#just let bros be homos

[someevillord]

Darf ich vorstellen, die "brüder":

SIND DIE BRÜDER IN THE ROOM WITH US ??

#tatort saarbrücken #spatort #das glauben die doch selber nicht #just let bros be homos #hat irgendwer die brüder gesehen

[qprstobin]

Steddie au where Steve is good with reading people! He knows Eddie is flirting with him/thinks he's hot! And he's honestly happy that Eddie feels comfortable flirting and being himself with Steve!!!!

The obliviousness hits here where Steve doesn't realize why HE enjoys the flirting so much

#i wrote this at 3am and drafted it instead of tagging it and posting lol #flirt platonically with ur bro to let him kno u support him #best case eddie would probably be crushing a bit but knows its supposed to be platonic #they probably had a whole conversation about it about boundaries and shit #this i think also fits in with the eddie fell first but steve fell harder trope idjgirejgaerg #bc eddie is just crushing but fine with living in limbo and once steve clocks onto the fact that he is attracted to eddie #he is in full yes homo love with the man #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things

[cruelsister-moved2]

bro we are wilburys its okay to let me into your heart bro

#imagine if a guy wrote multple songs about how bad he wants to get into your heart pleassseeee let me see your heart bro i just want a peek #please can i grow upon you (no homo)

[ohara-n-brown]

I know 'no homo' is an extremely outdated and unnecessary term but can we please keep 'no romo'

Like just for the aros.

Please. Please I want to keep saying no romo cause it's really funny to me. Like bro kiss me. No romo though. Let's go on a date no romo

will you accept my hand in marriage no romo

they lived together 40 years but absolutely no romo

#it works for anything #can we keep it PLEASEEEEEE #aromantic #aromantism #aromance #aroace #aroallo #aspec #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #aro #aro pride #arospec

[gremlingottoosilly]

König with a reader who in general perfectly falls into his desired stereotypical feminine housewife trope, but her personality is kind of tomboyish? And by that I mean she is literally a teenage boy in a grown woman’s body. Unironically calls him bro and everything.

Perfect wife alert??? Konig would obviously love any woman who is living with him and not trying to murder him in his sleep, but having a pretty housewife darling who will greet him with breakfast in bed and some unfunny immature joke about his mom because she was feeling silly?? Is he in heaven?? He gets to cuddle you in the morning, and you'd just say "no homo" all the time, so he gets into weird logical constructions on whether or not he could be gay while loving and being with a woman.

You're making him confused all the time!! He was trying to cover his crude army jokes at first, with no mentions of blood, sex, and other unpleasant things - hell, he was trying to not even curse in your presence, only occasionally letting himself go in German because he didn't want to make the lady feel uncomfortable...and then you drop the pan while trying to cook some cute little pancakes for him, and you construct such an obscure and elaborate mountain of profanity, that Konig just...stares in awe. You literally just taught him at least three new curse words. Good for you. Konig doesn't really understand a lot of Gen Z memes, but he loves the way you could twist some immature joke into a reason to suck him off by a kitchen counter - just the way you initiate sex is almost perfect, making him desire you more and more. You're a perfect girlfriend to show off to his friends - you're cool and funny, playing videogames with them and tossing yourself over Konig's lap without a care in the world. You tell him a your mom joke, and he genuinely laughs for the rest of the weak, every time he remembers it.

#cod #konig x reader #konig #cod x reader

[butch--dean]

Spn revival (re this post): Dean doesn’t ever acknowledge Cas’s feelings but he does pointedly drink out of straws in front of him. Hoping that Cas will pick up the hint (he doesn’t). Dean sulks the entire time, but grows more and more physically affectionate with Cas, assuming he thinks they’re just no homo bro touches because he hasn’t said anything. This devastates him but he continues to let it happen. The season culminates in Dean and Cas standing under an umbrella together in the rain, drinking from the same glass of sweet tea together, each using their own straw. They’re standing outside of their newly purchased home. Their boots and shoulders touch. They never kiss

#in one episode Dean is desperately trying to figure out a way to bring John back Lebanon style #Dean pretends it’s because they need John’s expertise on some case but really it’s because he wants to goad him into calling him gay #for using a straw to drink from #it’s a convoluted way to admit his feelings to Cas without having to say it aloud #it doesn’t work #destiel #spn #my stuff

[tgcg]

part 1 of something specific

TG: oh my god you get it

CG: OF COURSE I FUCKING DO, DAVE. I’LL ALLOW MYSELF CREDIT FOR ONE GOOD THING, AND THAT’S THE FACT THAT I KNOW HOW TO CONSUME MEDIA CORRECTLY.

TG: you understand me

TG: so many damn times ive tried to turn john over on this business and he doesnt listen

TG: like you dont need to be gay to see how naruto and sasuke are the romance of the fuckin century man its not rocket science dare i say it is elementary level 

CG: IT’S BASIC READING COMPREHENSION, I AGREE.

CG: I’M NOT ABOUT TO EVEN *TRY* TO UNDERSTAND EARTH’S BIASES TO CERTAIN FORMS OF ROMANCE, BUT IS IT LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH GUYS?

TG: i dunno i dont think hes like

TG: homophobic or something

TG: i think if anyone is the number one ally to anything its probably john yknow hed have your back bro if you were all up and being bisexual on earth and people werent scrambling hand over foot away from you because youre an alien 

TG: but just because you were that 

TG: thing

TG: bisexual

CG: YEAH, THAT THING.

TG: he wouldnt care man

TG: he wouldnt give a shit or fuck about it probably

CG: SPEAKING OF LABELS THOUGH!

