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#its not my problem i didnt do anything wrong they just dont like me from what i shared about myself and thats fine

wakanai · 8 months

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do you ever get that feeling where you wonder if a person actually hates you? CAUSE as a chronic overthinker, I can say that it absolutely sucks 🤡🤡 like PLS if you dislike me or anything I said or if I make you uncomfortable, just unfollow. I don't care if we're mutuals or anything. LIKE LEGIT I WONT GET MAD I'LL ACTUALLY APPRECIATE YALL FOR BEING REAL TT. and it's not personal so i 100% understand. i unfollow blogs too. PLUS even if you unfollow, as long as i like ur posts ill still keep following you lol. unless you block me which- again, ill understand.

#random ramblings #pookie bear pls #make it clear LOL #saying this because of a friend and im kind of confused #like do you not dislike me or am i just overthinking things?#why are you still following me TT TT TT #if ppl unfollow me after this #im actually going to be relieved because im glad they're honest #overthinking #random overshare but an acc i follow actually blocked me recently #and i think its because of some memes i made as a reblog #like yeah i overshared a lot about myself #then got blocked by this acc #but its actually okay because ik its not personal #its not my problem i didnt do anything wrong they just dont like me from what i shared about myself and thats fine #what gets me is when someone who's been giving hints of disinterest still continues to follow me #like cmmon man PLS be straightforward about it so i can move on already #dont give me false hope lol

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woncherie · 1 year

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hello <33 finally posting part 3. i hope you guys like it!! small reminder that im not a native english speaker i hope i didnt do too many mistakes..

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: afab!reader, no pronouns used, bully!scara, bullying, sub!scara, reader makes him a sub lol, nsfw, mentions of alcohol and drugs, finger sucking, spit play, thigh riding, degradation, blackmail, rimming, pegging, pictures are taken, usage of ma'am a few times, he sucks our dick!! light spanking (please tell me if I missed something)

wc: 4.9k

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

lab reports were handed in in time, protocols werent your problem anymore and you got good grades on papers that you didnt even take a look at. things really changed after the party a few months ago.

you didnt get thrown at with food anymore, no one was there to trip you, your property wasnt destroyed anymore. its as if he completely forgot about your existence. at this point you dont even know if he remembers your face anymore, you havent seen your favourite bully in weeks other than on hallways, but even there he was very quick to choose another path to not see your face.

its been a month since the incidence in the library, and nothing else happened between you. how could anything have happened? he doesnt even look at you anymore.

at first you enjoyed your peace. people started talking to you more, you went to more partys and hangouts and met new people, but after two weeks of silence from scaramouche, you started getting a bit tense too.

you didnt expect him to actually leave you alone. you thought he would be putting up more of a fight than just puss out like a small kid, and no matter how hard it was to admit.. you kinda missed him.

at one point you got so annoyed with his behaviour that you even tried to meet him yourself, bumping into him in the hallway to start a conversation, but all he did was apologize half-assed and then go back on his way, not even taking a glimpse of your face or outfit (which he used to love to make fun of).

you were fed up with him. you cannot believe that after everything that happened between the two of you he can just act like nothing happened, going on with his life without even thinking about you. him ignoring you made you even more mad than when he gave you too much attention.

it was hard to admit, but the indigo haired man never left your thoughts. it wasnt like you two actively talked before, but now all you did was wonder. about him, about how his day was, what he did, how he is feeling.

the irritation was written all over your face, and all that albedo could do was watch from the sidelines. you still didnt tell him what happened, at this point you were so far into this shit you dont even know how to explain anything.

"is everything alright?" he said after a few days, laying on his tummy on the floor of your apartment, your organic chemistry book in front of him, but instead of studying he just put his head on it, using it as a pillow.

"what should be wrong?" you mumbled, scrolling through instagram right next to him on your carpet. your head was at his feet and his at yours, taking a look over to him when he spoke up.

you two ordered some take out and waited impatiently on the delivery before going back to studying. exams were getting closer again.

"you seem to be lost in thoughts the past few three weeks. is everything right between scaramouche and you?" he asked while checking the time on his watch.

"yeah, what should be wr- wait what." your heart dropped for a second and you threw your phone away, sitting up straight. "how did you-" you started.

"oh c'mon." he answered and rolled his eyes. "respect my intelligence. it doesnt take a genius to understand that at least something happened between the two of you."

you looked at him with wide eyes, shame and guilt being written all over your face. "how..??"

"just look at you two and how you act around each other. you two are practically undressing each other with your eyes during the lectures."

you hid your face in the palm of your hands, embarrassed at the whole situation. "i am so so sorry. i shouldve told you." you apologized. "i was just.. scared about your reaction?"

"you should be." he returned, sitting up slowly before looking at you. "i have a lot of things to say about that special relationship. but maybe you should explain what happened before." he gave you the opportunity to explain.

you threw yourself at albedo and hugged him tightly. "oh my god, i need to tell you so much that happened. ok so remember ittos party.."

☆

scaramouche was currently laying in bed, another random women naked next to him. he tried everything, he tried everything, to forget you.

your ugly face followed him in his darkest dreams, your annoying character was running around in his head all the time, and he even caught himself daydreaming about the two of you every once in a while. all the time.

but absolutely nothing was helping him. he thought maybe he just needed to get laid again, to have any random chick pleasure him for the night and he would get back to be his old self, that he was just thinking with his dick the past few weeks, but no. even after sleeping with multiple women who werent even good to begin with, he couldnt get you out of his head.

he was frustrated, so fucking annoyed, that he let it out on everyone who is somewhat close to him. his friends were trying to figure out what or who made him so miserable, but he doesnt talk to anyone of them.

instead of approaching you and talking it out he decided it would be the better idea to just party, smoke and drink his feelings away. after a few days he would forget you and what happened. but thats what he told himself for weeks now.

the women next to him came closer, trying to touch his chest, but he just hissed at her. "do me a favour and fuck off." he didnt even know her name. he didnt care enough to ask. he couldnt even describe what she looked like.

"h..huh?" he heard her gasp next to him, feeling a bit betrayed by his behaviour right now. "did i do someth-"

"fuck off i said." he groaned, using his arm to place it over his eyes. he just hoped that she would leave as quickly as she came, letting him pity himself in peace without anyone chewing his ear off or them expecting that he cares about them.

he didnt care about anyone of them, fuck, he doesnt even know their names, the only name in his head was yours. and he was sick of it.

the girl stood up and grabbed her clothes, leaving the room as she put them on again, and scaramouche let out a deep groan when he heard the front door closing. fucking finally.

he turned around in his bed, laying on his stomach and checking his phone. he was hoping that maybe you would text him again, but you didnt.

he took his pillow and threw it over his head, trying to burry himself in his bed, trying to burry these feelings.

what were you doing right now? were you together with your ugly blonde friend again?

just thinking about albedo makes him wanna throw a few punches around the room. he never cared about that nerd anyway, his victim always being you, but right now? he's exploding just thinking that you spend your precious time with albedo than rather messaging him, or talking to him.

what did you even see in him? he's fucking boring, head constantly hiding between a few books. he probably doesnt even have a personality to begin with.

were you sleeping with him?

after all the things you did to scaramouche, he wouldnt be doubting that you maybe also fucked around with your best friend. the thought of it made him jump out of his bed, throwing his pillow against a wall before heading to the shower.

he was so lovesick, he couldnt even admit how jealous he was. fuck, he misses you. he misses you so much that he set his mind to visit you after showering, even though he tried his best to ignore you. he couldnt do that anymore.

