#just me venting tbh

[queermentaldisaster]

Hm. I dunno if I wanna do the Recon By Fire and Violence and Timing missions in my fanfic for a few reasons.

One, they're perfect as is, I don't really need to add any of the shifter aspects to it. Yes, it'd be nice to see Farah shifting to catch up with the convoy, but there's not really much of a practical use for the other shifted forms there.

Two, I kinda wanna fill in what happened between Hardpoint and El Sin Nombre. Because there's that downtime there, that we just have no clue what happened! It is headcanon central and I wanna take full advantage of that.

Three, both of the missions are lengthy, and I am not trying to completely rewrite MWII. I just wanna expand off the base I was given with my au, but the only way I can do that is by cutting out some missions, just like I did with everything up to Hardpoint. Timeskips are your best friends sometimes.

But on the other hand, I feel like I'm excluding Gaz and Price if I do that (especially Gaz) when I'm not, I'm just not trying to have people experience the game in a different format (fanfiction and AU in this case) but Gaz is still gonna have plenty of time to shine...even though he's not the main-main characters in the fic. I dunno, I'm conflicted.

#call of duty #call of duty mw2 #fic issues #writer problems #writing issues #conflicted #arghhhhhh #elo rambles #just me venting tbh #vent ish?? #eh #whatever

[adustoflove]

Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

#bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd splitting #lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too #haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days #irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really #I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection #like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person #then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually

[bred-is-a-dumb-name]

Genuinely don't know what to do abt this shit anymore man. I've been on tumblr for so long, have had so many blogs, have lived through all sorts of wild shit that staff does. I have nowhere else to go either. Nowhere else can provide what this platform does for me. But this treatment of trans folk has me legitimately scared for the future of this place if something thats clearly visibly a joke can get you banned for life. When hateful terfs can just say whatever they want and not have problems if they get reported. I mean this isn't fucking twitter. I just. Fuck dude. Idk. I'm worried and angry and as a trans person I'm scared to even make jokes abt this situation lest i also get banned for "death threats" or something. This is insane. And it's gone on for a while now. And fuck. Tumblr needs to do better. Seriously.

#serious post #bred.txt #idk just kinda venting tbh #this situation worries me bc without my tumblr community i have nowhere else to go #and i really *really* dont wanna leave this place #but fuck dude. this shit is not okay. yknow. #anyways #trans rights #transgender #🚗🔨⚒️💥 #🏳️‍⚧️ #🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ #fuck tumblr staff

[emberglowfox]

closing time

#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL #sparks speaks #vent #again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it #long post #edit: fine to rb idgas #ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol #i dont know how i survived the first time #<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely #if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon #the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck. #its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose. #anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out #if youre reading this preciate you. drink water

[stuckinapril]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

#And to be clear I have nothing against therapy. I’ve seen it do wonders for other people #I think the reason it’s a point of defeat (just a little) for me to be like ok. I need a therapist. Is bc I’m admitting to myself that I #need one to begin w. And I get it’s not healthy but I always liked to think I could handle anything by myself #That was even the whole point of this blog. It was supposed to serve as a conduit for these feelings #And I’m not saying I don’t have a support system. I do. I have many wonderful friends #But I struggle to be vulnerable at all tbh and whenever I am I’m guilty ab it bc #I understand so many people have busy lives & I feel like an emotional burden on them by venting #Despite them telling me that it’s totally fine. Obvi a therapist is literally paid to listen so no guilt there #And I think that’s what I need #I’m not like on the brink of a psychotic break or anything but it’s just little things. I think it’d be nice to sit in someone’s office for #One hour a week and just go. That did bother me actually. I am tired actually. I do feel that way actually. #Rather than just burying my feelings w school and a busy schedule #I don’t think therapy will make me any less of a workaholic anytime soon but it’ll at least allow me to slow down one hour a week #And also not bottle shit up so fuckin much #But ya all of this is to say I’m drafting the email to her RIGHT now . #Starting the day off strong by oversharing on tumblr dot com

[liliumaa]

you got what youve been asking for

[ID: First image shows two sketches of Fierceteeth from Wings of Fire. A thin nightwing dragon with horns that curve downwards. The sketch on the left show's a bust shot from the front of her looking frustrated while her eyes look off to the left. The right sketch shows another front facing shot of her screaming in anger. The background is red. The second image is the same except the background is grey]

#when youre self destructive or whatever teehee #wof #eye burn #wings of fire #fierceteeth wof #lily's art #i think this counts as eye burn #tbh nothing tagged as eye burn bothers me but it bothers everyone else i know is something wrong w me #guess this is a vent #feeling pretty fierceteeth these recent times #i have the constant urges to scream and yell at people around me to make a point #times like these were everything you say ends up coming out wrong ya know? #cant forgive yourself for anything? #just rambling this out somewhere

