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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

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Under the Mistletoe

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader

warning: smut, cursing, fluff

word count: 8,467

a/n: I didn’t want to edit this last night so lmao... sorry!!!!! anyways, this is super cute and yall should like.....read it :D

Synopsis: The mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. Too bad Todoroki Shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“So you’re telling me that when two people meet under a mistletoe they have to...” Shouto trails off as he looks at the green plant nestled in between his fingers. “They have to—”

“They have to fuck, yes,” Kaminari nods his head.

His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes closed as he nods. His words, of course, are a flat out lie, but to Todoroki Shouto it seems as if his friend is speaking the truth. “It’s why it was never put up during our Christmas celebrations at school! With some of you guys not turning eighteen until after Christmas and all. That could have turned out to be child porn or something!”

“I haven’t had sex though,” Shouto huffs as he throws the mistletoe towards the blond who yells as it hits his head. “I don’t think I want to be caught underneath it. Didn’t Mineta wear a hat with it attached to it last week though?”

“Yeah, but that’s the only way Mineta can get girls, plus didn’t you see how the girls avoided him like the plague?” Sero pipes in, a large grin on his face as he takes the mistletoe and throws it above Kaminari’s head.

Shouto, however, sees this as a substantial poof.

“Bro, are you telling me you wanna fuck?” Kaminari winks as he looks up at the mistletoe.

“No, I just don’t think you’ll ever get to smash without this either!” Sero laughs as Kaminari slaps the mistletoe from Sero’s grasp.

“Would you fucking bastards GET OFF YOUR ASSES and come fucking help out?!” Bakugou roars as he enters the living room where the three men were sitting around.

Shouto stands up first, his eyes looking at the mistletoe that lays innocently on the floor. White people were pretty weird for starting that tradition.

Of course, it wasn’t to say that Shouto didn’t want to meet anyone under the mistletoe! Had it been a tradition where he would get to kiss someone it would be different, but fucking? Having sex only because you were caught under a plant was a bit too much.

“Todoroki-kun, are you okay?” Midoriya asked as he walked while hold two tables to put up for the dinner. The boys of the since graduated class 1-A were in charge of hosting the first annual Christmas party. Of course on because Iida volunteered them all.

Shouto nodded his head as he smiled strained, “I’m going to be avoiding the mistletoe all night.”

Midoriya looked at the fallen plant as he quirked an eyebrow, “Really? I thought it could be a great idea to get— mmph?!”

Shouto’s eyes widened as he saw Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima covering the One for All user’s mouth. They began dragging him away, their mouths at his ear as they whispered at him.

“Todoroki-kun, Kirishima-kun!” Iida yelled as he brisked over with red cloth in his hands, “I need your help in spreading snow out in front of the house! It hasn’t snowed enough yet!”

“Iida, what do you think about mistletoe?” Shouto asks as Kirishima jogs over to them.

“It’s a weird tradition,” Iida admits as he rubs the back of his neck. “But there’s too much to do, and the girls will be here within an hour!”

“Don’t worry bro,” Kirishima laughs as he slings an arm around Shouto’s shoulder. “Just avoid the mistletoe! Unless... you want us to send y/l/n-chan your way!”

Shouto couldn’t hide the flush the built on his cheeks at those words. The joyous laughter of Kirishima’s teasing didn’t help either.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Shouto stared at himself in the mirror.

Iida had insisted on formal wear tonight. He believed their first Christmas celebration outside of U.A. was a cause to ditch the Santa gear. It was definitely weird celebrating Christmas with his friends and not wearing the Santa suits.

But Shouto chose a dark navy blue suit, a white button-up, and a slim black tie. His fingers buttoned one of the buttons on his jacket before putting in silver cuff links. He was ready.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Shouto placed his clothes into the designated room. It seemed, however, that he was the last one ready as everyone else was sitting at the grand table. It had been beautifully prepared by Sato and Tokoyami. The aroma of the cooking food filled the air causing Shouto to sigh, he was quite hungry.

“Bakugou, where’s the mistletoe?” Shouto asked his ash-blond friend who was walking around with his hands shoved into his pockets. Shouto watched as Bakugou groaned as he whipped around towards him.

“What makes you think I would fucking know, hah?” Bakugou grunts as he rolls his eyes. “It’s hidden for a goddamn reason, you’re not supposed to know!”

“Would you help me look for it?” Shouto asks as he rubs the back of his neck.

“HAH?! Why the hell would I look for it with YOU, half and half bastard?! Are you trying to—?” Bakugou’s mouth was then taped shut. Shouto watched on in confusion as the ash blond’s attention was stolen by Sero; who was now running away in his white tux from the storming blond.

“Why aren’t they just being bizarre!” Aoyama dramatized from Shouto’s left. Glancing over, Shouto chuckled at his friend dressed in a literal suit of armor that was blinding to the eye. “Now, are you confessing your feelings to Mademoiselle y/n? Christmas is the most romantic time to do so!”

Before Shouto could speak to the smirking blond, Iida bursts into the dining area with coats in his arms.

“The ladies have arrived!” He announced.

Shouto watched as six girls entered the room talking amongst themselves.

They all wore Christmas appropriate formal dresses, and yet his heart fell as he was quick to see that you weren’t there.

Where were you?

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“I know I’m very late!” You exclaim into your phone as you struggle to shove the dark red evening dress over your body.

You weren’t supposed to have stayed as late at work as you did.

Missing the bullet train back to your apartment, you had completely missed the preparation for the party. Lucky for you, your neighbor had a useful quirk that let him do makeup and hair in ten minutes. So after offering him your soul (a promised meeting from his favorite Pro Hero Froppy), he agreed to do it.

The formal wear, however, was a bit too much in your opinion.

One month ago Iida had sent out appropriate outfits to gather ideas of what to wear for today. To put it simply he wanted a full-blown ball gown for a party for twenty-one of you.

So there you sat in your room, pulling the dark red dress into place. It had a semi sweetheart neckline, the bodice was made of soft velvet, and the skirt was multiple layers of red lace. Overall it was cute and simple. Slipping on your white heels you grabbed your coat and presents for your friends. Placing your phone to your ear you raced out to where the taxi was waiting for you.

“Iida won’t let anyone eat until you’re here! And I’m positive Bakugou is going to kill Midoriya out of a hangry fit if you don’t get here quick!” Mina once again tells you as you give the taxi driver the address.

“It’s not my fault villains decided to be villains where I work! Had it been my decision I would’ve been there with you guys! Plus it’s starting to snow,” you sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Tell Iida you guys can start eating, I’m not offended!”

“Girl, I told him that one hour ago, and again right before I called. Trust me, we’re not touching the food until you’re here!”

“Wow, you didn’t even want to wait for me?” You tease as you watch as the taxi drives into familiar areas.

“You know I’m teasing, besides loverboy here won’t let anyone eat until you get here too~!” Mina giggles in her sing-song tone.

“Don’t call Shouto that!” You groan as you try to calm your flaring cheeks. “We’re friends!”

“Friends who have the sexual tension that brings god to her knees! And the romantic chemistry that makes the cutest couple tremble in jealousy!” Mina exclaims. “Don’t worry, we saved you the seat right between him and me!”

“Mina!”

“Oh, gotta go! Bakugou AND your precious Shouto~ are demanding an update, see ya soon cutie!”

“Mina—”

The line went dead as you puffed out your cheeks.

Sometimes Mina was too slippery for her own good.

The rest of the taxi drive was quiet. Your taxi driver most likely wanting to get you out as soon as possible to go home themselves. Your eyes focused down at your cellphone that was getting text messages demanding your location.

Most of which was spam from Kaminari and Uraraka who seemed to be the most starving. Sighing, you shared your location with the class’s group chat for the next twenty-four hours. So they could track you for the next few minutes it would take for you to get there.

kaminari: i dont think ive ever been this excited to see y/n in my life… ever… and im 98% sure i had a crush on her 0.0

you: omg i told you guys you could EAT stop HARASSING ME

sero: tru lets blame iida

iida: You all would have been very upset had we eaten without you! Besides, this is our family so we have to wait, it’s only polite. - Iida Tenya

mina: …

you: …

midoriya: …

kirishima: i thought someone ingrained it into iida that he doesnt have to text… like that…

momo: I believe it is okay, Iida-san! It is confusing to know who’s texting on this chat! Sincerly, Yaoyorozu Momo

bakugou: hurry the FUCK UP Y/N

you: id rather die

“We’re here,” the driver sighs as they turn around. “That’ll be 2,000 yen.”

You smile in gratefulness as you pull out two 2,000 yen. “It’s a tip for working on a holiday, thank you!”

“Happy holidays.”

“To you as well!”

You stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. Your eyes fluttering as you watch the snow fall in front of you. A shiver runs through your spine as you pull your coat tighter around yourself. Holding the presents closer to you, you walk down to the front door. You take notice of the heaps of snow in front of the lawn and grin. Although you had no evidence, you bet Iida made Shouto and Kirishima create snow unknowing that it was going to snow this much.

Opening the grand door, warmth and the waft of cooking food invaded your senses. Removing your coat, you heard chairs scraping against the floor as a small mob of people raced to greet you.

“Merry Christmas!”

“Season greetings!”

“I’m so fucking hungry, thank Santa you’re here!”

“Move bitches I get the first hug!”

“Let me grab her coat first!”

It had been a while since you had last seen everyone. But in this moshpit of who you would consider being among your best friends, it warmed your heart. “Thank you, Iida,” you smile as he nodded in response.

“You followed the guidelines quite well, you look great!” Iida compliments as he turns to put your coat away.

“Of course she looks great, we all went out together to a dress shop!” Jirou sighs as she pulls you into a hug.

You greeted everyone, hugging them all as you went until you finally found the one person you wanted to see. His hair styled slicked back and his hands rested in his pockets as he smiled at you. Your face felt like it was heating up as you stepped closer to him.

“Merry Christmas, Shouto,” you smile as the dual-colored man smiles at you. You pull him into a hug.

“Merry Christmas, y/n,” he mumbles into your hair. “I’ll take those from you?” Shouto offers as he grabs the bag with the presents.

“Thank you,” you say letting go of the bag.

Shouto nodded as he turns on his heel to put the presents away.

“TIME TO EAT!” Kirishima and Kaminari roar as everyone starts making their way back to the dining table.

“Just to let you know, there is a mistletoe somewhere here, in case you want to make a move,” Mina whispers in your ear.

Oh, this dinner seemed like it was going to get increasingly harder to stay composed.

xxx

“It’s present opening time!” Iida exclaims as he ushers the class into the living room where the tree and presents resided. “Please have a seat, Yaomomo and I have organized the different piles for everyone! Until you have been seated will you receive your pile!”

You were talking with Tsuyu as you entered the living room. Your eyes shining as you took in a beautifully decorated living room.

“You boys did an amazing job at decorating!” You exclaim as you grin, the night had been going perfectly so far.

Dinner had been lively and hilarious. Old banter and topics bleed into the night’s conversation made your heart ache for the old days. It seemed so long ago when you spent every day for three years with these guys. You missed it.

With Mina at your left who discussed her new fighting style. Shouto at your right who talked about his life at home. His family had finally was becoming something he loved completely. While you two had late night discussions talking about it no one else knew about it. It was invigorating to see Shouto grin and laugh in conversations. His old dense self was still ingrained in him yet he’s grown so much since his fifteenth year. You were proud of him.

You watched as Tsuyu took a seat on the couch, her eyes trained on you as she spoke. You moved to sit next to her until something shoved you to the side.

“Oh, that’s my seat!” Mina exclaimed as she sat next to Tsuyu, her smile large as your eyebrow rose. “There’s more, don’t worry!”

You turned around and saw a seat near Midoriya who was near Tsuyu. It seemed you could continue your conversation about her position as a Hero Commander. Midoriya would like that conversation as well.

“That’s my spot!” Uraraka shouts as you were about to sit down. You sighed as you stood back up, your eyes raking the couches for a place to sit.

“There’s a spot by Todoroki-kun,” Midoriya said pointing at Shouto. Shouto was sitting on a seat that was a bit too large for one person, but too small for two.

“Thanks,” you smile as you walk over to Shouto. “You mind if I squeeze in next to you?”

Shouto looks at you, his eyes intense as he shakes his head, “No, go ahead and sit.”

You sat at his left with a grin. Your body pressing into his left arm as he concentrated on Iida, and with a nudge, you captured his attention. “I hope you like the gift I bought for you,” you whisper as Iida begins handing out the piles of gifts to each person. Ojiro helping as they were big.