☆

you were laying on your bed, your books and tablet scattered around you. you tried to concentrate on your studies, on how you felt before you started to fuck around with scaramouche, but you only sighed frustratedly. albedo was right. this was all a big mistake.

albedo left some hours ago, giving you some space for yourself to think about the whole situation, but you instead chose to study and ignore the aching pain in your chest.

albedo gave you a whole lecture on how stupid you were, on how you're gonna get your feelings hurt and mind destroyed by scaramouche, and you knew he was right, you really did, but you couldnt help but feel the way you feel right now.

your train of thoughts got interrupted as someone started banging against your door furiously, and you stood up in surprise and hurried to the door, not checking who it was before opening it.

in front of you stood your favourite indigo eyed man, hair messy and very obviously annoyed and irritated. he didnt even ask or say anything, just pushed you away to enter your apartment.

you were surprised to see him here, after ignoring you for weeks and getting out of your way on purpose when it always used to be the other way around.

"i fucking hate you!" he shouted in your face, pacing around in your apartment, trying to find any words.

"chill out for a second, handsome, how did you find my address?" you asked him, closing the door behind him after scaramouche entered your comfy 25 m².

he just rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "ask me something more difficult next time." he quoted his old text messages.

"the fuck you want here anyway?" you answered him annoyed but also somewhat adrenalized. this is the first time you talked again after like 2 weeks? 3 weeks? you couldnt even remember yourself.

"you! i fucking hate you." he yelled again, coming closer to you before using his arms to push you around a bit, getting physical with you. you stumbled a few steps back but caught yourself in time before landing on your ass.

"you just show up in my life and turn everything around without even thinking about me!" he cried out, his own hands finding its way in his hands and pulling on his own hair. "the past few weeks i tried everything to forget you, to forget the way you make me feel, but.. i just cant."

you raised your eyebrows in shock, not expecting a confession like this when he first entered your home furiously. "what do you mean?"

"FUCK. i mean that i cant stop thinking about you. i cant stop thinking about how you touch me. you ruined me for everyone else. no one compares to how you make me feel, and i hate you so much for this." he paced around your small room again, his eyes moving around from you to the floor and to you again, arms moving around everywhere.

he was stressed as hell, and he didnt know why he was here, in front of you, digging his own grave, but there he is, embarrassing himself to his bones.

and all you did was stand in front of him, looking at him with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a fish, trying to find fitting words. you couldnt explain how you were feeling right now, you just knew that you were incredibly happy and relieved.

"say something." scaramouche nearly begged, being frustrated with the whole situation.

he wanted things to go back to normal, to have you under him, doing anything he says without being told twice, to do all uni work and still humiliate you for funsies.

but thinking about going back to that time also hurt him, thinking about how you wouldnt talk to him more than you needed to is something he didnt want.

you slowly stepped up to him again, definitely getting closer to him and his personal space than anyone else dares to do, and you use your finger to lift his chin up, looking at him mockingly.

"now was that so hard to say?" you looked down in him. his face turned red again, trying to ignore your wandering eyes on his face, looking on the floor, eyelashes already a bit wet from shame and embarrassment.

"look at me when im talking to you." you demanded, squishing his cheeks between your fingers again and he looked up to you, breath stammering and gulping.

"is this what you want?" you raised one eyebrow mockingly, the grin on your face getting bigger and bigger.

scaramouche became frustrated with your behaviour again, too embarrassed to admit that yes, he needed this.

instead of answering, he pushed you back again, but followed you, shoving you on your own bed.

your back was pressed to the mattress and scaramouche sat down in your lap, leaning forwards before he pressed his lips on yours aggressively.

you were surprised at how eager he was, but no way would you let him lead and dominate you. this is your job.

you threw off all the books and your tablet from the bed with your arm in one swift motion, and then grabbing scaramouches waist as you change position, rolling on top of him while he is laying underneath you.

he didnt let go of the kiss, of you, his arms wrapped around your neck while your hands press down on the mattress beside each side of his head.

he let out some soft sighs and pants throughout the kiss, occasionally letting out a gasp or muffled moan.

you took the opportunity of you being on top, pressing your ass on his dick and making him moan more often now.

his hands wandered from your neck into your hair, pulling on them desperately as you suck on his tongue. god damn it, he felt fucking amazing.

you started undressing him slowly, breaking the kiss to remove his shirt, your lips on his right afterwards again before he could even take in a breath.

you didnt care though. you waited so long for him, you want to break him apart now.

you started kissing from his lips down to his jaw and neck, giving him bites and hickies all over that area. "you've been waiting for this for quite some time now, havent you?" you teased him, rocking your hips on his as you gave his collarbone special attention.

"fuck.. fuck yes." he groaned out, trying to grab your hips but you grabbed his hands immediately, pressing them down above his head.

"dont even think about this." you threaten him, and he looks at you with wide eyes. "i will not be touching you if you dont listen to me. understood?" scaramouches eyes widen in surprise, ready to whine out. he cant have you leaving him hanging once again, he needs you more than anyone else right now, so all he did was nod and look into your eyes.

"use your words." you demanded.

"y..yes."

"is that all?" you asked in a harsh tone, making him feel so much smaller than he actually is underneath you. his face got a soft pink blush around his nose and he looked away, everywhere else but in your face right now. "yes.. m..ma'am."

you could feel your pussy clench at the way he looked so embarrassed as he called you this name. you lived for embarrassing him.

"good boy." you answered and you could feel his dick twitch right through the shorts you were wearing.

you started kissing his body again, this time taking your time at his chest as you felt it heaving so cutely for you. "id love to fuck these tits." you grinned, looking up to him and seeing him hide his face inside the crook of his arm. "maybe next time."

his heart stopped beating for a second before it sped up in pace right afterwards. next time?

but before he could ask anything, you stood up from his lap, grabbing his waist once again before turning him around and pulling his pants down in one swift motion.

"H..HUH?" he asked surprised, looking back to you and seeing you eyeing his ass again. just thinking about what happened last time made his dick throb in his underwear, already being stained by precum anyway.

you were very happy with how things were right now, scaramouche underneath you and submissive, letting you use his body to your liking.

"ever got your ass pegged?" you looked up to him with a big grin, visibly ecstatic before pulling his boxers down too and touching his butt.

