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jadevine · 5 months

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Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/

I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.

Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask

Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember

Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.

If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."

And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

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UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.

But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!

Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.

Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.

The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.

Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )

#writing #preindustrial #horse riding #horse care #writing advice #medieval

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milomossy · 3 months

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Jan 2024

Drain version idk

#cod ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #cod #cod mw2 #digital art #drawing

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urrockstar-xe · 4 months

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math test - p.parker x fem!reader

posted jan 27th, 2024 3:28 pm

came up with this cutesy idea the other day, hope u enjoy :)

summary: Peter's tired of allowing Spider-Man to be a shitty boyfriend, so he makes up for it the only way he can think of that wouldn't get you in trouble.

masterlist

not proofread

wordcount: 0.8k

It was nearing 2 in the morning when Peter slowly lifted his window open from the outside, not so gracefully falling inside once it was a wide enough gap, followed by him stumbling several times as he tried to close his window while simultaneously trying to take off the red and blue spandex suit that so badly needs a wash.

The sound of his old bed frame creaking caught Peter’s attention once he finally pulled on some sweatpants.

He whipped around, his gaze immediately falling to your half-asleep figure in his bed, a familiar sight now, one Peter had adored. Your half-opened eyes tried to focus on his silhouette.

“Shit, hey sweetheart I didn’t mean to wake you” Peter’s whispered apology was laced with a soft muffled tone as he pulled a hoodie over his head, not bothering to fix his hair as he made his way towards his bed. “Didn’t know you were sleepin’ over tonight” He said with a tired smile playing on his lips, the bags under his eyes failing to distract you from the beauty that was your sleep-deprived boyfriend as you merely scooted over for him to join you.

“Supposed to help me study for that test” you mumbled, no malice in your voice, no hints of irritation, not even a slight sadness to your voice at the thought of him forgetting about your plans. All you cared about at this moment was your boyfriend cuddling with you, using all your energy to open your arms for him to slide into.

Peter stopped dead in his tracks, looking down by the nightstand and seeing your backpack on the floor, a math book sitting on the floor beside it next to a few pens. So that’s what he tripped on when he came in.

“Oh, man. I’m sorry, doll. We can work on it first thing in the morning, swear.” Peter promised, giving into what you wanted and sliding in bed next to you, wasting no time in wrapping you in his arms.

“It’s due tomorrow, and I have to leave early for that dumb field trip.” You mumbled into his shoulder, not meaning to but making Peter feel all the worse for forgetting as he softly smoothed his hand up and down your back.

By the time Peter woke up the next morning you had already left, leaving behind a note on his desk.

”don’t think too hard about that test, I’ll just ask if I can have extended time on it. I’m just happy you got home safe”

The little hearts surrounding your name at the bottom and the emphasis on him getting back at all seemed to have the opposite effect on Peter than you had intended.

As now, he just seemed more determined to fix this problem he had made.

You laughed as your friend lifted her arms into the air, taking in a big deep breath as you both finally got off the bus, “freedom!” she exclaimed.

“We have that test in like 30 minutes” You reminded her with a smile, earning a glare in response. “Buzzkill”

You chuckled this time, before watching her lift her finger and point behind you, turning as you followed where she was pointing, “that’s geek charming, what’s he doin’ here?” she asked quietly, expecting you to have an answer as you watched your boyfriend hurry over to you, green folder in his hand.

“No clue, I’ll meet you inside” You smiled at her, watching her nod and smile back in response, walking backward towards the school while she obnoxiously waves and says “Hi, Peter!”

Peter waved back, finally in front of you as he turned his gaze to see you already looking at him, with a soft smile.

“Hey,” Peter matched your smile, holding out the folder to you before you could respond. “For your test, you forgot your math stuff in my room, so”

You smiled, taking it gratefully, “Thanks, Petey. Although I don’t know how much help it’ll be-” Peter cut you off, “I mapped out in your notebook exactly how you can find any answers for the test and explained it in notes how I knew you’d be able to understand” You looked at him in awe as he rambled, watching as he took off his backpack and fumbled with it before pulling out your math notebook and handing it to you. “Peter-” “I almost wish I could take the test for you, I’ve just had so much to do lately as you know who and that’s no excuse for ditching my best girl when she needed my help so I figured this was the least I could do” Peter continued, taking a breath once he had finished.

You set the folder and notebook down on the grass, pulling Peter into a tight embrace. “This is nice” he mumbled into your shoulder, squeezing your waist ever so slightly. “I love you, Peter Parker” You mumbled back, pulling back just enough to set a soft kiss to his lips.

“I love you more, now go pass your test and make me proud, you can do that, can’t you, sweetheart?” Peter smiled at you, chuckling as you placed one, two, three more kisses on his mouth before pulling away and grabbing your stuff.

“When I pass, you’re buying me dinner, baby!” You said, beginning to walk away.

“Whatever you want, doll!”

#tasm peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x you #tasm x reader #tasm x you #tasm x y/n #peter parker imagine #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagines #the amazing spiderman x reader #Spotify

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whumpuary · 6 months

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Welcome to Whumpuary 2024!

