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thepaintedsable · 1 day

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Spread finished! I decided the other page would be fanart of fandoms I find somewhat more entertaining than the actual media at this point.

Mostly because I like to watch fires burning, lol.

Even though this art isn't explicet and only shows the main guy, obligatory notice that the game "Your Boyfriend" is 18+ only, and the creator does not want minors interacting with the game nor in the fandom due to its content. Additionally, do not seek out/invade 18+ parts of fandoms as a minor. Heed this warning, for yourself and for others.

Talking and some sketches below the cut:

I mean this wholeheartedly, fandom is so fun. I derive so much joy by digging through what feels like surprise extra content, except it's made by people who like the same thing you do. From wholesome to unhinged, I love it all (generally, anyways. Some things can get a little... too unhinged).

I mean no disrespect with anything I say.

But for some reason??? That's Not My Neighbor and The Amazing Digital Circus got slotted into the same part of my brain for "unhinged fandom" as Your Boyfriend and Undertale??? Like guys 💀 How did I manage to get onto the unhinged side of a fandom for what amounts to a stationary point-and-click game??? A cartoon with two whole episodes??? I am having the time of my life but???

At least Your Boyfriend has an... excuse? It's a "romantic visual novel" type game but one of your love interests is actually a stalker who kills anyone who gets too close to you. Also falls into the "character knows its a game" trope but I haven't played myself to know if it shows up in-game just yet. I can see how that can attract a group of Individuals™️. I don't even know how I found the game/fandom, I'm going to be honest. The game is not even finished yet, and it looks like it's last big flush was two years ago. Horror media is horror media, tho, and I've been able to dig out some actual horror fan content in-between the... other stuff.

Undertale is Undertale. We all know what happened with Undertale. I had my time with Undertale, and even though it's past I generally hold the least regrets with my enjoyment of it in terms of fandoms. I used to like Underfell Sans lol. I still enjoy the game, never got into Deltarune.

That's Not My Neighbor fandom, or at least the side of it that I've stumbled into, is so real. It is so funny I love it. It is somehow all Milkman and that means I am either being pushed memes or the most down bad horrendous formation of words and brushstrokes you can imagine. Let my boy sleep, he didnt do nothing wrong 😭 I don't even think I'd personally enjoy the actual game, from the videos I've seen. The concept does vibe with me though (1950s, postwar era monster horror? Hell yeah).

TADC is only here because it is insane to me that even some people did not think Jax was going to be an absolute trashbag and flipped the switch on him (im unsure of how many people really held this beleif, but ive seen it talked about). Totally yalls poragitive, but man was that FAST. I guess I'm too used to seeing people liking vilian/antagonist characters, but I guess I'm proud of yall for realizing you can't fix him lmfao?

^ Sans Undertale disapproves in your choice of men

^ Some sketches I did while making the character stills.

#your boyfriend game #your boyfriend #not my neighbor #thats not my neighbor #yb peter #tnmn milkman #undertale sans #TADC Jax #sketchbook #Sketchbook 29 #sketchbook spread #finished sketchbook spread #talking fandom #fanart #tw stalking #talking about #18+ content #tw light gore

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notyouraryang0dd3ss · 22 days

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some of those anti ts blogs willing to look past the fact that they got zionists in their circles just because those people also hate ts…wack

like do they realize it makes them no better than the people they criticize

being a hater is a noble pursuit, have some fucking morals oh my god!!!

ive always been a ts hater and i havent really known much about her until like last year because this shit is inescapable and its so bizarre how she seems to have parasocial stans and parasocial haters - both equally obsessed with her life

theyre like organisms in a petri dish to me

BEING A HATER IS A NOBLE PURSUIT HAVE SOME FUCKING MORALS!!!!!!!!

ive always been a hater too and got sucked back in around this time last year when she got with matty healy. i literally forgot she existed between 2017-2022 im not joking i literally heard NOTHING about her online or in my friend circle. and then i found out it was because she was in a 6 year relationship and i was like “oooooohhhhhh she was normal”

idk if i consider myself a parasocial hater but i do feel crazy that nobody remembers all her shitty past actions and i do. tbh sometimes shitswiftiessay posts stuff criticizing taylor’s appearance (it was comparing her face when she laughs to donald trumps) that’s actually misogynistic. im not stalking her every move so much as being critical and holding her accountable for her racism etc.

but its really hard to define parasocial hater rn when she’s the most exposed she’s ever been. so many ppl today on this blog were complaining how they were bombarded with taylor swift ads. i dont think this tag wouldve blown up if so many people werent feeling this way already.

and the whole reason i have this blog is because i felt so crazy explaining taylor’s history of racism and nobody caring/dismissing or at worst gaslighting me for even feeling this way. idk i appreciate all the other anti blogs but most of them are joe alwyn defenders (btw theres nothing wrong w that. but thats not the main reason im an anti) and none of them really talk about her racism. i made this space to talk about her and swifties racism, white feminism, etc.

and then oct. 7 happened (i literally made this blog oct. 2 its so funny) and seeing all the zionists and genocide deniers alienated me. i made it very clear from the jump that i was pro palestine and stood for the liberation of palestine so i didn’t post for a while and didn’t feel comfortable interacting in the tag cause it was full of zionists. it was also funny bc shitswiftiessay followed me immediately up until i stated my solidarity then they blocked me 🤣 soooooooo funny. so ive been pretty MIA until recently i got an ask abt jewishbarbies and that’s how im posting today :}

#some more notyouraryang0dd3ss lore for you all…#ask #anon #anti taylor swift #notyouraryang0dd3ss

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plural-culture-is · 10 months

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i fear that i may be a system in denial or something along those lines.

for years of my life, ive struggled with three voices in my head, dissociation, derealization, depersonalization, way-too-over-the-top delusions, hallucinations here and there, and never feeling like who im supposed to be. a few months ago, i thought that it could have to do with undiagnosed schizophrenia or some type of schizo-related disorder (because of the delusions and hallucinations). but recently, ive noticed that these things are all getting worse.

there are more voices. its no longer just the three. and i feel like i should know these voices, even though i dont. they're still strangers to me.

my struggles with dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization have gotten worse---especially the derealization and depersonalization.

my main delusion has been growing stronger and stronger, becoming more and more severe. (though the strength of it tends to vary, so...)

nothing's gone on with the hallucinations. at least, i dont think so. i haven't been paying attention.

and my feelings of never feeling "right" or "correct" have gotten so much stronger. i cant go ten minutes without thinking, is this who i really am? am i faking who i am? if im faking my identity, who am i really? why dont i know who i truly am? will i ever learn who i truly am? am i the only one who cant figure out who they are? why do i never feel like im my true self? why do i always faking who i am? how do i act like my true self? does my true self even exist at this point? and et cetera.

i dont think im a system. i dont want to be a system. i dont want to be plural. i already struggle enough with my neurodevelopmental and physical disabilities. i already struggle enough my mental health and with trauma. i dont need the struggles of having did or osdd or something related. i dont want the struggles, either.

but the more and more i research did for my system character in one of my books, i find more that i can relate to. as i mentioned earlier, i used to think that i might be schizophrenic due to my delusions and hallucinations. but just the other day as i was doing more research about did for my character, i found out that its possible for systems and plurals to often struggle with those things. and my brain went down a deep rabbit hole, like, well fuck shit balls, could i possibly be plural? did my trauma fuck me up that much???

as i went down that rabbit hole, i realized that i dont remember a lot of my childhood. i remember a few specific memories, most of which are either traumatic or just funny memories that ive told as stories numerous times. other than that, i know next to nothing. i also have times where i cant remember shit about anything. my name, my age, my address, what schools ive gone to, what school i go to now, what i did ten hours ago, what i did five seconds ago, et cetera. ive also noticed that im constantly remembering those things wrong. "how old are you?" someone could ask. "im thirteen years old," ill say, then correct myself, "no, wait, im x years old." ive even said that im seven years old when im in fact much older than that. people could ask me, "what's your name?" and ill answer with something that's not my name. could be a nickname from school, a nickname from the many summer camps ive gone to, my pen name for my books, or a random name in general. and there are so many examples that i could give.

back to my doing research stuff for my character, i was going through one website when i found an infographic. it was a simple thing; just five common symptoms of dissociative identity disorder. it listed...

