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#its giving major butterflies
indieedgycool · 11 months
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babe wake up the new teaser for hidden agenda just dropped
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aro-aizawa · 9 months
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HI YES HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE ML S5 IF THE S4 FINALE TOOK ME OUT COMPLETELY
#shut up danni's talking#danni liveblogs#danni liveblogs ml#i did a VERY good job of staying away from spoilers#i knew that hawk moth pulled a major victory and felix was involved somehow but oh my god#you can also tell that a LOT of the budget went into this episode esp at the end the animation was so good#well. besides gabe's creepy villain laugh as he pulled all the miraculous out#it was well animated but also very creepy so like. success?????#well the laugh im used to the face not so much#but lb having full understanding of what happened and you can just SEE the pure ice cold dread rushing through her#and see this is exactly where my ml spoiler knowledge cuts off almost completely#from now on i only know a handful of disconnected spoilers that i won't realise until they're happening or even well after it#and from what i can find out all of season 5 is wrapped up except for a special i think#and after that the wiki says its the wrap up of the agreste family arc which i don't think i understand#i feel in my heart once gabe's been revealed and nooru has been saved thats it for my ml interest#and if everything but the butterfly miraculous has been saved then i simply will not accept it lol#i mean i don't really care abt current mha so i'll just do the same to ml#still i KNOW i should give myself time to process this if i rush into the next season it'll blur entirely#i'll have to distract myself w fanfic i guess#anyways know that i am losing my mind thank you and goodbye xoxoxo
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satorusugurugurl · 23 days
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My Wedding Date is an Escort!
Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancè. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one my, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.
Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader
Word Count: 4,782
Warning: cursing, asshole Toji, mentions of blood, physical altercations—👀
A/N:The long-awaited part five! This was so satisfying to write. I hope you all enjoy it!! I think we have maybe one part left, maybe two. Omg! 🥹💚, If you want to be in the tag list YOU MUST HAVE AGE LISTED! Thank you!!
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Six Part Seven Part Eight
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Red. Red was the only color Satoru saw as he dragged his suitcase. He'd never felt so angry! Hurt! Betrayed! The emotions swirled and festered like an infected wound.
He'd let his walls down with you. A mistake he would never make in his life ever fucking again. It didn't matter how desperate a voice would sound on the phone. And it wouldn't matter if he genuinely enjoyed talking to the client or if they gave him the butterflies.
Gojo Satoru would never allow himself to be put into a situation like this again. One where he got hurt. Where he mourned the loss of a girl he barely even knew. A girl that left a scar on him no one would ever see.
The thoughts continued to swell and build up in his mind as he bought himself a hotel room next to the train station. They built up like a typhoon, threatening to destroy everything in its wake, all the way to his room, where he collapsed on the bed. Satoru didn't like feeling this suffocating pain. He needed to distract himself, to talk to one of the only people he trusted in this world.
He needed Suguru.
With a few taps of his finger over his phone screen, Satoru stared at himself, praying his best friend was still up. Which he was. Satoru sighed in relief as Suguru’s face took up the screen. His best friend was propped up in bed, his face dimly illuminated by the lamp on his nightstand. He took one look at Satoru’s face and cocked an eyebrow.
“What happened?”
Satoru chuckled, covering his eyes with his elbow. “Is it that obvious?”
“You just called me three hours ago. You said, and I quote, ‘You’re going to love her. She's got the prettiest eyes. Her skin is fucking flawless. I wanna put her mouth on my mouth.’ end quote.”
“I didn't say that last part!”
“You didn't have to say it, Satoru.” Satoru didn't argue with that. “So, are you going to tell me what happened??”
“I—” he groaned, sitting up, “we, well, ya’ know—”
“Fucked?”
Satoru glared at his only best friend. “No!” Suguru narrowed his eyes. “Well, we didn't go all the way.” God, he wished it had, but he was glad it hadn't.
“Okay? So, did she give you major blue balls? This isn't helping me decipher what happened.”
Although the pain was fresh and stung, Satoru rehashed the night's events. The kiss at the bar, you calling him after Toji showed up, and everything after. From your sudden confidence to the gentle caresses to the intense intimacy between you both. It had been so fierce, raw, and real. Satoru had never experienced kisses and caresses like yours; hell, your touch still lingered as he lay in bed ranting.
All of the chemistry he felt didn’t change the fact that he’d been hurt. He thought you were genuine, that you didn’t want to sleep with him just because of his good looks. Maybe, just maybe, you wanted to sleep with him because you felt the same spark that he did. A spark that would lead to sex, but from there, it might grow into something more! A relationship, the possibility of a future together.
But those stacks of cash changed it all.
The possibilities Satoru had been fantasizing about, wanting, came crashing around him when he counted the bills. You had been so unfazed by it. All you did was check your wallet before pulling out the bag with condoms in it. Your pitiful face when he asked about the money flashed in his mind. You had been incapable of telling him why you had all that money; you just stared blankly at it like you were trying to put two and two together.
Playing around like you didn’t know what was happening had set him off. Why would you have that much money in your purse? Conveniently, it was also the exact amount that he charged for sexual services. Services that Satoru didn’t typically provide. He had been honest with you. He didn’t like having sex with people that he didn’t know, so for him to find all that money, it set him off.
Satoru finished up his story, rubbing his hands through white hair. “So I left, and I missed the last train out. Could you pick me up in the morning? I want to get home as fast as I can.” His blue eyes darted towards his phone screen, where Geto was staring at him like he was an idiot. “What?” Satoru asked, looking at himself on the smaller screen. “Do I have something on my face?” His best friend let out the most extended, most profound sigh in the entire world.
“Are you a fucking idiot?”
“Huh?!”
“I said, are you a fucking idiot?”
Satoru’s eyes narrowed, eyebrows pinching together. “Why the fuck are you asking if I’m an idiot? Are your gauges too big? Did everything I say go through them and not into your ears?” He watched as Suguru rolled his eyes. “I just told you I found all that money in their bag! Right before we did the nasty! I confronted her, she couldn’t explain. That, to me, screams that she’s guilty, Suguru.” He gestured with his hand in front of him as if motioning toward the evidence before his face.
“Did you ever stop and think maybe she couldn’t answer because she was just as confused as you?”
“What?”
Suguru shifted, dark hair falling over his shoulders as he sat up. “Satoru,” he purred, “think about it. She left her bag where anyone could touch it while you two were—preoccupied.” Well, when he put it like that. “And how would you react if you found that much money in your wallet that wasn’t there before?” Satoru remained silent, not saying a word. “You claim she looked guilty because she couldn’t explain it. But what if she truly couldn’t? And you left before even giving her a chance to explain herself.” Yeah, he did; he left you crying at the inn.
Thinking back to how you ran after him, grabbing his arm, stumbling over your feet, would someone guilty do that? Try to explain themselves, beg for him to stop and listen.
“I-I don’t know how it got there, Satoru! Please! Please believe me!”
Your tear-filled eyes, the shuddering tremble in your voice, and the blatant way he’d coldly dismissed your attempts to clear things up had his stomach twisting. The fury that had been fuming deep at his core had blinded him. He didn’t even give you a chance to talk, to explain what had happened.
“I’m so fucking stupid.” He mumbled out, putting his phone down to scrub at his face. “Why didn’t I stop and listen?!”
“Because you like her.” There was something in the tone of Suguru’s voice that had Satoru glancing at his phone. “You genuinely like her Satoru, so when you assumed she just wanted to fuck you just as an escort and not as a potential lover, that broke your heart.” Satoru opened his mouth to argue. “Don’t try to deny it; you just bitched at me for like an hour like some school girl who just got dumped.”
”Fuck you,” Suguru chuckled, knowing Satoru’s words held no heat in them. “So what do I do now? Run back over there, tell her how sorry I am?”
”Well, honestly, if I were in her position, I would slam the door in your face. The whole ‘consider the orgasm, payment for the cancellation of my services’ was fucking harsh.”
”Yeah, not my finest moment.”
“Well, use that Gojo Sator charm and make it up to her.”
After hanging up the phone with Suguru, Satoru plopped down on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. That red-hot rage had faded into regret. He should have listened to you; he should have stopped the second you grabbed his arm. Instead, he pulled away, refusing to listen to what you had to say.
He made you cry like you did when you told him about Toji.
Seeing you that upset had made him sick to his stomach. He thought, what kind of dick makes a girl cry like this? He hated people like that, people that were so cruel. Now the tables had turned, and he was the dick.
God, what are you doing right now? Were you still crying? Maybe you were pacing the room, thinking about what you would do since your wedding date just up and left you. How were you going to explain this to your friends and family? Or were you dreading the pathetic, woeful faces that would be on the faces of your friends and family when you told them he left? You had hired him to make this wedding easier to attend, but he had turned it into an even worse experience for you.
Gojo had been right about you crying. You were curled into a ball on the futon that still smelt like him. Your chest heaved as you screamed into his pillow, gripping it as you let the waves of anguish wash over you, pulling you deeper and deeper into the suffocating waters of despair.
You cried yourself to sleep, waking up with a numbness in your chest as the flashbacks from the night before plagued you. It had been perfect, too perfect. The butterflies, Satoru’s kisses, the pleasure. You felt so good about him, about the two of you, about yourself, to have it come crashing down around you in seconds.
It hurt being yelled at and screamed at and blamed for something you hadn’t done. The rage and betrayal in Satoru’s eyes burned into your mind, and his words sliced so deep into your skin that they touched your soul. You hadn’t been hurt like that since Toji broke up with you, and that had nearly destroyed you. You ran away from the pain, refused to talk to anyone, and stayed in bed for days. Your heart had been broken into a million different pieces, and it took you so long to put it back together. To allow yourself to live your life.
Luckily, your heart was stronger now, scarred and rough. The pain that it had undergone a year before had made it more durable and harder to break. This heartache was not going to destroy you this time around.
Pushing yourself out of bed, you exhaled heavily through your nose before pushing your hair out of your face. You could do this. You didn't need a wedding date to survive the next two days. You were fully capable of getting through this by yourself.
You put on a smile and got ready for your day. Everything hurt, but you would be able to get through it like you had done before. This heartache would not hold you down. You headed into the kitchen, greeting your family as they cleaned dishes from the morning breakfasts that had already been delivered to guests and discussed preparations for the next two nights.
Their voices were white noise as you pulled a bowl of peaches from the fridge. They asked if you were okay if Satoru felt okay since he wasn’t with you. Hearing them say his name stung, but it didn’t stop you from moving, washing peaches, and peeling them as you preheated the oven.
”He left.” You told the truth, not the whole truth, but you weren’t ashamed to tell them he left you. Their reactions varied from confusion and anger to stunned silence and disbelief. “I’ll be okay.” You assured all of them, urging them to go about preparations for the wedding. Right now, all you wanted to do was be alone, to bake the anger and sorrow out of your system.
They granted your wish, leaving you alone in the kitchen. The atmosphere was drastically different from the night before. You giggled and smiled as Satoru stood by your side; those beautiful, captivating blue eyes wandered, watching your hands move. The heat from his gaze alone had the kitchen so hot you thought every oven had been on when they hadn’t. Now, the only warmth that flooded the space was from the oven and stove as you cooked down the peaches in syrup.
You moved unthinkingly, cooking butter into three trays, before setting the stew pot of peaches off to the side. Mind and body numb as you focused on mixing your flour, sugar, and milk in a bowl, you never heard the footsteps behind you. It wasn’t until the timer on your phone went off that you turned, running into a firm chest. You knew the smell of fresh linen masked with musk, and it made you want to throw up.
Satoru rubbed at his neck, glancing down at you. Dark circles were under his eyes as he placed his sunglasses on his head. Even when he looked exhausted, he was still handsome, which irked you.
“Hey.” He spoke softly, like his voice alone would shatter you as if you were a porcelain doll. You said nothing, stepping to the side to turn your timer off. “Can we talk?”
You ignored him, taking out the trays of melted butter from the oven. You put cinnamon, baking powder, and salt into your batter before whisking it bitterly. Satoru moved, gently grabbing your elbow and stopping you from running further away.
“Please.”
“No.” You snapped, pulling away so you could continue to construct the dessert for the rehearsal dinner tonight.
“Sweetie, please.”
“Oh my god!” You slammed the bowl down, turning to shove at Satoru's chest. “You fucking left! You left when I wanted to talk last night!”
“I know I did.”
His eyes never left your face, and his undivided attention only pissed you off more. “Well, guess what? I don’t want to fucking talk now.” Despite your dismissal, Satoru didn’t move. He stayed near your side, watching as your hands moved, putting the peaches on top of the batter. “Don’t you have a train to catch?”
“No, I have a wedding to attend—“
“The fuck you do.”
“You paid for me—“
“And you canceled your services!” Satoru grimaced as you all but threw the trays into the oven. “You paid me with an orgasm, remember?! Because I remember!”
He followed you as you headed to the sink with your dirty dishes. His hand gently grabs your elbow. “Look! Please listen to me.” He took the dishes from your hands, placing them in the sink. “I was an asshole last night, whatever this,” his finger gestures between your bodies, “it’s new and raw and real.” You barked out a laugh. “Stop, please. I messed up; I know I did. And I’m sorry for flipping out on you. But this is worth fighting over; I want to be with you.” His words were regretful; his face matched the panicked pain behind his voice.
That didn’t change the fact he’d hurt you. “Gojo.” The use of his last name had his heart crushed. “You did mess up, you hurt me.” You stepped back, crossing your arms over your chest. “Let’s be honest, this.” You mimicked his finger, gesturing between you. “This is never going to work, not after last night. I had my heart broken once after I was intimate with someone, and you knew that. You knew I didn’t want to have sex. I specified that several times. I put myself out there, out of my comfort zone, because I genuinely liked you. Now, well, let’s be honest: my heart has been broken twice now. So I’m going to ask you to leave.” Satoru swallowed hard, removing his glasses and putting them on the counter.
“Please don’t say that, please.”
“Go.” You pointed to the door, fighting back tears. “I’m not going to ask you again.”
He grips the counter before lifting his head to meet your teary eyes. “Okay,” he reached out, gently brushing away a stray tear, “I’m sorry for breaking your heart.” His gesture had your breath hitching as he turned, heading out of the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.
The moment you were sure he was far enough that he couldn’t hear you, a shaky cry left your lips. You stumbled, your legs no longer wanting to hold you up. How dare he come back and apologize after breaking your heart the night before. If he didn’t apologize, things would have been so much easier for you. You could have grown to hate him, but seeing how upset he looked hearing the pleading tone in his voice, made you want to throw your resolve away to chase after him.
But would a relationship with him work?
He was an escort. People paid him to go out with him. Could you date him, knowing that’s what he did for a living? To be the woman waiting at home for him to come back?
He said he wanted to fight for this, for you and whatever this strange relationship was turning into. He wanted to be with you. So, did that mean he would give up on being an escort? Would he be okay with that? The questions flowed like a steady river through your mind as you sat on the kitchen floor. These were questions you would never get the answers to, all because you sent him away.
Footsteps entered the kitchen as you stared at the floor. You perked up, clenching your fists tight, digging your nails into the palms of your hands. Did Satoru come back? You tilted your head up, tears streaming down your cheeks, to find Toji smirking down at you. The last person on the planet you wanted to see.
”Why are you on the floor?”
”Why won’t you leave me alone?” You snapped as you pushed yourself off the floor.
Toji hummed, leaning over the counter as you went to the sink to clean your dishes. “Because I want to talk to you. But you keep avoiding me.” You threw the whisk into the sink, whirling around.
“You wanna talk? Fine, let’s fucking talk, Toji!” You shrugged a shoulder. “Not that there’s much to talk about, seeing that you’re the one that broke up with me. And last night, you made it painfully obvious that you didn’t want to be with me. So please tell me! What. The. Fuck. Is. There. To. Discuss?!” You screamed, putting both hands on your hips, glaring daggers at the first man who broke your heart.