Whumpuary is a whump themed mixed-media creation event/challenge taking place in January.

This year the prompts came together through a community submission form and then a poll, where I picked the 53 most voted prompts! There are 15 numbers with 3 prompts each, plus 8 alt prompts. The dates are just meant to be a general guideline for those who want/need some structure in a challenge (e.g post every other day), but you don't actually have to create/post on those dates. You can combine prompts any way you want or just pick one of each number, do every single one or even all of them combined into one big creation (or just use one single prompt. That's already an achievement!) If you don't like any prompts of a number you can also replace or combine them with an alt prompt. The main or alt prompts don't have to be done in order.

Go here for more information, rules and the tagging system Go here for FAQs

The inbox is open for any questions!

Text version of all the prompts is under the cut

Whumpuary 2024 Main Prompts 1. (Jan 01-02) Captivity / Snow / Secret Revealed 2. (Jan 03-04) "Get away from me" / Collapse / Choking 3. (Jan 05-06) Used as bait / Stumbling / "This is gonna hurt" 4. (Jan 07-08) "Help me" / Lightheaded / Kneeling 5. (Jan 09-10) Can't move / "Stay. Please" / Kidnapped 6. (Jan 11-12) Exhaustion / Blindfolded / Old Injuries 7. (Jan 13-14) "I didn't know where else to go" / Bruises / Drugged 8. (Jan 15-16) Muffled Screams / Hostage / "You look awful" 9. (Jan 17-18) "Make it stop" / Restraints / Hair Grabbing 10. (Jan 19-20) Desperation / Gunpoint / Can't stay awake 11. (Jan 21-22) Blood / "Just get is over with" / Memories 12. (Jan 23-24) "You're awake" / Rescue / Unfair Fight 13. (Jan 25-26) Left to die / Barely Conscious / "I'm Fine" 14. (Jan 27-28) Flinching / Breakdown / Sleep Deprivation 15. (Jan 29-31) You're safe / Aftermath / Touch starved

Alt Prompts 1. Stabbed 2. "Let me see" 3. Recapture 4. Forced to watch 5. Headache 6. Gagged 7. "Do you trust me?" 8. Blood Loss

#whumpuary #whumpuary2024 #whumpuary prompts #prompts #whump #whump community #whumplr #whumpuary2024 prompts

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vote-democrat-president-congress · 4 months

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Washington Post: "What Trump did in advance of the attack on the Capitol and on Jan. 6, 2021, legally disqualifies him from the presidency."

Section 3 of the 14th Amendment. The section disqualifies from office those who took an oath to support the Constitution and then engaged “in insurrection or rebellion against the same” or gave “aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.”

When a narrowly divided Colorado Supreme Court threw Trump off the state’s primary ballot in December on the basis of Section 3’s plain language, my initial reaction was, well, political — and skeptical.

Though I agreed that Trump had, indeed, engaged in insurrection, I thought it would be best for the country to have him go down to defeat again in a free and fair election. Keeping him on the ballot so voters could decide was the path to long-term institutional stability and might finally force a reckoning in the Republican Party.

Many people I respect continue to hold versions of this view. But the more I read and listened, the clearer it became that Section 3 was directed against precisely the conduct Trump engaged in. Its purpose is to protect the republic from those who would shred the Constitution and destroy our system of self-government. What Trump did in advance of the attack on the Capitol and on Jan. 6, 2021, legally disqualifies him from the presidency.

The record is clear that the legislators who wrote and enacted the amendment in the wake of the Civil War were not just thinking of the Confederacy’s leaders but also of “the leaders of any rebellion hereafter to come.”

Those are the words of John B. Henderson, a Republican senator from Missouri, when he cast his vote for the amendment in 1866. They are recorded in a powerful amicus brief filed with the Supreme Court by a distinguished group of historians of the era: Jill Lepore, David Blight, Drew Gilpin Faust and John Fabian Witt.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/02/04/trump-ballot-disqualified-14th-amendment/

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naruto-calendar · 5 months

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Happy holidays, everyone!

The 2024 Naruto calendar is now officially released! Everyone worked really hard on this so be sure to check it out!!!

This year, we have multiple versions available for you to download and/or print: desktop versions (with week starting on Monday and Sunday) and print at home versions (both A4 and letter size, with Monday and Sunday start week options).

We even have a phone/mobile version this year, made up of another 12 artworks, which you can check out here!

Be sure to check out all the versions available here.

And of course, here is the AO3 collection with the fics.

And a big thank you to all the contributors this year! Please be sure to drop by their socials and check them out :D

(see below for contributors on tumblr!)

