#ive got to write something for the both of them sometime soon

[lanawinterscigarettes]

I cant necessarily explain it but Dhawan! Doctor and Whittaker! Master just hold a special place in my heart 💘💘

#maybe its my love for intelligent yet dorky guys #and ruthless + ambitious women #ive got to write something for the both of them sometime soon #mosses random thoughts #doctor who x reader #dhawan!doctor #whittaker!master #dhawan!doctor x reader #whittaker!master x reader #the doctor x reader #the master x reader

[zeldasnotes]

𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖓 𝕬𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖙𝖔 🦇

This post is mostly about the hard aspects(square, conjunct, opposition) but people with the soft aspects might relate too. Also keep in mind these are my personal observations so not everyone will agree.

🌑 The need to be in control can sometimes be devastating to live with. It can even be felt physically when they are losing control or when they feel powerless. Feeling powerless can make them act in a very disturbing way.

🌒 People with this placement might be the black sheep of the family. There seem to often be something with them that differs from the rest of the family, especially physically. A lot of times they are darker than other family members since this placement can create darker features. But there seem to also be a huge difference in personality.

🌓 They have experienced women not liking them for no reason and later in life they often become like this themselves if they dont work on it. Often there is a theme of older women being mean to them and then they grow up to be the mean old woman who targets a young girl.

🌑 Ive also seen a theme of them having an evil stepmom and then they themselves meet a man when kids and treats their stepchildren just like their stepmother treated them.

🌒 There is a habit of writing people off or disliking someone based on a feeling they got from them that was actually just themselves projecting their own inner fear onto this person. Others get this feeling about them too and they are often themselves a victim of others disliking them for no reason.

🌓 It can be very hard for them to take a look in the mirror and see that they are causing a lot of the issues in their relationships themselves because they are so hyperfocused on what their partner is doing or might do.

🌑 A lot of times there was a grandmother who disliked them or were mean to them. So its not always the mother who was the worst, the issues can be with grandmothers and stepmothers too. For some reason they seem to have good aunts tho? Like their aunties seem to be the most normal in the family.

🌒 This can make someone extremely vengeful & they can resent someone for a lifetime.

🌓 People with this placement seem to often want to become popular or know a lot of people to feel like they have power. Or even want to be feared.

🌑 They seem to often be paranoid in the wrong situations but as soon as they let their guard down they get burned. Especially when it comes to women. This leads to a strong fear of letting the guard down and can make them push a lot of people away.

🌒 Eating disorders seem to be very common with these placements since eating disorders are often about control.

🌓 They fear anything that has to do with powerlessness. Being looked down on is also a huge fear here. This can make them social climbers and cloutchasers in some cases. Being a part of the ”bottom of society” is a huge fear here so they can be very drawn to important people, titles, status symbols and high power careers.

🌑 They might be very ashamed of their sensitive nature and therefore try to act as carefree as possible. Or even force themselves to become carefree and cold.

🌒 This coldness usuallt occurs in their teens until their early twenties where they shut down completely emotionally. This often makes them VERY problematic during their teens.

🌓 In the end of their teens or in their twenties they usually transform completely because of situations in their lives and experience a rebirth of their emotional selves. After this they often become beautiful souls. Not always tho. For a lot of them the bitterness stays forever because life just hasnt been fair to them.

🌑 Both women and men with this placement seems to be bothered by what women do and can be slutshamers. The kind of people to give the stankface to a woman walking by with a short skirt or ”too much” makeup, plastic surgery etc (these are things ive seen moon/pluto people react strongly too lol)

🌒 Men with this placement can have a very strong feminine energy and Ive noticed that a lot of them beef with women instead of beefing with other men and even hate on women they never met.

🌓 They do NOT like other sneaky people, unless its a man. A woman with this placement might for example refuse to talk to a woman who she gets bad vibes from but will love a man with shady vibes. Might hate a woman because ”shes fake and talks a lot of shit” but will be the first to be with a man who talks shit about people.

🌑 They pick up the psychological state of everyone extrememy fast and therefore can have strong reactions to others, especially people who remind them of themselves.

🌒 Sometimes there can be a fear of becoming like their mother. They might have a mother whos done a lot of mistakes and they are afraid of becoming like her. In some cases they can even have a feeling of disgust for their mother.

🌓 Punishment in their childhood might have been very harsh and involved stuff related to safety and nurture. Such as not getting food, being thrown out of the house.

🌑 Their mother might have liked to show her power by weird rules and ideas. If the child was freezing outside for example and wanted to come in the mother might be like ”You can come in when the clock is 5”. Or if the child was hungry ”You get food when you finished your homework.” Safety and nurture was not to be taken for granted like in normal households.

🌒 This can lead to very deep issues concerning these things and a feeling of never being safe. This can make them very fixated with food and control later in life.

🌓 The mother often had no respect for their private life or might have a hard time with boundaries. In extreme cases even being fixated on the Moon/Pluto childs sex life and relationships. The kind of mother to read their daughters diary or spy on their daughter/son when they are in their room with a romantic partner.

🌑 There is often a case of their mother figure being disgusted by them one minute and kind the next. They recieved very strong reactions from their mother figure and at times even extreme anger for nothing.

🌒 A strong fear of being controlled or used so much that they might need to rebel against what someone wants them to do to feel in control. Lets say its their friends birthday and their friends tells them that a pair of new headphones is on their wishlist. The Moon/Pluto will then buy anything but the headphones because that makes them feel used or ”what if shes telling me to buy headphones bc she knew i will run and do it, hmm i aint that easily used so i will buy something else instead to show I do what I want.” These kind of mindf*ckery is constantly going on in their head.

🌓 Betrayal by women can be a strong theme in their life. And a lot of times completely out of nowhere. Like women in their life might start disliking them for no reason without warning.

🌑 A lot of them might have experienced bullying in their childhood by a woman who was jealous of them. And might even had to change school. A lot of their issues seems to be from women envying them. And if they have asteroid Lilith or Medusa prominent this can be very extreme.

🌒 They are not only victims of others envy they can be very envious themselves too. They might not be easily jealous but WHEN they get jealous it will be extreme.

🌓 The relationship to the mother is very complicated because a lot of times the mother is the only one who understands them but at the same time the person who hurt them. Also the mother can sometimes be very similar to them. They might go long periods without talking to their mother and then a period where they hang out with her every day.

🌓 I know a lot of these observations might be negative but thats because some aspects come with more negative then positive. But these aspects can make someone extremely sensitive, loyal and kind since they understand human nature. And a lot of them make wonderful mothers/fathers.

🌑 I also want to say that these people experience issues with people with feminine energy not only women. So they will most likely have some issues with men who are feminine too, maybe even more because feminine men can be extra sensitive to this strong energy if the man is not comfortable with this energy himself.

🌒 They can feel more comfortable around ”bad” people and might not be able to hang with people who are too innocent. They can be real drama addicts.

🌓 People with this placement can be very breastfixated.

©️ 2024 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #birth chart readings #moon square pluto #moon conjunct pluto

[shmolish]

Hello, can I request Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader who likes to dance pls? Since I imagine Shadow Milk Cookie dancing around a lot, I thought a dancing Reader would be perfect for him!

Have a nice day/evening/night! 👋🏼😁

AN: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, I LEGIT STARTED JUMPING UP AND DOWN WHEN I GOT THIS REQUEST. IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO WRITE S.M.C, AND NOW I FINNALY HAVE ONE! AH, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST ☆☆☆☆☆ IM GOING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE AND ADD HEADCANONS AT THE BOTTOM TOO ☆☆☆☆☆♡♡♡♡ XOXOXO TYSM ILY.

Shadow Milk Cookie x GN! Reader. ONESHOT

Warnings: None

-Doll-

Stars shone whimsically in the sky, and the cool night breeze could be felt all around you. A quiet melody was playing from the stage inside. Standing on a balcony was you, elegantly twirling and stepping from side to side. Though your eyes were closed, you did not need them. It was song that guided you, not your sight. It was peaceful, until somebody grabbed one of your hands and forcefully spun you around.

Your eyes shot open and you could see the person who interrupted your dance standing right infront of you. Cold hands, shades of blue, crazed eyes. It was none other than Shadow Milk Cookie.

"Is this what my doll has been up to? You know, I've been looking all over for you," he would say. One of his hands were on your waist while the other was holding your own. His eyes looked deep into your eyes, and a smile could be seen on the blue cookie's face.

"I thought you were still doing your show," you would explain to him.

"Dove, I finished a while ago. I wanted to meet up with you immediately after, but you hid away on this balcony! I was a little worried," informed Shadow Milk Cookie.

"Ah, sorry." You would smile wryly.

"What's that look for?" He'd snap, beginning to pout.

"It's just funny how much you want to be around me. I didn't think you liked me that much!"

Shadow Milk would roll his eyes.

"You are so silly. Why wouldn't I enjoy being around my favorite doll? You're perfect."

He would spin you around once again and start the steps to a familiar dance. The two of you would recite this dance all of the time, so the steps have already been memorized by heart.

It was the first dance that Shadow Milk did with you.

"Dancing again? You seem to like it a lot," He'd chime as he continued to spin around with you.

"That's because I do like it a lot. Though, it's much more enjoyable with you."

Shadow Milk Cookie couldn't help but snicker. "I know. I'm a joy to be around~"

He would dip you backwards and stare into your eyes.

"But, I suppose I also enjoy our time together."

He would bring you back up to your feet and continue the hypnotic dance.

How much time has past since you two first began dancing?

The two of you had no plans on stopping any time soon, but it just had to start raining. It wasn't even a light mist that would make things more romantic. It was heavy.

"Uhg, what a pain." Shadow Milk would say through a glare. He quickly lead both of you back indoors, but the damage had been done.

"I'm so sorry doll. If I knew there was going to be rain, I would have lead us inside earlier."

"It's fine, really. I was starting to get sleepy anyway," You'd explain to him.

His eyes would widen for a moment before he picked you up into his arms. You would have started shouting at him to let you go, but something else caught your attention first.

"Ack! Shadow Milk, you are freezing!"

He couldn't help but snicker.

"Sorry button, I run cold."

Shadow Milk Cookie would place a kiss on your forehead before starting to walk both of you to your shared room.

After the two of you changed into more dry clothing, Shadow Milk immediately wrapped you up in a bunch of blankets.

"I can't have my little doll getting sick now!" He'd say as he began to cuddle up next to you.

"You're still cold.." you would whine, trying to scoot away from him.

"I know that, silly! That's why you have to share the warmth..." He'd say back, holding you closer.

He was so annoying sometimes.

But of course you still loved him.

Headcanons!

Loves dancing with you so much!

Sometimes he'll see you randomly dancing on stage, and he can't help but join in

Will 100% spin and dip you

But if on the off chance you spin him...

He gets flustered

Will make up the excuse that it just caught him off guard

But you know he's flustered since his hands turn warm...

He is NEVER warm

Loves to flirt with you while you dance

And likes giving you silly little nicknames like: button, doll, dove, star, and when he's in a silly mood, silly billy.

His favorite greeting is spinning you around or random hugs from behind

Acts like a cat

He's clingy and needy like one as well

Seriously panics if he loses you for over an hour

You have to make up for it with kisses

Man also gets jealous SO easily.

Death stares and constant harassment towards the other party

He never does this infront of you though

OKAY, I DID IT! AGAIN, THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE. PLEASE REQUEST MORE SHADOW MILK COOKIE FROM ME. I WILL GLADLY WRITE IT 😍

#shadow milk cookie #crk #shadow milk cookie crk #shadow milk cookie oneshots #shadow milk cookie x reader #shadow milk cookie cookid run kingdom #shadow milk cookie headcanons #shadow milk cookie x reader oneshot #cookie run kingdom headcanons #cookie run kingdom oneshot #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader

[babiebom]

When You Fall (VI)

A/N: these next two chapters are filler chapters so they will be shorter. When I said slow burn I MEANT IT. This is my first time writing something that I am trying to take slowly and develop the relationship. Please feel free to give me tips!

Tw: Clinics, talks of depression/su*cide, cursing.

Wc: 1.1k

Previous Next Masterlist

When your eyes open again you are back in Harvey's clinic. You can tell by the white of the ceiling, the smell of bleach, and how irritatingly bright the lights are. Sitting up, your head pounds painfully. For a second you have no recollection of what happened, then you remember. You got your ass beat by a sentient blob of jello.

Hearing movement outside the room, you cringe into yourself. You weren't trying to get yourself killed or hurt this time…you were at first but you weren't when you got knocked out. That had to count for something, right? Maru and Harvey wouldn't be upset would they? You weren't even friends with them, but the thought of them being disappointed in you made your stomach twist uncomfortably. You suck in a breath and wait for one or both of them to come in. They should be checking on you soon, right?

The ticking of the clock did nothing to ease your worries, and instead echoed around your brain, stirring up the thoughts as if it were kids kicking up dust, and neither did picking at the iv in your arm help anything. After a while, the sound of steadily nearing voices makes your heart jump, and despite the feeling of wanting to pretend to be asleep you stay sitting up, now staring at the wall across from the door.

The door opened softly, and the voices quieted down as they entered. You could hear one more pair of footsteps and almost believed they had called your mother before remembering what had led you to this place to begin with. You squash down a sob as whoever it is enters, seeing Harvey, Maru and the blonde guy from the Saloon.

"Ah! You’re awake!" Harvey smiled softly as he approached you, you nod offering him a watery smile. The embarrassment began its climb up your throat, making it burn. There was no hint of disappointment or judgment in the man’s eyes, yet you felt it in your soul. There was no reason for him to be nice, maybe he was happy you kept getting hurt so you had to give him money, but even that thought was stupid with how nice the man was. “Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine…” you peer at him through your eyelashes, watching him write something on a notepad. You panic for a second, worried he was writing something on that notepad that would either change everything, or change his opinion of you. You swallow and clear your throat, staring at the wall next to his head.

“You know those stupid jello things in the caves are hard to…kill…”

Harvey looks up at you without surprise. He just smiles softly and continues writing on his notepad and it does nothing to stop your nerves. You didn’t know him well, and that meant you didn’t know how he was going to react. Knowing doctors though, they get all in your business and you didn’t want that.

“So unfortunately, you’re going to have to stay here for another night. I had to give you fluids and monitor you all night because of how badly you were beaten, as well as how exhausted you were. Your body is in no condition to do any farm work or even move around much for today. You need to heal.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What’re you writing?”

He chuckled at you, “just writing some prescriptions for when I release you tomorrow, just some antidepressants, and something to help with any pain. I’m sending the prescription to Zuzu City so they can be shipped by tomorrow or at least sometime this week.”

“Oh…” your body deflated in relief. Just some antidepressants that you weren’t going to take, good. For a minute you worried he was going to ship you off somewhere to be evaluated. The blonde guy and Maru chatted behind him, not paying attention to you until Harvey leaves the room then they approach.

Maru sighs as soon as she gets to you, her hands resting on your arms as she stares at you, her eyebrow’s furrowed. “I was so worried about you! I can’t believe you almost died!”

You force out a chuckle, allowing her to hold your arm. It seemed like she actually cared, and the blonde guy also looked somewhat worried, which was odd as he didn’t seem interested in you before. “I didn’t really mean to get hurt. Those stupid jello things overwhelmed me and when I tried to escape I guess I forgot to make sure they weren’t behind me.”

“Jello things?”

“Yeah? Down in the mines. They’re like sentient, see through, make gross squishing sounds?”

“Oh…no one really goes down into the mines except for that man that lives near us in the mountains and sometimes Clint.”

“Well, the things are little assholes and I hate them.”

“I’m glad my brother noticed that you had went in! Otherwise you would probably be dead.”

“Huh?”

The blonde guy looked sheepish, scratching the back of his head and smiling. Maru looked over at him in confusion, and you sat there confused. Her brother saw you go into the mines? “Yeah, Sebastian went down and saved you…he would’ve been here but he had to work or something. He sent me to make sure you were okay.”

You nod, mind blank with the knowledge that it wasn’t that you were lucky and somehow made it out to a place where someone had found you. Now you were embarrassed knowing the fact that some random guy you met ONCE saved your life and didn’t even stick around to make sure you were okay. You didn’t want nor need him to stick around, it just hurt a little.

“Well, thank him for me when you see him! Tell him I owe him a favor.” Sam nods in response, standing there awkwardly until he makes up an excuse to leave.

Over the next couple of hours your mind can’t help but go back to the knowledge that Sebastian saved you. Honestly, you thought that it was probably Marlon that had dragged you out of there, and you could’ve sworn that you had pressed the button to go up, but then again maybe you didn’t. The last ten minutes of you being in the mines was a little blurry.

You couldn’t even respond properly when Harvey cuts out the lights, bidding you good night before locking up the building. God, you had to clean up your act. Now that someone has had to save you, twice that is, meant that your actions were burdening others, which was something you didn’t want at all.

Hopefully those antidepressants help, otherwise actually putting effort towards recovering is going to be hell.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv sebastian #stardew sebastian #stardew valley Sebastian #sdv sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian x farmer #stardew sebastian x farmer #stardew sebastian x reader #stardew valley sebastian x farmer #stardew valley sebastian x reader #sdv x farmer #sdv x reader #stardew x reader #stardew x farmer #stardew maru #stardew sam #stardew harvey #stardew fic #stardew fanfic #sdv fic #stardew valley fic #sdv angst #stardew angst #stardew valley angst #slow burn

[sunoksunny]

It’s All Ending Now | N.RK

Pairing: nishimura riki x kumiho!reader (fem)

Genre: written for @svngcore​‘s ‘so ends the myth’ collab; fluff, angst, fantasy, based on a myth (kumiho)

Warnings: minor character death, blood, wounds, violence, weapons, kissing, hints at misogyny, heeseung being slightly insane, near death experiences, large timeskips

Word Count: 10k (10,883)

Synopsis: As a kumiho, it was only natural that you would kill. However, you put limits and standards on who you took the hearts off. You only messed with boys who showed blatant disrespect for the world around them and gave them what they deserved. All of them turned out to be the same in the end, they always did. But when you lock eyes with a boy through your window, you get a sense that something is different. Will this be the exception you have silently wished for? Or will both your hearts end up crushed, hopeless against the winds of fate?