~ inability to remember large portions of your childhood

~ out-of-body experiences, hallucinations, and/or flashbacks

~ suicidal thoughts or self-harm

~ differences in handwriting and changing levels of functioning

~ episodes of memory loss

if i dont experience them now, ive experienced all of them before. the first one, i just mentioned. the second one happens all of the fucking time. the third one happens on a daily basis. the first half of the fourth i haven't really noticed, but the second half is very true. and i just talked about the fifth one.

i dont know if i just have some type of dissociative disorder or im just crazy. but i cant get it out of my head that i might be a system or a system in early development. (dont really know how to explain what i mean by "in early development," but ill try to: what i mean is that im in the early developing stages where dissociation starts happening frequently and alters start forming, but switches arent possible yet.) that or ive been forcing myself---if i am plural and in denial---to act like a normal person, just like ive been doing with autism and adhd.

do you have any advice on how to figure out if im a system or not??? i dont have access to a therapist or psychologist due to my parents not believing in mental illness and things like that.

sorry, we've just stopped accepting am I plural asks, so this one goes out to the public

also, here's our resources for questioning systems

#not plural culture #am i plural #plural system #plurality #actuallyplural #anonymous

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mpregfrance · 6 months

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Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

#this made my day #this ask gave me bottom emoji eyes!!!#DM me if you want babe #ask and ye shall receive #tw vent

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skyburger · 1 month

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lately ive been going through my google history when im bored (which is so incredibly entertaining btw. highly recommend) and apparently, after double-checking my camera roll that date & finding proof to support this theory, i did indeed first watch hlvrai on november 4th of 2020. absolutely insane. i thought i hadnt seen it until mid-2021 at LEAST.

shoutsout to my friends who i watched it with at the time half of which i dont talk to anymore... i owe u for getting me into funny half-life series. thank you oomf

WARNING !!! below the read more is a long fucking list of funny* things i found in my camera roll from the week i first watched hlvrai. like not the images themselves just me talking about them. i dont know why i thought that was a good idea but alas i already spent 90+ minutes writing that all out and tbf i did have a good laugh looking at that shit. anyway the warning is because its long as fuck and i'm willing to bet not at all interesting to anyone who isn't me. i think if i talk any more i will ramble for fucking ever so ill shut up. WARNING OVER !!! miami make some fucking NOISE. dj tsumugi.

*please note these were funny to both me in late 2020 (age 15) and me now (older but not at all wiser). what im trying to say is read at your own risk because 90% of this is unfunny as fuck but it could be worse. it could be shit from when i was 12. That would be really bad i think

anyway here are some highlights from my camera roll from like the day before, the day of & the day after "the incident" (me watching hlvrai):

a ridiculous amount of terezi pyrope pictures. i had not (and still have not) ever read homestuck

at least 30 pictures of hugh o'conner. probably more if im being honest with myself

the same few pictures of kokichi ouma? for some reason?

like a lot of pictures of nagito komaeda. there is at least one screenshot where my discord pfp is nagito. Something Happened

vriska and nepeta also make an appearance. the former more so but not nearly as much as terezi for some reason

a lot of screenshots of discord convos involving various hughdebeste aus. some favorites are the homestuck au, the peabody & sherman au(???), the meet the robinsons au(??????), splatoon au

blu and red scout tf2 they have taco bell and kfc shirts respectively?

professor sycamore from pokemon and professor sycamore from layton. there are multiple images of each and theyre right next to each other

screenshots of the homestuck wiki. Concerning

a screenshot of an email i got from nintendo about the special edition fortnite switch releasing

like a lot of screenshots of alfendi layton from when i was playing lbmr. not surprising but theres kind of a ridiculous amount

a picture of alvin (the chipmunk) that just says "WE DID IT"

screenshots of me talking in ridiculous 13375P34K on twitter and being accused of kinning from homestuck. quite frankly? i deserved that

hatsune miku makes a few appearances

many tumblr post screenshots. However i did not take these myself i just saved them from reddit. really ashamed to admit i did this for literal years even when i used tumblr at the same time

picture of professor layton standing in that one pose in that one picture i dont know how to describe it. the "you know i had to do it to em" one

that one bugs bunny suit meme and it says "i wish all boobed men a very pleasant evening". this was apparently important enough for me to save twice like an hour and a half apart

many screenshots of me on discord AND twitter posting quotes from hlvrai as i watched it. this includes on my masked disciple roleplay account

a picture of my danganronpa trilogy for ps4 copy. but its one of those live pictures so when i click on it i get attacked (i had the flash on because i took this picture in the dark)

that one really terrible picture of tommy coolatta thats like the first non-fanart picture of him on google images. thrilled to announce i think thats been the only image on his wiki page for years now

picture of hime & mikoto meika's mmd models. i think they had recently released or been announced at this point

catboy apollo justice & wolf boy klavier gavin gacha life gifs. i think my friend made this (if it was in fact my friend and not someone random this was the same friend who streamed hlvrai and thus changed my life forever btw)

that old meme about not passing [xyz] the aux because theyll play [abc]. it says "Do NOT pass the kinnie the aux / They'll just playin 'Alvvays - Archie, Marry Me (Official Video)'"

screenshots of calendar events i set up celebrating the anniversary of two dgs characters' deaths (genklimt fans rise up!)

screenshot of my real kinlist on my real carrd from 2020. i can tell it was just edited because this screenshot has scribbles on it (i circled the latest addition to my kinlist which is in fact "dr. coomer")

screenshots of me and my oomfs on this one specific anime rp roblox game that i WISH i could remember the name of. it let you import pngs of any character you wanted so we had pictures of ace attorney guys hanging out with madoka girls at some point. this specific instance includes klavier gavin, baby trucy wright, rosie from animal crossing & a blue orb thing(??). we are all incredibly small for some reason

john cena suit gangnam style depression. this is saved multiple times. does anyone else remember this post i used to be obsessed with it for some reason

picture of a historical moment in my life (the day i changed my ps4 username to "TheKokichiOuma" which i have regretted for years now. in my defense it did actually use to be worse than that im so serious. 2018 was a dark time why did i pick the name "DabWeebPolics". Horrific!

screenshot of a string of tweets between me and a friend at the time. the tweets arent actually important except for the first one which reads "these gummy bears taste british i cant explain it". this is only important because i remember these fucking gummy bears and they DID taste british in like the same way heathrow airport feels british you know

this one picture of my chemical romance in a forest(?) but bob looks like my fucking dad at a quick glance and it scares me every time i see it. i saved this multiple times over the course of that day

various pictures my friend made of jove justice being set on fire

the really short businessman with the fuckass bob from the lorax but my oomf edited him to look like kazuma asougi

picture of byakuya togami which is only funny because it has text on top of him that says "I. DO. NOT. GEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a single screenshot of a tumblr post about the events of That Day (destiel putin election day.) the only other thing referencing this in my gallery is a screenshot of the trending tab on twitter (the trends are, in order. 1. #TrumpMeltdown 2. destiel 3. #ElectionResults2020)

two paper mario character pngs followed by that one misha collins picture. you know the one

various screenshots of a mishapocalypse happening on twitter

more super paper mario pngs

im going through pictures slightly further out from nov 4th now (i think after i look at nov 2nd & nov 6th ill call it quits). first image i see is that "gay people i respect vs. gay people i dont respect" image and i dont know why i saved that nevermind i scrolled and immediately found i made a dgs meme out of that

phoenix wright BASED ON GAY MANGA?

went through the ace attorney mamboleo person's deviantart that day i think so i have various funny works of theirs saved. i think the average person actually would know them as the stamp on the ground animation person so. Thats them too. on a side note watching that video after you got into metal gear is fucking insane

that mom against cat boys tshirt

a lot of unnoteworthy professor layton & ace attorney & dgs images

ben shapiro on the ace attorney witness stand?

oh im finding out i got really fucking mad at william petenshy that day. iirc i got so fucking annoyed at this case i didnt even finish it i just. skipped it. i wasnt even playing it i was just watching it???