Phone art: @crueltupperware

Jan: @succikko-draws (art), @super-kame-love (fic)

Feb: @nucipheram (art), @hkandiu (fic)

Mar: @depressedhatakekakashi (fic)

Apr: @spellcasterlight (fic)

May: @hyphen1582 (art), @alumort (fic)

Jun: @saku-rhyth (art), @gerardwayissexah (fic)

Aug: @vannahfanfics (fic)

Sep: @animetrashmuffin (art), @xenea-aesthetic (fic)

Oct: @sugarrfrog (art), @naturally-meek (fic)

Nov: @sorasattou (art), @punk-pandame (fic)

Dec: @jycc56 (art), @breeebly (fic)

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livvyliveslife · 6 months

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2024 Prep + Plan ✨

when going into the new year, there are so many different feelings about this time. Whether you've had one of the best years of your life, or whether you're still in your cocoon phase of becoming a butterfly. This reset routine will set you up for the year you deserve, you're allowed to feel however you need to feel about the upcoming new year but for me, this year screams hope, creativity and becoming the best possible version of me.

Deep clean your space both physical + mental - Change + create a rotation for bedsheets + towels. - Clean floor + surfaces in your room / apartment. - Journal: Reflect on what went well and what you accomplished, things to do, events, goals, ideas. - Spend the weekend before Monday 1st to get the last of the errands done for the year. - Clean out your closet Hygiene reset - Create the simplest skincare that works for you - for me all my skin really needs is a good cleanser and an even better moisturiser - Eyebrows - either get them done or do them yourself - Nails - either get them done or do them yourself - i have some perfect clean girl nail aesthetics - Hair - I love oiling + putting a hair mask every sunday that i can - Wash makeup brushes - i am a victim of procrastination + i cannot remember the last time i washed my brushes - HAVE AN EVERYTHING SHOWER - they're healing. Relax + Renew - Spend the 1st of Jan without your phone as much as possible - be reasonable x - go out n spend a significant time outside. - Digital Detox - reorganise phone, apps, camera roll, set screen limits + alarms to keep you on track. - Spend time outside journalling / reading - Do whatever makes you relaxed + happy x Set intentions for the new month - Pick 3-5 small goals for the month of January - Decide on the habits required to achieve a solid schedule in the daily habits, either into your morning or night routine - Anticipate anything that might make the habit difficult to achieve and come up with a plan to combat that - e.g. if your goal is to drink more water, then anticipate that you will need to bring your bottle everywhere. - Download / Make a habit tracker to track progress on new habits throughout the month. - Set a reward for yourself after the month - you deserve it - Schedule some events to look forward to

#becoming that girl #self care #self love #self development #that girl #clean girl #it girl #pink pilates princess #self improvement #girl blogger

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simmerianne93 · 5 months

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[Simmerinne93]Phone_poses_07

Hello everyone!!

The first pose pack of 2024 is here!...

I saw this gif on Twitter a few days ago and when I saw it, I said to myself: I need to do some poses that recreate this... because I find that moment when you are in love and you talk to that special person in bed for hours and hours and you are happy so tender. I just needed to do it...

The gif I used was of a boy and I made the poses with a male rig, however, I was testing them on a female sim to see how they worked in both cases and I liked it so much that I ended up making the cover photo in a female version, so the poses work for both types of rig.

I wanted to publish these phone poses to start the year because last year my first posepack was a phone posepack haha. So to continue the tradition I decided to share these first, although I have a pose from last month that I couldn't publish due to the problem I had with my computer.

By the way, after a few headaches, it seems to be working in optimal conditions... let's hope it stays that way.

And, without further ado, I leave you with the descriptions of the package. I hope you like them:

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What is on it?

9 solo poses made with a male rig + 1 all in one.

What do you need?

Andrew's pose player

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo.

a double bed.

acc_iphone11_R_necklace(byMoc) or Redhead's iphone11 acc Right version.

Instructions in the original post.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here — [Early access until Jan 30th, 2024]

——————

If you want to support me: Patreon | Ko-fi

For more poses: Pinterest | Wix

My socials: Twitter | Instagram | BlueSky

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say on advance: Thank you so much for use them.

@ts4-poses

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jokeroutsubs · 20 days

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🧊JokerOutSubs Iceberg Explained

Layer by layer

Explanations below the cut 👇

First layer:

Three kaksi ananas lonkero:

This is a fun anecdote told by Jan during our Tampere interview. They wanted to order three ananas (‘pineapple’) lonkero in Finland and… well, watch the video at 7:44 to find out :)

Noteworthy:

This is how Jan (again!) described his friendship with Nace when asked about the Damon Baker photoshoot during our London interview. Check it out here at 46:42 if you missed it!

‘JokerOutSubs: No one translates it better.’:

Another reference to our London interview with the boys. This is something that Bojan said about JokerOutSubs. We loved it so much, we added it as an intro to our original content, and a tagline on all our platforms! See it here at 0:08!

Second layer:

‘We have a certain type of door locks.’:

Another fun anecdote from our Tampere interview, this time from Jure! Did you know that Finland and Slovenia had such different door locks? We sure didn’t! Learn more about it here at 4:33!

JOS Stožice live:

On the 6th of October, several of our members went to Joker Out at Stožice, and live streamed the gig for over 1000 people! You can find both parts of the livestream here and here

‘Ofcourse the best interview was done by joker.out.subs’ and ‘always a pleasure chatting with joker.out.subs:

These are some lovely messages that Joker Out shared through their IG stories after two of our interviews.