TG: aw man are you about to pull out the quadrant shiz on my boys

TG: are you gonna tell me naruto and sasuke got a hate on for each other or something cus thats 

CG: OH JEGUS NO, DAVE. THAT WOULD BE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP’S GROWTH AND THEIR ENTIRE DYNAMIC, NEVERMIND THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY ITSELF.

TG: alright lay it on me shercock homos ill be your watson watching you with the big twinkling eyes of a newborn fawn

TG: sleuth this shit like you were there when kishimoto invented it

TG: his alien understudy rises from the caverns of anime hell clutching the scroll of one universally understood truth and with his otaku disciples there to listen he takes a deep breath and delivers his groundquaking sermon to the masses

TG: jesus take the mic

CG: I’M CLUTCHING THE MICROPHONE IN MY CALLOUSED AND BONE-DRY TOUCHSTUMPS, BODY WEARY AND ON THE BRINK OF CAVING IN ON ITSELF, BUT I SPEAK WITH A STALWART DETERMINATION THAT WILL RING TRUE THROUGHOUT THE COSMOS FOR SWEEPS TO COME. THEY WILL WRITE MY FUCKING WORDS IN THE STARS, DAVE. IT’LL BE ALL THEY HAVE LEFT OF ME EVENTUALLY, BECAUSE I’LL PREACH IT HARD AND FEVERISH UNTIL THIS MORTAL COIL DECIDES IT’S FINALLY HAD ENOUGH OF PUTTING MY PATHETIC HALF-CORPSE THROUGH THE RINGER BY MAKING ME GET UP EVERY MORNING LIKE IT’S SOME KIND OF JOKE, AND FINALLY LETS ME KEEL OVER. THAT, DAVE, IS MY CRUCIFIXION. IT REPEATS ITSELF, OUROBOROS-LIKE, EVERY CYCLE, AND MAY WELL LAST UNTIL THE COLLAPSE OF PARADOX SPACE ITSELF SINCE THEY APPARENTLY FIND IT SO INCREDIBLY HILARIOUS. THEY BETTER MARTYR THE FUCK OUT OF ME. YOU BETTER PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT I AM MARTYRED TO *SHIT*.

TG: done and done

CG: THANK YOU. WHERE WAS I? OH RIGHT. NARUTO SHIP ANALYSIS.

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #meteorstuck #is what this is #comix #something specific

[nonotnolan]

Group Project

"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."

"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."

Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.

Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"

"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"

Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."

"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."

Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"

"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.

He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."

"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.

"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."

Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.

"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"

Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.

"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"

The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"

He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.

#male body swap #gay body swap #jock to nerd #swapper #muscle jock #nerd #straight to gay

[aberrantred]

Oh shit, bro, I think you accidentally sent a picture of your delicious bush over discord. Yeah dude, you had your pants down and you were looking into the camera all weird like. And what's even more embarrassing? It looks like my phone went and saved it. Ugh, I'm sorry man, you know my phone's breaking and I can't afford a new one right now. It won't let me delete any images either. But it's okay, don't worry! We're friends, right? Just bros. I promise I'm not gonna accidentally open it while I'm going through all my pictures of you, and I definitely won't jack off to it when I miss you, and I would never let myself imagine cumming all over it, and then imagine you in the shower trying to rinse all my cum out. We're just two guys being bros, no homo!!! Hahaha anyway wyd

#t4t ftm #t4t nblm #t4t nsft #nb nsft #nsft ftm #nsft trans #trans nsft #mtf nsft #mlm

[ellewelle]

Just bros being dudes

In book twenty four Achilles “longs for his manhood” and by that point he has brises back. platonic yeahhhhh sureeee.

“Now you lie here slaughtered, and my heart has no want of food or drink i only want of you” yeah, straight

Have his ashes mixed with his boyfri- I mean best friends ashes. Yep, just besties

Calling his “bestie” his most beloved on several occasions. Mhm, totally not gay

Literally going insane after pats death. Yuppers, no homo there

Crying so loud the gods at the bottom of the goddamn ocean could hear him. Totally hetero

“Why true heart do you come hither to lay these charges upon me. I will of my own self do what you have bidden me.” Yes yes, only the straightest of friends call each other true heart

"Draw closer to me, let us once more throw our arms around one another and find comfort in the sharing of our sorrows."

using the same language to mourn patroclus as andromache used for hector. really good mates

Heterosexuals you say? Surreeeeeeeee

edit: I love how no one has openly objected to this post

#tsoa #iliad #achilles and patroclus #achilles x patroclus #patrochilles #no homo here #incorrect tsoa quotes #But this couldn’t be gayer #It’s five am and I really need to sleep #The fact that is is from the Iliad and not a Shakespeare or Plato work #Y’all can’t convince me this isn’t gay #I sent this to my friend asking her what she thought and she thought it was from Ao3 #no she has not read the Iliad

[electraslight]

fave bevin headcanons ??? ik u probably have answered this and dgaf but I love them and love hearing ur ideas and opinions they're always so great ☹️❤️‍🔥( im a lurker so I apologize for the lack of interaction !!!!! )

hiii taking a break in my no tumblr run to prosteleytize abt bevin, here are some loose headcannons

-kevin had a running joke going for a bit where he would not let ben out of the car until he gave him a kiss on the cheek aka Kiss Tax especially when people who weren't ben gwen and kevin were also in the car. he thinks the way ben gets mad about it is very funny, but it kind of backfires on him because ben stops getting mad and just does it and now every time he drives ben somewhere he gets a kiss. hes considering making the ride tax something more embarassing, like kissing with tongue.

