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#its like being 15 again <- was a huge nerd when i was 15
reddogcollar · 8 months
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thinking of the scripture that refers to god cleansing people of sin as "crimson being washed white" and gabriel act 2 starting enraged (red) before being washed white. fucking whatever
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krashoutluv · 4 months
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Arkham Knight Relationship HCS !! <3
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( light nsfw, mostly SFW tho!! )
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literally my wife ( i made this pic idc abt creds i just wanna talk abt it)
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SFW !! <3
dying on this hill when i say basically any red hood would be soo yummy with a civilian or just someone who is extremely balanced.
im a red hood needs more fucking normalcy in his life TRUTHER.
relationship starts off slow, romantic and platonic, you need to be patient with him long enough for him to get over his mental dilemmas to feel ANY-TYPE of way towards you.
more then like 6 months lets be real yall
his way of bonding is quality time. ill die on this hill, especially at the start of the relationship. Nothing huge maybe just spending a couple extra minutes around you before leaving.
next is probably gift giving, esp with early relations, probably just gonna order you food or put fifty bucks on your countertop. you dont even notice until you realize you find a fifty around the last place he was standing. expect deliveries from R.H whenever he feels bad for something.
doesn't like being around for too long, feels like he's messing up something. ruining your day by keeping you up late (he was there for fifteen minutes), ruining your mood, (there was an awkward silence for like 30 seconds.)
not a overly conscious thought process though, he feels physically he isn’t supposed to be there. for whatever subconscious thing he picked up on, a awkward silence, or hes been there 15 minutes too long or something
well sometimes he'll mentally beat himself up.
he spirals a lot, needs someone to pull him out of that.
i think when he needs to be grounded, its not just comfort its making him feel alive in the present moment. he's never gonna truly forget about his traumas but maybe for just an hour or two; running around an arcade, walking around the city. just making him feel normal, yeah you BAGGED his ass quick.
he needs someone patient, really patient, someone whos very attentive and empathetic. (but not a complete push- over def needs someone to set him in line still)
i think if you move to quickly, he'll get super snappy and ghosting you,, ong put ur hands on him too early and he's left hooking you.
yeah you're waking up and the first thing your hearing is "Its been 12 years..."
second thing you hear is "you've been in a coma for.. 12 years."
third thing you're hearing is, " we think a bus hit you...”
obviously not touchy, even when he is settling down. hes just not sure how to .. or where to .. or why he wants too.
please his mental gymnastics get so crazy, just sit down with him and put on some silly ass movie so he stops
when he’s settled he cant pry himself off you though.
a lot of his expressions can definitely be told by his body language, naturally hes tense but theres certain habits he has when he's maybe thinking too much, or fustrated/irritated.
but he does all of the same for you, comfort, love, as much as he can he tries
Very attentive, has a mental list of 'shit you do when somethings wrong' or 'shit you like.'
doesn't consciously make any of these mental list, he just knows.
"didnt they say they liked this?" He pauses "shit ill just leave it at their window."
so he's like canonically smart as shit.
you have too much work from your boss or professor? hand it over its done in less then two hours.
literally buys you groceries and pays your bills (fucking lover boy.)
arkham knight finally figuring out how to ask for a hug (hes been dead silent for 5 minutes) (link) <— insta reel
HES A CHEM/HISTORY NERD FOR SURE
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NSFW !! <3
probably- A FUCKING VIRGIN !! HES A NERD !! GETS AWKARD AS SHIT. WITH RAGING COMMITMENT AND TRUST ISSUES !! (will still die4you tho)
AGAIN, not in a "my soft squishe potato always been scared of sex" way but in a ‘oh my god hes so unsocialized’ way.
yall ever see a big ass dog just..standing.. literally him (hes dissociating)
genuinely dont believe that when he was arkham/training to be, he was sexually or romantically involved with anyone. the last thing that was on his mind was actually pursuing a sexual or romantic relationship.
along with his trauma, he just wasn’t comfortable with any of that.
ghosted so many people..
couldn’t flirt for more then five minutes, just stopped feeling it or got uncomfortable .
I AM ANTI ARKHAM KNIGHT BEING A SEX GOD
not that he’s horribly awkward, but he’s noticeably a bit more quiet for first times.
ofc this man has watched porn n’ shit but hes smart enough to know thats not what its really like.
he’ll still figure it, what makes you tic, what you love, what makes you most comfortable.
kinda shitty at dirty talk, just makes him buffer.
he gets better at it tho, too damn good
gets so snarky and confident about it too uuhgrr
late relationships hes smirking and chatting your ears off cause you know hes gettin you turnt.
he has a love-hate relationship with his scars. 95% they remind him of his past, but 5% hes alright with them because they’ve shown what hes been through.
deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, he knows hes fine as fuck. TRUST YALL.
again, super observant and attentive. really pays attention to what you enjoy.
I genuinely don’t believe hes into super hardcore/painful kinks or anything.
Sex for him is definitely a way of showing his trust and intimacy with someone!! Let him show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to make you feel good! Do the same to him !!
mmm tell him how good hes doing and hes a absolute mess!!
praise him! PRAISE HIM *im yelling from the hospital bed im strapped down on*
wouldn’t let you ride for awhile, but once he’s comfortable with it ,, he’s actually obsessed.
cant see him bottoming , just wouldn’t be comfortable with it
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my brain is getting messy so im stopping here! feedback and comments would be cool if you wanna drop some!
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lostinbooks14 · 6 months
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Let's Sneak into a Meadow
Times in the Wilderness
"So hypothetically speaking," Leo started, fingers working so fast that they almost turned invisible as he worked on unlocking the padlock, "On a scale of one to ten, how mad do you think Mrs. A$$hole is gonna be when she finds out we snuck out?"
"Wait what!?" Jason asked, sounding panicked, "I thought you said we wouldn't get in trouble with Mrs.Asoul cause we weren't breaking any rules!"
"Relax Blondie," Leo grinned as the padlock unlocked with a click, "the rulebook says 'no sneaking out of the school during school hours', but-" he emphasised as Jason prepared himself to argue, "I checked the records, and technically, this field does also belong to the school property... ok well the records might've been from 2013 but its totally not my fault that the library's not up to date!"
Piper snorted, flicking her braid over her shoulder, "See Jace, I told you the Super-sized Mcshizzle's got this all figured out."
Leo winked at them before pushing open the creaking metal gate and slipping through. He waited for the other two to follow- Jason insisted on Piper going first, cause he's still a gentleman stuck in the 70s- before closing the gate.
"I still don't like skipping periods though... are you sure this can't wait?"
"Mhm. Pretty sure. I totally did not just want to ditch English," Leo nodded.
Jason groaned dramatically- for a six feet tall, athletic nerd (yes, it was possible), he sure knew how to be a drama queen.
"Don't dull his little kiddie sparkle, Hot stuff," Piper laughed as she eagerly followed Leo deeper into the field- he knew she hated English just as much as he did. That teacher was a total b!tch about dyslexia.
He glanced back and saw Jason still standing rooted next to the gate, his entire face pink and flustered from Piper's comment. Piper followed his gaze and raised her eyebrows before going back and dragging Jason towards them. Piper and Jason were still at the flirting stage- well, Piper was, Jason was just confused- but Leo was certain they'd get together soon. And honestly, he couldn't wait. Sure being a third wheel would probably suck, but his amazing friends deserved each other.
"Almost there!" He called excitedly, quickening his pace as he led them to the patch of trees on the other end.
"Why is the kid leading the way again?" Piper asked, still firmly holding onto Jason's wrist. Ever since they'd found out that he was a year younger than them and had been moved up a grade- they'd been calling him kid- Leo didn't really mind though.
He turned around and blew a raspberry at them, so of course that meant Piper raced after him screaming "Oh, it's ON!", and Jason grinned and jogged after them. Piper caught up soon enough and tackled him to the ground, making sure that her body wasn't pinning Leo down as she gave him a wet willie. He screamed like a banshee and Jason came up behind them, hauling them both to their feet.
"Not that I don't love to see you getting scolded by the matron for getting dirt and grass all over your uniforms, but I really don't want to get in trouble with Mr.Hong too, so let's finish this quickly," Jason said. He seemed to notice that Piper had a huge blade of grass stuck in the hair next to her ear, and he reached up and brushed it away shyly.
This time Piper blushed, and Leo gave an encouraging thumbs up at Jason from behind her back, which promptly made him blush red too.
"Wow, dorks," he teased. "Anyways," he bent down and started pulling at the weeds covering the roots of a tall pine tree, "I've been thinking, both you're birthdays passed before I met you guys, and you're 16 now! Wow, old! But back to the point, I couldn't really get you guys anything, and you totally deserve something after all the effort you put into my ah-mah-zhang birthday party last week- hah I'm still 15- so I made something!"
"Awww," Piper gushed, "you really didn't have to! I'm so flattered!"
"Laying it on a little too thick there, Pipes," Leo noted.
"Seriously, though, you didn't have to. We were more than happy to do it for you," she said. Jason nodded in agreement.
"Uh uh uh- after all the effort- don't you dare give me the 'you shouldn't have' speech." Jason held up his hands in mock surrender as he handed them both two small square packages.
"I'm...confused..." Piped admitted finally, staring at the rose gold coloured metal circle in her palm.
"Same," Jason agreed, staring at his platinum coloured one.
Leo gave a dramatic groan. "It's an alert. See," he held up his left arm, shoving them a bronze circle set around his wrist. "You see the tiny buttons? So Pipes, if you're ever stuck somewhere with Dylan and are being tortured by his horrible attempts at flirting and need our blonde superman to come fly you away, you press the platinum coloured one. It's gonna make the rose gold button on Jason's one glow, and an arrow will appear right here," he pointed at the other side of the circle. I entered the map of the school building to it, so just follow the arrow! The bronze button's for me." He grinned at the impressed look the others were giving him.
"One question, where did you get the metal for these...?" Jason looked like he didn't want to know the answer.
"Oh..." He grinned sheepishly. "Well Piper was always complaining about that ginormous hoop earring set Jane bought for her because her dad didn't have time to buy her something himself- not that I blame her- Jane probably wanted your ears to rip off from their weight or something," he shrugged. After months of telling each other everything, they weren't sensitive about stuff to do with their shitty families anymore.
"So you melted them down and made these!? Wow Leo that's so cool!" She grinned wide, and pulled him into a crushing hug. Jason joined in, and Leo felt himself relax, enjoying the feeling of the only people who cared about him- and the only people he cared about's arms wrapped around him.
"Not to ruin the moment," Jason whispered, "But why did you drag us all the way here for this? Not that it isn't amazing, of course, it's definitely the best thing I've seen ever- but why did we have to skip class?"
Leo waved his hands dismissively, "Mostly cause this is a really cool place and I just thought let's sneak into a meadow. Plus," he smirked wickedly, "I wanted to make you get in trouble for once."
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m1kedefendr · 2 years
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Why Mileven is just not healthy (not about byler)
If you want to ship Mileven, go ahead. They’re cute, i get it. But you cannot sit here and tell me that canonically they have a healthy and happy relationship. You cannot tell me they are meant to be. Here’s why (without me mentioning byler AT ALL)
1. Eleven was literally trapped in a lab and traumatized for her ENTIRE life. from the moment she was born to when she was about 12, she was stuck in this lab. She had no real concept of family, friends, or relationships. She had no real concept of how the world worked.
2. Ben is the first instance of safety that she’s ever experienced, and he gets shot by the people who had her trapped.
3. Mike is the very second instance of safety, and her FIRST look into love. After Mike let’s her in his basement, he is now her main source of safety. He is becoming her comfort because he is NICE and he is CARING. yet behind the scenes, he’s agreeing to send her to a mental hospital where he thinks she escaped from…
4. Mike consistently is back and forth on El the whole time they’re looking for Will. One minute he trusts her and the next he’s asking “what’s wrong with you?” and “why did you lie?”. He parallels Brenner in s1 (and more throughout the show)
5. El was literally gone for almost all of s2. Mike cared a bit, yeah, but he was mostly focused on Will.
6. S3 is where they go even further downhill, its the first look we get into their actual relationship, and it’s literally all just making out and isolating from their friends. I get it, they’re like 13, but really? Look at Lumax. Lumax can easily navigate their relationship and friendships.
7. El is becoming her own person when she’s hanging out with Max, Max is encouraging her to be herself and find things SHE likes. Mike doesn’t like this, and consistently claims that Max is corrupting her.
8. Mike literally couldn’t care less when El dumped his ass. Look at his face. yeah i know he went and was asking how to fix it blah blah blah, but srsly? he just let her run away. (i said i wouldn’t mention byler but he literally biked across town in the rain to apologize to Will so we know he’s capable of apologizing on his own)
9. Mike might say “i love her and i can’t lose her again”, but what does he do when he finds out El heard it? He lies. “i don’t remember what i said”. She tells him she loves him too and kissed him, he stands there with his eyes wide open. He looks shocked. When she walks out he’s still staring, he looks like he just realized he fucked up.
10. S4, Mike can’t even write “I love you” to El. If he loved her, like he said in s3, why wouldn’t he be able to even write it?
11. My absolute favorite, the way the two of them cannot be themselves with each other. El is lying in her letters to Mike. She doesn’t have friends, she’s not doing good in California. She needs to make up new interesting things about herself because she lost her powers, and she thinks Mike only likes her for her powers. (she thinks everyone only likes her for her powers, it’s how she was raised) Mike is dressing up like some dad going to hawaii on vacation, and pretending he’s not some huge nerd because El never showed interest in his nerdy side. (in his true self).
