped his knuckles against, despite how many times he’d been told to let himself in.

His chest clenched in a way it only did for someone who he truly cared about when the door opened and there stood Danny’s mom. Bonnie looked tired. For a woman who usually had personality and warmth oozing out of her, it pained Roy to see her like this.

“Thank you for coming, I’m so sorry to call you like I did. God Bianca, I just didn’t know what to do-“

“Hey, stop. It’s good to see you.”

Roy hushed the woman politely but firmly. He stepped forward for their usual greeting hug and let Bonnie pull him inside once they drew away.

“You know you can always call. He knows he can too.”

“He won’t talk at all. He just came home and said he needed to be alone for a while.”

Bonnie shook her head as they came to a stop in the kitchen, their voices hushed as they came closer to the hallway. The same hallway Roy was practically aching to rush down and into a familiar bedroom. He knew he had to hear Bonnie out first, to get whatever information he could so he knew what to do to help.

Danny needed him.

It wasn’t the first time Bonnie had called Bianca and it certainly wasn’t the first time Danny had tried to hide the fact that he was struggling by hiding out in his childhood bedroom and avoiding the outside world.

It always broke Roy’s heart to see Bonnie like this no matter how many times he’d seen it, the love between mother and son so strong to anyone who met them. What was important was that Bonnie knew that Danny didn’t mean to shut her out. The same way he didn’t mean to shut Roy out. He was hurting and didn’t know how to cope with it, so he didn’t. Roy knew to be grateful though that healing now took place in the safety of his Azusa family home rather than an alley behind a club or a dirty bathroom like it had so many times when they were on tour.

“I wish his problems were still simple enough that it was solved with a tub of ice cream.”

Roy let his hand reach across to rest on top of Bonnie’s as she reminisced, waiting until she squeezed back.

“He mentioned you the first day he got back, that you were home from tour. I offered to call you then but he said he just needed a few days.”

“But it’s been more than a few days now. It’s ok, Bonnie. I’m glad you called.”

“I’ll give you guys a few hours, I have to go to run a few errands but…I haven’t wanted to leave him home alone.”

It was with a heavy heart that Roy nodded, knowing many years ago he had promised Bonnie to take care of Danny and that she still trusted him with that.

With that he watched as Bonnie let herself out and took a steadying breath, braced against the kitchen bench. Roy would always be there when Danny needed him. Even if Bonnie had called and he was on the other side of the world, he would have figured something out. It was hard though, seeing someone he loved so much in pieces.

Roy didn’t want to waste anymore time, not when he didn’t know what to expect behind the bedroom door at the end of the hallway, so he tightened his grip on the strap of his bag and walked the short distance to come to a stop at Danny’s room.

He knocked once on the door before pushing it open.

“Adore?”

As expected, the room was pitch black except for the light streaming in from the hallway where he was standing in the doorway. Danny’s head didn’t lift from the pillow but as Roy pushed further into the room and heard the heavy sigh that answered him, he knew Danny was awake.

“I missed you too, bitch.”

Roy’s lips curled into a small smile as he heard the responding grunt from Danny. He closed the door behind him again and cautiously moved forward, blindly feeling around until he could flick the lamp on beside the bed. Once the room was dim and he could see the outline of Danny under all the covers, he let his bag fall to the ground and he perched on the edge of the bed.

“Let me see your face, it’s been too long and you don’t post enough pictures.”

“Just because you don’t know how to use your phone, grandpa.”

Not expecting the quip back, Roy scoffed but underneath it was a resounding sense of relief. He usually took longer to feel out the situation before pushing Danny. If there was something he prided himself on, it was being a somewhat expert on Danny - both emotionally and physically. It could be magnetic between them sometimes, knowing exactly when they needed the warmth of touch or the intimacy of a hushed conversation meant only for the other’s ears.

Despite the joke, Roy could hear the guttural tone in Danny’s voice and the underlying exhaustion and emotion under it. He was reminded of why he was here and that Danny was struggling.

It only took a gentle coax to get Danny to roll over, Roy reaching to brush some hair out of his eyes. He stopped the motion when Danny pushed his cheek further into his palm though, instead simply resting there as he took in the circles under Danny’s eyes, the hollowness of his cheeks.

“There you are.”

A humourless laugh was the start of Danny beginning to crack and Roy was ready to catch him. He was about to say something, to comment on the self-deprecating laugh that was usually his own forte but Danny spoke first.

“This is so stupid…so dumb. I don’t even know what’s wrong I just-”

It was a sob that cut Danny off this time and Roy was there to meet him when Danny leaned forward, falling into a messy embrace.

“Do you ever get sick of always putting me back together?”

Roy was in the middle of untangling the matted mess that Danny’s long hair had succumbed to after a few weeks without brushing it when Danny broke the comfortable silence they had fallen into.

It had taken a long time for Danny’s tears to slow, Roy patient and tender with steady hands holding Danny close. They had talked as well, as much as Danny could through getting worked up again. Nothing could be fixed with a single conversation but it was a starting point for Danny to arrange his thoughts. Roy’s next task was helping him feel better physically, recognising the all too familiar signs of Danny not taking care of himself.

“Do you get sick of doing it for me?”

Despite being taken off guard by the question, Roy didn’t hesitate in answering it with a question of his own.

It was something that had only come up once in all their years of friendship, in a much different situation than where they were now. It was almost a hazy memory of Bianca supporting almost the full weight of Adore on their way back to the hotel room, Adore more inebriated than Bianca had seen yet and worse than that, sobbing. Loud, guttural sobs that racked Adore’s whole frame and gasping between them why Bianca did this for her. Why Bianca would clean her up, stumble them both into the shower and stroked Adore’s hair while she was slouched over. Why Bianca would open her door at any hour. Why Bianca didn’t ask for any explanation the next morning about what or who Adore was doing or even why.

“What? I’ve…no, you’re never like this.”

Roy shook his head, letting the hairbrush rest against his thigh and waiting until Danny turned to face him.

“No, I’m not,” Roy agreed. “But you’re the reason I try to be home for holidays. You’re the one I call when I can’t fall asleep in a hotel room or the one who comes over when I’ve been away too long and can’t fall asleep in my own bed. You remind me that I’m still human and that Bianca and working isn’t always everything.”

Danny seemed to be mulling it over, Roy could practically hear the argument he was having in his own head. The voice of reason and the other voice, the one that tore Danny down and dragged him into this dark place to begin with. This is what he was here for, to be a steady foundation for Danny to lean on.

Danny had always been a disaster just waiting to happen, eyes that had seen too many bad mistakes and heart strained from all the burdens too heavy to carry. He was entirely too much and wanted for more than he could handle. But Danny would never have to beg Roy to love him. Not ever. Roy was already there. Willing and offering up anything he had to give, love at the very top of the list.

“I mean it. We take care of each other, it doesn’t have to be in the same way.”

Danny softened after hearing that, giving Roy a nod to show he agreed. Danny wasn’t always the best with words in moments like this, his thoughts getting lost in the commute from his brain to his lips and never coming out as articulate as he meant them but the way Danny looked at him sometimes, was everything Roy needed to understand.

Roy had coaxed Danny into taking a shower and done a customary tidy of the bedroom, changed the sheets and remade the bed. Danny looked embarrassed when he came back to see Roy straightening the pillows with new covers but Roy was quick to shake his head.

“Remember when I got so drunk that one Christmas Eve and tried to sleep in the dogs playpen?”

Danny faltered for a moment but as the memory came back to him, a grin slowly spread across his lips.

“And you had to wash both the dog beds, my bed sheets and we both ended up sleeping on the couch with a throw blanket?”

Another nod and Roy knew he didn’t have to continue anymore, that his point was made. They’d been friends for years and the thing about touring together, about spending as much time as they could together between their own tours once their careers took off, was that they’d already seen each other’s worst. Then when they discovered there was an even worse worst, they dealt with that too.

He never minded having to remind Danny of this - that no one was keeping score and that putting the pieces back together always worked better with two instead of one. It was a vulnerable place to be, baring all the times Roy had been at his low points to assure Danny that he was no less for his own but that was the difference for them. Vulnerable didn’t ever mean weak.

“Come on, I have an idea.”

Half an hour later, Roy had them both set up on the couch in the front room. The TV was playing some trashy, mindless reality show that he knew Danny loved and they were bundled in amongst cushions and a throw blanket over both their laps. He’d been fussy around, adjusting the cushions and was about to head back into Danny’s bedroom to grab another blanket when Danny grabbed his hand.

“Will you just sit down, willow?”

Roy didn’t know if it was the nickname or the firm, caring reprimand that was clearly a call for him to relax but he sat down. He let Danny tuck comfortably into his side, a hand coming up to run through the long strands of Danny’s hair and exhaled. Things weren’t perfect but Danny would be ok and Roy felt like he could breathe again.

When the front door opened a few episodes in, the calm air that had settled around them trembled as Bonnie came into view with a grocery bag in each hand.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

Danny’s voice was small but rang volumes with how thick with guilt it was. Bonnie’s concern seemed to lessen somehow, recognising the truth in the statement and more importantly, her son again.

Roy felt like he was intruding on a private moment when Bonnie sat on Danny’s other side and pulled him into a tight hug. He was just pulling back to stand up to leave the room discreetly when he felt a tug on his shirt and Bonnie was pulling him in as well.

She was laughing as she pulled away, fanning at her eyes that were shining with a thin layer of tears that mirrored Danny’s.

“You always come back eventually.”

She patted Danny’s cheek and mouthed a silent thank you to Roy as she took her groceries to the kitchen and took what Roy assumed was a quiet moment to herself, waving off both his and Danny’s offer to help her.

Roy knew exactly why a few minutes later when Bonnie returned with two pints of ice cream and spoons clasped in her hand, a reserved expression on her face.

“I thought you two could use some ice cream.”

He could hear the refusal Danny’s brain was already conducting, the extra weight Danny was now carrying around his hips was something they had discussed earlier that was adding to the burden that had dug Danny into this hole.

“That sounds great, Bonnie. But I can never finish a full pint, me and Dan will share one.”

Danny glanced back at him and Roy returned the questioning look with a smile as he shifted over on the couch, leaving enough room for Bonnie to properly sit next to Danny.

“You’re going to have to catch your mom up though, I haven’t been really watching.”

Danny hitting him with a cushion in response was expected but soon they were all settled. Roy and Danny were alternating spoonfuls of ice cream and Bonnie was running a commentary that had Roy almost in hysterical chuckles, it was like a weight lifted off all of their shoulders.

Nothing was fixed but a pint of ice cream on the couch with his best friend and his mom was helping more than Danny thought it ever could.

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #biadore #angst #hurt/comfort #canon compliant #tanawrites #tw eating disorder #tw depression #concrit welcome #wthd challenge

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shittyfandomimagines · 5 years

Text

We Lost Us

Decided to make it a short series so this is just a “filler”

Word count: 1,282

Tag-list (sorry if I missed anyone): @peacedolantwins2

@van-horn-dashner

@cafe-sabor-a-chocolate-

@shawnmendes048

@laggyphone

@my-sweet-escape-from-the-world

@miclarodeluna

@jaysgotabadrep

@fanatic-af

I woke up quickly like someone who had a bad nightmare, except instead of being able to move, I was completely frozen. I had no way to move, it felt like my body was stuck to a bed.