Author’s Note: guys i really procrastinated this one BUT i’m actually quite happy with how it turned out. it is by far the longest fic ive written, my previous longest one was only 3k,,, so um yea i kinda had a field day. but thank you soul for hosting this collab, i had so much fun writing this even if i struggled a bit to meet the deadline due to me procrastinating (i literally had the idea for this since the beginning of the collab and only started actually writing it like a week ago HA...) i hope you all enjoy !!

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here in the woods?”

You turned your head towards the voice, meeting the eyes of a brunette boy hovering over you. You quickly scrambled up, dropping your hands away from the berries you had been picking. Of course, you hadn’t actually planned on picking them, but you needed something as an excuse to lead him away.

You stifled your giggle as you watched the boy stare at you in what could only be described as awe. You feigned surprise at having been seen and looked around in worry, leaning closer to call to him.

“Please don’t tell anyone, I just wanted to pick some berries as a gift for my mother. She really loves them, but she’s too sick to get them herself, so I thought I could pick some for her.” 

You took a second to admire the boy’s features. His face was gently round with small and soft features, almost delicate. His eyes were framed by long, feathery eyelashes, yet they still held a certain glint of mischief. His lips formed a natural pout, and you watched as they turned into an easy smile. 

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell. I’m not really supposed to be here either, my mom says it’s too dangerous. But I want to hunt, so I snuck out.” The boy claimed proudly, his eyes crinkling a little at the corners as his smirk grew wider.

Of course, he would want to hunt. No matter how pretty a boy is, they all still want to ruin everything natural and innocent.

You gasped in mock surprise and let a small smile grace your lips. You looked over your shoulder once more before taking a step closer to him.

“What’s your name?”

“Beomgyu.” 

You smiled again and watched as he returned it effortlessly.

“Has anyone seen Beomgyu lately? We were supposed to go fishing yesterday but he never showed up.” Jake asked, poking at his lunch with his fork before looking up at the others. 

Niki and his friends were sitting where they always did, under the big oak tree near the forest, a little ways away from their village. It was their place to retreat from everyone else, a place for only them. They saw it as a much-needed break, especially since they were growing older and girls had begun to fling themselves at them more and more as their parents pushed them to find a girl and get married. Sure, the boys had never been opposed to the attention they got from the girls in the village, but Niki guessed the thought of having to settle down and marry one of them someday soon became a little too much sometimes. Luckily, Niki was the youngest of their group and his parents had not yet brought up that topic to him, so he was still free to mess around as the rest of them had done before.

“You haven’t heard, Jake?” Jungwon gasped.

Jake tilted his head, confused. 

“Heard what?”

“Beomgyu’s dead. He was killed.” Jay said. He paused for a moment before speaking again, “I heard some of the townspeople saying it was a kumiho.”

Jake’s face morphed into something similar to horror, whether at the fact his friend was dead or the prospect that a kumiho killed him, Niki wasn’t sure. In all honesty, he didn’t know how the news had managed to escape Jake. The whole town had been talking about the murder and the possibility of a kumiho for the past few days. Niki had even heard his mother talking about it, and she wasn’t even positive creatures like that existed. But after all, this was the third boy killed in the span of a month. All the boys had gone into the woods the night they disappeared, then turned up a couple of days later with their hearts missing. Many people didn’t think it was just a coincidence. 

An unsettling silence washed over the group. Heeseung frowned before his eyes lit up, an idea popping into his head.

“Hey, why don’t we go into the woods tonight as a group?”

Sunoo looked at him in shock, his mouth falling open, “Are you crazy? What if the kumiho’s real? Do you want to get killed?”

“Of course not,” Heeseung scoffed, “But if it is real, it can’t kill seven of us, right? We can just fight it off or something. And if it isn’t real, then we can put an end to all those rumors going around about it.”

Sunghoon was the first to agree, an affirming word leaving his mouth. Heeseung smiled before asking the others. One by one, they all agreed, albeit a few a bit more hesitantly. When Heeseung looked at Niki, he out a small chuckle at the younger boy’s quick agreement. All of them knew that Niki was rather dependent on them, having grown up practically attached to the rest of them at the hip. 

Finally, Heeseung turned back to Sunoo, a sly grin plastered on his lips. The two stared at each other for a few moments before Sunoo sighed, reluctantly agreeing. Heeseung let out a small cheer before clapping his hands together.

“Alright, let’s meet back here tonight at eight.”

Niki trudged towards the tree with Sunoo at his side, the rest of their friends already waiting, their figures illuminated by the lantern one of them was holding. Sunoo breathed out a sigh, and Niki tilted his head to glance at him. The boy still didn’t seem very enthusiastic about this whole ordeal. Niki couldn’t help but feel a little rustled by his friend’s uneasiness, and silently nudged Sunoo’s hand with his own. When Sunoo looked at him, Niki gave him a soft smile.

“Are you scared?” Niki questioned.

“No,” the older sighed, “I just think it’s a bit silly to be doing this.”

“Silly?” 

Sunoo stopped for a moment and met Niki’s gaze. “Don’t you? Even if there isn’t a kumiho, it’s late and we won’t be able to see well. The forest is full of wild animals and poisonous plants that we aren’t familiar with. If someone does get hurt, it’s gonna be hard to find our way out of the forest quickly and without other incidents.”

Niki stilled. In truth, he hadn’t really put much thought behind his decision. If everyone else had said yes, then he would too. Niki didn’t consider himself a follower, in fact, he was rather the opposite. But he trusted his friends and would follow them in whatever they chose. Sunoo watched Niki as he thought, before taking another breath and starting to walk towards their friends again.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m sure we’ll be fine. Besides, I'll be there to keep everyone out of trouble.” Sunoo said as he turned back to him with a light smile on his lips. Niki nodded, following the boy.

Jake was the first to notice them, calling out with a bright grin. Jay quickly quieted him, reminding him that it was in fact late at night and people might get suspicious if they heard yelling. Sunghoon joined in, although his remarks toward Jake were a little more snarky. The two were still arguing by the time Niki and Sunoo reached them, Heeseung slinging an arm around their shoulders with a broad grin on his face. 

“Now that everyone’s here, should we get going?” He asked. The group nodded as one, as they set off into the forest with only the small oil lamp to light their way. 

It was relatively silent for the first few minutes, each of them carefully not to be too loud in order not to awaken their drowsy town, as well as to not accidentally scare each other in the process. The seven boys moved relatively slowly, the one measly light between them halting them from progressing quickly. A silence drifted over them as they ventured further in, every now and then someone would snap a twig and their soft footsteps would freeze. Niki wondered if they were really scared of something being out here. After all, no one would be able to hear a single twig cracking all the way from town.

Eventually, they stumbled into a small clearing. Well, about as clear as it had been so far. There were still trees littered around and shrubbery to shove aside, but it wasn't nearly as dense as the woods they had traveled through prior. The boys drifted from their single-file line and glanced around as best they could in the dark. Suddenly, a hand was pointing toward something near the edge of the clearing.

“Hey, is that a house?” A voice Niki recognized as Jungwon called out from beside him. Following the boy’s hand and peering past it, Niki saw a small building. It seems rugged and hollow, but nonetheless, it did look like a cabin.

“Do you think the kumiho lives there?” Jake asked, his voice a little breathy.

“I mean, who else lives in the woods” Heeseung replied, stepping over a tree root to cross towards the structure. Sunoo reached out to grab his wrist, an almost pleading look in his eye.

“What if someone lives there? You can’t just break in!” 

“If a person lived in there, they would take better care of it,” Heeseung scoffed, turning away and resuming his way over, “come on, guys!”

Niki watched Jay give Sunoo an apologetic look, patting him once on the back before following Heeseung. The others trailed behind the two oldest until it was Niki and Sunoo alone again. Niki fixed him with a questioning look, but Sunoo simply sighed, gesturing to the youngest before setting off to catch up with the rest.

When Niki arrived at the front of the house, Heeseung and Jake were already attempting to get in. Heeseung had a shoulder against the door, trying to forcefully knock it down. Jake was kicking at the bottom of the wood, although both boys’ attempts seemed to prove futile. Sunghoon spoke up, pointing to the handle on the door.

“Doesn’t work. It’s stuck or something,” Heeseung gritted out, pulling back before slamming his body against the door. It seemed to rattle the frail house, and the sound of something crashing came from inside the cabin. The wooden door trembled against his weight but held firm nonetheless. Jake looked at the boy with widened eyes, and slowly backed out of his way. Heeseung rammed into the door over and over, grunts leaving his mouth with each collision. The rest of the boys simply watched him, the forest silent save for the thuds and creaking of the house. Niki glanced over at Sunoo, seeing the boy’s face scrunch up in a wince every time Heeseung’s body collided with the wood.

Eventually, Heeseung sunk down in front of the jammed door, his steadfast resolve cracking. His head leaned back to rest against the wood, a sigh slipping past his lips. Niki stared at him before his eyes drifted to look at the house. The wood was splintering in some places, and the wood pillars at the corners of the house looked close to falling apart. The windows were hidden by shutters, although one was hanging off by the hinges, allowing Niki to see the glass behind it. It was surprisingly clear, and he didn’t see any cracks at all. The seemingly pristine condition of the window was in direct contrast with the withering state of the rest of the cabin. The building was obviously abandoned, and yet the window’s glass seemed to be kept clean and cared for. Niki leaned forward a tiny bit to look closer at the window, attempting to make out the inside of the house, only to see a figure blocking his view.

Wait, what?

Niki froze, blinking a few times. Perhaps he was simply imagining things. Yet still, a pair of eyes met his through the window. Inside the cabin, a girl stood in front of the window, peering at Niki with a curious glint in her eyes. Niki’s gaze flickered toward Heeseung in a panic, but when he looked back at the window, the girl and her inquisitive eyes were gone. Niki felt an unsettling dread build in his gut, the desperate urge to leave filling his body. A small voice in the back of his mind wanted to push further, to know more, but his innate instincts won. The realization hit him all at once: that it was almost midnight, they were in the middle of the forest, outside a strange cabin, with a peculiar girl watching them from the window, and Heeseung was sitting right beside the door. 

“It’s probably abandoned, it looks pretty rundown. I don’t think there is any use in trying to get inside,” Niki rushed out, “we should probably start heading back anyways.”

Heeseung slowly pushed himself to his feet, a grin spreading across his face.

“What is it, getting cold feet?” He mocked, his tone light.

“I agree with Niki, let’s go home,” Jungwon yawned, “I’m getting tired.”

The seven of them begin to make their way back towards the village, leaving the cabin behind. Niki swears he hears Sunoo breathe a sigh of relief but chooses not to comment on it, still a little stunned by the perplexing girl through the glass. Niki glances at the empty window once more, only the darkness meeting him now.

“Hey, Niki! Hurry up, man!” Jake calls out. Niki shakes his head, turning and trailing after his friends. It was silent as they followed the path they took to the cabin, a lingering feeling of unease followed him until they exited the forest. The boys bid each other goodnight, small smiles exchanged, some pulled a little too tight around the edges. 

Although Niki still felt apprehensive as he snuck back into bed that night, a peculiar wonder began to eat at him. Why was that girl living in the woods? Where is her family? Why didn’t she do anything? Question after question flittered through his mind, not a single one was he able to answer. But Niki wanted to know. He felt a desire to learn about whoever it was he saw that night, and it unsettled him almost as much as actually seeing her did. Adrenaline was still running through his veins, and with that alone keeping him awake, he formed a plan.

The next night, Niki snuck out through his bedroom window again, carefully shutting it behind him when his feet hit the dirt. It was a little bit more difficult tonight, however, because not only was Niki carrying his own oil lamp, but draped around his wrist was a basket, a white cloth carefully wrapped around the contents inside. 

That morning, Niki had taken a bit more for breakfast than he usually did, claiming he would eat it for lunch as well. On top of his usual bread and jam, he also grabbed another serving of both, and a bit of cheese to go with it. Then, under the pretense of having forgotten something in his room, he quickly stashed the loaf of milk bread, the jar of strawberry jam, and the cheese block in the basket, tying a knot at the top of the cloth to keep ants away, and shoved it under his bed. He didn’t get to eat much that day, but honestly, Niki didn’t think he would be able to stomach it anyways. Worry was eating at him for most of the day, the thought of being completely alone in the forest, unable to call for anyone if something went awry. But Niki shook it off, his eagerness keeping him going.

Gripping the lantern tighter, Niki began his journey to their tree and the forest beyond. He followed the path the seven of them took the night before, retracing their steps a little slower than before, keeping a careful watch on his surroundings. He arrived at the cabin without any adversities, swiveling his head once more before walking to the front steps. Niki carefully set the basket in front of the door, the wood seeming sturdy even after all Heeseung did to it the previous night. 

Niki’s eyes flickered to the windows, the single shutter still hanging loosely. He refused to look too closely this time, quickly slipping away from the house without lingering too long. He felt much more vulnerable without the assurance of the other boys beside him. Niki ran all the way back through the forest, leaves whipping against his skin and the gentle breeze turning fierce as he pushed out of the forest. He didn’t stop running until he reached the safety of their looming oak tree, feeling its embrace as his feet hit its roots. Niki paused for a moment, his breath coming out in quick pants. After catching his breath, Niki turned to look over his shoulder, a small grin forming on his face. 

Now all he had to do was wait.

“Niki! Are you listening?” Jake waved his hand in front of Niki’s face, successfully pulling him from his daze. The seven boys were currently sitting around Sunghoon’s room listening to Jake tell them about his most recent catch from the lake and how his mother was complaining he spent too much time fishing. Jake shook his head at Niki before continuing his rant.

“And she kept going on about how I needed to start focusing more on finding someone to marry and settling down,” he rolled his eyes, lifting a hand to rest his chin on, “like I need to find someone, we all know that any of the girls in town would be kill to end up marrying one of us.”

Although there were some scoffs from the older boys at Jake’s confidence, it wasn’t as if he was wrong. They were popular in their village, and especially popular among the girls. Before Heeseung and Jay finally decided on one girl, they typically had a new one hanging off their arm every week. The rest of them always had girls giving them gifts and whatnot, vying for their attention. More often than not, girls would give them gifts in the form of food, such as pies or freshly baked bread.

Like the bread Niki gave to the girl in the forest.

He quickly shot up from his spot on the floor, muttering an apology about not feeling well and going home early. Niki ignored the weird looks the other boys gave him, walking out the door and away from their prying eyes. All he could think about was that girl. He had visited her cabin again last night, only to find the food was gone. And not only was that gone, but so was the entire basket, meaning that a human had to have taken it. An animal would have no need for a basket, and it was unlikely that it would even attempt to take it. The fact that it was gone confirmed his suspicion that someone lived in that cabin. He hadn’t been seeing things when he saw the figure in the window. But what should he do now? Was he supposed to tell his friends?

Lost in his thoughts, Niki didn’t pay attention to what he was doing or where he was going. He was only pulled back into reality when he felt a sharp sting on the side of his arm. He looked down to see blood beginning to trickle from a cut on his bicep. He winced, feeling the cloth of his shirt brushing against the wound. He glanced around him for the cause of the injury when he spotted someone crouching down near him. He paused, surprised to find someone else out here. He took a few steps closer, trying to get a better glimpse of the mysterious person. 

The person seemed to be a girl, and she was crouched down beside a thin red fox, feeding it something out of the palm of her hand. Niki was a little shocked, everyone knew it was dangerous to go in the woods in general but to get that close to the unpredictable wildlife? It was essentially begging to get attacked. Niki craned his neck, peering at the girl’s hand, where a small piece of cheese sat being offered to the fox. With a start, Niki realized that could be the cheese he gave to the girl in the cabin, and this might just be that girl.

“Hey, you!” Niki yelled, wincing at his own volume. The fox jerked its head up before darting off deeper into the woods, leaving the girl and her bit of cheese behind. She turned to where Niki stood, a scowl on her face. Even with her expression distorting her features, Niki could tell she was beautiful. Niki didn’t get to admire the girl for long before she was stomping over to him, calling out as she did so.

“You scared the fox away! He has to eat too, you know,” she snapped at him, waving her hands around for emphasis, “Do you always just go around yelling in the woods, huh?”

Niki rubbed the back of his neck, a little sheepish at being scolded by a girl he didn’t even know. He mumbled an apology, speaking up once her temper had quelled.

“But you know, it’s dangerous in the forest. You really shouldn’t be out here.”

She wouldn’t quite meet his gaze, but he saw her roll her eyes anyways, “Oh yeah? Then what are you doing out here?”

Niki was taken aback by this, not expecting her to rebut him. He fumbled over his words, claiming that he was just looking for something, a certain kind of berry. When questioned why, Niki made up some random nonsense about how if you see those berries, it brings you good luck. Niki didn’t know anything about berries, nor did he care for superstitious myths like that, but he couldn’t tell her that he was trying to find a random girl he saw in the window of an abandoned cabin that he didn’t even know what she looked like besides a brief glimpse.