12. Mike has another parallel with Brenner after he sees what El did to Angela with the roller skate. This reinforces El’s idea that Mike is scared of her, and only likes her when she’s using her powers to defeat monsters.
13. Mike and El argue about Mike not being able to say he loves her, and He is so insistent he does but will not say the words. Not even while she’s sobbing to him over it. He says she’s blowing it out of proportion. He tells her she’s a superhero, and she says “not anymore”
14. El writes that she’s gone to become a superhero again, this is the first time she doesn’t write love.
15. El’s entire time at area 11 and in NINA is her learning she has the power to control her own life. She can be who she wants to be, she can find her own identity. She is not a superhero. She is not a monster. She is Jane Hopper.
16. Mike’s monologue was nothing that El wanted to hear. It was so hypocritical. From the fact that Will was the one who had to urge him to say anything while she was dying, to the fact that he called her a superhero ONCE AGAIN. we can infer from earlier she does NOT want to be considered a superhero. she wants to be her own person, separate from her powers. that’s what she’s learned this entire season. Mike also says he loved her the moment they saw her, that his life started that day they found her in the woods. That is simply not true at all. If Mike had fallen in love at first sight, he would’ve never considered sending her to Pennhurst. If Mike’s life had started that day, he wouldn’t have been so easy to let her go when they saw the fake body get pulled out of the quarry. Even Lucas was telling him to lay off her in that moment, LUCAS. The guy who was the only one with real logical thinking the entire first season. He didn’t trust El from the beginning, but even he knew Mike was going overboard.
Let’s draw my conclusion from these little notes of everything i’ve written. El is traumatized. She is still figuring herself out and realizing what is friendship, what is family, and what is love. She didn’t know any better, so she got with Mike because she thought that because they kissed and he cares for her, that it’s romantic love. Mike, on the surface level (because i’m not talking about byler) got with El because she was the FIRST girl that ever showed interest in him, Lucas said it himself in season 1. Mike is canonically insecure about himself and he latched on to the first girl that liked him. Mike needs to feel needed, and he needs to know that someone loves him for who he TRULY is. El doesn’t want to need anyone. she wants to be independent and have family and friends. They just don’t fit together, they can’t support each other’s needs. With El’s character arc this season, mileven being endgame would be an assassination on her character.
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This one’s mildly lazily coloured cuz it’s 4am, sorry.
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This is my self insert for httyd/ygo and his dragon cuz httyd/ygo started as a silly thing in my head as an escape from reality.
Isaac: Isaac is basically just me, I am Isaac lol. He’s 15 because that’s how old I was when I first got the idea for this AU and he’s essentially just me being a huge nerd and going “this is what I wanna be with a few little twists”. He was raised by dragons from the age of 8 when he found a Night Fury that was shot down (totally not me stealing stuff from the httyd movies or anything) and has therefore learned how to understand dragons as if they were speaking to him in human languages. He wrote a sort of book of dragons so he could remember things about every dragon he met and knows a lot about dragon behaviour because he lived in a huge dragon nest similar to Valka’s bewilderbeast’s nest. He’s kind of a mix between Hiccup and Valka and spent the years he lived among dragons as a sort of vigilante freeing trapped dragons and helping other varying dragons in anyway he could which earned him respect amongst dragon kind. Because he was raised by dragons he is seen by dragons as another dragon rather than a human and people call him the Prince of Dragons because dragons respect him and listen to his commands in combat or in troubled situations. He met the ygo characters when he crashed in Neo Domino one day while testing a new flight style with Toothless and met Yusei who took him in and ended up forming a bond with him and adopting him as his son alongside Jack (hehe kingcrabshipping). He acts as an older sibling figure to Rua and Ruka who are also Jack and Yusei’s adopted children and Crow, Bruno and Kiryu act as their uncles. He is also seen as a part of the Arclight family (and its extensions which I’ll go into later) and is viewed as the Arclight brothers’ step-sibling.
Toothless: Toothless is a 15 year old Night Fury who was shot down and left to die in a forest but was found by Isaac who took pity on him and found a way to help him fly again. They then fled together and joined a nest of dragons who ended up respecting them both as leaders due to their behaviour. Due to events in the storyline, Toothless later becomes the Alpha of all dragons (yeah, like in the movies lol). Toothless is a playful and friendly dragon but if you dare try and harm any of his family he will not hesitate to take you down. He has a little heart shaped scale on his left ear which is one of his distinguishable little features. The tail he’s wearing in the above image is an automatic tail (which Yusei helped Isaac build. Also please pretend the gears or whatever are underneath or are just blending in very well) so he can fly alone like canon!Toothless could in the third movie. Toothless has a mate called Thunderstorm who is a Skrill/Night Fury hybrid and their relationship is based on the story of the two gay penguins (I forget what their names were, I think one was called Roy). This Toothless is named after the canon Toothless because the httyd movies do exist in httyd/ygo but they’re based on old texts and stuff rather than being purely fictional like they are in our reality and also because, just like me irl, Isaac is a huge httyd movie fanatic.
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crazylil-lion · 2 years
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1-33 please 👑
1.) what’s your sexuality?
Between Demisexual and pansexual
2.) are you dating someone right now?
Nope I wish someone would wanna own me.
3.) would you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?
Yes 1000% I literally spend most my day thinking of romantic things. Things I could do to surprise my partner.
4.) what comes to your mind when you think of love?
A lazy sunday morning with the smell of my partners favorite breakfast. Us sitting together talking and watching shows.
Just enjoying eachothers company.
5.) what’s your type? (body + personality wise <3)
Body type wise I dont have much of a type strong girls definitely make me weak because being picked up is dreams.
Personality? Someone whos kind ans caring yet mean and a bully but in a loving way. Someone who knows what they want and are more dominant. Someone who gives off mommy dom and like sadistic bully domme vibes. Going between soft and sweet to bullying me and being mean.
6.) flowers or hearts?
Hearts
7.) red or pink?
Pink
8.) do you prefer pastels or dark colors?
Pastels
9.) scented lotion or perfume?
Scented lotion. Gotta keep my skin smoooth and soft😏
10.) what color(s) do you associate with love?
Baby blue and pink
11.) what animal(s) do you associate with love?
Kittens and poppies
12.) how do you know when you’re crushing on someone?
When I'm constantly thinking about them. When I'm dreaming of doing little things like snuggling and watching movies. Or going shopping together.
13.) how do you know when you’re in love?
When heart races everytime I get the chance to talk to them. When someone shows me they want me and appreciate me I just feel all bubbly.
When all I can think about is how to make them smile and seeing their face again. Constantly wondering what else I can do to better their life.
14.) have you been in love?
Yes I have it was beautiful unfortunately it was given to someone that didn't appreciate me and threw me away after treating me poorly. Really the only time I've truly been in love.
15.) favorite romcom trope?
Powerful female characters that fall in love with nerds after making the nerd see things from their perspective.
16.) what’s your favorite aesthetic other than lovecore?
Catboy aesthetic. Really a dream goal🥰
17.) favorite romantic movie?
Hmmm this is a hard one i loved the princess switch movies. I love so many romance movies and I've seen so many.
18.) ideal date?
Small things like taking me out to dinner I'd honestly cry if someone asked me out. Or Chinese and movies on the couch I'm really not too picky I just want a first date lol.
19.) what would you give your partner for a romantic gift?
Something they've talked about wanting but would never get for themselves. Something they've had their eye on that I noticed means alot to them. Of course paired with their favorite meal.
20.) what would you want to receive from a partner as a romantic gift?
Affection attention. Constant validation. I don't really need gives I just need Constant reminders that they appreciate me and want me in their life. Maybe a collar but I'd wanna pick it out together.
21.) why do you like lovecore?
Because I'm a hopeless romantic. Its all I've ever thought about or wanted for my life. I've never had any of this stuff and I feel a void because of that. I dream of the day I can express ny love and be appreciated for the huge amount of love and care I provide.
22.) what do you think love is? like, how would you explain the concept
Love is sticking with someone through the hard times as well as the good. Love is communication and always considering how your decisions would effect your partner. Love is constantly trying to show how much you want someone In your life. Love is being there even when its hard and growing together.
23.) do you believe in love at first sight?
No I believe in lust at first sight but I believe true love comes from learning someones personality and seeing how they act and treat you.
24.) have you ever crushed on a friend?
Yes a few times
25.) have you ever crushed on a stranger?
Yes once or twice strong ladies showing their strength just ooooofffff makes me so weak
26.) celebrity crush?
Lil markio shes such a bad ass and her voice is adorable her scream is intimidating and her songs are perfect.
27.) do you have a crush on any fictional characters?
A few from animes mostly dominant strong girls.
28.) matte or shiny?
Oo depends on what object.
29.) bright or dull colors?
Bright.
30.) do you have a favorite lovecore blog?
if so, what is it?
No I don't I love most of them so muchhh
31.) favorite love song?
Everytime you leave is probably a favorite but I got a few
32.) <3 or ♥️?
<3
33.) do your best heart spam!! (ex. 💗🏳️‍🌈💗💓💓💝🍓💝💫✨💫💞💝💗⭐️💘💓💗💞♥️)
💟🤍💛🖤💙💛💜♥️🥰🥰💫💫💛🧡💚🙉💞💕💗💖💝💘💌
Thank you for the asks!!!
Hope to get more attention soon from you🥰🥰
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Jason swore loudly and had to resist the urge to throw his controller down, pissed that he kept dying cause of the game's stupid glitches (Also known as own mistakes). Still, he regained his composure, and smiled before saying
"Alright chat, we're gonna finish up this one and then we're gonna move on to another game. There should be a poll on top for what we do next"
Jason was a moderately successfully game streamer, averaging about 200 to 300 viewers a night, entirely based on his wit and skill. He knew for sure that they weren't coming for his looks, given his weedy, thin frame, overly pimpled face and large, nerdy glasses. Still, it was enough for him, and he was happy with the progress that he'd made.
As Jason got himself set up for the next game, he heard a shocking sound from above him. The victory theme from one of his favorite JRPGs was blaring through the speakers, and he came up, staring at the screen in shock. He knew what that sound meant. That meant someone had tipped him one thousand dollars, completely out of nowhere.
He looked in shock at the notification on the stream, seeing that it was from someone named JockBro69, with the simple message "Can't wait to get to know you better, cutie~"
Jason was completely stunned. Not only had someone actually redeemed the donation goal that he set as a joke (That being that whoever was stupid enough to tip 1000 dollars got to have a 15 minute private chat with him), it was also someone that he'd never seen in his chat before.
Thoroughly weirded out, but knowing that he had to honor his commitment, he sent the guy a quick private message.
"Dude, I don't know how to thank you enough! Guess I'll see ya pretty soon!"
With that, he sent the man his private zoom link, and said goodbye to the chat, who were still going wild over this turn of events, before pausing,the stream and hopping over to discord for the call.
Not two seconds after his stream stopped, he got a requested video call on discord from the guy, and he opened it up, giving a second for the video to load, but when it did, he was completely dumbfounded again. He was expecting the mysterious donator to be some fat, sweaty silicon valley nerd with too much and money on his hands, but instead what met him was possibly the hottest man he's ever seen, standing up and looking down at his webcam with a friendly expression.
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"Fuck, bro! Its so good to finally fucking meet you, I've been such a big fan for a long time, and this is a really big deal for me~
The man had a deep, rumbling, pleasant voice, that shot straight down Jacob's spine and left him feeling strangely... inadequate. Like the fact that his voice wasn't as smooth or melodic as this guy's was his fault, and he should be ashamed of that fact. Still, this guy was pretty pleasant to look at, Jason had to admit. He wasn't gay, definitely not, but he could acknowledge when another guy simply looked good.
Jason scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not entirely sure of what he should do or say. Still, this guy spent 1000 dollars on this meeting, so he had to try anyway.
"So, umm.... I see your username is jockbro69... What's your actual name thought? I don't think I've ever seen you in chat before..."
The other man actually laughed at this, before looking confused and saying
"What are you talking about bro? Its me, Ethan! I'm in your chat all the time! Man, I guess what they say about playing games so much is true, huh?"
At this statement, Jason actually went pale with shock. THIS was Ethan? This was the guy who's username used to be runningLink? Who was an active fan of the zelda series, constantly begged Jason to play them, and bemoaned the fact that no would date him? It just didn't seem right...
Still, Jason, ever the semi professional, continued on, pretending that he wasn't shocked at the news.
"Well, thanks for supporting me so much! Seriously, this means a lot to me... Ummm... so I guess tell me some of your favorite things about the channel then!"
The man laughed again, the sound coming out in a slow, dumb chuckle, before saying
"What's my favorite thing? Do I even have to say, bro? Its the amazing piece of eye candy I'm looking at right now. You're super hot, bro~"
At this, Jason was shocked, but he chuckled awkwardly while blushing, and said
"Really? I don't think I've ever heard a single person say that before. I guess I consider myself slightly below average..."
The guy looked confused at that, before pressing on
"Really, bro? You look super hot to me, you got those bright, blinding blue eyes that you can just get lost in~"
At this point, Jason knew the man was just messing with him. His eyes have always, and will always be a dark, muddy brown, hidden behind his massive frames. Jason was about to respond, when Ethan continued
"Yeah, and you got that super stylish haircut too, really makes you look super masculine~"
Now Jason was REALLY confused. The guy was right, he did always get complements on his eyes, the bright, shocking blue visible and striking even through his huge glasses. But his hair was always a long, unkempt greasy mess.