“I don’t think I could hate anything you could give me,” Shouto whispers back as he grabs his pile from Iida.

“Random panties I find on patrol?”

“I’d be honored you thought of me.”

“That’s so gross, Shouto,” you laugh as you take your own pile from Ojiro.

“You’re the one touching random panties from the streets of Japan!” Shouto retorts as he helps you settle your pile onto the floor.

“Touche, Shouto,” you grin as you shove him with your shoulder, “touche.”

“Because it is Uraraka-kun’s birthday coming up, she should go first!” Iida suggests and everyone agrees.

“Oh, I need to tell you something,” Shouto whispers as you cheer on Uraraka who is lifting a gift over her head.

“What is it?” You ask turning your head towards him.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispers before focusing back in onto Uraraka. She lifts out multiple bags of strawberry mochi with a triumphant scream.

“You look handsome tonight, too.”

It doesn’t take long before presents are being opened and you’re feeling content pressed into Shouto’s side.

From Aoyama, you got a crystal mirror that sparkled in the light. The poem about the North Star engraved into the back of the mirror.

From Mina, you got workout clothes specific to a dance class you and the girls were planning on attending together. They were in your favorite color and came with a jacket with your name stitched into it.

From Tsuyu, you got a plushie. It was of your favorite animal and held lots of tiny little snacks that you could carry during a patrol.

From Iida, he presented you with a pair of exercise shoes you had been needing for a while. After all, sparring with Bakugou and Midoriya left your old ones disintegrated.

From Uraraka, she bought you a charm bracelet that had two charms on it already. One of the U.A. building and another of a small group of girls.

Ojiro gave you got a new winter coat. It was white, waterproof and insulated. Your jaw on the ground as you tried it on because it made you look like a marshmallow and you adored that.

Kaminari gave you got his mixtape. On the cassette were a bunch of Kaminari originals he had been promising you for years now, and now you had a copy. That and a gift card to your favorite restaurant.

Kirishima gave you a new ankle and wrist weights. Something to help with your manly journey to becoming the best hero!

Koda bashfully announced that you were getting an all-inclusive trip to an animal and tea shop. Something he gifted everyone in the class, and an event you girls were quick to plan.

Sato gave you a free pass to let him bake you anything you wanted. Another gift given to all the girls, and another gift you girls were excited to use.

Shoji had gifted you a massage gun. Something you had enveloped him in a hug for minutes afterward because it was something you had been meaning to buy.

Jirou’s gift was in a white envelope, two VIP tickets to your favorite band. A very discounted item because her parents knew them and the fact that she was a Pro Hero too.

Sero’s gift was something that made you laugh, it was a high-quality blanket. Soft to the touch, with the ability to keep you warm in a blizzard! It had a class picture printed on it photoshopped with Kaminari’s wheey face onto everyone’s picture.

Tokoyami gave you a picture album with the class’s best memories. It also had many more blank pages for your own pictures.

Hagakure bought you a new set of makeup and brushes. Brushes that you had been eyeing the time you two had gone shopping together too!

Bakugou bought you a new outfit. It was definitely an outfit for warmer weather, and he got annoyed when you went to hug him.

Midoriya made you a present. It was two notebooks full of analysis and suggestions that you had asked for when sparring. You wanted to continue improving and Midoriya was definitely going to help you.

Mineta bought you a gift card to use at a local lingerie store. On the one hand, it had a lot of money on it, on the other hand, you wanted to destroy it.

Momo blushed as she stood up, her grin wide as she looked at everyone. She apologized about being able to properly buy everyone an honest gift as she had been busy these past few months. Nut she promised she made up for it. She had paid off everyone’s apartment/house rent or price. Or in Iida’s and Shouto’s case their groceries for four months.

“This is for you,” Shouto whispered as he handed you a thin rectangular box. “I didn’t want it getting smashed so, I held onto it. I didn’t forget to give you a gift.”

Your eyes focused on the gift that was wrapped in red and silver wrapping paper. Your fingers gently taking it from him as you nodded. Shouto had been giving everyone else gifts with things that reminded him of them. It had some of the most hilarious items to date. But the box told you nothing, no hint, no clue. The attention of the group was on Aoyama who was modeling the new outfits that were gifted to him.

His eyes bore into you as you opened the gift, your eyes widening as you opened the box. “Shouto…” you trailed off as you looked down at the simple yet gorgeous necklace that lay in the box. It had a single diamond on it, yet you knew that it was more expensive than anything you’ve ever bought in your life. “W-What?”

Shouto remained silent as he gently pulled the necklace from the box, he asked you wordlessly to turn around so that he could place it on you. You complied as you shifted in the seat.

“I promise I looked everywhere else for you before choosing this!” Shouto admits as his warm fingers push your hair to the side. The cold chain presses into your skin as you look down at the jewel. “But no matter what I looked at, this was the only thing I liked for you. So, no, I don’t regret or worry about buying you this because I know it was meant to be yours.” His breath teased your exposed skin and it took everything within you not to melt as he fixed your hair.

Not knowing how to thank him, you pulled him into a tight hug, your arms holding him near as he returned the hug. Your lips pressed gently against his cheek, “Thank you, Shouto.”

You pull away and look back to your friends who were still focused on Aoyama who did a spin. Your fingers grazed the shiny jewel, and you lay your head against his shoulder as you consume the fashion show laid out for you.

Xxx

“You’re confessing to him, right?!” Mina hisses as the girls called an impromptu meeting seconds before you were "about to kiss Shouto" on the couch.

“Mina-san, she was about to kiss Todoroki-san right before you ripped her from his grasp!” Momo sighed as gave you an apologetic smile.

“Y/n has liked him since high school! Her first kiss with Todoroki-kun is not going to be while Bakugou is modeling his clothes!” Hagakure defended Mina as she crossed her arms.

“First off, I was not going to kiss him,” you defend yourself as you point a sweeping finger at your friends. “I was going in to get lint in his hair!”

“There wasn’t lint in his hair,” Tsuyu chimed in to which everyone agreed.

“Leave her alone!" Jirou waves her hands, to which you thank her. "She was going to take the lint out with her teeth! To show him what that mouth do!”

Jirou snorts as you shove her.

“Do you see that rock on her neck?! You know she’s not gonna show him only what that mouth do, but also what her—!” Uraraka snickers as she was interrupted by the kitchen door opening.

“Y/n?” Shouto asks, his eyes wide as he sees that you’re flustered and pointing your fingers at them all. “Um… I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Right now?” You squeak as you smooth over your dress. “Of course right now, um, yes let’s go!” You declare, glaring at your friends as you walk towards Shouto. Grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the kitchen the door closing behind you.

“They put up the mistletoe outside right?” Momo whispers as she looks at Jirou who gives a thumbs up.

“Yes, Kaminari said they convinced Todoroki to talk with y/n outside.”

“Does… does Todoroki-kun even know what to do under the mistletoe?” Uraraka asks as she realizes her sheltered friend was still learning new things to this day.

“The boys must’ve explained it to him,” Hagakure insists as she nods. “You can’t fuck up explaining that you kiss someone under the mistletoe. Besides, they want them to get together too!”

Xxx

“Fuck, it’s cold,” you shiver as you wrap your jacket around you.

“Sorry,” Shouto apologizes as he grabs your hands in his. Heat immediately spreads through your skin. He was warming you up, the cold winter air is ignorable, as you and Shouto walk towards the edge of the porch. “There wasn’t any room in there that was private enough, and I needed to talk to you about something important.”

“Oof, don’t tell me you meant to give this necklace to some other girl named y/n,” you tease as you rest your back against the snow-covered railings. “If so, I’m going to need to fight both you and her for it.”

“No, no,” Shouto chuckles as his thumb rubs smooth circles into your skin. “But it is about the necklace.”

You nod your head as you squeeze his hand reassuringly, “What about it?”

“It’s not… too forward is it?” Shouto asks as he takes his right hand to brush your hair from your face. “If you think it’s too much I can take you to return it for something else you’d like.”

The worry and concern that are heavily etched into his face make you laugh softly as you shake your head. “Even though I can’t give you something as great in return, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

“What do you mean? I liked your gift.”

“Shouto, it was a two paid in full all you can eat meals at that soba joint you love, of course, you were going to like it!” You tease as you think back to the hole in the wall you had introduced Shouto to a few months ago.

“Yes, I have to starve for a week to make the most of your gift,” he teases and you snort as you shove him. Your eyes roll as you focus your attention back onto him.

Wait, what was that?

Your eyes flew back up to the ceiling as you saw the powdered with snow mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Your jaw dropped as your heart rate spiked. The hands that were in Shouto’s felt sweaty as you ripped your hands from his.

“What’s wrong?” Shouto asks as he follows your gaze up to the ceiling.

“Mistletoe,” you breathe as your eyes widen. This screamed like a setup to you, but how could the girls know the two of you would have made your way out here?!

“Oh.” Shouto’s voice nearly squeaked.

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Shouto whispers, his cheeks glowing in embarrassment or from the cold, you had no idea at this point. “If you’re okay with it, um... I’ve never done this before.”

You lick your lips in anticipation and the feeling that Shouto wants to kiss you back. Your heart hammers in your ears as you smile. “It’s okay, I have,” you laugh gently.

“... you have?”

“Yeah!”

“O-oh…”

“It’s okay, it’s something I try not to remember,” you input as you shake your hands. His disappointed, flustered, and jealous aura screaming at you as you cup his cheeks. “You’re the one I wanted to meet under the mistletoe anyways.”

His hands slip through your jacket, holding your waist in his grasp as he lets out a shaky breath. Shouto’s eyes rise to lock on yours finally, and you nod at him.

“Wait you want to do this outside?” Shouto whispers as you near him.

“You’re supposed to do it under the mistletoe,” you mumble as your lips connect with his. Your lips end all arguments that he has as Shouto stills.

The kiss was slow, your eyes closed as you gently coaxed his stiff lips to move with yours. Shouto moved with you smoothly, the kiss gently growing in passion as he pulled you in closer. The kiss burns you as your lips languidly move against each other. Your hands moving from his cheeks to tangling into his gelled hair.

It was perfect, and you found yourself pulling away, ready to confess your feelings for him. But Shouto didn’t seem to be on the same page as his lips pressed against your throat. The feeling of his heated and soft lips against your colder skin made you suck in a sharp breath of air. Your head tilting backward as he peppered clumsy yet attentive kisses against your skin.

“S-Shouto,” you moaned as your fingers grabbed onto the collar of his jacket. This wasn’t what you were expecting from him. Nor was it something you believed to come from a visit under the mistletoe. Your peaked breaths soon calmed, they smoothed into soft and shaky moans as his teeth teased your sensitive skin.

Shudders flew through your body as his tongue caressed your skin. your mind was sinking into a sinking pit that is until he trailed his tongue to the cleavage of your breasts.

“Shouto!” You squeak as you shove his jaw up, his eyes locking on yours confused and drowning with lust.

“What’s wrong, love?” Shouto asks as a strand of hair falls into his eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Is this how you meet everyone under the mistletoe?” You pant as your mind is racing too many thoughts a second, you can’t keep up as there is a heat building in you. A heat that begged you to get over your shyness and just let him kiss you in such a lewd way. But this wasn’t Shouto, it couldn’t be.

“I’ve never been under a mistletoe before,” Shouto mumbles as his lips press together. In this brief hesitation, it seems that he remembers something. “Who have you… met under the mistletoe…”

Your face warms as you sigh, it wasn’t a memory you much enjoyed.

“It was Bakugou, but only because the damn store owners were so insistent on it!”

This confession made Shouto still. His eyes turning a near black with emotions you hadn’t seen on his face in quite a while.

“Shouto? Are you okay--mmph?!”

His lips were back over yours immediately. His bruised lips fervently danced against yours as he held his right hand to the back of your neck and the other firmly onto the small of your back. His kiss was demanding, sultry, and overwhelming.

Your questions of his emotions out of your mind as your ass hit the porch railing. The cold snow burning through your dress made you cry out, and Shouto’s tongue presses into your mouth. Your back arches as his left-hand leaves your body. It slams against the railing and the snow melts, and the tongue in your mouth warms you as you shudder in his hold.

Not wanting to be manipulated like this, you ignore how your body feels like it’s melting in his hold. Your mouth suckles onto his tongue. Your hands fist into his hair, making him moan into your mouth as you tug on it sharply.

You can feel the falling snow hitting your cheeks, but your body temperature has spiked so high that it melts before it can make complete contact.