[cremanata]

it’s my birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#im officially 25 i think we should freeze time now #also #if you don't mind me self-reflecting and venting on the tags a bit: #tbh i haven't been feeling very well mentally or physically for a handful of days now #something 'happened' that pretty much just shattered me for a bit lmao #'shattered me' sounds super dramatic but like. it is pretty much like that shdjshd #not sure if i want to share the details of that yet since i don't really talk much about my personal life #but yeah it's just been tough to pull myself together to exist and get things done #i ended up taking a bit of a break from drawing because of it #but i'll try to get back into the swing of things now! #birdays are days for h a p p i n e s s #cremanatalk

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

#honestly? honestly? #last week i told the two (2) godawful egomaniac lab head Man In Academia bosses i quit and that we need to formalise it asap and i just #felt like a little feather about to float away on a breeze #maybe now i can do normal people things like eat and sleep and have a routine of some sort idk #i have been slowly losing it for at least 3-4 years now #i took a screenshot and last year i had no fewer than 14 fucking travel orders fulfilled #most of which consisted of like 12+ hour days on ships and docks #i'm just so tired man #not for reblogging obviously #i don't really wanna vent anymore or ponder them and the entire godforsaken institution but like #good riddance tbh #which is really really sad when you think about it! but here we are #it was just... no trace of future anywhere to be seen! entirely a Void!! #gonna post a beefy lesbian paladin real quick to push this post down lmao #but i felt like sharing because i know there's good and concerned people who follow me here and i both appreciate and miss you all #and lord knows some of you have been listening to me vent and whine for ages #am i going to miss some great people and the research community of my field? of course but also it was all just completely unsustainable

[cathalbravecog]

veep dad comfort art

#veep dad :] #i have Not been well mentally tbh the second im with friends i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways ill be VENTING A TINY BIT HERE #i need excitement in my life but im like #has no social life #oopsies...! #so i thought yknow what would make me happy rn. My Veep Dad #yea thats it #also ive been struggling with motivations to play ttcc and draw so.... #apologies for being in the game less. especially as im in the post game with almost everything done #im usually kinda really goal oriented in games and yeah having no tasks or close friends to play with #im just kinda THERE and getting that initial push to do stuff is very hard #my motivation has just been at an all time zero (again) and it upsets me bc i do wanna do stuff...not bc ohh productivity but bc #i just wanna HAVE FUNNNN #anyways erm.... thanks for listening to my little rant here again. i dont know where else to express this sort of stuff. feels wrong to dum #it on strangers who i know are there for my art but. whatever. yknow #just wish i was more motivated in general but my life is Just Kinda Sad and im an Antisocial Anxious Wreck Dear Cog #senior vice president #sr vp #veep dad #personal tag if i dont wanna main tag.... #doodles #traditional art #guz art #toontown

[kawareo]

Story reached a point where i have to introduce a new conflict and i do have it fully worked out but its stressing me out whether it'll come off good or not, i'll take a nap and try to figure it out tomorrow

#i just gotta get in the 'i dont care if people like it #'im writing for ME' mood tbh #but this last chapter's been killing me for some reason #its still fun dont get me wrong but somehow i am struggling way more than usual #vent post #kawa rambles

[an-actual-floof]

comfort android

#yeah that’s me i’ve just been having a bit of a Day lol #does this count as a vent?? just needed some android hugs tbh #different art style than usual but i just wanted to try it out for a doodle #star trek #star trek tng #star trek the next generation #data soong #data tng #data star trek #lt commander data #vent #star trek fanart #data fanart #tng fanart

[sysig]

I’m just saying I think he has a type (Patreon)

#Doodles #Wander Over Yonder #Commander Peepers #Sylvia #Black Eye #I guess technically sort of lol #The implication of ♪ The lead-up to ♫ #I read Peepers as bi with a preference towards men and Sylvia his inverse lol #They work well as mlm/wlw solidarity too! Including understanding each other in That Bi Way y'know? #But I do also think that Sylvia is his type haha ♪ All these things can be true at once! Relationships are complex and ever-changing! #I also think it works best one-sided on Peepers' end - Sylvia is busy! And as just stated relationships are complex #Not just in trying to keep a relationship - they do see each other fairly often! - but also in keeping it private to both of their comforts #Being found out by their counterparts would be interesting hehe ♪ Wander would support them of course #Hater would probably be furious even just at knowing Peepers had a crush on her tbh - feeling lonely but also worried about intel haha #He's smart he's not going to go around leaking information like that! If anything he'd probably just be more ruthless to vent his feelings ♫ #''Grop-darn Zbornak with her ability to bench me and stomp me into the dirt >O('' lol #The interpretation of him thinking he's sick over thinking he's romantically entangled is so correct #I also like the thought of Sylvia immediately having a repulsion reaction to finding out that Peepers likes her haha #''He WHAT??'' Wander would probably not help in her coming around just infodumping all his good points that she's not interested in lol #But then seeing him being that perfect little mixture of pathetic and competent that Peepers exemplifies <3 What's not to like about him #They have the right dynamic to get close! They have the potential! Fumbling and awkward the whole way but what other way is there hehe #It'd be so fun to watch ♪ What's there is already so fun to watch!