"n..no why the fuck should-?" but before he could finish his sentence you sinked your sharp teeth into his ass, biting him until there was evidence of your teeth on his butt.

he let out a small scream and let his head fall back into his neck, eyes closed in pleasure and pain. "i fucking hate you." he then said and you only giggled silently.

you stood up from his legs, grabbing into your nightstand to pull out your pretty pink dildo and scaramouches eyes widened in shock and lust, jumping up immediately.

"aint no way this gonna fit.." he mumbles.

"dont worry. ill make it fit." you returned, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer to your face again, pressing your lips on his harshly.

he opened his mouth instantly, welcoming your tongue in his mouth. fuck, he really cant resist your touch.

he leaned into the kiss and let out a small moan when your fingers graced his dick, playing with the tip and using his precum to make him wetter.

you let go off his lips and his dick and he let out a whine. he waited so long for this, dont stop now.

but instead of kissing him again, you leaned a bit back and pressed he colorful dildo on his lips, and he looked at you, slightly confused.

"what are you-?" he started, but you already pushed the tip of the sex toy into his mouth.

"sadly i didnt prepare any lube.. guess your spit has to make it wet now."

seeing scaramouche choke on the dildo made your heart swell in pride and joy, he really looked majestic like that. he grabbed your hand quickly, scared that you might shove it down his throat completely.

his heart was beating faster, scared of messing up. it was the first time of him sucking on a cock, he didnt want to look like a fool, he didnt want to disappoint you.

he tried to relax his throat to take the toy more in, sucking on it and looking at you through his lashes. inch for inch he took more in, putting on a small show for you.

you couldnt help but gasp a bit, pussy wet and aching for him. but you had to hold back, this was about him and his pleasure now.

"see, so you can be a good boy for me without throwing a tantrum. no need to be so bratty all the time.~" you teased him and he tried to look at you angrily, the toy in his mouth ruining it a bit for him.

you were still in your clothes which bothered both you and him, so you let go of the dildo in your hand, but scaramouche held it firmly anyway.

you quickly got rid of your shirt and shorts, sitting in front of him in your underwear while he was completely naked. when scaramouche saw your body in front of him, so close, he let go of the sex toy in his mouth and instead stared at you, biting his lip, trying to hide the faint blush on his face. he thought that you looked stunning.

you took the dildo out of his hand and kissed him again, pressing him onto his back while he leaned into the kiss, hands grabbing into your hair.

while kissing him you grabbed into your nightstand again, this time pulling out a bottle of lube.

scaramouche opened his eyes at the noise and let go of you when he saw the bottle. "wait what?? didnt you say you dont have any?" he bickered around and you laughed silently. "of course i have lube. i just wanted to see you suck on my dick." you teased him once again.

"you fucking bitch." he returned, visibly angry and embarrassed again, hiding half his face with his hand.

"oh c'mon, you looked really stunning. the show you put on made me nearly loose my control." you said as you kissed his jaw and neck downwards to his chest and tummy, getting dangerously close to his dick, which was still standing and throbbing regularly.

"cute. how can you satisfy anyone with this small cute dick?" you bullied him and he turned his face away in shame. "fuck off." was all he said, ready to shove his foot up your face but you only giggled and pressed a kiss on the inside of his tender thigh.

you heard him let out a small whimper, back finally relaxing against your pillows as he closed his eyes. you just smiled against his thigh and pressed down a few more kisses on them before taking the bottle of lube, opening it and using it on your fingers.

you grabbed the insides of scaramouches knees and pressed them up to his hands, signaling him to hold them.

it was embarrassing for him, but he didnt care anymore. he just wanted you on top of him, destroying him completely, so he held his legs and spread them, being completely naked and open for you. "good boy.." you mumbled as your fingers started rubbing on his anus, making him shudder at the cold feeling.

"we need a safeword." you said, looking up to his face and he opened his eyes in frustration. he thought you would finally fuck him properly.

"safeword?"

"yeah.. in case you dont like it anymore." you explained it.

"i know what a safeword is you dumb fuck." he said angrily, and you gave him a slap on his dick, making him moan out in pain and pleasure, arching his back and shoving his butt closer to you.

"dont get too comfy now." you said, and he looked at you apologetically.

"fuck just choose anything! i dont care."

you took his dick into your hand, stroking him a few times and watching him mewl in pleasure.

"coconut?" you asked.

"y..yeah yeah whatever" he said, enjoying the pleasure that you were giving him right now.

you took your lube smeared fingers and slowly inserted one inside of him while watching his face and facial features.

his eyelids fluttered and he bit his lip, grabbing the bedsheets as he tried to get used to the unknown feeling. you didnt move your finger yet, waiting for his consent.

he slowly opened his eyes and gave you a nod, signaling you to move your finger, so you did. you kissed him on the lips again, trying to make him ignore the initial pain in his butt.

he wrapped his arms around your body again, kissing you a bit sloppily as he moans into the kiss, moving back onto your fingers.

after a few minutes you heard him mumble against your lips. "m..more" he said before pressing his lips on yours again. you took the invitation to slowly insert a second finger into him and you felt him flinch and whimper against your lips. you let go off the kiss too look at him, but he pulled you back down again, not wanting to let go of the kiss.

you moved your fingers and he whimpered against your lips, biting down on your underlip. man, you really wanted to ravish him, but you had to hold yourself back a little more, for him.

you started scissoring your fingers and scaramouche started enjoying it a bit more, all kinds of moans and groans leaving his mouth. "f..fuck this feels so.." he started, but got lost in pleasure, losing his train of thought once again.

after a few more seconds you pulled out of him, making him shudder underneath you, opening his eyes slightly to look at you. "just do it now." he started bothering you again and you gave him a slap on his thigh. "shut up."

you grabbed underneath the bed and pulled out your strap on, making his face heat up slightly, but you only smiled at his reaction and put it on.

you’d never ever felt this way around anyone before - you could feel your panties growing more soaked by the second from anticipation. but it really wasnt about you right now, it was about him.

scaramouche really didnt expect to be fucked senseless when he made his way over to your home, and yet, his mouth was dry and his face was hot with embarrassment? fear? neediness? he didnt know. all he knew was that he wanted this feeling gone and your body on top of him.

scaramouche sighed happily when he felt the toy slowly, very slowly gliding into him, head falling back as he winced at the initial pain. you paused for a moment, letting him get used to the feeling.

after a few seconds he nodded again, signaling you to push in deeper. he groaned as you pushed in further, the size of you causing a burning sensation, even despite the lube and preparation earlier.

you pressed light kisses around his forehead, cheeks, jaw, neck, trying to calm him down.

he breathed heavily as you pushed in more, more, more, filling him up deliciously before bottoming out inside of him. scaramouche felt like his whole skin was burning hot, tears pricking in his eyes as he grabbed your arms, pulling you down to him and pressing your body on his as he wrapped his arms around your body.

you pushed your hips back towards his, rolling your hips in a slow pace as his body twitched underneath you.

"fu.. fuck i hate you so much." he reminded you again and you laughed in a low tone, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. "want me to stop?" you asked and he locked his legs behind your back, taking up your space to move away.