Hvala, fantje. Radi vas mamo <3

Third layer:

Italyboo:

This was an award that we gave to the winner of our ‘How Italian ARE YOU?’ game during our Padova interview. Watch the game and find out who the lucky winner is here at 13:10!

Kiki the PR genius:

This funny tale from the Padova interview here at 3:15 is about Kiki, their ‘beloved technician’ (Bojan’s words, not ours). It’s thanks to him that the whole JO fandom had a meltdown over the lyrics to Šta bih ja before we even heard the song live in Helsinki! Thank you, Kiki, you mastermind.

Carpe Diem and Welcome to the Backstage translations:

Possibly the greatest pride for us at JokerOutSubs was being allowed to add subtitles to Joker Out’s Carpe Diem and Welcome to the Backstage series. Thank you boys and THANK YOU MARK for your trust.

Translating Cvetličarna:

Did you know how JokerOutSubs started? What the first big video ever translated was? It was this, the concert in Cvetličarna. If you want to know some lore, make sure not to miss our chat with Anja, who founded JokerOutSubs, and who came up with the idea of translating in the first place!

Cedevita:

You haven’t really tasted Slovenia if you hadn’t had a sip of Cedevita, a fruit-flavoured instant fizzy drink, packed with vitamins. (Cedevita pls sponsor us). This drink is actually Croatian, but it’s so popular in Slovenia it’s a staple in every household. It was part of the ‘package from home’ we gave to Joker Out during our London interview - you can see the snacks we gifted them here at 3:18. One of our members was served a very generous portion by Jure!

Fourth layer:

‘Deeeeej mi vse.’:

This is referencing the original lyrics to Umazane misli, explained to us by Bojan himself in our London interview at 30:42. One of our members also sang this version in Milano during Umazane misli karaoke!

Damon Baker mentioned you in his story:

The moment that gave JOS members a heart attack. The wonderful Damon Baker shared our short interview with Kris on his Instagram story to 1.2 million people! We love you Damon!

'Your nipples are shining so much man.’:

One of the most cursed translations we have ever done - Bojan slow dancing with a mannequin during the London era.

April fools:

On April 1st 2024, we decided to have a little fun with the fanbase and post some fake articles on our Tumblr. Kris and Jure even shared their articles on their stories! You can check them out here:

Bojan moving to Finland

Kris joining K3

Jure’s drumstick crisis

Jan and Nace’s new cat

Lightswitches:

Kris told us in our Tampere interview that one of his biggest culture shocks in Finland was that it’s always hard to find the lightswitch. You can watch it here at 4:19.

Fifth layer:

Pięćdziesięciogrosz��wka w klubie:

Jan told us in Finland that he liked long words, so we came to our second Joker Out interview in Poland prepared! This means '50 cents (in the club).' Watch the boys try to pronounce it here at 12:54

Translating made up words:

Joker Out enjoy making up words, which we then have to translate! That means we need to make up our own words in lots of different languages. We have hundreds of examples of this, but our favourite is probably sparklative - and here it is in different languages!

Danish - Glitretivende (based on glitrende, ‘sparkling’, the adjective henrivende, ‘good looking/charming’ and the adverb rivende, which is an amplifying expression meaning something like ‘completely’)

Dutch - Sprankelijk (based on sprankelend, ‘sparkly’ and the suffix -elijk)

Finnish - Kimalleltava (based on kimaltava, ‘sparkling’)

French - Brilliantesque (based on brilliant, ‘sparkly’, and the suffix -esque)

German - Glitzernig (based on Glitzern, ‘to sparkle’ and the suffix -ig)

Hungarian -Csillogoló (based on csillogó, ‘sparkling’)

Italian - Scintalloso (based on scintillare, ‘to sparkle/shine’, the suffix -oso and an -a instead of on -i in the second syllable. The correct word for ‘sparkling’ is scintillante or brillante)

Japanese - かやがいてる, kayagaiteru (based on かがやいてる (輝いてる)/kagayaiteru, ‘sparkling/shining’)

Macedonian - Cветникаво, svetnikavo (based on светка/svetka, which means ‘sparkle’ and the suffix -никаво/-nikavo)

Polish - Iskrzające (based on iskrzące, 'sparkling')

Serbian/Croatian- Šljokičazmično (based on šljokičasto, ‘glittery/sequined’)

Slovenian- Bleščečitno (based on bleščeče, 'sparkly', and the suffix -no/-tno which serves a similar purpose as the suffix -ive/-tive in English)

Spanish - Brillantivo (based on brillante, ‘sparkling’)

Swedish - Glittererande (based on glittrande, ‘sparkling’)

Turkish - Fışıltılı (based on ışıltılı, ‘sparkling’)

Stožice project:

The fan project at Stožice, in which everyone held coloured hearts to their phone lights and held up signs with a message, was actually organised by JokerOutSubs members! We hope you liked it boys!

NACE DEJ MI TIČA:

Another slightly odd translation from the London era. This means, ‘Nace, give me your cock’, and was said by Bojan! We made sure to check thoroughly before posting this out to the fanbase!

