#just oh yeah obviously!

[altschmerzes]

Im like. Seething in rage about that episode lol. Like five episodes ago we have jamie detailing a story of james sanctioning him being sexual assaulted (because that’s what it was!!!!!!!!!!! james could literally be convicted of sexual abuse) and now we have the show saying “well actually jamie should forgive his dad and he should explicitly reach out to him and invite him back into his life” like????? I believe in forgiveness but there are limits. And those limits are important.

yeah literally, everything about jamie’s dad in that episode was nothing short of infuriating and extremely painful to watch. like yeah, the violent asshole who arranged for his fourteen year old to be assaulted is exactly who we should be pushing the Forgive Them <3 For YOU <3 shit with, i guess. as if it’s a universal truth that forgiving someone who profoundly harmed you is healthy for every single person ever. especially still actively in the midst of a pretty serious trauma-induced mental health episode.

like that’s what gets me about this - or a couple of things that do ig. we get an (absolutely infuriating) ‘feel good’ shot of james in rehab smiling and proud or whatever watching the match but he has not said fuck-all to jamie. he has not made any kind of effort to apologize or take accountability for everything he did. what they showed jamie doing, reaching out like that? that’s extremely dangerous for him to be doing with no information about how it’s gonna go especially given the last time they interacted went the way it did. i KNOW that because ive BEEN THERE and it’s shit like this being the only narrative society at large will endorse that led me to being there and it fucked me up worse than id already been by an order of magnitude.

forgiveness is for YOU <3 is not a one size fits all maxim. sometimes it hurts people to do that. especially when they’re doing it because they’ve been told that’s the only way to be healthy or free or whatever. sometimes forgiving someone is dangerous and toxic and harmful. and there’s nothing showing THAT story. it’s all this one. it’s all ‘everyone’s needs are exactly the same and they’re ‘forgive your abuser, no it doesn’t matter if they’ve done anything to demonstrate they understand or regret what they did, after all it’s for YOU! no i will not be asking if that’s what you need or doing any work to verify that, just blanket prescribing it and this will be portrayed as the correct and good thing to do.’

it’s not that i think it’s inherently wrong to show someone wanting a relationship with an abusive parent as an adult. i still talk to two of mine, not that i have much of a choice, and i get that it’s very complicated and everyone has the right to make those choices for themselves. but once again i'm at the place of like, characters are not human people making complex decisions for their own reasons, they are narrative figures that are being written by writers making choices, and writers do not ever make a different choice with that narrative and it is blatantly transparent to me that this is largely because society at large does not give one fuck about abuse victims and is stuck in the perspective of the parent and going ‘what makes a good, happy ending here? oh i know! if this person gets their kid back and improves their life <3’ no thought at all as to what a happy ending for the abused adult child might be, or if that’s even a safe situation, which it often is not.

just. disappointing and hurtful and awful but not at all surprising. i keep seeing people expressing surprise that the show would extend its radical forgiveness and second chance approach to james sr of all people and without a fucking minute of work for it because apparently we lost sight of ‘accountability’ somewhere along that road, but i wasn’t surprised at all. because every show does this. every single one, every single time. abused children do not GET the luxury of walking away from their abusers, or saying fuck it, no forgiveness, that’s NOT what i need actually. and characters choosing to reconcile or forgive wouldn’t be nearly as troubling and upsetting to me as a survivor who got pressured by people in my life and by society at large to trying to do that and suffering a lot more for it if there was literally any depiction of other choices existing and being healthy and permitted.

combining the stuff with james in the same episode with the stuff with beard and nate and with ted and his mom was irresponsible, messy storytelling at best. these things are not the same and they are not comparable. people are complicated, and so are parents, and we deserve grace and understanding but abuse changes that equation significantly and that is a hill im going to die on every time.