"no!!" he gasped as you continued to pound into him, head thrown back into the pillows as moans, grunts, your name and even a few ma'ams leave his lips continuously. a very visible bulge appearing on his stomach made him gasp out, tears leaving his eyes and smearing all over his face. "dont stop, fuck, please dont stop.." he moaned out loudly.

"i should stop." you continued to tease him. "after all these months of you destroying my life, it really should be fair if i leave you hanging." you grabbed the inside of his knees, pressing them to his chest and putting him into a mating press. "you deserve this."

scaramouches mouth was left open, tongue hanging out and drool leaving his mouth. he was completely gone, trying his hardest to concentrate on what to say. "s..so-sorry. im so sorry fuck im sorry" he slurred out, trying his hardest to not come too quickly.

"is this how your mother taught you to apologize?" you grunted, slapping his thigh and ass hard, making him mewl out.

"fuuck I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have put through you all tha-fuckk." he moaned out, looking down to where your and his body connected.

"I will stop I will stop I promise I won't bother you anymore just please..make me cum." hearing him choke on his own words made your chest fill with pride. you finally broke him.

his hands tried to hold anything of you, grabbing your bra that you still wore and opening it, throwing it away, his eyes all over your chest now, watching the way they bounce while you fuck him hard.

he was fucked out and you barely even started, using his body as a mere fleshlight for your toy, teeth gritting as he felt a familiar sensation build up in his stomach as the toy continuously pushed against his prostate, making him see stars through the tears in his eyes.

"cu- cumming. fuck im so closesoclosesoclose" he slurred out, completely drunk on pleasure.

"eyes on me." you demanded, and he looked up from your chest to your eyes. "want you to look at me as you come." you continued, and scaramouches heart skipped a beat. fuck. you really wrapped him around your finger.

you took your hand and grabbed his penis, playing and stroking him a bit to increase the pleasure, sending him off the edge as he came all over his body and your hand. you took a few seconds to fuck him through his orgasm before slowly standing still, only both of your heavy breathings heard in the apartment.

you smeared the cum that was left on your hand on his chest and stomach, painting him full with it as you teased him again, his body still shaking and spasming underneath you.

"fuck, i could do this all day." you said and he bit his lips at the thought of that.

"not gonna take any pictures this time?" he asked and you grabbed the polaroid camera on your nightstand.

"oh you bet i will."

☆☆☆

HELLOO <33 this is gonna be the last part i dont think i have much to add to the story anymore.. i hope you all enjoyed it and thank you so much for hyping me up the past 2 weeks <3 it really meant a lot, you guys made my days and nights.

#genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin #genshin impact imagines #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #x reader #wanderer #wanderer x reader #genshin impact scaramouche #sub!scaramouche #dom!reader #bully!scaramouche #scaranation

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mai2themai · 1 month

Text

-A good warior listens to his woman-

(A/N: hellooo 2nd writing and ive noticed that my writing improved! Please give feedback! This is also my youtuber apology video so yayayaya)

Summary: Neteyam wakes you up, you guys are about to leave but you don’t realize that your heat cycle has started.

(p in v, kissing, fingering, matching press, aftercare, just overall be cautious if u have some sort of problem with this type of writing)

Enjoy!

“Teyam?” You awoke to his face close to yours, not intimately but protective.

“Shhh, tìyawn. my sa'nu is near—put your cloth on, now. We are to leave in minutes”

you quickly reached for your own chest, realizing your top wasnt on. In a panic you grabbed the closest thing—that being teyams loin cloth. Woah, your mate was naked. Woah, you are the reason. Fuck.

“my tanhì, what are you doing? Give that back”

He said as the handed you your own beaded beuatiful top.

“Teyam, why must we leave? I dont want to travel. I dont feel well.” You looked at him, the faintest blush covering your face

“How do you feel? I can always just follow after them, we can leave in about a week if thats what you need?” He said as he crouched next to you, he put his hand on your forehead and then a worried look crossed his face, “How do you feel? your warm.”

“I feel like im in lava, its hot—no, im really hot.”He placed his hand on your stomach, causing you to flinch, “Ah, teyam! Dont do that, it felt…weird”

You could hear him hiss before he spoke up, “You may be in heat, your warm to the touch and very sensitive.” His words made you aware of how hot you actually were, his hand cooled down your core but it made you flinch as it somewhat shocked you. “Seeing as im your mate, i will do anything to help you.”

“Nete, its fine. Just a short travel, right?” You tried to stand up, as quickly as you got to your feet, even quicker you fell. “Nevermind, so whats ways that you can help me? This is my first mating cycle.” You sat up, the cold air hitting you wrong in every way.

“Well, i can..mate with you, if thats what you want. There is other remedy’s to stop your cycle but they hurt somewhat and are just medicines from the tsahik.” He said, “I would rather mate with you.” You considered his words, the suddenly it didnt feel like an option, you needed him, you needed his body, his touch, everything. Your own body was betraying you cause only a look at him got you so aroused.

“need you, nete.” In a flash, he picked you up, carrying you to a more private spot, all he needed was your word. You whimpered with each of his steps, sending a delicious vibration through your whole body. As you and neteyam reached the secluded area, he placed you down, removing his loin cloth and your own. “Nete, it hurts, i need you!”

“I know, i know you need me, just sit tight.” a few soft kisses landed on your body, kissed turning sloppy and wet. He landed a kiss on your mouth then he pressed your legs up and gently put his two fingers in you, “Do you like that?” He then put his fingers in you at knuckle length slowly pulsing them in and out.

“Y-yes, i like that. Please nete, move faster!” At your command his fingers picked up pace, your sweet moans filling the air. He leaned down to kiss you and he let his freed member touch your clit, you clenched on his fingers, making him hornier than before.

“Could i—nah, im gonna make you cum on my tongue.” He placed your legs over his shoulder and licked you slit, pulling his fingers out of you and pushing his tongue in, you let out a pornographic moan as he destroyed your clit. “You taste so sweet fa’ me? hm? Such a good girl taking my mouth so well. You dont gotta cum in my mouth but be ready for me. This is all just a warm up.”

“Nete! P-please slow down!” At you command, once again, he slowed down. He slowed down enough to have you moaning in displeasure. But to his suprise, you reached down to try and do it yourself, he noticed and pulled your hands away then pushing the head of his cock into your entrance. The moan that ripped from your lips? Pure ecstasy for him.

“Tsìltsan 'eve, your already moaning like that from my tip? I just might fill you up withs some babies, lets see you with a swolen belly, that would be good, hm?” With that, he pushed in farther, filling you with just half. He noticed that you were mewling so he started slower, in…out…in…out, it was torture.

“Nghh, nete! Stop! Pull out!” This came as a shock to him, but he listened. He pulled out and fisted his cock. “klltxeykay, i will show you what i want.” (klltxeykay means lay down) As he laid down, you climbed on top of him. Slowly you pushed im in you. He whimpered. For the first time that you have heard, he whimpered. You could cum to whatever noise he made but this alone had you more wet than you’ve ever been. You grabbed your braid, and he grabbed his, as you rode him he connected them, the pleasure making him cum deep inside afterwords.