“Is that so?” the girl questioned, clearly unconvinced by his ramblings. She finally lifted her head enough to meet Niki’s gaze, and he sucked in a breath out of shock. 

Niki recognized those eyes, he doesn’t think he would ever be able to forget them. Her eyes were the most memorable thing about her, shining through the glass. They held the same curious tinge as they had the night he first saw her, and Niki’s chest suddenly felt lighter and eerily dense at the same time. He wasn’t even able to reply to the girl, stuck staring at her eyes as they flickered down to his arm, widening at some point below his shoulder.

“What happened?” She yelped, reaching out to examine his arm. Niki hissed when her fingers made contact with his wound, the pain flaring up even though the barrier of his sleeve prevented direct contact. The girl’s eyebrows furrowed, and she looked up at him, inquiring for permission to look at his injury. He nodded dumbly, almost hypnotized by her gaze, and suppressed a shiver at the feeling of her cold fingers brushing against his arm. 

Niki peered down at his arm, surprised to find a patch of blood soaked through his sleeve. He watched as the girl gently lifted the fabric up and away from the rest of his arm, bunching it up at his shoulder. The wound itself seemed to have gotten worse, red flaring up around the injury, blood continuing to leak from the cut. It didn’t look infected, but it was clear that it would likely be soon if it wasn’t properly attended to. The girl seemed to realize this too and turned her gaze back toward him.

“Let me clean that for you, I have some bandages at my cabin,” She told him, moving her hand away from his arm to let it fall at her side. She held a sort of determination in her gaze, and although he knew he shouldn’t follow a stranger deeper into the forest, something in his gut spurred him to trust her. Niki bobbed his head, trailing after the girl as she sharply turned on her heel and walked confidently into the trees. 

As Niki tailed behind her, he noticed she moved through the forest with a sort of learned elegance, as if she could find her way around even if she was blindfolded. She knew which trees had hidden roots, knew which shrubs and plants were poisonous, knew when there was an animal nearby, and warned Niki of all of this before he had even considered it a possibility. To be this well-versed in the forest, Niki thought she must have lived here for a long time. The thought both intrigued and saddened him. He wondered what must have happened to her to force her into living in such conditions for as long as she likely had. 

If she was a kumiho, it would make sense that she’s lived in the woods her whole life.

Niki stilled at the notion, that looming dread creeping back. The girl must have noticed his pause, looking back to give him an inquiring stare.

“What is it?”

Niki opened his mouth but no words came out. He shook his head, forcing a small smile across his lips.

“Nothing.”

She didn’t seem convinced, but he caught her gaze flicker to his arm and she nodded, quickly turning back. The rest of the walk to her cabin was silent, Niki’s thoughts swirling around his head like smoke, slowly suffocating him with their fumes.

If Niki hadn’t recognized the girl before, he definitely would have when they reached her house. It was the exact same cabin Niki and his friends had found nights prior, and it was still in the same poor condition as it had been. The girl seemed to only now realize this, and Niki saw a flush creep up her neck. She didn’t mention it, however, her strides assured as she pushed open the door with ease. Niki almost wanted to laugh, imagining Heeseung’s face if he saw this after he had so much trouble with the dreaded door.

She sat him down at a small table beside the kitchen, telling him to wait there while she went to go get supplies. Niki took the opportunity to observe the girl’s home. Contrary to the outside of the cabin, the inside was well-kept and nicely decorated. The walls held a multitude of framed flowers, each one labeled beneath in skillful ink. There were potted plants in most corners of the home, ranging from petite ones sitting on the counter to vast plants reaching to the ceiling. The walls were solid, it seemed as if there was a separate wall for the inside and outside of the house. The furniture was sparse and simple, but the abundance of plants easily made up for the empty space. Niki found the cabin rather cozy, almost warm, a stark contrast from the cold and menacing exterior.

The girl returned with gauze and two small bottles of liquid. Niki assumed one was water, but wasn't quite sure what the other was. She sat down beside him and got to work silently. She peeled off a section of gauze, dousing it in water before lifting Niki’s sleeve again, carefully pressing the damp cloth against his cut. She was gentle enough for it to not hurt much as she wiped away the blood surrounding it. Once the girl deemed it sufficient, she tore off more gauze and soaked it in the other liquid. Niki was curious, but he refrained from asking, opting to let her work instead. She turned back to him but hesitated a little before pressing the soaked gauze against his wound.

“This might sting a little.” She added, settling the cloth on the gash. Niki hissed, retracting his arm from his grip. Sure, she had given him a warning, but it still hurt, and it stung more than just a little. She also moved her hand away, peering up at him with concern. 

“I’m sorry, did it hurt?” The girl worried. Niki shook his head, even though he could still feel it burning a bit. 

“No, just caught me off guard,” He grunted. She nodded, pressing the cloth lighter this time, brushing it over the wound. Niki gritted his teeth, the burning lessening the more he got used to it. He spoke up again, partly to distract himself.

“What is this stuff anyways?”

“It’s diluted vinegar. It helps with disinfecting wounds, but you shouldn’t leave it on for too long. It could end up harming more than helping.” She answered, her voice smooth. It wasn’t long before she withdrew the cloth, and Niki let out a small sigh. He saw the corners of the girl’s mouth twitch up, but she spoke before he could say anything.

“Don’t worry, I never liked it much either.” She took the dry gauze and began to wrap it around his arm. Her touch was delicate like he was something fragile. He almost disliked it, but at the same time, it felt nice to have someone take care of him for once. As Niki watched her, he wondered if she recognized him too. She had to, right? Surely you wouldn’t forget a boy who had tried to break into your house in the middle of the night. But then again, perhaps she had mistaken the incident for a dream. For some reason, Niki wanted her to know that it wasn't. 

“I know you.” He announced, his voice much calmer than he felt. In reality, his heart was pounding, his eyes a little too wide as he watched for her reaction. The only affirmation he got that she had heard him at all was her pulling his gauze a tiny bit too tight, pausing for only an instant before resuming her work.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you a few nights ago when I was with my friends,” Niki began, his pulse creeping up his throat, “through the window.”

She finished wrapping his wound, tying it off at the side in a simple knot. He almost wanted to admire her work, the wrapping far better than he could have ever done, but he kept his eyes trained on the girl. She leaned back, looking him in the eye.

“I remember now, your friend kept banging against the door. I was woken up and took a look outside, thinking it was one of the wild animals I feed wanting food.”

Niki restrained a wince. After that disaster of a first impression, it was a miracle she even let him near her house. He felt the need to explain himself, but he quickly lost his composure, beginning to ramble and stumble over his words.

“We weren’t trying to break in! Well, we kinda were, but we didn’t think anyone lived here! I mean, from the outside, it looked pretty abandoned. Not to say you don’t take enough care of it, it just seemed a bit unkempt! That’s why we tried to get in! Wouldn’t you do the same thing? I mean, come on, it’s not every day you find a house in the middle of the woods, we just wanted to take a look inside!”

The girl suddenly laughed, her joyful expression catching Niki off guard. Her laugh was sweet, the sound easing the tension Niki had slowly built in his shoulders. She smiled at him, a soft easy-going one, and the sun caught in her eyes from the window, giving them a dazzling shine.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You were just curious. Like you said, I would have done the same thing.” She teased, giving him a playful wink. Niki flushed, muttering a shy apology. He looked back up at her, feeling his own lips tug up at her contagious smile.

“What’s your name?” He asked. The girl seemed to stop for a moment, her gaze meeting his. There was something there that he couldn’t quite place, but it made him feel warm and safe and nervous all at the same time. She seemed conflicted for a second, before letting her mouth rest into a serene smile.

“Y/n. It’s y/n.”

You weren’t exactly sure what to make of Niki. He didn’t seem to have the same intentions as the boys who you met before, didn’t have the same hungry gaze. Instead, he seemed curious, a desire to learn more about you as a person, not just for your appearance. It caught you off guard, especially since despite this curiosity, he still remained cautious of your presence. While the other boys were always smug, and overly confident in their abilities, Niki retained some humility. It honestly astonished you, knowing the crowd he hung around. You didn’t know most of their names, but you had heard about one in particular, the oldest of their group. 

When you first arrived in this town a few months ago, you saw a boy who would always wander around the forest, often killing rabbits and other small rodents. It pissed you off. You snuck around town sometimes after that, trying to see what he did besides killing wildlife. You watched him for a few weeks, watched as he went through girl after girl, watched as he corrupted their minds and ruined their reputations. It brought him a sick satisfaction, and you wanted more than anything to give him a taste of his own medicine. 

You purposely walked along the path he liked to hunt on, waiting for him. He responded about how you expected, all charming smiles and coy winks. You lured him in, purring your words and sweetening your tone. You acted like every one of the girls he had ruined, except this time it would be him.

You had known you had when his hands got a little too touchy and his glances lingered on you a little too long. His sweet words did nothing to mask the fervent hunger. He looked at you like he did the animals he killed. It sickened you, and you knew it was time. You teased him with a honeyed grin and watched his eyes widen in disbelief when you sunk claws into his heart. 

You don’t remember his name, but you knew he had a brother. You saw him at the funeral, a deep frown decorating his face and fresh tears streaking his face. You suppose you shouldn’t have expected anything different from the boy, seeing as he was your most recent kill’s brother. He played girls the same way his brother did, although not to the same extent. He only seemed to do it after his brother was gone, perhaps in his memory in some sick sense. But he settled down, found a girl, and committed fully, treating her as gold. Perhaps that is why you left him alone. Perhaps letting him live when his brother was gone was more punishment than simply killing him.

When Niki came along, he took the time to tell you all about his friends. You learned the oldest of their group was called Heeseung, and was finally able to put a name to his face. When Niki mentioned Heeseung’s brother, you struggled to keep your face neutral, desperate to not let recognition show in your eyes. You swore you did a horribly poor job, but if Niki noticed, he said nothing.

Ever since the day you had cleaned his wound for him in your cabin, he visited you as often as he could. Some days he couldn’t find you, and you simply took the chance to watch him from afar. You wanted to see if he was as gentle with the wildlife as he was with you. You had seen boys that treated you with care but blatantly disrespected the nature beneath their feet. A voice in the back of your head was hoping he would mess up, hoping that your previous view could be restored. But he always stepped with care, never intruding on any wild animal’s personal space. You ruled out the possibility of him simply being scared, as he often excitedly chattered to you about how pretty the foxes and deer were, and how he wished he could touch them. He brought more cheese with him, and you taught him how to feed the foxes. Niki seemed entranced by them, carefully reaching his hand out, palm open, with a bit of cheese. His mouth opened in a small gasp the first time a fox took the cheese, and when it scampered off, he turned to you with a bright smile and wide eyes. You had burned the image into your mind and secretly traced it into your heart.

You were quickly coming to realize it was difficult to lie to Niki. Not because he could read you easily, in fact, he was rather dense when it came to understanding your inner thoughts, but due to some odd moral dilemma. He had shattered your previous perception. His gaze wasn’t a tiger’s or a lion’s, it wasn’t a hungry beast waiting for the chance to strike. It was like a gentle breeze, light touches and dancing around, softly encouraging you onward. 

You simply couldn’t bring yourself to lie to Niki. Even on the first day, you couldn’t lie to him. Whenever a boy had asked for your name, you either made one up or simply refused to tell them, playing it off with a sly smirk and a wink. But somehow, Niki was able to make you let your guard down. Your name was rolling off your tongue before you could even think of the consequences. His tender smile as he told you his name made any thoughts or regrets evaporate.

You still remember how soft his voice sounded when he asked about your parents one night. The two of you were laying on your backs in the clearing, gazing up at the stars. He pointed out all the constellations he knew, chirping about how his mom had taught them to him when he was younger. His voice had gotten faint once he asked, and he shifted himself up on his elbows to better look at your face. 

“You don’t have to answer.” He added in a quiet voice, harmless and unassuming like a rabbit. 

“No, it’s alright,” You said. You thought for a moment about what to tell him and settled on the closest thing to the truth you could get, “I never knew them. They probably died soon after I was born.” You watched the stars, keeping your eyes away from Niki. Part of you knew that if you held his gaze for too long you might spill everything to him. And while you desperately wanted to trust him, you weren’t sure you could. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Niki slowly nod, processing what you told him. 

“Do you,” He started cautiously, “ever wish you didn’t have to be alone?”

You stared straight ahead, silently stunned. You pulled yourself out of it, thinking over his question. You didn’t have a time when you weren’t alone, so it wasn’t like you really had something to compare it to. But you weren’t alone, you knew that.

“Sometimes, sure. But I have the forest. I have the deer, and the rabbits, and the foxes to keep me company. We look out for each other, we keep each other safe.” A small smile graced your lips, an honest one, not for show or anything else. You basked in the silence for a moment, listening to the wind as it brushed over the two of you.

“And you have me.” Niki declared. You looked at him, your expression confused, and Niki cleared his throat before repeating himself.

“You have me, too. We can look out for each other. Even if we feel alone, we will be here for each other, okay?” He had a determination in his eyes that you wanted to coo at, but you felt breathless. You simply stared at him for a few seconds, silence drifting between you, but Niki’s expression stayed resolute. A tranquil feeling danced over your body, and you let yourself relax into the grass.

“Okay. We have each other.” He smiled, content, and laid back down beside you, the dewy grass tickling your bodies. 

You knew then that you couldn’t deceive him any longer.

When Niki visited you the next day, you had a sinking feeling. It was as if you were swimming towards safety but the closer to shore you swam the further away it got. You could feel your mind slowly getting tired, limbs numb as you pressed on. You prayed that Niki wouldn’t notice. You had promised yourself that you would tell him, but you wanted to decide that on your own, not because you were urged into it.

Of course, you should have known it wouldn’t happen the way you wanted. Niki had a way of making you open up. You found yourself carving spaces for him deep inside of you, time and time again, and now was no different. His eyes were considerate as they watched you, and his voice was small when he spoke.

“Are you alright? You seem on edge,” Niki coaxed, “Did something happen?”

You had never been able to lie to Niki. Even now, when faced with a question where you should have responded with a well-practiced lie, your breath caught in your throat. It was simple, you should never tell anyone about what you were, not unless you planned on them being dead within the next 5 minutes. And yet here you were, ready to spill out your heart to the boy with a gaze as gentle as the wind. In his eyes, you saw the shore you desperately needed to reach.

“I need to tell you something.”

He nodded, letting you take his hand and lead him back inside your cabin. You sat him down at the small table, taking the seat beside him. You remembered the very first time the two of you sat here, and you felt an urge to reach out for his arm, to look for the wound even though the scar had long faded. You felt Niki squeeze your still intertwined hands, and you took a breath before you spoke.

“I’m a kumiho.” You gulped, the feeling of dread building up again. It threatened to drown you, an overwhelming force pushing over your head. You braced yourself for him to attack you, ripping his hand away with a disgusted expression, using whatever was closest to him to strike you with. Or perhaps it would be worse, his gaze would turn fearful, his mouth dropping in a silent scream, and he would bolt away from you, taking the shore, taking your safety with him. 

“I know,” Niki said finally. You stared at him, astonished. 

“You.. know?” 

He nodded, a simple thing, but to you, it felt like you had finally reached safety. Your aching body collapsed against the sand, feeling the grains stick against your soaked skin.

“I’ve had a feeling since I first saw you,” He let a light chuckle slip through, the sound feeling foreign in the current situation. Niki hesitated for a second, before grasping your other hand as well, eyes piercing through you.

“Can I ask you something?”

You nodded dumbly, far too shocked to be able to think clearly.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” 

His eyes held a million questions, but he had settled on this one. You didn’t know how to explain it to yourself, let alone him You felt lost and yet seen, you were about to sink but he was keeping you afloat. When you were seconds from burning out, he lit you aflame.

“You were just… different.”

“Why? What did they do?” His tone wasn’t critical or condemning, it was simply curious. His gaze was humane, bordering on sympathetic, and you almost wanted to cry.

“They didn’t care about anyone else but themselves. They would kill wildlife and laugh about it. They destroyed and corrupted girls and got satisfaction from it. It made me sick, Niki.”

His gaze softened as you spoke, and he let go of one of your hands to reach out, brushing against your face delicately. It was only then you realized there were tears running down your face. You began to cry harder at the recognition, feeling Niki’s hands wipe away your tears as they fell, consoling you. You murmured about how you wished they would do such things, and he quieted your blubbering with soothing hands. 

You blinked away the rest of the tears, peering at him in a mixture of shame and awe. He stared back with what could only be described as adoration, a tender smile painting his lips. Niki waited until your tears had stopped falling, reduced to small sniffles before he spoke.

“Is it true that if a kumiho doesn’t kill anyone for a thousand days, then they will become human?” He asked, a glimmer of something you couldn’t place in his eyes.

“Yes, it is.” You responded slowly, doubtful of where exactly he was going with this.

“How long has it been since you last,” Niki paused for a moment before steeling himself, “since you last killed someone?”

Your voice caught in your throat, the words like a vice grip around you. Niki clasped your hands tightly, whispers of “It’s okay” and “They weren’t innocent” in his soft voice reaching your ears.

“His name was Beomgyu,” You hiccupped, “It was a week before I saw you for the first time.” The only thing keeping you steady was Niki’s secure hold.

“So it’s been a couple months?”

You nodded gently, not quite looking him in the eye. You felt ashamed, a feeling you had never had about what you did to those boys before you met Niki.

“Do you think you can do it?” He asked faintly. You looked at him then, a question written in your gaze.

“Can you not hurt anyone for the rest of the thousand days?” He coaxed, “Then you would be human, you wouldn’t have to worry anymore.” 