“Fuck.” He laughed, his eyes trailing up and down your body. “You got feisty in the year that you’ve been away.” When he saw how you glared at him, he held up a hand. “Right, right, fine, I’ll talk.” He straightened his back. “But first, did you enjoy yourself last night?”
His words had your heart dropping into your stomach. “I-I’m sorry?” You asked, hoping that you heard him wrong.
”I asked how your night was. Finally, get dicked down?”
”What?”
”Oh, right, you didn’t know.” He strode forward, grabbing your chin between his thumb and forefingers, forcing you to look into his dark eyes. “After you left, I got a job. I’m a PI, the best in the business.” You felt goosebumps rise against your skin as he leaned beside your ear. “I did a little research into this Gojo Satoru, heir to the Gojo business. It took a little digging, but I eventually found his profile in Escorts4you.com.”
You were frozen in shock and fear. “You knew?” Of course, he knew; he knew something was up the first night.
“To think my ex-fiancée hired a fucking escort to be her date to a wedding. I had a good laugh over it. But when I saw the prices, oof, I know you,” toji squeezed your cheeks, “a pathetic baker from a cafe could never, ever afford to get fucked by a pretty boy like him.”
“W-Wait—“your head spun, “wait, it was you; you put the money in my bag?”
“Ding-ding-ding,” He reached into his pocket, holding another wad of cash towards you. “¥480,000, the money you used to cover rent when I was out of a job.” He put the money on the counter behind you. “I’ve been wanting to pay you back. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“You put—you put the money—“
“But seeing that you were able to buy a high-end escort for an entire week, I figured that maybe you wanted more. So I figured I’d give you half to get the full escort experience.”
“It was you—-“
Toji smirked, gently patting your cheek. “Yep, I found your bag in the kitchen last night. Put half the money in there.” Your ears started ringing as he pulled back. “So tell me, did he fuck you as good as I did? Did he make you scream and cry like me~?” He pulled back, smirking down at you. “Or have I ruined all other men for you?”
Ruined? The only thing he ruined was what you and Satoru had. He fucked this up! It was all because of him!
“You son of a bitch!” You screamed, slapping him across the face. Toji stumbled back, grunting as he cupped his cheek in shock. “Do you know what you did!?” You slapped him again, harder.
“Ow, what?!”
“You ruined everything!” He took several steps back as you grabbed the plastic flour container, throwing it at him, which he dodged. “Yes! I hired Satoru! But I wasn't going to sleep with him!” You tossed a spatula at him, trying to close the distance so you could hit him some more. “But what was supposed to be a job turned into something more! I liked him! I liked him, you asshole!”
Toji dodged a cookie tray, “Well, tell him that!” You rushed forward, slamming your fists against his chest.
“He found the money! And he assumed I was going to pay him to sleep with me!”
“Stop it!” He snarled, grabbing your wrists, forcing you to cease your assault. “Look, I didn’t know you legitimately liked the guy!”
You snapped, yanking your wrists free before kneeing him in the crotch. Toji gasped out, hands reaching down, cupping himself as he stumbled. Vision blurring with tears, you weakly slapped at his shoulders.
“You’re always ruining everything! You broke my heart! I didn’t get to pastry school, and I lost a nice guy because of you!” A gut-wrenching sob made its way through you. “Did you stop to think that maybe I was happy?!”
Your heart was pounding, thundering in your ears as you cried, and cried, and you kept crying as Toji straightened. “Look, I didn’t know it was serious. But if you keep hitting me, we’re going to have a major fuckin’ problem.”
He hissed his vague threat through his teeth. Hearing that only pissed you off more. So you did what anyone else would to the man who broke your heart and kept butting in your life. You pulled your hand back and slapped him as hard as you could. He winced, bangs shielding his eyes as he growled.
When he snapped in your direction, he received another slap. It was when you went in for a third slap that Toji’s hand flew up, grabbing your wrist and squeezing it. He crowded you against the wall, scowling down at your smaller form.
“I told you to stop fucking hitting me!”
“I hate you! Let me go!”
“Are ya’ going to stop hitting me?!”
“No!”
“Then tough shit!”
You kicked at his shins, but he easily avoided you. You were going to kick his ass, beat him into a bloody pulp—once you freed yourself. But all the fight vanished as you saw two ivory fingers tap Toji on the shoulder. He turned around, only to be knocked back by a powerful punch. You stared at Toji, who spit out blood, his gaze locked on the man standing at six-three. Satoru shook his hand, fingers brushing over his knuckles as he glared.
His lip twitched, revealing sharp canines as he stepped forward. “Oh, you think that hurt? Wait until I get a good hit in.” He clenched his fists into tight balls, continuing to close the distance between them.
“Oh, you don’t wanna fuck with me. I’ll fuck up your face so bad you’ll never get a ‘client’ again.”
“Why you—”
“Wait!” You yelled out, jumping between the two men and holding your arms out. “Stop! Stop it!”
Satoru looked down at you as if you’d lost your mind, his momentum stopping. Toji kept moving until your fingers grazed his chest. With a deep sigh, you looked up at Satoru, giving him a gentle smile, one that had his cheeks flushing.
“I got this.” the softness of your voice was the only convincing he needed. With a curt nod, he crossed his arms over his chest as you turned to look into Toji’s eyes. “You have fucked with my life for the last time.”
“Oh really?”
“Yep!” You grinned wide and warmly before punching him directly in the nose. “Try that shit again! I dare you! I fuckin’ dare you!!”
“Oooh!” Just as you went in for another punch, you were picked up, and Satoru carried you out of the kitchen. “Easy there, I don’t want you getting arrested.”
You flailed in his arms, “I’m serious, Fushiguro!” Your ex groaned, cupping his hands over his bleeding nose as you jammed your finger at him. “That was the last time you’ll ever interfere with my life!” You glanced over your shoulder, watching Satoru grab his forgotten sunglasses off the counter before heading down the hall.
“Oh!” You heard your mother squeak out as Satoru passed them. “What’s going on? I thought you said Satoru left!”
Satoru grinned, turning to face her as he passed. “Me leave her?” He shifts, throwing you over his shoulder. “I’m not making that mistake again.” You squeak as he bounds down the hall.
“W-Wait, the cobblers! Mom, take them out of the oven!”
The halls were a blur as Satoru carried you to the room you both had shared. Only once inside, he gently places you down, taking several steps back, giving you space. You remained silent, nursing the hand you had punched Toji with.
“Do you want some ice?” Satoru said softly, eyes following you as you sat down on the futon, thumb rubbing over your red knuckles.
“No.”
You could hear him wince at your stiff tone. “Are you sure?” He slowly approached you, not moving too fast, as if you would bolt if he did. “It could make baking hard if you don’t take care of it.” Your heart slowly crawled up your throat as he sat before you, crossing his legs.
“You know what I want?” Satoru inhaled slowly, holding it for the briefest of moments before exhaling.
“No, what is it you want?”
You slowly lifted your head, eyes locked on his. He was stiff, pulse visible in his throat as he waited for you. Seeing him like this, like a child waiting to be reprimanded, had you swallowing hard as you opened your mouth, the words leaving Satoru’s eyes wide as he rocked back at your request.
“You want what?”
Tag List/ (AGE MUST BE IN BIO)
@arminloverlol @jamzywiththejam28 @gojoful @maskedpacific @ahseyy @kash77 @sadmonke @ari-maccha @sugurubabe @hyori2 @bluechocolatemint @itsinherited @dellappatca @therealestpussyeater @dead-at-tokyo @nvrgojover @drakenswifeyy @nealeart @yunho-leeknow @fire-child-kira @faeryminnyx @tqd4455 @harmonyflora @volkins181-blog @noukstmblr @lovley212 @stinkinstuffie @desihopelessromantic @witchbybirth @sonicsolos @lilbiguy @supsiii @rentheannihilator @bloopsstuff @pepepepepopopopo @pandoness @sw33cadav3r @rixo-19 19 @meguvmii @sxnkuna @mmeerraa @lemonintrovert01 1 @bunny-lily @kibananya @kamastar39 @rjreins @lzaj19 @tiredflame132 @manyno @oliiper @rengokushair @simp-plague @matchalatte06 @haesify y @majanggeum
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agirlcandream84 · 2 months
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Random Boyfriend!Frank Headcanons
Just thinkin' about girly things.
Frank would never let you be lifting heavy things. Not even in an obvious way, it's almost unconscious the way he grabs the pack of canned seltzers out of your hands at the store or takes the suitcase from your grip as you navigate the airport.
He's always making sure you've had food, not only worrying that you're taking care of yourself but also knowing how you get when your blood sugar is low. "Have a snack before you go, yeah? I don't need you gettin' cranky on me."
If you're out in public, he's always got a hand on you. Your lower back, cupping your ass, splayed on your thigh, holding your hand-- you're never not in his touch bubble out in public.
Oh he's DEFINITELY a one-hand-on-the-steering-wheel-one-hand-on-your-leg driver. It gives you butterflies every time.
The minute you two became official was the minute you never needed to fill your gas tank again. You honestly didn't know when he even filled the tank (answer: usually in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep anyway) but it was always full.
He is a MAJOR sucker for a back scratch. In fact, it's his favorite way to fall asleep, your manicured nails dragging lightly on his back
Speaking of sleep, he thinks its adorable when you fall asleep on the couch, 4 minutes into a movie. The minute he sees you adjust to a prone position he teases you with a "goodnight sweetheart" and watches the rest of the movie with you sleeping beside him. Then he grunts as he bends to scoop you up from the couch and tuck you into bed.
He is obsessed, I mean OBSESSED, with your vanilla perfume. The man practically went feral the first time he smelled it on you. You breezed past him after getting ready for work, getting your earrings in and your mind preoccupied and before you know it, he's got his arm around your waist and his nose to your neck, sniffing deeply. He only manages a 'fuck honey" before tugging at the fabric to open your wrap dress and get you naked.
He is ALWAYS misjudging your stature and putting away items way too high on the shelf. Every day you find yourself teetering on your toes to reach the damn honey before you feel him breeze up behind you and grabbing it with ease, planting a kiss on your temple and mumbling 'sorry sweetheart" before handing you the honey.
The man simply loves a creampie. He loves to admire the fruits of his labor, savoring the way it dribbles out of you when he finishes. You cover your face in shame and he just says "nah, show me that pretty face sweetheart-- love the way you take me like that"
He's always got cash on him and is ready to hand over a a few $20s when it's time for your mani pedi and you never have any on hand to tip the technicians.
Ok that's all for now. I want this forever and ever bye.
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yunohentai · 9 months
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night lights. warnings: noncon/cnc ?, pervert heeseung, boob guy hee, reader's older (like 2 years?), reader's shy and sophisticated, virgin reader + experienced hee, dumbification, she says no (which is like noncon) but is enjoying it so its cnc, clicking pics and recording sex too ig??, indication of blackmailing towards the end, he masturbates alot. this is like real filth with some wild kinks. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK + minors dni please.
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Lee Heeseung has huge secrets, everyone thinks he's a perfect boy with great grades and a promising future ahead... but little do they know. He's the biggest pervert you could come across. Just 19 yet he's obsessed with sex. He lost his virginity at the age of 17 to a 20 year old girl who rode his dick in a huge crowded party. he was so obsessed with the feeling that since then he's been having sex every week, different pussy every time and well he got blessed to have a huge, thick cock which he knew how to use well, oh and his amazing looks... got all the girls on his dick, ready to let him ruin them.
While you, Y/F/N... knows only the main thing. 'Sex is done to reproduce.' without too much of an idea, and neither you've ever felt any "dark" desire. Innocent little sweetheart who is focused on building up a career and leading a stable life. You love shopping, studying English literature and posting on Instagram. Your tits are so huge. It's as if your tits are honey and boys are bees, they want you and your body so much... but you don't wanna give it up.
Heeseung and you were in the same college but have never crossed ways until today. You were wearing a sage green dress till your knee, which showed alot of your cleavage, your sister always bought you outfits like those in hopes you'll finally have a boy in your life.
You were on your way to class while reading through your 'Wuthering Heights' notes quickly, not noticing your way as you bumped into a guy, falling on top of him. It was obviously none other than, Heeseung. It was a very bad collision. You fell in his lap, your arm hurting as he just stared at you with his mouth wide open, eyes on the main attraction, the huge tits that were almost slipping out of the dress.
Unknowingly his hand moved towards your chest, fixing your dress as you gasped softly and looked into his eyes. he felt your cleavage and the softness made him harden a little as he got up and helped you up too. "I'm so sorry." he apologized and bowed, eyes stuck on your milky white legs. "I'm sorry too! Please forgive me!" you felt really shy and guilty as you bowed, your breasts coming all out again as he moaned lowly and made you stand straight again, "hey it's fine. anyways, I'm heeseung. Freshman." you smiled at him while fixing your dress.
That fucking smile. His heart fluttered, and butterflies filled all of his stomach and he smiled too. "I'm Y/n, Junior." he nodded his head as her cheeks burned with shyness. "I hope we become friends." he winked and walked away, leaving you a mess because of how well that handsome boy treated you and even cared about how your dress revealed your private parts! so considerate!!
He had left straight for the bathroom as he then sat in cubicle, gasping to himself. " Oh wow" he said to himself as he then started wanking, he couldn't help thinking of her. Heeseung tries to use his negative emotions like, anger and all because he works his ass off all the time. So he mostly channels those emotions sexually, kinda hot.
~ ~ ~
The day had ended as you were by your locker, putting in your books and taking the one you're gonna study at home. as heeseung came running to you. "Oh my god- listen y/n do you major in English lit. ?" he asked her, acting all worried. as you nodded your head in confusion. "why?" you asked and he leaned on the lockers. "Okay so our teacher is making me get tutored by a very annoying girl so I told him I'll find someone else, and while looking for someone else I saw you. Do you mind?" he told her with a pout on his lips, and the look in his eyes, that could make everyone melt. "Hmm... I'm not that good at it but I can help."
heeseung smiled. " thanks alot!! btw, your number?" he asked with a pretty smile and you nodded while softly blushing as you both exchanged numbers and shook hands.
~ Timeskip to a month or so later ~
You and Heeseung sat in the hallroom of your rented apartment as you helped him out with the freshman English lit syllabus, wearing shorts and sleeve less top that barely kept your tits inside. "Okay let's take a two minute break." you said and took your phone scrolling through your instagram. you were wearing a really soft shade of pink which highlighted your hard nipples because of cold and your cleavage. Heeseung pulled out his phone and subtly clicked alot of pictures of them, from even different angles.
"hey, i'm gonna use the bathroom." he said and you nodded, very busy on your phone as he quitely went towards the bathroom but sneaked into your bedroom. he knew you won't look for him for the next 10 minutes, so he went into your wardrobe for like the 5th time this month and stole another pair of your panties, it was a lacy white one as he sniffed it and moaned. "Like always. even her fucking panties smell heavenly." he said and put it in his pocket as he went back outside.
he was a bit shocked to see you stretching from your spot, your complete breasts visible and ass in the air, as you lazily tried to grab the charger and your earphones. your hard pink nipples rubbed on the wool carpet getting harder as he felt his dick harden, he looked down and saw the boner. he sighed and coughed, making her gasp and sit back up, fixing her clothes. "Are you alright?" he asked and you nodded. "Let-let's get back to work!" you said and he shook his head. "Wait y/n let me help you." he said and smirked, he knew you were gullible and he could atleast get to touch your tits tonight.
He sat down, way closer to you than before. "Straighten your back." you were about to question but he shushed you and you nodded, giving up. You followed his command as he then leaned down, now his face was almost buried in your chest and your eyes widened. "Hees-" he silenced you and grabbed your tits using his hands. "Heeseung stop!" you said in an angry tone. "just let me do it, y/n!" he said and removed your shirt with one hand and held your hands tightly with the other one. he was so ecstatic to finally see the tits.
he hooked his lips on your nipple and started sucking on it aggressively while caressing the other one, you could feel wetness spread down between your legs. Confusion was what you felt, what's happening- why am i loving it..? she let out a string of hot moans as he grew harder and harder, he then sucked her tits really good, the nipples un-hardening slowly. he then pulled away.