How did you get in this position? Like this, you would be willing to have a million babies if this is what the sex felt like. You were fully aware of every little thing. In this position, your knees were almost at your head, folded like a blanket. Your ankles were barley touching his shoulders, whole body shivers of pleasure making your legs wobble.

“Ne-Nete! gonna cum!”

“Again? I must be making my prrnen feel so good. Cum with me.” After that was pure chaos, your whole body tensed and un tensed, ultimately knocking you out. Neteyam didn’t realize at first and came in your unconscious body, as he did realize, he put your clothing back on along with his and carried you back, it already being nightfall.

Once you came to, you were on a ikran, neteyam flush to your back and your head supported by his arm. You were leaving the forest to find a new home. Neteyam handed you a small flask of water, some fruits too. Since you were airborne, some better after care would have to wait.

You were okay with that.

#neteyam smut #new author #smut #neteyam x reader #teehee 😋

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throwbacktears · 11 months

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people on here really don't like re-contextualizing midnights as a breakup album but. with "hits different", with the news of their breakup, and now finally "youre losing me", it just. it makes so much sense as a break-up album. and even if we didnt consider it as one at the time, i dont think there's anything wrong with coming to see it as one now. looking at it at all at face value, it just makes sense. even if some people might not want to hear that.

taylor has always said midnights is an album about choices - the ones we treasure, the ones we regret, the ones we mull over until the early morning.

lavender haze, given all that we now know, was clearly about taylor trying to keep her head in the clouds -- blissful ignorance -- a la "lavendar haze" -- when its apprarent theres a big elephant in the room. i always found it interesting that whenever she referred to her and joe's relationship, she fixated a lot on when they first got together, and he was there for her when no one else was. its almost like that was her anchor and justification to stay with him anyway, despite the (now-implied) emotional neglect that was actually going on, despite the multiple breaks they've supposedly have had to take over the course of their relationship. she just wants to stay in that time period where everything was perfect, when everything was still rosy, in that "lavendar haze".

bejeweled -- the idea that, even though someone wants to keep her a secret, and dim her light in the process, it wont stop her from shining, and she cant help it. and if theyre not willing to let her shine, something has got to give. the idea of her being kept to the basement, by this person, when she just wants "the penthouse of your heart".

the same themes in bejeweled of doing all the extra credit, just to get graded on a curve, to youre losing me, where "i give all my best me's, my endless empathy, and all i did was bleed"

maybe calling midnights a breakup album is too reductive, since not all the songs refer to her and joe's relationship, and thus not every song is a breakup song. but to call midnights anything other than, at the very least, a melancholic, relationships-on-the-rocks (re: theme of staying up until midnight over decisions), break-up adjacent album, where its clear something has got to give, despite the good that they had - especially given the context we have now - is amiss.

like the wisdom that comes with looking back at her re-recordings with new eyes and revisiting those times knowing what she knows now, she also uses the theme of midnights to ponder her then-current problems. such as: do i have to lose the person that i love most, because nothing they are doing, and everything they have been doing, is not enough anymore?

#taylor swift #midnights #youre losing me #hits different #bejeweled #mytext #i fixed the typos

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witchykittyy · 3 months

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Agreement 💖

@marcyyywukinnie asked: Hi could you make a fanfic Yandare Blitzo x reader x Yandare Stolas where they just fight about reader, before coming to terms that theyll share them??

I am soooooooo sorry about how late this is!!! I really am. Life's been really hectic and I went through a very depressive episode but I promise to be on top of stuff more often! I really hope you like it! ❤ Sorry if its not really enough fighting per say. 😅

TW: Demons, Hell, Blood, Arguing, Cursing (lots of it), Mentions of kidnapping, Stalking, and other yandere themes.

"Damn that was a fuck ton of clients!!!" Millie jumped up into Moxxie's arms pumped and covered in blood. "Yea it was and it was so fucking awesome! But I think imma head in for the night." You're the newest member of I.M.P. A few days ago you saw their help wanted poster and decided you needed the extra money so you decided to join. You got along really well with Moxxie, Millie and surprisingly Loona. The only person who doesn't seem to like you is Blitzo. He was always staring at you. Watching your every move like he's waiting for you to do something wrong. So you always tend to keep your distance.

"Yea I think me and Millie have had enough excitement for today as well. Goodbye sir! Goodbye Y/N!" "Bye Blizto! Bye N/N!" Moxxie and Millie wave goodbye as they leave. "Whatever, bye." Loona continues on reading her magazine. "Bye guys!" You wave goodbye to them sweetly. "Bye lovebirds! Don't get too kinky while I'm away!" You can almost hear Moxxie rolling his eyes at those words and you chuckle. Now its just you, Loona and... Blitzo. Though your back is turned you can feel his eyes burning into info our skin, its very unsettling so with out turning around you decided to say your goodbyes and leave. "Bye Blitzo! Bye Loona!" "Bye dork." Blitzo doesnt say anything and you start to walk off sill feeling his gaze on you. Suddenly he says "See you soon Y/N"

You got home and were extremely exhausted as you flopped down onto your semi comfortable bed. Due to only recently having a job you dont have that much money to buy yourself a nice place so for right now you're stuck in this crummy apartment. Even though you didnt mind your situation someone else did.

Stolas has been watching you from the day he saw you in the I.M.P headquarters while he was visiting Blitzo. He's been obssessed with you ever since he saw you and has stalked you finding out your likes, habits, dislikes and everything else about you. He truly believes that you deserve so much better than what you have. He loves you and believes you deserve to be treated like a queen. A problem with that is that Blizto is also in love with you. Stolas notices the stares he give you and the longing look in his eyes. He's sure Blitzo has noticed his interest as well and thats probably why Blitzo hasnt spoken to him. But nevermind that.

You change into your PJ', get into bed and start scrolling through Helltok. "Ah shit its getting dark and I have to work tomorrow" you sigh. "I guess I should go to bed as Moxxie would say thats the responsible thing to do." You turn off your phone and go to bed. Stolas stares at you from the window wishing that he were next to you.

After a while he sees someone climbing onto your balcony. He's about to go stop him but then the two lock eyes. "Stolas?! The fuck are you doing here?!" He almost tumbles off the balcony from the surprise. "I should be asking you the same question Blitzo." "Look dipshit im doing the same thing you are but going inside." Blizto starts opening the window. "Wait! We shouldnt do that it invading her privacy." He goes to stop him but then Blitzo slaps his hand away. "Oh and stalking her isnt invading her privacy?! Look just leave ok if you dont wanna do this. Not like I want you stealing my girl anyways." He grumbles the last part but Stolas is able to hear him. "Well I sure as hell am not leaving her alone with you." "Then come in with me." He grabs Stolas's hand and stealthly brings him into the room. Stolas blushes at the sudden contact. 'Wait why'd he blush? What the hell is happening to him?'