Ripping your mouth from his, your lips trail down his neck, nipping and sucking hickies onto his pale skin. The harsh pants that escaped his mouth and the shaking of his form further incited you as your painted lips met the collar of his shirt.

“Should we go back to my place?” You ask as you pull away, your hands fisting around his tie as you look into his lust-fueled eyes.

“I thought you said we had to do it under the mistletoe?” Shouto questions, his upper lip in almost a sneer as he uses your hands to loosen his tie. Your eyes widened as he stripped off his jacket. He placed it onto the railing that was turning the snow into steam whenever it made contact. “Did you take Bakugou home after finding yourself under the mistletoe with him?”

The words were a near snarl, his eyes angry, his face jealous.

Some part of you wanted to utilize this. You wanted to use this surplus of emotion Shouto was emitting to get him to fuck you against this railing. Another part of you, a louder part of you, demanded to know what was wrong.

“Why would I bring Bakugou home?” You ask as you take Shouto’s flushed cheeks in your hands. “It’s mistletoe, not a porno.”

Shouto blinks once, twice, thrice.

“W-What?”

“Mistletoe, not porno,” you repeat confused. “Shouto, you’re supposed to kiss under the mistletoe.”

It’s then that Shouto’s body freezes. His eyes widening as he stares at you.

His face flushed, lips were swollen from kissing, and hair messy.

“You’re… you’re not supposed to fuck?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he shakes his head.

The small sentence causes your heart to beat wildly as you stare at him, your hands moving from his cheeks to your mouth. “NO!” You squeak as Shouto takes a step back from you, his head dropping.

Coldness envelopes you as Shouto nods his head, “I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, y/n. I… I should go.”

You watch as Shouto turns on his heel, his back stiff as he walks towards the door.

Everything in you screams at you to make him stop, pleading that you pull him back and say you’ll still fuck him. The kissing itself had ignited a fire within you. And there was nothing else you wanted but Shouto to subside the need and desire that had built within you.

“I like you,” you reel as you find yourself taking several steps forward as Shouto’s hand touches the door handle. “I have feelings for you, and when I found out that I could kiss you tonight I took the chance! I know you might be feeling a whole bunch of different emotions that I can’t list. But I want to let you know that I wasn’t letting you do that because of the mistletoe, Shouto! I genuinely really like you and I was going to let you fuck me against the porch railing I was that ready.”

Shouto is frozen at the door, his back tense as his hand drops. You watch in what feels like slow motion as he turns around, his eyes locking on yours. It clicks, his confession is silent as he walks back towards you.

The world has gone silent as Shouto cuts the distance between the two of you before you could react. His mouth pressing against yours as you’re sent walking backward. Your hands grasping his biceps as you’re pressed against a familiar railing.

“I like you,” Shouto gasps against your lips. “Fuck, y/n, I like you so much.”

You don’t answer him as you instead sink your teeth into his lower lip, a groan leaving his mouth as you pull away. His eyes flash dangerously, something new stirring within him as your lips come crashing together again. In a tangle of lips and tongue, his hands leave your waist and grab your ass through the fabric of the dress. The cold is ignorable and the jacket around you is making you sweat as you moan into the kiss.

The melodious sound escaping your mouth stirs Shouto on and his leg slips between your thighs as you arch into him. His leg presses indescribably into your crotch, so you do what you must and grind your hips against his leg.

The grip on your ass tightens as Shouto begins to guide your hips into wide circles against his leg. The grinding pleasures you. The slowly building pressure overwhelming you as you whine against his mouth. His name escapes your mouth like a prayer, soft and hopeful as your mouth suckles against his tongue.

“It’s too hot,” you whimper as you pull away, Shouto trying to follow you with his mouth as you tilt your head. His wandering lips press against your neck and you sigh as you shift to take off the jacket.

“You’re going to get sick,” Shouto warns. His hands leave your rotating ass as he tries to slip the coat back over your shoulders.

Taking his hands and instead press them onto your breasts. As his eyes shifted to your breasts, you dropped your coat to the floor and you stare at him with a growing smirk. “Then you better fuck the cold away.”

His eyes take you in and he slowly nods, his hands groping your breasts as he growls in response, “Don’t think I won’t.”

“Big words for a virgin,” you moan as warmth spreads throughout your body.

“Those are fighting words for someone who’s at my mercy,” Shouto snaps as he pinches your side.

A pained moan escapes your lips as Shouto’s teeth sink back onto your neck. His tongue then lashing out to smooth the wound that was left in its place. He continues to mark your neck as your gasping praises and grinding hips gives him the confidence to continue. His touch is intoxicating and you find yourself whining for more, begging that he do more. Finally, with a deep chuckle, Shouto pulls away from your neck, his lips red and raw.

His eyes trace your body as his hand’s trail from your breasts back onto your ass. Your eyes widen as he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, his hands massaging your flesh as he places you onto the rail. A low sigh escapes your lips at the feeling of the warm wood underneath you.

Your chest heaves with your quickening breathing as you see that this position gives Shouto the perfect entrance to fuck you out here.

There wasn’t much you could do outside. With snow blanketing the world, your friends indoor, and both you and Shouto craving the other there was only so much you could do. Fully expecting Shouto to start unbuckling his pants, your eyes shot open as he lifted the skirt of your dress. His heated fingers trailing up your cool flesh.

Trembling you watched as his fingers reached your panties. His finger stroking your folds as your hands held tightly onto his shoulder. Your pussy aches for more. Your panties soaked from the thigh riding and the being so overwhelmed with emotions for Shouto.

You can do nothing as you feel your panties being peeled from your skin. The soft fabric trailing down your legs and you watch as Shouto looks at them before pocketing them. A smirk overcomes his facial features as you watch him. He takes your wrists in his right hand and moves them behind your back. Your eyes widen as a familiar sound hits your ears.

“I might be a virgin, but I’m not a prude,” he whispers into your ear as cold ice encloses your wrists. “You have only a few minutes to get yourself to cum against my fingers, or else… well, I don’t want to find out.”

Unintentionally, you whimper in both pleasure and pain as the coldness seeps through your skin and your pussy throbs at the threat. Should you heed his command or make him recant. As you contemplate that, you rub your legs together. The slickness of your essence much more noticeable without the fabric in place, and you moan.

Shouto smirks as he looks at your moving legs, and he takes his left hand to trace your inner thigh, teasingly, barely touching your skin. Your eyes flutter as they brush against your slit right before he plunges two fingers into your wet heat. Cursing his name, your walls tremble against him as you press your forehead onto his shoulder. His fingers are warm, but your heat is even warmer.

“Is something wrong?” He feigns innocence as his fingers curl against your wall. They circle within your cunt as you whimper lewdly.

“N-No!” You stammer. The freezing sensation of the ice is almost ignorable with his fingers beginning to push within you. He nods as he begins to move his fingers slowly. Your body squirms in his hold as he increases his speed. Soon his fingers pump within you at unimaginable speeds, your head throwing backward at the pleasure. Your hips find themselves bucking against his fingers as you mewl.

The ice begins to burn as his thumb brushes against your clit.

Your eyes clench close as you surge forward. Your lips pressing against his as you attempt to stop your loud moans. Shouto swallows your moans as he continues to pound his fingers in you. A third one soon entering as his thumb flicks against your clit.

So close, you’re so fucking close.

You can feel the pressure building in you, the coil tightening as you cry out his name, pleading for him to make you cum. Shouto muses at your desperation but does not relieve you of your desires as his fingers leave your cunt. You cry at the expulsion, your pussy craving for him to reenter your needy cunt.

Instead, your wrists are set free from their icy cage. Your skin feels like its burning as Shouto places his fingers into his mouth. He's licking your essence off his skin and you whine at the visual.

“I decided that I want you to come around my cock instead,” Shouto chuckles as you glare at him.

“You’re a dick,” you whine as you watch as Shouto loosens his tie after removing his jacket.

“You’re the greedy one who wanted to fuck right here,” Shouto hums as he unbuckles his belt. You stare at him feeling your pussy throb at the impending sex.

Your eyes fall onto his cock as his pants bunch at his knees, and your mouth dries at the sight of him. Eight inches and thick, his hand fists against his length, low grunts escaping his mouth as he steps near to you.

“Are you okay with this?” Shouto asks as the head of his cock brushes against your wet folds.

You nod your head as you shudder at the sensations that run through your veins, “Yes, are you?”

He nods too as he grunts softly. He begins to grind his cock against your folds. The increased pressure than what he was doing before makes you moan as he coats himself with your juices. Your hands hold onto his biceps as he continues to move his cock between your folds. teasing your clit instead of penetrating you and you whine in protest. The stimulation of your clit appreciated but you wanted him to fill you up.

“Will you just fuck me already?!” You rasp as you pathetically circle your hips against his length.

Shouto chuckles as he locks eyes with you, “Maybe.”

Your mouth opens to argue, but you’re cut off by him pushing himself into your needy pussy without warning. His length barely fits entirely within you, and his girth causes your head to spin as he stretches you out. “FUCK!” You hiss as your head presses into his collarbone.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Shouto shudders as your walls spasm against him, overloading him with sensations as he tries to calm himself. “Y-You’re so fucking tight.”

“Move, Shouto,” you beg eagerly needing more friction from him. “Please fucking move.”

With a grunt of confirmation, Shouto rolls his hips. You curse as his hips move outward before bottoming back into you. Your hips move in time with his, and intermingled moans resonate within your now joined mouths. His thrusting picks up speed the more comfortable he gets. His moving hips slamming against yours as you cry into his mouth. His hand grips your waist as he pulls you from the railing, one of your legs hooked around his waist as the other shakily stands. He slides his other hand down your back so that he can cup the bottom your ass. It’s a stretch and it adds to his vigorous thrusts into your cunt.

The feel of Shouto’s pelvis slapping against yours is your remedy — you’re craving him even more and he is well aware of that fact.

You’re swelling with euphoria and lust when he decides to amp up your pleasure by bringing his right hand to your clit. His fingers circle against your clit with his ice-cold touch, it shocks you as your heated body jerks under the new temperature. With the added temperature play, it feels as if your body is breaking under his will. Your pussy clenching at sensations he’s giving you. Your hips rolling against his pounding hips, and he moans in return to how your walls clench against him.

Your head lolls to the side as you’re overwhelmed by the blazing heat in your core. The pressure of your cunt heavily evident throughout your entire body. You needed to keep it together, you wanted to keep going. The head of his cock finally comes to press against your sweet spot as he shifts your hips and you shriek.

“Fuck! Please, right there!” You beg as Shouto shakily nods, his hips coming to snap into that same spot over and over. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you’re no longer able to speak. You’re completely overpowered by his snapping hips.

“Will you come for me,” he groans out, his voice a pleading hope.

Your head nods frantically as you're unable to trust your voice. The action satisfies Shouto as he hisses lowly. Faster and harder, his fingers switch from pressing small circles to large figure-eights on your clit, while his hips slamming faster into you. You can’t handle the pleasure any more, and you feel your high coming.

“Shouto,” you gasp as he presses a kiss against your mouth again. His hands moving to lift you up, you can only cry in pleasure as he slams your back against a pole. His hips continuing to snap into you at insane speeds. You’re not able to keep up as sparks ignite in your veins as he slams into you over and over.

Your orgasm hits your body and it’s as if you’re falling away into ecstasy. Your mind spinning and dazed from the continuous world-altering sensations. You cry out his name as he still continues at his unmerciful pace. That is until he suddenly pulls out and drops you onto your shaking legs.

Whining at the loss of his cock, and the fact that you’re now on your feet, you open your shut eyes and stare at him unable to speak.

“Turn around,” he growls. You can’t believe he wants you to go for his own orgasm with you in a whole new position. Was he really a virgin you question as he fists his cock as you reposition yourself onto the railing. Your chest presses weirdly onto the wood as your knees buckle, and you look over your shoulder to see Shouto raising the skirt of your dress.

Shouto doesn’t ask to insert himself in you again. Your fingers grip the railing as he slams back in and you let out a sharp cry as you seize forward.

He starts up a brutal pace with his hips slapping against your ass with each and every thrust. Your hands move to your mouth as you cry as you rock forward with every thrust. His hips remain steady as his pace accelerates. You watch on a dazed high as snow falls onto your moving hair. Your fingers shoved into your mouth like a gag as he grips your hips. You use all of your willpower to push your hips back against his to meet him thrust by thrust.

Slowly, he starts to vocalize more and more. His lips moaning your name and crying out. He keeps one gripping hand on your hips while the other slips to your clit. Your mind snaps as he begins rubbing meticulous shapes onto your puffy nerves.