"see. that's how they un-harden" he rolled his eyes and you looked into his eyes. "oh... thank you... heeseung.. can we conti-continue?" he shook his head. "I'm going home." you nodded as he left.
you didn't know or understand this feeling between your legs, as you went into your bedroom, touching between your legs and gasping. "Oh god- i'm just gonna sleep-" you gasped and hugged the pillow between your legs falling asleep.
And well in your sleep, you humped that pillow, thinking it's heeseung's thigh. oh your first wet dream!
while heeseung thrusted his dick into your panties, and also wanked himself off, moaning and grunting your name. how you moaned, your scent, the smell of you in the panties, your tits, your innocence, your beauty.. everything turned him on so bad as he grabbed his phone and wanked himself more and faster, watching you boobs.
~ The next week ~
For the full next week you were acting weird. turning red whenever heeseung was around, and not even avoiding him at all, trying to get closer to him. While heeseung enjoyed the attention and continued to secretly steal your panties and click lewd pictures of you.
For example, He dropped his fork down on purpose and went down the table, where you sat with your legs open wide and enjoyed the food as he clicked a photo. Then when you were busy looking for something under your bed, he got a picture of your perfect round ass. Oh and when you thought he was in the bathroom and sheepishly pushed your hand inside your shorts, feeling and caressing her clit. that photo made him feel so fucking turned on. he litreally caught you touching yourself, he thought. And last, when you had left your main door unlocked and he got in, you had taken off your lens and were showering, you didn't even see him when he got the most lewd of all pictures and videos. Photo and video of you squeezing and scrubbing your tits and them bouncing etc.
He was in love with your body and with sexualizing you. He was excited to fuck you and feel your pussy.
Today you went over to heeseung's so you could help him out with the work and studying as his exam was approaching. you wore the tightest and revealing dress today. it was till your thigh and super tight on the breast region making them pop out more. you had no idea why you were doing this but dressing up for him was fun.
you rang the bell and smiled as he opened the door. "hey y/n, welcome" he greeted as you walked in, taking of your jacket and hanging it. heeseung was done with life now, you're wearing a peach dress till your thighs which was flying everywhere because of the fan, showing him your black underwear and the fact your tits were spilling out and your nipples were visible, you weren't even wearing a bra.
he was now almost offended, she acts innocent? and then dresses like that? is she fooling me.. he pushed away the thoughts and led her into his bedroom as the two sat down and today you were helping him finish his sketches for submission. his arm was pressed in the region between your breasts as you led his hand and helped him sketch. "see, that's how you do it. you're bad at this." you said and continued to lead his hand, as your tits then rubbed on his arm.
That. drived him insane, but he held back and decided to play the same game with you. you giggled at his bad drawing and made fun of him. "Oh yeah? You're so mean" He said and started to tickle you as you giggled and fell backwards onto his bed as he was on top of you tickling you while you giggled and bounced. His eyes were stuck on your tits. "OKAY STOP STOP NOW."
He stopped and you looked into his eyes, seeing a certain look on his face which scared you and brought that same feeling between your legs. "Y/n, Can I?" he asked leaning in to kiss you as you let the thoughts leave your head and pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt and let him lead.
His hands were next to your head as he softly kissed you, slowly speeding up and biting your lips. His hands ranged lower while touching your thighs and touching you sensually as you made out with while breathing heavily. Soon the reality hit you as you pulled away and tried to push him off of you. "heeseung no no-"
You were resisting him but the soft look in his eye had now been replaced by something darker, something more scary. Chills went down your spine and your pussy fluttered. "Shh" He whispered and started to leave a trail of harsh bites kisses from your chin to your shoulder blade. "I've been waiting for this moment. Don't fuck it up for me."
"Heeseung stop, let me go." you said as a few moans left your mouth too. He rolled his eyes and slapped your face as you gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. With one swift moment he threw everything that was on the bed away and pulled you closer to him.
"Are you nicely gonna take it off or should i tear it off?" He asked as you looked at him with doe eyes hoping he'd stop but the need in your eyes stood out to him more. "Fine." And there was your dress, left only in shred around your thighs.
Your tits fell out with a small bounce as he licked his lip at that view. He shimmied off the shreds and your panties to the side as you tried to stop him, few tears forming in your eyes. I want to feel more.. you thought but tried to kick him off of yourself. "Please stop this!!"
His hand moved between your legs harshly as the other one held you down, he rubbed your clit harshly and waited for your wetness to grow so he could put his fingers inside your walls while you complained and cried. His lips were abusing your tits like an animal, biting, pulling the nipple and kissing them. You were moaning and rubbing your hips against his fingers while he thrusted them harshly.
"It- hurts.." You cried out with your eyes closed and he smiled. "Just the way my dick used to hurt watching you in those tiny clothes love." He said and continued abusing your tits and pussy. The tears weren't there because of disgust or any negative feeling, you were crying because you were actually liking it. You knew your dad would kill you if he found out you consummated before marriage.
He was just there admiring your beauty as you threw your head back and moaned softly to his touches. He moved a bit away and stopped touching you as you looked at him. He was rummaging through his side table cupboard as he pulled out a vibrator. You were confused as you watched his click a button and put it into your pussy. "OH GOD-" you moaned and threw your head back.
He then took off his own clothes and started to rub his tip while watching you get off. "Need to get my dick wet myself because you're too dumb to do it for me." He tsked. He noticed how the area around her breast and her face had turned, there was drowsiness in her eyes. "M-my belly-" you moaned as he then stopped to pull the vibrator out.
"Please stop it heeseung... this isn't r-right" You whispered as his hands moved behind your head, and he grabbed your head by your hair. His lips were inches away from yours as he whispered. "I don't care." and there he was, pushing both of your hands above your head and pushing your legs wide apart.
You could feel it, all too much. Even the smallest of touch and the smallest sound in the nearest area, you could feel it all, hear it all. You closed your eyes tightly, slowly fighting the grip his hand had on your hands while he just slid his penis inside you, your faces inches away as a few more tears fell out of your eyes. "I hate you" You whispered out as you felt rippling pain with his soft motion. "D-DON'T!" Heeseung stares at you as you complain about the slight pain.
"Be a woman, Y/n." He whispered as he slowly started to move, taking his time and let the pain turn into pleasure. The moment it did change, it was too clear. You couldn't protest anymore as your hands moved to his shoulder, scratching and wanting him to increase his speed so bad but no word left your mouth except the moans.
"Fuck. this feels so good. so so good" he panted out like an excited child, but in a deep voice. You could feel the shivers on your back as you shook underneath him, letting your breasts bounce and jiggle with each and every hard thrust. Heeseung continued to pound into you senselessly, his eyes stuck on your breasts well it shifted to see your face twist into a pleasure-ful expression. "Gorgeous"
His hands were free now so they dived lower, rubbing your clit while he moved his hips graciously rubbing against THE stop. You felt these overwhelming feelings for the first time in your life, you knew you could just explode anytime and then there came the tickles in your belly. "My belly!" you gasped as you felt his pace increase, it was indicating your coming orgasm and well also how deep his dick was into you. It could be seen when he thrusted inside. "m-my god-"
"You're all mine now" he smiled, watching his cock create the bulge in your belly, proudly. He groaned when you clenched a little too hard on his dick. It twitched inside of you, as you felt him paint your insides white. That feeling broke your control too as you felt all of your tension and stress evaporate along with the "liquid".
You felt free, but little did you know by putting that small camera right in the correct corner... he might have changed everything, and made sure that you stay with him and only him.
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we-out-here-simping · 2 months
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You, Me, Lonely.
(s.h. x reader)
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from the river to the sea (educate yourself and help however you can)
Summary: you love Steve, Steve loves you. But maybe you both want different things from life.
Warnings/tags: reader menstruates (reader has uterus), abandonment issues, the ‘six nuggets’ talk, suggestive
Word count: 3.4k
masterlist
a/n: huge huge huge thanks to @procrastinationprincesses for helping me out with this fic and giving it an ending (ur amazing sanjana <3)
writing and posting something because i might have to go MIA for a lil bit (miss me while I'm gone will ya?)
fic is inspired by ‘You, Me, Lonely’ by FIZZ i absolutely love this song like its so close to my heart ughh what can i say I'm a little bitter about the six nuggets scene 
also if you couldn't tell already I have major abandonment issues and an anxious avoidant attachment style. It will reflect in what i write soz :(
In the quiet of the night, you wish for this to last forever. That you'll have him forever.
When you came out of the shower you found him asleep on his side of the bed. His side– the one closer to the door. ‘so I can protect you from anyone who'll try to steal you from me’, he had justified it when you asked him why he was adamant on that side.
you had turned off the bedside lamp ten minutes ago, slipped under the duvet, as quietly as possible so as to not wake him up. on your side of his bed. your bed.
He always sleeps on his stomach, one hand under his pillow and the other extended a little towards yours. His body moves with steady and slow breaths, back rising and falling under the covers, head peeking out from under the rumpled up duvet. his cheeks are squished against the pillow cover. His hair is a mess from the lack of hair product, and still damp from the shower he took before you. There's a few strands of his brown hair sprawled across his forehead too. With your softest touch you brush them away from his eyes.
You wonder what he was dreaming. you hope it was something nice. He looks calm, at peace, and very, very pretty.
You look at him and you know you love him. You want to love him forever.
Love had never seemed like the type of thing you’ll get– like it wasn't meant for you. But then you met him. This boy. This boy who you never thought to be your type. You never thought you even had a type. But his boyish charm and stupid grin won you over.
Your heart doesn't skip beats around him anymore, and you’d think that that means he doesn’t have that same effect on you anymore but that would be wrong. You don’t think you’ve ever loved anyone as much as you do to him. You don’t look at him and get butterflies in your stomach, you look at him and… you’re sure. your heart is quiet and sure. You don't think you’ve ever been sure before.
You want to be sure forever.
He feels like the comfortable still of rain after a scorching hot summer, like the calm and cold breeze that cools you down. Like standing at the top of the mountain, looking at the clouds and valleys below, he feels like the crisp air that fills your lungs. Like the comfort meal your mom makes– the one you can never really recreate, the one that tastes the best when it comes from her. 
You love him and you know. You know. You know he likes you, loves you even. 
Steve Harrington loves you like a dream, and you're worried that one day he’ll wake up, look at you and realise that he deserves so much better. He’ll wake up and he’ll leave for work and he’ll bump into a pretty angel of a girl with a disposition as bright as his. And he’ll never return. people fall out of love. People fall out of love all the time.
You wish for him to love you forever.
How long is a forever anyway?
You wonder what it'll be like. When you're older, with wrinkles, white hair and weaker limbs. 
It's like you see it.
You and him in a bed– just like now but older, wiser, more tired. His back turned to you. There'd be distance between you two, you’d want to move closer and hold him– but you wouldn't. You’d just stare at the back of his head, counting all the grey hairs you’d memorised like all the moles and wrinkles on his skin.
You’d notice his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest and you would have known him so long and so well that you'd just know that he wasn't actually asleep. you'd know why he wasn't asleep.
there'd be a pain in your chest. You would know what it is, why its there. You would gulp and try not to think about it.
“Do you always stare at me in my sleep?” his groggy voice pulls you out of your own head.
You blink, multiple times. Forever, right.
He softly smiles up at you. You blink away before moving to lay on your back, the sheets rustling with your movement. “sorry I woke you up”, you mumble an apology, staring at the ceiling, you fail to hide the shake in your voice.
“Y’kay?” 
“Yeah.” the sheets beside you ruffle but you keep your eyes trained on the ceiling. it seems inevitable. You know, one day it'll happen and despite having expected it, it’ll be the greatest heartbreak of them all. 
“Thinking ‘bout somethin’?” he sounds a bit more awake.
“When am I not?” you shake your head and laugh hoping he doesn't notice that it isn't real, thankful that the curtains didn't let in any moonlight and that you had turned off the lights.
“What is it?” but this is Steve, he doesn’t need to see you to know how you’re feeling.
“Nothing.”
“Were you lying about liking the pasta I made?”
“No, Steve it was good”, a real laugh slips out of you, and you finally look at him. He’s leaning on his elbow, the messy head of hair in his hand, looking down at you. You suddenly wish it wasn’t so dark so you could see the colour of his eyes, the moles and freckles on his skin.
“Then what?”
“Nothing.” your gaze moves back to the ceiling.
“Must be something if it's keeping you up”, you feel him shift closer to you. He smells of fresh shower, mint, shaving cream and washed laundry. 
“No, I'm just….  not sleepy.”
“Yeah?”, he raises his eyebrows with a sly smirk, “Well, I know a way to make you sleepy”, he leans down– both arms caging you in, landing a kiss on your neck before trailing further up to your lips. and its lovely, so god damn lovely, you don't want it to stop but this hurts.
“Ste– mmph– Steve stop”, you turn your face away, because if he keeps going, you think you'll cry, palm pushing flat against his bare chest, “I’m– I'm not in the mood.”
“Okay, I'm sorry”, he moves back onto his one elbow. The silence gestates for a while, you can feel his eyes on you. The ticking of the clock is the only thing heard through the room before he softly says, “Hey, please tell me what's happening?”
“Nothing”, you shook your head, “I’m just tired.”
“You just said you're not sleepy.”
“J– just go back to sleep okay? sorry for waking you up”, you turn onto your side, face away from him. 
He sidles up behind you after a second or two, warm breath across the back of your neck, you squeeze your eyes shut. “yeah, like that's gonna put me to sleep", he mutters behind you.
His arms snake around your waist, pulling you in closer, “C'mon, you know I wont be able to sleep after fighting”, burying his nose in your hair– he sighed.
“Did you just sniff my hair?”
“Yeah, I do all the time. smells s’good."
"You pervert", you both laugh lightly at that, your hand going for his around your waist, before your smiles fall and silence takes over once again. 
You lick your drying lips, you forgot to put on lip balm again, “We’re not fighting, Steve.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
You take in a deep breath in, fingers drawing patterns on the back of his hand, you breath out, “m’sorry.”
His arms squeeze tighter around you, he lets out a quick sigh before placing a kiss on your shoulder, “I’ll forgive you if you tell me what’s going on with you.”
“Steve…”, your voice trails off, you're not even sure what you were going to say.
“Is it— Is it your…. Uh, that time of the month?”
That makes you want to roll your eyes at him and smack his chest but you restrain yourself, you’re not sure if you want him to see your eyes right now anyway. Instead, you sigh,  “I had it last week, Steve.”
You got it in this very same bed. Awoken by cramps in the middle of the night. and Steve, your lovely Steve had given you a hot water bag while he took off the sheets and put on fresh new ones and then gave you a soft massage that put you to sleep.
“right... yeah, sorry," he says all sheepish, “So what is it then? Did someone say somethin’ at work?”
“No.”
“Did I.. " he hesitated a little, "did I say something?”
“...no”, you curse yourself for pausing before saying it.
“I did, didn't I?”
“No, no. you–”
“honey, you should tell me if I ever say stupid shit– you should call me out immediately–”
“You didn't say anything stupid or whatever. I'm the one who's being stupid.”
his hold on you loosened, he shifted back to give you space to turn around, “What did I say? Hey, look at me,” you finally turn in his hold, facing him “what did I say?”
“We’d have the cutest little kids, won't we?”
“..what?” You stood infront of the kitchen sink. your hands stopped their scrubbing at the pot you were washing. You tilted your head towards him who had his head rested on your shoulder, his arms around your waist.
“Little Harringtons”, you could hear the smile on his lips.
“Harringtons?”
“Or maybe we get our names hyphenated. That works too, it’d be cute”, his hands hold your waist, his duty of drying the plates abandoned. “They’d have my fabulous hair, and your pretty, pretty eyes– cutest kids around the block”
“Our kids?” you repeated dumbly.
“Yeah, and six of ‘em. six little nuggets. They’ll make up half of a football team”, he giggled, warm air hitting the side of your face, “Doesn’t that sound lovely?” he smiled at you.