“Ms. L/n, please stay still, we’re trying to help you. You were in a bad car wreck.” A nurse had leaned over to be in the view of my eyes, I felt my heart rate pick up as I remembered the last thing that happened.

I had heard the squealing of the tire but when I looked up I knew I was on the right side of the road, but I was still hit. I remember my head hitting the steering wheel. Oh fuck! My mom, my mom is waiting on me. No no. She’s all I have left, I hardly had friends and now I’m going fucking die all alone.

“Someone give her 1 CC of alprazolam, she needs to calm down. Her heart rate is too high.” I heard another nurse yell, soon a face was hovering back over mine. She had a flashlight as she checked my eyes, her face contorted some.

“Left eye is slow to reaction, someone page neurology now and tell the lab we’re coming!” The same nurse yelled, I tried to read her name tag but it was too blurry. I wanted to use my words but I felt like my head was too weak to make words. “She has a severely dislocated hip and ankle is too swollen. The hip can be relocated but the foots pulse is thready, we need x-rays now to see how bad it is before she loses it.” A different nurse says as I’m being pushed forcefully through the halls.

I started to feel droopy again, this time the pain was slowly fading, it must’ve been whatever the hell they used earlier. “You’ve gotta fight for me y/n, I called your mom and you’ve got to fight for her too.” The same nurse leaned down next to my ear, and for the first time, I felt the need to survive.

—-

I groaned as I tried to sit up but a hand pushed me down gently, I opened my eyes slowly to see my mom standing there with tears in her eyes. I wanted to talk but I felt like my mouth was full of cotton. I tapped my lips to indicate I needed water, she understood before pouring some from the pitcher on the portable table.

I sipped it slowly, my throat aching horribly. “Mommy,” I cried for the first time and she held me tightly, well not too tight. “Baby, I was scared to death. I was sitting in the chair when the nurse came running back, Dianne, our favorite. She made me finish my dialysis before I could even come to check on my baby girl.” She cried into my shoulder and I couldn’t wrap my arms around her any tighter, my body felt like jelly.

“I’m sorry mom.” I rested my head on her shoulder, feeling wires pressing between us two. “Hey it’s not your fault, the police stopped by and said the other driver was under the influence, it wasn’t your fault at all. No one died or anything.

You had pressure on your brain but they were able to use medicines to help. The wires are to monitor it, then you shattered your right ankle from trying to slam on the brake. They performed emergency surgery to fix the smaller pieces but there’s a splint on to heal the bigger bones.” She explained everything that had happened and I nodded.

“How long ago was the wreck?” The way she spoke about it made it seem like it was a while back. “Well, it’s been a few days now, the best part is that the media has no clue. You don’t have to worry about all the questions, no Shawn either.” She knew all about him, I tell her every single thing that happens in my life.

“Good, I don’t want him acting all buddy-buddy after we haven’t spoken,” I say as I settle back into the uncomfortable bed. I started to feel tired again and my mom could tell, so she stood up from the bed.

“Is it okay if I go get some clothes from home while you sleep?” She asks and I nod. “Go ahead, I’ll be fine.” I smile gently.

——

I felt the tug at my arm, expecting it to be my mom back from her house. I opened my eyes slowly to be faced with Shawn, my heart rate picking up quickly. I saw the tears in his eyes, the other hand that wasn’t on me was shaking with nerves.

“What are you doing here?” My voice snapped into Shawn’s own world. “Well, your mom was called into work and they had no one else, so she asked me to make sure you had a familiar face to wake up to.” He nervously explained. Did it have to be him? Mom is back to playing matchmaker again.

“Okay.” I moved my arm out of his grip.

“What happened to us? You’ve never acted this way to me.”

“Shawn, there was no point in us being friends anymore. You only hung out with me when Abigail was working, but when I needed you she did too. You chose your girlfriend, which is fine, but that used to be me. You told me the day that you two officially started dating that you wouldn’t get rid of me. Too late.”

“I never got rid of you! Yeah I didn’t have time for us but you’re still my best friend, you were the one who left. Who unfollowed me on Instagram and removed me from Snapchat. Blocked my number from your phone! You got rid of me because you didn’t confront this.”

I shook my head at his testimony, it made me want to laugh. Couldn’t he tell there was a reason I had to leave? I was the one being ignored so I might as well fucking leave it behind if nothing comes out of it.

“You gave me no reason to stay? There was no point in our friendship if you ignore me anyways. Blocking you didn’t change anything from the past 5 months.”

“You’re willing to give up 8 years of friendship because of it?”

“I didn’t want to lose you but there was no other option. I’d keep you in my life forever but there are restraints, no reason to press it further.”

My head started hurting, I felt like the back of my neck was on fire. My stomach started to hurt and I felt like I could vomit.

“You look as white as a ghost, fuck.”

“I don’t feel so good.” I reached over to grab the vomit bag, puking inside of it.

Shawn was rapidly pushing the nurse button, when they answered he explained what happened.

They came in as quickly as they could, checking my eyes and fever. They pulled the huge stand where the monitors on my head were connected to. “She has an elevated blood pressure so it’s affecting the ICP. Someone give her 3 CC’s of acetazolamide.” One nurse yelled and I sunk back into my bed.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” I heard Shawn’s voice and I nodded, I started to feel a little loopy as their medicine entered my bloodstream, if I had to guess, they’re trying to make me sleep through it.

“Y/n you’re going to sleep for a bit, your pressure is back up and we need to let your brain rest.”

“Oh, oka-“

#shawn mendes #shawnmendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes masterlist #shawnmendesblurbs #shawnmendesimagines #shawnmendesmasterlist #shawn mendes writing #shawnmendeswriting #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes series #shawnmendesfluff #shawnmendeseries #shawnmendesangst

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underthewingsofthblackeagle · 5 years

Text

The Murderess of the Grunewald (20): Secret Whitsun Holidays on Rügen (9): Sharing Joy and Suffering (6b)

“Kreidefelsen Rügen” / ”Chalk Cliffs of Rügen” by tlemens

Previously

Sunday night, Pentecost 2020, two days after Claire's release from prison

The afternoon had passed by in flight. After settling on the old tree trunk, Claire wanted to let Bismarck off the leash. But Jamie held her back.

"That's not possible, Claire."

"Why not? He does not run away from us here! "

"No, but it is forbidden to let dogs run free in a national park or in a nature reserve."

"German laws," she sighed.

"Yes, German laws," he sighed mockingly. Both started to laugh loud and heartily. Bismarck, who had been looking back and forth between them during the brief conversation, joined in yapping. Then he tried to jump onto the tree trunk where Claire and Jamie were sitting. But the trunk was round and smooth and so he slipped off again and again. Finally, Claire took pity on him. She picked him up and put him next to her. Meanwhile, Jamie had unpacked two large bottles of water from his backpack. The sandwiches they had bought at the fish market at the port of Lohme followed. Bismarck did not immediately see the rolls, but he smelled them and of course, he was no longer in his place. He jumped down from the trunk on which he eagerly had wanted to sit a few minutes ago. With a look that left no doubt that he had not received a single meal for weeks and was near starvation, he sat down right in front of his master's feet.

"The fish on this sandwich is called Bismarck herring," Jamie said, "but that does not mean it's your sandwich."

He held another sandwich in Claire's direction and looked at her questioningly. She nodded to him and took it. With the words:

"Ok, time to feed the predator!"

Jamie grabbed the backpack again and got another, but smaller, water bottle out of it. He put a drinking device for animals on it and let Bismarck drink. Then he took a bag of dry dog food from the backpack and put it down in front of the pet. It only took a few moments for Bismarck to finish his meal. Jamie let him drink again, then grabbed his sandwich and began to eat. Bismarck made another attempt to get some of Jamie's lunch, but one look from his master was enough. The dog trotted back to Claire's side and lay down at her feet. Maybe this human had a little more compassion for a starving dog and if she did not give him anything voluntarily, maybe some crumbs would accidentally fall to the ground ... But nothing happened. When both had eaten the first sandwich and drank again, Jamie took two more sandwiches out of the backpack. Bismarck watched the scene closely. Jamie finished his second sandwich with only some big bites, but none of it had fallen off for him. Claire chewed slower and took longer for the second part of her lunch. As Jamie closed his eyes and stretched out to the sun, she quickly tore off a bit of the sandwich and dropped it right in front of Bismarck's snout. Only seconds later, the piece of bread - on which to Bismarck's joy was even left a little butter and a scrap of egg - had disappeared in his long snout.

"Claire?" Jamie asked in a tone that reminded her of the character of a strict teacher in a 1950s film.

"Yes, Dr. Fraser?" she asked, putting as much innocence in the tone of her voice as possible.

Jamie opened his eyes and looked at her:

"If you secretly feed the dog, then you should stop it from smacking. He reveals himself and you."

"Dr. Fraser, do you remember? You are my lawyer, not my prosecutor."

He did not answer, but pulled her close and kissed her. Claire took Bismarck and put him back on the log next to her. Then they all reached out to the sun and enjoyed the gentle breeze of the sea.

“Hühnergott (adder stone), Fundort: Unterhalb des Königsstuhls, Insel Rügen (found on location underneath the “King’s Seat” at the island of Rügen)” byCharlie1965nrw at the German language Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)]

An hour later they started their way back. As they walked along the beach, Claire collected a number of little things. At first, there were adder stones, then little colorful pebbles. Bismarck, who ran before her, danced around her every time she stopped for a new find. He would have liked to sniff out every part that caught her attention. Claire would have liked to know what the little black guy was thinking in those moments. Most likely, she would never know. But one thing was obvious: Bismarck seemed very sympathetic to her behavior. Maybe he saw in her curiosity and in her "hunting instinct" a small affinity? Each time Claire's hands were full, Jamie had to turn his back so she could pack her newly found treasures, which included more and more shells, into the backpack. When she came back for the first time with some small stones that looked like amber, he held her back.

“Bernstein * Ostseeküste” / “Amber * Baltic Sea” by mixmax9999

"Claire! No! Do not do that! You can not just put that in the backpack!"

"Why can’t I have this? It's amber! Or is there a strange German law speaking against it?" she asked startled and slightly annoyed.

"You can take it with you, of course, but you have to put it in the metal box, which is in the outermost compartment of the backpack."

"Why?"

She looked at him blankly.

"Because it could also be White Phosphorus."

"White Phosphorus? But this stone is yellowish, almost brownish!"

"Yes, but when White Phosphorus weathers, it also takes on those colors and then looks a bit like Bernstein."