"Ethan, are you sure you're okay, you're not just seeing things? Cause I don't know what you're talking about"
Ethan ignored the comment, just continuing to press on
"And you've got that hot, manly face, with your strong jaw and amazing profile"
Jason was confused again. Sure, his stylish haircut did help him look much better, but his face had always been pretty androgynous, with hints of baby fat still present in his cheeks. Again, before he could interrupt, Ethan continued,
"And you've got that smooth smooth skin, that hot stubble, that sexy smirk of yours. You're the full package bro~"
Jason laughed at this. Ethan was clearly being way too complementary. Sure his face had a great shape to it, with strong cheekbones and a square jaw, but his skin was still acne marked as hell, his smile was crooked and awkward, and he'd never been able to grow any facial hair, no matter how much he tried.
"I really have no idea what you're talking about Ethan. Sure I've got some good features, but the overall package isn't much to write home about~"
Ethan smirked again, his eyes lighting up with humor, as if he knew something I didn't.
"Nah, bro, you're underselling yourself. Plus, you've got that body~"
"What about my body? I think its pretty average, though I guess I'm a bit on the skinny side..."
Jason looked down at himself, trying to contemplate what Ethan meant. Sure, he'd been blessed with an attractive, manly face, but it didn't change the fact that his body was still below average at best.
"Again, bro! Putting yourself down. You really think those massive logs you have for arms are below average?"
Jason looked down at his skinny arms, and said
"More like logs than twigs man, seriously."
"And what about your legs? You've spent so long working on em, you've got thighs and glutes to kill for~"
Jason laughed again
"I dunno man! Most people say the exact opposite. They say I spend too much time on arms and not enough on my torso and legs. What can I say though? I love having big, beefy arms."
"Of course you do, bro? Who wouldn't? Especially when right in between em, you got your big, pillowy chest, your sexy abs, and your super toned back~"
Jason was seriously starting to wonder if Ethan was on something. Anyone could clearly see from first glance that Jason's body was badly proportioned, his arms and legs being massive from months to years of work, while he neglected his back, pecs and ab muscles. Still, he thought he looked pretty alright honestly.
"And I especially love how you're not only super sexy, you know it and flaunt it~ I don't think I've ever seen you once wear a shirt. The most you'll wear is a necklace, and even then, not like that covers anything, bro~ Only makes you look sexier"
Now here Jason had to disagree. He knew that he had cultivated and developed an amazing body over his years of going to the gym, but that was all for his own personal satisfaction. He never flaunted it unnecessarily, especially not during a stream.
"And I love the fact that you're such a fucking bro, bro. Every other word out of your mouth is bro and dude, you can't go even five minutes without flexing and thinking of fucking, or going to the gym, or hanging out with your other hot bros. We all know that your brain is basically only good for working out and looking hot. No smart's up there. And you've got your deep, sexy voice, too. Makes it even hotter that you're a gay bro, just like me"
Jason HAD to laugh at that. What the guy was saying was just so ridiculous.
"What the hell are you talking about? Look, I know that I like to show off my sexy body a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm some kind of dumb jock. And I'm definitely straight, dude. Don't know why you'd think I'm gay"
Ethan pressed on, completely unabashed by Jason's last comments.
"But you know the best fucking part, bro? Its that power of yours. The fact that any weak ass nerd who looks at you and your huge fucking muscles grows into a hot, dumb bro like us within seconds~"
Jason was busy flexing, staring at his own bicep in awe, as if he was shocked by him impressive he was. He looked up at Ethan blearily, saying
"Sorry, bro, what'd you say? I guess I got a bit fucking distracted. Huhuhu. But who could blame me~"
"Nah, it was nothing bro. You don't need to worry about it. Now should head back to the stream?"
Jason gasped in excitement, having forgotten entirely about the fact that there was a whole stream audience full of lame ass nerds, just ready for him to make as sexy as he and Ethan were.
"You got it bro~ This is gonna be so fucking hot~"
Jason left the call, going back to the stream and restarting, glad to see that a full 300 people were still watching, even through the extended break. The second he turned his camera on, he could see that people were confused for some reason, saying a stranger broke into his house. How stupid could these people be? How did they not recognize him? Still, not like it would matter for long...
"Hey bros! How're we all fucking doing? Welcomes to today's stream..."
He trailed off, looking blankly at the camera, before saying
"You know what? Fuck video games! Who needs them when you can do this~"
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And as his pecs bounced and bounced hypnotically, the chat slowly transitioned from messages like "What the fuck is happening?" or "Who is this dumb jock?" to "Fuck, bro! Your pecs look so fucking hot today!" and "Huhuhu, I love making my pecs bounce like Jace's~"
And so the stream continued, Jace showing everyone all the amazing things his body could do, while anyone that was watching, whether they wanted to or not, began to copy him exactly. And as the stream went on, the viewer count rose, and rose, and rose...
1K notes · View notes
love-takes-work · 3 years
Text
Notes on SU Commentary Tracks
I watched the commentary tracks on the Complete Steven Universe DVD Set and I took some nerd notes.
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The episodes with commentary tracks are “Reunited,” “Change Your Mind,” and “The Future.”
I’ll bold stuff that was maybe bigger news or more surprising for easier reading. And yes, some of this was already known from podcasts, other Q&As, or interviews, but I listed it if they said it again here.
Read on after the jump to read these and other highlights:
Steven’s original wedding speech
Older ideas on dialogue for Lapis when she came back to the beach
Scrapped concepts for the scene that ultimately included Steven communicating with the others in a mindscape
Discussions of earlier concepts for White Diamond having a power to “freeze” Gems into statues to make them perfect and having a gallery of them on Homeworld
Pink Pearl’s original fate
The translation of the writing on Obsidian’s sword
The origin of Pink Steven’s design
What Rebecca did to pitch the “SHE’S GONE” scene
Earlier plans to include Shep in “Change Your Mind”
An unused concept of how Steven feels about Biggs
The inspiration for the Heaven and Earth Beetles’ healed design
How Volleyball/Pink Pearl was almost a mini-villain
Discussion of how they did not get to share the origin of the Diamonds
Jasper’s scrapped participation in the movie
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“Reunited” - 
Commentary with Rebecca Sugar, Ben Levin, Matt Burnett, Hilary Florido, Joe Johnston, Ian Jones-Quartey, and Kat Morris.
In 2015, an episode idea called “If You Love Yourself So Much” was discussed but rejected. It included some early ideas that ended up getting incorporated into “Reunited,” most notably Garnet marrying herself and putting rings on both hands.
The idea of the Cluster arm wrestling was planned for a long time. A scrapped idea of Steven banging his fist on a vending machine to get some Chaaaaps was supposed to visually parallel some of that scene, but it was axed.
When they got pushback on the wedding idea, they kept adding more and more “high entertainment value” items like a big musical number so the episode would be absolutely unmissable and appealing to everyone.
The song at the beginning of the episode was meant to check in with the entire cast and sort of remind you they exist and what their state of mind is going into the wedding.
Ian made a comment joking about “All 15 people in Beach City” being in the audience.
Just about everyone on the Crew touched this episode, despite that there are four main storyboarders credited for “Reunited.”
In 2016 Ian Jones-Quartey proposed marriage to Rebecca Sugar. They felt like the characters based on them (Sapphire and Ruby) HAD to get married in the show now because otherwise it wouldn’t be honest. But then their characters got married before they did.
They really love the idea of having characters get married who have known each other for a really long time, versus the fairy tale trope of movies ending with weddings between people who have met very recently.
Steven’s speech as officiator at the wedding used to be longer in its first draft--it was described as being weird and full of jokes, and there would have been a scene with Pearl getting weepy and pulling tissues out of her pearl.
Ian mentions loving a joke Jeff came up with having Greg play one chord to make Steven fall asleep--it’s sort of a “dream” chord you hear in cartoons a lot before a dream sequence.
The Crew discussed what it might be like if someone had never seen the show before and started with this episode.
Ian really wanted Steven’s psychic powers to figure into the episode.
Blue using a sadness wave to attack the Gems was a very old idea they’d planned for a long time. So was Lapis’s arrival.
There was a discussion of having Lisa Hannigan performing her lines as Blue VERY early in the morning.
Ian was happy the sword got broken because it was so momentous but it was just a sword. And later appeared on a shelf in the house as an artifact.
Miki had drawn a torn dress for Garnet at one point so she could be shown fighting and moving around more accurately, and this led to a long discussion of whether Gem clothing can even actually get torn the way human clothes can. They concluded that no, it shouldn’t be torn, so they backed up and gave Garnet an open-front dress from the beginning so the fighting version would make more sense.
Lapis originally might have had a longer speech upon arriving back on the beach. They eventually decided to just have her say “Hey.”
The barn falling on Blue Diamond was an intentional Wizard of Oz reference.
They point out that Steven even once said “drop the barn on the beach” (in a previous episode, “Can’t Go Back,” which was also a Miki episode).
Destroying the house was a big deal, and they always thought they’d end up doing it but backed away from it until “Reunited.” They almost even did it back in “Coach Steven”! But it just ended up with a little damage to the porch.
The Crew thinks Miki is really good at drawing ensemble shots.
Rebecca was always overwhelmed whenever she got to have Patti LuPone record for Yellow.
Originally the giant figures of everyone’s statue bodies in the mindscape were too dark and had to be revamped so they could be seen.
An earlier idea of Steven’s “psychic-ghost-situation” had him as a ghost actually trying to interact with the other characters during fighting action, but it was pulled back to this mindscape so there wouldn’t be as much confusing action to keep track of and more focus on what Steven was doing to encourage his teammates and contact the Diamonds.
Hilary was glad not to have to block out a fight.
Ian mentions loving having Bismuth back in the group.
They originally wanted the “Diamonds sensing Pink’s energy” plot to happen when Steven was in the palace somehow, but everything got moved to this scene--which the Crew all agrees turned out incredible, like how cool it was to have Steven essentially reminding each character why they fight and summing up their whole arc in a sentence.
“Change Your Mind”
Commentary with Rebecca Sugar, Ben Levin, Matt Burnett, Hilary Florido, Joe Johnston, Ian Jones-Quartey, and Kat Morris.
They like to refer to this episode as “The movie before the movie.”
They loved incorporating “princess tropes” into Steven’s time on Homeworld, which is why there were so many references to “mice” (well, Pebbles) making clothes, being locked in a tower, being reminded of his manners, loving animals and freeing imprisoned pets, etc. 
Deedee did the voice of the rainbow worm pet. She apparently didn’t find it memorable and was surprised when she was reminded she did the voice.
Rebecca was super excited for the confrontation with Blue.
There was some discussion of how Steven would have died of starvation if he didn’t have someone practical like Connie to remember to bring food.
They love working with the huge scale the Diamonds present.
The Crew always wanted to put someone in Blue’s hair loop. Originally they wanted Blue to tuck Greg in there when she kidnapped him, but they didn’t end up being able to do any hair-loop-carrying until this episode.
The Crew bantered back and forth about what the heck those Pebbles’ names were and how hard it was to track them.
They agreed that Paul draws the best Yellow Diamond, which makes sense since he also drew the first episode with Yellow (and her stink face). 
The scene where Yellow asks Blue to stop using her powers on her and then realizing she’s crying on her own was one of Rebecca’s favorite scenes to get to finally.
Steven Sugar thought Gems would spend a lot of time in their own chambers/rooms just not really doing much of anything unless they had to fulfill their purpose.
Some of the Homeworld ideas were based on a Soviet artist’s concepts, Boris Artzybasheff, and also many ideas were inspired by Busby Berkeley regarding how people were objects and furniture.
The mech was an old idea. Once they had the hand ship from “Jailbreak,” they knew there had to be bodies somewhere.
They focused a lot about what could be the coolest and funniest way for something to happen. The concept of the yellow and blue spaceship arms appearing out of the sky to smack the White Diamond mech around was one of those.
Rebecca really wanted things to look more and more cartoony and bizarre as you get deeper into Homeworld.
They spent a very long time trying to decide on characters’ new outfits.
The trash can lid is said to be a reference to “a flying bear cartoon” and they dance around speaking a direct reference because they’re not sure they’re allowed to say its name.
In discussing the powers of the Diamonds, there were debates on what White’s power would be; with Yellow being physicality-based and Blue being emotion-based, they thought White as identity-based made the most sense.
Different ways to express this were played with before settling on the idea that she thinks she’s perfect and others’ colors make them less like her and less perfect. But then she becomes a hostage to her own beliefs about herself because if she does anything that reflects on everyone else, so it’s best to do nothing.
They had some cool earlier ideas of White’s powers making statues out of other Gems and having a gallery full of frozen Gems, frozen by White to make them perfect.
They also weren’t sure what fate befell the original Pink Pearl and discussed whether she might have been destroyed. 
Rebecca discussed how creepy it was to have White Pearl speaking in Christine’s voice and not Deedee’s--that we should find it fundamentally disturbing at this point.
Tom Herpich came up with the crack on White Pearl’s face.
In real life, pink diamonds aren’t understood as well as yellows and blues. It’s more known what makes a diamond yellow or blue, and some of those facts Rebecca researched were originally woven into the speech White gave about their “impurities.” But it turned out to be too dry and most of it got cut.