“...yeah. Yeah, it does.” you smiled back at him which only made him grin wider. His arms tighten around you again, and lips start a trail from behind your ears to down your neck.
You scoffed softly "You’re supposed to help me wash dishes you filthy animal." 
“Oh, fine,” he gave you an over dramatic sigh, before his hands left your sides, skin feeling lonely as ever.
“No, it's fine. I’m almost done anyway", you went back to scrubbing at the bottom of the pot, "Just go and take a shower, you reek.”
“Alright, fine, I’ll go!” he groaned, playfully as a kid, before he leaned against the counter, looking at you with his ‘Harrington charm’. His voice is silky when he asks, “Will you join me?”
“Steve." you said it almost as a warning.
“I don’t hear a no.”
“Okay then, no.”
“Tomorrow morning…?”
“I have an early shift tomorrow, you horndog.”
“We'll make it work.”
“No.”
“Okay", he sighs, “come up quickly though, I wanna be the big spoon today”, pecking your cheek before leaving for the shower upstairs.
Looking at him, you brush the now mostly dry hair falling on his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Your fingers lingered there, you smile, “nothing, Steve.”  your thumb rubs back and forth on the apple of his cheeks. “You didn’t say anything. it's stupid.”
His hand reaches up to hold your fingers in place, he turns his head a little to kiss your knuckles, “okay, I didn't say anything” he kisses your knuckles again, gaze stuck to your face, “but could you tell me what it is you think you’re being stupid about?”
God, I love him, you think. “Don't worry about it”, your voice barely a whisper as you attempt to give him a smile. You move closer, planting a slow kiss on his lips which are so much softer than yours– he never forgets his chapstick.
And god, you needed this, your brain stops when you kiss him. thoughts quelled and its quiet again. After some time though, your throat starts to burn and your chest is on the verge of a sob. So, when you pull away, you fail to hide the stuttered breath that you take in.
Steve knew there was something to worry about, but when he hears your breath that almost sounds like a sob, he’s immediately on high alert. Before he can brush your hair out of your face to look at you, really look at you, you bury your face in his chest.
It takes him a second to realize that you’re crying and it breaks his heart because you’re trying to hide it.
“Baby..” he feels you curl in further, your face warm against his skin. He moves to pull you in closer, palm holding the back of your head. He just wanted to take away whatever it was that was bothering you. He tried to pull away to get a look at your face to help you calm down but you wouldn't let him. He settles on carding his fingers through your hair, rubbing circles on the little sliver of exposed skin between your t-shirt and shorts, hoping it gives you some sort of comfort.
"Honey", it is then that you finally let in a shaky breath. he feels the skin where you hid your face get wet maybe with tears, sweat, snot, he didn't care-- he just wanted to take all your pain away.
You both stay that way, and you're suprised by how much you sob, how hard you heave. You weren't sure how long you stayed that way, maybe minutes, maybe hours, however long. It feels like forever.
At this moment, encased in Steve's arms, breath hot against his skin, despite the nose plugged with snot, lashes clumped with tears, eyes squinted shut, you think this is comfortable. Yet it hurts. Because you'll have to pull away. It hurts so damn much because you know how this can go, you know it can hurt so, so much more. You know it will hurt.
You want this to last forever, however fucking long one of those is.
So, you hold on longer because, you’re selfish with your love for Steve. You're selfish because despite the heartache, you’ll have him, for as long as you can.
His hold on you gentle yet firm, as if afraid he'd break you. In your head, he already had. He tries to pull away again, to look at you but you can't. Your eyes still squinted close, willing it all to be a stupid dream. “Honey, I promise you whatever it is, you can tell me”, he says, voice soft as feather. Of course it's not a dream.
Your tongue betrays you, “Its…s–” stupid. Silly. It really doesn't feel stupid or silly, but god, you're so scared that you can't say it, you didn't want to say it because if you do it’ll come true, wont it?
“Whatever it is that you think is stupid," he assured you as if he could read your mind, "I still want to hear it because I know I won't think it's stupid."
suddenly it burns, and you need air. you sit up and try not to think about how ridiculously not pretty you probably look with snot running down your face, “What if- what if we- we end up hating each other?” you manage to say through hiccups.
“What?” he sits up as well, he says as if you had said the most ridiculous thing, “I'll never hate you, honey.”
For some reason, tears fill your eyes again at that, “Steve, you don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“No. Ste– people fall out of love, Steve- all the- all the time.” It terrifies him how convinced you sound of it.
“Do..... do you think you’ll fall out of love with me?”
The question startles you, its evident in your wide eyes, “Wha– what?”
“Do you think… you’ll fall out of love with me?" he repeats, "You think you’ll hate me?”
You shake your head, the tear that had been sitting on your lower lash finally slides down your already tear-stained cheek.
“Good." he wipes the wet trails left behind with his thumb, "then, why would I hate you?”
Your face twists into an expression that Steve wasn't sure what to describe it as. a deep frown on your lips, chin wobbly, brows scrunched up together, eyes red and tired yet nostrils flared. “‘Cause", you start but before you could continue another sob leaves you. you look down at your lap, trying to catch your breath. it takes you a minute before you begin again, "do you remember.... what you said about our kids?”
He nods, heart clenching at the way your voice breaks, “I don't think I can… do that”, he doesn't think he's ever heard you sound so broken. “I– I don't think if I– if I want that.”
He sits silent and you think this is it. maybe forevers aren't that long after all.
More tears fall, more sobs leave you, you don't bother to wipe them. What's it matter anyway? He hates you already. He's probably thinking of a way to let you down easily because he is kind like that “Honey.. I want a family..” you feel your heart ripping in two and you just can't look at him.
“And I want you to be a part of that family. I– I want you to be the person I built a family with, no matter the size." He wipes at both your cheeks again, making you look at him, "even if its just us.”
The relieved smile he expected from you isn't there, instead, you frown, the crease between your brows deepens. the part that hurt the most was that you push his hands away, “you’re saying that now, but what happens when years down the line, when we’re old, you– you end up resenting me. Y- you love me right now, I know. But how do you know you wont end up hating me like, ten years later?”
“I dont want to watch you grow old and hate me and then leave me, Steve. I’d rather end this now if we’re destined to just end up unhappy together.”
“We’re not. Okay? We’re not. I know I wont hate you, ever.” He reaches for your hands again. He kisses your fingers before continuing, “And I know that I want you, just you and whatever that– that that comes with. We could never have kids and I would never hate you for it.”
“You won't be happy", you say meekly, like he'd be mad at you for speaking what was on your mind to him, “You wont hate me but you wont be happy either”, you muttered, chin ducked into your chest.
“Honey”, he hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head to make you look at him, to make you understand. “you’re what I need to be happy. You make me happy. And.. I’d hope you need me to be happy too”, a wet chuckle escapes you at that. A hint of a smile on your face despite the tears.
“You do, don’t you?” he clarified with a soft smile of himself.
You nod, "yeah", letting out a loud sniffle.
“Good. I know its scary but you’ve gotta put your trust in me. Trust me enough to believe in me when I say that you are what makes me happy. and I am happy."
He wipes away gently at your face, ridding it of the tear stains, “Sometimes, you’ve just gotta trust. I promise I’ll never break it.” 
You sob again but it's lighter than before, you wrap your arms around his neck and feel the weight you felt get lifted, you sniffle into the crook of his neck, "thank you."
You feel his lips on your hairline, "Let's go back to sleep, yeah?"
"Yeah. You still wanna be the big spoon?"
"yeah, I think you need to be the little spoon today." he pulls you down with him, your back to his chest, kissing the skin behind your ear he finally settles in beside you.
You call out his name, he hums in response. "how long do you think a forever is?"
"I don't know, honey."
"Can we stay like this forever?"
"Um.. if you mean us staying forever then yes, definitely forever. But, if you meant me being the big spoon forever, baby, I'm not sure if I'll be able to commit to that."
You laugh, "I love you." you confess.
"I love you too."
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tarotwithavi · 9 months
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How are you glowing up?
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How to choose a pile?
Take a deep breath and gently close your eyes. Politely request your spirit guides to reveal the appropriate pile meant for you, then open your eyes. Whichever pile captures your attention is the one meant for you.
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Pile 1
Hello my pile 1! I've noticed you've been putting in some serious work and hustle to chase your goals. Looks like some of you have been giving your body some love too! I'm seeing you hitting the gym, doing yoga, and taking care of yourselves, major kudos for that. It seems like all this effort is gonna pay off. You're on track to see those results you've been after. Also, brace yourselves, because there's a swarm of potential partners headed your way. Lots of proposals might be coming in hot. I'm getting that a makeover might be on the horizon. Maybe you'll finally let go of those nagging thoughts and chop your hair, grab a tattoo, or snag a new piercing. The vibe I'm getting is that this change will help you feel like your authentic self and boost your confidence. your dream job is in sight! You've been longing for it, and it's making its way to you. Now, about that spiritual journey you're on – it's gonna be quite the ride. Big changes are afoot, and yeah, they might bring some rough patches. I won't lie, spiritual awakenings can throw things out of whack. You might lose some friends, maybe even have some family stuff to deal with. But remember, all of this is gonna teach you lessons and lead to better days ahead.
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Pile 2
Hey pile 2, I've got a feeling that some of you might've gone through a recent loss or missed out on an opportunity that's bugging you. Hold tight, because the upcoming twists in your life are gonna be jaw-dropping. Stressed about your studies, huh? Well, I see a mentor striding into the scene. They're gonna drop some serious wisdom bombs on you and help you level up in whatever you're studying. This one's especially for all you students out there. It seems like some of you have been dabbling in singing. Turns out, you're toying with the idea of making a career out of it. Your voice is gonna go through a crazy transformation. It'll become so captivating and irresistible that people are gonna be head over heels for it. Air energy is flooding this reading, so you might be an air sign or have a strong connection to it. Some of you are in for a big surprise, an invitation that's gonna turn your world around. You've been waiting on this one for a while, and it's finally here. Remember, your existence is massive and you're destined for some seriously awesome stuff. Keep that self-belief rocking and keep pushing forward, beause you're bound to snag every single dream you've got.
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Pile 3
Hey there pile 3! So, while I was tuning into the messages for you, the first thing that popped up was "get ready for some justice served!" The rough patch you've been going through is finally taking a backseat. All those pesky things that were bugging you? Yup, they're on their way out! It seems like you might have had a recent breakup or some friend drama. But hold on tight, because these experiences are going to fire you up to stand up for yourself. Those choices you've been putting off? Time to make them! I'm sensing a major revenge glow on the horizon. Those doubters? They're in for a shock, because you're about to become the center of attention. People are going to flock to you, and even that social media game of yours. One of those videos might just blow up big time! And hey, not only are you going to be a total magnet, but your skin is going to start clearing up and your hair? Oh, it's on its way to luscious town. Every little thing about you is on the transformation train, think caterpillar to butterfly style. You're stepping into a time of being genuinely attractive and You're finally going to be getting the attention you've totally earned. Pisces energy is heavy in his pile.
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xervn · 2 months
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like a french girl 🎨
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part 3 - french girl | art major ellie x dance major reader
last chapter | next chapter
ao3 link
summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.
18+ MDNI | 3.8k words | slow burn(?), mutual pining, loser ellie, recreational drug use (weed)
a/n: this took so long because im an intp AND a taurus *makes excuses for myself* also tysm to everyone who commented on the last chapter ur amazing and ily ♥
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Ellie’s in nothing but her underwear, legs criss-crossed on her navy comforter; holding a joint between her lips as she tunes the strings of her maple wood guitar. It’s a lazy Saturday, the one day out of seven where Ellie isn’t constantly tormented by homework and art projects.
These days are practically therapeutic for her. Being able to strum her fingers against the nylon strings and relish in the relaxing, skunky smell of cannabis can fix all of her problems. Minus one, of course: getting to know you better. 
For now, she’s at peace with doing nothing, that is until a loud ding goes off and the brightness of her phone flashbangs her otherwise dim-lit room. She scowls, exhaling a puff from her lungs as she reaches over for the device. Ellie has friends, but she’s no social butterfly. Her phone is usually dry, especially on weekends. Jesse is definitely with Dina, so unless it's serious; there’s no reason for her to be getting a text. 
Naturally, her scowl deepens when she reads that the number is unknown. 
???: hii
ellie: wrong number
She opts to toss her phone away, but the next message throws her off track. 
you: it’s — !
Ellie’s eyes widen at her screen like your name is a hypnotic spiral. She can feel her heart swelling well within her chest, and she’s left wondering if the weed she’s smoking is laced or if she somehow manifested you. Ellie quickly transfers her blunt in one hand and her phone in the other, straining her thumb trying to type as fast as she can to you. 
ellie: oh hdy! 
ellie: hey*
you: dina gave me ur number, i hope that’s okay 
ellie: yeah ofc it is :-)
ellie: i was planning on giving it to you
Ellie typed that half-lie slowly, weighing how true it really was as she pressed send. It was on her plan of things she’d like to do before dying, but even then she doesn’t think she would ever gain the courage. 
you: oh thank god
you: i thought i might be intruding 🙁
ellie: never, what’s up?
you: can i ask you something?
ellie: yes of course aks me anythign
ellie: ask* anything* shut sorry
ellie: SHIT
you: lmao are you okay??
ellie: yeah… forget about that, ask away
you: well i was wondering if you could help me study? im failing my anatomy class..
you: if u can’t it’s okay though!
A sheepish grin spreads across Ellie’s face, as she thinks about all the scenarios that could lead to. To think she’d finally have an excuse to see you after weeks of hoping, of praying for the opportunity. You asked her for help instead of taking other options, especially considering how much easier it would’ve been for you to. 
ellie: its no problem, id be glad to help :-)
you: really?? ur a lifesaver els, tysmm
you: when are you free?
ellie: Right now.
ellie: or whenever .
you: let’s meet at the library in 20?
Almost instantly, Ellie’s excitement warps into anxiety. She wasn’t particularly ready to see you and twenty minutes doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to get her shit together. She thought you’d ignore her impulsive desperation of “right now” and set plans for a later date, but, alas, you didn’t.
Ellie rubs her forehead with her blunt holding hand, trying to scratch the itch of her worries away with just her pinky and thumb. Despite her increasing knowledge of you over the past few weeks, she was still incredibly nervous to be around you. 
Ellie takes one final hit of her joint before snuffing it out in a doob tube on her nightstand. She sets her guitar against her bed and nearly falls off trying to get up in a rush, even though she has more than enough time to get ready. 
She stumbles around the room to put something on, settling with a gray hoodie and a pair of jeans. She attempts to keep her balance as she hastily shoves each leg through her pants; simultaneously eyeing around her room in an attempt to remember where exactly she put her anatomy textbooks. 
Ellie hears a familiar ding from her bed and she snaps towards it to pick up her phone, peering at the screen.
you: ellie?
Ellie curses under her breath, scolding herself for forgetting to text you back. She taps on the keyboard, quickly making sure she doesn’t manage another typo before hitting send.
ellie: sorry! yeah i’ll see you in twenty!
you: awesome :) 
You weren’t ready to see Ellie either, you figured, since it took you hours to actually text her. You made up far-fetched scenarios with the worst outcomes; the one where she immediately deletes your number tormented you for quite a while. Now you’re trudging across campus to meet her, internally at war with your mixed emotions. On one hand you get to hang out with a cute girl and on the other you’re hanging out with a really cute girl. Alone. Zero friends around. 
There’s a chance you two might not have anything to talk about. You guys are only mutual friends after all. Even if you guys somehow manage to start a conversation, what if she comes to not like you by the end of it, or vice versa? Not to mention the window incident you’re both hoping the other forgot. 
You hesitate in your steps as you reach the library doors. It’d only take a few seconds to spin around and walk back, but how could you leave her there? You thoughtlessly chew on your lip, eyes worriedly shifting around. 