-kevin sleeps with such a wide berth that he will somehow be on top of someone during any nap, even if the person is sitting feet away. the only one who's ok with being snored and drooled on is ben, because he is constantly cold and appreciates a bro snuggle

-ben and kevin do that scoobly do shit when theyre scared (a la jumping into each others arms n high pitched screaming)

-u may at this point be like 'hey these aren't bevin headcannons this is just them doing mildly gay best friend stuff' and to this i raise u this: i feel like, if ben and kevin were to ever aknowlege their feelings for each other, they wouldn't be the type of ppl to 'date'. theyre kind of beyond dating at this point, arent they? their relationship isnt really defined by human terms, as theyre both distanced from a lot of human social norms (kind of teetering on the brink of human and alien) and also theyve been through so much shit it would be weird to suddenly go through the human rituals of 'hold hands and go to resturants and introduce him to the parents blah blah blah'. they're more than that, and the way they go about being in love is kind of the same way they're friends, still joined at the hip and ragging on each other, still getting into fights and willing to kill and die for each other. its like being best friends and being 30 year married people at once. theyre sure theres some alien word for it, but they dont really care. ben is kevins and kevin is bens, and thats how they roll. and they make out with tongue. duh.

(clarifying for ppl w no reading comprehension: they are in gay homo love but they dont put labels like 'boyfriend' or 'dating' on it bc once youve held another boys hand and made the choice to destroy your body to save him twice + your lover learned what it meant to be a hero from u and you are a symbol of hope for him and he is for u you cant really just be like 'heres my bae' now can you. relationship anarchy win.)

#ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 alien force #ben tennyson #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 classic #kevin levin #ben ten #b10 #bevin #ben10

[therainscene]

It’s funny that Bylers are so often accused of being delusional, because I was at my most delusional when I was anti-Byler.

I spent most of S4 refusing to acknowledge that Will had romantic feelings for Mike, despite knowing damn well what all that love triangle imagery and sad gay pining was implying. I convinced myself it was just bros before hoes drama; that perhaps Will wanted to come out to his best friend but felt nervous after six months of radio silence following “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

The van scene forced me to accept that he really was in love, and it pissed me off because what was even the point of making him fall for a straight boy?

Mike’s bizarre “no homo” behaviour was clearly a symptom of growing up in a conservative 80s household, and witnessing Will’s sacrificial act of love in the van was the shitty lesson he needed to get over his homophobia.

I saw a typical straight male protagonist in an 80s coming-of-age film getting to coast his way to self-actualization on the back of queer suffering; a cruel and homophobic trope I thought we’d moved past by the year 2022.

But then the NINA reunion scene rolled around--

--and I immediately picked up on the heavy parallels between Mike and Will in how they greeted El. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks: Mike feels the same way about her as Will does.

I thought, “wait, does this mean I was wrong about...? Oh my god. No way.

No fucking way.

Will was in love with El this whole time?? What the fuck, he’s been gay since S1 and she’s his sister this is BULLSHIT I will personally strangle the Duffers--”

Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, kids.

Let this be a lesson to those of you who think media illiteracy is to blame for Byler denial -- how well someone understands the mechanics of storytelling is irrelevant if they insist on treating Mike’s supposed heterosexuality as an axiom instead of an evidence-based conclusion. The issue lies with bias, not literacy.

I was stubbornly anti-Byler because I knew I’d immediately fall in love with this ship if I allowed myself to have hope it could be canon, and the general state of queer rep in mainstream media meant I was all but guaranteed to get hurt if I was so stupid as to have hope. But in my desperation to cling to the “safe” heteronormative outcome, I only ended up hurting myself with my own silly assumptions.

We’ve seen both canonically gay characters in the show make exactly this mistake, needlessly hurting themselves with their silly but self-defensive assumptions about their love interests.

Stranger Things absolutely nails its depiction of the subtler ways internalized homophobia can manifest -- Will may feel like a mistake and be prone to beating himself up, but he isn’t some pitiful self-loathing queer who wishes he was straight, either. He’s just so crushed by heteronormativity that he accepts it as an inescapable fact of life and lets it guide his beliefs and actions.

Don’t get me wrong: Will, like Robin, is very sensible for being cautious in such a horrifically bigoted environment -- trying to openly defy that level of homophobia by yourself, especially when you’re young, is a bad idea.

But unlike Robin, he clearly struggles to accept that he has the right to chase his same-sex love interest. He's no longer simply exercising caution, but conforming to homophobic standards -- much in the same way I thought I was sensibly refusing to be queerbaited, when really I was just agreeing with the heteronormative status quo.

I realize now that this is the real reason Will was written into a homophobic 80s trope: not to teach Mike an outdated lesson in acceptance, but to maneuver Will into position for the lesson he’s going to learn in S5 about resisting conformity.

Will needs to learn that castrating himself to make straight people comfortable is a bad idea too. Not only is that a miserable way to live his life, but what sort of world is he leaving for the next generation of queer kids if he never questions these homophobic standards?

It’s just the cycle of abuse scaled up to the societal level.

This is what gives me confidence in Byler endgame. Queerness isn’t just an incidental element of Will’s personal arc, but suffuses the show to its very core -- it’s in its themes, its allegory, its characters.

So Will getting the boy isn’t just nice fan-service for Byler shippers, but a necessary ending if the show’s most important lesson is to land:

That it’s rewarding to make the difficult choice of standing up to bigotry in the face of forced conformity. Of choosing love.

Could it be the case that I was right the first time, and Stranger Things is going to turn out to be yet another heteronormative mainstream show that doesn’t commit to its own themes? Sure, maybe. But that wouldn’t invalidate the valuable lessons this show has already -- and apparently accidentally lol -- taught me.