#gav gab #gav answers #sorry this is so long lmao I have thoughts. on this. #this was an irresponsible and harmful and deeply hurtful and upsetting choice for that narrative #and it hurt me a lot to watch #especially because it was just. tossed in there with no thought or gravity #just oh yeah obviously! #man. there were some really great parts of that episode but fuck that shit so much #they did jamie dirty in that ep. again. #this show does not do abuse justice at this point #ted lasso spoilers #abuse cw #long post #rape mention #csa mention

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[avephelis]

mutant cass is the creature that lives in my brain

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt casey jones #cassandra jones #rottmnt cassandra jones #why she got so many tags #avepharts #mutant casey jones #ferret cass #basically i have just so many thoughts about mutated casey in my head its insane (will this be a full on au? maybe? WHO KNOWS! not me) #obviously these are kind of a concept first pass i just think she's cool #but yeah she's so. she's a ferret. she does the weasel war dance. do you understand me. #oh fun fact i actually have a tasmanian devil version too but i figured ferret made more logical sense (i do love the alt design though)

[deoidesign]

Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'??? #because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol' #anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset... #im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways. #time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option?????? #uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

#pokemon #trainer lyra #rival silver #soulsilvershipping #timeskip tag #bao beis #i had so much more planned. but alas. college. #ANYWAY. sss my everything. ohh. always thinking abt them. #this is very obviously lyra's room! all the pink! massive bed to fit all her pokemon! the champion paycheck gets you that much at least #and plants!!! no. 1 horticulturist in johto #she's living somewhere around the base of mt silver... decently close to the league and her hometown #so i like to imagine her with a huge greenhouse so she can take care of plants even in the harsher climate #meanwhile silver has one of those decrepit malelivingspace flats in viridian. he's making it work. #i can only see sss properly moving in together liiiike in their late 20s #after they get to enjoy young adult independence for a while #but before they permanently settle down they should go on silly adventures again... just once. or twice. or #as much as i like to entertain the thought of them being homebodies i think they'd rather spend their lives travelling haha #since silver never got to fully experience it as a kid on the run #being a wanted man and all #and lyra is itching for the getaway #they deserve to be in nature and responsibility-free and *frothing at the mouth* #BTW i put my whole wyvussy into that wall decor #lisia signed poster... rosa's resemblance as mei(!!!) in the totoro one... bell tower + whirl island pics // #pokemon constellations... and those gen 4 mail templates that no one actually used. probably from dawn. champion penpals :] #i debated doing a lance poster because celebrity idol funny but nah she'd bin that immediately after moving out #oh yeah the drawover was um. inspired by the nonebinary neochamp fit. so happy for my son. #i'm glad i managed to finish the big piece in time otherwise i would've just posted that LOL can you imagine #okey bye happy sss day

[artsyhamster]

Disease from within, called love

#ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd fanart #izzy is like the poster boy for unrequited love how could i not hanahaki him #flower's a blackdahlia btw because i am a sucker for drama. it means betrayal #could either mean guilt for betraying blackbeard or feeling betrayed by being replaced and forgotten #idk pick your drama #i just wanted a new phone background so cheers #anyway i am HUNGRY for season 2 #oh yeah very loosely inspired by a fic called 'black velvet petunia' #altho obviously i chose a different flower sdghghj

[120percents]

i just think it’s so funny that zoro does not even wanna comment on the usokaya situation when usopp explicitly asks and he very pointedly looks away when they kiss and yet he proceeds to butt in every single time sanji flirts with a woman or implies he knows about romance to redirect attention back on himself like god i wonder where your interests lie…

#also the goading sanji into talking with him and just commenting on every single thing sanji says... ok! #zoro is patient 0 of terminal sanji-itis #this is the live action but i mean... this is also animanga zoro and zoro in the movies at times is it not LMFAO #but while they were fighting and then even when he was asking for seconds of the dish and sanji finished his dialogue and zoro CONTINUED #do u want his attention or smth? are you happy you have someone who u can bicker (flirt) with every day and can hand ur ass to u and u him? #also sanji just BEAMING and smiling whenever they bicker is just insane INSANE like yeah they're enjoying this... wow... #also obviously zoro has all the weird UST charged dialogues with multiple MEN like i truly don't know how u can see him as straight lmao #anyways... i just needed to ramble anyways... i fear s2 will be insane with new pet names and arguments I'm actually so hyped #like oh i wanna see the look on sanji and luffy's faces when zoro calls out his finishing move LMFAO (let him be a loser pls) #OK RAMBLING OVER FR... i just like talking about zosan idk #zosan #zs #opla #tagging for spoilers ish #sanzo #zorosan #sanzoro