Uno reverse card:

One of our favourite moments from the See You Soon tour was seeing the entire band sing Umazane misli, as Bojan was tricked with UNO reverse cards by our founder, Anja! You can watch the whole thing here

Gate trga:

In a Val 202 interview in August 2023, Bojan decided to use a piece of Slovene slang, ‘gate trga’, which literally means ‘ripping underwear’, to describe what Martin is up to these days. Cue confusion in all our non-Slovene teams!!! This is a prime example of how difficult slang is to translate, and has become a go to comment for our members when the boys use slang words: “It's another ‘gate trga’ moment!” We translated it as ‘kicking ass’, and you can read the original article here

Sixth layer:

‘NO’:

One of our favourite memes to come from our original content - Bojan holding the ‘no’ paddle in Padova looking extremely indignant at the idea of sweatpants in public being a fashion crime. We call him Nojan and we love it! Check out our Padova interview games at 13:10

Only BoMartin hug video:

A fan favourite moment from Stožice was the hug Bojan and Martin shared after he appeared onstage for Kot srce ki kri poganja. It was an incredibly sweet moment, that was captured by the JOS livestream but cut out of the official Stožice documentary! Now it only exists in our saved livestream on Instagram!

‘You are and are amazing’:

These were Bojan’s sweet words at the end of our interview in Tampere. It’s at 15:12.

‘Was some AI included?’:

The day of our first interview with Joker Out was also the release date of SSOL. For the occasion, we translated the song in 15 languages! Kris asked if we had done the translations using some AI - but we would NEVER at JokerOutSubs! You can check it out here from 0:31.

RTVSLO notice:

While in Helsinki during the See You Soon tour, one of our members recorded the first playout of Šta bih ja and Bluza and sent the videos straight to our discord server for translation, and they were posted up for everyone to enjoy overnight. We were so happy to see Joker Out themselves mentioned this in their press release about the songs, including the one to RTVSLO!!

Bojan’s fish hat:

Just some fun JokerOutSubs lore, but the now famous Women want me, fish fear me hat was gifted to Bojan by one of our members during the soundcheck in Milano! He posted a picture right after receiving it. We love to see!

Seventh layer:

‘You don’t love me??’:

In our London interview, we asked Jan and Nace why they chose to do their Damon Baker shoot together, and Jan quite beautifully explained Damon’s vision of a portrayal of non romantic intimacy. Bojan then had to make a joke. You can watch the moment here at 46:43.

Bunda:

We love a good mistranslation here at JokerOutSubs, and many British fans were left confused when the boys posted that Kiki had lost his ‘bunda’ (coat), as it has a very different meaning in the UK! We discussed it in our fan interviews in London for episode 2 of Queue and A! Check it out here at 11:12!

Stolen Joker Rangers meme:

On March 9th, we posted the trailer to our new translation, which was a collaboration with the radio RadioAKTIVNO. For the trailer we used a moment in the interview where the boys talked about which Power Ranger they would be. Of course, we had to make an edit worth of Joker Out!

The very next day, Joker Out posted a picture of themselves as Power Rangers to promote their gig in Kraków.

A funny coincidence? Maybe. Of course, we had to remark on it!

Demoni karaoke:

During their gig in Helsinki in September, one of our Finnish members sang a Demoni karaoke! You can watch the video from 7:50 here. Way to go!

JokerOutSubs’ biggest fan Nace and second biggest fan Häärijä:

We can count many important milestones during our first year of life, but nothing beats the moment Häärijä, and later Nace, started following us! Thank you for acknowledging our work!

As a result, we joke that they are our biggest fans. But is it really a joke?? 🤔

Umazane misli in Japanese:

Another amazing karaoke done by one of our amazing members, this time it was Umazane misli in Japanese during the gig in Ljubljana last December. How cool is that?? We posted a video of that on our IG with Japanese subtitles.

Eighth layer:

Wet towel removal and wonky flag tying:

Our members who interviewed the boys in Padova gave the room a spruce up before recording, including the removal of a pile of wet towels and tying up a very wonky JokerOutSubs flag. We had to credit Anja for this hugely important piece of work, so we snuck some silly credits in at the end of the interview!

Do solzice:

When we read a message to the boys at the end of our London interview to explain the impact they’ve had on Slovenian fans, we were all quite emotional! Bojan later posted the message with the caption ‘Tole je bilo pa do solzice’ - ‘This one was a tear jerker’. For us too, Bojan! You can watch the moment here at 56:37.

'Che c***o! (in serbo)':

We were super happy to see the band post about all the translations we did for the Carpe Diem series, but our Italian team had a giggle that THIS was the screenshot they chose to highlight the new Italian subtitles - this translates to ‘What the fuck? (in Serbian)’.

Furious native English speakers:

Our native English review is a hugely important part of our process, partly because there’s some things that are consistently mistranslated. Here’s a few that have become iconic within JokerOutSubs for the sheer number of corrections.