Rebecca loves having Lapis with pants and sandals for easier cosplay.
Ian had to draw the scene where Steven is falling and fusing with inert characters--he wasn’t able to properly explain it to Rebecca so she had him draw it.
They really wanted Rainbow Quartz 2.0 to have a scarf, but they couldn’t figure out how to get that into Pearl’s design. They miss the scarf.
It was really important to have these Fusions display call-forwards of the Gems’ new outfits which we hadn’t yet seen.
Rebecca points out that Sunstone’s design breaks a design rule and she feels like Sunstone should have Garnet’s pant leg colors on their legs, but at the same time she understands the rule of cool and likes it like this.
It’s discussed how none of Steven’s fusion weapons are exclusively offensive weapons either.
Rebecca still really wants a suction cup Sunstone toy.
Sunstone’s ability to transcend reality and break the fourth wall was a joke that exploded in the discussion room among the Crew. As soon as the idea was pitched everyone kept coming up with ideas. Sardonyx’s fourth-wall-breaking is more snarky, but Sunstone’s is helpful.
Rebecca was disappointed that the rule about Steven’s clothes wasn’t always followed with having his clothes appear on Obsidian’s hand, but she was delighted that you could see them in one scene.
They spent a lot of discussion time on making sure Steven-Obsidian was different somehow from Rose-Obsidian. The hair is different.
Old versions of Obsidian were drawn with wrapped-together Twizzlers legs, which sort of is reflected in the present design.
The sword had been planned forever--and it first appeared in “Bubble Buddies.”
Miki worked on the Ninja Turtles show so Rebecca was really excited to see her depictions of Bismuth and Sunstone.
An early plan to have Obsidian draw the sword from their mouth was complicated because fusion weapons should be combinations, so they finally reached the solution of having them combine to make the hilt, then get the blade out of Obsidian’s mouth.
The blade of the sword is thought to say “We’ll always save the day,” but you’d have to ask Steven Sugar.
Another really old idea was climbing into the White Diamond mech eye.
Rebecca was disappointed that some of the merch made of White Diamond did not feature her cape sparkles.
There were many debates early on about where Rose might “actually” be. There were tons of references to this fundamental question throughout the show--introducing Lapis as a Gem trapped in an object, having Pearl ponder pulling Steven’s Gem out as a baby, straight-up wondering what would happen to him in “Bubbled” when Eyeball was trying to take his Gem, etc. They all decided Rose was definitely gone but that the idea of her possibly being inside him should be on his mind a lot, leading to disturbing images like dreaming about coughing up her hair.
Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond both challenged Steven about things he was very confident about, but White’s question of his identity got to him because he in fact is not confident about that.
The black and white eeriness of the fuzzy background and the other characters having their colors washed out helped make the scene in White Diamond’s head so disturbing and creepy.
The split screen showing Steven’s two perspectives was exciting to Rebecca, and was a pretty old idea. And she points out it sort of “breaks the show.”
The Gem Steven, Pink Steven, was represented by a slightly modified version of his model sheet. Everyone laughed when they saw what was getting used.
They decided that an earlier idea of Pink Steven looking angry should be replaced by an emotionless version of him. All the emotion should be with Organic Steven.
In the pitch meeting for this episode, Rebecca herself screamed “SHE’S GONE!!” and shocked the hell out of everyone. She pointed out how no one expected this of her because she’s pretty quiet, but she just wanted to shock everyone the way Steven would in the show.
They point out this is the first appearance of the geometric shield that got so much use in Future.
The fact that Steven is Steven is the ultimate reveal of the show. Usually in fantasy shows there’s some other kind of revelation, but Steven just being amazingly human and amazingly Gem and amazingly himself is wonderful here.
They like having the pilot reference with “What’s your excuse?”
If Rose had somehow still been alive in him, all of this would have been cheapened.
Ian loves that you can faintly hear Sadie’s concert from way out in space as the camera approaches Earth.
They got a lot more use out of the Beach-A-Palooza stage than they thought they would when it had to be designed for “Steven and the Stevens.” There was a joke about how at one of the conventions a real Beach-A-Palooza stage was constructed and they had a thought about how oh good, it’s getting reused.
Sadie having green hair in the finale was a late change but they liked showing her progression. 
They had originally kicked around the idea of Sadie already having her new partner Shep at this point, but decided to develop that in Future instead.
They compare White Diamond’s stepping gingerly into the fountain to skeptically getting into a public pool.
Some silliness they didn’t get to use was that Biggs would be “beloved by everyone” except Steven. They never got to cover it, but originally Steven was just going to not really understand why everyone loves her so much and doesn’t personally much care for her.
The Heaven and Earth Beetles are based on the Mothra Ladies.
The healed Gems’ horns are supposed to be side effects of the corruption that they continue to bear in the present.
Larimar and Orange Spodumene ended up different in the ending scene than they became in Future. Many of the designs were retroactively pulled into this scene after being designed for the movie.
Rebecca wrote “Change Your Mind” as a personal song to express her feelings surrounding her fight for the wedding.
“The Future”
Commentary with Rebecca Sugar, Kat Morris, Alonso Ramirez Ramos, Hilary Florido, Joe Johnston, and Ian Jones-Quartey.
The animatic for this episode ran SO long--they’re supposed to be just over 11 minutes but this one was 17 minutes.
Steven’s calisthenics routine, a callback to “Future Vision,” was on the chopping block to make the episode shorter but Rebecca wouldn’t allow it to be cut because she wanted to show that Steven’s been taking care of himself.
They were very excited to get a chance to cover some of the things in Future that they couldn’t squeeze into the original show, like the unbubbled Rose Quartzes, Volleyball, etc.
The new writers on the show also helped bring forward the idea of Steven finally making some of his OWN mistakes to fix.
This also helped construct the idea of Steven essentially being the “final boss” of his own battle.
Usually stories that involve someone being in a fight and winning don’t explore the effect just being in a fight has on a person, regardless of whether you won. 
Rebecca really wanted to play Ocarina of Time after beating it so she could go back to all the places and see how people were doing. She wanted this epilogue series to explore that a little too.
Little Homeschool is sort of a Tiny Toons reference--older cartoons teach younger cartoons how to be cartoons, and this is Gems teaching other Gems how to be Gems on Earth. 
Lamar came up with the silly joke about receiving that art set with all the different media types in it--the one artists are always getting from a well-meaning relative at holiday time.
A scrapped plot idea involved Volleyball/Pink Pearl as a sort of “mini-villain,” with a focus on her activating the un-activated Pearls.
There’s discussion of how victimization turns people into villains sometimes. But since showing that happening with Volleyball wouldn’t have served the interests of Steven’s arc, they couldn’t fit it in.
There was also a “very specific” Gem origin and Diamond origin story that’s quasi-religious in nature--it’s very cool and complicated. But they do not tell us what it is.
Ian and Joe both really wanted to have Jasper living alone in the woods and stacking rocks. They’re glad they got this series to do that with her.
There was originally an idea for a B-plot involving Jasper in the movie. They don’t discuss the specifics.
There were many ideas they didn’t get to work on because they would have started new arcs and Future was not about kicking new plots into gear.
“Mr. Universe” was the last episode they wrote/finished.
Miki really wanted to include a kiss between Connie and Steven to show their relationship was okay. Among the Crew everyone knew their relationship was basically eternal but Miki wanted to make sure WE knew that.
Steven driving conveyed momentum for Future; in the original show, we always came back to the laundry hand, back to home, but in Future that’s changed and home isn’t what it was. 
They were really excited that a gourd family made it to the crowd scene in Future.
Thanks for reading!
Note: The movie had some commentary tracks too, but the one on this DVD set is the same as the one released on the original standalone movie DVD, so I did not outline it here. Here is my post about the DVD commentary from the movie.
864 notes · View notes
dystopia-fantasy · 3 years
Text
Always read the job description -Part 1
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Max was a fit, well built man. He had been body building since he was 14 and now In his early 40s he has the body of a god, but is slowly getting to the age when he needs to find another way to make money. He knows he can't take part in his competitions anymore, and needs to take it easy. He got great grades in school and college, proving people wrong that you can't be a nerd in a jock body.
Max had some money saved and was able to keep up on bills for a few months but needed a job to keep his large house, in the rich area of the city. He got a call from a business he applied to a couple of days ago, telling him to go in for an interview tomorrow, and if it goes well he will be sent straight on a trip for the company. He gets his new blue suit ready to be worn the next day.
The morning arrives, it's 5am, and Max wakes. He does his normal morning routine, making breakfast, working out, taking a shower, then gets his suit on ready for his early morning interview. Driving to the office building in the middle of New York, it's at least 50 stories high, and is made of mostly glass, and is one of the newest modern builds in the city.
On arrival a large man in his late 60s wearing a suit greets him, "hello sir, you must be max, Sir Mammon is on his way down to collect you, may I say what an amazing suit you have on today".
Max looks the man up and down, seeing the man's huge belly flowing out from under his dress shirt, showing a massive W shape, "thanks mate, you might want a bigger shirt" then points to his belly.
"sorry if I offended you sir, but all clothing has been chosen by Sir Mammon himself" Mammon is the big boss of the business "if you would like to make a complaint I can print you a form".
Max laughs, "No thanks, I'm gonna sit over there, tell Mammon im there".
"will do sir, have a great day" the man says while max walks away paying no more attention to him.
About 15 minutes later a young handsome slender man walks over. "Max is it?" He says behind Max.
"yes.." max says confused.
"I'm Mammon, nice to meet you" he smiles holding his hand out for a shake.
"oh hello Mammon, is wasn't expecting someone so young, no offence of course" max shaking his hand.
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Mammon let's out a little laugh, with a little grin "it's ok max, people don't expect someone like me to own such a remarkable company like this one would you like to follow me, we can go up to my office, this is Mark by the way, he's my Butler". Mark is another large man aged around 50, he has a massive belly stuffed into his suit, hes huffing and puffing, like he ran a marithon, "don't mind him, most of my staff are..."
Max cuts him off "fat?"
They both laugh, "you could say that Max" the elevator arrives and they all walk in, "now max, you did read the whole advertisement correct?".
Max didn't, it's was 48 pages long, who would read it all? He just looked at the wage he would get, it started at $100,000 per month. "Yes, I did".
"that's good, most guys are more keen to keep their body's but I guess if your struggling you'll do anything."
Max now confused just nod's and watches though the glass elevator as they fly up to the top floor.
"where here sir" Mark the butler says peacefully in his British accent.
They walk into the room, and Mammon sits at his desk pouring himself a glass of wisky, and Max one too. Max looks around in aww, the room was covered in art work, with the walls painted in golds and whites and had its own bar. "How do you have all this money?" Max asked.
"a mix of many things, this company, and a few investments paid for this whole building, I have many other ways but we're not here for that." Mammon points at the seat," take a seat max" Max sits the chair is made from leather and is very comfy. "So, max, I've gone through your file, I think you're perfect for the job."
"so, does that mean I have the job?" Max replies confused, expecting to be asked a question.
"well yes, if you agree to the terms"
"terms?" Max still confused.
"well yes, you expect to be paid 10times the amount the normal person for this job without any terms or conditions?"
"well I didn't know.." Max gets cut off.
"Max let me simplify them for you. You sacrifice your body to the company, and in trade you get, $100k X the amount you weigh paid into your account per month, So if you weigh 450lbs, you get $450k a month."
"what the fuck? That's sick, I'm not doing that, I'm leaving" and with that Max got up from the chair and stood face to face with Mammon, with the desk all that is separating them. "Your sick, you fa**ot".
With that Mammon's eyes glow a bright red. "I'm a what?" Max got through back against the chair by an invisible force. "Max you could have just left with your freedom, but now look what you've gotten yourself into".
"Let me go, What the fuck?" Max says while traped against that chair, it chreeking with the force of his muscle.
"I'm a fucking demon max, I'm never going to 'let you go'" he took a second break to mock max, "now, what did you say? Fa**ot, was it?".
"fuck, I didn't mean it" the force pins him down harder, trapping his arms against the leather chair arms, and pushing his legs against the underboard. "Please let me go home, I won't do it again."
"shut up max, the process is already starting".
Max looks down to see his body deflating, his pecs turning from mountain peaks to a flat surface, his giant powerful arms turning weak and light. And then looking up he sees a whole new man infront of him.
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"Not as big as I thought I would get, but boy I'm big" he took a break to admire his new giant arms and pecs.
"what the?" Max looks in confusion, "how did you do that? Give me them back".
"what are you gonna do max? I'm an infinitely powerful being and you, your an old man, or at least your going to be."
"I'm only 42, what do you mean, going to be?"
"you see I don't have my infinite life span on earth, so to stay alive and in this fit body, I absorb anything a guy has and I want. In your case, these massive muscles, but then I need to absorb their life force as well, in order to make sure I don't age."
"what do you mean life force?"
"well, you have roughly 50 years, worth of life left, I'll drain about 20 years leaving you in your future crippled body at around age 60, force you to work for the company for another 20 years, then when your 80 drain the rest of your life, which after you get fat won't be much, then you got to hell."
"man your sick, let me go, LET ME GO!".
A bright red light shoots from Peters hand enveloping Max's whole body, and he starts to age, his face wrinkling, skin dropping, eye sight worsening, hearing getting muffled, and mind changing a little. "Max, you ok old man?".