Anyone who calls us deluded for hoping a mainstream show is going to have a gay pairing as its main couple just doesn’t realize -- or doesn’t care -- that they’re contributing to the very problem they’re describing.

#stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #robin buckley #my analysis

[bbeeew]

going to be in trouble for this ngl

STARDEW CHARACTERS AND WHAT I THINK THEIR (non-farmer) PARTNERS WOULD BE.

----------------------------------------------------------

• Harvey x Elliot

Like, c'mon. Your telling me the charismatic poet DOESN'T get with the anxious radio listener? And they don't have any interactions ever? None? Smh bros need to kiss at least once. Or maybe just have Harvey info dump about planes to Elliot and he makes cute little plane poems for him when he's upset or stressed or generally being himself.

• Sam x Sebastian

Lets be honest with ourselves. We knew this was going to be on here, so I'm not putting down anything else.

• Maru x Penny x Abigail

This one will be long, so buckle in.

Maru and Penny were already best friends for being real good at academics. Maru and Penny like Abigail cause she's adventurous and outgoing and low-key hot. And Abigail likes Penny and Maru cause at first it was help with homework (Penny is such an easy mark to cheat off of, and Maru was Sebastian's half sister so also easy access) and then all 3 of them have an identity crisis of "oh no, I like 2 people, and they're BOTH GIRLS" but then they all meet up and do that awkward confession where one person was going to but the others started as well and its really silly except Abigail was just louder so as Penny and Maru were like "no you can go first" girl was just like "Y'ALL HOT A.F."

• Emily x Sandy

Again, we knew this would be on here. Gemstone and star signs lesbian meets cocky road trip and pot lesbian and they hit each other's joints we know this.

• Alex x Haley

Not in the jock x cheerleader way, but in the "my past has probably lead me to be a masochist" x "my past has probably lead me to be a sadist"

• Leah

I don't think she has a town partner, but she definitely finds a cute chick while visiting zuzu city for a trip with sandy (cause they bros no homo) that's really into foraging and that girl moves in with her. Her name would be like Zoey or Cindy or something.

• Shane

for Shane I think he is somewhat aro/ace (willing but not needed or nessisarily wanted) so he just wouldn't, but if he did it'd be some sort of qpr with Emily (w/o kissing. Watching you people. Girl is still a lesbian homeboy just needs physical affection once in a while.)

#stardew valley #stardew shane #sdv #stardew sebastian #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv harvey #stardew #sdv elliott #sdv haley #sdv leah #sdv emily #sdv maru #sdv penny #sdv abigail #abigail sdv #maru sdv #emily sdv #leah sdv #haley sdv #sam sdv #sdv bachelors #stardew bachelors #sdv bachelorettes #stardew bachelorettes #sdv headcanons #Sdv romance headcanons #sapphic #wlw #lesbianism

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi I love your blog!

Any fics in which Stiles has to grovel Derek for forgiveness after messing up? I can only find this trope reversed with Derek grovelling but I'd really love to read some where it's the other way around :)

A few.

but we were something (don't you think so?) by Melpomene (Aconitehart)

(1/1 I 9,127 I Explicit)

"This was a mistake," Derek declares. "Here," he tosses the car keys to Stiles, "go home. I'll take the acorn and plant it."

"Deaton said it had to be us!" Stiles protests. "That's why I'm here, because -"

Derek rolls his eyes. "Deaton told you that so you'd come, because he doesn't trust me." He pushes past Stiles. Once he has the stupid acorn and his phone, he'll just run to the coordinates and be done with it. Maybe after that he'll just keep running.

"Wait, just - let me explain."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"I can't drive stick!" Stiles lies. "If you leave me here then I'll be stranded and I'll starve to death."

Derek gives him an incredulous look. "Your Jeep is a manual."

"Just..." Stiles reaches out for him, fingers hooking around his belt loops. "Stay? Please." Stiles' eyes are big, shining. "I'll be quiet and pick up the gummy bears."

-

In which Derek and Stiles need to go on a roadtrip to plant an acorn.

Yarn Over & Pull Through by seraphina_snape

(1/1 I 9,960 I Teen)

 “Is there a point to this? If you’re not in danger, I’m going to hang up. I have other things to do." 

That was the perfect opening and it made Stiles smile like an angel. A fallen angel who’d just discovered that the dark side had better cookies anyway. “Other things - like recording another crochet instruction video?” he asked innocently. 

The silence on Derek’s end of the line spoke volumes. 

(AKA the one where Stiles discovers Derek has a YouTube channel and posts crochet tutorials …who knew crochet was so addictive?)

Aftershocks by 42hrb

(4/4 I 18,137 I Teen)

“I broke his heart.” Stiles said as Lydia held his face in her hands, using one perfectly manicured thumb to wipe away a tear that fell from his eye.

“Sweetie,” Lydia said softly, “I think you broke yours too.”

No Homo by orphanaccount

(12/12 I 84,092 I Explicit)

Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this: 3 FourLokos + 1 peer-pressuring cat - 1 best bro to end all best bros = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic". Derek is the fool who replies.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #break up #happy ending #college au

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 1:

My teen brother after finishing high school and going to the same college as me as a freshman, went though a major transformation inbetween summer break and starting college

In high school he had a lot of friends, more than I do now as a senior, and I never really herd him talk about sex or getting with anyone when he was in high school.