Jamie had put the backpack down and taken a metal box from the outermost pocket. He opened it and held it out to Claire. She put in the brown and yellowish stones she had collected. Once again she looked at him questioningly:

"I don’t understand. Why should it be here on the beach ... "

"That has something to do with the last war. On the island of Usedom, two hours by car east of here, during the last war, there was a so-called 'experimental station of the army'. It belonged to the German Wehrmacht and was under the command of the chief of the rocket department in the Army Weapons Department, a major general named Walter Dornberger. The technical management was in the hands of Wernher von Braun. I’m sure, you have heard of him before. After the war, the Americans resettled him and 120 other German specialists who worked there to the United States. His work and that of the other specialists became the basis for the later US missile and space program."

Claire's eyes widened and Jamie took this as an indication that she was interested in more information.

"British Attack Plan for Operation Hydra" Extracts from the account of the raid on Peenemunde on 17 - 18 August 1943 by Captain John Searby, the Master Bomber on the raid. (AIR 20/4040) Operation Hydra, the raid on Peenemünde. Targets shown are: Experimental station B: Factory workshops C: Power plant D: Unidentified machinery E: Experimental facilities F: Sleeping and living quarters G: Airfield * by RAF photographer [public domain] via Wikimedia

"In the military complex Peenemünde on Usedom the first functional large rocket with the name 'Aggregat 4' was developed and tested. After World War I, the Treaty of Versailles forbade Germany the construction of large canons. However, it said nothing about rockets. So they developed and built them. And von Braun succeeded in what no other human had done before. On October 3, 1942, the ballistic missile he developed completed its first successful flight, making it the first man-made object to penetrate into the outer space. That's why Peenemünde on Usedom is also known as the ‘birthplace of space travel'. The Nazis used the rocket, which they later called V2, as a so-called retaliatory weapon against Great Britain. They bombarded London and targets in southern England. Towards the end of the war, they also attacked Antwerp and Liege. On the night from the 17th to the 18th August 1943, Britain then launched the 'Operation Hydra'. Their air force bombarded Peenemünde with phosphorus bombs. At that time, an estimated 4,000 bombs were dropped. But not all bombs hit their targets ashore during this operation. Many landed in the waters of the Baltic Sea. Since then, they are corroding in the salt water. And in doing so, they release their contents, the dangerous White Phosphorus. But that's not all. After the end of the war, the Allies also decided that 85 percent of chemical weapons found in Germany should be sunk in the sea. Some time ago I saw an interview with an expert from the explosive ordnance clearance service on television. He said that it is estimated that up to 1.3 million tons of phosphorus-containing munitions are at the bottom of the North Sea and 300,000 tons in the Baltic Sea. As said, these weapons corrode and release their deadly cargo. Like amber, White Phosphorus has a low density. That's why it is flushed on the coast with the flow like amber. Here it settles down like amber, shells, adder stones or thunderbolts. White Phosphorus is highly toxic. Only 50 mg is enough to poison a human with deadly results. However, it takes a few days for that to take effect. But that is not the only danger emanating from it. Normally, it ignites when it is washed ashore at 20° C and then it burns off easily. However, if you accidentally collect White Phosphorus at lower temperatures or if it has just been washed ashore and you let it dry in the pocket of your jacket, for example, it connects with oxygen and begins to burn at a temperature of 1,300° C. You can only fight these flames with sand or a special fire extinguishers. Water is absolutely useless. The phosphorus in the firebombs was also mixed with natural rubber, creating a sticky, burning mixture that can’t be stripped off. It eats through the clothes into the body and burns the flesh down to the bone. In the past few years, there was a growing number of reports that people found old White Phosphorus during walks on the beach instead of amber. They then put the pieces in a jacket or a trouser pocket. But instead of bringing their finds home, they caught fire. Fortunately, some went without injuries. But others suffered severe burns. That's why it makes sense to transport stones that look like amber in a closed container, preferably made of metal. If necessary, you can also throw it away."

"How do you know all that?"

"Well, I've read a few books about the Baltic Sea and its islands. On the other hand, I told you that I'm a junkie when it comes to documentaries."

Claire nodded. They had already talked about Jamie's interest in TV documentaries during their car ride to Rügen.

"Today we have," Jamie looked at his smartphone, "18° C. That's not very cold, but it's still safer if we transport the stones in the metal box."

He opened the box he had taken from his backpack again and held it out to Claire. She nodded and let some more stones she had collected while they were walking and talking slip into it.

“Rügen - Muscheln” / “Rügen - Shells” by Zteven

Then they continued on their way and arrived shortly afterward at the stairs at the 'Kieler Bach'. After a short break, emptying their drinking bottles, they began the ascent. When they got back up on the mainland, they hiked to the bus stop 'Welterbeforum', drove one stop on the bus, and then got on the bus that took them to the parking lot where they had parked their car.

"Well," Jamie asked when they sat down, "do we want to go to dinner somewhere or do you want to go home?"

Claire stretched.

"The day was beautiful, Jamie," she pulled him close and kissed him on the cheek. "But I'm exhausted. Let's go back. Or don’t we have anything to eat at home?"

"Sure," he replied as he started the engine and slowly drove off the parking lot, "lots of food. The whole freezer and the fridge are full."

Fifteen minutes later, they reached their holiday home. Jamie let Claire in first and then he released Bismarck from the transport box. When Claire entered the house, Adso, who had obviously missed her, ran to her meowing. Bismarck, who ran into the house shortly thereafter, was probably not so much missed by Adso. Because he was first touched with the cat's claws and backed away. Claire went to the bathroom to freshen up. When she returned to the living room sometime later, Jamie had already ignited the fire in the fireplace. On the coffee table, some candles were burning, giving a warm glow. Next to them stood a jug of fresh tea and two cups.

"Come here, sit down and rest a little," Jamie said. He came out of the kitchen and had a bowl of biscuits in his hand. Claire poured tea into the cups and handed one to Jamie. She drank and then grabbed some biscuits.

"Are you very hungry?" he asked after she had finished the third biscuit and poured tea in his and her cup again.

"Not so much," she replied and her answer was accompanied by a hearty yawn. Slowly, she let herself glide from the vertical to the horizontal and thus to the comfortable couch. Adso, who had already left his sleeping place on the windowsill a few minutes earlier and had sat down next to the coffee table, watched her attentively.

"What would do you say," Jamie asked, "if I let you rest a little while I'm taking care of our dinner?"

"I would say that's a very good idea, Dr. Fraser. But ..."

"But?"

"But I feel a little guilty. All the time you do something for me and I just lay here lazy ..."

"Claire," he said softly as he gently stroked her hair, "you have gone through six exhausting months ..."

"Says the man who worked for me six months around the clock," she answered, rolling her eyes.

"That was my job and I got paid for it."

"Ok, Dr. Fraser. The victory in the case of 'Fraser against the conscience of Claire Beauchamp' goes to you as well. I'm just too exhausted to engage in a legal discussion."

"Good," he said with a smile. Then he got up, covered Claire with a light blanket, and headed for the kitchen. He passed Bismarck lying on his large beige dog cushion. The animal had its legs stretched out and snored audibly. Jamie smiled. The little greedy fur monster was too exhausted to follow him into the kitchen. As he quietly closed the kitchen door, Adso crept out from under the coffee table and sprang onto the sofa, slipping under the blanket at Claire's feet.

An hour later, Claire woke up. On the way to the bathroom, she saw that the dining table was already set. As she passed the kitchen door, she heard Jamie hum. She could not tell what song it was. As always, he hummed completely free of all musicality. But in her mind's eye, she could see him smiling, and once again she wondered how this man had saved himself such humor tough the many battles that his professional life had brought upon him as she had observed first hand.

One hour later, minestrone and lasagna were eaten, the table cleared and the dishes stored in the dishwasher. Claire had taken a shower while Jamie and Bismarck went for a little evening walk. Afterwards, she had put herself in pajamas and dressing gown in front of the fireplace. Adso, who had been waiting for his chance, was walking slowly towards her and then lay down on the floor right in front of Claire. The request: "Pat me!" was obvious. When Jamie, also in pajamas and dressing gown, came out of the bathroom, Claire didn’t look at him. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her. As he tried to brush a strand of her hair behind the ear, he saw it: A trickle of tears made its way down her cheeks. ��Claire, mo chridhe,” he asked concerned, “what has happened?”

She looked at him, her eyes red and full of tears, unable to say a word. So he took her in his arms and rocked her softly at his chest. Later, he would not be able to say how long he had held her in his arms, stroked gently over her back and hair, whispering reassuring words in Gaelic. But it seemed to him like a little eternity. When she broke away from him and looked at him, she tried to say something, but she could only sob and again a stream of hot tears poured down her face. Carefully, Jamie dried her face with the hem of his dressing gown. Bismarck had come running when Claire started to cry. He had looked at her with wide eyes and then carefully teased her knee with his long nose. When she saw him, she started to sob again. Jamie looked at the dog and then pointed it back to his dog pillow with one hand. The animal went away but lay down on the big cushions so that he could keep an eye on what was happening in front of the fireplace. Jamie had noticed that the little body was tense. Bismarck would immediately be ready to jump up and run back to Claire to console or defend her. But as much as the dog's reaction pleased him, now it was time to focus solely on Claire. When she looked at him again, she seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"Jamie," she began, her voice still uncertain, "it was such a wonderful day. I enjoyed every minute, every moment with you. But tomorrow we have to go back and ... I'm scared ... afraid that this is just a nice dream that will burst like a bubble when we get back to Berlin."

Before he could answer, she went on:

"And I'm scared ... I'm scared that I am not good for you ..."

"What? Who says you are not good enough for me?" he asked in surprise.

"No, I said I'm afraid that I will not do you good. My whole life is like that ... so dysfunctional, so out of order, so in confusion ... your life ... is just the contrary ..."

Jamie laughed out loud and Claire looked at him in surprise.

"Oh, Claire, my life has not always been so and even now not all is in order."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"I think it's time I tell you more about me. But not now. We will do that tomorrow. Now we go to bed and rest. Only one thing I’ll tell you: If you don’t want to go home, that's no problem. I emailed Tessa and asked if we could have the house for the rest of the week, and she said it was okay."

Claire's eyes widened and a little smile became recognizable on her face. Jamie kissed her on her forehead. Then he turned to the coffee table and blew out the candles. Claire had gotten up, but before she knew it, Jamie had taken her into his arms and carried her to the first floor. Bismarck and Adso followed

#Outlander #Outlander fan fiction #TheMurderessoftheGrunewald #Claire Beauchamp #Claire Randall #Claire Fraser #Jamie Fraser #Adso the cat #Bismarck the dachshund #Berlin #Germany #Grunewald #Rügen #Island of Rügen #Crime AU #Modern AU

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iamthinkinglegos · 5 years

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It’s ya boy: Kilroy.

Photo credit: Luis Rubio from Alexandria, VA, USA - Kilroy was here, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3558598

As you can see, Kilroy has visited the World War II memorial in Washington D.C. This iconic drawing answers many questions about itself. Who made this? Kilroy did. Why did he make this? To leave a record of where he was. Where has this fella been? More like, where hasn’t he been? Have you seen the places this graffiti shows up?