You almost broke out into tears again from his words. Never had you thought you would open up to someone this much, your heart in your hands, practically begging him to take it. You felt selfish, selfish for wanting to have him, selfish for tainting him with your previous actions. A part of you told you to refuse, that you had already gone too far. This was your only chance to attempt to fix things, to save him from yourself.

“I’ll wait for you, y/n, I promise. I’ll wait for as long as it takes.”

You closed your eyes then, desperately willing the tears pooling up to disappear. A single one fell down your cheek anyway, and a pitiful gasp escaped you. 

“You don’t have to, Niki.”

“I want to.” He assured, taking your face in his hands. The two of you stared at each other for what felt like ages, before he spoke again, never taking his eyes off yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nodded as best you could with his hands around your face, and waited for the press of his lips against yours. When it finally came, only then did you allow your eyes to close, breaking the gaze between you. 

It wasn’t anything like you had experienced before. It wasn’t rough, it wasn’t hungry, it wasn’t the beast you had come to anticipate. His kiss was just as gentle as he was, a soft, sweet breeze picking you up. It made you feel as light as the sky and brought you back down to Earth at the same time. It made you feel human.

Niki pulled back after a few seconds, resting his forehead against yours, a serene smile playing on his lips. You felt your own lips tugging upwards to match his, a silent wish to be able to live like him. It hit you then that you could.

“I’m scared, Niki.” you whispered in the space between you, “What if it hurts? What if I can’t do it?”

What if it doesn’t work?

“I believe in you. I’ll be by your side the whole way, I promise you.” He soothed. 

The two of you stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. You decided to trust in him. You had already given him the most intricate parts of who you were, you wanted him to have everything.

Tonight was the end of the thousandth day, and you were finally going to be human. In all honestly, you were terrified. And you were upset too. Niki hadn’t visited you for an entire week now. You knew Niki had grown up some, and gained more responsibilities, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. You should have known he would have less time for you as the two of you grew older, it had almost been 3 years since you first met each other, and his town and family were calling on him to settle down. But you refused to acknowledge that until it hit you in the face.

Despite these new duties, Niki hadn’t changed as a person. He was still sweet, still gentle when he held you and gentle with your home. He still had the same beaming smile whenever a fox ate from his hand or curled up at his feet. Niki was still your tranquil breeze, the wind brushing through your hair and guiding you along.

You had learned more about him over the past few years, and under the cover of night, even gotten to visit his village a few times. His bubbly tone as he showed you around overshadowed the consequences if you were caught. 

Thinking about all the experiences you had with him only made you more irritated that he wasn’t here with you now. He had promised you, and Niki was never one to break his promises. You had seen that time and time again, which made his absence all the more distressing. But perhaps he had simply forgotten, after all, it is difficult to keep track of every single day. You secretly prayed that he had just forgotten and that nothing else had happened.

That night, when you finally became human, it wasn’t anything grand or spectacular like you had often joked. It wasn’t the deadly pain you had expected either. Instead, when midnight arrived, you simply blacked out. The next thing you remember was waking up in the morning, sore all over your body, especially on the sides of your head, hands, feet, and lower back. You felt a rush of hopefulness wash over you when you realized those were the areas your kumiho nature was most likely to show through, whether that be fox ears, claws, or the easily recognizable nine tales. In a daze, you attempted to change fully into a kumiho, ecstatic to find that you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried. With wide eyes and a blissful smile, you began jumping around your small cabin out of pure joy.

Your first instinct was to find Niki, only to remember you hadn’t seen him in over a week. With a newfound confidence in your humanity, you began walking down to his town, intent on finding him. You still feel a little hesitant walking around in broad daylight, but to your surprise, there isn’t anyone around. Assuming they must be working inside or resting, you head to Niki’s home. You creep around the back, to where his bedroom window is. However, when you get there, you were puzzled to find wood boarded up over where his window should be.

You curiously examine it, finding a small sliver near the bottom where the planks didn’t quite reach. You peer through, seeing Niki pacing around his room. You call out to him, watching as his head snaps toward where you are in a panic. He checks over his shoulder at the door before rushing over, crouching down until he is faced with the small gap.

“Y/n? You need to run, now.” Niki insisted, his voice strained, “I don’t know how, but the town found out about us, about how you’re a kumiho.”

“But I’m not a kumiho anymore! It worked, Niki, I’m human now.”

He paused for a moment, breathing out what you could only call a sigh of relief.

“That’s amazing, really.” He answered, his tone breathy, “But right now, you have to get out of here. They don’t care if you’re human now.”

“I can’t just leave you here.” You responded. You couldn’t, not after everything he had done for you. 

“Y/n, if you don’t leave now, they are going to kill you.” 

You wouldn’t leave him now. Niki had shown you what it meant to live, to be alive. You would never leave him in a thousand years.

“I’ll be back to get you out of here. We are leaving together.” You rushed out against his pleas. You heard shouts, and snuck over to the side of his house, peeking out. There you saw what seemed to be the majority of the town, standing around with torches and a variety of weapons, ranging from swords to spears to axes. You suppressed a shudder, catching sight of Heeseung and what you assumed to be the rest of Niki’s friends. While they all looked varying degrees of upset, Heeseung looked downright furious. You briefly wondered if this was how he looked when he first learned of his brother’s death.

Before you could think about that any further, you quickly retreated back behind Niki’s house. After taking a deep breath, you began sprinting back toward your cabin. You felt the wind whipping against your face, and the leaves thrashing by your skin, but you paid it no mind. You reached your home quicker than you ever had before, throwing open the door and hurriedly flying around, tossing whatever you deemed necessary in a bag. You doubted you would be able to come back here again, so you put extra food and water than you would normally bring, multiple changes of clothes for the both of you, blankets, other basic survival equipment, and the music box Niki had gifted you last year. You slung the bag over your shoulder, checking its weight before rushing back out the door. You flew through the forest, desperate to get back to Niki before anything else could happen.

You slow your pace as you reach the outskirts of town, carefully creeping around until you reach Niki’s bedroom window again. You call out to him again, watching through the gap until you see him appear. You gently tell him to stand back and he nods, moving away. You tested the durability of the wood, pressing on it with your hand. It had more leeway than you expected, and you pull back your arm, preparing to smash against it with your bicep. Just before you were about to slam against the wood, you hear a shout near you.

“The kumiho is here! It’s trying to get to Niki!”

You turned toward the voice, spotting a woman you didn’t recognize holding a torch, pointing her free hand at you as she cried out. You took off in a flurry, your instincts sharp from living in the forest for so long. You heard Niki yell something behind you, but you were already too far to be able to clearly make out what he said. You run as fast as you are able to, taking difficult twists and turns through the forest in a frantic attempt to lose your pursuers. Soon you are only able to hear one set of footsteps behind you, and in an effort to look behind you to see who it is, you trip, falling to the ground.

Your pursuer caught up to you before you are able to get up, flipping you on your back and pining you there. You felt the cold metal of a blade pressed up against your neck, stinging as it lightly breaks the skin. You met the eyes of the person and felt a tremble run through you as you met Heeseung’s gaze. His eyes are cold, and his mouth is curled into a mocking smirk.

“I thought kumihos were supposed to be agile, hm?” He starts, feigning innocence, “I was hoping for a bit more of a chase, too bad.” He traced his sword up towards your chin, lips quirking down into a taunting frown. 

“I’m.. not a… kumiho anymore.” You gritted out, unable to talk properly due to Heeseung’s blade under your chin. He scoffed, peering down at you with hatred. He opened his mouth to speak again but was cut off by the sound of someone shouting behind him.

“Heeseung!”

You watched as the boy’s eyes widened, a deep scowl crossing his face. You recognized that voice, you knew it better than you knew your own.

“Stay out of this, Niki,” Heeseung ordered, voice bordering on a growl.

“Heeseung, please, just listen to me. She’s human now! It’s been almost three years since she hurt anyone, please don’t do this.” Niki begged. You couldn’t see him, but from the sound of his voice, it seemed like he was crying. The thought tugged at your heart despite the precarious situation you currently were in.

“I don’t care how long it’s been, this… thing will never be human. Not after it killed my brother.” Heeseung instinctively pressed the sword further against your neck, a wild look in his eyes.

“He.. wasn’t a good.. person.. your brother… hurt.. people..” You rasped out, wincing at Heeseung’s glare. 

“I don’t give a damn what you think about him. He was my brother.” 

“You don’t… know what he was.. capable of…” You croaked, feeling blood begin to trickle down the side of your neck from the small cut Heeseung’s blade made. The boy snarled at you, his dark expression causing you to shiver.

“Maybe I don’t,” Heeseung seethed, a sinister grin creeping up his face, “but I do know what I am capable of.” He drew the sword high above his head, ready to strike it down into your heart. You closed your eyes, waiting for the searing pain to arrive. 

Instead, you heard a shout, feeling the weight on top of you lighten. Your eyes snapped open, darting around until they landed on the two boys. Niki jumped at Heeseung as soon as he saw the boy lift his sword, tackling him to the ground. Heeseung’s sword had sunk into his own skin when he fell over, the deep gash on his left arm making him cry out in pain. He ripped the blade out, tossing it to the side, a deep grimace painting his features. Niki halted for a moment, shocked at his own actions. His pause gave Heeseung enough time to reach into his own pocket, pull out a small silver knife, and slash it against Niki’s shoulder. It wasn’t nearly as deep as Heeseung’s wound, but Niki yelped out in pain nonetheless. 

You scrambled to your feet, grabbing the sword Heeseung had thrown aside and pulling Niki up and behind you, pointing the sword at Heeseung. He stared at you, clutching his arm in agony. A small voice told you to just kill him, to make sure he wouldn’t follow you, to make sure he wouldn’t tell the others where you had gone. The thought of hurting him made you feel sickened, even after what he had just done to you. You gave Heeseung one last glance before you grabbed Niki’s hand and ran.

The two of you kept running until you reached a section deep inside the woods. After checking the surrounding area to make sure no one had followed you, you pulled out the gauze and diluted vinegar you had brought with you. There was a small lake here, and you dipped a piece of gauze into the water, not wanting to use up water that the two of you could drink. Niki had removed his shirt, allowing you easy access to the wound. You thoroughly cleaned his wound, before repeating the process with the diluted vinegar. Niki still flinched, even after almost three years. It made a fond smile decorate your face, even as the two of you sat in the woods after nearly being killed by one of Niki’s closest friends. 

You wrap his injury in silence, the two of you listening to the water and the wind, quiet and mild, blissfully unaware of the danger outside of its own bubble. Once you finish, you help Niki put his shirt back on without further injuring himself or disturbing the gauze. You sit back a little, guilt swelling inside of you.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Niki turn to you, confused.

“Why are you sorry?”

“You can’t go back to your home now, and you even got hurt because of me.” You set your head in your hands, the day’s events finally catching up with you. Niki slowly pried your hands away, taking them in his.

“Y/n, you are my home. I never want to live without you,” He lightly smiled, and it made your stomach fill up with warmth as he continued, “I don’t care if we have to survive on our own in the woods or worry about where our next meal is gonna come from as long as I can be with you. I would risk my life over and over again if it meant keeping you safe.”

You blinked at him before pulling him towards you, pressing your lips against his in a soft kiss. He responded immediately, letting out a pleased hum at your actions. You pulled back, pressing your forehead against yours, mirroring what he did after your first kiss. He realized this after a second, a contented laugh leaving his lips. You felt his warm breath against your mouth and leaned in to press another peck against his lips.

“I love you, Niki.” You confessed.

“I’ve always loved you.” He cooed, an honest smile brightening his expression, “All our hardships are over now, I promise you.”

And even though that wasn’t something either of you could control, you believed him.

As Sunoo wandered aimlessly around the forest with his lantern, he had never felt more ashamed in his life. He never meant for it to happen this way, truly. When he saw Niki hanging out with this girl in the woods, he originally assumed it was a girl from the next town over. But when he saw the nine tails sprouting from her backside, he froze. Sunoo hadn’t known what to do. He ran back to town without a word, and couldn’t sleep that night. He was terrified for Niki, worried that the boy might end up dead any day. He had to tell someone.

So the next morning, he knocked on Heeseung’s door and told him everything. Sunoo didn’t see Heeseung’s eyes darken, and he didn’t see how Heeseung’s jaw clenched. The next thing he knew, Heeseung was calling all the other townspeople for a search party, telling them they were going to kill the kumiho. Sunoo had no choice but to join in.

Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn’t see them. But after looking again, sure enough, there sat Niki and the girl he had seen before, sitting together on the other side of the lake. She looked a little different, less fox-like, and more human now, but it was the same girl. Sunoo wasn’t really sure what to do. He knew what most of his friends would do, they would find backup and then attack them. He knew what Heeseung would do, he would go in alone, killing the girl at any cost. But he wasn’t his friends, and he wasn’t Heeseung. So instead Sunoo stayed still, and he simply watched them. He watched as the girl pulled what looked like bread out of her bread and offered it to Niki. He watched as they ate together, and he watched as they laughed. If he strained his ears, he could almost hear the sound.

After a few minutes, a fox pranced up beside him and sat down near his feet. Sunoo was a bit startled, but when the fox looked up at him and met his gaze, all Sunoo could do was sigh. He looked back across the lake at Niki and the girl, and he knew that he couldn’t fix what he’d done, but maybe he could give them a second chance. Sunoo peered back down at the fox, and in a soft voice, he spoke.

“Take care of them for me, okay?” Sunoo knew the fox couldn’t have understood him, but for some reason, he felt assured that the fox would stay there to watch over his friend. Sunoo glanced back at the two one more time, and with his heavy heart a little bit lighter, he turned on his heel and headed back to the village.

Permanent Taglist: @starrpt2 @sunnytheos @kalabasaa @ghostiiess @redm4ri @xiaoderrrr @en-chantedtomeetyou 

#enhypen #niki enhypen #riki enhypen #nishimura riki #riki x reader #niki x reader #niki fanfiction #niki fluff #niki angst #niki fanfic #niki scenarios #riki #riki x you #niki x you #fem reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fanfic #lee heeseung #yang jungwon #sim jaeyun #park jongseong #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #niki imagine #enhypen riki #enhypen niki #enhypen ff #niki ff

[nyctophiliq]

Hi mossy moss!! Ive been so down bad for Ashe lately so id like to ask for something for her! can be nsfw or fluffy stuff, or both, whatever your little heart desires :))

and ofc pls continue to take care of yourself! eat your meals and drink lots of water!! kisskiss🫶🏽🫶🏽

✮ —SUGAR MOMMY! ASHE ; elizabeth caledonia ashe

minors dni. afab! reader, both sfw and nsfw ! — lowercase writing intended, sugar mommy! ashe, modern au, warning for any nsfw theme

moss’ notes. HI CELESTE 💗 thank you for requesting, hope this is something that fulfills your request, have a nice day kiss you too drink lots and lots of water :)

— 𝐒𝐅𝐖

ashe did whatever any successful woman would- lead a company, pocket all the money she could, make herself rich, then give back to the community that deserves it in her eyes. she had more than enough money to splurge on, all those generous men who were out to wife her and have her shares of her own company were more than willing to sign a check as high as the tallest mountains and then six extra zeros after it.

your run-in with her wasn't accidental, she had her eye on you for a while, mostly ever since you moved to the town that was not so far away from her hideout. you had something that she couldn't quite put her fingers on, she just knew she wanted to have you. conveniently, a time and place presented itself for her to ask you to be her sugar baby.

elizabeth likes to keep in touch with you, to know that you're safe and well. sometimes she'll call you at night while sprawled on her sofa with a bottle of scotch just to talk to you about all sorts of things. she'll ask about your day if you have eaten and if there's anything she can do to help you, sending money, getting bob to do your shopping- she got you covered in every aspect you could think of.

do you feel neglected? she hasn't been taking you out in such a long time? expect the most luxurious dinner date that night. she is fond of pricey restaurants, having the candles lit, expensive alcohol, and little plates that cost more than they should.

you don't have a dress for that kind of dinner date? done. shoes, bags, clothes, jewelry, perfumes, cars, money... whatever you need just ask her and she will get you as soon as. you see it, you like it, you want it, and she gets it for you.

there is no argument about if you would like to wear that costume-made necklace/bracelet with her initials on it or 'property of elizabeth caledonia ashe' carved into the gold plate, you will wear it.

whenever it was a fundraising gala for any kind of charity you were present, on ashe's side with one arm around your waist at all times, showing you off and offering you the better drinks from the top shelf.

any kind of break she has you will have ti too because she is taking you on an extraordinary trip to a surprise destination. if you don't like it she can change plans one minute to wherever you'd like to go.