one of those "tag yourself / which mutual am i" posts but all the options are characters from my kinlist. one of the titles is a jfk clone high reference

screenshots of dms to klimt van zieks begging him to drop a kinlist

a screenshot of a friends reply to my tweet (hi doop) which did just remind me of my "damon gant is apollo justice's grandpa" theory. this tweet manages to tie yanni yogi into the family tree

screenshot of a discord music bot playing a youtube video (remember when they could do that?). the video is titled "henry ledore does his taxes for 10 minutes asmr"

apparently i looked at characters i share a mbti with that day. highlights include souseki (the dgs guy. no idea about the real one), ron delite, flora reinhold, pyro tf2, agent 8 (splatoon), n harmonia & my goat DERPY HOOVES

screenshot of part of twitter's trending page. it says that trending in the united kingdom, with at least 3,610 tweets, is "Homosexuals"

screenshots of multiple tweets in a row from me. they all involve me frantically talking about how i really want to kin nagito komaeda even though i know fuck-all about him

various pictures of markiplier (both in real life & in fma)

real screenshot of me unironically saying "mental illness innit" in reference to myself. this was in my twitter dms with my friends klimt van zieks roleplay account which is even worse

original gina lestrade & egg benedict image made by me. if you know the apollo gant image its basically that

okay i lied i went back to nov 1st and i think i'll check nov 7th afterwards. one full week of nonsense. this proved to be a good idea because i immediately found a screenshot of a text to my mom asking her if she kinned gnomeo from gnomeo and juliet. she said yes

possible origin of why i own a boss baby poster: oomf kin-assigned me the boss baby

possibly my favorite example of the twitter feature where it shows you the original tweet and then the last two replies on a long thread of replies to that post. the original tweet is me saying in all caps "i care him so much he is so small" about luke triton (what a 2020 sentence!). the last two replies are from me and then my oomf but i think only the first of the two needs recounting. it says "do you really want to explain vore to your teachers". i know i say i want context a lot but i genuinely do really want context for this what the fuck happened here

oh good! boss baby update: theres a screenshot of my ebay purchase of "BOSS BABY Poster A5"

im on pictures from november 7th now. i think i went through a figures bot that day because i have a frankly ridiculous amount of figures (mostly nendoroids. mostly miku nendoroids.) there's also the default hime & mikoto png in the middle of these

twitter notification screenshot. apparently kristoph gavin ace attorney followed me that day

i think i went and looked through a christian memes subreddit or twitter account or SOMETHING i dont know where else these all came from. this is followed by a staggering amount of facebook minion memes

side note: does anyone else remember the aatwt (ace attorney twitter) & puyo puyo twitter crossover event in the michael's customer service chat incident? that feels like a different universe

this one is really nothing compared to any of this other stuff but i do have proof of me saying "pog" unironically

grand finale to this saga is actually from a couple days after (nov 9th 2020) but after seeing the staggering amount of death the kid images i had saved over like two days (i had watched a couple episodes of soul eater with my pals) i felt compelled to dig up my "death the kid get wifi anywhere you go" fancam. i might post it later cause its a classic (only to me)

thank you all so much for watching remember to like and subscribe and whatever. thank you for reading this if you read it for some fucking reason. i spent just over an hour and a half looking through this shit & typing this but it was a nice walk thru memory lane tbh! im gonna shut up now before i start rambling. feel free 2 ask for the images or context to any of these i literally love rambling. peace and love on planet earth. LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOODNIGHT NEW YORK CITY

#muffin mumbles #and in cass anyone wanted something to do. feel free to give me a date from any time after like christmas 2013 #and i will dig up an old search or video i watched or email or image from my history #its so entertaining to me. DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO THOUGH!!! the option is there if u want it but it is NOT mandatory #so again i say... goodnight new york city. (i take a bow and walk off stage)

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goremet-chef · 11 months

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just found someone who makes monster hunter lego builds do NOT speak to me im. this. GRGRGRG

anyways heres some gifs i have of monsters cuz im in love with this series forever and always (super long ramble SFJKS ive been writing this for hours)

odogaron + ebony odo is like.... you dont understand. thats me i kin so many monsters from MH its insane like.. thats literally me nothing reflects me better LOOK AT THEM. rathalos, odogaron, nargacuga like any red scary thing i resonate with deep in my soul its insane

this one is one of my headmates favorites. shrieking legi really came thru when he was having a bad time and i love this for him. ITS JUST LIKE... so many of the monsters resonate with us on such personal levels, that its hard to even explain. i am selfish, and i do view monster hunter as my game (got that autism special) like these are my creatures they were made for me

REAL TALK THO, these two were genuinely actually made for me look at this shit

unknown (black flying wyvern) and valstrax my beloveds. fucking god tier

the fact that i already resonate with the rathalos so hard, and it turns out theres a black and red edgier cool version of it/????like are you insane when i discovered this thing i was. SO UNWELL IN MY CHANNEL ON DISCORD i literally rambled about it for AN HOUR STRAIGHT. then when i found out about valstrax i rambled about that one for an hour too SKFJS like wow they are so cool. autism is real

also have this one, xeno'jiiva is so. MHW was my first MH game (say what you will) and god damn. im gonna be real idk if id be so into it if it wasnt for MHW, cuz like.... the main appeal of the entire game series to me is the monsters themselves. like im. when i first started i was TOO SCARED TO FIGHT THE GREAT JAGRAS (yknow. the first large monster you fight 😭😭 like the 3rd quest. insane) because ive never been into fighting games and having something large PURSUE ME didnt sound pleasant

crazy that i went from being too scared to play it again to LITERALLY playing for 72 hours almost STRAIGHT with minimal pee and sleep breaks, and giving myself carpal fucking tunnel cuz i was just. obsessed. AUTISM IS REAL

went from couldnt stand 10 minutes of it to 400 hours in game SKFJSD

and i would do it again bitch!!!

so what im SAYING. alright. is that im not a fighter in games (well NOW i am, but before i super wasnt) but what drew me in was how i could just.. watch. how i could see all the big scary monsters sleep and eat and walk around and fight eachother. how i could get their tracks, listen to their sounds, ETC. like it was so. IT WAS THRILLING and ive never been more in love

like for context my first special interest is fnaf and i wouldnt be anything like myself if i never got into fnaf like life changing shit. but i gotta say, i mean. ive played the fnaf games and i love the story and EVERYTHING this is not a diss on my first home!!!! but i played MHW to the point of exhaustion, to where i needed to have an arm brace and even then despite the HORRIBLE PAIN in my wrist, i still kept playing

i played so much i literally managed to rub the s and w letters of my siblings keyboard KSJFSF like it was for real. i miss that, like a lot. i dont play as much anymore because i mean. i have it on my laptop. my laptop is a gaming laptop and it can run!! but its better for my

yknow i dont think i have an actual reason and im literally about to cry thinking about it SKFSFJ the good computer with the good graphics and running is my siblings and id need permission, yknow how it is. PLUS im a bit stuck? i need an urugaan ruby for my barioth mission lmao but ill get there

monster hunter world is so beautiful. the environments are fucking stunning, the visual upgrade for the monsters was INSANE and just watching them be animals? it brings me so much joy KSJSJSJ

one of my favorites is the rotten vale, which is funny cuz i remember the first time i ever went there i was so. PARANOID. i use sound with pretty much everything i play since my eyes might not track everything thats happening, so hearing the ambience for the vale freaked me out so much, i stayedat the camp for SO LONG and good thing too cuz the radobaan makes its way down that path and i was shook SKFJSF

also the big fucking dalamadur skeleton in the vale is so. UGHHHH

i love horror and rot and decay!!! its frightening its unsettling but even still the vale is such a necessary part of the ecosystem!!! like wow monsters come there to DIE? are youINSANE

(dalamadur is like one of the biggest monsters for reference. the whole upper part of the vale is made of its skeleton cuz its a big snake its so UGHHH)

also the???? STOMACH ACID POOL?