Neki - it’s not ‘some’, it’s 'some kind of'

Dejmo en aplavz - not ‘give an applause’, it’s ’give a ROUND of applause’

po eni strani - not ‘on one hand’ but ‘on THE one hand’!

JOS Twitch stream:

Only the OG’s will know! In the earliest days of JokerOutSubs, we actually streamed a few shows on twitch, where our team was working as fast as possible to live translate in the chat for all the international fans who were watching! The devil works hard but JOS works harder!!

We hope you’ve enjoyed seeing a sneak peek at some of our history, lore, favourite moments and behind the scenes here at JokerOutSubs in honour of our anniversary! Here’s to many more years of translating for you wonderful Baby Boos!

#JokerOutSubs #JOS1YearAnniversary

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zedecksiew · 5 months

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THE BLOGGIES 2023: FINALISTS

(If you just want to skip to the list of BLOGGIE finalists, scroll to the "Who Are The BLOGGIES?" section below.)

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WHAT ARE THE BLOGGIES?

Awards for some of the best tabletop roleplaying game (TTRPG) blog posts to come out in 2022. There will be five awards: Best Theory Blogpost, Best Gameable Blogpost, Best Advice Blogpost, Best Review Blogpost, and, the biggest one, Best Blogpost.

I won Best Blogpost, last year. So I am hosting the BLOGGIES, this year.

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WHY ARE THE BLOGGIES?

Blogs are worth celebrating. Barring the actual playing of actual games, they are our most fertile field, our most volatile laboratory. Longform, text-based, and informal---they are a place to jot down our most outre design ideas. Free and publicly available---they are a vector for open debate and serendipitous discourse. Perhaps most importantly: relatively free of algorithmic social-media pressures---they are the best chance we have at a cultural memory.

I got into TTRPGs because of blogs.

The BLOGGIES are, at best, an affirmation of the above. At least, they are a way to celebrate 64 excellent blog posts from the last year, and maybe get them in front of people who did not read them the first time.

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HOW ARE THE BLOGGIES?

Nominations: I put an open call for blog-post nominations on Christmas 2023; I also canvassed the TTRPG communities I am part of. Nominated posts had to be from between 1 December 2022 to 31 December 2023.

I closed the nomination period on 1 Jan 2024 with 149 blog posts for consideration. I read / re-read them all.

I chose a slate of 64 finalists, according to the following metrics, in order:

Enthusiasm---a post got multiple nominations;

Diversity---no one blog was allowed to be a finalist more than once in a category (except the Reviews category, where this rule was tied to individual writers, due to shared review blogs);

Notability---a post was extraordinary in presenting a novel idea, addressing an important subject, or reflecting a community current.

Obviously, that last metric is highly subjective, and limited to my knowledge and perspective in the scene. I did my best.

I will not have final final say. Finalists will go head to head, vying for to be anointed best of the best by ballot. The bracket was seeded in order of number of nominations received. The BLOGGIES await your vote, o TTRPG folx.

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WHEN ARE THE BLOGGIES?

Throughout January 2024! Voting is >>>NOW OPEN<<< on Google Forms according to the following schedule (I will link to the forms and result threads as I post them):

First Week January - THEORY

3 January: Round of 16

4 January: Round of 8

5 January: Round of 4

6 January: Quarterfinals (winners in category) - Results

Second Week January - GAMEABLE

10 January: Round of 16

11 January: Round of 8

12 January: Round of 4

13 January: Quarterfinals (winners in category) - Results

Third Week January - ADVICE

17 January: Round of 16

18 January: Round of 8

19 January: Round of 4

20 January: Quarterfinals (winners in category) - Results

Fourth Week January - REVIEW

24 January: Round of 16

25 January: Round of 8

26 January: Round of 4

27 January: Quarterfinals (winners in category) - Results

31 January - FINALS

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WHO ARE THE BLOGGIES?

Your BLOGGIES 2023 FINALISTS are (presented in bracket order):

(High-res version here)

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THEORY

🥉 (1) being a problem - playable orcs at the limits of humanity, from Majestic Fly Whisk Some deep thinking about the racialisation of the orc in elfgames, why mainstream fixes fall short, and ways to move beyond.

(16) #132: Axes of Game Design, from The Indie RPG Newsletter An exploration of the design axes / spectrums on which every TTRPG may fall.

(8) The Genres the OSR Can't Do, from A Knight At The Opera Sketching the limits of the OSR playstyle by looking at genres which are too differently-bound for it to emulate.

(9) RPG Transcript Analysis: Critical Role, from Trilemma Adventures Examining a style of play through transcript analysis (looking at what is actually being said during a session), with Critical Role as case study.

🥈 (5) Critical GLOG: Base Resolution Mechanics, from Goblin Punch A deep dive into dice and resolution mechanics, and what they do in practice.

(12) My favorite problems, from Failure Tolerated A list of design problems in TTRPGs, and a case for game design and theory to be driven by problem-solving.

(4) Roleplay Is Folk Art, from Wizard Thief Fighter An impassioned call to consider TTRPGs as folk art as opposed to corpocratic walled-garden IPs.