"yes sir" max was confused in his mind, why did he say sir?
"max, you ready for your Cruise? You can have tones of food for the next 6 months."
"Yes sir, I'm ready" max lifts his head, opening his eyes to see a new blurry room from his new old eyes.
"you're gonna need these from now on" Peters eyes glow and a new pair of glasses appear on Max's face he can now see clear.
"thank you... Sir", max blinks seeing Peter infront of him, "what have you, done to me".
"Max, I've turned you into the perfect office worker, old, brainiac, who is soon going to get fat and live the rest of his life, in an office chair for me, don't worry for accomodation you live here now, we have apartments on floor 30 to 40, all workers live here, it's policy, we have also sent a team to your house to, well, blow it up, that way nobody is going to be looking for you, becuase we can plant a body"
"give me... My.... Body back, give me... My.. life back."
"Max we both know that will never happen, now enjoy a life of gluttony, and prepare yourself for hell, that's gonna be worse then anything I can do to you." Peter snaped his fingers and a red glow enveloped max.
Recovering from the glow max sees two men infront of him with a trolly of sorts between them. "Is he awake" one says,
"I don't know" said the other.
"im- awake" max said in a much older raspy voice.
"good we can now start the feeding" the man on the left said, his body as muscled as a god, ripped from head to toe, and we can see everything.
Max rubs his eyes under his glasses and opens them again, "Fucking hell, put some clothes on both of you".
Both men where nude, one a ripped god, another muscled up but with a big gut. "Clothes are banned here mate" the beefy man said in a type of Australia accent, "you cant say much fella, look at that tiny pecker".
The men laughed pointing at Max's shriveled up old cock and low hanging balls, "what the fuck"max tries to move his arm to cover him but his arm doesn't move, he looks down to see him stuck in a chair, with a cut out hole under his ass, and straps tying him down, trapping him. "What... Are you gonna do to me?" Max asked sceared.
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The men laughed at him again, "no need to act to sceared, we're here to feed you for the next 6 months".
"but... Sir said..." Max get cut off.
"he said you'd be going on a cruise? Fucking hell are you dumb? He's a demon, you shouldn't trust a demon" The muscled guy says.
"bro let's start the feeding we have 50 other guys to see and I wanna watch football Tonight." The beefy guys says, and in unison both their eyes glowed a bright red, showing they where demons too.
The trolly between them had several items on top, one long tube, which floated in the air for a few moments before shoving itself down maxes nostril and deep into his stomach, his head flipped back trying to wriggle it out, but it was stuck. Another item moved into his frame, a IV bag holder, holding a giant barrel type object made of glass, and two large bags floated of the table again and started to drain into the barrel, and the tube connected itself to it, starting a flow of the liquid into maxes stomach.
"done" the beffy guy said. "Now we'll be back tomorrow to refill your barrel, and clean you up if you make a mess, but youll basically be unconscious for the next 6 months, due to the drugs were feeding you."
"so enjoy your sleep mate, you'll litterally wake up a different man." The two men laughed and walked out, max tried fighting the restraints but in his crippled form could do nothing. The door slammed and locked, and the room fell dark, max screamed begging into the darkness to be let free, and to have his life back, which he had only an hour before, but nothing happened, nobody came. He felt the drugs taking effect, but tried to fight back, but it was useless, his body slumped and loosened. His mind fell blank as he drifted of into his 6 month hibernation.
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soundsof71 · 3 years
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FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!
aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!
Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women. 
(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but  not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)
There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these. 
Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)
I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music. 
The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.
1) BULLY, SUGAREGG
Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney. 
I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.
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“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week
Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here. 
TURN IT UP!
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2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY
Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me
‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic
I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.
Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.” 
(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)
This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!
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3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM
“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music
“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!
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4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE
It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)
Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other! 
I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!
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5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?
Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)
As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters. 
I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL
“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.
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I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power
I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow
So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too! 
Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!
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SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too. 
And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.
Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.
Yr pal, Timmy
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jeonjeonggukenergy · 4 years
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Anti-Hero
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summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.
pairing ~ jungkook x reader
genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au
wordcount ~ 8.5k
warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie
a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️
previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!) 
~ read on ao3 ~
CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect
You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.
Jungkook? What the fuck?
Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.
You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.
~
Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.
After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.
hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )
His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.
"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!
You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.
Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?
~
You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.
"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."
"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"
"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"
You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.
After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.
You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."
"Do you like it too?" you wondered.
"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."
"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.
"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."
Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."
"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.
You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.
Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"
"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."
"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."
You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."
"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.
While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.
Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"
Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"
"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"
"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.
Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.
After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.
He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.
"Is this okay?"
His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.
"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."
Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.
"Well, I've never had sex sober."
Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."
You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"
"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.
"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"
"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"
"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."
With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."
Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.
"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.
"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."
He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."
"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."
You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.
"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"
Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:
"I love that feeling."
You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"
"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."
"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"
You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.
"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."
His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."
You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."
"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.
"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."
"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"
Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."
"Fuuuuuuuuck."
A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.
"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.
"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"
Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.
"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."
Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."
Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.
"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."
You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.
"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."
In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.
"Your room?" You rushed out the words.
Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"
"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.
"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.
You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.
"Giving you exactly what you want."
"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.
He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."
You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."
He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.
Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.
Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."
Another spank. "Mmmf."
"You like this, huh?"
"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.
"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."
He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.
"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.
"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.
"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.
"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.
"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.
"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.
"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.
"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."
His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.
"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.
"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."
"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."
"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."
Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.
You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"
"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"
"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"
"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.
"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."
To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.
"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.
"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"
"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.
"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."
So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.
You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."
A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.
You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.
Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.
"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.
"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.
He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.
A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.
952 notes · View notes
jackest-jack · 3 years
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I would very much like to hear about your spooky scary Sirens, pretty please 🥺
AJKSJAKISJAJAJF Ok so I almost had a heart attack when I saw you were following me because YOU’RE SO COOL so thank you
I already wrote about my spooky scary sirens over here, and they have pictures and I would be willing to write a short thing with them later but for right now I’m gonna pick a different thing and blab about it.
The most fleshed out and cohesive thing I have is the vampire band nerd slasheresque story with a police chase followup as well as a separate zombie apocalypse thing, so ig I’ll go with that. More under cut and warning for like a lot of gore and death and angst. I’m also only doing the first part of that because this is taking a long ass time
I came up with this in junior high, and I was in band, and I noticed that each instrument section had different personalities sort of, so I made characters around that and put them in a horror plot where they all die horribly, because what else are you gonna do? This is gonna be a plot rundown and it might get real long. (It is no longer a rundown. Its just unedited word vomit.)
anyways a bunch of friends, who I’m just gonna call by their instrument names, go camping in the woods for a couple weeks. They all take one car and set up in the middle of fuckin nowhere.
Clarinets a vampire pretending to be a high schooler for kicks, because she was 15 when she turned 5 years ago and got dragged away to the magic underworld (basically a series of safehouses and towns for the supernatural) and she wants a letterman goddamnit.
She gets adopted into a friendgroup despite her best efforts, and gets dragged along on the camping trip in the small car and close quarters with a buddy system and she hasn’t eaten anything substantial in like two months and its proving to be a problem when she starts thinking of her friends as snacks instead of people.
one night, percussionist gets up to go on a 3 am lake walk. But, the buddy system. So he takes Clarinet, who never seems to sleep anyways, with him.
They’re on the edge of a lake littered with huge old chunks of driftwood, looking out over the water, when Percussionist steps on something sharp. It went straight through his sandal and he pulls it out without much trouble, but “that nail looks kind of rusty and I’m Pretty Sure I’m bleeding a little bit, oh I hope I don’t need a shot-“
she falls on him like a cat on a wounded songbird. She has enough of her mind left to cover his mouth and stop the screams as he slowly loses blood.
He tries to fight back. He does. he jams the nail deep into her throat and twists away, but she catches his wrist and slams him backward, a sharp stick going through his stomach, sticking him bloody at the base of an old driftwood branch still attached to its old tree.
She stops draining just before he dies. And she waits, and waits, and waits. Finally, hours later, the corpse takes a deep gasp and its eyes fly open. It begins the excruciating process of pulling itself off the tree.
his wound is closed less than a minute later.
he comes to and sees her sobbing on the ground, bloody streaks under her eyes from where she tried to wipe away her tears with hands soaked from putting pressure on his stomach in a feeble attempt to save him.
“Vampires, huh?” He says, half joking, half looking for an explanation.
—-—
they’re sitting around a small campfire, and Clarinet tells him that he’s a vampire, he needs blood, he cant go back to camp or he will eat his friends. She leaves to find him something substantial before he loses it.
back at the original camp, its around sunrise. Flute notices a small trail of smoke not far off, realizes that Percussionist is missing, and gets French Horn to help him look for their idiot friend (and maybe put out a small fire.)
They make it about 3/4th of the way to the smoke when flute trips on a tree root and scrapes his knee. About a mile away, Percussionists head perks up.
He distantly realizes that he just left the campfire that he’s supposed to stay at, but he can‘t seem to care. The hunger doesn’t gnaw at him or hollow him out. Its not like looking for a fix either. Its an itch in his whole body, a near unavoidable function of his being. The hunt is as natural as a cough, a spasm of muscles to take away the awful itch.
He moves faster than he ever could before, and just to see if he can, he jumps up and begins running across the branches of trees. Its slower, but sneakier; his prey won’t see him coming.
Finally, he reaches them. He jumps on the smaller one, sending it crashing to the ground. It’s blood is what brought him here. He sinks his hollow teeth into its neck and begins feeding.
There is a scream and a crash as the taller one runs away. Thats ok. He only needs one.
———
French horn, for her part, is freaking the fuck out. The sun had just peaked over the horizon and orange light was streaming through the trees when everything went to shit.
The pale thing had fallen on Flute, and the noise he made… she was almost certain he was dead now.
She kept running. If she could make it back to camp, then maybe she could get help, or maybe leave before the rest of them died too.
She charges through a thicket, sharp thorns scraping and tearing every inch of her as she shoves her way through. She shuts her eyes as she goes, to avoid the thorns poking them out.
When she comes out the other side, she feels her gut sink.
She doesn’t recognize the trees or bushes around her. She doesn’t see a path.
She’s lost.
She wants to break down, to scream and cry the injustice to the heavens, to kick and punch and fight the thing that killed her friend, to sit down and rest and have a moment to breathe, to be home-
She picks a direction and runs.
———
Percussionist stops draining Flute just before he‘s dead, following the instinct that drove him to where he is.
He wants to be horrified. He does, really. But he was so hungry, and the itch is still there, waiting beneath his skin to pounce on him again. But for now, its gone, and he can think clearly. He can move without the instinct tainting his every twitch.
He turns to look at the person he drained and sees-
He sees his friend. And it hits him all at once.
He killed a person, a person he knew, a person he cared for, and he had been powerless to stop it. He didn’t even know- he didn’t realize- he would never have done it if he-
but he knew he would have. Even if he knew. He would’ve killed Flute, and he hates himself for that.
So he sits by the body of his dead friend, maybe in solace, maybe because some instinctive tick tells him to. He doesn’t want to know. He refuses to.
When Flute sat up and gasped, Percussionist could‘ve sworn he had a heart attack (even without a functioning heart.)
To Flutes credit, he made it through Percussionists halting and confused explanation before letting himself ask about the smell.
”what smell?” Percussionist asked, and lifted his nose to the air.
He got his answer. The smell of blood, salty and sweet and with a coppery tinge to it drifted through the air, leaving a hunger and odd comfort sitting in his gut. It reminded him of smelling baking cookies from the kitchen as a kid.
A leaf crunched, and he snapped out of his trance. Flute had stood up and broken into a run, faster than any human could’ve gone. After the person that had been with him.
After his friend.
Percussionist sprinted after him.
——
He had the chance to notice how fast he was really going, now that he could think through the hunger. He practically flew through the forest, leaping over a fallen log half his size that blocked his way. He ducked and dodged branches that threatened to slash his face, and if he were running for something else he may have threw his head back and laughed.
As it was, he was following the occasional red flash of a windbreaker that he could barely keep up with without being hit by a tree.
He could heal now right? Did he really even need to be worried about being hit by trees?
He let one slap his face just to test, and he felt the stinging pain all across his face as a deep cut opened across his nose and eyes. He faltered as his vision went red with blood. A second later, it was gone, and he could see again. ….And he‘d lost flute. Great.
He sniffed the air, remembering how he’d been able to smell the blood, and tried to look for his friend.
He could smell the whole forest. Sap and pine and rotting leaves, rotten flesh and mushrooms and a skunk miles and miles off, the sweet sting of honey and dew and campfire smoke, and over it all, the most lovely smell-
Well, looks like he couldn’t find him that way. He thought for a moment, and groaned. He could just follow French Horn and get to her first!
He began running again.
———
Clarinet had just made it back to the campsite, a live deer kicking around over her shoulder. She would’ve killed it, but she couldn’t quite figure out how without losing any of its blood, and since she drained and seriously injured Percussionist he would need a lot of blood-
and the campfire had a suspicious lack of vampires around it. Great. She could only hope that no one had cut themselves-
She stopped as the scent of blood hit her nose. She cursed and took off running, dropping the deer as she did.
——
French Horn thought she was going to die when she heard a bush rustle and snap behind her. She had stopped for a rest, thinking she was safe (if very lost). She was braced for her death when Percussionist crashed through the bushes.