they were cooking bro,,,,, such a gorgeous and unsettling environment goddd

like GOD i cant think of anything better, the story for MHW is so good man. the tracker said "its an ecological marvel" and i took that personally (i repeat that so much about random shit its not even funny how long ive been doing that for)

or how like... any of the docile monsters (tobi kadachi, banbaro, kulu ya ku, ETC) i genuinely if i go on expedition, and i see theres a docile monster in one of the locales, ill go there and just follow them around the ENTIRE TIME SFKSFS

heres SEVERAL pics of me with banbaros at different times KSJFS

that isnt even all of them with JUST banbaro 💀💀💀 its my favorite activity

and sometimes i get hit with the banbaro / nightshade paolumu / coral pukei combo!!!! thats a triple docile whammy!!!!! thriving

also heres a cute viper tobi shot :] love viper tobi

also also i cant believe i never said anything yet but VAAL HAZAK??? my actual liege look at this mf

MY LORD!!! vaal is so fucking cool man. and the KICKER??? DOCILE

whenever i do this quest i do just follow it around for a while (which. ive had to do this quest A LOT cuz i thought i get vitality crystals from it (yknow cuz i got some from it) so i have probably 100% killed more vaal hazak than any of the other elder dragons SKFJSF

vaal hazak is so cool cuz its covered in rotten meat and uses the effluvium (corpse gas) as its like. life source. it pulls excess effluvium from the vale into itself and expels it when theres not enough, so its keeping the ecosystem tame its so cool UGHH

also one of its moves it plays dead its so fucked up itll fall over like you've knocked it over and then just lay there but you hear its inhale and it looks up and BLASTS YOU with its effluvia gas beam (WHICH. THAT THING HURTS!!!!!! for real the effluvium attack is so. plus it also halves yr health? like if vaal hits you with that shit itll give you miasma or whatever and it HALFS YR HEALTH BAR and you gotta eat a nulberry to negate it

im not one for switching shit around in my like item bar tho (MAINLY cuz most the time ive played MHW was with my siblings mouse and its scroll bare was broken so swapping items was hard) so i just put on like 3 effluvia resistance gems and it cant give me miasma. problem solved SKFSJF

i did get so tired of fighting it cuz yknw its a hard fight its an elder dragon, but i will say like the MUSIC? thats one of the things like. when we fought megan in the forest, they gave us battle music and THAT is why i kicked ass and abandoned all my fear, monster hunter instincts kicked in and i tanked alright like it was NOTHING, battle music just hits different

vaal hazak theme is so fucking good!!!! "keeper of hades" ARE YOU INSANE? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND????? i cant believe this shit!!!!!!!!

youtube

monster hunter stop being the coolest franchise ever challenge KSFJSF

i did do vaal hazak fight with no music before cuz i was trying to see and. THE MUSIC DOES SO MUCH? literally there was like no adrenaline without the music it was just. :| oh. im in the vale. thats the dragon. hes gonna breath attack. okay LIKE IT WAS SO LACK LUSTER IT WAS INSANE

i never realized how much the music did for fights but its so.. vital bro like it gets you in the fighting mood it compliments the monster and the area its !!!GRAAAAHHHH

monster hunter soundtrack is literally so fucking good. BANGERS back to back literally every song is so fucking cracked its epic

dont even get me STARTED on "proof of a hero" that song makes me stim so fucking hard man it makes me feel so fucking good. my sibling made his ringtone for me that song and AUGHHH crying sobbing

like yeah this is proof that im a hero!!! literally makes me feel so proud and FOR WHATTTT

idk im such a firm believer in the importance of sound design, sound design is EVERYTHINGGG and MH does such a good job with that shit, the monster roars and environmental ambience, audio cues to what attack is gonna happen, the music its all. perfect 10/10 godtier shit

anyways this is my monster hunter ramble, it most likely will happen again. love this game with all my heart

#monster hunter #MHW #MH #monster hunter world #another love letter to this game #even tho ive written like 50 things like this in other places #JUST AS LONG TOO SFKJSF #Youtube

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kath-artic · 5 months

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more weird dreams

it's starting to fade now because i've waited too long to start writing it down, but i do remember some vague fragments. there was some scene at the beginning where i was being made to get into bed with a much older man and his wife but i was also disguised as his wife i think? but he kept touching me and i could tell he was naked under the covers and the other woman in the bed was gonna get up to go to the bathroom and leave us alone and i begged her to let me go with her and spent the whole night in the hallways outside the bathroom (also worth mentioning the bedroom was my parents room in my childhood home and the bathroom was placed in the exact way it was in my childhood home)

and then i was wandering in the snow down empty new jersey highways i've been lost on in other dreams (the port city i often dream about also made an appearance but i cant remember the context) and came to my high school except it looked different. i dont remember how he got there, but i wound up running into my first ex (the one who assaulted me) and he was the version of him i knew before we dated. he was funny and charming and after everything that had happened in the last part of the dream, i needed that comfort. he was so kind to me this time and i remember us walking outside together and him packing a snowball to throw at me and i stopped short and said "my mom cant see us together" because i knew her car was parked nearby and she was waiting to pick me up. he asked why not and i couldnt bring myself to say "because she knows you raped me" because i was so afraid of breaking the illusion that he was a good person.

then there was a third chapter where i was staying w my friend who i stay w a lot in real life except she lived in a big modern house instead of a college dorm and the whole front face of the house was windows and i was playing a lot of bg3 and looking out at the snow unsure of where anyone was. and her and her roommates kept phasing in and out and they were getting ready for some dress up event and i was just gonna be alone in the house and i started flashing through to another dream where i was in canada w my grandparents staying in a big treehouse in the woods and exploring a nearby swamp (neither of which exist on their property in real life lol) and i knew there were faries out there. i flashed back into the house dream and i had to pack to go home but as i started packing it quickly became my childhood bedroom and i was packing up my toys and i look outside into the snow and feel so so alone.

the whole dream felt so lonely and empty. like everybody was getting blown away with the snow. something in there about tainted memories. and the part with my ex is so particularly strange because i was trying to find him the other day to see if he's still alive and okay. despite everything he ever did ive always found it hard to think of him as a bad person and some part of me will always care about him because he used to be such a dear friend of mine. and even though i know i shouldnt i can sometimes justify what he did to me, i just know i probably wasnt the only one

i think the thing that really gets me is that i ran to him after my friend who was like a brother to me passed away from an overdose because i never got to articulate how much i loved him and i needed to give that love to somebody. and then he developed a drug problem. and its like he did so many horrible things to me but some part of me still wants to save him. weird.

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kaleidosouls · 9 months

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hi. (pulls out uke)

IM JOKING but i havent posted here in forever huh, are ppl still around? i guess ill comment on like, whats been going in in the time i havent posted

so a long time ago now i wanted to like, cut off from twitter, so i deleted the kaleidosouls twitter, and wanted to keep my art stuff just on insta mostly, trying to move since twitter is a sinking ship right. then my instagram got deleted for no reason (and so did my pinterest that was ful of refs and honestly that was more upseting than insta getting deletedand losing all my art following)

ive been mildly caught up in IRL/college stuff in the meantime,having da depression, and the exec dysfunction same as awlays like. not much has actually been happening but ive been going acutally all over the place trying to figure out what im gonna do with my internet social media stuff. im looking into internships (other field) and im like, i havent given up being an artist professionally exactly but i think im like fuck it. fuck this like, building my Internet career or whatever. like, im gona wokr on my art portfolio and try to find art job stuf thats not really about how popular my art is on twitter or smth. none of that shit rly matters anymoer. same w here, i probably wouldve delted this tumblr if it wasnt the main like, blog so all my other blogs dpened on this one right.

im not like, done posting art online but ive been changing how im going about it and i still havent found my like, place yet. i did remake instagram, a main one and one for creature/pokemon stuff. idk im figuring out my life but i guess the main point is that its all a mess, and its not a disaster like things are going bad or anythin just that ive been in this inertia of disorder for a long time. im getting old. really tired lately, barely draw that much

i still rly love and am holding onto my personal ideas/projects that i want to execute oveer time altho they cant be a priority rn becuase of stuff in life. i got a really bad attention span so ill probably like, work on smth a lot for a few ays and then pick it up again in a year or more. the SU stuff is one of those. i actually ammaking this post bc i got really fucking dickhead comments and i was thinking of going off but my social media paranoia PR brain is like weighting on how i cant do that bc itll make my brand look bad and immature, and its like exhausting to live like that yk. altho it Is wise to restrain myself from being mean dsgkj but i also think itd be funny to cuss ppl off so :( life is very hard as an adult!