[leafie-draws]

it sucks how even if u have someone blocked on here you can still see their posts being reblogged by others like I keep seeing my abusive ex friend's art everywhere and it sucks! AAAAAAAAAAA

#leafie speaks #personal #like they're a pretty popular artist now so i guess it's to be expected but ugh #after knowing them on a personal level it's hard to see past the awful stuff and I can't even say who they are for my own safety like hhhhh #I just don't want to be reminded of that stuff ugh #*angry barking* #vent #AND tbh this shit happened like 10 years ago so they might be a better person now who knows idk I at least hope so #it doesn't change what they did to me and others #manipulating someone and pretending to be their friend in order to be mutuals with someone is incredibly messed up #and then copying/stealing their art and blocking them like??? #idk.. I just hope that me and the other people they've hurt can heal and learn to trust again. being an artist is hard enough.

[ch3rie-pop]

I’m here

It’s been a couple months. My mom restricted tumblr from my phone and uuuh, I can’t download anything without her knowing so that’s cool. I’m tired. I’m tired but I finally figured out the screen time passcode to my phone so I thought I’d talk with you all because I think some people might care 🤷‍♀️

It use to be bad (my mental state), but it’s mellowed out, I got use to it I guess. That being said I’m not sure about creating content too much, finding the time and motivation to is very difficult. It hurts coming back here and not feeling at home anymore. I don’t feel the same about art and I feel bland. Really meh. I want to go back but even if I tried to I think I’d just get beaten into the ground again (<- not literal please don’t call the cops).

That’s it I think. I love you very much and I hope you’re doing better than me right now.

#beloved mutuals #<- I can’t yell right now #sorry #I knew I’d freaking cry when I came back here ehdjsirhekwhdishd #emotionally drained #kind of a vent #? #I feel like I’m just being honest #But I do love you #I love you very much #Tumblr in general #Maybe not some of you (inkstargirl) but most of you were everything to me #And then you were gone #It’s not your fault and maybe not even mine #maybe that’s just how things work #which is so disgusting tbh :/ #But hey #We’re alive #we’ll do the best that we can #I feel gross #like hallow and crusty #Very dry #I hate it #I don’t think I’ll be the same after everything that’s happened #I’m fine #I think.

[strawglicks]

need more firesetter content of graham being horribly pathetically downbad for flint

#toontown #toontown corporate clash #ttcc #graham payser #graham ness payser #toontown pacesetter #flint bonpyre #toontown firestarter #firesetter #its about the cocky self absorbed asshole being absolutely pathetic around their S/O #do u understand . #tbh i think theyre both cringefail and downbad for each other #but its even funnier with graham bc he ACTS like hot shit . #it also just makes sense to me bc flint seems to be the only person graham is vulnerable around .. #like in MOTM where hes having a meltdown and he vents to flint abt it #or in his disciplinary records where it mentions him “slacking off” when he was actually just burnt out . #and he went to a building in the brrrgh which is flint's district #so it could be assumed he went to see flint bc he was burnt out and needed some support .. #idk does this make sense im half awake

[bestjeanistmonster]

Been reflecting a bit on the announcement i gave in early February about just coming clean about all the details of Oz au and not keeping anything hidden and how i posted that cuz the constant questions i received asking me to reveal Sonic’s backstory made me feel really guilty about keeping it under wraps

So to cut to the chase im not planning on revealing all the backstory of oz au right away anymore cuz the idea of just straight up revealing it all isn’t appealing to me and im trying to unlearn the belief that i personally owe ppl content and stuff and remembering that im sharing this for fun

Im just gonna revealing aspects of it when i feel like it (which is honestly for the best cuz there are so many different parts of it involving different ppl and it’s like a big domino effect)

#this isn’t targeted at anyone in particular btw i just wanted to vent this out #we’ve barely even scratched the surface of stuff in oz au (and dc au especially) #if anyone asks me straight up what caused Sonic to lose it in oz au im most likely just gonna ignore it tbh #vent tw #tw vent #oz au #wizard of oz au