You can’t recall any moment you’ve been so anxious about meeting up with a girl before. Not once, not even in a distant memory. You’ve always been the bolder one in your endeavors. The fact that Ellie is the only girl to make you feel this way has to mean something. You slowly pace in front of the doors in an attempt to dissipate your worries, nodding to your inner thoughts and ignoring the probable concerned stares in the distance. You’re the one who invited her, so you’re gonna stick it the fuck through. You couldn’t bail before testing the waters, you’d never forgive yourself.
So you barge into the building, letting the cool air hit your face from the swinging doors; granting you a waft of leather and drying ink. The building was decorated with freakishly tall dark wood bookshelves; so high, there were beige ladders in place to reach the top shelves. As expected, it was quiet, empty and definitely overfunded. Studying has never been your forte and you’ve never stepped in this building; save for a few dance history books. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case for everyone else. Thankfully, one pro definitely outweighs those cons. Ellie was going to help you study. Ellie is the reason you’re here at all.
You tidy up your outfit that you diligently put together and roam farther into the library, trying to hold down a smile that’s impossible to hold down. In fact, it completely takes over your face. You need to simmer down your giddiness before you start skipping around. You purse your lips and briefly steady your eyes on the dark, olive carpeted floor ahead of you. 
You head towards the front desk that’s just a sunken step away with the intention of asking for directions to the study hall. An older lady is sitting there, glowering with obvious annoyance definitely because of your loud entry. It’s been ages since you’ve been in the library— your failing grade proves that— and clearly you’ve forgotten all the rules with it.
A flash of guilt passes through you and you force an apologetic smile. She returns it with a grunt and you immediately redirect yourself further into the library; aimlessly in search for the study hall. 
-
You’ve been walking around for a solid five minutes and you swear you’ve passed the same fantasy section a million times now. It’d be smart to text Ellie and tell her you’ll be late, but your ego won’t let you. 
The looming large, ornate bookshelves certainly don’t make it any easier for you to navigate around.
The question of why the school spent so much money on all this occupies your mind as you venture further. You make a turn around a corner you’ve definitely made before, and you sigh at the familiarity of the area in front of you. 
You keep pressing forward anyway, hoping you can manage a new route this time around.
Before you can make another turn, you’re interrupted by drowned footsteps behind you blending into your own, followed by a tap on your shoulder. You flinch at the sudden touch, sharply turning around only to see Ellie looking at you with a downward smile. 
“Lost?” She sarcastically presumes, her viridescent eyes taking in your shocked yet relieved expression. 
You fiddle with the straps of your backpack between your fingers, shyly glancing around you. “No, I was just… looking for more textbooks.” You nod sagely at your own words, as if you’re trying to convince yourself too.
“Oh? Next to—“ The auburn-haired girl squints at the shelf behind you before adorning a wide grin, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets?” 
Your brows raise and you follow her eyes onto the obviously fiction-filled bookcase. “Uh, yeah? I’ve got Professor Snape at four.” 
Ellie narrows her eyes at you in amused disbelief, trying not to laugh at your adorably dorky excuse.
Dramatically sighing in defeat, “Fuck, okay, you got me.” You say lowly, a bashful smile developing on your lips.  
“You passed the study hall five times. I counted.” Ellie goads.
You partially suppress your laugh, mindlessly giving her arm a light smack. “Oh, my god. Don’t tell me that!” 
She dotes on your laughter and your touch; whether it was intentional or not. Either way, she’s feeling good about herself now and her previous worries about this encounter floated away, and you could safely say the same. 
“It’s a good book though, we can go back and get it. No need to be shy about it.” Ellie quips.
“Shush!” 
With Ellie as your guide, the trip to the study hall was much easier than you made it out to be. You recognized the big glass windows you passed by often and when you stepped into it, you flushed with embarrassment. It was a direct contrast to the old-fashioned, mahogany colored library you’d been meandering around. 
Ellie really could’ve counted the times you walked by, and she really did. The first time, she thought you must’ve seen a friend and left to catch up with them. However, the second time around she realized you might be lost. 
She was going to text you and tell you to turn around, but she thought it was cute seeing you walk in circles, ignoring literally every sign in your way. By the fourth time, she could tell you thought you were in a time loop and she found it fucking hilarious. Someone like you, seemingly exceptional in everything but directions. The fifth time came and, of course, she decided she was being cruel and had to come help you herself. 
Ellie leads you to the desk where she’s set camp at, and the amount of books and paperwork makes you dizzy. “Jesus, Els. Are you teaching me the entire course?” 
She takes a seat before giving you an answer, “Well.. That depends on how bad you’re failing.” 
You take a seat across from her, setting your backpack on the floor before resting your forearms on the oak table. “My teacher said I was dumb as fuck and essentially called me a homophobic slur.” You’re exaggerating, obviously, but that was exactly what it felt like.
Ellie scoffs out a sound, unsure of whether to laugh or be offended for you. “Damn... It’s Bill, isn’t it? God, that guy is a fuckin’ prick.” She questions, clearly unsurprised by his actions.
You sit upright in your chair, relief shining through your words, “Yes! Is that his thing?” 
Ellie casually leans back, thinking back to when she was a student of his. “Oh, yeah. He’s a blunt guy, shitty filter,” She continues, and somehow you’re both meeting each other’s looks, “But he’s fair with his grades, n’ I know it doesn’t make it any better, but he has a husband. He’s just… old.. and grumpy.”
You try to consider that he is letting you retake a major grade. You guess you could appreciate that somewhat. “True... still, the comment was unprovoked. You must know him well though?” 
“Yeah, I took his class last year. We were at each other's throats about coursework n’ shit. Really hard to reason with that guy.” Ellie purposely leaves out the part where she was being unreasonable too, but only for the sake of storytelling, of course. “Then that summer, I saw him at a family gathering.” She finishes off with a dramatic shiver in disgust and you laugh at how endearing it was. 
“Anyways, his gaydar is somethin’ else. I can never tell.” She admits, carelessly waving a hand in the air. Ellie’s radar in particular is broken. Shattered, even. She can’t keep track of the amount of times she has stood in the shower, realizing a girl was flirting with her only days later. 
“Even with me?” 
“Even with you...” She speaks with artificial sadness and a slight sulk.
“Ouch… I’m wounded.” You fake a frown, slightly dropping your shoulders.
Ellie’s eyes fall to your nails; some suspiciously shorter than the others, and all painted in your favorite color. “But… that I know for sure, I can definitely tell.” Ellie comments.
 A swarm of butterflies suddenly parade your belly, and you shine a coy smile her way. “They’re not short because of that…” Your half-hearted attempt to defend yourself drips in the lightness of your voice.
Ellie briefly raises her eyebrows with a sly smile plastered on her face, folding her arms over her chest; which, unbeknownst to you, was to shield how hard her heart was thumping. She’s shocked she hasn’t turned into a pile of mush yet, probably thanks to her smoke session earlier.
“I’m serious! I keep my hands to myself.” You continue on, putting in a little effort in your voice for your defense this time. For the most part it is true, lately your mind has been on Ellie, and Ellie only. The thought of random flings didn't excite you, but she did. However, it wasn’t not true that you’ve had a fair share of hookups. You’re in an art school, how could you not? 
“C’mon, just yourself? I’m sure you've cared to share.” Ellie playfully pokes around you with her words; nonchalant and prone for a reaction. 
Your jaw slightly drops, making your head tilt to the side incredulously. “Wow. What makes you think that?”
Ellie unfolds her tattooed arm to rub her palm against the back of her neck, responding unexpectedly timid, “Hey, ‘m not blind. I know you’re popular.” 
You snicker at her explanation and shake your head. “They’re friends. You can be friends with girls even if you’re gay, Ellie.”
“Friends don’t touch you like that.” She notes with an uncharacteristically stern expression.
It surprises you for a second, but all it makes you wanna do is poke fun, tease her, and see where it’d go. “Like what?”
Ellie sighs, reluctantly explaining further, “Like they’ve touched you before.”
“Straight girls are touchy.” You shrug, purposefully ignoring what she tried to imply. 
The way you said it so matter-of-factly makes Ellie’s eyes roll. “You know I don’t mean it like– ugh, my judgment is usually fucked up, but that? That I can tell the difference with.” Ellie states with surety.
You narrow your gaze at her, a teasing grin forming on your lips. “What are you jealous or something?” 
“Of you or the girls?” 
“Oh, the girls were an option?” You playfully remark, but also with honest curiosity in how she’d answer. 
Ellie clears her throat and leans forward to place her textbooks into view, trying to hide the blush spreading across her features. She’s not doing a great job at it and you’d love to tease her some more, but you can settle with taking the win for now. 
Night crept up faster than you both anticipated, the ambient sounds of paper printing and carts rolling by were no longer prevalent. The only thing filling the room is the buzz of the light fixture above and the words you two exchange. The table is cluttered with Ellie’s open notes and some textbooks with neon page markers poking out the sides. It wasn’t organized by any means, but it was a mess you both found easy to work around. 
Surprisingly, Ellie is a great tutor. When she saw your paper, she didn’t make fun of you like you thought she would. Instead, she expressed how grating it is to remember all that crap and you shouldn’t give yourself a hard time over it. 
To help you memorize the muscles of the body, you guys settled on one area and made up silly rhymes for it. She tried to argue that brachiosaurus was perfect for brachialis even though it didn’t even rhyme. You even gave her the chance to pick a different one, but then she said brachyceratops with a mockingly straight face and you knew she couldn’t be trusted for the task anymore.
The air between you two wasn’t stuffy or silent like you feared it’d be. Ellie made you laugh, not in the breathy forced way you’ve unknowingly gotten used to making. 
She made sure you listened to her tips & tricks, made you review your mistakes so you wouldn’t repeat them again.
You hadn’t picked up your phone for anything other than to google things on the subject, and your ringer? Off. Your attention never strayed far from her. That made her undeniably nervous– sweaty, and hard for her to breathe normally, but she could  acknowledge how well she was doing.
Ellie’s head is dipped down to a paper you two were working on and you’re openly ogling, wondering how she’d look in a pair of glasses. Flipping through papers, tapping the back of a pen on her inviting lips. You tell yourself you snap back to reality before your mind strays any further. 
“If we keep this up, you’ll remember it all in no time” She encourages, eyes still glued on the paper. Secretly, she hopes it takes a little longer. Just a little.
“Thanks for helping me out, Els.” You say, face tilted into the palm of your hand. 
Ellie looks up from the paper to give you a smile, but she doesn’t hold her gaze for long. A millisecond later and her blush would have you thinking she had a sudden, terrible fever. 
“It’s no problem. It helps me out too.” Ellie points to the examples she sketched out for you with her pencil. She pauses before speaking again, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth, “Can I ask you something?” 
Studying her expectantly, you lift your head off your hand. “Yeah?” 
Ellie fidgets with her pencil, trying to muster up courage. Her mouth feels dry trying to push out the words. “I’m also struggling with a class and uh,” she twirls her pencil in one hand, tucking a sliver of her hair behind her ear with the other, “I was wondering if you could be the model for my art final?” Her question came out whinier than she’d like it to, making her freckled-face wince. 
You can sense how nervous she is about asking, but you can’t place your finger on why she ever would be. This is the first time anyone has ever asked you something like this, so in your mind it’s nothing but exciting, especially coming from her. You can already imagine yourself sitting prettily still while Ellie studies you and paints long, fancy strokes on a yellow canvas. “Ellie, are you kidding? I’d love to.” 
Her lashes flutter in disbelief, “Really?”
“You’re helping me, so why not? It’s fair.”
“It’s kind of a weird thing to ask. I mean, we barely know each other.” Ellie murmurs, unaware that you have absolutely no idea what she’s on about. 
You lift a brow at her. “We will eventually, right? What’s weird about a portrait anyways?” 
“It’s not a portrait… Well, I guess it is–“ Ellie sighs into her palm, “I’m drawing you, but…” She cringes before she can finish her sentence. 
“A portrait in pencil? What am l missing?” You slowly question. 
“Think Titanic.” She grimaces as she waits for your reaction, trying not to bang her head on the table for picking Titanic of all movies. 
“Titanic? What does that have to do with…” Your voice trails off, quieting down so you can process what Ellie said. Think Titanic. It's hard for you to connect what the 1997 romance movie had to with this, but when it connected, it connected. The infamous drawing scene was memorable. You’re in awe, not quite sure how to react. 
“You don’t have to be fully… y’know..” Ellie insists. 
Your face is still unreadable, as if you're lost in thought, and it’s freaking her out. Too many what-ifs are going through her head, all of them gradually getting worse the longer you stay silent. She thinks she got too close to the sun when she had more than enough warmth. She's already preparing herself for rejection, worryingly scouting your face for a hint of revulsion; however, it never comes.
“Oh. Okay.” You calmly respond with a shrug, your face still unreadable; the only difference being a light smile. You could’ve thought about it longer, but you’re so flattered Ellie wants you to pose for her that you rather worry about it later. She wants to sketch your body onto paper. Yours. It sounds vulnerable and a little nerve wracking, but she’s your friend. A friend you have a crush on, sure, but you wouldn’t want to inconvenience her over it. Plus, you owe her now. Really, you’re purely being selfless. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.
“Okay?” Ellie repeats to make sure she was hearing things right.
“Like I said, you’re doing this for me, so I’ll do it for you.” You reassure, gesturing around to the study session laid across the table. 
“Are you sure? You know I’ll still tutor you, even if you say no–”
“— Do you not want me to?” You pout your lips, hoping she hasn't changed her mind already.
“Are you shitting me? Of course I do. I just… didn’t expect you to say yes.” Ellie finally says, absolutely dumbfounded given her hand movements. 
You laugh melodically, “Didn’t think that far, huh?” 
“Nope.” She answers with a cute embarrassed smile, her blood rushing to her face. 
Your phone buzzes, probably a text or notification. You reach out and shove a few papers to the side to get to it before taking a look, only for your eyes to be drawn to the time. “Shit. It’s late. I think the library closes soon…” You murmur regretfully, feeling all too comfortable where you were.
Ellie presses her tongue against her cheek in annoyance, upset that time dared to pass by as fast as it did. “We should get going then, I guess.” She says dejectedly, not wanting to leave you just yet. 
You peep her suddenly gray aura and smile warmly towards her. “Can you walk me back to my dorms?”
She nods with subtle enthusiasm and pushes out of her seat, immediately packing all her belongings to join your side. “Yes! — I mean, sure. Yeah.”
—-
The lamp post lights are warm and waning, complimenting the shadows on both your faces. You two walk down the dark flagstone path towards the housing area, chatting about nothing. It’s nice to be able to spend a little more time with her before the night is over. Unfortunately, you guys were drawing closer and closer to your dorm and the feeling of loss came as quick as it left. 
“Hey, Els?” 
She glanced at you and hummed in response, giving you the signal to continue. “I was wondering if you were gonna be at some party tomorrow? Apparently Dina’s co-hosting it.”
Ellie looks at you quizzically before looking off elsewhere to think. “Why the fuck would they party on a Sunday?”
You snort out a laugh before lifting and dropping your shoulders, “I don’t know, senioritis or something. Will you come though?”
“Mhm, I’ll be there.” She smiles as she speaks, loving how your face lit up by the end of it. Ellie isn’t too fond of parties, but for you? She can make an exception.
You cheer in a whisper tone and it makes Ellie smile harder, her features creasing in adoration. You two finally approach your dorm building. You walk up a step before turning to wave goodbye. She raises a palm in return and you flash her a smile that makes her heart leap before turning into the building.
If Ellie couldn’t tell before, she’s completely enamored by you. 