You're dead asleep on the bed. "So smart ass what do we do now?" He tries to cover up the fact that grabbing Blitzo's hand made him blush. "We look around bird brain." They start looking around the crummy place, dodging the clothes thrown on the floor. Eventually after looking around for a while Blitzo decides to look your computer as Stolas watches you sleep peacefully. Out of the corner of his eye Stolas sees him breaking into your computer. "Hey!" He yells silently. "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking through her computer dipshit." Blitzo rolls his eyes as though its obvious. "Well yes I know that but why?" "To make sure she ain't seeing some other loser."

Blitzo searches and suddenly stops dead in his tracks. "You need to see this birdie." They stare at the computer reading you're messages with some guy named Dennis. "Oh hell no" they growl out in unison. You whine and shift in your sleep as they go dead silent. Once they're sure you're not awake they continue. "We can't let this shit happen." Blitzo growls with malice. "I completely agree. This dirt bag isn't good enough for our Y/N." Stolas nods. "Wait, our?" "Well yes I suppose we'll need to team up to stop this guy and ensure that she stays with us. Is that an ok arrangement?" Stolas questions. "Yea.. Thatd be great." Blitzo looks down blushing madly.

#helluva boss #yandere stolas #yandere helluva boss #yandere blitzo #first time writing an actual fanfic #i hope you guys like it

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i4ksm · 4 months

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Hiya hun, can I request a first time headcannon with Riize? Pls and ty🖤🩵

hi ! i hope u like this <33

first time with them: riize edition

shotaro

your first time with taro would be his first time as well! i feel like he would be somewhat nervous but he would be so sweet and gentle. constantly asking for reassurance, making sure he doesnt do anything wrong because taro would feel embarrassed if he messed up or didnt help you. “wait where did you say you liked it the best, here? are you sure? okay” he himself would also feel embarrassed when he makes little noises of pleasure, but it makes him feel better when you do too. he face heats up when you moan, because he realizes that that him thats doing it.

eunseok

eunsok would never let you forget the way that he feels. he knows his way around the human body, he knows what hes doing and how to do it. but since its you first time he promises to be gentle with you. he knows it can be scary so he makes sure to talk you through everything. “dont worry baby im right here” and he will make sure you know its important yo vocalize what you want. “if it gets too much tell me, if you want more tell okay?” sweet boy can be an animal in bed but thats for you to find out later!

sungchan

sungchan would be nervous just because he doesnt want to hurt you. but another problem would be holding back. you feel so good around him and he knows he needs to move slowly and be gentle but in his head he is just begging you to ask him to go faster. “you feel so good around me holy sh-shit baby” eventually he is rewarded when you start asking for more telling him “faster please channie” he doesnt hold back anymore at this point, but he makes sure you get taken care of.

wonbin

wonbin treats you like you are fine china. like you are the most fragile thing on the planet. from start to finish he is asking you “are you okay?” “is this too much?” “does this feel okay?” because he takes pride in his ability to give pleasure and he wants you feeling like you are on cloud 9 the entire time. “you are so perfect” he praises you, makes you feel confident in yourself when he senses your nerves. he will do anything to make you feel like a pretty princess.

seunghan

like wonbin seunghan will take really good care of you. but i also am apart of the seunghan corruption kink agenda. he would love to take his time with you, molding you to fit him perfectly. “my good girl doing so well f’me arent you?” he wants to take you, a sweet innocent person, and completely transform you. he knows it will take time but thats exactly what he does.

sohee

i feel like sohee has alot more confidence than yall act like. sohee to me is one of the kinkiest in the group (but some of yall aint ready for that conversation!) i think everything would go smoothly with him, he would take his time with you but not too much time. “are you ready for me baby?” and when you give him that greenlight GOODBYE to all ur sanity babe!!! hes smiley and loves his eye contact too!!

anton

with anton he wouldnt be sure whether he should lead or you should just tell him everything you feel like you want and then let him do it. hes never taken someones virginity before and he obviously doesnt wanna mess it up but he doesnt want to seem inexperienced so he would probably ask alot of questions to make sure you feel safe and pleasured as possible!!

#i4ksm #riize hard hours #riize smut #riize hard thoughts #🌀 — anon files

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bibberbang · 10 months

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i dont reblog those posts about how hard it is to have moralizing ocd in online spaces, even though i deeply resonate with them. ironically, i can only talk to 2 people about my ocd, because one of my obsessions is that other people will assume im using my mental health as a shield against criticism if i talk about it. therefore, if i talk about my ocd in any circumstance, my brain believes that i'm already doing something immoral

basically, most of my obsessions resolve around people assuming bad faith of me or that i'm somehow secretly an irredeemably bad person, no matter how hard i try to be good. i am a bad person if i dont reblog posts about serious topics, spend every waking moment thinking about extremely serious topics, or make any social mistakes whatsoever (which is scary because i'm also autistic). i believe that i am irredeemable if i make a small mistake, and i often think all my friends are waiting for me to make a mistake so that they can attack me, and that my life will be ruined if i fuck up. im constantly scanning all my interests (and people i know) for the tiniest imperfections (far beyond healthy amounts of criticism in your interests) out of fear that liking anything or anyone makes me a horrible person. if you dont take a side on this lgbt label discourse, then youre a bigot! im ALWAYS mentally preparing responses and apologies to totally theoretical situations of people being upset with me. i have intrusive thoughts about doing the immoral things that scare me most.

the problem is, *talking about* any of these thoughts invites people who will actually bad faith me. "if youre so worried about this stuff, then you must have something to hide! you just want to avoid accountability!" they make your obsession a reality by accusing you of the exact thing you fear most. none of these thoughts are reasonable or realistic, and i know that. i know that i'm mentally ill. i know logically that i'm as good a person as anyone else. when i actually do make a mistake, i stay level-headed and apologize, acknowledge what i did wrong, and change my behavior

but there is a large part of me that does not want to heal from my ocd, because i believe constant self-monitoring and self-critique is the only thing preventing me from becoming a horrible person

there is nothing i want more in this world than to be a good altruistic human being who is capable of growth, but spending weeks trapped in thought loops analyzing all my behaviors for the smallest signs of a mistake will not help me be a better person. it makes me a worse friend. it drains my energy so that i dont have the mental capacity to actually spend time being kind to others. i reread this post many times while writing it to make sure i didnt accidentally write 6 different slurs. but i can't figure out how to heal. what the fuck do i do about this

this is incredibly hard for me to write about. i'm fighting the urge to delete this post as you read it. i cant stress how debilitating this is for me, it is the biggest hurdle in my life and it sucks away days worth of my time and energy. i will become trapped in thought-loops THE SECOND im not kept sufficiently busy and stimulated by tv/music/my bf/being out of the house somewhere/etc. so much of my life is wasted wanting to be good, that i dont get a chance to actually live the life of a good person

i really hope this post resonates with someone. ive only met a few other people who have this particular kind of ocd, and its extremely isolating. but i want to try to heal from it, and i know the first step to healing is talking about it