anyway point is. thigns are a mess rn and they will continue to be for the time being. my accoutns got obliterated so if you wanna keep up with me maybe follow my instagram if you want, i keep forgetting tumblr exists so tahst why i post so little on here. i do like postingt here though, nad i like making little blogs. i like ppls tags on ym art and replies. even the pricky ones like, i get to engage my brain a litlte bit adn its like ppl are out there yk? seieng my stuff, rather than just like, a bunch of numbers of how many likes or reblogs smth has.

most of the stuff left on this blog is for SU reclaimed and i still rly like the idea and its good coping for me and i want to pick it up sometimes but idk what to do with it wrt how i wanna present the content. ive considerd many times making a separate tumblr for it and i am considering that Again but maybe i should just quit it and post it here and forget about that. and find a different way to present the totality of the contents of the AU and use this tumblr as a way to just post it like, a 'devblog' (i am not developing SHIT this is just conceptual design writing stuff)

if theres anyone still following thats like engaged/interested in SU reclaimed feel free to comment with your thoughts or suggestions,i guess i could make an instagram for it? but ehh... idt thats how i wanna like, execute it. welp. i guess if i do make smth ill post about it here,i guess the point is that maybe i can try to post on here moreoften, idk, like i want my instagrams to be more tidy and like, impersonal. i deleted twitter bc i dont want to engage that personalyl at ALL anymore as an artist w viewers. not to mention it sinking. but i guess tumblr Is the perfect place to keep that unprofessional, slightly casual blogging artist experience. maybe if i get to cuss ppl out :D but then i dont wanna get harassed later over it. hm.. sucks to exist online tbh

thank u if youve read this far. if youre a mutual (somehow) or a long time follower and wanna know how to better keep up w me since i know im disappearing a lot feel free to dm

#personal #just how ive been/thougths/rambling

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rainfallbeats · 2 years

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IDK HOW EDIBLES WORK OK

*slaps my hands on the table* thats ok because i do!

this post ended up being multiple paragraphs long and contains a lot of personal stories so if youre still interested its under the cut. tw for drug use obviously

now granted i havent had that many of them and the only kind ive had were these cookies my brother made but good LORD. sweet JESUS they were strong. like STUPID strong. i remember he prefaced giving me them with "i ate one and thought i was a little worm wiggling in the dirt" and i was like ok i think i can handle it

i could not handle it. strong edibles will slonk your shit silly style. theyre a bit different than smoking because it kinda all kicks in at once, smoking is usually a milder high unless its like a bong rip. i remember one time it kicked in and i could barely get the words "guys i think the edible hit" out before breaking into a 10 minute laughing fit. i was on another plane i was shot up to the moon

and again these were particularly strong ones it really just depends on the strain of weed and the dosage, but some of the effects ive experienced are as follows:

everything is funny. like everything ever is funny. i will just laugh for any reason if im high enough, you could jangle keys in front of my face and id start cry laughing. weed kind of just makes you stupid like that. ive noticed it helps with the adhd too because ill finally have the patience to sit down and watch things or do tasks without getting irritated

pain numbing/weird funny skin feeling. ive noticed that i usually feel warm when the weed kicks in and thats usually followed by like a tingly feeling and a reduced ability to feel pain. this is nice bc im an idiot who gave myself back pain from sitting weird so this makes it go away. probably not anywhere near as effective for that purpose as pain meds but ive never been on any prescription pain meds or anything that wasnt like, ibuprofen so i dont know

food tastes really fucking good. ive considered going back on my adhd meds with recreational weed bc the meds were an appetite suppressant and thats why i had to stop taking them. weed will make you hungry as FUCK and everything you eat will taste better

lower impulse control, this one is kind of a bad side effect because if you were already thinking about doing stupid shit and you get high then youre gonna do it. one time i was on call with a friend and kept chewing on my fingers til they were bruised bc i wanted to chew on something

slowed perception of time/distorted perception of reality. this one is either scary or cool depending on the person but i find it enjoyable. time will slow DOWN like minutes will feel like hours. every splatoon match i play while high is the longest one of my life, and ive found i usually perform better in games because im less stressed and more just absorbed in what im doing. that combined with the fact that my brain blurs the line between whats real and fake so if im playing a game itll feel real to me. i will be staring at the inside of the grizzco building and feel like im actually there, its crazy. playing video games while high is fun

ive noticed that if i get too high i kinda feel dizzy and not in control of my body, my head feels like its underwater and ill be sitting there rocking back and forth waiting to come down a little. which would be scarier but thanks to the funny giggly chemicals its not that bad. but its also not pleasant when youre in a social situation and want to try to act normal

im not actually sure what me dumping all this info accomplishes but maybe someone will see it and itll help them write a character that smokes weed or something. and like granted these are only my own experiences and not everyone is gonna share them but regardless, thank you for the ask

#personal post #weed #ask box

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pianostarinwonderland · 2 years

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ive seen ch3 ever since its release in jp and i happen to like it (for octatrio and other reasons) so i kept watching it

azuls breakdown always made me feel so much but even now

playing through it in eng by myself i literally started crying when i saw it

perhaps it was the way his voice wavered or that i can really relate recently or that scream (atsushi tamarus so talented istg)

but i just cant help but sympathize and lrkefgkjfkdlwk sorry for ranting like this ig im just oh my god

I had to sit on these asks because I have so many words about chapter 3 and Azul's breakdown.

First of all, I'm with you guys on the "cried because of book 3". Don't be sorry for ranting to me because fuck, I can relate with this deeply. Now, I won't say I cried cried. My eyes were dry the entire time, but every time I go through that particular scene, I always feel like I can't speak afterwards or else you'll hear the tears in my voice. And it did happen actually. One time, I read chapter 3 with friends through Shel's videos, and after Azul's breakdown, when I talked, my voice was broken. My eyes were dry, but my voice was shaking. Whenever I have to read or get a screenshot from that scene, I always have to mute my phone because otherwise, I would actually get stressed. XD

So the reason why I have so many words about this is because it managed to break my heart in a way that nothing else has. I've experienced heartbreak, and I've felt hurt very often in my life. And usually, it has to be something or someone that I hold close to me that would be able to make me hurt or break. Even when watching a movie or reading a book, I need to have developed a liking to someone to feel the pain of seeing them at their lowest. What's more is that I really don't cry. It takes so much to get me to cry.

Back when Octavinelle chapter's final part came out in JP, I didn't hold an attachment or any sort of liking to Azul at all. Heck, in fact, I wanted to see how he would be defeated because I wanted him to be defeated at his own game. I just thought, "Oh, I don't think he hurt me. Leona's emotional scene was meh, and as much as I respect Hanae, Riddle's crying made me want to laugh."

I was wrong. Dead wrong.

The fandom loves to meme "MOU YADDA", and it's really funny to see. 😂 No matter what language people speak, everyone gets amused by his scream, and it's beautiful. But I would be a liar if I said that that same scream was not what caused my heart to break. And I almost cried, damn it. I didn't like Azul then, so why did I want to cry? There was something in that scream, something in the way that he broke down, that made me angry at Leona, made me wish Azul didn't have to go through that, that made me want to clutch my chest as my tears finally pour out of my eyes and my voice goes hoarse from sobbing. When translations came out the day after Octavinelle concluded, reading the text was no less painful. The whole time, I was just saying, "Please God, please make it stop. Please make this stop." I do admit that I said that partly because I like being dramatic, but I also know that there was a reason why that was the first thing I wanted to say.