But whenever we’d go home after school and he’d have his friends over, they would always talk about how and who they were banging that week, my brother always had the most outlandish stories, talking about how how he’d use his big dick to fuck whatever brode it was in his story, all the moaning, and getting his face shoved into her boobs

I was kinda proud of him, I’ve only been with 3 girls myself, but what I was even more proud about was hearing how he had a big dick, I’ve seen my father’s one time on accident when I was a kid and was afraid that’s what I would peak at. luckily I’m probs 3 or 4 inches bigger than my old man. I was worried my brother didn’t get laid any in school cause he had my fathers dick size, but I guess I was wrong

I envied my brother benji , i always thought he was better looking than me, and I don’t know how he went from the popular class clown to one of the supposed fuck boi’s on campus in such a short time

His friends always thought it was a bit weird that benji would invite me to their smoke sesh and get High while they told their latest stories and I never seemed to have any

I typically would just zone out and watch the tv, as their stories would just become white noise to me while getting high

One day after his friends left, benji shortly came back and sat down next to me while I was zooted watching Rick and Morty, he was always better functioning while high, probs from smoking in high school too, so he had a couple years of experience, I only started smoking with him cause I was curious and didn’t have a connect myself…

Benji started talkin to me, and started asking some weird questions, but I tried not to pay any attention to them since I was so into my show

“Hey Christian, I have a question for you” he said trying not to seem needy for a answer

“Yuh” I said still staring at the tv

“Um how old were you when you first got laid” he said putting his hands together and leaning forward focusing on the tv with me

“17” I said

“And ummm… how big is your dick”

“Uh like 9 inches…. Um…. You?” I said Tilting my head a bit to look at him

“Um… 7, myself, why do you ask” he said seeming uneasy

“Bruh, chill, I don’t care, you asked first after all, what’s the problem bro, something wrong?” I said, turning back to the tv

“Um, I mean I guess, some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” it was as if I could feel him sink into the couch after he said that

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” i said laughing and reaching over to give him a brotherly tapping on his chest

“You think I’m good looking? haha thanks bro. just one more question, what’s your body count, or like how often do you get laid” he said laughing seeming to return to his happy self

“Um like 2 or 3” I said

“2 or 3 girls or times” he said looking directly at me shocked

“Times bro, now shut up, we can talk about this later” i said annoyed now

Thankfully benji decided to shut up for while… but I did decide to knock on his door before we both went to bed, so we can get up early and drive to campus…

***knock knock knock***

“hey bro, you good?” I said looking at him sitting down on his bed biting his lip, hair dangling down looking at his phone.

“Ya Chris, I’m good…” benji said not really seeming like he was in a good place

“Aye you sure ben? You know I’m here for you right? You’re my favorite little brother you know?” I said smirking

“I’m your only little brother” he said seeming to cheer up a bit”

“Ya I know” I said still standing at his door frame

“May I come in?”

“Ya”

I stepped into his room, which was kinda a mess but I don’t really blame him, my room was kinda the same when I was his age

“So um about some of the things you were talking to me about earlier, what was that about?” I said taking a seat in one of Beni’s gaming chairs, swinging it around so I can look at him

“Um it was nothing… just, some girl problems…. You know what I mean?” He said looking kinda sad at me

“I mean ya, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my heart broken before but I’m not like you Brosif, it almost seems like you and your buddies have a game going on to see who can fuck the most girls or something haha.” I said trying to relate to him

“That’s the problem bro” he said tossing himself on his bed but still facing his head towards me so I can here him talk

“I can get with chicks no problem, but none of them seem to wanna date me for some reason, and the few I have dated, cheated on me with guys they said had bigger dicks, said I wasn’t enough for them” he said looking very distraught now clinching a pillow to his chest

I felt bad for my bro, it seems he’s really trying, but just can’t find the right girl, I know how it feels to hurt like that.

“Man, like I said earlier, they must just be sluts if that’s all they care about bro, don’t stress about it bro, I’m sure in a couple years you won’t think about any of them again” i said walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder

“ but I don’t wanna wait years, I wanna form a connection with someone that cares for me bro, it fucking sucks” benji said as I saw a tear slip out his closed eyes

“I’m sorry man, maybe I can try to hook you up with one of my exes bro, some of them have told me they thought you were the cute brother anyways haha, they might be interested, you always liked hanging out with me and my girlfriends right?”

“Ya” he said voice trying not to break

“Ok then, I’ll start work on it tomorrow, get a good night sleep bro” I said heading to the door”

“And um, benji, just know, your never lonely as long as you have family, your a good person, good night, love you bro” i said closing the door heading back to my room

Once back in my room I hopped on my instagram, and was scrolling though posts when I saw a post from benji’s fanstagram (fake instagram account) where he shared a link about some necklace that looked kinda cool but clearly wasn’t real (the material I mean, definitely didn’t look like real silver). I checked the comments and I guess it was suppose to be some magic prop from a show or something, came with warning labels and all, but what does a necklace need a warning label for? Ya know what I mean haha?

Anyways the necklace was SUPPOSEDLY enchanted by a witch, and the wearer could swap bodies parts with other people when he wore the necklace and put on the clothes of the person he wanted to swap with.

I thought it was weird but decided to go ahead and purchase it anyways for him, sometimes ya just need to get a gift for one of your family members, plus I mean his birthday was in a few days anyways, luckily the deliver date was a day before his birthday, talk about coming in clutch haha.