But there remain two questions that are not answered by the typical depiction of Kilroy: where did he come from, and where did he go and what was his rhetorical function? Well, I may be the only one asking that latter one, but I digress.

Kilroy: Origins

Kilroy, as we understand him today, came about during the second world war. His exact origins are unknown, but he has an intellectual lineage that can be traced back to 1938 or 1941, depending on which origin story you like more.

The first of his intellectual progenitors is known as Mr. Chad, or just Chad. Chad is a figure whose origins are as shrouded as Kilroy’s. Just like Kilroy, he is a bald (or mostly bald) man peeking over a wall with an abnormally long nose.

Mr. Chad with a version of his catchphrase and a single hair. [source]

There are two prevalent theories on how Chad came into being. The first of them involves a British cartoonist named George Edward Chatterton. Supposedly, Chatterton drew the original back in 1938, and his nickname “Chat” went on to become the name of the drawing “Chad”. [source]

Another story claims that Chad was spawned around the year of 1941 by a lecturer in a school in Gainsborough, Lincolnshire. While illustrating the affect of a capacitor in a circuit, the phrase “wot, no electrons” was added to a portion of the drawing that resembled a face.

[source]

There are other variations on that story, featuring electricians and/or military engineers adding “wot, no ___?” to illustrations like the one above. Unfortunately, none of these stories (at least in my mind) really explains why Chad became used widely amongst the military, especially when one considers that shortages and rationing (the things Chad typically complained about) would have affected civilians approximately as much as it did the military.

Regardless of where it came from, this simple design would go on to become Kilroy’s body. The accompanying phrase, however, is even more difficult to pin down. This is due mostly to the fact that “___ was here” is an extremely generic phrase to find graffitied. . . well anywhere really. Fortunately, there is a probable origin of the phrase! In December of 1946, the New York Times attempted to get to the bottom of the phrase’s origin. After holding an event to determine who came up with Kilroy, they landed on James J. Kilroy, a welding inspector who worked in the Bethlehem Steel shipyard in Quincy, Massachusetts. Welding inspectors used a small chalk mark to approve a piece of work. But, that was easily erased by welders so they might be paid twice for their work. Purportedly, Mr. Kilroy decided to mark his inspections with the phrase “Kilroy was here” with a material that was more difficult to erase. This lead to the phrase being discovered in sealed spaces on ships, the kind of spaces that no one had been before. That lead to a competition among US airmen to reach obscure and otherwise out-of-the-way locations before Kilroy could. [source]

Another theory involves a Sergeant Francis J. Kilroy Jr. In this story, Sgt. Francis wrote “Kilroy will be here next week” on a barracks builtin board, to inform his fellows of his imminent return after a run in with the flu. This prompted the phrase to be picked up and spread by other US airmen. [source]

The common nature of the phrase “Kilroy was here” combined with the easily recreated drawing known as “Mr. Chad” and gave birth to a graffiti phenomenon that lasted for decades.

Now before I move on I want to give an honorable mention to Australia’s “Foo was here”. Foo was a graffiti character in much the same vein as Chad and Kilroy. He was also a head that tended to peek over walls, though his nose was of a much more reasonable size. Foo was accompanied by the phrase “Foo was here”. Unlike Kilroy and Chad, Foo dates all the way back to the first world war, and was a creation that followed the First Australian Imperial Force. Foo evolved over the years and by the time WWII came around he was depicted as a gremlin or a devil often within (or having escaped from) a cage. It is also worth noting that unlike the previous stories, there is nothing that can directly tie Foo to Kilroy or Chad. [source]

Kilroy: Functions

Kilroy had many functions over the years. He let military servicemen know where their comrades had been before. Hiding his visage in the most obscure of locations must have been a humorous pastime for some people. But the function of Kilroy that I wish to discuss is his use as a panopticon.

First things first though. What the hell is a panopticon? Without getting too far into it, the concept of a panopticon is this: an object, person, or event that instills in its viewer a sense of being watched, typically in such a way that they mediate or otherwise alter their own actions. A simple example would be a teacher when their students are taking a test. The mere presence of a teacher may be enough to prevent people from attempting to cheat. The implication of authority is also important to panopticons, if you know your best friend is watching you, you likely wouldn’t alter your behavior too much, if at all; if you know a police officer is watching you, you may be less inclined to smoke weed, go over the speed limit, or even jaywalk. If you wish to go a bit more in depth on panopticons you may do so here.

Allow me to start this part by saying that not every Kilroy is a panopticon. Even the ones that are, aren’t to every viewer. Simply put, the groups that spread Kilroy’s image need never worry that the he is watching them. To a certain extent, anyone who draws Kilroy is Kilroy. And since the people who drew him are English speaking (mostly US) military servicemen, and the citizenry they serve, anyone outside of those groups observing Kilroy may see the watchful eyes of the US staring at them.

To share an example of dubious authenticity, picture yourself in the year of 1945. Germany has surrendered and you and the Allied leaders, Churchill and Truman, are going to decide the fate of Germany (after the Krauts started and lost their second world war). As you may have already guessed, you are Stalin: the leader of the Russian people and a ruthless dictator. You have arrived in Potsdam, and are ready to discuss terms with your allies. Upon arriving, you are given a brief tour of the facilities from which you will negotiate. Your guide finally arrives at the grand VIP bathroom, an opulent room befitting one of your status. The guide encourages you to go in without him, for even he is not allowed inside. You take a moment to relieve yourself; the journey here was a long one. You return to the guide and complete the tour. Hours pass. You have completed the first round of talks with your allies, and all the water you drank to sooth your parched throat has come back to haunt you. You return to the bathroom you visited previously in the day, and use the exact same toilet you used last time. As the tight squeeze on your bladder lifts, you notice something that wasn’t there before. A small man with a large nose is peeking at you from over a wall, with the English phrase “Kilroy was here” written next to him. Your knowledge of the English language is limited, but you know enough to say with certainty that an English speaking individual named Kilroy had been in your VIP bathroom. Fury clouds your mind as you somehow manage to keep everything in the toilet bowl. If Kilroy had been here, where only you and the two other VIPs were allowed, where else could this man have been? What else could he have seen? As you leave the bathroom, you use the time spent washing your hands to calm your mind. Perhaps this was someone your aides know about. You return to the conference room, where the translator for the English speakers still resides. Your presence brings your aides to full attention, and you ask them (in Russian) “Who is Kilroy?”. [source, take it with a grain of salt] [also, here is a source that says Stalin had a decent grasp on the English language]

That dramatization of events that may or may not have happened illustrates Kilroy’s use as a panopticon. Once Stalin got context on who Kilroy was, he may have concluded that his actions at Potsdam had more spectators than he anticipated. Which may have then lead him to acting differently than he would have otherwise. Even if it didn’t happen, the fact that it is a story that was told speaks to how others could see his use as a panopticon.

Another story that is even less likely to be true is one involving Hitler. Allegedly German soldiers had found the phrase “Kilroy was here” written on captured US equipment. Hitler, in his infinite paranoia, decided that it could be the name of an American spy. [”source”]

Whether or not either of these stories are true they illustrate how Kilroy is capable of operating as a panopticon.

In conclusion:

We came into this asking hard questions, that kind that couldn’t be answered just by looking at the average depiction of Kilroy. We learned that this iconic piece of American history (probably) came from distinctive British Graffiti, and an American welding inspector. We then briefly considered Foo, before promptly forgetting about him. We finished with Kilroy being more than just a humorous piece of graffiti, and instead saw him act as the eyes of authority: a panopticon. This simple drawing went on to become more than the sum of his parts, and has been immortalized not just on the WWII memorial in Washington D.C., but also in the hearts and souls of all those who carry on his legacy.

#kilroy was here #kilroy #wwii #second world war #til #today i learned

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judenightfell · 5 years

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How do you do your artwork? I want to get into graphic design and I love your style

hi, love! first, thank you so much here’s an example of the graphic designing I’ve done for 7 years)

Illustrations are just drawings, and to get even more specific, there’s regular drawing and then there’s digital drawing, and I currently do everything digital (i could not draw well on a piece of paper to save my life, no clue why)

SO! here’s my process! and keep in mind that this might not be what works for you, or only one or two things will stick, but I think it’s great to give everything a try and see what you like!

NOTE: I use a Wacom Intuos Tablet (small) with the Wacom pen. The program I use is Photoshop CC 2019.

1) Find References Do NOT be afraid or ashamed to use reference photos as you’re starting. I have a pintrest board that I save any and all photos that I will want to use as references for my drawings For example, THIS photo is a reference I used for my Jemma sketch, and funny enough, Cassandra Jean also used this photo for reference in THIS illustration she did that I saw two days after I finished and posted my sketch. So if someone as talented as CJ can use reference photos, you can to!

2) Sketch So now that I have my reference photo(s) I start to sketch. And sometimes you’ll have to sketch over your original sketch to make a hand look normal, or fix an eye, but you can keep working at a sketch until you’re happy! Don’t be afraid to even sketch on top of your reference photos! If you’re just starting out, and have no clue why you can’t get this one damn foot to look right, just sketch it over the reference! It helps you learn how things are shaped, how to draw certain curves, etc, and eventually you’ll understand and have a natural eye for sketching a body! And don’t think your sketch has to look absolutely polished! A sketch is meant to be rough, it’s just an outline of the basic shapes you need. Think of it like an book: the outline of the plot is the sketch, and the actual writing is the inking...which brings me to...

3) Inking When you’re finally happy with your sketch, you can start to ink your lines. “inking” just refers to actually putting down concrete lines in your drawing. This is where you decide if you want that shoulder to be a little higher or a little lower. How I ink my drawings: set my sketch layer to 30% opacity, set my brush size to 15 or 20, set Smoothing to 100. Next to Smoothing, there’s a little gear icon, and I select “Stroke Catch-Up” -- this means that when I start to draw my lines, the actual lines are delayed on screen. This helps A LOT to get those perfect lines in one swipe (of course, you might to do it 20 times before you get it perfect, but that just comes with the territory) and means you won’t have those weird sections you might get if you were drawing, picking up your pen, and going back in to finish the line. (I hope that made sense, here’s a Youtube video I watched when I was starting out that helps explain this concept!) When you’re inking, you might have lines that intersect at corners, but I just erase those when I’m done with the entire inking process, instead of while I’m doing it! ALSO, you do not have to ink every single line in your sketch (I’ll mention this later!) just the important/main ones!

4) Colouring THE FUN PART! I move my sketch and inking layers on top of my layers that I will be using for colouring, so that when I colour, the inked lines cover the edges of the colours (does that make sense???) ANYWAY My style currently is what I call “block colouring.” it means that there really is not shading or “traditional” tonal values or realistic shadows to objects. It’s pretty “flat” except for basic shadows to give some dimension. I start with the base of the skin tone, then base of the hair, the clothes/jewelry, etc. just put the colour down (and runes I just fill in Black). make sure it nice and tight, and the skin colour doesn’t run into the hair or clothes, ya know? Then I go in with a colour just a bit darker than each of the colours in the drawing already. If you’re drawing a white person, shade the skin with a slightly darker pink/peach colour, if it’s a POC, choose shades darker than their tone. This goes for hair, eyes, clothes etc! You might have to look back at your reference photos to know where the shadows are on your person! I shade using my brush set on 100% smoothing, so that the edges are straight as well!