You can tell he’s close.

He’s chanting your name against your spine like some mindless prayer to you. His hot breath fanning onto your exposed skin. The hand on your hip grips you tighter, definitely bruising your skin. So you grip the railing with one hand and the other remains in your mouth.

“Are you ready?” Shouto growls while nipping at your skin. “Ready to take my cum?”

“Yes! Please, Shouto!” You choke out from your fingers, the pleasure and overstimulation reaching their tipping point once again.

“Then fucking come.”

Your toes curl as you let out a sob of pleasure. Your arm is unable to support yourself anymore as you let your torso slam against the railing. The circles on your clit finally stop and your abused cunt clenches around Shouto’s cock. Your body reaches its second orgasm of the night, and Shouto arrives with you.

He cries out a “Fuck!” and your name as his speed spills within you. It’s the loudest he’s been all night, which makes you whine at the sound of your name being said so vulgarly from his mouth. As your cries become breathless pants, you press your hands against the railings. The saliva on your fingers turning cold as the two of you stand still for what feels like some time. You feel him slide both of his hands on top of yours to intertwine with yours as cum spurts out of his cock, filling you up.

He rubs circles on top of your hands with his thumbs as he slides himself out. The feeling of him gone makes the both of you whimper at the loss of each other’s fill. You feel some of his cum seep out, and you shudder at the emptiness your cunt now feels.

You slowly stretch back up, your body hurting and now quickly turning cold with the lack of his heat.

Shouto is two steps ahead of you as he grabs your tossed coat from the floor and wraps you tightly within its fabric. “There,” he smiles as he pulls up his own pants, his face still flushed for different reasons.

You giggle as you shake your head, “Did I really get dicked down because of mistletoe?”

A snort escapes Shouto’s lips as he nods, “You did.”

“Well, I do like you, Shouto,” you whisper as he finishes dressing. “It’s not just because of the mistletoe.”

“I know,” Shouto whispers as he takes your cheeks in his hands. “And now this is me asking you on a date and if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”

Joy fills your heart as you laugh softly. “I’d love to be,” you say as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss right under the mistletoe.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

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the-moon-prince · 3 years

Text

The Last Of us~Kurapika x Reader ~Chapter IX

AN: Hi my lovely fellows!

I’m sorry for the delay! Thank you so much for your patience and support! I love you all! This chapter is very long. In fact, this and the previous one would be one, but it already had more than 5000 words and I had not finished yet, so it seemed exesive to me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

I wish you a pleasant read, and I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter of my story. (Chapter I) (Chapter II) (Chapter III) (Chapter IV ) (Chapter V) (Chapter VI) (Chapter VII)(Chapter VIII) (Chapter X coming soon!)

Paring: Kurapika Kurta x GN! Reader

Word count: 5 498

TW: None! Pure Fluff

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They were both impatient and excited for that night. It gave (Y/n) a warm nostalgia to share something so close to their heart with someone they loved. It gave Kurapika the feeling of not only being appreciated but of belonging. He perfectly understood how important traditions were to people in their position. It was something that, in a way, connected them with who they once were and with those who once loved them. At the same time, it could bring grief and yearning for it. That (Y/n) invited him to be part of one of their traditions meant two things, which were essential to Kurapika: the first, they were contented enough to carry out the celebration; the second, those sorts of events are held with family, and (Y/n) considered him sufficient bosom to show him their traditions.

The hours until check-out seemed tediously long for both. But everything comes sooner or later.

The two kept close to each other as they prepared to leave.

Melody saw them from afar. She hadn't seen Kurapika so happy and delighted regarding something. It was so pleasant to see her friend gleeful after so much.

They were the last to leave the Nostrade Mansion, checking that none of their co-workers were present to go through the door holding hands. They did not let go during all the traject to (Y/n)'s automobile.

"I propose that we go to your house so you can prepare changes of clothes if you'd wish."-they orated, a clear eagerness on their voice. A tone that wouldn't leave their voice through all that night.

"That would be very convenient, thank you"-He too was happy but better at hiding it behind his calm tone.

They drove Kurapika to his residence, chit-chatting during the entirety of the route. Kurapika had promised him that he would not be long-drawn and they could wait for him outside to speed things up. However, once alone at home, a wave of insecurity hit him. Something not proper in him. He began to question himself. It was something important to both of them, and he didn't want, for whatever reason, to ruin it. He was afraid of saying something perhaps inappropriate, hurting his feelings, or insulting his culture by accident. There was a whole list of things that could go through carelessness and were annoying. If someone did such actions referring to some tradition of the Kurta, he would sure be mad. Above, (Y/ n) had not been very specific with the type of event it was. He did not know if he would have to dress formally, or in his traditional clothes. He began to get distracted and discredit the decisions he made. Finally, he changed into his Kurta clothing, packed in a sack another change of his traditional clothing, his white loose pajamas, and one of his black suits.

When he returned to the car with his belongings, (Y / n) was distracted on their phone. For someone who liked playing on his cell phone so much, he responded very little to messages and calls. When he put his bag in the back of the car he noticed some grocery sacks. Which he was sure weren't there before.

"Did you went to the supermarket while I was inside?"-Kurapika inquired. They looked away quickly solely to return their sight to him.

"Yes... I did."- They thought it was a bit explicit.

Kurapika felt bad about the time he must have taken-"Did I really took so long?"

(Y/n) shook their head-"No, no, no, I mean, it was a bit lengthy, but I took the opportunity to go buy what was required!"-they reassured with a smile.

"I'm sorry for being overdue."-he apologized with a sigh, holding his forehead.

"No no! Don't apologize! It's fine! We only gained time. Plus you avoided the dull line at the store."- they also started to shake their hands. Truly seeking to comfort him, they even found it handy.-"Please don't worry, it's perfectly fine."

Kurapika sat in the passenger seat, put the seatbelt on, and headed to (Y/n)'s residence.

"I hope you don't have any allergies to almonds, since I purchased to make an almond dessert."-their expression suddenly changed to a deadpan one. Realizing they didn't even ask beforehand that important detail.

"No no, I don't."-he notified. Curious about the variety of sweet it would be.-"Will you make desserts repeatedly?"-His sweetheart maybe literally was a sweet heart.

"Yes!"-they cheered-"Are you good at cooking by any luck?"-another question, but this one with a blameworthy tone and a somewhat ashamed smile.

"I master the basics, why that question?"- were they planning on cooking together?

"Because I am terrible when it comes to cooking. It's no coincidence that I only have cookies or candy in my cupboard."-They admitted with rectitude. That person sometimes had brutal honesty about some things. Kurapika was very sure that they were capable of feeling shame and shame, even seldom they seemed not to be ashamed of some things that most people would be ashamed of.-"So more or less I depend on your abilities for this to be successful."

When they arrived at the house, a comforting smell filled Kurapika's lungs. It was so pleasant and familiar by now. He felt at home and relaxed. (Y/n) put the shopping bags in her kitchen and started pulling out a wide variety of pastry supplies. If it weren't for their earlier confession, Kurapika would think they know what they're doing. In fact, he doubted if they even had any clues.

"What are we doing, then?"- he questioned, wanting to make sure they at least had a plan.

"We are making Frangipane! It is a sweet almond-flavored custard patisserie!"-when they mention dessert, they immediately smiled-"it is exquisite! I like it a lot, although I have not eaten for a long time. I hope you will enjoy it too!"- they flapped their hands with emotion as they explained. At first, it was somewhat difficult for Kurapika to decipher what they were feeling, however, there were moments where their happiness and emotion were clear. That was adorable to him.

"It sounds heavenly! How do we make it?" his excitement seemed to have infected him as well. But she couldn't help it! If his lover was so smiling, he was as well.

"I don't know!"-they said it was still content.

Trouble hit Kurapika. Even if he could tell what they were feeling, their mind was still a mystery.

"How do you plan to prepare it in that case?"-he pleased, worrying all the event will fail. He didn't want to see their excitement and joy crushed.

"My mami- mami is how I referred to my grandma- taught me how to make it. Though I forgot."-they calmed and tilted their head."-Except, that's no problem at all. Do you mind waiting for just a miniature moment, please?" they added directing to their bedroom. They allegedly had some solution to the problem. But Kurapika still wondered how they could be so forgetful and brilliant at the same time.

(Y/n) returned shortly afterward with a little book in hand. The book seemed to be handmade, the cover was made of fabric with a flower pattern, except there was no title on it.

"My mami made a cookbook for me!"- they sang as they showed him the book. Kurapika took it and started leafing through it. Why didn't they mention that part earlier?-"Recipes are nothing further than a sequence of instructions. And in general, I exceed in following commands. So everything should be under control."

Kurapika might know a lot about many things, but the language the book was in was not one of them.-"Darling, I cannot comprehend what is written."

"I know. The exact reason why I will be translating it."- they explained like the most coherent thing ever. He returned the cookbook. They started reading it, looking for the recipe they needed.

Both traveled to the kitchen and (Y/n) started to read out loud the recipe.

"Let's start with the dough! This is the longest of the processes, and you would want to start with it. It's an inverted puff pastry. For it, a base dough is needed. Which you are going to envelop in butter multiple times..."-the safety of their voice dispersed as they read.-"How does she expect me to do that..."-they mumbled for themselves, although Kurapika was able to hear it. It was just the beginning, and they were already distressed.

"But don't stress (Y/n) even if it appears complicated said like that, it's easier than you might think. You just have to follow the steps I'll be giving you."-they seemed surprised at that encouragement.

"Did... did your grandma wrote that?"-even he was surprised.

"Yes... I... I guess she knew me extremely well."- it even seemed their mami was in the room, knowing exactly how they were feeling.

"For the base dough, you need to mix 15cl of water with 18 grams of salt and one teaspoon of white vinegar." (Y/n) started to measure said ingredients while integrating them into an ample aluminum bowl and stirred. "With the wet ingredients already prepared, append 350 grams of white flour and 115 grams of melted butter and mix until homogeneity... I can do that."

They melted the butter in the microwave and added the flour, followed by a quick stir.

"Spread the dough on a surface with flour and form a tiny square."-they weren't bad at following instructions. Kurapika stayed next to them, admiring their focused face while passing ingredients and supplies. He was somewhat nervous they were going to miss the recipe by accident and feel bad, but they were having so much fun he ignored it.

"Behold! Our base dough is finished! It was simple!"-(Y/n) looked so proud of their achievement.

"It is a well-done dough!"-It was the first time that both of them prepared something similar, he couldn't help but feel equally satisfied.

The dough was placed into the refrigerator. The succeeding step was to mix 150grams of flour and 375 grams of butter until obtaining a paste. The two of them were having fun with the preparation of the dessert. Serenely conversing added joy at the night.

"Earlier this day, you mentioned today was important. Is there a celebration?"-the blonde wondered, aspiring to know more about his beloved's traditions.

Their smile softened-"It is. Today Vere Solstitium starts. It was a big celebration for the Uniliums taking place during spring. It lasted 12 days."-they informed while spreading the butter mixture into a bigger square and placing the dough inside, enclosing it.

"What was intended to be celebrated?"-he continued, as he saw the dough being spread and folded two times in half.

"Being alive and together. We were a small clan. The fact that they were all good and united made us fortunate."-they explained with a soft voice and a kind smile as they placed the dough in the fridge again to let it rest. There was a sad undertone, the object of the celebration sure was warming and pretty, but given the fact (Y/n) was the last alive, it turned to be dark. Both sat on the couch to wait.

"I see. Is there a reason why it was feasted in spring?"-Kurapika continued to ask, even if once reflected the circumstances were sad, it seemed to be a topic close to their heart.

"Because that's when all the flowers are in bloom."- (Y/n) unexpectedly rested their head on Kurapika's shoulder. Not that it was unpleasant, totally the opposite. He loved their contact and affection, it was just that (Y/n) was peculiar with physical contact. Not because they didn't love him with all their heart, they just needed to get used.

"My people had a close relationship with nature in general, but especially with flowers. Each flower has a meaning for us. And each of us had an assigned flower. That flower symbolizes your soul. Your entire aura lived in your flower and was part of it."-their voice was sweet and nostalgic. It did it good to share aspects so dear to them with someone they cherished. Similarly, Kurapika was glad to be capable of grasping that kind of information. When you lose your home, sharing your memories is complicated and beautiful at the same time. It felt less lonely.

"Do you have a flower?"- he guessed. Having the opportunity to hear about the culture of (Y/n) made him feel comforted. And if he didn't listen to them, who else would?