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a/n: fuck jk rowling but i rlly couldnt think of any other commonly known fantasy book :/
taglist: @bready101 @pascals-doll @macaroni676 @khai-le @pedropascalsbbg @seraphicsentences @starlight-savegery @snowy-vee @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliesactualgirlfriend
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gothgleek · 3 months
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Agnus Tully- NSFW Alphabet
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I do not own the Holdovers nor the images used in this post. All thoughts are my own. The borders are from @saradika-graphics
TW: sexual acts, kinks, parental issues, mention of mental hospitals, porn.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are appreciated but not required 🌸🌼🌸
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Really cuddly and clingy but quiet. He’ll pepper you with kisses and praise, but he’s the one who needs more attention afterwards.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
We all know Agnus is a breast man. You will need to snap your fingers a few times before his eyes can tear away from looking down your shirt. Pervert.
He also LOVES biting them and marking you up.
His favorite part of himself is his legs. He takes a lot of pride of being tall and take any opportunity he can to show them off. Hence the James Bond trunks.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He has a paralyzing fear of parenthood but he LOVES cumming inside you unprotected. Especially if he can watch it drip out of you before he eats you out. He wouldn’t mind painting your tits with his cum either. He’ll take a pic of you like that too and ruin it later.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He steals your underwear and uses it to jerk off. He’s also into roleplay but he hasn’t found the right time to bring it up.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
His only previous experience comes from porno mags. Maybe he had a partner or two in college, but I doubt it got anywhere emotionally. Regardless, you’re his first MAJOR relationship either as FWB or serious partners.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Mating press. Pretzel dip. The butterfly. As long as he can stare into your eyes and have your legs in his hands, he will be a happy man. Also you against the wall, him in his knees so he can give you oral and try to make your legs shake.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Half his dirty talk is him being sarcastic shit. Other times he has to keep himself from laughing at your cum drunk expressions because he’s proud he did that to you.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
This is the 70s so he’s trying to grow chest hair and a bush. However, he’s very particular and he trims himself.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Once he’s in love, he will make sure you know. However, he’s still Agnus so he might be a little shit about it. He’ll whisper sweet nothings while pounding you or while he teases you. Nonetheless, he’s his most romantic during aftercare.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
As much as he tries to deny it, he loves jacking off. The dorms make it hard for him to do it as much as he wants but as soon as he’s whipping it out. He’s quick too, to the point he was worried he wouldn’t be able to control himself when he fucks you. Thankfully that’s not an issue.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Taking pics of you as we’ve established. Role-play as well. Due to his many boarding schools, he’s developed an appreciation for uniforms. He’s also warming up to having a minor religious kink. The two of you definitely role played as James Bond and a damsel before though.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He’s got an exhibitionist kink in him so the woods and library are the most fun for him. One time the two of you fucked at an open air concert. But he loves fucking in his room so the two of you can nap and cuddle after.
He hates the beach though. He took you on a family vacation once and sand got everywhere when the two of you fucked.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Thank god for the sexual revolution and its hatred for bras. Low cut tops and kindness. That’s what attracts him to you. Also when you wear a low cut top and beat him at pinball, that’s when he is all over you.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Restraining him (ropes, handcuffs, etc.) reminds him of his father so that’s a no-go. Maybe he’ll warm up to the idea of restraining you but not for a long time. Nurse roleplay he’s on the fence about because he could jack off to the idea or a pic of a sexy nurse but he could not get turned on irl for similar reasons. Also not fond of daddy kinks but would be open to a mommy kink. He’s not gonna talk to a therapist about it.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He loves eating you out. And then you introduce him to rimming and he is excited about tasting more of you. He doesn’t even need to touch himself, he will rut against the bed while eating you out. He loves your blowjobs as well but he keeps his hands to himself, pulling his sheets and clawing the walls.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He actually prefers slow and sensual (though no less kinky). Why shouldn’t he take his time with you? Even if it’s a quickie his mouth is everywhere on you, drawing it out as much as possible.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
While he loves taking his time, he has an appreciation for quickies as well given the lack of privacy he’s always had. If you fucked before dating, it would’ve been mostly quickies but now that you’re together, it’s longer. He’s more willing to have a quickie when it’s a stressful time for the both of you (family trouble, finals week, traffic jam, etc.).
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
The great part about the 70s is the sexual revolution. He would be down to experiment with almost anything. Repression is known for creating super kinky people after all. Both of you keep notes about each place and position you’ve fucked, well well as a running list of what kinks you would try again.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
When you first get together, he doesn’t last very long but after a quick break, he’s ready to go again.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Thanks to the sexual revolution (and his wallet), the two of you have more than enough toys. Unfortunately Google tells me sex toys were scary looking during this time so the once the excitement of sex toy shopping wears off, you really only stick to the vibrators. Maybe once nipple clamps are more popular, he’ll have you wear them as well. Your favorite toy to share is the famous hitachi massager.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves teasing you soooo much. He’s such an asshole about it too, teasing you anywhere from a car ride to the library to bed. He enjoys someone he can banter with too so he will take anything you’ve said to him and throw it back in your face later. Absolute menace.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s chatty at first (he LOVES dirty talk) but when he really gets into it, he will just be panting, all words lost. When he finishes, it’ll be a low moan in your ear.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He’s a biter and will mark the hell out of you. Especially your thighs and breasts and ass. Also he had, at one point, made a sex playlist but stopped using it when he couldn’t hear you over the music.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Long but not girthy. Curved. Cut. Grower, not a shower. A nice little happy trail as well.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high. The poor guy is so touch starved, he can’t keep his hands off you. Even if he’s not horny, he acts like it and is always touching you, just so he can tease you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He needs to hold onto you before he falls asleep. He’s secretly romantic and likes to match your breathing and circle his thumb in your skin. When it’s a quickie though? He turns into the energizer bunny and won’t burn out until hours later.
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zombholic · 7 months
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| 𝐃𝐑. 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐓. 𝟒 |
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abby’s pov
walking into the seattle hospital, abby greeted everyone, hands in her white coats pockets as she entered her personal office.
Dr. Abigail Anderson
was written on the black door name slip, unlocking her door she slid her coat off, placing it behind her rolling chair before taking a seat herself, she starting on all the paperwork for surgeries she had to confirm for. a soft knock from her door only a few minutes after she walked in.
“come in” her eyes never adverting from her paper and signatures “hey abs, i got you coffee” owen chimed in, placing her favorite black coffee on the table near the doctor. “oh hey owen, thank you, how you been?” she finally focused her attention on her ex fiancé who unfortunately is neurosurgeon at the same facility.
“i’ve been the same, just curious, manny is having an engagement party next week on sunday, he finally proposed to ms. scientist” owen let out a chuckle, desperately trying to get his ex back. “yeah of course i’ll come, haven’t seen that pendejo in months” she crossed her arms, mans spreading in her chair.
“would you be wanting to come with me? yanno, for old times sake” he left out a breathy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck “well, i was thinking if manny will let me, bring my close friend along instead” she only used close friend not wanting to assume your guys situation at the moment. seeing as owen clearly tensed up in his chair, he sat up straight.
“oh who’s the friend?” he could only curiously ask, not knowing what abby has been doing ever since she broke things off with him “her name is y/n, she’s pretty young but i think everyone would love her, she has the best humor i’ve ever seen” the muscular woman clearly swooning over the girl, even just saying her name gave her butterflies in her stomach.
“oh a girl” owen relaxed a bit, not seeing the very indicating signs that his ex was now fascinated with someone else, a woman. “i don’t think manny would mind at all, she’s probably harmless” he would’ve continued on the conversation until his pager started to go off “that’s my sign to see myself out, see you sunday abs” his gaze lingered a little longer before he left her office.
abby pulled out her phone, her big arms leaning on her desk as she carelessly scrolled through all your social media pages. abby being older didn’t understand that tiktok showed who was able to view your page, the doctor repeatedly watching all your videos, biting down on her bottom lip.
one thing about the cardiologist is that she loved to take things slow, first kiss on the third date, confirm the mutual feelings for each other, she will take her time to make sure its the perfect day to ask you to be hers.
abby hates having intimate moments over the phone, it’s classless unlike her who will take you out on the most magical date, wait till the moonlight is shining on your face, ocean waves flowing so heavily she has to give you her coat to ask you to be her girlfriend.
then theres you … who is literally the most impatient, impulsive girl anyone knows, how else did you get majority of your tattoos anyways? and how else did you end up with three cats that you had to sneak into your apartment to avoid the repulsive pet fee. you’ve gotten into god knows how many fights and arguments with random people because they looked at your loved ones the wrong way.
polar opposites
abby dialed your number into her phone, waiting as it rang for the first, second and third time before you picked up with “doctor? is there an emergency” you sarcastically gasped causing abby to snort “yes there is actually, i need you to be my date for my friends engagement party” she had a toothy smile over the phone, your voice already having her in a foolish daze.
“and how could i ever say no to that? it’s a date lady hulk” god that made her die of laughter “lady hulk? you’re so creative with your words baby” you swore up and down if she continued calling you these pet names you would get down on your knees and suck her str-“will you pick me up?” you spoke up “of course, i’m a lady, i’ll see you sunday and i’ll text you the time when i find out ok?” her little black box going off in the pocket of her fitted scrubs “sounds good to me doc” “bye sweetheart.”
she smiled oh so sweetly before hanging up the call, she could swear that she could listen to you talk nonstop and never get bored. getting up and wrapping the coat around her she dashed into the patients room “he’s having a stroke, close the curtains.”
sunday came creeping by sooner or later, abby who was getting dressed in a fitted long sleeve beige sweater that showed off her arms so well, black slacks with a belt wrapped around and her boots, her har as always in her signature braided ponytail.
she wrapped a cartier watch around her wrist, god she looked so expensive. abby grabbed her engagement present for her friends and headed out her house to swoop you up finally.
parked outside of your apartment she took her phone out to text her pinned contact, y/n 💕. (shes a old give her a break)
Hey, I’m outside.
coming! putting on my shoes loser
she watched as you exited the apartment complex, she couldn’t keep her damn eyes off of you, admiring every aspect of your outfit to the way your black skirt fitted your waist, your grey sweater that fell off your shoulder to the stunning way you layered your silver jewelry.
silver, got it.
she thought to herself, doing her usual thing and opening the door for you, the smell of your florally perfume hitting her like a drug that she can’t get enough of. “you look so so beautiful y/nn” she softly licked her lips, basically drooling over you.
you couldn’t even lie, you were doing the exact same thing, your jaw wanting to drop to the floor with how she had her sleeves rolled up halfway on her arms, god her arms. “you literally look tasty” you giggled causing her to grin.
y/n’s pov
it had been almost ten minutes since you and abby arrived at manny’s, abby having a glass of very expensive liquor in her hand while having you cling onto her other arm like you were showing her off, she loved the way you were wrapped around her.
“so y/n are you in school? majoring in anything?” owen brought up, he was burning holes into your face ever since you walked in holding abby like she was yours. “um no, i’m not in school, i just decided it wasn’t for me i think i rather just explore different things before i settle into one thing for the rest of my life” nora and mel were literally in awe of you, they loved that you were so open and honest.
“oh so what is it that you’re interested in doing?” mel smiled, genuinely wondering unlike owen who wanted to tear you limb from limb. “i think if i do want to school for something it would be veterinarian school, i adore animals.”
abby couldn’t keep her eyes off you, gently rubbing her fingers on your arm with a loving smile across her freckled face. “so do you work?” owen butted in once more “yeah i work at a small coffee shop” you gave him a tight lipped smile causing him to snicker “abby you found her at a coffee shop?” he remarked, he fucking hated that he would rather be with someone of working class than him.
abby was quick to defend you but you were quicker “listen white guy, not all of us our privileged enough to even afford to go to school, i will beat your ass if you keep talking” you jabbed your finger in his chest, everyone around chiming in to calm down the situation.
“oh please you’re the size of my fucking arm i can throw you around like a rag doll” abby pushed you behind her, grabbing the collar of owens button up, nostrils flaring as she threw him against the wall causing him to lose his breath for a minute. “keep talking owen and i will rip your god damn head off” she yelled before manny had to get in between the both of them.
“owen it’s time to go, guys the party is over just go home” he sighed defeated that owen managed to ruin a important day for him.
abby had taken you to her place, still in complete anger from what owen did. you sat on the edge of her bed as she undressed into something more comfortable, she walked back towards you, cupping your face in her hands making you look up at her, her thumbs softly caressing your face “i am so so sorry for what he did, i would have never let him touched you ever.” you held one of her hands that was holding your face and smiled up at her. “abs, i’m not mad at you i swear, plus why was he even coming at me?” you farrowed your brows in genuine confusion.
she sighed heavily, getting down on her knees in front of you, her hand still holding yours. “he’s my ex fiancé, he was jealous of you, why do you think i left him? he always had outbursts like that and i just couldn’t.” she shook her head disappointed “ew you were almost married to a man?” you looked at her in disgusted before turning into a ball of laughter “he’s so ugly, why?” you were curious “i can’t even tell you myself hun, here, i’ll grab you some of my clothes and you can stay here for the night ok?” you felt your stomach burst out in fireworks.
staying at her house? oh my god.
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AUTHORS NOTE: yall … anyways fuck owen and idk anything about working at a hospital so if my info is wrong DONT COME AT ME!!
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moostie1 · 7 months
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I see a lot of content here in the solarpunk community about the importance of re-wilding, of re-introducing biodiversity and turning our garden's into little sanctuaries, but this has always felt super inaccessible to me. I have always lived in rental properties that have little to no outdoor space, need to be regularly mowed for inspections, and where I am not allowed to make any major changes to the garden.
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Recently I moved into a tiny granny flat. The yard is about a metre and a half of grass in a circle around the house, and a metre of grass either side of my concrete driveway. When I first got the inspection report for it, the real estate described the yard as "mostly weeds." This time I thought, fuck it. I only have inspections once every three months, which gives me plenty of time to let it grow without anyone noticing. Plus I had the insurance that with the lawn being "mostly weeds" the real estate wouldn't notice the difference. Let see if letting it grow actually makes a difference to the eco-system around me.
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I invested in a push mower, to cut down the grass without doing much to the "weeds", and then after my first inspection I just let it grow. My hopes were not high. My space is absolutely tiny, and most of the wild flowers growing in my yard mostly invasive species for Australia. I had no idea if it would make any difference at all.
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Its been an uncharacteristically rainy spring here, so the flowers all sprung up far far more quickly than I thought they would. Only two weeks after the mow there were dandelions as high as my knee. With the wildflowers came the bees, and the butterflies, and then after that came the ladybugs, the dragonflies, the lizards, spiders and birds. The photos above are only a tiny fraction of what the garden has on offer, and those are only the photos from this week.
When I first moved in, I didn't used to see anything in the well mowed lawn but ants. Its only been about a month and a half since I mowed it, but with all the rain we've had recently its sprung to life far far more quickly than I'd hoped. With such a teeny tiny lawn in the middle of the suburbs I really didn't expect to see a difference in biodiversity. How much difference can such a tiny little patch of flowers actually make? It turns out a lot.
I'll be devastated when I next have to mow it all down in another 6 weeks, but with the risk of snakes here, its probably for the best. It honestly been so lovely to walk down my driveway in the morning and be circled by all the butterflies. Its made my day every morning.
I hope I've convinced anyone else who also has a tiny space and has been considering letting it grow out to give it a go. You don't need to have a huge garden or be able to plant all native species in order to make a difference. Although these things are great, making due with what you have is the best first step.
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liyawritesss · 9 months
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ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ!ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇꜱ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇ...
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Characters: College!Spider-Verse!Miles Morales 
Type: headcanons
Synopsis: What would it be like to hold the heart of Brooklyn’s very own Spiderman? Is it an exhilarating tale for the ages, or do things crash and burn before the romance even begins?
Warnings: Some cursing but that’s about it
A/N: Think of this as a part 2 to my original college!miles morales headcanons. Very sweet and cute, with Miles being a dork even in his young adult years.
Tags: @6-noir @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @jacuzziwaters @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @niyahwrites @pantherheart @marsfunzon22 @briology @honeybleed
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As said previously in my general college!miles headcanons, I doubt that he’s that invested in dating and pursuing a love life while at school in jersey. So I feel like it’s likely he’ll meet his partner when he travels back home for vacations, weekend trips, etc, as its somewhere he feels more at ease to be himself.