Frankly, my unique reaction to Azul's breakdown really got me to think about why. Why did I feel that way? And eventually, I realized. Without going personal, I realized that it was through that scene that Azul managed to reach into the inner child of myself that was still hurting from certain wounds. Azul didn't break me—I was already broken. But he just showed me the cracks and bruises that I long forgotten, that I long hid away from myself. It was like that inner child was crying, yet nobody heard them until Azul did, found them, and comforted them. It's really funny, Azul isn't real, and yet, without realizing, he granted some of my deepest wishes. 😂

I think that's what I find amazing about Azul. A lot of people can relate to him: the bullying, the discrimination, so many other things. It's not to say that I haven't heard others say, "Oh I relate to him." when they talk about the other OB boys or what. But for some reason, or maybe it's because I know way too many Octavinelle stans XD, when talking about Azul's backstory, people will almost always say that they relate to him, or if not, his backstory stirred something in them. Call it love, embarrassment, dislike, but damn, he made people feel something. And it's what I always love to hear whenever people discuss Azul and his breakdown in chapter 3.

#twisted wonderland #twst #azul ashengrotto #ask

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iheartmisty · 1 year

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“she has everything” is probably what people think when they look at me.

look at me. I have cute & perfect outfits. i wear short shorts and try hard, brushed hair, glasses, great manners, im kind, helpful, smart, and caring. I put others first. I’m shy. I’m quiet, but observant. i’m a deep thinker. I’m in all honors classes. I’m incredible at art. I write beautiful poetry. I’m a great singer. I play guitar and piano. some might even say im pretty. I have a roof over my head, food, and money to buy whatever I’d like.

does that diminish everything I’ve been through?

how about you see me instead. listen to my real story. when I was little, I had a friend group of five. we all loved the same music, the same colours, our parents were best friends. it was perfect. ooooh but I guess we all grew up now, cause I’m left here loving them and wanting them and they’re here giving excuses to not see me. then I moved. went to a new school, met some new people. thought everybody was my friend; and everybody loved me because I was nice to them. turns out, im just stupid and clueless and people aren’t what they seem to be. I got my heart broken, twice. and it hurt a lot more than it should’ve because they both were not very nice people. they were manipulators, and haters, and apparently bullies too. I thought I was brave for confessing. twice. after covid, none of my hundreds of friends even texted back. I guess we weren’t friends. my good friends never asked me to hang out, and were somehow always busy. I got framed, cyberbullied, harassed online, rumors spread. and this didn’t happen once, but at least like 10 times. my friends didn’t care. they just left. they left me there. they added fire to the flames. now im left with attachment issues and the fear of abandonment. [insert most preposterous thing I would never do that makes 0 sense]. then I get bullied for that? oh then I tried to ask my best friend to defend me, please, and she was like “ur making my mental health worse” “im suicidal now” and starts getting her friends to bully me more and curse at me for quote on quote, “ruining her life”. I’m sorry that I wasted my time trying to help her and her relationship. I’m sorry I spent so much time on her when she did that to me. its so unfair that she gets to be posting about it and gets people wishing her and supporting her when I never got support when I was doing the same. I was bullied more if someone ever found out. i hated myself more and more. I cut myself more and more. no one noticed. no one cared. my grades slipped.

I think that’s really funny cause first of all, she lied, second of all, I love how she gets all the support in the world for her fake story of a paper cut and I was out there bleeding to death from stab wounds that would never ever heal. but its whatever. then, another one of my best friends comes over, body shames me, calls me ugly and calls me out for every single thing and made me feel more insecure than ever, and then walks out after telling people that im the one who body shamed her. oh im oh so sorry for defending you while you were getting bullied, but this is my return gift, thank you? now I cant run away from my anxiety or anxiety attacks and I’m still alone. i wish I wasn’t. I wish someone understood. I’m really not who you think I am. my friend once told me that the way i dress would give off the impression that im a “popular girl”. that I’m materialistic. that I’m shallow, and cold-hearted. maybe thats the girl ive been trying to portray. im really not materialistic, or shallow, or cold-hearted. im the opposite. maybe ive been trying to hide away and blend in the shadows. maybe ive been trying to pretend like im a pretty girl. I havent ever told anybody that. maybe part of me wishes karma would get it over with already, because they all seem to be doing better than me. I think being a good person doesn’t have many rewards, unless you keep doing it, even through this. and I will, because thats just who I am.

now lets see more about me. things someone could maybe actually love. uhh, the way i always give others the bigger half. or the cup with more water. the way I’m always smiling or maybe my favourite songs. maybe a poem I wrote about someone I love. im my favorite quotes and the colour of my room and the movies I watch. and I found people who love me for all of the above. the first impressions. the dark parts. the beautiful ones. and I hope to never let them go. i hope to never let myself go.

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corkisms · 2 years

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Dude I am super excited to read about Eldritch Duke and Eldritch Bain’s backstory!!

im soo mad i had such a comprehensive answer to this post and tumblr ATE IT so now i gotta rewrite the whole thing from memory. hell on earth :[

alright i CANNOT take credit for eldritch bain thats @des-paa-cee-toeee BABYY!!! eldritch duke came about on a whim before i knew abt despaa’s take on eldritch bain but it was soooo fun learning abt this bain and throwing ideas at the wall (discord dms) to see what stuck (exploded in the microwave). i cant speak to bain's origins bc im still learning them myself but ive got some eldritch duke facts down. readmore placed below to contain the brainspill ^_^ (and it really is one hell of a brainspill like it got way longer than i intended so sorry in advance😭)

right so dukes a university student in the late 60s/early 70s(?)

hes taking part in an archaeology project with one of his classmates in a forest near his uni (studying bone fragments, arrowheads, just collecting random samples) and keeping audio logs of the whole project

his classmate strays too far and messes around in a bunch of forestbeings' turf

the beings retaliate by possessing/driving the classmate mad

classmate offs duke via rock crimes (fly high babe) and duke gets to spend some time getting acquainted with the spirits in the trees

one of the forestbeings decides that that was kinda fucked up in hindsight and takes pity on duke, searing life and consciousness back into his broken body and resurrecting him from the mud as a nothuman trapped in a mostly mortal vessel (you work with what ya got)

this process might take a while but idk if itll make up the 20 yr gap in his lifespan yet (give that hes 20ish in the 70s and shows up in pd2 in 2017 as a 50 yr old and not a 70 yr old)

i just think hes neat!

tbh idk how i actually feel abt writing this duke au given that i think im also writing some other stuff rn but i looove gnawing on it when im spaced out during class its like my screensaver. i actually started a little smthg as a sort of taste-test for this au where its a police report on the case of duke's initial disappearance in the 70s, documenting the weird facts from an in-universe after-the-fact pov (i am such a sucker for dramatic irony its not funny) and working through the story in the form of aforementioned audio logs. pasting the scraps below

Friends initially report 20-year-old August Lindenhurst missing on August 18th, 1968.

Over summer break, Lindenhurst had been taking part in a month-long personal project proposed by 19-year-old Gillian 'Gill' Dorsey, both students at Dennington University. Classmates became concerned when the project's allotted time period ended and Lindenhurst had still not returned to campus. He and Dorsey were last seen entering the forest behind the main building (see map in addendum 2A) with bags one month prior. Investigators organized search teams, which found their equipment still intact in a makeshift bell tent approximately 1.8 miles from campus, and CSI later noted that the project seemed largely archaeological in nature. Around the same time the tent was discovered, a welfare check conducted on Dorsey's dorm discovered her partially decomposed body still in bed (Dorsey case filed separately, though it shares many unusual circumstances with this one).