They looked up at him with a smile and nodded-"I do! I'm the poppy!"-they exclaimed-"It has a mixed meaning, a small wildflower often perceived as childish and frail. It's often related to dreams, daydreams. Besides is a flower formerly used as an analgesic and sedative. The poppy is a flower of comfort and hope, particularly comfort in times of penury."-they cocked their heads to the right a little-"Although it has not helped me much."- chuckling a little to hide their sadness.-"The other one, I don't fancy it that much, although I terminated up growing used to it. It also contains a meaning of aggressiveness and fury. There's why it's a flower surrounded by mysteries."

Possibly they do not see it, or they still grieving, but they had brought Kurapika hope and lessened his pain in the lowest moments. He adored their mystery. Having someone by his side loving and supporting him was like a dream. While they could be childish at times, it was invigorating to him.

How long has he not laughed?

How long has it been since he felt blissful?

How long has it been since he felt emotion ticking his senses?

How long has he not felt any hope for the future?

One of the mysteries of (Y/n) was how they remained innocent and well-meaning after extremely much. Kurapika had no idea how they were so impassive, but he was so glad that they did. To him, the poppy suited them pretty great.

"I think it is a tad funny how the poppy is related to medicine and I ended up in this career!"-they joked. Maybe the flowers were connected to their soul after all.-"We better keep working on the cake."

Not even themselves knew the time that had elapsed since they started talking. Kurapika was amused by how (Y/n) could at times be quiet for hours, and listen with all the attention that each fiber of their body allowed them to give; in others be so talkative. In any case, he loved talking with them and listening to them.

"Now the fun part! The filling!"-they grinned, really radiant, even if it was a simple cake. And it was a simple cake. Only it went further.

"Isn't it a little early to make the filling?"-he asked, starting to worry about the resolution of their experiment once more. He had taken, perchance, the part of "I rely on you to succeed" far too literally. They shook their head and whimpered in disagreement.

"It may seem that it is, however it is more useful to have it ready to spare time. And if you let it rest it will taste greater."- they explained, the idea was not foolish so discussing it would lead to nothing.

"Let's boil milk! We need 150 milliliters and a hint of vanilla!"-they pronounced vanilla a bit weird, yet Kurapika did too. It was perhaps a shared trait in nonnative speakers.-"I absolutely savor milk! I believe it to be the superior beverage."-they stated pouring the milk into a saucepan, it looked never used.

"Because you're a cat?"-A hint of a tease as well as a bit of genuine interest in the question.

"Probably! When I was little, I used to give choccy milk to my cat each time I had."-another weird frank response-"Next, whisk two egg yolks with 25 grams of sugar."

"You had a cat? As a pet? Considering that you are a cat, it would not be bizarre to have one as a pet?"-He had no idea that (Y/n) had former pets, even fewer cats. A bit uncanny to own a miniature version of yourself as a pet.

"Mmm..."-they shook their heads from side to side in uncertainty-"Not really. Humans make friends with other humans. An accompaniment animal is just a friend or an adoptive member of your family. The difference is that since it is another species, humans treat it as inferior."- they exposed their point of view, as they quickly whisked.

"I think you are right."-he mumbled, feeling a bit ridiculous. After all, wasn't that the reason why they had been exterminated? The person in front of him was not even human; and yet they seemed to possess a more comprehensive notion of humanity than many humans.

"Sunshine, would you mind passing me the cornstarch, please?"-their request pushed kurapika out of his reflection.

"Sure, how...how much?"- he vacillated.

"15 grams, please."-he poured the cornstarch into a small jar and passed it to them.

"Thank you!"-they continuously added the starch into the mixture. It felt so homely to cook together.

Kurapika remembered seeing his mother cook, accompanying her in the kitchen and sometimes passing her some things. (Y/n) remembered how they liked to sit in the breakfast nook's chairs to read while their grandmother prepared meals that they still remember nowadays with affection.

"Now that the milk is boiling, we add it to the yolk mixture, and we return it to the saucepan!"-they announced.-"It says we have to be careful and to stir continuously until the custard thickens."

"At the Solstitium celebrations, what different activities did you used to do?"-the blonde continued to ask with a soft smile. He loved to hear his beloved's memories.

"Oh! We had a lot of activities! Some carried out by the different groups for the rest: Dogs and wolves had a chorus howling to the moon, rabbits, and deers their dance. I participated in the ball of cats and mice, but I was the only cat, which converted it rather the cat and mice dance."-they gushed, happy words flowing like honey.-"At those parties, we wore beautiful and distinctive gears. They were bright and full of embroidered flower decorations. We all got united to dance and roar around bonfires, the children drew pictures, made flower crowns, and presented plays, music was played. But what I loved the most was the spring dance. The participants gathered around a noble flower decor and we danced holding hands and ribbons until we could no longer stand. The last one to hold, for enduring all the dance, he was named spring's royalty! And had an honored seat during the rest of the celebration."-They continued to whip the cream until cooked, a soft expression never leaving their face. Once removed from the heat they added a tablespoon of butter and left to rest in the refrigerator.

Kurapika would have loved to see (Y/n) dance. A real shame. At least he already knew why they always used some embroidered flower decoration.

"Are you ready to make the almond cream?"-they continued, persistent in their crusade for the dessert.-"Kurapika, please put two entire eggs in a bowl, 100 grams of sugar, 125 grams of almond powder, and 100grams of soft butter, please. I'll mix it."-(Y/n) requested as they washed their hands. You couldn't tell they cooked poorly, but some practice was lacking, resulting in some spattering. Kurapika obliged their request, it was not uncommon for one to ask the other to do things. They didn't usually argue about "who was in the lead"; it was stupid. They just helped mutually.

"Hunny bun!"-another pet name (Y/n) liked. But how couldn't they? Kurapika was sweet as one! Hearing the honeyed name he came to them -"Here!"-The container with the almond cream was brought to his face. A very sweet smell filling his nose.-"It smells good, doesn't it?"-they bragged with a bright smile.

He smiled too, seeing someone you love happy, spreads happiness.-"I can't deny that it smells delightful! We made nice work, darling."

"And we have not finished yet! The final result is even more scrumptious."-they announced.

(Y/n) stared a moment into the sticky sweet cream filling. They then directed silently towards their lover, resting a moment, supporting his weight on the counter. they took some of the mixture with two of their fingers and smeared it on his face.

"Boop!"-they started to laugh at the boy's face of surprise. They had already made some plays, but never pranks before. Oh! It was better for him to get accustomed to it, they were mischievous sometimes!

"Hey! Why did you do that?"-he of course faked some anger, but couldn't hide his smile.-"Come here! I will get revenge on you, sneaky cat!"

They screeched covering their smile with both hands. Kurapika started chasing them around the kitchen, as they slipped away and they avoided his grasp. They were there for a while. At one point, (Y/n) even got on all fours in their cat form as they jumped and ran from side to side just to complicate the situation for him. They eventually ran out of air and ended up getting caught.

"No, no, no, no!"-they started producing noises between hissing and laughing. Having them already in his grip, Kurapika cleaned the almond cream from his features with his hand and stamped it on their face. (Y/n)'s first reaction was to shrug their shoulders executing a grimace, wrinkling their face with a weird smile to next shook their head to the sticky foreign sensation.

"You asked for it (Y/n)! I told you I will get a payback!"-he mocked. It felt so gratifying to play a little!

"Jokes on you, my dear. I'm a cat!"-they snickered back, with their wands on the hips. They proceeded to wipe the candy with the back of their hand and lick it.-"Mouthwatering!"

They both laughed out loud, forgetting for a brief moment full of joy all their sorrows and desolations.

"You got fortunate. I want to taste it too. Let's finish the tart."-he smirked after giggling.

"It appears perfectly fair to me! We just have to incorporate the custard into the almond cream and the filling will be ready."-they continued to chuckle.

"And then we bake it?"-he inquired, really wanting to taste the dessert, it was merely the filling, but the smell was appetizing.

"I wish that, my love. But in the book, it says we must leave the dough rest some more time."-was the answer, accompanied with a light head shake. They had already calmed down completely.

"In that case, I will go sit down a moment."-Kurapika was starting to feel drained. It was late at night, and they had had a heavy day.

"Then I will prepare tea, is that okay?"-they said softly, realizing their weariness.

Between the warmth of the tea, the comfort of the armchair, and the feeling of peace the sleepiness grew in him. It was good at home. He didn't even realize he fell asleep.

Kurapika felt a poke on his right cheek and a sweet smell.

"Kurapika."- a whispering voice sang.-"My love, the frangipane is ready!"

His head was resting on the back of the chair. When he opened his eyes, he discovered a (e/c) pair with dilated pupils looking at him tenderly. He raised his head and looked around. As he looked down, he observed a padded blanket covering his body.

"You feel asleep."-(Y/n) whispered to him so as not to stun him.-"But the cake is ready and warm."-their eyes looked a bit tired too. A patisserie sitting on the coffee table in front of him. The cake was round, golden, and shiny. The crust had some simple flower-carved motif.

His lover was sitting by his side, waiting with an impatient stare and a smile. Kurapika sat back in his spot. (Y/n) approached the pastry and cut two pieces, placing them in round candy plates, passing him his share. It was two layers of golden puff pastry with a light almond luscious filling in-between. It had a sweet, buttery aroma.

He grabbed the spoon and took a taste of the desert. The top was crispy and buttery, and the interior creamy, sweet and soft, a little fruity. It was a delicious homey and beloved flavor, as from an unknown childhood.

(Y/n) watched him waiting impatiently for his answer.

"It's deletable."-he smiled.

Then, they took a spoonful of cake. "Yummy!"-Immediately flapping their hand in happiness while savoring the candy.-"We did it! It tastes just like I remember."-they approved with a smile.-"My mami always doing what I can't, even believing in me when I don't."-they laughed.

"She left you a good recipe."-he assured.

"I'm certain she's proud of us in this precise moment."-they added, looking down at their plate.

"Did you do the flowers?"-Kurapika wondered, examining the crust of the tart.

(Y/n) hummed and nodded in confirmation-"With a scalpel!"

It made sense that they were skilled with blades, they were doctors after all.

"I used to eat this very often with my brother."-they mentioned taking another nibble of cake.

"You had a brother?"-he was surprised, they never had suggested the existence of siblings before.

"Not as such."-they tilted their heads, reflecting a way to describe it-" We were offsprings from different parents. Though we were both only children. In our community, in these cases, we were assigned a symbolic sibling. The fraternity was for taking care of each other."-The Kurta Clan didn't have something equivalent, but from what little they had mentioned, the Unilium were also a tiny community. Depending on their unison to preserve and care for each other. That practice, within its private Clan's rules, made sense.-"His name is Julian, he was a dog. As I was raised by wolves, by right of blood, I belonged to the order of wolves. Canis Lupus and Canis Lupus Familiaris, by proximity. Moreover, as we were from litters of just two years apart, we got joined."

Of the two, perhaps it was (Y/n) who spoke less about their origins and Clan. Kurapika had already mentioned, albeit vaguely: Pairo, his grandfather, and some adventures of the Lusko province. It also cannot be overlooked that (Y/n) liked to ask questions about it and always listened to him with application and interest in the subject. They generally cared about learning about the Kurta.

"And the cats? Didn't you had your order?"-he pondered, it was his turn to learn.

"Something similar. I was the only cat... I mean, not because it's something special, there just hasn't been a cat in a while. Finally, it was my turn."-they shared.-"The method of organization was somewhat tricky. If your parents were of a different race than yours, you belonged to their order; having been raised by them. Like a blood right, in that manner, no one was left without an order."-they specified once more-"The proximate orders were united. It was not a caste system, only that rabbits did not have the same abilities and dilemmas as wolves, for example. Having someone who had been through the same or similar as you eased."

They were silent for a few seconds, remembering. Kurapika wanted to ask more about their brother although he wasn't sure if it was convenient.

"Julian was a nice dog."-they looked down and stared at the tart piece a moment, with a trembling smile. Maybe they felt Kurapika's curiosity about the case. Perhaps they just wanted to remember him, who knows. But he started talking as if he knew accurately what was on the other person's mind.

"Poor him, they forced him to babysit me!"-they laughed, easing again-"His favorite food was egg sandwich."-they snickered-"Isn't that weird? One would expect something else..."-they continued to chuckle-"I don't know, something special. Some pasta, some stew, but no, just that. I mean, it was beneficial for me. Extorting him with food was pretty easy."- They always had been sneaky and playful after all!

After that joke, they were silent for another moment. Kurapika wanted to say something to cheer them up, he had to. They continuously did. But they got ahead of him, speaking just as he opened his mouth.