— 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖

elizabeth is a busy woman, holding an empire up all by herself and filling out all those papers, going to those meetings, and having to listen to everyone's needs and wants, she had very little time on her hand. but that doesn't mean, however, that she doesn't need to have her needs met and this is where you come in.

driving with her anywhere never fails to be exciting. she drives idly, her hand on your knee while she makes small talk, with each passing minute her hand lingering upwards until she has the car pulled over in the night with you in the back seat, under her.

she likes gifting lingerie- the pretties sets for her prettiest darling, every day a new and different set. whenever she can, she delivers them herself discreetly wrapped up sometimes with a little bow on the tip if it's a rather eye-catching one (but all of them are, really) and there is also a note, signed by her with her lips pressed on the paper with that dark shade of lipstick you like so much. she likes when you wear them the whole day so when she decides to drop by or you visit her in her office and asks you to sit on her lap, her hands coming to undo some of the buttons of your shirt so she can stare at your pretty chest in her present. when it's late in the day, when there are no employees dropping by her office, her hand would slip up your thighs, up under your skirt to playfully snap the panties back on your skin a few times.

ashe prefers giving rather than receiving under any cirCUMstances. she is a generous lover too, put her aching needs after yours, no matter how bad she needed release, your pleasure was first for her.

if there's a toy you like you better tell her about and if there isn't and you are up to experimenting she will show you everything and anything she knows to spice up your bedroom life.

tag list ; @darlingmisa @soffisalive @sevikasangel @pixiegirlz @gonegonethankyouuu @orang3-ish

#📼 › moss tapes #overwatch x reader #overwatch smut #overwatch x reader smut #overwatch ashe #overwatch ashe x reader #overwatch ashe x reader smut #overwatch ashe smut #ashe x reader #ashe x reader smut #elizabeth caledonia ashe x reader

[lady-pug]

dream a little dream of me

Chapter IV of Dream a Little Dream of Me

Summary: As you settled in for the night, sleep overcame you almost as soon as your head hit your pillow.

“You called?” you heard a voice call out in the darkness.

Opening your eyes, you noticed with joyous gidiness that you were once again standing on the cobbled street, the moonlight shining softly on your skin. And Morpheus, the man you desperately wished to see, was standing only a few steps in front of you.

“I-” you almost found yourself at a loss for words “I did.”

Pairing: Morpheus | Dream of the Endless x Reader

Word count: 1,4k

Warnings: none

Notes: So… hi. I’m back. I’d like to start off by apologizing. I’m so so sorry for how long I’ve been absent, and especially for how long this story went without an actual ending to it (even though I’d promised to have it out quickly, just goes to show I shouldn’t make promises I might not be able to keep). A lot has happened in my personal and professional life in the past months that have kept me away from writing. I’ve had the first half of this chapter for almost as long as the third one has been out but so much was happening that I didn’t have the time or the motivation (sometimes I lacked both to be honest) to come back and finish it.

But I’ve finally done it. This story is finally complete. I’ve had the idea for this chapter mostly planned out in my head since chapter 1, and now I finally get to share it with you. I’d like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read this story and embark on this small journey with me, whether it be just one chapter (even just one paragraph) or the complete story. Thank you so so much for reading, and a special thank you for anyone who has left any sort of feedback, it means the world to me. And again I’m so very sorry for taking so long to write this, I sincerely hope you can forgive me. And I truly hope you enjoy this, dear reader!

Reader's gender not specified

Previous part | Masterlist | Read on AO3

Things had started to look a little bit brighter after that night. Slowly, very slowly, little by little, things in your life started getting better, getting sorted out. It wasn’t immediate, nor was it without effort, but it was something.

The first thing you did after writing ten whole pages on that fateful Word Document was to start looking for a job. Literally anything would do, just so long as it got the bills paid and added food to the table, just long enough for you to get back on your feet and find a more permanent career. You’d be the first to admit that some of the jobs you took during that time, some of the people you’d met, were simply awful, sometimes bordering on humiliating. But some you actually enjoyed, and some of the people you had met you’d keep in your heart for a long time.

You’d also tried getting in touch with the people you’d grown apart, even if they didn’t want anything to do with you, just as a way to get closure. Some answered and some didn’t. Some didn’t want to talk, others agreed to meet. Some simply told you how things you’d done had hurt them, and you told them of how they had hurt you in return. And some had even agreed to try and work things out, slowly regaining contact and, eventually, their trust.

And finally, after several long months, you managed to save up enough money to travel back to your home town for a couple of days in order to pay your relative’s grave a visit. It wasn’t perfect, nor was it ideal, but it was enough, if only for now. You felt a strange sense of calmness looking at the words engraved in their headstone. The sort of calmness you had only felt when in the Dreaming.

Speaking of, your night visits to the Dreaming and its inhabitants had been a comfortable constant in your life for the past few months, at least in the beginning anyway. At first, you kept coming back every night, cherishing your conversations with the café owner, who you had come to know was named Amanda, or the little quips Matthew threw your way whenever he saw you walking around town. Even Mervyn’s rudeness was something you had grown fond of. But the thing you looked forward to the most was seeing Dream. Sometimes he’d actually stop by and engage in casual conversation with you, other times he'd just send a small grin your way over his shoulder in passing as he strode around town. But every single time you saw him you felt a warm, fuzzy fluttering feeling in your chest.

But eventually, as things in the waking world started to get better, your visits to the Dreaming started to become progressively more scarce. You started having other dreams too, some good, some not so much, your visions of the small town, and consequently your interactions with Morpheus, dwindling by the day. While it saddened you to let this go, to let him go, you cherished it even more so.

Tonight, though, almost an entire year after your first real conversation with him by the riverside, you really wished to visit him, even if it was one last time. It had been weeks since you’d last visited and you were hoping with all your heart to be able to talk to him again. You had good news to share after all.

As you got ready for bed your thoughts kept wandering back to Dream. Why had he become so special to you? Why were you special, like Lucienne had told you, in the first place? Why did you keep going back to the Dreaming? Maybe you’d never know the answer to those questions, and you realized with a quiet start that you were fine not knowing. Those things happened, and you were honestly glad they did, there was no point in dwelling on the past now.

As you settled in for the night, sleep overcame you almost as soon as your head hit your pillow. 

“You called?” you heard a voice call out in the darkness.

Opening your eyes, you noticed with joyous gidiness that you were once again standing on the cobbled street, the moonlight shining softly on your skin. And Morpheus, the man you desperately wished to see, was standing only a few steps in front of you.

“I-” you almost found yourself at a loss for words “I did.”

He smiled softly, head slightly tilted as if to ask what was on your mind.

“It’s just-” you shook your head in order to gather your thoughts “Since… that night, I’ve been coming here less and less.”

“It’s because you don’t need this anymore.”

For a brief moment you panicked, doesn’t he want you to come see him anymore?

“What? No, I-” you stammered “I still- I still need this. I still need you!”

His grin turned soft and he averted his eyes before speaking again.

“You have gotten to a point in your life in which I am no longer needed. There is nothing holding you back anymore, you get to live your life however you see fit.”

A stinging sensation accompanied the tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to fall.

“But I still want to see you. I still want you.”

His smile widened, small lines creasing in the corners of his eyes as he took a step towards you, leaving almost no space between the two of you. 

“I once said you could see me again…”

“If I wished.” your own smile grew as realization dawned on you.

“Always.” he whispered as the back of his hand caressed your own, light like a feather.

As you stood there,breathing each other in, a moment turned into two, which then turned into a few minutes more, so much so that you almost forgot the reason for your visit.

“Why are you here?” Dream asked softly.

“Hm?”

“Why did you summon me?” he took a minuscule step back, only enough to be able to gaze into your eyes “You seemed like you had something important on your mind.”

“Oh!” you shouted, and had he been any mere mortal, Morpheus might have just flinched away from you. But he was no mere mortal and thus didn’t startle so easily, so he simply tilted his head to the side and waited for you to proceed “I finished my book.”

“That’s wonderful.” he smiled, genuinely happy for you.

“And a publisher has agreed to publish it!” you rocked on the balls of your feet, suddenly feeling bashful “I got the confirmation email today. I thought you might like to hear about it, since you were oh so interested in it before, you know.”

He chuckled softly, both of his hands resting on your shoulders to keep you in place.

“I am truly happy for you. And I feel honored you decided to come all this way to share it with me.” he removed one of his hands from your shoulder and raised it in the air “I believe this moment calls for a celebration, don’t you think?”

For the briefest of moments you panicked, believing he was sending you away once more.

“No, no, wait!” you tried to hold onto his hand but it was too late, he had already snapped his fingers.

Nothing happened. You were still there with him, not back in your bed in the morning. His smile turned smug, bordering on a smirk, as if he was already expecting your reaction.

And then you heard it. From seemingly out of nowhere came the soft whisper of a trumpet, followed by a powerful voice.

“Where is that coming from?” you looked around but could not find the source of the music.

Dream simply shrugged. That did not matter now, did it? Slowly, he raised a hand towards you, palm up and inviting. Placing your own hand on top of his, he pulled you closer, your chests practically touching, as his other arm enveloped your waist.

“This is what you call a celebration around these parts?” you teased, earning a chuckle from him.

“Only when both parts are into it.” he responded, slowly swaying you both to the rhythm of the song.

As you and Dream danced together, the soft glow of moonlight caressing your skins, you couldn’t help but sigh, a small smile playing on your lips.

“Thank you.” you whispered.

“Whatever for?” he hummed.

“For this. All of this.”

As you slipped further into his embrace, you felt peaceful. Your whole body tingled and for only a moment you wished you didn’t have to go back to the waking world.

“You’re welcome, darling.” he whispered back to you.

But you now knew you could always return here, to this very moment. All you had to do was wish for it, and Dream would bring you back here. Back to him.

#morpheus x reader #dream x reader #sandman x reader #dream of the endless x reader #morpheus x gn!reader #dream x gn!reader #sandman x gn!reader #dream of the endless x gn!reader #the sandman fanfic #morpheus fanfiction #dream fanfic #dream of the endless fanfic

[smolvenger]

Nursing the Prince (Prince Hal x fem! Reader Oneshot)

From: The Hollow Crown (specifically the events of Henry IV Part One)

Word Count: 3641

Summary: You tend to Prince Hal's wounds after the Battle of Shrewsbury.

Warnings: Mentions of death and battles, but no actual violence. I try my best to sum up in modern terms what happens in Shakespeare's Henry IV Part One for those of y'all who watched and got confused. But a bit of angst and lots of fluff. Medical practices that I'm not sure are period accurate but it's my fic and I can do what I want. Reader gets a Badass mom.

A/N: Thanks to @evelyn-kingsley and @holdmytesseract for encouraging me to write this! I wound up loving creating this!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp

You followed your mother’s footsteps as you held a basket full of herbs. Just ducking out into the hallways. You kept a handkerchief and pressed it to your mouth to brave the bad smells. Once you were out, you released it, taking in the cold air of the upper floors of the castle.

“He’ll be fine- wasn’t too much pus from him,” Your mother mused, reflecting on her last patient.

Both of you walked down the stone hall to a bench. Your mother set her basket there and then pulled out a certain herb.

“This-see? This helps with sleeping. It helps when brewed into a drink.  And the king has had trouble sleeping sometimes-we’re going to give this to his physician who’ll give it to him. But you should know it too- in case you need it.”

You grinned at her. You took the herb and twirled it through your fingers before setting it down.

“I will. That’s good to know,” you confirmed.

You always admired your dear mother. She had a curiosity about plants, the human body, and of medicine since her girlhood. Though many discouraged her for years, saying such studies were only for men. That it was inappropriate for a lady who had connections to the throne to have an occupation. She ignored them to pursue her passions. That knowledge helped her heal a sick servant once. Then her own cousin. Then her cousin’s daughter. And so on, so forth- one after another would file after her. Soon, even those in the castle began to request her help. So, her life and free time was devoted to acting as a healer.

When she married your father, he did not force her to squash her talents but praised and supported them. Your intelligent, empathetic, defiant, and passionate mother in some circles may have been rumored to be a witch, but she was a heroine in your eyes.

Naturally, she asked you to assist her, and you agreed. You had to keep your mouth shut seeing skin sewed together. You became used to the sight of blood. Though there were times you would indulge in a look away at something gruesome. But you were catching on every day and learning what she knew.

“Well then, we might be called for an audience with the king himself. So stand tall and mind your manners,” she began.

You heard some doors creak open. Though it was early in the morning, visitors were common in castles. When your head turned, there was a jaunty rhythm of footsteps. A rhythm you knew too well.

Could it be? No…it couldn’t. He hasn’t returned since…

Sure enough, there was a flash of red from the next hallway. A bright red among that cold, grey castle where not even the sun could shine on today.

 Yes- it was! The Prince of Wales! Prince Hal! For that was what suited him- he had his father’s name and inheritance. But not his father’s standards of princely behavior. You pinched the herb as you took in the sight of him in his red jacket and red cap.

Yes, Hal…the young prince. The wayward, badly behaving prince. The prince more familiar with taverns than castles, thieves than lord, and whores than ladies. One would think the prince was no better than a rake.

The times you saw him, interacted with him, talked to him, nervousness made a pebble in your belly. You feared he would think you…boring. The kind that would make him run back to the taverns for adventure. But he looked you in the eyes after you curtsied and first gave him your name. He’d look at you. And listen. And if he didn’t like you, he didn’t act in a way to show it. You spoke at the banquets and parties you were invited to- when he showed up, of course. The odd castle dinner here and there. Part of you dreaded seeing the infamous scoundrel pop out. But he…he was always nice to you. Polite, perhaps as any prince. He listened to you more than he spoke. He asked after you and your parents.

Though you saw the glint of his eye of craving excitement…there was something more inside him. He was more than just a rogue. There was good inside him. Maybe even the potential to be a good king himself when the time came (And Hal being such an astonishingly beautiful young man definitely helped your bias).

You felt your own heart pick up speed. Despite the cold castle, you felt hot and self-conscious when he turned his head and saw you. There was a sad look in his eyes, his jaw tight. But his eyes widened at the look of you. But an Earl- an old man dressed in black fur robes- prodded his shoulder. The earl pointed sternly to the throne room. Hal glanced again at you, confirming he saw you, and then walked off in that direction.

“Mother-the prince! The prince is back!” you hissed.

“Back?” she repeated.

“He’s rarely around here anyone! Is something the matter?” you asked.

“Haven’t you heard?” she replied.

“No, I haven’t.”

She sat down on the bench, and you sat next to her.

“I’ll tell you the short of it, Y/N. The Earl of Northumberland’s son and heir, Hotspur, has just won a successful battle for the king. He took several men of the opposing army as his prisoners. According to law, anyone who takes prisoners in battle must give them to the king- it is their due and the law. But Hotspur refused to give the king the promised prisoners- right in the king’s face! In front of all court! The king was not very happy about that- imagine! -  and insisted he do so.  Then Hotspur got his family to agree with him- and they realized something. They got a claim to the throne.  They’re all a part of Richard’s side of the family, York!”

Richard the Second, the last king, was a king you only heard of. A king like a wisp of light. A king with a beautiful, blonde French queen who floated by him like a goddess on earth. A king who seemed only part of this world, not all mortal. A king with yellow robes and sleeves like a butterfly’s drooping wings. A king who spoke with a high, soft, gentle voice compared to Henry the Fourth’s low gravel. A king from a fairyland or heaven. A king who also taxed heavy. A king who took the money of old men as soon as they were dead. The king who lost favor with everyone. A king abdicated so that the people’s favorite- Henry IV- would replace him. But it seemed Richard hadn’t lost favor with everyone. Especially not those of his own family-of York.

“Y/N, they’re teaming up and going to overthrow the king himself on the throne! So can you blame him for being tense?” she finished.

“That would make me tense!” you agreed.

She shook her head and clicked her tongue.

“Many hail Hotspur as a hero. But believe me, my dear, he’s no better than a petulant child throwing a fit over not getting the toy he wants!” she vented.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. You held up an arm to shut it off. Then you placed the herb back inside the basket.

“So If Henry is going to battle- he needs help…like his son.” you mused

Like thunder, you heard the voice of the king echoing in the halls as he scolded his son. You hardly heard Hal’s response.  Even if you couldn’t make out all the exact words-God’s blood, the king sounded scary when angry! If the king was your father and scolded you like that, you would tremble and burst into tears in the throne room. It made you wonder how Hal would fare!

A servant said the physician was busy. You were escorted to a dining room to wait. Then there was a knock. But it was not the court physician.

‘His majesty, the Prince of Wales,” the servant announced.

In walked Hal, though he lacked the red cap he wore walking in. It freed his hair, so his auburn curls loosened from his head. Chairs creaked as you and your mother stood up and bowed.

“I noticed that both of you ladies were here and wanted to say my hellos,” he greeted.

“Consider us welcomed, your grace,” your mother replied.

“What happened with your father?” you questioned.

“I’m going to battle by his side. He’s giving me a command of my own. And I vowed to go and fight Hotspur- man to man,” he recalled.

“You’re going to go to battle…why should the heir apparent have to go to battle? Is he worried about losing the heir?” you questioned.

His blue eyes hardened, but he kept his voice soft.

“Father’s unhappy with me. Everyone knows that. I will redeem myself and trade Hotspur’s glories with my shame.”

“By dying?” you asked.

“If I die, I redeem myself, Lady Y/N.”

 You then took out your handkerchief, twisting it in your hands nervously.

“I have three other brothers more fit to inherit the throne. Or it will be Hotspurs. Father says he wishes that so himself,” Hal continued bitterly.

You took a step forward to him. To think this could be the last you would ever see him alive. He had to know. Had to know that even alive, he was…liked? Perhaps even…loved? No- no you couldn’t’ allow yourself that. Though your heart and soul knew otherwise. But you could let only a slip of fondness for him out. Just a little at a time. Especially while Hal still lived.

 You handed your handkerchief to him.

“Here-have this with you. Keep it by your side!” you insisted.

He accepted the light, pale cloth in his hand.

“Promise me should you live, you shall return it to me,” you continued.

He broke into a smile and a small chuckle. He played with the handkerchief with his long, beautiful hands.

“My lady- I couldn’t take your precious item,” he refused.

“No! Take it! I mean it!”

He moved the collar of his red leather jacket to his black shirt beneath. You felt the breath hitch in your throat to see a peek of his bare skin. Then you forced your eyes off it. Looking down to the floor like a modest maiden, not one who saw a glance of skin and could imagine more from it.