[ahalliance]

just finished Nimona… DAMN does it feel good to watch such an openly queer movie man

#i haven’t read the graphic novel (though now I plan to!) so these are just my observations from the movie but #nimona is fucking trans & nonbinary man #like so fucking openly. refusing to answer balistair’s small minded questions and simply replying ‘i’m Nimona!’ #chef’s kiss. absolutely fucking astounding. the nonbinary/genderqueer experience in a nutshell #you cannot and will not pin me down ! #and obviously the major themes of being the odd one out among a whole society of people perceived as ‘normal’. wow that hit close to home! #and if the aggressively queer themes weren’t enough we have ambrosius and balistair too <3 like fuck yeah give us that on screen couple ! #overall… enjoyed it so very much #a new comfort movie perhaps….. #oh and don’t think i missed that pride flag in the credits lmaooo absolutely iconic #jay rambles #nimona #nimona spoilers

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Resurrected the lab au for a second to make Lab Cesar look worse

#the mandela catalogue #mandela catalogue #tmc #tmc labrats au #patient 02 (cesar) #face horror #gore tw #eye contact tw #shmorps art #Sory for neglecting this au. I remembered it today and was like. “Oh yeah I should draw the characters again huh” #Anyway uh he looks older now! cause he's. 33 as of 2007. #Plus I just wanted the fungus to look worse and. be obviously. tearing apart his skin. #I should probably draw the other characters but I don't know how long my mind will focus on this au #before. throwing it into the depths once again.

[infinite-infinite-stars]

What if... Who Killed Markiplier... but it's Ace Attorney Investigations...

"Ace District Attorney Investigations", if you will.

(Everything you see here was drawn by me, with some backgrounds/that one evidence photo being either screenshots from the show, or edits of official photographs of Mythea Castle, where WKM was filmed)

#who killed markiplier #wkm #ace attorney investigations #wkm fanart #wkm district attorney #captainsona #captain yona masters #''a burgundy-wearing prosecutor teaming up with a kooky detective? now why does that sound familiar- OH YEAH!'' #anyway you guys ever notice that the da from what we're shown is a pretty piss-poor investigator? #they just kinda wander around aimlessly and allow people to shoo them away before offering up any information #like their alibis or lack thereof #it doesn't exactly help that wkm is a choose your own adventure without any choices #and I know mark's team was limited on budget and time or whatever and they meant for it to be more involved than what we got! #it's not their fault! #but still you can't deny that what we got isn't very satisfying as far as murder mysteries go #and I don't feel all that compelled to pretend otherwise! #so in the version of wkm that exists in MY head #da!yona is going to take the prospect of solving her dear friend's murder SERIOUSLY goddammit! #(the conclusion she's gearing up towards in the last two pictures #is that the party was a cover for mark's plan to kill the colonel; but it obviously backfired and mark wound up getting killed instead) #(that's her theory. as we all know it's not /quite/ accurate to what really happened but it's pretty close!) #(obviously she's unaware of any supernatural element to the whole thing at this point) #(or heck maybe in this version of events there actually isn't a supernatural element at all and she's right. I haven't decided)

[astral-schools]

bro that really haunts my narrative

#w101 #w101 fandom #wizard101 #wizard101 fandom #the old one #sal art #desperately need to sit down and lay out my feelings abt how much the old one's presence is utterly crucial to arc 4 despite the fact #that (spoilers) he dies like 20 minutes into it #like obviously its most strongly felt in lemuria he is haunting that shit like a ghost in a house #but even up to (BIG SPOILERS) the end of wallaru and everything that happens there #w101 spoilers #just in case #love when media hypes a guy up and then they immediately get murked #working caption was 'haha noo dont haunt the narrative ur so sexy' based on that one meme #mostly this was just me fuckin around w divide layers. fun effect #oh yeah world icons courtesy of the wiki. i was not redrawing those things

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Never seen a homoerotic rivalry I wouldn’t ship.