"Kurapika, please wait here, I have something for you!"-they begged, heading to their kitchen. It didn't take long for them to come back with a large bouquet of beautiful flowers of different colors. The flowers were placed in several layers in long stems. They sat down next to him and offered them to him with a gentle and bashful smile. Kurapika had a surprised expression. He was not expecting a gift, less so unexpectedly.

(Y/n) avoided his gaze looking at the bouquet and tilting their head.

"They are gladioli."-they stated softly-"Its general symbolism is that of innate elegance. Its structure resembles that of a sword, recalling victory and strength. As well as the sources of ideals and honor."-they began to explain-"I also selected certain particular colors. White gladioli besides symbolize remembrance; oranges to others furthermore are an invitation to love; reds are for passion and strength of the spirit; finally, pink are a sign of good wishes. Gladioli are also known as the flower of victory."-their face was burning.-"I offer them to you as a genuine symbol of appreciation and love." Kurapika took the flowers and stared at them. He carefully touched the fragrant petals; they were fine. He was extremely touched by the gesture. He felt accepted and supported. The gift was overflowing with love and care, it was honoring.

"Thank you (Y/n), they are precious."-he was not sure how to express all the warm feelings that were flooding him at that moment, and the drowsiness did not do him any favors-"thank you, dearly."- He had an immense desire to hug them, to hold them close and never let go.

"Kurapika, you're exhausted."-they delicately remarked, smiling lovingly-"We should go to bed, sorry for keeping you awake."-They got up and gathered the supplies before Kurapika could respond.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine."- he tried to reassure them when they came back.

"It's still 2:43 am. the most suitable thing is to go to sleep."- they couldn't deny they were tired as well.

"I suppose your right..."-he didn't had much force left, the tiredness was taking over.

They both marched to the bedroom. The bed was full of stuffed animals like last time. (Y/n) directed themselves to the bathroom.

"I'll use the restroom a moment if you don't mind."-they announced.

"Are you taking a shower at this hour? Is it needed?"-he asked astonished. It was quite late and they seemed fatigued.

"Mmm... something alike, is intricate to explain. Although I promise I'm not going to delay."-they explained getting into the bedroom. Kurapika took advantage of that time to change clothes and put on his loose white pajamas.

As promised, they didn't took long. When they came back with slightly damp hair, the blonde had barely had time to arrange all his belongings and was getting into bed. (Y/n) got into bed on the same side as last time. This time they took the initiative and approached Kurapika, cupping his face. It was one of those rare moments when they looked into his eyes. He took those opportunities to admire their (e/c) catlike eyes. They were special and wonderful to him. They said nothing. (Y/n) slowly approached him and gave him a shaky kiss. It was the first time they had kissed him on the lips. The order of events in the relationship may not be the conventional ones. But Kurapika was aware that close physical contact costed them. He didn't mind taking it carefully either, it was worth it to him. It was a quick kiss. He leaned forward and kissed them again. They tasted sweet. Both finally leaned on the bed, close to each other, putting their faces together. (Y/n) slightly rubbed their cheek against his before snuggling. Holding him tight, they started to pet Kurapika's soft blonde hair.

"Goodnight darling." He whispered, feeling so loved, and being overcome by sleep.

"Goodnight sunshine"-they muttered back-"I'm assured they would have too loved you..."

#kurapika kurta x reader #kurapika x reader #hxh scenarios #hxh x reader #hxh #kurapika hxh #kurapika kurta #hunter x hunter #kurapika #kurapika imagine

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tommybaholland · 5 years

Text

Working Hard Or Hardly Working? | tom holland x reader

(beefcake bby image is not mine)

Summary: the one where you’re struggling with working on your body, but tom isn’t far behind

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: body image issues, swearing, the fluffiest shit ive written in a min

———————————

“3, 2, 1 REST…”

“Next up, spiderman plank!”

You groaned as the automated voice instructed you to assume the position. And yet, you proceeded to push through the exercise in hopes that one day, it would be easier. But for right now, you sigh and grunt through every tense muscle and that ache in your lower back.

Tom watched you from a few feet away as he was doing a cooldown run on the treadmill. He has to admit, he was a bit amused with your frustration at the gym. You both used to exercise together, but lately you’ve been preoccupied with this app that tells you what to do, and you do it. You had gotten a head start getting back to the gym after the premiere of Far From Home and downloaded it to help give you direction on what to do for what you wanted to work on. And for you, it was probably the best thing you did.

Also the fact that Tom is one of the most competitive people you’ve ever met.

That didn’t bother you, usually.

But he couldn’t help but notice your attitude at the gym has changed since the press tour ended. You’d been wanting to do your own routine more often, only offering to warm-up and sometimes cooldown routines with Tom. So he allowed you to do your own thing, and would on occasion tease you with,

“S’okay babe, you probably wouldn’t be able to handle my routine anyway,” while flexing his muscles, which you knew has become thicker and more defined since before Far From Home had begun shooting.

He honestly couldn’t complain though, watching you and that ass throw down some squats had never been better.

Other than you doing your own thing at the gym, you also seemed more aggressive with the workouts. When you and Tom first came to the gym together, you would just do some cardio on the elliptical or the treadmill and then finish with some yoga. But now you seem more committed and will do HIIT routine after routine and even lift weights some days as well.

He had also noticed your eating habits had changed drastically as well. He couldn’t remember the last time you had both eaten the same meal. In fact, he couldn’t even remember the last time you had eaten, in general. You just didn’t seem to want to enjoy the usual things you and him would indulge in lately. He minded wandered to last night, when you turned down a legendary pastime you and him would take part in from time to time.

“What kind of pizza should we order?”

“Oh, uh, I’m actually not that hungry.”

“What?” Tom questioned in disbelief. “You’re still drinking though, right?”

You shook your head. “No, sorry. I think I’m going to just have water.”

“You’re kidding, right? You love our beer and pizza nights,” Tom replied, in disbelief.

“You can still order it and we can still watch something!” You reiterated. “I’m just––taking a break from pizza and beer.”

Something seemed off to him. Normally, he just brushed it off, thinking that you missed being active and wanted to catch up. But your mood and behavior didn’t seem right to him.

Frankly, you didn’t look very happy.

You had finished your last exercise, and were left panting and dripping with sweat. You took a sip of water before getting a disinfectant wipe to wipe down your yoga mat. Tom stepped off the treadmill as you finished cleaning your mat, calling over to you.

“Ready to go soon, love?”

You nodded, still trying to catch your breath. Your heart was racing, and your muscles felt thoroughly worked, despite that you skipped some exercises or took more breaks during the hard ones.

As Tom was putting away some of the free weights he has used, you decided to weigh yourself on the scale in the gym. You took a deep breath before stepping on the scale, something you always did, calling it the “moment of truth.”

Standing up straight and sucking everything in, you looked down at the numbers to see your fate.

No change.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. You didn’t gain weight, but nothing had been lost either. You sighed, rubbing over your face and through your sweaty hair before stepping off and putting your shoes back on.

Grabbing your stuff, Tom rejoined you at the front of the gym, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his side, placing a small kiss on your temple.

He quickly pulled his hand off of your arm, rubbing the excess moisture onto his shirt.

“You’re quite sweaty,” he chuckled. “A bit smelly, too.”

You gave him a small chuckle and smile, humoring him. But it wasn’t as big of a reaction as he normally would get from you.

The ride home was silent between the two of you. Tom posted on his insta story for the thousandth time about Far From Home while you sat in the seat adjacent to him, dealing with your own business.

Leaning your cheek on your hand that was propped up on the window by your elbow, you looked at the graph that the app had created with all the data points you had entered for your weight.

You tried to weigh yourself everyday, or almost every day, once reading somewhere that people who weigh themselves regularly have more motivation and therefore, lose more weight. You’d been committing yourself to working out everyday and trying to make healthier choices for about a month now and you would’ve thought you’d see a small difference in the numbers.

But the graph didn’t show that.

The trend was an absolute mess, with hills and plateaus everywhere. It was disappointing and frustrating to you. And it wasn’t just about looking good,

It was about feeling healthier about yourself.

It almost made you feel like you weren’t allowed to have that. Tom worked hard and trained enough to make his body “Spider-Man ready” but he was also naturally athletic. His body was practically made to look like that.

You, however, are soft and round with some strong build. It was just extremely hard to get that build to show.

Upon arriving back to Tom’s apartment, he went straight to the kitchen to make his usual post-workout protein shake, turning to you as you put your water bottle down on the counter.

“You want one, darling?”

“Uh, no thanks. I think I’m gonna go shower,” You could feel the redness still on your cheeks. “I feel gross.”

And it wasn’t just from the sweat.

Tom nodded, giving you a small smile before you turned and went into his room to grab a change of clothes before walking down the hall to the bathroom to shower.

Tom could sense that you wanted to be alone, deciding that he shouldn’t join you in the shower like he normally would do.

You took your sweet time getting clean, mainly focusing on how your body didn’t feel much different as you rubbed body wash over your skin.

One thing that you and Tom had in common was you both liked the idea of a challenge and would persevere through anything that stretched beyond your normal abilities. That’s why he loved being Spider-Man. He gets to show people what he can really do, even if it takes time, or 40 takes, to get there.

You’re the exact same way. You never really like repeating the same thing over and over again with work and want to show off your capabilities. Normally you would see this as a challenge and keep trying to see it through to your goal.

But lately just the thought of perseverance has been the real challenge.

You wanna just say ‘fuck it’. Some days, you just want to go to the gym and spend time with your boyfriend without being distracted by some app telling you what to do. Some days, you wanna eat all the pizza and drink all the beer you want while watching stupid late night movies with Tom.

Some days, you just want to give up.

And that’s how you’re feeling right now.

You knew Tom was catching on to your behavior, especially with eating. You felt ashamed when you had to decline the traditional things you would eat together and drag his spirits down with you. You had to admit, sometimes you would become jealous that he could eat whatever he wanted, and burn it off quickly without a change in his sculpted body.

It didn’t seem fair to you.

Getting out of the shower, feeling cleaner, you decided to hop on the scale one last time, completely naked. After taking your habitual ‘moment of truth’ deep breath, you stepped on and the result was the same.

“Fuck,” you swore under your breath. It was true.

You stepped off and proceeded to dress yourself with anger, not wanting to dry your hair.

Exiting the bathroom, you passed Tom, who was still in the kitchen, and walked over to the sectional couch where you took your usual corner spot. Tom eventually bumbled over, holding two glasses of a brown, thick liquid.

“I made you one anyway,” he voiced, handing you the fuller glass before sitting down next to you, his knees tucked up and turned towards you. “I figured you hadn’t eaten yet.”

Ugh, why did he have to be so good?

You returned a quiet ‘thanks’ as you accepted the glass. You didn’t take a sip but just stared down into it, the smell making your stomach yearn for a taste.

“It’s chocolate,” Tom pointed out, beaming with pride. “Your favorite.”

“....What time is it?” You asked in response.

“It’s,” Tom paused, checking his phone for the time. “10:10. Why?”

“I-I can’t eat until 11,” you remarked softly.

Tom’s expression contorted into confusion. “Well, that’s the point, babe,” he chuckled. “It’s a protein shake, you’re not eating it.”

You could hear the smile in his voice, wanting to roll your eyes playfully or do something that showed him you were amused. But you just kept your head down, letting out another sigh.

Tom’s tone changed as he saw you were serious and continued to not drink it.

“Aw, c’mon, love, please drink it. Can’t remember when you last had something to eat. And I know I would be starving after what you did at the gym today”

You hated making him feel responsible for your health. You knew you needed to eat, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him the whole truth.

“I just….want to feel fuller throughout the day,” you explained.

Tom nodded, shifting his own gaze down to his fingers, which were tapping the glass of his cup. He suddenly put his glass down on the coffee table in front of you, before moving closer next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N….why can’t you eat until 11?” He asked earnestly.

You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. That was like the equivalent of stressful things building up and you break down once someone asks ‘you okay?.’ You turned your face away from him for a second, trying to gather the words.

“I….don’t w-wanna gain weight and then regret everything tomorrow after I work my ass off at the gym and then don’t see the results,” you spat, the first tear beginning to fall.

“Aw, love,” Tom consoled, taking your glass from your hands to place it next to his on the table before moving slightly behind you so he could pull you into his arms, his chin resting on top of your head.

“What’s all this about? You know I think you’re beautiful,” he reminded you.

You sniffled, wiping your face before pulling away from him. “That’s the thing, Tom.”