“Did you know the last time I had a favor from a woman it was from a prostitute?” Hal asked.

You perked up. Your mother raised an eyebrow.

“No, we didn’t!” she cried.

Hal let out a laugh, nodding his head.

“I did! I was at a joust for my father! And got a glove from the most experienced prostitute in London-and wore it!” he recalled.

“Do you compare me a whore, my lord?” you asked.

“No! But…I shall say I had yet to receive an act of kindness from anyone from any person here at court…”

He let out a deep exhale through his nose.

“Lady Y/N, thank you. It will be worn with pride,” he promised.

You gave him a small smile. If this was the last time he saw you- that’s the picture he should have.

“My Lord-please be careful. And train. Train so you can fight,” you advised.

“I always do, my lady,” he said, giving you a wink before he said goodbye to your mother and walked out.

Your mother was smiling ear to ear. She went up, grabbed your arm, and hissed in your ear.

“I’m old, but not blind my dear!”

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Ladies don’t give favors to men they dislike. And you look at the prince like he was a honey-cake! I don’t blame you, though-he is definitely something to look at!” she said.

“Mother! Such talk! What if he overhears?” you whispered.

“And risk getting The Prince of Wales as a son in law? I don’t see any reason why not!” she responded.

You playfully swatted her arm. Then you both melted into giggles before it was time to continue with duties.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The day of the battle arrived. The day when the Northumberland rebels would face the Lancaster army. The day Hal would go to war and fight Hotspur.

It was a cold, grey day. Anytime you stepped outside the gust of wind whipped at your face. That morning there was a snowfall that stuck to the ground, and then was mixed with the mud.

How perfect, you thought in a dry tone.

 You would do your best to distract yourself. After all, it wasn’t like…you were married to Hal or anything. You paced about, unsure what to do, what to think. Perhaps you could go to your mother and confess your worries and cry. But you kept them hidden. Perhaps it was foolish to love a prince. Princes marry the daughters of kings, not the daughters of healers.

The day faded to the early evening. You sat in your chair near your mother. There was weaving and sewing to be done. With the crackling fireplace and howling wind, it was quite peaceful.

A servant ran up, bowing his head low and back up.

“A messenger, My lady! From Shrewsbury!” he announced to your mother.

Shrewsbury- where the battle was. There was going to be news at last. You dropped your sewing onto your lap and gripped the arms of your chair. A messenger- with blood and dirt smeared on him, came forward.

“Well, what do you have to say?” Mother urged him.

“The Battle is decided- The King won the battle over Northumberland. His caught enemies shall be executed. The rebels are captured.”

The words spewed out of you in desperation.

“And what of the prince?”

“The prince Hal lives- led his command to victory today.” The messenger reported.

You jumped at the words, dropping the sewing, and then picking it up. But counting every blessing. Becoming dizzy with relief.

“And Hotspur himself?” asked your mother.

“Slain by an old, fat knight called Sir John Falstaff. All are surprised but Falstaff shall be honored as a hero,” the messenger answered.

You sat back on the chair, smiling. Feeling the urge to well up a tear of happiness. Hal lived! He lived!

As the sun dipped further, you expected no further visitors. Yet as you were visiting the kitchens, you heard a knock on the door. You were alone- no servants around to answer.

“Must be the new one. He gets himself locked out,” you mused.

You opened the door and let out a shriek at the sight.

Hal stood there in his armor. His face was bloodied and dirty. His hair wet to where his curls hung limp on his face. He was panting deeply. His black horse stood in the distance.

“Your grace! My lord! What are you doing here?!” you cried.

“My lady! Let me in-please!” he begged in a pant.

You opened the door further. You realized he was limping; you pulled a chair close for him to sit.

“I need the help of your mother-I’ve been hurt! And there’s no better healer than your mother,” he explained.

After giving him a cup of cider, you raced back up.

“Mother! Mother! Quick! The prince is here! Prince Hal! He’s hurt! He’s in the kitchen and he needs your help!” you cried.

Your mother dropped her jaw. Then, picking up her skirts, she ran down. You followed her.

“Your grace- tell us! What hurts?” she asked.

“My…my leg…” Hal said.

She inspected it, then looked at you.

“We need cloths-hot water. Get some bark of the willow- should help with his pain!” she ordered.

You ran out, scrambling to get the items. He took off his heavy armor that fell with a crash to the floor. You returned with the supplies. He nibbled on the bark, grimacing at the bitter taste. She cleaned the leg with wine, washed it, and wrapped a bandage about his leg.

“You must rest, your grace. It isn’t bad- should heal with time. What else hurts?” she asked.

“My…my chest…and my shoulder…” he said.

You both helped off his armor with more loud crashing onto the floor. Your mother then removed his shirt to inspect the wounds. He was a lean man- a stomach with some softness in it and such a broad chest and biceps. You felt a twinge of lust, light as a sprinkle of salt over a meal, enter you looking at him. Trying to keep your behavior appropriate (he was not just a man- but fie, the future king!), you forced your eyes onto the cut on his clavicle.

“Hmmm…some damage there. But not deep. And nothing vital. Shouldn’t be bad,” your mother diagnosed.

She handed you the bowl filled with wine.

“Y/N…I think you should practice. Could be good use. First tend the wounds with strong wine to clean it…” she instructed.

She handed over a bowl of water and bandages.

“And then…some of this to clean it out. Then wrap it in a bandage.”

“But Mother…I don’t know if I…”

“You’ve seen it hundreds of times, Y/N! Here- I will go and check my herb closet for whatever else could help. I will be back later!” she interrupted. She let out a smirk at you.

You leaned closer and whispered to her before she left for the door.

“But-unaccompanied!”

She shrugged, her smile becoming devilish with the show of teeth.

“The prince is not the kind to take advantage of young ladies alone. And it won’t be long! Go and nurse him, Y/N.”

She kept her smile at you as she left through the door. You first took one wash cloth and wiped the dirt from his face. He accepted it as easily as a child. His bright, blue eyes looked up at you, saying nothing.

“There…better to see you now,” you said.

With a deep sigh, you forced your eyes on the cut on his left pec and down the left shoulder. Focusing on the task and not the stirring inside you from being by a half-naked Hal. Or at least, trying.

 You dipped the cloth into the wine and touched the pec wound. Hal winced a little.

“Not even royalty is immune to pain…” you commented.

“No, we are not…” he agreed.

You continued to wipe at it. Making sure the wine got rid of any infection.

“I’m glad you’re alive my lord.”

“I am too though…is it bad that I crave honor?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“You want to please your father. That I can imagine- I wish to please my mother, too. I want to live up to her as well.”

He shifted to keep his eye on you.

“But you do, my lady…you do!”

You set down the dirty cloth into the bowl of wine.

“And…I haven’t forgotten. My lady-look into the breastplate,” he guided.

“How come?” you asked, getting a cloth from the bowl of water. You rolled up your sleeves to squeeze the excess out.

“Your favor! I lived and I shall keep my word- it is yours again!”

You pressed the cloth to his wound.

“Hold it on there,” you advised.

He did as you retrieved the handkerchief. He was right- it was right there in his breastplate. A square of pure white among the silver. You picked it up, smelling his sweat on it- smelling him. Not that you minded the scent of masculine sweat and blood- blood that still coursed through him.

“My lord! I…thank you! I’m…I’m glad you are alive.”

“How come? Why should my death concern you, my lady?” he asked.

You turned around, both hands on your handkerchief again.

“Because…it would have been sad and…”

After some hesitancy, you added four words.

“I would mourn you.”

You then took the cloth back to the water. Blood stained the leftover water in the bowl. You then got a dry bandage. But Hal softened his gaze on you.

“All of my great shames…and I am worth your tears, Lady Y/N?”

When you wrapped it around and tied it up, you turned back to him. Seeing the shiny drop of a small tear in the corners of the prince’s eyes.

“Yes, my lord, I would…”

He then lifted his hand and placed it over yours, stopping it from moving away. You paused, not daring to take another step away. You didn’t want to- not from the feel of his touch.

“When we’re alone…could you call me Hal?” he asked.

“Yes, Hal, I can,” you replied.

He smiled.

“Oh, to live now and hear you say it!”

He cupped your face and then kissed you. You dropped leftover bandages in your hand from surprise. You felt his breath and tasted smoke and sweat. He wrapped a hand around you to keep you there. You leaned into it, feeling everything explode inside you, grabbing his face too to keep it close. Your inhibitions running wild, and all sense of decorum thrown out the window. All for the love of a prince.

He let go. You picked up the cloth again, smiling at him. His face was flushing and smiling back.

“Hal…that was…that was…” you mumbled.

“I’m sorry I frightened you, my lady. I should have asked, I-“

“No- that was beautiful!” you said.

He leaned closer to you.

“Then I should do it more.”

He then let go as your mother returned through the door. With her herb basket placed at her hip. She walked forward. With false chastity, you took a few steps away and he jerked his head to her.

“I trust His Grace is better,” she said.

He looked at you.

“Much.”

#the hollow crown #prince hal #henry v #prince hal x you #prince hal x reader #prince hal x fem! reader #prince hal x y/n #prince hal x fem! y/n #henry v x y/n #henry v x fem! y/n #henry v x you #medieval au #historical au #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston characters #carrie writes #fluff #historic fiction #history #tom hiddleston characters fluff #smut #the holllow crown smut #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston fanfiction #hiddlesverse #hiddles characters #tooth rotting fluff #tending to wounds trope #henry iv part one

[magic-is-something-we-create]

2023 recap + 2024 plans

i wrote 261,200 words in 2023; 172,500 of those for Whispers, 88,700 for Goddess-Touched!

i read 16 books to completion, beta'd for an additional 2, am currently reading 3, and got partway through 5 others before having to put them down.

i maintained my streaming schedule with only a handful of emergency-related exceptions, and drew, uh, a shit ton over the course of the year!

writing goals for 2024:

fix Echoseers (full stylistic rewrite, along with some plot tweaks)

finish the first draft of Goddess-Touched (and edit it hardcore as well)

work on as-yet-unnamed book 4 of tms

fix up Whispers with the added feedback of beta readers

start querying Whispers (i'll look into self publishing down the road if i don't end up finding an agent. the way my brain functions i must cling to the hope of not having to market it myself tooth and nail for the time being)

POTENTIALLY. if my brain fixates on it. write the script for The Lost so that i actually have something to work with to make the comic happen

one of my offline friends is starting to get into writing, and im hoping to help them through some of the early rough patches and potentially co-write a thing with them!!

i completely dropped the ball on the weekly writing updates so im gonna try and get back to that on wednesday. and potentially get back into the weekly ask games!

non-writing goals for 2024:

youtube. i want to make speedpaints and worldbuilding videos and shit. ive already made the basic animation stuff to have a lil sona to do the gesturing for me and i know how to make videos i just havent done it in a While

twitch!! i want to stream a bit more often because its fun and if i let myself branch out into video games as well as art itll be easier to do that. u might see me streaming in the evenings sometime soon. (psst im not streaming this weekend as im still doing a shit ton of holiday/social stuff but the weekend of the 13th ill be back to both patreon and twitch baybee)

SPEAKING OF i want to get my shit together enough to do like. monthly short story releases for my patrons/ko-fi members. early access, that is, so if i post one in january, it'll be posted here a month or two later for all to see/read

i want to read as many books as i did in 2023, if not more! im also considering adding book reviews/thoughts to youtube or patreon/ko-fi perks

my weekend hiatuses aren't going anywhere. having time where im not actively engaging with tumblr + don't feel obligated to do Anything online has done wonders for my mental health and i highly recommend it. focus mode on my phone and leechblock on desktop has helped so so so much

and that's all i'm sharing here!! i hope 2024 is a better year for all than the last <3

#braindumps.txt #writing update #aboutthewarlord #2024 goals

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

20 Fic Writer Quesions

First, thank you @singeart and @mytardisisparked for tagging me!. I did a set of these last year and it was fun to see how my answers have changed since then!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

61

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1.6 million and counting!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek Voyager

Star Trek Prodigy

Sailor Moon

Harry Potter

Madam Secretary

Ive debated writing SwanQueen for a long time but by the time I had the energy and time to write, I'd lost interest in the show. I might rewatch and come back to it one day...

I have thought about writing Wynonna Earp or Tamora Pierce universe fanfiction but have yet to get an idea that grabs me. I like to find things i want to fix and it's hard when the source material is perfection.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Parent Trap (305)

Sailor Moon H Order of the Phoenix (289)

Sailor Moon H Half Blood Prince (222)

Eden's Deception (167)

Out of Reach (150)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! although if I'm busy or feeling down it can take me a while. Sometimes I forget.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still think What Even is 3 Minutes takes the cake. Or I'll be Your First if You'll be my Last

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Heard the Comm on Christmas Morn and Parent Trap

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately I've gotten hate on fics since I started writing them... and it's become just something I expect to happen. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it confuses me. Sometimes it makes me sad. It really depends...

The memorable haters:

There was the delightful Fanfiction.net reviewer who got pissed i was "making everybody gay" (that was funny actually). I forget if they were the same person who flamed me when Mcgonagall and Hooch kissed under some mistletoe. I digress. They thought queering up the canon was like sinful or whatever. I was delighted to disagree and make the story even queerer.

Another person cussed me out for magically restraining Sailor Plutos time travel powers so my plot would work and for making her have feelings about it. aparently mad the senshi were not all powerful deus exmachinas who never feel feelings... That one stung. That was the reason I left FFN.

Hate because in Sailor Moon H, Harry Potter was not the main character.

Hate that I made a magic bio baby for the magical lesbians. (I can't have a biobaby with my wife irl, can't I at least let the fantasy girlies have one!)

Hate for including C/7 in a story

...I wouldn't call it hate for the fic but I have had an uncomfortable amount of commenters who hate on Chakotay any time I have him involved with Seven / don't have him grovel to Kathryn / really any time I let him advocate for how he's been hurt... at first comments like this stressed me out because i worried i had not written the character sufficiently sympathetic. But then Parent Trap breached containment and I got enough comments to be able to see I had definitely written the character fine... it was just that some people were always just rooting for a "Chakotay falls over himself to apologize to Janeway for not immediately dating her" storyline that... I'm not sorry 😅 I'm never going to write that. The older I get the more I feel like both of J/C just need therapy! They've been through so much trauma. Their feelings are valid (yes, even for other people).

Parent Trap breaching containment also meant that when I hit an irl rut and couldnt get in the writing headspace for a bit, a bunch of - sincerely, well meaning - fans got into their heads to start a commenting campaign to get me to update. I heard about it and panicked (i had bad experiences that year of getting people who only commented "update soon" and those conversely stressed me out and made me not want to write - I love fic writing for the conversations and community... so it made me feel like readers thought i was just a content vending machine). so just the thought of potentially getting an avalanche of guests, well meaning or not, begging me to update made me lock commenting until the fic was done. I wound up deciding after that that since "update soon" requests were becoming a lot more frequent that I'd consider before posting whether getting them would hurt my ability to finish. So most of the time now if I know a fic is going to reach a bigger potential community, I don't start posting it until it's almost done. That has had some upsides! (Im less dependent on positive feedback for motivation now!) and some downsides (no one comments on my fics with their theories anymore) but on a whole, a good decision.

Immediately after finishing Parent Trap I wrote Fever and got this amazing guest comment from someone who said (paraphrasing cuz i'm too busy to go find it) "Youre better than this. how dare you write this filth. J/C are better than this" that one had me laughing for days. But the comment did prompt me to create a second account later when I wrote a tentacle fic. At the time I worried i'd get a ton of similar flame comments from people who were subscribed to my main for other types of fic... but I am even feeling like that's unnecessary now. I write what I write! Yes, some of it is really dirty, weird smut. I'm not sorry.

Currently any time I post a Threshold AU fic an anon drops into my comments section in order to call me "Sick" and "Deranged"... they make me so sad I don't even make a quippy reply. I just delete them. I write that universe for my own wish fulfillment... Someday (soon, hopefully) I'm gonna have kids. And I am going to have to have conversations with them about who their biological dad is. Why they look like one mom and not the other, whether their non bio family love them even if theyre not blood related. I might have a kid who feels different from everyone else because they're queer or they're neurodivergent or they're some new alienating feeling I am totally unprepared for. and I'll need to help them navigate that.. Writing about hybrid salamander kids getting raised in a blended family is FUN. But more importantly... it helps me practice those situations. It comforts me to know that if the characters can figure this out in the AU then I can figure this out in real life! What the hell is sick and deranged about that!?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write all sorts of smut. I post the stuff that doesn't totally mortify me once i've gotten out of whatever mood had me writing the smut in the first place.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have exactly two crossovers to my name: Sailor Delta and Sailor Moon H. I think on the basis of word count alone Sailor Moon H (>500,000) is definitely the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I consider the unlicensed use of the AO3 archive for ChatGPT and similar LLMs theft. (and there are several court cases pending that are also seeking to address whether it is legally theft as it pertains to published fiction and newspapers). The canon creators of the fandoms I write for aren't allowed to make money by using uncredited ideas pulled from my fanfiction (just like I am not allowed to make money from writing fic with their copyrighted settings and characters) and i continue to be apalled that ChatGPT and other LLMs think they can get away with using others copyrighted ideas without permission. Especially that they can take advantage of people who cant profit off their own work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No but i would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Once with @magdalenejaneway, once with @jellybeansarecool and once with @trekflower and all three were fantastic!