#have you ever noticed how i'll add addendums in the tags of my posts where i'll clarify EXACTLY what the post was about?#i do that bc of my obsession that some1 will screenshot something i say out of context and make me look horrible #this is not just a Go Outside problem btw. i know a lot of the examples i gave were internet related #but ive had ocd since i was a child. the other half of my symptoms are health related #like obsessions about emetophobia. or food being contaminated or making me sick. or other physical illness #ppl assume ocd is just washing your hands and not wanting to be touched. naur. i wash my hands a normal amount and i love being touched #so i didnt believe i could have ocd for a long time cuz i didnt fit the stereotype. even though it was incredibly obvious and debilitating #amygdalae #ocd #actually ocd

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 9 months

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OMG i get to talk about khamgalai ive been dying to talk about khamgalai im so fucking mad at khamgalai

i have said stuff about it on this post (sorry im only putting it here cause i started looking for it on my blog and couldnt find it until i went through a post sorter site and i got so upset about it fhdglh so ill have it here just in case i guess) https://www.tumblr.com/tetsuooooooooooo/710065228547866624/anyway-anyone-wanna-hear-about-my-muriel-tired-of?source=share

aaaand liike i started replaying the route recently partially cause i wanted to find anything that would prove me wrong in this matter and i am only halfway through but its Not going GREAT

because it wouldve all been perfectly fine if they didnt choose to establish that she apparently knew the whole time where muriel was and what he was doing. i dont know how much she saw but like. she saw it.

cause this bitch really saw muriel. child muriel. baby. possibly last of her kin. fucking living out on the streets homeless starving getting kicked around god knows what happening to him

and went aw lemme get a snapshot for the family album and just LEFT HIM THERE

AND IM LIKE BITCH I THOUGHT YOU LIKE CARED ABOUT HIM OR SOMETHING I MEAN SHE FOOLED ME WITH ALL THAT CRYING AND THE THINGS SHE SAID WHEN WE MET HER THE FIRST TIME BUT GODDAMN I GUESS SHES JUST AS MUCH OF A "PAIN BUILDS CHARACTER" BOOMER AS MORGA

cause okay even if it was like future visions n shit like thats their magic thing theN LIKE YOU STILL KNOW MORE THAN YOU DID BEFORE YOU KNOW THERES A CITY IN THE NORTH NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AND WHERE HE CAN BE AND ITS A COUPLE WEEKS AWAY BUT YOURE A FUCKING NOMAD AND NOT THAT OLD YET

like WHAT is the reason she absolutely would not even attempt to come get him other than The Story Needs To Happen this is spiderverse all over again except now im on miles side i hate this hichjgs and like yeah ok the story needs to happen he needs to be the way he is and destiny and whatever but like when were in a story where we know theres a whole 5 other ways to go about solving this problem and its all choice oriented and stuff it kinda just. ya know. it doesnt glass my onions very much vnxviydy i dont know how to put it but u get it

and like

YOU THOUGHT WHAT?? WHAT THE SIGNAL CUT AFTER HE GOT OUT OF THE FUCKING CAGE HE WAS LIVING IN AND YOU COULDNT SEE HIM ANYMORE AND YOU THOUGHT WHAT THAT HE DIED??? girl dont FUCK with me you aint give a shit if he lived or died ok that was harsh im getting really heated this is so messy lol

its probably gonna turn out in a minute that she said something in the ghost realm that makes it make sense but i dont remember that all i recall is us hangin out and her calling me out for being a furry and them being all "u saw me over there and u still like me?" " aw of course i like u come give ghost grandma a hug" thats how i remember that going down fhxhyietfh so yeah ill find out soon enough

Ooh, I think I remember wondering about that when I last played Muriel's route! I'll leave it to other Muriel fans to share their thoughts on it too, since my memory is a bit fuzzy at the moment XD

@tetsuooooooooooo that makes total sense to be upset about though, especially when you're seeing all of this from Muriel's side! T~T I'll be curious to hear what you think as you keep playing the route! ^.^

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #muriel the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game

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quodekash · 6 months

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QUICK, GUYNAWA ARE HAVING A TENDER MOMENT, I NEED TO KEEP GOING

I love their flirting love language <3

the way he looks at him

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM

yes, im crying because of them

oh that is so infuriating

they were facing the wrong way

I love these idiots so much but maybe if they'd seen the shooting star, they couldve had a magical moment and then kissed or something, idk

but no, they're such idiots that they didnt think to look in the other direction

I love them, but its infuriating sometimes

OKAY BUT GIVE US THE WHOLE STORY

THERES SO MANY GAPS

literally all we know about this so far:

1. evil boss guy wanted name to do one last thing for him before he could quit (presumably to rob the house)

2. name asked saifah for some help with some things he had to do

3. according to that one news report, a robbery probably happened?

4. saifah shot kong

5. name had "no idea saifah would do something like that"

so much is missing. what's the whole story here? I still believe that saifah is innocent. he might've accidentally shot him or something, I dont know

yeah, okay

but name is involved in the plot somehow

answer my questions bitch

okay, I love you saifah, but telling him to forget about you is really freaking selfish

it may seem self-sacrificing, like "he'll be happier without me on his plate" but it's not. it's downright selfish.

there are things at play here that you're not thinking about, and other things you're not aware of

such as, you dont know that sailom is now kind of hopeless. because of what you supposedly did, kang now hates sailom, so sailom can't tutor him, so sailom can't get the money to pay off yours and his debts.

as for the things you're not thinking off?

you forget, your parents are both dead. you are his only family left. he is your only family left. he wants to understand the situation so that he can get help for you to get out, so that he isn't utterly alone, and so that you can get out of the terrible environment that is jail. he can't just forget about you, because you are all he has.

and this is both not thinking of and not aware of, sailom doesn't like to accept help from people for free. he doesnt have kang's financial support anymore. and his friends are offering help, but he has no way to pay them back for that help, so he wont accept it. but he wants you back, deemed innocent, so that he can get his boyfriend back, his job back, his happiness back. he can't just forget about you. he needs you.

now anSWER MY QUESTIONS BITCH, WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

HE CAN'T, THAT'S THE THING, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

IM GONNA REITERATE WHAT I SAID IN EPISODE FOUR: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A SEX WORKER, AN ESCORT, ANYTHING IN THAT LINE OF WORK

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT SAILOM IS STILL A CHILD IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THAT'S A FULL-ASS GROWN MAN ABOVE THE AGE OF 40

IT MAKES ME FEEL GROSS AND UNCOMFORTABLE

THAT IS ALL, THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

AND ONCE AGAIN, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SEX WORK, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH A 40+ YEAR OLD MAN HOLDING A DRUGGED UNCONSCIOUS BOY AND SMILING LIKE THAT

thank goodness for that

CRAP THIS IS BAD AH FRICK

IM NOT TAKING SCREENSHOTS OF THIS PART I REFUSE

OH CRAP KANG PLS ARRIVE AND PUNCH HIM

AAAAA FRICK FRICK FRICK PUNCH HIM PUNCH HIM PUNCH HIM

OHTHANKGOODNESS THANK YOU KANG

I had to go through that entire scene without saying anything but man the line "to me you're nothing but money" really hit hard

I sat there for like 2 whole minutes not wanting to press play after that line because it was just validating all of kang's worst fears about how sailom values him

I am not even remotely okay

I hate the writers so much for this

on the bright side, they didnt do a soundwin and give us absolutely zero guynawa in episode 10 so I appreciate that

but uh. now im sad.