I like the idea of Miles bumping into the attractive person at the Lenny’s Bodega he normally buys his Jamaican Beef Patties from, in a very cheesy and cliche situation where there’s only one left in stock when the both of you reach for it….and Miles being the gentleman he is, would let you have it (also bc there’s a massive fight happening outside and he’s got a suit up real quick, but you don’t question just how frantic he is when leaving the store)
After that Miles tries his hardest to see you again, making up the lamest excuses to head to the corner store. Mama Rio’s out of milk? He’s already bolting out the door. Catching up with dad while he’s on patrol and Jeff mentions he’s a tiny bit hungry? No problem Pops, I got it. And lord knows that boy do not need to go on that many ‘snack runs’ with how skinny and lanky he is, cuz he not gaining nothin’
Though at some point he does run into you again, and he’s able to engage a conversation by the fact that there’s more beef patties in stock so both of you guys can get one. It’s a cheesy joke but it works, cuz when you laugh a little it gives him a major confidence boost
Of course, Mama Rio peeps that somethings up with her son when he comes home with an extra pep in his step. But just because he’s an adult now doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have grounds to tease him. “Did you meet someone today? A girl? Or….. a guy?” She absolutely lives for seeing her son happy and giddy.
It starts just as casual texting, sending tiktoks back and forth and sending casual check-ins. Over time it evolves into meetups, hangouts, facetime calls. And originally Miles is just like “they’re attractive and cool asf” and is perfectly fine with a friendship. It’s been a long time since he’s had a genuine one (in reference to the events of ATSV), and more than anything, just wants someone he can be real with.
But even he can’t fight the realization that at some point throughout your friendship, his perspective of you shifted from platonic to romantic. Miles started to notice little things about you that would make his heart stall in his chest or his stomach flip around with butterflies. Noticing a new fragrance you’ve bought, or a change in your usual hair style, or being more in tune with your emotions than even you are.
So it begs to question; when would Miles say anything about his budding feelings? Well…he probably won’t say much of anything at first. If anything he tries to bury them because he doesn’t wanna ruin the one good friendship he’s been able to maintain since he was a teen. But his changes in behavior don’t go unnoticed by you, and for a while, the two of you walk this thin line of “will they-wont they” until you ultimately bring the conversation up
You go on a couple of dates, have a couple of conversations about what would be expected in a relationship with the both of you, and with your talks Miles slowly but surely begins to gather the courage he needs to be firm with his desires for you…which comes in the form of a kiss underneath the stars while stargazing on the rooftop of his brownstone building.
In the beginning, he’s still kind of skittish, he doesn’t wanna do anything wrong ruin what you two have, and there’s a lot of reassurance that goes into play during the first few months of you two dating (on both ends, really). But once he’s comfortable and you two are really set in…good luck tryna get rid of him
Clingy clingy clingy clingy clingy- loves cuddles, hugs, kisses- is definitely a “where my hug at” typa nigga, and will immediately get grumpy if you dont give him a greeting kiss. Always has a hand on you, whether it be on your back, in your hand, on your thigh- he just needs to physically feel you to ease his mind sometimes.
He draws portraits of you and leaves them in your bedroom or his to find. He also likes when you give him feedback and praise for his drawings because they make him feel really good about them. He always jokes about how you change your hair so much, it’s hard for him to nail down certain hair types and protective styles that you wear.
When he’s home for summer break, your parents can’t and will never stop you two from sneaking into each other’s rooms through the fire escape. They just expect to come into your rooms and find the two of you cuddled up together, with blankets lazily thrown over your bodies. But it also gives them plenty of pictures to blackmail the both of you with. (Jefferson is notorious for picking on his son for clinging onto you like how he used to cling onto Rio’s arm as a baby when he slept. Miles will never know peace in his own house.)
If you have your own apartment, Rio has to beg this boy to come home, and constantly makes jokes about him moving in with you since he spends so much time at your place anyway.
When he’s away at school, he calls you three times a day - one in the morning so that you two can wake up and get ready together, one in the afternoon when he’s in between classes and while you’re either in between classes or on lunch at your job, and once in the evening so you two can unwind and fall asleep together on the phone for the process to be repeated again.
He likes to speak random sentences in Spanish and watch your face contort in confusion. In the scenario that you don’t know or understand the language, you’ll ask him what he said, but he’s so difficult with it, he lets you beg until you ultimately give up, and whispers it in your ear while giving you a back hug. It turns out to be something cheesy as hell, but you love it either way.
If you do understand/know the language, you look at him like he’s grown two heads and question what it is he’s even saying, because in this scenario he’ll say the most random and out of pocket shit just to annoy you. Though you forgive him in the end because he honestly sounds so good when he’s speaking his mother’s tongue.
Dating Miles also means sharing him with Brooklyn, and subsequently New York in general, when it comes to his Spiderman duties. If you can hold him down even though he can’t guarantee being a constant presence for you, you’ll make him fall harder than he originally had. If you love him unconditionally, even if the nights where he comes to you, battered, bruised and exhausted; even when he has to cancel dates or disappear in the middle of a phone conversation; or there are certain things he can’t tell you because of his superhero occupation - the one thing Miles will always promise you is that he’ll come back to you every single time. And that's more than enough for the both of you.
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If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!
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ddejavvu · 7 months
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Helloooo omggg I love your blog sm I have a request that’s terrible so don’t feel pressured to do it lmao
I’m afraid of escalators- everytime ya girl tries to get on one since I got a foot injury I fall :(( but I was just at the airport and had to go on a bunch SO- Aaron Hotchner holding hands everytime we have to go on an escalator-
Working to hunt and apprehend the country's most dangerous criminals should mean that you're not scared of much. You can handle flying, you take the jet constantly. Being mugged is something you know you'll likely withstand, even if you're injured, because you can fight back. You have no unique fears, like birds or butterflies or cats- well, that is, excluding escalators.
They're just not your forte. Each time you ride one you fear falling, the constant, steady movement something that you need to spend far more than three seconds analyzing before hopping on. Unfortunately, as you're currently tracking down information from the third floor of a major airport, escalators are a must.
Aaron boards before you, and you thank the heavens that it means he doesn't see you linger. You set your hand on the railing, gut sinking as you feel it relentlessly move beneath your fingertips. Turning, sucking, pulling you in, pulling you down, pulling you under. You're so busy watching the belt turn that you miss the way Hotch has asked you a question, then turned to wonder after your response, and found you unmoving at the base of the escalator.
"Y/L/N," He calls, and your white-hot face snaps up to meet his gaze, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." You nod, lifting your foot to board. But it won't lower itself onto the stairs in front of you. You briefly remember that it won't move on its own, that you'll need to control it, but you can't manage that, either.
Hotch scrutinizes you with a furrowed brow. When he has the evidence he needs, in your nervous glances and stiff limbs, he quickly descends the escalator, having moved even further away from you while speaking. He jogs down the stairs, moving himself faster than it's moving him, and nudges you out of the way to disembark.
"Come on," He urges, seeking out your hand in his own, "Grab the railing."
You lower your hand onto it with a shaky breath, and he squeezes your hand in encouragement. Your grip is loose enough for it to pass beneath you, but present, and he tugs you an inch forwards towards the escalator.
"I've got you," He pledges, holding your hand steadily, so that it grounds you, "Let's go."
He steps backwards onto the escalator, pulling you with him, and all of a sudden you're on it. He gives you no time to think, just pulls your hand so that your feet move too, and then you're doing it. Your legs feel locked, tight, and in danger of toppling you right over, and you fear you may be cutting off the circulation to Hotch's hand when you squeeze it, but if you are, he says nothing. He just stands there, glancing briefly backwards to ensure that he doesn't stumble while disembarking at the top.
"Good," He murmurs, a mere five seconds from the last stair, "Now, hold my hand, there you go, and- there."
He steps off, pulls you with him, then you're done. Then it's over, and you're standing fifteen feet higher than you had been before, feeling solid, unmoving ground below your feet.
"Hotch," You try, your voice painfully weak, "Um, I- I'm not-"
"It's alright." He brings his free hand to the one of yours that he's holding, sealing your hand between both of his and squeezing it warmly, "You don't have to tell me why, and you don't need to be embarrassed. Everyone's got something."
"Alright," You nod once, thankful for the out, but still in disbelief that you'd not only ridden an escalator, but that your boss had held your hand for the trip, and told you not to be ashamed, "Uh- thank you."
"Anytime." He nods, dropping only one of his hands. Anytime becomes right now, when he glances a few feet away at the next set of escalators, and that sinking feeling sets right back into your stomach.
"You can have a minute," Hotch uses your intertwined hands to lead you to a wall that you lean up against. To draw your mind away from the daunting mechanical hum of the escalators, you study Hotch's tie instead, not brave enough yet to look at his face.
After a moment, you speak: "Hotch?"
"Hm?"
"You said everyone has something."
"I did," He nods, anticipating your next question.
"What's yours?"
He takes a sharp breath in, then admits, "Mice."
Before you can react, though you'll gawp at him later for the answer, he drags you towards the next escalator.
"Ready?" He asks, and infers a yes when really you might have said no, stepping back onto the stairs.
It's a grueling ride, one that has you rife with nerves, but when you're finally standing on the third floor, you manage, "Mice?"
"Not important," He drops your hand to take your back instead, pushing you towards the help desk with vigor you don't typically see from your usually stoic boss, "Let's focus on our work, Agent."
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saturnville · 6 months
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kiss me and go.
pairing: young!coriolanus snow x black!fem!reader content: an intimate morning between coriolanus and linnea. warning: fluuuuffff. an: idk I know he’s a pos but I like fluff so. and yes, linnea is Black. interactions are greatly appreciated 🤍
“Coriolanus…”
Love was unfamiliar. Kindness and surface-level adoration, sure, but love? What a foreign concept.
He hardly imagined what it felt like. On the rare occasion he that he did, he imagined his intestines twisting uncomfortably as an egregious amount of butterflies broke free from their internal habitat. A sensation that was borderline nauseating. It seemed to be much different than he imagined, however.
Love was an unfamiliar concept, but he’d grown to welcome what it offered. Security, growth, gentleness, comfort. At one point in time, he could hardly define comfort. If it meant residing in a home with peeling paint, rusted sink handles, and walls with circular cut-outs, then sure, he knew comfort. But, soon, his definition changed, and it became a simple word—Linnea.
She, in all her wonder, was comfort. He found it in the depths of her brown eyes, hypnotic and tantalizing. In her mahogany skin, so soft, delicate, and luscious. What he would give to trace every inch of it with his lips and savor the taste for a lifetime. And her smile, a wide and dimpled grin that blinded him the first time he saw it. How gorgeous a woman could be, he never understood.
Comfort was the warmth that radiated from her body as she held him nearer. The evening had long gone and the sun prepared to make its grand entrance. Their bodies were twisted and tied together for majority of the night, dancing underneath the spotlight of a full moon. Now, they laid still, the sound of their breaths echoing throughout the quaint room.
He laid between her bare thighs, his the tips of his slender fingers caressing them gently. They traced the scars from rough horseplay as a child and were tickled by the stubble of a week old shave. He was relaxed as he rubbed along her body, and felt her fingers massage his scalp.
“Coriolanus,” she repeated. Her voice was different from those of the women in the Capital—higher in pitch, nasally, and congested with arrogance. Hers was gritty, deep, and distinct. It scratched an itch deep in his brain that he failed to recognize existed until she appeared.
“Yes?” he answered lowly. He raised his chin to meet her eyes. They were covered by her low eyelids.
“You’ve got to go before the sun comes up.” Forbidden love affairs were outplayed, so she thought. Until she realized the position they were in—a Capitol born boy in kahoots with a District girl who made it to the Capitol through intelligence and newfound wealth through her father’s marriage. She refused to have her time be made harder because she couldn’t resist the charming Coriolanus Snow.
Coriolanus grunted softly as he tapped her leg gently. Her thighs fell open just slightly, and he used the opportunity to pivot and crawl over her body. Her bare thighs grazed against his waist as they took their rightful place.
Coriolanus took her chin between his fingers and titled her chin upward. Linnea’s eyes fluttered and her lips parted as she awaited his mouth on hers. She whispered, “Kiss me and go…tonight will be here before you know it.”
He smiled softly and massaged her lip with his thumb. He prodded the entrance until her lips parted and enclosed around his thumb. Coriolanus hummed and brought his face to hers. She whimpered softly when their lips collided and his chest pressed against hers. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
Coriolanus pulled away from her and pecked her cheek softly. He slid out of the bed and began pulling his clothes over his long limbs. One more time, their lips collided. “Okay?”
Linnea nodded and smiled bashfully. “Okay.”
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forever-rogue · 1 year
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Soon
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AN | Here is one of the many ideas that I’ve had for Cal! Or - Cal Kestis visits you and holds the promise of a future together…finally 🥺 This contains no major spoilers for Survivor!
Warnings | None
Pairing | Cal Kestis x Fem!Reader
Word Count | 3k
Masterlist | SW Characters, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You knew it was him from the moment you noticed the figure in the distance coming closer. There was a trademark swagger to his walk and his lithe silhouette gave him away every time. No matter how much you tried to suppress the excitement in your chest, it never seemed to work. Not when it came to him.
"Hello Cal Kestis," he stopped right in front of you, a roguish smile on his face. His hair was longer now, and he hadn't shaved in a bit and…he was sporting a black eye, a busted lip, and cuts all over his face. A sigh escaped your lips softly, "Cal."
"It's okay," he insisted softly, his hand instinctively went to your face as he brushed his knuckles across your cheek, "you should see the other guy."
"Cal."
"I know," he knew. Knew that nothing else but him mattered to you, "its nothing."
"You're going to give your daughter nightmares if she sees you like this," you leaned into his touch, "let me take care of you."
"I didn't come here for that," he whispered softly, a sheepish expression on his face. Despite everything he went through, he always managed to keep his boyish charm.
"I know," you promised, "but I also happen to be fond of you. Come on - she's still at daycare."
You reached for his hand and pulled him into the small house, mind already buzzing with the multitude of questions you had for him. It had been a while since you'd last seen him. Over a year.
You set him down on the edge of the tub in the 'fresher as you glanced through medical supplies you had. You'd kept way more on hand since you'd met him a few years ago. They came in handy.
"Do I want to know what happened?" You gently dabbed at his lip, wiping away the dried blood before tending to the scratches on his cheek. 
"Probably not," he admitted softly, earning a quick nod from you. You grabbed some bacta gel and spread it around the dark bruising around his eye, "the last job didn't go so well."
You paused at the mention of his job. You knew what he did, more or less, but he never really went into details. For your sake and his. 
"I'm glad you're okay," you looked up at him with wide eyes and he nodded softly, "please be careful."
"I am…" he caught your eye for a moment, watching as you raised your brows at him, "I will be."
"Promise me, Cal Kestis," you kneeled down so you were almost eye to eye with him, having to look up slightly, "please."
"I swear,” and he meant it. For himself, for you, and the daughter you shared. 
You looked at him for a long moment. He'd become more hardened since you'd met him. But the boy you'd fallen in love with was still underneath it all. He didn't even know you loved him - at least you didn’t think he did. And you were almost positive that he didn’t feel that way about you. 
You’d met by chance, became friends, and after a drunken one-night hookup ending up sharing a daughter. But that didn’t mean you didn’t love him; you did and you just wanted him safe and sound. 
“Okay,” you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek before standing back up. He followed suit and you noticed the flush of pink on his face. You tried to ignore the butterflies as you trailed your fingers along his scruffy jaw, “this is new.”
“You hate it,” he teased, smiling at you in the crooked way that you adored.
“I like it actually,” you smirked at him, “suits you. Now c’mon, let’s grab some lunch and then we can get Tansy. And you can tell me all about your adventures.”
“Sounds good,” he agreed softly, “missed you both.”
Your heart skipped a few beats before you made a small sound in response. He was really making this whole only friends thing way too hard.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Tell me then,” you watched your favorite ginger jedi from across the table, relaxed at being in his presence again. You were sure that he could feel it, “what has been keeping you so occupied lately?”