Most of what I write for Threshold AU is also increasingly collaborated on a great deal by the AU creators and a few other folks. It's been going for over 2 years now and doing that more and more has enabled us all to drop more references to previous fics and to create a more cohesive body of fic for the AU. in general its just been so fun and fulfilling to make these stories with other people who are as invested in the characters as me and it just fills me with joy. I'm really grateful for you guys.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

On the one hand J/C have inspired over 50 fics, But on the other I have also been loving Sailor Moon and those ships since before I knew what fandom or shipping were. And really the only reason J/C inspire more fic is that all the sailor moon characters got a happy ending.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to give up on a WIP...

but I am in knots about what all to do with Out of Reach.

Out of Reach is a St:Prodigy S1 AU where Chakotay has amnesia and doesn't remember anything from his time on Voyager, all the while he and Kathryn are in a situationship with a baby.

There's two questions I never figured out how to answer: 1. Does he get his memories back. If so, how much and what enables it. and 2: Do he and Kathryn stay together?

On the memories front. saying he never recovers seems unfair to the character. But saying he magically does thanks to 24th century science feels cheap and disrespectful - to the reality of real memory loss and to the plot that built up so much tension around this. Saying he gets back some or more over time is more realistic, but left me uncertain of where exactly to end the story. Tying his retrieval of memories to Kathryn also tied me up in knots. On the one hand they're in love and thats romantic. on the other hand the optics of his recovery totally dependent on one person is icky.

I also found the baby really annoying to have there by the end - I still think he's cuteeee i really do!!! - it's just... he makes the "we should stay together and try to figure this out" answer a bit too convenient 😅. and he complicates Kathryns reluctance to restart their relationship. The more she resists, the more callous she seems (deliberately not trying to patch things up with her kid's father) when i really just want to focus on her fears that Chakotay would be happier without her and that even if they restart their romance, she might lose him again on a future mission. It's ironic because i originally created the baby to ensure she wouldnt just run away from her fears. And now hes contributing to my difficulty ending the fic...

Actually the more I think on it, my real problem is I could write my way out of this, but I cant do it in only one or two chapters and that makes me feel tired. i was sorta hoping to wrap that fic up. 😅🙈

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagery has always been a strength for me. But i think I'm also getting really good at action scenes too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oneshots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it was information i wanted the reader to understand but not the POV character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H way back when I was 15.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Universe to Mend - I even have a few sequel or companion novel ideas to come after it.

This has gone on a while... 😅 - thank you for tagging me and letting me ramble! i'll tag anyone else who wants to answer! have at it.

#writing asks #elephantwrites

[st6rly]

a guide on how to fall for your enemy.

synopsis: going for the throne, for the pulse that beats under your skin (or in other words, the world of academic rivals) | wc — 2.4k

[ !! ] — masterlist.

characters: ayato x gn!reader

categories: fluff + a bit of angst, modern au, tbh idk what the fuck this format is but imma say it's a one shot atp

warnings: insulting each other (bc banter is fun), my version of ayato/ooc ayato (there's no way someone is that composed all the time even when feeding someone disgusting food so ive taken matters into my own hands)

notes: "you started this thing with me, you’re ending it with me” - my piece for @bluexiao's sweet 'n spice collab with @anantaru. this fic was not the idea i originally had in mind but after letting my brain run on autopilot to write this while being head empty, it turned out to be ok

also just wrote this to spite my original style of writing bc poetic writing hates me right now and it needs to lodge itself in my brain soon before i file a divorce lol.

didn't show up in the tags the first time so we're trying this again | reblogs >>> likes

Maybe thinking twice about having a rivalry with Ayato is something that should be considered more often. Especially when it comes down to academics. 

Teachers love him, and he takes great smug pride in that fact, his ego fed with every bit of small praise. So when one of them hands back his test without a word and you get the comments instead, his curiosity grows. Is it mean of him to say that you were invisible to him and probably would’ve stayed like that if this had never happened? Maybe so. But perhaps it was a fluke. While he didn’t do his best on this test, a 92% is nothing to bat an eye at so he should have nothing to worry about, right?

Wrong. Is he losing his touch with what he considered the perfect method to the top? Your great surge in grades had rumours spiral around the hallway, things like you taking his place as top of the grade, maybe even surpassing him and weaving yourself into the chair of student council president. 

With a thin-lipped smile, he makes his way over to you, giving his congrats with a pat on the back that seems firmer than necessary. If anything, he could look past all of this since truth be told, it is becoming a distraction. But the mirth in your eyes and the smug, yet tense, grin on your face tells him this is no mistake, this is a proclamation of war against him. 

His papers are perfectly crafted with the utmost professionalism but still holding onto that scholar charm. Projects are well thought out and thoroughly researched and yet you still seem to gain an upper hand with your “finished-one-sitting-the-night-before” papers and projects that the teachers love. Ayato will read every fine detail, eyes glued to each word as he tries to find your secret. 

“Sleep deprivation and constant loads of caffeine can seem to bring out the best parts of a human sometimes.” you state with a smirk. 

From there it should be known that things increased. Students, and even a few teachers, began to catch on to the situation through harsh glares in the hallway or across the class and the smug glances when test scores or big projects are handed back. Ayaka and Thoma can only sigh as he groans to them about how you’ve become insufferable to work with, even if you aren’t actually working together. Not yet at least. 

The teachers who haven’t got a single clue what’s going on between the two of you are curious at what sparked the heavy rise of grades. Even in the subjects you and Ayato aren’t the best at, you’ve still somehow managed to raise your average by a noticeable amount. Perhaps Ayato has them to thank for the turn of events, but at the moment it sure didn’t feel like it.

Already most of the school year gone and a rivalry like this lasting for almost that same amount of time, it’s not wonder you both were buzzing your seats at the notice of another big project, the last one you’d be doing for this class in the year. While you both scowl at the idea of having to work in pairs for this, those deep set lines become even more imprinted onto both your faces when you find out you’re working together as assigned partners. Ayaka only sighs at her brother’s apparent woes, sternly telling him how this is his chance to apologise for starting this whole mess in the first place. 

It’s amazing how you two both manage to somehow stay angry when typing in each other’s phone numbers, not trusting the other with their phone. 

“If you think I’m going to let you personally type your phone number into my device, you’d be widely mistaken and I think the caffeine is starting to screw with your brain,” he says, voice level and cold. 

“Likewise. But you don’t need to tell me your number. For a guy who considers himself so smart, you really didn’t think to check the grade group chat first did you?” you scoff, “It would not only save us both some time, but also my eyes from that thing you call a face.” 

Yet you manage to set up a meeting place and time through gritted teeth, each of you storming away as composed as possible, not daring to look back in case you were to lock eyes. 

Silence is all that can be heard at first, with the faint ticking of the library clock filling the space. Ayato buries himself in the textbook, quickly picking out the details needed for the topic at hand and swiftly writing them down. For what felt like the longest while, neither of you said a word; too busy trying to avoid the other and get the project done. He groans quietly, stretching out his back and sighing as the joints pop. Sparing a glance towards your direction, he takes into account the way your brows furrow slightly in concentration and how you bite at your lower lip. Maybe it’s his brain running on overdrive after looking at the same couple of chapters for the past hours or maybe it’s just him finally noticing things he’d never taken the time to before. He shakes his head, throwing himself back into the deep end of things and letting himself be drowned by text and small graphs, thoughts to be left for another time. 

Earning a grade that would make the teachers either cry in pride or in fear, Ayato finds himself back to square one when it comes to his emotionally inept self. Although he himself thought he buried these ideas and theories deep enough to where they wouldn’t resurface, Ayato finds himself smiling sincerely more often towards your direction. 

Well, as sincerely as he can be when still bitter about you being just below his title as top student. 

The way the malice that his lingering glance holds when you walk by fizzles out when your back is faced towards him doesn’t go unnoticed by the two closest to him, teasing remarks thrown his way when confronted and he can only sigh in return. Distance is what he needs. A change of pace instead of constantly searching for your eyes and grin in the class when results are handed back. Yet in doing so, he couldn’t help but feel a tug that made him want to look back again just this once; not because of grades or anything school related, but to just see you. 

The changes, while subtle to the outside, are noticeable to you. Insults grow to be more sly and on the flirtatious side with the coming weeks though still ecliting the same reaction from you. The lines between whether the heat you feel on the back of your neck is from anger or being flustered by his cheesy lines. Yet he’s been drifting; as if this were all just some elaborate scheme of his to prove himself worthy of whatever it is that he wants. With a faint bruise on your forehead following the effects of slamming your head against a wall repeatedly, you ready yourself to face him. In the most appropriate way possible, of course. 

“Kamisato.” at the sound of his name, Ayato raises an eyebrow at your sudden appearance. 

“(L/n).” walking up to stand in front of him, you stare for a second or two, making him sweat internally at your gaze. Ayato gives a shocked yelp as you pull him up by the ear, dragging him away to a more private place. 

“So, mind explaining to me what that was all about or are we just goin-” gripping his collar and pulling him closer, you stare into his eyes with such determination that he can’t help but melt slightly. 

“I wanted to do this rationally but when it comes to us, nothing is ever done with a clear conscience in mind.” you said.

“What-”

“Do you truly hate me?” He blinks at that comment. 

Does he hate you? He definitely felt some sort of bitterness to you at first; the way you smugly spoke about your latest grade and how you held yourself infuriated him but hate? Surely not. If anything, admiration was greatly masked behind all that saltiness he carried with him at the fact that you were able to seem so carefree and rise the ranks of the grade ladder without so much thought. Maybe it was borderline, and did overlap, into envy at some point but even then, going as far as to wish ill-will on you was something he wasn’t inclined to do. You brought out a side of him he never knew he had until this whole competition started and he could never specifically hate you for it. 

Perhaps all that time spent reflecting did do good for him, it made him understand what he was actually feeling and why he acted so irrationally. Perhaps that is why the answer came so naturally.

“Yes. I do hate you.” A flare of understanding and anger lit your eyes as you released him from your grip, head slightly downcast. 

“As I thought,” you sigh, rubbing the back of your neck. Bidding him a farewell and a sorry, you turn to leave before he lightly takes hold of your wrist. 

“Please, let me finish.” 

“What else is there to say? I got the answer I was looking for.” you look towards him, Ayato’s pleading eyes meeting your gaze as you reluctantly nod.

“I hate you, (L/n). In fact, you could say I practically despise you.” He holds your wrist a little tighter, feeling you start to pull away. “But not because of some fighting over grades and the constant banter. I hate you because of the way you make me feel. I-” He drops his arm, letting go of you. The words die out on his tongue, not making a peep as he opens his mouth to try and continue. Running a hand through his hair, Ayato’s face twists into one of frustration. 

“Fuck I can’t do this.” he sighs out, “Who was I kidding.” 

It’s only awkward silence from there as you both stand aimlessly in the small area you had found. Ayato can’t help but groan at his own misery, the sound catching your ears which makes your jaw tense up further and fist curl. What could he possibly be whining about? He said all that there needed to be said about what was going on between the two of you; it was just some sort of silly entertainment to him. 

Taking in his stance, you rub the area between your eyes, not knowing why you even care so much about this. It was bound to happen eventually anyways, drifting apart to figure out new things, so even if you knew it was coming, why did it hurt so much?

“I've had enough of this.” you mutter. You close the distance between the two of you by marching up to face him, glaring with a sharp stare and pinning him against the wall.

“Now listen here, sweetheart,” you grit out, tone dripping with honeyed sarcasm, “You’ve got guts, I’ll tell you that. Starting this whole thing with me all because of a test score. But truth be told, the banter, the teasing, it was starting to grow on me. But for the past weeks, I’ve been dealing with your avoidance and I don’t think you understand how much it actually hurts. My fault for thinking we were actually becoming friends I guess!” You jab a finger against his chest. “You started this whole thing with me, Kamisato. You’ve had your fun stringing me along with your teases. So now, you better end it with me while you can still look me in the eyes.”

One fracture led to another, a crack in the dam he had built so carefully over the past weeks to keep the barrage of feelings at bay. Yet of course it all had to spill over now, 

“Me? Hurting you?” Ayato retorts, his composure finally crumbling, “This is why I can’t be friends with you! You’re so oblivious to advances that my heart couldn’t take it anymore!” 

“So you avoided me instead of confronting me?” 

“What else could I have done? Confessed and spilled my heart out to you while we were still at each other’s throats?” he grunted, “Oh what a wonderful idea that is.” 

“And you say you’re intelligent.” you muttered, “I gave up on caring about our dispute over school work a while back. I went along with your moves because I thought that maybe, we’d get over it and actually do something. I thought you would’ve noticed when I dropped from my position.” You lean in closer to him, tugging him to you by his mangled necktie. 

“Ayato. You started this whole predicament. Now get us out of it.” Your breath fanned across his nose and before he knew it, he was caught up in it. 

Hesitant and longing would be the best way to describe the way his lips crashed onto yours. Your shirt all balled up in the grip of his hands as his chest buzzed and cheeks burned at the feeling, yet none of it registered as Ayato felt like the butterflies in his stomach would fly him away. The way your hand laced itself in his hair and the one on his waist had him sinking further into the sensation before you both broke apart. 

Pants escaped both of your lips as you gathered your senses back. A dazed expression was soon shook from your face as you tried to smooth out your shirt and collar as best you can though Ayato just rested his head on your shoulder, stopping you from fixing it any further. 

“We’ll have to talk about this more later, Kamisato,” you whisper, “Classes are about to begin soon and-” A gentle press of lips against your cheek halted your words as a sheepish and guilty smile crossed Ayato’s face. 

“We can afford to miss one class,” he says, “Besides, we’re star students, aren’t we?” 

The look on your faces says it all as you shake your head with a sigh. 

“Fine, fine. Though one thing before we go,” He raises his head off your shoulder and leans in closer to your ear. “Call me Ayato now, would you? You did say you wanted to be closer, didn’t you?” He traces a finger along your back. “So here’s your chance, sweetheart.”

#! notepad.txt #bloru.sweetnspice #genshin x reader #ayato x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #ayato x gender neutral reader #ayato x gn!reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x you #ayato x you #genshin x you #ayato fluff #genshin impact fluff

[gayleafpool]

Talk about Varian

IM ALWAYS READY TO TALK ABOUT THAT LOSER!! get ready

-> one thing i’ve been thinking SO hard about lately is the potential of a lady caine and varian friendship. imagine it. she lost her dad and varian thought he lost his which drove them to seek revenge against and grow to hate the royal family. they both get thrown in prison. and basically forgotten about. A FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THEM WOULD BE SO FUNNY he would probably think she was soooo cool. wait imagine if they had cells near each other in prison. imagine if she saw the things he went through w andrew in prison and thought hm wow that was insane and fucked up. what if they meet again later on like post s3 and become sorta pals and feel like they can vent their lingering resentment toward royalty w each other and just like. idk talk about all the shit they went through. WHAT THEN HUH

-> related i get so emo about varian repressing his trauma and like, outwardly it seems like he got over everything that happened to him with the blizzard/amber/prison/etc etc but really it was more relief that rapunzel forgave him and was able to free quirin so it felt like everything should be FINE and it would easy to just leave everything in the past so he tries and he thinks he’s getter better and doing well but he’s really getting so much worse and refuses to address or process any of the shit he went through until it all majorly comes crashing down a while later. there are these little signs in the way he behaves like he acts weirdly reckless sometimes and will put himself in bad situations, just starts to exhibit signs of what happened to him. iykyk u know we know. and it’s so hard for him to rationalize this and accept this bc his feelings are so complicated bc he would tell himself that he deserved to be treated that way or even liked it because he was so lonely and desperate for positive attention so there’s this shame and guilt aspect that makes it 10x harder to talk about and AUGHHHHHHH. i could write an essay. this is so important to me. everyone be nice to me about this

-> okay lighter topic. something i always forget about varian is that he’s a good artist like canonically i think that’s so fun. THEREFORE: varian and rapunzel drawing/painting together. ENOUGH SAID!!!!! i love them

wait now i’m thinking more varian and rapunzel thoughts. rapunzel teaching him how to dance. rapunzel being one of the few people who’s happy to sit and listen to him ramble about chemistry n shit cuz she loves learning new things so she’s genuinely interested. they are so <3 IVE ALSO SAID BEFORE that i think varian looooves learning new languages and he’s really good at it and i think rapunzel would be too!! they just end up having lots of common interests

also i refuse to believe varian ever gets taller than her i just cant see it

-> mmfmfmfmfmf varian and ulla thoughts. the fact that they look so similar makes me crazy. i also like to imagine that his hyperactive inquisitive balls to the walls insane personality comes mostly from her too. cute but batshit 🫶🫶 also the anger issues. u know that image that’s like i inherited my mother’s anger yeah thats varian. also the idea that quirin is so protective of varian bc he feels like he couldn’t protect ulla esp when you factor in that varian is basically just a copy of her. WAUGH!!!!! i’m emo.

something something donella seeing hugo start to catch feelings for varian and being like oh so this little shit is EXACTLY like his mother. bc it reminds her of how she loved ulla but could never have her. and it makes her hate varian sooo bad. girl rein in the projection

this has been explosion hour with gayleafpool come again soon

#asks #KISSES U #ummm #mentions of abuse #abuse #<- to be safe #varian

[nilboxes]

Can i just...drop in and say THANK YOU for writing ratio the way you do in your fics...i mean, thank you for sharing your writing GENERALLY because i think it's got such a beautiful, dark, alluring vibe to it all and you really do aven and ratio soooo much justice (which is, sadly, something quite rare to see in what i've experienced of this fandom so far). but ratio especially because ive seen so many bad takes on him recently and coming across your works has been literally therapeutic. i mean, on some level i don't blame people for not grasping his personality, but some of the takes are just so atrociously off the mark and idiotic that...augh, seeing them fills me with dread fr fr. sorry to not be in the presence of mind to point out the details of what i like abt your portrayal of him - this is just me expressing my thanks for your cooking, from one ratio appreciator to another.