CSI recovered a collection of microtapes from the tent in the forest, dated throughout the month as audio logs leading up to Lindenhurst's disappearance. Detective Greene was able to transcribe a majority of the logs’ content despite questionable integrity following recent storms. Following analysis of the tapes, the Lindenhurst case was changed from missing persons to homicide. Transcripts deemed relevant to the case are attached below (transcripts for the rest of the tapes available in addendum 2F).

and then the transcript of the first tape starts! from there the rest of the story plays out over multiple tapes as duke n his classmate (using gill dorsey as a placeholder name for no reason in particular) pick through tiny buried oddities over the course of about a month. all the while we see signs that theres Something In These Woods thrown in (discussing strange dreams in passing, unidentified voices heard on tape, odd changes in behavior seen in casual conversation, etc) leading up to the discovery of The Final Tape later on in the case, recorded on the day the project was supposed to end

The original recorder was recovered in a clearing approx. 600 feet from the tent. Clear signs of a fight present in surroundings (see addendum 3A-3G). Blood at the scene matched with Lindenhurst. The recorder still contained the most recent (presumably final) microtape inside. Det. Greene reassigned for transcription.

and then we get into the nitty gritty of the day of the attack. the report basically concludes with “well that was fucked up” given that lindenhurst’s killer classmate is also dead under mysterious circumstances (found in bed with their mouth and lungs all full of dirt, more thoughts on that but this post is more than long enough rn) so theres kinda. no one to prosecute. the story itself ends with the whole case file being completely wiped by bain, revealing that we were just reading the report along with him the entire time as part of a background check on duke. hes troubled by the implications to say the least, like sorry man you found more than you bargained for in this funky crime grandpa!! the whole ‘coming back nothuman’ thing isnt super covered in this version of the story bc it is still just a police report and obvs cant have ALL the details but that does still happen

thoughts n suggestions n corrections welcome i love having thoughts and making words i love it to bloody pieces. i love kneading ideas in my brain like dough. also ty for reading this far mwah 😭 😭 😭

#nonpd2 mutuals if u see this NO tf u dont. im sorryfhrjrgjg #this is the first time ive ever posted fandom writing anywhere and it might just be the most embarrassing thing ive ever done #i keep telling myself 'do not start a writing blog babygirl thats the devil talking' but it gets harder every day... the ultimate temptation #the way this is a mile long in my post editor has me running and hiding like i genuinely cannot stfu abt this old man. im squeezing him #SORRY IM SO SORRY IM BOWING DOWN WITH MY FOREHEAD ON THE GROUND AND CONTINUOUSLY POURING DIRT OVER MY HEAD AS PPL WALK PAST IM SORRY #normal content will return eventually i promise im just. so soooo im srsly going thru it #AND TY despaaceetoeee for the submission TY for the lore TY for the encouragement i owe you EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

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many-but-one · 2 years

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hi system question!! it’s like the different names I have feel like completely different people and I suddenly feel like “well I’m (name) now I should go by name bc now I’m him again I am name” like. one name has its own personality, body/features, species, aesthetic, likes, pronouns, etc. and the other is very different in those ways. so Ive called these alters bc well they seem to be different people when u look at them. and different people use different names. and it’s not rlly me using the names just for fun as names but bc they feel like people and those are their names. but idk how to be sure that I’m not just forcing myself to be them or making up ocs/personas/etc. as far as I’m aware singlets don’t have this kind of situation with names unless they are purposefully forcing another persona for some reason like as a thing online or with a new person they meet .. but isn’t that what alters and switching Feels like… feeling like another person who uses another name?…if not then what bc when u feel like different people and each people use different names then ? plus when u also have trauma and dissociation and possible amnesia if amnesia counts as your memories feeling faded/void and not remembering lasts weeks/months and feeling like earlier in the day is far away and didn’t happen.. yet not recalling switching during those times where u don’t remember . is this what alters feel like?

Hello anon! This is Jules!

I first want to preface that I am not a professional so I am not going to definitively say "Yes! You have alters!" Because I don't know you at all and I am not your therapist. I am going to share my experiences and experiences of other systems I've talked to to try and help you get an idea of what having alters feels like. Just know that DID can be difficult to nail down, and many other disorders can be mistaken for DID, which is why it often takes so long for DID systems to receive a diagnosis. (Many systems spend many years in the psychiatric system being misdiagnosed with stuff that presents similarly to untreated DID.)

For me, Jules, having alters in the beginning (before I knew as many as I know today) felt very strange. I had very little communication, and even though they had always been present, I never really understood that they were there. Because all of the memories I've ever had have included them. (Well, most of them.) For example, I learned that our gatekeeper was co-con with me for a large part of my college career, literally ALL THE TIME. It was during this time I was certain I was a trans man because I felt male all the time and had extreme body dysphoria. Well, James is a cis male and gets body dysphoria because we are AFAB. However, James kept high walls between me and everyone else so I had no idea that they existed. Any voices that leaked out I just assumed was my inner thoughts. Which led to some funny "wait, why would I think that?" moments all throughout my life that I remember very vividly. In my freshman year of college things were absolutely crazy internally because I was starting to catch on that something fishy was happening. Stuff started coming out and I heard voices a lot and sometimes felt like I wasn't myself. Actually, a lot of the time I felt like I wasn't myself. I don't know how to perfectly put it into words, but basically things I enjoyed normally I found boring or I liked foods I normally wouldn't, or I acted very erratic and different from my normal demeanor. My mother says she noticed this and didn't really know what to do. She mentioned (when I told her I had DID a few months ago) that I would sometimes have extreme amnesia for things that she was sure I would know (like what we did yesterday, something big like a party) or just full-on act very aggressive and out of character. She recalled I also talked about how I always felt like I was dreaming and had a hard time distinguishing dreams from reality. She said there were multiple occasions where she would come into my room or a back area of our house and just see me staring off into space. She would try to get my attention and I would respond, but very distantly, like I wasn't really hearing her. I have no memory of these events. I told her that I was likely dissociating.

Once I understood alters existed in my fifth year of college and James started leaving front more often to work on other things internally, I started to recognize when he wasn't there. And when he was I could "feel" his presence, even if he wasn't speaking. Almost like having an aura or a vibe. It was incredibly comforting to me. He had always been there, since the very very beginning and had always protected me and everyone else. Of course he was comforting! Though, he was definitely quite cold and harsh at times, as he was very adamant in making sure I was not aware of trauma memories.

Nowadays that I am finally and truly accepting that the disorder exists and now have counted (I think???) about 29ish alters and fragments, things are much more fluid and it's easier to tell "oh, Foster is near front, he's starting to blend with me which means he might front soon." There is a lot less amnesia for us nowadays too because I am almost always co-con or at least semi-aware of what's going on in front. It's taken over a year of specialized DID therapy to get this far. My DID therapy is moving very quickly, which came from a lot of working on communication outside of therapy and taking breaks when necessary. (Going mach speed through DID therapy is not advised...I learned that the hard way.) Since more trauma has come out recently, things have been slowing down a lot...which I prefer, honestly. Slow and steady wins the race. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

So yeah, the feeling that someone else is fronting soon or feeling their presence seems to be normal. I can say "Pain is co-con and Foster is around/nearby" and that would make sense in a DID context.

However, other symptoms of DID are necessary, which you have mentioned. Such as amnesia for life occurrences, amnesia for trauma, etc. I've heard OSDD systems have less amnesia but can still have it, but perhaps not as much blackouts as DID folks have. And parts in OSDD-1b can be defined, but I heard more passive type switches are more common, as in "becoming" someone else rather than a "hard switch" that would happen in folks with DID who suffer from amnesia. I am not an expert in OSDD (or DID, I just happen to have the latter and have worked with specialist and asked a lot of questions in that time.) so if someone has more info (preferably with sources if you can because OSDD is VERY misunderstood in the system community and I want you to receive correct information) please feel free to contribute.

I think if you believe you have trauma, experience amnesia and dissociation to some degree, and feel like you have different self-states that take control of the body in some way (even if it's not physical control, such as being co-con and liking things you wouldn't normally like or acting strange when you are still in control because of passive influence) then there's a possibility that DID/OSDD could be involved. However, other disorders can present similarly to DID like I already mentioned, which is a big reason why DID takes so long to diagnose. If I were you, I would do a lot more research regarding the subject and not only ask me, a random Tumblr system that doesn't know you. XD I am happy to educate, but I am not going to diagnose. Even if I was a licensed therapist I would not be able to do so because I really don't know enough about your situation.

Depending on your view of syscourse, there are some really great blogs that provide fantastic information about DID. Here they are:

@justanothersyscourse

@constellation-of-us

@foreverfragmented (this blog as a Google Drive full of DID/OSDD information in their pinned post which is fantastic.)

There used to be a blog called anti-endo-agony-auncles and I know they changed their url but I cannot for the life of me remember it so anyone knows it please tell me. They are also a fantastic resource.