”Oh, good, you’re still alive. We need to go like right now.”
Before she could protest, he grabbed her wrist and began pulling her away. With his very cold, very pale hand.
”Wait. Was it you?” She said, planting her feet.
”Yes.” his voice was solemn, and his eyes downcast. “But unless you want Flute to get you, we need to go”
She tore her wrist out of his grasp.
“Flutes dead. Flute’s dead and you killed him!”
And Flute hit her from the side. He sank his teeth deep into her neck, but only for a moment. Then he pulled back, looking horrified and ran away.
French Horn stands up dazedly. “That was…”
”Yeah.”
she lifts a hand to her bleeding neck where the bite is still gushing blood.
A rustle of trees comes from the side, and Clarinet skids to a stop in front of them. She takes in the situation and drops to her knees, tearing loose a piece of her shirt and holding it to the holes in French Horn’s neck.
”Wheres the third?”
French horn points to the copse of trees he disappeared into.
”I think we might actually be jinxed.” A pause, then “That was supposed to be a joke. Go after him. He’s heading towards the camp, and chances are he won’t be able to stop himself a second time.”
Percussionist nods, and then stops. “How do I get there?”
”just run straight! GO!”
and he does.
———
Clarinet gently explains to French Horn that vampires are real, and that she is one. When asked why she isn’t bloodthirsty, Clarinet answers that she has a lot of blood left in her still, and that she’s not all the way changed, and that the change will, in her words, “Stink. Its kind of the worst thing you’ll have to go through, and it’ll take way longer since you have blood, and you may not notice at first.“
French Horn pursed her lips. “Theres no way to stop it?”
Clarinet shook her head.
”Okay. Okay, shouln’t we help Percussionist?”
Clarinet swore. “You won’t be much help in the state you’re in, but I can drop you off by the camp. Pack our things and be ready to go.”
Clarinet scooped French Horn up and took off into the woods.
———
Percussionist got there just as Tuba was ripping Flute off of his neck.
Despite Flute being the smallest out of all of them, and Tuba being the strongest, he was struggling to keep the scrabbling, biting Flute away.
So, Percussionist did the only logical thing and full body tackled Flute, trying to hold him down. It worked, sort of. Long enough for Tuba to start running. Long enough for Sax and Trombone to see what the ruckus was.
Flute burst out of Percussionists grip, grabbed Trombone and ran.
Sax sprinted after them, and percussionist was left in the dust, standing dumbstruck as they all dashed off. He snapped out of it when Trumpet pressed an axe to his shoulder and told him to not move.
———
Flute knows this: he is very hungry. He also knows that blood tastes very good.
His last two meals escaped. He thinks he let the first go, but he can’t seem to remember why. The second was ripped away from him by someone like him, which was rather rude.
But this one won’t get away. He is far to hungry to let that happen.
He feeds as he runs, draining the squirming thing dry, pinning its flailing limbs against his chest. It stops wailing eventually.
He slows as he becomes able to think clearly again. He holds the body in his arms and revels in the fact he is no longer hungry. Then, he looks at the thing he drained.
And it’s his friend. He feels his stomach drop, and a hollow pit grow in his chest. His friend is dead, and it’s his fault. He tells himself there’s nothing to do but run, so he does.
Really, though, he just doesn’t want to see what she’ll become.
———
“What did you do to them.” Said Trumpet, each word slow and dangerous. She lifted the axe off his shoulder, and he felt relief before he realized she was lining up to take off his head.
He may be able to heal, but he did not want to see how far that ability stretched. Not like this, at least.
He swallowed his fear and asked, ”What makes you think I did something?“
She barked out a harsh laugh. “You go missing in the middle of the night with Clarinet, who still isn’t back. Flute and French Horn go to look for you and have mysteriously disappeared. Tuba came running from this direction, bleeding like a stuck pig. And here I find you, in the center of it all.”
Ah. He was fucked. Time to implement the worst plan ever, considering how fast Trumpet was.
”that’s- that sure is some pretty overwhelming evidence that I did something. I swear I didn’t, though but I know you won’t believe me so I’m just gonna RUN!”
He ducked under the axe she swung at his head, and took off running into the trees. He glanced behind him to see her struggling to keep up, and grinned. He was actually getting away with his head, and beating Trumpet in a footrace for once-
He turned back around just in time to see the tree that crumpled his skull.
———
He wished he could say he didn’t feel every excruciating twitch of his skull righting itself as he laid there. As it was, it was painful enough he was functionally passed out.
Which is why he was surprised to see trumpet dragging him by his feet deep into the woods.
Not half as surprised as trumpet, who dropped his feet and swore when he sat up and gasped.
”What the hell? You were dead! that killed you!” She yelled.
Percussionist was still reeling from how much growing his skull back sucked, and latched on to the first thing he noticed.
”Did you steal my shoes?”
”what are you?” She asked in a tone that was decidedly horrified.
He fiddled with a piece of grass somewhere to his left. “A vampire, as of yesterday. Really though, why do you have my shoes?”
“Not important. What do you mean as of yesterday?”
”Last night, really. Me and Clarinet-“
”Clarinet and I.” She said.
”Whatever. We went on a walk and turns out she’s always been a vampire, and then she did the vampire thing, and now I’m a vampire, and things have just been spiraling from there-”
”That explains a lot, actually. Who else is a vampire?”
Percussionist, feeling slightly more alive, realized they weren’t by the camp anymore.
”Where are we? Why do you have my shoes, and why are you so calm about this?”
”oh.” She said. “I may have made an action plan for something like this. You know, in case of murderers, or if supernatural stuff was real.”
”thats cool. Why steal my shoes?“
”I was framing you for murder.”
an awkward silence settled over them.
”We should get back to camp. Stop more people from getting vampired and all.”
”Yeah. Lets do that.“
———
Sax skidded to a stop in front of Trombones body. She was limp, and pale, and by all accounts dead. He whipped out his phone to call anyone, anyone at all, and pitched it into a tree when it read no service.
He sat, and he cried by his best friend, who always made the shittiest puns, who was the worst at sports, who thought anything with soulmates was stupid but still read all the stuff he suggested her. Who was dead.
He was still crying when she sat up and latched onto his neck, draining him dry.
———
French Horn and Clarinet ran across Tuba, who was holding gauze to his neck where he had been bit. French Horn was starting to feel slightly feverish, but otherwise okay.
”Guys! Are you okay? The weirdest thing just happened.” He said.
”We need to leave.” Said Clarinet. “Now.”
”No argument here. Have you guys seen Flute? He was with you last time I saw him.“
French Horn and Clarinet shared a look.
“I’ll go find him. You two pack. we leave before dusk.”
They watched as she disappeared into the leaves.
”Whats going on?” Asked tuba, a hint of worry in his voice.
French Horn took a deep breath in before saying “Vampires are real.”
Tuba burst out laughing.
“Oh. You’re serious.” He said as he hefted a tent into the back of the van.
”you don’t believe me.”
“How could I? I haven’t seen any proof that they exist.”
She threw a bag of trash in the van with more force than nessecary.
“What attacked you then?”
At this he paused. “I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a vampire.”
———
Percussionist and Trumpet made it to where Trombone was crying over Sax, the late afternoon sun reflecting off of their now pale skin.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. He’ll be alright.”
Trombone looked up at him and snarled, all teeth and rage, and Percussionist jumped back.
”He’ll end up like me, won’t he.”
Percussionist nodded.
”I don’t know what world you’re living in, but this isn’t fucking alright!”
Trumpet walked over and knelt in front of Trombone. She held out her hand, and Trombone scrambled away.
”I don’t believe you would hurt me. Not right now. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”
”so what?” She scoffed. “I still did it. Should I just go on existing as whatever I am now? Just kill people so I can live?”
”Actually,“ Percussionist said, “we can live off of different types of blood.”
Trumpet looked back and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Shut up you twatwaffle, can’t you see this is a delicate moment?”
”just figured it would be some good information to have.“ he said.
“Are you seriously telling me my angst fest was for nothing?” She asked.
Percussionist leaned against a tree. “Oh, don‘t worry.” He said. “Theres still plenty of angst about the immortality.”
“Sax did always say he wanted to be sixteen forever.”
Trumpet rolled her eyes. “Lets go home.”
Trombone reached out to take Trumpets hand, and Sax shot up and clamped his jaws around her throat. Trombone grabbed Trumpets wrist and pulled her away as Percussionist peeled Sax away.
”Let him.“ choked out Trumpet. “I‘ll be one of you either way.”
”Absolutely not!” Said Percussionist. “Trombone, go find literally anything else with blood.” Sax kicked and snarled in his grip. “Hurry! I’m not sure how much longer I can hold him.”
———
“Flute!” Yelled Clarinet. She had been looking for him for an hour now, and still couldn’t find him.
She was walking along an old trail that went out of use years ago when she almost tripped over him. He was curled up in the shade of a tree, hiding away in a hollow.
“What do you want.”
”I want to take you home.” She said.
he laughed. “Something like me doesn’t deserve a home. I killed people, and I knew there was another way, but I did it anyway. Just leave me here to rot.”
She remembered when she’d been like this. She had forgotten to eat, had slipped up. Its not a hard thing to do. When you’re a vampire, you brain tricks you into feeling fine by your old standards until you‘re so hungry you can’t stop it.
She believed it was all her fault, though. The only way someone had gotten through to her was something they had called twisting the knife. She had always called it shitty.
She sighed. “I wanted to say sorry.”
He poked his head out a little, peering up at her. “You didn’t do anything.”
”But I did.” She said. “I drained percussionist dry last night, and then I left him to find you. I watched while you attacked your friends, and now, I’m giving you a chance to fix the harm we caused. What will you do with it?”
”You made me like this?” He asked.
”Yes.”
he lunged at her face, fingers clawing for her eyes. She turned around and ran for the campsite, making sure he was behind her, and praying that he would forgive her for the stunt she just pulled.
———
The campsite was packed, and Percussionist and Trombone had made a game of who could catch the best songbird for Sax. Sax was less murderously inclined, though it was hard to tell if it was because the blood he had consumed or trumpets growing nonhumanness.
After the third or fourth time of watching Sax suck down a bird or squirrel like a juice box, Tuba was forced to admit that maybe vampires were a little real.
(He noticed his neck wound had already scabbed over and was halfway gone. He was afraid to ask if he was becoming one.)
The sun was slipping behind the tops of the trees when Clarinet charged out of the forest, leapt over the van, And yelled “Flutes trying to kill me!”
Flute burst into the clearing and lunged at Clarinet. Percussionist stepped in the way.
”What happened?“
”She did this in purpose! She said she dropped you in the woods to kill us!”
Percussionists blinked. “No she didn’t. She told me to stay where I was while she got something for me to eat.”
he stopped yelling. Now, he just looked confused. “But she turned you.”
”Yeah? It was an accident. She obviously regretted it.”
Percussionist backed off, and Flute looked at clarinet.
”why did you say all that then?”
“You were’t gonna come with me if I didn’t. Besides, you were spiraling and this was the easiest way to stop that.”
”Sounds like the shittiest way to stop it, too.” Scoffed Tuba.
She sighed. “Yeah. It was.”
”Hey,” asked sax. “Are any of us still human? I know me, Percussionist, and Trombone aren’t-“
”Percussionist, Trombone, and I.” Said Trumpet.
”-And I saw you two jump over my van, but whats up with the rest of you?”
”Basically,” said Clarinet, “anyone who was bit is or will become a vampire, depending on how much blood they had left in them after the bite. Was there anyone who wasn’t bit?”
everyone was silent as they all glanced at each other, looking for anyone who could say yes. It quickly became awkward, and was broken by Clarinet muttering “Fuck.” quietly under her breath.
”Who all, um, died today?”
Flute, Sax, and Trombone slowly raised their hands. Clarinet squinted at Percussionist, which prompted him to say “What? I died last night.”
French Horn yelled “past twenty four hours, dingus.”
He rolled his eyes and raised his hand.
”Alright. You three,” -she made a sweeping gesture towards the three with their hands down- “Are going to have the worst couple weeks of your life. Take a few days off of everything. Don’t go to the hospital. Stay isolated. Call me when the pain’s mostly over.”
Tuba’s lips pursed. “What, exactly, is going to happen to us?”
”The way it was explained to me was that your body slowly cannibalizes itself. It sucks.”
”hm.” He said. He looked very troubled.
They got in the van and drove through the night.
For now, they rest. A short break, before they have to figure out the rest of their lives.
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hawksugarbaby · 3 years
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THINGS THAT FUCK ME UP ABOUT VARIOUS SOULMATE AU's
Seeing colour for the first time
Do you go back to black and white when they die
Or are the colours just desaturated and dead
Imagine finally seeing colour only to be colourblind
Aromantics who literally only see the world in black and white
Guessing what colours things are with your friend who already found theirs
Polyamorous sims who see a new colour with each partner
Red string of fate
Your string getting tangled with a bunch of other strings and theres a huge knot in the middle
Trying to go somewhere and getting tugged back because your s.o is going somewhere else and Vice Versa
Never forgetting stuff cause of the red "ribbon" on your finger.