(13) ART, PRODUCT, BOARD GAMES AND MAUSRITTER, from Fail Forward Critique of reviews that accuse TTRPGs for being too slick; interrogating the assumptions behind the label “commercial”.

(6) Toolbox Design, from The Dododecahedron Considering the principles of designing TTRPGs like toolboxes, through the lens of Cairn RPG and similar.

(11) Mario vs ActRaiser vs Final Fantasy vs Zelda - Types of Advancement in RPGs, from Rise Up Comus Identifying some general types of advancement in TTRPGs, using videogames as a comparative lens.

(3) Posters, Posers and POSR(s), from Prismatic Wasteland Relitigating whether the OSR is dead, and defining its successor, the Post-OSR.

(14) psychosis is badly written in tabletop games, from paper cult “Attempting to mechanize something so intensely personal, different, and mutable as mental illness is complicated. I think that makes these depictions bad!”

(7) “Rules Elide” and Its Consequences, from Jared Considering the implications of the maxim that "a game is about X when you have rules for everything but X".

(10) Models of High-Level Play, from Benign Brown Beast Loose but useful classifications for types of high-level play: domains; god-like play; etc.

🥇 (2) OSR Rules Families, from Traverse Fantasy Sketching the landscape of the OSR, how various systems function, and how their attributes cluster and trend together.

(15) Moralising and manipulation in tabletop roleplaying games, from Playful Void The importance of having design preferences without tying these preferences to moral judgments.

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GAMEABLE

🥉 (1) Flux Space, from Papers & Pencils A point-crawl procedure specifically designed for labyrinths / dungeons that are architecturally confusing / samey.

(16) Generating Elevation in a Hexcrawl, from Traveler's Rest Procedures and advice on how to generate a mountain-crawl: hiking-focused adventure geography.

(8) The Autumn of Summers, from False Machine God-monsters born of summer, the hunting culture around such beasts, and random tables to generate their attributes.

(9) MIMICS, from Vaults Of Vaarn A spread of novel pretender-creatures, with ecological and social implications.

(5) Another take on demihumans as social constructs, from Cavegirl's Game Stuff What if we consider fantasy races not as separate species, but as differing social roles?

(12) The Apocalypse Archive, from Bearded Devil An unfinished by exemplary #dungeon23 attempt that includes wonderful maps and soundtrack notes.

🥈 (4) Pointcrawling Character Creation, from Rise Up Comus A framework for tying character generation to a geography, generating history and familiarity with campaign locales.

(13) how to be erased, from Straits Of Anian Procedures for getting lost and getting led astray, and the kith and spirits one meets in those places.

(6) Dungeon Skirmishing, from All Dead Generations Feature-complete skirmish combat mechanics for OD&D, and the design rationales thereof.

(11) Zelda-Style NPC Personalities, from To Distant Lands A system of generating quick and punchy NPCs, inspired by the way Zelda videogames present NPCs.

(3) GULCH, from Mindstorm A starter town specifically designed for contemporary (horror, urban fantasy, non-fantasy) campaigns.

(14) Down the Road: Local Situation Design, from Deeper In The Game A procedure for quickly generating a powderkeg situation in a local geography of play.

🥇 (7) Laws of the Land: meaningful terrain via in-fiction limits and conditions, from Was It Likely? A method to generate meaningful diegetic terrain and tone in an adventuring region.

(10) False Equivalent Exchange, from The Graverobber's Guide A novel magic system, done in natural language, with discussion on how it could be used in play.

(2) Deeper Catacombs, from Benign Brown Beast Iteration notes and a presentation of a comprehensive dungeon tracking procedure.

(15) Inadvisable Decisions (GLΔG), from The Nothic's Eye An evocative alienist character class, based on drawing the attention of alter-describable things from beyond.

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ADVICE

🥈 (1) How to Handle Parley as an OSR DM, from Goblin Punch Comprehensive notes on how to run non-combat encounters without resorting to boring rolls.

(16) GM Pointers: Live-Text Games, from Shadow & Fae Good reminders on how to run live-text games better, so they are better coordinated and don't take forever.

(8) ONLY Roll Initiative, from Bastionland Considerations on how to adjudicate combats, if initiative were the only dice roll in a combat system.

(9) Action Mysteries, from A Knight At The Opera Asserting that good TTRPGs mysteries involve action---not just figuring out the truth but opposing the antagonist's goals.

(5) Modular Ecology, from The Graverobber's Guide A practical approach to including gameable ecology in TTRPGs, by tying materials to specific locations and conditions of the world.

(12) ULTIMATE ANIMIST MECHANIC: EVERYTHING IS A REACTION, from Alone In The Labyrinth How to run a game where all actions are resolved by reaction roll: everything in the world responds by how much they like you.

(4) Game Mastering Like A Park Ranger, from SILVERARM Advice about GM-ing, based on the real-world work experience of being a park ranger.

(13) An OSR approach to Spotlight, from Permanent Cranial Damage The suggestion that intentionally spotlighting characters solves the real-life problem of spotlighting players nicely.