This blog talks about DID recovery without psychiatry, which is badass if it works for you:

@holywheel

For support and positivity for trauma survivors (not just DID systems):

@traumasurvivors

Just know that some of these blogs require you to be an adult, and they are anti-endo. A fantastic system that is unaligned in syscourse is @circulars-reasoning. Though they seem to focus more on the syscourse side of things, which I don't recommend early on in trying to figure out what's going on with you. I made that mistake and, similarly to circulars-reasoning, was involved in the endo community for a while which only proved to confuse me more. Because I didn't believe I had trauma, but was experiencing DID symptoms regardless.

ALSO do not expect to get a diagnosis out of any of these blogs either, as you should not be trying to get a diagnosis from someone on Tumblr. However, these folks have good information that might help clear some things up. Overall, you should do research from scholarly sources, they are available as pdfs basically everywhere nowadays.

Good luck, stay safe, and be well.

Peace!

-Jules

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bunnypopgal · 3 months

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Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

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okay-j-hannah · 3 months

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Hii hannah!! It's me, the mysterious anon and I'm officially done with not just my exams but highschool! I got my results back few days ago and im surprised i almost got all As because during the last three exams I was literally reading will turner and lotr fanfictions more than my textbooks lmao 😭

And can I just say you're so so sweet and ilysm !!! tysm for accepting my request, can't wait to see how you are gonna write them! although, do remember to write it with your own pace, you don't have to feel obligated to finish it and post it asap (and this goes to all the requests you've gotten) we know you're a human being too with your own things in your daily life and ofc we acknowledge and respect that, that's the least we can do when you actually take time out of your life and accept to write our requests <333

I know I said it in the last ask I sent you but thank you so so much for accidently introducing me to will turner, remember how I fell down the rabbit hole? it seems i am still falling, but now in another rabbit hole named lord of the rings; yes I joined the lotr fandom! i was lookin for more orlando bloom movies and found out he played legolas and I started the series just for him lol,, really though the lotr universe is so beautiful!! ive always loved fantasy universes but was too lazy to actually start something classic like lotr but now that i've done it im feeling the hyperfixation literally running through my veins!! I ordered silmarillion and im like this close to ordering all the books in Tolkien legendarium even though im nearly broke lmao. and my bi ass is in love with everyone, especially the elves, came just for legolas but staying for all the tolkien elves and faramir, eowyn, sam and aragorn 😭 really though, I have barely read silmarillion yet i am in love with elves like ecthelion and glorfindel too 😭

i can't wait read more of your lotr work, so far, I've only read haldir fic (it was so cute!) and hobbit/doctor who one and im in love with that one!! i spend so much of my time thinking what if I were to accidently end up in my current hyperfixation universe. will I survive actually? Will I even be able to make eye contact with my comfort characters, or speak to them? unless somehow I get some kind of superpowers or immortality, i would likely die in the first fifteen minutes for sure haha. can't wait to read the second part of that story and how doctor fits into the story! Also mgime trope is actually so fun to read! after this one, I went to ao3 for more and im so in love with this trope im thinking about writing one myself!

Just realising, It's funny thing, joining new fandom tbh ; i remember scrolling through your page in March and i had no idea who any of the lotr characters or potc characters were but now im in love with the lotr&potc universe and its all i can think about. do you mind, if i ask you how do you balance fandoms thing? you're in so many fandoms and i always wonder how you love them/give them time equally even after having so many other fandoms. in recent years I've joined many fandoms but every time I join a new one, i start loving the new one so much i completely stop even thinking bout the old one. and it's incredibly silly i know but I feel like I'm betraying/cheating my old fandom and my comfort characters in a way by hyperfixating on whatever my current fandom is.

Speaking of hyperfixations, also so so excited for David tennant in the 60th specials!! And donna n wilf!! I too will have to finish 13's episodes before November though. btw did you see the bts pictures of 15 and the new companion Ruby? It seems like we're gonna get good history episodes with the new doctor !!

Oh also!! It's been officially a year since I started reading your fics! And today 29 May actually marks the day(technically night ig) I read the last parts of dying girl series. I still remember that day, I had finished watching stranger things' then new episodes, I was already crying because of The max and vecna episode and I decided to torture myself more by reading the series and cried more lmao.

Ahh cant believe its been a year, i remember being anxious to send you my request and all those asks and now I am actually talking to you! I am so glad I decided to check out your blog last May, one of the best decision ive made! If it werent for you, i probably would've never further watched doctor who, or started potc and lotr/hobbit series and just Tolkien's work tbh. Ik I've said it a lot of times but really though, thank you so much for introducing me to all these movies, shows, books and ofc, your writing. I've loved every single second I've spent on your blog and while watching these tv and movie series, idk how to exactly word this because english isn't my first language, but the time spent on your blog and while watching the shows/movies really is best time I've spent in my boring life, I've felt more alive doing that than I actually had while living my "life".

Oh and I'm glad you had fun writing my domestic fic request! I would also love to read about the reader and doctors' in between adventures, hope you write about it and honestly, I'd love to read whatever you write, even if it isn't full fics, just random stuff like headcanons or draft ideas you had! And I would request bout it but I've already requested two fics and honestly, my brain feels too disconnected from the fic to give you ideas kinda stuff for the fic. I guess, its time to reread the series ; I hope I can get through it this time without crying though 😭

I still haven't finished watching all the potc movies, only two or three because I got into lotr, but more will turner content from you? So excited!! And yeah It is surprising that I haven't watched the movies because they are classic! but they actually came out before I was born/when I was really young so I didn't get to watch them at that time, plus movies, especially from outside my country weren't as accessible so my brain focused on what I had, the barbie and disney movies and tv cartoons.

Sometimes I honestly can't believe that all the movies/TV series I'm hyperfixating over came out so long ago and that I am watching and obsessing over them after like 15-20 years, that really is a lot of time! but tbh, I feel like this is how it was meant to be, yknow? I was meant to love these movies and characters rn, because maybe I needed them now more than I did back then. And as I said, I was barely a kid and didn't even speak English language, even if I did get to watch all the movies I don't think I'd even understand them lol.

Oh and I too love the pen pal things we have going, it's fun, isn't it? Really sorry for replying months late though, i wanted to write earlier but I have executive dysfunction so it's really hard to do even the simplest of things😭 next time i'll try not to be months late lol.

I just realised I wrote a lot lol, Thank you for reading the whole rambling, I hope the whole thing doesn't seem too diorganised to read . And yeah, Bye! hope you have good day/night or whatever time of the day you're reading this at<333

Hello mysterious anon!

I think our trend will now be just randomly replying to each other every few months because 100% we both have busy lives.

I feel weirdly proud to have instigated some of your new fandom hyperfixations, I am so obsessed with too many. It is really hard to spread all my love/attention to so many.

I think I look at it like phases. I will always return to my old loves, but depending on my mood or phase in life I'm drawn to a certain fandom. I started rewatching Criminal Minds a while ago and got so reinvested in the show that I started writing a series with Spencer Reid {it's like 21k words right now and I haven't decided if I'm posting it or not}

And I started watching The Crown, so I've fully entered another time period phase and I want to watch all things Jane Austen. I read Sense and Sensibility recently because of it. I think I'm going to watch Little House on the Prairie for the time period drama. I might watch Poldark or Outlander or Vikings for the same reason.

I agree it's hard to move on to another fandom when you feel you're neglecting the others. I try to refresh my brain of my old favorites, like I remember the day I mixed up Death Eaters and Dementors and I felt so ashamed that I reread the whole Harry Potter series just to remind myself.

I guess I just do my best to acknowledge all of them and then be patient when I'm fixating on only one in particular. I find a balance when I'm writing fics about them because I'll rewatch something so I can get a feel for the characters before I write about them. But sometimes it is hard to write a request for a character that I am not currently obsessed with.

I'm glad you passed your classes and are hopefully moving on to bigger and better things {I know you are fandom wise}. I haven't been writing much the last year, but I do still check my activity frequently. We'll see what and when I'll decide to post next.

But for now, I wish you luck in life and hopefully the comfort you'll get from your new potc and lotr friends will get you through some of the tough times.

💜 Hannah

#okay j hannah #okayjhannah #fandomfantasia #hannahbeartalks #okayjhannah answer #okayjhannah question #anon ask okay j hannah

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