5) Sketching...Again When i’ve finished with colouring, I reapply my sketch layer at full opacity on top of my colouring WITH my inking. you remember how I said you don’t have to ink every single line, just the main ones? Well that’s because you can go back with your sketch layer, erase the sketching of those main lines, so you have the sketching of the smaller lines left! And what I mean by smaller lines is like the sketching on the folds in fabric, or lines in the throat that detail the Adam’s apple. It gives my drawings just a hint of the “rough” style of sketching that I really like!

That’s pretty much my process! I’m sorry if some things didn’t make sense (it’s my first time trying to explain these things) so if you need clarification, don’t hesitate to ask!

wow this was long!

#Anonymous

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unmanageable-day · 5 years

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Merry Go Round

The nickname 'stone face' wasn't earned by Hwang Minhyun for nothing. Yet with such a handsome face, the cold image was still lingering all over him because he was well-known to be very quiet. This didn't stop Jung Yesoo from confessing to him 2 years ago. Standing before Yesoo, who was anxious waiting for his answer, Minhyun still maintained the facial expression that makes everyone reluctant to approach him. But slowly he showed his little smile. Great amount of shyness was unexpectedly oozed from that little smile that slowly got wider. Yes, he accepted her.

Both Minhyun and Yesoo were a shy couple in the first 100 days. It felt like riding a roller coaster for children. No big, scary, nerve racking ups and downs, but the excited feeling was there. Aside from that, Yesoo's friends could tell that she was genuinely happy. A fresh smile was always attached on her face. She barely had a bad day. Because seeing Minhyun itself had become her main source of happiness, although Minhyun didn't talk much or do sweet things to her.

And so the days went on. The ride had changed to merry go round. The happiness was still there, but it just went round and round with constant speed although the view was beautiful. Minhyun still had his usual smile. Yesoo still smiled, yet she felt different. The fond feeling of Minhyun didn't change. Yet she couldn't help thinking that something was a bit off.

Yesoo was too afraid to spill it on Minhyun.

"Chuseok holiday is coming. Do you want to go somewhere?" Yesoo asked. They were enjoying a lunch date in Hongdae. Lunch date is a must on the weekend since that's the only time they have to see each other.

Minhyun nodded. But Yesoo couldn't tell if he was excited, if he was anticipating about it, or maybe if he was at least interested. They were going to one year and 9 months together, and Yesoo couldn't believe herself that she didn't know much about Minhyun. She can't even read his mind or his expression. She wouldn't know if Minhyun probably was the opposite who knows everything about her since he never really talked about it. "Where do you want to go?" he asked back.

"I was thinking about Deukryang Island. But that would be too far, I guess."

"Well, we can make option list."

Yesoo nodded.

After paying the bills, they were ready to go outside when Yesoo almost reached out her arm to hold Minhyun's hand. Suddenly her mind was full of thoughts of her relationship. She just remembered, after all this time, she was the one who did the moves first. Confession, first date, second date, third date, and even holding hands.

"Yesoo?" he called, already several steps ahead.

"Yeah, coming up." She finally grabbed her beloved boyfriend's hand.

~~~~

Yesoo stomped her steps as she finished her work early. Her colleagues already bid her good bye. The time showed that it was only 2 PM. Suddenly it crossed her mind that Minhyun's office was nearby. A visit once in a while would be harmless, right?

She tried to call him but no answer. Her lips pouted as she redialled her phone. This time he picked up, which enlightened her expression.

"Hey, I'm near your office. You know, that cafe across your office building."

"Oh, yeah."

Yesoo's smile slowly faded. She could imagine how Minhyun was on the phone, with his plain, expressionless face, and his attention all over to his computer screen, working on anything he was working on. She continued speaking, "I was thinking if we could meet for a minute, or two. I'm buying you coffee and some snack."

"Sorry, it's not that I don't want to meet you, but work is piling up right now."

The smile was completely gone on her face. She just faked one when talking. "Oh, okay. It's alright. Let's meet once you're not busy."

"Mm-hmm. I'll text you later."

"Sure."

"I'm hanging up."

"Okay." She glanced at the coffee and bread she had bought. Fortunately, she only bought what she liked, so she could have them later.

Meanwhile at the same time, Minhyun who was concentrating on his new project got startled by Jisoo who suddenly popped up out of nowhere. "Was it your girlfriend?" he asked with excitement oozing out of his eyes.

The word 'girlfriend' successfully attracted everyone's attention and they started to cheer. Because who would have a thought that this stone-face actually has a girlfriend?

"What? Hwang Minhyun? Girlfriend?"

"Really? Heol, daebak."

Thanks to Jisoo, now Minhyun couldn't focus on his work.

The chattering went on until his supervisor showed up and joined the crowd. "Your girlfriend is here? Then you should come down and meet her. I suppose you haven't had your lunch break."

"No, Raina noona, it's fine. I'm almost finished."

"Hwang Minhyun, do you want me to turn off your computer this very moment?" Raina bend her body and put her thumb on Minhyun's computer's power button. She didn't seem to play around, especially recalling how eccentric she was. "Then go down this instant. Your work can wait for a while."

"Yes, Ma'am." He quickly stood up before Raina started rambling again, or worse.

Minhyun stopped by in rest room to wash his face. His face and body muscles got stiff from not moving from his workspace. He massaged his wet face before he got tissues to dry it.

His eyes landed at the mirror before him, gazing at his own reflection for a moment. Fair skin, not so thick eyebrows, squinted monolid eyes, fine nose, and thin lips. Not to mention a sharp jaw. Stone face, huh? Well, he always put a serious expression that he never realized. His sense of fashion also matched the 'stone face' concept, as his closet was full of plain black, grey, white or brown colored outfit. Whenever he went out with Yesoo, whose clothes were mostly colorful or have patterns, the contrast of their outfit was very clear.

Before leaving the rest room, he once again took a look at himself who was wearing black shirt and grey trousers. He gave himself some pats on his shoulder and chest, probably to brush off some dust sticking on his clothes.

He dialed Yesoo's number as he speeded up his steps to go after her girlfriend, who he assumed was still in the restaurant she mentioned. Or at least if she had left, she wouldn't be very far. Yesoo not picking up his call finally made him run through emergency stairs from the 5th floor instead of using elevator. He headed to the restaurant across the street right away.

At least Minhyun was right about his girlfriend not leaving the restaurant yet. But who she was with there apparently poked his curiosity.

"Yesoo!" he called her. Yet she didn't even flinch. Minhyun could tell that Yesoo finally recognized him after given signs from her 'friend'.

At last, Yesoo turned her head to where Hui's eyes stopped. An instant smile grew on her face and she immediately got up approaching the tall guy. She reached her arm to link to him. "Did you have lunch? Do you want me to order something for you? Coffee?"

Minhyun, smiling and looking at his girl in the eyes, shook his head. "I'm good. But coffee would be great."

Yesoo smiled back. She escorted him to her seat, where Hui awkwardly waited for his friend to come back. "I'll be right back," she said as she patted Minhyun's back when he sat across Hui. "By the way, this is my friend, Hwitaek, or Hui for short. Hui, this is boyfriend, Minhyun."

Both guys bowed their heads and said hi. Once Yesoo left to the cashier, only awkward silence lingered around them. Thank goodness she didn't go away for long.

"Here's your coffee." She handed the tall cup to Minhyun and took a seat between the guys.

"So, I assume we work in the same building." Hui started conversation when he noticed the same access card hanging on Minhyun's neck.

"Yeah, I'm on the fifth floor."

"Oh, cool. Seonho and Guanlin are there too, right? Anyway, I'm on the second floor."

"Yeah." Minhyun calmly sipped his coffee. Then he didn't say any single word.

Having finished all the food, Hui finally excused himself leaving the couple. Just because. "Anyway.. It's nice to meet you guys, but I have to go back." He continued, "Yesoo, it's great to see you again. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Yesoo nodded, waving her friend a good bye, alongside Minhyun who was bowing to him.

"Yesoo, I think I should go back too."

She pouted. "Already?" She was not usually clingy. But there were times when she wanted to be that clingy girlfriend. She never tried it though. It would be weird if she was being clingy out of the blue, especially to the stone-face guy like Minhyun, who was her own boyfriend, who didn't seem to be able to spoil his own girlfriend. "But I want to stay longer," she mumbled.

"Sorry," he replied. His expression didn't change a bit. "I'll call you later." With that, he got up after patting her head twice. He threw a little smile at her before leaving.

~~~

Fall season was approaching very soon. Yesoo couldn't wait for the falling leaves all over the street. Autumn was Yesoo's favorite season, and Minhyun's too. This year was going to be their second time enjoying autumn together. Last autumn they went to Han river almost every weekend, having a picnic. Sometimes they went for a hike too in nearby mountains.

Yesoo had finished putting her summer clothes in a box after taking out all her autumn clothes. She had spared a few pieces for the last days of summer. Just in time when she had to find her cocktail midi dress and her only one high heels. She was getting ready for accompanying Minhyun to his company dinner, which allowed the workers to bring their plus one. As for Minhyun's case, his colleagues were the one who encouraged him to bring Yesoo. They seemed to be very enthusiastic to meet Hwang Minhyun's girlfriend.

It was rare for Yesoo to attend those fancy events. Her outfits were mostly smart casual. Or just casual. She didn't have much make up kit and tools too. She only had basic skin care, some BB cream or CC cream, foundation, and mascara. And, of course, some lipstick or lip tints. That day was going to be her very first time dolling herself up for Minhyun. By dolling up, it meant that after doing her base, she was just going to add blush and eye shadows using lipstick she had. That should be enough to give some colors.

She decided to leave her hair untied after she tried curling it a little. She brushed her hair with her fingers for the finishing touch. Just in time when Minhyun called, saying he was already in the apartment lobby. She quickly put on her heels and grabbed a coat lying on the couch.

Minhyun greeted with a warm smile. Without words they just set off and headed to the dinner venue. As usual, there were not much conversation on the road. Yesoo used to like every moment with Minhyun, including that long silence moment between them. But now, this silence had a different feel. Yesoo couldn't even look at him the way she used to when they were drowned in their own moment of silence. One-hour trip from her apartment to the restaurant felt like one year and somehow it was killing her inside.

Finally they arrived and dropped off Minhyun's car. That Minhyun didn't take Yesoo's hands hadn't changed. Yesoo had to reach his. So she could walk by his side, not behind his back. Wearing their best smiles, they headed straight to the venue and were jolly welcomed by Minhyun's coworkers. They were so delighted to see Minhyun's girlfriend, who they found her a bit odd for having Hwang Minhyun the stone face as boyfriend.

"Yesoo, thank you for today," said Minhyun when they were on their way home.

"It's okay. I had fun. You have nice friends. I'm sure the office environment is good."