Hello Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words 😭 and you're welcome! It's really nice to hear that my love for Dr Ratio is shining through, because I really really really really do love him to bits and pieces (I call him my princess haha), he's so driven and so kind and yet he seems like a lonesome figure despite his big heart because he stands sooo apart from everyone, being a class of his own and yet AJHDJAKSHD urghh (and Aventurine is the same, they are both such loner, alienated types and they have found each other and it makes my heart soar so hard)

I know what you mean about their characterization and the bad takes I really cannot 😭 like people can do what they want really but it makes me sad that very complex characters seem harder to grasp and so it's easier to just put into vastly cut and dried stereotypes for a ship and seem to have waaay more traction, but these fics are somewhat personally self-indulgent in that they are my canon companion/adjacent pieces for myself to fully enjoy the game and these wonderfully complex characters some more 🤣. I'm so glad and lucky there are at least a few people who have been very vocal about their enjoyment of them, which makes them all worth it in the end! It's still nice to hear and still really gives me such a boost that I'm writing with takes that resonate with others too.

and the only thing I can really do is write fics (I still got a lot more Aventio me I think!) and possibly essays about them (I am formulating a Ratio essay with regards to his feelings regarding being overlooked by Nous in relation to the philosophies of Sartre, Heidegger regarding existential Abandonment by "god" and of course Nietzche which seems like a HYV fave as much as mine) in order to just slowly combat it. They really are super challenging to grasp like sometimes I feel like I have to explore only one side of their characters for a piece because I've got so much thoughts about them I would like to express in action and ahhh

Anyway I have rambled a lot, but thank you so much Anon, writing about Ratio grief for Etiam part 2 is taking a lot out of me and this was quite a great perk-me-up! I just hope to deliver good food soon in thanks ♥♥♥

#asks #thank you anon #<3

[meatriarchived]

not to be a complete sap at six thirty in the fuckin morning but like.

Its been a trip and a half this past what month and a half maybe since i came back to this account? After leaving it over nearly two years ago and expecting not to, especially after everything that happened last year

(can skip over stricken part ♡) ------(finishing degree, brothers dog passing from cancer, moms cancer diagnosis, helping dad be her caretaker and watching her wither over the two months of treatment, family being insufferable and unreliable and still demanding shit from her during that time, the stress of preparing for my graduation and losing her right after, my youngest cat passing)

and the last thing on my mind being trying to write. In spite of mom telling me to get back into it, it was just one of those things where i couldnt really find the push to do so. Grief for my sister twenty years ago gave me the drive to write because she used to write poetry, and grief for mom and my cat-baby had seemingly killed it this time last year.

I really wasnt expecting to come back to tumby to write when i came back here, and i expected that itd be a week before i disappeared into the ether again, but ive genuinely had so much fun this last month and a half writing and chatting over disc - which was also VERY MUCH unexpected because i really never was comfortable with using it or joining servers but im seriously so happy i finally did - with those who have gone on silly lil tangents with me over these silly lil guys on my roster. Who've made all these different lil dynamics with me, for all the boards and the affiliates and all of that.

Ive really had such a good time the last few weeks, its given me a much needed push in terms of getting out of bed yknow? Not letting grief have me in such a chokehold.

And its very much appreciated, truly, to just come on here and be silly and feel welcomed. It's something very much new in spite of being all over the rpc for years. You guys are seriously such a breath of fresh air and im very happy and very lucky i feel being able to write and talk about a game and characters i quite literally have never even played dhudsb

All that to say, ive just been feeling alot more lighter since coming back and alot of its to do with how sweet and lovely and welcoming yall have been.

Before i let myself get any Worse on the sappiness, just leaving a Thank You for yalls patience with me esp this past week tryna get my damn brain back from being lost in luggage sbdjvud vacay brainrot is still lingering but hopefully goes away soon.

Its just been very nice since returning. Yall have been more than lovely vibing with and letting me ramble about muses with near nothing to them that ive yoinked from gun to my others from near non-existant r.pcs like my remakes and trials peeps. And with my little bird.

Im a ridiculously reserved and quiet person and my anxietys got a chokehold still that makes me hesitant in reaching out / talking as often as i wish but i do feel like ive started poking out of that since joining the server. (I also often sort of. Blank out. Time passes me by very strangely and it sometimes comes with me not realizing hrs or at times literal days have passed without me registering it has. So, especially thankyou on being patient with me c;)

Thank you for the last month and a half ♡ its fuckin wild to me that its both been a month already and that its only been a month. Feels like its been simultaneously much longer and much shorter somehow.

#dont mind me woke up a sap like two hrs ago and im eepy #talking about cuteness last night i think turned my brain mushy overnight. its the lingering maria feels sbudbd #also to not cause concern hopefully - i am okay!! i just woke up Sappy ♡ dbudb #and just in case tho i tried to be kinda vague on them and nkt elaborate too much: #pet death cw #parent death cw #cancer cw #vent cw #[ 𝟎𝟎 ] ── * 𝐎𝐎𝐂. { renee. }

[quodekash]

ah frick, i forgot what i was doing again and got distracted for half an hour finding out how many languages have the word for orange the fruit and orange the colour as the same thing, and it turns out most of them do and i think thats really stupid

WAIT APPARENTLY ITS BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF SINCE I POSTED LAST?? WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING, I GENUINELY DONT REMEMBER

welp, either way, time to continue. i probably wont finish today

ENGLISH JUMPSCARE, JEEZ, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT "good morning"

you spent half of it lost in a forest, but sure. whatever you say buddy

kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss.

HES SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

FHJEWKBSDG THE STICKY NOTES

BRB IMMA CRY REAL QUICK

THE FACE

THE FACE

THE SMILEY FACE

THE PRAN SMILEY FACE

AAAAAAAAA

AND THE WAY THEY KEEP SMILING AT EACH OTHER???

I AM DECEASED. DEAD. GONE.

I AM KICKING MY FEET AND SMILING AND CRYING AND DYING AND AAAAAAA

THEY FISTBUMPED

THEY FISTBUMPED

THYE FISTBUMPED

GIEJRHNGDSOJVBENRPDOIKGNL

YOURE KIDDING

this is the end of me. thats it.

im writing p'aof into my will

someone play Our Song at my funeral

imma head out and die rn

see y'all in hell

OH EW I SAID Y'ALL, NEVER MIND IM COMING BACK, NOT DYING TODAY, I NOW REGRET EVERYTHING IVE EVER DONE

AAAAAAAAAAA

THEYRE BOTH JUST SO PRETTY AND SO PRECIOUS AND I WOULD DIE FOR THEM

PFFFT

my favourite thing is the fact that (if my memory serves me correctly) patpran never actually told phutian that theyre dating, but it was like as soon as they stepped foot into the village their gaydars went off and they just immediately k n e w, and i love it so much

theyre just such dads

HHHHHHH

GUEORJBDG

THEYD BETTER FREAKING COME BACK

THERES NO WAY THEY JUST LEAVE ALL OF THIS BEHIND

THEY DEFINITELY COME BACK EVERY SO OFTEN, COMPLETELY UNANNOUNCED, BECAUSE I SAID SO

AFTER PRAN GOES TO SINGAPORE, WHEN HE COMES BACK ONCE A YEAR THEY GO TO THE VILLAGE FOR A BIT

MAYBE SOMETIMES PAT GETS LONELY WHILE PRAN'S GONE AND HE GOES TO THE VILLAGE FOR A FEW DAYS AND HANGS OUT WITH THE KIDS OR SOMETHING

I CANT TAKE IT IF THEY JUST DONT COME BACK SO THIS STUFF IS CANON NOW I DECIDED

KAMPUNG

MY FAVOURITE CHILD

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

HIS NAO NONG DOLL EYE MASK???

DAMN OKAY THEN

YES

PLEASE DO

"think of this place as your home. you're always welcome here." YES. GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ITS NOT THE END OF THE JOURNEY

THEYRE COMING BACK AND THATS FINAL

THEY. ARE. DADS.

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY????

they're gonna fu-

they're definitely gonna fu-

AND THEY SAID "OF COURSE"

THERE IS HOPEEE

well duh, of course he did

(there's this one tiktok i saw of a clip, and it has been the main driving force for me to finally watch this, (alongside wanting to finish before my friend), and the clip wouldnt have happened if phu didn't sign it)

NO BUT SERIOUSLY

WATCH IT

I HAVE WATCHED THIS ON REPEAT SO MANY TIMES THAT I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE

PFFFFTBAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS IS SO FUNNY OMG

THEYRE SUCH HUSBANDS AND BOYFRIENDS AND DADS I LOVE THEM

PLS ITS SO FUNNY

it honestly looks kinda like a horror film or smth

i just love them so much

you guys have literally had sex before, what do you mean a "closer look"

bro hes probably licked those abs before, what are you doing

PLS-

LIKE YOU'RE ANY BETTER?

I JUST LOVE MY DADS SO MUCH

ah frick im out of images again

IM TWELVE MINUTES THROUGH THE EPISODE AND IVE ALREADY USED UP MY 30 SCREENSHOTS FOR ONE TUMBLR POST, WHAT THE HELL

im making another one, ill be back, i promise

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #bad buddy #bad buddy series #a tale of thousand stars #atots #1000stars #patpran #phutian #phuphatian #ohmnanon #earthmix #ohm pawat #nanon korapat #earth pirapat #mix sahaphap #our skyy 2 x bad buddy #our skyy 2 x a tale of thousand stars #our skyy 2 x atots

[wolf-gutz]

Max/TransM!Reader Chapter 1

An - sorry for dissapearing again lol, i got really depressed and didnt feel like writing, but ive hotten back into a bit !! heres a four chapter Max fic because literaly no one ever writes about him, cmon people 😭

Cw: smutty vibes but no actual smut, violence and slight mention of gore

About - basically you end up joining the cult, yes, i was extremly lazy with making up a reason lmao. it follows the movie except *spoiler* Max doesnt die. Max is horn knee the whole time

Words - 1182

continue under the cut <3

Bee came in with the shots, handing one to me and one to Cole. she was our, quote unquote babysitter, even though i didn’t need one since I was almost 17. Bee was a close friend of mine though, so I didn’t mind it much.

It smelt like she had mixed vodka with Baileys, which I hated both, so when she left to go pour herself a shot, we both hurriedly dumped ours out into the nearby plant.

“Oh, you did it without me” She pouted, before taking her own. I yawned and stretched, and Cole yawned as well, for whatever reason.

“Alright Coley, time for bed, I let you stay u an extra half hour, so shoo now. Im probably gonna go to sleep soon anyways Y/N.” She said, putting her hands on his shoulders and turning him around towards the stairs.

“Thats fine, Im tired as fuck anyways.”

Bee smiled, sitting herself over on the couch as me and Cole headed upstairs.

Truthfully, I wasnt actually that tired, but I just wanted some space, it had been quite chaotic, and sometimes a guy just needs time alone to read some horny fanfiction.

A couple hours in, I heard some commotion downstairs, then Cole softly knocking on my door. I opened up it and was about to ask what he was still doing awake, before he shushed me, grabbing my hand.

He pulled me down to his level and put one finger over my lips, whispering to me.

“Bee has people over, like, a lot. Theyre all playing truth or dare and stuff, wanna cpme watch?” He said, giggling to himself.

I nodded, going along with it just out of boredom, and we sat at the top of the stair case, watching them.

There was five other people sitting in a circle with Bee.

Max, a buff jock who I had a huge crysh on for the past two years, though I doubted he was into guys. 

Allison, the head cheerleader. I didn’t know much about her other than she had a kind of bimbo, bratty personality.

Jon, who I had only talked to a few times. He was funny and pretty chill, the kind of guy to let you smoke his weed occasionally without paying him back.

Sonya, who was a sort of gothic crazy chick. I heard that she went mad and almost killed one of her exs, but honestly I could care less since she was nice to me and SUPER pretty.

And Samuel. Samuel was a surprise, since he wasnt exactly the type of person Bee would hang around. He was a huge nerd, and anxious as all hell, but he seemed to be having fun.

The bottle landed on Bee who chose dare, and Max dared her too make out with everyone in the circle.

She gave a simple kiss too Max, which I wouldve done much more in her situation but anyways. She full ass made out with Allison, licked Johns face leving him upset, and gave a kiss on Sonyas forehead, Sonya levaing a kiss on hers.

Then it came time for Samuel, but he seemed extremly nervous. When Bee crawled over to him, he stood up, Bee following suit, and they seemed to all try and convince him it would be fine, though it was hard to hear what they were saying.

He eventually gave in, the two embracing in a kiss. Bee pulled back, and Samuel looked at her with a slight smile, before she pulled out two daggers, planting them right into his skull.

What the fuck.

He let out a bloodcurdling scream, and something about a porpoise, as Bee stuck the daggers in further, stuttered chokes escaping Samuels mouth. 

Blood slowly trickled down from the wounds, as the others gathered around Bee with goblet looking cups.

“Is everyone ready?” I heard her ask, and all the members excitedly said yes, tilting their cups towards his head. 

Bee yanked the daggers out, and the blood started to flow into Sonya, Max, and Allisons cups, as Bee grabbed her own. John wasn’t getting any, and said something that seemed like he was complaining about it, before getting sprayed in the face and soaked in Samuels blood.

Jon made a grossed out sound, desparatley trying to wipe the blood from his face, Bee saying something back to him.

I left after that, I had seen enough. I tried to tell Cole to run as well, but he wouldn’t move, so I left him behind. Bee wouldnt hurt him, and I felt like I was going to puke.

After a bit, I heard Coles door shut, and only a few minutes later footsteps. They were going up the steps, most likely to one of our rooms.

“-were gonna do with Cole, but what about his brother?” I heard Max ask. He sounded right outside of my door.

“He should be knocked out, but you can do whatever if you like. Just don’t hurt him.” Bee said, walking away.

“I would never.” Max laughed, and my door started opening. I rushed to put my headphones on, and pulled out my phone, pretending I was on it.

I gave Max a shocked look when he came into my room, and he looked surprised.

“Uh, sorry, thought you were asleep, Bee just wanted me to grab something.” He said, smiling, his demeanor immediately switching.

“Uh? Your Max, right? Why are you shirtless?” My chest felt tight, but in a kind of good way.

“A friend needed it. And yeah, your Y/N, right?” He chuckled, and I nodded.

He sat down on my bed and leaned towards my face.

“Your a lot cuter up close y’know.”

I kind of just froze, I knew he was flirty wuth everyone, but it still made me feel nice.

“Damn, you shouldve joined us earlier when we were playin truth or dare, you would’ve made things funnnn.” He laughed.

“Ah- us?” I asked.

“Yeah, Bees just got some friends over Y’know, you seem like the kind of person we could hang out with. You got something that you want so badly, you’d kill for it?” He said, leaning in closer, his hand on one of my thighs.

“Uh, weird question but… yeah, kind of.” I said. I had a dream to became a world famous actor, but I wasnt exactly the best at acting, and I couldn't seem to get any teaching for the life of me, since my parents found it stupid. I would kill for that honestly. I'd kill for a lot. I was kind of selfish, but I didn't mind.

“What if I said, you could do that, with us? I’d have to ask Bee, but I think she'd be down. Plus, Id want a cute face on our side like yours. Allisons hot, but she never shuts her mouth, and Sonyas a psycho bitch, but you on the other hand….”

“Uh me? Haha.” I nervously laughed, and he suddenly pulled back.

“So what do you say?”

“S… sure I'll join I guess, I have nothing better to do.” 

“Cool, cool. Are you a virgin?”

“UHM. A little straight forward haha, but yeah.”

“Good, good. Were collecting Coles blood, but I guess we could use yours if anything goea wrong” He laughed at his own joke. 

“Haha…. maybe.” I laughed nervously.

we sat in silence for a second, me pretending to be busy, as Max eyed me up and down.

“Hey, Im already shirtless and evereyone else is busy, why dont we?” Max asked, leaning back towards me. 

“I- i uh…. why don't we what?

“Listen, I know you got a little crush on me and your cute enough.”

“I’m just surprised your uh… into me….” I stuttered a little, turning off my phone and setting it to the side, finally getting what he meant.

“Your a cute nerd, who wouldn’t?” He grabbed my fave harshly, pulling it towards his.

I made a soft whimpering sound, closing my legs, trying not to stare down at his abs.

“Ahh, th- thanks.” I barely finished my sentence before he pulled me into a kiss, grabbing at the back of my head.

He dragged one of his legs over till he was on top of me, still aggressivley making out, soft moans escaping from both of us. He reached his other hand underneath my shirt and grabbed my back, holding me tight to him.

I went for it and ran one of my hands across his abs, pulling appart from the kiss for a second so I could breath. 

As i panted, he tilted my head, licking up my neck before giving me a soft bite and sucking on my neck, leaving a huge hickey, before leaving another, and another, and another. Moans escaped my lips as I desparatley tried to hide how horny this was making me, but when I looked down I could see how hard he was through his pants.

I decided to take the chance and slid my hands towards his pants, putting my fingers around the waistband before sliding them over to the button of his pants, slowly undoing it as he continued to mark on my neck.

#max the babysitter #max #the babysitter #horror movie #the babysitter max #slasher #horror #movie #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #max fanfiction #fanfic author #male reader #trans masc reader #trans reader #trans reader smut