(6) #Dungeon23, from Win Conditions The idea that spawned a thousand notebook dungeons, plus salient advice on how to start / keep going.

(11) The Storyteller Technique, from Possum Creek Games When writing TTRPGs, imagine your game text as a diegetic artefact in the world of the game.

🥉 (3) RANSACKING THE ROOM, from Mindstorm A simple and powerful three-step method to handle room-searching in games: inspect, search, and ransack.

(14) Cairn Crash Course, from Widdershins Wanderings A masterclass example on how to write player guides to a game, for Cairn RPG.

(7) AN EXAMPLE OF FKR (NEAR-)DICELESS COMBAT (WITH COSMIC ORRERY!), from Underground Adventures Describing combat in a Free Kriegsspiel Roleplaying (FKR) game, useful in understanding that playstyle.

🥇 (10) Re-inventing the Wilderness: Part 1 - Introduction, from sachagoat Figuring out problems with wilderness exploration, and applying a mental-map framework from urban-theory academia.

(2) Dungeon Design, Process and Keys, from All Dead Generations A detailed process to designing and keying a traditional dungeon adventure.

(15) THE D&D IN MY HEAD: In Only 6 Load-Bearing Numbers, from I Cast Light! Identifying the essential and minimum rules you need to remember, to run D&D.

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REVIEW

🥇 (1) An Empty Africa - PF2E's The Mwangi Expanse and the strange career of Black Atlanticism, from Majestic Fly Whisk A review of Pathfinder’s "The Mwangi Expanse", and a discussion of Black Atlanticism's fraught relationship with its sourcelands.

(16) What Hull Breach Teaches Us, from Mazirian's Garden An assessment of the Mothership RPG third-party "Hull Breach" anthology as a "new standard for anthology companions".

(8) Grave Trespass - Jim Henson's Labyrinth: The Adventure Game, from Bones Of Contention A review of the Labyrinth RPG. It’s got all these things which are "bad" in RPGs, so why does it work?

(9) The First Rumor Tables, Part 2: Caverns of Thracia or Caverns of Quasqueton?, from Tom Van Winkle's Return To Gaming An investigation into the origins of rumour tables in TTRPGs. Did TSR plagiarise Jaquays?

(5) Standing up for D&D's Gen X: 2e (Part 1), from Mythlands Of Erce A full-throated defense of D&D2E, viewing it in the context of its time and as a refinement over 1E.

(12) Systemcrawl: Break!! RPG, from Widdershins Wanderings A review and system analysis of Break!! RPG, which marries JRPG and OSR inspirations.

(4) Dungeon Crawls in Cinema, from Directsun Games Evaluating several films on the basis of how well they function as dungeon crawls.

(13) Reasonable Reviews, from Rise Up Comus A general overview of TTRPG reviews, and what may or may not make them useful.

(6) Deep Dive: A|STATE, from The Indie Game Reading Club A review of a|state, and how it builds on and departs from the Blades In The Dark formula.

(11) I Read Cloud Empress, from Playful Void A review of Cloud Empress, the first descendant of the Mothership RPG ruleset.

🥈 (3) Plagiarism in Unconquered (2022), from Traverse Fantasy A forensic analysis of how Unconquered plagiarised Ultraviolet Grasslands and Vaults Of Vaarn.

(14) Rod, Reel, & Fist (Review), from Benign Brown Beast A substantial review of Rod, Reel, & Fist, a "system-forward fishing simulation RPG".

(7) Pedantic Wasteland - Vampire Cruise, from Bones Of Contention A review of Vampire Cruise, a largely system-neutral horror-comedy adventure set at sea.

(10) Dragon Magazine: Player Advice Collection Overview, from Attronarch Athenaeum A comprehensive read-through and rating of 143 Dragon Magazine advice articles.

(2) Spire: The Monstrosity of Empire, the Necessity of Violence, from A A Voigt A comparative-literature analysis of Spire RPG through R F Kuang’s spec-fic novel "Babel, or the Necessity of Violence".

🥉 (15) MICROBLOG: CHILDREN'S BOOKS AND TABLETOP GAMES, from Fail Forward Considering the influence of children’s books on TTRPG designers and works like "Barkeep on the Borderlands".

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It is difficult to describe how hard it was for me to whittle down the list of nominees to these finalists. I consider each of these 64 a landmark in 2023's TTRPG thinkings, and the folks from which they issue essential reading, going forward. They already deserve a prize.

So here it is, dear bloggers: a hand-carved linocut "finalist's pin" graphic you are free to use on your sites / posts, should you wish:

(High-res downloadable version HERE)

Thank you for writing! And good luck in the coming rounds of voting!

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CORRECTION: A blog post from 2021 (Not All Crunch Is the Same, from A Knight At The Opera), was included in the soft-launch posting of this list. An error on the part of its nominator, compounded by a data-entry error on my part. It has since been replaced by a post from the same blog with the actual most nominations (The Genres the OSR Can't Do). I have also double-checked my lists and all finalists. Apologies for my error!

#bloggies2023 #ttrpgs

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