#except bakudeku maybe I just never watched far enough in bnha to care but. idk. bakudeku did not spark joy #anyway I’ll just tag a couple recent ish fandoms for me #obviously since I got into one piece I was immediately like ‘oh yeah I get this’ about #zosan #I think technically these two count just based on how their dynamic works #fengqing #could tag just about any ship from haikyuu tbh but I’ll just go with the main duo and leave it at that #kagehina #the pairing that really started this for me though (and sorry to wizard book mention but I gotta be honest) was of course #drarry #now that I have added that tag obligatory: terfs fuck off okay moving on #hmmm. does griddlehark count. or are they just codependent homoerotic frenemies. #there’s some nebulous dividing line between All That and plain rivalry #I would tag harrianthe but I still haven’t finished harrow so like. I can’t confirm that personally yet. #after some reflection on another post I have decided to include these two because I think their dynamic counts #matchablossom #caitie speaks #animanga #shipping #tropes

[moghedien]

Shipping Cassandra and Leliana is so funny because I feel like the only people who actually do it have either only played Inquisition or don't think much past "Well they're the Left and Right Hands of the Divine" because you KNOW they only get along to the extent they do in Inquisition because they've never had an actual conversation because the second Leliana opened her mouth about her theology in front of Cassandra, they would have been trying to strangle each other

#either they never talked about it #or Cassandra just silently had an aneurysm because she didn't want to disrespect Justinia by fighting Leliana to the death #also because Leliana is obviously the Divine's favorite in that manner #but I think Leliana is smart enough not to stir the pot when she needs Cassandra #because like look at her if she romanced the Warden #Cassandra will be like 'we LOOKED for the Warden we can't find them!' #but the second its clear they aren't gonna be trying to bother the Warden about leading them anymore #Leliana is like 'yeah I knew where she was the whole time wanna write her a letter? we're in touch constantly she's busy leave her alone' #also like how Leliana reacts to be romanced and becoming Divine versus Cassandra #Cassandra is like 'oh we're going to break up because that's what my religion strictly tells me to do' #meanwhile Leliana not only DOES NOT break up with the Warden but is very public about not having done so #like literally even all the way back in Origins she flirts with the Warden by being like 'Hey god wants me to eat your pussy' #and she's 100% serious about that #Cassandra would become an atheist before she got on board with Leliana's beliefs lbr #dragon age #cassandra pentaghast #leliana

[itstimeforstarwars]

I think it's really funny when people say I'm converting them either to "korkie is a kenobi" or "korkie is not a kenobi" truthers. You don’t need to be a truther if you don’t want to. Join me in the middle with Schrodinger's Kenobi, where Korkie both is and is not a Kenobi until I figure out which option makes the plot funnier.

#chit chat #korkie kryze #in my personal life i actually lean a little more towards korkie is not a kenobi #simply because satine doesn't really seem the type to lie about that and because of the whole #'it doesn't matter who your father was only the father you'll be' thing with mandos #but i switch it up depending on the story im writing #obi wan getting mistaken for his own grandson bc he looks just like korkie? hilarious #korkie being force sensitive with no jedi involvement and satine not believing that's force sensitivity bc bo katan does that? hilarious #korkie being a young diplomat who gets into fistfights constantly because everyone THINKS he's the illegitimate son of a jedi? hilarious #Korkie’s parentage is based exclusively on my sense of humor #oh yeah. can't forget galidraan #very obviously a kryze hates being called kenobi but now due to force bullshit has no other choice but to INSIST he's a kenobi? hilarious