Pulling your string when you want attention from a partner close to uou
Pulling your string in morse code
Polyamorous people having multiple strings
You feel the pain your soulmate feels
Having a S.O with really high pain tolerance and doesn't really understand how much it hurts until their S.O explains it
People who like getting tattoos and piercings and your S.O just feels pain randomly and plays like dot to dot trying to figure out what your getting
Military soulmate who gets severely injured and the first time you feel it you think your dying
TW// Self harm significant other who hits, burns or cuts themselves and you just feel guilty cause you feel their physical pain but not your mental
Soulmate who has chronic pain and your back just always hurts or your constantly getting migraines.
Hearing your soulmate singing in your head
Single mother soulmate who's constantly singing baby shark
Making songs to have a regular conversation
The louder it gets the closer you are
Your soulmate not even being a hood singer but its comforting hearing them
Mute people who never sing
Deaf people who never hear them sing
Writing on you appears on your soulmate
Just drawing dicks to make them laugh
Giving them test answers
Trying out pick up lines on their arm
Writing down notes on your arm so you don't forget and by the time you meet, your soulmate knows your regular groceries, starbucks order, your Mcdonalds order etc
Writing page numbers on your arm and when you forget your solmate reminds you
Artist soulmate drawing tattoo designs on you to get later and you have matching tattoos
First words they say to you are tattooed on
Straight up having "FUCK"
Having a really common phrase like "can I borrow a pen" but like literally 15 people can ask for a pen
Again being deaf and having no clue
Hearing your soulmate in a crowd and your desperately looking for the person who said "FUCK OFF JEREMY" but there's too many people
Vines. Just "an avocado... thanks!" On your arm forever
Your soulmate soeaks another language so you google translate whats on your arm and its essentially "cock sucker"
Also learning that language
Clock on your arm counting down
One day it starts counting up??
Aro's who's clocks never tick
Polyamorous people with multiple clocks, maybe a whole forearm sometimes
Breaking your clock by accident
When it hits 525600 minutes theatre nerds sing seasons of love enthusiastically
Getting 420 or 69 and going "heh, nice"
People finding out they're going to live really fucking long cause they have huge numbers on their clocks
Scars or where they first touch you
Having a handprint on your face cause you get slapped for something
For guys, being confused because theres a shape down their, only to realise its cause your gonna get kicked in the balls when your meat your soulmate
TW// Self harm having really light fingerprint touches on your selfharm scars because when they first touch you their comforting you about them
Having a scar on your foot, you become a chef, you accidentally get a knife dropped into your foot and you Don’t know if you should be furious or glad
Yeah soulmate Au's make me lose my mind
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dreamnotnapper · 3 years
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ok, listen. i will gladly hivemind about many things, but one of the things i will never hivemind about is mcc
i am way too invested in that block game tournament to not have my own opinions, and trust me i have a Lot of opinions after sapnaps stream
(this will be very long, feel free to ignore. also, this is all typed up on mobile so i am so sorry)
the most prominent things is when he said he thinks he should be an s-tier, and when he said he thinks cyan is the best team
1. i dont think sapnap is an s-tier. god forbid i post this on twitter where everyone thinks he should be, but genuinely i dont. he is definitely the closest non s tier player to s tier, but i dont think hes s tier yet. i dont have stats on hand (bc im not a Nerd /j), but comparatively, sapnap isnt as good. hes one of the best pvpers and parkour players, yes. but hes pretty weak in build mart, rocket spleef and bingo, and hes decent at ace race and hole in the wall. a question we have to ask ourselves when ranking sapnap, is he at the same level as the other s-tiers? is he as good as pete, quig, fruit, techno, and dream? so far, all current s-tiers have: won at least 1 mcc, had 1st individual at least once and have 3000+ average coins. sapnap has only achieved the first. another thing is that sapnap isnt balance the way an s-tier is balanced. most notably, pete, fruit and quig are all balanced with weaker teams. pete and fruit are commonly teamed with hermits, when not with hermits pete is with b tiers or below, and quig is usually put on for fun teams (techno hasnt played in a canon mcc in a while so i cant rly say how hes balanced nowadays). sapnap isnt balanced this way, he isnt put on weaker teams. if anything, hes put on teams where someone else helps take up a leader role. mcc15, he'll most likely co-lead with dream, mcc14 he had punz, mcc13 he had dave krtzyy, (i dont remember his mcc12 team), mcc11 he had dream, etc.
so sapnap hasn't gotten 1st individual or 3000+ average coins, and scott doesnt balance him the way he balances the other s-tiers therefore i dont think sapnap is an s-tier. however, if he continues improving the way he is now, i believe he will be s-tier eventually. dont say that i'm too hard on him and that my requirements are too harsh because i'm a firm believer that once a player is s-tier, they dont leave (unless they just fuck up that bad, in multiple consecutive mccs)
2. i think sapnaps prediction of cyan being 1st is wrong. first of all, theres a reason why nearly the entire subreddit predicts cyan to be lower on the leaderboard, and its not because the subreddit is biased or playing an elaborate prank. i think both sapnap and dream really overestimate cyans abilities, especially with 2 new players. both dream and sapnap agreed that wisp is cracked, 5up is cracked, antfrost isnt bad, and scott is decent. the stats kind of do tell a different story though. again, i dont have the stats on hand, i only have what i remember from posts ive seen on the subreddit so take what i say here with a grain of salt. i dont think wisp is as cracked as dreamnap think he is. wisp has only played in (iirc, and if the subreddit was correct) 3 events, and his first 2 were very average with his mcc14 performance being the outlier. another thing is that they have two new players. that is not going to be easy. when you look at new players that joined after mcc began getting more competitive, youll see that they always underperform during their debut mcc. take illumina, for example. illumina is one of the best speedrunners in minecraft. he spent hours practicing and studying vods to optimize his performance. iirc, his first mcc he got 17th. that is already impressive, especially for a debut but his next placement was 5th. that is a huge improvement. 5up and antfrost are no illuminas, they dont have the same skill that he does. if illumina couldnt get top 15 during his debut, there is no way 5up and antfrost will during theirs like dream and sapnap predicted they would. the last thing i wanted to say about this is that 5up can practice all he wants on the practice server. he can get himself acquainted with ace race mechanics and the environment of battle box and parkour tag, but the practice server =/= the real event. no amount of time on the practice server can prepare new players to the atmosphere and pressure of the real event
thats my rant over, thank you if you stuck around. also really sorry if you stuck around, i doubt my thoughts were very coherent as its 4:30am. but yeah, i just wanted to get my thoughts out because sapnap and dream discussing mcc predictions made me very frustrated. especially since their predictions were all based on their initial thoughts on the teams and absolutely zero statistical analysis. absolute himbos, the two of them /lh
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ravencyclebigbang · 4 years
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Raven Cycle Big Bang 2020 Masterlist
The 2020 Raven Cycle/Call Down The Hawk Big Bang has come to a close! 
Twenty-six teams (and some…) created a ton of great fanfic and fanart over the course of the event. When we started this event we couldn’t have known what 2020 would end up being, so our appreciation goes to all participants for being so resilient and marvellous and sticking with us until the very end.
A Big Bang is traditionally a fandom event that produces 10k+ words fan fictions and associated art, all fully complete. That’s all the reading and looking your art might desire!!!
Please make sure to show your love to all creators by commenting, kudosing and sending loving pigeons!  And stay tuned, because we might have a little Post-Bang Giveaway ready for you…
We have an Ao3 collection in case you want to filter by tags and ratings and the like. Below the cut is a full master list of the various contributions to the TRC Big Bang, so they can be browsed with ease.
Team #1: that perilous stuff (which weighs upon the heart)
Fanfic: AO3 Art: Tumblr
Writer: @saywhatjessie (tumblr)/JessJesstheBest (AO3)
Artist: @pygmypouter (tumblr)
Beta: @rroguess (tumblr)
Synopsis: “Uh, Mr. Parrish? You’d like to read for Lady Macbeth?” Adam felt his eye twitch, even while he nodded. It was true that even at an all boy’s school where boys would have had to read the female parts, Adam probably wouldn’t have normally volunteered to read Lady Macbeth. But Ronan had called him a nerd. So he was prepared to be the biggest nerd Ronan had seen. “I know what I’m about, ma’am.” Or Ronan and Adam volunteer to read for Macbeth and Lady Macbeth in class. Shenanigans ensue.
Team #2: Uncanny Omens
Fanfic: AO3 | gthechangeling Art: Tumblr | drawfulneutral Art: Tumblr
Writer: @yesterdarling (tumblr)/YesterDarling (AO3)
Artist: @gthechangeling (tumblr)
Artist: @drawfulneutral (tumblr)
Beta: ghostangel (AO3)
Synopsis: The Forces of Heaven and Hell have always assumed that the world would end. More specifically, they always assumed the world would precisely end on a Saturday evening, just a few days after the Antichrist’s birthday. The Armies are forming, the Four Horsemen have been drawn out, and the Antichrist is coming into his full power. Yet not everyone longs for Armageddon. Adam and Ronan - an Angel and Demon living in rural Virginia - most certainly don’t want it to; not when Earth has so many libations that they’ve come to enjoy. Besides, Armageddon without humans having a say in the matter wouldn’t be fair, would it? With their livelihoods and the lives of Mankind on the line, they plot to throw a wrench in the Divine Plan. It’d go far easier if anyone knew where the Antichrist was, though.
Team #3: We seek someone to sew sutures in the places where we’re torn
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @blueseyforthesoul (tumblr)/kirani (AO3)
Artist: @thecorvidrotation (tumblr)
Synopsis: Gansey isn’t the half of his soulmate pair with a name, and Blue hasn’t said anything so he doesn’t think she has his name either. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a huge crush on the cute bassist of his roommate’s band. Shenanigans ensue.
Team #4: You Better Shape Up
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: stop_whining (AO3)
Artist: @attentionhoard (tumblr)
Synopsis: A Pynch fic inspired by the classic 1978 movie/musical Grease for TRC Big Bang 2020.
Team #6: Pranks and Pups!
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Instagram
Writer: @comfy-spot (tumblr)/RandyKorn (AO3)
Artist: manao.ri (instagram)
Synopsis: The end of winter break rolls around, and Ronan finds himself stuck in a depressive episode despite the miracle of having his friends all together once again. Blue and Henry bully him into a Platonic Date Night Extraordinaire (which isn’t so platonic on Henry’s part). There’s gelato, misdemeanors, dog piles, a duck, dance parties, and even a car chase - everything necessary to force one Ronan Lynch into admitting that he’s just as deserving of love and care as the rest of them.
Team #7: In gardens all wet with rain
Fanfic: AO3 | forestgeitart Art: Tumblr | purrsnicket Art: Tumblr
Writer: @magicienetreveur (tumblr)/hollyanneg (AO3)
Artist: @forestgeitart (tumblr)
Artist: @purrsnicket (tumblr)
Beta: @semicolonsandsimiles (tumblr)
Synopsis: In a land where magic is real, Ronan spends most of his time hiding from it in the palace gardens, where he’d once met a boy who could tell the future. There’s love letters, a masquerade ball, and an evil plot to be foiled.
Team #8: The Waiting Game
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @inoctavo (tumblr)/inoctavo (AO3)
Artist: @lenaisanerd (tumblr)
Beta: @emjenenla (tumblr)
Synopsis: When all they can do is wait, Declan’s mind catastrophizes… then tries to plan for them. It’s a good recipe to make more problems when everyone’s gone around the emotional ringer. Featuring existential crises, denial, tough decisions, Declan meeting Opal for the first time, and Jordan painting Declan like one of her French girls.
Team #9: if love is just a game (then how come it’s no fun)
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @toast-the-unknowing (tumblr)/shinealightonme (AO3)
Artist: @rroguess (tumblr)
Synopsis: Ronan probably shouldn’t have sworn at the stranger he runs into leaving Gansey’s favorite hipster coffee shop. Blue probably shouldn’t have tracked down Adam’s soulmate without his permission. But they did, and now all four of their lives are tangled up together, whether they like it or not.
Team #10: Strange as Angels
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @skyermirth (tumblr)/skyermirth (AO3)
Artist: @squash1-squash2 (tumblr)
Beta: @galwaygremlin (tumblr)
Synopsis: Adam takes a job for the summer as Caretaker of the Barns, which local legend says is haunted. Adam soon finds out this is true when he meets the resident “ghost,” who isn’t very scary with his mohawk and grouchy demeanor but romantic heart. Falling in love with a ghost was not what Adam had planned for his summer. (Loosely based on the 1947 movie “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir”.)
Team #11: Dream Killer
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @attentionhoard (tumblr)/mvsic_bxxks_stvdy (AO3)
Artist: @sinplaytheartist (tumblr)
Synopsis: Ronan Lynch is a man with extraordinary talents. If he can bring a living, breathing bird from a dream, what’s stopping him from bringing his best friend back from the grave? But some challenges are too great for one dreamer alone.
Team #12: Bread & Circuses
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Instagram
Writer: @galwaygremlin (tumblr)/okay_pretender (AO3)
Artist: crystaline_art (instagram)
Beta: @inoctavo (tumblr)
Team #14: Ag iarraidh forais i bhfodhomhain
Fanfic: AO3 | forestgeit Art: Tumblr | homunculiii Art: Tumblr
Writer: @semicolonsandsimiles (tumblr)/semicolonsandsimiles (AO3)
Artist: @forestgeitart (tumblr)
Artist: @homunculiii (tumblr)
Beta: @g-reywaren (tumblr)/applepi314 (AO3)
Synopsis: Adam is more surprised that he came to Ireland at all than he is to find a doorway to the Otherworld. When Persephone gives you cryptic predictions about your future, you’re almost certainly about to stumble into some magic. And for all his exterior bluster, Ronan seems almost relieved to have someone to visit Tír na nÓg with. But things turn complicated quickly when, during what was supposed to be a quick trip through the doorway, they encounter Ronan’s little brother - who is definitely human and definitely in New York. When Adam ends up back in Ireland long term, he finds himself increasingly entangled in the magic of the Lynch bookshop, the Lynch family lore, and one Lynch in particular.