THE FREAKING FLASHBACKS THIS EPISODE HAVE BEEN THE WORST THEYVE EVER BEEN

THEY WERE MEANINGFUL FLASHBACKS

SHORT SNIPPETS OF THEIR PROGRESSION AND THE THINGS THEYVE GONE THROUGH

okay well that was. truly something.

this episode took me nearly 4 hours to watch which is a new personal record and im not sure if I should be proud of that or if I should start crying about how exhausted im going to be tomorrow

Im excited for next week and for this mess to be cleared up at least a little bit, but im also not excited for next week because itll be the second last episode and im not ready for this series to be over yet

anyway, have a good week folks. uh. yeah. keep calm and love guynawa way too much

#quodekash disregards sleep because of dangerous romance #dangerous romance #dangerous romance series #dangerous romance the series #kangsailom #kanghansailom #guynawa #marcwin #marc pahun #win pawin #pawin kulkaranyawich #perthchimon #chimon wachirawit #perth tanapon #papang phromphiriya

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strawberry-crocodile · 14 days

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Hi! This might come off as a bit rude, I really hope it doesn't but I'm honestly not sure? I'll try to reword it if I think it does?

Anyways - I think the reason why there's so much push back with TMA/TME is because there's been people who are faking being transfem using it to say that transmasc people dont face oppression/shouldn't talk about their experiences with transmisoginy and transphobia (which is a thing that TERFs are known to do, and have admited doing) [I also wouldn't rule out transfems who are hurting lashing out at people, but I personally don't want to ascribe that to them since I think it's more likely TERFs doing]

There might also be push back about it bc some transmasc people might feel as though the TMA/TME thing is purposely excluding them from talking about their experiences seriously? This is kinda the one that I'm worried about coming off as rude, so I'll try to phrase it as how I felt? IDK - when I first heard about TMA/TME I had been going through a pretty rough time with my job -

I'm transmasc, and my boss says that they don't have to respect my pronouns OR legal name change until I'm far enough along on my medical transition that I would "feel correct". Because of that, I had wanted to go to other trans people and ask them about it, but someone told me that because I'm TME it's not all that important, that "sure that sucks, but they won't kill you, so let people with real problems ask for help". because of that I sort of saw TMA/TME as just a way that people exclude and ignore transmasc people - as I've also been told by people that transmasc history isn't as important as transfem history, because we "havent done anything to help queer people".

Obviously all of that is wrong, and obviously it could be TERFs/transphobes trying to get us to fight each other, so that we don't push back against them and their oppression. But there were people agreeing with them, and not everyone on these forums and chatrooms can be TERFs.

And it took months for me to compartmentalize that TMA/TME is probably helpful for the people who choose to use it. It's almost definately a completely neutral way to describe people. But I understand where the push back is coming from bc I pushed back.

i hope this didnt come off as rude, im sorry if it did!

hey uh that fucking sucks??? part of the reason we use transmisogyny as a word is that it lets transphobia- which VERY MUCH AFFECTS TRANSMASC PEOPLE IN A VERY BAD WAY- exist and be its own thing. so like. idk. im sorry dude

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beesmygod · 2 months

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do you mind talking about what made effexor so bad for you? also where can I read about this streamer fake death lol

all the stuff on thedarkid is on SA in the sagas thread lol. i would prefer not to post a link bc the quality of new posters is at an all time low on that website and i dont want to contribute to the problem.

AS FOR EFFEXOR: i am prefacing this with the fact that this is my personal experience as a result of my body chemistry. effexor might work for some people with different body chemistry. my suggestion would be to try everything else first before resorting to this one and to be ready to feel really, really bad when discontinuing it.

i got off effexor because the negatives of taking it finally outweighed the positives and the problem i had been taking it for was no longer relevant. this will make me sound ridiculous so keep in mind i took crazy meds for this exact problem, but after we bought and moved into the house, i started having nightly panic attacks and weeping fits over both the decadence of my new non-renter lifestyle (which was materially going to impact the quality of my work and how i viewed reality) and the fact that i had taken a really big step toward commitment without having resolved the source of my deep social anxiety. i could realize how i was behaving and reacting was not normal and until i could get a therapist to address it, i was going to have to put a bandaid on it.

effexor flattened my emotions and my affect lol. this is really, really good for when you cannot reach a baseline of normality. this became bad when that flatness turned into apathy and started sliding into my day to day life. doing basic household chores became a daily struggle. then i started not making my deadlines on time because i completely lost the will to draw, which actively began to terrify me. and then once i started struggling to bathe and brush my teeth i was like "okay. something is really really wrong". so then i started the process of getting off.

that's the broad overview. i did not realize the extent of the damage it was causing me until i started getting it out of my system:

my sleep schedule was destroyed bc it gave me terrible insomnia.

night sweats. NIGHT SWEATS.

theres been a rash on my face for over a year that ive thrown EVERYTHING at to try to get rid of, thinking it was anything from lupus to a yeast infection. it turns out its just caused by the pill. it goes away when theres less in my system o_o

my lip was also split for a year. my gums were covered in sores. and the inside of my nose felt like someone put a weed whacker in there and sliced it up. huge scabs. constantly in tiny flecks of pain. miserable but not unbearable, you know?

pussy felt like sandpaper.

i didnt even notice this until later but it also made me fail to derive pleasure from the touch of another person. but like i wanted to. if someone held me or squeezed my hand it felt almost painful. shit made no sense but you just think "this isnt how its supposed to feel? whats wrong with me?". but like that's over. it stopped. it feels good again.

food tasted bad. and i dont mean no flavor i mean BAD. i say this a lot but i cannot understate how fucked it made my palate. its normal again thank god. i have a bag of coffee that tastes different depending on when the last time i took a pill was. i spent the last year complaining about how bad processed food tastes now like all companies decided to make their product bad instead of something being wrong with me specifically. but when adam's cooking started to taste bad i was like "wait. what? thats not possible". lol thanks honey for helping me realize....

this one is really weird: it would cause specific parts of my body to feel stiff. the worst and most chronic part was the small of my lower back, which felt pulled taught so tight it was uncomfortable. then it spread to the fingers of my right hand, causing me to have to stop every few minutes and scrunch my fingers to try to alleviate it. this symptom only returns after i take a dose now. it makes me thrash like a fish trying to get comfortable at night

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