"Yeah." Minhyun paused for a quite long time. He pretended to search for songs on the radio. "Actually, there is something I've wanted to say."

As much as Yesoo got flustered, she wouldn't show it. She knew sooner or later this time was going to come. She had no idea what it is he was going to say. But she had feelings. "What is it?" she asked, smiling.

"What do you think about us?"

Still maintaining her smile, she asked back. "What do you mean?" She tried hard to combine words that scattered in her head. "I like us. I like that you are with me the past 2 years." Her voice was getting softer and a little bit shakier, as she continued, "And I wish we can stay together for... more years to come?"

"I see." He looked at Yesoo, who just turned her head and kept her eyes to the front.

"What about you?"

"I..." Minhyun forced a smile. "I like it too."

This time Yesoo forced a smile as well. She knew Minhyun buried his honest feelings deep inside. Although he had his infamous stone-face, she could easily tell that the smile wasn't genuine. Why he wouldn't say it out loud was still a question to Yesoo. Frankly, it bothered her. But she didn't want to push him to tell the truth.

As the time passed, Yesoo's behavior towards Minhyun started to change. She no longer reached her hand to hold his. She no longer asked where they were going to go on weekends. She no longer gave suggestions on where they should go on weekends. She also no longer had that genuine happy smile when with him. The smile she wore mostly was forced. And no one really knew if Minhyun was aware of this. If this continued, fall probably would just pass without any good memories between them.

#kpop fanfiction #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #wannaone scenarios #wannaone imagine #wannaone fanfiction #nuest scenarios #nuest imagines #nuest fanfiction #kpop fanfic #hwang minhyun #nuest minhyun #wannaone minhyun #minhyun imagines #minhyun scenarios #minhyun fanfiction

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intelligentbiscuit · 6 years

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SPEEDPAINT REQUESTS UPDATE 7 [Full Rules Included!] -Currently CLOSED-

Also yes, my watermarks are old on these examples! This set of rules was made before I changed my screen names to IntelligentBiscuit

UPDATE 7

Hello! Just a quick note to say I'll be finishing off requests from the upcoming Thursday and onwards. I'm very sorry it's been so all over the place but switching classes was more of a pain in the ass than I was expecting xD;; I finally have a proper shedule and I'm so pleased! I will be re-opening requests soon so keep coming back to this journa [This Post if you’re on Tumblr] l to see updates

UPDATE! You can now pick between either having a digital piece or a pixel art piece! When you ask for a request please specify which style you would prefer -BASICS- -You can message me via Tumblr as an ask or commenting on this journal to make a suggestion/request, I'll try and get to as many as I can, I do one video per week [unless I randomly decide I want to make two..that's happened before] -Please note I have assignments as I'm in University so if I'm late or miss a day that's the reason, my education is a priority even if it feels like it wants me dead sometimes <---- this is incredibly important! - If you want something specific please send a link to a reference along with your request OCs - preferably a visual reference, a full-body picture would best Colour Palettes/Poses - visual reference and crediting rules [if applicable] Fictional Characters - Visual reference from either animes or cartoons or video games - Also note I have every single right to refuse a request if I am uncomfortable with it, please respect my boundaries everybody has them even yourself, take that into consideration -Please do not push me about requests I haven't done, it's incredibly irritating and causes unwarranted stress +WHAT I WILL DO+ + OCs +Fictional Characters [Anime/Cartoon/Video Games] +Youtubers [Preferably someone I'm familiar with I'm sorry ;; ] +Couples - [OC x OC and OC x CC and CC x CC are all accepted! ] +Mild gore/blood -WHAT I WON'T DO- -NSFW - extreme sexual/violent imagery -Fetish Art -Animals - I'm not great at drawing them and I don't wanna disappoint you -Mechs/ anything heavily machinery based -Hate Art -Complex backgrounds -Complex armour -Generally anything I'm incredibly uncomfortable drawing TYPES OF PEICES I'LL DO

#speedpaint #rules #update

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contradictoryenigmas · 4 years

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2019 Postmortem: 10 Questions

2019 is coming to a close and it’s time to look back via ten questions. If you’re new to this series, I recommend checking out the ones I did in 2017 and 2018. While 2019 had its ups and downs, this was the first year where I can say it worked out quite well.

What made up your body of work this year? Which parts are you most proud of?

Most of the work that made up this year was with my new day job as a car specifications researcher. You may think that researching car specs would be easy, but I wasn’t fully prepared for how in-depth it would go. For example, I have to look up both the liters and cc’s of an engine to input into the system. Nevertheless, a lot of knowledge I had from writing reviews and previews has come in handy when trying to decipher what a company names a certain piece of tech or figuring out where to find that one piece of information.

As for my writing, I haven’t done much. Towards the end of last year and beginning of this year, I was feeling less enthusiastic about writing anything - feeling like I was phoning it in to get something up. When I started my new job back in mid-February, I took a break to try and give my brain a break from it. I have slowly dipped my toes back in it during the spring and summer, but started to do more towards the end of the year - a combination of writing for an internal news service my company offers and finishing a backlog of reviews. Writing is still a bit of struggle as my creative side of the brain is still running on fumes and I only get about a quarter to half-way on a piece before setting it aside, most likely not coming back to it.

There were a couple of pieces that did make their way out over the year and I’m quite proud of them.

Afterthoughts: The Sad Trombone of the 2019 Detroit Auto Show (Cheers & Gears): Some passing thoughts on what would be the final Detroit Auto Show held in January. It would be memorable for all of the wrong reasons and made me wonder what the future will hold as the show moves to the summer for 2020.

Three Years On, A Brain Dump (Contradictory Enigmas): Looking back at three years of this site, what has come, and what I had hoped to do in the coming year - sadly none of those items came to fruition.

What were your top 5 moments of the year?

Finally achieving a major goal of getting a job

Turing 30 years old

Beginning to make some progress on other major goals

Reducing my hermit tendencies and going to a small number of events

Continue working on giving me more space to relax

What are you really glad is over?

Uncertainty reared its ugly head again throughout the year. It ranged from whether I was the right person for the new job I had accepted to worrying about whether or not I would have enough money to cover unexpected expenses. Luckily, I remembered that if I took it slow and worked it out - whether through thought or writing it down - the uncertainty would begin to wither away.

How are you different today than you were 365 days ago?

The most difficult part of this year is trying not to feel like I need to constantly work. Being a full-time freelance writer for the past seven years left me with a routine of constantly being busy to try and keep myself afloat. Drew Magary on Vice sums it up quite well.

When you freelance, you know that every job is temporary. You might get paid well, but you can’t assume that will always be the case. I remember being pathologically incapable of turning down work when I freelanced. Every assignment I didn’t do was money lost. I felt as if I already HAD the money and was giving it away by not doing the work.

That meant I gleefully accepted multiple gigs at once, and on weekends, and over holidays. I can’t speak for other freelancers out there, but a kind of PTSD sets in if you do this long enough, where you always fear the faucet will be shut off with a cursory email from a temp boss or, worse, no emails of any sort. There’s such a short distance between “I freelance” and “I’m unemployed” that the two statements often feel indistinguishable.

Emphasis mine.

This feeling still resides in my head and constantly tells me that I should be doing some sort of work, even though I know that giving myself some breathing space is good. This wasn’t helped by my growing amount of work throughout the year as new hires that were brought in around the same time as me either decided to go with another career or were let go. Getting some of their workloads on top of mine meant the feeling of “when will I find the time” started to creep in. Only setting some ground rules did this alleviate this feeling somewhat. I’m hoping this feeling goes away as time goes on.

I mentioned last year that I was re-diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). At the time, I was seeing a psychiatrist and was on medication to help me control some of the various issues I’ve been dealing with. But a combination of the new job, not having the time to make the hour-long trek to see the psychiatrist, and the expensive cost of the medication meant I had to put a stop to this for the time being. This has meant a return of the various symptoms (being able to focus on one task, having my mind wander, forgetting various things, etc). It has also meant that it is hard for me to relax with anything for a few moments because it doesn’t provide my brain enough stimuli to keep me occupied. Oddly, doing work of some sort seems to provide stimuli. But it comes at the cost of me not being to relax.

Pic Credit: Pina ADHD_Alien

On the plus side, starting this new job has brought something that I wanted for some time - separate spaces. What I mean by this is having one space for my work (the office) and then another to relax (the house). Previously, I would be working on stuff in the same room where I would sleep, causing all sorts of anxiety and feelings that I should be working on. Having that separation allows me some breathing space, despite that being somewhat difficult.

It’s also nice having a steady income and not one that is a roller coaster of sorts. Various amounts of money coming in at different times gave me a lot of stress. Moving to something that follows a regular pattern not only gives me a bit of breathing room for anything unexpected but also allows me to plan out new ideas and trips,

To cap off this section, I’m glad that I’m still involved in covering the automotive industry. I have dialed it back by a large amount, but I think this may be for the better as it means I can take more time and produce higher-quality pieces.

Is there anything you achieved that you forgot to celebrate?

Nothing that I can think of.

What have you changed your perspective on this year?

Talking about my mental health in public. I’ve been slowly talking about how I have both ADHD and clinical depression on various forums after seeing a number for friends and people who admire talk about it. I’m still in a grey area of how much I should reveal and whether it is worth it. I can see there is a lot of good as you see other people come out of the woodwork and reveal some of the issues they’re dealing with. But some don’t believe mental illness is a thing or will go out of their way to make it worse. This is a balancing act that I’m trying to figure out.

Who are the people that really came through for you this year?

A lot of the people that I work with at my job. Whether it be the various supervisors that would take time to answer a question I’m sure they have been asked countless times, to the other researchers who I might help with a quick issue or chit-chat about whatever, they have all played a part in making me feel welcomed.

What were some pieces of media that defined your year?

The Heavy, Sons: It has been a long time coming for the group’s latest album and it is very much worth it. All of the traits that I like about their previous albums such as the gritty sound and soulful lyrics are present. Heavy for You, their first single off this album has been on constant repeat.

youtube

Choom, Progger: I can’t explain why this dark jazz-funk-rock hybrid song just clicked with me. Maybe its how all of the instruments are arranged to provide a dark mood in one part, and then rise with something lighter later on. All I know is this song helped out in some bleak times during this year.

youtube

Nintendo Switch: An early Christmas gift to myself, I’m surprised at how much I have been playing. It is cool to play something on the TV and then undock it to continue playing while on the move. This has captured the magic and fun that I had been missing on playing video games throughout the year. So far, I have beaten Super Mario Odyssey and will be checking out Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening.

What will you be leaving behind in 2019?

The feelings of not being able to fully plan out stuff. Since starting the new job, I have been able to make slightly more concrete plans to ideas or items that I want to do soon. Some of these have come fruition, while others are still in the planning stages. This may not seem like a big accomplishment, but considering that the past few years where it mostly treading water and putting off various items because of one thing or another, it is a huge weight off my back.

What do you hope to accomplish in 2020?

There are two items that I want to work on writing and photography. I’ve been feeling either drained or hit a wall in terms of knowledge and want to expand it more.