The next day came by and was kinda uneventful, for some reason I was just really excited to see benji’s face when I give him his gift

I did however was able to get one of my ex’s “Beth” to agree to go on a date with him, even better was it was gonna be on his birthday too, guess I got him 2 gifts haha, when I told him he seemed really excited telling me I’m the best brother anyone could ask for

Another day gos by uneventful, benji telling me about all the idea’s he has for his date, asking me questions like what I think she’d like… I told him, “just be you, maybe hang out for a bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her to the lake and go for a swim” I said winking at him

“How am I gonna get there? It’s be kinda weird if you drove us, also kinda pathetic if she has to drive us” he said seeming like he was trying to hint at something

I rolled my eyes and tossed my keys at him “duh bro, you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap”

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” he said squinting his eyes at me

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” I said raising an eye at his question

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” he said back peddling

The rest of the night went as usual, play’ed some games, did homework, kept checking the mail all the way till 9 pm waiting for benji’s gift to come, it’d be ashame for it to arrive after his birthday, not really a birthday gift then is it?

The next morning I got dressed and ready to go to campus, benji was the first one out as usual and just waited in the car, but he did yell out the door that I had a package on the step

“This is it” I thought to myself “it arrived, good thing too, I’ll give it to him after school” my internal monologue continued as I ran down the stairs to grab it and ran back up to my room

I opened it up and saw the necklace in a plastic baggy, aslong with instructions…. “Who needs instructions for a necklace like seriously? How hard is it to put a necklace on haha”

It did look pretty cool, I decided to open it and try it on, my head was too big to just slide it over my head, so I had to unclasp it and clasp it again around my neck

Looking in the mirror on my dresser I decided it really did look good, and I should have gotten myself one too, that way we could match, but too late now I guess, could always check and see if they still have any later I suppose

For some strange reason I thought back to what the description said of the necklace, about how it could supposedly swap body parts by wearing other people’s cloths, and I know it’s dumb, but you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.

I didn’t have any of benji’s spare clothes in my room, but he did leave a pair of his shoes in my room from hanging out with me a lot

I took mine off including socks since if there’s a chance this would work, socks would probs mess with it, cause you know, socks are actually touching you, shoes just touch your socks

I managed to fit my feet in benji’s smaller shoes, they weren’t that much smaller than mine, but with me wearing size 12’s and him wearing 10.5’s they were small enough that I had to curl my toes to fit in them

I stood up with disappointment as I took a few steps and still felt my feet curled up…. I decided to sit back down and take them off. But when I did I was met with toenails that looked like they haven’t been clipped in over a month, strange since I just clipped mine last week…

A spark of hope was reignited as I noticed they seemed a bit smaller too

I stuck my foot back into benji’s vans and was shocked that I didn’t have to curl them to fit now… maybe I just had them so tense the first time I couldn’t feel that I didn’t need to curl them anymore…

I decided maybe this could be another gift for benji? Maybe let him live as the older brother for a week or something? If that’s what he wants of course…

I knew we were gonna be late to class if I spent too much time fucking off, so I decided to rush to benji’s room kicking his shoes off and striping. I opened his closet and grabbed a shirt and pair of pants and threw them on. I saw a pair of dirty underwear on the ground but decided against it, I feel like that would be too weird having my brothers junk

After waiting with my eyes closed for half a minute I opened them and saw that I looked a bit shorter, I mean after all benji was 5’10 compared to my 6’ so not to much of a difference. I decided to take my shirt off just to make sure I’m not crazy and saw my new chest and immediately knew it worked, I use to have a treasure tail on my stomach but not anymore sense benji could never grow one, plus my arms looked a bit thicker, not fat or anything, benji was far from that, but more like it looked like he went to the gym… once a week haha… not to mention benji weighed maybe 5 or 10 pounds more than me dispute being a couple inches shorter, I could see he, er I guess, I now had the beginnings of a faint 4 pack, I mean I had abs myself but they were from how skinny I use to be.

Now the Only issue, is I still had my old face, and I know benji didn’t wear any hats so that was an issue

Truthfully I wasn’t sure this would even work, not because I don’t believe in magic, I mean the shoe part proved me wrong, but because a lot of his clothes are hand me downs from me, but I guess aslong as he’s worn them it works?

I went back though his closet and found a hoodie that I’ve seen him wear before, I decided to put it on and zip it up, I put the hood over my head and pulled the strings so it covered as much of my face as possible and waited

“Please work, please let this count as a head article” i said outloud waiting

Wasn’t that long till I felt something touching my eyes

I let go of the strings and pulled back the hood still facing the mirror

“Yes! It worked” I said seeing benji’s face and much longer hair than mine

I was shocked to hear his voice, it definitely wasn’t mine but didn’t sound exactly like benji ether,

“is this how benji sounds to himself” i said aloud making faces in the mirror trying to get use to this

“Well I guess they do say due to vibrations in the skull, people think their voice is actually deeper than it actually is” I thought to myself as I tied benji’s shoes on and ran back to my old room and grabbing my old pair of shoes

Even tho this is crazy, I’m still thoughtful and knew benji must be feeling the shoe swap, if he hasn’t already noticed the rest of the swap

I ran down stairs and passed my mum on the way out “benji, I thought you all left already” she said not even bothering to stop preparing breakfast for when dad wakes up

“Ya I just had to grab something real quick, bye love you mom” I said continuing my way out the door

I got outside and continued running to the drive way, I got close enough and could see myself passed out in the passenger seat. I got closer and opened the passenger side door, seeing benji simply took his shoes off and relaxed instead of questioning what was happening

I tossed my old shoes at him and tossed my pair of keys on the lap waking him up

“Your driving Christian” i said winking at him

“Bro, what the fuck, why am I looking at myself” benji said pulling down the sun visor to check the mirror

“Holy shit, I’m you Christian! How is this possible” he said feeling his face

I pulled the necklace out from being tuck under the hoodie and shook it

“Remember this necklace you wanted?” I said still dangling the necklace

“You got it? And it actually works? Holy shit bro, this is crazy” benji said reaching into his pants feeling around