“This isn’t about you. I mean, I want to look good for you but that’s not why a-and not to sound vain but...I know I’m pretty,” You rambled out, making yourself chuckle a bit.

He chuckled with you, reaching up to wipe away a tear, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ears before letting you continue.

“I know how you feel about me...and I’m glad you remind me but I just,” you paused for a moment, shifting your eyes from eyes, trying to find how to say it exactly.

“I just want to feel healthier,” you finally get out.

“I haven’t felt that way in….a while,” you admitted. “Especially when the movie premiered, I could just...feel myself going over the edge.”

More tears came to surface, you took a moment to breathe through them.

“And my body just isn’t like yours, I gain weight so easily! And working out everyday isn’t enough; I have to practically not eat anything to see any change in the numbers...right now I’ve been fluctuating back and forth...I just can’t seem to get out of this spot..I-I just,”

You broke down at that point, leaning back into his body as he comforted you, pulling you into his lap.

“It’s okay, baby. You’ve just worried me, ‘s all,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Didn’t mean to make you worry,” you apologized as your tears subsided, resting your head on his shoulder. “But I’m putting in more effort than I can give and it leaves me exhausted everyday. I’m just….frustrated.”

“I’m sorry you’re having a rough time, love. It is hard,” Tom agrees. “But just remember that you’re your own toughest critic and I know you’re strong enough to overcome that. I, for one, think you look sexy as fuck,” he voiced, a hand squeezing your hip.

You chuckle a bit, sensing a similar situation. “I could say the same for you.”

“What do you mean?” Tom questions with a smirk.

You sit up again, leaning back into the cushion of the couch with his arm still around you.

“You’ve just openly talked about how you thought you looked better in the last Spider-Man than in this one so,” you shrugged.

Tom scoffs a laugh. “Yeah, but, that was different. I still look good, I just thought I looked better in Homecoming,” he clarifies.

“Okay, well, I, for one, think you look sexy as fuck anytime,” you emphasized, throwing his words back at him, while squeezing his thick bicep.

Tom tipped his head back, laughing before wrapping you in his arms again to squish you into a hug. Pulling away, he kissed your lips quickly before pulling away slightly, his nose brushing yours.

“Well, my point is, we can figure out what you need together. I’m glad that you’re trying to help improve on yourself but just know that I’m here to support you all the way.”

“Thanks, Tommy,” you giggled before placing your lips on his again, your hand going to the back of his neck while his pulled your waist closer.

“Starting with,” he spoke against your lips before pulling away and reaching over.

“Chugging this,” He held the drink he made for you in front of you, prompting you to finally drink it.

“Are you serious?” You laughed, raising your brows.

“YESSSSS,” he replied, singing loudly. “You’re gonna have to drink it if you wanna build that muscle,” he pointed out, squeezing your bicep, which had a little more loose skin on it than his did.

You sighed dramatically, taking the glass from his hands, looking down at the thick, brown liquid again.

“Weeeeeee like to drink with Y/N because Y/N is our mate—” Tom started sing-yelling again, this time belting out one of your infamous drinking songs.

“—Okay, okay” you shushed him, covering your hand over his mouth to silence him. “But if I puke, you’re gonna regret it.”

“And she gets it down in 8, 7, 6…”

Bitch.

A/N: im back bitcH. heres a lil surprise for everyone, i know its not GRIND but i want to thank everyone for being so patient with me while i was away! i wanted to start with something a lil smaller before i get back into GRIND but i have been writing for it and it’s coming, i promise. i thought of this idea this morning and wrote it today (fastest i’ve written in a while) and this ones pretty personal for me rn bc i have been struggling with trying to take care of my health and i thought it tied in well with toms comment about his physique in ffh. anyway, be patient with yourself and consistency will take care of you!!

xx. tommybaholland 🌺

i haven’t written in a minute pls tell me ur thoughts!

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stenbroughbros · 6 years

Text

Reddie - 21st of November iv

21st of November, Chapter 4; Flowers Under The Morning Sun (chapter 4/6)

Find the rest of the chapters here!

Summary; Richie is isolated and alone after breaking up with Eddie and departing from the rest of the Losers Club; he wants to make it right again, but is it too late?

Warnings; No warnings!

5th of December;

Mikes days had seemingly faded in and out, weaving into weeks. School was quiet, as it usually was these days, just like the rest of the losers were; quiet and subdued. Not the sort of peaceful quiet you can find under the stars, but more of an ominous quiet you find before a storm. The whole world seemed quiet to him at the minute.

Mike stared out the dirty window at the snow falling gently to the ground, snowflakes occasionally just slipping down the window instead. Richie had always loved the snow, Mike thought to himself, Christmas had always been Richie’s favourite time of the year. His family had rarely gave him anything for Christmas, never cooked him a meal or gave him presents, and so the other losers had always bought him presents instead; Mike remembered how they’d all meet up by the quarry in the afternoon on Christmas and bring along their presents for Richie and any plates of leftover food they could get.

“Guys- guys you didn’t need to do this,” Richie burst, watching the losers’ smiles as they glistened with joy, handing Richie his presents.

“Y-yes we did, Richie- it’s what you deserve,” Bill chirped with his usual warm smile and softened gaze.

Richie unwrapped all his presents in front of the losers as they crouched around the rock he sat on, unwrapping the Walkman they’d banded together to buy him, the abundance of sweets, the mixtape Eddie had put together for him (he’d called it ‘Losers in Love’), and the handmade bracelet with ‘lovers’ sewn in the middle. He gently placed his presents on the rock he sat on, carefully to his left, as he pulled the losers into a group hug.

“I love you guys so much,” Richie cried blissfully as Eddie comfortingly ruffled his black curls, “I don’t even deserve you guys,”

“Mike?” A hazy voice asked, “Mike, you okay?” The voice repeated with a small, nervous laugh, Mike then realising it was Stan.

“Hey- yeah, sorry.” Mike replied, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. Stan simply smiled back and continued eating his sandwich. The losers were sat in the dingy cafeteria of their school, beginning to talk again as their worrisome eyes peeled away from Mike.

“Don’t worry us like that!” Eddie, who was sitting on Mikes left, playfully scolded, as he knocked their knees together, “You still coming to Bills tonight? We’re gonna be watching some Christmas films!” He continued, feigning a cheerful spirit.

“No, I can’t, I’ve- I have to stay back with family tonight.” His response was greeted with a light sigh from the rest of losers, but they were understanding of how hard he was pushed to work around the farm;

But this time, however, he wasn’t going home to help his family. His mind had strayed elsewhere already.

“Eddie, I th-thought we were watching Star Wars and not Christmas films,” Bill questioned, “what’s Stan gonna do?”

“I thought we agreed Stan wasn’t watching the film and was just going to play the board games afterwards?” Eddie retorted, “Usually you two don’t even watch the film, all I ever see is you guys playing with each others hair-“

“We d-do not!”

“Oh sure, Bill, that’s why you can totally remember the plot to Gremlins.”

Mike giggled a little at the argument between Eddie and Bill, picking back up his half-eaten sandwich as he listened to their playful bickering. That always used to be Bill and Richie’s thing.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on by, lessons coming and going as he scribbled and doodled onto his paper; words didn’t make sense and numbers didn’t add up today. And the sound of the buzzer marking the end of the final period was almost like some sort of blissful tune to his ears.

Stan and Mike walked home in a comfortable silence; Bill and Ben were going to the shops to get snacks before the film night, and Bev had taken Richie’s place in walking Eddie home. Stan had decided to walk back with Mike, needing to get ready so he could go to Bills early and spend some time with Bill once Ben left to go get ready, and before they were surrounded by the rest of the losers.

“I take it you’re going to ask Bill to the Winter Ball?” Mike said with a soft smile, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I’d like to.” Stan replied, flashing a warm smile back.

“Who do you think Eddies gonna go with this year?” Mike asked, his voice more solemn this time.

“I think Bev was going to take him this year.”

“He really enjoyed it last year, with Richie; Richie wearing them fucking stupid Christmas tree glasses the whole night and proposing to Eddie with that gummy ring” Mike reminisced, accompanied with a small laugh and lovable little smile.

“Yeah, last year; until Richie fucked it all up,” Stan spat, the smile fading melancholically from his face, “I wish he’d stop acting so immature.”

Silence reigned over the two boys again as they walked together peacefully. Mike could tell Stan still hadn’t forgave Richie; hadn’t forgave him for hurting Eddie, for leaving without saying why, for not saying sorry. Mike couldn’t blame him, really, especially after everything those two had been through together; Richie and Stan had been through hell and back together, and it all ended so fast- It must’ve hurt like hell.

Mike hadn’t seen Richie in school in weeks; he knew Stan was worried about him even though he was cross, just like the rest of the losers, but Mike was determined to make sure Richie was alright- he had been worried sick and it was driving him mad. He still loved Richie with all his heart, even if they didn’t talk and laugh about all the little things in life like they used to. He remembered how Richie always used to come over to stay when things at home got bad, the nights they’d spend stargazing together and how they’d spend hours just talking under the moonlight about their favourite hobbies, the cold weather, or the cute things Eddie had done that day; he didn’t remember when it all changed.

And soon enough, Stan and Mike had arrived just near the turn off for Mikes house, leaving each other with a friendly hug and saying their goodbyes, Mike waving Stan off into the distance as he approached his house. Stan and Mike always shared cute little hugs together- sometimes before some big event, sometimes just because they felt like it, and it was almost a tradition at the end of a night out when everyone was saying their goodbyes; maybe it was just their thing.

Mike had almost collapsed through his door after he parted ways with Stan, running up his creaky wooden staircase to his bedroom and piling the collection of supplies he had gathered for Richie into a backpack. He had garnered together packets of food, bottles of water, some medicine, bandages, and even a couple Polaroid’s Mike had taken of the two together, with a packet of cigarettes hidden somewhere in the bag. He didn’t know what had happened to Richie; if he was ill, or just didn’t want to come to school- all Mike knew is that it had felt like an eternity since their gaze last met. And almost as soon as he got in, he rushed out of his front door and onto his bike, pedalling as fast as he could down to Richie’s house.

When he arrived, he gave a few light knocks on Richie’s front door before gently pushing it to check if it was open. And to Mikes discontented surprise, it was unlocked. He let himself in, the sound of the creaking door echoing through the hallway. Richie’s house was never this silent; the sound of Mikes breaths and heartbeat were the only thing he could hear. Where was the loud music, or the familiar sound of Richie’s laugh?

Mike made his way up the stairs, his heart palpitating in his chest as he approached the door to Richies noiseless bedroom. As he entered the darkened room, his eyes wandered around the boy’s room; clothes were creased and lain in untidied piles on the floor, the curtains drawn and blocking out the light from outside, pills spilled and strewn across the bedside cabinet, messy sheets and covers carelessly hanging off the side of the bed, and an uncared for boy perched on the end of that bed. His thick black curls were greasy and untidy, his clothes covered in filthy stains, and his gaunt cheeks were worn thin and colourless. And suddenly Mikes worrisome eyes flicked back to the scattered pills by the bed.

“Richie! Are- are you okay?” His hazy voice laced with concern called as he ran over towards the boy, “Did you-“

“Yeah, Mike-“ Richie whispered, his voice laden with exhaustion, “Yeah I did.”

“Richie, you could’ve-“

“Yeah,” his voice uttered, cold and distant, “I know.”

Mike placed himself gently next to Richie on his bed, throwing down his backpack at the foot of the bed. The room was silent, bar the sound of the two boys’ laboured breaths. Mike unzipped the black backpack and got out a bottle of water, opening it’s lid and bringing it to Richie’s lips, thinking he might be too weak to do it on his own. And after a few small sips and a sigh of relief, Mike placed it gently down on the bed behind them.

“Do you remember the night this time last year when we all went to the quarry?” Mike finally said, easing the silence with his quiet voice. All he wanted was a smile, a reaction, anything from Richie just to show that he was still in there, somewhere beneath all this darkness.

“I remember,” Richie finally broke out with his hoarse voice, a small smile wrinkling at the corners of his lips. His smile wasn’t bright and vibrant as mike remembered it to be; it looked worn and cold, with not a tinge of colour against his pale lips. “I miss it so much.” He finally broke down, his lips curling from a smile into a frown as his eyes began to well up. Mike pulled him gently into a tight cuddle, letting Richie’s head rest on his shoulder.

“Come on, Rich, we can go down there,” Mike stated, trying to sound enthusiastic as he spoke calmly, “just like the good old days.” His hands traced circled soothingly on Richie’s back as he tried to calm the other boy down; it was just like it used to be, for a few small moments. Richie never replied - he trusted Mike.