For my writing, I want to try and recapture some of the fun and creativeness that I had when I first started many moons ago. I have some books including The Writer’s Way that has been recommended by a few people to help rekindle this. I’m also wanting to do other writings such as doing some history pieces, and more stuff on this blog. But of course, trying to find the time to do this will be one of the challenges.

As for the photography, I’m planning on doing some sort of online course and some reading to help me understand basic photography ideas, along with exploring various settings on my DSLR. I tend to shoot mostly in Auto without the flash and while it does deliver decent photos, I know that it is capable of more. I’m also wanting a new camera, a prosumer point-and-shoot to expand the possibility of taking more photos.

There are some long-term goals sprinkled in here such as working towards moving out of my parent’s house into my place. I have started saving up a fair amount of cash to cover a security deposit and a month’s rent, but I’m trying to aim for at least two to three months of rent to give a bit of a cushion. Also taking some sort of vacation is in the cards. Not sure where I want to go, but I do know it will be out of state.

That’s a wrap for this year’s postmortem. 2019 wasn’t a complete mess and hoping 2020 continues that trend.

#look back #2019 #2020 #postmortem #10 questions

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thatsonemorbidcorvid · 5 years

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Gender doesn't mean the same thing today as it did ten years ago. You know this. You go on the internet. You've seen.

With this progress comes challenges: TERFs obsessed with telling trans women they're not allowed to "be" women, but also discrimination from newspapers, TV presenters and your general run-of-the-mill dickheads, which has led to a horrendous rise in hate crimes against trans and non-binary people. But with more visibility comes more acceptance , and – slowly – more hope for a future in which people can identify how they want, without the fear of being abused by strangers.

Documenting the more hopeful side of things is the Italian-born multi-disciplinary artist Veronique Charlotte, who's behind Gender Project – a photography piece that began as a collection of 100 candid portraits of people from across the gender spectrum, and has since grown into a multimedia project, shown everywhere from east London galleries to film festivals in Milan.

I sat down with Veronique to find out more.

VICE: Hi, Veronique. What inspired the Gender Project?

Veronique Charlotte: People. They are my ultimate resource. London is an amazing playground – it's full of different experiences. There are spaces where people can actually express themselves, even though we still have many taboos and problems around gender and gender identity. I've been aspiring to create an educational tool to help those that don't know what gender fluid means and what gender identity is. There is still a lot of confusion, and some people might not know what we're talking about.

What was it like photographing the 100 people?

It involved a cathartic moment and meeting with the subject. It was an open call. There was a lot of connection between humans, asking why are we together in this room? It's an activist project, so it doesn't just stop as a piece of art, it explores other topics too. I want to create an open space for people to let themselves feel free and talk about things they might not talk about elsewhere.

What did you capture?

My open call was specific – I asked people to come in and pose half-naked for me. This was a vulnerable situation for some people. We talked about gender, sexuality, what they're connecting with… there was a lot of emotion; it's been a tough journey. I had 100 different lives, 100 different experiences, 100 different energies. It has been really interesting research for me.

Is the project collaborative?

I was doing it alone until I finished all the portraits, then the exhibition was co-curated by Michelle Cooper. My team helped me set up the exhibition and I collaborated with some musicians – CC Honeymoon, Lucia from Glasgow, they came down to play, along with different visual artists and body performers.

I'm also part of a dance collective. We did performance art at the V&A for a different project called Frontleft – about gentrification and other problems that are happening in London. One of the guys I did that with is an amazing artist, Riccardo Suazo. He really helped me on this Gender Project. I chose the people I worked with because they're all doing their own things and I really connect with them. For example, Minerva Amis and Ranny Cooper did naked painted body pieces at my exhibition about invisible disabilities, which is also something that people don't talk about very much.

NOTE - CROPPED PER TUMBLR’S TERMS AND CONDITIONS.

How has it been received?

The response has been amazing – I've honestly enjoyed every single part of it. I've received so much beautiful feedback. We filled the exhibition for two days and we had a roundtable discussion on the second day. The discussion was with many different people; some were from universities and schools. More than 100 people showed up to watch the talk. We had drag queens, artists... it was different people from different experiences, which made it easier for anybody to ask questions. It was really great – I was super surprised.

Brilliant. What's next?

I want to create a chain of multimedia exhibitions. My intention is to bring this project to nine different countries. I want to bring this project around the world and see what happens. I want to discover different possibilities and see how other countries respond to a call like this one. I'd love to do this in a Muslim country – it would be amazing to see the responses from people there. I'm no longer taking photos, so if anybody has photos for this then I'm putting them and myself on the same level.

Finally, what have you learned throughout this project?

I've learned so much, and there is no better research than people. A book or Google search can tell you some things, but people can show you sides that you can't learn in a book. They can give you emotion. I learned about myself and my limits – it's a constant research. I want to go deeper and make these educational tools for people that live in judgmental ways, to help people be more respectful, and for people that don't know who they are yet. So many people don't know what gender they are because nobody has shown them how to find themselves. They might even be afraid to come out due to homophobia and other things. It's a harsh world out there.

Find out more at veroniquetcharlotte.com and @gender_project.

#analysis/discussion points to come #radfems do interact #radfems please interact #terf safe #terfs do interact #terfs please interact #radfem

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mrhotmaster · 4 years

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Apple MacBook Air 2020 Full Review

Apple MacBook Air 2020 Detailed Review The same faith, a better processor, and a better keyboard. Mac's MacBook Air needs no presentation. It's for quite some time been the go-to PC for experts and understudies, and in 2018, it showed signs of improvement when Apple at long last updated the plan. Nonetheless, the shallow console that Apple presented with that modification has been scrutinized vigorously. Today, we'll be checking on the most recent 2020 model of the MacBook Air, which guarantees an improved console dependent on client criticism. The new MacBook Air (2020) brags of three significant changes contrasted with its ancestor — processors of 10th generation, one more magic keyboard design, and for the base version, the storage capacity of 256GB (up from 256GB). In a very non-Apple move, the official beginning cost of the PC is likewise now generally Rs. 7,000 lower, at Rs. 92,990. I've been utilizing the base rendition of the MaBook Air (2020) as my essential PC for a couple of days, and it's an ideal opportunity to perceive the amount of a distinction these progressions have made. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); MacBook Air (2020) structure: Almost great The MacBook Air (2020) proceeds with a similar plan of the 2018 revive, yet is simply somewhat thicker and heavier. In case you're utilized to the more established non-Retina MacBook Air, as am I, at that point there's a great new deal. The general size of the PC is littler, making it significantly progressively convenient, and it's somewhat lighter as well, beginning at 1.29kg. The whole body is constructed utilizing 6000-arrangement aluminum, which causes it to feel extremely solid. The Apple logo on the cover isn't illuminated any longer, however rather includes a mirror finish, which supplements the matte completion on the remainder of the body.

The "gold" MacBook Air (2020) that I have all the more intently takes after rose gold and looks much better than the rose gold completion of some more seasoned iPhone models. On the off chance that you need to say something each time you visit a Starbucks, at that point, I can see the intrigue of the gold choice. I'd in any case pick the silver or space dim hues over this, however that is only an individual decision. The 13.3-inch IPS Retina show looks extraordinary and is a major advance up from the non-Retina model, with a lot higher goal of 2560x1600 pixels. You likewise get Apple's True Tone innovation, which consequently adjusts the shading temperature of the presentation to encompassing light. The bezels around the showcase are slimmer as well, which makes the PC look progressively present day. One thing that I found somewhat odd was that the upper corners of the showcase aren't adjusted, however, the ones at the base are. While the aluminum top offers a lot of assurance, the presentation despite everything flexes effectively when you contact it with a touch of weight. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Probably the greatest change to the new MacBook Air (2020), is the Magic Keyboard. Apple has at last resigned its tricky butterfly instrument for another scissor component. We previously observed it on the 16-inch MacBook Pro a year ago.

The new keys feel responsive gratitude to the 1mm of movement and aren't loud when you type. The key design is extremely recognizable, with the exception of the force button, which is littler contrasted with the non-Retina model. It additionally houses Apple's Touch ID unique finger impression sensor. The last functions admirably with only a tap and helps sign in to the framework, approve application downloads, and when you have to autofill accreditations for sites in Safari. The MacBook Air (2020) has sound system speakers, one on each side of the console. Apple says it can convey double the bass and up to 20 percent higher volume contrasted with the non-Retina model. There are a sum of three amplifiers set around the PC, and gratitude to the devoted T2 security chip, you can utilize the 'Hello Siri' voice order to bring Siri voluntarily. The trackpad is 20 percent bigger contrasted with the non-Retina model and feels similarly as responsive as in the past. In spite of the expansion in size, I didn't confront any coincidental presses or cursor developments while composing. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); The trackpad additionally underpins Force Touch, which implies you get haptic input when you push down on any piece of it. There's additionally a Force Click motion that you perform by proceeding to apply pressure after the snap registers. You feel a more grounded haptic heartbeat to realize you've played out the activity. I saw it as very convenient for seeing pictures and records.

The physical connectors on the MacBook Air (2020) have been decreased to only two Thunderbolt 3 Type-C ports and an earphone jack. The 2020 revive now bolsters one 6K or up to two 4K outside presentations through the Type-C ports. The issue with having simply Type-C ports is that interfacing most regular assistants to the PC is close to unthinkable without a connector. In a perfect world, you'll need to put resources into a Type-C center point which has connectors for USB Type-A ports, Ethernet, and perhaps an SD card peruser. In case you're as of now in the Apple biological system, moving anything between Apple gadgets is at any rate to a lesser extent an issue, because of AirDrop. MacBook Air (2020) particulars and programming: Up to date Another huge change with the 2020 invigorate is the processor. The MacBook Air (2020) presently includes Intel's tenth era CPUs, which guarantee preferable preparing abilities over the past Retina MacBook Air. I'm trying the base model, which has an Intel Core i3-1000NG4 'Ice Lake' CPU, with two centers and four strings. It's based on the 10nm manufacture procedure and highlights Intel's Iris Plus incorporated illustrations. The base adaptation of the PC additionally has 8GB of LPDDR4X RAM and a 256GB PCIe SSD. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Apple India selling another pre-constructed unit has a quad-centric Intel Core i5, RAM of 8GB, and SSD of 512GB for Rs. 1,22,990. What's more, since May this year, you can tweak Mac designs through Apple Authorized Resellers in India. With this adaptability, you can select a quad-center Core i7 CPU, up to 16GB of RAM, and up to 2TB of SSD stockpiling. There is a double-band Wi-Fi ac, HD Webcam, Bluetooth v5, and a battery of 50Wh with a guaranteed battery life of 11-hour. My solitary objection is that 720p is a genuinely low goal for a webcam in 2020, and the recording it catches is commonly somewhat grainy, even insufficiently bright situations. The MacBook Air (2020) operated on macOS 10 Catalina and will be relocated to macOS 11 Big Sur when it discharges in a group of months. The MacBook Air (2020) additionally bolsters the Sidecar highlight of macOS, which lets you utilize a good iPad as a subsequent presentation, remotely. You can find out pretty much all the primary highlights of Catalina directly here. The most recent 10.15.5 update likewise included another battery wellbeing the executives highlight for MacBooks to help boost the life expectancy of your battery.