“Aye bro I think you forgot underwear” he said looking up at me

“Nah, I just felt like it’d be too weird to swap that, now any ways get up, your driving.” I said trying to get into the passenger side

Benji got in the driver seat and started it up, waiting 30 seconds for the engine to warm up before sticking it into drive

“So um, how long does this last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” benji said keeping his eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions manual but I didn’t think we’d need that, so As long as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or 2, but I’m definitely not doing a whole month haha… you can consider this a 3rd birthday gift I guess”

“Jeez thanks bro, but um, you do remember I have a date tonight right?” He said a bit annoyed at the timing of the swap

“Well, I mean we can always swap back after class. Or…. We could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure she wants a 2nd date and continue seeing you, ya know since you always seem to fuck shit up haha” i said laughing

“Not funny dude, but ya I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me, you’d know what she would like, and could probs seal the deal with getting her to date me” benji said pulling off the road into campus to park

“Sounds like a deal then” I said reaching over to shake his hand

“Deal” he said

After benji turned the car off and we got out I decided to make a joke about the situation before I headed to his class’s

“Have a good day Christian” i said putting emphasis on the name

“You too benji” he said doing the same

I went to benji’s classes and tried doing my best impression of him, especially sense one of benji’s friends that we typically smoke with decided to come sit by me

I decided to talk with him and boast about how I got a hot date with Christian’s ex “Beth” to which benji’s friend just absolutely lost it

“You got a date with Beth? Dude that’s insane, I always thought she was your brothers hottest ex, you tots gotta get pics and share them with me bro” he said dabbing me up

“I don’t know bro, I might just keep them all for myself dude haha” I told him smirking

The rest of the day went as usual, or as usual as I can imagine for a day as benji. My date with Beth wasn’t for another 2 hours but I was still gonna prepare and go though my brothers closet to find the right outfit for this.

The time came and I went to grab my keys from benji, since he still had them on him personally.

I did everything I thought Beth would like, and it worked, took her for a early dinner, then a movie, and after wards she still wanted to hang out. I proposed going for a swim down by the lake which she seemed down for. We drove back to her house first since it was closer and she needed to pick up one of her bikinis and then headed back to my place since I would also need to get a pair of swimming trunks or shorts to swim in.

I went up to my room and saw benji sitting there playing one of my games, he paused it when he herd me come in

“How’d he go, does she still wanna go out” he said turning around seeming nervous

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date? ” i said grabbing a bag and putting a pair of my black shorts in there and some towels

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” benji said smiling at me

Before heading out I left my bag next to benji as I went to take a piss, I could hear him leave the room and come back in a short amount of time. I came out the bathroom and saw him stuffing something into the bag

“What’s that” I said walking closer to grab my bag”

“Uh just some condoms, can’t be too safe right bro” he said stepping back seeming a bit weird, like I caught him doing something he shouldn’t

“Uh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” i said laughing grabbing the bag and heading out

It was only a short drive to the lake, I parked and we got out together but decided to separate for a bit to change out of our clothes.

I got behind a tree and opened my bag, I couldn’t seem to find my shorts, I pulled out my phone and turned the flashlight on, pulling the towels out and found something I wasn’t expecting, my shorts weren’t in there but a pair of of benji’s orange, white and black striped swimming trunks.

“God damit benji, I told you I didn’t wanna swap dicks, that’s fucking weird, but I guess I have no choice now” I thought to myself as I kicked my jeans off and slide his swimming shorts on

I started headed to the lake but realized something felt off, my dick didn’t want to sit as usual, which I guess is understandable sense I’m not use to having my brothers dick. I decided to check the damage out and pulled my shorts down a bit grabbing my smaller soft cock

“Fuck bro I’m like 5 inches soft, but benji is like 3.5 soft, at best, I kinda wanna say closer to 3… he just must be a grower” I thought to myself as I herd Beth yell “hurry up benji, I’m waiting for you”

I could see Beth in the water, I got in to get closer to her but once I was waist high in, I saw she just undone the top half of her bra letting it float towards me “ops” she said giggling covering her mouth

After seeing that I hurried up and proceeded to go deeper into the water till I reached her. “Oh my god, your so gorgeous in this light” i said as I went in for a kiss

Beth allowed it and got close enough to wrap her arms around me and kiss me back “funny, your brother once used the same line on me, but to be honest, I always thought you were the cuter one” she said inbetween making out with

“Haha, thanks I get that a lot” I said feeling my dick starting to grow. It must have touched her legs as we were kicking to stay afloat cause she knew where I wanted to go next “should we take this to the shore” she said guiding me to it anyways

“You know what you’re doing?” She said sliding the bottom half of her bikini down exposing herself to me

“Ya, I just hope your ready for this, I’m almost as big as Christian haha” i said pulling my pants down just to have to bite my pride with shock mixed in

Benji had lied to me about his size, he wasn’t 7 inches, no where near, I looked down was greated by my new 5 inches of glory

I could see Beth’s facial expression change a bit as she covered her mouth

Before she could laugh or say anything I decided to just stick it in

Truthfully I could see why a lot of girls passed on benji, I bet over half the campus is bigger than Ben, not to mention it was mere minutes and I was ready to blow

This is kinda embarrassing as fuck, I don’t want benji to remember me as the one that fucked up his date and chance of a long term relationship cause I couldn’t hold it on

I tried my best to remember where her g-spot was and eventually I found it, but I just couldn’t seem to hit it all the way, I simply didn’t have the length anymore, I was able to get quite a few moans out of her when I would get far enough in to graze her spot, but I’m not quite sure if it was because I was reaching it, or if they were moans out of sympathy trying to keep my ego in check

Another couple minutes go by and she starts pulling my body closer trying to get me as close and as far as she could get me inside of her, she was moaning telling me not to stop, and I tried not, if I could have lasted another 15 seconds, I might have gotten her to cum first or as the same time as me, but I couldn’t, I herd a metallic click from around my neck just as I started to cum and lose my rhythm right before I got her to finish.