The sun gently sank in the sky, swaying amongst the sharp white clouds and the washed-out blue sky. The two boys had settled down in silence, perched on the same rock they always did, the same one they always had. It was a strange quiet between the two, Richie’s usual overworked mouth had grown wordless. There was so much to be said, but neither of them quite knew how to put it.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” Richie finally spoke, his head bowed down, his eyes fixated on the dirt around his feet, “I’m sorry for all the shit I put you through, Mike. You didn’t deserve it, none of you did. I wish I could have just taken my time and worked things out, b-but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t. I- I want things to be back the way they were. B-but now you guys don’t love me anymore.” His voice cracked as his tears freely flowed down his softly coloured, pale red cheeks. Richie’s bloodshot eyes lifted their gaze from the ground and pleadingly up towards Mikes.

“Of course we fucking love you, Richie-rich, we always have done, and we always will; even when you weren’t there, you were never off our minds. But you’re back now and that’s all that matters, the rest is just history,” Mike cooed, wrapping his arm around Richie’s shoulder and pulling him into a warm embrace, “Welcome back to the losers club, asshole.” He giggled as they watched the sun set gently into the pastel sky, Richie’s smile returning to his face as he buried himself into Mikes shoulder.

And for a moment, he thought that maybe everything would be alright in the end.

Thank you for reading! Really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I’ve never wrote from Mikes perspective so I’m sorry if my writing isn’t great, but I hope it was bearable, and it also shows Richie’s softer side, so I hope that was okay-ly written too! THANKS FOR READING, HOPE YOU ENJOYED, AND HOPEFULLY SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER, AND SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES IN THIS I HAVE A BAD HABIT OF WRITING THESE THINGS AT 1AM

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The 10-a-day diet tested: ‘I feel like a sentient composter’

New research suggests that we ought to be eating 10 portions of fruit and veg a day. Stuart Heritage plies himself with the good stuff, and Guardian cook Felicity Cloake judges his efforts

Like everyone else in the world, my blood ran cold when I heard that we are now expected to eat 10 portions of fruit and vegetables every day. That is double the previous recommended amount, and even that required too much effort for my liking. Oh, sure, the effects of 10 a day sound miraculous researchers claim that it would decrease our chance of heart disease by 24%, stroke by 33% and cancer by 13% but it sounds a bit much, doesnt it?

Perhaps not. We wanted to investigate how much fruit and vegetables you need to eat to gain the maximum protection against disease, and premature death. Our results suggest that although five portions of fruit and vegetables is good, 10 a day is even better, said Imperial Colleges Dr Dagfinn Aune, lead author of the research.

What does it mean exactly? Its 10 servings of 80g portions so three tablespoons of peas, or one pear, say, is a single portion. So, is it do-able?

A YouGov poll from 2012 reported that only one in five of us manage to hit five portions a day, let alone 10. Brave pioneer that I am, I decided to find out over the course of a long weekend, before Guardian cook Felicity Cloake judged my efforts and offered some suggestions of how better to hit my goal.

Friday Breakfast

My breakfast usually consists of horrifyingly sugary cereal, to provide me with the artificial jolt of energy required to see me through the morning. Today, however, I eat a grapefruit, a banana and an apple. Better yet, a whole grapefruit counts as two portions. Still, its 7.30am, and Ive already almost hit half of my daily quota. In your face, science. Im going to live for ever.

Except Im not, obviously, because as Harley Street dietitian and sports nutritionist Raquel Britzke points out, favouring fruit over vegetables has problems of its own. Both give you carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and fibre, she says. But fruits tend to have more carbs, and consequently more sugar, than vegetables. If you have a slow metabolism or are trying to lose weight, I recommend eating seven portions of veggies and three portions of fruit. Great.

A happy start to the experiment. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Lunch

G2 sends a photographer to my house, to show the world what I look like when Im near some vegetables. Inadvertently, my lunch becomes all the things that the photographer tells me to put into my mouth. This ends up being an apple, a banana and two different carrots.

Dinner

On a normal day, my meal of chicken and potatoes would have been entirely vegetable-free but, knowing that I now have a target to hit, I pile up a mound of cherry tomatoes on the side and work through those as well. Its not quite the advice I was given by another nutritionist, Laura Thomas, who suggested that all meals should consist of at least 50% vegetables, but its a start. A bowl of watermelon for pudding and Ive easily hit my 10.

Total intake: 10 portions.

Felicitys verdict

Stuart has immediately discovered the easy part of fruit and veg consumption: the fruit bit. Australians are told fruit should make up just two of their recommended seven portions a day because of its effect on blood sugar and he has got through 60g of sugar for breakfast alone. Although our own government seems to take the view that any fresh produce is better than the traditional British diet of Jammie Dodgers, it might be wise to swap some of this fruit for avocado on toast or a mushroom omelette occasionally, and save the sweet stuff for pudding later in the day.

Saturday Breakfast

Now that I have a toddler who can shout the word pancakes in a vaguely threatening manner, Saturday breakfast is always a rigidly enforced stack of banana pancakes. The good news: one stack has a whole banana in it. The bad news: it also has eggs and flour in it, which fill me up much more than just a banana would. However, I still manage to heroically force down an apple and two satsumas as well. Four portions, done and dusted by 8am. I am the best.

Saturday breakfast: banana pancakes and fruit. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Except, wait. After checking the NHS website, I realise that a satsuma only counts as half a portion, which knocks me back down to three. Undaunted, I eat two more satsumas to boost me back up, which means that Ive now eaten four satsumas in a row for breakfast. This is no way for a man to live.

Snack

I put my son down for a morning nap and, because of this stupid challenge, think: What a perfect opportunity to eat an entire raw carrot. It has been years since I last ate an entire raw carrot, and now I see why. Raw carrots are rubbish all chew and no reward. The carrot takes a thousand years to eat. It takes so long that my son wakes up before I finish, and I have to put the rest of it in my pocket for later. All this work, trying to sneak in a vegetable whenever I have a moment of downtime, is starting to make me feel less like a person and more like a sentient composter.

Lunch

A bowl of chicken-and-vegetable soup (which counts as a portion, according to the label), and two portions of grapes. Two portions of grapes is 28 grapes, which I count out one by one like some sort of shivering Victorian waif. What have I become?

Later, while running errands, the wind begins. There is a good three-minute stretch where a brand-new fart pops out of my trousers with every step I take. This is new. So much for science; I worry that if everyone eats 10 portions of fruit and veg a day, well all end up dead from methane inhalation.

Dinner

Meatballs and pasta and tomato sauce (homemade, so it counts) and another big bowl of watermelon. Ive hit my 10 portions again, and I only had to accidentally fumigate one shop to do it.

Total intake: 10 portions.

Felicitys verdict

Banana pancakes are a painless way to get fruit into children; top with berries to add an extra portion, and ring the changes with cheesy courgette or crispy carrot fritters occasionally. Equally, at this time of year, when salads feel a bit punishing, soup is a lifesaver: minestrone will happily absorb any old odds and ends you have in the fridge. You can also add finely chopped veg to meatballs and burgers (grated carrot or finely chopped spinach are good candidates) and, of course, if Stuart ever finishes that sugary watermelon, he could always knock up a chocolate beetroot or parsnip-and-orange cake as an after-dinner treat.

A bountiful breakfast. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Sunday Breakfast

The plan was to have a nice, big, healthy breakfast and then head out as a family to a fancy event in London. However, a combination of train cancellations, a sick wife and barely any sleep means that breakfast now consists of a chocolate chip cookie that I made with my son yesterday. The cookie has a glac cherry on it. Glac cherries apparently do not count towards your 10 a day. This feels like an oversight on the part of the NHS.

Lunch

Post-event, with my wife home unwell, my son and I find ourselves in the nightmarish epicentre of tourist hellscape London. Thomass advice for eating out is this: Ordering vegetable sides is a good option, but you could also think about replacing one of your protein foods with beans they can count as one portion per day. Trying to get more vegetarian meals in, too, will make it much easier, and this is consistent with the advice to cut back on red and processed meat.

However, this is an emergency; I just want to survive today. Lunch ends up being something that can be eaten quickly at the nearest possible kid-friendly place: a burger and chips from Giraffe. (Chips dont count as a portion, by the way. I checked.) I could have ordered vegetables but, after yesterdays carrot debacle, I realise that I would still be there chewing on it now if I had. Knowing what a failure today has become, and remembering that Thomas said they count, I order a smoothie. At least thats something.

On the train home, I distract my son and, when he isnt looking, eat some of the snacks I bought for him. I manage six grapes and a third of a satsuma, which is about two-thirds of a portion in total. Still counts, though.

Basically watermelon is terrible for you. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Dinner

Poor marital communication means that we end up eating chips again in the evening. On the plus side, we also have baked beans. Half a can of baked beans equals one portion of vegetables, and for one beautiful moment I toy with the idea of getting back on track by gorging myself on a multipack. However, the NHS guidance points out that anything over half a can still only counts as one portion, because they dont give the same mixture of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients as fruit and vegetables. This, it dawns on me, also applies to my doubled-up portions of grapefuit, apple and banana on Friday. I check the NHSs five a day website and it explains that to get the maximum benefits, you need to eat different types of fruit and vegetables. Stupid NHS. This isnt why I pay my taxes.

More watermelon for pudding, but this doesnt really make up for anything, especially since Britzke has decided to single out watermelon as one of the worst fruits to eat, thanks to its high glycemic index. Nutritionally, today has been a disaster.

Total intake: 3.66 portions.

Felicitys verdict

The problem with fruit and vegetables is that they tend to take more preparation than merely opening a packet (or, in Stuarts case, the biscuit tin), so its a good idea to keep carrot sticks or broccoli florets handy for those moments when you dont have time to faff about with cooking, ideally with a pot of something delicious to dip them into so you dont lose the will to live and reach for the crisps instead. In fact, like many healthy eating regimes, fitting more fruit and veg into your diet is much easier with a bit of forward planning. Stock up on frozen veg, tins of beans and pulses, and jars of fruit to add to meals when the salad drawer is bare. Also remember that although the potato is cruelly classed, by the powers that be, as a starchy food rather than a vegetable by the powers that be, the sweet potato is not and it makes seriously delicious chips. Just saying, Stuart.

MONDAY Breakfast

Yesterday broke me. Carting a kid about for a day is stressful enough as it is, and fretting about hitting a seemingly arbitrary vegetable target just added another level of anxiety to proceedings. So, today, screw it. Im just going to eat like normal. And, hey, if it kills me, it kills me. Breakfast is a leftover grapefruit. Happy now?

This only soups up the tally by one. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Snack

An apple. If were being honest, its an apple and two Cadbury Creme Eggs. But were only counting the fruit and vegetables I eat, not any of my other disgusting dietary habits. Still, thats two portions so far.

Lunch

More chicken-and-vegetable soup. That makes three portions of fruit and veg. If these were the bad old days, back when we were all gormless knuckle-draggers who only thought we needed to eat five portions a day to be healthy, Id have been laughing. God, I miss the bad old days.

Dinner

I make shepherds pie. It contains two tins of tomatoes, two onions, two carrots, a leek that I had lying around and some frozen peas. If Ive done my maths right, divided by five, I think this works out at three portions a person. Add in the requisite bowl of watermelon at the end and thats four portions.

Total intake: seven portions.

Felicitys verdict

In just four days, Stuarts achieved fruit and veg enlightenment: the secret to eating more is to incorporate them into your ordinary diet, rather than hoping youll magically turn into the kind of person who enjoys snacking on raw kale. Adding extra portions to stews, curries, ragus and the like makes it feel a lot less like eating rabbit food than munching on a raw carrot next time he could try mixing some celeriac into the mash on top of his shepherds pie, too. And dont worry if some days are better than others: if beans on toast and an apple are the best you can manage, its still better than nothing. Even if you do have a Creme Egg on the side.

Total four-day intake: 30.66/40 portions

(If you let me have the doubled-up fruit and veg, which you shouldnt, but hey.)

Without really trying, Ive come tantalisingly close to the target. It hasnt made me too farty. It hasnt caused me any stress. So perhaps this is the secret here: you should just eat as many portions of fruit and vegetables as you can without letting it take over your life. If it goes belly-up for a day which it will, because there is more to life than endlessly chewing on foliage then thats not a big deal. After all, whats the point of living longer if its just going to make you uptight, unhappy and flatulent? Quit whining, science. Im doing fine.