MacBook Air (2020) execution and battery power: sufficiently good In case, you are from a MacBook Air with non-retina Core i5 like me, then you can seem a downsize Core i3 CPU, but it isn't actually. Intel's present tenth era 'Ice Lake' Core i3 processor in the MacBook Air (2020) is similarly as incredible, if worse here and there than the fifth-age 'Broadwell' Core i5 in the non-Retina model. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); In the Cinebench R20 benchmark, the MacBook Air (2020) posted a fundamentally the same as a multi-center score of 626 focuses as the more seasoned MacBook Air, yet the single-center score improved by around 24 percent, at 348 focuses. The MacBook Air 2020 features a GFXBench Metal's Aztec Ruins test of 16.3fps, while my own seasoned MacBook Air features 30fps. Be that as it may, in the event that we remove goal from the condition, the Iris Plus illustrations chip walks ahead. In the goal free 'offscreen' adaptation of a similar test, the MacBook Air (2020) oversaw 29.2fps, while the non-Retina MacBook Air oversaw simply 20fps. While the incorporated GPU in the MacBook Air (2020) is better, it despite everything battles with graphically escalated assignments because of the higher-goal show. Additional improvements were made in SSD execution. In the AmorphousDiskMark benchmark, the MacBook Air (2020) arrived at the midpoint of 1.63GBps and 1.15GBps in the peruse and compose tests separately. My non-Retina MacBook Air then again figured out how to average 1.2GBps and 430MBps in similar tests. I utilized the new MacBook Air (2020) as my essential work PC for this audit, and the presentation was quite strong all through. macOS booted up rapidly, performing multiple tasks was generally easy, and the bigger trackpad made signals considerably simpler to utilize. Altering pictures in Adobe Photoshop CC 2020 was likewise dealt with quite well. There's for all intents and purposes no perceptible fan commotion on the Core i3 model. The main time I heard it turning was during a framework update. I saw that the base of the PC was for the most part on the hotter side, regardless of whether I was viewing a video or essentially perusing the Web.

The Magic Keyboard is astounding and feels a lot of like the one on the non-Retina MacBook Air, just calmer. Text and symbols by and large look sharp on the Retina show, with no evident rugged edges when seeing it from a typical separation. Recordings likewise enormously profited by the new showcase. Gushed motion pictures and TV shows looked clear, hues were better immersed, and dark levels were significantly improved contrasted with the non-Retina model. The sound system speakers got uproarious and the sound stayed clear, yet at the same time needed punch in the bass. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); The MacBook Air (2020) isn't intended for gaming however it can deal with certain titles from the App Store. The Core i3 variation that I tried experienced difficulty producing reliable framerates even in games, for example, Asphalt 9: Legends. I saw gentle discontinuous falter even in basic games, for example, Limbo, which is accessible through Steam. Heavier titles, for example, Shadow of the Tomb Raider would not run through and through. The base of the PC and the zone over the console got hot after around 10 minutes of gaming, however, the keys and palm rest zone weren't influenced so a lot. I came over some particular conduct with my MacBook Air (2020). When utilizing it for a superior piece of the week, it haphazardly rebooted twice when it was left inert. I don't know what caused this, and I couldn't recreate it however I found a couple of objections on Apple's people group page alluding to a comparative issue. Another little eccentricity I unearthed was that when going through the reviews of huge picture records (around 8MB each), the OS would haphazardly freeze and the PC would close down. My more seasoned 2017 MacBook Air running a similar variant of macOS didn't have this issue. I don't know whether this is a bug in macOS or if it's simply my unit carrying on whimsically. Macintosh asserts the MacBook Air (2020) can run for as long as 11 hours of Web perusing or as long as 12 hours of video playback on a solitary charge. While I couldn't accomplish these numbers during my survey, I got a good measure of runtime with ordinary remaining tasks at hand. A common workday of mine normally included writing in Pages, heaps of Safari utilization, some Photoshop work, and Spotify gushing out of sight. With this, I was averaging around eight to nine hours on one charge. On the off chance that I tossed in a touch of gaming or watched a great deal of recordings, this plunged a bit. The PC ships with a 30W USB Type-C charger which takes about an hour and a half to completely charge it.

Decision: Should you purchase the MacBook Air (2020)? In case you're a current client of a non-Retina MacBook Air from 2017 or prior and were waiting for an update, I feel the 2020 revive merits going for. The more conservative body, better showcase, progressively proficient processor, and higher SSD limit are generally huge updates. Furthermore, the new console at long last fixes the numerous grumblings clients have had with Apple's past console. The valuing probably won't be as forceful as what the non-Retina models were selling for a few years prior in India, yet it's as yet a lower value contrasted with the 2018 MacBook Air, which is a positive development. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); In case you discover the more remarkable, modest, glow-light Windows workstation with Intel 10th Gen CPUs, you will discover that at Rs.92,990 for the basic model of the MacBook Air (2020), I wouldn't like to mention this. Acer's Swift 5 is one such model that rings a bell. Notwithstanding, the mix of macOS and the tight combination of iCloud on Apple gadgets is the thing that makes the Mac experience one of a kind, despite the fact that the equipment may not generally be at standard with its Windows rivals. To the extent profitability goes, I think the MacBook Air (2020) will be a strong decision for some individuals.

REVIEWS

⓽

DES

IGN

⓽

DIS

PLAY

⓽

SOFT

WARE

⓻

SHOW

⓼

BATT

ERY

⓼

CAM

ERA

✔GOOD

✘BAD

☞ Metal, Compact Body

☞ Great Keyboard

☞ Sharp Display

☞ Great Battery Life

☞ Great Show/ Performance

☞ Hot Fast

☞ Webcam is not good

KEY SPECIFICATIONS

DISPLAY

13.30-Inch

MacOS

RESOLUTION

2560X1600P

TOUCHSCREEN

PROCESSOR

Core i3

RAM

8GB

SSD

256GB

WEIGHT

1.29Kg

SSD

256GB

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olivereliott · 5 years

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Birdcage: Revival Cycle’s Titanium-Caged BMW Boxer

BMW Motorrad have something big in the works. All they’ve shown us so far is a boxer engine and a drivetrain…but they’ve teased these in the most spectacular fashion.

First, they commissioned a build from Custom Works Zon for the Mooneyes show in Yokohama. Now it’s the turn of the highly talented team at Revival Cycles in Austin, Texas. They’ve answered with what is possibly their hottest machine to date: ‘Birdcage.’

Revival shop boss, Alan Stulberg, picks up the story: “BMW came to us months ago and presented us with an engine, gearbox and rear differential drive that was never before seen.”

“They gave us very few details, but it’s obvious they have big plans for the iconic opposed twin engine. It’s difficult to fully take in and absorb in these photos, but this boxer engine is colossal.”

With huge cylinders (we’re guessing a total capacity of around 1,800 cc) jutting out on either side, Revival’s challenge was to design a ground-up custom that would carry that mass—and emphasize its shapely beauty.

Alan wanted the concept to accomplish two things: “To appear as if it would not function, and to have an unencumbered view of the engine and drivetrain. I believe we accomplished both goals handily.”

So how did Revival get from that ideal to this exquisite, wire-framed oddity? By drawing inspiration from an old infatuation: the birdcage-framed race cars that Maserati and Porsche famously built in the late 50s and early 60s.

They decided to go ‘full birdcage,’ and subsequently built the first birdcage-framed motorcycle we’ve ever seen.

The Revival crew decided to work with titanium, picking it for its low weight and high strength. And as you’d imagine, crafting the framework took more than a minute. The main structure is made up of 138 carefully cut, coped and welded titanium frame members.

Every one of the motorcycle’s essential components attaches to this main ‘birdcage.’ And even though everything’s bolted in exactly where it needs to be, there’s a lot of free-form design going on too—thanks to the inherent asymmetry of BMW boxer engines.

“The best part of a BMW riding experience is generally how well balanced it all feels,” says Alan. “So it is more than ironic, as a builder, to look down upon the bare engine, gearbox and rear drive and see just how biased everything is towards asymmetry.”

“To design around that with harmonious shapes and lines was almost easy for me. There is only one single piece of titanium rod down the middle of the bike that is centered with the wheels—and the rest fell where they fit best, flowing all around the drivetrain.”

From there, Revival built a front suspension system in the same vein as BMW’s famous Telelever design. They designed the front end in CAD first—running simulations to make sure it would function well.

The fork lowers were lifted from a BMW R 1150 GS, and the shock is an Öhlins mountain bike unit. The rest of the setup is a mix of CNC-machine aluminum parts, and hexagonal carbon fiber tubing.

“It all feels like pure magic when you hold the components in your hand,” says Alan, “and it’s hard to fathom their strength to weight balance.”

The forks—and handlebars—were shaped to pay homage to another Revival favorite: the iconic Ernst Henne BMW Landspeeder. The controls are especially unique—both the throttle and classic inverted clutch are routed internally, and there’s a hand shifter mounted to the right of the frame, with a carbon fiber linkage.

Tricky engineering and enviable materials are all over this boxer-powered machine. Revival’s lead engineer and fabricator, Chris Auerbach, went to town on the details.

He built the huge aero-shaped valve covers, a carbon fiber seat, titanium fasteners for the axles, foot controls and a whole bunch of other pieces.

As a design exercise, Alan designed an aluminum cover for the engine and gearbox that would visually round off the drivetrain. But it also became the perfect spot to stash the custom ECU, charging and ignition systems, and most of the wiring.

Just behind it, and a bit lower down, is an aluminum fuel tank. It holds just a gallon, and has its own internal electronic fuel pump.

Revival went the old-school hotrod route for fueling, with large-mouth mechanical fuel injection bodies, and bell mouth velocity stacks. Those stacks look like they’re in the way, but they actually splay out just a bit wider than the valve covers.

“There’s ample room for the rider to tuck their knees in behind the cylinders,” says Alan, “for what we hope will be those top speed trials at Bonneville and the dry lake beds of California.”

With a 70” wheelbase and 23” Dunlop slicks, this BMW should run pretty stable. There’s only one brake to stop it though—a custom disc setup out back, operated on the left foot control. As an extra nod to the Henne racer, the rear wheel’s covered by aluminum discs.

Chief welder, Ty Burham, put together a full titanium exhaust system, that was anodized for a more unique finish.

Birdcage is a remarkable blend of art and engineering; a truly out-the-box build that showcases the Revival team’s vast pool of talent. And if you’d like to see it in the flesh, just head down to the Handbuilt Show in Austin this weekend—it’s there right now, turning heads and dropping jaws.

Alan would like to thank his entire team for their stunning performance: (in order) Chris Auerbach, Ty Burham, Chris Davis, Alec Padron, Ian Holt and Andy James.

Revival Cycles | Facebook | Instagram

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