“I…” he paused for a moment, looking around surreptitiously before leaning closer to you. You mirrored his action and motioned for him to go on, “I know I should have been back sooner.”
“Cal…”
“It’s not fair to Tansy for me to be gone so long,” he sighed lightly and you gave his hand a small squeeze, “or you-”
“Well, we didn’t exactly plan on…you know. Having a kid,” it definitely hadn’t been part of any plan you’d ever had. But still, he handled it beautifully and did his best to take care of both of you in his own way. After your daughter had been born, you’d been tempted to ask him to stay, to try and be a proper family, but you knew that wasn’t in his cards. You’d always known that - there was no way you’d keep Cal Kestis from fulfilling his destiny.
“No,” you might have been right, but he wouldn’t have changed a thing, “listen, I know this is going to sound crazy, and it probably is, but I think I…something’s happened.”
“Crazy? From you, jedi?” you whispered the last part, and brought a smile to his face, “tell me.”
“I went to Koboh to look for Greez for help with the Mantis after…a job on Coruscant that went wrong,” your heart constricted at the mere thought of something happening to him, “one thing led to another but basically we found out about this planet called Tanalorr.”
“Tanalorr. I’ve never heard of that…”
“Almost no one has,” his eyes practically glittered with excitement, “a jedi master found it hundreds of years ago and tried to…hide it basically. Keep it safe and untouched. If we find it, and assuming all of it’s true, it could be a place untouched by the Empire, and raiders, and anyone else. It could be a new home…we could be safe there.”
Your brow furrowed as you tried to process everything that he was saying. It all sounded so good and wonderful and the idea that there was a safe place somewhere in the galaxy made your heart yearn for the future. A future you could maybe share with Cal and your daughter as a family. 
“Cal,” you sighed softly and noticed the way his face fell, “that sounds…amazing - truly. I know the jedi were - are - capable of amazing things. But this…it sounds like a tale told to keep children entertained.”
“It’s real,” he insisted, “I know it is. I’ve seen proof. I know it’s out there..I-I just have to find it.  Then we could-”
“Wait, Cal, stop for a moment,” your face was a mask of worry despite your ebay efforts to keep it neutral, “you’re not seriously thinking about this, are you? This is crazy-”
“It’s a risk that could be worth everything,” he took your hand in both of his hands and held onto it tightly, “we wouldn’t have to worry about anything. We’d be safe.”
“If you don’t die trying to get there,” you whispered, “or what if you get there and it’s something completely different? I don’t…I can’t lose you, Cal.”
���There’s risk involved with everything - even you being here,” he closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, “but it’s a risk I have to take. I promise-”
“She’s like you,” you blurted out and caused Cal’s eyes to snap open and watch you closely. You pulled your hand away and swallowed the lump that had welled up in your throat, “Tansy…I think she’s like you. Sensitive.”
Oh. Oh. He knew, he’d always know that there was a high likelihood that his daughter would end up like him. Force sensitive. Back before the end of the Order, she would have likely already have been on her way to Jedi Temple on Coruscant. But now all it did was serve to put a giant target on her. A rush of pride and excitement flowed through him - along with a bundle of nerves settling into his stomach. 
“How do you…know?”
“I’ve noticed her doing some things that a normal kid definitely couldn’t do,” you whispered, “you’ll have to tell me for me but…I think I’m right. Cal…this is really exciting but-”
“I’m scared,” he finished for you and you nodded lightly, “I will never do anything to put either of you in danger. I’ll keep you, both of you safe. I promise.”
“But how can I keep you safe?” your voice cracked slightly as you looked at him with concern. His expression was soft as you turned your head and wiped away the tears that had rolled down your cheeks, “Cal, I l-”
“Daddy!” 
Tansy tore away from her babysitter, breaking into as much of a run as was possible for her little legs. You shook your head fondly before giving an apologetic expression to the twi'lek that cared for her. 
"Tan Tan!" Cal dropped to a crouch so he could scoop her into his arms, embracing her tightly. The resemblance between the two of them was uncanny; she'd inherited his red hair and green eyes and already had his sense of adventure. The two of them were nothing but trouble together already, "I've missed you so much."
"Missed you too," despite the fact that he wasn't around all the time - he tried as best as he could to be there for her - you were happy that they shared such a close bond. She adored him as he did her, "are you staying?"
"Yes," he promised, peppering her chubby cheeks with kisses, "if that's okay with Mommy."
You caught for a moment, trying to hide the exasperated look on your face. Of course you wanted him to stay, but you also weren't finished with your previous conversation, "yes, of course. You're always welcome, Cal."
"Yay," Tansy wrapped her little arms around his neck and clung onto him like a koala, "I can show you my new toys!"
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"I think she's finally asleep," Cal quietly padded out of Tansy's room and made his way back over to you. You were in the living room, nursing a mug of tea and absentmindedly reading a holobook. He sat down next to you, tense for a moment as he anticipated your reaction, "she's got so much energy."
"She takes after you in so many ways," you put the book and turned to him with a soft smile. Cal mirrored it before, reaching over and gently tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. He’d been with you for a couple of weeks now, and you yearned for him to stay and make this your everyday reality. It would have been so easy…
"What are you thinking about?" His voice was barely above a whisper. One of the things you loved - and sometimes hated - about him was that he'd always been able to read you so easily. 
"I wish you were here more often," you hated how small and pathetic your voice sounded as you shrugged your shoulders lightly, "not for my sake but hers. But it'd be nice knowing you are safe too."
The jedi paused for a long moment, the air thick with so many unsaid things. He allowed himself to catch a glimpse of your expression before sitting back and exhaling softly, "I love you, you know."
"Cal, you don't just have to say-"
"I'm not," he insisted firmly and your eyes widened in surprise, "you know I'd never lie to you or say anything I didn't mean. And I'm not just saying it because of Tansy. I mean it - I've always meant it."
"Oh. Oh," maker. Cal just said what you had wanted to say for so long but couldn't bring yourself to admit. Which meant he felt the same. He felt the same way. But there was still a put in your stomach, "why did you leave?"
He paused, his lips pulling into a thin line, "you knew I couldn't stay. Especially after you got pregnant. It wasn't safe for me to be here all the time. I just wanted you both safe."
"I know," and you had. Cal did everything with purpose…he wasn't the kind of man to anything without some consideration, "I know. But I still wish you were here more. And I feel so selfish for even thinking that."
"It's not selfish," he whispered, brushing his knuckles across your cheek, "I wish you were with me too. I think about every day, you know."
You managed a small, teary eyed little smile. He reached into the collar of his shirt and pulled out the chain that was nestled safely against his chest. A small gasp escaped your lips when you realized it was your necklace. The very same one you'd given him the first time he'd left you a few months after the two of you had met. You'd found out you were pregnant a few weeks later.
"You still have it," you traced your finger along the soft golden chain, causing his heart to skip a few beats from your tender touch, "after all this time."
"I've never taken it off," he put his hand on top of yours and lightly squeezed it, "sometimes I feel like this is the only thing that's kept me alive."
"I love you," your declaration was so quiet that Cal almost wasn't sure if he'd heard you correctly. Judging from the nervous look on your face, he was pretty sure you'd said that. You bit the inside of your cheek for a moment, "I just wanted you to know too."
"C'mere," his hands found your face and you had to work to keep a wistful sigh from escaping. You leaned in and before you could even think about it, he was kissing you. Softly and gently, but with everything he had to give. You didn't pull away from him until you were dizzied and breathless. He pressed his forehead against yours, smiling softly, "one day, I'll get to do this every day."
"Every day?"
"Yes," it was a promise, resolute and firm, "I just need a little more time. I want to follow this lead and find Tanalorr."
"Cal-"
"I'll be careful," the reassurance didn't ease your worry, "if it's safe and actually is what it'd supposed to be, I'll come for both of you and we can make a new home."
"And if it's not?"
"I'll find us somewhere safe," he trailed his fingers softly along your jaw, "I promise."
"Okay," you didn't want to agree but you also knew there was no way to talk Cal out of something when he was set in his ways. You fisted the front of his shirt in your hand and blink away the fresh tears, "promise me one more thing?"
"Anything," he brushed your tears away and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"Come back to us," his eyes softened as you silently pleaded for him, the force, the universe or whatever was out there, go make it come true, "please come back to us safely. I can't…I don't want anything to happen to you."
"I'll always come back to you," in your heart you knew he meant it, "and Tansy. I just need a little bit of time."
"Okay," you exhaled shakily, "okay. When were you thinking about leaving?"
"Now - tonight," that was enough to crush your spirit, "the sooner I'm gone, the sooner I'm back. And I…I think it might be easier if I'm gone tonight rather than leaving when she's awake."
"I hate that you're right," you huffed with laughter, but there was no amusement behind the sound, "come back soon?"
"As soon as I can," he wrapped you up in a tight hug, pulling as tightly against his chest as possible. You hugged him back just as fiercely, wishing you'd never have to let him go. He kissed the side of your head as you buried your face in his chest, "soon."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"This is always the worst part," you stood on your doorstep in the middle of the night, bidding your goodbyes to Cal. Again. At least this time you knew it wouldn't be too long, "watching you go."
"Yeah," he cast a forlorn look towards the window of his daughter's room. His heart ached already, "its hard for me too. But this is the last time we'll have to be apart."
"Swear on it, Cal Kestis," you held out your pinkie and he couldn't help the laugh that reached your ears. He hooked his pinkie around yours and squeezed lightly, "or I'll find you and make you regret it."
"Swear," he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your palm, "I wouldn't put anything past you."
"Good," your heart fluttered at his kiss and you leaned in and pressed another to his lips, "see you soon."
"Soon," he agreed, kissing you a few more times, "I love you."
"I love you, Cal Kestis," you touched his cheek before whispering, "may the force be with you."
"And with you," he took one last look at you before taking a step back, "oh - you were right, you know. About Tansy."
"Oh," you looked at him with a wondrous expression, "oh?"
"We'll talk about it next time," he offered you a cheeky wink as you beamed at him, "just be happy with the knowledge that you were right."
"Like always," you held up a hand in a small, sad little wave, "goodbye, Cal."
"Not goodbye - see you soon, sweetheart."
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the-solar-system52 · 16 days
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TPOH UPDATE THEORY
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TPOH UPDATED AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE I HAVE THEORIES!!
So! Negative talking with the Butterfly definitely did something to him. Maybe he recognised their voice? Or he looked at him directly in their eyes? Some people have proposed the idea that Anxiety blinded Negative, and if that's the case, then I wonder how long the effect will last.
The Butterfly gave him a flashback to his human life, and I'm guessing its one that includes the Butterfly.
Its hard to make out, but we see a human hand extending out, and text that says "WAIT! Don't lea-" (I'm guessing 'don't leave') and "What do you say? We got a deal?"
What's even more interesting, is that RGB didn't get this flashback when he came into contact with the Butterfly. Only Negative did.
This tells us two major things:
The Butterfly used to be a human and they knew Human RGB
2. Negative has access to memories of their life that RGB doesn't
Starting with the first one, I think I'm beginning to figure out just what happened between Butterfly and RGB.
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It all starts with this infamous page. The Butterfly gave RGB a schism, which caused him to get a flashback. In this flashback, he is in a backstage acting room (judging that there's one of those fancy mirrors with the lights on them in the background) and he looks very tired and angry. He then tells whoever he is talking to that he hates them.
I assume that this is RGB talking to whoever the Butterfly used to be.
In the lastest update, the flashback gives off similar vibes. RGB and The Butterfly make a deal, but there is also text ("Don't leave") that implies one of them is backing out of the deal. I'm not exactly sure who is who in this situation though.
Either way, RGB did something that really pissed off the Butterfly enough for them to still be mad at them in The Land of Make Believe.
My assumption is this:
As we know, RGB was an actor. So I'm guessing The Butterfly was either an actor, director, or any professional job that would give them the opportunity to meet RGB.
Just like the Butterfly is trying to partner with Negative in this scene, Human Butterfly had a partnership with Human RGB long ago. I'm not sure what it was, but I'm guessing it was related to acting. (It also could've been romantic. Or both. RGB already has like three partners, I wouldn't put it past him.) But the Butterfly messed something up so badly that is caused RGB to get mad and call off the partnership, which is the scene we see on the "I hate you" page. The Butterfly begged RGB to stay ("Wait! Don't leave.") but he didn't.
This may have led to consequences that ruined the Butterfly's career. Either way, they were so hurt by this that they still resent RGB to this day. I have no clue how The Butterfly made it to The Land of Make Believe, since I don't think they were a hero, but it was probably something to do with how RGB treated them.
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So when The Butterfly asked Negative for a partnership again, not knowing who Negative was, he got a flashback.
The colours that come out of Negative's vents are Red and Yellow, Anger and Anxiety. Both emotions fit perfectly with this situation.
(Or I could be totally wrong. Since I don't know who's who, it could be the BUTTERFLY saying 'I hate you' and RGB saying 'Don't leave.' But I think the first version fits better with the overarching theory I have. So I'll assume RGB is saying 'I hate you' unless proven otherwise.)
Please let me know if anyone has anything to add to this theory! I think I'm really getting close to figuring this stuff out but there's still some stuff I'm confused on.
Onto the second thing!
I've already talked about this a lot in this theory, but I'd like the expand on it a bit. That theory is slightly outdated since now we know The Butterfly doesn't know who Negative is, but I think I was on the right track.
When RGB and Negative split, Negative took some of RGB's memories with him. (That, or whatever memories RGB sold to Time were given to Negative. I haven't decided yet but either way Negative has some of RGB's lost memories.)
Since RGB and Negative used to be a whole person as a human, parts of their personality in the flashbacks are influenced by both RGB and Negative.
More than that, we have visual identifiers as to which personality is being portrayed in these flashbacks!
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When Human RGB's eyes are covered and we see his mouth, it's RGB's memory. Since his TV self has a mouth and no eyes. This means RGB is the one having the flashback and the memory has him displaying more 'RGB-esque' personality traits. Like, in this scene, sleeping on the job and being woken up by a colleague is definitely something I imagine RGB doing, but no so much Negative.
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When Human RGB's mouth is covered and we see his eyes, it's Negative's memory. Since his TV self has an eye and no mouth. In this scene, he is displaying more 'Negative-esque' personality traits. He is being confrontational and cold, and straight up telling someone he hates them. That doesn't sound like something our resident coward RGB would do.
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And to add to this, blue roses show up as this flashback happens. This memory belongs to Negative, but RGB is viewing it because of his schism. And as I've said before, his schisms/gaps are definitely related to Negative.
So when they split, their human memories and personality traits were split up between them.
I really hope I am right, because I LOVE this facial feature detail! The fact we never see his full face at once gives the impression of him not being 'complete' bc he's not! He's literally being split into two people, so his face was split accordingly. Genuinely a genius visual metaphor on Mod's part. And it really makes me wonder if we will see his full face if RGB and Negative ever fuse back together again.
It's something to keep in mind for the next flashback!
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As for the lastest memory, I'm not sure if it's Negative or RGB's, since we don't see their face. It's a possibility it is either a shared memory or RGB's memory that Negative is viewing, which would explain why it messes up Negative so much. And why we see some of RGB's colour return to him.
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And what on earth is happening to Negative here? At first I thought he was going to faint and allow RGB to return, but now I'm not sure. Yes he is disoriented, but I think he'll be sticking around for just a bit longer. The blue roses haven't popped yet, and they tend to do that when he leaves. And I'm hoping he'll get a little more screentime since they still need to escape the house and everything, but I won't jinx it.
And what's with the yellow root in his leg? Those roses are mysterious as fuck, and I wanna find out what they'll do to him. I am still trying to figure out wether Negative completely controls them, or if they kinda have a mind of their own. They could make him stronger or make him weaker. They could charge that static electricity again. They could do something to his gaps. Who knows! But I'll be back next Sunday to figure it out.
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