Team #15: See You Later Alligator
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Instagram
Writer: @crostiina (tumblr)/crostiina (AO3)
Artist: fricklefracklefloof (instagram)
Beta: @creativefiend19 (tumblr)
Synopsis: “Adam.” he read out loud, because he didn’t know what else to do, because he was bad at conversation yet he definitely felt the need to say something.
He thought Adam was going to be even more annoyed and tell him off for being there and close and talking to him. He didn’t know why he did, maybe it was just that night messing with him, maybe it was just him never feeling right anywhere he went. Adam just shrugged.
“Told you I wasn’t Janine.”
Graduation year, Ronan Lynch is wasting his time with horrible friends and too many vices. Things change when he meets Adam Parrish, local (apparently) sane person and ambitious soul working the graveyard shift at a gas station’s market as he waits for acceptance letters to come. Somehow, they both happen to become the best part of the other person’s day.
Team #17: weekends are for the dogs
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @royai (tumblr)/rizahawkaye (AO3)
Artist: @cheeriosnuggles (tumblr)
Synopsis: Ronan Lynch - fresh off the loss of his father, the truth of his Dreams - has so much to learn about himself, about Dreamers, about Niall, and about the black-coated wolf that tears its way through Henrietta.
Team #18: primavera
Fanfic: AO3 | Tumblr: Art
Writer: @manonblaccbeak (tumblr)/Imnotweirdjustwriting (AO3)
Artist: @gthechangeling (tumblr)
Beta: @pnrrish (tumblr)
Synopsis: the rebirth of Adam through art
OR: a renaissance AU featuring the gangsey
Team #19: trouble is (i don’t wanna let go)
Fanfic: AO3 | gouachemole Art: Tumblr | ladvy Art: Tumblr
Writer: @adverbialstarlight (tumblr)/adverbialstarlight (AO3)
Artist: @gouachemole (tumblr)
Artist: @ladvy (tumblr)
Beta: @violettfemme (tumblr)
Synopsis: It’s been two years since Henrietta’s infamous supervillain, Apothecary, disappeared from the streets and left the beloved hero Greywaren alone without his nemesis – and former secret lover. But now he’s back and determined, this time to team up and save the city from an even larger threat.
aka a pynch superhero au
Team #21: Love in the Time of Socialism
Fanfic: AO3 | Art 1: Tumblr | Art 2: Tumblr
Writer: @oldkingyounggod (tumblr)/aurumdalseni (AO3)
Artist: @effwit (tumblr)
Beta: @crostiina (tumblr)
Synopsis: This is a story about a magician with a terrible history. The death of Adam Parrish’s father after he leaves for college means a chance at closure with that part of his life, but he’s not on the journey alone. At his side is a king, whose loyalty never faltered, no matter how much the world threw at them, or how many times they couldn’t agree on how to live their lives. This is also the story of a dreamer, who loved his best friends so much that he didn’t dare risk losing them by asking for something they couldn’t give. So kisses that could have been became kisses that never were, and Ronan Lynch tells himself he’ll make his home a place they can return to. They’ll all come together again for Adam, even fierce little Blue Sargent, so he doesn’t have to face his past alone. And while he works at closing those doors, he’ll make his way into places where all the love Adam, Ronan and Gansey have built up over the years will finally have the space to bloom.
Team #22: we will raze this earth together
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @teddylupin (tumblr)/perfect-porcelain (AO3)
Artist: @kojotei (tumblr)
Synopsis: Ronan is the heir to the Cabeswater throne, a mythical place that was thought to be lost to time. He is the only one of the late King Niall’s son to inherit the royal ability to shift into a dragon. He doesn’t want the throne. In his attempt to escape, he is captured and brought to the kingdom of Henrietta where the court magician, Adam is tasked with attempting to communicate with him, only Adam doesn’t know he has a human form. All Adam sees is the beautiful monstrosity that is Ronan.
Team #24: Heavy lies the head
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @tinyarmedtrex (tumblr)/tinyarmedtrex (AO3)
Artist: @non-platonic-murphamy (tumblr)
Beta: @waywardsoul-s (tumblr)
Synopsis: Adam can’t stand the court magician, Ronan, but when his King sends the two of them on a quest Adam has no choice but to learn to work with the other man.
Team #25: A voice inside me sang your name
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @maskingfragility (tumblr)/Fata_Morgana (AO3)
Artist: @pank0 (tumblr)
Beta: @campbraceyourself (tumblr)
Synopsis: Adam Parrish has recently gotten engaged, he works for a prestigious law firm in DC and he is about to be made partner. His life is millions miles away from the trailer park in Henrietta, he has accomplished all he has ever wanted, so when the call of an ancient, magical forest starts resonating inside him he is faced not just with his past, but with the possibility that his present is not what he really wants.
Team #27: Life is a Fucking Nightmare
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @sterlynwrites (tumblr)/sterlynsilverrose (AO3)
Artist: @sinplaytheartist (tumblr)
Synopsis: We’ve All Read “Dream Thieves” at this point.
All the reader sees is the end of the nightmare of Joseph Kavinsky. But, what we don’t really see is exactly what leads up to that. This is an unapologetic look at Joseph Kavinsky and his daily life. It gives weight to the words:
“Life is a fucking nightmare.”
Team #31: The Creation of Adam
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @pynches (tumblr)/clawsnbeak (AO3)
Artist: @purrsnicket (tumblr)
Beta: glam_reaper2 (AO3)
Synopsis: When Ronan Lynch enrolled in art school just to mess with his brother, he never thought he would actually be good at it. Now, with only a few months left before he is supposed to graduate, he has to turn in one of the biggest art pieces yet. Enter Adam Parrish, a poor student who wouldn’t say no to some extra money. When he saw an advertisement on Craigslist looking for a model to help with an art project, he didn’t hesitate to react. Working together seemed easy enough but there might be more between them than they bargained for.
Team #34: The Royal Treatment
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @oldguybones (tumblr/Oldguybones (AO3)
Artist: @the-ronan-cycle (tumblr)
Synopsis: When Adam Parrish turned eighteen, he became the rightful heir to rule his home country of Henrietta. For years, he looked forward to taking over the nightmarish reign of his father and make the changes he wanted to see. But there was a huge problem. To officially hold the title, he first must wed and his foul mouthed, farm hand boyfriend, Ronan Lynch, knew nothing about royalty. Adam knew though, that there was no one better to rule by his side. So he must teach Ronan how to behave in the face of royalty without changing what he loved so dearly about him.
With time running out, will he be able to do that in time to gain the current King’s approval?
Team #38: and could you carry me through no man’s land
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @mletart (tumblr)/mletart (AO3)
Artist: @wy-mackk (tumblr)
Beta: @stadamparrish (tumblr)
Synopsis: For The Raven Cycle 2020 Big Bang
In which Ronan Lynch gets himself into trouble with the High Council and Adam Parrish ends up taking Ronan on as his familiar. Adam learns the secrets of the Lynch family, and they both learn about magic and about each other. It goes a lot better than either of them would have expected at the start.
Team #39: Weirdos’ Voices
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr
Writer: @flyde (tumblr)/parttimehuman (AO3)
Artist: @shamanda-lie (tumblr)
Synopsis: Without ever having seen the guy, Ronan is crushing hard on one of the construction workers renovating his building. Sitting against the door to his apartment, listening to the beautiful voice and oddly entertaining ramblings of a certain Ganseyboy, Ronan wonders what it would be like if they ever met. It happens when he least expects it…
Team #40: the first problem was putting us in charge of a kingdom
Fanfic: AO3 | Art: Tumblr 
Writer: @bipolarronanlynchevangelist (tumblr)/elliptical (AO3)
Artist: @turqidoodles (tumblr)/Turq_I (AO3)
Synopsis: Ronan Lynch loses control of his magic, which is the catalyst for a lot of shit, because he’s the first proven user of chaos magic in… basically ever. Gansey’s trying to be a good king despite his fears that there may be no such thing. Adam Parrish works beside him, earning his terrifying reputation through psychic study and occasional gray morality. Blue Sargent can’t leave her home or she’ll sicken and die, and her wanderlust is driving her to seek less-than-sensible solutions. Noah Czerny knows a lot about healing, but he’s not omnipotent, and he’s a little tired of being asked to clean up everyone else’s messes. Declan Lynch doesn’t trust the crown. He especially doesn’t trust the crown with his little brother. Mysteriously, all of this leads to rather a lot of conflict.
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legobatman08 · 3 years
Text
New story :) hope ya like it <3
The Ghost of Her
We ran and ran towards the beach, rays of sun flickering across her face. The sound of her laugh rang loud and clear on the empty seaside, and it’s as if her smile lit up the surroundings even more.
Lily and I were 17 at the time – happy and young. Oh, how difficult that is to imagine after all that has happened since then… I’d do anything to go back. It was practically the best period of our lives. We were best friends: Lily and Jo, an iconic duo. We spent every single day together.
This memory is the happiest one of them all.
Summer was coming to an end. The days were still warm here in Greece, but not scorching like the usual August climate. I remember clearly that it was our favorite time of the year, and we went on so many fun adventures together.
We were playing around and wandering as usual when we came across a beautiful yet tragic sight – an ancient ruined temple. It was probably a pagan altar for Poseidon. I didn’t really believe in that stuff, but it was still fascinating to see the way pillars that were once huge could seem so small. Time… oh, time. It puts an end to everything good and bad, big and small… We are its mere slaves, forced to obey its passing. You can’t really see the difference when the only impact you see is the clock ticking, but here it was clear how much damage a few centuries could do to such a strong structure that used to boom over treetops.
Being the mythology nerd that she was, Lily speculated that a temple dedicated to Poseidon couldn’t have been far inland, so we must’ve been headed towards the seaside. As we made our way through the trees, I looked at her. She looked back; her big blue eyes were sparkling with excitement. We decided to race through the trees to see who could find the beach first. Lily was as fast as a reindeer – I immediately stumbled in my pitiful attempt to catch up with her. She stopped to laugh at me for a moment, then helped me up and continued to run at a speed that I couldn’t even comprehend. When she finally stopped, I was panting and desperately trying to make my way towards her.
We were just in time, for the sun was not yet starting to set, but it was past noon. I started laughing for no apparent reason; Lily chimed in too. There was nothing particular to laugh about, but we were still giggling as most teenagers do when they’re extremely happy. She took my hand and looked me in the eyes:
- I bet I can still beat you to the dock!
- Yeah, you bet! – I teased even though I knew she was right. I was no competition for her, but somehow, I still enjoyed hopelessly trying to beat her.
This time she didn’t let go of my hand, and we sprinted down, small clouds of sand rising with each footstep. She laughed and pulled at me to run faster, which caused me to trip again and took her down with me. We laid in the warm sand for a while, hugging and drawing little shapes in the sand with our fingers. It was so adorable. When I finally pulled her up, the sun was already going down. It was casting a beautiful crimson light on the surface of the sea, and we decided to run along the dock.
It wouldn’t even be an exaggeration if I said that those 15 minutes felt like heaven. It was the best day of my life, and now it hurts to remember.
All of our golden memories are tainted with a cold blue stoke of sadness.
The world is so cruel.
It gives you absolute idyllic moments and then sends them crashing down.
You live in constant self-pity, knowing what you could have had…
Lily is gone now. I miss her so much.
The golden memories haunt me every day, and I know that I don’t have much time left either.
I had the same repeating nightmare one night. It was the memory of the beach, but instead of it being happy, Lily disappeared and floated away in front of my very eyes. “It’s just a dream” – I told myself, and I knew that it was true, but there was something so ominous about it… I can't describe it.
I decided to get up and go to the dock. It was late, but that was the least of my concerns. I tried to find the way, but it was dark, and it had been a while since I had ventured past the temple. Nevertheless, the voice inside my head kept nagging and, slowly but surely, I made my way towards the beach.
I could see the dock.
I started laughing for no apparent reason, and somebody started laughing with me… This had to be a hallucination, right?
I plucked up my courage and started to run towards the dock, just like I did with Lily 20 years ago.
This whole experience felt like a time loop.
I reached out my hand to imaginary Lily, and I felt a cold touch on my palm. It was her…
The ghost of her.
It started to rain. I was shivering, the soft evening breeze turned into a sharp, suffocating gust of wind, but I still held Lily's cold hand and went for it.
We sprinted forwards and made our way through the wet sand. The raindrops were tiny and stabbed my skin, but we made it. I could almost see her silhouette; I could feel her touch even more distinctly…
I didn’t care whether this was a dream or not. I simply didn’t care… She was here. Even if it was just the ghost of her. As we went further on the dock, her figure solidified. She looked real and alive! I was crying tears of joy…
Then she turned and looked at me:
See you in heaven, Jo, my love – Lily said calmly. I was so happy to hear her voice again…
But then she disappeared.
Just like in the dream.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I fell down on my knees, weeping, as the sound of the roaring waves sang a song of despair.
- See you in heaven, Lily – I said as I closed my eyes for the last time.
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