“Fuck I said” panting pulling out and laying next to her “ I know I almost had you finish, I just barely beat you to the punch, I’m so sorry, not very gentleman like of me to not let you cum first haha” I said laughing trying to defuse the situation

“Well, you certainly don’t last as long as your brother, nor are you anywhere near as big, but I guess you did the best with what you had to work with, your lucky your cute you know, or else I might consider this a one night stand” she said laying there with her eyes closed for a few moments

“Ok, well, let’s get you home I suppose” i said getting up and offering her a hand up

I dropped her off walking her to her door, able to steal a good night kiss before separating for the night

I drove back home in a fury, benji almost fucked this up and he wasn’t even the one on the date!

I rushed up the stairs once I got home and went straight to my room, I opened the door ready to yell at benji but was left silent after being caught off guard. When I opened the door, I saw benji in my body, panting looking down at himself, no pants on, underwear halfway pulled down and cum falling off my big dick

“You didn’t!” I said loudly surprising him

“Uh uh uh, Christian, this isn’t what it looks like” he said panicking

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding when I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw that I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right as you finished jerking off in my body!” I said angrily

“Uh uh, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself, I noticed my dick didn’t feel right, so I checked it out, and then I got hard from looking at it, and I just couldn’t help myself” benji said back tracking

“What ever dude, your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” i said grabbing some of my clothes and a spare beanie off the ground

“I thought you said we could stay swapped for atleast a week!?” Benji said defensively moving to the door

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t want to swap junks with you, who wants a smaller dick? Not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4. Now get out!” I said slamming the door on him

I kicked my shoes off stripped naked putting on all my old clothes, and layed on my bed waiting a couple minutes to swap back before I got up

I opened my eyes and looked at the mirror positioned so that I can see myself on my bed. I was surprised to still be greated by benji’s shit eating face

“What the fuck” I said outloud heading to benji’s room to get him to put the necklace on and swap us back

I walked in and he acted shocked to still see me as him

“Did you change your mind” he said smirking

“No as you can see I’m wearing my old clothes but nothing happened” i said trying to unclasp the necklace to give it to him but failing. “Now help me get this necklace off”

Benji came over and tried unclasping to no prevail.

Benji laughed and said “hold on” as he yanked the necklace making the clasp break so the necklace would come undone

Benji made a big ole show about picking up some of his clothes and putting them on before loosely tangling the necklace so it was kinda tied around his neck “did you ever read the instructions” he said trying not to smile but failing

“No, what could be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” i said

“A magic necklace, and well, in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep the parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerk off, sex, whatever gets you to blow” he said looking at me with a full blown shit eating grin

“And well, you already had sex with Beth in my body right?”

“Ya” I said slowly realizing what this ment

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” he said

We waited there for a solid two minutes before I finally broke

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back? What the fuck is wrong with you dude, now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” I said tears starting to form in my eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not to long ago, “”who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body, knowing you’d probably try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in yours so I can keep this” benji said putting his hand in his pants

“So if I was you, id get use to being the little brother in more than 1 way benji, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” my brother said laughing to me, putting emphasis on his name.

#body swap #bodyswap #male body swap #mtm #permanent #male bodyswap #permament bodyswap

[ehrenyu]

One day I'm going to write a fic from SQH's POV and there's gonna be a giant elephant in the room. A horror element whenever he's chatting with SY!SQQ. Something off that he just gets progressively guiltier about.

SQH's System was abundantly clear that this was his hell (it was in his notes during a major depressive episode). That he deserved to live in the world he made and suffer the consequences.

Meanwhile, Peerless Cucumber never let up while SQH was alive. Was always there for him every time he posted. Basically aired out SQH's own grievances against the state of his writing. SQH didn't jokingly ask for rich fuck Peerless Cucumber to be his patron because...

🥒-bro was a ghost account. SQH created Shen Yuan. Used his own money to buy every chapter to rip it to shreds. It was therapeutic and deranged but it generated traffic like you wouldn't believe.

SY is exactly how he was written: madly in love with LBH and repressed about it and pissed that PIDW didn't have more monster lore and less papapa scenes. LBH deserves a happy ending!! WHERE WAS IT AIRPLANE !

SQH is in hell because his best friend-anti fan-meme generator is as imaginary as everyone else in this damned world. An NPC who holds the reins of their reality and is doing a bad job at making LBH happy because 🥒-bro refuses to let himself be happy.

Ironic!! Just like his Dad!! Hahahahaha!!

Shang Qinghua is in hell but acts like nothing is wrong. He can't be OOC towards his Frenemy Bestie, his greatest black powder fan, his greatest real life con. It would break SY if he actually thought through the ramifications. Ha! Who was he kidding? 🥒-bro would probably brush it off like his 'homo? Me? Pah! No homo!' tendencies

SQH wants to lock himself in a room and sob himself hoarse but his eyes are dry and his smile remains stretched tightly over his teeth while SY rambles and complains about shit that doesn't really matter.

In this world SQH is the NPC and Cucumber-bro is the Godly Protagonist with wife beam eyes.

The translucent System-faced android next to him, scoring his every interaction and completely undetectable to anyone else, doesn't help either.

#svsss #headcanon #Fic idea #Shang Qinghua #unreality AU #scum villain #scum villian self saving system